#i remember listening to this band two years ago like. okay. well meaning but cringe. however now my opinion is forever changed by ONE film | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yandere-society · 5 years

Note

maybe a one shot with Taehyung getting jealous to the point of hurting another BTS member? Preferably x reader.

Devil’s Fair Share

By: @roses-ruby

Word Count: 14,423

Warnings: Cursing, Smut, Yandere, Unprotected sex, Oral (F receiving), Spanking, Possessiveness, Possessive talk, Violence

A/N: Guess who it is:D aha! I’m back at it again with this fuckery. I hope this is what you wanted anon, It’s my first time posting on this account so I hope I didn’t mess anything up! This is longer than I expected but well :) what can you expect from me. Edited but…I’m dumb so there might be mistakes. Okay, luvs. Enjoy!

Taehyung hated you for many reasons.

He hated that you were a busybody, always trying to get into everyone’s business with a help everyone mentality painted across your forehead. He hated how much time you took to tell a single story. Going on and on about God knows what. And he absolutely despised how much you hung out with them – or rather him on an average basis.

Which is why he was practically sneering at you from his table, as he watched you chatting in line while waiting to pay your bill.

Just because he was staring at you, didn’t mean he didn’t notice some of Jungkook’s sneaky fingers making their way for his fries.

“Cut it out, Jeon.” He scowled when the tip of the younger’s index touched a particularly long fry which was sticking out of the basket.

Jungkook retracted his hand like he was burned and let out a sigh, “There’s like a thousand in there! And you didn’t even eat them. Why’re you so mean?”

It’s not that he didn’t want to consume them, it’s just that he lost his appetite after seeing your face appear from behind him when he entered the Deli on the bottom floor of their BigHit. He didn’t even want the sack of frozen stale fried potatoes, deciding to quietly munch on his small sandwich throughout lunch instead. But whatever the case – they were still his fries. Taehyung ignored the pouting of the man child sitting next to him to zero in on you who was laughing at something he said while slightly touching his arm. Yuck, what an ugly laugh.

“Just leave it, when has he ever shared anything of his?” Yoongi soft voice scolded the younger who was ogling the basket with his lips caught between his bunny teeth, “Besides you ate two large Hawaiian burgers, how could you still be hungry?”

Jungkook squinted his eyes at the rapper, telling him to be quiet as he once again snuck his hand over the table. However, he doesn’t get very far before Taehyung smacks his hand away with more force than needed.

“Didn’t I tell you to cut it out?” He raises his voice, turning his head to face the oversized hooded menace. Everyone’s head turns their way, as Jungkook shifts – slightly taken aback at the fury in Taehyung’s eyes. Soon his own anger flares up and he glares at the older, “Fine, keep your stupid fries and choke, Hyung.”

Standing up, he marches away from the table and heads into the parking lot to blow off some steam. Yoongi groans, reluctantly getting up to follow and comfort the youngest while rolling his eyes. When Taehyung’s face lands back on you, he catches you – the whole place rather – gaping at him with a mix of confusion and concern. Namjoon was raising a brow at him, a sort ‘the hell did you do’ indication on his face. He mutters under his breath, no longer comfortable in the suddenly threatening atmosphere. Which leads him to straighten up and wander off behind the other two.

Leaving the basket of fries rotting on the table.

See, this is why Taehyung hated you. Because he didn’t understand why you had to make a beeline straight for Namjoon’s room when they reached the sanctity of their dorms. You were shy, Hoseok had told him, you didn’t know the others well. Unlike Namjoon, who you had grown up with. Taehyung would just growl at the redhead in return, firmly telling him that he wasn’t interested in knowing anything about you.

What gave Hoseok the right to think he knows you so well, anyway?

If he reflects about it, Taehyung’s not sure when it first was that he began detesting you. You appeared collectively in their life a few years ago, a nervous young girl who had just moved into the city after her enrollment in Seoul University. Namjoon introduced you to the group with a dimpled smile, as you hid shyly behind his length and peered off his shoulder. As far as he recalls, you are a fan of the band – even had Jimin’s photocard placed inside your phone case. Usually, all the members are protective of who they invite into their home, refusing to let anyone they found problematic into their small circle. It stemmed from company policy as well as a couple of dirty leaks in their entourage of managers and stylists – exchanging information with sasaengs for a few quick bucks.

Needless to say, they were wary of the public in general. Too much time and effort had gone into their dreams of becoming singers for them to let something as small as visiting a bar ruin it. They promised one another to stay far away from anything scandalous. Which ranged from clubs to casual hook-ups. He knows most of the guys have broken the latter rule though, including himself. But they never let any fling become too close, never let any promiscuous desire tarnish their image.

However, Namjoon swore up and down on your character. “She won’t bother you guys! She’ll just hang out with me sometimes.”

And back then, he could stand you. Thought of your innocent doe eyes and somber behavior as adorable even! Yet as time passed on, your caution to avoid everyone who wasn’t Namjoon and commitment on keeping the rest of the members at a surface-level basis infuriated him. Did you think of yourself that high and mighty, that no one but Namjoon was worthy of your time? Fuck off.

“Shit!”

He shouts in his deep baritone as he’s once again defeated by Jin in the lousy racing game they chose to pass the time by. The window-wiping laughter of the elder makes him slump further into the couch wanting to be swallowed whole.

“That’s the third win!” Jin cheers, chugging on his beer in victory. Taehyung just laughs at the childish antics of the elder, his face turning red the more shit-faced he became. Through his own puffy eyes, he watches the TV screen replay Jin’s victory and groans when his stomach growls, having been more than a few hours since he last ate. With all his previous adrenaline absent, he decides to get up, stretching his sleeping tendons and scratching the itch on his ass.

“I’m gonna get something to eat. You want something?” He asks Jin, who is swinging both his leg and controller of the end of the couch while acting dead.

“There’s still the extra Jajangmyeon Jungkook ordered in the fridge.” Jin replies nonchalantly, resting his sore body on the cushions. Practice was especially hard today.

Taehyung nods, more to himself and saunters his way over to the kitchen across the hall. This dorm of theirs was rather spacious compared to the one they started out with.

He remembers it quite well, the shared mess of a bedroom and cramped bathroom. The mildly yellow walls and unembellished closets. It was in those times where the members were the closest, a silent joint empathy amongst all of them. Him and Namjoon shared an unbreakable bond. Taehyung was a country boy, fresh off the farm when he first joined the dorm. He cringes as he thinks about how awkward he was, the village-like simplicity of his fashion and the heavy accent he endowed for the first few months. Everyone had trouble understanding him, thinking he was the strangest thing after ET. Everyone except Namjoon.

Maybe it was because the boy boasted such a high I.Q. or maybe kindness was just second nature to the much taller man, all Taehyung knew was that he was eternally grateful to him.

Where areas some of the other members would write off his behavior as a passive eccentric trait, Namjoon carefully listened to him. He would try to see his point of view and never made Taehyung feel like he was weird for his thoughts and efforts. Taehyung in return respected Namjoon and his vision – which is why he was fine with distributing a room with him and only him.

Even if he was a bit clumsy sometimes.

Nonetheless, the days where they were inseparable roommates have long gone, now each member held their own room and their own hefty possessions. Sometimes he misses the simpler days, but he mostly liked this scenario as well. He was never a man who enjoyed sharing.

When Taehyung steps into the kitchen, he heads straight for the fridge. Immediately he spots the Jajangmyeon Jin mentioned and takes out the large bowl covered with a thin film of plastic wrap. Taking off the plastic, he slides his way to the microwave and stuffs the dish in there to warm up. He begins whistling the tune of the newest song they were recording, taking out a pair of black chopsticks from their cutlery drawer. Soon the microwave beeps, and he takes the Jajangmyeon out, smelling the heated pieces of pork ready to be devoured. His mouth waters as he began to sift the noodles and sauce together.

As he’s stretching the noodles apart, the sound of soft steps on the foyer make their way to his ear. He turns his head, to find your slightly startled figure staring at him in surprise.

“Hi.” He says with his eyebrows raised

“Hey.” You reply awkwardly, shifting on your feet and playing with your sweater paws

“Are you hungry?”

“Um, no I just wanted some water-” You stop that sentence when a ‘way too loud for the otherwise silent kitchen’ rumble rips its way from your stomach.

Taehyung lets out a snort, chuckling afterward as your cheeks dust themselves red and you wrap your arms around your abdominal in scrutiny. He looks at the steaming bowl in front of him, his right hand in midair of stretching the noodles, then looks back at you.

“This bowl is too large for just me. Wanna share?”

“O-Oh no!” You put up your arms in front of you, “I don’t want to both-“

“Get over here.”

“Yes, okay.” Dropping your hands, you meekly make your way over to Taehyung who gets a second pair of chopsticks from the drawer and hands it to you with a wink.

You watch as he immediately digs into the noodles with a big bite as you hesitate to touch the dish at all. He glances at you in confusion when he notices you’re not eating, and you accidentally let out a laugh. His cheeks were stuffed squishy with Jajangmyeon and there were stains of black bean sauce all over his mouth.

He looked like a tiny baby bear.

“Y-you ha-have,” You stutter between giggles and point at his face. But when he continues to cluelessly munch on his food you gently move your thumb to the corner of his lips, wiping off some of the sauce.

He doesn’t move an inch, just feeling the sensation of your finger and immediacy giving him goosebumps. Once you’re done wiping, you retract your hand to stare at your thumb. It hits you then of what you just did, and you look back up at him in shock.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to um…didn’t…”

You lose you train of thought as Taehyung grabs your hand, bringing your thumb to his lips. He gently puckers them over your thumb and sucks off the sauce as you let out a small gasp. His eyes never leave yours and the heat from his soft mouth shoots right up your spine. For a while you just stare at each other, Taehyung’s sharp pupils examining your features. Your pink mouth is slightly parted, and your glazed eyes resemble a doll. He thought he heard you let out an almost inaudible whine as he kisses your thumb. It stirs something inside him that he himself doesn’t understand.

“___?”

You both jump far back when a deep voice calls out your name. With wide eyes and fast heartbeats, you stare at one another in a tremor. What were you doing just now? Namjoon soon appears into the kitchen with his hands in his short’s pocket and stops a few feet from you. He raises a brow as he looks between you and Taehyung and the obvious uncomfortable atmosphere dressing the place.

“You were taking a long time so…I came to check if you were okay?” He tells you, pausing a bit to catch Taehyung’s eyes, “We have to finish your assignment, so we should head back…”

“Y-yeah,” You suddenly remember how you were originally working on your trig quiz with your best friend and wandered off to quickly grab something to eat from the kitchen. “I’m fine.”

Turning back around, you smile at Taehyung before you notice something in his presence is off. You move your hand to set down the chopsticks on the countertop, accidentally brushing your fingers next to the bowl. Taehyung snatches the bowl out of your reach, and you become alarmed at the abrupt movement and his harsh glare.

“Don’t touch it.” He snarls in a low but clear voice. You observe him in shock as he steps his way around you and Namjoon and leaves the kitchen with heavy stomps.

Namjoon sighs as he watches him leave, “Don’t mind him. That jerk hates sharing anything.”

He looks back at you, who’s just gazing at where Taehyung once stood with an unreadable expression.

“___?” He calls again in a concerned tone, breaking you out of your thoughts.

“Huh, what?”

“You good?” Namjoon seems worried, studying your face with furrowed brows.

Namjoon’s been your friend for the longest time. You both met at the time when you stood 2 feet from the ground and still secretly wet the bed. Namjoon was a year older than you and had the gentlest soul. Other boys couldn’t compare, they had cooties. When you live in the same neighborhood and your parents are great friends, it’s not hard to see one another every day. So you did – and you both became very close, very quickly. If there was a test coming up, you’d rush to his house even in the middle of the night. When your mother was nagging at you for something stupid, you’d ask him to come over and bring his bike to ride around town. And when those cootie-filled boys broke your heart in middle school, his arms were the first ones you’d run into.

It was because of those days that you felt like you had taken a lot from him, and you desperately needed to return the favor. After he moved to Seoul, he called you often. Talking about things far from your general knowledge such as dance practices and the flow of rhythm and poetry. You would just sit back and let him rant, a content smile on your face at how much he was growing. But soon his words became alarming, especially after they debuted. At first, he would talk about how excited he was and ask what everyone thought about him or his group. That quickly changed into him complaining about the hate comments, about the relentless hours they worked, about rude staff or seniors they encountered. He told you how much he missed his parents, the quarry on the east end of town him and his friends hung out at, and how lonely he became at night when everyone but him was asleep. Your heart ached at his words and you knew it was time to repay your debt.

You were as shocked as everyone else when you actually got into Seoul University. Not Namjoon though, he was over the moon at your arrival. Your visits to the dorm began shortly and you transformed into a major stress-reliever for Namjoon. It was a recuperated feeling, he was also your ball of vitality after a long day. So were the other members of BTS you had become fond of through stories Namjoon told you or Bangtan Bombs you spent hours watching. They were awkward around you, and you were awkward with them. Some members were closer to you than others.

Taehyung was one of them…in the beginning at least. He was fun and charming, and he always knew how to make you laugh. It’s not like you used up eras talking to him. They were all fully grown adult men with a demanding job and barely any moments for themselves. Not wanting to bother their already busy schedule, you mostly hung around Namjoon. But from the few times you did run into him in the dorm, he was kind and easy-going. You were embarrassed to admit it, but you had the fattest crush on him even though Jimin was your bias. Everything about him was attractive – from his piercing facial features to his boxy smile and fluffy hair. That all changed one day though, as he rarely directed a smile at you. Instead he started to scowl whenever you stepped foot into the dorm.

You thought maybe you were interrupting the time between the seven members too much and he needed you to back off a bit. So you spoke to Namjoon about it who vigorously denied your allegations. Even though you felt bad about the whole situation, you knew how much your friend needed you to be his rock. The more popular they became, the more he felt like he was losing himself. Being a celebrity is harder than it seems – you try to dissociate your reality from the perception of others and it still becomes a tangled mess in the form of a persona. And so, you stayed with Namjoon, even through Taehyung’s frowns and glares. It hurt for a while because of your feelings towards the blonde, but soon you just concentrated on being a good friend.

When he spoke to you today, you were surprised. You didn’t find any disdain in his orbs or hidden layers underneath his words. A part of you thought he was finally fine with you again, just for him to do what he usually does when Namjoon appeared.

You notice the worried features set upon your older friend and smile up at him though your eyes don’t,

“I’m good. Let’s go.”

“Baby, can we pleaaassse order another shot?”

The girl demands into his ear, snuggling herself up further on his velvet clad shoulder. He internally rolled his eyeballs feeling suffocated by her skin ship, playing with the lime wedge on the edge of his untouched gin and tonic. The club’s music was pounding in his brain and he had spent the majority of yesterday vomiting out his nerves for their recent comeback. Their senior manager told him to take the day off and clear his head. Specifically warning him to not go to the club in Hongdae again, so obviously that’s where he went.

It’s not that he’s stupid, he knows why his company forbade such behavior. But it didn’t matter who it was, he didn’t like to be told what to do. Many celebrities visited and hooked-up with random rich kids here anyway, so security was pretty tight. No one who even resembled a reporter would be allowed to wander an inch of this place. Everyone dressed in Gucci shirts, and LV shoes so it wasn’t hard to weed out the peasants. A few undercover Dispatch employees have probably slipped in here though, but his company had already made a very generous donation to them so he knew even they wouldn’t bother him.

Taehyung frowns, he was always so damn stubborn and held probably the biggest ego in BTS. What did he even want to do at a club? There was nothing interesting for him here, especially not the half-drunk girl he’s been texting with for a few weeks. She seemed mysterious and chic on Instagram, but Taehyung should’ve known better than to trust that lying devil of a site. Now he was practically stuck with her thin arms wrapped around his waist.

As soon as he met her, she suggested a threesome between her, him and Jimin. It made him angry, but he played it cool for the sake of getting laid. Taehyung was never a man who shared. Especially if that something was his. His father instilled this part of his identity into him; a real man never takes for granted what’s rightfully his property. And with that value set as an important part of his core is how he lived his everyday life. From food, to clothes and even lovers…what was his, was his.

As she leaned into him, he takes a peek at her cleavage. Her red spaghetti-strapped dress was extremely low cut and the silicon in her breasts felt like the real deal.

Well maybe this wasn’t so bad.

He leans back into the cushions of his booth, eyeing the hordes of people dancing. There were a couple of faces he recognized, some good memories some bad. The girl begins to suck on his ear, and he sighs. In a second, he was just about to get up – bring this girl back to the dorm and fuck her brains out when he spots something that immediately catches his attention.

You.

This was the last place he expected you to be.

He hadn’t seen you for a while after the incident in the kitchen. You made it your mission to avoid bumping into him and for some reason that upset him. Taehyung keeps thinking about your small interaction over and over again.Just laying in his bed and wishing to hold onto your delicate hand once again. There was something pulling him to you and it really confused him. Wasn’t he supposed to hate you?

It was as if all the world’s noises and distractions had faded into nothing as he zeroed in on you.

You were sitting at the bar slowly sipping a light pink concoction in a short and wide glass. His gaze lingers on your figure, perfectly embraced by the dark green body con dress you were wearing. A velour cotton he analyzed; he was the expert in fashion in BTS after all. It seemed to reach down just below your ass, but he could’ve been wrong since it was riding up the more you shifted in your stool. The sleeves covered your arms and the neckline was wide, exposing your collarbones and ending just a centimeter above your chest area. Just then a thought of undressing you crossed his mind, leaving him shivering in his seat. He licks his lips as his heart starts beating faster from your lazy movements.

“Tae?” A sudden voice interrupts his thoughts “When are going to go somewhere a little more…”

Moving up on him she breaths into his face, observing him with cat eyes, “Quiet?”

There’s no expression on him as he answers her, “Never.”

She looks taken aback, moving off of his body and furrowing her eyebrows in question.

“What?”

She seemed offended

“Jimin just texted me. He says you look boring. Bye.” Is the last thing he says before picking up his drink and standing. He doesn’t look back to see her reaction as he focuses on walking towards you.

You were finishing the last of your light alcoholic drink before you suddenly smell Tom Ford from a warm presence next to you. Turning your face, you see Taehyung leaning into the bar table with his left arm and smiling at you. He was wearing a navy-blue velvet jacket with gold embellishments lining the edges of his arm. His black button up shirt was tucked into his tight leather pants and his neck exhibited a thin choker with a golden fox charm in the center. It matched with the blonde hair that fell over his sharp eyes.

Why was he here? Well…it makes more sense for him to be at this club than you. But Namjoon had told you of Taehyung’s strange behavior recently. It worried you, was he in the correct state of mind in this moment? He didn’t seem drunk to you as you survey his posture closely. The second he showed you his boxy smile, was when suddenly everything became brighter in the dark club.

“Hi.” He says in that familiar profound tenor

“Hey.” You reply back a little too quietly

“What brings you here?” He asks with a smirk, freezing your movements when he tucks a stray hair behind you ear.

“I c-came with a celebrity friend of mine…She kinda disappeared into the crowd.”

“Oh?” He says, bringing up his drink to his lips and taking a sip, “Do I know them?”

“The actress…Yujin. Namjoon introduced me to her a while back.”

At the mention of Namjoon he glances up from his glass. The eyes that were once focused on studying your features now held a heavy threatening aura, his lips pulled into a straight line.

When you notice the change in the atmosphere, you try your best to change the subject.

“W-what are you drinking by the way?”

When he registers your words, his pupils lighten again like he was some fairytale creature. His mouth forms back into a lighthearted smirk and he raises his drink up to your lips this time.

“Wanna find out?”

You back away from the cool touch of his tall glass just for him to bring it closer to your mouth again. His posture is playful and his smile boxy. Where was this Taehyung when you were at the dorms? With a purse of your lips, you open them somewhat to allow the glass into your mouth.

Carefully you angle your head up, allowing Taehyung to slightly pour the alcohol into your mouth. Your tongue retracts at first by the intrusion of the bitter liquid, but it soon flattens smoothly and let’s the drink slide down your throat. When you are finished with the first gulp, Taehyung’s hand settles onto the back of your head, his elongated fingers tangled in your strands. He uses that to push your head back further and let you drink more of his gin and tonic, controlling your movements with his warm limbs. Your lids flutter at his dominance, you felt yourself getting wet.

“Good girl,” He says in a deep velvety voice, making you clench your thighs, “Just like that.”

The action no longer seems innocent as he observes you like a hawk, his proximity heating your torso. You gawk hard into his bottomless eyes and found an unrecognizable desire dancing around his irises. Your core was on fire causing your cheeks to inflame. The liquid continued to slide down your throat, making you feel dizzy at the cool flavor. It felt like everything in the club had come to a halt in favor of watching Taehyung shove his drink down your throat.

As you down the whole drink, he removes the glass from your lips and sets it down while his other hand stays in his hair. It feels like you’ve run a marathon, your chest moving up and down and your eyes teary with lust. You struggle to speak – your brain was fuzzy as the alcohol settled in your system.

“Shh.” He hushed you, your mouth automatically shutting at his command. It made him smile and he cupped your jaw, moving his thumb along your lips. You tremble in his hands, your panties soaked with your juices.

“Wanna come home with me?”

Taehyung’s keys jingle as he slides it into the lock.

With a click he pushes the door open and enters into the pitch-black room with you following close behind. He flicks on the light switch and indifferently starts removing his derby’s. You on the other hand stare in shock and awe at the larger than life luxury apartment he brought you to. Your eyes wander all over the place – at the expensive adornments and odd-looking décor to the huge windows that gave you a clear view of the Han river.

“Wow.” You whisper

You hear Taehyung snort behind you, “You like it?”

“It’s quite something.” You utter as he comes into your view and places his shoes by his house slippers and proceeds to walk barefoot into the foyer casually. Snapping out of your reverie, you bring up your leg to pull off your heels one at a time, awkwardly setting them down next to the other two pairs.

When you’re done with that you enter the floorboard and look around to see where the blonde-haired man went.

“Taehyung?” You call out

“In here.” He shouts back from a room with the door slightly ajar and a small sunset light shining into the bright living room.

You walk across most of his apartment to reach the door, standing stagnant in front of it hesitantly. With a gulp you slide the door open and stepped inside.

Taehyung turns his face when he sees you. He’s taken off his coat and unbuttoned the first few buttons of his silk shirt. Smiling, he ruffles his hair while walking towards you who stood in the doorway.

“Hi.” He says cheekily, backing you into a corner

Causing you break out into a giggle, “Hello.”

His hand comes into contact with yours, his fingertips touching yours lightly before traveling up your arm. The warmth causes goosebumps in his trail and he places his fingers underneath your jaw, tilting your head up. His eyes roam around your face before settling into yours intensely, and you swear he looks unreal – like he just stepped out of a Ghibli animation.

“I always thought you so beautiful.” He mutters, his breath fanning your face

“Tae…” Is what you barely manage to say before his lips are on yours

The kiss is so slow, so sweet – you feel like you’re imagining it. When his tongue comes in contact with your lower lip you open your mouth to allow him entry. His large hand caresses your cheek, as his tongue dances with yours softly. Tilting his head to the side, he deepens the kiss pushing you up against the wall. In a second the kiss becomes faster, harder with him licking the insides of your mouth in a frenzy.

He himself didn’t know how long he’s wanted to kiss you. All he does know is that you taste delicious. A mix of bitter and sweet, like Rose spritzer and Gin. It was addictive and now that he’s had a taste, he can’t get enough.

“Mm- Tae-,” You try to muffle through a kiss, putting a hand up to his chest

He doesn’t seem to hear you as he pushes his tall, sturdy body onto you – his hot chest colliding with yours and his arms on either side of your head with his hands planted on the wall.

“T-Tae,” You say a bit louder this time, using a little more force to get him off you

He comes off in a breath, hands still on that wall and his eyes wide and pupils blown. His chest was moving up and down and his lips were wet with spit.

“You alright?”

“I…I just can’t do this.” You say with sadness in your voice. “I like you too much to be just another hook-up…so I can’t.”

Taehyung narrows his eyes and you flush, looking away. What was going to happen now? He didn’t seem to like you…was he going to tell you to leave?

“What gave you that idea?”

You look back up in surprise and meet his hardened stare

“I..I just thought-“

“I’ve never brought anyone here.” Taehyung interjects, “Did you know that?”

“What?” You say in disbelief “Really?”

Sighing, he drops his head giving you a clear view of his blonde locks, “Yes, really.”

“I know that you’ve probably heard from the members that I don’t share anything of mine…but…”

He looks back up at you, “That’s never been a problem with you.”

As you register what he was stating, you become apprehensive. If he was saying he likes you too…then why did he treat you like that before? All the scowls and harsh stares, what were those for?

“I thought you hated me.”

“I’m sorry. I-I thought I did too.” He grimaces, “But instead, I think I was just…that…”

It seems like he doesn’t want to finish his sentence, but you weren’t going to settle on a vague answer.

“You were what?” You drill him with a new-found confidence

“I was jealous!” He shouts, startling you a bit.

“You and…Namjoon,” He grits out your best friends name with his teeth clenched, “are together all the damn time! You don’t acknowledge me when he’s close by and you go straight into his room without even looking at me! I don’t know…how can I not be jealous when I want you to be mine?”

“…would you be mine?”

Your jaw drops open at his confession, all the new information starting to irritate your brain. The only reason you avoid him is because of how he acts…and he’s saying he acts this way because you avoid him? What a strange cycle. As your gaze lingers at the fury in his orbs, you can’t help but break into a laugh, which shocks him.

“Oh my god, you are so cute,” You say in between hearty giggles and watch him twist his face in embarrassment.

“It’s really not that funny,” He pouts “Hey, stop laughing!”

You hear him grumble underneath his breath as his facial expressions continue to amuse. Honestly, you didn’t know how to reply to his accusation. I mean, you and Namjoon? That would never happen in a million years. It was cliché, but he was literally like an older brother to you. So, this declaration sort of disgusted you. There was just no way you could ever discern Namjoon in that way, and you were sure it was the same for him.

Although, there was one time a few years ago where you both were extra lonely and helped the other masturbate. Obviously, nothing came out of it, and you don’t think Taehyung needs to know that. Not with the way his face lights on fire at the mention of you with Namjoon.

So, with nothing to say to him – you hook a finger up his choker and pull his face close to yours.

“I’m ready to be yours.” You whisper before kissing the frown away.

He reciprocates immediately, his hand being placed on your hips and drawing you into him. The kiss is electric, lasting for a few seconds before he moves his mouth into your neck. His hands trace over your dress, from your curves down to your ass before he grabs it gently.

“I really like this dress,” He mutters into the skin of your neck “Green is my favorite color.”

“I can’t afford s-something like this- ah. It’s- mm- Yujin’s.” You sigh

“Hmm,” He looks back up at your face making you blush, “Looks like I’ll have to buy you a whole new wardrobe then.”

Trailing his hand up your back, he finds the peak of the dress’ zipper. He pinches the zip, dragging it down your torso until it ended just above your bottom. Then he takes a step back, placing both of his palms on the edge of your shoulder. Without breaking eye contact, he slips the dress down your arms until it falls to the ground, pooling around your ankles.

Your breath is steady as you stare at him, watching in slight nervousness as he takes you all in.

That was the thing about Taehyung. You were always so worried about he thought, especially about you. Even though you visited the dorms often, he was always the member the most out of reach. He was like an expensive bottle of cognac, like the brightest star on top of the tree. Compared to the members, he was the most celebrity-like. Whenever Namjoon mentioned him ‘talking’ to someone, you always imagined some sexy, gorgeous model-like person. Someone similar to him.

And so you felt quite insecure about yourself as he leers at your almost naked form with an unreadable appearance. It makes you tuck a hair behind your ear as you wrap an arm around your abdominal.

Your breath gets caught in your throat as he closes in on you, placing your hands back on his clothed chest. He grips your waist, a bit harder this time as his fingers dig into the delicate skin. Taehyung picks you up abruptly and throws you into the large bed in the center of the room, knocking the wind out of you. You barely have time to think before he’s on top you, biting down your jaw and into your neck.

“All of this,” He growls in a deeply furious resonance, “is mine.”

Bending his index finger underneath your bra strap, he gives it a pull, just to let it go in the next second. It lands on your skin with a snap. You flinch, your face twisting in pain as he grins, and arch your back off the bed. Was he always this playful with his lovers? There’s not much time for you to dwell on that as his fingers trace up your exposed back. Working quickly, he unhooks your bra, practically ripping it from your chest as your lids shoot open. He discards the fabric to the side, not caring where it landed with his attention focused solely on you. Your nipples bounce faintly in the cools air while he licks his lips, bending down and taking a bud in his mouth.

As your jaw drops open, you entangle your fingers into blonde locks, pulling slightly as he swirls his tongue around the nipple before sucking your areola. The action has your spine tingling. Your other hand grabs onto his shirt, the silky fabric of the cloth letting you easily slide the edge of your nails throughout the expanse of his back, making him shiver on top of you. He moves his mouth onto the other nipple, using his thumb and index finger to pinch the wet, swollen bud.

“Mmm- Ahhhh…Tae.”

The room was getting blurry, the smoke of yearning in your lungs kept your sentient heavy. Taehyung removes himself with a pop and uses his large, supple hands to mold your breasts. His emission was low and stable as he was in buried in concentration at every curve of your figure – every inch being his to sculpt. You were entranced by his dedication, so delicate and agile. He didn’t look like he was in any rush and you were caught off guard. Expecting him to be uncaring and have you in the way he wanted.

But what you didn’t understand is that Taehyung could play both sides equally well. The man is a master at manipulation – always knows how to get what he wants.

“So perfect.” He mumbles.

There was not an ounce of alcohol in his veins, yet as he continued to stare at you, he felt himself getting lost. Taking the tips of his fingers, he glides them down the middle of your chest, loving the way you sighed at his contact. Your body was a work of art, a Gustav Klimt in the midst of so many Wassily Kandinskys. He stops his digits on top of your clothed core, his breath hitching in his throat when he feels how wet you are.

In embarrassment you recoil, closing your legs together. In return he easily props them open with tender vigor shooting his eyes up to meet yours.

“Don’t ever act that way with me.” He warns, placing two fingers above your cunt over your panties, leisurely dragging them up and down, “Not with me, do you understand?”

All that leaves your mouth are whines of his names, the motion of his long digits making you want to close your thighs again for some friction. But you knew better than that now.

“Do you understand?” He says again in the same lazy tone and you almost cry out of frustration. It was torture how slow he was moving yet just as he wants you to, you don’t move an inch.

Forcing yourself to clear your tangled thoughts, you spill out a pathetic plead, “Ye-Ye- ahhh. Yes! Yes! I understand. Pleasssse.”

The way your voice sounded was frightening to you. You’ve been sexually intimate a handful of times, but this was a whole new world. Never in your life did you ever think you were capable of sounding like such a whore. Nonetheless, when Taehyung smiles at you. Oh, when he smiles like you’ve done such a good job.

You would happily become a whore.

He retracts his hand from your center, gazing down at the large wet patch on your underwear. Slowly, he crouches down, sticking out the tip of his tongue in the direction of your crotch. You anticipate, holding your breath as your pussy clenches around nothing. Thinking about Tae tasting you down there had you leaking like a waterfall.

He finally makes contact with your core and you cry out as you feel his muscle move around your folds, the fabric stimulating the bundle of nerves. It was heaven and hell, half of you wanting him to remove the cloth the other half not giving a fuck. Just wanting to cum.

“Tae, Tae, Tae, Tae.” He had you slurring at the bare minimum. If a sober – less excited you was watching you, she’d close her eyes in humiliation. Which is exactly what you do, but instead for a completely different reason as Tae flattens his tongue on you.

He groans at your taste. “So- mmf- sweet. So good.”

Your fingers pull on his hair, as he moves his nose and mouth around your folds, sucking your slit through the fabric.

“Oooh,” You sob “N-no more teasss- inng.”

Exhaling into your crotch, he sits up with a gratified look on his face, orbs glossy and chest heaving like he was high. In the next second, he was hooking his finger in the waistband of your underwear, dragging it down your legs in a slow yet steady motion. Fuck, you wanted to scream at how long he took at doing everything, but you opt to just squirm around in its place. Annoyance covers your lids as he just laughs, throwing his head back with your underwear reaching just below your knees.

After this was over you were going to kill him.

Finally, to your great pleasure, he removes the garment off your body, staring deep into your soul. Making sure you were paying attention, he bites his lip – winking at you with his ethereal features. God made sure to pay special courtesy to Taehyung when shaping him, you were sure of it. How refined the lines of his eyes were, the high structure of his gorgeous cheekbones and arch of his luscious lips. You just knew he took extra care in making this human beyond divine.

When he has you hypnotized under him like he wanted, he brings your panties up to his face, deeply inhaling your scent.

You gasp at the action. Noting taking your eyes off of him as he groans into your underwear and grabs his bulge.

At this point your pussy was spasming around nothing. And the worst part was that he hadn’t even touched you properly.

“Shhh,” He pats your inner thigh as you shake in the bed, rubbing it up and down. “It’s okay.”

“Taehyung, FUCK…please just fuck me Taehyung ple- AHH”

Your voice wandered off as he abruptly shoved his tongue into you once again, this time going inside of you. Taehyung holds down your quivering thighs as he sucks your juices in. His nails dig into the sensitive skin, leaving angry red marks in their wake. Growling at your essence, he moves his tongue to lick along your clit using two fingers to push into your pussy, making you cry out. He expertly scissors your insides, moving his digits apart before curling them and licking harder each time you clamped around them. On the other hand, you were a mess. Your eyeballs rolled into the back of your head and you were sputtering nonsense as Taehyung continued to taste you.

“Yes, Oh my God, yes Tae!”

When you were about to cum, he removes himself, emitting the loudest whine from your throat. Hot tears spill down your cheeks and he wipes them away with his hand.

Putting your leg over his shoulder, he coos, kissing your ankles down to your calves. That’s when he finally unbuckled his pants, dragging them down to his mid-thighs. He takes out his dick, the head red and angry with a bead of precum leaking from the slit. With a grunt, he spits into his hand, stroking himself while eyeing your pretty cunt. With a weak conscious, you observe how his fingers glide through his shaft. Sliding over every vein and artery that has you drooling in delight.

“Tell me who you belong to.” He says in a chillingly sunken voice, pupils no longer well-lit.

“Ummh Taeeee.” You weren’t able to comprehend anything except the fact you wanted to be the one touching his dick.

“Say it.” He says again in the same tone, “Say it or you’re never getting this cock.”

Your eyes widen as you hear him. Before today, you ‘ve never been the one to be into such dirty talk. Possessive talk in it’s owned creeped you out. But the last thing you gave a shit about at the moment were your morals, practically throbbing for him to be inside you. So, with your womanhood screaming at you to answer him, you do.

“YES! Taehyung, I belong to you, only you. Please, please, please just fuck me.”

With a dark smirk and a peck on your lips, he lines the head of his dick with your entrance. Entering you calmly. His mouth hangs open as he inches inside you, observing every ounce of your face. The pleasure, the grimace, the lust. All of this belonged to him.

What you felt first was the contrast of your naked – vulnerable torso, to his fully clothed exterior. Unbeknownst to you, he was making a clear statement by keeping his clothes on. Even though the tight pants attached onto his thigh were uncomfortable, it’s still worth it if you know who’s in charge around here. It didn’t seem like you cared about the power dynamic though as Taehyung filled you to the brim. Definitely not as much as he did.

Moaning, you grab onto his arms, your sweaty palms helping his shirt stick onto you and holding your breath as he settles inside. He gives you a minute to adjust, peppering light kisses on your forehead and cheeks. Some part of him believed that he was just dreaming – maybe this one another one of those hallucinations he had about you since you first entered his life. That was another reason he hated you.

Because at night, when he was completely alone after another day of you being over, he would jerk himself off to thoughts about fucking your tight cunt in front of everyone. Letting all the members know, especially the tallest, that you were his as he thrusted into you from behind on the dorm’s dinner table. What he wouldn’t do to see the look on their faces. You were way tighter than he could ever imagine.

And well, at least one part of his wish came true. As you mumble his name and your muscles relax around him, he gradually takes his dick out, his brows furrowing in ecstasy. Then he slams into you again balls deep, making you scream. He repeats that action, over and over until the bed his practically flying in rhythm with his thrusts.

“Ahh Fuuu- Tae, I’m gonna-” You moan out loud, feeling lightheaded from him moving above you and the mattress moving beneath you.

“Not yet,” He commands, “Hold it for me.”

You sob as he continues to push into you at a rapid pace, his thick girth hollowing out your insides. Every time he would hit your cervix, you let out a small scream wrapping your legs firmer around him. There was no way you were going to last, but you had to. So, you clench your abdominal muscles uncomfortably and just cry your heart out. But it wasn’t working, you could still feel that knot inside your gut. With nothing to focus on you look up at his face, feeling surprised to have his hardened stare on you.

“Tae…” You whine, trailing your eyes down his jaw up to his neck. His choker was trembling around at the force of the movements, the fox charm dangling up and down.

Suddenly it leaves your sight, his tan skin, the choker, his misty orbs and his dick. You barely have time to think as you were turned around in one swift motion, eyes now facing the headboard. Taehyung’s muscular arms hold you up by the waist as he shoves into you once again.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck,” He repeats with every thrust while you have our jaw hanging open and spit dripping down your chin.

“Tell me who you belong to,” He snarls almost inhumanely, “Say- fuck- who’s bitch you are! Whose whore are you? Who mmh- owns your pretty pussy, huh? Say IT!”

“Oh my God, oh my God, I belong to you, Ahh- I’m yours, your whore…ughhh it’s yours.”

“You’re mine.” He growls before hitting your ass so hard it has you lurching forward and cumming.

Your face lands into the mattress, your cries muffled by the sheets as your body convulses. White spots paint your vision as you feel yourself blackout for a second, air being knocked out of you.

“FUCK!” He roars, still thrusting into you a few more times before he settles all the way inside your tight walls and shoots his cum deep within you.

Taehyung falls down next you, staring at the white ceiling of his apartment. It takes him a while to get himself together, his chest heaving and mind hazy. With a curse, he removes his leather pants off his legs completely and throws them to the side, sighing in relief.

Then he glances at you, who’s heavily breathing in the same position. Face planted on the bed with your ass in the air. He moves his arms around you, gently shifting you over until your back collided with his chest. Running a hand through your hair, he pats your stomach that’s aching from how hard he was gripping it. Kissing over the bite marks at the conjecture between your neck and your shoulder. You whine lowly in thanks at the comfort he was providing your sore muscles.

“You alright?” He asks softly, sounding like a human once again

“I’m great.” You say with a smile as a bit of your energy comes back. Turning on the bed until your face to face with him, you give him a peck on his lips. “That was…”

“Something.” He finishes for you

You laugh, “Yes, something.”

He just stares at you with a grin. An unreadable emotion in his eyes.

“What is it?” You whisper

“Nothing…just your laugh is the most beautiful thing on earth.”

“Oh my God.” You blush as he gives you a boxy smile. So, this is Kim Taehyung of BTS, huh?

“Only laugh for me,” He suddenly says, “You’re mine, after all.”

A strange, uncomfortable feeling washes over you. The words you thought were just bedroom talk making an appearance in the moment after made you mildly lose your smile. It was really weird how he kept making an emphasis on that while fucking you anyway, until you lost yourself and agreed. But those kind of things happen with sex right? It’s normal. However, how are you supposed to deal with them after sex?

Maybe you were making a big deal out of nothing. His face was spirited, so he was just joking around. He’s not serious, you tell yourself…hoping you were correct.

“Sure.” You reply casually, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him to stop him from saying another odd thing. It was going to ruin the mood plus the start of whatever this new thing was between you both.

It works, as he quickly holds onto you securely and licks into your mouth. You focus on how good it feels to caress his tongue with yours, ignoring the part of him repeatedly uttering ‘mine’ into your mouth.

You gasp as you feel his erection on your thigh, moving back to see the smirk on his face as he grabs your sore ass with his palm.

It was going to be a long night.

You woke in a sunny room to hear the shower running.

It took you a minute to figure out where you were since you did have a bit to drink last night. That’s why there was a small headache forming behind your eyes. A strumming passing through you the more conscious you become.

You smile.

That’s right, this was Kim Taehyung’s bedroom. The man you just fucked last night. The guy you’ve had a crush on for 4 years now. What a champ you are! With an inhale you sit up, hissing instantly at your sore hips. Boy, did you two fuck last night.

What were you both now? Friends? Lovers? You could never be sure with that Gucci loving kid, but you weren’t too concerned seeing as how you had the rest of the morning to talk about it.

You whine as you rub your bottom, cringing as you think about how awkwardly you’d be strutting for the rest of the day. As you check the time on his digital clock, you thank god today was your day off or else your company would’ve had your head. No class today either, how perfect.

Leisurely exhaling, you decide to get up and maybe join Taehyung in his shower. A smirk rests on your lips. He’d like that, right?

Before you can think any further about getting frisky with the blonde man, you notice your green dress still on the floor.

You gasp.

Yujin!

Looking around the floor you spot your handbag by the corner of the doorway. How did it get there and when did you drop it? In a flash, you rush to pick it up, walking back towards the bed butt-naked as you dig through it. You fish out your phone as you get by the bed. Facing the large window by the nightstand.

Pursing your lips, you open the screen recoiling at how many missed calls there were. Yujin tried calling you two to three times and texted you once. Then you’re guessing she reached out to Namjoon who was blowing up your phone the entire night! With his last call being at 5:17 in the morning.

You wince. Great. Last night you had put your phone on silent because recently a spam call had been terrorizing you. Though, after you stepped out of your front door, you should have made sure to turn the sound back on – for safety reasons, but you completely forgot.

What if you got stuck inside a house with a creep? The thought alone makes you shudder.

Whatever, it’s not that bad. You’ll just let Namjoon know you’re ok. There weren’t any reasons for you to tell him where you were – or who you were with so you’ll just leave that part out. For now.

Unlocking your phone, you click your messages app to send Namjoon a quick ‘I’m good. Had a fun night😉’ You’re concentrated on typing, hearing the little ticks every time you click the screen, which is why you don’t notice the bathroom door opening and steam charging out of it, warming up the room. Taehyung, with a towel hanging around his waist, softly steps close to your figure facing away from him – before he tackles you into a back hug.

It was a sight he could get used to. Your beautiful naked form, lounging around his house covered with his marks. He groaned into your skin. Fuck breakfast, he was ready for the fifth round.

“Oh!” You let out in surprise.

“Good morning.” He says, peppering kissing into your neck and tracing over his lovebites with the tip of his tongue. You shift your head to the side to allow him a better angle.

“Good morning.” You reply back in giggles as you continue typing.

For a moment he just stands there, rocking you back and forth with his large arms wrapped around your waist. When he detects that you’re not paying him any attention, he pouts. Putting his chin on your shoulder to see what was keeping you from him.

“What’re you doing?” He whines in your ear in annoyance

“Oh, Namjoon texted me a few times last night but my phone was on silent,” You should’ve noticed how dark his eyes got, how quickly his smile left him for something else – something more sinister. But you were too distracted typing out a reply to your freaked-out friend.

“I’m just letting him know I’m-”

Suddenly he removes his arms off you and your phone gets snatched away from and you watch it be thrown across the room. Crashing into the wall and making an awful cracking sound. In shock you stare at the place it was thrown at, processing what just happened.

“I’m really sick and tired of Namjoon’s name coming out of your mouth.” Taehyung sneers, getting into your personal space.

There was still nothing registering in your mind as you heard the anger in Taehyung’s voice. You turn around with your brain in a muddled mess. It felt like the alcohol was finally hitting you.

Taehyung stood there in pure, unadulterated rage. He’s been this way with you many times…but this time it’s different. There was something off about the way he towered over you. It rattled your bones, your defense mechanisms kicking in, making you shift your feet towards the exit.

“Wha-”

“You wish it was him, don’t you? You wish he was the one fucking you in the bed for hours! You wanted him to mark you up – make you his pretty little cumslut! You wanted to scream his name as you came for the fourth time! DIDN’T YOU?!”

Spitting into your face, he grabs your cheeks with his oversized hand and let’s his nails dig into your soft skin in a fury. There’s nothing but madness swirling inside his pupils. You set your hands on his wrist, trying to pull him off. It was fruitless as he didn’t budge, just continued to fan your face with hot, weighty breaths. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes as your heartbeat accelerated. In that moment all you could think about was getting away from the blonde.

With the last exert of your strength, you somehow you manage to push him away from you. As soon as you do, your palm makes contact with the taller man’s cheek. The sound echoes throughout the room, making you back away from him even further. Slowly his skin becomes rosy, an ugly handprint forming across his cheek as he raises his head back up to look at you. You emit a gasp, the tears from before pouring out your sockets.

There was absolutely nothing in his eyes – in his face. No pain, no anger…there was absolutely no emotion. You were frightened by his sudden cold exterior. It was as if he was a hollow shell. An empty soul. He seemed…insane.

“You’re crazy.” You mumble, but you knew he heard it.

For a second it feels like there was something that flashed across his eyes. Something akin to pain, but you didn’t care. You needed to get the hell out of here, so you looked away from him and searched the bedroom. Grabbing your purse, you pick up your dress from the floor and ran to where he threw your phone. Picking it up, you open it to see that’s still working with just a small fracture on the bottom edge of the screen. You’ve never been more thankful for having a phone case. With that you quickly run out of the room, not caring about your undergarments.

In the hallway, you haphazardly throw on your dress while sniffling. The apartment no longer entranced you, instead you felt suffocated and frightened. He…wouldn’t run after you would he. God, please no. Grabbing your phone, you hesitate whether to call Namjoon…but somehow decide against it. The one thought in your mind was to get away from this place – get away from him. You flinch as you think you hear Taehyung call out your name and rush towards and out the door, not waiting for what he had to say.

Not looking back.

Taehyung was a mess.

It had been a few weeks since your abrupt departure and he couldn’t get you out of his head.

Actually, he hasn’t gotten you out of his head since he first saw you, but this time it was worse. Whenever he closed his eyes, he could see your teary face and the absolute disgust for him swimming in your irises. It hurt him so much. He couldn’t eat, he couldn’t sleep. All he could think about was the day he finally held you in his arms just for you to run off.

Because of his terrible health habits, he had been looking extremely tired for the past few days. His face was molded into permanent indifference, a pathetically downcast expression on his lips. He knew the fans had noticed, a couple of them made fanclub posts about it. But he honestly couldn’t find it within him to give a fuck. His manager and the members had all been worried for him – asked him if something’s wrong multiple times but he continued to brush them off. For some reason he found it difficult to communicate with anyone that wasn’t you at the moment.

And you definitely weren’t around. So where does that leave him?

Taehyung wondered if you’ve been doing well, compared to him. Since you wouldn’t want to see him, he hasn’t tried to go visit you. Even though he was dying to see you – basically killing himself – he just couldn’t do that to you. Instead he texted you a bunch of times, tried to call you in numerous ways and even asked Namjoon of your whereabouts daily. All he wanted to tell you was that he was willing to change for you, only if that’d get you to come back to him. There was a lot he would do if it meant you would look at him again. Yet nothing came of it, not even Namjoon could get ahold of you.

He resorted to desperate measures to remove you from his mind. Tried to hook-up with other girls, tried to drink the loneliness away, tried hanging out with A-list celebrities – people way more important than a mere college student could ever be. None of that came close to filling the void left in his heart, no drink or famous person could touch his soul. The other girls didn’t compare to you, hell – he couldn’t even get it up with them! Soon there’d be an article in some C-grade gossip column about how Kim Taehyung of BTS was sexually impotent, he just knew it.

All of his methods didn’t do anything but get him into trouble from his company.

With nothing to take out his frustration on, Taehyung began to utilize what secular part of you you left behind. Your panties. Every night, drunk and alone in his bedroom – he would stuff your delicates into his mouth, stroke himself in harsh paces and imagine fucking the daylights out of you while crying out into his dark apartment. Other times he would wrap the fabric around his shaft, gently stroking his dick until he came by thinking about making sweet love to you. Your soft hair, the glow of your plump lips, your wet folds. He really missed you. It made him a mess.

This is all your fault! See, this is exactly why he hated you. Because you found a way to entrap him into your little game and now he was obsessed with you. You! Who didn’t even care! That one night meant everything to him and you had just disappeared like it was nothing. A simple bump in the road. Taehyung was mentally exhausted.

That’s why as he was performing their newest song – some EDM track that had a difficult dance attached to it, he was making so many mistakes that he wasn’t able to count them anymore. Because of him, the course of the movements had fallen apart and none of the members seemed to be doing as well as they practiced. He just didn’t have the ability to concentrate; the bright stage lights and the overwhelming atmosphere couldn’t bring him back to reality. Instead made him dizzy the more he moved around. The members were trying hard to make up for most of his errors, especially Jungkook who was performing some of his parts for him. Even in front of millions of fangirls all he could think about was you.

Namjoon was glaring at him through the whole performance. The older man only smiling once it was his solo part in front of the camera. He ignored most of it, but it still made him a tad furious. After all, Namjoon was the reason he was in this predicament.

As soon as the performance ends, Taehyung rushes off the stage while the others chat with their fans for a bit. Everyone behind him makes a fuss, angry and sad chants from both the crowd and his members annoy him. Backstage he continues pushing past the staff and the managers coming scold him. All he wanted to do was get a drink of water.

When he gets in the waiting room, he sighs in relief to find it empty. The senior stylists must’ve head up stage to retouch the member’s makeup in case of another retake. He walks to the table filled with refreshments, grabbing the nearest water bottle and twisting the cap open carelessly.

The cap falls to the ground but he just proceeds to drink the cool liquid and drown out his tension. As he’s halfway through, he hears another presence’s shoes stepped into the room.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

It’s Namjoon.

Well, maybe Taehyung should’ve expected this. He was the leader and all. Namjoon had no choice but to make sure the members performed without trouble. Or he’d be the one to get it.

“What do you mean?” Taehyung replies nonchalantly. Going back to drinking his water as Namjoon steps up close to him, the man’s musk filling up the room.

“You know exactly what I mean.”

“Listen, if you’re talking about the performance- I’ve just been having a hard time lately an-”

“That’s not what I mean,” Namjoon growls making Taehyung glance at him for the first time since he came in. “I’m not stupid Tae, you’re acting up around the same time ___ refuses to answer any of my calls. Something she’s never done before.”

He looks towards the floor for a second before looking back up at the blonde with wide, angry eyes.

“Did…Did you do something to her?”

Taehyung tries to keep his cool. It was hard to do that with your name coming out of the elder’s mouth. Even though he tries to be level-headed, he can’t help the mocking sneer that breaks past his lips.

“I slept with her.” Taehyung says, subtly trying to mark his territory

In an instant, Namjoon is upon him. Grabbing his collar and pushing him against the wall, where his head collided hard with the off-white cement. Making him wince.

“YOU BASTARD. I swear to God if you’re just taking advantage of her-”

“STOP TALKING LIKE THAT. LIKE YOU OWN HER.” Taehyung spits back, “She belongs to me, she’s mine.”

For a second, he thinks he’s won as Namjoon loosens his grip on his collar and stares into his orbs in bewilderment. A small smirk presents itself on his face at his victory, before the irritation in Namjoon’s face comes back, as he grits his teeth.

“You think you’re special just because you made her cum?” Namjoon says in a low, steady tone of voice

Taehyung’s smile falls

“You’re late but…welcome to the club.” Namjoon lets out his own cocky smile directed at the younger, watching the way his eyes widen almost dramatically.

Namjoon lets go of his collar, scoffing before walking away from the man. He knew he was being a bit childish and you’d probably kill him if you ever found out about this but he was too pumped up to care at the moment.

As he gets to the end of the room, he stops and places his hand on the wall by the entryway.

“By the way,” He peeks over his shoulder “Get it together out there. We’re doing another take in 5.”

With that he leaves the room.

Taehyung stands there, staring at the spot where Namjoon once stood with inexplicable emotions.

Even though Namjoon has supposedly won this conversation, what he failed to acknowledge was the absolute fury in Taehyung’s eyes.

Pure rage flowed through his veins as Namjoon’s words replayed over and over in his head. Did he just imply that he…slept with you? That he got to taste your sweet cunt? That he ran his fingers over the expanse of your silky skin? He got to fill you to the brim – got to mark you up with his pretty littles stars?

That he touched what belonged to Taehyung?

He roars in agony, throwing his water and flipping over a table of refreshments. Everything clatters and bangs until he’s left observing the mess littering the floor. His breathing is uneven as his pupils become unfocused. The whole room was suddenly spinning and he stumbles in place for a bit as he feels like the walls are closing in on him. Grabbing his forehead, he blocks his vision with his clothed arms.

He touched something of his, he sullied his property and Taehyung couldn’t stand it. In the middle of his havoc, it hits him like a ton of bricks. What kind of a man had he become in the present years? Is this the values his father instilled in him? Is this how he’ll waste his blood, sweat and tears? In the large waiting room, it felt as if the temperature dropped below freezing as Taehyung straightened himself out - holding onto his dignity with a new-found cause.

He wasn’t going to let the elder get away with this. He couldn’t. His face was vacant, his throat dry and his orbs deadpan. A horrid idea formulating behind his cold facade.

No…he has to pay. Namjoon’s going to regret ever breathing in your direction when he’s done dealing with Taehyung’s wrath.

Everyone needed to know that Taehyung doesn’t share what’s rightfully his.

Namjoon sighed and stretched his sore tendons as he gazed into the deep blue night.

Everything was a clutter in his life. You wouldn’t pick up his phone or answer his texts. He knew how much he relied on you over the past few years and you always delivered, but this time you went off the grid. Telling him you need some time alone for now. Taehyung, on the other hand was acting like a complete fool. They hadn’t talked since their little ‘run in’ a few days ago with Taehyung missing from the dorms all night. And for the first time since their debut, the members all seemed on guard with one another.

It was silent chaos.

He was just tired, honestly. Sometimes he wishes he could rest his aching muscles, hibernate like a bear and not wake up for a month or two. The leader always has it the worst. Some sunbaes and colleagues have mentioned that to him multiple times and he agrees. Having to keep the group together and remind these fucks that it was literally their job to act professional. If thousands of construction workers can work almost 50 hours a week and still manage to earn less than thirty grand a year, he really didn’t see how a bunch of rich idols on stage could have this much trouble performing properly.

It’s literally the least they could do.

Taehyung had always been sort of a brat. His parents favored him the most, so he’s been spoiled since birth. Once he decides something was his, there was no turning back. Maybe Namjoon would sympathize with him more if he calmly spoke about his possessive issues rather than shout the head off anyone who touched anything of his.

And now he had slept with you.

Shit. This was the worst part. Namjoon knew how Taehyung got around lovers. Rather than humans, they became solely his property – for his own pleasure and needs. He dreaded to think that would become your fate as well, so out of slight childishness he might’ve revealed to Taehyung about that one mutual masturbation memory. Although vaguely.

It honestly meant nothing, he was just trying to protect his oldest friend. He thought if maybe Taehyung found out you were ‘tainted’ by him, he would back off. There would be no interest in him for you any longer, so he wouldn’t dare treat you like an object.

At least that’s what he was shooting for.

With a heavy breath, he stands up off the bench pressed into the grassy roots of the lake’s shore. He peered off into the distance, the serene blue water and faint frog croaks made him break out into a dimpled smile. This was his favorite place. Like Taehyung, everyone has something they dislike sharing right?

For him it was this lake. It was his secret spot. Whenever his mind got too crowded and even breathing gave him a headache, he would come here and watch his worries disappear down into the clear water for a while. The lake always reminded him that he was small, that his tensions and problems were all too small compared to the big wide universe.

It made him think. Perhaps he overreacted and lost his cool there for a second. If Taehyung wanted to date you, it’s not his business to meddle in. You were a grown woman – no matter how young you’d stay in his heart – you could take care of yourself. He’s watched you grow from a tiny snot-nosed girl into a bright young lady with a sharp mind and tender soul. He should trust you.

And Taehyung. Wide-eyed, boxy smiled Taehyung was his brother. A man he’s shared much laughter and tears with, a man he’s shared a room with. These years were never easy, but the blonde always knew how to make Namjoon’s day a tad brighter. He should trust Taehyung.

You were his family, after all.

With a new-found mindset, he smiles, turning away from the water to come home to both of you. He begins walking on the grassy path, which led into the trees. It was an especially dark night, there was only so much he could squint and see. The parking lot was located on the other side of the road, as the lake area was surrounded by large oak trees.

There weren’t many people that came here on a Sunday at midnight, which is why it was his favorite time to roam around the area. Some people would mistake it as abandoned with how there were no street lights or rest areas nearby.

As he treads by the trees, he thinks he hears someone stepping on a twig behind him. He stops, turning around into the black forest anxiously. It was too dark to see, so he quiets his breathing, trying to hear any sounds lurking in the branches. A soft wind blows in his face as he can feel himself turning pale.

Nothing. There was no sign of any life.

Even though he’s kind of frightened, he reasons with himself. Animals like squirrels or ducks surround the lake and any one of them could be roaming about. Right?

…But what kind of a squirrel wanders about at 12:34 AM?

Turning back around, he quickens his steps. Ready to get the hell out of here. Because he just watched a horror movie last night, his mind was racing with crazy scenarios.

What if a serial killer roams this lake at this time of night? And he just happens to stumble upon an idiot named Namjoon – or should he say his NEW VICTIM? Who knows what really is beneath that deep murky water? A monster who scours the premises for fresh meat?

Why didn’t he think of any of these issues that could occur with going into a basically deserted side of the city – with a great spot for hiding bodies, let’s point that out – in the middle of the night, beforehand?

When he makes it to the road clearing, he almost cries out of relief. He slows his pace, twisting his body back towards the forest to make sure no one was following him. As his shoes hit the gravel, he can hear himself starting to breathe again. It was still too dark to see, but at least there were no large pieces of bark obstructing his vision.

He was too focused. Too concentrated on the view in his rear to see where he was going.

Too preoccupied to notice how slow he was walking.

He couldn’t hear the lull of the engine. Instead his breath hitching when he catches the leaves of the shrubs ruffling. Halfway through the road, and still looking back. His throat constricting as he sees the fluffy white egret step out from beyond the horde of bushes behind him. Everything goes in slow motion as the bird’s chirp registers in his mind.

He was just too focused on the place he shouldn’t have been.

So, when he finally looked back on the road to spot the car without headlights, heading towards him with full speed-

It was too late.

You had gotten the call an hour ago, and you dropped everything to get to him.

Every single feeling in your leg had left long ago. The muscles in your arms were aching and your voice was hoarse from you wailing in the car. There was an overpowering agony moving throughout your body without consent and you found yourself hyperventilating. As you rush up the stairs – too impatient to wait for an elevator – you trip over a step and catch yourself on your hands, facing the grounds of the stairway.

This isn’t real. This can’t be happening.

You take a moment to catch your breath, getting up and running up the steep steps once again. Letting the sensation of being petrified fuel your adrenaline.

He had called your friend. How he got her number, you don’t know. Too distracted by the message the girl came into your dorm room to tell you.

“Taehyung called me! Namjoon’s hurt. It’s bad – they have him in the secret emergency room at Seoul Hospital-”

You didn’t even wait for her to finish her sentence before you bolted out the door. Through your hysterics and terrible traffic, you somehow managed to make it here in once piece. Thankfully, the media hadn’t been informed yet, everyone keeping the top star’s whereabouts strictly confidential. The nurses were rude when you questioned them about Namjoon’s situation, suspected you as a stalker fan and almost had you kicked out of the hospital until Manager Sejin vouched for you. Sejin was in the lobby, holding half full water bottle and had the biggest bags underneath his eyes.

You pleaded with him, begged him to tell you what was going on, but he just stood there facing the floor. With no time to waste on his futility, you barged into the staircase to find your Namjoon.

This couldn’t happen. You couldn’t lose him. He was your tall and goofy best friend. A clumsy yet handsome older brother. He was your family. Guilt dances across your brain at ignoring him this past week. The timing of this tragedy could not get any worse.

When you finally make it to the emergency surgery floor, you barge in – tripping over your own legs.

As you stand up on wobbly legs, Taehyung’s wide eyes make contact with yours. You run up to him like an insane patient, grabbing his arms.

“W-w-what did the doctor say? How is he? WHAT’S GOING ON.”

“Shh, shh,” Taehyung grabs your arms back, “Calm down, it was a hit and run. Driver got away and a local merchant driving by found him on the road. The surgeon’s in there right now. He’ll let us know how he is in a while. Shh.”

With his words you finally allow yourself to breath gain. Loud cries leave your lips as you clench your eyes shut. Taehyung pats your head, trying to calm your down.

Rubbing your teary eyes, you look around the empty waiting room in confusion.

“Where are the others?”

“I sent the members home, they’ve been up all day. They were reluctant but I told them I’d stay behind no matter how long it takes. His parents are catching the next available flight. They’ll be here by tomorrow morning.”

You steady your exhales as you listen to him speak, “Why didn’t you call me sooner?”

“I did. You didn’t pick up. I had to somehow find Yujin’s number and tell her to tell you.” He states calmly

His maturity in this whole situation embarrasses you. Why had you been acting like such a brat to everyone in the past couple of days? Ignoring texts and phone calls. Cutting off contact with your best friend. Just because of a small misunderstanding between you and Taehyung. What was wrong with you?

“Taehyung…I’m sorr-”

The door of the surgery room opens, making your words hang in midair. The doctor comes out looking tired, removing his face masks and gloves in the entranceway. Letting go of Taehyung, you rush up to him.

“Doctor, h-how is he?”

Taehyung tsks under his breath as you leave his side immediately for news on Namjoon. A dark cloud gathers around his head as his eyes pierce the place you once stood with hate. He turns around carefully, masking his malevolent expression with that of worry.

Years of idol training had paid off well.

“He’s fine for now,” The doctor states in exhaustion, “He was hurt pretty badly, the back of his cranium had fractured slightly, and he broke his left arm and four ribs. We’ve managed to stitch up most of his open wounds but there was a lot of internal bleeding. We’ll have to wait through the night for signs of his progress.”

The doctor pats your shoulder, before walking around you towards the end of the hall. You stand there in shock for a couple of seconds before turning around to face Taehyung. All it takes is for you to see the pain in his pupils before you run into his arms, holding him in a tight grasp.

You cry into his chest as Taehyung wraps himself around you and continues to pat your head.

“Shhh, he’ll be okay. It’ll be alright.” Taehyung coos into your hair, as your tears soaked through his shirt.

What you don’t know is about the wicked smirk gracing his features as he stares a hole through the door of the room that contained Namjoon. His plan had gone way better than he had hoped, and you were finally here beside him once again.

He has to admit, he was scared of getting caught. Who else would have known about his location except his previous roommate who’s he’s shared drunken secrets with. But he knew there was no way Namjoon had seen anything in that dark road and he knows no one would suspect him, his own brother, for trying to kill Namjoon. He was restless all morning, even skipped breakfast and for what? Everything went perfect.

Taehyung smothers your trembling form, running his hands up and down your back for comfort.

He wasn’t sure what he was going to do now. Should he wait for Namjoon to die? Maybe help him along the way? Or should he let him live and let this be a lesson to him?

Backing up, he cups your face in his hands. You were broken, continuing to weep as you settled into his fingers. Kissing your forehead, he rubs his thumbs across your cheeks, wiping away all the tears.

Well, whatever he decides to do can wait. Right now, your being nearby was all that mattered. In the end Taehyung wonders if he’s ever hated you. I mean, how was he supposed to know the one he hated was the man he shared a table with? The man who he shared a bed with out of scarcity? Maybe, subconsciously Taehyung hated sharing with the taller man at all. So much so, that all the distribution piled up in his mind until he could no longer stand it.

Maybe he hated how Namjoon took advantage of your generosity, knowing you were a busybody with a help everyone mentality painted across your forehead. He hated how many hours you spent talking to him. Going on and on about God knows what. And he absolutely despised how much time he got to spend with you on an average basis.

Maybe sleeping with you was just the last straw. He was done giving Namjoon anymore chances.

“Taehyung…stay with me tonight.” You whimper to him and he can’t tell those doll eyes no.

They’re his doll’s eyes, aren’t they?

“Of course, baby.” He replies in a low voice, smiling as you hug him once again.

It was all starting to make sense now. Namjoon was fighting for his life while you were holding onto Taehyung for dear life. This is karma for trying to take what belongs to him. Because at the end of the day, everyone knows Taehyung doesn’t give away his possessions. That he protects his property in his own twisted way.

He can’t help but think this is what the older man deserves – this that Taehyung shall refer to as Namjoon’s fair share.

After all, Taehyung hated him for many reasons.

#BTS #Taehyung #Yandere BTS #Yandere Taehyung #BTS Smut #Taehyung Smut #Taehyung x Reader

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lovelivingmydreams · 3 years

Text

A story by heroes and villains

Janus Bullard: Drift away

When you don't let people close, they tend to drift away. Janus seems to struggle to understand that.

Masterlist

When sophomore year started, Janus had few comforts in their lives. One, Virgil and uncle Lo and their parents. Their constant pillars of support and comfort. And two, they were really good at languages. Which boosted their confidence quite a bit. They breezed through the curriculum for Spanish of last year and studied the rest of the material in their free time, because learning it was fun to them. They already knew French, and by the time finals rolled around they got to take a special test that had effectively gotten them a free period where their language elective should be for the rest of high school. The school prided themselves on adjusting the curriculum to the level of the students. And the best performing students even got to go on a weeklong trip after finals were over. The rest of the school had showcase week. Which meant that all the clubs and electives got to show off their stuff. Janus was not particularly interested in the showcase. He didn’t participate in anything and he knew no one who would be showing anything. So he chose to go on the trip. Virgil didn’t come along despite qualifying. He didn’t want to leave his dad by himself for that long. It was very sweet really. Janus would have argued against it, but it occurred to them that maybe if they were away from Virgil for a bit, then the feelings would calm down and they could just come out and get back to normal without Virgil having to learn that they ever were attracted to him in the first place. It didn’t work. They missed Virgil a lot, to start with. Missing makes the heart grow fonder indeed. It really drove home for him how much he couldn’t stand to lose his friend. On top of that the guys that were with them on the trip were… not the best company to keep. It all started out well. Virgil had made him a special shirt to congratulate him with passing his advanced Language exams. It was a black shirt with a yellow print. A minimalistic open snake mouth on their chest with ‘hiss hiss’ above it. Scales scattered along the left side to match their marks. They loved it. It was a reference to Remus’ old nickname for them. ‘Snakeface’. From anyone else it would have been an insult. But Remus meant it as a complement. Their travel companions, from schools all over the city thought it looked bad ass. It was a great ice breaker if nothing else when they wore it on the first day. That didn’t last long though. On the second night they were talking with the other guys in the boys dormitory. One mentioned a cousin of theirs came out not too long ago. “And his folks actually let him stay. My parents cut ties right away. Can’t believe I used to play ball with a twink.” Janus just barely managed to hide how the word hit them. The other guys agreed and, as much as they hated it, so did they. To say that that was the last time they were confronted with the fact that if these guys were to get to know the real them, they’d make their week hell, would be a lie. And as they heard slurs and jokes about the LGBTQ+ community tossed around as if it was nothing, they started to wonder. Would their parents be okay with it? They thought they would. They’d never seemed to be against the community. They recalled hearing their mother gush about the cute pride stuff they’d spotted in the mall a few times. But accepting that other people were queer and accepting that their son was sometimes more like a daughter and also gay and aromantic… That was something entirely different. And Virgil? Saying you don’t care and actually having to live with the knowledge that your best friend was… broken… What kind of freak were they even that they couldn’t pick a gender? Why couldn’t they fall in love like normal teens? Virgil’d had plenty of crushes already. He’d admitted he hadn’t even told them about all of them! So clearly it wasn’t that hard. Except for them. Because they had to be messed up in every way possible. The way they looked, the way they felt, what they were… When they got home Virgil was at their bedroom door almost within ten minutes of them putting their bag down. “You’re back!” he grinned, excited to see them again. “Tell me everything! Was it worth it letting me die of boredom?” he teased, throwing an arm over their shoulder in a sort of sideways hug. Janus flinched away from Virgil’s proximity. Being close to him made them want to be closer. But still not in the way Virgil might understand. If they just kept him on arm’s length, then things would be ok… Right? Virgil let them go. It didn’t look like he found it odd that Janus wanted distance. Janus tried to remember last time he’d initiated a hug or anything of the sort… With anyone… Maybe they had been a little more distant lately as it was. Good, then it wouldn’t be too obvious if they pushed a little more. They had to. To protect Virgil, to keep him in their life. No one could know. They couldn’t risk it. “It was cool. Saw lots of awesome stuff. The guys were dumb though. Guess no one can replace you,” they smiled carefully. “Aw, J. You’re such a sap,” Virgil teased with a playful punch to the arm. Was that bad? Did straight guys say stuff like that to their friends? Were they being obvious? “Shut up,” he retorted with a push. Not mean. Just playful. That was still okay right? “Movie night?” Virgil suggested, holding up his bag with his part of their collection. Janus hesitated. They needed time. “I’m beat. Maybe some other time,” they shrugged. Virgil nodded. “Okay. See you later J!” And just like that Virgil was out the door. They let themselves fall onto their bed. They had to figure themselves out. Again. Summer passed and Janus found a system that worked for them. It wasn’t great, but it would have to do. They had bought a few cute tops they enjoyed on Janice days. So they wore those when they were needed underneath a baggy hoodie or something else that would hide it. If there was a chance of them needing to take off said ‘cover item’ they’d wear a shirt that was too big like the band shirt. In addition they made sure to act plenty masculine on those days. They hated that part the most. But it was needed. When it came to Virgil, since their problem was just physical all they had to do was make sure they weren’t too close. Which was easier said and done. Hugs and pats on the back and the like used to reassure them so much and now they were a risk. Even if they never acted on the thoughts when they appeared, Virgil might notice. So they had a plan. Not the best plan. But to keep Virgil with them. To keep them both safe. They would do it. First day of school came around and Janice found themself alone at the bus stop. Which was odd. Virgil wasn’t usually late… Maybe he accidently took a bus too early again. Was that going to be a first day tradition? Janice couldn’t be too upset by that. It was just so typically Virgil, and they already looked forward to teasing him about it later. What wasn’t typically Virgil however was him not texting Janice to let them know his mix up. Maybe he hadn’t realized he was early yet? Janice wondered if they should ask Virgil where he was… Better not. They’d see Virgil soon enough. And he’d probably feel bad if they made too big a deal out of it. Again, typical for Virgil, making everything his fault or responsibility somehow. When they got to school though, Virgil was nowhere to be found. He wasn’t in their homeroom either. Which Janice wouldn’t have found too odd. There was always a chance of homeroom getting switched around. But then the teacher handed them two schedules. One for themself and one for Virgil. Virgil was late? Was he sick? Janice looked at the schedules. They shared their first two classes and then they had language electives. Which meant Janice would have a free period while Virgil should be in Spanish. They promised themself to call if Virgil hadn’t shown up by then. Two hours late was a reasonable time to get worried right? They checked their phone as they walked to science class and took a seat. Virgil hadn’t texted at all. Was he ill? Should they text anyway? “Mr. Johnson. You may take a seat next to Mr. Bullard. Class will commence soon.” Janice, mentally cringing at the male honorific, glanced at the kid that just entered. Ugh, they remembered him. He’d had a locker not too far from his last year. He always got in their way, the amount of times he’d bumped into them was infuriating. And now he was about to take Virgil’s seat. But not if they could help it. “Ma’am, I was actually saving this seat for…” “No one. This is my class and I say Mr. Johnson sits next to you.” Janice was taken aback. Most teachers at least heard them out if he asked something. And in almost every case he got what he needed even if he didn’t always get what he wanted. This one didn’t even want to listen though. They glared at the boy… Carlton, if they remembered correctly, as he took the seat next to them. The boy shrunk away, he was trembling… Janice supposed they had been pretty rude to him last year. Not that they cared. It just would make being desk mates very annoying. Janice didn’t waste time on wanting others to like them.

“It’s your lucky day Mr. Castile,” the teacher said dryly the second the bell rang. No… Janice looked up, there he was. The school’s golden boy. He looked slightly out of breath, and smiled sheepishly. “Apologies miss,” he replied as he looked around, probably looking for an empty seat. For a moment his eyes found Janice and he was clearly about as happy as they were with Janice being here on the seat right behind the only empty bench. Janice had an extra reason to be upset though. Castile would be sitting next to Virgil. He took the seat next to the window, right in front of Janice. Janice’s thoughts were racing. How were they supposed to function with that idiot around? They hadn’t had to interact with him too often last year. And when they did Janice had made sure he knew that they saw right through the knight in shining armor act he put up for the rest of the school. He only acted like that to impress their classmates. He was in theatre. He lived for the praise. “I hope you like where you are sitting… Ah, so glad you could join us Mr. Anker.” Janice tensed up when they saw the way Castile’s head snapped up, a bright smile on their face. It was such a genuine reaction… Why though? He had enough friends. Why was Virgil so important that he seemed genuinely happy to see him? “Take your seat and spare me your excuses,” the teacher snapped when Virgil opened his mouth to speak. “I was just telling the class that these are your seats for the rest of the year. So I hope you like your neighbor, they are your new lab partner.” Virgil’s face fell and he looked around. His make up was gone and he looked a mess, but other than that he seemed fine. Janice would have to ask him what had happened this morning later. To their annoyance, Virgil’s gaze didn’t even make it to their seat. Once he spotted the empty seat next to Castile, he too, lit up. Why? What did Castile have that was so special? Other than a pretty face? They watched Castile wave at Virgil, getting rewarded with a smile from their best friend.

“Man, talk about a lucky break,” Virgil said as he sat down. That hurt. Didn’t he want to sit with them? They tried to calm themselves. Virgil had simply not noticed them. He wouldn’t have said that if he knew they were in this class too. “I agree,” Castile grinned. That smug piece of… He knew they were here. He was taunting them! Class started, and Janice managed to ignore the pair in front of them. They even calmed down. Found themselves a little amused at their neighbor’s not so subtle glances at the desk in front of them. They’d spotted the pride flag stitched in their assigned lab partner’s pencil case. Maybe they should lay off a little. Poor kid had a crush on Roman Castile. He had enough to deal with. But then the experiment started. They divided the work so Johnson wouldn’t have to talk with them too much. they did their best to focus on their part of the assignment. But it proved difficult. Virgil and Roman were doing every step together and they were having fun. They talked and joked with familiarity that told Janice that somehow, Castile had managed to weasel his way into Virgil’s life, despite their efforts to chase him away. Sure they’d overheard from conversations in the hallways that Virgil was still standing up to bullies and that the Hispanic teen had joined him on occasion. But had that really been all it took? Suddenly Virgil got up, bringing a paper to the front. Damn, they had to focus. They managed to block out their surroundings for a good while. Until Virgil’s laugh pulled them out. He was looking very comfortable, sitting there with the enemy.

“Only you can pull of talking like a Shakespeare character,” Virgil grinned. “Well, only you can pull off dressing like a dark knight and still looking like a lost kitten,” Castile shot back. Janice tensed. How dare he ridicule their best friend like that? Virgil gave Roman a shove. “You take that back!” he demanded “I am dark and mysterious and intimidating!” Janice had to interfere, before Virgil got himself in trouble. they took an empty page from their notebook, crushed it in their fist and tossed it against Castile’s head. Both boys turned to look at them. Their attention was on Castile though. “What gives Bullard?” he hissed. No, it wasn’t attractive when he got that serious and intense look in his eyes. He was annoying and a danger. He was going to hurt Virgil. Or take him away and then hurt him. “You take Smellington next time. Virgil is sitting with me.” It was a good solution. Castile would be unable to resist being a knight in shining armor, so Janice acted as if they were the big bad Johnson had to be saved from. Carlton got to sit next to his crush, and Janice and Virgil could sit together. Like they should have been. Everyone happy. “Excuse me? His name is Carlton.” Just as Janice suspected. There was the hero complex. “And you don’t get to say where I sit J. I’m fine sitting with Roman. Besides you heard the teacher. No switching seats.” That… What? Virgil wanted to sit there? And he was offended that Janice tried to help? “We always sit together!” they reminded him. They were a team right? Them against the world? They’d have each other’s back no matter what… Right? Virgil’s jaw set. “Exactly. The world won’t end because I’m Roman’s lab partner J.” Where was all this coming from? What had Castile been poisoning his mind with? “Am I interrupting?” Janice looked up to the teacher. She still didn’t look like she was in the mood to listen to Janice. But they had to try. “Mr. Bullard,” once again, that stung. “I don’t have you and Mr. Jonson’s assignment yet, which means you can’t be talking with anyone else besides each other right now.” Oh, she really wasn’t in the mood to listen. Against better judgement, Janice gave her their most charming smile. If they knew that they were being perfectly reasonable, people usually followed along with their way of thinking. “Ma’am, I can’t work with him. Virgil and I never had a problem in projects, can’t we…” “No.” Janice nearly flinched at the finality of that word. But the teacher wasn’t done yet. “I put Mr. Jonson next to you because you are much too dependent on Mr. Anker’s presence.” She’d done it on purpose? And dependent? What did she mean? They weren’t that… Had it been so obvious to outsiders? Did she know? “You won’t always be able to hide behind him Mr. Bullard. You better learn that now.” They hadn’t! They’d stopped hiding in middle school. They’d been trying to be the shield! “And if I see any more problems here then all that’ll change is that Mr. Castile and Mr. Anker will be moved to the front of the class so you can’t distract them anymore. Is that understood?” She had it all wrong. She didn’t understand. But Janice knew they couldn’t do anything about it. So they nodded and returned their attention to their assignment.

They finished up the last of their notes when Virgil laughed again. “Charming huh? You certainly have a high opinion of yourself.” Janice’s jaw clenched. They agreed, but Virgil’s tone was too playful. Like it was when he was teasing them. “Oh, my knight, why must you hurt me so?” Castile objected dramatically. Janice did their best to block out the rest of the conversation and focus on finishing the assignment with Johnson. Whatever was said between Castile and Virgil after that, it had him pretty excited.

He dragged Janice to the bathroom where he started to apply foundation and a two second version of his usual eyeshadow. “Where were you?” Janice asked on their way there. Virgil bit his lip. “Dad was home late yesterday and forgot to tell me…” he told them. Oh, now Janice understood. Virgil was the kind of guy who saw you fall and worried if you’d broken something while rushing you to the nurse no matter what you said. He worried a lot. He was a lot like uncle Lo in that way. His father not being his punctual self without warning must’ve been very stressful. “And you didn’t go to bed until you were sure he was safe and sound,” Janice nodded in understanding. “Yeah… I must’ve forgotten to set my alarm or something.” At this point they’d arrived in the bathroom and Virgil took out his foundation and started fixing up his appearance. Needlessly in Janice’s opinion, but they had bigger things to worry about.

“Listen, I’m sorry for being so snappy earlier. I know you worry about me and stuff but Roman is really not as bad as you think. He even invited us to sit with him and his friends during lunch!” he announced excitedly as he put away his make-up. “Then you'll see for yourself…” Lunch with Roman Castile and all his friends? All people who could discover their secrets? One slip up on a Janice day, one lingering look towards Virgil or Castile and they were out.

And being around not one, but two guys they found attractive… they couldn't bear it.

“Absolutely not!” they objected in a panic. “Jan, it’s just lunch,” Virgil argued gently. “If it’s not fun then we can bail on them any time. You are the one who’s so obsessed with our spot on the social ladder. What do we have to lose?” He made good points. And part of Janice wanted the protection a group like that offered. But Virgil didn't have the full picture. Janice cast their eyes to the heavens trying to hide the conflict within, to play off how worried and scared they felt. “I don’t expect you to understand this Virgil. But the offer wasn’t for us. Castile wants something from you. And he’ll have his friends be nice to me around you to get it.”

Virgil was clearly not impressed. “I know I’m not exactly mister sunshine, but that’s overly dramatic and pessimistic. Roman is cool. Like, genuinely. And if you gave him a chance…” “Oh please Virgil! You are not this naïve!” Janice exclaimed. Harsh in their desperation to finish the conversation.

“Why do you want his friendship so badly that you blind yourself like this?” Weren't they enough? What did they do wrong? “He can have anything from anyone he wants! Why would he want to be around some awkward outcasts?” Why did he insist on pursuing the only person Janus cared about at school? “Except to make himself look good? What end does that serve? Everything anyone ever does serves some selfish end Virgil. Even the most noble of deeds are ultimately out of desire to be seen as good.” Just because Janus hadn’t figured out what Roman Castile had to gain from talking to them, didn’t mean that there wasn’t some end goal. “Except for you of course, you only have my best interest at heart!?” Virgil’s statement caught them of guard. He had a point. Part of this was their fear of being alone, being found out and rejected. But it was also for Virgil's own good. They needed Virgil to understand that. To believe them. And so they did something they had been avoiding. They got close. Stepped right into Virgil's personal space. If they wanted, and Virgil hadn’t hidden them behind his foundation, they could’ve counted the freckles on Virgil’s cheeks. But now was no time for those observations. They had to get through to him. No matter what. “You are my only friend Virgil. Of course I want to protect you, even from yourself. Don’t let Roman’s flowery words and cute pet names get to you.” Kitten, knight. The nerve of that guy. “I give him a week before he gets bored of you. And I don’t want to see you hurt by that.” That last part was the most sincere he'd been about how he felt towards Virgil in what felt like forever.

All fight left Virgil’s frame and he nodded. Janice relaxed and led the way to their first CPR training. They made sure to wait for Virgil when he left Spanish. Virgil was quiet all day. He got like that sometimes after a disagreement. Janice tried to give him space. They had been a little harsh. And after Virgil had a rough night already. They knew he needed comfort and support on those days. No wonder he’d gravitated towards Castile this morning. All that positive energy probably drew Virgil in like a moth to a flame. Janice should have been more understanding. Maybe they could have a movie night next weekend. With V's favorite snacks and movies.

They’d make it up to him. And then they could get back to something somewhat normal.

It worked. Virgil seemed in better spirits after they suggested the weekend plans. Janus paid closer attention and ensured that Virgil wouldn't fall for Castile's tricks though.

They stuck together like always. Janus had started chatting with native Spanish speakers, learning more regional words and slang. They were also learning ASL. Virgil laughed when they explained the name signs they made up for him, uncle Lo and their parents.

Things were going well. Until Halloween came around. Virgil loved Halloween. He didn’t show it off at school, considering he put the least possible effort in his school costume the past two years, but when at home, he was a master. Janus had enjoyed watching him and uncle Lo dazzle the trick or treaters. They’d considered asking Virgil to give them a spook up as well, but that would mean close proximity for extended periods of time. And they couldn’t handle that. This year Janus had drawn some scales on their face and assembled a dragon costume. They’d even gotten crafty with the wings. Using a pair of children’s fairy wings as a base. Virgil had complemented them, which had made them feel pretty good about themselves. Virgil was texting with his dad that morning. Apparently he had a thing coming up that weekend and was rather nervous. Janus was happy to hear that their honorary uncle had exciting things happen in his life. They didn’t pry for more information though. Surely Virgil would’ve shared more if there was more to know. And then Castile had walked in. Looking ridiculously handsome even if he was trying to look like a crazed dark prince. Redish circles under his eyes, run out make up. As if he’d recently cried a river. His costume was dark and slightly torn and crumpled. And still he looked good. He made a big show of his entrance and made a tour around the classroom before climbing on his desk and continuing his tale of conquest. Janus, not immune to the boy’s massive charisma, made sure to glare at him so that if the prince would happen to glance their direction he wouldn’t give anything away. Glaring at the dark prince wasn’t hard, considering he also had his neighbor’s attention. Virgil was enjoying the show.

And apparently Castile noticed. He made a grand gesture towards Virgil. “And you, my coldhearted friend, may rule at my side!” Janus’ eyes narrowed. Was this the thing? Was Roman looking for a second in command? It was a good picture they supposed. The nickname ‘Knight’ suddenly made a lot of sense. It would fit. They both stood against the bullies, no doubt earning them both a good image in the public eye. If they were considered a team all the time, Roman’s spot on the social ladder would get even more secure. Was that it? “Is that a fact?” Virgil chuckled, pulling Janus out of his thoughts. Was he… Was he seriously going along with it? “Of course!” Janus hated how excited Castile seemed. “You, dear count, are the only other of noble lineage! No one else is worthy of a throne!” “But ruling sounds like a lot of work,” Virgil whined. Janus held their breath… But the laughter that followed… Wasn’t bad. Castile immediately rolled with Virgil’s contribution. “Then you may feast on my enemies!” To Janus’ great relief, the teacher entered in that moment. Their nerves couldn’t take much more than that. On the way to CPR Janus tried to get Virgil back with his feet on the ground. “You were lucky, but that could have gone so wrong!” they exclaimed. Virgil, surprised them however. “Roman and I are lab partners, and we’re going to talk,” Virgil reminded them. They knew that. But they got on fine with minimal communication with their neighbor. And Virgil had been doing fine too… Or… Well, maybe he hadn’t been happy about it… “And sometimes we’re going to have fun doing so. You have zero right to tell me who I can and can’t spend time with. I’m not your pet.” That hit Janus hard… Was that… Had they been acting that badly? Maybe they’d been too clingy. Overcompensating for the physical distance they’d forced themselves to maintain? They let Virgil walk to Spanish alone and spent their free hour thinking things through. Maybe they were a tad controlling… And Virgil talking to Castile a little during science might not be the end of the world… They could try to live with that right? When they saw Castile drag Virgil to his table during lunch they could barely breathe. Virgil looked so happy about it too. Had they been too late to make adjustments? Was this their life now? The very nightmare they’d tried to prevent? But then, Virgil and Roman made a bow and Virgil walked back to Janus. People watched him walk by the way Janus had seen them do with popular kids. They admired him? Was… Had Virgil become a popular kid without either of them realizing? “Talk about putting yourself on blast! What were you thinking?” they snapped, still reeling with emotions. “Yolo,” Virgil shrugged. And ‘cool’ was the only term Janus could come up with to describe the way he held himself right now. “No one says that anymore,” Janus pointed out, as if to convince themself that Virgil wasn’t that kind of cool. “It’s what I was thinking.” Or maybe he was… Janus tried not to bother Virgil about who he chose to hang out with after that day. It wasn’t easy though. Virgil and Castile were almost flirty with each other and Janus found that very distracting. Add that to everything else that frustrated them and you better hope you didn’t cross Janus on a Janice day after a bad night. They picked a lot of fights. Partly to prove themselves as a cis. Partly to vent these frustrations on something other than Castile. Speaking off. It was nearly always him or Virgil or both who stopped the fight. Roman would stare them down until they left. Virgil would tell them off and drag them away if need be. Both were… possibly… another reason why they picked a fight. Negative attention was still attention after all. On a particular bad day, a senior decided to pick on them. And they were not having it.

Castile and Virgil put a stop to that one. But the principal called them to their office anyway. “He started it,” Janice insisted. They were sitting in the office for a couple of minutes now, with the Principal just looking at them expectantly. “Oh? How’s that?” Janice gestured to their face. They’d gotten good at ignoring the jabs the past few years. Knowing that they couldn’t do anything against an upper classman and having bigger things to worry about. But today… Today it had just been too much. “It’s not the first time you got into a fight Janus. We want to help. But you have to let us. What is bothering you? Really. Why are you so angry?”

Oh, where to start? Janice just shrugged, not comfortable opening that can of worms in front of this adult. They wouldn’t understand. Janus heard they’d been vocal about their sexuality and gender since middle school. All they would do was tell them to just come out already. The principal sighed. “We’ll have to inform your parents of this Janus…” “No you don’t,” Janice stated. He wasn’t even scared. Stokes was a reasonable person. “Why’s that?” They wondered. “I didn’t hit him. And he didn’t hit me. No one got hurt. What’s the point of calling my parents? My grades are good, I never skip. So I don’t let people walk over me… Is that so bad?” they explained. Stokes frowned, but then relaxed. “Fine. But at least consider going to the school counselor. At least once. There are systems here to help you. You just have to ask.” Yeah, they’d get right on that. “Tanks Mx. Stokes,” they muttered as they left. A few weeks later Janus was looking over elective courses with Virgil. Janus had been careful about selecting courses for them. They could pick two courses each year. One every semester. First year, Virgil had made a deep dive into some articles about how messed up the education system was and how useless the curriculum was. So Janus suggested Personal Finances and Home economics. Which was basically the: ‘how to adult’ elective packet. This year they’d picked CPR, which Virgil had enjoyed a lot and Philosophy. They’d suggested it out of personal interest. They’d known it might not be Virgil’s cup of tea, but to their pleasant surprise Virgil had agreed. “Sociology would be a good choice,” Janus suggested, testing the waters. They really hoped Virgil would be okay with it. It seemed very interesting. Virgil only made a vague sound of acknowledgement though. Well, there were other interesting subjects… “I was thinking to take an art elective,” he told Janus after a few moments. Janus was surprised. Virgil never cared about electives before. And art? “Why?” “Because I’d like to actually learn some techniques? I dunno. They say to pick something that fits our interests. I’m interested in art.” Janus had no idea where the annoyed tone came from. Sure Virgil drew and he was good. But… To make it your elective? Virgil knew that those choices would affect their chances at getting accepted into college right? Especially for the next two years. “But we can’t do anything with that in college,” they reminded him, just in case. “I suppose it’s a decent extracurricular,” they admitted, wanting to find a compromise. But saying that reminded them. They should probably pick some good ones for the next two years as well. They looked good on application forms.

“But…” Virgil objected interrupting Janus’ musings on the pro and cons of joining a sports team. “I really want to do art. The new teacher is a pretty awesome artist I’ve been kind of following for a while. This might be my only chance to learn from him.” The arts program was heavily volunteer based, which allowed the school to offer many different electives and even more extracurricular. The teachers largely donated their time and switched around semester to semester. If this artist was indeed someone of note, they might be gone after Christmas. So on some level Janus understood. But why would Virgil need to spend a perfectly good elective on something he was already good at? He could probably teach the class himself. “Don’t be dramatic V. It’s not like you can make a career out of drawings,” they pointed out dismissively. Maybe they were a little crass. But Virgil couldn’t afford to live in a fantasy. Art was personal and showing it gave other people a weapon against you. And Janus really felt they should start picking electives based more on what they wanted their career to be. Janus was thinking journalist or lawyer for themselves. They weren’t sure what Virgil would pick. Last time they’d talked about such things was… Back when they still thought they were cis and straight. And they’d been joking about going into hero business. Daydreaming about opening a specialized store or becoming heroes themselves. But maybe Virgil would be a lawyer too. He’d probably like defending the little guy in the courtroom. He was already doing that in the hallways. Or some other function in law enforcement. Janus couldn’t imagine Virgil not trying to make the world a better place. “It makes me happy,” Virgil pointed out, though barely audible. Good, he was realizing there was no point to that class. “A career isn’t about what makes you happy, it’s about what gets you ahead in life.” And with that, Janus returned their attention to the electives. Not aware of the mistake they’d just made.

Mistakes

@cirishere @hestianerd1 @moonlightshow00 @naturallyunstablegamer @alias290 @meowthefluffy @frida0043 @angelic-cali @selenechris @theblackveilinreverse

#sanders sides #ts sides #janus sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #background prinxiety #tw homofobia #tw seldepriciation #tw internalized homofobia #janus makes bad choices #angsty

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jeongyunhoed · 4 years

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Just One Afternoon

Wooyoung/OC

I felt the “Just One” oneshots needed a third for some reason. Anyway, if you enjoyed Just One Night and Just One Day, here’s the third and last part set two more years later. As per usual, this is one looooooong conversation. Enjoy.

Wooyoung was standing in front of a full-length mirror, checking and double-checking his tuxedo in case there were creases that needed to be smoothed out. There he was, in a swanky waiting area in a hotel, the rest of his things in the corner, all ready for him to pick up once he left the place. He noticed some bits of confetti and rice still in his hair and he smiled to himself as he patted it out, the grains and the tiny pieces of paper falling off and onto the carpeted floor, reminding him once again of the biggest moment in his life that only occurred a few hours ago. The reminder of that moment made him look down on the gold band that was on his ring finger of his left hand.

After 4 years of dating and several months of getting engaged, Wooyoung and Jea got married. It was a very small ceremony, only filled with the people they held dear: Immediate family and their closest friends. Some tears of happiness were shed as the two of them said their vows, promising to stick together through thick and thin, no matter how many fights they’ve had (and they’ve had a lot), and no matter what kind of challenges await them. Everyone else were also left teary-eyed at their vows, but swooned at the giggly kisses they shared once they were declared husband and wife.

“Are you ready?” He called out to her.

“Yes!” Jea appeared, in a shorter version of her dress this time with the bits of her wedding gown carefully stored back into the box it came in. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah, the party’s over, everyone’s headed for home, but we’re staying here, aren’t we?” Wooyoung was beaming as he approached her.

Jea was smiling just as wide. “Yeah,” She wrapped her arms around him. “It’s just us left, but I don’t feel like going upstairs yet”

“Why not?” He kissed her cheek.

“I don’t know, I guess I just want to savor being down here, somehow I have this feeling that once we step out of his ballroom, it’ll all be different again,” She shrugged.

“It’s a good kind of different” He pressed his lips onto her forehead. “There’s also the honeymoon, and the rest of this weekend to ourselves” He mumbled against her skin. “Not leaving the suite until we need to check out?” She could feel him smirk.

“Or maybe walk along the poolside and just spend time together, like how we always do? Or whenever you get back from work at the studio?” Jea suggested, leaning up to kiss him. Wooyoung ultimately decided to leave his crew and teach dance at the studio they frequented instead. He had his worries about whether or not he would enjoy it, but he was pleasantly surprised after the first few days, realizing how he felt the same happiness being able to teach other people and kids as when he was dancing with his crew, and dare he even admit it, maybe even happier. It might have been because he knew he got to come home to Jea everyday, or getting to dance for hours without having to leave or even push himself further to worsen his injury.

“That too, you want to go for a walk? We should have the bellhop bring our bags upstairs” He said, and she nodded, the two of them linked together as they left the room.

“Was I a nightmare for a bride-to-be?” Jea suddenly asked him as they were by the pool that afternoon. The orange and yellow glow from the sun in the horizon cast an orange tint over the place “I wasn’t, right? Or was I?”

“You were a nightmare because you didn’t like the wedding topper I picked out” Wooyoung teased. “And you made me cancel a few classes because of wine tastings and food and the cake, and I usually enjoy all of those!” He chuckled.

“The wedding topper you picked had the bride and groom dancing, when they could’ve just stood still, it’s more timeless that way” Jea argued, laughing as well upon remembering. “Don’t you want our kids to have that topper when they get married?”

“Of course I would, but that makes it a fun wedding cake topper, if they just stood still, it’s too ordinary” Wooyoung squeezed her hand as they sat down on the chairs.

“Your mom talked to me before the wedding,” Jea smiled. “She wished me good luck because I now have to deal with you forever”

Wooyoung laughed out loud. “She did? Ah, my mom, she’s the best.”

“Your dad said the same thing to me as well” Jea added with a laugh.

It made him laugh even more. “Ah, my parents are the best. Remember how nervous you were when I finally brought you to them? You were dreading having to meet them but then when we all met, I didn’t want to say I told you so, but I told you so” Wooyoung teased. “I mean, I guess it’s because my older brother already got married that they’re a lot more relaxed when it comes to me and my younger brother.”

“You were just as fidgety when I had to introduce you to my parents!” Jea playfully slapped his arm. “You had this awkward smile that I can’t believe I saw” She shook her head. “They wondered if you were okay or if you liked the food or if you were just trying to be nice” She laughed.

“Your dad is a good cook! I really liked the food! As long as it’s edible, it’s good enough for me” Wooyoung tried to poke her side in an attempt to tickle her. “Now I know where you got your looks from, though” A grin spread across his face.

“I hope you mean that as a good thing” Jea raised a brow at him, making him chuckle and try to poke her side again.

“Of course I meant it in a good way, didn’t I tell you that you’ll always be the pretty girl I met on the train? Did you not listen to my vows earlier?” He teased, pretending to be hurt.

“Of course I heard you! It wasn’t like I was crying because I got hungry or something” Jea gave him a look, shaking her head. Her expression softened, and she took a moment to study his face again, from the mole under his eye, to the crinkles in his eyes when he smiled or laughed, and the way his lips curved whenever he smiled. It was a face she always looked forward to seeing every morning, afternoon, and night. She looked down at their hands and the rings on their fingers, promising that they would be together forever, with that promise made permanent. “I love you” She said softly.

Wooyoung felt the same way when he looked back at her. “I love you too. Let’s go to the cafe, some coffee would be nice” He said, tugging on her arm as he stood up.

Some of the servers and staff inside the hotel cafe looked at them fondly as they stepped inside the plush interior, sitting down at a corner seat. They didn’t care where they were seated, yet the staff pointed them towards the plush couch near the window that had a view of the city. The server for one, asked them if they got married and they said yes, and they offered to let them look through a selection of wine or liquor that went perfectly with the cake they were having.

“Do you think we’ll become those annoying couples that get lovey-dovey even if we’re with friends?” Jea suddenly asked, putting the menu down.

“We kind of are, but we haven’t been out with friends that much anyway, at least out with friends together” Wooyoung replied. “Do you think we’ll be like that?”

“I have a feeling we will,” Jea teased. “But I guess its a good thing we haven’t gone out with friends together. I wouldn’t want to annoy people, and I already annoy you.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, and I better be the only one who gets annoyed with you” He teased back.

“That’s an odd threat, Mr. Jung” She grinned.

“It’s a mutual threat, Mrs. Jung. We better be the only people that annoy each other.”

“Deal,” Jea held out her hand and he shook it, sticking his pinky out next, which she linked with hers. She watched him look back at the menu for the dessert he wanted to try. “I’ve always wanted to travel around a faraway place by train.”

“No you don’t, you just want to solve a murder that happens on that train” Wooyoung teased.

“That too. Plot twist, everyone did it, they all hated him, they all had a grudge against him somehow” Jea chuckled.

“You’d be a suspect too” He put down the menu and reached out for her hand to hold, lacing their fingers together.

“I wouldn’t, I’d be the one solving the murder,” She shook her head.

“You’d be a suspect of stealing my heart, that is” He winked, making her cringe. “You’d be the detective solving the murder, while I’m your charming, handsome, and ridiculously hot husband who’s helping you by trying to blend in and observe everyone else while you’re asking questions”

Jea snorted. “I don’t know, but would everyone on that train think you’re ridiculously hot, though?” She teased.

“Of course they would! Why wouldn’t they when I look like this?” He pushed his hair back and tried to do a sexy pose. Jea nearly cackled in her seat.

“Your confidence is something else, but I love you for it” She grinned, sitting back when the server returned with their drinks and her dessert, a creme brulee. Jea handed him another spoon. “Crack the sugar with me.”

A giggle escaped his lips as he took the other spoon, the two of them cracking into the caramelized dessert and dipping their spoons into the custard underneath.

Night had fallen, and they paid and left the cafe, walking down the hall and to the direction of the elevators. “Will you be able to put up with me for years to come?” Wooyoung asked.

“Mhmm” Jea nodded.

“Even if I get carried away while playing games?” He grinned.

“Yeah, even then, even if I have to put on earplugs whenever I’m asleep and you’re yelling at your computer monitor” Jea squeezed his hand.

“Good. Just trying to make sure” He teased as they stopped and pressed the elevator button.

“Will you be able to put up with me for years to come? Even if I get cranky in the morning and all of those things you get annoyed at me for?” Jea turned the question back to him.

Wooyoung turned to her with the biggest smile on his face and kissed her. “I look forward to it.”

#ateez #wooyoung #jung wooyoung #jeong wooyoung #welp i got carried away #sort of kind of

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phantasticworks · 4 years

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If You Don’t Love Me, Pretend - Chapter Six

Hi!! i hope everyone is doing well! I know I’m early (it is technically friday where I’m at while posting this) I hope you enjoy the chapter!!

read on ao3

Words: 11.8k

Summary: Dan and Phil finally get a placement.

Warnings for this chapter: swearing

It’s a few days before the beginning of summer break when Dan gets a call from the fostering agency. He was at work, cleaning out his filing cabinet and trying to clean up his office a bit, as he typically did at the end of every school year. He’d found a long time ago that he was generally more productive when he was listening to music, so he was listening to Troye Sivan’s latest album, humming along as he went.

In the middle of the chorus to “The Good Side”, his raucous humming was interrupted by a sound that was definitely not the soothing tones of Troye’s voice. He glances over at his desk to find his phone vibrating loudly against the wood, Hazel’s name flashing across the top.

Naturally, seeing that name, he dives for the phone, knocking a cup of pencils over in the process of answering it. “Daniel Howell,” he answers, cringing at how formal he sounds as he moves to sit down. He knew Hazel, why on earth had he felt it was necessary to say it that way?

“Hi, Dan!” Hazel’s cheery voice reaches his ear, and belatedly, he realizes the music is still coming from his computer. He turns down the volume while he listens to her speak, his mind already racing as he tries to conjure up reasons for her call. “So, I’ve got some exciting news for you,” she announces, clearly excited.

Dan is almost bouncing in his seat, hoping beyond anything that she’s got the sort of news he wants right now. “Yeah?” He attempts to be nonchalant, but he’s pretty sure that doesn’t land.

“Yes, is Phil there with you?” She inquires, the sound of some papers shuffling together filling the line for a moment.

“He’s not, no, we’re both at work. Is this… Does he need to be here for this announcement?” He chews on his bottom lip, his fingers tapping on the desk incessantly as he waits for her answer.

“Well, no, he doesn’t have to be, but sometimes couples like to be together when they’re informed of their first placement.” She pauses then, clearly to allow him a moment to process.

He drops his phone. He kneels on the floor and puts his face close to the receiver. “Sorry, I dropped my- we’re going to have a placement?” He blurts, unable to wrap his head around it.

Hazel laughs, and Dan can’t help but smile as well. “Yes, if you two are ready. There’s a set of twins who were removed from their home a couple months ago and they’ve been in temporary foster care since then. We’re looking for a more permanent placement, and I thought this would be perfect for you and Phil.”

Dan’s heart starts racing at this, and he almost feels light headed. He had been wanting to be a foster parent for so long, and to hear these words now was just incredibly gratifying for him. He could hardly wrap his head around the idea that this was really happening, they were really going to be foster parents. “Of course, we’ve been so excited to hear back from you. We couldn’t be readier, Hazel,” he says truthfully. As much as he was nervous, he really did feel that they were as ready as they could be for this.

“Great! Well, we want them to finish up the summer term at the school they’re currently at, so we won’t be dropping them off until next week.” Hazel continues, and Dan’s not certain, but he thinks he’s been put on speaker, because her voice sounds further away.

“Right, of course. Well that’ll give us plenty of time to fix up the other bedroom. You said they were twins?” He’s nervously tapping his foot as he waits for her response. Not that he didn’t want to foster more than one child at once, but he was admittedly a little bit nervous about fostering twins. He’d heard that it’s pretty hard to raise twins, and he’s silently hoping they aren’t teenagers; he wasn’t sure they were quite ready for that.

“They are, they’re fraternal twins, a boy and a girl. I’m emailing you their information, so you and Phil can look that over and sort of get to know a bit about them before we drop them off. We’ll be by next Tuesday to get them settled in, so just call me if you have any questions before then.”

Dan’s head is swirling with the new information, but he registers her words enough to respond. “Alright, I will. Thank you so much, Hazel.”

She sounds amused when she responds. “You two are going to do such a great job. These kids are going to be lucky to be in your life.”

Embarrassingly enough, this just about makes Dan tear up, so he quickly bids her goodbye before hanging up. He takes a moment to process the conversation he’s just had, but his only coherent thought is that he needs to call Phil immediately. Wasting no more time, he quickly pulls up his contact list and clicks on his best friend’s name, patiently waiting for him to pick up.

He glances at the clock and realizes that Phil might be in the middle of a show, although he desperately hopes that’s not the case, as he’d feel kind of horrible for calling him out of that.

Luckily, after a couple rings, the call connects. “Hey, Dan,” a voice that is definitely not Phil’s says casually.

It takes Dan a second to recognize the voice as PJ, but as soon as he does, he groans. “Hi, Peej. Can you give the phone to Phil? I’ve got something I need to talk to him about.”

“Oh, sounds serious. Are you two having a fight?” PJ drawls, clearly with no intention of giving the phone back. Surprising Dan even more is the lack of Phil’s voice in the background, begging to be given his phone back.

“No, of course we aren’t fighting,” he rolls his eyes. People needed to mind their own business. And by people, he meant PJ. “Or if we are, I don’t know it. Just give him the phone, please.”

PJ hums, seeming to consider it. “I do like please,” he muses. After a second, he sighs. “Sure, here’s your lovely fiancé, at your service. It’s been lovely chatting, Dan.”

Dan can only mutter back a simple, “You too,” before the phone is being shuffled around, probably changing hands.

“Hi,” Phil’s voice says quietly. Dan’s not sure what to make of this, but he figures he’d try to prepare him for what he’s about to say.

“Are you busy?” He asks. In hindsight, he probably could’ve asked this before calling.

Phil, apparently on the same page that Dan’s currently on, sighs. “You could’ve texted and asked me that before you called, Dan.”

Guilt slowly begins creeping in then, and Dan can’t help but apologize. “I’m sorry, I know. But this is one of those things that needed a phone call.”

He barely hears it as Phil sighs again, but he’s almost positive he does. “Well, I’m not on air this time, but try to text first next time, yeah?” He sounds annoyed, and this brings Dan to pause.

He doesn’t want to make this about him, and he definitely doesn’t want them to start fighting while they’re both at work, but he can’t help being a little offended at Phil’s attitude. “But... this is important.”

There’s palpable irritation in the way that Phil replies, too quickly, “Well, what is it?”

Dan takes a deep breath, trying to reign in his sudden burst of annoyance. Just because Phil sounded a little more annoyed with him than usual didn’t mean he was mad at him. And it was no reason to not be excited about what he’d called for in the first place. “Hazel called,” he says slowly, glancing up at his computer screen as he remembers she’s supposed to be emailing him the information for the foster kids.

This gets Phil’s attention. “She did? What did she say?” He sounds more like himself when he says this, and Dan smiles.

“We have a placement.” He doesn’t beat around the bush, because he knows how it had felt to hear the news from Hazel herself, and it was a rush of nerves to wait and see what exactly her announcement was, he didn’t want to put Phil through that as well.

The line is quiet for a moment before Phil responds. “Seriously?” He breathes.

Dan grins even though his best friend can’t currently see him. “Yes, seriously. It’s a set of twins. I don’t really know much else about them other than they’re fraternal, a girl and a boy. She’s sending me an email with their information, but I haven’t opened it yet.”

“Wow,” Phil says slowly. “Twins? We’re starting off with twins?”

“Yeah.” Dan swallows nervously. ��But we can do it, Phil. I really think we can do it.”

There’s a pause then before Phil speaks again. “Yeah,” he says softly. He goes to say something else then, but before he has the chance to, there’s a bit of commotion on the other end, and Dan’s almost positive he hears Phil swear under his breath. “Can I call you back later?” He says abruptly, the same annoyed tone from earlier back in his voice.

Dan frowns, confused. “Um, sure? Yeah, that’s fine.” He licks his lips then, pondering over whether or not he should ask about what’s going on. His curiosity gets the best of him then, and he can’t help but blurt out, “Phil, did something happen?”

He can hear a couple other voices, and then the sound of Phil asking someone to leave. Dan finds himself twisting the engagement band around his finger nervously, wondering if this has anything to do with him. “No, I just need to get back to work.” Phil says, voice flat, tight.

“Oh,” Dan says lamely. But his mind is racing, already filling with possibilities for why Phil seems so disinterested in his announcement. Had he changed his mind? Was the idea of raising twins with Dan just too much and he’d decided not to do it after all? Dan felt he was going to be sick with all the fears swimming in his head. “Okay… See you at home?”

“Yeah,” Phil’s voice softens a little bit then. “I’m really excited, Dan. I just… can’t talk right now. But we’ll talk when I get home, okay?” He sounds like he actually does feel a little guilty for ending their call so soon, but Dan’s not so sure that he really does.

“Okay-” The line clicks, dead. “Bye.” He’s left to just stare at his phone, beyond confused by whatever it was that had just happened.

~~~

If he had thought he was confused when the call ended, it’s nothing compared to how confused he feels when Phil gets home that evening, clearly pissed off, if his heavy footsteps and the way he throws his keys onto the table are any indication. Dan, who had been standing by the stove stirring a pot of rice, looks up at him with confusion written across his face. “Well hello to you, too, then,” he mutters, intending for it to come across light and joking.

He’s not prepared for the glare Phil sends him, and he very nearly stumbles back just from the look on his face. “Could you not have picked literally any other time to call me?” He demands, his voice full of irritation.

Dan furrows his eyebrows, dropping the spoon to fully turn and properly look at Phil. “What, earlier?” He asks, his eyebrows jumping up in surprise when Phil nods. “When? Before I had even found out about it? Or after, when I had been sitting on it for hours?” He’s beginning to get a little mad, with Phil acting like a complete dick about something he thought they’d both be happy about.

“Obviously not.” Phil rolls his eyes as if this is the dumbest thing Dan could have suggested. “But you could’ve given me some warning, and told me what it was about, so I could go somewhere private to have that conversation with you.” He’s practically seething at this point, stomping around the table to fetch a glass out of the cupboard.

Turning back to lower the temperature on the rice and stir it a bit more, Dan huffs. “Well, excuse me for being excited about this thing we’ve been working on for the past five months. I guess I’ll just let it be a fucking surprise when the kids come home,” he snaps, refusing to look over at Phil, even as he sees him turn around to look at him.

“Don’t even make this about that-“ he begins, stepping closer.

Dan’s heard enough at this point, his heart aching. “That’s literally what this is about! That’s all I called you for, was to tell you about the placement. I asked if you were busy. You could have told me you were, and I would have called back later.”

“You should have texted first,” Phil interrupts, crossing his arms.

Dan rolls his eyes at this. “Whatever, next time I’ll fucking text first. But it would be really fucking great if for once you could just let go of whatever shit you have against your coworkers knowing about your personal life and just be happy about what I called you for in the first place.” He turns on his heel when his voice cracks, and steps further from Phil, trying very, very hard not to cry

It’s silent in the kitchen for a long moment, and Dan starts to wonder if Phil is just going to give him the silent treatment. It would honestly suck if he did, because Dan knew he was stubborn and would likely be pretty unwilling to break the silence first. Which would be one hell of a bad way of starting off their first placement as foster parents, if it were to last until then.

Dan’s surprised when instead he hears Phil stepping closer before he feels a hand coming to press gently on the small of his back. He tries to stay still and not do something ridiculous like shiver, but he can’t do anything to control the warmth he feels rushing to his cheeks. He draws his bottom lip between his teeth when he feels Phil’s thumb drawing little circles over his t-shirt, paying very close attention to the pot of rice rather than focus on anything that Phil is doing.

“I’m sorry,” Phil says softly, surprising Dan with the sincerity in his voice. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

Dan just shrugs, trying hard to keep his face as passive as possible. He doesn’t want to admit it, but he’s pretty much over it already; but that wasn’t going to stop him from still feeling hurt, and a little annoyed. After a moment, in which Dan makes it very clear that he isn’t going to speak, Phil sighs before gently pulling the spoon out of his hand and setting it down, tugging on his arm so he has no choice but to look at Phil.

“Dan, I really am sorry. I was upset because PJ and Chris were in the room with me when you called, and then they heard what I was saying, and they didn’t shut up about it the whole afternoon, and just-“ Phil looks as if he’s pleading for Dan to understand why he was mad, and while he figured it was something along those lines, he’s still irritated that he had been on the receiving end of Phil’s anger.

“And that’s not my problem,” he interrupts, stepping away from Phil so his hand falls away from where it had moved to rest on his hip. A brief flash of hurt crosses Phil’s face before he covers it with something akin to pleading. “I didn’t mean to out you or whatever at work, but it’s not my fault that you make this separation between your home life and your work life.”

Phil looks a little shocked by this, and he opens his mouth to speak, no sound coming out. He looks a little lost for a moment, and he’s clearly struggling to formulate a response to that. Dan hates himself for it, but in a way he’s glad that he’s gotten the upper hand for once. Checkmate.

“Furthermore,” Dan continues, pointing at Phil. “You’d have to tell them eventually anyway, because what the hell are you going to do if something comes up with the kids we’re fostering and you have to leave work?” He sees the panic on Phil’s face, and though he’s not entirely sure which aspect of that scenario freaked him out, it does garner some sympathy. He steps closer again, but only to turn the hob off and set the pan to the side. “I’m not saying any of this to, like, be a dick. I’m just saying it because you need to look at it from my perspective. Pretend or not, we’re kind of a family now, okay? And I’d really appreciate it if you could act like that matters to you.”

Phil is quiet as he watches Dan cover the rice with a lid, suddenly losing his appetite after this conversation. He glances over at Phil again, finding him staring back at him already, his expression thoughtful. Without saying another word, Dan steps past him, their shoulders barely brushing as he goes to their bedroom. They clearly needed some distance for a bit, and after that argument, he was pretty sure he needed some space to have a bit of a meltdown.

He closes the door to the bedroom after walking in, a silent signal that he just doesn’t want to talk, but he doubts very seriously that Phil will actually listen to this. It wasn’t that he was totally inconsiderate, but sometimes he didn’t quite get the hint when it came to personal space.

Proving his thoughts to be correct, it’s only about twenty minutes later when the door opens slowly. Dan, laying on his back and staring at the ceiling, slowly looks to the side, raising his eyebrow at his best friend. Phil looks sheepish as he steps into the room, gesturing to the bed in question. Dan nods, moving his arm so Phil can sit next to him. He’d only expected him to sit, so he’s a little surprised when he lays down, mirroring Dan’s position.

They sit in a heavy silence for several moments, and Dan studies a spot on the ceiling, trying to decide if it’s just dust or a spider. He’s ignoring the fact that Phil is looking at him, trying very hard to instead keep his thoughts on literally anything else. He was already feeling emotionally drained, he really didn’t need the added stress of the heaviness in his heart with Phil so close and so far, all at the same time.

“Are you just going to pretend like we aren’t fighting?” Phil says softly, and Dan feels as Phil’s finger comes up to settle on his wrist.

Dan pulls his hand away, folding his hands over his stomach. He doesn’t turn to look at him, but he sees Phil’s hand reach forward, almost as if he’s going to try and touch Dan again. He must think better of it, because instead he drops his hand back to the bed.

It’s quiet for a moment before Phil sighs, shifting so that he’s facing Dan. “Can you look at me, at least?”

He doesn’t want to, but Dan slowly tilts his head, raising an eyebrow at Phil when their gazes meet. The older man frowns at him, looking conflicted as he bites his lower lip. “Looking at you,” Dan responds sarcastically.

Phil studies him for a minute, his blue eyes searching. Dan squirms under the scrutiny, feeling vulnerable all of a sudden, laying down like this. But he doesn’t want to sit up either, because then he’ll have to actively participate in this conversation, and he doesn’t want to do that either. “I don’t want to fight with you,” Phil says quietly.

Dan shifts then, his eyes darting back up to the ceiling as he shrugs. “No offense, mate, but I didn’t start this.” He tries to control the bitter tone in his voice, but he knows Phil takes note of it.

“I know,” Phil says, gently this time, as if he’s worried Dan will cry or something. “And I’m sorry that I started it. I… It isn’t something I want to make a habit of.”

“Good. Then don’t do it again.” Dan shrugs, allowing his eyes to flutter close. Maybe if he pretends that he’s drifted off to sleep, Phil will leave him alone and let him have a moment to process why this argument is upsetting him so much.

Sadly, he doesn’t get so lucky. “Are you still mad at me?” Phil inquires, shifting enough that Dan can feel the bed moving. He opens one eye to look at him, finding the older man propped up on his elbow to look down at him.

“No,” Dan says, voice clipped, eyes shutting once more.

There’s a pause before he feels something brush through his hair, and he tries not to shift away. He doesn’t want to be touched right now, not when they’re fighting. But it’s Phil, and he can feel his resolve crumbling, slowly but surely, especially when Phil begins petting his curls. “You seem pretty mad,” Phil muses.

Dan nearly snorts at this; it’s obvious he’s not entirely over their argument, but for some reason Phil saying this just makes him want to giggle. He doesn’t. He does shift slightly, just enough that he can pull his head away from Phil’s hand, hoping he gets the hint. He looks up at him through his lashes and finds Phil looking down, an almost hurt look on his face. “I’m not mad,” Dan sighs finally, rolling his eyes when Phil looks up at him.

“Yeah?” He asks, his voice sounding hopeful in a way that makes Dan’s heart clench.

“No, but I’m annoyed, and honestly, a little hurt.” He watches Phil closely when he says this, studying how his eyes drop down as his words register. It was probably cruel, but some part of him felt validated knowing that Phil felt guilty for being a dick. It made him feel slightly better, knowing that Phil really did feel bad for the way he’d acted, although this by no means fixed the issue or even meant that he wasn’t still mad; he definitely was.

“I’m sorry,” Phil says slowly, scratching his fingernails over the duvet. “I…” He shifts then, moving so that his face is pressed against the mattress. “I’m really sorry, Dan,” he mumbles, his voice muffled from the duvet.

Dan takes pity on him then, a heaviness settling in his chest as he watches Phil breathe deeply, looking to be on the verge of tears. He rolls over to his side, bringing his hand up to run his fingertips along the shaved sides of Phil’s hair, rubbing slow circles. “I know. And I forgive you. But saying you’re sorry doesn’t undo what I feel.”

Phil nods at this, seeming to get a grip on himself after a few moments. He slowly moves his head, and Dan pulls his hand back to his chest, watching Phil warily. He still looks vaguely like he’s about to burst into tears, but he must think he has it under control. “I know it doesn’t,” he pauses then, his eyes flickering away from Dan’s. “I really was excited when you called to tell me about the placement. I know I was a raging twat about it, but it’s all I’ve been able to think about since you called,” Phil admits, a light pink color dusting over his cheeks.

Dan allows a small smile then, feeling the heaviness in his chest retreating. “Yeah?” He asks pleasantly, tucking one of his hands under his head.

Phil nods, copying the position. “Yeah,” he responds softly. He looks tired, and Dan feels a twist in his stomach, something akin to guilt. It wasn’t his fault they’d fought, sure, but it’s his fault they were in the whole fostering mess to begin with. Pulling his mind out of this early spiral of self-loathing, Phil glances over at him, a timid look on his face. “Could we maybe… like, look at the email Hazel sent?” He sounds worried, like he’s unsure if Dan will be mad at this question.

Dan couldn’t be less upset about this, smiling as he nods and goes to retrieve his laptop from the kitchen. “Be right back.”

A minute later he’s walking back to the bedroom, his laptop held open in his hand already as he navigates to his email. Phil is sitting up against the headboard, under the duvet with Dan’s side pulled down. The brunette smiles as he slips under the blanket as well, settling next to Phil and shifting so that the screen of the laptop is tilted for him to see it.

“So, she sent me a page of their basic info, she said we’d get more of their information and a photocopy of the birth certificates when she drops them off next week.” He scrolls until he sees the file he’s looking for, clicking on it quickly so they can look over the information together.

“Did she say what day it would be?” Phil asks then, shifting closer to Dan and pushing the screen forward a little, probably to get rid of the glare.

Dan nods, trying to ignore the way they’re pressed together from hip to shoulder. He folds his legs over one another, trying to stay as much in his space as he can. “She said it would be Tuesday when they drop them off. Will you… um, are you going to be at work that day?” He chews on his lip as he waits for a response. Naturally, he wasn’t really expecting Phil to be willing to just up and skip work for this, but a selfish part of him kind of hopes that he does.

Surprising Dan a little, he actually shakes his head. “No, I have some extra holiday time, I can take the day off.” He’s scanning the information they’d been sent, but he seems to feel Dan’s gaze on him, and he tilts his head slightly, just enough to meet his gaze. Whatever he finds there makes him smile a little, nudging Dan’s arm gently. “I want to be here with you when they get here, Dan. I’m not just going to leave you to do it by yourself.”

Dan can only offer a small smile in response. “Yeah, right,” he says lamely as he turns his eyes back to the screen. He bites his lip. He really wasn’t expecting that, so he’s not entirely sure how to respond. Instead, he just reads over the words on the screen. He hadn’t actually looked at it yet, so he wasn’t sure what he’d find there.

He reads quickly through the beginning, just Hazel informing him what the email is about. Below that is a set of names and a birthdate. Below that is a list of allergies and known health issues, and at the bottom of the page there’s a picture. Dan tries to keep his emotions in check but seeing the picture at the bottom of the screen inexplicably makes his throat tighten with something he can’t identify.

Jaiden Alexander Young Amelia Grace Young Birthdate: 18 April 2011

Allergies: strawberries for Amelia, none for Jaiden (or otherwise unknown) Health Concerns: none known at this time Parents rights are currently being investigated, no visitation has been granted Assumed placement term: 8 months

He reads through it twice, repeating the names in his head over and over again. Jaiden and Amelia. They were only six years old. Dan feels overwhelmed. He doesn’t even remember being that young, he would have no idea how to care for someone that age, especially two of them.

“They’re adorable,” Phil whispers beside him.

Dan allows his eyes to drift to the bottom of the screen to find the picture of the children, who are wearing matching navy shorts and tops. The girl is looking towards the camera, but the boy, who is a little taller, is turned to look at his sister. Dan feels a tightening in his chest looking at the picture, a strong indicator that he’s about to start crying. He has no desire to cry tonight, so he pushes the laptop over to Phil, swallowing hard as he tries to think of anything else besides what these children might have had to go through.

“You okay?” Phil asks softly, glancing away from the screen to look at Dan, a concerned look on his face.

Nodding, Dan shifts to lay down on his side, facing away from Phil. “Just… tired,” he mutters, struggling to speak around the lump in his throat.

There’s a silence, only interrupted by the sound of Dan’s laptop being shut. He stiffens when he feels one of Phil’s hands fall on his shoulder as he leans over him to place the MacBook on Dan’s nightstand. Dan squeezes his eyes shut, silently praying that Phil will just set the damn thing down and put some distance between them. After the rough day they’ve had, he didn’t want to feel so overwhelmed with Phil’s presence.

Phil carefully sets the laptop on the nightstand before leaning away from Dan, but he doesn’t even have a moment to feel relieved before he’s feeling the unmistakable feeling of a forehead pressing against his shoulder. A shiver runs over him, but he suppresses it enough that he feels Phil doesn’t notice. “Night, Dan,” Phil whispers into his shoulder before pulling away.

His skin feels noticeably colder in Phil’s absence, but he takes a deep breath and tugs the duvet up over himself. As he does he notices the silver band still on his hand and hurries to tug it off and leave it on the nightstand, out of his sight. Today had been a long day and he was exhausted, physically and mentally. Ignoring his heavy heart and the swirling thoughts about their placement, he forces himself to fall into a dreamless sleep.

~~~

Over the next couple days, things pass by in a sort of blur for Dan. He and Phil order a new twin bed and some other furniture for the second kid’s bedroom, which luckily comes in on the Friday before the kids are due to be dropped off. Dan orders another set of rather gender-neutral sheets, refusing to buy anything that conforms to modern day gender roles before they’ve even met the children. Phil teases him about this as he listens to his rant but doesn’t say a word when the sheets come in and Dan asks him to make the bed.

When Tuesday finally comes around, Dan is a nervous wreck.

“Dan, please sit down,” Phil grumbles into his hands from where he’s sat at the kitchen table.

Dan was pacing the room, his fingers running repeatedly between his hair and his mouth. “I can’t,” he mutters through clenched teeth, biting savagely at his index fingernail.

Phil sighs deeply and moves his hand to prop his chin up, staring at Dan with an unimpressed look. “Dan,” he repeats, voice hard. He looks pointedly at the seat across from him, his demanding tone leaving very little room to argue. Dan sits quickly, his face a little flushed as he does. Phil watches him carefully, a small smile tugging at his lips when Dan drops his head to his hands. “Hey, it’s okay,” Phil says gently, his hand brushing Dan’s wrist.

“I’m just nervous,” he mumbles, allowing Phil to pull his hands away. He has no choice but to meet his gaze then, and he doesn’t want to, afraid that Phil will definitely be able to tell just how nervous he really is.

“I know,” Phil says simply. “I’m nervous too, you know.” He smiles then, and Dan’s eyes fall to where their hands are resting on the table, Phil’s fingers gently stroking along the back of Dan’s hands comfortingly. “But we’re going to be fine, Dan. I think we know enough to be decent foster parents.”

Shaking his head, Dan can’t help but laugh without humor. “That’s not what I’m worried about, Phil,” he admits.

Phil looks confused upon hearing this, his eyebrows furrowing. “Well, what are you worried about?”

It’s quiet for a moment as Dan tries to collect his thoughts, staring down at their hands as he thinks. Phil’s engagement band really did complement his skin tone pretty perfectly, and just the thought makes Dan a little annoyed. As soon as the thought crosses his mind, he pulls his hand away and forces himself to think about the fact that they’re only minutes away from being responsible for two small children.

“What if they don’t like us?” He blurts, tugging his hair a little harder than he’d intended.

Phil stares at him in silence for a moment, a perplexed look on his face. “Um… what?” He laughs awkwardly, but Dan just shakes his head.

“I’m serious! We’re not really clear about what happened with their parents, what if we do something that they hate, but we don’t realize they hate it so then they just begin to resent us, and- and what if it’s just me? What if they realize I don’t know what I’m doing, and then they just hate me!” Dan moves to grab his hair again but shakes too hard and effectively just punches his own face. He drops his head to the table with a loud bang and tries not to scream.

Another concern finds his lips like a slap.

“Dan, hang on, just-“

“What if they’re homophobic, Phil? Like what if their parents are bigots and they hate us because of that? Oh my god, Phil, we can’t-“

“Dan!” Phil shouts, his expression concerned but bordering on amusement with the small smile he has on his lips. “I don’t think any of that will happen, okay? But if it does, we can cross that bridge when we get to it. Okay? Think about all the good, instead. They’ll have nice rooms, and we can take them shopping to find some things more suited for their taste. They’re not going to hate us, Dan.” His hand brushes against Dan’s but this time he doesn’t linger. Dan almost wishes he would.

“But how do you know that?”

Phil shrugs at this, but before he can answer, they’re interrupted by the sound of someone knocking on the door. They’d given Hazel the code to the building after one of the first home visits, so the sudden knock makes Dan jump. Dan sucks in a deep breath, the butterflies in his stomach doing some kind of acrobatics. Phil smiles at him reassuringly as he stands. “Come on, can’t back out now.”

Swallowing hard, Dan nods and follows Phil to the door, his hand itching to reach out and take Phil’s. It’s a completely ridiculous desire, but he knows that it would only feel comfortable to have that physical contact, that’s all. “I’m nervous,” he whispers just as they reach the door.

Phil glances back at him, his hand hovering above the door handle. “Somehow, I had figured that out for myself, Bear.” The smile that brightens up his face then is enough to make Dan’s worries seem a little silly, and he only nods before watching as Phil swings the door open.

Hazel stands on the other side with a medium sized suitcase on the floor by her feet, a file folder in her hand. She wears a bright smile, looking more than pleased to see them. Dan can’t help but look straight past her, however, at two children standing together, each of them wearing a backpack. They both have raven black hair and quite pale skin, and their eyes are a matching brown. Both of them are looking towards the floor when the door opens, but after a moment, Dan watches as they slowly look up. He gives them a tiny wave.

“Hi, Hazel,” Phil greets pleasantly, reaching forward to shake Hazel’s hand.

“Phil, Dan, it’s good to see you both,” Hazel responds brightly, shaking Dan’s hand next. His eyes barely leave the children, though, and Phil probably notices this, judging by the way his hand comes up to rest on the small of his back. “This is Amelia and Jaiden. They’re both a bit quiet, but I’m sure they’ll warm up to you fairly quickly.”

Dan shares a look with Phil, and he strokes Dan’s back reassuringly, nodding to the children. Taking a steadying breath, Dan smiles at Hazel before turning to the kids, crouching down so he can see eye-to-eye with them. He hopes this doesn’t seem condescending, but he’s well aware of how tall he is, and he doesn’t want to overwhelm them. “Hi,” he says quietly. Jaiden shifts, twisting his feet around a bit as he avoids Dan’s gaze. Amelia, on the other hand, looks straight at him, her eyes looking rather inquisitive. “I’m Dan, and this is my fiancé, Phil.”

“Hi,” Amelia says softly, glancing between Dan and Phil.

Smiling slightly, Dan glances up at Phil quickly to gauge how well he thinks this is going. The older man nods, grinning. “We’re really excited to have you two here,” Phil chimes in then.

“We are. Would you guys like to come in and put your things down? We can show you to your bedrooms.” The children slowly nod at Dan’s suggestion and he smiles before standing up and gesturing for them to come inside.

“Hazel, are you staying for a bit? I can make some tea, or coffee if you prefer,” Phil suggests, moving down the hall and taking the suitcase with him.

“Actually, I can only pop in for a minute. I feel that the two of you are very capable of taking it from here, I’ll just take a look at the bedrooms first if you don’t mind.”

Phil smiles and nods, turning to face Dan. “Lead the way, love.” His voice is soft and the gaze he sends Dan is full of understanding.

Dan bites the inside of his cheek, wincing with the effort it takes not to break into a ridiculously wide smile. “Right this way, ladies and gentlemen,” Amelia smiles uncertainly at the overdramatic way that Dan begins marching towards the first bedroom. He doesn’t miss the fond shake of Phil’s head as they pass.

There were two bedrooms downstairs in this flat, one of which was theirs, and the other was meant to be for one of the kids. “So, Dan and I didn’t want to pick out a lot of things for you, so after you see the other bedroom you guys can decide who gets which one, and we’ll be going shopping soon so you can pick out some things that you actually like,” Phil informs as they walk down the hall to the first bedroom.

“That’ll be fun, right, guys?” Hazel asks, her lilting voice affected brightly to amuse the kids.

They nod slowly, both of them trailing along behind Dan, clearly feeling nervous. Jaiden seems to be the really quiet one out of the two, but Dan does notice that he seems to be very interested in Dan’s hair, staring up at it with a kind of wonder on his face. He files that away for later. “For our first room, we have a hand-crafted, selectively selected, artisanal bedroom with slightly odd furniture, and at a low rate of just zero pounds a month, it can easily belong to either of you,” he announces in his best imitation of an auctioneer.

Amelia glances at Jaiden before smiling, her hand sneaking up to cover her mouth. Jaiden grins, and Dan feels his own smile stretch across his lips, feeling incredibly proud of himself for getting this kind of response from his lame jokes. He waves them in first, allowing both children to take a look around as he steps to the side, allowing Hazel to pop in for a look as well. Phil stands just outside of the bedroom, leaning against the door frame. Their gazes meet, and Dan’s chest fills with a fuzzy feeling at the comforting familiarity of those blue eyes meeting his amidst all the newness.

A quiet voice grabs their attention from inside the room then, effectively cutting off their staring. “So, we’ll have a whole room all to ourselves?” Jaiden asks, his brown eyes shifting to meet Dan’s.

“Yeah,” Dan nods, tucking his hands into his pockets as he watches Amelia go to sit on the bed, her face one of surprise as she surveys the room. “It obviously looks kind of boring and plain right now, but we’ll let you guys pick out your own duvet and some decorations, so you can make your rooms your own.”

Hazel smiles over at him from her spot beside the dresser. “I think that’s a lovely idea, right, Amelia?”

The little girl had been quiet since they entered the bedroom, and Dan begin to feel those same familiar nerves from earlier coming back in. What if she hated it? He hadn’t even considered that they might hate where they’re living, but he was definitely worried about it now.

Relieving him of this worry, however, she nods, rising from the bed and lacing her fingers together in front of her. “Mhm, it is,” she agrees easily enough. This doesn’t completely erase the nervousness he suddenly feels, but it does help a little bit.

“You guys ready to see the next room?” Phil inquires then, glancing at Dan with a raised eyebrow. He has a knowing look in his eyes, and Dan turns his gaze away, really hoping that Phil hadn’t realized how nervous he was again.

“Yeah,” Jaiden nods, glancing over at his sister, who copies the motion.

“Great, let’s head upstairs, kiddos,” Dan instructs, gesturing for them to follow him out of the room and to the stairs. Phil shoots him a look when he passes, but he only shakes his head slightly. He was perfectly fine, thanks, he didn’t need the concern. He was just freaking out a tiny bit, but for the most part he felt quite stable.

Dan goes through another set of theatrics as he leads them all up to the second bedroom, which is only slightly smaller than the first, but with pretty similar furnishings. After taking a look around the room, Hazel steps back out into the hallway to give the kids a moment to look around and decide what they wanted to do.

“So, what do you guys think?” Dan asks, leaning back against the dresser. Phil was stood leaning against the doorway, both of them watching as the twins glanced around at the room.

“I like the bedroom downstairs,” Jaiden says quietly, glancing away from his sister when she immediately shoots him a look.

Dan’s not sure how to interpret her expression, but he notices the hurt look on her face as she glances away. His stomach drops, but he’s not entirely sure what to say to that. “Alright… Amelia? What do you think?” He tries, watching her closely. The last thing he wanted to do was get off on the wrong foot right away if she got the room she didn’t want.

“I like this one,” she says quickly, glancing away when he tries to meet her gaze.

He shares a look with Phil, who looks a little confused. Sighing, but too uncertain about what the problem actually is to even start to attempt to fix it, Dan only nods. “Great! That was easy. We won’t be hosting a gladiator fight, and I gotta say, that’s a relief.”

Phil shoots out an elbow towards him then, catching him in the soft part of his side. “They don’t know what that is, love,” He says calmly, as Dan staggers back.

“My kidney!”

Phil ignores him, sharing a quick secret smile with Jaiden and Amelia. “You can just leave your backpacks in here if you want, and we’ll all go downstairs, okay?”

~~~

Hazel doesn’t stay very long after the house tour, just long enough to give them some important paperwork and give each of the kids a hug and wish them the best. She also hugs Dan and Phil, reassuring them that they’re going to be fine. The moment the door shuts behind her, however, Dan can feel the panic welling up. They were proper alone now, it was just them and these two children.

Phil, psychic abilities and all, seems to sense this almost immediately, and puts a hand on Dan’s hip when they’re left alone. “Bear, take a deep breath. We’re okay, I promise.” He squeezes gently, his thumb stroking along the hem of Dan’s t-shirt.

Dan forces himself to breathe deeply for a moment before nodding. He could maybe not ruin this. They’d be fine. Phil was right here with him, and they’d be fine. “Okay.” He lifts his gaze to meet Phil’s and finds a soft understanding there that has his throat tightening. “Um, should we make some dinner?”

“I think so, yeah. Probably shouldn’t start off on take away.” Phil’s hand falls away as he goes to make his way back to the lounge where they’d left the twins, and Dan frowns.

“Yeah, sure. Um… Pasta, maybe?” He suggests, following Phil.

Phil shrugs. “We can ask them to help decide.” Just as he says this, they step into the lounge and find both of the children looking around the room, perched on the very edge of the couch. “How do you two feel about some dinner?” Phil asks cheerfully, clapping his hands together to get their attention.

The twins share a look before nodding fervently. Dan has to stifle a giggle at this; they looked about as excited at the idea of food as he and Phil usually were. The thought that they’d have things in common with them causes a flurry of warmth to rise in his chest. “What are you guys in the mood for? We can make spaghetti, or some fried rice, or...” he trails off then, glancing at Phil. “You went grocery shopping last, mate, I’m not sure what else there is.”

Phil rolls his eyes fondly at this before motioning for the kids to follow him. “C’mon, I’m the king of the kitchen around here, I’ll find us something to cook.” He sticks his tongue out at Dan as he passes, and Dan crosses his arms petulantly. This interaction makes both of the children giggle, and he smiles as he trails after them and into the kitchen.

“That’s a dirty lie! Phil once almost burned the building down by putting a pizza box into the oven! I’m the chef round these parts.” He says the last part in what he hopes is a convincing Western accent.

“Hey!” Phil protests at this, glaring over his shoulder at Dan. “I’m not the one who didn’t realize you had to cook pasta in water, Howell,” he teases, his tongue poking through his teeth.

Dan may accidentally pinch his arm when he reaches around Phil to peruse the cupboard, but it’s likely just an accident. Probably. “How do you guys feel about spaghetti?” He asks, glancing back at the children, who have taken their seats at the table. Dan feels a little strange then, seeing them sitting there as if they just belong. It does something funny to his heart.

The two children share a look before nodding slowly. Dan’s beginning to notice a trend in the way they only make decisions together, and he idly wonders what their story is. He knows better than to ask, especially with them being so young. If they want to talk about it, they can, but he isn’t going to push.

“Great. Phil, can you get the sauce and noodles out of the cupboard?” Dan requests, retrieving the pots they needed before going to wash his hands.

“Yep. Do we have beef in the fridge?” Phil stops then and looks over to the twins. “Do you two have any specific foods you don’t like? Is ground beef something both of you will eat?”

Dan glances up to catch their response, surprised to see Amelia answer almost immediately. “We’re not very picky,” she says quietly. She glances over at her brother then, who nods.

“I don’t like broccoli,” he adds, his nose wrinkling as he says this.

Phil smiles, moving to the fridge to see that they have what they need in there. “I can see why. They look like nasty little trees.” He makes a face and shivers dramatically, as if he’s completely disgusted. Dan rolls his eyes at this, setting the pot of water down on the hob before adding the spaghetti.

“Right, well, thank you, you’ve ruined broccoli forever,” he teases, rolling his eyes playfully at the kids when he passes the table to get a spoon before going back to stir the noodles.

Phil shrugs as he shuts the fridge door, coming over to hand Dan the package of ground beef. “Broccoli was already ruined, Howell. Want me to do anything?”

Dan nods to the kids. “Do you guys want something to drink? We have Ribena and apple juice, or water, if you’d prefer that.”

There’s a pause when they look at each other, clearly unsure. “Um… Ribena?” Amelia says, almost sounding like a question rather than a request.

“Sure. Phil, can you- thank you.” Phil’s already pulling the glasses out and pouring a little bit in each one, glancing over at Dan inquisitively as he reaches for another cup. Dan nods. “Thanks,” he murmurs a minute later when Phil hands him his drink, barely glancing up from where he’s working on putting the ground beef in a pan to brown it.

“No problem. Here you go. Do you guys want some straws?” Phil asks, sounding suspiciously excited. Dan’s eyes narrow a bit at this, because he was fairly sure they didn’t even own straws.

Too late to correct him, both of the children are nodding, albeit a little uncertainly. Phil grins and steps over to the drawer closest to Dan, gently pressing a hand against Dan’s waist so the drawer doesn’t hit him when he pulls it out. Dan watches in vague amusement as Phil pulls out a pack of twisty straws, the reusable kind that are probably a pain to wash. But the pride on Phil’s face is something Dan can’t even really be annoyed with, although he does try.

“Phil,” he whines out. “Did you seriously buy crazy straws? How long have you had those?”

Phil bites his lip as he holds the pack out to the twins, allowing them to pick the one they want. He bats his eyelashes at Dan innocently, making the younger man roll his eyes. “I ordered them a couple weeks ago. They change color, Dan! Look at this!” He picks one out after the kids hand him the package back, dropping it into Dan’s cup with an explosion sound. Dan watches, unimpressed, as Phil takes a long sip, grinning around the straw. It does, indeed, turn from blue to pale yellow where his lips touched it. Dan finds himself unable to look away from it.

“You just drank out of my cup,” he deadpans, dropping his spatula to cross his arms over his chest.

“I did.”

“I don’t suppose you’ll be getting me another one?” Dan asks, watching as Phil’s eyes cross as he watches the liquid race up the loops in the plastic.

“Nope,” Phil replies, popping the ‘p’ as he hands the glass back to Dan. “Try it, it’s so much fun!”

Dan stares at him for a moment, a feeling of overwhelming fondness in his chest. “You’re a child,” he says, his voice unintentionally soft.

Phil shrugs. “Do it, you know you want to.”

His nose wrinkling, Dan takes a sip, the loops in the straw causing the liquid to take longer than he’d like before it reaches his mouth.

“Down it, fresher,” Phil grins, bumping his hip against Dan’s as he picks up the forgotten spatula to take over.

Dan rolls his eyes before turning to look at the kids, who are watching with somewhat amused expressions. “Do you guys like the straws, or do you think they’re lame?” He asks, pointing to their cups.

Amelia shrugs. “I like mine. It’s blue and purple.” She takes a sip after she speaks, her eyes crossing the same way Phil’s did as she watches the drink slide up the straw. Something about the parallel makes Dan giggle.

Jaiden is studying his straw carefully, and Dan tilts his head at him. “What about you, Jaiden? You don’t have to use it if you don’t want to.”

The boy glances up quickly at this, shaking his head. “I like mine, too,” he says, his eyes flicking back to the cup. “It matches my cup.” He gestures to the blue and green cup he’d been given, which actually does match the green straw.

“Yeah it does,” Dan laughs, taking another sip of his own before glancing down at the pan that Phil’s stirring. “You’re making a mess, shove over.”

Phil sighs, but relinquishes the spatula. “I can put plates out?” He suggests.

Dan nods at this. “Mhm, please.” He glances over at the kids when Phil turns around, wondering how to approach any sort of conversation. They’re six years old, so he feels a little out of his element here. He tries to remember what he talks about with Louise’s daughter Darcy, who’s around the same age. He blurts out the first thing he can think of. “So, what are your favorite colors?”

The twins seem a little surprised by the random question, but don’t take long to answer. “Purple, I think,” Amelia says, pointing at her straw.

“Yeah? That’s a good color. I tried to dye my hair purple once,” Dan admits, shaking his head wistfully.

“Emphasis on the tried,” Phil chimes in helpfully, setting four plates out on the table. “Jaiden, what’s your favorite color?”

Jaiden shrugs. “Blue or sometimes orange,” he murmurs, barely glancing up from his cup.

“I like blue, too,” Phil responds with a smile, reaching around Dan to get the utensils. Dan can’t help but think he’s pressed awfully close to his back, but he doesn’t give any indication that it bothers him, because truthfully, it doesn’t.

“Can I get a red duvet?” Amelia asks timidly, folding her legs underneath her and leaning against the table. Dan goes to tell her to sit properly but changes his mind at the last second. These kids have obviously been through a lot lately, and there would be a time for a chat about rules and things later. Tonight, it could slide.

“Sure, if that’s what you’d like. We’ll go shopping this weekend, I think.” Phil places the utensils out with the plates before stepping back toward Dan, pressing against his side lightly. Dan hands him the spatula for the ground beef before stepping over to drain out the spaghetti noodles.

“We can go Thursday, if you want,” Dan adds, mainly only speaking to Phil. The older man glances over at him with a raised eyebrow. “I figure we should at least get their duvets and things like that as soon as possible.”

“Right,” Phil replies. “Do you want to take them on your own?” He asks, his voice holding an edge that hadn’t been there before.

Dan shakes his head, his eyebrows furrowed. “No, I want you to come with us.”

Phil frowns down at the pan in front of him. “I have a radio show Thursday, so I’m not sure how late I’ll be,” he says, quieter than before. He sounds almost offended, but Dan realizes his mistake.

“Oh.” He moves back to the stove after draining the pasta, placing the pot down and turning the hob off so it doesn’t burn without the water. “I didn’t realize. We can go this weekend, then.” He doesn’t really think about it before pressing his hand to the small of Phil’s back and rubbing circles with his thumb gently. “I just forgot that the show was on Thursday now, is all. I want you to help us pick things out,” he says softly, sincerely.

“Alright,” Phil nods, biting his lip as he glances over at Dan, a small smile on his face. “Do you want me to finish this up?”

“I’ve got it.” Dan shakes his head, waving Phil off so he can finish with the spaghetti sauce.

Phil grabs Dan’s cup and begins slurping loudly, causing Dan to roll his eyes. “So, very important question here,” Phil says, spinning around to face the kids. They look suddenly very nervous, and he smiles warmly. “What are your favorite animals?”

Amelia’s eyes widen, and she shifts in her seat. “Puppies!” She says almost immediately. Phil turns to grin at Dan, waggling his eyebrows. “I always wanted a puppy.”

“Yeah? How about you, Jaiden?”

Jaiden shifts a little on his seat, considering it. “I kind of like pigeons,” he says slowly, glancing out the window that looks over the balcony. “And giraffes,” he adds.

Dan laughs at this. Children were interesting, that’s for sure. “Well we have plenty of pigeons here.” He nods to the balcony door as he stirs the sauce in with the ground beef.

Jaiden’s eyes widen and he glances up at him. “Do you feed them?” He asks curiously.

Nodding, Phil points to a package of bird food on the counter beside the fridge. “We do. They’re hungry little buggers.”

Amelia looks over at Jaiden with an excited look on her face. She leans in and whispers something to him, and Dan glances at Phil in confusion. Before he can even think to be worried about whatever secret that was, she turns around to face them. “Can we feed them someday?”

Phil looks surprised for a moment but nods, laughing. “Sure, you can feed them after dinner if you want.”

The twins look pleased by this, and they begin talking quietly to each other, leaving Phil to turn back around to face Dan. He raises an eyebrow in question, his blue eyes shining with excitement. “What?” Dan asks with a laugh.

“We’re doing really well,” Phil says quietly, stepping closer to Dan and leaning against the counter facing away from the kids.

Dan glances back down at the food and nods. “We are,” he agrees. He remembers something that they were told multiple times in their training, and lowers his voice to speak, trying not to be overheard. “Do you reckon we should talk about rules and all that after dinner?”

Phil seems to consider this for a moment before nodding slowly. “I think it’s best to get it out of the way now, yeah.” Before Dan can protest, he dips a finger into the sauce and pops it into his mouth. An unholy screech of protest falls from Dan’s lips at this, and Phil giggles, sidestepping him when Dan moves to swat at him.

“Philip!” He shouts, feigning anger. It doesn’t work, and he bursts into a fit of laughter at the ridiculous look on Phil’s face. “That was gross. Don’t do that again.”

Shrugging, Phil steps closer to the pan again. “I was just taste-testing, Dan. Someone’s gotta do it,” he sighs dramatically.

Dan rolls his eyes, smacking his hand. “Not with your finger,” he says primly, grabbing a spare spoon and dipping it into the sauce. He holds his hand underneath to catch any drips and holds it up to Phil’s mouth.

The older man looks mildly surprised, but opens his mouth obediently, allowing Dan to feed him. He makes an appreciative noise, licking the spoon clean. Dan’s stomach twists with something he doesn’t care to even bother addressing, and his eyes quickly dart away as he tugs the spoon out of Phil’s mouth. “That’s very good,” Phil hums, licking his lips.

“What can I say, I’m basically a professional,” Dan teases, his voice feeling a little unsteady. He clears his throat. “Help me move this to the table, spoon.”

Phil groans about this, citing child labor laws and making the twins giggle behind their hands, but eventually the four of them are settled down eating their dinner. They ask the children various questions, mainly simple things like their favorite foods and movies and things like that. Eventually, the tables turn, and the kids ask them something instead.

“Are we going to stay here for a long time?” Amelia asks, staring down at her mostly empty plate.

Dan and Phil share an uncertain look. They weren’t sure if they could really answer that question, but Dan didn’t want to lie to her. “You guys will be with us for a few months, but that’s all we really know right now. Is that okay?”

Amelia nods slowly. Jaiden stares down at his own plate, completely empty now, but doesn’t say anything. “I guess so,” she says softly.

Dan chews on his lip, uncertain what else to say on that subject. Phil must be feeling the same, because he changes the subject entirely. “Well, we’ve got some things to talk about before bed, but do you guys want some dessert?” He stands up and begins collecting plates, and Dan’s eyes follow him as he does this.

“What kind of- Phil,” Dan sighs, exasperated.

Phil shrugs, a grin tugging at his lips. “I may have picked up some cookies earlier,” he admits, sounding only a little guilty.

Dan shakes his head fondly, turning to look at the twins. “He’s going to spoil you guys, I just want you to know that up front.”

They both giggle but look more than excited for cookies. Dan watches with fond amusement as Phil sets out the assorted package of cookies before going to the cupboard to get glasses for milk. Dan stands to help, but Phil shoots him a look. “I’ve got this, you made dinner. Sit down,” he orders, pointing to his chair.

“Yes, sir,” Dan rolls his eyes.

“Do you want milk, too?” Phil inquires. Dan shakes his head no, turning to look through the cookie options and pouting when nothing really catches his eye.

A few minutes later the kids have each picked out a cookie, and Phil has placed a small cup of milk in front of both of them. Phil sets down a glass of milk in front of Dan too, and Dan shoots him a look. Rolling his eyes, Phil steps back to the cupboard and pulls out a small package of Dan’s favorite cookies, dropping them unceremoniously to the table. “I knew you’d want milk if you had these,” he grins cheekily at Dan’s open mouth.

“Oh!” Dan exclaims quietly, glancing over at the kids, who are eagerly tucking into their dessert. “Thank you,” he smiles, opening his package of cookies. Phil smiles back at him warmly, leaning back in his chair and dropping his arm onto the back of Dan’s. Dan shifts slightly, just until his shoulder blades are brushing against Phil’s arm. Phil accidentally presses his arm closer then, but Dan doesn’t move away.

“So,” Phil begins, his eyes shifting from Dan to the twins. “We need to go over some things that we need you guys to be aware of.”

Dan nods, chewing his cookie quickly so he can contribute to this. This was the part he was most nervous for, honestly, because this was the serious parenting part. Anyone can make dinner and feed a child; they were about to dive into the part where they set rules and boundaries.

The twins share a nervous look, but neither of them stop eating their cookies. Dan smiles at this. “It’s not a lot, we promise. We just need to talk about things like bedtime and being safe at home, that sort of thing.”

After a nervous murmur of “okay” from the twins, Phil glances over at Dan before clearing his throat. “So, first off, bedtime,” he begins. “You both need to be in bed no later than eight on school nights, and nine is the latest on other nights.”

Dan nods along with this. This was something they’d discussed a few times before, and after a couple chats with each of their mums and some other parent friends, they’d decided on eight since they were so young. Neither of the twins seem very phased by this, and they both nod in agreement.

“Second thing,” Dan starts, shifting in his seat and almost jumping when he feels Phil’s hand rest on his shoulder lightly. “We want you guys to keep your rooms tidy, but we’re not going to throw a fit if you have some toys or things lying around. Just make sure to put your clothes in the laundry basket and things like that.”

Phil nods to this, before adding, “Dan or I will do laundry, but just make sure it’s in a basket to make it easier. And you’re welcome to play anywhere in the apartment but try not to leave your things laying around if you’re not playing with them.”

“And there are a few things that you’re not to touch.” Dan jumps in, eyes flicking from potential hazard to potential hazard. “The oven and stove, opening the windows, anything that you’re worried about doing without help. We want to do those things for you. It would make us really happy if you asked.” He makes eye contact with each of them in that moment. “Oh- and broken stuff. If something breaks, please don’t touch it. Please tell one of us so that we can fix it. We won’t be mad, I promise. Even if you broke it.”

“That’s pretty much it, I think,” Phil glances over at Dan before shifting to look at the twins, who are finishing their drinks. “If you have questions about anything or just don’t like something you can talk to either of us. We want you to feel safe here, so if anything happens you can talk to us, alright?”

Both children nod, and Amelia timidly raises her hand. Dan smiles at this but motions for her to speak. “What are we supposed to call you?” She asks, looking a little nervous for the answer.

Dan’s eyes dart to Phil’s a little anxiously. They hadn’t really discussed this. Dan had jokingly suggested they have the kids call them Danny and Philly because he hates it, but now with the question actually thrown at him, he’s honestly not sure how to respond. Luckily, Phil is there with an answer already.

“You can call us whatever you want. If you want to just say Dan and Phil, that’s alright. Whatever you feel comfortable with.” Phil shrugs then, his hand falling away from Dan’s chair as he intertwines his fingers and drops his hands to the table. “You don’t have to pick something now, either. You can decide that whenever you’re ready.”

Amelia nods slowly, looking down at her plate. Jaiden looks deep in thought, and Dan’s a little concerned at how quiet he is. “Jaiden?” Dan asks softly, ducking his head to catch his gaze.

Jaiden glances up, looking a little surprised. “Hm?”

“Are you okay? Is there anything you wanted to ask?” Dan inquires.

After a pause, Jaiden shifts in his chair. “Are we going to have chores?” He asks.

Dan furrows his eyebrows before turning to look at Phil. Phil’s expression mirrors his own. “Um… I don’t think…”

Phil shakes his head a bit. “No, we hadn’t planned on it. Would you guys like to have some chores to do?” He asks, voice uncertain.

Jaiden shrugs. “No, I guess not,” he responds lightly. Dan smiles at this but doesn’t say anything.

“Okay,” Phil laughs, shaking his head a bit. “Anything else you guys have questions about?”

Amelia pipes up then. “Do we always have to be called our full names?”

Dan frowns, a little confused. “Um, no, not if you’d prefer something else. What would you rather we called you?”

She smiles at this. “Mia,” she says, pointing to herself. “And he’s Jai, but sometimes when he’s in trouble he gets called Jaiden.”

Jaiden glares at his sister at this. “Do not,” he mutters, slumping in his seat. Amelia only nods fervently, smirking.

Dan shakes his head in amusement before standing and picking up their plates to carry them to the sink. Phil smiles at him and stands as well, going over to open the dishwasher. “I got it,” Dan assures him, rinsing the plates they had in the sink.

“You rinse, and I’ll stack,” Phil negotiates, plucking a plate out of Dan’s hand instead of waiting for a response.

Within a few minutes they’ve finished with the dishes and Phil starts the dishwasher quickly. Dan watches idly from his spot beside the sink as Phil walks over to wash his hands, patting them dry on the hand towel beside Dan. He catches Dan’s gaze and smiles, lightly swinging the towel to hit Dan’s chest. “Rude,” Dan mutters, catching the end of it so Phil could no longer swing it around. An intrusive thought reminds Dan that he could just tug him closer with the towel, but he shoves the thought and the towel away almost immediately.

“You okay?” Phil asks softly, glancing over to where the twins have moved to stand beside the glass door to the balcony, looking outside at the pigeons that are flying about.

Dan nods, and has the strongest urge to lean in for a hug. He feels he’s earned it after the day he’s had, so he doesn’t even attempt to stop himself as he leans against the older man, pressing his forehead to his shoulder. Phil’s arms wrap around him, his hand trailing up and down Dan’s back lightly. Dan sighs at the feeling. “Thank you,” he murmurs.

Phil laughs softly at this, and Dan could swear he feels him press a kiss to his hair. “We’ve done pretty well so far. I’m proud of us,” he says quietly against Dan’s curls.

“Yeah,” Dan replies. He allows himself a few more seconds of this before pulling away. Dan almost feels he sees a flash of disappointment on Phil’s face, but in a second, it’s gone, and his smile is back.

“Let’s go feed some pigeons,” he says, tugging on Dan’s arm and grabbing the bag of bird food on his way towards the balcony.

And maybe Dan whines about it, but he can’t help his smile at watching the twins trying to entice pigeons to land on them with their palms overflowing with bird seed, copying every move Phil makes in hopes of bettering their chances. It’s ridiculous and won’t work, but he can’t help but smile anyway, warmth flooding his chest and reaching out to the tips of his fingers at the scene of his little family.

#phan #phanfiction #foster parent au #foster parent #bbc producer!phil #student counselor!dan #parent!phan #parent!au #friends to lovers #best friends #bed sharing #fake relationship #i promised children!! here they are!!!!#they're my babies too so please be kind to them #fluff #angst

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let-it-raines · 5 years

Text

Rising from the Ashes (19/21)

When her husband died, Emma wasn’t sure that she could ever move on. He left her with a broken heart and a baby who was only three-months old. It’s enough to take most people down, to make them not want to keep going, but Emma Swan isn’t most people. She’s stronger than she has any right to be.

And after years of heartache, she’s found ways to move on…one of those being in Neal’s best friend, Killian Jones.

As she’s always known, however, things are more complicated than they ever seem to be.

Rating: Mature

A/N: I really do love you guys. I swear ❤️

Found on AO3: Beginning | Current

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-/-

“Mom?”

“Mom!” Henry yells, tugging on the hem of her t-shirt until she looks down at him and at the cowlick that’s working its way to ridiculous levels at the back of his head.

“Yeah, kid?”

“I called your name, like, five hundred times, and you didn’t hear me. Are you going to be like Grandma and not be able to hear sometimes?”

She shakes her head from side to side, trying to drown out all of her thoughts as she focuses all of her attention on Henry. She has to focus her attention on him. She simply has to. “No, I’m not going to be like Grandma. I can still hear you. I was just distracted.”

“By what?”

Well that’s a loaded question, but she is too tired and too confused to be able to even begin to start addressing it to an eight-year-old, especially when she’s about to spend her entire day doing just that with several people who she really hopes are older than eight. That would be something else if there were child federal agents.

Has she lost her mind?

Running on fumes is exactly what’s happening to her, and she knows that it’s not going to be much longer until she is no longer running at all.

“Grown up stuff,” she hums, knowing that it’s a cop out but not caring as she takes a sip of her coffee, surprised by the fact that it’s cold. Didn’t she just make this pot five minutes ago? Her cup should be warm. Has it been longer than that? How long has she been standing in the kitchen zoned out? Is she even really awake? “What do you need, Henry?”

“I want to call my dad.”

Her cup falls from her hands, fingers loosening around the handle until she hears the crash of glass against wooden floor and the feel of tepid coffee moving over her bare feet, the slightest of stings echoing throughout her skin. She watches it happen as if it’s in slow motion, and it’s not until she hears Henry’s yelp that she realizes she just dropped her glass coffee mug on her son, the glass shards hitting him.

“Don’t move,” she shouts, holding her hands in front of her as she watches Henry’s bottom lip quiver and tears gather in his eyes. Ah, fuck. “Just…don’t move.”

She takes a step away from the broken glass and scoops Henry up from underneath his armpits. He’s far too big for her to be picking up, but she still can. And she doesn’t want him to get more cuts on his feet when she can already see some. She is the worst mother in the world. How could she do this?

“I-it hurts,” he whimpers, wiping at his nose while she gets the small pieces of glass out of his skin, guilt settling heavy in her stomach even though she knows it was an accident. An accident. She has to keep telling herself that it’s an accident because it was. Things happen. Accidents happen. That’s all this is. He’s simply in a little shock.

“I’m so, so sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to hurt you. It was an accident. I’m sorry.”

“I know. It just hurts.”

“I know, I know,” she soothes, glad he hasn’t fallen into some kind of full on meltdown as she gets one last piece of glass away from his leg. None of the cuts are deep enough to need stitches or result in any lasting damage, but she absolutely cannot believe that she just did that. “There. They’re all gone, kid. Stick your feet in the sink so we can wash them. They’re kind of stinky.”

“And bloody.”

“That too,” she laughs, if only because Henry’s face has suddenly turned from a quivering mess into some kind of focused fascination on his blood.

Great. She’s got a kid obsessed with blood. Maybe that means he’ll be a doctor or something and not turn out like his…she can’t go there yet. If she fully accepts it more than she did last night – or really this morning – it makes it real. And if it’s real…she can’t handle that right now. Later, she’ll handle it all later.

She flips the handle at the base of the faucet, running her hand under it to make sure it’s cold water before placing Henry’s feet in the basin and washing them off, thankful that she managed to do the dishes at some point yesterday. She barely even remembers anything about yesterday right now.

“So can I call my dad?” Henry asks again, and she feels her entire body go cold, any warmth she had left completely evaporating.

“Why do you want to call your dad?”

“I had a dream last night that there were dinosaurs where he lived, and I wanted to ask him if some of them escaped from the Smithsonian. Like in that movie.”

This child is the light of her life. He and Ada are just…everything.

And he loves his dad…he loves Neal so much that she can feel her intestines twisting and breaking down. She can feel the heaviness in her heart and all her limbs, and it is taking every ounce of strength that has settled itself deep in her bones over the years for her to keep from breaking down right here. She thought that she was done crying over Neal, that he couldn’t keep hurting her, whether he meant to or not, but here he is continuously surprising her.

Yesterday he got angry that Henry had Killian, that she was with Killian, and she didn’t understand it. She especially doesn’t understand it now when she knows that he apparently never gave two shits about them in the past.

Because he abandoned them.

He could have come home, and he didn’t.

Did he ever really love her? Was any of her marriage real? Why would he have married her if it wasn’t?

Does he love Henry now? God, she hopes that he loves Henry now. No matter what he’s done she needs some part of him to love Henry even if he does not deserve Henry. He doesn’t…she has no idea how to feel about anything. She can’t decide between curling into a ball on the couch and hiding away from the world for awhile or punching Neal in the face and demanding answers that she doesn’t think he’ll ever give her.

How does she even go about this?

She thought her ex-husband coming back from the dead would be the most complicated thing to happen to her.

It’s not.

Her ex-husband being some kind of criminal mastermind who is most likely going to jail is the most complicated thing to ever happen to her because she has to explain that to a kid who looks up to Neal as the hero that they always told him Neal was.

Even heroes fall.

Sometimes heroes aren’t heroes after all. Sometimes they wear the costume, but behind the mask are dark eyes full of deceit and hatred but that are seen as bright and cheerful and worthy of trust without any question.

She should have asked more questions. She should have asked better ones.

And maybe her kryptonite for her superpower with lies fails a little when she’s trusting someone she loves.

How could she have been so stupid? How could she have known?

“Emma, what the bloody hell is happening here?”

“You’re not supposed to use that word.”

“Aye, lad,” Killian confirms as she watches him step further into the kitchen with Ada in his arms, their daughter grabbing at his ears as he tentatively steps toward the sink, his eyes wide and full of concern. “I know. I’m sorry. What seems to have happened that you’ve got your feet in the sink?”

“Momma dropped her coffee, and the glass got stuck in my feet.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” Henry sighs, sticking his feet in the air and splattering water over the countertop, “it stings a little. Do we have any cool band-aids? Am I going to get a scar?”

“Yes to the band-aids, no to the scar.” Killian steps over the shattered cup and toward her, his hand ghosting over her arm until he’s looking into her eyes, pupils moving all over her face. “You have cuts on your feet, love. I’m going to…I’ll take care of Henry if you take Ada and stop moving around in here without shoes on.”

“I’m fine.”

His lips press together and curl downward, but he doesn’t say anything, simply nodding his head up and down and handing Ada to her. “Alright, lad, do you want Spiderman or Ninja Turtles? I know both are your favorite.”

She listens to the rest of their conversation as she takes Ada and sits down at the kitchen table, cringing a little with each step she takes. Shit, she must have a piece of glass in the sole of her foot.

“Mama.”

“Hi, sweetheart, hi,” she hums, placing Ada on the table and holding onto her leg, tapping her fingers against her leg. She turns one in less than a month, and Emma still can’t believe it. “Can you give me just a few moments to deal with this? I know you can’t, but a girl can hope.”

“Mama,” she repeats, clapping her hand down on Emma’s while she picks up her foot and looks at the glass ledged between her toes.

“One minute, Ada bug.” Tugging at the glass, she pulls it out, having to carefully maneuver when it snags on skin, a red gush of flood following it. “Shit.”

“You’re not supposed to say that word either,” Henry so helpfully adds.

“Pay attention to your father,” she mumbles back, having to bite her tongue to keep from cursing out her eight-year-old.

Once she gets the glass out and sees that there are no other pieces lodged in her skin, she stands and grabs Ada, picking her up and making her way to clean her own wound and wrap gauze around the balls of her feet and her toes. This entire morning is a bit of a mess, a bit of a disaster really (a whole ass disaster if she’s honest with herself), but this will most likely be the calmest part of her entire day. She’s gotten no sleep, her mind never turning off even when she and Killian laid in silence for hours this morning. At one point she had needed to turn her brain off, to get out of her own head, and she’d desperately kissed him until he made her forget, thrusting in and out of her and stealing her breath with the way his lips moved across her skin. And she did forget for at least a little while as pleasure curled between her thighs and heat spread across every inch of her flesh. It was exhilarating, intoxicating, and for those few minutes, she didn’t have to think about the brokenness in her heart over everything that she’d learned about Neal.

And everything she’s going to learn today.

She and Henry eventually get all cleaned up, as well as the broken glass and spilled coffee being removed from the floor, and after Killian makes Henry some scrambled eggs and toast and Emma forces Ada to eat some sweet potatoes, they move the kids to the living room and wait for Ruby to show up so that she and Killian can go down to the station. Her leg never stops moving, bouncing up and down off of the bandaged balls of her feet, and she props Ada on her knee because Emma’s nerves might as well work to make someone happy. And Ada definitely still gets the giggles from being bounced up and down.

What she would give for the innocence of a child.

“Hello, Jones clan,” Ruby announces when she walks in the house, easily opening the door since Killian left it unlocked. “Auntie Ruby is here, and I can guarantee my favorite munchkins are going to have more fun with me than with their parents.”

“Ruby,” Henry shouts, getting up from the couch and running toward her, holding his hand up so that they can do whatever kind of secret high five they’ve got going on this week. She doesn’t know how in the world that they come up with it in the five minutes that Ruby sees Henry every day when he comes by after school. “What are we going to do? Did you bring your paints? Can we go to your house so I can paint on the wall?”

“I like your enthusiasm, but we are staying here today. But I have been told by a very reliable source that ice cream is in your future today.”

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely.”

“Hey, Rubes,” she greets, getting up from the couch and leaving Ada on the cushions so that she can pull Ruby in for a hug. “Thank you for coming on such short notice.”

“Well, I didn’t have a date last night, so you guys got lucky while I did not.” She chuckles before pulling back, smiling at Ruby. “You look like crap, Emma. What’s going on?”

“I’ll tell you later, okay?”

She raises a brow. “Tomorrow?”

“Soon.”

“We need to go, Swan,” Killian tells her as she watches him lean down to kiss Ada’s cheek, murmuring something that she can’t hear before he walks over to where she’s standing and rests his hand on her lower back. “Thanks for watching them, Ruby.”

“Like I said, I’d do anything for Emma. And you two look terrible, so I hope this is some kind of spa retreat you’re going on and lying about.”

She wishes.

It’s only a fifteen minute drive to the precinct, but her leg stays bouncing the entire time. She doesn’t know how Killian is calm enough to drive, but he effortlessly moves them through traffic, taking the detours around the downtown farmer’s markets until they’re pulling into a parking garage that is as gray and dreary as her mood.

Hell, it might even be brighter than her mood.

When Killian turns the engine off, all of the sounds of the car muting, she closes her eyes and inhales, her stomach attempting to settle itself. Killian doesn’t say anything, doesn’t encourage her to speak, but she feels the heavy, solid weight of his hand on her thigh through her leggingsand it causes a sob to catch in her throat. But she won’t let that one pass through her lips. Not now.

She has to be stronger than that.

In silence she opens her eyes and reaches for the handle on the door, pulling it and pushing it open after she unbuckles her seatbelt. She knows that Killian is following behind her, can feel his presence, but she takes it upon herself to walk down the stairwell with her eyes never leaving the ground until she crosses the bridge over into the building.

The moment she sees David when they walk into the precinct, her steps tick up a pace until she’s got her arms wrapped around his middle and his hand cradling the back of her head, pulling it closer to rest on his shoulder. He’s warm and smells like the spice of his cologne that he’s been wearing since she met him when she was fifteen. David has never liked change, and she finds an odd amount of comfort in that today.

“You okay?” he whispers into her ear, pressing his forearm a little harder against her back.

“No,” she admits honestly. There is no part of her that is okay, and there’s no point in lying to David. He knows more about her life than even she does right now, and he’s probably about to watch her have her heart ripped out of her chest. “I’m not.”

“You will be,” he promises, patting her head.

She nods her head and pulls back, taking a deep breath and straightening her back before fixing her ponytail, tightening it so that it rises on her head. “So where do we go? Who am I meeting?”

“Ah, that would be me,” a man with an Irish accent greets, holding his hand up with a shy smile on his face. He’s more handsome than she thought he would be, not that she really thought too much about it. She figured she’d be meeting with a man in his sixties with graying hair, not someone who can’t be older than forty with curly brown hair and a beard that kind of reminds her of Killian’s. “Agent Graham Humbert.”

“Emma Swan,” she says as she takes his hand. “And this is – ”

“We’ve met,” Killian grits as she turns to the side to look at him and the clench in his jaw. “Hello, Agent Humbert.”

“Hello, Mr. Jones.” Graham nods at him before looking back at David. “Do you two want any coffee or water before I take you into the conference room? We’ll be in there for awhile.”

“Coffee. All of the coffee that you have.”

“I’ll get it,” David offers, pressing his lips together before walking off to where she knows is their break down.

Agent Humbert tells them to follow them to the elevators, and they move up four floors before getting off and wandering down hallways she’s never been in before. Granted, she doesn’t spend too much time here, only coming when she’s getting lunch with David or dropping something off, and instead of focusing on how nervous she is, how her legs feel a little wobbly, she focuses on the sleek gray walls with few decorations, only framed certifications and one picture of the lighthouse resting just outside a conference room.

“So you’re a high school guidance counselor?” Agent Humbert asks as he holds open the door to the room, all of the blinds on the windows closed to the point where she’s starting to feel claustrophobic.

“I am.”

“My mum is an English teacher at a high school back home. I had her during my last year, and she mortified me nearly every single day.”

She laughs at that, but says nothing else, sitting down in an empty chair and scooting into the long table.

“Our son’s teacher is his aunt,” Killian fills in for her, pushing her chair in the rest of the way before he takes his own seat next to her. “I’m sure it’s not quite the same as having your mum be your teacher when you’re eighteen, but I know he gets frustrated over her assigning him homework.”

“This is David’s wife, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

She watches as Agent Humbert takes his seat across from the two of them, and it’s only then that she notices the boxes of files he has stacked behind him. For some reason, out of everything that is making her nervous and angry and terrified out of her mind, it’s those that really get to her. This is real. This is happening. This is…this is really happening.

Holy shit.

Killian’s hand finds hers underneath the table, and even though her hand feels a little lax, Killian twines their fingers together and squeezes before running his thumb back and forth over her knuckles. It’s warm and soothing and altogether comforting, but she cannot focus on anything but the blind that is slightly bent behind Detective Humbert’s head.

She wants to go back to yesterday morning where Ada and Henry were having simultaneous meltdowns. That was so much better than this.

“Miss Swan – ”

“Emma,” she corrects, “please call me Emma.”

He smiles. “You may call me Graham as well. We may as well get to know each other.”

“Don’t you already know everything there is to know about me?”

Killian’s thumb taps against her, and her eyes dart to the side to look at him. He’s smiling the slightest bit, and surprisingly that helps calm the rolls of nausea making their way through her.

Graham laughs a bit too, but she can tell that he feels awkward around the two of them. It makes sense. She kind of just called him out on the fact that the government has been spying on their family.

Again, holy shit.

“No, no I don’t,” he answers with a soft smile as he twists around and grabs a tablet off the top of the box. “I assume Mr. Jones told you most of what’s going on, including that we’ve been surveying your ex-husband as a part of protocol for any criminal of war as they readjust to life as a regular member of society.”

“He did.”

The door opens behind them, and she twists her head around to see David walking into the room with a tray of coffee all poured into to-go containers. He hands her the drink first, and she immediately takes a sip, needing the caffeine. Bless David Nolan for knowing how she takes her coffee so that it isn’t some sludge.

“And you know that we’ve found suspicious activity, yeah?”

“Do I know that Neal is a fucking liar, yeah? Yeah, I know that.”

“Emma,” David scolds, sitting down next to Graham. “Detective Humbert is just doing his job.”

“My life is falling apart, David, so excuse me if I’m not perfectly polite in every way. I’m not a freaking Disney character.”

Her eyes squeeze close at the same time that Killian’s hand squeezes hers. She doesn’t know what she’s going to do if he lets go.

“It’s okay,” Graham soothes, smiling at her before looking down at something on the tablet. “I can’t understand what you’re going through, but I understand that there are emotions behind it. I’m fully prepared to get yelled at many times today. Your partner did the same yesterday. I don’t think I’ve ever heard such creative cursing.”

She has to look at Killian then, has to look at the dark circles under his eyes and the lines covering his face that seem a little more prominent than usual. For a few minutes last night she took the time to check on how he was doing, to make sure that he was okay, because she knows just how much he’s been beating himself up over all of this. She knows. For weeks she thought it was something else, she thought that he was working on a proposal or something. How could she have continuously been so blind to things that were happening under her nose? A part of her understands not knowing that Neal had other loyalties, but another part tells her that she should have known. She knows him better than anyone does, at least she thought she did, and she should have known something was up.

With Killian…she has no reasoning or excuses. There is no plausible reason for her to have not realized that he was struggling with something far bigger than she ever could have imagined.

She was so damn stupid for thinking that he was okay.

She was so damn selfish for spending all of that time thinking that he didn’t want to marry her because he thought that she was too much and not enough all at once when Killian has never made her feel anything but just right.

Last night he walked into the home that they share with secrets that he knew would break her down, and he still managed to do that, to say the words, to try to calmly explain things to her when she was losing her mind. She gulps and blinks for a moment to calm herself before moving their hands from her thigh and bring them to her mouth so that she can brush her lips against his wrist, a silent thank you for taking all of this on.

From now on, though, they have to talk about things. They are not carrying these burdens alone.

“Just…can you go ahead and talk to me about everything? You don’t have to beat around the bush. I can handle it.”

Graham nods before reaching behind him and handing David a file of paper and returning to his tablet. “So we had a protocol to follow Sergeant Cassidy because he fit the profile for someone who had been tortured and brainwashed, possibly for terroristic threats. He was so well adjusted when he returned home, all of his psychological profiles being passed with flying colors, and all of his scars seemed to be aged and healed, not fresh ones. None of that really means anything, but we have discovered a pattern in the past for prisoners of war that make things like that be a warning sign.”

“For terrorism?”

“Yes, but we don’t think Sergeant Cassidy is carrying out some kind of terroristic plot to destroy the government or kill our leaders. But that is part of the reason therapy was strongly encouraged, especially by a therapist that the government recommended, but as soon as Neal was finished with his mandated sessions, he stopped going altogether.”

“When was that?”

“December.”

She thought he went every week. He’s…he hasn’t been going in four months.

“So where did he go?”

“We’re not sure entirely. Killian said that several times he saw Neal getting into a car or not going to his appointments or his support groups. That was a bloody risky move, by the way.”

“Keep going,” Killian demands, his voice gruff as he’s obviously not in the mood to talk about anything that he did to help this. Neal is his friend too, and it all stems back to her not even knowing how in the world he had the strength to keep himself together.

“What this all basically boils down to,” Graham continues while David flips a page in his folder, writing down notes, “is that we’re after Robert Gold, Sergeant Cassidy’s father. I’ve only been involved recently since this now involves the United States, so I don’t have the full extent of experience like some of my colleagues overseas.”

“Then why aren’t they talking to us?”

“Because the things they know they cannot tell you, and I tend to get assigned to explaining things to family and questioning them for international affairs since the bureau thinks that my dual citizenship makes me seem worldly or something.”

That sounds like a load of crap, but Killian gets things like that happening to him all of the time because he used to live in England.

“Emma,” David sighs, finally speaking, “when you and Neal were dating, what did he tell you about his father?”

She turns to David, happy to be talking to a familiar face, happy to be talking to her brother. She needs him as much as she needs Killian right now, and a part of her can’t believe he’s allowed to be in this room. None of this makes any sense, but she’s kind of given up on the hope that things will. Insanity is her new normal.

“That he was dead, that his mom was dead,” she explains, taking a sip of her coffee. “He grew up as an orphan, and I believed him because I mostly did too, you know? I felt like that made him understand me in a way that a lot of people can’t, so I had absolutely no idea that his dad was alive. I can’t give you any information about that because I know nothing about it. But…Robert Gold, that’s his name? And he’s an engineer?”

“His name is Robert Gold, yes. He’s sixty years old, from London, and he owns Aurum Engineering. He’s been suspected of illegal arms manufacturing and trafficking for a little over two decades, but the trails are always covered expertly. It’s…there were no flaws until Neal Gold was hired as a project manager in the company. Paper trails started to appear so that we could track where shipments of weapons were being delivered, and last October, they started showing up in Maine. It took awhile for the connection to be made, as I was unaware of the case happening in England, but once it was, it was pretty easy to tie together.”

“I get…” she sighs, throwing her head back and sinking a little further into her chair so that her neck rests against the cushions of it. “I get that Neal’s dad is apparently alive, which is batshit crazy, and that the two of them are apparently making money off of selling weapons to criminals, which is also batshit crazy, but I need someone to explain to me how in the world Neal went from being deployed and captured by Al-Qaeda to living with his dad in London to being rescued and moved home. None of that makes any fucking sense.”

She reluctantly releases Killian’s hand and pushes back from her chair, standing to her feet and pacing back and forth over the gray carpet. She can’t look at any of the people in this room anymore. She can’t even look at Killian because right now she feels like looking at him will only break her down instead of building her up. This is so damn much to take in, and even though she hasn’t slept in over twenty-four hours, she cannot sit down to listen to this. She needs to know how and why Neal left her, and even though she knows that Graham can’t really give her those answers, she wants them.

She needs them.

“The people Robert Gold sells his weapons to, his main source of income comes from criminal and terrorist organizations, including the one that captured Sergeant Cassidy. We don’t know for sure, especially because this isn’t our main focus, but we believe that Sergeant Cassidy most likely told his captors who his father was in some desperate attempt to escape. A man who was a prisoner at the same time as him, August Booth, told us that one day they were in the cell together and the next that Sergeant Cassidy was gone. He’d assumed that Sergeant Cassidy was dead, but then he showed back up years later looking as healthy as he did when they were captured.”

“Neal,” she mumbles under her breath, watching the white of her sneakers move against the ugly gray carpet. “Call him Neal instead of Sergeant Cassidy. You’re ripping apart our lives. You can call us by our first names.”

“Neal then,” Graham agrees. “We’re assuming that his father paid for his release, and that’s why Neal started living in England under his birth name. We were kind of hoping you could help tell us why he’d stage being captured again only to be rescued so he could come home.”

Her pacing stops, and she digs her heels into the carpet, wishing that she could burrow a hole in the floor and escape all of this. Her legs feel heavy enough. She should be able to fall right through the floor, but realistically she knows that she cannot. When she looks up, David is staring at her, his eyes widened, and she has to look away and back to the floor. She can handle this if she’s looking at the floor and focusing on the pulls in the carpet.

“I don’t know,” she answers honestly, the words steadier than she thought they would be even though she can hear the tremble in her own voice. “I don’t fucking know, okay? I don’t know anything. All I knew was that my husband died, and I was left alone with our baby. It took me years to even come close to being okay with that, to moving on, and even with that, I still had all of this lingering guilt, you know? I felt like I wasn’t allowed to be happy again. And then I was. I had this great life, and then Neal shows up alive which was…wonderful. But apparently, he’s a lying jackass who left me and our son, but no, no I don’t know why he would fake another capture and rescue and come back into our lives just to do all of this. I can give you nothing.”

Her lungs gasp for air when she’s finished talking, and as her chest keeps heaving, she settles back down in her chair, folding her arms over each other and resting her face against her forearms on the table. A hand finds her back, rubbing in circles, and she refuses to look up as she keeps speaking.

“I don’t know,” she continues. “I don’t know anything. I don’t know anything about Neal leaving me, abandoning me. I don’t know anything about him coming back because he sure as hell didn’t come back for me. And if he did, he obviously didn’t do any research on me because he would have seen that I had a baby with another man, which he seemed to be very surprised at. But who knows? That could have been a lie too.” She groans, leaning back in her chair and running her hands through her hair as she stares Graham down. “I was an idiot and didn’t see any of the signs, any of the clues. Why would I ever suspect anything? To me, Neal is my sometimes asshole ex who I thought was my friend. I didn’t see the things Killian or David saw. I didn’t see any of it. But my question is, out of everything since you apparently don’t know anything, is why the hell haven’t you arrested him yet? You say you have all of this evidence, but he’s still living in Washington DC working for the fucking government, and you guys haven’t done a damn thing about it.”

Graham simply nods his head, his lips staying in a firm line. He really must be used to upset people yelling at him.

“We don’t want to alert his father to anything since, really, we don’t care about Neal. We mostly care about Mr. Gold. Neal will undoubtedly be arrested and go to prison, but we’d be willing to work with him to give us information on his father. His jail sentence would be at a minimum for his crimes, and one day he could reenter society, be a part of your family again.”

“Like hell he will,” Killian growls, slamming his hand down on the table. “You barely said any of this yesterday. You’re telling me that he has lied to the federal government, to all of us, and has helped actual terrorists, and you say as long as he helps you get dear old dad in jail, he can be free in a few years with a pat on the back and a free invitation to come back into my son’s life.”

“It’s how the law works.”

“It’s fucking bullshit.”

“Killian – ”

“No, Swan,” he stops, looking down at her while his upper lips snarls, white teeth showing. “I have killed myself over this, over trying to protect our family, and now I’m told that they only want Neal’s dad.”

“We discussed that yesterday. You knew that.”

“I thought you wanted them both. That’s the impression that I was under. I’m being dragged through the mud, my girlfriend is being dragged through the mud, and it’s for what? So we can essentially help Neal go free on a shortened sentence?”

“Isn’t that what you’d want? So you can all be a family again one day?”

Killian cackles, actually cackles, and she wonders if she sounded as crazy, as mad, as she did earlier. She’s never heard him like this, never heard his laugh as twisted as this, and her skin breaks out in gooseflesh. This is all too much, and she’s still so damn confused about everything.

“The man is a criminal who left his son and his wife and lied about all of it. He doesn’t deserve any part of them. He doesn’t deserve to be let off for his crimes simply because his father is the mastermind behind it all. He doesn’t – I don’t want him back in my life, in my son’s life, and I’m sure that Emma doesn’t either.”

Killian looks over at her, his eyes widened with rage, and she nods her head in agreement. “For all of mankind or whatever, I would definitely like an arms manufacturer who sells weapons to terrorists and criminals to be arrested and charged and for all of that to stop. For me personally, I think if Neal was a part of this, he deserves his due too. It breaks my heart for Henry, for me, and I don’t want our son around someone who could cause him harm, even if I don’t think that Neal would do anything to hurt Henry. But Neal works for the State Department dealing with arms control. Obviously he’s not innocent. He could be hurting a hell of a lot of people, and you’re going to let him go…just like that.”

“We thought this was what the two of you would want for your son.”

“Have you, Detective Humbert, ever been betrayed by the person you loved most in the world? You ever had everything taken away from you and had your world altered forever? Had everything you thought you knew ended up being a lie? No? You haven’t? I didn’t think so. But I have. That happened to me, and there’s not going to be some tearful, heartfelt family moment where I forgive him.”

“He’ll do his time,” Graham sighs as she tries to catch her breath after her rant, but it doesn’t bring her any comfort.

Nothing for the rest of the day does.

She and Killian spend the next five hours talking to Graham and David. It’s mostly Graham, but David pipes in every now and then. She thinks that maybe Graham expects her to feel better talking everything through, making it all be coherent, but little by little she can tell that she’s only really there because they need more information from her. But she doesn’t know. She can’t answer any of their questions about Neal because she doesn’t know any of the answers.

She doesn’t know anything. Not anymore.

No part of her life makes sense.

She can’t…this is really happening. How the hell is she going to tell Henry? Does she really even have to?

Every part of her body is numb, all of the sensations dulled as a low buzz rings in her ears, and even though she knows they leave the building, that she hugs David and shakes Detective Humbert’s hand, she doesn’t really recall. All she knows is that right now she’s sitting with Killian in the parking lot of a Whole Foods and staring at people walking in and out of the building because she told him that she wasn’t ready to go home yet.

The warmth of his right hand covers her left, their fingers intertwined, and she feels the rough pad of his thumb moving over her knuckles once more. It’s soothing like earlier, and it makes her stomach twist a little less inside as she messes with the pendant around her neck. Laughter bubbles within her, working its way up her throat and past her lips, and the sound almost seems unrecognizable as it makes its way through the air and settles between she and Killian. His thumb stops moving against hers for a brief moment before starting up again all while her chest heaves in laughter.

She’s lost her mind.

“Would you care to enlighten me to what’s happening in that mind of yours? I’m afraid I missed the joke.”

“I – I…it’s,” she sniffles, leaning her head back against the headrest while her eyes squeeze closed. “I’m such an idiot.”

“Why do you think that?”

She twists her head to the side to look at Killian and his soft smile and quirked brow. She loves him so damn much and doesn’t understand how in the world she got lucky enough to have such a partner in life when she wasn’t ever supposed to have such good things in her life. Not like Killian and her kids and her family. Not like this.

“Can I – can I share something ridiculous with you?”

He nods his head, his lips still curved into a smile even though she can see how stressed he is from the heaviness of his eyes. “You can share anything with me.”

God. It’s just not fair sometimes. He is such a damn good man.

“This whole time, these weeks that you’ve been secretive, I…this is dumb, okay? And literally the last thing I should be focusing on, but this whole time I thought you were being weird about things because you were going to propose. Like, how self-centered am I for not noticing that you were going through so much and for thinking that it was all about me? How many times did I blatantly ignore your suffering and make it about us getting married when that doesn’t even matter right now?”

Killian’s face doesn’t change, his smile never faltering, but he does bring their hands to his mouth and brush his lips across her knuckles while his eyes close, unfairly long lashes landing against his cheek. “Emma, my love, I have loved several women in my life, but I have never loved anyone in the way that I love you. You are – you are my everything,” he promises, opening his eyes and reaching his free hand over to her to rest his thumb against her cheek while her stomach twists inside. But in a good way this time. “I know that’s what you’ve been thinking, and darling, I’m glad for it. You deserved to be thinking happy things, hopeful things, instead of being in the pits of despair like I was. You’re not selfish. You’re human, and you were happy. That’s what I was trying to do…keep you happy.”

“I want you to be happy too.”

“Aye, and I am. I mean, not necessarily today but overall. I’ve got this great life. I have all of these people who love me, and I have these two kids who make my life worth living even when they’re being pains in my ass. And I have you, the woman who makes me laugh and the woman who I very much intend on marrying once our lives aren’t quite so hectic.”

“Is that every going to happen?”

“I have faith that it will, yeah,” he nods before leaning in to softly brush his lips over hers, nothing but the barest of touches that still means the absolute world to her. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known, and even though I have trouble accepting this for myself, I want you to know that everything you feel is valid, love. You were in the dark about a lot of things, but that’s not going to happen anymore. We’ve been through too much not to be open with each other.”

She nods her head in response, resting her forehead to Killian’s as his nose bumps hers. “I hate him for making me learn to love him again only for him to do this to us.”

“Me too.”

For the next hour she and Killian sit in that parking lot doing little more than exchanging a few words every so often, some of them deep, others playful, most of them solemn, but eventually she agrees that she’s ready to go home and hug their children and maybe not think about all of the heaviness that’s surrounding them. All she wants is to eat some junk food and sit with her family as they watch a movie in the darkness of the living room. She wants that comfort, and the thought of it makes her feel infinitely better as Killian pulls into the driveway and puts the car in park, squeezing her hand one more time before she steps out.

“Mom,” Henry squeals when she walks in the door, running up to her and pointing behind him, “look, my dad’s here.”

The words don’t register before the sight of him standing in the living room with Ada on his hip does, and suddenly she can focus on nothing but his arm wrapped around her daughter’s waist.

“Hey, Ems,” Neal smiles.

And her stomach drops.

#rising from the ashes #cs fic #cs ff #captain swan fic

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kl4us4 · 5 years

Text

The Same (Klaus Hargreeves x Reader, part two)

part one here

tua masterlist

general masterlist

Klaus sits next to you as the rest of the group begins to come in, filling out the seats around you. Letting out a tired sigh, you look around at the people you’ve known for a year. Some are new, some aren’t here anymore.

“So,” Sunday speaks up, looking around the group and initiating the conversation with a smile on her face, “I would like to just give a few quick words before I start today's session. Y/N, Klaus,” she gestures to you and you just look down with a slight cringe, “Y/N has been in this support group for three years now. Klaus has been here for four-ish. Their time with us has come to an end. Congratulations to the both of you! We’re always here if you need additional support, you’re always welcome to come back.”

Klaus snorts out a quiet laugh as he claps along with the group, knowing how your therapist, Sunday, can be awkward and cliche at times. It’s been three years. Three crazy ones.

Today, three years ago, you began group therapy and rehab and you met Klaus Hargreeves. Now, it’s your last day here. But it’s not sad. If anything, the two of you are relieved to be out of there. You’re the type of person who likes to joke around. So is Klaus. But everyone in that group is kind of... serious. They’re probably relieved to have you both gone.

Together, you’ve both helped and learned how to deal with your powers. It’s taken getting used to, and there are still some days when it’s all too much. But having someone who truly understands definitely helps. You’re still learning and growing each day, together.

A fresh breeze blows through the air as you sit on the steps of the centre. You close your eyes and let your lungs breathe it in. Klaus watches you with a fond smile, unable to take his eyes off of you. You’re no longer dreading the future, you’re excited about it.

Something inside Klaus won’t let him take his eyes off of you and the perfect way you’re smiling. “Happy?” He asks you, a smile of his own on your features.

“Oddly enough.” You reply back, resting your head upon his shoulder and watching the street life. Cars and people pass by, each on their own journey.

“Well,” he hums, “You’re doing really well. I’m proud of you.”

Letting out a chuckle, you listen to his breath. “We’re doing really well.”

Klaus watches a couple holding hands, walking to their car with big smiles on their faces. And he wonders what their story is. “Do you think we‘ll still be... close? Now that we have no reason to see each other every week?”

You pull back, eyeing his expression closely. But there are no signs of worry, there isn’t even evidence of a frown or wrinkle on Klaus’ face. In fact, his lips turn upwards with a smile as his eyes drift over your face. “Of course.” You state obviously before resting against him again, “I want you in my life. That’s reason enough. Plus,” you add, “I imagine you have nowhere to sleep.”

“What makes you say that?” Klaus asks, pretending to be offended but you both know it’s true. Whilst attending therapy and rehab, Klaus has been living at the centre.

“You don’t expect to sleep here still, do you?” You ask him, feeling his chest rise and fall with small bursts of silent chuckles.

“So what? We‘re living together now?” He asks, “You’ll get sick of me.”

“Probably.” You shrug, feeling the sun warm your cheeks up, “I guess we‘ll find out.”

Klaus laughs, closing his eyes as well as he rests his head upon yours before wrapping an arm around you and holding you closer.

It felt like that moment of happiness would never end. But quicker than it came, it was gone. “Are you... are you high?” You didn’t even want to ask Klaus that. The very thought of it was ridiculous. Of course, he wasn’t.

Klaus shouts back, stumbling into your room. “Like a kite, baby!”

Okay, he is high. You freeze, recognizing his sunken eyes and shaky hands. You don’t even know what to say. You know it’s wrong. You know he’s just thrown away everything he worked so hard to achieve. But a part of you is screaming, remembering how it felt when you use to get as high as he is right now.

“Why the sad face?” Klaus pouts, stumbling closer to you before giggling with outstretched arms, “C’mere.”

“No.” You mumble, trying to ignore his genuinely hurt expression. You’re still in shock, wondering if you’re just dreaming. “What happened, Klaus?”

“Nothing.” Is all he says, shrugging you off and heading for the couch.

“Don’t lie to me.” You follow him, concern all over your expression as you look at him, sitting silently and broken and not looking at you anymore, “I’m here for you, okay? Just tell me what’s going on, please.”

Klaus gulps, looking up at you as his foot taps the ground at an inhuman speed. “He, um...” He’s not sure what to say, how to say it, how to even feel, or how to stop the memories of his childhood from flooding through the barrier he created over the past four years, “My father, he’s dead.”

Klaus looks through his dad's desk and you stand at the door of the study. “Klaus, stop.”

“Just for today, just for today.” He states, “I promise. I just... I can’t do this on my own.” He begs, his eyes sunken and his cheeks hollow.

“You’re not on your own.”

"Klaus? What are you doing in here?” A voice comes from the door and you flinch as you turn around, shook.

Klaus stands, his eyes wide as he smiles. “Oh! Allison!” He exclaims, walking towards his sister. “Wow, is that you? Hey, come here.” Pulling her in for a hug, you watch the pair with a smile. It’s nice to see him with his family. “Long time. Too long. Hey, I was hoping to see you, actually, because I wanted to get your autograph. Add it to my collection!”

Allison laughs bashfully as she pulls back, smiling at her brother. Her eyes catch onto his wrist, and the white band around it. But she also looks to you before bringing up what she was about to question him about. Allison knows what rehab wrist bands look like.

“And who is this?” She smiles at you, stretching her arms out and inviting you in for a kind hug.

You smile up at her, “Y/N. It’s good to finally meet you!”

Allison whizzes back around to Klaus. “Y/N, your... friend?”

“Yes,” Klaus announces loudly, giving his sister a forced smile at how awkward this situation is. You widen your eyes awkwardly before looking to the ground.

“I’ll, uh, let you guys catch up.” You smile, excusing yourself from the room and making your way to the kitchen. On your way down the hall, you run into an extremely tall man. He looks down at you with a scowl and a frown. “Oh, hi.” You stretch your hand out to shake his but he just looks at you until you explain your presence. “I’m Y/N. Klaus’ friend.”

Luther raises his eyebrows, “Klaus has friends? Incredible.”

Though it comes off as extremely rude, you just laugh it off awkwardly. “Yeah, I guess so!”

Luther hums, giving you a nod before walking past you. “How did you two meet?” He wonders, knowing exactly who Klaus is, and the kinds of trouble he gets himself into. But the two of you are disrupted by the ongoing convo inside the room and Klaus is loud.

“Just out of rehab?” Allison questions his brother, once you’re gone.

Klaus fumbles over how many times he can say no within a second. “I'm done with all that.” He sighs, lying through his teeth. He’s glad you left, there’s no way he’d want you to know that he met you in rehab. His siblings would judge him far too harshly, and he’s not sure if he can take that right now.

But of course, you did hear. And you just look back to Luther, “You can ask him yourself.” You smile, giving him a nod before you walk down the hall.

Klaus laughs, shaking his head at the horrid childhood memories. There’s no point getting rid of them now that they’re back to haunt him. “Remember how he used to look at us? That scowl? Thank Christ he's not our real father so we couldn't inherit those cold, dead eyes!”

Luther's voice comes from the doorway. “Get out of his chair.”

Klaus smiles at him too, “Oh, wow, Luther! Wow, you really, uh You really filled out over the years, huh?”

Luther just lets out a sigh, “Klaus.”

He holds a hand up, stopping him mid-sentence, “Save the lecture. I was already leaving.”

"Yeah, well you might want to find your... friend,” Luther states, folding his arms.

Klaus’ eyes widen and he furrows his eyebrows. “Why?”

“Not sure, I talked to her out in the hall... She just seems upset.” Luther admits, frowning when Klaus rushes out of the room and after you.

��Hey!” He shouts, eyes wide as he wonders if you heard him or if you’re mad at him or if you’ve finally gotten tired of him. “Why are you leaving?”

You stop at the front door and turn to Klaus, not looking him in the eyes as you shrug. “I just... I don’t know, want to give you some time with your family?”

The way you phrase your answer makes it seem like a lie. And Klaus can tell. “Why are you leaving?”

“Not sure that you want me here.” You admit, “And that’s okay, I just would rather leave if it’s better for you to be with your family.”

“Why would it be better for me to be alone?”

You’re quiet, you shrug. “I don’t know-”

“I mean, sure if you want to ditch me then go ahead but-”

“I’m not ditching you?” You interrupt, frowning at Klaus who paces anxiously as if he just can’t sit still. The rest of your conversation is filled with the two of you talking over one another. “You’re the one who won’t even admit to meeting me in rehab. It must be so embarrassing-”

“I didn’t tell them because, after all that, I’m not better-”

“Yet-”

“I’m never going to get better!” Klaus sighs, defeated.

“Don’t say that!”

“Stop trying!”

“No!” You laugh in his face, shaking your head. Klaus watches you with wide eyes, feeling his heart beat faster when you look at one another. “Never. You’ve decided that for yourself but that doesn’t mean I agree with it.”

Klaus would let him break down right now, just fall to the floor or into your arms and maybe he’d even kiss you. But the single passing thought that he unfixable and unlovable ruins it. What if he really can’t get better? Or he does and you decide you’re tired of him? Klaus is scared he really is nothing without his high. The thought of that terrifies him and he rejects your closeness.

“So are you leaving or not?” Is all he asks. He crosses his arms, nervously watching you.

“Yeah.” You nod truthfully, “For now. For an hour at least. Maybe it’ll give me time to think of an alibi for the last three years.” You shrug, opening the door onto the street and leaving.

#Umbrella Academy #The Umbrella Academy #umbrella academy klaus #the umbrella academy klaus #klaus hargreeves #klaus hargreeves the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves x reader #klaus hargreeves imagines #klaus x reader #tua #tua klaus #tua klaus hargreeves

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hcneymilkks · 5 years

Text

SHINee/ Super M Taemin ‘Hot Chocolate’

Requested on WATTPAD

Request your own oneshot here!

prompt numbers:

5. Spilling hot chocolate/coffee/a hot-fucking-beverage on the other and insisting on paying for a new drink and new clothes for them, unaware that they're rich and very capable of buying themselves another coffee. Besides, they don't know that this jacket is Louis Vuitton and cost more than the knock-off Gucci belt that had caught their eye in the first place (probably looking a little lower than the belt, but we digress). "So you wanna... hot chocolate and chill?" "If you ask me that one more time, I will dump my hot chocolate on you."

7. Being gifted tickets to see a family member overseas, but having to leave their S/O at home for Christmas, not expecting them to turn up on their doorstep on Christmas morning with a bouquet of roses.

Pairing: Taemin x Reader

Genre: fluff with some angst

Word count: 3.1k

Flecks of snow landed on your eyelashes, propping your hood up higher to cover your face from the cold.

The drastic change from fall to winter had you feeling under the weather, walking to the nearest convenience store to buy some medicine, not wanting to bother Taemin.

You entered your shared apartment to smell chicken noodle soup boiling on the stove, your stomach growling like an animal. Taemin was humming a tune while stirring the soup, not realizing you entered until you wedged yourself in between the stove and him.

"Goodness Y/N! You scared me!" He quickly moved you away from the stove, not wanting you to get burned because you wanted attention.

"Sorry." A coughing fit came and went, reminding yourself to take the medicine.

He sighed and engulfed you in a hug, patting your back and then placing his warm hand on your forehead.

"You're burning up, let's eat and then you need to rest." You nodded, feeling the effects of the medicine you took just a moment earlier.

The rest of the day went by in a blur, Taemin forcing you to rest and kissing your forehead as you whined for his embrace, your eyes feeling drowsy and your mind filled with what to do on Christmas day.

_______________

"Hey, remember the time when we first met?" The Christmas holidays were coming up, and you felt better, your body finally getting used to the winter weather.

The pretend fire you had on the Television gave the living space a more home-like effect, the both of you lazing around on the couch drinking hot chocolate.

Taemin choked, as the hot liquid went down quicker than expected. "I do. Why so out of the blue?"

You shrugged. "I don't know, I just find it really embarrassing for me. I mean, you are so rich and handsome but also so kind. If you had made me go get your shirt dry cleaned I think I would have been broke forever."

He chuckled. "But you were cute so I let it off the hook." He winked at you and you cringed, feeling a blush creeping up...or was that from the hot chocolate. "Besides, I didn't really like that shirt and I couldn't do anything about it. My parents would disapprove of me giving the shirt away so I guess you became a blessing to my curse."

It was a bright fall day, the orange leaves crunching under your shoes. Coming from a stressful class you knew you needed a pick-me-up. What better way to go and get your favourite drink at the local coffee shop at Campus? Quick, affordable, aesthetic, a great study place too.

The bells chimed as you walked in, the fresh smell of ground coffee beans hitting your nose with the sound of milk being foamed, it was a heavenly place for the coffee lover.

"Can I get one hot chocolate please?" But for you, you couldn't let go of one specific drink.

"One hot chocolate for Y/N."

Your hands clasped the open drink tightly, keeping your eyes focused on the ethereal leaf design made with the extra milk, adding a small dollop of whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles on top. One second the drink was beautifully made, photogenic. And the next?

It was all over a man.

"Oh my goodness I'm so sorry!" You rushed to grab napkins from the drink counter, trying to wipe off the mess.

You accidentally touched the man's jacket and gasped. It was soft to the touch and a beautiful light grey colour, the amount of puff perfect to protect the owner from a cold. But yet, there was a stain not only on the white shirt the man wore but on the jacket as well. A brown ugly colour which stood out a hundred times more.

Trying to wipe it off, but instead smearing the stain, even more, panicking inside.

A hand clasped over yours, rough but smooth feeling at the same time.

"Hey, it's alright." You look up and into the eyes of Lee Taemin, the top student in your Chemistry department.

Shaking your head, you took another sip of the hot chocolate. "But Taemin really, just what happened with that shirt and jacket?"

"Well the shirt is gone, thank goodness for that. And the jacket, well...."

That was three years ago, never would you have imagined that your life would revolve around his. That the both of you knew, that you were soulmates, shared over a cup of hot chocolate.

A few dates here and there, never without a cup of hot chocolate and one of his awful pick-up lines.

"So you wanna... hot chocolate and chill?"

"Lee Taemin If you ask me that one more time, I will dump my hot chocolate on you."

Getting closer to him meant that you saw more than just his appearance. Although he is rich and finding out later on that the jacket and shirt you spilled your drink on was Louis Vuitton branded. Panicking aside, you didn't care about the money or the looks. His personality is what hit you the most. Gentle, kind, reassuring, always willing to listen to your problems, on and on.

He was the one.

______________

"Yo sis when are you coming home for Christmas?"

Two weeks before Christmas day and work had become more tiring than ever. Everyone wanted to get results out before the holidays, but that puts you into working overtime. Taemin was the same, the business booming with less paperwork and more physical work needed.

You sighed while washing the dishes, your neck cramping up as your younger brother Mark complained about how he and the rest of your family could only see you once or twice a year. It wasn't your fault that the company wouldn't give time off longer than six weeks total.

"Um, I'm not sure I'll be able to come this year. Work is getting busier and they need all the help they can get."

Mark sighed on the other side of the phone while opening a bag of chips and stuffing a handful into his mouth. "hy dun yu qut he job?"

"What?"

"I said why don't you quit the job?"

"Mark I already told you, I worked there for an internship and they liked me so I just stayed. Plus it's way easier than having to search for one." You washed the last plate and moved to the couch, your feet sore from standing.

"Doesn't your fiance have his own business? Can't he just hire you as his secretary or something?"

"Fiance? Mark we aren't engaged."

"Huh? But Taemin was texting me what kind of a ring to get you?"

"WHAT!?" Standing up as fast as lightning resulted in a stubbed toe. "Oops, I said too much. BYE SIS I LOVE YOU TEXT ME IF YOU'RE COMING HOME."

"MARK YOU LITTLE SH-" and the line went dead.

Massaging your baby toe, you grumbled. "What the hell was that?"

The lock jingled as Taemin opened the door, his cheeks a soft shade of pink wrapped up in a plaid scarf and a gray puffer jacket....yes, the same one you spilled the drink on.

"Baby I'm home, give me hugs." You laughed and ran to hug him, complaining at how cold he was.

"I was just outside!"

"I know but still!"

Christmas Music was softly played as you both were in the kitchen cooking a delicious dinner. Having too much wine even before the meal resulted in yet another spill, thankfully not on anyone's clothing.

Chatter about work became the main topic for tonight's conversations, Taemin complaining about Lucas and Chenle.

"I swear those two will be the death of me, especially Lucas. He's so tall and annoying sometimes, and too loud."

"But Taemin you let them work with you."

"...It was a mistake."

More wine and cuddles, picking a good Christmas movie on Netflix. You snuggled up against Taemin's side, working the remote while he drank his wine from his free hand. After deciding on Elf, you decided to finally ask what was on your mind the whole day.

"Taemin.....what was Mark talking about that you were trying to buy me a ring?"

Taemin choked again on his wine, spitting it back into the cup and cringing in disgust. "W-whatever do you mean darling? A ring? What ring? I see no ring?" he awkwardly chuckles as you eye him weirdly, pressing your hand on his forehead.

"Baby, is something wrong?" He shakes his head. You, on the other hand, don't buy it.

"Taemin you can tell me anything it's okay."

He takes a deep breath and stands up.

You, in your sweats and one of his oversized shirts and him, also wearing sweats and an oversized shirt. Elf playing in the background, the Christmas tree lit up. He figures there was no better opportunity than to do it here. Slowly, Taemin gets down on one knee and reaches in his pocket. A velvet box perched on his hand. Your reflexes immediately bring your own hands to your mouth, gasping when he opens the box to reveal a beautiful ring. Simple yet elegant, the light hitting all the perfect points of the diamond perched on top of the gold band, showing colours of pastel pink and purple.

"Y/N, I know we both probably don't look the best right now but I know for sure this is how I want to spend the rest of my life....with you. Will you marry me?"

_______________

"HOLY SHIT! I knew it!" You chuckled as you packed your luggage. Mark was cheering on the other side of the phone and you knew it would last ages.

"Alright alright, Mark I get it! He proposed the wedding won't be until a while okay?

Mark laughed. "Okay okay, sis I get it. By the way, are you coming? Mom and dad have been nagging me to ask you almost every day."

"...yeah I'm coming. Taemin got me a ticket to see you guys so pick me up from the airport at 3:00 pm tomorrow okay?"

The call ended shortly after that, packing all of the essentials needed for the one week trip. You admired the engagement ring, smiling. It was perfect.

But not everyone agreed.

Later that evening you and Taemin reached his parents' condominium, him ringing the doorbell as you held the still steaming fruit cake in your hands, nervous as ever.

The door swung open and Taemin's mother engulfed him in a hug, giving kisses to both of his cheeks.

"Hello, mother nice to see you again."

"Oh come in, you must be hungry." His mother moved her eyes to you, as you tried to bow but almost dropping the cake. She discreetly rolled her eyes and gestured her son to come in, leaving you to fend for yourself.

_________________

The clinking of glasses surrounded the home, small talk developing. What you thought was a small family dinner turned out to be a whole relative get-together for the holidays. You felt out of place in your dress not tailored to your style, standing beside Taemin for most of the night while you felt the chilling stares of disapproval.

Taemin gently placed his hand in yours, guiding you to the middle of the dining room table. With a clink of his glass, the room became silent.

"I have an announcement to make." he began. "As you all know my girlfriend Y/N, two days ago we have entered into a new chapter of our lives. We're engaged."

The silence, the moving eyes, you felt your stomach drop. Everyone goes back to their small talk and you looked at Taemin, showing a small smile. He bends closer towards you, his breath tickling your ears, "they will warm up to the news, it's still a little shocking to them."

After excusing yourself to use the washroom, you accidentally bump into Taemin's mother, who scoffs under her breath.

"Still clumsy as ever I see? You never learn."

You turn around. "Pardon me?"

"I see you forced my son to marry you? Why? What is your reason with him? Surely you're in it for the money?" Her eyes going cold.

"No! I would never do such a thing, Madam. He was the one that proposed to me. I love him."

Her eyes judge you up and down, taking sight of your second hand "fancy" dress. "Never will I let my son marry a commoner like you." With that, she walked away, your thoughts and tears clouding your vision, second-guessing everything.

___________________

The ride home was silent, your fingers fiddling with the ring on your left hand. Taemin humming to a song on the local radio.

His hand finds yours and you hold it like there's no tomorrow, fearing for what you will do next.

Your mind is split into two, your persona leaning more into option two. For even though it will hurt, it's better than to live your life in agony.

Once back at home you quickly remove your shoes and run to your shared bedroom, slamming the door. Taemin places down the keys at the entrance table and slanders over to the door, knocking it ever so lightly that if you weren't so close to the doors, you would have missed it.

"Love, are you alright? I know the silence at the party was unexpected but I promise you, every-" "Do you really love me?"

Taemin was taken aback, you had never asked him such a thing.

"I'm sorry?"

You opened the door and he saw you tear-faced. "Do you really love me Lee Taemin?"

"Oh Y/N, of course, I love you, why did you think I would ask you to marry me?"

You shrug. "Oh I don't know, maybe because you feel bad about me being poor and a commoner and you think that a handsome rich man like you would make all my troubles disappear." venom like words followed after that. Maybe it was because you had a little bit too much to drink or you couldn't take it anymore. But whatever it was, the last few words and the actions that followed made Taemin's heart break.

"Let's call off the engagement." and the ring was placed into his hand.

__________________

Mark had picked you up from the airport and didn't question your puffy eyes or tiredness. He simply drove you home and warned your parents beforehand not to ask anything about the engagement, hearing the news from Taemin.

You slept most of the time, while awake your mind wandered to the conversation from yesterday night with his mother, feeling disgusted at yourself.

Mark had knocked on your door to let you know he was running some late-night errands and that dinner was ready but you didn't have the energy to get out of bed.

That was Christmas eve.

Christmas day was a different story.

Trying not to make the mood so down, you acted cheery in front of your parents, like nothing happened. Throughout the day that act became real, with you cracking some jokes with your father like old times, and helping your mother cook.

Mark hadn't been at home for most of the day until the three of you sat down and waited. The doorbell rang not too long after. "Y/N honey please get the door."

Grumbling, you hoped it was Mark as you were starving. But you slammed the door right away.

The man you didn't want to see, was at your front door, in your home country. Carrying a bouquet of roses. What scared you though was how similar he looked to you. Red puffy eyes as if he had been recently crying (you covered yours up with lots of concealer), and a tired expression.

"Y/N honey who was that?"

"N-no one mom." You opened the door a tiny crack and Mark fully pushed the door open, dragging Taemin inside as well.

"Mom we have a guest over."

The roses were placed in an empty pot filled with water, the silence unbearable for you.

"So Taemin, how is the business doing?" Your father tried to make small talk with the man who he had only seen a handful of times.

"It's going well sir.....I'm preparing for the next big sales for New Year's."

Your father nodded and it was silent yet again.

"Anyone up for dessert?"

_______________

Hot chocolate was given to drink in the living room, but Mark intercepted and stopped at two, signalling his parents to watch the two people who haven't spoken in a day to each other.

A day to a one-person may seem like a normal thing to others, but for these two, their new chapter had been shattered and it was only a matter of time before it was lost.

You drank your hot chocolate with questions floating all over the place.

Clearing your throat, you decided to eliminate the elephant in the room.

"Why did you co-" "I'm sorry."

Silence.

"Y/N I'm so sorry for everything. After you left, I confronted my parents and my mother told me what she said to you." That hit a nerve, as you visibly winced at the fresh memory.

Taemin continued. "For years they wanted me to have an arranged marriage with someone they liked and who was in our social circle. I was willing to agree with it until I met you. Remember when I said you were the blessing to my curse? You didn't only save me from wearing that awful shirt."

You tried to stifle a laugh and he smiled. "But you also saved me from conforming to my social norms, to be the odd one out, to follow my dreams, to know what it's like to really fall in love. And I never, ever want to lose that."

Taemin placed his hot chocolate on the table, took a deep breath and slowly went down on one knee. He took out the velvet box from his pocket and opened up to reveal the same engagement ring. Although in a different country, the lighting hits the diamond perfectly.

"Again, I know you and I don't look the best right now, but I know for sure I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I will make sure nothing gets in our way and I will love you unconditionally. L/N Y/N, would you do the honours of becoming my wife?"

Placing your hot chocolate down, you wiped stray tears that came out of your eyes, hugging Taemin and mumbling yes. He smiles and hugs you back, pulling away to place the ring back on your finger, where it belongs.

The both of you share a kiss, accidentally pushing the table and spilling both hot chocolates, laughing.

For a sweet romance that started with a cup of spilled hot chocolate.

#SHINee #Super M #Lee Taemin #Mark Lee #Lucas #christmas writing prompts #request 1....complete!#trash writing lol

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sleepyfics · 6 years

Text

❝ how deep is your love, chris evans & tom holland.

summary: you and chris find love through a small encounter on a rainy day, but the 10+ year age gap soon gets to your relationship. so, he did what he thought was best and introduced you to someone closer to your age, tom.

author’s note: wow 2 updates in one day? i’m on a ROLL! anyway, thanks for all the love i’ve gotten from my past two parts, my heart is literally so full. this chapter’s a little longer and got a little more real than it should’ve but, no regrets oops. i hope you guys enjoy part 3!

PART THREE.

“Oh, I--I can’t, I’m actually waiting on somebody-----”

You didn’t know why your nerves were raked high out of nowhere. Then again, it was a famous actor asking you to sit with them. And it didn’t help the fact that he’d called you darling, especially in that mildly intoxicating British accent of his.

You tried to recall all of the past Marvel films you’ve seen or heard, but you couldn’t really put a finger on anyone who had an accent like that except for the one who played Loki. Thor was around the same boat, but he had more of a raspy, deep tone.

"You’re Evans’ plus one, right?” he smoothly interrupts, but continues to keep a friendly smile across his face. “He’s told me all about you. I’m Tom.”

Exactly how many of them knew about your relationship with Chris? You were almost sure he’d kept your relationship under wraps, but maybe you were wrong.

Looking at his open palm, you take it and give it a small shake. “Y/N,” you greet back, matching the grin that he had. “I didn’t think Chris would say anything about us.”

“You’re joking, right? He talks about you nonstop.” The words cause your heart to skip a beat, in a good way. “You seem like such an amazing friend. I wish I had one like you, no offence to my mate Harrison. He thought we’d get along okay, and set us up.”

Wait.

Set us up? He has to mean as friends, right?

The news had hit you like a storm. You weren’t sure if Tom was joking about the whole ordeal, but managed to laugh awkwardly anyway. Your eyes try to quickly scan to room for your boyfriend, but he was still nowhere to be found.

Before you could even say anything, there was a voice that came from the stage. It was a guy named Kevin, whoever that was, beginning to spark a thank you speech to the crowd. Everyone in the area began to scatter to their seats.

There was still no sign of Chris.

It leaves you no choice but to take Tom’s offer. You don’t know if this was some kind of a game Chris was trying to play, or if this was all genuine. It still hurt nevertheless.

Then again, you figured you do deserve all of this this. After everything you’ve made Chris feel, the pain and frustration, it was almost warranted.

“Where’s your table at?”

The two of you arrive at the table Tom had been sitting at. It was placed by the stage and a little to the right, and all of the seats have been taken but two. The eyes on that table immediately turn straight to you, and you could feel your anxiety kick into full gear.

“What up, nerds,” Tom teases at all of them as he pulls out the chair for you, then taking his own seat. There was a string of laughter on their end. “This is Y/N, my lovely date for the evening.”

It didn’t sound right. Nothing did.

You wanted Chris to quit this act, and go back to the way it was before. How he wanted to show you off, meet his friends, have an amazing time. You didn’t want to be stuck being some stranger’s date.

It was obvious this was to get back on what you’ve said to him a few days ago. While you didn’t mean it, you’ve once told him during an argument that you wished you were with someone younger, because Chris couldn’t understand where you were coming from. And you know that those words alone hurt him, so you vowed to never say something like that again.

Maybe they were just hard to forget.

“Hi guys,” you finally say quietly but kindly, while waving to the others. You didn’t want to rudely talk over whatever the guy in the mic had to say, so you just flashed them a smile, and they all did the same back.

“They’re my Spidey Squad,” Tom whispers into your ear, moving his seat a little closer to you. “That’s Zendaya, my best mate Harrison, Jacob, Laura, and Tony. You’ve seen us in Spider-Man, right?”

Truth be told, you haven’t. The Winter Soldier was the last film of Marvel you’ve seen, and the last Spider-Man film you can even vaguely recall had Andrew Garfield play as Peter Parker. You have heard about them in retrospect through news outlets, but never really matched the faces into their names.

Another British Spider-Man, huh?

“Okay, don’t hate me, but... I haven’t,” you can feel yourself cringe from the answer. It was a little embarrassing considering you have been seeing Captain America for half a year, and haven’t bothered catching up on the franchise he works in. Not even the newest one, where apparently half of the heroes die? You only remember, because Chris looked incredibly good in that beard.

He always looks good, but Captain America all rugged? It’s a yes. You could still remember the feeling of his beard between your thighs.

Tom was very good-looking though, there’s no doubt about that. But he just... wasn’t Chris. You’re sure he has a nice personality, but you find it hard finding any kind of connection when Chris was in your mind throughout the entire time.

“Well, I’m not going to hold you to it, but promise me you’ll see it eventually,” He continues to whisper, laughing softly. His arm was now resting around the back of your chair, as if the situation already has him feeling relaxed around you. “How about you come 'round my place sometime? I can help you catch up on all the films, tell you stories, neat things.”

You slowly turn your head to fully face Tom, with your faces only a few inches apart. His smile only radiates to you, no matter how wrong it felt.

Before you could even give him an answer (a no, but it was tempting to say yes), you spot a figure in the background making their way to their seat.

It was Chris.

No matter how dimmed the lights were, you could already tell in his flushed complexion that he’d been upset, or crying. A look you knew far too well.

A big part of your entire being wanted to get up from your seat then and there, and run to him for answers. But you knew that wasn’t the right way to do it, to not cause a scene in an event that wasn’t even catered to you.

You’ve never hated yourself more than you did now.

Completely ignoring what Tom had to say, you still continue to nod as if you were listening. Your eyes were sneaking glances at Chris every two seconds, wondering what he’ll do, what he’ll say about you. This was supposed to be his night, and you ruined it. He was supposed to have a great time with his friends, share a few laughs, but he comes into the room heartbroken.

No matter how many times he’s trying to act like the happy, sweet Chris he was towards his friends in the table, you knew it was all for show.

There was a round of applause from everyone around, an indication that the speech was done, and everyone was free to mingle. You knew you had to go talk to Chris, apologize, and fix things if it was still possible.

“You alright, love?” It was Tom’s words that snap you from your train of thought.

“Yeah,” you reply, shakily even. It was hard for you to keep a straight voice as if you were okay, when deep down, guilt was eating you alive.

While Tom and the rest of his friends stood from the tables to mingle with the other actors and directors, you decided to sit this one out. After all, it’d be pointless, considering you were just invited as a guest. You stay seated in your chair, enjoying the music played by the band, waving hi to those who were kind enough to greet you.

Your phone vibrates, and immediately, you check to see what it was.

(2) NEW TEXT MESSAGES!

from chris 🐻💙: I just want you to be happy. from chris 🐻💙: And I’m sorry I can’t be that person who can do that.

#tom holland imagine #chris evans x reader #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfic #chris evans fanfic #tom holland #chris evans #chris evans imagine #tom holland fanfiction #chris evans fanfiction

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neokollection · 6 years

Text

Reaction To Finding Out You Had A Crush On Another Member

NCT U

‘His reaction when he finds out you used to have a big crush on one of his friends/band mates, before you started dating him’

A/N: The suggestion pretty much sums it up-

Taeil:

Being tipsy, you spout things you shouldn’t. He wasn’t really listening to your rambling at first and was just thinking about his next course of action to convince you it was time to head home. However, when you mentioned your previous crush on Doyoung his ears would definitely perk up. I mean everyone had suspected it for a bit, it was over a year ago, but having you confirm the rumor would finally gain a little closure. He loves it when you’re honest, he wants to know everything about you, including your secrets. He’d laugh it off, he knows it was in the past and that he has you wrapped around his little finger, so I don’t think he’d be jealous or upset in anyway, just teasing. “I’m better than him, right?”

Taeyong:

Taeyong seems sexy and strong, but there’s a lot lurking beneath the surface. He’s like an onion, you got to peel him back layer by layer; sexy & strong, soft & cute, insecure & uncertain. You mentioned it casually as a teasing joke, but to him it meant a lot. Especially with it being one of his fellow members and especially with it being Yuta. To him Yuta is strong competition, he’s handsome and sweet, sexy and funny; Taeyong would start to worry you could be swooned by the younger member. He’d tell himself he was being ridiculous, but from then on it’d eat away at him a little whenever he saw the two of you interact. “Oh... I didn’t know that-”

Kun:

Smiley; he’d laugh it off with you as you recall your dorky ways of flirting in the past with Jaehyun, so embarrassing... He finds you amusing all the time, so hearing stories, even if it’s about you having liked another member, he’s fully immersed and thinks you’re a comedy gold. He trusts you and his other boys, so I don’t think he’d be paranoid. “I can’t believe you said that to him; you never used that line on me... Maybe that’s why I liked you back and he didn’t-”

Doyoung:

"Ahhh...” Doyoung remembers this well. He’s very perceptive so he was definitely picking up hints last year that you were crushing on Taeil... Sadly for him, it was when he was first crushing on you... To have you confirm his suspicions [he probably asked randomly], he’d make one of those ‘I knew it’ faces and sigh as he attempts to hide his disappointment, it was a really sad time for him back then. “But I’m more handsome, so...” “There’s no reason to get petty.”

Ten:

I think Ten would find it amusing like Kun. He’d find this out through a game of truth or dare where he asked if you liked any of the boys... Smiling away. Especially if it was with Mark. He’d cringe so hard and make that ‘No’ face he did with Lucas at the park... He’d try to imagine it and squeal to himself. “OMG it’d be so awkward! He’s so awkward-” He wouldn’t have any hurt feelings about it and would be thankful you’re with him instead.

Jaehyun:

Jaehyun would have mixed feelings. Mostly because he wouldn’t ask you that kind of thing so if he found it out it’d probably be from another member... Like Lucas saying cheekily you used to like him. Jae isn’t the type to harbor any grudges or anything, so I don’t think he’d worry. When Jae would ask you later, he’d appreciate your honesty and understand your confusion by the sudden question. Ehhh... He’d just kind of purse his lips in a way before forming it into a smile and patting your head. “Are you upset??” “No.” “Um, okay then... How did-” “I just love you and I’m really glad you’re mine~” It sounds sweet, but there’s a hint of possessiveness, as if he’s reminding you...

Win:

How he found out, I don’t know, but he’s a little petty. He’d be asking you questions left and right about it then fall silent and you’d think the conversation was over until he asked you another... “Are you jealous-?” “No, he doesn’t stand a chance against me.” Toots his own horn a bit. I mean, if you fell out of your crush with Haechan and fell for him then he’s pretty confident in your love for him, so he doesn’t worry ^^

Jungwoo:

Another one who wants to play it cool. He’d laugh it off as you told him, but inside be feeling panicky. Taeyong’s a really sexy guy, how’s he supposed to compete with that...? That’s how he’d feel. He wouldn’t want to seem childish so he’d keep it to himself, but always kind of end up keeping an eye out for Taeyong when you’re together and closely watch your interactions. In fact, he may even unconsciously distance himself from TY, with or without you around, as he’d just feel self-conscious.

Lucas:

Dramatic as usual. “OMG... No.......... I’m disappointed in you-” Uh, an odd guy- Hard to tell if he’d actually feel a little self-conscious at the news or would really not give a flying flip. “Ten hyung?? Why not like ....Jaehyun or Taeyong?” He’d grill you for your bad taste, saying there were better member-options. Knowing that he won you over all those guys would make him feel like a champion of some kind. And would become real lovey. “Oh my God man...” *fist bumps chest* “I’m king of the world-” “...Sit down.”

Mark:

Not gonna lie, he doesn’t blame you, Jeno’s a cutie even to him. Ahhhhhh, he’d have that feeling tho of ‘Ahhh man...’ He’d feel a little embarrassed for you as you spill to him all the embarrassing things you used to do to get Jeno’s attention, but would brush it under the rug. He wouldn’t really be able to see Jeno in the same light. Jeno didn’t do anything, but there’s just a part of Mark that’s like... Wow, they could have been together. Not the type to hold it against either of you he really feels like he’s chill with it, it’s in the past. But... If he ever got in a conflict with Jeno, even over choreo or during a trip I think he’d hold a harder grudge against him than he would say... Chenle.

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itspixelberrychoicestime · 6 years

Text

A date with a Ghost (HoBM x TF) pt. 4

Book(s): The Freshmore Series x Haunting of Braidwood Manor

Summary: After My Classmate’s (Ghostly) Girlfriend, Hannah (HOBM MC) and Eleanor decided to have a double date with Kaitlyn and Emily (TF MC). And things get weird.| Being put on the spot, Hannah and Eleanor lied about how they met. Kaitlyn is still going through songwriter’s block.

Rating: T

Genre: Crossover

Paring(s): Kaitlyn x TF MC, Eleanor x HOBM MC

Tags: @kennaxval @almogchoices @jbzxls @brooke-1515 @mfackenthal @helentwombly

Notes: PLEASE COMMENT/ REBLOG/ DM ME IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED IN FUTURE STORIES!!

Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4 (You are here!), 5, 6, 7

Hannah and Eleanor stared at Emily with a blank face. “Shiiiit!” Hannah thought.

“Emily...” Kaitlyn rolled her eyes, knowing that her girlfriend would be the one who would want to know everything. “Forgive my girlfriend, she’s a bit nosy.”

Emily playfully smacked Kaitlyn’s arm. “Shut up!” She chuckled, “This just something I was thinking about.”

“Oh!” Eleanor exclaimed, “Well, I am not the one who’s good at telling stories...”

“Oh man, I didn’t mean to put you guys on the spot!” Emily said, “Do you guys wanna heard ours?”

“Uh, sure!” Hannah replied.

“Okay, soooo this was back in Freshman year. It was moving day for Hartfeld’s students who were dorming, and that morning was a bit evenful with meeting another suitemate Chris and my “enemy” Becca. But when I got there, I saw her,” Emily pointed Kaitlyn. “I remember how you were flirting with me.” Emily grabbed Kaitlyn’s hand.

“I gotta say, I was totally damn suave,” Kaitlyn smirked. They both kissed.

Hannah awed, “That’s so cute, how did you guys get together?”

Kaitlyn replied, “We started dating in Winter quarter after opening night of Rosethrone Park.”

“Now, let’s hear about yours.” Emily persisted.

Eleanor gasped, “Oh! Umm, well it’s kind of a strange story...”

Hannah stepped in. “We actually met at the park before she had classes!” She looked at Eleanor, who signaled her to play along. “I was just chilling in the park and Eleanor was new in town. She was transferring schools.”

Eleanor nodded. “Yes! I was having trouble to find my way to the university.”

“I didn’t know you go to Hartfeld, I haven’t see you around.” Kaitlyn wondered.

“She has a weird class schedule.” Hannah explained. She chuckled sheepishly, “She would have some classes either early in the morning or in the evening, y’know.”

“What’re you studying?” Emily asked.

“Ummm... Literature?” Eleanor hoped the girls would fall for it.

“Oh! English lit!” Emily said.

Eleanor went along. “Y-yes! I just love reading the classics from writers like Jane Austen and the Brönte Sisters.”

Emily was impressed. “Well, I still have a couple of weeks to claim a major.”

“Anyway, I saw Eleanor having trouble finding the school and she was sure as lucky to find me there... chilling.”

“Oh... How did you guys got together?”

Eleanor was stumped while Hannah kept cursing “SHIT” and “FUCK” in her head. Eleanor took a breather and said, “We got to know each other once I invited her to my house. She was having some personal problems along with school, so I was there when she expressed her trouble as much as I did mines.”

Hannah saw Eleanor looking down who had a small grin on her face. “When she told me that her brother died, I felt like I wasn’t the only one who lost someone...”

Kaitlyn and Emily were shocked. “I’m so sorry.” Emily said to the both of the girls as Kaitlyn nodded.

“It’s fine.” Hannah said.

“It’s okay. It was a long time ago, too.” Eleanor continued with her story. “Hannah helped me with facing my demons and I helped with hers. After sometime, we got closer and one day she asked out for coffee, that time when I ran into you and your friends.”

Kaitlyn remembered this. “Yeah, I was with Zack and Tyler. You two got together that day?”

Eleanor nodded. “She was so nervous, but funny enough I was too.”

Hannah didn’t say anything until Eleanor turned to her and asked, “Isn’t that right, sweetie?”

“Yeah... I asked her if she could be my girlfriend, and here we are.”

Emily wiped a nonexistent tear. “That’s so freakin’ adorable!”

Eleanor smiled as she kissed Hannah’s cheek. “Well, should we go on more rides?” She asked.

“Definitely.”

-------------

“WOOO!” Kaitlyn cheered once the ride was going through a steep dip.

Emily was hollering in fear as Eleanor was holding Hannah’s arms. “OH MY GOD!” Emily screamed as the ride kept speeding through. As the ride came to an end, Kaitlyn got out of the rollercoaster with her arms pumping in the air.

“Man, that was so much fun!” She cheered.

“Uh, not really!” Emily frowned.

Eleanor was shaken from the ride while Hannah was holding her to make sure she wouldn’t pass out of shock.

“You okay El?”

“I-I’m fine.” Eleanor said in her jitter.

---------

The girls were walking through vendors after going ride after ride. Eleanor kept looking at the large teddy bear that was up on display. She whispered to Hannah, “Do they make toys that big?”

Hannah explained, “People just like big things.” She suddenly realized what she said, and looked at her girlfriend.

Eleanor gave a doe eyed look. “Oh.”

Hannah giggled as she shook her head. “You want it, do you?”

Eleanor nodded and smiled. “It’s so big!”

Hannah walked to the vendor and slapped down a five dollar bill. With a smirk on her face, Hannah requested, “Three balls please.”

The vendor set three balls in front of Hannah. She grabbed a ball and focused the position to hit the bottles. Hannah’s swing knocked all the bottles down from their position.

“Holy crap! How?” Kaitlyn exclaimed.

“I was the pitcher in my high school’s baseball team.” Hannah meekly smiled. She handed Eleanor the large stuff animal.

---------

Nighttime was the perfect time to go on the Ferris Wheel. The girls had just got on and by the time the ride started, Eleanor gripped the sides of the seat.

“Nervous?” Kaitlyn asked.

Eleanor replied, “Yes. I feel as if I could fall any moment.”

“You’re okay. I got you.” Hannah wrapped her arm around Eleanor.

Kaitlyn pulled out her phone and was thinking what to write for the band’s new song. She kept scrolling through her phone memos, but to no avail. She groaned annoyingly. She knew she had to find a way to finish this song.

“Kaitlyn,” Eleanor called her. “Is there something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, I’ve been having some songwriting problems.”

“You sing?”

“I’m in a band.” Kaitlyn replied. “I usually am the one who writes the songs and now, my band is competing for Battle of the Bands.”

Eleanor was intrigued. “Oh, well I hope you win.”

“Thanks, I kinda needed that since Loose Pins are also competing.”

“Loose... Pins?” Eleanor raised an eyebrow.

Kaitlyn sighed, “My former bandmate and the former Gutter Kittens’ band member.” Kaitlyn cringed when she said her name. “Ugh, Natasha.”

“It’s a long story, but let’s just say Gutter Kittens disbanded once they got tired of Natasha’s ego.” Emily explained.

“More like her bitchiness if you ask me,” Kaitlyn muttered under her breath. “Enough about her, I need to have this song finish by the end of the day.” Kaitlyn was humming the melody until she was stuck by the chorus as always.

“See you in my dreams, feel you in the dark...” Kaitlyn muttered to herself. She typed in some lyrics until she deleted them. She did the same process until she got annoyed and shoved her phone back in her pocket.

Emily reassured her by putting her hand on top of hers. “Don’t worry, you’ll get through this writer’s block.”

Kaitlyn sighed. “I hope.”

The Ferris Wheel stopped on top where the girls looked the city in a high view.

“It’s so pretty.” Eleanor whispered to Hannah. Hannah paid attention to her girlfriend. She kissed her on the cheek. “Definitely.”

Kaitlyn and Emily meanwhile took a selfie with the city in the background.

After a moment to stopping, the Ferris Wheel resumed.

----------

Through the date was fun, something had bothered Hannah. In her conscious, she knew that they were telling part of the truth, but the story they told wasn’t true.

They’re were all about to leave the Fair to catch the train ride home until Eleanor stopped.

“I’m going to the bathroom, I think I saw one back there.” Eleanor said. “I’ll meet you all back.”

“Okay,” Emily said, “We’ll wait over here.”

Hannah thought fast. “I-I’ll uh, go with you.” She followed her to the restroom, leaving the other girls to wait. Eleanor handed the stuff animal to Hannah, entered one of the stalls and did her business.

Hannah leaned back against Eleanor’s stall. She sighed in exhaustion.

Eleanor took noticed. “What is going on, Hannah?”

Hannah made sure no one was around or was listening. She said, “I don’t know.”

Eleanor got out of the bathroom and washed her hands in the sink. “What don’t you know?” She asked, confused.

“That wasn’t true.”

“What wasn’t-”

“How we met.” Hannah interrupted her. “Of course, I came to your house, but... it doesn’t sound like us. Those couple of days of just meeting you and your family, my brother...”

Eleanor acknowledged it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to complicate how we met. I thought you wanted a story that would make us appear normal.”

“It’s not your fault. We just can’t tell them the truth.”

“We can’t?”

Hannah shook her head. “They probably think we’re crazy.”

Eleanor pursed her lips and sighed. “Let’s go.” She grabbed her large teddy bear and Hannah put her arm around her.

------------

On train ride home, the girls were resting from a long day of their double date.

Kaitlyn was focusing on the undeveloped song while Emily was sleeping. Hannah was resting her head on her hand and was looking at the streets they were passing through. Eleanor was holding on her teddy bear, trying not to doze off.

The PA Speaker announced, “Next stop, Hartfeld University.”

Kaitlyn lightly shook Emily by the shoulder. She woke up and groggily asked, “We’re here?”

“Yeah.” Kaitlyn answered, “Do we have our stuff?”

The girls made sure they had their stuff with them. The train stopped and the four got out.

“Thanks for inviting us.” Hannah smiled at Kaitlyn and Emily.

“Ah, it was nothing. We’ll see you two later.” Kaitlyn smiled.

Emily yawned. “Take care.”

The girls went to their separate way.

---------------

Kaitlyn couldn’t sleep. She was sitting in her bed with a guitar in hand while she was figuring out the chorus. Everyone else was sleeping in their respective rooms, so she couldn’t be loud.

But she grew irritated with failed attempts and groaned.

“UGGH!”

Emily then walked to her room, and rubbed her eyes to wake herself up. “Kaitlyn..?”

Kaitlyn looked and shared an apologetic look. “Sorry, I’m just frustrated with this.” She settled her guitar down to its case. Emily sat next to her.

“Kaitlyn, it’s already midnight. You have band practice the next morning.”

Kaitlyn sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. “Why can’t I get the right words?” She frowned.

“Well, if it helps, I had some problems when it came to finishing Vasquez’s novel.”

Kaitlyn didn’t exactly understood what she was saying. “Huh?”

Emily nodded her head. “I mean, how the hell was I, a freshman, able to finish writing a book by the end of the Spring quarter? Especially with everything happening with you guys? All I’m saying is, don’t stress yourself too hard. So you didn’t get the chance to finish your song today, but it matters is that it takes time for you to figure what do you want to write.” Emily grabbed the notes of Kaitlyn’s song and glance over the words. “See? You already got half it done-”

“But I still need the damn chorus.” Kaitlyn threw her arms up in the air.

“There’s that, but if you keep looking for that inspiration, you’ll hit the jackpot.”

Kaitlyn kissed her girlfriend. “Thanks babe.”

“Eh, just doing my job as your cheerleader.” Emily smirked and walked across the room to close Kaitlyn’s bedroom door. “And since I’m here...”

Emily jumped into Kaitlyn’s bed and the two began to make love.

#playchoices #the haunting of braidwood manor #the freshmore #mc x eleanor #kaitlyn x mc #what is this? a crossover episode?#Crossover

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akane171 · 2 years

Text

HAHAHAHA 😂 That'd be brilliant 😂

Hmm, I'd agree with the binging but minor details would get lost with such an approach as well 🤔 But yes, if the writer has been doing it for years and has been around for all of it, they really should not mess up so terribly, especially concerning such major things...🙁 (Sometimes I wonder if we are just too obsessed and in-love with details and perfection and everybody else doesn't give a shit about these things...😭)

Haha, thanks😊 Hopefully I'll get it outta the way by next week cause I seriously just wanna sleep and write stuff I actually want to write without ANY citing AT ALL. (I'd love to meet whoever came up with that just to punch them in the face for making many MANY people's lives unnecessarily harder...😑)

See! Finish your own first before you use mine as an argument!😝😂 (Apropos your stories: Just binge re-read a few of them and now I remember that I really did read "This Is The Life" like a year ago😂 And "Hard Rock Halleluja" never stop being funny tho I definitely forgot about that PatD reference... What do you have against them?😅 OH, and FINISH "NIGHT OF THE HUNTER"! Rereading that reminded me of the absolute brainfuck it caused me and I NEED TO KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING😭 Like, don't just leave so much mystery uncovered 😭😭😭😭)

Ohh, you learnt English mostly by yourself?😱 That's seriously amazing😍 And haha, I can definitely agree on it being brutal and a struggle (Seriously, I feel like any time I sit down to write I forget any and all vocabulary😅) but uff writing in anything but English would be sooo cringe-y for me, it'd just sound ridiculously awkward haha😂 (Tho now you make me wanna learn polish not only just because (which I'd love to do with all languages) but also so I could make you write in polish and read that and compare how different your writing might be in the two languages😂)

Angst genius? Yep 😂 But maybe let's not call her a "horrible horrible human being"?🙈 She's just SO nice, too nice🙊🙈 I can't even jokingly claim anything to the opposite🙈

...Oh, Wait, I just remembered I don't like humans, so calling her a "horrible, horrible human being" would kinda be a compliment since it twice negates thus she is awesome, right? 🤔 Okay, then yes, I agree with you😂

Yess, hopefully I'll get it done soon🙈💃🏻

Ohhh😍😍😍😍 I'm so itching to reaaaaddd itttttt😍😍😍🤩🤩🤩

Omg...Pinky and the Brain?🤣🤣 Ahh, the good ol' times 😁

XXXXX

Wonder if there are fics about it xD

I guess, but there should be some editors who would just KNOW the whole story and could point inconsistency. sorry not sorry but you can't tell me tehy are too POOR to hire ONE person for that.

Plus, seriously, sometimes all you need to do is watching an ep one times to remeber things. But yeah, i think you nailed the problem - we simply love the characters while I got a feeling the writers don't. As simple as thath.

Lol, citing? Goo dol' life. I'm happy this times are far behind me xD But go go go! You can do it! *Cas throat singing-cheering in the background*

But we talk about not unfinished fics, but about unwritten ideas :P

(Thanks xD I have nothing against PatD because I don't listen to them XD I just needed some popular bands, so most of the people whould recognize them, that's it :) sighs, I will write Night after i finish Definite. Probably I will need to refresh my mind, becasue half of my brilliant ideas are already forgotten, but don't worry, this bitch is going to finish it... someday. Probably much earlier than LW and PiaD, tho xD

I mean, I had English at school, but I can't call the proces learning, just surviving. I seriosuly started to learn it, when i started watching anime with English subtitles and read fanfics. Bascially, when I started needing it to understand a shit. And talking with people (arguing...?) online helped too.

Learn Polish, it's fun! W Szczebrzeszynie chrąszcz brzmi w trzcinie!

See? Horrible human being, at least on some parts.

Will be post... soonish. And people are going to hate me *MUHAHAHAAHAHAH* and then one more ep and we are finished!

Lol, I see most of the people I write for, know this cartoon, GOOD xD

#my fam

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medicatemedrmccoy · 6 years

Text

All Along

I was listening to the radio yesterday and was struck with inspiration for fic.

I shared this fic idea with @imoutofmyvulcanmind and she wrote a sister fic that goes along with this fic and features Jim. All About Loving You, found here. It’s beautiful.

So here we go! Lyrics are in italics, sprinkled throughout the story. It might not be the most perfectly matched song, but its what came to mind for it.

Leonard x Female Reader(there really wasnt much getting around this one this time)

3,771 word(s) of pretty much just fluff(kinda got away from me a little)

No warnings - but it is a little different as most of this is from Leonard’s POV. Hopefully it’s okay and you guys like it.

Leonard stood at the small living room window, staring out into the backyard where you lay gazing up at the stars, with two glasses of tea in his hands. He was so lost in thought that he didn’t hear his mother come up behind him.

“I know that look. What’s on your mind, Leonard?” Elenora asked as she was drying her hands with a small dish towel, coming to stand by her son to see what had captured his attention so completely. Leonard glanced at his mother, her eyes curious and concerned with the way he’s been acting tonight. Leonard almost didn’t want to say, but in the end he decided to spill, hoping to get a second opinion.

“Mom, do you ever take a step back and realize that something has been staring you in the face the whole time and you were too blind to see?” Leonard began cryptically as he walked away from the window and sat down on the edge of the couch. Elenora went to follow, but not before catching a glimpse at what Leonard had been staring at before, a knowing smile crept up on her lips.

I've been a walking heartache, I've made a mess of me

Flashback:

A young girl sitting on the side of the dusty gravel road, clutching her knee tightly and sniffling. Her bike laying haphazardly in the road, next to the big rock she had tumbled over.

“Hey, are you okay?” A small boy called out as he noticed the small girl wipe away a tear and look up at him. The girl whimpered softly and shook her head as he watched her clutch her knee tightly. The boy frowned as he made his way over to her quickly and laid down his bike.

The person that I've been lately, ain't who I wanna be

“Here, let me see it.” The boy asked with his hands on his knees. The girl moved her hands away from her knee and the boy made a small grimace, it looked pretty bad but he wouldn’t admit it out loud to her, instead he jumped up to his feet and made his way to his bike. “You wait here, I’ll be right back, okay? I promise.”

The girl nodded her head with another small sniff and the boy hopped on his bike and peddled as fast as he could through the field and back to his house. He jumped off his bike and dashed inside, running quickly to the bathroom. Thankfully his parents were both out back so there wouldn’t be any questions of injuries.

The boy quickly climbed on the sink to reach the top shelf and grabbed a small bottle of ointment and a few bandaids and quickly made his way back to his bike and sped off the way he had come. The girl was thankfully just where he left her as he hopped off his bike once more, red faced, and almost out of breath at this point.

“I brought you some stuff my mom always uses for me. It burns like the dickens at first but it’ll help, I promise.” The boy said as he pulled out the small bottle of ointment and a couple bandaids.

“Want some help?” The boy added in as the girl made no movement to grab the ointment. The girl nodded slightly as the boy slowly and carefully moved her knee and pulled her ripped jeans away from the scrape.

But you stay here right beside me and watch as the storm blows through and I need you

“This is going to burn okay? But it’ll go away soon. I promise” The boy reminded the girl as he got the ointment ready to put on her knee. She nodded in reply and closed her eyes tight, waiting for the burn. The boy wasn’t lying and it burned like crazy. The girl bit her lip and shut her eyes tighter as she took in a small gasp from the sting, but the boy was right, it soon went away and when she opened her eyes she had a fresh band-aid on her knee.

“Feels better doesn’t it?” The boy asked, standing back up and offering his hand. The girl nodded with a small grin and took his hand as he helped her to her feet.

“I’m Leonard by the way, what’s your name?” Leonard asked when the girl was firmly on her feet, testing out her knee.

“I’m Y/N. Thank you for helping me.” The girl replied as she wiped the remaining tears from her eyes, her smile growing wider and in turn making Leonard sprout a big smile of his own.

:End Flashback

'Cause god gave me you for the ups and downs, god gave me you for the days of doubt

“Ahh yes, I remember that day like it was yesterday. The two of you took to each other like ducks to water after that day. Hardly a day went by that the two of you weren’t off causing trouble.” Elenora remembered fondly as she sat down next to Leonard, patting his knee softly.

“Yeah, we were inseparable.” Leonard smiled at the memories of the two of you out in the field on summer days, the snowball fights in the winter, playing in the leaves in fall, and chasing rabbits in the spring.

“But it’s also got me so confused mom. I don’t even know where to start, or if she even feels the same way? And I’m as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.” Leonard continued, making Elenora pause for a moment and pursed her lips slightly before lifting her head to look at her son, meeting his eyes.

And for when I think I lost my way, there are no words here left to say, it's true, god gave me you

“Son, I don’t claim to be an expert, but this is what I know. You’ve come a long way since you were just a boy and copying your father in his clinic all those years ago. You’ve made some mistakes along the way sure, but you’ve always learned from them and made the best of it and kept going. You’ve been through some extremely tough situations and known more heartache than anyone ever should. Even despite that, you have a wonderful outlook and a heart of gold and a forgiving nature and I couldn’t ask for a better son. Whatever you do, all I know is that you deserve to be happy. You’ve suffered enough Leonard. Y/N has been with you through everything and if this is going to make you happy, then you should seize it with both hands and never let it go.” Elenora finished with a fine sheen glistening in her eyes. Leonard looked back at his mother fondly and lovingly, a sheen of his own almost apparent in his eyes as well before he blinked them back quickly.

“You’re right mom. Here goes nothing.” Leonard said, his mind made up as he got up from the couch slowly and made his way to the door, pausing at the screen door, gazing out across the lawn to you once more, his mind slipping back once again to all those years ago.

There's more here than what we're seeing, a divine conspiracy

Flashback:

“Hello? A tired voice mumbled groggily into the phone. Leonard cringed inwardly, he hated to be a bother, especially with how late he knew you had been working lately.

“Hey Y/N, I’m sorry, did I wake you?” Leonard’s voice was unusually quiet and hollow on the other end of the line. He just couldn’t muster the energy to try and make himself sound anything but empty.

“Its…” There was a pause for a moment and Leonard guessed she was looking at the time. “1am Leonard, of course you woke me up, but what’s going on, are you okay?” Her voice suddenly going from slightly annoyed to concerned, it wasn’t like Leonard to call this late at night.

That you an angel lovely, could somehow fall for me

“Yeah I’m okay, but no I’m not alright. I mean, I don’t know.” Leonard sighed into the phone, before taking a deep breath on the other end. He hated burdening her with this. She had already been a tremendous help with everything else these past couple months, but there was no one else he felt he could turn to right now.

“Its alright Len, you can tell me.” She encouraged softly, otherwise staying quiet until Leonard decided if he really wanted to talk about it or not.

“I think… I think Joce and I are finally done.” Leonard confessed quietly after several seconds, so quiet she almost didn’t hear it. Leonard wasn’t sure what else to do.

“Oh god Leonard, are you sure this time? I mean…” She trailed off quietly. She knew Leonard and Jocelyn had been having problems, and there was talk of divorce but she had always thought that they would work through it and had been nothing but encouraging.

“Yeah, I think it’s for good this time.” Leonard breathed out, as if the words had actual weight attached to them. The stress in his voice just oozing through the phone, it was the first time he had admitted it outloud since him and Joce had finally agreed a couple days ago.

“Oh, Len, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what you must be going through. If there’s anything at all I can do to help, you know I’ll do it.” Leonard could hear the sincerity behind her words and he breathed out a small sigh of relief, already feeling somewhat better, just by hearing her voice and knowing she was there for him.

You'll always be love's great martyr, and I'll be the flattered fool, and I need you

“That’s kind of why I called Y/N.” Leonard sighed softly into the phone. “I can’t… I can’t stay here anymore. Would it be okay if I maybe came and stayed at your place for a couple days? Just until I can think things through?” Leonard asked hopefully, he hated to ask but he couldn’t stand to be under the same roof as Jocelyn any longer.

“Of course you can, Len. You know I’ve only got that old lumpy couch but you’re welcome to it as long as you need it. Are you coming tonight? I’ll fix it up for you.” She said quickly and Leonard could hear the rustling of sheets in the background, waiting on Leonard’s reply before she fully got out of bed.

“If it’s not too much trouble?” Leonard asked hesitantly. “I can’t be here right now.”

“Sure. Come over and I’ll have it ready for you, okay? No worries.” She replied as she got up out of bed and Leonard could hear her closet opening where he knew she kept a few extra blankets.

God gave me you for the ups and downs, god gave me you for the days of doubt

“Thank you, Y/N, thank you so much. You’re amazing.” Leonard said softly into the phone. “I’ll be there soon.” Leonard finished quietly before hanging up the phone. Leonard breathed out a heavy sigh as he sat his phone back down on the island. If he had nothing left after this divorce was over, at the very least he would still have Y/N by his side, and that thought comforted him.

:End Flashback

Leonard took a deep breath, shaking his head of the memory as he fumbled with the door and the glasses of tea in his hands until Elenora finally came and opened the door for him.

“Thanks mom.” Leonard replied with a sheepish grin. Elenora returned his grin with a wink, and shooed him quietly out of the door. Leonard’s grin turned into a smile with a small eyeroll, he mouthed “wish me luck” to his mom as he walked slowly out the door.

Leonard slowly and quietly walked to the end of the porch, watching you as you put your arms behind your head, pointing and drawing out the star constellations with your fingers. Leonard couldn’t help but grin at the sight, even if his heart was beating faster and his stomach was in knots. Leonard began walking down the steps as his mind wandered once more as he made his way to where you lay.

And for when I think I lost my way, there are no words here left to say, it's true, god gave me you

Flashback:

“Good lord, I didn’t think there would be so much work involved!” She groaned loudly into her pillow as she looked around the floor at all her books scattered around and all her note tabs on her PADD.

“No one forced you to follow me, Y/N.” Leonard said with a smirk as he watched her from his small bed, his own PADD in his hands, going over his notes and homework, laughing to himself. Secretly he was grateful that you decided to follow after him. It made the transition easier and it calmed his nerves and eased his mind knowing you were beside him still, backing him up.

“What? You really thought I was going to let you come alone and have all the fun and adventures? I think not, Leonard! Who else is going to take care of your grumpy ass?” She said, trying to sound offended, but Leonard knew better and gave her a small snort in reply. He’d never admit that she was right, and he probably would have never made it this far without her.

“Then you better get to work, Y/N. That paper isn’t going to write itself.” Jim teased from his small bed on the other side of the room, prying himself away from his own studies to take a jab at her.

On my own I'm only half of what I could be, I can't do without you

“Oh now it’s two against one? I thought you were on my side, Kirk? Who asked you anyway?” She replied with a huff, tossing her pillow at Jim’s head, hitting him square in the face. Leonard always thought that she had a good arm, and she could prove it, he remembered those snowballs to his own face none too fondly. Jim just stared at her pillow in shock. Leonard then rolled his eyes and continued his homework.

She didn’t expect to actually hit him. Her hand quickly went to her mouth as she tried to hold in her laugh, but failed miserably, she cracked up at the incredulous look on Jim’s face. Leonard had to admit to himself that it was pretty funny, and hid his smirk behind his PADD.

“Oh you think that’s funny do you? This means war!” Jim declared, returning fire with his own pillows, but missing and almost knocking over her drink on the table.

“Alright you infants, that’s enough before you break everything in the room.” Leonard glared over his PADD at the two of them, they froze in mid throw as he spoke. The two of them exchanged knowing glances and both quickly turned to look at Leonard, with mischievous grins on both their faces.

We are stitched together and what love has tethered, I pray we never undo

“Oh no, don’t you dare! I will hypo the two of you into next week if you so even…” Leonard warned but he didn’t get very far before the pillows were flying in his direction, he barely had time to block the shots, returning fire in kind. Laughter and squeals filled the room as the three of you battled it out, letting off some much needed steam.

:End Flashback

“Did you get lost?” You teased as you heard Leonard’s footsteps getting closer, leaning your head over in his direction, snapping Leonard out of his thoughts.

“You know how mom is, always needs help with something. In this case, the dishes.” Leonard lied smoothly, covering up his and his moms earlier conversation, he had hoped anyway. He was grateful that it was dark outside, so it hid the fact that he was beginning to sweat.

“You should have hollered, I would have came and helped.” You said as you sat up, taking the tea from Leonard’s outstretched hand, taking a long sip. Leonard’s mom really knew how to make a mean glass of iced tea.

“Nonsense, I didn’t ask you to come with me to visit so you can do dishes.” Leonard laughed slightly out of amusement and slightly to try and hide his nervousness as he sat down close to you in the grass.

“Thanks for the invite by the way. It was nice seeing your mom and dad again, it’s been way too long.” You said, glancing over at Leonard, sitting your tea in your lap. You regarded Leonard closely, it hadn’t escaped you that he had been acting odd tonight.

'Cause god gave me you for the ups and downs, god gave me you for the days of doubt

“No worries, Y/N. My mom loves having you over, sometimes I even think she likes you more than me.” Leonard said with a louder laugh, causing you to laugh as well. Leonard loved to hear you laugh, it was like music to his ears, and always made his heart light as a smile spread across his face for a brief moment.

“Y/N…” Leonard cleared his throat. Might as well jump right in, right? “I have a small confession. I didn’t bring you out here just for a visit.” Leonard continued, not quite looking you in the eye, choosing to half look at the stars.

“Oh?” You said curiously, waiting on him to continue as you quirked an eyebrow in reply, something you had perfected from hanging out with Leonard so much.

“Yeah, I uh, I don’t really know how to say this and you can tell me to shut up anytime and we’ll forget I even said anything, okay?” Leonard rubbed his face nervously before finally looking you in the eyes. There wasn’t any backing out now, it was now or never.

God gave me you for the ups and downs, god gave me you for the days of doubt

“Y/N, we’ve known each other almost our whole lives. Were the best of friends, just don’t tell Jim that okay? We know everything there is to know about each other. We’ve been there through each others high points, and our low points. You’ve always been by my side and never left me and have always been in my corner. And I’ve been an idiot, a real idiot for not being able to see what was right in front of me all along.” Leonard rubbed the back of his neck with his hand nervously. His mouth was so very dry, despite all the tea hes drunk and his hands were so sweaty.

“Leonard, are you asking me if I’ll go out with you?” You said as a smirk began to form on your lips as you gathered where Leonard was going with this, there was no other explanation for his nervousness or his words.

“Well, I mean, yeah? I guess I am. It’s not weird is it? It’s just, after Nero’s attack, and us almost not making it back and the thought of losing you or never seeing you again, I guess it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I care about you Y/N, and up until now, I didn’t realize just how much. I care about you more than a friend and I mean, I get it if you don’t feel the same way, we’ve been friends for so long and…” Leonard rambled on before you brought your fingers to his lips, shushing him.

“Can you stop talking for 3 seconds and let me get a word in edgewise?” You teased, laughing at the look on Leonard’s face. You had never seen him so nervous. Someone who was always calm under pressure, even when someone was bleeding out underneath him, Leonard never lost his cool this badly. You knew he had to be a nervous wreck and had been thinking about this for a while.

And for when I think I lost my way, there are no words here left to say,

“The truth is, I’ve been thinking about this a lot too. I just didn’t know how to bring it up and you just so happened to beat me to it.” You answered with a smile. The look on Leonard’s face was priceless as it lit up slightly with hope.

“You have?” Leonard asked in almost disbelief, his eyes going slightly wide. He never imagined that this would be your reply. He envisioned every possible scenario of you running away, screaming for the hills, or even worse, that this might even ruin your friendship with his confession.

“I think a part of me has always liked you Leonard but the timing had never been right, or one of us had been in another relationship or school or whatever, but now? We’re finally where we both want to be and have nothing to get in the way of us making the future that we want. And I think I like the thought of a future with you and me.” You answered Leonard with a smile, all the fond memories you had of the two of you flashing through your head as you thought back to all the good times the two of you shared.

Leonard couldn’t believe his ears and almost asked you to repeat yourself, but didn’t dare, in case you decided you change your answer, and only put on a huge grin from ear to ear.

“Y/N, you’ve made me the happiest man alive. Where do we go from here?” Leonard asked, the two of you were such great friends, and already knew practically everything there was to know about each other that the typical first date seemed kind of out of place.

“Well, we could start here?” You suggested as you leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Leonard’s lips. Leonard jumped slightly at your touch before melting into your kiss. It wasn’t weird like he thought it might be, it felt right, it felt like home. Warmness crept through him as his heart skipped a beat, and he knew he made the right decision.

You felt equally as happy as you pulled away slightly from the kiss, a smile plastered on your face as you saw the excited gleam in Leonard’s eye.

“I like the way you think, darlin’.” Leonard laughed as he gave you a quick peck and stood up slowly, holding out his hand. You took Leonard’s hand as he helped you off the grass.

“I’m Leonard by the way, what’s your name?” Leonard asked playfully with a big smile on his face as he brought you carefully to your feet.

“I’m Y/N. Thank you for helping me.” You replied with a laugh, poking Leonard in the ribs, causing him to join you, both your laughter mixing and dancing in the warm summer air. You hardly believed that he remembered that day so very long ago. Leonard kept a hold on your hand as he brought you in close to his chest and wrapped his other arm around your waist and began to rock the two of you slowly in small circles.

“You really are beautiful Y/N, you know that?” Leonard said softly as he looked down at you with awe, eyes dancing around your features, as if it was something that had escaped him all these years. He planned to make up for all those lost years, and then some.

“You old romantic, but I think that’s going to take some time to get used to hearing from you.” You giggled softly, burying your head in Leonard’s chest, hardly believing what was happening, it all felt like a dream come true. Everything falling into place. Being with Leonard was as easy as breathing.

“You know me best sweetheart and we have all the time in the world to get used to it.” Leonard replied as he dipped you quickly and bringing you back up to meet his lips. Leonard couldn’t believe you had returned his feelings as his mind wandered to all the possibilities that lie in front of you both. He finally felt happy and hopeful for his future.

“That I do.” You agreed, kissing Leonard back slowly before resting your head on his shoulder as the two of you continued to dance around under the stars, not needing to speak as the two of you enjoyed being together. There was plenty of time to figure out everything later, tonight it was just the two souls that had been destined to be together after all this time, finally becoming one.

It's true, god gave me you, he gave me you

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