#i say certain ones bc it's like.... characters where they are called their given names by other characters i'm fine w it

[monstrsball]

i am, perhaps unreasonably, bothered by people using given names for certain haikyuu characters. normal girl behavior.

[streaminn]

tell more about this new streamer au u've mentioned bc im very interested

So it starts with an game

You can vc and shit this game too and it was very very popular. You could choose whether to be a normie or an outcast, there were several jobs that one can take and quests with challenges.

Overall a really fun game bc you can either play with friends and build a land with them or play solo and try to complete everything

Think of uh, genshin! But you can customize and level up your character + it being constantly multi-player unless you go to your own private land that you can buy or get from quests

you can also unlock elusive powers as an outcast if you complete certain quests as well.

It was called, Jericho Online bc I can't think of a better name rn 😅

So it starts with Pugsley who starts badgering to thirteen year old Wednesday to join him in playing the game

Wednesday joins begrudingly, tired of all his incessant whining and also because the words of player killing caught her attention

Enid, whos been playing with pugsley is interested immedietely when the two log in. Going !? And circling the newcomer

Wednesday immedietely plays chase and that's the start of a new friendship, with Enid going !?!!!! And Wednesday pulling out her starter knife bc she's supposed to kill this monster

Enid's character is obviously a werewolf, one of the most famous race type in Jericho but there's a catch

Due to high demand, the devs has given a roll of chance to anyone who plays this race. Bc of this you could be an alpha, beta or cursed

Alpha's usually have a better chance to land a critical hit (aka better crit rate in their base form)

Beta is normal, your stats don't change.

Cursed are left unable to shift, which is an ability that all werewolves have where their crit dmg and crit rate is multiplied by two during full moons (which actually follows the irl moon cycle and there are usually combat events/bosses around then who drop really good loot)

This ability is really really good when you have the right artifacts and is part of the reason why so much people choose werewolves

Enid unfortunately, is a cursed and so she sulks with her amazing artifacts with the knowledge that it could be better if she just shifts

Continuing! Wednesday chose to be a psychic and ends up with the sub ability to summon ink creatures at her will. Aka be a beast tamer of some sort

The catch is, she has to kill the creature and subdue it first before she can acquire them into her slots. She is only allowed five creatures in battle so she has to choose carefully aswell

Being a beast tamer is pretty fun but it's lowkey like playing Pokémon so not alot of people liked to use it

Anyways abilities over

Wenclair plus pugsley go have fun, they start raiding dungeons, doing quests together until pugsley drops out from uninterest like a few months in

Enid understands, Wednesday doesn't care and so Wenclair continue their journey of beating absolute ass in this game because wednesday is competitive and Enid is happy to be there

They grind for the absolute best of artifacts and spend so much time on better weapons, it's almost like they're addicted

And honestly? Wednesday was having fun. There was a joy in being able to calculate how well you can do if you wear this goblet that raises your elemental dmg or if you lvl up this skill to a certain lvl you can beat absolutely everyone

(and maybe, planting lil carrots infront of Enid's house isnt so bad)

Enid while competitive, was having fun decorating her lil land far from Jericho. It was like a lil hobbit hole, with greens and vines and dim lighting because wednesday can never stand the bright lights that were originally hung up and vehemently refused to visit if they were there

"you're like a vampire!" Enid says in the in game comm

Wednesday tsks "a vampire who isn't afraid to pk you, Sinclair."

"you're so mean Willa," sinclair, Enid's username, whines.

Willa, Wednesday's own in game username, just hurls her dagger at the sulking blond.

"Wha- HEY!"

So they play and play and omy?

They get married?

Interesting, so it seems that in the second year anniversary of Jericho (when Wenclair are fourteen) the devs decided to have a lil romance for the lonely people and give the ability to marry

Why are Wenclair married? Well, obviously for the benefits. You get 3x the xp when doing quests, challenges and missions together, not to mention that the probability of getting better artifacts and quality quests skyrocket by 5 percent

Like sure you have to share land and divorcing means losing half your gold but it's fine!!

It's with the status of married does Wenclair stumble across a secret quest

The tale of Crackstone

By the third year (Wenclair are now 15) of playing and finishing of the tale, Enid's status as cursed shifts to bludhound.

They celebrate, theyre having fun and theyre practically a married couple. Wednesday insists to go to a dungeon and Enid wants to do a world quest instead

The two settle these disputes with any challenges. They're kids, theyre having fun and if Wednesday looks forward to spending time with Sinclair so much that she bought a pc for herself then that's for her to know.

It's been three years and theyre practically inseparable! The two playing everyday just to spend as much as time together

Until Enid mentions that she won't be so active in a few days.

Why? Willa asks in chat. Are you getting kidnapped?

Course not!! Sinclair replies. Why do you always think I'm being kidnaped??

^n E ways imma be movin so I'll be bz :( can't play much bc we Goin out a state

Wednesday pauses then she squints, there's a feeling in her gut.

Ok, is willa's simple answer. Get online when you come back, we still need to investigate Crackstone's crypt.

Kk! Sinclair cheerily replies. Bye bye Willa, cya in a few dayyysssss

Sinclair has logged out the world.

Wednesday tilts her head a tad and there's a crease on her brow as she sits in her chair. She continues playing, making sure to check over the crops one more time before turning in for the night.

Crackstone's crypt is left uninvestigated for years

Sinclair inbox: 99+ unread messages!

[ravenwolfie97]

okay so initial thoughts on honkai star rail after i played like half of the tutorial bit this morning before work

first off, for the record, i have not played or heard much of anything about honkai impact 3rd and i have only played genshin impact pretty much since launch so my expectations were "genshin but sci-fi fantasy" but i can say that's not quite what i got (here’s a read more if you don’t care lol)

- immediately i notice that the graphics fidelity is gorgeous, very sleek and clean - it startled me a bit but also made me happy that the lip flaps are synced to the english dub! it seemed to flow really well even with the expression changes. the dialogue system doesn't seem all too different from genshin or. any other system like that. but it's got a pretty nice polish on the transitions between different states - the animation in the cutscenes and battles are really good, clearly they had a real talented team working on them. the characters feel so bouncy and expressive and it is pretty darn satisfying - the UI and interactive language is pretty much exactly the same as genshin with a sci-fi coat of paint. that's not a bad thing necessarily but like. it's pretty obvious - so the way combat and elemental powers work is very different from genshin, which frankly i should have expected, given this is a turn-based rpg. and i shouldn't have too much trouble with it, since turn-based rpgs are kind of a staple in my game roster, but for some reason i had trouble connecting with it. obviously finishing the tutorial would help, but it didn't feel as intuitive as i expected elements are presented in more of a traditional jrpg type of way where there are clear weaknesses you can exploit on enemies if you attack with a certain element. idk if i fully mean this but i think it kind of ruins part of the fun of discovering an enemy's weakness when the game itself just. tells you what it is off the bat also the types are weird in that they have pretty static effects in terms of what they do, the variability in moves is probably also explained further in character profiles but i haven't found how to look at that yet bkjljl - i'm fascinated by the ideas of Quantum and Imaginary types. what does that even mean. how do those manifest - i think it was a bit of a bold move to start the game off with two random characters talking about the world as if things are normal and known, and then having them influence your player character into. being in the plot not that i didn't like kafka and silver wolf. in fact i love both of them a lot. but i also had no context and had no goddamn idea what was going on so i was thrown pretty off-guard first thing which isn't exactly the greatest first impression lol - why is she named March 7th. does anyone know. is there a joke lost in translation or is it because she's like a pseudo-mascot character or. what - speaking of march actually i really want to like her but so far her character reeks of "hi i'm a girl". her skill is called "The Power of Cuteness" and one of her abilities is called "Girl Power" and so far her personality is cute, kind, and kinda stupid. it's a bit much. but she's neat - i have no big opinions on dan heng except he's neat and people keep saying he's the kazuha of star rail bc windy maple leaf boys but they're wrong bc dan heng has a stabby not a slicey and he can only hit one person at a time while kazoo thrives on the multi-hit AoE damage - i do love that the MC's weapon is just. a future baseball bat. that they get to smack people really hard with. no element, just big smack - oh yeah hyv loves to queerbait i guess cuz that wasn't CPR honey the twitter crowd wasn't kidding - i can’t think of anything else rn cuz it’s past midnight but star rail is neat and i like the little train rabbit dog mascot it’s cute and i wanna get past the tutorial hkjbjk

[faithlesbian]

trans angel thesis post

so me and @titsgirlbuffy​ on our joint watch noticed this line (in my header image!) from btvs s1e7 and immediately thought hehehe well he said he’s not a man, that means He’s Trans. partly due to the existing bank of star trek characters who clearly meant they werent human but just happened to phrase it a certain way -- its great fun to just take these lines out of context and run with them

[ID: angel in a darkly lit scene saying “I can walk like a man, but I’m not one.”]

the thing is tho the further we got the more trans angel material we kept finding. like we weren’t even looking it was just There. so it went from basically a joke to the actual lens through which we’re now watching ats so. here’s the trans angel thesis post i guess!

so obviously this line was intended to mean hes a demon. its from the episode where we first find out hes a vampire, so the writers are clearly using “not a man” to mean “not a human being” as mentioned before. but then there’s the flashbacks in ats s1e15 to when he was alive and definitely human which...

[ID: three screenshots of angel and his father in 1700s dress. his father says “It’s a son I wished for! A man! Instead, God gave me you.” while Angel looks hurt]

i remember another post (which i will try and find and link to) saying that darla was trapped by societal confines of womanhood and she was drawn to angel bc he was being crushed by societal expectations of masculinity -- “being a man” was something he resoundingly failed at in life. crucially also his birth name, Liam, is left off his headstone and no one ever calls him it again. in contrast to spike for example, who still responds to William, Angel seems to consider Liam to effectively be his deadname (which is funny yk given he only used it when he was alive), and both of his chosen names, Angelus and Angel, are much less masculine.

spike regularly refers to himself as a man, he also sometimes acknowledges that he’s not technically a man meaning not human, but for him this is paired with wishing he could be a man (”i know that i’m a monster, but you treat me like a man” btvs s5e22, “to be a kind of man...” s7e22). in every sense masculinity isn’t something that seems to cause him any kind of distress to be associated with, and while he still has a fascinating relationship to gender i think you’d be hard pushed to say he doesn’t identify as male (tho i’d love to hear any takes on that!!).

on the other hand, here we have one of the few times angel willingly refers to himself as a man in btvs s3e10

[ID: two screenshots of angel, crying and facing buffy, saying “It’s not the demon in me that needs killing, Buffy. It’s the man.”]

if there is a part of himself that he sees as a man, its something he associates with guilt, failure and weakness. obviously there’s other layers to this scene but i do think the word choice is interesting!!

and then theres what i consider one of the seminal trans angel episodes, ats s2e6. first of all he admits that he changes his appearance based on how he wants other people to see him, that he’s worried about what they think. the character he’s talking to in these scenes tells him since he doesn’t have an actual reflection, his outward appearance only matters when considering the people around him, and that there’s two versions of him -- “the image you’ve worked so hard to create, and the real you.”

[ID: Angel, looking concerned and saying “Maybe my persona is a little affected”]

his outward - masculine - presentation is something he maintains for the sake of what others think of him, it’s not an authentic expression of who he is (see this post by @buffyology​ on how he literally seems to get his whole wardrobe directly from mens fashion magazines). also in this episode, he refers to the aspects of himself that he’s repressing as “it” -- dehumanising but also degendering the things he doesn’t want to come to the surface

[ID: four screenshots of dialogue between angel and another character out of frame. he asks angel “it?” to which angel responds “the demon.” the other character then says “ah. But the demon is you.” angel says “no”, the other character responds “yes. That’s the thing you’ve spent so much energy trying to conceal.”]

he explicitly labels the things about himself he’s afraid of other people seeing with a genderless pronoun, lumping in the demonic aspects of himself alongside the other things being hidden by his artificial masculine outward presentation. he hates himself for being a vampire, and for having done awful things in the past, but also for failing to live up to the expectations of masculinity that he’s still hollowly trying to perform now as he was when he was alive.

masculinity is tied to humanity which is tied to morality -- he ascribes the bad parts of himself to “the demon” which is also genderless, he equates his failure to be a good person with his failure to be a man. in ats s1e15 his father tells him he’s neither a son nor a man, and later on in the same episode darla tells a freshly turned angelus that he’ll never be able to get his father’s approval and that his defeat will last lifetimes -- he’s still trying to prove himself a man and he’s never going to succeed. in ats s2e5 we get this exchange as darla burns angel with a cross

 [ID: three screenshots of a standoff between angel and darla, in the first two he holds her by the throat while she burns him with a crucifix. she says “See? No matter how good a boy you are... God doesn’t want you.” In the third screenshot she stands apart and says “But I still do.”]

Darla's word choice in this scene also links masculinity to morality and humanity - essentially saying he will never be a good enough person nor perform masculinity convincingly enough to be accepted by anyone but her, because he's a vampire and he can't change this fact of who his is.

but it’s not a moral failing not to want to be a man, and as much as angel tries to hide and repress it it’s still going to come through because it’s just who he is. while trying his best to Look like a man, he’s still finding ways to assert his identity through his choice of name and aversion to gendered language

[ID: two screenshots cropped to just show subtitles - “More than you might think, Mr. Angel.” “Just Angel”]

[ID: two screenshots cropped to just show subtitles - “Yeah, I’m gonna  have to go with Dead Boy on this one.” “Could you not call me that?”] And  then there’s this scene where he’s talking about the differences  between him and Cordelia and like, i get the joke but also. come on. he  cannot commit to calling himself a man without chickening out

[ID: two screenshots dodgily cropped and stitched together to just show subtitles - “Human. Vampire. Woman. Man... pire.”]  admittedly most of these lines have fairly obvious intended meanings and me and @titsgirlbuffy  were likely picking up on the subtext mostly because we were watching  both shows through this lens. it could be argued as a niche reading - up  until ats s3e6 that is, in which there’s a guy called Billy who can  curse men to become fucked up and evil, who tries to curse Angel, only  for him to be immune. A curse. That only affects men. to which he is,  randomly, immune.

[ID: four screenshots cropped to just show subtitles - “[Cordelia] I  don’t get it.” Angel replies “I don’t get it, either.” and Cordelia  continues “I mean, you’re a man, so, why didn’t Billy’s touch affect  you?”]   I cannot stress enough that they genuinely didn’t have a good  reason -- whoever wrote this episode hadn’t come up with a decent  explanation as to why angel was immune to the Curse That Affects Men.  This is not a great episode but I do consider it to be basically canon  confirmation that Angel at the very least isn’t cis.So to  conclude, Angel is nonbinary/transfemme and has been trying and failing  to perform masculinity well enough to hide this since he was alive. He  objects to being called masculine terms and almost never refers to  himself as a man, he changed his name to something more androgynous and  refuses to go by his old name, and he admits to dressing and acting a  certain way to seem more normal and masculine in other people’s eyes. He  associates the parts of himself that he hates, fears, and represses,  with genderlessness. And he is immune to a curse that only affects men.  thank you for reading this long fucking post!

[mashiee]

what's your rei au?

AHAJDD OMFG. OKDY FIRSG OF ALL I LOVE YOH AND TY FOR LEAVING THE ASK. SCEOND O OF ALL

(tw, dark/angst, death, kidnapping, human labor trafficking, extreme mental instability, mental and moral decline, developed delusions, etc)

basically, i took rei and put him in the most horrible situations ever °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

the idea is basically a very dark 'what-if' of if rei had survived

im a whore for plots that have a character survive, but everyone still thinks theyre dead, so thats the route here. rei does survive, but at a great cost, and to the knowledge of no one.

and by great cost i mean, he would have been better off if he had just died. which is why the au had previously been named 'better off dead.' i have since changed the name bc i hated it.

the new au name is pontibus incensis (burned bridges in latin). this is both bc rei's bridges were forcibly burned by volcan and byron (both figuratively and literally in relation to the fire claws) and bc i think being able to say its my pi/π au is really funny.

the whole thought process behind the au stems from the thought that the government wouldnt use their money on ember. they would use something else as a source for its funds. so i basically combined that with wanting rei to be alive and go thru angst.

the story is give or take as goes:

the au starts as soon as rei "dies." ember finds a way to fake his body, etc. rei wakes up in a cell chained to the wall, he doesnt know where he is. eventually he pulled out to some kind of "arena" people are calling "the colosseum"

(i am aware colosseum is the term for the specific famous building, and coliseum is the proper term for any large stadium. the place rei's in being called colosseum as opposed to coliseum is important to later on in the story)

theres a little girl about 8-10 there too. hes given a brief set of rules basically saying he needs to fight to the death within a certain time period. obviously rei is not going to kill a little girl and shes scared shitless so neither of them do anything. theres a warning bell signaling the time is up and the little girl, who has long light pink hair and a blue ribbon in it, is shot and killed. rei attacks the person shooting out of rage and survival and accidentally kills them. rei's allowed to pass bc hes found interesting by the colosseum head(?) and its the first and last time any match in the colosseum ends in a draw. as reis leaving he turns around and sees the girls lifeless body and for a brief moment she looks like remi.

so reis dilemma there is that he just killed someone and the little girl who looks like remi dying. his thoughts spiral from here but theyre cut off. hes later brought out again and fights a guy who comes at him instantly. reis forced to kill him. when rei gets back to his cell he finds the barcode branded on the back of his neck reading 1010 (XX in roman numerals, allude to the X in X-Static). he has the horrifying realization this place has already had at least 1000 prisoners.

this pattern of killing to survive continues. due to the constant stress, reis ability steadily climbs as well as his survival instincts. he develops a literal skill to survive. meanwhile, his mental health and morals are rapidly dropping and becoming tangled and confusing--even incomprehensible. eventually he'll develop the delusion that the little girl actually was remi, and that hes the one who killed her. as its a delusion, the knowledge of remi being 4 yrs younger than him and what she looks like now doesnt matter.

im thinking of giving him psychotic depression in order to explain the delusion, but im unsure. i will need to do more research. i could possibly also give him more delusions, such as hallucinations of his body rotting and the delusion he deserves it, or maybe the hallucination of remis decaying corpse, etc. another symptom of psychotic depression is psychomotor impairment which causes issues with speech and muscle activity, which i may be able to use as well?

(all of that is very surface level research btw, if i got anything wrong or am using the disorder in an inappropriate or disrespectful way please tell me. im very open to criticism and correction)

anyway, rei figures out that hes being used as entertainment for higher ups in the authorities to have monetary gain for ember funding. hes also become the fav of the place bc he just wont die, hes seen as some kind of impossible to kill entity. he gives ember massive monetary gain. he manages to survive for a long time (i think i want the colosseum arc to be maybe 4 months long?) which is unheard of. at most people have only survived for a month.

at the end of the colosseum arc, rei obviously escapes. hes very briefly helped by an oc of mine, who ends up being important later on.

i wont go into detail abt the rest of it unless u want bc this arc is the main point of the au.

something i should mention though that rei only finds out in the next arc is that ember doesnt ever actually kill the vigilantes. theyre always taken to a coliseum. and they end up dying in there. reis the only one whos survived so far.

[lunar-years]

I agree- I don’t think the show is making Jack out to be “the evil lesbian” at all, and honestly anyone who seriously claims that should calm down. LGBT+ characters having flaws, even bad flaws, doesn’t mean they’re evil or that the writers are homophobic, it means they’re characters. JackxKeeley are obviously not going to be long-term for a # of reasons. Like you said, a show doesn’t introduce a long-term couple by having them drunkenly hook up 10 seconds after one of them admits to not being over their ex (and can’t even say his name). Besides, I can’t imagine Brett being ok with ending the show with them still apart lol.

Anyway IMO as a RoyxKeeley shipper, I don’t think Jack was written to be a shit gf that drives Keeley back to Roy. I think it’s kind of the opposite. You could argue that on paper, power imbalance aside, Jack and Keeley make more sense than Roy and Keeley. They’re both similar ages, fun, bi, independent + rich businesswomen, and good communicators. I think Jack’s biggest flaw will be that she’s just not Roy. It was their differences that made Roy and Keeley such a compelling and electric couple. And remember, Keeley doesn’t even know why Roy ended things. I can’t imagine finding out that Roy gave her up bc he thought she would realize that she deserved better would have no impact on her. Obviously Roy’s arc this season has been learning to accept that he’s worthy of good things, and although it’s less clear cut I think Keeley’s arc is similar to the team’s: succeeding takes a lot of trial and error. I think the second half will see her gain confidence as a boss bitch and go after what she wants. And I think part of that will be confronting Roy. Sorry for rambling lol

No worries on the rambling. My entire blog is just me rambling :)

I do understand where queer people who are upset about the direction Jack/Keeley is going and/or who have concerns re: the "evil lesbian" trope are coming from. As I said in my initial post on this, I think it's a complex issue and mileage is going to vary for different people given their own experiences. A lot of wlw representation in media has been god awful, with wlw characters portrayed as horribly toxic or else killed off needlessly. I see where the concerns are rooted and I am always going to be understanding and sympathetic to queer people who just want to see themselves represented in healthy and loving relationship portrayals onscreen.

Is giving Jack unfavorable traits "fuel" for homophobic people? I mean, of course. I have already seen a number of people latching on to the issues with them last episode and using it as justification to immediately call Jack a "creeper" "abuser" and any other number of things that all more or less translate to "I hate Jack and I think Keeley deserves to return to a REAL MAN, Roy Kent, because I am a flaming bigot." However...that doesn't mean the answer is that the show shouldn't give her any unfavorable traits? The unfortunate reality is these people were always going to be homophobic regardless of whether Jack/Keeley break up or are endgame. It is really disgusting behavior to see, obviously, but I think it's important to remember that it is viewers and not the show itself who are demonizing Jack (at least at this point).

My PERSONAL opinion as a bi woman is this: I think it is silly to say that introducing a wlw relationship to the show is only worthwhile if it's perfect and wonderful and ultimately endgame, or that the writers are only allowed to have a "messy" wlw relationship if they also have a second, "perfect" wlw relationship to counterbalance it. As you said: the writers are just writing characters as people. Putting all these restrictions on the stories people want to tell and demanding they fit into certain boxes to be "acceptable" is going to leave us with a lot of really shitty media, at the end of the day.

We do have excellent queer representation on the show this season and it is in the form of three beautiful queer characters: Colin, Trent & Keeley. I think it is a little reductive to say that the show will only pass the "good representation" checkbox if these characters end up in certain relationships. Keeley is an incredible, complex character who has always been bi, will always be bi, and is wonderful bi representation regardless of whether she ends up with Jack, Roy, Jamie or nobody at all.

OKAY xx now on to the other part, Roy/Keeley:

I agree with so much of what you said. Roy/Keeley certainly had their issues (personally I think it goes beyond just "Roy doesn't think he's good enough for her or deserving of love" even though that was clearly component #1 in the break), but their differences definitely balanced in certain ways that made them an electric, compelling couple! I think both of them really needed this season to explore who they are individually and come into themselves a little bit on their own before their relationship would actually work long-term. And I do think there is going to be a reckoning between them where they lay it all out there (and we learn more about their actual break) and they decide how to move forward together, friends or partners or otherwise.

Personally I do think it would be a little rushed to put them back together at the end of this season with only five episodes left, as there are still so many loose threads between them (together as well as within their individual arcs) and only so much screen time. But the writers tend to surprise me, so if they do it, I just hope they do it in a satisfying way :)

[pirunika]

ok. i need to compare Astraeus (Lovestruck) to Blade (WIP - Shepherds of Haven) bc as i was trying to make them on Black Desert Mobile i noticed they r pretty similar in... looks

both black haired / eyed with a sort of cropped hairstyle (one is 5'9 and the other is 6'3" tho)

both swordsmen

both given an east Asian... design. I mean Astraeus downright uses a katana as his main weapon and his theme is cherry flowers (which...i still don't know why as he s a Greek mythological figure but *shrug* im used to it now), Blade less so I suppose, i mean his last name is apparently a Welsh name but its just... here and there you get the sense that's the main inspiration for his culture - food, words, style whatever - which i dont like, tbh, making the emotionless, brutal species Like That but I can head-canon around it all I like its the canon (for now) world-building

this i like :D 1 is from an app that shut down.. like 2 years ago and the other is from a WIP work, not all out yet

both have older brothers, though Astraeus surely suffered more in his hands, having served him for years if not decades and it ends with a death... We dont know what that particular thing gonna go with Blade but I think it wont be that brutal.

Both sort of leaders, Astraeus is to titan army (or whats left of it more like) and Blade to Shepherds militia.

THEIR RELATIONSHIP W THE MC: Astraeus pretty much starts in love with the MC, he's low-key a stalker (i mean high key he did kidnap her...) and they have this... connection. Immediately. With Blade... it's... so not that. It's a slow process. Just as strong but slow and steady against.. whatever the fuck was up with Astraeus at one point (and yall kno he s my #1)

Astraeus is very chaotic, the MC says at one point chaos 'thrives within him' (or around him) he's a titan god after all and Blade is.. once again. Not that. Astraeus wears his heart on his sleeve. That's my favorite thing about him actually, he's one of the closest examples I saw to the male femme fatale idea. He's seductive and emotional and acts according to his heart. Blade falls a bit dull against that because we just have…. too many of the emotionless warrior guys, though I gotta give its due, he does his category well - say.. compared to Adam from Wayhaven Chronicles (and there I do love Ava, I know they are the same person but listen almost no female character is Like That) and you can tell he starts caring for the mc - obviously, which makes him much more appealing then the rest of the so called macho guys.

Astraeus is a poet. Blade points out he likes reading poetry. Does he write? I don't know but its surely not a corner of his personality I feel

They also both like gardening, once again Astraeus is more passionate about it, growing a tree in a land where nothing grows (Tartarus) Blade mentioned it but it's not like.. his thing - so far

Overall this made me realize maybe we don't know Blade well, despite the countless asks n everything or that he needs a certain.. something. Not everyone has to be passionate and emotional of course but like uhm... He's a bit too perfect and bland, WHICH is maybe his flaw I mean other characters do call him boring and dour and again the story is far from over so we'll see!

[quillyfied]

Hellaverse Theories: Helluva Boss S2E2

Welcome to Quilly’s Hellaverse Theories, where I overthink the entire Hellaverse! Given that the word count for the s2e1 post was close to 6k…it is safe to say that the rest of season 2 for Helluva Boss will follow the Hazbin Hotel pattern of being single-episode instead of doubled up. And lol at my past self for thinking these posts wouldn’t be as long, because I forgot that while speculating about Phenomenal Cosmic Plot is fun…interpersonal character stuff is what I really go rabid for. So of course I’m gonna talk about it more. Lol. ANYWAY.

Let’s jump into one of my very favorite episodes, s2e2!

Let’s be honest, folks, I could listen to a weird eldritch astronomy lesson from Stolas any day. The fact that he’s telling it as a bedtime story to Via only makes it that much better—and the fact that teenage Via is SO EXCITED for it is the cherry on top!

…the explosive, explosive cherry. A cherry bomb, you might say.

(Sidenote that every single character doodles on their calendars and it’s cute, okay, it’s so cute and I love it)

Alright, time to get a moment of realness that I really, really need certain fanfic writers to pay more attention to: Stolas really doesn’t care that much about imps. He cares about Blitzo. But look at how he treats the other imps in and out of his employ. He isn’t Stella, isn’t screaming and throwing them around, but in this exact scene, he isn’t being particularly kind, either, and I’d say probably the most outright cruel he’s ever been to an imp: he has the butler squeezed into one hand like he’s a goddamn stress ball (poor Pringles, even if that isn’t your name it is now), and is waving him around as he carries the phone around with him WHEN HE OWNS A DAMN CELLPHONE AND DOESN’T HAVE TO DO IT THIS WAY (unless Stella called first, which is likely).

And in earlier episodes: he dodges Pringles when Stella throws him at Stolas instead of trying to help him out, he constantly overlooks Moxxie and Millie and calls them “you littler ones” or “you little creatures,” and with the exception of his childhood butler, he doesn’t interact with the other imps much unless it’s to ask them something (like to bring him absinthe, and I notice too how the servant he asks isn’t the one who shows up with the bottle and glass and instead looks like he’s being forced into the other imp’s place bc she doesn’t want to deal with Stolas). Just because he isn’t vicious about it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have bigotry. I get the reaction to write him as caring more about imps, I understand the impulse to have him know his servants’ names and converse with them and win their loyalty by being a generally good person to them, but Stolas canonically isn’t there yet. It would be cool if he could get there. But he isn’t. And this is part of the problem that Blitzo has with Stolas and one of the many cracks in their relationship foundation. Which makes me more hopeful that Stolas is going to address this within himself, at least (more so if he gets demoted and stripped of his powers at the end of the second season).

(And sidenote to wonder if the imp/hellhound prejudice baked into the foundations of Hell is ever going to be meaningfully addressed; it would be nice, but this is a raunchy dark comedy, so I doubt any task as complex and grueling as tackling systemic oppression is going to get any nuanced and meaningful attention. Maybe a sugarcoated tied-in-a-bow resolution, maybe just ignored and made better for the characters we care about, but not really fixed. It’s not like the real world is any better at it.)

Alright off my soapbox, now time to enumerate the ways Stolas is being a messy father :P

Hang on have to squeal about the cute little cuff that Pringles has on the spade of his tail. Fancy dude be fancy.

On the one hand, good on Stolas for not shouting at Via, but again, just because he isn’t shouting doesn’t mean he’s being nice. I went off quite a bit in the s2e1 analysis about how Via and Stella’s relationship is an unknown outside of what context we can try and draw from Via’s behavior, but I said something at the very end that I will repeat and then spend this episode reiterating: Via has the very normal and common habit of being mad about one thing and it actually being about her anger or fear over something else. Like this is a thing I think everyone does, but for Via, it’s more common for her episodes to follow that pattern. In Loo Loo Land, she’s upset about her parents’ crumbling marriage and being forced to spend time with her dad’s new sidepiece, but the root of that anger and despair is actually her fear of being left behind by her father; the other two things are manageable once that root is taken care of. We’re seeing something similar here: Octavia is excited to see a meteor shower with Stolas, but his feud with Stella gets in the way and she reacts, angry about the meteor shower and the broken promise (spoiler alert: that isn’t the root of her anger, either, but we’ll get there when we get there).

Even for the meteor shower not being what she’s truly upset about, she is still plenty mad about it, and she should be; Stolas is dropping the ball. Again. The straw that’s breaking her back, so to speak. And Via isn’t a little kid anymore. She’s old enough to act. So she does. Hell yeah, Via. I’m so ready to see how she’s going to be when she’s old enough to be introduced into Goetian society, because I cannot wait to watch her tear down her enemies with verbal precision.

Paused on Blitzo’s calendar and I just have to say, I am disappointed, fandom; there is not NEARLY enough Blitzo drag/cross-dressing material, for how often Blitzo shows up in dresses in canon. Not only has he put a doodle of his own head over Verosika’s on the sexy calendar, but right next to it, pinned to the wall with an arrow, is a doodle of himself in a fancy froofy dress. I need to screencap this and save it for always, excuse me a moment.

While I have the calendar pulled up, though: I notice that the little note that says “Stolas: Full Moon??” isn’t crossed out despite the day passing. That doesn’t mean much, because the only things that are scribbled out are notes for Blitzo to finally talk with Loona, an “I <3 Moxxie” that I really want to know if Blitzo wrote or not, and various fuck days, but. Hmm. Hmmmmm. It’s implied later that Stolas and Blitzo might not have been meeting for the full moon for a couple of months, but it does make me wonder if this episode is the first time they see each other since Ozzie’s. It’s not nearly awkward enough for that, but they do have more pressing matters to deal with, I suppose.

Hang on I have to laugh at Loona throwing hecking SHURIKEN at Blitzo while he tries to give her a little talking-to; she is being very violent, which calls back to her bad behavior in the pilot episode tbh, but. SHURIKEN. WHY??? XD

Moxxie living his best life, tbh.

I constantly forget when watching this episode that Blitzo and Loona are also in the middle of some father-daughter problems, mainly Loona not taking criticism well and Blitzo trying a tough love tactic that…well. They both know it’s completely toothless, because Blitzo loves her way too much (and can’t afford a new secretary are you kidding me) (…YET, Stolas as IMP Secretary for Season Three please), but. Enforcing some boundaries with Loona’s office behavior isn’t exactly a bad thing. Unfortunately, Loona sees any criticism of her behavior as proof that she’s about to get landed back into the shelter and reacts with anger that’s explosive, violent, and very defensive, so the fact that her dad loves her to tiny wibbly pieces doesn’t mean much when five-plus years of adoption as an ADULT isn’t gonna erase the coping mechanisms she learned as a CHILD. But it HAS been enough time for Loona to rely on Blitzo and believe that he’ll be there for her when she needs him, because he’s proven it. So maybe this tough love hits a little harder than Loona wants to admit.

Enter Octavia, doing a very cool ninja routine that really would not work on any other day: the floor layout doesn’t normally put a couch facing its back to the door, and Loona might actually care more about someone sneaking into the office (have she and Via met before this?? I don’t think Loona went with them to Loo Loo Land…yeah this might be their first meeting, and Loona wins some major cool points by not ratting her out. Nice) when she and Blitzo haven’t just had a big fight. The fact that Via finds the book with so little trouble is pretty hilarious, but it’s also so interesting to notice that despite her being so close to adulthood, she really doesn’t seem to know what to do with the grimoire besides make requests of it. Makes sense, her being a cautionary heir instead of a full heir like Stolas, who would have had to study the thing since childhood; also makes sense given the kind of doting father that Stolas has tried to be. He likely didn’t want to force her to study magic if she didn’t want to, or force her into mingling with the rest of the Goetia family, come to think of it. It’s surprising that even Stella doesn’t seem to force that issue, either. But then again, we don’t know for sure; Via not being at her parents’ “not divorced” party might just be because it was an “adult” party and not a “kid” party. Stella declares that she loves throwing parties; maybe she’s thrown plenty and forced Via to go to those. I’m just. So upset that we don’t know what Stella’s parenting is like.

Also what kind of monkey’s paw bullcrap is in that grimoire, that “Take me to see the stars” lands Via in Los Angeles, of all hellholes? And it’s a recurring thing throughout the episode—every time Via asks for help in seeing the stars, it’s always movie stars. Not the meteor shower she’s looking for. Another clue in the ongoing picture of Via being powerful but untrained, woohoo. And for that matter, is Loona using the grimoire just because Blitzo wants to keep her out of harm’s way for missions…or also because none of the rest of IMP can work the book? In which case, how much inherent magical ability does Loona have, or does any Hellborn demon have? Is it the book that’s magical and the wielder that’s inconsequential? Because Asmodean Crystals and a lot of other magical items in Hell seem to just work, no matter who’s wielding them. Is the grimoire the same?

Ah, LA. I wonder if it was Octavia’s teleportation that killed Brennon Ragers (lolololol), or if he was already dead and Octavia just happened to show up where he was? Seems like the portal might have dropped her on top of him, but would that be enough to kill him? Also, notice: Via doesn’t have a human disguise, either. Seems like it might be something that Loona learned from the book, since Stolas can’t make them without it, at which point the next very loud and obvious question is why the rest of IMP doesn’t have them, buuuuuut they are accessing the living world illegally and the ongoing gag of the many ways they try (or, in this episode, don’t try at all) to hide themselves is funny.

OKAY HERE’S THE BIGGEST SCENE TO DATE TO FEED MY “IMP AND STOLAS ARE LEGALLY BONED” THEORY: The human protest in LA. They’re just chanting “protest,” but their signs are very interesting. “Demons walk among us.” “God hates you personally.” “To Hell” with an arrow pointing to whatever building they’re in front of. And the golden statue, which has haunted me for many viewings and which my insane brain has now become convinced is human Vox (I have zero proof; the statue has no identifying features beyond being a smiling man with a top hat, a suit, and a flower in his lapel. It doesn’t even share any traits with Vox whatsoever. It’s just vibes). The building they’re protesting in front of doesn’t seem to have any identifying features outside of some fancy architecture that’s kinda going to pot like the rest of the city around it. But why this tiny scene makes me think it relates to IMP: if DHORKS had so much footage of them and their exploits, it’s not crazy to think that some of that is online and circulating, maybe gathering steam as a weird conspiracy theory movement that just happens to be correct in this case. Human unrest, coupled with actual breach of Hell’s boundaries by angels using human-made technology? Pretty huge strike against IMP (and by association Stolas). And then Via getting spotted all over the place in LA, too (tripping over a second dead body? Poor girl). No camera flashes yet but I’m on the lookout for them now.

And the transition from Via’s panic attack straight into Blitzo’s really makes me want a bonding episode with them even more, thanks Spindlehorse :P and can you IMAGINE, if Blitzo and Stolas haven’t really talked outside of texts since Ozzie’s, THIS being the first call that Stolas gets from him when he’s stressed and in the middle of kicking his soon-to-be-ex-wife out of his house?? Stolas shows some restraint, frankly.

Via once again letting her inexperience get the better of her by going on a celeb-stalking tour, wonderful. But her excitement is so cute. I just wish she was able to be safe and excited with her fully engaged and present father. Just a thought.

Okay, the fact that Loona can not only track the smell of the portal, but knows exactly where in the human world that is?? LOONA YOU HAVE A PAST AND I WANT TO KNOW IT.

Loona and Moxxie’s animosity towards each other is entertaining. The fat jokes are not. Sigh.

Another instance of the background being framed just so in order to give the audience a look at a background detail that’s important: the LA water fliers. Which state that LA water is mostly acid and sewage. Gross. Important, but gross.

Blitzo’s very obviously flustered reaction to seeing human Stolas is interesting…given how canonically gross he finds humans :P apparently not all humans, huh, Blitzo? Exceptions made for ones that you bicker with like an old married couple?

(Stolas. Stolas you have to pay for—Stolas you can’t just steal—STOLAS—)

Also, the fact that LA is one of the few places they can walk around openly as demons and not have it be taken all that seriously is very funny to me. And Moxxie’s insistence on supporting street artists is even better. I also find it interesting that in the same city where some sort of anti-demon-flavored protest is going on, someone else finds Moxxie’s “demon costume” impressive enough to toss him a quarter. And the fact that he appears to be in a demon costume to begin with isn’t questioned Hmm. Hmmmmm.

Also. How interesting that Via pays attention to a particular stop on the bus tour with a father begging his wife and child to stay, only the second they’re gone to start smooching his male lover. How not at all a chilling parallel for Via’s own life. (The difference being that Stolas never once begged Stella to stay as far as we know, but…again, given how Via is upset with her father for also not caring about her mother…I wonder how much Via wishes he would beg them to stay? How much she wishes her parents actually loved each other? I mean, it would make for a better reality than the one she’s living in now where they hate each other’s guts pretty murderously, but…I do have to wonder how common a childlike fantasy that is for a kid whose parents are divorcing, to wish that their parents would just love each other and not have so many things drastically change for them all at once. But again: the root of that upset is the change, the fear of getting lost and forgotten and broken. Once that fear is addressed and assuaged, the separation can often become much easier to bear, especially if it makes both parents happier and more available to their kid. But that’s my outside observation. And my prediction: when Via gets the full picture, she can start to process her parents’ separation much better, and maybe try to reconcile her happy childhood with her horrific present, give it context and understanding. Though. The fact that her mother has tried to kill her father twice now and I suspect her uncle is about to jump on that train ain’t gonna be an easy pill to swallow.)

To the folks who make earnest predictions post-this episode about what Blitzo would look like as human and it isn’t just Brennon Ragers: you’re wrong but that’s okay. The giant ears slay me.

The Elmo head on a dinosaur body is unsettling, though, I’m glad the guy takes it off.

HEY WAIT A FUCKING SECOND. Just paused at exactly the right moment to notice that the guy in a pink shirt next to the Dino-Elmo furry has a tiny little design on his chest that looks an AWFUL LOT like the Voxtek logo. HMMMMM. TINY LITTLE EASTER EGGS. AND THE GUY IN ORANGE KINDA IN THE BACKGROUND BY THE GUY IN PINK DOES TOO. I might need to post a screenshot of this, actually, hang on let me rewind and see how much it’s popping up and I’m not seeing it. Alright, seems to just be those two for now. Which makes my “the golden statue is Vox” theory look a lot less stupid, huh? XD I love that the sign says “Holly’s Wood,” too. One: lol boner joke. Two: reinforcing that the Hellaverse world is just a little left of center of the one we’re living in now. Familiar enough, but different. Which is what makes speculating about the biblical differences in Hazbin Hotel so much fun, too.

I think about that screeched “I’m taking this out of their pay!” at least every other day. I just like the delivery. It’s funny to me. I haven’t paused this episode enough before to check and see what the guy with the whistle is waving around until now, but it being a film production degree is pretty great actually. As is the little popup ad that I desperately wish YouTube would go back to rather than now making me skip individual video ads as they pop up (does anyone know how to get adblock on a phone).

Proof that Stolas might need to date around a bit before he and Blitzo get together: bird likes being manhandled XD (not that Blitzo doesn’t or couldn’t but I doubt he can just pick Stolas up like this beefy dude does, not without some finagling and props)

I also wonder who/what does some of Blitzo’s imp noises, because the animalistic growling is pretty impressive.

And the way Blitzo just gets back on target when Stolas worries about Octavia—he’s a GOOD DAD and a GOOD FRIEND okay!!! Might not be on best terms with Loona right this second, given how she seems to ignore his orders until she accidentally stumbles on a trail to follow Via finally, but heck. He really does do the best he can while getting dragged into his own shenanigans.

And here we have the THIRD crime scene that Via has just walked through today; that is way too much crime :P The Star Owl souvenir sign is super cool though (poster when??). Poor kid.

Putting Blitzo back into showbiz like this is such a cool character moment, too—he’s nervous, he’s freaking out, he has experience but not good memories, and to have Stolas be there for it is priceless. First because he gives comfort by appealing to Blitzo’s ego via complimenting his sexual prowess (which I think normally would be just fine for a confidence booster for him, and might be Stolas reiterating that whatever else is going on with them, at least the sex has always been amazing), and second because Stolas has always been one of the few people to laugh at Blitzo’s jokes when he gets going (and the fact that we KNOW THIS since CHILDHOOD is something that KILLS ME).

Heh. Child star (???) snorting coke out in the open. Nice.

Hang on need to just. Live in the “breathless” moment for a bit. The touching, the blush, the gulp, the smile. Just. Living here. Forever. (Further proof that their arrangement isn’t just one-sided; even if they haven’t actually slept together or spent time together since Ozzie’s, Blitzo finds Stolas affecting and I love that for them.)

The big sparkly eyes Blitzo gets when people start reacting positively to his performance, though. I just. He’s just so. SPARKLY EYES. HE JUST WANTS ATTENTION AND VALIDATION DAMMIT. He’s just…not everyone’s cup of tea XD Bless him. And then Stolas’ big admiring eyes, and Blitzo’s finger guns, and Stolas gulping down 98% acid and 2% leaking sewer water—I WANT TO LIVE HERE.

But I can’t, because we have to check in on the budding sisterly relationship I want for Loona and Via so badly. I love that it’s an observatory that Loona finally finds her. STOP THE FUCKING PRESSES I JUST PAUSED ON THE NEWSPAPER: There’s a shot of Blitzo’s shadow under the headline “Alien Attack?” I’M TELLING YOU IMP IS GOING TO COURT OVER THIS OKAY.

I don’t know how I keep forgetting that Blitzo and Loona had a fight earlier in this episode that Blitzo isn’t feeling good about, when such a huge part of this episode is Blitzo’s flashback to getting Loona. Now let’s talk about the shelter for a bit: obviously run down and messy. Looks more like a jail than an animal shelter (though admittedly I’ve never been to…either, actually). And it’s an adult hellhound showing Blitzo around. I just have so many questions. Why is Blitzo looking for a hellhound? Wanting one for work? He does say he’s looking for one that’s more “family friendly,” but his excitement at being there feels like it’s a personal stop. He doesn’t say he’s looking to hire muscle or a new worker. He seems specifically there to adopt. Which. Only really works if the hellhound is a minor (even if only barely, Miss I-Was-One-Month-Away-From-Being-Eighteen). And it seems like it’s only minors in the shelter anyway (barring the second hellhound Blitzo is introduced to, who seems older). Maybe Verosika’s jab about Amber Alerts earlier was more of a hint at Blitzo wanting kids than I thought.

More questions: the sign overhead says “Hellhound Adoption” but the hellhound guide says “he’ll be perfect for whatever work you want to use him for.” So. In order to get hired, do hellhounds…have to get adopted or at least be adopted at some point? Did Verosika adopt Vortex? That feels wrong and weird. Frankly the fact that hellhound adoption is a thing already begs so many, many questions about hellhound societal dynamics. I’m drowning a little here. “A gift for the wife, huh?” YIKES. YIIIIIKES. Yeah there’s a reason hellhounds are on the same level as imps, huh? Though it seems like imps might even be slightly above hellhounds in some ways, if hellhounds have adoption centers like this and can be GIFTED to other people, even imps. “We’ll be rid of her next month when she ages out. Good riddance, if you ask me. She’ll never amount to anything much.” WONDER WHY, LADY. And the way Blitzo just immediately latched onto her—THEIR NEED FOR CONNECTION IS KILLING ME SLOWLY OKAY.

And the fact that Stolas can tell that Blitzo is suddenly not okay—oof. Also, “you little anal fissure” is hands-down my favorite insult Blitzo deals out in the entire show, bar none. It’s poetry. It’s grace. It’s beauty. It’s so funny I die laughing every time.

I also die over Stolas’ little wimpy “eh!” as he throws a bottle of acid at the producer and most certainly kills him. STOLAS YOU CAN TURN INTO A GIANT RED AND BLACK ELDRITCH MONSTROSITY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING XD

Y’know. Shooting up and burning down a production studio in LA while there are CAMERAS RECORDING…not good for being low-key in the living world if you’re Hellborn and trying to stay out of sight. Also, the way the electronics around the place start to go a little goofy—“Let it burn” on the teleprompter, “Panic” on the screens facing the audience, the way the lights shut off and then back on and there’s a lot of dead folks all of a sudden—makes me feel like a certain cosmic someone is reveling in the chaos and violence here (Roo show yourself u mysterious temptress).

I believe in Blitzo’s muscles, Blitzo Is The Lovely Bride 2k25. (Or however that meme goes with the lovely pony bride and the fucked up little pony husband.)

Now back to Loona and Via and very important future stepsibling bonding: I LOVE that Loona drops her human disguise before drawing Via’s attention. And that Via opens up to her so quickly. She really could use a friend; no indication that she has any of those, which isn’t good for her or for her and Stolas’ relationship either. My Hellaverse friend said she thinks Via is 100% right when Via says “why does he hate her more than he loves me?” and that Stolas’ child being his only positive relationship his entire life isn’t good for either one of them, especially not Via. I agree…to a point. I think Stolas does hate Stella more than he loves Via…FOR NOW. I think the emotions he’s trying to regulate are all so intense right now, so new to him, that he is failing Via, but Loona is also right that this situation isn’t entirely as simple as that, either. Stolas is trying the best he can, and while it may not be a very good best right now, it’s not nothing (for examples, see Paimon and Cash, who both need giant punches to their terrible fatherly faces). It’s the kinder side of praising bare minimum, I think: acknowledging that sometimes, yeah, scraping bare minimum really is an accomplishment and should be celebrated.

(Via’s little bird noises. SO cute.)

And we come back around to the root of what Via is really upset about: it isn’t about the meteor shower, it’s about how her father’s attention and affection is somewhere else, and how alone and abandoned that makes her feel when that’s already an issue she has. But, much like the entire situation between her parents, Via doesn’t have all the information. She doesn’t know that her dad is down in the city looking all over for her (and to the folks who want to disregard that and say no Stolas wasn’t, he was hanging around Blitzo and ignoring Via the whole time, may I remind you that Stolas can’t track Via and he doesn’t have Loona’s number. If Loona finds Via while they’re trying to get out of this human showbiz mess they’re dealing with now and can’t really escape without causing a scene…which happens anyway…Stolas would have no way of knowing. His powers are limited. They are technically not supposed to get noticed as demons. He is ONLY safe with Blitzo right now, and only able to have half a chance of catching up with Via if he sticks close to the guy who DOES have Loona’s number and WILL hear about it when she finds Via). She doesn’t know how bad things are between her parents. It’s likely she doesn’t even know how bad her mother truly is (FUCKING HELL CAN WE JUST GET SOME SCENES WITH VIA AND STELLA THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH STOLAS—). This shit DOES get messy. And only going to get messier, thanks to Andrealphus and Stella.

Listen. Stolas does need to be trying harder with Via. But it’s understandable that he’s letting the ball slip, between his own self-loathing and now this messy separation and also the very messy situation with Blitzo. He doesn’t get it right every time. He can’t. Just like Blitzo with Loona, the fact that Stolas is even trying isn’t nothing. Yes he can be doing better, but what he’s doing ISN’T NOTHING. These two things can be true at the same time. Stolas isn’t worried about reputation or appearances, he just wants Via to be safe, and being in the human world by herself is not safe for her. And Blitzo wants Loona to be less offensive to customers, but he also wants her to be happy and know that even if she drives away all their business, he still loves her and wants to be in her life (and wants her in his, won’t be replacing her or getting rid of her EVER). Fucking. STOP PRESSING MY DADDY ISSUES BUTTON, VIV. IT’S RUDE.

The HUG. I just need them to be friends so badly. Parent Trapping their dads at some point, but also hanging out because they both need friends so badly.

Stolas doesn’t yell or lecture, he just wants her to be okay. And then immediately apologizes when he realizes how badly he messed up. HE’S TRYING.

“What the fuck is that?” “MY ACTING CAREER.” Yeah, not the first time a career in showbiz has gone up in flames for Blitzo, huh?

…I’ll just. See myself out for that one.

I love how even though Via’s going to have to wait another thousand years for the next showing of Azathoth’s Tears, she and Stolas are still making the best of the situation and admiring the fireworks. Making lemonade out of lemons, I suppose. Just enjoying each other’s company, which is what Via really wanted all along. She’ll come to terms with the divorce, with her parents’ true relationship, all of it…so long as she can still hang out with her dad and feel seen and loved.

Which is what’s gonna make their next confrontation in s2.5 hurt so damn bad, huh? :))))

Okay, brief interjection to say it took me so long to understand what “Mackin Stols do it now” translated to, because “macking” is another way of saying “making out” or kissing and I got very, very sidelined by that train of thought before I realized he was saying “Making.” Also. Are we…gonna talk about how Blitzo can spell out loud just fine but can’t do it when typing or writing? No? Fine.

I’d love to see more of Moxxie getting sucked into supporting local artists to the detriment of everyone around him. It’s such a great character trait.

Okay, that’s that! On to the next! Trying to get these all out tonight and tomorrow and making terrible time, woohoo!

[veggiehomosapien]

'k. i just watched the last ep of the dw special.

***(SPOILERS WILL BE DISCUSSED)***

it had its fun moments, surprisingly was okay with neil patrick harris as the toymaker and it was lovely to see certain characters again, but i gotta say...not pleased. i just gotta get my thoughts out. very long rant incoming (feel free to skip lol):

bi-generation? really? i can vaguely see what rtd was trying to do but man...what a mistake i think that was. it completely takes away from ncuti's doctor having his own regen moment and the "passing of batons" -- AND the fact that fourteen is just what, chilling on earth with his own tardis and can come back at any time?? (and let's face it, he probably will. not that i don't love seeing david but we need to let this go now, it's time to move on!). and how ncuti's doctor has the "cloned" tardis and david's fourteen has the "original" like? idk i feel really icky about it all?? absolutely none of this was necessary. and don't even get me started on that line that donna had when fifteen regenerated ooooooooo *grumbles* they better have black writers writing for ncuti bc if this ep is anything to go by...yikes.

as if that wasn't enough lol, the fact that yasmin khan, the woman who fell for the woman who fell to earth, the first sapphic southeast asian companion, who JUST left the doctor, was not even acknowledged?? if we're name-dropping all of the previous companions, why ignore her? four eps ago we had her and the doctor sharing their final moments together, and the doctor absolutely cannot have just forgotten everything that happened given that they mentioned the flux. but also! we had kate stewart in the ep! and mel! where the fuck was the mention of the support group! "just saw yaz the other day, she's doing well." "dan and graham say hi" - LIKE HELLO?????? and the cheap shot of "who'd have thought. i ended up with a family" after thirteen called her companions "fam" (and i'll even mention amy and rory for that matter). like listen, i love donna and i love ten (and found fourteen very interesting!) but COME ON. the doctor has had, and will continue to have, family, in all of it's varying forms and connections. there is no need to differentiate between the other "families" (that have been explicitly mentioned as families) - as well as the "you came home" line. *eyeroll* yeah uh huh, thanks rtd. the doctor never had people to call home before. i just think that line was in poor taste. a complete disrespect to the previous characters who we know and love.

and i want to reiterate the fact that not only was yaz not mentioned or acknowledged, but martha too. she knew ten's face, she's met donna, why wasn't she a part of unit? why were yaz and martha the only two of the main modern companions to not be mentioned hmm?

anyway. apologies for this long-winded rant. i'm just. disappointed. and frustrated. this had so much potential but i guess i should have known what we were getting into with thirteen regenerating into david and him not wearing thriteen's clothes and then rtd saying that he didn't regen into her clothes bc a man dressing in woman's clothes could be considered drag and that would be a "delicate" topic (so what was jodie dressed in twelve's clothes? and if you went on to write the idea that the doctor's gender is outside of the binary, what's the big fuss, rtd?)

all this to say, i am excited for ncuti (so excited for him, he did wonderfully in this ep!!) and i can't wait to see what he brings. he deserved a better introduction. one to call his own.

[adoringhaikyuu]

hello!! i have a bit of a request! could i get oikawa bokuto and kuroo w a s/o who absolutely loves to cook and bake and does so a lot, but always always always shares the food they make? n they kinda slowed down in making food bc ppl arent accepting or wanting the food they make and its making them really down :(

ive been having this issue w my roommates bc i always cook for them w lots of love and they never eat what i make and its,, draining on me,,,,

but yea!! i just want oikawa bokuto n kuroo to make me feel a lil better :( thank u so so so much!!!! i love ur blog n ur writing so much 🖤

THEY AREN'T EATING YOUR FOOD SO YOU STOP COOKING FOR THEM

CHARACTERS: bokuto + kuroo + oikawa + (gn!reader)

WARNINGS: none

NOTES: i hope everything is ok and if not i hope it gets better!! <3 + i tried to make these a little happier ! they all take place over a week + i tried a new format with this we'll see if i stick w it sfkjhg

bokuto:

bokuto honestly didn't not want to eat your food

it's just that he had to go on a new diet for the upcoming season, his trainer and nutritionist told him to try it out to see how it works with him

and the things you cooked and baked were on the no eating list

he just loved when you made food for him, it tasted amazing and he could feel the love you put into it

he was planning on waiting the diet out and stockpiling all the food you made for afterwards as a treat

but he may or may not have failed to tell you that

so when you noticed he wasn't eating the food you left for him when he came home late after practice, you were disheartened and not to be dramatic, but heartbroken as well

deciding not to waste anymore, you simply stopped

turns out, the diet wasn't really working with bokuto, his nutritionist decided it was unecessary since he was getting the same results when he wasn't on it––thanks to his genetics, metabolism and workout routine. if anything he was glad, he was beyond excited to come home and finally eat your cooking again.

he practically ran home with a skip in his step, shouting out cheerfully as soon as he stepped past the front door. "baby i'm home!" he put his things down and took his shoes off, before gliding in front of the fridge to open it. "what's for dinner?––" he trailed off when he noticed there was nothing cooking, maybe you were starting later? he looked through the shelves in the fridge, looking for something to snack on in the mean time and gasped abruptly when he couldn't find the containers of food he'd been saving over the past week.

he closed the doors and frantically looked around the kitchen, opening random cupboards that couldn't possibly keep any refrigerated food fresh.

you walked in to find him searching around like a madman and you paused. "kou? what's wrong?"

he looked up at the sound of your voice and ran over to you, placing his hands on your waist. he kissed your forehead to say hello, despite the pout on his face and the clearly pressing matter on his mind. "hi baby doll. i was looking for all the food that was in the fridge, did you move them?"

you paused, "well i––i threw them out?"

his eyes almost bulged out of his head, "what?! why??"

you were confused by his sudden outburst, it's not like he was eating any of it. "i mean you weren't eating, kou...it's been a week since you've stopped eating my food, i just didn't see the point in keeping it all in there...that's also why i'm not making dinner right now."

he stared at you, shocked and disappointed in himself, he had no idea you were feeling this upset. "oh my god...did i forget to tell you?" your brows furrowed curiously but he simply pulled you into his arms for a tight hug. "i'm so sorry bub––they wanted me to try out this new diet, that's why i wasn't eating! i didn't mean to make you upset! i was even planning on eating all of the dinners i missed afterwards...but the diet wasn't for me so i can go back to eating normally now!"

you pulled back slightly to look at him, not knowing what to say. "oh..."

he gave you a sad smile, "yeah," he brought a hand up to hold your cheek, "you know i love your food––it honestly hurt my heart when they told me i couldn't eat it!"

you cracked a smile and he gave you one right back, "i'm serious!"

you sighed happily, "okay...so i guess i should start making dinner then?––"

he was pulling you over to the fridge before you could finish your sentence, "absolutely! and i'm helping!"

you laughed and started getting the ingredients together, "how about i make your favorite tonight?"

he nodded like a child excited for ice cream and kissed you on the cheek. he wasn't really a chef himself, that's why he left it to you––he didn't want to burn down the kitchen. so he'd mostly be staying by your side, maybe handing you things or mixing things, but you enjoyed his company nonetheless.

you had started seasoning the food when he slid his arms around you from behind, leaning down to rest his head on your shoulder. "hey baby?" you hummed in response and his hold on you tightened a bit. "would you...mind making my favorite dessert tonight too? i've been craving it for a while now..."

you smiled to yourself and nodded, "i'd love to."

he squeezed you and kissed your cheek loudly, "yes! thank you i love you so much!–"

kuroo:

almost every day you sent kuroo off to work with a baked good you made him

he loved them and you loved making them so it was a win-win

you'd put them in a little container with a cute note

and though he knew what to expect each time, they never failed to brighten his day

but earlier this week you stopped by kuroo's office to drop off the treat he'd forgotten to take with him today in his rush out the door

he was in a meeting so his assistant let you into his office

and you felt an ache in your chest when you noticed four of the treats you'd given him this past week all on his desk, unopened

that day, you went back home with all the uneaten sweets and unshed tears aching to fall from your eyes

did he just take them to please you? did he not really want them this whole time? was he just trying to be a good husband?

all these questions flooded your mind, only confusing and hurting you further

but one thing was for certain, you'd stop baking them for him

it didn't make sense for you to if you knew it'd be going to waste

kuroo was beyond done with his day and it wasn't even halfway over. he sighed, loosening his tie as he shut the door to his office, drained from the two hour meeting he'd been in.

thankfully, he had no more meetings today so he could sit and relax while he worked in his office. he sat down at his desk and shut his eyes for a moment, needing to calm down and regenerate himself. he reached over to his left blindly, knowing he'd left the treats you baked him there––things had been getting so hectic lately, he barely had time to eat them, but he was saving them for when he did have the time.

his hand smacked down on the desk three times as he tried to reach for the containers before he finally opened his eyes. his brows furrowed slightly, "what the..." he looked around the desk, opening the drawers and everything before giving up and calling his assistant in.

she knocked on the door and he signaled for her to come in.

"yes sir?"

"hi, do you know where the sweets i had on my desk are? i thought i left them here."

his assistant thought for a moment before perking up, "oh i believe your partner came and collected them while you were in your meeting, sir."

he frowned, "y/n was here? why didn't you tell me?"

"they asked me not to disturb you."

kuroo nodded, "oh alright...well, thank you, that'll be all."

he immediately pulled his personal phone out and called your number, you must have been back home by now.

you saw his name pop up on your screen as you were about to throw out the baked goods and hesitated for a good while before sighing and picking up. "yes?"

you could practically hear the smirk on his face as he spoke through the phone.

kuroo leaned back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling as he spoke. "you stole my sweets from me? where'd you hide them? or did you eat them?"

he didn't even feel bad that he'd just left them there?––"well you clearly weren't eating them kuroo," the smirk dropped from his face and he sat up, alert. woah––kuroo? why did you sound upset? "they were just sitting on your desk––anyway, i was about to throw them out."

"woah, what?? why would you do that?!"

he was speaking to you but you honestly weren't listening, too annoyed and too hurt to pay attention. "look if you didn't like them, you could have just told me so i wouldn't have to waste hours every day busting my ass to make them for you––were you just throwing them out this whole time, is that it?––"

he shook his head with each word you uttered before realizing you couldn't see him, he was just in complete shock. "what? no no, kitten listen to me, hey listen, okay?" you paused, mostly to catch your breath, but he took that opportunity to speak up. "i love when you bake for me, everything you make tastes amazing. i love eating the sweets you make when i'm at work because they remind me of you and of how much you love me––this week's just been a complete pain in my ass and i haven't had the time to sit down, eat and enjoy your treats, i love them and you too much to just scarf them down in a minute. i need to savor them, you know?" despite the adrenaline running in your body, you cracked a smile. "i finally had some time to myself and i was gonna eat them just now when i realized they were missing so i called you..."

he trailed off and you took that as your cue to speak up. "oh..."

you could hear his smirk again, "yeah, oh."

"so i...maybe...overreacted a bit."

he chuckled, the sound warm even through the phone. "no kitten you didn't, i get why you were upset––but, you should have asked me about it first."

you sighed, "yeah, yeah..." you looked at the open containers in front of you, only now noticing the notes you put in them were gone––he must have taken them out to read them even though he didn't have time to eat––"wait a minute, if you haven't had time to eat..." you could hear him clear his throat awkwardly, "kuroo you haven't been eating lunch?!"

he laughed awkwardly, "um, i mean, i eat after work––"

"that's not the same!" you rolled your eyes, "i'm coming back over there and i'm bringing you lunch and you're going to eat it, understand?"

he poked his tongue to the side of his cheek. "okay, kitten."

you sighed, "you're lucky i love you."

he leaned back in his chair again, "oh could you bring one of the––"

you cut him off, putting one of the already closed containers back in your bag. "already on it."

he grinned, "god, i love you."

oikawa:

oikawa loves your cooking

and normally he scrambles home after practice to eat it

but this past week training was grueling and tiring, so by the time he came out every day, he was drained mentally and physically

and he was starving

he couldn't wait any longer as soon as he stepped foot out of the gym

so he went to the nearest takeout place, bodega, whatever to get something to eat quickly,, for the whole week

he thought nothing of it

but when he came home every night for a week straight saying he'd already eaten when you tried to offer him the food you spent hours making?

it hurt, a lot

so you decided you'd stop cooking

oikawa was aching to go home––he was exhausted and all he thought about to get him through the day was you, your cooking and your cuddles. he needed all three immediately. when his coach said they were all free to go home, he could almost feel a weight lifting off his shoulders.

he sighed loudly as he stepped into your home, peeling his sneakers off and setting his things aside. he padded into the house, going straight to the kitchen and frowned when you were nowhere in sight. he'd come home a bit early today, around the time you were usually making dinner.

he looked around and walked to the living room, smiling to himself when he found you sitting on the couch, looking for something to watch on tv.

you smiled up at him and greeted him, the sound of your voice making him feel warm inside. "hi baby, how was your day?"

he huffed and slid onto the couch, lying down so his head was in your lap. "don't even talk to me about the day i've had––i was thinking about you the whole time." he took your hand in his and brought it up to his lips to give it a soft kiss. "you got me through it."

he placed one of your hands on his cheek and the other in his hair, mumbling a thank you when you started playing with the slightly damp mess on his head. "mm that feels good baby." he closed his eyes and sighed contently, settling in comfortably to your touch.

after a few moments, he spoke up softly, trying his best not to fall asleep. "what's for dinner?"

"um i'm not sure," your eyes were focused back on the tv as you thought for a moment. "what do you wanna order?"

he paused and cracked one eye open, opening the other when he realized you weren't joking. "wha––order?"

you looked down at him and nodded hesitantly, "yeah? like takeout?"

he sat up abruptly and turned to face you, "what? why?"

you paused this time, unsure of how to respond. "well...every night for the past week you haven't been eating my food. i think it's fair for me to assume you don't want my food anymore."

he felt a piece of himself break on the inside, "oh angel..." he grabbed your hands, "no no––i love your food, you know that––i've just been so tired this week, i couldn't even wait to get home to eat, so i stopped by the nearest places with the boys." he scooted closer to you. "i'm so sorry i made you feel like i didn't appreciate what you do for me––i promise from now on i'll drag myself on my hands and knees if i have to to come home to you and eat––"

you laughed and shook your head, "tooru there's no need for that––"

he cut you off, almost offended. "of course there is! i hurt your feelings baby, i never want to do that again!"

you smiled and pulled him in for a sweet kiss that he quickly melted into. you pulled away to look at him earnestly. "it's okay babe. just...maybe tell me next time? i was just worried you were tired of my food, that's all."

he pulled you into his lap and held you tight. "i could never and will never be tired of anything you do for me, i promise." he kissed your cheek. "though it is my fault, i did miss your cooking this week––but if you're not in the mood to make anything i understand and we can still order––"

you shook your head, "i'll make your favorite, okay?"

he pulled you in for another kiss, "i really don't deserve you."

[deanmarywinchester]

im still reading this book about the franklin expedition so who wants facts about the terror characters vs their real life inspiration? you? right this way sir

Netsilingmiut tradition is to lay a dead person to rest on the ground wrapped in furs and surrounded by stones, and then to avoid that area for the next year. leaving them uncovered is so their soul can either return to nature or inhabit the body of a namesake, and it also prevents the impossible work of digging a grave in permafrost. i’m interested in this re: terror because silna’s father was covered up with ice, which can’t have helped her or him, and because of how hickey breaks taboo by returning to the site where fitzjames is buried

contrary to book canon, peglar knew how to write long before meeting bridgens, due to some rudimentary charity schooling and a sort of trade/prep school for the navy or merchant mariners. he served many voyages in good standing except once when he was lashed for mutinous behavior and drunkenness, but his reputation seems to have bounced back

the body that the peglar papers was found with was likely actually jopson, who may have befriended him on an earlier voyage they served on together

while im talking about peglar, this isn’t a fact but I am dead certain that dan simmons made him gay bc he had no other explanation for why the peglar papers are written backward than bc he was imitating da vinci (book canon). also book peglar has dysgraphia to explain why he’s highly literate but the peglar papers had terrible spelling

blanky had studied the ice and was an arctic veteran but reid was an experienced whaler who made decisions on gut instinct. fitzjames liked him despite calling him a “so-called” ice master in his diary

hickey’s mutiny, which in the book was his men trying to get back to the ships, was likely inspired by one of the first identified signs of franklin’s men: two skeletons, gnawed likely by wolves, found in a boat on a sledge pointing back toward the icebound ships. the sledge was full of random stuff including five watches and china plates, which the explorer who found it ten years after the ships’ abandonment lamented were considered useless dead weight in this modern age of arctic exploration. you see a bit of hickey’s men collecting useless things in the show (when they’re sitting at a table and chairs using plates and cutlery) but it’s an even more prominent theme in the book

sir john brought along a lot of slates and chalk and intended the men to be taught to read and write during any winters they spent trapped in ice

some Inuit lore says that the northern lights are dangerous, with one specific folk story being that if you whistle, they will come down to cut off your head. this is not a fact about the terror characters but it is a reminder to me to see if the bosun’s whistle sounding in the show foreshadows any decapitations

aglooka means “takes long strides” but it took a Netsilingmiuk historian to make sense of what stories about an Aglooka meant for the fate of the franklin expedition. that’s bc it was a name given to many white explorers, including crozier and james clark ross (i guess bc white people walked differently in the arctic? or were taller?). anyway everyone clap and cheer for Louie Kamookak for figuring this out almost incidentally while he was trying to write a history of the Netsilingmiuk

[thefoulbeast]

babbling about some pathologic hcs concerning patronyms (or lack thereof)

I noticed that in the game no one calls one another by their patronym,  but quite honestly i thing it could add some nice nuances to character interactions... (putting this under cut bc i am not quite sure how coherent these thoughts r, n dont wanna clog anyones dash lol)

In the fandom as well, I noticed someone use Artemy’s patronym just the one time in a fic. But I was thinking about how badly I want to know more characters’ fathers names because it would add like a… idk buffer between going from a last name basis to a first name basis. Such as Daniil referring to Artemy as Artemy Isidorovich rather than simply Burakh – there is still a certain professional distance to it but it does imply a nice collegiality, similar to the way calling each other colleague does…

But it also got me thinking – what if use of patronyms in-world were a Capital thing? And Daniil comes to the ToG and is sort of offput that no one introduces themselves with the patronym and goes ‘ok kind of weird but I guess ill match the vibe’ and omits his own.

But since it would be more of a habit for him to use them than that Gorhonskans, perhaps he slips up and idk calls Vlad jr. Vladimir Vladimirovich and Maria Maria Viktorovna or smth like that and gets a funny look…

But also, for very personal reasons, I love the idea of Daniil heavily misunderstanding some interpersonal ties on his first day in the ToG and assuming that Stanislav is Artemy’s brother (unclear as to how this could happen but I could make it work given enough time to brainstorm n workshop) and calling Stakh Stanislav Isidorovich and sending Rubin into every single stage of grief at once…

And Stakh just being so dumbstruck that at first he’s quiet while Daniil keeps talking but eventually interrupting him to say “I am not Isidorovich, I am… [moment of pause where he considers saying his actual patronym but decides against it] … simply Stanislav Rubin.”

And Daniil, again from his very Capital-esque point of view assuming that Stakh is either a bit rude or has serious issues with his father due to omitting saying his patronym in this situation. Which isn’t too weird in the ToG bc they don’t use patronyms but Daniil arrives at a Correct Assumption using the Wrong Formula bc yes Stakh does have issues...

but anyway? anyone else have any thoughts about patronyms or lack thereof in pathologic? i just thought it was an interesting dimension to be applied to the chara relationships...)

[miekasa]

love talk

+ pairings: eren yeager + (fem) reader

+ genres and warnings: it’s not important that eren is a tattoo artist i just wanted to share bc i gave him tattoos here :’), fluff i think, smut/nsfw content, if you see a hint of eremin then no you don’t </2

+ word count: almost 2k, sickening innit luv

+ notes: yeah, still thinking about eren speaking german during sex bc he’s losing his mind hehe. i suppose this is the… softer version. might post another one later, who knows. and yes, i did almost name this pussy talk. 

Unbeknownst to him, Eren Jaeger speaks three languages.

The first two are obvious, but English is his preferred language; the one you’ll find him speaking most often. It only makes sense, seeing as it’s what the overwhelming majority of people, media, and signs spew at him.

The second is more reserved; something you might assume given his name, but not know for sure unless you asked, or stuck around long enough to catch him rambling excitedly to Armin in German, with broken slang phrases of English interspersed. It’s fascinating—cute, moreover—the way he stumbles back and forth between both tongues; and the difference in tone between them. You’re not sure if your own bias is peeking through, but you’re certain Eren and Armin both sound a little… meaner in German; more sarcastic, at the very least—and you wouldn’t be surprised to find out they were talking shit the whole time.

Though, there is a special, reserved intonation to his mother tongue that shows itself when Eren’s around you. It doesn’t seem to be by choice—gone beyond comprehension that he’s forced to revert to grunted expressions and curses in a language foreign to his surroundings. You assume them to be curses; you never can confirm, and Eren seems to not even be aware of his switching in the heat of the moment, can never quite recall what he was saying to you.

There are times when he’s reduced to mere sounds, no comprehensible words between the hundreds of thousands he knows—only guttural moans, and breathy sighs, and he seems to not even be able to understand himself. You have to admit, it’s a bit of an ego boost to be able to fuck your boyfriend stupid in two languages.

And at first glance, Eren doesn’t seem like the type of guy to know about anything outside of himself. He doesn’t seem like the full-sleeve, three ear piercing, tattoo artist kinda kid; but Eren Jaeger speaks the language of pictures, of symbols, of images, that he is able to decipher and give meaning to upon creation. He’s got a penchant for art, and a vision bigger than himself, so it’s only right that he takes his knowledge and applies it in its most permanent form. The tattoos are more than a hobby for him—they’re an extension of himself, his art, his language; and his body is the only canvas fit enough to capture them.

So, here, with Eren laying on his back, chest exposed, arms bent for his hands to rest against your waist, you get to see the culmination of all the words and all the pictures, from all the languages he’s deemed important enough to find a place on his skin.

“Do all of your tattoos have a meaning?” you question, reaching your hand up to trace over the delicate waves that ride along his right collarbone.

“No,” Eren winces when you move—just enough of him to feel an ounce of friction inside of you, but not enough to give him what he wants. He wiggles himself a bit, desperate for something, “Not at all.”

It makes you chuckle, with a sort of disbelief, at both his words and his actions, “You get things tattooed on your body that don’t mean anything to you?”

Eren lets out a shaky breath, followed with a boyish smile. He blinks at you slowly, lids fluttering and hands gripping tightly at your body, “Learned that not everything has to have a deep meaning to want to keep it around,” he tells you, right palm moving to venture over your tummy, and up your sides, “Somethings you just love.”

You don’t miss the lilt in his voice on the word ‘love,’ but you play it off, rolling your eyes at his deliberately sweet affections, and then, gently, your hips, “Pretty poetic for something with no meaning.”

“Yeah, well, Armin taught me that,” Eren grits, hands fastening themselves at your hips again.

“You talk about Armin a lot when we’re in bed you know,” you taunt him, moving your fingers to trace over more of the tattoos that litter his right shoulder, “Something I should know about?”

Eren shivers at the feeling—of your fingertips on his skin, and what he swears was an intentional clench around him, “You don’t seem to mind.”

You smile at him, enjoying the contortions of his face when you run your hands down his chest, palms pressed lightly against his pelvic bone. Eren bends a knee, but does he best to remain still, and you can’t help but to chuckle. He looks pretty when he’s trying his best.

“I’m greedy,” you tell him, raising your hips, and pausing in your words as you slowly lower yourself back on to him.

“Trust me,” Eren scoffs, a façade to cover up his reddening cheeks and shaky thighs, “I know.”

He tries to move his hips up, desperate for something more; for you to fucking move, but, you keep your hips perfectly still. Instead, you reach your arms behind you, and onto Eren’s thighs, cementing them to the bed. He groans, his hands sliding down to your own thighs, fingertips digging into your flesh.

“And you called me greedy,” you huff, amused, as Eren rolls his eyes beneath you. When you’re sure he’s not going to move, you bring your arms back around, palms splayed on his stomach, “Relax. This is what you asked for, isn’t it?”

“Honestly, in an ideal world, this would be happening when I was playing COD, not when I was already impossibly hard with morning wood. And with a lot less teasing on your part.”

You have to laugh—genuinely giggle—at Eren’s blunt honesty. He’s unintentionally charming; another linguistic skill he seems unaware that he’s proficient in. You can tell he doesn’t understand the source of your amusement, but the look in his eyes, the twinkle in his irises lets you know he’s too far gone to even care.

“Call it a lesson in self-control,” you say, moving your hands to his sides in time with a shallow grind of your hips, “Besides, I’m admiring you.”

Eren keeps his hands anchored on your thighs, shivering at sensitivity of his dick coupled with your hands stroking over his pecs, “Lesson fucking learning—babe, fuck, please—”

“Shh—not yet,” you coo, and reach to pull his arms off of you, leaving you with room to admire his sleeve. You take pity on him, holding his right wrist with both of your hands, before slowly beginning to bounce on him.

Eren squirms, his free hand reaching to grab at the flesh of your ass, eyes blinking open to watch his cock be buried inside of you. The relief is instant—for the both of you—immediate groans and shallow profanities slipping past your lips as you build a steady pace to ride him.

“Tell—tell me what this one means,” you question slowly, keeping your right hand around his wrist, but using your left to point to the tattoo; a stylized line art of crossed wings.

“Some shit about freedom,” Eren grunts, fingers twitching, “Fuck, babe—more, please, I’ll—”

Eren cuts himself off with a whine, and you hiss yourself, lifting your body all the way to the tip, before lowering yourself again at an agonizingly slow pace. At this rate, you can feel everything; every vein on his shaft, every twitch of his cock. You feel Eren deep inside of you, even see where the bulge outlines your tummy.

You still yourself for just a second, catching your breath, anchoring yourself on Eren. You’re pretty far gone yourself, but you want more; for yourself, and for him. You do your best to stay coherent, slowly grinding atop of him, questioning him about another tattoo on his arm, ignoring the way his palm grips at your bicep. It’s a small one, with detailed Japanese characters that you can’t understand, but appreciate anyway; it’s one of your favorites, and you ask Eren about its meaning, clenching yourself around him as punctuation to your question.  

Eren sucks air between his teeth, left hand pulling back to run his fingers through his hair, a grunted word in German falling from his lips. You smirk, but let him try to answer you.

“I don’t fucken’ know,” Eren grumbles, head thrashing from side to side, “It’s really fucken’ hard to remember anything—shit—like this. S’fucking torture.”

“Hm,” you hum, not satisfied; eager for more of Eren’s love language, “Tell me something in German, instead, then.”

But Eren can only babble beneath you; sounds incoherent in either language—reduced to desperate whines and grabby hands at your thighs, waist, boobs—anything. You lean forward, letting go of Eren’s tattooed wrist, and reaching to ghost your fingers over his lips.

“Come on, Eren, you’re usually so good at it when we do this,” you taunt him, words coated in sweetness that distract you from keeping up your pace, “Just want you to talk pretty to me. Tell me something, baby.”

Eren’s eyes travel from your fingertips, up your arm, neck, and to your face. When he meets your gaze something shifts; eyes heavy with want, and bitter with dissatisfaction.

So, he reaches for your extended hand, laces your fingers together, “Something like what?”

You wrap your fingers around his, then do the same with your left hand, “Anything.”

“Anything?”

“Yeah,” you affirm with a smile, finally satisfied.

Eren grunts, bending his right knee for leverage before he flips you over, hands still intertwined, but now pinned over your head, harshly pressed into the pillows below. He buries his head into the crook of your neck; licking a stripe along your collarbone, where you’d teased him minutes before. Then up, up, up, your neck to the shell of your ear, retreating downwards to suck on the skin just beneath your ear, nipping with pointed teeth.

Eren keeps his weight on you, the length of his cock sliding over your slick folds while he bites angry, red blotches into your skin—a kind of impermanent tattoo of his own making on your body. The friction is good, but not enough, and you wonder if Eren intends on teasing you as long as you’d done to him; but, he breathes heavy breaths up your neck again, before mumbling a series of foreign syllables into your ear.

He hovers over your face, satisfied by the daze in your eyes; the slight openness of your mouth. It’s you who looks dumbstruck now, a foreigner to his ministrations; and for once, he’s in control with his second tongue.

“What—what does that mean?” you finally ask, squeezing your eyes briefly when Eren teases the tip just past your entrance.

Eren chuckles, airy, gritty, and cocky all at once. He pushes his cock inside of you, balls deep, only to pull out almost all the way, before leaning forward just slightly, so that his bottom lip grazes over yours.

“It means I love you,” he whispers, hips bucking forward, “Try to remember that, ‘cause I swear I’m gonna fuck you stupid, baby.”

[slytherinsnekxvii]

let's talk about lily evans and the marauders, aka moony, wormtail, padfoot and prongs. given that i didn't use their actual names, i think you can figure out where this is going. it's also long as hell, so. canon vs fanon, marauder edition, except snek is sleep deprived.

now, before we begin, i don't dislike the marauders. or lily, tbh. if I'm being perfectly, genuinely honest, i still go back and forth sometimes but they've been growing on me for a while now. the canon versions, at least. fanon does them real dirty, and that's part of why i'm writing this, because i'm genuinely tired of it. it's an injustice.

you can at least make excuses for james and lily, who were so undeveloped that jkr practically dropped a fill-in-the-blank sheet of character information in our laps, but sirius, remus and peter were around long enough for y'all to get real acquainted with them.

in canon, sirius black is an unhinged mf. genuinely. this isn't to say he's a bad guy, in fact, we see that he's still capable of doing good things, still capable of love, still capable of all the things that prove he's actually not bad at heart, just,,, severely traumatised and very steeped in negativity from his time with the dementors. what i'm saying is that this man is absolutely, no questions asked, no holds barred demented, and how could he not be? the guy sat wrongfully imprisoned in azkaban for twelve years, a good portion of which he spent as a dog in order to protect himself from the dementors. he certainly wasn't completely insane, but you cannot tell me that he was all there. he got out of azkaban fuelled almost solely by the intent to get revenge on pettigrew, tried to commit murder in front of three witnesses who were also children—one of whom was his godson—ate rats and was also malnourished, which i'm certain did not help the situation any. this man is off his goddamn rocker, and you know what? you love to see it. good for him.

oh, but, snek, that's what he's like as an adult. what about when they were at school? before azkaban? my guy, the reaction he has to grimmauld place is not the reaction of someone without trauma. i don't believe that walburga and orion were the type to physically abuse their children, but whatever happened in that house helped to fuck him up enough that he skipped the joke of part of practical joke, and pranked snape by telling him how to meet a werewolf that he knew would be fully transformed and dangerous to humans. more than that, the werewolf was remus, whom he's friends with, and who—best case scenario—would be facing a trial if james hadn't stepped in. you can say that maybe he didn't think about or understand the gravitas of his actions, but at the end of it, that's not how properly sane people react to people they dislike, and that's not how they treat their friends. if anything, it reads like he was in the middle of a breakdown and absolutely losing his shit and he wasn't thinking at all.

my guy went through some serious shit, and was in no way completely mentally stable. we can see pretty clearly that he's got a serious dark side to him that probably would have gone unbridled had he not disagreed with his family, and yet, fanon took one look at him and went, "teehee, uwu bad boi go vroom."

fanon said padfoot is a pretty boy with nice hair who is tastefully traumatised from his horribly abusive household. sirius rides his motorcycle and plays jokes and flirts with anything that moves, but he can do no real wrong and always comes back to his soft, bookish, chocolate-loving boyfriend remus, who will laugh about his lycanthropy and quietly disapprove but secretly laugh at his friends' antics while hiding his smile in his cardigan.

respectfully, what in the absolute fuck.

i'd put that meme in here if i could, the one that's like, "well done, you've broken _______ down to its bare essentials," but no. i can't bc it doesn't even apply. this isn't a meme, it's theseus' fucking ship.

fanon broke it down, and replaced the pieces one by one until we got to this point, where we need to sit down and ask ourselves, "is this even the same character?"

the answer is no, by the way. it isn't. when people talk about woobifying characters—you know, taking away every flaw they have, romanticising everything they do and making them only capable of doing good, wonderful, lovely things?—this is what we mean.

and it'd be one thing if it was just the one character, but, no. fanon went all in and made them all squeaky clean and boring, especially peter, who draws the shortest of the straws.

remus got fucked, too. not just because fanon insists on sticking him into a relationship with sirius. which, we'll tackle wolfstar in a bit, but that's not even the worst of it. here, we have yet another example of blatant, rampant woobifying. again, is he a bad person? no. we know he's a good guy, we know he's generally kind and well-mannered, we know that he wants to fo the right thing but hey, fun fact. did you know that you can be nice and a coward? did you know that you can be benevolent and good and kindly and have the greatest of intentions and still be shady as fuck? no? ask dumbledore. the man played people like chess pieces when he needed to, and he was a twinkly grandpa. these are things that can coexist.

teenage remus is a coward who, understandably, does not stand up to his friends, likely for fear of being ostracised, and doesn't uphold his prefect duties as he should and takes part in their bullying of snape as a result. he lets them romp with him in werewolf form while they are in their animagus forms and then, he lets them continue to do so even after they have multiple close calls, which, again, had anything happened, would have resulted in a trial in the best case scenario.

grownup remus is still a coward, he tells no one that sirius can move about the school in his animagus form despite wholeheartedly believing that he's a mass murderer, he tries to run out on his wife and unborn kid. he isn't deliberately making attempts to harm anyone, but he's content to sit back and let things happen to him and around him so he doesn't rock the boat, although he is capable of action, which we see when he is more than willing to help sirius merk pettigrew in the shack. he can be careless, he runs out to the shack knowing he hasn't taken his wolfsbane and ends up transforming in front of the students he, as a teacher, is meant to be protecting. of course, this doesn't negate his good qualities, it just bears repeating that his flaws do exist, and they're pretty serious.

fanon moony is always pleasant and kind and soft-spoken and bookish, and he always has to have his chocolate. he knows when to tell off his friends, and he'll do it, even if he's secretly amused by everything they do and laughs about it with his best friend, lily evans, who coincidentally spends all her time with them so he and sirius can go on double dates with james and lily and no one has to remember peter exists.

why. theseus' ship 2.0. does the actual character still exist or is this something entirely different thing bearing the same name?

as for peter, who needs peter pettigrew, the actual, legitimate, fourth marauder when you have lily evans? canon pettigrew is opportunistic as fuck. he's latching himself to the biggest bad on the block and he's going all in. for teenage peter, that was james and sirius, and for adult peter, that's voldemort. canon peter is good enough at transfiguration to master the animagus transformation, just like his friends, and he's good enough at potions to brew the potion that gives voldemort a body. and honestly, you can't say he wasn't brave. he could've run off somewhere and died, or changed his identity or something after he faked his death and framed sirius, but, no. he goes and resurrects voldemort. that's fucked up, yeah, but it happened and honestly, i respect that it. he stuck to his guns.

fanon wormtail is lucky if he exists beyond being a spineless sycophant for james and sirius, or an evil conniving little rat who's looking to toss his entire friend group to the wolves at eleven.

of course, this isn't meant to negate his bad qualities, he still murdered people and framed sirius and sold out the potters to die, but his good characteristics do exist, and james, sirius and remus genuinely were his friends.

and now, we get to lily and james.

we have hardly any information on either of them. they're a pair of cardboard cutouts that we can paint and stick flyers to and colour outside the lines however we want. we can do whatever the fuck, as long lily is brave and smart and somewhat kind and james is brave and willing to die for his family. we were essentially handed a pair of ocs.

and yet.

what little bits of canon we have are thrown out of the window regardless.

james is privileged and rich, and he throws hexes for fun. he's willing to hex lily when she disagrees with him, and then, he goes behind her back to continue hexing snape after she believes that he's stopped doing so. and that's all we know about him until he dies for his family at twenty-one years old. once again, say it with me: this does not negate his good qualities. he definitely had them, he took sirius in when sirius ran away from home, he became an animagus to keep remus company as a wolf, and he saved snape in the shack, thereby saving remus and sirius by extension. him having flaws does not make him a bad person.

fanon prongs is a feminist. he fights for equal rights for women everywhere, and he constantly treats his girlfriend, lily, like an absolute queen. he's the hottest boy in school and everyone claps when he walks through the halls. mcgonagall and dumbledore are always patting him on the back and making jokes with him. he has a built-in dark detector that helps him sense when someone is a evil and needs to he punished.

give me a break. the dude's cool and all, but was the gary stu treatment necessary?

...oh, he needed to match fanon lily? right, right.

canon lily is a contradiction unto herself. she's supposedly a great friend, but since we see her at a point where they were already drifting apart, we see her putting little effort into keeping their friendship afloat. she victim blames based on rumours, she doesn't seem to care over much about what snape has to say about the people who have been tormenting him since day one. and she's justified, of course, she doesn't have to stick around. canon lily is a bit of hypocrite, she says that snape calls everyone of her birth mudblood, but then that begs the question why she still hangs around with him if that's the case. he calls her mudblood, she retaliates by calling him snivellus, and finishes up with a dig about his underwear, which, sure, it's kicking a man with a rusty spoon and pouring salt in the wound, but she's, again, justified. i get where she was coming from. and then, of course, she dies for her kid after marrying the guy who relentlessly bullied her quote-unquote best friend for their entire school careers. but, like i said, canon lily is, in many ways, a contradiction.

lily is basically a plot device. she pushes everyone's narrative but her own, and does little else.

of course, this trend would continue in fanon. fanon lily exists to be the perfect girl who gets really angry over the slightest injustice, and of course, she gets to be one half of one of the oldest enemies-to-lovers "it was just sexual tension" cliche pairings in the book. she's just,,, a mary sue. in so many fics, so many headcanons, she's just pettigrew's stand-in, a girl to form a gang with marlene, mary and dorcas—who happen to be more undeveloped ocs who also get the woobify mary sue treatment—to parallel the marauders. there is nothing compelling about her character when she's presented as a saint, and even less when she's supposedly the other moral compass for the marauders that doesn't actually work because she thinks that james is cute.

and this brings me to the next topic. jily. what, why, how. this was supposed to be a healthy, happy relationship that would have lasted in the long run? absolutely not. even for its time, i can't say that i see it lasting.

first of all, jkr presents james' crush on lily as just that: a crush. a mildly obsessive one, but a crush nonetheless, which she tries to liken to the pulling of pigtails. and then, we see that james' way of getting her to go out with him consists of blackmail, and when that doesn't work, he resorts to threatening her. this could have been set aside if he had actually, genuinely changed when they started spending more time together, but as we're told by sirius and remus, he didn't. he just got better at hiding what he was up to. and it has to be that he hid it, because if she knew, this further damages the character that she's set up to have and paints her out to be either unable to stand up to him or an enabler.

regardless, they get married. and while i have trouble believing that it was out of genuine love, there are scenarios that could make some semblance of sense. it's wartime, after all, and maybe lily is worried about her stability in the wizarding world, so why not marry into an established family whose son is already showing interest? or perhaps, she falls into the trap of every bad boy cliche ever, and she thinks to herself, well, i got him to be better then, maybe i can get him to do even better in the future. or maybe, she doesn't get into a relationship with him immediately and sees him on and off, until eventually, she accidentally gets pregnant and they scramble to have a shotgun wedding so as not to leave lily alone at nineteen with a baby. or maybe they marry each other because they're there and sure, neither of then is ready and they don't know what love even is but what else is there to do when there's a dark lord about? anyways, the point is, they get married.

and then what? if we count pottermore into canon, he goes on to further damage her relationship with petunia and vernon, to the point where she ends up crying. if we don't, she fades into the background enough that nobody has anything to say about her. she's harry's mum, she's james' wife, lily potter, she was kind and smart and brave and that's it. her agency is gone, anything else we have of her personality is gone.

jily just,,, wasn't built to last. and, yeah, this,,, this is a hill i'll die on.

same with wolfstar, honestly. there are so many reasons why it wouldn't work, but fanon has made it so fucking prevalent that it's literally everywhere no matter where you look.

first of all, i've said it before and i'll say it again. sirius is more likely to get with james that he is to ever end up in a relationship with remus. their chemistry is just,,, underdeveloped. net zero for a relationship.

secondly, sirius instigated the werewolf prank, and lupin would have paid the price for it. this could have been overlooked, but he doesn't seem the slightest bit guilty about any of it when it's brought up in poa. he could have been responsible for lupin losing the security of his place at hogwarts in the best case scenario, and in the worst case, his life. and he seems to look forward to full moons, even though they clearly aren't pleasant for remus, which,,, yeah, you're going to have fun, but like, maybe be concerned about the fact that your friend undergoes excruciating pain and it isn't a pleasant time for him? read the room, my g.

thirdly, they don't trust each other as much as fanon seems to think they do. they were both willing to believe each other the traitor before ever suspecting pettigrew. sirius thought remus gave away the potters, hell, he thought remus was a spy for voldemort, and remus was convinced that sirius was a mass murderer. neither of them needed to be convinced.

fourthly, maybe i'm reading too much into it, but like. sirius had money. remus had no money, since, yk, he was a werewolf and struggling for cash and still, sirius,,, did not leave him any money. i feel like if you had money to spare, you would give to your friend who is literally poor. but, again, maybe i'm reading too much into it and this isn't as valid a point as i think it is.

and ehh, the fifth reason is that it's,,, actually very much not the representation for the ltgbt community that fanon says it is but y'all aren't ready for that conversation.

anyways, just,,, even when you set the couple shit aside, the power dynamics between everyone here is fucked. like, james and sirius are clearly at the top of food chain calling the shots and egging each other on. then there's lily, who isn't even a marauder, but is always ever-so-slightly above remus but still not on their level, because, well. neither of them actually listen to her. remus is the novelty friend, the friend who's,,, alright, i guess, but you keep them around specifically because they're funny or they can dance or they have something that you can either show off to other people or keep as your little inside joke, your little secret, yk? and peter is just sort of there. like, yeah, he can do what we can but does that make him as good as we are? no. does he have a funny little something about him that we can exploit? nah. therefore he sits at the bottom. and like, yeah, james and sirius are on the same level, but james is yanking sirius' chain, not the other way around. anyways, like i said. power dynamic's fucked and it bothers me that we were given all of this, and fanon decided to take it all and throw it away so they could give us flamboyant!badboi!sirius black x softboi!motherhen!remus lupin going on double dates with feminist!trustfundbaby!james potter and saint!lily evans while ignoring peter pettiwho?

theseus' fucking ship, indeed.

anyways, this needed to be said. it might not make as much sense as i want it to, considering it's 4:12 in the morning as i'm posting this, after taking a break from writing to do some research and coming across way too much content about fanon marauders, but it's here and it still makes enough sense that you can read it and understand what i mean. and like, at the end of the day, you can go ahead and headcanon whatever you please, you can write fic and make art and do whatever you like, just,,, remember that they're exactly that. headcanons. stop presenting fanon as canon. please. i'm literally begging. we actually have evidence against it. just,,, acknowledge that they're headcanons and stop putting them forward as though they're able to fit into canon. please.

[jackrrabbit]

cuffing season /// Ushijima x f!Reader (18+)

Summary: [Shiratorizawa fanweek day 5—Firsts] You convince your boyfriend to try something new in the bedroom, but as it turns out, old habits die hard.

A/N: Heard it was Shiratorizawa week 👀 technically I did originally post this on day 5, but I had to repost bc of tag issues, whoops :P Let’s pray it works this time!! edit: apparently it’s still not listed in the tags :<

The song that I mention is Bruno Major’s Old Fashioned (although it doesn’t fit the tone of this fic in the least).

Tags/warnings: mild bondage, size kink, rough sex!!!, marking (bruises/hickeys/etc.), power play/power exchange, reader tries & fails to dom Mr. Ushijima 😳, all characters are adults

Look, Ushijima’s a great boyfriend. Perfect, almost. Sure, he may not be the most expressive guy, but you’ve been dating him long enough that you’re able to pick up on the little gestures that tell you that he cares about you—the way he presses his face into your hair when you hug him after you’ve been apart for a while; his hands stroking circles into your skin when you fall asleep in bed next to him; all of it. He’s everything you could possibly look for in a man, except for one not-so-little issue:

The sex.

Because Ushijima, your sweet, wonderful boyfriend, who kisses you so gently it’s like he thinks you’ll fall apart if he’s not infinitely careful with you, is for some reason incapable of exercising the same degree of restraint (or any restraint at all) when you’re in bed together. When it comes to sex, your boyfriend is a fucking animal. And you’re not really sure how much more you can handle.

Maybe your concerns would seem petty from an outsider’s perspective. It’s not like Ushijima doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer, and it’s not like you don’t want to have sex. You’re attracted to him, of course you are! Almost 76 inches and 190 pounds of pure muscle, a body that looks like Michelangelo could have carved it from marble, and that beautifully solemn expression that had you salivating over him from the stands before you even knew his name? You want to have sex with him, you’re just fairly certain you can’t, not when it always ends up with you completely and utterly wrecked, so spent you don’t even have the strength to lift your hips off the mattress so he can wipe his cum off your thighs.

Look, anyone in your position would feel the same way. It’s awful and you’ll never admit it to him, but you almost broke up with him after the first time you two fucked. You knew going in that it wouldn’t be easy—the man radiates big dick energy and boy did he deliver—but it was just too much.

That first time had started off so innocuously, with you inviting him to your place for a nightcap after your sixth date. You’d set candles and put on your romantic sex playlist for a nice backdrop to let him hold you in his lap and make out—how the hell had you gone from that to having him rut you into the mattress, your belly pressed into the sheets and ass arched up so he could pound into you so forcefully that your rickety bed smacked into the wall hard enough to rattle the furniture with every movement, and you couldn’t even hear it over the sound of your own moaning? You hadn’t changed the playlist, and it felt downright obscene to listen to Bruno Major croon about love and courtship while Ushijima fucked into you like he was trying to carve the shape of his cock into your pussy.

You’d had to call in sick the next day because you could barely walk. The bruises from where he held your hips had taken weeks to fade, and by that time he’d already given you new ones. To his credit, Ushijima felt bad when he saw the evidence of how rough he’d been and he promised to take it easy on you next time…but after a few more rounds of mind-numbingly savage sex you learned that the man apparently doesn’t know what ‘take it easy’ means.

To be fair, at least some of it is your fault. You really shouldn’t have offered to go on the pill as a three-month anniversary present to him. At least before, he had to give you a break while he changed condoms after he came; now he has no reason to hesitate, instead going for round two (and sometimes round three) without pulling out. You never thought you’d see superhuman stamina as a bad thing, but…

“You don’t get it! It’s like getting fucked by a stallion. I need to plan to have three days to recover whenever I take him home with me,” you whined to your friends over cocktails when they told you you shouldn’t complain about a good thing—after all, Ushijima is just as committed to your pleasure as he is to his own, and there’s never been an occasion where he didn’t get you off before fucking you himself (probably at least a little because there’s no way in hell you’d be relaxed enough to take him otherwise).

“Can’t you just tell him to go slower?” one of your friends asked. “If he doesn’t listen to you, then that’s fucked up and you need to dump him.”

“It’s not that he doesn’t listen. If I tell him to stop, he stops,” you sighed, stirring your drink with the straw and watching the decorative sprig of mint fall under the surface to be overtaken by a chip of ice. “It’s like he can’t go slower. He’s not adjustable—it’s either crazy brutal or nothing, and then neither of us get what we want. Like a vibrator you can’t turn off the highest level. I don’t even think he realizes in the moment how intense it is for me.”

“Aren’t you ever on top? You can set the pace.”

“I’ve tried, but Ushi just—“ you made a gripping motion with your hands and mimicked raising something up and setting it down vigorously— “like, bounces me.”

One of them raised an eyebrow and then her eyes widened. She turned to your other friend and the two of them whispered to each other for a bit, then shifted back to you. “Tie him up,” she said with the air of an elder imparting sage knowledge, and your other friend nodded.

“Oh, come on.” You rolled your eyes.

“I’m serious. Guys usually love it when girls are in control, you just need to take the initiative. Get him tied down and then you can show him exactly how you like it. Let him feel like he’s at your mercy for once.”

The idea had seemed unthinkable at the time, but you hadn’t been able to forget it—which is why after weeks of contemplation, hours of research, and a single extremely awkward trip to a sex shop, you’re now crouching over Ushijima’s naked chest, wrapping a leather cuff around one of his wrists.

“Are you sure that this is something you want to do?” Ushijima asks in that weighty baritone that makes you shiver with need. He doesn’t pull away, but he eyes your actions warily as you thread the chain of the cuffs around a rung in the center of your headboard and reach over to do the other side.

“…Yes,” you tell him, a little less firmly than you would have liked, and you lick your lips to try to make up for how suddenly dry your mouth is. “Anyway, isn’t that my line? We don’t have to do the cuffs if you don’t want to. I won’t force you.”

“It’s alright. You and I both know you couldn’t force me, (Y/N).” Dark eyes pin you down and it’s incredibly unfair how much power he has over you even when he’s the one chained to the bed.

Ushijima’s right, obviously—if he didn’t want to be exactly where he is right now, he wouldn’t be. You’re sure as hell not strong enough to force him to do anything he doesn’t want to, but he didn’t have to say it like that.

“Okay then…good,” you reply, adjusting the straps of the cuffs to accommodate for how stupidly thick his wrists are. When you’re satisfied that they won’t chafe but he can’t get out of them without your help, you sit back next to his chest and admire your handiwork. Ushijima lays on his back, naked, relaxed, even with his arms stretched up to your headboard and cuffed there. He looks good, mouthwateringly good, and you’re ready to get your hands on him when you remember there’s something you need to get straight first. “Wait, before we—before I do anything, remember— what do you say if you want me to stop?”

“…Vanilla,” Ushijima says, reciting the safeword you decided on when you were hammering out details, although the look in his half-lidded eyes is telling you very clearly that he has no intention of needing to use it.

Privately you agree, but everything you’ve read on the kink blogs you’ve been trolling for research tells you that a responsible adult doesn’t put cuffs on their partner without deciding on a safeword first, and you’re determined to do this by the book. “Good boy,” you say, and the diminutive feels awkward in your mouth until you see Ushijima’s reaction—the flash in his eyes, a minuscule hitch in his breathing next to you, and the scrape of metal against wood as he gives a light pull at the cuffs.

With everything safe and accounted for, you give a final tug to the chain to ensure it’s secure, then inch back and swing one leg over the broad expanse of his chest so you’re straddling his abdomen (and he’s so damn big that there’s a twinge of soreness in your thighs just from sitting on top of him). Fuck, he looks good like this, all spread out and pinned underneath you, so masculine and bulky that you’re feeling your pussy get wet just from watching him watching you.

It’s not often you get to appreciate him like this—usually you’re too focused on not losing your mind from how deeply he’s fucking you—so you savor it, massaging his shoulders and sliding your fingers down his sides, tracing the smooth skin with a feather-light touch and then dipping to kiss under his jaw. Feeling more than a little devious, you let your teeth graze over the thin skin at the base of his neck and with your chest pressed into his, it’s not hard to feel his sharp intake of breath.

“The marks...my teammates will notice.”

“Maybe I should stop, then,” you murmur against his skin, lifting up just enough to brush over his nipples. He stiffens, and once again you hear him tugging at the cuffs.

“…Don’t. I want them to see,” Ushijima says, and once you have his permission you don’t waste any time in latching your mouth to his skin and sucking. It’s been ages since you’ve given anyone a hickey. Usually you’re the one marked up like a teenager after Ushijima has his way with you, so this is a nice change of pace, especially when you can feel him flexing underneath you.

Well, kissing is nice…but you’re getting impatient and you know he is too. Once you’re satisfied that your hickeys are going to show up nice and bright red around his neck like a collar, you sit back, walking your hands back on his chest, stroking over his abdomen and giving a little roll of your ass on top of him. Ushijima’s hips twitch—unconsciously, you wonder?—and he glares at you in a way that tells you in no uncertain terms to hurry up and let him fuck you.

And damn it, something about that look has you feeling weak. Needy. Obedient. But this time you’re supposed to be in charge, so you smirk and lift your hips, pulling your body back so his cock is nestled between your legs, not quite touching your pussy. He’s already hard—no surprises there, considering how intently he’s watching you as you mess with him—but you only take a second to stroke his cock up and down before shifting up so he can see you slick your fingers up in your own pussy.

“(Y/N)…” Ushijima’s voice is low, annoyed, and he looks hungry. But you’re so amazed at how wet you are under your own fingers that you don’t bother to pay attention to him shifting his position under you to try to get stimulation. Your juices are literally slicking up your own thighs, just from chaining up your boyfriend and teasing him a little? You should have done this a long time ago.

You push two fingers into your pussy and pump them a few times, making sure to angle your hips so Ushijima can see them go in and out. The stretch is almost uncomfortable for a second and you wince a little before schooling your expression, knowing you’re about to have something a lot bigger than two fingers stretching you open. Ushijima catches it though, and he frowns, trying to sit up before remembering the cuffs that are holding him back. “Let me—let me do it for you—“

“No, stay down,” you say quickly, using your other hand to push him back into the mattress while you continue to touch yourself. Ushijima lets you (and there’s no doubt in your mind that he is letting you), but his eyes narrow as he zeroes in on the way your fingers are glistening with your own pussy juices.

God, you’re—you’re supposed to be in control, aren’t you? So then you shouldn’t be feeling like this, eyes drifting closed as you fuck yourself on your fingers, letting your lower knuckles rub against your clit while you try to curl them to rub against your g-spot. Ushijima’s been spoiling you…you can’t remember the last time you’ve had to do this yourself, and as you feel the tension building up slowly you catch yourself wishing it were him fingering you instead.

His fingers are just so thick. And long, and so rough. You bite your lip thinking about the way he does it when he preps you to take his cock, mashing his palm into your clit, petting along inside you and scissoring his fingers and… “Mmh,” you hum, holding back a real moan for Ushijima’s sake.

There’s another click of the chain sliding over the headboard wood and it reminds you that he’s right there, you could just uncuff him and he could touch you and fill you up with those thick fingers, make you cum, make you cry. But the urge to seek your own pleasure is outweighed by the image he’s making as he looks at you, his expression almost angry in its intensity now that he’s watching you do this to yourself and he has no way to get his hands on you.

“Ahh—“ you whine, letting a real whimper out at the thought of what you’re doing to him. “Ushi, Ushi, do you wanna touch? Wanna touch me?”

His head ducks into a hasty nod and his jaw clenches at the strain of having to ask for what he wants instead of just taking it like usual.

The longer you touch yourself, the closer you’re getting…but you don’t want to cum, not just yet. You draw your fingers out of your dripping cunt and open them up in a V, showing off the juices that connect them, the evidence of how wet you are for him. “Mmm, I don’t think so. I think there’s something else I want in me instead.”

And then you’re reaching to the side for the lube, squeezing a healthy dollop into your palm and then wrapping your hand around Ushiijma’s cock. And—fuck, he’s big. Sure, you’ve had sex with him plenty, but no matter how often you take him, you never stop feeling absolutely torn up after. A tingle of trepidation races up your spine at the thought of riding him like this—can you even put it in by yourself?

Even just looking at it is intimidating. He’s painfully hard, cock flushed red and bobbing up against his lower stomach every time you let it go, and, Jesus, how is it even possible that this thing would fit inside you? When you wrap your hand around him your fingers don’t touch; he must be thicker around than your own wrist.

Halfway. That’ll going to be your goal tonight, to take him halfway. And even that…is going to be a stretch.

The anxiety must show on your face because once again you’ve got Ushijima straining at the cuffs. “(Y/N)—“ he spits as you stroke him up, nudging your palm against the tip. “(Y/N), you need to finish first. Let me make you cum.”

“No, this time I want to—I’m gonna cum on your cock,” you say, adjusting your position so you’re kneeling above him, the head of his cock sliding between your lips. “Gonna cum on your big cock, Ushi, okay?”

His cock jumps in your hand at the provocation. He’s glaring at you, but he’s also leaking precum, the sticky fluid mixing with the lubricant. You give Ushijima a moment to say the safeword if he really doesn’t want you to, and when he stays quiet you raise yourself up a little more and line the head of his cock up with your weeping slit. You hold your pussy lips open with your fingers, easing your thighs down and pressing the head into you and—

“Oh—oh—oh, fuck, oh fuck, Ushi—“ you stutter out helplessly.

It’s been almost two weeks since he last fucked you. One week, six days and about three hours, and at the moment this measure of time seems unreasonably important because it’s been almost two weeks since you last let Ushijima split you in half with his ridiculously huge cock.

You’re not ready, should’ve prepped more, should’ve let him make you cum like he said—fuck, it feels like you’re losing your virginity—and the mixture of dismay and relief that spills over you when the thick swell of his head pushes past that tight ring of muscle is almost nauseating.

The tip? Seriously, just the fucking tip, and you’re already delirious, shaking, your thighs quivering on either side of his. It’s taking all of your strength to keep from going slack—but you know if you do, his whole cock is going to slide up into you and even thinking about that has your cunt clenching and unclenching around what you’re able to fit inside.

“Do you need help?” Despite the strain in Ushijima’s voice at being teased like this, there’s an undercurrent of amusement. He clearly doesn’t have faith in your ability to take him deeper by yourself.

It’s this—this quiet arrogance, this belief that he knows what’s best for you and he’s the only one who can give it to you—that gives you the guts to convince yourself to lower yourself down onto his his cock until you’re literally gasping for air. It fucking hurts, but you’re not going to give him the satisfaction of hearing you say it; instead, you brace your hands against the stiff muscle of his chest and try to focus on the way his cockhead is pressing into your g-spot.

Halfway…he’s gotta be at least halfway in, right? You sneak a glance up at him and bite back a curse at the look on his face, serious as ever, so focused on the place where your pussy is reluctantly eating up his cock that you feel your insides tense up around him again.

You don’t even know how it’s possible for you to get tighter around him but somehow you must be able to, because you hear Ushijima grunt underneath you, and his muscles contract under your palms as he tries again to sit up. When he can’t, he hisses in frustration. “Move…now. Or I won’t be able to control myself.”

Funny, aren’t you supposed to be the one controlling him? But it sure as hell doesn’t feel that way when you’re barely able to stay upright just from trying to ride his cock. You nod desperately, chin jutting up and down like a bobblehead, and lift your hips up off his cock until just the tip is left inside. When you push yourself back down you can’t help whimpering at the feeling of him stretching you, sliding up into you, that stiff, wet cockhead dragging over your g-spot.

By now the pain has faded into an uncomfortable stretch, like leaning too heavily into a foreign pose in yoga, enough that you’re able to feel the arousal building in the pit of your belly and hold onto it as you rock your hips up and down him. The pace is slow—almost too slow; you marvel at yourself for wanting it faster—and there’s a fair amount of Ushijima’s cock that you’re not able to take, but this is really all you can handle.

“Mmm, Ushi, fuck, you’re so big, so big and hard inside me, feels so good on your cock—“ you moan, knowing you sound less like the dominant partner in this position and more like you’re teasing him, pushing his limits.

Ushijima’s breathing is heavy. Labored. He’s trying to hold himself back. “(Y/N), deeper—take me deeper, now.”

Part of your brain vaguely recognizes that he isn’t supposed to be giving the orders here, but you’re too drunk on the feeling of fucking yourself on his cock to complain, so you lower your hips and try, but it feels like you’re just too weak to do it yourself. “Ushi please, it’s too much, too big, I can’t, please—“

And your pleading must sound like an invitation, because his eyes flash and you feel him shifting the position of his legs behind you—and then he bucks his hips up and his cock sinks into your cunt, pushing up into your gooey insides until the head is pressing into the tight opening of your cervix.

“Ahn—?” you squeal, startled. What? He—what? Fuck, it’s deep, it’s so deep, you can’t hold yourself up so you flop downward, holding onto his shoulders for dear life, “ohhh Ushi pleasepleaseplease” and you barely hear yourself over the lubed-up slap of his pelvis against your skin.

Fuck, it feels like he’s knocking the breath out of you. Feels like you can’t fucking breathe like his cock isn’t just pushing against your stomach but your lungs too, can’t breathe so you bear down on his shoulders try to hold yourself up try to let yourself adjust but—

Ushijima’s in control now.

Not that he ever wasn’t, you’d think if you were capable of thinking except you’re not because as you try to situate yourself make yourself relax around that monster cock filling you up, he’s not giving you a moment to catch your breath, instead thrusting up into you at his usual breakneck pace. Apparently he doesn’t need to use his hands to make you bounce—you’re not even moving yourself now, just trying to hold still as his hips slam his cock inside you again and again and again, and again, rubbing up against that sweet spot in your pussy so quickly that you think you might go crazy from it.

“Nngh, so tight,” he growls, and you can tell from the way the words are choked out that he’s gritting his teeth. You almost want to roll your eyes—of course you’re tight, anyone would feel tight around him—but it feels like if you do your eyes might roll back in your head so you don’t.

Jesus fuck, you can’t even understand how long it’s been but you do know that it’s absurd for you to want to cum already, only the thick mass of his cock pushing into you is somehow hitting all the right buttons, just like it always does. Even if it’s rough you want more. By now you’re trying to meet his thrusts, rolling your hips in time with him fucking you open, doing your best to participate but really it’s all you can do to even stay still with how roughly he’s fucking you. “Ushi, fuck, so deep, wanna cum I wanna cum please let me cum—“

“Touch yourself,” he commands breathlessly because he’s still tied to the headboard and he can’t do it, and you barely have the strength to pick one of your hands up off of where you’re scratching into his shoulder and pull it down to rub at your clit.

It’s not enough and you whimper desperately, you don’t want your own fingers, you want Ushijima’s, you want him to touch you. You’re probably saying it out loud by now, begging him to put his hands on you—his eyes widen and then the sound of the metal cuff chain grating over wood reaches you—you can see the skin of his wrists get lighter from lack of blood flow, he’s pulling at the cuffs, pulling too hard, he’s going to hurt himself, you have to stop him—and then you hear a snap.

Aw, shit. The bed.

The thought comes in a singular moment of clarity as you watch the rung Ushijima’s chained to separate itself from the rest of the headboard, splintering, the nail that held it in place looking pathetically flimsy next to the veins bulging in his arms as he slides the chain away from it. He flexes his hands, forming fists and then unclenching them to restore the interrupted blood flow, and then you’ve only got a second to prepare yourself before he’s upright, dragging your hips up to meet his.

“Ushi, Ushi, Ushi, I want, please, I want you,” you beg, but you didn’t really have to because you’re pretty sure there’s no force on Earth that could stop him from holding you up so he can fuck down into you with a ferocity that could be mistaken for anger if you weren’t certain it was really lust.

The entire bed is creaking and rocking against the force of his movement, but you don’t really have the headspace to worry about more property damage considering he’s got you supporting yourself on the mattress on your back and shoulders, your spine curled up so he can kneel and still have your hips aligned with his, your legs dangling bonelessly on either side of him.

Fuck. Holy fuck. You open your mouth but words don’t come out, only a choked whimper, but if you could speak you’d be saying yesyesyesyesyes, touch me.

Despite your inability to speak, Ushijima picks up on what you need and then along with his cock carving its way in and out of you you’re getting the feeling of his fingers padding over your clit. Rough and callused, not gentle, nothing like the way you touched yourself earlier, but you’re starting to realize you don’t mind the aggression. In fact, it’s good, it’s so good, so good you’re gonna cum.

You’re gonna cum.

A long, drawn-out whine is spilling out of your lips before you can stop it; you wrap your hand over your own mouth out of shame or maybe courtesy to your neighbors (although by now they’ve probably invested in earplugs after listening to you squeal like a pig on Ushijima’s cock dozens of times in the past). Still, as your climax rocks through you shove your thumb between your teeth to bite down on it, but the sharp pain is nothing compared to the pleasure.

“Ushiiiii—“ you sob around your own fingers. Your spine arches—or rather, you try to arch your back but you can’t, not with Ushijima’s full body weight pressing into you and keeping you pinned to the mattress.

It hurts, it feels good, you’re seeing stars, you’re hearing Ushijima snarl as your pussy tightens up and convulses on his cock. His one-handed grip on your ass gets painfully tight as he abandons whatever pretense of restraint he had left and pumps his cock into you so hard and fast you’re pretty sure the headboard isn’t going to be the only thing broken, but you don’t fucking care because you’re cumming, you’re cumming, you’re cumming so hard you think you black out for a second, holy fuck.

It’s only when you hear Ushijima’s panting breath and feel him pulling your hand away from your mouth that you regain your grip on reality. “You’re bleeding,” he says, holding your hand up and inspecting the shallow indentations your teeth made on your thumb.

“…You broke my bed,” you reply tiredly once you’ve gotten in a lungful of air, what feels like the first full breath you’ve been able to take since he put his cock inside you.

“I’m sorry,” Ushijima tells you, although he doesn’t look particularly sorry.

You roll your eyes. “Did you cum?”

“Yes. When you did.” Without him holding you up there’s nothing to prevent you from sliding down off his softening (but still unfairly impressive) cock. You’re certainly not strong enough to keep yourself in position.

Even if he hadn’t confirmed it, you’d still be able to feel the familiar heat of his semen plastering your insides, and once your still-sensitive pussy is exposed to the cool air your inner muscles squeeze involuntarily but hard enough to force some of his cum out—you sense it, hot and thick, dripping out of your pussy to smear against your thighs. “Can we take a bath?” you ask, knowing you’ll barely be able to walk over to the bathroom, much less stand under the shower unassisted.

Ushijima nods and moves off the bed. “I can carry you,” he adds when you try to stand up and your knees almost give out before you flop back onto the mattress.

At this angle, with you sitting and him standing in front, it’s difficult not to see that despite cumming literally less than two minutes ago, he’s already getting stiff again. Jesus, is he even human? After how hard you just came, the thought of letting him fuck you again is giving you something stronger than butterflies, but you look up at him and offer anyway. “Wait, do you…um, want to go for another round?”

Ushijima’s gaze meets yours and then travels over your body underneath him. You must look like a mess—sweaty, hair all fucked up and tangled, body still shaking with the aftershocks of your climax and barely able to sit comfortably on your aching pussy—and you guess he sees how jittery (nervous?) you feel because for the first time since your relationship started, he shakes his head to turn down an offer of sex. “No, I’ll take care of it. Let’s clean up first.”

“Okay,” you sigh, releasing a breath you didn’t realize you were holding and raising your arms to let him pick you up.

“(Y/N).”

When Ushijima doesn’t move to carry you, you frown. “Hm?”

“The cuffs.”

Oh, right. The black leather is wrapped around both of his wrists, chain still intact. Apparently these cuffs are stronger than your headboard. Good quality. Too bad they’re going in the trash. You make quick work of the release and then undo the straps carefully, massaging over the light pink marks on your boyfriend’s wrists once they’re free.

“Sorry, did it hurt you? I didn’t mean to—I mean, I just wanted…” You trail off, feeling infinitely embarrassed that despite all your claims of dominating him, he still ended up with the upper hand, cuffs or no cuffs. And you liked submitting to him. There’s no denying that.

“It didn’t. And…I enjoyed having you on top,” Ushijima tells you, lifting you effortlessly into a princess-carry now that his arms are free.

“Yeah right. We’re never using those again,” you scoff, tucking your head into his chest as he carries you to the bathroom. “My boss is going to get mad that I keep taking sick days every time I have sex with you. I’m just going to throw the cuffs out.”

From your position, so close to him, you can barely see the upward quirk of his mouth that would be as good as laughter for anyone else. “Don’t get rid of them. I think…next time, I would like to have you wearing them, (Y/N).”

Well, fuck.

[realcube]

haikyuu!! characters with a chubby! s/o 💗

characters: tsukishima, oikawa, atsumu, osamu & suna

thank you anon for this cute request 🥺

tw// comfort, fluff, angst if you squint, insecure! reader, swearing, they/them reader but reader wears a dress (in osamu’s)

(a/n): anon requested comfort but i feel bad bc i’m writing this like ‘no, (y/n)! stop being sad! you’re beautiful! 😡’ then i remember that i can just select+delete the pain away💗💖

Kei Tsukishima

let’s not pretend like tsukki gives a fuck what you look like tbh ✋

like nobody is ‘perfect’ and everyone is insecure (to varying degrees) so why would he care about your weight?

nobody ticks every single box to meet society’s definition of ‘beauty’  

plus, tsukki thought beauty standards were stupid away so he created his own - and you meet every single one 💖

in fact, almost everyone meets his beauty standards - besides himself ‘:)

he seriously doesn’t care about your weight tbh, it’s the most trivial thing so why would he care?

although, he wasn’t naïve enough to think that everyone was like-minded

your front of ‘i don’t care about what other people think of me’ was strong enough to fool even the most observant of poeple, including tsukki

however, tsukishima failed to take into consideration that you were his girlfriend, meaning that you could be playing the same game as him; ‘pretend to not care about superficial things like beauty so nobody will think for a second that you are insecure about your body’

he wasn’t one to give compliments but neither were you tbh so the mutual agreement y’all have of ‘let’s call each other names as a form of endearment to avoid those awkward moments were you are looking for the right words for praise but can’t come up with anything’  was fair

but after you accidentally sent him a self-deprecating ‘joke’ message that was clearly meant for a friend, he never passed up the opportunity to compliment you ever again

like he kinda just stared at the message like 😮 ‘does (y/n) seriously care about their weight? why? it doesn’t even matter. how stupid! who told them that the shape of their body is important? bc it’s not..’

then he turns to look in the mirror like ‘wow you srsly need to put on muscle, lanky bitch. or else (y/n) will probably leave you for some built jackass like kuroo. pick up some weights, noodle arms!’

anyway, he’s not too good with words and comfort in situations like these but he’ll probably reply to your text with something out-of-character and surprisingly sweet

to paraphrase (bc the actual text would probably be like a whole damn persuasive essay LMAO he starts with the introduction, makes five points and finishes with a conclusion pfft) , i think it would be something like: ‘hey, (y/n). ik that text was probably meant for one of your friends (but if they’re the ones making you feel bad about your weight then you should probably drop those toxic cunts anyway 💅✨) but i just wanted to say that even though you are the biggest clown i’ve ever met (/j) you’re still v beautiful 💗 stop being insecure or i’ll pass away ⚰💀 ok thx love you bye’

Tōru Oikawa

how are you insecure if you’re dating oikawa? /j

like he is such a hypeman

whenever y’all take pics in your ✨fancy outfits ✨ for formal event, he acts as though you are second most beautiful thing on the face of this earth 😍 (second to him ofc)

but he only does that so he can keep up the reputation he has of being effortlessly confident bc he’s scared that if it slips for even a second, everyone will see how truly insecure he is

truthfully, in his eyes, you come first place by miles (❤ ω ❤)

like srsly, you’re so gorgeous in that dress!! he hopes that you know that he is joking about the whole ‘second place’ thing bc you should be able to tell by the way he looks at you that you’re genuinely the most striking person he’s ever laid his eyes on 

you never acted overly confident in front of him but he definitely didn’t think you were as insecure as you are

he thought you were just..humble :)

sometimes he’d hear you mutter something mean about yourself as you passed the mirror but he paid no mind to it as he figured that you just cared about your appearance and wanted to maintain a certain image

however, once he was made aware that you didn’t want to maintain your image but rather, change it - he never let you murmur anything nasty about yourself under your breath ever again, not without proceeding to tackle you to the ground and shower you with his love, affection & praise 💞💕❤

and he never made a ‘second place’ joke ever again, he started his honesty streak by reassuring you that you’ll always be the number one in his eyes 🤩

also, after that, he was a lot more open about his own insecurities with you and you made sure to respect them and help him in a similar way that he did

there is just so much love and admiration between the two of you and at first you were both to shy to express it but now, you both are showering each other in compliments 24/7 bc you both just want the other one to know how perfect you view them as (❁´◡`❁)

Atsumu Miya

atsumu is a hypeman like oikawa but...better :)

IT’S BC HE HAS NO SHAME

he’ll compliment you on anything you wear and he makes it a point to use the most inappropriate compliment as possible, relative to the outfit you’re wearing

so if you’re wearing your pyjamas, he’ll call you ‘glamourous’

if you are wearing a swimsuit, he’ll call you ‘elegant’

if you’re in your work clothes/school uniform, he’ll call you ‘sexy’

and if you’re in lingerie, he’ll call you ‘adorable’

but it makes you blush so hey, no complaints

so when he finds out that you’re actually insecure about your weight, he’s just like ‘no ❤’

like he hates the idea that when you look in the mirror, you don’t see the god(dess) he sees

like why? it’s the same person

💞 fuck ‘perception’ 💞

💕 ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ TF YOU ARE THE FUCKING BEAUTY💕

grrr he was so mad  

but he was also soft 

he was like ‘if (y/n) insecure? then why hot? then why pretty? then why fit perfectly into my arms?’

plus, THIGHS

he’d never diss a person bc they had small thighs or anything BUT he’d also NEVER complain about being given the chance to be with someone with some good thighs 👍

tbh the best could do to help was compliment you ten times harder to eliMINATE ALL YOUR INSECURIES 

(and ofc i don’t mean that in a way - for example - if you’re insecure about your nose, he’ll fkn chop it off......he won’t chop your nose off LMAO he’ll just show you how much he loves it, to the point where you have no choice but to love it too ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ )

anyway, plz love (or at least, tolerate) yourself or else he’ll suffocate you with all his love and affection :D

Osamu Miya

osamu is at a loss when it comes to typical beauty standards tbh

to him, weight (and most things) are similar to..hand size, for example

just like how you can’t imagine someone feeling self-conscious about the size of their hand (especially if their hand is a healthy size) 

he can’t imagine why some one would be shamed for their weight (especially if they’re a healthy size)

so had no idea you could possibly be insecure about something like that and he probably on realised after a few years in the relationship 😅

there was a formal event coming up and y’all were going as dates so you wanted to shop for outfits together 

as couples do ✌

anyway, he was on a dress site, scrolling away until you pointed out one that you thought was pretty - and it matched the color of the tie osamu bought too!

it was a fair price (for a formal dress 🙄 which is probably like $68/50) so osamu was like ‘buy it then ( •̀ ω •́ )✧’  bc he thought it would so gorgeous on you 

but you were like ‘no’

and after he pried further, you explained how you thought it wouldn’t ‘suit your body type’ 

GRRR HE dislikes IT WHEN PPL SAY THIS SO MUCH BC HOE YOU DON’T HAVE A BODY TYPE YOU’VE GOT A BODY 😡💕 WEAR THE DAMN DRESS IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BEAUTIFUL 

but like deadass it’s not your blood type-  it’s just a thing ppl made up to make ppl (mostly women) feel bad about themselves for no reason

but that might just be his inner atsumu talking 🤷‍♂️

he didn’t even know what to say at first- he was just like ????? body type ????

but once he figured out what you meant, he still had no idea what to say- at least, without sounding rude

what if someone came up to you and told you they were insecure about the shape of their knee.......what do you even say???

so he was silent for like the rest of the day

you decided to give him some space just in case something happened which had upset him

he had no idea what to say, in all honesty, so he hoped that his actions spoke louder than words 

around 3 days had passed since you last spoke to osamu and you were beginning to think something you had said made him uncomfortable

you were studying in your room until there was a ring at your door so you rushed downstairs and you opened it to reveal a package sitting on your doormat

you had recently ordered some cleaning equipment so you were sure that the content of the package was probably that

so imagine your surprise when you tear it open to reveal  — you guessed it —  the dress 💕

Rintarō Suna

when he says that he doesn’t care what ppl look like, he means it

he upkeeps his own appearance though bc..it’s his!

like why would he care about what weight you are? that’s none of his business

as you can tell, he’s generally not shallow but sometimes when y’all are just cuddling and your face is pressed to his chest, the words ‘you’re so cute’ just fall from his lips

so ofc he appreciates compliments over his skills, personality, humour etc over flattery about his appearance 

hence, the praise he gives you is usually based around those things too bc he just thinks that you’re just like him in the fact you don’t appreciate skin-deep comments

so when he found out that you’re actually insecure about your weight (or something else), he kinda blames himself

he thinks that the whole reason you’re not extremely confident in your appearance is all due to him and the fact he fact he maybe didn’t compliment you on your looks enough  — but that’s not to say that he doesn’t think you’re beautiful 

you’re the most radiant person he’s ever laid his eyes on and he thought you knew that regardless of whether he vocalised it or not

he wasn’t really sure what to do tbh

bc he loved you and wanted to comfort you ofc but he was scared of making things worse

like what if something he says accidentally makes you so upset that you break-up with him 😭

but he knew he couldn’t just stay silent about the issue, especially when he wanted to say to much

thus, he sent you a heartfelt message on discord 

(rather than snap, whatsapp etc so he could edit it after he posts it bc knowing him, he’ll probably write something, reread it ten times then as soon as he hits send, he spots a bunch of mistakes)

and he’d explain how you’re simply divine regardless of your insecurity and if anything, it just makes you cuter 😍

ok ok so i really don’t want it so seem like he has a fetish bc HE DOESN’T 

but he think your curves are so fun and pretty ❤ 

like everything about you is pretty but suna just can’t comprehend why you’re insecure about something like your weight when he literally adores it (bc he adores everything about you)