#i sound like a child but like..... this just can't be all there is to life?????

[haunting-hole]

this is so fucking funny to me bc unlike with her you Could argue that was the reasoning behind mithrun being sent to the canaries: choosing his brother who wasn't very physically strong or well regarded status-wise would probably be seen as insulting to the crown or whatever. mithrun was just mad about it bc despite being the 'perfect' son he still ends up in the losing side of this power dynamic, he's not angry his parents would trade a child for better status he's just angry that the child they traded was Him, despite him playing along by elf society's rules perfectly. but because he measures his own worth by how well he can play that role, him not reaping all the benefits that come with it automatically means he must be inferior somehow. Pattadol on the other hand. im sorry there's no way her parents just didnt pick whatever kid they'd care less about losing sorry pattadol. she was sent to the canaries after the utaya incident where whatever vast amount of elfs died was enough to leave them understaffed for years. there's no way a massacre like this wouldn't be fresh in any parents mind. even if they just couldn't refuse the queens request or something, it still stands that they looked at their kids and went. hm which one of those are we willing to risk getting utaya'd okay pattadol it was nice knowing you. and the only reason this doesn't utterly fuck her up as it should. is that shes genuinely like. nooooo was i a bad daughter :( well i can't think of any flaws that i have actually. am i just too awesome yeah that sounds right and im fine now. insane. entire crisis averted bc pattadol is simply too confident in herself

[wh1msic4alwasab1]

⋆˚࿔ 𝐃𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

synopsis: how genshin men would degrade you <3

tags: degrading (obviously) facesitting, mentions of gagging, oral, penetration, explicit

wrd cnt: 800+

a/n: cooking up an hsr version soon

Ayato is always complete and proper in his semantics, he's fair and he loves to praise you.

But tonight...you stretched his patience too thin and his only choice was to stretch your little cunt til you couldn't talk back anymore. "Fuck, you're tight, honey.. this is what you want, isn't it?"

This day was big for Ayato, but you just had to keep pestering him with question after question. Usually, he'd entertain your playfulness but tonight was stressful. So he took it out on you instead. Call it karma?

"Clenching from my vulgarity..what a whore you are." He whispered into your ear, bending you across his desk, while all the guests sat outside having tea while you got fucked hard from behind by Ayato, who put a hand over your mouth, warning you greatly to stay quiet and stop those slutty moans of yours.

"Am I wrong or, did you not hear me? Ayato said lowly, slowly growing more and more annoyed and irritated at your misbehavior.

"Do you need me to gag that mouth of yours, y/n?” Sounding more like a promised threat than a question.

The only way you can get yourself out of this is giving Mr. Kamisato all he asks for and more, and be an obedient girl.

Nothing could really piss off Alhaitham as much as you, but not in the way that's most obvious.

He hated how much you doubted yourself, looked down on yourself, and harbored deep annoyance of the fact you didn't love the things about you he can't get enough of.

Sure, he could give you a little cute pep-talk but, fucking it into you is the approach that'll really make it stick. Some reverse psychology maybe?

After hearing you badmouth yourself for what felt like hours, he's stripping you of all your clothes and sitting you onto the couch armrest, forcing you to look him in the eyes; daring you to say those things again.

"Fucking pathetic is what you are. You're lucky I'm not fucking that stupid shit out of your mouth". He said, grabbing your hips as he sat down, positioning your cunt over him.

Not sure if you should just hover, his large hand lands on your ass, surely leaving a handprint.

"Sit down y/n." Alhaitham groaned, pulling your hips down onto his face and swallowing your clit with his tongue; his eyes never leaving you and your perfect tits.

Wriothesley loved showering you with compliments and nothing but the sweetest of words, but sometimes he just can't hold back all the filthy things he knows you want from him.

Oftentimes he's just worried you're gonna start crying, but fuck is it hot when you do.

"Fuck, I'm gonna ruin your pretty little mouth." He breathes out, watching you kiss up his cock. On your knees and eyes up is his favorite way to gaze at you, and it's just so easy for him to fuck your face.

"Wrio...you said-"

"Sluts don't get to talk." He cuts you off, his brows raised in amusement as he lights up a cigarette and throws the lighter somewhere, taking his cock in one hand to push past your lips as the other keeps the cig inbetween his fingers.

"Open that dirty fucking mouth of yours... can't take it all of a sudden?" He says, shoving it deep into your throat while his hand grips the back of your head, letting you take it at your own pace before he throws his head back and thrusts his hips up as he hears all the sloppy noises, waiting for your glossy eyes to make an appearance.

Now, Childe really tries to be sweet and praiseful, but he loves how disgusting and filthy you can be, and it's even better when he gets to tells you how much he loves it.

Wearing a new outfit wasn't something you expected to lead to something like this.

Definitely not being put in a tight mating press by your lover, pressed into the couch cushions while he left marks all over your neck and collar, biting and sucking places anyone could see to leave no guessing who's you belong to.

"Look at your thighs...they're just spilling out. You look like a filthy slut, do you want me to fuck you like one? Is that it?" He asked, pulling and smacking the material of your stocking that you didn't think too much of, but the minute he saw you walk out in them his cock wanted to spring out and get in between your thighs. But your pussy was an even better spot.

Deep and deeper be thrusted, the springs in the furniture squeaking while your voice almost did the same, cursing and moaning his name while he kept you close. Small protests for him to be quick fell from your lips, urging him so the two of you could get to where you were headed prior to this..."short" break.

"Are you gonna be a good girl or a fucking headache?" He asked, only fucking your harder and slower, a hand finding to squeeze the sides of your neck.

whimsic4alwasab1 ™ - do not copy, translate, modify, or claim any of my work as your own.

[otomiyaa]

Small Spoon

Dr. Ratio x Aventurine

A/N: Stupid spontaneous plotless fics where Aventurine is getting himself into situations. My new genre. (ref)

Summary: No plot, just cuddles and tickles... (Also on AO3)

Word Count: 1.2K

It was truly a waste. Aventurine stared at the large surface of Dr. Ratio's back. He was huge. He had long arms. Yet all the times they slept together, he would be like this. Aventurine sighed. It felt as if he was sleeping next to a rock.

"Ratio~" Aventurine whined. He grabbed Ratio's shoulder and shook him.

"Hrrrmh," was the grumbly sound he got in return.

"Turn around for once, won't you?" Aventurine asked, pouting.

"Don't want to. Go to sleep." Ugh, so cold.

"You're always like this. Just cuddle me for once. I'll be the small spoon. I've always wanted to be the small spoon," Aventurine said, still shaking Ratio's shoulder. If he was annoying enough, he surely would give in at some point.

Even though they were not really officially a couple, he thought Dr. Ratio owed him some cuddles. He had no trouble kissing him, or making love to him. He had that amount of passion inside him, so a cuddle was the least Aventurine could ask for, right?

"Ratiooooo~" Aventurine put both his hands on Ratio's shoulder and he shook him, whining like a small child.

"Just be the big spoon for once?" he sang.

"Please? Pretty, pretty please? You're no fun at all. Why always sleep with your back towards me? Let's spoon, just once. Only this time then?"

And yes, he really was getting on Ratio's nerves, and so... it was working!

"I really can't stand you," Ratio growled as he turned around, and he forcefully turned Aventurine over as well, getting him in the position of a small spoon, and he wrapped his arms around him.

"Now happy?" Aventurine heard Ratio ask, and he giggled. He sounded so annoyed, but hey, they were cuddling right now.

It was exactly as he expected. Those long arms were very fitting to hold him. It felt good, sexy, safe... He nodded, grinning.

"I'm happy. Good night."

It really did feel comfortable to cuddle. Ratio's strong arms were wrapped around him quite tightly, but not too tight. It felt warm and comfortable. See? It wasn't so hard. Even someone like Dr. Ratio could be a proper cuddler. Satisfied with himself, Aventurine closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

However, the moment he drifted off... He twitched when he felt a sudden tickle on his stomach. He opened one eye and waited. What was that? Maybe Ratio did that by accident. But soon when he closed his eyes again, he felt another tickle, and he gasped.

"Ratio?" he asked quietly. No answer. Maybe he was asleep and his fingers were just, well yeah, moving around in his sleep?

"Rahahatio?" Aventurine started to second-guess that possibility when those fingers began to dance around more quickly, all over his belly and sides. He couldn't hold back the giggles now and began to dance in Ratio's grip.

"Rahahatio y-you're tihihickling mehehe," he giggled. He squirmed and struggled, but he was caught... like a small spoon in a trap, and Ratio wasn't saying a thing.

When the ticklish touches became fiercer, Aventurine let out more of his voice. It was impossible that Ratio was asleep through all this, and even more impossible that these tickles were a mere accident. That little bitch.

"RAha-Ratio! Thihis isn't fuhuhunny!" Aventurine really tried to move but couldn't. He shook his head but couldn't even turn around to see the expression on Ratio's face. What the hell was he thinking!

"Stohohop this instahahant! I cahahan't sleep- l-like thihihis!"

Aventurine's arms could do little to protect himself. He really tried, but in this position it was just too hard to fight back, and when Ratio's fingers lowered and dug into his lower abdomen, Aventurine lost some of his dignity with the uncharming squeaks he set loose.

"Gwwwahahahah! Nohohoho- come ohohon! That tihihickles! Ratiahahaah!" He kicked and struggled, but it seemed that his request to be the small spoon was still being fulfilled, and he really started to get the impression that this was Ratio's revenge for bothering him with such a troublesome request.

Really, was that it? Ugh, so typical of him to make Aventurine regret this!

"AHAh-Ahahalright! Alriiight! You cahahan lehehet me go nohohow! I won't behehe the smahahall spoo-ahahaha!" Aventurine cackled, but still no word came from his attacker. Just those annoying fingers touching Aventurine in his most sensitive places and nothing he could do about it, and it was as if he was never going to stop.

"I sahahaid lehehet me gohoho ahaahahah!" he cried, and he jumped in Ratio's arms when those attacking fingers had started to pinch and squeeze his hips and lower sides. It was a murderous tickle hug, and no matter how much he struggled and fought, Dr. Ratio really had an iron grip on him.

"Naahaha no mohohore! Not thehehere! Not-whaahah!" Those fingers were now carefully scratching at his ribs. Over them, in between them. So ticklish it made him shake and twitch as if he was being electrocuted. And still, there was no way for him to escape.

Aventurine was just busy wondering how much more he could take, and whether Ratio would be reasonable if he try to make up a convincing excuse, such as almost wetting his pants, when all of a sudden the tickling stopped.

"Eh.... Ratio? Doctor?" Aventurine asked. He breathed heavily and tried to squirm around, but Ratio's arms were still wrapped around him, refusing to let him move. Aventurine grabbed Ratio's arms again and tried to pull them off him in another attempt to free himself from the iron cuddle.

"You may eh- you may let go now," Aventurine said tiredly, but Ratio still wouldn't budge. Aventurine was so busy trying to pull those arms off him, that it took him really by surprise when Ratio's hands turned back into claws and tickled him once again, making him screech.

"RATIOOOOO AHahaha!" Aventurine laughed angrily. Thist was just insane! And at last, finally, Ratio said something, but it wasn't a pleasing thing to hear. He leaned in and said in his ear:

"Have fun being the small spoon, gambler. I doubt you'll ever ask for this again."

Aventurine blinked. Such a petty doctor! "If you didn't want to do it, you could've just said nooooAHAHAhah!"

There was no way to reason with him, no way to convince him that what he was doing was just childish and silly and meaningless. So all Aventurine could do was stay in Ratio's arms and endure any tickling he had in store for him, any moment of their sleepless night.

And still.... When considering the options: ice queen Ratio, sleeping with his long back towards him and not even acknowledging him even when they shared a bed, or... tickle monster Ratio, keeping Aventurine prisoner in his embrace and tickling the hell out of him while he couldn't move?

Strange enough, it was still the tickle monster option Aventurine would prefer over the ice queen. Now, if he could discover a nice in-between option, cuddler Ratio without the tickle monster part. Then he would find gold. But not for now. For now, this was his lovely prize... So be it!

[furiousgoldfish]

This is going to sound incoherent to those who haven't been told over and over they're monsters or demons or animals as children, but I need to write it down.

It was often I would be told that I was some kind of evil creature and not a child, as a justification for abusing me, and I wouldn't have any kind of response to that, because how do you combat that? How do you respond to a parent or a family member calling you a snake and a swine and satan? I would get frozen in doubt and start to internalize, that I must be non-human, I must be evil and fundamentally wrong and demonic in some way, because I couldn't find any argument against it. After all, these people were saying it so surely, so filled with rage and righteous justice, that I was non-human, that it was not only okay but necessary to hurt me, and it's all I've ever known. And I still get flashbacks to those moments when I would be told stuff like 'you should have been strangled to death the second you were born', and I freeze. It hurts. I can't reason with hatred like that.

It's only today my brain finally found some counter arguments to it.

Was I born to a human being, or to an animal? If I had been an animal, I would have been born to an animal mother. And she wouldn't hate me like you do. Even if I was a baby snake, there would have been no need to torture me, I would have been normal and natural as a snake. But, even as a child, I had arms and legs, it was obvious I wasn't a snake.

If I as a demon, how would I be born into a family of humans? Wouldn't it be shown in the color of my eyes, or my skin, or my actions? Have I been displaying anything but normal child behaviour? How would anyone be able to tell I was a demon, if I was born to humans, acted like a normal human child, and had never done acts of irreparable evil and sadism? What made me a demon then?

If there was nothing but evil in me, why was I in so much fear and pain all the time? Is that how evil-doers feel? Why was I too scared to do even normal, mundane things that other kids fearlessly did? Why was nobody afraid of me? Why did people feel comfortable hurting me, cornering me and attacking me, if I was so dangerous and malicious?

It was painfully obvious that I was a human child from the start. Calling a human child demonic is not normal, it's not well-intentioned, it's not for the child's own good. It's cruel and vicious. And it wasn't based on anything inside of me. You saw a child you wanted to hurt repeatedly, and making the child believe they're not human was the simplest way for you to get away with it. Why did you need to hurt the child repeatedly? Even if you believed it was something else, an animal or an evil creature, why did it give you pleasure to hurt it over and over again? Why would you intentionally corner a small creature inside of your home and cause pain to it? Did it give you pleasure to see fear and tears? Did you enjoy it so much you just had to keep doing it?

All small humans are the same, they have small little limbs, they're squishy, they're sensitive, they get spooked and scared easily, they like playing brave to make themselves feel stronger. There's no reason to corner and torture one, and call them evil for that. I was the same. I was acting brave but I was small, and soft, with little limbs, easily spooked, easily brought to tears. What was in you to want to break me? What was it worth to you to do it?

You could have picked any child for it, and it wouldn't have made any difference. I was just what was in the house.

[poetryandfluffycats]

His Girl~

A/N: part of my Nikolai stalker au! might be the last one for awhile since for may ill be on the grind for enstars NSFW month🤍

Pairing: Kidnapper!Nikolai Gogol x fem!reader

Content: Bathing with kidnapper Nikolai...

Warnings: kidnapping, suggestive(?)

Words: 887

Oneshot under cut!

"Dove, how would you like a bath?"

Nikolai leaned over my shoulder, wrapped his arms around my middle and squeezing my belly fat. "Hm, and maybe some new clothes? You must be getting sick of this old number! Aha!"

A bath? I would've loved a bath. It'd been so long since the last time I'd properly bathed, my only way of cleaning myself whilst down here being a dirty rag and a bucket. Even though there was a bathtub in the bathroom of the basement, Nikolai had never let me use it for whatever reason.

The thought of clean water, soap, shampoo, maybe even bubbles? It had me tingling. New clothes too? Clearly something had put Nikolai in a good mood today, which I wasn't going to complain about.

Something about the offer, however, made me shiver. Something about the way he held me, about the way he squeezed me just a bit too tight, told me that he wasn't doing this out of the kindness of his own heart.

"That sounds nice..." I mumbled, turning my head around to face him. There it was, that stare again. Pupils blown out beyond humanness, jagged teeth showing in his wide grin.

Anyone would've called me crazy if I told them, but that was his happy face.

"Wonderful! Yes, let's get you all nice and squeaky clean, hm?"

He intertwined his fingers with mine, a bounce in his step as he dragged me towards the bathroom, which was located in the far corner of the basement. Once inside, he closed and locked the door behind us, patting the counter top and gesturing for me to sit down. I did as he wanted, hopping up onto the counter and swinging my legs back and forth.

The action reminded me of when I was a child, watching my mother do her makeup at the vanity while I begged her to put some on me too. I wondered if she missed me, if anyone did.

"Now, I wasn't sure what type of scent you liked, so I got a whole bunch! I think the lady at the store thought I was crazy, aha!" Nikolai giggled, opening the cabinet beneath me and pulling out bottle after bottle of shower products. "Strawberry, peach, vanilla, cherry, this ones called 'A thousand wishes' how odd...! Oh, bath salts, you need bath salts! Here, I got a few options for those as well"

"Vanilla sounds nice" I smiled softly, pointing at the bottle in question. Nikolai grabbed it and popped open the lid, holding it out for me to smell. "Smells nice too"

"Vanila it is then! I'll fill the tub, and you strip for me, mkay? Don't be embarrassed, I'll behave myself! Scouts honour"

Scouts honour? I couldn't imagine Nikolai as a boyscout, actually, I couldn't imagine the manic as a child at all. I preferred to think of him as some sort of demon that just spawned one day as what he is now. What would a younger Nikolai be like? Probably the kind who went around setting bee hives on fire and stealing from the collection box at church.

"Strip, strip, strip! Don't keep me waiting, dove" Nikolai sang, tilting his head to the side, keeping an eye on me as he fiddled with the faucets of the bath.

"Kolya...?" I hesitated in pulling my nightgown off, the fabric bunching up in my grip.

"Hm?"

"Don't stare, okay?"

"You can count on me, love! But, you can't blame me if I do sneak a few peeks, alright? How am I supposed to bathe my girl without looking at her? Hm?"

My girl.

What an idiot. I wasn't his property, you couldn't own a person, didn't matter how long you kept them trapped in your basement.

Without any further trouble, I untied the bow holding my gown together, letting it slip down my frame and pool at my ankles, leaving me completely exposed and vulnerable at Nikolais mercy. I was quick to cover my chest as I hopped off the counter top, trying to keep just an ounce of my modestly intact.

"What a beautiful body-eck! Stupid Nikolai, stupid! She doesn't want you staring! Stupid, stupid, stupid!" The jester hit himself in the head a few times, muttering a string of different curse words with each smack.

"Ah, ignore me, dove. Go on! Baths nice and warm for you!"

I didn't need to be told twice, mumbling a quick thanks as I slid down into the tub. It felt like bliss, the bubbles popping under my weight and creating a tickling sensation on my skin. The water was hot, but not so hot you felt like you might boil to death. Just right.

I reached for the vanilla scented body scrub that Nikolai had layed out for me, only to have him grab my wrist before I could get a hold of it. "Ah-ah-Ah, allow me" He wagged his finger back and forth, grabbing the scrub himself and scooping a generous amount into his palm.

It felt wrong, his grubby hands on my bare skin. This should have been a luxury for me, something to enjoy, but I couldn't help but feel like a piece of meat on display. Mere prey, a toy to dress up.

And in a way I was.

[ravenbloodshot]

seonghwa sounds a bit stingy like he just wants someone to fuck with and be done with them after that? maybe he treats girls like tissues or smth else thats temporary nothing he has to be responsible for in terms of "relationship". ewww. im sure hes nice on the outside but i dont vibe with ppl like that. san tho yh no problem lol.

Well, Seonghwa has multiple Aries placements, and that's a sign known to be quite self-centered, usually not intentionally but almost in a pure way. That's why we call Aries the babies of the zodiac. It's kind of like how a child can't understand why they have to share all of their things with a new sibling. (Not trying to infantilize him or ppl with Aries placements, but it's a common trait). The good thing is he has a venus in Aquarius, so he would want his partner to be just as self-centered and independent as he is. Likely someone more eccentric and into unconventional relationships.

Now, San's ideal type and way of acting can be more digestible, but I personally don't prefer it. I like Seonghwa's way over Sans, only bc San can be a bit too obsessive and sensitive.

[wiggly-round-worm]

I’ll be honest i HATE the way the QSMP fanbase is treating Gegg and Tallulah. Like Gegg literally just appears, bro hasn’t done a single thing and people start talking about how they want him to die 😭 ?? And Tallulah starts feeling insecure trough no fault of Gegg and the Gegg tag just EXPLODES with hate. I’m a big petty baby and i don’t like seeing /neg in the tags bro. It just kinda feels like tallulahs the golden child who can do no wrong and Geggs the scapegoat who’s blamed for everything, and i feel like people are already taking it too far

[alsojnpie]

shrieks of unimaginable suffering are keeping me from reading my book. oh wait actually they just ended

[moongothic]

God I wish I could remember what Oda once said about mothers in One Piece... I can't remember if it was about Luffy's mother in particular or moms in general, but he essentially joked about how you'd have to be A Really Horrible Mother to allow your child to go off and become a pirate (dangerous business no loving mother would allow)

And just... My vague memory of that comment is living in my head right now, because truly, if Crocodile somehow is Luffy's mom, truly nothing would make him a worse mom than

Literally trying to murder his child and beating him to near death multiple times the first time they actually meet

Going so far to stop being a mom that he became a dad instead

[linabirb]

the professor has read my work and said i'll have to rewrite all of it because it sounds like a five year old wrote it

[azol-otl]

Random Jason Hijinks I either wish would happen someday or find amusing to think about.

Rose and Jason break Eddie out of hell and steal his soul back from Neron. Jaime is dragged along by Rose because he and Eddie were “friends a few reboots ago”. Jason asked Roy who sent him Connor who is suffering™.

Pre-Red Hood Jason and Pre-Green Arrow Connor first meet up back when Jason was part of the All-Caste hunting a demon. It’s a one-shot adventure and the things you have to know are:  

a) this is before Jason’s growth spurt so he’s over a head shorter than Connor.

b) Connor isn’t a cape so excuse him for not understanding demons and fucking up hilariously a few times.

c) When Jason tries to kill the demon who is possessing the human, he and Connor fight about it. The fight ends when the demon explodes out of the person like the Pus of Man from Dark Souls 3.

d) Talia is the one who finds and picks up Jason from the adventure (Connor thinks she’s his mom and Jason just didn’t inherit the melanin) and is also the one who gives Connor contact information for Jason because she wants him to have some sort of friend.

e) They never actually learned the other’s name so anytime they’d hear about Red Hood or Green Arrow they literally don’t know it’s that guy they met as teenagers.

Jason decides to actually dust off his mystic training when Dick walks in and Jason gets hit with so many bad vibes he’s genuinely worried something is wrong with Dick.  

Jason: “Did they not fix the Brother Blood mind control thing fully? Did Raven miss something? Isn’t Dick friends with a million people? How have they all missed this????”

It ends with bringing Danny Chase back to life and the only person remotely happy about it is Jason and even that’s a stretch.

Rose, why are you part of the Wild Hunt?!!!

What do you mean Biz got taken by the fae?!

Roy, why is this werewolf saying he’s your husband?!

Eddie, why didn’t you tell me you were a prince of hell? What do you mean that one of Trigon’s sons is buried in Gotham?!!! No wait, you still haven’t told me how you’re a prince of hell!

Jason and Talia's road trip where Jason comes to the uncomfortable realization that he views Talia as a mother/aunt figure.

Bonus Artemis suffering Jason’s Mom Has it Going On.

Jason gets a new dog named Ellie and he loves her and Dog very much. What do you mean she’s a Blue Lantern!?

Ellie is short for Elpis and she’s absolutely Hope Corgi.

Roy finds out that he has a whole-ass checking account under one of his aliases that he never knew about. Turns out Jason created it for him years ago and Roy’s actually under W.E.  employed as an independent contractor and he’s been making 6 figures for years because Jason never bothered telling anyone that he still owns Wayne R&D.

Jason slowly but surely claims Park Row and the surrounding areas as his territory. It has the unforeseen consequence of magical folk moving into the neighborhood because Gotham is a nightmare to live in normally, Magic Gotham is even worse and the only people who can survive are big hitters like Blood, Zatanna, and Ivy or small fries like the kitchen witch near Leslie’s. Welcome to the big leagues, Jason.

Jason keeps getting mistaken for Jason Blood and it is annoying. One day some demon hunters threw something at Jason and did anyone know Jason used to be in heaven because he sure didn’t and these angel wings are a fucking nightmare.

Rose busts a gut laughing because she somehow became friends with the least demon-y demon Eddie and Jason as an angel.

Jason, Ivy, Sideways, and Impulse (Impulse voice: “Why am I even here?”) vs the Madness Wavelength in Arkham.

Jason kills Joker and finds out that he cannot. Not as in “He doesn’t die” or “There will be a new one” but a secret third option, “The universe literally resets the day every time he’s killed.” Instead of being a tragedy, it becomes a comedy as killing Joker slowly becomes Jason’s go-to when shit goes wrong/killing him is good stress relief. Stephanie discovers what happens because she’s had to write the same essay nine times once. Instead of being horrified they (and then Helena, Tim, Duke, etc.) make killing Joker a gag. The only ones not allowed to kill the Joker are Dick and Bruce because then the universe decides it’s the bad timeline instead of just resetting again.

Tim: *drops his latte on a hot guy and then embarrasses himself in public trying to apologize and becomes a meme.*

Tim: I guess I have to kill Joker now.

Jason and Kory remeeting and wow it’s really awkward that we only got close because of a universe meddler and then you dipped and never contacted me again even though I was a hundred percent serious that you were one of my first friends and are very important to me.

Oh no. Not the talking. Not communication! Kory take mercy on me and just drop me like a bad memory don’t have us open a dialogue where we reconcile all of the bullshit that happened to us and the fact that we did genuinely get close at very low points in our lives and be willing to try and be friends again!

Give! Kory! All! The! Friends! She doesn’t care if you think it’s a bad idea, it's her life!

Gotham Vigilante Tabletop Club (GVTC) featuring Jason, Tim, Stephanie, Duke, Helena, and Harper. They each get a turn as dm and every one of them brings in a different game.

Why is Damian’s friend (Colin) asking me for love advice? I’m a gay disaster ask anyone else please. ??? I guess I can try to help??? Who’s your crush?

It’s Lian and Jason regrets agreeing to help because Roy is going to murder him.

Countdown 2 Electric Boogaloo. Except for this time they were all shoved into the dimension separately and by separate events and there is no danger. It is just a multiversal road trip with the people who vexed you greatly but are slightly grown up now.

Bonus scene includes Jason’s gleeful face when he realizes he understands what all of those words Donna keeps muttering under her breath mean because Artemis was a bro and taught him Themysciran Greek.

[thedreadvampy]

Just listened back to a drunk voice note I sent Kofi on Saturday and holy shit you guys nobody told me how bad I lisp when I'm drunk

Literally most of the time the remnants of my childhood lisp are like. a slight softness/buzz on sibilant sounds. In this message it's a full on eth. "That thoundth nithe." there's even like. emphasis on the eth. I sound like a cartoon character. Don't get me wrong it's adorable. wild though. I literally didn't even notice when I was recording it that I was stumbling on the sibilances.

All I can thay is I'm thoooooo lucky that I'm the twin they gave a name containing an eth, not the twin they gave a name beginning with S. "Ruth" is a blessing to a child with a pronounced lisp. "Lisp", by the way, is not.

[graysongraysoff]

the angel on my shoulder telling me to use the credit reward i just got from my travel credit card to go home for mother's day vs the devil on my shoulder telling me to squirrel it away and put it toward something for myself

[oifaaa]

I think it’s because Robin was the first one and because he has no superpowers. (But then why not any of the arrowfam?)

People have also suggested it's bc of his popularity, how young he was when he first appeared and that whole Robins there to draw fire stuff but still it feels weird to me to just focus on Robin and batman in this conversation especially when I've seen people in the past really focus on how Bruce is such a bad dad bc he let's kids fight crime like okay but so does ollie, and even if kids do have powers it's still very dangerous so are we gonna talk about Clark, diana, wally, Barry and Arthur they've all let children / young teens fight crime are they worse people for it??

[kkujo]

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