#i should be reblogging this for the reason that i am asian

[ladyimaginarium]

𝐏𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐀 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐝: 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐍𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐓𝐨 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫 !

From left to right, top to bottom: Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3, Pile 4, Pile 5, & Pile 6!

Instructions: Use your intuition to pick a card that calls to you most, then scroll to the bottom underneath the read more and find your pile(s) to receive your message!

Disclaimer: take what resonates, leave the rest of what doesn't & don't force anything if it doesn't fit your situation, keep in mind that energy and outcomes can always change & nothing is forever set in stone, you have free will in every choice you make !! keep in mind that this is a general collective reading so the messages here may not apply to everyone. as a general message: my readings are for entertainment purposes only and don't replace professional medical/legal/business help. feedback and a review after a reading is given, whether public or private, is obligatory. you can do that by reblogging ( only if the reading was made for you specifically ), dming or emailing us privately on the matter. if you do not provide this, you will be added to my greylist and won't be given anymore readings, free or paid, until you give feedback. keep in mind it's more than okay to pick more than one pile if you feel you have messages in other piles! don't just leave this in the likes, reblog and support your tarot readers, my time and labour aren't for free. while it isn't necessary, if you'd like to tip, here's my p/ayp/al. I have personal paid readings available which you can fill out the form here so tips, bookings & feedback are highly appreciated considering i plan to do this for a living!

decks used: Disney Villains Tarot & Dark Wood Tarot & Pink Tarot & Killstar ( or as we lovingly call it Memento Mori ) Tarot & Horror Tarot & GANGSTA. Tarot.

Pile 1: You have Justice! First things first is the most obvious in terms of synchronicities: the movie Big Hero 6 may have some significance to you, or East Asian culture, particularly Japanese culture. You may either live in Japan or have traveled to or plan to travel to Japan. You may be born in San Francisco, California, or California as a whole may also be significant to you or you may be American. When I look at this card, my first intuitive thought is that you may be worried about the state of the world right now, and honestly, I wouldn't even blame you, so am I, but I need you to know that things are not hopeless. If you raise your voice and spread awareness to things that matter to you like the way things are going right now and you genuinely care about other people, then you're doing the right thing. You yourself could be an activist or at the very least if you're not officially one, you could care greatly about social justice. The number 11 could be significant to you. Justice is ruled by Libra so you may have those placements or someone you know or someone important to you could have those placements. On a less grander scale, I can see something being made right for you in a situation that's been going on in your life, I'm specifically seeing for a lot of you this could be a relationship - I'm mostly getting romantic relationships here but it could be a friendship dynamic - gone wrong or someone who refused to hire you for whatever reason. You'll likely either reconcile with someone or alternatively for some of you, you could be getting a better offer. Regardless, though, if this resonates with you, congrats, Pile 1, I'm so happy for you!!

Pile 2: You have The High Priestess! You may be intuitively drawn to the occult or your faith, should you have one, right now, and you may be isolating to look at the situations in your life introspectively. The color green may be significant to you. A feminine energy may be significant (it doesn't necessarily have to be a woman!), whether it's a mother, a sister, a girlfriend, an elderly woman, an ancestor of yours or maybe even a feminine deity who wants to reach out to you. You yourself may be interested into getting into tarot and I say if that applies to you, go for it! The number 2 may be significant, it may be a date of the month that's significant, something could happen in 2 days or 2 weeks or 2 months, or, alternatively, since February is the second month of the year, something important could be happening this February! Cancer, Scorpio & Pisces may be significant, you may have those in your placements or someone you know may have those placements considering its ruled by the Moon.

Pile 3: You have Strength! This is completely random but I'm getting that at least some of you who get this card and picked this pile are furries, otherkin, alterhuman and/or someone who has animal deities that they follow. Some of you may literally be lionkind if you're otherkin or you may have a lion as a fursona if you're a furry or if you are a system, you may have a system member who's a lion. You may also be neurodivergent, I'm getting for a lot of y'all autistic specifically, considering the infinity symbol. The color pink may be significant to you because this is my pink tarot deck. I'm getting that if you practice and believe in crystal healing, get some rose quartz, especially if you want to attract love, especially romantic love, into your life. Lions may pose some significance to you, and if not lions, then felines. You yourself may have a cat. You may be spending more time with your cats. The Lion King may be significant. For very few of you you may actually work with wild animals, especially big cats, which if that's the case that's literally so cool! This was what I read for someone last month when I told y'all that you'd have to be resilient in something you're doing because someone may be testing your patience and I'm getting that again. Make sure to set healthy boundaries with someone if necessary! Leo may be significant, whether you have those in your natal chart or someone you know has those placements. The number 8 could be significant, something could happen in 8 days which is little over a week from when you're reading this. This is random, too, but I'm getting an intuitive hit to buy flowers for yourself if you're alone by yourself on Valentine's Day if you're reading this by the time this post is written. Someone may want to give you flowers, or flowers in general may be significant to you. Regardless, though, I know for a fact that you'll be slaying anyway no matter what you do! SLAY!

Pile 4: You have The World! I'm immediately getting that you're about to or already have completed a cycle in your life and to that I say congratulations, Pile 4!! I'm getting a ringing in my right ear so that just confirms it!! Maybe you've FINALLY managed to achieve something you've wanted to do, maybe you're feeling a little more at ease in this new chapter in your life. For some of you I'm getting that you may have moved to a new place! If that applies, that's awesome, Pile 4!! The number 21 could be significant, you yourself could be 21 or something could happen on the 21st of a month. The Earth element rules The World may be significant, so Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn may be significant to you, and since Saturn rules The World, Capricorn and Aquarius may also be significant to you, whether you have any of those placements yourself, or someone else you know may have them. The symbol of Ouroboros may be significant to you, too. Regardless, though, I say y'all are doing wonderfully and I'm hoping y'all will stay on the top of the world !!

Pile 5: You have The Chariot! You may be struggling to move forward with a decision you've made or maybe even debating on what to choose. Usually in the traditional Rider Waite tarot there's two horses representing two choices, that isn't present here as there's only one horse here. To that I say follow your heart and your intuition most of all and it won't lead you astray. I'm getting this... very specific message for a lot of you, but I need y'all to know this, okay? It's okay to leave the past behind. It's okay to let go. Horses may be of significance to you. For very few of you I'm getting you may be equestrians or have ancestors who were equestrians, notably Mongolians and Scythians or any of the Plains Turtle Island Indigenous Nations, but that definitely won't apply to everyone. For some of you the Celtic deity Epona or perhaps even The Legend of Zelda may be significant because I'm getting The Legend Of Zelda: Wind Waker's opening theme playing in my head ehehe. The Chariot is ruled by Cancer so Cancer may be significant to you, and the number 7 may be significant, something could be happening a week from now when you're reading this which is what I'm getting for a lot of you and for others your birthday could be the 7th of a month, alternatively, you could be born in July. You've got this!

Pile 6: You have The Empress! HOOO BOY I'm getting for a lot of you who picked this pile, y'all may be lesbians and/or sapphics of some kind because I just got, like, psychically blasted in the face with some really gay shit and specifically sapphic yearning LMAO. I don't know, I'm just getting that vibe and not just from the character Gina Paulklee from GANGSTA. herself who she herself is canonically a lesbian/sapphic. For a few of you, the animanga series GANGSTA. may be significant to you, or you may want to read/watch it as you may find some messages in there that may be important to you. For some of y'all, a strong maternal figure could be significant like a mother, an aunt or even a deity who's really powerful who may be trying to reach out... I'm getting Athena (Hellenismos) and Sekhmet (Kemeticism) for a lot of y'all, and for fewer of you, I'm getting Amaterasu (Shinto), Hera (Hellenismos), Hathor (Kemeticism), the Morrigan (Celtic Paganism), Freyja (Asatru), Oshun (Yoruba Ifa, Candomble & Santeria, Black/Afro-Latine exclusive, if you're nonblack don't touch!), and Sky Woman (Huron-Iroquois/Haudenosaunee, if you're nonnative or not a member of any of these nations don't touch!) so any of these deities may be significant to you. If it doesn't apply, let it fly. You could be in your divine feminine energy (everyone has this energy inside them regardless of gender, sex, orientation or presentation!) and stepping into your own personal power. Some of y'all may be exploring sensuality and your own sexuality or for any of my lesbians/sapphics in this pile, you may be getting a girlfriend. This my baddie pile and I don't necessarily mean in an Instagram baddie way (and you don't have to be a woman to be a baddie!) although you could fit or like that aesthetic, but I moreso mean in the sense that you're gaining confidence in yourself and what you do, and in other words, you really are That Bitch TM & I'm so happy for y'all if that applies !! The Earth element rules The Empress so that may be significant, so Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn may be significant to you, and Venus rules The Empress and for some of y'all I'm getting that Aphrodite (Hellenismos) and/or Venus (Religio Romana) literally may be wanting to reach out to you to work with you if you don't already. The number 3 may also be significant, so something could be happening in March as its the third month of the year and as I'm posting this the month after this month, alternatively, the 3rd of a month may be significant, or something could be happening in 3 days from now, or weeks or months, but I'm getting for y'all it's likely 3 days. With that said, that's about all I have for your reading, thank you so much for being here!

[waitmyturtles]

Last Twilight, episode 11: reflections

Okie-dokes. Just finished this now-infamous episode and my thoughts are rolling, especially with what I've seen posted throughout today. I think this is going to be more of a musing than a concrete Big Meta, because I am ultimately not going to be surprised if a lot of what was left on the table here will be addressed in episode 12.

One theme that I think an episode 12 will NOT be able to address, is the sudden change of Mhon from episode 10 to episode 11 in regards to her accepting Mhok. As we recall, episode 10 started off REALLY HEAVY. Mhon IS the reason why Mhok leaves as a caretaker in episode 10 and has to find a new job -- that's a fact.

Last night, I reblogged some important and interesting commentary on Mhon from prior to today's episode, especially in terms of examining her actions from an Asian/non-Western lens. I think this commentary was super important to understand her mindset as a work-first single mom up to today's episode. I think an Asian lens absolutely contextualizes her actions up to episode 10, 4/4. But I don't think today's episode helps to offer further context of her actions from a non-Western lens.

Mhon states in episode 11 that she doesn't want to be a "silly mom" who keeps her son from dating; when, unfortunately, she was depicted as doing exactly that in episode 10, to the point that Mhok was in fear between episodes that she'd break them up after seeing them at Christmas dinner.

This a bad plot hole -- and her words, her past, anything, could have been used to save that inconsistency.

I think her sudden acceptance of Mhok in today's episode came off as soapy. And her doubts about Mhok being able to take care of Day without the family's help were a touch condescending. I don't think this episode does enough to place Mhon's last monologue in a place of accurately relating to others. It was clunky and not good.

Aof Noppharnach, I feel, knows how to bridge Mhon's changes better. If episode 12 DOES address these changes -- please, let it be with context and grace. I don't want soapy tropes here, especially because we know that Noppharnach shows have done parenting so much better than this.

Here's one bit that I think the episode did well. While I see a lot of the internet protesting the break-up: in my opinion, I think Day made the right decision for himself at this moment in his life.

Day's life paradigm in 2/4 is repeating itself: as his past caretaker in his mom was the same, his current caretaker is a chef who works morning to night, and Day is alone in his room, eating by himself.

However, Day revels in being in a relationship, finally, where someone isn't taking pity on him, and he can be seen as a potentially self-determining person.

Day's recognizing that he has a path of self-advocacy and self-sufficiency to work on here, as he gets himself out of his hotel room with the use of the cane, and ends up playing with children. Yes, this is happening while Mhok is battling his fears about caring for Day while leaving him alone during work -- which, we learn, is something Mhok cannot ultimately bear if they're together.

A lot of the discontent I'm seeing about the episode on my dash is about Day's not empathizing with Mhok in the moment of the break-up. But Mhok doesn't previously reveal to Day his panic attacks -- the car accident, the search for Day before finding him on the hotel grounds. Mhok only explains to Day his panic reactions regarding Rung at the moment of the break-up. Bro. Communication is a dance for two in a relationship.

What motivates Mhok to be near Day now? Number one: the caretaking, which was a job. Number two: the current nearness, which should now be a relationship, but Mhok's motivation isn't quite the relationship alone, as we learn with his story about Rung. In my opinion, vis à vis Mhok, I think that's a touch disingenuous for Mhok to only be talking about this now to Day, on the cusp of a break-up. This is heavy!

Mhok's motivation is ALSO, now, his being consumed with his perceived economic need to support Day, along with the reality that while Mhok works, Day will be alone... which is something Mhok clearly will have difficulty handling anyway. I'm not sure what the difference is here, between Mhok working a hell of a job in Thailand vs. in Hawaii. Day will still have to learn to be self-sufficient in a relationship with Mhok. Day says this himself.

Day calls Mhok out on exactly this, and breaks up with him. I would argue here, for Day's perceived path to learn to be self-sufficient, that dumping Mhok was the right thing for him. Day is seeing a cycle repeat itself -- someone who is going to "sacrifice" their life for him, and keep Day in a stasis. Day only needs an equal partner to live a blossoming, broader, and independent life -- as we see happening between Aon and Pla. I did not appreciate Mhok's lying, and I agree with @bengiyo's Stray Thoughts on this very much (in which he says this FAR more succinctly than me, ha).

While I think Day made the right decision... I think the execution of all of this was just so clunky. We can do better than this, the tropes, the lying, everything. Imagine an episode of Mhon reflecting on her past, with her monologue reflecting on lessons she's learned by caring for her boys while figuring out the vagaries of an adult needing to be loved in the context of life's complications. Imagine Mhok telling Day about Hawaii right away -- as an equal partner who doesn't PITY his partner would do. Imagine Mhok telling Day about Mhok's panic attacks as they're happening -- and Day, as an equal partner, helping Mhok through that pain.

At least between Mhok and Day, those are growth patterns that can certainly be explained in the long-term course of a relationship. Not everything gets solved in love right away.

But. BUT. We did NOT see this side of Mhok in previous episodes. In previous episodes, Mhok WAS Day's strong and equal partner. In previous episodes, Mhon WAS struggling with her demons. What happened to all of that?

This episode 11 threw too much new and non-contextualized... stuff in the pot, to reach a climatic episode 12. This is heavy family and love stuff that I know past Noppharnach shows have handled deftly, and I'm just a little deflated by it....

...ESPECIALLY because Day's self-advocacy journey is a hell of a storyline that doesn't need scripted curveballs thrown at it by the need for a drama to be "dramatic."

[tenebrius-excellium]

It leaves me very confused and a little sad that there isn’t a richer, larger, more united and more enthusiastic fanbase for the Avatar movies. I’ve been waiting for commentaries on the second movie, both indulging and critical, and there’s a mere trickle of content appearing in the tags. So far, they all fall in weirdly isolated columns of character x reader, Kiri stans, ‘I loved the movie!’ one liners, ‘boycott Avatar’, Na’vi learners and people being horny over clone!Quaritch on main. 

There isn’t much meta despite the universe being huge, fairly consistent, and ever-expanding. The like-to-reblog ratio on posts is catastrophic. There’s not much art. I miss people being excited. I miss discourse, headcanons and AUs! I miss people giving detailed reasons for the way they respond to the movie, no matter whether they liked it or not. Nothing seems to stick despite so many refined details, e.g. the Metkayina using sign language underwater and having inner eyelids like amphibians! Or the fact that the explanations for the use of English, Kiri’s and Spider’s existence etc. were quite thought-out and satisfying. 

Sure, there’s the epic Pandoran world on one hand, and then there’s of course the “Cameronism”: The two-pronged personal fantasy of the director who is playfully exploring colonialism as negative while reaffirming it in the same breath, combined with a bland, overly conservative story. If the plot really reflects Cameron’s thinking, it is dangerously outdated by 15-20 years and cannot stay relevant. But the point to me is: It was to be expected. 

Avatar and Avatar The Way Of Water are US-American Hollywood stories based on military culture. Once you know that, it is my firm belief that it’s possible to detach yourself from that lense. But perhaps I really am arguing from a merely European perspective that is so used to mediocre language dubs, the strange obsession with heroism, patriotism, weapons and violence, and other US-specific phenomenons that just feel generally outlandish to non-US viewers. We don’t have the same problems, so being constantly faced with yours through entertainment media causes us to... kinda tune those out and enjoy what’s left, tbh. Because some of them are really painfully cringe up to completely unthinkable to the rest of the world. Even the first Avatar was never intended as a global story; - although the RDA is supposedly composed of international players, the representation on Pandora is purely US-American, even more, it’s not even covering all of your own ethnic variety. So if we can’t even expect European, Asian, African and South-American scientists in the space mission, what are we supposed to expect about indigenous voices of smaller civilizations? 

What I’m trying to say is, US media currently have a certain range of messages they convey even here in Europe, because, well, you still have the monopoly on filmmaking and we watch all of your stuff. However, we are very aware that your POV is narrow and limited since it rarely actually applies to us. And sooo, what do we do with the reality of our own exclusion that we are inevitably constantly reflecting? We ignore it, we roll our eyes and don’t think too deeply on it, we leave you guys to solve your own problems and enjoy what’s given. Perhaps we are able to separate a fantastic narrative from the cultural/ political clashes that come with it a little better, because most of the time, we don’t identify with the latter. I’m not saying the differences are in any way good or that they should stay that way. I’m saying that from where I’m at, Batman, Spiderman and Avatar don’t look too different to me when it comes to elaborate escapist fantasies about good vs. evil, and media might not quite be as relevant to conflicts as they seem in the US. Education is much more important, and to act in real life rather than in fiction. As for me, I’ll appreciate Avatar like any other fandom space, because the concept is extraordinary, its future potential still enormous, and I would love for more positive interaction. I harbor the sliiiight hope that Cameron might grow out of his current spree and redeem himself in one of the later sequels. Since there are going to be 3 more of them, you know. There you go :)

[thoughtsandbones]

Uncertainty comes between us

WARNINGS: Mention of profanity, self harm scars, scars, fluff, anxiety, medical inaccuracies and just getting the POV of our friendly neighbourhood masked menace.

Plot: Doctor Ruhari Hari Kaur (OC is South Asian ☺️) joins the 141 again, but this time as their doctor. After the betrayal of Shepherd and Graves, Task Force 141 begins their hunt on his whereabouts and locating Makarov.

PLEASE reblog and like! Hope folks are enjoying the series, I am building up characters and plots, cos I have a lot ideas and just been enjoying writing :D

Song inspo: Hurt - Nine Inch Nails, No Blame - Christina Chong, Sinner - The Last Dinner Party

I grew up with the OG MW2 game, so there are some references to the old one, so kind of a mix of both the OG and the new timeline... (Also I'm ignoring the OG Shepherd betrayal and keeping in line the one with the new timeline..)

All rights reserved to the rightful owners of Call of Duty Modern Warfare.

spelling and some grammar mistakes as I am bad at times... :/

(FYI: bold sentences... that are like this... are supposed to describe redacted data/info to the plot... ;] .. )

Please do let me know how you all are finding this fanfic! :D

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12 and PART 13

Part 14

Peyton barged into the infirmary, her grin greeting you when you look up from your laptop.

"Oh piss off!" You moan aloud and you watch her shake her head, her short blonde hair shimmering in the sunlight.

She walks over to your desk, her white coat swinging as she walks.

"What are you doing here?" You bite at her not getting up from your chair and crossing your arms.

"You are being so rude!" Peyton shrieks back "I'm trying to be nice here" she said in a lower tone, laughing a little bit shoving her hands in the pockets of her white coat.

Leaning back and spinning slightly in your chair you roll your eyes.

"How long you been here?" You ask

"6 months" Peyton replies giving you a smile

"How did you know I was back?" You ask, you felt like you were doing an interrogation.

"Heard about a little scuffle you had with Dr Jones" Peyton chuckles, sitting down on the chair opposite you.

You lightly laugh back, still not giving in to the conversation

"How.. you been?" You slowly ask

Peyton gives you a wide smile, and twiddles her fingers against you side of the chair

"I've been good" She says "Heard you had a breakdown at Foxham?" She bluntly said.

Wow, straight to the jugular you think and you scoff at her rolling your eyes and turning the chair with your feet.

"Yep" You say sharply.

"Was it like-" She starts

"I'm not talking about it with you" You snap, circling back facing Peyton. She sighs and leans back in her chair, eyes still stuck to you.

"So you're back with your old crew?" She asks, changing the subject.

"Not my old crew" You say "Just not directly with the RAMC" You add leaning forward, arms sliding along the edge of the desk.

"Going on missions?" She asks, it was now her turn to ask the questions

"No.." You say, not indulging in the fact that you were beginning to train to go on missions.

Peyton looks at you curiously, even though it had been a year or so since you last met, the three years together meant she knew when you were hiding something. You were being blunt and avoiding eye contact.. but there were other reasons as to why you would be still angry with her.

"Yeah.." She mumbles, suddenly her pager goes off, that is attached to the waistband of her scrubs. She looks down and saw that she was needed back in one of the wards.

"We should catch up properly" She suggests at you, you were looking down in your black journal.

Some things do not change she thinks

You look up and nod, smiling weakly at her. "Hmm, yeah we should" You say slyly, staring back at her as she checks her pager.

"Nice seeing you again Ru" She says

"See you around Peyton" You say, smiling and then looking down at your journal, staring down at the blank pages.

Just my luck you wonder. Running into your ex at work. You plant your head on top of the pages of the journal, letting out a small groan.

Price's office

It was 5:36 pm when Ghost knocked on Price's office door, with a deck of cards in his hands, tapping the deck against his thigh as he waited for Price to answer. When the door opened Price was on the other side, Ghost peaked in, no one else was there.

Price had said 5pm for this little pre mission gathering. Of course he had tricked him.

"You said 5pm" Ghost gruffed as he walked in to the office. Price knew Ghost didn't like these 'relaxing' gatherings that he started having after they got back from their last mission from Chicago.

"Team bonding exercise Simon" Price huffs patting his on the shoulder. "I knew you come late if I said it actually started at 6" Price added

Ghost grumbled as he sat down on his usual spot on the sofa, drumming his fingers against the deck of cards resting on his thigh.

"You brought cards Simon!" Price bursted out, smiling at him. Ghost looks away and then looks down at the glasses Price placed down on the coffee table. Ghost counted five glasses.

"Who else is coming?" He asks Price

"Gaz, Soap and Hari" He says turning back to his desk where he brought out a carrier bag, bringing to the side of the coffee table.

"Alrigh'" Ghost said

"How was training with her?" Price asks sitting down on his armchair.

"She's lacking crucial core strength, but will improve" He said

"Hmm" Price mumbles "You haven't told-" Price starts

"Not now" Ghost interrupted him, knowing full well where the conversation was going. "Need to focus on this next mission" he adds looking over to Price who nods

There was a rhythmic knock on the door, Price got up and opened it, Soap and Gaz came in.

"Alrigh' Cap?" Gaz says holding a board game, scrabble, in his hand.

"Got Monopoly" Soap says tapping this box

"Looks like it's turning into a games night" Price said closing the door behind him, checking his watch, it was 5:55pm

"Actually sir, this is yours" Gaz says handling the scrabble box to him and taking a seat on the other armchair whilst Soap sat on the sofa and the both laughed.

"Was wondering where this went" Price said setting the game on the coffee table, he was about to sit down, until there was another knock on the door.

Ghost looked up at the door, his heartbear quickened.

"Hari! You made it" Price said patting you on the shoulder, he noticed you holding a mug, Price let out a small chuckle as he let you walk in.

Walking into the office with your mug, and you notice the rest of the team were already there, Gaz, Soap and of course Ghost. You scan round looking for a place to sit, but the only viable option was the small space between Ghost and Soap on the sofa. You notice both men ogle at your bare legs briefly before shifting to the sides as you make your way to the empty spot.

Price orders Gaz to get some ice from the his break room next door, Gaz gets up and leaves.

Ghost switched his gaze from your long brown legs to your pale green shorts and back down at the deck of cards still in its box, he shifts slightly as he sees you in the corner of his eye move to the small space between. Ghost shifts himself further into the arm of the sofa as you sit down.

Bad idea wearing shorts you think as you sit down between Ghost and Soap.

"How you doin' lassie?" Soap asks grinning at you

You turn to look at him, looking blankly at his grin spreading across his face.

"Not bad, yourself?" You say, squeezing your legs together, both Ghost and Soap had their legs spread.

Gaz returns with a bowl full of ice and sets it down on the table and returns to the small armchair.

"Better now" He says winking at you, you smile flatly at him, looking down at empty mug still in your hand.

Ghost overhears what Soap said and turns to him and looks at you, you turn to him.

"How are you lieutenant?" You ask.

He looks down at you, blue eyes baring into your glassy brown eyes, this was the first time he was in close proximity with her.

"Good" he says, trilling his fingers against the desk of cards still in his hand.

"Captain, you're allowing us to drink this evening?" Gaz says perking up at the sight of Price holding a bottle of dark amber liquid in his hand as he heads back to his chair.

"Just one lads" He says "And lass" Price adds looking up at you, now remembering you were here too.

"Nice" Gaz says who quickly grabs a glass from the centre and places a few cubes of ice in it.

"Aye, what is it sir?" Soap says reaching for a glass.

"Scotch" Price says pouring in Gaz's glass that he held.

"So no tea?" You say gesturing to your mug that was in your hand, moving slightly forward.

Ghost looks down at the empty mug that you held within your hands, his eyes linger on your skin, looking at the mole on your right knee.

"Yer can have tea if you'd like, kettle is next door" Price says sitting down on his chair

"Try a bit o' scotch Doc" Soap says nudging you as he grabs a glass from Price and hands it over to you. You take the hand off him and stare at the ice surrounded by the amber liquid.

"Guessin' you never had scotch" Gaz says

"Oh I've had whiskey before" you say "Just don't like the burning sensation"

Ghost can't help but roll his eyes at your comment.

"You've not had good whiskey" He said looking at you as he grabs his glass from Price.

"Ghost loves his whiskey" Gaz laughs and Ghost grunts in response, you smile at Gaz and then turn to Ghost who was focused on the contents of his glass.

"Alright lads and lass" Price begins, bringing his glass up in the air "To a safe mission, cheers" He brings is glass in the middle and the glasses clinks with the others.

You take a sip of the scotch, and couldn't help but wince as the liquid scorched your throat and left a bitter taste on your tongue. You meet Soap's eyes and he laughs at your disgusted face.

"You're supposed to savour it" Soap says, swirling his glass in his hand.

"Savour what? The burning?" You retort, rolling your eyes and placing the glass on the coffee table.

Ghost pulled down his mask once he took a sip. He let the whiskey slide over his tongue before swallowing it. He couldn't detect any other flavours apart from burnt oak. Price got the shit whiskey.

"Shit whiskey that's why" Ghost said looking at Price who tutted and sat back in chair.

"Well I couldn't your fancy whiskey from Tesco's Si-Ghost" Price said, slipping up on Ghost's name. He cleared his throat and took another sip of the whiskey to avoid the glare coming from Ghost.

"Does this fancy whiskey actually have flavour?" You ask, turning to Ghost. Ghost meets your gaze, your brown eyes luring him in.

"Yes" He says, turning away from you so he could take another sip when he lifted his mask up.

"Noah's Mill cost a bloody fortune" Gaz says "£80 for some american whiskey"

"Tastes good though" Soap chimes in

"Prefer a good pint of Budweiser" Gaz replies

"You ain't got fine taste" Ghost says turning to Gaz

"Ghost you drink like an old man" Gaz adds and takes another sip of the scotch.

Ghost shakes his head and drums his fingers against the glass.

"Yer like to drink doc?" Soap says clearing his throat and turns to you, his knees touching yours.

"Not much, can't deal with the hangovers" You say, and take another small sip of the whiskey, this time letting the liquid settle over your tastebuds, trying to see if there was any flavour to this drink. None. You swallow and wince again at the burning.

"Canny imagine you being this wild party lass" Soap says smiling

"No, I wasn't, would have a few drinks after work at the hospital" You say, not giving into the bad benders you'd go on...

You swirl the glass in your hands, feeling squashed slightly between Soap and Ghost.

"Alright, let's play a game" Gaz says, sensing your discomfort. "Cards Ghost?" He said looking at the deck of cards placed on the edge of the coffee table near Ghost. Ghost picked the deck up and handed it to Gaz.

"Rummy?" You suggest

"Good idea" Price says nodding towards you.

Gaz shuffles and deals out the cards. Ghost picks up his stack and partakes in the game, silently observing you and everyone. Nights before a mission were always uneasy for him. The dread of not coming back lingered in the back of his head. And now, with you here. What if he couldn't come back for you?

Soap played his run and picked up a card from the stockpile, Price and Gaz exchanges looks of curiosity, it was Price's turn and he picked a card from the discarded pile and huffed. Gaz, threw down three kings and then it was Ghost's turn. He picked up a card, five of clubs, and then looked over to you. You held your cards close to your chest and picked up a card, queen of hearts, and then threw down three queens with your left hand. The one he nearly crushed.

The game ran for a few rounds, Gaz making a quip at Soap, saying that he was cheating somehow, Soap getting defensive and muttering to himself in his Scottish slang. Price, who's pile of cards in his hands seem to grow as he didn't play his run. You laughed as Gaz threw down his last run, and yelled

"WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!" Pointing at Soap, who threw his cards down on the coffee table and scoffed. Gaz collected the cards and placed them on the box and handed them back to Ghost.

Price looked at his watch, it was nearly 9:15 and the crew had to be up in a few hours.

"It's time for some sleep" Price said, slapping his thighs with his hands. "We need to be fresh for 4am" He adds

The others nod and mumble in agreement and slowly get up. Ghost was the first to get up and head to the door, he turned back towards Price

"Cheers Price, G'night all" He said nodding at everyone in the room. He was met with a chorus of good nights, Soap yawned and waved at him. He saw you smile at him before he left.

"Be safe, and I'll be here when you all get back" You say, picking up the mug and moving towards the door.

"Thanks Doc" Soap says

"Good night Doc, we'll see you when we get back" Gaz said, he puts his fist out and you bump it with yours and smile at him.

"Good night everyone" You say again, leaving Price's office and heading back to your quarters. When will they return you did not know, but you wished they'd come back safely.

...

You laid in bed, tossing and turning, unable to sleep. Placing the covers over your head you shut your eyes and trying to drift off. The little cover you made became too hot , tossing the covers off and laying on your back you stare at the ceiling. There was a knock at your door. Throwing the covers off, you look at the alarm clock on the side table, the red numbers that read 10:15 pm flared in the dark.

Who would be needing me at this time? You wondered, getting up from the bed, turning the lamp on, putting on a pair of shorts that lay on your chair, not wanting to great who was on the other side in your bright pink lacy underwear. Opening the door you were greeted by the masked man, Ghost, wearing a think black t-shirt, his muscular veiny arms on show.

Ghost himself was unable to sleep, guilt riddled him as he lay in his own bed. The worry lingered in him before the mission as always, but there was something else, he had to make sure your arm was okay.

"Lieutenant, are you alright?" You ask, rubbing your eyes before looking up at him.

"Yeah, I just..." He trailed off, looking at you and then behind into your room, your bed covers a mess. Clearly he had just woken you up and the guilt increased within him.

"Your arm okay?" Ghost asks, clearing his throat, looking down at your left arm.

Looking down at your forearm, you remember the grip he had. The dull pain came and went, but it wasn't agonising. There was a little bruise from where he grabbed you, lifting your arm up to show him.

"It's all good" You say, smiling slightly.

Why are you so concerned? You thought

Ghost notices the dark red bruise on the forearm you held up in his eyeline. He looked back into your doe eyes and gently took ahold of your wrist, turning your arm over so he could see the other side. Three long red marks, remnants of his fingers that gripped the flesh, trying to crumble the bones had painted your brown skin.

"It's nothing Lieutenant" You say watching him analyse the marks he left. He brought his left hand up, tracing the bruise he made with his fingers, his rough skin going against your soft skin.

"Ghost?" You say, bewildered at how gentle he was being

"Hmm"

"Are you okay?"

"Hmm" He mumbled gently, his steely blue eyes fixed on your arm.

Ghost continued to trace the bruise with his fingers, the warmth coming off your skin was strangely comforting him. He looked up and saw the white scars scattered across your arm. Without thinking, he began to move his fingers, tracing the bumps of the horizontal scars that were near your inner elbow.

You looked at his scars that were on his arms, bigger and judging by the pink and white tissue, these were deeper. Your eyes meets the tattoos on his left forearm, skulls, bullets and bombs.

"These happened a long time ago" Ghost concluded, breaking the silence.

"Yes" You whisper, trying to pry your hand back from Ghost's hands, he let go.

"You don't do that anymore?" He said folding his arms across his chest looking down at you, still in the doorway of your room.

"No sir" You say looking back at him, moving back into your room. "Would you like to come in?" You ask

Ghost takes a deep breathe in. He knew he was in dangerous territory, his eyes flickered to your bed and then around your room. Stepping in to your room, he closed the door behind him slightly, folding his arms again.

"Can't sleep sir?" You say looking at Ghost, now in the middle of your room.

"Just needed to make sure your arm is okay" Ghost said "That was irresponsible of me" He added

"You had a panic attack sir, it's understandable. Plus, I am okay, otherwise I would've said" You reply smiling at him

The upfront honesty was a breath of fresh air for Ghost. He moved closer to you.

"I owe you a cuppa Doc" He said

You look at his blue eyes glazed and became slightly crinkled, a sign you took for him smiling underneath his mask.

"Yorkshire chai when you come back then" You say looking up him smirking.

Ghost gave out stifled huff, turning away from you to the little lamp on your bedside table and then back to you. The yellow hue had bathed your skin, your eyes turning a shade honey brown, drawing him in.

Just like that he stepped closer to you, reaching his arms out, pulling you into him. He wrapped his left arm over your back and his right he held your head in his chest. Ghost closed his eyes, hoping you wouldn't pull away.

You were shocked at first, but you wrapped your arms around his waist, squeezing tight. Taking his scent, a mix of cigarettes and musk, eiter from his aftershave or antiperspirant.

Ghost slowly let you go, his hands bracing your shoulders, he cleared his throat and looked at you as your held onto his elbows.

"Sorr-" He began

"Did you know there was study that showed hugs reduce blood pressure and stress" You blurt

Ghost was taken aback, and smirked under his mask and let go of you, folding his arms across his chest again.

"Yes, levels of oxytocin increase in the brain" You add "Just some things I know" You say smiling brightly at Ghost

"Hmm" He mumbled "Do feel a bit better" He added

"Good" You reply. "As your doctor, I am happy to help" You add looking at Ghost, whose eyes began to wonder around your room where they finally rested on the alarm clock on your table that read 10:40 pm

"Need to actually sleep" He said, gazing back at you, you nod and smile at him

"Big day tomorrow" You whisper "Good luck with the mission, I'll see you when you're back for that tea"

"'Course doc" Ghost said, he moved to the door and walked out, stopping momentarily to look back at you "Thank you... for the hug.." He mumbled, avoiding your eyes.

You laugh slightly, and walk towards the doorway and look at his steely blue eyes. "Anytime Ghost, I'll always be here" You beam at him and he nods at you

"Good night Doc" He said

"Good night lieutenant" You reply and wave at him as he walked off down the corridor to his room. Closing the door you let out of a sigh and a smile had taken a hold of your face.

There was something there between the two of you, you were not sure what, but there was some weird kind of pull that made you curious about the masked man, Ghost.

[theasexual-jackson]

Before this ted talk start, I just wanted to ask for any antifeminist, conservative, right wing or anything related to this to just, please, do not interact, like, reblog or do anything about this post. I'd be seriously disappointed in myself if any Christian right winged antifeminist agreed with me, because that's not the point of my life and 100% not the point of this post, so please, if you fall on the characteristics of this warning, ignore this post and go eat your hamburgers with cheese. Thank you.

Also, content warning for references to s/a.

Misandry, even if it's a understandable response to men in patriarchy, should not be apart of feminism.

Even tho I'm not a feminist, and will probably never be, because my experiences with patriarchy are from a trans non-binary point of view, and feminism is about women + another couple reasons, I would really like to point out something.

Misandry can't be apart of feminism because the patriarchy only protect cis heterosexual white men.

Using misandry in your feminism will ignore the experiences of trans and men of colour with patriarchy and how it fails to put them on privilege.

And no, I'm not invalidating your crippling fear and hatred of men that developed from being a woman getting abused by misogyny, because no 1⁰, I'm also deeply scared of men, and no 2⁰, I also have moments where my only reaction to cis & white people is deep breath so I'll not end up throwing hands (cause let's be honest, y'all are seriously dumb /j). But does that interfere on my black and queer discourses? Obviously not!

Because if I do let my honest disappointment with white and cishet people get to my activism, it will interfere negatively on it, because it block different perspectives from the system that affects me and my perception of how does it work. Same with feminism and misogyny.

If your honest disappointment with men get into your feminism, you won't be able to accept masculine perspectives on patriarchy, specially trans masculine and racialized masculine perspectives. And they are important because patriarchy literally fails with them!

Let's take rape culture and black men for an example.

We have fulano, a white man who has a literal fetish on 14 year old girls, and ciclano, a black man who got falsely accused of csa for money. (Based off of real life? Mmmm, maybeyy...~ But I won't drop names😘 but if you know me, you probably know who I'm talkin bout) Which one of these guys will be 100% protected by patriarchy?

Fulano. For fulano's case, patriarchy will use it's tactics and excuses to protect him. But for ciclano, if ciclano isn't on a environment of conservative black people, there will be hesitation on the protection. Because black men are deemed as aggressive and harmful to (mostly/specially to white) women.

Which is basically why the police only takes accusations from women seriously if they're against men of colour. If you, white girl, do an s/a accusation against a white boy, there will be little to no effect. But if you do it against a black boy, the shit going on with be completely different.

Am I saying that feminism should include men? Obviously not, because feminism is about women. But when we're talking about the patriarchal system in general, we should pay attention to different perspectives, because that'll get more knowledge on how does it work and how do we defeat it, because patriarchy is not only “men > women”; It's a system where white cisgender straight men get a privilege over any other type of person, be them a gay man, a cis asian woman, a black genderfluid person, etc.

Anyway, I hope y'all got my point. Kisses from Angel.

[homosexualmorelikehomiesexual]

ok so...we all saw the flurry of Bandom Racism discussion happening. and i have...thoughts.

i know this is late, in theory because i wanted to get my thoughts together, but honestly mainly because i didnt know what to say, so part of me was annoyed that i felt obligated to say anything at all. bc im not nearly as active in bandom as my blog probably makes it look, i didnt learn 90% of the Lore until september and all of that i learned from mcrblr. im new! i dont know about any of this! much less about the racism. so...why am i expected to talk about it? what is there for me to say?

...and over the past few days, its slowly sunk in for me that thats exactly the point.

of COURSE i dont see the racism in the fandom, or know what to say about it. because either none of the other white liberal fans in my circle do, or we just... dont talk about it. and i think when we do know, we dont talk about it, because we feel like its not our place. we dont know what to say, and especially if we feel like we had any hand in it, we're... embarassed? i know i am. and like...i hesitate to list examples, because i dont want to come across as self flagellating. one, because its got to be annoying for people of color, and two, because...i dunno. i dont want to make other white people think thats whats required, to be anti racist? because i think thats one of the assumptions we're laboring under, like...we've created this environment of really aggressive Discourse, so when it comes to racism, and unpacking our own...we talk in really vague terms, we never get past the "UwU!!! Dont Be Racist!!!!" PSAs because naming our own transgressions means admitting to wrongdoing, which is embarassing at the best of times, but in the very spaces we've created, generally being found out as Doing Something Wrong means getting jumped on by other white people for the purpose of their own moral preening so no one will suspect them of the same. so...why willingly subject yourself to that? especially if whatever you have to say, whatever it is in your behaviour you want to discuss, may be triggering to people of color. simply not mentioning it feels like the better - and safer - option.

but...thats what leads to us not knowing enough about all this to feel confident talking about it in the first place.

i dunno. last week, im one of the people who looked right at that piece of art with franks rising sun tattoo, and went... "huh. hey, theres that tattoo he got covered up because it was offensive. i should look into that. ...anyway, cool art!" and hit reblog.

and like...once people started talking about it, (theres one specific post, forget who its by, someone talking about mcrs history with anti asian racism, great post thank you for making it) i felt...bad? but i also felt kinda defensive. in thinking back on it, i was like..."well, im glad to know that now. but dude im not familiar with his tattoos. i kind of assumed what i was looking at was the covered up version where its sort of peeking through. idk it was a watercolor it was kinda garbled. i wont blame myself for not thinking any harder than that."

and then i was like... okay but. if im honest with myself, thats still bad. because it doesnt matter, since i probably wouldve reblogged it anyway, just assuming it was for the sake of photo accuracy or what have you...because i still didnt fucking know or care what the rising sun flag was.

which was the whole point.

because if i HAD. if i HAD done my research when id first heard about it, months ago, i would have recognized that art for what it was and treated it with the wide berth it deserved and avoided it regardless of my knowledge of his stupid fucking tattoo. but i didnt, for a host of reasons. mainly executive dysfunction, general stress in my personal life (nunya bidness) and...if im being honest? i just didnt want to, because...i hate self teaching. i have adhd. i was homeschooled, it was really traumatic, i flunked all of highschool and had to get a GED. my reading comprehension and attention span are piss poor. so i didn't feel like looking into it. i didnt feel like giving myself a whole impromptu history lesson. i opened one wiki page and instantly got overwhelmed.

but thats also the point. because all those reasons for not doing my due diligence and reading up on why asian fans are so pressed about the rising sun tattoo? or why black fans want nothing to do with 21p? the same shit probably applies to them! they don't feel like doing it either, we just give them no choice until eventually they make giant ass posts, comprehensive, easy to digest, step by step posts, for the express purpose of doing what we all refuse to do.

and, again, theres that feeling of guilt. guilt and shame, because im admitting to this, and because i know how reading this is gonna make other white fans feel, because i just went through the exact same set of feelings, and its uncomfortable as hell. so i can only imagine how fans of color have felt.

im not making this to browbeat white fans, or to self flagellate to fans of color. this isnt a soap box or a confession booth. im just.. talking. so lets talk. im gonna be honest, i still havent done real research into the rising sun flag. im literally just now looking at the wikipedia page for imperial japan, which i just now opened, and i still feel just as overwhelmed. (does anyone have good material on learning about this? if i find any, ill post it in reblogs.)

but...yeah. this isnt an UwU!!! Dont Be Racist!!!! PSA. this is uhhhh...We're All A Little Racist, Lets Talk About It So We Wont Be. an open letter, i guess. cause we're doing and saying racist shit, intentionally or unintentionally, whether we realize it or admit it or not, and i think the majority of you who have read this far are, like me, mainly doing so through inaction. and i think the more we ignore that, the worse this feeling will get. so...lets stop ignoring it. i know we all just did exactly that, i saw it happen, i was part of it, i get the reasons why. but its delaying the inevitable, and more importantly, we're hurting other people because of it. so...lets just get it over with, it cant be any more embarassing than burying our heads in the sand.

[resuslurker]

I figured since I've just gotten a big push of new follows (thank you everyone) I'd reintroduce myself!

Hi! I'm a 30 year old male, bi sexual, in a polymerous relationship. I have been a resus fan since before I can remember and used to poke around this community a lot back in the old RH days, left after a mental health issue and needed some time to find myself away from the community, 7 years later I'm happy to be back.

Like I said, I am in a committed bi poly relationship and have a wonderful bf and gf for just under a year now so I am definitely not looking for any romantic connection here. We have great communication and trust though so my bf and gf know about my resus interests but we've agreed to set boundaries and keep our sex lives more in the vanilla realm so we can accommodate everyone's sexual needs and we each have a hall pass for kinky things as needed (there is little to no overlap in our kinks)

My interests- Defibs are certainly my primary focus when it comes to resus but I'm open to other aspects as well. Not a fan of blood, gore, or pregnancy I know some of those can be big hits here but they turn me off pretty hard. I'd say I'm about 50-50 maybe 60-40 in favor of Time Called conclusions, I like a little variety and I don't like fully knowing if the patient is going to make it or not, that's part of the drama and allure for me. I usually like a respectful amount of equipment, paddles, maybe a BvM, EKG, BP cuff all should be on hand I am a huge fan of m2m in person rps I am a fan of that middle ground between realistic and Hollywood. Give me normal looking shocks, but unnecessarily nude patients, dramatized language and doctors begging the patient to breathe. I have to know its fake but don't go so cartoony that I lose all the drama.

Will always be down for female patients Will usually be down to be the patient- especially for a female and male resus team Will inconsistently be down for male patients- most of the time I am but my comfort within my own bisexuality is still pretty new and it comes and goes

Aspects in women I like (quoting my gf here) Red Heads (not that I dislike any other hair color I just have a soft spot) Mediterranean women (Iberian, Italian, Greek, Jewish, North African, etc) Asian women Athletic women (not a certain type of athlete but athletic)

Aspects in men I like (again, quoting the gf) Blondes (more a specific turn on than with women) Athletic again Asian Men Nordic Men

General turn offs (this isn't to say I have any moral dislike of any of these people at the end of the day you do you, they just don't get my motor running in a sexual sense) Members of the trans community (I will fight for your rights as an ally any day of the week and love all of you, you will see no disrespect or hatred from me I have several close friends in the community- I simply do not find myself aroused) Severely overweight individuals (same deal, what you do with your body is up to you, no judgement just doesn't arouse me in any way) Smoking/Vaping (This one I might pass a little judgement on)

I also don't kink shame except for what I deem the unholy 3 -Scat -Piss - Furrys

If you're a fun of the above 3 DNI also Pedo's, underage, you know who you are DNI

I live in the Eastern Time Zone for the US (just for posting/rp line up reasons) I do work a 9-5 so I'm usually not available during the day though you may see me post there from time to time if I start scrolling during a quiet time at work.

Other quick things to know- I have RPed IRL with significant others very much enjoy it as a form of foreplay, I've found the stand alone RP to rather awkward I do not condone the trading of professional videos I also generally am not a fan of sexualizing non resus fetish media so I will not be posting any reblogs of pics or videos from OPandER, BioMed, RCD, RMP, or TV or movies and will only reblog amateur content or links to purchase professional videos.

[fffiii]

Fifi does an intro post?? Whaaaaa

Wow this is awkward, anyways hi besties, it’s your favourite menace of a mun fifi here. Hope y’alls are doing well :)

§ 18 § She/They § Aroace (sex indifferent) § SEAsian §

I’m also a diagnosed autistic person, and I’m pretty sure I have undiagnosed ADHD, so please be patient with me.

An artist (both digital and traditional) and a crazy gamer (and tired student)

DNI if:

You promote any prejudice or hatred, especially to the vulnerable. I do not condone racism, ableism, sexism, homomisia, transmisia or any other kind of discrimination and I will swiftly report should I see any. I also do not support things like the fetishisation of asians or infantilisation of neurodivergents. Please keep such gross behaviour away from me with a 20 kilometer pole.

You promote/align yourself with hateful ideologies such as Nazis, TERFs, etc. This is related to the previous point, don’t hate others for existing.

You engage with me in sexual and/or 18+ topics without prior consent. I will reiterate that I am aroace, and I have no interest in debating my identity. I only discuss topics of an 18+ nature with people I want to, and in private, not on a blog where all can see. Sexual JOKES are okay, but do not dump a whole smut fic onto me, thanks.

You believe in pro-shipping / age-of-consent arguments / any kind of argument that justifies problematic ships, pedophilia, romanticisation of abuse, etc. Just because it’s fiction doesn’t mean it’s okay. Heavy topics like abuse and manipulation should be taken with the weight they carry, and not be treated lightly.

NOTES/WARNINGS:

I consume content that includes but isn’t limited to: violence, gore, cannibalism, and similarly dark topics. I will do my dilligence to tag them, and if I fail to, you can remind me to do so, and I will gladly. However, if the content is not problematic (as in, it romanticises such content), I see no reason to take it down. Consumption lies on you, the viewer, and if the content isn’t morally wrong, I have no reason to remove material that might be uncomfortable to some.

I engage quite regularly in dark humour. If that puts you off, please let me know. I take mental well-being seriously.

Though mun is 18, I wish for this blog to be clean of NSFW or otherwise 18+ content. Please respect this wish.

Fandoms im in / games I play in order of relevance: Identity V, Genshin Impact, Star Rail, Honkai Impact 3rd, Bungo Stray Dogs, Woomaverse, Chonny’s Charming Chaos Compendium (CCCC), Moriarty the Patriot, The Amazing Digital Circus, Reverse 1999 (there’s probably more i’ve forgotten, feel free to ask if you wanna know)

I also have a barely fleshed out Non-Fandom world called Dreams of Delirium, which is highly underdeveloped but I may occasionally gush about, make art of, or hold random ‘events’ on my blog about.

I create OCs for the fandoms I’m in, and you can read more about them if you’d like. One day I’ll be organised with tags, I swear.

TAGS:

Personal art: me arts

Reblogs: reblog

credit: (apologies for the tag) @benkeibear (for the barbed wire dividers) and @vocaicons (for the images, drawn by wooma)

[straye]

𝐃𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄 : the hella sweet munday meme ( ORIGINAL SOURCE, FORMATTED TO BE A DASH GAME. )

♻ Any advice on improving Tumblr RP experience?

Block and blacklist, block and blacklist. Out of sight out of mind is a real thing here, and even reading everything on someone's blog to be able to do that efficiently.

⛅ Do you believe aesthetics are another form of expression?

In a way, yeah! I mean, the way I have my blog set up is certainly so.

☮ Are you feeling happy and inspired right now?

Happy, I guess. Inspired, errr. Trying!

☄ Has someone ever admitted to being inspired by you?

Maybe once? I mean Ren once said that the verse they made with Ghostshima was for me and I almost bawled my eyes out because I feel passionately about that evil little tape worm and the effect he has on Kogami past the grave. T_T

⚌ Who inspires you?

[dial up sounds]

♋ Are there any FC’s you believe should be used more? Why?

I don't use FCs at all if I can help it, so I think this is geared more towards people who use rl FCs? But if I had to say, as someone who observes secondhand, MORE SOUTHEAST ASIAN / BROWN / BLACK / INDIGENOUS FCS !!!

☸ Do you reblog from the source when someone practices reblog karma or do you follow it?

I reblog from the source for a cleaner activity tab, and I expect the same courtesy. Though, if it's something I can send in, I always try sending in stuff for memes.

☯ Do you believe you’re a forgiving person?

I'll be honest with you, no, and I've had very good reason not to be over the years.

⚑ Have you been forgiven for a mistake you’ve made?

Hard question, because I'd say kinda.

♛ Have you ever seen drama be maturely sorted out?

No lol.

♞ Do you tend to ignore drama?

Generally. It stops being drama if someone is a genuinely bad person or is up to some heinous shit though.

☾ Have you ever tried to bring peace to a situation?

One, a very long time ago. Now? Hell no.

☻ Have you ever made someone a promo or a positive shoutout?

Yes! <3 I always try to.

☎ What do you think about bias lists?

I only do these for like. KPop biases lol. Do you guys remember the mess that was follow forevers? I think we've learned from then.

☈ How many people would you say likes you?

I should hope my following, though idc if anyone hate follows.

♡ How many people do you like? Are there any people in particular that pop up?

Most of my following ??? I know me and @sorrowmarked , @withgutsandglory and @ungodli are super cool. I also wuv @kudakenai and @vtriol forever and ever. me and @yeonban have crazy meow meow to meow meow communication. Me and @n0fa0e have been friends for yeeeeears <3. And @naisetsu is pretty neat too. <3 ALSO @achroanimus FOR THEIR AMAZING IDEAS AND DEPICTION OF THE EVIL LITTLE MAN. I also owe so much to @amaeranthos. I also love love love what @vulpesse and @aahri do for a certain fox of whom I am smitten over ..............

☢ What calms you down after negativity?

Vidya games, talking to my best friend. :3

☠ What keeps you happy?

Thinking about Kogami Shinya.

☘ Is there anything that makes you instantly want to follow someone?

If they're funny as hell. Always.

☕ Is it often you hear people complimenting your blog? Characters, writing, theme, icons, etc.

No, not really, though the latest compliment I've gotten was the fact that my Kogami is so baby girl and I needed a moment to cry (positively) about that. <3

☂ What’s your best RP experience?

This was before this blog's time but when me and an ex made an entire multiverse of OCs. :( I miss that, and my OCs are still around, but that was a weirdly formative experience. Also when me and @ungodli had this rhythm for our first thread where our replies kept getting longer and longer and at some point we stopped apologizing for that LMAO AND WHEN ME AND @achroanimus STARTED OUR KOGAMI AND GHOSTSHIMA THREAD THAT I STILL NEED TO REPLY TO AUGH

⚈ What sweet things tend to happen to you from time to time RP wise?

When me and my partners will reply to something and when we see it we immediately alert each other with raw reactions <3

☐ What trends are you currently into?

girl idk.

★ What fandom do you consider welcoming?

I don't really pay attention to this. </3

☆ What are some the perks with the fandom you’re currently in?

It's small and quiet and if you want to be left alone you'll be well left alone.

☉ What fandom do you believe needs improvement? What could you do to do that?

No comment.

♦ How has roleplaying on Tumblr improved since you started out?

Um honestly yes especially when it comes to NSFW content and what kind of shit we'll let fly. It used to be that you'd see obscurely tagged full blown rl porn on your feed but now people have the courtesy to actually try tagging it better as well as people just feeling safe enough to call people out on bigotry and condoning gross shit. I kinda wish this environment is the one little 12-13 year old me started off on lol.

♨ Have you ever roleplayed with someone that has been problematic but offered critique and then watched them improve?

Yes but they did not improve.

⚓ Are there any small details you tend to like in roleplays?

Quoting some of my favorite medias / poems / etc. If you squint, you'll see my writing riddled with them. >:)

⚡ What are the good sides with duplicates?

I don't have a lot of experience with saying so but some of the villains I play where I don't mind duplicates : we really do understand these characters more than most of their fans do.

☀ What’s the best thing about roleplaying?

What isn't there to like about putting my character in all sorts of whacky scenarios or whatnot with characters he'll probably not have much interaction with or otherwise? Creating AUs, connecting with people through him, and even getting people into Psycho-Pass mwhahaha.

⛵ What genres do you like writing the most?

Slice of life, hurt-comfort, fluff, comedy, action. I want to try horror one of these days so bad.

☺ What tends to bring out your muse the most? What inspires you?

Little things that remind me of Kogami; then, I'm possessed by his spirit to let the world know that xyz is so him. Then his spirit leaves me. It often tends to be other forms of media, music, poems.

[traitorsinsalem]

no problem on reblogging my post again it is by far one of my MOST favorite posts of all time i reaaally popped off when i wrote that. also one thing i didn’t mention there (bc it honestly would have distracted from the point i was making but is important nonetheless) is that making phoenix a random dark skinned poc is actually extremely colorist.

there is no reason he couldn’t be japanese and simultaneously dark skinned. even without making him an indigenous japanese person (which you should not do unless you are part of these ethnicities), even in the most common japanese ethnic group there are tons of people with darker/ tanned skin, curly hair, broad noses and to act like that is somehow not possible, not only is that extremely colorist, but also very racist because a lot of these notions stems from the acceptance of japanese imperialist propaganda.

and the worst part about it is that in the ACE ATTORNEY UNIVERSE they CANONICALLY!!! live in japanifornia, a fictional california that has a very high population of japanese people and japanese americans. there is literally NO REASON that phoenix or any of the other characters could be mixed japanese americans with dark skin. there’s no reason to remove their japanese heritage no reason to even say they aren’t asian, they live in america for generations most likely, it makes perfect sense that they could be mixed.

these fake diversity pilled artactivists™️ have no excuses for making phoenix or any other character a racist colorist caricature other than the fact that they have stage 4 racism disease. and this is concerning because i honestly thing the in game ace attorney universe has more issues with colorism than it does with racism (ranting about this has convinced me to make a post about it don’t worry i’ll explain soon) because even though yes there are racist elements in the aa games (soj worst offender) but there are HUGE colorism elements in EVERY AA GAME!! and it has been soaked up by the naturally racist white members of the fandom and instead of addressing it, they simply just make a cute headcanon about it <3

(sorry for ranting about this but!! fun fact, my phone automatically switched to my chinese keyboard the second i opened your ask box lmfao 🤭🤭🤭)

no like literally what is in the water that's making so many ppl think both that asian ppl can't have dark skin and that edgeworth is white. ANF FOR REAL the ace attorney games have an INCREDIBLY notable problem with colorism especially the later games so dark-skinned asian esp desi ppl projecting on phoenix and trucy are braver than any u.s. marine bc there is rarely an in between of woobifying phoenix (trilogy + 5-6) or calling him gross and greasy and smelly (aj) like wgat is the DEAL!!

like colorism is a ridiculous problem everywhere and choosing to flat-out ignore and never address the colorism in the aa games while making the more aggressive, unintelligent, greasy, etc. ambiguously brown or black in art as a white and/or light-skinned person is weird as hell. and if it rubs me the wrong way as a wasian guy w light skin i can't even imagine how fking tiring this is to u. am looking forward to seeing ur post going into this in more depth bc i'm literally just dumbfounded at the fact that people can even do this and post it on the internet.

also my inbox is a free space for ACE ATTORNEY RANTS u r always welcome here this is the "this fanbase is insane" dropbox. and ur chinese keyboard opening was an omen for my friends bullying me for the way i say 空儿 i feel like the chinese joker rn

[jadedaceofspades]

Hey follow up because I'm weird like that.

Great. Good. Not the depressive part, but the letting go part. Please shout. Please yell. That's like, I don't know, a load of fly larvae coagulating inside your body like that one science experiment I did in elementary school with the rotten egg. A lot in life is rotten eggs. There's gonna be fly larvae from who knows where feeding off of it, and they're tiny and buzzing and not pleasant to keep like a pocket warmer that's alive and wants out of its casing and it's not rice inside but fly larvae, so it's got to be thrown out. You gotta toss it. Maybe you liked it once because it had been rice or you didn't know it was flies and it was just in your pants one day or whatever, this is incoherent, but the flies have got to go. They've got to go, and flies are never present and it's disconcerting to see so many just blow out of an unassuming pant pocket, but that's just life sometimes. The flies gotta go. Do what you've gotta to get rid of them.

Very incoherent analogy, but I'm out of it, but I want to ramble.

So I saw your post about CoD and some other things that are in that burst reblog chain I just went thru because vibes and same and all that. And I just thought it was nice. Saw you like the Makarov thing I reblogged. I'm going down a rabbit hole with one of the newer characters, that Phillip Graves guy. I got Southern Charmed by another evil fictional CEO. That keeps happening. I've noticed a pattern from Augustus Sinclair in Bioshock, and I know it started from Fallout New Vegas, which brings me to my next piece.

For some inexplicable reason, I find the 'problematic' fandoms neat. I mean the shit where obviously the subject matter of the media isn't for kids. The modern 12 yr old should not be playing Spec Ops The Line or know who Andrew Ryan is. Characters are assholes, stories are bleak and don't apologize and shit and I think that's...nice. Like no one in the actual material pretends that they're a good person, or if they do, the game doesn't pretend they're a good person. The moral is what you make and all that shit. And shit's problematic. And, excluding Fallout's portrayal of indigenous people and the racism inherent across the material I indulge in all together, I find that the whole basis of them being so "icky" for a younger audience, or at least that's how my brain rationalizes it, makes it safer for me to indulge in. Because I won't find so many rabid antis or kids in general to tiptoe around. And even if I do, they're kids who are aware they're not supposed to be here in my space and are aware of themselves enough to know there's just some shit they shouldn't see and that that is their problem, not mine.

Maybe it's the fact that I've always felt wrong. Like I'm not natural to the species of human I've grown up around and amidst. And it's not just the 'emo' kind of otherness. I'm a Muslim who doesn't wear a veil and is open at the fact that sometimes my religion is questionable at best and rancid at worst. I'm an Asian in an Asian country who thinks her male cousin should be allowed the purple butterfly bag tag as a kid's meal toy choice and have to make excuses as to why that is, citing the history of the colour purple being traced back to European royalty for it to be novel enough for an answer. I feel like, sometimes, I might contaminate whatever younger generation is around me simply for existing. I'm trying to be better, but that feeling of wrongness will always be there, popping up in the presence of others who might still have a chance, who aren't wrong like me, who are normal.

And it's nice to be able to fall back on a space where, even if I am rancid, I won't be contaminating the little children if I so happen to like the same things as them. Fallout New Vegas isn't a hot new thing. Bioshock is a quiet, stagnant shell of a firecracker that goes off only occasionally, but not enough to attract the hoards that come to TF2, for example, its release year peer that shoots up whenever Overwatch chokes itself on a banana. Current 12yrs aren't playing Spec Ops The Line. The circus of my interest is contained to other monsters like me, who the little children will ignore, by virtue of our tent being so unappealing to them or overshadowed by grander other things that are current and important and don't involve war crimes for shallow, sometimes even out of touch PSAs other media following it has done better.

And then I paint myself in the sort of shit they'd be appalled by, languish in the mud pit of these immoral things, out of spite. I'm currently hashing out a fic that might get me cancelled if it were written for Steven Universe. Death threats from the Owl House, or even from Hazbin Hotel somehow. But no, I'm writing it for Bioshock and New Vegas and my blorbos are disgusting old men most would be happy about living terrible lives if they existed in real life, which is the metric of measurement used by those outside the cesspit. I'm safe in that my space is a mud pit and mud is not unexpected.

Is this pretentious? Oh yes. This entire thing. Is pretentious. Is it unhealthy? Most likely. But it's...nice. It is pleasant.

I may have wasted your time. Call of Duty is a passing pleasure at the moment and my Southern Charmer is unfortunately, by his own purposeful merit, not a fan favorite so I am wallowing. He's my little skrunkly for the moment. Did you play the original games? What was the fandom climate like in the ye olden youth of its age? CoD is cited as the boost for a lit of things in gaming history. Booster of gaming from its niche hidey hole in the back alleys of subculture, some might say.

Have a good one and have some ice cream. This was weird. Good night.

Ramble away, I don't mind lol

The things with certain fandoms for me is that... Like, once I find "my people", I'm okay, but like... can't do that if I don't talk to people, but with the Ghost fandom, especially, it was almost like if you weren't a part of a group in the fandom, you were never talked to. Like, ever. And that sucked because there are more people to talk to beside the 5 people in your circle when there are thousands and thousands of other fans.

And when it comes to "problematic" fandoms... I really, REALLY enjoy the media that the fandom is immersed into; like Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, and others. And in these fandoms I meet all types of people and I do try to participate with headcanons and such, but like... sometimes the rotten apples of the fandoms make me psychotic and I just know I have to leave for a bit and then come back when shit dies down because... Yeah, it won't be good for me. +

I never played any of the games because I don't have any of the systems, but I'll watch the "cut scene movies" on YouTube.

[system-of-a-feather]

Unfollow Us Now Challenge

Not actually trying to make you unfollow or anything but just like, putting out our controversial takes that are generally consistent through the system and/or I specifically as a part have no patience for and because I have no patience for it, no one in this system can cause I'm Like That as a part.

Anyways I'm gonna sit here and think of the shit that is 'controversial' about us.

White people are inherently problematic until proven otherwise (Not a hard rule, but general perspective of mine)

"Western Tulpamancy" is cultural appropriation (Not Up For Debate)

We will always reblog the "reblog to explode a TERF" button

We don't believe in heavily policing labels as long as they are in good faith

We do not give two shits about endos / endodiscourse

We half jokingly say we "kin" things

We do not believe in narcissistic abuse and adjacent shit

We are a raging commie (technically "we" aren't, technically only I am, but I'm converting Riku and Im a mega raging commie)

We hate p*dophiles and zoophiles (can't believe this is a 'controversial' topic)

We will judge you if you buy a bred parrot for any reason other than saving it

We are Luciferian / Satanist in philosophy and we really dislike Christianity / Catholicism / Mormonism / Adjacent Religions

We will look at you in extreme judgement if you are shipping incest / pedophilia / etc - especially unapologetically

We support omegaverse and actually think personally it is very gender friendly

We have Cluster B traits - very likely ASPD and NPD

We think syscourse and online discourse in general is dumb

We think the psychiatric system is broken

We think the prison system is broken

We think the medical system is less broken but broken

I hate America with a passion. Other parts not as much but I do.

We are pro legally authorized conservation managed / conscious hunting

We probably would save a bird over a child any day (not a serious one, but we are low empathy to people and love our birds)

We unfortunately live in America, its cool if you wanna unfollow us cause of that, I would too

We are queer and trans ooooh spicey

We are ALSO Asian oooooh bigots begone

We don't know or enough on SW discourse / policy and therefore have no opinion and leave that discussion to people more engaged and dedicated and involved in the pragmatics of that

We think Attack on Titan is HELLA problematic, but Riku very much loves the sound track and art style

Harry Potter just sucks AND is problematic like why do people still engage with it (not actually a huge deal mainly putting this as a joke)

We don't think wild animals should be kept as a pet

We are mild to moderate jocks and love our martial arts

We 100% believe that cats should be kept indoors and heavily judge those that let their cats be let outdoors unsupervised and unleashed

We don't really like most fruits

We are likely aiming for final fusion

If you celebrate Lunar New Year but aren't of a person of the culture and aren't invited by a person of the culture, then we will judge you

We "believe" in Climate Change

We eat meat

Annnnd I can't think of any more. Will update next time I sit down of things people might be upset about.

-XIV

[catocomet]

I posted 102 times in 2022

That's 39 more posts than 2021!

23 posts created (23%)

79 posts reblogged (77%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mingot-studios

@purpledragonfollower

@wellship

@gojocaninfinitymyass

@yourfaveisantiship

I tagged 26 of my posts in 2022

#one piece - 4 posts

#sumeru - 3 posts

#sumeru leaks - 3 posts

#genshin impact - 3 posts

#six of crows - 2 posts

#anna karenina - 2 posts

#please - 2 posts

#this includes literature - 1 post

#i don’t even know anymore - 1 post

#tangerine bullet train - 1 post

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#for people who ask me stuff like why r u still playing if you hate it so much and snicker to themself like haha checkmate...

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Sumeru Character Names

if you’re going to play genshin, you should at least know how to pronounce the character’s names.

note ; i am a farsi speaker. these are farsi pronunciations, but they can be used interchangeably w the arabic. i will also only be doing characters w arab or farsi names as south asian pronunciation is not my forte.

al haitham - al like in alfredo, hai-tam.

tighnari - the g almost sounds like a k here, it’s pretty sharp. tig-nah-hri.

nilou - knee-low.

kaveh - not kavi. it is not even remotely CLOSE to kavi. this one is actually a farsi name, it’s kha-veh.

dehya - day-a.

nahida - nah-he-duh.

i hope this was helpful!!!!

7 notes - Posted September 10, 2022

#4

hi gay history likers do any of u have a link to tsar ivan the terrible (1991)

7 notes - Posted July 10, 2022

#3

as an aroace person i don’t get the discourse around fjorclay. like. aromanticism is a spectrum dude. queer platonic relationships also exist. tbh i think alloromantics should just be quiet ❤️

14 notes - Posted April 9, 2022

#2

“well if you don’t like kanej and helnik what do you like”

wymatt! inej and nina! kazper! wesper ofc (i think it’s the canon ship that has the most goin for it)! kazmatt is good but i think no one ships that and probably for good reason? jesper and nina would be cute too. my apologies for having unwanted opinions and enjoying different things i guess

18 notes - Posted August 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

tangerine from bullet train is gay u can’t tell me otherwise. like he’s got a husband or smth he is so undeniably queer

25 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ohkento]

“ When I met you ...

→ I am Riru ! 19 . Asian . Writing blog . M.list .

" not sure if I should be online right now (⁠-⁠_⁠-⁠;⁠) "

daily life : student who is preparing for professional degree. uneven online patterns.

fandoms : jujutsu kaisen ( nanami kento) , obey me! swd ( lucifer . solomon ) , stardew valley ( elliot ) . the arcana ( asra alnazar ) , mha ( shoto todoroki )

about blog : strictly writing blog . any piece which was inspired by some other creator's piece will be tagged properly.

dnf : if you haven't read rules , you will be blocked (hard only)

"oh you didn't know ?! don't worry !! here , your manual to this place (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)"

this blog may contain mdni content , minors are advised to block the tag #mdni

this blog will contains my writings only , i reblog posts from my other account.

no requests allowed , only suggestions

DNI if you are a lucio (the arcana) supporter/fan/lover/apologist . And Asra × Julian shippers. This blog is NOT for you.

the writings on this blog will be self indulgent in terms of plot

do not interact if you come under basic dni criteria

no drama will be tolerated in my askbox or comment section

active on this blog to the point of writing only , being a student I do not assure you of any interaction

do not request me to be your moot , I follow on my own accord

block , do not report if : you don't like my writing , or me personally for some reason

comment down below a strawberry emoji to let me know that you have read my rules

fairly new on tumblr , criticism is not appreciated

for my main or reblog account, send an ask

any and all pieces of writing or art that inspire my writing will be tagged .

© OHKENTO . do not copy, repost, modify, or translate my works in any platforms.

... my life changed. "

[realhankmccoy]

been thinking about how wise americans are and how much better they are than me. their wisdom usually comes down to how i'm expected to be the provider and become them. i am the most undesirable of all friends and mates and have been getting it wrong this whole time. when JD snapped and shamed at me and demanded tight strictures upon my writing (no politics, no religion, no anything except what he wanted to see) i should have said SIR YES SIR I ALWAYS LET THOSE WITHOUT ANY GAY JERKOFF OR SEX SCNENES WITH FAR LESS INDEPENDENCE AND TALENT AND MORE RACIST WEIRD WHITE PEOPLE CONNECTICUT POLITICS TELL ME WEHAT TO DUE SIR and immediately sent a piece back as long as his three paragraphs apologising for my deviance.

his message to me was BECOME JD OR ELSE.

when my dad said I can't accept as gay i should have said SIR YES SIR I ONLY WANT TO BE LIKE YOU DAD LETS GO BURN DOWN THE MARSHALL ISLAND AND GET SOME BEERS AND MAYBE A HOOKER AND LAUGH AT MY MOTHER I KNOW YOUVE BEEN TRYING TO GET ME TO DO ALL THREE

his message to me was BECOME YOUR DAD OR ELSE

when that woman making six figures in education said she thinks i should work in education and 'ive got guns i'm serious' should have said MAAM YES MAAM I WILL GET GUNS SO I CAN BE AS SERIOUS ABOUT THE REVOLUTION AS YOU AND I WILL GET A JOB IN EDUCATIN MAAM and then relocated myself from an all-white neighborhood to a whiter neighborhood even further away and then turned on the tv and participated in 'the revolution on tv'. she did think she deserved to be President of the United States and i did get that right and say she should be President so whew i mean since she is absolutely the only person who should be leader of the free world cuz she's got guns

her message wasn't to become her as that glory would be impossible. it was GUNS WOULD MAKE YOU MORE SERIOUS GET WITH THE PROGRAM AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR PRESIDENT

indeed, when Bruce insisted i marry a woman and have children and go see a Catholic priest, i should have said SIR YES SIR I WILL CONVERT TO CATHOLICISM BE IN CHURCH EVERY SUNDAY AND FUCK A WOMAN AND GET THE HOTS ABOUT HOMOSEXUAL DESIRES ON THE SIDE LIKE YOU SIR YOU"RE A VERY GOOD BOY SIR

his message to me was BECOME BRUCE OR ELSE

when Chicago Boi wanted me to limit my writing to the number of blips he wrote -- only 2 pings allowed in a message like a normie -- and told me all my writing was really damaging to the world and intimated he was the greatest author of all human history and would be the next John Waters and he had the most impoverished hardest upbringing in history i should have said SIR YES SIR I WILL LIMIT MYSELF AND MY WRITING IS GOING TO HURT EVERYONE I AM WAY OFF THE RAILS I SHOULD FOCUS MORE ON HASHTAGS AND AFFIRMING THE STATUS QUO AND LIKE U AFFIRM BIGGER IS BETTER LIKE A GOOD AMERICAN DOES SIR LIEK YOU SIR YOU HAD IT THE HARDEST YOU ARE THE GREATEST I KNOW A VICE PRESIDENT SLOT THAT MAY BE OPENING THAT SHOULD BE FILLED BY YOU SIR WILL REBLOG RACIST NAZIS LIKE YOU SIR THAT WAY NOBODY WILL GET HURT

his message to me was BECOME CHICAGO BOI OR ELSE

when my rich Asian friend said I am immature i should have said MAAM YES MAAM I SHOULD ACCEPT GAY DISCRIMINATION WHENEVER I SEE IT MAAM IT WAS WRONG OF ME TO SAY IT HURT AND WAS NOT FAIR THE ONLY REASON I AM NOT RICH IS DUE TO IMMATURITY I SHOULD HAVE MARRIED A RICH MAN LIKE YOU MAAM IT MAKES YOU 100 TIMES HARDER WORKING THAN ME MAAM TO LOLLYGAG AROUND THE HOUSE ALL DAY FOR A RICH MAN MAAM

her message to me was BECOME ME OR ELSE

when my Melbourne friend was worried that i wasn't as bland and unresponsively grunting and paranoid of social media as him and didn't regular time my poops into the toilet into as rotely, i should have said SIR YES SIR I WILL BE MORE BLAND AND I WILL START SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS AND THEN DELETE THEM AND THEN COME UP WITH SHADOW ACCOUNTS NOBODY KNOWS OF AND FALSE NAMES AND BE VERY VERY NORMAL AND WRITE NO STORIES AND JUST GIVE YOU THE RACISM YOU GET HOT FOR SIR WE WILL NEVER GET INTO BED WITH NON WHITES SIR

his message to me was BECOME ME OR ELSE

i guess these people have a lot of self love. I mean they really, really, really think they're some sort of yardstick everyone in their lives needs to measure up to, transform themselves into and become.

and there's really no excuse, Jason, why you haven't managed to become them all or else. you could and should have made the rounds. just, poof, presto chango into one, and when that made you human perfection, move onto the next and poof, presto chango into a whole new one, once again human perfection

the problem this whole time has been me only me always me Americans know better Americans are good people very smart very artistic Americans are so incredible that it is hard to imagine how i will ever become, for example

Pikachu Onesie, 37, from Monroe WI

who told me i am too sexual on Scruff and that i need to make my intentions clear rather than pretending i could ever be interested in him and i should have said SIR YES SIR ALL THESE DISGUSTING HOMOS ONLY WANT SEX BUT YOU AND ME ARE DIFFERENT SIR WE ARE THE ONLY TWO DIFFERENT I SAW YOU AND IT WAS ROMANCE AT FIRST SIGHT I JUST WANT TO SLOWLY GET TO KNOW YOU NO SEX I ACTUALLY DONT EVEN SEE MYSELF AS GAY JUST LIKE YOU SIR ALSO I LOVE POKEMON WE SHOULD PLAY VIDEO GAMES TOGETHER SOMETIME SEE WHAT HAPPENS

his message to me was BECOME ME OR ELSE

and i didn't so it's all my fault my fault my fault my fault my fault

and i would be a typical American if i tried to just force all these people to become ME but here i have been minding my own business and liking diversity in the world so that is BAD of me. all the rest of them know you need to steamroll diversity and only surround yourself with those like yourself -- or further to the political right of you, the sort of Nazi you aspire to be -- because diversity is BAD

and clearly these were all Gods, Gods of the highest caliber, the upper echelons of the development of the human DNA, far superior not only to me but to everyone

i had the pinnacle of the fruits of humanity in my grasp sparkling and saying 'become ME or PERISH' and i chose

to perish!

how could i bee so

STUPID!

boo hoo hooooooooooooo hooo hooo hoooooooooo (insert stream sob emojis) wait i don't even know how to do THAT????

what's WRONG WITH ME??? EVERYTHING!

I am truly UNDESIRABLE i should have bought these people all 3 meals a day for a calendar because they were worth it and i'm pond scum

all these people are Gods and i blew it, every error was on my part the failure to throw myself away and become them as they spit on me and demanded it

it was my failure to not just wipe that spit off and mutate overnight into copies of themselves

i can understand why they think so highly of themselves compared to me, tho i mean why wouldn't they? i'm gay

every good person knows gays are the problem gays are remiss gays so they chose wisely in their target with me when they asked me to delete myself and become themself.

if only i hadn't blown it so we all, hand in hand could walk into old age, veering further and further towards the political right, as all systemic people do as they age, walk on off into that Nazi sun together... slowly becoming slightly more Nazi until at the age of 80 our now slightly more conservatives heads rupture and well, hopefully someday human prefection, i mean perfection, is uhcheeved