#i started it as post time skip but then i realized i wanted the blanket fort in the going merry

[astrll-art]

warm times

this took 100 hours. please do not repost!

[changbinsboiledegg]

Hi!! I love your writing and I was wondering if you could do skz reactions to another member walking in on them and their gf doing the dirty? 😅

lmao sure anon. Digital footprint go brrr (thank you for the request ily 🫶)

Fem! Reader X SKZ. MDNI. MDNI. MDNI.

Warnings: Smut, ofc. Kinda explicit?, Unprotected or protected seggs, I didn't specify, swearing, implied vaginal, edging, cum mentions???, Overstimulation, teasing. Am I forgetting any?

Note: I'm not very good with smut BUT this is just a reaction post. I can do better probably. Also, I included some humorous shit because I got nervous. lol. Hope y'all enjoy :)

MDNI!!! Also if smut makes you uncomfy, pls skip (obviously).

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

Chan

“What’s wrong? Can’t handle it anymore, baby girl?” Chan teased, pinning you down against the bed as he snapped his hips into yours, eliciting a loud moan that became muffled when he moved a hand over your mouth.

You were almost on the ledge of release and he as well.

You almost didn’t notice the door opening in the midst of all of the pleasure between you two.

“Oh my god!”

You and Chan both ceased any form of intimacy and quickly scrambled to cover yourselves as Jeongin covered his eyes and turned around.

“Jesus, Jeongin! What do you want?!” Chan sounded frustrated at being interrupted.

“I heard a cry, I thought something was wrong!” Jeongin’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

Chan glanced at you, then back at Jeongin.

“Please, just… get out for a while…”

With that, Jeongin left without a second prompt.

Lee Know

Minho was teasing the entire time as you begged for him to just insert himself inside of you.

And he did. Slowly guiding himself into your wetness, thrusting once, and then pulling out. You whined, beginning to get frustrated. Minho smirked at this, rubbing the tip against your aching clit.

“Fucking hell! Just please—“

“Hey, Minho! Do you still have my—“ Jisung stopped, immediately going wide eyed and dropping his phone.

“I’m so sorry! I just— I didn’t see anything! Promise!” Jisung frantically apologized, leaving the room.

You exchanged an embarrassed glance with Minho, frozen in place before Jisung came in again, his hand over his eyes as he fumbled for his phone.

“Saw nothing! Just getting my phone!”

Changbin

You already came— twice. But Changbin had no mercy. He loved seeing you cum.

And he wanted to make you cum again.

“You can do it. I know you can.” Changbin gently spread your clenched thighs open again as they shook from your previous orgasm.

“Fuck, Changbin—“ You squirmed, gripping the bed sheets as he positioned himself over your entrance.

“Say the safe word and I will stop.” Changbin cooed, waiting for a response.

However, you didn’t say anything. You wanted to cum again. Right as he slid himself inside of you again, the door swung open.

“Oh.” It took Seungmin a few seconds to process what was going on. Seeing you quivering was enough to make him instantly leave the room, forgetting to shut the door in his embarrassment.

You looked at Changbin and said the safe word.

Hyunjin

Hyunjin was gentle every step of the way from the moment you started. He made sure not to grip your hips too tight or thrust too fast or hard unless you asked.

But you hadn’t asked, wanting it to be just as special as he did.

“You’re so pretty like this.” Hyunjin breathlessly complimented you, meaning every word he said. You stifled back a moan, knowing you needed to be quiet during this, especially since the other members were still there, lingering.

You squeezed your eyes shut, on the brink of orgasm but it was delayed and stopped when Hyunjin frantically got off and covered both of you up.

You almost took the blanket off before realizing Felix was standing in the doorway, hand covering his mouth.

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, a bit irritated.

“You act like you’ve never seen two people have—“

“I’m leaving! I am leaving!” Felix cut him off, shutting the door behind him but accidentally slamming it in the process.

“Sorry!” His faint voice called back through the door.

Han

It was your first time with him, although it was a little awkward at first, the more you explored each others bodies, the more comfortable you got with each other.

“I love you.” Jisung whispered in your ear, guiding your hips as you rode him on the edge of the bed. You bit your lip to muffle the moans that left your mouth, feeling your legs shaking the longer you rode.

“I love you too.” You managed to gasp out. Jisung smiled breathlessly before pressing his lips against your neck, softly sucking on the skin between his lips.

You quietly whimpered and gasped, feeling yourself letting go.

“Seriously? Now? Come on!” Minho’s voice halted you to a stop as you widened your eyes, not wanting to look back at him.

“Privacy please!” Jisung stammered out, grabbing a pillow and attempted to cover your backside with it. Minho was already on his way out, pausing at the door.

“You better be using protection!” Then he left. You and Jisung were horrified for a few seconds before laughing off the embarrassment.

Felix

“I am all yours tonight.” Felix leaned back, watching you as you undressed yourself. You walked over to him, straddling him with a smirk.

“And I, am all yours.” You gently pushed him to where he was flat on his back. You leaned down to kiss him, slow at first, then each kiss after progressively became more and more desperate as you helped him undress as well.

“Ready?”

“Yes.” Felix mumbled, taking in a deep breath, wanting nothing more than to see you be the one to take control. You kissed his jaw and down to his neck as he worked his fingers around the clasp of your bra.

You helped him, momentarily pausing and tossing it to the floor beside the bed. Felix’ hands roamed your body, grasping and rubbing any part he could reach before rolling you on your back and spreading your legs apart.

You turned your head, seeing Hyunjin walking in. He didn’t seem to notice you and Felix until his eyes landed on your bra.

“Hyunjin?” You muttered, feeling the panic set in. Felix didn’t see him yet, being more focused on you.

“Hyunjin? What does he—”

Hyunjin gasped loudly and quickly rushed outside of the room, causing Felix’ head to snap in his direction.

“Oh my god!”

Seungmin

His hands roamed your chest, trailing down to your stomach and stopping on your thighs, rubbing his hands against them as his lips were pressed to your neck. Seungmin’s hands inched up towards the top of your thighs before maneuvering a hand between your legs, feeling the damp cloth.

“Already?” Seungmin teased, his breath was warm against your neck as you softly moaned, slightly bucking your hips against his hand.

Seungmin pulled his face back, glancing down, then into your eyes. “Wet and needy. Patience is a virtue, you know.”

You whined, throwing your head back. “I am needy! I need you now!”

You didn’t say anything in specific, but he knew what you meant. Seungmin smirked, pulling the cloth down your thighs, taking them off and exposing to him just how wet you were.

On instinct, you parted your legs and leaned back on your elbows as Seungmin placed his hand back where it was, only this time there wasn’t a barrier.

“More?”

“Seung—”

A scream erupted, coming from the doorway where a shocked Changbin stood. His scream was so loud that you scream as well, startled as you closed your legs together. Seungmin got up to block you, still dressed, unlike you.

“Changbin, what the hell?”

Changbin quickly turned around, mumbling to himself as he shut the door behind him.

I.N

Jeongin hovered over you, both of you still dressed, but just as needy for each other as you made out on the couch. Your lips messily clashed with his as his hand made it’s way up your shirt and towards your the hem of your bra.

Your hand moved down his chest and stopping on his stomach while your other hand gripped the back of his shoulder. He began to grind his hips against yours when you wrapped your legs around his waist.

The other members were outside and weren’t expected to be back inside for another hour. Jeongin wasn’t particularly worried about getting caught as long as he— and you, were quiet and quick.

You lifted his shirt to remove it. Jeongin removed his lips from yours momentarily and sat up, helping you remove it. He then did the same to you, removing your shirt and leaving you in your bra.

Right as he was about to press his lips against yours again, the sound of collective chattering interrupted you both and soon the whole group entered. No one was prepared for what they just saw.

You and Jeongin scrambled for your shirts, slipping them back on.

“Oh my god! That’s what the rooms are for!” Chan’s eyes were glued to the floor. In fact, none of the other members were actually looking at you and Jeongin.

They were as flushed as you were, only slightly less.

“On the couch too?” Minho sighed as Jeongin ran to his room, pulling you with him.

Before the door closed, you heard Hyunjin say, “Guess we have to get the couch cleaned again.”

Note 2: Does nobody know how to lock a door???? be so fucking fr now. LMAO

[malfoyswand]

𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬

pairing: draco malfoy x reader

summary: draco malfoy comforts you about your biggest insecurity.

word count: 1.5k

genre: fluff

warnings: bullying, insecurities, one instance of swearing, a little bit of nudity (but nothing sexual)

author's note: honestly writing this was like free therapy to me. i plan to write and post a part two to this (featuring smut, everybody cheer) in a couple of days too!

➪ masterlist | requests

You couldn't help but let a sigh escape from your lips as you heard the sound of knocking on your door. Truthfully, if you could have it your way, you would be content with not seeing another human being for the rest of the day.

"Can you come back later? I'm trying to sleep." You called out from your bed, pulling your blankets over your head to block out the knocking. Sleep was far from your mind, you only wished to be alone with your sorrow.

The knocking ceased. Just as you thought whoever it was had walked away, you heard the door creak open anyway. It was probably one of your roommates, you hoped they would leave soon enough. 

You felt someone lift up the blankets slightly and lay down next to you in the bed. Turning your head slightly, you saw it was Draco Malfoy. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw him, but the pain in his eyes saddened you further.

"We both know you're not going to sleep yet, (Y/N)." Draco spoke softly, one of his arms wrapping itself around your shoulders. "Now, please tell me what happened out there."

The last thing you wanted to do was talk about that, but you knew your boyfriend deserved some sort of explanation for your sudden behavior. 

The last Saturday of May was always spent with Draco and his group of friends. It was tradition at this point to spend the whole day at the Black Lake, swimming and getting into all sorts of mischief. However, this year was slightly different. Draco Malfoy had finally asked you to be his girlfriend a few months prior.

While it seemed as if everyone else in the group was ecstatic, Pansy Parkinson was not. You had known for a long time that she had developed a crush on Draco, and wasn't too pleased when Draco had turned her down. Ever since, the tension between the girl who used to be your best friend and yourself has been difficult for you to manage. 

Pansy had finally snapped at the Black Lake and told you how she had felt. While you were watching the Slytherin boys play some sort of game near the water, Pansy sat next to you. The conversation started off pleasant, but it quickly turned brutal.

It started off with Pansy complimenting your navy blue bikini, but in the same breath, she mentioned that "it's brave of you to wear something that revealing, considering your marks and all." Her hands touched the stretch marks on your stomach and thighs, giving them a pinch. You felt your breath become trapped in your throat, she knew they were your biggest insecurity. 

Before you could even think, you found yourself running away from the lake, not even noticing Draco was following your footsteps. 

As you told this story to him, you could see him clench his jaw in anger. "That bitch. Does she not realize what she did was cruel? I'm going to have a talk with her tomorrow, and if she continues, let me know. I will fix this, she can’t talk to you like this and get away with it."

"Draco, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to run off like that. Just give me a minute, I'll come back-" Before you could finish the offer, you felt his lips press softly against yours. He pulled away all too soon, resting his forehead on yours. 

"Oh hush, darling. They'll be alright without us, we're staying right here." To further his point, he pulled you into his arms. There was no other place you would rather be trapped. Only then did you realize he was still in his swim trunks, with no shirt. "I need to make sure that you know you are beautiful."

"I-I'm not." It came out as a quiet, defeated whisper as you felt the sobs begin again. Your insecurities were something you never shared with your boyfriend before, you didn't want to burden him any further. 

"Oh.." Draco slightly panicked, not sure exactly what to do. He had never seen you cry before. "No, no. Please don't say that. Pansy couldn't have been more wrong, you look like an angel. Why would you think any different?"

It was hard to speak, between your cries and your voice being muffled from Draco pulling you closer to him. He wiped away each tear that fell, listening intently as you spoke. 

"Because of what she said. I mean, she was right. I have stretch marks all over me, and the bikini only just shows them even more. I don't know what I was thinking! They make me so ugly and it's embarrassing, when no other girl there had them."

One of his hands moved your chin upwards, forcing your eyes to meet his gray ones. "Stop it right there, (Y/N). You are not ugly, and who cares about some marks? You are absolutely perfect in my eyes."

He must have been able to tell that a part of you didn't believe him. You knew he loved you and would never lie to you, he truly did think you were beautiful. But you couldn't bring yourself to think of yourself in that way.

You felt him shift next to you as he sat up, moving the blankets away so he could see you fully. You were still in that cursed bikini, biting your lip as you realized he could now see you in broad daylight. "Draco, what are you doing?"

"Well if you won't believe my words, maybe you'll believe my actions." A small smile spread on his face as his hands gently found themselves roaming down your body, his eyes soaking in every piece of exposed skin he could. You were about to protest to explain that you weren't in the mood for anything his mind might come up with.

"Before you ask, no, I'm not trying to initiate anything else. Would it be okay if I touched your stomach?" It was as if he could read your mind. You were terrified that if Draco touched your stomach and felt the marks that had invaded your skin, he would become disgusted. But at the same time, his touch was comforting. It was something you knew could calm you down. 

With a nod, he grinned and lowered himself down until his eyes were level with your stomach. His fingertips gently caressed down until they reached your lower abdomen. "Merlin, you're beautiful. You belong in a museum of art, my love."

His words made you blush bright red, as your hands covered your face to hide this fact. "Hardly." That was all you could manage to choke out between your embarrassment and the sobs that still begged to break free from your chest.

"Please, look at me." You obeyed, placing your hands at your side once more and looking down to look at Draco. "I'm not kidding around, you are stunning. If anything, these marks make you even more so."

You felt his fingertips gently graze upon each stretch mark, your breath hitching as he did so. His lips replaced them in an instant, as he kissed each mark he could find. Eventually, the path of marks led him to pulling down your bikini bottom very slightly to only kiss the ones on your hips. 

You knew he could feel every slight bump on his lips, the thought of it filled you with shame. His kisses were feather-like, it was as if he was afraid that if he kissed your skin too hard, you would break underneath him. But as you looked at him, he didn't seem to mind.

If anything, Draco Malfoy seemed to adore it. He kept his eyes mostly on yours, but occasionally, he would look down at the stretch marks before him. His kisses were slow, as if he was trying to take his time in memorizing every curve of each mark. His hands gently rubbed the curves of your waist, smiling to himself as he felt your body relax at his touch.

Once he was finally done kissing each mark he could find, you couldn't help but smile at the look of achievement on his face. His eyes seemed to have a glimmer to them, as if he had just won a prize.

"Actually, I take back my statement from before. You're not just something to be put in a museum for people to look at, until they get bored and move along. You deserve something much more permanent, like a sculpture to last the ages."

"What?" A look of confusion spread across your face. What was Malfoy going on about, comparing you to pieces that belonged in some sort of art collection?

"What I mean is," a soft laugh came from Draco's lips as he laid down next to you again, his fingers caressing your jawline this time around. "You should be worshiped, darling. Please never repeat the words you said earlier. Those marks are breathtaking, I could spend eternity kissing them.”

You could feel the tears form in the corner of your eyes, but from joy instead of sorrow. Draco was puzzled, worried that his words may have hurt you unintentionally. You learned your head into the crook of his neck, feeling his hands caress your back. 

“I thought you would hate them, you know?” You managed to whisper into his shirt. He responded by shushing you, his fingertips finding their way through your hair.

“I could never, (Y/N). I’ve never seen anything, or anyone, more beautiful.”

[creedslove]

I know request are close but maybe this could be a headcon where you and Joel are married have Sarah but then the apocalypse happens some years later while Joel is in Jackson with Ellie Tommy and the town the reader gets rescued and finally reunite with Joel and what his reaction would be

You can 1000000% choose if it’s an imagine or a headcon or if you want to do it my mind Is currently on joel miller and yeha

Post outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

A/N: I hope you enjoy it anon ❤️

• Joel thought he'd lost everything the night the outbreak happened, he lost his daughter, she died in his arms and he never thought he would have to bury his beautiful daughter in some unidentified shallow grave

• he knew he had died that night with her, something inside was simply gone, his heart had gone cold and though he still had you, he knew he would never recover

• but you also went missing, you never made it home after the outbreak started, you three had plans of celebrating his birthday after your work shift ended but with the whole chaos, you never made it home

• in the first few months Joel went after you, FEDRA station after station, trying to look for you, see if you were hurt or if you were taking one of the volunteering jobs but he could never find you

• so he just assumed you'd died and focused the next years of his life in surviving even if he wasn't sure it was worth surviving in this world

• Joel was almost used to his life in Jackson, it was still odd for him to be able to sleep at night, without worrying about finding food and having enough blankets in winter

• but he never recovered from the loss of his family even if it happened all those years ago, he was still broken and lonely, deeply wounded from not having you and his daughter

• the gates of Jackson opened for another group of patrol bringing a group of rescued people, it wasn't often that it happened, but when it did, Joel didn't care about it very much, he just didn't want to meet new people and he always had the impression of seeing a known face, only to realize it was just a trick of his mind

• so the moment the group of people arrived in the city, Joel just turned his back and began walking away at the same time you scanned the place, always in hopes of seeing your husband and your beautiful daughter once more, also convinced they were dead

• but your heart never lost hope and the moment you spotted the broad shoulders, the curls you had ran your fingers through it gently so many times, now looking a little grayer but still the same man you came to love with so much intensity

• you screamed his name as loud as you could, drawing attention from everyone around but you didn't care at all, all you wanted was to see if it was him

• and when Joel turned around, his heart skipped a beat, not believing his ears at first but he did recognize you voice and rushed to you, his heart felt like it was about to explode the moment he saw you

• you were looking older just like he was, you were skinny and he could tell you had a few scars here and there, but you had survived

• he rushed to you, wrapping his arms around your body, pulling you closer and falling onto his knees, he couldn't believe you were in his arms after so long

• he held you, kissing your lips, at the same time tears ran down his cheeks, after so long, you were back to being his again

____

[clxja16]

Does He Know?

Charles Leclerc x Reader

Genre: forbidden relationship

Warnings: suggestive content, swearing, angst

Word Count: 865

Author's Note: I seen a TikTok and then I thought of this. I realize that everything I posted so far deals with the Leclercs and that's not on purpose. I told myself that the next time I write anything for this blog its gonna be someone else, but then I saw this TikTok with Arthur and Charles so ofc it had to be Arthur and Charles for this. Also I don't condone cheating in any sense, unless you're cheating on a groomer or something, but that's a conversation for another time. one more thing, idk if this is getting a part two yet, lmk what you guys think lol

post about part 2

-----------------------

‘Oh shit’ were the first words in your mind, when you felt the morning sun on your face.  Your head ached with last night's decisions.  You pulled the blanket closer to you realizing that somewhere between the club last night and your bed this morning you lost your dress.  You opened your eyes finally looking around to notice the dark blanket that didn’t match your nice cream ones.  You noticed the walls lined with racing posters that didn’t match your art filled walls.  You turned over in the bed to notice the man laying there that wasn’t your boyfriend.  

“Shit,” you cursed aloud as you shot up in bed.  

The man that laid next to you turned over, “Charlotte why are you yelling?” he asked with a mumble.  

“Um…” you were at a complete loss for words, you don’t even remember drinking that much, “i’m not Charlotte.” you said softly, hopeful not to startle the man next to you.  

He shot up next to you, finally sitting up and looking at you, “you’re not my girlfriend,” he said as the color drained from his face.  

“You’re not my boyfriend,” you said, hopeful that he was trying to catch your hint.  

“This didn’t happen,” you both said at the same time.  You thanked the heavens above that he caught on to what you were trying to say.  You made quick work of finding your dress, and getting a cab to get the hell out of his apartment.  You and him skipped over the pleasantries, not wanting to know each other's names or anything that happened last night.  He didn’t even walk you out the door, not that you really wanted him to.  

You were just grateful that he let you go without any argument.  As soon as you got back to your place, you threw that wretched dress into the trash and jumped into the shower. When you were done with your shower, scrubbing off all the remnants of the other man you called your boyfriend, Arthur.  

-

Arthur wasted no time in getting over to your place, when you opened the door to see him standing there you thought that maybe you shouldn’t tell him.  He didn’t need to know, who would tell him?  You were sure all your friends would cover for you, you didn’t know the guy that you slept with, maybe you could just keep this to yourself.  

“I made a mistake,” the words tumbled out of you before you could catch them.  Arthur stood in front of you so happily that you couldn’t further break his heart by keeping this from him to find out later on.  

“Mistake?” Arthur took a step back from you, “what kind of mistake?” 

“I think…” you felt tears welled in your eyes, this was gonna be the end to a relationship that hasn’t even started yet, “I slept with someone last night.” 

“I see,” Arthur said, looking down as if he were in deep thought.  You stood there in silence for a minute.  Then two minutes, then ten minutes, then fifteen minutes.  “Arthur, say something please.”  

“What do you want me to say?” Arthur scoffed, “I want to be angry, I am angry but I don’t know if I have a right to.  I have never asked you to be my girlfriend yet.” 

“Be angry, you have a right to be angry.  Even if I’m not your girlfriend, there was an unsaid agreement that we were committed to each other.  Be angry, just don’t leave.” You said, as you held onto Arthur's hands.  

“I don’t want to leave,” Arthur said, finally looking at you.  

“I don’t want you to leave either.” You said, as you took a step closer to Arthur, hoping to close some of the space between the both of you.  

“I am still very angry with you though,” Arthur said, “but I don’t want to lose you just yet.” 

“I don’t want to lose you Arthur, last night was a terrible mistake, something that I would never do.  When I woke up this morning, the first person I thought of was you.  I rushed home to see you.  I wanted to tell you before anything else.”  

“I am gonna put this behind us because I want to be with you,” Arthur said, closing the gap between the two of you.  You nodded your head, hanging onto every word that passed his lips, “but from this day forward you’re mine.  You belong to me, and only me.”  

That day was over three months ago now.  The past three months you have been happy, loved, overjoyed with Arthur.  You didn’t even dare to look at another man.  You and Arthur moved past it and never brought it up again.  You didn’t even think about it again.  Until now, when Arthur wanted you to meet his family.  You were sitting across the table from the man you had a one night stand that almost ended your relationship before it happened, Charles Leclerc.  And all the memories from that night, everything you thought you were too drunk to remember came rushing back to you.  Based on how Charles looked at you, you would say he remembered too. 

part II

[luckbealincoln]

Best Kept Secret

chapter two : silent treatment

THIS SERIES HAS BEEN MOVED AND RE-UPLOADED TO ANOTHER ACCOUNT. WHICH CAN BE FOUND HERE. THIS POST STILL EXISTS AS AN ARCHIVE BUT THIS ACCOUNT IS NO LONGER ACTIVE!!

pairing : bodyguard!Din Djarin x afab!princess!reader

rating : 18+ mdni

word count : 7.4k

summary : you decide to give your bodyguard the silent treatment after a disagreement

warnings, etc. : language, sexual fantasy

Something is wrong. You bolt up from the pile of blankets that you call a bed and your eyes dart around the closet as you furrow your brow trying to discern why you feel so much different. As you stand and exit the closet, tugging on a rope that you know alerts Elaine and Lysa you realize what it is.

You’re excited. 

Everyday has been a slog since your arrival, just another day of aimlessly walking around and sitting mindlessly in the library but today you actually had an agenda. Even if you were to be accompanied by the abhorrent Mandalorian. You had only ever read about gardens, you obviously couldn't have one back on Hoth but you had always wanted to see one, if not have your own. But this was your home now, which made that your garden. You had a garden and today you were going to get to see it. And so, for the first time you summon Elaine and Lysa, instead of allowing them to arrive naturally as they always did. You stand at the mirror, eager to get dressed as the girls rush in, you can tell by the way that they stare at you that they don’t fully understand what's happening as they try to keep the surprise off their faces. Elaine speaks first as Lysa rushes off to the closet to find something for you to wear today.

“Good morning ma’am… you’re up rather early?” The way her voice pitches up makes it come off as a question but you just nod as you begin to undress, watching in the mirror as Lysa brings out a blue gown and you quickly turn around.

“No.” Both girls stare at you with wide eyes and then look at each other as you speak. “I want to wear something else, I’m sick of blue.” Lysa nervously rushes back into the closet but you can see a smile forming on Elaine's face. 

“Seems like someone has finally found their voice.” As Elaine speaks she dresses you in your undergarments. 

“One can only wear blue so many days in a row.” You brush a strand of hair behind your ear as you can see Elaine walking out holding a pale yellow dress in the reflection of the mirror, holding it up for approval. “That will do nicely.” That seems to relax her a bit as they begin to slip it on to you, lacing the back of it up tightly before sitting you down to do your hair and makeup but you gently wave their hands away. 

“Ma’am? Is everything okay?” Elaine says as she holds her hands up, waiting to see what will happen next but Lysa takes a step back as she drops her hands as if she’s been burned and you quickly turn to reassure her. 

“Everything is perfect, I didn’t mean to startle you, I just… I want to do it myself today. You two can have the rest of the morning off… thank you.” You turn back to stare at yourself in the mirror, the reflection actually looks familiar with your hair down like this, the lurid makeup they usually do you up in absent. 

“Ma’am this is rather unorthodox…” Elaine says but she can’t seem to shake the smile from her face. “But if you insist.”

“I do. Insist.” Your lips are also curling into a grin that you’re desperately fighting off as you look at Elaine in the reflection of the mirror, meeting her gaze. “Take the rest of the morning off, I’ll see you in the evening.” Both girls nod as they take their leave, Lysa finds green slippers and puts them on you before darting out of the room. You start to run a brush through your hair and you shout one last thing over to them before the door closes. “Oh! And please inform Leo that I’ll be skipping breakfast, I have other matters to attend to.” Elaine turns to cock an eyebrow at you but nods as she closes the door. 

You don’t bother holding back the grin now as you comb your hair, wanting to leave it down but you’re not sure if that’s proper for royalty so you decide against it, pinning it up loosely and donning a thin band of a tiara to hold it all in place. Now comes an issue you had not accounted for. Do you put on makeup? The girls always put makeup on you, especially on nights where you have dinner with the prince but now that it’s a choice you wonder if it would be weird. It’s not like you’d be dolling yourself up for the Mandalorian, but he really is the only person you see all day, other than Leo, who you only saw when you needed something. 

Well this was starting to ruin your good mood. Would it be weird if you didn’t wear makeup? It might be since up until today every time he’s seen you you’ve been wearing a mountain of it. Maker, what if he doesn’t even recognize you. No, that's stupid of course he’ll recognize you, he spends everyday with you. You can put on makeup, it isn’t weird. You’d just be putting it on for yourself, not him, it isn’t weird to want to look nice for yourself. But he’s a prick. An observant prick. What if he says something about it? That’s stupid why would he say something, you always wear makeup, it would be odd if you didn’t wear it. What if he’s already out there? What if he saw Elaine and Lysa leave? Would he assume you did your makeup yourself? Shit, why hadn’t you asked if he was waiting? Since when do you care what he thinks? When did this fucker get in your head like this? They’ve done your makeup rather garishly every day you’ve spent with the Mandalorian, so you decide to do it, just something simple, not the typical caked on look they give you, just something around your eyes to make them pop. You settle on green, subtle green eyeliner. 

You look ridiculous. He’s going to laugh at you.

You don’t care what he thinks, yet you find yourself reaching into the vanity to find a cloth to wipe the makeup from your face, maybe you should just tell him you don’t feel well and you want to stay in your room today. Gods when did he get in your head like this, one stupid little conversation and suddenly you couldn’t escape him, that stupid, arrogant, cocky, pompous, conceited, ill-mannered, son of a-

“Why are you taking so long?” You drop the cloth before you can clean your face as you catch a glint of silver in the mirror. 

“What is wrong with you!?” You clutch your chest as you turn around to scowl at the Mandalorian. “If you don’t stop scaring me I’m going to put bells on you.” He leans back against your bedpost and crosses his arms.

“Your ladies-in-waiting. They left half an hour ago and you didn’t come out, I thought you might be in danger.” He shrugs as if that justifies him sneaking into your room. Had you really been sitting here that long?

“Why didn’t you knock? For Makers sake, I could have been changing.” You squint at him angrily as you stand, facing him as you match his stance. Something tells you that the way you do it is less intimidating. 

“If I knocked I would have alerted any potential intruders.” 

“You’ve been outside the door this entire time and we’re on the fourth floor.” He shrugs again.

“I couldn’t take that chance. Now are you ready or not?” He stands up straighter and gestures towards the door. 

“Yes. These gardens better be worth it, I have high expectations.” You frowned as you made a beeline for the door, you could feel him following close on your heels. Once in the hall he once again stood beside you, not behind you, you bit back a smile. He takes a slight lead and you follow him through  the maze of halls. 

You want to talk. Now that you’ve had a taste of any sort of companionship you’re ravenous for it. Even if it is with someone as impolite as him, so you keep it light. 

“So… where are the gardens located?” 

“If I tell you, are you going to try and run off without me?” 

“If I tried you would be right behind me anyways so what would be the point?” You grin in earnest as you hear him exhale sharply through his nose. 

“You know about the forest that surrounds the castle?” 

“Yes I know that the castle that I live in is surrounded by trees.” You know he doesn’t see it but you roll your eyes anyway. 

“Forgive me, princess.” Your heart skips a beat, he actually sounds sort of sweet… “You got lost trying to find the fresher three days ago, so forgive me if I assume you know nothing about the grounds.” And there it is. 

“Do you spend all your free time coming up with snarky remarks? Is that what you do when you aren’t actively stalking me?” That gets a scoff from him.

“It isn’t stalking if it’s my job.I swore to keep you from harm and my word is very dear to me.” 

“You’re avoiding the question.” 

“Have you considered that I’m just smarter than you? That I just have a quicker wit?” Gods, you want to rip out the stupid modulator that he speaks through. It has to be altering his voice, no one's voice is always that low and steady. You feel as if the baritone of it soaks through your skin into your bones. 

“Impossible. The only explanation is that you must be dedicating several hours a day to forming new creative insults for me.” You let your fingertips trace the stone bricks as the two of you descend a staircase. He shakes his head no.

“I don’t have the kind of free time for that. You’re a full time job, sarad'ika.” 

Dead stop.

“What the hell did you just call me?” 

He doesn’t respond, actually it looks like he’s freezing up. He better not be laughing under that tin can with his modulator silenced again.

“You can’t just start slandering me in other languages, Mando.” You can’t keep the smile off your face as you reach forward to gently brush your hand against the Beskar pauldron closest to you. You mean it as nothing more than a comforting gesture but he instantaneously recoils from it, you’re surprised he even felt it through the steel and fabric but he takes a sudden step back and doesn’t mute his modulator fast enough for you to miss the beginning of a sharp inhale. There’s a beat of silence where you can feel your heart racing, why did it always get so hot in this stupid castle at the most inconvenient times. 

“My apologies, princess.” He straightens up and starts descending the stairs again, much more rigid than before. 

“Oh come on you can’t just do that.” You have to hike up your skirt to keep up with him now.

“Do what?” His stride doesn’t waver. You have to take two steps at a time to match his pace. 

“Say something and not tell me what it means!” 

“Drop it, princess.” Gods, you hate the way he says it. He makes it so easy to forget that it’s a label, not an endearment. You can’t stop the words that fall from your lips on instinct. 

“Don’t call me that.” 

He turns sharply, doing a swift 180, and you slam into his chest plate but manage to keep your footing. You’re higher on the stairs then him, making you face to face now. Well, face to helmet. 

“You are a princess, princess. I will refer to you as your title, nothing else. There is nothing else that I should be calling you.”

He called you sarad'ika. 

You scowl at him and you’re sure he’s scowling back at you. You’re not sure how long you stand like that, two statues on the staircase until finally you make the first move, brushing past him as you continue down the stairs until you reach a door, you wish you had paid more attention to where he was taking you because you’re caught off guard by the immediate exit from the stone walls of the keep. You hadn’t stepped foot outside the castle walls since you had first entered them.

It took you a second to adjust to the light as you held your hand up to shield your eyes. Once you've finally settled you take another step before you have to cover your eyes again. “Maker!” You take a step back as you squeeze your eyes shut tightly. You can feel him grab your shoulder gently.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Genuine concern. You’re taken aback by it, he’s never sounded anything but sarcastic and stoic up until just now. You open your eyes to stare into the thin black line in the Beskar. His hand jostles you slightly and you suddenly remember to breathe. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?” You can physically feel the worry coming off of him, both of his hands gripping your shoulders now. 

“I just- I’m okay… it’s just- the- the reflection…” You say it softly and feel his hand drop and he lets out a sigh. “The sun on your armor just caught me off guard…” He turns around and starts walking again and you can’t stop the laugh that bursts out of you, making him stop dead in his tracks. 

“It’s not funny.” His tone has returned to its cold stoic nature but you can’t stop laughing.

“Oh come on…” You make your way over to him, still trembling with laughter. “You’re so sparkly, it caught me off guard.”

“I was seriously worried about you. You do understand that my entire job is to keep you safe right?” He takes long strides and once again you can barely keep up as you follow him to a trail at the edge of the forest that surrounds the keep. You take deep breaths, trying desperately to stop the laughter as you grab his arm. He tenses the moment you make contact with him but at least he doesn’t draw back this time. He won’t look at you, his helmet turned slightly to the right. 

“Hey, I’m sorry.” You mean it but you can’t fight the smile on your face as you hold the fabric between his pauldron and his bracer. “It’s kind of nice, you know, to know you are capable of human emotions.” You don’t realize that your thumb is rubbing small comforting circles into his sleeve, your gaze softening. “I was starting to think you were just a very sarcastic droid.” That makes him look at you.

“I am not a droid.” 

Yikes. Tough crowd.

He says it with such sternness that you don’t follow it up with a joke, you drop your hand from his arm and just stare into the visor. 

You bring your hand up to comfort him again.

“Hey I’m sor-”

“Don’t” There’s that word again, only this time he’s so harsh with it. You take a step back. 

“Well I hardly think this is fair.”

“Excuse me?” He tilts the helmet slightly at you, the annoyance in his voice is still palpable. 

“We have had two conversations since the day I met you and you spent most of those conversations making fun of me and suddenly you get all stiff and upset just because I made one joke at your expense, a joke that might I add wasn’t even all that mean, and you get all short with me? That’s not fair.” He doesn’t speak, you can feel the sharpness of his gaze even through the visor. 

But he doesn’t have a retort, he just scoffs. 

Kriff. 

You had to say something, because now you’re both just standing here on this trail in utter silence. Come on, think, you can’t let one awkward moment ruin this. You can’t have things be weird between you and the only person who will talk to you in this entire fucking castle. Gods, you can’t stand him but he’s company. So, you say the first thing that comes to mind, like an idiot. 

“What’s your favorite color?” 

“What?” His voice is still tinged with the remains of his anger.

Well now he’s just being unkind for no reason, you apologized, or at least tried to before he so rudely interrupted you. Or maybe you should have chosen a less stupid question but it was too late to be thinking thoughts like that. 

“You know what, nevermind. Go back to the castle, I’ll find the garden myself.” You shove past him, marching down the trail through the trees. Where was this coming from? Why has he suddenly out of nowhere gotten so cold? Whatever, he can go sulk somewhere else. You just wanted to see the gardens and you’re not going to let him ruin your entire day before it’s even started. You can hear him groan as he starts to follow. Of course he isn’t going to listen to you, you turn on your heel to face him. “Stop it.”

“You know I can’t.” Of course he doesn’t sound apologetic, but at least he doesn't sound angry anymore.

“I am ordering you to stop.”

“You don’t have the auth-”

“I don’t care. I don’t care if I do not have the authority to tell you to stop, you will stop, go back to the castle. Now, Mando.” You know he won’t but you’re getting desperate, you don’t care because at this point if you have to feel alone, you want to actually be alone. 

“No.” 

There it is. You knew that you weren’t friends, afterall how could you be, you don’t know each other in the slightest. But a small part of you thought that maybe he respected you, at least respected you enough to not treat you like everyone else does. Like they’re afraid of you, or like you are nothing more than an extension of your husband. Yet here he is acting on your husband's authority, with no one around, just the two of you. In your loneliness you had briefly let yourself get sucked into a reality where the Mandalorian was someone who you could talk to, even if it was only to argue, arguing was so much better then the nothingness that was consuming your bland life, the little feud that the two of you had built up through what short conversations you had managed was all you had. But of course he had to go and ruin it, you hadn’t wanted a friend, you had just wanted someone to talk to. 

You hate him. For getting your hopes up. You hate your husband. For marrying you in the first place. You just want to go home, real home, Hoth, not this unfamiliar stupidly hot planet. It’s all starting to crash down on you. You haven’t cried since the day you found out you were arranged to be married but out of nowhere it was starting to hit you like a ton of bricks. Your eyes shot daggers at the Mandalorian. You wanted to scream at him, you wanted to stomp your foot and throw a tantrum because in an instant he had ruined what had the potential to be your first good day in weeks, and he had done it within the first 30 minutes of being in your presence. But why give him the satisfaction? Especially if he was only doing all this to be cruel. You had done nothing wrong after all, he was the one who had gotten all uppity out of nowhere and for seemingly no reason. 

“Fine.” At least your voice doesn’t crack.

“Fine?” He sounds truly surprised by the lack of explosion after your minutes of brooding. Maybe he was doing this all because he was bored, afterall he was probably just as alone as you were. But you had thought that maybe you were starting to be alone, together. 

“Fine. You are right. I do not have the authority to dismiss you, I would like to return to my chambers.” He takes a step forward. You can’t look at him anymore. 

“Oh come on, you can’t be ser-”

“Don’t.” You hope it hurts. 

Having the word thrown back in his face with as much venom as you can muster, as you once again shove past him and follow the trail until you are out of the forest and making your way back to the castle. He doesn’t try to stop you, he doesn’t even speak. He just returns to the way he’s always been, deadly quiet, and always just out of sight. Just out of reach. Neither of you speaks as you make your way up the several flights of stairs, in your rage you didn’t realize you were lost until it was too late. 

Stupid enormous castle. Stupid maze of halls. Stupid husband who made this stupid place your home. Stupid Mandalorian. 

You know he knows that you’re lost but he doesn’t speak. Finally you just sit against a wall, the Mandalorian a few steps back, watching you.

“Leodall!” You say it loudly in the noiseless hall, your voice bouncing off the walls. 

“Is that really necessary? If you’re lost I can take you back to your room.” His voice is dripping with annoyance at this point and all you do is glare at him until you see a familiar orange figure approaching.

“Yes princess, is everything well?” His brows furrowed as he sees you sitting on the floor, he goes to help you up but you wave him off, standing on your own. 

“It appears I need your help finding my chambers Leo.” You don’t acknowledge the Mandalorian, keeping your eyes trained on Leo. He on the other hand does toss a look at Mando, the confusion on his face is evident but he senses the tension and decides not to ask, leading you to your room. 

Maker, you hadn’t even been on the right floor. 

“Is there anything else I can do for you ma’am?” Leo asks as he steps into your room after you. 

“No Leo, that will be all, thank you.” He nods as he shuts the door, you see the glint of silver as he does. 

You collapse onto the bed, the real bed, not the one that you found so much more comfort in, kicking your shoes off you curl up into yourself and just lay there. The urge to cry has passed, now you just want solitude. 

You try not to wonder if he’s still out there. 

You don’t know how much time passes but eventually Elaine brings you dinner, Lysa is not with her. You don’t know if you’ve ever seen them separated. 

“They said you didn’t go to lunch ma’am, I thought you might be feeling ill.”

“No. Just tired I guess.” 

She doesn’t press further as she sets down the tray. This is why she’s your favorite. As she goes to leave, you sit up. 

“Is he still out there?” You whisper it, you already know the answer. And you also know he’s probably listening. 

“Yes, ma’am.”

That’s all you needed to know, you nod and she dismisses herself.  ✩

You hate him. 

You have nothing better to do now that you refuse to talk to him. So you hate him, that’s your new hobby. You’re on day three of your strike. You let Elaine and Lysa doll you up in blue gowns again and do you up with over the top makeup and you go back to the library. But you don’t pretend to read books anymore. Instead you sit in a reading nook you stumbled upon, it might be your new favorite spot in the entire castle. Even if you spend all of your time there brooding. You sit with your back to the window and you glare at the Mandalorian, all day. 

He just stands there. 

Sometimes the visor faces you, sometimes it doesn’t, sometimes if you stay long enough he’ll even pull up a chair. You just watch him. And think. 

The first day was spent plotting, mostly. You don’t have a good enough grasp on his abilities to attack him head on. You know that his helmet can do a lot but you honestly have no idea anything past the fact that he can silence himself, it gives him advanced hearing capabilities, and you have to assume night vision because of that night where he found you in the library. And of course there was the lingering issue of him being an ex-bounty hunter. 

So no. No attacking head on.

All this scheming made you realize how embarrassingly little you actually know about him. 

You seriously doubt you could sneak up on him. His neck wasn’t armored but it was covered in layers of fabric. It would be embarrassing if you tried to stab him and got tangled up in his cape. And obviously you didn’t want to kill him. You just… well you don’t really know what the goal is now. Honestly you feel a bit silly over this whole thing. You might have overreacted but he had been impolite to say the least, and you had nothing better to do so why not just be mad. 

Maybe you could ask Kodo to dismiss him. You never asked him for anything during your weekly dinners but you were his bride after all, maybe he would do that for you. Unless the Mandalorian was working directly with Kodo… you’d never considered that he might be reporting back to the prince with information about you.

You rule that possibility out. Kodo doesn’t care enough about you to do that. (You also rule out asking for Mando to be dismissed because as much as you despise him, you can’t bring yourself to do that. You desperately wish you could.)

New plan. Get away from him long enough to explore the gardens without him.

How hard could it be to find out where his quarters are located? Maybe you could ask Leo, would he even know? He has to live somewhere in the castle. There’s no way he could live anywhere else, he’s there day and night watching you… 

Does he even have quarters? He wore the same thing every day, at least it looked like he did, he certainly didn’t have a bad smell to him that would indicate he doesn’t change, although you had no idea what he smelled like, you suppose you had never thought about it. Why do you want to know what he smells like all of a sudden? Nevermind. He had to sleep, right? He wasn’t waiting outside your room the night you had snuck out to the library. If you could find out where his room was maybe you could lock him in… or you would just make him angry, he was so tall, and broad, and you couldn’t tell with all the layers but he seemed muscular, strong enough to break down a door certainly. 

You stare at where he’s sitting, he had pulled up a chair an hour ago and placed it across from your nook, both his legs firmly planted on the floor as you two engage in what might be your tenth staring contest of the day. You bet he could rip a door right off its hinges, he’d probably be outraged if you barricaded his door, he’d hunt you down for doing that. Of course he would know it was you, who else would try and lock him in his own chambers? You wonder what he would do if he caught you. Obviously he would catch you, if he had been a bounty hunter he would catch you with ease, he’d probably just go straight to the garden, knowing that’s where you would hide from him. He would probably be so furious with you that he’d probably throw caution to the wind, disregard the fact that you were royalty, disregard the fact that you were married to the prince, and just take you right there. 

Back to the castle.  

Back to your chambers. Take you back to your chambers. 

Gods it’s hot in this library… you took a book off the shelf just to fan yourself. 

Is he sweating under all that metal?

Stop it. 

You decided to plan more tomorrow. The heat was clearly having some sort of effect on your ability to think clearly.

But day two of your silent treatment came and you didn’t feel all that palpable rage anymore, you were just confused now. So you dedicated day two to figuring out what had happened. Why had things fallen apart so quickly?

It had all started when you made that droid comment. 

Or had it?

Now that you were thinking about it he had actually started to pull back when you’d been on the stair. He had called you that name. Kriff. What had it been? You should have written it down. It must have been pretty bad for it to make him so upset. But why would he be upset about something he said? He had said it so naturally, it clearly had just slipped out. You weren’t even sure what language it had been in. You could look, you were in a library after all, but it would be obvious to him what you were doing and you didn’t want to upset him further. 

What else had happened…?

Shit.

You had touched him, it hadn’t been anything more than a brief brush against his armor. Maybe that was considered offensive in his culture though, maybe you had crossed a line. Your stomach dropped but only for a moment as you remembered your first interaction, you had touched his armor quite a bit that night so that couldn’t be it. 

You hated riddles, and you were giving yourself a headache.

So you spent most of the second day rubbing your temples with your eyes closed. 

And now you’re here. Day three of your strike and you’ve already run out of things to be angry about so now you finally let your mind wander to the one thing you’ve been avoiding since you met him. 

What’s under the armor? 

Or more importantly, who is under the armor? In your previous brief conversations you hadn’t brought the helmet up, they’d been so short there was no way for it to come up naturally. (And honestly you assumed he was sick of being asked about it. Everybody probably asked about it.) For what little you knew about Mandalorians, you knew they didn’t take their helmets off. But he had to at some point right? He was human. Gods, now that you thought of it you never saw him eat or drink. 

You exhaled sharply through your nose as you imagined him drinking through a little straw inside the helmet. He turned in just the slightest towards you but kept his visor trained on a shelf of books that must have been pretty interesting to have been holding his attention for the last several hours. 

He was probably scowling, like, all the time. He probably had a permanent crease between his eyebrows. It would probably piss him off if you smoothed it out with your thumb. Of course that would be why you would do it. To piss him off. 

He had to be handsome. You despised the fact that he had to be handsome. He acted with an air of confidence that only extremely good looking people had. Of course he would be handsome, the gods could not be kind enough to make him ugly. You bet his features are sharp, just like his tongue. Stop. 

Don’t think about his tongue. 

You need to talk to Leo about implementing some sort of cooling system in this dreadfully balmy library.

Think about something else. His lips. That was innocent enough. You would wager that they were chapped, spending all that time inside steel, probably made his lips dry. He was probably always licking his lips. His bottom lip was probably always jutted out in a pout, he’s so stupidly moody. His tongue was probably always poking out slightly, wetting his stupidly plush bottom lip. 

Stop. 

Maker, it’s so warm in here, it’s a good thing you’re wearing such a dark shade of blue because you’re certainly sweating through your gown. Calm down. 

Teeth. Think about teeth. There’s nothing about teeth that should make your heart race, they’re just teeth. They’re probably straight and perfect. He acted so superior, the bastard would have perfect teeth. They’re probably just sharp enough to hurt if he were to bite you, why would he be biting you?

Stop.

When you get him all riled up and simmering he probably stands there all stupid with his mouth open just slightly. You can probably see his bottom teeth when he sits there with a dumb look on his face. You could probably get a better look at them if you pulled his bottom lip down with your thumb.

Stop.

Think about his eyes. Get away from his mouth entirely. His stare has to be as intense as his presence. He could probably lay waste to a bounty with one look if he would just take the helmet off. Nope. Actually, don’t think about how his eyes would feel on your face. Be thankful for the helmet. Just stop thinking about him. How dare he. He was probably doing this on purpose, getting in your head like this. Gods, you detest him. 

He’s probably brunette. He probably keeps it short because he can’t maintain it with the helmet and all. Why does that kind of bum you out? 

Stop.

You don’t care what his hair looks like. He probably had an unkept beard, he doesn’t have time to shave. It probably scratches you as it brushes against your skin. 

Nope. 

Stop. 

You stand up, you need to get out of this horrifically stuffy library. You don’t acknowledge him as you make your way towards the dining hall, you have dinner with Kodo tonight, best not be late to see your doting hubby. Especially if the reason you’re late is because you were off somewhere thinking about another man. You don’t hear him but you know Mando is behind you as you enter the dining room, you take pride in your ability to find it without having to call Leo. (It’s just down the hall from the library but to you it’s still an accomplishment.) Much to your chagrin Kodo is already seated. 

“Wife! Come, join me!” Oh he is already hammered, lucky you. 

You take your respective seat across from him and the Mandalorian takes his place a few steps behind your chair, his hands clasped in front of him. 

“Good evening husband, how has your day been?” You quickly begin to down your wine as he starts to speak, his hair is a mess, you spend nearly an hour getting ready every morning and he can’t even run a comb through his hair. Lovely. 

“Wonderful darling.” Why does he always have to look so satisfied with himself?

Dinner is long. And boring. At one point he starts talking about how unattractive he thinks one of his brother's wives is, laughing the entire time at some joke you don’t get regarding her appearance. You lazily take a bite of the unfamiliar vegetable on your plate as you try to tune him out. After your first day here you stopped questioning the food, it was always good so who cares what it is. He slams back another drink, a servant rushes over and fills his glance once more. He’s had so much to drink at this point you wonder how he’s still sitting upright. It’s quiet for a moment and you realize that he’s waiting for a response to something. Maker, you should have been paying attention. His gaze darkens as he lets out a tsk. 

“I had quite a pleasant time today out in the city.”

“Oh really? What did you do today my prince?”

“They had opened a new pleasure house in the city, and a few of my brothers and I visited for the grand opening.” He starts laughing, slamming his glass onto the table as he shakes with laughter. Your entire body went rigid. You knew he was probably visiting brothels, of course he was, but the way he threw it into your face with no regard for your feelings rattled you enough to make you just want to leave. You took another sip of wine. 

“Did you, my prince? And how was that?” You can feel the tension in the room, every servant is standing a bit straighter, their eyes all forward. 

“Just wonderful.” He clicks his tongue as he picks at his food with his hands. You don’t bother hiding the disgust on your face. He leers at you. “What? Are you displeased, wife? ” You suck in a breath through your teeth. 

“No, of course not, my prince.” You set your fork down, you’ve lost your appetite. 

“No, no, no, if you are unhappy, wife, I would love for you to speak up.” He’s snickering at this point, teetering drunkenly. You want to leave, you don’t like this. He had always been annoying at the worst of times, and dismissive, but now he was just belittling you. 

At least you finally had a valid reason to hate him. 

“I am fine.” You say it as steadily as you can manage. “Just tired.”

“Really? What have you done today that has left you so tired?” 

Gods, you just want to leave.

“I did quite a lot of reading today, my pri-” He bursts into laughter before you can even finish. Your face is starting to heat.

“Is that so? This is why I do not spend more time with you, my nervous mouse.” Gross, you hate that name. “You’re just so… bland.”

Ouch.

“Don’t you agree, mouse?” 

You know he wants you to answer, and something tells you that he won’t let you leave unless you do. So you swallow your pride. And you swallow the lump that is forming in your throat.

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

Maybe you should put him lower on your list than the Mandalorian.

“Yes. I am bland.”

He leans back in his chair with a predatory smile on his face, like he was the cat, and you were the mouse. The insignificant mouse. 

“That is all I wanted to hear, dear wife.” He flashes you a toothy grin, giving you a wave you know means you’re dismissed. And you stand, rushing out into the hall and storming off towards your chambers as briskly as possible. Feeling the tears that you’ve held in for three weeks now starting to prickle at the corners of your eyes. The Mandalorians pace never falters as he trails after you until you finally find your chambers, all on your own. You wish you were in the mood to appreciate such an accomplishment. You wipe your eyes with the back of your hand as subtly as possible, your other hand opening the door, you only get the door open a few inches before it slams shut. You turn around in an instant to glare at him, The Mandalorian was looming over you, his hand just above your head, holding the door shut. You can’t do this right now. You know that the moment he starts whatever snarky comments he surely has about that dinner that you won’t be able to hold back the tears anymore. You can’t do anything other than squeeze your eyes shut to hold back the waterworks as you brace yourself for whatever he has to say. 

The familiar faint crackle of the modulator fills the air, suffocating you. 

“Are you okay?”

Oh. 

You open your eyes and he isn’t looming over you anymore, he’s just standing, notably a few steps back now. 

You wish you could stop what happened next, but it all finally happened. At long last, you cry. You finally break down, the weight of the world collapsing down on you. He doesn’t move, or speak, he just stares. Honestly you’re pretty sure you’ve caught him off guard. 

“No.” 

It’s all you can squeak out, you wish you didn’t sound so pathetic as you said it. 

“I just… I want to go home. I hate this entire stupid planet. I hate this confusing castle and now I hate my husband” Gods you need to stop talking, you’re starting to babble, but he doesn’t speak and you can’t stand the silence so you just keep going. “I didn’t want this. Any of this. I miss my brothers and sisters, I miss talking to people. I miss being alone.” You stare up at him now with big wet eyes, you detest the way your lip quivers. “Like, actually alone. Because now I feel alone, but I’m surrounded by people constantly… and that is a thousand times worse. And I feel like I’m going crazy, like, all the time. And I can’t even talk to you, you’re always there and I can’t say a word. I don’t want to have some deep and meaningful conversation with you for Makers sake. I just want to insult you because that is the only thing I can do when I am in your infuriating presence, and you are the only person I can insult who doesn’t suddenly start to fear for his livelihood.” You stare into that miserably cold visor. “And I don’t know what I did to deserve any of this.” You sniffle as you wipe your eyes again. 

You just stand there. You want him to say something, you don’t even want him to comfort you, you just want to hear the modulator crackle, anything. But he doesn’t. And you can’t take it. So you swing open your chamber doors and slam them shut behind you, make sure to lock them as loudly as possible. 

You cry. You spend the rest of the evening crying, once you get out of that terrible dress you lay on your nest of blankets in the closet in your undergarments, clutching a pillow as you fight back sobs. So much for the silent treatment you’d been giving him. Now he probably hates you even more, he probably thinks you are some whiney, spoiled, coddled little girl who can’t handle royal life. 

It’s the middle of the night and you’ve nearly wept yourself to sleep when you hear the faintest knock on your bedroom door. 

Your heart skips a beat.

It isn’t Elaine, or Lysa, or Leo. None of them ever bother you this late, and you certainly didn’t summon them. There’s only one person it could possibly be and your heart is nearly beating out of your chest. 

Why would he come here so late? 

You don’t know but a part of you that you are really struggling to rein in while you’re still in this sensitive state has an idea of what you want the reason to be. 

No.

You don’t want that. The part of you that is obviously going crazy, that’s who wants it. Not you. You weren’t allowing that part any control, not these last three weeks and certainly not now. Still, you don a robe and rush to the door. You take a moment for a deep breath before you slide the lock back and open the door, slowly, but surely. 

But he isn’t there. 

Stop feeling disappointed. 

You take a careful step out the door, the soft glow from your room illuminating the hall. You look down both passages, searching for that glimmer of silver but you never see it. As you dejectedly go to close the door something catches your eye. A book, on the ground just outside your door. You lean down to pick it up before quickly retreating into your room. You walk over to a lamp to get a clearer view of it. As your eyes scan the title a warmth spreads across your face. 

The Smitten Paladin. 

So he had gone back for them. 

You need to stop smiling. Obviously he did this because he feels bad for you. Or, if you’re lucky, it’s a peace offering. You return to the closet, bringing the lamp over to your makeshift bed as you open the cover, wanting to read a chapter before bed, but your eyes dart to something scrawled inside. The handwriting is small and neat as you read it.

"It’s green." 

You decide that the Mandalorian isn’t your least favorite person here anymore.

[lxmine]

I really liked your itto hc, can I request one more?

We know how well he's clothed in the game so the reader can't help but keep staring at his chest and eventually reaching out to touch it. They feel him up a little before realising what they're doing and promptly remove their hand. I'd really like to know how you think he would react.

Thank you for indulging our requests and working so hard on them.💪

❝i know i shouldn’t but….❞ + itto, capitano, dottore x gn!reader

+. Crackfic kinda?, big honkers, slight suggestive,, lower cased letters

+. Summary : them reacting to you wanting to touch/touching their broad chest :p

+. A/N THIS OMG T-T im surprised but HELL YES HEBEIDBEJDBI i added capitano and dottore bcuz why not >:) and im having writers block rn and i tried my best to post pls forgive me for this ugly ass writing T-T AND IM SORRY BUT I GOT CARRIED AWAY AT CAPITANO’S

itto

it’s raining pretty heavily outside, and you’re laying in bed with your beloved oni who’s rambling about this and that.

he’s half bare, it’s cold yet he doesn’t really mind. he looks and observes you as he talked.

a grin then creeps up to his face seeing that you’re looking at his chest and your hand that was resting on his waist was now on his chest feelings him up.

“sigh, my chest is that distracting huh?” realizing what he meant and said, you quickly took your hands off him and covered your face with the blanket.

“shush! you just looked comfy is all.” he chuckles and scoots closer to embrace you, you’ve hugged him many times before but you’ll always find his chest so damn comfortable.

“don’t get shy on me now, i know how much you love to cuddle onto me.” he pulls the blanket down to pamper you with kisses. “go on, i’ll be your personal pillow for the rest of your life baby.” he smirks pulling you even more closer to him.

“stop that, you’re embarrassing me!” you chuckled burying your face into his chest while he laughed and caressed your hair at the same time. “let’s just take a nap.”

capitano

he’s working on his piled up desk while you sat beside him doing some of his easy paper work he forced you to because he doesn’t want you to annoy him while he worked

you were getting hella bored, his office have nothing interesting in them so you just stared at the masked man who is too focused to even spare a glance at you.

“did i allow you to stop?” he sighs as he continued to sign papers, you only responded with a grumble and stood up to grab a treat. “do you maybe want coffee?”

he humms in response and so you quickly went out to take some.

coming back with a lollipop in mouth and hot coffee in hand. you noticed his coat is now off and is lying on his couch near his desk.

skipping over to him “careful, don’t want you spilling that thing on you.” he says still not averting his eyes from his papers not like you can see his eyes but you get what i mean

“damn, i wouldn’t mind working with you if you looked like that everyday.” you said sarcastically, taking your seat beside him and placing his coffee next to him and he only scoffed.

he then took his mask off while you admired him as he took a sip of his coffee. he looked so……….. so hot. the outline of his chest is visible through his black turtle neck and his stern expression draw you into him more

“get to work, thought you wanted to eat dinner out tonight. help me finish these, faster.” he ordered giving you a small glare. a small blush creeping up to your face while you looked up to him and his chest

“w-well if you want me to work for hours, i need motivation you know…!” you said crassly teasing him, but he didn’t look to happy about that (when did he ever?)

“if you wish to touch my chest then you must finish at least a dozen of these, do we have a deal?” he offers, grabbing your pen to start writing

“yes, sir!”

dottore

“nah, how the hell is that even gonna work?”, “you seriously think that’s gonna work?”, “i just know that’s not gonna work.” and more of your annoying comments about the ruin he’s experimenting on repeated.

you love annoying the living shit out of him just so he could do what you want so you wouldn’t annoy him. he groaned glaring at you, who is sitting at his couch.

“zandik.” you called and received no response, only the sound of grinding metals are heard.

“zandik..” “…” “zandik!” “…” “zandik, zandik, dottore, dott-“ “IN THE NAME OF THE TSARITSA, WHAT IS IT!?”

“it’s warm, can you take your coat off already?” you said standing up from the couch to grab some candies from your candy jar that he kept in his lab for you they’re totally not poisoned or filled with some weird medicine

he gave you a look before rolling his eyes and taking his coat off along with his mask. “if you wanted to see my chest, you could’ve just asked, you insolent brat.” he then throws his coat at you and genstures you to come closer to him. “now would you be so kind and tie my hair for me, love?” he smirks and kisses your cheeks. “sure, sure! as long as you’re gonna come home with me tonight so we can cuddle.” you winked.

he sighed, he rarely comes home because of his piled work and experiments but he guesses he can make exceptions for you.

was twirling my hair and swinging my feet while writing this LMAO and i just turned 15 back in october 30th yay!!! anyway, here ya go. i apologize for not posting in so long i ws busy grinding my ass off for scaramouche cuz i couldn’t help myself and wished for nilou LMAO and just so u guys know my requests are open and you’re free to request fics or hcs you want! just not nsfw/smut ones. anyway stay safe and hydrated, take care of your mental and physical health I LOVE YOU <3

MASTERLIST

[peterman-spideyparker]

All My Tomorrows (Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader) - Sinatra Series 8/9

Author’s Note: Hello, gorgeous people! SO, long story short, I was going to post this at the beginning of January, but I quit my job, wrapped up those duties there, started a new job, and I feel like I've finally settled in and can breathe a bit! And what better day than Valentine's Day to post this next fluffy part! Thank you for your patience! Enjoy! :)

Summary: Matt loves you so incredibly much, and he can't wait to ask you the most important question of your lives

Suggested Listening: All My Tomorrows by Frank Sinatra

Warnings: Fluff--fluffy fluff fluff, nothing but love and domestic affection

Other Characters: None

Word Count: 961

It’s not the little snores that come from you that wakes Matt up. If anything, they usually help him fall asleep—along with your heartbeat, they’re signs to him that you’re relaxed, that you’re comfortable and content, that you’re here with him. Right in his arms, acting like an anchor when his mind starts to become too much, when the bruises and aches of his body are all he can feel, Matt knows he can reach for you and everything will be alright.

So when he wakes up in the middle of the night, rested and happy, cold winter air seeping though the large windows of the loft, and finds you cuddled up into his chest, your warm breath spreading across his skin like a cozy blanket, he knows now is the perfect time.

“Angel,” he whispers. He hates the thought of waking you up, but the moment is perfect. He can’t bring himself to wait. “Sweetheart.”

You gently stir against him, the tip of your nose grazing against his skin as you tilt your head up. “Matty?” you groan, feeling the heat of his body snuggles against yours. “You okay?”

“I’m fine, angel,” he assures you, kissing your forehead, pushing wisps of hair off of your skin.

“Then why are you up?” you yawn before pressing a kiss into the hollow of his neck.

“I’m happy,” he says, his voice in a deliciously gravelly timbre. “I’m in love. I want to marry you.”

“Mm, that’s nice, Matty,” you snuggle down on him, taking in a deep whiff of his skin. “Me too.”

He feels your chest rise and fall for a few more seconds before he hears your heart skip a beat—a sign you’re now awake.

“Matthew?” you question, the sleep leaving your voice.

“Yes, (Y/N)?” he smiles so warmly that it makes you feel butterflies in your chest.

“Did you just ask me to marry you?”

A chuckle rumbles in Matt’s chest before he rolls on top of you, supporting himself on his forearms. “If we’re being technical, it was a statement,” he says with a little grin. “I want to marry you. You’ve given me hope, you’ve shown me incredible love that I haven’t experienced since my father died . . .” He takes a deep breath and collects himself. “On my worst days when I question everything, you make me realize that my life, everything that I do, is worth it. All my tomorrows belong to you, (Y/N). It’d be an honor and a blessing if I could spend the rest of my life with you. (Y/N), my love, my angel, will you marry me?”

You lie there in bed, absolutely stunned, trying to discern if this is a dream or actually happening.

“That time I was asking,” Matt cheekily adds, trying to mask just how nervous he is.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, I should have waited until the morning. I should have planned better. This was a mist—.”

You take his face in your hands, closing the gap in your lips. The force of the pull allows Matt to place his body weight on you, like the best kind of weighted blanket in the world. The kisses are soft, absolutely tender, and full of nothing but love.

“Is that a yes, sweetheart?” he smiles against your lips, pressing more kisses to the plush skin.

“Yes, Matty,” you sniffle, leaning forward to meet his kisses. “Of course.” Kiss. “Always.” Kiss. “Forever.”

Matt rolls your bodies over, getting the opportunity to hold onto your form better while also reaching for something in his bedside drawer.

“This was my Gram’s,” Matt explains, moving the ring between his fingers. “I don’t really remember what it looks like, but—.”

“Matty—.”

“—I-I really want to give you something special that you like the look of, too, and my senses only go so far with something like this—.”

“Matthew,” you interrupt a little sharper, pushing the hair back from his face and kissing his forehead. “I don’t need anything. By you asking . . . Matty, I only ever need you, you understand?”

Matt’s smile is warm and twinkling, and he places kisses all over your face. “Want to give me that finger of yours, angel?”

His fingers trace along your arm and down to your hand as you spread your fingers and extend it toward him. He slides it on, holding your fingers in his warm hand and kissing every knuckle with reverence.

“This is perfect,” you breathe. “It’s beautiful.”

“It’s a little big,” he hums running his thumb over the piece of jewelry. “It’ll have to be sized.”

“The detail is so pretty, Matty. I’d hate to ruin it. I could always just wear it in a chain. Keep it close to my heart all the time.”

“That’s incredibly sweet of you, angel. But every time I take your hand in mine, I want to feel that ring on your finger. A wonderful little symbol of our love.”

“Well, in that case, we can go to a jeweler tomorrow. Maybe they can recommend one of those ring numbers so it can fit and we don’t lose the detail.”

Matt beams, bringing your lips together once more as he rolls both of you over on the bed, trapping you under him in nothing but love and warmth. “I love you, angel.”

You move your head to the side and release a yawn you're unable to stifle before turning back to him. “I love you, too, Matty.”

He readjusts, pressing his chest flush to your back, wrapping his arms around you, pressing kisses all over the back of your shoulders and neck. You rest your hands over his, nestled just under your breasts as he holds you close, gently lulling you into a sweet sleep.

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[ryloriee678999]

Feed (Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader)

A/N: lol this is my FIRST ever fic and of course its a vent fic. (yikes for me lol.) There's some really good writing on tumblr and I'm lowkey scared to post this.

Summary: Natasha surprises you with a week off from work. The only problem now is keeping your secret from your girlfriend. (3K words)

TW: Please take care of yourself, this fic is heavily surrounded by eating disorders. It does go into detail and I don't want anyone reading this if you think it would trigger you.

“I got us the week off of work!” Natasha reveals. Her smile wide knowing how much you two needed a break after constantly overworking yourselves. Finally, Fury gave in and decided to let you two have a few days off.

You stare at her for a moment, only turning your lips up into a smile when Natasha looked at you like something was wrong. “Aren't you happy?” She asks. Right away you nodded and faked an even bigger. “Of course I'm happy! We finally get a break from all that paperwork,” You reply, trying to sound as convincing as you could.

Natasha let out a happy sigh as she let herself fall onto the sofa, “I can't remember the last time we had time off like this. I bet the others are going to be so jealous and-”  You didn't mean to tune your girlfriend out, normally you loved listening to her voice and seeing her happy, but her voice turned into background noise as you got lost in your thoughts.

Keeping your ‘little secret’ this week would be harder. You didn't want to admit to yourself you had an eating disorder but you knew that's exactly what you had. Normally you and Nat would be too busy to share meals together so she never really noticed when you skipped. Of course, sometimes your girlfriend would surprise you and make dinner for the both of you but that was only sometimes and you were able to make up for it the next day. This time, it would be an entire week of constantly being together and you knew you would have to eat in front of her at some point. The worry already settled into your chest, making you anxious. You couldn't even see the good side of things since it was being clouded by the feeling.

You didn't even realize your face started to frown. “Is everything okay?” Natasha asked. “You don't seem very thrilled.” You didn't realize she was standing in front of you until her hands touched yours. Finally, you snap out of the trance you were in and give her one more smile, “believe me, I'm so happy.” You give her a quick peck on the cheek to furthermore convince her. “I can’t wait.”

You might have purposely ‘forgotten’ to turn off the alarm that normally woke you up at 6 am. Natasha even told you right before going to bed to turn it off but you ignored her.

A loud groan came from your girlfriend as she covered her ears with blankets to shield her from the noise. She stirred, wishing her sleep wasn't interrupted by an angry alarm. “Don't even think about getting out of bed to train right now,” she said angrily with her eyes still closed and face stuffed under the blanket.

You were about to ignore her and go to the gym anyway but her arm grabbed yours before you could leave. A quiet sigh left your mouth as you let yourself fall back into her arms, you didn't even try to fight it. You trained every day to keep yourself from going insane, you didn't know how you were gonna make it this week. The food combined with not working out sat heavily on your mind until you were able to fall back asleep.

The day started off lazy, you both stayed in bed until noon. Natasha suggested going out for pastries and you hesitantly accepted. You figured since you two skipped lunch you’d allow yourself one croissant or something.

On the way there you held hands, talking about how many things Natasha wanted to do with you. For the first time this week, you really felt happy, not one thing bothering you until Natasha brought up dinner tonight. She wanted to surprise you but she was so excited that she told you. It was somewhere really fancy, somewhere where you would have to dress up and eat way too many courses. You tried pushing the thoughts to the back of your head and listening to her but it was getting hard. These thoughts stayed until you got home. It didn't help that you were now eating brunch on top of the dinner to come.

The dress you wore that used to be tight felt loose around your skin. You couldn't believe how you used to wear this to parties months ago. It only dawned on you now how revealing it is. You hated what you saw but sucked it up once you caught a glimpse of what Natasha was wearing. God, she looked good. You didn't want to compare yourself to her but you couldn't help but feel gross about yourself.

Dinner was filled with uncomfortable grabbing at your dress, you hated feeling it on your stomach so you constantly sat up to adjust it. Although the restaurant wasn't packed, you still couldn't help but feel everyone's eyes on you. Natasha was amazing of course. She made everything better but it wasn't enough to take over how you felt.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” Natasha says as her eyes look down at you.

‘Liar.’

“Only a few times,” you laugh.

At night you sat in bed silently until the redhead fell asleep. You felt your stomach twist and your eyes threatening to spill tears. Not even the first day has passed and you already felt like giving up. You promised yourself it would never come to this point but it really felt like an emergency.

Carefully you lifted the blanket up and slid off the bed, the coldness of the room hit your body but it wasn't long before you headed to the bathroom and locked the door. Immediately you felt yourself start to break at the reflection in the mirror. You wish you could cover it up with a towel or something but instead, you tear your eyes away from yourself and look at the toilet.

Never have you tried throwing up your food. It crossed your mind a few times on those bad days but never have you gone this far. You were getting desperate and right now you thought it would make you feel better if you tried.

You kneeled in front of the toilet before pushing your fingers harshly to the back of your throat. After gagging time after time, you felt frustrated that nothing was happening. It was too late, you probably digested the food already or maybe you weren't trying hard enough. You cursed to yourself, hating how this was all happening. You didn't want this disorder, you wanted to be okay and normal and not have torment seep into your mind every time you see yourself.

At this point, you slumped against the shower waiting for your breathing to come down and your eyes to become less puffy.

It must've been a while because soon you heard quiet footsteps heading towards you. “Baby?” Natasha called while giving a knock on the door. “Are you okay?” She asked.

Shit, You thought she would be asleep but of course, she would wake up from the sounds of retching and gagging you tried so hard to hide. You let out a shaky breath, praying that your voice wouldn't reveal how you were feeling. “Yeah, I just felt sick. I’ll come to bed in a minute.” You said, your voice a little hoarse from all the damage you did.

Natasha wasn't completely satisfied with the response, she wanted to come in there and see for herself if you were okay. You seemed fine today, what changed? But seeing that it was late and she was tired, Nat decided to give you space for now and ask you about it tomorrow.

The next day you woke up and the bed was empty. You immediately sat up looking around the room for your girlfriend until you heard a sound from the kitchen. The music was quiet but you could still hear one of Natasha's favorite songs playing. You smiled, picturing your girlfriend humming to the music as she did whatever she was doing.

You see her turn around once she hears the bedroom door creak open. You walk over to the table and sit down, worry already bubbling when you see a bowl in front of you.

“How are you feeling?” Natasha asks softly. She goes to turn off the stove then sits next to you, her eyes glaring at you in search of any signs of sickness. “I’m fine, I'm not sure what came over me last night,” you lied. Natasha's eyes narrowed for a second before she stood up and took the bowl that was in front of you.

“Well I made soup just in case, It’s the kind you like too,” Natasha said as she ladled soup into the bowl. She presented it in front of you and then sat across from you with her own plate.

Feeling trapped in the moment, you bring the spoon up to your mouth and take a small sip. Your nose scrunched up a bit but you hoped Nat wouldn't see. Thankfully she was staring at her phone so she didn't notice. She only noticed when you didn't touch the rest of it.

“Do you not like it?” She asks bluntly.

“I’m not hungry right now,” you brush off. “I’m not really a breakfast person.”

“You aren't?” Natasha questioned. She remembers when she first met you, you sometimes cooked breakfast for everyone after your early morning training. Everyone would circle around the dining table and eat what you cooked, yourself included. But then when you started dating and eventually moved in, she couldn't remember the last time you had food in the morning.

Before you could respond Natasha's phone rang. You looked over before she picked up, Clint's contact filling the screen. It wasn't anything you’d pay attention to but when Natasha responded to him in a harsh tone you looked up at her.

She threw her phone down on the table and stood up abruptly. Her fingers found their way to her hair as she sighed. “I can’t catch a fucking break,” she complained. “What's wrong? What happened?” You question, your face alarmed at how angry your girlfriend looks.

“There's an emergency, I have to get to the Quinjet right now,” she explains. Before you could ask more questions she already made her way to the closet where she keeps her suit. “Well do you guys need help?” You yell from the kitchen.

Natasha reappears near the door while putting on her shoes. “No, It's just me.” Before she heads out she mutters an apology and leaves you with a quick kiss.

Great, now you're left all alone. The first thing you do is clean up the dishes and empty the soup into the sink. Although you were sad about her leaving, this did give you a chance to do whatever you wanted without the fear of Natasha bringing you food. You laughed at yourself, you fight terrifying criminals for a living and now you're practically scared of soup.

You figured you’d make yourself useful while she was gone. So after cleaning up a bit you sat down, now realizing how bored you were. You’d been working so much that you’ve forgotten what to do with yourself when you had free time. But you know being bored leads to eating and eating leads to feeling like shit. So instead of sitting down all day you leave your room and search for some company around the compound.

It didn't take long to find someone to hang out with. You looked for Wanda but it looked like she was also on the mission. Instead, Peter was sitting on the couch, equally as pissed that he wasn't invited on the mission. You both talked for a bit and learnt that it would (hopefully) only take a few hours and that everyone would be back around dinner time. After the conversation, Peter persuaded you to come train with him. It would waste a few hours so you agreed.

After a few hours you excused yourself. You figured it was time to stop training when black dots started to appear in your vision

. “It’s not fair that you two get the week off!” You heard a voice yell, followed by the door opening.

You were in the bathroom showering and it seemed that Natasha was home along with someone else. Quickly you towel dry your hair and walk out to see Wanda and your girlfriend talking on the couch.

“Well we work the hardest out of everyone,” Natasha responded which made Wanda laugh.

“You do not work the hardest,” she mumbles. “You’re all over each other at work, don't forget who constantly reminds you to keep working.”

“Yeah whatever,” Nat rolls her eyes.

“Can we order food now, I’m starving,” Wanda sighed as you joined them on the couch. You took the remote but it was stolen from your grip right away. You didn't even bother taking it back or acknowledging anyone, you were way too tired and Natasha seemed to pick up on that.

“What? No hello?” Natasha teases.

Your eyes tiredly watched the tv in front of you while Wanda scrolled through shows and movies. “Hey Wanda,” you greet, purposely ignoring your girlfriend. “Jerk,” Natasha fake pouted and you for once genuinely smiled.

A little bit passed before Wanda urged Natasha to call the take out place already. Before dialling she turned to you. “Baby, do you want anything from the restaurant?” She asked.

You actually considered it since you have yet to eat today but every take-out food you could think of had too many calories. Quickly you came up with an excuse, “I’m good, I had a big lunch before you came home.”

Natasha frowned, once again sorry that she couldn't be home today. She gave your hand a quick squeeze before standing up and picking up her phone to call the restaurant.

Finally, Wanda settled on a movie but before pressing play she looked at you. Her eyebrows furrowed together, it looked like she was going to say something but she decided to stay quiet. She pressed play on the movie and Natasha joined you two. She went to sit next to you but you shifted away, suddenly feeling like you were taking up too much space.

Soon the food was here. Two medium pizzas spread across the kitchen island. You hated how appetizing it looked. It tempts you but you stay on the couch, out of reach from the food. The girls both stand up grabbing slices and bringing them to the couch. You watch them take bite after bite of the delicious food. And the smell- the smell was starting to get to you.

Instead of giving in to what you wanted, you stand up and head toward the bedroom. “I hope you don't mind but I’m really tired and I think I'm gonna lie down for a bit.”   Natasha looked down at her food, she thought you were mad at her about today. Wanda waved, “I’ll see you on Monday.”

Right when they hear the door close, Wanda brings the volume of the movie down and looks at Natasha. “So how are you? We didn't get to talk much,” Wanda spoke as she grabbed another slice of pizza from her plate.

Natasha moved closer to keep her voice low in case you weren't asleep yet, “I’m a little worried actually.” Wanda could already tell why but she kept silent. “I mean maybe I shouldn't have left today, I feel really bad about it,” she opened up. Wanda put her hand on Natasha's shoulder, “It was an emergency, there wasn't anything you could do.”

The Widow nodded, trying to push the guilt down. “I’m worried too,” Wanda admitted. “Somethings going on.”

“She seems so different lately, I don't know what I did or said,” she vented. “Maybe she doesn't want to spend this much time with me Wands. What if I'm suffocating her?” Wanda shook her head and brought the girl into a hug. “I’m sure whatever she's dealing with has nothing to do with you.”

Natasha buries her head into the other girl's shoulder. “I’m just so worried,” She repeats. “Can’t you read her mind?” Normally Natasha would never ask Wanda to do such a thing, it would be an absolute violation of your privacy. It was the first time you have ever acted not like yourself and it was sort of freaking her out. “You know I can't do that, hon,” Wanda says. “How about you try talking to her first?” Natasha nodded and decided she was gonna bring it up tomorrow.

You woke up early on purpose to go on a short run. You didn't see Natasha in bed so you figured she went out as well. Just as you were about to slide out the door, Natasha appeared out of nowhere and called out your name.

“Where are you going?”

“Out, I just want to get some air,” You lied. “Maybe to the convenience store to buy a snack.”

“I'll come with you,” she suggests and grabs her bag from the table.

You open the door before denying her. “No that's okay,” you say, already stepping out of the room. “Why not,” you hear her. At this point you were irritated, all you wanted to do was run by yourself. You didn't want anyone to watch you run out of breath or see the way your thighs moved when you run.

“Can you just leave me alone?” you snapped. You hate to admit it but at this point, the hunger was starting to get to you, and that meant making you feel angry. “You have the rest of the week to annoy me.”

Natasha felt hurt, but she brushed her own feelings aside. She promised herself she would talk to you about what was happening. “Is this because of the mission?” She asked. “Believe me babe I really didn't want to go but it was an emergency.”

“It's not that,” you cross your arms.

“Then what did I do? You’ve been acting differently for a while?” The redhead asks.

You automatically feel stupid, how could you let her think this could possibly be her fault. You didn't even think about how your actions or attitude were affecting your girlfriend. “No- no, no of course not Nat, there’s nothing wrong. You did nothing, nothing wrong,” you huffed in frustration.

“Then why aren't you eating?” She finally asks. She's had her suspicions for some time now, but this time with you confirmed her fear. You start to panic, but try your best not to let it show on your face. You don't know where you slipped up, you just grip the door handle tighter while thinking about all the times she might have noticed. Natasha steps closer and guides you away from the door and towards the middle of the room.

“I hate seeing you like this and I'm worried.” You don't respond, You wanted to but it was so hard. It was tempting to tell her about everything, but for some reason, you couldn't. “You really didn't think I'd notice?”

“It’s nothing, I’m fine,” You respond, only for your voice to falter. It's not even convincing enough to convince you. You were trained to lie but with Natasha staring at you like that, you knew you had fucked up.

“Bullshit,” she blurted out harshly.

The room went quiet and you felt tears forming in your eyes. Natasha watched the sight of the girl in front of her, your chest starting to heave as the disgusting ache in your stomach started to grow. You felt your face being cupped into her hands, her fingers pushing back layers of your hair that covered your eyes. “It’s going to be okay,” she soothed.

“We’re going to be fine.”

In the end, Nat scheduled the next week off, and then another week off when things didn't look like they were getting better. You both knew it would take a while for things to fully recover but Natasha was more than willing to stay by your side. She tried her best to be understanding even when you got angry. Over time, you started to feel like things were getting better. Although things will never be fully okay, that didn't mean she would ever leave.  

[sillygooseassociation]

Taking Care of You

Request: can i be self indulgent and ask you to write something fluffy about telling jason you're in terrible period pain and being surprised cause he sort of dropped his commitments of the day to come home and take care of you? (its what i'm picturing as i run around at work lol)

Description: Despite telling Jason to go to work after waking up to your period, he knows exactly what you need and comes home to take care of his girl.

Warning(s): period talk, mention of pregnancy, mention of trying for a baby not working

Word Count: 1.5k

A/N: okay so i went a little away from the request by including a pregnancy subplot so oops. it came to my head and i couldn't resist, sorry lol

-

You let out a groan as you roll around on your back, unable to find any comfortable position as you lay in bed, covered in fluffy blankets and a heating pad resting on your stomach. How much work would it be to rip out my uterus? You swat away your mind’s ideas, pulling the blankets even farther up your body as you try to keep your tears at bay.

A week of bleeding and being in pain wasn’t enjoyable for anyone but it felt like an extra stab in the heart this time. If you had your period, that meant another month of trying hadn’t worked. After months of taking tests only to read negative on the plastic, the disappointment had become expected, but it didn’t make it any easier. You knew Jason was hurting, he was the one that wanted to start trying anyway, he wanted the kids all to be fairly close in age. Plus, even if he didn’t admit it, you know that he wanted to be as young as possible while raising his children. Even though he was hurting, he hid it as much as he could. He held you and did all that you asked plus things you didn’t ask. 

As you think about the compassion of your fiancé, you can’t help but cry, the combination of period hormones, disappointment about the baby, and love for your partner being too much. When you woke up that morning to a red stain on the sheets, a sob immediately let your mouth and Jason was up in an instant, pulling you into his arms and whispering comfort to you. As you took a hot shower, he replaced the sheets and got out his comfiest sweater for you. He offered to stay home but you quickly shooed him out of the house, he was not about to skip post-production meetings with Apple just because you were sad.

A few hours later, you weren’t regretting that decision but you were certainly missing him and his arms around you. Sure, his thundergong sweatshirt smelled like him and you may or may not have stolen his pillow from his side of the bed, but it wasn’t the same. You look at the time on your phone, realizing that you needed to leave for lunch with your friend. As you opened up your text thread to let her know you’d be late, a crippling cramp ran through your torso. You quickly typed out an apology, explaining that you would have to reschedule, before tossing your phone to the side, bringing your body into the fetal position while you try to urge the pain away, tears running down your face as you drift to sleep. 

Feeling the bed dip next to you and a hand gently placed on your cheek, you open your tired eyes to see Jason looking at you with concerned eyes, “Hey there, beautiful.” You groaned at his compliment, feeling anything but beautiful as you stretch out your legs from their now uncomfortable position. Jason chuckles lightly though you can tell from the tone of his laugh that he was still concerned, “How are you feeling?” You look up at him to answer before looking around the room, noticing that there’s far too much light coming through the window for it to be the end of his work day, “Wait…why are you here?”

Jason laughs as he stands up from the bed, walking toward your closet as he pulls off his jeans and throws them in the laundry hamper, “I do live here, you know.” You roll your eyes and though he can’t see you, Jason can feel your annoyed expression from here, “I just decided to come home.” You sit up, leaning your back against the headboard as you search the sea of blankets for your phone. Once you find it and turn it on to see the time, your eyes widen, “Jas, you have meetings until 5, what are you doing home at noon?” He walks back into the room, now dressed in sweats and a chiefs tee, tossing you a look of mock horror, “Um, are you stalking me? Why do you know my schedule?” He catches the pillow you toss at him, showing you a bright smile as he walks to the bed and lays down next to you, “Stop acting like a little shit and tell me why you’re here.”

He chuckles lowly at your demand, pushing your heating pad to the side and lifting his your sweatshirt up just enough so he has access to your bare stomach. Being careful to not press down too hard, Jason gently massages your sore midsection, eliciting a low groan of relief from you. “Feels good, but I’m still waiting on an answer.” Jason looks up at you with an annoyed expression, “Will you just let me take care of you please?” You look back at him with an equally annoyed expression, “Not if it means you’re ignoring your responsibilities.” Sighing, Jason looks down where he continues to massage your skin, “Yes, I skipped out on the rest of my meetings. Yes, I know you told me not to do that. No, this will not ruin the timeline of production. No, you are not ruining my work.”

The bastard looks up at you with a small smirk on his face, pleased with the expression on your face at him answering all of your questions before you could even ask them. You let out a huff, crossing your arms as you look to the side of the room, not wanting to meet his eyes because you know it’ll just make you cry, “You shouldn’t have to do that though, I should just deal with my stupid issues.” Jason’s eyes, though you can’t see them, soften, the man then sits up and places himself in front of your crossed legs, “Hey, being in pain is not a stupid issue.” You turn to him, your eyes filled with tears and you try to keep in your sobs, “But I shouldn’t be so upset, th-this just means…,” but before you can finish your sentence, the floodgates open.

Jason opens his arms and you collapse into his chest, sobs wracking through your body as you cling to his shirt. He holds you close, resting his chin on the top of your head and placing kisses there, “I know baby, I know what it means.” You eventually calm down, your sobs dissipating though tears still run down your face, “I’m sorry,” you squeak out. His grip on you tightens, “What the hell are you sorry for, Y/N?” You pull back, practically kneeling in his lap as he looks at you with widened eyes, moving his grip down to your hips, “Just, I know that this isn’t easy for you either.” 

His heart shatters.

Here you are, in so much pain that you can’t get out of bed and are absolutely heartbroken, yet you’re worried about how he is feeling. Jason pulls you back into his arms, holding your head to his chest, “You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about, sweet girl. I want to keep talking about this, but how about we try to make your body feel a bit better first, huh?” You nod against his chest, knowing that everything will seem worse in your brain if you’re in physical pain too. 

Releasing you from his arms, Jason scoots off the bed and grabs the target bags he placed next to your nightstand before he checked on you when getting home. He places the bags on the bed, pulling out the different items and explaining them as he did, “Okay, so this is what I was able to pick up on my way home, but if I forgot something, I can run back, no problem.” Your heart practically melts as you see not only how much your partner cares for you, but how much he pays attention. Jason didn’t just buy any pads but the brand and kind that you like. You loved flavored potato chips but he got you kettle cooked chips instead, he knew that you craved salty snacks on your period. He was thinking through things you hadn’t even considered, and for that, you loved him.

“…Oh and your favorite ice cream is in the freezer. I thought about getting you your sherbet too but thought you would just want the chocolate.” Jason looks up with a smile on his face though it drops when he sees tears running down your face, “Y/N, baby, are you okay? Did I do something wrong?” You shake your head, wiping away your tears and showing him a small smile, “No, you’re just, you’re perfect.” Jason laughs and turns away for a moment, attempting to hide his blush, before turning back to you and lightly tossing the pad pack at your face, giving you plenty of time to catch it, “All right, now I know you’re a fucking liar.”

[happypopcornprincess]

Reds and Greens

Pairings - soccer!player Mickey Garcia X fem!Reader (college AU)

Premise - It's the final soccer match at university, the biggest one. You are there to support your team and your best friend Mickey. Will they bring the cup home?

the inspiration behind this post came from this post by @fanboygarcia honestly, watching pictures of Danny playing football gave me this crazy idea, and I hope y'all like it!

My Main Masterlist || Mickey Garcia Masterlist

University, 2018

"...all compounds that contain a benzene ring possess special stability. Certain other compounds lack a benzene ring yet satisfy the criterion of special stability and are classified as non-benzenoid aromatic compounds and…” You loved chemistry, you really did. But right now? You wanted to be anywhere but here.

Your legs bounced subconsciously as you tapped your pen on your notebook, the page empty. Your eyes traveled to the wall clock, 4:16.

The match started an hour ago. Mickey will be playing.

He had been practicing like a madman for this match. Skipping classes, staying up late, and almost ripping his hair out overthinking the outcome was a daily occurrence. But you were there to keep him in check. 

Every day that passed with him crashing into your place after practice, the line of being just friends blurred between the two of you. The hopeless crush that you had on him ever since the two of you met kept on growing. He didn’t make it any easier.

His kind heart, his goofy jokes. And his eyes, oh, his eyes! The way they sparkled as he told you about his day, how they softened every time he petted Reuben’s cat. You could swear you once caught him looking at you in class.

 He fought through the worst in order to be a star on his team and the pride of your university. You need to be there for him.

You look to your right to find Reuben looking in your direction, his brow furrowed in frustration.

And then you hear the bell ring.

What the…

You sat up in shock as the rest of your class, wondering how it rang four minutes early, but you wasted no time. The lecturer looked around in bewilderment as you leapt off your seat, grabbed your bag, and ran out along with everyone else. The hallway was filled with students running towards the exit leading to the soccer ground, Reuben right next to you.

This was the finals, and if your college team wins this match, they will be bringing home the cup after 6 years.

“I’ll save you a seat at the front!” he shouts and sprints ahead. You struggle to keep your bag on your shoulder as you run with the huge notebook Mickey gifted you last week.

“This weighs a literal ton!” you grunted as you picked up the notebook off your bed, as he was splayed on the other side of it.

“Hey! You’ll have all your formulas and notes in one place at least! Remember that one time I had to search your entire dorm room to find your formula book?” He yawns and turns to his side wrapping your blanket around him.

It brings back memories of your first year at uni. You were still new friends and Mickey helped you search your room from top to bottom because you lost your formula book.

“Thanks.” you smiled, looking at him, but he was already asleep. He had been sleeping in your dorm room ever since his team started late-night practices.

"Thanks for everything," you huffed.

You feel a hand that nudges the strap of your backpack up your shoulder, and you turn to see Natasha smirking at you.

“Where were you?” you ask her, as she wasn’t in the class before.

“Electronics operating room.” She smirked, picking up pace as you got out of the building, the crowd moving towards the ground.

“What were you doing there?”

She tilts her head, looking at you as if you knew what she had done.

The realization hits you. “You rang the bell!” you gasp.

She laughed in retaliation and grabbed your hand, practically dragging you through the sea of people.

Your alma mater's flags were displayed all around you, red and white with a lion symbol. The rival team’s green and black could be seen from across the field in the opposite stands. You climb the ramp up to the seats, looking at the first row. You find Reuben standing on three of them, the people around him shouting at him to back off. Upon reaching the spot, Natasha gave everyone around her a death glare and they all settled down.

Reuben squeezes your shoulders, passing you a DIY flag with an ice cream stick as its pole. “I spent three dollars on it, you better not lose it, ” you give him a look and he just shrugs and laughs.

Your eyes instantly searched for the number 11 on the field among the green and red scattered on the ground. 

And there he was.

Red jersey with its back to you, the letters GARCIA written on the back in bold white. He stood with his hands on his hips, looking around at his teammates as the captain shouted to take positions. You pleaded with him to wear a headband, but he refused, and now his hair was a mess.

The whistle blows, and you look at the scoreboard to see you are down 1-3. You squirmed in your seat praying for some miracle. This was terrible.

“It’s still early, there is time.” Reuben squeezed your leg, giving you a brave smile.

Your spirits do not change, despite the fact that you can see all around you people's spirits waning.

“C’mon Mickey,” you whispered under your breath, clutching your hands nervously.

It was a significant match for him. Hell, everyone on the team had been waiting for an opportunity like this for ages. The panelists for the finals included some of the most influential people in football, as well as an ex-coach of an iconic FIFA team. Winning the finals would be a direct hit on his resume for applications to the US Navy.

It terrified you, how he managed to be so calm at this point.

The whistle blows and the ball is passed around, the opponent team trying their hardest to keep it away from the reds. They had every single player playing defense covered while their striker took the ball toward the net like it was nothing.

“Come on Garcia!” a shout erupts from behind you, and your eyes find him running towards the striker at full speed from the other side of the field, the green opposing him any chance they got. But he deflected every single one of them. And as the striker was about to score a goal that would have been a walk in the park, Mickey kicked the ball away, sweeping it under his feet and running the other way.

You stand up along with literally everyone in the stands, the cheerleaders in front of you grabbing their pom-poms, as you witness Mickey score a goal.

The stadium erupts in cheers and the Reds are called in for a talk with the coach.

“Two more points and we win!" Natasha tackles you in a bear hug.

The game resumed, the ball being passed between the greens and the reds for a good twenty minutes, but not a single goal. But then, a green got the ball, and as soon as that happened, their captain nodded to two of his teammates standing next to him. 

Even before it happened, you saw what the greens were about to do. The two defenders stood a few feet in front of Mickey, and one ran to his back. From the ground, Mickey had no idea what was happening but everyone in the stands could clearly see they were surrounding him.

“Mickey run!” Reuben’s voice boomed across the stands, and he turned to see you three standing in the front. Confusion seared on his face but he sensed what was happening as soon as he heard Reuben. He turned away from the green, running towards another teammate - TELLER - and together the two hurdled to the ball, sparring with the green with their feet.

Everyone held their breath as they saw two reds facing off with a green ball somewhere between them.

And then it rolled out from behind him, towards the goal, and Teller kicked it in the air. The ball spun in a curve, passing every green surrounding it, and hitting the goal.

Mickey tackled Teller in a hug as the reds surrounded them. The cheerleaders screamed, running forward and doing their dance.

Your heart raced with adrenaline watching the scoreboard turn 3-3.

One goal and the trophy would be yours.

There were five minutes left.

The game halted as the teams ran to their coaches, forming a circle and discussing the next step.

Natasha and Reuben looked around to see their classmates ready with their flags, some wearing the sigil, and some throwing popcorn around. They were hyped beyond their selves, ready to celebrate if they won.

The game resumed.

For the opponent, the main target was now to block the Reds from scoring no matter what, and that’s what they did most of the time.

But your captain, WOOD, stood his ground as the reds took on the greens. It was a screaming match on the bleachers, a sea of supporters shouting for their teams. Their spirits lifted as Mickey and Teller now led the attack, positioned as strikers.

They weaved through the greens, slipping the ball between them. Reds let them go, preventing greens from reaching the pair. Nearing the goal, the goalkeeper slapped his knees ready to catch the ball. The shouts grew as Teller passed the ball to Mickey as a green tackled him, with 2 minutes left on the clock.

Mickey kicks it with all his might.

The goalkeeper jumps to the right, and the ball curves to the left, hitting the net.

Score: 4-3.

You were deafened by the shouts that erupted the next second. Reds tackle Mickey and Teller in a group hug, jumping around. 

Several people jumped the barricade to enter the field. It was like second nature as you jumped, running towards Mickey with all your might.

He separates himself from his teammates, and runs to you, picking you up and spinning you around, both of you laughing.

And it was as if time had stopped.

Every glance, every accidental touch, every hand holding, and the knowing smile, as well as how your hearts beat a bit faster when the other was near, flashed before your eyes.

Does he…

Mickey didn’t give you a chance to ponder the question brewing in your mind, as he crashed his lips on yours.

His arms wrap around your waist as he puts you down on the ground, your hands grasping the nape of his neck as you steady yourself.

Well, what you have been dreaming about ever since you met this guy was finally happening. Might as well enjoy it.

Shouts and applause erupt all around you. Natasha and Reuben, both the loudest, finally watch their friends confess their feelings.

After a while, he let go of you, caressing your face with a tender touch.

“Hi,” he says, grinning.

“Hi,” you reply, your face heating up.

“We won.”

“I know!”

Breathless, he finally says, “I like you. A lot.”

You bit your lip. “I like you too.”

“I know!”

He holds you closer. “Was that cherry chapstick you’re wearing?”

You laughed out loud as you kissed him again, this time holding his face between your palms.

—-- 

Present day

You never lost the stick flag that Reuben bought at the game.

It was taped to the framed photo of the Reds in 2018 holding the winning cup, Mickey and Teller being the ones holding it above their heads.

Next to it was another photo, you both dressed in white, smiling at each other after you read your vows. It was your favorite, along with the one with Nat and Reuben from your college days.

He was on leave today. You sat on a blanket with him.

Laid out in the back of your shared home overlooking the ocean, Mickey ran his fingers through your hair. You looked forward to days like these every week. As you both finished your work, you sat in your backyard watching the California sunset. Your mind drifted back to his last football game, the day everything changed between you.

Mickey nudges your face, “what are you thinking, cariño?”

“Your last game at uni.” you look at him, smiling in the way you could see it in his eyes as he reminisces about the day.

A smile spreads across his face as he kisses your temple. "You were the coolest thing that happened to me that day," he says as he holds you tighter.

You roll your eyes and poke him playfully. “You are a soppy romantic, Mr. Garcia.”

He pinches your cheeks in response, “Only for you, Mrs. Garcia.”

A/N - Thank you everyone for sticking with me till the end of this fic! if you liked it please let me know through the asks and the comments. Any and all requests, headcanons, and drabble requests are most welcome. Love y'all, Take Care!

Requests are open! Feel free to request anything.

@tuiccim @parkjammys @akinrawsx @asteph22 @iamthebeth @thefandomqueenbb @onlyhereforthefics @yikesdameron @savedfanfics1992 @amigaytho @samwilson-mylove @jenniweaslee @anna-phora @fluffyprettykitty @fanboygarcia @fanboymickey @ladiesluver @bradshawsbaby @bradshaw-fanclub @roostersmustache @bradshawbaby

[melemele-island-official]

Ambrosius’ Lost Childhood

(A Nimona agere fic! One that i’m actually posting on main!)

Ambrosius realized that he never had a childhood, at least not a good one. The constant pressure has taken its toll on him. So, he turns to a little different of a coping mechanism.

CW: mentions of eating disorders, diet control

Ambrosius sighed.

“It’s fine, Bal. I don’t need any more. Otherwise I’ll get too…” He cut himself off as he realized what he was about to say. Ballister set his mug of tea down as he noticed the trembling of his partner’s lips.

“Hey, hey. Rose. You need to eat, just a little more. You’re safe here. You can eat.” He held up a forkful of lettuce.

“Look, it’s even got your favorite dressing on it.” Ambrosius shrank away from the fork, shaking his head. Ballister set down the fork.

“I’m gonna get sick, Bal, please don’t make me eat.” Tears began to well up in the taller man’s hazel eyes. Ballister knew this behaviour all too well, the one that said that he really didn’t want to eat.

“Alright, that’s okay, Rosebud.” Rosebud was Ballister’s nickname for Ambrosius whenever he regressed, and hearing it made the final string, the one holding him together, snap.

He practically fell into Ballister’s arms, sobbing into his shoulder. His mental age dropped from a panicky 27-year-old to a wailing 2-year-old. At that age, he didn’t even really know what he was wailing about, but whatever it was, it was making his brain feel icky.

“Shh, shh, you’re okay, Rosebud. Everything’s going to be alright.” The painful memories of being told he couldn’t eat any more, being sent off to bed without a meal, the nights he made himself throw up because he felt like he was getting too big, skipping meals. It all weighed down on him like a bag of bricks.

And he’d been working hard to break the cycle, and he was doing really good and hadn’t had a panic attack over food in a while—until tonight. He felt like he just ruined all that progress.

The panic attacks were always bad. Sometimes he threw up during them, sometimes he just got really scared, and other times he hurt himself. The throwing up ones were the worst.

Ballister rocked him back and forth, gently hushing him and running his fingers through his hair. As soon as the sobbing had reduced to little hiccups, he pulled out of Ballister’s embrace and sniffled.

“Do you want your baba?” Ballister asked gently, to which he nodded. He sat on the kitchen floor, watching Ballister as he walked to the refrigerator.

“Gonna puke up…” He mumbled, feeling some nervous-nausea. Ballister turned to look at him.

“If you’re going to puke up, you know where the wastebin is, baby.” He pointed to the wastebin, which was lined with a bag.

After they all moved in together, Ballister noticed that Ambrosius had quite a few times when he puked, whether he had a stomach bug, something irritated his allergies, or he had a panic attack. So he started making sure all the trashbins in the house were lined.

But he didn’t puke, which was a relief to both of them. Ballister helped Ambrosius stand up, and gently led him into the bedroom. He tucked him in his favorite blanket and his bottle of milk, and got in bed beside him.

The room was low noise, with the TV going on a low volume, the occasional flipping of pages from the book Ballister was reading, and the suckling noise from Ambrosius’ bottle.

Ballister smiled when he looked over to see his tiny one sound asleep, bottle nearly empty, which had fallen by his side. He gently took it and set it on the nightstand.

“Good night, Rosebud.”

And he drifted off to sleep himself.

[zardinthebrokenatlas]

~ Cuddles ~

I posted this to Wattpad a while ago, but I find it adorable :3 The borrower in this situation doesn't have a name so that they could be read as either male or female; whichever you prefer :3

~~~

  Rain was hitting against the window in front of me, yet it didn't sound harsh. It was a soft pattering of rain drops, which brought comfort. I was sat on the window ceil, sipping a small glass of hot cocoa admiring the rain fall against the window. I was a tiny now, sure, but it didn't bother me. It still had that cozy feeling.

  A few moments past as I continued to drink my coco before I finished it completely and set it to the side. The world was so different now that I was smaller.. Everything was so much larger than myself that it was overwhelming at times.. but in moments like these, it was comforting.

  Slowly, I felt my eyes begin to close and I began to drift off.

  "Falling asleep are we?" A voice startled me out of my sleepy stage and I twirled my head around to see my friend, Miles behind me. I flashed him a smile before he gently wrapped a small blanket around my shoulders.

  "A little.. It's been a long day." I explained, gripping the edges of the blanket to snuggle into it as Miles leaned down, resting his arms on the window ceil behind me. I threw the blanket over my head as well, like a cloak.

  "Are you wanting to head to bed early tonight?" He asked as he ran a finger down my back, then gently rubbing in circles.

  "Ahh.. I mean yes, but at the same time not really." I said through a yawn. He just chuckled at my response before standing straight once more and gently scooping me up off the window ceil.

  "You're adorable."

Instantly my face was flushed and I couldn't help but look away .

  He chuckled slightly before using a finger to tilt my head toward his direction. A slight smile rested on his face as his eyes bore down on me. It was only moments later that he then lifted me up closer to his face, gently planting a kiss a top my head.

  I lost my ability to react or speak or really anything but breathe.

  He just kissed me..

  That hadn't ever happened before. 

  "What was that for-?" I asked as Miles sat on the bed, gently lowering me to one of the pillows.

  "What? Didn't like it?" 

  "It's not that -" My words felt like they were doing cartwheels right alongside my heart and my brain. He turned to me with a furrowed eyebrow, getting under the covers.

  "It was so random I guess.." I muttered sheepishly, finding it difficult to maintain eye contact. Miles' smile softened as did his whole expression.

  "Nah. It's not random if you think about it." He started, reaching for me. "You're so oblivious sometimes."

  His hand wrapped around my waist and he pulled me closer to him, near enough for his breath to brush through my hair.

  "I love you, you do realize this correct?" Miles spoke softly. 

  My heart skipped a beat at those words. Was I really that oblivious?

  "Even before I was this small?" I asked. Those butterfly feelings were still present but they began to slowly drift off, being replaced with a feeling of comfort and safety.

  "Way before." 

[prettywhenibleed]

𝕾𝖙𝖊𝖆𝖑 𝖄𝖔𝖚 𝕬𝖜𝖆𝖞 (Steal You Away)

Fem!Reader x Dwayne

TW: Kidnapping

So I started this a bit ago and have now decided to post it here. Will be one or two more parts but I don’t know when they will be posted as I haven’t written them yet.

From the very first moment that Dwayne saw you, he knew that you were his mate. He also knew that he would steal you away but first, he had to prepare. For weeks he fixed up a room in the cave for you. Filling it with furniture and trinkets that he hoped you would like. When he wasn’t busy working away on your nest, he watched you. He had followed you home that first night, finding out where you lived, and would spend countless hours watching you. When you would venture out and onto the boardwalk, he was never too far behind. He watched over you like a hawk. Protective and shielding. If anyone dare say or do anything to you that you, or he, didn’t like, they were made a meal. Dwayne would go into your nest and lay on your bed, rubbing his scent onto the various cushions and blankets. He wanted your nest to smell like him, he wanted YOU to smell like him.. 

FINALLY, after a long and agonizing month of waiting, it was time. The moment the sun had set, he was out and on his way to your house. Dwayne watched and waited for you to leave your house and make your way to the boardwalk. He knew that, since you always walked there, not living too far away, there would be a stretch of road that would give him the perfect opportunity to take you. As you walked down the road, he followed close behind you. Dwayne was getting antsy with anticipation and could barely control himself but finally, you had gotten to that perfect stretch and that’s where he struck. You didn’t even have time to register what was happening until it was too late. 

You awoke in a very unfamiliar room. Sitting up, you realized that you were on a bed. You looked around the room, trying to figure out where you were. The only light you had, was coming from some candles that were scattered around the room. The walls looked to be made of stone, the ceiling and floor too. Were you in a ….cave? You slowly slid yourself off of the bed and walked around the room. Along with the bed, there was a dresser, vanity, two nightstands and a few bookshelves. All of them looked as though they could be a hundred years old. You ran your fingers along the spines of the books that were on the shelves, humming silent approval as you read off a few titles in your head. Moving along, you looked at all the trinkets that were placed all around the room. You didn’t know what was going on, where you were or what you were even doing here.

The crunching of loose gravel under feet broke you from your thoughts. Quickly spinning around, you face the direction in which the noise came from. There in the ‘doorway’, which was just a curtain hung over a large opening, stood a guy. He was tall, had long dark brown hair and the most beautiful brown eyes you had ever seen. He wore a jacket but had no shirt on underneath it. Your heart skipped a beat, whether it was from fear or how beautiful he was, you didn’t know. You stood frozen to your spot, not daring to move, though you could still manage to get some words out. “W-where am I? Who are you?” You asked him. Dwayne moved further into the room, making you want to step back to keep some distance between you and him, but you couldn’t get your feet to cooperate. “You’re home y/n. My name is Dwayne, I’m your mate.” He said to you. You felt your blood run cold. Oh god. He’s kidnapped you and he’s insane. You shook your head. “No.. yo- what? Please, don’t-” You stuttered out as tears began to fall from your eyes. “Shhh, princess. It’s okay, don’t cry.” He cooed to you as he moved closer, reaching a hand to your cheek and rubbing it with his thumb, trying to sooth you. Oddly enough, it actually worked.

You felt yourself relax under his touch. He smiled at you as he felt you relax. He was so happy that you reacted to his touch like this. You didn’t know what to say or do. You wanted to cry, but you also wanted to lean more into Dwayne’s touch and chase the relaxing feeling that he gave you when he touched you. “You need to rest.” Dwayne spoke up. You moved your eyes to look at him, his eyes capturing yours as soon as you looked into them. “I’m sorry, princess. I know this is a lot but just know, I would never hurt you.” He said to you before kissing your forehead and whispering a goodnight to you, leaving after that. Despite the way he made you feel when he touched you, you didn’t want to be here. You were forced to be here and you are now being forced to stay. You stayed still, standing in place for a few minutes before you practically collapsed to the ground. You felt as the tears fell from your eyes as the sobs that you didn’t even know you were holding back, wracked your body. You just wanted to go home. You crawled back into the bed, curling in on yourself and cried yourself to sleep. Dwayne felt his heart break as he listened to the sound of you crying. He didn’t want you to be sad, he loved you. Maybe the longer you stayed and the more you got to know him, the happier you would get.

For the next couple of weeks, Dwayne listened to the sound of you cry yourself to sleep every night. You never spoke a word to him again, after that first night. He was devastated, sad and frustrated. Why couldn’t you just be happy to be with him? You are his mate. Though he knew that you were still a human and he kidnapped you. You have every right to be sad and not talk to him. Dwayne was absolutely devastated but he at least understood more about why you would be acting like this.

For the next month, Dwayne would bring you things daily. Any little or big thing that he thought you might like, that might make you happy, he brought to your nest. It was almost as if he was leaving you offerings or something like that. You would watch him as he came in, left whatever it was that he had and leave again. Occasionally, he would try to talk to you when he brought you things, but you never answered him. As time went on, you started to feel kind of guilty for not talking to him. He honestly wasn't that bad, he was actually really nice and kind and sweet to you. He brought you things to try and cheer you up, brought you food and water. He took care of you. If you had met him in a normal way, you would have most likely dated him but you just couldn’t quite get past him kidnapping you and not letting you leave. 

As you laid on your bed, curled in on yourself, you heard someone come into the room. Knowing it was Dwayne, you waited for him to leave whatever it was that he had and leave but instead, you felt the bed dip. That made your heart start to beat faster. “It’s okay, princess. I just want to talk. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” Dwayne quietly said to you. You could hear the sadness in his voice and it broke your heart. “I just wanted to lay here and talk to you for a bit, if that’s okay.” Dwayne said hopefully. I suppose it couldn’t hurt to let him just lay here and talk, right. You slowly nodded your head. You then felt him lay down behind you, not touching you, and he started talking. He didn’t talk about any one thing in particular, just talked. You found his voice soothing and before you knew it, you had fallen asleep.

For the first night since he had brought you to the cave, you hadn’t cried yourself to sleep. Dwayne laid there and just watched you sleep, cherishing this time that he had with you. Eventually, you rolled over in your sleep, so you were now facing him. Dwayne reached forward and gingerly brushed the hair that had fallen over your face, behind your ear so he could see your face more clearly. You looked so beautiful, peaceful and calm as you slept. He couldn’t help but brush his knuckles along your soft, warm skin. Dwayne’s movements froze as you stirred in your sleep. He felt as if his heart almost started beating again when you moved in closer to him, cuddling up to him. When he reacted by wrapping his arms around you, you relaxed and let out a content sigh. Dwayne spent the rest of the night holding you in his arms, cherishing finally being able to hold his mate. He knew that you only did it because you were asleep, not knowing what you were doing, but he didn’t care, he would take what he could get. He regretted having to let you go when the sun started to rise. 

You woke up the next night feeling like you had had the best night's sleep in years. You had honestly never slept that well before. You had a fuzzy memory of Dwayne coming into your room, laying down next to you and talking to you, but that’s it. As the night went on, you started feeling horrible for the way you had been treating Dwayne. It’s not like you were ignoring him but you weren’t exactly being nice either, always staying silent when he spoke to you. You had been awake for a few hours now and you were starting to get hungry. As if reading your mind, Dwayne walked in with some food. “Morning. Here, I figured you would be hungry by now.” He said as he placed the food down on the bed in front of you. He turned to leave but you stopped him. “Dwayne.” You said, your voice coming out quieter than you expected, from not talking for so long. Dwayne froze. He couldn’t believe it, you had finally spoken to him. After almost two whole months of not hearing your voice, there it was. He turned around, a soft smile on his face. “Yes, princess?” He asked, craving to hear more of your sweet voice. “Can you stay?” You asked him shyly. 

Dwayne couldn’t believe his luck. Not only had you just spoken to him again but you wanted him to stay with you as you ate. You WANTED his company. You REQUESTED it. He couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face as he watched you. He watched you as you ate, his face bright with happiness and love. You looked over at him a few times to see that he was watching you intently and you would immediately look back down at your food. You could feel your face heat up as he continued to stare. “Umm…. Do you want some?” You slowly asked, holding out your hand and offering him some of the food you had. Dwayne gave you a sweet smile and accepted. “Thank you.” He said, practically giving you heart eyes. You were offering him some of your food and he thought it was so sweet. You and Dwayne made small conversation as you ate the rest of your food, continuing to offer him some as well. By the time you had finished, you had felt yourself begin to feel so much more comfortable around him. 

Dwayne took the rubbish from your food and got rid of it, taking it out of the room. When he was out of sight, you felt a strange sense of loss. Only now did you really start to realize that the only time you felt at all calm, was in his presence. Maybe that’s why you had fallen asleep so easily last night. Dwayne walked back into the room but stopped short of your bed. He wasn’t sure if you still wanted him in here or not. You looked at Dwayne for a moment before deciding to ask him something that you weren’t sure what his reaction might be. “Dwayne. Can I. Can I go outside? Please?” You carefully asked him. You watched as he stood there in thought for a few moments. Dwayne wasn’t sure if he should let you go outside but he knew that you would ask this eventually. He just didn’t want you to try to run away, even though he would easily catch you if you did. “Okay.” Dwayne said as he moved to the side, away from the door. You haven’t left your room in almost two months, not that Dwayne wouldn’t let you leave the room. In fact, you were free to roam most of the cave, you just never did.

Standing up from the bed, you slowly began to make your way to the door. Moving the curtain to the side, you walked through, though you stopped when you realized that Dwayne wasn’t following you. You turned back to him. “Aren’t you coming?” You asked him. Dwayne gave you a confused look. “I thought you wanted to go outside on your own.” He admitted. He really didn’t think that you wanted him to go with you. He even thought that maybe this was all a ruse to try and escape. “I want you to come with me. I would feel safer if you did.” You told him truthfully. You really would feel safer if Dwayne went with you. You didn’t know what was out there, you didn’t even really know where exactly THERE was. Dwayne’s heart swelled when you told him you WANTED him to go with you. That you would feel SAFE with him. He moved quickly over to you and the two of you made your way out of the cave. 

Once you reached the old wooden staircase and took your first couple of steps up it, you felt it creak and slightly move beneath you. You instinctively grabbed a hold of Dwayne’s arm, making sure you wouldn’t fall through. You didn’t know how old these steps were. Again, a swelling filled Dwayne’s chest. Every second you held onto him, he cherished it as though it would be the last time. “Don’t worry, princess. You won’t fall. I’ve got you.” He reassured you as he took your hand into his, giving you a smile. You felt a jolt of electricity run through your hand, making its way up your arm and into your chest where it rested. The feel of his skin touching yours felt so right. His hand holding yours made any worries that you previously had, melt away. You looked into his eyes and all you saw in them was pure love. “Okay.” You said. 

You and Dwayne made your way up the stairs and up to the top of the cliff. Even though you were now safely off the stairs, you didn’t let go of Dwayne’s hand. You closed your eyes, took in a deep breath and enjoyed the feeling of the wind on your face and in your hair. God it had been so long since you had been outside. It felt so nice. Dwayne stood there beside you, watching you as you enjoyed being outside. It did make him feel a little guilty about keeping you in the cave for so long. Though right now, he couldn’t let himself care about that. He just wanted to relish in the fact that, despite making it up and off of the stairs, you still hadn’t let go of his hand. He hoped that the two of you would have more and more moments like this. He hoped that soon, you would accept him as your mate. 

After a few minutes, you looked up at Dwayne. “Could we go for a walk please, Dwayne?” You asked him, hoping that he will say yes. Dwayne smiled down at you and nodded his head. “Of course we can.” He told you. As you and Dwayne walked down the path, you unconsciously moved closer to him, eventually holding onto his arm with your other hand, so you were now holding his hand and his arm. Dwayne was hyper aware of every move you made, hoping that you would continue, wanting nothing more than to have you curled up into him as he wrapped his arms around you. But he would settle for this for now. You and Dwayne walked around for quite some time. It was nice, peaceful and relaxing. “Dwayne?” You said, catching his attention. He looked down at you as the both of you continued to walk. “Yes, princess?” He said. “Could you tell me more about, you know… The whole vampire and mate thing?” You asked him. You wanted to know more about it because it clearly involved you. The first night you were here, he had told you that you were his mate and that he, along with his brothers, were vampires. 

Dwayne agreed and spent the next half an hour or so, explaining everything, with you asking questions every now and then. Dwayne was thoroughly enjoying spending this time with you and telling you about what he was and, more importantly, what you were to him. You seemed to be receptive to what he was telling you, he just hoped that you would just accept it all. Accept him. After being out for a couple of hours, you and Dwayne made your way back to the cave and back to your nest. You sat down on your bed and watched as Dwayne stood at the door. “I uhh. I have to go out for a bit but I’ll be back later.” He told you. It took you a moment to realize what he must have meant. You went from giving him a confused look, to a look of ‘oooh’. You nodded to him. “Okay.” And with that, he left, but not before telling you that he really enjoyed spending time with you tonight, which made you blush. 

Over the next few weeks, you had begun to open up to Dwayne more. You and him would sit in your nest every night and talk, him leaving for an hour or two halfway through the night to feed. Recently, you had realized that you had fallen in love with Dwayne. Though, you weren’t exactly able to pinpoint WHEN it happened. You had been wondering whether or not it was just Stockholm Syndrome but you also realized that, at this point, you didn’t care. All you knew was, you loved Dwayne and you had to figure out a way to tell him. 

Spam liking without reblogging = blocked

[theglasscat]

20 Questions for Writers

Tagged by @jennyandvastraflint

I love these things because I love talking about fan-fic

1. How many works do you have on A03?

I have 45.

2. What is your A03 word count?

162, 874. Jesus only that?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Doctor Who but specifically The Paternoster Gange sub-fandom, Oz books, Steven Universe, The Owl House, The Dark Crystal extended universe. In high school I was really into Hellboy II.

4. What are your top 5 fics by Kudos?

1. In the Night We Trust ~ It was a week out from Eda's Requiem and I'm from SU fandom so I was shocked that there was yet to be smut about the two pining grown ass adults and apparently other fans felt this way too.

2. I Thought Maybe We Would Kiss Tonight ~ This one is also horny and about the same characters so the Kudos tracks.

3. Words - My Vastra/Jenny soulmate au. Good. I'm proud of this one.

4. Blankets ~ This one??? The first time I tried to write using my senses.

5. Courting Miss Flint ~ THIS ONE??? I had a crush on a friend in college and didn't know how to act on it. This story about violently anxious women is never going to be finished.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Sometimes, if there's enough to reply to. "Nice work!" I'll forget about probably even though I appreciate it, however "I like how you blah blah blah" will get something from me because I love talking process.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uuuuhhhh. Of the ones I like, We Speak Our Vows and Sorry Whispers which is the Tavronica wedding fic.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Blackberry Stone will be I just need to finish it I swear I will finish it

8. Do you get hate on fics?

If I have I am not aware of it. At the time of my life when it would have hurt me the most I was oblivious to it and now it's just like "whatever, I'm not in charge of other people's feelings". On a side note this morning I realized I react to the word "cringe" in much the same vein as those tiktoks about Americans unable to take British gangsters with any seriousness.

9. Do you write smut? If so which kind?

Yes but I don't post as much as I'd like. I don't like to post smut for the sake of it even if I love when others do. I need it to be in character and have something to say about the characters.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest crossover you've ever written?

In general I despise reading crossovers. I will almost always skip unless I really like the author or I'm desperate for more of a character or rare pair.

By most insane do you mean meticulous like my Gentleman Jack/Doctor Who crossover "Never Meet Your Heroes" in which BBC's singular blue waistcoat for leading Victorian lesbians gets referenced?

Or least likely to crossover as in Wonder Woman 2017 and Pat Gang fic in which Etta gets some sword advice from some local spinsters on the eve of The Great War. It's called "Protect it With Your Life".

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of, but I wouldn't be surprised if my work has been farmed to sit in the belly of some great AI beast somewhere.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware of. If it has I can't think of the example at the moment.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No but I feel if I did I would just tweak the co-author's grammar and characterization and do nothing else. I take so long to write my own fic, I couldn't be accountable to handle another's work in a timely fashion.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

AU Dorzma. The rest are tardigrades being subjected to various violent science experiments.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Vastra/Jenny laundromat AU. I'm better at Victorian commentary than contemporary commentary.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Sensory writing. Keeping things in character.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Starting with a plot instead of a feeling

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't do this really but I'm a fan of using the << >>

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Coin toss for the original Oz books or Syfy's Tin Man (2007) when I was 13. Both were Scarecrow/Patchwork Girl.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I Keep My Hands, 'Til You Come Into the Water ~ Missing Tavra and Onica and Tae scenes from J.M. Lee's The Dark Crystal Flames of Resistance which is so hyper specific but this is the one I like the most. It came out as I envisioned and wanted it with hardly any typos.

Tagging: @jeejyboard @ragdoll-ren @leiathewarrior @spaceuber @nabatute and anyone else who'd like to do this and of course you don't have to if you don't want to.

[laceratedlamiaceae]

As a sort of companion to my "every time Izzy fails at something, it's because of Stede" post, I want to talk about how pretty much every bad thing he does is out of a (very misguided) sense of duty to Ed, and I want to talk about why that matters. As a warning, I will be (briefly) mentioning the Toe Thing™ so skip the last paragraph if you're sick of people talking about that.

The only exceptions are taking Stede's hostages, which seems like a normal pirate thing, and bullying Lucius (which I'm not going to defend, but like... if I was stuck somewhere with a bunch of annoying people and the one person I liked was ignoring me in favor of someone I hated I would probably do some fucked up shit too).

Izzy challenges Stede to the duel because he thinks he needs to help Ed with his plot to kill Stede. Ed tells him "we're not doing this," but Izzy clearly took that to mean that Ed just didn't feel like killing Stede because he responds "No, you're not doing this, so I must." (I can't find it now, but I read a post about how awful Izzy and Ed are at communicating with each other, and this is a good example of that). Obviously they should have just talked about it (which Ed even points out later), but talking is hard and stabbing is easy.

Izzy sells Stede out to the British because he thinks that Stede's "done something to my boss' brain." He doesn't realize Ed is just happy and expressing a real part of himself; I doubt he would even know what happiness looks like. He thinks that Stede has driven Ed (who he already thinks is "half insane") fully off the deep end, and so he arranges for Stede to be killed because, from his point of view, it's the only way to save Ed from the man who's ruining him. (I've seen a few takes that he sells both Ed and Stede out, which just isn't true; he sends Calico Jack to get Ed away, and when that fails he convinces the British to let Ed go in return for giving them Stede).

Izzy confronts Ed in episode 10 because he thinks Ed has fully lost it and he needs to pick up the pieces. I've seen a lot of different takes on what exactly was going on with Ed in that episode, and while I don't really agree with the idea that he was getting better before Izzy confronted him, it doesn't matter what was actually happening. From Izzy's perspective, Ed has completely given up on being Blackbeard and just wants to fuck around singing songs all day. I think it's worth noting that Izzy didn't do anything while Ed was hiding out in the blanket fort; he knows the Ed beneath the Blackbeard edifice and he only has a problem when Ed starts making it public. Obviously it would be better for Ed to express himself and explore his identity, but this is Izzy; doesn't know anything about what's emotionally healthy. So instead, he says the things he says. (seriously, just read the linked post; it does a way better job breaking down that scene than I could).

I bring all this up because I want to make a point about one of the reasons he's such a divisive character. I think a lot of the Discourse™ about Izzy gets so heated because it's about a deeper philosophical conflict. Maybe I'm way off base, but I imagine a lot of Izzy apologists (such as myself) are the type to take intentions into account (in philosophy terms, deontology or virtue ethics), and Izzy's intentions are mostly good (towards Ed, obviously he's fine with Stede dying). I'd guess that most people who don't like Izzy lean more towards consequentialism: they don't care what he intended; all that matters is that his actions hurt people.

Hopefully looking at all the Izzy Discourse™ from the perspective that it's about moral philosophy can help people understand the other side; I know I started to get where all the Izzy haters were coming from when I considered his actions from a consequentialist point of view. I still don't really agree with them, but I do now think their view is (in general, obviously some people are way off base) valid.

I really don't want to involve myself in the current discourse, but I think it's worth noting that this is part of the reason why some people see the Toe Thing™ as so much worse than anything Izzy did. Ed did that to hurt Izzy and reassert his control, which is a way less sympathetic intention than "I wanted my boss to be happy but I'm an idiot who's really wrong about what makes him happy." Whether or not that matters depends on your feelings about consequentialism.