afurnishedsoul

[floorpancakes]

PEAK (my beloved 1980s vintage SAILORS blouson jacket in sunshine yellow and lime rind green) HAS ARRIVED.

[adobe-outdesign]

Review flotsams?

Flotsams have always had an interesting history with Jetsams, as originally their designs were almost interchangeable minus some subtle differences. Nowadays the two are more distinct, with Flotsams lacking teeth, eyebrows, and having a horn, among other things. Between the two, I do like Flotsams a bit more—they're mostly just dolphins, but they have a nice streamlined design and a few unique features tossed in here and there.

Visually, all of the basic Flotsam colours sport a pink underside. I think it looks better on some colours than others (blue, for example), but I do wish they had gone for something a little more neutral. Thankfully, most colours end up changing this anyway, making it a little bit of a non-point.

Flotsam look near-identical to their old art, just sporting a different pose and a slightly larger horn. I actually like the post-customization art a bit more, just because of the more quadrupedal swim-ready pose and additional shading. They do technically have a "fist", but it's so subtle it actually doesn't look bad for a change.

Favorite Colours:

Halloween: Sheet ghosts aren't usually anything special, but dang, they really made this one work. I love the dark red base contrasted with the white of the sheet, which is also well drawn in terms of how the folds sit relative to the body. There's lots of nice details on the sheets as well, like the patch on the back and the separate neckline, and I love that they managed to give it a more morose expression via the sheet without actually changing the base expression. Speaking of which, the blood-red base colour is also fantastic and deserves a shoutout in and of itself.

Royal: What a beautiful color! I really like how natural the robes look, and the jewelry that hooks around the horn is such a neat way to handle a crown for a narwhal-esq ocean creature. There's also some nice markings on the tail and fins as an added bonus, and both are equally balanced in terms of design (though I do prefer the female a bit more personally, just because the markingss pop a bit more).

Flotsams are also one of the few royal pets that didn't get destroyed with customization, on the grounds that they weren't really anthro to begin with. The converted designs are spot-on except for a weird half-of-a-necklace that the male sports that honestly seems like an art mistake.

Pastel: Just a really pretty colour as a whole, using a green/yellow/purple palette with strong use of gradients. Colored lineart makes the whole thing seem appropriately pastel-y, and the blue eye pops against the sutble pink underside.

[the-clay-quarters]

Okay this took me three days bcus I spent Way too long thinking about it but! here's my guys in @t6fs' template!

The only bit of this that was left blank for non character reasons is the dreams- I avoid all the dream cards in game to avoid nightmares, so I don't really know the vibes oops. Oh, and the key items are distinctive things they carry regularly, excluding things they'd own at home. Otherwise, detail bits under the cut! I ended up with a lot of notes and wanted to ramble, it's really fuckin long <3

Silverstein

"His" pet is Pembroke's Half-Wild Mandrake (from bag a legend). They both agree that it is still hers, it's just hard to take care of in the middle of the city so it lives out with him. Otherwise, he keeps no pets.

Apathetic but also opinionated: On most things, he's very apathetic, simply agreeing with other people's decisions. On the other hand, though, he is strongly revolutionary and aiming for a lot of change... Not that he'd tell you that, not that you should know.

Dreams: It's canon that clay men can't dream :( No rights

Habitat: He likes being out and about, he spends most of his day out in the streets. He does a lot of "low skill" but high strength work, like moving services or construction.

Both hot/cold and coffee/tea are Neither for clay man reasons: Very high and cold temperatures cause him issues in different, equally annoying ways, and he can't eat/taste either, so no preference on food or drink.

Items: The gloves are clay stained, actually, and primarily on the inside. He started collecting first city coins for heart's desire and just has a habit of keeping some on him now. Horse head amulet... fear of death and uncertainty about the particulars of clay men :)

Flower, white rose: Did you know all the funky coloured roses (ie blue or rainbow) are made by dying white ones? :)c

Animal, saint bernard: Big but fairly gentle and lazy, would be a guard dog if asked but is mostly content to just sit

Element, rock slide: Change! Upheaval! Rocks :3

Pembroke:

The pet is her hunting dog, lovely lil thing <3 She doesn't keep many pets as she's a very busy person (and wouldn't want to put that on her poor housekeeper) but a good dog is always useful.

Rude-polite range is because she defaults to, and is usually, quite polite but often is also overcome with the need to be an absolute lil shit. Duality of man <3

Lodgings: Rooms above an ex-bookshop, now her tailoring shop!

Enemies: See: habit of being a chaotic lil shit. Apparently people don't like it when you think their party is too boring and try to spice it up smh

Items: A wedding ring with no match. A pocket watch to keep a tight schedule. A weapon of some sort, picked from a diverse collection. A travel sewing kit for rogue buttons and popped stitches. A hat pin, back up weapon :)

Flower, green dahlia: .......This one's mostly a pun off of Delia ngl

Animal, borzoi: Fancy and elegant looking, but still a hunting dog. Pretty but vicious~

Vincent:

The pet listed is a frost-moth but they have so. many. bugs. The phosphorescent scarabs are also pets. They have spiders. They keep any and every type of bug to either study or have as a pet. Please never visit their flat if you don't like bugs.

Gender: Bureaucratic misunderstanding. They filled out various forms wrong when they were first travelling to the neath, rolled with the neutral pronouns, realised they like it more than they probably should, and simply refused to think about that at all

Logic-emotion range is them trying to lead with logic but also having high anxiety

Lawful-chaotic and apathetic-opinionated are also anxiety, honestly. Though, for the latter, they are just quiet about their more out-there opinions, especially in the realm of politics. It's a culture thing kinda sorta, if I get into that here it'll add like 3 paragraphs at least.

Cultural identity: Catalan! Very proud of that! But won't default to that and will usually say they're Spanish. I can't get into that for the exact same reasons as the last point oops

Allies: This guy ☝ is depressed and isolating themself

Remember vs forget: When you're this far from home, your culture comes just from your own memories that you can't afford to lose. But also fuck wouldn't it be nice to simply forget the things causing you anxiety.

Items: Big round glasses to counter their shortsightedness. Bugs. Anti spider goggles that aren't prescription, both because they were originally lent and because they don't usually need to see very far with them on. Catholic rosary, worn under their shirt. Bugs. Surface currency, specifically Spanish pesetas, sent from their parents. Bugs. Bugs. More bugs.

Flower, forget me nots: Blue, anxiety coded, pretty <3

Animal, mantis: Awkward looking, vibes <3 Also, specifically hierodula papua bcus it's blue!

[monalisaasims]

Fanta Kama-Cole as told by Deacon Cole:

As summer roles around Fanta graces our June issue in what we call ‘Pop-Glamour’ and her husband has all the tea in this first one-on-one interview!

DEACON COLE: Okay… are you nervous? Cos I’m nervous..

FANTA COLE: Why are you nervous?

DC: I don’t know, I don’t want to mess it up…

FC: You won’t mess it up baby, you got this!

DC: haha, thanks for the confidence. Right, so welcome everyone! Im Deacon Cole and im here with my beautiful wife looking at the stunning view of Del So Valley from our back garden as Fanta removes her make up from the shoot wearing my SG shirt that I’ve been looking for since Christmas…

FC: I stole it and never gave it back.

DC: What’s new.

FC: Did you actually not know I took it?

DC: Shhhh, I’m asking the questions.

FC: Fine baby go ahead, I’m sorry.

DC: First question I know you all are dying to know, What’s one item you can’t leave the house without?

FC: Ermm… I’d say my sunglasses!

DC: that’s true, you always have a pair.

FC: I think because we are so open and literally get noticed everywhere having on sunglasses gives me a sense of privacy, even thought I know we aren’t in private.

DC: We have three daughters..

FC: A handful.

DC: Tell me about it. What is something they take from your wardrobe?

FC: You know what’s crazy? Even though they are all very young they each have such distinct styles…

DC: They have alot of personality don’t they?

FC: Yeah Mary, our oldest, is already picking her own clothes and she basically copies what you wear actually…

DC: Mary steals all my clothes, all the time…

FC: Yh she loves wearing your tops as dresses..

DC: …with Jean shorts and black converse’s.

FC: haha you got it. So Mary would be in your closet before she’s in mine. Crystal is very girly and she wants everything pink, so anything in that pastel light pinky colour she would love to steal and Valerie is probably the closest to my style, she’s got a mix going but loves accessories…

DC: she’s another who steals from closet…

FC: haha, Yh she’s accumulated all your sunglasses and caps.

DC: being in a house full of girls really makes me feel special.

FC: baby, you love it I know…

DC: you have been modelling for almost 10 years now…

FC: omg really?!?

DC: that’s a very long time.

FC: it’s flown by honestly.

DC: what’s your tip for new aspiring models?

FC: consistency and drive. No brand is too small for me. I took every job that was offered to me and saw it as experience, even now I try to also work with smaller less know designers. Your never have enough knowledge so be consistent in learning.

DC: Who’s your fashion role model?

FC: Obviously our mums!

DC: Our mothers are real fashionistas.

FC: it’s crazy! My mum dresses to impress for any occasion doesn’t matter what it is and your mum just looks like she never makes efforts but looks stunning.

DC: They out dressed us at our wedding to be honest.

FC: Yeah, they just know what looks good on them. My love for clothes and dressing up came from mum since a young age. I’d always sneak into her wardrobe wearing all her clothes and she loved watching me being creative with it. She was super supportive.

DC: You have a lot of model friends who are successful designers, what have you learned from them?

FC: that I prefer wearing the clothes then making them… I don’t know, the process of designing is so personal and intricate I don’t think I could do it. It’s like how you are with music, I’d get so attach and separating myself from my designs for someone else to wear, I’d find it difficult.

DC: being a creative is hard.

FC: super.

DC: Your always busy, what do you do to wind down?

FC: I think my ideal chill time would be snuggling with you in bed with a glass of wine watching Love is blind.

DC: don’t expose me.

FC: haha, the faces you make every time something unhinged happens is my happiness. Your always at the end of your seat to know what happens next.

DC: it’s crazy how addicted I am to that show, I can’t get enough!

FC: movie nights with the kids is also a nice chill time.

DC: yeah, making memories are what’s important.

FC: definitely.

DC: What music are you enjoying right now.

FC: Baby Ariel just dropped her first album which was amazing.

DC: she’s killing it. Mary is always blasting her album!

FC: Yes, she great but I also love the newest song from you upcoming album.

DC: which one?

FC: sonder. it’s so good! It might be my favourite song of yours ever baby.

DC: shameless plug, the mv is out and it’s stars my wife so go check it out.

FC: shooting the music video was the best thing I’d done all year!

DC: Thank you babe, Lastly what was your favourite look from today?

FC: I can’t choose… I loved all of them! The black sheer dress was definitely a vibe though, which one did you like?

DC: I like them all too. I think the closest one to your style would be the oversized yellow Jack number you had on.

FC: I’m stealing it for sure.

DC: you looked badass.

FC: thank you baby.

DC: that’s it! Thank you all for joining us.

FC: bye guys.

[palehottubchild]

Get to know me

Thank you @sflow-er you know how much j like doing these ahahahhah

Do you make your bed?

Not really, i try to but in reality i never get around to it

What's your favourite number?

3, 9 and 12. NOT 6

What is your job?

i currently have two jobs, one of which is a little hard to explain but essentially boils down to research in healthcare and the other is hospitality in the biggest tourist attraction in my country (which is a seasonal job). two VERY different jobs in very different sectors, hahah

If you could go back to school, would you?

I actually am still in uni and i do not feel any particular wish to go back to high school. I would, however, have chosen a different degree if i could start over again but thats a different story.

Can you parallel park?

Technically yes, i can, but i hate it and it takes ages so i avoid it at all costs.

A job you had that would surprise people?

actually most jobs ive done surprise people, but more so because nobody knows they exist as jobs. In high school i used to do delivery for the pharmacy and as mentioned before now the research job. both things most people dont know are things someone gets paid to do until i tell them hahah.

Do you think aliens are real?

realistically i dont think its possible at all that we are the only planet with living beings on it. i do believe that there are no aliens in our solar system, but i do not believe that in the entirety of the universe only one planet managed to create life. I also think that life might look very different on other planets but im convinced 'aliens' exist in some way shape or form

Can you drive a manual car?

Again, technically i can. but i try to avoid it all costs bc ive only driven automatic cars basically since i got my license lol

What's your guilty pleasure?

reading fic, even more guilty if its from a fandom im technically no longer into but i sometimes just get this weird nostalgic need, you know

Tattoos?

Not yet, i have a design and a place in mind but my family is very strongly opposed to all tattoos and i still see them often enough to be a little bit afraid

Favourite colour?

for clothes, blue or brown. for other things anything in the navy colour palette (so like burgundy and navy and other colours in those kinda hues)

Favourite type of music?

I honestly will listen to anythign that has a recognisable distinct melody (so mostly excluding metal, too heavy rock and some rap) but am especially fond of 2000s 2010s dance music or indie/pop music from anything between the 80s and the 2010s. Not a big fan of what seems to be more modern pop culture but i can appreciate a harry styles or a taylor swift every once in a while

Do you like puzzles?

Yes!!!!! anything that i can use my brain for im down

Any phobias?

creeped out by all bugs and spiders (yes, even the cute and pretty ones) and not a big fan of big animals. slightly uncomfortable at high heights, dont do well in the dark and very very very uncomfortable in small spaces

Favourite childhood sport?

Did gymnastics until i was about 7 and then switched the the loml that was swimming and did that all the way up until uni. hated anything involving running or a ball

Do you talk to yourself?

Not when im alone, sometimes when other people are present

What movies do you adore?

I tend to like any movie i watch. Special mention to knives out, megamind and bottoms though

Coffee or tea?

I like the fancy coffees when im out having a drink or having lunch, at home i prefer tea

What was the first thing you wanted to be growing up?

i dont remsmber what came first exactly but the three professions that had the most prominent part in my youth were hairdresser, teacher and most of all writer. I always liked writing and words and languages and making things but unfortunately that took a stark dive durong high school that im still recovering from lol

as usual consider yourself tagged if you feel like doing this ahah

[boba-beom]

You’re the precious one! I hope he doesn’t make you feel like he made you feel last time. If a friendship does form after this than it’s great if not I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Sorry I’m an Anti-romantic [•_•]

I get shy when you call me a cutie ☺️

I haven’t been out at all. I’ve been home watching movies! Seems like your weather can’t make up its mind. Our weather has been consistently hot.

I saw the bedding they looked so cute love how txt always adds a touch to our lives. As for your sisters nails did she end up loving them? (I’ll be mad if she didn’t since you spend your time doing it for her)

Nothing too exciting let’s how the new week will treat us. I’ve watched modern family it’s really funny!

There is an anime that looks interesting called “say I love you” and I want to start it. There is also this new kdrama called King the land. These are the two shows I wanted to watch!

P.S out of the Jonas brothers who do you think is the best dressed?

Love anon 🧡

thank you for looking out for me <3 I know it's not that much of a big deal but I'll get past it sooner or later. aw hehe why are you shy?? you're adorable aw. the weather never makes its mind up here but it's okay because I'll be going on holiday soon :>

I'm just in luck that the bedding matches the theme of my room hehe and yes! she loves them! we finished around 2am because we had a midnight snack and got distracted 😭 I'm about to do mine today >:) thinking of doing green aura nails to match beomgyu's mesh top from the lullaby photoshoot

I hope the next week will treat you well! I feel like I won't have much time to be active on here after next week so I'm gonna have to start scheduling things >_< I'm still on s1 ep23 but my sister's finished it I think! I used to watch superstore and I loved it sm, same with Kim's convenience but I'm bummed with how it ended :<

oh! I haven't heard of say I love you. I just tried to find it on netflix but it's not on there, is it anywhere in particular? I usually just go on an anime website or smth if I can't find it. King the land! I've seen a lot of people talk about recommending and wanting to watch it, so I'm intrigued to know! but I am still in the middle of alchemy of souls and see you in my 19th life in terms of kdramas!

I think, in terms of recently, joe is the best dressed, he's got his own chill style whereas nick has more of a distinctive style (I'm basing this off of pictures I searched on google), but nick definitely either has a pop of colour or the odd patterned button down. from what I see on kevin's ig, he has more of a simpler style. they each have their own charm but yeah, I'll go with joe ^^ who do you think is best dressed? omg did you ever watch camp rock?! if so, did you prefer the first or second movie?

[littlemissnoname13]

Blaise’s Cup of Tea (D.M)

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader

Warnings: some mentions of alcohol, very mild sexual themes, nothing too explicit, Draco being a fûxkboy ,Draco being a huge simp

Summary: where Draco is secretly in love with his best friend’s fiancée

Word count: 2122

A/n: had this idea in the shower and I couldn’t help myself. The blog has been a mess recently and for that I apologise.

For Draco Malfoy, a typical night usually consisted of three things. 

First, a glass of his favourite spirit; preferably scotch in his hand.

Second, a cigar tucked in between his fingers

And third, a random girl in his bed chambers. It didn't matter if his company for the night shared the same interests as him, it didn't matter if she liked him for who he was or if she liked him solely for being the heir to the massive Malfoy fortune. 

Come morning, he would never have to see her again anyway. 

His Father, Lucius always chastised him for bringing a different girl as a plus one to social events. Even Narcissa wasn't all too pleased about her son engaging in all these hedonistic activities and bedding random girls. 

The friends he’d grown up with were all well on their way to settling down and having children while he was still not even close to having a serious relationship. 

“Why can’t you be more like Zabini?” Lucius would say, everytime the Malfoys sat down for a family dinner. Narcissa would agree to this while expressing her desire for grandchildren and Draco would have to refrain from choking on his dinner. 

Blaise Zabini, was happily engaged to longtime girlfriend Daphne Greengrass and they were busy planning their Summer wedding. 

Every time Draco would meet Blaise for a drink, all he’d talk about was Daphne, the wedding, floral arrangements, invites and party favours. Just last week, Blaise even confessed to having already thought out names for his future children. 

Taking a final sip of his scotch, Draco placed his glass on his desk and returned to his bed, where a random brunette girl was peacefully asleep. 

He took a few moments to recall her given name in his mind but this attempt remained futile. He couldn’t even remember how he felt while they were doing the deed a few hours prior. 

His father was right, he was slowly turning into, for a lack of a better term, “Pig person.”

As he quietly slipped into his bed next to the brunette, he started to think about all the one night stands he’d had in the last few months. 

One night stands are appropriately called one night stands for a reason. He knew that. 

But it wasn't his fault he couldn’t get that one particular night from four months ago with that one particular girl out of his system. 

It had all started out so innocently. 

A chance encounter at a bar, alcohol fueled conversation, his hands on her hips on the dance floor and his lips on her lips by the end of the night. 

He’d never before met anybody so charming yet painfully frustrating in his life. 

Y/n. Y/l/n. 

Distinctive features, expressive eyes and lips that quirked upward with a wicked smile.She had one of those faces that had the capability of engraving itself into one’s subconscious and the way her brows furrowed in annoyance indicated that she might have been aware and unnerved by it. 

In the few hours he’d spent with her, she’d stimulated his brain with her wits and intellect. She’d made him care about uninteresting things like the witch burnings in the 14th Century. She’d challenged his predetermined notions and world view.

Everything about her was vivacious.

Her effervescence reminded him of a freshly opened bottle of sparkling Rosé on a hot summers day. Crisp yet sweet if you took in a moment for the flavours to sink in. 

And Merlin was this girl could kiss!

The way she gently nipped on his lower lip and teasingly traced her tongue left him with something more to be desired. 

Nothing happened with Y/n that night. Nothing except feverish kisses and whispers of “I want you.”

They’d spent the whole night talking. He’d never spent the night with a girl and not done anything before. 

And she’d left before he could even manage to open his eyes the next morning. 

She’d disappeared without a sign or trace.

Nothing but her fruity fresh scent on his pillows remained to remind him that she was in fact real and not some hallucination. 

Draco went the the very same bar again the next day with his hopes held high. He wanted to see her again. He needed to see her again. 

But to his utter dismay, y/n never showed up. 

Soon, it became a habit of his to go to the bar and wait for her.

He’d gotten so desperate at one point that he even interrogated the bar keep about the girl that had seemingly managed to capture his attention in the span of a night. 

But no matter how hard he tried, Draco never got any answers. 

She became nothing but a distant ghost of a rather blissfully perfect night. 

Just when he was about to toss away the memories of y/n and her pretty lips inside a locked and chained box in his head, he heard his house elf appear with a pop into his bed chambers. 

“Master Malfoy, this letter just came for you.” The elf said quietly as he stretched out his arm to hand Draco a sealed envelope. 

Draco would have told his elf off for appearing in his chambers in the middle of the night but decided against it when he saw the scrawl of Blaise’s messy handwriting on the envelope. 

It was two in the morning and a rather odd time for Blaise to be sending him a letter. 

Assuming that it must be something urgent, Draco quickly ripped open the seal and unfolded the letter. 

Draco, 

I write this with a heavy heart and I write this with nothing for company except a bottle of bourbon. 

Daphne left me this morning. 

The wedding is off and it is all my fault. 

To be honest, It did feel like things were going too fast and we were jumping to life altering decisions without taking the time to think and contemplate. 

After thinking all day, I have decided to get married after all. 

Your mother has been rather kind and offered to set me up with a girl that is supposedly “perfect for me.” Although I definitely trust her judgement, It would be great if you could “assist” Narcissa in her search. You are my best friend after all. 

B.Z.

By the time Draco was done reading Blaise’s letter, the girl sleeping next to him had started to toss and turn in her sleep. 

~~~

When his mum flooed into his residence the next morning, Draco’s company for the night, who was named Sylvia by the way, was just on her way out. 

Sylvia was rather laid back and was looking for nothing other than a rebound. Draco had offered her tea but she’d politely declined stating that she had brunch planned with her friends anyway. 

“And who is this charming young lady, Draco?” Narcissa asked. 

“She’s Sylvia and Sylvia was just on her way out.” Draco said in a clipped voice before literally shoving an annoyed looking Sylvia into the fireplace. 

“It was nice meeting you Mrs. Malfoy.” Sylvia said in a calm and polite voice, with floo powder in her hands. “See you around Draco.” 

“And I thought, you were finally serious for once.” Narcissa sighed before sinking down into one of the many chairs Draco had in his living room. 

Draco wanted to say something sarcastic in response but he bit his tongue and held it all back. There were more pressing matters at hand that required his attention. Like helping his mum find an appropriate match for Blaise who has so casually placed such a huge responsibility on his shoulders. 

The responsibility required him to go on multiple, rather tiresome “dates” set up by his mother. 

The first girl he met mistook him for Blaise. 

The second girl he met confessed that she was being coaxed into the meeting by her overbearing parents and had a secret Muggle boyfriend that she loved with her whole heart. 

The third girl he met was one of Blaise’s ex girlfriends.

The fourth girl turned out to be one of Draco’s own one night stands that had ended on a sour note.

It was safe to say that Draco returned to his mother that night with his shirt stained burgundy from the wine she’d poured over his head. He deserved it though.

Narcissa even agreed that he’d deserved it because she broke into a chuckle when her son walked into the Malfoy Manor with drops of wine falling from his blond hair. 

“Well this is a disaster.” Draco muttered to his mother who gave him an accomplished looking smile in return.

“This was a Disaster.” She quipped, before leaning towards the coffee table to pour herself some more tea. “Luckily, I’ve already found someone I deem to be a suitable partner for Blaise.”

“You have?” 

“I have. I too have been pulling some reins and meeting people personally for Blaise. He is like a son to me after all.” 

“Looks like I got splashed with a vintage red for no apparent reason then.” Draco muttered before using his wand to summon a clean cotton shirt. 

Narcissa simply shook her head at her son and stood up from her chair. “I’ve actually invited her for tea today so that you’d be able to meet her as well. Why don’t you fix your hair and put on a clean shirt before she gets here hm?”

Draco knew there was no point in arguing with his mother. 

When Narcissa Malfoy wanted things done, she’d sure as hell go ahead and get them done. A true Slytherin she was. 

He quickly unbuttoned his shirt and used a cleaning charm on his hair. He would have preferred to shower but he didn’t really have the time to dilly-dally around.

“Fancy seeing you here.” He heard a voice say, just as he was about to put on his clean shirt. 

It was a familiar voice and it raised prickling goosebumps all over his exposed flesh.

The goosebumps were a natural reaction to hearing a voice he’d replayed over and over in his head every single night for the last four months. 

In front of him stood Y/n Y/l/n in the flesh. Very much real and not a ghost of his imagination, clad in a blush coloured midi dress with a sweetheart neckline. 

He opened his mouth to answer but his mother beat him to it. 

“Welcome to our home. Sit down, have some tea with us.” Narcissa said in her best hostess voice and all Draco could do was force his hanging jaw shut. 

~~~~~~

The next few hours felt like the longest yet shortest few hours of his life. 

He was still processing the fact that he had in fact seen the girl, the ghost, the memory right in front of his eyes, wearing a dress that made her look like a scene in a vintage film. 

His palms were sweaty, his head was reeling, his throat was as dry as the Sahara and he could barely pay any attention to a word his mother was saying. 

“Draco?” Narcissa cleared her throat when he failed to respond. “Draco dear, are you listening?”

“Yes mother.” He replied curtly before taking a sip of his tea in a desperate attempt to soothe his throat. 

After what seemed like another torturous hour of tea and polite conversation, you thanked Narcissa for having you and leaned in to place a chaste kiss on his cheek before taking the floo network. 

“The Y/l/n family has been a friend to our family for years.” Narcissa commented. “I think Blaise would be rather fond of y/n. What do you think, Draco?”

He wanted to tell his mother about the time he spent with you four months ago.

He wanted to tell her that he was ready for a serious relationship if it was with you. 

He never really cared for the colour pink but it suddenly felt like a rather nice colour. 

You were witty, clever, sincere and extremely gorgeous. Of course Blaise would like you. He’d be a fool not to. 

After taking a few more seconds to carefully contemplate the situation at hand, Draco finally opened his mouth. 

“Yes, I think Blaise would like Y/n.”

Narcissa looked at him with a satisfied smile and the weight of a fully grown giant landed on Draco’s shoulder. 

Maybe you weren't Blaise’s cup of tea.

Maybe he’ll get back together with Daphne. Yeah, that would be perfect. 

But what if he didn’t?

Could Draco live his whole life knowing that he was absolutely smitten with his Best Friend’s soon to be Fiancée?

~~~

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Lots of love as always,

Vi

[spectre-draws]

Hi there! Do you have any art/design tips or wisdom ya can bestow? Your art and designs are super duper inspiring and cool so i was just wondering!

Oh, well, that's certainly very flattering! Honestly I don't really know what to say without any specifics? I guess I can just throw out a few basic tips?

1. Save frequently. I guarantee you at some point in your life whatever program you're using will crash, and losing 5 mins work is preferable to suddenly losing 2 hrs work. Trust me, I've been there.

2. Don't do shadows/highlights in black/white. Generally they'll have a tint to them depending on the lighting, and things end up way too desaturated otherwise. Of course, you can cheat a bit. If I'm drawing in a more cell-shading kinda way, I tend to draw my shadows in pure black on a 50% opacity layer so I can see them very clearly while I'm drawing. Then, bump up to 100%, change layer mode to multiply, colorise and shift the brightness/hue/saturation until I hit something I like. Same thing with highlights but with screen. Then just make a few tweaks for any parts that look off.

3. If you want smooth/clean lineart, try to draw each line in one fast motion. Drawing slow makes you wobble, lots of short choppy lines is impossible to clean up. Don't worry if your lines cross 'over' or extend past where they need to go, you can clean that up with the eraser. Generally if you can draw it in one line, try to do so.

4. Use references. It's not cheating, I promise. If you have a specific pose in mind and a camera you can even use yourself! It's pretty much the only reason I ever take photos of myself.

5. If you're talking like... character design? I'd say the biggest tip is to think about shape... the kind of silhouette your character will make. Give them something distinctive. Maybe it's billowy sleeves, or a cloak, or a funky jacket, or a huge collar, or a puffy skirt, or anything that makes their figure stand out.

6. Second tip for character design is to pick a palette and stick to it. You don't want too many colours or things get muddled. So if you're designing a druid for example, don't use 15 different greens. Maybe pick a light green, a dark green, a brown or two, and then a neutral colour. Try to vary the brightness/darkness of stuff too. It'll create more contrast and make things pop. Of course, that's just a rule of thumb, main point is just not to pick a different colour for every bit of fabric.

7. Flip your canvas. Makes you spot mistakes, essentially tricks your brain into seeing things with fresh eyes. Just don't flip too frequently or you'll get used to both 'sides'. Generally just once when you've completed each stage? (sketch-lines-rendering? idk it depends on your process)

Hopefully that's at least some use? I've been meaning to put together another process video at some point, I've just been putting it off because I can't decide if I just want to throw music over it or talk...

[meandmyechoes]

Star Wars Visions Review Part 3

[Part 1] [Part 2]

TO-B1: This is my favourite animated short in Visions. It is a small story, about a small boy, on a small world. I couldn’t praise more of its art styles, from the crayon main, the print art-like neon daydream, the watercolor landscape, even the wall murals!

My first reaction was laughter. After the dramatic cliffhanger of Lop and Ocho, I was glad I scheduled something light-hearted to refresh my mood. So I crackled at how much Mitaka Hakase looks like Ochaonomizu Hakase (*bows to Tezuka-sensei*) Boy, don’t I love to be wrong, again. I legit teared up when he hides Tobi away. Betrayal!

I like the simple mysteries in this one (where the kyber crystal is and the doctor’s goal) for it is predictable both in that the audience can figure out the answer, and foresee it will be resolved. The moral might be a bit more pointed out than other shorts, but it fits the Pinocchio-esque fable. Love how it says strength is within you and a Jedi seeks no adventure.

Ohhh the print art daydream is my favourite sequence yet I squealed in joy when C-03 gattai with him. I joked about how the last piece of the Japanese jigsaw is a giant mecha and they come at me docking. I love it, love how this short film makes me an innocent child for all 13 minutes of it. Tobi is precious. I love his sacrifice and determination. Pops to Nozawa-san injecting the childlike jolliness and nostalgia.

Besides the Astro Boy homage, the Japanese element is less in cultural symbols (could be since the director is Spanish), but more in the 21st century association of robots mixed with a long history of environmentalism. Robots are likewise central to Star Wars, along with a Jedi's power and - losing arms. I graded it the same balance score as The Village Bride, but unlike putting Star Wars themes in a distinctively Japanese setting, TO-B1 flipped the table and instilled a Japanese art style to tell a Star Wars story. It wasn’t amplifying both accounts but a quieter tale that let the character serve the theme.

5:5 / 10  (Japanese:Star Wars ratio + score out of 10)

Tatooine Rhapsody: Oh no not dead clones. I had no idea Jay has such a sad backstory and I immediately latched onto him if I could more for a striving band member. Vibes remind me of Zombie Land Saga, the absurdist comedy with a pinch of tears they are, and that key nakama morale. Jumps immediately to the point in the plot just so to save time for the performance. Love it when my rock concerts turn into physical brawls. The electric bass actually firing electric bolts is genius. The chibi art style is just right for the uplifting tone of the short. Ironically, for the short headlining music, the number is not as memorable as its fellow’s instrumental score. However I still appreciate the novelty in introducing the musical to Star Wars.

I suppose the characters are inspired by Japanese yokai as Lan resembles an aka oni and Geezer a kappa. But all I can think of is how much Geezer looks like the Father from Atashin’chi and what a plot hole it will explain away if he is Rotta. I love that the character design gave every member an instantly recognizable trait. I enjoyed it thoroughly and would love to meet more of the band members. Found Family is sweet.

The fusion is more subtle. It is reflected in the shonen plot and camaraderie instead of costume or location, but the characters distinctly belong in Star Wars. The Star Wavers is a series I’d love to follow for my nowadays preference for slice-of-life anime.

3:7 / 8

The Twins: By the time I reached this final installment in my binge, my head was already spinning. Fact is, The Twins actually feels the most like it is set in the canon universe around the sequels. Similarly attacks destiny like Akakiri but ended on a hopeful note. I put this last because I know the hype around it, and the absolute crazy fight in space, no thanks to TLJ. It wasn’t until the dub rewatch I noticed how narrative the dialogue is, the same weakness most battle anime have. Not too attached to the twins since I don’t really know about them but I like the colours and the droids.  I am not too captivated by such a common AU. But it does feel on-brand Star Wars over-the-top. I can excuse dark-sider cyborgs breaking the speed of light but I draw my line at protocol droids needing life support

1:9 / 7

Final ranking by personal favourites:

TO-B1

The Village Bride

Akakiri

Lop and Ocho

Tatooine Rhapsody

The Duel

The Ninth Jedi

The Twins

The Elder

[halfway-happyyy]

I'm a day late, but 'New Year’s Day’ by Taylor Swift never ceases to make feel all of the things when I hear it, and that is what this short piece is inspired by.

Their spacious apartment is brimming with people tonight. Friends, friends of friends, a scant few family members- not nearly enough to make it feel like home, to make it feel like Stockholm. It's where they usually prefer to spend the thirty-first of December each year- and she is dismayed to find herself longing for it, but this year, the decision to stay tucked away in their borough of the City had been a mutual one.

He has been the heartbeat of the festivities this evening; an assortment of comfort food from Sweden which he spent the last day cooking, and some of her favourite snacks, lay in an array of dishes on the wooden dining room table, which guests peruse at their own leisure. An ancient tabby- one that she had rescued from the dank alleyway behind a bar a couple of years ago, winds its way through tangles of pant-suited and stockinged legs, blissfully oblivious to the raucous that is about to ensue. His yellowed eyes are keen and utterly uncaring, and she longs to follow him to the bedroom at the end of the hall, where she will lay down with him on the bed, her fingers lost in oceans of soft, ginger fur. What she really wants is to wake up hours from now to the notion that her home is void of people again, the first of January- and the rest of the year, laid out before her like a blank canvas.

“You have a beautiful home,” Someone tells her as they pass by on their way to the snack table.

She means to tell them thank you, but they have already moved on to someone else.

Clocking the watch face on the underside of her wrist, she takes note that they are fifteen minutes away from the countdown and a sigh of relief exits her parted lips in the form of a small puff of air. She couldn't be sure when the switch had occurred, but at some point, being around large crowds of people began to deplete her energy in ways she could never have fathomed before. Where she once thrived on the presence of many people, of myriads of conversations, it now exhausted her to every extent.

A pair of arms, warm and utterly familiar in their touch circle her waist and Alexander drops his chin to the curve in her shoulder, his breath fanning out over her neck in warm waves. “Have you eaten anything tonight, kid?”

She smiles and juts her chin toward the laden food table. “I ate my weights worth in toast Skagen about an hour ago.”

“That’s what its there for,” He laughs.

She turns in his embrace and cocks her head to the side, studying his features. There are no readily telltale signs that he misses Sweden as much as she does, but she knows him better than that. “Are you enjoying yourself?” She asks, mildly.

Alexander grins wide and nods his head, his glassy orbs slightly bloodshot and unfocused, the glass clutched in his grasp is a mere sip away from being void of wine completely.

“Can I tell you something?” She asks.

He nods his head.

“You have to come closer though,” She whispers.

Alexander offers her another wide beam, closing the distance between them again and bends his head low so that she can tell him what she needs to say. “I love you, Alex.”

He pulls away from her, a shyness she hasn’t been privy to in years- and a gruff laugh bubbles up from his throat as he circles his arms around her waist again, ever tighter. “I love you too, kid.”

Ten minutes lapse, and she decides at the last minute to head to the balcony to ring in her new year. She loses herself in the noise of the City around her, in the cacophony of other people’s celebrations. Though its loud, it’s nothing compared to the inside of her apartment and she allows herself a deep breath of fresh air. December (or is it January now?) chill stings her cheeks, makes her feel more alive than anything behind her- save for maybe Alexander, ever did. She can hear them inside now- the choir-like chant of a myriad of voices counting down the final seconds of the year. The balcony door opens, and with it a rush of warm air, and Alexander appears beside her, sporting a headband with golden stars on springs that depict the new year, and flop around merrily in the wind. Wordlessly, he adorns her with the same headband and places two glass atop the metal railing.

“It’s almost time, kid.”

He pops a bottle of Veuve Clicquot on five, and pours for them, the distinctive orange label nostalgic to her in every way. She views him in the scattered lighting around them, clad in a crisp, white button-up, black pressed trousers and multi-coloured socks. Taking a sip of the effervescent alcohol, she revels in the tickle of the bubbles on her tongue, and in the slight sting as they slide down her throat and warm in her belly. The muffled notes of one of their guests inebriated version of Auld Lang Syne can be heard through crevices in the windows and door.

“Three… two… one… Happy New Year!”

He reaches for her then, pulls her frame against his and kisses her like it’s the last time he’ll ever have the pleasure. When he breaks away, they are both breathless and grinning.

“Happy new year, kid.” He murmurs.

Another gust of warm air, as someone steps onto the balcony with them, brandishing a polaroid camera. “Smile, you two!”

Doing as he’s told, Alexander slings an arm around her shoulder, pulling her back into the warmth of his chest. They pose for the shot together and she does smile, and it is genuine.

Their home is void of the last straggler around one o’clock in the morning, the only indications that they were there at all, are in the scattered wine glasses, polaroid photos, and confetti littering the hardwood floor- talismans of a night well spent. She knows it all needs to be dealt with, but the hour is nigh, and her bathtub calls out to her like a siren song. Alexander follows her to the washroom down the hall, where nimble fingers work the zipper down her dress, where she sheds the useless material with an inaudible sigh of relief. She gets the tub running while he disposes of his own clothing, and sidles in to the near-scalding water with a very audible sigh of relief.

Alexander settles in a few seconds later, eyes fluttering shut as he sinks into the blissfully warm, sudsy water before her.

They are quiet as they revel in their first few minutes of aloneness and utter silence, and when his eyes fall open again, he is grinning sleepily.

She quirks an eyebrow in question. “What?”

“You have a piece of confetti on your cheek.” He reaches toward her, a dripping finger brushes the shiny piece of plastic away from her face, leaving a miniscule trail of lavender-scented suds in its wake.

They regard each other with an intensity usually only reserved for painfully intimate times, though she reckons it doesn’t get much more intimate than a bubble bath with your lover. Neither of them feel composed to say much- one of things she loves about him (and there are lots) is that the silence never feels imposing.

He reaches for her hand, takes it in his and brings it to his lips, indifferent to the suds that now gather on them.

“I am eternally grateful for you, kid. For our home, for the cantankerous feline that takes up just the right amount of space, for our life together.”

He squeezes her hand thrice beneath the water.

I love you...

Melancholy- caused by the imminent passage of time, had packed ice around her heart all evening, and now, in it’s place, a warmth gleaned from his words and from the tender way he’s looking at her right now, helps to thaw it out. She takes a deep breath and smiles at him, the promise of looming adventures, of boundless laughter to be had with him, warms her heart ever further.

“Happy new year, Alex. I can't wait to see what this year brings us."

[vargaslovinghours]

Aight well, since I’m pretty sure I’m most of the way out of Vargas brainspace this time around, have some unpublished/unfinished sketches and doodles! Prepare for lots of extremely rough concepts and possibly some walls of text lol

Veryyyy early sketch, the first unfinished one actually! You can tell how early since I hadn’t chilled out on the yarn yet lol. Was looking around for music and while I didn’t add it to the playlist, the male cover of Aishite, Aishite, Aishite is always going to have a special place in the inspiration part of my brain

They be doing homework. I’m so weak to domestic stuff, and every scene with Todd delivers so much, bless him

I threw around a couple card ideas, I’m still undecided as to which one I like better, but I decided pretty early on Jack of Spades and King of Hearts - the King of Hearts is known as the Suicide King which - well. And I’ve always seen the Spade as being like a stabbed version of the Heart lol, and since it’s black it’s the opposite in aesthetic. They both have a pretty dark aesthetic, so if one was going to get red, it seemed right to be Scriabin

A tiny tiny One Way Mirror doodle I didn’t have room for anywhere else. Just turn around!

I have a few iPod scribbles for late-night or early-morning ideas where I couldn’t quickly get to my notebook. This one was right after I woke up from a Vargas dream, pretty much the whole cast was there! This frame in particular stuck out to me because of the composition, it was a fully animated music video and they all had that two-frame back and forth poppy kind of motion, thus all the action lines lol

Don’t trust him with pointy things. I really like how the last one turned out other than his hand

A particularly stupid late-night idea lol

I may or may not have written a kiss scene into the TGWDLM crossover, I swear I didn’t do it on purpose

More of the TGWDLM crossover, you can see I got about 1/4th of the way through this one and then gave up lol. I actually had almost a half page of concept sketches for if Scriabin got Apotheosized - since I use eye colour to signify who’s been hiveminded, how was that supposed to work with Scriabin? Blue scars were pretty prevalent, so how about that? The idea of the two of them being on the same page and actively working together was rather intimidating as well, but it all didn’t go very far since that wasn’t the concept I wanted to explore

The idea of them going to a Cat Cafe popped into my head and I had to quickly scribble it down and then I remembered I don’t know how to draw cats lol. I drew Scriabin freaking out first, a cat among cats lol, and a cat trying to play with the yarn in his hair because cliche

The prospect of them going to the doctor’s just delights me so much. I actually made a little minicomic about it but I never finished it. I’d want to redo it to do it justice because I’m just so excited about them having to deal with this situation lol

An extremely absent-minded doodle lol, I was thinking about Edgar’s watch of all things. I think I did draw this on a Wednesday

Was trying a few pose references to finish digitally and somehow this spaghetti sketch was the best of the three lol. They look like theatre masks

Oh very cursed! Very cursed! Thanks me, how very cursed. I had to tho, this colour is called “Liar’s fave” and it somehow perfectly matches how I’ve been drawing his glasses. I think I prefer the censored version tho haha. Also surprisingly not a TGWDLM reference, I just wanted to draw him with weird coloured eyes

I was thinking about the weird, twisted ways Edgar gets “compliments”, especially from Nny, and the line “Anything in the right context can sound sweet. Isn’t that right, my dear?” accompanied by this pose made it’s way through my head. I didn’t expect the perspective lol

Oh my gosh, a main character, how’d that happen

I wanted to try grawlix swearing and had the idea of Scriabin buying stuff that neither of them would use just to piss off Edgar, so 👏 Also “taking a coat partway off” is one of my favourite kinds of poses and I so rarely draw it! Thanks, Edgar

A combination of thinking about how often they kiss (ironically about how Edgar was Scriabin’s first real kiss After, but this is almost certainly Before?? I dunno) and bruising. I only wanted the second one but my hand was not behaving >:| It did at least give me the image of Edgar’s tears falling through Scriabin’s fingers

He’s never had real eyes before, would he remember to blink if he started focusing really hard? I’ve had eyes my whole life and I forget to blink sometimes

Slowly but surely improving on his wings. I finally realized what they remind me of - hands! I guess that seems obvious lol, demon wings are usually based off bats, aren’t they? Just goes to show how many wings I’ve been basing off arms rather than hands. Probably doesn’t help that I usually draw fingers with two joints instead of three haha. Starting to understand how to keep the silhouette clean while still adding lots and lots of yarn as well, yay

Is he being sarcastic or saying it in earnest? That’s the fun part, you never know! Scriabin being vague on whether he’s being nice or rubbing salt in the wound has appealed to me for quite a good while. I think he less skirts the line and more falls on both sides simultaneously haha

Yet more wings! I liked the idea of each of them having a distinct silhouette but Scriabin still posing behind Edgar, so you can tell his wings are his own but they’re still muddling Edgar’s outline

So that’s most of my unfinished sketches and doodles that I couldn’t figure out where else to put! From early June up through September, what a ride ♪

[couchpotatoaniki]

The books that you posted about really intrigued me. And the books seemed really cool, I was wondering if you have any book recommendations? For any genre.

:0 Someone's asking me about book recs? This has never happened before I'm scared ����😂 So, I suppose I should warn you that a lot of these are fantasy. Also, thank you for taking an interest 🥺🥺

This is gonna be loooooong, so continue to read more. Also, all the links are for the Goodreads pages so you could read the blurb and reviews if you're interested. Word of warning though, these are all of my opinions, so if they don't work for you--that's okay. Tastes are fickle :))

Also, if you have any book recommendations for me or want to talk about books, then please feel free to pop in my inbox because I LOVE discussing and getting excited about books.

Books that I've already read:

The School for Good and Evil series by Soman Chainani--there are six books in total (seven if you include the handbook), but this was one I read when I was around 13/14. It's kinda like a fairytale retelling, where there are two schools; one for good and the other evil. It has a lot of references to folktales and discusses the divides between good and evil, girls and boys, and young and old. It's a story about self-discovery and I just love the characters--especially their relationships and dynamics with one another. Netflix is actually making a movie about the first book and it's going to come out sometime in 2022. Hopefully they don't screw it up 😔😔

A Thousand Nights by E. K. Johnson--I know this may not be for everyone, but I love this book. There is a sequel that I haven't gotten around to reading, but this one specifically was one I enjoyed quite a bit. It's like a retelling of the folktale One Thousand and One Nights (commonly known as Arabian Nights) but with more a fantasy twist to it. It's slow-paced, but it has so much meaning behind it. It paints such a beautiful picture in your head with both the imagery but also has a subtle feminist strength to it through its deliberate choice of words and description--not to mention it has a very strong feel to the pre-Islamic Middle East setting as compared to other retellings like The Wrath and the Dawn, which is much more suited to be classed as YA than this (by no means is that derogatory to any of the books, but it's just to explain how they're so different despite being based off the same folktale). Just read it, it's honestly amazing.

The Sin Easter's Daughter series by Melinda Salisbury--Okay, funny story, I actually read the second book, The Sleeping Prince, first by accident. A problem I have with a lot series, is something commonly known as second-book syndrome--as in, I'm not particularly a fan of the second book in a trilogy series. Once I realised my mistake and read the first book, The Sin Eater's Daughter, I found that I wasn't as in love with it as I was the second, so I thought that might've been just because of the way I read it. But when I read the reviews, I realised that a lot of other people thought the same as me despite having read it in order; the second one was more loved than the first. Unfortunately, I haven't read the third book yet, but I feel like The Sleeping Prince was enough to put it on this list. Once again, this is fantasy with tones of the Pied Piper in it, and there is so much more I could say, but again it would be more about the second book than the first so I won't spoil it for ya. But just sayin', if you wanted to read the second book as a stand-alone, you can do since I myself kinda figured out what was going on and filled in the gaps by myself. This is probably because the first and second book follow different characters (and I assume it switches in the third book, but again, I haven't read it).

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller--now, this GODSEND of a book is one that I rate highly. It's based off the Iliad (so it's heavy on the Greek mythology), though it follows Patroclus rather than Achilles throughout the whole book. If you don't know anything about the story, then I won't spoil it--just know that I knew the story of the Iliad and was in this state of dread the entire time 'cAUSE THERE'S SO MUCH FORSHADOWING. All I can say is that I love the dynamic between the two guys and the story is so heartbreakingly beautiful. Bless 'em 😔😔 But a friend of mine found the writing a little bit confusing (she still loves it) since you kinda have to read between the lines--it isn't blunt. Also, one word of advise I'd like to give on good stories, and specifically plot twists, is that the shock factor may occur the first time you read it but what makes a good story or plot twist is the way it makes you feel--it should still be positive no matter how many times you re-read it. Shock factor isn't everything, so when I read this there was no shock factor for me (I knew what was going to happen from me previous knowledge) yet this book still kept me gripped onto it. I didn't loose interest--and that's part of the reason why I love it.

Caraval series by Stephanie Garber--I put this on the list because of the progression within the books, despite it being fast-paced. Book one follows one of the two sisters during the Caraval who is accompanied by a guy and the whole description was very magical--kinda alluding to the magic of Legend himself (the Caraval Master). In it, there is mentions of what kind of world it is, but it doesn’t really get explained until book two, which follows the other sister to find out Legend’s real identity for a certain reason that I won’t disclose ‘cause it’s a spoiler. This expands a lot more about how the present came to be as it was and also explains a little more about the background for the major characters. Although I’m in the early chapters of the third book and so can’t really comment on it, all I can say is that so far, it brings the two stories more together than they were before as it switches viewpoints between the sisters; I feel like that’s also why I don’t hate the second book in this trilogy, because the first one seems more like a prequel to set the scene while the second feels like the beginning of the actual story, and the third would be it’s conclusion. Okay, so, fair warning, there is a lot of metaphors which mix senses (for example, describing an action/emotion as a colour/image/taste) and I understand not everyone likes that writing style, which is completely okay; I just happen to like it.

Daughter of the Pirate King series by Tricia Levenseller--the main girl, I feel, is either a love-or-hate character. Personally, I don't particularly mind her, since she's just fun to read. There are parts where she tells you just how awesome she is but can't show you because she would give her act away (she's pretending to be a prisoner on a ship to steel a map) but if it was in any other scenario, I would despise that. I suppose my plus points would be for how she reacts internally to what she's doing, you see the whole process going on in her mind--and it isn't perfect, mind you, but the fact nothing is perfect makes it better. Though I could see why people would think she was annoying or the romance was very fast-paced (I prefer a slow-burn, but I don't mind this either). One thing I will say is that there are two characters (one in particular) that I love the dynamics of. Also, there's pirates. I don't think I need to explain further on that point.

Books I'm in the middle of reading that seem pretty cool so far:

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black--I'm halfway through this book and so far I'm really enjoying it. The dynamic between the main girl and her nemesis is just unlike many enemies-to-lovers I've ever read (including online) because they just hate each other so much. Like, she's not gonna be seduced by him and get into a really toxic relationship where her feelings are being taken advantage of. She's grown into being smart, she's grown into being skilled, she's not a love-struck idiot that makes impulsive, nonsensical choices. There are two more books after this and apparently it gets better and the main characters find some ground to not be toxic (again, not sure since I haven't read it myself). Now, this is probably going to get me a lot of hate, but I'm not a fan of a certain popular YA author who has a very popular book series that involves fae. I find this a much more likeable alternative since the faerie are not humans with superpowers and pointy ears. There is actual description, actual difference between the humans and the fae, different rules they live by, two examples being that humans can't eat fae food otherwise [redacted] and the other being the fae are immortal (the kind that doesn't age, but can be killed). There's consistency in the world building and the characters are not too overpowered--and this itself just set above all the other faerie books I've read thus far.

Lost Boy by Christina Henry--this is a Peter Pan retelling that I'm still in the first half of the book. Not got much to say except for the characters are even at such a point are distinct with each other (I can already tell that Peter Pan is a Psychotic Asshole™). It's very impactful, but be warned, it's dark and violent too. I mean, when I say Peter Pan is a Psychotic Asshole™, I mean it with every fibre of my being. And it is a very good origin story to Captain Hook, who you begin to empathise with quite a bit even early on within the book. I also like a few other books from the same author since she delves quite a bit into dark fantasy and story-retellings which I personally adore, but I feel like this one is a good starting point. Either this, or The Girl in Red which is Red Riding Hood is bi and goes on a murder-spree.

The Archived by V. E. Schwab--I've actually got a couple of this author's books but I decided to put this one on because so far I'm enjoying it so far. The atmosphere of the story is very eerie and it gives beginning-of-a-horror-movie vibes. So far I haven't really gotten into the whole thing with the love interests, but there is some in there. I just really enjoyed the whole worldbuilding, the setting and feel of the story was awesome, the writing was really good, and I love the little anecdotes that are put in between Mac and Da (her grandfather). Though I can see why the switching from tenses would be confusing for some, I just really liked it. Again, not much to say because I haven't gotten too far into the story, but so far, it's pretty great.

Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan--oh boy. Now, this book is one I would recommend so far but it needs to be said that it is hard to read. Not because the writing was bad or the plot was crap--no, the writing is really good and the plot is very interesting. It's hard because of the themes that are being addressed within it. I'm not gonna sugar-coat it, it mentions a LOT of sexual harassment, kidnapping, lack-of consent. However, although there are a few books in which this is romanticised, this is definitely NOT one of them. In fact, you feel really bad for the main character and I even felt like taking a break to come to terms with what was being said or described, but this is a story where the main girl does what she can to fight against it. Usually, I skip past the author's notes at the beginning but lucky I read this one because it gave me an understanding of why this was written--the author had been through a similar situation and wanted to raise awareness for any girls currently going through anything remotely close to this situation. It was nice to see that this was something that was being spoken about and I'm so proud of the author for speaking up about her experiences and encouraging others to speak up as well.

Circe by Madeline Miller--if you've already read Song of Achilles and enjoyed it, this was written by the same author and follows a character called Circe. She is actually a side-character from The Odyssey by Homer, so--again--Greek mythology is heavily present in this. I actually haven't gotten around to reading it but I've been promised that this was amazing, and speaks about feminism and females themselves in a world as patriarchal and oppressive as Ancient Greece (let's be honest, they were extremely sexist)

It's Not About the Burqa by various authors, edited by Mariam Khan--this is the only non-fiction book I have on this list because I don't read non-fiction all that much. Reading books, for me, is escaping from reality so reading this genre is going against the main reason I read in the first place. However, that being said, the topic it discusses is very near and dear to my heart as it is part of my identity, who I am as a person. This book, folks, is about Muslim women. It's a compilation of essays written by said women which each tackle different topics regarding Muslim women, ranging from religious dress, representation, mental health, stereotyping, feminism within Islam, expectations, modesty, sexuality, marriage and divorce, and more. One line that instantly hit me was "When was the last time you heard a Muslim woman speak for herself without a filter?" And I realised it was true--that most of the crap I heard about my own people, my fellow Muslim women, are either from men or non-Muslims or (in many cases) both. Reading these really opened my eyes to how we were actually being treated; how our hijabs were being used as a fashion trend rather than a religious observance; how our communities disapprove of behaviours that deviate from what we're expected to be, and the press and state being oppressive and racist towards us. I knew about most of this stuff but it really put into words (quite literally) how severe it is and had made me realise how some of the things I believed were good (like increased representation of Muslims in advertisement for beauty and fashion) were actually only short-term things at face value (like how barely any of the models or designers are actual Muslims and how the hijab, abaya, and other religious clothing were supposed to show how in Islam a woman is not valued by her physical beauty but for her personality, her intelligence, her love for her religion). This in and of itself is a bit of a rant from my part, but I really want people to read this book and understand our voices and our views from our own mouth than through someone else's interpretation off of some half-assed search on the internet. I would seriously recommend people to read it because it is such an important issue to at least try to understand.

There's so many more book that I've heard a lot of praise from that I have but haven't read yet or don't have and am planning to get in the future when my wallet recovers from me recent spending because boy is it HURT. I'll be posting about them

[readyplayerhobi]

Flower | 01

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff, future angst, future smut

; Word Count: 2.8k

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh...incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: This is going to be a drabble series. It’s not planned out, it has no planning. It will be written as and when I get the inspiration for it. The Flower app is inspired by the Bumble app in which women make the first move on it. This is just purely something to try and get me back into enjoying writing again so...please show it and me some love because I already love this Hoseok? I haven’t proof read lol

Flower Masterpost

“Okay...okay. Let’s do this...you can do this. It’s easy. Just...download the app and go. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? Well you could get murdered. That would suck. But it would resolve a lot of issues I guess. On the other hand...I could meet the love of my life. I mean...is that likely?” The soft sounds of your muttering are probably barely heard over the soft playing music through the speakers connected to your television, YouTube playing mindlessly to itself on the screen.

Your focus though, is solely on the phone in your hand. Soyeon, your best friend, had been bugging you to join some online dating sites for a while and it had only gotten worse when your other friend Chungha told her that she fully agreed with her. Part of you felt cornered by them both but another part of you understood them.

They were just looking out for you. You were naturally quiet and shy, introverted and preferring to remain inside or on the sides if you were dragged to a party. An inability to engage in small talk meant that that you struggled to make conversation with people as well. That all resulted in a small circle of friends who understood you well but that was it, everyone else was merely acquaintances who would hang out with you simply because they were friends with your friends.

As such, it meant that you struggled with dating. And by that, you mean that you hadn’t been in a relationship for a long time. Nor could you do flings like some of your friends did, the very thought filled you with anxiety.

This was why they had suggested trying online dating, because you’d lamented to them about how lonely you’d started to feel. You were still relatively young, and you knew that relationships weren’t the be all and end all. But when you haven’t dated since college, it starts to feel like no one is interested in you at all. And that was a hard feeling to take in.

You wanted to be like your friends. To have someone to talk to about things without feeling embarrassed, someone who would enjoy being in your company and actively seek you out, someone to be intimate with. Someone to fall in love with. It sounded cheesy and stupid but both Soyeon and Chungha had taken your concerns to heart.

They’d asked if you wanted to be set up on blind dates but the very idea of that made you lose your breath with anxiety, the fear of failure or judgement from someone who has never met you before overwhelming. So Soyeon had suggested online dating and now here you were, curled up on your couch on a Saturday night, a glass of water on the side because you don’t like alcohol and the app store open to dating apps.

“Tinder...isn’t that just for hookups?” You murmur, frowning as you look at some of the reviews. There were probably people who had managed to get lasting relationships on Tinder, but the idea of having random people actively deciding whether or not you were worth trying simply from a photo or something was horrible. Not that you had any idea how it actually worked, but still…

A few other apps look to be the more traditional online dating route and you consider whether to download one of them. But then you see an app that attracts your attention, a small soft pink and orange logo with the outline of a white flower in it. The title is simply ‘Flower’ and you take click on it to read the description.

‘Find the perfect partner and watch love or friendship bloom like a flower! 

The Flower app asks you to set up a profile by asking you a series of questions to determine your interests and personality. We then set you up with a series of people we consider to be a good match and give you the opportunity to initiate a conversation!

Here at Flower, we want to make sure that dating is fun and most importantly, equal. As such, we allow women to be the one to initiate contact with their matches. This means that if you’re looking for a same sex relationship, then you can both reach out. The same goes if you don’t identify as female or male. If you’re looking for a heterosexual relationship, then you can reach out to your match and he can decide whether he wants to respond. 

We don’t tolerate any form of hate speech or intolerance and will respond with quick action against this. At Flower, we promote inclusivity, diversity and tolerance. We want the world to grow and bloom with love, one relationship at a time!’

The reviews for the app seemed to back up their description and you felt curious. An impulse takes over and you download it, tongue sticking out as you wait before loading it up once it’s done. The interface is clean and take a moment to chew your lip before clicking the sign up button.

Everything seems to be rudimentary at first, asking for your age and location, name and occupation. But then it starts to ask some other questions. Your favourite film genres, a list of favourite films, your favourite books, where you’d like to go on vacation, favourite music and songs and so much more. Some of it felt bizarre, like would you rather eat chicken or beef? Would you rather drive an Audi or a Ford?

You presumed it all had a reason though, and after what felt like five minutes of answering questions, you finally had a profile. Flicking through the gallery on your phone, you found a picture that you felt was flattering while still showing your personality. It’s from a few months ago and was taken with a Polaroid camera, giving it that distinctive filter that always seemed to be flattering everyone.

You were giving a small smile, eyes looking to the left of the camera while your chin was in your hand. Nose wrinkled slightly, a soft and fluffy white cream sweater covers you while a cherry blossom scarf is wrapped elegantly round your neck. And on top of all that...a bright yellow Pikachu hat sits on top of your head.

It had been your birthday and the girls had managed to coax you out for dinner before presenting you with a bunch of presents. They’d been a random assortment, as usual, but you’d loved it all. A skin care gift set, the Pikachu hat and a Pusheen stationery set. Your colleagues at your admin assistant job had given you the side eye when you’d added yet more cute and strange things to your already colourful and cluttered desk but you’d ignore them.

This picture had been one of the best taken of you recently and you smiled gently as you made it your profile picture. You didn’t like being photographed, constantly convinced that you were unattractive but your friends were convinced otherwise.

Everything looked to be set up and you wondered what you meant to do now, when a sudden notification pops up on the screen with ‘20 Matches Found’. Sudden anxiety makes you feel sick, stomach rolling with nerves as your veins practically fizz as you click on the view more button. These were people who the app had compared your own answers to and considered to be the best matches.

There’s a tiny moment of waiting as a tiny flower in orange and pink blooms and you sigh when it finally clears. The profiles are shown in descending order with those most matched to least. A tiny refresh button in the corner let’s you see that you can refresh your matches if necessary.

Each profile shows their profile image, their name, age and location. Scrolling through them, you note idly that you seem to have got a wide range of people that you had matched with. A 24-year-old swimming instructor named Kim Chaeyoung, a 31-year-old high school English teacher named Seo Jinwoo, a 29-year-old mechanic called Park Jisoo and more.

It was interesting to see the wide range of people that had come back and you perused their profiles carefully, reading the little description they’d written for themselves along with a few answers to questions similar to what you’d had to answer. The app seemed to pull a range range of questions for you read, with each person’s being slightly different.

You supposed it meant that you would need to ask for that information and you found yourself curious about one or two people, pressing the little button that indicated it would bookmark their profile for later viewing. Apparently you had a week to make the first interaction before it would vanish.

Humming lightly, you wondered if anyone would be interested in talking to you? 

Everyone looked so pretty on here and you wondered if you matched up to them. Would they consider you worth their time? Biting your lower lip, you shrug your shoulders and decided you had nothing to lose really. You didn’t know these people in real life and no one would laugh at you for simply reaching out and trying to make a connection.

You come across one profile that makes you pause though, your brow lifting in surprise as you wonder why on earth the app has matched you with this guy. The two of you don’t even look like you come from the same planet, nevermind have enough aligning interests to warrant being in your top 20 matches at the moment.

Clicking on his profile, you read through his basic info question while you purse your lips, making soft noises in your throat.

Jung Hoseok. 28 years old. IT Technician. 

He sounded pretty normal and you wouldn’t even give it a second thought normally, but his appearance did not match the casual job description he had. Maybe you were just being stereotypical here, but most of the IT people in your workplace were of the nerdy looking variety. And you only say that because every one of them wore some form of Rick and Morty or other pop culture shirts.

Which you were fine with, because you enjoyed most of the same things too. But no one looked like this guy.

The reason you were so surprised was because of his profile picture, and despite your earlier thoughts about just sending messages to everyone for the sake of it, you felt a well of anxiety rising again as you looked at him. This guy is quite possibly the most handsome man you’ve ever seen, the kind of guy that people only think exists when they’re rich and famous.

But he’s also completely unlike you. He’s evidently at some sort of event as he has a bottle of beer in his hand while his other hand is making the metal horns shape. One eye is closed to camera, winking while his tongue is poking out of his mouth on one side, white teeth visible beneath pink lips amidst gold skin. A silver ring pierced his lower lip on the right while a small ball is visible in his tongue.

His hair is jet black, gleaming in the crappy lighting in a messy state that looks slightly wet while his exposed skin has a sheen of sweat on it. A red and black shirt unbuttoned on him, rolled up to his elbows to reveal toned forearms that are completely covered in vibrant and bright colour.

The tattoos make what you presume to be full sleeves on both arms, his left arm appearing to be a swirling galaxyscape with brilliant galaxies, planets, moons and more interwoven with, bizarrely, dragons that are almost transparent. They look beautiful though, and you get an image of space dragons made of fine dust flying through the vast expanse of space as you look at them.

His other arm looks to be a mesh of things together, flames and flowers and skulls and ships. None of it makes any sense to you, but you’re positive it probably means something to him. One of the sleeves expands onto his hand, the one showing the horns and you eye the clock tattoo that takes up the space.

His tattoos look to expand beyond his arms as the black top beneath his shirt gives tantalising glimpses of the black and colour tattoos that obviously sprawl across his chest. Strands creep upwards, almost to his neck and you get the impression of something fiery, the soft wisps of red and orange looking like burning embers on his skin.

This guy...looked like he belonged in a metal band or tattoo shop. And he was...beautiful, way out of your league. 

Which was why you had to have experienced an out of body moment when your finger presses the message button, the screen popping up with an automatic message pre filled out for you.

“Hey, Flower shows that we’re good matches so I’m reaching out to you! If you would like to talk to me, please respond!”

Scowling, you deleted the message, deciding it would be bad manners to just send the template message to someone that you were attracted to. That thought gives you pause, acknowledging that you are in fact attracted to him. He looked like the kind of guy who would take one look at your profile and laugh himself home at the prospect of doing anything with you.

The man clearly thrived on social situations, enough of his profile gave that away and again you wondered why the app matched you together. Maybe he had some secret love of Pokemon or something. Looks could be deceiving, obviously.

And even if you’d never listened to a metal song in your life...you were always open to trying new things. If you were going to open yourself up to the prospect of online dating, then you may as well go fully out of comfort zone.

Swallowing, you carefully type out a short message and spend the next five minutes reading it over as anxiety and fear swirl within you. Indecision causes you to wonder whether you should just delete it all and ignore his profile, going for the safe option of someone who looks like they’d be more accepting of you on your list.

But the allure of something so unlike you pulls you in and you press send, watching the message swoosh away and changing his profile to a soft pink to indicate that you’d initiated contact. Almost immediately you feel sick, body going cold as you pant ever so slightly.

Oh god, he’s going to read that message and take one look at your profile then delete the message. He probably had hookups all the time, the kind of guy you shouldn’t get involved with. You had no interest in being a one night stand and- you shake your head, clenching your teeth and taking a deep breath.

Stereotypes are damaging to yourself and others, you tell yourself quietly. There’s no reason to paint him with a negative brush already when he’s not even had a chance to do anything. And so what if he only wanted hookups? It was the 21st century, men and women could sleep with who they wanted, as often as they wanted and they shouldn’t face the prejudice you’re showing him already.

Before you can even think anything else though, your phone sends out a soft, melodic note and you look down with wide eyes. The message icon has an orange notification on it, signifying that you have a new message on there. Hesitating, you wonder if it’s just one of those generic ‘welcome’ messages that you sometimes get when you sign up for sites.

But the name of the sender tells you very much that it’s not a generic message, and the cold fear mixes with nervous excitement and trepidation as you see Jung Hoseok’s name. He must have already been on his phone to have responded so fast, and you wonder if he’s just sent a polite ‘thank you but no’ back.

It would be awfully nice of him if he did. Embarrassing, but polite.

Opening the message, your jaw drops and eyes widen as you read what he’s responded with.

You: Hi. I don’t know how to use this properly, so I’m sorry if I do it wrong. You showed as a match and...well I guess I say I’m interested? Not as a friend, unless you want that. I mean...the other way. Feel free to say no! Y/N

Reading it back over, you cringe at how...you it sounds. Hesitant and awkward and shy. Dammit, why couldn’t you just seize the moment and sound confident for once? Say something bold that would attract his attention.

And then you read his response.

Hoseok: Hey Y/N. Thanks for reaching out. How are you tonight?

[isitgintimeyet]

Just A Friend

Hope you are all having a good weekend. I’m the only one awake, the sun is shining and I’m enjoying my coffee in peace and quiet. Bliss!

Thank you for the continuing support for this story. it’s lovely reading (and re-reading) all the comments.

Hope you enjoy this next chapter.

Thanks to @wickedgoodbooks for the beta.

AO3

Previous Chapter

Chapter 3: From Relationship To Release

You know, I’m a great believer in relationships. Relationships come in all shapes and sizes — take my relationship with Geillis, for example.

I met Geillis on my first day of postgraduate training at Glasgow Royal Infirmary. I was spending three months in orthopaedic surgery and she was just finishing her training as a theatre nurse. We somehow kept bumping into each other at social gatherings and found we had many things in common — a childish sense of humour, an intolerance of pomposity and snobbishness, and a love of cheesy rom-com movies.

From there, our friendship snowballed, and for many years now, I’ve called her my best friend. Even the arrival of a fiancé and her forthcoming nuptials haven’t lessened our relationship in any way. Our careers have developed in parallel too. So when a vacancy came up for a senior theatre sister at the Children’s hospital, I didn’t hesitate to recommend her for the post. We work well together. For all her joking around and flippant comments she is damn good at her job. And I love her.

I don’t think I love many people. I’m very fond of a lot of people, mainly my friends. But love? No. And certainly not the romantic, live-our-life-together type of love.

I see how it can work. I look at Robbie’s parents, for example. The way they are there for each other, supporting through all the worries with their son, their comforting touches and reassuring glances.They are a solid unit and I admire that.

I also see the way that Geillis’ face lights up when she talks about her fiancé, Dougal, and the way he watches her when we are all together in the pub. And I think it’s great, I really do.

But it’s not something that I’m seeking out for myself. I don’t think I’m cut out for that type of relationship. I don’t think there is someone out there, my soulmate, to spend the rest of my life with. And I definitely don’t think that I need someone else to complete me, make me whole.

That doesn’t mean that I’m a hermit. Far from it, in fact. I do date and enjoy it, but try to steer clear of any where-is-this-relationship-going type discussions.

It may well be to do with my childhood. I’ll admit, I’ve not had the most normal upbringing and that could have coloured my view of happily-ever-after love.

I’ve never been part of a conventional family unit. Well, I mean, I was for the first four years of my life —until my parents died in a car accident. And, at that age, how much can you remember? I do have some vague memories — rough tweed fabric against my cheek as my father’s strong arms lift me up, the smell of ‘Miss Dior’ perfume as my mother’s soft hands caress my cheek, the sound of laughter as we dance around the living room to Michael Jackson. But these are only fleeting recollections, ephemeral, gone in an instant.

All my real childhood memories are centred around one man — my uncle, Lambert Beauchamp. He, unhesitatingly, took me in when my parents died and became my guardian, my parent, my rock. He and I were a team, and I miss him every single day.

He was a confirmed bachelor, and I don’t mean that in a euphemistic way. He lived his life by his own rules and if he had been gay, he would have seen no reason to hide it. No, he had no need for romantic entanglements, no complicated relationships, no messy sexual encounters. He had two loves in his life — me and his work. He was a professor at the University, teaching archaeology and could, quite happily, get lost for hours in the bowels of the archives, studying ancient Somarian drinking vessels.

Growing up he was my role model, my yardstick against which to measure boys.

And over time, I've come to realise that I've always found myself attracted to the type of men which have certain ‘Lambert-esque’ qualities. Which leads me, I suppose, to Frank.

Just like my uncle, he’s a professor at the university. In history — more recent than Lamb’s studies only three hundred years ago, not three thousand.  He’s single minded about his research, like my uncle, and he cares deeply about me, which makes me feel bad because I don’t feel the same way. Of course, I care about him, just not enough for a serious relationship that’s going somewhere.

All of this is a long winded way of saying what I’ve actually known for a while now... I need to break up with Frank.

*************

I’m just contemplating whether to brave the canteen or grab a sandwich from the hospital shop, when there’s a knock at my office door and a hand appears brandishing a couple of distinctive Gregg’s paper bags. This hand is closely followed by the rest of Geillis, who plonks herself down on one of my visitor chairs. A wonderful aroma of freshly baked goods wafts across the desk. My stomach rumbles in anticipation.

“Steak bake or sausage roll?” she asks as she places both bags on my desk, although she knows my preference.

“Ooh, how did you know I was just thinking about lunch?” I pick up one of the bags, the oozing gravy on its surface being a clear giveaway.

“We’ve been friends fer long enough,” Geillis smiles. “I ken what ye’re thinking. In fact, ye’ve something on yer mind right now. No’ a work thing. C’mon, spill.”

I swear, it’s uncanny. In the Middle Ages Geillis would undoubtedly have been tried as a witch. Her powers of deduction are that good.

I say nothing for a moment and focus on my lunch, blowing ineffectually on the hot meat filling.

“Weel? I’m waiting and ye ken I’m no’ a patient woman, Claire. This is tae do wi’ Frank, is it no’? Are ye planning on dumping him?”

See what I mean? Witchcraft.

“You make it sound so harsh. But I can’t carry on with Frank, he’s investing more into this… this—“

“Ye can say the word, Claire. Relationship… R… E…—“

“I know, I know. But I have to do something. I know Frank wants more than I want  to give in this ‘relationship’.” I  enunciate clearly just to make the point to Geillis. I’m not afraid of the word… I can say it.

“Anyway,” I add casually as I dab at the pastry crumbs with my finger. “I thought you’d be pleased. I know you’ve never liked him.”

Geillis tuts. “‘Tis no’ a matter of like. We jes’ havena got anything in common. He’s awfa serious and ye dampen yer personality down when ye’re with him. I’ve seen ye, ye canna deny it.”

I try to interject, but Geillis ignores my sounds of protest and carries on talking. “But it’s no’ jes’ Frank. Ye do this all the time, Claire. Whenever anyone tries tae get serious, ye run. What is wrong wi’ wanting a relationship anyway?”

“I have my work, I have my friends. I date, I go out with men, I have a good, if sporadic, sex life… and a trusty dual speed vibrator. What’s wrong with me wanting my life the way I want it?”

Geillis crams the end of her sausage roll into her mouth and chews vigorously for a minute. I pass her a paper serviette for her greasy hands. She gathers up the flaky pastry crumbs that have settled on her chest, wraps them in the serviette and pops it neatly in the bin.

“Ok, I get it. I’ll back off. But all I’m saying is dinna close yerself off tae the possibility of a real relationship, aye?”

Knowing she's gone as far as she can with this topic, she gets up and heads for the door. “Nae rest fer the wicked. Oh, and Claire, jes’ one thing…”

She pauses dramatically. “Dinna forget… ye’ve gravy on yer chin.”

And with that she disappears, leaving me with a heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach caused by more than the calorie ridden pasty.

I am just settling down to dictate some patient letters when Frank texts to suggest dinner at my favourite Italian restaurant. This isn’t good. It’s a lovely restaurant, the kind of restaurant where special occasions are celebrated— birthdays, anniversaries, declarations…

So I have to lie… no, not lie, fib. I text back pleading a heavy day in theatre — aching feet, headache and so on.

His concerned response makes me feel bad. No need for fibbing, I do feel pretty shitty now. However, it also makes me more resolved to do what I have to do. I can’t drag this out, causing him more and more hurt. So, I invite him to my flat this evening instead.

*******

I have a final glance in the mirror in my bedroom. I do actually look a bit worn out. I haven’t really put any makeup on, just a touch of mascara and a slick of lipstick, which I have already managed to chew off.

My hair is, as per usual, a bit wild and untamed. I have a bathroom shelf full of products promising smooth and manageable curls, but have yet to find one that actually delivers on their promises. I tuck my hair behind my ears, pinch my cheeks to try to look a little less pale and head to the front door.

Frank is as punctual as ever. Unlike other things in my life, he’s always delivering on his promises. Which makes me feel even worse. I have nothing to accuse him of, no unacceptable behaviour— apart from wanting more than I’m prepared to give. That old cliché, “it’s not you, it’s me”, really is appropriate here. I’m going to try not to actually say those words though. He deserves more than that.

And so I take a deep breath and open the door. He stands there expectantly with two bottles of wine, one red and one white, in his hands.

“I wasn’t sure what we would be eating, so I got both just in case,” he volunteers as he walks in and leans close to me for a kiss.

I give him my cheek and make a fuss of taking the bottles from him to deflect my lack of affection.

He follows me into the lounge. I’m sure he notices that I make no offer to pour the wine. I set the wine on the coffee table and perch on the end of the settee.

Frank takes my hands. “Claire, darling, are you ok? Has it been a rough day?”

I shake my head. “It’s not been the best. Frank… I…”

I can’t even look at him now. I take a deep breath and plunge in. “Frank, I… the thing is… I don’t know how… I think we should stop seeing each other.” The words tumble out of my mouth like a deluge.

I finally look up as Frank releases my hands and walks over to the window. He stands still, his back to me, as if just taking in the view. Then he turns to face me, staring intently at me, scrutinising my face as if looking for a glimmer of hope. The silence is unbearable.

“Frank, it’s not you—“ I try to fill the void, by resorting to stale old clichés after all.

“Spare me that platitude.” He snaps at me. “We’re not fifteen. This was… is… serious to me, Claire.”

Frank now moves to sit next to me. His hand rests on my thigh, his fingers lightly drawing circles on my jeans. I watch for a moment. Am I supposed to move it? Should I remind him he no longer can touch me like this?

His voice softens.  “I lo—“

“No, please, Frank. Don’t say it. Please don’t. You are such a nice man. You don’t deserve this.” Gently, I lift his hand and  place it on his leg.

“Then don’t do it. Tell me, Claire, what do I have to do? What changes do I have to make for us to move forward? I’ll do it, tell me. We can make this work, I know.”

What do I say now? Anything I say will only hurt him more. All I can do is apologise and try to explain.

“I am sorry, really. It’s just, well, you want more than I can give. You think about a future—“

“And what’s wrong with that? That’s what most people want, Claire. Planning for a future together— a home, a family… our family.” Frank’s getting angry now, raising his voice.

“Please, I’m trying to explain. You want a future life together and I can’t give you that. I’m sorry that I’m hurting you.”

“Is there someone else? Is that what this is all about?”

I’ve been trying to remain composed, to give Frank the explanation he deserves. But this question annoys me beyond belief, as if I have to be one half of a couple.

“I can’t believe you asked that. No, it’s not about another man. I can’t be what you want me to be and that’s it.”

He stands up now, right in front of me. His hands are down by his sides, so tightly clenched into fists that his knuckles are white against the slight tan of his skin. For a fleeting nanosecond, I wonder if he is going to hit me. But, of course not, he’s just trying to gain control of himself.

“That’s it, then.” The words are spat out with venom.

“You know I’m sorry.”

He shrugs dismissively. “Of course. Well, goodbye.”

He makes for the door.

“What about the wine?” I indicate the two bottles, still on the table. It’s a pointless trivial comment, I know, but for some reason I don’t want him to think I expect to keep them.

Frank doesn’t even look over his shoulder. “Consider them a parting gift.”

And with that, he's gone.

I remain sitting motionless, processing what I’ve just done. It’s not easy hearing those words, but neither is it easy to have to say them. So many emotions are coursing through my body — sorrow, guilt, regret, self-reproach, worry. And in the midst of this maelstrom, there is one thing I can clearly recognise — a glimmering spark of relief.

[cosmic-navel-gazin]

This is something a bit different from me, but in light of the recent announcement from Ubisoft that there’s going to be a remake of Prince of Persia: Sands of Time coming out in January 2021, I thought I’d share some thoughts.

(This started out small but got outta hand so super long post incoming, no spoilers for the games)

So first off, a bit of my history with the original game.

 I’m a big fan of the Prince of Persia (PoP) franchise, and I’ll fully admit that nostalgia plays a big part in it. You see, in many ways this 2003 classic was my real entryway drug into the world of videogames.

It wasn’t the first videogame I had ever played. My friends had consoles, there were some games on the school computers, but I didn’t own games as a kid. As far as my parents were concerned, these were all the spoils and soul damning devices of Lucifer himself. You know how it is, every generation goes through this thing of blaming all the world’s problems on a new artform: rock and roll, comic books and then videogames.

So yeah, a gaming console or buying games for the home computer was a BIG NO-NO! 

But of course, the more an authority figure says you can’t have something, the more you want and crave it. It was only a matter of time until the opportunity presented itself to me.

And then the day finally came.

It was just me and a couple of friends, going to this new magazine store near the school. And there it was: the dvd case that came with a gaming mag for like 5 euros if I remember correctly, stupid cheap for such a great game. 

There was doubt, there was fear, there was anxiety. I didn’t know much about the game, only the old 1989 DOS Prince of Persia:

This had the same name but looked different. I was seduced immediately.

The case stared longingly at me:

 It’s not my fault, I was bewitched and I bought it.

My symbol of rebellion, my first big transgression, and my first real treasured posession that I bought with hard earned money.

PoP:The Sands of Time was my original sin so to say:

Accurate representation of what happened that day

I furiously installed the game as soon as my parents left the house. Played it for a couple of hours and stood in awe at the thing - the cinematics, the cool parkour moves, the arabian nights setting, the time manipulation to undo mistakes when platforming or in combat, the Prince breaking the fourth wall saying:”no no no, that’s not what happened, let me start over” whenever I died and got a game over…

You have not experienced true fear if at some point in your life you didn’t feel the cold sweat running down your back as you hear the very distinct sound of your parents’ car arriving when you’re doing something “prohibited”.

 As soon as I heard that sound, I quickly quit the game, uninstaled it (I could not run the risk of them finding out I had tainted their machine with a videogame *gasp!*), and ran to my room to hide the game before opening the door for them. 

Neetheless to say, I never made much progress since I had to start over every time after quitting and uninstalling the thing. I would just play those first couple of hours over and over, never knowing how the story progressed, but I was happy all the same. At one point I knew every line of dialogue, every music cue, every sound effect of that beginning part. It would be some years before I got my first laptop and finally managed to complete it. 

All of this to say that the game means a lot to me. Not just as a product or piece of entertainment. This wasn’t casually playing on someone’s gameboy advance or PS2 to have a bit of fun and pass the time.

 This was more intimate.

 It was just me; the game; a dark room and a blanket; and a sincere and charming, simple but compelling story told seamlessly through mechanics that only enhanced it. This was me witnessing gameplay and storytelling going hand in hand in a way that even many of my other favourite games don’t do, or don’t do as well (there’s usually some disconnect where a game only manages to really excel at one but not the other).

Ok, so on the announcement and trailer:

As a big fan you might think I was super hyped for this. 

But I gotta say…no, not really.

I’m not super angry, but I’m not really excited either honestly. And I don’t think it’s just the rough and uncanny character models and animation that people are pointing out all over (although that doesn’t help).

I guess to talk a bit on that, I should stress out that my problem isn’t that it doesn’t look realistic enough. To be honest, and this is going to sound rich from a big Witcher 3 fan, I think that the gaming industry overall, moreso big tripple A titles, seem to have this unhealthy obsession with photorealism. Like, I don’t need to see the characters’s pores to care about these polygon people. Strong art direction is what I feel is more valuable. I just don’t think this arms race to photorealism is sustainable. Games are taking longer to make and fund, and I’d rather have dev teams spend more time polishing and refining the games’ mechanics and/or story if the trade-off is less “realistic” graphics.  

It might just be personal preference, but I wish we were getting more stylized character and world design. Go look at some screenshots for Pathologic 2, a game that came out last year that hits that sweet spot between full-blown cartoony/caricature and realistic by today’s standards:

And I think that is somewhat what they were going for with this remake’s character models (or I hope it was). But it’s still not quite there, hopefully they’ll work on improving those so they can hit that sweet spot also.

(in defense of my hipocrisy and love of The Witcher 3, I think the more realistic look was appropriate for the world they were portraying, it benefits from it. However I don’t think I would love it any less if it had less detailed models and environments)

One last thing on the graphics.

I will say this though, at least from the footage we see in the new trailer the team seems to be capitalizing on colour. Big vibrant reds, blues, whites and yellows in the environment look great, and really captures the 1.001 nights/arabian nights feel that I absolutely love. I appreciate that since there’s always this tendency for remakes to suck all the colour and life from the original (in both games and movies), regardless if it fits the setting and tone or not.

Anyway, I think the reason I’m very much without a big reaction is that I believe the 2003 original is a true classic, a masterpiece even - I guess I should stress out that when I say masterpiece, I don’t mean it’s perfect. Just that the whole is bigger and better than the sum of its parts, that the things it does right, it does so right, that it completely overshadows the flaws. 

The story, the art direction, the gameplay (the holy trinity of platforming, combat and puzzle solving), the brilliant introduction of the dagger of time as a gameplay and story mechanic (one of my favourite mechanics in all of gaming), the music, the charming duo that is the Prince and Farah, the tight pacing with the game being just the right length and not overstaying its welcome, the outstanding level design where you’re never stuck doing one thing for too long (the game is always juggling between combat, story, platforming and puzzles, mixing and matching)… 

Looking at all these things, I just really don’t think we need a remake because I don’t think there’s that many glaring terrible flaws that could justify it. 

Adding more scenes and content could be good, or it might backfire: bloat and ruin the game’s already excelent pacing and fluidity (which I think is the main keyword that better describes the original, everything flows superbly). The original was only 6-8 hours long and it is better for it. I’m not confident that adding dozens of hours of gameplay like the big tittles today would help at all.

The only real improvements I can see are: 

tweeking and perfecting the combat (I’ve seen it mentioned that they’re implementing a targeting system which sounds good); 

perhaps also better Farah’s A.I during combat when you have to help protect her from swarms of enemies;

Maybe throw in a couple more enemy types? The cut sand tigers for example? 

usual things like adding the option of subtitles, add the ability to skip cutescenes;

But other than that…

I don’t even think the graphics of the original look bad. They’ve aged of course, with the game being 17 years old, but still. I installed it last night and played through the first hour to take some screenshots and I think they’re still good:

I can understand the MediEvil remaster, the Spyro remaster or the more recent FFVII remake in terms of wanting to update the graphics. I can understand that not everyone can easily go back to these low poly lads:

 But this game? I know I’m influenced by nostalgia and all, but I don’t think it needs that makeover that badly, especially when compared to these other remakes and remasters. Funnily enough, I just noticed that these examples I just listed were all PS1 games. PoP: SoT was a PS2 , PC and Xbox game. PS2 era games have aged far better visually and don’t need that big a makeover in my most humble opinion.

It would be one thing if the original was out of print like a Rule of Rose scenario ,where you can’t find the game unless you go to ebay or something and it’s stupid expensive. Or if it was a pain to get running on modern systems like it was with Grim Fandango, until it got a remaster. 

But no, you can find the Sands of Time trilogy and the PoP (2008) reboot on GOG and Steam (on Steam only there’s also the PoP:The Forgotten Sands midquel). So there isn’t the usual problem of the game no longer being accessible to people who want to play it, which helps justify the need for a remake.

The original still plays nice, sounds nice and looks nice, so I guess this all goes to show that at the end of the day, this remake just feels a bit unnecessary to me, at least from what little the trailer showed (I would love to have my bitter cynical ass proved wrong though!). 

 Maybe I just have a superhuman tolerance for older games and how they look, I really don’t have that big a problem if the game itself is good or interesting, so I don’t always think older games need remakes.

Maybe my falling out of love with Ubisoft in this last decade has curbed forever any hype I might have for their announcements, even when they pull out my  son, my baby boy Prince of Persia out again.

 Maybe I’m just burnt out and too pessimistic about remakes, remasters and adaptations (although game remakes usually do better than film ones).

And this makes me a bit sad because I don’t want to sh*t all over the first piece of “new”  Prince of Persia content we’ve had since 2010??? Oof, it’s been a while.

Especially knowing that Yuri Lowenthal is coming back and excited to voice the Prince again. And I also don’t want to be too harsh since we’re looking at an alpha of the game. But so far I’m just very numb to this, I do seriously hope it turns out good and that they don’t rush it out the door. But I’m not convinced we need a remake in the first place. The original is a milestone, a game changer. I’d rather see a game that had great ideas and poor execution being remade than something people already love and consider a masterpiece.

 Guess we’ll see how I feel once more news and footage come out.

Oh and feel free to share your own thoughts on this remake. I’m curious to know what both fans and newcomers alike think.

small edit: I can’t believe I was just watching this Sands of Time playthrough on youtube and at one point it is said: “Another game that is designed similarly to this is Soul Reaver actually.” 

Of course! I didn’t even see it! All of my favourite things are connected!!! Maybe that detail was another thing that helped me getting really into Soul Reaver as I was first playing it.