#i refuse to say fitzroy

[jamneuromain]

A Whiff of Blood

Lloyd Hansen x You

Warning: Mob AU, Mob!Lloyd, Secretary!Reader, Graphic Depiction of Violence (I guess Lloyd is a warning of his own?), Reader has light hemophobia (fear of blood), and ofc, the direction mention and description of blood, sexual harassment

Summary: It is a dumb idea to be working for Lloyd when you have hemophobia.

A/N: Based on the prompt from the bingo challenge. The inspiration came from @rogerswifesblog / @rogerswifesblog-updates when we were talking about business dinners and such.

The whiff of blood drifts out of Lloyd's office. You scrunch your nose and pull out a piece of tissue with a floral scent to cover half your face.

It is a dumb idea to be working for Lloyd when you have hemophobia.

The smell grows stronger, so you uncap your perfume and spritz it all over you.

As long as you turn your head the other way, or mask the scent with something stronger, your phobia will not act up. And considering Lloyd is paying you a hefty salary and bonus, you don't complain.

After all, when choosing jobs, at best, you can only pick two features out of "well-paid", "light work", or "close to home".

You are lucky that you can drive for an hour on weekends to visit your mom who lives in the suburb.

The door to his office swings open with a loud "bang", as if - no, probably, Lloyd kicks it open, and out comes two bodyguards dragging a heavy black garbage bag.

Quite heavy. Like 70 kilograms heavy.

You wouldn't want to speculate what is inside.

You turn your head the other way, facing a rather pleased Lloyd Hansen, the mob boss who pays you to be his secretary.

"Mr. Hansen, I've secured the dinner tonight at 7 pm with Mr. Suza Brewer. He owns the biker gang Hellbend ever since you helped him take out the previous leader Fitzroy. You will be having dinner at the restaurant named Bird. It's adjacent to the Ritz-Carlton, so you can take your pick whether to stay in your suite or go back home. Either way, I'll go tell your driver Denny to get ready." You don't even bother getting up, spinning your chair in his direction, you hand him the files, with a polite smile on your face, "These, I need you to sign so your clubs will be running as usual. Your head accountant Marilyn has an appointment with you in fifteen minutes, and I've called the cleaning crew. They are ready to clean up your office right now."

Lloyd snatches a tissue paper from your desk, wiping his silver blood-stained ring on his middle finger clean, before tossing the reddened, soaked, and irritating odor tissue onto the ground and out of your sight. A small smirk on his lips, Lloyd purses his lips to stroke his mustache with his finger, "Send them in."

You nod, picking up your phone from your desk, when he holds up his hand to stop you for a moment.

"Good job, Y/N." He says curtly.

Lloyd's icy blue eyes zero on you. After a few seconds, he speaks up again, "You're coming to the dinner with me."

You nearly jump from your chair. Shocked, but most importantly, confused, because he has never asked you to present during business dinners.

After all, those who were qualified for "business" are either ruthless or sociopathic. While your boss Lloyd is both, you are neither.

"Mr. Hansen, I-"

"You're off for the rest of the day. Call Denny, he knows where to buy a decent dress." He pulls out his wallet from his inside pocket, and hands his black card to you, "Consider this a bonus." His tone unrelenting, pushing the card on the desk further towards you, he issues his final command, "And tell Denny to find you a stylist."

You swallow your refusal and take his black card.

You know he doesn't take "no" for an answer.

"Thank you, Mr. Hansen."

He hums impatiently, waving his hand to gesture that the conversation is over for him.

For the first hour of the said "business dinner", you try your best to focus on the food in front of you, instead of the Brewer man. He is a few inches shorter than Lloyd, but the look he delivers when he stares at you is simply...

Fearful. Even more than Lloyd.

Having worked for Lloyd for nearly three years, you witnessed he yelled, shouted, pulled out his gun to shoot someone's brain out (you vomited on to his shoes, very unfortunately, for which he yelled at you for approximately half an hour), and of course, being mad at some business partners and the determination in his eyes to eliminate his rivals. But none of his looks scared you like the creepy feeling Suza Brewer brings you.

Lloyd gives off the vibe that he will shoot you alive, while Suza Brewer could skin someone alive. And Suza has not stopped stealing glances in your direction ever since you and Lloyd presented in this dinner.

You look at your plate, cutting a small chunk of carrot in half. Trying your best to ignore the four bodyguards, two from Lloyd and two from Brewer, standing in the back.

Convincing yourself. Maybe this Brewer guy likes to look, similar to many men who passed by your desk to reach Lloyd's office.

You raise your eyes carefully, taking a long exhale as you continue to persuade yourself that Suza Brewer brought a lady to the dinner, probably also why Lloyd has asked you to come along.

After a few glasses of wine, the girl Suza brought sat on his lap boldly, feeding him bites of cherry tomatoes.

"I'll say yes to your proposal. You and me, 50-50." Suza suddenly lets out a laugh, "I just want one tiny thing to sweeten the deal." He squints his eyes, and points his finger towards you, "I want - her."

The small chunk of carrot lingers on your lips as you are about to eat.

The young girl's jealousy could tear you in half, Suza's greasy lips smack together, as if tasting your flesh, and Lloyd simply looks at you, with minimum expression you have ever seen on his face.

"Excuse me?" Lloyd clenches his teeth.

"C'mon, buddy." Brewer smacks Lloyd a bit too hard on his shoulder, barking laughter with his yellow crooked teeth exposed into the air, "You can't keep such a sexy thing all to yourself, eh?" He wiggles his eyes suggestively, "Don't tell me you haven't fucked her yet?"

Now you HAVE to say something.

"Mr. Brewer, I assure you that my work with Mr. Hansen is strictly professional." You smile politely, raising your glass for a toast, "In fact, I think that's what we all want, Mr. Brewer, to have a long-term stable business relationship with Mr. Hansen. Here's to our thriving partnership-"

Brewer gets up from his chair and sways towards you. He could barely walk straight but he still manages to stand behind your chair, lowering his head right where your ear is.

As he speaks, he reeks of wine and meat.

"I'm talking to your boss, bitch. " Brewer snarls, slapping your hand so hard that your wine glass falls to the table. Startling you when you are trying to stay calm. "You are but a plaything to Lloyd Fucking Hansen and I'll have you whether you like it or not."

Now here's the difference between Brewer and the rest of the men who pass you to get to Lloyd's office. For those men, they work for Lloyd, and hence, they wouldn't dare to touch "Lloyd's belonging", which is you. Brewer, on the other hand, is a total wild card, which you understand perfectly as Lloyd worked with him to kill Brewer's adoptive father Fitzroy.

He is as unpredictable and unstable as Lloyd, maybe even more so, because Lloyd certainly hasn't laid a finger on you ever since you worked for him, neither sexually nor violently.

You even your breath as Brewer leans closer He grabs your boobs with his hand, having you freeze on your seat.

"In fact, I'll invite him to watch how I fuck his pretty little whore."

The chill seeps deep into your bones. You urge your body to fight back, but sanity tells you that you would probably end up in a dumpster with a bullet hole on your forehead if you ruin this big deal for Lloyd. For a brief second, you think about begging Lloyd. But in reality, your mind is point blank as the mindset in between "fight or flight" kicks in, and it instructs your body to play dead.

It might be a few seconds. Or a few minutes, before your savior swoops in, saying something that sounds like mumbling to your brain.

"We're done here." Lloyd growls, snatching your wrist with a grip hard enough to bruise, tugging you harshly to leave. Your knee and thigh bump into the wooden arm of the chair, to which you bite your lip in pain, and still too shocked to get your language system back online.

"But our contract-" Brewer shouts to Lloyd.

"I'll get back to you." Lloyd snaps back, pushing and shoving your back to move before him.

Your mind is a blur and cannot recall how Lloyd stuffs you into his limo when he steps outside to smoke. He did, however, throw his coat onto you and shut the car door with a loud "thud", having front-row driver Denny lowering the panel between you, whispering with much concern, "What's wrong?"

You curl your fingers into the black woolen coat. Folding it neatly as you have done hundreds of times when he throws his coat over you or over your desk. Placing it on your legs.

"Here. I'll tune the AC up." Denny showers you with his sympathetic look, as he has never seen you so out of yourself, so soulless, and shivering.

Your mind has been replaying how Brewer grabbed your boobs, and the filth he talked about. You also know that you have nowhere to hide, if Lloyd is determined to get something done, if he wants to deliver you to Brewer.

Though the tinted car window muffled some of Lloyd's angry shouting, you are still able to comprehend that Lloyd just got mad again.

"... CALL ME WHEN IT'S DONE!" Lloyd yells at his phone, opening the car door, and sliding in, taking a big inhale of the warm air inside. Glancing at you, he seems not having returned from his angry state, "AND THIS COAT IS NOT -" He lets out a grumpy huff, "never mind."

After a moment of silence, you feel like you should make your statement, no matter if Lloyd being unreasonable. You simply have to.

It's your life at stake here.

"Mr. Hansen, I just wanted to tell you that it has been a pleasure working with you these past three years. i have gained much experience and knowledge working as your personal secretary and assistant. I want to express my thanks for you cultivating me into a qualifying secretary and no matter what happens, I would want you to know that I cherish our business relationship and accept the consequence."

Lloyd listens through your statement surprisingly patiently, and pinpoints the most crucial idea (he thought that it was) throughout your entire speech, "You want a raise?"

You stutter, "No-No! Mr. Hansen! I wouldn't - What you have given me is well beyond market average and I appreciate your confidence in me."

"Ah. So you want to quit?"

His cold blue eyes stare into you. You gulp in fear.

"Yes, I mean - No, I don't want to quit. But circumstances have ... arisen, which makes me wonder ... uh, if I was able to -"

"I've had enough of it." He grumbles, twisting the ring on his finger, "Your next sentence starts with 'I want' and stop using these big words, sunshine. One sentence. Not another word."

"I - I want you to not deliver me to Suza Brewer." You quickly say, "Mr. Hansen." You did your best to be respectful.

His grumpy expression lingers on his face for a second, before turning into disbelief, "That's all you're asking for?"

"Yes...? I really liked working with you, Mr. Hansen, and I don't want to be put into a position that you are choosing between me and your ... business." Seeing that his mustache is twitching, inching close to a sneer, you add, "If you could just let me go, and claimed that I slipped through your custody or got away as soon as I could, I think that Mr. Suza would not mind that much -"

His index finger points up to shush you.

Lloyd snorts, fishing out a box of tictac and popping two colored-candy into his mouth.

Crushing the sugary treat with his jaw, he closes his eyes and roots his upper body firmly onto the back seat, "Denny, take us to the warehouse by the Westside Pier."

The Westside Pier.

The one place Lloyd would go to if he captures a traitor or fulfills a hitman contract.

The one place he could make a body completely go away.

He's about to end ... you?

The cold October wind does nothing to help you fight against the icy feeling in your bones.

The stylist Denny founded accompanied you during shopping and chose a most-fitting black dress for you, which goes a little over the knees. Along with the warm AC everywhere, the length didn't bother you -

-until now.

You hold Lloyd's folded coat in your hand, following Lloyd out of the car with teeth clattering, more out of cold than of the horrible thoughts of what he would do to you.

Lloyd turns around, grunting in a sarcastic way, "Can't believe your clever brain didn't work out why the coat-" before he stops whatever that's about to go through his lips, roughly taking the coat from your hands and putting it around your shoulders, "Try not to freeze to death."

Your hesitant expression must have been obvious, because he looks at you and purses his lips in slight irritation, "Don't do anything stupid. And follow me."

What does this even mean? That he doesn't want to kill you after all? Or that he has changed his mind and thought you know too many secrets to be alive?

Your mind buzzing with thoughts as you follow Lloyd through the gate of the notorious warehouse.

The swinging lightbulb over your head and the faint smell of blood make you nauseous. You have not stepped foot into this warehouse because you have heard of the cruel things Lloyd has done to his opponents, all of which happened here.

"I don't care how much your boss pays you, I-I'll pay you double!" A man screeches pathetically, taking hit after hit on his stomach from Lloyd's muscle man as two other hold him upright.

Looking at Lloyd's direction, the man's swollen and bruised face lights up in an instant.

"Lloyd! Buddy!" He gobbles in a mouthful of blood, "So glad, ehhehe, you came!"

Lloyd grabs his hair, and punches him in the stomach.

"Fuck you, buddy," Lloyd swings another punch at Brewer's stomach, a cold smile on his lips, "fuck you, alright?"

A sharp scream of pain. "Lloyd, I don't understand-"

Lloyd drags his head in front of you, bending his neck to face you, to which you cover your nose because of the strong smell of blood bombarding your nerves. "There. She's my people. You disrespect her, you disrespect me. Got it, you dumb fuck?"

"Sorry!" The man shrieks his apology, "I'm sorry!"

Oh. So that's what he meant.

You bury your nose under his soft woolen coat. Burying the lower half of your face. Your cheeks getting warm, and a small grin creeps up.

Feels kind of nice. To have someone watching over you.

"Our business," Brewer pants, coughing out blood, losing a few of his teeth, "you need me to do our business, Lloyd."

Lloyd smirks, waving to gesture the removal of Brewer.

The man is still screaming he's sorry, but the two muscles hold him by his arms, forcing him to stand on the edge of the pier and tying a large rock around his waist.

"But Mr. Hansen," You stop him in his tracks, "your business, your deal with-"

You point towards Suza Brewer, now with a gag so all he could manage is some muffled voices.

"Don't worry your head around it, sunshine." Lloyd places his hand on the coat collar and tugging it tighter. The look on his face blank, but somehow more sincere than his cold grins, "I'm working with his stepbrother now. Pal is so grateful that I help him take care of Suza; he decided to offer me 70% of the cut."

You let out a whispered "Oh". Glad that Lloyd's "business" is thriving but also ... not that glad.

He's doing this for his business after all ... while he'd get to ... make it up for you?

A strange feeling tugging your heart. Some sort of relief, but not entirely. You are disappointed, somehow, as if you believed there should have been more to this gesture.

The muffled screaming stops after a loud splash comes from the edge of the pier.

The three muscle men return. One of them announces: "He's been taken care of, boss."

Smelling the whiff of blood on them, you can't help but crouch onto the ground and hurl your guts out.

Lloyd gestures those men to "beat it". And as the air clears from the smell of rusted iron and salt, a white handkerchief dangles in front of your eyes.

"Don't puke over my shoes again." Lloyd stands still, pinching his handkerchief between his index and middle finger, handing it to you.

You gag a few times, covering your mouth with the smooth white handkerchief, turning into another direction other than his shoes.

"Mr. Hansen, I don't know you -" You fight the instinct to be sick in front of him, standing up from your crouching position with wobbly legs, "carry a handkerchief." You take a deep breath to calm your nerves, wiping the corner of your mouth using the white fabric, now stained with the red smudge of your lipstick, "I'll dry clean it along with your coat, and send it-"

He seizes the handkerchief and stuffs it in his front pocket, "Don't bother."

He pats on your shoulder. The same way he would pat his men. A silent encouragement and praise of "Good work".

"Mr. Hansen, I-"

You want to say something. The precise moment when your heart skipped a beat and you've captured something vague in your mind, some terrifying yet imminent. Your bones rattle in the possibility of the blurry idea. But when his blue eyes turn to you, the idea takes its chance and slips from your mind.

"-thank you." Is all you could say.

"Wait for me in the car." He searches his pocket for his box of matches and cigarette, waving his hand, shushing you away, with the cig between his lips. He sounds stern as ever, but deep down, you feel like something has changed.

Lloyd watches you as you head back to the car. You, his tiny, fragile, delicate, poor little secretary who gets sick at the sight or the smell of blood.

He watches you still wrapped in his coat. When the cold October wind sweeps by your feet, you shiver under the warm expensive wool.

He stares for a long time when the match used to light his cigarette burns the tip of his fingers.

"Shit." He grumbles.

[fitz-higgins]

LGBT literature of the 1860s–1910s. Part 5

After a long pause, the list is back! Here we have a couple of plays, accounts by two trans women, lesbian poetry, and more.

1. Despised and Rejected, by A.T. Fitzroy (Rose Allatini; 1918). A pacifist novel published during World War One? With gay and lesbian characters? Yes, that was sure to get people in trouble. Its publisher was fined and the judge called it “morally unhealthy and most pernicious”. So, Dennis is a young composer who hates violence and therefore refuses to go to war. He also suffers because he is a “musical man”, that is, gay, and loves Alan, art-loving son of a wealthy businessman. His friend Antoinette, meanwhile, is “strangely attracted” to a woman. Nevertheless, the two attempt to love each other. When the war begins, Alan appears in Dennis’ life again, and they try to avoid being sent to the front together. Alan also persuades Dennis to accept who he is. Edward Carpenter himself defended the novel, saying that “the book is also a plea for toleration of a very much misunderstood section of humanity”. Read online

2. Autobiography of an Androgyne, by Ralph Werther (1918). Ralph Werther, also known as Jennie June, wrote this autobiography for doctors, and it is very revealing. Being a New York fairy (male prostitute) and possibly a trans woman, they tell frankly about the city’s gay underworld of the early 20th century and their personal experience, which is sometimes too frank and dark perhaps, but all the more interesting. Read online 

3. Poems by Mikhail Kuzmin. Kuzmin was not just the author of Russia’s first gay novel, but also a poet. Many of his works were dedicated to or mentioned his lovers. I’d recommend Where Will I Find Words (in English and Russian), Night Was Done (both in English and Russian), from the 1906-1907 collection Love of This Summer (available fully in Russian), mostly based on his love affair with Pavel Maslov in 1906. And also If They Say (in English and Russian), which is a great statement.

4. The Loom of Youth, by Alec Waugh (1917). A semi-biographical novel based on Evelyn Waugh’s older brother’s experience at Sherborne School in Dorset. It is a story of Gordon Caruthers’ school years, from the age of 13 to 19, and it is full of different stories typical for public schools, be it pranks and cheating exams or dorm life and sports. Although the homosexual subject was quite understated, the author implied that it was a tradition and open secret in public schools. The book became popular and soon caused a great scandal. Worth noting that before that Alec was expelled for flirting with a boy.  Read online 

5. Two Speak Together, by Amy Lowell (1919). Lowell was a famous American poet and lesbian. Many of her poems were dedicated to her lover, actress Ada Dwyer Russell, specifically the section Two Speak Together from Pictures of the Floating World. These poems are infused with flower imagery, which wasn’t uncommon for lesbian poetry of the time. Read online

6. De berg van licht/The Mountain of Light, by Louis Couperus (1905-1906). Couperus is called the Dutch Oscar Wilde for a reason: this is one of the first decadent novels in Dutch literature. It is also a historical one, telling about a young androgynous Syrian priest Heliogabalus who then becomes a Roman Emperor. Homoerotism, hedonism, aestheticism: Couperus creates a very vivid world of Ancient Rome. He also covered the topic of androgyny in his novel Noodlot, which was mentioned in Part 3 of this list. Read online in Dutch 

7. Frühlings Erwachen/Spring Awakening/The Awakening of Spring, by Frank Wedekind (1891, first performed in 1906). This play criticized the sexually oppressive culture prevalent in Europe at the time through a collection of monologues and short scenes about several troubled teens. Each one of them struggles with their puberty, which often leads to a tragic end. Like in The Loom of Youth, homosexuality is not the central focus of the play, but one character, Hänschen, is homosexual and explores his sexuality through Shakespear and paintings. The play was later turned into a famous musical. Read online in German or in English

8. Twixt Earth and Stars, by Radclyffe Hall (1906). Though it wasn’t known to many at the time, these poems were dedicated to women, some to Hall’s actual lovers. Read online

9. The Secret Confessions of a Parisian: The Countess, 1850-1871, by Arthur Berloget (published in 1895). This account is similar to the Autobiography of an Androgyne, albeit shorter. The author nowadays is thought to be a trans woman. They describe their love for women’s dresses, the euphoria from wearing dresses, makeup and wigs, the life as a “female impersonator” in Parisian cafe-concerts, and their love affair with a fellow prisoner. The autobiography is not available online, but you can read it in Queer Lives: Men’s Autobiographies from Nineteenth-Century France by William Peniston and Nancy Erber.

10. At Saint Judas’s, by Henry Blake Fuller (1896). This is possibly the first American play about homosexuality. It is very short. An excited groom is waiting for his wedding ceremony in the company of his gloomy best man. They are former lovers, and this short scene is not going to end well… Read online

Previous part is here

[baconmoop]

So at this moment in my previous poll Team Justin seems to be decimating the competition, but a lot of you are saying that there would be a lot of infighting within the teams, or that they'd refuse to fight. So that being said, a new, better question, and this time I'm including more characters. For science.

[itsthestutterforme]

Lloyd’s Girl 2/2 (Lloyd Hansen x tech!reader)

Summary: You finally managed to crack the hard drive. Which meant that your business with Lloyd was officially over. He wasn’t letting you go with a fight, especially with Six roaming around.

Notes: GIF is not mine, all mistakes are my own, reader is Black, dark themes (stalking, murder, threats, cheating), sexual themes (oral sex- f and m receiving, fingering, slapping, p in v penetration, spit swallowing), minors DNI, there’s no Lloyd Hansen without smut am I right?

Prompt credit @tbgkaru-woh : “Is that it, or is it because you’re in love with me?”

**

You did what you promised to do. You decrypted the flash drive and Lloyd had access to everything behind the firewall. Every single black op that Dennis and Suzzane sanctioned off the books was captured and logged. Pictures, coordinates, files on the SEAL teams used. Everything. It was the biggest fuck you Fitzroy could have made.

The longer you searched through the information, the more files appeared. You left the sorting to the techs and passed out the second your head hit a pillow.

When you woke up, it was 7:32 p.m. and you made the realization that you fucked up your sleeping schedule. You let out a long breath before getting up and rummaging through your packed bag. You picked out something casual to mingle with the rest of Lloyd’s friends. If that’s what he would call them.

When you checked your phone, you saw that you had a missed call from Conrad. You called him back when you walked into the bathroom to shower. Conrad answered on the first ring. “Hey baby,” he greets. “Hi, how are you?”

Meanwhile Lloyd had called Dennis with an update. “Did you crack the drive?” Dennis asked. “Yes we did,” Lloyd starts. “Whoever did it, you make sure to keep them. They’re definitely an asset,” “Oh, I know. I called Y/N to have a go at it when my team couldn’t.”

“Smart move.. Y/N, huh?” Lloyd could practically hear the smile on Dennis’ face. “Don’t start. I’ll keep you posted for the asset retrieval,” “Copy that,” Lloyd hangs up, his ears perked when he heard your voice. He walks down the hall and slowly opened the door only to see that you were in the shower.

His face scrunched in visible disgust when he heard Conrad’s voice. You mindlessly went along with the conversations with hums and ‘oh really’s. Lloyd manspreads on the chair in the corner of the room and waited for you. You opened the door with your towel wrapped tightly under your arm and your phone up to your ear.

“I miss you,” Conrad says over the phone and your gaze fell to Lloyd in the chair. “Y/N?” Conrad says and you hummed in response. “Everything okay?” “Yeah everything’s fine, I’m just feeling a little tired.” Lloyd smiles menacingly at your lie. “Okay well I look forward to talking to you tomorrow,” Conrad says. “Me too. Bye,” “Bye,” you hang up and tossed the phone on the bed.

“‘I look forward to talking to you tomorrow’. God he’s so boring. Look at you, you’re bored with him.” Lloyd stands from the chair and stalks over to you. His eyes fell to a bead of water and trails from the back of your neck and down your chest. “Conrad is sweet and considerate and takes care of me,”

“And I don’t take care of you?” “You know what I mean,” “No, I don’t. Enlighten me.” “Life is more than just mind blowing sex, Lloyd.” “Since you think you know everything about me. Let me read you. Deep down, you’re just like me: addicted to the adrenaline of almost getting caught doing something you’re not supposed to be doing. Addicted to power,”

“Everyone is addicted to power, Lloyd.” “But not everyone is meant to have it,” “You’re all fun. And what happens when something is done being fun? You drop it. I refused to be dropped.” You tried to move away from him but he gripped your arm, hard. “You dropped me,” “Before you could drop me,” you released your arm from his grip.

He narrows his eyes at you and his chest heaved with angry breaths. “On your knees. Now. Don’t fucking test me,” you dropped to your knees and shrugged off the towel. “Get to it, kitten.” You unzipped his pants and took him out of his boxers. He licked his lips when you looked up at him, he pumped him and smeared his precum over his angry tip.

Sending a small lick to the tip, gently sucking on it and he looked down at you in annoyance. His mouth fell open when you took all of him in feeling the tip of his cock push your uvula to the side. Pulling back a little, you angled your head so the vein brushes against the roof of your mouth with every bob.

“F-fuck, I missed your mouth.” He groans, his hand found the back of your head. Licking the underside his cock, you massaged his balls. Moving your head a little faster, you hollowed your cheeks and sucked in when you pulled all the way back to his tip. He moved his hips into your mouth, both hands held the back of your head as he relentlessly fucked your face.

Laying your tongue flat out, you could hear his breathing pick up. Pulling him closer by the back of his thighs, you deep throated him. Strings of his cum painted your throat and he cursed above you when you continued to suck him well passed his orgasm.

His knees buckled and you smiled against him before finally pulling away. You wiped away your saliva with the back of your hand. “Look at you. Does Conrad know how much of a slut you are for me?” He lifted your chin and you stood back on your feet. He sat down on the bed and pulled you in his lap all in one motion.

“Hm? Does he?” You shook your head no, moaning when he separated your lips with his thumb. You sucked his thumb and nipped at it. “Do you miss me?” “Y-yes,” he gripped your throat and gave it a squeeze. You subconsciously grinded your pussy against his hardening cock and he pulls away from your throat to slap you across the face.

You slowly met his gaze, your cheek tingling a little from the impact. “You think after the shit you pulled that you get to come quickly?” He condescends. You open your mouth to say something and without warning he shoved two fingers inside of you.

His free hand found your throat again and he thrusted his fingers deep inside you, curling upwards on the way out. “Lloyd,” you moaned. “He doesn’t even make you cum, does he?” He taunts, relishing in the wet sounds of your pussy suctioning his fingers. “Answer me,” your eyes roll back when he adds a third finger and rubs your clit with his thumb.

“Fuck,” you whimpered, trying not to rock your hips otherwise you could get slapped again. You close your eyes in an attempt to focus on cumming but he stops. “Answer the fucking question, slut.” “No he doesn’t. I-I have to fake it. Oh!” “I don’t know what’s more pathetic. Him being a mediocre husband or you still staying with him,” His skilled fingers continued thrusting and curling. You gasped, digging your nails into his arms.

Your body tensed as you neared your orgasm. Then everything just stops. “You don’t deserve it,” he lifted you off his lap by your throat and tossed you on your back. He stands from the bed and pulls off his boxers. Kicking off his shoes, he looks at you with dark eyes. You rub your legs together when he slowly unbuttoned his dress shirt. He stands before you in all of his ripped, lean glory.

His hard cock hits his stomach and you pressed your legs closed to subside the throbbing. “Open,” you loosely spread your legs and he pounced on you, spreading your legs into a split and licked your pussy like a man starved. When your hand slides into his hair, he slapped your hands harder than he slapped your face.

“I’m sorry!” You croaked, tears brimming in your eyes. Your legs shook as he sucks at your sensitive nub harshly. Shifting your hips a little, Lloyd pulls away from you and slaps your bare thigh. He grips your chin and leaned in close so your noses were touching. “You don’t ever ghost me like that again. Got it?”

“I’m sor-“ he cuts you off with a kiss. You weren’t expecting the kiss to be that passionate. You hesitantly held his face, worried that he would slap you again. When he doesn’t, you deepened the kiss and pulled him closer by the neck.

Pulling away from your lips, he left kisses down your neck and your chest. He took your boobs into his hands and gave them a squeeze. He watches your back arch into his hands when he rubs your nipples with his thumbs. Lying on his stomach, he lifts your legs on his shoulders and went to work.

“Oh Lloyd,” you met his gaze when he kitten licks your clit, sending you closer and closer to your orgasm with each lick. Your body shook and tensed as you finally hit your peak. Fireworks went off behind your eyes when they fluttered closed. Your body went limp but Lloyd continued to lick and suck at you. You turned away from his mouth before he keeps you in place.

Your legs trembled on his shoulders and sent a lingering suck to your clit. Your second orgasm came over you quicker and stronger than the first one. Hitting his arms frantically to let you go before you passed out of exhaustion, he smiles against you.

Meeting his gaze once again, he teases you by sending a lick every few seconds to ignite the nerves in your puffy folds. He leans over your twitching form proudly. You could smell your slick in his breath when he says, “Open.” You opened your mouth and he send a slob of spit into the back of your throat. At which you swallowed without blinking.

“Good kitten. Now flip over.”

**

You were sound asleep, burying your face into Lloyd’s neck as he held you close to his chest. He had his eyes closed but he wasn’t asleep. Lloyd had been relishing in the passed two hours. You being here made him start thinking. He didn’t just want you. He needed you. And now that he has you, he isn’t letting you go again.

He’ll need to have a little chat with his brother, Conrad. He had two options: accept that you were Lloyd’s and move on or having a bullet between the eyes. A knock came to your door and Lloyd open his eyes. “Lloyd?” Suzzane says through the door.

“What?” “Six is here and he already took out one of your perimeter teams,” she explains. “Shit,” he pulls away from you gently so you wouldn’t wake up. He puts on his clothes and meets Suzzane outside. “Well you’re not subtle,” she adds. “I really don’t give a shit,”

A part of the building was shot by a small rocket and you had woken up to the building shaking. You sighed when you realized Lloyd was gone but the spot was still warm which meant he had just left. You scrambled to put on your clothes and comfortable shoes.

You opened the door and pulled your twists into a low ponytail. “And you, I want you posted outside Y/N’s room. Protect her with your life,” you heard Lloyd say. “What’s going on?” You spoke, making your presence known. Lloyd’s eyes snapped to you as he loaded his rifle. “Six is here, cupcake. I need you to stay here where it’s safe.”

“If Six is here, there is no place that’s safe. We need to get out of here now. You’re not going to die cleaning someone else’s mess, Lloyd.” He whispered something to his armed men and they all filed out of the room. “Who says I’m going to die?” He jokes. “I’m serious,”

“These two people took out multiple heavily armed mercenary teams. Give them the respect they’re due and leave.” “I can’t do that, cupcake.” “Why? Because of your pride? This is why women have a longer life expectancy,” he took a hand gun from his holster and gave it to you. “I’ll be back before you know it. Just keep the bed warm for me.” “No chance,”

“I had a feeling you’d say that,” he says with a chuckle before giving you a kiss and leaving the room. You watched everything through the monitors. There were too many explosions to keep track but you still managed to track Lloyd’s dress shirt through the screens.

He had jumped into the pond to swim after Six and a young girl. “Damn it, Lloyd.” You took the gun into your hand and cocked it. You ran out the front door and sprinted towards the maze. Suzzane entering the maze caught your attention.

You waited a few paces before following her. Little did you know that Dani was following the two of you. Suzzane had followed the grunts of the Lloyd and Six and the sound of water splashing.

Six had Lloyd in a headlock, leaving his abdomen exposed for a clean shot. Suzzane lifted her gun to shoot at Lloyd and you shot her from behind. She falls forward and drops her gun, bleeding out fairly quick. “Y/N!” Lloyd grunts from the lack of air and points behind you.

You saw the barrel of a gun and wrapped your hand around it to gain control. You gripped the arm attached to the gun and tucked the persons forearm under your armpit, essentially trapping her from using the gun. You elbowed her in the face twice before bending your knees and throwing her over your shoulder.

Stepping on her wrist, she eventually lets go of the gun and you kicked it away. You looked up to see that Lloyd still couldn’t get out of Six’s chokehold. “Hey!” You applied a small amount of pressure to Dani’s throat. “I can guarantee you that I can crush her trachea a lot quicker than you choke him out. Let him go.”

“What happened to Claire?” He asks. “She left her outside of the maze. She’s fine, I don’t hurt kids.” You could sense his hesitation but his grip on Lloyd loosens a bit. “Look, you can keep the asset. I never liked Dennis, and I don’t care. I just want Lloyd,” you applied more pressure to her throat, causing her to choke.

“Alright,” Six announced, releasing Lloyd. You lifted your foot from her neck and she gasped for hair as she held her neck instinctively. You lowered your gun as Six slowly moved towards Dani with his hands up. You didn’t trust him but you clicked the safety on anyway.

You walked towards Lloyd who was leaning against a broken pillar. “I got you,” you took his arm and walked him through the other side of the maze. “You remembered what I taught you,” he looked at you proudly. “And I told you we should have left,” you walked into the driveway and opened the passenger door to one of the SUVs.

Thankfully the security guys leave the keys in the middle console for a quick exit. You hopped into the drivers seat and did a three point turn out of the driveway. “Will you still love me if I only have eight fingers?” He asks, showing his bleeding left hand.

You roll your eyes at him. “You’re mad at me,” “No shit, I’m mad at you, Lloyd. You could have died.” You snap. “You killed a federal agent for me. Why?” You waited a moment before answering, “Because you’re my husband’s brother and I really don’t want to plan another funeral.” “Wrong,”

You could feel his gaze on you as he anticipates the answer he’s searching for. “Because we all went college together,” you evade. “Is that it, or is it because you’re in love with me?” Your breath caught in your throat and Lloyd noticed. You shifted in your seat and rested your right hand on the steering wheel.

“So what happens next?” He asks. “I take you to the hospital,” “And then?” “We go our separate ways,” “Wrong,” “Then what do you suggest?” “They’ll probably pin Suzzane’s death on me so I’ll have to go off grid for a while. Come with me,”

Well shit. You weren’t expecting him to say that.

Should I do a part 3?

[scruggzi]

Sins of the Father sounds amazing!!

I really like the themes in that one. It's all about Phryne being allowed into the boys club of intelligence officially. She's not in any way happy because Hugh is in danger but she's very glad that she doesn't have to fight the men on her side as well as the kidnappers. But it comes at this horrible and non-negotiable cost of having to become the gatekeeper with respect to Dot, when she known full well that if she was in Dot's place she'd be tearing the walls down.

And Jack is playing a delicate game convincing his contacts that Phryne should be on the inside whilst knowing that she's not exactly the best at obeying orders.

So there's this very legitimate balance of Phryne - who has earned her place there in every way - feeling resentful at the limitations of the power she's given and Jack feeling frustrated that she's not more appreciative of the lengths he's gone to to bring her in. Even whilst they are both fundamentally on the same side. And in the best traditions of a phrack disagreement they are both right.

Here's a bit I really like:

Jack picked the telegraph slip up from the stack of thicker envelopes on the table and Phryne was shocked to see his face blanch as he read it. Before she could ask what the matter was, he strode over to the telephone, dialled the operator and requested to be put through to a pub in Fitzroy without a word to her.

She had no objection of course; in fact, she often scolded him for not treating her home as his own. Still, the uncustomary discourtesy struck an ominous note, and she listened intently hoping to glean something from his conversation.

“Is Mr Whistler at the bar?” “…” “Thankyou.”

There was a short pause, punctuated by the nervous tap of Jack's fingers against the hall table.

“It's Shiner. Has it started?” “…” “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

He put the phone down and turned to Phryne his face more scared than she had ever seen it.

"Phryne, do you trust me?” “Of course, Jack. What’s the matter.” “I can’t tell you, not yet, but I do need your help.”

She was tempted to respond with something flirtatious or flippant but the cold fear in his expression stopped her and she simply nodded, ready for anything.

“I need everyone in this house armed and all the doors and windows locked. Where’s Jane?”

The question was enough to scare Phryne in turn, although she did not understand what it meant.

“Staying with friends, is she in danger?” “I can’t be certain but it’s possible. I need you to drive me to The Spotted Dog in Fitzroy as fast as you can without getting arrested, then make sure Jane somewhere safe. Don’t tell me where, and it might be safest if you don’t know either. After that come back here, make sure you have bullets in your gun and don’t let anyone in. Will you do that for me?”

‘Will’ not ‘can’ it was an important distinction. He wasn’t asking her if she was capable, because he know she was. He wasn’t asking her to protect herself and let him run into danger because he knew she wouldn't. He was asking her to help him protect the family they had built together, and he had thought of Jane even before she had known her daughter was in danger.

There was no way she could refuse.

“Did you say fifteen minutes, Inspector? I’ll have you there in ten.”

[squish36-writes-and-draws]

Carry a Torch

Word count: 4401 <- untrustworthy number

TW: alcohol

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @faggot-friday @kamikothe1and0nly @nyxpixels @florida-preposterously @poppinspop @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @did-i-say-you-could-get-up @rusted-phone-calls @when-wax-wings-melt @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @hi-imgrapes @callum-hunt-is-bisexual @xanadaus @callas-pancake-tree @hi-my-name-is-awesome @katniss-elizabeth-chase @arson-anarchy-death @dizzeners @thefoxysnake @olivedumdum

On Ao3 or below the cut!

I would thoroughly recommend reading this on Ao3 if possible. I originally wrote this as a screenplay for my creative writing class and, as such, tumblr nuked the formatting. Ao3 did as well, but less so.

That being said, it's kind of important to understand my larger concept. This is a script for a pilot episode of a TV show. Each episode is going to be featured around a song (and I was forced to write this one which is why it's bad) so at the end, it's a concept album. You will not be allowed to have the rest of the show. I refuse to write it.) This also takes place in 1925 so I've thrown some less than successful slang in there.

INT. EVERGLEN RECORDING STUDIO - MIDDAY - 1925

KEEFE leans over the antique Vernon family heirloom piano where FITZROY (FITZ) is playing. The intro credit music stops as FITZ looks up at him. 

FITZ sighs. 

FITZ

Let me guess. You’ve been thinking.

KEEFE gasps overdramatically.

KEEFE 

(feigned surprise)

Why ever would I do such a thing? You 

know thinking can only lead to dangerous

outcomes. That being said, I did have a

thought. 

FITZ

Stars, why do I even bother anymore? 

KEEFE smiles annoyingly. 

KEEFE

Because I’m very difficult to get rid of.

(beat) 

I trust you know we’ve been looking for 

a new venue since Tam dusted out on us. 

FITZ 

And whose fault was that? 

KEEFE

Legally? Not mine. 

FITZ pinches the bridge of his nose. KEEFE is unbothered by this. 

KEEFE (CONT’D)

Anyway I was talking to Sophie—

FITZ

Anything that starts like that is certain 

to end badly. 

KEEFE

Fitzroy Avery Vacker, listen to me for a 

second for once in your life. Foster has a 

cousin whose family has a place we could 

use. It’s not the most ideal—

FITZ 

(interrupting)

Then why are we even going to bother with

considering it? 

KEEFE

The back corner of a coffee shop is 

better than nothing. Not all of us are 

lucky enough to leech off your parents.

FITZ pauses for a moment, considering making KEEFE verbalize why, exactly, he cut off his relationship with his parents. 

FITZ

I take it that means you’ve already booked

it.

KEEFE

It’s one gig. Do your best to tolerate it. 

KEEFE turns toward the back door. No one knows where he is going, probably including himself. 

FITZ

You know I won’t.

KEEFE

And you know I don’t care. 

The door closes behind him and FITZ cracks his knuckles before going back to playing the piano. 

INT. SLURPS AND BURPS - LATE EVENING/NIGHT

Slurps and Burps is a coffee shop during the day and a Speakeasy at night. People mill about, the space filled with chatter. 

BIANA is sitting at the counter, swinging her feet as she talks to SOPHIE, drinking what is likely spiked coffee. 

DEXTER (DEX) and FITZ are getting everything set up for the performance this evening. FITZ is trying to be helpful. DEX is left moving the piano mostly by himself. 

DEX

(breathing heavy, teasing)

My guy, did you fill this thing with rocks? 

FITZ

(indignant) 

No. It’s just built to last. 

DEX

(proud of his pun)

Well, it could certainly last through me 

driving a car into it. 

FITZ

Why would you ever find yourself in that 

situation? 

DEX shrugs. 

DEX

I don’t know. 

FITZ looks over at KEEFE, who is flirting with some random extra. 

DEX adjusts the piano into its final resting place. 

DEX

Can I get you anything? Java, tea, what 

have you. We’ve got everything.

DEX lowers his voice. 

DEX (CONT’D) 

A little bit of moonshine? It’s a family

recipe. 

FITZ

(low, dangerous)

You know, it’s probably not very good 

business practice to disclose that 

information to just anyone who walks in 

off the street. Somebody’s going to call

copper. 

DEX

(unconcerned, irritated)

You rat me out, you’re out of a job. 

FITZ snorts. 

FITZ 

I didn’t want this gig in the first place. 

FITZ raises his voice. 

FITZ (CONT’D)

Isn’t that right, Keefe? 

KEEFE

I got no context, so whatever makes him 

look the most like a sap is the one I 

want. 

KEEFE spends the rest of the conversation watching them. 

DEX

(voice low) 

Then why are you here? Why did you even 

bother?

FITZ leans against the piano, almost protectively, trying to make himself look relaxed. He is not. FITZ shrugs stiffly. 

FITZ

I had nothing better to do. Trust me. I 

tried. I really did. 

DEX

(maximum sarcasm) 

Wow, that must have been so difficult

for you. 

FITZ

Lay off it, alright? I’m here for Keefe, 

regardless of what you might want to think.

DEX

I want to believe you’re a sap, and you’re

not exactly giving me much evidence to the

contrary. 

DEX takes a sip out of some unspecified alcoholic beverage. This is a speakeasy, after all. 

FITZ

Oh, so you’ve talked to me for what? Five

minutes? And now you think you’re an 

expert in my every waking thought? Every 

detail of my inner psyche? 

DEX puts his hands up, defensive. 

DEX

I didn’t say that, Socrates. Watch your 

tongue the text time you try to blow 

things out of proportion.

FITZ

Like that isn’t blowing things even 

further out of proportion? 

DEX

If I remember correctly—and please 

correct me if I am wrong here—you were

the first to threaten me and my family, 

so I think that’s more than a fair 

trade from your perspective.

The lights flicker, signaling the start of the show. It is operated by DEX’S BROTHER #1.

DEX

Well. 

DEX presses his lips together. 

DEX (CONT’D)

(bitter)

I should tell you to have fun up there, 

but I don’t think you’re capable of

that. Break a leg and all that 

superstitious nonsense. 

DEX shifts to his customer service voice, laced with passive aggression. 

DEX (CONT’D)

Let me know if I can get you anything 

to make your time here slightly less 

inconvenient. 

FITZ turns away without a reply or a second thought. 

EXT. - HAVENFIELD - MIDDAY, FALL

SOPHIE and DEX are sitting under a Jacaranda tree, leaves beginning to fall but not completely bare. They are complaining about many things. FITZ is a large topic of discussion on this fine day, and also KEEFE and BIANA to a lesser extent. 

DEX

How do you put up with all of them on 

a daily basis? 

SOPHIE

Determination, resilience, a lack of 

other valid career paths, and a dash 

of—

SOPHIE wiggles her eyebrows. It is unclear which one she is wiggling her eyebrows about, but that ambiguity will be important. 

DEX sighs. 

DEX

Okay, like, on the one hand, I get what

you’re saying and, yeah, you’re 

absolutely right.

SOPHIE laughs. 

SOPHIE

That’s because I’m objectively correct.

DEX is too far in his own head to react to SOPHIE’s comment. 

DEX

But, like, how can you reconcile that 

with that personality? I don’t get it.

SOPHIE 

There’s nothing to get. Admire from a 

distance and your problems solve 

themselves. Easy. 

DEX pauses to consider this answer.

DEX

No. I don’t like that solution. Give me 

a better one. Replace the personality

itself. You went to college. You have a 

fancy degree in marketing or something. 

Figure it out. 

SOPHIE

Okay, first of all, that was several 

years ago and I haven’t used it since. 

DEX 

You have a photographic memory. Don’t 

try to pull that on me. 

SOPHIE doesn’t know how to reply to this for a beat. 

SOPHIE

(feigned anger)

Damn. How dare you know all my tricks? 

Anyway, I don’t think personality 

replacement was covered in my curriculum. 

Sorry. But do let me know if the store 

needs new customers. 

DEX

Some might argue there’s already too many

people. That doesn’t excuse the fact that

you’re supposed to know the answers to 

life, the universe, and everything. This

has been thoroughly established. 

SOPHIE

Well, I don’t. Sorry. 

DEX pauses for a long time, somewhere in the realm of several whole seconds. 

DEX

I just wish…things would be easier. 

SOPHIE smiles softly, encouragingly.

SOPHIE

On which front? 

DEX laughs bitterly. 

DEX

Yes. 

DEX pauses, debating with himself if he should elaborate.

DEX (CONT’D)

(frequent pauses, struggling with sentences)

It’s just that…Fitz is…tangling 

everything together. I used to be able

to go to work without getting trapped 

in my own mind. And, well, to be 

completely honest, I don’t much 

appreciate it. 

SOPHIE

You should go tell him that. 

DEX physically flinches away from this idea. 

DEX

I have an even better idea. How about 

you go tell your boyfriend Keefe? 

He’s the one that concocted this whole 

booking-Slurps-and-Burps-for-a-gig

disaster. He should be the one to unravel

this Gordian knot of a situation. 

SOPHIE

I’m not dealing with your problems. 

You can talk to Fitz yourself or you 

can deal with it. 

DEX

(Making himself sound useless on purpose)

But, alas, I’m incapable of speaking 

with people in rational terms. Whatever

am I to do? 

SOPHIE

(not buying into DEX’s act)

Don’t make me show you what irrational

terms sound like. 

DEX sighs, defeated. This is going to be unpleasant, but he’s already concocting the bribery he is going to offer KEEFE to make him want to relocate. Preferably without destroying his and SOPHIE’s relationship. 

DEX is also fairly easily convinced to do things he doesn’t want to do while also being immensely stubborn. 

DEX

Fine. 

EXT. RECORDING STUDIO - THE NEXT DAY, DAYLIGHT HOURS 

DEX walks up to the door and argues with himself in his mind before knocking. 

Inside, FITZ sighs and stops playing piano. As he stands, his joints sing the song of their people. Unlocking the door, he finds DEX studying the ground and fidgeting with his sleeve. 

FITZ 

Hello! What can I—

FITZ realizes who is standing in the doorway and drops the polite act. 

FITZ (CONT’D)

(flatly)

—What do you want?

DEX is irritated by this in an effort to not be thinking about how he is engaging in a conversation. 

DEX

Believe it or not, not everything is 

about you. I’m here to speak with 

Keefe.  

FITZ considers this, leaning against the doorframe. 

FITZ

Nah, I don’t believe that one. Besides, 

Keefe isn’t here. I don’t know where 

he is or when he’ll be back. Sorry. 

DEX feels a rush of relief, taking a deep breath. 

DEX

It’s probably futile to ask you to tell

him that I was looking for him, but I’m 

going to hope anyway. 

DEX turns around to leave. 

FITZ 

You’re exactly right. 

DEX

You don’t have to sound so disappointed. 

BIANA (O.S.)

(yelling to be heard from across the studio)

Fitzroy! Stop being so obnoxious! 

BIANA’s voice comes down from a yell to a normal speaking voice as the sentence goes on and she gets close enough to push FITZ out of the doorway and take his place. 

BIANA (CONT’D)

I’m sure Keefe will return sometime 

soon. 

FITZ

(muttering)

Lies. Filth and lies. 

BIANA 

(to FITZ)

He’s going to get hungry sooner or 

later. 

FITZ seems to accept this, rolling his eyes and wandering back to his precious piano.

BIANA

(to DEX)

Can I get you anything? Fitz has an

obsession with baking and we’re

always trying to get rid of the 

aftermath. 

DEX smiles awkwardly as he shakes his head. BIANA turns to not be outdoors anymore and DEX follows her inside. 

DEX

I mean, if you want to sell them at 

Slurps and Burps, I could always

ask my parents. 

DEX shrugs. 

DEX (CONT’D)

I’m sure they’d agree, but I’d rather 

present a possibility than a guarantee, 

you know. 

BIANA

You sound like him.

DEX and FITZ look equally offended by this and avoid eye contact at all costs. 

BIANA takes this opportunity to leave DEX and FITZ together for a length of time while she investigates this route. 

BIANA 

Well, I’ve got some extra time today, 

so I can go ask your parents myself. 

Don’t knock each other off while I’m 

gone, got it? 

FITZ and DEX watch her leave. This is the same door that KEEFE used in the first scene, not the front door. 

FITZ

(yelling after her)

How many times do I have to tell you to

stop meddling in my life?

FITZ huffs. 

DEX gets up to leave out of the front door that is still open. 

FITZ

(irritated and tired)

Where are you going now? 

DEX

…Leaving? 

FITZ

Well, don’t. Biana is going to think 

I’ve planted you in the backyard or

under the floorboards. 

DEX releases an exasperated sigh and sits down on a conveniently placed stool. 

FITZ (CONT’D)

Believe me, I wouldn’t say that unless 

it was absolutely necessary. 

DEX

(his temper finally snaps)

What is your problem, dude? You’ve been 

nothing but rude during the ten minutes

we’ve interacted. I understand if you

don’t like me. That’s understandable. 

But you’re like this toward everyone. I 

can also understand you didn’t want to 

do the gig for whatever reason, but 

instead of being like that about it, you

could’ve figured out a way to sit in 

time out until the last minute. It’s not 

that hard. There’s a very nice storage

closet where I’ve spent more hours than 

I’d like to admit hiding from people.

FITZ’s hands drop forcefully into his lap. 

FITZ

(equally angry)

Why should I explain myself to you? I 

couldn’t care less about what you 

think. I don’t know why you think I 

would. 

DEX

Oh, I don’t know, basic human decency?

I really don’t care if you disagree,

but I tried my best to be pleasant, 

and you made that very, very difficult. 

FITZ

That seems like a you problem. 

DEX

Well, I’m sorry you couldn’t tolerate

a single evening that wasn’t precisely 

what you wanted to do. That must have 

been so hard for you. It’s almost like 

I’m not trapped in that coffee shop 

every single day. 

FITZ

Again, that seems like a you problem. 

I don’t see why I should be concerned 

with a you problem. 

DEX

And I don’t see why I have to put up 

with your—

DEX gestures vaguely at FITZ, unable or unwilling to say what he’s thinking. 

FITZ

(challenging)

My what?

DEX

Your general existence. I don’t want to 

be here as much as you don’t want me to

be here. I would adore being able to 

leave you alone, but it looks like 

neither of us are going to get what we

want. 

FITZ

So you’ve made it your personal mission

to make yourself as infuriating as 

possible in the meantime? 

DEX

I guess so. You didn’t exactly make it

difficult for me. 

The sound of the back door opening stops FITZ from responding. KEEFE enters, mild surprise at seeing DEX but he also doesn’t care that much. 

KEEFE

Did you miss me? 

FITZ and DEX

(in approximate unison) 

No. 

FITZ and DEX look at each other—this is a pretty significant milestone in them agreeing on something. They laugh. 

INT. SLURPS AND BURPS - MIDMORNING

FITZ enters, the doorbell announcing his presence. He makes eye contact with DEX’S SISTER at the counter. 

DEX’S SISTER

Dex! Your friend is here!

DEX appears from the back, expecting SOPHIE or maybe even KEEFE. He has severe dark circles and is immediately irritated by FITZ’s presence. 

DEX’S SISTER trades places with him, though she will be listening to their whole conversation. 

DEX

What do you want this time? 

FITZ

I do believe you’re a tea shop when 

you’re not running from the police, and, 

as such, I’d like a small Earl Grey.

DEX gives him a look. The kind of staredown that requires invocation of the if-looks-could-kill meter. 

DEX takes some of the hot water from the coffee and unwraps a teabag, allowing it to start steeping. 

DEX

And you had to come here for that? 

FITZ

You’ve got the best tea in the shortest

distance from my apartment. 

DEX

You can make tea yourself, you know. 

FITZ

Yes, but, you see, then I have to 

Interact with Keefe. In that case, 

the amount I would spend in bribery is 

significantly greater than venturing 

out into the world. 

DEX

I can almost see that.

DEX hands FITZ the scalding mug of tea. FITZ touches it and flinches away. 

DEX (CONT’D)

Can I get anything else for you today?

FITZ

If you have a least favorite muffin, 

I’ll take one of those. 

DEX studies the muffins for a long second before choosing a victim. It is placed into a white paper bag that is slightly too small for both his hand and a muffin. 

DEX

That’ll be $1.05

FITZ takes out his wallet and slides over a $20. For reference, this is roughly $350 when adjusted for inflation. That is also why the price of a tea and muffin is scaled the way it is. 

DEX’s eyebrows react appropriately to the amount of money this is. 

DEX

(projecting calmness and irritation)

Singlehandedly paying for a week’s rent

isn’t going to make me like you. 

FITZ

Okay. That’s not going to stop me. Just

think of it like a starting point. A 

deposit in exchange for dealing with me

and my—

FITZ gestures vaguely at himself. 

DEX

I’m never going to live that one down, 

am I? 

FITZ

(almost, but not quite, playful)

Not if I have anything to do with it. 

DEX

Lovely. 

FITZ

Careful, I’m willing and able to have 

Keefe perpetuate it even further. 

DEX

I hope you know that my siblings have 

already added it to their very limited

vocabulary, so there’s really no need. 

DEX realizes this may result in additional perpetuity because it sounded like he was trying to make FITZ stop and that means he could take it as a challenge. 

DEX (CONT’D)

Although, I guess there is a constant

need to make me suffer as much as 

possible, so it’s really up to your

discretion. 

FITZ takes the tea, no longer giving him fourth degree burns, and his muffin. 

FITZ

Would you care to dine with me on 

this fine morning? 

DEX makes sure there aren’t too many customers, in case he would be needed to work. There are not. Most of their income comes in after sunset. 

DEX

(loud so his siblings can hear)

Yes, I would like to get paid to not

work. 

FITZ flashes a small smile that DEX does not see.

FITZ and DEX sit at a booth in the corner for minimum visibility. There aren’t many other people and if they get into another argument, they don’t want to be public entertainment. 

DEX

It really is remarkable how determined 

you are to both piss me off and remain

a patron here. 

FITZ

Well, I’m sure you could solve the 

latter fairly quickly. 

DEX gestures widely to the doorway to the kitchen, where his siblings are trying to not be caught eavesdropping. 

DEX

Behold. The reasons I am physically 

incapable of kicking you out. I do that, 

I’m never going to hear the end of it,

and that’ll get out to the rest of our

customers—because of course it will—and

then suddenly they start going down the

street for their mediocre morning coffee. 

FITZ

Well, I’m not a coffee person, so I can’t

review yours, but your Earl Grey is quite

nice. 

DEX lowers his voice conspiratorially. 

DEX

It’s even nicer with a little splash of 

something. If you get what I mean. 

FITZ

(voice low to match)

It’s not even noon yet. 

DEX

Then come back later. Time usually 

travels linearly in the forward 

direction, and then it’ll be after noon

and you’ll have to come up with a new

excuse. If that new excuse just so 

happens to be that it’s not five 

o’clock yet, wait until I tell you about 

what else time can do. It can travel

linearly. In the forward direction. 

DEX’S BROTHER #2 (O.S.)

And we don’t have a band tonight so then

maybe you’ll perform and Dex will be—

DEX turns and points at him. 

DEX

Don’t finish that sentence if you don’t 

want lead poisoning. 

FITZ smiles. 

FITZ

Allegedly. 

DEX

Allegedly. 

DEX turns back to FITZ. 

DEX (CONT’D)

You don’t have to if you don’t want to. 

FITZ

And that sounds like you’re trying to get

rid of me. I’ll see you tonight then. 

FITZ brightens his smile and leaves. DEX doesn’t take any opportunity to argue with him, despite the fact that he has more than enough time to react. 

When the door shuts, DEX releases a big sigh, deflating. 

INT. SLURPS AND BURPS - AROUND SUNDOWN

Slurps and Burps is once again filled with many patrons, and they are once again filling the room with chatter. The piano is already in place, as are BIANA’s saxophone and KEEFE’s drum kit.  

FITZ

(at KEEFE)

Stop looking at me like that. 

KEEFE

(feigned oblivious innocence)

Like what? 

FITZ

You know what you’re doing. Being all 

self-righteous. 

KEEFE

I don’t know what you’re talking about. 

FITZ cycles through a few arguments before deciding it isn’t worth it. 

FITZ

Forget it. We don’t have time to argue 

about this. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I 

do have a small change to the setlist. 

KEEFE

Shouldn’t that have been discussed 

previously? 

FITZ

It’s not like you would care either way.

What’s it you tell me? Fitzroy, it’s 

jazz, nobody cares about the setlist. 

Half of it is already improv. 

KEEFE

That might be accurate, but that doesn’t

mean I like it. 

FITZ turns away, grumbling to himself and searching the crowd for DEX. 

When he does eventually find him, FITZ smiles hesitantly. 

FITZ

So this might be an odd request, but 

please hear me out before you say no. 

DEX

(already irritated)

Go ahead. 

FITZ

(quickly, in a single breath)

I may or may not have a tendency to 

process things by writing songs, which 

I’m sure is a massive surprise 

considering why I’m here. I don’t 

remember exactly why I was talking to 

Sophie a couple of days ago, but that’s 

beside the point. Anyway, I happened to 

be blessed with the songwriting curse 

immediately after she left, and when I 

emerged from the cave, the song’s point

of view was a little wonky. And by that 

I mean, of course, that I tried to 

project into your head, which is really 

weird now that I’m saying it out loud. 

DEX

Calm down. I don’t need you passing out

on me. I don’t want to call Elwin. He’s

already mad at Sophie. I don’t need that. 

FITZ takes a deep, slightly shaky breath. 

FITZ

On a scale of 1 to 10, how likely would

it be that I could ask you really, 

really nicely to do the verse that’s 

attempting, probably very badly, to 

be in your point of view so that I 

don’t have to ask Keefe to do it? 

DEX

About a -7, presuming it’s a logarithmic

scale, but I’ll do it anyway. 

A pause. 

FITZ

Why? 

DEX

Don’t question my motives. Just be 

aware that I don’t know what I’m doing

and if I think about it too long, I’m 

going to go cry in the bathroom, so 

don’t let me think. 

FITZ

Got it. 

A longer pause, FITZ contemplates telling DEX something to help with the fact that his blood pressure is visibly rising. 

BIANA (O.S.)

Fitz! It’s nine. Get going. 

FITZ

(yelling over to BIANA)

Who is this punctual person and what 

have you done to my sister?

FITZ turns back to DEX and pulls a crunched piece of paper out of his pocket. 

FITZ (CONT’D) 

Here’s the lyrics. I didn’t have time to 

formalize any sheet music, but just kind 

of…vibe with the music. That’s kind of 

this whole genre’s mission statement, 

isn’t it? 

DEX

I am regretting my life choices. 

FITZ

I’m sorry to hear that. You’ll be fine, 

though. If not, I’ll bribe everyone with

muffins until the complaints stop. 

DEX

(physically shaking)

Okay. 

FITZ takes his place at the piano, making eye contact with KEEFE. 

FITZ

Trust me, okay?

KEEFE smirks. 

KEEFE

Yeah, of course. I’d let you lead us off

a cliff. 

FITZ

A wouldn’t expect anything less. 

FITZ begins playing an introduction, underscored by low rumblings from KEEFE’s floor tom after the first bar. FITZ’s focus remains squarely on KEEFE.  

FITZ (CONT’D)

(singing) 

HE LEANED OVER THE PIANO

WITH THAT MISCHIEVOUS GLINT IN HIS EYE. 

HE’S BEEN THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING

AND NOW THERE’S NO GOING BACK. 

The tempo ticks upward as KEEFE’s drums develop into a polyrhythm. FITZ leans back, his gaze landing on the ceiling. 

FITZ (CONT’D)

THE WORLD IS ALWAYS MOVING FORWARD

I’M HANGING ON TO WHAT I’VE ALWAYS KNOWN

WHAT I’VE KNOWN HAS GOTTEN ME THIS FAR

WHY BOTHER CHANGING THAT?

FITZ finally looks at DEX, his irritation over the past few days on full display in his tone. The instrumentation drops out for a beat. 

FITZ (CONT’D)

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO DIFFICULT WITH ME?

WHY DO YOU FIND SUCH PLEASURE ANGERING ME?

IF I COULD LEAVE, I PROMISE I WOULD, 

BUT I DON’T HAVE A WAY TO ESCAPE. 

I DON’T HAVE A WAY TO RUN AWAY FROM THIS PLACE

AND SO I’LL KEEP ON OCCUPYING YOUR SPACE. 

DEX’s voice is so soft even the people standing next to him probably cannot hear him. He’s staring firmly at the ground. It’s not exactly symmetrical in the vocals or instrumentation with the first verse, but there’s no need for it to be. 

DEX 

(singing) 

SHE’S ALWAYS MY WORST INFLUENCE

BY PUSHING ME OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE. 

IF ONLY SHE WOULD UNDERSTAND

I WANT TO FIND AN ESCAPE. 

DEX gains a bit more confidence, staring at FITZ’s shoes and singing slightly louder. 

DEX (CONT’D)

THE WORLD IS ALWAYS MOVING FORWARD, 

I’M STILL RUNNING FROM WHAT I’VE ALWAYS KNOWN. 

WHAT I’VE KNOWN HAS GOTTEN ME THIS FAR

WHAT MORE CAN LIE AHEAD? 

DEX fixes a death glare on FITZ. 

DEX (CONT’D)

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO DIFFICULT WITH ME? 

WHY DO YOU FIND SUCH PLEASURE ANGERING ME?

IF I COULD LEAVE, I PROMISE I WOULD, 

BUT I DON’T HAVE A WAY TO ESCAPE

I DON’T HAVE A WAY TO RUN AWAY FROM THIS PLACE

AND SO I’LL KEEP ON OCCUPYING YOUR SPACE. 

Two bars of SILENCE echo through the room. 

FITZ and DEX 

(start softly, crescendoing)

IF I STAY HERE AND YOU STAY THERE

I’LL STOP STEPPING ON YOUR TOES 

IF WE PRETEND LIKE NONE OF US CARE

MAYBE IT’LL COME TRUE. 

THAT DOESN’T MEAN THAT I’LL EVER LIKE YOU

AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO LIKE ME. 

PACIFY THE ELDER GODS 

AND THEN WE’LL BOTH BE—FREE. 

There is a long break, filled with instrumentation. BIANA and her saxophone have a whole narrative arc. DEX goes and runs off into the back, trying to never be seen again. 

FITZ

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO DIFFICULT WITH ME?

WHY DO YOU FIND SUCH PLEASURE ANGERING ME?

IF I COULD LEAVE, I PROMISE I WOULD, 

BUT I DON’T HAVE A WAY TO ESCAPE. 

I DON’T HAVE A WAY TO RUN AWAY FROM THIS PLACE

AND SO I’LL KEEP ON OCCUPYING YOUR SPACE. 

END SHOW

[touloserrrr]

Since I am totally very normal about Six… I have decided to overanalyse all the lyrics: No Way

N-n-n-n-n-n-no way

There's no way

Aragon refused to give up her place as the king’s wife and queen, and refused to accept Henry as the supreme head of the Church of England.

You must agree that, baby, in all the time I been by your side

Out of all the queens, Aragon has been married to Henry for the longest; approximately 24 years. Also, she chooses to refer to him as ‘baby’, further implying the fact she is refusing the annulment and acting like they remain married.

I've never lost control, no matter how many times I knew you lied

During his marriage to Aragon, Henry had 3 historically confirmed affairs, and potentially more. Despite this, she remained rather calm, which made her favoured by the public in contrast to Anne Boleyn, Henry’s next wife.

Have my golden rule

She was highly Catholic, so this is in reference to the Biblical golden rule “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. Additionally, the word ‘golden’ could be about her outfit, which is gold in order to represent royalty.

Gotta keep my cool, yeah, baby (you know she's gotta keep it cool)

And even though you've had your fun

Running around with some pretty young thing

This is in reference to the confirmed affairs - possibly specifically Anne Boleyn, as she was around 10 years younger than Henry.

And even though you've had one son

With someone who don't own a wedding ring

Although there was no heir from Aragon, Henry did have an illegitimate son with Elizabeth Blount; Henry Fitzroy.

No matter what I heard, I didn't say a word

No, baby (you know she never said a word)

I've put up with your sh- like every single day (whoa, whoa)

While the other queens often are censored by the rest of the queens, Aragon stops herself from cursing on her own. This could be because she is the most mature in character and holds high standards for herself, as she still sees herself as a queen.

But now it's time to shh, and listen when I say

Women were expected to be the ones having to listen during the Tudor times, so this shows Aragon’s confidence and how her character may break the patriarchal stereotype of a woman.

You must think that I'm crazy

You wanna replace me, baby there's

This is likely about Anne Boleyn, who took Aragon’s place as Henry’s wife and queen after her.

N-n-n-n-n-n-no way

If you think for a moment

I'd grant you annulment, just hold up, there's

Throughout the entire song Aragon is trying to discover a legitimate reason why she should be divorced from Henry (mainly near the end), but as there isn’t a clear answer other than his own selfish desires, she refuses to grant annulment.

N-n-n-n-n-n-no way

No way

No way

There's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way

No way

No way

There's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way

There's no way

So you read a bible verse that I'm cursed

'Cause I was your brother's wife

You say it's a pity 'cause quoting Leviticus

"I'll end up kidiless all my life"

When Henry did state a reason, the main one was based on a passage in Leviticus - and she was married to Henry’s brother, Arthur, before he passed away and she was sent to marry once more.

Well, daddy weren't you there, when I gave birth to Mary? (Oh, hi baby)

(Daughters are so easy to forget)

Aragon had 5 confirmed miscarriages, therefore the only child of hers that survived was Mary. However, Henry demanded a male heir to the throne, so the birth of a daughter was not important to him.

You're just so full of sh-, must think that I'm naive (whoa, whoa)

I won't back down won't shh, and no, I'll never leave

Even after her annulment, Aragon stated she was the rightful queen, therefore refusing to leave her title.

You must think that I'm crazy

You wanna replace me, baby, there's

N-n-n-n-n-n-no way

If you thought it'd be funny, to send me to a nunnery, honey, there's

During the divorce procedures, it was suggested she can go to a nunnery. This is viewed as a bad thing throughout the entire show until the very end, when it is revealed that this could’ve helped the character of Aragon with a career in singing.

No way

No way

No way

There's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way

No way

No way (no way)

There's n-n-n-n-n-n-no way

There's no way

Hey

Let's go

Here we go

You got me down on my knees

Please tell me what you think I've done wrong

Been humble, been loyal, I've tried to swallow my pride all along

During the Legatine Court, Aragon knelt in front of Henry to explain to him why she was a good wife. The most notable words she used were ‘humble’ and ‘loyal’.

If you can just explain a single thing

I've done to cause you pain, I'll go

No?

You've got nothing to say?

There is no evidence of Aragon doing anything wrong in her relationship (as nowadays we have better understanding that the miscarriages were not her own fault).

I'm not going away

There's no way

You must think that I'm crazy

You wanna replace me? Baby, there's

N-n-n-n-n-n-no way

You made me a wife, so I'll be queen 'til the end of my life

Even at her final moments, she still refused to give up her title as queen, even submitting a letter to Henry where she states to be his wife and queen.

N-n-n-n-n-n-no way

No way (no way)

No way

N-n-n-nup-na-nup-na-nup-na

No way

No way

There's

N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no way

There's no way

[redxluna]

kinda random, but I think I saw you reblog The Tudors show gifs before, so I'm kinda curious if you know how historically accurate is it?

Not random at all!

I will say, off the bat, that this website's recaps tends to blend in a measure of what the "real historical" was in comparison to what the show presents. Which is fair because the show absolutely invents its own cannon at times rather than sticking to historical accuracy. It works (most of the time!) but, for those who know, it's rather obvious.

In retrospect, I can honestly say this show served as my first, "Wait, you mean that's not how that went?" and why I try to approach correcting historical misconceptions with the same kindness that was once shown to me.

It's been awhile since I've watched the show in full, but the most glaring historical inaccuracies I can remember are...

The sisters of Henry VIII are combined into the singular, Margaret with Mary being written out entirely. She follows some of the original Mary's history through being married off to an aging king she clearly doesn't want only to wed Charles Brandon in secret when he dies. Except it's a King of Portugal rather than France. She dies within the first season and, oddly, the fourth season features Henry calling the Scottish king his nephew despite...no buildup to how that's possible? (Margaret is also depicted as having no children with Charles, despite their historical counterparts having four children. Charles gets depicted a lot nicer in places than his historical self too.)

Henry Fitzroy dies as a toddler rather than a teenager.

I will never, not once, be able to live down the mess that was made of George and Jane Boleyn. George is portrayed in a way I have to slap a trigger warning on as he's depicted as overly abusive to Jane for...no reason? There's a return of the heavily debunked "queer George" along with the ever questionable Jane the "shrew" of a wife who turned on her husband and sister-in-law.

The supposed connection that Anne Boleyn had with Thomas Wyatt is played to the hilt in that he's depicted as, not only a pining lover, but also in bed with her in one flashback.

The ill health of Henry VIII is still depicted a bit with his ulcerated leg, but it's rather infamous that the actor refused to be fat in the role so...you won't see any of that here.

Actually, I'm realizing how much I can go on here, so I'll link a fairly good breakdown here, so I don't get annoying!

[hello-jumping-in-puddles]

mid-year book freak out tag

tagged by @bloody-wonder, thank you!

1. Best Book You’ve Read So Far in 2023? 

Deathless by Catherynne M. Valente. i dont even know what to say. i want to sit raptly while someone smarter than me explains all the history and symbolism in this book that i missed. haunting.

2. Best Sequel You’ve Read So Far in 2023? 

partially just because i've read few sequels this year, The Golden Enclaves by Naomi Novik wins. I maintain that Orion is boring as hell after book 1 and I don't care about him but the rest of the book? Delicious. El is so snarky and dark. Ooooh im an evil witch princess im so scary my friends have to hold me back from committing evil (devotes her life to protecting other people) (refuses to live in an enclave because it feels like cheating) (shows up whenever people ask for help even if they suck). also the reveal with the mawmouths was just. such fucking 10/10 writing. the punch of understanding. the way the text gives the reader space to figure it out themself and just go HOLY SHIT.

3. New Release You Haven’t Read Yet, But Want To?

Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle. I have it downloaded. I am ready.

4. Most Anticipated Release For Second Half of 2023? 

I have no idea. I just find books when I find them, y'know?

5. Biggest Disappointment?

ironically, the sequel to question 6, The Return of Fitzroy Angursell by Victoria Goddard. after a book which is about a guy whose whole thing is "really good civil servant" this book was just...not what i wanted. it was about a classic singing robin hood style hero who is charming and cool and magical and does adventures and maybe otherwise i would have enjoyed it but how can i read a book set in the world of my favourite bureaucrat Kip and not read about bureaucracy??? only book so far this year i just straight up didnt finish. also, you can only tell the same vague story about how kip made a joke that one time without actually telling the joke before it stops being "backstory" and starts being "the author never actually figured out what the joke was".

6. Biggest Surprise?

The Hands of the Emperor by Victoria Goddard. absolutely bizarre book. there is no real plot other than the emperor preparing for retirement. the first three hundred pages the emperor just. goes on vacation?? i was expecting political intrigue but the political intrigue is 90% just "the rich guys dont like it but our guy, Kip the bureaucrat, is the emperors specialist guy and also extremely stubborn so everyone has to go alone with UBI". the biggest conflict is literally just interpersonal miscommunication but good. i was so hooked it was ridiculous. where did the heterosexuality come from i am perplexed

7. Favorite New Author?

i was about to say catherynne m valente but i actually cant claim that because now i looked her up and ive read other work by her! she did The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making and sequels which were extremely delightful also. so this one goes to Victoria Goddard on the basis of i have apparently read a lot of authors i already know this year

8. Newest Favorite Character?

Cliopher (Kip) Mdang my beloved

9. Newest Fictional Crush?

¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

💕Best Ship💕

¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

okay i guess maybe kip + the emperor? or maybe el + liesel because i was surprisingly a big fan of liesel by the end. though maybe thats just me wanted el to be with someone more interesting than orion.

10. Book That Made You Cry?

i can't actually remember if i cried but Driftwood by Marie Brennan was quite haunting and beautiful and bittersweet

11. Book That Made You Happy? 

Tress of the Emerald Sea by Brandon Sanderson. now, all brandon sandersons are at least 30% power of friendship by weight but i really do appreciate that this one was like "yeah no we're saying that part out loud. people are heros because they love their friends anything else is just set dressing"

12. Favorite Book Adaptation You Saw This Year?

i...dont think ive watched any book adaptations this year

13. Favorite Review You’ve Written This Year?

don't write 'em, so n/a

14. Most Beautiful Cover?

im going to say Deathless tho i think i am biased because the book hypnotised me

15. What Books Do You Need To Read By The End of The Year?

so many. Ancillary Justice. I also really should read Nona the Ninth but book 2 was so...eugh. i ravenously devoured a bunch of Pratchett's last month and i am waiting on several more from the library. apparently theres a new murderbot out soon? i should check that out.

tagging @a-fish-bee, @foxsoulcourt if you want to do this one :)

[fabricated-misslieness]

pairing: fuse x male reader

req: no | wc: 1k (on the dot)

summary: “I’m taken.” “By who?” -his bf

warnings: suggestive, very. two dirty jokes

a/n: wallusy

Wally’s fanmail was always the same. There was the expected: admiration for his ability in battle and the fantastic, somewhat someway somehow artistic scenes he created with his ring of fire and explosions, and confessions of love.

They were sweet and all, albeit filled with way too much wishful thinking. Usually they came with a gift, though, so at the very least he was more than grateful.

He opens the first one of the day, he could tell with the little heart stamp on the envelope, and reads the first line out loud just like the rest of them, “Dear Fuse, I just gotta say I am in love with you.” He laughs, then speaks apologetically as though they’d be able to hear him, “Sorry, dear. I’m taken.”

“By who?”

Wally stares up from the envelope, confused look on his pretty face, furrowed eyebrows and all the shabang. “I’m sorry, what?”

You stare up from your book, an amused look on your face. “Did you hear me correctly?”

“Yeah, yeah, just-” Then he realizes it. You were only having a bit of fun. “oh.”

You laugh as he clears his throat. “Right, well. I am taken by a wonderful man. My boyfriend, he’s the best I could ask for.”

“Really?” You ask nonchalantly, taking a sip from your cup.

“Fair dinkum. Do you want to know more?” He shrugs. “I mean, I’d gloat about him all day if I could, but I dunno if you’re willin’ to lend a stranger an ear just to talk about their boyfriend.” 

“Yeah, tell me more.” You snicker, “Perhaps I know him.”

“Yeah, preferably.” You sit up in your high chair by the kitchen, as if you’re beginning to pay more attention.

“Eh, dunno if you know the guy, he hardly comes out during the daytime. You’d think he’s a vampire o’ something.” You stick your tongue out at him but he decides to ignore it. “Are you sure you only want me to sing his praises? I can say other things, too.”

“Well, he’s a good man. Greatest man I know. He’s kind, very. Treats me well.”

“How well?”

“So well.”

He stands from his seat on the couch and makes his way to you, slowly, very slowly. “He’s smart, too. Awfully smart. Makes me feel like an idiot in comparison, frankly.” 

“Don’t put yourself down just to uplift someone else, dear.”

“You’re right.” He shakes his head at himself, “Okay, then. Puts in the hard yakka on everything he does. And then there’s his looks.”

You laugh at his face as he says that. He looks like he’s in a trance as he’s thinking about it. “Mesmerizing, is he?”

“Yeah. Like,” He stops in front of you, leaning against the counter, “one of those crystal balls at the fortune teller’s in festivals.”

“Reckon those aren’t the only balls that mesmerize you.”

He snorts, loud, and almost breaks character for a second. “Yeah, I reckon. You little ripper.” He mutters to himself. 

“Anyway, he’s uh, got eyes more beautiful than anything you’d see.”

“Mhm?” He hooks a finger in your belt loops, an act he pulls off like it’s nothing but one that definitely doesn’t go unnoticed either.

“Hair styled perfectly.” 

“Yeah?” With the belt loops, he pulls you off your seat and closer. Closer to him.

“Yeah.” He breathes out, finally feeling you against him. “Yeah. It’s amazing hair, really. I don’t think I’ll be able to achieve something like it with my aging hairline.”

You snicker, “Well I think you pull off your haircut well, considering what you’ve got.”

“Do I?” He asks, eyes trailing down your face.

“You do.”

He switches his fingers on your belt loops, from index to middle, and pulls his finger through up to the first knuckle against the loop. He’s got his hands around either side of your hips, now, and with that, he pulls you impossibly closer.

“What else?”

“Oh… lips softer than a baby’s bum.”

He pulls you forward again, as if tugging, with his hands; clearly frustrated when he realizes it fails to pull your upper half towards him.

“Weird comparison, mister..?”

“Walter, Wally, Fuse. Whatever you want to call me.” He replies breathlessly.

“Do you want to kiss me, mister Fuse?”

His tongue darts out between his lips, wetting them with saliva as if making them more presentable to you. “Yeah.” He admits. “I do, a lot.”

You lean in, finally, to satisfy him. “Let me tell you about my boyfriend.”

He loves the way those words slip out your mouth, especially after kissing you. ‘My boyfriend’, like he was yours, like he belonged to you.

“He’s got the brightest smile I’ve ever seen and eyes a warm, sweetly chocolate brown. He’s kind, very kind, and,” Wally doesn’t resist pulling a kiss from your lips, but even then you continue like nothing. “a brilliant man. He’s a fighter, he is; could fight for anything and get it.”

Wally practically purrs as you trace a finger up his side. “Fought for me, even, and got me. Impossibly stubborn, can’t take ‘no’ for an answer, but I like that about him.”

“Do you? Like that about people?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Then I suppose you would like it if I asked for a kiss, then wouldn’t take your refusal for an answer?”

“I suppose so. But,” You chuckle, “I don’t think my boyfriend would like that.”

Wally laughs, too, and steals a sweet kiss from your lips. “On the contrary, actually, he really liked that.”

Your finger continues up his side, up his shoulder and slightly ticklish neck, until it reaches his cheek. Then, you cup it with your hand. “Did he, now?”

“Very.” His grin widens. “I think you can tell, can’t you? Feel a little something in the ol’ daks?”

You laugh, out loud, finally breaking character at his derpy oggling eyes and stupid words. “You bogan!”

Wally laughs, “Can’t help it when you’re so clearly tryna get me all riled up.”

[georgiapeach30513]

You Were the One, Part 4

Summary:  this was a DISASTER

Pairings:  Court Gentry X Reader, Lloyd Hansen X Reader

Rating:  mild

Warnings:  language, 18+ ONLY

Word Cout:  2.7K

Previous

Series Masterlist

*divider created by @firefly-graphics​

“Agent, I want you,” Fitzroy turns his head to look at you, “and I’m going against my better judgment here, and going to pair you with Lloyd.”

“Are you serious?” Court asks loudly.

“Not that I’m complaining or anything.”

“I’m sure you’re not. Fitzroy, when you said we were on a mission together, I assumed that it was all of us together. Is she going out on the mission?” Lloyd gives him an eye roll looking over the paperwork, before he’s up looking at you. “Is she staying on a base or going in a mission or not?”

“I am,” you almost growl at him, and Lloyd gives you slight head shake. “How dangerous is it?”

“It’s the Russian mafia,” Lloyd’s eyes never leave you. “While, I don’t mind a bit of extra hands on a mission, I’m going to say I think you would be better suited guiding us,” when you turn to glare at him, he whispers out a pitiful please. “Hey, I’m just saying, I know how to listen to the person that’s in my ear. I can take orders. It seems that Six is the one that can’t take orders.”

“I’m the senior agent, I don’t fucking take orders.”

“You do if they’re trying to keep your ass from getting shot.”

Court walks closer up to Lloyd, while Fitzroy, just gives up. Sitting at the table while he watches children squabble. “My ass won’t get shot. I have great instinct.”

“Shut up! The both of you are acting like three-year-olds. I’ll go on this mission, I’ll stay on base, and you Court, will listen to me. You blow our cover because you can’t navigate some place that’s on you. I can’t help if you don’t listen. That’s all I want you to do is listen when I tell you something. I’m going to get geared up, and we’re leaving. You two figure out who is lead.”

Lloyd softens his stance as soon as you leave, giving a smirk to Court, “I’ll let you take lead, since clearly, you think you can control your future wife. When she talks, try listening. It might get you ahead in your relationship.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“She’s been trying to fucking tell you something for weeks, but you never listen. Your problem in your relationship at home is the same problem at work. Shut up and open your ears. She wants to guide you to it. It’s not that hard, I’m sure even a senior agent such as yourself can take guidance.”

Court’s eyes drift over to Fitzroy quickly before back at Lloyd, “One mission and you think you know her?”

“Three years together, and you still don’t. I’m going to gear up. Put your plan together with Fitzroy, and you can tell me and my partner when you’re ready,” Court lets out an animalistic growl, and Lloyd gives him that signature smirk, knowing he got under his skin. “I’m sorry. Your fiancé. You sure do like showing who owns her. But do you really?”

He jogs off and Court flops down in a chair opposite of Fitzroy. His eyes blank as he tries and thinks of what exactly you could have wanted to tell him. “I told you not to mix business with pleasure.”

“I couldn’t stay way from her.”

“And now you just can’t stay,” Court finally looks up at him. Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out a pack of bubblegum and pops it into his mouth. “You wanna plan or get this conversation over with?”

“You paired them together.”

“You pushed her away, and Lloyd asked for her. There’s a difference. Why are you letting him get under your skin.”

“He asked her to stay out of the action, and she agreed,” he shrugs his shoulders at Court. Sighing when Court doesn’t continue. “I asked her to stay behind the scenes with him, and she refused to listen.”

“You’re supposed to trust your partner. Her and Lloyd’s reports were concise. It was a quick mission, and she somehow kept him on a leash. No torture. Let me ask you, why would Lloyd be all happy about her being on a mission with him, but wants her to be hands off? And lets out an air of relief when she agrees to it?”

“Because I’m there,” Fitzroy shakes his head, whispering out a no. “What then?”

“What is she trying to tell you?”

“The only thing she even talks about is our future. If we’re going to have kids or…what?” Court slaps at the table. “What?”

“You really don’t listen. Let’s plan, and you can figure it out later.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“And that,” Fitzroy slides over the mission details to Court, “Is why you’re a better agent than fiancé.”

Lloyd jogs behind you, catching up quickly. Calling your name softly, but you don’t answer. Continuing your stride, but he pulls at your arm, and you slap at his hand. “What do you want?”

“You haven’t told him,” no question. Lloyd knows you haven’t told him.

“Of course I didn’t tell him. I wouldn’t even be going on this mission if I told him. And now you’re telling me what I can and can not do, just like him.”

“I’m telling you what you should do. Do you really need to be on a mission in your condition?”

With a huff, you remove his hand off of you, going to pack your computers. “You should really talk to him.”

“No, he doesn’t want a family.”

“Don’t think he has a choice anymore,” you continue trying to ignore him. “Don’t throw yourself into a mission because you don’t care what happens. He wants and deserves honestly.”

“And you,” you spin around to look at him. Your eyes pleading for him to keep this secret a bit longer, “Don’t act like you know me, or my relationship.”

“I know you’re terrified. I can see it in your eyes. Conversations such as children should be discussed well before getting engaged. But having unprotected sex, is both or your faults.”

“Shut up.”

“I mean, if you wanted to have unprotected sex with…”

“Don’t finish that sentence.”

“You still know what I mean. So I’ve put the thought in your mind. Try to think about that while Court snores beside you.”

You walk over towards him, your eyes looking directly into his. Your hand reaching towards him, until you reach around him, gathering a phone behind him, “And you can think about the way I feel laying next to him.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be thinking about how you would feel next me. And you can’t deny you wondered the same.”

“You’ll never know.”

“You don’t have to tell, I see it in your eyes. You’ve thought about it.”

You stop your movements, annoyed that in such a short time, he has this ability to get to you. Get under your skin and make you feel things. Things that you should be feeling with Court, but it’s just anger. “In all seriousness, please, just stay in the room, and let me and Court be in the field. I’ll listen to you, I just can’t protect you out there.”

“Fine. Don’t ask me to do this again.”

“Six,” you speak into his coms, getting a quick grunt from him. “I’m trying to watch your ass over here. Just take a left at the end of the tunnel.”

“If he doesn’t want his ass watched, you are more than welcome to watch mine. Honey, where do I need to…”

“Would you just shut up. So much noise on here.”

“Don’t you dare!” an interference in the sound and you know he’s messing with his earpiece. “Six! Court!! Goddamit!”

“Hey hey, honey, forget him. Watch my ass, where do I need to go?” Lloyd cuts through when you lose all contact with Court. “I know you hear me. I’ve got a cute ass that I don’t want to get shot, please, where do I go?”

“Right,” you grunt. Strapping yourself up.

“What’re you doing?” you silence your end of the coms, but that doesn’t stop Lloyd. “Do not blow this mission because he can’t listen. I cant watch your ass and mine. That’s your job. I need you to stay focused. Do not come into this mission agent. You’re leaving us blind.”

“Some of us have chosen to make us blind, so I’m going in for backup.”

“No no no no,” he chants, as you leave your post. A remote device on your wrist so you can still see everything. “Honey, do not put you and the baby at risk. Get the fuck out of here,” you hear gun shots in the distance, and it’s not through your earpiece, and start to panic. “That is an order. If he wants to get himself killed, that’s on him. I need you to trust me. Agent!” Lloyd shouts, and you can see him changing his course to get to you. “Fucking women. You hate when Six doesn’t listen, but then you’re not listening to me.”

“What do you want?” you ask, coming up behind him.

“Why are you out here? You were perfectly safe in your remote honey pot. I need to know you’re safe. I haven’t ever met anyone that puts up with me as long as you have.”

“And you’re talking about a baby over the line. I told you that in confidence.”

“And I told you to be honest with your fiancé. He deserves to know. You’re jeopardizing your relationship and this ops. What are you doing?” he steps away from you when you grab at your stomach, grimacing a bit at some minor pain. “Stress. Do you know what’s not good for a baby? Stress.”

“I’m fine. Let’s find Six,” spinning around, you attempt to walk away, but he places a heavy hand on your shoulder.

“That’s not how this works. We finish the mission. Six is a big boy, and he chose to go off coms. He’s on his own. Now you stepped into my territory, and you will listen to me. This is the way we go.”

You know he’s right. You have to push aside the fear you have for Court completely isolated and alone. Not knowing the damage he could be causing to himself or the mission because he chose to go off coms.

Letting out a huff, you trust and follow Lloyd. It worked out last time. And now you have to trust him.

Fitzroy throws a bunch of paperwork at the three of you, letting the papers get all mixed and jumbled up, his cold eyes on you, and you feel as if you’re a child being reprimanded by your principal. But this isn’t school. This is the real world, with real consequences. The three of you a bit beaten and battered, and none worse than Court.

“This was fucking ridiculous. A shit show of the highest proportion, and I had to listen to the coms transcripts. Six, you and agent twelve, will no longer work together. I have stripped away your right to do so because you both put too many in danger, including each other. Court, you didn’t want her in your ear. You got it. You wanted Court to listen, and now he won’t. Do you realize if it wasn’t for Lloyd she could have died? Jumped in the line of fire to save her ass.”

“It would have been an okay shot. She could have survived,” Court whispers out, and you’re numb. Unbelieving in how he dealt with you almost being shot.

“You need to listen to the transcripts. You,” he points directly at you. “Your partner is Lloyd indefinitely, but you’re benched. No longer will you be out on the field. You can go on location, but you better stay behind the scenes, have I made myself clear?” without looking you give him a nod. “You two are dismissed. I still need to speak to Court.”

Walking out with Lloyd, you run your hand up Court’s arm, waiting for him to look up at you for a kiss. Letting you know everything was okay, and you’ll see him at home. You never do. He never comments, before you just walk out.

“What the hell is your problem? She’s fully capable. Look at you, going into a mission blind.”

“You did that on purpose. You sent us together, so you could prove how we don’t communicate.”

“You don’t. I didn’t need to prove that to you. Do you even know why Lloyd didn’t want her to be out in the open? Why he jumped in front of her?” Court leans back in his chair, blowing the biggest bubble that he can. “You’re such an idiot. I had an inkling of what she had been keeping from you, but he confirmed it.”

“What? What is it my fiancé is keeping from me? Her and Lloyd have sex on their mission?”

“She’s pregnant, you jackass,” Court’s body freezes, and he stares blankly at his boss. “I’m assuming she said something to Lloyd on their mission. Funny how she can tell him, and not the baby’s father. That should have been you jumping in front of her.”

“She…she can’t be,” Court tries to think back on the time that it could have happened. When you could have possibly gotten pregnant. And then, he remembers.

Remembers coming home to you, and you had looked so pretty greeting him as he walked through the door. There was something that ignited in him. One single moment that he couldn’t ever remember being that happy.

Thinking to himself how pretty you would look with his child. How this coming home felt so normal, but he’d never be rewarded with that life. Was always going to be indebted to people that wanted to exploit his abilities.

“It typically takes more than once,” he whispers. How could one time of weakness result in a baby?

“Correction, it only takes one time to stick. You’d make a good father.”

“I don’t know how to be a father. And I’m a nobody. Literally.”

“So what would you have her do? These are conversations for her. Not me. Go home.”

“Ah,” Lloyd yelps, as you change his dressing. He had been too scared to, and it was time. “That stings.”

“Oh, hush you big baby. A big man like you, scared of a wittle bit of pain.”

“This is a lotta bit of pain. Ow! That hurts.”

“Finished,” you smile pulling his shirt down. You stare into his eyes a moment, before having to look at your lap, “Thanks, but you didn’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, I did. You shouldn’t have been out in the mission. You were supposed to stay in the little honey pot. I’d do it again, even if this hurts like hell.”

He places a finger under your chin, forcing him to up at him, and you see him give you a genuine smile. “I want to protect you, too.”

“Why? Why am I special?”

“Because, you see past my asshole like qualities. You do more than tolerate me. And you are pregnant. You haven’t made a decision on what you want to do about it, so you’re just pregnant. You became more important to me in that moment, than myself.”

Court clears his throat, saying your name, when you finally look at him. Giving a quick bye to Lloyd when you walk alongside Court silently.

Even the ride home, silent and chilly. Court’s eyes only on the road, while his jaw pulses. There’s nothing more to say. Nothing to do, but wait. You know the state he found you and Lloyd was a bit intimate. His hand touching you, while you both longed for something more than you had allowed. You made a commitment to Court, and that’s what you were going to do.

“Were you gonna tell me, or wait until it was obvious you were pregnant?”

“I tried. You said you didn’t want kids.”

“And yet you’re still pregnant. Is it even fucking mine?”

You laugh sarcastically, looking out at the window, because you can’t even bare to look at him right now. “You not answering, isn’t making me feel good.”

“Who’s baby is it supposed to be, Court?” you see your home pull into view, and you open the glovebox, handing over an ultrasound photo. “I’m twelve weeks. I didn’t even know Lloyd then. At least, that’s who I’m guessing you’re insinuating. Two can play this game. You think I’ve been fucking Lloyd, fine. You fucking Nat or Dani? Because you’ve been on a lot more missions with them, and we do a don’t ask don’t tell when you come home. I didn’t get that same treatment though, did I? I have only been with you for the past three years. Do no come into the room tonight.”

Standing up out of the car, you slam the door shut, hoping that Court will follow you. He doesn’t. Wishing that he demanded that the two of you talk, but he doesn’t. He stares at the ultrasound photos a moment, before backing up and driving somewhere else. You had even thought, he might come into the bedroom later, but he doesn’t even come home. And this was the beginning of the end.

Next

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @pono-pura-vida @peaches1958 @bookwormchick91 @whimsyplaty92 @bambamwolf87​ @curlycarley​ @infatuatedjanes​ @8oopsiedaisy8​ @spider-thot0115​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @tryingtosurvivestuff​ @sstan-hoe​ @xcaptain-winterx​ @buckysteveloki-me​ 

[transformersweatpants]

Hello and welcome to the extremely niche au I have crafted in which I designed what the taz Grad characters would be like if they were Stardew Valley npcs and also I should mention this is like honestly just for @mcnuggyy and mcnuggyy alone

-Firbolg lives in the secret woods with the trash bear.

-First heart event: enter the secret woods anytime between 12pm and 8pm. He is sitting on the forest floor with a baby unicorn in his lap. He explains the unicorn refuses to eat. You are given the option to offer advice on how to approach the situation: “Be gentle” (+50 heart points) or “Tough love always works” (-50 heart points) either way the cutscene ends with him comforting the unicorn calmly.

-His second heart event is you suggesting him a name to call him, and the suggested options include: Bud, Master Firbolg, Fitzroy, & Dr mushrooms.

-When you give him a loved gift he says “dis. is wery good” and when you give him a hated gift he’ll respond with “dis.. is a great shame.”

-Argo lives under the docks of the Tide Pool area of the beach, find him there any day where it is raining and click on the little basket on the docs, where you’ll find a small earring. As you inspect it, he’ll emerge from the water and exclaim that he’d been looking for that damn thing for forever!

-When you give him a loved gift he says “This is wonderful!! Thank you _, you’re a real me-hearty *wink*” and when gifted a hated object he says “I ah. I don’t know how I feel about this.”

-Fitzroy joins the Valley winter 1st in a cutscene initiated by you entering the bus stop at any time of the day. He explains that he moved here from some place you couldn’t possibly have heard of, and says he has nowhere to stay. You are given the option to offer him a cabin on your farm. If you do, a cabin will be built overnight and he will move in the next day. Most of his dialogue at the first few hearts is him complaining about the amount of dust and bugs on the farm.

-When gifted a loved item he’ll respond with “A gift! For me? Forgive me but.. it’s not a skull is it?” And when gifted either maple syrup or crab cakes he’ll respond with “What kind of cruel joke is this?”

-When you’ve gained three or more hearts with Fitzroy, you’ll occasionally get a letter in the mail containing a crab with the note “Snippers had a son. I can’t care for two.”

[squishmallow36]

Keeper of the Lost Prepositions - Forty-six

Word count: 2.6k

Tw: Dex blaming himself for the events of the previous chapter

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @gaslight-gaetkeep-gayboss @kamikothe1and0lny @nyxpixels @florida-fruity-frog @poppinspop @crystallinewalker @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @books-over-boys @rusted-phone-calls @when-wax-wings-melt @cotyledon-tomentosa @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @stuff-is-way

On Ao3 or below the cut!

    Standing a few metres away from home, I try to find the courage to cross to the front door. 

    Fitz whispers, “If you want, I can tell them.”

    I shake my head.

    “No.” It’s my fault.

    “It’s my fault for hiding Keefe.”

    “Well, Lovise getting hurt is mine, so don’t even try to play that card.”

    “Fine then. You tell your parents about that. But I have to tell them about their store.”

    “You shouldn’t have to do that.”

    “It’s my fault Gisela did what she did.”

    “She’d have--,” I pause, realizing the futility of my argument. “Honestly, I should just give up trying to debate against you.”

    Thanks to Wonderboy, I’m hyper aware that how I say ‘against’ is another one of my little things I pronounce oddly.

    He shrugs. “I already have.”

    I untangle my fingers from his, and take a deep breath, attempting to find whatever bravery I have.

    Slowly unlocking the door, I call, “Mom? I’ve got some news concerning the Neverseen.”

    I am aware it’s too formal, Fitzroy, before you even start.

    “One sec…” Mom replies from the living room. “Okay? What’s up?”

    I see Lex, running and yelling at the top of his lungs, and Mom notices my hesitation. 

    Apparently Fitz does too, as he supplies, with no apparent regard for the triplets hearing things, “I’m not going to beat around the bush here. The Neverseen destroyed the store.”

    I look at him, not sure how he just strung that sentence together.

    Mom’s reaction is less intense than I’d have expected. “Well. You’re not playing a prank on me, right?”

    I just now realize, “I should’ve taken pictures.”

    “Pictures wouldn’t do it justice,” Fitz says, “But I’ll stay here and watch the triplets if you and Kesler want to go visit with Dex.”

    “I’ll stay here,” I argue. 

    “No, you won’t,” he replies.

    I refuse to look at him, because I know for a fact that I’d be much more persuaded by his argument if I did.

    Mom goes to Dad’s office here, and I somehow register with a start that I should thank my lucky stars that Dad or anyone else weren’t at the store when it went down.

    Together, we leap to Mysterium, and both Mom and Dad’s initial reaction to seeing it involves a lot of swear words. 

    And you know it has to be bad because the triplets can destroy almost everything and they can still bleep it out at the very least. 

    “You okay?” Mom asks, ruffling my hair.

    Not really, but it’s fine. “Yeah.”

    Dad’s reaction is much more like my own would be. “It looks like there was an explosion that radiated out from here,” he says, pointing at a corner. 

    “I know it was somewhere more toward the back, so most, if not all, of our inventory is in a toxic soup back there.”

    “So maybe you don’t touch it then. Either of you,” Mom suggests. 

    “Yeah. There was something on fire near the caesium, because it turned violet for a little while.”

    “I’m just glad you and Fitz weren’t hurt.” Mom gives me a one armed hug, pressing me into her side for just a moment. It’d have been nice if I wasn’t taller than her. I don’t want to be tall because tall means adult and adult means responsibility. 

     Don’t argue with my logic. I know it’s irrational.

    “Lovise wasn’t quite so lucky. She’s fine, before you ask. Elwin said she’s just got a couple of bruises and scratches.”

   Mom says, completely deadpan, “You had to involve Elwin.”

    “Fitz texted him.”

    “Ah yes. Throw him under the bus.”

    Meanwhile, Dad’s train of thought has driven off its tracks as mine so often does, murmuring to himself, “Why would they have done this? You stay at home, and they know you’re part of the collective, so it can’t be against you personally...right?”

    I also talk to myself quite often, so I reply, “It’s probably mostly shock value. Although I’d argue how much of a shock they can cause after so many different demonstrations of their ability to strike anywhere at any time. Gisela also wants to know where Keefe is, so she must’ve had this set up in case we didn’t give him to her.”

    “How many times do we have to say that we can’t control him as much as she can’t?” Mom wonders.

    “You can’t reason with unreasonable people, Jules.”

    “You don’t have to remind me.”

    We stand there in silence for the next few minutes. It feels like hours. 

    I know they’re just trying to be strong, and pretend that everything’s fine. I think I am too, a little bit. 

    I can’t help myself from trying to figure out a simple solution of how to fix all of this, even though I know you can’t magically bring a building back up from the ground and pretend like it never went down. 

    Mom breaks the silence by saying, “I think I should go save Fitz.”

    “I’ll come with you. Unless you still need me here.”

    Dad replies, “No. I should go hail Uncle Grady or Aunt Edaline to borrow a few gnomes to help with the cleanup and then start on the plans of Slurps and Burps take two. Maybe finding a less flammable material would be a good place to start.”

    “Everything’s flammable if you try hard enough.”

    “I believe I was the one who taught you that.” 

    “Just checking. Gotta make sure you remember.”

    With that, we leap home, and I grab Fitz before leaping to the Healing Centre to visit Lovise. 

    And maybe him, if the triplets broke him. Just kidding. Mostly. 

    When I see her, I say, creatively, “Hey.”

    “I didn’t know I was allowed visitors yet.”

    Elwin notices me and starts preparing for the worst. Like I’m the usual bringer of destruction. Although I guess that has been my pattern recently. 

    “Don’t worry, Elwin. I’m just here to check on your patient.”

    “She is my patient no longer. She’s going to escape soon enough so I’m going to release her into your care. Just try not to get into too much more trouble today or tomorrow.”

    Fitz snorts lightly. “Like that’ll happen.”

    I take a second to consider the thought that decided to reveal itself.

    “I don’t know if this counts, but I do have a bit of a request. Just because I can’t exactly do it myself.”

    “What now?” Elwin sighs. 

    I give him a crumpled piece of paper with my calculations from earlier, complete with hand dragging across paper pencil smudges and all. 

    “Sorry about my handwriting, but I was thinking this could be a Keefe solution. You know, the next time he pops up out of nowhere.”

    He takes a few seconds before suggesting, “How about this? I can’t read this and I know how finicky alchemy is, so you can borrow my lab if you want.” 

    “Really?” I ask, knowing full well that I wouldn’t let others get their grubby little paws on mine. 

    “Yeah. Just make sure I have all of your ingredients before you start. I don’t know if I’ll have everything.”

    “Thanks,” I say, already beginning to search his beautifully maintained shelves of ingredients. 

    I see a nearly empty bottle of Cwiofyr, a rare mineral made from lightning striking lava that happens to be highly explosive, and mutter, “Easiest way to destroy a ceiling.”

    That greatly distresses Fitz.

    I get a decent amount down my list, and I can’t seem to find the mancas, which is the active ingredient. 

    “Elwin, do you know off the top of your head if you have mancas?”

    “Considering I’ve never heard of it, I’d say probably not. I’m going to regret this, but we’ve got a storeroom for all of the alchemy sessions here.”

    I smile. “Yes, yes you are.”

    Once you let me in there, you’re going to have to drag me back out whether you like it or not. 

    We get there, and I’d like to make a clarification. I’m never leaving because I’m never going to find anything in this place. 

    I mean, there’s only four rows of shelves, with actual chemicals being on opposite ends. Organic chemicals might be on the left side, but, at the same time, it could also be household products, while the right has your classic chemicals. 

    And there is no way I can understand how anyone can find anything here, apart from memorizing the shelves, on purpose or by accident. 

    I have to search slowly, vial of chemical by vial of chemical. There’s one just labelled, “Poison,” which would be descriptive if half the stuff in here couldn’t kill you. Easily. 

    Fitz, however, finds the mancas with zero difficulty. 

    How did you do that? 

    I take it and add it to a small tray so I can carry things back with me. Figuring it’d be easier to not bounce back and forth from the Healing Centre, I ask Fitz, “Can you find the forswigian? A one-tenth molar solution, if possible.”

    “I don’t know what that means but I’ll try.”

    It’s a mere few seconds before he asks, “Is this it?” 

    And it is. Down to the molarity, which wasn’t his doing but I still choose to be irritated. 

    I decide that I’m not going to find anything, and he seems to have a gift for this for some unknown reason. I find some space on my scratch paper and write down a list of everything I still need before giving it to him. 

    Two minutes. That’s how long it takes him to find a half dozen ingredients. 

    In this mess. 

    “Here you go,” he says, shifting around bottles in the tray to make space for the hlosian.

    “How do you do this?” I have to ask. 

    He shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s not that hard.”

    A wave of anger surfaces from his total apathy, because for some magical reason he can find his way around this place without any trouble. 

    Or maybe it’s because he hasn’t been conditioned with my Dad’s organization system.

    Nah. It’s magic.

    “You don’t understand how messed up the organization system here is.”

    “Oh. Okay...”

    “I’m going to make you find things if we have to do this again in the future. You don’t get a choice,” I snap.

    “Not that bad of a punishment.”

    Honestly, it’s more of a punishment for me. I get to stand here, useless, while he does stuff I should be able to do. 

    I turn and walk back to the Healing Centre without another word. 

    It’s definitely fun trying to balance a dozen bottles in a tiny tray without letting them make too much noise because glass clinking against glass is loud. 

    For the next hour or two-ish, my brain melts out of my ears, trying to take extra caution to not break anything of Elwin’s.

    It doesn’t help that Fitz is watching the entire time. Distracting me, per usual. 

    And there’s no nice way to tell him to go away and let me focus. 

    Finally, cringing as I wait to see if the mixture reacts negatively to the forswigian, I announce, tentatively, “It hasn’t exploded, so I think we’re good. Probably. Maybe.”

    Clearly concerned about something, Fitz says, “Cool…”

    “And it hasn’t melted through the glass, which is a major bonus.”

    “That’s a bonus? Were you going to give it to Keefe if it did?”

    “There’s more things at the store that are perfectly safe to consume, assuming you take the proper amounts, but that’s how everything works. Even water. Don’t drink several litres in a short amount of time. It won’t be pretty. Like a third of the store is in clear plastic or something similar because they enjoy burning through glass.”

    “Is this one of those?”

    “Nah. That’s how you tell you did it just wrong enough to not blow a hole in the roof. At least in its normal concentration.”

     “Alchemy safety standards are...very interesting.” 

    Even I can hear the sarcasm in that sentence. So you know it’s piled on thick.

    “Yeah, well, you’ve been saved by alchemy more than once. So shut up.”

    “Fair point,” he concedes. 

    A few seconds pass before I figure, “We should leave Elwin to let him do whatever he wants. You know, since I’m done and I have no clue why you’re still here.”

    He shrugs, mouth forming a word before I get a telepathic message. 

    Am I not allowed to watch my boyfriend work?

    I flush bright red on instinct, trying to piece myself back together.

    “Elwin,” my voice cracks, although I’m not sure if this is because I can’t function or because it hates me. “Thanks again for letting me work here. We’re going to get going now, if you don’t mind getting rid of us. Bye!”

    Voice slightly muffled by a closed office door, Elwin calls, “See you later!”

    Fitz and I both walk backwards out the door, waving, even though he isn’t looking. 

    Slowly, we start to make our way down to the Leapmaster, mostly because we, or at least, I don’t want to go home quite yet. 

    The door swings shut, and Fitz asks, “You okay? But don’t just say yes because that’s how your brain was programmed.”

    “You okay?”

    “I mean, now, I’m worried about how you just blatantly dodged my question, but overall, not terrible.”

    “What do you want me to say, then?”

    “Maybe I want you to acknowledge that you’ve thrown yourself into this project for the past few hours to distract yourself from actually thinking about things. I can tell.”

    “Fitzy, that’s just how I process things.”

    He raises his eyebrows. “Ignoring them until you don’t have to deal with them anymore?”

    Suddenly defensive, I ask, “Remind me. Who made you a psychologist?”

    He sighs, lacing his fingers with mine. “That doesn’t mean I can’t worry about my--about you.”

    He should really know by now to not let my imagination run wild like this. 

    With what was he going to end that sentence? Was he going to call me his boyfriend again? Was it just the fact that there could maybe be someone listening? Or something else?

    Did I do something to make him backtrack? 

    “And I’m trying to tell you that you don’t have to worry.”

    “You say that like I can stop voluntarily. It doesn’t work like that. I’ve lived with my Dad and his ‘no reason to worry’ crap for my entire life. I would know.”

    “And you say all of that like I’m not in the exact same boat. Godzilla was the one that threatened you.”

    “We already dealt with that. Earlier today.”

    “I refuse to believe that you’ve completely processed that.”

    “This is entirely off topic but you should add the way you say process to your list.”

    “I don’t have a list!”

    He gives me a look.

    “At least in the physical realm.”

    “Knew it. But the whole Godzilla thing is a conversation for another time. Because I don’t think we can loiter here too much longer.”

    Standing under the Leapmaster, I say, “I guess it is. But that doesn’t mean you’re getting out of it. See you tomorrow?”

    “If not sooner.”

    Fitz leans over, leaving the lightest brush of his lips against my cheek. 

    Unsurprisingly, my brain short circuits once again, and while I’m trying to fix it, he leaps away, smirking. 

    Although I may have imagined it.

    I have to take a good thirty seconds before I stop feeling like I’ve just had to do a presentation for Elvin history with a half-finished slide deck because I forgot what day it was. 

    I’d rather not fade away because I was too gay to function. 

    When I do get home, I smile, knowing that everything’s back to how it should be. 

    By which I mean lots of screaming and an immortal ice yeti that for some stars forsaken reason won’t get shattered into a million pieces.

[himboarcher]

reasons i've seen folks say that grad critics hate grad:

they hate travis (in fairness, i’ve def seen some comments of people shitting on trav for the sake of shitting on trav, but it’s not super common and typically gets downvoted into oblivion on reddit.)

it's not balance / travis isn't griffin (???????)

they hate neurodivergent people (again, in fairness, i have seen a handful of comments that could come across this way! but most of the time when travis being ADHD or his NPD is brought up, it's by defenders saying that criticizing travis is ableist because he's neurodivergent or, in one particular comment, infantilizing him bc of it and literally comparing grad to putting a kid's artwork on the fridge. there were some comments early on that pointed to him being a narcissist as the reason for things people disliked about grad, but everyone seems to have realized that that's a shitty train of thought and left it behind.)

they're just toxic haters (again, there are a small handful of people like this because this is the internet, but the genuine criticism greatly outweighs their bullshit. i 100% think that the people, which is mostly just one dude who is also insufferable on reddit, who have been responding rudely to positive tweets under the episode announcements lately are out of line and need to stop. there's been an influx of that lately, presumably because people are frustrated that after over a year of grad going on, there's been no improvement to most of the major issues. that's still no excuse to be a dick to folks, though.)

vs some of the actual reasons i don't like grad:

the racism / racist tropes, and the way that they’ve straight up ignored this criticism and will likely never acknowledge it. pretty wild considering a core tenet of their brand is their willingness to acknowledge when they’ve messed up and do their best to course correct.

clumsy attempts at inclusion that are shallow and often end up being fairly offensive ("...ask me about my wheelchair," anyone?)

on a related note: i don't think that travis had bad intentions, but as an nonbinary person, it feels othering to me that travis only has enby characters give others their pronouns unprompted. i'm thinking specifically of kai here. having listened to their introduction, i don't think it's as bad or awkward as some people have said, but i can't remember travis ever having another NPC tell the PCs their pronouns, especially not a cis character. it's not a huge deal, but it's something that rubbed me the wrong way. admittedly, i don't think it would bother me so much if travis hadn't dropped the ball so much with performative inclusion in the past.

okay i'm putting the rest under a read more because even without getting into all of the problems i have with it, this got Long.

little to no player agency. player choices are ultimately meaningless and have little to no effect on the world. even when he seems to go along with a plan they come up with, it always ends with them having to go back to travis' pre-written script (see: subpoenaing the xorn, but not really because they had to go with travis' original plan of "send the xorn home through the rift".) the players repeatedly get told things about what they think or feel or what they've been doing to an unnecessary degree. fitzroy is the only one who really gets space to play and decide things for himself, and that's only because travis has decided he's the main character.

the NPCs are all too nice and willing to give the PCs anything they ask for and more, unless the PCs are trying to follow their own plan and then the NPCs are completely useless. but honestly, aside from gray, all of the NPCs are just.... nice. travis refuses to even let his antagonists be mean or cruel or even more than just slightly rude, because that'd be a bummer and we don't want that! the "twist" of gordy the lich king actually being polite and chill is not a twist at all because everyone is like that in this world. the NPCs are also wildly overpowered, but then suddenly absolutely useless when the PCs actually want their help.

too many cliffhangers that are dropped immediately at the beginning of the next episode. i feel bad for travis because so many of these cliffhangers actually set up good momentum and seemed like things were gonna get interesting, but almost every single time he just dropped them at the beginning of the next episode. like when althea showed up to interview the boys and the next episode started with travis being like "actually you went to sleep, she said she'll be back tomorrow!"

that time travis specifically said in his exposition dump that the thundermen left their horses behind because they thought the centaurs might be offended by them riding horses, only to later on rag on them for being surprised that the centaurs had horses they could ride.....

also the centaur arc in general, but i already listed racism above, so.

the way that the toxic positivity and parasocial tendencies in the mcelroy fandoms have made a large portion of the fandom take ANY criticism as a personal attack on travis and/or on themselves for enjoying something others consider bad, either morally or just quality-wise. it’s okay to admit that something you like has problematic elements or just isn’t as good as it once was. you can and should engage critically with the media you consume.

related to above: the way travis has handled genuine criticism, which is to throw public tantrums on his twitter or make weird passive aggressive tweets & ultimately ignore all the genuine criticism and advice he's been offered by claiming it's all subjective, even after he specifically asked for it and set up an email for folks to send in genuine, objective advice for him (after he threw a tantrum on twitter and replied to someone's criticism publicly, which resulted in his followers dogpiling on that person bc how dare they insult their internet best friend). while i was writing this last night, he actually announced that he’s taking a break from Twitter and acknowledged that he’s been using it as an echo chamber where he can easily get validation from folks, and honestly i’m happy for him that he’s recognized this problem and is stepping away for a while! i hope he’ll genuinely use this time to reflect on how he’s been behaving and find a more healthy way to use social media. i’m leaving this point in because i think his Twitter being such a positive echo chamber was encouraging him to do stuff like this, and him somewhat acknowledging his behavior doesn’t mean it can no longer be discussed.

rainer. extremely cool concept in theory and i was very into it until that awkward "does anyone want to ask about my wheelchair?" moment. also when travis had her use her mobility aid to RAM INTO A DOOR instead of just fucking knocking???? also all the times travis has tried to force a romantic relationship between her and fitzroy, despite fitzroy displaying no interest in her in that way. also, just to clarify: as an ace person, i don’t think this is aphobic! (and it’s kind of a stretch to call it that imo, especially since griffin never explicitly said that fitzroy's aromantic!) i just think it’s weird and awkward and a little uncomfortable for me personally, mostly because it reminds me of the times i’ve been in similar situations.

less of a problem than a lot of the other stuff and more just bad writing, but the forced emotional moments. in general, nothing in grad feels earned (why are the boys heading a war? when they have multiple actual heroes with combat experience on their side and a supposedly powerful secret organization? and the thundermen are like 21 years old max and have only had like ~10 fights in the entire campaign?) but there've been a couple times where travis has tried to force unearned emotional moments, presumably because he knows people enjoyed those with the last campaigns. but the difference is that in balance, the big emotional moments happened because they were earned. in grad, it's just travis throwing a baby pegasus at us for a few minutes and then the next time she shows up, it's supposed to be a tearful goodbye.

there are absolutely no stakes. remember when the thundermen got told that if they left, gray would kill 10 students? and then they left and came back and it turns out that what gray actually meant was, "i'll tie ten students who are mostly nameless NPCs to a tree and throw some dogs at them that you can easily stop in time, then throw a tantrum because how dare you but i'll leave before you can really do anything to hurt me lol" travis did have fitzroy's magic get taken away, but like. it didn't really do anything? also all he had to get it back was be coerced into using drugs by an authority figure and trip in the woods?

we're told that the school is weird and the hero system is corrupt, but the world of nua is still presented as more of a liberal utopia than anything? althea getting fired because of a corrupt villain is the only time we've somewhat seen corruption, but even then, she was still allowed to get (what seems to me, anyway, but admittedly i don't know for sure bc nothing about the HOG makes much sense) a fairly important job from the very people who stripped her of her hero license or whatever the fuck heroes need?

travis doesn't actually seem to understand how capitalism or bureaucracy works and just chalks up everything to "red tape." also more on the rest of the boys than him specifically, but the "let's destroy capitalism!" thing turning into just pushing some filing cabinets over................... okay.

and one last piece of extremely subjective criticism: it's just kind of.... boring. i think a lot of people, myself included, would be willing to overlook 90% of the problems with graduation if it didn't feel like such a slog to get through.

also people saying that we can't or shouldn't criticize graduation because it's "free" is absolutely absurd for several reasons. first, something being free does not make it above criticism. second, there ARE people who directly financially support the show with monthly donations. three, there's a difference between something being free and something being not for profit. podcasting is their full time job. they make their living off of money made from TAZ and MBMBAM (and probably their other shows to a lesser extent). this not a fun home game that they are graciously recording and sharing with us. it is a product they are producing that they make money off of, both from ads in the episodes and merch & books based off of these podcasts. they have marketed themselves as professionals, and both griffin and travis have been on panels where they are marketed as professional DMs and appear alongside other professional DMs (which makes it incredibly frustrating when people say that travis is just a newbie DM and we can't criticize him because of that. if he's a newbie, then he should not be taking part of panels as a professional DM where he speaks as an expert). TAZ is free in the same way that an episode of NCIS is free. i may not pay for it directly, but the creators are paid to create it and profit off of me consuming this product. so saying we should be grateful for any mcelnoise that the benevolent good boys share with us and that we're not allowed to criticize it "because it's free" is absolutely wild.

[lolapetticrewed]

Witnessing a lot of misinformation about Bessie Blount as a result of TSP and it’s irking me SO bad, so let me state a few things:

- We do not know when Bessie was born.

- We have no way of knowing when she and Henry commenced their relationship, or at what age she was. Elizabeth Norton claims about 14 but I disagree with this for multiple reasons. Henry himself later refused a prospective bride of fourteen because he said she was too young, and he was the grandson of Margaret Beaufort, a notorious child bride.

- Henry did not use and discard Bessie once she fell pregnant with Henry Fitzroy. In fact, there’s a great likelihood he begot another child, a daughter this time, off of her shortly after their son was born. Norton was the one to put this theory forward and made a convincing argument. People teased Henry about how often he would go see Bessie in the countryside.

Furthermore, Henry continued to keep on good terms with Bessie as long as he lived and made gifts to her.

I also am not completely onboard with how everyone is claiming Bessie was a victim of Henry and that she was forced into his bed. It’s a tired argument usually aimed toward Mary and Anne Boleyn. If we’re going to say this, we need to apply it to all royal mistresses. There was a definite power imbalance there, but that doesn’t mean every mistress was forced into engaging with a monarch?

[alinaastarkov]

There's a dilemma that you Dany morons don't think about. If Dany is going to be seen as an heir she needs Dorne's support because they have gender equality. Without it Dany is behind Aegon, son of Rhaegar and Stannis, great-grandson of Aegon V. And after that there's even the chance of Robert's bastards being legitimized so she's behind Mya Stone, Bella, Gendry and Edric Storm. Dany has nothing without Dorne. But you idiots can't even acknowledge that she fucked up majorly with Quentyn Martell.

Right, you asked for a history lesson so you’re gonna get it.

George R. R. Martin has based ASoIaF on a lot of things, but it’s fair to say he has been most heavily influenced by British/ English history. The laws in Westeros are very similar to medieval England, the geography is similar, the Dance of the Dragons is literally The Anarchy (the war of succession between Empress Matilda and King Stephen), the main conflict is based on the Wars of the Roses, etc. 

Succession laws in Westeros are one of the things he took from English history, besides Dorne. The main part of this was something called male primogeniture, which he has copied into the series pretty much unchanged. Male primogeniture meant a female member of the dynasty (or, more specifically a dynast’s daughter, i.e. the daughter of the ruling monarch/ head of the family) only inherited if she had no living brothers and her brothers had no living children themselves. After that, older siblings come before younger siblings, etc. Dorne practices absolute primogeniture, where the eldest child of the dynast will inherit, no matter what gender, and they will always come before younger siblings/ anyone from extended branches of the family.

Having educated you on that fact, let’s educate you on your Stannis/ Baratheon claim which is honestly the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. No one has brought this up before cause it’s really that fucking stupid. Stannis has a claim because of Robert, but you, sir, decided to base this on Targaryen lineage, the ruling dynasty for 300 years, so let’s go. 

Obviously the daughter of the dynast (Aerys) comes before the great-grandson of the king from 50 years ago. Stannis is at least 3 generations removed from any claim to a Targaryen throne. Even in male primogeniture, the daughter of the dynast will always come before cousins/ uncles/ nephews/ any extended family. It’s why Matilda fought for her claim against her cousin, it’s why Mary I became Queen over Jane Grey and other male relatives, why Elizabeth became Queen over Philip II and Mary Queen of Scots and a bunch of male relatives, it’s why Mary II and Queen Anne both ruled, it’s why William of Orange only became King with the express permission of Anne herself who was the rightful heir. I could go on. I don’t know where this idea that Stannis has a better claim comes from cause it makes no sense. Female or not the child of the ruling monarch comes before extended family. Always. That extended family may contest it because they’re misogynists, but that doesn’t actually weaken the claim itself.

The same goes for Robert’s bastards but even more so as they are illegitimate, meaning they technically have no claim to anything at all until someone legitimises them. And by someone, I mean the monarch. Tommen will never do that and I don’t see any reason why any other claimants would either, unless it’s to put someone in charge of Storm’s End. To use another example, this is why Henry Fitzroy was never considered as a future king even as Henry VIII struggled endlessly for a son and both his daughters’ legitimacy was called into question. He was a bastard. End of story. They have less of a claim than Stannis, and Stannis has basically none. Besides, to make a claim to the throne that is weaker, you need a strong army. Robert’s bastards have none, Stannis is losing more of his every day, meanwhile Dany has the strongest army in the series. She has the strongest claim and the power to back it up.

Now, onto Aegon. Going off the law I’ve just explained, Aegon would come before Dany. There are a few problems in universe, however. For a start, Aegon is likely an imposter, and so would have no claim. See Lambert Simnel and Perkin Warbeck as good examples of this sort of thing. The second is that Aerys (likely) disinherited Rhaegar and his children, passing over him in favour of Viserys as his heir.

When Prince Rhaegar and his new wife chose to take up residence on Dragonstone instead of the Red Keep, rumors flew thick and fast across the Seven Kingdoms. Some claimed that the crown prince was planning to depose his father and seize the Iron Throne for himself, whilst others said that King Aerys meant to disinherit Rhaegar and name Viserys heir in his place. Nor did the birth of King Aerys's first grandchild, a girl named Rhaenys, born on Dragonstone in 280 AC, do aught to reconcile father and son. When Prince Rhaegar returned to the Red Keep to present his daughter to his own mother and father, Queen Rhaella embraced the babe warmly, but King Aerys refused to touch or hold the child and complained that she "smells Dornish." - TWOIAF

Had any whiff of proof come into their hands to show that Prince Rhaegar was conspiring against his father, King Aerys's loyalists would most certainly have used it to bring about the prince's downfall. Indeed, certain of the king's men had even gone so far as to suggest that Aerys should disinherit his "disloyal" son, and name his younger brother heir to the Iron Throne in his stead. Prince Viserys was but seven years of age, and his eventual ascension would certainly mean a regency, wherein they themselves would rule as regents. - TWOIAF

Birds flew and couriers raced to bear word of the victory at the Ruby Ford. When the news reached the Red Keep, it was said that Aerys cursed the Dornish, certain that Lewyn had betrayed Rhaegar. He sent his pregnant queen, Rhaella, and his younger son and new heir, Viserys, away to Dragonstone, but Princess Elia was forced to remain in King's Landing with Rhaegar's children as a hostage against Dorne. - TWOIAF

The last passage is especially damning. If it was simply that Rhaegar died, his children would be next in line to the throne over his brother, as I have explained. But Viserys is clearly stated as Aerys’ “new heir”, meaning he passed over Aegon and Rhaenys, deposing them to put Viserys as next in line. Before anyone says this can’t be done/ doesn’t count, it does. Henry VIII deposed both Mary and Elizabeth after removing their mothers and it was completely valid/ recognised. It’s why people called them both “bastards” throughout their lives. He also had to undo that decree before he died, meaning they were both able to rule after Edward. If Henry himself hadn’t undone it, they never would have ruled. So, Aegon’s status as disinherited will stand, even if he is really Rhaegar’s son. Aegon now has an army, meaning he can back up his weak claim, but so does Dany. And the army doesn’t mean his claim is better, either.

Dany doesn’t need Dorne for her claim, only for extra support when backing up her very valid claim to the throne. As I have just explained to you, Dany is currently the person with the best claim to the throne who is not currently sitting on it. Besides, she didn’t “fuck up” anything with Quentyn. She accepted him into her court graciously and did all she could to keep his support, foster a relationship with him and Doran/ Dorne by extension, shy of calling of her own engagement which would have meant the deaths of all her people. Everything Quentyn did after that was because he wrongly felt he was letting his father down and was his own mistake entirely. None of it is on her.

In summary, Dany has the best claim and the power to back it up, Aegon (might) have second best claim (though it’s highly unlikely, in fact pretty much impossible as he was disinherited) with slightly less power to back it up and Stannis has one of the worst claims without the power to back it up. Hope you enjoyed your history lesson! Read the books next time and you could avoid embarrassing moments like this 😬🤗