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anadorablekiwi · 2 months

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Nightly existential despair has hit because i live in a broken world where the only job i can emotionally handle is part time produce clerk and my current income is so low i dont have to make student loan payments yet

#tw vent #vent #oh and im gonna need to buy a car soon #id prefer to save 1000 first #500 for down payment and have enough in savings to cover a car payment in case of emergency #currently i have 100 in savings and got paid $250 today for the last two weeks (16 hours total over said two weeks)#i also work a half shift tomorrow #and next week will be another low hours week #i dont know how much yet which makes it worse #i need ti sleep but im wide awake #but its 11pm #i could take a sleeping pill but it might just make me sleep worse #if it does anything at all #and my home life is shit and my siblings piss be off snd stress me out #my mom is the only consistently good thing in my life right now and shes just as much if a mess as i am if not more #so we cant usually lean on each other because we are both just trying ti survive #im getting increasingly less patient snd more fed up with my biological father and siblings which will only make things worse #the only reprieve i can get is my video games but if i spend too much time playing them my depression is worse still #but if i dont play them my depression is worse #*hugging my knees face on knees rocking back and forth*#sorry im always such a mess #i shouly probably post this to my vent sideblog #*proceeds to post to main*

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orcelito · 7 months

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Salty bitch in me sooooo satisfied by the fact that I probably make more money than the person who made my life hell last year lmfaooooo

#speculation nation #chatting with a coworker about how they ended up seeing her by chance #and she Asked about me. she seemed so preoccupied with me Specifically it seems!#and she apparently mentioned how shed consider coming back here and im just loke #lmfaoooooo girl im in charge of the hiring now and there is no WAY id hire her back #even without the personal grievances. she just caused some Real problems. like hell id accept her back.#but also she was a total BITCH to me. like really fucking nasty. and yeah maybe im still holding a grudge about it!#im a chill person but when someone makes me cry that hard for that long TWICE #yeah fuckin right id hire you back. keep dreaming.#anyways ive just been hanging out at work and chatting Whoops hfkshfj #my shift ended an hour and a half ago. i really should be going home soon.#the good news is i should be able to secure the lease renewal for only $40 more than the original renewal offer #the bad news is they havent replied since sending that which means its not in writing yet #WHICH MEANS the showing is still on for tomorrow. ugh.#which means i need to clean. blegh.#i guess having the pressure to clean isnt the worst but i really dont wanna lmaooo #at least i do have tomorrow off. i can make it work...#but yea my anxiety is a lot more manageable now. tempered by the satisfaction of being better paid than an old enemy #IT'S KIND OF FUNNY to call her that but she kind of is. it was mostly 1 sided bc she took issue with Me #i was fine being friendly work acquaintances but noooo she had to go and make my life fucking hell for several months #the social atmosphere has changed man. im not letting a snake back in.#im a nice person but i am a Resentful person. if youve wronged me i am never fucking forgetting.#but yeah i make more money than her ❤️ yay ❤️

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spaghett-onaplate · 26 days

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it's literally not a good idea in any way shape or form but I want to get a second job in fast food

#it's not a good idea bc the wages are GARBAGE compared to retail #Macca's base rate for my age is less than half my sunday rate #and they don't get much beyond the base rate #whereas retail we have an incredible base rate AND more weekdays past 6pm and weekends (sat is the same as mon-fri 6pm #and sunday is significantly more)#and like yeah im not getting many shifts but if i were to ask for more I still wouldn't be able to work more than 4 hour shifts til july #bc my retail corporation is surprisingly ethical and extends the age limits by a lot #whereas my friend has a 7.5 half hour shift tomorrow AFTER school. on a week night 😁#which is actually horrifying and should nawwt be legal. thats school 9-3 (+20 min) then work 4-11:30 btw #like i should just wait til my birthday in july n ask for more shifts in retail but i want to try fast food #even though the pay is incredibly ridiculously bad (<10 AUD) (yes our adult minimum wage is a good ~23 but under 21 is a percentage of that #like the pay is so bad so i would earn the same or more doing wayy less hours than retail #but i kinda want to get the fast food experience bc it'll be more difficult to get hired as i age #bc i want to save up 20k for top surgery but at the rate im going it'll be difficult to have even thay #let alone savings after top surgery or money to get a car before #and as school gets more difficult it'll be harder to work more #so maybe i should just grind for a few months or til the end of the year then go back to retail exclusively?#and enjoy higher pay and some longer shifts?#but idkkk it's just such a dilemma bc i want more shifts than I'll get at retail but fast food pays so little #but i also really want the experience and to just try it out #im gonna. idk im gonna sit on it for a bit bc i want to get my legal name change sorted before i apply to any second jobs and that will #take a while #so i shall consider. draw up a timetable. write a pros and cons list #yes that sounds like a solid plan #whoop typo but im on mobile i meant 'wayy less hours IN retail'

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house-in-the-backyard-trees · 20 days

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Both me and my one coworker are going through a breakup.

The day I got broken up with I tried to call off. I wasn't allowed bc it wasn't a good enough reason. I came in and cried on and off at work when I really should've told them to fuck off and I'd be back the next shift.

Yesterday she got to go home early and now she's off for the foreseeable future as she's on a 72 hour hold that I'm pretty sure I shouldn't have even been told about.

Last week I had to disguise my anxiety/depression related illness for a week as a nasty stomach bug just so I could manage to pull myself together enough bc I couldn't eat or sleep or drink or exist without bawling. I am still struggling.

Now I am going to have to continue to do the work of me and my two coworkers bc neither of them can ever fully do their job while trying to fill in for this coworker bc I am the only dependable worker here other than my manager so she'll certainly be asking me to come in on my days off and come in early/leave late and bc I am a people pleaser who doesn't know how to say no to the point where I'm pretty sure it's a form of passive self harm, I'm gonna do it and more than likely find myself in yet another mental breakdown.

I am exhausted of the double standards where so much is expected of me at this job but my coworkers get away with not even remembering their sign in numbers (I have to remember it for her) or consistently doing nothing to the point that our district manager and/or general manager has had at least 5-6 talks with her.

Last week was so hard bc everything all caught up to me. And I had to hide it just so I could pull myself together enough to pretend everything's fine so I don't let anyone down.

#maybe i should've just went to the fucking mental hospital last week #still sounds like a good idea if i have to put up with only three people working again and one of them not even knowing how to close even #though I've taught her she just can't remember shit. I'm trying like hell to get out of here even though it's a good job. it's so fucking #easy which is why i don't understand why my coworkers just leave it all on me. like i shouldn't have to tell you what to do you've been her #a month. we have a list of daily tasks. i shouldn't be the only one stocking everything. besides i also struggle to tell people what to do #so i just do it myself. have to hype myself up to tell her to count her drawer down bc it takes her over half an hour.#i already got asked to stay late today so i worked almost a 12 hour shift and then tomorrow a 9 and then I'm off Tuesday so we'll have to #see if i get asked to come in

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ladylynse · 9 months

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(Mostly.)

#I've been quiet for a while because I've been so exhausted #haven't touched my computer in a week except for some editing I had to do for someone IRL and I was still half asleep for that #got a reprieve from the long shifts today tho so more awake #gonna do those three sentence fics that have been in my asks #ngl tho I probably will go quiet again #maybe not right away because it's supposed to rain Monday so it won't be long hours if it does just normal hours #and my day tomorrow should be short because I'm not on the crew doing the long shift #but I also have a bunch of other things planned for tomorrow because we weren't gonna work at all so uh #probably not gonna do much on the writing front

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altruistic-meme · 5 months

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still soooo not looking forward to waking up tomorrow why couldn't they have just let us start in January

#we're literally going to work 1 weel and then be off for a week for christmas #like what's the point half of the people are gonna forget!!!! what they learned!!!!!#they could've given us this weel off but noooooo #i have to start my new shift and location tomorrow and I'm sad about it #i should also get up now bc i qoke up at 5am which is the tone I'll need to wake up tomorrow #but i ✨️don't want to✨️#so instead I'm gonna try and nap a little longer #shh ac

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thefabelmans2022 · 7 months

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i was out all day yesterday and by the time i got home i was like "wow maybe this physical activity thing actually works maybe i am capable of going out and doing things disability what disability i feel GREAT" and then i woke up this morning i was like ah. that disability.

#i'm so fucking tired #i was running on adrenaline sunshine and a starbucks strawberry acai refresher and now those things are gone and it's just me #and my sore back and my iron deficiency and my pms and my possible chronic fatigue syndrome #good god. good fucking god.#like it was a good day!! it was nice while it lasted!!#i hung out at the state library and i went into st kilda and checked out a venue for my sister's birthday and it was perfect #and then i went to the museum for my volunteer shift for 3 and a half hours #and then i came home on public transport at peak hour and i didn't get a seat on the train for a long while #but at the time i was like that's okay i have my little beverage and my killers of the flower moon audiobook #but now my back and thighs are screaming at me for being a total idiot and i can barely think or process information #and tomorrow i not only have to go out AGAIN but i also have to email my supervisor with a summary of the work i've done this week #well clare. it's not a lot. sorry girl.

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chronic-invisibility · 8 months

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Ya boy got not 1 but 2 friday the 13th tattoos today!

#friday the 13th #friday the 13th tattoos #i also had some kind of allergic reaction/awful sneezing fit thing on the way home #i took zyrtec when i got home and that didnt help so i took benadryl and that only helped a little #did a covid test which was negative but i fucked up the liquid thing so it could be wrong #i’ve used at least half a box of the good tissues with the lotion in them and my nose and upper lip are still raw from blowing my nose sm #i dont really think the allergy/whatever this is thing is related to the tattoos bc i dont have a rash or anything #and idek if it is allergies bc usually when i have an allergic reaction like this i also get hives and my face swells up #and that didnt happen. so idk what this is #and im supposed to go to work tomorrow but if i feel like this still theres no way i can do a 9 hour shift #but i do not have the option to call out of work bc im the only immunizer #but also my last day is wednesday so kinda who gives a fuck #idk all i know is im in bed already and it’s 12:09 which is the earliest ive been in bed in forever

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yuribalisms · 1 year

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I hope rats chew away at the electrical wires in all the management’s houses and cause electrical fires and they all explode

#first we have homophobe Mctransphobe who has been walking around threatening to write up anyone out/visibly queer for random shit that no #one else gets written up for #not to mention we are severely understaffed and are getting in WAY more product in then we are supposed to so we can’t keep up #and we have no SPACE for new product because a couple weeks ago the management made us put out???? all our backstock????#(and we TOLD them that would result in us not having space for new products when we got them but they didn’t FUCKING listen)#and when we told them we needed more space they said they would give us more space and then :))))))#they FUCKING TOOK AWAY SPACE INSTEAD #and tonight FUCKING TONIGHT #we finally had enough staff to MAYBE start getting caught up #(at least to get to the point where there were not random carts and pallets filled with product all over the place)#and management came up to us and told us we ‘were working too close together and needed to separate’#and when we attempted to explain we were working on putting out product that management demanded we put up #they said that didn’t matter we couldn’t work that close to each other because we would ‘waste time talking’#except because of that half our staff is WASTING WHOLE HOURS OF A SHIFT ON SHIT THAT DOESNT NEED DONE BECAUSE THEY GOT MOVED SOMEWHERE ELSE #and I KNOW tomorrow when I come in they’re gonna yell at me for leaving product out in carts and on pallets 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#I hope you die I hope you explode I hope you never know happiness #I hope you stupid fucking homophobic transphobic racist ASSHOLES with CONTROL ISSUES and IQS IN THE NEGATIVES goddamn DIE #I cannot EXPRESS how much I FUCKING hate the management here #(they also ONLY put the visibly queer folks in my department and then mismanage us like this and threaten to write us up/fire us)#(it has officially become a pattern and I am going to LOSE my mind)#I hate this fucking job I hate this fucking company #(the general manager also told me during a meeting recently that staff wouldn’t be allowed to evacuate if there was a CO2 leak because the #building was big enough it should be ‘safe’)#I literally feel like I am going fucking insane #there is so much shit here that could honestly probably win lawsuits but no one who works here has the energy to genuinely fight back #because they overwork us to hell and back #I want to quit so bad but I know no where else is gonna pay me this much #(and that insane pay divide between here and anywhere else in town is the only way they ARE keeping staff)#UGH #kaz rambles

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iero · 2 years

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I know I’m speaking from a place of privilege here, but I’m taking the train for the first time in a LONG time tomorrow and I’m so fucking nervous it’s not even funny.

#personal #Apparently I was on a train when I was like 6 or something but that was it?#Anyway I leave for Pittsburgh TOMORROW. It's crazy.#Also first time staying in an AirBNB as well which also makes me nervous?#I don't know. I guess first time experiences make me nervous.#I don't know why I'm choosing NOT to drive the four hours to Pittsburgh. It's just laziness and me knowing I'm gonna be fucking tired.#I'm literally not gonna get any sleep this weekend I know it LMAOOO.#I'm not gonna get any sleep TONIGHT because of nerves/excitement and I still have to work for half my shift tomorrow.#And then it's straight to the station... 😳#<- Which is why I chose not to drive straight there. Have to be up for work at 4 AM work and then drive for four hours?#There is a chance I might have fell asleep at the wheel... I'm not risking it and also it's just laziness LMAO.#I don't want to drive the eight hours total. I'm SORRY.

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mimiri22-6 · 2 years

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I'm not even halfway through the most recent episode and I am Terrified for Arlin

I think I'm gonna have to save the 2nd half for tomorrow because I am actually getting tired. I worked today and I finally listened to the

#jrwi riptide ep86 #I think I'm gonna have to save the 2nd half for tomorrow because I am actually getting tired. I worked today and I finally listened to the #2 most recent episodes as an unwind and. well. it actually worked I think #that or going to bed earlier yester helped.#OH NO WAIT WHAT IF IM THIS TIRED DURING MY NEXT FEW SHIFTS?! I THINK I'M GONNA BE WORKING AT ABOUT THE SAME TIME AS RN THIS WEEK #0_0 #but also i need to be up early for my drivers testttt #shitttttttt

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greatestwizardofthisage · 3 days

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i’m glad that i stayed up to watch it but now i have 4 hours to get some sleep before i have to get up for work

#also usually i watch the episodes on thursday straight after work and can watch the adventuring party straight after #it feels weird not having another half hour of banter to watch rn #but it’ll give me something to motivate me through what i think will be a pretty brutal shift #i have to do baby hand prints at 10am tomorrow i am going to die