#i s2g this is all actual bullshit we do

[paeinovis]

Like okay. You're picking fights with the #1 bringer of people (and their money) into the state and provider of jobs, you're threatening all the gays and trans ppl and drag queens and Chinese ppl and immigrants as a whole and Black people and anyone who isn't You like Bitch WHO do you have left what money do you have left you stupid cunt !!!

[calandrinon]

and now, a dramatic and not necessarily historically accurate re-enactment of the unification of the principalities of moldavia and wallachia, as understood by one very stupid australiancă who really should be doing more productive things, îmi pare rău everyone

please correct me wherever necessary, it is the only way i will learn :)

(into the time machine we go)

Negru Vodă: *și-a lui ceată, toți voinici cu fruntea lată*

Me: not that far back

(the 15th to 19th centuries, pretty much)

Moldavia and Wallachia: *get kicked around by the ottomans*

Moldavia and Wallachia: *get kicked around by the Russians*

Moldavia and Wallachia: this is such bullshit

the Crimean War: *occurs*

Moldavia and Wallachia: oh fuck off

(the Treaty of Paris, 1856)

The powers: Well we probably could give you a proper unification, but the broader geopolitical situation, you know.

The powers: So it's back to the Ottomans with you two.

The powers: But the Sultan is going to set up focus groups so you can come up with how you want to run your little principalities and we'll tell you if it's ok.

(the Ad-Hoc Divans, 1857)

(I just like saying "Ad-Hoc Divans")

Moldavian separatists: *steal the election*

Moldavian unionists: Hey!

the Ottomans (pro-separatist): la la, nothing to see here

England and France (pro-unionist, I guess, if they have to): no, do it again

Wallachia: some of us got it right first time

(the Paris Convention, 1858)

The powers: (are they still going on about this? how can we make them go away without destabilising the region, fucking eastern europe we s2g)

The powers: We have read your demands and we all had a good laugh! Here's what we are actually prepared to give you.

The powers: Now why don't you each go and elect a domnitor.

The unionists: *read the convention*

The unionists: *notice a loophole*

The unionists: you know what would be hilarious?

(5/17 ianuarie 1859)

Moldavia: We elect Cuza as our domnitor.

the entire population of Iași: *goes off*

G. Sturdza: dammit that should have been me

the unionists: shouldn't have been a Russian agent then

(24 ian and also 5 feb)

the unionists: oh shit we want Cuza but he doesn't have the support of the conservatives

Wallachian liberals: mobilise the populace!

Wallachian conservatives: vaiiiiiiii this decision is too hard

over 30 thousand people converging on the Assembly:

Wallachia: ...We also elect Cuza as our domnitor.

the entire population of București, probably: *goes off*

(then)

The powers: *19th century diplomatic keysmash*

The powers: You can't do that!

The United Principalities: Show us in this convention where it says the domnitors have to be two different people.

The powers: ...

The powers: All right but you're still not a real country.

Cuza: hold my țuică

(epilog)

Romania: Can we have Bessarabia back now?

Russia: NO

Mihai Eminescu: you will be hearing about this

Eminescu: give me a minute

[cryptidqueerr]

I posted 4,084 times in 2022

That's 95 more posts than 2021!

109 posts created (3%)

3,975 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@drownedinlight

@ukulelekatie

@bushy-haired-know-it-all

@ximajs

@windewehn

I tagged 499 of my posts in 2022

#he lives in queue - 170 posts

#text - 167 posts

#cr spoilers - 26 posts

#critical role - 22 posts

#gideon the 9th - 21 posts

#tlovm - 14 posts

#tlovm spoilers - 11 posts

#the locked tomb - 8 posts

#laura plays d&d - 6 posts

#critical role spoilers - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i’d add to this that miyazaki took a book written by an english woman who lived through wwii that had war as a backdrop but centered people

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

i’m your biggest fan, i’ll follow you because i love you, nosfer, nosferatu

117 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

#4

i s2g if you’re new here from twitter you had better not bring all that over-the-top asshole behavior over here and start trying to bully our nice celebrities out of town. this isn’t like twitter, this isn’t a vehicle for your stunted rage, you don’t get to just throw bullshit around and get a power trip off being a dick to someone more famous than you. they’ve been here longer than you and by god they’ll be here after if I have anything to say about it

145 notes - Posted November 9, 2022

#3

me every day reading a new letter from my friend jonathan harker or, alternatively, receiving no new communication from my friend jonathan harker:

496 notes - Posted May 18, 2022

#2

okay real serious talk from your internet big sister: i really need y’all to be prepared for conservatives to retake a lot of societal ground in the next few years. there are so many younger people, especially young queer people, who don’t remember the bush era, don’t remember the 2000’s, who only see society as it is now where left/liberal ideologies really dominate the general social fabric and are going to have a really rough time when conservatives start controlling a lot of the social dialogue. a lot of what we’ve been used to being able to avoid because the really blatant conservative messaging has mostly kept to itself might be about to become mainstream. their beliefs are going to start to show up the TV you watch, the advertising you see, the music you listen to. it’s going to feel like losing ground, losing time, being pushed out of spaces where you were welcomed and acknowledged.

this isn’t to scare you, honestly. we lived through it not so long ago and still pushed through and got here, we’ll do it again. it’s just to make you aware and let you know that if you do start seeing those kinds of messages or start seeing the representation that you love go away, it’s going to be okay. people haven’t suddenly regressed around you - the assholes just got louder. you’re still loved and welcomed and you can still find places to have a home, they just might be a little harder to find for a while. but people will always work to push things forward again, and even if we lose now we will get back one day ❤️

4,792 notes - Posted May 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i am here to tell you that it is okay for there to be good things in your life right now. to celebrate the little, local, personal wins. it is okay for today to be a good day for you, even when there is so much bad in the world. actually, if you’ll permit me to tell you a secret: it is absolutely imperative when the world at large is this bad that you enjoy the moments that are good. sing because you are in love, for the first time or for the first time in a long time. celebrate a good grade, good work feedback, a successful dessert finally achieved. sleep in a bit of sun and enjoy feeling safe and warm and comfortable. it doesn’t mean you don’t care. it doesn’t make you callous or cold. you know bad things are happening but you also need, desperately, to know that not all things are bad. find it when you can, and enjoy it without guilt, and if you need permission then here it is, freely given

7,338 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[areuserious]

(i don't ship period for exactly these bullshit arguments) did u know that like. people can be friends with people for a lot of reasons. i have friends who ship stuff i'm uncomfortable with (incl. batcest) we just like, don't talk about it. that's it. it's easy. and they ARE survivors (yes i have multiple friends like this IRL) like, maybe you need to go touch grass. my IRL friends got sent r@pe threats for writing things to cope with their trauma and they DID cw/tw for it so like. it's just exhausting to see this argument, i had to distance myself from my IRL friends in the online sphere because they lumped me in with "proshippers" nonsense. it's so dumb. i don't care, no one who's actually an adult gives a fuck. does it skeeve me out? yeah. but like people have... more than one interest and more than one reason that others enjoy hanging out with them. but then u get online and it all gets boiled down to "shipping" and it's like. exhausting. people just don't know how to interact online i s2g. get over urself. just hit the back or block button it's no that hard? same as i'm doing to u because i'm tired of seeing these fights on my dash, they bring up bad memories. like, ur responsible for what you consume online. ur a fucking adult. if u don't like something just like. ignore it. idfk. it's just pixels on a screen it's not that deep. art has always had upsetting content and it's ur job to consume or not consume it, same as like, idfk horror or whatever. i don't talk about grindhouse w my friends and they don't talk about batcest with me and it's golden, we are still friends. it doesn't fuckin matter once you log off. we still order pizza together and find movies we can agree on and do tarot readings like Who The Fuck Cares, only you actually.

i am not going to send r-pe threats to anyone actually fun fact? its not my fault that some weird puritanical antis sent u death threats so idk why youre framing it like its my fault when im not an anti, i just stated that i find it weird

ok so ur an adult and you said most adults dont care but why send a paragraph to a teenager on tumblr.com explaining how ur ok with being friends with proshippers (nothing wrong with that, i just dont personally want to be friends with proshippers for personal reasons) you clearly care

'it's just pixels on a screen' okay then surely than its ok for people to be sent r@pe threats because it's just pixels on a screen??? this argument is dumb and if it was just pixels on a screen than you wouldnt be so pissed i was stating my opinion :P

not an adult but i can use search functions thats not exclusive to people over the age of 18! but its still weird to me? like even if i filter it on ao3 its still weird to me that people enjoy seeing siblings kiss

ok good for you that ur eating pizza with proshippers i guess! but thats your opinion and i have mine! go off weird internet adult and do what ever the FUCK you want i dont care but why are you turning on anon to annoy me on this bright summer day

yeah idk man. just because you have an opinion does not mean that everyone else shares that opinion and if you went outside and said to like 10 people that you enjoy reading about siblings dating than im pretty sure at least 1 person would be weirded out but maybe thats just me

[codenamearcturus]

cool so bc kai and nya have basically adopted lloyd as a younger brother here's some shitty sibling headcannons based off True Actual bullshit my 2 younger siblings and i do (tag as green/flame and i'll fucking maul you):

the Most Absurd sibling deals fucking. ever. kai asks nya to take out the trash for him and nya brings up when she ran his patrol 3 months ago and when she bought him a sprite so kai ends up taking out the trash and doing the dishes for her

nya steals food from both of them near nonstop and half the time they dont even notice. mfer is stealthy

if u try to steal food from her tho? ur fucked say goodbye to ur hand

all of them r needlessly dramatic abt small injuries (esp lloyd) but nonchalant abt big injuries (SUPER esp lloyd). the rest of the team is gonna kill them

Conflict Escalation

kai: nya fuck off or i’ll kick you in the shins!

nya, dead fucking serious: try it and i’ll kill you

the endless contest to stack things on lloyd while he’s sleeping (usually goldfish) and its twin, stick things in kai’s hood while ur walking behind him

once fr christmas nya gave lloyd a nerf gun and accidentaly started the Great Nerf War on the bounty

lloyd shot everyone non fucking stop til kai snapped and got a nerf gun of his own to combat him

eventually it spread and all six of them got nerf guns. no one was safe. the whole bounty became a war zone for weeks

(finally zane stole and hid all the nerf guns to end it)

dead dad jokes like you would not fucking believe (at least between s4 and s7), which lloyd is so fucking grateful for cause kai and nya basically teach him tht coping w grief is 10% emotional shit and 90% jokes (zane and cole get in on it all the time too cause jays the only one that actually has 2 living parents)

kai listens to. the worst music and nya and lloyd will never let him live it down

lloyd: kai we are not letting you pick the music all you listen to is mumford and sons and that weird punk band

kai: what! no! just this morning i was listening to johnny cash!

nya: kai thats even worse

nya will do anything you dare her to do, no matter how gross. the most famous instant of this is when kai dared lloyd to drink lemon juice and while they were arguing about how much kai would pay lloyd if he did it, nya walked by and fucking downed the whole thing without even making a face. this is when everyone on the bounty realized just how fucking powerful Nya Goddamn Smith is

lloyd is The Baby Sibling and always will be. this is a blessing and a curse

on one hand he can get away with just about anything

on the other hand nya and kai do not give one fuck that he is the green ninja they can boss him around as much as they want and they dont have to do one (1) thing he says cause You’re the Baby, Lloyd

god the fucking. ultimate sibling attack where u karate chop ur sib in the stomach while they’re lying down and it’s instant death? yeah. thats fucking brutal with these three. none of them ever lie down w/ out their arms covering their stomach they know what’ll fucking happen

acting like a pretty tame insult was the saddest thing you ever heard (lloyd does this so much)

kai: lloyd you’re a dumbass

lloyd, sounding heartbroken: what about it??

in the same vein, the classic compliment/insult pair

kai: lloyd, i love you and you are very kind, but youre dumb as rocks

these three would literally kill for each other but also nya started throwing almonds at lloyd when he fell asleep on the couch during lego cake boss and threatened to knock him out herself if he didnt go up to sleep immediately and kai responded by throwing grapes at lloyd from the other side of the room

[awkward-smirks]

.

[ellenripleysbelieveitornot]

What about an Akechi/Joker role swap AU where Akechi is still the detective prince and Joker is still the Shujin delinquent, but the major difference is that Morgana never lost his memories and found Akechi before he approached Shido with his metaverse assassination plot?

Like, imagine Akechi, bitter and jaded, who has just awakened Loki and felt the terrifying and thrilling rush of the berserk power. He's formed a plan to get back at his piece of shit father, even managed to set up a meeting, which he had to set up months in advance, and on the day he's going to present Shido with info on the metaverse, he winds up arriving a few minutes late, because even though he intended to be early, he was accosted by a talking cat (he's been in the metaverse, so he can hear him) on the way over, and in the whole wtf-ery of the moment, lost track of time. Shido, being Shido, refuses to see him and will not reschedule because he doesn't like having his time wasted.

Pissed off, Akechi leaves to find Morgana still waiting for him outside. So he doesn't look like an idiot yelling at a cat on the street, he brings Morgana back to his shitty apartment, where Morgana explains why he had found Akechi and whats up. He doesn't know about Yaldobaoth taking Igor's place, he just knows there's two champions, and Akechi was the one he found first, so he must be Igor's chosen champion. (It is my theory that it doesn't actually matter who was Igor's and Yaldobaoth's champions, it was more about the choices they each made and where they ended up.) 

Akechi has no interest in saving the world, but he knows that if he wants to get back at Shido, he needs to become someone of consequence, so he agrees to undergo Morgana's training, since Morgana clearly knows more about the metaverse than he does, and he can use it to solve cold cases, earning him a place as the Detective Prince. He changes a few hearts, to pacify Morgana, too. It takes a couple years, but during his senior year in high school, he makes it, earning himself the cooperation of the police and the spotlight of the public eye. He's getting so close to making Shido notice him that he can practically taste it. Also, what’s this ‘velvet room’ he keeps dreaming about?

Then Morgana finds Kamoshida’s palace and is like ‘heyo, you thought changing hearts in the metaverse was cool, check this shit out’ and Akechi is admittedly intrigued , so he takes a look. He sees the inside of Kamoshida’s heart and is appropriately disgusted and says to Morgana, ‘hey we should totally kill this guy’s shadow.’ Morgana’s like ‘why is your first suggestion always murder, we don’t know what would happen if we killed his shadow, Igor wasn’t very clear about that bit, we should try stealing the treasure instead’ and Morgana has been useful (and it’s been really nice to have the company these past two years, though he won’t admit that) so Akechi agrees ‘fine, we’ll steal the treasure, but if that doesn’t work, then I’m killing his shadow.’

And that’s when Ryuji and Ann make an appearance (’ohmigawd, goro, be more careful with that damn app, i s2g.’) Ryuji’s mom apparently thinks Akechi is pretty neat and watches all his interviews, so Ryuji knows who he is and is delighted to find out that the lame-ass detective his mom has talked about is actually a grumpy badass in the metaverse, with this shadow that has some kind of insane power, and hey, he helped them bring down Kamoshida (alive,) so maybe he is actually pretty cool, even though sometimes he spaces out and talks about evil twins and some longed-nose dude. He decides then and there that he’s going to be Akechi’s best friend, since he apparently has none, and Ann is all too happy to join in for the ride, and all of Goro’s protests have fallen on deaf ears, and they know about the whole detective prince thing being a facade, so he might as well indulge them for now. 

The ‘Phantom Thieves’ (a name that makes Goro want to roll his eyes whenever he hears it, and why is everyone calling him ‘leader?’) gain fame and change hearts, gaining new members such as this weird-ass artist dude who fights with ice, and oh, god, one Nijima is bad enough, don’t tell me there’s two! and she uses nukes, wtf?!

Around this time, he also meets Shujin’s delinquent, enigmatic transfer student whose talk of hope and justice never quite seem to reflect in his stormy grey eyes, and he and Goro are clearly birds of a feather in a way, he can tell, there’s just something about him, and he thinks this guy might actually be his best friend, but don’t tell Ryuji that, he’d never hear the end of it.

Akechi learns the truth behind Akira’s arrest and Shido’s involvement and he is disgusted to find that he genuinely wants to help this guy, and he can’t do that if Shido’s dead, maybe he doesn’t want his revenge as badly as he thought??? Oh, ew, I have feelings that aren’t anger and it’s all my friends’ fault, I can’t just leave them and go off to get revenge, they’d literally die without me, those lovable idiots. Also, when Ryuji saw his home, he pretty much insisted he stay with him instead, and Ryuji’s mom reminds him of the good times he had with his own mother, and he honestly doesn’t think he has the strength to disappoint her like that. So, he decides to change Shido’s heart, but he knows that there’s no way that this little group of miscreants is strong enough to take on the fucked up bullshit that he’s seen in Shido’s heart, so let’s hit pause on that for now.

Shido had Wakaba killed via completely non-supernatural ways and stole her research, same as before, so Futaba still has a palace. He found out Akira worked at Leblanc a while ago and started dropping by, and then somehow Ryuji found out about it, and now all the Phantom Thieves know, so much for a peaceful place to get away, but he actually doesn’t mind that much, and Akira lets Akechi keep an eye on the shop when there are no customers so he can go out and do errands and Boss doesn’t mind, so they’ve ended up hanging out there as a group from time to time and talking Phantom Thief business, so Futaba knows who they are, and asks for their help.

Okumura’s palace pretty much goes the same, Okumura dies somehow, are we responsible, why does murder actually make me feel kinda bad, stupid friends and their stupid good influence. 

Goro attends the Shujin student fair as guest speaker, whoa, the class president being friends with Akechi does have its perks, doesn’t it? Akira finds them all there together and approaches them, tells them he saw them go into the metaverse, awakened his own persona, and saw a guy in a black mask kill Okumura’s shadow, hey why don’t I join you, you probably need all the help you can get, who’s heart are we stealing next, how about Sae, she knows my probabtion officer and has been giving me hell, plus I already checked, she definitely has a palace.

They agree, and oh, hey, Akira can hear Morgana talk now, but WAIT A MINUTE?! Didn’t he hear Morgana talk before when he told Goro that Leblanc didn’t sell sushi, even though Goro hadn’t asked for any?

They hack Akira’s phone, learn that Shido (Akechi recognizes that voice) will have thugs waiting to capture them when they leave the palace. They plan around it, pull the metaverse switch and manage to sneak a heavily drugged Akechi out of the warehouse Shido stashed him in by traveling through the metaverse. Shido’s lackey’s have written a fake suicide letter from the leader of the Phantom thieves, and the chief of police, under Shido’s orders, delivers a statement confirming its authenticity, and look the plan succeeded. All they need to do know is take down Shido.

Things are going great, until they get to the engine room, where Joker, having realized what happened, is waiting for them. Joker, who lost everything after he transferred, who discovered the metaverse completely alone, who didn’t mean to kill that guy’s shadow, but he attacked him first, and Shido had somehow known, had been keeping an eye on him, had him convicted for a crime that he didn’t commit in the hopes that he would break because he needed an agent in the metaverse, and so far he’s had no luck. Joker, who had nothing left to lose and had accepted the only hand that had reached out for him.

They fight, and when it looks like things are going badly for Joker, he pulls out... a second persona?!?! At least, it looks like a persona, but something about it is off. it looks familiar somehow. And then Akira asks if they knew it was possible to fuse personas and Akechi realizes what he’s looking at. These aren’t the clean executions that Caroline and Justine perform, these are personas that have been ripped apart and haphazardly thrown back together with no thought to form or elegance, look, there’s a Yaksini’s arm, and that bit right there clearly used to belong to a Rangda, and I think that piece might have belonged to a Seiryu, and Akechi should stop listing personas now because Ann thinks she’s going to be sick.

They keep fighting. Joker can’t understand the difference in power between them. After all, aren’t they the same? Unloved, unwanted, soldiers pitted against each other by some bullshit higher power?

When Joker shoots the bulkhead door closed and Futaba reports that she’s lost Joker’s reading, Akechi vows then and there that he’s going to kill Shido after all. And he almost does. He stands there, with his gun pressed to the head of the shadow of his father, his friends can’t blame him, and even Morgana knows better than to try and stop him. But he doesn’t. He remembers Akira’s madness there at the end, and wonders what he would have become of him if it weren’t for Ryuji, who somewhere along the way, he’d realized he’d stopped tolerating and started actually liking. Ann, who shared his woes about being in the public eye and swapped tips with him about how to handle the press. Yusuke, who, although he was still completely bizarre to him, appreciated the beauty in life and didn’t tease Goro for his taste in Grandpa clothes. Makoto, who knew the importance of hard work and who, between herself and her sister, had caused Goro to pick up some healthier coping mechanisms. Futaba, who made fun of him for his food blog, but liked the same nerd bullshit that he did and would bombard him with memes until his day somehow became a little less shittier. Haru, who dreamed of starting her own business and actually cared about Goro’s opinions, and could threaten someone with a smile in a way that even Goro was jealous of. And Morganna, who had reminded him what it was like to not be lonely, and demanded more sushi than he could afford, but always made sure Goro ate his fill, instead of getting so focused on his work that he forgot.

Akechi guesses that he must have turned soft somewhere during the past several months, but after seeing what happened to Akira, he can’t help but be grateful, knowing with certainty that if things had turned out differently, that would have been him. Hey, Morgana, you know that world-saving bs you talked about two years ago? Let’s leave this piece of shit here to rot and focus our attention on that instead.

And you guys know the rest.

Or, at least, that’s how I thought it would go. Feel free to share your thoughts. :)

[miraculouscontent]

Didn’t Need Burrow (April 11th-16th)

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: After the Truth episode occurs, Luka will either not appear nor be talked about(not even by Marinette, Juleka, Sass, or Anarka) at all, or, if he does appear, he'll avoid Marinette like the Black Plague. Guess who's fault it'll be(Kagami will still appear and be on good terms with Adrien, though, since anything that makes Marinette happy needs to be either ruined or gotten rid of, while anything that makes her miserable needs to stay around just to be rubbed into her face.).

I s2g if they have Adrien and Kagami patch things up immediately just to make Marinette feel awkward--

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The idea that Nino's hat is a keepsake from his late brother comes up during an episode where it inevitably gets damaged and/or destroyed. Marinette is somehow responsible/blamed for this, and/or is forced to try and repair it regardless of feasibility, while being guilt-tripped/ridden every inch of the way. Bonus points for Adrien making some clueless comment about buying a replacement and STILL being treated as more empathetic to Nino's feelings even while ignoring them.

“Bonus” if everyone pressures her over the hat, which eventually leads to Marinette realizes that it can’t be fixed to be the exact same way, so she hides it and lies about it, leading to the episode blaming her for hiding things from her “totally understanding friends” (who are suddenly “totally understanding” and are only upset that she lied to them/”thought so lowly of them”) instead of her friends for making her feel like she had to be perfect.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: A Sleeping Beauty-inspired akuma will ensnare Ladybug, 'forcing' Chat Noir to kiss her awake. While Adrien/Chat naturally claims that he would 'never take advantage of his lady', he is openly gleeful at the prospect and taunts her afterwards, complete with a call back to Oblivio as he tells her to 'check the LadyBlog' to find out what happened. Her dismay over this is played entirely for laughs.

*flashbacks to the “jokes” in “Prime Queen”*

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Just like in countless Salt Fics, Alya will get upset at Ladybug for claiming that it's 'too dangerous' for her to be Rena Rouge anymore after Miracle Queen. Regardless of what she does/how she lashes out, Marinette will be held 100% responsible for the fallout, with Su-Han criticizing her for selecting Alya/the others in the first place AND for 'allowing' their identities to be exposed.

That’s what you get for trusting people, Marinette (apparently).

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will expose more Miraculous-related secrets on the LadyBlog, such as posting the identities of the heroes who were 'already outed' by Miracle Queen. Marinette will be blamed for this, with Su-Han reading her the riot act for every single choice she's made.

And also, Alya will get no flack for this because “she’s a journalist!! she’s just doing what she’s supposed to do!”

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: After spending most of the season taking the piss out of Marinette at every available opportunity, Su-Han will start warming up to her just in time to be taken out of the equation by something like Alya posting another 'big scoop' on her blog revealing his existence to the villains. Marinette will be left with even less support and all of the guilt, while Alya learns absolutely nothing from the experience because why would she?

Considering “Truth,” I just automatically presume that characters who support Marinette lovingly/unconditionally will either be abused or kicked to the curb.

Anonymous said:

Don't need Burrow: "Queen Banana" will be like typical episode with Chloe akumatization. 90% Chloe drama and angst, 10% akumatized Chloe (and probably 0% sense)

Show, I’m begging you, just let this character’s focus die already. We are SO tired...

Anonymous said:

didnt need burrow: the show ends with hawkmoth (now shadowmoth i guess) being defeated, heavy implications that the LS will be canon, but no solid proof, any other plot holes disappear in the cheery end music and all fans are left annoyed at the open ending filled with plot holes (bonus: That Guy says smin like "you would know if you watched carefully" to anyone that asks wtf happened)

Fun for us love square salters at least so there’s that? :P

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Trixx wants to return to Alya despite the danger/her past exposure, and ignores Marinette's concerns, leaving/reuniting with Alya over her protests. This is either played as 'It's fine, and Marinette should have trusted Alya more' or 'It's not fine, and it's all Marinette's fault for trusting Alya in the first place and letting Trixx get so attached'. Or both.

Astruc would totally use the opportunity to brag about the whole, “She’s already taken!” line in “Truth” being foreshadowing.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Bunnix reveals that there is an alternate, 'better' future in which Lila never worked with Hawkmoth and became a heroine instead. The turning point was, naturally, that Ladybug never called her out for lying/stealing from Adrien. (Possibly because Adrien never snooped in the safe in this timeline, yet it's still depicted as Marinette's fault.) May couple with confirming she's the future Hawkmoth and that it's all Mari's fault the heroes are still fighting her years later.

Which means that Chat makes the “reversible” mistakes (i.e: Cataclysming Bunnyx’s miraculous) while Ladybug makes the “permanent” ones.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette/Ladybug will get accused of being a selfish glory hound who needs to learn how to share the credit and 'be a team player'... after Adrien/Chat slacks off during a fight and refuses to help. Bonus points if this is tied into the exposed heroes' predicament somehow, implying that the REAL reason she won't give them 'their' Miraculi back is that she's selfish/short-sighted/not good at working with others/insert other bullshit excuse here.

T_T

I’m so tired.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette will do something unbelievably selfless and self-sacrificing, only to promptly be slammed by the narrative and treated as though her decision was incredibly selfish.

Honestly you could just ad lib that.

“Marinette will do [something positive], only to promptly be slammed by the narrative and treated as though her decision was [negative].”

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Su-Han will pressure, belittle and berate Marinette until she breaks and agrees to give up being Ladybug/the Guardian. This is naturally treated as the worst thing she could possibly do, with everyone (including Su-Han) ripping into her for it. There is no equivalent of Plagg's 'I've had many holders, but nobody can replace you, Adrien' shilling, beyond Marinette being informed that she MUST continue and deal with her many inadequacies by becoming BETTER. She has no choice.

“You’re the worst Ladybug!”

“Okay I’ll stop being Ladybug.”

“HOW DARE YOU”

“?!?!?!”

Anonymous said:

Don’t need Burrow to know that the writers will retcon Marinette allowing Adrien to BORROW her lucky charm so that Marinette actually GAVE it to him instead.

Bonus: of course, the birthday scarf issue/secret is never addressed. RIP in piece, Marinette gift number xxx0

Technically, this has already happened even back in “Befana,” so I don’t count it. Adrien has said that Marinette gave him that lucky charm forever.

Definitely adding that scarf one though.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: We get Love Square scenes (shipping fuel) in the next episode (even though Maribug and Adrichat just broke up with Luka and Kagami).

I mean, we got love square shipping fuel in the Adrimi and Lukanette episodes, so :|

I’ve just come to expect inappropriate timing at this point.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: In a future episode Chat Noir will be even worse than he was in Lies and still be portrayed sympathetically. I don't know how you can get that low, but I have faith that the writers will be able to pull it off and that's not a good thing

“I don't know how you can get that low“

they’ll find a way, I’m sure

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Kagami will become an antagonist/team up with Shadow Moth post-Adrimi breakup for the plot twist "the main villain has been in the show all along." ((This is based on the end card for Lies. I really hope they don't do this because Kagami is one of the only reasons I'm still watching the show.))

I’d only be here for that if her endgoal is getting Luka and Marinette as far away from the plot as possible.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: We STILL don't know how the Peacock Miraculous got damaged and how Emilie Agreste fell sick. Bonus points, we find out in the season/series finale or on social media.

Double bonus if Astruc claims that the decision is good and they did it on purpose (probably to keep people talking).

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Zoe debuts as the new Bee holder on the same episode Chloé is akumatized.

I’m 100% expecting Chloe to be salty at all the adoration that Zoe gets.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: if Adrien is ever in the wrong about something, it will only be for about five minutes and it will ultimately be blamed on Marinette.

Marinette: *breathes*

writers: Yes! Something we can blame on her!

Anonymous said:

Didn't need burrow: The relationship between the Couffaines and Jagged will not be explored. They might perform a song together and that's all, Luka forgives Jagged for abandoning him (his daddy issues just magically disappear so he doesn't bring it up anymore) while Juleka doesn't interact with Jagged at all

I’m torn between, “Luka will basically never appear again,” and, “Luka will suddenly appear much more often now that he’s no longer a ‘threat’ to the love square (Marinette didn’t break up with him because of Adrien but sure).”

Anonymous said:

Didn't need Burrow: "Gabriel Agreste" will be all about how he's not really evil just misunderstood. He had a lonely childhood or some garbage and we should feel totally sad for him you guys.

wow i hate it

[yarrowleef]

Read Darkness Within all in one sitting last night and then passed out so here are my scattered thoughts i wrote down as i read, (afterthoughts in parenthesis)

Darkness Within Spoilers, obv

UGH GOD THE SECOND HAND EMBARRESMENT FROM SQUIRREL FAKE FLIRTING WITH ASHFUR IT HURTS

Just remembered Sandynose died and got a small boost of happiness (will Hawkwing and Plumwillow ever be allowed to talk again now? I mean probly not b/c they aren’t protags and non-protags don’t rly have friends but I can hope. Sorry, Hawkwhing and Plumwillow’s short-lived friendship in Hawkwings Journey was one of the last times I felt something)

Ghost fleas lol

Mothwing: i’m rude now. (but more importantly, Fuck Tigerheartstar for forcing his son to be around the cat that hurt him so badly, like he HAS to know how upset everyone is regarding Shadowsight and his accidentally helping the imposter, and he’s making him be the sole one to tend to him??? There is NO REASON Puddleshine couldn’t have done it. You think Puddleshine is going to try and murder someone?? )

Oh no don't make this a traveling book, and a ROOTBRISTLE traveling book this is going to be insufferable

BACON AND EGGS

Lightleap Is Good (Hey didn’t Shadowsight have another sister? lets be real we all knew Pouncekit was going to end up as the forgettable 3rd one)

Bristlefrost’s crush continues to feel unnatural to me. It’s like she’s grasping at straws romanticizing the most generic things.....wow....I love how ur just so...bare minimum competent....being polite to the loner we came all this way to ask for help like any somewhat reasonable person would....How admirable...I love the way you just *clenches fist* exhibit some basic traits of loyalty and skill that literally every warrior has (I s2g I’m this close to head canon-ing Bristle as a clueless aromantic who doesn't understand what romance is actually suppose to feel like so she just looks at feelings of low-bar admiration and assumes “oh I guess this is that “romantic attraction” everyone’s always talking about? guess I must be in love???” because both her crushes have felt out of nowhere and like. Idk fake/forced sounding like she’s just telling me that that she’s In Love Now while I continue to not actually feel it at all from her end. I know it’s just that I hate the way Erin’s write female characters in love but this head-canon makes me laugh)

Got scared because I thought they were going to villainize Spotfur for not wanting kits for a minute, but also excited at the concept of maybe exploring a female character that doesn’t want to be a mother, but it turns out she was just pulling a Sparkpelt and actually DID want the kits all along and was only hesitant because she’s sad. Shrug oh well.  (the only female character in warriors that was distinctly upset about pregnancy and motherhood was Lizardstripe and as we all know she was eeeeeevil and abusive and “overly ambitious” because why else would you not come around to being happy about motherhood?? YES I’M STILL SALTY ABOUT YELLOWFANG’S SECRET, BAD BOOK)  Whatever it’s fine so long as Spot doesn’t lose her rebel leader spirit forever and default to “soft mom” personality for the rest of her life, I gotta have hope because I actually like Bristle and Spot’s current relationship. Also I am actually very grateful they never made Bristle resentful at Spot for getting with her crush, as lots of middle grade/YA media has a very bad habit of demonizing female romantic “competition” and its super gross, so I rly do like that Bristlefrost is so protective and caring towards her instead. )

This series is trying to tell me that Rootspring is actually Big but I refuse to accept that. he has dumb scrawny bitch energy and we all know it

Sunrise: “Thunderclan may be better with a new leader” lol go off (i mean........they right tho...It’s unfortunate that the tension in this whole plot is a bit dampened by the fact that i DO in fact want bramble to die v badly. I don’t even have special hatred for him, I’m just bored of him.)

Yes Lionblaze beat the shit out of Ashfur

*HOLY SHIT THAT’S FUCKED!!!! (I wrote this in reference to the ghost summoning scene, this was all I could manage at the time, that scene was WILD and I am VIBING WITH THE HORROR OF IT ALL)

* Brashfur: Oh yeah? Could Ashfur fake THIS? *stands up with slightly better posture* Shadowsight: oh damn you got me there...... (asdfhhfhhgh im sorry that was really funny, how did that prove anything?? ONLY A ~REAL~ WARRIOR COULD STAND UP STRAIGHT WE ALL KNOW ASHFUR IS INCAPABLE OF GOOD POSTURE!)

End of the book: *LAUGHING NERVOUSLY* WHAT THE FUCK??? (I thought he was just gonna kill Squirrelflight right there holy shit can you imagine the RIOTS that would ensue in the wake of all this Squirrel/Bramble discourse I was so scared for a second.  

 But it’s fine, she just....went to super hell instead......Warriors has come so far lmao WHAT IS HAPPENING

Final Notes:

*On Mothwing, I don’t think her behavior struck me as “CHARACTER BUTCHERING” as much as it did for other people? I mean.....Warriors fans will say that literally any time a character does ANYTHING less then perfectly nice I think her actions just seemed that much harsher because we are reading from Shadowsight’s POV, and Shadowsight is taking everything 10x more personally right now (understandably so, but Mothwing isn’t inside his head) she wasn’t trying to hurt him. Also... like... Shadowsight DID get his name too early. It’s not Mothwing’s job to put his feelings above everything else, she’s not even his mentor, Puddleshine on the other hand, as his main mentor, I don’t understand what his deal is ignoring Shadowsight, that’s not how you help an apprentice but I suppose I chalk many of his mistakes up to also not being the most experienced medicine cat (he barely even had his own mentor.) Maybe he’s distant because he feels guilty and actually blames himself for not guiding Shadowsight better?? the two of them haven’t communicated about it yet so idk

 any way I give Mothwing a pass to be a little short tempered right now as a cat who has had her abilities periodically questioned all her life no matter how hard she works or how much experience she has, just because she doesn’t vibe with the spiritual cult side of the clans, I can understand why she’s a bit defensive of being questioned and frustrated watching so much hurt happen Yet Again due to reliance on StarClan visions over common sense, and I for one still stan her for slandering StarClan and refusing to accept Mistystar’s bullshit banishing like everyone else. Sometimes a character is at the end of their rope and can’t manage to be 100% nice 24/7 and that’s maybe not inherently bad writing? idk just my hot take. At a certain point we all gotta reckon with the fact that our perception of most popular supporting characters in heavily colored by fanon and we can’t always get mad at the authors for not adhering to it

*The sisters magic shit is my fav worldbuilding warriors has had in AGES, I love the way it’s described and it actually feels like it adds something to this world. I love this horror imagery with the ghosts, very excited for that. 

*still won’t be thrilled if Ashfur is working alone, because his motive doesn’t make sense right now. I mean the trying to get Squilf thing, sure, whatever, but the “I will make everyone pay for what they did to me”???? cause like?? Who??? they didn’t do anything to him?? Ashfur’s grievance was very specifically JUST Squilf. He has no other cause for revenge, he had no other beef or complaints about the clans to my knowledge? The cat that killed him is dead, and she’s like, the only other one that I could see as having “wronged” him?? I guess he also didn’t like Firestar much according to Graystripe’s Vow (and on account of how willing he was to kill him w/ Hawkfrost) but Firestar is ALSO dead. I don’t understand his angle. Will have to see last 2 books to judge i suppose.

*All in all I am interested to see where this is going!! but also the pacing as I feared is becoming a major issue. It’s better then ending the main conflict on book 3 like Vision of Shadows did, but omg. Hardly anything happened in all these pages. I realized I was over half way through and nothing about the situation had actually CHANGED or advanced at all in all that time. Similar to the past 2 books which I believe could have been combined, this plot felt like it should have been the first half of a book. Discussing whether or not to kill the imposter isn’t much of a standalone plot, it’s just the set up to a plot. Finding the sisters didn’t need to be a whole long thing, the debates about the Imposters fate didn’t need to be repeated 10 times, all those chapters illustrating that “Shadowsight is sad” were also drawn out, repetitive, and interchangeable, we probably only needed 2 or so chapters showing his struggles to get the necessary information across. It felt like a lot of padding, it was really slow and I did a lot of skimming. I am still very interested in the overarching plot and mystery behind the ghosts so that kept me reading but man this “will they won’t they kill him” plot did not justify it’s own whole book. Alas this is a persisting issue that will never be resolved while they continue to force 6 books into 1 series that doesn’t need 6 books. I’m sure the writers are doing the best they can with these unfortunate constraints but still, it’s a wonder this slow padding isn’t more of a detriment to their younger readers that the books are supposed to be marketed to.

[sheathandshear]

There’s this trend on the interwebs where people are moving from calling something “problematic” (which is now mostly a joke because of how widely it’s been misapplied) to declaring that something is “harmful”, or often, “directly harmful”, I guess because I’m the only person who thinks that playing Seven Moral Degrees of Kevin Bacon would be a fun party game.

The left has always excelled at circular logic, but navigating any fraught discussion, no matter how inane, has become a weird minefield of homogenizing, essentializing, and “boosting marginalized voices (that you personally agree with)”, and the language of harm is at the center of so much of it, because people have discovered that the more wishy-washy “problematic” invites arguments but “harm” demands condemnation.

Like, “[x group] has said that [y thing] is DIRECTLY HARMFUL to them, so stop saying/doing/using/enjoying it.” “…Every member of x group? You’ve asked people? In real life?” “That’s tone policing/gaslighting/emotional labor/talking over [x] voices!”

Or, “[x group] has said that [y thing] is DIRECTLY HARMFUL to them, so stop saying/doing/using/enjoying it.” “How is it harmful?” “It’s not marginalized people’s job to educate you! Google is free!”

…And so on and so forth, and there’s no room for argument or discussion or disagreement, because obviously anything that causes harm to someone is objectively bad, right?

Except... no. Pretty much everything can be misused in ways that can result in hurt for someone, but that does not mean that those things are intrinsically harmful, nor that others shouldn’t use, be, or engage with them.

To wit, a short list of neutral things that have been directly harmful to me because I, a variously marginalized person, have misused them, underused them, overused them, encountered them before I was ready, had bad counsel about them, bad luck, bad exposure, or lacked the context/knowledge/safe techniques to best engage with them:

- Bicycles - Scissors - Coke Zero - Prozac - One night stands - Licensed Social Workers - Monkey bars - Vegetarianism - Alcohol - MDMA - Romantic relationships - Big men with loud voices - The term “panic attack” - Those giant concrete planters in malls

All of these things directly resulted in significant, lasting negative effects on me — emotionally, physically, socially, financially — most for years afterwards, and some to this day. Much of these negative effects were a result of societal forces much larger than the things themselves — sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, ageism, fatphobia, trauma, abuse.  I can point with precision to a direct chain of events that began with the mis/use of one of these things and say with complete accuracy and honesty, “This resulted in harm to me.”

Yet none of those things are bad by definition. In fact, almost all of them can be fun, useful, or both, and I think we can all recognize that attempting to block municipal funding for bike lanes by ranting about how ��bike lanes condone and encourage the use of BICYCLES, which have been DIRECTLY HARMFUL to me” would be technically true and also completely absurd. The fact that I got a TBI because of unsafe use in dangerous surroundings with inadequate supervision doesn’t mean that it’s morally wrong for my neighbor to happily bike to work in their little reflective vest. The whole culture of people biking without safety equipment isn’t great, but that’s not a commentary on bikes themselves, and bike lanes and stylish helmets do a whole lot more for cycling safety than clutching pearls about how bicycles are HARMFUL (because sometimes their use causes harm).

Obviously, there are things that aren’t neutral — that really are just objectively bad. But when neutral things that can be misused in harmful ways and things that can only ever be harmful are all referred to with the same word and responded to with the same level of seriousness, the result is bizarre false equivalencies where systematic lead poisoning of poor mostly-POC residential areas and the self-ID term “bi lesbian” are treated as basically the same, and truly dangerous things get buried under a deluge of bad faith bullshit, often in the aforementioned form of “[x group] says that [y] is directly harmful to them” parroted by someone who isn’t a member of x group and in fact has never actually talked to an x group member in real life about y and has at best read a few twitter threads.

And when a member of x group does chime in with “this is directly harmful to me!” I s2g 95% of the time that when questioned what it really boils down to is “because of my own self-image, circumstances, history, and/or trauma, this makes me uncomfortable, upset, insecure, and/or triggered, and I externalize this emotional pain as harm inflicted upon me by an outside source (you, the person who said/wrote/did the thing that I reacted to)” which like, again. No?

To pluck another example from my own life: someone crying and asking for comfort in the aftermath of an argument is a huge trigger for me because of my trauma history. I shut down, immediately start looking for escape routes, and panic for hours if not days afterwards. Affectionate physical touch in that situation literally makes my skin crawl.

That doesn’t mean that the other person is harming me by needing a hug for reassurance any more than I’m harming them for being unable to genuinely provide it. It means that, through no fault of our own, our safety needs are in opposition, and this situation hurts.

It’s like — words matter, and universally escalating their severity (and absolutism) when talking about emotionally charged subjects is so goddamn counterproductive. It shuts down conversations that actually need to be conversations, not moral cage matches; completely ignores the awkward and ugly reality of competing access needs; and it obscures the difference between hurt and harm, essential nature and subjective use, between “treating Black boys as adult men is harmful (because it actively puts them in danger)” and “bicycles are harmful (when you’re 9 years old and riding with a broken helmet down a steep slick hill without adults or older kids to tell you ‘walk your bike down and then ride on the flat bit’)”.

If you mean hurtful, say hurtful. If you think this actually harms someone, take the time to explain what you mean and why, or move on and don’t engage. No one is obligated to disclose their trauma or educate everyone all the time, but neither is anyone obligated to pay attention to someone who tells them “so ackshually this thing is extremely bad and wrong but I won’t tell you why I think that or give you information to decide for yourself because that’s too much work for me”. And if someone does have the energy to wade into discussions but then pulls that out and waves it around as their primary rejoinder, that’s probably a pretty good indicator that their ‘proof’ for that argument is a house of cards and they’re engaging for petty personal reasons or to display their knowledge of a shibboleth or both.

[gerrydelano]

I'm also Grey's trash and not to be controversial but Cristina should've been bi/pan, nonbinary, and should've been allowed to romance Teddy Altman with how HARD Cristina went for her. || A TMA Au where Meredith is an avatar of the lonely/end-touched and we know this bc the archivist kept finding statements about a messy blonde who uses her loneliness to hook up with every basic bland white dude character in the hospital she works at and everyone who works at that hospital ends up dying. Derek is spiral-toucjed because THE LIES THAT HE TELLS, THE MANIPULATION, HOW HES SOMEHOW STILL MCDREAMY AFTER ALL HIS BULLSHIT?! Spiral, maybe tinged with Deso.

you’ve unlocked the special interest i’m going to ramble under a cut now

AAAAAAAA

cristina gives off MASSIVE lesbian vibes to me personally, but regardless, she DEFINITELY loves women or could if they’d let her! it’s as clear as her Really Obvious Autism, i s2g. every relationship she has with men is Horrible! owen DIE challenge i fucking HATE owen. it’s so painful to watch, they treat her so badly and i’m like ma’am you could have been with teddy... it could have been okay... i honestly was so into that ages ago and life woulda been better if they’d just done that instead of what they’re doing with teddy Now because YIKES

like i kind of rly hate the way they revealed her bisexuality as like. the reason she’s a serial cheater like it really sucks to see what she became now suddenly coming Back to her being sapphic like oh no come on i didn’t want it to be like This!

also FUUUUCK. lonely/end meredith... i can’t do this you’re RIGHT even her limbo is an empty beach she can’t run on, me and ren LITERALLY said it was like a lonely/spiral domain when she couldn’t run towards derek so SPIRAL DEREK IS KILLING ME LMAO. 

honestly, he did some Crap for Sure, but everyone kind of did, given that it’s a medical drama meant to be endlessly convoluted, and like. personally i miss him, he defended meredith so hard when a lot of other people didn’t and he loved her so much. Definitely hated his everything with addison + hated the whole “temptation” subplots they gave him they were Stupid and Bad but like. when it came down to it, he did his best i think. though FUCK that last lady before his death OOGH i’m still PISSED about her too lmao!!!!

basically your brain is HUGE i’m gonna be thinking about lonely/end meredith until i DIE because boy howdy that shit hurts actually! g-d she has SO much about drowning and water and everything, too, like. g-d.

okay meredith big borderline also js. also bisexual. she’s so bisexual. remember when she and derek and callie were coparenting for a little and got into that little routine and she and callie kissed each other bye before work that was so fucking cute jVHBKN.

g-d. 

g-d yeah wow okay fuckign. lonely/end meredith i’m???? i’m having a stroke i’m just thinking about the bomb in the body cavity and the shooter in the OR and the lengths she goes and how little she valued her own life before other people really depended on her to stay alive and now she’s so tempted to stay on her beach and just be finished but she can’t oh i’m so fuckign sad jgvhbkjn i’m SO fucking sad!!!! fuck. i love her so much jvhbkn

i should also out myself and say i’ve made the gerry = meredith connection ages ago and that should say a lot about where my heart lies

[obaewankenope]

Senator McCain is being an obtuse asshole about the whole Clinton’s Emails and Russian involvement in the 2016 election. I mean, Comey said that Clinton wouldn’t be tried for anything to do with EMAILS and hat’s basically what he said at the time because he had no idea at the time that either of the two candidates were involved in collusion with Russia. Perhaps with MEMBERS of their campaigns sure, but NOT THEM SPECIFICALLY.

McCain is honestly being an asshole about this right now and trying to establish doubt in a guy who has served under two other presidents and showed NO FAVOURITISM TO EITHER. 

McCain can just go fuck off and die already so someone younger and less fucking douchey can take his place I s2g

[punkscowardschampions]

China & America

China: What the actual fuck

China: Mullans is an actual paedo

China: Why else would he cast her in that role, it’s so fucked to make us all participate in his creepy fantasy for no good reason

China: She makes no sense as Elizabeth, like not at all

America: If he was he’d have cast me as the lead instead of killing me off first

America: say the word & I’d actually participate in his Lolita kink 🍭👓❤️

America: meanwhile he’d get accused of favouritism if he gave you the role you wanted every year & if you weren’t grateful enough last time, why would he?

China: Shut up

China: Neither of you should get the role, you’re just kids

China: I’ve been here for 4 years now, he knows I can act, she’s not been in anything before

China: Her and Jake are going to look so dumb together

America: I should’ve got more of a role than lounging around looking fuckable and then killable for a scene but I’m not bitching about it

America: You don’t get offed until right at the end, Lucie has 0 scenes with Jake & an ugly outfit, you’ve got fuck all to complain about, you hated her more than Libi last I checked

America: He’ll look stupid anyway, he’s an imbecile

America: find another excuse to 😋🤤 over him

China: A maid’s outfit isn’t ugly, she’ll probably hit up adam & eve for it

China: Or take her ma’s

China: A big word for you, isn’t it?

China: He can’t help that Mullans cast a literal child as his lover, lucky he hasn’t dropped out on principle honestly

America: I was trying to stop you spiralling about Lucie as well as Libi but I don’t know why I bothered 🙄

America: Jake can’t help that he doesn’t have principles

China: I’m not spiralling

China: And you don’t even know him

America: I can’t help him having too many faces & personalities to keep up with

America: I’ve got a life of my own

China: Your pettiness surrounding him is so beside the point

China: Your little friend thinks she’s God’s gift I s2g

China: This is going to be such bullshit now

America: to get back to your pettiness about Libi

America: she gave the best audition, what was up with yours, fucking up half your lines like that?

China: I had to go basically last

China: aka already had to watch her using the deaf kid for bonus points

America: How else was he supposed to audition? Mr Mullan doesn’t know any sign language, deaf kids don’t tend to take music

China: Yeah, perhaps that’s a sign he shouldn’t

China: She totally used him for her own gain, what’s he going to do, seriously?

America: they’re friends & she helped him, I know you’ve lost yours but try & think back to when you had some

China: you’re beyond gullible if you believe any of her act

China: and I’m not talking about her audition

America: Yeah, she’ll have been biding her time since she was 4 for an opportunity exactly like this 👌

China: Well duh, I’m not saying it’s all about the play

China: it’s all of it, like look at me, I’m SO great 🙄 please

America: But staying on the subject of the play, nobody else can talk to him, he was using her as a translator

America: that’s this shit school’s fault not hers & if everything she touched turned to gold Mullan would’ve cast Bobby as the lead

America: she didn’t get her own way either

China: Even she can’t convince that an actor who can’t talk is a good idea

China: and yeah, bet she’s really gutted she gets to be all doe-eyed at Jake, ha

China: Only the deaf kid 💔 over that

America: Only you & Lucie get like that over Jake

America: & she’s running out of lads, what’s your excuse when you could have any others you want?

China: mhmm

China: literally not true, loads of girls think he’s fit, because he is

China: I don’t expect you to get it

China: not everyone wants to go out with literally the first loser who will

America: loads of people are a ride before they open their mouth but I understand how talk of a shite personality would be awkward for you

America: & yeah you’re probably 💖fated💖 cos of it, I’ll stop fighting that

China: If he didn’t have something about him he wouldn’t be lead rn

China: you can think it’s fake if you like but you don’t know him, like I said

America: Wow, he’s a convincing psychopath that’s what I’d be looking for in a boyfriend

America: 😐

America: you don’t know Libi or Sean but you’re being a cow about them

China: How’d you get that from what I said

China: you’re determined to make him the bad guy

China: not every guy is Gary

China: I know them plenty, like you said, she’s been about forever and he’s hardly an enigma

America: I know Jake’s not [whoever the indie-rock heartthrob is of this era]

China: You’re so fucking childish

China: Don’t ruin this play for the rest of us who don’t wanna look like total twats

America: You’re as delusional as mam

America: ✨💩 is still 💩

America: don’t ruin this play with your sour 🍇

China: I’m not the one out here taking over as if it’s my play

China: One lead role has really gone straight to her head, it’s out of order to exclude people but involve every freak in the school she wants to

America: You want all those ‘freaks’ to be excluded, it’s out of order to even call them that

China: I let Mr Mullans decide, didn’t I?

China: As he’s the actual director, not Libi Foley

America: & if Mr Mullan wants to say anything, he isn’t non-verbal

China: See if he don’t, like

America: it’s meant to be fun, Chi

America: remember when we used to have loads of it

China: And I’m trying

China: and I have, in every other play

China: I’m not the problem

America: I haven’t been in any.of.the.others. & you’re trying to fucking mess this up cos you’ve got a problem with all the 🏰attention👑 not being on you

China: It’s my thing that’s why

China: For fuck’s sake I can’t have anything anymore

America: & you dared to call me childish

America: Jake’s not a toy, I’d have taken his batteries out if he was

China: You keep bringing him up, I haven’t once

China: You don’t get what this is about at all, so yeah, you’re a fucking child

America: cos I’m not gonna badmouth Libi the way you want me to

America: it’s not her fault you went last & lost your nerve

China: So much for loyalty

America: 🖕 You don’t look out for me at any time

China: That’s bullshit

China: I cover for you constantly

America: You spare yourself the aggro with Gaz, it’s about his tantrums not me

China: You’re gonna lecture me about aggro? Pfft, right, that’s a good one Ricky

America: the subject of today’s lecture is you only giving a fuck about yourself

China: Really?

China: Right, then sod trying to play nice with you and your messed up charity cases

China: Have it your way

America: 👌 you have lost your acting knack

America: or you really don’t know what nice looks like

China: I know Libi Foley is the fakest bitch I’ve ever come across

China: Rather you than me be her little puppet

America: How do you know?

China: I’ve got no friends now, remember?

China: I’d know

America: a non-answer doesn’t help me, if that’s what you’re trying to do

China: Ask why your friend is bitching about me when she knows about our home life rn

China: Not so nice, is it

China: that special first year was telling me how mean they think I am when I asked her why she was in rehearsals

America: You literally are mean to her & she thinks literally

America: that doesn’t have anything to do with Libi

China: She’ll get a slap if she’s literally that rude to the wrong person

China: They’re related, like 2 times over in their incest family

America: You’re still not telling me how or why she’s fake

China: Because she acts like she’s so sweet and she’s bitching about me with a literal imbecile

China: duh

America: You’ll take Astrid’s word for it but not mine

America: what.the.fuck

China: She’s literal, right?

China: Clearly not lying

America: Libi’s not gonna disagree with Astrid to stand up for you, you have been mean to them all loads of times

America: but she’s not actively bitching about you to anyone

China: you wanna believe that so you don’t have to wonder what she could be saying about you

America: I lie better, what the rest of the school is saying is 🥱

China: Don’t get me started on how embarrassing that is

America: 😶

America: you embarrass wayyyyy easily, I don’t know how you’ve survived this family up to Gaz’s gatecrash

China: Nah, I just don’t embarrass myself as naturally as you and Sza do, that’s the truth of it

China: But that’s the whole point, we’re both doing this to have somewhere to be for a few hours a week, don’t hog it and make it so I can’t, yeah?

America: I’m not embarrassed, comparable to her other than our stupid names, or hogging anything including your limelight

China: Tell that to your friends with their private rehearsals, okay

China: how is that good for cast bonding?

America: if you care so much about cast morale, lay off Bobby, Libi & Lucie

China: I haven’t done anything but whatever

America: 😐

China: 🙄

America: Pre-Gary you’d have been the one organising private rehearsals & that’s why you’re mad

America: he’s the freak, nobody else

China: I’ve never said he isn’t my main problem rn

China: Other people can still be arseholes and not help

America: I know

China: Whatever

China: I’m going to find somewhere to be if not I’ll see you at nans

America: I’ll see you at nan’s if Sean’s mam kicks me out of his again

America: 🐁🐈

China: 🙄👌

America: Bless her 💖

America: touching how invested she is in our sexual health & wellbeing

China: yeah it’s well good she thinks you’re that much of a skank

America: Unlike you & Jake we’re officially going out so I don’t have to look out for 💄 mirror messages calling me a whore or sharpie stall graffiti depicting the 🍆😗

China: Unlike me and Jake, you’re 12 so, doubt that

America: I’m nearly 13 & he’s like a month younger than you

China: Yeah, he’s a predator, cool

China: Invite his ma to the party ours won’t throw you

China: Sean and Gaz will get along great

America: 🖕

America: Jake ranks girls by how fuckable they are, including me & you only don’t care how predatory that is cos you’re high up on the list

China: I’m not 12 though am I

China: Any fourth year that needs to hang out with 1st and 2nd years is obviously a freak

China: Look at your boyfriend and deaf kid before you start pointing fingers

America: Could’ve fooled me with how 😍💖 you are

China: At least no one is going to accuse me of fucking someone for a bed

China: How stupid are you, do you want everyone to know our business or what

America: At least a bed is useful, you only wanna fuck Jake for school status

America: nobody cares if he picks you or Lucie except the two of you

China: Romantic

America: You already know I like him

America: the 😍💖💣🍆💫 of it

China: Well I like Jake

America: I know

China: So back off

America: You bitch at me whenever I lie

China: I don’t need to hear your opinion on him because you literally don’t know him

America: You don’t wanna hear my opinion cos it doesn’t match the one you need everyone to have about him for your 🏰validation👑

China: I don’t wanna hear it because it’s irrelevant

China: You clearly don’t get me, never mind him

China: Play grown-up on your own time because it’s just painful to watch

America: I don’t get either of you, but that’s not about how much cooler & older you are than me or how you only get each other

America: finish crafting yourself into his manic pixie dream girl on your own time cos the ✨transformation✨ is 🥱 & 🎃

China: Thanks for the compliment

America: Use your awesomeness to get rid of Gary & I won’t have to sleep anywhere else or tell the real adults how fucked home is

China: I’m not fucking trying?

China: Jesus, if it was easy it’d be over and everything would be back to before

China: There is nothing I’d rather

China: And nothing I’m putting more of my effort into, so yeah, thanks, I blew my fucking audition

America: Mam’ll chase him away before you & she’s not trying to!

America: fucking do something

America: she’s not gonna show up to opening night, realise you’re not the star now that he’s the centre of her universe & pack his bags for him

China: Excuse me

China: What the fuck are you doing and how much is it not working

China: You aren’t even there half the time, don’t lecture me

America: It doesn’t work coming from me, she didn’t give a fuck if I was happy or not before

America: you’re her favourite

China: Lucky me

America: You wanna go back to how it used to be, you can’t have that many negative experiences of having her wrapped around your little finger

China: Memories explains it all

China: It doesn’t make her any more dependable

America: I’m depending on you

China: I know

America: I don’t want to rush things with Sean & make it all intense cos Gaz is making us homeless

America: it’s supposed to be fun

China: Spare me the teen angst, please

China: I do not give a fuck about him

America: I’m trying to spare myself it first

China: Just cool it a little

America: & stay at nans every night? 🥱

China: 🙄

America: Count the candles on my 🎂 guarantee you there’ll be, like, 9, that’s how old she thinks I am

China: You want me to say she’s dead off? 🤷‍♀️

America: 🖕

China: Anyway

China: Your boyf is so 😬

China: thank GOD he’s not in the play

America: He’s in charge of the lights, you should be nicer to him

China: 😂 yeah i’m not worried

China: I have like one decent sized scene anyway

America: Until you seduce Mr Mullan anywayyy

China: Even if he wasn’t gay

China: disgusting

America: 😂

China: That’s so twisted

China: Lucie would

China: She fancied that student teacher last year, such a cliche

America: He really did look about 9

America: what.a.waste.

China: He did not, he was rough as

China: Deffo mature student

America: which of your friends did you have staring at him close up enough to judge his pores?

China: Just said didn’t I

America: You & Lucie never were

China: Yeah we were

China: that’s why I hate her so much now

China: don’t you remember

America: 🙄

America: spare me your teen angst, if she was any kind of friend she’d have some loyalty to you & the shit lads you like

China: She fucked up way before boys

China: I guess you were a baby, idk

China: I got to be Mary and she pushed me off stage

China: Jealous cow, always has been

America: I remember her 😡😭 when they wouldn’t let her keep the doll

America: she went redder than daddy Gaz

America: but now I wanna swap that early memory for one of you hitting the ground 🌠💥

China: Fuck you 😂

China: I ended up getting in trouble then ‘cos I got up and smacked her

China: She’s always less of a pushover when a bloke’s about

China: Ironically

America: maybe I’ll buy her friendship with one of my old dolls, invite her for a sleepover, see if Mam learns anything

America: & it’ll make the play more fun for you again if she decides to get up to her old tricks & shove me off stage

China: It’d add some realism to this farce

America: You’ll get the lead in the end of the year play when Gary’s gone

China: Yeah I will

America: Just be a better loser than Lucie until then

China: Like I’m going to make that much of a scene

America: you’ve got no reason to be a jealous cow of Libi, like I said when you started bitching, so yeah, it’d be dumb

China: Tell her that

China: not me walking around like I’m God’s gift

America: She’s not the new you, if she was that committed to full-time acting she’d be moving to LA

China: She wishes

America: to be behind the camera

China: Sure

America: We’re back where we started

China: 👋 is fine

America: see you at nans

China: yeah

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Why don’t you like Only Us?

lmao Only Us exasperates me on like several levels at once......

i mean there’s plenty of stuff in deh that i’m just like. “i don’t particularly feel the need to experience this again” like, naturally i care most about the jared and alana content, so already a song with neither of them in it is at a disadvantage with me, which is yeah most of the songs but that’s deh canon for you. my favorite parts are the non-hansen non-murphy characters!! epic for me

meanwhile from like a Story standpoint the writing for zoe and evan’s relationship is like, baffling lmao, and i think both Love Songs (if i could tell her & only us) exemplify how it is a mess.......like, why does “if i could tell her” Not tell us why evan likes zoe???? it’d be great if we could find out, since we already have found out he’s never talked to her. is it just that she Seems Nice. b/c like, sure, except that here we have a whole song to explain to us in greater detail why evan is so set on being in love with zoe and pinning all his hopes on her, but he just kind of lists off random surface-level stuff which doesn’t actually tell us anything either about her or, you know, Why Evan Likes Her? we’re just skipping to like, “oh see he Pays Attention, that proves he likes her” like okay whatever but WHY lmfao please......and yknow not to mention that this is all stuff that we can understand as both “something evan noticed about zoe b/c of crushing on her” and “something zoe might think was an observation coming from her brother” like.......bit underwhelming here, and really the most interesting Interaction zoe and evan have is where zoe says the wild shit about how evan is a Fool to want to be financially secure and evan is “rude” in response and she’s like yeah you don’t have to be polite all the time, and then this potential avenue of connection of them both feeling Obligated to Act Nice is pretty much just dropped and their relationship just becomes based on “you’re nice” again and like, is Nothing lmao.........why

and slam dunking on “if i could tell her” also there b/c Only Us is similar in that like, oh here’s the other Love Song but now it’s zoe’s turn to tell us why she likes evan!!!!! except she pointedly Does Not like *why* are either of you At All invested in this relationship lmaooo i s2g........like, just writing in “wow i like you so much” is not really compelling and like. i would be fine with this just being some nice, enjoyable high school dating experience where they Don’t really have any big reason to be together beyond “well, you’re pretty nice,” except there’s the problems that a) between So Much Time and focus being put into this Relationship, and zoe’s character pretty much becoming “evan’s nice gf” for all of act 2 and not much else about any other aspect of her experience, and the fact that the whole finale to resolve the show and its themes (?? what are those) and evan’s arc (?? what is that) is zoe Forgiving him and saying “Everyone Needed [what he did] For Something” like....did they??? did You???? did jared, did alana.........and also then telling us that she wishes she could’ve dated evan still if things had been normal like???? whyyyyyyyyyyyyy. and why would zoe feel the need to tell him this. seems 2 be justifying evan’s crush and pinning-of-hopes re: her, and by extension justifying this whole Relationship being given soooo much focus b/c even if there’s meant to be some Ambiguity in what we, the audience, might be intended to take away from it, like, clearly this relationship is justified as being Vital and the show treating it as such. which wouldn’t quite fit if it Was just like “oh shrug yeah i mean dating you was alright but nbd” like, it Must be meant to be some whole ~signficant connection~ between them. buuut there’s no actual sign of that lol. and the other problem is b) it also can’t just be a Fun, Casual High School Romance b/c at no point do they really seem to enjoy being together lmao or comfortable in each other’s presence. even their Joking Around for 2 seconds at the start of the “only us” scene feels to me more like nervous joking to cut the tension lmao...

like it does not count to have evan be like “i like zoe” and never actually give us reason why and have zoe take the other love song like “i like you also” but not tell us Why and expect us to like, just take a wild guess at the Supposed Depth of this relationship and what constitutes it or be at all invested. and i mean, evan’s holding zoe at arm’s length b/c there’s this inherent amount of lying he has to do constantly, and why would zoe be like “wow this relationship is great, i’m getting so much out of it” like, have they had conversations?? have they Enjoyed being in each other’s presence and like had genuine fun Being Themselves??? “only us” really does just feel like this cop out both in terms of Why zoe likes him and Why zoe feels like this relationship *isn’t* completely entangled with evan’s supposed relationship with connor. in that it explains neither, just has the character Say that is how she feels. like, we have ALL of evan’s interactions with zoe being dependent on connor, and the whole Initial love song is zoe paying attention b/c Supposedly evan is telling her stuff about what connor thought about her, and then zoe deciding she Does want to kiss evan actually is via disappear and ywbf and everyone’s reaction to evan’s speech supposedly about connor and her dad acquiescing to the fact he has emotions about his dead son thanks to everyone’s reaction to evan’s speech / tcp........like, this relationship is clearly contingent on stuff re: connor, and zoe apparently changing her mind and wanting to be with him is Because of everything re: connor, but then like, just b/c she says in Only Us that she Doesn’t want it all to be about connor doesn’t change all of that......like, yeah, it can be true that she wants this relationship to be separate from anything re: connor, but just having her Say That does nothing to convince me that oh yeah they have this whole Romance that really *is* separate from connor, like?? where??? we haven’t seen it. and when zoe says at the end that she wishes she could’ve dated evan minus [everything that actually happened], again: why!!!!! what *was* your Relationship-Minus-Connor. here it Supposedly is in “only us,” except that the tl;dr of it is just them insisting they totally have a relationship which involves Them and Nothing Else and i do not buy it just b/c they’re saying it??? i mean, for a start, they’re just Hypothesizing it. “what if it’s us & only us” etc etc “we could Try that” like, fuck around and find out, pretty literally i guess??? lmfaoo god.........

like, there’s some space between “hey maybe the Entire Solution to your being Anxious about this relationship isn’t a handy list of things i like about you” and “i shouldn’t tell you anything i like about you” like, sure there’s something that maybe works in like, why don’t you just Assume i like you instead of assuming i Don’t until Proven Otherwise, but again she can get that across And tell him (and like, more importantly, us the audience) why she likes him......and she can give some of those reasons why she likes him Without it being just a list of traits or things she’s noticed a la “if i could tell her” lmao like, describe him broadly!!! talk about One Nice Experience you shared!!!! we have noooo info about why evan likes zoe or why zoe likes evan. we just know that they’re Nice Teens (or teens who feel obligated to act nice all the time) and they are saying “I Like You” to each other. why does this relationship feel so necessary and Good to zoe even after she found out he was lying, and was she having such a great time beforehand??? you can find lots of nice boys you can kiss if that’s what you’re after, like, neither love song tells us Anything about why this particular relationship is so important and good or like, has any substance at all

and additionally you Know i’m your one-stop shop for Hot Takes About Any Number Of Concepts Re: Romance(tm) Which I Think Are Bullshit Slash Hate lmfao and one of those is tying whatever notion of the Ideal Romantic Relationship to that like, isolating the partners, like oh they’re your whole world now and the relationship’s defined by the fact that you don’t need about anybody or anything else and/or don’t care about anything/anyone else even nearly as much and wouldn’t it be Great if nothing else existed but you and your partner and this relationship........like sure it’s one thing for evan and zoe to be like “hey epic some Alone Time where larry isn’t trying to share metaphors about sports equipment” or whatever. but like, okay sure @ the start of things where the focus is more on like “hmm weird that everything about our relationship is so tied to connor, what if we just sort of say it’s starting for real Now unrelated to all that, even though we even have to talk about it to do so” but then you get towards the end and oh we also want the whole world to be irrelevant to us. and absolutely everything except each other / It Is Only Us(tm) like.........again sure if you look at this Immediate Moment where they wanna make out and fade to black, whatever. but this moment is also supposed to be this second start to the relationship, at least sorta reestablishing it, so natch it’s sort of like....about More than this particular moment. the zoevan brand ethos is This??? where your relationship is defined by like, needing or Wanting to be [just the two of you] like, well it can’t always be, so what are you gonna do about that?? and if your Best Times Together in that ideal state of isolation is like, hey now let’s make out, okay, again there are many decently nice people out there to kiss

and there sure seems to be Some awareness that this isn’t ideal thanks to how the immediate next scene is alana going like “um what the fuck, evan” and evan taking out the stress of Having Problems on jared...........aaaand yet i’m not so sure this is like, “oh, the Only Us brand of approach of just wanting and trying to ignore The Rest Of The World wasn’t so ideal after all” but rather just like. Wow How Tragic that they couldn’t truly keep the rest of the world at bay and now reality is intruding on their perfect relationship :( which would suuuure seem to fit with the mystifying sentiment zoe expresses in the finale of like, oh i wish i could’ve dated you Normally w/o [how the entire course of their relationship played out] like. oh Only Us really WAS ideal, that’s the epitome of / the Core of all the great parts of their relationship which was obviously great, and if only everything re: tcp and connor wasn’t the way that it was, they would’ve just been able to forget obligations w/o someone being like “the hell” and hold hands and kiss without people talking about it or anyone feeling bitterly rejected........like, idk, would they Really have dated if the entire plot hadn’t happened as it did??? evan was never talking to zoe, and we don’t know why he liked her so much in the first place, and apparently zoe’s perception of evan was “sort of a loser” like, okay. and when they Are together thanks to tcp-related stuff, we get no more information about why they might like each other. that one potentially engaging thread of “we both feel obligated to put on these fronts of Constant Niceness” existed for like 3 seconds and then they just start being constantly nice around each other, great lol. like again, this doesn’t seem so much of like “oh, these teens just having a chill time dating maybe have this simplistic / offbase ideas about relationships” as much as like the show justifies Only Us and all the sentiments therein.........like yeah wow if Only it could’ve been only them and the rest of the world could’ve stayed out of it!!! everything would’ve been perfect!! b/c we tell you so

not to mention all the like Official covers of Only Us which areout of the specific context in which it’s placed in the show, which sure only emphasizes like “hey these sentiments can be and should be taken straightforwardly” and i’m like, get tf away from me with this lmfao i am So uninterested. a romantic relationship should do the Opposite of shrink / restrict your world or suddenly make all other relationships less important, much less like, require those things, and also the nuclear family model is a scam pushed by capitalism to cut off people’s support networks / isolate them lmao But Really It Is, social isolation is Not romantic or anything else that is ever positive. and it’d be Whatever if it truly was applied to that very specific moment of “boy it sure is Only Us in this room, :eyes emoji:” buuut it’s not, and it’d be Whatever if evan and zoe’s relationship was Meant to be sort of a misguided mess all around lmao Or just more superficial and casually enjoyable than meant as anything ~deep and Real(tm)~ buuuut it is not........i think canon does sure allow for the fact that things are messy for sure but i think it also definitely wants you to think that like. oh this Relationship was truly great and things were all good in its Core (jk, what core), it’s just that tragically all those complications with connor / tcp got too in the way........yet it was so Essential and ultimately positive that this relationship happen for both of us...........like, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lmaoooooo @ deh WHAT are your themes, What are either of these character’s arcs meant to be!!!!!!! idk zoe and evan's relationship more felt bizarrely like these two teens were Settling for white picket fence ideals of “well you’re nice and i’m nice and we could kind of tensely continue to be nice indefinitely” like, do you guys even like each other that much, do you Know each other at all, do either of you truly Enjoy being in this relationship??? and then meanwhile you get all the bizarreness re: larry and cynthia’s relationship and how it doesn’t actually improve but uhhh they’re going on dates and they’re not divorced so hey, i’m sure that’s good, you definitely helped them through Mystery Reasons...........and idk it seems like the idea of the Journey that zoe takes is that like, oh it’s Bad that this nice girl has to be mad, somehow dating evan will fix that and she won’t be mad, since being mad can never be a good thing, and Not being mad is always an improvement. like, why is she this cool with evan in the finale. why does she want to tell him she (and everyone) Needed what happened and that she wishes she could date him. deh is of the Mystery genre actually, and so much of it remains unsolved

also Only Us just gets fairly boring like 3 listens in i think. like can we literally pick up the pace a little. up the tempo. get it over with faster. i don’t even know at this point b/c i just choose not to listen to it ever lmfao every time the deh twitter tries to tell me about a cover it’s transphobic b/c i hate it. but i’d put up with it if i didn’t hate the ideas in it meant as ~romance~ and if any of this was tempered by evan and zoe’s relationship being written better and/or Not trying to be wrangled as like, “This Is Good Actually even if some parts aren’t perfect, the point is that evan was right to pin all his hopes on zoe, who’s needed in this show to validate his existence in the finale” like. what is this. and again, capitalism is bad and the nuclear family is Not the base unit of society, and what’s the deal with deh being like “well, as long as larry and cynthia don’t get divorced, right???? we don’t need to know that their relationship actually improved and that cynthia’s at all happier / feels like she has more of an identity or that larry has more fundamental respect for cynthia or thinks he’s not Automatically / Always Right just b/c his life has been fine.....they’re going on dates and aren’t divorced so that’s their Improved Ending!!” like, what’s up with that, right. the relationships that matter are Familial ones and dating the nice girl who has a juxtaposable family, and the other relationships, i.e. with jared and with alana, can evaporate into the ether and maybe get damnatio memoriae’d for as much as their existence plays into the finale. disappear.mp3. i have absolutely zero motivation to experience Only Us again ever lmao and in fact i guess i have negative motivation b/c i Want to avoid it and will take active steps in the sense of like “oh i’m watching deh? let me just skip past all these parts i don’t need to see again, including only us” like. i’m good

tl;dr  it annoys me & i do not think it works from Any structural standpoint

[skullsnsunbeams]

Please enjoy the first part of my commentary of Outer Banks. I'm going to post eps. 6 through 10 in a second post so as to keep within the text limit. Disclaimer: I started this show because I wanted to see what all the hype was; I won't lie, I thought it was dumb and cliche throughout most of it. However, since I've finished I can safely say that I NEED A SECOND SEASON BC HOLY FUCK BRO. Don't come at me for MY OPINIONS, & also, most of what I say is in the spur of the moment. If you wanna come talk to me about the show I will GLADLY DO SO

Ep 1:

• Ragtag group of friends, including a girl that the 3 other guys wanna bang, and she's also a rich girl but she "doesn't fit in" with that crowd so she hangs with the down and out guys

• "Kid from the wrong side of the tracks falls for rich girl"

• A 27 year old playing a teenager, the usual

• One of the main guys in this is HOT

• In a basic white dude way

• He's the asshole bad boy of the show and I want him to BRB THERE'S A FIGHT

• I bet he's a genuine good guy tho

• HE'S A DUMBASS SO NOW I'M IN LOVE

• ADINA PORTER

• The main protagonist looks like james from BTR

• His face is too small for his head

• His best friend (JJ?) moaned about 20 minutes in and I haven't been the same since

• I have to watch ep 2 to decide if I'm gonna genuinely enjoy this or hate watch

Ep. 2

• I'm getting Flight 29 Down vibes

• The narration is kinda, too much? Like if I need to be guided by it, that means the writers didn't do such a good job

• "wHaT dO yOu KnOw AbOuT tHe CoMpAsS!?"

• This Sarah chick is fucking annoying

• Annoying rich bitch wants attention and she's fucking so fucking CLICHE

• This little sister is FUCKING AGGRAVATING

• We got our sleezy bad guys, ofc

• "Ratter" ooof course that's his name

• THEY'RE STEALING SHIT

• HE JUST KILLED A CHICKEN

• I'm literally crying right now AHAHAHAH fuck

• Sarah's douche bf has HIGHLIGHTS

• His name is Topper which I ironic bc he's def a bottom

• SO FUCKING CLICHE AND I HATE IT SO MUCH AND I'M SO ANGRY ABOUT IT???

• THIS KID HAS A HACKEY SACK WHAT KINDA 2000s MOVIE IS THIS

• Why is this so dramatic

• Like for whaaaaat

• There was ONE kiss and now I wanna make out with someone wtf quarantine is killing me

• John B. is growing on me

• Curse me being for a White Man's Whore

• Oh no Ward is HOT

• Please let him turn out to be a decent man bc I don't trust rich white men as far as I can throw em

• John B runs weird????

• OHP THERE'S OUR BADDIES

• Cue Poppy's Voicemail

• My mom just came in and asked me to tone it down but I told her it's not in my nature and she said " *sigh* I know"

• FUCK THE POLICE

• don't give it to her John B

• ACAB

• I knew he wouldn't be able to give it up, we wouldn't have a show then!

• "Back in the friend zone" I'm hollering

• A snake!

• "Stop barking at the snakes" JJ IS SO DUMB

• And now Kie is going into the grave

Ep. 3

• There would be spiders everywhere realistically

• THESE DUDES ARE EVERYWHERE BRO

• Ah it's just grave diggers

• JJ. Is so. Dumb.

• Fuck bro I'm cryin

• Pope is an angel

• Sarah needs to shut up

• Her sister also needs to shut up

• TO THE BIG KAHUNA

• Is JJ wearing a shark tooth necklace

• ONLY 900 FEET

• Dumb idiot bitch is vomiting too calmly

• This kid, Rafe? Annoying and useless

• Sarah's brother???

• HE BOUGHT A MOTORCYCLE WITH THE GENERATOR MONEY WHAT A PRIVILEGED CUNT

• He's a drug dealer, ofc he is

• ANOTHER CLICHE

• Creepy security guard. Wonderful.

• Always gotta help the young pretty girl

• JJ lying about being abused, or is he really? Either way it's lowkey smart

• HE'S LYING. HIS FAKE CRYING? BELIEVABLE. KUDOS TO YOU, JJ

• That is a human hand

• They're gonna get hurt lmao

• Yayo? Tf is yayo? Some slang for coke?

• I googled it, it's Spanish slang for cocaine lmaoooo I'm dumb

• TOPPER SAID I LOVE YOU AND SARAH DIDN'T SAY IT BACK

• Mmmmmm love when guys get MAD because she took back her yes!!!

• "Tastes like bananas"

• I don't like this kid but I feel bad that he was pressured into this

• POPE LIKES KIE

• Dead bodies oh yeah

• AND THE THUNDER ROLLS

• Ofc Rafe is causing problems

• I think Topper isn't so bad and may just be a product of his environment

• Nevermind FUCK HIM FOR HURTING POPE

• Those surfing shots are cool

• Little fishies

• Pope is so cute and adorable

• THAT'S A BIG STORM

• Uh uh, no thank you

• They're gonna lose the camera

• Do you ever have anxiety

• Oh shiiiit there she is

Ep. 4

• John B has pretty freckles

• "On what grounds?" "On solid grounds, on holy grounds" (ON THE GROUNDS OF BROOKLYN, YOUR HONOR)

• Wait how old is he, even?

• HE DO BE RUNNIN

• Poor Jorge

• That was a very fake jump

• "That's not ideal" he's such a goob

• "Why is this my fault?" "Because it usually is." Oof

• Rafe just said Pope needs to take some personal responsibility. IS HE LISTENING TO HIMSELF? THE IRONY

• This bitch.....is putting rubbing alcohol on the wound? Not peroxide?

• He slapped her hand I'm crying

• I'm sorry but bitches need to mind their business

• I S2G IF THEY HURT POPE I WILL END THEM

• This is so messy

• Why did I think she was gonna flash the guy

• Rafe def likes Kie

• "It might go down tonight" I love this over dramatic shit

• Ward was poor once too, wah wah

• John B is going crazy

• Well the sharks didn't do shit

• Ofc they're going shopping

• "I'll sugar mama you"

• This is actually funny, but I can feel the tension

• "You almost killed him HAHAHAHAH" shut the fuck up you pussy bitch

• Aw he shook the librarian's hand what a good bub

• Of course the stupid rich mom wants to press charges

• FUCK THIS IS BULLSHIT

• JJ I LOVE YOU

• YOU'RE DUMB BUT I LOVE YOU

Ep. 5

• So there was a kiss. Nice.

• JJ's dad is gonna beat his ass and Susan is gonna feel bad

• YUP THERE IT IS. THAT'S A LOT OF BLOOD.

• I wanna hug JJ so bad

• Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

• DIRTY COPS

• AW THAT HUG, THAT SMOOCH. I LOVE JJ AND POPE

• I hope Rafe d*es

• The dude who plays Topper is a good actor

• JJ IS SO DUMB I LOVE HIM

• Denmark Tanny was a G

• John B do B lyin

• Ward knows, ofc he fucking knows

• A SAFE BEHIND THE PAINTING

• OH MY GOD WARD WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED THOSE GUYS

• ahhhh drinking and driving love it

• Topper is about to do some moronic shit

• She's not there, she did the pillows under the covers trick

• OH NO IT'S HER SISTER

• "I'm not a jealous guy" sure

• He's spilling his heart out rn

• HE'S LYING TO KIE'S FACE

• Ofc Wheezie snitched, again

• Topper looks like he's gonna murder someone

• BRO HE JUST FELL????

• Did your "short fuse" make you murder those dudes?

• He's gonna be a KOOK

• UH UH, WARD IS SUS

[canonicallyanxious]

How did we get so much content yesterday but am still in so much pain I hate itttt. Ugh between nora worrying he would start seeing other people (which lbr isn't gonna happen anytime soon because he is still so lovesick) and josh going all "do you think nora and constantin are starting something again?" I've just about HAD IT!!! FIX THIS @ THE WRITERS!!! Don't even get me started about the text between the two of them!! I screamed when I saw it was between the two of them and depended on Google translate to get the gist of what they were saying because I was impatient and the sound I let out at seeing OUR ROOF!!!! He was clearly trying to play it cool but I see you josh taking time to respond to her and also how he did not answer her first how are you question. He clearly took yara's advice but probably could not follow through with actually asking what he wants to know but it's a step. A baby step but still a step.

I love Yara (hello druck pls unlock her instagram) and her and josh's friendship!!! I'm so glad there was no love triangle nonsense and we get such a healthy male-female friendship and there was no unnecessary jealousy even tho I saw fans at the beginning was convinced he was dating her at first and was cheating with nora -.- even though we had ZERO reason to believe this hmmmm

If we're seriously not getting anything else but longing looks before Friday I am seriously going to lose my mind but please I need them to go back to their roof :'( and talk and figure it out I am not giving up on my crack theory cmon druck don't disappoint me!!!!! We deserve this after the pain we've been in the last few weeks!!!!

Also i realised I never did mention I was the anon but yes hello it was me though you could probably tell from the ask

hey so how are we feeling after today’s clip bc i am losing my whole ass mind skdjnfksdjfbkdbfjhsdbfksdjnfkjsdnfkjsdfsd

druck i s2g if we don’t get one more scene bw josh and nora on the rooftop i will TAKE TO THE STREETS you can’T LEAVE IT LIKE THIS i’M DISTRESSED like nora and josh knowing that the other person can’t help the way that they feel and there’s nothing they can do about things being so awkward and sad i’m really upset :’[[[[[[[[[[

anyway wrt Yara remember when there was a solid like week or two after mystery guy was revealed to be josh that people still kept speculating he and yara were ~secretly together~ even though he TOLD us with his own words they were just friends anyway i am vindictively pleased now that josh has been canonically established to be 1. a very honest man and 2. completely head over heels for nora [but also really fucking sad about it jesus] also when nora and yara met after nora and josh started dating and yara was like “now he can stop whining my ear off” or whatever CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE how much pining lovesick bullshit she had to put up with before then like josh is like “okay okay this is not a drill i need to figure out the perfect romantic way to introduce myself” and yara is like “you could just tell her it’s you” and he’s like “NO I GOT IT I will hide on a rooftop and jump down behind her to scare the living daylights out of her NAILED IT” and yara has to suppress a scream

in conclusion: i love my kids and love is a fucking asshole