#i really shouldnt. keep delaying.

[dyketubbo]

tbh for me the thing about cbeeduo is that its so like. how am i supposed to look at this dynamic and not feel insane for the rest of my life. like going along w the crushing during nlm hc ranboo fell in love w tubbo at his WORST. they saw some child president who was probably on illegal substances like half of the time with a tired face and forced grin as he got through politics he didnt understand and got insults hurled at him, comparing him to an abusive dictator as he tried to solve a trolley problem (his best friend was on one line and his country was on the other and of course he chooses majority rule but the trolley loops back around anyways and all he did was delay the inevitable) and ranboo saw some 16yr old on his last leg going on about how he felt like he was going to die soon (and hes too too close to the cliffs edge but hes grinning and its like hes really hoping death is a happy ending) and everyone was leaving him and he didnt want all this and ranboo goes follow my voice i wont leave im sorry and they fall in love with whatever virtues there are left in tubbo and decide that they would keep trying to do right by him

and then, inevitably, ranboo messes up and betrays tubbo and tubbos voice shudders and ranboo never wants to see that broken expression of disbelief again so he fights for a country even though hes been disenchanted with it for a while and hes never liked picking sides anyways (but this is tubbo, and if hes choosing tubbo its okay because he cant hurt tubbo again) and of course it falls anyways and tubbo makes a new home and tubbo makes nukes and tubbo makes a plan and then tubbo is on his knees and an axe is held to his neck and ranboo barely gets a glimpse before things are moving forward and tubbo is pressed to her side calling them minutes man again

the marriage starts out as a joke, tubbos never been rich and ranboo only gets richer and tubbo pretends its for tax benefits, hes just a golddigger, because right now its a joke and thats all hes letting it be. but then hes laughing like normal but it feels different and hes looking at the family portrait of the two and michael and hes thinking about bunk beds and he gets a mansion because hes in love at this point because ranboo was there during his worst moments and even as tubbos getting (relatively) better ranboos still there and of course tubbo forgives him because when he met ranboo they reminded him painfully of himself and tubbo cant let ranboo be like him so he falls in love with them instead and if ranboos going to stick by him tubbos going to try and be someone good to stick by

but of course ranboo finds bad influences anyways and tommy is back but different and everythings different and ranboo wont move in so every few days its just him and michael (and god, he shouldnt be a parent at 17, what is he doing with his life? he should have been dead by now) and he tries so so hard to be good for michael and good for ranboo and better for tommy and he isnt really good to himself but thats fine and ranboo is so much better than he'll ever be and michael adores him and tubbo adores him and its fine that the mansion is collecting dust and its fine that ranboo lives by tubbos executioner and the people who helped destroy his country and its fine that he doesnt really know who ranboo is at all outside of his kind husband that was there for him at his worse and its fine that ranboo doesnt really know who tubbo is outside of someone who has been through a lot and needs a good break and its fine that theyre keeping secrets its fine that they never really talk about their problems (its fine that its been months and ranboo still hasnt moved in)

and then they have their first disagreement and tubbo tries to make up for it and it works until they have their first argument and ranboo tries to make up for it but he has to make a point too and they hardly get to talk about it before suddenly time has passed and

and ranboos dead and tubbos a widow and single father at 18 and his (their) son got kidnapped and hes making friends with murderers and hes not sure how to feel about his husbands ghost (and ranboo is so so happy to be dead and ranboo is in limbo alone and tubbo doesnt know how any of this works) so he moves on and his anger gets the best of him and he pushes someone off a bridge and he moves on and he isnt getting better and he moves on and nothings getting better and he moves on and because the dream smp is at its core not that great pretty often theres no closure to any of this ever tubbo dies and loses all his memories ranboos forever a ghost and takes his son elsewhere and thats it the end youre just meant to be normal about all this now. they never learned how to truly trust each other and they were so so in love and wanted to be good for each other but never talked about their problems and now they just Dont Get To. The End !

[thirdmagic]

the thing is that like. queer rights shouldnt even be the hot topic that they are in any of these discussions, because they are rarely ever relevant in the context they are brought up in. as far as social issues go we all live in glass houses no matter which culture we're from. not a single one of our societies, that any of us live in, has solved the issue of homophobia, or sexism, or any discrimination. none. none of us get to tell the other 'your society is worse than mine' and have that be anything but condescending posturing. absolutely none.

and no, there is not a single person who deserves death or is culpable for the crimes of their society just by virtue of being born in it. i should hope that goes without saying but the past month and a half have proven otherwise. every single innocent person deserves to be free of the horrible cycle of violence we're caught in. no state crimes, no amount of human rights violations, make the death of unrelated innocents justifiable, in any context, and i mean in any context.

but do you know why this gets brought up. because of you fucking westerners who keep projecting this idea that israel embodies every single colonialist evil you can think of, but it's the colonialist evils of your countries and your societies that you have guilt about, that you are familiar with personally. and you project every single social cause that you personally are invested in onto the palestinian cause instead of listening to them, instead of actually trying to understand what work is required to actually help them and what they actually need, because you project this idea of the socialist queer liberators that you want to be onto every single movement that is remotely anti-western or anti-american. and it's honestly really embarrassing but also shows your ignorance about those societies.

and i frankly think that bringing up homophobia in either gaza or the west bank (for purposes that aren't raising awareness, which, it usually isn't) as a gotcha is both extremely tasteless and totally irrelevant most of the time and just serves to delay the conversation and also, again, is not a judgement any of us from the outside get to make, and doesn't make their deaths any less tragic or any more deserved. and i would say the same about the homophobia in israeli society that i am well familiar with, as a queer person who lives here and is stuck in the more conservative parts of the country. but it gets brought up as a counter to the false narrative coming from westerners and constantly spread around- this narrative that this is a fight between one society that's a perfect haven of queer liberation and one society that is nothing but homophobic evils, and that the society that's full of homophobic evils has no innocents in it. because it is not true. not for any of us.

we are not a cartoon bad kingdom and a cartoon good kingdom. we are two equally complex, versatile societies with their own complex histories and things to work through, and your dichotomic thinking simply cannot seem to process this idea. that's why the arguments on queer rights in either of these countries get drawn in. to point out what what you are presenting simply is not factually true and is a simplification of a much more complex reality, which is kind of the pattern in this discourse in general.

i just don't think it's an argument worth having because it's besides the point in the first place, and the point is that none of us deserve violence, none of us deserve to die, and none of us are culpable for the governments playing power games between each other at our expense.

[uh-oh-its-bird]

I'm seeing all sorts of articles about how "some flight attendants confess to having to sleep in cars because they can't afford a home" and "flight attendants find out they qualify for food stamps" etc. Etc. And I keep going yeah lmao duh before I remember that like. Oh. Right. That's a bad thing.

The thing ab being a flight attendant is they say that they pay you 27-30ish an hour (american airlines numbers there) but they only actually pay you that specifically for flight time (aka once the plane door is closed and locked)

(Yes that means boarding time does not count, nor does it count the hour you're supposed to be at the airport before that, or the hours between your flights when you're still stuck in the airport waiting for your next job— whether it's bc that delay between work was scheduled or because had weather has you trapped somewhere for hours)

Otherwise you are literally making upwards of $1.50 an hour. That is an actual number. I, as a flight attendant, am payed $1.50 an hour for my time away from base.

They're actually very squirley about saying what you get paid for what— they like to brag about that 27-30 number but when you realize its for flight hours only and start asking stuff like, "Ok well then how much do I get paid for standby (staying at the airport as a potential substitute for flights if smthn goes wrong, usually either in 6 to 8 hour shifts depending on your company (mine does 8 hours rip)) or while boarding the plane" they just straight up don't fucking answer you. I had multiple trainers dodging this question and none of the flight attendants I've thought to ask know either.

On top of that they can legally make you work for 14 hours a day!!!! 14 !!! Hours !!!! Nonstop!!!!! And you might only get paid for 3 fucking hours of it depending on how that day goes!

Oh right! Also there are no lunch breaks. Nor are there mandatory periods of time where they have to give you some room to breathe within flights. Hahaha yeah. They can schedule you for back to back to back flights with literally not a single minute between boarding and you just kind of have to deal with it.

You can call in to request a lunch break to try to find food at the airport— but only for the big boy bases, like Dallas or Miami. That's bc they'll send people to board your flight for you, so you have the time to get your food. But oh, right, they will often keep you on hold for upwards of 20 minutes at a time, and again, only possible at the big bases, so even if you can do it it's often too fucking late bc now everyone's on the plane and if you leave it'll stall the whole flight from leaving and then your ass will risk getting fired

(Also there's this odd guilt of doing it?? Like you really have to go out of your way to beg them on the phone to send a pre boarder. It makes me feel bad and guilty even tho it SHOULDNT)

(ALSO also, that's considering the airport youre in even HAS food that's a) close enough to get quickly, b) affordable to your budget, or c) something you can eat if you have diet restriction)

That's not even STARTING on the hell that is trying to pack a lunch that can last you potentially an entire week (all while being safe to eat after days of being in a hot plane) that also isn't having to pack the same meal for every single fucking trip + having to deal with lugging it around + like, you're going to want fresh food. But that means money.

There's literally a joke about "the flight attendant dinner" where you eat literally nothing all day other than the chips and cookies in the snack basket because its all you fucking have and you aren't in the position where you can buy food (either bc there is physically no time or place to get it or you're genuinely too poor to afford it)

(There have been days where I've legit eaten nothing other than 3 bags of chips and some preserved olives and soda)

People are always like "Oh wow a flight attendant!! You must make sooo much money" girl I qualify for food stamps and if things keep going the way they are I think I'm gonna have to go for it

That's not even STARTING on the living situation, holy shit yall don't even want me to start on that trust me. I've heard so many horror stories about crashpads (flight attendant specific houses that usually rent out by the bed) and know multiple FAs who not only live in their car but brag about it, because "its sooo much better than a crashpad" (and honestly sometimes they aren't wrong!)

It's soo bad and when you complain about it or the actual physical pain it's been causing you to friends and family they just go "oh... but have you been to hawaii yet tho 🥺" GIRL IM TOO PHYSIFALLY EXAUSTED TO GO FUCKING GROCERY SHOPPING IM ABOUT TO FALL OVER AND DIE !!!!

The economy is in shambles and some of our most glamorized and romanticized jobs are in fact just as fake and shitty as the rest of the "good jobs" out there

Anyways, all of that is to say this;

As a flight attendant, they can have me work 14 hours a day, then only give me either 6 or 5 hours to sleep (depending on whether I choose to waste time eating dinner + shower and change) before I have to wake up at 3am for a 4am shuttle to the airport to work another 13 hours that day.

And then only get paid $200 for it.

(The worst days of my life have been working this job)

[neonvqmpire]

oh man i remember when switch was released like it was yesterday 🧓... I wanted it since day one especially that I was a nintendo kid but :( too expensive for me :(

yea i feel you i only got mine in 2020.. i feel like i missed out a lot because of that even then... even tho ive watched people play switch games since the thing came out. the thought to get one didnt even occur to me (even tho we had a wii, wii u, and ds at home) until acnh came out and i hung out with my 2 best friends during our graduation/exam period, both are very big nintendo nerds btw. literally spend all my savings on the switch right before my 18th birthday .... paid WAY too much but i really wanted the animal crossing version. best thing i ever bought for myself tbh like it really got me through the pandemic. first it was animal crossing (765h+ playtime), then pokemon (455h+ on just the switch games) and then of course Splatoon 3 which is SOO CLOSE to 1000 hours now (995h+ in the stats atm, but its 1000 already if you count in the pre-release demo which i also played but its not really the full game ofc)

so yea... my switch is still going strong. i hope you can get one one day!! you could look for used ones somewhere? or look for a lite version? but i get it... the games are so expensive too and theres a new switch 2.0 or whatever coming out at some point but they keep delaying it lol... yea :( gaming shouldnt be so expensive?? like why do i have to spend £1000 for a pc so i can run any modern triple A or whatever video game (which are also like £60+ standard) decently?? its bloody ridiculous.

[worldwright]

good evening ! im more and more early nowadays but that's bc i have shitty days and i love our asks <3

the strong will to kill myself is still here full force and now i want to slit my throat open :) what a great way to start today's ask BUT GREAT NEWS I CAN STILL GET ANGRY

yay

it's been over a fucking month at least that i corrected someone's spelling in a fic because they butchered a bit too much a french word and I -a native french speaker- thought it'd be good to say to the guy to correct it, i was nice and all -normally i don't really care at all but it was too bad not to correct it yk LOL WRONG THE WRITER HAD THE FUCKING STUPIDITY TO RESPOND TO MY COMMENT AND NOT CORRECTING THE FUCKING SPELLING

FUCK YOU

it's a fucking spelling, everyone misspells from time to time for fuck's sake, just correct it ????? BUT NOPE. KEEP BEING AN IDIOT

and why would i remember that now ??? because a fucker that i don't even know, the only thing Im sure about him it's he's a friend of one of my friends by the fact he's on a friends' discord server where we all know each other IRL. we were all debating about AI videos (OpenAI Sora exists and that's hell) and i was talking about nsfw deepfakes and he went "never saw that", which isn't a fucking argument, and we were debating

and i said so, because that's not a fucking argument. and he said he knew that and i just went "okay /gen" and he didn't understand, so i explained to him what it meant what id just sent, because we use tone indicators in the server to avoid any misunderstandings, and a friend dropped a link to the most used tone indicators, so a short list, because she's nice and because we're all here to learn and all, AND THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE JUST WENT "LMAO IM NOT READING ALL OF THAT" WELL YOU FUCKER JUST GET OUT IF YOU WANT TO FUCKING ACT LIKE THAT

SO I INSULT HIM, RIGHTFULLY OR NOT IDFC I JUST LISTENED TO LEO GOING "INSULT HIM" AND I WAS LIKE "YEAH", BECAUSE YOU GO AND SAY THAT IM NOT UNDERSTANDABLE AND THEN SOMEONE PROVIDES YOU AN EXPLANATION AND YOU REFUSE ????? AND OH, YEAH, MAYBE I SHOULDNT HAVE SAID "IF YOU KEEP BEING MEDIOCRE IN YOUR COMMUNICATION YOU CAN GO AWAY" AND "DONT COMPLAIN ABOUT NOT UNDERSTANDING ME AND THAT YOU SEEMED LIKE A DICKHEAD WHEN YOU ADD A 'LMAO'" THEN YOU DARE TO ANSWER WITH "IT WAS JUST A MESSAGE, NO NEED FOR EASY INSULT" YOU MOTHERFUCKER

so. i didn't know i could still have the energy to be angry, but apparently i can :))))) my favorite feeling :)))) like it is not one of the FUCKING reasons i have so many traumas because my family FUCKING REFUSES THAT I HAVE NOT EVEN A BIT OF A LOUD EMOTION BECAUSE IM THE FUCKING PERFECT CHILD AND THAT I TRIED TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF ON A FUCKIN WHIM

so, to be short, ive never learned to live with emotions :))) normally that's Leo's and A.'s job to have strong emotions :)))) and now we all understand why my main occupation of the day is to fucking flee from my emotions because im a fucking mess

SO

have a wonderful morning my friend im gonna go and read some fics, wanted to continue mine today but that's not happening if i can feel anger (it can lead to self-harm pretty easily and fast, so that's a big no)

oh god, many sympathies, that sucks :'))))))))))

ugh some people just aren't worth arguing with. they're not trying to discuss anything, they're just trying to be a dick and refuse to change their views on literally anything

I'm in my friends' apartment!!!!! trip took a lot longer than planned last night due to train delays, but I made it!!!! had some alcohol and had a fantastic time :33333 we're going out to do fun stuff today :3333333333

gonna get groceries, get food, perhaps get ice cream, there's a really good bakery we can go to....... I'm havin a great time :3

my friend is doing better now!! still not fully recovered, but able to hang out

headed to the farmers market now!! hope you find a good fic to cool off with <3 <3 <3

[anandasamsara]

You know what i really really hate?

Those positive posts saying "you have all the time in the world!" or "30 is not too late" or anything similar. Bc you know what?? Im 31 now. I dont have a job. My parents are getting old too fast. I have no way to provide for myself, and no family to help me. No job experience. And i probably wont be able to keep studying, bc as my aunt literally just said to me, "if you apply for the supermarket job, you'll have to work saturday, and you should never tell someone thats hiring you that you have anything else important going on. just let it go, keep the job and maybe one day you can go back to your studies"

And also the fact that my whole fucking family MADE me become a teacher, back in 2007 when i wanted to at least learn math and chemistry, and i fell in love with it, and they let me spend 20 years learning how to teach and falling in love with research and encouraging my dreams just to tell me now that they dont matter and that i have the rest of my whole life to delay them to. They lied to me and let me get lost in useless dreams and now i have no job experience to apply to anything. I cant get even an interview on my own skills alone. And now i spent years in higher education just to try desperately for a job as whatever anyone will hire me to do.

I knew i shouldnt have tried the post grad thing. It was too much to be true. I should be happy with whatever.

Happy birthday to me

[trinrose3]

Eric! TW for stuff like parentification, abelism and transphobia

1. How does your character think of their father? What do they hate and love about him? What influence - literal or imagined - did the father have?

2. Their mother? How do they think of her? What do they hate? Love? What influence - literal or imagined - did the mother have?

He resents his parents for a lot of things. They were very strict and conservative growing, very much a woman’s place is in the home type of people, to the point where they would force Eric to never cut his hair. They were also a bit abelist, they didn’t like that Eric was Albino and would call him “devil child” force him to dye his hair black and wear colored contacts to hide it. Liam was a “surprise baby” and while at first he was treated as god sent but when he had certain “developmental delays” they began treating him more like a burden and as if he was a punishment on them, So Eric began taking on more of a parental role for his brother. He absolutely despises them.

3. Brothers, sisters? Who do they like? Why? What do they despise about their siblings?

Liam! He loves him as a son!

4. What type of discipline was your character subjected to at home? Strict? Lenient?

His parents were VERY strict, like yikes.

5. Were they overprotected as a child? Sheltered?

I would say sheltered, mostly from things he shouldnt have had, think very much “abstinence education” and “cant read or watch certain things cause theyre the devil” bs

6. Did they feel rejection or affection as a child?

Rejection :(

7. What was the economic status of their family?

Well off

8. How does your character feel about religion?

Catholicism (derogatory)

10. Is your character street-smart, book-smart, intelligent, intellectual, slow-witted?

He’s very street smart and had QUITE the rebellious phase. Technically he kidnapped Liam when he ran away but his parents didnt care so they let him so yeah...

11. How do they see themselves: as smart, as intelligent, uneducated?

He’s smart and he knows it!

13. Did they like school? Teachers? Schoolmates?

School was a bit of a safe-haven for him, his teachers were a lot more chill then his parents and did the best they could to help him. It was also where he met Theo and August!

14. Were they involved at school? Sports? Clubs? Debate? Were they unconnected?

He did as much as he could to get out of the house but quit when He took more of a role in Liam’s life

15. Did they graduate? High-School? College? Do they have a PHD? A GED?

High School!

16. What does your character do for a living? How do they see their profession? What do they like about it? Dislike?

I keep switching from independent small art business to writer lol. He loves his profession, it allows him to stay at home while making an income and have a creative outlet!

17. Did they travel? Where? Why? When?

No he hates outside lol

19. What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now?

I think when he was younger he thought if he played the “good little girl” enough that his parents would actually care but eventually realized that would never be the case.

21. What are your character’s manners like? What is their type of hero? Whom do they hate?

He’s pretty laid back doesnt really care much for bs manners unless hes trying to impress people or is a guest in others homes

22. Who are their friends? Lovers? ‘Type’ or ‘ideal’ partner?

Theo and August! He’s also friends with a lot of punks/goth people he met in HS that helped him figure himself out and gave him a place to stay if he needed it! He doesnt talk to many of them nowadays but he’s stayed close with a few!

23. What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex?

Ill leave that up to you lol

24. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually?

Gamer(lol), He can be a bit of a worry wart so he tries to take the lead if he doesnt have 100% confidence in the current person in charge or else he’s STRESSED. He does a lot of volunteering for the activities his kids are in!

25. What are their hobbies and interests?

Goth and Punk! He also likes animals skulls! And..some other stuff! (my brains blank rn ngl)

[munsons-maiden]

why do you think billy can shake off the mindflayer with a single memory? his mom left him with an abusive dad, shouldnt that make him hate her? i'd love to hear youre thoughts on that

Hi nonnie 😁

That's an interesting question. The way I see it, the memory El triggers with her words holds a lot of emotional value for Billy (otherwise, El wouldn’t have seen it while walking through his mind) and to understand how this plays into Billy freeing himself from the Mind Flayer, we need to understand Billy as a person first.

Billy isn’t an asshole at heart; the behaviour he shows isn’t a mirror showing us his true character but a shield to hide his true self from the world - because his true self is still the soft, caring, protective and selfless little boy from the beach who put himself between his mother and his abusive dad no matter the consequences for himself. That’s who Billy still is at heart, but he can’t show that because it would make him vulnerable, it would make him a pussy and if he’s learned one thing from Neil Hargrove, it’s that he can’t be a pussy. Else, he’ll lose the control he has outside of his abusive home.

The thing is, Billy has put up this facade for so long now that he doesn’t really remember who he was before his mother left. There’s so much pain and misery and all the loss and grief and sadness over losing his mother that his true self is buried too deeply to emerge.

Until El reminds him of it.

There are multiple factors coming into play here when the memory is triggered:

The description of his mother. It helps Billy remember a moment he’s buried so deep to avoid the pain it would bring him because his mother is gone, but despite her having left him, Billy still loves her. She’s still the most important person in his world and has - most probably - been the last/only person who’s ever shown him unconditional love. It’s not only the memory of her, but of the love Billy once received.

“you were happy”. It implicates that this might be the last happy memory Billy has because we know for sure every bit of happiness he might have experienced left when his mother did. The memory reminds him of how it felt like to be happy. That there was, once upon a time, something else in his heart but all the pain and grief and misery and rage.

Third - and that’s probably the most important point - as I said, Billy has locked away the memories of how his life was when his mother had been there, before he was left alone with a monster to raise him. We don’t know for sure whether Billy was abused by Neil before his mother left, but judging by the way she stands between Billy and Neil in the scene at the dinner table, throwing a plate at Neil to keep him away, I’d say the abuse truly started when she was gone, because there was nobody left to protect Billy anymore. He was forced to learn how to minimize and delay the inevitable abuse, so he learned to put on this mask, to bury his true self in order to protect himself in the only way possible for a little boy like him - his father didn’t want him to be a pussy, taught him it was bad to show softness, so he became the opposite. If he was the one to hit first, the one others feared like he feared his dad at home, he would a) fit better with his father’s ideals and b) he’d be in control outside of his home situation (which he would never be able to control) so the abuse wouldn’t reapeat itself outside of his home. And c), if you don’t get love, if all you get growing up are violence and emotional abuse, being an abuser towards others was a way to mend the self-esteem Neil is obviously very busy breaking over and over again by insulting Billy, calling him slurs etc. Billy’s whole behaviour over the past decade since his mother left is a conglomerate of protective mechanisms, coping and a facade he has, to some degree, internalized to the point he doesn’t remember how life was before, who he truly was/is. For Billy, the past decade has been nothing but survival mode. But by triggering this memory, El helps Billy remind himself who he truly is. That all the softness and all the selflessness and empathy of that happy little boy at the beach are still there, that the real Billy is still there. There is a moment, only a split second, when we see Billy look at the Mind Flayer, finally out of the monster’s grasp, and we practically see the ferocity in his eyes when he realizes that he found his way back to his true self and that the Mind Flayer is just another abuser twisting him into something he’s not. And we see the determination to put an end to it, to save El and to save his sister and the party and to save himself. He knows he won’t make it, and yet there’s no hesitation when he stands up to the Mind Flayer. Because Billy knows who he is and what he has to do.

So in conclusion, it’s not only the memory of his mother that gives Billy the strength to shake off the Mind Flayer’s grasp on him, but the memory of himself, of who he used to be and still is and can be again.

The Billy we see in these last moments in his life, that’s the real Billy.

[fatal-rewrites-warriors]

starlight chapter 14

this is where my suspension of disbelief begins to flag. Brambleclaw encounters his father in a dream and his first instinct is to...have a chat with him? huh? this is the same guy who's been tortured by his heritage since birth. literally the moment he was born he's been scrutinized and treated like garbage, not to mention he literally lived through his father's tyranny and the horrors he brought to the forest, and youre telling me theyre just gonna chat?

like hawkfrost i get. baby wants to be important and talking about tigerstar is taboo in the clans so chances are he never really got the full picture beyond "he was a bad dude" and instead was raised by Sasha's idealized version of him that she still clings to. bramble has no excuse, though.

oh okay so this is more of the erins' weird hangups on blood relations. like i knew it would be but jesus christ. bramble wouldn't fucking do this.

Hawkfrost literally did not need to be Tigerstar's son change my mind

thinking back it does make sense for the apprentices' training to be severely delayed by the destruction of the forest and moving to a new home, especially since Squilf was made a warrior like...super young (she was like. 9 months old or smth lmao) and even Whitepaw, who shouldve been the oldest apprentice, wouldve only been like. 10, 11 months old when Squilf gets named

however i bring this up because Spiderpaw gets his name before her, and hes Squilf's age, maybe younger. THAT pisses me off. fucking keep your timeline straight it shouldnt be that fucking hard with however many people you have working on this damn series.

Dustpelt dont yell at your son he was just trying to help :( i know ur scared of losing him but come on he's doing his best

//skips the warrior ceremony because its the same shit every time

i understand that mousefur is the oldest cat in the clan but shes literally only like a year or two older than firestar. i also know that the erins are doing this because they fucked up and killed too many old cats. i nonetheless have no sympathy.

"do kin share dreams" brambleclaw are you stupid or do you just not care about the women in your family

[storiesofsvu]

Ok, last night I went back and rewatched 'The Long Arm of the Witness' because you suggested it at the end of SSS ch 15. At this point I had read through ch 17 of SSS. Keeping in mind what I knew from SSS, I watched the episode and holy crap it fits with canon perfectly! Not only does it fit, but I feel like canon doesn't even make sense without SSS.

Like in SSS when Carisi mentions that Rita was acting different during the Gallagher trial and didn't seem bothered at all when the prosection brought new evidence last minute. She really did look relieved. And when the judge changed the verdict, Rita wasn't even mad. She just sat there calmly and once again had a look of relief. Normally she would've been so mad if that kind of thing happened. I also noticed the comment she made to Olivia in the elevator at the end of the episode, and then you brought that up in ch 18. Like Rita said in SSS, it definitely felt like she was saying that to Olivia, almost hoping she would figure out what Rita was trying to tell her without actually having to say it.

It all makes so much sense. SSS is canon and no one can tell me otherwise. It explains everything.

Babbbbeeeeyyyy!!

THANK YOU!! Seriously. My viewings of that episode went like 1. RITA RITA IS BACK. I was so distracted I didnt notice the subtle acting/directing choices. I IMMEDIATELY watched it again and 2. “This... isnt the same rita we remember...”

And then I got to thinking about ms marvel herself. She’s TOO GOOD of a fucking actress to just drop 90% of traits that Rita had just cause it had been a few years/Barba wasnt there to bounce quips off of.

Plus her comments about Gallagher in the first scene?? And then she reps him???

Sorry for the delay cause I had to go dig up gifs LOL

Thats the moment the judge allows the recording Holmes took in the bathroom. She doesn’t glare, she doesn’t scoff, she doesn’t even cock a brow. Her lips don’t purse. And there’s even the *slightest* curve up of them as if she’s not only relieved but HAPPY knowing he’s going down.

Then we get Chip allocuting saying he now realizes his “advances weren’t wanted” or whatever. There’s hesitancy? Almost in her eyes, a near glare before she focusses on nothing. The tiniest little nod.

THIS ONE???

The FACT THAT SHE CANNOT EVEN LOOK OLIVIA IN THE EYE WHEN SHE SAYS THE “lie back & take it”????!!!!!!! Her gaze is downcasted, it’s submissive. And when she leaves the elevator its not her normal power walk, she’s defeated, exhausted, trying to keep up a front.

And NOW. Let’s go back.

S17.

The downland case. She doesn’t just send Abby & her parents into svu. She goes in herself & drags the detectives back to their house. She’s there every moment, sneaking her way into finding out the dna matched. She’s waiting outside for Barba, assuring him of Abby doing the right thing, how she “was answering his texts” how Abby was “introverted, shy, doesn’t know how to act about it cause theyre teenagers still seeing each other at school”. She’s there for the entire trial, and m’am is acting her ASS off in the background of shots that aren’t even in focus 😂 (which also makes me wonder if the rita we know is so sharp & abrasive because she was shy back as a teenager & she didnt really know how to say no kinda thing)

Next time we see her is s18ep 1 terrorized. She takes on a client who (imo, shouldnt have even been being charged) was forced/coerced into a crime because she was being abused & raped. THIS is Rita’s expression while the girl’s telling her story. I dont think that’s “lets look extra symphathetic for brownie points for liv” i think this is a “i understand...really...”

We do see her again in Spellbound, which I’ll have to go watch again & properly analyze lol. But it’s a solid win for her & a tricky case cause the girl did vocally say yes to sex ON TAPE. (Though she was hypnotized)

I TRULY think they were setting Rita up to have the arc that Nikki Staines ended up taking in s19 because ms marvel went off & got signed on to HOC/Homeland and wasn’t available.

BUT I do think they’re revisiting it now because those tiny little subtle things ms marvel does in the s22 ep just aren’t the Rita we’re used to. (Not to mention she almost gets thrown in contempt & that has NEVER happened. She would get her “withdrawn”’s out before Barba could even object!) and ms marvel (and i quote from an article) “has more acting ability/power in her jawline than most actors do their entire career”

Anyways!

Thank you for coming to my ted talk & I do believe that SSS should be canon 😂😂

I knew I wanted a story to cover the s22 ep stuff, and it was when I rewatched A Misunderstanding that I froze & was all “wait... Rita went to dowland.... is... her name on that wall?” Abs BOOM plot.

[pestopascal]

While I will absolutely agree that CB2077 isn’t the ONLY game doing all this bullshit, or that other AAA studios don’t deserve the flack CDPR is getting, I have to say that this is absolutely the perfect storm and I think people are FINALLY seeing the problems in modern AAA gaming. CB2077 might be fun to play, may have a good story, but it’s almost impossible to see because of the glaring issues. Which, honestly, is a good thing. I hope games change after this.

under here

AAA studios have been like this and this sort of release has been completely normalised on all accounts by both the businesses themselves and fans because of the inherent reliance on modders (bethesda at the forefront of this), as well as the pushback every time companies actually go ‘uh we need a lil more time’ (although... they just shouldnt announce potential release dates, im even of the camp they shouldnt even start releasing the game until like 6 months out from their official date because they fuck it up every time. borderlands 3 being the only game i know of being in “secret” development and then announcing itself in march for a september release. game itself aside, thats how companies should do it). easily i can remember a lot of 2011 release games which have had the exact same issues as cp77′s release, and then every other game in between since. very rarely do you actually have a game that isn’t a fucked up mess of a pile of pixels. and it is always the customisable character ones that are honestly, genuinely, ugly looking at release. but you can definitely say its been happening looooooong before 2011, with unrealistic expectations, word limits, 11 month time frames, offloading sequels to smaller companies so they can suffer if it fails, etc etc. the entire system has been like this for so long... they dont know any real different nowadays.

i mean look. tlou2 released under crunch conditions this year, and was rewarded. it was ALL over the social media feeds, it was quite the controversy because, surprise surprise, the company promised they wouldnt do it uwu and then. bam ! crunch conditions. literally around that time too, bioware employees came out with a statement saying ‘man we wish dai FAILED so that back in 2014 we couldve proven crunch was a wrong practice’. they say this as well after having to produce da2 in 14 months, which just suffered from fans and journalism for reusing environments, because it was produced in 14 months, and honestly? no one pointed that out back then, bioware themselves pointed it out again this year, 6 years after release, that that game was produced in 14 months. rdr2′s release was hounded by stories of crunch, and they all disappeared into the night because... it was heralded as the best game of all time. that was 2018, 2 years ago.

i think too is that some people get kind of ... morally and ethically concerned. which is understandable. can you consume something when you know it was made under conditions like crunch? and i think one of the most confronting things about it is that 9/10, not only has your favourite company engaged in crunch conditions, they almost actively choose to continue with them. and then that’s a whole other bag of issues blown up over there when it comes to what is able to be consumed what isn’t etc etc

i think also like a mix of marketing, promises and then the expectations of what the game will be like have really had cdpr earn the ire of fans which is just like... you don’t believe what these companies are saying. you never should, esp when it’s their ceo’s saying it who don’t work on the actual floor. bioware itself is the main culprit of doing this to the point they finally came around with all the da4 concept art and teasing to be like ‘ummm but actually dont get invested?’. remember all that qunari lady fanart that bioware management was like ... please dont get attached? yeah. yeah. like at what point as well is there going to be heavy level of apprehension to approach this? and i can’t really talk either, i cracked open the door for mass effect again. i know exactly what kind of shit bioware will pull, i know they are teasing it already on social media, but mass effect is my ride or die series. that’s why people keep opening the door on letting these companies get away with it. and you can’t fault fans entirely either because this is down to a science of how to get money. i mean, fuck, mass effect andromeda’s entire advertising campaign HINGED on the n7 logo. for the nostalgia value. and i see text posts in the same vein of both ‘guys, disney isnt gonna fuck you if you consume every remake for nostalgia value’ and ‘its understandable why people do it’.

so then you have to go ‘well are fans as just to blame’ and then that’s a whole other argument.

i think also like. i personally havent run into aaaannnyyyyyyy of the issues that you see posted online. which is ironic bc 1) i play on ps4 and 2) its an old dusty ps4. in fact a lot of ppl i have spoken to who have had issues have played on pc. does this mean the glitches dont exist? ofc not, the vids and screenshots are right there. but like... ive had a basically unhindered experience so far, and i get where ppl are coming from (i do, i promise) where theyve basically found the game unplayable. is there also a standard of what ppl consider unplayable because ive played most AAA games at launch when they basically rushed to slap the box label on the game and called it a day until they work on patches. when ppl consider unplayable is also just... different per person. some people have a slight blur on the screen when turning too fast even in an MMO and decide the game is horrible and unplayable. some people can have broken quests and npcs not loading and falling through maps and still be fine. there’s no agreed statement of what makes a game unplayable either, which is why you read threads on twitter and someone goes ‘yeah this npc t-posed so i quit in the first hour’ with a dozen replies. everyone has different levels of it.

it’s a mixed bag of issues. im not excusing cdpr, but the ppl who worked on the game are honestly likely not the ones who pushed for a release. you’ve gotta look at sony and microsoft and ceo’s with bonuses coming up and the investors and shareholders and people who sit behind computers and read numbers detailing interest and demand and supply and how every single time they had to delay this game, the loudest (but smallest) bunch of assholes on like reddit and in the twitter threads complained that it was delayed AGAIN even though back in what 2015? they said it’ll come out when it’s ready. and yeah there are times when game delays result in a mismatched half assed sort of story (kh3... p5... ffxv... dai...) and then there are times when, if they need to delay the game... they probably need to delay the game. sometimes delays are bad sometimes theyre good sometimes you are sitting there like whew if you only didn’t try to be like THIS TIME this is the release date.

the ONLY WAY this will stop happening is, quite frankly, unionising. and everyone is allergic to that whole concept so like... this is “the perfect storm” as you put it. but it’s also not. people have been so disappointed over the last 2 years alone for gaming companies, the final product, the attitudes from higher ups, that i think cdpr is receiving a good few years worth of anger. i think theyre also on the receiving end of misdirection from american fans who still don’t fucking get the company isn’t american, because that’s another bag of issues as well. like we’re holding at least 8 bags of groceries out of the back of the car now, and we don’t want to take another trip, because there are so many little bits of this entire situation to look at. there’s so much back and forth.

i think the worst, but most realistic thing is: games won’t change. how they will social media wise will. maybe. assuming bioware gets their heads out their asses but... they’re going to be a lot more careful. i mean, hell, sony offered refunds. that was just a publicity stint. they dont give a fuck if the game was bad. as i said before, if they did, they would make all companies fix trophy problems, starting from like 2010 or whenever the trophy system first came out. they just don’t wanna fall in alongside cdpr being thrown on its sword. but the companies are gonna learn from this, get smarter, still do the same shit to their employees, still pay off journalists, still do media blackouts, etc etc. and we’re gonna be here in another year’s time, with another game, having these same roundabout arguments, and cp77′s issues are gonna fade into just a wikipedia article.

[cynicalrainbows]

Inner Voice Chapter 5

Tw for refs to internalised emotional abuse. *

When they go back into the theatre, she's still tucked under Anna's arm: Anna hasn’t disengaged her and she can’t quite bring herself to move away until she has to.

The others aren't practising,as she hoped they would be, and they aren’t even lounging in their usual breaktime spots. Instead, they’re sitting in an anxious huddle close to the door. 

Cathy taps her foot, and Anne is gripping the neck of her water bottle rather too tightly.

‘Kitty!’

‘Are you alright?’

‘What happened?’

She gives a small nod-shrug and presses closer to Anna. She doesn’t really want to have to go over the whole thing with them again, she’s sure there will be some eye-rolling at the very least.

Anna tries to shrug off their concern. ‘She’s just having a hard day, everything is fine.’

There’s a shift in energy- no one quite believes her, no one seems to want to probe, and she’s just wondering if anyone is mentally tallying up how many minutes of rehearsal time she’s wasted, or how much this will be held against her, when Cathy steps forward and hands Kitty her water bottle.

‘It can be really hard, having to do the high-emotion thing all the time.’ She gives Kitty a small sympathetic smile. ‘You did well to keep on so long though, I’d have cracked much earlier.’

Funnily enough, she doesn’t sound impatient. In fact, she’s oddly matter of face- as if Kitty’s histrionics were par of the course, as opposed to a sign of deep-rooted personal weakness.

‘You saved me from begging for mercy, I thought I was going to pass out after the fifth time-’

‘God, same-’

Suddenly, they’re all nodding and chipping in about how tired they were getting, and it’s on the tip of Kitty’s tongue to apologise (if only she’d been more with it, they wouldn’t have had to keep doing her song) when Aragon cuts in.

‘Shall we take a break? I think we’re due one anyway.’

Anne jumps at the Spanish queen’s suggestion- ‘God yes. I forgot to get any coffee this morning-’ and half sits, half collapses to the floor, dramatically. 

The others group around her. She can’t deny that she’s grateful for the chance to sit down at last but she also can’t help eying the time nervously.

‘I’m sorry for- delaying everything-’ 

‘Oh love-’ Jane leans forward, drawing Kitty into her arms and hugging her tightly. It’s not familiar like Anna but still warm, still soft- still comforting, despite the fact that she’s still a little nervous around Jane (around all of them) and that it’s totally unexpected. 

Jane’s embrace feels nice though- not suffocating as she imagined, but safe, something she might even be able to get used to.

‘You have nothing to be sorry for’ Aragon adds decisively.

Still, she still feels like she owes them more of an explanation.

‘I’m sorry I ruined the rehearsal, I was just-’ She swallows. ‘-really tired-’

It's not an explanation at all, she knows that- she's had it drummed into her that personal weakness is no excuse for shrinking of duties, but still it’s the only explanation she has.

She holds her breath, waiting for the eye rolls and sighs (or worse, the anger that she’s clearly not really sorry at all but lying in order to manipulate them into feeling sorry for her)- but the other queens just nod as if she’s not only justified but reasonable.

‘We shouldn’t have made you do that awful journey yesterday-’

‘We should have just told them no-’

‘God, we fucked up….’

Jane lets her go so that Anne can fling an arm around her instead, and it’s funny, to see her cousin- who she can still barely talk to- be so indignant on her behalf. As if she- and her welfare- matter.

‘We should have made you stay home!’

Aragon nods ruefully. ‘Yes. I think we dropped the ball a bit.’

‘We should have taken better care of you-’

The words make her throat fill with anxiety. How has she managed to do it again, to twist these poor women into guilt on her behalf?

(Because that’s what you do, that’s what you’re like, you manipulate people, you hurt people, you use people- and they’ll see through it eventually, they’ll all see through it, and they’ll hate you, they’ll hate you-)

‘No, I’m sorry, I’m alright, I’m fine-’

‘Kitty-’

‘I’m sorry, I was lazy-’ She can feel the words are coming too fast but she can’t stop them. ‘I’ll be better, we don’t need to stop-’

‘Kitty, it’s alright-’

She pulls herself away from Anna’s side and stands up, she needs to show them how this isn’t an act, she’s being sincere, she’s not trying to guilt them or force them to coddle her-

‘I’m fine-’ She's almost panting with the effort of assuring them she’s ok, that she’s not going to be any trouble. Her eyes are stinging again. 

The other queens are standing too, but not in a good way, like they’re listening to her and believing her.

They’re looking like they’re still worried, like she's somehow still managing to trick them. She doesn’t know how to make them believe her, although she’s trying, she's trying so hard- and a sob that she can’t hold back escapes her.

‘Kitty-’ Aragon steps in front of her, blocking off the others and placing her hands gently onto her shoulders, and she flinches, waiting for it- whatever it is- to come. ‘You need to calm down, alright? Just slow down. Can you do that for me?’

She nods, gulping. She doesn’t want to make Aragon any angrier, after all. Out of all of the others, Aragon is indisputably the most intimidating- the oldest, the most poised. Her hands, through, are surprisingly gentle.

‘Good.’ Aragon slowly presses her back down to her place on the floor. She’s much too nervous of the woman to spring back up, and the others sink back too, looking worried. 

‘No one is cross, love. No one thinks you’re lazy.’ Jane reaches out as if to touch her and then pulls herself back with effort when Kitty flinches again.

She can't say anything without contradicting her directly so she doesn't.

‘Why does the idea of being taken care of upset you so much, mija?’

Aragon is looking at her intently, like she’s waiting for an answer, but Anne leans forward when she shifts uncomfortably.

‘You don't have to answer Kitty-’

‘That's true.’ Surprisingly, Aragon doesn't bite off Anne’s head for interrupting. ‘But I'd like her to tell me- tell us, if she can.’ She looks at Kitty persistently. ‘Kitty? Has someone made you think you shouldnt be looked after?’

She can't unstick her tongue enough to defy Aragon- and she’d never have the courage anyhow, so she nods, partly because it's true and she's afraid to lie, partly because it doesn’t require talking.

‘Was it someone recently?’

She gives a tiny shake of the head. It only feels recent.

‘You know they were wrong though, right?’

She shakes her head again and Anna looks puzzled.

‘Kitty?’

She knows she's going to have to explain, if only to stop them all from looking at her. More than ever, she wants their eyes off of her.

She takes a deep shaky breath.

‘You don’t understand… I….I’m doing it again. I’m trying not to but I am- and it’s not fair on you all, because you’re all really nice but-’

‘Doing what?’

She doesn’t want to tell them but she has to, she has to take ownership of herself, that was how Henry always put it.

‘Manipulating you….making you feel sorry for me.’ She swipes at her cheeks. ‘It’s just how I am but I want to be better, I’m trying to be better-’

‘How are you manipulating us, Kitty?’ Aragon’s voice is very calm, very measured. 

‘I’m making you feel sorry for me….to- to get what I want-’

‘And what do you want?’

She doesn’t understand- the softness of Aragon’s question, as if she hasn’t just admitted to being a terrible person, the neutral curiosity in the faces of the others, as if they haven’t been giving her sympathy and kindness undeservedly.

‘I want- I want to rest.’ She’s trembling. ‘I want to stop and I know I can’t, I know this is my job and it’s not harder on me than it is on you, I do know it, I do, but still-’ Her voice cracks. ‘I’m making you all feel sorry for me rather than just getting on with it, and-’ She chokes on the words ‘I know you’ll see what I’m like and I’m so afraid you’ll hate me for me it, but as much as I try, I can’t...I can’t be better-’

She’s crying too hard to go on, and she’s waiting for their reactions- for their anger, their betrayal, their disgust, or even just for them to get up and go, leaving her alone. 

(She can’t even decide which would be worse.)

There’s a silence- a silence that drags out forever, and then movement, and she braces herself- only to find herself being scooped back into Jane’s arms and held tightly against her soft chest, and at the same time, there’s a babble of voices.

‘Oh-’

‘Oh Kitty-’

‘Oh my god-’

They don’t sound angry exactly, as much as they sound horrified, but somehow, none of it seems to be directed at her.

‘Oh love- you’re not doing anything wrong, you’re not a bad person...’

‘It doesn't make you bad to want a break, it doesn’t mean you're manipulating us if we notice-’

‘Kit, why would you even think such a thing?’

‘You don't-’ she pulls herself away from Jane and looks round at them, desperate to make them understand. ‘You don’t know me- he, he knew me, he knew what I was like-

‘Henry?’

She nods, sniffling. ‘You’re all lovely but- you’re lovely but you don't know me, if you did, you'd see the things in me that he did. And you will see them, eventually, and I-’ She presses a hand to her mouth. ‘I- I know you’ll hate me when you do-’

‘What did he say to you, Kitty?’ Anne leans in, intent, and then squeezes her hand. ‘Tell us.’

‘I can’t-’

‘You can. Please, Kitty. We want to understand.’ She looks round at the others. ‘Don’t we?’

They all nod. 

She supposes she owes it to Anne- her only cousin, who she's let down so much already by being so very useless- to be honest.

She takes a breath, wills herself to be brave.

‘He….he could see that I was lazy. He said he could tell I couldn't make myself stick to- to anything. That I was stupid- really stupid, I couldnt understand things he’d tell me, really simple things-’ She wonders if any of them are nodding, if they’re looking at each other like ‘Ah yes, I see it now’. ‘He said he noticed how I would make people feel sorry for me to get out of things- that I knew how to make people do what I want, that I liked it. That he could see I liked the control. That I was…’ This is the hardest to say. ‘That I was bad. A nasty person. Cruel. That’s….that’s all.’ 

But she knows it’s quite enough.

[pandawritespoorly]

And: Chapter 3 - The Masks

Author’s Note: Here we are! The final chapter! There was some delay, so thank you all for your patience!

First | Previous

Ladybug and Chat Noir stare at each other in frozen shock as their transformations time out. They’d both chosen the same alley, and there was no time to switch.

And suddenly it’s Marinette and Adrien in the alley, Tikki and Plagg watching silently.

“I-” Marinette chokes out. “I’m so sorry. I have to go.”

She rushes out without another word, her head down and shoulders drawn up as she brushes by Adrien. The blond lifts a hand toward her when she goes by, but pulls it back to his chest. He watches her go, then turns and walks the other way.

--- 

Tikki watches her Chosen sadly. The girl had rushed straight home and flopped onto her bed without another word. Not crying, but definitely shaking.

“Marinette, talk to me,” she prompts.

“What is there to talk about? He hates me now!”

“Why would he hate you?”

Marinette sits up, pushing herself off her pillow, then gestures at herself. “Because I’m me. Ladybug isn’t some hero! She’s just me.”

“You said the same to Chat Noir a while ago. What did he say then?”

She pauses, then looks away. “...he said we’re the same person.”

“And?”

“And he wants me to learn how to appreciate that.”

“So do you think he would hate you now? Just because he knows who you are?”

“Yeah, because I’m Marinette.”

“I disagree. How does Adrien feel about Marinette?”

She opens her mouth to say something about he probably couldn’t care less about her, then actually thinks.

And realizes, that at least in her mind, they’re actually friends. Adrien - socially deprived child that he is - probably would agree wholeheartedly with that statement.

She falls backwards onto her pillow, covering her face with her hands. “Oh nooooo, I’m an idiot.”

“You were overwhelmed by what happened. I don’t think that makes you an idiot, I think it makes you human.”

“An idiot human,” she groans. Then her body goes rigid, and she flies up, scrambling for her phone. “Oh no! He thinks I hate him!”

Tikki sits back. For now, her job is done.

 Marinette: oh my kwami im so sorry

Marinette: i shouldnt have run off like that

Marinette: im honestly really happy that its you

Marinette: it was just so much at once and i was worried you would hate me and didnt want to see that because youre really important to me and im so so sorry

 Adrien: yeah it definitely stung

Adrien: but plagg reminded me about your feelings about your identity so i kind of figured it had to do with that

Adrien: still had me worried though

 Marinette: i know i know im so so sorry

Marinette: um maybe we can meet up for patrol later to talk

Marinette: give us both some time to process

 Adrien: sounds like a plan princess

---

When Chat Noir lands on the roof, he’s immediately tackled in a tight hug by Ladybug. He barely manages to keep from falling over.

“I’m so sorry, mon minou.”

He returns the hug with a smile. “It’s okay, I understand.”

She finally steps back, looking at him with teary eyes. “No it’s not. I hurt you, even if you understand what happened now…”

“You aren’t, um, upset that it’s me, are you?”

“No!” Ladybug grabs his hands. “Never! There’s no one else that I would want to be my partner!”

“Okay.” He smiles. “Then I’m okay. No more apologies, m’lady.”

She looks as though she’s about to argue, then lets out a deep breath. “Fine. If that’s really enough, I’ll stop apologizing.”

He sits down against a wall, patting the spot beside him.

She sits there, smiling for a moment before it fades. “And, um, you aren’t… disappointed it’s me?”

Despite knowing how she feels about herself, he’s still surprised at how she can’t see how amazing she is. “Absolutely not. You’re wonderful, Bugaboo, your being you only makes you doubly awesome. I purr-omise.”

She gives him a small, but bright smile at that, then smacks him gently on the shoulder. “That was an awful pun.”

“Claw-ful?”

She giggles. “No!”

“Won-fur-ful?”

“Absolutely not!”

“Hiss-terical?”

“Nope.”

“Claw-ver?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Purr-fect?”

“Kitty, I am paw-sitive that that was far from your purr-fect pun.”

He gasps in delight. “You punned!!”

“I shouldn’t have. Now you’ll never stop bugging me about-”

He gasps again, and it clicks.

“Hey wait! That one wasn’t purposeful!”

“Purr-poseful,” he whispers. His eyes are shining, and there’s a wide smile on his face.

“I’m just going to stop talking.”

He hugs her tightly, and she returns it begrudgingly. After a moment, he finally says, “Hey, does this mean we should delete that app?”

She hums. “Maybe we can just use it for hero business now.”

“Sweet.”

“You just liked the dumb nicknames, didn’t you?”

“Purr-haps.”

“I’m ignoring that, but we can change each other’s names to some equally horrible nickname for normal texting.”

“Even better!!”

Ladybug leans her head against his shoulder and smiles. “I’m glad it was you,” she says softly.

He leans his head against hers and takes her hand. “I’m glad too. I couldn’t ask for a better partner.”

She fights the blush rising on her face. “Neither could I. Partners, with or without the masks?”

He pauses. “And.”

She furrows her eyebrows. “What?”

“Partners, with and without the masks.”

A smile breaks across the girl’s face. “I like it.”

---

Author’s Note: Well, what do you think? I'm pretty pleased with it, though maybe one day I'll rewrite this. I don't know.

Now that this is finished, I'm going to try and post a one-shot about once a week - though that's very loose (trying to go easy on myself). For now, A Shy 'Sparrow' is on hold. I want to finish writing it before I start posting it again.

It's been lovely to be back and see you guys again! 💕💕💕

First | Previous

[voidselfshipp]

[Violet Fan]

Arno x Jerico

I used Google translate so if anything Wonky y'know why

Often times parties were a sign of richness and greed.

An special event to celebrate something perhaps too.

Arno,always attracted to these kind of events found his way in.

The colossal Palace was brightly lit with chandeliers hanging from the ostentatious ceilings ornamented with gold and contrasting the white walls.

"Why this big of a party?", he asked himself.

The french Man bumps into someone,they drop their purple fan.

--Oh my most sincere apologies madame

He picked the item up and handed it to the person.

Their eyes meet, its a beautiful woman, porcelain skin and sharp features,big green eyes.

Her eyes were most peculiar, arno felt his breath hitch, he swore they were shining under her cute Hat decorated with sunflowers,Like emeralds under a candle.

Her hair in a bun covered by said hat with a few loose strands of hair.

Her attire was most peculiar, It looked familiar yet New to him.

18th century gown with earthy colours, another dress or something with some kind of turtle neck stamped with sunflowers.

--Oh dont worry--she said in a subtle accent he never heard before-- im too clumsy too

Then a Man,taller than arno looked at this mysterious girl, and spoke to her in a foreign tongue.

--hir kazwiv--(yes father) she answered back--Im sorry but I have to go

And so like that the Man and that enigmatic Lady dissapeared Into the crowd.

Who was she? What language was that?.

--You really outdid yourself this time Ray!

Jer pulled down on the Mans sleeve.

--Dont give me that look we still have to wait 100 Years more to reveal ourselves.

The Man sighed,he loved her daughter dearly but he had to admit that sometimes she was too much to handle.

--That doesnt mean you shouldnt let me have fun!besides he only gave my fan back!.

--ah mr Karuma Von terra and ms. Jerico Von terra,glad you could make it, is france too much to handle?

Ray wants to roll his eyes so bad,but he shakes his head and forces a smile-- not at all

--we Will discuss our arragement with you mr.von terra , let your daughter enjoy her stay at the Palace and have fun , oh and heres the keys to your bedroom ms.Von terra

Jer quickly takes the keys and puts it in her dresses inner pockets,terrans fashion was way out of this centuries reach.

Ray cant say anything before his daughter runs away from his grasp.

Both men walk alongside the other.

--Sadly mr Morgan couldnt make it,being a doctor took a toll on him,however he did say he Will come by to say hello.

Ray nodds

--Children huh?

The terran Man smiles --Yeah, rowdy bunch,however jerico seems to be having fun, shes a Smart kid,sadly until our reveal to the world isnt done I am afraid I cant let her get into trouble,we cant delay this any longer

His companion nodds and guides him to an Office.

Meanwhile,her daughter was talking with some of her father acquaintances.

She politely excused her leave and decided to find some more food to munch on.

The crowd seemed thick and busy.

Arno was looking everywhere for that girl, so much he started to sweat and he rested against a wall.

A soft breeze reached his face and when he Turned to see what was causing it, he felt dumb.

--too warm?--It was that woman she was looking for.

--Im afraid so...., Arno Victor Dorian

--Jerico Von Terra

He softly grabs her spare hand and kisses the back of it.

Her cheeks flush and she lets him hold her hand for a bit longer.

They Keep eye contact for a bit too, and suddenly, realizing that it was in fact too busy for their liking.

The french Man noticed that something was wrong,jeri seemed twitchy and unconfortable.

--Everything okay mademoissele?

She can only shake her head and thats when he realizes shes overwhelmed by the huge crowd.

He nodds and puts a hand on her Lower back trying to find an exit.

There, a stair that leads up to the guest bedrooms.

He pushed her closer to him as they passed the gatherings of people,helping her up the stairs.

Once on the upper floor she makes a signal to arno, he follows up to her bedroom.

Its spacy with decorations on the walls and ceilings,flowers And a big bed, he thought that maybe three people could fit in there.

Jerico sat on the bed, the Man sat with her and grabbed the fan from her shaky hands, using it to cool her down.

She hasnt spoke and whatever was left for him to do was to hesitantly put a hand on her shoulder and then down to her bicep to push her against his chest while still fanning her.

--Thank you

She whispers pressing her head to his chest.

The frenchmans cheeks flush red and tightens his grip around her.

He hasnt felt this way since....since elise,rest in peace.

His heart healed from old wounds a long time ago, and suddenly he felt it Flourish again at the sight of her.

--Anything I can get you?

He asked.

--Maybe water,and could you tell a servant to inform mr von terra that im here?

--Hes your father I suppose?-- she nodds- very Well miss ill be right back....

Arno leaves giving her back the fan, asking for a glass of water and telling a maid to deliver the message to jericos father.

Now the night went on , so did the party.

Altough Ray did not approve of arno being alone with jerico in her room,he trusted his daughters judgement for once.

Jer was looking out the balcony, arno comes from behind and squeezes her shoulder--How are you feeling now belle? (Beautiful?)

--alors vous demandez à tout le monde comment vont-ils?(so thats how you ask everyone how are they?)

--seulement ceux qui me semblent jolis(only to those I find pretty)

--And you find me pretty?

--oui (yes)

Arnos hand holds jericos as they lean into the other,his spare arm hugs her waist and Jers falls loosely around his Lower back.

Their lips press togheter for an instant,before parting away and then again meeting the other.

He felt like not letting go, he didnt want to leave tonight.

He felt his heart explode in Many colours as the vitraux in the cathedral when the sun hits it.

--Stay?--she asked softly as their foreheads pressed togheter.

--How long Will you stay?I cant say goodbye now

Jer felt her chest warm, and pressed a soft kiss on his lips again--A month maybe,but I do wish to see you again monsieur dorian...

Arno lifts her up like a bride and carries her back to the bed where he promptly lets her back rest and hover above her, letting his head fall on the crook of her neck to then cuddle her in said bed.

--Then ill stay

Jerico smiles , hugging him tightly.

Arno knew almost nothing about her,but this whole night felt right.

--bonne nuit chéri(good night sweetheart)

--bonne nuit mon prince( good night my prince)

And they were just getting started.

Every afternoon while Ray discussed the affairs that had brought them there, jerico and arno would sneak out to eat something at the most beautiful cafes in france.

Walk among the shore, and travel the markets.

When the clouds were present and the rain fell mercislessly upon france, they would be found in bed, cuddling eachother in the dark as the fireplace cracked.

And slowly,jer started to reveal who she was.

But not things like,what she liked, what interests she had,wich books she read,he found out about that the first week they spent togheter.

No, where she came from,why so much mistery upon their arrival.

She was a princes from a Place yet to be discovered,or to be revealed to humanity.

He had to spend a whole day processing all the information he was given.

And, yet that only made him want her more.

But love grew and the month fled away fast.

Both lovers were scared of separation, they couldnt be appart for long.

Ray,who had loved as strongly as his daughter did, decided to let her stay in a Palace in the outskirts of france in wich arno would move in a couple of weeks after.

Jer had the opportunity to leave france whenever she wanted.

But seeing that her love for arno was too big,as were his, it seemed that it would be a long time before that would happend.

Now,in a hot summer day, jer was under a tree, Reading when she felt a breeze.

--Mon amour...--her boyfriend said using the same purple fan who helped them meet to cool her down- May I get a kiss?

Jeri giggled at the dorkiness of arno, and nodded, kissing him softly.

They were not letting go any time soon.

《OKAY TO RB AND GUSH IN THE TAGS》

[transrightsjimin]

im sorry im not rly in the BE hype atm :((

rant coming which has nothing to do w the album but everything w stress nd fatigue nd crying nd more job stress nd sensory overload and me turning everything into a worse issue in my head etc etc

i was this morning when i saw the mv nd watched the vlive but i obv slept way too few bc i went to bed late nd woke up early for the live and i had to rush a lot w errands nd an appointment w my autism coach nd at said appointment we called a dude from the municipality to inquire abt jobcoaches nd it turned out we misunderstood what jobcoaches are as they are who u get referred to when u have a job, nd the guy found it hard to figure out what type of trajectory(?) would best fit me for help nd now i have time to think abt it and will speak him again in 2 weeks or sooner if i want to. im just so tired nd a bit hungry and on edge and one sec, im in the side of the house tht faces kids playing around aka screeching as if theyre dying every second nd its majking me only more on edge!!!!

but urgh i cried so bad during the appointment and was prob way too rudde to her before the appointment, bc she talks loudly nd sounds rude nd confronting but just naturally bc ofher tone nd language nd urghgh h thikning abt jobs nd trying to talk nd not cry too hard when trying to explain stuff to the man over the phone was rly hard, like obv its fine if he knows im crying but its just hard to talk when crying nd im just so devastated thinking abt jobs!! i dont know what type of job i could handle nd it feels like im making everythig up bc i did somehow finish two studies in uni and im privileged enough w education and whiteness tobe more easily selected for a job by e.g. last name on my cv and i shouldnt be this picky but god i cant handle smth as physically demanding and underpaid as this, im tired 4/7 days that im not working nd what i earn in those 3 days is still not enough to cover rent bc they pay only for the delivery time itself instead of more hours!!! it just feels like wtf am i doing bc the municipality guy did admit im not the usual person he works w bc i had an education, as if i dont belong in the group but its really just an issue of having -100 confidence and no job experience!! like i rly dont strive for a fancy job or ‘’’career’’’, i just bneed something that i can pay my monthly expenses w and have a bit left to save up for e.g. emergencies, additional medical bills (like the 350 euros from the adhd diagnosis and therapy, which my autism coach will contact my adhd therapist abt, like if that bill can be delayed or split up in a payment plan), paying back for loan debt eventually and MAYBE soon god forbid i save up for smth fun. and i “need” the job also to have a daily activity and some structure in my life bc a large part of the reason my schedule is so fucked up is bc i have no more set time tht i need to be anywhere or any strictness or reason to get up nd so i just dont ghhh

im always looking for reasons why i cant do smth and why smth would go wrong and im already looking at every area where getting help w getting a job can go wrong like e.g. me being too stubborn abt companies i dont agree w or me thinking i cant do anything just bc i have not much working experience outside of mail delivery :(

nd then there was this A B C task list system my adhd therapist proposed in wihc i keep track of my most to least urgent + important tasks every day nd we werent sure where to keep track of that kind of list and she suggested sticking a paper to a wall (i think id rather use my wardrobe) to write it on and change or replace that every day and it sounds like a hassle but i rly need to do it every day, nd i can try other methods but thatd be either writing it on my phone but im not always on there nd theres not a type of file i can make that doesnt move back chronologically as i make new notes

ALSO im just very frustrated w myself bc my mom wanted to come over w food and i know she was too sudden w it but if only i left on time for the stores it wouldnt have been an issue. i feel like shes rly sad she couldnt come visit. fucking hell i rushed so much back and forth from the stores that i forgot to put the leftover letters from work yesterday into the outdoor mailbox and i already stress abt this bc my current teamcoach (aka manager) is more stricter w this stuff nd recently asked for a statement / explanation by me on why there were 29 letters w/o sticker from a route i did  counted from the collected mail that were in outdoor mailboxes, and i did not do that but my only alibi / reason for not making that huge mistake was that i hadnt posted any mail yet that day and obv he wasnt happy w that. i sometimes had dreams / nightmares recently where i was late again or fucked up w a new route and got fired for it and thats quite an awful scenario / fear to me bc thats exactly why my dad was fired by his previous employee, for being late too often nd we’re the exact same. it just sucks bc i know many ppl who worry abt being late arrive to early at shit bc lol anxiety but i still arrive late every day WHILE being stressed abt it nd my whole fucking issue is that i need to break w bad patterns MYSELF, like whether i get help for autism stuff or adhd or sleep or whatnot, the homework / assignments / tasks / advice they give me, in the end i still need to be the one to do it and push through and make a change or put more effort into not going continuously back to the same distractions or demotivating black-white thinking

just URGH im so easily annoyed nd sensitive, also as in sensitive on a tactile level nd it doesnt help tht my room is a mess nd im super stinky from bts BE excitement and from squeezing my skin a lot last night, nor does the fact that i have rly bad coordination / awareness of my surroundings nd continuously bumping into shit or getting caught on smth help, which is also another reason im just so slow at work bc if i try to walk or deliver mail faster i keep end up bruising nd tripping or tear my hands on all these hard to move or sharp mail box slots if im not careful nd slower, which does still happen but not as bad when im careful

im also rly dizzy rn from haing slept too few and just urgh i “need“ a stupid fucking job, i need the money i need the structure but my god does actual labour and having to deal w colleagues every day and trying to keep up w stuff and be fast and precise enough in whatever the job is, sound horrifying hhhgghgh

OK RANT OVER IM SICK OF ME TALKING SO MUCH

[afrocentric-divination]

Is it wrong to get upset when a reader delays in sending your reading to you after you’ve paid — and they’ve promised to send it by a specific time? I’ve also messaged them and haven’t heard back, and I really need those answers (personal issues). Life happens to and with everyone but what do you do in this situation? Also, I’ve had situations where the person told me “sorry, I forgot !”

So like say they promised 3 days and 1-2 days have gone by and you haven’t gotten anything. That is still fine. Where as if they promised 7 days and 8 days have gon by. You have every right to blow up their phone lol. Ask for refund. Let them know you’ve been patient but they didn’t do what they were supposed to do and because of it you deserve a refund. And if they don’t, let others know who this reader is 🙃

Just like us readers hope and pray you all are understanding, we also shouldnt take advantage of that, because you are paying for our service and knowledge of the cards.

It’s up to you if you still want to get readings from this person, but I would get a refund and keep it going.