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itsadamcole · 4 years

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graduation day pt. 3

fem!reader x finn balor

It’s Christmas now, and Finn and reader have been able to keep their relationship on the down low for four months. That is until the faculty have a Christmas party, where no one’s secrets are safe ... “i really wanna kiss you right now”

word count: 5.3k+

warnings: a former teacher/former student relationship, drinking / being drunk, jealousy, angst, smut, a little bit of public teasing, fluff

— someone wanted a part 3 and this popped up into my head so this is for whoever wanted the part 3. y’all will finally find out where finn teaches in this part .... but part 4? —

masterlist || part 1 | part 2 | part 4 | part 5 || request an imagine here

~ 18+ content below - read at your own risk ~

“Baby,” Finn whines. “Come on. It’ll be so fun. Everyone is gonna be there. Plus, you’re part of the faculty now because ya are Ver’s assistant.”

He stands in front of you in a suit with red and green Christmas themed tie and sneakers. You love Finn, but the tie he’s wearing is ugly.

You look up at Finn and say, “I don’t think I even have anything to wear, Finn. It’s so last minute. You’re literally on your way to the party.”

Your boyfriend pouts and gives you puppy dog eyes. “Please, Y/N. Pretty please. I’ll never ask ya for something again.”

You giggle and say, “We can’t even be together at the party so why should I go? It wouldn’t be much fun for me because I have maybe two teacher friends, one of which you hate because you think he flirts with me.”

Finn says, “I don’t hate him. He just better learn how to stop flirting with my girl.”

You laugh and say, “I need like forty five minutes to get ready because you caught me off guard.” You’re in your Christmas pajamas. A red cami tank top with Santa’s face on it with red and black plaid pants. Those are your pajamas.

Finn gets happy and excited that you said you were going. You walk back into your bedroom and let Finn into your apartment. You walk to your closet to find something to wear.

You call from your room, “So, is this like a formal event or can I wear a short dress?”

Finn says, “A short dress should be fine. It’s not really formal, I just didn’t know what else to wear so I put on a suit.”

You laugh as you raid your closet.

It takes a good ten minutes before you find a dress that would be acceptable for a last-minute Christmas party.

The dress is a dark red, two piece number. The top of the dress is sparkly with a halter top. The fabric on the back is completely sheer except for the line of the zipper, which runs from the collar down to the bottom of the top. The skirt is a little poofy and ends about halfway down your thighs. The waistband of the skirt is sparkly like the top. A bit of your stomach peeks out between the top and the skirt. You wear a pair of dark red heels to match the dress.

You curl your Y/H/C colored hair and do a red and silver smokey eye look for makeup. You add a little foundation, highlight, and dark red lipstick to complete the makeup look. You put in silver earrings and a silver bracelet that Finn got you for your birthday last month.

You leave your room, walking down the hallway. Finn hears you enter the living room and he smiles when he sees you. “Wow,” he says.

Your face turns a little red and you ask, “Like it?” You do a little spin and the skirt flares out a little bit.

Finn walks over to you and says, “I love it. Ya look stunning, my love.”

You look up at Finn and ask, “So what’s the plan? We can’t walk into the party together.”

He says, “I’ve thought about that. I’m going to park in my usual parking spot. Ya will get out first and I’ll be about five minutes behind ya.”

You giggle and say, “Hm. Smart. Except everyone knows your car.”

“Exactly,” he says. “So we’re taking yours. I’ll drive.”

You blink and say, “That’s also smart.”

Finn laughs and says, “I didn’t become a professor overnight. I went though college and training in Ireland and in the United States.”

You say, “You’ve never explained to me how you became a teacher. Is it different in Ireland than it is here in the States?”

He says, “Not really. I needed my Bachelor’s degree, which I got after four years. Then I had to get a basic teaching credential, which I got after 120 hours of training. I taught in Ireland for three years, until I was 25 before I decided to come over to the States to get my Master’s degree in education, then I was offered a job here once I completed my Florida teaching certificate so I stayed and have been teaching in the States for ten years this year.”

You look up at Finn as he talks. He seems so excited when he talks about going to school in Ireland before coming to the United States to teach. It makes you so happy that he gets excited to talk about his journey from Ireland to the United States.

You wait until he’s done talking before saying, “That’s amazing. It’s crazy how long you’ve been teaching for.”

Finn smiles and says, “Yeah, it is. So, shall we head to the party?”

You nod and collect your things, and by ‘things’ you really mean your clutch, your keys, and your phone.

You and Finn leave your apartment building and the cool breeze hits you.

It’s a warm night tonight in Orlando, Florida. You and Finn will make the short drive to Full Sail University, where Finn teaches and you assist.

Finn drives your car and you play on your phone as he drives. You scroll through Twitter and Instagram.

Your phone begins to ring and you see it’s your mom. Your eyes widen and say, “Crap, I never told my mom I was coming home this Christmas.” You had a flight today but didn’t make it in time, which is why Finn showed up and asked you to come to the party.

Finn glances over at your phone to see your mom calling and he says, “What’re ya gonna say to her?”

“Well I can’t tell her the truth,” you say, answering the phone. “Hey, Mom.”

Your mom says, “Hi, honey. Where are you? You should be home by now.”

You say, “Um, yeah. I missed my flight this morning so I won’t be making it home for Christmas this year.”

“I can book you another flight if you’d like,” your mother says. “It wouldn’t be an issues.”

You internally start to panic and say, “No, it’s okay. I’ll FaceTime you, dad, and Y/S/N on Christmas morning to see everyone open presents and everything.”

Your mom says, “I’ll send yours down to you so you’ll have them before Christmas. They’ll probably be in a big box so be prepared.”

You laugh and say, “Alright, Mom. I’ll talk to you later. I’m on my way to a little get together at the school.”

“Have fun,” your mom says. “Stay safe. I love you.”

You say, “I love you too, Mom.”

She hangs up and you sigh. “Not a complete lie,” Finn says, pulling into his parking spot. You laugh.

He parks the car and he looks over at you. “You’ll be coming in a few minutes?” you ask, looking over at Finn.

Finn nods and says, “I’ll be there in about five minutes.”

You nod and say, “I’ll see you in a few minutes.” He smiles and nods before you get out of the car. You walk through the parking lot to the gym area.

In your four years as a student, you’ve heard all about the faculty Christmas parties. You’ve heard all the stories of drama that have happened at these parties. You’re hoping that nothing happens this year but you’re not holding your breath.

In the past four months, you and Finn have begun a ‘friendship’ by having lunch in the cafeteria or his office. You’ve tried to stay away from him as much as you can but it’s hard when he’s one classroom over from you.

Veronica, the teacher you’ve been assisting, has kept a close eye on you since day one. She’s very suspicious of something more than just a friendship between you and Finn because of what happened day one in Finn’s office.

You walk into the gym. Faculty members are all scattered throughout and the gym is decorated with Christmas decor. There are tables are covered with red and green covered with a Christmas themed figure in the middle. Lights and garland hang throughout the rafters. Christmas music is blaring in the large room. There’s a small dance floor section. You see a minibar in the corner. So there is alcohol, which makes you happy. You’re 23 so you can drink legally.

You ask for a Coke and vodka at the minibar before you walk around, trying to find anyone you know.

That’s when one of your professor friends comes up to you. Mr. Seth Rollins. History professor.

“Hey, Y/N,” he says, drunkenly wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “I thought you were going home for the break.”

You laugh at how drunk he already is before you say, “I was, but then I missed my flight this morning. Someone convinced me to come tonight so here I am.”

Seth smiles and says, “Well, I’m glad you’re here. Come dance with me, Y/N. Have some fun."

You look up at Seth and say, "Alright. One dance."

The two of you walk to the little dance floor area. You sway to the beat of the music with your drink in your hand. Seth makes small talk with you as the two of you dance to Santa Claus Is Coming To Town by the Jackson 5.

A few minutes pass by and you decide to start looking around for Finn. Seth notices that you're distracted and he asks, "You looking for someone? Maybe a boyfriend you invited?" Your eyes shoot to Seth when he says the word 'boyfriend'. "So it is a boyfriend. Do I know him?"

You immediately jump into defense mode and say, "No, it's not a boyfriend. I'm just looking around. I haven't met half these people."

Seth says, "Don't think I haven't seen how close you and Finn Balor are. Always in the cafeteria having lunch. It's a little weird considering that you're his former student."

You stop moving and you look at Seth. You say, "I graduated in May. It's been over seven months. I had you as my history professor in my first year. That's a little weird too."

He opens his mouth to talk and he says, "I won't deny that but you're so much closer to Finn than you are to me. Plus, Finn looks at me weird when I'm around you."

Finn does think that Seth has a thing for you. You look the same way at Veronica when she's around Finn. You two get so jealous sometimes, you won't deny that fact.

"Finn looks at everyone weird," you say. "I don't know if you've noticed that."

As your eyes scan the room, you find Finn. He's standing with Veronica and one of the other English professors, Mr. Kevin Owens. You sigh. Seth looks back to see Finn talking with Veronica and Kevin before looking back at you.

Seth says, "You're either jealous or upset that he's talking to Veronica. I heard what happened when she walked into his office on the first day. You told her off and she's been upset over that for the past four months."

You say, "I'm not surprised. She's been harassing him for a while from what I understand. He's been rejecting her."

He laughs and says, "She's been after him since she got hired. The English Department head loves her. Finn's been saying no to her for years but she won't lay off him. Everyone was shocked when you of all people said something to her."

"How many people know that I said something?" you ask, looking up at Seth.

Seth says, "A lot of people do. I think some people from all departments know what happened. It's not exactly a secret, Y/N."

You facepalm and say, "Great."

After a second, Seth says, "Oh, shit."

You look up at Seth. "What?" you ask. "What's happening?"

"Veronica is all over Finn," he says. "Kevin left and it's just the two of them. He's pushing her away from him."

You turn and look at Finn. Veronica is all over him. Kevin is walking away from them. Anger rises inside of you.

Seth says, "For someone who isn't your boyfriend, you're sure acting like he is. You look so mad, Y/N."

You look at Seth and say, "Excuse me for a second, Seth." You walk toward Finn. Your boyfriend looks over at you and says something to Veronica. She looks over at you and rolls her eyes.

Finn looks at you and says, "Y/N, nice to see ya."

"You too, Finn," you say, looking at him. "You looked like you could use some help." You look over at Veronica, glaring at her. "No offense."

She forces a smile and says, "Full offense taken."

Seth walks up beside you and asks, "Everything okay over here?"

You look at Seth then look at Finn. Veronica says, "Everything's fine. Just making polite conversation. Nothing to be worried about."

Finn is staring at Seth. In Finn's defense, Seth is standing a little too close to you for comfort.

Seth snaps his fingers and says, "Oh, Veronica, I wanted to talk to you about something so can I borrow you for a second?"

She nods and walks off with Seth. When they're out of sight, Finn takes your wrist and walks with you outside the gym. "Finn," you gasp as you walk after him. "I'm in heels. Slow down."

The two of you walk around the building and Finn looks down at you. "Why is Seth hanging around you?" he asks.

"He walked up to me," you say. "I was getting my drink and he asked me to dance. I could ask you the same question. Why is Veronica hanging around you?"

Finn says, "She walked up to me as soon as I walked into the room. It's like she was staring down the door and waiting for me to walk in. Why? Is someone jealous?" He raises his eyebrows at you.

You say, "Every chance she gets, she's all over you. I'll tell her off again, I swear to God, Finn. I will. I'll throw her across the damn room if I have to."

He laughs and says, "Stay around me tonight. I want to make sure ya don't throw her across the room."

You pout and say, "I'm not complaining about being around you but I still want to throw her across the room."

Finn leans down and pecks your lips before he says, "Relax, Y/N. Ya won't want to throw her across the room in a few minutes."

Confused, you tilt your head at Finn and ask, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"That's for me to know and for ya to find out," Finn says. "Come on. Let's head back inside before it looks suspicious that I dragged ya out here."

You nod and head back into the gym with Finn. You walk with Finn to one of the tables. He pulls out a seat for you and you sit down, scooting closer to the table with Finn's help. He sits beside you and says, "Feeling better?"

You nod again and say, "Much."

Right at that moment, Seth and Veronica walk over. Seth sits on the other side of you and Veronica sits on the other side of Finn. You sigh softly and take a large gulp of your drink.

"Everything okay?" Seth asks, seeing you take the large sip of your drink.

You say, "Everything's just peachy."

After you say that, you feel Finn's hand on your knee under the table. The red table cover hides his hand on your knee.

Finn asks, "So what did the two of you need to talk about?"

Seth replies by saying, "I was going to come by and talk about the history behind the book she's going to be assigning her class to read in a few weeks."

"What book would that be?" you ask, looking at Veronica.

She says, "The Diary of Anne Frank. We analyze that book like no tomorrow. Usually, I have one of the history professors come in and talk about the historical context behind the Holocaust and everything. Seth knew this so he asked if he could be this year's speaker."

You look at Seth and say, "Oh, really? Well, I look forward to seeing you come to class in the future."

Finn's hand slide up your thigh under it's right under your skirt. You take another sip of your drink to wash away the nerves. Finn's never touched you when you're at the school, except for the three times you've had sex in his office since graduation day last May.

Seth says, "I do as well."

You finish your drink and look at the ice in the cup. You say, "I'm going to go get another drink. I'll be right back."

You start to get up and Finn's hand slides off your thigh.

"I'll come with ya," Finn suddenly says. "I've been needing a drink myself." He stands up and walks with you to the minibar.

You ask, "What do you think you're doing, Finn? You can just put your hand on my knee like that."

Finn stands beside you at the minibar as you order another Coke and vodka. He leans down and says in your ear, "I did and I will again."

You're handed your refilled drink and look over at Finn. "You're being very touchy-feely tonight and it better stop unless you want the relationship coming out into the open."

He says, "I'm a little drunk and a little jealous that Seth can just openly flirt with ya."

"Now you know how I feel," you say, sipping your drink. "We both get a little jealous, don't we?"

Finn secretly leaves a few soft kisses to your jawline as he says, "I'll lead to some really hot, jealous sex tonight."

You giggle and say, "If you're that lucky. You won't be lucky if you keep kissing my jaw when our co-workers are around."

He smirks and says, "Touche, my love."

After the little conversation that left your core aching for Finn, you head back to the table. Clearing your throat, you sit back down.

You cross your legs under the table in case Finn gets any ideas. His hand goes back to its spot on your thigh when he's settled next to you.

You, Finn, Seth, and Veronica make small conversation.

Veronica asks, "So, Seth, have you been seeing anyone recently? Or have your eye on someone?"

Seth looks directly at you and says, "I have my eye on someone. I don't think she feels the same though."

Finn grips your thigh a bit after he slides it up a bit. You gasp and cough to cover it up. You take a sip of your drink.

"What about you, Y/N? Dating anyone or talking to anyone?" Veronica asks, eyes staring into your soul.

You say, "I'm dating someone but it's none of your business who it is."

Seth nudges me with his elbow and says, "Tell us about him. What's he like? Does he go to school here?"

You look over at Seth and say, "He's not from around here. He's from Europe. France, actually. He's home visiting his family for the holidays."

Veronica says, “Oh, wow. What’s his name?”

Quickly, a name pops into your head. “Francis Blanchet,” you say. Finn’s initials. F.B.

Finn snickers under his breath. Seth asks, “What’s so funny, Finn?”

“Nothing,” he says, pulling his phone out quickly. “Just got a funny text. That’s all.”

Veronica says, “Well, I have my eyes on someone.”

You shoot a glare as Veronica and say, “We’re all aware that you stalk Finn because you’re in love with him.”

Finn and Seth both stare at me as Veronica says, “You’re acting like you’re in love with him or something.”

I am, you think to yourself but you say out loud, “I have a boyfriend in France and Finn never told us if he was dating anyone.”

All three of you look at Finn. He looks at you and says, “I am.”

“There we go,” you say, glaring at Veronica. “Stop chasing a man who’s taken.”

Finn gets up and says, “Alright. I’m diffusing the situation before it gets too out of hand so, Y/N.” You look up at him. “Come dance with me.”

You get up and take Finn’s offered hand that he held out to you after he asked you to dance. Veronica’s jaw drops and asks, “What about me?”

“You sound like a five-year-old and you’re, what, 35?” you ask. “Grow up”

Finn walks away with you, hand in hand.

Snow in California by Ariana Grande is playing. There are a lot of pairs on the dance floor so you walk to the other side, out of sight of Seth and Veronica.

Finn takes you in his arms and you wrap your arms around his waist, both of you swaying to the music.

He’s looking down at you and you look up at him. Finn’s face is close to yours and he says, “Ya are jealous.”

You smile and say, “Maybe a little. She’s claiming you like you’re hers.”

“I’m yours, my love,” Finn says to you. “All yours. I may not show it a lot when we’re here at school but I do love ya. A lot.”

You stare up into Finn’s eyes and you say, “I really wanna kiss you right now.”

Finn’s tongue swipes over his bottom lip and he says, “I really wanna do more than just kiss ya right now. Our little conversation earlier made me a little too excited.”

You bite your lip lightly and say, “Let’s head out soon and we can go to whoever’s place is closer and you can do more than just kiss me all night long.”

He nods and says, “Ya leave in a half hour and I’ll follow behind ya after about ten minutes.”

You nod and pull yourself closer to Finn, staring up at him.

Someone clears their throat and taps you on the shoulder. You turn and see Seth Rollins. “Can I get a dance?” he asks innocently.

You look up at Finn and he has a jealous look in his eyes but he says: “Sure. Find me after, Y/N.”

He hands you over to Seth and walks off. You look up at Seth and he says, “I’m surprised that he said yes. I thought he was gonna kill me right then and there.”

You say, “He’s a little possessive of me. I mean, look around the room. I’m the youngest person in here. He just wants to make sure I’m safe.”

Seth says, “I do too, but if you were my girlfriend then I wouldn’t leave your side.”

You stare up at Seth and say, “For the last time, Finn and I aren’t-”

“Cut the bull,” he says, cutting you off. You close your mouth. “When Ver said that you were acting like you were in love with him, you muttered ‘I am’. I heard you. The way you look at him, I wish you’d look at me that way.”

Seth looks behind you and you glance behind you. Veronica is trying to kiss Finn and you look at Seth. You say, “I can’t do anything without it looking suspicious.”

Seth says, “I’ll handle it.”

He turns to walk away before you take his wrist, saying, “No. I’ll handle it. I don’t care anymore.”

You walk over to Veronica and Finn. You look at Finn and say to Veronica, “What would Finn’s girlfriend think if she found you were moving in on Finn. She's not here but imagine if she walked through that door and saw you trying to kiss her man."

Veronica looks at you before she asks, "What would your boyfriend think if you were defending Finn like you were the one dating him?"

Finn looks over at you and says, "Because she is the one dating me."

You, Seth, and Veronica all look at Finn. Finn smiles and says, "She's Finn's girlfriend." You smile when he refers to himself in the third person. "And I am head over heels for her."

He walks over to you and you stare up at him. Seth smiles behind you as Veronica says, "This is highly inappropriate. She's your former student."

"Keyword," Finn says, not looking away from me. "Former. She graduated in May, she's not my student anymore. She's just my co-worker and my girlfriend."

You giggle and say, "I am."

Finn rests his hands on my cheeks and says, "Ya said how much ya wanted to kiss me earlier. What's stopping ya now?"

You smile and say, "Nothing." Your hands fly to the back of Finn's neck and you pull him down to you. His lips crash to yours and start to move against yours. Seth claps behind you and Finn smiles against your lips.

Veronica says, "Whatever." She walks off.

Seth says, "Okay, okay. Let's not suck off each other's faces in front of everyone."

Finn pulls back and smiles down at you. You look at Seth and say, "Thanks for like not freaking out."

Seth smiles and says, “You guys are cute. I kind of suspected something day one and was waiting for the day that you guys made it public. It was also why I never made a move on Y/N even though I liked her.”

You laugh a bit and Finn says, “I think I’m starting to like ya a little more.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Seth says. “Go home and take care of that.” He motions to Finn’s hand on my butt. “I know how you two are just dying to leave so go ahead.”

Finn doesn’t waste any time in grabbing my clutch and my hand before running out the door. You laugh as you try to keep up with Finn.

***

Finn’s place is the closest to the school. He lives in a three floor Victorian house. You guess with a professors salary he can afford this on his own. You’ve been here a few times before but he likes to come to your apartment.

He parks your car in his driveway and gets out. You get out and walk into his house. Once the front door is closed, Finn’s lips connect to yours and your hands fly to his hair. You smile into the kiss and kick off your heels by the door. Finn sheds his jacket.

The two of you stumble toward the stairs. Finn’s tie comes off and you start to unbutton his shirt as you walk up the stairs.

Once up the stairs, Finn shrugs his shirt off and unzips the top of your dress. You throw the piece of clothing onto the hallway floor and Finn picks you up by your thighs.

The kiss has gotten more intense when you and Finn slip your tongues into each other’s mouths. He pins you against the hallway wall.

“Finn,” you giggle against his lips. “Your room is right upstairs.”

He says, “I can’t wait that long.”

Finn pulls off your skirt and you reach down to unbutton his jeans. He walks upstairs to the third floor and into his bedroom.

You’re dropped on the bed and he pulls off his dress pants. He kicks off his shoes before leaning down and hovering over you.

His lips are on your breasts, kissing and sucking one while his hand groping the other. You moan softly and run your fingers through Finn’s hair as he pays attention to your breasts.

You lift your hips up so your clothed core rubs against Finn’s bulge. He lets out a soft groan so you do it again. And again. Until he pins your hips to the bed.

“Relax, my love,” he says, pulling down your soaked red lace panties. “We’re gonna get there.”

You bite your lip and look up at Finn, saying, “I need you inside of me right now, Finn. Please.” Desperation is laced in your voice.

The room is dark but you know that Finn’s looking at your now fully naked body as he throws your panties to the floor. He gets himself out of his boxers and hovers back over you.

Finn pulls you close to him and kisses you. Your lips move feverishly against his as his top runs through your wet folds. You moan into the kiss.

He pushes himself into you, making you moan louder.

You love when you have sex at Finn’s house instead of your apartment because you can be as loud as you want. Your neighbors can hear you when you’re with Finn in your apartment. There’s no one around in Finn’s house.

Finn moves slowly, letting you adjust to him inside of you. You gasp and moan as he pulls back from the kiss. His lips attach to your neck and he starts thrusting harder and faster into you.

“God, Finn,” you moan, throwing your head back. “Fuck, right here.” He moves deeper into you and he grazes your g-spot with his top.

You moan loudly and your back arches off the bed. Your hands are on Finn’s back, digging your nails into his flesh.

Finn’s now kissing your jaw, panting a bit by your ear.

He mumbles, “I love you, Y/N. I love you so much.”

Finn thrusts faster and you moan, “I love you too, Finn. So much.”

The room is filled with your moans and the sound of skin slapping as Finn thrusts into you.

It takes a little bit before both of you reach your highs at the same time. You release around Finn and he releases into you. You scream Finn’s name as you climax.

Finn helps you ride out your high and kisses you messily. Both of you are breathing heavily as you come down from your highs.

He gets off of you and he says, “Come with me.” He puts on his boxers. You grab one of his shirts and put your panties on. Your legs are a little weak but you follow Finn. His hand is in yours. He pulled the blankets off the bed and he walks downstairs with you and the blankets.

“Where are we going?” you ask, walking into the living room.

Finn gets the fireplace started and you smile. He lays out the blankets in front of it and he lays down. “Come cuddle,” he says.

You giggle and lay down beside him. He wraps his arms around you and you throw your arm lazily across his waist. Your head rests on his chest and you intertwine your legs with his.

The two of you lay in front of the warm fireplace for an hour before a clock goes off.

It’s midnight. It’s Christmas Day.

Finn smiles and looks down at you. “I know we promised not to get each other anything,” he says. “But I have something for you.”

You watch as Finn gets up and grabs a little present from under his tree. The present is big enough to fit in your hand. He sits next to you and holds it out to you.

“Finn,” you say, sitting up and crossing your legs. “You didn’t have to get me anything.” You take the gift from him.

He smiles and says, “I know. Just open it.”

You smile and start to open the gift. Inside the gift wrap is a dark red velvet box. You look up at Finn and he’s smiling. Slowly, you open the box.

Inside the box is a ring with an oval diamond. You look up at Finn again and ask, “What’s this?”

Finn smiles and says, “A ring.”

“Why?” you ask as he takes the ring out of the box.

He holds it out to you and moves so he’s on one knee. Your eyes widen. “The past few months have been some of the best of my life. I love you, Y/N. More than you think. I didn’t know that when ya walked into my classroom a year ago that we’d be here. When ya came to me on graduation day and told me how ya felt, I knew that I wanted ya in my life forever. So, I’m asking ya for forever.”

You stare at the ring in Finn’s hand as he talks.

“Marry me, Y/N.”

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notebooknebula · 4 years

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Jay Conner (00:02):

Well, hello and welcome to another episode of Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner! I’m Jay Conner, the Private Money Authority, also the host of the show. And I wanna welcome you whether you’re a brand new or you’ve been following the show for some time. My lands! We’ve launched back in June, 2018, tracking fast over 300,000 downloads. Thanks to you. And I do need your help. If you find this episode to be valuable, and you can use this information in your real estate investing business, then please help me out. Let’s share this information, like share, subscribe, write, and review whether you are on iTunes or watching on YouTube or any of our other platforms. Well, here on the show, we talk all things that relate to real estate investing. We talk about how to find deals. We talk about how to fund the deals without relying on local banks, mortgage companies, or even hard money lenders.

Jay Conner (01:11):

We talk about how to sell houses, rehab houses, and how to automate your business to where you’re actually running it. And it’s not running you. But as I mentioned, I’m known as the private money authority. I became an expert on raising private money and I’m not talking about doing business with brokers. I’m talking about actually attracting hundreds of thousands and in the millions of dollars in funding, that’s got nothing to do with your credit, your verification of income, or actually even the number of deals that you’ve done. If you’re interested in getting more funding for your deals to where you never miss out on a deal because you didn’t have the money, I’ve got a free gift for you. Yes, I have got a new monthly membership that I launched that I’m going to show you how to get free access to the membership. It’s called The Private Money Academy, and on the, or in the membership twice a month, I am live on Zoom with coaching for all of the Academy members.

Jay Conner (02:11):

We’re tracking fast to a thousand members. Right now, we got about 150 members. And as a matter of fact, the next live Zoom coaching call is within the next week. So I’m going to tell you how to get in, you get the live coaching. We also put someone, one of the members in the hot seat where we analyze your business, figure out your challenges and fix your challenges to where you’re able to take your business to the next level. And we also have new content and training in the membership every month on finding, flipping, automating funding, selling, et cetera. We also cover all in the membership, all types of real estate deals. We cover single family houses, commercial land, self storage, and you name it. We got it covered. So here’s how you can take advantage of checking it out for free. Go to www.jayconner.com/trial.

Jay Conner (03:10):

Again, that’s JayConner.com/Trial. Look forward to having you live on the membership Zoom conference calls. Well now in addition to that, if you’ve been tuning in for any time, you know that here at Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner, I have amazing experts. And in fact, the guests that I have on today’s show is a good friend of mine and is a fellow member of a very top and mastermind group where we have about 120 real estate investors from all across the nation. We get together about four times a year and help each other out on our businesses. Well, let me tell you about my friend. First of all, he’s an entrepreneur with over as of today, 24 years of experience, and he has four very successful real estate investment companies.

Jay Conner (04:08):

In addition to that, my friend and I have got the same, same heart, and we’ve got a lot in common. He’s a pastor and also a founder of multiple life-changing ministries. And as of this day in the last 15 years, he has impacted and then blessed impact over 40,000 people. He’s been seen on CBN, NBC, CTN and featured in the St. Petersburg times Tampa Tribune. And he’s known as the transformation expert. In addition to that, he’s experienced his own life transformations as well, overcoming the upbringing from a broken home and his life as a drug dealer to becoming a successful entrepreneur, pastor husband, and a father. In addition to that, his spiritual breakthroughs led him out of the economic collapse and the financial collapse of 2008. And man can, I not relate to that! Took him from bankruptcy to a real estate rehabbing business, generating a seven figure annual income, again, something else that he and I have in common.

Jay Conner (05:16):

Also he, and I’ve got another yet person. That’s a mutual friend and mentor back in 2013, he co-authored a book titled Dare To Succeed with Jack Canfield, who is the co-creator of Chicken Soup For The Soul detailing in this book his personal and professional rise from the ashes, his mentors and his coaches include world renowned business leaders, authors, international speakers, such as Les Brown and also John C. Maxwell. He also is an active member contributed to the same mastermind group that he and I are a member of. Comprise, as I mentioned of nation’s elite real estate investors, beyond that he passionately believes in God’s promise of abundance and freedom, and he uses his unique strategies to help transform lives like yours by unlocking spiritual, mental, and tactical financial potential through real estate investing. He also has a very popular podcast titled The Real Estate Preacher on the podcast. He shares his successes and his failures along with his proven strategies and techniques that help build systems that work he’s proven them to work. And he does this so others like you can achieve their own seven figure incomes and their own abundance, just like him. Welcome to the show. My friend, Randy Lawrence also known as the Robo State Preacher.

Randy Lawrence (06:47):

Awesome! My brother. Good to see ya.

Jay Conner (06:49):

Good to see you too, man! Would you reach around please? And like scoop up a little energy and bring to the show to grab a little more

Randy Lawrence (06:59):

After that intro I’m ready to jump up and run around the building Man! Praise the Lord!

Jay Conner (07:04):

Randy, you’ve got quite the story, quite the backstory at one time you were a drug dealer you were bankrupt. You were like, you know, you were like slap dab in one time. And the financial collapse of 2008.

Randy Lawrence (07:19):

Yup!

Jay Conner (07:19):

So, before we get into those pieces of your story how about give us your backstory and little an overview as to.

Randy Lawrence (07:29):

Yeah

Jay Conner (07:30):

Where you’ve been in, what you went through to get you where you are now

Randy Lawrence (07:34):

For sure, man. Well, so my background, I come from, you know, a broken home parents divorced it, you know, four or five years old that kind of led to, by the time I’m in middle school, high school doing my own thing, kind of wayward with the wrong crowd, wrong group, doing the wrong things and just, you know, partying and all like that. Went on through college, got my degree in finance, minor in economics, went into the stock brokerage business right after that really kind of continued on with that same kind of money and partying lifestyle and all. And it was probably about 27 that I, you know, had had success in, in that respect, but really wasn’t fulfilled. And it was at that time that I really kind of found through reading a book Norm Miller chairman of Interstate Batteries, where it outlined about faith in God.

Randy Lawrence (08:25):

I put my trust in Christ. It really just complete 180 from my life, Got involved in the church locally and then got met my wife there. We got married and then, you know, God called me in the Ministry as well. And so I’m running a money management company that I started and then also ministering there at the church and probably around about 2003, God, just really, Has showed the power of the difference of what real estate can do versus, you know, stocks, bonds, option traditional money management. So really started focus on that. And you know, that was really the beginning of where things took off for us. We sold our money management practice in 2006 and moved out North of Tampa to start a church. And then of course that’s where we were having gone through that economic collapse that happened here in Florida.

Randy Lawrence (09:17):

And it was just quite the incredible journey because I was simultaneously pastoring the church, also running the real estate business and navigating the economic collapse that the whole country went through. So really kind of an incredible time at that moment in time.

Jay Conner (09:34):

Did you say you met your wife at church?

Randy Lawrence (09:36):

I did. You know, it’s funny. My dad always used to ride me now again, he was in North Carolina, we’d see each other, maybe once a year, talk on the phone once a week, I’d be going to the bar at happy hour after work, you know, and talk to him on the weekend. And he’s like, what’d you doing? That’s all, I’m going out with some friends at a ball game. And he’s like, man, you should go to church. I’m like go to church? He’s like, well that’s where you going to meet you a right girl. And I’m like, yeah, that’s not the kind of right girl. I want to meet, but he was right. You know? And so yeah, I was blessed to meet my beautiful wife, Sarah Jo there. And we’ve been married now 21 years coming up in October.

Jay Conner (10:16):

Did you say her name is Sarah Jo?

Randy Lawrence (10:18):

Sarah Jo? Yeah. She’s.

Jay Conner (10:20):

We got two things in common, We both met our wives or our to be wives At church.

Randy Lawrence (10:25):

Yeah.

Randy Lawrence (10:25):

And both of them have good Southern devil names. Mine’s Carol Joy,

Randy Lawrence (10:32):

Okay.

Jay Conner (10:32):

And yours is Sarah Jo, you want to know something else we got in common?

Randy Lawrence (10:36):

ah.

Jay Conner (10:36):

So in your bio in 2013, you coauthored a book with Jack Canfield named Dare To Succeed.

Randy Lawrence (10:44):

yup!

Jay Conner (10:44):

Well guess what? Two years later in 2015, I got certified as a Jack Canfield trainer by Jack Canfield.

Randy Lawrence (10:53):

Awesome. Yeah, it’s a, it’s amazing how many things, you know, it’s like the commonalities that the Lord, when you surround yourself with great people, it’s like you attract those similar qualities. And then here it is, you know, that we’ve been together through CG and the friendship there. And then now as we connect together with that further, you find all these backstories that line up with the identical things. That’s just pretty cool.

Jay Conner (11:22):

Well you know, I don’t know who came up with the idiotic idea, In my opinion, that opposites attract that’s stupid.

Randy Lawrence (11:29):

yeah.

Jay Conner (11:29):

I want to be around people. That’s like me. It’s like birds of the same feather flock together. Right?

Randy Lawrence (11:34):

For sure. Absolutely. And that’s, you know, we’re really, as you begin to have the synergies, the thinking is the same, the thinking that elevates one another and pushes each other to higher levels. That’s when I heard your intro about the monthly mentorship program, it’s like, man, that’s what people need to be a of because you know, you just, you come together with great thinking and then it inspires your thinking and then you see these actions that others are doing, or, you know, it’s just a win, win. It’s like the synergy of one plus one, it’s more like, you know, two times two equals four and then it just expansively grows, you know? And that’s the thing, man. So,

Jay Conner (12:15):

Yeah, exactly. So would you say, first of all, were you raised going to church or no?

Randy Lawrence (12:21):

I was not. You know, both my parents, you know, kind of by the time I was in middle school, I was kind of given ability to start making my own decisions and, you know, good parents, but this not focused on, you know, religion or, and again, as a broken home you know, they were just trying to do the best they could do to do their thing. And, you know, so that left me to my own accord and left them on accord. I probably connected together with the wrong group and ran with the wrong crowd and all that kind of stuff.

Jay Conner (12:53):

So I want to speak for a moment to people listening in or viewing whichever platform they’re viewing as someone or listening. My best guess is the majority of people out there like you and me went through a time in their life. The majority, not all, but a lot of people went through a time in their life or an extended time in their life that was very dark. Right? And I went through my dark time. My dark time lasted from the time I was 21 years old until I was 24 years old. And it just progressively got darker and darker and darker. Here’s my question for you. Did you have a wake up call? If so, what was it?

Randy Lawrence (13:42):

Yeah.

Randy Lawrence (13:42):

And if you did, what was it?how did you get out of it?

Randy Lawrence (13:50):

Yeah, So I was, you know, in that period for me would probably been 13 through 27. So like 14 years kind of like a Joseph in the journey, the two kind of coming out of the pit and all like that. But it was really at 27. I was helping take care of my mom. She had gone through numerous health challenges with failed back surgeries and all like that. And I had gotten a DUI charge, you know, for driving home apparently intoxicated. And again, I’m like, no, you know, that’s not the truth, but really what it was for me at that moment was it was this wake up call that here I am, 27, I’m facing the possibility of losing my license for six months. And, you know, I worked at a brokerage firm in Tampa. I lived in Seminole there with my mom helping to take care of her.

Randy Lawrence (14:43):

There were these recoveries and health things she’s going through and it just hit me like, you know, good Lord, man. I’m nowhere near where I want to be in life, cause if I lose this thing, now I’ma have to ride my bike to the 711 and maybe get a job. There not knocking people to work at 711, but that was not my aspiration. And I’m like, what I’d aspired to become and to do and achieve is nowhere near the realities. And the truth of the matter is it’s because of where I’m at in my life and the choices. And so that began to be that process to me, to see it’s like, what I’ve been doing is not the right thing. And so in short order, I laid my hands on a book, another friend of mine and I we’d started in an automotive garage and in the we sold interstate batteries.

Randy Lawrence (15:33):

And so the interstate battery salesman dropped off a book called beyond the norm. And it was about Norm Miller and his journey. I thought it was a sales success book, but it was his journey on how he came to faith in Christ. And then they became the number one battery reseller in the world and went on to such great success. And when I read that book, I’m like, that’s it, he’s got a beautiful wife, he’s got success, he’s got fulfillment. He’s in, he’s found it all in Jesus. And I’m like, wow! And I’m like, you know, Lord, if that’s true, and this is real come into my life, come into my heart, show me the direction you want me to go. And it was just like wham! This giant Volkswagen that I’ve been carrying on my shoulder for 15 years was just released. And it was just an incredible thing. And I, I knew I didn’t know what exactly happened, but I knew something happened and that my life had been changed. I could just feel it at that moment,

Jay Conner (16:31):

If you would like to follow Randy Lawrence and his story, you can follow Randy at www.TheRealEstatePreacher.com So Randy what does your, so how’d you. So when did you start in real estate? How did you get into real estate and what is your business model look like today?

Randy Lawrence (16:52):

Yeah, so we started in 2003. I bought my first multifamily property with little small duplex in 99. And you know, just really loved real estate even while I was a stockbroker and a money manager, you know I just loved real estate. And the more I looked at it, I saw the power of the returns you could generate in real estate with a really a lower adjusted beta or better risk adjusted return than what we were getting with our stock portfolios. And so it was 2003. I mean, God just really helped me to see that’s the direction. And so we bought our first small apartment complex in 2003 and began buying more properties. Now in Florida, it was a real white hot market. So it was tough to get properties. My first mentors had a several thousand doors that they own in apartments.

Randy Lawrence (17:41):

And so that had always been our focus, but you know, we probably started in five and six rehabbing houses just cause there’s so much, you know, money that could be made in that arena. And so we started building that business and also, you know, owning the small multi-families and 2008 hit. We went through the decline here in Florida you know, thankfully it was a great retooling that helped me to just learn a lot through that process. And so we came out through that process where a lot of people just left real estate. We did a huge short sale business, helped hundreds of people. And then, you know, 2011, 12, 13 started rehabbing houses again. And then 15 started focused back on large multifamily. So now to this day, kind of fast forward, we have over a hundred million dollars in apartment complexes on our commercial multifamily side. We have probably three more complexes under contract. Now we’ll buy eight more complexes next year. It’s kind of a velocity approach that we use. And then we still on the residential side buy fix and sell about 70 houses a year.

Jay Conner (18:53):

Wow! That’s quite an operation for both single family and your commercial, what size operation do you have as far as employees that are with you full time and numbers size is your team?

Randy Lawrence (19:08):

Yeah. So our internal team here in the office, we’re based in Largo, Florida, which is kind of the Tampa Bay area. We have seven employees in our internal office team. And then we have right about 28 employees that are through our multifamily side, through our management partnership so that, you know, they’re, they’re not direct report to me, but they work for our company through our management operations. So with every property that we buy, cause on the apartment side, our complexes tend to be 75 units to 200 units is the range kind of the sweet spots, probably a hundred, 110 15. And so every one of those complexes, we always have a full time manager and a full time maintenance. And so with every complex we buy that adds two more people to the mix. And then we have a regional manager that oversees them. And then one of our internal asset managers that oversee them as well

Jay Conner (20:07):

On your apartment complex projects is your business model to search for distress properties that you can fix up and get the rents raised and then turn them for a profit or what’s your business model would like, are you staying in the deal long term or what?

Randy Lawrence (20:24):

Our focus typically is about a three year hold. We look for kind of the threefold, the Holy grail, if you will, that we’re looking for the, the property that has a, you know, original type condition. So we focus on workforce type housing. So that’s people making between 30 to 60 grand, you know, real C, C plus type property. These people are, you know, typically blue collar or lower end white collar workers, you know, just good quality working Americans. They need a good place to live. So that property typically built in the seventies, early eighties, original condition on the interiors. A lot of times, a little bit of deferred maintenance, you know, where they’ve owned it, but they just haven’t really fixed it up and kept it spruced up on the outside. They’re typically, you know, keeping the cashflow and then operational areas where we can improve efficiencies.

Randy Lawrence (21:15):

Cause we have a more corporate structure, you know, large scale discounts. So with that, we’re able to go in upgrade the units so that they’re for about $3,800. We’re able to make them like new two thousands, you know, paint the cabinets, new floor, new lighting and then bring the rent because if they’re renting at 800 and the market’s at nine, it makes sense. This place is a little tired. The place is not updated. So we’re able to update the units on the turn. So that keeps cashflow consistent. It keeps us to be, you know, positive out of the gate so that we’re not running a negative. And it also is much more secure because we’ve got positive cashflow from day one. So on a hundred unit property, it takes us probably about 18 months to cycle through the rent roll, renovate the units. The first 90 days though we renovate the exterior. So it gives it a fresh pop and looks nice. So, you know, you know, the first three months you pull up on the property, looks like a new place and we’re able to start methodically working through the rent roll to improve the interiors during that time as well. And then that prepares us to be done within 24 months and then operate it for another 12 months to really improve the the T 12 and prep it ready for sale.

Scott Paton (22:37):

I think we lost Jay for a minute there, Randy. So.

Randy Lawrence (22:42):

No problem. Well then, you know, so just kind of carrying forward with our business model on it. So typically those properties, you know, we’re buying them at 85, 90, 95% occupied, and we have people that invest with us in the complex. So, you know, we’re buying a, let’s say a $10 million complex, we get a seven and a half to $8 million loan. And then that additional 2 million comes in the form of our capital as well as other people investing with us. And you know, it’s a typically like that is a three year hold period based on the model that I just share.

Scott Paton (23:18):

Cool! So I have a question that’s of interest to me, and that is, is the, if I invest in your deal or your project, is it interest that comes back or interest plus a percentage of profits? Or how does that?

Randy Lawrence (23:33):

So how it works on the majority of our properties, we have a preferred return model where you’re getting a 12% preferred return. So you get 7% paid on cashflow. So that’s a quarterly check every quarter. And then you get another 5% appreciation that is then a preferred return so that you, for example, put in a hundred grand, you’re getting 7,000 a year paid quarterly and then another 5,000 a year that’s accruing as appreciation so that when the property sold in three years, you get the hundred grand back plus another 15,000. That’s the appreciation. And then meanwhile, you were paid 21,000 through the cashflow during that three year hold period. The interesting thing with apartments too, and this is one of the greatest elements to it because you’re an actual owner in the individual apartment, you get a K1.

Randy Lawrence (24:24):

And so instead of a 10 99, you get a K1. And on that K1 because of the depreciation, you’ll get you typically on a hundred thousand, about a 40,000 depreciation loss. So you actually got 7,000 of income, but your tax statement shows you lost 40 grand. So you don’t pay any tax on that 7,000. So it really is a highly favorable and tax efficient investment vehicle.

Scott Paton (24:48):

I don’t understand why anyone would buy stocks, just listening to you right now. But Jay has returned.

Randy Lawrence (24:54):

Awesome!

Scott Paton (24:54):

I’m going to step away and make room for him right now.

Randy Lawrence (24:58):

All right. Very good.

Randy Lawrence (24:59):

So I don’t know what happened, but poof! I’m going poof I’m back

Randy Lawrence (25:05):

Yeah.

Jay Conner (25:05):

So, You may have already answered this question, Randy, but one more chance, your favorite way to find your apartment deals and how many of you got the analyze to buy one?

Randy Lawrence (25:14):

Yeah, they’re very good questions. So really, you know, we network in any market. So like if you focus on a market that you want to be in, we want to be in high growth markets cause that’s where demographics and jobs are coming. So in that market, you’re going to have typically three to five people that are the majority of the brokers that sell the big projects. Right? And so we develop a relationship with those people. They know that we’re no BS shake on it, we get it done. And with that, we’ve developed a very clear track record and a confidence. So when a deal comes that’s like, I just got an email yesterday, guys like, Hey, we’ve got an amazing property that it’s off market. The sellers looking to want to sell it. We want to get your input on it. First we get that kind of first shot at stuff that other people aren’t going to get because of the relationships we’ve developed and the performance that we’ve done in executing, you know? And so that’s really the number one strategy that is yielded the results that we’ve seen. And then currently we own 11 complexes right now just over a thousand doors. And then we have three more complexes under contract right now. That’ll bring us right to about 1400.

Jay Conner (26:34):

Awesome. And how many deals you’ve got to analyze to buy one?

Randy Lawrence (26:37):

Oh yes. That’s the question right there. So it probably is anywhere from 30 to 40, a lot of times, you know, we’ve developed a system where I have a full time acquisitions person. We have a two 10X14 double spreadsheet and he’s just going through property after property, after property. And so on a weekly basis, kind of the crap that’s on the back and it migrates to the front. So now when you get to the front page, the top 5 to 10 are right there for me to look at. And then we say, okay, dive into this one, this one, this one. And that’s a process that we’ve refined and developed so that we’re able to go through that kind of ball on, because you got to shift through the chafe, define that, you know, nugget of gold and you know, and that’s really been the key.

Randy Lawrence (27:26):

And so I think a lot of times people looking at apartments, you know, they mistake well like, Oh, well I look at this one or look at that one. And it’s like, that’s really not how it works. You’ve gotta be willing to 1, be accurate and understanding the dynamics that go into it. And then 2 have the volume ability to be able to look at a lot of deals.

Jay Conner (27:45):

Excellent. Well, Randy has been such a pleasure to have you here on the show and folks to stay connected with Randy Lawrence, go on over to his website at www.TheRealEstatePreacher.com. God bless you, Randy. Thank you so much.

Randy Lawrence (28:04):

Thank you so much, brother. You have an awesome day. God bless.

Randy Lawrence (28:07):

You too. There you have it. Folks. This wraps up another episode in show of Real Estate Investing with Jay Conner. I’m Jay Conner, The Private Money Authority wishing you all the best here’s to taking your real estate investing business to the next level. And I’ll see you on the next show!

#Jay Conner #Private Money Lender #Real Estate Business #Real Estate #Real Estate Investing #Real Estate Investor #Real Estate Profit #The Private Money Authority

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Right/Wrong - 3

I really love this kind of discussion. A real shame that I can’t do this kind of thing more frequently. My family has the same view, so there’s no point in the discussion, and my friends don’t care and it’s always super weird to bring up very serious topics, so I never really get to do this.

There is a concrete answer. However, vast majority of the people don’t want to accept it. There’s a reason why vast majority of the scientists still cling on to the theory of evolution, even though all science points away from it. Because to accept the truth would mean that what they’ve been told before were all false, and that they have to change their lifestyle. How many people are going to do that? So they don’t.

The concrete answer has been found. Technically, humans started with it when Adam was created in 4001 (ish) BC. Then people forgot it, and got corrupted so much that in 2300 (ish) BC, everything was wiped out by water and reset. The geological evidence is everywhere. And even in culture. Why is the legend of a world-wide flood in every human civilization? And around 2000-1800 (ish) BC, the concrete answer was given to us once again in a more “concrete” fashion, in the form of actual books, aka, the bible. And fast forward, we forgot it again. And now we’re waiting in the last age, for the final judgment by fire. The last age began when Israel became a physical nation again, as written in Exodus.

... And if I don’t stop this particular train of thought now, it’ll go on and on, so... heh.

The book of Leviticus handles that. It’s... incredibly boring, to be honest, because it’s ALL about laws and rules, and most of them don’t apply to us anymore. Having roughly skimmed it the first time, I don’t know the exact specifics. But I do believe that if someone owns a land (ignoring HOW they came to own it in the first place), and lets other people farm on it, there has to be an agreement that was reached. Anything that does not match the initial agreement would be wrong.

But usually, human greed tends to take over. So those who already have a lot try to get more by f*cking over the weaker ones. But just because someone stole from you, it doesn’t mean that you have to steal from them. Responding to wrongness with wrongness doesn’t make anything right. It just makes you as wrong as them.

The bible is very clear on the matter of revenge. Simply put, don’t do it. It’s not your job. Just forgive. The reason for that is because you yourself is begging for forgiveness. Roughly paraphrased and using modern currency, it’s as if you owe your boss $5 billion, and you’re begging for forgiveness and leniency. And so the boss thinks for a while and decides to absolve your debt. And then you immediately grab your coworker, who owes you $1000, and start beating him, demanding that he pays you back. What do you think the boss is going to do, seeing all that?

It’s a biblical worldview. Anyone who claims to be a Christian should have the identical view. You can’t claim to be a Christian while claiming that the bible is incorrect. It’s like trying to plant a tree after you cut off its roots and base. You also can’t claim to be a Christian while accepting other worldviews. You can’t accept the truth and falseness at the same time. There is a solid, concrete correctness. Choosing anything else or anything in between is automatically wrong. That’s how logic works. Science and logic do NOT ever conflict with the bible. Because... who made science and logic?

The scripture is a flawless, unshakable foundation in which everything must be built. All philosophy has to have the basis in that scripture, because human knowledge doesn’t come from inside YOU. It comes from the outside. People don’t learn the truth by themselves. It has to be taught. So any philosophy made by a person who just sat in his room for a while, thinking about it, is not going to be an absolute truth.

So, morality. Where did it come from. Dig deep enough, and the only possible foundation is the bible. What about other religions, you could ask. Did you know? Christianity (and Judaism) doesn’t have a starting point. It started alongside the first human. Other religions have a starting point. Like... Buddhism. Starts with Buddha in around 500 BC. What was China’s religion BEFORE that point? It’s pretty hard to trace, given how a certain emperor burned all the books and buried alive all the scholars. But then you look at the ONE thing that was retained from before that point, the Chinese letters. Analyze those, and you realize that the ancient Chinese root religion is the same as Christianity and Judaism.

Everything has a source foundation. People forget about it all the time, but it has to be there. You can’t build anything on top of just dirt. You need a solid foundation. Religion, morality, science, philosophy... they all have the same base.

That said, all this might be a lot easier to understand if you were more... math oriented? Having been a “mathie” ever since grade 2, the mathematical approach to thinking has always been easier for me. So, for mathematical viewpoint... imagine if there was no point of origin. The entire cartesian plane falls apart and the coordinate system no longer exists. A coordinate (1, 3, 5) in 3D space, just lists the distance of that point from the origin. 1 unit in the x-axis direction, 3 in y, 5 in z. So if the point of origin is not (0, 0, 0), then everything is meaningless, and nothing makes sense.

I think this is incredibly important, because most people would have the same view. But at the end of the day, empathy is irrelevant to right or wrong. Also, this might not be super obvious, but... when people lost sight of God, the amount of misery that happens... can NOT be understated. Once the theory of evolution entered the education system in the US, and so the kids lost sight of God... divorce rates skyrocketed, abortion rates skyrocketed, suicide rates skyrocketed, SAT scores plummeted, gun/knife violence in schools skyrocketed, etc.

What does the theory of evolution teach you? That humans came to existence after billions of years of killing and extinction of other species, that the “stronger race” wipes out the weaker ones, and that you, as a person, is just a random one of these humans in a random planet around a random star, in a random galaxy. Physically, your size is nothing compared to the planet, which is nothing compared to the solar system, etc. So you are less than nothing. You live around 100 years max, in a planet that’s been around for billions of years. You are less than nothing. Who cares what happens to you? Your neighbors are your competition. If you don’t beat them, they will beat you. You are only alive because you survived. And for you to survive, it’s okay to do ANYTHING.

Compared to that, what does the bible teach you? This planet was created on day 1, and was refined over 6 days total. The entirety of space was made in the 4th day at once. This planet is infinitely more significant and important than any others, because this planet is where God created life. The first man was hand-crafted and was the only creation to be made in the image of God, and was the only one ordered to have dominion over the other creatures. Adam was meant to live forever, but he kind of f*cked that up. He still lived 930 years on a planet that’s been around for 6000 years. 930/6000 is a pretty decent percentage. Even nowadays, 120 (max) out of 6000 is a significant percentage. You are, as a human, VERY important and incomparably significant to any other creature, being specially crafted on a specially crafted world. Your neighbors are those who will work with you, cooperating.

And yet, what are you taught in school?

... Man, these posts are getting long. Haha. I pretty much wrote like a Legacy chapter’s worth of text in these three posts. But there’s so much more to cover. Hahaha...

I guess if people find these boring or “offensive” (somehow) or simply don’t care, I’ll stop.

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peanutbutterisland-blog · 4 years

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Black Mafia - short story

Black Mafia- also in archives

This is a fictional story written by Owami Jackson. Leave all assumptions and expectations at the door, welcome to a world inhabited by a few and run by many.

Chapter 1- Welcome to the Mafia

It is said that a city is the representation of its people, the rougher the edges the more connected the people and non could be truer than the city of Fermount USA. It was a large industrial city, built on the backs of black Americans who had settled on the land after the emancipation act was introduced. The businesses were family owned and the community was forged together by hard labor and a deep engraved mantra for ‘fuck the man’ but this city was not backwards thinking at all, it was 1970 and the world was changing and so was the city of Fermount. Throughout 1970 to 1975 the city came alive, with buildings being erected everyday, and in time the city lit up with new opportunities, clubs, hotels, stadiums and restaurants grew over night like wild mushrooms and one family struck while the iron was hot.

With every building that was erected in Fermount the Washington family had their hands in its creation. A prominent black family that had its soul engraved in Fermount, the family was so big that they inhabited both the East and West of the city and within the inner city is where they flourished. They owned every club and large property within the inner city or at-least had their hands in it. They grew there money from organized crime in the early 60s and invested it in the city of Fermount, they had close affiliations to the Mayor and governor of Fermount and where respected and feared within the city. With such a large family there had to be a large patriarch and his name was Luis Washington or better known as Father. He was the head of the family and all operations of the family business. He was a large man who had a lot of love and was fierce when he needed too Be. With everything that he had built he was most proud of his family, his eldest son, Rahim Washington was the next in line for the family business and he loved him dearly, he had a second son Sammy Washington who was always eager to learn the business and had his fathers ferocious temper. He also had twin daughters who ran his heart, he was married to his wife Debra for over 34 years and she was the only person who could calm Freddy down, she ran everything associated with the families money, dirty or clean.

It was a night filled with excitement in the Washington family household, uncles filled the air with inappropriate chatter, drinks flowed faster than a cheap bar and all women whether old or young where in the kitchen. Rahim was in his room trying out different leather jackets and awkwardly pacing up and down the room, he was nervous and exited, he sat on the edge of his bed and waited for the call. 5 minutes later his dad knocked on his door and summoned him down stairs, he came down and everyone was waiting for him. He gave his mom and sisters a kiss and was greeted by stern handshakes by his uncles. All the males in the family got in their bus sized Cadillac's and drove in a concubine to the cities oldest cemetery in the outskirts of the city. The cemeteries silence was pierced by a loud ruckus of cars. Out came large bellied men with hard liquor in their hands all jolly which was a contrast to where they where at. They all circled around the largest tombstone in the cemetery, it was the tombstone of the first patriarch of the family, William Washington who started the family business and created a lineage of men who would do great things for the city. Rahim was brought to the front of the tombstone, he said his respects and drinks where spilled on the floor out of respect. His dad came forward with a knife, asked for Rahims right hand. Visibly nervous Rahim put out his hand. “Rahim as you do this you not only represent the family, you not only represent the great men who came before you, you not only pledge with blood your loyalty to the family, you do this for your kids and grand kids and kids after that so they can look back and learn about your bravery. This is the proudest day of my life, I am not a man of many words so I will just say God bless your journey and welcome to the mafia” his father cut his hand and Rahim let the blood drip onto his great great grandfathers tombstone, a loud cheer was heard and the family guns blasted the cold night sky, Rahim was now a member of the most notorious Mafia in the world.

Chapter 2- Family First

Autumn had come with all its orange splendor, the trees had ruffles of hazel and the roads where littered with leaves that had fallen to their death from skyscrapers of oak trees. The city of Fermount was cold all year round, even when seasons changed they really didn’t change and on this chilly day on a lonely road a black Cadillac cruised through the outskirts of the city, Rahim had just gotten his license but he had been driving cars ever since he turned 5. In the passenger seat was his best friend of almost 22 years Owen Rochester. Rahim and Owens mothers meet in the hospital while giving birth to them. They where in the same ward and development a keen friendship. Owens father was a drug addict who would hop in and out of his life. He had not seen him in about ten years and frankly he didn’t even care, Owen and his mother where considered apart of the Washington family and lived a street away from each other, birthdays, graduations, funerals and dinners where all spent together. Owen was a brother to Rahim and as much as he didn’t want to admit it Rahim saw him as a better brother to him than his own younger brother Sammy was.

“So how was the induction?” Asked Owen. “It was good” Rahim answered.

“Just good?”

“Yeah it was good what else do you want me too say”

“I don’t know you’ve been talking about this shit since you where ten years old I don’t know I’m expecting a bigger reaction than just good you know?”

“You know how dad is with this whole family shit”

“Negro I am family”

Silence held the air for a while, Unable to contain the excitement Rahim squeezed the rubber steering wheel and burst into a whole monologue about how the night went and how he was now apart of the family business. Owen knew he wouldn’t be able to keep it away from him, the family kept their business hidden from everyone including old friends but Rahim and Owens bond was so intact they shared everything together.

“So you really not doing this college thing huh?” Asked Owen.

“Don’t see how’d it help me when I’m already set you feel me?”

“I get you man, I’m not even tripping, guess I’ll have to get all this collage ass by myself “ Owen replied

“Now you know your ugly ass ain’t getting no ass”

They both laughed and talked about their love lives and how they want families in the future. They pulled into a field, everywhere you looked was just filled with green, sheep’s grazed robotically and farmers yoked bulls up and down the green sea, ploughing away harvest for the city. They drove even further into an abounded farm next to a hill, they got out the car and had a smoke

“Gets colder every time we come up here” Owen said

“Get me the fuck outta here I can’t even feel my balls” Rahim said.

“I don’t know man I’d move here” Owen said. Owen always wanted the simple life, he was never in any drama and barely had a temper. This was not to say he was not about to jump into the front lines of war if need but when it came down to it he saw himself retiring as a carpenter on a farm somewhere. Rahim had different prospects, his always been intrigued about how the world works, who had the most power and what that power could do.

“Let’s hurry up maybe if we drop 120 on the way back we’ll make it back in time for the game” Rahim said

“Isn’t Jacky Robinson on the field today?” Owen asked

“Yeap”

“That’s one bad brother, running a mud hole on all those white boys”

They both opened the doors of the back of the car, they grabbed two shovels, went to the trunk of the car, opened it up and a bloody naked man in tears was in the back. They got him out and proceeded to walk him to the top of the hill, when they got there they dug a deep enough hole to fit a man of his size in it, they removed the tape from his mouth and he started begging to be let go and ranted every prayer he could remember

“Please Rahim I’ve known you since you where a kid how can you do this to me”

“This is what happens when you steal from our clubs you fat fuck” Rahim replied

He continued to beg and plead till Owen kicked him into the hole they had dug

“Any last words old man” Owen asked

The man cried and started praying in mumbles and piss ran down his leg.

Rahim and Owen both unloaded shots from their guns, buried him and hit the road to make it back for the game.

Chapter 3- Cindy Jackson

Rahim knew how powerful his family was, every cop, jury and judge where in their pockets, every club was owned or invested by them, they had built schools and grocery stores in every part of the city and they had been apart of the rise of Fermounts industrial complex since its birth. Rahim was greeted with respected every he went whether it be clubs or coffee shops but he truly discovered the power his family held when his father asked him to tag along with him to the mayors office in the early hours of the morning. They both wore their best suits and where driven to the capital to meet the mayor. Mr Luis Washington had been dealing with the mayors of the city of Fermount ever since he was put in charge of the family business, this was nothing new to him. The mayor knew that the Washington family where involved in some illegal dealings but they kept a pampered hand on the family because of all the money they funded to the city. They got to the Mayors house in the upper scale of Fermount, it was where old money came to retire and still had a prestige to it, the Washington’s, as wealthy as they where, were still looked down upon by the upper echelon of white American liberals. Rahim sensed this when he was greeted by the mayors butler who almost seemed to refuse to give him a handshake, Rahim being the spiteful type, grabbed his hand, pulled his arm in and gave him a great big hug. The mayors house was big but not as big as the Washington’s, this alone showed the power dynamic between politics and the mafia. They where greeted by the mayor himself coming down a long flight of stairs, an elderly white man, with whisks of grey hair in a brown jersey, work pants and black shoes. Rahim stayed back and watched his father converse to the mayor about everything from family life to sports. His father introduced Rahim to the mayor, pleasantries where made with his wife and children and they all sat around the table and talked about the state of the city, later on into the evening the mayor asked Rahim and his father to join him in his office, he poured both men his prized aged whiskey and they toasted to prosperity and that the Bulldogs winning the state final.

“So Rahim your father tells me you’re apart of the family business now”

“Yessir”

“I thought you’d take a liking to politics”

“No sir, that’s way too gangster for me”

There was a slight silent stand still in the room until it was broken by the Mayors laughter.

“Listen boys we have ourselves a big problem here in the beautiful city of Fermount and we need your families help, our piping systems are beginning to rust out, now with what my team is telling me they will ride us out into late October 1980 but after that, the water will be contaminated by the rust and I don’t need to tell you how much of a mess that is, the government implements new piping every 5 years and basically swap the rusty shit underground with new rusty shit which is a waste of money for them, for us and most importantly for me”

“So what’s your proposal mayor?” Rahim asked

“I see we have a eager one here Lewi, anyways New Guinea has a large steel capital, and these mother fuckers pump out steal day and night, I was thinking you boys can go out there, gather up all that steal and bring it down here with all your connections to ports and what not, we will brand the steal tubes and chuck them underground, now because they are slightly cheaper, and I mean cheap cheap boys, we would be making a large amount of money when the government gives us the grant to put in new steel pipes for the city and even bigger money when we sell those pipes to buyers overseas which you boys have such good connections with”

“I see” Mr Luis said

“ So with all the risk that we will have to carry I’m assuming our cut will be slightly larger than yours and your partners?”

“Well I’ll have to speak to my partners about that My boy” the mayor said

Rahim had not heard anyone call his dad “a boy” and was expecting him to leap over the table and ring the mayors head till he choked out and ran out of oxygen but he knew his dad was calm and could separate business and disrespect.

They left the Mayors house at midnight and spoke about the meeting, Rahims dad told him that he would be responsible for this project and over see everything, this was the most responsibility his dad had ever given him and he did not want to let him down

3 months passed and the project was underway, Rahim, his best friend Owen and his little brother Sammy headed for New Guinea, the minute they hoped out the airport they where meet with the islands warm intense weather, nothing they had ever experienced in the cold old city of Fermount. For the past three weeks they would be delegating with the government of New Guinea and setting plans for the exporting of 67 thousand tons of steel pipes and tubing. In the day Rahim went from meeting to meeting making connections along the way and going to mines with Owen, his brother Sammy spent his time banging different prostitutes in his hotel room and going into the islands club scenes, in his mind he was there for a vacation since he felt that his father didn’t trust him with this project. Rahim and Sammy fought a lot almost on the verge of killing each other but they where family and there was nobody you could trust more than your family. On the 2nd week Rahim had had enough of the meetings and decided to go into the market to witness the vibrant culture of the island, Owen decided to stay in and only God knew where Sammy was, as he was in the fruit aisle he saw a girl with large frizzy dark hair. He walked closer and was meet with the most sculpted face of beauty he had ever seen, he offered to help her with her grocery bags. She refused at first but he persisted until she couldn’t fight anymore. As they walked to her car he asked what she was doing in New Guinea but she was dismissive of the question, when they got to the car she realized that some local criminals where trying to steel her hub caps, Rahim dropped the bag and chased after them, tripped one of the criminals and punched his face in, he was able to get away and Rahim ran back to check on the beautiful women he had left behind.

“Are you crazy you could’ve gotten hurt!” she yelled

Rahim smiled and said “So you where worried about me?”

She smiled and said

“My name is Cindy, Cindy Jackson thank you for your help”

“Nice to meet you Cindy Jackson my name is Rahim Washington”

“I’m sorry I was a bit dismissive back there I don’t really know anyone here so you know, always keep your guard up” she said

“I get that, by the tied hair bun and medical supplies I’m assuming you’re apart of the UNICEF relief aid here in beautiful New Guinea?”

She laughed and answered“yes, yes I am, and I’m assuming your some rich business man here for business purposes”

“You can say something like that, so when you’re not saving kids where do you like to have fun”

“Well I’m going to the beach party at about 7, I don’t know if you’ll be there”

“Trust me, anywhere you are I’ll always be there”

They meet later on that evening at the beach party and Rahim introduced him to Owen. They danced and drank the whole night, the next day they walked around the plaza together and talked about everything

“So I’m leaving next week and you’re pretty busy here so when will I see you again” Rahim asked

“I’m leaving in 5 weeks and going back to school in Texas”

“So we’ll meet in Texas then?”

“Wait you’d actually come to Texas just for lil old me”

“Ma’am where ever you go from this point on I will follow till death”

She gave him her address and phone number and after a successful first meeting in New Guinea the boys jumped onto a flight back to the cold embrace of the city of Fermount. 5 weeks passed and Rahim flew to Texas to meet Cindy, they meet at a cafè and before they could say anything Rahim kissed her infront of the whole café.

“Well that’s one hell of a first kiss Mr Washington”

“It thought we should skip the small talk you know?”

They spent the summer together switching from Texas and Fermount, they meet each others families and in the summer of 1978 Rahim proposed to Cindy in her hometown and they moved to Fermount to start their lives together.

Chapter 4- We own this town

Houston Texas is bigger than the church hats mothers and aunties wear every Sunday in this deeply cultural piece of America. Everything is designed to pull you in like a gravitational force, the word subtle is not known in Houston. The restaurants and diners have food that would feed a whole village, the roads are wider to make way for every 20 year olds pimped out Cadillac. The women are chiseled from Gods personal special chisel, never lacking frame or body, it’s as if They were designed just to be looked at. There are churches in every corner of the town and the sun bullies the sky 20 hours of the day. Rahim always found it weird that Cindy would come from such a bombastic state. She was timid and slender, she never said a lot and when she did her voice was softer than the rustling leaves in the fall but her eyes held all the attitude that the state came with. She could look at you for a second and draw your attention from a mile away, she had the most generous heart it was almost bigger than her frizzy dark hair. Rahim had fallen in love with her all over again when he saw her walk down the aisle. The wedding came with all the dramatics of a church charity function, flights where delayed, uncles came from each direction with tales of their conquest and hard bottles of liquor, The Washington family alone came with about 200 people, each flying down from Fermount or driving. Weddings, baptisms and funerals where compulsory for the family and this was no ordinary wedding, it was the wedding of the future Patriarch of the family. Fermount was too cold to have such a joyous celebration and whether Rahim liked it or not Cindy held all the power of where the wedding was gonna take place. It took 7 months of planning and all the money invested into it you would think they where building a new club but this had to be huge, the Washington’s believed that a man only gets married once. The wedding drew mayors, delegates, owners of banks in both Houston and Fermount, baseball players and mobsters from all around the country. It was a 3 day festival with enough alcohol to fill the Nile and enough food to feed two starving countries. After the wedding Cindy and Rahim headed to Fermount where a 8 room mansion was eating for them, bought of-course by the Washington’s, 3 cars and even a liltle puppy, life was blissful.

Winter had hit Fermount and it was colder than ever, the lake had frozen over, the trees where naked and everybody was inside. Not the mob though, trucks still moved city to city, clubs still operated and Rahim was busy delegating the implementation of putting in new metal tubes in the city. It was 3 years since Rahim stepped foot in New Guinea and it seemed like the project took years to get started but they where at the final stretch and money flooded in like well.. a flood. It was 7:30 in the evening and Rahim had just got back home. He shouted Cindys name and she answered, she was in the kitchen, Cindy was a genius in the kitchen. She spent her day working as a doctor in Fermounts top ranked private hospital and her nights going on romantic adventures with Rahim, He loved the fact that she was an all round working women. All the women he was used too including his mother had only been housewives. Rahim would get home, change, help Cindy in the kitchen and they would have diner and talk about the day and listen to records near the fire place with a glass of wine. Rahim was planning to do just that but as he was about to give Cindy a kiss he got a call, he went into the living room and picked up the telephone, it was his dad. His father never called unless it was something about business or family. Rahim knew it was important by the sound of his dads voice, he could always tell his dads mood by the sound of his voice and his dad was worried. He grabbed another leather jacket and leather gloves and jumped into his car. The house he grew up in was just a 15 minute drive. He got there in record time , kissed and hugged his mother and sisters, his brother was watching the reruns of the game, he was about to head out as well, they nodded at each other

“Where’s dad?”

“Where he always is”

Rahim went down to the office and found his dad in a dimly lit room smoking on a cigar.

“Hey pops”

“Hey, Rahim”

They gave each other a hug and took a seat

“How’s the wife?”

“You know still giving me orders”

Mr Washington laughed

“I’m waiting for my grandkids Rahim”

“I’m working on it dad”

“You better, I have a lot of spoiling to do before I leave this earth”

“You’ll be here for a long time old man”

They both took a sip of whiskey and with a heavy sigh Mr Washington reveled that his brother has been stealing from the family And selling critical information to the FBI.

“I can’t do it Rah, he’s my brother”

“Have you told anyone else”

“Only your mom knows”

“Fuck! His my uncle pops”

“I know”

“So you want me to off him”

“No! He’s family, he’s my brother, I’ll need you to take those brief cases, they have 500 thousand dollars, tell him to leave this city and never look back, he knows his family will be safe”

“I got you”

Rahim got in the car and decided to do it in the same night so he could get the weight off his shoulders, while driving to his uncles house he couldn’t believe that his uncle would do that, his own flesh and blood. He could see how broken his dad was, while Rahim went to deliver the news and brief cases to his uncle his dad went to the baptist church house, he always went at this time, he would just sit at the back of the church, say a little prayer and go back home, he believed he had done to many evil things to sit any closer. Rahim got to his uncles house greeted all his nephews and asked his uncle if they could take a drive around the block for some liquor cause he felt disrespectful coming into the house with nothing in his hands, he also didn’t want to tell him the news where anybody could get the chance of hearing. They went to the local liquor store, and when they came back into the car, before he could start the car he told him why he came to see him

“You dare accuse me of betraying the family you little shit stick”

“Dad sent me here Unc”

“Tell my fucking brother to come see me himself and not send his little fuck head of a son too send me a message”

“You broke him Unc, you broke us”

The car was silent until Rahims uncle asked

“So is that why you’re here with that briefcase, you want me to leave my family”

“We’ll give you time to say goodbye but you have to leave before the rest of the family hears about this”

“All the shit I did for this fucked up family and this is how you thank me! I gave my heart into this business, before you could even walk I was in the front lines of war and what do I get, FUCKING NOTHING! Your father does deals with presidents and what do I get nothing no appreciation no reward, I just want what’s mine”

A tear dropped from Rahim’s eye, he knew where this was heading,he knew that his Uncle was stubborn and this would end bad. His uncles voice turned raspy and he started crying

“I just wanted my share Rahim, I’m not going anywhere, I rather die than run away like a coward, they got the drop on us Rahim, you think all this fancy shit comes without a price, this car, your house our whole lives are built on the blood of our enemy’s, and I’m not going to go down without a fucking price, I need to go”

As he grabbed the door handle, Rahim held his shoulder and told him he can’t leave

“You think I’m gonna listen to you Rah”

His uncle took out his pistol and pointed it at Rahim

“Let me go Rah”

“Family first unc, family first”

With a quick motion, Rahim drew his gun and shot his uncle in the stomach, his mouth open in shock and tears coming down his face he drove back to his dads house, ran passed the living room and collapsed on the couch in tears, he told his dad what had happened and he burst out in tears. His mom came down and saw her son on the floor drenched in blood and her husband in tears and knew exactly what had happened. Rahim kept on saying he was sorry to his dad, his dad came back to his senses , asked Rahim where the body was and Rahim told him that he was in his trunk, he grabbed his jacket and his mom gave Rahim a kiss and told him it was all going to be okay, they drove to the local bar they owned, it was about to close and the owner, a close family friend was about to lock the door when Rahim and Mr Washington suddenly burst in, they told him the story and without hesitation he agreed to help, they layed his body next to the bar and staged it as a hit. Rahims dad told him to go back home and everything was going to be okay, he could not stop repeating the words “I’m sorry”. He drove back home and fell to his knees at the door, Cindy came down and helped into the shower, washed the blood from his body while Rahim told her what happened , she knew Rahims family was involved in the mob life but this was her first encounter with the seeds that the mob life had sworn, she grabbed his clothes and threw them in a fire and held Rahim the whole night.

As expected the next day the whole family was in awe when they heard the news, retribution had to be delivered, Mr Luis paid a hefty amount of money to another mob family to take responsibility for the hit and to sacrifice one of their men for retribution. For the next few months Rahim had nightmares and held a guilt that took over his days and nights. Cindy was there right by his side throughout the whole way. They decided to take a vacation to Rio and when they came back Rahim seemed to have left his guilt in the warm waters of Rio and came back ready for business

A new mayor had taken seat in Fermount and he had a no nonsense tolerance to crime. He worked with the government in stopping organized crime and had set out an investigation for the new metal pipes in Fermount. This was going to take a lot of money out of a lot of important peoples pockets and the family had no choice but to assassinate the mayor but they had two problems, if they did chose to assassinate the mayor they would start a war with the US government who was on their tale but for the latter part of the years has kept a distant leash on them, the family had the backing of men who only saw money so they could handle a war with the US government but the other problem was financial backing from banks, and even though they had investments in most of the cities banks, the government could stop all that cash flow. After numerous meetings with the family, delegates and dirty politicians they decided to go ahead with the plan. High investors decided to pay the family 20 million each as insurance that if the US did fledge out a war, their investment and money would stay intact, if the US didn’t start a war, which was unlikely, they would give back the money.

Mr Luis gave the job to his son Rahim. Rahim asked if he could take Owen and because Owen knew about the inner dealings of the family his dad agreed agreed, Rahims brother Sammy had left for Paris and did not tell any of his family members, atleast they knew where he was this time. Before he left for the job Rahims dad gave him a hug

“You know you get older everyday I see you Rah”

“Not as old as you old man”

They both smiled

“I wish your brother had as much love as you do for me”

“Don’t worry dad his just going through a phase”

“I guess so, Rahim never forget that we are not rich because money and jewels alone but we are rich because of knowledge, with the right information we can bring a country to its knees”

He gave him a kiss on his forehead which was weird cause he never showed any affection. He only gave kisses to his wife and daughters.

“Oh pops I have something to tell you, uhm I was gonna save it for the family dinner but..”

“Then save it for the family dinner Rah, we’ve got a job to do”

Rahim and Owen waited outside the country club where the mayor played golf from 2 to 3pm, after that he took a drive to the barbers spot to get a shave and catch up with his father who was the owner of the establishment, after his golfing session they followed him to the barbershop, they took out their ski masks from the glove compartment and AK47s from the trunk of Rahims car and walked towards the window of barber shop and let all rounds go, glass and bloody bodies where on the floor, Rahim walked into the barber shop, looked the mayor in the eyes while he was on the floor trying to clench his fathers body and shot him dead.

They came back home ready to tell the family of the successful mission only to find a large fleet of cars at the family home, Rahim ran into the house and found out his dad had collapsed from a heart attack and had died. Every man and women had tears in their eyes. Rahim had cried out all his tears for a day and knew he needed to be there for his family.

The funeral was the biggest the city had ever seen, bigger than the mayors funeral, the government was on the family’s tale closer than ever before but that had to wait for now, mobsters and gangsters from around the world came to the funeral. If felt as if the president of the United States was being laid to rest. Rahim delegated the whole funeral, every flower in the city was thrown into Mr Luis Washington’s grave, speeches from Delegates and diplomats from around the world pierced the cold air and food was served to feed the whole city. Throughout the whole funeral Cindy stood besides Rahim and his mother, he went to say a few words with his wife Cindy in his hands.

“Goodbye old man, we’ll meet each other again, and I can’t wait for you to meet your grandson, I love you”

A few days after the funeral, Rahim was brought into a room with all the males of the family, all the investors of the family and all the mobsters of the city, he was being inducted to being the new leader of the family and family business. He walked to the head of the family, raised his glass of whiskey and said

“To the family”.

Chapter 5- From Russia with love

It seems every hospital has the same cold air rushing through it, the same bland light blue textiles and blinding florescent lights. It’s a place designed for anxiety and for being uncomfortable, but the Fermount Saint Private hospital was in for a rude awakening. The Washington family flooded the entire top floor maternity ward With leather jackets, southern brute accents, wails from toddlers, chatter from Aunties and mothers and silent prayers from every grandmother that was there. Every doctor or nurse that walked by was harassed by endless questions that they had no jurisdiction answering. The walls swelled with belly carrying males with expensive clothes and pungent cigar aromas. The top ranked maternity ward in Fermount had now been turnt into the Washington family reunion. Rahim came bursting through the door with a face mask on, blue scrubs and gloves, after a second of silence Uncle Elijah finally asked

“Well boy, spill it”

“It’s a boy” Rahim answered.

Everybody in the ward cheered, mothers sang, and uncles shook hands as if they had broken a new millionaire dollar deal. Rahims mother walked towards him and kissed him on the check and said “Your father would be proud of you Rah” even Rahims brother Sammy came over to give him a handshake and a warm head nod.

It wasn’t minutes till the entire family trickled into Cindy’s hospital room to get a glance of the baby, mothers came in first, then Cindys family and some of Rahims uncles. Owen came in the room kissed Cindy on the forehead and gave his friend who he had grown up with and just watched turn into a dad a great ol hug. They decided to name the child after Rahims dad to honor his name.

The baby was greeted with a convoy of cars all hooting in tune, food was prepared as if it was a wedding or a great fest, in all sense of the matter, it was. After Mr Luis Washington’s death the family needed something new to celebrate, Rahim had taken over fully, only taking delegation from his mother, wife, Owen and Uncle Elijah Uncle Thomas who had guided Rahim into the big seat he had taken over. He had met all the big names he had only heard about in meetings and they all accepted him with warm arms, he knew that as long as he did a good job everyones pockets would be full. Since the government was behind their tail ever since the mayors death they had to operate all legal business only and lease or pause all illegal business but even that didn’t deter the government. They sent sanctions to every Washington owned asset , clubs, houses, cars, banks and new building projects. Rahim knew they couldn’t win a silent financial war. He knew at some point they would need aggression to either scare or hold of the government. So After 3 months of being home with Cindy and the baby. Rahim took Owen, Uncle Elijah and Thomas and his brother Sammy to Russia to negotiate a weapons deal Incase things went sour for the family. When they got there they wasted no time. The President of Russia invited them for dinner. The dining hall was full of deep colored tapestry and wild animal heads. After a dinner with jokes and impromptu Russian lessons they went to the president’s bunker to talk about why they where there. Russia was gearing up for a Cold War with the US and as far as they knew it, if the US could have a civil war it would be better for them but they needed assurance before striking an arms deal with the Washington family so they decided to give the Russians half of their crucial assets, mostly banks and government information they had acquired over the years.

More than ever the war was closer than it had ever been, the US had always had a vendetta with the Washington family and their power but now that envy would be put to the test and Rahim needed to make sure his family was safe, even if they lost.

Chapter 6- Cape of good fear

It is said that while the world sleeps, America watches it sleep. As soon as Rahim, Uncle Elijah and Thomas, Owen and Sammy set foot back on American soil, word had spread that the Washington family had made their way to Russia to negotiate an arms deal. This came to no surprise to Rahim because he knew that they where under immense pressure under the eyes of the government. In fact this is why he chose Russia. There are many countries that would agree to an arms deal but Russia was America’s biggest enemy and with the middle stages of the Cold War, it was bound to ruffle up some feathers. With this move Rahim put The Washington family in the four front of history. The US acted quick, by the end of the week it had already smeared the Washington family name in the press and used the only power it had, money and corruption. They seized all assists the Washington family had with ridiculous warrants and permits. Rahim knew that he was in the end game now. So he set up a meeting with the family delegates, elders and mob bosses from around the word. They all gathered in an underground bunker space in the towns baseball stadium that the Washington family had helped build a few years ago. As far as he knew it everyone’s house was already bugged so they needed somewhere neutral to congregate. The room was full of hazy grey smoke, the atmosphere of the room was heavy, all men in this room had something to loose and they all counted on Rahim to keep that. Rahim walked in the room with a butterscotch trench coat with black leather gloves and heavy winter boots. He took his seat and greeted all the men that where there.

“Gentlemen, as you know we don’t have enough time we need to strike with action, I am not here to waste your time and I am not here to cover my ass”

“Seems like your ass is blasted all over the newspaper every single day Rahim” one of the men shouted. Rahim wanted to respond disrespectfully, in fact he wanted to shoot the man right in-front of everybody but the man who made that jittery statement was the owner of the United States pharmaceutical industry. These men literally funded America and had ties to the mob. This was not a meeting with his drunk uncles or petty criminal bar meetings, every man in this room, with a flick of a button could shut down the United States and Rahim knew the stakes.

“I know that Mr Johnson, this is why we are here to fix that” Rahim him replied

“Now, the United States has a problem with the Washington family, and since you are all tied to the Washington family they have a problem with you. I am here to tell you that this will not end pretty gentlemen. Men will be lost and money will follow. Now my job is making sure that money is not taken out of your pockets, yes this will be a bloody war but it will be a war designed to look bigger than it is”

They whole room perched eagerly to hear Rahims proposition

“We will strike war with the US government, but we will use the backing and power of mother Russia, now if we sell this properly to the media it will seem as if a US family made ties with Russia and decided to take down the government. And since Americans love their country so much and hate Russia and black people it will polarize all the other shit that we are doing on the side, but with this I will need your full cooperation, you have my word that money will return to your pockets and Business will run as usual but I need the word and trust of every man in this room, to stand by this family as we have stood behind you all these years. We will strike as soon as we can so focus is directly on us, the family. Till then I will need you to freeze all assets so that nothing is traced back to you, now obviously we know the government has been following us for years and know who we work with but removing all traceable evidence will make them look like fucking loons when they make these accusations, there will be no hard proof. We will set up mini hot spots where they can catch us and have a field day in the media while they suck each other off, yes we will loose a considerable amount of money but that will give us enough time for the Russian Calvary to strong hold the US and ultimately make a deal with us”

“And you sure this will work?” A heavy built gentleman in the back asked

“Sir this is the only option we have to keep the United States alive”

To keep a low cover Rahim decided to take Cindy and the baby, Owen and his family, his mother and brother to Cape Town South African. He had a vacation home there and he wanted his family especially his wife to get out of the toxic environment that they had ended up in. Rahim took early walks in the open wine fields with an elderly farmer named Abè who was a family friend, his farm imported 80% of the wine in the United States.

“You know Mr Abè this place is so beautiful I wouldn’t mind living and dying here”

“Mr Washington if I may be frank with you, you will not die here”

“Why do you suppose that Mr Abè, do you think I’m not worthy to die in a beautiful place like this?”

“You are a soldier, your daddy was a soldier and his papa before that, ever since I’ve known your family all the men have died in cold places. This is not because you are not worthy, it is because you are a soldier! You make way for your family to live and die in paradise, this is your calling. You where forged in fire It is a thankless job and an even bitter death but I believe if you where to chose to die in paradise or die in the field of war for your family, you would ask me where the battle field was”

“The battlefield is looking clearer to me every day Mr Abè”

“I know Mr Washington, I know”

Chapter 7- The world needs you Mr Washington.

Rahim had cleansed himself of the guilt of going to war for his family in Cape Town and had come back to American with a clear mind and even clearer intentions. If this was going to be the families time to be introduced into the world, it would be a monumental introduction. When he got back home he received a phone call, he picked it up and it was the one and only, President of the United States. He invited Rahim to the a White House for a meeting. Rahim didn’t know what to say. He knew he was in the big leagues but he didn’t know he would be speaking to the leader of the free world in person. He told his family and they where worried that it was a set up but Rahim knew that if they wanted to make a hit they would have done it already. Later that week he went to his fathers grave with Owen, he stayed in the car as Rahim went to speak to his dad

“Hey pops, I know it’s been a while. Just needed the courage to come see you again. Anyway, the family is doing good. Your brothers are crazy as usual, ready to die on the sword for the family, mom is doing better. She’s worried about everyone but herself, if you can just let her know that she’s doing the best she can. We have a war in our hands pops. All the greedy men who took opportunities from our people not so long ago are afraid of us now, we have a meeting with the President of the Fucking United States. Look I know things are not gonna end up pretty but I wanted to let you know that everywhere I go I hold the family name high. You’ve done such a good job pops. Thank you, I ask that you guide me as I enter unknown territory. I love you”

The next day Rahim took a private plane to Washington DC to meet the President. He walked into the White House and knew they where in too deep, but he was the first Black man from Fermount to step foot in the White House. He was greeted by the President who had a huge smile when he saw him, it wasn’t warm, he had been around enough gangsters to know when a person wants something from you. They entered the office and began making small talk, after a few minutes the President looked at him and said

“You’re not scared are you?”

“Excuse me?” Rahim asked

“I came into this meeting thinking that you’d see how deep in the water you’ve swam into and would want to forfeit or break a deal but you want this don’t you?”

“Mr President, this is deeper than me, many men before me where stripped of opportunities, land, names and basic human dignity, to build this beautiful country and for me to throw that away now, when we’re at the last quarter would be a shame”

“It is a beautiful country isn’t it Mr Washington? we wouldn’t want the beautiful people in it to worry about it now would we?”

“I said it was a beautiful country, nothing bout its people”

“Be that as it may, you know we have enemies that would like to see this country fall and rumor around the farm is that you’re ur in cahoots with those evil people Mr Washington”

“Well that depends, where are the rumors coming from Mr President?”

“The chickens are clucking Mr Washington, now this is simple we can go ahead with this in which I guarantee we will win and not only win but make an example out of you and your family or you can relinquish all “power” you have, I give you 2 days to say bye to your family and lock you up for the remainder of your days, and the way I see it, you don’t have that much left”

“Well Mr President I suggest you strap your boots up, it’s about to be a cold winter”.

Rahim came back home took a hot bath, went into his sons play room where Cindy was playing with him. He kneeled down and hugged Them both, Cindy grabbed his head slouched on the floor with him and kissed him, she didn’t need to know how the meeting went. She knew the time had come.

Chapter 8- Too much Power

It was weirdly calm in the Washington household. Mrs Debra was handing out sweets to the kid’s running up and down the house, the wives where gossiping about what they thought was going to happen in the kitchen, and the men of the family where outside the yard around the fire. Rahim came in the house late with Cindy and their son, he had stopped to get more liquor and presents for his mom.

“Sammy can you help Owen with the shit in the car, his outside”

Rahim proceeded to hug and kiss everyone in the kitchen, the living room, the dining room and finally the fireplace. When the food was ready Mrs Debra called everyone in the dining room, Rahim was put at the head of the table. There was so much food it felt like it would fall off the table, when everyone had stuffed food to the rim of their plate Rahim stood up with his whiskey glass to make a toast.

“Family, we’ve Always stood firm against the storm of evil souls that have tried to destroy this family, as I look at you I see the generations that our ancestors helped build, look at us, beautiful as can be, intelligent as can be, wealthy as can be. And all this came with hard work, from each and everyone of you. I just wanted to thank you. For being what you where meant to be, Beautiful, well except for Sammy...I’m just joking”

The rest of the night was filled with laughter and reminiscent chatter, photo albums where open, Motown jams serenaded the atmosphere and children danced for hundred dollar bills. The next day Rahim took Cindy to the hair salon uptown.

“Ayt baby I’m just swinging to the hardware store for the drill and I’ll pick you up in an hour”

“See you soon Mr Washington”

They kissed and Rahim was off to the hardware store, he decided to spend an extra twenty minutes just glancing at things he was not going to buy, this was better than chatting about future baby plans with the ladies of Cindy’s salon. As he turned the corner into the road the salon was in he saw Cindy already outside talking to one of the shop vendors. He also saw a black car across the road from Cindy opening its windows. A silver pistol poked out the window and fired 7 shots, Cindy fell to the floor, opened her bag and fired 3 shots herself. Rahim sped his car but the the car sped across the intersection and had left a trail of cars jumping into the wrong lane. Rahim quickly came out of his car and ran to Where Cindy was. His heart felt like it would beat a hole out of his chest, tears already streamed down his face, he fell to the floor next to her.

“Baby are you okay! Are you hurt! Where did they get you!”

“I’m okay I’m okay”

Rahim helped her up and patted her body like a mad man to check for blood but she was okay. They rushed quickly into the car and sped to get home. Cindy rushed into the house and hugged her son and Rahim held them both. Later that afternoon Rahim sat by the fire with a glass of whiskey and a cigar. He knew that the government would attack but this was sloppy of them, they wouldn’t do it like this and even if they did want to send a message it would be more direct. He figured that one of the mobs had sold out. His head kept on seeing the silver gun that popped out the window of the car. The more he thought about it the more it came to him that he had seen that gun, numerous times, in fact his seen that gun ever since he was 17. He rushed up to his room, put on his trench coat and jumped into his car, he sped to Owens house and told him what had happened, Owen grabbed his gun and jumped in the car with Rahim, they drove to Sammy’s house, Sammy saw Rahim’s car and ran straight into the garage into his car. He backed up the drive way and before he could make a turn to speed off Rahim’s car rammed into his door pushing it against the wall. When the smoke cleared Rahim pulled Sammy out of the car and into his trunk, they drove to the harbor and dumped Sammy into an empty space used for wrecked boat parts and broken cargo containers. Owen stood behind Sammy pointing a gun at him and Rahim took a chair and sat infront of him.

“Now I know you’re a stupid mother fucker but this stupid Sammy, this fucking stupid! You’d turn your back against the family? Huh!”

“What fucking family Rah? Ever since I was born I’ve been pushed out of this family”

“Shut the fuck up, you chose to do that Sammy, not anyone of us. it was you, you play this wounded dog act to gain sympathy and even when you do get the sympathy you grovel for it’s still never enough”

“Fuck you Rah”

“My wife Sammy, you where the best man in my wedding man”

“I don’t give a fuck about you Rah, your little make shift brother here Owen, this family or that bitch you call a wife”

“You know, as I was driving here I thought of ways of killing you and to be honest, I didn’t have any, I realized I ran out of em, ever since we where young I’ve thought about killing you and I realized I’ve finally ran out of ideas cause I ran through them all, so I’m not gonna kill you Sammy. You’re still my brother. What you gonna do now is hop into that boat, it’s gonna take you to county island where you will hop into an aero plane that will fly you to Spain, to the worlds top ranked disability and injured rehabilitation center where you will spend out the rest of your miserable life, you’ll call mom every week and tell her nothing of what you did or what happened, tell her you couldn’t stand being in the family anymore or whatever pitiful shit you can muster up your ass this time”

“Why the fuck would I go to a disability center in fucking Spain”

“Because Sammy, when we’re done with you, you’d wish that we killed you”

Owen grabbed a chain saw and gave it to Rahim, Owen then singled three men into the room and they rolled a table into the center of room. They pinned a screaming Sammy onto the table.

“So I cut right into the born doc?” Rahim asked one of the men

“Yeap, he’ll feel everything we just have to make sure he doesn’t bleed out and stays conscious”

Sammy cried and pleaded with Rahim, he screamed for help but only heard his own echo and the motor of the chain saw, Rahim cut Into the flesh of Sammy’s legs, blood splattered in every direction, Sammy’s cries could be heard from the end of the world, Rahim slashed and cut both Sammy’s legs, he put down the chain saw, looked at the agony on his brothers face, looked backed at the chain saw and asked the doctor

“Can we cut his hands aswell?”

Sammy, leg less and armless was then put into a boat with medical equipment to keep him alive. Rahim had taken the one thing that Sammy used his whole life, his freedom and without that he was good as dead. as the boat disappeared into the dark blue waters Rahim gazed on it with tears in his eyes, and a pool of blood drenched on his body. Owen put his hand on Rahims shoulders and said

“It’s time to go home man”

The US governments had sent their first shot and used Rahims own flesh and blood. He knew that they would play dirty but this was a hit he was not expecting. He gathered up all his family members and sent them into different parts of the world, the Washington family had friends in every part of the world, they also had money invested in every part of the world so it wasn’t hard to pack everyone up. He flew his mother, Cindy and his son, uncle Thomas and Elijah and Owens wife and kids to South Africa in Abè’s estate. He then made a call to Russians to send down fire arms. Within 5 days they where packed and delivered to the Fermount boat harbor. Rahim ordered bombs to be set off in the heart of the United States, Washington DC. On March 2nd 1987 the first civil attack by the Washington family was felt the world over, twelve thousand people in the senate where killed as the US presidency held their annual democratic state meeting. News traveled fast of how a terrorist family had shaken the very foundations of the United States. The president called for an immediate call of action to stop the Washington family. Rahim knew that they needed more help from Russia but when he called the president he told Rahim what the US had done, the US government knew that the Washington family was getting backing from Russia so they promised to send a nuclear bomb if they didn’t stop working with the Washington family as they would have grounds to consider Russia as an accomplice to US terrorist attacks.

The US army and Federal Bureau of investigations took to the city of Fermount to find and kill Rahim, he knew that they would eventually catch him so he decided to meet his family in South Africa, and fly with them to Alaska. As he loaded his getaway truck with Owen, US soldiers burst into his yard, they had gotten through the heavy guarded gates and made a B line for the drive way. Rahim and Owen Took the underground get away bunker, a bullet hit Owens legs and he fell to the floor. Rahim tried to pick him up as they made it out the bunker into the exit to the woods. But Owen had lost a lot of blood, He couldn’t continue anymore, with tears in Rahim’s s face he pushed to carry Owen and fell to the floor. Rahim screamed and used all his might to try pick him up but they were slowing down. Owen grabbed his friends hand and said “it’s okay”

“No man I can pick you up don’t fucking give up on me Owen”

“Mate we can’t do this, you need to go, we’ve made it this far man this is where our journey ends”

“No Owen please” tears flowed down Rahim’s face and it felt like he was crying out his soul.

“Listen, tell Elizabeth I love her man, tell my kids about me everyday and tell them that daddy loves them with all his heart, take care of my kids man, take care of my fucking kids Rah, please man”

“You have my word brother, I love you”

Rahim kissed Owens hand, got up, looked back one more, nodded his head and said goodbye to his friend”

Owen took out his gun and put it to the temple of his head.

As Rahim ran through the woods he heard a bang, stopped, looked back for a second and continued to run.

Chapter 8 - let blood run

Rahim had thought that there was no place colder than Fermount, until he spent his first night in Alaska. It was so cold that you would think your thoughts where frozen, it didn’t make it any better that they had a house on top of a mountain but like any good Washington he adapted, his family adapted, to the conditions, to the constant paranoia, to the inevitability of being caught and to the realization that they would probably never see their families again. Two years had passed since the US government seized every Washington asset known to man. Many of the Washington men had been incarcerated on false chargers and the government paraded the end of organized crime. Rahim’s promise held strong though, none of his business partners where harassed and business continued to run as normal even if it was on a smaller scale. The government realized that Rahim’s plan worked, they had chased the wrong people and because they paraded the end the Washington family in the media they could not go after the real partners of the Washington family. Firstly because they didn’t know where to start without the head of the Washington family. with every Washington man who entered those jail cells not one word was uttered about the families dealings and partners and secondly the public would accuse the US government of wasting money in finding the sole proprietors of organized crime when they had experienced their first recession in 70 years and still had a drug and Cold War to fight. The US President was persistent on finding Rahim and after two years of sniffling him out, the US government made its way to The Alaskan mountains.

Rahim and Cindy walked down the mountain every morning to collect bore water while Mrs Debra and Rah’s sisters set up the table for breakfast. Luis Jr loved the snow and would play in it all day. He had grown so much and looked exactly like Rahim. The morning was colder than usual but the sky was clear, Cindy noticed that Rahim was tense and didn’t talk much during the hike down.

“Baby, you okay?”

“Huh?”

“I said are you okay?”

Rahim looked into her beady eyes, the same eyes he had fallen in love with when he meet her in New Guinea. Her nose was colored with a brush of red, her skin glowed and her hair was full and vibrant. He kissed her and said

“It’s time hunny bunny”

“Time for what Rah?” She replied

He put down the buckets in his hands and grabbed her shoulders.

“They’ve found us”

As if choreographed, one tear dropped down Cindy’s cheek and she asked

“How long do we have”

“How long do you You guys have”

“Wait what, you can’t stay Rah they’re gonna kill you”

“If I leave with you guys you’ll always have a target behind your back, we’ll never grow old and sit on a porch in our big home in Texas and watch our grandkids play in the yard if I don’t do this”

“But babe-“

“Baby listen, what did I tell you in that island bar in New Guinea?”

“That wherever I go you would follow till death”

“And I’m not gonna break that promise, okay”

“Okay”

“Immediately after breakfast a car will come to fetch you, mom, my sisters and Luis Jr. it will drive you to an old military flight school, if you don’t see the military flight school in about 30 mins after you leave from here I want you to shoot that mother fucker clean in the head. You’ll be put in a plane that will fly you guys to New Guinea”

Cindy smiled and kissed him.

“Now I want you to take the black brief case under our bed and give it to Abè, he’ll be waiting for you when you land, and whatever happens-“

Before he could finish what he was about to say Cindy hugged him and said, nothing will happen, we’ll see you soon okay”

“Okay”

Night hit the Alaskan mountains and the fog had masked the house in blinding white snow. Rahim sat alone in the dining room of the small wood house he had made a home for the last two years. He looked around the kitchen and smiled thinking about all the meals they had in here, maybe it was the cold or because the wooden house was so small that they had to be in each others faces but this house reminded him of Fermount, it reminded him of when his dad used to take him and his brother to baseball games, it reminded him of the nights in parking lots he would speed with fast girls and his best friend Owen and it reminded him of waking up 10 minutes earlier just to watch the sun kiss his wife’s face as she woke up. He knew that he would have to sacrifice something if he wanted his families name to live on, he knew the stakes would be high when he drenched his blood on that grave and he knew his dad would be proud of him. As the night lingered he heard commotion and he knew they had arrived. The Alaskan police force together with the US army burst into the property with vehicles going up to the house. Helicopters flew over the mountain with bright lights illuminating the little wooden house. Rahim waited until the vehicles made it close to the house and without warning a huge explosion blew up the house together with the mountain, and an avalanche of fire engulfed every army and police car that was close to the mountain. Alaska was on fire.

In the next few weeks the press was flooded with news of how the US government had killed the terrorist Mob boss Rahim Jackson in Alaska. The New Yorker read

“The Washington’s wicked rain of terror has finally ended.”

Chapter 9 - We multiply

On the noon of August 24th 1991, US government files where leaked to the media. With evidence linking the US government to war crimes, plans to invade Oil countries and civilian surveillance with news of government corruption being leaked on a daily basis. This hit the US government like a shit storm, the public wanted answers, the United Nations condemned the US for its inherent evil human right violations and in every state of the US and every country in the world civilians rioted and protested for answers. The US economy took a hit and trade sanctions were discussed. The White House was frantic and no one had heard anything from the president, he was not answering any calls and he didn’t send out even one press conference. As the president talked to his delegates in his office his secretary burst into his office and said

“Sir you have someone on the phone for you”

“I think it can wait Mika I’m busy with something here”

“Sir, you’re gonna want to take this”

He knew who it was but he didn’t want to believe it, he walked slowly to the white plastic telephone waiting for him on his secretary’s desk, as the delegates, counselors, mayors and military advisors watched, he picked up the phone

“Mr President, I believe I have something you need, I think it’s time we struck a deal don’t you think?.”

The end.

2 notes · View notes

jawnjendes · 5 years

Text

i don’t know why | shawn mendes

university au a totally perfect summer babey, shawn x goth gf

AN: u know how life imitates art or vice versa???? yeah sometimes i hate that. anyway i thought i was gonna slow down with updates but i had one (1) free day before i move (tomorrow) so here is this do with her what you will

******let me know if you wanna be tagged in future chapters

masterlist | playlist

In the past, if there was ever a time I could trade 120°F weather for literally anything else, I would have taken it. I would have given anything to stay in Toronto over the summer if it meant I wouldn’t experience heat exhaustion from the moment I stepped outside. I would sell intense SoCal weather to Satan for a single cornchip.

It’s halfway through May, and I still wore a long sleeve and jeans when I went out. It rained sometimes, and when it didn’t, it was cloudy. I could appreciate the coziness that accompanied the weather, but for the time of year, it was also putting me into a weird headspace. I couldn’t shake the feeling of my body unconsciously waiting for sweltering, dry desert heat. I was supposed to be in shorts and a tanktop in my hometown, and Shawn was supposed to be there with me. We were both supposed to be facing the chaos that was my extended family.

On top of that, I was hating having to go to the dealership five times a week. That was all I had going for me now that school was out. I didn’t even work five days during the semester. I never worked in the summer at all in the last few years, and again, I was wearing sweaters in May.

On the bright side, Shawn went to his first therapy session, and it went well for him. Said he had a breakthrough, and ways to combat the night terrors, but he had more that night anyway. I had to time when his body would start twitching, and then wake him up 15 minutes prior. It worked well, and it brought some relief to us and our sleep. I was just glad he was finally doing something about all of this, even if he was still reluctant to talk to me about it.

Sometimes, we were on different wavelengths. Shawn was in the process of getting his perkiness back, and it showed when my pessimism was out and about. There was a balance of light and dark between us, and today Shawn had all of the light.

I decided to go barefaced today. I felt the need to not hide how tired and done I was with the world and its bullshit. My eyebrows were incredibly sparse, and the under eye bags were just a little sunken in. While I was eating solid food again, I was lacking in other nutrients, therefore I was still dropping weight. Why hide it, right?

Shawn just had to point out that I was not wearing makeup, and I just had to take it the wrong way.

“I can’t look pretty all the time,” I snapped.

“But you do look pretty all the time,” he replied, unfazed.

I rolled my eyes and turned away from the bathroom mirror. Shawn was standing next to me, putting product in his freshly washed hair when he noticed my body language.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I have nothing to complain about. I should be grateful.

I left the bathroom and went to change into my uniform. My company shirt needed a wash, but I made a mental note to douse myself in perfume before I left. I was also on my last pair of clean white leggings, which gave me another thing to do when I got home because Shawn doesn’t do laundry. He waits for his mom to come over and do everything for him.

He came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, in his white Sting t-shirt and black jeans. I don’t know why I envied the fact that his only uniform was a stupid apron. Or the fact that he actually looked forward to going to work.

“Okay,” he spoke firmly, “not that long ago, you were pushing me to talk, now it’s your turn. What’s wrong?”

I sighed, not wanting to destroy the last chances I had at pulling myself together before my shift. “It’s nothing. I’m totally happy to be here.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“It means exactly what I said.”

“Doesn’t sound like it.”

My skin was crawling with unreasonable annoyance. I wanted to yell at him, and for what? Was it his fault that my insides were the actual worst?

I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Then I looked at him, and the underlying sadness started to creep in. “I just miss my parents… and California. I kinda wish I was there.”

Shawn’s eyebrows scrunched together. His tone was something I was not expecting in the slightest. “You don’t wanna live here?”

It didn’t take much to get me back to my angry state. “I didn’t say that,” I defensively argued. “I said I-”

He interrupted me. “No, no. You don’t wanna be here. You don’t wanna live with me. It makes sense, you’ve been moody this whole time!”

My eyes narrowed into a death glare. “What, am I not allowed to miss my hometown? Am I not supposed to be angry that my large intestine refused to cooperate and part of it had to be removed? Should I not be pissed off that I’m eating bland rice everyday?”

He looked more confused than angry. “I think you should be happy you made it, that you’re okay now.”

I scoffed. “I should be happy? I don’t get to go home until December! I don’t get to see my family this summer! It’s almost June and I’m wearing a fucking sweater!”

“Don’t you hate the desert?”

“You don’t understand!” I yelled. Well, I did it.

“What don’t I understand?” Shawn shot back, raising his own voice. “You hate living here, right? You want to leave, eh?”

“I never said that!” My fingers pulled at the hair on my scalp. “I’m pissed that this is how I ended up living with you! And I wasn’t ready to live with you to begin with! I’m pissed that I won’t get to see my family until the end of the year! And I’m pissed that I’m the one who almost died and you’re the one who’s traumatized!”

That definitely silenced him. Shawn's face fell in a way I had never seen before. My rage faltered a little bit, but not enough to take back anything I said. He asked what was wrong, and I told him. I was too impatient to wait for him to say something, so I grabbed my purse and my keys and I was out of the apartment in a flash.

Under normal circumstances, I was very good at keeping my personal problems under wraps for the sake of remaining poised and professional. A customer could yell at me and throw a tantrum, and I'd keep my face neutral and polite. When I ended things with Luca, I feigned composure so well that I was named employee of the month.

But no, a stupid fight with my boyfriend threatened my professional-but-mildly-bitchy reputation! I was able to be polite to customers, both over the phone and in person, but I was testy to any coworker that came within a five foot radius of my desk. The finance, sales, and parts managers all fell victim to my signature death stare at various points in the morning. I was honestly shocked I wasn't fired by lunch.

Shortly after my lunch break, Stacy made her departure, leaving me with Jason and Luca. I gave them the cold shoulder from the moment they entered the office, a signal for them to leave me the fuck alone. They obliged, but they still clowned around at the back of the office.

"Dude," Jason said in his stoned out drawl, "they should replace lube… with hand sanitizer."

Luca chuckled. "The fuck? What'd you smoke today?"

"Nah, dawg," he continued, "replace lotion, with IcyHot."

I had my back to them, so they didn't see the puzzled expression on my face. As if I haven't heard such crackheadery like this before. Sometimes it made me laugh, but obviously not today.

"Okay, I got one," Luca said between laughs. "Replaces pads… with aluminum foil."

"Replace tampons with paintbrushes."

"Or! Sticks of dynamite!"

There was only half a brain cell in this room, clearly. That half was taken by Jason, who had a customer come in asking for him. He left the office, giving Luca a smug look through the small window.

There were plenty of people still in the building. The other managers, sans Stacy, and the rest of the salesmen were running around doing boring business things. I wished I had things to do, like file repair orders in the filing closet that was nowhere near this office. Or add up more gas receipts… Or have a long, pointless conversation with a customer over the phone. I literally wished I could do anything to avoid the fact that I was alone with Luca for the first time in months.

Of course, he could never keep his mouth shut.

"So, did your boyfriend break up with you?" he asked in a teasing, childish tone.

I ignored him and pretended to be busy with car repair orders. I didn't even know how to read them most of the time.

"You know I helped Shawnie boy write a song," Luca went on.

My blood boiled remembering how badly Mercy was ruined for me. The real meaning behind the lyrics messed me up more than I liked to admit. I hadn't listened to that song in months because of him, apart from when Shawn would perform it. Still, spite kept my mouth shut.

"Answer me, you little whore," Luca deadpanned. "Thought we were cool."

No, I do not know where the logic is behind that. Luca's mind was unlike anything I've ever encountered, and I can't believe I used to find it so attractive and endearing. I used to take his degrading name calling as terms of endearment. Maybe it was in a twisted way. But that was then. Now, he couldn't even compare to the man I had now.

Luca grew impatient, and decided to approach my desk. He leaned against the surface, practically sitting on it, and his brown eyes burned a hole into the side of my head.

"That song was about you."

Brand new information!

"And I'm assuming you've heard it," he continued. "So you know how I really feel."

Finally, I huffed out a sigh and looked up at him. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you know it's true and it gets to you." He smirked, showing off dimples that I used to adore. He talked like this was some sort of challenge, and god knows he loved to challenge me.

"You're a lot of things," I said, "but you're not a liar. Why start now?"

"I'm not a liar. You just don't wanna believe that someone could love you."

I really did not know where to start with that. He never loved me because he frequently went to me when he was bored and horny. He never loved me because he didn't want the things I wanted, and instead of letting me go, he kept stringing me along. He knew I wouldn't leave.

I scoffed and got to my feet, not wanting to be looked down on anymore. "You don't know that. You don't know anything about me."

Luca turned his whole body towards me. He was still smirking as he fixed the stupid RayBans perched on his nose. "If anyone's gonna know anything about you, it's me. I know you better than anyone here. I probably know you better than Shawn does. And you hate that, huh?"

He was the only person who wasn't intimidated by my death stare. He was the only person who made me powerless and small. And yeah, I really fucking hated that.

"Oh, so now you suddenly wanna admit that? Now I'm worth something to you?" I spat.

Whatever cockiness Luca had on suddenly faltered. He took a step back, ready to shut down, but I wasn't having it anymore.

"You had feelings, eh?" I asked, internally cursing the vernacular that planted itself into my vocabulary. "So where was all of that last year? Where was all of that when I was tearing myself apart to put you back together?"

"I never asked you to fix me," Luca said. "You just didn't want to fix yourself. I know I was just another person you didn't want to commit to in the long run."

"I wanted you to-" I tried to say, but he interrupted me.

"Oh, I bet you wanted me to be your boyfriend. But I know a crazy bitch when I see one. Doesn't look like anything's changed. Wonder how Shawn deals with you."

It felt like the glass bubble surrounding me was shattered with a sledgehammer. It felt like the wind was knocked out of me, or like my spirit had been forcibly removed from my body. My face was hot to the touch, and angry tears were threatening to come out of my eyes. Everything around me suddenly turned grey and went in slow motion. This feeling in my chest was dull and aching, and I wasn't sure how to deal with it.

Even when Jason entered the office again, I still felt like I was floating. Luca went back to his desk, and my body moved back into my chair. Memories of finishing up my shift were spotty. This darkness was awfully familiar.

I found myself wandering around Walmart after work. My legs felt numb, but they moved and worked like they should. My breath was constantly getting caught in my throat, and my spirit was just following its vessel around the store. I felt like I could collapse at any moment, and I could just let the ground swallow me whole. I tried looking at the video games in the electronic section to get myself back to normal, but I just felt numb. I ended up buying a stick of deodorant and an ice cream bar I couldn't eat.

Shawn was already home when I got there, and he still wasn't talking to me. There wasn't anything in me that wanted to try to fix that. He needed to sit with his angry boi feelings anyway. My body moved past the living room, where he was sitting watching Netflix. He looked at me, I saw it from my peripherals, but I just silently turned into the bedroom.

I spent the next hour leaning against the wall in the shower, hot water coming down on my back. I had a specific Halsey song on repeat blaring through the bathroom, even though my spirit floating above my body knew it wouldn't help the situation. I just needed to feel something.

"Tell me how's it feel sitting up there

Feeling so high but too far away to hold me

You know I'm the one who put you up there

Name in the sky, does it ever get lonely?"

Eventually, I was back on Earth, and the water was cold. My limbs ached as I moved around again to shut the shower off, but at least I was feeling something. Once the noise from the running water was gone, I was forced to hear more of that damn song. I still didn't bother to change it as I stepped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around myself.

"Gave love 'bout a hundred tries

Just running from the demons in your mind

Then I took yours and made 'em mine

I didn't notice cuz my love was blind"

I made quick work of drying off and getting dressed. I didn't bother with putting leave-in conditioner in my hair or moisturizing my skin. I stared down at the sink and processed what went down at work.

"I didn't ask you to fix me. You just didn't wanna fix yourself. I know a crazy bitch when I see one. Doesn't look like anything's changed."

Shouldn't you want to fix the one you love when they're down? Wouldn't you do anything you can to ensure that the one you love would be okay? Why else would I give up therapy so Shawn could take my place?

Oh, crap. Shawn.

Before I knew it, I was walking out of the bathroom, back to the living room. Shawn was still on the couch, take out box in hand. I watched him eat pasta as I leaned against the doorway. My voice came out raspy and wavering, but still coherent.

"I'm sorry about this morning. I didn't mean to snap at you."

Talking alone caused a crying fit to form in my chest and throat. I turned on my heel, not expecting much of anything until-

"Did you eat?"

I stopped in my tracks, but I didn't face him. I cleared my throat before speaking again. "Not hungry."

"Hey, I know we fought, but you still need to eat."

"That's, that's not why…" I trailed off. This was a time where I wanted to sit and cry in his arms, something I never did. (The hospital doesn't count - I was under the influence of morphine.) I knew he was still mad at me, though. I couldn't ask him for anything. The only thing I could do was clear my throat some more.

Mad as he was, Shawn was still persistent. "Do you feel sick?"

Yes, but not the way he was probably thinking. I wouldn't even know how to explain it.

"No," I said simply.

I heard Shawn move from the couch, but I still kept my back to him.

"Is something-"

I cut across him. "Don't try to be nice to me. You don't have to after the way I acted."

"We had an argument, we didn't break up," Shawn said.

Slowly, I turned my head to look back at him. The only thing between us was the doorway. Shawn didn't seem as wound up as he did this morning, but that didn't mean he probably wasn't feeling it anymore. I didn't want to risk another fight.

"I didn't mean anything I said this morning," I told him, my voice still small. I couldn't find it in me to fake composure. "I like living with you, and I appreciate everything you've done for me."

He nodded. "I'm sorry too. I understand that you miss your family. I miss mine, and they're only a half hour drive from here."

If I didn't have this surgery then I would be at home and I wouldn't have been irrationally shaken to the core by Luca's words. I could literally be in my childhood bed right now.

"Yeah," I mumbled, reaching my threshold. "Yeah, I do miss home."

Shawn then waved me over. "Come on. Come here."

I felt like I was going to fall apart as I stepped out of the small bedroom. My knees shook slightly, but Shawn took my hand and led me into the spacious area, over to the couch. He watched me as I sat down. I must have looked like a right mess if he was giving me careful eyes, like I might break into pieces at any given moment.

He got up and grabbed the grey, woolen blanket from the other end of the couch and draped it over my lap. "So… how was work?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." I stared at the TV, but I didn't really care about what was on.

"Alright. Do you wanna play Breath of the Wild?"

Tears welled up in my eyes in a split second, and I rapidly nodded my head and sobbed out, "Yeah…"

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes smut #fourtristattoosspring #shawn x goth gf #this was totally not inspired by real life events ha ha ha #i totally did not wander around my local walmart tryna figure out how tf why tf the mf audacity #a bit shaken up but dammit imma keep writing #no ones taking this away from me especially not-#anyway thx for reading i appreciate yall #(so help me jeebus if i end up having to repost this)

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aoibaratraveler · 5 years

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A Look Back At My Time in Japan! Chapter 2

Welllllll it looks like it’s been a while since I last posted again...but I have an excuse! I was preparing for a pretty big interview and getting ready to make a trip back to Canada. Maybe you’ve heard of the JET programme and maybe you haven’t but I had an interview for that earlier this month and so it took up a lot of my headspace, I’ll be posting more about it once I hear my results in a month or so but I hope to not have too much of a gap anymore in between posts! Also, a mutual friend of both mine and the bf is coming to stay this weekend from Germany so I’m very excited about that and will hopefully have chapter 3 up afterward.

I said before that this will probably be a 4 part blog but you know I really just have so much to say on my experience and can hopefully provide some insight to any people looking to go on exchange to Japan in the future! Or go on exchange in general since my UK exchange story will be coming after this one! So much happened though that this may just end up being a 6 parter xD, ahh it really would have been great if I wrote what happened at the time. Well, I hope you enjoy reading about Japan through my eyes! I’ve also decided to go with naming these chapters since unlike my UK road trip blog, I’m writing this 4 years after the fact so it feels more like I’m telling a story than giving a week by week account on what I experienced. Anyway, last change to my blog! Promise!

Without further ado!

First Month on Exchange: April

I forgot to mention! At the end of chapter 1 was when I arrived in Nagasaki for the first time and earlier in the day before my homestay mother arrived to pick me up, all of the exchange students were made to sit a placement exam to determine their level of Japanese and which class they were to be placed into. Since I had barely slept the night prior and wasn’t really reviewing my textbooks until the last minute, I was only placed in Japanese 3 (they work up from 1) which was good enough for the level that I was at, at the time but if I had reviewed like I had wanted to instead of being lazy then I might have made it to Japanese level 4...but well, we’ll never know and I’m really just giving myself a hard time since I take learning languages, especially Japanese, and being a linguist super seriously. I’m a major procrastinator so of course, I put off reviewing until the last moment but I should be proud of myself for getting there and I made some really good friends that I’m still in touch with from being placed in Japanese 3.

The day after arriving was a whirlwind! I felt like I could tackle anything and was so full of energy! I took my homestay mother up on her offer to drive me to the opening ceremony that was the day after I arrived in Nagasaki which was meant to welcome all the new exchange students and the first-year Japanese students. It was a rainy day but I was full of anticipation. I wore my best outfit that I had brought along with me and had high hopes. It was a really interesting experience as we never do opening ceremonies or anything of the sort for new university students in Canada. There are normally just fairs and maybe freebies up for grabs. My homestay mother only stayed for a small part of it and then left but it was short enough anyway so I didn’t mind. We were then shipped off to the university campus as the ceremony wasn’t actually at the school and then made to attend a sort of self-introduction and general information class where we each said a little something about ourselves and were able to ask any questions about what our life was going to be like for the next four months. I quickly seemed to grab the attention of a small Vietnamese-American who we’ll call TC. She was very bright and friendly and immediately asked if we could be friends because I said that I love to travel in my self-introduction and I seemed interesting whereas no one else did (probably should have taken this as a slight red flag but I felt flattered so whatever). We pretty quickly buddied up and spent a lot of time together thereafter.

The next day was a Saturday and from the looks of my Google timeline, I mostly just walked around and explored my new neighbourhood the whole time and got to know my homestay family. Although Saturday morning was special because my homestay family took me up to Tateyama to go have a picnic next to the cherry blossoms since they were still in season. Tateyama has a “mountain” in the name but it’s really just a hill that was situated behind my homestay family’s apartment and it took about 30 minutes to walk up. I tried some kakigori (shaved ice) and played with the coolest little Shiba Inu. It was a lovely little morning and I got to experience the happy atmosphere of my neighborhood while we all took in the cherry blossoms.

I was lucky enough to be placed in the centre of Nagasaki city while most other homestays were in the countryside, closer to the school. I wouldn’t have minded that since I adore the countryside of Japan and being placed in the city meant that I was an hour away from the university. My first official week in Nagasaki was jam-packed even though I hadn’t actually started my classes yet! Even though we had already attended our opening ceremony for the semester and the school year the previous Friday, classes, for the exchange students at least, weren’t scheduled to start until the second week of April and our first week was just for us to mostly do whatever we wanted! TC and I decided to spend our Monday making a day trip to the next prefecture which was Saga. We didn’t really have any idea what we wanted to do there exactly but I had recently purchased a JR Youth 18 ticket which is somewhat similar to a JR pass and anyone can buy it, not just tourists, and you can only go on local JR trains, so no bullet trains or high-speed trains. It costs about the equivalent of $120 and is good for any 5 non-consecutive days with unlimited trips on those days. We had looked up a bunch of cool things that were in Saga prefecture but would take a really long time to get to and weren’t anywhere near the actual city so we decided just to spend a day in Saga city...although we didn’t really have any choice. You see, I’m speaking to you in hindsight knowing full well how a lot of things work now...especially the JR Youth 18 ticket. I only briefly had an idea of it when I purchased it because L’s sister told me about it when I was living in Tokyo. So when TC and I embarked on our journey to explore Saga, we boarded a bullet train from Nagasaki station. We were about an hour into our trip when a conductor came by to check our ticket and notified us that we were very mistaken but he was super kind and understood that we didn’t know we had done something wrong and let us know what our next step should be. We told him where we wanted to go so he wrote out a detailed guide with all the stations we’d need to get on and get off at (after getting off the bullet train at the next stop) with all of the times. It was really helpful and I really appreciated it but what was supposed to be only an hour-long trip to the next prefecture turned into 4 and a half hours...I felt really bad because TC had left it to me since she couldn’t speak Japanese and voiced her displeasure at it all. It wasn’t a great start to the week but I think if I were on my own and the same thing was to happen then I honestly wouldn’t have minded. When we got off the bullet train we were in a really small town in the middle of nowhere that was super quiet with nothing around, it was actually really cool. We explored that area for about an hour while we waited for the next local train. There was a big river flowing through the city, an old shrine on top of a hill, and a bunch of little, colourful wind turbines lined up one after the other leading from the station to the river. It was lovely. That stop had the longest wait for a train, the next few stops had trains coming one after the other, but we had just missed one by being on the bullet train. After a long journey, we finally made it to Saga city but it was super quiet and no one was around, maybe because it was a Monday? It was really nice though, there was something really serene about being in a city with one main street and no one around except for a few elderly people walking about. We didn’t end up staying for long but I knew from living in Tokyo for a month that government buildings of any Japanese city are usually free for people to go up to, to the top floor and get a view of the entire city so that’s what we did and it was really nice because again, no one else was there and it was just us. Afterward, we took some photos with the cherry blossoms and headed back to Nagasaki.

The next day I decided to use my JR Youth 18 ticket again to go to Sasebo which is in Nagasaki prefecture so it wouldn’t be that long of a trip but TC didn’t want to have any more long train rides for a while so I went on my own. Sasebo is well known in the prefecture by people and is a recommended spot from locals because it’s where the American naval base is and has a different vibe to it compared to other prefectures. It is also famous for the “Sasebo burger” which is essentially just a normal-sized burger to us Westerners but was designed for the surge in marines that were living in Sasebo after World War II and became a hit to all visitors thereafter. I really just spent an afternoon walking around and admiring the area because, yes, it didn’t quite feel like the rest of Japan, but not exactly like America either. You’d have to see for yourself. I mostly wanted to visit Sasebo because there was meant to be an abandoned theme park nearby and I love that sort of stuff but unfortunately I would have needed a car to get there. The train ride in and out is what made it really special. It was absolutely gorgeous because the trip went along the coast and it was such a beautiful day, I honestly wish I had videotaped it.

The following couple of days I visited my university and more thoroughly explored the inner and outer parts of Nagasaki city, especially the biggest shrine in the area and what made that part of the city so popular, Suwajinja/ Suwa Shrine. “It is located in the northern part of the city, on the slopes of Mount Tamazono-san, and features a 277-step stone staircase leading up the mountain to the various buildings that comprise the shrine. Suwa shrine was established as a way of stopping and reversing the conversion to Christianity that was taking place in Nagasaki. In modern times it remains an important and successful center of the community.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suwa_Shrine_(Nagasaki)

I also got a job! It was the funniest thing actually. A day or so prior, I was walking with my homestay mother through town to help her go grocery shopping and I saw a little building that had an English school in it and was intrigued. Later, that night I looked the school up and decided to send them an email expressing my interest in working there part-time and if they had any open spots. I immediately got a response from the owner and he said I could come by the next day for a chat. I did just that and apparently, as I arrived, little did I know, a guy that the owner had just spent two weeks training and getting ready for the after spring break rush of students decided to quit at the last minute and do a runner. So to sum it up, after a pleasant but short conversation, I was hired on the spot. I was told to come by the next day for some quick training prep, as I had never taught English before, so that I could start the following week. He clearly needed someone after the other guy had bailed out though.

Finally, on Friday and the end of my first week in Nagasaki, all of the exchange students were taken for an overnight trip to the mountain and hot springs town of Unzen! It took us about 7 and a half hours to get there but we left early in the morning and arrived mid-afternoon so there was still plenty of time for us to do stuff. We were to stay in a traditional hotel next to a natural hot springs and several geysers. It was such a cool and mysterious area to explore with my exchange mates and TC, especially at night after soaking in the hot springs (which let me tell you was awkward considering it was my first time being naked in front of other people, other girls, but still). The air was misty because of the sulfur, smelled like rotten eggs, but that didn’t stop us from walking around in our hotel yukatas. We stayed up for a large portion of the night, took in the atmosphere and just basically partied. The next day we hiked Mount Unzen and it was awesome, the view was glorious. It was also just a really nice bonding experience and a better way for us all to get to know each other. After our hike, we were taken to the small town of Obama which wasn’t named after the former U.S. president but did have a statue of him. It was also a seaside town and was popular for its free public hot spring foot baths which we indulged in after having a delicious nabe lunch. It was an unforgettable overnight trip and did its job of helping all the exchange students get to know each other better (more detail here and below).

The following week consisted of more city exploration, settling in, my first shifts at the English school, some administrative university stuff like signing up for classes the old school way with pen and paper - gotta love Japan - and actually attending classes. It may seem a bit mundane but I enjoyed every minute of it. Oh I forgot to mention, another reason why Nagasaki is so cool to explore and why I never get tired of it is there is a big Portuguese and Dutch influence mixed in with the Japanese aesthetic because those were the first countries that Japan opened up trade to on the port of Nagasaki between the 16th and 19th centuries. To add to that, there are also several hidden Christian sites that are also UNESCO World Heritage sites around the area because when Christianity first appeared with the Dutch and the Portuguese, it was outlawed and forbidden.

In the next couple of weeks, I went strawberry picking with my homestay family which was spectacular! They had a family friend who owned a strawberry farm and we were allowed to pick an unlimited number of delicious, fresh strawberries. I’m telling you we picked enough strawberries to last us for the next few weeks and I got a strawberry coma from the amount that I ate. It was great. After strawberry picking, my homestay family took me to a restaurant nearby the farm where all the ingredients were locally sourced. A few days after that, I spent the day with a few of my new friends as well as TC and we went to the Nagasaki Penguin Aquarium and, boy, was that cool. We saw so many species of Penguin with all sorts of personalities. There was something that put a bit of a hamper in our day and that had to do with a guy who my friend so eloquently nicknamed as “kimoi” (Japanese for gross). I suppose it all started a day or so before my friends and I decided to meet up for the aquarium. I was sitting in the lounge at uni waiting for some people when a Japanese guy approached me and wanted to chat and obviously that was no problem so I obliged because I’m always down to make new friends. He seemed nice and friendly enough but we slowly moved from small talk to him mentioning a girl that I am now friends with but at the time didn’t know so well even though we were in the same class. He began talking shit about her and how mean she was to him and….how he wanted to kill her...I was like whoa ok no need for that, I’m sure it was a misunderstanding and I tried to cheer him up and his mood did end up getting better and then he just started complimenting me and saying how nice I was and I honestly didn’t know how to take what was happening. I honestly should have taken it more seriously but it was really just a passing conversation that I had with him since we were the only ones in the lounge and he seemed to be friends with a few other people that I had befriended. It was very strange though especially since Japanese people aren’t known to speak ill of others. Anyway, someone from the group of people I met had invited him to hang out with us at the aquarium and I was ok with it at first but...it turns out that he took our small talk that happened by chance as a sign that I liked him??? And wanted to date him?? He assumed that this whole day at the aquarium was our date and I somehow turned into his girlfriend and the other people that were there were just...third, fourth, fifth, and sixth wheels….It was bizarre and I was thoroughly creeped out. He was clearly unstable. The whole time at the aquarium he was trying to find a chance to be alone with me and get the other guys to leave but I kept making sure we were always with everyone and finally one of my guy friends took one for the team and said he’ll distract him by insisting he wants to hang out with him somewhere else while the rest of us headed back to the city. We ended the day by having a much needed calming visit to the Nagasaki Museum of History and Culture and spent a couple of hours learning about our new home.

Then, on the 27th of April, my birthday, I was pleasantly surprised by a home celebration planned by my homestay mother. She got me a little Sailor Moon figure since I mentioned how much I love the character Sailor Moon, ordered chiraishi bowls for all of us which is essentially sashimi over rice, and some cake. I was absolutely delighted. It was a fantastic day if I do say so myself especially since earlier in the day when I was in class my new friends had all bought me snacks and wished me happy birthday. I was further spoiled after work the next day by my boss taking me and my coworkers out for an izakaya dinner, obviously I don’t drink but the food at izakayas are always sooooo good. It was definitely one of my more favourite birthdays, I was 22 and having the time of my life.

I decided to end off April and spend Golden Week, which is a week at the end of April and beginning of May filled with national holidays and is thus called “Golden Week” by making a trip to Busan, South Korea with TC. She found a deal for us to take a 3-hour ferry from Fukuoka to Busan and stay in a Couchsurfing place (which was to be my first of many). I soon learned from this trip that even though TC claimed to be travel savvy, she doesn’t really do her research very well. But I’ll get to that in a bit. We embarked on our journey from Nagasaki station by highway bus (which was the cheapest option) to Fukuoka to take our ferry. When we arrived, we quickly got lost. South Korea, well Busan, isn’t quite as easy to figure out as Japan but that’s mostly because neither of us spoke Korean. We spent a while trying to find wifi and our host’s place. We were excited to be able to explore the city of Busan at any rate and spoke to a few locals along our way who could speak a little English. When we finally found and arrived at our host’s place. We found out that our host didn’t have a bed or a blanket or anything for us to sleep on, just literally the hardwood floor of his kitchen in a small one-bedroom apartment. I mean I was grateful to have shelter, I was, but damn. TC complained that the couple of other times that she used Couchsurfing she always had her own room and bed and didn’t know why this happened but being that I now have lots of experience in Couchsurfing, I can tell you that TC was either lying or that she must have had luck of the draw with her previous Couchsurfing trips and just requested to stay with the first person that popped up in Busan. Normally, when you look on Couchsurfing you can tell what the host is offering, where you get your own room or a shared room, how much privacy you get and pictures of the place but this guy must have had nothing up on his profile otherwise I don’t see how TC would have requested to stay with him...actually I still don’t see why she requested to stay with him. I never stay with someone if they have no references, pictures, or if it’s a shared space. It was such an uncomfortable 6 days because I really was not prepared to be sleeping on a hardwood floor with no cover but the clothes from my bag. The host was really nice though and he could speak English well so that was a plus. I mostly blame TC for most likely not actually reading his profile because then I could have prepared myself.

We spent our first full day in Busan and the last day of April at the Gamcheon Culture Village which is considered the “Asian Santorini” for its colourful landscape. TC had arranged for us to meet up with another couchsurfing host and his guest. One of whom was a Vietnamese ex-pat and an American from Connecticut that had been spending the past few months traveling around Asia. He was really cool and open-minded, we both connected with the two guys really quickly and had a blast exploring the village, trying street food and heading to downtown Busan. The American guy, Z, reminded me that travel shouldn’t be about seeing as much as possible but just absorbing where you are and taking in everything as opposed to getting so much done but never actually experiencing it. We walked for ages and thoroughly investigated every nook and cranny of this intriguing village. We also hiked up to the top and took an amazing view of all of the colourful buildings and artwork. I ate a loooot of street food that day and honestly each thing was under a dollar, it was great! Two things stood out to me from my street food adventure and that was Beondegi which is silkworm pupae; bitter but not overly gross and hotteok; my absolute favourite thing that I tried even though I’m not really much of a sweet tooth. It was a deliciously sweet, caramelly thick pancake with peanuts. One of the reasons why I love Busan so much is that the food is so cheap and delicious so I really did eat a lot of it….Since we hit it off with these two other couch surfers, we decided to meet up with them a few more times before leaving Busan. Later that night when we got back to our host’s apartment, we were invited to have fried chicken with him and his friend--an absolute must-have if you’re ever in Korea.

#Japan #japantravel #japantrip #studyabroad #studentexchange #homestay #japanexplore #Travelblog #gettinglost #busan #food #livelovetravel #travel #shoestringtravel

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shellheadtm-a · 5 years

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i should move a list like this to my rules or 616 tony care manual but, for now, i realize i’ve never given a list of the most important runs to how i view tony. so we’re gonna do that now, so you comic-savvy folks, at least, have an idea of where i’m coming from. i should point out i’ve read (and reread) about 99% of nearly everything tony’s appeared in. so you won’t find just iron man comics on this list. these are kinda done chronologically timescale wise instead of date of publication.

hold on to your asses. this is long.

+ tales of suspense: for obvious reasons - it’s the origin story and his early adventures, and how he earned the nickname the golden avenger. + invincible iron man vol. 1: good insight to how tony viewed himself and iron man and the public face of tony stark in the early days. + avengers vol. 1: second verse, same as the first, formation of the avengers, their thawing steve from the ice, and all the ups and downs of the team roster. + captain america: man out of time: after finding steve tony introduces him to the modern world. steve wants out, realizes he’s been viewing the past with rose-colored glasses, and comes back to the present to help the avengers defeat kang. + demon in a bottle (iim 120-128): the start of tony’s issues with alcohol but by no means the last. the set up for his time being homeless. + doomquest (iim 149-150): firmly establishes doom as an iron man villain, on top of everyone else he bothers. also known as that time tony got to live his ultimate wet dream as a knight in king arthur’s court and fight alongside king arthur. + invincible iron man (163-170): covers tony’s fall from grace as he gets played by a honeypot and loses his company to obadiah stane, and he turns iron man over to rhodey. + invincible iron man (172): also known as that time steve found tony in a flophouse and tried to talk some sense into him but you gotta want to help yourself first and tony very emphatically did not (he was actually trying to drink himself to death so...). also also known as that time steve bridal carried tony out of a burning building like the cover of a cheesy romance novel but no homo, right, marble. + invincible iron man (173 & 178): tony hits rock bottom after skipping out of rhodey’s mom’s house. otherwise known as that time tony lived on the streets for months and no one knew where he was or if he was even alive and helped deliver a baby in a blizzard. + armor wars (iim 225-232): also known as that time tony’s tech got stolen and he went on a rampage to get it back, and also betrayed steve for really reals the first time. it’s okay, they make up (the pink superstar shirt). + onslaught (event): it’s a mutant based storyline i don’t even know where to start explaining this one. but it ends in heroes reborn - which is acknowledged but not written in on this blog. + iron man (early 00s): a darker, grittier iron man. also showcases tony’s utter self loathing, loss of hope for any form of happiness for himself, and the things he does to try to make himself not feel like such a waste of space. otherwise known as the time he had an artificial heart from the suit that went obsessive stalker on him and the birth of FRIDAY. one of my penultimate iron man runs, highly recommended but super dark. + avengers disassembled: wanda destroys the mansion and the avengers break up, seemingly for good. tony can’t afford to rebuild and no one has the heart to keep going after what happened. + new avengers: until there’s a breakout of the raft and steve decides it’s time he and tony put together a new team. tony can never say no to steve when he begs. one of my all time favorite avengers line ups, including wolverine, luke cage, spider-woman, spider-man, ms. marvel (carol). that time the avengers ended up in luke cage and jessica jones’s wedding photo. + extremis: that time tony could talk to computers in his head - how that came to be. also incredibly important: sets the stage for civil war. + execute program: definitely sets the stage for civil war and displays in a lot of ways how extremis is effecting tony. + civil war: self explanatory, i think. comic civil war was entirely us-based, did not involve bucky as a focus point (he becomes the new cap, after all, at tony’s request), and concerned the destruction of stamford due to the new warriors confronting a villain known as nitro. bitter is the war between brothers, etc. + fallen son & the confession: steve is assassinated (or...lost in time, more is the case) on red skull’s orders. tony stark completely loses his shit and falls the fuck apart. the confession solidified - i think - stevetony as a valid possible ship. + mighty avengers: explains tony’s reasoning for doing what he did concerning civil war - which was play damage control so people like spider-man didn’t end up on a dissection table instead of the negative zone. ultron gives him boobs. + iron man - director of shield: post civil war, tony’s time at the helm of shield, and having a few mental breakdowns, fighting the mandarin, and finding out fun new things about extremis. + secret invasion (event): skrulls have been infiltrating everywhere. tony gets uploaded with a virus that takes out all of his tech? and extremis itself. is removed as director of shield, osborn is put in his place. takes place in the middle of the fraction run of iron man. + invincible iron man (the fraction run): literally the absolute, hands down, penultimate you won’t find better iron man run and view of tony stark as a person. includes fear itself, dark reign, and the seige of asgard. cannot recommend this one highly enough. tony dealing with the aftermath of civil war, and then the brain wipe. we love a broken man. + avengers prime: tony and steve finally make up when the realms merge together. he and steve and thor have all kinds of fun adventures against hela, tony ends up naked, we find out that thor and hellcat did the do. good fun for everyone but also displays how much tony’s faking what he does and doesn’t remember, if you’re willing to dig a little. + invincible iron man (2013): tony’s vacation in space, discovering he’s adopted and has a brother, the return of the mandarin’s rings, inhuman fun, the test city that was really a giant iron man suit, and fun times with dark elves. this run is a ride and i love it despite everyone else hating it. it has some juicy tony characterization moments. + avengers 2013/infinity: look, you’d need a decoder ring to understand this shit without reading the whole damn thing. contains superior iron man and the incursions, the time tony used the infinity gauntlet, the illuminati...there’s a lot of unpack here but explains the weight the current tony stark is carrying from what he did - especially as superior iron man - during this whole timeframe. includes old!steve. + invincible iron man (2015): the lead up to civil war ii/secret empire (note: we don’t even look in secret empire’s direction on this blog). just a good little snatch of characterization (surprisingly by bendis). nice look into how tony views himself and how he handles his problems (which is to say he doesn’t handle them at all). + all new, all different avengers: tony and his tiny little team, comprised of a bunch of kids, the vision, sam!cap, and jane!thor. lead up to the thing we don’t speak of, but puts into perspective where tony sits at that moment post-incursions. + winter soldier (2018): he shows up in all of like three pages and is mentioned in a few more, but it solidifies that tony and bucky are close? that bucky trusts tony knowing where he lives and working on his arm, and it puts tony in a support role over being a main player. also rod reis did the art and it’s fucking immaculate.

this is pretty much where, right now, my full canon for tony ends. i do include some bits from the newest avengers run (up through the vampires - and possibly tony being tossed back in time, i have the feeling he’s gonna hook up with the prehistoric avengers). also from marvelous ms. marvel and captain marvel, and web of black widow. what it does not and will not include ever is tony stark: iron man. we don’t let slott into this house.

#constant //: ( about )#// i needed to do this #// this isn't everything obviously #// just the stuff i feel like is the most important to tony #// and how i view tony #// bc again #// i've read like #// 99% of his shit #// even if he only shows up in like one page #// there's some stuff in bucky's run as cap #// and in steve being deserumed that i didn't include #// that is still important but #// not as important as all of this so #// here you go

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frostednipz4bts · 6 years

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The Arrival 1-1

-arrival time 5:45 am- Here I was standing in the middle of Incheon International Airport looking for the person to pick me up from here. People were zooming past me not paying any attention to where they were going. I felt like I was in a mosh pit at a concert not able to move around being pushed in every direction. All I knew was that they were suppose to be wearing a black shirt with the word STAFF on the back holding a sign with my name on it. I looked frantically around and almost gave up after 15 minutes of no luck. //thought to myself// What have I gotten myself into? I was skimming the crowd when I saw a short girl with a sign that said “WELCOME y/n USA” all the way in the back of the crowd. She was even having to stand on a small stool to even see over the crowd. I motioned to her I was coming over there. She excitedly started to jump and down when she saw me.

“HI! I’m Miko! I will be driving you to your new place!” She gave you a surprise hug and squished my cheeks. I wish I had that much energy this early in the morning. I was sluggish and had major jet lag.

She helped me with my bags which were heavy as hell. I felt like I packed my whole life away in these 4 suitcases. I left everyone behind in the states to accept this job for BigHit, and I even broke up with my boyfriend to take this job. Probably the hardest thing I had to do.... so I thought.

We started walking towards the exit and she asked me, “ Are you ready for a huge commitment?” I looked at her confused and said, “What are you talking about?” She started going on and on about the job that I applied for consist of. I honestly didn’t know it was going to be all this work. I was so nervous to meet the guys especially. It was a good bit of a drive to get to the apartment they reserved for me. It was literally right across the street from the office. Thank goodness because I would have gotten lost in a heartbeat in the fast pace town of Seoul.

As we arrived at the doorstep of where I was going to stay for the next year I had this urge of nervousness shoot through me. It hit me that this was real... that I was about to make my dream come true. She knocked on the door and a guy answered it. He was tall, handsome, and looked like he just woke up. He was wearing nothing but gray sweatpants and his hair all messed up.

You could tell you were blushing as he was rubbing his eyes to wake up. Your face felt like it was on fire. You started to get dizzy then you felt Miko nudge you to introduce yourself. You snapped out of it finally...

She whispered, “This is your roommate.... go ahead and say hello. He speaks English so its fine” She pushed me forward a little.

//thought to myself// What in the heck... how am I suppose to have a male as a roommate?? How were we suppose to sleep in the same room and not get distracted?? I have all these questions for Miko, but I couldn’t ask them right here or now while he was standing here half ass naked. “Um, hey I’m y/n. I think I’m your new roommate.” You check your card and the number on the door just to make sure Miko misread the number, but she was right...... you are staying here. The guy finally realized what was going on and said, “OH HEY ROOMIE!!” He gave me a slap on the back and welcomed me in. “Whats up? I’m Jackson. Jackson Wang.” He held out his hand for me to shake it. I slowly put my hand out there and he grabbed it and started shaking it vigorously and made my whole body move. He started laughing realizing I was so nervous. Then it hit me.... “Wait a minute. Jackson as in... Jackson from...GOT7?” I knew I recognized that name from somewhere. “Miko, why in the hell am I roomed with Jackson??” Miko turned slowly from the sink and grinned. “Its how we do things around here now. Things have changed. Everyone in this building are staff and idols living among each other. Don’t worry though, y/n. I am right across the hall from you roomed with Jennie from BlackPink. I will let you get settled in. I will be across the hall if you need anything” She gave me this grin and slowly left the room. //thought to myself// BUT WHY AM I ROOMED WITH A MALE.. this is going to be a long year.

I started to unpack my things, but as I was putting up my clothes Jackson was over there getting dressed. In the corner of my eye I saw him take his pants off. I guess he thought I wasn’t looking. Do you blame me for not trying? He glanced over as I was looking and I almost fell over my suitcase trying to not let it be known I was looking. -_- To late. “It’s okay to look, y/n”, Jackson said. I’m sure you’ve seen a half naked guy before in the states.” I was shocked he wasn’t embarrassed. I was also shocked he wasn’t trying to hide his goods.

“I uh, I - I mean I have seen my ex boyfriend naked. It was just a shock to see you change in front of me, sorry” I was scrambling around the room trying to act “natural” which was hard to do when you are roomed with a idol. He started laughing and grabbed me by the arm. “Look, calm down. Take a deep breath”, he said. I could feel my face getting red and he was only inches away from my face. My heart started racing and all of the sudden someone banged on the door which made both of us jump back away from each other. “Come in!” Jackson yelled.

In came this tall mysterious guy with a clipboard and a ton of paper attached to it.

“Yeah, I’m looking for a y/n”, he said with a sly grin.

I was in shock still from Jackson being that close to me. He finally nudged me and I was like... “OH yeah that’s me” - Jackson was laughing at the fact I was still shocked. “Alright - I’m Soowa. I’m the lead directer of the department you are going to be in at BigHit. I help with all the personal assistants to all the idols here in Korea. Read over these papers and turn them in tomorrow when you arrive for your first day. You won’t be doing much except meeting everyone and getting use to the schedules. OH - and don’t be late. Be there in the office at 7 am dressed to impress. You will be meeting the guys of BTS so you will need to show you are ready to work.”

I just stood there both excited and nervous. “How many other people will be there to meet everyone? Is it just me?” Soowa turned slowly back around,” Yes, its just you that got the job out of 15 other people. So make it count. They really liked your resume you sent in. I can tell you that you will be working with each member 1 on 1 teaching them English since it says you are an English major. That’s probably what got you the job. Plus - you will also be assisting them with whatever they need. When I say whatever they need... you need to give it to them.” You noticed he said that with a sly grin. My heart started to beat faster getting nervous about what hes even talking about... “whatever” they need... Your trail of thought wondered off as you notice him leaving.. Soowa continued,” I will meet you in the lobby actually at 7 am so you will know where to go and not get lost. The building is confusing to some.” I nodded my head and he walked out of the room. I went to lock the door and I totally forgot Jackson was even in the room. I turned around and he was right there in my face. GOD he smelled good too. I shook my head to get the thought out of my head. I couldn’t help but fantasize about him. He noticed you getting flustered and backed off a little. “Look - if you start to feel weird around me... let me know. I will back off. You seem like a down to Earth type of girl, y/n. My last roommate got fired because he was late to work 5 times. Like Soowa said... Don’t be late,” Jackson said in a more concerned tone. I was making my way to my bed to sit, but he grabbed my hands again. I could feel my hands getting sweaty. I literally have never been this close to any idol or ANYONE famous for that matter. I should have known I would be around a few working for BigHit. Never in my life did I think I would actually meet Jackson Wang though.

He gave me a great big bear hug ,and you took in a deep breath. I felt like I held my breath for 5 minutes to take in the glorious smell. It was strange he was hugging a total stranger, but I did not mind at all. It did calm me down a bit. “It’s by Versace,” Jackson said while laughing.

He walked over to his desk and threw this blue bottle at me. It was like catching a brick. I’m glad I caught the dang thing. “Oh - nice. I’ve never owned anything Versace in my life,” I told him. Jackson walked over to me and said,” Well, that bottle cost about 120 bucks.” I almost dropped the bottle as he told me how much this small bottle cost. I handed it back to him so I wouldn’t accidentally drop it since my palms were still sweaty from being nervous around him.

We stayed up talking a long time getting to know each other. He helped me fill out my forms because some of it was in Korean, and I was still learning. He offered to teach me Korean if I would teach him more English. I agreed and we talked til around 11 pm about the most random stuff. “Ahhh, we better get in bed. We both have to get up early in the morning,” Jackson said. I looked at the clock and I panicked. “Where do I go to freshen up?” I asked. I didn’t even realize we get our own bathrooms. Jackson pointed to this small slender door to the right of his bed. “The bathroom and shower is in there. Be sure to turn the knob hard when turning it off or it will drip. That noise gets on my nerves at night.” Jackson was laying in bed with his earbuds in. I figured this would be a good time to get in the shower while he’s busy. I took a quick shower, and forgot to get clothes to bring in there to change into.......great. I wrapped the towel around me and peeked out to see Jackson asleep already. I walked to my closet and grabbed my PJs and walked past his bed to see him laying there with his hand in his boxers. You really couldn’t help but stare at every inch of his body. I went to put the cover over him, and that’s about the moment he grabbed my arm and pulled me on top of him. I looked at him and noticed he was still asleep. What. In. The. Hell. I tried to wiggle my way out of his grasp but he was strong even in his sleep. I couldn’t imagine what he was even dreaming about because he was moaning and mumbling something. I tried to shake him awake so he would let me go. Finally I slapped him upside the head. “YAH - let me go you pervert!” I yelled. Jackson woke up to find me on top of him with my towel on, barely. I was rambling on about how I couldn’t get loose, but all Jackson was doing was staring at me in awe. I snapped my fingers to get his attention. “Helllooooooo - my eyes are up here Jackson.” -_- For once he was speechless. “Look I was trying to cover you up and you grabbed my arm and pulled me on top of you and even in your sleep you’re strong as hell and I couldn’t get off of you. Are you listening to me?!” He started walking towards me looking me up and down. I started backing up into the door to the bathroom. He got closer to me, and I felt like I was about to have to defend myself. “Get your pajamas on, y/n. You’re still naked and its very tempting to try and hit on you right now,” Jackson said while trying to stay calm. I did just that. Got dressed. Got in bed. Went to sleep. I remembered to set my alarm at 6 am so I had enough time to get ready. Tomorrow was a big day.

#bts #jacksonwang

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 5 years

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So i found a couch while head browsing with Alex and i loved it i said it's perfect!! But it's been used since the 1960s. Which is great. I have no problem with that. But in Quarantine... I mean... Brand new feels safer!!.

So Alex redisigined the sofa an put in a custom order.

But then he told me the color... And i said but baby you can't do,that. We got a little lover that thinks the sofa the,same color as him needs some pruning.

Alex changed the color and he said he was torn on this beautiful purple... So he went safe on blue.

So he told me and i said baby you got all this waisted space we need to put shelves cause some the kids love little Nik nax on the shelving. Then some play with them like dolls. He said ok he would build shelves for me and the kids.

Which is better because then the kids can move it and then play on both sides with more people.

So then i said did you arch the arms like I like? He forgot then we were looking and we said if we arch the bottom because he just put a board there to block the space. I said open it and the cats and puppies can,go,under wirh archs with leaves then,we decided to put a life tree at the arms the decor it for safety with diamonds that are pointed. The smaller animal can go play under. A free safe space.

I'm at photo limit so I'll edit this sofa i found.

We were looking for the perfect shape. And this $15,000 1960s sofa with God knows what on it. From God knows where...,was the perfect shape.

So yall brands thinking that we ripping you off. We're not.

So the after i designed it with Alex I then looked at other sofa and chairs for INSPIRATION.

Alex's furniture store is high priced. But its good long lasting eternal quality.

I love it because my grandparents had an Upholstery store named Jennings Upholstery and Repair.

I love designing. I love architecture. To get my hands on software where i can build something perfect and then someone makes it. I LOVE it.

So,we did a design for comfort for both our smaller animals and children and human guests to sit on.

Then I said what you got behind the sofa? Because his room so big it's split.

So he has animals he said bird has a cage and a pooping area.

So i said baby potty train him to just use the toilet. Dogs and cats too

Then we can instead of having a newspaper toilet we can make him a little chair throne of his own miniature size. And Thwn have royalist chairs for all the animals. All different shapes and sizes. Then the shelves to play

So we. Have rhe loving sofa to,cuddle and lay on and relax then a 7x14 space to quality talk and chat and mild loudness. So

On the sofa we can look over and see what's going on and then also have that space to conversation and create. A down stairs working area.

A working play area old world Victorian style.

So it goes in a flow From plain basic boring modern to high rich Victorian.

So the room has its own growth. To inspire. Calm ajd4 destroy enimels with. Peace. In the middle is the tree and comfort so much room for people and so much room to be alone in. Its like a safe zone.

That was my intones of creation. The benefits to be cuddles.

So then the working area smaller areas for cuddling. Like a small sofa or two to be able to sit and combine thoughts while creating and designing. Chairs to think alone in and have social distancing.

Then,chairs owned by animals. So it declares ownership and territory m the rights to be Alive and have things for US. IT INITIATES FREEDOM.

The basic modern is just a TV and bookshelf and bathroom and fire place. Old boring normal stuff

What is normal. What i grew up with and loved. Nothing other than simplicity.

The growth is designed as to what we had to what we earned.

So, I'm,in,this cloud of love and i think everyone should have the fanciest sofas an S chairs I can think of.

So,for $200 dollars starting price. I think we can sell something that he would sell for much more.

So what i would try to get him to do is to drop a zero.

So let's go to the top of our chairs.

Brown chair with tassels he would sell for $9,000

The chair to the right with the crown.. $1500

Next. Funny dog tounge chair $7,000

Small chair with silver ... $2,500

Rose chair-- $3200

Next is actually a dog bed. As a dog bed he would price it at $3,000 as a human chair $18,000

Red chair he would sell for $7,000

Gray sofa $14,750.

So, this is what he does. He would buy the rose chair for me for $800. So then he doubles the price for profit. 1600 then he doubles it for beauty. $3200.

That is how he prices.

How much HE would pay personally based on quality and workmanship. Now if it is for me ... I hate being ripped off so he actually bases those prices lower. Then double doubles. For the 1%

Like the rose chair. The dog chair he said $7000 because he can tell there is something there that is special but can't figure it out. So he said $7k because i know there's something special there.

Although the chair is very basic.. And doesn't look as difficult to make as the 3d rose chair... He would pay $700 so he just added a zero. Simple. Because it's simple to,see its a dog tounge.

So pricing is quite loco in his stores.

But what I'm asking the people if we sold ar lower prices to cover labor and costs. For a temporary time only make 10-20% profit.

Would y'all be interested in the type of old world furniture I have posted?

The ornate type m obviously I would use my skills to make it different than above. But base it on life and love

Like our leaves are heart and oval. For our vines.

So the furniture i would design at no cost. But ask the extra profit.

Now I explained a sofa so you see how much work goes into the design. For free. No cost added for free.

Alex charges $175 to design each piece. He said he would charge $30 only if I help. That is to impute to the computer and then send it to be processed.

Then he charges $800 each time he checks the process. At a minimum of 4 checks.

This is how people get rich and greedy.

But you know alex takes 3/4 of his workload profits and puts it in a savings account for me.

Then 1/4 he keeps to live on

So obviously we are fortunate enough to cut prices for the low income and,the poor

And I,give you guys money so most of you have enough to upgrade your furniture.

If you give us all your old furniture youre replacing we will take off 15% from the 20% profit thus making 5% on the sale.

Then we will take Your old stuff and tear it apart and recycle the materials.

Now we definitely will NOT use it in this factory because of the high quality. We want to keep,it the best furniture you ever had.

But we don't want your old couches in a landfill.

We could donate some to schools and such... What is good can be reused and not recycled. So we would keep the old separate from the new. I promise you that.

Old is landfill gross. In our minds. So then we have to figure out what to do with the "trash" and put it someplace good. But if we use it on furniture we will advertise its recycled goods.

Like some couches are structure and workmanship great. We would clean the stuffing and sanitize it and then,sanitize it all. Then use like an outdoor protective cloth to cover it and then it would be a brand new outdoor sofa just like an indoor one. So we would take it apart. Then reassemble and add things. Make it amazing. Then sell it back to you lol to put on your porch.

So we would do a system If you wanted to buy it/keep it... We would actually work with you with 3 designs. You pick and then we remake and then you pay 50% Mark up. Which will be like... Cleaning labor. $50 "undressing" $35. Rebuild and dressing $175 then cloth about $120.

85+295= $380. Then it's half of that So plus $190.

So $570 and that is super expensive to me.

But then if i did something to Give you $3000.

This is like money laundering!!!!!

Then you give it back to us and have better furniture and more comfortable surroundings

Look y'all might be in a mental place where you'd kill someone for $3k to pay the bills!!!

So, this is something we do on the ship...

Definitely after Alex comes and,gets me,and puts me as HIS POW.

So may be before the ship... But..,i have to design too. So.

I want to know is this something you're open to

This is the perfect time to ask because Quarentine in order to,save our Earth. Aliens have to see the difference between humans and them.

That is why we have had to lock you up.

Not because I'm angry I'm a POW without my soulmate. They have to stop fighting us and accept us as who we are.

So your asses are on the couches, and chairs in your houses.

I want you to appreciate everything you've worked for.

But also I want you to know things will get better.

So Alex and i decided that together we can do this. With the furniture.

So yall can daydream and design anything your world can imagine.

And what we will do is open a website where you design. The same exact designs software his factories use.

Trees will get your design and say but hey you can put a drawer under your bed or a shelf or stool you can pull out to sit on with velvet on top you and me can design.

Will stop your design from going into creation. To make it better than you can imagine And something more worthy of your time and space.

So secret places ... Push a button and a door flaps open and twda,secret places just for you

Social distancing.

This way it's more like how i would design.

Also we will make designs.

And then you design for free. 10% off profits.

Now remember we have delivery and pick up which is seperate. But included in the cost of the furniture. But when we discount the profits we don't discount for delivery.

So I cut you down to 5% profit if you to give me your old stuff. Then you design. Then my profit on the furniture is actually -5%

We don't make money. We end up paying 5% of the cost of your items.

Now delivery can Not be cut at all. We got trucks AND gas prices and oil changes and all that So we need a cusp of a safety net for us.

What will happen is we will charge $3 for gas.

Gas prices will go down to 25 cents a gallon. Eventually. Its $1.75 now here in town.

One reason you're on quarantine because gas is lowering and we don't want those long lines at the pump if you fill up now for fuel storage you'll find out next week you got ripped off.

But we will charge $3.00 per gallon of gas to deliver to you. Then labor at $15 per hour to set it up in your home. White glove delivery.

Its currently only for USA because we only have one furniture factory.

Canada is a wait of at least 5 orders going the same area. And an extra $2 dollars per gallon.

Mexico is an extra $4 per gallon.

Now the reason for the gas prices as we labeled is the time it takes to drive to you. Someone is sitting in that truck. We have to pay for hotels. Even if it's a free room in our hotels we have to pay the maid to clean when they leave.

As it now it's averaged we will lose 35% profits.

To pay delivery man and your design and your old furniture discounts.

Losing 35% of a $1,000 bedroom suite. Dresser bed and all.. That is a loss of $350

If one million $1000 orders came in...

We would lose $350,000,000 for our company..

That would cause us to go bankrupt.

I'm suicidal. You can tell.

But behind all that is a cloud of love. Faith. Caring and compassion.

So my question is. Not will you allow us to go bankrupt.

But will you allow me to give you money from my heart that I fought for the death of me to buy furniture from me and Alex?

To make me feel better that you have all the luxury and comforts in your home that you need to make yourselves feel good and safe and want to live alongside me?

You know... That I'm Jesus and i died in one of the most pitiful of ways.

Trusting the wrong people. Aliens. I refused to marry to allow them to control our kingdom and me.

I didn't die for me. I died to learn a lesson.

So consider your homes. Feel your couches and wonder do i want this out side? Think about it.

Daydream. Float on a cloud.

And let me know here if you want an upgrade.

Its my apology to you. For not being the greatest of all and caring too goddam much.

The company has 75 billion in profits. Alex took from the rich and greedy. We will break even

Tree predicts with a loss of profit at an average of 35% ... We will still have banked a total of $842,791,861.39 and This is after we hit worldwide....

We could declare bankruptcy legally a lot of companies do.

I want Your kids rooms. Your living room. Outdoor. The kitchen. Your room. Your parents room. Your hall. Every thing

EVERY THING. The 1% that stole our people will Pay for it.

Because that is what we do. Right a wrong.

I'm suicidal. Alex is angry and he fucks them bitches up. Ripping them off and stealing their money. Legally with their stupid permission.

Ying and yang. He's my soulmate.

He doesn't let me fall into a pit of demons. I take myself there. For you humans that live on my planet. To protect you.

So promise me this. You'll live in a home filled with luxury and good. What you always wanted.

Because I've always wanted Alex.

So he can't and won't do this Furniture Adventure without me.

So you praying and you promising me you'll fix your house up good.

Prayer works in mysterious ways. And we need help. Because the aliens are trying to kill Alex.

So you connect the dots

You want and need a new sofa. Your bed has a broken Spring in the butt. Dude I've had that. Duct tape helps but it don't last long.

You using your energy to create peace,and a wonderful place to,stay in your home.

Will help me and Alex to get together to make it possible for us.

So you will save the Planet

I am offering 1 deal of a life time.

If you want it. Then you want your king and queen to be together.

I have this whole side of America and Queen Elizabeth II her side of the Planet

Hers is 92% settled.

America 74%

But I have to,fight and destroy the entire US government.

And i am alone. And i need my soulmate.

Its so painful.

So a deal of a lifetime. A furniture factory that ripped off the richest people in the world. Want to gift 35% back to you.

The whole world. We will create a factory in New London. Australia. Africa. South America. To save on gas and time.

So your energy will create a protective shield for us to be together as soulmate as DNA4U has described m

It will keep me from being suicidal and Snoop says him too.

You can upload a pic of your favorite piece of furniture. And edit to your desires.

Some of y'all have historical pieces. My couch is so beautiful the way it is at my house I would never

But I need a new bed and tv stand and table next to the tub. My kid needs a bed. I need a whole built in shelf for the toy room. I need a lot

But certain things like my couches my kitchen table and chairs made in 1964.

But i need w more comfortable dining table chair for me for my pain. So i would upload the fabric. Vinyl. To,match the pattern exactly then i would design the chair... Like a baby high chair somewhere for my feet to put a certain type of pressure on my back. A place for cat to lay underneath because cat always does at the computer.

I would have rhe same exact chair for ky computer in,the kitchen with a back side picket organizer for important papers and if i have a toddler things for her to do at,the bottom

A toy and some equipment... For her.

So i would have all of everything i need to make my life effective.

I want a safe that is very ornate and is hidden and is fire and water proof.

I want beautiful library shelves

I have a 4 bedroom house and my kid sleeps in the couch.

So 2 bedroom to play in

Its a trailer. Just a simple double wide.

If someone Didjt want their recycled outdoor couch i would buy on3. I hav3 nice Wal-Mart furniture. But w couch??? Oh luxury.

So y'all think about YOU. I doubled up and bound a safety prayer and a gift for you and me. Of mystery and luxury.

So when you desire. Its a prayer for me to be with my soulmate.

Even more so it is bound to something solid.

And although it's bound to evil it's how we ruptured their piggy bank.

There fore a flag waves on each order EACH desire to buy and make,a change in your home, POW.

That states "you got ripped off suckers and we don't believe aliens should be on Earth and seperate our king and queen for your greed. Get the fuck off our planet now!"

Everytime you want.

Aliens will,feel,their greed and laugh when,they desire. Because they are praying to,be killed.

Double down. Buckle up.

You help me. I'll help you.

0 notes

aftaabmagazine · 5 years

Text

Hope Street

By Rasam

[caption: The author, Rasem, with his father in Kabul, 1978].

The journey from Kabul to New York took us two years. I won't go into all our difficulties except to say the time did not pass pleasantly. I was a carefree seven-year-old when we left Afghanistan, an anxious nine-year-old when we arrived.

No one met us at JFK airport. We sat down to wait. What were we waiting for? I didn't know. When I asked Dad about it, he just muttered something about "some nice people." I could see that he was nervous, and that made me nervous too. The hours passed, and my butt went numb, sitting on those hard plastic airport chairs. At one point, I overheard my mother, asking what we were going to do about money. Dad assured her everything would be okay but didn't say how.

Finally, two men in a van picked us up. Who they were or where they were taking us, I didn't know, but that was my normal state. We drove for three hours because our destination was not New York, but in West Philadelphia. The men dropped us off in the pitch-black dead of night and drove away. We could see that the apartment was completely empty. Dad did the light switch-- nothing happened. He moved the switch up and down: still nothing.

"Is this America?" I asked Dad.

"Can we go back?" said my sister.

Dad didn't say a word to either of us. He just took our only suitcase inside, and our new life began.

The next day, a local church supplied us with a bunch of mattresses, and just in time because on our third night in America, Mom started having contractions: she was pregnant with her fifth child. We didn't have a phone, so Dad went out to look for help, leaving my sister Perveen in charge. By the time he came back, 14-year-old Parveen had delivered our family's first American citizen: Azam.

I remember how the sheer abundance dazzled me the first time I went to the supermarket with Dad. Look at all the milk! Look at all the everything! I couldn't believe my eyes. Shelf after shelf of...stuff! My mother had often described heaven to me as a place with rivers of milk. Standing in that supermarket, I could believe we were in heaven. "Is this America?" I thought.

Then we started home with our groceries. All of a sudden, an African American guy came up behind us and asked my father for a light. My father was wearing a suit jacket, as many Afghan men do. When he took out his lighter, his food stamps showed. In a flash, this guy grabbed the stamps out of his father's pocket and took off. My father just stared after him, not even bothering to chase after him. I felt dazed, but then, dazed was how I mostly felt during our early days in America.

West Philadelphia was just a pause for us. After only two years, my father decided to move us to North Philadelphia, where the rents were cheaper, even though the neighborhoods were much worse. We ended up in an old, broken down, two-story on Hope Street, and there we spent the next eight years. The house had three bedrooms and one bathroom. A large crack ran down the front of it from top to bottom, and the whole building looked like it was about to tip over. A sewer pipe ran right across the basement, and when that pipe broke (as it often did) the basement flooded with sewage. Dad had to fix it himself, and I always served as his assistant how I came to dread that basement!

Dad had a room to himself. My brother Ibrahim and I shared another room because we were the oldest boys. The rest of the pack, all six of them, jammed into the third room with Mom. That's right: six: Mom had given birth to two more children after Azam was born, Fatima and Ahmad Shah (and would have on more later on). I don't have to tell you life was tight in that third room!

North Philly was a little more diverse than our old neighborhood. We had black people, white people, and Puerto Ricans living around us, but we still didn't fit in because we were none of the above. My people thought we came from India-- if they were told that we were from "Afghanistan," they just scratched their head: they didn't know where that was.

The summer after night grade, my father decided to get me a job working on a hot dog stand owned by a Pakistani friend of his. The "stand" was a metal booth in front of a busy hospital. In the summer, it heated up to about 120 degrees in there. I worked 12 hours days and made $200 a week- and I worked hard! I had to wonder: Was this really how hard people had to work to make a measly $200? After two weeks, the owner let me go (he said I was too slow). I had never been so glad! I hated that job, hated the heat: it reminded me of Pakistan.

Losing the job, however, left me at loose ends. Then one day, my friend George said, "Hey, you want to help me in my business?" I need the money, so I said okay.

George's "business" was selling crack cocaine. In the beginning, I was just a lookout: I stood on the corner while the older boys sold drugs, and every time I saw a cop, I yelled "Agua!" which was code for "here-comes-a-cop." For this "work," I got paid $200-- a day, not a week.

That job opened doors. George trusted me because I didn't cheat, didn't try to rip him off, and didn't do drugs. Soon enough, I was moved from scouting to bagging, a mark of trust. I would be given a whole kilo of cocaine, and I would divide it up into little "dime bags."

After six or even months, George and the people he worked for promoted me to dealing. I became one of the guys standing around in the street, waiting for white junkies from the suburbs to come by. We worked on commission, getting dime bags for seven dollars and selling them for ten; and believe me, they sold like hotcakes. On a busy day, I could make anywhere from $400 to $1,000.

At one point I had a ring on every finger, gold medallion, lots of bling even though I was only 14, I drove one of my friend George's many cars. It was just crazy how easy it was to be doing that-- and how hard it was not be doing it-- because in that neighborhood if you weren't on the corner selling crack, you were in an aluminum hot dog stand, working twenty-hour days, in 120 degrees heat, for less than minimum wage.

Even with all the bling, I couldn't get a date. I just didn't have much confidence in myself. I came across as a tough guy because I knew certain people, but I wasn't tough at all. The actual tough guys accepted me and liked me, though, and the more they trusted me, the more I wanted to be trusted, so I did my best not to let them down. Looking back, I find that whole era very strange, yet I understand why I fell into it. The temptations were just so strong. In junior high, all my clothes came from thrift stores. We never went to barbers because we couldn't afford it. The first part of sneakers my father ever bought me brand new was in eighth grade. Besides, by the time I was in high school, I had expenses. My father insisted on my paying rent.

There's one day I'll never forget. I was at George's place, working at my daily chore of bagging cocaine. I had about two kilos of white powder sitting there and maybe $20,000 in cash, plus some guns. Suddenly I heard the dut-dut-dut-dut of somebody knocking, went downstairs, opened the door, and saw a cop standing on the porch with a middle-aged couple. My heart starting pounding, but I kept my cool. I wiped my fingers casually against my jeans-- I never used gloves when I bagged, so I had all this cocaine packed under my fingernails. Then I invited them into the house-- I figured it would look suspicious if I didn't. Now I had a cop standing in the hall and two kilos of coke heaped on a table upstairs; that was my whole life on the line, right there.

The couple turned out to be the parents of a 15-year-old girl George knew. They couldn't find their daughter and wanted to ask George about it. I said, "Well, I'd love to help, but he's not here. When he gets back, I'll ask him to call you..."

They accepted what I said and left. I rushed upstairs, frantic-nervous, gather my stuff, and took off. That was the closest I came to going to jail. I was totally in the life, though, the whole nine yards. I was there when fights broke out because somebody was trying to take over our hot corner. I mean fists, guns-- you could not believe what went on. When you're in that life, you lose perspective. You could kill someone, get killed, go to jail-- you don't notice. It all seems normal. Guns are like some joke. You're living on some edge, but you don't even know it. I spent almost all my time out on those streets. I rarely went home, and when I did, I paid scant attention to the rest of my family. I had no idea what was going on with my siblings.

One day, right in the middle of that time of bling and coke and guns and money, I came home and saw a bunch of strangers in the house. I went upstairs and found my mother fixing my sister Perveen's hair and putting mascara on her eyes. Perveen must have had a pound of makeup on her face, but behind that mask of makeup, she was wearing a devastated look. I knew something big was going on, but I didn't know what.

My father then came upstairs and spoke to Perveen and Mom in a voice too low for the guests downstairs to hear. "Do you want this marriage?" he said. "Now is the time to say something. Will you go through with this?"

Marriage? This was the first I had heard of any marriage. As it turned out, this was the first that any of us had heard of it, including Parveen! At 18, according to our Pashtun traditions, Parveen was too old to be single; she was, however, barely out of high school. Yet my father had suddenly arranged a match for her.

He didn't know the man he wanted my sister to marry. He didn't even know much about him, except he was Afghan-- that was the only thing that mattered. The only other Afghan family we knew in Philadelphia had referred him to my father.

I don't remember Perveen responding to my father, but Mom said, "Yes," with her eyes cast down. She was just telling him what he wanted to hear. I think my dad wanted to feel like he was giving the women an option, but there was no option, really. There was no way my sister or my mother could have told him, "Call the whole thing off. Send them home." Not at that point.

I went to my room, feeling very confused. I didn't know what to make of it all. I didn't want to be connected. My life was outside, hanging with my friends on the streets. A few minutes later, I went out to meet some of those friends. On the way out, I saw Perveen sitting downstairs with her head drooping, surrounded by strangers, all of whom were smiling at her. One of the strangers, a blad older man with a round belly, had a particularly big smile on his face: he was to be Perveen's husband.

A few days after the marriage announcements, my sister went out as if was going on an errand, but she never came back-- or rather she came back just once, very briefly, accompanied by a gigantic, intimidating African American guy. My father was out, but she told my mother that the marriage was off. Then she left again, and she was gone for good, just gone.

Eventually, we found out she had run away to Puerto Pico with her boyfriend. My father didn't even know Parveen had a boyfriend. He didn't know a whole lot about any of us. For that matter, none of us knew much about each other, either. I had no inkling about the boyfriend, for example. I was too involved in my life outside the home.

None one us ever even saw the boyfriend. He wasn't the intimidating black guy, who was just a friend. The man Perveen ran away with was a Puerto Rican fellow who lived up the street from us.

My father reacted badly to Perveen's disappearance. Basically, he said he was going to kill her for this. Would he really have killed her? I don't think so, but he did have an intensity about him that she feared. We all did. NO kind of his could talk to him without being scared. He wasn't a big guy, and outside the house, especially around other Afghans, he was unbelievably charming, friendly, courtly, and diplomatic, but he did not have a drop of emotional weakness in him: he was one of these proud Pashtuns who held his own, any time, any place.

God knows I was afraid of him: he beat me mercilessly many times-- many, many times. I don't even know how many times. He'd take the radio cord and hold my feet up. He'd take a broomstick and hit me on the back.

And yet, in that whole drama surrounding Perveen's engagement, I lined up with my father emotionally. I was angry at Perveen! I remember doing stupid things like cutting her picture out of a family album. I saw ashamed of her on father's behalf. He beat me, but I still identified with him and only later looking back di dI come to understand my feelings. I was an adolescent, still trying to discover my own identity, my manhood, and I couldn't stand any humiliation to my father. Shame on him was shame on me. Being the oldest boy, I felt like a had a to upload whatever was left of our family honor. Looking back, I can see that ignorance was a big part of it all, but this didn't soften what I felt at the time; painful, painful shame.

We never had much contact with the tiny Afghan community in Philadelphia, but after my sister broke her engagement and ran away with her boyfriend, even that slight connection was completely severed. My father felt his prestige had suffered with the community and that every time Afghans looked at him, they were thinking, "That man can't even control his own daughter." In his heart, the worst thing that could possibly happen to an Afghan man had happened to him.

And it was then-- amidst all that turmoil of my father's rage, my life on the streets, Perveen's disappearance-- it was amidst all that madness that my mom gave birth to her eight and last child: Nicolle.

We didn't keep her. After what had happened with Parveen, my father announced that he didn't want another girl in the house, so we would give this one up for adoption. My mom had no say in it, nor did any of the rest of us. Nicolle was sent away at birth, and we didn't see her again for eighteen years.

My friends ask if all that abuse scared me. I say, not at all, not at all. I'm not scared because I've learned to let go of that kind of grudge. I know it does no good to hold onto hatred. Besides, I've always reasoned that my father suffered in his own way when he was young. His mother died when he was little; he never had a mother to love him. He got hit a lot when he was young, as a way of being disciplined. The fact is, he didn't know how to deal with any situation except to hit. He didn't know any other way to solve things. His communication skills just weren't there. The beatings? They were his way of communicating. His way of saying, "I love you."

My drug dealing days didn't last long. Within one year, George's cocaine business had gone down. He got locked up and lost most of his money and all of his cars. I never did get caught, and I broke away from the business to look for a safer route through life. Perveen came back from Puerto Rico after a year, but I had little to do with her at first. I was still angry. I didn't really connect with her again until many years had passed and I had gone through my own changes.

The only Afghan Dad kept in touch with after that was his friend Ibrahim in California. They had known each other since their teenage years, and Ibrahim had often urged Dad to come to California, telling him that he would have a better life there because the San Francisco Bay Area had a much bigger Afghan community.

I longed for us to make that move. I longed to live where I could find other people like me. The day my father told us we were moving to California, I felt so happy. I couldn't sleep. I just lay in bed all night thinking about that warm California sunshine. Dad and I got a 15-passenger van for our drive across the country and small U-haul trailer for our few possessions. When the day of our departure came, at last, we packed quickly, much as we had done the day we left Afghanistan. Dad said, "Bismillah-i-Rahman-i-Rahim" (In the name God, the bountiful and the merciful) and started the car. Once again we set off almost empty -handed with no idea of what new life we were heading toward, only that we were leaving Hope Street for a better future-- we hoped.

Notes

This autobiographical story was first published "Snapshots: This Afghan American Life" edited by Tamim Ansary and Yalda Asmatey 2008. The publisher Kajakai Press kindly permitted to republish this story on Afghan Magazine.

Purchase the book at Amazon.

Visit the Tamim Ansary's website

About the Author Rasam

Rasam was born in Kabul, Afghanistan and came to the United States at a very young age. He began drawing at the age of nine. As a shy kid in a new environment, it was easier for him to communicate with others through art than with words. Over the past several years, his art education has been centered on classical realism.

Visit Rasam's website

Read Rasam’s piece Cultural Taboos

April 2019, AfghanMagazine

#narrative #afghanamerican #aghan #philadelphia

0 notes

jpy693en-blog · 5 years

Text

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sheilacarmody · 5 years

Text

An Unknowing Witness to Human Trafficking, Sex Trafficking, Money Laundering and More

By Sheila Carmody

Like so many days that summer, the temperature was supposed to be in the 90s so we agreed to go early, partly to avoid the hottest part of the day and also so we had the rest of the day free.

At 10 a.m. sharp, my friend Claire rang the doorbell.

I opened the door to my second floor condo: “Come in,” I shouted down the stairs.

The door burst open and I heard Claire climbing the stairs. I’d left the door partially open at the top on the landing so she knew to come right in.

She reached the top of the stairs, stepped over the threshold, took a breath and looked up.

“Let’s just walk over,” I said.

“Ok,” she said.

It was June 30th, 2018.

I didn’t know it at the time but Claire and I were about to embark on a mission that would end with me taking the witness stand in federal court, testifying against an alleged sex cult leader facing federal charges of racketeering, sex trafficking, sexual exploitation of a child and human trafficking.

An Idyllic Setting

I was visiting a friend from work in 2003 the first time I pulled into Knox Woods from Route 236 in the Saratoga County town of Halfmoon. Every curve in the road revealed a new cluster of condos and town homes warmed by the light of twinkling lampposts. They almost looked like fireflies dancing, weaving, bobbing, lighting the way though the dark thick woods.

Within days I called my real estate agent who had been showing me small houses for sale. I told her I wanted to look at a condo in Knox Woods. The first one she showed me was on Victory Way, 120 Victory Way.

I remember stepping inside the two bedroom 1,000 square foot abode the first time. It was dark but cozy. There was a living area to the left and to the right a kitchen with a tall counter in between.

I walked around the open kitchen area through a dining area and into the hallway leading to the bedrooms. The bedroom to the right was about 11’ by 10’, big enough for my daughter. To the left was a bathroom. It opened into the hallway and through a second door into the back bedroom. The bedroom in the back had a large walk-in closet.

A number of business cards were strewn on a table by the front door signaling to me the demand for a condo was high so I immediately made an offer. By October of 2003 we were in.

Two Women Walking

The winding roadways flanked by trees, carrying only local traffic, made Knox Woods perfect for evening strolls, and residents were often out walking, which is why the two dark-haired slender women I passed by every evening along the main drag of Knox Boulevard didn’t seem unusual at first.

Aside from the fact that they looked alike, the same height with the same slender build, and seemed always to be walking, nothing stood out about them. Well, not nothing. If there were nothing, I wouldn’t have noticed. I couldn’t really help but notice. A day didn’t go by when I didn’t see them walking together, looking very much alike.

Maybe they were a gay couple, I thought. That thought made even more sense when they started pushing a stroller with a young child.

That’s it: they must be a gay couple who had a baby. I never noticed one of them being pregnant, but they could have adopted the child.

Both had a Stepford-wife like demeanor about them. You would have thought a new baby would bring a smile to their faces but they walked without expression.

Again, they might not have been so noticeable but they were always walking along Knox Boulevard, and now pushing a baby stroller. And then one day, almost as if they were multiplying, there came a young man among them, walking in between them, a relatively young man with a beard and eyeglasses.

Speaking of Sex Cults

The first time I noticed Keith Raniere was while he was walking in Knox Woods. I wasn’t curious, though, until one day I was turning left onto Independence Boulevard from Victory Way. I glanced to the right before turning and there he was being interviewed by someone holding a video camera while another person held a mic.

There were no call letters on the mic, but he was clearly being interviewed.

I asked my friend, the same one who had introduced me to Knox Woods: “Who is that guy?”

It was a while ago but she probably said: “He’s the leader of a sex cult.”

I was confused.

A sex cult?

Who needs a cult for sex?

As time went on, I met someone new, moved in with him and rented my Knox Woods condo. The first two years I rented to a young man from India who worked for GE. The next two years I rented the condo to a couple, one of whom worked at a furniture rental company, which meant they had a fabulous selection of furniture.

Then came Kathleen O’Sullivan. Or at least that’s who she said she was.

I had advertised the apartment on Craig’s List, and Kathleen, or Kathy as I came to call her, showed up very interested in the apartment. She commented on the full complement of furniture still in the apartment, how beautiful it was.

Kathy had long blond hair. She was slender, petite. Pretty with small features.

I told her I would do an employment verification to qualify her for the apartment. She didn’t have an employer, she said, but was left a lot of money by her husband who passed away. She was willing to pay one year’s rent up front.

A whole year of rent up front was unusual but it didn’t seem like a problem since the lease would be signed and she would pay before she moved in. We agreed to meet later in the week when she would sign the lease and pay the rent – $11,100.

The House Sitter

Kathy and I made the same arrangement for seven years in a row, usually meeting at a Starbucks where she signed a new lease and paid me cash for the entire year’s rent. I wasn’t expecting cash the first time, but cash is the same as money from what I remember so I took it. The money usually came in stacks of $100 and $50 bills in a paper bag with a handle. Seven years in a row she did this and by 2017 the bag contained $12,000 in cash.

The first time I interacted with Kathy aside from the lease signings was when the hot water heater in the upstairs condo leaked and damaged my furnace and walk-in closet.

I was out of town when the association manager called me to say there might be damage in the apartment. I called Kathy and arranged to have a friend take a look.

Turns out there was quite a bit of damage and my friend took pictures to send to the insurance company. He went back a second time and met with the representative of the company that eventually replaced the furnace and repaired the closet. It was my friend who first mentioned the name Dannielle.

I was confused: who’s Danielle?

That’s when Kathy started to refer to a house sitter. That must be Danielle, I thought.

Then I received some more confusing messages from my friend. The woman upstairs, my neighbor, came by while he and the repairman were waiting outside to go in. Danielle would ride up on a bike whenever he went to the condo. This time she was a little late and the neighbor from upstairs started to give them an earful.

They’re having sex parties in there, the neighbor told them.

It is kind of strange, my friend said. There’s no furniture in the apartment. No clothes in the closet.

Kathy did say she wasn’t planning to stay at the condo all the time. She had a sister who lived nearby and wanted a place to stay when she was in town.

I was unsure about the veracity of what the neighbor told them. Kathy did not seem like the type to hold sex parties. Also, I’m not sure that’s any of my business so I didn’t ask and only made sure the work was done.

A Bit of Background

At some point even before the hot water heater decimated the closet and furnace, I stopped by the association manager’s condo, which is almost directly across from mine. I was dropping off a lease; the property management association required one to be on file.

Bill, the association manager, told me he had seen “that guy” going into my condo, “that guy” being the same one I saw being interviewed and who my friend told me was the leader of a sex cult.

Bill handed me some print-outs of local newspaper stories about the organization called Nxivm (pronounced NEX-ee-um) with headlines like: Lawyer Attacks Nxivm Scheme; Paper Reveals Secrets of Firm; and Nxivm Courts Rich, Powerful and Influential.

I read the stories, still unclear about what it all meant. Over time, I simply viewed the articles as click bait for a struggling local newspaper.

In 2017, I had the opportunity to enter the condominium myself when I received a text from Kathy saying there was no hot water. My boyfriend suggested she check the breaker. The hot water came back on as soon as she flipped the switch. But the reason the breaker was tripped was likely because the hot water heater was nearing the end of its life so I scheduled a repairman to meet me there the next day.

I arrived at the condo and was greeted by a woman with dark hair who I assumed was Danielle, the house sitter. The condo was dark inside but I like a darker room so I wasn’t surprised. Yes, there were long red velvet drapes on the windows. Maybe it was a little eccentric.

The hot water heater was replaced and I didn’t think about the condo again until March 2018 when my boyfriend pointed out an article in The New York Times. The headline – “Authorities Raid Homes Linked to Cultlike Group that Branded Women” – grabbed his attention.

About Last Summer

Three months later, and several news stories in, I called Kathy, as in year’s past, to ask if she would be signing a new lease. When she didn’t return my call, I started to wonder if there was a connection between Kathy and Nxivm.

I called her a second time and when she didn’t call back, I was concerned, mostly because my condo was income for me and now we were close to one month before the lease would end and she wasn’t returning my calls.

I shared my concern with Claire, who has been a friend for decades and is a Rental Manager for a 165-unit rental community. She and my boyfriend told me I had to give Kathy a 30- day notice if I wasn’t planning to renew the lease. “You’re going to have to knock on the door and hand deliver the notice,” my boyfriend said.

The heat was already oppressive the morning Claire and I embarked on our mission to deliver the 30-day notice. We didn’t really discuss what we might encounter as we wound our way around some of the same paths frequented by Keith Raniere and what I now referred to as his harem.

When we reached the front door of the condo, I knocked. No answer. I knocked again. No answer. I knocked a third time. Again, no answer.

I grabbed the doorknob and the door popped open. It was unlocked. Claire and I exchanged glances and then went in, closing the door behind us.

I called out – hello! Maybe they didn’t hear me knock on the door. Still no response.

It was dark so I flicked the light switch on and the kitchen lit up. Suddenly we were in a time warp. We slowly made our way through the kitchen. There were plates and pots and pans on the counter and in the dish drainer. They were bone dry. There was a bulletin board on the wall leading out of the kitchen. Push pins were arranged in the shape of a heart. Instructions – one of which included a request I’d made to turn off the water to the outside tap during the winter – were written on a piece of paper.

My eyes wandered from the instructions, and, as they did, Claire eyes locked onto mine. I followed her lead as she slowly turned her gaze back toward the bulletin board. At the same time she lifted her hand, unfolded her index finger and pointed to a picture pinned to the bulletin board. Now we were both looking at that same thing.

It was “that guy.”

We looked back at one another. Now we knew. Nxivm was here.

Claire took a picture of the bulletin board and we ventured further into the condo, turning right, stepping into the hallway. The only light came from the small bedroom on the right. There were only the original blinds on the windows and the bright morning sun made its way through, lighting up a room that contained a treadmill so big it filled most of the 11’ by 10’ space.

We moved on into the bedroom at the end of the hall where the darkness started to close in on us. I knew where the light switches were having lived in the condo myself so I went straight to a light switch outside the walk-in closet. I flipped on the switch and we looked out over an unmade bed and beyond to the far wall and window where heavy red velvet drapes hung from ceiling to floor.

Curious, we both walked over and Claire reached up to pull the drapes back and bring in a little light. That’s when we noticed there were latex black-out drapes under the red velvet drapes. No wonder it was so dark.

There was very little in the bedroom besides a bed, a television and a tripod, a good size tripod sans camera, positioned at the bottom corner of the bed. I opened the walk-in closet and there were some towels and a few garments. We walked into the bathroom which held the usual soaps and shampoos.

The bathroom had two entrances, one from the master bedroom and one that led back through to the hallway. We made our way back into the hallway and walked back past the alley kitchen into the living and dining area. The only furniture was a table in the dining area. In the corner of the living room were boxes packed with personal items and mementos, pictures and the like. Star Trek DVD’s.

The walls were covered in cobwebs.

Claire turned to me: “They scurried like rats,” she said.

The mystery of who had been there, what they were doing, where they went and whose belongings were left behind was building as Claire and I reached the front door of the condo where we’d first begun our tour of what now felt like a dungeon. That’s when Claire noticed the magnets on the refrigerator.

“I suck big hard d-ck!” and “Slap my heinie�� and “boner” were just a few of the words and phrases spelled out in colorful magnets on the refrigerator door. Claire took a second picture.

We were a little stunned when we stepped outside and back into the bright sunlight, partly because it was so bright compared to the apartment. Also because of what we’d just seen. I locked the door behind us, tucked the notice terminating the lease behind the window grille and decided to stop by the home of the association manager. He was and still is the eyes and ears of the neighborhood.

I’d often see Bill when I lived at 120 Victory Way but had only spoken with him intermittently since.

We stepped inside his condo. I haven’t seen anybody go in or out of there for several months, he said.

With the mystery unsolved we headed back to my place in the same development. I own two condos in Knox Woods. We moved back after my daughter graduated from college.

By mid-July we were convinced Kathy wasn’t coming back and figured we would have to find some place to store the contents of the condo for 30 days, as the law required.

When my boyfriend and I went to assess the remains of the condo I brought my Flip Video camera to record what was inside, to create sort of an inventory of the items we would have to remove.

Again, I knocked on the door. There was no answer so I unlocked the door and we went in. It was as though time had stood still. The same dishes in the dish drain, photo on the bulletin board, tripod by the bed. My boyfriend was mostly concerned with how we would remove the contents of the condo. The treadmill probably weighed 500 lbs.

We were also concerned the food in the kitchen would attract rodents so we emptied the refrigerator and some items from the cupboards into garbage bags and took it out to the dumpster.

Once again when we left I locked the door behind me. I still didn’t want to disturb anything until the end of the lease, which was now two weeks away.

Within those two weeks, I called Kathy again. This time she answered. She apologized for not calling me back and expressed an interest in signing another lease only this time she could only afford to pay six months in advance.

I was confused. By now I was reading about the FBI raiding nearby properties associated with Nxivm. If she were involved with this group, why would she want to continue renting in close proximity to an alleged crime scene?

I wasn’t sure what to think. I decided to exercise my option not to renew.

I agreed to extend the lease to the end of August so she had more time to move out.

The last time I spoke to Kathy was toward the end of August of 2018. She still didn’t mention Nxivm but said the apartment was mostly empty. My boyfriend had been in the apartment getting an estimate for work that had to be done and he said it was in good shape. All of the contents were gone and the cobwebs cleaned up.

I thanked her for cleaning out the place and for seven years of renting and we said our goodbyes.

Then Came the FBI

I thought the whole Nxivm thing was behind me until the day after I spoke with Kathy for the last time. I was sitting in my car under the shade of a tree, listening to a podcast, eating lunch and my phone rang. I usually ignore the phone when I don’t recognize the number but I was waiting for some messages to be returned so I answered.

It was the FBI.

I sat up straight in the driver’s seat of my car and immediately panicked.

You’re not in trouble, the voice on the other end of the phone said. He asked me about Victory Way and my tenant. “We’re coming to Albany and would like to meet with you, just to pick your brain,” he said.

My first reaction to all of this was – no!

No, no, no, no, no.

I’m embarrassed to report that I panicked, and lied, saying I wasn’t in the condo in June and I didn’t see a tripod. Suddenly it was 1978 again and the school Principal wanted to know where I was going.

It was not my best moment.

My only explanation, when I relayed the story to the prosecutor a few months later, was I thought if I said “no” the FBI would go away. She laughed heartily and relayed the story of her best friend from childhood who slammed the door in the face of the FBI when they knocked on her door to ask about the prosecutor who, at the time, was an applicant for the U.S. Attorney’s office. Apparently, the FBI is accustomed to such reactions.

My awkward opening with the FBI passed and they told me they were coming to Albany a week later. We decided all three of us – myself, my boyfriend and my forever friend Claire – would meet with them together, as each of us had been in the apartment when it was still “occupied.”

We also decided to meet at the “scene of the crime,” 120 Victory Way.

It was a Thursday evening and we all piled into a car and drove over to the condo together. At this point the place was being painted. I told the painter to take the night off.

It was a warm evening and as soon as we got out of the car there they were: two of America’s finest in suit and tie.

We shook hands and all five of us disappeared into the condo. They pulled out their FBI badges to identify themselves and my boyfriend, as I had asked him beforehand, carefully checked their IDs.

They asked us to identify ourselves, which we did. I gave them a little history about the condo and what I knew of the woman who rented it over the last seven years, which wasn’t much. I gave them a short tour, shared what we saw when we went through the condo, before all of the contents had been removed.

Then I pulled the Flip Video from my bag and a piece of paper where I had written what was in each snippet of video. I also shared the leases I signed with Kathy over the years.

The taller of the two FBI agents asked if we had any still photos and Claire stepped forward with her phone.

She texted them the two photos she took: one of the bulletin board picture and the other of the refrigerator magnets.

I mentioned the Hale Drive townhouse, also in Knox Woods. It had been raided by the FBI several months earlier. Bill pointed out the place several years ago, I said.

Who is Bill, they asked.

Surely I would have thought my upstairs neighbor, the woman whose hot water heater damaged my closet and furnace a few years back, would have given them Bill’s name. At that point I suspected she was the one who gave them my name. I had seen her at the pool a couple of weeks earlier and I mentioned the tripod.

As we wrapped up, the taller of the two FBI agents asked me to nod in the direction of Bill’s condo on the way out.

“Seriously,” I asked.

“Yes,” he said.

When we left the condo, as instructed, I nodded in the direction of Bill’s front door and they headed off in that direction.

We hopped in the car and left.

I didn’t really think I was that helpful until this past May when I received a call from the same FBI agent.

“We need you to testify at the trial,” he said over the phone.

By then I had reflected on my experience with Nxivm. The apartment had been cleaned and repaired and painted. A new renter had moved in.

I spent a lot of time there after Kathy O’Sullivan moved out, getting it ready and showing it. It was back to being my place. I also knew now who Kathy O’Sullivan was. While most of the news photos were of Allison Mack, the Seagram sisters and Nxivm President Nancy Salzman, there was at least one of Kathy Russell the bookkeeper; she was Kathy O’Sullivan.

Over the next two weeks I communicated with the FBI via email. They arranged my flight to New York from South Florida where I now live. They also booked my hotel.

While my involvement was only tangential I realized they were telling a story in court and I was one small element of that story.

On Thursday, May 30th I boarded a flight from Palm Beach International airport to JFK airport in New York. I was supposed to testify the next day.

We landed at JFK and as instructed I called a car service. An Egyptian gentleman in a black Lincoln Town Car picked me up and drove me to a hotel in downtown Brooklyn. He talked nonstop from JFK to downtown Brooklyn mostly about what 9/11, Hurricane Sandy and Uber have done to his industry. His chatter was a good distraction for me.

I was communicating via text with the FBI almost immediately after landing. They were sending a man and a woman – she was with Homeland Security, he with the FBI – to my hotel to meet me an hour or two after I arrived to escort me to the U.S. Attorney’s office a couple of blocks away for a briefing.

It started to rain when they arrived to meet me in the lobby so I grabbed my umbrella and we walked the couple of blocks to the U.S. Attorney’s office.

We went up to the fourth floor where I met the prosecutor. All four of us sat down in a conference room where they told me what I could expect the next day. The prosecutor went over mostly what I had already told the FBI.

The prosecutor had four clips from the video I had taken last summer in the condo, video I knew they would be showing in court. They discussed the time table for the next day. I would probably not take the stand until after lunch.

Two hours later my new escorts drove me back to my hotel. It was a short ride but it was pouring rain.

The next day I took a long walk in Brooklyn. When I arrived back at the hotel I showered and waited while I watched Netflix. Around 12:30 p.m. I heard from my Homeland Security escort, a very nice talkative light-haired woman from Queens. The court breaks at 1 p.m. for lunch, she said. There are a couple of witnesses before you so you may not take the stand until 4 o’clock but we’ll come get you around 2:30 p.m.

I told her I’d be in the lobby by 2:30 p.m.

Almost as soon as I sat down in the lobby, I received a call from the same woman asking me to start walking towards them because I might take the stand sooner. Apparently, the judge gets testy when a witness is not queued up and ready to go.

I started up Tillary Street toward the federal courthouse which is right across the street from the U.S Attorney’s office. It was a beautiful sunny day and Brooklyn at the foot of the Brooklyn and Manhattan bridges is frenetic, to say the least. A good frenetic.

We met a block or two from the hotel and they escorted me around the corner onto Cadman Plaza East to the entrance of the federal courthouse. They made me feel comfortable every step of the way. I knew exactly what would happen and when.

They brought me upstairs to the jury room. The jury was in the courtroom and the jury room was a better place to wait than the small windowless witness room, they said. We chatted about a lot of things, almost none of it about the case. I texted my friend Claire: “I’m in the jury room.”

“OMG,” she texted back.

As my turn to take the stand approached, I was escorted to the smaller windowless witness room. I waited briefly and then I was summoned.

We moved a few steps to a set of double doors and the doors opened. I was warned in advance that the courtroom was bigger than I might expect. The judge was at the far end and he pointed to the witness stand. That was my cue. Suddenly all those years of watching courtroom dramas came in handy. This was a scene I had watched over and over again on television. I was comfortable. Not nervous at all.

I stepped up onto the witness stand, held up my right hand and swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I sat and was asked to state and spell my name.

The prosecutor approached the podium and started asking me questions.

I tried to focus on what she was saying but couldn’t resist scanning the courtroom. The jury sat to my right, closer than they appear on television. The defense and prosecution tables were perpendicular to the judge and witness stand.

They showed the video I took all those months ago on a large screen on the wall and on computer screens, one in front of me and one in front of each juror. The prosecutor I met with the night before asked a few more questions. The defense was offered the opportunity to cross examine. They declined, as the prosecution expected.

I was excused by the judge, a tall slender older gentleman (think Mueller), and I stood, stepped down, walked past the jury back through the courtroom and out the door.

My new friends escorted me back down to the lobby of the federal courthouse and out the door into the sunny afternoon. Now back on Tillary Street I thanked them.

“I can find my way back,” I told them.

We parted ways and I walked back to the hotel. Along the way I called my boyfriend to let him know I was finished and all was well. When I arrived at the hotel, I walked through the lobby, up the stairs to the second floor where a bar fed out onto an outdoor patio.

I ordered a Tennessee Honey on the rocks, settled in and called Claire. Mission complete.

Sheila Carmody is the editor of the solutions-based book “Why We Failed: 40 Years of Education Reform” available on Amazon and the owner of two condos in Knox Woods.

#NXIVM NXIVM SexTrafficking AllisonMack

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