#i post there but mostly when i have something 2 say to irls

[pansyfemme]

i think i may hate instagram the most out of all the social medias i use its so fucking boring i cant stay on there for more than 5 minutes. thats probably a good thing but like if it wasnt for it being the most reliable for following irl friends (and a lot of visual artists i like) i would never use that fucking app it puts me to sleep

[yumeka-sxf]

I try to stay away from negative topics, but after hearing talk on social media yesterday and seeing this post from @such-a-downer, I just had to give my two cents about the complaints regarding yesterday's chapter being "another short mission" and that Endo is somehow being "lazy" or whatever.

I honestly don't understand this mentality of criticizing manga-ka, or any artists really, because they aren't delivering by whatever standards you personally think are appropriate. To me, it just seems like entitlement because Endo has no obligation to cater to any specific fan's wants. This is his story to tell the way he wants, and his characters to develop at the pace he deems fit. This isn't a business contract where we're paying him to deliver content we want every two weeks without fail. If I'm consuming the fruits of someone's creative labor for free, I certainly feel no right to complain if sometimes their content isn't what I wanted or expected. I'm fine with that because 1) I know it's what they (the creator) wanted/needed at the time, and 2) even if a particular chapter wasn't my cup of tea, I know other fellow fans out there somewhere are enjoying the heck out of it, and that's cool!

We also have to remember that SxF is basically a one-man show. If Endo is busy or sick or whatever, it's not like he can have someone fill in for him to write and draw the series. That's what a hiatus is for, that's what making a short chapter instead of a longer one is for...that's how artists should be treated so they don't get burned out and stressed. Plus, art shouldn't be rushed. Any artist knows that there are times when you have trouble coming up with ideas and maybe need a little extra time to develop a more complex section of the story. To immediately jump to conclusions that he's lazy or doesn't know what he's doing is ridiculous. Maybe he didn't feel good for a few days, maybe he's been busy with other SxF events, maybe he just needed more time to get a particular future arc developed, or maybe he just has basic IRL obligations to take care of like we all do...you don't know what's going on in his life, so don't make assumptions.

Another thing to keep in mind is that it's literally impossible to please every fan. One of the comments I read for example, someone was ready to drop the series because we haven't seen much of Yor in "a while." All I could think of was "didn't she just have a pretty big role only four chapters ago when they went to the ski resort?" Plus she was the star of chapter 91, which was less than ten chapters ago. So according to this person's standards, four chapters without seeing a particular character is "too long"? What if it was only three chapters, would that be acceptable? It's not right to push our own personal standards of a series' pacing as the "correct" way: some people want to see more of character X while someone else wants to see more of subplot Y, so should both complain that the manga-ka isn't doing right whenever they focus on something else? I'm not saying you shouldn't make criticisms of a manga-ka's work, but the criticisms should come from within the narrative itself, not superficial things like chapters focusing on subplots/characters you don't want to see or not having enough "plot-advancing" content when it's not a plot-focused series.

People who have read SxF up to this point should know the general flow of the chapters: mostly slice-of-life episodic, with more plot-heavy, intense arcs once in a while, like the cruise arc and bus arc. It's an ensemble series that spends most of its chapters focused on at least one of the Forgers, but occasionally other characters here and there. That's how the series has been for years and will likely continue to be. So if you keep complaining because you only like the dramatic story arcs and not the "nothing happens" episodic chapters, then maybe the series just isn't for you. It's totally fine if that's the case, but don't act like Endo is doing something wrong because he's not providing the particular thing you want in his story.

To summarize, Endo has no obligation to cater to particular fans' standards, just as we have no obligation to keep reading his work if we don't like it. But being a fan to me means respecting the creator's pace and vision even if it's not always what I personally want. I can find something to enjoy in every chapter because I'm a fan of SxF, not a fan of one particular aspect of it. But I also will not complain every time my tastes aren't being catered to and will simply occupy myself with other things while I wait. What's the big hurry, after all? I'm in no rush for SxF to wrap up its plot and I'm glad Endo isn't rushing either.

And that's all I'm gonna say about this topic, lol. On a happier note, I'm going to finally see Code White on Thursday! 😁 More to come later~

[scatterbrainedbot]

Hello :D

You're so cool

Anyway have you thought that in your rat sons au Splinter might outlive the boys?

You're very cool :D love your stuff dude

(tw for some blood, light gore, implied overdose (kinda??))

hi copper!!! this is a fantastic question!

so obviously typical irl rats have far shorter lifespans than the average irl tortoise. according to google (yes, be awed by my spectacularly in-depth wealth of research) the average pet rat lives between 2-4 years ish, and the oldest on record lived to be about 7. meanwhile, an African spurred tortoise (Splinter's species) averages more around a 50ish year lifespan in captivity, tho is suspected to possibly exceed 75 or more in the wild.

Now, the mutation does give us a lot of wiggle room for playing with these numbers. For the rat sons boys, id say their natural lifespan probably clocks in at about 45-55 years old? definitely not old by human standards, but not young young either. (though, its also important to note that the boys were exposed to the mutagen just days after being born.)

For Splinter, meanwhile, aging is slightly more complicated. He lived the vast majority of his life as a regular normal African spurred tortoise (well, non-mutated at least. there were perhaps some shenanigans of a more mystical variety going on before he was mutated, but thats a separate matter) He was about 70ish i think? when the boys were born and they were all exposed to the mutagen. so he is already distinctly an old man turtle papa. id guess he'd probably still have another eh lets say 25-30 years after his mutation. he could probably push it a little farther even with some mystic nonsense, but when push comes to shove id say his 'natural' post-mutation lifespan would put his death like a solid decade or two before his sons.

of course, the tricky part of the matter is that theres no way for Splinter to know any of this. theres no way for him to know how the mutation affected them all, or if it even affected them all in the same way. especially since the boys dont show many physical signs of mutation for the first few years, and just kinda look like normal rats, (albeit with a more human sort of intelligence) — what sort of health standard do you hold them to? what if they simply dont show external signs of sickness or old age anymore? how do you actually know if something is wrong?

for a while there Splinter is very worried that one of his babies will just essentially reach the end of their normal rat lifespan, fall and not get up again.

so mostly, he just tries to live in the moment, enjoying whatever time he does have with his little ones, taking each day as a gift <3

still,

that fear

never

really

goes

away.....

[blackheart-6]

noelle holiday age progression chart

without height lines

explanations of designs:

hi yall

so, i actually finished this drawing like a week ago lol. but i didnt want to post a bunch of drawing in a row, and then i got sick, so i havent been able to post it till now!

its my imaginings of what noelle looked like as she grew up, and a potential adult noelle design! ill explain my thought processes about these designs below, if anyones interested 😁

i also plan on doing one of these with dess, but this one was pretty difficult, so it might be awhile before that (unless yalls are interested in seeing it?)

first off, im not 100% sure ill keep using all these designs. some of them im not that happy with (im no good at designing outfits 😔) but i just went with them so i could finish the drawing. so if anyone has any alternative outfit ideas for any of her ages, id be interested in seeing/hearing it!

secondly, something that may stick out to yall for all the designs is how tall she gets. its the same height i normally draw her with, but given how i usually draw her by herself you cant really tell how tall she is! i have 3 main reasons for why i headcanon her as this tall: deer are pretty tall irl, so having her be tall makes sense in my head; i just like the look of her being super tall, it makes me happy lol; and third, i personally also headcanon the holiday family as boss monsters (i think ive explained this headcanon before on here, so i wont explain again, unless someone is interested ^^). so yeah, she ends up being 7 feet tall as an adult, the second tallest in her family!

also, i gave all her children forms stripes in some way, as a reference to when monster kid in undertale says they can tell frisk is a kid because of their stripes!

now onto my explainations for individual drawings!

theres nothing really to say about her baby design. the only thing i did that might be new is give her faun spots! they are most plentiful on her baby form, but they persist until shes in her teens, i would say (on here you cant see them after age 7, but thats just because i imagine they are mostly on her back). and i gave her a cute lil onsie that says a-deer-able! if you guys cant read it ^^

this outfit i made for her toddler design is actually an outfit ive used in the past! i wonder if yall know what drawing it was? its pretty much the same as it was there, i just added a stripe to the shirt. i felt like overalls are so reminiscent of childhood, i had to give at least one of her designs them! i also added a little mistletoe to the front pocket, to make it more christmas-esque. and i gave her some bandaids, just cause.

7 years old is one of the designs i really struggled on, and im still not happy with it. i dunno if ive said this yet, but i headcanon noelle to be trans, so at 7 is when i decided she started realizing it. so here i gave her long sleeves and pants, to show how shes more hidden now because shes unhappy with herself, if that makes any sense? i was also trying to make her look a bit like a nerd, with the button up and khakis, just because its funny. but yeah, ill probably end up changing this design at some point :P

11 years old was one of the easiest to do, considering how ive had her design for this age for awhile lol. one thing i did change was going from 2 red/white stripes to one, but ive done that before, so it wasnt something entirely new. i also gave her a smile and closed eyes, cause shes happy being a girl 🥰. other that that, its the same, so yeah, thats it for this part

okay, this next design is a fairly different looking one than all the rest, but i have my reasons! at this point in noelles live, dess has gone missing, so i wanted to show her being sad and stuff. i also gave her shoes and long sleeves because she probably goes out looking for dess when she can, hoping to find a lead 😭. but outside of in-story stuff, this outfit is based off of an old one i drew, but its fairly edited, so i wouldnt be surprised if no one recognizes it even if they have seen my old stuff. she has straight hair here, to show how unhappy she is (idk what it is about straight hair it just feels sad) and because i wanted to give her different hair varieties on this progression chart. i gave her antlers 2 prongs each at this point, because the way i see deer monsters, their antlers show their growth/aging, so youll see them getting bigger and having more prongs as the chart continues.

this outfit for 15 is another one i dont like. i tried to make it similar to her current outfit, but still pretty different. im not even sure what precisely i dont like about this outfit, it just doesnt feel that good. for this one i gave her leg warmers because i used to (and sometimes still do) draw her normal outfit with them. i gave her the curly hair she has as a callback to when i used to draw her hair like that! but yeah, ill probably end up redoing this one too

for 17, i just gave her the normal outfit, so it was easy ^^. in game i think shes 16, but close to turning 17, so i just went with 17 here to fit the +2 age pattern thing i had going on. i also gave her an extra horn prong than i normally give her, just to show age once again

finally, her adult design! i dont like this one either lol. i spent so long trying to think of what outfit to give her, but i couldnt come up with something i liked >.< so i just gave her something simple. i feel like once noelle graduates high school and probably goes to college she branches out more and tries things her mother never let her do, which is why i gave her an outfit like that, that has a crop top and a shorter skirt. also, yalls might recognize the hair style i gave her, i drew a potential adult noelle before and i gave her the same hair ^^

i think thats all for the post! i probably have more thoughts that im just not thinking of, but its fine for now. i hope yall enjoyed the drawing, and if you have any question or comments or whatever, go ahead and say them!! if youve made it this far, have a cookie, you must be hungry after reading so much ^^ 🍪

[insertdisc5]

The tumblr q&a is over, but I was curious! I love all the different phrases the characters in isat/sasasa:p use--If it's something you can say, where did inspiration for "gems alive" and other phrases come from?

THANK YOU FOR ASKING BECAUSE I GET TO TALK ABOUT WORLDBUILDING AND SWEAR WORDS AND BRANDON SANDERSON

long post ahead

ok so when I was figuring out the world, I found this lecture on worldbuilding by Brandon Sanderson (go watch it, and also go read his books), and (im gonna paraphrase heavily here) one thing he mentioned is that, to make a memorable world, one thing you can do is pick a couple areas of culture, and go real deep with it. So like, pick fashion, and architecture, and interior design, and develop those a bunch, and bam! you convinced people you have a whole dang world, even though you only developed 3 areas of this world. hollow iceberg everyone thinks is a real iceberg.

he also mentioned the idea of like... getting weird with it? and develop based on a weird detail? for example, in his book The Stormlight Archives, one detail is that women have to hide their left hand at all times. ok, so what does that mean, whats taboo about a left hand? is the left hand shameful, or lewd somehow, the same way ankles were for us? what about fashion, what does women's fashion look like? and how do you live your every day life, knowing you can't show this hand, can you carry things the same way? etc

SO, for me, one of the Big Worldbuilding pillars i picked was, uh, swear words lol. or language and common expressions, more generally. i went on a whole journey where i was like... ok swear words in a LOT of languages (including french and english, both languages i speak fluently) are either sexual, or about gross bodily discharges. you know what words i mean!!!!!

and, well, i also didnt want the game to be full of those words, mostly because i think its a tightrope to use those words without seeming cringe, and also because i have a Core Memory of showing a comic to a colleague and she said "well i wouldve liked to show it to my kids, but you said fuck 12 times in there" and i didnt show my face to her for a week. family friendly family friendly family friendly

so what swear words should my characters use, that arent the same ones we use? and could those swear words actually tell us something about the world they live in? could i actually use those swear words... to show the characters come from different cultures???

and what COULD swear words be like, if theyre not about sex or body stuff? well irl they're usually about religions or belief. "oh god", "goddamnit", etc. as a sidenote, stuff like "oh my god" or "geez" arent used, because jesus christ is not canon to the ISAT universe. alright

i decided very early on i wouldnt have those in the game either, but i COULD have them be about the religions specific to this world. and for insults, i could have them be about stuff those beliefs would see as lesser.

anyway instead of talking about "gems alive" lets talk about "crab"

isabeau+mirabelle+bonnie use "crab" as a swear word because they follow a religion all around change, bettering yourself, evolving, and, the crab meme,

for those who dont get the joke, its about carcinisation, and about how a bunch of non-crab-like forms somehow evolved to a crab-like form. which would be horrible, for a religion all based around change!!! you mean we change and evolve, but theres a chance we might all become crabs??? CRAB!!!!!!!

anyway having "crab" kinda reads as 1. swear word 2. thats funny and weird (sets the tone) 3. tells you they know what crabs are (world not that different from ours, AND means they live close-ish to the coast, aka not land locked) and 4. crabs are somehow hated/feared, even if as the player you dont get why, it shows this country has its own culture (even if you dont get the crabs joke, which uuuh apparently doesnt work as well in countries that dont have this specific meme. WHATEVER!!!!)

(a few people came to me saying "heh, i get it, because crab and crap are very similar words" and um actually i did not think about that. crab is just a funny word on its own, and also i am a comedy genius without even trying)

anyway tldr: swear words as a worldbuilding tool. soon in theaters

[christiansorrell]

TTRPG Read-Through: Patchwork World

Here is a read-through I did last year (originally posted on Twitter) of one of the most unique PbtA games I've ever read: Patchwork World by Aaron King! - Christian

Credits up first. I know a lot of these folks and they are really cool! Excited to dig into this. I've heard good things, and it's been a while since I've read or played any Powered by the Apocalypse.

This is a cool, strong set up for me. I really like settings that ask characters to face a changing world and either take up change themselves or work to restore the old way of things. It's a headspace I find myself in a lot IRL these days so it's fun to explore.

I'm interested to see how the no stats, no playbooks angle of this game works, considering playbooks are typically such a staple of PbtA games.

Standard three-tired success, mixed success, fail forward resolution for rolls here and questions on the moves determine your bonus to the roll. Easy peasy. +2 is the max bonus.

Other types of rolls are described here. Interested to see how they come into play. I also love clocks and use them in pretty much every game I run so it's nice to see those laid out here too.

We just love a lil guy, don't we folks?

A good chunk of the opening here is spent on laying out a lot of solid foundations of roleplaying generally. It feels like a book (so far) that would work for entirely new players. It doesn't feel essential for me, but I never mind a game that supports varied experience levels.

Character creation is wide open, especially since there aren't playbooks and the text stresses that character creation is very much worldbuilding because of this. Fate-like concepts and tags are in here too which are things I generally enjoy. I like the Drawback mechanic.

Moves are in the playback I set in the other room so I'm gonna go grab those. You get two chosen moves and everyone has access to a number of default moves. You've got three other life/XP things to keep track of too. I'm especially interested in Hex.

There are a lot of moves! They seem quite varied and often very weird, fitting well with the titular patchwork world. You can have a duck's slick soul to dodge more easily or a magical space suit or speak to birds or be good at cartography. Overwhelming, but in an exciting way.

You also choose a community as a party. While PCs all have their original homelands (before the end of the old worlds), you know have a community that gets its own little sheet. This is a cool reshaping of the Gangs from Blades. I also like how the community can change over time.

Coming back to a PbtA game after months of more OSR-minded stuff, I think a lot of what these games contain are things that experienced players would say you could just do in any game at any time that it makes sense in the story, but I do find value in stating what's possible.

Esp since many players come to games with artificial limits on their options (whether that's from video games, more traditional RPGs, etc.). I just think good GMing here requires making sure that the players don't limit themselves just to the bevy of explicit options either.

GM moves (mostly to guide the response to failed rolls). I really think the community aspect of this set up is one of the biggest appeals to me so far. That and the wild list of moves, which I'm sure makes for amazing parties of characters.

I always feel like it's never something I should be in my own writing (for some probably unnecessary reason), but I enjoy the first-person, casual writing style throughout the book. Makes for a very chill read.

Good to see this game employs the Branson Reese style of NPC naming.

Stress acts as a single catch-all health and challenge rating for NPCs. Ideally, I'd hope this would help lead to the PCs approaching encounters with more than just violence.

Sections like this are what I'm referring to when I say this book feels very friendly to new players. It's got little anecdotes and thoughts like this throughout.

Look, it's been a while since I've seen A Christmas Story but... it didn't have ghosts in it right?

There's a sample adventure in the back (which I'll skip for this read-through) plus loads of random tables. Some wonderfully bizarre stuff in the characters and faction tables. Really gives you a good idea for how gonzo you can go with the setting.

Love these two in particular

Optional rules include hard mode (which I just think is kind of funny to see in PbtA, but could be cool if you lean heavy into the post-apoc setting) and some optional moves. I like that some moves focus on romance, something I enjoy IRL but never think to focus on in games.

I was wondering why this was the sixth edition!

That's all for the book itself. Going back to the packet to dig into the things I missed. Some expected bits in here but always one or two unique options I really enjoy. Leaking hex is cool (and could have some troubling cascade effects in certain situations).

I definitely wish, at least in sitting down to read like this, that the contents of the player packet was also in the book itself. I think PbtA has this tendency of leading to loads of pages on the table, but it can make them very easy to pick up and play or to learn as you play.

That element is definitely here, but I think the vast number of wide-ranging moves and the excitement that would drum up in my player group would more than makeup for that initial overwhelming feel of "whoa, that's a lot of papers out on the table".

Overall, it's the most I've wanted to play a game in this style in a while. I like that the base setup for the world is very much up to the players to determine via the characters they make. I like that PCs here will probably feel unlike any other folks have played before.

The community aspect feels like where I'd want to center my story around, as a player. Seeing that shift and change over time feels like it would be very rewarding and would help lean into the "the old world is dead, what do we want the new world to look like?" theme I enjoy.

Because Aaron King is cool and recently hit a lot of Twitter followers, Patchwork Worlds is now Pay-what-you-want over on Itch.

I'm not sure if physical copies are readily available. For full disclosure (guess I should have said this up front), I got this copy for free from Aaron! Not for the purposes of this thread or anything, just for fun a while back.

Thanks for reading more ramblings from me! If you like to do that sort of thing, check out my newsletter - Missives from the MeatCastle. It's got writings on my work, cool stuff I've run across the web in the last month, and exclusive rpg stuff! https://meatcastle.substack.com

[mrs-monaghan]

OMG Tae did way worse than I expected 💀💀💀

Slow Dancing - #3 on Billboard's Global Excl US. Jimin did #2 because of that Morgan whale

#4 on Billboard's Global 200 this week! - JM #2

BB 200 - Tae - #2 100K album, JM #2 164K.

BB 100 - Jm #1, Tae - #51 💀💀

the way most popular member charted below than Suga is crazy lol. Even Jimin's all hated Bside SMF ate it up so bad (#30 BB). This is answer to his rabid stans than internet popularity doesn't give you a shit irl. First outchart supposedly unpopular rapline before getting Park Jimin's lowest numbers lmao

Before I comment on this I would just like it to be known; I AM NOT A V ANTI!!!!!

This isn't a disclaimer. I am only stating this because of the asks I've go10 shitting on him. I will not be posting those. I don't blame anyone but myself. I know I have allowed people to vent about him here before and I was definitely among the people getting pissed at the JK name dropping but I'm pretty chill these days. So V's antics don't bother me and also there is something about binging all that Layover content continously that just reminds you that V is not the monster people paint him out to be.

If you haven't had the time i recommend this video. It was my favourite and I quite enjoyed it.

He is funny and honestly I also wanna say adorable 😂😂

Sure, the way he treats those around him could use some adjustment. But those around him seem to love him just fine so who I'm I to be mad at him, you know?

Now that that's out of the way, let's indeed talk numbers. I've said multiple times the 2 most popular members are Jimin and JK. Not V and JK. We've seen this before but sure, let's revisit the topic.

So a friend of mine who quite enjoys keeping tabs on numbers did the following math:

September 9th Streams, Thailand percentage compared to overall Streams:

Seven: 17,6 %

Slow Dancing: 29,6 %

Like Crazy: 8,7 %

So this is the amount of Streams Thailand had for the Maknae line Main Tracks on September 9th, Compared to worldwide Streams.

😁

Maknae Line, Main Track Streams Debut Day. Global vs USA vs Thailand

Debut Streams "Seven":

Global: 15,99 M

USA: 2,064 M (12,9 %)

Thailand: 1,3 M (8,13 %)

*

Debut Streams "Like Crazy":

Global: 6,6 M

USA: 0.997 M (15,1 %)

Thailand: 0,165 M (7,5 %)

*

Debut Streams "Slow Dancing":

Global: 6,14 M

USA: 0,388 M (6,3 %)

Thailand: 0,970 M (15,8 %)

These are the Streams for each Main Track's Debut Day. Global vs US vs Thailand

In conclusion:

-USA and Thailand looooooove JK. BUT Seven is charting in 71 out of 72 (wow) eligble Spotify countries. So it's a bob and a hit globally.

-USA loooooooooves Jimin. Thailand, not so much 😬

-Thailand absolutely looooooves V. USA, not so much.

But we kinda already knew this no? Alot of vermin are in Thailand, Vietnam and Philippines, etc. SouthEastAsian is Taekook domain statistically speaking. But the thing is, its still mostly V they prioritize. SEVEN experienced global success coz JK appears to be a fan favourite everywhere. So that helps him even when the SouthEastAsians decide to mostly support V.

So assuming these calculations are correct, which they should be since they are from Spotify Global, (feel free to go do your own) I really don't understand how it was concluded V is the most popular member. And there is many more countries to choose from, my friend only used Thailand coz its one of the countries that stream the most.

People assuming V is the most popular coz of his followers on IG, Guys, Instagram is only one app. V solos n V biased Armys can convince themselves that he's the most popular but numbers do not lie. Chapter 2 has shown that that, is not the case at all. I mean if you've been on twitter you've seen V hasn't even been able to beat Suga in certain categories and records. Like anon said.

The purpose of my post is not to say V isn't liked. That would be a lie. I'm just saying if anything JK is the most popular BTS member. And that's on fax 💯💯💯💯 with Jimin being a very, very, close second. And I know by saying this I am beating a dead horse atp but if Jimin had go10 the push JK did they would either be head to head or he would have surpassed him. So imagine what a big deal it is, that Jimin is doing so well right now and he didn't even get that huge company support.

US album sales were 3K according to Billboard, thats like 30k singles. China did 800k 😱 Asia loves V. US however, which is where it counts for Billboard, do not. Billboard sabotaged all Asians after Jimin won, which means if JK hadn't go10 radio play he never would have won. So, without radio play, V was never going to get that number 1. Those who aren't dillusional already knew this. So we aren't surprised

[sulfies]

can you spill more abt that self insert of yours? 👁️👁️

Oh boy oh boy can I? (big yapping incoming) (typo and grammar massaccare of 2024)

He is a self insert OC Assassin from the Ottoman brotherhood (bc Im Turkish) and he is 23 (bc I am)

not a secret mentor or anything lol I was just joking in the first post making a mary sue.

I imagine he is similar or one above than whatever Yusuf’s rank is (I have yet to play Revelations :,p ) tho I do not know what time he should be in, Realistically if no time travel happened he would be in same time as Yusuf but I dont want Gilf Ezio (sorry) but if its Ezio, Alt and Desmon togather timeline probobly he is in around AC2 Brotherhood time. (maybe he came by Italy to do a mission and dropped by the hideout)

He is ethnically Balkan or/and Greek (bc I am) which probobly means he was taken to Constantinople as a teen or kid to eighter be sent to Jenniserrie training or the male-harem.

Small history lesson:

- Devşirme was the name of the practice where Ottoman empire basically enslaved young Greek,Balkan,Ukranian,etc etc boys and inserted them into an Elite military (Janniserries) even the Sultans themselves were scared of bc they were known to start coups and kill Sultans(they got a salary and are socially above the commonfolk but… military slaves non the less)

-Male-harems existed, again Balkan, Romanian, Slavic and greek etc people were often the main people in the harems (fun fact nearly no Sultan is Turkish due to this lmao they are all mixed), once again their status were above the common folk and they were well taken care of (the older males could even become gov officals after) but slavery non the less.

Idk if I want him to escape the harem or Jenniserrie for his edgy backgrund but maybe he did few years of training, cought the eye of the Sultan and escaped the moment someone was like “you have been promoted to an elite employeeee, u won harem lotterry” . Probobly wandered the streets a bit, got into hella fights till an Assassin picked him up escaping a group of soliders. Maybe it was an older dude who saw him when they were both in training

He is basically based off my own ethnicity and its context to the time and sociatal goings of that era lol (which was hella gay… very gay… too gay almost)

He probobly has some traditional slavic leg,hand and arm tattoos (bc I have em but also) mostly bc around those times (nearly always women) used to tattoo themselves in those motifs to remember their christian roots and their culture (that Ottoman tried to erease) and also to make themselves less appealing to Ottoman Harem/ Devşirme recuiters :,D

For his name, Maybe to be on the nose… Adem? (Turkish ver of Adam) so he is tied to the apples in a fun way? Or Poyraz (means a northern wind) since the meaning is similar to my own name?

He doesnt grow much facial hair (bc I am also stuck w a weak beard) but he refuses to get rid of it no matter how much others tease him bc he is like “I aint getting courted by random crazy men ew” (I dont irl also bc I desperetly believe it looks good…I refuse to open my eyes)

History lesson 2:

-facial hair was important in Ottoman times, It LİTTERALLY determined your gender and how you were approached.

-Socially and in Litriture Ottoman almost had 3 gender roles; Men, Boys (Oğlan) and Women. Once a man grew a beard he would “transition” from being a boy.

-Romantically having a beard versus not determined if you were to be courted or court. Bearded man were called “Lovers” while NON-bearded were called “Beloveds” (yes more often the boys were underage :/ for the sake of history lesson lets…. try to ignore that like ancient greeks)

there is many gay ass poems ^

He got all the mentall illness coctails that I got bc why not make it worse fr him. I imagine him sarcastic and catty, Claudia prob loves taking him to shop around bc he always got something to fckn say about everyone. Big gossipper. Hides the fact that he hates being as short as he is very well (im like… 165? 5’5-4?). If in Yusuf time, nearly BFFS (if im not inserting myself into the throuple (bc Its my self insert and I CAN BE AS CRINGY AS I WANT) he would end up w Yusuf)

Him about others:

Ezio: will never stop calling him de la la la,likes him a lot, loves pranking and teasing him. Enjoys fake flirting with him till he takes it so far Ezio has to throw in the towel. Probobly teached him how to Oil wrestle and Ezio was like “Are you sure this is a real sport…” and all he did was sigh and say “I am so glad it actually is” as he admired Oiled up Ezio

Altaïr: loves mocking whatever big words he uses all the time. calls him “Big boss” just to see his eye twitch with cringe. Knows he can get away with shit if he acts stupid enough. Altair knows he is not that stupid but is impressed(deragotory, fondly) how low he is willing to go.

Desmond: clearly his favorite (im biased sue me) obvious by how much softer he acts around Des. Ezİo falls he laughs, Des falls “My leige, hop on my back”. Is facinated by his piercings and begs him to help him get some. Desmond desperetly wishes he could invent some ADHD Meds for him. Des also finds him strangely comforting, can imagine himself back in 2010s almost…

————-

Idk im not rlly a self insert person so thinking about him was hard and I also dont wanna make my oc “the main character” in this au so I dont really wanna give him any secret powers or anything.

Maybe some edgy gnarly scars on his back from a past mission where he came in contact with an apple? Maybe when he touched the apple he was supplied that canonly he doesnt exist and he is just a fan created being and has a whole issue about it? I can imagine a sad scene of him crying like “You dont understand, You exist! even as some damn video game you do and people know you they cannot deny you exist. ME? all I am is some weirdos self writing, not even enough to be in canon. Does anything I do matter?” lololol

Thats all I got for him for now lol but feel free to ask more:p Im also open to ideas for him.

sorry for the yapping and history lesson… here is some more fun facts:

-Oğlancılık (male prostitution) was pretty respected they were seen like any other tradesperson in some parts

-a Paşa tried to ban under 30 males from being washers in Turkish Hamams due to them also being sex workers and litterally everyone was so mad he got replaced

-dancers in coffeehouses wore the same fit no matter the gender so boys and girls looked the same (once again they were also sex workers)

-one time a jewish boy caused such a big fight between janniserries the sultan had to threathen to kill 40 man from each side if they didnt stop

-Draculas are real people and RADU the beutyfull (his OFFİCİAL NAME) had a full on recorded relationship with Sultan Mehmet2 :p

- Gay shit was legalized in 1853 mostly bc they never rlly punished it….

for the girlies

-in harems the girls couldnt order things like cucumbers or carrots to their rooms w out it being cut up :p

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Movie Analysis: Henry's Seclusion and Perception-Part 2

A little follow-up of this post after I realized something while watching Henry flinch after Alex tried to hold his hand during their Paris date.

This is more up to interpretation but in the same way Henry was isolated in a space without any sort of moral support during the week after the email leaks while Alex wasn’t, I think the same could be possibly said with their view on public displays of affection.

I’m gonna preface by saying that even in the RWRB Movie verse, both UK and USA are evidently mostly LGBT+ friendly. Alex’s US kind of goes without saying, while for Henry, given the sheer amount of people that ended up coming to support him all across the country, I think the same could be said for his UK.

So given that their big environment is LGBT friendly, the difference here is their own circles.

Before President Claremont was elected, Alex was just like any of us, as he put it himself, “an anonymous working class kid”. His socializing circle wasn’t really limited. On top of that both of his parents are democrats. Even before he figured out his own bisexuality, he was definitely exposed to LGBT communities and individuals, colourful queer people who showed off their gender, sexuality and relationship/partner proudly. Besides, from his interaction with Nora, his mom, even Henry during the NYE party, Alex is clearly a physically affectionate person to begin with. He is used to displays of affection, and has see queer public displays of affection.

So when he starts to fall for Henry (which I firmly believed started properly since the state dinner), he doesn’t really register displays of affection as something to be hidden despite now being in a homosexual relationship. This aspect is not that different in his mind. The only times we see Alex really make an effort to conceal it is when they want to… do dirty things, like the polo match (Matthew/Prime release the full scene please) and the DNC hotel visit, which in any case is something that one would make effort to hide even for a bit.

Look at the movie again. Alex reaches out to hold Henry’s hand in Paris, Henry flinches. Alex steps forward to kiss Henry at the airstrip after the night in the V&A, Henry stops him, even if it’s private airstrip with only Henry’s staff. The one sentence Alex said that sent Henry spiralling and trying to break things off was “We could walk through Austin holding hands, and it won’t even matter if anyone sees us.” (which is one of my favourite lines in the book by the way, granted used in a different situation) Alex finds public displays of affection towards Henry very natural.

Henry doesn’t.

However much he loves touching and kissing Alex in private behind closed door throughout the entirety of their relationship, he was never comfortable, or confident for them in public settings, even if there’s actually no one except their own professional secret service/ personal staff there.

And I think one of the contributing reasons is unlike Alex, he never really got to see queer people be openly proud of their identity and partners.

Henry, as the prince, has his social circle and travels limited. You’re not gonna see him on the subway or walking through Trafalgar Square. He’s not gonna be able to walk the streets and just see queer citizens out and about the way Alex did. Given the context clues in the movie, I’m guessing he’s limited to causes the crown wants to serve (veterans, climate, diplomacy, which all have their own values as social issues but doesn’t suit Henry) and unlike the royals in our world (yes I pay some attention to the irl royal family) he couldn’t even choose topics that interest him, that he wants to serve, like arts, LGBT, and mental health (there’s a sequel idea!!! Henry getting to choose how to use his title for causes he’s part of and care about), plus it’s clear his family, the king at least, had no interest in getting involved with LGBT issues, so he didn’t have any chance to approach the community while on duty either. Considering his grandfather warned him against pursuing relationships when he was 18, he probably was forced into some sense of shame or fear regarding any possibility of having a public relationship, which was also part of his argument during the Kensington confrontation. Seeing as Nick and Matthew decided Paris was Henry’s first time with someone he actually had feelings for, I’m guessing past hookups in said “English Boarding School” were done out of sexual frustration and some degree of rebellion, but even then it was more on the sexual side instead of anything truly affectionate, and that was still extremely secretive with stacks of NDAs.

So on Henry’s part, he was secluded in a almost forcefully heteronormative environment, never really got to see people like him in real life, in front of his eyes (reading queer history and news about LGBT rights is very different from seeing it yourself), and was told that this was something to be ashamed about, something he can’t do, something impossible. That’s why he never felt confident enough to ask for touch or touch Alex in anywhere remotely public. (He was drunk at the karaoke, and I think most of the Texas vacation was on the Claremont-Diaz’s private property, so those don’t count)

Until the palace pride protest, where thousand of people like him came to storm the palace with their rainbow flags and banners, their support, and their own identities display.

Faces with this massive display of queer pride right in front of him, Henry, maybe for the first time, sees so many people like them, and he sees that it’s okay for him to be gay, that there is nothing selfish, shameful, repulsive or unacceptable about who he is and who he loves. They’re here for him. They’re just like him. They’re proud of it. They show it.

So this time, in front of his family, a window away from the outside world, it’s his turn to ask for Alex’s hand, held between his. He’s finally confident enough in everything so tell Alex, through a wet smile, “I love you.”

Both of them look out, at the sea of colourful love and pride. Alex, who has seen this many times before in his life, but probably the first time he sees this knowing he’s part of that sea. Henry, who gets to see the crowd be proud of something he’s tried so long to conceal and hide.

Henry can be proud of his sexuality too.

And he shows it, on the balcony of Buckingham Palace, with thousands of people cheering for him and his boyfriend. 

[average-submas-enthusiast]

My Experience with Wilbur Soot

So, the Wilbur Soot situation. This is mostly going to be me ranting abt the whole situation, so don't keep reading if you don't care.

I mostly just had to type this out and post it so I can vent and (hopefully) get over Wilbur Soot.

Wilbur supporters DNI

I've been a fan of Wilbur's for a long time, I believe the first time I watched him was in January 2021. Initially, I just knew him from Technoblade's (Rest in Power, king) videos, but after a while, he kinda grew into his own thing for me.

I wasn't huge into Dream Smp as it came out, as most of the time I couldn't tune in for personal reasons.

I started seriously watching it in September of 2021 if I remember correctly. It soon became a hyperfixation of mine. I knew basically every crumb of lore like the back of my hand, and I loved what Wilbur did for both the server and its stories. I still do, to an extent, as the Dream SMP is still really near and dear to my heart.

Then, Lovejoy’s Pebble Brain album came out. Previously, I had no idea Wilbur had started a band, so it was a surprise to be sure, but a welcome one. So when I tell you that that album had been my single favorite album of all time up until this point, you better believe it. I spent hours listening to the songs, over and over again, whether it was on a good day or a bad one, I always had a small comfort.

After about a year or so, I fell out of MCYT again. I still kept up with it occasionally, mostly just watching Tommy and Wilbur.

Frankly, before Tuesday, I hadn't even thought about Wilbur Soot since about 2 months ago. So, when all of a sudden, I saw he was trending on here, I was somewhat excited. I thought he had announced a new project or something. So, I clicked on the hashtag.

I am truly disgusted by Wilbur Soot's actions. To think, someone who I personally looked up to, did such horrendous actions is horrifying to me.

A part of me feels almost ashamed that I didn’t see it, that any signs in the past of Will being a bad person I swept under the rug, choosing to ignore it because “He was young'' or “He said he was sorry”. However, I have since realized that I COULDN’T know what was going on behind the scenes. I only saw his persona, the mask he put on when he streamed or was recording. TBH, this situation has really affected me, if me writing such a long post about the situation didn't tip you off already.

And worst of all was his "apology”. I first learned about this situation on Tuesday, about 3 hours before he made his public “apology”. When I read it, at first I was semi-satisfied, because he claimed he was/had gone to therapy and felt his previous actions were “slobish, disrespectful, and selfish”. I felt like he had downplayed his actions, but that overall he had felt bad and was seeking help.

Then, I realized a ton of things were wrong with it. Not only did he downplay his actions, he completely skipped over like 75% of it, he also JUST DIDN'T SAY SORRY. He somewhat vaguely apologized, if you turn your head and squint, but the words “I'm sorry” never appear in the text.

With all these things coming together, plus all the reactions by creators that have met him IRL/talked to him in private, I can't in good conscience support Wilbur Soot. Whether it be in music, youtube, twitch, whatever, I just can’t. I have removed all of both his and Lovejoy’s songs from my streaming playlists, and have pirated a small few that I’ve used as comfort music. I plan on eventually fully cutting him and his work out entirely, but I need a little time to adjust. I feel bad for not supporting Lovejoy, as there are other members than Will, but I feel it is the best course of action unless they fully remove him from both the band and the cash flow.

Hopefully reading through my experience has helped anybody else who has felt a familiar experience to me. I truly hope Wilbur gets the help he needs, he is a messed up individual, and needs psychological help.

Small note: Please, don't tell Wilbur to kill himself, while his actions were bad, that's not an excuse to tell somebody to end their own life. His actions were horrible, but verbally assaulting someone online is not a reasonable reaction to this situation.

Go support Shubble. She's very brave to talk about her experiences. Support SA victims. Go support both Tommy and Phil, Tommy has most likely been a victim of his manipulation and abuse and Phil is a close friend of his that most likely feels betrayed and hurt by his close friend’s actions.

I don't really have anything else to say, so bye everyone, stay safe and vigilant.

[11x13kyle]

stylegate

stan and kyle have been together for what at this point is probably like 2500000 years, but their relationship was pretty private because stan was in the closet for a while

when stan comes out, it’s another 4-6 months before his relationship with kyle is made public (passive voice because it was NOT by choice)

there’s a lot of relationship speculation, but kyle is really NOT one of the people that is suspected, aside from a couple of reddit posts with like 2 upvotes that say shit like “my money’s on kyle from fireside chats pod”

most of the replies to this are like “dude what the fuck are you talking about. just because they’re from the same place and the same age like next you’re gonna say craig tucker is the secret boyfriend. get real.”

there are anon submissions on deuxmoi about stan

some directly allude to kyle, others are bullshit

prior to being publicly in a relationship, stan and kyle are out to their friends and family on personal accounts but not in the public eye. stan’s socials are mostly business anyway, and kyle’s socials are mostly discourse and drama and bullshit. he mentions having a boyfriend but is very vague about it

that said, they are seen spending time together but its seen more as them running in the same circles rather than them being close (god forbid CLOSE)

*callout post voice* hey can you tag your c/r/i/m/s/o/n d/a/w/n posts???? their lead singer has literally been seen spending time with the f1r3s1d3 guys so he probably shares in their reactionary viewpoints and that makes me uncomfy ://

kyle and cartman occasionally mention an elusive friend named stan and give barely any details about him so people think stan is just some dude that they know irl and not lead singer of hit band crimson dawn

and no one’s gonna think it’s him because stan’s cd persona is just so normal that no one is going to connect the dots and go “oh this batshit insane person from their stories is the same person who is relatively regular on stage!”

there is minor speculation because they did grow up in the same area and are the same age but people enjoy their delusions and cognitive dissonance

speculation is still mostly redditors that get barely any interactions

slightly before the outing butters casually refers to stan as kyle’s boyfriend but people just think he’s being homophobic

this is after stan comes out so people think he’s mocking stan for his sexuality --> butters homophobia allegations, cancellation #832349038 for him. just another tuesday

cartman addresses this on fireside by saying something along the lines of: look, i know butters, and i can confirm that YES, butters knows exactly what he’s doing. he hates gays, he thinks stan is a dumb fag, and he is violently homophobic, and--

people love to ask craig and those guys about it on their podcast but they never answer anything because fireside is the enemy and they actively dislike them

craig answers exactly once with the response: “who the fuck are kyle and eric?” and that’s it

on a personal level, kyle is cool with tolkien and jimmy, but they all collectively despise cartman, so fireside as a pod is not a friend

stan and kyle’s relationship is eventually outed because butters accidentally lets it slip like for REAL on his show and shit hits the fan

“Who is Stan Marsh’s Boyfriend and Why Should You Be Concerned?”

after stan and kyle are publicly an item stan goes on the pod a couple of times, but not until the initial outrage dies down

when he comes on the show it’s treated as a Very Special Episode. kenny guest stars so that he can help cartman to terrorize stan and interrogate him with wildly personal questions

stan fucks around with his answers

“who tops?” “..........we’re both virgins?”

this answer leads to cartman and kenny taking 10 minutes to debate the reality of this assertion

kenny asks if they know about the camera that cartman has set up in their bedroom

cartman has seriously considered putting a cam in kyle’s room so he doesn’t laugh as hard at that as one would think

kyle is so fucking angry. he’s making a pissed off buzzing sound the whole time

at some point, i don’t know when, stan definitely pulls out his cartman impression

[noodlerock56]

I saw one of your top posts about how you're anti feminist but not because you're sexist but because you're disappointed in how many feminists have become angry man haters, this is something I 100% agree with

Back in 2022 I stopped labelling myself as a feminist for 2 reasons, 1 was because other feminists said I (a man) couldn't be a feminist, 2 I was tired of people assuming I was a male radical feminist who hated all other men and bootlicked women, right now if someone asks if I'm a feminist I just reply with "I believe in equality" or something like that

Even some of my female friends who are 100% for womens rights are now embarrassed to call themselves feminists, because they stand for women to be equal to men, not for women to be above men

Not only is it disgusting and disappointing to see a movement that started with so many brave women who did not wish to be above men but simply wanted to be equals become so toxic, not only do feminists hate men they also hate other women who do not agree with them

I've seen feminists get so angry at other women and call them pick mes for having a mostly male friend group, not labelling themselves as a radfem man hater or just doing anything that "doesn't break female stereotypes"

For example on TikTok there is an account where a woman makes cooking videos and she mainly cooks for her husband and kids, people in the comments say she's a conservative mormon with an abusive husband and makes these videos to "brainwash" other women into becoming "slaves of the patriarchy" when in reality she has never done videos on politics or mormonism, and in a few videos her husband cooks as well and they seem to have a loving relationship as well as their kids

Its funny how radfems say "women can do anything they want!" Yet they get so angry at a woman simply cooking for her family, radfems in general are on otherworldly levels of hypocritical

I am also of the belief that a woman (or anyone tbh) can do as she pleases as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, whether that be playing sports, cooking for her family, having a mostly male friend group, having a mostly female friend group, having a friend group thats a mix of both genders, wearing masculine clothes, wearing feminine clothes, etc

I have seen a few feminists online and IRL who genuinely care about keeping the two sexes on equal footing (Gloria Steinem and Lauren Faust are two great examples of this), but yeah, like I said in the post you referenced, a lot of them are just misandrists and transphobes masquerading as feminists. It’s a shame, too, because there are women in third-world countries who are legitimately oppressed by a patriarchal society, but these so-called “feminists” are too busy hating/stereotyping men to care about them.

“Girl power”, I guess?

[bluejayblueskies]

20 questions for fic writers

thank you @three-magpies-in-a-trenchcoat for the tag!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 

130 (more if you count my side accounts and anonymous fics)

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 

958,861 (so close to a million,,,)

3. What fandoms do you write for? 

Right now, primarily Malevolent, but I've written for TMA a lot in the past as well. I also have some ideas for RQG fic since I've been relistening to that podcast!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Cube Rule of Food Identification (TMA)

Just Married (Voltron)

it will be this, always (TMA)

a six-step process (TMA)

ten thousand flowers in spring (TMA) (i had no idea this had jumped to spot number 5!!!)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I used to, and I still want to, but I always feel like I need to have something to say more than "thank you so much!" and I get stuck in the paralysis of what to say and then forget to respond at all 😅 but if people ask me a direct question, I will usually answer it!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 

Hmmm. I write a lot of angst, but I trend towards happy endings rather than unhappy endings, so that's tough.

Oh! So this is on my side account for Malevolent, but The Curation and Preservation of Arthur Lester is probably the closest thing I have to a fic with an angsty ending (that is, it ends very badly for Arthur). Maybe on a more emotionally angsty side, as the pendulum swings? I think that fic generally has an ambiguous/hopeful ending, but only in terms of "they are no longer trapped in the time loop;" all the effects of the loop still remain, consciously or not.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 

Also a hard question, mostly because I tend to write endings that are a bit.... not open-ended, but more "this isn't 100% resolved but it will be in the future and the steps are there but that's a journey the characters have to take on their own." That said, I think By Virtue of Divine Providence is probably my most straightforward happy ending, where "they lived happily ever after for all eternity" is the general vibe.

8. Do you get hate on fics? 

Not that I know of, though I'm sure it's happened at some point somewhere. Nothing to my face though (yet).

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

I do! I typically either write a) sex scenes that fit into the context of a longer fic as a plot point, which tend to be pretty straightforward "sex happened and it was emotional and significant for both people involved" or b) kinky and/or dead dove one-shots that usually get posted on side accounts or anonymously. (Mostly because my bookbinding imprint is tied to this username, and I like to maintain a sort of separation in case anyone IRL comes looking.)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? 

I'm not a big crossover person, reading or writing. I think I maybe wrote a superwholock crossover when I was 14-15? But that's about it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

I sure hope not!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Not that I know of, though people have done podfics or bookbinds of my fics before!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

No, but I'd love to try it some day!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? 

100% jonmartin; I'll probably never be over them.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? 

I have an unfinished TMA longfic, Seen, Unseen, Unsung that I have fully outlined but will very likely never finish writing.

16. What are your writing strengths? 

I think I'm good at internal monologues (ie letting the character ramble for a bit), emotional beats (particularly angsty ones), and writing dialogue that sounds like something the character in question would say.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? 

I'm so bad at writing romance (and yet I keep trying 😅). Established romance? Fine, okay, I can do that. Budding romance? I have absolutely no idea and rely pretty much entirely on tropes I've seen in other fics or books/TV shows/movies/etc.. Also, I feel that I struggle a bit with transitions between scenes that aren't hard scene break cuts.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? 

If I do, I usually do something along the lines of, "He said in Spanish, 'Don't go over there!'" for ease of reading and because my translations would probably be horrible.

19. First fandom you wrote for? 

Probably Supernatural.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Hands-down whiskey old fashioned sour. It's such a fun world to play in, and I really enjoyed writing all the little newspaper/extra tidbits for it, and I have many more ideas swirling around in my brain for it. By Virtue of Divine Providence is a close second though.

I'll go ahead and tag @shadow0haven, @organchordsandlightning, @captaincravatthecapricious, @splitting-infinities, and anybody else who's interested!

[faligon]

how do you find the courage to open up about parts + distinction? its nice in theory (i like being understood and accepted) but in reality its scary. im currently finding it difficult & near impossible to do so with my closest (IRL & online) friends + group therapist. (even names/pronouns). i feel like a trapped deer in headlights. what about you? i think of you as brave and admire that trait about you for being so open about it. sorry if this message is weird. i dont know how else to say it.

wow hi anon, first of all thanks for the ask; i'm really honored that you'd think of me that way about something like this in the first place... and it's not weird at all, don't worry! this subject is definitely something i go back and forth about all of the time, and i think that fear you're describing is completely normal; especially if you're only just beginning to try sharing about having parts at all. so don't worry, i think the fear is actually kind of "baked-in" to the disorder itself, imo.

this got pretty long, so i'm going to put it under a cut!

i think a large part of what you may be picking up on from me has just come from time. i've been formally diagnosed for about 3 years now, but i first identified my symptoms about 10 years ago; i've had a really long time to make a whole fuckton of both mistakes and tough decisions when it comes to how i want to present being dissociative online. compared to how i was when i was younger, i actually consider the amount of actual information i share to be fairly low (so it's surprising to me that i seem as open and not like a private recluse lol) - but my overall acceptance of the disorder and what it means for me to have it has definitely solidified in the past 3 years. that's allowed me to curate a fairly generally cohesive "collective" image, but that can sort of be a pro or a con. i tend to view any information i share online as just being a small "segment" of the overall "chimera" - as long as what sections i share don't put me at risk, it just becomes another facet of how people see me overall. basically, i try to incorporate my view of the disorder into my presentation of my self, i guess. i wouldn't be who i am without my parts, so they become part of me. this mindset largely stems from having to backtrack on a lot of old ideas about the disorder; viewing parts as external figures, presenting parts as Quote Unquote "Completely Separate", etc. you'll have to put your own time into thinking what those sorts of things mean to you, and how you collectively think of it when it applies to yourself.

despite how it looks, i actually have comparatively very few parts that feel fully comfortable "presenting" solely as themself nowadays, and to have that luxury is actually fairly rare. as the guy who's writing this I personally only recently (within the past 2 weeks or so) worked up the courage to present as anything personal to me at all. this is mostly because having a collective name online gives me (overall) the freedom to hide behind that moniker and image that i've spent so long curating, and trying to step outside of that is a pretty big source of risk.

for the most part, i deliberately try not to share information about parts that could put myself in danger, or that would cross those part's boundaries. there are some disagreements when it comes to this; some information that certain parts feel strongest about sharing / feel is strongest tied to their personal identity online can sometimes be information that others feel like "if you post this online we will actually die" about, lol. as always, communication is the most important part of dealing with any part of this disorder.

building off of that, i think the most important piece of advice or what have you is going to sound kind of cliche if you've been deep in the paint on reading advice for DID, but it will get easier as you get to know your parts - and more specifically, each parts boundaries. i would take the time to ask your self and others what exactly it is that makes you freeze up when trying to share or present in a way that's comparatively more open. i'd even ask myself what you consider "being open" means to you, because it's different for everyone. i found myself realizing that a lot of my hangups with it were from other parts' fears or worries, and had to talk it through to come to a middle ground with them.

this is especially true when it comes to wanting to be open to therapists. i've never been in group therapy outside of inpatient before, so i can't exactly be the best help there... but i personally try to remind myself that despite how it feels, i'm technically the person in the position of power in a therapeutic relationship because i'm paying for their service. if i share and i feel it alters our relationship in a way i dislike, or that it puts me in danger, i have the authority to terminate that therapeutic relationship. i would start small and just see how it feels to share about the existence of parts at all in a group setting like that before diving into anything more personal.

i feel like i had more to say, but i've already typed up a whole novel, lol... i hope at least this can give you some insight on where i come from when sharing things online. thanks a lot again for the ask, it means a lot that you'd look up to me in any way. i'm not at all an arbiter of DID advice or anything, but if you'd ever like to shoot me a message off anon you can certainly give it a shot. (even though i'm bad at responding to dms.)

[yolowritter]

Hello there everyone, and welcome back to part 2 of this Au! So, I'll put forth a quick recap from last time and let everyone know what's happening in the rest of the story, yeah? Cool, now let's move right along!

Disclaimer: I’ve been gone from Tumblr for a while now, due to myriad of technical issues + prioritizing AO3 and IRL work. It’s a long story, but not to worry, I am now back and will actually remember to post frequently. Anyway, on with the AU!

As a reminder: The premise here is that Lila's grandmother (from the embassy mom's family, since until they explain this 27 mothers thing Lila has going on I am going to ignore it) once lived in Paris in the 1940s, and befriended Fu and Marianne as they were hiding the Miraculous away. Long story short, during that scene in S5 where they're escaping, Grandma Rossi gets the Fox Miraculous and helps them do so, eventually returning to Italy before Fu has deemed it safe enough to return for it. Many years later, she ends up revealing Trixx to Lila and passes the Fox onto her when her granddaughter says she's going to Paris, and tells her to be very, *very* careful with it. Lila immediately proceeds to nearly out herself with the Volpina incident. But don't worry, it's fine, she manages to get out of that situation without too much trouble. Now she's offered to be Adrien's friend, and so has Marinette. In the meantime, she's also waiting for a good oppurtunity to transform again, and try to convince Ladybug and Chat Noir that she is not a supervillain. For details, check the previous post.

Anyway, onto the rest of the show! Things stay the same for a few episodes, or...almost. Because Lila is friends with Adrien now, and by proxy Marinette who is putting her crush aside to make sure Lila isn't getting him in any trouble by also being Adrien's friend, our beloved...anti-heroine? Yeah, sure, why not? Our beloved anti-heroine happens to also get to know Alya and Nino failrly well, discreetly using Alya to get info on Ladybug and Chat Noir under the guise of helping with her blog, and Nino just for the playlists. Listen, Lila's taste in music ain't the most varied, so if there's good tunes in Nino's lists, she wants to have them too. Anyway, her friendship with the group develops more and more as she basically tries to be on her best behavior. Now...like I said last time, Lila isn't exactly the most moral person, or has any problems about absolutely (verbally) clobbering someone (meaning Chloe, most of the time) who is annoying her. And since Paris' Perfect Princess™ also happens to be a bully and screams at the same amount of decibels as a banshee before *anyone* has had their morning coffee, Lila joins up with Marinette and Alya to make sure nobody puts up with Chloe's BS.

As a consequence of this, she develops genuine friendships. I know, how horrible! But Lila isn't quite sure *how* friendship works, aside from her just holding back her snarky comments and being generally nice to the girls. So...as Marinette slowly begins to trust her more since Lila seems to just...not be going after her crush, our anti-heroine is left grappling with what exactly it means to even have friends in the first place, and if her bonds with the gang are even real considering she's mostly pretending when around them. This all comes to a head when Alya invites Marinette and Alya for a sleepover at her house...and cue the Sapotis episode to screw up everyone's night. Low and behold, there's no Rena Rouge to help LB and CN out, and since Alya ran off looking for her sisters, and Marinette is "missing" (AKA Ladybug atm), Lila finds herself alone at the house. Now, logically, she should wait this out until the heroes deal with the Akuma, since it's none of her business. Then again...there's *something* nagging her in the back of her head, a kind of itch that just makes her want to go out there do something instead of being stuck inside waiting. Could it possibly be that she's grown to care for Alya and doesn't want to see her upset? ...nah, probably the boredom! On she goes to transform and jump out the window!

Oddly enough, she notices her costume has changed a little bit since the last time. It's still very much Volpina, but this time she looks a bit more like a real fox. Slightly fluffy, swishing tail, tiny bits of fur on her ears and the ability to flick them at will (yes I will be using this to show her emotions, since I find it adorable when Chat does it), and her fangs are a bit more pronounced. Does this reflect Lila's feral nature as a total chaos gremlin? Absolutely it does! Trust me, she's a troll and it gets so much better! Anyway off she goes jumping around rooftops trying to find Alya, until eventually she comes across Ladybug, who is just kinda jumping around seemingly for no reason (She's trying to get to Fu's place without being seen by the Sapotis). Naturally, Lila jumps ahead of her and peeks her head out from behind a chimney. Ladybug yelps so hard that she physically staggers back, and Volpina finds this incredibly funny. So do I Lila, so do I... After a short moment of Marinette doing a double take, she kinda looks at Volpina with confusion. It goes something like this:

Ladybug: "Wait...Lila?" she asks, confusion evident on her face.

Volpina: "Nope, name's Cerise!" she quickly corrects her, a wide grin on her face. "I- wait, I wasn't supposed to say that! Uh...sorry!" the fox heroine yelps back, pinching the bridge of her nose. "The name's Volpina! The real one this time, promise!" she sing-songs with a tiny bow.

Ladybug: "You're the real Fox Holder?" Ladybug raises an eyebrow, clearly skeptical.

Volpina: "Yeah, Trixx absolutely adores me! So, how can I help ya miss Bug?" she asks, a chaste grin etching itself on her face. She seems almost feral, and Marinette decides to look her over.

Ladybug: Her lucky charm flashes over Volpina's form, and Ladybug examines her. It...looks like Lila's Akumatization, but also not? Her hair is a tad more orange, almost like there's faded highlights at the end of her bangs, and Volpina looks more *real*, like an actual fox rather than just a girl in a costume. "Uh...any chance you'll help us with the Akuma?" she asks again as the girl keeps flashing red in her vision, indicating she's the solution to her lucky charm.

Volpina: Volpina *grins*, flicking her tail at Ladybug. "Oh, I'll be happy to! Lead the way!" she chuckles playfully, almost like she's having fun with all this. Still Marinette jumps ahead of her, leading Lila back into the fray.

Cue the Sapotis-Land illusion and the Akuma's defeat, and Volpina hiding away the moment the fight is done so Ladybug and Chat Noir can't ask her any questions. Lila makes it back to Alya's place just in time, and jumps through the window, flopping on the couch just as the other girls also come back. She naturally makes herself look like she's been lounging around, and Marinette doesn't suspect her.

Worth mentioning that Lila was just pretending beforehand, and that Cerise is gonna be her supposed "real name" as Volpina, to throw off suspicion from her being Lila. Since Cerise doesn't actually exist in this AU (just like Lila's other 200.000 identities), it'll just be a cameo. From that day on, Lila joins Akuma fights every now and again, slowly growing into the Ladynoir banter and proving herself as an ally of sorts, while still blue skidoo-ing away before they can ask her questions. Look, she's in the *process* of crafting a new identity, this stuff ain't easy! After a couple weeks, she ends up eavesdropping on LB and CN while they're having that convo in Glaciator, where she tells him that she's got plans and whatnot. Ladybug leaves like normal, but Lila smells a wee bit off stupidity in the air, and decides to teach our dear furry a few things about how scheduling works. Low and behold, Lila actually ends up giving really good advice to Chat Noir even while actively trolling! Isn’t she miraculous? Anyway, I’ll need to go into waaaaaaay more detail about this in the next part of this AU, but I will save the specifics for part 3!

I’ll see you all soon, but until then, Stay Miraculous!

[sophieinwonderland]

hi o/ jus wana start by saying dis is jus semi incoherent rambling of a sleeby oupy who didnt get to eat 5 borgars for dinner.

i find the anti endo point of “just doing it for attention” so weird

for one its really disconected from real life, like, attention is a basic need fir our body, its why solutary confinment is such good tourture. its like saying “theyre just doing it to get food” :l dumb argument, evyone needs and withholding food because someones starving is an evil thing to do, an so is ignoring someone who’s in need of social interaction.

and two, its blatantly wrong. like, we’ve told 0 people irl about being a system, we’ve only told like, 3 online friends, and we never talk about system stuff with them still cuz we’re scared of loosing those friends for being too weird. we pretty much never post about it on our blog an besides the blog description no one wud probably ever know. the one time someone guessed we’re a system in a discord servr i had a full anxiety attack an avoided any interaction for 2 weeks even tho they were accepting, an then when we finaly went back to talking there i made sure we had any trace of system stuff wiped from the servr profile an deleted the messages that made them ask and only just showed that all again after 2 months of keeping everything hidden. we’re terrified of people we know knowing we’re a system or getting attention cuz of tgat.

tho we’re definitly on the extreme end for that (mostly me tbh… the social isolation and abandonment issues exo-memories and the body’s trauma from similar irl stuff deff made me super scared about this) but its a pretty similar experience for a lot of systems from wut ive seen where telling ppl is pretty much an act of compleat trust an usualy very anxiety inducing.

besides, if someone really wus just after attention, they could just post a incorrect fact online or a really dumb take. thats much easier an will get a lot more attention than faking being a system ever could. like, saying something like “reading is bourgeoisie” on a semi popular post will be a thousand times better at getting u attention than being a system ever could.

theres so much more i wana say about this, like the ableism inherent to that argument point, or the way its linked to child abuse, but phone keyboard is stupid and terrible and im too hungy to think well enough to write out those points properly an do them justice.

anyways, i hope u have a great day/night depending on when u read this.

Right! And if they're claiming people are wanting positive attention, I don't see that as being that hard either.

Like, if someone wants to talk to people on the internet about stuff, there are spaces out there for literally anything and anyone. You're not going to get more attention for being a system than you would for being outspoken in a fandom or a religion or any other social group you're a part of.

People who want attention... don't need to pretend to have people in their head to get it. And the attention you would get for that is often going to be negative because a lot of people are sanist and pluralphobic. But as you mention, it's not even the best way to get negative attention when there are so many actual troll-y things you can do.

You can find hundreds of communities online with people who will support you and give you attention for your takes on various topics! Or you can find hundreds more who will hate you if you push the right buttons!

There's just... no logical reason to fake being plural for attention.

And isn't this, again, the very same claims that have always been made against the LGBTQ community?

It's actually kind of funny how that happens, isn't it?

The people who are getting attention are generally the ones who most conform to society. It's not plural or trans people. It's the ones who do their best to fit in and be like everyone else in their group. Meanwhile, people who have identities that diverge from the norm are often left outcasts and shunned by peers.

And yet it's the latter group that's accused of attention seeking?

It makes no sense. 🤷‍♀️