#i promise you are not going to get cancelled for making gay characters kill people/each other bc when has that ever been a problem dude

[bonetrousledbones]

at this point i’m convinced folks saying “people ONLY want perfect unproblematic queer characters but I’M different and want them to KILL” are just making up guys to get mad at because who. literally genuinely who are the people that only want flat/”perfect” queer rep i haven’t seen a single one since like 2018 but i’ve seen like 6 posts like this in the past week

[transsexualhamlet]

tg anime vs manga *sighs*

i have the power of hyperfixation and anime on my side! AAAAAAAA

Ok now that we’ve gotten the sins of re post out of the way we need to discuss this. And I just feel that this needs to be covered because I can’t ever get away from constant discourse on this, mostly fueled by manga readers who feel entitled to always think they’re superior for reading the manga, that the manga is the only real canon, that it’s more complex or better, I’m so fucking tired of it. I am also a manga reader, and I tend to get like that sometimes too with many series (for example no. 6 and the promised neverland.) I get it. It can be really annoying to see something butchered on screen to what the original is, changed or represented differently or given a different message or simplified. But just. Some people like the anime and it’s not a goddamn holy war for y’all to fight. It only makes anime fans not want to read the thing even more yknow cause manga readers are pretentious assholes, and I am aware of this as one of them.

(again ok i’d like to mention i know this fandom is basically dead but a certain p*nterest is always like 4 years behind on fandoms so i keep fucking running into Discourse that’s like, still current, whenever i want old random ass content) (and youtube, why do i look at youtube comments, because I personally enjoy being offended? yeah probably)

And that brings me to the point of this anime vs manga. 

This is a lot harder to compare than a lot of other series, because there are just... so many more differences not just in the style and vibe but the story itself.

Disclaimer, I’ve never watched the anime for :re and i don’t intend to, because I honestly have no earthly clue how tf you can get from the highly diverged tokyo ghoul root A to re and make it make sense, and I don’t really want A ruined for me. So you can call me biased towards the manga in the case of re, i guess (which makes my eventual conclusion even more strong I’d say) Honestly I just see them as two completely different stories, the manga’s version connecting with re and A just like... ending there. So how we’re drawing the lines is basically tokyo ghoul A versus the manga and :re. God, I know this isn’t a fair fight because I already hate re so much, but I feel like the manga’s story is much more intertwined with :re than the anime’s is, so that’s what we’re going with.

oh god also another disclaimer this opinion is coming from the biggest fucking kanehide whore, you can disregard anything i say if you ship The Straights and/or do not care for my boi hide

To be honest, if I can take my own conclusions and liberties to the story, I like both versions, each have their pros and cons and kind of a conflicting message. They can’t really coexist. Usually I’d consume all versions and then create one consistent canon in my head for what I accept as the true events (for example my main owari no seraph, first season of the anime is canon but after that we only follow the manga since those can come together and make sense.) but it’s very hard to do that in tokyo ghoul, since I must confess... I really like root A. Like of course, it’s a lot different from the manga, but tbh I think it’s super valid. (unlike most Fans TM like this Fan TM who i’m sending this post to just to spite their singular Youtube Comment Section Discourse, yes I did write this post for you and many others like you) But the ideas that make up root A conflict a lot with the ones of the manga, so I just have to accept that they’re separate things and treat them as such.

Now to break it down so people can understand where I’m coming from I guess? God this is already so long here’s a read more

The Case for The Manga (including :re manga)

More Lore + Plot Shit: One of the main reasons that manga readers are pretentious little bitches is a valid reason, namely that, as is the case with most manga, there’s simply more to it than people can fit into an anime. (Although people need to understand that’s because,,, it’s simply a different medium, so it will have different pluses and minuses, such as for example a soundtrack, color, moving pictures,,, you know, all that. Anime onlys don’t say that the anime is better by stating these things that a manga won’t have... because they’re fucking obvious. So manga readers should stop acting like an anime is inherently sub-par for being less in depth, but we digress.) I can understand that reading the manga is kind of important for wanting to understand the lore (though there are like so many other reasons ppl might want to watch it other than to get the lore) and without the explanation of how all this came to be and how it works, everything tends to be really mysterious, confusing, and seemingly random. It’s really nice to know what’s all going on, of course, and stuff like the washuus, rize’s backstory, the explanation for like, kaneki in general, all that- if you’re looking for like, plot shit, manga is definitely your go to. But like, sometimes, you like, don’t actually care about those things.

Haise: Of course one of the most important things about well, including re is that I fucking love Haise. Like he is my favorite Kaneki. He’s just so wonderful, look at him in he glasses and he floofy hair and he striped pants and he energy boxers and he s p i c e and he MOM. And I really like how they took Kaneki’s character and developed it more with Haise, you can see his turnaround from innocent--> Emo--> Trying To Be Innocent Again But Failing and I think that’s really sweet tbh. I rejected that at first because I didn’t understand it but once I actually read re I thought it made a lot of sense and was a logical thing to do with his character. (though, uh, moving forward, after his hair changes again i disagree with it, haise 1.0 is a good take and i love him and i want the best for him) I could go on I’ve already written a post of what I think is wrong with :re so if you want to hear my take on kaneki’s 37 pokemon evolutions that’s in there

Good New Characters: And of course there are my favorite bitches such as quinx squad, oh my god, there was a terminal lack of dumbass squad vibes in the original and ishida fucking gave it to us, I love them, I love them with all my heart and I think that if I wasn’t attached to them I’d probably just cancel all of :re but like this is just my personal problem. God I love them. Ishida always pulls through with characters I’m now too attached to.

Vore Lmao:Ok like hear me out. I just get a laugh out of it every time the manga has to remind me of this little fucking fact. Like ok I just. Cannot get over it. It’s so serious about it too and like I realize it’s a serious deal but o h  m y  g o d

Ok and now that we’ve got that little rant over I do want to say that it is like actually really important past the “lmao that’s pretty gay” bit, like??? In some ways it’s more fitting than the anime because well, ishida’s point always seems to be “what would mentally and physically hurt kaneki the most right now” and does it because that’s who this bitch is. But it just?? Kind of makes a bit more sense for the storyline if we’re being picky here, it’s so,,, painfully on point? Like the entire reason he gave in to Being A Ghoul and all was so he could save his friends and shit (i actually do not remember if this was a thing in the manga but like? when he was being tortured and he like imagined hide being really mad at him and getting killed by jason and shit?) LIKE AND THEN HE GOES AND HAS TO BASICALLY BE THE PERPETRATOR OF THAT HIMSELF, FUCK, it’s a lose/lose situation of “don’t do the bad thing and watch your friends suffer” or “do the bad thing and watch your friends suffer but like, later” ishida please

The meaning of Hide being alive: Ok this is just me crying over chapter 75 still but like. Instead of in the anime, where hide’s point seems to be that instead of letting kaneki sacrifice anything more he’d be the one to give his life up and such, and save kaneki, in the anime tbh he just really wanted to be with kaneki right then?? and like ouch but understanding that in the manga he wasn’t just planning on dying and leaving kaneki to deal with it afterward he wanted to go on and continue to try to help the guy no matter the shit he had to go through, no matter if the dude just like forgot that he existed for two years and all- LIKE UH CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW HIDE DOESN’T EVEN EXPECT ANY APOLOGY? like kaneki’s like “OH MY GOD I’M SUCH A TERRIBLE PERSON” and hide’s like lmao nah it’s cool i’m thriving- that his big motto was “live” rather than “peace out motherfuckers it’s been fun”. Cause. Fucking. Ishida. Can’t kill off characters well but like at least he made keeping this one alive justified. 

The D e t a i l s: Ok well I feel like this is something everyone knows but the anime is missing a lot of really,,, crunchy details that the manga throws in there, like, well, kaneki’s fucking,,, bones thing, and other assorted details, g o d like those are missable if you want to never understand half the memes but also like,,, sometimes you just gotta read that shit. It also like, makes more sense when you do but sometimes it’s just stupid things that aren’t important but are fucking hilarious.

The Flavor: In general I’d say the greatest difference between the anime and the manga is the general flavor of the thing, the vibe in the manga is a lot, to be frank, darker and grosser and bloodier than the anime, which is a lot more focused on being pretty and Tragic than “HOLY SHIT WTF” but like. That’s valid. With that comes it being a lot more, real, and although the art may not be as polished as the anime’s, sometimes that’s exactly what you need, and the really gritty sketchy shit that’s in the manga sometimes is exactly what it’s supposed to be for the manga. (in the anime, i’d say that the colored and polished style fits it better, so we’re good there.) It’s a lot more real, in the manga, when the anime hesitates to “go there” a lot (and well, sometimes that’s welcome, but sometimes it’s like y o u  g u y s  c o m e  o n  r e a l l y maybe i DID want to see that did you ever think of that)

So like, to sum it up i’d just like to say it’s more detailed, sharper and darker and is simply So Much. There is just More Content

The Case for Root A

ON THE OTHER HAND, (buckle up fuckers)

Depth of Emotion (that Ishida was too much of a pissbaby for): God like you know what I mean if you read the last post, we spent a whole episode on these gay fucks in root A, with backstory and dreams and drawn out suspense and emotion and GUYS LOOK AT THEM NO REALLY OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS whereas hide’s limelight in the manga is a whole... two pages, oh whoopee, and that’s mostly due to the fact of ishida putting himself in a spot of “oh fuck goddamn if i drew that in i’d get flagged for gay porn” but that’s his own fault, so he downplays the whole scene and really keeps it in the dark, whereas in this anime it’s understandably a lot less,,, like that, but how it plays out here is simply... really nice and makes you cry and shit, whereas in the manga I’d go “oh god oh damn oh fuck” *laughs my ass off because i really can’t take this seriously*. You get just... more here.

To elaborate on this, in the anime, as a gay fucking bastard, I can get practically an endless amount of content from episode twelve, and endlessly stew over all Those Things about it, every hard hitting line, the expressions, the music making it even sadder, the ways the VAs say the words, the cinematic beauty of the blood dripping on the floor and like how it’s supposed to make you think it’s kaneki’s, GOD I COULD FUCKING GO ON, but if we want to get that in the manga... 

we get three incredibly basic lines, a blackout, and then a “QUICK LET’S MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE BEFORE ANYONE NOTICES THE IMPLICATIONS OF THAT HAHA”

So if we want to have more, we need to write it. (sadly) None of it is ever played out canonically so like,,, all we can do is infer and make shit up. It’s like, I am a writer so like that’s my whole job but I really would rather have more content, and have the content that’s there get to be emotional instead of *blank face* “this is plot that is happening, sadly” but like maybe it’s just bc i’m gay

Really Fucking Beautiful (aesthetically as well as story-wise): This kind of just goes hand in hand with the depth of emotion bit, and I think it can’t really compared to the manga here because I’m gay so I see pretty colors and cry so the anime is understandably appealing for me, but I’m also talking emotionally, yeah. There’s a lot of plotlines and implications of the story that are really well played out, I always love to watch the original because it does a very good job handling a lot of the harder topics and stuff that makes the whole thing worthwhile- like the whole point you’re supposed to see that the ghouls and humans are both just as monstrous when you break it down, that there are good and bad people on both sides, everyone just wants to live and feel good in their own life and perspective, everyone has reasons that justify their behaviour in their mind, sometimes you just can’t win no matter what, all that... they’re all really important messages and make the whole story, and they were handled much more delicately and with more expertise in the anime. 

It’s hard to pin down, but I feel like the manga was just based more on Fight Scenes Characters OoH Fake Science and kind of just gave kaneki infinite power ups after Trying Harder no offense, obviously those things were there and they were still very good in the manga it’s just sometimes they were cheapened a lot by ishida really not keeping track of what he’s trying to say with his story and sacrificing it a lot for “BUT WHAT IF KANEKI’S HAIR AND IDEALS CHANGED AGAIN” instead of making it a whole cohesive work. (and yes, I am VERY aware of your “well aCtuAlLy the hair represents his sanity” thing i know i know and i’m about to rip it to fucking shreds so)

Understandable Character Development And Staying True To It: Which brings me to this point, character development. This was another thing that was just... handled with more expertise in the anime, whoever was in charge of it. Mostly this has to do with Kaneki, since like, no offense but he’s the only one who ever gets much character development other than like, juuzou (asmr you only get character development if your hair color changes) oh and i guess there’s tsukiyama but he’s someone who shouldn’t have gotten character development. Touka gets character development only before re for some reason, and like tbh that’s kind of it. I do think Juuzou’s character development was valid, because well... it made sense? I complained about it before because I was like “well he just turns into spicy L” but i’ve since changed my opinion, he’s best boy. But Kaneki? They went way overboard with him in the manga, and generally? Calm tf down ishida.

Breaking it down, one of the main things that most of the tried and true manga stans seem to hate about the anime the most is Kaneki going over to Aogiri in root A. Since they’re much more acclimated to the manga, they don’t understand why he would do that (quoting a particular ‘probably made sense in the manga!’ yes i know that whole thing was poking fun at the show and i felt it lmao) and they just pin it to “ahaha he has now become Edgy for the fans ehehe time to make fun of him” and TO BE FAIR YOU’D BE COMPLETELY RIGHT. I love to make fun of Kaneki when he does his edgy bitch thing because that’s what he is. A basic edgy bitch who is just,,, such a main character. But like. He does actually have his reasons despite popular opinion and to be honest I think they’re a bit more valid than in the manga, where he’s just like “well I’ve been tortured, that was not pleasant and i kinda did a bad thing, let’s go back to anteiku but i’m just gonna Try Harder To Fight this time”. I can understand that, but like, it seems like in the manga every Character Development of kaneki is some form of “i will now be stronger” except for the singular “I will now be a different person” which, well, we’ll get to that. 

In the anime though, even if it seems like more of a basic edgy bitch move, it’s like?? It makes perfect sense to me, and to be honest more than the manga does? Obviously he doesn’t wanna be best bros with Aogiri, he realizes they’re all bad people who have done really terrible things, but the fact is he now sees himself as the same thing, he now understands their motives because in his mind he is also now Bad TM. His whole character development of being tortured was that peace wasn’t an option no matter how much he wanted it, he couldn’t live being a pacifist and the world was forcing him to give the “i am the only one that understands! we need to stop fighting!” bullshit up because there was no way to achieve it. He realized if he kept himself the way he was more people he loved would be hurt like they already had because he couldn’t, so he doesn’t just Decide To Become Stronger, he gives up his humanity. And that includes basically letting himself defend his own actions and try to do “the right thing”. 

Him then joining aogiri makes sense because well. They’re the people who are the strongest, who have the power, who are the same as he sees himself. He still wants to protect the people he loves, he just also realizes he can’t do it by working with them since he now understands that their more peaceful ways will by definition get them fucking killed. His understanding is flawed, of course. He’s not really right. But this is his understanding and from that it makes perfect sense for him to join up with aogiri and try to still do as much as possible from that standpoint, realizing that most likely the people he’s trying to protect will hate him for it. I think that makes sense to me, what do you not understand about it? (I also understand that may make some people mad because he’d Doing Bad Things but I point to you he’s so soft, remember when he was really nice to naki when he was literally the one who killed the guy naki was crying about? remember when he was doing a raid and he saw that guy hiding and he never mentioned it? remember like the seventy times he Cried TM, yeah he’s problematic obviously but if you want problematic I’ll point you to a certain fucking black reaper. Shironeki has nothing on that asshole.)

I think what Kaneki did in the manga was fine, but in general the anime (again) had more depth of understanding and emotion versus a steady Try Harder Get Stronger shonen deal, which, well, fair, but like, nah. Continuing why I think the anime dealt it better is the ending of A, which was a lot more well rounded then *kaneki gets stabbed and then there’s a lot of random plot shit going on in the background*. Here Kaneki then got to round out the end of his character development by realizing slowly through the second half of this season, him becoming a kakuja and then basically deciding like, not to

((kakuja kaneki was dealt with again different in the anime and manga because he basically stopped trying to use it in the anime bc he realized it was a bad fucking idea but this goes along with the ‘his character development of “i’m gonna do bad things for good reasons” --> “actually no wait that was a bad idea” was actually done in root A instead of being dragged out into :re and it’s appropriate for its own medium and the messages it’s trying to get across so manga loyalists hate it’ but we digress))

So in root A we got to see him actually develop and realize himself through the second half of the season starting with cochlea, his interactions with Amon, and ultimately through Hide, that he’d been doing the wrong thing by becoming more monstrous/fighting harder because what he did was ended up forgetting the most important thing, *smiles in gay* HIDE.(well, his humanity. yeah. i cite the terrible opening for root A with the fun ‘the hands taking off kaneki’s mask are hide’s’ bit.) He then remembered again why he wanted so bad to stop the war between humans and ghouls, he wanted to be able to live in peace and not have to be a monster- something that was not dealt with in the manga (though for understandable reasons of We Need To Fuck With Him In Re More, they then didn’t deliver on creating something like that later so I take this.)

That’s most of the difference between the original manga and anime, but I’d also like to discuss (briefly, I’ve already yelled about them) the ridiculous amount of hurdles ishida went through to fuck with kaneki in the manga, Of course there is the fact that well, the slower transition of his character does make some more sense for the manga because if you take :re into consideration, his eight billion character changes are more tolerable when they haven’t like, already happened before in the manga (just the anime). It makes more sense there for Haise to be tormented by past kaneki telling him He’s Too Weak because in the manga he hasn’t already had that development prior to “dying”, and he lost his memories still believing he had to be strong even if he did bad things, whereas in the anime it doesn’t track because at the end like i just said he kind of gives up his ghoulhood on purpose because he realizes that joining aogiri and fighting and shit was really wrong because, hide. So I can see why those character decisions were not made in the original when planning for :re, but... the fact remains that those previous decisions do not make up for how absolutely weak :re’s game ended up being with kaneki. 

So tldr this entire section, All the manga’s defense of how they handled Kaneki’s development is basically void because all those choices were buildup for development in :re which ishida then COMPLETELY fell down on. So the alternative is better.

And now comes my yelling about how exactly Ishida fucked it up: hair colors and kaneki’s 80 kanekis. If black is supposed to represent sane and white is supposed to represent insane or, whatever, i dunno, who tf thought black reaper kaneki was sane? Who tf would think kaneki in the end isn’t? I haven’t looked into this really, and I’d really love it if someone explained it to me the way ishida was going for bc I do not understand it. Like that tracks with Juuzou, and with Kaneki up to Haise Original, but they don’t really make a cohesive sense seeing as after Haise’s hair color changed again that whole deal kind of goes to shit. Not to mention... I just... they completely failed to make those character changes actually part of the story, I’m mostly complaining about black reaper haise, none of him makes any sense. What’s his deal? He wants to protect who he loves? Tracks with the ghouls but fun fact he abandoned his kids? He actually cared for them? What then, he wants to be the strongest as possible? Sure but then?? Why?? I don’t understand his motives at all.

We also didn’t get to see him get his memories back either, which I was actually very much looking forward to, it just,,, like all of a sudden he’s talking with eto about yoshimura and i’m like bruh when tf did that happen? It’s bad, and although chapter 74-76 is super valid, and his change back into white hair kaneki makes sense, I also have the complaint about how haise basically disappeared just like he was worried he would. I think that was bad and I’ve said that already, it doesn’t make sense, he just literally throws those entire two years away to go back to the way he was before he was with the CCG and just forgets everything he’s wanted for the last few years? Fiction logic test fucking failed, and you’ve also broken my heart. Love Haise. You got rid of him. I love kaneki too but like. Why don’t they just. Like. Merge. He is one whole complex person, not one and an imposter, god. 

This is a big negative for re and the manga, so automatically a positive for root A where I simply Do Not Have To Deal With That Bullshit and the character development actually makes sense. I can understand the decisions in the original manga could have set up for good development in :re, but they completely failed to deliver.

root a didn’t fast forward to re at the end god damn let us process this shit first before you try to connect it to something else: The thing with this point is that it’s really difficult to separate the original manga from the continuing story in :re because the thing intertwines so much and immediately moves us forward with a ton of plot points for the next part of the story before we’re done with this climax and the end of this story. Sometimes that’s ok and I can see doing that from an author’s perspective because you want people to continue reading your story instead of taking that as the end but it’s really annoying on a reader’s end, because I’m picky and I want to be able to just be able to enjoy my original canon without it like, metaphorically touching :re on a plate. It’s something that I don’t even do with my own longer stories, like for example I have like a trilogy of >100k fics that like, well i’m technically not done with them but like. 

People really like the first one because it’s more focused on a more popular ship and basic elements people like about the thing, and then by the second book it moves on to talk more about the plot and lore and brings in more secondary characters. And so I knew that a lot of the readers of the first one wouldn’t want to have to deal with a lot of the “oh well stuff is happening elsewhere that will effect stuff later!!!” random plot shit that none of my readers actually cared about. So I kept it to wrapping up the points of the first book and then leaving the introduction of new characters and plot for the people who actually wanted to read it. Ishida didn’t do that, and of course it’s within his right to like?? Want to promote the next series but I’d have enjoyed it more if we ended it at kaneki’s “death” and wrapping up the deals with the rest of the characters instead of quickly shoving in the beginning of seventy more plotlines before the book ends. Like honey I simply do not have the reading comprehension for that. In the anime we get something that... makes sense.

In the anime, however, it’s quite the opposite, for example the reveals like Eto=owl=takatsuki sen were pushed before that and they saved episode twelve for, well, the end bit. Like what was actually the ending. There were detriments to this I had to say (LIKE GUYS I GET IT HE’S CARRYING HIDE HE’S CARRYING HIM I GET IT YOU’VE BEEN DOING IT FOR HALF THE EPISODE NOW OK I UNDERSTAND CAN WE MOVE ON) But like, I prefer the concept of a simple idea with as much emotion squeezed out of it as possible to a ton of confusing and contradicting ideas that are touched on for a second before moving on. So the *cries for half an hour* ending was much more appealing to me, and I can keep that separate in my head from any of the ideas that :re creates, letting me pretend it doesnt exist and imagine that’s the end and there’s nothing else to worry about. If we want to move forward and hear more, then we can, but it isn’t necessary like it is with the manga.

No Bad Takes that are hard to pry apart from good plot and characters:This is basically the downsides of the new characters, which is well, if I had to make a whole ~keep reading~ post about how problematic everything in re was that does have to count as a downside. I love the new characters, but they also come intertwined with a thousand really bad takes on like, everything, and of course I can ignore it and just act as though they were written in like, to be perfectly honest, a non transphobic way, it’s a real downside when the original anime was pretty pain-free in the way of their takes on their characters. They fucked everyone up in re and I will not elaborate, we’ve talked about this, it’s just the anime, and which i mean season 1 and root A, don’t really have any bad takes I need to try to get rid of, it’s surprisingly something I have little complaint about at all and I ALWAYS have complaints.

Hide!!!!: Obviously, you can tell that a lot of my opinions are going to be hide based because he’s the only thing I ever think about. But we have to take into account just how... hide???? This goes a lot into the depth of emotion bit but it also offers the other side of the argument for Hide’s part in the :re manga, which well. Was mostly chapter 75 if we’re going to be perfectly honest here. He doesn’t get any other limelight. Even in the chapter where Kaneki meets him again he gets a whole what, three pages? In the manga, he has an extremely valid deal about basically, living, keeping going no matter what, and that is a fitting part for the manga, considering the rest of the points there ride more on Keep Fighting instead of Think About Your Emotions And Morals, but honestly chapter 75 was really valid. So why do I still think the anime’s version where he like (ok I don’t know about the re anime we’ve discussed this, i don’t even know how they choose to explain that) he like, dies in kaneki’s arms is better overall? Again, I would have totally accepted that deal if it was made a part of the story because it made me cry, it was super valid, and if they’d continued in that way I would have agreed with it completely over that. But the fact is again that they failed to deliver, and Hide got largely ignored, suffered so much with so little outcome. There was so much buildup and it was incredibly valid, but when the time came for them to meet again and basically show... why it was important that Hide lived in the end? 

They didn’t. They straight up didn’t. Kaneki’s like “oh sorry bro... glad you’re alive and all...” *goes off and fights* and like? Honestly? @everlastingspiral is right, if that’s all they’re gonna do with him what’s the point of keeping him alive? I love every single panel of him and I wouldn’t have read re if he didn’t, but hide gets absolutely NO payoff. For letting kaneki literally vore his entire mouth off, leaving him disfigured and unable to talk, then kind of disappearing for two years and doing seemingly nothing but trying to help kaneki even though he’d forgotten the guy existed, risks his life like a thousand fucking times, eventually gets back to him and the dude’s running a fucking anti-human organization, helps him like Not Be A Volitile Pile Of Flesh Anymore and then what should have been a very important moment of them meeting again gets completely overshadowed by touka and random plot shit and more fights and they barely interact, they don’t even hug or anything, they barely talk, and at the end hide is still there but to be honest he’s gotten absolutely no thanks for all he did and ishida acts at the end as though he’s done very well with hide and gives him a tiny bit at the end throwing in a tragic backstory for fun (which hot take he really didn’t fucking need on top of it all) and... there’s no real hint that Kaneki is better off with Hide there, even though there should be. In 75, in his dream, kaneki is sobbing and crying and all like i’m so lonely without you but when they actually meet each other again? “yo” “hey” “uh sorry about,,, the thing,,, you know” “nah man it’s ok” “let me talk about myself for a bit” “yes you always do do you want to hear what I’ve been up to” “not really” “that’s fine i’m only here to support you”

...So you can understand why I’ve gone a bit sour on that. If that’s all you’re going to give him? Hot take? Let him die. Hide deserves better. (and i will deliver that in writing, but for the purposes of canon.)

In the anime, however (not counting re again... although he still gets the short end of the stick just in the original manga too compared to the anime) he’s properly dealt with! he gets his proper limelight and he gets acknowledged for what he’s done thusfar in the story, which is already so much. Kaneki then realizes that, but it’s already too late (or it isn’t, and they like negotiate with the ccg and then they get to live happily ever after) either way he gets appreciated and he gets hurt, but it’s properly acknowledged. And after all that, after saving kaneki and getting him to the cafe and doing it all while bleeding the fuck out, he gets to spend that time with kaneki and die in kaneki’s arms. And frankly? That’s all I think he’s ever needed. It’s really poetic and pretty and brings kaneki’s character around full circle, and even if it’s overly sappy, cliche, drawn out... he gets the attention he’s due and he gets a fucking break. He wanted to show Kaneki he wanted to do something for him and save him instead of the other way around, but then HE GOT ACKNOWLEDGED FOR THAT, instead of just well, tirelessly working towards it forever and having to be content to be a background character with practically no value to Kaneki anymore.

Keeps The Same Vibe: The big thing about this is that with the manga and with re, shit just goes all over the place, and I feel like I’ve amply showed that already through this essay or whatever this is. Again about the consistency and the professionalism, It’s a concise story that makes more sense than the manga while also being simply neater and more deep, making sure all the points, themes and messages work together and make sense to create a cohesive deal even if it’s not as long. (the manga is like ishida had a TON of good ideas for an essay but then fleshed out the thing ten minutes before deadline and managed to completely lose what his original thesis was even if the thing was 10 pages long.) Basically. yeah. That kind of sums it up, my last point concerns the ending.

Not Cheap Ending: If you want to hear my take about how absolutely terrible re’s ending was, check out my The Many Sins Of Tokyo Ghoul :Re post, and we’ve discussed how the original’s manga ending was bad and well not really an ending, it just leaves you unfulfilled and takes you into “well I guess I have to start a whole nother sequel series ig...” but root A like? Actually ends it? If a reader didn’t know that there was any content after that, they could pretty much infer that hide’s death or almost death whatever you inferred out of that ending (again we’re ignoring re) allowed Kaneki to finish his character development and realize they needed to stop the war, which basically tracks with what’s going on in everyone else’s perspective- eto’s problem with the world because of what happened with everything, is basically like, all of aogiri, juuzou and shinohara, amon and akira and kaneki and they can realize all they have to do is just sit down and fucking stop it because none of them want to be fighting, hide is the catalyst for that because the CCG can see how Kaneki cares for him? And it’s so open ended that you could just like literally believe that and there’d be no way for that canon to tell you otherwise, or you could go onto re and whatever if you wanted to. I think that’s the best thing. 

In conclusion, both have valid points, and in general I’d say that the manga goes better with :re and the anime is better as a stand alone but if I had to choose overall, this particular anime is better (taking into account only seasons 1 and 2), for mostly the reasons of favoring a simpler story taken with much more care and depth versus a more complex story with many, MANY imperfect elements, and I am aware I will get shot on sight for this opinion. So sue me.

[uhhhhhhokay]

Shows With Good LGBT+ Rep

Now for starters, I’ll admit that I do not watch Riverdale. I tried it, didn’t like it, that’s basically it. The show does have LGBT rep (but not ace rep), I would never dismiss that, but they make sure to do the bare minimum. Based off the people I follow who are fans, scenes for the characters, more specifically Chonie (Cheryl x Toni), are either constantly deleted or they are nonexistent. 

They have romantic scenes together but not nearly as many as the rest of the leading cast. This matters because one of the girl in the relationship, Cheryl, is advertised as a main, but yet she’s treated as a side character, and Toni is given even less. From what I’ve heard of the show, they dedicate an immense amount of time to the pairings of the main characters, but this focus does not seem to apply to Cheryl and her relationship with Toni. This applies to them as individual characters and as a pairing, as I’ve heard that neither character get much screen time. 

I understand wanting representation and I understand wanting to support representation, but the point that I’m trying to make is that Riverdale is not the show to put your desire and need into because they will never give the proper treatment or storylines that these characters and relationships they deserve. You can still watch but just know that there are shows out there with much better rep. So I’m here today, writing this long essay that no one asked for, to inform you guys of LGBT+ rep that actually gets treated well by their writers and is given the screentime and love they deserve. 

Warning: Some of these shows have been cancelled. If they do not say they’ve been cancelled, then that either means the show is still going or that it ended on it’s own terms.

Also this list does not include shows with the bury your gays trope.

Feel free to add on! This list is mainly comprised of some of my favorites. I tried to very best on the descriptions but I am a tired student with little free time. 

#1: The Bold Type ~ Kat x Adena

Kat Edison, the head of the social media department of Scarlet magazine, meets Adena El-Amin, a proud Muslim lesbian photographer in episode one. The two bond and grow closer and closer, eventually causing the “out and proud hetero” Kat to question her sexuality and acknowledge her romantic feelings for Adena. Adena, as I said earlier, is a lesbian and Kat is bisexual. 

#2: Black Lightning ~ Anissa x Grace

Ah, the first black lesbian superhero! The second season is currently airing on Tuesday’s at 9pm on the CW. Being the daughter of the infamous vigilante Black Lighting has it’s unexpected perks, like having superpowers! The intelligent activist Anissa Pierce discovers her powers of super strength and decides to use them for good and defend her city under the name of Thunder.

Grace Choi was in a few episodes of season one, but her relationship status as girlfriends with Anissa in the comics assures us that she will be coming back and we will see her and Anissa’s relationship develop further.

#3: Doctor Who ~ Bill x Heather

Throughout all of time and space, these two manage to come back to each other. After being split up by an alien in ‘Pilot’, Heather comes back to Bill’s rescue in the season finale, kissing her and making her immortal, leaving the both of them to travel across the universe together. Their journey has sadly come to an end in the series, but it came to a spectacular and happy one!

#4: BBC Class ~ Charlie x Matteusz

Part of the Doctor Who universe comes Class, a teenage sci-fi drama that takes place in Shoreditch. Now, first I should say that this is one of my favorite shows and you don’t need to watch Doctor Who in order to watch it. It is its own separate show.

Charlie Smith, an alien prince from the planet Rhodia, comes to earth to escape the Shadowkin, the monsters that killed his race. Him and the only other survivor of his planet, Miss Quill, come to earth and are instructed by the Doctor to hide themselves as human. Charlie attends Coal Hill Academy while Quill teaches.

Once prom comes around, Charlie asks the Polish boy, Matteusz, to be his date. The prom is hijacked by the Shadowkin and it is revealed to Matteusz that Charlie is an alien, but he doesn’t mind because it does not change the way he feels about him. The two continue to date throughout the series whilst fighting off aliens with four of their friends and Miss Quill

This show has been cancelled, but audios have been made since then to fill in the gaps between episodes and there is a chance there might be more! Also there are three books!

#5: In The Flesh ~ Kieren x Simon

The dead have come back to life! Kieren and Simon are both PDS sufferers, meaning they have partially deceased syndrome, meaning that they died and were brought back to life. Series 1 is centered on Kieren Walker, a 18 year old boy who died back in 2009, who is adjusting to his new zombie life and dealing with the people who want him back in the ground.

In series 2, Simon is introduced as a part of an PDS activist who is fighting for equal treatment for PDS sufferers while trying to find the first risen to bring on the second rising. Connected by a mutual friend, Simon and Kieren are introduced to each other, and the two strike up a relationship which develops into something romantic.

#6: Faking It ~ Multiple Characters

In an attempt to gain popularity, Karma and Amy fake being lesbians, but after a kiss at the school’s prep rally, Amy realizes that she isn’t as straight as she thought she was. In fact, she is head over heels in love with her childhood best friend, Karma. She confides in the out and proud Shane about her feelings for Karma and asks for advice on how to get a girlfriend. This show, while not always perfect, is incredibly diverse. Amy is bisexual, Shane is gay, Lauren is intersex, and in season 3, Shane forms a crush on the new student, Noah, and after their first kiss Noah comes out as trans to Shane. 

The show was unfortunately cancelled after three seasons, leaving much of the story still left unsaid, but the show still has an enjoyable and satisfying ending, even if it wasn’t the ending the creator wanted. The creator’s ideal ending, had he been given the chance to write it, was that Karma would eventually realize that she herself is bisexual too. 

#7: Hit The Floor ~Multiple Characters

Jude x Zero

Junior sports agent Jude Kinkade brings basketball sports star Zero to LA on the promise to be a star. One night in a limo before Zero flies to an away game, Jude, to his surprise, kisses Zero. When Zero comes back, the two begin a friends with benefits relationship that develops into something deeper, and the two fall in love.

Lionel x Eve

Lionel’s sexuality has never been explicitly stated in the show. She had sex with many men and the majority of viewers assumed she was straight. That was until the cunning Eve came in. The two decide after a brief meeting to go and get drinks together which ends up with them having sex. Later, Lionel admits to Jude, that she has slept with many women before Eve. Their relationship is complicated and it’s much different from the other relationships on the show. 

Jude x Noah

Due to the show’s unexpected renewal and switch from VH1 to BET, not all actors returned. Adam Senn (Zero) did not want to return, but never fear, because the show’s creator wasn’t about to let the beautiful Jude Kinkade go to waste!

A year after his break up with Zero, Jude’s best friend Lionel takes him out for drinks in the hopes to find him a hunk and get him laid. Later that night, Jude and Noah meet, hook up, and move on with their lives. Until the next day when Jude sees Noah at the Devils arena and finds out that the two will be working together. 

Hit The Floor has not been renewed or cancelled.

#8: Wynonna Earp ~ Multiple Characters

Waverly x Nicole 

i’m sure many of you have heard of these two, but incase you haven’t, let me introduce you to Waverly and Nicole! Waverly, the younger sister to the Earp heir, and Nicole, a sheriff at the Purgatory police department, strike up a romantic relationship after Waverly ends things with her shitty boyfriend Champ. These two are so cute and are head over heels in love with each other. 

Jeremy x Robin

Jeremy is introduced in season 2 and Robin is introduced in season 3. After discovering a murder tree, Robin goes to the police station in search of help. Directed to Jeremy, Robin explains everything he saw, then the two go on a date to investigate the murder tree, and after that the two become boyfriends.

Warning: The show, while amazing with LGBT characters, does not treat their POC characters well. 

#11: Brooklyn Nine-Nine ~ Holt and Rosa

Raymond Holt is captain of the 99th precinct. He is married to his longtime partner Kevin, who often guest stars on the show, and the two of them are truly iconic. Holt has fought hard for gay rights in the police department since joined the force. As a out gay black man, Holt had to fight and work hard to get to his position as captain. 

Rosa Diaz is bisexual and she is played by a bisexual actress. Rosa is a secretive, hard, ruthless, and a soft bean of a character. She is one of the key characters to the Nine-Nine. She has yet to have a steady girlfriend but here’s to hoping that she will have one next season!

#10: BBC Cuffs ~ Multiple Characters

Jake x Simon

Don’t sleep with the enemy. New PC Officer, Jake Vickers, joins the police force and meets the well known and disliked solicitor, Simon Reddington. Despite the fact that they are on opposing sides that hate each other, the two begin dating. They try to keep their professional life out of their relationship to avoid conflict. But alas, that’s where the sweet angst comes in. 

Donna x Alison 

The time these two start dating it unclear, but when the show begins it is said that they’ve been together for a few years. They’ve been living happily together for quite some time. Donna is part of the main cast as a police officer and is given a lot of screen time in action. Alison is a side character who makes a few appearances throughout the show but her interactions with Donna are sweet, beautiful, and realistic. 

This show has been cancelled.

#11: Shadowhunters ~ Magnus x Alec

Ghaad, these two are the best. A gay shadowhunter and a bisexual warlock fall in love. Malec has good communication. Magnus and Alec have their own storyline and a storyline with each other, making them both equally important and have intimate/emotional scenes. The show also makes sure to tackle harmful bisexual stereotypes. (Thanks to @spicychipsdemon for helping me write this one.)

This show has been cancelled but it’s being given a special to wrap up the story.

#12: Superstore ~ Mateo x Jeff

An employee and district manager meet at the Cloud 9 store during a strike. Mateo is a out gay man and so is Jeff, the thing is that his cannot date the employees at the store so the two of them keep their relationship private from the other coworkers, because they would not be able to keep it a secret from Jeff’s boss. These two are actually really cute and they’re hilarious and underrated to be quite honest.

#15: Orphan Black ~ Multiple Characters

Besides the white girl dreads, these two are nice. They are the sci-fi couple that beat the shit out of the bury your gays trope. A clone and a woman who is assigned to look after that clone, uncoincidentally meet. What starts as an assignment is developed into something much deeper, leading Delphine to realize she’s bisexual. These two are happily living their life making crazy science with each other.

There are more LGBT characters in the show. There is a trans clone but unfortunately he is only in one episode. One of the main clones, Sarah is revealed to be bisexual in s4 and her foster brother Felix, a series regular, is gay. 

#16: Picnic at Hanging Rock ~ Multiple Characters 

Three schoolgirls and their governesses mysteriously disappear on Valentines Day in 1900 at the infamous Hanging Rock. This show, while slow in some areas, transformed the 1967 book written by Joan Lindsay. What was initially about the disappearance of three girls and the attempt to find them was changed into a six part series about the repression of sexuality and expression of young girls. Miranda, Irma, and Marion, are the three young women that go missing, and they are all lesbians. There are two more characters in the story: Mike and Albert. They had a close relationship in the book but the tv show made their relationship canonically romantic. 

The show does suffer in the sense that hetero couples that barely existed in the book get more screen time and make out sessions than they should. I included this show because character wise it’s so drastic from it’s original content and it ends up putting wayyyy more focus on the girls than the book did. It turned a simple plot into a meaningful story about gender roles and sexuality and three girls trying to break free of them and two boys falling in love and running away together. Not a perfect show, but damn if it didn’t do some things right. Still recommend.

This show is a miniseries. Unlike other series, it ends where the book ends.

#17: One Day At A Time ~ Elena x Syd

If you haven’t watched these two then I don’t know wtf you’re doing. This show is precious and they are precious and god just watch it already honestly. Elena is a lesbian and Syd is a non-binary lesbian. Once a criminal breaks loose and the two have to cancel their plans to go to comic con, the two are trapped in their home with the rest of their family. As the evening builds up, Elena finally gets the courage to kiss Syd.

#18: Crashing ~ Sam x Fred

This show and this relationship is f*cking wild and it’s amazing. The show surrounds a group of people who are guardians to an abandoned hospital and they live in it. Sam meets Fred on his birthday when the two are paired up for a scavenger hunt. They relationship is odd at first with Sam constantly flirting with Fred and blatantly ignoring his feelings for him. These feelings rise to the surface and force Sam to confront them when Fred gets a rich bf who wants them to move in together. 

This show has been cancelled. The show does not end with a cliffhanger. The show does end with Sam finally leaning in a kissing Fred. 

#19: Charmed (2018) ~ Mel x Niko

Now this show is only one episode in so who knows where this show and relationship will go but it’s off to a good start with having the Mel and Nico relationship as the only romantic relationship in the show so far. I did not pay attention to the advertising of this show but as far as I know the show kept this relationship under wraps as a happy surprise for it’s premiere. The pilot has it’s flaws but it is cute, and to me personally, it works for me better than the original. These two have been dating for a while. Nico is a detective while Mel is just finding out months after her mothers death that she is a witch. A lot is going on. The pilot was interesting enough to get me to continue. The sisters are amazing and I hope the writers keep this relationship up front. This show not only has a lesbian relationship as it’s main love story right now but the three sisters are all women of color. 

This show and the actresses have been facing a lot of racist backlash so any support to ensure a future seasons be amazing!

#20: The Halcyon ~ Toby x Adil

(Ayyyeeee I got to use my own gif go follow at @tlmedits please)

Honestly f*ck BBC for cancelling so many good shows with LGBT characters. The Halcyon is a tv show that takes place during the 1940′s. Now, unlike many other periodic shows, this one is diverse, including poc and gay characters in the cast and giving them good storylines. The Halycon hotel is own by the Hamilton family, and Toby is the youngest son. Adil is a bartender in the hotel lobby. One night, while Toby is hiding from a woman his mother had set him up with, he runs into Adil who then kisses him. The two the next day begin a relationship. 

As I mentioned before, this show was cancelled.

[centuriesofexistence]

I understand your point on support and agree but what has Emily Andras done that was so bad to be deemed unworthy compared? I think she’s done insurmountable good for lgbt tv representation.

Nahhh. This is gonna be long, but… “insurmountable good” my ass.

But first off, I want to point out that I wasn’t *exactly* pitting Emily Andras and Nafessa Williams against each other. It wasn’t an either or. It was more pointing out the discrepancy between the support for a straight white creator who only deals with white ships and says incredibly questionable things about LGBT+ characters, tropes, and even real people, and the support for a black actress portraying a groundbreaking black lesbian lead character. It was a call-out post for fandom, asking people to do better and try to expand their horizons and the people they support, rather than leaving it up to the amorphous and scapegoat idea of “some things are popular and some aren’t, you can’t force people to like something” which only carries so far as an excuse.

At the same time, separate from that issue, Emily Andras is trash and here’s why.

Throwback to the day after Lexa’s death, to the quote most people know about: “I am seriously impressed with #The100’s writers’ lady cojones. And I don’t even watch the show! #Iwillnow”

So after writing on lost girl and writing and filming her entire first season of Wynonna Earp…homegirl is so excited by the courageous use of the BYG trope that she’s gonna start watching *because* Lexa died.

She doubled down on being totally ignorant and insensitive a few weeks later: “Look, this is the absolute truth and people don’t like to hear it, but what the fanbase wants is not always what is best for drama. First of all, I’ll just say that without making apologies. If you are on a show where danger is ever-present, and the stakes have to be that anyone is expendable, sometimes you have to put your money where your mouth is, and I don’t think someone should not be expendable just because they happen to be a girl who likes girls”

There was also the time she ended up on a panel of LGBT+ creators talking about their work…and she was the only straight woman, taking up a space that could have gone to an LGBT+ person.

And since then, she has had various issues on twitter, such as flippantly using the word “queer” despite being straight, misgendering someone and refusing to apologize until dozens of people applied pressure, and dismissing LGBT+ fans’ questions and concerns about rep.

But the worst thing? It’s something I’ve kept to myself for a while, but I really don’t care anymore.

I was one of the original LGBT+ Fans Deserve Better organizers. It was quite a while ago, but back over the late spring/early summer of ‘16 while we were fighting to gain some legitimacy and really help make fandom voice heard following the mass of sapphic characters being killed off in brutal fashion, we actually got some fantastic allies: a couple of queer writers up in Canada reached out to help create the Lexa Pledge. The Lexa Pledge was a promise that creators could make, to treat their LGBT+ characters with the respect they deserved. I won’t get into all of it now, but it was an important, positive, preliminary step toward the positive representation we’re all fighting for. It was created by LGBT+ fans and LGBT+ creators working together, and it gave the LGBT+ Fans Deserve Better movement some real legitimacy. People were listening. The media was listening. The Lexa Pledge was evidence of that.

It was also Emily Andras’s first target when we pissed her off, with LGBTFDB being the other.

During that same time frame, LGBTFDB had a page on our site that listed all of the shitty quotes that showrunners had given during that Bloody Spring of 2016, with all of the lesbian/bi deaths. Emily Andras’s quote, which I mentioned above, was listed on that page. And she hated it.

It was also during this time that Wynonna Earp was running through it’s first season and hadn’t yet been renewed. It was a bubble show, meaning it was at a serious risk of being cancelled, and Emily Andras knew that one major factor that could decide its fate was the strength of her gay fandom. But the fact that she’d outed herself as a dumb straight woman and said those things about BYG and LGBT+ rep, was really hurting the size of her gay fandom. She didn’t like that we had that quote up and we were actively calling out creators who said harmful things…so she retaliated against LGBT+ FDB.

She applied pressure to the LGBT+ creators up in Canada who had helped us with the Lexa Pledge. Emily Andras has quite a bit of weight in the Canadian TV world. The writers who had helped us asked us to take the quote down at her request, and we refused, because we weren’t going to play favorites when it comes to shitty rep. When we refused, the writers told us they had been put in a very difficult position, under pressure from Emily Andras, and that if we didn’t take the quotes down, the Lexa Pledge would be withdrawn and they would no longer be able to work in tandem with LGBT+ Fans Deserve Better.

In retaliation for us standing our ground and refusing to be bullied or cajoled into protecting certain creators, Emily Andras attempted to torpedo the Lexa Pledge and derail the entire movement by applying pressure to the queer writers who had reached out to us. It would have delegitimized the movement, it would have hamstrung our attempts for better rep, it would have severed the connection between queer writers and queer fans…but that didn’t matter. We were making her look bad and she didn’t like it.

I remember sitting in my car and typing out a long, desperate email to the LGBT+ writers who had helped us, explaining the need for their support and how much hope they had given a community who had previously believed they had no voice in the media. The writers were in an understandably difficult position: under pressure from a powerful producer desperate to look good in the eyes of LGBT+ fans, or beholden to the promises and responsibilities they’d made to a bunch of queer fans. Ultimately, we managed to convince the writers to leave the Pledge with us, but the pledge and our work with them never advanced much further.

Obviously, it was not the end all be all solution to our rep issues, but I will absolutely never forgive Emily Andras for her bullshit studio politics game and her completely callous lack of compassion or care for a bunch of LGBT+ fans trying to make a change in the media. She only cares about herself; her “care” for the LGBT+ community extends only as far as they benefit her. She’s trash and I’ll never support her or anything she does.

[takealottodragmeawayfromreddie]

Filling the blanks - Chapter 6

Pairing: Richie x Eddie x Bill (Reddie at the start).

Summary: During his last moments, Eddie realized he had something to say, but before he could finish the sentence, he was gone. Now he’s stuck between life and death and he knows he won’t be able to rest until he takes care of what he started. The only person he trusts enough to help him is Bill.

Or: The ghost AU where Eddie’s spirit can get inside of Bill’s mind to ask him for help to tell Richie he loved him.

Warnings: Canon Divergence (IT actually kills Audra) and, of course, death of major character. Some really heavy internalized homophobia in this chapter. Like, really heavy. Even some use of the F word that isn’t “fuck”. So, yeah, please be careful, the whole point of this fic is to make y’all have a good time, not triggering you <3

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

AO3 link

Playlist on Spotify (mostly songs about Heaven and duel related stuff and 1980s hits)

Special thanks to my stunning beta @golden-marauders. I know you’re going through busy times and I just wanna say you’re doing amazing, sweetie. This thing would be nothing without you. Or at least pretty hard to read xD

Eddie can’t say he didn’t think about canceling the date. Actually, canceling the date has been the only thing on his mind since he and Bill left the bed. He spent the whole morning contemplating the idea, trying not to be too loud, since his friend needed to put all his effort into looking wrecked and lonely for the eyes of the producers. He didn’t even hear the conclusion of the meeting, and he felt afraid of asking. The last thing he wants is to make it seem like he doesn’t care about Bill’s problems.

He built up a few excuses, too. Lying to Richie shouldn’t be that hard, and he was already reluctant about the ‘new scary, weird thing’, so he wouldn’t insist or ask for any further explanation. Bill could get sick, or devastated after discussing his wife’s death, or Eddie could simply have come to the conclusion that he doesn’t love Richie. At least not as he thought. He was confused, that’s all.

He doesn’t even need to cancel. He took care of his unfinished business, he’s allowed to leave whenever he wants. And, to be honest, he could use an eternal nap after everything he’s gone through. Richie will wait for him and, when he finally realizes Eddie won’t come, he’ll go home and start to forget.

Richie said he wanted to forget. He said he wanted to get over Eddie’s memory and death. Eddie not attending their lunch would be the best thing that could happen to him.

And, damn, this is not just about Richie. Eddie himself isn’t sure if he wants to go back into the dating scene. He thought he would get away from it forever when he got married, and he can’t help but think he shouldn’t be doing it at his current age. He went out with a few girls when he was younger —always during his short seasons of ‘I’ll become strong and independent and I’ll show my mother I can live without her’— and everything he can recall from that dark era is awful.

All different from the others: tall, short, blonde, brunette, curvy, skinny; but all of them with the same demanding, enthusiastic voice, going on and on about their lives and wanting to find out more and more about Eddie’s. Asking, digging, questioning. Did he have lots of friends while growing up? He couldn’t remember. How many ex-girlfriends? None, they never lasted enough to earn that title. How could someone like him still be single? Sonia Kaspbrak, that’s how.

The most voluptuous ones would lean towards him, their giant breasts spreading all over the table, making him think about cows and lose his appetite for the rest of the night. The most demonstrative liked to casually play with his pinky ring and put their hand on his shoulder while acting like his jokes were super funny and bat their eyes while smiling sweetly at him. The shyest ones barely made any eye contact and they usually had a friend who called pretending a relative of them had a car accident, just in time to save them from the silence when it became unbearable.

But all of them had something in common. They expected to be taken home, and held, and kissed, and, sometimes, made love to. That was the concept Eddie couldn’t stand. And God knows he tried to explain it without hurting anyone’s feelings. Some took it well, but the ones who would cry and tell him he didn’t like them were the worst. He ended up putting his hands on their cheeks, making them look at him in the eye and talking about how they were amazing and deserved better for hours until their ego was restored.

Yeah, you deserve better, he thought. Preferably anyone but me.

I’ll call you, he’d say, and he’d never call. He didn’t give them his number because he was too scared of his mother picking up the phone. The only time he felt like he could trust someone with such personal information, was a ginger girl he met in college. She was nice and funny, and Eddie felt randomly willing to keep seeing her. Of course, he later concluded he only liked her as a friend, but the connection was there. He always connected with ginger girls, even though he couldn’t put his finger on the reason behind it.

When Sonia found out about her, their house almost exploded. She accused him of not loving her anymore, of trying to leave her. She cried and screamed that he had changed, that he felt like he was too good for his mother.

“You use people and then throw them away,” she sobbed, “I dedicated my whole life to you, to keep you safe and healthy, and now that you think you can take care of yourself, you want to get rid of me as soon as possible. But you’re wrong. You’re sure you can make it on your own but you’re wrong, Eddie. You’d be nothing without me.”

That was their biggest fight and the only time he decided to remind her about the fake meds. He was convinced it would make him win the argument and his whole life. However, it only made it worse. By the time she was crying in his arms, telling him she loved him and she didn’t want to lose him, he had already promised he would never date someone without letting her know again.

And he kept that promise. The next one was Myra and their relationship barely touched the dating phase. They got married by inertia and he acted like he loved her till the very last day.

So Eddie isn’t a professional on dating. He didn’t enjoy it, and somehow, going out on a date with Richie doesn’t seem right. What would they do? Sit down and eat their meal and pretend they don’t know everything about each other? Will Richie try to flirt with him like he would flirt with the random, hot women he’s used to date? How does a first date work when you already admitted you’re in love with the other person? Does Richie expect him to hold the doors open for him and pay the bill, like his previous romantic interests? Or will Richie do that for him? If that’s the case, how can he make it clear that he doesn’t want to be treated like a lady?

Fuck, how does gay dating work, anyway? Eddie hasn’t even considered that word yet. He just knows he likes Richie, he’s attracted to him and he doesn’t like women, which, by default, should make him gay. But the term isn’t something he’s accustomed to. He tries to act like an expert for Richie, because he understands that Richie is going through a lot and he needs someone to guide him. He makes an effort because Richie needs him, and that’s what finally convinces him that he can’t just cancel their date.

Richie needs him. Yes, Eddie loves him and wants to be with him, but that’s not the most important part of the deal. If he leaves the world and Richie falls for another man —or even a woman— and gets married and completely forgets about him, it won’t matter. Hurting and mattering aren’t the same thing. Essentially and most significantly, he will be happy for him. He doesn’t mind if the true love of Richie’s life is someone else. The only thing he cares about is that Richie accepts himself.

The confusion on his face and in his voice the night before, made Eddie’s heart shrink. He knows that doubt, that guilt, and he doesn’t want that for Richie. He wants him to look at himself in the mirror and, regardless of who’s in his bed that morning, feel no shame about liking both men and women and realize nothing can change that. After years of denial, Eddie knows the best gift he can give to someone he loves, is helping them to get to that point of awareness and freedom.

No, he won’t cancel. He can’t. His unfinished business might be completed, but he still has something to do. He won’t let Richie down.

“Okay,” he nods decisively, fixing the collar of his shirt in front of the mirror, “How do I look?”

Bill chuckles.

Y-you look amazing, if I do say so myself.

Eddie smiles too. He has spent the last twenty minutes wandering through the bathroom, looking for lotions and deodorants and hygiene products that Bill didn’t even know existed. As soon as they left the studio office, Eddie concluded they had to shower, and despite the insistence of his friend on how they were clean enough, he took that decision to its most extreme consequences. To the point where Bill is starting to think they might never leave the room.

Bill tried to be understanding and supportive. He gets it; life hasn’t been nice to Eddie, principally on the romantic department. The best thing he can do is play along and do anything he can to make it easier for him. But when Eddie resolves that their hair just doesn’t look good enough and that it’s probably because of the shampoo, so they should shower again, Bill knows it’s time to stop.

Okay, w-wait a minute… What’s wrong with my h-hair?

Eddie freezes with his hand inches away from the shower faucet.

“Oh, nothing,” he quickly clarifies, scared of Bill taking it the wrong way, “It looks good, really, but—”

Then why would you c-change it?

“’Cause… ‘cause it doesn’t look good on me, alright? It looks amazing on you, but not on me.”

Bill releases an exasperated sigh.

Eddie, we’ve literally got the same f-face.

Eddie opens his mouth to reply but, sooner than later, he realizes he doesn’t have any argument to what he wants to say.

Also, we’re gonna be late if we—

“But there’s so much I need to do,” he answers immediately, alarmed, “We… we haven’t shaved.”

W-we shaved this morning! What are you t-talking about?

“I know we did, fine? But I’m not convinced. Your skin feels weird and… and I’m sure it doesn’t look just-shaved enough… Maybe with some lotion…”

Eddie, s-seriously, you’re gonna leave America without lotion for three years if you k-keep that up. I’m telling you it looks fine. The only reason why you think it’s w-weird is ‘cause you’re not used to facial hair. I p-promise you Richie won’t notice the fucking d-difference!

Bill catches Eddie’s expression on the mirror and recognizes that maybe he went too far. Eddie looks shocked and almost betrayed. Perhaps they’re arguing about something insignificant, but with the emotional rollercoaster that the previous days had been, it makes sense that it affects him. Bill thinks about how to apologize without sending him a ‘you’re right’ message.

Sorry I s-snapped at you.

Eddie nods, saddened.

“It’s okay. Guess I deserved it.”

He forces a little smile and shrugs, and Bill panics at the misunderstanding.

N-no, Eddie, of course not. You… you didn’t deserve it, alright? I just really d-don’t want you to be l-late. And I’m scared that you might be…

Eddie stands back in front of the mirror and looks into his own eyes, searching for the other person that lies behind them.

“That I might what?” He softly asks.

T-trying to… back off.

At the start, he just looks confused, like he might had heard wrong. There’s no way Bill is implying what he thinks he implied. Then, shock hits him; Bill did say that. And after a fleeting moment of fear —what if it’s Bill who’s trying to back off?—, he’s plainly hurt.

“What the fuck?”

I-I just—

“No, really, the fuck are you talking about? Backing off? Why would I be backing off now?”

I d-don’t know. You’ve tried to back off b-before. Maybe you got scared or—

“Oh, sure, I forgot I’m a fucking pussy. Of course I’d get scared and try to back off. Of course I’m not an adult who can decide for himself and—”

Wow, c-calm down, Eds. You’re being d-defensive. I never said you were a coward. I don’t think that.

Eddie rubs his dead arm and looks down, suddenly demoralized.

“Well, Richie thinks that.”

W-wait… what? What did I miss? When did he s-say that?

His friend exhales a breathless laugh.

“You know, last night… He went on and on about how he wished I was more like when we were kids and how disappointed on me he was. And you can’t tell me it’s not true, ’cause I heard it and it was exactly what it sounded like. Guess that’s one of the things he wouldn’t say to my face, huh?”

Eddie, I—

“But I can’t really blame him. I would have been disappointed in me too, if I noticed how… how I was letting my mother and Myra tame me.”

B-but they didn’t! E-Eddie, can’t you see? They couldn’t tame you. If they did, how… how could you have come back? How could you have r-returned to Derry and… and… S-she was begging you to go back to New York. She would have done a-anything to make you stay. But you decided to do what you t-thought was right, no matter what she s-said. She didn’t have full control over you, and neither did your m-m-mother.

“Then I guess Richie just doesn’t see it that way…”

Of course Richie sees it that way! L-listen, the only reason Richie was d-disappointed was ’cause… ’cause he wanted his friend back. And so did the rest of us. It’s true, we wanted the old Eddie back, but not because he was b-brave or strong… we wanted him back ’cause he was happy. ’Cause he wanted to keep moving f-forward, and overcome his… his fears, and travel the world on his… on his train or w-whatever.

And when we saw you again after almost t-thirty years, sad and defeated, it hurt. But not in the way you think. It didn’t hurt like it does when… I don’t know, when a war hero d-dies. It hurt like it does when you realize your best friend is living an u-unhappy life.

B-but you proved us wrong! ’Cause you still had the same fire in you. You still have it, E-Eddie. You r-re-rekindled it when you came back, even if your wife didn’t want you to. And when you… k-killed Bowers. And when you gave your life for… for us. And by coming to me now and letting me know… by letting R-Richie know… Man, you’re made of stone.

Bill means it. Eddie knows Bill means it. And the comforting feeling of the person he admires the most talking about him like that, it’s almost unbearable. He never thought something as reassuring as what Bill just told him could be this overwhelming, this physically hurtful. But even when it feels like dying all over again in the best way possible, there’s still a shadow of doubt in his eyes.

Bill breathes out.

Hey, it’s okay if you’re mad at R-Richie. Really, what he said was just horrible and you s-shouldn’t ever let anyone talk about you like t-that. So I just want you to f-forget about your feeling for h-him, about your cosmic mission, about It, about e-everything, and allow yourself to feel hurt. ’Cause the people you love can be assholes, too… especially Richie. And they can say shit they shouldn’t. And if that shit m-makes you sad or angry or any other f-feeling… it’s alright. But maybe you… if you’re still mad, you shouldn’t…

“Bill, I’ll go,” Eddie clarifies, “I already said I would. And I’m not doing it just for myself. Richie needs me now. He’s confused, he’s scared, he’s—”

He’s an adult. He’s my b-best friend and I love him, but he’s an adult. It’s not your job to… to figure out his life for him. That’s s-something he has to do by h-himself. Please, just… stop trying to be deep, stop trying to be existential, stop trying to… s-save him. You already did that. What he does from now on… it… it’s up to him. You’re not his ticket out of the c-closet, you’re not his spiritual guide. You’re just his friend who wants… who could start a r-relationship with him. That’s all you’ve got to be. And you’ve got to a-ask yourself if you… if you still want that. ’Cause if you don’t and you f-force yourself… well, someone will end up hurt.

Eddie nods his head thoughtfully, lips closed.

Please, just… think it over. Rich’s not a bad guy. He doesn’t d-deserve your resent just because you held on to something… s-something you weren’t ready to do. And you don’t deserve it, either.

“I understand what you say, but I still wanna do it. Not because of Richie, not because I just want to go out with a guy… I want to do it for myself. I know he said some shitty stuff… and I’m not gonna act like it didn’t hurt. Fuck, it still hurts a bit, but that’s not the point. I’ve been letting everything get in the way of… of what I want. And down there, with my arm gone, bleeding to death, all I could think about was how nice it would be to leave that place like nothing happened and simply… be with him. I won’t miss this chance. I wanna take it.”

Bill sighs and takes control of his right arm to rest a hand on Eddie’s shoulder and give it a sympathetic squeeze.

T-then I’ll be with you in every step of the way… l-literally.

Eddie can’t help but chuckle, but the laugher fades away when he rationalizes everything.

Are you okay?

He blinks a few times, shocked.

“Yeah, I just noticed… this is the first time I got nervous before a date… for the right reason.”

Bill laughs, too.

It’s what you d-deserve. And it’s how it’s g-gonna be from now on.

Eddie raises his left hand and puts it over Bill’s, a soft smile on his face.

Yes, this is how it’s going to be. This is how it always should have been.

They’re supposed to meet at a small cafeteria that Richie chose. Eddie is sure he wanted it to be in such an unknown place because he didn’t like the thought of people finding out about it, but since this is Bill’s body and the last thing Eddie wishes is for his reputation to be affected by this experience, he can’t get mad. Richie and Bill are both very famous people, and a picture of them going out on a date —especially when Mrs. Denbrough has been gone for such a short time— would break the internet. They can’t take risks.

Also, he doesn’t mind privacy. After all, Richie is not the only one who’s trying to get used to the gay thing. Even though they already held hands and kissed, doing it out in the open world feels different. None of them are ready to take that step.

So he goes to this little bar, full of colorful murals and artsy details here and there, and stands in front of the glass door, building up the courage to open it, knowing what’s waiting for him on the other side. Once he does it, he doesn’t have any trouble to find Richie. He’s not far away from the exit, and is being loud enough while picking up his jacket and phone, prepared to leave. Eddie can hear him mumbling, talking to himself.

“Uh, Eds, sorry I couldn’t go I just…” Richie practices, “I had to… I had to check on my… No, that sucks, he’s not gonna buy that… Eds, sorry, I should have called but my grandma is in the hospital and… No, fuck, no, he knows my grandmother is dead… Okay, Rich, you can do it, one more time… Eds, I’ve got syphilis… Damn, what the hell I’m thinking? Ghosts don’t give a fuck about STDs… On the other hand, is Eddie who we’re talking about, so maybe…”

He starts walking to the door while saying this, so immersed on his monologue that he doesn’t notice Eddie’s presence until they’re face to face. His expression when he sees him is so priceless that Eddie can’t even get angry.

“Do you have to be at somewhere else?” He grins, maliciously.

Richie opens his mouth and shuts it, his index finger raising as if he had something to say, even when he doesn’t have a clue.

“You were trying to leave, weren’t you?”

He gulps and nods without a word.

“I really want to say I can’t believe this, but actually—”

“Eds, it’s not what you think,” Richie quickly explains.

“Oh, what is it, then?”

“Listen, Eddie, I… They’re gonna send me to… I’ve got… I’ve got gonorrhea, okay?”

“Didn’t you have syphilis like… thirty seconds ago?”

“That one too… also my ex is pregnant.”

“Let’s sit down and order the fucking food. I’m starving.”

He’s walking to the table, chuckling and shaking his head, before Richie can throw another excuse, and he doesn’t have any option but following him and taking a seat.

Here they are, only a dark wood surface and two menus between them, forced to have every conversation they’ve ignored since this madness started. Richie secretly wonders if the serious conversations will ever end, and Eddie kind of wants them to stop, too, but they know they’re necessary. It’s what they have to do.

“I really didn’t want to stand you up,” Richie says, and he sounds honest.

“It’s okay,” Eddie cuts him, “You’re scared, that’s all. I was scared, too.”

“Did you think about standing me up?”

“Uh… well, maybe not that scared, but definitely nervous. Bill said I was gonna leave America without lotion for three years if I kept that up,” he laughs a bit, “Just wanted to smell good, honestly.”

Richie nods, surprisingly solemn, and after a few seconds he seems to realize it was supposed to be a funny moment and not a transcendental one, so he makes one of his pathetic attempts to be smooth. They usually work… with twenty-something-year old girls. But Eddie is not a twenty-something-year old girl begging him to sleep with her. So it comes off forced and teenager-like.

“Oh, you… you do smell good, I guess?” He stutters, “Shit, I didn’t mean to say that. I mean, I wasn’t putting a lot of attention into it and it’s not like you don’t smell good all the time or anything… I mean, you have smelt better… No, wait, I really didn’t mean to say that. What I’m trying to say is… It’s not Bill’s lotion, I guess? Like, it’s you, your last body smelt nice, too… Well, probably not right now, but—”

“Beep-beep, Richie. I get the picture.”

Richie groans, frustrated, and looks down.

“Sorry, this is a bit weird for me. This doesn’t happen often.”

“What?”

“Well… this!” He makes an exaggerated gesture with his hands, “C’mon, you can’t tell me this isn’t weird.”

Eddie frowns, but the amused smile remains on his face.

“I thought you were used to go out on dates and talk to people.”

“Oh, yeah, I sure am.” He takes a breadstick from the basket between them and gives it a bite, “But this isn’t a… normal situation, you know?”

“Because I look like Bill or…?”

“No, I don’t care ’bout that… It’s just… Argh, it’s hard for me to talk to guys.”

“Richie, what the fuck?”

“I know it’s stupid, okay? You don’t need to tell me...”

“But you’re a guy, too!” He exclaims, trying not to burst out in laughter.

“Yeah, but you’re not just any guy. Like, there’s normal guys and there’s you! I mean…” Then he notices what he said, “Fuck, I know what it sounded like but it wasn’t supposed to sound like that. It’s not because of the… the thing.”

“The thing?”

“Yeah, you know…” He leans towards Eddie and whispers, “The thing.”

“Do you mean…” Eddie imitates him, still making an effort to control his chuckles, “The gay thing?”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I mean.”

“Hi, may I take your order?” A waitress who neither of them knows where she came from suddenly asks.

That’s when they remember they’re in a public place and they’re so close their noses almost touch, so they both jump away from each other and stridently clear their throats while opening the menus.

“Billy, I was thinking of ordering the Philly cheese stake sandwich, what do you think?” Richie says, a little too loud.

“Uh… yeah, it sounds like a good idea.”

“Would you like to have one, too, Bill Denbrough, my best friend?”

“Just order whatever,” Eddie groans, rubbing his temples.

“Okay, so that will be, please,” he tells the waitress.

She nods, takes the menus and walks away. Their relieved sighs when she’s gone can be heard in the whole restaurant.

“You’re over-acting,” Eddie warns.

“Over-acting? I’m a fucking actor!”

“If you act like that in your movies…”

“Well, my fans don’t seem to care.”

“Do your fans know you can’t even have a normal conversation with a guy?”

“I already told you you’re not just some guy! You’re… Eddie!”

“Oh, right, the thing.”

“It’s not about the thing.”

“Sure it isn’t…” Eddie rolls his eyes.

“I’m getting a sense of déjà vu with this talk…”

“Yeah, we already had it, and you still can’t say the word ‘gay.’”

“Ugh, man, give me a rest. This ain’t easy.”            

“Richie, we only have two weeks. You said you wanted to say it back, but you weren’t ready. I’m giving you all the time I can, but I think you just don’t want to be ready at all. Do you even like me?”

“Of course I fucking like you, asshole!” He snaps, remembering to keep his voice low, “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. I wouldn’t have kept that stupid, fake aspirator around if I didn’t. But this is hard for me, okay? It took you forty years to come to terms with… with the thing! And you still expect me to be all over you in less than 24 hours. At this time yesterday I was the straightest guy in town.

”I love women, alright? I love how they look and how they smell and how they run their nails down my back.” He sighs, “But… but looking back, I also liked how you looked and your smell and I… I’ve spent the whole fucking night thinking about your nails running down my back. And it’s so confusing and frustrating.

”I’m not gay, Eds! I know you want me to say I’m gay, but I really don’t feel like that. You’re the one who makes me feel this way. And I want it to stop but not really at the same time. Just… See? This is why I can’t say it. I’m sorry, but as soon as you’re gone, the feeling will be gone and I’ll go back to normal. There’s nothing we can do. So what’s the point of thinking it over? This goes nowhere.”

Once he finishes, he’s surprised to find out Eddie doesn’t look mad or done with the drama at all. Instead, his eyes are sad and understanding, like the only thing he could conclude from his rant was that Richie is unhappy and he doesn’t want him to feel like that. The waitress stops them from continuing talking when she comes back and puts their sandwiches in front of them, but when she leaves, they know they can’t ignore everything that’s been said.

“Then why are you here?” Eddie quietly asks, before giving his sandwich a bite.

“Why am I here?” Richie questions, puzzled.

“Yeah, why did you come if you thought it went nowhere? Why waste your time?”

“It’s what I do, Eds. I make out with someone and my mind goes all over the place, and I think ‘damn, this could be good’, so I give them a try ’cause this time could be different and I might prove I’m not just the funny guy on T.V. Then we get to know each other and they realize they don’t want just sex. They want you to undress your soul and tell them about your childhood trauma and have a lot of meaningful conversations that go on for hours. They want you to get married and have babies and buy a nice little house in the suburbs.

”Then they find out you can’t give them those things and try to change you. And when you realize you’re just the fantasy of the emotionally inaccessible guy… you tell them to put their dress back on and leave your house, and the next weekend you make out with someone new.”

Eddie remains mute.

“Sorry, I’ve been watching BoJack Horseman,” Richie apologizes, tearing off the bread’s crust, “But, hey, that’s fine. We’re just two old friends hanging out and…”

There’s an uncomfortable silence. The kind of silence Eddie desperately wanted to avoid. However, it isn’t like the ones he used to share with his previous dates. Those were terrible and scary, full of ridiculous attempts to restart the conversation, even when it was already dead. This silence feels like something needed, natural. They don’t want to rush out of it for the sake of stop being awkward. They want to work it out once they have something to say.

“Well, at least you don’t have to tell me about your childhood trauma,” Eddie shrugs, and Richie smiles, “I’m sorry if I pressured you. I didn’t mean to—”

“No, Eds, I’m sorry. I felt so bad about you being gone, and there was nothing I wanted more than you coming back… And when you do it, I just decide to be an asshole and call you names and act like you wasted your whole life, ’cause you didn’t throw everything you had away for things you didn’t even remember. It wasn’t fair.”

“Hey.” He looks around and puts his hand over Richie’s, “It’s okay if you like both, you know?”

“What?”

“Men and women. Seriously, it’s fine. You don’t have to pick a side… at least for me. I’m okay with it.”

Richie lets go a small, bitter laugh.

“Yeah, you say that now—”

“And I’ll say it again later if you need me to. I’ll say it every day ’till I leave: there’s nothing wrong about it.”

“Oh, c’mon, don’t make it a coming out story. We kissed and I liked it. I never wanted a guy before, just you. When you leave, this leaves with you.”

“What if you meet another man?”

“It took me forty years to meet you, and we’ve known each other since before I could even read. I think I’ll be fine.”

“You can’t say that. You don’t know that.”

“Listen, Eds,” he starts, firm, “I know one thing: I’ve been treated like a freak almost my whole life. I’ve been punched and kicked and thrown into trash cans. My glasses got broken so many times I ended up buying contacts. And look at me now.” He opens his arms, “Sorry, but I can’t go back to be a freak again.”

Eddie leaves his sandwich on the plate and stands up. Despite how tears are doing everything they can to fill his eyes up, his face stays impassible.

“I never thought you were a freak, Richie,” he says, “And the other Losers didn’t think that, either.” He grabs his coat from the chair’s back, “We used to be enough for you. I’m sorry you need everyone else to love you now. I’m sorry you gave up.”

Richie’s eyes are wide-open.

“Wait, Eds, where you going?”

“I’m leaving, Rich,” Eddie answers, already walking to the door. He hears Richie’s steps behind him, but he doesn’t stop, “Call me when you make up your mind.”

“Man, what the fuck? C’mon, you know I… Eds, please, I… You know how I am, you know I say stupid things…”

They walk out the restaurant, Eddie first and Richie a few steps after him.

“So I have to sit there and be your punching bag, just because you can’t get your shit together?” Eddie demands, face on fire as he turns around to look at him, “You’re fucking forty, Richie, and you still act like a child. I can leave whenever I want, you know? I could have left yesterday if I wanted to. But you said you wanted me to stay, and now it’s like you’re dreaming of the day I’m gone so you can go back to being straight or whatever you are. I felt like a freak, too, but I got over it because I love you. And I grew up in the same town, with the same people and going to the same church. You don’t have an excuse. Next time you’re not sure about being ready for something, just fucking say ‘no.’ Maybe you like losing time, but I don’t have time to lose.”

Putting his fingers against his lips, Eddie loudly whistles to call a cab, which is parking next to the sidewalk within a matter of seconds. He’s about to open the backseat door, when Richie yells.

“And I can’t lose you again!”

Eddie lets go of the handle and looks at him.

“Really, man, what the fuck have you done to me?” Richie continues, “I keep thinking I’m on a nightmare or a bad acid trip, ’cause I can’t believe this shit. I’m… I’m going crazy. This can’t be happening, you can’t be back from death, I can’t… I… I’m not gay!”

Eddie takes a few steps closer, gaze still reluctant. The fact that Richie doesn’t go back isn’t surprising enough to distract him of the topic. When he talks again, his voice is soft, comforting, as he stares into Richie’s eyes.

“No, you’re not gay.”

“I’m not…” Richie mutters, lips trembling.

“You aren’t.”

“I’m not,” he repeats, with more confidence, “I’m not gay. I… I’m… I like… both. I like both, Eds.”

“You like both,” Eddie nods, a smile blossoming on his face as he cries at the same time.

Richie can’t help but laugh out loud. Normally, Richie’s exaggerated reactions would piss Eddie off, but, with this one, he feels like it’s justified. When he figured out his own sexuality, he couldn’t even finish a sentence, when all he wanted to do was shout it at the top of his lungs. He’s just glad Richie has the opportunity to celebrate it as noisily as he wishes.

“Shit, I’ve been such an idiot with you, I’m sorry,” Richie laments, “But this time for real.”

“It’s okay,” Eddie assures him, “You were very confused, I should have been more understanding.”

“Oh, don’t worry, you waited your whole life to get some, it’s fair that you wanted it as soon as possible.”

“Beep-beep, Richie.”

“So, let’s get this one thing straight—”

“We’re not,” he jokes, rolling his eyes.

Richie looks shocked.

“Wow, Eddie Spaghetti gets off a good one!” He exclaims, taking Eddie’s dead hand and giving it a hi-five, “But, seriously, I wanna make sure I got it right… You… like me… in a gay way.”

“True…”

“And I…” He points at himself, “Like you… in a bisexual way!”

“You’ve got it,” Eddie smirks.

“And that means we… you and I… are on a 75% gay relationship.”

“Last time I checked we were just having our first date.”

“Oh, yeah, almost forgot,” Richie coincides, scratching the back of his neck, “I guess I kinda ruined that, didn’t I?”

“Well, not yet… our table is still there. Maybe we could… still have lunch together?”

“You’re okay with that?”

“Sure… Are you okay with that, too? It’s not just about what I want and you’ve been through a lot, so...”

“It’s alright for me.”

“Then let’s go.”

They laugh again and walk inside, playfully bumping into the other’s side, chuckling all the way back to their table.

“I know this is fucked up,” Eddie says, taking his sandwich, “I mean, me coming back, Bill and I in the same body. I guess I focused so much on my own feelings I didn’t think about yours. So, if you have any questions about this—”

“I’ve got a few, yeah.”

“Just ask me. I promise I’ll tell you everything I can.”

Richie takes a sip of his glass of Coke and nods thoughtfully. He puts it back on the table and starts rubbing his own chin.

“I have one…”

“Anything you need to know.”

“If one of you gets a boner—”

“Okay, okay, okay,” he interrupts, “Do you have any non-sexual questions? Something that doesn’t have anything to do with body reactions at all?”

Richie thinks it over.

“Actually… No, not that many.”

“Well, that saves some time.”

They both giggle.

“Hey,” Richie mumbles, “thank you for dealing with me. I know it’s hard.”

“Deal with an arm getting bitten off your shoulder and then talk about hard stuff,” Eddie grins, “But really, don’t thank me. You don’t need to. I’m glad things went this way.”

“You know, I… I think I changed my mind. I do have a question.”

“Tell me.”

“If you survived… if you finished that confession and miraculously didn’t die… what do you think would have happened?”

Eddie gives it a thought.

“I’m not sure. What do you think?”

“Oh, fuck, I think that probably… I would have gotten scared and told you I didn’t feel the same. And we’d have gone back to our everyday lives and forget about each other.”

Eddie nods, contemplatively.

“Well, I don’t think that. I mean, I guess you could have gotten scared or too confused. Maybe you would have rejected me. But I don’t think I could go back to Myra… I wasn’t happy with her and I knew I’d never be. I found out what I wanted when we met again, but I always knew what I didn’t want.”

“Yeah, you’re right. But what if… I don’t know, if actually looking at your face and hearing your voice made it easier to process? What if I said it back and I brought you to California with me and… we got married? Like, big Hollywood wedding? Happy ever after and all that jazz?”

“Maybe,” Eddie chuckles, “But we’ll never know that.”

“No, we’ll never know…”

It’s Richie’s time to take Eddie’s hand. When he feels the pressure of his fingers over his, Eddie freezes.

“I’m glad things went this way, too, Eds.”

Dating is not that bad at all.

Tag list: @trippy-alexissss

I know there was more people who wanted to be tagged, but I lost the list with their urls so, if you want to be tagged, please let me know and I’m so sorry for these problems.

[plinys]

dear yuletide author (2018)

hello and welcome to my letter!

i am so happy to have you reading this letter and going to be writing a fic for me! why? because you dear writer are an amazing and wonderful person, deserving of all the kudos in the world!

please remember as you look at these prompts, that if something in my likes inspires you more than any of my specific prompts, totally feel free and run with that, and know that i will enjoy any fic that is gifted to me!!

ao3/lj handle: plinys

now lets get down to business:

the fandoms i’ve requested this year are: Babe - Sugarland ft. Taylor Swift (Music Video) , Dramarama - Monsta X (Music Video) , The Gifted (TV 2017) ,  Partners (TV 2012) , A Simple Favor (2018), and Superman Returns (2006)

but before that, my likes/kinks/dislikes/triggers:

likes: alternate universes, characters that are in character, lady-centric fics, angst, fandom cliches, dysfunctional relationships, friendships, friends/enemies to lovers, soul mates, road trips,  hanukkah fics, jewish characters, bisexual characters, poly relationships, character studies, origin stories, ambiguous endings, meta fic, slow build, fics that incorporate social media, crack treated seriously, drunk confessions, miscommunication,

kinks: threesomes, competence kink, phone sex, masturbation, crying during sex, hate sex, shower sex, praise kink, guys going down on girls, rough sex, first time, spanking, daddy kink, sex in front of mirrors, voyeurism, make up sex

dislikes: pwp, main character death (unless it really makes sense/happens in canon), character bashing, non-con, mpreg, a/b/o, 1st person, 2nd person 

my triggers (please no matter what do not include these): school shootings, cancer, terminal illness, riots, child abuse.

and now to the fun stuff -

Babe - Sugarland ft. Taylor Swift (Music Video) 

characters: Cheating Husband (Babe), Mistress (Babe), Wife (Babe)

where to watch: the music video is up on youtube

prompts: 

right after watching this video, my first thought was that i was disappointed that the cheating husband didn’t die in the end. like he should have died they set it all up for him to die. so do me a favor and write a fic where he gets exactly what he deserved

bonus points if we get something where the ladies team up to do him in, maybe it’s all a big long con, maybe they were actually working together to kill him for the insurance money or something. (make them gay if you want, or make them bonded as friends because the same man screwed them over either way im chill)

alternatively - if someone wants to write smut between the cheating husband and the mistress that’s totally fine by me because imagining brandon routh and taylor swift together is something that i could get behind so uh feel free

honestly if you can make anything come out of this music video it would make me very happy because its one of my favorites and literally any fic about it will be good 

Dramarama - Monsta X (Music Video)

characters: Chae Hyungwon (Dramarama MV)

where to watch: the music video is here on youtube

prompts: 

so a good place to start would probably be with some sort of explanation for what is going on in the music video and there is a lot of theories but honestly ive got like only 80% of a clue after reading them all so good luck. basically if you don’t know anything about who the boys are (i don’t even go here technically, my roommate just showed me the video a while back and when  saw it in the tag set i got super interested in requesting fic about it)

 i nominated hyungwon, he’s the one in the video who is in the suit and sort of giving out all of the watches that enable the other to travel through time. im mainly looking for backstory on his character, what is his role in all of this? what is his motivation? why did he choose this set of people to give the watches too

also related just expanding on the concept of time travel presented in the video. in this case you don’t have to focus on hyungwon, you can focus on the other sort of “men in black” showed or any of the other duo’s presented

honestly whatever you could pull out of this video would be really interesting to me! if something inspires you after watching the video consider total freedom when it comes to this prompt

The Gifted (TV 2017)

characters: Lorna Dane (The Gifted (TV 2017)), Marcos Diaz (The Gifted (TV 2017))

where to watch: all of season one is on hulu, and it’s current airing weekly

prompts:

so i realize that by time reveals are the show will have finished season two so who knows how we will all feel about them by then and what will have happened but right now in canon i am very much emotionally compromised by everything going on with lorna/marcos and so i am asking for 100% shippy prompts for them

there was a lot of missing moments in season one that could be expanded on. when they were together in the underground. fluffy little things with them having discussions about their baby, soft bed sharing stuff, making promises to protect each other, just anything soft with them expecting the baby is right up my alley

and then of course now were in season two and things arent so easy, depending on how things go in canon i would love some sort of fic of them getting back together and getting to be a big happy family. if that means marcos joining the inner circle or lorna leaving, ether way works for me

at nycc sean (who plays marcos) said that “there isn’t a man who loves his daughter more, and he hasn’t even met her” obviously now he has met her. but i would love just some character study of marcos inner turmoil over all of this 

seriously though anything lorna/marcos will make me happy

Partners (TV 2012)

characters: Louis McManus, Wyatt Plank

where to watch: i’ve only found it on less than legal streaming sites

prompts:

if you havent seen this, which you probably have not, it is a very quick watch, it’s like ten episodes of a sitcom, very easy to consume quickly. and im 90% certain that someone has made a cut of just the louis/wyatt scenes on youtube. it got cancelled before its first season ever finished. 

louis/wyatt are an established relationship on the show, very cute and domestic, and just silly sitcom vibes. this is sort of my easy request, because im not really looking for anything dramatic with this one. do you like writing curtain fic? easy fluff? whatever is light and easy and suits your fancy

if youre in a smutty mood you could totally work with this one because i mean established relationship and there was definitely a few fade to black scenes in the sitcom so feel free

before the series ended there was like a discussion of them making their relationship even more serious, obviously that was sort of a cliffhanger to end the series on. but if you would like to expand on that and write where you think their lives would have gone next i would love to read that!

A Simple Favor (2018)

characters: Emily Nelson (A Simple Favor (2018)),  Stephanie Smothers (A Simple Favor (2018))

where to watch: at a theater near you!

prompts: 

okay so i know their relationship dynamic was a little fucked up (or well, a lot) but that is exactly what is so perfect about them. i want dysfunctional relationships, power imbalances, codependency, all the bad wrong dirty tropes that you can fit in with these two

i would LOVE some smut with them. you see my kinks list back up there at the top, use some of those. the more sinful the better, because how could you watch this movie and not think about these two ladies fucking in that fancy house? drinks turns into emily teaching stephanie how to go down on another woman like? these are just things that i greatly need in my life

i am very much interested in reading alternate endings where stephanie took emily up on her offer and ran away with her. where would they go? how do they start over? how do they fall for each other? tell that story (and of course bonus points if its smutty)

or maybe ones where things still go on the canon route but stephanie still cannot stop thinking about emily, and the inevitably of two people always meant to be drawn back together even if its against all logical reasoning

if youre in an au mix mood, these two would be perfect for some sort of slightly fucked up soulmate au. i would love to see something like that

Superman Returns (2006)

characters:  Clark Kent (Superman Returns (2006)), Lois Lane (Superman Returns (2006))

where to watch: i rented it off amazon? not sure if there’s anywhere legally to see it for free

prompts: 

so at the end of the movie lois and clark arent actually together and we never got another movie so i find myself desperately in need of fic in which they do get back together, properly this time, and obviously with some revealing of identities and all that other important stuff

also theyve got a kid together and i am literally always weak for kidfics so i would love something to do with that. clark realizing that he has a son but that he can’t come out as clark and reveal that he’s aware of this and the dilemma that comes from that

or honestly just cute domestic family stuff, feel free to skip right past the getting together and give some nice super family fluff. i just want everyone to be happy 

ANYWAYS I HOPE SOME OF THOSE PROMPTS SUIT YOUR FANCY! no matter what i know i will love whatever you write, thank you!

[fandom-trash-17]

LISTEN THE FUCK UP BECAUSE ITS IMPORTANT AND ITS FUCKING 4 AM AND I SHOULD BE ASLEEP

I tried my best to avoid this situation

But it’s everywhere

All over my dash. And I need to let out how I feel and why everyone should calm. Down.

So s7 of Voltron Legendary Defenders came out about, a week or two ago with a promise of LGBT Rep. And if you’ve been on Tumblr or the VLD tags long enough, you know how most people reacted.

But the people who are fresh out of the womb to this situation, I’ll explain. Like I’ve stated before VLD had promised LGBT rep in s7 and introduced the character Adam, Shiro’s boyfriend. They also included a scene with them together but not the “having a romantic time” together. It was basically a break up scene.

I understand why you’re mad.

You wanted rep but you didn’t get exactly what you’d thought would happen. The scene of when Adam was telling Shiro why he shouldn’t go just seems like a regular convo between two bros looking out for each other. I understand why you maybe dissatisfied. I understand that killing off Adam was upsetting. I honestly wished he was still alive.

But is it really worth going apeshit over it?

Like come on people we’re better than that! More mature! Is it worth insulting the whole team, who worked hard on making VLD happen???? Like for the millionth time I get why you’re upset but it’s not the end of the world!

I see and understand why people are upset, but that doesn’t mean you should attack the creators. They work hard to make this show, and they have to deal with shit just to get a season out. Harassment, people threatening to post leaks and having the show CANCELLED just to have their ship or HC canon, so many goddamn violent threats being thrown at the crew to the point where Bex Taylor (I probably spelt her name wrong) does not feel safe at all going to Cons BECAUSE of the s7 backlash.

You got to keep in mind that this TV show is about teens who got shot into fucking space by a space cat because they were chosen to protect the world. The reason why it was so short and brief is because they didn’t want to get too sidetracked from the story. And either way they probably couldn’t win. It was either get hate and threats from homophobes complaining or the LGBT. I honestly do think they could’ve done a little better with the scene, and I wish they didn’t kill him, but things were limited. Just except our gay Shiro dad because he does not need a boyfriend to prove he’s gay. Hell we might learn more about Adam in season 8 so get off your high horses, do something else and wait.

Oh, if you suddenly hate Voltron because of one little thing then leave. Just leave the creators out of it because you’re just adding wood to this forest fire and it ain’t doin shit.

TL;DR

You can be upset but don’t be a jackass to the crew. Maybe give your thoughts in a calm manner instead of a ballistic Goose on drugs.

s7 obviously had its flaws but s8 will be better. All we have to do is wait and be patient

But if you can’t do that, you might aswell leave.

Sidenote: sorry if this seems rushed. I don’t want my mom to catch me up at this time again and I’m really tired, I just couldn’t wait till morning. I’m just, tired in general

Just take this video and these tweets

https://youtu.be/_O9xfp89QI0

Goodnight

[mrsabbington-blog]

Farewell, my dear Watson: Amanda Abbington on Sherlock and her break-up with Martin Freeman

The actress’s career was going from strength to strength when her relationship with her co-star imploded. She tells Bryan Appleyard how she contained the fallout

Amanda Abbington — who, as Mary Morstan, took a bullet for Sherlock Holmes — has a new man whom she won’t name. “He’s lovely, we’re keeping it very much on the low down. We don’t want lots of people to know. We’ve been together for about a year now. He’s an actor and he’s delightful. He’s very mindful of my situation and I’m very mindful of his.”

She was with Holmes’s sidekick, Dr Watson — aka Martin Freeman — for 16 years. They have two children, Grace and Joe. They broke up in 2016 while they were both starring in Sherlock.

“We still get on really well, we still really both admire each other as actors … he’s a great guy, but we just couldn’t live with each other any more.”

Given that Sherlock was an international hit, and that Freeman achieved global superstardom as Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit, this was a high-profile break-up. She was papped, looking supposedly “disconsolate” while out shopping.

Trying to keep the new man a mystery is understandable. But it won’t be easy. Tabloids have recently been reporting that she and Northern Irish actor Jonjo O’Neill are an item. She is neither confirming nor denying this. The paps would have been after her anyway, because she is the star of Safe, a new Netflix series by the crime author Harlan Coben. The first strange thing about this show is her co-star Michael C Hall, who played the Miami serial killer Dexter and the gay undertaker David Fisher in Six Feet Under. Here, he is a dodgy English husband in a wealthy suburban enclave (in fact Manchester, but you’re not supposed to know that). The strange thing is his English accent, which is near perfect.

“He was really worried about that. English accents are hard for Americans to do. I don’t think he had a voice coach.”

Her voice has a slight southeastern working-class flavour. She talks quickly, eagerly and laughs a lot and, for some reason, she seems much prettier in the flesh than on TV. I am sure, however, there is something wrong with her tastebuds. We’re both having tuna salad at a studio in north London. The fish is perfectly inedible, but she eats it all.

To get back to Hall — he will always be Dexter to me, so I’m pretty sure he’s guilty of something other than the affair he’s having with Sophie, the detective sergeant played by Abbington, which is revealed in the first episode. Also revealed is the fact that Sophie’s ex-husband is living in a caravan in her front garden.

This is the second time she’s played a detective sergeant. The first was Jo Moffatt in the series Cuffs in 2015. The BBC cancelled that after one series. She was also Detective Chief Inspector Louise Munroe in Case Histories, another BBC series. Female police officers, we agree, have a long and distinguished screen history. “Prime Suspect,” I suggest. “Helen Mirren!”

“The Gentle Touch!” she replies. “Cagney and Lacey! Angie Dickinson! I loved Police Woman. I wanted to be Angie Dickinson when I was growing up.”

There’s a good reason she fantasised about being a strong woman with a gun. For three years at primary school she was badly bullied — her lunches were stolen and she was called ugly, stupid and smelly. Nobody would play with her.

“There was a group of girls who made my life miserable. I am now very, very aware of it when it happens anywhere. If it happens to my kids or on the street or on the internet I’ll wade in.”

She’s certainly an active and sweary anti-bullying and anti-general-nastiness campaigner on Twitter — she is @CHIMPSINSOCKS.

“I’ve never understood the c**** who abuse and hurt animals,” was her latest tweet as I was writing this. “Wonderful. Just wonderful. Let’s make older women feel even more f****** invisible and unattractive,” she tweeted about a story saying men preferred younger women.

She was brought up in Hertfordshire, her father was a taxi driver and her mother was tough: she finally found out about the bullies and went round to the house of one of them. “If your child does anything like that to my daughter again,” she said, “I won’t be responsible for my actions.”

Her mother’s fierceness and her grandmother’s advice seem to have prepared her for the perils of show business. When I ask her the inevitable Harvey Weinstein question, she says she’s never had a problem. “I always go on a film set as a mate of everybody. I set my stall out. I’m just going to be like the funny mate who hangs out with the sparks and the prop boys, and I make sure I am not someone you can take the piss out of or take advantage of. I learnt that from my nana — be strong, make them laugh and don’t take shit from anybody.”

Anyway, there she is in Hertfordshire worshipping Angie Dickinson and wanting to be on stage. Somehow this leads her into dancing. She studied dance from the age of five. Eventually she got auditions for Cats and Starlight Express, but she knew she wasn’t good enough. In any case, the decision was made for her when, aged 18, she did the splits and ripped the muscles in her groin.

“That ended my dancing career, but I would never have been a good dancer. Then a drama teacher told me that he thought my talent lay in acting and he was absolutely right. I’d always performed, always made up stories and done funny voices. I went to a tiny drama school in Hitchin and I felt like I’d come home.”

She picked up small parts — The Bill, Wycliffe, Casualty and so on. But there was no real breakthrough. Well, there was one: the Maltesers TV ads she made with Katherine Parkinson. Unlike almost every TV ad ever made anywhere, they are still worth watching.

At one point she went 18 months without any work, changing her agent half a dozen times in desperation. The first stirrings of a change in her fortunes came with ITV’s Mr Selfridge — she was Josie Mardle — which ran for four series between 2013 and 2016.

“My character was an amalgamation of quite a few women who worked within the top echelons of Selfridges. There was so much going on in those years — the suffragettes, the Titanic. It was a dream job.”

It was a success, but not huge and a bit middle-aged — it was not for geeks, millennials or snowflakes, so it could not really go, as we must say, viral. All that changed when the actor and screenwriter Mark Gatiss invited her and Freeman to sit in on a discussion on the third series of Sherlock. They wanted to bring in a new character from the books, Mary Morstan, who first appears in The Sign of Four. Abbington had a couple of ideas. “I said Nicola Walker, she would be amazing in it. Or Olivia Colman.”

It was a set-up, they were going to offer it to her all along. She burst into tears. Sherlock was the big TV show of the moment.

“People started to say hello to me in the street when Sherlock started. Mr Selfridge wasn’t iconic. Sherlock hit the ground running and everyone went mad about it.”

She did seven episodes in two series, then she saved the life of Holmes and sacrificed her own by taking the bullet; it’s an invented incident, Mary dies in the books, but the cause is unknown. I ask her why a mouthy, Estuary-accented working-class girl like her would take a bullet for a toff — Holmes being played by the old Harrovian Benedict Cumberbatch.

“I know! Why would she do that? I wouldn’t, I’d run the other way.”

Did being killed off upset her?

“No, it made sense. And, anyway, you never really leave Sherlock, there are always flashbacks. So if they ever do another one I’m hoping they’ll have me back.”

The strange thing about her role in Sherlock was not simply that it made her famous. Out there on the easily offended, lost-its-grip-on-reality internet it made her notorious as the scheming woman who came between the previously happy and — in the imaginations of some fans — gay relationship between Holmes and Watson.

“I made the mistake of talking about the fan art very early on. They used to do some beautiful work about Watson and Sherlock being together as a couple, and I made an off-the-cuff remark that I wasn’t entirely happy with this because my kids might see it. The fallout was terrible and I felt really bad. I wasn’t being disparaging about their work. It got out of hand and I managed to make a lot of enemies. I had to do a lot of damage limitation. It’s because they’re fiercely protective of the show and that’s brilliant! But it means you have to treat it with a lot of respect.”

Meanwhile, Freeman had to be away for years in New Zealand shooting The Hobbit. While away she had the children to look after and had a cancer scare — a lump in her breast that turned out to be harmless. She also landed herself in trouble with the taxman. She was declared bankrupt because of an unpaid £120,000 tax bill. “I didn’t pay enough over a period of years and it accumulated, but for the record I paid it all back with a huge amount of interest,” she says. “Because I’m an idiot and I didn’t put enough away. It was my biggest regret and now I make sure everything is in place where it can never happen again.”

On top of that, their relationship was in trouble and, in the midst of the Sherlock episodes that put them on screen together, they broke up. They kept it as quiet as they could. “When we broke up nobody knew, we didn’t tell anybody except for a few key people because they had to know, because of the logistics of hotels and stuff. It took six months for it to get out and a lot of that was while we were working on Sherlock.

“We were not children, we weren’t going to start throwing crap at each other. We were professional and we were going to get on and make a show and be civil to each other. That’s far more important than being angry and being sad.”

Safe could have her up there again. The first episode I saw looked very promising and Coben does seem to be associated with hits. We’ll see.

Abbington, meanwhile, is back in her home village of Little Heath, Hertfordshire, with her parents living down the road. She’s an only child, they’re close. She loved being an only child because it made it easier to get on with adults and she never had to put up with rows like those between her children.

“Please, Mummy, can I get an agent,” says Grace, who is nine. She wants to be an actor. Abbington thinks she has the talent and presence to succeed. But she’s cautious. Parts like Mary Morstan and Josie Mardle don’t grow on trees.

Safe launches on Netflix on May 10

[briangroth27]

The Exorcist Season 2 Review

I came into Season 2 wary of the show’s direction—in Season 1, I loved the Rance family plotline but found the papal conspiracy boring—so I was glad the show shifted focus almost completely to the “possession of the season.” Not only is a family in peril easier for me to relate to and invest in, but the conspiracy element has never felt very “Exorcist” to me and I’m glad it all but disappeared by the end of the season (even if the homage to Exorcist III’s famous hospital hallway scene was well done). In Season 2, a family was once again under siege by a demon and only Fathers Ortega (Alfonso Herrera) and Keane (Ben Daniels) could help them. This time, the family consisted of Andy Kim (John Cho) and the several foster children under his care (Brianna Hildebrand, Cyrus Arnold, Hunter Dillon, Alex Barmia, Amelie Eve, and eventually Beatrice Kitsos). I liked that the kids’ diversities—be they blindness, homosexuality, developmental issues, etc.—were utilized for characterization, but those were never the kids’ sole defining characteristics. I really hope fans didn’t take issue with the kids, Andy, and Rose (Li Jun Li) all representing some facet of diversity; this is what the world looks like and I’m glad the show fully embraced it. It’s also cool that a foster home run by a single dad was treated as just as viable a family as a traditional nuclear family.

Full spoilers…

I liked what all the kids brought to the family, particularly when their differences collided with each other, like Shelby’s religious beliefs and Verity’s torture at the hands of “pray out the gay” conditioning. However, it did seem like there might’ve been one too many children to fully dig into in terms of screentime. It felt like they all had solid, distinct personalities; they just didn’t have much to do. Early on it seemed like Caleb might have a bigger role to play, but outside of his initial adventure on the old well and a few moments of his blindness being used to create tension when he couldn’t see the possessed Andy, it felt like his story was a little thinner than it could’ve been. Ditto for Truck, who was sent away midway through the season. I definitely expected Shelby to become something of a junior exorcist when Marcus and Tomas arrived at the Kim household, but not doing so didn’t feel unfinished (particularly when you take into account what we learned of Marcus’ past with eager exorcists). I liked that he was identifying the unholy signs early on, though, and perhaps they could’ve nodded at him wanting to become an exorcist one day in the future. Harper didn’t get much time at the Kim house before things went crazy, but I did like that we got to see how the family adjusted to a new kid through her introduction. Verity got the most mileage out of the writing and Hildebrand crafted a compelling teen who didn’t always get along with her new family, but clearly loved them despite the front she sometimes put up. Going back for a book Andy had given her was a touching moment and I was happy she was the one to stick by Andy longest. I totally fell for the trick that “agoraphobic” Grace wasn’t real, though her “brave face”—the creepiest pillow case-turned-mask ever—should’ve been a major clue.

John Cho brilliantly balanced Andy’s grief over his wife Nicole’s (Alicia Witt) suicide, guilt for not seeing the signs of her depression, care for the kids, affection for Rose, and the demonic side that overtook him as the series progressed. I loved the layers of hallucinations the demon inflicted on him as it attempted to bond with him permanently by enticing him with a “fairy tale” life with his wife. Witt did a great job playing both the caring and troubled Nicole and the maliciously tempting demon trying to entrap him. I’m a fan of puns, so “the kids are in the garden” was a particularly fun bit of dark and ominous humor from her. The battle for Andy’s soul was intense and I liked that Andy had moments of lucidity where he was able to keep the demon from harming Verity, despite the demon’s attempts to convince him the kids distracted him from seeing Nicole’s depression and that Verity might’ve had a hand in driving Nicole to suicide by mocking her issues. Andy’s final act—keeping the demon tethered to his soul so it couldn’t possess anyone else, even if killing it meant dying with it—was tragically perfect. I wanted him to survive, but Verity was right: once he started killing people, no one would believe him. It wouldn’t have been much of a life for him to be arrested for murders he didn’t commit, but maybe he could’ve gone on the run with the priests or something. As things turned out, Andy’s sacrifice worked on an emotional level and the final battle with the demon was tense, touching, and scary in all the right ways; Andy’s goodbye to his kids almost made me cry. I liked that the kids got to start a new family with Rose, who Li Jun Li had made into a solid, supportive, and strong presence the entire season. I also liked that Rose was so open to inviting exorcists into the home to examine Andy; usually there’s a lot more skepticism to break through before the people around the possessed open themselves up to that possibility.

The tests of Tomas’ resolve when it came to saving Andy this season worked very well. I had a hard time knowing when he was in reality and when he wasn’t, making for some great twists and putting me in his confused mindset perfectly, particularly when the demon turned the exorcism around on Tomas. The demon dangling a vision of Tomas as a bishop was great, especially when it included Casey Rance (Hannah Kasulka) to try and guilt him for leaving his parishioners in Chicago to become an exorcist. I was a little surprised they didn’t have the demon play up Tomas’ temptation to stray from the strict celibacy commanded by the church, as we saw in Season 1, but I suppose we’ve already seen that and Tomas has grown. His apology on behalf of the church officials who tried to force Verity to be straight was a great moment and a nice recognition that not everyone in the church—even priests—is opposed to homosexuality. It was good getting to know Ben Marcus’ past more this year. Both his tragic family history and his past with Mouse (Zuleikha Robinson) worked well to illuminate him. I was surprised he left Mouse behind after her possession and I liked that his inaction then was juxtaposed with his resolution to stay and kill the demon possessing Andy in the present. Not wanting to repeat that mistake has probably driven much of his dedication to exorcising demons, even after falling from grace within the church. Marcus’ father killing his mother was also a clever tie to the island’s history of parents killing their families. Finding a bit of romance with Peter (Christopher Cousins) rather than continuing to drown in sadness was another nice touch. I wonder if Marcus actually did get a message from God at the end. If so—and if they can do something different than what Supernatural and Constantine have done—bringing in angels and God could be an interesting, fresh spin on The Exorcist mythos. Mouse joining Tomas as his new partner should make for a cool change in the exorcist dynamic, given she’s much quicker to jump to killing whoever needs to be killed as long as the demons are vanquished. That should play off Tomas’ relative pacifistic nature very well, unless he’s been changed by the experience with Andy. Mouse having been possessed herself and Tomas’ mental link with the demon here—opening him up to being possessed as well—should also give them a unique background to bond over. Since Tomas’ true desire was to see the demon die moreso than an eventual shot at the papacy, I wonder if Mouse will propel him along a more violent path or if she’ll recognize her own past eagerness to be an exorcist in him and council him against it. Either way, the two of them are going to have some very interesting discussions about a lot of things, including being mentored by Ben! And if Marcus has a new directive that’s different from anything we’ve seen from exorcists or the church, it should throw the three of them into an even more interesting dynamic. What if he shows up saying that demons possessing people is somehow part of God’s plan and they should stop exorcising demons altogether?

I really enjoyed the evil history of the island and the season’s shift to a self-contained demon after revisiting Captain Howdy (Robert Emmet Lunney) and Reagan MacNeil (Geena Davis) in Season 1 proved the series doesn’t need to rely on direct connections to The Exorcist to create compelling monsters. The demon forcing multiple parents to kill their children was scary, particularly played against a found family like this one, where the foster kids depended on Andy to keep them together. The series once again found a polished yet creepy aesthetic that didn’t avoid gore, but also never reveled in it. That worked very well to set the tone and setting things on a remote island gave the season a totally different feel than Season 1’s Chicago. Making everything more remote worked to establish classic horror tropes, but the season never felt derivative. If the show gets another season, I wonder where they’ll take it to create an entirely different feel this fall.

Like last season, I'm content with where the story ended with the priests and the Kim family, so if they end up not getting a third season, I would accept it. I like that it's mostly contained each year; focusing on a single family in danger makes for smart insurance against cancellation. It would be a shame to lose characters like Tomas, Marcus, and Mouse, though. Even if I’m not a fan of the papal conspiracy, seeing them grow with each new case and the threat of each new demon makes for a strong series arc for them. A message from God does seem like it holds more promise than whatever the demons are planning with the papacy, so it would be a shame to see this always solid show end here.

[multishipperlove]

I finally watched the new episode and it was so amazing, I had nothing but praise for it, I really did... and then they fucking kille Kaya. I mena... really? We all know this spin off mainly happened because a) the fandom freaking loved the idea and has for years and b) Kim and Brianna are amazing people, so a bit part of the spin off was actually the creators listening to the fans, and to what they want. Which can go horribly wrong, sure, but at least it’s most likely going to be something a lot of fans will watch. So how can you make something so amazing and still fuck up so bad? How do you build up a character like Kaya, make her likable person and all that, and then just KILL her off??? In episode one of the fucking spin off? Remember that little ‘oh we’re so self aware’ shit they pulled last episode with “I’m not white no one’s going to look for me”? THEY JUST FUCKING PROOVED IT! I’m so mad. So instead of seeing her grow and heal and maybe get some decent treatment for once she ended up as character development for Claire, as if Claire doesn’t have enough pain to motivate her already. This was so unnecessary, it’s the whole Eileen and Charly and who knows how many other female characters bullshit all over again.  What do we get instead? Some kind of dark side Kaya, great. I’m just... so fucking mad about this. There were so many great scenes in that episode! The sibling relationship between Alex and Claire we always wanted, Alex stating that she’s not a fighter but that it doesn’t matter, because the part she does is just as important. The scene where Donna greets the girls, all the emotional talks between Claire and Jody, Patience calling Jody Alex mom and Alex not bothering to ‘correct’ her. The fact that Claire and Kaya were SO FUCKING GAY for each other (fucking queerbaiting, by the way, if Claire’s crush on Kaya isn’t elaborated on in the show later).  And then they had to kill her off for the equivalent of manpain, god I’m pissed.  And yet, despite all this... I still loved the episode, and I’m definitely going to watch the show because I think it’s still going to be amazing. We’re all used to the writers fucking up, not sure why I exptected anything different here... I love this girls, and if nothing else I’ll watch the show and afterwards just turn to fanfiction to make it all better. Now I just hope that the episode did well concerning viewer numbers and twitter and all that... I have no idea since I once again stayed off my social media until I could watch the episode. If they cancel it now I swear to god... we already went through the trauma, just give us the bonding time and kick ass hunters we were promised, please and thank you.  

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #161 - Star Trek Beyond

(GIF originally posted by @forquicksilver)

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #440

Format: Blu-ray

1) The preproduction for this film was slightly troubled. JJ Abrams was committed to Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens so co-writer of the first two films Robert Orci signed on as director. He ended up leaving production though, taking his cinematographer with him, and it was a little while before Justin Lin (Fast and the Furious 3 - 6) was hired to replace him. Writers Simon Pegg and Doug Jung reportedly wrote the script in a bit of a hurry as they still had a release date to meet. But at the end the film turned out really well, so everything worked out in the end.

2) This film was released during the 50th anniversary of the Star Trek franchise.

Having said that, the work done by writers Pegg and Jung as well as Lin’s direction I think help to make the film feel like a balance between old Trek and new Trek. I’ll get into more details on that as I go along.

3) The opening scene.

The opening has an incredible sense of fun and humor to it (with the aliens Kirk is trying to break peace with seemingly gigantic and ending up being the size of a chihuahua) and honestly feels like it could be the concept of an episode for the original “Star Trek” TV show (says the guy who’s never seen an episode of the original series). It establishes some of the lighter/funner tone this film will feature compared to the titular darkness of Into Darkness as well as Kirk’s initial conflict in the film. It is a wonderful beginning.

4) Kirk’s tiredness.

Kirk is three years into his five year mission in space (which, in a not-so-coincidental-way, is how long the original series got before cancellation) and it is starting to weigh on him.

Kirk [in his captain’s log]: “As for me things have started to feel a little...episodic.”

There’s no direction in space, it is just infinite and that is starting to weigh on Kirk. It has him questioning the point of it all. It has him questioning who he is.

Kirk [after commenting he’s now a year older on his birthday]: “A year older than [my father] got to be. He joined Starfleet because he believed in it. I joined on a dare.”

Bones: “You joined to see if you could live up to him. [Mentions how Kirk has spent all this time trying to be like his dad.] Now you’re wondering what it means to be Jim.”

And it is through the fire of conflict in this film that Kirk will reclaim his identity and who exactly he is.

5) The release of this film was given an unexpected dose of sorrow as actor Anton Yelchin tragically passed away about a month before the film’s release.

There is a scene early in the film where Bones and Kirk drink some Scotch they found in Chekov’s locker. They pour three glasses, the third one being for “absent friends” (as in those we’ve lost who could not be here now). The absent friend I believe was meant to be Kirk’s later father, who the pair are talking about. But in the wake of Anton Yelchin’s passing the scene takes on a much more somber meaning and feels more like a tribute to him. After the film’s release I read on IMDb that the scene was included to pay tribute to Yelchin, but I can no longer find that piece of trivia suggesting it may have been false. Either way, it is impossible to divorce Chekov from that scene or the unintended tribute it pays to the late actor. I’m going to miss seeing you in the movie, Anton.

6) Yorktown.

Yorktown is quite possibly the stand out new element introduced into the film. The space station/outpost/colony/whatever is visually outstanding. Most space stations in film are defined by rigid edges and sharp boundaries but Yorktown is circular. It’s fluid, it’s organic, it moves into and through each other like a planet. Some of the camera tricks and technical aspects used to show off this new location is great. It also has an incredible atmosphere to it which ties directly into the sense of hope this franchise is all about. The air is clean, the sky is bright, multiple alien species are working in unity, and Giacchino’s again excellent score just lifts up the sense of optimism that bleeds through this place. It is a wonderful addition to not only this film but Trek lore as a whole.

7) This film introduces what I believe is Star Trek’s first canon gay character by revealing that John Cho’s Hikaru Sulu is in a partnership with another man.

(GIF originally posted by @maclexa-bane​)

However, this decision had one person surprisingly against it. Original Sulu actor and LGBT activist George Takei himself. Here is an excerpt from an article covering this in the Hollywood Reporter.

"I’m delighted that there’s a gay character," he tells The Hollywood Reporter. "Unfortunately, it’s a twisting of Gene’s creation, to which he put in so much thought. I think it’s really unfortunate."

Takei would take to social media a week later to clarify - but not disavow - his statement.

“I hoped instead that [Star Trek creator] Gene Roddenberry’s original characters and their backgrounds would be respected. How exciting it would be instead if a new hero might be created, whose story could be fleshed out from scratch, rather than reinvented. To me, this would have been even more impactful.”

I personally disagree with Takei. As a film student I can say that there seems to be this strange devotion to the “vision” of something. A decision will or won’t be made based on its support of the “original vision”. The original vision of something is almost totally irrelevant to what something actually is, however. Takei’s statements seem to be largely out of his respect for original creator Gene Rodenberry, which I can understand. But imagine some gay kid today LOVES the Star Trek movies and its characters. That kid is not going to care about Gene Rodenberry’s original vision, he is going to care about what Star Trek is today. I think seeing an already established (and incredibly important character) like Sulu express his sexuality in an open and accepted way is very much in line with what Star Trek is today (and will also have more of an impact on that kid than introducing a new character who they have no emotional investment in, but that's just my personal belief).

The franchise has transcended Rodenberry or any one person involved. It is about unity (a major theme in this film), diversity, tolerance, and hope. And as long as it respects these core beliefs which make Star Trek what it is than I think it does more than respect Rodenberry’s original vision. It respects Star Trek.

8) I am going to talk about Spock and Uhura’s breakup and Spock Prime’s death, I promise. Just later.

9) Even though JJ Abrams did NOT direct this film, Greg Grunberg is still featured in it!

Grunberg is JJ Abrams’ lucky charm, appearing in almost all his films (notably absent from Star Trek into Darkness) in one form or another. And even though Abrams serves only as producer on this flick Grunberg still gets a part. Yay!

10) I like that Commodore Paris (one of the Starfleet higher ups at Yorktown) takes the time to say this to Kirk:

Commodore Paris: “It isn’t uncommon you know, even for a captain. To want to leave.”

It’s a common problem people have in life, the loss of identity. And of course it makes sense that it happens to Starfleet officers. Nothing is defined in space. It’s just space.

11) The skirmish between Kraal’s crew and the Enterprise is great.

As a way of introducing the primary plot into the film, it shows a clear lack of preparedness on the part of the Enterprise crew which is a great place to start the conflict and move forward. A, “started from the bottom,” type way. The film opening with such a heavy thrashing and the destruction of the Enterprise leaves a strong impact on the audience. You know these bad guys are people you do not want to mess with, you don’t even want to be in the same room as them. They just took down one of the best starships ever in a matter of minutes. The scene features great action, nice surprises, and is incredibly well paced. As the first major action set piece for the film, it is truly great.

12)

Kirk: “Abandon ship, Mr. Sulu.”

There is literally NO question from Sulu and only a the hesitation needed to process that request. He doesn’t even say, “Sir?” There’s no doubt in his mind. That is how much he trusts his captain and that is how well he knows his ship to admit when it’s done.

13) Idris Elba as Krall.

I will forever be upset that Suicide Squad won the Oscar for Best Achievement in Makeup and Hairstyling when this film is PACKED with some of the most amazing practical creatures and aliens I have seen in years. You don’t have to look any further than Krall to see that. Idris Elba is not giving an animated performance, he’s not motion capture (not to knock motion capture actors, they’re some of the most under appreciated geniuses in Hollywood). That’s him. He is able to deliver a menacing and powerful performance through strong physicality. Elba does not play Krall as human and he shouldn’t. A huge factor for the character is that he’s lost his humanity. He is a beastly shade of his former self, motivated only by madness. I think Krall may be the best villain of this new trilogy (although it’s hard for me to be objective because Nero is still my favorite). Honestly, Elba freaking kills it as Krall and I don’t think they could have cast anyone to do a better job.

From a writing standpoint, Krall just gets more and more interesting as the film goes on.

Krall [after Uhura claims he has made an act of war against the federation]: “Federation act of war!”

But more on this later.

14) This film benefits from unique groupings for a good part of the film. Bones/Spock are the most prominent, but it’s not often you get to see Kirk and Chekov interact one-on-one or Uhura and Sulu. But for now, let’s talk about Bones & Spock.

I don’t think Bones and Spock get as much one on one time as they do in this film and I am so grateful for that. It provides a unique examination of their usually humorously tense interactions which was touched upon in The Search for Spock. I’ll discuss this more as I go (in one scene in particular), but they are able to be vulnerable around each other. Let their guards down, be totally honest, and make their friendship even stronger.

15) Sofia Boutella as Jaylah.

I fucking love Jaylah. So much. I want more Jaylah.

To start, her design is incredibly unique and memorable. It helps her standout from not only the rest of the Enterprise crew but the rest of the inhabitants on the planet as well. And from the strong visual you are able to build into a living, breathing, unique character. She fits into the crew dynamics (particularly through her relationship with Scotty) wonderfully well and she is a kick ass queen. She is a technical genius with no training or teaching, able to set up a number of booby traps/cloak the Franklin/keep auxiliary power going. She has this deep pain that is in direct relation to Kirk’s. Her father - her entire family - died trying to save her, just as Kirk’s did. She has fears, she has strengths, she loves punk music! Jaylah on paper is amazing and actress Sofia Boutella is incredible in the part. Boutella is able to portray all of Jaylah’s wonderful layers - her badass exterior, her painful past, her growth and dealing with her fears - beautifully. Boutella is a star on the rise in Hollywood (already having starred in Kingsman and appearing as the title character in the new Mummy film coming out soon) and to date this is - I think - her best performance. She is just SO good.

A quick final note: it has been said by the filmmakers that they will not be recasting Chekov after Anton Yelchin’s death. I want Jaylah to take his place on the bridge. Because I fucking love Jaylah.

16) The relationship Jaylah and Scotty forge is so fun and heartfelt. Jaylah is able to constantly surprise Scotty and show that she’s his equal in a lot of ways, but when it comes to the pain of her past Scotty is able to help her deal with that. It’s one of my favorite relationships explored in the film and I hope to see it continue in the future.

17) The relationship with Kirk and Chekov is explored a little more subtly than say Bones and Spock but it is still there. The fact that Kirk is able to signal Chekov to help him trap the traitor amongst their midsts, and then of course this wonderful piece of dialogue.

(GIFs originally posted by @alecc-bane​)

Seeing any two characters have this back and forth suggests they’ve done it before. There’s a comfort there that Chekov is able to talk to Kirk so honestly about his doubts and...I’m sorry, I’m just laughing thinking about this scene. I love the exchange between the pair.

18) So it later turns out that Krall is a captain named Edison from VERY early in the Federation’s life span.

Krall: “Federation has taught you that conflict should not exist.”

Krall [MUCH later]: “We knew pain, we knew terror. Struggle made us strong. Not peace, not unity.”

He is an outdated relic, an ancient ideology in a progressive time who thinks HIS way of life was right. And he’s willing to commit mass genocide because of his outdated and hateful ways. There’s also a lose of identity there, as he tells Kirk in the climax, “I’ve missed being me.” That lose of identity in the face of infinite space is exactly what Kirk is at risk of going through, so there’s a connection there between the two that ties back in to Kirk’s main conflict (something that I love). All in all, Krall’s pain is utterly unique in the Star Trek films I’ve seen and I am impressed with the elegance they were able to write it.

19) Spock and Bones having a heart-to-heart about where Spock is in life is one of the best scenes in the film.

It is in this moment when Spock is at his most vulnerable, and it’s with Bones. He speaks as to how being one of the last Vulcan’s effects him, how it was that and the death of Spock-Prime which upset him so deeply he even broke up with Uhura because he thought he had to. He’s planning on leaving Starfleet. But Bones is an excellent friend in this scenes, listening to Spock and offering some kind non-judgmental words. He even gets Spock to laugh! It’s a great moment between these two characters who have been around for 50 years and I think one of the best character moments in all of Trek.

20) Did I mention I love Jaylah?

Jaylah [about her punk music]: “I like the beats and shouting!”

21) If I haven’t made it clear before, this film has some very well done humor. I think this is largely a result of Simon Pegg’s work on the script, but it wouldn’t have worked if cowriter Doug Jung hadn’t worked with him on it. Some examples...

Scotty: “I have an idea sir, but I’ll need your permission.”

Kirk: “Why would you need my permission?”

Scotty: “Because if I mess it up I don’t want it to be just my fault.”

22) So 2009′s Star Trek was about Kirk and Spock moving past their conflict to form a respect and kinship with each other. Star Trek Into Darkness had them solidifying their friendship. And now we’ve reached this point:

Spock [while severely injured]: “We will do what we’ve always done, Jim: find hope in the impossible.”

23) I think something the filmmakers really use to their advantage is taking problems and solving them in a creative way through the sci-fi genre (where aliens are a norm and we have artificial gravity and such). A brilliant example of this:

(GIFs originally posted by @trek-daily)

Also this is all practical makeup. Did I mention this film lost the makeup and hairstyling award to Suicide Squad? I’m bitter.

24) The funniest freaking part of the entire movie!

25) I know I mentioned this before, but Jaylah’s past trauma with her family is incredibly strong for me.

Jaylah [talking about Krall’s hostage camp; refusing to take Kirk and company to their crew]: “Everyone who goes there he kills!”

And it is just another great example of the relationship Scotty and Jaylah have made.

Kirk [after Jaylah leaves & Scotty moves to go after her]: “Let her go.”

Scotty: “She’s lost people too, Captain.”

The fact that Scotty is able to help Jaylah through her grief in a respectful but pressing way speaks a lot to me. And Kirk overhears this, specifically that Jaylah’s dad sacrificed himself for her. Hmm, why does that sound familiar?

The entire scene is great for me for those key reasons: it develops Jaylah, it strengths her relationship with Scotty, and it ties into Kirk’s conflict in the film.

26) The entire diversion/rescue scene on the motorcycle is awesome and one of the strongest set pieces in the entire film. It is brilliantly and intelligently choreographed, keeping the audience and Krall on their toes through the use of decoy projections. It also features a fight between Jaylah and Mannix which ties directly into her arc as he is the man who killed her father. And Kirk - who said to, “Let her go,” about ten minutes earlier - risks himself to save her. She’s a part of his crew now and I love that.

27) Remember how in the 2009 Star Trek Sulu messed up the take off of the Enterprise the first time? Well, I think the phrase, “started from the bottom now we’re here,” applies perfectly to this moment.

(GIF originally posted by @toakenshire)

30) I just love Jaylah’s face when she sees Krall’s planet drift away in the distance. That place was her hell. Her family was murdered there. She never thought she’d be able to escape. And now...

31) Ladies & gentlemen: the most badass moment in Star Trek’s 50 year history.

Some highlights:

Kirk saying, “That’s a good choice,” tying directly into Young Kirk rocking out to this song in the 2009 film.

Bones: “Is that classical music?”

Chekov toe tapping.

Just how f***ing awesome that moment is. It gets you pumped!

I don’t know who had the initial idea to put this scene in the film, but I love them and I want to give them an award or something. This is glorious.

32) The climactic fist fight between Kirk and Krall is a lot of fun. Similar to Syl’s alien head hiding an important piece of technology, the filmmakers are able to use the concept of artificial gravity in a space station to their advantage by choreographing a unique and fun fight scene.

33) And with this Kirk resolves his conflict of identity in relation to his father.

Kirk: “Better to die saving lives than to live taking them. That’s what I was born into.”

34) I love that Kirk says this but for a weird personal reason. It’s something I learned as a film student and something I wish other directing students (and a lot of professional directors) would learn.

Kirk [after Commodore Paris says he saved the lives of everyone in Yorktown]: “It wasn’t just me. It never is.”

35) Holy shit, I honestly cannot believe I forgot that Spock found this in Spock Prime’s belongings:

Not only is this a wonderful thing to include in the 50th anniversary of Star Trek but also it is something Spock REALLY needed to see. He wanted to live the life Spock Prime did and he thought that meant continuing the work on new Vulcan. But then he sees that Spock Prime was with the Enterprise crew DECADES into a future. He had a family for life. And so does Spock.

36) It’s hard for your eyes not to fall on Anton Yelchin when Kirk makes a toast, “To the Enterprise and to absent friends.”

(GIF originally posted by @soundsofmyuniverse)

37) The fact that the entire main crew of the Enterprise gives the ending monologue for the first time speaks greatly to themes of unity present in the film and Kirk’s giving them credit.

38) And now I’m sad again.

39) “Sledgehammer” by Rihanna.

It’s not often that I talk about an end credits song for a film, but I felt I should make an exception this case. Rihanna is a major Star Trek fan, saying:

"This is something that's been a part of me since my childhood, it's never left me, I love Star Trek. It was automatic. I would do anything in terms of music. It's such a big deal not only as a fan, as a musician... because Star Trek is such a big deal across the globe."

You can feel the love for Trek come across in the song. Not necessarily a radio pop hit, I love this song nonetheless. I find it moving and it’s themes of fighting back after you get knocked down very much tie into the hope and resilience which is Star Trek. I think it is a wonderful composition and a great addition to the Star Trek musical library.

I love Star Trek Beyond. Although the 2009 film introduced me to the franchise, this film has the potential overtime to claim its place as my favorite Trek film. It is an absolutely perfect balance of old and new Trek, featuring standout writing, amazing effects, new ideas, a vibrant visual design, and a standout cast (with special mention to Sofia Boutella as Jaylah). It is a totally wonderful that taps into the hope and sense of adventure that the series has always been about. If you were disappointed with Star Trek Into Darkness or are looking to reclaim some love for the series - or even if you’re watching for the first time - give this film a viewing. You won’t regret it.