#i ripped the neckline out like 8 times but it turned out exactly how i wanted it hehe

[wutheringheights78]

first tunisian crochet project all done!! i'm really happy with this one

100% crocheted by hand with wool, pattern by me

[elfwoodfae]

Ima need you to write something filthy about Harry after he discovers y/n's erotic friend fiction about the team and learn what she really thinks about him.

Love, some one anonymous and your biggest fan

“Hurtful Lies” Harrison “Harry” Wells x reader

Author’s note: HUGE thank you to @wintersire for coming through and helping me keep Harry in character and help me edit and put together this story, honestly couldn’t have done it without her. Also I know is not exactly what you asked for but I could stop myself from the angst, I truly hope you like it. I loved writing it. I cried too while doing it.

WARNING: SMUT, ANSGT.

Gif credits to the owner, I found it on google.

4.5k

“Oh Harrison,” You moaned in his ear as he held you up against the wall, your legs tangled around his waist.

“I can’t wait to be inside of you,” He whispered, his hands going up your back and ripping open the fabric of your dress. His lips found yours, his teeth catching your bottom one, tugging on it for you to open your mouth.

His hand went down the curve of your ass to the inside of your thigh, feeling the heat coming from you.

“Every night since I met you I have dreamed about this moment, I've touched myself thinking of you, I adore you, everything about you.” You proclaimed against his mouth. He kissed you fiercely in response, savoring you.

You typed furiously into your computer, not wanting to lose the inspiration you had. This was your hobby, or more or less your practice into becoming a writer, and what better way to do it than writing about the center of your affections. Harrison Wells. Or more accurately, Earth 2 Harrison Wells. You had developed a hard crush on the man, everything about him drove you crazy, his hands, his hair, his lips, his back, and oh God did you wonder what was inside those pants; maybe that’s why he always wore them so baggy.

You could almost say it was an obsession at this point. At night, when you were alone, he was who you would think of while touching yourself, moaning his name. You wanted him so bad. It's gotten to the point where you would do anything for him, as scared as that thought made you.

Taking a break from typing and stretching your fingers, you leaned back to look at the screen and read over your writing. You wondered how long you've been writing for; it seemed like no time at all. When you catch the time you let out a curse. It was almost 8. and Cisco had insisted you all go out as a team for a very deserved family dinner at Barry’s place.

Saving the document and getting up from the computer you went over to your room, getting dressed up. While you readied yourself you heard a breach opening in your living room; Cisco was here to get you.

“I will be out in a minute! Get comfy.” You called out while struggling to fix the dress to make your breasts look more appetizing. Obviously you doubted Harry would notice, but at least you could dream he would. You had chosen a short float dress with an open back and low neckline, perfect for indiscreet kisses and flirty hands.

Back in the living room Cisco was moving through the apartment to get to the kitchen, leaving Harry, who had unexpectedly come with him, alone; something you were unaware of. The screen of your computer illuminated as a email notification appeared, catching Harry’s attention. He looked over and as he was about to dismiss it something called his attention back to it.

His name was written on whatever you were working on, moving towards it slowly he started to read it over, his eyes widening with every word he read. Just as he was about to scroll down the page the clicking of your heels could be heard, making him smack the screen down to hide what he was doing.

Trying to act normal he turned around, hiding his face from you and the blush softly creeping on it.

“Oh Harry, I didn’t know you had come with Cisco,” you said, looking at his back.

“He would take too long otherwise,” he grunted, unable to look you in the eye. His gaze stayed on your neck, trying to distract himself, but that was a mistake as he could see the way the dress hugged your body from his peripheral view. Memories of what you had written came to his mind as he wondered what it would feel like to run his hands up your back and take that dress off of you.

Clearing his throat he had to turn back around, hiding his hands in the pockets of his pants to try and hide something else triggered by the thought.

You took in his appearance. You don’t think you had ever seen him this formal, and for a moment he reminded you exactly of Thawne the night of the accelerator launch; his white shirt with a blazer on top, the first buttons open to show his skin, his black pants, and his hair; a little shorter and sharper on the sides. You wondered if this is what he looked like most of the time on his Earth; before zoom, when he was less worried about everything.

Cisco came back just in time from the kitchen, hurrying all of you into a breach to make it to Barry’s on time.

After the drinks started flowing, so did the good feelings; the atmosphere was joyful, everyone was having a good time, even Harry seemed relaxed in his own way.

As the night progressed and all of you sat around the living room, Caitlin asked about your project. She knew you had been working on a few pieces for a literature portfolio you had been building.

“Well I have been working on this piece I’m really excited about.” You said, causing Harry to suddenly choke on his drink.

“You good?” Cisco nudged him.

“Yeah yeah I’m just, I’m going to get some air,” he whispered getting up with his drink and walking over to the balcony.

Maybe it was the liquid courage the alcohol provided, or the fact that fate liked to play with you, but you suddenly felt brave enough to walk after him. You excused yourself quietly before following him into the cool night air.

“Hey,” you gently touched his shoulder. “Is everything okay?” You asked him with a kind smile. The one you always saved for him.

“Yeah, yeah, it's just a little crowded in there.” He lamely excused.

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure. I’ll be leaving soon, I think I had one too many drinks, I’ll ask Cisco to breach me.” You said as you turned around, ready to leave, but right before you went through the door his hand stopped you, grabbing your arm delicately.

“I can walk you, I’m leaving too.” He said. He was regretting this as the words were leaving his mouth but it was already too late, you had smiled at him and nodded, letting him know you were getting your purse and saying your goodbyes. He didn’t know where this had come from, certainly not from his common sense as he knew he shouldn’t be giving you any hopes after what he had read in your computer, but he couldn’t help it, the alcohol in his system made him think slower and not very clearly.

The walk home was quiet, only making small talk between you both. He didn’t know why he had offered to walk you, Cisco could have breached you easily. Once you made it to your door you turned around, facing him.

“Hey,” you started, trying to find a way to phrase what you wanted to ask him. This may after all be your only chance at this.

“Do you want to come in for a drink?” You asked him with a kind smile.

He shouldn’t stay, he should have said no and leave, he wasn’t thinking clearly and the consequences would prove to be devastating.

He nodded, too afraid of speaking and his words betraying him. He followed you inside, settling in the couch while you went to get some alcohol from the kitchen.

Serving him and yourself a drink you both settle on simple conversation, laughing and every once in a while you could see the way his eyes would fall to your lips.

Finishing your drinks, silence fell over you both, neither sure of what was supposed to happen, but the tension could be felt in the air. Softly, you moved closer to him, your hand finding his thigh as you leaned over him. He was studying you, his eyes on your lips. Slowly you touched his face, your lips connecting with his in a soft kiss.

He closed his eyes, his hands moving to the back of your neck as if by instinct, his lips pressed harder to yours, his teeth grazing your bottom one, prompting you to open your mouth. He had forgotten what it felt like to kiss someone else. His hands traveled down your back, feeling the soft skin of your back exposed by the dress. You moved to his lap, removing his blazer and playing with the buttons of his white shirt.

In a silent agreement you both decided to move this to the bedroom, you got up, offering him your hand for him to take and follow you. Once inside you turned around, kissing him again as you moved backwards towards the bed. His hands moved to the zipper of your dress, opening it and letting it fall of your form. There you stood, naked in front of him, only in your panties as you bit your lip, you looked absolutely stunning in his eyes.

He knew the only way he was being able to go through with this was because of the amount of alcohol in his system, and as he moved his hands to your waist to lean you back in the bed, kissing you, his breathing started to quicken. Heat spreading from the back of his neck to his shoulders. He was loosing focus on what he was doing.

Your hands moved to his pants, unbuckling them, opening the button of them and pushing them down, but the moment your hand touched his cock he lost it, he couldn’t do it. He started to panic, images of Tess came to his mind and his mind screamed at him that this was a betrayal to her memory.

Moving away from you quickly he turned around, trying to get himself back in his pants again.

“Harry?” You softly asked him, sitting up and covering yourself with the duvet.

“Hey it’s okay,” you tried again when he didn’t reply, noticing the way his breathing had quickened and he seemed to be panicking. Understanding came over you; he was probably nervous. You assumed he hasn’t been with anyone physically since his wife passed away.

“Hey, it’s okay,” you try again, touching his arm to reassure him, but the moment your skin touches his he flinched away from you.

“Don’t touch me” he says, getting up from the bed, his breathing quickening. He hasn't felt this way since Jessie was taken; the weight on his chest getting heavier every second he remained in your bedroom. He couldn’t explain why, but this sense of panic rose the moment he saw your face fall at him flinching away from you.

“Hey calm down, it's okay. I understand if you need time,” you began but he interrupted you with a breathy scoff. He was in a panic state now; he couldn’t think clearly anymore, he knew you knew what was happening to him, and somehow that show of weakness made the whole situation worse.

“What could you possibly understand, you're just a selfish brat. I don’t need you whoring yourself to me like you did to Thawne.” He spits quickly, not looking at you. He knew that seeing your face would be his last straw.

Your own panic becomes evident in the way your breathing changes. Tears pool in your eyes, so heavy that they start to fall without your consent. The hurt, the humiliation and embarrassment you feel at his words are obvious, how did he know what had happened with Thawne?

His panic dulls once his pants are securely covering him once more, clearing his head enough to allow him to process what he just said to you. He turns toward you, that feeling building once more but for a completely different reason this time. He shouldn’t have said that, he fucked up completely now. A sharp pain tugs at him the moment he sees your face; he went too far.

“No, y/n, I am,” he begins to say, he needs to fix this before is too late, but you close your eyes, whispering a quiet “get out”. When you open your eyes again, he is still there. He tries to reach for you but you dodge him, taking the blanket with you to the bathroom.

He tries to talk to you, to apologize, but by the way he can hear your sobbing from behind the closed door he knows there is nothing he can say to fix this, at least not now.

You stayed in the bathroom, sitting on the floor behind the door with your blankets around you until you heard the front door close, proving that he had indeed left.

How could he had done that to you? You had trusted him, you had trusted Harry to be different. You had never thought he could be so cruel, but once again you had been proven wrong and were hurt by two men wearing the same face.

Harry looks for you the next day. He needs to apologize, he needs to fix this because he can’t deal with the pain and guilt he is feeling now. He storms through the lab but he can’t find you. Eventually Ramon gets there, who informs him that you didn’t come today.

Harry seems to be in a even worse mood than before, yelling at everyone and throwing things every once in a while, a behavior he had overcome in his time on this earth.

“Okay, what’s wrong with you?” Cisco questions him, finally having been able to catch him.

He hesitates, unsure if telling Ramon what happened was the best idea but with how bad he screwed up he may need all the help he can get at fixing this.

“I, I made a mistake” he whispers, facing the white board he was writing on.

“Last night I walked y/n home, and we had a couple drinks and one thing led to another,” he says, fixing his glasses as he is unsure of how to continue.

“And” Cisco pushes.

“And we kissed and then I panicked, and I,” he sighs.

“Harry its okay." Cisco tries, but Harry doesn't face him. "Look, I am sure she didn’t take it personally.” Cisco stands and reaches out to pat his shoulder, trying to help Harry, but when he touched his arm he saw exactly what Harry said; he saw what happened, the way his words had affected you. He knew Harry had a temper but he never expected for him to be capable of being so hurtful, especially to you, who had been nothing but kind and understanding to him.

“Oh no Harry, what did you do?” Cisco quickly says, fear evident in his voice.

“What?” Harry says, turning to look at him.

“How could you had say that to her? How do you even know about Thawne?” Cisco demands, anger evident in his voice.

“I panicked Ramon, I wasn’t thinking when I said it.” He removes his glasses and rubs his eyes.

“I heard Barry talking about Thawne and he mentioned that he and y/n were seeing each other.”

“That’s not the worst part Harry, we never talk about what happened not because of him but because of her too.” Cisco begins, he takes in a breath before continuing.

“Barry and y/n were closer back then, they were always together, but when Barry found out about Thawne, he also found out that y/n and him had a relationship, he instantly thought that she knew who he was and he never gave her a chance to explain,” he sighs, his eyes lost in the memories of that day.

“He was going to lock her in the pipeline with him, but Joe stopped him. Thawne had told her that she had been nothing but a distraction and a way for him to have fun, that he had never loved her. Barry was sure she had betrayed the team as well and when she was trying to explain he called her a desperate slut and accused her of not caring that he was a murderer." Cisco looks to the side, lost in the memory. "I still remember her face, the tears and how Joe had to intercept because he had crossed the line. After he locked her up, Thawne confessed that y/n was innocent, that she never knew who or what his intentions were.” Cisco proceeded explaining, making Harry only feel worse and worse by the second.

“Even when Barry apologized and she explained everything they never recovered, they never were as close as before and the team was not the same after that.” Cisco finished. God had he screwed up.

“I need to fix this Ramon,” Harry said, rubbing his forehead.

“I don’t honestly think you can do anything to fix this. I’m sorry Harry, but I think you can only give it time.” He said.

As the week progressed you had manage to avoid Harry at all costs, working on a lab far away from the cortex and completely opposite from him. You had expected to feel better by now, but his insult had only revived the memories buried in your mind, every time you looked at him now you could only see the original Wells, you could only see Thawne because the difference between both in your head had been completely erased after that night.

It took a week for Harry to finally corner you; he knew you were avoiding him, and he was trying to give you space, at least the first few days but every time you seemed to get a glance of his presence you would flee. He knew he deserved it.

When you made it home that night, after changing and settling down on the sofa you tried to relax, in all honesty the anxiety of the whole situation had made you too tense and too anxious to even be able to properly function that week.

As you switched between channels trying to distract yourself, you heard the telltale signs of a breach opening behind your couch. Cisco knew what had happened, he had hugged you as you cried that first day back after the incident.

“Cisco I am fine, I will be fine in a couple days” you added without looking back.

“It’s not Cisco” his raspy voice said, almost in a whisper and you instantly froze, not wanting to see him.

He noticed the way you tensed, how you wouldn’t turn around to see him.

“What are you doing here?” You whispered, tears threatening to fall.

“Please let me fix this, I am so sorry,” he began.

You looked at him, and as he took a step closer to you, you flinched away. He could see the fear in your eyes and that only hurt him more, he knew he deserved this, how could he blame you? He was wearing the same face as the man who once hurt you the same way he had done, in your eyes there was no difference between himself and Thawne.

He moved closer, slower this time, afraid to scare you away.

“I am so sorry,” he said again, trying to find the right words to make you understand that he hadn’t meant it.

“The other night, I, I panicked, I,” he couldn’t explain himself. Eventually he gave up and sat on the edge of the couch, giving you a wide berth. He took a deep breath.

“Her name was Tess,” he begins, closing his eyes at the tears he knows are coming.

“I know you know of her from the other one, but she was mine. My amazing, beautiful wife.” You only looked at him, allowing him to explain himself.

“When Jessie was 5, Tess got sick. We couldn’t figure out what was happening, she only lasted a couple more months.” He had removed his glasses by now, wiping the tears away from his eyes.

“After she died I became a bitter man; I was angry and broken. I couldn’t rebuild my life without her.” He continued, his eyes focus on the memories.

“That night, was, that night was the first time since her that I had allowed myself to be with someone, and the moment you touched me I panicked, my mind screaming that I was betraying her.” He finished.

You could see the pain in his eyes, the way the tears fell down his cheeks. You had never seen Harry so vulnerable.

Now you felt sorry for him; you could understand his panic.

“I know that’s not an excuse for what I said or how I treated you and I’m not asking you to forgive me but I needed to explain to you. I owed you that much.” He finished.

“Harry,” you began, trying to clean your face from your own tears.

“Harry I forgive you, I just,” you continued, looking up to clear your eyes of the tears trying to fall again.

“If you didn’t feel the same way about me as I did about you, you could have told me,” you said.

“That’s the thing, I have dreamt of you since the day I met you, I have wished to be able to move forward but I’m stuck, guilt eating me alive.” He said.

If there was ever any doubt in your mind of Harry being the same as his evil doppelgänger it was gone now. This man had suffered so much, he deserved to be happy and after finding someone who could help him he had locked himself away.

Standing up, you moved in front of where he was sitting, tangling your hands in his hair and bringing his face to your stomach, hugging him. His puppy eyes watched your every move, his hands instantly went around your waist, holding you, allowing himself to feel you.

“Harry, I know that you loved her very much, and I could never pretend or try to replace that love you had for her,” you began, trying to phrase what you wanted him to understand.

“Harry, she would want you to be happy, to keep living.” You said, rubbing your fingers softly through his hair.

“Your mind is lying to you, this is not a betrayal, you could never betray that love” you finished.

You felt him nod his head, still hugging you. His hands tightening around you. You stayed like that for a few minutes, letting him process your words.

His hand moved tangled in your shirt, pulling you down to his lap, allowing him to hug you closer, your arms went around his neck as he held you, burying his face in your hair.

“Would you give me a second chance?” He whispered against your skin, he needed to move on, to show you how much he cared for you.

“Harry, I” you began, scare that if you did he would hurt you again, you wouldn’t be able to get over that if it happened again.

“Please y/n, I need to show you how much you mean to me, please” he begged you, planting a soft kiss to the side of your neck.

“Only if you are sure you want to go through with this, to see where it could lead us” you told him, aware of the risk you were taking.

“I am” he confirmed, his hands running up your back.

Your own hands tangled again in his hair, pulling him to you, your lips connecting, softer this time, slower, he was taking his time exploring your mouth. You broke away from the kiss, looking at him while removing his glasses and putting them aside, leaning back down to kiss him.

His hand went under your shirt, caressing your back, feeling the soft skin as his kisses became hungrier. He moved his mouth across your jawline, delivering soft kisses and moving down your neck, obtaining a few sighs from you, his lips leaving a trail of open mouth kisses.

He got up slowly, tangling your legs around his waist he moved you both to your bedroom. Leaving you back down against the bed, removing his jacket before lowering himself on top of you.

This time his mind was clear, his only focus was you. To show you how much he wanted you and needed you. His hands found the hem of your shirt, looking at you for consent before removing it. He took the time to admire you, looking at every detail of your skin. He lowered himself, kissing your neck, the top of your breast as his hands ran up your waist, squeezing slightly before moving to your breast, caressing them and feeling the softness of them.

Your hands removed his shirt, aching to feel him bare against your skin. You moved your hands to his shoulders, feeling the way his muscles tensed and how they relaxed when you moved your hands down his back, his kisses trailed up back to your neck, kissing and nipping at the skin while his hand moved to caress your leg, running up your thigh to your ass, squeezing it and feeling how your body reacted to his touches.

Your hands moved to his pants, opening them but leaving them like that, giving him the option to remove them himself whenever he felt ready.

His hands found the hem of your underwear, once again he looked at you, wanting to make sure you still wanted this, you nodded while he removed them, his hand trailing back up to feel you, feel how soft you were and how wet he was making you. He groaned once his hand connected to your center, feeling the slickness covering his fingers as he moved them across your entrance, he love the way you moaned for him, throwing your head back. He buried his face in your neck at the same time his finger moved inside of you, opening you up for him. You gripped his hair as his lips sucked a mark onto your skin. Soon after another finger found its way inside of you; he was getting you ready. He curled them inside, making a long moan fall out of you as your eyes rolled back in your head. He could feel the way you pulled him in, how you squeezed him and dripped on his fingers. He moved them faster, grinding his palm onto your clit, drawing an orgasm out of you. He wanted you to come first, knowing that he wouldn’t last long.

He felt you tightening around his fingers, as you lifted yourself on your elbows, coming while moaning into his mouth.

He helped you ride out your orgasm, taking in the face you made for him, the way your eyes looked up at him half lidded and your teeth caught your lips to stop the moans from coming out. He adored the way you looked, how warm you felt against him.

He quickly pulled his pants down along with his underwear, letting his cock free. He grabbed it, feeling it throbbing in his hand, the head moist from the precum that had leaked out.

He stroked himself a few times before moving the head against your entrance. His arms trembling when he started to push in. He closed his eyes as he bottomed out, groaning against your skin as the feeling of your warmth surrounding him. He started to move slowly, lifting you to pull almost completely out before dropping you down again. He kissed your neck, biting softly at it, trying to distract himself to last a little longer. He doubted he would after so long. You felt so warm and divine around him. His pace quickened, hearing you moan while he grunted, feeling his orgasm building up. He was close, he could feel his muscles tingling and his cock ready to burst in you.

Your hands found his face, holding his cheeks to bring him to you, kissing him as he started to come inside, having to break himself from your mouth to moan into the air. That was a sigh you never wanted to forget. He moved himself to rest against your chest, hiding his face in your neck and breathing you in while your hands played with his back. He hadn’t felt this calm, this content in such a long time. He loved the peace you brought him, and he promised himself that no matter what, he would never hurt you again, he would keep you safe, he would love you and cherish you for the rest of his days if you would have him.

[rainpuddle13]

I'll do everyone a favour and ask about

8. KQ Philip's Shirt

I honestly didn’t think anyone remembered Killer | Queen. This makes so happy!  Thank you, @letterfromtrenwith, for making my day with this ask!

Naughtiness behind the cut...

~~**~**~**~~

“Take off your shirt,” Alice commanded, smacking his questing hand away from her backside and frowning now that she could see the extent of Philip’s injuries in the harsh light of the kitchen, “and sit down.  I need to see to those ribs.”

“It’s not all that bad,” he murmured, surprising her by doing as he was told for once and took a seat at the head of the long table.  She could feel his dark eyes fixated on her as she moved about the room gathering supplies. 

“I’ll be the judge of that,” she said sternly, undoing his tie and pulling the vermillion patterned silk free from his neck to drape across the chair next to him.  He’d worn it that evening because he knew it was her favorite.

He huffed and started undoing the buttons of his navy blue striped waistcoat. “Since when did you become not fun?”

“When you nearly got knifed right in front of me,” she answered. “So don’t try to tell me it’s nothing.”  Maggie, God bless her, had restocked the cupboard with the basic first aid supplies Alice would need to see to Philip. “Once I’ve wrapped your ribs, I’ll see about getting a steak for your eye.”

“I’d much rather you kiss me.” He nabbed her by the hips, spinning her to face him and tugging her forward to stand between his spread knees, a rakish grin on his handsome face.

“Philip Padraig!” she cried, squirming to escape, and feeling his big, warm hands sliding up the back of her thighs.  “What has gotten into you?”

“More like what’s about to get into you…” he chuckled, his fingers busily working under the silk of her knickers.

Alice smacked lightly at his shoulder to see if he would straighten up, knowing how hard he was to resist when he was in such a playful mood.  Now was not the time for his funny business, so she told him in no uncertain terms while trying to untangle herself from his grasp,  “You going to bed as soon as we’re done here.”

“Are we?” he queried, hazel eyes twinkling dangerously, causing her stomach to flutter. “I’d rather fancied fucking you right here on the table.”

“Did you now?” she asked, and busied herself with sorting the bandages on the table so she wouldn’t have to look at him. There was nothing she loved more when he was demanding of her, and he knew it. Plus his blackening eye made him look exceptionally roguish. She liked that, a lot. The truth was she wanted him to take her on the table, be rough with her, leave fingerprint bruises on her thighs where he’s gripped her hard as he fucked her, making her scream when she finally came. She wanted that more than anything.

Philip smiled slowly when he lifted her easily to sit on the edge of the table, sliding his hands down to her knees to spread her legs wide so he could step between them. It was as if he knew exactly what she’d just been thinking. “You were saying?”

“I wasn’t,” she said, trying desperately for some semblance of control.  He was hurt. She had to see to his injuries. The only problem was Philip wasn’t playing fair, not that he ever did.  “Your ribs.”

“Hmmm,” he hummed, tugging roughly on the black sand crepe silk skirt she wore to pull it out of the way.  She froze when he very tenderly nipped the fluttering pulse point on the right side of her neck, trying to stave off the explosion of desire when his fingers slipped between the slick folds of her sex. Alice was helpless to resist the onslaught. “You want me,” he stated matter-of-factly. “I can feel it, smell it.”

“God damn you,” she growled in frustration, grabbing at the buckle of his belt, fingers fumbling with the task in her haste to get to her hands on his cock.

Philip laughed and pushed her hands away to undo the belt himself, leaving the trousers to hang low on his hips. “Impatient, impatient.”

“Off!” she ordered, grabbing at the fine cotton of his crisp dress shirt. “I want to see you.”

“I think I like you like this,” he remarked, clearly amused, as he slowly undid enough buttons he could pull both his dress shirt and undershirt off together, dropping them to the floor. “All needy and demanding.”

She dragged her hands over his chest and down his stomach, scritching her nails in the thick, dark mat of hair covering the hard muscles underneath and smirking when she could feel his stomach quiver.  “Oh, yeah?” she purred, hooking her feet behind his thighs, not even bothering to kick off her stilettos.  “Then show me.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said with a smirk, reaching for the neckline of the sheer bronze blouse and ripped it open to expose the ivory silk camisole beneath.  He mumbled what she thought was “so beautiful” before burying his face between her breasts, taking turns to nip and suck each globe of flesh lovingly until she was arching her back and clinging to his shoulders for dear life. 

“Oh God, yes!” Alice mewled breathlessly, need coursing through her veins with each pounding beat of her heart. 

[thethoughtsfromthreeam]

California

Pairing: Agent Whiskey/Jack Daniels x OC

Warnings: Smut

A/N:  As promised, a whole chapter of smut (of the fluffiest kind)

Reminder: I haven’t seen Kingsman: The Golden Circle, so I’m just using the Wikia, IMDB.com, some gifs, and my own weird ass brain to make up this whole ass story.

Tag List:  @zeldasayer , @romanticgumchewer, @tarrevizslas , @coolmaybelateruniverse , @the-feckless-wonder, @lavenderl3mons , @pascalisthepunkest , @mandoandyodito​ , @randomness501 [please message me to be added or subtracted]

[PART 1]  [PART 2]  [PART 3]  [PART 4]  [PART 5] [PART 6]  [PART 7]  [PART 8]  [PART 9]  [PART 10]  [PART 11]  [PART 12]  [PART 13]

Part 14 

At Last 

The soft twilight outside his office window forced Jack to turn on his desk lamp.  The pile of transfer reports he had been working on since early afternoon was almost complete.  He found himself sad to see several of the young trainees go, but Kingsman was in desperate need of agents and he was proud to send them over.  They’ll thrive under Tequila, he thought.

Once the last report was finished and signed off, he sat back and stretched.  The cracking of his neck felt good.  He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms before putting them back on.  He sat for a bit, lost in thought, when his phone buzzed.  He picked it up and realized he had a text.

‘Hungry? I’m starting dinner’

‘Yep. I’ll be up soon.’

‘Good. Love you.’

‘Love you, too.’

He put his phone in his pocket as he stood up.  His eyes lingered on the front of his desk where he nearly fucked Shirley this afternoon.  He had been so fucking close and even though he “took care of it” like Shirl told him to, it wasn’t enough, not when she had been there and wanting him so damn bad. Rubbing his hands over his face, he groaned at the memory.

You’re going home to her, stupid, move already, he told himself. After gathering up the reports to drop off, he turned off the light and shut the office door.  He popped into Brandy’s empty office and left the files on her desk with a note attached and sent a text to follow up.  Getting into the elevator, he turned off his phone and impatiently tapped his toes as he rode to the eighth floor.  Shirley moved in with him about year after her return and coming home to her was always the best part of his day.

When he opened the door, he found the house quiet.  The kitchen table was set, and it certainly smelled like something was cooking, but he didn’t see Shirley anywhere.  He hung his hat on the hook next to the door and dropped his keys in the holder.  He stepped over to the table and there was his named scrawled on a note.  He opened it.

Appetizers in the bedroom  ~M

The grin bloomed on his face as he set it down and walked down the hallway. He found the door ajar and when he opened it, his breath was taken away.  Only the nightstand lights were on, putting the room in a soft glow.  In the middle of the bed sat Shirley, her hair down around her shoulders and propped up against the pillows.  Her legs were stretched out before her, feet bare, and she had her arms laying gently beside her torso.  She wore the dress.

“Hello, cowboy.”  Her voice was soft and practically purred.  He could see her eyes darken at the sight of him and he was certain his was doing the same thing.  He stood in the doorway and took off his boots and then his jacket and belt before finally removing his shirt.  He stood there in just his pants.

“Hello.”

She didn’t move as he walked across the room to the end of the bed. She held her hand out to him and he crawled across to her.  When he reached her, he laid flush against her body, propping himself on his forearms to look at her.  She brought her arms around his shoulders and leaned forward to kiss the tip of his nose.

“I thought you were making dinner.”

“I did, it won’t be ready for a few hours.”  She grinned at him and he grinned back before gently placing his lips on hers.  The kiss was soft and sweet at first but as he shifted and placed one of his hands on her hip, he grew more heated.  She responded by opening her mouth and darting out her tongue.  He opened for her and they deepened the kiss.  He grew hard at her panting breaths.

His thumb traced lazy circles on her hip, and she began to shift as her body responded to the two front stimulation she was experiencing.  She moved her arms under his to grasp his back and her legs opened wider to accommodate him.  She felt her core grow heavier and she ready for him.  She hadn’t realized how much she had missed this, and it was making her lightheaded.

Jack broke off the kiss to pepper her jaw and then her neck with soft pecks of his lips.  The gentleness in which he touched her combined with the soft hairs of his mustache tickled her and she giggled before drawing up her shoulders in an automatic response. He grinned against her skin but kept going slowly across her collarbone and then down to her cleavage.  He glanced up at her to find her staring at him with hooded eyes.  They both remember the last time they were in a similar position.

He pulled at the dress’ neckline to kiss further down when he realized she wore no bra.  She smiled at the way his eyes brows shot up and moaned as his eyes seemed to grow darker with lust.  His hand reached down to untie the belt of the dress and the neckline gaped open. He pulled it wider and her breasts spilt out.  He moaned. This is exactly what he wanted, the feel of this dress against his skin and her exposed to his look and touch. He bent his head down and gently kissed each breast.  Shirley pulled her hands from his back and laced her fingers through his hair.

“Oh, Jack. . .”  She breathed, hips jerking at the spikes of heavy pleasure deep within her when he began sucking on her nipple.  They were always so sensitive, and Jack knew it.  Nothing else he could do to her would turn her on as fast as playing with her breasts.  He brought his hand up from her hip to play with her other nipple and her body curled into him.  Her moans were coming deep from her throat as he kissed along her chest and lapped at the other nipple.

When he gently bit down on the one and pinched the other, she cried out suddenly.  Her hips jerked against him and he realized she came.  She dropped back on the pillows slightly dazed, her orgasm catching her by surprise.  She started to laugh, albeit shaky, and looked down at him.  He smiled at her.

“Well that was unexpected.”  She said, drawing a breath and then another as his hand moved from her breast down to her stomach.  His smile was smug, but when he dipped his hands under her dress to find her with no underwear, it was her turn to look smug.

“Marigold, you’re killing me here.”  He groaned and he could feel his cock twitched at the wetness of her heat.  “You feel so good, love.”

“Jack, you gotta touch me.”  She mumbled as his thumb found her clit and began making slow circles.  The sensitivity from her first orgasm meant that she felt everything, and it was almost overwhelming.  She rested her head against his and their heavy breaths mingled with each other.  Her eyes fluttered shut at the sensation and before she could open them, she could feel him shift away from her body and move downwards.

He kissed between her breasts again and then every few inches pressed his lips against her torso, letting the fabric of the dress tickle them.  As he moved, his hands gently pulled the dress higher on Shirley’s hips until she was exposed to him.  He continued to kiss down, planting one more just below her belly button.  He laid his cheek on the springy curls on her mound and closed his eyes.  He felt her fingers lightly drag through his hair.

He turned his face and pressed his nose briefly against her before he pulled back and yanked her down the bed, so she was flat against the mattress. The dress bunched up under her bust, pushing her breasts higher up.  Shirley widened her legs and drew them up to let Jack move his shoulders under her thighs. She brought her hands down to the back of his head when he laid back down.

Before she could react, he pressed his face down into her mound and dragged his tongue up her slit.  Her back arched off the bed and she cried out.  Before her hips had a chance to move, he used his right forearm to hold her down.  He began to lick her earnestly, focusing on her clit.  The sensations she would normally feel were heightened by her first orgasm and she practically sobbed when he stuck his finger inside of her and began pumping in and out.  When he added a second finger, she knew she was done for.

The tightness in her stomach pulled impossibly tighter and she practically saw stars when she came the second time.  Her sobs sounded ripped from her throat and her hips jerked almost violently.  The death grip she had on his hair must have hurt him, but he didn’t show it. Instead, he remained still until she collapsed back into the pillows, panting heavily.

Jack smiled and felt a twinge of pride knowing he alone made her feel like this.  Her flushed face, swollen lips, and the little twitches of her hips – all him. He was rock hard and felt that he could have come right there just looking at her.  She looked at him, her eyes slightly glazed over and full of lust. He raised him self up and stretched out over her.  When his pants bushed against her clit, her hips jerked against his erection.

He leaned down to kiss her, and she brought her hands to his face. Shirley couldn’t believe she came twice already, and her body practically hummed from the joy of it. She let her fingertips lightly trace his cheeks and chin, where she could feel the stubble already forming. She brushed a thumb against his chin and then down his throat.  

She brought both hands down and against his shoulders.  Shirley clutched at them briefly before she pulled her lips from his. He looked at her with such longing and she knew her face must look the same.  She pushed against him and off her.  As she maneuvered him onto his back, she pushed herself to her knees.

“Marigold, you don’t have to do this.”  He said quietly.

“Oh, but I want to.”  Jack settled back, slightly propped up on the pillows, a reversal from where he found her the first time.  She reached down to unbutton his pants and together they got them off him, along with his boxer briefs.  She dropped them to the side of the bed and then straddled him.  Jack swallowed hard when he saw her – this vision, the woman he loved – sitting on him, encased in that damned dress and looking at him wantonly.

Shirley felt intoxicated, she hadn’t been this free and open with him in years.  Seeing him looking at her with such lust, it made her core clench in want.  She was of the rare variety that could never feel comfortable giving a blow job no matter how lusty she felt.  She wasn’t sure if it was the sheer ridiculous look of it or her terrible gag reflex, but if Jack resented not have her mouth on his cock, he never let on to her.  On rare occasions in the past, she’d lick up his cock, maybe pressing a kiss on the tip, but that’s about as far as she’d go.  Instead, she worked to make her hand jobs spectacular.  He loved her hands after all.

She settled herself on his thighs, widening her legs more than normal to allow the dress to hang down and hide her from his sight.  Jack could feel her heat against him and brought his hands to her hips and bit down on his lower lip.  His eyes fluttered shut as her nails gently scraped up his cock and when she reached the sensitive head, he felt his hips jerk in time with his gasp.

She smoothed the bead of precum around his head and quietly spit into her hand.  Using both hands she gently grabbed his cock and began to move her hands around it. Her grip was firm and unrelenting, working him up and down.  His hooded eyes watched her when she suddenly smiled and removed them.  He groaned at the loss of her heat, but gasped when he realized what she going to do.  She was pulling at the skirt of her dress and he could see a flash of her nudity underneath. She draped the skirt over his cock and the soft brushed cotton rubbed against him as she put her hands back into place over the fabric.

“Oh fuck, Marigold, fuck!” His groans were loud and the veins in his neck jutted out.  She merely smiled.

The tension in his belly increased and he found himself slowly fucking her hands, relishing the feel of the fabric rubbing against him.  She grinned when he tightened the grip on her hips after she moved one hand lower to fondle his balls.  Shirley could see the ripple of muscles under his stomach as she increased her speed.  As he got louder with his moans, she bent down to kiss along his chest, flicking her tongue against one nipple and then the other.

“Fuck, Marigold, I’m going to come if you don’t stop.”  He gritted the words out and he was certain his grip on her hips would leave bruises tomorrow.

“No more?”

“I want to come inside you, love, not in your hand.”  He wasn’t sure how he was even able to form words anymore, his brain felt like mush.  For a moment after she removed her hands and the skirt, he almost regretted his words, until he opened his eyes and watched as she lifted herself up and grasped his cock at the base.  He helped guide her down on him and he watched her as her eyes fluttered shut.

Yes, she thought, this is what I needed.  His thickness filled her completely and for a moment, she didn’t move just to feel him stretch her out.  She wasn’t sure if it was her newfound freedom or the length of time since they last made love that made her so sensitive, but she was here for it. Slowly she lifted her hips and he hiss loudly at the movement.  She brought them back down slowly and she opened her eyes to look into his.  As she slowly began to ride him, Jack sat up and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Oh Jack.”  She said as she looped her arms around his neck and bowed her head down to touch his.

“Marigold, god,” he rasped.  “You feel so fucking good, baby.”

Soon feeling her wasn’t enough, he began to rock his hips in time with her and soon they picked up speed.  With her breasts bouncing in front of him, he couldn’t resist taking one nipple into his mouth and sucking on it.  She cried out and curled into him.  Her hips stuttered at the sensation, but his kept up the pace.

“Jack, I’m going to come.”  She whispered in his ear.  “Make me come, baby, again.”

He groaned at her words and moved his hips upward faster.  He buried his face into her neck and dropped his hands to her ass to move her on his dick.  He could feel his orgasm rising and he wasn’t sure if he could be gentle with her.

“Jack, fuck me.  Harder.”

His control snapped and he drove into her with almost animalistic force. Her cries became louder and he was sure everyone in the goddamn building could hear his moans.  Suddenly, Shirley went rigid and he knew her orgasm hit her. She screamed, tightening her grip on his shoulders.  Her core clamped down on his cock and he growled as he began to come in her. Their shared orgasm seemed to last forever but eventually he fell backwards, and she collapsed on top of him. They couldn’t hear anything else but their collective hearts pounding in their chests.  He wrapped his arm around her and held her close.

Soon their breathing returned to normal and he withdrew from her.  They laid there a bit longer before Shirley propped her head up on his chest and looked at him.  The contentment on his face thrilled her and she smiled broadly.

“What’s that smile for, moonshine?” He asked lazily as his fingers traced abstract patterns over her back.

“That was a pretty good appetizer.”  She giggled as he began to laugh loudly along with her.

[daydreaming-nerd]

Moon River (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Summary: Bucky has a nightmare and the reader hears him and comes to take care of him the only way she can think of.

Warnings: Nightmare, bucky has a panic attack, shy bucky, friends to lovers, tooth rotting fluff, like guys the end is so fluffy I can’t let me tell you this a feel good story. 

an: here’s an old draft I’ve been saving for a rainy day. It’s inspired by Moon River from Breakfast at Tiffany’s! Here’s the inspo for this whole fic. 

It was just another night at the tower. My bare feet padded across the cold hardwood floor towards the kitchen to fill up my water cup. As I was waiting for my glass to fill I looked out at the city lights. Most people prefer mountains and valleys but I’ve always preferred the twinkling lights on the black sky. 

As if on queue I heard a scream coming from one of the rooms. A scream that was so loud I could feel it go through my ears and down my spine causing my body to shudder.

I ran as fast as I could towards the rooms. It didn’t take me long to realize it was coming from Bucky’s room. When I threw open the door I expected at least a dozen intruders and one very injured Bucky, but instead I found him thrashing around in his bed screaming so loud his throat must feel like sand paper. 

I ran over to him and immediately tried to wake him up.

“Bucky! Bucky wake up!” I screamed shaking his shoulders. “BUCKY WAKE UP ITS JUST A DREAM!” I yelled at the top of my lungs.

All of the sudden he woke up and before I could even ask him if he was okay he started to panic. Shaking and crying he latched onto me burying his head in my chest. His rapid breaths hitting the neckline of my tank top. 

I would be completely lying if it said I knew exactly what to do in this situation. I had never talked to Bucky before now. If it wasn’t for my close friendship with Steve I’m sure he wouldn’t even know my name. Never the less we were practically strangers, yet here he sat clinging to me like I was the first human he had seen in ten years. I thought hard and fast about what always relaxes me. I started by lying down on my back so he was lying on top of me. Immediately after my brain ran to a song from my favorite move and I figured there was no way I could make it any worse. As I begun to sing I ran my hand up and down his back in a soothing manner. 

Moon river, wider than a mile

I'm crossing you in style some day.

Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker

Wherever you're goin', I'm goin' your way

Two drifters, off to see the world

There's such a lot of world to see.

We're after the same rainbow's end, waitin' 'round the bend

My huckleberry friend, moon river, and me...

Almost as soon as it had all started it ended. Bucky sat fast asleep on top of me and I didn’t dare move. I would get up earlier in the morning to avoid the awkwardness. 

----------------------------

When I woke up the next morning I totally missed my mark. I sat in an empty bed where Bucky used to be. I sighed and walked out into the kitchen. There he was at the stove making scrambled eggs. My favorite mug was sitting on the counter filled with coffee. 

“Hi” Bucky said shyly turning around to put his eggs on a plate.

“Hi,” I said back. 

“I uh- I made you some coffee,” he said nodding towards my mug immediately casting his head down as if I were about to disapprove of the gesture.

“Thank you,” I said sitting down with it.

A silence ensued. Both of us knew what had happened last night but neither of us wanted to say anything. I wanted to tell him it was okay and that my heart went out to him. That he could always come to me. But the fact that we were still technically strangers silenced me. 

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Don’t be it happens to everyone,” I said.

“Not as frequently though,” he said sadly.

“Well don’t be ashamed, I know you don’t really know me but I’m always here for you if you need it,” 

“Thank you,” he said with a small smile.

I have to admit part of me hoped he would want to see me again.

--------------------------- 

The next time I heard from Bucky Barnes was when I got back from my run to find pink peonies sitting on my nightstand with a note scribbled in his handwriting.

I’m sorry again...thank you y/n.

-Bucky

I immediately changed and walked to the gym where I saw him training before I left. He has just finished up and was leaving.

“Thank you for the flowers,” I said.

“Oh-oh you’re welcome,” he said bashfully a red tint coming to his cheeks.

“I had to know,” I started “How did you know pink peonies were my favorite?” 

“I uh- I asked Steve,” He said scratching the back of his neck “Sorry thats probably really creepy” he added embarrassed. 

“No it’s not creepy, it’s sweet,” I said with a smile before walking towards the showers.

“Hey y/n can I ask you something?” Bucky said.

“Yes of course,”

“What was that song last night?” He said

“It’s called Moon River, it’s from my favorite movie Breakfast At Tiffany’s” I replied.

“Moon river,” he repeated to himself “I’ll remember that” he said walking towards his room.

---------------------------

I didn’t hear from Bucky for three days after that. I had assumed that all was well until one night I was woken up by F.R.I.D.A.Y around 4am 

“Miss l/n, it appears Mr. Barnes is in a high amount of distress. He is requesting your presence in his room.” 

I threw off my covers and ran straight to his room. When I got there I expected to see him in the middle of another bad dream but instead he just sat straight up on his bed still semi tucked into the covers wearing only an old pair of sweats. He let out a sniffle and when I sat down next to him I could tell that he had not slept since the last time I spoke to him. 

I reached my hand out to cup his face and he leaned into my touch and looked at me with the saddest eyes in the world. I got up and sat on his lap and pulled him into my chest thinking I could hug all the sad out of him. 

“What happened?” I asked running a hand through his hair.

“I thought I could just listen to the song and it would put me to sleep that way I wouldn’t bother you. But it’s not the same if you don’t sing it to me,” He said wrapping his arms around me to keep me put. 

“Come here,” I said lying down just like I did the first night and began singing to him.

When I was sure he was sound asleep I tried to wiggle out of his grasp so he could sleep more soundly. I almost succeeded when I felt Bucky stir.

“Please don’t go,” he said half asleep.

If there was one thing I couldn’t say no to it was Bucky Barnes.

So I climbed back into his bed and he instantly wrapped his arm around me only to rip it away.

“What’s wrong Buck?” I said.

“My metal arm. I don’t wanna hurt you,” he said sadly already turning around to face away from me.

“You won’t hurt me Buck I promise,” I said grabbing his metal arm and pulling him towards me again. 

He didn’t protest he just rolled back over and wrapped his metal arm around me. The vibranium was cold but I didn’t mind because it reminded me that Bucky was with me. 

--------------------------------

I woke up the next morning with the light of the sun on my face. I could hear Bucky’s steady breathing behind me. I peaked behind me to find he was still asleep.

I started getting out of bed only to have his hand clench around my waist. I giggled to myself and slowly pried his hand off getting out of bed. I stopped to look at him. He was so peaceful, this way despite the small look of disapproval that had subconsciously took over his face when I wiggled away from his grasp. I tip toed into the kitchen to start making breakfast. 

I was on my last Mickey Mouse shaped pancake when I heard a familiar voice.

“I feel like I should be the one making you breakfast,” Bucky said walking towards the plate of bacon next to me and the stove. 

“You had a rough night last night, and besides I felt like making Mickey pancakes,” I replied.

I put a plate together and handed it to him.

“Thanks doll,” he said blushing.

He sat down at the counter and all of the sudden the name he had just given me had sunk in leaving butterflies in my stomach.

“Doll?” I questioned.

“I’m uh... I’m sorry it slipped,” He said getting flustered. 

“Don’t be sorry I liked it,” I smiled setting down my plate across from his. 

I started eating a piece of bacon and then he got his courage to speak again.

“This is really good,” he started “Thank you again”

“Don’t mention it, I’d never pass up the opportunity to make Mickey pancakes. Disney is kinda my thing,” 

“I remember when Snow White came out, Bambi too. I always liked Bambi better.” he said before taking another bite.

“Bambi is one of my favorite’s as well. You know when you go to an art gallery and look at a painting and try to imagine the world inside of it and the story inside that world? That’s what I think watching Bambi is like.” I said.

“I never thought of it like that,” he said.

We both shoved another enormous bite on our mouths

“You know, I’ve never actually seen Breakfast At Tiffany’s,” he confessed.  

“It’s an older movie, not as old as you, but old” I joked.

“Ouch,” he smiled.

“Don’t worry Barnes, you look pretty good for an old man,” I said with a wink putting my plate in the sink and walking towards my room. “8 o’clock tonight” 

“8 o’clock tonight for what?” he asked.

“Watching Breakfast At Tiffany’s of course!”

-----------------------------------

From that night forward I had fallen head over heels for the soldier. Something about him just pulled me in and made me feel safe, made me feel like I had come home after being gone for years. We did everything together but Bucky was still shy with me at times. Never really opening up just always there beside me. The team made fun of him calling him my shadow. I never faulted him for it though. He might’ve been the one to always come find me and ask me what I was up to but in reality I was the one always hoping he would. Most nights he could make it through without needing me to save him from a nightmare but whenever he did I was always there to sing Moon River to him.

Two months passed and another one of my birthdays had arrived faster than I wanted it to. I was never a fan of birthdays. For me the whole experience was terribly awkward. Which would explain as to why I never let the team know. 

I had gone most of the day being able to avoid everyone just in case, but I knew at some point a certain soldier would be knocking at my door and honestly I didn’t mind.

When that quiet little knock finally did come though I told him to come in. He walked in holding a box wrapped in yesterdays newspaper.

“Happy Birthday doll,” he said  sitting down on the bed next to me handing me the box.

“Oh Bucky you shouldn’t have” I said giving him a hug. 

“Natasha said I should’ve used prettier wrapping paper but I didn’t even know how to wrap a present let alone how to make it pretty and I really hope that’s okay-” he rambled.

“shhhh Bucky I love it already,” I said starting to tear the newspaper off. 

Once I got all the paper off I opened the package and inside was a silver box shaped like a heart. 

“Oh Bucky it’s-”

“I wanted to give you something from Tiffany but I couldn’t afford it,”He said sadly. “So I did the next best thing,” he said insinuating for me to open the box.

I lifted the silver lid and music started to play. It was a music box, a music box that played Moon River. The inside of the lid was engraved, it said ‘For my best girl’ 

Tears started to fill my eyes. I couldn’t believe how beautiful it was.

“What is it doll? Do you not like it?” Bucky said anxiously.

“In all my years, no ones ever given me such a beautiful and thoughtful gift. Bucky I absolutely love it,” I said letting a few tears fall down my face. 

“y/n, I love you,” He blurted out.

“Bucky I-” 

“Wait that’s not on my script,” he started “y/n I love you. I love how you can never make regular pancakes because you think it’s a waste of batter to not make them look like Mickey Mouse. I love how you make me feel like I’m the only person in the world. I love how I miss you even when you’re just down the hall. I love how you help me understand technology without being condescending. I love how soft your skin is and how you always smell like vanilla and strawberries. I love how calm your voice is and how beautiful you look when the sunrises and you’re still asleep. I love how you always feel like home to me even when I haven’t felt that feeling since 1945. I love how two months ago when you heard me screaming you came in and took care of me even though you didn’t even know me. And I just- I love you! And I know I don’t deserve you and I know you must think I’m a fool, but I couldn’t hold it in any longer.” he said.

“Bucky, I love you too.” I smiled

“You do?” he asked stunned at my response. 

“Of course I do! How could I not?” I laughed 

“You’re not just saying this to make me happy right?”

“No Bucky I really do love you,” I beamed.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked.

“You better!”

Without another word he grabbed the back of my neck and connected our lips. It was everything I ever wanted it to be. He was soft and gentle, every word he said to me came to life in that kiss as his lips moved against mine. Before things got too heated we pulled apart.

“You’re mine?” He said pressing his forehead to mine smiling. 

“All yours Barnes,” I said sealing my promise with a kiss.

PLEASE LEAVE ME A COMMENT IF YOU LIKED IT! GETTING A FEEDBACK FROM YOU GUYS IS THE REASON I WRITE! I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED IT AS MUCH AS I LOVED WRITING IT! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! THANK YOU! STAY SAFE AND STAY HEALTHY <3

[kristannarubbish]

learn to do it (chapter two)

aka “princess diaries but make it norway + kristanna”

rating: T for language

word count: 2.6k

pairing: kristanna (always!)

part 2/10ish

“Anna!” Olaf burst into the room, looking very disheveled, “Get up! Get up! You’re going to be late.” He shook her body and ripped the bed covers off.

“Olaf stop that isn’t funny!” Anna’s morning voice cracked as her bleary eyes slowly blinked open, “Didn’t I say 7?” She took a quick glance at the clock, then did a double take. 8:30. 

“Holy fuck!” The redhead jumped out of bed and immediately ran towards her small closet, “Shit, shit, shit, shit!”

“Anna I’m so sorry!” Olaf exclaimed as he grabbed the dress she picked out while they were wine tipsy last night.

“Thanks, and I don’t... have time... to be... upset!” Anna stammered as she ripped her big t-shirt off. After getting tangled in it, Olaf steadied her and handed her the dress.

“I must have overslept because I thought you getting a letter from the queen of Arendelle was a fever dream. Usually my body clock is better than this, you know that. It must have been the win-” 

“Olaf it’s fine! Just please help me! How am I supposed to get to Midtown in 20 minutes?”

“Anna, just breathe. I... don’t think that it’s humanly possible. You’ll only be a little late.”

“I can’t be late to a meeting with a queen of a country I haven’t even heard of!”

“Anna, you’ve never heard of Arendelle? Like ever? Did you take world history?”

“Of course I did, but I guess I just don’t remember it coming up? I’m not a royal follower like you. If they aren’t my ruler, it’s not exactly my top priority!”

Anna was getting a little aggressive, but Olaf understood given the circumstances, that were, to a degree, his fault. “Okay maybe I do follow fancy Europeans a little closely, but here’s a crash course. Arendelle is the country next to Sweden. It’s small, but has a bit of political leeway. Their reigning monarch is Queen Sonja, who was married to King Runeard, but he died a few years back I think... I can’t remember.”

“Okay, thank you so much Olaf, but I have to go,” Anna said as she finished sliding on her black low pumps to match the neckline of her emerald dress. 

“Heels, Anna? Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Olaf cocked an eyebrow at her.

“It’s going to make up for the lack of effort I put in up here,” Anna motioned to her face. She hurried over to the door and grabbed her things.

“Alright,” Olaf followed her over to the door, “fill me in when you get home, yeah?”

“Yup, bye! Love you! Thank you!” Anna called as she raced down the stairs of their walk up. 

“Tell the queen I said hi!” Olaf shouted down the stairs, laughing to himself.

*****************************

Anna bolted to the nearest subway station where the R stopped, the train that would get her to Midtown the fastest. On her way, just as Olaf had silently warned, Anna tripped on a break in the sidewalk, skinning both her knees. 

“Great. Just peachy,” Anna muttered to herself. She let herself sit for a second and catch her breath after she realized there was nothing she could do about her bloody knees. After a deep sigh, she picked herself back up and pressed on to the subway station.

The R train was delayed. So here Anna was, sitting in a humid subway station biting her nails until they were nubs, with now frizzing hair and two bloody knees. Bet the queen would love to see this. Then it really hit Anna, for the first time, that she was going to meet a queen for God knows what reason, looking absolutely ridiculous.

What could she possibly want with me? What is she going to think of how messy I look? How does she even know I exist? Why does she want me? I am just another lousy American, right? Isn’t that what foreigners think of Americans? She’s probably different though. Am I even listening to myself think right now? We’re talking about the queen of an entire country. I sound so arrogant. 

Interrupting her obsessive thoughts, the R train finally pulled into the station. Anna sighed a long breath of relief, until she saw how crowded it was and of course everyone waiting at her station was getting on only this train. Nevertheless, she squeezed herself into the sardine packed train. Great, she was going to meet a queen smelling like B.O. and weed, while looking like something out of Rocky Horror.

*********************

There was a round of steady knocks on their apartment door. Olaf looked up from his phone, confused. He stood up slowly to go answer. He checked the peephole, and it was the same guy who had hand delivered the letter for Anna yesterday. Olaf opened the door.

“I’m here for Anna Andersen,” the tall man spoke down to Olaf.

“She’s not here. She just ran down to the subw- Oh,” Olaf mouth shut tight in realization.

“She took the subway?” The man’s eyebrow arched under his black sunglasses.

“Yeah, she didn’t know there would be a car, sorry about that.” 

“That’s fine, have a nice day Olaf,” the man turned to go and walked down the stairs quickly.

“You too,” Olaf called, then shut the door. “How did he know my name?”

*********************

Anna had finally reached the hotel in Midtown she guessed the Queen was staying in. Out of breath from running, she wanted to stop and catch it before meeting her, but she was 15 minutes late. 

Walking into the orante hotel lobby, Anna took in her golden surroundings. There were waiters waiting on people hand and foot, hell she thinks she even saw someone getting a foot massage! So this is how the other half lives. She was now aware that this is where the best of the best stayed. She was also aware that now, she stuck out like a sore thumb.

Stuck out enough apparently to quickly catch a man in black’s attention, he had an earpiece and everything. “Anna Andersen?” He said after approaching her.

“Is it that obvious?” Anna asked laughing lightly.

“Yes. Come with me,” he spoke sternly as they went through a door behind the front desk. Anna could feel cold stares even coming from the staff. She felt her cheeks warm with embarrassment, but then had a pit in her stomach that this reaction was going to pale in comparison to whatever monarch she was about to meet.

The man led to a secret elevator, which was somehow even more fancy than the lobby. There was a renaissance style painting of a girl in a field of flowers on the wall. It was small though, so Anna and the stranger were shoulder to shoulder. After a few moments of silence to the beginning of a long elevator ride to what she assumed was the top floor, Anna spoke.

“Can I know your name?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“It isn’t appropriate.”

“Well neither is you showing up at my apartment or following me home. That was you, right?” He did not respond as Anna inspected his face, “It was you!”

“You’re right, it was. But that was under her majesty’s orders.”

“Did she order you to not tell me your name?” Another silence from the stoic earpiece man. The elevator dinged and the door began to open.

“Mattias. My name is Mattias.”

“Nice to meet you Mattias,” Anna beamed, feeling strangely a tad more comfortable now that she knew one fact about the entire situation.

Anna turned to step out of the elevator and her mouth immediately dropped into an ‘o’ shape. This might be the most beautiful room she had ever seen in her life. There were carved columns that reached all the way up to the high painted ceiling that was illuminated by a skylight. The floor was marble and all the furniture looked too fancy to sit on. 

“Right in here Ms. Anderson,” Mattias called from a few feet away, holding onto the golden handle of a large door. 

When the door opened it was another room filled with paintings Anna was sure was worth more than the Manhattan itself. The light was so bright squinting was her only option. The sound of her own TJMaxx heels clicking on the marble floor was the only thing keeping Anna grounded in reality.

“You can sit in here and help yourself to some tea while you await her majesty, Ms. Anderson,” a nice lady in a maid’s outfit startled her.

“Oh, okay, thank you,” Anna said wearily as she sat herself down on a plush pink velvet chair by a large window. 

Maybe I’m not late. She thought as she poured some tea, which she honestly needed. I’m probably still early by Queen's standards. But seriously, if this is some sort of subconscious ploy by my brain to get me out of a coma, please wake me up now. 

“Excuse me?” An unfamiliar voice asked from behind. Appartently the redhead had been speaking aloud.

Anna startled and saw a poised looking woman with medium blonde hair, pale skin and sterling blue eyes. She was definitely older, but had an elegant air to her. The woman was wearing a pastel violet dress and a glittering crystal crown. 

“Oh! Uhm, hi. I’m Anna.” The redhead spoke as she set down her all too fancy tea cup.

The royal looked Anna up and down quizzically. “Anna Anderson?”

“Yup…” there was a beat of uncomfortable silence between the two, “that’s me.”

“I was expecting you would at least know that you do not sit in a queen’s presence without her permission.”

“Oh, sh...oot. I’m so so sorry.” Anna corrected and quickly stood up, with a sloppy attempt at a bow. There was another beat of thick, heavy silence between the two strangers.

The queen rolled her eyes slightly, “You can sit down.” 

Anna sat down quickly, starting to sweat just a little. This time it wasn’t from the sticky subway. Not knowing what to do with herself, she took another sip of tea. Her leg bounced as she awaited anxiously for one of them to say something.

“You’re probably wondering why I asked you to be here this morning,” the queen said stoically. 

Anna nodded slowly up at her, covering her skinned knees with her hands. The royal poured herself some tea with a soft mhm. Straightening her back, which Anna was confused that it was already as straight as it could get, the elder spoke to her with a straight tone.

“Well, as I’m not quite sure you know, I am Queen Sonja of Arendelle.”

“I know who you are.”

“Never can be too sure,” the queen paused, to prepare herself for something and Anna was practically about to spaz at endless possibilities of what she might say. 

A million thoughts raced through Anna’s head. Am I going to be married to a prince, like Royal Love Island or something? Maybe she was the older woman I crashed into at work a couple weeks back. Did I accidentally commit a crime in her country by changing my VPN to watch Friends on Netflix? I wouldn’t have done it if Olaf didn’t like the Thanksgiving episodes so much.

“Anna, are you listening?” Queen Sonja commanded her sternly. Anna sat straight up alarmingly.

“Yes, I’m sorry your majesty.” Anna had been sure to google how to address a queen on the train ride over. The queen nodded, softening a bit, and began her story.

“My son, Agnarr, was the crown prince of Arendelle. He had a lovely wife, Iduna, who became the crown princess of Arendelle once they were married. After their daughters were born, they decided to move to New York City before my husband and I abdicated the throne. Oh, and they had two very lovely daughters, whom I loved endlessly.” Queen Sonja began to get misty eyed, but quickly composed herself.

“Are you okay?” Anna wasn’t quite sure what to do, but asking if she was alright seemed right.

“Yes I am. Thank you.” Another deep breath and the queen was headfirst back into the story. “They moved here to try and experience more of the world so they could rule well rounded. But, one day, on a drive upstate to their estate away from the city, they got into a terrible crash.”

“Oh, I am so sorry,” Anna said with a sullen voice.

“Thank you. But I’m afraid some wounds never fully heal. All of them died, but the youngest daughter. I still miss them every day.”

“Well where is the youngest daughter now?” The redheaded woman became entranced in this story, that seemed like it would become a lullaby with an ominous warning in it one day.

“There is no easy way to say this. But, I am only delaying it if I don’t. You aren’t just Anna Anderson of New York City. You’re Anna Charlotte Elizabeth Anderson, Crown Princess of Arendelle.”

The room was absolutely still, so silent if someone dropped a pin, they could hear it yards away. Anna had no clue how to react, so she just laughed hysterically.

“Okay, where are the cameras?” Anna laughed, “Is it in the teapot?” She picked up the floral china and inspected it.

“What do you mean? Put that down!”

Anna obliged, still laughing, “This is some sort of reality prank, right? Am I gonna win like 10,000 dollars or something?”

“Anna,” Queen Sonja said sternly, “this is not a joke, or some silly reality television show. This is real life.”

The silence returned, and Anna blinked quickly, to try and wake herself out of whatever fever dream she was living.

“You’re serious.”

“Completely, Anna.”

“But- what about my parents? Why do I still live here if I’m a royal?”

“Well, we wanted you to grow up here so you could be the well rounded ruler your parents wished to be. Your adoptive parents have known the whole time, and are friends of the royal family.”

Anna stayed silent and slumped in the fancy plush pink chair. She wished that the soft fabric would just absorb her and she would never have to deal with this strange newborn reality.

“Now, Anna. I know this all must be shocking, but we needed to tell you soon since you are the next in line for succession.”

Anna shot up from her state of loathing, “I can’t run a country! Don’t you see me? I have skinned knees from running late to a meeting with a queen!”

Queen Sonja smiled at her patiently, “That’s why I’m in the city, to teach you how to be a true royal, if you so choose.”

“I don’t have to?”

“Technically, no. It will just be the end of the Anderson line in Arendelle history which is- well I won’t tell you how I feel about that. Just please consider it Anna.”

The young woman nodded slowly, standing up, still in a state of shock. “I have to go. I’ll uhm, let you know your majesty.” 

Before the queen or Mattias could stop her, Anna was rushing out the golden doors and to the secret elevator. After pressing the down button as quickly as possible, the doors shut. When they opened again, Anna ran through the hotel lobby, all of the aristocrats staring at her. She didn’t care, she just needed to get out. 

After running outside, Anna’s pale back leaned against the cool granite of the building adjacent to the hotel where her life just changed forever. Finally letting go, she let hot tears run down her face in hard sobs. She slid down the wall and sat in the alley off the busy street. 

What the fuck am I supposed to do now?

[silverarmedassassin]

Day Six: A Christmas Date

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (College AU) Word Count: 4269 - sorry this one kind of got away from me whoops Summary: Bucky is desperate to find a date for his fraternity's Christmas party. You happen to stumble into the conversation at the wrong time. Or is it? 

A/N: And we’re back! I’ve had a really rough past couple of days and couldn’t get any writing done, so I’m going to be playing catch up for the next few days. I hope to have days 7, 8 and 9 all out by tomorrow evening, but we’ll see. I have tomorrow off so I’ll have plenty of time to write and edit what I already have written! Enjoy! 

2019 Christmas Masterlist 

“Come on Stevie. Peggy has to have at least one cute single friend she can hook me up with!”

Steve looks over the top of the espresso machine he’s working with and glares at Bucky. His best friend is currently sulking over his coffee at the pick-up counter as he complains about this week’s girl issues. “Buck, I’m working.”

“But Dot’s gonna be there with her new boyfriend! If I show up alone, I’m gonna look like a total loser!”

“You’re going to look like a loser no matter what you do,” your voice chimes in as you walk up next to Bucky at the counter. You smile at Steve as he starts to prepare your usual order, and Bucky grumbles into his coffee. “What’s this one crying about now?”

“His fraternity is hosting a Christmas party and he doesn’t have a date. Word is Dottie’s gonna be there and Bucky’s freaking out.”

“Ahh,” you hum as you lean on your elbows and look towards Bucky. “What happened to the girl - was it Misty? - that’s been hanging around the past few weeks?

He glares at you as he straightens up. “It was Mandy. And we wanted...different things.”

“Oh, so she wanted something serious and you just wanted to get your dick wet?”

Bucky nearly chokes on his coffee, and you’re sure you’re going to have to call an ambulance on Steve for how hard he’s laughing. You can’t help but chuckle yourself as he leans over the counter to fist bump you between his wheezing.

“You know Buck,” Steve says as he attempts to steady himself, “you should take Y/N!”

“What!?” you and Bucky exclaim at the same time. Bucky in a panic and you shocked that Steve would even drag you into the situation.

“Yea! She knows you’re a terrible date, and she can put up with your shit. Plus, there’d be no,” Steve wiggles his eyebrows then, “expectations at the end of the night. And she’s the only one in the group that’s single.”

You scoff and cross your arms. “What about Carol? She’s not seeing anyone.”

“Everyone knows Carol is gay. It’d be too unbelievable.” Steve shrugs his shoulders like his suggestion is the obvious answer.

Bucky was quiet throughout the entire exchange while he fought his own internal battle. On one hand, he’d been considering asking you to be his date. Not out of desperation, but because he truly wanted to spend time with you, show you off not just to Dot, but to everyone.

But on the other hand, the sensible, realistic hand, he knew you’d laugh in his face if he’d ask you. Not that you were cruel, it was just that your friendship hadn’t always been as carefree and easy as it was now. Plus, he didn’t want to use you of all people to rub in Dot’s face.

The party was in less than eight hours, however, and he was getting a little bit desperate. Maybe Steve bringing up the date could really save him.

Fuck it, Bucky thinks to himself, I’m just gonna ask her.

“Yea! Come on, Y/N, be my date!” He puts on his best pouty face and bats his ridiculously long eyelashes at you. “Pleeeeease? Can’t you pretend you don’t hate me for just one night? I’ll buy you your coffee for an entire week straight. Please!”

“Okay! Okay, okay, you’re making a scene,” you shush Bucky as his pleas grow louder, drawing the attention of those sitting closest to the counter. “I’ll go with you, just stop!”

Bucky stops pouting and gives you an exasperated look. “Wait, really? You’ll really go with me?” He tries not to let the excitement seep through his tone.

You shrug nonchalantly. “It’s been a while since I’ve been to a good party. Plus, I’m never going to pass up free alcohol.”

Bucky bites his lip in an attempt to hold back a smile, but his excitement is too much to contain. “Yes!” he says as he punches the air. “You don’t know how much you’re saving my ass, really I-”

He’s cut off when his phone starts to vibrate. Pulling it out of his pocket, he looks back to you and Steve. “Listen, I gotta run,” he says as he starts backing up towards the front door. “I’ll pick you up at your place at 5:30, okay?”

Before you can respond, Bucky is planting a chaste kiss to the side of your head and running out of the coffee shop. You sigh as you lean back and watch him through the shop’s windows.

“You know, if you could just keep it in his pants for more than a day, maybe he could find someone to commit it.”

Steve slides your drink over the counter towards you as his best friend disappears down the street towards campus. “Yea,” he says, turning his gaze on the back of your head. “But I think the girl he’s really interested in is too far out of reach for him.”

You turn and grab your coffee and shrug. “I better get going too. You have a job to do and I have a dress to go buy! Thanks, Stevie!”

You wave as you make your way towards the front door, and Steve just shakes his head. “They’re such idiots,” he says under his breath before turning his attention back to his work.

When 5:20 p.m. rolls around, you’re standing in front of the mirror in your room, twirling side to side so that you can examine your dark purple, crushed velvet dress. The skirt, as your roommate Natasha described it, is a nice flirty length, falling midthigh. Although not too revealing, the dress still revealed enough skin on top to be a little hazardous. With the neckline scooping to just above the valley of your breasts, and the back going down just as far, you felt

“Are you sure this is okay?” you ask as you examine your backside again.

Natasha, who is sprawled out on your bed, sighs and looks up from her chemistry textbook for the fifteenth time in as many minutes. “I told you, it’s perfect. You’re going to have every guy at that party begging on their knees for your attention.”

You make eye contact through the mirror but quickly avert your gaze. “Yeah, but what will Buc-”

“What will Bucky what?” Natasha interrupts you as she sits up fully. “It’s just Bucky. Since when does his opinion on what you do or wear matter?”

You bite your lip. She’s right, it is just Bucky. But that was the problem. You’re not sure when just Bucky started causing your stomach to do somersaults and your heart feel like it was going to explode in your chest.

It’s not like you hadn’t known Bucky for almost three years. It’s not like you had fallen for his devilishly handsome looks the moment he stepped foot into your freshman English class. Or his ridiculous charm when you accidentally ran into him in the dorm hallway one morning when you were running late for class. 

And it’s not like you’ve spent the last four years burying those feelings under every ounce of willpower you had. No, it’s just Bucky and his opinion doesn’t matter at all. 

Except it does.

A knock on your front door draws you from your thoughts and does nothing to calm the cage of butterflies that had been released in your tummy the second you’d agreed to go to this party.

Natasha jumps off the bed and out into the living room. “Coming!” she sing-songs as she makes her way to the front door. “What a gentleman, coming to meet the parents before he takes ya on a date.”

“Nat” you grumble as you grab your bag and phone from your dresser. With one final look in the mirror, you sigh and turn off the light. Here goes nothing.

As you emerge from the hall, Natasha has already ushered Bucky into the apartment. Your steps falter a little when you catch a glimpse of him. He’s wearing your favorite red Henley and dark jeans combo with his worn leather jacket thrown over the top.  

He catches your movement out of the corner of his eye and turns to look at you. A shy smile creeps across his face as he tunes whatever Natasha had been talking about with him out. She picks up on this, because she turns to look at you too.

“Oh goody!” she claps before pulling her phone from her back pocket. “Get together kids, I need to document this moment! It’s like you’re going to prom!”

“Nat,” you hiss as you make your way towards the door.

“Just one picture. We need to document the one and only time James Barnes has clean hair and looks like a right gentleman!”

One picture turns into five different staged photos, and before you know it Bucky is pulling at your arm to get you out the door. “I’m sorry Tasha, but we really have to go!”

“Be safe, kids! Use protection! I don’t any any grandbabies yet!!” Natasha calls after you, wheezing as she does so. You were going to kill her when you get home tonight.

You take a deep breath as Bucky pulls up in front of the massive fraternity house. The white colonial-style home, complete with columns and a beautiful front porch, was far too nice for a group of college-aged men to living, breaking and...doing god knows what.

“Nervous?” Bucky asks from the driver’s seat. He doesn’t dare rip his gaze from the line of cars in front of his.

“No,” you say far too quickly to be convincing. Why the hell were you so nervous?! “Are you?”

Bucky shrugs then and unbuckles his seatbelt. “First time seeing Dot since the breakup. It’s not my idea of a great party.” He turns to look at you then, a soft smile playing on his face. “But I’ve got a beautiful date to make me feel a little better.”

You roll your eyes and unbuckle your own belt. “Shut up,” you grumble as you shove the car door open. It’s like he knew exactly what to say to get under your skin and right to the butterflies.

Before you can even make it out of the car, Bucky is around to your side holding the door like the gentleman he isn’t. He sheepishly smiles when you give him a look and shrugs it off.

“Gotta make it look believable,” he says with a laugh.

As the two of you make your way to the front door, Bucky is stopped by a few of the guys. Fortunately, you know most of them since your group of friends spends a decent amount of time together, so no introductions are needed. A few of them do, however, side-eye you for a moment before patting Bucky on the back in a congratulatory manner. You try to brush it off as guys just being guys.

When you finally reach the far-too-grand front door, complete with an old-fashioned knocker, Bucky stops.

“Are you okay with me touching you?” he asks shyly.

“What?!”

“Not like...Y/N! I mean like, holding your hand, and dancing. You know, like boyfriend things.”

Please, you yell inside your head. Outwardly, you keep your calm.

“Get enough alcohol in me,” you say as you pat his scruffy cheek, “you can do whatever you’d like.”

If you’re going to make it believable, you might as well embrace the part, right?

Bucky practically chokes on his own tongue. “Right. Uh, shall we?” he says as he motions towards the door.

He guides you through the foyer and into the main room of the house where bodies were spilling out into the hall and into the smaller library and sitting rooms, hand firmly planted on your lower back. It seems like every other person you pass wants his attention, but he’s focused on getting the two of you into the heart of the party, probably to camouflage himself so Dot wouldn’t spot him.

“Hey. Bucky!” Christopher, who you know as the fraternity’s president, waves at Bucky from around a box of store-bought chicken. “I know you helped all day, but can you give me a hand with the rest of the food? It just got delivered.”

Bucky looks between you and Chris and sighs. “I’m really sorry,” he starts, shoulder dropping in defeat knowing he can’t possibly say no. He is one of the biggest and strongest of the brothers and was used to getting called upon to do the heavy lifting around the house.

“It’s fine,” you say waving him off. “I’m going to get a drink. Want your usual?”

He smiles at this and nods. “I’ll be back in five, promise!”

You watch him jog out the door Chris had just emerged from, and you turn to make your way to the kitchen. It was quieter, not as many bodies lingering around, so you decide you’ll camp out in there until Bucky comes back.

You’re just grabbing a beer for Bucky and wine cooler for yourself when a familiar voice calls your name.

“It is you!” Dot says when you turn around to see who was beckoning you. She hurries over and gives you a tight squeeze like it hadn’t been three months since she broke the heart of one of your best friends. Like she hadn’t destroyed the one person who’s happiness sometimes meant more to you than your own.

Taking one look at her, you suddenly feel very self-conscious. She’s an absolute vision in a deep evergreen dress that falls just above her knee. One thing you’d always loved about Dot was her effortless, vintage style. The dress screamed the 1940s and was something that would have made you look like you were in costume.

Her red hair was curled to perfection and framed her striking features perfectly. You were silly to think that Bucky would ever feel anything towards you when he had dated her for nearly four years. The encounter had you second-guessing why you’d even agreed to come to this party in the first place.

“How have you been? I miss seeing your smiling face every day!” Dot says cheerfully. In her typical energetic way, she doesn’t give you time to respond. “You look beautiful by the way! That color really suits you!”

“Not as beautiful as you,” a man you don’t recognize says as he walks up and wraps his arms around Dot’s middle.

“Oh hush,” she giggles as she leans into the kiss he plants on the side of her head. You shift your weight from side-to-side, uncomfortable with the exchange in front of you. It must catch Dot’s attention because she snaps out of the love bubble she had been in and looks back to you.

“Oh! I’m so rude! Y/N, this is Danny. Danny, Y/N.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Danny says as he extends one hand away from Dot to shake yours. You give a tight smile and return the gesture.

“Y/N and I ran in the same group for a while at the beginning of college. But, you know, life got in the way. It’s so nice to see you, though! I don’t think I ever saw you at one of these parties back when...” she just shrugs and decides not to finish the thought.

“Things change, I guess,” you awkwardly laugh.

Before things can get any more awkward, Bucky comes in through the door calling your name. He doesn’t see Dot and Danny at first, and so bounds over to you in two quick strides before wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

“I guess they do,” Dot says as she watches Bucky pull you closer into his side.

You want to preen at the obvious change in tone, an almost bitterness lacing her words now, but you know it’s just for show and she has nothing to actually be bitter about. This is the exact reason Bucky had even wanted you to come with him, and at least for his sake, it was working. Without thinking, you wrap an arm around his solid, broad middle.

“Dot!” Bucky exclaims in his smooth, confident tone you’d come to love. Bucky was nothing if not confident with the ladies, which is why he had a new one almost every week since the duo had broken up. He was also a great actor. You know for a fact that this confidence was just a front. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“Surprise,” she says, pulling Danny’s arms a little tighter around her middle. Her gaze lingers on Bucky’s fingers as they start absentmindedly tracing shapes along your velvet-sleeved arm. “I didn’t know you two were...together.”

You can feel the rumble in his chest as he laughs. “Surprise!”

The tension in the room is so thick you could cut it with a dull knife. You look up at Danny who is glancing back and forth between Bucky and Dot, obviously not knowing what was going on. Unable to stand the awkward tension, you pat Bucky’s side gently to gain his attention.

“I’m, uh, gonna run to the restroom. Come find me when you’re done in here?”

Bucky glances at you and swallows hard. His eyes are pleading you to stay, but there’s nothing you can do to remedy the situation. Just like you’d told him on the way over, if he ever really wanted to let this go, he was going to have to talk to her sooner or later.

You take pity on him though and lean up to kiss his cheek. “I’ll be gone for just a few,” you whisper before releasing your grip on him and making towards the hallway.

When you emerge from the bathroom three minutes later, you can hear yelling over the music. As you make your way back towards the kitchen, you come to find that it was Bucky and Dot who was the source of the commotion.

Everyone has cleared out of the kitchen now, including Danny, so you choose to stay away. Deciding you’d rather not hang awkwardly around waiting for Bucky, and not feeling like striking up a conversation with anyone you know, you head out to the front porch. Luckily the weather has been mild this year, so you won’t freeze while you wait for Bucky to come to find you.

Ten minutes went by, then twenty, and you start getting a little antsy. There’s no way he was still in there talking with Dottie.

Despite the faux-date, you had been hoping to spend some time with Bucky. You thought that since he’d asked, begged you to come with that he would at least keep you on his arm while he made his rounds. But it was starting to look like that was not going to happen.

You check the time again and sigh, deciding that you’ll just call Natasha or even Clint to come to pick you up. You didn’t feel like wandering around the party by yourself, and you didn’t want to ask Bucky to leave in the middle just to take you home.

You shoot a quick text to Bucky to let him know what was going on, told him you weren’t feeling well and Natasha was coming to pick you up. It wasn’t completely a lie, just not the whole truth either. You call Nat and luckily she’s in the middle of a study break and agrees to come to get you in fifteen.

You wait for a text from Bucky, hoping it would be him telling you not to go, but it never comes. So when Natasha pulls up, you decide to leave the party, and hopefully your feelings for Bucky behind.

You’re awoken at 3:30 a.m. by your phone buzzing. You pointedly ignore it and turn over and try to go back to sleep. As soon as the call ends, another comes in immediately. You huff and roll back over, angrily yanking the phone from its place on your nightstand. Bucky Boy the caller id reads.

Before your tired brain can process what’s going on, the call ends and another immediately starts back up. “Hello?” you rasp into the phone, throat dry with disuse.

“Y/N!” Bucky slurs into the phone, obviously drunk. It startles you for a moment before you remember that he doesn’t need to drive anywhere since he lives at the frat house. “You left me at the party.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh, definitely not wanting to have this discussion with drunk Bucky, let alone sober Bucky. “I wasn’t feeling well so I came home.”

“But you looked so pretty and I didn’t even getta tell ya. I didn’t even getta dance with you!” You can hear him pouting through the phone and you can’t help but give a silent laugh.

“Buck, you’re drunk. Go to sleep.”

“No!” he shouts defiantly like a child. “Ya gotta listen to me, Y/N. Dottie...Dot, she tried to tell me that I didn’t really like you, that she could see through our facade. At first I got real mad, because that’s not what wasna sposed to happen. She was supposed to see us together, because it’s us, and get real jealous.

“But ya know what, Y/N, she was always jealous of you. ‘Cause you’re smart and caring, and funny and nice, and,” he stops to hiccup then. “And you’re jus so beautiful, ya know? She should be jealous of you because she’s not you and you’re you, ya know? And I know you’re gonna try and tell me I’m jus saying this ‘cause I’m drunk, but I’m not!”

Your head starts to spin a little as he continues talking. Every other word is slurred worse than before, which helps remind you of the fact that, yes, he is just saying this because he’s drunk. He’s drunk and upset about Dot so he’s projecting. It’s the only thing that makes sense.

“Ya know, I still remember that first day in English. I stumbled in half asleep and late and the seat next to you was the first one I saw. I hated it because it was in the front - I mean come on Y/N, who sits in the front of the classroom! - and vowed to never sit there again, but I did. I did every day for the rest of the semester and I’m so glad I did.

“You know why Dot doesn’t like you? Because I think she figured it all out before me. She broke up with me because she knew she wasn’t ever gonna live up to you. And I hate myself for only being able to tell you this while I’m drunk, but please, in the morning, make me say it again, okay? Because I like you and I think the feeling is mutual, but I’ve always been too scared to say something.

“And then stupid Dot came along and she was safe. I couldn’t ruin a friendship if there wasn’t one to begin with, so I settled. But I don’t wanna settle anymore, okay? So make me tell ya all of this again in the morning ‘cause I need to. You need to know.”

Tears start to drop down onto your cheeks, leaving salty trails as they do so. You’re not sure what to say, so you sit there and let him ramble on. You’d dreamt about this moment countless times before, Bucky confessing his feelings to you, but you never thought it would happen like this. Not when you’re half-awake with terrible bedhead and with Bucky three sheets to the wind. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, but you’ll take it.

Bucky’s quiet a little too long then, and you can hear his breathing over the phone as slowed a little. “Bucky?” you ask quietly into the speaker, but you’re met with only his soft breaths. He must have fallen asleep. Good. A sniffle a little before letting out a deep breath. “Good night, Buck. I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

In the morning. Hopefully, in the morning everything he had just confessed to you would still stand true. That you would be able to confess your own feelings and something good could finally come from it.

You hang up and shoot him a quick text before you can second guess it. Returning your phone to its charger on the nightstand, you roll over and feel the butterflies come back. In the morning.

You: Hey Buck. Drunk you had some interesting things to say tonight. He wanted me to make sober you retell me everything in the morning, so I’m holding you to it. How about breakfast? We can make it a date. A real one this time. 

[cosmichoneyedblossoms]

Borderline

—Omina Vincit Amor—

Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader x Sehun

Genre: Syndicate!au | Angst

Word Count: 3,331

Warnings: Swearing, murder, and mentions of destroyed bodily anatomy and fluids (blood, brain matter)

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

“Welcome to Shanghai.”

He could tell you were tired and he knew that the four am flight didn’t help with your exhaustion either, but there you were, dragging your feet in front of him, fighting through your exhaustion, “Did we have to take the earliest flight out of Seoul?” You sighed leaning against a pillar near the baggage claim belt.

“The earlier we got here, the earlier we could do all the things you want to do.” Sehun watched as Chanyeol wrapped his arms around you, his skin crawled watching the way you leaned into his touch, is it okay for him to hate him?

“What should we do first?” Pulling out your phone, you typed ‘what to do in Shanghai’ into the search engine and it pulled up a multitude of things, “There’s museums, gardens, the zoo, tons of places to shop and eat, all the parks—”

“Whatever you want to do, we can do.” Chanyeol was barely paying attention as he too was lost in his phone. Sehun caught the fall of your smile as you noticed Chanyeol’s distant answer.

“Why don’t we go to the zoo today?” He spoke up and you turned your gaze onto him, your smile appearing again.

“You want to?” Your question seemed silly to him since he’d dance like a fool in front of the busy Shanghai airport if you asked him to.

“Absolutely, it’s supposed to be warm today. We can go after we make it to the house and unpack.” Watching your face light up with excitement made his heart flutter in his rib cage, the fact that he made you smile after Chanyeol dismissed you gave him such a surge of energy.

“Ah! Our bags!” You broke out of Chanyeol’s loose hold on you to grab your bright red suitcase and Sehun grabbed his and Chanyeol’s matching black suitcases, “Do we have a taxi?”

“Our ride is sitting out front. How about you lead the way, Y/N?” Chanyeol slipped his phone into his pocket while he took the space next to Sehun; you nodded, tugging up the handle on your suitcase, beginning to lead the way. Sehun started to follow you when Chanyeol tugged on his shirt, wanting him to wait a moment.

“What is it?” He asked and Chanyeol pulled out his phone once more, he opened it to a screen with blue and grey messages and his thumb pointed to a certain one.

“The boss wants us to meet him tonight for our new job.” Sehun glanced your way before looking back at Chanyeol.

“But we just got here… and Y/N—”

“She’ll understand that it’s for work. She’s a big girl, she can handle herself.”

So he’s okay leaving her alone in a city she’s never been to?

Sehun’s thoughts thrashed around in his brain, the blood in his veins started to boil the longer he let his mind wander, but then your voice reached him, “Are you guys coming or not?” He turned his eyes back to you, the softness of your gaze helped to assuage his anger, reminding him that at the end of the day all that matters your safety.

“Just this last time…” Sehun whispered to himself as he stood in front of full-size mirror pushing down the anxious tingles that filled him. Fixing his shirt, his hand brushed against something hard in the back of his pants, your voice ran loudly in his mind.

“What if they had firearms? You could be dealing with more than a broken nose and a fucked-up lip.”

He was making sure that if anything happened, he came back to you, safe. Turning on his heels, he grabbed his leather jacket and made his way out of his bedroom to the stairs that lead down to the main area. The quiet whisper of the tv filled the space around him as he approached the couch, he leaned over it, catching the sight of your peacefully sleeping face—the rise and fall of your chest, the slight pout of your lips, the wrinkling of your nose when you shifted in your slumber, your mascara coated lashes dusting your skin, your slightly furrowed brows—were you having a nightmare? Was Chanyeol the hero in your dreams?

“You ready?” Chanyeol hummed as he reached the bottom of the stairs, Sehun pulled his gaze away from you to look at Chanyeol who looked completely unphased that he was leaving you here alone in the middle of the night.

“Are you sure you just want to leave her here?” He took another glance at you, his heart sunk into the pit of his stomach the longer he stared at you, guilt ran deep in his veins.

“Don’t worry, she’ll be out all night. She was wearing herself thin when we were running around town today.” He walked around to the couch, crouching down to come face to face with you, “She won’t even know we’re gone.” Pressing his lips to your forehead, your brows relaxed with a slight hum, “You’ll be fine, won’t you, baby?” Sehun tore his eyes away from you, watching Chanyeol be affectionate with you annoyed him, he was short and dismissive with you all day and now you were ‘baby’ and he was showering you with affection; if you were his, he would always show you how much your worth.

“Alright… let’s go. Don’t want to keep him waiting.” He couldn’t make it out of the house fast enough, he just wanted to come back to you even though you weren’t waiting for him.

Sehun and Chanyeol walked down the hall, the obsidian double doors at the end of the hall came closer with each step, with each step Sehun’s heart smashed against his rib cage. He’s been through this over a hundred times, but every time the boss called them in, his nerve to quit and walk out vanished into thin air.

Chanyeol reached for the gold handle and pulled the door open, Sehun’s eyes found three other bodies in the room as well as an older man, “My two favorite Mutts.” The low raspy voice sent chills through Sehun as he took his spot next to Chanyeol in the lineup of people, “Since everyone is here, let’s just get straight to the point, we have 12 companies that have still not paid their debt, so now we’re having to send in our reinforcements, that means you all.”

“12? That’s a larger number than usual…” Sehun looked down the line to see a guy with soft pink faded shaggy hair dressed in denim and leather; his face looked familiar like they’d run into each other before, but haven’t exactly met. The man next to him held a different air about him, short black hair, warm caramel skin, a heavy flat expression that would fit a war veteran; another familiar face, but one he wasn’t able to pinpoint. The last guy he knew, Kris, your older brother, he looked different than the last time that he saw him—thick grey dyed locks that rested messily around his fade, dark inky tattoos that peeked out of the neckline of his collared button-up—he seemed to be holding himself well, but seeing as the last time he saw him you three were in high school and Kris was leaving for China.

“Three in the northern part of the city, two in the south, four in the east, and three in the west. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo take the three west, Kris take the two south, which leaves Chanyeol and Sehun with the three in the north and four in the east. I expect all five of you to do your jobs swimmingly, with no snags or problems. I’ll send you the location of each one along with the amount of debt they are in.” The room fell silent as the older man stood from his seat behind his desk, “Understood?”

“Yes.” Sehun, as well as the others, hummed in agreement.

“Perfect. You’re all dismissed… everyone but Sehun.” Sehun’s heart dropped into the pit of his stomach upon hearing his name.

“Me…?” All the eyes in the room turned to him as he questioned him like it was baffling that he would choose him out of the group to speak to privately.

“Yes. Just you.” He motioned for the others to leave the room and Chanyeol clapped a hand to his shoulder.

“I’ll be waiting by the car.” Sehun nodded and waited until the door closed behind him to look back at the older man.

“What would you like to talk about, Sir?” He couldn’t help but be nervous in front of him, he controlled whether he was coming or going, or if he was leaving this room alive.

“How’s my daughter?”

“Y/N? She’s…” His thoughts of your sleeping face flooded his memory, “She’s okay, but… why ask me instead of Chanyeol? He’s her boyfriend, I’m just—”

“The guy who’s there for her when Chanyeol isn’t? I know he’s using her to just fill his time when he’s bored, but you…” He sat back down in his chair to pull open one of the desk drawers, “You actually care about my princess, so please keep her uninvolved in this mess.” He pulled out a thin black checkbook and quickly scratched a large number onto the paper before ripping it out and handing it to him, “Accept this as a token of my gratitude.”

“I couldn’t…”

“You’ve taken better care of her than have since she was a child. You deserve everything—”

“Sir really…” Sehun bowed while handing him back his check, “Money doesn’t change whether I take care of her or not, she’s special to me… so I don’t need extra money outside the payment for the completed jobs.” He kinked an eyebrow before taking the check from him, confusion clear in his expression, “I better get to the first job as get home before she wakes up. Thank you, Sir.” He bowed deeply before making his exit into the hall where Chanyeol was waiting for him.

“What’d he want to talk about?” He pushed his blond hair back, getting it out of his face as he popped up from the wall.

“Nothing really, he just wanted to talk about a previous transaction with a client he thought I knew.” He couldn’t let him know that your father favored him more than your actual boyfriend, but the giddy feeling that appeared made him more than happy—now he really wanted to go home just to see you.

The outskirts of the city were drastically different than the inner city, the brightly lit streets started to fade to darker roads with poorly lit alleys the further they got out of the city. After multiple minutes spent searching for the building, Sehun finally noticed the rough exterior of a modernized structure that held the name of the company they were looking for, “Acedex Hotel? Is this, right?” Chanyeol asked getting out of the car and Sehun hummed in response as he slammed the car door closed.

“No casualties tonight, I plan to just get this done as cleanly as possible.” Less blood on his hands the better, going home for you to clean him up again isn’t what he wanted.

“No promises.” Chanyeol shrugged and made his way to the front of the building, his shadow appeared in lights flooding from the front door as they approached the glass entryway. He strolled inside like he owned the place while Sehun lagged behind him, they were a team—Chanyeol was the one to negotiate terms and Sehun was the fighter even though Chanyeol takes most of the beating.

“Welcome to Acedex, how can—” The man sitting at the desk laid his eyes on them, the color in his face drained immediately, “He’s already sending his Mutts to drain me of money?”

“Now, now, don’t act like we’re heartless human beings, Mr. Shang.” Chanyeol leaned up against the desk, rapping his fingers over the glass countertop, “All we’re here to do is collect the money that you owe our boss. He gave you six months to get your business up and running, and guess what—it's been six months.”

“I…” Sehun watched Shang’s eyes dart between every exit he had available, his sixth sense beginning to kick in as he took off down the hall on the other side of the desk.

“Don’t lose him!” Chanyeol yelled as he jumped over the desk, chasing after him. Sehun exited the building, taking a chance to where he could be headed; he rounded the corners of the building to come around to the back of it, as he reached the back door, it swung open in front of him and the man ran into him.

“Gotcha,” Sehun growled watching Shang’s face contort with anger.

“Fuck you!” He hissed, quickly throwing a punch to Sehun’s face. He stepped back to avoid the blow of his punch to deliver a jab to his throat causing Shang to fall to his knees, coughing and struggling for air, in front of him.

“Should’ve thought about not trying to attack me.” Sehun grabbed the back of his head and smashed his face into his knee as he brought it up; he watched as his limp body crumbled down onto the pavement when a sigh filled the air around them.

“You really had to knock him out?” Chanyeol huffed leaning against the doorframe.

“Easier to tote him back to the boss.”

“Touché…”

“Please, please! I’ll give you the money, don’t make me see him!” Shang squirmed and yelled as Chanyeol and Sehun dragged him down the hall towards their boss’s office.

“You should’ve just given us the money upfront, but no, you just had to run didn’t you?” Chanyeol scoffed, rolling his eyes. Guards stood at the doors waiting for everyone’s arrival, “Are we the first ones back?”

“With an actual person, yes.” The guard opened the door and they entered the office once more, this time with their job in tow.

“Let me guess, he ran.” Your father asked while they released their hold on Shang, dropping him onto the floor.

“As soon as we mentioned money—”

“Hear me out, Sir… I-I can get you your money, but I don’t have it right now…” Shang continued to babble on after cutting Sehun off, with passing glances between Sehun and Chanyeol and your father, Sehun reached into the back of his pants, the cool metal of the gun welcomed his hold on the grip.

“I thought you said you had the money…” He hummed, pulling out the gun and pulling back the slide to load a bullet into the chamber. The chinking sound of the slide snapping back into place made Shang jump but made a smile appear on Sehun’s face.

“I will!”

“That’s not what you said before.” He pressed the muzzle up to the side of his head, “We need the payment today, if we don’t receive it, your brains will be splattered across the floor.”

“Give me a week, Sir, please!” Hearing Shang beg made your father chuckle.

“You think you deserve another week?” He leaned back in his chair, letting the thought roll around before sighing, “Sehun. Go ahead and—”

“I’ll give it to you right now! Please!” Shang screamed. Silence fell around the room as they watched Shang crawl up to the desk, “I’ll pay you right now, just please spare me…” Sehun followed Shang to the desk, keeping the muzzle flush to his head.

“Shang… I don’t think that we can keep you around—” Before your father could finish his sentence Sehun pulled the trigger, the ringing gunshot echoed through the room along with the splatter of blood and brain matter hitting the floor, “Eager to end him weren’t you, Sehun?”

“I’ve wanted to put a bullet in his head since we met him.” He wasn’t exactly lying, it annoyed him that he had to track him down anyway and the fact he tried to escape only annoyed him more, but the rush of pulling the trigger was more exciting than letting the man walk away.

“Chanyeol, get Kwang to come clean up this mess.”

“Yes, Sir.” Chanyeol left the room and your father pulled open his desk drawer and pulled out a bulging envelope.

“Your payment.” His voice was short as if he was disappointed that Sehun took Shang’s life, but that’s who he was in the heat of the moment.

“Thank you, Sir.” He grabbed the envelope and bowed, taking his departure from the room that was tainted with the heavy scent of iron. Walking down the hall, Chanyeol met him as Kwang walked past them, a small group of men followed in suit carrying a black bag, one big enough to fit a body.

“Is that our pay?” Chanyeol’s upbeat voice frustrated Sehun, how could he act so calm when he just watch him take the life of an innocent man?

“Yeah…” He handed him the envelope and he ripped into the package and began leafing through the money in his hands with nothing but a smile on his face.

“Job well done tonight.” Sehun grunted in response, his eyes caught the extent of his hand and he took the large sum of money from his grasp, “I thought you said no casualties though…”

“You think I wanted to kill that man?” He hissed while he shoved his cut into his pocket.

“No, but you also didn’t hesitate.” He was right, the adrenaline racing through his veins let him know that it wasn’t a dream or a figment of his imagination, he actually killed another person without hesitation.

“I’m just ready to go home…” He pulled the car keys from his pocket to unlock the door when Chanyeol snatched the keys from hand.

“C’mon man, our first successful job in China? Let’s celebrate!” He looked Chanyeol up and down, his clothes free of Shang’s claret while his clothes were speckled with it.

“You can, but I’m going home.” He grabbed the keys from Chanyeol and yanked the car door open.

“What about me?”

“Take a cab.” He fell into the driver's seat and closed the door, his guilt already began to settle into him; he could feel his emotions start to numb over as he started the car, he needed to get home—needed to get to you.

The one thing that separated him from his fears and his release was just past the mahogany door, just one key turn away, just one step past the threshold and you were there. He slid the key into the lock and turned it, the deadbolt clunked as it retreated, he slipped into the house, the darkness of the house worried him. He made a beeline to the living area to see the flickering light from the TV dancing across the floor as he approached the couch, but you weren’t on the couch where they left you, “Y/N?” He whispered, but you didn’t respond; he bolted up the stairs and checked in your room.

You weren’t there.

Checked his room.

You weren’t there either.

His heart thrashed around in his chest as he sped down the stairs and searched the entire main floor, where did you go? Did you finally get tired of them and leave? Did someone kidnap you?

He was about to call the cops when something caught his eye on the patio. You stood facing the artificial stars, a blanket hugged your body, but he could tell that it was you and nobody else. He pulled open the sliding door for you to turn around, revealing your tired expression, “Sehun…?” Your voice was enough to have him running to you; he wrapped his arms around your body and held you close to him, “Sehun? What’s wrong?”

For a moment he forgot…

Sehun pulled away from you to caress your cheeks, your confused gaze melted the numbness that had instilled itself into him. He leaned into you, forgetting that you weren’t his.

[smkkbert]

Mothers know best

Summary: Since they have been kids, they have been best friends. Since they have been friends, their mothers wanted them to be together. After coming back from the east coast, Felicity takes over a position at Queen Consolidated, the company her best friend will soon take over from his father. Their mothers still push for them to be together, and they seem closer to that goal than ever because wedding bells are ringing. The only problem is that they both plan to get married to someone else.

Rating: Explicit

Previous chapters: 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11

Chapter 12 of 22: Won

= The reluctance of a person’s part to let go of an illusion (Korean)

Mondays were always hard, but this one was particularly hard on Oliver.

With a deep sigh, Oliver turned around to the sink and poured away his coffee. He had barely taken a sip from it, unable to take in anything. His stomach was protesting at the prospect of any food or drink right now like it had been protesting at the prospect at taking in anything for the last couple of days already.

Since Saturday morning, he hadn’t been able to eat anything. He hadn’t been able to sleep. He hadn’t been able to be productive. Even going out for a run hadn’t helped as he had barely been able to run before he had had to stop. His running had been uneven since he hadn’t been able to focus on keeping his pace. Within a couple of minutes, he had felt out of breath and he had had to stop.

Less than forty-eight hours had passed since he had left Felicity’s new home after a night of passionate sex, followed by a morning of a wonderful redo. Ever since it had happened, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. Even though he had tried to ban those memories from his brain, they had snuck their way back into his thoughts.

Grabbing the edges of the countertop tightly, Oliver squeezed his eyes shut. Shaking his head slowly, he let his chin fall onto his chest. A long breath of defeat escaped him as his fingers tightened around the wooden top of the kitchen counter.

He had hoped that keeping his eyes squeezed shut would help him to keep his thoughts focused. He wanted to focus on the black he saw in front of his closed eyes. He wanted to focus on nothing at all. All squeezing his eyes shut did was take him back to that night that had probably changed everything he had thought he had known in life.

Since Felicity had stepped into his life, suddenly living with him and his parents in the mansion and stealing his father’s attention and playing with all of his toys, she had been his best friend. They hadn’t exactly grown up like siblings, but it was very close to that and Oliver had always considered Felicity to be as close to him as a sister. It wasn’t blood that made them family though. It was a choice their souls had made upon meeting, the choice to be best friends for a lifetime.

Best friends were what they had always been. Best friends were what they were supposed to be. Best friends were what they would always be supposed to be.

And best friends shouldn’t have sex with each other.

Oliver released another deep sigh. Resting his elbows on the kitchen counter, he hid his face in his hands and thought back to that night and that morning.

Oliver knew that what they had been wrong had been a thousand times of wrong. It should have never happened because it had probably just destroyed everything that he and Felicity had built over the last twenty years. And for what?

Sleeping with her, everything inside of him at screamed at him that it was wrong to do this. At least for a while it had. It hadn’t taken long for his thoughts to be drowned by the sensations of being so close to Felicity and touching her in all the new ways.

It hadn’t felt exactly right because there had always been a little voice in the back of his mind, reminding him that this couldn’t be right. He hadn’t completely understood it, but it had kept him from feeling too comfortable , but it had never felt wrong either.

Well, it hadn’t felt wrong until the moment McKenna had called.

A wave of nausea hit Oliver with a force that didn’t really surprised him, not after these last hours. His stomach cramped badly and he groaned in response to the feeling.

“Everything alright?”

Oliver almost flinched at the sound of McKenna’s voice. He turned around quickly, finding her walking down the stairs towards him. She was wearing one of her sexy negligees. The hem of the steel blue silk played around the mid of her thigh. The neckline was deep enough to usually get his imagination spinning.

Today, Oliver doubted that anything could get his imagination spinning. His head was spinning, but it was a completely different kind of spinning. It only made his head ache.

It took a lot of Oliver to take in a deep breath and straightened back up. The movement made his muscles tense and he was sure that it caused the smile that he tried to shoot McKenna to look terribly stiff. He hadn’t been able to be anything but tense and stiff since her call had ripped him from the illusion of whatever he had thought he had had with Felicity. At least for that one brief moment.

“Hey,” he said, his voice breathy from emotion. “Why are you awake?”

McKenna had come home from her shift two hours ago. He had been lying awake, unable to sleep like he had been unable to sleep the night before already. His thoughts had been spinning, and he had just stared at the ceiling. As soon as he had heard McKenna, he had closed his eyes and pretended to be fast asleep though. He had waited until her breathing had evened out next to him, telling him that she had been asleep before he had escaped their bed to get ready for work.

He had hoped that he wouldn’t have to talk to McKenna again before heading out for work where he would have to see Felicity and deal with the consequences of their mistake. He had that tiny hope that maybe he and Felicity came to some kind of understanding, agreeing that all of this had been a mistake that they could just laugh about once the words were out in the air. Maybe if that happened, he could finally look McKenna in the eyes again.

“I just… woke up I guess,” McKenna said, frowning slightly. She shook her head with a low chuckle soon though. “I figured since we won’t see each other as long as I am working the night shift, I could interrupt my sleep for five minutes to get a kiss.”

She stopped only a couple of feet away from him, cocking her head and puckering her lips.

Usually, Oliver would chuckle at that. He would frame her face with his hands, make a joke about never wanting to make a cop angry and kiss her. None of that felt like the right thing to do right now though. He felt too guilty.

McKenna was looking at him intently, waiting for him to lean in and kiss her. As much as Oliver knew it was wrong to pretend like nothing had happened, he couldn’t have any conversation about how weird he had been acting the last few days. At least he couldn’t have this kind of conversation right now.

Clearing his throat, Oliver took a step forward. He rested a gentle hand on McKenna’s hip and leaned in for a kiss. He meant it to be a peck, a sweet little kiss to her lips. The moment their lips touched, McKenna framed his face with her hands and held him right there though.

Everything inside Oliver was screaming that this was wrong. He felt so guilty that he couldn’t bare McKenna’s touch never mind her kiss. He didn’t feel worthy of it because he hadn’t done anything to deserve this kiss in a long time.

When McKenna pulled back, she smiled at him softly. Oliver tried to smile back at her, but he didn’t think that it reached his eyes. If the way McKenna’s facial expression changed was any kind of indication, she could look right through it though. He lowered his eyes quickly.

These past days, he had tried to hide his confusion and his guilt from McKenna. As long as he hadn’t talked to Felicity, he hadn’t been able to talk to McKenna about what had happened. He knew that he had to tell her eventually. It wouldn’t be fair to leave her in the dark about what had happened as it would take away her change of deciding how to deal with his mistake.

So far, Oliver just hadn’t found the right time to tell her though. He hadn’t been ready to yet as he hadn’t been able to completely fathom what had happened yet.

There was a small part in Oliver that was shaking its head at his thoughts, already knowing that there was a not too small chance that maybe he would never tell McKenna about that night at all.

When Oliver finally met McKenna’s eyes again, she almost expected her to ask what was going on with him. He knew he wouldn’t be allow to look her in the eyes and lie to her, saying everything was okay. Maybe he wasn’t ready to say the truth just yet, but he knew he couldn’t lie about it either.

He could lie by omission. That was it.

“Are you going to shave before our wedding?”

Oliver had to bite back a breath of relief that threatened to escape him. McKenna wasn’t suspecting what was going on with him. She was caught up in her pre-marital bliss like Oliver should be too.

With a low groan, Oliver scrunched up his nose. Losing his stubble was not really something he considered. He liked it like this, especially because he looked incredibly young and weird without. McKenna might not agree with that, but he knew that Felicity-

“I have to head out to work now,” Oliver said quickly and cleared his throat. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” McKenna said with a soft smile. She pecked his lips once more and took a step back. “Are you home early enough for us to have dinner together? I could cook a little something or-“

“I don’t think I will make it in time.” Oliver massaged the back of his neck with one hand. “I have some late appointments and I really need to meet John for some training. I am going crazy if I don’t get a chance to clear my head soon.”

McKenna cocked her head. “Is everything alright?”

No. No, nothing was alright.

“Sure.” Oliver smiled briefly and pecked McKenna’s lips once more. “Just a lot of work to do. We will talk as soon as you are changing back into some other shift and my work schedule lightens a little.”

McKenna hesitated briefly, before she smiled. “Alright.”

“Alright.” Oliver nodded his head. “See you.”

With that, he turned around. He grabbed his briefcase from where he had left it next to the door and slipped out of the loft before either of them could say anything more.

As the door fell shut behind him, a long breath he hadn’t known he had been holding escaped Oliver. With closed eyes, he leaned back against the door for a moment to recover from this conversation.

He had no idea how he was supposed to live with this guilt. He felt terrible looking McKenna in the eyes and pretending everything was alright, but he didn’t feel courageous enough to tell her the truth about what had happened either. Just thinking about Felicity made him incredibly nervous, thinking he could get caught any second.

Oliver sucked in a deep breath and straightened up. He had to focus on getting through this day and maybe, just maybe he was lucky enough to find a solution. He kind of doubted it though.

On the way down into the underground parking, Oliver pushed the thought of Felicity and McKenna and everything that had and probably would happen aside. He had an important day ahead of himself, so he had to focus on work. If he just focused on it enough, maybe it would help him to forget about the crappy situation he had gotten himself into at least for a short time.

His hope didn’t last long though. While he was heading towards Queen Consolidated in his car, trying to recall his schedule and the mental to-do list he had made for himself, pieces of memory flashed through his mind. As much as he tried to push them out and just focus more on what he had to do at work, it didn’t help at all. He was powerless when it came to those memories.

Eventually, Oliver decided to just allow himself to think back to that day. It wasn’t like he had any choice anyway.

As much as he had tried to wrap his head around what had happened, Oliver still didn’t entirely get it. He remembered walking Felicity home and feeling as comfortable around her as he always had. He remembered that they had teased each other after what she had said about Carter’s suspicion that there was something more going on between them.

Suddenly, the situation had shifted. He had been looking at Felicity and there had been a heavy moment like there never had been between them before. Oliver still hadn’t found the right words to describe what exactly had been going on inside of him. All he knew was that he had been drawn towards her and her lips soon. Then their lips had brushed together and as he had kissed her.

Kissing her, he had immediately known that he wanted more.

Oliver’s fingers tightened around the steering wheel when he remembered the feeling of passion running through his body. Every cell in his body had been filled with that feeling, driving him to deepen the kiss, to touch her in ways he had never had and to move in unison with her in all the ways they never had.

There had been a thousand different feelings taking hold of Oliver. He couldn’t name a single one of them. He couldn’t even understand a single one of them. They had just been a confusing mess inside of his chest.

Looking back, Oliver didn’t know what to think of that night. The sex had been awesome, more than awesome. Oliver had no words to say how great sex with her had been. All he could say was that it had been great enough for him to want her again as soon as he had woken up the next day.

Still, it hadn’t been right. As right as it might have felt in that moment, it hadn’t been right. How could it have been right given the promise he had made to McKenna weeks ago and given all the plans they had made together these last weeks?

Directing the car into the parking lot of the underground parking of Queen Consolidated, Oliver turned off the engine. Resting his head back against the headrest of the seat, he closed his eyes and rubbed his hands over his face.

He felt incredibly tired and unfocused. He had no idea how he was supposed to get through the day. He didn’t know if he wanted to run into Felicity or avoid her either. He didn’t know anything right now.

Oliver knew he wouldn’t get any better, but he couldn’t go back either. Going back would only make McKenna know that there was something going on. He couldn’t have that.

Taking in the umpteenth deep breath today, Oliver got out of the car and headed towards the stairs. He greeted some of his employees briefly, barely able to manage a smile. Reaching the ground floor, he considered taking the rest of the stairs to the executive floor at the top of the building. He didn’t want to run into certain people yet and maybe the climb up there would help to get rid of some of the tension.

He doubted that the people he would have to meet today would be happy if they had to sit through a meeting, smelling his sweaty clothes. Straightening his shoulders, he opened the door to the large foyer.

He could see at least ten people he didn’t want to talk to right now. His gaze shifted to the executive elevators. The doors were just about to close, so he sprinted over towards them and pushed in through the gap by the last second.

“Sorry, I-“

The moment his eyes met Felicity’s, he felt his breath getting caught in his throat. His heart skipped a beat before it started racing in his chest and pounding against his ribs. The sound seemed to fill the small cage of the elevator.

He could see the same kind of shock he was feeling being mirrored in her eyes. Felicity sucked in a deep breath, every muscle in her body tensing visibly. She was just as prepared to talk to him as he was prepared to talk with her which was not at all.

“I- I forgot-“

Oliver gestured back behind his shoulder for a moment, and not even he himself was sure what it was supposed to mean. When he turned around to get away out of here and away from Felicity as quickly as possible, the doors closed right in front of him. He pushed the button to make the door open several times. It didn’t work though. He was locked into the small cage with Felicity.

For a long moment Oliver stared at the digital display over the doors. The numbers were increasing terribly slowly while the elevator was taking them upstairs in what felt like slow motion. Looking at where Felicity was still standing frozen into place from the corner of her eyes, Oliver swallowed down hard.

Quickly, looked back at the display. The numbers had always arrived at 28 which just couldn’t go fast enough. Oliver already knew that the moment the doors would open, he would mumble some apology and walk away as quickly as possible. He would need at least an hour to recover from this encounter.

The digital numbers had just changed to 25 when the elevator came to an abrupt stop. A shrill sound rang through the small cage. As if the sound alone wasn’t bad enough to endure, Oliver felt his stomach twist and turn painfully at the meaning of it.

“The elevator got stuck,” Felicity stated the obvious, her voice sounding nervous.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Oliver leaned over to the panel and pushed the emergency button. He shot a prayer to heaven that the control room was staffed and someone was taking care of this quickly.

“Good morning, Mr. Queen. Good morning, Ms. Smoak,” the friendly voice of their facility manager echoed through the small cage of the elevator. “I am sorry for the inconvenience. I am sure this won’t take long. It never does. We are already working on getting the elevator to work again, and I called a mechanic to finally find a longtime solution for this.”

It wasn’t what Oliver had hoped for, but he guessed it was the best news there could be. They could as well be stuck here all day. It wouldn’t be the first time the executive elevator was playing its random game of locking people in here for hours.

“Thank you, Harrison,” Felicity said.

“Yeah, thank you,” Oliver repeated and nodded his head.

For several minutes, Oliver stayed where he was. Felicity, who hadn’t moved an inch since he had stepped into the cage with her, was standing so close to him that he could almost feel her breath against the back of her neck. It made his heckles rise and his fingers rubbing together in his usual nervous tick.

Watching Felicity from the corner of his eyes to make sure he wouldn’t accidentally touch her, Oliver started moving back. He made a weird movement that almost caused him to twist his muscles. He just tried to move around Felicity as far as possible. He didn’t want to make the situation any more awkward than it was already.

When his back bumped against the cold wall of the cage, Oliver stopped moving. He took in a deep breath, trying to breathe as quietly as possible. He felt like even a little sound that was too loud could make this situation even more awkward. Hell, everything could make this situation more awkward although it already felt like it should have reached the peak of what should be possible.

The silence between them continued, growing heavier with any second.

Oliver had lost all sense for time. He didn’t know if they had been sitting there for hours or if only some seconds had passed since the elevator had gotten stuck. Either way, Oliver felt like he couldn’t endure the silence any longer. Doing nothing would make this only more awkward, just like doing the wrong this would be. Actually, Oliver doubted that there was a right thing to do in this situation.

“I-“ Oliver had to clear his voice, but it didn’t help to make it sound more like him through the hoarseness. “I didn’t tell McKenna yet.”

The moment the words had fallen from his lips, Oliver wanted to tear out his hair. Of all the things he could have possibly said, this had probably been the most stupid one to say. Oliver wished he could take them back and try a second time, but he knew there was no second chance here.

Silence spread between them once more. Oliver almost believed that Felicity hadn’t heard him because she showed absolutely no reaction. She continued standing there, silent and unmoving.

“Felicity?”

Felicity turned her head slightly, tuning it back just enough so she could probably see him from the corner of her eyes.

“I thought we agreed never to talk about this again. To anyone.”

Oliver sucked in a deep breath. Just like his voice before, Felicity’s didn’t sound like herself either. She sounded tired and breathy like he had barely ever heard it before. He was sure that he hadn’t been the only one who hadn’t found sleep these last nights.

“So, I am not going to tell her?”

Another stupid question, Oliver thought to himself. This shouldn’t have been the question he asked. There were at least a thousand other questions that were better to ask. He had never been good with words though. If there were two possibilities to reply, Oliver always chose the wrong one. It had always been like that and Oliver doubted that it would ever change.

Felicity turned her head forward again, so he couldn’t see her face. She had her face lowered to the floor slightly, and Oliver was sure that he could see her trembling slightly. Felicity was just as nervous as he was.

“What good would it do?” Felicity asked in an urgent whisper. “You love each other, and you want to get married in a couple of weeks. What happened that night was a mistake, and it was meaningless. We were just drunk.”

We were just drunk.

Her words echoed through his head as Oliver thought back to that night. He had had a fair share of drinks. The party Felicity had planned for him had been the kind of party where you always had a drink in your hand. At least Oliver had never missed a drink that evening. Maybe the reason for that was just that he had taken his time with the drink and hadn’t just knocked them back like a lot of the guests there had.

The flashes of memory about that night were replaced by his memories of what had happened that morning in her bed. He had woken up and he had just known that he had wanted and needed her. Nothing could have stopped him from kissing down the side of her neck that moment, exploring what her soft skin felt like against his lips once more. When Felicity had woken up, they had just given into whatever there had been between them.

“We haven’t been drunk that morning.”

Maybe for the first time Oliver said something wrong. He said those words and they sounded incredibly loud in the small cage of the elevator. Still, they didn’t make his stomach clench so badly that he felt like he needed to throw up.

“We haven’t,” Felicity agreed, her voice so quiet that Oliver didn’t dare to move because he was sure that any sound would be louder than her voice. “We were drunk when we first had-“

Felicity stopped. The words she couldn’t say were echoing through the small room between them nonetheless. They didn’t have to be said out loud to be heard between them.

“We were drunk that night,” Felicity continued eventually. “When we woke up that morning, our brains were just spinning from the amazing se- from the things we did the night before. We weren’t thinking clearly, so it happened again. It doesn’t matter that we weren’t drunk that morning because at the end it just comes back to the alcohol of the night before.”

In all the years Oliver had known Felicity, she had always been the rational one. She had tried to make sense even into the most irrational situations and she had always managed to do so. This was the first time that Oliver felt she was making a huge mistake in her rational explanations, the kind of mistake that made all the explanations illogical.

Oliver wondered whether he should tell Felicity about this or if he should just ignore it. He knew how much safety she gained through logic. She was afraid of things she couldn’t explain logically because they were out of anyone’s control. While Felicity believed in a God, Oliver knew she had trouble giving him the power of her life. He understood that feeling.

Still watching Felicity closely, Oliver knew he had to say the words. Right now, there was just the two of them here. This might be the last possibility he had to tell the truth because he knew, as soon as they were leaving this elevator, neither of them would ever talk about that night again. It was the deal here.

“I wasn’t that drunk.”

He said the words slowly. He knew he needed to say them, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted anyone to hear them. There was too much that could forever be destroyed just because he was saying the truth.

Although Felicity tried to hide her reaction, he knew that she had heard him. Her fingers were rubbing together the same way his were, the thumb moving back and forth over the tip of the other fingers. She had been the first to ever point this nervous tick of his out to him, and she had adapted it from him years ago.

“Neither was I.”

Felicity’s voice made Oliver’s breath hitch for reasons he couldn’t really understand. He stared at her, trying to find any reaction, but she kept her back turned towards him and her face hidden. All he could see was the back of her head with her neatly done ponytail that had become a symbol for her a long time ago.

When Felicity finally showed some reaction, it was a deep intake of breath. Oliver could hear how much she was struggling to take that breath in. Her breath was trembling and he almost believed that he could see her shoulder shaking slightly.

“It doesn’t change anything though.”

It was the first time that Felicity’s voice was firm today. There was no doubt that she believed in what she was saying.

Oliver nodded his head. He knew Felicity was right. She always was. This was no difference.

“You’re right,” he whispered eventually. “It doesn’t change anything.”

For the first time since the elevator had gotten stuck, Felicity turned her head back over her shoulder enough to lock eyes with him. Their eyes met, and Oliver could see the toll that night and this conversation had taken on Felicity. Her face was almost white. Her bottom lip was trembling slightly.

Felicity looked at Oliver’s face closely. For a second, he wondered if she was looking for any doubt in his face. While Oliver might not be entirely convinced of Felicity’s logic, he sucked in a deep breath and nodded his head slowly. What had happened that night had been bad enough as it was. He didn’t want to make it any worse for her by taking away the logic she was clawing onto the desperately, especially given how little he really knew what was going on here either.

Eventually, Felicity seemed to have find the lack of doubt she had been searching for in his face. She nodded her head slowly, nodding it again and again. She shot him the slightest of a smile before she turned back and away from him.

Time passed on. For the umpteenth time, silence spread between them. It was a heavy silence, one that would need at least a million words to fill it. Oliver and Felicity both stayed silent though, not knowing what they could possibly say to fill this silence and taking away from the heavyweight it was leaving them with.

The elevator stayed stuck. It didn’t move. Neither did Oliver or Felicity move. Everything stayed still like the world had stopped turning.

Oliver pressed his lips together and rolled them into his mouth. He didn’t know what else to say. All words that needed to be said had been said already or they couldn’t be said anymore now.

Continuing to look at Felicity’s ponytail, Oliver felt a thousand thoughts flashing through his mind. Not for the first time since that morning he had left Felicity’s home, Oliver wondered what would happen with their friendship now. They had found an agreement how to deal with this situation, but Oliver wasn’t sure if that was enough to save their friendship.

These last two days had been weird. He had been thinking about Felicity nonstop. Still, not seeing her and not talking to her had just been incredibly hard. He had gone through several weeks of not talking to Felicity and through years of not seeing her. The feeling that he couldn’t see her and couldn’t talk to her had been knew to him though.

As much as Oliver knew that it was a bad idea, he took a step forward. His chest wasn’t yet touching Felicity’s back. Still, it was close enough for him to feel the warmth of her skin. He times his breathing with hers and when they took in a breath at the same time, her shoulder blades brushed against the top of his chest slightly.

Looking over her shoulder, Oliver could see Felicity biting down on her bottom lip. She was struggling with the decision what to do now. There was a fight in her face that Oliver recognized all too well. He was feeling it burning in his chest too.

With some hesitation, Oliver moved his hand forward until his fingers brushed against Felicity’s. He could feel her moving out of reach and he was about to pull his hand back, regretting his decision to touch her, when Felicity moved her fingers back against his and laced them through his.

Oliver squeezed his eyes shut and took in a deep breath of relief. It felt incredibly good to touch her again. Her skin was as soft as he had remembered it, and it let his calloused thumb stroke over the back of her hand in small circles.

Still, neither of them said a word. They didn’t even look at each other. Their fingers just held onto each other while they were breathing in synch with each other.

Life wasn’t the same without his best friend at his side. These last two days had reminded him of all the time he and Felicity had spent at different sides of the US after she had left to go to college. Only this time it had been a thousand times worse because he hadn’t even been able to just call her and ask her what was going on in her life just to hear her voice.

When Felicity had come back to Starling, he had thought he’d get his best friend back forever. Now it felt like he might have lost her forever. And for what?

Oliver rested his forehead on Felicity’s shoulder and he could feel her taking in a deep breath in response. Her fingers grabbed his even more tightly like she wanted to comfort him though Oliver got the feeling that Felicity didn’t have much energy to comfort him either as she was fearing for their friendship too.

“I miss you.”

Oliver whispered the words, mumbled them against her shoulder.

While Felicity had traveled the country and tried to gain as much experience in IT as possible, he had missed her too. She had been so far away from her, and he had missed the possibility to just climb into bed with her and have quiet pillow talks all through the night. He had missed seeing her and talking to her on a daily basis. He had missed the chance to just wrap his arms around her and hug her.

Now Felicity was standing right here with him. He could do all the things he had missed those years of being apart from her. Yet, she felt more unreachable than ever and Oliver had no idea what to do about it.

“We need to stop this,” Felicity whispered, her voice trembling slightly. “This is crazy.”

Felicity was right. This was crazy. All those years their parents and other people had said there was something between them, he and Felicity had rolled their eyes and made fun about it. They had always been the closest best friends the earth had probably ever seen and they were destined to be exactly that.

Everything else was just crazy.

“We need to find our way back to being the good friends we were,” Felicity continued after a moment. “We are friends. We are best friends. That is what we are supposed to be.”

Oliver nodded his head against her shoulder slightly though he wasn’t sure if that was possible. As much as he knew it was right, he just felt like they might have crossed some borders that they couldn’t get back from now. He couldn’t allow that thought and its consequences to spread in his head though.

The silence between them continued for a long moment as they were both making a promise to themselves to find their way back to their friendship. It was the only way for them to still be in each other’s life. They had to remember what they were supposed to be and focus only on making it back to that.

When the elevator continued moving with a yank, Oliver and Felicity moved apart quickly. Oliver’s back hit the wall at back of the cage. The noise the bump created, made Felicity turn her head back over her shoulder and look at him. He smiled soothingly and though a small furrow built between Felicity’s eyebrows, she turned her head back with a small nod of her head.

Only two seconds later the elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. Felicity stepped outside quickly, bringing as much room between her and Oliver as possible. He followed her after a beat, stopping right outside the doors to keep his distance.

Felicity had her back still turned towards him, but she wasn’t moving away. She was taking deep even if still trembling breaths.

Oliver cleared his throat. “I’ll see you in the conference room in twenty minutes. Right?”

“No.” Felicity sucked in another deep breath before she turned around to him. Her eyes were reddened slightly like she had cried or like she had at least been very close to it. “I- uhm… I am just here to grab some stuff I forgot. I’m basically already on my way to Metropolis to meet Lena Luthor. Your father’s private jet is waiting for me.”

“Right.”

Oliver nodded his head slowly. He remembered that she had told him about meeting Lena Luthor. Felicity wanted to negotiate with her about joining a project they had discussed a couple of weeks ago. He just hadn’t had in mind that it would happen today already.

“When will you be back?”

“By the end of the week,” Felicity replied, shrugging her shoulders. “I guess.”

“Okay, so…” Oliver cleared his throat. “Have fun.”

“Thanks.” Felicity flashed him a brief smile. “I will call you when we get to an agreement.”

Oliver nodded. “Alright. Thank you.”

Now it was Felicity’s turn to nod. “Sure.”

The entire situation was awkward, even more awkward than the moment in the elevator. Just looking at each other and talking to each other but missing the usual familiarity that was between them, was just a hundred different kinds of awkward.

Not even the realization that awkward seemed to become the most frequent word he was using now elicited a smile from him today.

“So… I’ll see you later this week.”

Felicity nodded her head once more slowly. “Yeah. See you.”

They continued looking at each other for a long moment and for the first time Oliver felt like maybe he couldn’t actually read what was going on inside of her. Usually, he had always been able to read what she was thinking in her eyes. Today it was different though. He had no idea what was going on in her head.

Maybe it was because he wasn’t even completely sure what he was thinking and feeling right now.

Sucking her bottom lip between her front teeth, Felicity lowered her eyes and turned around. With her face still lowered, she walked away.

Oliver stood in the hallway for some time, watching her leave. Even when Felicity was out of sight, disappearing in her office, Oliver stayed where he was, staring at where Felicity had been seconds ago. He could almost feel the void she had left.

He repeated Felicity’s voice in his head again, once more realizing how right she was. They needed to find their way back to their friendship, or they might lose each other forever. It was their only chance, so maybe bringing some distance between them was the best that could happen to them. It might be exactly what they needed for their hearts and souls to anchor themselves and to remind themselves of the friendship they needed to maintain.

Nodding his head slowly, Oliver turned around and left to head to his own office. He should bury himself in work as long as Felicity was gone. If it helped her, maybe it would help him too.

* * *

Oliver wasn’t sure what he had thought how long it would take to forget about that night with Felicity. In the depth of his heart, he had probably known that it wasn’t done quickly. Still, his anger about the little process he had made through the week still drove him crazy.

With quick and strong movements, Oliver hit his bo-staff against John’s as hard as possible. His friend tumbled back a step, allowing Oliver to follow his movements. John just got the chance to lift his bo-staff over his head to fight off the next of Oliver’s hits, once harder than the next.

The loud noise of the bo-staffs hitting together filled the gym. In Oliver’s head, the sound was soon drowned out by the low moans that were falling from Felicity’s lips as he thrusted into her in slow, rhythmic movements.

When the memory of her face all screwed up in pleasure flashed in front of his eyes for a moment, Oliver lost his tact. It gave John just the time he needed to go from defense into offense. With a quick movement, he started going back at Oliver.

“Strength alone is not enough,” he told him quietly while he was hitting his bo-staff against Oliver’s firmly, making him back away. “You need to keep your head in the game.”

Oliver couldn’t count how many times he had heard this sentence lately. While he had been training like crazy these last couple of weeks, he had indeed used a lot of muscles and less of it head it seemed. His mind had just been preoccupied, unable to focus on what he was doing here though he knew it was half of the game.

Today was even worse than most other times lately. His head was still full of all those memories of his night with Felicity and the morning that had followed.

There last couple of days, Oliver had believed that he had made at least some process. He had been able to sleep again though he had woken up a lot of times, his clothes damp from sweat and his breathing heavy. During the day, he caught himself thinking about Felicity from time to time. He was able to push those thoughts away more easily than before though.

Oliver tried to push those thoughts away now, but he didn’t succeed. He could hear Felicity’s moans in his ear. He could still see her face screwed up in pleasure in front of his inner eyes. He could almost feel the softness of Felicity’s skin beneath his fingertips. taste the sweet taste of Felicity’s tongue on his lips. She was invading all of his senses, and there was nothing he could do about it.

The realization hit him so hard that he got distracted by it. John used the moment to hit his bo-staff against the back of Oliver’s knees and push at his shoulders, making Oliver stumble back and end up flat on the floor with a groan.

“You are unfocused.”

“Thank you,” Oliver said with raspy voice. “I don’t need to be told that.”

Staring at the ceiling of the gym, Oliver thought back to his night with Felicity and the moment they had shared in the executive elevator of Queen Consolidated earlier this week. They had been so close, close than they had ever been. At least for a while it had been like that even if it hadn’t lasted for long.

It seemed like they were drawn to each other. When they were alone, there was just them and it created the most intense intimacy Oliver had ever felt. That was even the case when it had been awkward between them.

Whenever reality had hit back in, it had all fallen apart though. The moment they had gotten aware of their surroundings and the situation they were in, they got reminded of how much of a mistake all of this had been. When they did, they always backed away from each other as much as possible.

Oliver didn’t know what was wrong with him that he couldn’t really get this thought to manifest itself in all of his body. It was in his head, but there were still some doubts that he couldn’t really name or put his finger on.

He and Felicity were just friends. They couldn’t be more than that.

“Everything alright with you?”

Only now Oliver noticed that John was standing right next to him, his hand reached out for him to help him up. Oliver had to blink several times to see his friend’s face clearly. He put his hand in John’s and let him pull back up onto his feet.

“Everything alright?” John repeated his question.

Nodding his head without saying a word, Oliver went over to the bench where his towel and his bottle of water were placed. He dried his face from the sweat that was dropping down from his forehead and took some gulps of his water.

Even without looking back over his shoulder, he knew John was watching him. He could feel it in the back of his neck. John’s gaze had always been incredibly intense, making it hard to miss it even when he wasn’t seeing it.

“You do know that I don’t believe that, right?”

Oliver bit down on his tongue. He knew that he could trust John. If he told him the truth, he would tell him what he was thinking without trying to spare Oliver. Telling him the truth of what he was thinking about this didn’t mean that he wouldn’t keep it for himself though. John was always honest to him, but he was keeping his secrets.

“I know,” Oliver whispered. “I just can’t talk about it.”

Oliver closed his bottle of water and sat down on the bench. He wrapped his towel around the back of his neck and lowered his face, staring at his feet.

A part of him believed that it would help him to talk about this. If he could just say the words out loud and talk to John about it, maybe it would help him. He and Felicity had decided never to tell anyone about this though, and he wouldn’t break that promise. Too much of their friendship had already been broken.

“Maybe you can’t talk about it yet,” John said, “but you have to talk about it eventually. Otherwise, it’s going to kill you.”

With that being said, John clapped his hand on Oliver’s shoulder, grabbed his bottle of water and left the gym, leaving Oliver alone with his misery. And, God, this misery refused to let go of him!

* * *

None of this should have happened. These last couple of days, it was all Felicity had been able to think. None of this should have happened because it had all been a terrible mistake.

Even when she had been in Metropolis with thousands of miles separating her from Oliver, that thought had echoed in her head the entire time. She had tried to focus on her conversation with Lena Luthor, knowing how important it was for the company, but it hadn’t helped. The thought hadn’t let itself be pushed away easily.

Being gone for a couple of days had certainly been a good thing. Distance from Oliver was helping her to get some distance from what had happened even if her own realization had been that it really had been a terrible mistake. She had just felt even more guilty.

She couldn’t remember who had made the first step. She didn’t know who had kissed the other first or who had deepened the kiss first. All she knew was that she shouldn’t have allowed this to happen. She should have been the one to keep a clear head and realize that this was wrong and they shouldn’t do this.

Felicity felt terrible for letting it happen. All the things that had gone well lately felt like they had turned to shit now. Oliver’s relationship with McKenna was footing on unsound ground it seemed, threatening to fall apart like a house of cards. Her partnership with Oliver at Queen Consolidated was tense and a lot less effective than it had been before that night. Most importantly though, her friendship with Oliver was struggling, and she wasn’t sure if she could ever get it back.

The thought made Felicity’s stomach clench painfully.

In all the years, Oliver had been the anchor in her life. He had been one of the few constants she had had, and he had been the only person she had felt she could really rely on. She didn’t know what to do now.

The last time she had seen Oliver in the elevator of the company and the last time she had spoken to him on the phone while she had been in Metropolis, everything had been awkward. They had barely gotten a word out when talking to each other, never mind looking the other in the eyes.

Felicity didn’t know how to fix that.

“Is everything alright?”

At the sound of her friend’s voice, Felicity flinched. Like so often these past days, she had completely forgotten where she was. As she found Tatsu approaching the couch, a small tray with two cups and a teapot in her hands, Felicity forced a smile onto her lips.

“Yes, sure,” she lied thought it made her stomach twist painfully. “Of course it is.”

Tatsu sat down on the couch next to her and placed the tray on the couch table. Her eyes stayed on Felicity’s face the entire time, watching her closely though.

Felicity avoided Tatsu’s eyes, afraid she could find out about what had happened. She couldn’t tell her though since she and Oliver had agreed not to tell anyone. She had actually been the one to suggest that because she had thought it was what was best. Rationally, she still believed it was best because as long as only she and Oliver knew about this, it was easy to forget about it. The more people would know, the harder it would get to pretend that night had never happened.

“You do know that I can see that something is wrong, right?” Tatsu asked, pouring the tea into the cups. “I mean it’s obvious that something is wrong.”

Felicity swallowed down hard and lowered her eyes to her hands in her lap. As much as she wanted to tell Tatsu because she felt like the words wanted to get out and they were strangling her throat as long as they didn’t, she knew she couldn’t say them. It wasn’t just the fact that she and Oliver had found that agreement. It was also about the fact that she just felt like saying those words out loud was only going to make it more real and she wasn’t ready for that.

“I-“ Felicity sucked in a deep breath. “I can’t talk about this.”

Tatsu handed Felicity one of the cups of teas and shot her a meaningful gaze. When Felicity took the cup of tea from her friend, Tatsu replied, “I doubt there is anything a person can’t talk about. Talking always helped.”

Felicity bit down on her tongue even harder than before. Usually, she was always talking. Since her childhood, she had learned to fill silence with babbles because she hadn’t been able to endure the silence her father’s absence had left the house with. She had been afraid of it. Right now, she felt there were no words to fill the silence she was feeling deep in her soul at the bare thought that she might have ruined her friendship with Oliver.

Tears welled in Felicity’s eyes as she thought about it, but she swallowed them down quickly. If she started crying now, Tatsu would leave her no choice but to talk about what was going on.

“I-“ Felicity had to clear her voice as it sounded so hoarse that it was almost unrecognizable. “I did something that I shouldn’t have done and now I feel terrible. It’s all going to be okay though. I mean it has to be okay and- yeah, it will be okay at the end.”

Felicity wasn’t sure if she believed her own words, but she knew she had to be optimistic. If she let on the possibility that she had lost her friendship with Oliver forever, she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to recover from it anytime soon.

“Hey, I got an idea by the way,” Felicity said, quickly forcing a smile onto her lips. “You know, I always wanted to have a dog, so maybe now was the right time. Since I am basically my own boss, I can certainly take the dog to work with me and… yeah… it might be a good time now.”

Felicity could see Tatsu’ hesitation. She knew something was going on that Felicity wasn’t telling her about but obviously didn’t want to tell her about either. Eventually, she decided to just let it go.

“Well, I am sure that you will become Akari’s most favorite person then.” Tatsu smiled. “Akari always wanted to have a dog.”

“Most little girls do I guess.”

Felicity smiled, remembering how she had begged her mother to get a dog when they had moved into their own home here in Starling. Donna had denied Felicity her wish though.

The closest Felicity had ever gotten to have a dog had been when Oliver had bought her a puppy. Some guy had sold like a dozen puppies. He had kept them in a paper box and bought then for 50 dollar each in front of the supermarket. Felicity would never forget the proud smile on Oliver’s lips when he had showed up on her doorstep, the sleeping puppy in his arms.

Of course Donna hadn’t allowed her to keep it, so Robert had given the puppy away to one of his employees who had been looking for a puppy to adopt. Still, Felicity had incredibly grateful for Oliver’s gift.

She and Oliver had so many stories connecting them with each other. Their friendship was a mosaic of a thousand little memories, some happy and some sad, but they made a beautiful image altogether. The thought that she might have lost this made her stomach clench so painfully that Felicity had to suck in a deep breath.

She couldn’t have lost Oliver. Her friendship with him was the most precious thing she had in life. She’d be lost if it was lost to her.

* * *

@fannaz @promiseyoullbepatientwithme @bytemegeekette @felicity-said-just-in-case @phanseptiic @orangeisorange @mspotatohead14 @whentheheavenfades @emmaamelia95 @smoakingskye @seaolicity @ourwritinginvein @1022bridgetp @felicityqueenforever @leagueofolicity17 @yryssss @myhauntedblacksoul @sherlock44 @sinceriouslybea @arrowsalways @olivyflavescentdeer @olicitys-castle @ofnothingcharming @vaelisamaza @smoakedandcharmed @alexisa1206 @mysaudadespt2 @florence-bubbles @addictiontelly @queens-of-arrows @memcjo @hysterical-for-joshifer @oswinelevenforever @olicitylovemaking @bandanab310 @mymusiclove101 @lynslogic @scarletqueen23 @olicityshipper19 @alex-wesley @arrows-4ever @unabashedlynerdypatrol @louehmysoul @ligiapimenta @chattyyana @charlie-leau @coal000 @samcrowleys @ishippolivia @julianegomesqueen @malafle @miriam1779 @charlinert @melaux @ontheolicityship @myshipperlife @wrightainsley @lexi9515 @ladygreenwood @multi-fandom-crazy-fangirl @morinamel @mje-thomas @kebarry @canadianheartgirl @nannett2307 @almondblossomme @paarti12 @kathrynelizabeth89 @imdfabulous @cutearrowgirl @mrt2501 @mecha1330 @arsipaci14 @mzminx @salasvia @brandis91 @cainc3 @morganmiguess @pr0fessi0nal-fangurl @iamisalima @nessafrancis-blog @jonhdiggle @niki-is-amazing @universed-posts @hopeful-warrior @senoritaswiftie @bellemmie @green-arrows-of-karamel @iheartarrow @olicityovereverything @oliverfel4 @navyaarsha @fandoms-breathe-life @simone4mcswarek @olicity-in-the-heart @fullychippedcreation @geemarie @everything-but-normal-cat @myarroworld @tjmartinez @pleasantfanandstudent @itsmagnoliagirl @j69confessional2 @scentedcolorpirate @icanica74 @javinancupil @tjmartinez98 @certainmentalityface @tatianadamaceno @ryelew @wildwillowzepplin @missafairy @letsplaymurde-r @lipizette @positivepiper @nuttymilkshakehologram @laksagirl @turnupthemusicandscream @pumpernickle93 @onceuponanolicity @1106angel @jaspertown @fadinglands @morganashimi83 @mochababychristy @omglovechrissie @mariejr88-blog @thetaufactor @onceuponanolicity @speakandseethetruth @bri206 @aglasgo @thats0klaroline @geemarie @pineprincess @nerdgirljen @peterpanslostgirl666 @eternal-olicity14 @allyouhadtodowas-stay-stay-stay @lovelycssefan @tsseract @flowerandsunshine @dcnmarvelgamergeek @blondeeoneexox @monetsmark @soaring-cities @bb-olicity @mashamarty @rulerofsilence @erika-amber @felicity087 @i-claim-only-emily @pattid1 @westallenandolicityshipper @babyolicityandwestallen @nothingmorethanmyotps @kayleenyc @tonto16 @olicityfluv @olicitea1990 @olicity5ever @haahaaa2408 @pattid1 @faegal04 @24karatgem @wrldtravler @readerkas @valery6488 @lemmyeatspeaches @olicity-beliver @greencoffeecups

(If you want to be tagged or untagged, just let me know. :))

[ninallthatjazz]

Review TdV Vienna – 07.06.-10.06.18

If you are wondering why I have been pretty absent from Tumblr last week – it’s because I was on my long awaited Vienna trip/Tanz der Vampire week. I originally had planned to see the show twice, on Thursday and Sunday. But somehow I got incredibly lucky and managed to get last-minute tickets with student discount for all the other shows during my stay, meaning I saw it 5 times (!!!) in 4 days.

And as promised I will review the show(s) for you, but since I had so little time in between, I couldn’t write up one for each performance right away. Also considering I already posted a general review of the Vienna show HERE, I will just review the roles/actors I haven’t mentioned/seen before, as well as sharing highlights from the individual shows that were particularly memorable.

I also have quite a few pictures, therefor I will put all this under a read more so you don’t have to scroll endlessly. Enjoy!

Cast lists:

Drew Sarich – Graf von Krolock I know, I have written about Drew already. I promise to keep it short. But I couldn’t write this review without mentioning how abolutely incredible Drew was once again. His Krolock is the most layered character out there in my opinion, he manages to make you feel all kinds of emotions with his portrayal. He managed to make me tear up during ‘Unstillbare Gier’ in every. single. performance. 5 times in a row! And the first and last time I was even full on sobbing and had difficulty breathing for a few minutes after the song was over - it was insane. I pray to god he will return to this role some time in the future, I can’t imagine this being the end of Drewlock.

Abla Alaoui – Sarah Chagal Abla was an incredibly sweet Sarah. I really loved her voice, might actually prefer it to Dianas even. Acting wise they are both amazing, and while they make different choices, I couldn’t say one was better than the other. I really liked the way Abla played the transformation in the end – it started out with small jerking movements and grew more prominent up to the revealing of the fangs. It was a very nice touch and made that whole scene that much more interesting. I also really enjoyed her chemistry with both Daniel Eckert and Drew Sarich (more during the highlights 😉).

Daniel Eckert – Alfred Daniel was an incredible Alfred. He was really sweet and he has a great voice, he and Raphael Groß are definitely my favourite Alfreds. Because even if I still want the Graf to succeed, they both managed to make me care about Alfred a little more and made me actually like ‘Für Sarah’ :D He was also very funny next to the Professor, which not every Alfred manages to do.

Christopher Dederichs – Alfred Christopher is also a good Alfred, and I did enjoy his performance a lot; but his voice wasn’t quite on the same level as the other two in my opinion. He still delivered on most songs, but ‘Für Sarah’ wasn’t quite as captivating. This is also due to personal preference, but I never imagine Alfred with blond and curly hair, so that took some getting used to. But all in all a great performance that I certainly wouldn’t mind seeing again 😊

Dawn Bullock – Rebecca Chagal I love Dawn as Rebecca. She is hilarious and has great comedic timing, and her voice is perfectly balanced between rough and melodic. Maciej Salamon – Yoine Chagal He was also a great Chagal, especially the comedic moments were great with him, but I think Nicolas Tenerani is definitely the better singer and showed more diversity in his singing technique – Maciej always ‘growled’ his lines which made Chagal not as complex a character as he was during Nicolas’ performance. Marle Martens – Magda Marle is an incredibly strong singer, and I was blown away by the effortlessness with which she sang. I found a new appreciation of ‘Tot Zu Sein Ist Komisch’ thanks to her.

Highlights: There are quite a few things I discovered in these shows, some of them are planned/regular moments, some just happened in one show (I will name the specific show in brackets).

·       In one show, Chagal (Nicolas Tenerani that day) tries to nail the piece of wood to the door, but it wouldn’t stay on – so he just took it down and carried it back out again XD (June 8th)

·       During ‘Nie Gesehen’, Rebecca searches for Chagal in her sleep, and when she wakes up, she checks under the sheets first before searching the room for him XD

·       After singing ‘Gott Ist Tot’, Drew turns to look back at the moon and bares his fangs

·       I never noticed that Alfred and Magda are flirting quite a bit during ‘Wahrheit’ – Magda is dropping some vegetable to have him picking it up as an excuse to start a conversation, and Alfred is totally into it!

·       When Abronsius is ‘whispering’ to Alfred during Wahrheit, Rebecca wants to know what he’s saying reeeally badly and even tries to ask Magda and Chagal if they understand, only to be VERY annoyed when they don’t.

·       One time, Rebecca (Tanja Petrasek) wasn’t on stage on time after ‘Rote Stiefel’ – she wasn’t there when Chagal said ‘…er hat sie geholt, hat sie uns entführt’! She came on stage right after though and just started with her line, I don’t think people noticed. (June 9th, evening show)

·       When the professor and Alfred try to interrogate the villagers after Chagals death, the village idiot sits there picking his nose, and that’s why he doesn’t notice everyone else leaving XD

·       After biting Magda, Chagal is howling like a wolf and then he has the hiccups; hilarious!!!

·       Raphael had a hilarious way of singing ‘…das Schloss von diesem GRAFEN!’ (June 7th/9th)

·       When the vampires are amongst the audience in Finale I. Akt, there were quite a few screams from surprised/terrified audience members XD

·       When Drewlock seduces Alfred, he smells at the sponge, and for some reason his voice sounds really weird singing the next few words (‘…ich weiß, was du fühlst und denkst…’); it almost sounds as if he were high! (from Sarah’s scent?)

·       Drewlock reacting to Herbert and Alfred meeting – glorious! During the lines “dies ist mein Sohn Herbert…” he is grinning as if to say ‘oh you poor boy, you have no idea what’s coming for you’ and when Herbert sings “Endlich jemand, der mir die Langeweile nimmt!”, he is putting a hand over his heart as if to say ‘awww, my precious boy has found a toy’ XD

·       During the ‘intro’ at the beginning of act 2, there is a lonely bat flying towards the castle, vanishing through a window – that looks exactly like the one Graf stands in front of at the beginning of ToFi!

·       While he is walking down the stairs during ToFi, Drewlock is stroking his bottom lip with his thumb while he is observing Sarah!

·       Drewlock touching Sarah’s hair and then smelling his own hand during Totale Finsternis – that was another great detail that made his vampiric nature tangible

·       In one show, Filippo forgot the lines during the beginning of ‘Carpe Noctem’ – I had to giggle a bit, but I don’t think it was very noticeable for people that don’t know the song by heart :P (June 8th)

·       I noticed that the cover black vampire, Jordan Hinchliffe, was wearing an open black vest, while Arltan Andzhaev (main cast) is always shirtless. (June 8th/9th)

·       In one show, the white vampire (Jasper Caransa) almost kissed Sarah (June 9th, evening show)

·       After the nightmare bite, Arltan ‘shares’ some of Sarah’s blood with Herbert

·       The Professor sniffed at both oatmeal bowls and gives the one that smells awful to Alfred (I am guessing that’s the one Koukol spat into 😉)

·       In the crypt, Abronsius mimics breasts when he says ‘denk an Chagal’s Tochter’

·       Chagal kissed Magdas foot when she stopped him from joining her in the coffin during ‘Geil zu sein ist komisch’ (June 9th, evening show)

·       Herbert (Charles Kreische) had a small mishap once, his sleeve caught in his neckline. But Charles was great, stayed in character and ripped it free with a dramatic eyeroll :D

·       When Krolock comes down from the pulpit in Tanzsaal, one of the vampires falls to her knees and kisses his hand

·       Before the Sarahlock bite, Drewlock looks to Herbert as if to get reassurance. Only when Herbert slightly bows in response, he holds his hand out for her.

·       Drewlock gave ‘Sarabla’ a kiss on the cheek before biting her (you read correctly – A KISS!!) It was Ablas last show as Sarah playing with Drew, and it was a sweet little gesture that had her giggling for a moment <3 (June 8th)

·       When Sarah falls after the Graf lets go of her, all the vampires move towards her and only stop when Krolock hisses at them, as if to say ‘don’t you dare touch her, she’s mine!’

·       Herbert flirting with another (male) vampire during the Ballsaalszene, dancing almost the entire thing with him, winking and waving at him

·       When Graf and Sarah were towards the back of the stage, Drewlock had another taste of her by running his finger through the blood on her neck and sucking it off his finger… (not sure if this was a one time thing – noticed it on June 9th, matinee show)

·       Krolock also flirting with (female) vampires during that whole scene – one moment that stands out is when there are only a few of the vampires left (shortly before they discover the human’s reflections). He changes partners, and when met with one specific female vampire he kisses his index finger and wiggles it at her (flexing and extending, not moving it side to side like some diva) – she basically turns into a teenie with a crush (as do I), giggling and legs turning to jelly. I asked Drew about it, and she is indeed supposed to be one of the many conquests the Graf had before Sarah.

·       Towards the end of Tanzsaal, Drewlock starts picking his teeth, he apparently still has Sarah stuck in his fangs. When the humans ‘dance into’ Krolock, he demonstratively flicks a piece off his fingers XD

Pictures:

Last, but definitely not least, I have a bunch of photos from the stage door and all the treasures I collected etc.

On the day of my last show I brought my own fangs and I had SO much fun posing for pictures with them – every single person I met at the stage door was super sweet and kind enough to play along 😊

This was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and I will treasure these memories forever <3

[venteast]

10 Newtmas moments from the books.

1) Thomas couldn’t stifle his worry about what Newt was thinking. He’d opened himself up, and he really liked Newt. If Newt turned on him now, Thomas didn’t know if he could handle it.

2) Thomas collapsed on the ground and Newt was on him in a second.

3) Thomas turned to see Newt there, smiling. That grin sent a wave of reassurance through Thomas, as if he were finding out the world was okay again.

4) “I like how you call me Tom." 

Teresa rolled her eyes. "That’s your name, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but most people call me Thomas. Well, except Newt – he calls me Tommy.”

5) Thomas didn’t care what they thought, but he was determined to show Teresa that she couldn’t get away with everything she’d done to him. Whatever trust they’d shared before the trials—whatever relationship they’d had—meant nothing now. He might find a sort of peace with her, but he resolved right then and there that he would only trust Minho and Newt. No one else.

6) Thomas pulled the neckline of Newt’s shirt to the side, then leaned over to read the words etched into his skin. “You’re subject A-five and they called you the Glue.” Newt gave him a startled look: “The Glue?" 

Thomas let go of his shirt and stepped back. "Yeah. Probably because you’re the kind of glue that holds us all together. I don’t know. Read mine.”

7) Rat Man cleared his throat. “Okay, then. Most of you are immune and have helped us gather invaluable data. Only two of you are considered Candidates now, but we’ll go into that later. Let’s get to the list. The following people are not immune. Newt…”

Something like a jolt hit Thomas in the chest. He doubled over and stared at the floor. Rat Man called out a few more names, but none Thomas knew—he barely heard them over the dizzying buzz that seemed to fill his ears and fog his mind. He was surprised at his own reaction, hadn’t realized just how much Newt meant to him until he heard the declaration. 

A thought occurred to him—earlier the Rat Man had said that the control subjects were like the glue that kept the project’s data together, made it all coherent and relevant. The Glue. That was the title given to Newt—the tattoo that was etched in his skin even now, like a black scar.

“Tommy, slim yourself.”

Thomas looked up to see Newt standing there with his arms folded and a forced grin on his face.

Thomas straightened back up. “Slim myself? That old shank just said you’re not immune to the Flare. How can you—”

“I’m not worried about the bloody Flare, man. I never thought I’d still be alive at this buggin’ point— and living hasn’t exactly been so great anyway.”

Thomas couldn’t tell if his friend was serious or just trying to seem tough. But the creepy grin still hadn’t left Newt’s face, so Thomas forced a smile onto his own. “If you’re cool with slowly going crazy and wanting to eat small children, then I guess we won’t cry for you.” Words had never felt so empty before.

“Good that,” Newt responded; the smile disappeared, though.

8) With time to think, the full reality of what had happened hit Thomas like a falling boulder. Ever since Thomas had entered the Maze, Newt had been there for him. Thomas hadn’t realized just how much of a friend he’d become until now. His heart hurt. He tried to remind himself that Newt wasn’t dead. But in some ways this was worse. In most ways. He’d fallen down the slope of insanity, and he was surrounded by bloodthirsty Cranks. And the prospect of never seeing him again was almost unbearable. […]

He pulled the envelope out of his pocket and ripped it open, then took out the slip of paper. The soft lights that ringed the mirror lit up the message in a warm glow. It was two short sentences: 

Kill me. If you’ve ever been my friend, kill me.

Thomas read it over and over, wishing the words would change. To think that his friend had been so scared that he’d had the foresight to write those words made him sick to his stomach. And he remembered how angry Newt had been at Thomas specifically when they’d found him in the bowling alley. He’d just wanted to avoid the inevitable fate of becoming a Crank. And Thomas had failed him.

9) “I’m coming for you, Newt,” Thomas whispered, so softly that no one could possibly hear him. “I’m coming for every last one of you.”

10) “You wanna know why I have this limp, Tommy? Did I ever tell you? No, I don’t think I did.”

“What happened?” Thomas asked, stalling for time. He slipped his fingers around the weapon.

“I tried to kill myself in the Maze. Climbed halfway up one of those bloody walls and jumped right off. Alby found me and dragged me back to the Glade right before the Doors closed. I hated the place, Tommy. I hated every second of every day. And it was all… your… fault!”

Newt suddenly twisted around and grabbed Thomas by the hand holding the gun. He yanked it toward himself, forcing it up until the end of the pistol was pressed against his own forehead. “Now make amends! Kill me before I become one of those cannibal monsters! Kill me! I trusted you with the note! No one else. Now do it!”

Thomas tried to pull his hand away, but Newt was too strong. “I can’t, Newt, I can’t.”

“Make amends! Repent for what you did!” The words tore out of him, his whole body trembling. Then his voice dropped to an urgent, harsh whisper. “Kill me, you shuck coward. Prove you can do the right thing. Put me out of my misery.”

The words horrified Thomas. “Newt, maybe we can—”

“Shut up! Just shut up! I trusted you! Now do it!”

“I can’t.”

“Do it!”

“I can’t!” How could Newt ask him to do something like this? How could he possibly kill one of his best friends?

“Kill me or I’ll kill you. Kill me! Do it!”

“Newt…”

“Do it before I become one of them!”

“I…”

“KILL ME!” And then Newt’s eyes cleared, as if he’d gained one last trembling gasp of sanity, and his voice softened. “Please, Tommy. Please.”

With his heart falling into a black abyss, Thomas pulled the trigger.

[fantasyimmortal]

Satisfy Me

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |  Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 | Chapter 23 | Chapter 24 | Chapter 25 | Chapter 26 | Chapter 27

Saeran POV. MM Fantasy AU. Fic Rating: Explicit

Tags thus far: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Rough Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, Explicit Language, Derogatory Language, Masturbation, Violence, Blood and Violence

               “Did you find everything you were looking for, my liege?”

               I uncrossed my legs and looked up from the book in my hand and saw Ricward in the doorway of my room. Snapping the book shut, I sighed as I placed it on the table beside me. “It’s been a week. If I don’t have it all by now there’s no fucking point in waiting any longer.” I followed his gaze as he looked towards the bed. “Do you think she’ll be okay?” I asked him.

               Ricward gave me a curious sideways glance before he smiled softly. “Her body is fine but I have no way of gauging her mental state.”

               I signed and buried my face in my hands. “So, her body could make it through the pain but her mind might break?” I heard him walk over to me and quickly got up from my chair when he put a hand on my head. “I don’t need fucking comfort.” I looked over my shoulder and saw him smiling at me as he crossed his arms. “What the fuck are you smiling at?”

               He chuckled before looking back towards the bed. “Nothing at all, sire. Nothing at all.”

               I glared at him as he continued to smile at me. What is he so fucking happy about? I walked over to the bed just as Gevirah was waking up. I looked down my nose at her and she gasped. “I hope you’re prepared.” I warned her.

               She scoffed. “Prepared for what?” My mother’s pet had long since returned to its owner and every time Gevirah spoke I wished it had stayed longer. She turned her face away, refusing to look me in the eye while she pulled at her restraints.

               “I haven’t tortured in a while. I’m a bit out of practice.” I smiled as her body stiffened. “Good thing you heal fast.” I reached down and roughly turned her face towards me as I loomed over her. “I can make all the mistakes I want and you won’t die.”

               Her eyes widened and shimmered as tears began to form. “I’m sorry, Prince Saeran. Please…”

               I clenched my teeth as willed myself to release her jaw before I broke it. “Do you honestly think that your pitiful words are going to help you now?”

               “I’ll…I’ll let her go I swear! This could kill her you know!” She wailed as the tears slipped from her eyes.

               I growled deep in my throat as a straightened my back and turned away from her. My claws dug into my palms as I took a deep breath and let it out through my nose. “You can do this, right?” I questioned Ricward through gritted teeth.

               “Of course, your Highness. Shall we start the preparations?” He bowed at the waist as I gave him nod. He proceeded to pull a knife from his waistband and used the blade to slice along his finger. “I’ll get everything set up, sire.”

               “Good. I’ll go get my brother.” I flung the doors to the balcony that connected mine and Luciel’s rooms. I strode in the direction of his room, raised my fist, and punched through his doors.

               “What the fuck!” Luciel yelled as he slammed his closet doors closed.

               “Knock, knock, brother.” I crossed my arms and observed him. “It’s time to fix what you found so much pleasure in doing. You crack one smile and I’ll rip your wings from your back!” I threatened as I saw the corners of his lips twitching upward.

               He held his hands out and shrugged. “Okay. I’ll smile later.” I narrowed my eyes at him as he walked in my direction. He placed an open hand on my shoulder and looked over the rim of his glasses at me. “You have to admit though, you’re finding all of this a little fun.”

               I growled as I grabbed his wrist and threw him against the wall. “Fun?! How is this fucking fun?!” I raged as my hands found their way to his neck. He squinted one eye as he put his hands around my wrists trying to keep the pressure off his throat. “More than one life is at stake!” I squeezed my hands he until gasped for air before I let him go. “You remember what I told you?”

               He slid to the floor, coughing and gasping for air. “You…told me if she dies… You’d kill me.” He choked out as he struggled to stand up.

               “I’m glad you remember. Now think of this, if she dies and we die, who will protect mother?” I cocked an eyebrow and smiled as his eyes shot open in shock. “If it all works out, let this be a lesson to you should you get the itch to fuck with my things again.” Turning on my heels I marched back to my room.

               “Saeran…” He rasped as he followed after me.

               “What the fuck now?” I asked without turning around to face him.

               “You would put mom’s wellbeing into this?”

               “What the matter Luciel? Afraid of collateral damage? You weren’t afraid of it when you fused that demon whore with ______’s body. So you’re actually the one that put mother’s wellbeing at risk.”

                I ignored him as he sighed and followed me into my room. Ricward had drawn the pentagram on the floor and was restraining Gevirah to a chair in the middle of it. He had put some kind of paste over her mouth. “Oh, sires. Apologies. She wouldn’t stop talking and it was grating on my ears.”

               “You aren’t going to be trapped in that, RiRi?” Luciel questioned from over my shoulder.

               I frowned when Richard’s eyes seemed to sparkle. “Don’t fucking call him that, he’ll whine even more because I refuse to.”

               “Lord Luciel, I’m fine. Like the two of you, a simple thing like this can’t contain me.” To prove his point he theatrically stepped outside the pentagram. I rolled my eyes as my brother gasped in amazement. “I’m not just a pretty face.” Ricward chimed as he smiled and winked.

               “Knock it off! We have work to fucking do!” I growled.

               “Yes, Sire.”

               “You!” I turned and pointed to Luciel. “Don’t turn to your true self until you’re behind her.”

               He smiled as he sauntered past me. “Someone’s touchy.” He chuckled as he positioned himself behind her before taking on his true attributes. He pushed his glasses up his nose and crossed his arms. “So what now?”

               I gave him my own smile as I revealed my true form as well. “One more step then we can proceed.” I pressed the claw on my right thumb to the palm of my left hand and slashed it across my skin.

               “What the fuck?!” Luciel shouted as he stared at me.  

               “Don’t worry brother, you don’t have to do anything for this part.” I stepped into the pentagram and Gevirah looked up at me with worried eyes. Reaching out to her I pulled down the neckline of her clothes. She whimpered in fear as I smeared the blood from my left hand against her chest. I looked over he head at my brother, who was starting to look nervous. “Hey brother, want to know a fun fact?”

               “What are you talking about?” His voice held a hint of unease.

               “Identical twins on Earth have nearly the same DNA.” I licked my index finger and traced a symbol into the smeared blood.

               “Y-Your point?”

               I gave him a smile. “Identical demon children don’t have that luxury.” I stood up and looked down at the symbol that showed a waning crescent with three teardrop shapes beneath it. Nodding in satisfaction I stepped out of the pentagram.

               “What did you do? And what’s your point about our genetics?”

               “For a week I’ve been researching. Obviously, in this situation, if she dies I would die as well due to the imprint. So if I died I couldn’t fulfill the promise I made you. Which I’m sure you were counting on.” I rose an eyebrow as he swallowed hard. “Well this symbol is one of life binding, from ancient lore. You use the blood of the person whose life the symbol will be bound with but seeing as how our DNA is exactly the same well…” I shrugged and laughed. “You’re shit out of luck.”

               “What?!”

               “Best part is, it doesn’t matter where you are. She dies. We both go with her.” I smiled widely as he balled his hands at his side. “Now, Ricward. You can start.” I encouraged him as Luciel glared at me.

               Ricward took his place and cleared his throat. “Now, Highnesses this might sting your hurt your ears a tad but you mustn’t move. I can’t stress that enough. You may also feel a slight dizziness, we are using some of your powers after all.” He straightened his posture and took out a pair of glasses before opening an old book of text. He flipped through the pages until he stopped somewhere in the middle. He took a deep breath and looked between the three of us before he held up two fingers and began reciting the text on the page.

 “Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica.

Ergo draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica adjuramus te. cessa decipere humanas creaturas, eisque aeternae Perditionis venenum propinare.”

                 My ears burned and I winced as Gevirah let out an ear-shattering screech that only a demon could bellow. She began to convulse in the chair as she sounded like she was being suffocated. My fists clenched as a definite lump trailed up her throat and she jolted forward to vomit large amounts of blood.

               “Don’t move, sir!!” I heard Ricward yell and I forced my body to keep still.

               I ground my teeth as she gagged on the blood. I glanced up at Luciel and saw the look of terror on his face as he watched her. My gaze turned to Ricward who calmly stood his ground as he watched carefully making sure my brother and I kept still.

               “S-Saeran?”

               My head jerked back to the center of the pentagram. It was a soft voice. One I hadn’t heard in a while, but I knew whose it was. “_____...?” He name fell from my lips unconsciously.  

               “It hurts…” She whispered as lifted her head weakly. She lurched forward as she purged another round of blood to the floor.

               I looked down at the growing pool of blood and felt a white-hot rage rush through my veins as the blood began to form the outline of Gevirah. With one last round of vomited blood, Gevirah sat up and gasped. I took a step into the pentagram grabbing Gevirah by the throat.

               “P-Prince Saeran! Please!”

               “Ricward!”

               “Yes, sir.” He said before using his speed to remove _____ from the chair.

               “Take care of her. Don’t—“

               “She won’t die on my watch, sire.” He held her limp body in his arms and bowed his head.

               I started to pull Gevirah out of the pentagram, her scream echoing against the walls of my room. “Oh, I suppose I should’ve fused a bit more energy into you so it didn’t hurt that much.” I laughed and shrugged. “Oh well, right? You can go now brother.” I snapped at my brother before turning towards a blank wall in my room.

               Keeping hold of Gevirah’s throat I raised my free hand and threw a wave of air at the wall, causing a passageway to open. Without looking behind me I dragged Gevirah down the winding stairs that lead to a candle-lit dungeon. I took a deep breath as I looked around.

               “It’s been a while since I’ve been down here.” I sighed, feeling nostalgic. Gevirah cried and tried to drag her heels into the ground as I walked towards one of the torture devices that decorated the room. I threw her onto one of the tables and strapped her against it. “You wanted my attention? You’ve got it.”