#i shouly probably post this to my vent sideblog | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anadorablekiwi · 2 months

Text

Nightly existential despair has hit because i live in a broken world where the only job i can emotionally handle is part time produce clerk and my current income is so low i dont have to make student loan payments yet

#tw vent #vent #oh and im gonna need to buy a car soon #id prefer to save 1000 first #500 for down payment and have enough in savings to cover a car payment in case of emergency #currently i have 100 in savings and got paid $250 today for the last two weeks (16 hours total over said two weeks)#i also work a half shift tomorrow #and next week will be another low hours week #i dont know how much yet which makes it worse #i need ti sleep but im wide awake #but its 11pm #i could take a sleeping pill but it might just make me sleep worse #if it does anything at all #and my home life is shit and my siblings piss be off snd stress me out #my mom is the only consistently good thing in my life right now and shes just as much if a mess as i am if not more #so we cant usually lean on each other because we are both just trying ti survive #im getting increasingly less patient snd more fed up with my biological father and siblings which will only make things worse #the only reprieve i can get is my video games but if i spend too much time playing them my depression is worse still #but if i dont play them my depression is worse #*hugging my knees face on knees rocking back and forth*#sorry im always such a mess #i shouly probably post this to my vent sideblog #*proceeds to post to main*

1 note · View note