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#i really hope this doesn't make people angry
mayapapaya33 · 3 days
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I had sort of hoped Keyleth would have matured and grown past her anger at the Matron over the past 33 years but I suppose it's in character that she hasn't fully dealt with her grief yet. And the Vorb probably isn't helping her issues either. It just sucks because I think a lot of the fandom take Vox Machina's grief fueled blame and fully accept it as fact when the reality is that Vax's situation is almost entirely his own responsibility. The only other person with any remote culpability is Percy. And even Percy is only really to blame for accidentally Killing Vex, not for Vax's choices. But even if you want to hold Percy accountable for Vax's choice in the tomb as well, that still doesn't make him responsible for Vax's death. Vax could have lived a long full life as the Matron's Champion, as shown by the Delightful Purvan Suul and his companion Galdric.
Vax was a borderline suicidal, self-sacrificing character from day one. He always threw himself into danger headfirst regardless of the cost to himself. Between Percy accidentally setting off the trap creating the circumstances for Vax trading himself to the matron during Vex's resurrection, all the way up to Vax CHOSING to come back as a revenant after being disintegrated in order to help defeat Vecna, the choices have always been his. Especially him, fate touched as he is. Ultimately, Vecna killed Vax and Vax killed Vax. I think it's easier to blame the Matron than to be angry with Vax for being who he was.
The Matron maintains the balance of life and death. She accepted Vax's offers both times, do you think she should have refused? The first refusal would have meant Vex's death, and the second refusal would have meant Vax possibly just staying dead after being disintegrated, and not being there to fight against Vecna, which was truly an all hands on deck situation. There was no time to fuck around with a resurrection ritual that might not even work, the whole world was in danger. One life, a life that was already lost, is a small price to pay to save the world. I'm pretty sure Vax would agree with me!
Frankly, Vox Machina were super lucky and privileged to have so many successful resurrections between them. I think they got a little spoilt and entitled about it honestly. Most people have never even met someone who's been resurrected before, they did it like 20 times! Vax was disintegrated, he chose to come back as a revenant to fight Vecna, protect the world, and help his family. An opportunity he was only given due to his allegiance to the Matron. She gave Vox Machina and Vax extra time together and a chance to help save the world.
For those of you shouting "what about true resurrection!?! I hear you, and Matt said it's complicated and didn't elaborate lol. Personally, I think the Matron has quite the special a barrier of entry to true resurrection, if the spell even works at all in Exandria. I think they touched on it briefly in Calamity but I've forgotten. I can only imagine what insane ritual Matt concocted years ago that he's had plenty of time to work on since. Part of the Matron's whole thing is that everyone must eventually go into death, sure they can avoid it for a while, so some resurrection is fine (the DC gets higher every time), but eventually enough is enough and it's time to go. Hence why necromancers and liches are her enemies.
At any rate, I'm really proud of Keyleth for going to therapy and I hope she goes back when all of this moon business is over because she still needs it and that turtle lady in the frog seemed great lol.
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sokkastyles · 1 day
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I just think some of y'all are waaay too comfortable judging Ursa over something she had no control over. Yes, I hate the plot point of Ursa giving up her memories, too, but I hate it because it's unnecessary, and actually stems from the same place of feeling like a woman has to have some justification for making the choice to continue with her life instead of, idk, endlessly suffering. Even if she hadn't had her memories erased, there was absolutely nothing she could have done for her children. She was literally forced out of their lives forever, and the only reason it wasn't forever is because Aang defeated the firelord.
Like, we see in the series that most people stopped believing in an end to the war after the Avatar disappeared 100 years ago. We see what hopeless people become. Ursa had no hope that her suffering would ever end, or the suffering of her children, and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. People aren't angry at her because they think she could have saved Zuko and Azula, because she could not have. What they mostly seem angry about is that she had a happy life instead of one full of endless suffering and fear. As happy as she could be given the circumstances, although we also see in the scenes where she has her memories that she didn't want to forget her children, and regretted that she could not be there for them.
Idk, I just think it's odd that y'all can forgive a redeemed villain but not a mother for being forced into an impossible situation which she already blames herself for.
And Katara...Katara is a character who represents hope. You really think she would look at a woman who has no hope and condemn her for it? You really think Katara would condemn the actions of a woman who was forced to leave her home and family because it was the only escape from a man trying to control her, when her own grandmother did the same?
And again, this is not about her children, because there was nothing she could have done for them after she was banished from the country. What the hatred seems to primarily be about is that she continued to live her life and was her own person. Which is something that people do every day, despite being forced into horrible circumstances. It's something Ursa would have had to do even if she hadn't forgotten her children, and the fandom would have likely hated her even more for it. The misogyny directed at mothers and wives is primarily the reason the amnesia plotline exists, because y'all refuse to understand how trauma works, and Ursa still gets blamed even when writers try to come up with magical reasons to try to explain that trauma.
Ursa also doesn't get to be judged as a human being. Instead, the main criticism I hear is that she's "a bad mother." For something she did at a point in her life where it was no longer even possible for her to be a mother to her children, no matter what choice she made.
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erabu-san · 8 hours
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First of all, I would like to thank you so much for all your support and your kind message !! Thank you so much for being patient with me too !! (you will see, I thanks a lot in this post lol)
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Haha tbh I believe that ignoring and move on is a great way too! Yeees when I read this anon ask, I was wondering if they are living somewhere where pale person are oppressed and they are personally in this case and it affects them so badly that they have so much hate in them or they are just being hateful toward poc w/o any explication ? It was a bit uncomfortable And what is appealing with Genshin Impact (for me) is the fact that they use real culture to create their game ; even in the last survey, they ask if we like Natlan's authenticity (weird they only ask abt environment and music, i think they know they have issue with character design bahaha). I learn a lot about persian, algerian, but also chinese and even about french culture ! It is because people recognize themself that they start talking about it. I know there is a lot of controversial topic in Natlan, but because of this, I learn a lot on Hawai'i 's culture too. So yes, even if it is fiction, representation *is* important. And it is because they take inspiration of their culture that there is people who want a better representation, and in my opinion, this is something to not ignore !
About taking well what anon said, thank you so much ! If i can be honest tho, I didn't take it very well neither, or just I don't know how do I really felt at the moment I am an adult but I still hard time to distinguish what is morally okay or not, what is bad and good ? So if someone doesn't tell me they are explicitly a bad person with bad intention, I won't get it haha (ofc I grew up and now I identify my value and morals, but I still questionning if my morals are objectively great or not- yeaaah i was called weird for that, I am aware) Since forever I always try to understand other so I can communicate properly (at least I try), and that's why I am always interested on how does people think, why do they react in this specific way etc etc. Pro, I am patient and can take even the most violent take "well" (all depends. I am still a human) Con, I give free speech to those who have a "bad" take </3 and I apologize for that aaaa
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KFSDLFSD I wish to express my angryness sometime but I just don't know if it is really adequate What if I interpret their text in wrong way as they initially try to say ? I wasn't feel offended by what they said, I was just uncomfortable because their opinion is something I consider hateful. and what if i was wrong??? But reading you all's opinion just affirm that's they were indeed rude ! I should stop overthink, life would be easier Maybe next time I have a doubt I will ask my friends's opinion before answering ksdkfsf
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Oh my god thank you !!! If i can be honest, I draw Kinich this way because when I draw him w a darker skin for the first time, I thought "Oh !!! he looks so cool !!!!" and seeing a lot of positive comment abt my Kinich just makes me happy so I keep him like this ! And thank you for sharing with me informations !<<333 This is not overstepping at all ! And it is a reciprocate feeling anon ! It might be a bit weird but "angry" is such a complex feeling for me. I feel it but I don't really know how to express it in the most healthy way and it is super frustrating. So... seeing people getting mad at something I also disagree on makes me feel better !! And for this, thank you all !
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I SNORT SO HAAAARD Damn Macron you again..........!! I didn't put all ask here but I read them all !! Thank you for sharing with me your opinion and reaction, it is truly interesting (and way more relaxing that the hater anon kskskss) !! and again, your support is truly meaningful for me. You all have sincere gratitude Hope y'all have a great day !! Stay hydrated too <3
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fae-morrigan · 3 days
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Someone put a post (where they admit they straight up dont know these characters lol, and also spell damian as 'damien' so like. yknow.) in the tags saying that if you're a fan of Jon & Jay, you shouldn't buy super son. Well, as the crowned CEO of Jay & Jon, I'm here to tell you guys that you absolutely should.
Super Son did the amazing thing of hitting several marks that I predicted while still managing to surprise me in how they hit them. Which is high praise for any story: A great narrative should be able to both meet reasonable audience expectations (i.e, staying in character, setup payoff) WHILE STILL throwing in curveballs that tell you something new.
There's a lot I want to analyze and get into, namely how I think the rooftop conversation between Jon & Nia is really brilliantly done in what it says about both characters, but mainly I've been thinking a lot about how great those last few pages were and how I think Sina absolutely nails how Jon & Jay's specific issues interact with each other.
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Jay's always been a blunt person. From their first meeting back in SOKE 2, hes said what he thinks, and rarely does he try and soften himself. More than that, his bluntness is often a shield from vulnerability, which Jay struggles with the whole scene. It makes total sense, after what hes experienced (re-traumatization at the hands of a friend) that he's displaying that trait again.
Jon, however, is immediately vulnerable. This is the most poignant confession of the issue: Not even in the amazing sequence of Nia helping him make a place in the darkness (look, its back, thanks isabel!) do we get this admission of fear.
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And Jay, like always, embraces him. Sidenote, LOVE how they got in the thing Jon does where he's constantly tucking his face in people's shoulders during hugs.
But the moment ends, and we get here. First of all, cold af. I could feel the aura before I turned the page.
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Second of all: Jay is totally valid in feeling this way. And it makes perfect sense that he would.
Sara was his everything. Getting her back was one of his main motivations in SOKE. Because of Nia's actions, she died horribly (do you know what happens to a person when they fall from that sort of height? I do. Its AWFUL.) for an unjust cause. Of course he's glad she can't hurt anyone else!
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And that's when we get to my FAVORITE PART! Oh how I love this bit. Because like. You understand why Jon's angry- Its a harsh thing for Jay to say! Nia was the one who kept him sane while he was trapped in his own mind! But Jay, like always, is RIGHT: Jon DOESN'T get it. How could he?
Jon Kent will NEVER, ever, be put in this position. Out of universe, his parents are Clark Kent and Lois Lane. They'll ALWAYS come back. Hell, the fact they'll always come back is something Ma LITERALLY says to Jon in SOKE. He will never, ever have to know this pain.
In universe, Jon's a white american. Despite being queer, despite being an alien, he'll never know what its like to be this kind of collateral, delegated as pawns in a greater war for 'freedom'. That is what killed Sara at the end of the day: imperialism.
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This next bit hurts my heart. Great job, guys!
For one: Jon claims he's not excusing the mistakes Nia made, but by downplaying it like this... yes he is. But did you catch that part? Right at the start of that bubble?
"I'm going to fight every day to make up for my own part in this."
That's where it clicked for me. Something I had been hoping for since Nicole first called them twin flames.
He's projecting.
Of COURSE he's defending Nia. Of COURSE he wants Jay to forgive her. It isn't just about the fact that she gave him support, it isn't just the dreams, its the fact that... well. If Jay can't forgive her... how could he EVER forgive HIM?
THIS is where the fact that Jon and Nia are so similar as character SINGS. They become mirrors to each other, evaluating their own self worth through the other, at the unintentional expense of the people they've hurt.
Jay's right, though. Again. Its almost like he's the embodiment of the truth or something. He doesn't HAVE to do anything.
When he starts crying though, I immediately was RUINED. This is the first time we have EVER seen him cry before during his entire existence of a character. And its not really even because his mom is dead (though yes, that) and its not even because of the argument. Its because Jay fundamentally wants to be understood, and he's not getting that.
Which is important for the next bit:
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I want to first backtrack a bit to Son of Kal El again, specifically, issue fourteen, right here.
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Hello, two-panel sequence that succinctly describes these two as characters. How convenient you are for me, a guy analyzing a work that isn't written prose.
Jon isn't good at letting go, for better or for worse. The things he cares about stay with him, and when something or someone tries to exit his life, he clings to them with all his might.
Jay however, both selflessly and selfishly, is willing to let go first if he thinks its better for the other person. To me this line so effortlessly summarizes who Jay is- he's a person who's accustomed to not having things, and will leave before it hurts and he gets too attached.
And that thought is ALL over this scene. Jay, who begins to let go, Jon, who both literally and physically CLINGS to jay, practically begging him to stay.
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(Sidenote. This is like, the third time Jay mentions breaking up when Jon starts acting up. Good for you king, keep that white boy on his toes, let him know he ain't all that.)
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Every little detail of this four panel sequence is killing me. "My worst nightmare is not having a home with you in it." His greatest desire. The thing that kept tipping him off in every fake reality Nia constructed for him- Jay's absence. Him wiping the tear of Jay's cheek. Jay walking away from him.
But what really gets me is how on this page, Jon talks about them as 'we', while Jay is firmly stuck in 'I.'
This is what made me LOSE MY MARBLES at three in the morning. Just utterly fucking off my rocker in a straightjacket talking to myself.
Because this is what JON wants. But is it what JAY wants?
Jon never asks.
What about what Jay fears? What about the life that HE wants? What if he doesn't want San Francisco? What if the life he wants is the life he HAD before everything went wrong? Jon outright says he wants a fresh start. But Jay, Jay's someone with such deep connections to what he just lost, what he likely WANTS to get back. His country. His mother. His sense of self. But. He says yes.
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(Sidenote. FIRST I LOVE YOU WOOOOOOOOOO) To quote my buddy Dami: Oh, the drama of needing a future with someone who can't get over the past.
It is left unclear, by the end, whether or not Jay is saying yes to this because he genuinely wants to, or if he's only saying yes because he doesn't want to lose Jon, too. Jon doesn't stop to question whether or not Jay's only reaching after him because Jon's walking away. We, the audience, are left to ponder that for ourselves.
How much of Jay saying yes is him just accepting that this is the best he's going to get? That he's never going to be understood because nobody wants to understand?
He's an afterthought to Nia, an obstacle at best, and to Jon he's a particularly handsome prop in this little fantasy he has of running away and starting new. He's either not thought of at all, or when he is thought about, it's in the context of how he can emotionally fulfill the other person And you get why Jon did this. He's desperate, he's hurting, he just got tangible evidence that the time he has with the people he loves isn't ever guaranteed. He's been needing space from Clark and Lois for MONTHS because god knows they haven't been fulfilling his emotional needs. In a very real sense, Jay is who he has.
But wanting someone to stay with you so much that you'll... Not even ignore, but just not ever consider what they may want. The intentional isolation, moving halfway across the country away from all support systems. The need to cling to someone.
It reminds me of... something. Someone.
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Don't tell Jon I made this comparison. He'll kill himself. Jon and Ultraman ARE similar. They're both such deeply lonely people who cling very tightly and even though it manifests in different ways and even though they have different core thoughts about it. The effect at the end of the day is the same, isn't it?
Is loving Jay not a brutal act of destruction?
There's so many more details about this story I love. Jon & Nia's conversation being vague enough that you have no idea how Jon meant what he told her but you KNOW how NIA took it (girl you can do better hes literally ugly!). Jon breaking a pillar by bonking his head against it (LMFAO). The pretty lies vs ugly truth dichotomy of Jay vs Nia here.
But this one scene, man. This one fucking scene takes the cake. STELLAR work all around. Every panel counts.
This better lead into a full Superman & Gossamer run or SOMETHING or I'm going to have WORDS with DC's editorial staff.
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shift-shaping · 11 hours
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i know this is an unpopular opinion in my specific circle on tumblr, albeit not unpopular widely, but i really really do hope they keep solas race locked. it's. really not a small part of his character even if it makes him more ~problematic~
he literally doesn't see non-elves as even close to being people in inquisition by the time of the balcony scene, and while i think he changes that view by trespasser to some extent, that change does not come in time for a romance to actually spark between him and anyone who isn't an elf.
him having these shithead ideas is part of what makes his character who he is, and seeing him change those opinions is going to be extremely gratifying. this is part of why i want to be able to romance him (or at least flirt with him) as a rook of any race --show me that he's changed, that he's capable of seeing non-elves as worthy of that attention, don't just leave it in a dumbfuck retcon that serves only to weaken him as a character.
the idea that bioware would make him magically not prejudiced to appeal to angry people on twitter is cowardly, and i would consider it a major failure on the part of the writing staff.
i don't care if you're upset about this, block me, but the bottom line is that sanding down a character's rough edges to make him more appealing to twitter is an absurd and entitled ask that fails to understand basic character writing and development.
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Dors Finn mask around James?
He does sometimes, but he masks less with James than he does around basically anyone else, with the exception of maybe Logan (and only after Logan had been living with him awhile and Finn stopped treating him like a quasi guest).
Also sometimes when he is behaving inauthentic ways around James, it's sort of...'oh James needs 'calm Finn/levelheaded Finn/lighthearted Finn right now', even if he doesn't actually feel that way at the moment, which is less him masking and more like him, well, mom friending.
The fact he masks much less around James is one of the reasons things are easier for Finn when James is around, though Finn doesn't know it (if you described masking to him, he would find it interesting, and would probably be able to apply the concept to Georgie or James, but not himself).
Finn sitting alone in a public place would honestly mask more than he would if James was sitting beside him. (Is my facial expression friendly enough? Oh shit, my arms are crossed, I don't want anyone to think I'm angry. Did that guy just glance at me? Did he recognise me or was it the crossed arms thing? I hope he doesn't think I'm a unapproachable jerk.)
Another reason things are easier when James is around is that James just...does not make fun of him. Ever. Not even in the playful friendly way that's practically a hockey bro love language. And if someone else does, James won't laugh, and they probably won't do it again. He isn't really conscious of that one either, but if you pointed it out he'd probably agree.
If you asked him why things were easier when he was with James, he'd say he doesn't know, and then, if pressed, he'd say it's probably because it's easier for him to do things for other people than for himself. And he wouldn't be wrong, but it's mostly that when it's just him and James (and sometimes Cheezit), it's the closest thing to rest that Finn can get without a closed door between him and the rest of the world. And it's nice.
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Unwanted - Part 4
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Summary: Your life is no longer yours. You've been forced into becoming a different species of human. Bought and paid for, what can you do but follow orders and obey your Alpha?
Warnings: Allusions to surgery, human trafficking, kidnapping; Angst; Depression; Suicidal thoughts. Let me know if I missed any!
A/N: Reader is described as big & tall, is female. No other descriptors used.
A/N2: This chapter is a bit longer because it's got a fair amount of exposition. Hope it isn't too boring!
Part 3
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True to her word, Nat let you stay held as long as you needed. You hadn't realized how touch starved you'd been. You were never much for physical contact before but Dr. Kemp had said that, part of being an Omega was an increased need for it. The yelling between Ari and Steve had either died down or moved elsewhere and you were feeling the need to get up and walk around.
Nat kept hold of your hand as she walked you out of the debriefing area. For someone so much smaller than you, she really had an air of strength that made you feel you could lean on her if you really needed to. Her status as being in charge of the Omegas really made sense.
"We're going to go for a gradual introduction into our community," she tells you when you enter a kitchen area. "You're an unmarked Omega who's hurting and our people are going to be compelled to help you, take care of you. It's a consequence of being a communal species; if you had a personal pack, there'd be less push because you have a trusted circle to take care of you. But since you're unmarked, if you're in trouble, everyone is going to want to help, much like when a child is crying or scared. A gradual introduction will be good so that you don't get overwhelmed and they can remember to restrain themselves. That said, you might still get a lot of unwanted attention. If you tell them 'no' and they still bother you, let me know. You could probably take care of yourself, but your scent indicates you're more the gentle, non-confrontational type."
"That could be the training they put me through," you counter.
She smiles, "your scent is a reflection of yourself, your core personality. It's currently mixed with others that indicate trauma, pain. But the underlying scent stays true."
"What is my scent? No one's ever told me."
"The underlying scent from you is a warm cinnamon, vanilla and brown sugar mixture," she smiles. "You're a real cinnamon roll."
"Huh, no wonder he didn't like it." Nat gives you a confused look. "Ari, when...when he bought me. He said he didn't want me because he didn't like my scent. He really seems the type to prefer spicy over sweet." You say that last part with a half smile, hoping she'll find it funny instead of sad.
She looks angry. "Give me a moment to add this to the list of Ari's bullshit." You nod and she pulls out her phone, typing up a message before putting it away. "He can be such an ass. But, good news, he's not your problem. If you never want to see him again, you won't. I'll make sure of it."
"That's...thank you," is all you can say as you lower your head.
"In the meantime, we've got a small apartment ready for you," she leads you onward. "It's not the nicest, but it's good for transitioning until we can find you a spot in our community. And no," she looks at you pointedly, "that doesn't mean get you a mate. If you find one, that's great. If you don't want one, that's great, too. I genuinely mean a role, a job, or something like that."
You breathe a sigh of relief and nod your understanding. Several hours ago you were resigned to a life as a sex slave, maybe even forced pregnancy. But the more time you spend with Natasha, the more you let yourself be hopeful for something better. No wonder her scent is like a river, providing life giving water while refusing to be stopped.
Stepping outside you look up and freeze. The stars, what few you can see past the lights of the building, are gorgeous. More importantly, they're another reminder of your freedom. And a reminder of all that you lost. You want to break down and cry again, but then Nat gets your attention.
"Hey, hey, look at me," she coos. "There's no way you'll get over this quickly. No one would ever expect you to. But I need you to keep walking with me to your apartment, okay? I don't want you out here too long and getting sick or attracting unwanted attention." You nod and continue walking. "Good news, I made sure your apartment has a skylight so you can keep looking at the stars, the moon, the clouds, even if you don't have the energy to go outside."
"Thank you," you whisper. Right now you can't imagine not wanting to be outside but you find yourself trusting her. Especially her kindness.
She takes you to what looks like a well kept motel. These must be the apartments. Sure enough, some of them have skylights while others don't.
Natasha walks up to one of the doors and hands you a key. "This apartment is meant to be a safe space for you so there's only one key and it will always belong to you."
"What about in case of emergency?"
"We break down the door or crash through a window."
"Fair." You grip the key tightly before turning to the door. You haven't had a space for yourself in so long but you're also worried this is going to be another cell. A much nicer cell, but a cell nonetheless. Taking a deep breath to steady your nerves, you unlock the door and take a few steps inside. It's plain, but not unwelcoming. There's even a small vase with flowers on the table in the living/dining area. It's a decent size for a temporary apartment. It certainly looks nicer than your last one. The one you'll never see again.
As you're turning and looking at things you realize Nat has stayed at the door. "What are you doing?" you ask her.
"You haven't given me permission to enter your space," she says, matter-of-factly.
The hope you've been struggling with grows a little stronger with that.
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Part 3
Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @lokislady82; @peyton-warren;
@ronearoundblindly; @startcarvingdarling
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padme4000 · 3 days
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Respect BG3 Modders
I am so sad and angry at the people disrespecting modders since Patch 7's release. Mostly seen on discord servers and nexus.
Both the disrespect to the modders porting to toolkit but also the blatant disrespect towards modders who haven't ported yet to mod.io or have chosen not to port to it.
Modder is not porting to mod.io
Modders have every right to say no to porting to mod.io/IGMM whether it is a big mod or small mod. It is their right.
They are not obligated to give you a reason why. Their reason is their own and should be respected.
Do not turn around and then disrespect these modders by threatening to port their content yourself.
And especially don't turn around start bullying/threatening the modder in hopes to pressure them to port it.
Larian does not condone porting other people's content without consent just like nexusmods doesn't. So content found to be porting without consent will be removed from mod.io just like it would on nexusmods.
Which brings me to the below which does touch point on why it is just not feasible right now for some mods to be ported to mod.io even if the modders of those mods would want to:
Porting to the Toolkit
Porting our mods to mod.io/toolkit isn't a straight forward thing. I even had to make a guide to help part of the process. But we also have to create a lot of our files from scratch which is a ton of work.
Whether a small or big mod.
I had to copy/paste data into 400+ lines to port the mods I have already. And that is not counting the different columns either. I really hurt my hands doing so. Even though I paced myself.
Even my small mods took a lot of work. It is not feasible currently for some mods to be ported to the toolkit. Some mods would need 1000 or more lines redoing from scratch. For a hobby and the health of our hands that is not currently feasible.
Also it takes a ton of spoons to learn new things. The toolkit is a new thing. Especially when you're used to another method.
Be patient.
And again if a modder does not want to port their mods to mod.io for whatever reason, just respect that.
Hell you're free to learn modding yourself and make your own assets. Just don't use others assets without permission.
As a side note thank you to everyone respecting each other and modders decisions.
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astralhope · 2 months
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Yuma's unshakable trust in Astral makes me cry every time
#Yuma doesn't even think twice about jumping in and defending Astral every time#He just trusts Astral so much#When Mr. Heartland said that Astral was a bad guy Yuma immediately got angry and started defending Astral#and also with Luna he talked in defense of Astral#and even when Astral started to have doubts about himself Yuma was quick to reassure him#because he knows that Astral is a good person#and no one will change his mind#Yuma is like “Yes I know that Astral is weird and arrogant and sometimes makes no sense but he's a good person and I'm sure of it”#He has no idea about what the Numbers are but he knows Astral and that is enough for him to know that they can't be completely bad#and he is sure that Astral will never misuses them because he knows Astral better than anyone and he trusts him!#he trusts him even when Astral doesn't trust himself#and Yuma's trust is so important to Astral#he remembers so little about himself and doesn't know what he really is but Yuma cares so much about him#to the point that even his “baseless confidence” is enough to reassure Astral#because Yuma's power of believing in people is one of the things that Astral admires and loves the most about Yuma#and Yuma believing in him gives Astral hope that he will be alright#Astral even said that Yuma believing in him without hesitation made him happy#These two make me feel too many emotions#they are everything to me#I will probably talk about these scenes in future posts because I love them#but for now I wanted to have all of them in the same spot#I love this manga so much I want to talk about every scenes of it#(and seeing how much manga posts I have in my drafts that is likely to happen)#astral zexal#astral yugioh#yuma tsukumo#yugioh zexal#yu gi oh zexal#ygo zexal#zexal
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dont-offend-the-bees · 4 months
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Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.
#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town#but like. We have Differences Of Opinion#and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off#but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks?#like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit'#the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true)#and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic'#and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on#but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't?#you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong?#and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him#but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him#and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit#like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men#but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way'#in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way.#and it made me SO SAD#like bro#I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle#and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope#but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own#like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little#like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang#but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me#like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally.#I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit#But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do.#.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!!#now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy#I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me
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devondespresso · 1 year
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writing my silly little fic and again im struck with how much opportunities they missed by pretending the s2 stancy breakup wasn't messy, specifically for Nancy's guilt about barb and forcing herself to grow up too fast
like s1 Nancy spends one night being a stupid teenager goofing off at her boyfriend's party and staying over to get spicy while Barb goes home. then she later realizes Barb disappeared and died that one night she was letting go and having fun. this is widely recognized trauma for her and informs a lot if not most of her actions through the rest of the show
in season 2 she's feeling the weight of it more around the first year anniversary. steve trys to help by taking her to a party to forget for a little while and 'be stupid teenagers' for a night. a perfectly set up parallel already
the way the show wants it to go, we get the bullshit argument, they fight, allegedly break up at some point, and nancy sleeps with Jonathan. later steve tells her to go with him and we're supposed to read it as Steve stepping back so jancy can happen. we're supposed to be seeing this as a happy ending.
but with the material we're given this would have been the perfect place for an emotional repeat of season 1 for nancy. she and steve go to the party and pretend to be stupid teenagers for the night. but oh no! nancy lets lose too much, lets herself relax and drink and dance, and the next day her boyfriend's pissed. hes saying she said things she never remembered saying and its hurt him and she doesn't know what to do. and kids around school are talking about them breaking up at the party, and that fits with Steve's anger she saw, so they must've broken up right? it sucks, even if she wasn't in love with him, that'd be the worst way to break up with someone (especially if she's confusing platonic and romantic feelings or convincing herself it has to be romantic when she really just values him as a friend)
and then she doesn't have time to work it out, she needs to go with Jonathan to avenge barbs 'disappearance' to give her family closure. She's got a lot of conspiracy shit to do and its stressful. so when murray starts going off about how she's not really in love with steve, how she actually likes Jonathan and he seems to like her back. they finished a lot of the hard work with the conspiracy stuff, she can let her guard down and have a quick good night.
then the next day is chaos. demodogs and labs and will being possessed. It a rough fucking day. Steve tells her to go with Jonathan while they get the mindflayer out of Will, civil like they're on good terms so she does (and thank god she did because that was rough and they needed all the help they could get)
and then everything's fine again, with the upside down. and it looks like she handled things better this time, was about to relax occasionally and still made it through.
except apparently she and steve didn't break up. he thought it was just a few fights, that they put their shit aside for the apocalypse and now they can work things out.
and it could ruin nancy. a year later and she's still hasn't learned her lesson, that letting her guard down hurts the people she cares about, that relaxing and having fun makes her lose people. its her fault for the messy breakup with Steve and its her fault that barb is gone. she's the reason she's lost friends close to her, 2 for 2, and now she only has Jonathan left (and what do you know, season 3 has her conflict with Jonathan and in season 4 she's not let anyone else get truly close to her and fred still dies)
you see what i mean?? by having conflict magical resolve itself in the background we loose so much powerful, painful character drama for her. our girl who thinks she has to keep the world around her up solely on her shoulders because she can't handle the loss of her best friend in season 1. Nancy who desperately wants to be normal and have people she loves but keeps losing them, through factors both in and out of her control, but feels like everything has to be her fault just because some things were.
and to be fair, that story is still present in the show. its there and definitely compelling, but it could've been even more so. i feel like if maybe there was less 'nancy has to be a strong independent girlboss' in there (abd it's definitely there, they want to make a point of making her a Strong Woman Character so bad) and she was allowed to have mistakes acknowledged by the narrative, this is the direction it would've gone. She could've been an excellent example of well written women who are strong and awesome through their own right instead of the narrative trying to make us like her
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greensaplinggrace · 1 year
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🔥 about Baghra and darkling's relationship
alright! this one's going to be kind of heavy though. I know I've talked about my feelings on the darkling and baghra's relationship being canonically emotionally abusive and most likely also physically abusive, but I've never really talked about my feelings on the fact that their relationship is a textbook version of emotional incest, and that baghra abused him in this way too.
now: "emotional incest often takes place when a parent lacks or has lost their own emotional support system, including their partner or spouse. they might feel isolated or not know how to find constructive outlets for difficult emotions in these cases." (x)
the relationship on it's own displays signs of this: in baghra's jealousy and possessiveness when it comes to aleksander's connections with others (often romantic), the ways she teaches him to survive often overlapping with a desire to isolate him from others so she is his only support system, her expectation of his responsibility as an adult in an adult relationship even when he's a child (and then later the expectation of his acting in a relationship with her when they're both adults), and her active blurring of his boundaries, as well as numerous other things.
when you know baghra's history, it becomes even more obvious, however. because the reason she had him in the first place was to fill the void of a life partner and a spouse - this is extremely evident in her abandoning of all previous children until she not only had one that could live as long as her, but also one that could understand her emotions and needs as a shadow summoner, and one that she would have an easier time of grooming into her likeness and her partner.
it also becomes obvious from a character standpoint when you consider that her efforts to have this child who could serve as her partner were driven by many of the classic emotions that lead to emotional incest, such as her loneliness, her grief and loss (or desire not to grieve and always lose others), the lack of intimacy and emotional availability in her life, as well as attachment trauma and a fear of abandonment, and the fact that she's self obsessed.
so anyways, that's my unpopular opinion on baghra. I think it's kind of commonly accepted in fandom that she 'wasn't the greatest mom', but that kind of sidesteps the fact that she was not only actively abusive, but acted incestuously towards her son.
send me a 🔥 for an unpopular opinion (x)
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dogearedheart · 12 days
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god, sometimes I'm so fucking angry at myself
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katyspersonal · 1 year
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Cool.. Our rent price got raised. :') I did not know it was even possible to get even MORE poor than me and mom already were, but here we are. Guess I'll start surviving on literal bread and water at this rate.
#/vent#personal#no but when will things stop getting worse?#in moments like this I feel especially bitter thinking about that asshole that went to me like:#'wahh wahh katy i won enough money in the court to buy everything I want but it doesn't matter because I can't buy YOU uwu'#*ten days later* 'actually I don't want a friend/sister anymore can you please stay in your bum spot and simply be my-#-online friend and listen to me ramble about my interests without any regards to yours and show off how cool my life is to you like always?#like no I am not materialistic but when people make dramatic promises of this kind they better stick to them#'nooo but you MUST get out of russia!!!' bitch how? I can hardly afford enough food let alone travelling and living abroad#anyways yeah I am done using the guy that pretended to want a better life for us both and then turned tail as a core for venting#sorry it just makes me angry#not so much living in powerty and not being able to crawl out of debt and my life state no matter what#but more about a very consistent trend of having friends that one day get RICH and dump me as 'lower class' right after that happens#he is not the only one like that in my life he is just the most recent one#really speaks about how unlikeable I am if people lose interest in me as soon as they can buy happy things instead#shows that my worth as a human being is super low and I only work as entertainment when people can't buy something to do that instead#like videogames food travels objects books etc etc...#I am just below those things and less interesting than those things and I'll die early hahaha lol#hopes are that supernatural luck power that doesn't want me to escape easily will send me something to help. because yeah my situation-#-is B A D.
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doom-dreaming · 6 months
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how do i tell my mother that coming into my room calling me "lazybones" if i'm still in bed at any time past 7 a.m. for YEARS has done near-irreparable damage to my self-esteem and created shame about being able to just fucking relax?
#but she can rot on the couch playing mahjong on her ipad all day it's fine#i don't feel at all angry when i come home dirty and tired from work#and she tells me i'm making dinner#while she sits curled up on the couch with a cup of tea and a book#sure mom. let me just take a shower and i'll get right on that#but please do let me know how hungry you are five times while i'm trying to scrape together some energy#i need to get out of this house#some small part of me kinda hopes she just doesn't come back from vacation#and. and .#as i'm giving her a VERY NICE vacation pedicure last night#she goes 'hey could i maybe use your hardcase on this trip? it'd just be easier in a customs search'#oh the brand new really nice hardcase suitcase that you got me for my birthday? that one?#not one of the four other suitcases you own?#sure. go ahead and take it#anythign else i can get you queen?#my belongings are not my own#my life is not my own#my time is not my own#yes i know i have control issues but i think i've earned them a little bit#i never learned to set boundaries and could never say no to my mom without being reprimanded#and i feel like a shell of a person because she's belittled my individuality if it doesn't conform to her worldview#and i feel like i'm dangling this husk in front of people and saying 'yep this is me. my whole essence'#all because i can't say no to her taking my fucking suitcase like it was never really mine to begin with#like she's just entitled to all my shit#i'm fine. i have a meeting with my therapist next week. i'm fine.
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enbypool · 7 months
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and maybe its not fair to yori or kohaku for the emotion to be love.. like idk. kohaku's view of her actions VS what those actions truly are are completely opposite
#Also i really hope im being nonstereotypical when it comes to BPD. Kohaku's is just a very extreme case+combined with other mental disorders#It might make more sense for Kohaku to have come from a home where love is distorted that way but I like her backstory?#I mean being in the spotlight and watched all the time since theyre like nobles#Being held to an extremely high standard since childhood#and nothing below those standards being accepted in any form#would have a negative mental effect on someone with BPD already right?#Hmm#im trying to think of the core reason kohakus view of love is so deluded#Like Kohaku was held up to those standards had a very uptight household no mistakes aloud#her obvious disorder was completely ignored; her mother refusing to believe her daughter was “crazy”#and this would destroy their social standing in her mind#and the whole no daughter of mine is some “psycho” type mindset#Kohaku was told to push it all down . pretend she's fine . mantain her perfect grades etc#So yknow there was obvious neglect there. rich parents. I wouldnt say kohaku was spoiled but shed always get what she wanted#So maybe that could be part of her obsession with yori? i guess? and how#a person of such lower social standing would be utterly unacceptable for kohaku to be associated with#and Yori is so unique in Kohaku's eyes- she's an angry righteous person that takes risks and doesn't care#what people think of her when public image was#taught to kohaku to be everything to their family.#so like being with someone like yori could be a sort of freedom from this life Kohaku's forced to live#like Kohaku has always been able to be herself around Yori#even when she started to get really clingy all the time yori didn't mind#and shed try to help her with her manic episodes and everything- her anxiety/paranoia etc#and when Kohaku felt like shed lose Yori (when she met Tatsuko)#she did everything she could Not to lose her. (lying&sabotaging Yori's relationship with Tatsuko)#cus she didnt want to lose the only tether she had outside of her nobility. or whatever.#... What was i talking about originally
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