#i physically cant look at them without wanting to throw them at the wall i love them

[delusional-mishaps]

TEEHEES AND GIGGLES!!!!!!!

and both of them togetehr :3

[amongsnot]

there are baby shoes in your drawer.

you don’t know how long they’ve been in there—a month, a year, perhaps even two—just that they are gently tucked into the right corner, taking space on top of a toddler onesie.

you sit down on the edge of your bed, cradling the shoes between your hands; cupped like a dove. you tentatively pick one up (turning it around with squinted eyes) and read the size on the back. it reads a number that you do not understand.

but you once did, and there are baby shoes in your drawer, and you are not a baby.

you are eighteen. you are eighteen with a job (to a store you’ve never bought a toy from) and a family (that does not love you) and a life (that does not feel like yours).

and the baby shoes did not belong to you eighteen years ago. they are new and shine and your mother would never buy you something this nice.

the baby shoes are chaste in the front from where a little kid took their first steps. the shoes are tied (double knotted with care and worry). the shoes were put in your bedside table with a precarious sort of caution. the shoes belonged to a baby that was loved, and you did not know that feeling eighteen years ago.

there are baby shoes in your drawer, and they are purple.

you frown and put them on top of your bedside table, next to the tank without fish.

you pull out the onesie that belongs to a toddler next, unfolding it and holding it out in front of you. it has a pun on the front that makes you smile. (“my brother mayde dis shirt!” it reads. then, in a small font underneath. “he cant spel.”)

and you know that this onesie does not belong to you either, because you never had a brother. your parents would rather kill you and then each other before having another kid. your mom still glares at you in the bathroom mirror when she looks at her stretch marks. your dad still forgets to unlock the door when you come home from school.

you would never have a brother; but that’s fine. it’s what you’ve grown accustomed to, after all.

so you would never have a brother, and there is a onesie in your hands.

and there are baby shoes on your bedside table.

you examine the onesie further, checking it for stains or grease marks or rips. you check it for signs that it has been lived in, and you are surprised to see that there are none. this is not the ending you want, though; it is not the ending that the kid with the onesie and the purple shoes deserves.

you run a hand through the neck hole and pull at the cloth from the inside, desperately searching for a sign that this kid had been loved. you glance upwards, through the entryway to your bedroom and at the mirror hanging on the wall in the hallway (there is no physical door to your room. your parents had it removed as soon as they could). you check your own clothes, noting the wrinkled creases and year-old stains. you look at the onesie in your hands and search for everything that you don’t recognize: grass stains from playing outside and food stains from yummy meals. rips from growth spurts and baby drool.

there is nothing, and you come to the terrifying realization that this kid will grow up to be just like you.

the world does not need another one of you.

perhaps you should do something about that. stop it before it happens.

subconsciously, you run a hand through the hole for the neck and check the inside, and then you run a hand through the sleeves, pushing something hard and sharp out of the other end.

you pull your hand out and grab the card, and you pull your hand away from it just to leave a red stain, but you do not care because youve had babysitter who have done worse damage.

(“happy fifth birthday poof!” the card reads, accompanied by a small doodle of a balloon.)

there are three lines that have been scribbled out, before the writer finally decided on a meek “i love you.” and your hand shakes. you can feel a tear run down your cheek, landing on the card next to a similar water stain.

you throw the card across the room and bury your face into the piece of clothing. you don’t know why you’re crying now, when you’ve never cried once in your whole life. you don’t know why you recognize the hand writing on the card. you don’t know why you know what the three lines scribbled out say (“i’m going to miss you.” “it’s better this way!” “you’re going to do great things, i wish i could be there to watch.”).

you don’t know why you bought a purple onesie with a card addressed to a person you don’t know.

you don’t know why you don’t know.

all you know is that there is a card on the floor of your bedroom, and a purple onesie in your lap.

and a pair of baby shoes on your bedside table.

[wazzappp]

Alright I figure since Lisa gets her little redux / refresher so does Gabe!

Just a quick refresher so you don't have to scroll all the way back down that tag: Gabe was really REALLY sick and Robbie was getting desperate. The Connections (bioweapon company. A rival to Umbrella Corporation) reached out under the guise of a group wanting to test a new experimental medical treatment. Robbie hates the idea of being away from his brother but Gabe is DYING and they aren't even asking him to pay anything. So they ship Gabe out, do their testing with exposing him to the E series mold (they want to see if Eveline can manipulate the biologies of other people so they introduce him as a friend who needs help. Eveline is so excited to have a real friend to run around with, so she makes him able to run around. His mental disabilities remain but his physical disabilities are basically gone.) and he's better than ever! They get him back on the ship (new facility for more testing. They aren't really planning on returning him to Robbie i mean Robbies just some kid what the hell is he gonna do [<- lol. lmao]). When Eveline throws her tantrum and crashes the ship. Theres about a three month period (instead of three years. i really don't know what would happen to Robbie if he went that long without Gabe) until Robbie pieces together stuff from their video calls and news of a crashed liner in Louisiana and GOES. Thats where the games plot starts.

In the actual RE7 part of this AU Gabe is having. A BAD fucking time. Essentially being Mia's replacement he gets the great privilege of being forced to slam his brother into walls, stab him and cut his arm off (for the small small price of an axe to the neck some shots to the chest and a lifetime of trauma).

(That blood loss is hitting hard buddy you don't look so good)

During the opening I think Robbie is just thinking that if he can get them out of there then things will be ok and thats what keeps him going instead of just breaking completely.

Gabe is having a much better time in RE8. He's a bit wary of his abilities (basically Rose's in reverse. He creates little bulbs and if they have enough time to grow he uses them as an anchor to develop independent mold colonies that he can manipulate). Eventually (after just. a LITTLE freakout [which I kind of want to draw]). He eventually reasons out that this isn't so bad because 1. he is very much in control of this rather than being controlled and 2. It allows him to protect his brother. You cant tell me Gabe wouldn't feel SO BAD about what happened while he was being controlled. Every time he looks at the scars from Robbies spontaneous amputation via chainsaw he feels so absolutely terrible about it.

In RE8 Gabe's big thing is that he wants to KEEP ROBBIE SAFE and BE USEFUL. He absolutely hates seeing him get hurt, inevitable as it is. He doesen't trust Lisa until he sees Lady D go down (she was telling the truth about how to kill her own MOTHER that must mean something). But he doesen't really end up liking her until he sees how well she covers Robbies back. The verdict for future judgement is still out but for now the best path is to trust her.

[blood-injections]

show pony hcs?

WOO SHOW PONY YEAH OF COURSE

They're Dr D's actual nephew and grew up visiting him and being a little helper at the radio station he's had since the nineties.

No sense of self preservation honestly, okay so this is like my favorite headcanon for them just because its silly and they're a badass. So they grew up visiting LA but dr d took them away from it before the and of the wars so they never lived in it while it turned into battery city, and they've never been captured, but they have indeed been to battery city. Because they've broken in. Solely to be gay do crime. They sneak into the city to graffiti shit and flirt with pornodroids and recruit them to throw bricks into windows with them(not of apartments or townhomes, just the research and bli buildings and occasional business). They wear their skates or bring a skateboard, they dont drive, half the time they bring a boombox, blasting the fucking beastie boys or something in the middle of the night while they skate around the city, and somehow theyve never been noticed by bli or had to fight their way out, theyre crazy and i love them

Punk as shit, you don't grow up with your cool uncle that was openly gay in the nineties without learning that capitalism sucks and cops aren't your friends. Its a big part of why they sneak into the city and be a nuisace, becuse they want to do more than just fight from the zones, because that city was their home once, before bli took it over and put up the walls, and unlike most joys who hate battery city and just want to burn it to the ground, pony wants to save it. They want to cause a more direct change, something physical thats there in the morning, so that the juvie halls and city folk can see it and see bli working to scrub away grafiiti and fix shattered windows and they'll all know theres someone else out there that doesn't agree with bli, fighting for them and maybe theyll be inspired to do more too. And its why they recruit the droids or juvie halls they come across and put a brick in their hand, because the power that comes with that, the inspiration, it spreads, because Pony's read the stories about the Stonewall riots and knows that if enough of the city could unite to fucking fight from the inside, they could make a real change.

Cherri's their older brother, not biologically but they dont care, they were both too young to fight in the wars but thats where they met, when dr d was looking after them and took cherri in when he lost his dad, who was dr d's friend. They grew up in the zones together, learned to shoot together, figured out out who they are together, they're fuckin siblings.

Their gender is whatever annoys you the most at the moment, it also depends on who theyre around around, like with Poison they're like im ur girlfriend vs with Cherri like yeah im your brother. They dont care what people call them.

Childhood best friends with Newsie but you'd never know it. They fight like siblings but they're thick as theives. When the wars started they were kids that thought theyd never see eachother again, but they reunited years later as killjoys

They're crazy friendly, like terrifyingly outgoing. They love everybody and everybody loves them but they manage to stay pretty humble about it

Theyr'e super dramatic and LOVE to gossip

Horrible artist, cant draw for shit. Great at collages though, they make all the zines and posters for radio shows. You can tell when they made one because there's glitter on it.

Has a helmet. Never wears it.

Proud polycule girlfriend of jet star and party poison

[bronzewool]

Shadow & Bones Review- The Rambling Edition

I'm gonna quickly throw random thoughts at the wall that I didn't include in my initial review, either because it would have gone on several side tangents or were just too minor to bring up.

First of all, the book does a poor job of describing how sickly Alina is supposed to be. The most we get are scenes of her being described as scrawny or the weakest in her unit. This is superficial writing because scrawny does not mean ill and is only brought up when comparing herself to the other girls Mal does find attractive. Also, she's the cartographer, so she doesn't need to be the strongest.

It's not until she gets a makeover from Genya, the royal Tailor, that we actually get an idea of how ragged she is and how years of unknowingly suppresing her magic has physically harmed her body. Because up until that point, the author refuses to use any negative descriptors.

The author wants Alina to be portrayed as sickly, but only in the stereotypical YA way, that she's plain in comparison to a cast of supermodels. I've read so many good adult and kids' books that give their characters diverse physical descriptors, beautiful and ugly, or even painted an entire character's backstory so vividly without actually describing their facial features.

The biggest reason I can't stand YA anymore is its strange obsession with beauty standards, but not in a way certain people have certain types, but in the generic "conventionally beautiful" vs the "ugly but not actually ugly" way, which means nothing to me. You don't need to sell how attractive a character is, you just need to sell the idea this character is attractive in the eyes of this character, even if you personally don't find them attractive.

Genya becomes Alina's best friend at the school, but their relationship is very one-sided and revolves solely around giving Alina various makeovers (Also in the typical YA way of "We have to give the main girl a glow up, but she's not allowed to enjoy it otherwise she's vain and we cant have that."). Beauty means everything to the Grisha, but it gets old real quick when you remember there are kids dying in a literal war zone while Alina is worried over what she's gonna wear to the ball.

Alina makes two other friends who stick by her side after the school turns on her, but Alina is so dismissive of them for being valley girls, it's actually funny how hypocritical she is.

The book also flip-flops between wanting to portray Alina as a loser and popular. A mean girl hates Alina from day one for gaining the attention of The Darkling, and picks a fight with her in their hand-to-hand combat class. It starts off as a typical duel with the more experienced mean girl winning, but Alina gains the upperhand through hardwork and determination. Mean girl then fights dirty by using magic and the teacher spots this and puts a stop to it. The twist is fine because normally, the teachers are oblivious and the bullying goes unnoticed, so that's refreshing, but it makes you wonder what the point of the chapter was. She was only introduced that same chapter and is gone for the rest of the book. Even the other stuck-up mean girls didn't like her, so who cares? Alina getting good at martial arts doesn't even come back later on in the book because she wins the final battle using sun magic.

There are wonderful moments in this book, particularly the chapter when Alina finally figures out why she can't use her magic and has a heartbreaking revelation when she remembers suppressing her powers for the first time as a child to stay with Mal at the orphanage, and how tired she feels clinging to a boy that will never look at her the same way she looks at him. The warmth she feels finally letting Mal go and living for herself is such a breath of fresh air you can practically feel the burden she's been carrying all these years lift from her shoulders as she finally summons that small ball of light.

The book has good moments like that, but it takes a great premise and ruins it by stuffing our main character into a box and shipping her off to high school.

Also, the fact Alina is a cartographer is never mentioned again after the first act. She has some artistic skills for drawing maps but it's not important to the plot or her character.

I have no complaints about the The Darkling, except his name is, The Darkling, and he's an immortal teenager. Anything problematic about him I love. Also, Mal is a dick. Just saying.

[xoxo-teddybear]

What Have I Done? - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: Angst, Physical injuries, cursing

Summary: An argument gone out of hand. Y/N just wanted Katsuki to be home more. They’re married and yet she barely sees him throughout the week. When she finally speaks on her hurt feelings, she gets a reaction she definitely wasn’t expecting.

Chapter 1 -> Chapter 2

A/N:.....I cried while writing this.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

‘He’s gone already. Again. Like always.’

Y/N had awoken to another empty bed. Her husband’s side of the mattress remained cold and empty. This wasn’t anything new. It’s been like this for the past few months. She would wake up alone, eat breakfast alone, spend her day alone, eat dinner alone, and go back to sleep at the end of the day...alone.

It’s not that Katsuki is intentionally ignoring Y/N. He loves her with his everything, he truly does! But villains never rest and neither does he. He’s so preoccupied with hero work that when he does get a day off, his friends drag him away to a bar or game night. Y/N always ran through his head but she had always been so understanding. And besides, she knows how busy the life of a pro is. She used to be one so she gets it. Right?

Wrong. She doesn’t get it. Because even when she was a pro, her and Katsuki always found time for each other. And ever since said man made her quit, claiming he could take care of both of them easily and he would feel better knowing his beloved is safe at home, they’ve seen each other less and less. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Y/N was willing to quit her dream because she found a new dream in Katsuki. She always imagined that being his little housewife would give them more time together but the opposite of that came true. Now she sits in the big empty house with no company for hours on end.

Her sadness builds up every day. She misses her husband. She tries to be an understanding wife but at this point, it’s like he’s not even trying to make an effort to see her. It’s like he’s settled to just coming home to her sleeping form and waking up to her in the exact same state, leaving before he can witness her do anything else. He should understand her though, no? I mean, she had brought it up to him in a very casual way and so he never took it seriously, but she’s mentioned it before. He should have a pretty vivid image of how shes been feeling. Right?

After 6 months of loneliness and being ‘Katsuki-deprived,’ Y/N made her move to speak to her husband about her feelings. She already imagined the outcome. An argument due to Katsuki’s brash behavior and her ‘never back down’ attitude, sad times bringing in the silent treatment for the two of you up until the both of you give in and forgive each other due to the love you have. Finally ending in a compromise. Y/N released a heavy breath as she looked at the time.

1:36 a.m. Just a few more minutes until Katsuki’s home.

—

He was pissed. 3 large scale bank robberies, 10 villain-wannabe fights, an argument with his publicist about his ‘out of line attitude,’ and Deku replacing him on a random ass billboard. The last detail wouldn’t have mattered if it was anybody else but the fact that it was Deku had him riled up. He just wanted to go home to a quiet house with his beautiful wife and admire her gorgeous, slumbering state. However that was not what he was greeted with.

Katsuki grumbled as he unlocked the front door and walked in. He noticed the lights were still on and saw Y/N still awake, seated on the couch. On any other day, he’d be elated to see his wife was still up. They’d talk and cuddle and go to sleep together. If he was lucky, they’d both make love until the sun rose. But tonight, that wouldn’t be happening. He wanted a quiet house with his sleeping wife. Not..whatever was about to happen. He sighed as he dropped his bag at the front door and sloppily placed his keys in the glass bowl near the door.

“What’re you doing up dumbass?” He asked as he walked to the kitchen, not even bothering to take off his shoes. He needed a drink.

“I was waiting for you, Katsuki. I just wanted to talk to you about something,” you said in a soft voice, hoping it would suppress his for sure incoming anger. Katsuki closed the fridge with a kick to the heavy door and chugged down a quarter of his drink.

“I’m not in the mood. Had a shitty day and I wanna sleep. Just go to bed.” He said sternly while trying to finish his beer as fast as he could.

“Don’t you think I would’ve done that hours ago? I wouldn’t have stayed up and waited for you if this wasn’t important. Please Katsuki, I really wanna talk.” Bakugou was beginning to grow annoyed. Why wouldn’t you just drop it already? He squeezed his bottle hard enough for it too crack before he spoke with a louder voice.

“Y/N! You’re not listening! I’m tired. I had a horrible day and I just want to sleep. I don’t want to talk, I don’t want to stay up anymore, and I don’t want to listen to whatever bullshit you’re about to complain and bitch about like you always do!” He screamed. His words made your jaw drop.

“Not listening?! That’s all I do! All I do is listen to your every command so that you come home happy-“

“Well it looks like you failed today!” He said, cutting you off.

“Quit interrupting! And what was it that you said?! All I do is bitch and complain?! I’m trying to talk to you about something serious here Katsuki!” You pleaded, still hoping he would give in and listen. And he did...just not in the way you’d expect.

“Fine then! If this’ll get you to quit being an annoying ass waste of time, then speak! Talk! What the hell do you want?!” He asked, screaming at you, furious at all the dramatics you’ve brought up in one night.

His words kind of stung. ‘Annoying ass? Waste of time? Is this what he thinks I am?’ You grew silent at his insults and Katsuki seethed even more.

“Oh what? I scream at you and you bitch up? Toughen up Y/N, jeez. Quit acting like a baby! Tell me what you wanted to say!” He yelled.

“.......I just....I just wanted you to spend some time with me. .....Be home more.” You said in a quiet and broken voice. You looked down to the now very interesting floor as you played with your hands.

“Seriously? This shit again? I’m a pro-hero, Y/N! I’m busy! I’m not gonna drop saving lives just because your brat ass wants someone to notice you! Since when were you such an attention whore?” He asked while rolling his neck to relieve his strained muscles. Your eyes widen at the ground due to his words and your head snapped back up to face him.

“A-attention whore? I-...I just want my husband to stop working so much. I don’t know..maybe have a day off or two!” She said with a crinkled nose as you screamed.

“I do have days off, Moron. It’s why I’m not overworked, ever thought about that?!” He screamed back.

“And you spend those days off away from me! I’m not trying to act like the world revolves around me but I would hope my own husband would spend a day with me instead of his friends that he ALWAYS sees because you ALL WORK TOGETHER!” You argued. You made a valid point and even Katsuki knew that, but he was too stubborn to admit defeat. He was still tired but he had enough energy to put you back in your place. His eyes popped as a vein grew on his neck.

“Well- WELL YOU’RE ONCE AGAIN JUST BITCHING AND COMPLAINING LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO! I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU’RE SO UPSET!” He screamed.

“Don’t understand?! You know what? I know you don’t because you never listen to-“

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, I WASNT DONE TALKING! ALL YOU DO IS SIT AROUND THE HOUSE, LAZING AROUND, DOING NOTHING BUT TRY TO ARGUE WITH-“

“LAZING AROUND?!” You shouted in disbelief. “WHO MAKES YOUR MEAL PREP THE NIGHT BEFORE SO YOU CAN ENJOY IT AT WORK AND IN THE MORNING? WHO CLEANS THE ENTIRE HOUSE EVERYDAY WHILE YOU’RE GONE? WHO MAKES SURE YOU HAVE A FULL FRIDGE, CLEAN HOUSE, GOOD FOOD, AND A HAPPY LIFE? ME KATSUKI! ME!”

“Happy life? DO I LOOK HAPPY TO YOU BITCH?! NEWSFLASH, IM NOT! SO CONGRATS Y/N! YOU FAILED ONCE AGAIN! AND WHO GIVES A FUCK IF YOU PLAY MAID WHILE IM AWAY?! IM BUSY SAVING THE FUCKING WORLD! THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS BE A GOOD WIFE SINCE YOU CANT EVEN BE A FUCKING PRO ANYMORE!” He insulted again.

“because of FUCKING YOU!” You argued once more.

“I DID IT FOR YOU!” He said while throwing his bottle to the wall, causing it to shatter. “I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOUR UNGRATEFUL BITCH ASS! I PAY THE BILLS! I BRING HOME THE CASH! I GIVE YOU THE MONEY TO BUY ALL THE FUCKING FOOD, CLOTHES, AND ANY OTHER STUPID SHIT YOU WANT! AND ON TOP OF THAT, I STUFF YOUR STUPID CUNT TO PLEASURE YOUR UNGRATEFUL ASS. AT THIS POINT, YOU’RE JUST A WALKING HOLE FOR ME TO USE!”

His words hurt. They broke your heart. Did he really feel this way? If so, why was he even with you anymore. You notice a smirk grow on his face at your bewildered state. He looked as if he just won something. However, the smirk dropped into a scowl once he saw your eyes begin to pool with tears.

“Oh great! Cry! Go ahead! Just shed your fucking tears like you always do! I’m going to bed! Come join me when you’re done being an annoying bitch.” He said and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he began to walk away. You didn’t want the conversation to go this way and there was no conclusion. You needed this to be resolved now. You just wanted your husband back. You reached out to stop him from walking but the unforeseen happened.

“Katsuki..don’t walk away from thi-“

“DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME!” He said and smacked your arms away with a burning palm. Without realizing, Katsuki began to spark his quirk and so when he went in to push you away, he burned your forearm.

A loud blast and smoke filled the room and your screams of pain invaded his ears. The sound made a shocked face grow on him as he quickly turned to see the damaged he had caused. His heart sank as he saw you crying while holding your burnt arm with your other hand. You were slightly hunched over in pain as you took notice of the damage that had been caused. That he caused.

“Y/N!” Bakugou softly shouted as he ran to you. He wanted to help but before he could even lay a finger on you, you flinched. The action caused him to hesitate and hold himself back. He ran to the kitchen sink to get a cold rag and he brought it back to you. “Baby! I am so sor-“

You pushed him away and off of you as you quickly walked to your bedroom with a shadow casted over your eyes. Tears still flowed down your cheeks as sniffles could be heard from your cherry red nose. Katsuki couldn’t believe what he just did and ran to follow you.

“Y/N! Please listen! I didn’t mean it! I don’t know how that happened Teddy Bear but I swear I didn’t mean it! I swear I didn’t mean any of the bullshit I said! I’m sor-“

*SLAM* *click!*

Katsuki realized he followed you out the kitchen, through the living room, up the stairs, and to the entrance of the master bedroom you both shared before you slammed the door and locked it right in his face.

“Baby! Please open the door!” He said while knocking in a very rushed manner. He wanted nothing more than to help you and treat the damage he caused to his beloved wife. He had royally fucked up. He began turning and jiggling the locked knob in an attempt to get it open but failed. “Please Y/N! I have to take care of you and that burn. I’m so sorry but please let me in!”

On the other side of the door, you pressed your back against it as you held in your sobs and slid to the bottom. You pulled both lips in to conceal your voice while you held your wrist to examine the burn on your arm. It was so bad. Your skin turned an angry shade of red as it blistered and bled. You were dripping blood all over your carpeted floor and so you ran to the master bathroom in the bed room.

You turned on the sink and placed your forearm under the cold, running water. The water soothed it a bit but it wasn’t enough to cover the pain. You turned off the sink and grabbed a hand rag as you patted down on your wound. You took out the first aid kit and cared for yourself. You had to take the alcohol to clean it and sucked in a breath before you poured the solution over the burn. You screamed as it seemed to have hurt 10x more. After dabbing cotton over it, you wrapped it in bandages and took a breath of relief.

‘What just happened?’ You thought to yourself.

The entire time, Katsuki was still begging for you to open up. He heard your scream and grew frantic. He banged on the door and cried for you, still hoping, praying, that you would let him in. When nothing happened, he resorted back to calling out for you but to no avail.

About an hour went by and it was almost 4 in the morning. You sat on the bed with your arms holding your knees to your chest. You stared at the wrap as the memories of what went down tonight flashed through your brain.

‘Waste of time...brat ass...attention whore...ungrateful...annoying bitch.’

His words struck you right in your heart. Cruel thoughts began to fill your head.

‘He doesn’t love me. He hates me. I’m worthless.’ Your thoughts would’ve continued until a quiet knock snapped you out of you mind.

“....Y/N?...Baby?” It was Katsuki of course, but a softer version of him. A broken one. “..I don’t know if you’re listening or if you’re awake..but I need you to know that I’m so so sorry.” It was easy to hear his muffled and staggered voice that exposed his tears and sobs. “If I could turn back time right now, I would do tonight all over again, I swear. I would’ve came home and listened to you. And we could’ve talked things out. We would’ve came out of this problem being a stronger couple than we were before...because that’s what we always do. We always make it out of the dark together..because we’re a team..and I need you. .....Please...please don’t leave me Y/N. I love you so much. ‘M so sorry that I hurt you..that I burned you..that I’m such a terrible husband. But I promise you I’ll fix everything in the morning...................Teddy Bear?”

He didn’t know it, but you were listening. You heard every word but refrained from speaking. You knew that the second you did, you’d break down and go crawling back to him....but you didn’t want to do that. You wanted to leave. He physically burned you and you wanted to leave. You were going to sleep for a few hours, and when you would awaken, you would pack a bag and leave. And so, you began your plan and tried to get some sleep as tear streaks marked your face. It would all be over soon.

You woke up to the morning sun.

6:50 a.m.

You rose out of bed and rubbed at your puffy eyes. You quietly got ready in the bathroom and applied the slightest bit of makeup to look more presentable. You took out a pair of shoes and tossed them to the center of the room. You were in your closet and pulled out a bag. You stuffed it full of a few clothes for you to wear, you couldn’t stay here. Not after what he did. You fought through the pain as you pulled on your jacket and placed your shoes on. You wiped your tears as you picked up your purse and got ready to leave. You were going to stay in a hotel. Didnt matter where or how expensive. You just needed to get away.

Finally, you walked to the exit of the bedroom. You took a breath before you slowly turned the knob and was greeted with the sight of a sleeping Bakugou. He had slept in the hallway in front of the bedroom, still wearing the same clothes from the night before. His knees were scrunched up with his arms resting there to be used as a pillow. He layed his head atop of his arms and as you looked down into his hands, you saw the rag. The exact rag from the argument. The rag that he attempted to use to help you. Little did you know, Bakugou hadn’t planned on getting rid of it until you let him use it to help you. He wanted nothing more than to fix his mistake and cater to you and your wound.

You shook your head as you felt tears began to fill your eyes but you refused to let them fall. You took a step and sadly awoken the exact man you were trying to avoid. Bakugou had quickly woken up when he heard the slightest noise and was blessed with the beauty that is you. He looked up at you with wide eyes and a small smile.

“Y/N...” was what he whispered before he quickly got up to run to you.

“Y/N!” He ecstatically said with a hint of relief. He was about to wrap him arms around you but you kept a hand at his chest to keep him at bay. “Baby?...”

Bakugou looked at you with hurt and confused eyes when you didn’t welcome his embrace. Even when you were mad at him, you still allowed him to hold you so what gives? He looked at you and your attire. He noticed your jacket and shoes and saw you holding a bag. “W-what are you doing?”

You walked away from him but he snatched your wrist to make you turn to face him. “Y/N! What’s going on?!” He frantically asked with crazed eyes. You snatched your wrist back and ran down the stairs and he copied your actions. He followed you into the living room until he grabbed your wrist once more. You tried to pull away again but found it harder because this time, he gripped it tight.

“W-where are you going baby?”

“Dont call me that.”

“What? Why? Baby, please tell me what’s going on.” He begged as he squeezed your wrist.

“What’s going on? Are you serious? What does it look like? I’m leaving!” Bakugou’s eyes went wide once more and shook his head.

“N-no! No, why!?”

“Why?! Look at my arm!” You screamed.

“I know! I know and I’m so sorry! But..but you don’t have to go! I can fix you up, I’ll take you to recovery girl, I will bring you to the best hospitals around the world to fix that for you! Just please don’t go!” He bargained and offered everything but you weren’t budging.

“It’s not just the burn Bakugou.” You deadpanned with a nonchalant face. His heart felt heavy after hearing your voice refer to him with his family name.

“..I-it’s Katsuki! Your Katsuki! It’s Suki, baby please!” Bakugou stepped closer as he cried once more but you backed away again. His hold on your wrist still strong as his fingers played with the ring on your hand, trying to calm himself down and remind himself that you are still his wife.

You shook your head at his pleading. “Bakugou. You burned me. But not only that, you’ve neglected me for months.”

“I know that! And I’m sorry! I will spend just as much time off of work to make it up to you, I swear I will, I promise!” He once again bargained.

“It’s too late.”

“No it’s not, please, it can’t be!”

“It is Bakugou-“

“KATSUKI! ....please...please don’t call me that. I’m your Katsuki,” he said with a whimpering voice. At this point you felt the tears come through, but you still didn’t allow them to fall.

“Katsuki...I can’t stay here. Too much damage has been done.” You said with a soft voice. Bakugou continued to shake his head ‘no,’ but you already made up your mind. You used your wind quirk in your hand and blew his grip off your wrist. You took the quick opportunity to walk to the door but Bakugou grabbed your bag off your shoulder in a childish panic and attempt to get you to stay.

“Hey!-“

“Please Y-Y/N! Please don’t leave me! I- I know I’ve been a terrible husband! I’m sorry! B-But I promise I’ll do better. I’ll stay at home more, I’ll spend more time with you, Please!”

“Katsu-“

“I’ll buy you whatever you want! I’ll get you all the expensive brands, I’ll find you all the best jewelry, I’ll give you all the money in the world! I’ll give you the whole world! Please stay! I love you so much Y/N!”

“Katsuki, give me back my bag,” you tried to reach for it but Bakugou kept it away from you and pulled you in with one arm and held you in a tight embrace as he cried on your shoulder.

“Please...you can’t do this to me. I need you. I love you! I’ll do better! I’ll be a better husband, I swear..just please don’t go.” He softly spoke with a broken voice and soft hiccups. It was wrong for you to do this, but you sighed and pretended to forgive him as you wrapped your arms around his torso. You hugged him tight and he fell for it as he openly sobbed now. His other arm that held your bag came to wrap around your waist but before it could, you snatched the bag out of his hold and pushed him away. You ran to the door and held a tight grip on the knob as you picked up your car keys. You saw Katsuki attempt to run back to you but you created a strong barrier of wind to protect you. “IM SORRY Y/N! PLEASE DONT!”

You took off your ring and tossed it to him through the barrier. He was quick to catch it and hold it right in fear of losing it. He had to find a way to get it back on your finger. “No..baby...Teddy Bear please!”

“....I’ll send you the divorce papers....Goodbye Katsuki.”

With that, you walked out of the door, still keeping the barrier alive. Once you started the car, you dispersed of the wind and Bakugou opened the door and ran to your car.

“Y/N wait! Please!” He cried out but he was too late. You pulled out of the driveway and drove off quickly down the street. He watched your car go as he began hyperventilating and tugging at his ash blonde locks. He ran back inside the house with your ring in hand as he looked for his phone. He found it on the kitchen island and quickly dialed your number. Of course, it went straight to voicemail but that didn’t stop him from calling about 50x more.

“This-...this has to be some stupid dream. A fucking nightmare...” he said as he tried to hide in denial. “Yeah...a nightmare. This is what it is...I’ll..I’ll wake up soon and she’ll be by my side in the morning...sleeping peacefully...and I’ll take the whole week off and spend it with her. She won’t be mad, we’ll be happy like we always are. S-She won’t leave me.”

Bakugou had an insane smile on his face with eyes of distraught on him. He clumsily made his way back to his bedroom where he flopped onto the large mattress and tried to get some sleep. He would sleep the whole day away if it meant you’d still be by his side when he woke up. The ring you abandoned was held tight in the palm of his hand as he held it close to his chest. His sobs overcame him but did aid in his journey to slumber. Eventually, he knocked out and a smile of bliss adorned his face as he assumed you would still be there in the morning.....oh how wrong he was.

The very next day, he woke up at 5:30 like he always did and quickly looked to your side of the bed. It was cold and empty. He was lonely. The exact same feeling you got everytime you woke up without seeing him for the past 6 months.

6 months. You’ve been married for 4 years and together for 8. Out of those 8 years, Bakugou spent 6 months neglecting you..and now...he lost you.

He stared at the empty space and bawled his eyes out like a baby as he screamed. He got out of bed and walked to the kitchen. Maybe you were cooking breakfast! You weren’t. Kitchen was empty. He ran to the living room! Maybe you were just watching some TV and reading a book, looking all cute and domesticated like you usually did. No, you weren’t there either. Bakugou checked every room in the house and when he couldn’t find you..he snapped.

His heart beated at a rapid pace as he trashed the entire house. Breaking windows, flipping desks, smashing furniture. He used his quirk to create blasts and burn marks into the walls and floors of the house. He did everything to get his frustrations out. The entire time he shouted and cried as rivers of tears flowed down his cheeks.

When he was done, he sat in the middle of the destroyed living room, laying his back against the flipped couch. He sat with his knees scrunched up as he hunched over, staring at the ground. His nose and eyes and basically his entire face grew puffy and red. His hair was a mess and so was he. Silent tears continued to drop, but his throat was too dry and hurt far too much for him to make anymore noise. However, he did fight through the pain to say one final thing:

“What have I done?”

A/N: hi cubsss! So a lot of you may know that my very first post, writing piece, and short story (He’s Lost) was created around angst, a breakup, and the fact that the triggering point was Bakugou physically hurting Y/N. I’ve been thinking about it and I HATE MY WRITING IN THE FIRST POST! It was terrible! Why tf did y’all like it so much?😭 And so, I’ve created a new piece revolving around the same elements, sorta as a way to check my progress. I hope you enjoyed!

ALSO!!! If you guys like this enough, I’m willing to turn it into a small yandere short story if you Cubs are down for that. Let me know and I’ll make it happen! Love you Cubs! See you next time🧸💗

[rommahh]

I Carry Your Heart

Harry Styles x Reader

Word Count: 4k

{Ahhhh ok so this is my first work like ever. There will definitely be a second part because ive got more to say and it needs a second part. I hope whoever sees and reads this imagine enjoys it. I appreciate comments, likes, reblogs, ideas on what could go into the story, and any form of help and redirection as to how i should write things. Much love, R.}.

Part two

All Y/N wanted tonight was to hang out with her boyfriend, eat a mass amount of junk food, and watch a marvel movie or two. That was all she wanted and that was all she asked of her boyfriend. Instead of any of that happening, she found herself sitting on the nasty kitchen island of her boyfriend's frat at a party that she was trying to avoid going to.

This party was supposedly ‘the party of the year.’ The last rager before finals and then christmas break. Y/N had spent the whole week studying and finishing up end of semester projects hence the want for a chill night. When Harry came to her saying his frat was throwing a party tonight and that he just HAD to be here, Y/N didn't feel like she had a choice but to let him go. She came because she thought this would be the only time she would be able to have some time with Harry after a long week of barely seeing each other. With two vastly different majors, the couple wasnt able to find a lot of time in the middle of school work to make time for just the two of them. Obviously her hopes of quality time with her man were futile because here she was sitting by herself in the kitchen of the frat while Harry drank and got high with his friends in other parts of the house.

Of course she was disappointed. She felt a knot in her throat and a weight on her chest just sitting there in that kitchen. Her white claw was warm now- not that it was any cold when she opened it. She was starting to form a small headache from the too loud music and the ache in her heart was growing.

She stood from the countertop on the search for her boyfriend, hoping he wasn't too far gone from sober. Wiping the back of her jeans from anything that was left on the island, she began walking around the house. She doesn't remember the last time the two of them spent time together by themselves. Of course they occasionally ate dinner together in the dining hall but they were normally surrounded by friends. Y/N wanted to be alone with her boyfriend to talk and bask in his presence.

After pushing through groups of partying humans, she found Harry and at least ten other people sitting around playing some sort of drinking game.

“Y/N! Where have you been?” Luca, one of Harry's frat brothers yelled out to her from the circle. Luca was cool, he was one of the only tolerable boys in this frat aside from Harry. Hearing his girlfriend's name, Harry turned around from where he sat on the ground and reached out for his girlfriend to sit beside him. Much to Y/N’s dismay, Harry was wasted. His eyes were half mass and his words bumped and slurred together. “We are playing truth or dare, wanna play?” Luca asked.

“I don't wanna play but Ill sit and watch.” Sitting next to her boyfriend, she grabbed one of his hands holding it in her lap. She was annoyed at him but it did her no good to show it when he was this drunk.

This game of truth or dare was childish. Dares of licking people's shoes and taking multiple shots had been done and truths about money and relationships were being spilled among the group. It had finally become Harry’s turn to do something, making Y/N tense.

“Ok Harry, I dare you to…” One drunk frat boy started looking around the room trying to come up with something clever. His eyes landed on a pretty girl in the room, Yara, a stuck up girl who for sure got her way no matter what. “I dare you to kiss the hottest girl in the room- obviously not your girlfriend because that defeats the purpose.” The frat boy smirked knowing what his intentions were. Everyone in the group giggles and gasped shocked by the dare but ready to see what was going to go down. Y/N’s brows furrowed as she became angry with the stupid dare.

The ache in her chest seemed to tip over the edge when she felt her boyfriend in the room move to stand up. She grabbed at the bottom of his shirt as a way of stopping him. Harry halted his movements to look down at his girlfriend. He giggled a little.

“You’re not actually going to do this right?” She asked Harry with wide eyes of shock. Harry laughed at her like she made a joke, making her heart hurt even more.”Harry I do not want you to do this just take the shot and lose the dare.” Her tone held warning.

“Don't be silly of course I'm going to. It's just a dare, nothing serious. Don't be so clingy.” He stood walking over to Yara and planted a wet kiss on her mouth. Yara gripped Harry’s shirt and kissed him harder. The kiss went on for a few more seconds, the room absolutely silent out of shock. Harry stepped back from Yara slightly sobering up from his actions. Yara smirked at Y/N, hand gliding down the front of Harry's shirt.

Y/N stood from the seat she was in and scoffed. Scoffed because she should've known Harry would do something like this. Scoffed because it hurt to see her boyfriend do something so careless without any regard for his girl's feelings. She pulled herself together, feeling her throat tighten once again. She was quick to leave the room and down the hall of the frat.

Harry's clumsy steps could be heard from behind her as he mumbled her name. Or at least he tried to. He was still so out of it, his words not making much sense. Y/N was crying now, the strength that she had slowly dissolving as she walked further away from her boyfriend.

“Y/N wait. P-please wait. I cant-” Harry stumbled over his legs behind her falling into the grass of the front yard. The girl couldn't help but turn around looking at her stupid boyfriend. She was choking on sobs now. She wasn't crying over a measly little kiss but over an extreme amount of burnout from school and exhaustion from simply existing. She was crying because her boyfriend ignored her boundaries, crushing and erasing the boundaries she had set in their relationship. Harry tried reaching for her once she had stopped walking. His hand clasped around her wrist, he laid his head down on her shoulder. He hated seeing her cry even if he was too drunk to see why.

“Baby don't leave, Im-Im Sorry.” He hiccuped and burped due to the alcohol. Y/N felt her rage build. Shoving Harry off of her, she crossed her arms across her chest as a way to shield herself from Harry physically. He was hurt by her distance and the wall she put up around her.

“You're an idiot Harry. An idiot!” her sobs grew louder, some stray party goers watching in amusement- some even snapchatting it for shits and giggles. “I didnt want you to kiss her and you did. What provoked you to think that was ok? All I wanted was for us to hang out tonight and just be us and you did this!” She was yelling now. Her hurt is beyond her now. Anger and rage simmered throughout her body making her head dizzy and her fingers curl within themselves. She didnt like being angry. It wasn't an emotion she liked acting on, it felt impersonal.

“Baby I don't under-” Before Harry could finish his sentence he was barfing at his feet. Y/N stepped back disgusted with her boyfriend. She couldn't even feel remorseful because of how angry she was. Luca, the frat brother from earlier, caught up with Harry and his girl only to find Harry doubled over heaving. Luca wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders.

“I'm sorry Luca but I can't do this tonight. Can you please make sure he gets some water and goes to bed. I-I can't do it tonight, I wish I could but I can't.” Y/N didn't want to leave her boyfriend in this state but she didn't deserve this. She wasn't going to care for her drunk boyfriend when all she wanted to do was care for herself. Selfishly, she enjoyed seeing him this way because of the anger he caused her.

Luca shook his head in understandment. “Of course, I'm really sorry for tonight. He's going to seriously regret this in the morning, especially since it will be circulating all over snapchat in the morning.” Luca waved to Y/N then proceeded to pull Harry into the house. Harry called out for Y/N not wanting to be away from her but Luca pulled him harder.

Harry woke up the next morning feeling like the bottom of a dumpster. He wasn't shocked by that. He knew he got trashed last night, he had planned to. He, just like Y/N, spent all week studying and completing projects while also fulfilling certain responsibilities for his frat. He wanted one night to be a normal teen. So he drank and drank and drank and maybe even smoked some weed. As he tried to recall last night's events he came up with nothing. He didn't understand why Y/N wasn't here with him like she normally would after a party on the weekend. They were normally always together during the weekend. A bad feeling loomed over him. He could tell something wasn't right but decided to put his feelings to the side.

He saw a bottle of water beside his bed making him think she was probably here and left early. Chugging the water he started to go through his socials to see if anyone had posted about the party. He had multiple tagged pics and videos in his notifications from snapchat. Way more than he normally would.

The first video he saw was a video of him and Y/N standing in the front yard of the frat house. Turning the volume all the way up he could hear Y/N yelling, it shocked him. She doesn't normally raise her voice, especially not at him. The angle changed showing her face which was red with anger, eyes filled with unshed tears. He could hear her yelling about him kissing someone else. He felt his heart stop. He had kissed someone else? On the next snap was a picture of him keeled over vomiting on his shoes with the caption saying, ‘are yall seeing this shit?’ Harry was embarrassed but he was more concerned than anything.

His head was hurting but it didn't stop him from rolling out of bed, washing up, and putting on a fresh set of clothes. He checked his phone hoping Y/N had messaged him but nothing was there. He walked into the kitchen only to see luca sitting at the counter eating cereal.

“Hey Harry….” Luca said warily. Luca pushed the cereal around his bowl feeling the tension begin to rise in the room. He felt horrible about his friends.

“Luca...what's up?” Harry was confused by Lucas' wariness.

“So do you remember anything about last night?” Luca asked, setting his cereal down in the sink behind him. Harry started playing with the frayed edges of a bracelet Y/N made for him. It had little beads with her name on it. They made them together at an event on campus.

“I don't, I only saw the videos of Y/N screaming at me. I think I fucked up but I- I don't know what happened.” Harry's cheek flushed with even more embarrassment. Luca awkwardly chuckled scratching the back of his neck.

“You got dared to kiss the hottest girl in the room and um actually did it in front of Y/N...even though she didn't want you to. Which led you guys outside and yeah you know the rest...Im sorry dude, I wish I had stopped you.”

“Who- who did I kiss?” Harrys stomach lurched when he heard Yara’s name come out of Lucas' name. Y/N didn't like Yara and it was understandable. Yara has been pining after Harry since their first year of college. Harry couldn't breathe. He felt disgusted with himself. He could only imagine how Y/N was feeling.

Y/N woke up the same morning, eyes puffy and crusty from tears and head hurting. She probably cried herself into dehydration. She was lucky enough to have no roommate because she wouldn't have wanted someone else to see her breakdown. She still couldn't believe last night went down the way it went down. She couldn't tell if she was just being overdramatic or if her emotions were in the right place. She didn't want to be mad at Harry. He was everything to her, she had an odd connection to him. Meeting him during their freshman welcome week they quickly became best friends with a growing romantic connection in the mix. They started dating before Christmas break. They had grown close so fast that he even came home with her to meet her family for the first few days of break.  Even though they were in their junior year of college, Y/N could see them beyond college. She's imagined them getting married, travelling, sharing a home. She saw the whole future with him. She had her doubts though. He was immature just like every other boy in college. He was dumb with his actions and tended to only do things if they benefited him. He had a lot of growing to do as a person, so did she but she wanted to grow with him.

She heard a knock on her door hesitating to answer it because one, it could be Harry, and two, she looked like a wreck. Answering anyways, she was met with a very sorry looking Harry holding a small coffee and bagel from their cafe.

“Hi baby…” He sheepishly said holding out the items. She silently let him through the door not once looking him in the eye. He stepped into her room, setting her treats on her desk. He could see that her bed was messy meaning she recently woke up. Y/N never went about her day without making her bed. He turned back to her and finally their eyes met. He took in all of her facial features, from her puffy eyes, to her downturned lips that looked chapped, to her flushed cheeks that longed to be held for warmth. He hated to see her like this, the last time he saw her so upset was when her parents moved out of her childhood home. It took alot to make Y/N this upset. She was normally really headstrong and vigilant. She knew how to ease her way out of problematic situations and could talk her way through anything.

Harry opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Y/N holding her hand up in front of his face. “Don't talk. I'm really hurt Harry, so if your plan was to come over here and apologize over bagels- think again.” She snapped, backing up to put space between the two of them. She sat down on her bed while Harry pulled the desk chair out and sat down. He much preferred to be on the bed with her holding her tight but he didn't want to overstep boundaries.

“Love, I don't know where to begin. I'm really sorry for what happened last night. I was really drunk and obviously wasn't in the right headspace.” Harry reached out and touched the tips of her fingers with his. She wanted to move but it felt good to be touched by Harry.

“I told you that a measly little apology won't do Harry. I didn't want you to kiss Yara and you did anyway. You know how Yara feels about you and you just let it happen!” She pulled her hand away remembering the prior night's events. Harry felt himself getting angry too. He felt like he needed to defend himself- even though it would be a very bad idea.

“I think you're being over dramatic.” Wrong move Harry. “It wasn't like I was making out with her!”

“You're joking right?” She scoffed and scooted further up her bed to create more distance. “Harry it's the simple fact that you did something that made me uncomfortable that shouldn't have even happened. I see myself getting married to you and it makes me worry that right now in our relationship you can't respect my boundaries!” She yelled. Harry’s eyes widened as he laughed sarcastically.

“Married? What the fuck are you on about? I'm a junior in college. In what world would it make sense for me to be prepping a relationship for marriage? Once again I think you're being over dramatic.” Her eyes watered hearing Harry's statement.

“I- I guess I'm the only one in this relationship thinking about the future? I thought we were on the same page. I'm not planning our marriage now, obviously. I'm thinking about how elements of our relationship now could play out in the future when we do want to get married. You cheated on me last night. I went to a party you begged ME to go to only to be there for you. I wanted to be here cuddling with you, pigging out on fast food but I was at a party with you and got cheated on!” Her volume rises once again, making Harry shove his chair from underneath him when he stands up.

“You're doing too much right now. I'm not planning a future right now because I don't want this future! I want to be myself without thinking about how to appease my girlfriend. I invited you to the party so you could lighten the fuck up. I love you, I do, but I'm not thinking of marriage and futures. I'm thinking about my life right now and having fun.” Harry snapped right back at her. Her chin wobbled. Obviously her and Harry were on different pages. It hurt so much to hear him say that he didn't want a future with her. Harry didn't mean it though.

“Ok, well I guess that's my fault for assuming we were thinking along the same lines. Um, I don't want to hold you back from being yourself so with that being said, you are a free man Harry.” She pushed herself up from her bed walking to the door ready to escort Harry out.

“Huh? Love, what?” Harry was confused on how they got to this point. Just a few days ago they were in love, meeting in the library to share a lunch and exchanging sweet words determined by their love.

“Listen I have a day full of exams tomorrow so if you could just leave that would be best. You don't really want this so I'm letting you go, Harry.” She had tears rolling down her face, falling from her eyes down to her chin where they fell to the ground in droplets. Harry’s eyes welled up watching his love cry before him.

“I don't-”

“Harry, leave, please.” She opened the door making room for him to go through. He walked through the door turning to look at her. She turned her face away from him whispering a small goodbye before shutting the door. Harry was left in the silent hallway, so silent he could hear his thoughts and the tears hitting the tile floor beneath him. He thinks he stood there for at least thirty more minutes before accepting what had happened and walking away.

Leaving Y/N in her room sobbing like she had never done before. Her tears coated her face and she thought her head could explode right then and there. She didn't want to accept what had happened but she had priorities. She composed herself enough to start studying for her exams.

The week rolled by quickly, Monday meeting Friday in a flash. Exams were done and Christmas break was on the horizon. Students were piling off of campus in a hurry ready to get home to their loved ones. People were outside by cars loading up their winter necessaries and saying their goodbyes to their close friends.

Harry cried everyday this week. He wasn't normally a crier. He hated crying, he hated the feeling of crying and the headache that came from it. He cried because he realized how wrong he was. He missed Y/N. He missed finals week dinner together where they tried to get off campus at least once and be alone for a moment. He missed watching her relax while eating food that wasn't from their school's cafeteria. He would pay for their meal just so she could have one less thing to worry about. They would normally get frozen yogurt right after too, Y/N getting as many toppings as she wanted because Harry would be the one paying. He missed her tight after exam hugs. She would squeeze his shoulders tight, smiling into his neck, telling him how proud she was of him. She would bring him tea in the morning when they met for breakfast. Sometimes they would spend the night in one or the others room so they could have time together to destress and just talk.

Y/N wasn't doing any better. She normally went into exam week feeling confident. She studied too hard not to. But this week she felt like shit. Her heart hurt and she kept thinking about the fight. She feels like she overreacted but hearing Harry talk about their lack of a future hurt nonetheless. She really assumed that they did have a future that included marriage and a life together. She didn't understand where his sudden lack of commitment came from. She regretted dumping him but at the same time she wished he did more to get them back together but he was silent. He hasn't contacted her at all and avoided all of their spots on campus all together.

She stood by her car prepping for her six hours car ride back home. Packing away her clothes and some essentials in the trunk of her car, she heard light footsteps behind her. Closing her trunk she turned to see Harry standing with his hands in his pockets.  

“Hi.” He said. She looked at him, putting her own hands in her pockets. It was cold outside, the nippy air hinting at a possibility of snow.

“Hi Harry.” They shared a moment of silence together. Just staring at each other. It felt good to be near each other again. They felt like they could breathe again.

“I had to see you before you left. I know the break is only a month but I didn't want to leave without seeing you.” He replied quietly. She made him feel so shy. Her beauty always made him awestruck. Even in a hoodie with their college's logo and some large sweatpants and some fuzzy crocs, she was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

“I don't know what to say harry.”

“It's ok. I don't deserve anything from you after what I said. I just wanted to apologize and wish you a good break before you left. I also wanted to give you this.” He pulled a small box and envelope out of the front pocket of his backpack. “I know we agreed on no presents but I think thats a dumb rule and I love you too much to not get you something.” She smiled at his words, taking the gift from his hands.

“Thank you Harry, it means a lot to me. So what are your plans for a break?” She asked him, the tension that was in the air slowly dissipating.

“I couldn't get a flight home until next wednesday so i'll stay here on campus until then.” He shrugged.

“Oh ok. Well tell Anne I said hi. I have to go Harry but I'll see you after the break, ok?” She didn't want to leave him but she didn't want to drive through the dark.

“Ok, love. Drive safe. I lov- I mean have a good break.” Her chest tightened at his hesitation. She wants to hear him say the words but she knows he won't.

“Have a good break Harry.” She whispered. Before getting in her car she stood on her toes placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Rubbing her thumb across his cheek and turning away and into her car.

She drove away knowing that her heart was left in that parking lot in the hands of someone she loves way too much.

Harry stood in the parking lot watching his heart drive away for winter wanting nothing more than to be with her.

Part two

[beigehearts]

Due to request I will be making a nsfw version of this post (Landing a hit on the adult trio)  Please refer to the linked post as I will be continuing the stories from where they left off  fem!reader 18+ content warnings will be listed separately for each drabble

Illumi CW: dubcon, bruising, fingering

Your eyes travel to the floor as he continues speaking, his words beginning to sound like fuzz. You snap back when a strong hand grabs your chin and tilts your face towards his. It almost feels as if his fingers are going to go through your jaw bones. “I expect you to look at me when I’m speaking.”

His bone shattering grip only gets tighter when you look away from him. He studies you closely, only to let go and you drop to the ground again. You gently touch where he grabbed you, knowing that the bruises would be just as painful as the initial injury. Your pants are covered in blood from the trail you were dragged in. Your eyes finally travel upwards to meet his but you can see something has changed. His usual dark and emotionless eyes have something of a spark in them. 

“Normally I would make you sleep outside with Mike in a situation like this.” He tilts his foot up to take a better look at it. “Though that doesn’t seem to be working. Mike has warmed up to you.” He places his foot back on the ground and sighs, “It seems I only have a few options left. Rather than punishment- how about you make it up to me?” 

What does that mean- does he want you to tend to his wounds? Crochet him a pillow? You’re taken from your thoughts when two arms grab you by your sides, lifting you off of the ground and carrying you into another room. As you’re placed on the bed- looking at the blood bath practically makes you gag but it’s short lived when he closes the door. 

“I’ve been curious.” He grabs the hem of your pants, “What will get you to show me something other than disdain for my existence?” You’re frozen in place as he pulls the legs of your pants off of you, leaving your panties exposed.

He places one hand on your chest, holding you down while the other one rests on your hip. He examines your body closely, as if scrutinizing it and it leaves you with an uncomfortable feeling. The hand on your hip travels down to your thigh, gripping it tightly, he’s like a kid playing with a new toy. 

That same hand finds it’s way to your clothed, slick folds. You didn’t realize that you were already a little wet until his fingers against you told you. His fingers begin massaging you, rubbing circles around your most sensitive area. You turn your head to look away from him, if not to avoid his gaze, then to hide your expression. 

He moves your panties to the side, his cold fingers assaulting your warmth. Your legs twitch when he places his thumb on your clit and begins pushing a finger inside of you. His finger curls inside of you, exploring your walls. Your cheeks flush and you put a hand over your mouth, stifling any noise that could encourage him. Another finger pushes inside of you- only stretching you out more and inviting more pleasure. They scissor inside of you and you cant help but let out a squeak. 

His fingers push in and out of you, until they create an unstoppable rhythm. Pleasure racks your body, and your legs start to uncontrollably shake. He moves his hand that held you down to your lower stomach, pushing down. A know builds up inside of you, tightening and tightening and pushing loud moans out of you. You’ve given up hiding it, and allow your body to soak in all the pleasure. His fingers curl inside of you while pumping in and out and the knot in your stomach is ready to burst. 

You gasp for air when it explodes inside of you, warmth spreading throughout your entire body. Your limbs go limp and your vision is blurred by the tears in your eyes. He removes his fingers from your slick, warm insides. 

He examines his fingers, staring at the liquid that coats his finger. “So that’s how.” 

Hisoka CW: noncon, unprotected sex, physical trauma

“You’re so cute when you defend yourself.” You stare up at his untouched face and fear shoots down your spine. He leans down and licks a strip up the side of your face and brings his lips to your ear. “It only turns me on even more.”

You’ve really done it now. You messed up your escape and now he’s pissed. His face doesn’t show it but it doesn’t need to. The grip on your arm says enough. Your throat burns, but not even a cough can escape your mouth. The thought that you can’t even scream whether or not it’s heard, it intensifies your fear. 

“See, I could kill you right now, with my bare hands and watch you die slowly.” A grin creeps on to his face, “But I don’t want to break my toy before I’ve even gotten to play with it.” He lets go of your arm, standing up but grabbing you by your hair and pulling you up to his height. The pain shooting through your skull causes a silent screech to claw it’s way through your neck. 

He pushes you against the wall without a single speck of mercy in his body. Your head is smashed against the wall so hard you begin to worry about having a concussion. His hand lets go of your hair, only to grip your throat even tighter- the firey burn intensifying. 

You begin to flail around when you feel his free hand travelling under the skirt he makes you wear. He brings your head from the wall by his grip on your neck, only to slam it against the wall again. You wish you could even make sounds of pain just for your own sanity. Your arms fall back to your sides, realizing the more you fight the more likely your skull will be shattered. 

You close your eyes- waiting to get this over with, but your eyes shoot open when his lips meet yours. And by meet you mean assault. His tongue brushes against your lips in a matter of seconds until it pushes into your mouth, exploring every crevice. He pulls away from you, a string of spit connecting your mouths. His mouth clamps down on your neck, sucking and nipping until he draws blood. He leaves trails of bruises down your neck to your shoulders but that’s not your concern when you feel two fingers begin to massage your core. 

“I know you’re dying to get to the point, so why don’t we.” With those words he presses himself against you, lifting your legs to wrap around his slender but sturdy waist. He moves your panties to the side and you feel something poking at your entrance and the grip on your neck tightens. You try to protest but the only thing that can escape your mouth are breaths of air. 

Just as he said, he gets to the point. He pushes inside of you and a sharp pang of pain shoots up your back. You begin sweating and your body is doing everything to fight him. It’s no use, he begins thrusting in and out of you, his cock filling your insides as much as possible. He bites down on your neck and suddenly the pain of his thrusts turn into pleasure. If you could moan you would be, the feeling of him dragging in and out of you- rubbing against your walls becomes torturous, and you find yourself moving with him. 

His movement begins to speed up and the wet sound your insides are making only adds to the embarrassment. A ball of tightness begins to form inside of you and your body begs for more friction. You try to move your hips with him but he grabs your waist and keeps you still, fucking up into you. 

Your hands grab his hair when you can’t wait any longer, and your walls spasm around him while your body shakes. His shit eating grin pisses you off but that doesn’t matter when you’ve just cummed all over him. He presses inside of you as far as he can, holding you in place. The warm sticky liquid filling you to your brim indicates his own orgasm. 

He pulls out of you, dropping you like a rag doll and you drop to the ground with a loud thump and a lot of pain. You gasp for air look up to your captor. 

“Oh look you’ve made such a mess.” He points to your legs, and you look down. His fluids leaking out of you and onto the tile floor. It’s still warm and it’s sticky against your thighs. 

“You better clean that up before it dries.” He turns on his heel, “I don’t want dried cum on my floor.” 

Chrollo CW: blowjob, noncon (also this drabble is really bad because I was burnt out once I started writing it so I will rewrite it later and let you guys know when I have rewritten in)

He brings your back against his chest, and he wraps one arm around your arms and torso, preventing you from hitting him. His other arm lays loosely around your waist. “You’re very resourceful y/n.” He purrs in your ear. “Thank you for trying your best and not holding back.” You continue squirming in his grasp but know what your fate is when he says, “Though it’s quite unattractive for a girl to be so feisty.”

You shiver against him and he turns you towards him. He grabs your chin and tilts your head to look at him, “I can’t let my darling go unpunished when she throws such a tantrum.”

He let’s go of you and says, “Get on your knees.” 

Your eyes go wide and you shake your head.

“Would you rather I put you on your knees?” 

You shake your head again, getting on your knees for him voluntarily seems humiliating. But you’d rather kneel on your own than find out how he would put you on your knees. You slowly bend down, settling your knees against the cold wood floor. 

Your eyes travel up his body, meeting his and you send a pleading look at him. “Go ahead, take it out.” 

You try to play dumb, hoping that he would just give up, “Take what out?” 

He grabs your chin tightly and frowns, “You’re not dumb, take it out.”

You nod slowly, your hands shaking when they reach the fabric of his pants. It’s almost impossible to unzip his pants when your hands are trembling so badly. He keeps his eyes on you, watching your every move to make sure you don’t try anything dumb. Your fingers pull down his boxers, exposing his already hard member. It springs into the air, mocking you only inches from your face. 

“Go ahead. Take it.” His cock twitches as if begging for your lips around him. 

Your pride is badly wounded, dissolving little by little with each passing second. Your hands reach for his member but he stops you, “Don’t use your hands.” 

There’s no chance of having an ounce of self respect after this. You move your head forward, your lips brushing against the tip of his dick. You push your mouth down his length, not wanting to prolong the experience. Your tongue lubricates his length and you stop when he’s touching your throat, only half way. He huffs, getting impatient and grabbing you by your hair, and pushes you down all the way, your nose pressed against his pelvis. You gag around him and feel bile rising from your throat. When he moves your head back, you gasp for air but your freedom is short lived.

He bobs your head on his cock, and you can’t help it but your teeth scrape against him. He seems to enjoy it when a low groan escapes his lips. Breathing becomes a privilege with every push your nose meets his skin again. Saliva coats his cock, and drool drips down your mouth. You’re an absolute mess and the sight of it only makes him harder. He begins bobbing your head fast, his grip in your hair tightening. You hope he’s close.

You know he is when he pushes your mouth all the way down on him, his dick invading your throat, blocking your airways. Your throat begins to constrict around him, and you fight him as your body begs for oxygen. You can’t escape his grip. A warm feeling travels down the back of your throat, and your vision begins to go dark. Your body begins to go limp and at the very last second of consciousness he says, “You’re going to swallow this when I pull out.”

He drags his cock out of your mouth and you do as he says, not wanting to find out what will happen if you don’t swallow his seed. You begin coughing violently and gasping for air all at the same time. You hold your throat as you gasp in air. 

“I will not permit such childish behavior from you y/n.” 

[kuroos-moon]

Captains and Strong Independent S/o’s

☁︎︎ request:  Oikawa, Kuroo and either Bokuto or Ushijima (I cant choose!) reacting to a (fem or g/n) reader who does some type of martial art and they’re kinda tough/strong and (maybe they’re the team manager and they don’t take no shit) and the captains kinda crush on them for it? (I like to imagine Oikawa having a tough gf who stops Iwa from being mean to him and jokingly threatens Iwa that if he wants to hurt Tohru he has to go through her

☁︎︎ pairing: oikawa x reader, kuroo x reader, ushijima x reader

☁︎︎ warning/s: swearing, felt a bit of angst while writing for ushijima’s idk why tho it might just be my imagination :> 

☁︎︎ a/n: also dont know if it’s obvious but i kinda got carried away with ushijima’s 

Oikawa Tohru

• is a smug little shit every time you’re with him or in the same room at least 

• like,, he could piss Iwa-chan off to death and he won’t get hurt for it? now this is what he calls power

• sincerely loves and adores you, but at first, he kinda got sad that you’re so self-sufficient, you practically don’t need him 

• but he’s now long accepted that you’re just so you… and in your relationship, it’s you who does the protecting and looking out by a whole lot (ofc it doesn’t mean he loves you less) 

• that’s why he gets so so soft when he gets his turn in being the person who’s leaned on

• as their manager, he loves how you get things done so effectively, even Kyotani bows down to you, as he should—he always says in his head, smiling as he looks at the feral boy getting flustered around you  

• he listens to you all the time and we all know Tohru backing down is so rare 

“Oy, you’re overdoing it, let’s go.” 

“Head home without me, Iwa-chan,” he mutters mindlessly as he screws up another serve, a scowl on his face as he bends down to get another ball; but he freezes at an instant upon Iwaizumi’s words—no, Iwaizumi’s threat.

“Suit yourself, I’ll call y/n.” 

Oikawa has never changed stance so quickly in his life, cleaning up the gym as he sends smiles to his best friend’s way every five seconds, hoping he won’t tell on him on his cute but scary girl who could easily kick him unconscious. 

• he uses your name to threaten anyone who wants to cross him and they will back down immediately

• also likes to show off because he knows you treasure him so much; he likes to be babied by you especially in front of others 

“y/n-chan c’mere,” he softly says, whining a bit. The rest of his team look at the both of you in astonishment as you take the captain in your arms, Tohru’s cheek on your shoulder, looking back at the bewildered look on his teammate’s faces while you sit side by side on the bench. 

They could never get used to someone as tough as you having such the softest spot for Shittykawa… like how could you even stand him? 

“Really tired,” he mumbles, a small smile on his lips when you run your fingers through his hair. “I know, you were great as always, let’s head home so you could rest.” 

“Y/n-chan, today, Iwa-chan hit my head when you were out to get water. It really hurt,” he says, still in your embrace as he smirks at his teammates. 

Their mouths fall open, Iwaizumi’s eye twitching in irritation for his shitty best friend. 

“And Maki-chan…” Hanamaki grits his teeth, looking at him pleadingly in panic as his mind runs through everything he did today, wondering what he could’ve done to your beloved. “He ate my milk bread; I was really hungry.” 

Yup, Maki and Iwaizumi knew there was hell to pay, gulping in unison when you pull away from your boyfriend and narrow your eyes at them. 

“Iwa-chan. I thought we agreed you weren’t hitting Tohru again.” 

A chill runs down his spine, Tohru simply looks at you with pride, pulling you into his lap as he wraps his arms around your waist before you get the chance to throw hands at Iwaizumi.

Kuroo Tetsuro

• loves loves LOVES your remarks, your attitude, the way you take no crap from anyone, like “ah, he’s scared shitless, that’s my girl” 

• dw, you’re not a thug or anything, but men who force their feelings on you will see heaven’s gates early 

• and kuroo’s so pleased about it. sure, he’d love to get the chance to act all cool and brooding and possessive in front of other suitors but what’s more fun is watching their dejected faces as you say—

• “how many times do I have to turn you down? I have my tetsuro, now back the fuck off or I’ll break your nose.” 

• you had no idea he was just outside your classroom waiting for you, arms crossed and a cocky grin stretching his lips when you lock eyes with him

• “chibi-chan!” he calls off cheerily, and you bet he’ll tease you about it til death do you part 

• “don’t just stand there, give your tetsuro a hug!” 

• laughs about how your friendly banters with yamamoto always end up with you winning the argument 

• you rub off as mean bc you won’t take any disrespect, even a little—and that’s great

• those are one of the things he loves about you 

• but he’s always worried you might get hurt or hated for it, though he knows you are very much capable of beating anyone up even kuroo himself

• so he’s always holding you back, and I can’t stress this enough, but this man knows you could fend for yourself and he is so proud you’re his partner 

• he just wants to make certain that no one’ll hurt you, okay kitten? 

• your conversations often go like this: 

“I’ll beat up whoever tries to lay a hand on me.” 

“don’t say such reckless things, you’re not superman.”

“uhuh, geez, I’ll be fine, I don’t need you to walk me home.” 

“well news flash, your tetsuro, needs his y/n to walk him ho—ow,” he mutters when you slap his chest. 

“go home with kenma.”

“I don’t want kenma,” he scowls, already irked that this is turning into an argument.

“too bad,” you deadpan.  

“ugh,” he groans, “imagine a girlfriend who actually listens to you, just imagine.” 

• he is the one and only person you’ll gladly accept lectures from, bc his lectures are always reasonable and for your own good

after checking and verifying that you were completely okay, you knew he was about to go down to business. 

“you got into a fight? What are you? a thug?” he crosses his arms. You were both inside the gym along with the rest of his teammates who looked like they were far too preoccupied to listen. They were all clearly listening in though, except Kenma of course.  

watching your figures from a few feet away, it was obvious that he was scolding you, and Lev already had a ridiculous visualization of you hitting Kuroo. Everyone was worried you’ll fight him, or maybe even hit him, well, everyone except Kenma, of course. 

The setter knew that you would never ever lay a hand on kuroo as if the 6’1 captain was fragile. He also knew that you loved and respected kuroo too much to actually get agitated just because he was scolding you, you aren’t an unreasonable person. Lastly, he knew that kuroo would be going soft on you in five minutes tops, his best friend is hopeless like that. 

Kenma was right, he always is. Your back is glued to the wall behind you, Kuroo’s hand beside your head, his face extremely close to yours that you’re left flustered which is rare. 

After you were rambling on about how you had to put that girl in her place, going off about how it made you so mad and he should cut you some slack, he knew just how to shut you up. And it worked. You’re speechless. 

“what was that again, hm? go on, you surely had a lot to say,” he mutters, acting all tough as if he wasn’t dying to just kiss you now. when you don’t respond and stare at him and his lips instead, he already gives in. yes, just like that. “you were wrong to do that, okay?” he breathes, the worry from earlier on making its way out through his voice. 

“I know, I’m sorry.” 

Locking lips with you, you pull him closer to yourself, and kuroo had purposely decided to kabedon you on this wall since his broad back would be shielding the two of you from his teammates’ line of sight. 

After pulling away, he pats your head, licking his lips. “I forgive you, I’m not mad anymore.” You look away in embarrassment, realizing how petty you must’ve seemed to him. He sighs before hugging you, chin atop your head. 

“Make this the last time, okay? I swear you’re shortening my lifespan having me worried all the time.” 

You hug him tighter as a response, kuroo letting out a breath of contentment. Regardless of how tough you are outside; you are and always will be his soft little kitten and it was his greatest honor that you allow him to take care of you like this. 

Ushijima Wakatoshi

• is probably a little too used to the idea of his most treasured girlfriend being extremely capable and self-sufficient 

• his teammates would always look at him like ‘why are you not stepping in,’ every time you’re in a tough spot i.e. having an argument with someone or having a too-touchy suitor 

• then they’d be like “oh, that’s why,” after you flung the despicable creature out to space 

• he thinks so highly of you, not only are you physically strong, you’re even tougher on the inside too

• this is kinda a given but I’ll say it anyway—he can be unintentionally insensitive (well your relationship is kinda new)

• example no 1: 

you were arguing with goshiki and while he would normally like to ignore you and let you have your way; he was getting annoyed bc the argument was far too petty. 

“I’m gonna surpass him!” 

“and I’m telling you that you ca-

your mouth is clamped with a big hand, and it took you only a second to realize it was Wakatoshi because only he would have the nerve to lay a hand on you like this. he still doesn’t say anything, dragging you with him in an empty hallway for privacy.

finally after you stopped walking, he turns to you and looks at you expectantly. “what was that for? Did you even wash your hand,” you mutter, slightly annoyed. 

“I haven’t touched the ball yet, don’t worry,” he lowly says, making you sulk because he totally missed your point. “still, you didn’t have to make me shut up by clamping your hand against my mouth.” He’s too… not gentle with you sometimes. 

“you were going to say something you shouldn’t to goshiki.”

“he said something he shouldn’t have.” 

he only narrows his eyes at you and you do the same, anyone from your class would’ve been scared at the sight. You were both known as the cutest yet intimidatingly scary couple. 

• you were in the early stages of dating and though you understood each other well, it wasn’t really enough yet

• it’s all good though, because once you tell him that he was too uncaring of you and your feelings he does something that no other man would do: 

• apologize, admit his mistake, reflect on it a lot and,,, actually change!! 

• he’s much softer to you after that, and he finally realizes that you were still his precious girl and you were sensitive when it came to him 

• cursed himself for being too reliant on how you never seemed sensitive or needy

• doesn’t dwell too much on regret, just treats you 100x times better 

• is fascinated with your passion for martial arts but is against you overdoing training

• one time, he was torn between dragging you out of practice or just turning a blind eye to your visible exhaustion since you’re always so tough anyway, you’ll manage 

• but then he remembers his promise to himself to never treat you like you aren’t the most special person to him so he excuses himself from practice and heads to your training room 

you sat alone, your back to the wall. everyone else has gone home but you stayed because your muscles were too sore and you felt like you couldn’t even walk for another day. maybe it had something to do with how you’ve been training too much. 

you’re startled upon seeing shoes on the floor you blankly stared at, looking up to meet eyes with Ushijima. “Wakatoshi,” you say in surprise. 

he is expressionless as he bends down across you between your legs, and you had to admit this was something you weren’t used to from him. “are you okay?” he asks, his voice soft as velvet. you’re taken aback by his question, looking away in embarrassment. 

Wakatoshi rarely asks you that, and most of the time it was only when you said the word ‘ow’ when you accidentally hit something. you clear your throat, bringing your hands together to play with your fingers, “I’m okay.” 

it was silent for a few seconds before you hear him sigh, not only that, warm, gentle hands had found its way to yours and you look at him, bewildered. “is this okay?” he asks, looking down at both your hands and you nod. “your hands are much smaller, compared to mine at least.” he says, but you’re too flustered to even understand that. 

“are other things okay too?” he asks, and like his former statement, you didn’t understand. your silence doesn’t stop him though, he decided to push his luck. tugged gently by your wrist, your back’s no longer pressed to the wall as ushijima wakatoshi pulls you in his arms for the first time in your very few months of dating. 

“wakatoshi,” you mumble, your heart racing so much you’re sure he feels it against his chest. he’s so warm, welcoming, and in his loving hold felt like the rightest place to be. “you’re not feeling okay.”

you don’t respond, opting to bury your face at the crook of his neck instead. “I’m here, I know you’re tired.” 

you both stay in that position for a long time, it was addicting to be cradled in his arms and he felt the same. “y/n,” he whispers, and you hum in response. 

“you’re strong. very strong. you don’t need a man at all.”

your heart skips a beat, “toshi are you breaking up with me?” 

you hear a soft chuckle ring in your ears, “let me finish. as I said, you’re very strong. you look like you’re always so tough. but you’re not, and so…” he trails off, so you pull away to look at him, hesitance evident in his eyes, his palm still pressed at the small of your back. 

“you’re not always strong. in fact if I dare say, you are fragile, and I care about you. so please, allow me to be there for you all the time, I’ll be here, just like now.” 

General Taglist [Open]: @noyasbitchh @dinablossom @haru-the-secret @strayczennies @lalisbitch @tinymidgetsstuff @animebs @astrealia @kittykitkatstrawberry @hajimesbbygrl @kellesvt @24hr7dysdizzy @arnxldss @elianetsantana @vicassa @floraraine @beanst0ck @leinnah @kageyamasgirl @deafeningart @minibobabottle   @franko-pop @moonlightaangel @throughtheinterstices @micasaessakusa @dixonsbugaboo @thevillagehiddenintheinternet @ultzuko @yappychan @dipsydoo542 @devilgirlcrybabiey @dai-tsukki-desu​

[samanthadalton]

Star Crossed Lovers (part 14)

Do my eyes deceive me???? part 14???? we did it. im so sorry its taken forever, i will try my best to be more consistent with my writing. love yall for being patient with me it means the most. thank you, thank you. 

warnings: throughout this fic there will be mentions of substance abuse, homophobia, sexual abuse, violence, NSFW, mentions of abandonment, depression and death including suicide

reader discretion is advised

warnings: angst, swearing (lots of it) 

taglist: @drmmyrs @cloud9in @somewillwin @save-me-the-last-dance @baexpoppy @stanzoeywade @ognenniyvolk @thepotatobleh @crazzyplays @fall3ngods @helpconfusedpersonhere @clowneryme @dopeyouth @boys-girls-i-cant-help-it-baby @vonda-b-real @uselesslesbianfr @veenast @cloakanddaggerthings @somethindarker (sorry again if ive missed anyone, if you wanna be added on this taglist or my general one just let me know 😊) 

word count: 4k (i feel like its short considering how long it took me to write but i still hope you guys enjoy) (also i didnt check for grammatical errors properly so sorry if you find any) 

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11 part 12 part 13

The first steps to moving on 

“Bea please,” Poppy whispers, a repentant look creeping up to her face as she looks away from her girlfriend. “It can’t wait.” 

Bea sighs, her shoulders slumping as the last remains of her anger disseminates from her body. “Okay fine, lead the way babe.” 

Poppy stiffens that the pet name but she doesn’t let her awkwardness slip as she leads Bea to a secluded classroom, far away from prying eyes. Both her and Bea turn to look at each other, and both simultaneously open their mouths to talk. 

“I know you wanted to tell-” 

“We need to talk-” 

Both clamp their lips shut, a mutual smile playing on their lips as they look at one another. 

“You go first,” Poppy gestures towards Bea, as she moves to sit on the edge of a desk. 

Bea inhales softly, her tongue darts out licking her lips as she looks down at the ground, her face calculating. “Why does Chloe hate me?” She looks up to Poppy, her eyes boring into the strawberry blonde’s, sadness swimming inside of them, “I just don’t get what I’ve done for her to hate me.” 

Poppy sighs heavily, her eyes awkwardly darting away from Bea’s. “It’s complicated Bea.” 

“Complicated?” Bea lets out a humourless laugh, “I almost just went off on Chloe after she gave her condolences for my mom dying because I just felt she wasn’t genuine and you wanna tell me it's complicated?” 

Poppy sharply inhales, contemplating for a few moments before saying, “it���s because of your mom.” 

Bea scrunches her brows up in confusion, “my mom? What the hell does she have to do with this?” 

Poppy ineptly plays with her hands, not being able to look Bea in her eyes, “at first it was just a classist thing. When you first came to Belvoire, she just wanted to make herself feel superior over you, but in the last year you’ve noticed her getting more mean right?” 

“Right.” Bea stares at Poppy, her expression emotionless. 

“Chloe’s parents have been fighting non stop recently, and it’s been affecting her a lot.” 

Bea’s brows furrow in confusion, “what does that have to do with me or my mom?” 

“Just let me explain first before you react, please.” Bea’s eyes bore into Poppy’s for a few seconds before she nods understandingly. “Her dad cheated on her mom. A lot of times actually. But he was blackmailed by one of the women he slept with.” Poppy pauses for a few seconds, “your mom.” 

Bea lets out a shaky breath, her eyes blinking in disbelief, “no, you’re lying.” 

Poppy nervously bites her bottom lip, “look Bea-” 

“How long have you known?”

Poppy’s face scrunches up in anger, “this isn’t my fault Bea. I only found out that day I went to talk to Chloe about us. Chloe made me promise not to say anything to you-” 

“Poppy! My mom OD and I don’t even know why. And now you’re telling me she was blackmailing the St James family and it doesn’t occur to you that might have had something to do with her death?” 

“They’re not the fucking mafia Bea, jesus. They were trying to settle it quietly by giving your mom some money and make her sign some stuff so she couldn't threaten them anymore.” 

The devastating ramification of Poppy’s admission hangs in the air as the two girls let the words settle into them. “Chloe really is sorry about your mom Bea, we all are.” 

Bea sighs, staring off into space, as a few tears begin to fill up in her eyes. “I just don’t know what to do.” Bea begins sniffling, but Poppy makes no movement to console her girlfriend. Bea notices and her expression sobers, “so, uh what did you wanna tell me?” Bea sniffs a few more times, before looking up at Poppy, giving her a small encouraging smile. 

Poppy looks away, guilt creeping up on her face, as she tries her damndest not to catch Bea’s small smile on her face. “Bea…”. Bea carefully assesses her girlfriend’s demeanour, noticing the similar body language during when they first asked to take a break, she thinks back to the last couple of days, she had barely heard from her girlfriend, and now she’s not affectionate, even after she almost had a mental breakdown in the middle of the hallway and her smile drops. “We have to break up,” Poppy says, her tone so monotone and dry as if she didn’t mean the words she was saying at all. 

“I don’t understand,” is all Bea can muster, evidently hurt by Poppy’s admission. Poppy winces slightly at Bea’s tone, finally breaking her robotic demeanour as she lets out a few sniffles. “So is that it? We have to break up,” Bea retorts mockingly, “is that all I get after all these years?” 

“Bea..” Poppy reaches out but Bea immediately takes a step back, tears flooding in her eyes. 

“No,” she holds her hands up, “I don’t get it, things are going good, or at least whatever twisted definition of good we’ve made up. Where the hell did this come from?” 

“Bea my dad-” 

“Of course! Hayden Min fucking Sinclair had something to do with this. Why do you still live under his shadow? You talk all this shit about breaking out of your father’s prison and wanting to achieve your own goals but he sucks you back in.” 

“That’s not fair Bea,” Poppy interjects, balling her hands up into fists in an attempt to subdue her trembling, “my dad has given me so much and he’s threatening to take it all away.” 

“Yeah, all you have to do is get rid of me. Me or the Min Sinclair name.” 

“Bea this is the life I have, okay I’m not like you, I’m not built like you.” 

“So what? I can grow up without a dad and now without a mom but it’s okay because I’m used to pain and disappointment?” 

“I didn’t mean it like that, you have a plan, things you can achieve, I need the Min Sinclair name, I’m nothing without it.” 

“Wow.” Bea shakes her head, “So I just meant nothing?” Bea wildy throws her arms in the air, anger bubbling under the surface of her demeanour. “We’ve practically been together since we were kids. And you’re just gonna fucking throw that away? And for what? Fuck you Poppy.” 

Poppy takes half a step back, dumbfounded by Bea’s outburst. She scrunches her brows, evidently hurt, “you don’t get it Bea. Even though your mom wasn’t the best, she still supported you, even if you didn’t know about it. My dad he- my mom what would she think?” 

“Your mom? Poppy what kind of shit is your dad brainwashing you with? Your mom is dead! You have no idea how she would react to having a gay daughter, but I know she’s probably disappointed in you.” 

“Fuck you Bea.”Poppy runs out of the classroom, tears streaming down her face, leaving Bea on her own. 

“Shit,” Bea whispers to herself before throwing a bunch of punches at the wall, each more cathartic than the last until she can’t physically hold herself up anymore. Bea defeatedly slides into a chair, cradling her head in between her hands, letting the tears free fall, as reality begins setting in that she lost the one thing in the world that was her everything. Poppy Min Sinclair was her rock, the girl who she gave her heart to, the love of her life and just in a matter of moments it was over. Maybe it was too good to be true. The beautiful, perky popular rich girl and the girl who had almost nothing, complete polar opposites, it never should’ve worked. But time and time again when faced against the world they persevered so why was this time different? Poppy had chosen her namesake over the love of her life. She chose the life of glitz and glamour over the girl who gave her her entire heart. Bea feels her entire world crashing down, how much more heartbreak could she take? Was her life always going to be so hard? So full of hurt? Full of pain? She winces at the thought, her head hammering as she comes to the realisation that she understood her mother’s pain more than she thought. 

…. 

Bea hops off her bike, parking it in front of her house, as she pulls her phone out to look at the time. ‘It’s lunch time,’ she thinks to herself. After the day she had today, school wasn’t the best option for her right now. She makes her way to her front door but stops in her tracks when she realises her front door is slightly ajar. Her survival instincts kick in as she effortlessly pulls out her pocket knife, carefully pushing the door fully open. As she steps into the living room, her eyes dart to the closed door of her mother’s room, but when she hears a creaking sound coming towards her bedroom, she cautiously moves towards the source of the noise, the grip on her knife tightening. As she creeps up, she sees the door of her room half opened, a hooded figure standing by her bed with their back facing her. 

Bea stealthily sneaks up to the figure placing the knife a few inches from their throat before lowering her voice to a threatening tone, “who are you and what the fuck are you doing?” The figure gasps, dropping a bag that’s in their hands with a deafening thud before raising their hands in a sign of surrender. 

“It’s me, it’s me,” the voice whimpers out. 

“AJ?” Bea raises her eyebrows, retracting the knife from his throat while pulling down his hood with her other hand. “What the fuck are you doing?” Bea takes a step back while AJ scrambles grabbing the bag he just dropped moments before. When he turns to face Bea, his eyes are wide, filled with fear as he clutches the bag closely to his chest. 

“I have to go,” he says as he attempts to run out of the room, but Bea pulls him back, her face crumpled in suspicion. 

“No we’re not doing this, give me the bag now,” Bea snatches the bag out of his hands before he can protest and opens the zipper to find it filled with cash. She grits her teeth, anger settling into her features as she whips her head up to AJ, “is this my fucking money?” 

“Bea, I- I can explain-” 

“What the fuck AJ!” Bea throws the bag onto the bed, the cash spilling out as she jabs an accusing finger at AJ’s chest. “You’re stealing from me now? I haven’t seen you in god knows how long, you don’t call, text nothing. Even after everything that’s been happening in the last few weeks but you have the audacity to fucking steal from me? Money that I’ve spent years saving? Money that I’ve bussed my fucking ass off for, are you serious right now?” Bea’s voice is filled with rage as she’s practically screaming, her voice now thundering. AJ winces, guiltily averting his gaze to the ground, unable to meet Bea’s eyes. 

“I’m sorry about your mom Bea, I wanted to visit-” AJ croaks out.

“But you didn’t,” Bea interjects, her voice lowered but filled with hurt. “And now you’re taking money- I mean what is so important you had to steal from me.” 

AJ paces towards the bed, hanging his head in shame, when he speaks his voice is quiet, full of fear, “I’m in some bad shit Bea. These guys aren’t playing around.” 

“I told you not to fall into the wrong crowd, I warned you this shit would happen.” 

“Bea please, I’ll pay you back I just need it.” 

“No! What the fuck, when will you pay me back huh? This is my college money, I’m not letting you give that away to your crackhead friends.” 

“Bea please,” AJ clasps his hands together, his tone pleading, “I don’t know what to do.” 

“AJ I have too much shit on my plate right now, I can’t deal with this. You need to find something else, I can’t help you.” 

AJ’s face pales but he stands up, and makes his way towards the door, before leaving he turns to look back at Bea, “I’m sorry about everything.” 

Bea keeps her eyes trained on her bed where the money is sprawled all over the mattress, “yeah me too,” she replies quietly. Bea hears the front door close and she collapses to the ground, letting the tears flow. 

……

A few days later, Bea sits in her dark living room, curtains shut and lights completely off as she wallows in her sadness, drinking from a bottle of cheap beer, as she stares absentmindedly at the ceiling, so drowned in her thoughts she doesn’t hear the resounding knocks on her door until she hears a voice call out, “Bea! Are you there?” 

Bea crumples her brows, forcing herself to stand as she makes her way to the door, she wearily makes her way to her front door only slightly opening the door before poking her head out. “Veronica?” Veronica gives the girl a wide smile before pushing the door more open, ushering the figure behind her into the house too, “Carter? What are you guys doing here?’ 

Veronica looks around the dark room, noticing the pile of empty beer bottles on the floor, “yikes, drinking on your own on a friday night Hughes? That’s really sad.” Carter stands near the edge of the living room, as if he’s an explorer, his eyes darting all over the living room as he assesses this new environment. 

Bea on the other hand scowls at Veronica, “what the hell do you want Veronica, I’m not in the mood.” 

Veronica frowns slightly, pouting her lips together, “we heard about you and Poppy.” 

Bea rolls her eyes, “yeah well I’m trying to forget about her.” Bea picks up her beer bottle from the ground and makes a show by exaggeratingly drinking from the bottle until it's empty. She discards the empty bottle along with the other ones before turning to look at Veronica and Carter, “so if you’ll excuse me.” 

Veronica steps towards Bea, wrapping her hand around the brunette’s arm, “we’re not here for Poppy stupid, we’re here for you.” 

Bea raises an eyebrow, “for me?” 

Veronica turns to look at Carter, beckoning him forward, Carter breaks out of reverie and clears his throat, “yeah uh, we wanted to take you to a party.” 

“A party?” Bea looks between them confused, “I’m not that interested guys.”

“Wait, wait, wait Bea,” Veronica pleads, pulling Bea closer to her, “you’ve never been to a Belvoire party and the year is almost over, we thought we should take you to at least.” 

“I don’t know guys,” Bea says skeptically, “a lot of people don’t like me.” 

“Who gives a shit? You just had your heart broken and you need to let loose.” 

Bea sighs, pulling away from Veronica, “I don’t think it’s a good idea.” 

“Come on, it beats drinking in the dark on your own.” 

Bea sighs, dropping her shoulders, “what about uh Poppy?” 

“Poppy?” Veronica arches a brow, “her and Chloe are staying in tonight, she said she needed to catch up on homework or something.” 

Bea purses her lips together in thought before sighing,  “fine.” Veronica cheers, “but,” Bea over enunciates, “only for a few hours and if I don’t like it I’m going home.” 

“Okay, deal,” Veronica squeals, wrapping Bea in a big hug. Carter chuckles as Veronica gestures for him to join the hug, he awkwardly wraps his arms around the two girls, before pulling away. 

“Okay, I’ll wait in the car while you girls get ready. Just uh don’t take too long.”

Veronica playfully rolls her eyes as she Bea towards her bedroom, yelling back “thanks Carter.” Giddy, she rushes to Bea’s closest, assessing her clothes until she finds a short red dress hidden in the back. “This!” 

“No, no, no,” Bea shakes her head, pulling the dress out of the ombre-haired girl’s hands. 

“Why not? It would look so hot on you,” Veronica’s eyes trail down Bea’s body, as she sharply inhales. “Bea, you’re single and sexy, stop holding yourself back okay?” 

“I’m not,” Bea pushes back defensively, “I just-” she sighs heavily, “no one at Belvoire has ever seen me dressed up, I’m just- I’m nervous I guess.” 

“Then we have to show them what they’ve been missing for the last three years,” Veronica gives Bea a devilish smile as she takes the dress from Bea’s hands, sliding the dress off the hanger before handing it over to Bea. 

“Uh you gonna stay in the room?” Bea nervously wrings her hands together. 

“Why, are you offering a show?” Veronica lifts a teasing brow, noticing Bea’s cheeks redden slightly, which prompts her to let out a small laugh, “I’m kidding, don’t worry I won’t look.” Veronica makes a show of raising her hands to cover her eyes. Bea laughs as she slips out of her clothes and into the dress, she awkwardly clears her throat, grabbing Veronica’s attention. 

“Hey, uh help a girl out with her zipper?” 

“Sure,” Veronica moves to stand behind Bea, her hands ghosting around Bea’s exposed back, her breath momentarily taken away. She sturdies herself and places one of her hands on the small of the brunette’s back while the other moves towards the zipper, zipping the girl up. Bea smooths the dress down with her hands appreciating herself in the mirror, “you look gorgeous,” Veronica whispers into the shell of her ear. 

Bea’s face completely flushes red and slightly jerks at Veronica’s admission, “uhh thanks.” 

Veronica notices the awkward shift in the atmosphere, and promptly changes the subject, “so where’s your sister?” 

Bea sits in front of her mirror, a comb in her hand as she brushes her long locks, “she’s staying at a friend’s tonight.” 

“Cool,” Veronica answers back but her tone falls flat. The girls bask in the awkward silence as Bea continues to get ready but when Veronica notices Bea struggling to do her winged eyeliner she breaks the silence. “Hey do you need help?” 

Bea smiles bashfully, “yeah.” She rubs the back of her head with her hand, “sorry Poppy used to help me with my makeup.” 

“Right,” Veronica’s face slightly falls but she quickly covers it up, ushering Bea to come and sit on the bed. “Come on, I don’t bite,” Veronica bites the bottom of her lip, “unless you want me too.” Bea laughs but obliges sitting on the edge of the bed. Veronica clambers onto her lap, her thighs settling on the sides of Bea’s legs, and in response, Bea’s eyes widen in surprise but she remains glued in her spot, too shocked to move. 

“V, what are you doing?” Bea whispers, her voice attempting to come across as reprimanding but it comes out as breathy. 

“Relax, I’m just doing your eyeliner.” Veronica plucks the wand from Bea’s hand and angles herself close to the brunette’s face, as she begins drawing on the wings on Bea’s eyelids. Bea steadies herself, as she feels the heat of Veronica’s body so close to hers and when Veronica is finished with putting the finishing touches on her eyelids, she hops off Bea’s lap, making her way towards the desk, scuffling through Bea’s makeup bag before taking up her place on Bea’s lap once again. “Now I think this colour would look good on you,” 

“You don’t think it’s too much red?” 

“Oh babe, red means power, dominance, you don’t wanna be thinking about Poppy the entire night, you wanna have all eyes on you Bea Hughes.” Veronica uncaps the lipstick, her eyes burning into Bea’s lips as she carefully applies the red colour to her lips. “Perfect.” 

Bea smacks her lips together, evenly spreading the red on her lips. “Thanks V.” 

Veronica’s eyes dart to Bea’s lips, her tongue slightly running along her bottom lips before she breaks out of her reverie flashing Bea a smirk, “don’t thank me yet, thank me when you’re having the time of your life at the party.” Veronica slides off Bea’s lap, holding her hand out, “come on let’s finish up because Carter’s been waiting for a while.” Bea smiles up at Veronica, taking her hand as she lets the ombre-haired girl pull her off the bed, as they continue getting ready. 

………

Once they arrive at the party, Carter drops the girls off at the front of the huge house before telling them he will park the car. Veronica’s gaze darts to Bea, who’s nervously toying with her hands, looking up at the intimidating house, the lights blaring and as the music echoes throughout, the bass thumping in their ears. Noticing the nerves settling into her, Veronica slips into Bea's, giving her a reassuring squeeze, “hey, it’s okay, it’s just a bunch of drunk, preppy uptight teenagers, nothing you don't usually face everyday.” 

Bea lets out a small laugh, “just in a big ass house,” she jests. 

“Yeah, just in a big ass house,” she gives Bea a light squeeze as she starts pulling Bea into the house with her. Automatically, they’re met with stares and whispers, as the students look astonished at Bea, some appraising her outfit, while others are confused about her presence. “Hey, just stay with me okay?” Veronica whispers over to Bea. Bea nods, her eyes roaming the room. “I’ll get us drinks.” The ombre-haired girl gives Bea a reassuring pat on her arm and leaves her side and Bea walks into the living room, observing the difference between the vibes of the party between the north and the south. Her thoughts then move to think about Poppy, how Poppy would love going to parties in the north but Bea couldn’t find the appeal in it. Poppy. Poppy, who broke up with her. She’s interrupted from her thoughts by a tap of her shoulder, and Bea turns around to see Veronica offering her a red solo cup, Bea takes a sip and winces. 

“What the hell is this crap?” 

“Yeah for a bunch of rich kids, their taste in beer isn’t the best,” Veronica jokes, slightly nudging Bea. 

“We have way better beer in the south side.” 

“That I can agree with.” Veronica looks over to Bea who looks lost in thought, “hey what are you thinking about?” 

Bea sighs heavily, “Poppy,” she mutters. 

Veronica nods once, “right, yeah.” 

“Poppy would’ve loved a party like this, big fancy house an-” 

“Bea,” Veronica says, her tone slightly agitated, “this,” she gestures around the room, “is a no Poppy zone. That means we don’t think about Poppy, only about fun.” 

Bea nods, “fun. I can do that.” Veronica lifts her cup in the air, “what are we cheering to?” 

Veronica gives Bea a smile, “here’s to the first steps in moving on.” The girls tap their cups together before downing their drinks. “Now if we wanna get drunk, we’re gonna need a lot more of these.” 

The party is still ongoing, and Bea sits in a circle with a few girls from the volleyball team and a few of the football team and other people she doesn’t recognise while Veronica sits beside her. 

“Bea you look so pretty,” one of her teammates says. 

“Yeah Bea your makeup is literally gorgeous,” another chimes in. 

“Who knew strip tease can clean up well,” Ford jests, but Bea slumps her shoulders a little, remembering that these people are not her friends. 

Carter enters the circle slapping Ford on the head as he goes, “shut up, Hughes is cool.” Bea gives Carter a nod of appreciation before looking down at the drink in her hands. Her thoughts move a million miles a minute, but there’s a constant one stuck in her brain, Poppy.

Veronica looks over at Bea, frowning. “Hey come with me.” She stands, excusing herself from the group and Bea follows her close behind. 

“Where are we going?” 

“We’re gonna play a private game of truth or drink.” 

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Notice me.... talk to me.

Sometimes. You cursed your boyfriend's ego.

It just could be so incredibly difficult to just deal with him at some point...

No matter how exausted or just being proven wrong, Chisaki Kai stumped his foot down to just prove for those who doubted or even, with some sorta of courage, talked back to him how stupid and dumb they were. Because he was right. He knew what was best for him, whose he consider dear to his heart and even the world itself. It didn't matter if blood had to be sheed or people to get hurt. He got what he wanted as always would.

You weren't excluded from this harsh treatment either...

Kai and you rarely fight over something. The man absolutely hated arguments that included yelling or some sort of physical combat although it was necessary with some... imcopentent subbordinates of his.

Yet it didn't mean how cruel your boyfriend could be from only just using words. Especially when he had a problem on his bussiness with the Shie Hassaikai.

For your doom, today was one of those days...

"I'm sure if you just took a couple of hours even to just relax and forget about your goal for one minute you would be less tense." You tried to coach your boyfriend but he only glared at you like you were an arrogant child throwing a tantrum.

"And who are to demand things from me (Y/n)?" He spoke through gritted teeth, you could tell even if he was with a mask over his face.

"Im.. Im just trying to help." You murmured lowly, hurt evident on your features.

"Do I look like i need help from you? You cant even walk alone on a city without being glued to my arm on being guarded by the Shie Hassaikai workers." He spoke on a manner of fact tone before giving his back to you to walk back to his desk.

But you tried one less approach...

"Kai... please. I can't- I don't even recognise you anymore. Please just try to listen to me-" you tried to touch his shoulder only to gasp when his rough and covered hands grabbed onto your wrist harshly and roughly pinned you to the wall as he stared with a murder gaze down at you while tightening his grip on your wrist.

"I won't listen to you. And you know why?" He whispered with venom as he etightened even more his grip on you to the point where it actually started to hurt. "Because comparing me and to yourself dearest, you're just a clingly brat trying to distract me to your own enjoyment."

"K-Kai stop it It hu-" you whimpered and gasped in fear as he slammeed a fist on the side of your head.

"I wasn't done talking!" He roared in your face as tears started to form in your eyes " cant even listen and do something right now?!"

"Kai please-" you whimpered and your eyes widenes when you noticed his glove on the hand he was holding your pulsefading away.

His quirk.

He was about to use his quirk on you.

"Kai calm down-!" You cried and hives started to appear on his face.

"Now you want me to calm down after irritating me right you useless-"

"LET GO OF ME CHISAKI!" You screamed but at the shock of you using his surname and shouting... Chisaki did ended up using his quirk on you.

His eyes widened as you shouted and clench your bleeding handless arm. Shit... what had he done...?

He almost stuttered for you to calm down and when he tried to get close to you to fix you screamed again.

"NO! GET AWAY FROM ME! STAY BACK!" ignoring your pleas he grabbed onto your arm as you trashed and screamed on his grasp as his eyes burned and finally fixing what he had done... physically at least.

Just when your hand was back you pushed yourself away from and falling on the ground as you stared up at him with wide fearfull eyes...

He felt so ridiculous and angered with himself at the sign of the one who trupy loved him staring back at him not like a man, but as a horrific monster...

"A-Angel I-" he crouched down and extended a hand towards your direction but soon returning it when you flinched at the montion. "... I'm.. (Y/n).. I.. I truly didn't want it-"

"Y-Yeah.." you whimperex while carefully getting up and maintaning a dostance from him "But you did..."

"(Y/n) wait just listen to-!" He stopped walking towards you as you rushed to the exit of his office, using his door as a shield.

"Kai not now..." you muttered and slammed the door shut. Leaving with the weight of guilt enough to bury him on the ground.

It pained him to hear the hurried footsteps and sobs fadind away and knowing he was the cause of it.

.

.

.

The day has been awful. He shoudl have listened to you and take a break... maybe then you would be by his side right now...

He walked like a deadman towards his room and sighed at the sign of the door closed before knocking. No one answered...

Allowing himself, he opened the door to spy that... you weren't there. Your pillow was the only thing missing and it let him with unknow pain on his chest as he closed the door.

He asked for Chrono and Mimic forbyour location ... but none of them opened their mouths. Those two were loyal to him but they also didn't want to see a quarrel in the night time. By the stain on Chrono's coat he could tell that you cried on him just minutes ago.

He frowned at the thought but couldn't just punish his friend for actually being a decent man... unlike him. After all, when was the last time he let you cry on his shoulder?

... when was the last time he actually gave you attention..?

He morned at his flaws before widening his eyes at seeing a covered lump on teh couch as his feet immediately dragged him.

He exhaled in relief at seing your sleeping face on there but immediately frowned at the sign of dried tears on it..

Crouching down by your side he frowned, carresing your cheek with his gloved thumb... but the mere touch was enough to rouse you from your sleep as you let out a scared yelp and scotted away... afraid of him.

That hurted more than that any punchs of miss treating he ever received on his life.

"I'm... Did I wake you?" He murmured before sitting on tge couch, legs spread as his arms rested on it.

You stared at him for a minute before averting your gaze from him to the floor as you hugged your legs closer to your chest.

"I... assume you're need some time still after what... happened." He frowned when you just blinked, a broken and saddened look on your (E/c)'s eyes as you carresed the wrist where he had injured.

"... I didn't wanted it. I never wanted this to happen." He admitted with a pain on his chest that it hurted even to talk... but your silence was killing him.

"Won't you say anything?" He looked at you with expectant eyes "Scream? Yell?... anything?"

You got up and faced away from him as he blinked.

"... I'm going to sleep in the guest's room."

"Sounds... fair." He sighed in despair as he watched you walk away and the distant sound of the door shutting.

Burring his face on his face he sighed. A headache coming along with the burn on his eyes.

What had he done..?

.

.

.

He tried many aproachs for 2 weeks. And nothing seemed to be changing anytime soon.

You didn't looked at his face and only answered him with one or two words if he was lucky enough. He couldn't even eat in peace without noticing you just made your plate and leave, with some excuse of cleaning up later.

That wasn't the problem...

When he tried flowers or even your favorite food you just declined with a shook of your head and gave the flowers to some epderly woman whoose aold them.

Why wont you accept it?

He heard rumors of the Hassaikai workers that they thought that you only didn't break up with him for fear of your life... or even that he wouldn't mind killing you just to find another.

What did you and them thought of him to say those things?

Ah. Of course.

A monster.

.

.

.

He aproached silently the living room where he found your reading. You soon casting him a glance before closing your novel and moving to get out.

"How long this will continue?" The words are harsh, but the tone of his voice was broken, pleading for you to just end this suffering.

You stopped right by his side, not spating him a glance as you furrowed your eyebrowss at the ground and clinging to your book.

"Will you leave?" He asked sorrowfully before you sighed.

"... if you ever lay a hand on me again. I will do worst than just leaving Chisaki." You spoke harsly and he actually felt fear with those words.

It was almost commical. Him, leader of the yakusa and with a dangerous quirk, fearing his quirkless girlfriend.

The day this happened conpleted one month....

.

.

.

He saw your messages.

Family and friends of yours didn't know he was a yakusa. But it was explicit on various texts that the only advice they were given you about the relationship was leaving him.

His heart actually clenched at it. Trembling hand holding the cellphone as hot drops of tears fell from his eyes.

He did fucked up...

.

.

.

The presents only increased. You felt good enough to eat again and even chattered more happipy around the precepts and with your therapist.

Everything was great... except for your current situation with your boyfriend.

You knew Kai had never the intention to use his quirk. Anger and exhaustion could inflect on someone's quirk and made them do mistakes they never meant to. But you were still avoiding him due to the trauma of having your hand literraly being overhauled and the hurtfull words he said.

That was the first time Chisaki took his anger out on you... yet you were still petulant about not giving any of your attention.

The only comfort you noticed he had was that you didn't flinched anymore when he moved or try it to get closer. Key word: try.

Of course you noticed he was deeply affected to it. To the point that even Rappa out of all people came to you to just ask to talk to him was alarming.

You were walking on the hallway before you made a confused sound at Chrono whoose whistle and mentioned with his fingers to make you come over where he was.

"What's the problem?" You asked and furrowed your eyebrows at seeing your suitcase on his other hand "why are you with my-?"

"Overhaul asked me to pick. He wanted to know if you would like to move." Your eyes widened at his words.

"Move? Is he kicking me out?"

"No." He shook his head before handling you a paper where it showed you all pictures of a luxury apartment "He just wants to know if you would be interested on living there instead."

"Huh..." you frowned at the paper before you lift your gaze at Chrono sighing and taking off his mask.

"He is tearing apart (Y/n)." You frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"Kai is conplicated. We all know. But I swear to you i never saw him like that. During this three months, he only worked at his bedroom. Didn't eat. Didn't clean... you see what I mean?"

You frowned even more... was he just as much hurting as you were?

"He is torn. Basically... it just activated a past trauma of his what he did."

"Past trauma? What the-" you stopped when he patted your shoulder.

"Not important. So? You want to or not?"

"... not entirely but just a few things." You mourned on your decision as he nodded,putting his mask back and going into Chisaki's office.

.

.

.

"... i see. Take her there."

"Kai come on... you guys at least can talk to each other-"

"No Chronostasis." He froze at the broken tone of voice of hsi friend as he stared with a empty look at the window. "She deserves a place of her own. Living with me would only make her worst."

"What about you then?" He chuckled sadly before rolling his eyes to see Chrono.

"I am just simply living through what a monster deserve."

....

(A/n):phew! Just came back with a amgsty scenario! Let me know if you guys want a second part of it! It just got way too big for one post.

[yesokayiknow]

okay so

the mind wipe thing doesn't just make twelve forget clara, it makes him unable to physically perceive her existence.

she's right in front of him and he can't see her. she never leaves the tardis and he literally is unable to notice her. following him around as he talks out loud to himself and she responds and because their minds are so similar when he responds to himself it's almost like he's responding to her. if she doesn't look at his face at his blank and lonely eyes it's almost like he can see her still.

so! we don't know how long there was between finale & husbands of river song but i’m gonna say it's a while! fun times

let's say a year.

let’s say a few years, even.

a few years of twelve doing all he can do to try and fill the gaping void in his memory all the while clara flits around after him like a shadow. i think it takes a few months before she stops talking out loud. or wait, no. she can just pretend he didn't hear her then, just pretend the background is too loud. it takes a few months for her to stop touching him. the lack of reaction there is just. so much worse.

and then one day he leaves. she doesn't leave after him.

(she’d tried a few times. it was worse somehow. even if other people try to make him notice her, he just cant hear them and it’s. it's so much worse)

so yeah. one day he leaves, and when he comes back, its with river song. clara’s not in view, but she can see river. and for a moment she thinks— she considers— but then what's the point? river clearly hasn't met her before, if she's still alive. and the doctor so rarely gets to see river. might as well hang back and not try and throw any spanners in.

the thing is, she THINKS its been years since gallifrey. a few years at most, she THINKS but. but she's barely there and time has always flowed differently and she doesn't need to eat or sleep or breathe and sometimes now she just. blinks. and she knows it's been more than a few moments.

sometimes she blinks and she has the sinking feeling that it's been years.

so she keeps herself in the tardis and she tries to keep herself present and aware and it doesn't always quite help.

river’s no longer here now. there's a man sometimes, and she thinks he can almost sense her. but that can't be right. she's not there, is she? she avoids him, this new person. he's not always around but she hides herself away whenever he's there. it's been. years? decades? and she doesn't remember being seen or heard. and if she walks out when this new man is here— if she walks out and there's NOTHING in his eyes—

well. there's a faint memory of being unable to die but if there was no awareness in his eyes then she thinks she might want to test that.

something she HAS noticed though, is that the tardis has stopped moving. that happened before, she thinks. when river was there? but the tardis has stopped and nobody enters it anymore.

and there's something in the back of her mind. as if there's a new....something. it's not quite in the tardis, but there's something almost familiar in her mind, like an old...friend? an old something. it taps away at her walls when it thinks she isn't noticing. it feels like the doctor. it isn't the doctor. she pushes the small amount of self she has left into a small space in her mind, almost without thinking about it. there's nothing there. there's something there. the doctor hasn't entered the tardis in years and nobody is there not even her she isn’t hearing anything she pushes it back and ignores it.

the tardis starts to move again.

and then, one day: a new person. a girl. she makes her way through as many rooms as she can, brimming with curiosity.

and clara doesn't bother hiding. what's the point? she isn't there.

it's been centuries and somebody is looking at her. it's been centuries and finally somebody catches her again when she starts to cry.

[furiosity-wills-the-cat]

Chara, the fourth Blook cousin:

A crack theory that accidentally become way more serious than it should have because it somehow, despite my best efforts, ended up making sense

Brought to you by my idiot conspiracy brain (affectionate) and by encouragement from my Tumblr followers

Under the cut for the sake of your dashes and sanity

Ok here we go my very elaborate accidental theory, because in order to answer the complex questions simply you must first make simple things more complex or something

First, you need to know that Chara became a Blook cousin by adoption.

All of the Blooks are adopted.

Ghosts are not born into families, they make their own.

Got it? Great, because we’re about to start running

so first, im gonna make surprisingly uncommon claim in this fandom, and I am going to say that undertale ghosts are all dead

I’m taking the tiny details we know about ghosts and sprinting with them to new places

Ghosts also do not have souls I decided

Undertale souls do not work the same as souls in traditional mythology

So every ghost is soulless Unless and Until they become corporeal

Evidence: Monster souls cant exist without bodies, and ghosts are monsters, therefore ghosts cannot have souls without bodies

Further evidence: Asriel doesnt steal blooky’s soul, blooky is unkillable, we have no concrete evidence that blooky has a soul

What about mettaton? He only has a soul after he has completely committed to being corporeal and to a specific body.

Also maddy and mettaton are both only killable while corporeal

Im also connecting the dots we have about souls in a new creative way so let me live for a second

Additionally, i am going to claim that there are a lot more ghosts than just the blooks, some evidence given below

Theres like actual scientific knowlege of ghosts in the undertale verse which seems unlikely if theres literally only three or four

The underground is so much bigger than you think, theres that giant forest in snowdin, a large town in the ruins, the huge city of new home, who knows how much space in the large open areas of waterfall etc. Its really really big okay

Also based off evidence of blooky, we can conclude that ghosts can turn invisible whenever they want to and/or haunt objects to hide

So I personally think that ghosts are, generally speaking, extremely reclusive

And the blooks are just a special exception, a beautiful family, amazing for them

So anyway im going with typical ghost lore for now, for the sake of ease, so im gonna say ghosts generally come from monsters who are particularly restless or unsatisfied when they die

HOWEVER i dont think they remember being monsters or anything before being a ghost. They just kinda fizzle into existance with a fully formed personality and immortality while being unkillable and feeling vaguely uneasy

ALSO i personally think that chara was a ghost for a long time before they became a blook by adoption

Based on game lore, i think ghosts can possess any inanimate object and just kinda wear it? But it takes a lot of strong emotion to become corporeal

And chara is the super weird exception because they were a human not a monster.

They dont have a soul (i headcanon that their soul got destroyed when asriel died)

And they KNOW this, which is a huge part of why they kinda just... give up

Because they lost their ability to fulfill prophecy

Also, without a soul, they lost their ability to reset, so for the first time since falling underground, theyre subject to the relentless march of time

But theyre still weirdly strong and powerful and more emotional

ALSO they DO still remember being a human but they catch on pretty quickly that other ghosts dont have memories and because chara is stupid they just lie to fit in

Theyre too tired to explain themself, they just want to be alone and feel awful

Now back to ghost lore

Emotions are a lot harder for ghosts??? I decided

And they dont know why,, they tend to blame it on the soul thing

But realistically its actually more of the immortality thing making actions not have consequences and/or or not having a body so they cant have a sense of touch or have physical effects of emotion

They all know that ghosts just tend to be way more floaty and bored and numb

And thats part of why the blooks are so special

Maddy’s rage and Mettaton’s yearning and Napstablook’s misery are like... not great all of the time...

but theyre also way way more emotion than most ghosts have,,, they are just a family supporting each other, being as functional as they can,, just an emo(tional) ghost family

most ghosts barely do anything except like stare at walls but the blooks have their snail farm and that helps them have purpose and it is good

And they hold each other accountable and it is nice

So anyway chara just chills and is in a depression coma for a few decades before the blooks find them and are like “our child/baby cousin”

and they raise them for a cool minute

They are all very protective of the new baby emo blook

And chara doesnt get therapy but at the very least they once again have a family, and they decide they want to try to become corporeal eventually just like mtt and maddy

So anyway chara starts hanging out in the ruins a lot more and they finally tell the blooks theyre leaving to go become corporeal in the ruins

This is actually because they are trying to hang out with toriel

because they miss their mom ;;

but chara’s not gonna admit that to anyone, especially not to themself

And because theyre still repressing their emotions constantly and pretending to be fine, they cant become corporeal

And they hang out in the ruins for a long time because they feel guilty lying to everyone about everything

They still feel like its their fault that all the monsters are stuck underground, because they were SUPPOSED to save everyone and they COULDNT and it HURTS

But again, they are doing too much repression to use this guilt to become corporeal,

so instead they just kinda hide and watch toriel from a distance and cry

Blooky visits them the most, thats why blooky is chilling in the ruins so much at the start of the game

Theyre just there to visit their shy baby cousin ;;

Ofc they wont tell frisk about this because chara wants space and privacy and blooky respects that

but maddy and mtt also visit them a lot

Oh also when mtt and maddy start dissapearing, blookys mental health plummets as their family and support system starts to dissolve

Blooky was actually doing extremely well (for a ghost) for a long time, i headcanon,

but theyre doing the worst theyve been in a long long time during the game, because of family issues

So anyway, chara dissapears when frisk shows up, and maddy assumes this is becaude frisk hurt their fragile feelings

Maddy spends hours desperately searching the ruins for chara and cant find them and assumes that they had their heart crushed and went to hide and disappear in a depression coma for another few decades, and thats part of why maddy is so furious with frisk

Like,, to be clear, maddy is still jumping to conclusions and throwing blame around with no proof, but also, its a logical conclusion to come to

And mettaton has already disappeared too and been gone for a while, too, by this point, so it hurts even worse

But anyway, what actually happened to chara is that;

Because chara is a human ghost, not a monster ghost, normal ghost rules dont apply to them

And they can possess living things too they find out

Maybe they knew it a long time ago, maybe its a new discovery, but for whatever reason they end up possessing frisk and theyre like “what the heck”

And frisk still has most of the control

But now chara is like,,, “this is my chance, im a human again, gotta save the world for real,,,”

and they cant explain this to anyone without revealing their past

so they just chill in frisk’s mind while being super crypic and trying to figure out how it works

Pacifist route, this is pretty much exactly what happens

They manage to help frisk save the day

And in my headcanon, the no mercy route is started by frisk who is scared when faced by monsters attacking them

And then chara, who was aready hiding in a semidepression coma for a while, immediately transitions to a panicked “gotta protect this body, gotta protect my chance to be human, i died and threw away my chance to save everyone the first time, i CANNOT lose this chance again”

And so the combination of both frisk and chara is the genocide run

Because frisk kills in self defense, and whenever frisk hesitates, chara jumps in

Also theres leftover feelings from the whole asriel incident

Because again, ghosts come from monsters who died unsatisfied

And chara’s main source of unsatisfaction is how they were trying to get asriel to kill people before he died and then he didnt

So thats a strong strong feeling ruling them

So anyway by the time they both realize how bad its become they figure its too late and also the amount of LOVE has made them numb

And thats when chara who, despite everything, still has idiot hero complex and thinks they need to save the world

So, while panicking, they step in at the very end, and erase the timeline and delete everything

And also to clarify

They DONT HAVE this power at any other point in the game

Because, guess why

They become corporeal

Just like maddy, the no mercy route is the only thing that gives them strong enough emotion to spontaneously become corporeal

So they become corporeal and as soon as they have a soul again and can reset again, they just erase everything

Ok back to fluff

Post pacifist route, they are still a non corporeal ghost

They can still float around and look just like the other blooks

And it takes them a while to open up about things, but they do end up moving back in with blooky so that blooky isnt completely alone

And also they do way better with a family

Also they can float through the mountain and talk to flowey down below and bring him news

And now that they know about him, they can bond with him and explain that they dont have a soul either but that doesnt mean theyre worthless

Oh ALSO

The other dead humans dont have ghosts

BECAUSE

ghosts only come from restless dead MONSTERS

and chara is the weird special exception

Because they were a monster when they died

They became a ghost and asriel didnt because they were way more restless and stressed than asriel was when both of them died

Like sure, asriel felt awful, but chara was the one who was way more like “this is my fault, i CANT die now, the world NEEDS me”

So anyway

charablook the emo tween ghost and asriel flowey the eldrich goat daisy are siblings once more and they hang out and eventually they are okay and have a family again

Thank you for reading, this has been my thoughts on a crack theory that accidentally went too far

This isnt even everything, maybe i’ll make a part two eventually, but i promised to have this post out like two days ago, so i wanted to post SOMTHING

Anyway leave your thoughts if youd like

Im not looking for people to disprove it, i already know its crazy, i dont think it was intentional by the game writers, but i do think its a fun concept

thats the fun of it, so if anyone wants to run with it im all for it lol

Thanks again! Have a nice day!

[boypussydilf]

relatiobnships ask game tell me about umm ummm [trying to think of who you havent been asked for yet] SAM AND MAX.right now

THEYRE JUST FUNNEY LITTLE ANIMALS. HEHEHEH MY CREATURES

describe their canon relationship/dynamic

wait the entire series is built on their dynamic bc 95% of the point of sam and max is just them talking to each other but how do u even. describe it. uhh. Absolutely Terminal Amounts Of Banter. also beating each other up. theyre so?? they just walk around Constantly making jokes just for the others entertainment and also often lightly insulting each other. & also theyve known each other their whole lives and theyre soul bonded. they literally cant be apart from each other for more than a few seconds. seperate them and they both immediately become deeply depressed. theyre codependent. and they show affection by being a little mean to each other and throwing each other through walls. (well sam throws max through walls. i dont think max could lift sam. he bites him tho)

your ideal/headcanon version of it? how does it differ from how it is in canon & why is this your favorite version? any other alternate versions of it you enjoy?

aside from the fact that my brain probably remembers them slightly differently bc i havent seen them outside of short clips in a while. mostly im just. the same as 90% of sam and max fans where its. What if they were the same but they got married 90 times for fun. but arguably they have gotten married in canon so

what do you like about their relationship, why is it interesting or enjoyable to you?

THEYRE LITERALLY JUST FUNNY. they are just very funny as individual concepts and significantly more funny put together. their interactions are great for their interactions are the backbone of their franchise. also i love codependency

what about the individual characters involved? what does this relationship mean to them, what makes it unique among their relationships?

They literally dont know how to exist without each other <3 if sam does not have his little freak there to bounce witty lines off of everything else completely loses meaning. if max does not have his bestie there to hear his deranged comments then hes just being deranged on his own and thats no fun. they met when they were like 8 or something and now its been decades since they were in different rooms for more than a few minutes. they need each other there is something wrong with them and it works for them so its OK

favorite interaction they have in canon

UMM we dont. see it. but i think maybe the thing said in some article or interview or something abt them meeting bc max stole sams lunch back from kids who had stolen it from him. I Think It Was Something Like That. i love that. also i like the opening scene of the thhhird episode of the first telltale game i think? where sam is tossing max up in the air like a baby so he can reach the darts board & then the phone rings and sam stops for a second. thinks abt it. then throws max against the wall so he can go get the phone. (this isnt like a one time thing its a running gag thru thr whole series that whenever the phone rings they physically fight to get it (and sam always wins). but thats my favorite instance bc of the little *pause* *thinking* *tosses max over his shoulder slamming him into the wall like a sack of rice*)

favorite interaction they have in your head/a situation you want to put them in

oh man i dont know. 305 angst. sam n max fans will look at the 1 serious part of this immensely silly consequences might as well not exist franchise and go Is anyone going to get hung up on this forever and make emotional content about it? and not wait for an answer. and theyre right. hey telltale wh. how did you come up with the devils playhouse. why did. what the fuck is the city that dares not sleep who thought of that. steve purcell approved this. hello? hello?

okthats all thank you <3

[first-and-last-neocount]

Whumptober Day 4

This is it. The big one.

This is the all-devouring AU that has now eaten nearly half of my Whumptober fill ideas. It’s a scenario I’ve carried in my brain for years, and when I initially looked through the prompt list this year and decided to write for it, my brain said ‘Hey, look at that Escape prompt. You could write something for that one AU that would fit that. And this one could work as a follow-up!’ and I said yeah, sure, why not. And I listed those ideas as ‘Escape!AU’, because that was the one that sparked the idea and I figured there’d only be one or two others. 

By now, the AU has absorbed close to a dozen other prompts. They’re wildly out of order, of course, because I’m writing them in order of the prompts and not how those moments happen in the story. With every additional prompt I write out, there is the chance that it will mutate before my eyes and become part of the Escape!AU with little to no input or control from myself. I feel like I invited the muse for this story into my head without realizing that it’s not a fluffy hamster, IT’S A BLOODY TRIBBLE. 

That being said, I should probably have at least kinda seen it coming, because it’s a fix-it for the ending of CoS. That’s a topic that I... feel passionately about, to put it mildly. This is that other AU I mentioned yesterday, where Gerald still has extra-special Hunter powers and the Patriarch did not manage to take the fae away from everyone; please just go with it, and I’ll actually address how that happened at some point. Although the Gerald-not-actually-being-mortal isn’t really relevant in this bit, because he’s so drained from everything that’s happened that it doesn’t do anything to resolve the situation. 

That’s what we have Damien for. 

Opening two lines, in italics, are quoted directly from Crown of Shadows to help set where the scene splits from canon. 

Day 4 - Theme Chosen: “Do you trust me?”

Damien hesitated, then looked at Gerald. The Hunter nodded ever so slightly. “He's right, Damien.” His voice was quiet but strained. “There's nothing more you can do here.”

“Gerald-”

The Hunter was already shaking his head. Damien felt his throat constrict, as if the force of his own panic and despair was physically crushing it. He knew what the next word from Gerald's mouth was going to be, knew that the adept was going to send him away, that this was how it was all going to end; blood and bitterness and revenge, all that potential for redemption wrenched away at the last second, wasted...

Do you trust me?

He'd never initiated contact through the link before – the few times they'd spoken through it, Gerald had been the one to open the connection, Damien only responding to the Hunter's questing reach. It wasn't as hard as he might have thought, though; only a matter of reaching for that ever-present sense of connection that throbbed quietly between them, touching that indefinable thread that bound them and spilling his thoughts into it, the question carried forward in a rush by the tide of fear and desperation that was sweeping through him. Damien saw the Hunter twitch slightly, grey eyes widening in surprise at the message, or at the strength of the emotions that accompanied it – but the response came immediately nonetheless, no hesitation on the other man's part.

Yes.

Damien looked back at Andrys, the young man's green eyes blazing with restless fury as he waited for the Knight to step aside, and let his whole demeanour shift. He dropped his hands from where they'd been held, conciliatory, in front of him; he let his shoulders shift up and back, his stance transforming from defensive to confident, even cocky, as he hardened his expression into a look of stern determination. He saw shock and uncertainty ripple through Andrys at just the change in his body language, and he went for the opening with ruthless speed, forcing even his voice to come out steady and unaffected.

“Fine. Since you're not buying the concerned ally angle... let me put this a little more plainly. You're ruining my plan, boy.”

“What?”

The shocked exclamation had come, in the same tone, from both Gerald and Andrys in nearly the same breath. Damien forced the tiny urge to laugh hysterically into the furthest recesses of his mind, glaring at Andrys with all the disdain he could muster.

“You know what he is, and in case it escaped your notice, I'm a priest,” he bit out, gesturing dismissively at Gerald where the adept stood half-shielded behind him, lean frame now rigid with disbelief at the scene unfolding in front of him. “You think I actually wanted to have to work with a monster to save the world? That I seriously planned to just let him walk away when all this was said and done?”

Already, there was a flash of dawning understanding in Andrys's eyes; the young man looked from Damien to Gerald and back, the blind aggression on his face giving way to realization as he put the pieces together.

“You set him up...”

“I swore, back on the day I first found out that he was the Hunter, that I'd kill him with my own two hands,” Damien growled, and felt the fae around him shimmer with the force of the truth behind those words, so obvious that surely even Andrys could see it. With his adept's Sight, Gerald certainly could – and had, judging by the sudden alarm that flickered over his face. “I've been biding my time for vulking years, fighting this damn war, putting up with his power slithering through my head – I've endured nightmares and murders and horrors beyond your comprehension, and now you're just going to waltz in and finish him off, just when I've finally got the upper hand? No. No, I don't think so.”

He could feel real trepidation bleeding through the link now, knew that he had forced just enough true resentment into his words to off-balance Gerald – and Andrys must have been able to see it in the adept's face as well, because the young man suddenly laughed, a malicious little chuckle half choked by his own heightened emotions.

“Well, that's certainly a twist,” he said, eyes gleaming as he lowered the springbolt in his hands ever so slightly, the angle of the bolt canting down just enough that it was no longer aimed at Damien's chest but more at hip height. “And, from the looks of it, one that you weren't expecting.” Those words, dripping with spite, were aimed at Gerald, who actually flinched again in response. Andrys's gaze swung back to Damien, a dark, sick hunger that reminded the former Knight all too much of Calesta stirring behind his eyes. “So, you're the priest... Jaxom told me about you. Said you'd lost your way, fallen further than even he expected.” A smirk tugged at his lips. “This makes more sense, though. You needed this bastard too much to kill him then, but of course you're angry. What was the plan? Bring him back here and walk right into the heart of the crusade, so you'd have backup?”

“Of course.” Damien forced a mirroring smirk onto his own features, and though it felt heinously wrong on his face, Andrys didn't seem to notice anything amiss with it. “I'm not an idiot – I want payback, but I know he's still powerful. I wasn't going to provoke that showdown unless I knew I had some kind of safety net.”

Andrys nodded, his eyes glittering; Damien could all but see the pieces aligning in his mind, the world finally taking a shape that meshed sensibly with the young man's own personal mania.

“I see,” he said finally, the springbolt lowering a little more – the weapon was heavy, his arms had to be tiring by now. “It was my family that he slaughtered, you know... but I understand what you're saying, as well. You had to travel with him, endure him, for the entire fight against Calesta – that can't have been easy. I won't deny you have a claim on his head, but I think you must see my point of view as well...”

Damien barely heard his words. His eyes were on the springbolt, watching the nose dip further and further – until, as Andrys rambled on about the weight of their differing claims and his own suffering in having to work with Calesta to put an end to the Hunter, the trajectory of the bolt fell so far that it was aimed at the very ground.

Now!

Damien shoved the word through the link at the same time that he moved, lunging forward with every ounce of speed his tense muscles could offer. He left his reservations behind him, the conflict that had raged through him for so long suddenly silenced, irrelevant; as it had that night in Morgot when Hesseth's tidal Working had hit them, his innate drive to defend those he cared for subsumed everything else, every other voice in his head drowning under the overwhelming instinct to protect.

Andrys was wearing too much armour to try any more delicate method of incapacitating him, so Damien fell back on the basics; closing the distance between them with that desperate lunge, he brought his arm back and punched Andrys in the jaw with all the force he could muster. Even in his exhausted state, his speed and strength were forces to be reckoned with. Andrys had tried to react to Damien's sudden attack, jerking the springbolt back up and getting off a single shot, but Gerald had taken Damien's cue to throw himself to the side out of Andrys's line of attack; the bolt fired at a useless angle, flying low across the room to bury itself in the far wall near the floor. Then, Damien's blow connected.

Damien wasn't just well-trained in combat; as a Healer, he knew exactly how to do the most damage to the human body when he needed to. The gorget of the armour was protecting Andrys's throat too well for a jab to connect, but the sideways force of a blow could be an effective method of knocking an opponent out as well, if the attacker had aimed correctly. Damien had thrown the punch from as much of a sideways angle as he could manage, his fist coming in from the side with terrifying force; as it connected, Andrys's head snapped hard to the side, and the young man crumpled to the ground like a marionette with cut strings, knocked instantly unconscious by the force of his own brain being slammed against the inside of his skull.

The crash of his armoured form hitting the floor was followed by utter silence, broken only by Damien's own heavy breathing. He stared down at the young man, heart pounding with delayed adrenaline, feeling a wave of numbness slowly wash through him and replace the panic that had driven him to action.

God, forgive me... is this what I've become? Is this what You wanted when you brought us together, or have I truly lost myself so badly?

“Damien?”

The soft utterance of his name snapped Damien out of his trance, and he turned, shaking off the fog. Gerald had closed the distance between them in his moment of distraction and was now standing only a couple feet away, staring at Damien as if he'd never seen the Knight before, grey eyes wide. He didn't say anything else aloud, but he didn't need to; the link between them was saturated with emotion. Shock, wonder, gratitude, a fading echo of wariness...

And something else. Something so strong, so deeply felt, that it took Damien's breath away all over again. A sense of devotion, almost akin to his own fierce faith in God yet so much more personal, flooding through the link between their souls. A dizzying awareness that a line had been crossed, and a promise made: not with words, but with actions, unable to be taken back or misinterpreted. Gerald was wholly aware of what Damien had just declared, by stepping between himself and his descendant, by striking out at Andrys in defence of the Hunter – and he was returning the sentiment tenfold.

There would be time to put it all into words later. Damien took a deep breath, finally feeling the ground firm beneath his feet once more, his world steadying from where it had tilted on its axis in the moment he thought that Gerald was going to die.

“Time to grab what we came for and get the Hell out of here,” he said, mouth dry. “I'd say we're pretty definitively out of time.”

As Gerald nodded and turned to find the books they'd risked so much for, Damien moved to help, marveling at the way the link remained open and resonating between them, emotions flowing freely back and forth – and wondering what it meant for the state of his immortal soul that none of those emotions, from either end of the link, was anything like regret.

[alkhale]

Enough for Two (Tendou x Mute!Reader) Ko-fi request

So sorry but here come the waves of request that i have for you.if you cant write some it doesnt matter.I like being able to make requests but i especially want to support you. Can i get a Tendou x reader fic please?

If and when your commissions are open would you be open to writing about a Soulmates AU Reader/Satori Tendou or what ever AU/Non AU you want? If you have too much on your plate, then no worries I just really enjoy your writing!

Also found here on AO3 if it’s more convenient to read, please enjoy!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24785287

---- ---- ----- -----

Sometimes people do things without reason to give themselves reason.

It’s a bit of a strange thought, but it’s really the only thing that makes sense to you in this situation right now at lease.

You watch your notebook go sailing across the hallway floor, sliding like a hockey puck until it smacks with finality against the opposite wall. You stare, still on your hands and knees from where you’d been about to pick it up and feel an incoming sigh well up in your lungs, hefty and full of power.

The sigh leaves your lips, nothing but a quiet, big gust of air. It does nothing compared to the racket of laughter filling the hall, shrill giggles that make you wonder if your own laugh sounds like that. You pray not.

In a perfect world, you imagine yourself turning your head to the trio of girls behind you—always in threes, isn’t it?—turning around to face their laughter with a disgusted frown and opening your mouth and spitting out, “ What the hell is your problem?” They’d probably turn white as ghosts and go screaming for the hills.

But the girls don’t go screaming for the hills. They continue to laugh and those words never leave your lips. They can’t, anyway, and your notebook is all the way at the other end of the hall since one of them sent it flying with a good kick. You remain there on your knees, staring after it for a long while before you turn back to the three girls.

They smile at you, bright, glossy sneers pulled over their lips.

You’re not really sure what it is but you think this is where you hypothesis comes into play—bullying doesn’t quite make sense, but at a school like Shiratorizawa where the students are rich and wonderful and have mostly met the hierarchy of needs necessary for a good life—they get bored. And when students are bored their minds wander, their hands wander, and their eyes wander too, all the way until they land on the girl who never says a word in the corner of their class they like to call a freak even though her problem isn’t freakish—it’s perfectly diagnosable.

When people get bored they sometimes need a reason to remind themselves they exist, even if there really is no reason for that at all.

“Oh, sorry,” the first one says, exactly the way they would in a drama—it’s a little amazing, actually. Maybe art imitates life more than you thought. “We didn’t see it there.”

“You shouldn’t just crawl on the floor like that,” another says. “What if someone tripped over you?”

“You look sad like that,” the last one says, pitifully. “Need some help?”

You gaze at them for a long moment, meeting their eyes in silence. They snicker, putting hands daintily over their mouths. They’re the annoying types who like to make sure their arm sleeves are folded up nice and neat so everyone can see the ink black words scrawled out on their skin, make sure it’s not hindered at all, bold and visible.

They start shooting each other looks. “Can you believe her?” they say to each other. “Look at her, oh my god. Is she for real?” and “Wow, this is so sad. We should stop.”

But they’re bored, so of course they’re not going to stop.

It’s useless, but you move your fingers anyways, aggressively shifting your hands in the air.

“ No, thanks. You can scram you pieces of shit. I’m tired of choking on your perfume. ”

It’s quite a hefty amount of words leaving your fingers. They take it as your way of feebly apologizing or saying something that fits their narrative and they giggle, turning on their heels and leaving you behind. This probably won’t be the last you see of them, not until graduation, but that’s fine.

It’s just one more year.

You wait until they disappear around the corner and finally stand up, brushing dust off your skirt and your knees. You stare at the floor for a few minutes, thinking up words and sentences in your head and using the memory of voices you like to imagine your own voice sounding just like that—telling them off and giving them a scare.

“W-What? You’re not mute? Oh my god!”

Yeah. You think, scoffing in silence at yourself. As if.

You feel a bit more resentful than usual even though this isn’t really anything new. They’ve done worse; tripping you in the halls or shoving you on their way to their desks. You’re just a picture perfect target in their pitifully cliche world to give them more meaning to their otherwise useless lives.

When you think of it in such a haughty manner, it does make you feel a bit better. Just a bit, because this still sucks.

You shake your head, reluctant to go get your notebook but knowing you need to do it anyway. You rub the etched, pale marking on your wrist for reassurance and start the long trek down the hall, keeping your eyes on the floor.

If it gets anymore annoying or anymore physical, you’ll bring it up to the teachers. You hate the thought of getting the staff involved but you’re not stupid enough to let them get bold enough to shove you down some stairs and risk your life. Who knew what the hell these pigeons were capable of? You’d just be the sad, bullied mute kid telling on the teachers but who cared?

No one.

Your stickered notebook pops up in your vision, grinning food stickers beaming back up at you. You blink, briefly terrified for a second before your head quickly snaps upwards.

His shocking red hair juts up in your field of vision first, followed by the easy, sneaky looking slant of his eyes and the almost perched little way his lips curve up into a tiny, peckish smile. Beside his face he throws up a giant peace sign with his two fingers.

“Hiyah,” he says, grinning cheekily at you. “This is yours, rrrrriiiiggghhhtt?”

He’s in your class, you realize, mind racing. Tendou, I think. He’s on the volleyball team and he sits two chairs behind you. You remember all this because you always collect the papers up at the front and see his name, messy and hurried. And he talks a lot too. He’s loud and laughs and teases people all the time in class—you watch him sometimes because you’re a bit jealous of how much he talks, how much he’s able to talk, shifting the tone of his voice in all these little creative ways, whether because he’s making fun of someone or just answering a question.

He feels like someone who really, really makes good use of his voice. Makes sure it's used, you mean. Doesn’t waste it.

You like that.

Tendou flaps the book once in front of you. You blink, quickly nodding and reaching out to take it.

He holds it up over his head, grinning down at you.

You stare up at him in disbelief, feeling your stomach sink.

Not him too. You knew he was notorious for being disliked amongst some of your peers—people tended to forget you were mute, not deaf—and he teased people however he liked. He was a generally tough nut to figure out no matter how you looked at it, but you never took him for a small time school bully either.

Disheartened, you wordlessly look up at him, frowning. Tendou continues to smile, holding your notebook over his head.

“Is that what you say to someone who helps you?” he says. “Nooooothing?”

I can’t. You mouth, pressing your hands to your mouth. I can’t. Sorry. You move your lips, exaggerating how you mouth the words. Thank you. Please give it back.

“Nope!” Tendou says. “Try again.”

He’s ridiculously tall. He really must be good at volleyball too. There’s no way you’re getting it with a measly jump. Your hand clenches into a fist at your side, your free hand twitching on instinct to sign out your words but you wordlessly try mouthing them at him again, feeling your frustration bubble up useless into your throat.

“Come on, I know you can do it,” Tendou says cheerfully. You clench your fist harder. His free hand moves sloppily in the air in front of you, waving his fingers in a lazy sort of manner that matches the easy look on his face, amused. “Try again!”

Wait a minute.

Your eyes quickly hone in on his free hand, staring at him in stunned disbelief. Tendou’s smile widens and he moves his hand again, shifting his fingers. With purpose. Not uselessly. You stare at Tendou’s hand, eyes growing round in shock. Your jaw drops and you look back at Tendou.

“Try,” Tendou signs and says, grinning like an imp, “Again!”

Your hands quickly move, “Thank you.”

Tendou drops your notebook right into yours hands, grinning. You stare, stunned and disbelieving, a part of you realizing he signs terribly—he must’ve just learned—and Tendou throws his hands behind his head with a whistle. “There ya go! You’re not so mute now, are ya!”

Your eyes shoot up to Tendou’s but he’s already turning, waving his hand at you and disappearing around the hall. “Bye bye (L/n)-chan!”

You’re still standing in the hallway like an idiot, staring at the spot where Tendou had been in disbelief.

Tendou, the loud, tall, bright red-head kid in your class, the same kid you never saw yourself ever communicating with, the same kid who was on your school’s top notch volleyball team, the same kid who made fun of people and scared others off and only hung out with his team—

Knew how to sign? A bit? Badly?

You blink, stunned.

Huh?

---- ---- -------

“Wow! This thing is practically empty!”

Your head shoots up in shock at the familiar voice, eyes going round as Tendou sits in the desk in front of you—it’s very much not his desk and you think you can see the bothered student at the front by the door, but his friends shoo him away from saying anything as Tendou continues to flip through your notebook. It’s nothing private—small questions to people or asking someone to hand you something when you couldn’t speak up or gesture. This notebook was the one you carted around to try and communicate with your classmates, hoping to start conversations and talk with them.

No one used it, so you didn’t either.

Tendou doesn’t look the slightest bit bothered, big and lanky and taking up all the space as he continues to flip through the notebook. He hums to himself, lips pursed in that funny little way of his until he gets to the empty pages.

You stare at him like some kind of exotic bird, a bit mystified by his presence.

“Say, (L/n)-chan,” Tendou says. “Isn’t this kind of sad? You even wrote Communication Notebook on this, but there’s not much communication going on, is there?”

You move your hands, signing, “ Not many people to talk to. It can’t be helped.”

Tendou’s eyes rapidly follow your hands and he squints, making a constipated face. You exhale quietly in amusement, signing again, slower, watching to see if he understands. Tendou’s face becomes unreadable and then he turns to you, lips pulled up into a massive, almost creepy grin.

“(L/n)-chan, how bold! Didya just say you like me?”

You shake your head. Tendou blows a loud horse sigh through his lips, flapping them. He’s clearly upset you didn’t make more of a show of the whole joke. Instead, you take your notebook from his willing hands and write. “Sorry. I was wondering if you knew how to sign. There aren’t many people to talk to so it can’t be helped.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Tendou says, waving a hand. “I only learned a little to get your attention anyway. Makes sense~”

You stare at Tendou, stunned by his honesty.

“Aren’t ya bored of just sitting here all quiet?” Tendou asks.

You write, “I guess.”

“Ugh. I’d get bored. I like talking, you know? It fills up the silence real nice. You know what I mean?”

“ Yes. I like it when you talk too.”

“That was supposed to be a joke. I was kinda making fun of you. (L/n)-chan are ya not good at picking up jokes too? Or are you just flirting with me?”

“No. It’s just how I feel.”

“Haha, okay, you weirdo! Why don’t you teach me some more sign language then, hmm? I bet you’ll get awful tired writing in that all day and I’m a pretty quick study~”

You stare at Tendou, lowering your book and frowning at him. Tendou continues to grin, his little perched lip look, sneaky and unassuming as he waggles his brows at you. You sort of understand why your classmates call him creepy, but it’s mostly from his heights and mannerisms more than anything else. Otherwise, Tendou Satori is just… another teenage boy.

You pinch your fingers together into an okay sign, still marveling at the strange creature in front of you.

Tendou’s eyes drift absently to the pale mark on your wrist and he grins, holding up his fingers in a peace sign, using it like scissors to cut your okay sign in half.

You stare at him.

“Sheesh, can’t get any reaction out of you, can I? What a tough crowd!”

--- --- --- ---- ----

This is the first time you’ve ever had class with Tendou. It’s your first time properly “talking” to him too. You know him from the announcements, from the rumours that spread here and there about his unsettling ways and most importantly, you see him on the screens when your school calls the students together to watch the boys’ volleyball team dominate Sendai’s qualifiers all over again.

Outside of staring at him from time to time and appreciating the way he talks, that day two weeks ago now in the hallway is still the first time the two of you have ever properly interacted. The day after that he approached you in class and now everyday since—Tendou talks to you.

And he talks a lot too.

Between classes he talks to you, sidling up with his lanky, swaying body like some kind of cowboy from a foreign western. He perches over and sprawls across your desk like the two of you have been friends for years, talking about school, about class, about your classmates even or this and that, but he mostly talks about you, anime, or volleyball.

He walks you between classes since the two of you mostly share each one and he stands or crouches by your desk, talking and talking while you frantically scribble or take a few minutes each class period to try to teach him new phrases and words. He didn’t lie about being a quick study, but he’s still sloppy so it’s funny to watch.

This whole thing is a bit bewildering, to be honest. You don’t know what prompted Tendou Satori to start talking to you and make such an emblazoned effort, but maybe it’s for something similar to why those three girls like to pick on you. For no real reason at all.

You don’t really mind it, to be honest. Reason or not—he’s an entirely welcome presence, jokes, teasing, and strangeness—all of it.

“Did you like this week’s Jump ?”

“Yes,” you sign and then switch to writing. “The new chapter for Chainsaw Man was good. It made me sad though.”

“Wow, wow, (L/n)-chan you like the gorey stuff, huh?” Tendou muses, tapping your book. “Scary! I thought you’d like We Never Learn better or one of the other ones.”

“ Act-Age is good,” you write. “I’m invested. Which one do you follow? ”

“The classics! One Piece! My Hero! All the typical, easy to understand, not too complicated—I’m just kidding, don’t you think Denji’s an idiot?”

“ Yes, but I like him too. ”

“(L/n)-chan, don’t tell me that’s your type of guy,” Tendou gasps, looking scandalized. “Uneducated perverts?”

“ No, ” you sign and then write, “ I like guys that seem hard to understand but aren’t.”

“Ugh, that sounds like a headache!” Tendou flops entirely onto your desk and you raise your notebook to write. “I can only talk about Jump with you, Wakatoshi said he won’t read it until the end of the season for us! Can you believe him?”

“Yes. ”

“Traitor! (L/n)-chan, you beautiful traitor~ How cruel~”

You turn your notebook over so Tendou can read it. He squints up at you.

“Not that I mind, but Tendou, is there a reason why you started talking to me?”

“The golden question!” Tendou shouts, not even trying to sit up. You move your notebook so you can see his face and Tendou just grins back up at you, looking satisfied. “Does there have to be one?”

You shake your head. Tendou hums, content. “Perfect! We’re on the same page then.”

Tendou nearly cracks the spine of his Jump that he leant to you, opening up the pages and holding it over both of your heads. You have to weasel awkwardly under his arm and crane your head to look up at what he’s looking at too, faces side by side and Tendou grins. “Now, what did you think about Promised Neverland’s finale?”

-- ---- ---- ---- ----- ----

You stare at your empty shoe locker in silence, frowning at the sight of it.

The shoes that were supposed to be there no longer are. You stare at it for a moment longer, glancing down to your school slippers and then silently turning over to the trashcan a few feet away. You gaze at it for a long time before walking over to it with your head held high, ignoring the outburst of giggles and feigned gasps of disgust as you come to stand in front of it.

You tuck your notebook into your bag, lifting the lid of the bin up. Some students look over in confusion and several make faces as you roll up your sleeves, spotting your shoes under a heap of lunch trash and papers. The snickers and giggles grow louder and louder, a waste of the sound you wish you could emit yourself.

“ Flying super Satori kiiiiiiiiick! ”

A long leg snaps into view before a foot promptly smashes into the trash bin, knocking it sideways and spilling trash into the shoe locker entryway. Students jump aside, shouting in disgust while you gape in disbelief, staring at the pile of trash before your head snaps over to the criminal, eyes bulging.

Tendou stays crouched on the floor, sticking his tongue out and throwing you a peace sign from where he sort of crab walks beside you like some kind of creep, uncaring in how the other students gape at him like an alien. “How was that? Pretty cool, right? Ten points?”

You stare at Tendou, mouth slack.

His hands swipe out and he snatches your dirty shoes, shooting up to his full height and nearly forcing you to jump back in surprise. He grins at you, wiggling his brows before he grandly turns on his heels, your shoes in one hand while he loudly shouts with the other, “Oh, my goodness! Who made this mess? Someone better clean it up before a teacher comes!”

“Hey!”

“Tendou, what the heck you crazy bastard? You’re the one who knocked it—”

“Sorry,” Tendou shouts in horrible English. “I don’t speak Japanese!”

“Tendou—”

Tendou snatches your hand with his free one, breaking out into a gleeful sprint. You hurry to keep up after his long, lunging legs, practically huffing in exertion while Tendou holds your dirty shoes and he tosses his head back and laughs and you stare at him in disbelief, throat constricting tightly as you leave the other students and noise behind.

The evening glow turns his hair fiery and redder. Tendou’s laugh seems almost insane and infectious at the same time. It makes you feel a little hysterical, chest growing tighter. You can’t hear anything else but your own pants and his racket of laughter.

He runs with you in tow all the way to the volleyball gym, right where the two of you normally part ways and he goes to practice and you go home.

Tendou tosses your shoes into the nearby watering sink with a flourish, twirling on his heel like he’s dancing for you and moving his lanky body in all sorts of funny ways before he tosses the spout on and watches the water pour over your shoes, humming.

You stare at his broad back. You stare at it for what feels like an eternity, panting heavily, shoulders and legs trembling because you don’t do sports like this monster of a young man in front of you. Tendou turns the water off and turns to you with a peckish grin, twirling a bandaged finger. “Out of breath already? You should get into better shape, (L/n)-chan!”

Tendou fishes your soaking shoes out from the trough, gives it a quick inspection before nodding, flapping them out with one hand while he casually continues speaking, “You know, now that I think about it, the name was a bit cheesy. Maybe something like, Flying Kick of Justice or maybe—”

You quietly hold your arms out in front of you, spreading them a bit. Tendou arches a brow, looking at you with his little impish smile.

You take a few meaningful steps forward. Tendou doesn’t move, staying still until your face collides with his chest and you wrap your arms around him. Tendou just continues to smile, looking amused while you raise your hands and sign above your head at him.

“Thank you.”

“Oh, (L/n)-chan,” Tendou sighs, but he throws one arm around you anyway, patting your head. “You’re so awkward. Lucky for you, I’m great at dealing with verbally stunted people. My best friend hardly speaks a word after all!”

The door to the volleyball gym slides open, revealing none other than the superstar himself—Ushijima Wakatoshi. Tendou blinks and you look over at the volleyball legend, blinking as well.

“Tendou,” Ushijima says. “Practice in two minutes.”

Without another word the door slides back shut. You stare at it while Tendou breaks out into laughter. “See! What did I tell you?”

--- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---

It’s three months into this—hanging out, getting to know each other, learning, communicating, becoming friends with Tendou Satori that you first notice.

You hadn’t meant to look in the first place since you didn’t think about soulmates and what-not often, but it just happened when Tendou was playing with your hair, trying to arrange it into a set of funky looking braids and you’d caught a glimpse at both his wrists.

You reach out, grabbing both of them in surprise. Tendou blinks over the top of your head, sitting cross-legged on your bed— “(L/n)-chan, invite me over! Let’s play some video games or read manga!” and he lets you pull his arms closer, quickly inspecting his wrists.

You blink rapidly, a little stunned. You look again and again to make sure what you were seeing wasn’t wrong and Tendou hums in amusement above you, letting you finish up until you finally look back at him, hands moving to sign, quick and clear.

“Tendou, you…” you pause, unable to finish moving your fingers.

“It’s blank! You’re not crazy, don’t worry,” Tendou says, finishing it for you. He proudly shows off his bare wrists and you stare at them a second longer before looking back to his face, brows creasing in worry. “Aw, don’t make that face, (L/n)-chan, you’ll get wrinkles!”

You know it’s possible, people not getting marks. Most people are all born with them—the first words your soulmate is supposed to say to you tattooed in simple ink onto your skin, always on your wrists, right there for anyone to see.

Tendou’s wrist are bare of any mark, not a single piece of ink in sight.

“I think you know better than anyone,” Tendou teases above you. “Words aren’t everything to a relationship, right~”

You smile at Tendou, but your chest still aches a little bit. Tendou’s strange, but he’s funny. He’s funny and kind. Very, very kind, even if he likes to act like he isn’t or seem worse than he really is. He deserves someone kind too, even if the statistics for actually meeting your soulmate are low.

You show Tendou your mark, a simple black V and nothing more. He stares at it, looking bewildered for once himself while you simply shrug back at him, holding up two fingers like a peace sign but as a V instead.

Tendou suddenly bursts into laughter. You stare at him, pouting in silence while he clutches his stomach, rolling around on your bed and wheezing.

“Well, (L/n)-chan, how about this,” Tendou says once his laughter dies down. “If you don’t like them, how about I take their place, hmm?”

You pretend to think it over for a bit. Tendou nudges your head with his foot and you swat it aside, turning over to him and pinching your fingers together in an okay sign.

“You’re so boring! Have more of a reaction, why don’t you? You know how hard I’m trying here?”

You smile at Tendou, chest full.

---- ---- ----- ----

Maybe it’s not always that people do things for no reason to find a reason themselves.

Maybe these people just aren’t reasonable to begin with.

“Guys, look at how creepy this is! She’s writing all over it like she’s talking to herself—yikes!”

You stare at the three tormentors, frozen in place for a moment as you watch them flip through your notebook, fuller then it’s ever been. You watch them, second after second ticking as they laugh and point to the stacked conversations, the doodles and jokes and the pages stuffed full of proof that you and Tendou have built something, something dearly precious over the course of this year—

Two of them look at you and laugh, watching you at the entrance of the classroom. The last one holds up your notebook, her glossy lips moving, and then her perfectly manicured nails start ripping one of the pages.

It’s Tendou’s page. It’s terribly unlucky or lucky she picked that one. He’s written all over it, trying to be quiet that day.

“(L/n)-chan do ya get sick of me talking? People say I talk too much all the time.”

“No. I like it.”

“Aw, you’re just flirting!”

“No, I really, really like it.”

“Hahaha, then maybe I’ll talk enough for the two of us, hmm?”

You feel it tear all the way down to your bones.

“What a freak!”

Something snaps.

They clearly don’t see it coming when you go flying across the classroom, lunging for the monster with your notebook. Her eyes go round in disbelief and then furious anger when your hands find hers, ripping the book from her grasp as she fights you for it, shouting and cursing. Her two cronies are quick, grabbing at your hands and trying to haul you back but your mouth is parted in a soundless, furious scream, flailing your fists and hitting, pulling and tugging at them as you scream and scream and scream even though no words come out.

One girl nearly slaps you but you duck and shove your foot into her stomach, knocking her back into a desk.

You shout at them. Shout and shout and shout and shout . You imagine the words cutting them in half. Imagine how they’d feel hearing the horrible things spat right back into their face—

She looks up at you, eyes red with rage and the other two thrust your hands down, stomping on your feet to try and hold you down while she raises her hand to strike again.

“All three of you are ugly pigs! Don’t you have anything better to do with your lives? Did all your parents ever teach you to do is bully the quiet kid? That’s terrible! You’re all horrible!”

The shrill, overly high-pitched voice catches all four of you off guard, staring at each other, stunned. The three girls share quick looks, looking startled out of their minds while your shoulders heave, ragged from the panting and soundless screaming. You don’t understand—

Firm, large hands suddenly grab you by your waist, hauling you up into the air and away from the other two girls. You quickly grab your skirt from flying up and whirl around, eyes round in disbelief when Tendou’s sleazy, easy grin meets your gaze, his eyes crinkled.

Your already quiet world quiets further, soft and silent as you stare at him and he gazes back at you for a second, assessing your disheveled form before he promptly sets you down onto your feet behind him like you’re some kind of toy. Tendou even takes a second to brush some dust off your shoulder, fixing your jacket with a happy little hum before he ruffles the top of your head and grins at you.

His eyes are crinkled at the corners, narrowed into dangerous slits. You freeze.

“Don’t worry,” Tendou chirps. “I’ll speak for both of us~”

He turns around with a flourish, blocking your view of the three girls and holding his hands out. “Sorry, ladies! I know you all might want a piece of her, but as her manager, I’ve got to be her translator and I believe my client says—oh, yes, yes, I hear you loud and clear! She says you’re all a bunch of useless bimbos with too much time on their hands!”

You gape at Tendou, clasping your hands over your mouth even though no words come out. The three girls look stunned and Tendou sweeps on in his fake, shrill voice, “Your perfume smells cheap and your nails are so last season—wow! Did you get enough sleep? Your pores are huge!”

“Asshole!” a girl shouts.

“Tendou, you freak!”

“Tendou, what do you think you’re—” one girl starts but Tendou thrusts a finger out, pointing it right at her face.

“And now this one’s from me! ” Tendou says in his own voice, a little huskier than you remember, a little firmer, clearer, and he grins devilishly at the three girls. “So listen up, hmm?”

Your classmates always complain if there’s anything about Tendou, it’s that he tends to come off as a bit scary sometimes.

You’d never really thought so until now.

“Find something better to do,” Tendou says cheerfully, eyes narrowed into dagger thin slits as he brings one threatening hand up into the air. He smiles, dripping malice, “Or you’re going to regret it, okay?”

One girl swallows, looking ready to argue despite her ashen face. The other two grab her hands, furiously shaking their heads as they drag her away from the two of you, shooting you and Tendou glares. “Freaks! Both of you!”

They run anyway though when Tendou arches a dangerous brow at them, tails between their legs. You stare at the empty classroom door in disbelief, not quite able to wrap your head around the entire exchange or how all of this happened in so little time—

“Hmph, they can’t appreciate art when they see it,” Tendou complains loudly, dragging your attention back to him. He picks up your fallen notebook, flipping through the pages and idly smoothing out creases. “Girls like that are never going to get a boyfriend, don’t worry, (L/n)-chan. You’re much cuter than they are~”

Tendou.

There’s something loud pounding in your head. Maybe it’s your heart. You’re not really sure what it is in the quietness of it all as Tendou calmly turns to you, holding out your notebook.

Tendou.

Your fingers twitch. You feel your fingers moving, spelling out his name. Your mouth parts, breathing.

Tendou, thank —

He brings up one hand, winking at you in an expression that doesn’t fit his face at all while he throws up a peace sign, the same one he always does, just like when the two of you first met.

“Our victory this time~ If they try it again, I’m not afraid to block them! I’ve got a mean—”

You freeze.

Victory?

You stare at Tendou’s peace sign.

V.

Your brain short circuits for a second. Something like adrenaline starts to pump rapidly through your body and you gape in disbelief, turning your wrist around and staring at the large, bold V on your skin. Your parents always joked with you about the kind of situation you’d have to be in for the first word your soulmate ever said to you to be V , but what if it wasn’t a matter of saying it but—

Signing it?

You feel your heart almost stop. It kicks back into gear, loud like a set of drums. You quickly grab Tendou’s blank wrist, surprising him as he blinks curiously down at you. “Hmm? What’s gotten into you, (L/n)-chan—”

“Tendou!” you sign, cheeks flushing. “Tendou, this might sound crazy but—”

You grab your notebook, quickly flipping to a blank page and hurriedly writing onto it. Tendou blinks, looking playfully confused until you turn your page to him.

“I think we might be soulmates!”

Your heart threatens to burst out of your chest. Tendou stares at your page for what feels like eternity before he pushes it down with one long, bandaged finger. He grins at you over the top of your notebook, waggling his brows.

“(Y/n)-chan, are you trying to ask me out? You could’ve just said so~”

You toss your notebook to the desk, lunging at Tendou with your arms thrown wide, mouth parted in a soundless, desperate laugh and Tendou simply grins in that sneaky little way of his, looking as content as a cat as he wraps his arms around you anyway and hoists you up.

“Ara, was I found out?”

In your flurry you abruptly press your lips to Tendou's unable to contain your excitement or words, hands no longer enough. Tendou goes stiff, eyes round as saucers when you pull back and stare at him, beaming brightly and quickly signing. "You're so dumb!"

The top of Tendou's ears start to turn red. You stare at him in surprise, pressing a hand to your mouth.

"Tendou,"  you sign. "You're so honest."

"Bzzt! Wrong answer! Better kiss me again or I'll drop you."

Without hesitating you quickly duck your head in close and this time Tendou meets you have way with his cheeky grin, both your lips molding together in a kiss that floods with laughter, even though not a single sound escapes either of you.

----------

"I never said I didn't have one. My soulmate just doesn't have much to say~"

------------

Bonus:

- Tendou gives you a whistle for when you go to his games. He always waits and then when his team scores or he blocks, a furious sound of tweets and whistles goes off, making everyone look up into the stands to find you, crazy-looking and furious waving your hands and blowing the whistle. Someone has to ask you to stop before it confuses the players. - Tendou collapses onto the floor, laughing so hard he starts to cry and Ushijima tells him he should give you a bell instead. "Bells are also soothing," he says. "Or a drum."

**** please don’t ever make fun of someone’s pores! I think I’d cry ;-;