#i picture shikamaru standing behind him somewhere

[wrathsheir]

No, stop, stop, don’t move. Don’t do anything.

                Though severely annoyed with the order, Sasuke has both respect and trust for the Nara. He stills, lightning twisting around his hand and arm like a living, writhing thing. Dark eyes are narrowed on the man whom rather naively ignited Sasukes fury. 

                                         “You’ve got five seconds, Nara.” 

[kayparker20]

Let Me Love You

Alright so this is what I’ve been working on for the past week! I hope you enjoy

Summary: Shikamaru never planned to fall for Ino’s best friend, and he definitely never planned to do about it. When he insisted on training with her, he just wanted to make her happy, how does he end up asking to kiss her? He’s surprised to find her heart might have room for him afterall. Lemon.

FFN | AO3

Shikamaru laid on his back on the grass, finally enjoying a bit of relaxation after training with Asuma. He sat back and watched the clouds. Something that always brought him comfort, he always grasped what shred of laziness he could spare these days. Oftentimes now, he took this time to think, instead of blankly staring at the clouds. He reminisced about some of the past times in his life, and how he never got to do this much anymore. Sometimes he thought back on training sessions, and what his squad needed to work on, or tried to think of new formations they could make with their jutsu. Really, at least this time, he was thinking about a certain girl, once again. She was slowly invading his thoughts the last couple weeks, despite how troublesome he found most women.

He thought about all the things that have happened to his team, the Rookie 9, and to her. The Third Hokage was assassinated by his own student. Sasuke took off after the chunin exams to pursue Orochimaru. He even left her unconscious on a bench. Naruto was off training with Jiraiya, with the promise to bring back the person she loved. Kakashi had continually taken long term missions, and seemingly abandoned her to deal with the pain alone. She seemed almost in a limbo, even while she was under the instruction of the Godaime.

He thought more and more about the way things have turned out for his classmates. He could never imagine trying to kill Asuma. Or to leave Ino crying for him, let alone on a bench in the middle of the night. Even if he was well aware the bothersome blonde had no romantic feelings for him, he still couldn’t picture breaking someone like Sasuke had done to Sakura Haruno. How he created so much self-doubt in Naruto. He felt bitter towards the ninja who didn’t even witness the pain he inflicted upon people that Shikamaru was now close to. He could never understand how Sasuke thought power and revenge was more important than his own team.

More important than Sakura. When he had left, there was something in her that broke. He knew it had been her heart, you could see it in the way her smiles hardly reached her eyes anymore. In the way she carried herself now, she seemed to try and keep her emotions more hidden, except for when she was angry or truly hurt. He never realized how much he loved her smile, until she stopped smiling. 

Somewhere along the way, Ino had managed to get them to hang out one time. She made an off hand comment about Sakura needing to spend more time with smart people, and joked that he should teach her how to play shogi. When Sakura smiled even as she chastised her friend for getting in her business, he couldn’t resist the idea. Besides, it wouldn’t hurt to have another person to play shogi with, being as his Dad was ever busy, and Asuma couldn’t play as often now. Jounin ninja ever since the attack almost always had a directive from the Fifth if they weren’t training an up-coming squad of ninja.

He sighed softly before resting his eyes and clearing his head. He could never quite truly clear it of the colours of rosy pink hair and teal coloured eyes. How it felt the past few weeks to just be in her presence. How smart she was, as he soon found out when they played a game of shoji. He knew she had been top of her class, but there’s a difference in memorizing information, and being able to think out the moves to make in any situation.  They had fallen into a routine of playing a game or two weekly, and it seemed he only fell even further for her as he spent more time with her.

Memories of her flitted through his mind, like the way she chewed her bottom lip when she thought about her next move. Or how she felt in his arms when she would tackle him after he let her win, complaining that it wasn’t a real win if he allowed it. How the smell of her jasmine perfume invaded his senses when she had been so close to him. The musical sound of her laughter. The small smiles that had formed on her face, genuine even if they didn’t reach her eyes. 

He sighed and shook his head once again. What a drag, he was supposed to be relaxing and yet he couldn’t relax when he thought about her. 

Of course, leave it to him to end up in the troublesome situation of falling for the girl who already had her sights set on someone else. He wouldn’t be so arrogant to think he could sway her feelings, it seemed childish almost to try and change it. No matter how much he knew Sasuke didn’t deserve even an ounce of the friendship or love that Naruto and Sakura held for him so strongly.

 He stood up from his spot and sighed before he heard shuffling. He turned his head towards the noise before finding the very being of his thoughts, standing there with her leather gloves on, clearly coming to train. She had this look of determination on her face, but there was a twinge of disappointment in her eyes. 

“Oh, hey Shikamaru!” She smiled softly. “It’s okay, I’ll find another training ground! I wouldn’t want to intrude on your cloud watching.” She turned to leave.

She had only just got here, he didn’t want her to leave yet.

He inwardly scrambled for something to say to stop her too-soon departure.“Sakura, do you have a training partner?” He jogged towards her. “You usually have Tsunade with you don’t you?” He inquired.

He realized how lame that might have sounded, or maybe even rubbing salt into the wound of her disappointment since Tsunade was clearly absent today.

Was there even a way to have a strategy for love, and trying to gain it? 

Sakura laughed nervously. “She’s got a lot of hokage business today. And, you know Naruto is gone and Kakashi-sensei is on yet another mission…” There was a tinge of sadness in her voice as she explained herself even further.

He knew no ninja cared for pity, and he didn’t want to come off that way. But he also knows training by yourself only gets you so far. And that she hated to be alone. He tried for a casual smile towards her before shrugging his shoulders. He really did try to be there for his friends, and the sadness in her voice made it clear she wasn’t thrilled about the situation. “Well, I’ll train with you today. I’m not busy or anything.”

Sakura's eyes widened. “Oh, no you don’t have to, Shikamaru!” She looked off to the side a bit. “I know you were cloud watching, really, I don’t want to interrupt.”

“Nah, I was just finished. Come on, you only gain so much from training alone. What were you going to work on today?”

Sakura couldn’t help the shy smile that graced her lips then. She looked up at Shikamaru, meeting his chocolate eyes this time. “I was going to work on taijutsu. Tsunade is teaching me how to channel chakra into my attacks to make them stronger. I also need to learn to dodge better…” 

Ino had gone to Sakura’s after training to find she was gone. She imagined she may have been training with Tsunade, so she picked up some food and headed back to the training grounds. She was surprised to find Sakura alone, without Tsunade approaching the training ground she had left only 20 minutes ago. And then she smiled as she realized Shikamaru was still there, and was probably cloud watching.

Shika hadn’t said anything but she had noticed how he seemed to glance at Sakura just a little longer these days whenever they ran into her friend as a team. Or how sometimes he seemed concerned about her being left behind by her team, asking why nothing was done about it. Asuma gave a knowing smile when he mentioned it, and told him that he could do something about it if he felt so concerned about it.

This really turned into Ino doing something about it because Shikamaru just huffed at his response, and only Ino noticed the slightest tinge of pink in his face he had that day. Ino started inviting Sakura to train with them occasionally then, before one day insisting they start to hang out. Really, she just wanted to see both of them happy.

She got a little closer so she could hear when they spoke. When Shikamaru suggested he train with her, Ino beamed. There’s no one else she would ever trust to be so kind to Sakura, it was why she had set them up a few weeks back. She was surprised he went out of his way to do it, considering he wasn’t usually one to volunteer himself. All the more proof showing he had some sort of affection for her. She ran off to tell Choji, giggling with delight all the while to find him.

Sakura and Shikamaru had been sparring for about half an hour at this point, just exchanging blows. It wasn’t without the occasional snide comments to each other, as Sakura loved to chat.

Sakura smirked softly before landing a kick to his side. “You know, it’s not really training when you go easy on me, Shikamaru.”

He raised an eyebrow at her before shaking his head. “You’re just as troublesome as Ino. Why do you think I’m going easy on you?” But he smiled even just slightly as he said it. “I’m not, but I’m not trying to actually hurt you either, woman.”

He grabbed hold of her leg when she went to kick him again and pushed it to the side in an attempt to make her lose balance.

“I’m not fragile. Tsunade hits me with chakra punches, I think I can handle your normal ones.” She chided as she caught herself from falling. She lunged at him, going for his side when he grabbed her wrist and twisted, bringing her arm behind her.

She felt how firm his chest was against her arm and back but tried to shake away those invasive little thoughts that crossed her mind.

“Taijutsu isn’t my strong suit, I’m more of a ranged shinobi, as I’m sure you should know already.”

She tensed slightly as she felt his breath brush across her neck as he spoke. She nodded. “Ah, yes that’s right.” She smirked and hooked her foot behind his ankle and pulled, sending him to the ground as she turned and crossed her arms. “Perhaps this is good training for both of us then.”

He landed flat on his back, surprised by her move. He looked up at her and was caught for a moment at the sight of her. She stood, staring down at him with a happy glint in her turquoise eyes he hadn’t seen for at least two years. Her hair reached a little past her shoulders now as it blew around in the slight breeze. Her hips were cocked to one side as she gazed at him with amusement even though her arms were crossed. She had a thin sheen of sweat that glistened across her skin, and it did nothing but add to his attraction. It had caught him off guard, but she looked beautiful in that moment, especially with the clouds behind her as a backdrop.

She watched as Shikamaru seemed to gaze at her for a little bit longer before she felt heat rushing to her face. “H-Hey, what are you looking at?” She snapped.

“You have a pretty smile…” He said without really thinking.

Oh man, this is about to be a drag. 

He quickly stood up as his own face became dusted with a light shade of pink. He rubbed the back of his head. “I mean…” He trailed off, not quite sure how to dig himself out of this one.

Sakura only became more flustered. “I...oh?” She bit the inside of her cheek nervously, not sure what to say. “Thank you…” She gave a shy smile.

He returned with his own sheepish smile. “I… uh. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I know that you…” He didn’t know if bringing up Sasuke was a good idea he realized as he trailed off.

Sakura took a step closer and set a reassuring hand on his chest. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable at all, Shika. Thank you…” She looked up at him and she was smiling so brightly, it reached her eyes which were so warm now. “It means a lot to me, actually.”

He watched her for a moment, before wishing he knew how to handle this situation a little better. Really, everyone knew her heart was out to Sasuke, so was there really a point in trying? But her hand was on his chest and she was smiling at him so tenderly, so what did that mean for him?

Since when did he feel strongly enough to want to try?

It had to be her smile, and how he had been the one to make her that happy. He brought a hand up to cup one side of her face as he made eye contact with her. “Sakura, you do know you look beautiful, right?” He said softly.

Her lack of confidence in herself made no sense to him, but he had to try. She was a stunning kunoichi all around in his eyes.

She blushed even deeper now before staring into his dark brown eyes. She wasn’t used to someone being so close. And it was a bit of a shock coming from Shikamaru. 

But now some of Ino’s odd behaviour started making sense, like how every time she went out with Team 10, she somehow ended up sitting next to Shikamaru instead of Ino, and the couple times she trained with them, she ended up paired with him. Or when she tried to ask her about dating that one time. 

She gazed into his eyes, seeing how warm and inviting they were as he looked at her so tenderly. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she compared it to the coldness that she always found in Sasuke’s gaze, but it seemed so distant now. It made her nervous all the same.

“I...uh.” she stuttered nervously.

She would have been lying if she tried to act like Shikamaru wasn’t attractive. She was flustered at the sudden attention he seemed to be paying attention to her, or was it so sudden? Had he looked at her like that before and she just didn’t notice? It made her feel giddy and nervous to be the object of his piercing gaze. It felt like he could see right through her. She could never tell what he was thinking, but he was clear enough in voicing he liked what he saw. She chewed on the inside of her cheek, not sure what to say, thinking his hands felt nice even if they were a little calloused. 

She began thinking of how he has always made her feel like she mattered the last few weeks, how this lazy genius she calls her friend always made time for her. How gentle he seemed to be holding her at this exact moment, and the awe in his gaze when he was on the ground moments ago when he looked up at her.

She gently gripped his shirt with the hand that still rested on his chest as she felt him lean closer, anticipating what she thought, and ever dared hope what was coming next. 

He took a step closer and leaned in towards her slightly. “Can I kiss you?” He spoke the question so softly as he slowly moved his hand to thread into her hair.  He didn’t want to make her feel pressured. “You don’t have to say ye-” 

And he felt soft lips just barely brush his own. His eyes slid closed as he brought his other hand to her hip, and deepened the kiss just a bit. Her hands moved to wrap around his neck. It was timid and shy, clearly the first for her(not to his surprise), but it was so sweet and gentle.

His face felt like it was on fire as he pulled back a bit. He gazed at her, surprise clear in his chocolate shaded eyes, but also something akin to delight.

She stared back up at Shikamaru, her lips still just barely parted. She could feel his chest against her own, how surprisingly toned he was compared to how lithe he looked. She could smell the layer of sweat that shined off his skin in the sun from their sparring moments ago. She took comfort in how firm yet gentle his grip on her was. It felt nice to be close to someone, she thought to herself, as she smiled up at him.

“Sakura… ” He pulled his hand back from her pink tresses to rest on her cheek. “I don’t mean to be a drag, but I… ” He stumbled for words, how do you even begin this conversation? Is the kiss enough, does he have to voice it?

“I liked it…” She spoke softly, before looking over him once more. “How...long?” Her eyes were full of curiosity, and happiness.

“Awhile…” He sighed. “I’ve always been concerned about you since everything happened, and especially since Naruto left. You were always…” He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to insult her, especially because he was well aware she had a killer punch once she was angry. “Alone.”

“I always found myself wanting to comfort you, to be there for you.” He laughed nervously. “Emotions are such a drag, you know? I don’t know how to explain them very well…”

She bit her lip softly. “Shika…” She placed both her hands against the sides of his face. 

“And I mean, who am I compared to Sasuke?” He gave a half smile as he stroked her cheekbone with his thumb. “Competitions are immature, especially ones you know you can’t win…” 

A flash of guilt went through her aquamarine hues and she looked away. 

She knew not everyone cared as deeply for Sasuke as her and Naruto, that most people saw him as a traitor now. Most people didn’t understand. But Shikamaru always understood, even if he didn’t agree with it.

It wasn’t a secret to her and Naruto. She knew that even though the rest of the Rookie 9 respected them enough to keep their opinions to themselves, and even help try to bring him back, that most of them were bitter towards the Uchiha. Who could blame them, when they were the ones that had to witness the pain her and Naruto felt all the time. No one could like someone who hurt people they cared about.

Shikamaru frowned, instantly regretting his words. He gently turned her face back towards him. “Sakura, that’s not how I meant that…” He sighed even deeper. “I just… I know you love him, so why would I tell you how I feel, it wouldn’t change that, and it wouldn’t change us, now would it?”

She stared at Shikamaru in wonder. He was so full understanding, not a hint of the judgement she was used to when in regards to Sasuke. He always was, but at this moment, she had begun fearing he would get angry and turn away. He hadn’t, he had only held on more, giving her more honesty and it made her heart swell more with the little bit of feelings she had started developing for him recently.

Shikamaru was here, and Sasuke wasn’t. He made her feel wanted, and the time she had spent with him lately were becoming some of the happier moments she had now. She wondered that as time went, if she would ever even pine for the vengeful raven anymore, as she slowly fell for the genius.

Shikamaru was looking at her so tenderly, but there was a hint of sadness in those eyes that suddenly reminded her of coffee in the late mornings they shared a couple of times over games of shoji.

“What if I said it could…?” She whispered to more herself than him. But he was a shinobi just like she was, and he had definitely heard it.

“Sakura..?”

“You…” She struggled to find words that didn’t sound awkward or cheesy. “I… don’t feel so alone when I’m with you. I feel happy.” 

Shikamaru stared at her for another moment before kissing her again.

Sakura gasped softly into the kiss before returning it eagerly. She rested her hands on the sides of his neck as various things fled through her little pink head. They were fast and fleeting but somehow still focused as she moved her mouth against his, not exactly smoothly as it was now her only second kiss.

Shikamaru, the one who said women are such a drag, was kissing her. He had done everything but outright confess to her.

She felt her heart beating out of her chest as butterflies seemed to fill her stomach.

His body felt hard against hers, or maybe he was just tense.

She wanted this, wanted him. 

She liked the way he embraced her, tight enough to express he didn’t want her to go, but gentle enough that she could have pulled away if she had wanted to.

Shikamaru was here and cared about her and her day and her feelings and even her damn training.

Her face burned with a hot blush.

And the most apparent thought, she liked every bit of it.

She hummed as Shikamaru seemed to grow a little more confident as he swiped his tongue along her bottom lip. She timidly parted her lips for him, moving one of her hands to his hair, almost daring to tug the strands out of its hold, curious about what it looked like when it was down. He pulled her closer, her body pressed right up against his, as he swirled his tongue around her own. His grip on her hips tightened before he raised one hand to gently tilt her head and thread his fingers into her hair, giving him better access.

She pulled away with a soft gasp, needing air to breathe from. “Shika…” She panted softly before looking up at him. She caught his eyes and was surprised by the intensity that she found in them. She bit her lip nervously as she tried to maintain his gaze.

She wondered what was going through his head that moment. He was never one she could read well. She was pretty sure that was why he always beat her in shoji, when he wasn’t letting her win. Or maybe it was because she would be trying to focus on not watching the way his eyes scanned the board. Sometimes her mind wandered even further, wondering what his hands felt like when she watched him move pieces.

She could confirm now that they had a firm grip, and were a little calloused and felt rough against the smooth skin of her neck or her cheek. It was a near perfect contrast, even though she knew her hands were just as callous as his from leading the life of a ninja.

“Do...you want to come to my place?” She asked him softly.

His eyes widened a bit at the request. 

He wanted to, but he was feeling a need he couldn’t dare expect her to satiate. He didn’t think that a kiss would draw him so far into his own desires. He just wanted to show her he cared, to express something he couldn’t quite get out in words. Just one kiss sparked his need within to be with her that went farther than just her company or his want to comfort her. 

“Sakura, I…” He felt his face flush again. “I don’t know if that's the best idea…” He disentangled himself from her slowly and took a step back. “I think I need to go uhm… Cool off.” He rubbed the back of his back, feeling rather embarrassed.

“Oh, uh…” She wasn’t stupid, she was more than well aware what he meant. She felt hot all over from that second kiss even as tender as it still was. She nodded slightly in understanding. “If you change your mind…” She couldn’t help the tinge of hope that laced her voice.

He looked at her a moment before leaning back down and placing a kiss over her forehead. “I’ll see you, Sakura…” He really wasn’t sure what else he could possibly say to her that wasn’t awkward or weird. 

He backed off almost reluctantly, wishing he could accept her offer to come to her home. He turned and walked away, but not before giving her a sheepish grin. He started walking towards home, even though he really wanted to turn around and go home with her.

But he feared she was just caught in the moment, and he didn’t want her to regret something, or for it to ruin their friendship. All these contradicting thoughts he had were troublesome and he was beginning to wonder how he let himself fall for her in the first place.

Then he remembered all the things she said, and how happy she had looked as she gazed up at him. That she had liked when he kissed her. Or how she didn’t feel so alone when she was with him.

He took a deep breath as he turned to look behind him even as he swore at himself that it was going to be the mistake that did him in. As his gaze fell back on her form, she had walked the opposite direction towards her apartment. He could see the slight slump in her shoulders, the disappointment in being turned down, even after he made the first move. Her head hung low and it caused a stabbing pain to throb in his chest.

He stopped as the realization dawned on him that he had just hurt her. He had hurt her, right after she had just told him that he made her feel happy. He didn’t want to be the reason she was hurting, he wanted to be the person that made her smile, just as brightly as she was just moments before he stepped away from her.

It couldn’t be the right thing to do if it made her look so upset. He couldn’t bear to be the one causing her to doubt herself, to feel like she did something wrong, or like she wasn’t enough. He couldn’t let her believe she was anything less than wonderful. The ink-haired man sighed as he took the next turn swiftly, heading towards her place. He picked up his pace, easily maneuvering around anyone else on the same path. 

He got there first. It didn’t surprise him considering the brisk pace he had developed and the slow one she had had. He waited silently on her porch, leaning against the door frame, watching in the direction he knew she would come from. 

He had been so focused on watching for Sakura that he was startled at the sound of Ino's higher pitched tone.

“So just what exactly are you doing here, hm?” She teased.

He huffed at her. “I… kissed Sakura.”

Ino blue orbs widened in surprise before she started fretting over him. “Shika, you did what!” She exclaimed excitedly.

“Don’t get so loud!” He hissed before his shoulders slumped. “Besides, I already fucked it up…” He sighed.

“Clearly you didn’t do something too terrible if you’re sitting on her doorstep.” She raised an eyebrow and clicked her tongue.

“I kissed her, and then she asked me to come over, and I just…” His cheeks tinted red again, before he glanced to see if he could see her down the road yet. “I didn’t want her to regret it…”

Ino’s gaze softened towards. “You mean, you didn’t want her to regret you.” She stepped right in front of Shikamaru, demanding his eye contact. “Look at me, she wouldn’t invite you over unless she had already decided it was what she wanted.” She set her hands on her hips. “And now you’ve probably gone and made her think she missed something or misread the situation.”

“But she didn’t! I just…” He sighed, frustrated with how he didn’t know how to say what he felt. “I didn’t want to hurt her, or hell I didn’t want to be hurt either.” 

Ino rolled her eyes but kept her tone light. “So, then why are you here?”

Why did this friend of his always have to have her nose in other people’s business? He huffed, before reminding himself that if she hadn’t been in Sakura’s business he might have never got to spend so much time with her in the first place. 

“I looked back after walking away and she just looked…” He felt so ashamed to have hurt her, even when his intentions had been the opposite. “She looked so hurt, and she had been smiling moments before I ruined it. And I can’t bear to be the reason she feels so sad, and I’d be lying if I sat here and tried to act like I didn’t want to come, I just tried to do the right thing…”

Ino caught sight of pink down the road out of the corner of her eye. She smiled. “As long as you’re doing what makes her happy, you’re doing the right thing, Shikamaru…” She gave him a pat on the shoulder before making the hand signs to a transportation jutsu and disappearing. 

Ino words lingered in the air for a moment as he thought about them, about how he had just had a similar thought.

He glanced back towards the street and saw her coming. He stood back away from the door frame and watched as she seemed to dread coming home, coming back to being alone. Another pain stabbed in his chest as he saw the actual expression on her face. He had started to come down the steps right as she looked up and saw him on her doorstep. He shot a smile in her direction as she picked up the pace, her own face lighting back up. 

She had run straight into his arms, right into his embrace on her steps.

“Shika-” She was cut off as he melded his lips to hers again and she closed her eyes, melting into the kiss just before he pulled away too soon.

“I’m sorry…” He said softly. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings…” He cups her face in his hands. “I only said no because I don’t want you to make a mistake and regret… This.” 

She stared at him before turning to unlock her door and step inside, and jerked him into her house with one arm. She slammed the door before shoving him against it. “You let me decide whether or not I want something…” She huffed out in slight annoyance. “And damnit, I’ve been wanting you…”

He gasped at her sudden ambition but smirked a bit before hooking his palms on the back of her thighs and hoisting her effortlessly from the ground and holding her against him. He hummed appreciatively as she instantly wrapped her legs around his waist. “Then you have me.” 

One of her hands went for the band that held his hair up and slowly pulled it from his locks, tossing it aside. It fell just barely to his shoulders in layers, framing his face. It had only made him look even more handsome, and sexy as that smirk still played across his lips.

She ran her fingers through his hair, loving how thick and soft it felt as the strands slid through her fingers. She looked into his eyes, which always reminded her of something deep and dark, whether it was chocolate or coffee, or at the moment it was the tall woods of their home, safe and secure. There was emotion there that she couldn’t place there. She bit her lip in anticipation. There was some warmth developing in her chest as she looked at him and it only encouraged the nerves firing all over her skin.

He tilted his back into her touch, his breath hitching as her fingers threaded through his hair. He’d never let a girl take his hair down, not even when he was heavily drunk. It felt soothing to feel her fingers against his scalp as she incessantly stroked his hair.

“You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to do that…” She breathed out as she finally stopped and let her arms rest and loosely wrap around his shoulders.

He licked his lips before moving to kiss her neck softly. “I think your eagerness gave that part away, Sakura…” He mumbled against her neck as he lavished her soft skin with kisses. He heard her breath catch in her throat.

“Shika…” Her legs tightened around his hips as she breathed out another sigh. “You’re going to be…”

“I know…” He whispered before moving back up her neck to peck at her jawline and catch her lips with his once more. He tried to pour every bit of affection he had for her into that kiss as he started walking towards where he knew her bedroom was.

She let out a needy whimper as his lips met hers again and she slanted hers against them. She needed something more, she wanted to feel his hands on her. She wanted to feel needed by him, like she felt the need for him. It almost felt wrong, feeling this lust for the first time.

She gasped when she felt her back fall onto the bed, with him hovering over her from the edge of the mattress, easily settling between her thighs. He looked down at her before he placed a hand over her the side of her face, his thumb stroking her cheekbone. He stared at her lovingly and it was then she suddenly felt the guilt build up in her chest.

She knew she felt something for him, and that it was more than this lust, but she couldn’t call it love. As he stared at her with such a heartfelt expression her heart squeezed and it all felt wrong now. She couldn’t bear the thought of hurting him.

“W-Wait..” She stammered, her words catching in her throat.

He hummed in response before leaning down and placing a kiss on her cheek, trailing down her jawline and nipping lightly at her smooth skin. “You can talk while I kiss you…” He mumbled between kisses, his breath flowing over her skin and making her shiver.

Her back arched and she shut her eyes tight. “I-I can’t do this, not…” She moaned out softly as he bit down on the junction of her neck and shoulder and began to suck softly on her skin there.

 “N-Not after you looked at me like that.” She breathed.

 “I-It’s wrong…” She whimpered as he pressed her more firmly onto her bed. 

“I-I don’t feel the same… Not as…” She gasped as she slowly pulled away from her neck and licked the slight red mark he left. “Not as intensely…” 

Shikamaru sat back up, resting his weight on his forearms on either side of her head. He knew that already. But he could see in her eyes as she looked at him, past the guilt, that she did care about him. And if there were any feelings in her heart for him, he wasn’t letting her go now. He never intended to let her go ever, just loving her silently for his life.

“Sakura, I never expected you to feel as strongly as I do now.” He smiled down at her. “Not yet…” He caressed her cheek.

Her heart squeezed once again at his compassion towards. “But this isn’t fair to you…” She started to drag herself away from his body, trying to slip through the gap left by his arms. “I don’t want to hurt you…”

He caught on and quickly pinned his hips against hers before entangling his hand in her hair and kissing her with everything he had. He knew she didn’t want to pull away, that she was just trying to spare his heart, but he needed her to see that he understood, that he accepted it. He was patient, and he would take whatever she would give him. He brought his other hand to grip her hip gently.

She gasped into the kiss before kissing him back, struggling to fight her desire as her morals battled it in her head. She wanted nothing but to be enveloped in his warmth and his touch and his mouth, wherever he decided to wonder with it. 

He pulled back and locked his coffee coloured eyes with her aqua ones. “Sakura, please, just let me love you.” He pleaded. “I know you want this too, even if you don’t feel it as deep as I do…” 

She swallowed before cupping his face in her hands, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. “You don’t deserve this, Shika…” She stared into his eyes, enthralled by all the love and affection and care and compassion found in them as his eyes pierced through her again. “You deserve someone that would be devoted to you…entirely.” She smiled softly as the tears slipped down her cheeks.

He quickly wiped her eyes before kissing both her cheeks. “Sakura, if Sasuke walked back through the village gates, right now, where would you be after you found out?”

Her eyes widened at his question. He always caught her off guard with his bluntness he had for most topics. She looked at him, asking herself that question over and over again.

All she could think about was how she was right where she wanted to be. She was in the arms of someone who made her feel important, like she mattered. She stared at Shikamaru, his hair flowing down to his shoulders, slightly wavy from being held up all the time. She bit her lip, as she thought about the way his kiss made her heart leap in her chest, how the way he held her made her feel so safe. 

She thought about how everything about Sasuke was apathetic and uninviting. How he thought she was annoying, treated her like she was less than him. She thought about how distant he always was, and how he put power and revenge over everything else, even when their team had started to become like family.

She thought about how warm Shikamaru was, and how he always welcomed her in his presence, how right now he was pleading to be at her side, in her bed. How he trained with her as an equal, even when he pulled his punches in fear of hurting her. How he had always been there, and how he accepted her as she was. 

She stroked her thumbs across his cheeks as she beamed a smile before leaning up and kissing him, and slowly winding her fingers into his hair again, and blushed as he groaned at her touch. She pulled away before looking into eyes, warm and inviting as always, but nervous too.

“I’d be right here. I’d be with you. Naruto could come bursting through that door right now telling me Sasuke was back, and it would still hurt, but I would stay right here, in your arms.” 

His eyes widened, not expecting her to say she would choose him, knowing he had risked his heart being broken, thinking he had been stupid to ask such a question when he was trying to convince her to not push him away.

He couldn’t take it anymore as his smile stretched across his face. “Then that’s more than enough for me.” His voice was heavy with the emotions he felt constricting his heart.

She would choose him.

He crashed his lips down on hers, passion flaming fiercely as he slid his hand back into her hair, and the one gripping her hip slid under her to press their bodies close together. He felt her hands slip under his shoulders and press into his back. He nipped her bottom lip and when she gasped with a moan, he slid his tongue into her mouth and tangled it with hers. She whined with need into his demanding kiss, and he felt the surge of pleasure go straight to his center as he felt his groin tighten.

“Shikamaru, please…” She moaned into the kiss.

She shook his head as he dragged his mouth away from the kiss just to pepper more along her jawline and down her neck. “I will not rush this for you, I’m going to do this right.” 

Her eyes gleamed with curiosity and she arched her back into his touch. “Right…?”

The genius hummed against her skin softly before chuckling. “You are not, nor will you ever be just a quick fuck, Sakura.” His voice sounded deep and husky now, filled with need and it ignited her arousal as a deep blush flushed her skin and down her neck.

He inched his fingertips under the red fabric of her shirt, silently making the request to run his hands across her body. She nodded and pushed herself into his touch. He bit his lip and gripped the fabric and pulled it gently over her body, leaning down to kiss the skin of her abdomen as more and more was exposed.. Her breath hitched once more and she instinctively rolled her hips against his, grinding against his own arousal. She let out a loud moan and bit her lip.

“S-Shit, I’m so-”

As soon as her shirt was on the floor his hands landed on her hips and pinned them in place to the bed. His eyes were glazed over and dark as he bit his lip before he moved his hips against hers, rubbing their clothes sexes against each other deliberately. He groaned as her back arched and she moaned his name softly.

He slid his hands up her sides, hooking his fingers on her chest binds, looking for the piece that was tucked. Finding it quickly, he unwrapped them, still grinding his hips into hers as he unravelled the binds until she was exposed, her full breasts heaving with her heavy breathing. He cupped each mound in his hands and squeezed them softly, hardening even more at the moans that fell from her lips as she arched into his touch.

“Sh-Shika… Oh god.” She moaned out needily as her nipples quickly hardened at the attention she received. 

“Sakura…” He breathed before leaning down and expertly circling the tip of his tongue around a hardened nipple while he still continued his touches on her other breast. 

Her moans were like music to his ears. He knew she was a virgin but he didn’t expect his touch to have this much of an effect on her. He didn’t expect her to be so open to him. She blushed and whimpered and moaned but not once did she try to hide herself from him. The amount of trust she had in him made his heart swell. She looked so beautiful as she panted from his touches. 

“You’re beautiful…” He whispered against her skin. 

She looked up at him before she slid her hands under his flak jacket, her fingertips gliding across his mesh top, reveling in how toned his body felt, but wanting to feel his bare skin against her own. 

She huffed. “This needs to come off…” She sat up quickly, did away with the green vest they all owned, and pulled at the fabric, dragging it up his torso until it went over his head. 

He gazed at her as she eased the mesh material off his body. He loved the way she seemed captivated in this moment, so focused on him. Her hands pressed firm across his skin and she slid them down to his hips before she hooked her fingers on the waistband there.

He brought a hand up to her cheek once again, kissing her soft and slow, pushing her more fully onto the bed when she had finished unbuttoning his pants, he kicked them. She shed her skirt and her shorts. She could feel how wet she was everytime she moved her legs and she whined with need.

As he climbed onto the bed, still keeping settled between her legs, his knees sunk into the mattress. He sat up and just roved over her curves, her body nearly fully exposed besides the simple but sexy red panties she wore. He noticed the wet spot near her core and he smirked, stroking his hand up and down her thigh teasingly. He placed his thumb directly over her clothed clit and began rubbing slow and deliberate circles. He used his free hand to pin her hips to the bed, putting some of his weight onto her as she writhed beneath his touch.

“Shikamaru…” She drawled out in a low, heated voice. Her back arched up off the bed once more as her mouth hung open, breathy moans falling from her soft lips every time he rolled his thumb over her clit.

He licked his lips at the sight of seeing her so aroused. “You’re so wet and worked up and I’ve barely touched you…” He mumbled, his voice still deep and husky.

He began rubbing her faster, adding a little more pressure. He watched as her body began growing tense and smirked as her legs trembled around his hips. “Sakura, you look so sexy right now, baby…”

She bit her lip and a blush stained her cheeks once more as she couldn’t help but to buck her hips against his hand. She never even thought something could feel so pleasurable. She couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone else. She could feel that her panties were thoroughly soaked with her own juices and it was slightly embarrassing. Did he think she was easy, or was he just that good with his mouth and his hands? She whimpered when she felt his hand stop completely and just press firmly against her sensitive areas, and she couldn’t help but to grind herself into the palm of his hand, looking for any sort of friction.

He hooked the waistband of those pecky little panties before twirling them around his finger. He’d decided he could buy her new ones if him ripping them off pissed her off enough. With one swift pull, the fabric easily ripped. He tossed the scraps of her last bit of clothing off to the side as she gasped, but her eyes watched him intently, scaling down his body. They left a blazing heat building behind her touch. He watched her, as she hooked her slender fingers around his boxers and tugged them down his thighs to fall to his knees. He quickly kicked them off.

And then he sunk down onto the mattress, into her embrace and warmth. Her whole body was hot to the touch, feeling their bare skin against each other. He breathed a long sigh before catching her lips in another heated kiss, pouring his love into her. Her hands went into his hair and she tugged at the long strands, keeping them out of his face. 

He slowly slid his length along her entrance and against her clit, and she shook with the pleasure as she rocked her hips into his. 

“Oh, Shika…” She called out between kisses. “That’s so…” He nipped her bottom lip before sucking on it and slowly grinding his hips against hers, slicking himself with her arousal.

“Fuck, you’re dripping…” He groaned before he trailed wet kisses down her neck. 

“Shikamaru, please. This teasing is too much…” She whined.

He hummed in agreement before sliding his hands up her arms, pinning them to the bed, intertwining their fingers together. “If you need me to stop at any time…” 

She nodded, squeezing his hands. “I know…”

He aligned himself with her entrance, pressing the tip of his length into her slightly before kissing her again, delving his tongue between her lips and swirling around her own. He loved how she moaned at everything he did, how her body pressed up into his, no matter what he did. He began sucking on her tongue and she writhed between him and her sheets, messing them up even worse. Just as her moans began to become high pitched, knowing she’d want the worse done and over with, he pushed into her in one long and quick thrust, sheathing himself to the hilt.

He let out a strangled groan at how tight she was, how much she gripped him as he sank into her heat. “Sakura, fucking hell…” He growled against her lips as his body went taut with tension. He kept still, feeling her pussy pulsating around his length. She had whimpered at first and cried out in surprise but he didn’t see any signs of pain, which was a good sign but left him confused.

She moved her hips up into his and let out a broken moan, which he thought sounded a lot like ‘Shika’. “Hymens break often when you’re physically active,” She said, an annoyed and impatient tone falling from her lips. “Nothing hurts, so don’t you dare hold back.” She snapped as she writhed once more and cried out in pleasure, dissolving whatever demanding aura she tried to have.

He smirked. “My apologies.” And then he rolled over onto his back, pulling her on top of him. He held her hips tight, and lifted her up as he pulled out until just the very tip of his erection was left inside her, before thrusting upwards as he pulled her back down on him.

He threw his head back against her pillows, his raven layers sprawling across the cushions, the smells of her arousal and just her surrounding him as he pressed into her heat, overwhelmed in the sensations. He felt her hands settle firmly on his chest as she moaned out his name.

He gazed up at her, finding the way her hair hung around her face, and stuck to her neck with sweat, absolutely stunning. He watched as her breasts bounced with every movement, licking his lips as he watched them, watched her as she didn’t hold back any of the passion he gave her. He slid his hands up her sides before cupping the mounds once again, tweaking her nipples in sync with each undulation of their hips.

“Ride me, Sakura…” He growled out. 

She panted as he felt her distribute more of her weight into her arms, using his chest to support herself before she experimentally rocked her hips back and forth. The friction made him sigh, the pleasure of her taking control running through his body like an electric current. He jerked his hips up into her, moaning out her name low and heated.

She felt herself slicken even more against his member as her name slipped so freely from his lips, sounding so pleasured. She bit her lip before raising her hips and then pressing back down. She gasped as searing hot pleasure raced through her veins, and repeated the motion. She did it again and again, the urgency in her movements building as she started to get closer to the sweet bliss she knew was her first orgasm given to her by someone else. She chased it, bouncing in his lap desperately.

“Fuck, Sakura. You’re going to be the death of me…” He groaned and gripped her hips hard and guided her down onto him roughly. He felt her nails digging into his skin, her death gripping his shoulders. Moan after moan fell from her mouth, whimpers of his name filling the air, urging him on.

He rolled her over onto her back, kissing her hard and needy. Her hands pressed flat against his back, before her fingers curled and he felt her fingers digging into the skin of his shoulder blades. She pressed her body into him, her back arching as she cried out into his mouth, her legs shaking around his hips and her body shuddering. He felt her tighten around his throbbing cock as she lost herself in bliss. He kissed her neck and whispered against her skin. 

“You’re so gorgeous, Sakura…” He breathed against her ear as he kept pounding into her through her first orgasm he’d given her. 

He felt his back muscles tighten and he sunk deep into her warmth, nearing his own bliss. He peppered kisses across whatever skin he could reach, hugging her close and tight to his chest. He grabbed the back of her knee and raised her leg, finding a better angle.

“Sakura, I love you so much, fuck…” He moaned as he finally found his own release. He pumped into her slow and hard as he came, his seed coming out in multiple spurts as he shuddered. 

He collapsed on top of her body, both of them gasping for breath. He felt her gaze on him, but he couldn’t find the energy to turn his head. He gripped her hands tighter as he buried his face into her neck, breathing in her jasmine perfume.

“That was…” She panted as a smile spread across her lips. “Incredible…” 

He beamed before rolling himself off of her with effort. “You were amazing…” He sighed contentedly before pulling her into his arms. His eyes felt heavy as she cuddled up to his side, pulling up the blankets to cover them. She kissed his shoulder before sighing blissfully.

He looked down at her before kissing her forehead and gently sitting up. “I should probably go…” He didn’t expect to start instantly acting like a couple, staying in her bed. “I don’t want to-” 

She shoved him back down on the bed, restoring his shoulder as her pillow. “I want you to stay…” She snipped at him. 

He stared down at her, before a small smile graced his lips. “Okay, Sakura…” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and held her tight to him. 

She looked up at him and pecked his lips. “Thank you, Shikamaru…” 

He nodded, kissing her forehead. “I’ll always be here for you, however you need me, Sakura…”

They fell asleep, tangled in each other’s arms. 

A couple hours later, Ino came to check on Sakura. She knew her teammate struggled with his emotions, and that Sakura’s temper was hardly patient. She invited herself in, not noticing anything out of the ordinary.

“It’s awful quiet…” She narrowed her eyes, knowing the last time she came here, knowing she was home and it was this quiet, she had been in her room, asleep with her eyes tear-stained.

She sauntered up to her room, worry filling her mind. She pushed the door open, expecting to forcefully drag her friend out of bed. Ready to take her straight to Shikamaru and fix her friends up herself if she had to. 

But what she found made her heart swell with love and joy for a couple of the most important people in her life. Shikamaru was lying on his back with his hair down, framing his face, and thoroughly tangled. Sakura was nestled against his side using his chest as her pillow, her pink tresses splayed across his shoulder behind her, his arm wrapped tightly around her. Their clothes were scattered about the floor around the bed. The nosy blonde smirked, as she noted scratch marks on his chest, and lovebites along her neck and shoulders, and how Sakura lips swollen with kisses. They looked so happy and she couldn’t help but smile at the sight of them. She knew they would kill her for it later, but she took a quick picture on her phone, and sent it to Sakura.

It’s about damn time Shikamaru fessed up. Happy for you, Forehead. 

[ayyyez]

AM I LATE FOR REQUESTS??? if not!?!?! can i requests some pegging hcs for tobirama, shikamaru and madara??? i'm just in a pegging mood 24/7 yknow KDKSKDKAKD

a/n: yeeeeeeees more p*gging headcanons bless ari warnings: p*gging, sexual content (all below the cut) 18+ only content

Tobirama Senju

This man needs a good fcking, honestly. And never in a million years would he come up with this idea on his own. You need to convince him and you need to ease him into the idea. He is a very proud man but in the bedroom that is very easy to change. 

You have to ease him in by starting small. Blowjobs are the way to go with some added ass play. Get him on edge and then start with a finger and work your way up from there.

He’ll think that one was a one off but then you do it more and more and add more and he knows somethings up. Asks you about it. no he doesn’t say it explicitly he just says something like “what are you doing?” and you know what he means. Up to you whether or not you play dumb to tease him.

That’s the perfect time to bring it up. Afterwards he just sort of stares at you in silence. The truth is he’s never really given a second thought to sex before you and he never imagined anything along the lines of kinks so he is processing lmao. 

After the very tense and long silence he just sort of says “very well then.” and that is that. Won’t bring it up again until you are ready to do it. He literally can’t stop thinking about it though.

One night he comes home and you are ready to go. You tell him this and he kind of just stops and is like “what do I do.” you smile and say nothing because you’re going to do all the work. 

So fast forward to the good stuff. Now picture Tobirama on his back, pillow under is butt, you eating him out why jerking him off at the same time. He is dead, the stimulation is waaaay too much but he can’t let you stop. He is a hot mess. Definitely going to cum at least once before you stick in the dildo. 

The best position is probably on all fours but he refuses (he wants to look at you okay but you didn’t hear that from me) so leave him in that position, cum streaked up to his chest from his first orgasm and grab onto his thighs and pull him close to you. 

Be a sweety and give him a kiss. He will give you an exasperated look for making him cum so quickly. “Are you ready?” You ask and he just grunts with a nod. He wants this over with tbh. 

He winces as you put the tip in so go slow. You ease it in and once it’s all the way in he squeezes his eyes shut. Is this how it feels every time he enters you? Okay he has a new found respect for you. Also he feels hot but also good. 

Once he adjusts he will open his eyes and firmly say “do it.” and that’s your queue to start thrusting. And god is Tobirama a sight beneath you. The harder and faster you thrust, the louder his groans get. And then he is just a complete mess.

He is still sensitive from that first orgasm and just thinking about the fact you are fucking him senseless and that he still has cum over his chest is enough to send him over the edge but he controls himself as best he can. You can see his resolve breaking so nows the time to crank it up.

You reach your hand down and begin stroking him and the moan that slips from him is enough to make you cum. He is more vocal than usual, he’s losing control and yep he is cumming hard. This time he cums so hard it’s not just over him but over you too. 

Clean this man up because he is thoroughly fucked out. Draw a bath and cuddle up with him for the rest of the night. 

Madara Uchiha

100% down for some good p*gging. He is such a bottom at heart and just the thought of you fcking him gets him excited. Even encourages you to get a bigger dildo. He is ready to be fcked. 

He is such a tease the whole time too, making sly comments through the whole process. Has smirk on his face the whole time too and if you want to get him back for that I have one word for you: overstimulation.

The whole point of you two getting down and dirty right now was to start easing him into the process but now this is grounds to tease him. He also has no qualms getting down on all fours with his ass in the air but you know he will enjoy that way too much. 

For now you settle for him on his knees on the bed so you can stimulate the front and the back. You sucking his cock while your fingers (with a lot of lub) work his back. 

At first he’s talking a lot with a few sharp hisses and unsteady breaths here and there. But once you work two fingers into him and begin scissoring he is less talk and more moan. 

You continue to work your fingers in nice and deep looking for that certain sweet spot. You almost choke when you find it because he thrust forward deep into your mouth. Ah, found it. 

You continue to hit that spot and deep throat him at the same time. he is panting above you, barely able to stay upright. The whines that come from him only spur you along. And just when he’s about to come you remove your mouth from the equation and take a firm grip at the base of his cock. 

Madara groans and tells you to let him come. You smile and insist he ought to wait for the main event. He tries not to beg but his “hurry up then.” comes across desperate and he knows it.

You continue fingering his asshole, slow and firm, opening him up nice and wide. Every now and again you will take his cock into your mouth and take him fully to the back of your throat before popping off again. 

And you continue to edge him then prevent him from cumming constantly until he can’t take it anymore and begs you to put him out of his misery. He needs to cum.

So nows the time you tell him to get on all fours. You don’t miss the way his arms seem to shake as he does. You’ve teased him enough so you quickly line up the dildo and push the tip in. He moans when you do and you continue entering him slowly. 

The second you enter you don’t wait for him to adjust, you simply pull out and slam back in again. His whole body shudders but he doesn’t protest. He always did like a little bit of pain. 

You continue this, growing in speed and force until he is a mess of moans again. He can barely keep himself up on his arms and he’s pushing back against you. God he wants to cum. 

And he doesn’t take long to cum either, you don’t even have to touch his cock, the stimulation from behind his more than enough. He is a mess, cumming over himself and the sheets. 

He expects affection and care after. Clean him up, get him comfortable. Won’t let you go to sleep before he gets you off though even if you have to lazily ride him to do it. He is spent lol. 

Shikamaru Nara

So casual about it. “Oh you want to fuck me from behind with a dildo? Sure when should we do it?” And you just kind of sit there in shock like “tonight?” and he thinks for a second. “Tomorrow night, I have to get up early tomorrow morning.” 

And thats that. You make the preparations and he comes home ready for action. Well he insists on showering first while you get the lub and the dildo ready. You also make a point of looking extra sexy just to up the mood of the whole thing. 

He comes out with his lower half wrapped in a towel, his hair out and wet, sticking to his neck and shoulders. Oh is it a sight to see, ah this man. He looks at you expectingly, before scratching the back of his neck with a neutral expression. 

“I prepared myself in the shower so it’ll be easier.” Oh yes he fingered himself and opened up in the shower just for you. “Also I thought I should lie on the edge of the bed. It’s supposed to hit deeper and will probably give you a better view.”

You blink. Once, twice--what did he just say? “How do you know that?” You ask, entirely surprised. He just shrugs. “I think I read it somewhere.” Did he research this or did he actually just know it? He just knows okay.

Walks over to you and starts kissing you. He always was big on setting the mood even if it was just some deep kissing. His tongue pushes against yours and wait who was fcking who again? 

He pulls away, drops his towel and sits on the edge of the bed. you kneel between his legs and push him down against the mattress with one hand while your other takes his cock and pumps it to life. 

He sniggers at your eager hand and you lick a broad stroke up the underside of his cock. He lets out soft puffs of air as you begin to suck his dick. Then you manoeuvre him a little so one hand slides down to his asshole to begin to work your fingers inside him.

Two fingers slip in unhindered and wow he really did prepare himself in the shower. It’s not long before you start scissoring inside him and pushing him to the edge. His legs begin to shake and you can pracically hear him biting his bottom lip. 

He was beyond ready. You stood up and pulled him so his add was just over the edge of the bed. “Ready?” You ask. “Sure.” he replies. You don’t miss the redness of his cheeks. Everything felt very hot. 

You line the tip of the dildo against his hole and begin pushing in. He watches your face the whole time through squinting eyes. He is determined to see this through. 

And then you’re fully in and he sighs, wiping the sweat off his forehead. Then it’s time to move and wow it really does hit deeper when you are standing. His lower half jolts but he doesn’t protest. You continue this, picking up speed each time.

It’s not long before he is gripping the sheet below him in balled fists and pushing against you with every thrust. And when he finally does cum it’s seconds after you’ve reached for his cock and given him a few tentative strokes. 

Ultimately he enjoys it but only when he doesn’t have to be anywhere the next day. Please take a lazy shower with him he wants to lean against you and get cleaned up. How troublesome he needed two showers.

[twinkletoes-rp]

Naruto AU “Surface Breaker” Ch. 5 - Those Who Stay

(Can also be read on FFN | AO3 | Previous | Next )

--

Meanwhile, hours earlier back at the hospital, Naruto’s been pretty quiet since Sakura left. Neither of his friends expected much else, though, and they trust him to talk when he’s ready. On the bright side, much to Shikamaru’s relief, they’ve finally gotten his nose to stop bleeding with a few pointers from Kakashi.

“Where’d you learn that, Kakashi-sensei?” Naruto asks curiously, wiping off the last of the blood with the damp tissues Shikamaru hands him.

Kakashi huffs a laugh in that quiet, half-hearted way Naruto’s learned means he’s accidentally touched a repressed-memory nerve, and his heart pangs. He hates doing that. It felt the same way when he asked him who the White Fang of the Leaf was during their mission to rescue Gaara. Kakashi rests his head against the wall to stare upward, at the ceiling or maybe somewhere far above it, just like back then, too. Naruto wonders what he sees, what he’s looking for, when he does that. “Just…something an old friend taught me.”

Naruto smiles softly and nods, but stays quiet, understanding. He has questions – he’s always wanted to know more about his introverted sensei – but he doesn’t want to bring up any more painful memories for him.

Shikamaru takes the pink-tinged tissues from his hand, and that reminds Naruto that he never actually heard what Kakashi-sensei thought of his decision. His smile falls victim to his nerves, but he takes a silent breath and does his best to steel himself. At the very least, he knows Kakashi-sensei won’t hit him.

“Kakashi-sensei?” The man looks over at his soft, careful voice. “I…you never said…how you feel about…” He trails off, eyes falling as he bites his lip, his worries for once getting the better of him. He’d hate it if…if Kakashi-sensei was angry with him, too…

“About you giving up on Sasuke,” Kakashi finishes, a statement, not a question. Naruto hesitates a half-second, holding his breath, but nods. His teacher sighs, scratching his head. “Honestly, Naruto, as complicated as this looks, for me, it’s not.” A meaningful pause, in which Kakashi’s black eye locks tight with Naruto’s bright blues. A small, reassuring smile comes. “Do you remember the first lesson I taught you?”

Naruto blinks at the sudden question, but nods immediately, even as his brain hurries to catch up. “Y-yeah, of course.”

“And…?” Kakashi prompts, a sort of sing-song. His tone might make him sound amused, but Naruto knows he’s serious. He’d never poke fun at his Ninja Way. Neither would Naruto.

“‘In the ninja world, those who break the rules are scum. That’s true. But…” he smirks something fierce, eyes glinting with resolve, “…those who abandon their friends are worse than scum.’”

Kakashi’s smile grows, heart warming at the fact that he even remembered it word for word. This kid... “Correct!”

Naruto beams at even that small praise, and at his side, just silently observing, Shikamaru can’t help but smile softly in turn. So that was their first lesson, huh? Seems like something Kakashi would instill in them, and he absolutely expects Naruto to latch on to something like that with everything he is. It just makes the blond even more charismatic, in his opinion (and endearingly troublesome, a new kind he’s surprising to find he honestly doesn’t mind). Shame it fell on deaf ears in Sasuke’s case, though.

As if reading his mind, Kakashi goes on. “That said, Naruto, I mean it when I say I’m happy and relieved as all hell about the choice you’ve made. I’m also very proud of you. Not everyone would choose the path you have. Most that I’ve seen in your position abandon everything for the one they’re chasing, don’t take the time to look around at what they have, those who’ve stayed, and choose them over the deserter.” He softens a little more, voice with it, maybe turns the slightest bit pained and nostalgic, while his smile grows fonder. “It’s admirable. It really is. You don’t know how much.”

To say Naruto is relieved is an understatement. He just stares at Kakashi for a long moment, so touched he can’t even speak. Then, a slow, toothy grin lifts his lips, and he’s not really surprised when tears sting the corners of his eyes for a different reason than before. He feels like he can breathe again, like a huge weight’s been lifted off his chest. “W-well, I can’t say it was an easy decision, but…I’m—I’m really happy you approve, sensei.” He has the grace to look sheepish as he scratches his cheek, smile matching. “You were the one who tried to tell Sakura and me that Sasuke wasn’t the person we knew, that his intent to kill was…” he glances down at himself and gestures for emphasis, a wry laugh leaving him, “…undeniable… I didn’t want to believe it, I guess…and then, when things went bad, I just wanted to protect you guys…but still…”

He looks back up at him, guilt hollowing out a sharp space in his chest. He remembers what Iruka said about the panic attack Kakashi could very well have suffered on his behalf. “I’m so sorry for all the trouble I caused. I didn’t mean to scare you, I swear.” He bows as low as he can in his current state, pain be damned. “Thank you so much for staying by me all this time, sensei.”

Kakashi blinks a wide eye, but then breathes a laugh and shakes his head. He gives Naruto a soft smile. “You have nothing to apologize for, Naruto. That kind of change in a person… It’s hard to believe until you see it for yourself. I don’t blame either of you for being in denial, for thinking you could still save him even then.” He melts a little more. “You don’t have to thank me either. I’m your sensei. It’s my job to be here for you.” His eye narrows and words slow a bit as a thought suddenly occurs to him... “But even if it weren’t, I’d still…do my best to be here…”

It could be Naruto’s imagination, but he swears he feels something in the room, maybe the world, shift all of a sudden, like a deadbolt sliding into place. He’s not sure what it is, but…it feels big.

Gears turning in Kakashi’s mind, he straightens from his lean against the wall and looks at Naruto with a kind of fire in his eyes. The boy’s eyes widen. He feels like he’s being charged with something...

“Which is why…” he sighs heavily, rubbing the back of his neck, “…I need to apologize to you, too, Naruto.” Naruto opens his mouth, wanting to protest, but Kakashi holds up a hand. “I broke my own rule. You’re my student, yes, but you’re also my comrade and my friend, and in focusing on training Sasuke years ago, I effectively abandoned you. It won’t excuse anything, but…if you’ll let me, I’d like to explain.” A big-picture plan is starting to come together in his mind, and he can’t keep back a wicked smirk. “Actually, there are many things I’d like to explain,” his eye flits between them, “if you boys don’t mind indulging an overworked, under-rested sensei.”

Shikamaru, for his part, leans back in his chair, fingers locked behind his head. He has no idea what this is about, but he can feel it’s big, too. Excited, mischievous anticipation buzzing under his skin, his smirk matches Kakashi’s. “This oughta be good.”

Glancing at him out of the corner of his eye, Naruto follows him in relaxing. He’s confused, but he trusts Shikamaru, and he trusts Kakashi, too. If he says he has something important to tell him, he knows he does. He nods. “Okay, sensei. I’m listening.”

Kakashi takes a deep breath, deeper than he has in a long time. He’s quiet for a long few moments as he thinks, thumb and forefinger curled at his chin. “To be honest, I’m not sure where to start. There are so many things I need to tell you...” He hums. “But I suppose the best place would be to finish what I started.”

He fixes his eye on Naruto again. “Like I said, I need to apologize to you for the way I focused on training Sasuke for the Chunin Exams. You probably thought I was just worried about him facing the old Gaara.” Naruto nods, but raises an eyebrow. That must mean there was more to it, but…he can’t imagine what. Kakashi guiltily appreciates his innocence, almost wishes that was really how it was. “While that was part of it…it was more than that.”

He stands a little taller. “Despite what you went through growing up, despite having every reason in the world to hate this village and its people, you were such a good kid at heart, Naruto. You had people you cared about who cared about you, and I knew those bonds were something you wouldn’t throw away for anything. I was more than confident I didn’t have to worry about you falling into darkness.”

Naruto looks away shyly, a happy, touched smile painting his lips. Shikamaru, watching, softens. He’s got that right…

“But Sasuke…” Kakashi frowns deeply, “…he wasn’t like you. He didn’t accept any of the bonds offered here, even with his own teammates. All he saw were the bonds he lost, the sullied bond of revenge with Itachi the only one he saw as worth anything. He worried me like nothing else, so I put almost all of my time and effort into trying to keep him from straying.” He mentally kicks himself for this for the thousandth time, curling into himself some. “I didn’t realize at the time how badly I was neglecting you and Sakura. You both had to find teachers of your own because I wasn’t there for you the way I should have been…” He sighs wearily, scrubbing a hand down his face. “In short, I wasn’t a very good sensei to you, nowhere near what I should have been, and I’m sorry.” He bows as low as he can. “I’m so sorry. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but…I just needed you to know.”

There’s a long moment of stretching silence. Naruto’s pretty sure he’s forgotten to breathe. Then, “What…what are you talking about?”

The sheer shock and incredulity in his voice makes Kakashi snap up, eye wide, and he slowly straightens as Naruto elaborates.

“Kakashi-sensei, if I really thought you had anything to apologize for, if there was anything at all to forgive, I’d tell you. But there’s not. The fact is, what you did…” He looks down at his bandaged hand and closes his eyes, can’t help falling tender. Shikamaru watches him closely. He’s remembering Master Jiraiya a lot lately. He hopes it heals more than hurts. When Naruto looks up at Kakashi again, his grin is bright and gentle at once. “I got to spend some of the best years of my life training with Pervy Sage, and Sakura finally got to channel her strength and smarts into something she loves with Granny Tsunade. It ended up being the best possible thing for us.” He chuckles. “No offense, but you couldn’t have taught us what they did. It would’ve been pretty funny to see you try, though.”

Kakashi, even as shell-shocked as he is, can’t say he’s really surprised. This is Naruto they’re talking about, after all. He’s always seen things a little differently, and especially in situations like this, maybe it’s for the best. He chuckles and finds himself smiling. “Yes, I suppose you’re right about that. I’d look ridiculous trying to spit toad oil…”

Naruto snickers right along with him just imagining it, Shikamaru joining in.

“Besides,” the blond continues after a moment, “Sakura and I are still here, right? If we really hated you for all that, we wouldn’t be.” His smile turns a bit sad, maybe a little guilty, but it’s empathetic to the utmost, too. “The truth is, sensei…Pervy Sage told me a long time ago that it was always going to be this way with Sasuke. He said it was destined to happen, and…looking back…I think he was right. All the signs pointed that way. I just…didn’t want to listen, and apparently,” he points to his nose, a small laugh escaping, “Sakura’s even worse than me.” Blue eyes kind, his expression turns gentle, yet firm. “So please, don’t blame yourself for Sasuke’s mistakes. It wasn’t your fault. It would have happened with any of the other senseis, too. I’m sure of it.”

He tilts his head a bit, his loving, devil-may-care beam coming back in full force. “I wouldn’t want anyone else for a sensei anyway. You’re the only one I’d ever accept. I’m so happy and grateful to have you in my life.” A heartbeat, and then the softest look overtakes his face, voice following. “I love you, Kakashi-sensei. Thank you for everything.”

A split second, there’s a flash, and the next thing he knows, Kakashi-sensei is hugging him. Kakashi-sensei. Hugging him. He can’t remember if he’s ever done it before, but in his defense, he’s pretty sure his brain is overloading with disbelief and joy. Given a moment or two, Naruto finally snaps out of it enough to hug him back as tightly as he can, burying his face in his middle and breathing him in.

“I…I…l-love you, too…Naruto…” Kakashi whispers, and if Naruto feels the desperation and maybe even senses some touch-starved tendencies in his embrace, he won’t tell a soul. He just curls a light fist in his vest and holds his teacher closer. Who knows if he’s going to get an opportunity like this again any time soon, if ever?

Once Kakashi’s composed himself a few minutes later, he doesn’t leave. Instead, he sits right there on the bed at Naruto’s side, and the look in his eyes is even more of an inferno than before. “I’m going to tell you every last thing Lord Third ever wanted kept from you.” Naruto’s eyes widen, heart starting to pound at the weight to those words, but he just swallows and nods. He knows Kakashi will tell him what he means by that without him asking. “At the time, it was mostly to keep you safe and partly because, if you’ll recall, you were something of a loudmouth.”

Shikamaru smirks and can’t help but tease, elbowing his friend gently, “Yeah, and that’s being generous.”

Of course, all Naruto can do to that is smirk right back and snicker mischievously. He was the terror of the village with his pranks, all right.

“Yes, well…” Kakashi concedes, “…you had good reasons for them.” Shikamaru nods, expression softening and darkening at once. No denying that. “I’m making the executive decision to tell you now because you’re older and more mature than you were during Lord Third’s time. You’ll take it better and won’t go popping your mouth off about it like you might have then. About this, anyway. I also know that Lady Tsunade, as much as she cares for you, would want you to know. ”

Naruto takes all that in for a few seconds and then nods. “O-okay… So…what’s all this about, sensei?”

Kakashi takes a deep breath, even deeper than the last one, and Naruto swears yellow lightning flashes across his eye. “Naruto…you are the son of the Fourth Hokage, Minato Namikaze.”

Instantly, the room goes dead silent. A wide-eyed Naruto forgets to breathe—hell, he thinks he may have forgotten how. Shikamaru’s much the same.

“I’m…I’m what…?” he whispers, barely even that, after a few more seconds, trying to wrap his mind around it. This is…he’s always wondered about his parents, but…but this…?!

Shikamaru sits as straight as a ramrod, eyes narrowing and hands clutching his knees so tightly, his knuckles go white. “Wait, sensei…are you…you’re being serious right now?”

Kakashi nods. Naruto doesn’t think he’s ever seen him more serious. “I am. With everything in me. I swear on my Ninja Way, you are Minato’s son.”

Naruto gulps, sitting back, possibly in even more shock than he was before. He knows Kakashi-sensei would never lie about this, especially if it meant soiling something so precious to him. “W-wait, but—how do you know? Did you know him or something, sensei?”

Kakashi takes another breath and sighs lightly, crossing his arms and looking up at the ceiling again. He closes his eye while he thinks. It’s been so long since he’s deliberately thought of all this. He feels increasingly nauseous and afraid, silly as that might seem, but…he promised to tell him… “He was…he was my sensei…”

Naruto gasps, an excited, ecstatic beam springing to his face, Shikamaru mirroring it. He doesn’t want to hurt his sensei – he’s using that voice that says it hurts to talk about this – but he has to admit, this really is incredible! Of all the people in the world who could have turned out to be his father…! Despite his own wants, though, he swallows and does his best to rein himself in, expression gentling. “I know this is hurting you, sensei, so…we can stop. I don’t want to bring up any bad memories for you. I…I appreciate you telling me what you have already.”

Kakashi blinks, and then softens. This kid, honestly… He shakes his head. “I appreciate that, Naruto, more than you know. But this is something I have to do for you…” he glances upward and smiles softly, never mind that it’s half-pained, “…and for myself, too.”

He’s so, so tired of lying to this poor boy. Naruto deserves better, and damn it, he’s finally going to do right by him. He’s wanted to for a long time, he just…wasn’t strong enough. This won’t be easy for him, he knows, but he meant what he said. He’s not going to back out now, not when this is just the first step in making things right with Naruto.

He won’t make excuses. But in his heart, he hopes his sensei and Kushina will understand and forgive him for taking so long.

Naruto watches him for a few more seconds to make sure he’s really okay, then nods. “All right, if you’re sure.” His smile widens, never condescending, just kind. “If it gets to be too much, though, you can stop whenever you need to. I won’t mind, I promise.”

Kakashi nods, smile growing. “Right. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Naruto responds in kind, and then gets back to business. “So my—my Dad really was your sensei, sensei? For real?” His blue eyes shine just thinking about it. Beside him, Shikamaru’s brown eyes are bright and attentive, laser focused.

Knowing that just hearing about it won’t be enough to satisfy the two boys, Kakashi’s already reaching past his vest into a specially sewn-in secret pocket of his shirt to pull out a small, old photograph he carries with him everywhere he goes. He’s worked hard to keep it in good condition. There’s a bigger copy on his nightstand at home.

It’s his old team photo, the first and last he ever took with them. It’s his most prized possession alongside his Sharingan and the specialized med kit Rin gave him all those years ago.

Both boys look like kids on Christmas, but especially Naruto. He looks like he’s about to cry, but keeps it back. He points a shaky finger at the grinning blond man in the middle of the photo, unable to take his eyes off of him. “Is that…is that him?” he whispers, voice slightly thick, almost not daring to hope or believe. “Is that…?”

“Your father, yes,” Kakashi confirms gently, fondness in every note.

He can only stare for a long couple moments before wanting to know, “What…what was he like?”

Kakashi hums in thought, looking up at the ceiling again. It hits Naruto that maybe he’s looking up toward Heaven, toward his parents and the others he’s lost. Maybe it makes him feel closer to them. “He was the best sensei I could have ever asked for. I was five years old when I made genin and was assigned to him, but he never treated me like I was anything but an equal. I appreciated that more than anything. He was the strongest ninja I’ve ever met. He perfected the Second Hokage’s fledgling Flying Thunder God Technique, calling it the Flying Raijin, which lets a user mark weapons or people or anything else he wants and get there in a flash, almost like teleportation. It was incredible. He used it to be as fast as a flash of lightning across the sky. He saved my life with it once. That’s how he earned the nickname ‘Yellow Flash of the Leaf.’”

He smiles even more. “Of course, while that might have made his enemies quake in their boots and the village adore and respect him, that wasn’t what made his peers and students like me love him so much. Minato was kind and patient and insanely smart, a brilliant tactician. He was so loving, too. Sometimes, I thought that might be the only thing in him, there was so much of it. I wish…” he pauses, realizing he was letting his heart lead the conversation instead of his head; his smile falls tender, “…I wish I’d had more time with him…”

Naruto is quiet while he processes all this, does his best to burn it into his memory. He just keeps staring at the image of his father in his beloved sensei’s hand, though there’s a different white-haired, red-painted face there, too, in his mind’s eye. “I know the feeling…” he tells him softly, peering up at Kakashi with deep blue eyes that communicate empathy beyond words. There’s a tiny, kind smile on his face. “I wish you did, too, sensei…”

Kakashi can’t help the warmth in his returning grin. “Thank you, Naruto. I wish you could have met him.”

Naruto melts a little more and hums in agreement, and then he perks up like he just remembered something important. “Oh! What—what about my mom? Who was she? She must have been an Uzumaki, right?”

Kakashi nods, and there’s something suddenly soft, more so than with Minato, in his expression. He breathes a laugh. “Yes, she was. Her name was Kushina, and she had hair as red as could be. She was known for it, alongside her temper and strength. The way I heard it, ever since she was a little girl at the Academy, the boys used to make fun of her round face and red hair, calling her ‘tomato,’ so she beat them all up. It wasn’t long before she earned the nickname Red-Hot Habanero.” He laughs, unable to help himself as he remembers some of the stories she and Minato used to tell him growing up. “She was one of the strongest and most skilled shinobi in the village, right alongside your father. She was the best sealer we had, and she taught Minato everything she knew.” He eyes Naruto pointedly, voice lowering some sensitively. “She was also the Nine Tails Jinchuuriki before you.”

Naruto’s eyes go wide and a light gasp leaves him, his mouth dropping open some. At his side, Shikamaru looks between him and Kakashi, eyes narrowing. “So, wait, was it a lineage thing? Is that why Naruto was chosen to be the next vessel? But then why choose the day he was born? Seems a little cruel to inflict something like that on a newborn baby, don’t you think?”

Kakashi sits back a bit and scratches his head with a heavy sigh. He’s been doing a lot of that today, and he thinks he’ll be doing a lot more of it before this is over. “That…is where it gets complicated…”

He tells them all about the night Naruto was born – how a masked man stole into the village to extract the Nine Tails from Kushina and release it onto the Leaf, how every option she and Minato had to deal with the Fox except seal it inside Naruto was cut off, how they shielded Naruto with their own bodies when the Nine Tails overheard and attacked, and, after sealing the Fox inside him with the Eight Trigrams Seal, told him that they believed in Naruto and his ability to control the Nine Tails one day, choosing to spend their last moments showering him with all the love they had inside them.

Shikamaru is speechless. He knew about the Nine Tails’ attack on the village and all, but he never knew it went down like that. Never knew it involved Naruto directly, though thinking about it now, it makes a lot of sense. Glancing over at Naruto, though…he swallows, heart sinking. He wants to reach over to comfort him, but…he’s not sure he should.

Naruto’s bandaged hand is curled tightly in his hospital gown at his stomach, just over his seal, and while tears are streaming down his face, it’s hard to tell if he’s angry or sad or horrified. Maybe it’s all three. Hell, maybe he’s not sure how to feel. Shikamaru wouldn’t blame him for that. He’s only listening, and he’s not entirely sure himself.

Shikamaru’s not wrong. Naruto…doesn’t know how to feel at all. Ever since he learned of its existence, he’s always felt resentment for the Nine Tails. It was the reason the village hated him and he didn’t have anyone for so long. And now, given he just learned it killed his parents, too…he wants to hate it. Viciously, all-encompassingly, no holds barred.

But…he can’t. Its chakra has pulled him out of some truly tough spots, and this time…it used its own chakra to save his life, putting its own on the line in the process. He remembers the flash of protectiveness he felt in that moment, never mind that it was done with dragging paws. It might have only been because they share a body, and if Naruto dies, it does, too, but…then why the protectiveness at all? Why…why feel anything for him but disdain and disgust? Why tell him not to give up, which seems like something one would only say to someone they care about? It just…doesn’t make sense to him…

But maybe…he can at least start to find out when he talks to the Nine Tails himself.

They give him a few minutes, and when he finally wipes away his tears and sniffs, he nods at Kakashi. “I-I see…” his voice cracks, but he figured it would. He gives a barely-there, conflicted smile. “Thank you for telling me, sensei.”

Kakashi nods, wishing this didn’t have to be so painful for him. “Of course… You deserve to know.” Suddenly, a thought hits him that he hopes will cheer him up a little, and the man offers a small, semi-amused grin. “I bet you’ll never guess who the ANBU security detail was while your mom was pregnant.”

Naruto blinks at the abrupt topic change, but still tries to think of anyone in the ANBU that he knows. “It couldn’t have been Sai ‘cause he wasn’t born yet…and Captain Yamato wasn’t part of the Hokage’s ANBU, so…”

Kakashi chuckles. “Nope.” His smile grows. “It was me.”

Naruto gasps, pointing at him. “W-wait, for real? You, Kakashi-sensei?”

He nods. “Mm hmm! I was Minato’s top student and a captain in the ANBU at the time. Things in the ANBU were getting a little rough for a thirteen-year-old, so he wanted to give me a breather. Besides, being trusted with something as important as watching over the woman who was practically my mother and being able to care for you and make my surrogate father proud at the same time…” He basks in the glow of that memory’s feeling for a moment. “What more could I have asked for?”

Naruto looks at him like he’s just hung the starting moon outside, practically with stars in his eyes. “Whoa…! So, you’re, like, my guardian angel or something, huh, sensei?”

Kakashi flushes at the comparison, raising his hands feebly. “W-well, I…don’t know if I’d go that far, but…I appreciate the sentiment.”

Naruto just grins sunnily before turning back to the picture. “Okay, so I know that’s you.” He points at the obviously younger Kakashi, grumpy and side-eyeing the black-haired boy to his left. He chuckles. “You were a really cute kid, sensei,” he can’t help but tell him.

Kakashi blushes a little more, an embarrassed laugh escaping him. “T-thank you…”

Naruto’s finger moves to the girl at the bottom, in the middle of Kakashi and the other boy. “Who’s she? She’s your teammate, right?”

Kakashi melts, that soft, fond, nostalgic tone coming back to his voice. “Remember that friend with the medical expertise I mentioned? This was her. Her name was Rin Nohara, and she was one of the kindest people I’ve ever met.” He winks. “Alongside you and Obito, that is.”

Naruto smiles shyly, but brightly, flushing at the high compliment. He’s not sure who Obito is, but he’s guessing he’ll find out. Shikamaru breathes a laugh, unable to keep from melting as he watches Naruto. That’s probably the truest core assessment he’s ever heard. Naruto points at the medical ninja armband Rin’s wearing in the photo, an old style they’ve updated for the new generation. “Hey, wait, so does this mean she was your team’s medical ninja?”

Kakashi grins with pride. “Yes. Yes, she was. She was only thirteen, but she was the most advanced medical ninja in our class, especially for her age.”

Naruto gasps excitedly, eyes shining. “Wait, so she was like our Sakura? That’s so cool!”

Kakashi laughs, this one more genuine. Naruto’s relieved to see his smile matches. “Yes. Less brash and violent—besides defending us on missions, I don’t think Rin had a mean bone in her body—but essentially, yes. To be honest, I rarely got hurt in the field, but—” he breathes a laugh; he’s saying more than he means to, really, but he blames the nostalgia and the fact that he hasn’t talked about his old team openly in…longer than Naruto’s been alive, he thinks, “—she wanted to make sure someone else knew at least some of what she did beyond the basics in case we were ever separated or she got hurt or taken out on a mission.

“Mostly for…” his finger drifts a few millimeters to land on the goggles-wearing boy with spiky black hair beside Kakashi, “…his sake. His name was Obito Uchiha, and he…” his voice goes softer here and keeps going, probably without him realizing, expression following with some sadness sneaking in, too, “…he was my rival and, admittedly, the closest thing I had to a best friend. The closest thing I’d let myself have, anyway, at the time.”

Naruto can’t help but notice that Kakashi seems so…conflicted about this Obito guy, so sorry and grateful at once. Could it be something like him and Sasuke? Or…is it more than that? He doesn’t miss the way he keeps saying ‘was’ about both him and Rin, so…

“Like I mentioned before, he was another of those kindest people I’ve ever met, so loudly friendly and adoring and not caring who knew it. He was perpetually late to everything because he was always helping out the elderly in the village. They adored him. Looking back, it was cute, honestly.” He laughs, remembering it. “Like you, he was loud and proud and dreamed of being Hokage someday. And on top of that, he was so in love with Rin, ever since they were small, it was almost sad. Sweet, but sad because…” he blushes and chuckles, a bit embarrassed to admit this part, even all these years later, “…w-well, he…knew how she felt about me…”

Naruto and Shikamaru’s eyes go wide at that, and they look at each other with matching enthused grins. “Whoa! No way! Kakashi, you had a girlfriend?! She was so pretty and smart, just like Sakura! You’re so lucky!” Naruto praises.

Shikamaru chuckles and smirks. “I gotta admit, sensei, I never really pictured you with anyone besides your dirty books, but someone like her? She doesn’t seem like she’d be too needy or naggy, so,” he shrugs, “I can see it.” He winks. “Good job.”

Kakashi waves his hand, turning almost red. “Whoa, whoa, boys! I appreciate the support, but that’s actually…not what happened.” They both blink, raising twin eyebrows. “I didn’t…share her feelings. Not because there was anything wrong with her, of course not. On the contrary, I would have been damn lucky to have someone like her by my side. I just…well, it was complicated on my part. She understood my reasons, though, and did her best to care for me regardless. As for Obito…” he softens again, “…all he wanted was her happiness, so even if it ended with him hurt, he did his best to be there for her and even encouraged her feelings for me.” He breathes a barely-there laugh, appreciating and heartbroken at once. “It was…admirable. Yeah… That’s what it was.” His gaze slides to Naruto. “It actually reminds me a lot of you with Sakura and Sasuke.”

Naruto blushes brightly, and Shikamaru snickers, unable to help himself. Once he shakes that off, he looks back to his sensei, expression serious. “So…what happened to him?” he asks quietly, gently, not wanting to open anything if he doesn’t have to. He’s trying to give him an out, honestly, not that he thinks his teacher will take it.

Kakashi’s eye falls, and he goes silent. The room around him, too, the very air, is suddenly devoid of sound, Naruto swears. He also thinks it’s gotten at least a few degrees colder. It lasts for a good minute or two until Kakashi, staring at his team photo, at Obito in particular, says, voice barely above a whisper, “I’m not an Uchiha.”

Naruto cocks his head, a small “Huh?” leaving him. “Well, yeah… Of course you’re not…”

Shikamaru, on the other hand, clues in almost immediately. “And yet you have a Sharingan.”

Kakashi’s eye flicks back up, voice a little stronger this time. “And do you know how that’s possible?”

Shikamaru thinks, Naruto looking to him because he’s still confused, but also honestly intrigued. “The only way a person can have a Sharingan if they’re not born with Uchiha blood is…” his sharp eyes snap up to meet Kakashi’s, “…transplantation.”

A nod. “Exactly.”

Naruto’s eyes widen, and he turns back to Kakashi. “W-wait, so…your Sharingan… You’re saying it’s…it was someone else’s?”

He feels like an idiot, like he should have already known that, and maybe he already did on some level. But figuring something for years and finding out it’s true are two completely different things.

A long inhale through his nose, and Kakashi holds it while he moves his crossed leg the tiniest bit so it’s touching Naruto’s. Even that small source of warmth helps ground him. He exhales slowly through his mouth. It’s a calming exercise Rin taught him years ago, and it always helps. He’s still so grateful. “Yes, Naruto. It was…” he glances down at the photograph, voice lowering again, “…it was Obito’s…”

Naruto’s eyes widen, drifting to the picture again. For Kakashi to be the only one of his Dad’s students left to protect his Mom…he must have been young, really young, when all this happened, right…? He feels his heart and stomach sink, and he can’t help swallowing before asking, “Are you…sure you want to tell us? You don’t have to, really. I don’t...” He shakes his head and starts over, a sweet smile coming as he reaches out to cradle Kakashi’s photo hand with his. “The last thing I’d ever want to do is to hurt you, sensei…”

Kakashi’s gaze finds Naruto’s, and a helpless, easy smile rides his tiny sigh. He still has no idea how far he’d really go for him, does he? Compared to that…this is nothing. Bringing up his other hand, he sandwiches Naruto’s between his and squeezes. “I know, Naruto,” he tells him softly, so much more grateful than he will probably ever understand. “Believe me, I know. But this will be good for you two as well as me, I promise. I haven’t…I can’t…remember the last time I talked about Obito and Rin when I wasn’t visiting their graves…and they deserve more. Better.” He smiles. “Maybe…you can help with that.”

Naruto’s eyes widen, understanding the weight he’s putting on this. “O-of course, sensei…”

At his side, Shikamaru nods, rare conviction he’s only found recently lighting his eyes. “We’re all ears, sensei.”

Sitting back a bit, Kakashi lays his photo on the bed and crosses his arms, tilting his head back to look at the ceiling again as he thinks. “In order for all this to make sense…I suppose I’ll have to start at the beginning.” He takes a deep breath. This…is going to be difficult. “About six months ago, Naruto, you learned that the White Fang of the Leaf was my father. His real name was Sakumo Hatake, and he was one of the strongest ninja in the Leaf.”

He goes on to tell them about his father’s top secret mission behind enemy lines that he abandoned in order to save his captured teammates during the Third Great Ninja War, how the village and those same comrades vilified and ostracized him for it, and how the emotional and physical toll it had on him were so great that, eventually, he took his own life…and Kakashi, still just a little boy, was the one who found him.

Naruto sheds a good few tears, but he’s also curling a tight fist in his sheets and gritting his teeth. He wants to argue for Kakashi’s father’s sake, but—they undoubtedly already know how he feels, and especially in Kakashi’s case, he knows better than anyone how awful and unfair and wrong that was. Besides…he knows it would be easier for Kakashi if he’s able to get it all out at once. Swallowing, he nods for Kakashi to continue.

“After that…I stuck to the ninja rules like it was life or death. Because, to me…it was. Even when I was on a team with Minato-sensei, Rin, and Obito, I didn’t lighten up at all. Obito and I fought over it constantly.” He chuckles. “We were always at each other’s throats. Minato-sensei tried to help me, but…nothing could sway me. I was sure that was the only way to survive in this ninja world.” He takes a deep breath. “And then…that day came…the day that changed my whole outlook on life and,” he reaches up to rest delicate fingers over his Sharingan eye, other eye deep in his memories already, “gave me this eye.”

Naruto and Shikamaru both swallow thickly, mouths dry and hearts already starting to pound. Kakashi, for his part…without these two here to ground him, no matter how many years it’s been…he’s not sure he’d be able to get through this. He thanks everything for them.

“It was a mission that, if successful, would eventually lead the Hidden Leaf to victory in the war. While Minato-sensei was securing a place for our men elsewhere, the three of us were to take out Kannabi Bridge, the epicenter of the enemy’s most important supply route, which was guarded by a group of Stone ninja.”

He tells them every last detail about that mission. How Rin was captured and Obito wanted to go after her, but Kakashi refused because it would be breaking the rules; how Obito told him he believed Kakashi’s father was a great hero and he’d go after Rin just like he did his teammates no matter what; and how he repaired and revived Kakashi’s long-broken, dead heart with what would eventually become his Ninja Way.

“As much as I tried to deny it out of fear of losing them like I lost my father, I did care for Rin and Obito, so much more than I was ever brave enough to let on. I was a coward, the worst kind…”

He tells them how he went after Obito to save Rin and lost his eye saving him, and then how Obito awakened his Sharingan returning the favor. “It was the first time he’d ever actually taken a life, but he was the kind of person who would do anything to protect his friends,” he smiles gently, proudly, at his charge, “not unlike you, Naruto.”

He goes on about how they managed to save Rin, but…that’s when things went horribly wrong. How one of the Stone ninja brought the whole cave down on top of them, how Kakashi was knocked out for just a few seconds when a rock hit his bad eye, but…it was enough. His voice shakes here, and he curls shaking hands into white-knuckled fists. He feels almost sick retelling this part, but he presses on. He tells them how Obito ended up saving him, but couldn’t save himself from the boulder the size of a building, how it crushed his entire right side, how…how he was dying right in front of them, but all he had to ask was if they were okay…

Naruto’s never seen his sensei cry before. Honestly, he never thought he would. Maybe that was stupid and naïve of him. To be fair, Kakashi isn’t crying much yet, just a few tears here and there, but…still. Not that Naruto would ever judge him for that. Of course not, especially when he doesn’t have any room to talk himself. He’s crying much more than his sensei, harder than he even normally might be by now if it weren’t for seeing his teacher cry.

Kakashi, for his part, is just staring at his palm where his tears have landed in shock. He’s…crying…? He hasn’t cried in… The last time he cried was…when Obito…and Rin…and then when Minato-sensei and Kushina…but not…not since…! He…actually forgot how it felt to cry, how gross and vulnerable and raw it makes him feel. No wonder he repressed these memories and the emotions tied to them so much. But still…now that he’s started, he doesn’t think he can hope to stop. Thankfully, he knows Naruto and Shikamaru would be the last to judge him for something like this.

Tears or no, he forges ahead to tell them about how Obito said he wanted to give him his gift for making jounin and squad captain before he died, that he hadn’t before not out of spite or malice like Kakashi thought, but because he couldn’t think of anything good enough for the boy he secretly admired. Kakashi told them how Obito had praised and believed in him fully, how, at Obito’s behest, once the transplant was done Kakashi used his gift to defeat the enemy outside so he and Rin could escape, and then…how he and Rin had stayed by Obito’s side until the last possible moment.

Kakashi’s broken a good bit more by this point, shoulders trembling, head hanging, many more tears falling than before. Naruto’s tears are absolutely flooding his face while his shoulders quake horribly, but he’s biting his shaking, white-knuckled fist so his sobs don’t interrupt. Shikamaru has a hand on his back, rubbing it in a way he hopes will soothe him, at least a little.

Once they both calm down a little several minutes later, Kakashi keeps going with the last stretch. It’s Rin’s turn this time, and…Naruto can’t help the way his stomach sinks even lower. He can tell dredging up all this is taking a toll on his sensei. He’s just…not sure what kind. He seems like he’s tearing himself asunder, and yet…he also seems…better for it, too? The way he holds his head and shoulders just a tiny bit higher than usual, the light in his dark eye slowly getting brighter than he thinks he’s ever seen it.

Shikamaru gulps. He’s seeing an incredibly vulnerable side of Kakashi here that he never thought he’d see. He almost feels like he shouldn’t be here, like he’s invading a ridiculously private moment, but…if he didn’t want him here, Kakashi would say so, and he thinks he wants him here for Naruto, too. Hell, maybe it’s to help ground them both, seeing as he’s the only one able to keep his head between the three of them. Not that he’s saying there’s anything wrong with crying like they are, of course. Being a ninja and keeping an open heart…like Kakashi said, it’s a difficult thing, but man, is it admirable. If anything, this is just another example of why Naruto’s methods, while unorthodox, can touch and change other shinobis’ hearts so easily. Still…he wishes he could do more.

Kakashi tells them about how, months following Obito’s death, they were nearly done with a top secret mission when Rin was captured by Hidden Mist ninja, who sealed the Three Tails inside of her and planned to unleash it on the Leaf the second she stepped foot inside the village. How Rin begged him to kill her to protect the village, but Kakashi vehemently refused because that would be breaking his promise to take care of her to Obito and vowed to find another way, how they were ambushed by more Mist ninja, and then…how Rin chose to die…

A sharp jolt, and a lurching, pained sob suddenly leaps from Naruto’s throat, loud and strangled and ugly. It makes them all jump, Naruto, too, not even realizing it was coming, but he just lets his raining tears fall and clutches the right side of his chest opposite his heart, gritting his teeth against more harsh sobs. At first, they’re worried, thinking something might be wrong, but then they look closer and realize...

That side of his chest…that reaction to what Kakashi’s Lightning Blade must have felt like…the pain in his expression… Shikamaru’s expression goes dark, his hand on Naruto’s shoulder tightening as he bites back a curse, while Kakashi squeezes teary eyes shut for a moment, a strangled sound escaping him as well.

Sasuke’s Chidori…a copy of Kakashi’s Lightning Blade, at the time corrupted by Orochimaru’s Cursed Seal of Heaven…left a similar hole in Naruto’s own chest just a few years ago…

His reaction just drives it all home to Kakashi, who was already on the precipice of breaking entirely, and as his own tears threaten to become a river, Naruto looks up at him with a deep, gasping breath, the end a choking sob. Lifting his good arm, he waves him forward, almost begging, but he’d never force him. They both know that. And yet...

The next thing Kakashi knows, he’s reaching forward to let himself be pulled into Naruto’s strong, warm, safe hold. He feels like a child again, like he should be the one offering comfort to his precious student…but he also can’t imagine any other way this could go or anywhere else in the world he’d rather be.

“Y-you did well, sensei…” Naruto whispers, voice thick and cracking and splintered, but he doesn’t care. He curls warm, gentle fingers in silver hair. “Y-you’ve done enough…s-so much more… You—you can rest now…”

That’s all it takes. Kakashi shatters, utterly and completely and entirely unceremoniously.

Through it all, Naruto stays.

[quirrrky]

insecure

secret lovers (tumblr thread | fanfiction.net)

Chronological One-Shots / Post-War / Pre-Last 

After the Fourth Shinobi War, Naruto’s huge crush on Hinata gradually surfaces and the whole village of Konoha knows it…Well, aside from him.

entry ten

Prompt: Now that the war was over, Naruto and Hinata must face another challenge in their lives, adolescence.

/insecure/

Naruto couldn't feel so delighted. He was glad that he was successful into talking Sasuke's case out of the council. Well, that's all thanks to Shikamaru, Hinata and Iruka-sensei's effort in guiding him. That damn, Rhetoric, sure had an importance, after all!

The teme just left the village for some atonement and Naruto felt the needed that his friend might need a reminder that Konoha's doors will always be open for him by returning his hitai-ate.

He sighed, but as he did, an eager Konohamaru and his team caught up with him.

"Niichan! I've told you about this kore."

"Uh, not now? I don't know, Konohamaru, but your project doesn't seem to fit me dattebayo."

"Well, you're the only one I can rely on, niichan!" The brunette kid muttered as Naruto surrendered,

"Fine! Fine! But just for an hour, okay?"

They walked along the village street as Naruto stopped at the sight of his teammate.

"Sakura-chan?"

She lifted up her head, blush evident on her face, "Naruto…"

"Ah! Hinata seemed to be blossoming lately, eh? Just in time for spring?" Kiba retorted, making his teammate blush with his compliment.

"Why? It is because…"

"Yeah! Yeah, Shino! It was all because of that stupid-looking Naruto, who is looking more stupid, whenever he sees our Hinata!"

"That's not what I'm about to say…"

"Kiba-kun! Tha-that's not it!"

The leaves were now evident on the branches of the trees, coloring Konoha with a brand new shade. Gone were the days when they have to wear extra article of clothing just to keep them warm. Springtime had come and its manifestation was just beginning.

Team 8's briefing with their current Hokage, Kakashi (who was still unsure about taking the position although his face was quite blatantly etched on the Hokage rock), just finished and they will be sent to search a missing person who belonged to a powerful clan for next week.

"Well, he said he'll be returning, right?"

"Yeah, Shino-kun. He'll just be dropping by to return Sasuke-kun's hitai-ate back before he leaves the village."

Kiba scoffed and prided, "I don't really think you must go back there, Hinata. My senses can smell he's just near, so… Ah! See! I told you, in speaking of the devil, he's just right there. How about we surprise him, huh? Don't ya' think, Hinata? I wonder if he'll scream like a girl."

"Kiba-kun!" Nonetheless, Hinata's complaint was remained unheard as she was dragged hiding in a corner. They couldn't see him, but they could eavesdrop and he was with Sakura.

"Wait! I think Ino's somewhere here too?" Kiba informed them with Hinata ready to leave the scene, until their words started to mince her.

"I know that you have loved me ever since. I just realized that maybe…maybe we could try?"

Sakura-chan?

"I-I couldn't be any happier."

Naruto-kun…

Drowning her teammates' voices in the background, she ran away. Just far away from them. Where there was air, though she could hardly breathe.

That was all she needed to hear.

She didn't even need to see them. Just the words they professed to each other were enough to wake her up from her petty little sweet dream. A dream, it was all a dream.

His eyes, his smile and his gravelly voice would only remain as a dream to her. How could she not, when it felt so surreal and good? Naruto always made her feel like that. Out of many people in the world, he was the first to believe in her. Never, ever in her life did someone make her feel strong, important and worthy. She thought he was the exception, not thinking that he was just like that to everybody else.

She loved him, she truly did. It was a pure kind of love. Something that didn't demand reciprocation Although people may mistook it as unhealthy obsession, little did they know that for her entire life she never felt special until he cheered on her amongst the crowd. Until he believed in her when no one else did. He showed her that she could still walk with purpose. He showed her that it was still possible to smile even if nobody cared.

He made her believe.

Sadly, it was because it was just him. Nothing more, nothing less.

Sasuke-kun left the village now and who knew what happened?

All this time, Sakura-chan loved the boy. But Naruto-kun was also easy to love, and Hinata knew that he would search all over the town just to be with Sakura.

Stupid, stupid, stupid Hinata!

In her mind, she pictured her pink-haired friend and her blonde dream.

They looked good together.

Tears fell from her eyes, trying to force a smile on her face.

It made sense. Sakura-chan was confident, beautiful and a strong kunoichi, whom everyone in their village admired. It just made sense that she would be perfect for the brilliant hero, who brightened up the whole of Konoha.

He deserved someone like her. Someone who was unafraid to fight for what she really feels. And she was not her.

But she had to be happy for them. They were her friends.

She had to accept that Sakura will be the one to hold his hands. She will be the one their friends would tease with him, saying he finally got the girl he's been chasing after.

Then, he would buy her flowers, her favorite food and would tell everyone stories of how beautiful and strong she was. He would show the whole world just how much he loved her, because she was his dream and there wouldn't be a single day that she would feel neglected, because he'll always make sure she's special.

When the day went by, she will be the one to kiss him goodnight. She will be the one to live her dreams. Hinata's dreams.

And then for Hinata, she will be drowned on the background amidst it all. Waiting for someone to love her just as much as she loved him.

Truly, purely and unconditionally.

Wondering how long will she wait as though no one could replace him.

"W-What's with you two?!" Ino angrily shouted as she went out from hiding at a corner, eavesdropping all throughout the whole ordeal.

Sakura, blush now dissipating, answered her with a sigh, "I-Ino? Well, I surrender. This knucklehead has been trying so hard already-"

Naruto turned, rubbing his hand at the back of his head, "Uh, yeah, yes. I guess I didn't' get that quite right. I know!"

Kiba, furious at the stupid blonde's comment, revealed himself with Shino, "Just, you, shut the hell up! I know I'm in no position to say this, but I'm keen enough to smell your own bullshit, you, pathetic idiot! ! For these past few months, I thought, I thought that you and… Forget it! You don't deserve that kind of love!"

The loud-mouthed brunette then suddenly noticed a few audience, namely Konohamaru and his team, "The hell?! I couldn't believe this! You even get your own documentation team to record this crap?!"

"Cut! What's wrong with you all? The scene is now going great and now you made it all appear scripted kore!"

"W-Wait, scripted?!" Kiba and Ino simultaneously erupted, shocked and confused at the young boy's complaint.

"Hey, niichan! I thought you hired these two. How come they aren't oriented? Too bad the scene they created is already effective!" Konohamaru demanded, annoyed.

"Ahhh, about that, errr…"

"I really think that won't fit our topic after all. We are supposed to show this at the orphanage. Seriously?" Moegi interjected.

Meanwhile, as realization hit Ino, she sighed and turned to Sakura,

"That explains everything. I thought you two were really going on about it. I didn't really mean to intrude with what's between you guys, but just earlier you were gushing about Sasuke-kun poking your wide as hell forehead like it was the most special thing in the world, then now I'm going to see you like that with Naruto. I just couldn't help it. Well, anyway. I couldn't believe I participated in this kind of weird thing."

Sakura, on the other hand, released a heavy breath and slumped her shoulders forward, "I just couldn’t not do it. I reluctantly accepted this idiot's bet that Sasuke-kun would not allow me to come with him. In exchange, I have to participate in this video thing for the children at the orphanage. I was about to knock him off but he guilt-tripped me with his nindou."

The blonde girl faced the younger ones with much pride and determination, "Well, if you want a better actress, you should've gotten me instead! This billboard-brow surely has no talent aside from punching people in their faces!"

"Hey! What's wrong with strength you Ino-pig…" The two girls fought in the background. On one hand, pissed, but fazed Kiba stood agape, still deciding what to do with the situation and just in time, it was Shino who voiced out his frustration.

"You see, we have a bit of a problem here. Why? It is because Hinata…"

Both girls stopped at bickering and Sakura immediately dropped Ino's collar-off with a grim expression starting to form on their faces, "Hinata!"

Actually, they both didn't hear Shino's words before that, but by just the mention of her name, the two kunoichi identified that a big misunderstanding had been created.

Both of them had been supporting their shy friend all along and even developed several plans behind her back in order to create a moment for Hinata and Naruto to be together.

Sakura was the one more passionate about it as she could reflect her sort-of unreciprocated love for Sasuke-kun to that of Hinata's genuine affection for the still childish and oblivious Naruto. She couldn't just stand that she'd be the reason to cause her friend's faith to waver or even hurt her in any way. She almost make a big damage before and she was not planning to cause anything like that anymore.

"Yeah, where's Hinata? I left to go find Sasuke after she tied my hitai-ate. I was looking for her until Konohamaru bothered me."

The said boy and his gang just watched the exchange with a freaked-out look on their faces, Shino just remained stoic, while Kiba, Ino and Sakura both turned their heads on the blonde's direction.

"Well, Mirai is asleep now. I can feel that she's not the real reason for your visit." Kurenai stated, placing cups of tea for her and her former student.

Silence laid flat between them. Hinata just stared blankly at her cup of tea.

"Kurenai-sensei," Hinata muttered as she called out to the person, whom she considered as a mother after all that happened around her life.

"Hmmm... By looking at you, I could tell this is about a certain blonde boy."

The young girl just gulped dryly, giving away the information to her sensei through the quietness.

"I understand, Hinata. I am right and it's all about that dreamy boy, isn't it? Ah, young love, fragile, fickle and difficult to understand. Intense and overwhelming emotions." Kurenai finished with a humble yet prim smile. Memories of the past appearing before her eyes.

"I remember back then, it was the same with Asuma. We were really close friends and I started to harbor a different kind of feeling for him. He didn't notice that at first. He was the Hokage's son and he had a lot of admirers surrounding him as well. I couldn't avoid but feel confused and frustrated. There was a lot of questions and the emotion got only stronger, because I was not able to fully express it and show it. Then the more we became closer, the more I wanted to hear him say the words I've been longing for… I thought it would be right, but it wasn't."

Kurenai took a sip from her cup of tea as she further relive the past with her deceased beloved husband.

"It wasn't, Hinata. There came a time when we were both so near each other. In his eyes, I could see sincerity and it was as if the world was pulling us close together. At that moment, I felt scared. I felt scared that he'll tell me he was feeling the same way, because…I wouldn't believe him. Not because he didn't show me, but because I realized that I wasn't ready for that and he wasn't yet either."

"Kurenai-sensei…" Hinata tilted her head up and serenely looked at her former teacher.

"I was relieved when he got flustered and laughed his embarrassment away. Love, Hinata, is not about finding someone who completes you, it's about having someone who complements you, someone who will fit who you are not with what he is."

Hinata tried to unravel the message beneath Kurenai-sensei's words. The older woman seemed to notice this leading her to guide Hinata's head above her shoulder. Right at the spot, her student gave in and cried her heart out, pouring all the stirring hurt inside.

"You and Naruto are both so young. You still have a lot more to discover about yourselves outside the war. I bet he was just as confused as you are."

She stayed at her teacher's arms, washing down all the thoughts running in her mind. Silent water runs deep and the same can be said to Hinata. Her calm and unassuming personality had won a thousand rejections and degradations form other people and especially her father.

But this.

This was something new to her. Although she wasn't really expecting him to return her feelings, she never thought it would be like this. And it wasn't because he finally found another nor was because Hinata thought Sakura-chan was better, it was something else. And that something else certainly was the essence behind Kurenai-sensei's message.

After regaining her composure, Hinata got conscious and took awareness of the time and started to make her way to farewell.

"Thank you, Kurenai-sensei. I know I took your time and-"

Her teacher waved off, "No, no, anytime, Hinata. Anytime, I'll be here for you."

The young girl gave a curt bow and proceeded to depart until her sensei stopped her.

"Naruto..." Hinata stopped at Kurenai's word, "He dropped by with Kiba and Shino a while ago. He was looking for you. Well that kid, he seemed to be angry, sad and nervous all at the same time."

"Oh," Hinata paused for a moment before she continued, "Thank you, Kurenai-sensei. I'll bring something for Mirai-chan next time I'll visit."

Hinata subconsciously avoided her usual path going to home. Her head was tilted down while she walked and missed the beautiful sun that was about to set, until she bumped her head. The scent was familiar and a loud bang of nervousness dropped against her chest.

"Hinata! Where have you bee-"

Though her eyes couldn't betray her, she forced a smile and turned to him, "Congratulations to you and Sakura-chan, Naruto-kun!"

Tears were now triggering to fall, but it was cut by the blonde's aggressive denial.

"No! No! It's not like that at all -ttebayo! Ah, err, it was actually for Konohamaru's project and he wanted to experiment with his new video cam thing. So! Be-between Sakura-chan and I... There was nothing! Nothing between us!"

Naruto had been vocal about his admiration for his teammate ever since he was younger, but there was something about Hinata's presence now that made him clarify things a bit desperately.

With the truth now vivid before her, Hinata gave into the weight of her knees and sat down on the grass. But before she wash herself with relief, she must ask him one thing. Although she wasn't known to be bold, she knew it was something necessary for her to ask.

"But you love Sakura-chan, right?"

Quite taken aback, he muttered back, "Yeah, but-"

"She loves Sasuke-kun." She said it calmly, but deep inside she was beginning to hurt.

"Mhmm," It was a tone in agreement and Hinata could see sadness in his expression through her peripheral vision. She took a brave inhale and started to stand up, but he sat beside her.

"When I was younger, Sakura-chan was the prettiest girl I knew. She liked Sasuke. Well, why the hell did everyone liked that teme? But among everyone, she was the most determined to be acknowledged by him that's why she stood out, that's why I felt we were the same and that's why I liked her."

Hinata just sat there frozen. It hurt. Everyone in her shoe would hurt to hear this. Self-torturous, yes. But perhaps, she needed to know this, she needed to hear the truth. Hinata may love Naruto deeply, but after all the desertion she had undergone with her family, she would not stand to be a substitute for someone else.

"A lot of things happened and the more I noticed their growing closeness to each other. Time passed and Sasuke left the village. It hurt me, but it hurt her the most and I just know I must bring him back. Years gone by and I trained with Pervy-sage and she's the only girl close to me. I convinced myself that I have to prove and make her see that I'm better than Sasuke. Then, the village started to acknowledge me and even her..."

Naruto looked at the horizon. The sun painting its ripples with orange and yellow hues.

"Then, she told me she loves me. I thought it was just a joke. I kept on asking why did I think it was just a joke. If I was younger, I would totally fall for that. But I saw right through it and I realized that something's changed."

The blonde must have realized that he'd been telling her a lot already and got agitated. "Ah! I-I'm so sorry, Hinata. I didn't mean to bother you, uh, it's just uh, I find it comfortable talking to you, being like this, and, uh,…Never mind! Never mind at all!" He looked at her searching, if everything's all right.

"It's okay, Naruto-kun," she needed to hear him out for her peace of mind anyway.

Naruto sighed and continued, "Actually, I was genuinely happy for the both them and that's the point! I should feel hurt, right? But there's nothing, none. Everytime Sakura-chan rejected me, there's just that. I grew out of that feeling and all's left was nothing…Nothing. That's why I know there's something missing."

Hinata noticed his crestfallen expression.

"If there's anything, that's…I'm insecure. I wish I could feel...Just how it feels like. I wish I know." He, then, turned sullenly dreamy, "Everything, you know. Even the bad feeling?" Naruto pouted. He was certainly being uncool in front of her.

The pale-eyed girl was left speechless. How odd was it that he wanted to feel what she just felt a while ago? Now, she remembered his troubled childhood. The lack of love, acceptance and acknowledgment.

This was what probably Kurenai-sensei's message was about.

Discovering other parts of ourselves.

"I see…" She muttered, not knowing what to feel.

Naruto chuckled nervously upon seeing her reaction, "Well, yeah, I still love Sakura-chan, but it was different! I just couldn't pass up with the opportunity to embarrass her sometimes and it's sort of became a habit."

Why was he explaining like this?

"But it was really different! Different from how I saw that look on kaa-chan and tou-chan whenever they remember each other. Although, I've met them for only a short period of time, what they had…was really different. Ah! Tch! I really wanted you to meet them. I'm sure they will like you -ttebayo!"

She blushed at his eagerness to meet his parents, no matter if it was no longer a possibility. There was also a part of her that felt relieved as she still got chance to, at least, let him know how she felt when she's finally ready.

All of a sudden, she remembered how pathetic she overthought, tapped her forehead repetitively and sighed. "Silly, I'm very silly."

"Yeah! That's right! I've been looking around Konoha for you dattebayo! I told you I'll be coming back, but you were gone in a zap when I returned." He complained and pouted, leaving out the part that he was subconsciously anxious that she might have misinterpreted that scene with Sakura-chan, which lead him to evaluate his current sentiments towards his teammate.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Naruto-kun I..."

"It's fine, it's fine. Shino already explained it to me, uh, by the way!" He said as he reached out to her a can of Oshiruko. "Sakura-chan told me that you might be having a moment. And I thought that moment thing isn't really nice. I saw this Oshiruko on the vending machine and remembered you liked it..."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head habitually, "I couldn't afford a zenzai, but it's similar so..."

She returned the can to him and stated, "You-you don't really have to, Naruto-kun."

"Ah, it's no good, huh?" Naruto's smile fell. He just wanted to cheer her up with all his best intentions. However, in its naive and simplest form, she unknowingly rejected him and he didn't feel great about it.

Hinata, as emphatic as ever, noticed his glumness and it was just in her nature to never let the people she considered as precious to feel neglected. "I-I think it would be nice if we would have a drink together."

Naruto instantly lit up and pulled out Gama-chan, unfortunately he didn't have enough as he already used his penny to buy instant ramen for dinner.

"Hi-Hinata I..."

She was giggling at him and stood up, approaching the nearest vending machine. "It's fine, Naruto-kun. I could buy one for myself."

And there, there's something about her statement that made her feel like she was getting close to what Kurenai-sensei was talking about.

In the end, Naruto's protest didn't reach her and they both ended up sitting and watching as the moon take over the sky. He told her how Sasuke blushed, when he thought no one was looking, before leaving Sakura-chan and how he convinced the reluctant Konohamaru to cast Lee instead. They shared a few innocent laughs. She shyly met his stare and he absent-mindedly snuck several side glances at her.

Hinata drew a heavy exhale. She never thought growing up would be this tumultuous. She never fully unraveled her sensei's message, but in time, just as Kurenai-sensei said, she will.

On the other hand, Naruto looked at the space on the grass where they were seated. He, then, looked at her—she was smiling peacefully at the sky. It was so serene that he was guilelessly moved into closing that sweet little distance between them—arms now touching each other.

He turned his focus into the sky, staring and admiring the moon as his head remembered her name.

Hinata.

"Y-yes?" She looked at him with tilted head, leaving Naruto flustered.

"O-oh! What! What?"

"Y-you called out for me."

I said that out loud?

[silverfootstepswrites]

Butterfly [30]

summary Welcome and thanks

“But why can’t you just get a job in Tokyo?" Shisui questioned. As he spoke, he pulled the long spoon out of the ice cream parfait. He plucked the long, cigar-shaped cookie out of the glass. Chewing on the tip, he stared at Itachi. Itachi sipped his green tea, saying nothing.

“Also. Follow-up question: Why do you hate me?” Shisui went on.

Itachi set his cup down. “Nii-san,” he sighed.

“Oh no. Don’t worry about me. I just love and care for you. I teach how to shave-”

“My father taught me how to shave.”

“How to tie your shoes-”

“My mom did that.”

“How to drive-”

“And almost got us killed.”

Shisui’s eyes narrowed. “So you do hate me,” he accused.

“....Clearly that’s it,” laughed Itachi, shaking his head.

“Why’re you moving?” Shisui asked again. He took a bite of his ice cream.

“It’s like I told my parents. I think the change will be good for me. I’ve never lived outside the city before. It’ll be a learning experience to be on my own for a bit,” answered Itachi. 

Shisui raised an eyebrow while he chewed on a slice of strawberry. Itachi handed him a napkin. 

“So. That’s the bullshit answer you gave to Ba-san and Ji-san, huh?” remarked Shisui. And then he demanded, “So what’s really up?”

“It’s not bullshit,” insisted Itachi. Shisui’s eyebrow only rose higher. 

Itachi let out a sigh. He crossed one leg over the other, avoiding Shisui’s persistent stare. And finally, he opened his mouth again.

“...I just... don’t want to be reminded of everything I can’t see anymore,” Itachi admitted, still avoiding Shisui’s eyes. The only thing that answered was the clink of Shisui’s spoon against his glass. 

“Like I can’t walk past anything without remembering how it used to look to me. It’s just...” Itachi trailed off, rubbing his face with both his hands. He put his elbows up on the table. 

Shisui set his spoon down. Licked a drop of ice cream off his thumb. Itachi peered at him from between his fingers. 

“You really think moving’ll make you feel better?” asked Shisui. He rested his chin on his fist. 

“It won’t make me feel worse,” replied Itachi. 

Shisui leaned back in his seat, stretching his arms high over his head. And then he let his arms drape over the sides of the chair, sliding low in his seat. Until his chin touched his chest.

“Well. You still suck. And I hate you for leaving me. But.... it makes sense, I guess,” concluded Shisui. 

Itachi had found out about the little town of Konoha through his advisor. 

“Do you know the name Iwano Deidara?” his advisor queried. 

“His senior project was that big statue on the quad. The bird,” Itachi replied. It was a massive piece that was several meters tall. He was a school legend, known as the ceramics department’s genius. 

“So, he was working in a small town in the countryside as an art teacher,” his advisor went on. Itachi must have made a face because his advisor sighed. He ran his hand through his red hair going silver at the temples. 

“Iwano-san’s father was diagnosed with cancer. So he moved out there to be with him,” the advisor added. Itachi nodded. 

“Apparently he was just arrested for setting the school on fire,” the advisor went on. Itachi’s eyes widened. His advisor flapped a hand at him.

“It was small. No one got hurt. I’m not surprised, frankly. He was always a little too... avant garde in my opinion.” 

“I see,” was all Itachi could think to say. 

“Anyway, I hear you were looking into finding a teaching job. They’re hiring,” his advisor concluded. 

“....Are you sure they’d want another alum from this school.... given their past... fiery experience?” Itachi tried to word his concern with some delicacy. His advisor snorted. He leaned forward to straighten the nameplate sitting on the edge of his desk. 

“I was in touch with the principal. She said that it was the most exciting thing that’s happened to them in years. They didn’t seem too upset by the whole ordeal,” his advisor assured him. Smirking a little at the memory.

“Anyway, Uchiha-kun, why don’t you send them a resume? See what happens?”

And a month later, Itachi was standing at the train station. He unfolded the map he had studied on the long ride over. With just a messenger bag, he headed in the direction of the high school. Which, for some untenable reason, sat on top of a mountain in the center of town. He regretted not listening to Shisui’s nagging to exercise when he’d had a chance. He took his time to make sure he wouldn’t arrive to the interview drenched in sweat or looking like  madman. Which he shouldn’t have worried about because his interview wasn’t really an interview.

“We want to hire you,” the principal declared almost as soon as he sat down. 

“Oh,” said Itachi. 

He vaguely remembered being a little worried. But somehow, he was signing his contract and someone was stamping the official paperwork. Less than two hours later, he was sitting in a bar. Someone pushed a beer into his hand. 

“To Uchiha-sensei. Welcome!” the principal declared. 

The other teachers cheered, crowding forward to clink their glass against his. He bowed awkwardly at them, still a little unsure of what had just transpired.  He took a sip of his drink to be polite. 

Food arrived at their table. People began piling his plate high with fried chicken and edamame. He bowed at them again.

“Welcome, Uchiha-sensei. I’m Hatake Kakashi. I teach history,” a silver-haired man greeted, reaching across the table. Itachi shook his hand, still a little more than dazed. 

“This is Sarutobi Asuma, he’s our gym teacher. And next to him is the lovely Sarutobi Kurenai. She teaches math,” Kakashi began, gesturing to each person as he spoke. Itachi tried his best to pay attention. But by the time Kakashi had gone around the table, Itachi had forgotten everyone’s names, including the silver-haired man who was speaking. 

The man sitting to Itachi’s right nudged him with his elbow. 

“Did the boss-lady hire you in like... five seconds?” he inquired. Itachi nodded. And the other man smirked.

“Did the same thing to me. She’s a little crazy, but she’s a good person,” he assured Itachi. Itachi smiled.

“Thank you.... uh...”

“Nara Shikamaru. Don’t worry about remembering my name. This whole crew’ll be so drunk in a bit that they won’t remember either,” Shikamaru assured him. That made Itachi laugh. Shikamaru clicked his glass against Itachi’s and they both took a sip. 

As the night wore on, Itachi learned that the intimate atmosphere of the gathering wasn’t him just being paranoid. 

“I grew up in this town. These old farts used to be my teachers,” Shikamaru told him. 

“He loved us so much that he couldn’t stay away,” Asuma interrupted, popping up on the opposite side of Shikamaru. His back to Asuma, Shikamaru widened his eyes, shaking his head just a little. Itachi took a sip of his beer to hide his chuckle. 

During a lull in the conversation, Itachi looked around the bar. It was a modest place with a TV mounted in the corner above the bar. It played a news channel with the volume muted. The shelves behind the bar were stocked with a surprisingly varied selection of bottles. Shikamaru had already explained the home economics teacher was married to the owner of the bar and so she helped out at night. She popped in and out of the kitchen, occasionally sitting down to chat. 

There were photos decorating the walls. It looked like some of the teachers were in them, arms thrown around each other, eyes squinting into crescent moons. But there was a poster hanging by the front door that didn’t quite fit in with the faded polaroids. It was blue with a name in big kanji. Itachi took a few steps toward it, squinting in the dim light. He realized that it was of a woman wearing a glittering white outfit, one hand on her chest, the other raised high above her head. She wore a crown of flowers

“Oh! This is rare,” Shikamaru remarked. Itachi turned around to find Shikamaru looking down at his phone. It vibrated against the table, screen lighting up. 

“What? A woman?” Asuma asked, leaning over his shoulder. But his eyes popped open too. He leaned on Shikamaru as Shikamaru answered.

“Hey! It’s been a while,” said Shikamaru, a smile brightening his face. He paused. And then he snorted. 

“Yeah. Ok. We don’t miss you at all,” he retorted. 

The smaller pockets of conversation around the table quieted as the teachers nudged one another. 

“Is it-?”

“I think it is!” they whispered. 

Shikamaru grimaced, teeth clenching. He drew in a sharp breath, free hand rising to rub the back of his neck. 

“Oh..... uh.... y-yeah. Well... congrats,” he fumbled out. 

Everyone leaned in closer, scrutinizing Shikamaru’s expression. But Itachi lingered by the door, baffled by whatever everyone else seemed to know as they exchanged pointed looks. 

“Of course. I’ll let everyone know. Yeah. Good luck,” Shikamaru concluded before he ended the call. And then he sat there, staring at his phone. 

Everyone watched Shikamaru. Waiting. 

“What is it?” Asuma finally demanded.

Shikamaru swallowed down the rest of his beer before he spoke again.

“Haruno’s getting married.”

“WHAT?!” the exclamation came from everyone around the room. Including the bar’s other patrons. 

“When?” asked Kurenai.

“Today,” replied Shikamaru.

“HUH?!” the chorus was even louder this time. 

“Yeah, she says she’s in Michigan, wherever that is. Told me she’d send pictures later,” Shikamaru reported. And, Itachi thought, he looked a little upset at that. 

“Who’s she marrying?” wondered Kakashi. 

“Good question,” muttered Shikamaru. Scratching his head, he twisted toward the bar. 

Itachi looked around the room. And then back at the poster by the door. He squinted at the kanji. If he read it one way, it seemed to read ‘Haruno’. But as he scrutinized her face, he had the feeling that he’d seen it somewhere before.

Conversation gradually resumed. Itachi leaned toward Kakashi. 

“Who’s everyone talking about?” he queried in a soft voice. Kakashi chuckled. Pulling his face mask down, he took a slurp of his drink. 

“Let me get Orochimaru-sensei for you. He’s better at explaining than I am,” Kakashi replied before he called to the science teacher sitting further down the table. 

The time in Konoha seemed to go by more slowly than in Tokyo. But that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

 At first, some things had felt odd. People greeting him on the streets all knew his name. And it seemed that everyone knew everyone else’s business. But other than that, the intimacy of the town was nice in its own way. 

“Sensei, you’re looking a little thin. Here,” the lady selling steamed buns would say, stuffing two extra ones into the bag. 

“These are some radishes from my dad’s field,” Asuma would say, showing up randomly at his apartment. A basket stuffed with the white vegetables held in his arms. 

The other teachers made it abundantly clear that he wasn’t just welcome at their after-school gatherings. He was necessary. And it was a little funny. How they all rearranged themselves to make a spot for him. Like he had always belonged in their group. Soon, there were pictures of him decorating the walls of Genma’s bar. 

The most surprising thing was his new job. The first day of classes, he had shown up. And the kids sat in the class, staring at him. Just waiting.

“Okay. So I’m your art teacher,” Itachi announced. 

Dead silence answered him. 

Still, when he instructed them to copy down the diagrams on the board, everyone did so. The first few weeks of class went like this. He taught them perspective and shading. They drew bowls of fruit with charcoal. The scratch of their media against the paper filling the room. Other than saying “good afternoon” and “goodbye”, the students didn’t really speak to him. Itachi had come to accept that this was the way things would go all year.

And then, about a month into the school year, one of the boys declared, “Sensei, this is my favorite class.”

A few of his classmates nodded. Itachi lowered his charcoal. Pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, he peered past his easel to look at the class. They stared back at him. 

“What? Why?” Itachi demanded. The boy who had spoken thought for a moment.

“I don’t know. You’re just chill. And this stuff is actually kind of fun,” he said. 

“Yeah, Sensei. The other classes we just sit there and listen. Your class is kind of cool,” someone else piped up.

He turned back to his easel and resumed drawing. He was thankful that the big drawing pad hid the blush that rose to his cheeks. 

“I see. Well... I’m glad you’re having fun,” Itachi replied. 

End Part 6

[utsus]

NaruHina prompt: Naruto's old T-shirt.

AO3

“Be safe,” she whispered, pressing her lips against histemple. “Fight hard.”

“Hinata,” he breathed, the only word his lungs could find,her name a solace and a servitude, both. He drew her in closer, felt the heat of her,pressed his lips against her hair.

“Let’s go,”someone shouted, voice deep and ragged, a veteran in charge. There was a chorusof them, Naruto realized, an echo of destitution along the gates. They soundedso weary, so tired. “Let’s go.”

Naruto drew away from Hinata, his eyes moving across herfeatures, drinking her in. He wanted to remember her like this, in this moment,the light of dawn cresting over her cheekbones, the breeze toying with the endsof her mussed hair. Sunlight spilled over her, turned the ragged rust of his frayedshirt a brighter and more familiar shade of orange. Like the sunrise, she’d said, then laughed, or the sunset.

That had been so long ago—how old had they been, the firsttime he’d woken up to the sound of her moving things around in his kitchen,wearing nothing but that ugly orange shirt? He couldn’t remember—but he couldpicture the exact moment he saw her, hair piled atop her head, the hem of hisshirt grazing over her supple thighs. The smell of green tea, a hint of honey.The sound of her voice as she turned to him, morning light pooling over her,magnetic and mesmerizing.

Did you sleep well?

“I’ll come back,” Naruto promised, uncaring of the shoutsgrowing faint with distance, (let’s go,let’s go), proof that he was already falling behind. He heard only his ownwords and found the tremble in them, the pitfall, the possibilities of whatcould follow I’ll come back—

He wouldn’t say alive.He said, “I’ll come back soon.”

Hinata was stronger than he was. She didn’t tremble, didn’tshake. A single tear slipped over the elegance of her cheekbone, to thesoftened line of her jaw. She reached out to him, ran her thumb along thecorner of his lips, a familiar and comforting gesture. She smiled, and he knewit was for him in just the same waythat one recognizes their own home; with warmth and comfort and love.

Hinata moved towards him, onto the tips of her toes. Shepulled at his nape until their foreheads touched, and flinched when anothershout coursed over them. The fading time left for them to be together becamemore and more noticeable, until it was a palpable thing between them. Peoplewere already returning to the village, to their lives, having already sent offtheir loved ones. There were only a few people left lingering, pressed close,whispering quietly to one another. Hinata closed her eyes.

“Make it a promise,” she whispered, and Naruto’s heartlurched, ached, pounded. Never before had his ribs felt more like a cage. Narutomoved closer, pressed their lips together, tasted the salt of her skin, a single teartrack over her lips. He brushed it away with his thumb, watched the way hereyes came open to stare up into his. Sunrise, sunset, that disheveled shirt ofhis that she so loved to wear lit the perimeter of his vision bright, bright orange.

“It was, it is,”He whispered at last, pressing the words against her lips. “I stand by what Isay.”

Time snapped between them, a broken thing, and they parteduntil the air between them was sodden and heavy with it.

Naruto was an optimistic person; always had been, alwayswould be. But even someone as bright and full of hope as he was could stillfeel doubt, and uncertainty. It was in that moment that that uncertainty struckout at him, made him think, if this isthe last time that I see her—

There, in his ugly shirt, with pillow lines still creased onher cheek from his bedsheets and theheart she so freely gave to him pushing heat into her cheeks, he thought—

“Stay safe, Hinata,” he said, instead. He forced himself tosound certain. “Work hard.”

Hinata lifted her chin even as tears began to fall evenly,her fingers gripping the hem of his shirt against her thigh. She nodded once,definitively, and Naruto turned away from her.

He did not allow himself to look back. He caught up to the otheryoung people being sent to the front lines of a war they had a hand in starting,and he did not look back.

He looked ahead, and yet all he could see was—

Sunrise. Sunset.

✧

“There has to be another way.”

“I’m trying to tell you,” Nara Shikamaru sighed, pushing ata line of tension along his forehead. His hologram body shimmered in the spaceof Naruto’s war tent, the fizz of static a comforting distraction from the hushof war outside his poorly constructed walls. “This plan has the least amount ofcasualties.”

Naruto gritted his teeth. Not for the first time, herepeated himself.

“Even one casualty is too many.”

Shikamaru’s sigh came even before the sentence fully leftNaruto’s lips. He shook his head, mixed parts exasperated and wearisome.

“You’re so troublesome.It’s a wonder you’ve done so well there, truly,” Shikamaru lamented, “With amindset more naïve than a Genin.”

Naruto didn’t stiffen at the jab, didn’t back down. Hepushed harder, no punches held.

“It’s this naïve mindset that we’re fighting for, day in andday out. Even one life is too great a loss for us to be okay with, Shikamaru.”

His head consultant’s face pinched in just the way that it didwhen his mother scolded him. Naruto didn’t take the time to draw the line frompoint A to point B and realize he’d just mentally compared himself to Shikamaru’smother.

“Fine,” Shikamaru groused, “Say we go along with your plan.What are we going to do about the civilians? You can’t just burst through thefront door with Rasen-Shuriken in hand, Naruto. You’d level their village.”

“Nah,” Naruto agreed, “No bursting in, no Rasen-Shuriken.Just me, a couple hundred more of me, one of my generals, and her battalion.”

“Just walking right in the front door.”

“Yes.”

“Where everyone in the village, civilian, spy, and stationedbattalion can see you coming. From at least a mile away.”

“This way,” Naruto hedged, “It’s fair. They’ll come to fightus before we reach the village gates. When we get there, we can offer aid tothe civilians there, if they need it. If they want it.”

Naruto’s expression darkened, became storm clouds roilingover an open plain, freckled and jaded with scars.

“We will not do what was done to Rain country.” His voicewas an unsheathed sword, the first glimmer of steel out of the scabbard, anunabashed warning. His posture was a reckoning. He met Shikamaru’s hologrameyes without blinking, jaw tight, and said, “If the people of this country don’twant us here and don’t want our aid or supplies, we will leave. We will notforce them. We might be helping, but they have the power here. I won’t standfor anyone trying to take that from them.”

“Sheesh,” Shikamaru sighed, shifting his weight. Somewherebehind him Naruto heard the distinct sound of pages turning, the rustling of manyactively doing research. “I know that. We’re on the same page, Naruto. All ofus are. It was these people who wroteto us for aid, so that they wouldn’t be wiped off the map, remember?”

The weight of Naruto’s heavy shoulders lightened, allowedhim to bow where before he had stood sharp and tall. “Yeah,” he laughed, withsome humor to it. “Yeah I remember. Just wanted to make sure.”

Shikamaru’s eyes softened, sympathetic. “I know thissituation reminds you of—ah, hell.”

Shikamaru scuffed his foot on the floor, threading his handstogether behind his head in a gesture that was somehow an expression of comfortand discomfort both. He wasn’t fond of this, intimate discussions outside ofduty and strategy, and this was more troublesome than most. Still, because hecould see the way Naruto swayed, could see twin groaning shadows under his eyes,the way that war had move through him with barbed edges, catching and stealing,he persisted. “She would be proud of the way you’re handling this. This villageis only slightly smaller than Whirlpool had been, after all.”

Naruto was silent for a long time, his eyes heavy. Hisfingers twisted unconsciously into the fabric of his pants, right at histhighs. “Yeah,” he finally said, lower than usual. He thought of a frame,cracked and dusty, squared away inside of four walls under the sun he calledhome. A family. A woman. Red hair, his eyes. “I guess this place feels a bitmore personal. Because of that.”

He hadn’t even really realized it until Shikamaru said itoutright—too focused on strategy and keeping his friends and those innocentpeople caught between the fight alive. But Shikamaru had a mind that saweverything, everything, and this,too, factored into his planning. Naruto might never have put the piecestogether so precisely, and realized that this little village under siege remindedhim of Whirlpool.

Of his mother, and the little that he did know about her.

Shikamaru allowed him a moment of consideration, a rarepensive mood for their young Commander. He cleared his throat, and Naruto’sgaze caught his once more. His body wrapped itself back into cords of strength,armor of muscle and bone and human will.

“Your plan will work,” Shikamaru admitted slowly, bringingthem back to the issue at hand. “You just thought about keeping the civilianssafe and furthest from the actual fighting, but I know the way our enemythinks. They’re arrogant enough to meet us there. They will meet us there. The only question is if you have enough forcesto meet them.”

“We sure do,” Naruto said, tone lilting slightly, justenough to catch Shikamaru’s attention and hold it. Naruto’s smile was a tiredthing, but humor still had the power to lift it. “I have a surprise for them.”

“More surprising than three hundred of you?”

Naruto laughed lowly, crossing his arms over his chest. “Yeah,that trick’s old hand, by now.”

At that, Shikamaru seemed to somehow grow even more disgruntledthan before. Naruto grinned, though.

“I have Rock Lee.”

Shikamaru’s eyes brightened, his lips quirkingquestioningly, as if asking for more information without ever having to saythe words.

Naruto explained it all.

✧

Even as a young boy, Naruto had known he’d rise through theranks. He’d planned on it. No onebecame the Hokage by being complacent in their position in life. They jumped atchallenges, they changed the world.

He just never expected to have to rise so quickly. He didn’t have a mind forcomplex strategy, but he had a will of pure, living fire that managed to burnits way through impossible odds and straight to victory. His unit triumphedunder his bravery and encouragement, and when his battalion’s decade-longgeneral fell, it was Naruto they appointed in his place.

They tried to rise him up; offered him new dwellings, betteraccommodations, more rations. Naruto insisted his tent remain with the warparty, no larger or more lavish than any other. He got used to receiving reportfrom people older than himself, and tried his best to utilize those around himso as to prevent as many losses as possible. Victory was always there in hismind, but it was protectiveness that stole the forefront. These were his people. Good people. He would not failthem.

But damned if it wasn’t exhausting.

“Sir?”

Naruto stirred, refocusing on the shinobi before him. He wasyounger even than Naruto, with a new scar forming through his chin, bright andangry. His report had been perfectly organized, more so than Naruto could everdream to replicate. Naruto’s eyes dropped to the boy’s hands, saw the tremorsin his fingers. Exhaustion, not fear.

“Sorry,” Naruto laughed, a forced effort. He rubbedpassively at his nape, his fingernails still caked with dirt, dried skin.Blood. “Thanks for the info. I’ll try to put it to good use, believe it.”

“Oh, I’m sure you will,” the young man offered. He soundedreassuring, as though he thought Naruto had thought he’d been looking down onNaruto for not paying attention earlier. Tension pooled in Naruto’s temples. Hewas overthinking things. He tried to offer up a smile, knew it looked forced,but the young man returned one as true as rain anyways. It stretched the skinof his chin, accentuated the budding scar there.

“Hey, don’t forget we have a medic’s tent,” Naruto remindedhim, softening his tone so it didn’t sound like an order. His smile was alittle more heartfelt when it lifted and he added, “You should stop by and askHinata to check on you. It’s important to keep yourself healthy out here, seriously,and even if you wanna keep the scar, you might wanna let her give you a fullcheck-up. Nothing wrong with making sure you’re healthy before you head out withlives depending on you.”

The young man hesitated, eyes searching Naruto’s. Something Narutosaid made his shoulders bow, and the soft curl of the young man’s lips was fullof pity. He said, “Sir,” ever politely, “Did you mean Hana? Our chief medic?”

Naruto blinked at the boy. His mind was already racing overnew plans and orders again and the tension in his temples had turned into afull-blown looming migraine. He couldn’t remember what he’d had to eat letalone if he’d said something that didn’t make sense.

The boy’s smile grew in shades, growing less in pity andmore of amusement, as though he was in on some joke Naruto didn’t understand orwas just too tired to get.

The young man saved him the effort of asking him what thehell was going on by nodding his head with a single bubble of muted laughter. “Yes,yes,” he said, “I’ll go see the medic. And sir, not to step out of line, butyou should try to get some sleep.”

Naruto smiled, eyes growing heavy. “Will do,” he agreed,though sleep seemed so far away he wasn’t even sure if he could properly spellit at the moment. The young man bobbed his head and made his way, presumablyoff to the medic tent as Naruto had encouraged. Naruto watched him go withcuriosity still pooling within him, wondering at his blunder. The young man liftedthe flap of Naruto’s tent and the morning light caught his hair, turned it toflame.

Auburn. Orange.

Naruto took one last look at the map laid out in front ofhim and pushed away from the table, over to his makeshift futon. He collapsedon top of it with a gust of a sigh, praying for a moment of peace, of respite.He sat up straight a moment later when he heard a far off crash, and then theecho of someone apologizing. He relaxed minutely, shaking his head and reachingup to rub at his temples. He let his head fall, dangling between his forearms,fingers pushing through his hair. It was longer now. He closed his eyes andimagined smaller fingers pushing through the strands, gently massaging hisscalp.

His eyes opened heavily, the ache within him growing. Hereached under his futon and pulled the envelope he kept solely for her into hislap. He thumbed through several letters, re-reading and re-reading letters he’dre-read countless times before, her cute looping scrawl, his jagged scratchesbeneath.

He flipped through pictures she’d sent, of herself in theirhome, their bed, his shirt. Theirs, too, he thought with amusement.

The most recent correspondence with Hinata had not come fromHinata herself, but Iruka. It was a photograph of Hinata, candid and real,blurred in one edge. Her hair was up and pulled back, her eyebrows pinched asshe gently introduced healing chakra into an injured child’s system. The greenlight of it reflected off of her skin, caught mistily in her eyes. Her clotheswere ragged, her hair messy. He knew without Iruka’s letter of explanation thatHinata was working tirelessly at a village hospital near Konoha, where refugeeswere funneled to be treated. Her time would be split, if the war continued on.She was too valuable a healer to send to the front lines when so many refugeesrequired aid so close to home.

The front lines were already covered well enough, though,with Sakura there.

Should the war continue, Hinata would undeniably be sent tothe front lines somewhere. This was not conjecture; she had been briefed beforehe’d left, and explained it to him simply. She would go to war, too. Just notwith him.

Naruto touched the still image of her face, poised inconcentration. The edges of the photo were already worn from touch, fromoveruse. He found comfort in knowing she was working hard near home, that shewas safe. Those had been his only demands of her. Stay safe. Work hard. Shewas keeping her promises.

And he loved her.

He loved her and he’d made her a promise, too.

And he intended on keeping it.

(Sunrise. Sunset.)