#i myself cant thank you enough

[retellingthehobbit]

I’m making a webcomic adaptation of The Hobbit! It’s an epic cool passion project that incorporates as much of Tolkien’s prose as possible while also being my own take on the story, it features a variety of different art styles to represent the worlds of different characters in Middle Earth, it’s over 100 pages long already, the art/writing keeps gradually improving over time, and you should follow it! Like, comment, and subscribe! *dabs*

Okay I admit I’m awful at ‘marketing.’ But my point stands! Follow for queer Tookish antics over the Edge of the Wild. 

You can keep up by following me here at @retellingthehobbit on Tumblr. This blog posts a new 10ish-page-long chapter once a month (on the 13th), as well as assorted WIP art :3. The first chapter on tumblr is here. (I started out posting on my main @secretmellowblog, so the earlier chapters were posted there instead.) However, I personally recommend keeping up with the comic by bookmarking it on ao3 here or subscribing on Webtoon here. This keeps all the chapters neatly organized in one place, and also sends you an email notification whenever it updates, which is helpful because I don't update weekly :). I currently update monthly, on the thirteenth day of every month.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy!

[fried-manto]

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[helluvabunch]

"it's a trauma response" and "it's a shitty way to treat someone" are not mutually exclusive btw ✨

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I've always wondered if you happened to have a discord? If not have you ever considered making one?

i do have one! however i use it very sparingly because 1) new people (especially groups) scare me & 2) brain's been fucking weird for a hot minute and i barely talk to people i'm already friends with let alone strangers

[nectarine-neuroticism]

on occasion, discussing pride-related things on tumblr can be impossible. some ppl (myself included) will not change their minds about things, and sometimes you just have to live with that. it is what it is.

[cherry-bomb-ships]

AAAAH I GET WHAT UR SAYING, I did not expect to get as obsessed with him as I have been so I probably should bump him up to a 2 star f/o 😭💖😭💖😭💖 In my mind the way I rank f/os is by how close to a real relationship my feelings for them are, which is why Jamie remains my only 3 star, he's legit just my husband irl 🥺💖🥺💖💖 but yeahhhhh the more and more I'm talking abt Mojo, the more I'm like "hold up this aint a joke anymore" 💀💖💀💖💀💖💀💖💀💖💀💖

(Btw meant to post this last night but I passed out as soon as I got home from work lol)

[thepinkseashell]

<3

[tri-punisher]

im so scared when i go to ask my doctor about a potential adhd diagnosis and they ask me if these symptoms have persisted since before i was 12 or whatever and i cant tell them bc i literally cant remember what i was like when i was that young+my mother's dead so she can't account for me+my dad doesn't fucking know me at all im going to be denied any further help. how am i supposed to know what i was doing when i was 12 i cant even fucking remember what i was doing last week. thats one of the goddamn problems

[bigshotdaily]

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[cicidraws]

im not well.

[beverageenthusiast]

.

[hayaku14]

hiii!! i think youve mentioned that you're not the biggest fan of receiving asks because they can be hard to respond to and i hope im not being a bother!! but id like to drop some kaishin brainrot here in ur inbox if thats alright! if not totally feel free to ignore this lol

a thought for the scrunklies... i cant stop thinking about shinichi getting affected by cases and their outcomes so i will apply this thought to kaishin: a victim who resembles kuroba in some away leaves a hard strain on shinichis heart.

kuroba doesnt know about this case, but he does pick up on the subtleties on how shinichi is way closer in proximity than usual. more cuddly, more clingy. perhaps after we could have some heist angst idk... but the thought of whatever causes the reaction isnt important. what's important is: shinichi's lips start to quiver and its unavoidable, he starts to sob in front of kuroba. heavy breathing and blotchy tears, hes clinging to kuroba with such a strong grip that it starts to physically hurt. one thing leads to another and shinichi ends up in his lap, clinging to him and quietly crying into his neck while kaito rubs his back, murming; "i love you, great detective," or "i know, i know. s'okay now..." kuroba never sees him cry so he eventually starts to silently cry too. they just end up sobbing into one another.

i need someone to envision this w me and youre the kaishin brainrot god soooo <3

WHAT?!?!? WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!!?!?!??!? Was it me? LOL.

Noooo, I LOVE asks!! Send them any time! It's not that it's hard to respond, it's just that I'm often late at replying lol so I feel bad about it but if you don't mind waiting for me to reply then ask away!!! (Speaking of, this is also kinda late I'm sorry lol ;-;)

I WILL NEVER IGNORE KAISHIN BRAINROT

AND OH MY GOD YOU SENT ME ANGSTY KAISHIN BRAINROT???? I FUCKING LOVE YOU ANON

I absolutely LOVE the idea of a case hitting a little too close to home for Shinichi. It's not just for Kaito too. There's a child kidnapping? He hangs out with the detective boys. There's a serial rapist going around that targets young women? He constantly checks up on Ran and Sonoko.

For Shinichi to break down like that though, he must've been building it up for quite a while. I can only imagine that it's an ongoing case with several victims already. All probably similar to Kaito.

Megure wants to take him off the case because he knows Kaito is his boyfriend but there's no way Shinichi is gonna stop trying to catch a criminal who's targeting people with the same profile as Kaito.

Kaito must've seen Shinichi deteriorate too. Long cases always take a toll on Shinichi but Kaito can see that this one is different. For one, Shinichi seems determined not to tell him details other than asking him to be more careful and to just take a cab if he's going home late (Kaito would’ve been insulted for the lack of faith if not for how worried and distraught Shinichi looked). There's also the increase of coffee intake, the sleepless nights. The nightmares. (Also the increase in skinship and clinginess like you said!! the image of clingy, worried, and upset shinichi is too cute i want it so much lol).

He’s clingy and attached to Kaito by the hip whenever he’s around but for some reason Shinichi can’t look at him in the eye for too long. How could he when every time he see Kaito he remembers the bloodied remains of several victims that looks like him? How could he when he isn’t even close to catching the murderer that threatens his whole world? How could he when every time he looks at Kaito’s eyes, so full of love and life, he can almost see them staring at him: unseeing, dull, and lifeless.

Shinichi is frustrated because cases that he’s involve in don’t usually last this long and for some reason it had to be a case where there’s an actual threat to the love of his life. He’s tired, upset, frustrated, and little desperate to catch this guy already cause he’s about to go out of his mind with worry.

It’s not that he doesn’t trust Kaito to take care of himself. He does. It’s what he loves about their relationship. It’s what helps him sleep at night. But being bombarded by images of lifeless bodies that resemble Kaito while helpless to actually do something about it is haunting Shinichi. He trusts Kaito, he does. But he also needs control. He has to find this guy and make sure no more harm will come to anyone else. Especially Kaito.

Maybe what triggers Shinichi's breakdown is Kaito finally confronting him about it. There’s no way Kuroba Kaito of all people would see this happening and not do an investigation of his own. Extracting information is as easy as breathing to him after all. He asks Shinichi’s friends. He digs around Division 1. He knows now why Shinichi is acting like this. But a part of him wants Shinichi to tell him himself. 

Still, Kaito would've brought it up sooner but this case was different that he was sure Shinichi would've deflected rather than communicated properly if he pushed. Kaito sees that it's gone too far though and decides to confront him. 

“Shinichi, you need to talk to me.”

“Talk about what?”

“I know about the case.”

Shinichi’s eyes widen for a second and looks away. Kaito reaches for Shinichi’s hands and squeezes.

“Shinichi, look at me.”

“Please?”

Shinichi turns to look. He’s unsure and unsteady but Kaito’s gaze holds him firmly in place. Kaito lets go of his hands to hold both of his cheeks in a gentle caress. For the first time in weeks, Shinichi lets himself sink deep into Kaito’s gaze.

“Hey,” Kaito says softly as if trying not to spook him, “I’m here. I’m safe. I promise I’ll be safe. So please? Talk to me, Shinichi.”

Like cracks on a dam, Shinichi’s eyes water. His are brows furrows deeply and his jaw shut tight in stubbornness but he holds Kaito’s gaze, not yet ready to turn away after weeks of depriving himself of deep vibrant blue. He tries to will the tears threatening to fall away but Kaito’s gaze is so warm and safe and so so alive that he couldn’t stop even if he tried.

“Oh Shinichi.” 

Kaito’s voice is soft and gentle but it pulls something deep in Shinichi. It’s too much. Shinichi’s lips quiver, closes his eyes, and finally lets his tears flow. 

And then after that is what you wrote!!! The part where Kaito wraps Shinichi in his arms and Shinichi starts sobbing and clinging onto him like a lifeline. Kaito whispering sweet nothings and reassurances that makes Shinichi hold onto him tighter. And when Shinichi chokes back his tears to whisper back, “I just...I can’t lose you, Kaito. I-I can’t,” Kaito finds himself fighting back his own tears.

AAAAHHHHH ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR THIS GOOD FUCKING FOOD <3333333

[munamania]

something that makes me feel guilty is the fact that seeing that persons face rn literally makes me angry. they walked into class and i nearly winced. and in all fairness they were quite kind to me. outside of the several kind of odd red flags. girl whatever. to be quite frank i am a horny bastard and vocal proud etc but few people interest me enough to actually want to hang out with and get to know And i have deep seated intimacy issues so it's like. we really dont have a shot unless the circumstances r exactly right on a full moon perfect thursday of a month etc like. well and tbh i probably would have fucked around with this person but i dont... care... about some big relationship w them.. and i know i could be a relationship girl like eventually i have it in me to have a muse that's what im built for i think idc but not rn... rn i need to hang out with my friends and do my film stuff and have people that maybe wanna make out sometimes is that so much to ask for. for a lesbian at a bar to want to make out perhaps. ** for there to be lesbians at the bars to potentially make out with.

[andichoseyou]

i cant believe this is happening im so so so happy 1989 holds such a special place in my heart im so happy

[todayisafridaynight]

The bookmark tag was #holder until i think of a tag for these asks but To Be Real even I forgot what it was...

BUT YEAH thanks so much for reading and I'm glad it's :] Intelligible At Least :] obviously I would be up for reading anything that came to mind after putting you and your followers through All That but understandable... A lot of people I've shown the checklist items or pointed out specific behaviors to have actually said similar [i.e. I'm In This Picture And I Don't Like It], so I totally get what you mean, too!

I think a lot of my picks wound up being generalized trauma responses/aftereffects of abuse or neglect [hence I meandered off into just talking about Jo's father half the time], so I guess it's to be expected a lot of them don't read as being CSA-specific or are broadly relatable; it's not like he's supposed to be read that way, after all. I just wasn't able to zero in on many of the more specific ones because I've Never Seen Jo In This Situation Chief I Don't Know What He Thinks About His Name Or His Body Or Mirrors Or Sex Or Affection I Don't Know How Well Or Poorly He Sleeps [Presumably Poorly Though He Has The Second-Reddest Eyes In The Whole Game]

I don't really think I'll have anything to add though unless Infinite Wealth goes off the rails or I actually continue reading the book... so that will have to do... I originally was just riffing on RGGJo's attachment issues, self-destructiveness, and specific entwinement of sexuality/aggression/romance, and his portrayal in my fic lined up pretty closely, so I thought it'd be interesting to apply the same lens to Y7Jo...

But Yeah x2 thank you for the opportunity to talk about it and I'm Glad It's Intelligible At Least x2

THANK YOU i really should change that tag to something better... <- i will immediately forget to do so like a jackass

BUT YA OF COURSE OF COURSE i was truthful when i said it was a real good read (but once again. i have -5 speech skills so i can't properly word SHIT) and was a thorough examination of jo's trauma and how it manifests in him and how it's exhibited through his actions. ALWAYS a big fan of that :)

[marblerose-rue]

click for better quality!

dog/dogkit / commission for @angeliczkaa !!

thank you so much for commissioning me! he's such a little guy <3