#i stayed up way later than i should have writing this LOL oh well

[coeurify]

LACY, OH LACY

ellie williams.

·˚ ༘ * “like ribbons in your hair, my stomach’s all in knots. you got the one thing that i want."

pairing: ellie williams x f!reader. summary: you’ve got the one thing ellie wants, and it’s rotting her thoughts of you. based on lacy by olivia rodrigo. warning: my first go at true angst, but a happy ending! i took a much sadder direction with the song lol. reader is described as having a father figure. looks of reader never described beside that there’s ribbons in their hair. they/them pronouns used. for a GUTS writing challenge in writing server!

Envy was a nasty thing. Ellie knew that. Ellie knew that the way her lip curled down upon the sight of your frame disappearing into the Tipsy Bison in Jackson was unfair.

Ellie knew that the way her body tensed whenever you were followed quickly by an older man, one who grumbled and wiped at his sleepy eyes, wasn’t fair. The way she turned on her heel and walked away each time she saw you two, the pebbles under the toe of her converse being kicked away, that wasn’t fair either.

But god, did it tie her stomach in tiny little knots, ones that made it hard to swallow, hard to look away when your shining eyes met her’s across the street somedays.

Sometimes, she tries to blame it on sleep. She tells herself the angry feeling bubbling in her stomach is simply a result of the sleepless nights. Of the shaking and panting breaths that shoot from her as she awakes from another never ending nightmare.

But most days, she realizes it’s only an excuse. This sick feeling is reserved only for you, and Ellie wishes she could swallow it down like a shot, but it instead pools in her mouth, poisoning her movements, her thoughts, her everything around you.

When you smile the smile Ellie knew all too well, It only made her feel worse. It shouldn’t, really, Ellie should quirk her lips up in response, wave you over maybe. Joel would have insisted. But lately she just raised a hand in a softer, colder response before finding a new corner to escape down.

Hell, if Joel was here, if things were different, he would have tilted his chin up knowingly when Ellie’s own chin jutted down at the sight of you, her cheeks painted pink with something akin to affection, rather than the near constant shade of frighteningly pale her face seemed to be lately.

He had done so a million times.

When Ellie was only a measly sixteen, telling Joel she just couldn't let you stay the night while Joel and your old man went on a particularly long patrol.

“I barely even know them!” Ellie had fought, her arms crossed over the quickly beating heart in her chest. She knew you, she knew you liked to wear ribbon in your hair, she knew your favorite color was blue because your favorite shoes were that color, and she knew you were pretty. So fucking pretty, the kind that made her stomach turn all mushy and gross when she tried to talk to you over the semi regular shared dinners Joel and a few other older men around town had insisted upon.

Joel just shook his head, seemingly fighting back one of those chuckles that made it sound like he knew something Ellie didn’t. Ellie hated when he did that. “You know them well enough, kid.” was all Joel had responded, patting Ellie’s slumped back.

Joel did it when you coaxed Ellie out of her little garage for dinner inside of Joel’s, a few years later. He would never say anything, not when he could barely get Ellie to say hello anymore, but a look was all that was needed. Green meeting a more tired looking brown for just a split second, and Ellie knew. Joel saw right through the nervous looks Ellie threw your way, saw through how Ellie insisted on totally platonically complimenting you every time you walked through the door. Ellie’s knees were always pointed your way at the table, and Joel always saw.

“They’re pretty,” Joel said later that night, voice careful as he watched Ellie, who watched the dishes she silently cleaned off the table. “Sweet too, too sweet for a hell like this.” Joel could barely finish the words before he heard the creak of the door, before the house was quiet again.

The last time you were brought up, Ellie remembers being cold. She’s often cold now, but the night on the porch was one of the first truly cold nights in Jackson. It stung her nose while she walked outside of the Tipsy Bison, leaving a crowd of shocked faces.

She felt stupid, so stupid that it made the wind feel even icier against her skin. God, why did she have to dance with Dina? Her eyes had been settled on you all fucking night, but Dina was always a firecracker, always tugging Ellie to dance or talk loudly at the bar top. Ellie couldn’t stop heaving as she slammed the door. Did you think they were together too? Did you think Dina was leaning in to kiss her like Seth thought? Dina wasn’t. Ellie wanted to tell you that as soon as Dina’s lips came to her ear, “They’re watching, El.”

But Seth broke the dance before Ellie could. Joel only made it worse in Ellie eyes, and yet you still followed her out the building.

Of course you did.

“Ellie,” she remembers you saying so softly, as if she might break if you had raised your voice even a little. Maybe she would have, she was a fragile thing that night, something easily crushed in your hands. Hands that had been gripped by yours outside the Bar that night.

You were the only one who didn’t look at her like she had two heads after the Seth incident, after her face had gone red at the sight of Joel. Her harsh words to the older man didn’t scare you away, didn’t make you crumble her between your finger tips.

“You should talk to him.” Your breath hit her face, the only warmth in that fucking air, and ellie remembers smelling something that was just as delicate as a pastry, maybe a perfume your father found on a patrol, maybe just you.

You cared. Something Ellie had convinced herself otherwise of, something that didn’t make sense in her mind. Why did you have any worry about she and Joel? How did it concern you at all? But it did, and Ellie listened to you.

Ellie walked up that frosted porch, arms swinging nervously, searching for space on the wooden railing. Ellie let Joel join her, let him ask about you.

“You like them?” Joel’s hands cupped his coffee, his head tilted Ellie’s way.

Ellie remembers so vividly how she turned away, tucking her chin near her shoulder. “I’m so stupid.”

Ellie could see how Joel’s head shook lightly, “You ain’t. They’d be lucky to have you.”

Ellie wishes she answered him that night, wishes she would have sat back on the porch, wishes she didn’t call him an asshole. Ellie wishes a lot of things about that night. Maybe she would have hugged him, if she had known. Maybe she would have started that conversation with forgiveness, rather than a hint of it, thrown at the end of her scrambled words, swallowed by her eyes she willed not to cry.

Ellie wishes for a lot of things, but she knows it’s useless.

Just as useless as avoiding you, now.

You had worn a black ribbon in your hair, the day of Joel’s burial. You had hugged Ellie so tightly, and Ellie almost could feel the heartbeat she swore she lost.

“I’m so sorry,” you had blubbered into her solid frame, and she almost tucked her nose into the skin of your neck, almost let the scent of your perfume calm her. But she just thanked you, pulled back and wiped one of her shaking thumbs over your tear streaked face. She was wiping your tears that day, and somehow it felt like the only right thing to do.

But Ellie remembers that day for another reason. It had been the first day she noticed the sick feeling in her stomach. The first time the hue of pink that always clouded her vision around you was dusted green instead, jealousy clawing at her throat.

She hated it. She hated how she couldn’t look away from where you slumped against your father’s chest. How his hand rubbed your shaking back as his breath puffed out in cold little clouds.

She hated how it reminded her of him.

Ellie stood alone, and watched on, feeling the tightening green branches of whatever awfulness was growing in the pit of her stomach. She cursed whatever it was laying above space, she dug the ball of her feet into the freezing grass and she cursed the earth for leaving her here to have to see this.

She walked home alone that night, shrugging you off with a rather monotone, “Go home, don’t worry about me,” when your eyes met hers in the cold air. She saw how you deflated lightly, saw how your eyes dropped to the ground. It made her feel more nauseous. She swallowed her feelings, the good and the bad, and wrapped her arms around herself as she turned.

That night Ellie veered away from her garage, finding comfort instead on the old couch that sat in Joel’s living room, and she thinks it may be the quietest place she has ever heard. She wonders what you may be doing. Was the creaking of the walls all you heard in your Jackson home too? Surely you hadn’t ripped an old and faded jacket from a closet that did not belong to you to use as a makeshift blanket, like Ellie had.

No, Ellie is sure your father walked close to you all the way home, sure he pulled out the chair at the kitchen table for you and offered you dinner, she’s even sure he had managed to crack a smile from you.

Ellie goes to sleep with a sick stomach.

“You're jealous, that’s natural,” Dina told her a few weeks later, after another stint of that awful green vine rooting itself in Ellie, one that kept her from taking you up on an offer to help clean up Shimmer. The growing seed that made her shake her head at you and offer a small and untruthful, “Don’t need any help.”

Dina handed Ellie a cup of warm tea in the cold garage. Ellie wouldn’t drink it, and she also wouldn’t eat any of the meals the Jackson residents left at her doorstep. But everyone still tried.

“But I shouldn’t be,” Ellie’s voice didn’t sound like her own. It was void of any vibrancy, any spark that Ellie’s tongue usually made. It was empty, spoken coldly. cold for herself, cold for that feeling in her chest.

“You’re grieving, El, it’s ok.”

Dina pressed a kind hand to her shoulder, and despite the way Ellie poisoned you in her mind, she still found herself wishing it was yours instead.

And now, more weeks that all pressed confusingly together had passed. The flower’s outside Joel’s were covered by snow, wilted and drained of life. His house had been empty since Ellie stole some of his old clothes a week back, a jacket that embarrassingly laid on the edge of her chair as she swung open the door of her garage turned home, glancing at another container on her doormat.

It was from you, of course it was. Ellie was sure you had been sent from some sort of heaven she was far too damned to ever access. A small note held your handwriting, and Ellie leaned down, grasping the food, the warmth burning at her frozen fingers.

Maria said she didn't see you at supply day again. I think you’d like this. I remember you eating it a lot at the dinners.

ps. you’re doing great in patrols, glad you went back to them. you’re one of the best jackson has.

xx.

A strand of auburn hair fell across her cheek as her chin dipped down, eyelashes tickling her skin as they closed.

Ellie was avoiding you, you had to have known that. Jesse knew it, Dina knew it, hell, even Tommy had commented on it last time he came by. Sure, Ellie was avoiding nearly everyone still, but it was no secret she turned the corner whenever you and your old man were around.

But here you were, making her food, leaving her notes of praise, complimenting her as if you had any need to. It made Ellie’s always down pointed lip quiver for a moment. You still fucking cared. Just like always.

It didn’t feel nice, it didn’t feel like how it would’ve if she got this note months ago. Then she would’ve clapped a hand over her heated cheek, stuffed it under a notebook like a kid with a crush.

But now, it felt more like an ache. A burning in her chest that made her push the door back open and slide the container on the waiting table near her door.

She should eat it later, that would be the kind thing to do. But the little voice whispers in Ellie’s ear again, the voice that drips poison over the thankfulness blossoming in her chest, ‘You think he helped them make that?’ the voice asked.

The palm of her hand pressed to her eyes as she leaned on the doorway, “Fuck.” Ellie muttered.

She kicked the wood, “Fuck!”

Ellie slammed her already bruised fist on the cracked wood and yelped. The splitting pain broke the girl from her mini temper tantrum, and the empty hand cupped the throbbing skin, a pair of teeth sinking into her bottom lip.

Surely this wasn’t a normal way to react to something so kind, something as simple as food. She didn’t have to overthink every small thing, didn’t have to let her brain flip every positive to a negative, but how does Ellie stop what she has grown so accustomed to?

Ellie’s first attempt to rid her chest of the vines that constricted her ribs was a deep breath and a squeeze of her eyes. She pretends she can smell your perfume still lingering in the air, she imagines your cheeks turned up in a smile, she wonders what color of ribbon you found this week to turn into some new hair tool, and then she exhaled.

Maybe if she thought hard enough, the vines would retreat, the ache on her bones would feel more like the silk of your touch. Maybe she can let herself care more about what you give her, kindness, food, those stupid butterflies she used to feel whenever you spoke, that set of pastel oil paints from a year ago. Rather than letting that voice remind her of all the things you could not give her, things you could not repair.

You hadn’t taken Joel from her, your old man hadn’t either. You having that.. having him, it wouldn’t make any of what Ellie was going through change. She swallowed the truth down like nails as she turned away from the garage.

When Ellie opens her eyes again, her vision seems a little more bright.

By the time Ellie winds up at the stable, she is pressed closely by Dina who tends to Japan, brushing quietly

Ellie breaks the silence first, and it surprises both when the first word from her mouth is your name.

Dina’s gaze shoots over, and Ellie can almost see the thin ice she is debating stepping on, lips parting. You were never an easy topic, and usually when El uttered the syllables of your name, Dina was in for a long and drawn out conversation she never knew truly how to maneuver, the conversation layered with every confusing feeling Ellie had for you. The guilt, the jealousy. Everything in between.

Ellie beats her to speaking again, “They left me food again today. I woke up to it.”

Dina nods slowly, eyes falling back to her horse. “That’s nice of them.”

“It is,” Ellie agrees, flexing her bruising knuckles. “Left a note too, complimenting me and shit.”

The brunette to the side of her pauses for a moment, her boots turning in lightly as she judged her next step. “If you had told me this a year ago, I think you would’ve blabbered for like.. forty minutes about how they were ‘the greatest thing ever to exist’ or convinced me it meant they were in love with you.”

The air is silent, and Dina thinks she may have overstepped.

But the vines have taken on a softer sort of squeezing on Ellie’s chest now, one that felt like the ribbon you wore.

“Yea,” she smiled lightly, and Dina stumbled a bit, maybe out of pure shock. “Yea I probably would have.”

The silence finds them again, though there’s no thickness to it, and Ellie finds her heavy shoulders just slightly less pained for a moment.

Until the stable door swings open, and Ellie watches as Dina’s head turns. She can tell from the look on her face alone, on the way she blinks a few times and glances at Ellie.

You had just walked through.

You walk by where Japan and Shimmer stood, and you smiled like you always did.

This time, Ellie’s chest only tightened lightly. She only felt the small tug of ribbon when she recognized the flannel you had pushed up to your elbows, one she had seen your father wear on patrols many times.

This time, Ellie tries to smile back. She doesn’t let that burn find her stomach, doesn’t let the voice sneer at the clothing and remind Ellie of what she did not have. This time, Ellie speaks instead.

“Thanks for the food.”

You look almost as nervous as Ellie feels. You probably didn’t expect responses by this point.

“Oh it’s no problem,” you shake your head and smile. “Hope you enjoy it.”

Ellie nods, tensing up, useless to decide where this conversation should go, where it could go.

Just as the branches begin to curl around her lungs again, Dina cuts them down with her voice.

“El and I thought about sharing it after patrol today, maybe over some shitty movie. You in?”

The auburn haired girl shoots an aimed look at Dina, but the way you light up and step closer, the way she can smell that pastry scent again, it calms her lightly.

“It’ll be fun,” Ellie offered, voice cracking toward the end.

“Yea,” you smile, toes bouncing like they did when you were excited. Toes covered by your favorite shade of blue shoes. “I’d really like that.”

When you meet Ellie’s eyes, she can see pink instead of green again for the first time.

[cdbabymp3]

need to know what it's like when hamzahs high ... weird request??

𐙚faded ― hamzahthefantastic

summary: how i imagine hamzah would be high as well as w his gf ! these are just my own interpretations idk idk !

notes/warnings: sfw & slight nsfw !! (sections are marked) weed lol :3 NOT A WEIRD REQUEST AT ALL i was already planning on writing this

sfw

-he's a silly guy, but when he's high...

-soooo giggly and stupid dude

-this boy is laughing at damn near everything

"hamzah, what's so funny??"

"i forgot i was wearing pants for a second-UHHH AHAHAH... why do i wear these camo pants like every fuckin' day though? they should sponsor me, honestly. realtree or john deer .... i could run them a check, y'know?"

^he kinda just talks to himself 😭

-he's less uptight about certain things and you can tell

-normally if you guys come home and there's a bunch of dirty dishes or there's traffic on the way to a dinner date reservation he'll get quiet and stressed

-but when he's had a couple hits literally nothing matters lmao

-dirty dishes? whatever, he'll opt to watch a movie with you instead and do it later

-traffic? no biggie, he'll blast your shared playlist and sing every lyric at the top of his lungs

-he's way more needy when he's high, physically and emotionally

-grabs your hand to stay when you get up from the couch to go pee

-has definitely cried over the phone to you while high before bc he missed you :(

-since he's not an overly sappy person sober, when he's high it all sort of spills out

"i just love you, y/n, i love you so much. i feel like i never show you or say it enough but-fuck i do. i do i do i do..." and he'll kiss the entire surface area of your face until you have to pry him off of you to breathe

-the munchies after are actually insane ... a whole ass mukbang feast !! he's shirtless (beanie still on ofc) fucking up chicken sandwich after chicken sandwich and feeding you fries 💝

-likes to get high with you so much more than on his own

-he'll put on music and you guys will dance or lay on the floor and just spout the most personal, deep conversations

-you guys tried to hotbox in his car one time and martin complained about the smell for WEEKS so smoke sessions have been reserved to hamzah's living room and back patio since then

nsfw

-when he's high he fucks how he wishes he could when sober

-he's overall less anxious about satisfying you or not being good at what he's doing

-he lets loose for sure ...

-thinks he's being all rough (he's really not) but it's definitely different than his usual submissive tendencies

-since he's so in tune with his body when high, he's going inside you deep ... and slow ... so fucking slow ....

-he goes so deep to the point where you have to put a hand against his torso to stagger his thrusts

-sex when he's high is more for the feeling of doing it rather than finishing (for him at least, he always makes sure you finish<3)

-LOVES to shotgun the smoke into your mouth and give you a fat sloppy kiss afterwards

i hate how this turned out

oh well !! many more requests to get to 👩‍🍳

໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა taglist ; @forevergirlposts , @junebugin-july , @itgirlvirgo

(lmk if u wanna be added !!)

[xf-cases-solved]

S2E2: The Host 😔

Case: In what is an episode I have purposefully avoided rewatching for at least a decade—because it is DISGUSTING—we find ourselves off the coast of New Jersey, bc of course this hellscape of an episode takes place in fucking New Jersey. A Russian kid on a ship gets pulled into a septic tank (ew) by A Creature, and his body is discovered in a sewer (ew) a few days later. Skinner gives this case to Mulder, and Mulder is pissed about it, for which I don't blame him for a second bc it is, quite literally, shit work. (This does, however, lead to a very funny confrontation where Mulder throws a tantrum at Skinner, only to then discover he's currently in a meeting. I did lol at that, I'll admit.) 

Anyway, Mulder reluctantly continues with the case, secretly recruiting Scully on the side to do some autopsy(!!) work and to pick her brain for science, even though the bosses said they aren't allowed to sit next to each other in class anymore. The episode just gets worse and worse and fucking worse from there, when Scully discovers a flukeworm (ew) in the dead kid's body. More evidence continues to compile, soon making it clear that what they're dealing with is something much larger and much grosser than they could have ever anticipated. 

People keep walking around and getting covered in sewer water, making me want to scrub myself so clean all the skin comes off my body; a man coughs up a worm and it is Horrible; Deep Throat is gone, but it looks like he might have a successor (!!!); Mulder and Scully have a friend in the FBI, I wonder who it could be 🤔 (hint: he's bald); and Mulder briefly considers quitting, but somehow THIS fucking episode is the one that convinces him to stay. (Like, I get it, learning he has an ally in Skinner is all well and good or whatever, I GET IT, okay? But look. If my boss was claiming to be my ally and then forced me to chase after a giant man-eating sewer worm—requiring me to BE in the literal sewer in the process btw—I would quietly set my badge and gun down on my boss's desk, walk out the building, and get on the next flight to New Zealand. Fuuuuuuck that, and fuuuuuuck this episode.)

Does someone die in the cold open: Yes, and it is the worst way any person could possibly die.

Does Mulder present a slideshow: He no longer has anyone to present slideshows to. 😔

Does the evidence survive the investigation: If it did, they should fucking burn it.

Whodunit: ☹️ worm man ☹️

Convictions: Chris Carter, for the crime of writing this and then making it exist in the world where I had to watch it with my eyeballs and process its contents with my brain.

Did they solve it: Yes, I suppose they did, in the sense that they figured out what killed that guy, and had a semi-reasonable explanation for how the horrible monster worm was able to come to be. Whether or not the horrible monster worm is still out there being horrid and monstrous? Well, that part remains an X-File.

[how do i determine if a case is solved? check the scale here: x]

THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: Bleach. Pour it in your eyes and also over your whole entire body and forget any of this ever happened.

Oh, and also sponsored by this funny text I accidentally sent my sister:

***

General Total Stats:

(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)

Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 13 (first solve of the season. unfortunate that it had to be this)

Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, It's Me": 6 (told you it starts to go up rly fast)

Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 6

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 8 

Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 8

Total Number of Sexually Charged, Uncomfortably Intimate, and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 13 (nothing overt, but they did have a nice conversation together, and mulder said something to the effect of being able to work with scully was the only reason he could think to stay at the fbi at this point)

Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed On Screen: 4 (and there was a worm in the body ☹️)

Total Number of Times Scully Plays Doctor: 2

Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 16 (i was too grossed out watching this to properly appreciate it, but X has entered the chat!!!!! my favorite informant!!! i will get into more detail as to why as we make our way through the season, but eep!) 

Total Number of Times People Making Out in a Car Are Hurt or Killed: 2

Total Number of Times Someone Correctly Guesses a Password: 3 

Total Number of Nosebleeds: 4

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Tasted/Sniffed/Touched Something Questionable Without Following Proper Safety Procedures: 3 (you know what? i'm upping this stat. why did he go to the sewer in a suit???)

Total Number of Times Someone Says "Trust No One": 3 

Total Number of Times Someone Says "I Want to Believe": 3

Total Number of Times Someone Says "The Truth is Out There": 2

Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 8

Total Number of Maggie Scully Sightings: 1

Total Number of Lone Gunmen Sightings: 1

Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: 0 (but i can hear his slow approach...)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 9½ (of COURSE it's new jersey) 

Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 5 (unfortunately i paid attention to the whole thing ☹️)

[riddle-me-ri]

Hey this was me who wanted a whole fic for this scenario for the bottom line "go be pretty over there away from me" could u do it thank u

A/N: I’m writing this at like 4 am cause I can’t sleep, so if this goes down later tomorrow I'm heavily editing it rip but hey at least I get to practice writing for other rogues that pique my interest! I hope I do them justice. This is another shot of just my own generalized takes on them (albeit I've been watching BTAS again, so they may seem softer than normal rip), and still no Joker sorry not sorry and most of these ended up being fluffier than I intended oop. Special thanks to @like-rain-or-confetti for supporting my ramblings in the tags of my reblogs lol

Batman Rogues x Reader - Yes, You’re Pretty…Now GO AWAY

Edward Nygma/The Riddler:

It was ridiculous. 

Absolute nonsense. 

He was jotting down riddles and puzzle traps away in his journal. You were only a few feet away on the other edge of the couch. Your face glued to your computer screen. 

Everything was fine…until you started laughing. 

Your little giggles, and the sweet small smile that lingered after your giggle fit. The way your face’s natural glow was tinted by the blue of the screen…

Ludicrous, outrageous, unbelievable. 

“Y/N…”

“Hm?” 

“C-Could you perhaps take yourself…anywhere else but here?”

You scrunched up your eyebrows in confusion. “Uh…yeah I could, but I don’t want to. I want to stay here with you, Ed.”

“I…appreciate that, but it’s rather hard to focus.”

Your blinked and shook your head. What? “I’m not even talking to you, I’m only like three feet away from you!” You shot your hand up going from right to left, gesturing the distance between you and Edward. 

“Yes, yes, but y-you’re distracting…”

“How?” 

“You’re laughing, smiling, beaming…” Ed drifted from stern to swooning.

You couldn’t help but chuckle. You scooted closer to him on the couch, catching him off guard. 

“Eddie, are you saying I’m distracting you because…I’m pretty?” You grinned. 

Edward rolled his eyes. “Yes, beautiful even, so can you please go somewhere else?” 

You doubled down. “I don’t know sounds like a you problem…”

“Please Y/N!” 

“Okay, okay, just tell me again how beautiful I am…”

Oswald Cobblepot/The Penguin:

You were just helping Oswald out in his office. You enjoyed helping him stay organized. He may be a criminal but it was in organized crime.

Oswald was going over invoice statements and you were checking inventory for the lounge’s food and beverages. However, you were proving to be rather…distracting. 

Your legs were crossed, you leaned back in the leather office chair, slightly rocking yourself. You bit the end of your pen between your teeth while your eyes intently scanned the contents of the papers in front of you. 

The gentleman of crime found himself not thinking so gentleman thoughts about you. All previous work and tasks that needed to be done was slowly slipping out of his mind. 

He cleared his throat. “Uh, Y/N, dove…”

“Yes, Ozzie.” You looked up at him with a sweet smile. 

Oh, why’d you have to do that?!

“Uhh, do you think you can help the girls downstairs? I recall they needed some assistance with the new uniforms.”

You pursed your lips and furrowed your eyebrows. “Uh, that’s the first I heard. They seem to be getting along well with them, Oz.”

“That’s not what they told me earlier, love.”

“Oswald, I spoke to them and they said they were fine!” You insisted. 

Oswald cringed, clearly not taking the bait to leave. 

“Is there something else that’s wrong? Something bothering you?” You inquired. 

“Ah…it’s just me, love. Well, more you than me…” He scratched the back of his neck. 

“And how is it more me than you?” 

“Dove, you’re far too gorgeous, you always are, but more so now, and it’s distracting me,” Oz admitted.

Your eyes widened, but you felt your throat bubble up in soft chuckles. “I’m distracting you?”

Oz gave you a lopsided smile. “It’s the truth, love…I should be checking this numbers and adding and subtracting, but all I can think of is you…”

You felt your face warm up slightly, as a soft blush rose to your cheeks. “Ever the charmer, Oswald.” 

“It’s the truth, Y/N. Once I finish these papers, I’ll come get you, okay?”

“You better, Cobblepot!” You shot a finger at him, trying to act serious, but you both could tell you were only teasing him. 

Oswald laughed. “The sooner you leave the sooner I can get this done!”

You were halfway at the door when you looked over your shoulder. “You owe me, Ozzie!” 

Oz kept laughing, waving you off. “I’ll make it up, I promise!”  

Jonathan Crane/The Scarecrow:

This wasn’t right. 

It wasn’t fair. 

How can he resume his plans as the Master of Fear and the Lord of Despair when you’re sitting right there. 

You looked so cozy and warm. You were cuddled up in one of Jonathan’s old Gotham University hoodies and a long fleece blanker. You were reading one of your novels while he was on the other side of the room; recording certain chemical reactions, wrote down further hypothesis to test later for a new toxin. 

You assured him you wouldn’t say anything or bother him, you just wanted to be near him. Jonathan figured it would kill two birds with one stone, he can get work done and you two get to be near each other. 

However, you were still so enthralling and enchanting to the ex-professor. Seeing you so content in his presence. It made a warmth bloom in his heart he had never felt in a long time, he was sure he had long lost the capability to feel this warmth. This love, dare he say. 

“Uhh, Jonny…” You start. 

“Hm?” 

“Sweetheart, you’re staring…”

Jonathan immediately shook his head and blinked, as he broke whatever spell you unconsciously put him in. 

“Oh, um, I-I apologize…” Jonathan’s face slowly turned red at his cheeks and the tip of his nose. 

You giggled. “It’s fine, Jonny, do you want me to read in another room?”

Jonathan really didn’t want you to go, but he didn’t see himself really getting any work done. 

“I promise I’ll come join you soon, darling…but if…if you don’t mind?” 

You got up from your chair, giggling, wrapping yourself in the blanket and leaving your index finger in the pages of your book to mark your spot. You bent over and gave Jonathan a kiss on the cheek. 

“I don’t mind, Jonathan. Just don’t be too long, okay?” 

“Y-Yes, darling…”

Jervis Tetch/The Mad Hatter:

Okay, okay, the tea party was almost ready. 

Jervis was setting up his next tea party for the Batman. He had the tablecloth laid out. All the plates and tableware was set. Y/N sat in their chair looking radiant as ever…

Y/N sitting in a reclining chair smiling away at some handheld device. Jervis thinks he remembers you called it a Switch or something like that. You seemed to enjoy playing on it, and it gave you something to do while Jervis was plotting and scheming.

However, he didn’t notice until just now, just how ethereal you were. Your eyes lit up, your cute little hums of satisfaction, your giggles. Gosh, your giggles were quite infectious even for him and he is the Mad Hatter. 

“Is there something wrong, Jervis?” You noticed he stopped pacing around and mumbling different ideas and tasks he had going on in his head. 

“Oh, um, no nothing at all…” Jervis darted his eyes away from you and tried to resume setting the traps on the chairs surrounding the table. 

There you go giggling again, gosh you were as cute as a white rabbit. 

WHAP

Jervis yelped in pain as the rat trap he had placed on the table was triggered when he placed his elbow down on it. 

“Oh my God, Jervis!” You jumped up and immediately helped pull back the mechanism, freeing his arm. 

“Aahh, ah..” Jervis whimpered. You began softly rubbing the joint, hoping the pinching sensation will fade away. 

“U-um..my dear, Y/N. N-Not that I don’t enjoy having you here with me…but perhaps it may be best if you went somewhere else while I finish up here.” 

A puzzled look showed up on your face. You titled your head when you asked, “but why, Jervis, everything was going fine…did something distract you?”

“Well…yes…a certain something..someone did..”

“Someone? Oh! Aww, Jervis…” You couldn’t help the small smile that grew across your face. 

“I’m afraid you’re far too enchanting for me, my dear. You’ll have to make haste elsewhere.” He shrugged nervously. 

“Well, if it’ll keep you from hurting yourself, I think I can oblige you just this once.” You poked the tip of his nose. 

Jervis giggled at the gesture, causing you to laugh in return. 

Harvey Dent/Two-Face:

You had no reason to look that alluring. 

He’s trying to plan his next trial at the kitchen table but nooo. You were sitting on the couch in the living room, wearing your new dress. You were steady scrolling on your phone, probably laughing at some cute animal videos. 

Dent would absolutely kill someone if they got in the way of your smile. He wouldn’t even need to flip a coin on it. 

Harvey would look down and try to focus on his list of defendants he had lined up, and some places he planned to raid. Those will probably have to happen next week, he found a quite a few rats in his gang. Plus his boys caught one of Penguin’s higher ups that could spill some hot info…

You laughed. You tried to cover it up, but failed pretty miserably. You started typing away on your phone. Your award-winning smile still plastered on your face. 

Damnit…who did his boys catch?

Harvey got up and leaned against the beam that separated the kitchen from the living room. 

“Hey…gorgeous…” 

You immediately perked your head up. “Oh, hey Harvey, how’s work going?”

“Ah, it’s going, could be going a lot faster though…”

“Really? How so?”

“If you could maybe go to the bedroom and hang out there…” He scratched the back of his neck nervously, not sure how else to tell you to leave.

“Oh, am I annoying you?” 

“No, no, far from it, doll.” He went up to you and got down on his knees. He took your hands in his and placed them on top of your knees. 

“You’re just, you always look so beautiful, but today you look…particularly…well gorgeous. And it’s really hard for me to focus…”

“Harvey Dent are you accusing me of being too pretty?” You jested, teasingly shoved him in his chest. 

“Afriad I am, doll. Luckily for you, I’ve already got a plea deal to offer you.”

“Even for a repeat offender like me?” You coyishly inquired, pretending to be worried about actually being charged with a crime. 

“Especially for you, if you can spend some time alone in another room, and it can be anywhere, but where I am…I won’t have to charge you for distracting me.”

“What do the charges entail, Mr. Dent?” You crossed your arms. 

“You don’t wanna know, doll. Just take my advice and I’ll make it worth your while.” Harvey winked. 

“Hm.” You stood up, almost knocking Harvey back on his haunches. “I suppose I’ll take your advice…this time, but I’ll hold you to that offer of making it worth my while.” 

Harvey laughed. “Sure thing, sweetness. Just please, I can’t be a victim to your radiance for much longer…”

“Oh shush, I’m leaving, I’m leaving!” 

[mochiimac]

About Love 3

My head gets messy when I try to hide

The things I love about you in my mind

Pairing: Hybrid!BTS x Fem!Reader

Summary: Becoming a best selling thriller author? Part of the plan. Living in the city and isolating yourself from everyone? Part of the plan. Inheriting your late uncles home in the woods, his sassy assistant and fortune after he died mysteriously? Not part of the plan. Oh, and he failed to mention the 7 'surprises' he left you as well.  And come to think of it... was his death an accident? Or is your imagination going wild again?

Genre: Hybrid!AU

Warnings (if bolded then this chapter contains these elements) : Fluff, Hurt, Comfort, Angst, Death, Abuse, Smut, Violence, Dom/Sub, Dom/Sub Elements, Non-Con Elements, Slow Burn, Trauma,

Rating: M 18+

WC: ~6k

Tag List: CLOSED- Tumblr doesn't like my list, I'll most likely have to do the list on a separate post... I'll figure it out lol

Notes: I'm so happy to be writing again! Thank you to everyone who waited and to those who have just started to read <3

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After being thrown into a brick wall, drowned in scolding black liquid, ran over twice, and bent to the point of snapping in half did sweet mercy come to relieve the pains of the world. It just so happened to be in the shape of a large metal box. And smell like every health violation known to man and hybrid kind.

Clunk!

Y/n’s damaged phone hit the bottom of the dumpster, the loud noise nearly being lost in the dark alleyway thanks to the busy traffic of the city. The device was now gone and irreparable (which may or may not have been extremely fun to do- perhaps he has some pent up rage he should work on...) meaning it could no longer be tracked. He was oh so careful about it.

He was careful when arriving in the city, taking detours and making random stops before settling on a random alleyway with a dumpster. Despite knowing he was alone Jackson remained careful though, double checking his surroundings before exiting the dumpster and heading back into his car. It might have seemed too extreme to someone looking in, but if the knew the Spades family. Knew what they were capable of...

Closing the door with a little too much force, he leaned back in his seat and let out a long sigh. Jackson closed his eyes, feeling the freshly fallen snow slowly melt and dampen his jet black hair. His lips were pulled into a thin line, nearly sucking his teeth, as the events from the day played back in his mind. 

The day was supposed to be an easy one. Get the new heiress into the new home, help unpack, question her mini library and the knickknacks he had noticed from prior visits, then head home. Simple. Done. Takoda made this all sound extremely easy in the will. But that man could make lassoing the moon look as easy as riding a bike. He was the kind of man who accomplished what he put his mind to and didn’t hesitate. Jackson admired him for it, looking up at him as a mentor ever since he was first hired. Even now the young man wanted to strive to be like his late boss.

He really wished the old man was right there with him, to help shed light on what Takoda was up to. And what Jackson should do with the chaotic mess he was in. 

Not only does Jackson now have to worry about the Spades family but now hybrids. He never held any ill thoughts towards the beings and honestly viewed them just as he viewed humans: there were good and bad hybrids just like there were good and bad humans. Of course he found it odd that even now, so long later, they weren't given basic human rights. Hell, many places still want to keep them on leashes. He just couldn't see how they could be treated that way.

Well... maybe for one hybrid he could. Jackson scowled at the fresh memory of the shaggy brown haired hybrid that held him in that death grip. He would enjoy that one being in a doghouse, more for the sake of his injured ego than for the hybrids actions. A large part of him wanted to stay and ensure Y/n was in good hands. But judging at how they reacted to him was enough to let Jackson know she was going to be safe. His ass still hurt from the youngest canine tackling him to the ground.

‘Little shit.’

Bzz! Bzz!

His cell phone vibrated in his pocket, breaking the warm and calm atmosphere of the car. At first he was prepared to see a new number, knowing Y/n would be calling to give him her new cell phone information. However he was surprised at the name that appeared, his eyes narrowing for a moment. He really didn’t want to take this call…

But he had no other choice.

“Hello?... Hold on, what? … No, that’s not possible. I just… He what?...” He paused as he heard the new information being told to him. “... Of course he did… Alright.” The line went dead and he tossed the phone into the passenger seat. For a brief moment he stared straight ahead, allowing the new information to sink in.

He blinked. 

Sighed.

BEEEEEP!

And banged his head into the car horn.

People walking about on the sidewalk jumped and stared at the parked vehicle who’s car horn was going off for a long period of time. But Jackson didn’t care. No, at that moment only one thing was on his mind: what the hell was Takoda up to. 

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The entire drive was rather relaxing. Namjoon kept a keen eye on the road while also engaging in conversation here and there. Jungkook and Jin decided to ask you a million questions, the duo's eyes were shining the entire time. It were as though you were telling them the greatest story to ever be written, even if it was just tidbits of your life. You did try to ask them questions about their own lives as well but they would get shy and nearly clam up.

It was shocking compared to how flirty and outgoing they were most of the time. You wondered if it had to do with their files... Those manilla envelopes might be holding their history and maybe some secrets they are afraid of speaking. It was hard to ignore when Namjoon would tense up beside you; Jungkook would let his hair fall in his face and glance down; Jin's smile would freeze before he stuttered a question of his own.

Did they really think you would kick them out from what those files stated? You heart clenched at the mere idea of it. Judging with how they acted you knew they were kind, too kind for the world they were created for.

And it made you nervous thinking of all that could have happened to them while being alive.

"You have arrived!" The GPS announced as the car slowed down. You were too busy with the pack that you failed to realize how fast time had gone by. "Welcome to Unova Mall!"

There was a time where shopping centers were dying out. Online shopping had grown and become popular with how easy it was to merely pick up your device, press a few buttons, and you’d see the item within the week. It wasn’t until hybrids came to be that mall’s began a resurgence. As more and more people began to adopt they soon realized that they had no where to showcase their new adoptions; restaurants were hardly allowing hybrids in due to them being seen as animals and highly dangerous (especially the first generation of hybrids), and parks were working on regulations on whether they needed leashes or not.

 As the world shifted with the new profound creations certain businesses picked up on this opportunity; mall’s were revamped to accommodate hybrids, allowing specialty stores of all types to gather together. For some it was convenient to shop for themselves and hybrids in one go. For others it marked a great place to allow their hybrids to be seen by the world; from owning the latest generation to the rarest of breeds it was the place to go.

Personally you never shopped in malls before, never had a reason to. You preferred to get what you needed online or by running to whatever market you stumbled upon. However you knew there was no better place to complete your shopping list than the mall. Even if it made you cringe on the inside. The mere idea of being mistaken for someone who uses hybrids for clout... It left a rotten taste in your mouth.

Pulling up you could see the appeal of walking around in the large shopping center. The stores appeared to be outside but upon closer inspection you could see a glass ceiling covering all the stores, protecting shoppers from the elements. There were large and tall metal pillars placed throughout the area; units designed to heat or use AC depending on the weather. While there was a parking lot for people to park, the stores had large paved areas for everyone to walk around freely without worrying about traffic. 

“I’ve never been to a place this large before.” Jungkook whispered, gold eyes large as he watched everything from his window. The car parked itself close to the front of the main entrance.

You were taken back once more to those files, wondering what their histories were like. Even now, stepping out of the car, that logical part of your brain was alerting you that you didn’t truly know these males. And, of course, that small voice in the back of your mind was reluctant to think of them as anything less than perfect. Nearly purring at the idea of them being the best men out there.

You really hated your brain sometimes.

“Alright beautiful, where do you want to go first?” Seokjin stood next to you. He kept close, his body acting as a shield to the wind and most of the snow.

“Furniture first, it’ll be easier to get that out of the way.” You responded. You stuffed your hands in your pockets, trying to keep the cold away.

Despite being mainly outdoors, the main entrance to the shopping center could easily be noticed by the large LED 'Welcome!' screen, models posing with hybrids wearing big smiles. The screen would shift and list attractions and new sales that the stores located all around would have. The stone pathway began right where the large welcome screen was, a directory stationed right beside it to assist in finding certain stores faster.

Namjoon walked beside you with Jin and Jungkook following close behind. “Do you know what you need exactly?”

“A bit, yes. I have a mental list of everything.” You beamed at him, your eyes meeting his amber ones. “It really shouldn’t take too long. Hardly any time at all.”

“Are we going to buy things for the arcade room?” Jungkook asked with a hint of hope in his voice. It did have you grinning but you shook your head at him.

“No, at least not today. We’re going to focus on the basics today.”

"There's still hope." He whispered, Namjoon rolling his eyes as the youngest grinned at the mere idea of having an entire game room to themselves.

The minute you stepped foot on the stone pathway entrance you felt warmth engulf you. The entire area felt warm and cozy, and even smelled good: you could smell hints of something sweet in the air almost like a bakery. A nice place such as this would provide air scents to boost appeal from the customers and create a relaxing atmosphere. Even Namjoon looked calmer though he was looking around and familiarizing himself with the place. His eyes were alert on the few people walking around, body shuffling closer to you.

‘What a good alpha.’ The pesky little voice in your head swooned. You mentally stomped on it with a boot and shook your head. With a quick glance you spotted the store with ease. “The store is right over there! Hopefully they have expedited shipping.”

“Are you in a rush for a coffee table or something?” Jin quirked an eyebrow, bright blue eyes looking confused for a moment. 

“Not that, but I need a place to sleep.” You laughed as you all walked into the store. It was brightly lit and held displays for various rooms a household could have. It went far beyond what you could see from where you were standing. Glancing around you saw the bedroom area and quickly went towards it. “You guys got the bedroom since there are three of you in your pack. I’ll take another room and make it my own.” 

 You could feel a small amount of tension and turned to see the three hybrids staring at you, stone still at the entrance of the store, with mixed emotions; Jungkook looked hurt, Jin looked confused, and Namjoon appeared to be troubled. There was no telling what was going on inside their minds as you stopped mid-walk and blinked at them.

“What’s wrong?”

“That’s what we want to know? Was it the nest?” Jungkook quickly walked up to you, eyes searching yours for something that you didn’t know. “I can do better. Make it better.” Your face heated up as he knelt to your level, hands on your shoulders creating warmth and security that you hated to admit that you loved. “What did we do?”

“I- you guys did nothing,” You stammered over your words, noticing the rest of the pack gathering around you as well. A million questions rocketed in your mind, not knowing where this behavior came from. You really needed to do your own research or communicating would be nearly impossible. You could ask but you couldn't find the nerve to; you were already viewing yourself as a terrible owner for leaving them alone for months. Asking questions on basic information made you even worst in your own eyes. Stressing them out, not knowing enough about their species... you needed to do better and give them some hope in you and your abilities.

“You guys are a pack and would want to stay together, so you guys can take the master room. Since I’m not a pack member I really shouldn’t intrude.”

You could tell Jungkook was ready to argue, however a deeper voice was faster. “We understand Y/n. Thank you for thinking of us.” Namjoon gave you a soft smile, though it was a small one. His eyes seemed to be swimming through emotions that you couldn’t decode no matter how hard you tried. There was a pang in your heart at the thought of hurting them though you had no idea what you even did. If anything you were trying todo what was best for them.

As if sensing your doubts he gently took your arm and began to lead the way to the other showcases. Jin followed and offered you a soft smile as well, but just like the pack alpha’s it was small and didn’t reach his eyes. You pushed  your questions to the back of your mind as the bedroom displays came into view. Instead you focused on what you needed and went straight to the mattresses first, needing to test them out and see which one would be comfy for you. 

Namjoon and Jin did help you, making good points. Jungkook, however, not so much. He decided to full on pout and whine, hands tugging on your jacket as he tried to sway you with pitiful words. Small attempts at pointing out minor flaws (“It’s an ugly color!”) didn’t help him either. Sitting on the seventh bed, you felt like it was made from a cloud. And no pouts from the youngest hybrid could sway you.

“It feels like I’m on a cloud, I really like this one.” You sighed and leaned back, closing your eyes. “I think I’m taking this one. Scratch that, I know I’m taking this one.” Since entering the store you could feel yourself feel less tense and stressed, boy molding into the soft material. You were ready to take a nap right there and then. The mattress shifted and you cracked your eyes open to be met with a pair of gold eyes boring into your very soul. You heart nearly stopped in shock at the canines presence. You didn't even notice him near you.

“But why not just stay with us?”

Jungkook saved the puppy dog eyes for last. Large doe eyes were staring right into your soul, lower lip jutted out in a pout that could shake even the iciest of hearts. There was determination behind the adorable stunt that you could see; the sharpness in his eyes as he waited for the perfect moment to try and persuade you once again. And what better way than when you had your guard down? He was hovering over you, hands on either side of your head, knees placed on either side of your waist though not a single ounce of his weight touched you. He was holding his own weight easily, without so much as a second thought. Your cheeks heated up as you realized the position you were in and blinked rapidly up at him, trying to collect your scrambled thoughts.

Your heart hammered in your chest, nearly jumping up your throat. You willed it to be steady for your own sake. “Jungkook, we talked about this. You guys need space as a pack.” Your words were met with a frown tugging on his pout, eyes searching yours once more. But you had no idea what he was looking for. So you changed tactics instead. “Besides, I’m the worst to sleep near. I’m certain I snore a lot.” 

“I doubt that. Prove me wrong, spend the night with us. If we don’t mind then you stay.” His tone was firm, almost a command. Having him be this persistent should have made you roll your eyes and be snippy with the hybrid. But instead of feeling annoyed or even angry you felt yourself sag a little. Almost as if you were going to follow his orders, your eyes dilating ever so slightly as you stared up at him. Some type of trance seemed to take place over you, as if you were in your own little bubble with Jungkook where he was in control over everything. And somehow you were perfectly fine with that, hell you found yourself relaxing even more.

You couldn’t explain what your body was doing, you just felt the need to let go and let him take control. Maybe he was right… “Trust me, it’s best if you don’t. I-I also toss and turn all night.” You sounded weak, words spoken in a hush that not even you would have believed. 

The pout had disappeared moments ago, the moment you relaxed under him. Jungkook was now gazing at you with a small smirk and hooded eyes, the gold shining brilliantly against his dark lashes. He seemed to be in a trance himself as he slowly lowered himself closer to you. His body was a hair's width away from you now, if you so much as took a deep breath you would be pressed against him. You could feel his warmth radiate off of him, his voice dropping several octaves, almost a growl, as he spoke. “We can keep you in place. Namjoon-ah especially.” 

The next second happened too fast for you to grasp. The smallest of whimpers slid past your lips just as Jungkook yelped and disappeared from your view. It was as though the trance you were in shattered entirely and you sat up quickly, face ablaze as you looked around. Namjoon was gripping Jungkook by the back of his neck, the youngest looking almost ashamed with his head bent. Jin was reaching to slowly pull you up with sigh. There was no one else around (thankfully for you) and you nearly forgot where you were.

“Sorry about the brat, beautiful. He can be very persistent. We looked away for one moment and this happened.” His tone sounded remorseful, hands carefully pulling you up from the mattress. Those blue eyes carefully watched your face for a moment, as if waiting for something to happen. For you to do something or act out.

What even was that? You didn’t know what came over you or how it happened. Truth is you honestly didn’t want to know. Not yet at least. For now you were blaming it on your lack of intimacy. It has been quite some time since you were with someone…

Shaking your head you sighed. “It’s alright, he tried though. But I want this mattress.”

Taking note of which one you wanted, you continued down your list and got the rest of the things you needed. Namjoon kept Jungkook a bit away from you, the leader sending cool glares when he got too close. Jin was the one who did most of the talking with you, assisting you in certain items and his thoughts. An hour later and you were heading outside the store with your new belongings expected to be delivered that evening. While Jin was walking with you, Namjoon and Jungkook were following behind. The youngest was sulking while the leader was giving him a side eye. Whatever happened definitely wasn't approved by Namjoon.

'It's probably best if to keep my distance.' You thought, trying to keep some space between you and Jin. The husky sent you a questionable look that you ignored completely. You needed to get everything done before something else happens.

Next on the list was the hybrids themselves and getting them whatever they wanted or needed. You didn’t want them to feel rushed to shop, hence why you grabbed the furniture first. This ensured that they had plenty of time to browse and take a look around at whatever they needed. The store you had seen was not too far away; a mere few stores down was the famous store known for hybrids: Brand New Day.

BND was a large store that was filled to the brim with supplies for any type of Hybrid. It was a staple store in the community, being known for their amazing customer service and embracing acceptance towards all Hybrids. The four of you walked through the glass doors and towards the softer glow of lights that gave the store a warm appearance. The entire place felt like a giant hug; from the soft color scheme to the classic wooden floors. Displays scattered all around the store showcased all sorts of items, you felt lost looking around for a moment- where to even begin?

“Hi, I’m Lisa! Is there anything I can assist you with today?” A young woman approached your group, her hair glossy and as black as night. Her smile was kind, eyes meeting each person in your group. She wore an all black outfit with a beige apron, the BND logo embroidered on the front. Lisa looked relaxed and eager to help, eyes mainly trained on you since you were the owner of the trio.

You smiled back at her. “Hi, yes we need help. You see, I recently adopted my hybrids and…” You trailed off, obviously not knowing where to start. You feared you were going to look like an idiot and maybe even laughed at but the smile never once faltered. Lisa seemed to understand your predicament and give you a reassuring smile.

“I totally understand, it can be overwhelming. Especially if this is your first time.” Sliding her hand into her apron pocket she pulled out a small stack of pamphlets of various colors. “Now, what breed are each of your hybrids?”

You told her their names and their breed and she handed each one a pamphlet of different color. Jungkook had her faltering for a second, eyebrows knitting as she looked at the pamphlets. The wolfdog shifted his feet, gold eyes cast down as the seconds ticked by. Jungkook seemed uncomfortable as Lisa flipped through more pamphlets. You frowned, opening your mouth to ask what was wrong but Lisa was quick to perk up and smile at the two of you.

“Ah, here’s one for general canines and one for wolves! A crossbreed such as his is rare and while these are a good guide to buy the products you need, but Jungkook can absolutely browse and make his own selections. They all can really. These just help answer any questions you may have.” She explained, smiling gently at your group. 

It wasn’t hard to tell that Jungkook looked almost embarrassed about the whole thing. And to make matters worse he seemed to be watching your reactions, gauging how you reacted to it. Sending him a soft smile you nodded.

"Thank you for your help!" You truly meant it too; Lisa provided a warm presence and reassurance. The fear of being laughed at or frowned upon for your lack of knowledge was slowly melting away. There was something about her presence that made you feel better.

"It is not a problem, if any of you have any questions don't hesitate to ask! I'll be on the floor if you need to find me." One last cheerful smile and a small bow she made her way back to her associate duties.

The pack was looking around with wide eyes, glancing in every direction. BND certainly had a wide variety of items, which was incredible for those who had owners of different breeds, and easier to find what you were looking for. You were about to ask where they wanted to go to first but held back as you remembered how Namjoon behaved earlier; his iciness when Jungkook behaved in the furniture store was hard to ignore.

'It'll be best if I let them get their own items. Give them space.' You didn't want to cause another incident and have an angry wolf on your hands. Instead you gave each of them a small smile, ignoring the uneasiness you felt of your choice.

"Why don't you guys go and gather what you need? I'll have Lisa open a register for you to place your items as you go." Your voice was light and positive, watching their facial expressions, especially Namjoon's.

Those amber eyes met yours, the corners of his mouth turned ever so slightly down. "Actually-"

"Sounds like a lovely idea, beautiful." Jin smiled at you, grabbing his pack mates arms. "We'll gather what we need. Is there a limit on what you wish to spend?"

"No, gather what you need or want. If it can fit in the car it can be purchased. Have fun!" You quickly turned on your heel, looking for Lisa. You didn't want Jungkook or Namjoon to try to persuade you to linger. Besides you assured yourself that they would love the space to shop freely without you hovering.

Spotting the raven haired woman, you explained your plan to her: leaving the trio inside the store to shop while you ran out to get a new phone. You were vague, explaining that your previous one was damaged from being left on top of the car. Whether she believed your or not did not matter and she only smiled and promised to keep an eye on the trio while you were out.

Exiting the store you nearly jogged to the phone store located several stores down. Not too far to cause worry and only a few minutes to walk to. Once inside you got down to business, determined to finish everything up as soon as possible.

Which happened to take over an hour.

You had to close your old account and open a new one with a whole new number (you claimed you had a stalker named Jackson) and decided to add three more lines to your account. What took you the longest was picking out which color phone to give to which hybrid. It was so slow in the store that several phone service representatives began to vote for colors for each hybrid (you did have fun with that though) and settled on three new colors along with one for you.

Once they were set up, you were handed a bag and free to dash back to Brand New Day, mentally praying that nothing bad had happened. However opening the glass door you stumbled upon a heartbreaking scene.

Jungkook was alone and curling in on himself, tail tucked between his legs, merle ears so low you could hardly see them from his fluffy hair. Soft whines poured from his hunched figure, back starting to shake. Lisa was next to him, her words soft as she tired to calm the canine down. She didn't touch him however; she was attempting at keeping his personal space for his own sake. But her words were falling on deaf ears.

Your heart splintered at the site of the hybrid shaking and turning his head to the side and away from Lisa and the door. A single tear rolled down his cheek, lips trembled as another whine came through. He sounded almost as if he was going to start howling. A wave of worry finally got you rushing forward, sliding towards your hybrid.

“Jungook?” Your voice was high pitched, the worry leaking out into the open. Your own eyes were wide with worry as you tried to make your way towards the hybrid.

Hearing your voice he snapped his head to you, his ears perked up and twitched at the sound of your voice. Gold eyes brimming with tears. It only took a millisecond before you were nearly tackled. Strong arms encased you close and tightly as though you’d disappear if he loosened his grip. His nose was pressed into the crook of your neck, breathing in deeply before he sighed. “Couldn’t find you. I kept looking. Thought you left.” Although his words were muffled in your skin, you could hear them perfectly clear.

‘Was he left behind before?’ You had to wonder if this was something he had experienced, given that it was the first thing he thought of when he couldn’t see you. The mere thought had you holding him just as tight, a hand running through his locks. “I’m sorry, I had to grab something. Besides I can’t leave, not without my hybrids.” 

Your eyes met Lisa and you mouthed a thank you to her, and she smiled back and nodded to the register where you spotted a confused looking Jin setting some clothes down and heading over to the two of you. "Jungkook? Y/n? What happened?" The concern in his voice had you feeling a little safer; knowing he was worried about you was almost reassuring in a way you couldn't explain.

"I had to run an errand, Jungkook couldn't find me and thought I left you guys..." You trialed off, feeling guilt eat at you now. You honestly didn't think it was going to take that long to get everything done, thankfully he only just realized that you were gone.

Jungkook peeked up from your neck and looked at Jin, the two staring at one another for a few moments before Jin sighed. "I'm glad to see your okay, Y/n." His lips curled down however, eyebrows knitting as his bright blue eyes pierced into yours. "However, you need to tell us next time. What if something were to happen? We wouldn't know where you were or went to."

His tone wasn't condescending, but there was authority behind it. An order of sorts. It had you looking down, feeling small and weak for a moment. "I told Lisa, I wanted you guys to have some shopping and fun without me breathing down your necks."

Hearing this had the pair of hybrids looking at you with confusion, Jungkook pulling away from you. His lips parted and whether he had a questions or statement you wouldn't find out; Namjoon's voice broke the three of you out of the quiet stare down you guys had going on.

"I think we got everything we need." The ashy haired wolf approached the group, eyes lingering on everyone with an eyebrow raised. Seeing the questionable look you jumped away from Jungkook, creating some distance from yourself and the others.

"If you guys got what you needed we can pay and head out." Ducking your head, you headed towards the register where Lisa stood with a smile. Everything was rung up and ready to go, two shopping carts filled with items the hybrids had picked out. With a quick good day your group left; Jungkook and Jin pushing the carts towards the car while you gripped the single shopping bag from earlier.

"Y/n?" Namjoon was standing right behind you, his deep voice making you freeze on the spot. Slowly you turned and looked at him with eyes slightly large.

You managed to squeak out a 'yes?' and stare at the wolf, wondering what he was going to do. Was he going to go off on your for what happened in the furniture store? Or for leaving and making Jungkook upset? You were on the verge of fidgeting the longer he looked at you. Those eyes scanning over your every feature making your heart beat faster. It was soft, barely heart but you know you did: Namjoon let out a soft whine in the back of his throat, his hand quickly reaching out for one of yours.

"What's wrong?" He sounded concerned, his voice coming out in a hush. His thumb was brushing slow circles on the back of your hand, the gentle action helping quiet your hammering heart. "Did something happen?"

"I... I just thought you guys would want space as a pack." You wanted to kick yourself for sounding so weak and quiet. It seemed to be happening a lot as of late and it bothered you a bit. Closing your eyes you decided to be honest and not dance around the bush. "After all that happened today, I thought it was what you wanted. You seemed upset at the furniture store-"

"Oh angel." Namjoon cut you off with a sigh, his hand pulling you closer. Your eyes snapped open, meeting his gaze head on. The new nickname had your cheeks turning rosy. "I'm not upset. At least, not with you. Jungkook... he did something that I disapproved of." Reading your confused expression he only brought your hand up to his mouth, pressing his lips to the back of it, breathing your scent in deeply. "I'll explain once you read our files, angel."

When you only nodded he raised an eyebrow at you, not pleased with no verbal response. He raised his eyebrow for a second before his teeth nipped at your knuckles playfully, making you leap back and scowl. "Fine, yes!" He laughed at your response, gently pulling you towards the car.

"Let's get the groceries and head home." He laughed again, and looking up you spotted dimples with his wide smile. Grinning back at him you nodded in agreement with only one thought on your mind: You really liked how he said 'home'.

｡❅*⋆⍋*｡*⍋⋆*❅｡ 

It was eerily quiet in the large vehicle. The soft sound of the heater flowing through the vents from the front seat would have created a beautiful little bubble in the car. If it weren’t for the two passengers sitting in the back seats, shivering in their thin jackets. They learned quickly that the vents were either broken or the driver simply refused to turn the back vents on. The teasing of the heat that barely reached them would have created a sour mood.  But not today. 

No, today was indeed a perfect day in their eyes. And no amount of cold could dampen the light that their eyes held as they watched the large city come into view. Towering skyscrapers twinkling in the late afternoon, their lights illuminating the grays and whites from all around. The lights seemed to glow brighter as if sensing their hopeful hearts. He pressed his head against the glass, ignoring the biting chill of the surface and watched with wide eyes as the world around them zoomed by. What would they look like? For months he had envisioned what their savior would look like. He wondered what their hobbies were, their favorites, he wanted to know it all. 

The daydream came to an abrupt halt much like the car that screeched to a stop on the side of the road, right outside of an apartment complex. It towered and loomed over the pair as they stared with mouths slightly agape. Was this the place? Was this where they were meant to go? The company gave them zero information on the matter with the exception of one name.

“Get out.” 

The driver’s voice was as cold as the winter winds. Beady, dark eyes glaring at the two from the rearview mirror. One hand was gripping the wheel and the other was on the gear shift. He wanted them out as soon as possible. Obviously he wasn’t a fan of hybrids. It was a common occurrence but still the hate in his eyes had the pair tensing up. 

“B-but which one do we-” The eldest tried to speak up, the cool glare already rattling his nerves. Even his sensitive ears he could hear the insecurity and softness in his words. He wanted to sound brave for his pack but it was hard when his own heartbeat betrayed him. He could have spoken up, perhaps sound stronger but those words died on his lips as the man in front of them laughed. It was scratchy and deep, full of mockery. 

“Like I care. I was told to deliver you two here, nothing more, nothing less. So get out. Now.” He tapped the gas pedal once, cackling as the vehicle bucked forward sending the pair forward into the front seats.

Anger brewed inside but he knew arguing with the older man would only cause problems. Gripping his younger brother's hand he gently pulled him out the doors and into the cold winter air. The lightweight jackets they wore were no match for the icy winds and snowflakes that whipped around them. The moment the door was closed the car screeched off and out of sight. 

“H-hyung, what now?” Arms crossed over his chest, the youngest leaned into the eldest to try and get warm. Pointed ears flattened against his head and bushy tail wrapping around himself as protection. “Sh-sh-should we kn-knock?” 

They both knew that wouldn't work. At least not for them; two hybrids knocking on every door would only have Hybrid Protective Services called. And going back was not an option, at least not for them. Being homeless and living on the street would have been better than returning. Anything would have been better than returning to their company.

Today was supposed to be the start of a new life for them. A new chapter with possibilities and hope for a better future. A fresh start. Was this all a joke? Fear began to creep in as the thought of this all being one large prank grew; giving the two of them one last bit of hope only to have it ripped from them. It was very possible, knowing their company, and the thought had the eldest almost spiraling when a soft voice broke the chain of thoughts.

“Are you two from Faux Inc?” 

A young woman stood behind them, shocking the pair for a moment. Dark hair was glittered in snow flakes, with equally dark eyes watching the two with curiosity and, from what they could tell, hope. She wore a professional pantsuit with a thick outer coat to help protect against the harsh weather. The air she had was calm and collected, though not cool- she was someone who felt dependable, a safe place to land. 

The youngest perked up, tail wagging at the young woman. “Are you Mr. Takoda?” There was a hint of desperation in his voice, fingers gripping his hyung’s jacket. 

She smiled and swallowed the giggle that tried to escape and shook her head. “I’m afraid not. My name is Soojin Seo, I was one of his three assistants. I was informed by your late owner to provide you with a home for a while, letting his niece get settled in before escorting you both to the home.”

“Late owner? Mr. Takoda has passed?” The eldest blinked in surprise, turning to the other. This was not something that they were told. 

“That is correct. However do not worry; his niece will be your new owner. She is slowly adjusting with the changes.” Soojin smiled at the two softly, knowing this was a confusing situation. She could only do her best to help the pair while under her temporary care. Takoda was a well planned out man; she had her instructions and would follow them perfectly. “While she is getting settled, you two will be with me for a bit.”  As she spoke she walked towards a large white SUV, gracing them with a reassuring smile. “I can answer all your questions to the best of my ability on the way back to my home. I’ll do my best to ensure your safety and happiness.”

The two shared a look with the same thought bouncing between the two of them: they had nothing left to lose anyway. Perhaps it was blind trust and the cold, or maybe it was the desperation of wanting a home. Regardless the pair climbed into the warm car, their hands clasped together as questions crept to the tip of their tongues. 

｡❅*⋆⍋*｡*⍋⋆*❅｡ 

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[momobani]

Wilson!

THE WAY I hate YOU - Chapter 3 - 16.3k

&team Nicholas x fem!reader - arranged marriage AU

SERIES MASTERLIST

Sum: most people would die to stay in their honeymoon phase, you on the other hand might die from being in the honeymoon phase. 

Warnings: swearing, sarcasm, mention of food and alcohol, Nicholas (i feel like his existence is a warning in this one, you’ll see what i mean), mentions of sex 

Soundtrack rec: Hold Me Tight or Don’t - Fall Out Boy

Taglist: @nichoswag @seokka0o

A/N: i personally was having a delightful time writing some of this, like more than usual lol that i went overboard with the word count, i hope you enjoy it too <3 (again ft some fun cameos! don’t take it seriously lmao)  

This is so not how you had imagined spending your Friday night.

The hot pot machine bubbled quietly in the middle of the table while you tried to simultaneously pay attention to what Nicholas was saying and fight a piece of meat that just kept disappearing below the surface of the broth. 

“So, what do you think?” Nicholas concludes. He’d just finished his side of the debate on which apartment you should choose to live in. The two of you had been meeting to organise your lives and had finally come to make a decision for where you’ll live. 

You finally manage to snag that piece of meat and bring it to your plate quickly. 

“Well, I agree about how much nicer it would be to have a laundry room but I’m not too hot on the location.” you reply.

“What do you mean?” he asks. “The location is perfect!” 

“What’s so perfect about it?” you inquire, looking down at the tablet between you. The map just showed it was some distance away from your current apartments, although closer to the supermarket you went to and the boba cafe you liked. 

“It’s pretty central to where we need to go,” he says, flicking through the photos again. “and there’sabasketballcourtafewblocksaway.” he speedily finishes. The slew of words don’t quite hit your ears in real time and your eyebrows scrunch together as you try to decipher what your husband just said. 

“There’s a what?” you ask. 

“And there’s a park so nature, yay!” he grins, trying to move on but you weren’t born yesterday. You raise an eyebrow combatively - he either tells you or you’ll veto this entirely. Nicholas sighs. “There’s a basketball court nearby and it’d be nice to play with my friends. Happy now?”

“What really is happiness?” you hum in thought, avoiding sinking into a philosophical blackhole, instead thinking about his revelation about the court and to some extent, the park. It might be a way to get Maki to come over to yours and hang out - you barely got to see him lately and you wanted to see how he was doing.    

“Hey, save the existential crisis for later and tell me if I can play basketball or not.” Nicholas pouts over a piece of tofu puff.

“I’m not about to choose an apartment based on that. Give me better reasons.” you shrug, coming down with a verdict that you were sure Nicholas wouldn’t like, but you weren’t about to just indulge him.

“Okay, let’s review; our own laundry room, underground parking, central location,” he lists, taking a moment to think between each one. “reasonable mortgage - hmm?” he wriggles his eyebrows the way you think those old school teleshopping people would but right now it feels more like the way a shady conman might. “Oh, and the park and the court.”

You purse your lips, weighing up the pros and cons. The place you’d chosen had some of the same perks - in terms of parking and location but there was no laundry room, just a machine in the kitchen and you didn’t love that. You mentally added the boba place to Nicholas’ list and the possibility of persuading your little brother to visit you so he wouldn’t forget you exist. 

Unfortunately, it made logical sense to pick the place with more perks and better price for value, but the whole thing sounded like Nicholas was fishing for a way to avoid you at home. 

On second thought, maybe that’s how you should consider it - it might give you opportunities to be independent of each other and not be constantly stuck together. You clear your throat and munch on a piece of rice cake for a moment.

“Fine, let’s take that one. I like doing laundry.” you say whatever nonsense that comes to mind. Nicholas is suddenly far too happy to pay attention to details. 

“Really?” his eyes are wide in surprise. “Okay, we better move fast then. I’ll send them an interest inquiry right now.” he forgets about the food and starts tinkering away on securing the apartment for you. 

You watch him, busy hands and roaming eyes. He pushes up the sleeves of his olive shirt - a comfy and clearly beloved cozy sweater - and focuses. You notice the details of his existence; his tense forearms, the tongue that swipes across his lips unconsciously, and the chain that hangs around his muscular neck. 

Sometimes it was hard to understand that you weren’t really strangers any more. 

You’d been married for two weeks already and had been seeing a lot more of each other than you thought you would before you lived together. There’d been several family and business dinners that had needed your presence but you went to each other’s places to eat occasionally while you looked at new apartments or planned your move.

So much for strangers. 

Nicholas was your husband now and you were his wife. It had already happened and you just needed to get used to it.

“YN?” you snap out of it, realising that you’d been spacing out while looking in his direction so he probably thought you were staring at him. 

“Yeah?”

He gives you a once over and goes back to his tapping on the screen. “Nothing, just checking you were still breathing.”

“I am.” you confirm, taking a deep breath in and exhaling. “See?” 

“Yeha.” Nicholas barely responds because he seems to have made progress on the inquiry. “And done. We should hear from them soon.” he smiles, pretty proud of himself. 

“Cool. Now we just have to somehow pack up our lives and smush them together in one place.” you say. 

“Don’t stress, it’ll be fine.” Nicholas says dismissively, getting back to his meal. 

“Let’s hope so.” you mumble and do the same. 

You had lived by yourself for a little while now, so living with someone else again all of a sudden was going to be a bit of shock to your system. 

The two of you had agreed to have your own rooms and your own space within the apartment, essentially cohabiting like roommates because nowhere did it say in any document you actually had to sleep in the same bed like a married couple would. 

You were married legally and in name only, as far as you were concerned. 

You drew up rules to keep the peace, basic things like keeping it clean, respecting each other’s space, and minding your own business, but you weren’t too worried about it. You were a great roommate, even if you did say so yourself.  

The apartment was secured over the weekend and you were free to move in from the following Thursday onwards. 

Several days later, your apartment was all packed up except for the bare minimum living essentials, which would come with you later. You helped the movers put your stuff in their van, telling them that they’ll meet your husband at the apartment while you hung back and sorted things out there. 

It’s sluggish to put the last few items in a box and double check your suitcase. You get a text from Nicholas that the movers have finished and are away already and you realise you’re moving slowly subconsciously; you didn’t want to leave yet.

You didn’t want to accept that you weren’t going to be the way you were any more. 

There was an echo of your footsteps that resonated through your now empty apartment, the space far too barren for your liking. In some ways you were glad, because you’d been able to negotiate which of your furniture you would keep and which you had to sell on since you had no need for it. 

Your precious couch and coffee table had survived and you were taking it with you, whereas Nicholas was bringing the dining table and chairs from his place with your somewhat enthusiastic approval. (The dining table was tastefully furniture to die for.) Your bedroom stuff had survived for the most part since you weren’t going to share any of it, but apart from that, you had to sell several things. 

You looked over your shoulder one last time at what used to be your place, before closing the door with a quiet click for the last time. It felt solemn; like the end of an era, so of course you were feeling a little sentimental. 

The drive to your new apartment was marred by heavy rain pouring down, the forecast for sunny clear skies completely wrong, so you drove slowly, putting on a sad ballad to match the mood. You were going to miss that place; it was somewhere you’d learned a lot about yourself, had your real taste of independence in and one that you cherished a lot. 

You get to your new front door, apartment 520* mounted in pretty gold letters against the dark emerald lacquer of the door. 

It felt like a betrayal when you entered the passcode for the first time and opened the door.

“Surprise!” you heard a yell as soon as stepped into the hallway. You jump slightly, suddenly snapped out of your thoughts. “Hey, roomie!” 

Nicholas was standing there grinning, all alone, blowing one of those annoyingly brightly coloured party blowers. The noise scratched a very specific part of your brain, and not in a good way. You moved to shove your shoes off.  

“Not exactly a surprise since we agreed to live here together, but okay.” you say shrugging and drag your suitcase into the corridor. 

“I guess,” Nicholas says. “but I just wanted to get one of these.” he holds up the party blower. 

“Great.” you move past him and look around for your furniture. You spot the stuff in your room and your couch is deposited randomly with your coffee table but what surprises you is that Nicholas’ stuff isn’t here yet. “Did something happen to the dining table, or?” you ask. 

“Ah,” he hums, thinking for a moment. “well, I’ve still got a few things to move since I was using Fuma’s van and it didn’t fit everything, so I sort of sacrificed the table. Sorry.” he finishes sheepishly. “Besides, isn’t it classic to eat on the floor the first night you move in somewhere new?” 

“It doesn’t matter if it’s a thing or not, I guess we’re doing it on the floor.” you say. 

“Huh?” Nicholas seems startled for a moment. “Doing what?” 

“Eating, duh.” you say. You wonder why that would have confused him; surely he wasn’t thinking you two were going to- oh my god, did he? No, you were just tired and imagining stupid things. You shake your head, “Whatever. I’m ordering. What do you want to eat?” 

And so you did eat on the floor on your first night in your new apartment, ignoring the perfectly good couch and sitting on a random blanket like an indoor picnic. 

It wasn’t all bad but there was a certain awkwardness being there, a little like the first time you’d met Nicholas. You just hoped you could get used to the apartment like you were getting used to him. 

* 

“No. I simply refuse.” you state as you stir your morning coffee. Nicholas sighs deeply, hunching over the kitchen counter. 

“But it’s a really good deal! We should go.” he argues. Instead of a debater, he sounds more like a kid trying to convince their parents to do something. You shook your head.

“I have things to do, you go if you really want to.” you say. Nicholas looks dubious - it’s the first time you’ve seen that expression on his face. 

“Mrs Wang-” you’re about to interject at the name calling but he doesn’t let you. “did you just tell me- your husband- to go on our honeymoon alone?” he asks, scepticism rising with every syllable. 

“You’re right. That sounds pathetic.” you concede. “Go with your friends. Make it a dude-bro-cation. Take Jo and Euijoo and…” you think hard, trying to remember names. “Fuma!” you snap your fingers, having remembered another one of Nicholas’ friends. 

“Don’t hurt yourself if you don’t know.” he says sarcastically.

“Hey! I met them one time,” you can’t help the defensive pout that you feel like came out. “and you have a lot of friends.” you mutter. 

“Not the point, YN. I’m not going without you.” Nicholas says. “This is practically a direct order from management, a.k.a the parents! And they’re offering to pay for everything.”

You sip your coffee, thinking. 

Your parents had dropped this bomb on you last night, telling you to go on a honeymoon while you were having dinner at your parents’ house. Both sides offered to pay for everything like they did with the wedding and call it a honeymoon for the two of you. 

It sounded fair enough.

You just didn’t feel like going though.     

You could go on vacation whenever you wanted to - you made enough money by yourself that you could splurge - but going now and officially calling it a honeymoon? It felt silly, like the cherry on top of this whole crazy arranged marriage business. 

“It’s just a vacation, why make it sound so - I don’t know.” you think out loud. 

“YN, please don’t make me beg you.” Nicholas’ shoulders slumped. “It’s a free vacation, for crying out loud! Who says no to that?” 

I would, you thought. You didn’t know what the situation in Nicholas’ office was, but in your office, department, part of hell, whatever you wanted to call it, you had to stick around if you didn’t want to be left behind or get your ass grilled by everyone else. 

You were already scrutinised enough for being the boss’ kid, but disappearing to go on a holiday with your husband just when the merger was really getting underway? You would get roasted con fuoco.

“You know what, I will beg,” Nicholas resolves, getting up. “I’m getting on my knees, I’m not above begging.” he announces before sliding off his slippers. It’s almost comical and you think he’s joking but he starts to bend down.

“Okay!” you exclaim, putting a stop to his buffoonery. “We’ll go on our stupid honeymoon.” 

You decided that whatever happened at work was better than having to hear him begging and bugging you about going until you agreed.

“That’s more like it.” he stands up straight, grinning. “I’m no fancy lawyer, but I know how to win in these situations.”

“You sure do, but do you ever think you’ll win your dignity back?” you say to him before leaving for your room. You leave him gapping after you in your kitchen.

“Who needs dignity? I’m going on vacation!” Nicholas calls after you, just before you close the door. 

*

The PA system crackles overhead and you fasten your seatbelt, getting ready for takeoff. 

Nicholas sits besides you, neck pillow already in place, as well as a fuzzy wolf sleeping mask placed over his forehead, the image of a travel diva personified in your husband. Of course he would be so extra for like a three hour flight.

You ignored him while you got comfy, pulling on your cardigan when they started to blast the AC down on you. 

“So, how remote is this island anyway?” Nicholas asks, sending one last text before switching his pone to flight mode. You pause to remember details on what you’d read. 

“Hmm, I’d say a lot. Something about limited signal and wifi.” you answer, shrugging. You’d fought tooth and nail about where you were going on vacation- no, honeymoon- and you’d compromised on the island since it had a beach, which is one thing you both wanted. 

Suddenly the air around you swishes. Nicholas whips around to look at you, desperate. 

“Are you sure about that?” he says with all but the zest of John Cena’s original delivery.

“Yes,” you say, silently edging away from him. “there’s this thing called ‘research’, ever heard of it?”

“Don’t patronise me.” Nicholas pouts, sitting back. You crack a smile.

“Ooh, big word for wittle Nichowas.” you chuckle, starting to think this vacation might actually be a good idea. You were going to watch your city-boy husband practically lose his mind in the jungle; it was going to be great. 

“Can’t you speak nicely?”

“No.” you say. 

“You are so incredibly frigid.” he shoots back. 

“Aha, I was born this way.” you take the opportunity to reach a quick hand and pull the fuzzy sleeping mask over his nose and mouth, snapping it lightly. He splutters slightly as he fights the wolf off his face. 

“Do you have a sarcastic reply to everything?” he huffs, putting the mask back in its place before you decided to redecorate his accessories. 

“Probably. Guess we’ll find out.” you hum, reaching into your pocket for chewing gum. You take a piece out then offer the pack to Nicholas, who also takes a piece in the most begrudging way. You smile to yourself, chewing as the plane takes off. 

This was going to be interesting.

*

Upon arriving, you felt two things: 

Firstly, the sweet smell of not answering work emails for ten days, and secondly, the colossal, mind-melting, soul-snatching humidity. It was horrific. As if you could practically taste it if you stuck your tongue out (you didn’t, though it crossed your mind).

You’d shed your cardigan, stuffing it into your carry-on bag and Nicholas had unbuttoned one more of his shirt’s top buttons. 

You make it out of the tiny airport, if you could call it that and not a helipad, and follow the signs to the shuttle bus that would take you to resort where your hotel was. 

After getting off the bus, your clothes sticking to your skin from the heat, you finally see the hotel up a short path. There was a lot of what you presumed was jungle or rainforest just outside the resort and it loomed majestically overhead behind the light chainlink fence that seemed to be placed there just for the thought of having it. 

“I could totally run away and live off the land, Robinson Crusoe style.” You muttered to yourself.

“What?”

“Intrusive thought. Nevermind.” you snapped out of it, continuing to walk. 

“Oh god,” Nicholas groaned miserably. “this island is literally in the middle of ass fuck nowhere!” 

You didn’t know what he was whining about, you’d both picked this place. “Your point?”

“We’re completely marooned - there’s like no signal, no wifi…” he complains while hoisting his phone up in the air as if it was the Lion King. 

“Don’t tell me you were actually planning on spending your vacation just watching TV in your room all day?” you throw a semi-judgmental glance at your husband over your shoulder. 

Nicholas pockets his phone silently and adjusts his shirt slightly from sticking to his body. You side-eye a couple of girlies that walk past you and gawk at Nicholas, obviously staring at the way the white fabric outlined the defined lines of his torso. You ignore the image and bulldoze forward to the hotel’s entrance.  

“Well, not all day, but now I can’t do it at all.” he says, disappointment evident in his voice. 

“Boo-hoo, the whole point of vacation is to chill. You can still do that perfectly fine.” you point out.      

“I like chilling,” he huffs. “Netflix and chilling, but now there’s no Netflix. Do you not see this may be the end of humanity as we know it?” he asks dramatically, eyes wider than a conspiracy theorist’s. 

“Hmm, not quite the crisis you imagine.” you reply. “Fortunately, there are these magical things - books - which have survived many millennia, and they seemed to have worked just fine for our ancestors.” 

“So what I’m hearing is, our vacation is, in fact, doomed.” Nicholas states as you walk into the hotel lobby, breathing in that delicious, stale air-conditioned air. You stop to bask in its coolness, breathing out in relief.    

“Your vacation,” you correct. “I’ll be paying my respects to my ancestors by reading.” 

“Ugh, well we can’t stay here. What are we going to do for ten days?” Nicholas asks. You wonder if he even heard what you said, but in his current state, you somehow doubted it. 

“You got a better idea?” you raise your eyebrows.

“I’ll build a raft, we can swim off the island.” he suggests. You’re about to lay down the most sarcastic, hard line of the century but the sound of thunder rumbling stops you. 

It was the loudest rumble you’d ever heard in your life and you suspected the lightning that preceded it might have struck not even several meters out of the door you’d momentarily walked through. The thought almost made you faint. 

“If you walk out of that door, Nicholas, so help me god.” you warn, wheeling your suitcase further into the building and away from the windows. 

“Noted.” he replies sheepishly, following your lead away from the windows, almost scrambling after you.  

Needless to say, it starts pouring torrential rain after that and while you check in, you can see the rain drops hammering violently on the window panes behind the concierge desk.

The lady there hands you a small card holder, telling you the keys are inside and you can’t really hear much else of what she says to you but it sounds like the standard if-you-need-anything-ring-the-phone mumbo jumbo so you thank her and go.

Little did you know, she’d warned you.   

You get up to the correct floor in search of your rooms, looking around while you navigate the soft-carpeted hallways. 

“One four three.” you mumble, trying to find the right number. You stop at the end of a corridor and take out the key card. You buzz the door open and push it forward. “Wait a minute-” you walk in several steps and circle back, thinking you’re losing your mind. 

“What is it?” Nicholas walks in, relaxed pulling in both of your suitcases. 

“I think there must be a mistake,” you say. “The suite only has one room. I thought we’d asked for two?” 

“Really?” Nicholas takes a few steps in, sweeping his eyes over the place and sure enough there is only one room. “That’s weird. Let me check with Jun-ge, he’s the one that booked our honeymoon.” Nicholas fumbles around with his phone for a bit, trying to find a signal for a minute. 

You vaguely remembered meeting Jun at your wedding; he was one of Nicholas’ big bro types at the company but you had no idea if he’d known about your marriage being arranged or not. 

Nicholas finally gets the phone to ring and the line crackles when it’s picked up on the other end. 

“Hello?” you hear Jun answer when Nicholas puts the phone on speaker. “Nicho, what’s up?”

“Hey, Jun-ge, quick question, do you remember booking our honeymoon suite?” he asks tentatively. 

“Yeah, is something wrong?” 

“Well, uh, we got here and it’s got just the one room, didn’t I put a note to find two rooms?” 

“You wrote ‘honeymoon suite’ and that’s what I got.” Jun replies, obviously not sensing that that was what was wrong with the whole situation. 

“Yes, Jun-ge, but I also wrote two rooms on the note, right?” 

“Dude, two-room honeymoon suites don’t exist.” you can hear Jun chuckling on the other end of the line. You were starting to regret not booking the rooms yourself. 

“Oh.” Nicholas says dumbly. “Okay, that’s cool, thanks Jun-ge.”

“Alright, kid, don’t have too much fun!” Jun laughs before hanging up. You look at Nicholas, attempting to hold your glare but you reckon it slips out regardless. 

“You wrote what in the note?” you ask, voice steadily quiet. 

“Two rooms.” Nicholas avoids your eyes and scratches the back of his neck, with the guiltiest look on his face.

“‘Honeymoon suite’!” you state, jogging his memory. “You couldn’t just leave that out, could you?” 

“Yeah, my bad.” Nicholas admits. 

“Right, well,” you walk into the actual bedroom part. There’s a super king sized bed that takes up most of the room, and it looks very comfortable. “I’ll gladiator fight you for the bed.” 

“That’s not very civilised of you, YN.” he muses. “Rock, paper, scissors-” Nicholas thinks he can take you by surprise, yelling out RPS unexpectedly, but you throw out your hand as a reflex,

“Shoot!” you finish, giving him a paper to his rock. He groans at the loss. 

“Best of three!” 

You roll your eyes before playing again, throwing out scissors this time intuitively. Nicholas threw paper and then sunk to the ground.

“Hah!” you grinned at your victory. “You should have taken your chances in a fight, but I think I would have won that too.” you shrug, faux sympathy coating your voice. Karma’s a bitch, but so were you. “Enjoy sleeping in the bath.”

“Bath?” Nicholas snaps up and runs off to check. 

Indeed, there was no couch in the suite, only a dinning room set up in the small living space, complete with a TV mounted to the wall and a grand bathroom that separated from the master bedroom. Besides a generously spacious shower cabin, there is a huge white bath in the middle of the bathroom, practically the size of a jacuzzi and though giant by nature, Nicholas would probably fit in it. 

He comes back to find you getting comfortable sitting on the bed, legs crossed gloatfully as you watched your husband lose his mind and it was only day one. 

“Fine. Be cruel. I’m fine. It’s fine.” he says, sounding less than convinced. 

“Is it though?” you smirk, loving the way he’s trying to stomach the loss but failing. 

“Yes. Totally. Fine.”

You don’t press it further but lie back on the bed, letting the mattress swallow you up. Vacation wasn’t so bad after all. You might not have Netflix, but you had a personal drama king right in front of you.  

You didn’t get to do anything for the rest of the day since it was storming outside but you had dinner down at the restaurant and eventually went to bed, or in Nicholas’ case, to the bath.

The next morning, you wake up naturally, blissfully rested and stretch with all the grace of a cat. You slept like a rock on this gorgeous bed and you really had to thank Jun for booking this particular room. 

You get up, quietly, and pad over to the bathroom, the door still closed. You pause, then knock on lightly. “Nicholas?” you ask. 

There’s a sleepy groan on the other side of the door, and then a thud. You panic for a second.

“Hey, I’m coming in!” you warn and work the handle. You find Nicholas in the bath in his pyjamas, blanket half-thrown off and the pillow lying on the floor. That explains the thud. “You okay?”

“Hmm,” he grunts, eyes still closed. He shuffles slightly, pulling the blanket and curling up on his side. 

“Alright, well, good morning to you too.” you mutter and leave. 

A while later, a disheveled Nicholas emerges from the bathroom. It must have been the smell of coffee that got him moving because you’re about to drink your first and hopefully only cup of the day. 

“About time, Sleeping Beauty.” you glance at him. You note he most certainly is not a happy ducky in the morning; there’s a deep frown on his face and his posture is giving an uncanny resemblance to a deflated balloon animal. 

“Hmm.” he responds with another grunt. You weren’t sure when exactly, but some time between last night and this morning, your husband seems to have been replaced with a cave man. The two of you hadn’t crossed paths too often in the mornings, so it was kind of news to you to see him like this.  

You sigh and put your coffee down, getting up to go to the pot and pour him a cup. Nicholas sits down stiffly in the opposite chair and you deposit it in front of him. Instead of trying to make conversation with a prehistoric species, you go back to your book, but you see he drinks the coffee. 

Twenty minutes later, you swap the location and find yourselves downstairs having a late breakfast (you refused to call it brunch), munching on whatever to start your day. 

Nicholas looks more like himself now, but you can sense the obvious discomfort from the way he keeps trying to massage his neck and shoulders discreetly, or stretches to try and work the muscle there. He’s wearing a loose fitting, linen button up and every move seems to expose a lot of skin but while you’re trying to ignore it, it doesn’t mean everyone else is. 

People who are sitting at the neighbouring table are throwing occasional slightly suspicious glances. There are some not so discreet wives checking your husband out and not minding their own and even some pretty waitresses smiling as they pass by. You roll your eyes as one in particular can’t seem to look away as she brings you a plate of fruit.

“What?” Nicholas notices that you’re making a face. He himself seems to be oblivious on the other hand. 

“Nothing. Eat your strawberries.” you say quickly, keeping a poker face. You could almost see the smug look that would appear on his face if you told him people were checking him out, so you stayed quiet.

“Right.” 

Back upstairs, Nicholas perches on the vanity table on one side of the room while you rummage around in your suitcase looking for some clothes. You’re aware of how he’s shifting awkwardly and you stop and turn to him. 

“I’m listening.” you state. Nicholas doesn’t say anything for a moment, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek and then the other side. 

“Please can I sleep in the bed?” he asks finally. 

“Hey, you lost fair and square.” you go back to looking for your swimsuit. Nicholas tilts his head.

“I’m not hearing a ‘no’.” he hums. 

“No.” you say for good measure. “Happy?” 

“Not at all.” he replies. You think he’s going to give it a rest but then a second later he speaks again. “Fine, if I have to sleep in the bath, then give me a massage.” 

“Why me?” 

“Because you’re here.” he says like it’s obvious. “Ooh, better yet, buy me medicine and rub it on my shoulders.” he smiles, hopeful. You knew what he was doing but despite that, it was working. 

You scrunch your forehead, the idea less than appealing to you. You look from Nicholas to the bed, then to Nicholas again, weighing it up in your head. The bed was big enough, you were just going to have to stay on one side. You didn’t want to cause permanent damage after all. (It might scar you for life to massage medicine over his shoulders. And you guess it could do something to his posture or whatever.) 

“Ugh,” you spit out. “alright. You can sleep on one side of the bed.” you specified. “I’m not giving you the whole thing.” 

“Pleasure negotiating with you, Mrs Wang.” Nicholas grins and disappears before you can tell him off for the name calling. 

You get dressed, slipping on your one piece swimsuit and throwing on some shorts, and take your book down to the pool. The weather had cleared up completely compared to yesterday’s torrential downpour and the sun is shining brightly. The pool itself is located in a slightly more sheltered area and it doesn’t look like there was any damage from the rain.

You smile to yourself and find a nice lounge chair to camp out at. You adjust your sunglasses and open your book again to continue where you’d left off. 

“Are your ancestors proud of you yet?” you hear a voice ask before you feel a weight settle near your legs on the lounge chair. You don’t look up at Nicholas, before replying. 

“I don’t know, maybe you should go ask them.” you retort. 

“Oh, I will,” he says. “in like hopefully seventy to eighty years.”

You hum in response, not particularly feeling like playing along right now. Nicholas shuffles about, and you finally look up. 

Big mistake. 

You find him unbuttoning his shirt and shrugging it off his frame. You blinked twice, trying to tear your eyes away from him. 

“Look after this, please.” he says after a moment, indicating to his discarded shirt. It lay half folded next to your bare leg. 

“Sure.” you mumbled. You watched as he threw you an acknowledging half smile and got up. You couldn’t help yourself for a moment; you stared after him. 

It was ground breaking actually. 

You’d not really given it much thought since your predicament was rather serious - life sentence married to a man you didn’t love and all that - but you had eyes and you noticed that your new husband was actually quite hot. 

Who would have thought? 

You clocked the well rounded muscle of his shoulders and back and his toned biceps, and though you avoided really looking (as in, you didn’t pull your shades down), the modest set of abs that graced his torso.

“How novel.” you observed out loud then went back to your book. You didn’t need to ogle at your husband; you weren’t a horny teenager any more. Moreover, this information changed nothing in your life whatsoever. You were still shackled together and sinking to the bottom of the ocean.  

You hear your name being called some time later.

Putting your bookmark in place, you look up to find Nicholas resting on the edge of the pool, his arms crossed and chin resting on top. 

“Yes?” you inquire, taking off your sunglasses to see him better. 

“Can you help me get out?” he asks, looking a little shifty, glancing side to side but there’s no one in your immediate vicinity. Just some people down the other end. You figured it was probably lunch time so it was quiet. 

“Huh?” you’re confused at the request. 

“It’s the deep end. I’m tall, but I’m not that tall.” he admits sheepishly. You guess he must be embarrassed to ask you for help. 

What doesn’t cross your mind is why a) he didn’t go to a shallower part of the pool, b) he didn’t cross to the opposite side and use the ladder!, or c) someone of his stature would struggle getting out of a pool. 

You get up and walk to the edge, extending a hand to him. Nicholas takes your hand in his wet one and you start to pull. 

Except you’re pulling but it’s not working. In fact, the world is suddenly tilting and you’re diving head first into the pool, gravity and Nicholas taking you in with him. You would have yelped but you close your mouth on instinct as you go down so you don’t get a mouthful of water.

The coolness of the water engulfs you suddenly and you struggle to orientate your way up to the surface again. You break through with an angry gasp for air. 

“Wang Yixiang!” you sputter loudly, venom filling up your veins. You hear his laugh somewhere nearby and you wipe your eyes, trying to locate him. He’s a foot away, also drenched, wet hair hanging in his face but smiling widely.

“Here, Sergeant!” he gives you a silly salute and you start toward him, eyes full of vengeance.

“Come back,” you demand after he starts swimming away from you. 

He’s not particularly fast and you manage to grab his hand and yank him back toward you. There’s a lot of water resistance but you’re adrenalised to you manage to get him to change direction. 

“Hey, c’mon, don’t be mad.” he says, well aware that today might be his last day as an alive person. You ignore him and do your best to try and dunk him. It doesn’t really work because he uses your strength against you and the two of you just spin around. You’re off balance and trying to just tread water even though here Nicholas could stand up, which was quite unfair. He stills suddenly. “Oh my god, look!” 

“Not falling for that one, dude,” you say, thinking he was trying to distract you from trying to dunk him. 

“No, really, two o’clock, it’s that man, uh, what did he do again?” Nicholas wracks his brain for a moment. 

“My two o’clock or yours?” you realise he’s being serious and you think to check. 

“Yours. The man with the moustache, we met him at the wedding.” You think back and try to place the description. You’re floating so you manoeuvre around to be able to glance in the right direction.

Sure enough you spot the person Nicholas was talking about. You saw him but he hadn’t spotted you yet.  

“Shit, it’s the tyre guy.” you say. 

“Right, that’s the one.” Nicholas agrees, as if the answer is now clear to him. 

“You had no idea who that man was, did you?” you ask.

“Not a clue,” he admits. “I was grasping at straws. He seemed familiar.” And you realise that it had worked. 

Yet, also it was that man; what was he doing here? Was he on vacation too? From what you remembered he was some business partner on your parents’ side. Your father had introduced you once before and then once at the wedding. 

You freeze, forgetting to tread water. 

Nicholas seems to notice you stop moving and grabs your waist, holding you up so you don’t start to sink. Your hands come up between you as a buffer and slap gently against his chest but you ignore what’s going on in front of you, deep in thought. 

Why was he here of all places? Was it a coincidence? What were the odds of that happening? 

What if your parents had sent him here to spy on you? That was possible right? Surely they wouldn’t do that though, you’d agreed to go on the honeymoon, that was enough, wasn’t it?

Wasn’t it?

You close your eyes, feeling like your sanity was slipping away; it sounded like the type of thing they’d do. Just to make sure you were behaving. 

“Hey, YN, what’s wrong?” Nicholas squeezes your waist, trying to get your attention. You snap back to reality, seeing his concerned face a few inches away from your own. You hand’t noticed how close you were so you let go of Nicholas, breaking out of his grip gently. 

“Nothing,” you say as you swim toward the nearest ladder. 

You were definitely annoyed, your parents couldn’t just leave you alone, could them?

*          

After your early dinner, during which you constantly looked over your shoulder in case you spotted the tyre man, you go back to your room to continue reading. You hadn’t run into that man after all, but it was only a matter of time.  

Nicholas takes the opportunity to shower first after being in the pool, not that you were picky or going to fight him for it. 

The door of the bathroom opens some time later and he emerges with a towel around his head and one around his waist. You try to mind your own business but he’s rummaging around his own suitcase for ages, so damn loudly, might you add, humming and hawing at what to wear. 

You glare in his direction, but his back is to you, and all you see is the excess droplets on his skin snaking their way down his back-

“You having a good time there, Mrs Wang?” he turns around and catches you staring. Your eyes narrow at the name calling and you decide he does it to get a rise out of you, so you don’t give him the satisfaction.  

“I would have a better time if you had the capacity to make faster decisions.” you retort, looking down to your book as he straightens up. 

“No can do, you’d rather me wear clothes in bed, wouldn’t you?” he asks inquisitively. 

“If you dared do otherwise, you would find yourself in a very comfortable chair-” you pause. “in the lobby.” you finish curtly. 

Nicholas raises his hands innocently, giving you a quiet ‘okay’ before going back to the bathroom to get dressed. A minute later you hear the hair dryer come on and another minute he’s back to bug you. 

“Didn’t you finish that book yet?” he asks, trying to see the cover as he went past. 

“No, I started this one an hour ago.” you say. 

“What?” he stops in pure shock. “How many books did you bring?” he exclaims. 

“Ten.” you look up, giving him a tight lipped smile. “One for each day.”

Nicholas looks at you in awe, shaking his head. “YN, you really are something.” he says. “But this cannot be. Your eyes will glaze over, we’re watching TV, c’mon.” he prompts you to move over a little where you’re leaning against the headboard of the bed. 

You shuffle slightly to the right, but don’t let go of your book even as he grabs the remote and switches on the TV. It’s a decently sized flat screen mounted on the wall in front of you, adjacent to the small dinning table. 

Nicholas hops on the bed beside you, mimicking your stretched legs, crossed at the ankles. The noise starts to distract you only because he’s channel flipping for a minute before he settles on something. 

“Perfect.” he mumbles and puts the remote down. You glance up at the screen and see the film name. 

“Really?” you ask, closing your book with a loud smack. “You’re going to watch Cast Away while we are on a remote island on vacation?” 

“No,” he replies. “We’re going to watch Cast Away while we are on a remote island on our honeymoon.” 

“Yes, because that makes all the difference.” you mutter. You give in regardless since the movie keeps playing and you may as well pay attention. 

It’s kind of a long film but it’s not bad. You do at one moment overthink it and imagine what you’d do if you were in the same situation - you were halfway there anyway on this island - but you stop yourself because that kind of thinking was not a good idea. It would scare you unnecessarily. 

It gets to the part where Tom Hanks is trying to get off the island on his raft and loses his beloved friend, the volleyball. You watch as he yells, trying to stay afloat. It made you a little emotional and you look away for a moment only to notice Nicholas is watching intently, his own eyes glassy and lips tight. 

It fascinates you for a moment to see him like that since it was a wholly new side to him but you will yourself to look away, reaching to the bedside and pulling a tissue out of the box, handing it wordlessly to your husband. 

“Thanks.” he says under his breath and you hum just as quietly.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just thinking about the wifi signal.” he sniffles. “I miss it so much.” he admits, raising a fist to his mouth. You nod, as if understanding, when in reality you’d basically popped the champagne when you found out there was no wifi.   

After the film finishes, it’s starting to get late so you pop off for a quick shower, wanting to get the chlorine off your body before sleeping. 

You brush your teeth and put on a t-shirt and sleeping shorts and get to bed. Nicholas joins you after brushing his teeth and turning off the big light. 

“Right,” you say, getting Nicholas’ attention. “Here is a line, it’s invisible but it exists, so stick to your side of the bed, please and thank you.”

“No problem. You won’t even know I’m here.” he nods obediently. “So shall we get to bed, Mrs Wang?”

You stop fluffing your pillow at his silly question and turn to give him a stink face. 

“You’re never going to stop calling me that, are you?” you ask. 

“Nope, not until death do us part.” he shows you a toothy grin. 

It suddenly occurs to you that while you had shared your reasoning for giving into the marriage, Nicholas so far hadn’t really commented on the topic. You frown. Why hadn’t he mentioned that yet?

“That’s weird.” you say, continuing on your train of thought.

“Not really, it’s pretty standard for marriages.” 

“No, not that.” you shake your head. Starting to overthink it.  

“What then?” Nicholas asks as he lies down on his side. 

“Don’t think I didn’t notice there must be something in it for you to agree to this union.” you say sceptically. 

“Pfft. Union. You make it sound so formal.” he replies sarcastically. You notice he isn’t offering any insights.  

“Well, we are legally bound together, unfortunately. I suppose it’s serious.” you reason.

“Yeah, so serious. Like donkeys pulling on a cart.”

“Don’t change the subject.” you quip. “I don’t know what it is you want, but I will find out and hold it over your head like a guillotine.” you warn, annoyed at the sudden suspicious toward the man now in your bed. 

Was this a defence mechanism - getting suspicious as soon as someone got close to you? 

“Can’t wait, ma cherie*. I hope your revolution works out.” Nicholas sighs, turning off the lamp on his side. 

“Impeccable attempt at humour, mon ange*.” you roll your eyes before reaching to your bedside lamp. “And by the way, donkeys pull their own damn carts.” you say, flipping the switch and turning your back to him. 

You fall asleep faster than you expected but it certainly has its drawbacks. 

For one, every once in a while you wake up because Nicholas has somehow managed to roll to your side of the bed and is hogging your area with his giantness, limbs splaying all over you, waking you up. 

You manage to shoulder him off you gently, using your strength to roll him back to his side and it seems he’s a heavy sleeper because he doesn’t wake when you end up pushing him away with your knees. 

You go back to sleep, satisfied that he’s far away enough from you that you can sleep in peace, only to wake up the next morning feeling incredibly warm and suffocated. 

That’s because Mr You-Won’t-Even-Know-I’m-Here has a vice grip on you; one leg thrown over yours and one heavy arm thrown over your waist while his face is tucked into your hair, as if you were one of those long, huggable body pillows.

You open your eyes and reach for your phone to check the time. It was 9-ish so you decide that’s enough anyway. You were going to wake him up. 

“Nicholas?” you say, voice croaky. You shuffle slightly, managing to drop his leg off of yours but the arm stays around your waist. “Nicholas?” you try again, patting his bicep gently. This time he stirs slightly, a low hum rumbling in his chest. You feel the vibration on your back and think you’re making progress. 

It’s difficult but you shimmy out from under his loosened grip and sit up while he automatically rolls on his back, eyes still closed. 

“Unbelievable.” you shake your head, looking down at his sleeping figure, before getting up. He looks way too peaceful and it makes you a little mad. You make no effort to be quiet since he was still out cold and probably won’t wake up for ages so you get ready for the day, make some coffee and sit with your book. 

Some time later, your husband finally decides to open his eyes and you look in his direction when he sits up and stretches, yawning like a cat. 

“Ah,” he exhales gruffly. “this bed is dope, oh my god.” he comments. “Did you sleep well?” he asks nonchalantly. You send a death glare in his direction, making him shrink back slightly. 

“I would have,” you start through gritted teeth. “if you weren’t trying to strangle me.” 

“Huh?” he has the nerve to look genuinely confused. “Did I do something?” he asks, meek all of a sudden. 

“I don’t know if anyone has ever told you,” you get up, getting closer to the bed. “but you are a heinous koala when you sleep!” you say pointedly, before going into the bathroom to get some sunscreen out of your makeup bag. 

“Nuh-uh,” you hear Nicholas call out. He has the audacity to disagree. You’re back out in a split second, listening expectantly. “Apologise to koalas, that was uncalled for.” he finishes. You’re taken aback; you thought he’d call bullshit and say you’d imagined it. 

You huff but ultimately concede; the creatures had never done anything to you personally. “Sorry, koalas.” you mumble and sit in front of the vanity to apply sunscreen on your face.

“Listen, I’m sorry,” Nicholas says, getting up. “I know I’m practically an ogre in the mornings, but I can’t help it.”  

“At least you’re self-aware.” you reply. “I’ll tolerate it for eight more days, but you’re on thin ice.” 

“Alright.” he says, closing the bathroom door. 

*

The next few days, the weather improves significantly and the two of you end up going to the beach or chilling by the pool. You even go to do this snorkelling lesson with an instructor and swim near some coral reefs, enjoying the beautiful crystal clear ocean. 

You also end up going to a spa for some random treatments out of boredom and a massage, which you weren’t too hot on but Nicholas begged you to join him since he didn’t want to go alone. (That and he said that you wouldn’t go because you were comfortable being a tense control freak. So of course you had to prove him wrong by sticking around. It was worth it.)

Another day you end up going out in a boat and fishing with some other guests at the resort. You had to admit, you were definitely having fun despite not having wanted to even go on vacation. Going fishing wasn’t something you’d ever thought about doing, yet here you were.

It’s then that you run into the tyre man for the first time. 

Fishing; you should have known that’s where you’d meet the middle aged businessman.

“Mrs Wang!” you hear a hearty voice greet you when he spots you. You almost grimace - you wished you’d told people to keep calling you by your own family name. Nicholas seems slightly startled next you while he holds his fishing rod. 

“Hi, Mr Lee, what a surprise!” you say, lying shamelessly. You’d been expecting to bump into him before he left. “How are you doing?” 

The man stops next to your spot at the rail of the boat, his own rod in hand and some bait in a bowl in the other. A woman joins him and you remember that’s his wife, whom you’d also met at the wedding. You greet her politely too. 

“Ah, well, we’re just out for some relaxation. You know how it is, can’t be cooped up in the office all the time.” Mr Lee replies. He doesn’t seem suspicious and you sense it could be possible that this was a coincidence and not a conspiracy. But you intuition doesn’t let up.  

“Right, of course.” you nod along. “We’re just here on our honeymoon.” you say, nudging Nicholas beside you. 

“Aha, really wanted to spend this special time in a special place.” he adds smoothly. 

“As well, you should. You’re young and in love, you shouldn’t waste away in an office.” he commends you. Was he testing you? Why mention love at all? What did he know?  

“Very true.” you say. “So, how long are you staying?” you ask casually.

“Oh, um, until Thursday.” he says, and you latch onto the slight air of awkwardness when he says that. You were staying until Friday, which was a little too close to your liking. “We really like it here but there’s no place like home, right?”

“Indeed,” you smile artificially. “Well, we should let you go. Enjoy the rest of your trip, we’ll see you back at home, Mr Lee. Mrs Lee.” you say politely, greeting each of them in turn. 

“Yes, thank you, we will. Y’know, there is a special event being held by the hotel on Wednesday, you should come along.” Mr Lee says. You wonder for a moment if that was bait. If it was then you were going to make him think he could hook, line and sink you. 

“Oh really?” you say, exaggeratedly fascinated. “Well, I guess we’ll have to think about it. No promises though; you know how hard it is to leave the bedroom on your honeymoon.” you drawled with a straight face. 

You hoped he would give that direct quote to your parents and make them as flustered as he looked right now. 

“Right, see you.” 

And with that you exchange some more polite nods, and separate, the Lees terrorised and Nicholas wide eyed to your left as he cast out his fishing rod.

“YN, I gotta hand it to you, you’re really scary sometimes.” he says so only you can hear him. 

“Only sometimes?” you reply, putting the bait on your line. “Guess I should work harder then.”

“Remind me to not get on your bad side again.” he says. 

“Oh buddy,” you sigh. “after using me as a body pillow, you have a reserved spot and VIP access.”

*

The next couple of days, the humidity is unbearable and if it isn’t, then it’s the heat. 

You’d been trying to sleep, but it was just too damn hot and the air con wasn’t doing much to help it. You’d shed any blankets and just had sheets instead, but even those got thrown off. 

Eventually Nicholas pokes you hesitantly in the middle of the night.

“You sleeping?” he whispers. You shift, then answer. 

“I was trying to.” you reply. 

“YN, it’s really hot, can we take off our clothes?” he asks. Perhaps the question would have flustered you if you weren’t completely baking right now. You don’t open your eyes but you nod.

“Yeah, I don’t want either of us passing out from excessive heat.” you agree and shrug off your shorts but realise that you needed to get up and put on a bra or cami since there was nothing under your t-shirt. “Damn it.” you mutter and get up, in search of something to wear. 

You settle on a thin camisole and hop back into bed. Nicholas has shed his shorts and shirt and is lying, just staring at the ceiling in his underwear, his hands behind his head. You don’t let your eyes linger, mostly because they’re too tired and you want to close them again. 

You read the clock on your phone, finding it was just past 4 in the morning. You sigh and lie back down.

Neither of you seems to be able to fall asleep again, the dawn light getting more intense past your curtains. 

“You awake?” Nicholas asks, shifting slightly. 

“Yeah.” you say, turning to face him. You spot the silver chain around his neck and the way it reflects the early morning light.

“What if we’re married for a long time?” he asks in the darkness. “Like for years?”

You wonder what sparked that thought. “We’ll just have to deal with it.” you reply. 

“Yeah, but eventually we’re going to start having needs.” Nicholas glances at you. “Like I’m going to want to sleep with someone and you’re going to want to sleep with someone. Then what? Do we sleep with other people? Do we sleep with each other? How do we get around that?”

The whole train of questions catches you off guard, however with even a second of consideration, you realise he’s raised a very valid concern. What would you do? It made you realise your marriage was more doomed than you’d thought. 

“You’re right. It’s a hard question that I don’t have the answer to.” you lament.

“Right,” he says, pausing for a while. “I guess, for me, I wouldn’t want to sleep with other people - I’d feel like I was cheating on you even if we agreed to go out and do that.”

“Really?” you’re genuinely surprised at the revelation. “You would feel like that even though you have no feelings for me?”

“Well yeah, we’re married and all that. And we’re friends right?”

You find yourself nodding in the darkness. “Yeah, I guess it wouldn’t feel nice to do that to a friend.”

“Would you sleep with someone else?” 

You take a moment to think. “Probably not. I’d keep thinking about you, waiting for me at home, in our house. I wouldn’t be able to do it.” you tell him honestly. 

It strikes you that this was possibly the deepest conversation you’d had so far, fittingly left for the middle of the night. 

“‘Our house’.” he repeats, tasting the words and letting them float up above you and into the early dawn gloom. 

“Strange, right?” you muse. 

“So, what are we concluding on the topic?” he asks, looking at you.

“The jury’s still out.” you shrug, unconvinced. 

“So diplomatic, Mrs Wang.” Nicholas laughs quietly.  

“Will you stop calling me that?” you yawn.

“Nah, it’s fun. You get so worked up about it.” he tells you. 

“So you like raising my blood pressure?” you inquire.

“Well, if we’re going to be married for years, I gotta find a way to entertain myself, don’t I?”

“You are a menace.” you state, no force behind your words. 

“Thank you. Right back at you.”

“Hah, I got news for you. This town is only big enough for one menace, and if it’s gonna be one of us damn it, it’s gonna be me.” you say stoically, but burst out laughing a split second later after hearing yourself back. You were feeling goofy; it was 4am. Nicholas finds it equally funny and laughs with you. 

It was then that you felt like you were finally comfortable around each other, at least enough to be staying up until morning, laughing about bullshit while lying around in your underwear.

Because that’s totally the sort of thing married friends did, right?

*

You wake up, barely conscious and notice your arm is slightly trapped. Then you realise why; you were tucked into Nicholas’ side, your head on his shoulder, hand on his bare chest, feeling his steady heartbeat under your fingers. It would have been a surprise and you would have scrambled off, but your limbs were too tired and too comfortable for any excessive movement.

Your eyes close again, and you let yourself drift off even though you had half the thought about what kind of dramatic reaction Nicholas might have to find you in that position after you’d given him a mouthful about being a koala. In your defence, it was his arm around you keeping you smushed together. 

The next time you wake up, you’re lying on your back, Nicholas still right next to you. You get up quietly, starting to get ready for the day. 

You’d agreed to go to that event thing the Lees had told you about because you’d mentioned to Nicholas that this could be some kind of ploy by your parents and you wanted to investigate. There was ice cream and booze so he didn’t need much convincing really. (Neither did you, if you were honest; you could use a bit of both).

Just as you’re putting the finishing touches of your makeup, Nicholas stirs and yawns loudly before sitting up. He spots you before the vanity, basically ready and checks the time. 

“Jeez, why didn’t you wake me?” he asks, swinging off the bed and hurrying to the bathroom.

“I’m sorry, did you just hear yourself?” you call out to him. “Wake? You up?” you cap your mascara and get up, walking over to lean on the bathroom doorframe, arms crossed. You see Nicholas scrambling about, large form folded over the tiny sink, to brush his teeth at a furious speed. “I would rather go wake an actual sleeping lion up.” 

“Fwine, bwut you clould at weast teth am aalarm.” he says through a mouthful of toothpaste.

“I’m not even going to dignify that with a response, dude.” you walk away, letting him struggle with the mint foam. 

When you get down to lunch (it was far too late to even attempt calling it brunch), you find that the event the Lees mentioned was going to start in just over an hour (it really was late thanks to your middle of the night joint existential crisis). 

After you finish eating, you make your way to the large garden of the hotel where the thing was going to take place. You were walking in blind pretty much, having no idea what on Earth was going on. 

There are at least ten or so tables set up and about twice as many guests, mostly couples by the look of it, seated within the area. There’s a small square mat or something of the sort in front of the tables, supposedly like a makeshift stage. Was this going to be some kind show? 

You spot the Lees just as promised at one of the tables and you start to look for another place to sit, but they notice you and call you over. 

“Shit,” you mutter, automatically reaching to your side to find Nicholas’ hand. 

“Double shit,” he says, taking your hand and lacing your fingers, and you look back at him. “look.” he motions to a poster propped up on an easel. 

You feel like you’re about to find some harder expletives when you read the words written in big bubble letters: 

COUPLES CONTEST 

“Oh my-” you can’t even finish the sentence.

You’d just walked into the adult version of those awkward middle school events that teachers would try to entertain students with.  

“We could still leave?” Nicholas suggests quietly. You want to agree but Mrs Lee is smiling from across the garden at you, sipping on her drink. 

“Too late.” you conclude and start walking to the half-filled table. 

“Well, you don’t know they’re spies for your parents.” Nicholas mumbles unhelpfully. “We might just hang out politely.” 

You reach the table and greet the Lees. You take a seat closest to Mrs Lee and Nicholas away from both of them. You felt like you were acting like protective buffer between him and them. 

“Oh YN, I just got off the phone with your mother-” Mrs Lee gushes to you immediately. “you remember we’re both part of that book club?” she says, as if it’s explanatory that she would be close to your mother. “Anyways, we were talking about how maybe you should join too, it might be fun. You could make friends with the other ladies there,” she suggests, “and between you and me,” she leans closer as if the men at the table can’t hear you. “it’s where we go to get away from our husbands, but shh!” 

You’re having a multitude of reactions under the surface (including searing rage towards your mother, wanting to sink into the ground out of awkwardness, and disappointed smugness that you were right that they were in cahoots with your parents) but you give her a polite chuckle and smile. 

You know she was just trying to be her version of friendly, for some reason that being recruiting you into some kind of married-women-who-don’t-want-to see-their-husbands exclusive club, so you don’t get too mad. 

“Well, I do like reading, but I think I think I like my husband more.” you reply, lightly rejecting the offer. You turn to look at Nicholas, giving him an ‘I-told-you-so’ face while he sighs contemplatively. You were also hung up on the fact that this woman called your mother more than you did, so who knows what other wack ideas she might have. 

“Darling, I don’t think Mrs Wang wants to go to that stuffy book club.” Mr Lee cuts in awkwardly. “Besides, these two are much younger than us, they should go on dates and enjoy themselves instead of boring themselves with books.” 

Oh boy, this was going to be a long afternoon. 

You had a lot to say but you weren’t going to utter a single syllable. Nicholas looks down helplessly, and you guess he’s trying to keep himself from laughing.  

Fortunately, at that pause in your conversation, you spotted two people walking up to the square ‘stage’. They looked like hotel employees, judging from their Hawaiian style shirts, one with a loud tiger print and the other with a large flower pattern. They were carrying microphones and tapped on them to check they were working. 

“Hello?” the flower guy said. His voice came out through the modest speakers set up on either side of the segregated area. He seems satisfied and so does his friend. “Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to our monthly couples contest!” he paused for a polite round of applause. “My name is Boo and I will be one of your MCs today.”

“And I’m Hoshi, your other MC this afternoon. We have a great few rounds of fun lined up for you and an exciting prize for the winning team.” the guy with the tiger print continues. 

“That’s right,” Boo says. “there are three games where each of our teams will compete head to head in an attempt to do the impossible - be the best couple!” 

“Firstly, if you take a look around, you will find our lovely assistant Dino coming around with some name tags; please take one and write your names on them.” Hoshi says. You did notice a guy in a regular employee shirt walking around and depositing said name tags on each table swiftly. 

“Alright, to start off, we have a game that will test your communication skills.” Boo announces. “The game is called ‘scream in silence’; here are the rules…”

You listen carefully as he explained it, even though you had seen this game played before. It was fairly simple so you thought you and Nicholas might do well at it. You just couldn’t believe you were trapped in a middle school dance on your honeymoon. 

“Okay, firstly, we’re going to need to split you up so that we can get through the game faster. Each of us will conduct a round and tally up the scores for you.” Hoshi takes over. Two of them split up the crowd into two and ask for the first teams to come to two chairs facing each other set up by Dino on each side of the area. 

You get split up from the Lees (thankfully) and end up sitting on Hoshi’s side of the garden. 

The game starts and you watch as one person out of the couple starts trying to mouth the correct word to the other as they both wear a pair of large noise cancelling headphones. It’s pretty fun since people are really awful at lipreading. 

You’re the third couple in your half of the crowd and you sit down in the opposite seat to Nicholas, the two of you putting on the headphones. It almost blows your mind how much you couldn’t hear through the headphones, and that was before Hoshi turned the music on. He held up the first word. 

“Lawn mower.” you said, trying your best to enunciate to Nicholas. His face immediately scrunches up, squinting at you from seven feet away. “Lawn mower!” you repeat. 

He mouths something that looks a lot like “Slower!” back to you and you shake your head, sure it was wrong. He tries again but you cut him off, starting to feel yourself becoming competitive. 

“La-wn mo-wer!” you try to break it down but he seems more confused. “Pass!” you shake your head. 

“Fishing.” you say as Hoshi shows you the next word. Nicholas blinks at you.

“Kissing?” he replies, frowning at the word. You weren’t sure how you managed to lip read it but you were sure that’s what he was saying. 

“No, fi-shing!” you attempt to break it down. “Fi-shing!” you were starting to get frustrated, your voice rising in decibels. “Fi-shing!” 

“Missing!” Nicholas tried again. You sighed.

“Pass!” you requested again. The next one was a phrase and it made you hesitate. “I love you.” you called out, just focusing on reading the phrase and not thinking about it. You felt so flustered saying it out loud, your face warming up and blood pressure rising. You didn’t think you’d ever actually say those words, especially not to your husband. 

Nicholas shook his head and shrugged. “I don’t know.” you think he said. You steeled yourself, growing frustrated again, mostly with the appearance of the phrase and the way it mocked your situation. 

“I love you.” you tried again, saying it louder this time, as if he would hear you.

“Above you?” Nicholas said. You looked up, rolling your eyes at his denseness. 

“I love you, you bastard!” you screamed out, lying aggressively, noticing that people in your group were pissing themselves with laughter. 

Nicholas paused for a moment, mouth slightly ajar as the cogs turned in his head. The eureka moment came finally and he clapped his hands together. That got your attention and you perked up expectantly. 

“I love you!” he yelled back. Hoshi gave you an approving sign, telling you you secured a point. 

“And the time is up!” Hoshi declared, raising a hand and doing a slicing action at his neck to let you know since you couldn’t really hear him. You were more than happy to take those humongous headphones off and return to your seat. “That’s one point for YN and Nicholas!” he says while there’s a scattered round of applause. 

You go sit down and try to ignore what just happened. Nicholas does too, watching the game ahead of you.

There’s only one other couple in your group that manages to score a point, one Hanbin and Hao, who were just as tragically terrible at the game but very cute while they played it.

“And that’s the first round over,” Boo announces. “Let us tally the scores - oh my! This was not your lucky day every one, but we do have two couples who scored and are therefore in the lead.”

“Don’t be discouraged everyone, it’s still all to play for.” Hoshi says. “The next game might be somewhat easier. It’s a game to test your couple chemistry; the peppero game!”

You sit there trying to discern what that actually constitutes. 

“What is the peppero game?” Nicholas whispers to you, just as confused. There seems to be an excited buzz around you though because apparently people know what that is or think they might do better at it than the other one. 

“Don’t look at me, I’m just a corporate lawyer.” you whisper back. You never thought that some random game may become your greatest intellectual obstacle. 

It’s when Boo calls up the first group and explains the rules that it sinks in. You watch as each couple takes a peppro stick snack and holds it between their lips, starting to munch on it from both sides, slowly making their way to meet in the middle. The objective is to have the smallest length of peppero stick remaining at the end.  

“So that’s the peppero game.” Nicholas says, dumbfounded. 

“You shouldn’t have asked dumb questions.” you scold him quietly. 

“I can’t help it sometimes, okay?” he hisses back.

Once the first group is finished and the MCs take measurements, they don’t disclose the results before calling the rest of the couples up. You and Nicholas reluctantly step up and face each other. Boo comes around and offers you the pack of peppero and you pick one out, holding it up. 

You have to get quite a bit closer to Nicholas and his hands comes up to rest on your shoulders to hold you in place as you bite on one end and offer him the other. Due to his struggles as a giant, Nicholas has to lean in a fair distance to make it work and you try your best to rise to your fullest height. 

“And begin!” Hoshi calls out, getting the game started. You take tiny bites of the snack, forced to stare at your husband up close because your eyes could go nowhere else. 

Your mouth focuses on not dropping the stick but your eyes focus on Nicholas; there’s the colour of his eyes, they way his eyelashes become more prominent when he blinks at you, and the way you can see your own reflection in his eyes as you get closer. 

Nicholas looks you straight in the eye, your noses just shy of touching and you accidentally bite down harder on the stick, severing it cleanly. 

“Ah,” you breathe, realising your mistake. “Sorry.” 

He lets go of you and takes the stick between his fingers, examining it. There was a lot left, at least 3cm or so. 

You wait for the rest of the couples to finish and hand in your pathetic peppero remnants to Hoshi, who immediately makes a face. 

“Oh guys,” he says then raises the mic. “well we know who definitely lost the game. Sorry, you two.” he smiles apologetically. 

“Now that everyone has had a go, we can reveal that there was actually a penalty for the losers.” Boo says, basking in the crowd’s laughter. 

“Oh lord, here we go.” you mutter. Before you can leave, Boo stops you.

“I’m afraid you’re staying, guys.” he says. “This game was supposed to check your couple chemistry and sadly you had a less than favourable result.”

“Since we don’t want to send you away feeling crappy about it, the penalty is simple and sweet; kiss and makeup for losing the game.” Hoshi tells you. 

You have a serious déjà vu back to your wedding where a crowd was watching the two of you kiss. It makes your stomach twist with eminent embarrassment. Not again, you think. 

“Oh come, don’t look so glum!” Hoshi continues. “Cheer up, let’s give them a hand everyone!” he encourages a round of applause but in your mind it gets worse. 

You’d avoided looking directly at Nicholas but you found him watching you expectantly and you turn to him, leaning in to initiate the kiss. The faster you did it, the better. He seems to catch on and leans to peck your lips half-way. Your mouths barely touch but you did it and smile in what you hope appears a natural way. 

You look out to the crowd, seeing they’re looking back at you awkwardly. Judgmentally even.  

“Now what was that?” Boo questions. “That might have been more pathetic than your peppero, you guys.” he taunts you gently. 

“Aren’t you newly weds?” Hoshi asks, surprisingly observant of the wedding rings on your fingers. “This is your honeymoon, you gotta have more passion than that!” he says excitedly, as if he was the one getting kissed. You glance at him, finding something in his eyes that may or may not suggest madness. You were also starting to think he might have a voyerism thing.  

“Hey, this is peer pressure!” Nicholas attempts, trying to get you out of the MCs grip. 

“It’s for your own good, bro, we’re trying to save your marriage.” Hoshi says to you, microphone not quite picking up all of that.  

“Just a quick kiss,” Boo pleads. “or we’ll feel like we failed you.” 

You can’t help but laugh at his logic. It’s clear that they’re just trying to have fun so you give in, stepping up to Nicholas again, who gives you a reassuring nod. 

You lean in again, eyes closing, willing yourself to tune everything out. One of his hands comes up to cup your cheek, holding you steady as your lips mold over his. You kiss your husband for the nth time; you were losing count but you were well aware that it was a finite number that you could count on your fingers. 

Ignoring everyone seems to help because you relax into the kiss and pull yourself closer to him intuitively, imagining you were back in that tunnel where you’d tried kissing the first time. It was hard to deny it, but Nicholas was a good kisser, whether he had been before you met or it was just that you’d practised together, and this kiss was no exception. 

It was good. 

Dizzyingly good. 

You pull away gently, feeling that you needed air, your heart beating faster than usual. The two of you look at each, unsure when you should really pull away. There’s a momentary silence and then a loud round of applause and you figure that’s a good cue to really separate and hurry back to your seats. 

“Wow, now that’s what you call a kiss!” Hoshi hollered, smiling widely. “Thank you for being good sports, and good luck on the next round.”

You wanted to call it irony. 

That’s what the strangest moments in life contained. You’d been pushed into an arranged marriage with a man you didn’t love, yet you had grown closer despite your circumstance, to the point where physical acts of affection were exchanged between you in public and you weren’t ready to die on the spot. 

So you did call it irony; the fact that you’d been so ready to resent Nicholas from day one but had become friends with him instead. Did friends kiss like that, you wondered. Married ones did, you supposed. 

There was a part of you that wished you didn’t feel the way you just did: as if you wanted to kiss him again. It was bothering you a little, a tiny voice in the back of your head, telling you that no matter what face you tried to pull and pretend to be angry that you’d had to kiss him, you were deep down glad you’d gotten to kiss him again. 

It felt like you were starting to develop a bad habit; the way one piece of chocolate sometimes becomes another, or one episode becomes three, and five more minutes of sleep becomes an hour. You made a note to avoid kissing him for a while, in case you started to spiral. 

It wasn’t a crime to want to kiss your husband but in your case, it could become dangerous.

For now, you told yourself it was probably just liking the physical intimacy that you’d been missing in your life and nothing more. Purely one of those pyramid needs things you’d read about.  

You can’t dwell on it too long because Boo announces the final game.

“We’ve tested your communication and your chemistry, now it’s time to test how well you know each other in a couple quiz!” 

“That’s right, this is simply a game of knowledge about your other half, shouldn’t be difficult, right everyone?” Hoshi chimes in. 

The thought occurs to you that you might be slightly disadvantaged this round since you’d met not that long ago but also weren’t a ‘real’ couple so to speak, but then you remembered the few basic notes you’d swapped between yourselves and change your mind - you might be better equipped than the other couples. 

Boo and Hoshi get each couple to write down five questions and their answers on a different piece of paper and invite each couple to do the quiz in front of everyone for fair judgment. 

You don’t need to tell Nicholas what kind of questions to write down because it was obvious - the stuff from the memos you’d shared. Was it cheating? You wouldn’t think so; technically nothing could have ever stopped other couples from doing the same thing as you. Besides, you were certain other people aimed for questions they were certain their partner would know. 

It was so obvious, it was practically an unspoken rule of the game. 

As expected, most couples do very well, only missing one or two answers, or if there was more, probably because they knew each other way too well and had a wider margin for mistakes and overthinking. 

You sat around waiting for your turn, but you ended up going last out of the whole group. You and Nicholas took to the floor, picking up the A4 whiteboards supplied by the MCs and getting ready to answer the questions. 

You did Nicholas’ questions first.

What was his favourite meal? You could have answered that just from living with him for a few weeks but you knew the official answer. 

If he could eat one fruit for the rest of his life, what would it be? It was so easy, you rolled your eyes as you wrote it down.

What style of dancing had he practiced during high school? Your pen started moving before Boo even finished asking the question.

What was the name and brand of his favourite cologne? This one annoyed you slightly because it wasn’t something you’d explicitly talked about but you had noticed in your shared bathroom at home. 

And finally, what was his birthday and star sign? You gave them the sun, moon, and ascendant just to be sure, memories from your memos. 

You finessed the challenge, giving the audience in front of you a smug finger gun and wink because of them had really struggled with answering their spouse’s questions. While you’re up there, you spot the Lees giving you a subtle thumbs up and you smile at them, genuinely for once. You’d almost forgotten they were there and also spying on you for your mother. 

You hoped they would relay everything they saw today and get her off your back. 

It was Nicholas’ turn to answer your questions and you’d really tried to keep them as simple as possible, asking things like your own star sign, hometown, favourite school subject back in the day, favourite colour (were you in kindergarten? today you might as well be), and your coffee order, which was one of the first memos you’d given Nicholas. 

He aces it just like you did, and you’re a little proud of him for remembering even this much about you. 

“Well, you saw it here first folks, we have another perfect team.” Hoshi announces. “We’re going to ask our other top scorers, Hanbin and Hao to get up here for a tie-breaker.”

Uh-oh. You started to panic at the prospect of more questions and especially because they would be of the unseen variety. 

“You did so well that we’re going to need to get some bonus questions in there, stuff that will make you think on your feet.” Boo informs the four of you. You’ll go first since you’re already sitting there. “We’ll do three questions each.”

This time you’d both write an answer down on the whiteboards instead of the hosts fact checking on the piece of paper. 

It was in that moment, that you accepted you’d already lost. There was no way you’d beat anyone when you’d known each other for like two months.  

“Nicholas, what is YN’s favourite time of day?” Boo asks. You think carefully about what Nicholas might say and try to write an answer down to match it. 

You think simply and thank whoever that it was an easy question. 

You both hold up your answer and check. A wave of relief washes over you.

Nicholas had written 4am on his board, matching yours. It was an obvious one since you’d stayed up that late just this morning. 

Nicholas manages to get another question right (it was about your job title, which almost makes you laugh because could they have picked better questions for you?) but misses the third one because it was simply impossible for him to know. 

“We’re going to get a little spicy now for the final one, if that’s okay.” Hoshi begins. “Where on her body, does your wife like being kissed?”

“Please do keep the answers moderately PG.” Boo pleads you before you write. Your heart is racing because you know this will be wrong.

You write ‘cheek’, hoping it’s generic enough to get you the point, but Nicholas writes ‘neck’ and you throw him a glare. He shrugs innocently. 

“Oh no, what a shame!” Hoshi exclaims. “Very close to perfection, but not quite. Now, let’s see if YN can match or better your score.” 

You’re asked about Nicholas’ shoe size and you think hard, trying to remember if you’d ever seen an actual number. By some miracle, you guess the correct number after taking a little longer to answer the question.

“Right, so far so good.” Boo says, leading up to the next question. “What is Nicholas’ love language?” 

You freeze. 

Not good, very not good. 

You wracked your brain, trying to figure it out on the spot. In the end you write ‘physical affection’ because of the way he never leaves you untouched in bed and hope for the best. Nicholas turns his board around and you sigh at the ‘acts of service’ scribbled there. 

“Oh disaster strikes again!” Hoshi squeaks. “YN, you have one more question before we hand it over to your competitors.” 

“We’re going for another spicy question, as is customary.” Boo continues. All you hear is ‘game over’ in your head, flashing in big red letters. “If given the chance, what is the freakiest public location Nicholas would want you to partake in the act of coitus?”

You felt like throwing yourself down a flight of stairs. 

Translation - where does he want to fuck?

Low key it was a super personal question but also awkward since you were in a group setting, even if you were all adults here. 

You had no idea, so you just wrote down the first thing that popped into your head: ‘balcony’.

“And now, the big reveal…” Hoshi trails off dramatically. You’re so over this and just want to go back to the comfort of your hotel room and hide from the world until you left the island. 

You turn the boards and your suspicions are confirmed. You lost.

Nicholas had written ‘conference room’. 

For a moment, you think about why he wrote that and then it sends you spiralling; you could have easily answered that question with just an ounce of thought. The war room, of course. Why didn’t you think of that? 

“Ohhh, so close yet so far!” Hoshi says. “I’m sorry guys, but that’s three out of six for you, if Hanbin and Hao can get four or more, they win. Thank you for playing, good job!”

You thank the MCs and sit down, watching while Hanbin and Hao got question after question right. They won the round so easily, that it was laughable. 

“Welp, at least we tried.” Nicholas nudges your arm.

“Sorry I messed up.” you say.

“It’s fine, it’s not like we knew any of the answers.” he says simply, absolving you of blame. 

In the end, Hanbin and Hao are the overall winners because they had managed a point in the scream in silence game, a good score in the peppero game and a complete sweep in the quiz. Their prize is pretty fun too - a free twenty-four hours renting a yacht around the island.

“Congratulations! Now, a speech from our winners, please guys, say a few words.” Boo asks. 

Hao seems too stunned to speak so Hanbin takes over, a big smile on his face. 

“Woah, well we didn’t expect to do so well. We only got married in April and we’ve been too busy working to get a vacation, so it’s really amazing to get such a nice surprise. Thank you for playing everyone and thanks to our wonderful MCs!” he wraps up nicely and you applaud, smiling as they both sat down. 

“Lovely!” Boo says when the clapping dies down. “Right, everyone, just before we go, we do have one more thing to announce. We have a runner’s up prize too; a romantic dinner and stargazing experience for two.” 

“Sounds like a treat, right?” Hoshi chimes in. “We can now reveal that our runner up couple is…YN and Nicholas!” 

You hear your names being called and you find yourself confused.

You had scored in the first game, completely failed the second, but managed to get runner up in the third, so it did in fact add up, but it still felt strange. 

“Congrats, you two. See us afterwards so we can fill you in.” Boo instructs. “Well, everyone. Thank you for a delightful afternoon. We hope you enjoyed yourselves as much as we always do. We’ll wish you a pleasant evening and another congratulations to all our winners! This has been Boo…”

“And Hoshi! See you later, folks!” they finish in unison. You had to hand it to them, they’d been very fun hosts and you had had a good time despite thinking you’d be stuck making awkward small talk with the Lees all afternoon. (You were almost sure that being separated from them had been the stroke of luck that had saved your day.) 

“I can’t believe we actually won something. What a weird day.” Nicholas muses as the crowd slowly disperses. 

“There are stranger things in life, are there not?” you reply, tempting him into a philosophical discussion. 

“Nope, no more thinking. We got a dinner to claim.” he smiles.

*  

In some ways it was fitting that your last night on the island would be so special. 

The dinner you’d won was really amazing and you enjoyed the food thoroughly on the balcony of the largest restaurant in the resort. 

You could see the stars between the clouds when they became clearer as the night grew darker. It was worth any momentary embarrassment you’d felt yesterday while competing in the couple contest.

It was getting late by the time you finished your meal so you decided to go and get some sleep since you’d be waking up early tomorrow for your flight home. 

By the time you left the restaurant, a dark cover of dense clouds had converged in the sky and hid the stars from you as you slowly strolled back to the hotel. 

“Aren’t you glad we came?” Nicholas asks suddenly. He’s moving with some energy despite having mirrored the way you stuffed yourself with food. You, on the other hand, were half a step behind, feeling the weight of your decisions, you had no intention of eating again for at least another day. 

You thought for a moment, assessing the collection of good times you’d accumulated over the past week and a bit, then considered for a moment how the hell you were going to deal with getting back to work. Somehow, all the fun you had outweighed your incoming stress. 

“Yeah, I’m glad we came.” you admit. Nicholas is smiling when he glances at you, a little proud he convinced you probably. 

You seem to have spoken too soon because in the next split second you feel a series of rain drops falling on your face and then a rapid succession which gets starts to drench you before you can even react. 

“Shit, you really know how to jinx things, don’t you?” Nicholas comments, squinting as the rain gets harder, but you see him smiling. You’re in the middle of a narrow street and nowhere to take cover.

“You started it!” you reply, infected by his smile. You raise a hand to shelter your eyes from the rain as you look around. There was no one else out.  

“Come on!” he grabs your hand and starts running, dragging you behind him. Your legs start moving against your will and you follow him, hoping you’re headed in the right direction since it’s difficult to see in the rain.

The heavens open up torrential rain on the two of you but as you run in between the rain drops, your hand secured in Nicholas’, you can’t help but laugh when he does. 

You felt so liberated for a moment.

You didn’t think about work, or the fact that the only reason you were here was because your parents had decided to derail your life, you just ran, as carefree as a kid, splashing through puddles, ruining your sundress and sneakers. 

You thought about how you’d only ever seen this happen in movies; how it was some big romantic moment where the leads run and laugh and look all in love as they get drenched, but the reality was that it was exhausting, even if still a little fun, as you tried your best not to lose Nicholas in the curtain-like rain. 

It only takes a minute to get to the hotel and you burst through the doors, startling the nightshift staff at the desk and you chuckle at their stunned then relieved faces.

You’re both panting, you more than Nicholas since clearly only one of you worked out, and you will your lungs not to explode as you catch your breath. 

Nicholas turns to you, face lit up despite the end to your night. “You look like you just swam here.” he says, bringing a hand to your forehead to move the wet strands away. You pause for a moment, surprised by how tenderly he brushes his finger tips against your skin, pushing the hair away. 

“Yeah, well, you look like a wet dog.” you retort sassily despite being short of air. It was true that you both did, drenched from head to toe and to the bone. 

“Okay, I’ll acknowledge it, let’s go shower before we catch a cold.” 

You get back to your room, feeling a little guilty that you’d been dripping all over the hotel’s plush carpets, but you had no choice. 

“You can go first.” Nicholas says, already unbuttoning his soaked through shirt.

“What about you though?” you ask, taking off your shoes. “You should dry off at least, you might get cold.”

“I’ll be fine, just go.” he insists. You’re about to let it go but he sneezes, trying to cover it up with clearing his throat.

“Fine, my ass.” you sigh. “Okay, this is a simple problem so there must be a simple solution.” you say and think for a moment.

You have an idea when you spot the wolf sleeping mask peeking out of Nicholas’ toiletries baggie.

“How about this:” you start. “you take a bath and wear the mask while I take a shower? That way we both get warmed up.” 

“You’re so determined to make me return to that bath, aren’t you?” Nicholas shakes his head but agrees. “Alright, I know my place by now, Mrs Wang.” he finishes by throwing off his shirt, then trudges to the bathroom, swiping the mask in passing. 

You wait for a minute, hearing the water running and the sound of a belt buckle hitting the floor. 

“Okay, you can come in now.” Nicholas calls out a moment later. 

You creak the door open and close it behind you, eyes sweeping over the scene to make sure he was wearing the mask. Nicholas was sitting in the bath obediently, his broad back to you but you could see the mask was over his eyes. 

Satisfied, your hands got busy removing your dress and underwear quickly, leaving them to hang and dry. You padded across the bathroom and hopped in the shower, starting the water.

Neither of you says anything, a less awkward silence than you thought hanging between you but you barely notice because you rush yourself to finish as quickly as possible. You stop the water and open the cabin door, stepping out so you can reach a towel off the shelf. 

You glance in Nicholas’ direction in paranoia and freeze when you notice the mask is sitting on the ledge of the bath. In the process, you drop the towel, which in turn makes a moisturiser fall on the floor with a thud and the noise makes Nicholas turn around.

You lock eyes, his widening in panic.

“Ah!” you both scream when you realise what just happened, Nicholas throwing himself to face forward and you scrambling to throw the towel around yourself. 

“What are you doing!” you huff, incredibly flustered as you clutch the towel to your body. 

“What are you doing!” he demands, just as freaked out.         

“Why aren’t you wearing the mask?” you ask, picking up the fallen moisturiser. Damn your self-care diligence.

“I was washing my hair, I had to take it off.” he explains, sitting rigidly with his back to you. 

“Oh,” you get it now. “fine. Nevermind.” 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to turn.” he says, clearly a bit embarrassed. 

“Whatever, it doesn’t matter.” you shrug, forgetting he can’t see you. 

“Nice tattoo, by the way.” you hear the smirk in his voice and you close your eyes. How did he manage to see that of all things in a split second? 

“You better forget what you saw, or else.” you warn him. 

“I’ll try but no guarantees.” he replies. That was good enough for now. 

“Okay. I’m going now.” you open the door. “I hope you prune up like a raisin.” you say over your shoulder and shut the door.  

You wanted to shrivel up too; become but a speck of dust, not because of embarrassment necessarily, but more like because you didn’t like what you were thinking about. There was a fraction of a second when Nicholas’ eyes widened, that you felt like you wanted him to keep looking. 

You shudder at your own deprivation, blaming your busy schedule for not going out and hooking up with more people. Now you were a mess at the slightest incident. 

You just hoped at least Nicholas would forget…

~

*apartment 520 cuz it sounds like ‘i love you’ in chinese and i couldn’t miss an op. also ‘ma cherie’ = my dear/darling and ‘mon ange’ = my angel literally in french

ALMOST FORGOT TO ADD THIS!!!! for all your meme needs <3

A/N: thanks for reading, feedback is always appreciated <3 I gotta say, i felt just a little unhinged writing some of this, Nicho's too much y'all, i'm not normal about this man. i hope this chapter gave you whiplash cuz same <3

*copyright 2021- © momobani 

momobani masterlist

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Some replies! One about drawing, another one about Ortho, and then some other TWST ones.

Anonymous asked:

Hello Ryu! I hope you and Katsu are doing well. I wanted to ask you: how do you manage to post daily? what motivates you? I just admire how you manage to post quality content every day, I enjoy everything so much! and another question: how do you fight hand pain? I do draw daily, but I end up with hand/wrist cramps and it's worrying me, what would you recommend? Amazing art as always!

Hi Anon! Thank you so much for your kind words.

I actually talked about our motivation and the ungodly amount of sketches (lol) that I produce here! But in short, I’ve always loved drawing, and I spend the majority of my time drawing. Not everything that we post daily is new stuff: we have a big backlog of sketches, and Katsu helps me to manage it. Since I can focus on drawing and Katsu takes care of posting, it’s actually feels easier.

As for the second question, the most important main thing is PLEASE don’t overwork your hand! The moment you feel wrist cramps, take a break immediately, or if the pain is too much, better stop for the day, even if you really want to continue :( I am lucky to have pretty good stamina when it comes to this, but this is also partially because I stop immediately if I start to feel tired, plus never draw after my lengthy timeslot dedicated to drawing is over.

Here are a couple of more things that could possibly help:

Pay attention to the way you move your arm when you draw. Prioritise moving your elbow and using your entire arm instead of just moving your hand and wrist. Also try not to squeeze your pen too much, as it tends to make muscles tenser, at least in my experience.

Take short breaks every once in a while to stretch and do exercises for your wrist. These work nicely, but I also love to just… not do anything with my hand at all for like 5 minutes, to let muscles relax a bit.

If your muscles are tense after drawing, warming them up also makes it feel better. I just hold my wrist under warm water lol But there are better ways to do it.

Oh, and check if you do something else with your hand that might also put pressure on it during the day. If you use PC, for example, and sit in front of a desk, then your elbow should be on its surface (the reason for that is in my first point of this list), otherwise you strain your wrist muscles with that position. This is just an example, but it might help to find other reasons why your hand can be tired even before you start drawing. If not, that’s also fine! Drawing is hard enough to do that kind of damage on its own.

If nothing helps and you still feel cramps, you should of course talk to your doctor about it. Maybe they’ll have better advice than I do. Please be very careful with your hand, these muscles are not the ones that should feel slightly sore after a workout unlike a bunch of others, this strain (and pain) can do irreversible damage to your hand and should not be treated lightly. It’s better to take frequent breaks and draw later than to lose the ability to draw (and do other everyday things along with it) at all.

Take care of yourself, Anon <3

Anonymous asked:

wow a whole shroudcest ask post!!! kissing each of the askers consensual and platonically on the mouth, i love that y'all in this fandom. also agree, Ortho should use his beams as a treat when not allowed to join mature content that has first years, it makes me really sad for him!! Epel is super small and he gets to join????? sometimes he's even ''aged up'' (and stays short and small, i see that) lmao like what, Ortho can't be aged up too? the double standards are staggering

sometimes i assume he's just hard to draw, it's fair when mecha and armor are difficult for some people and i often see those two in won't draw lists in commissions, but also?? you don't have to draw when writing?? at least in writing, he should show up more, i'm doing my part at least in the orthoreader and orthooc tags on ao3. his crotch being bare is a feature, not a flaw.

(related to this post)

I am so happy and shocked that so many people wrote such long and lovely messages!! Everyone GETS IT…

Yeah, Epel also gets to join all the time, but somehow Ortho isn’t! This absolutely isn’t fair lol He would be super pissed about it.

I agree with you though that it is related to his design. Of course, the majority of people who complain about Ortho don’t even attempt to draw him as they aren’t artists, but I think a lot of aspects of his appearance are somewhat… “off-putting” to them? It feels like it’s a very strong word, but: his height, his “heels”, the waist and crotch parts of his gear, plus he isn’t very manly and ikemen-like, instead his appeal is that he is a cutie and sometimes a “kusogaki” type. This is why some people just don’t like him at all, and some people don’t like him and cover it up by saying “awww nooo he is just a baby, look at him, he is a kid right?”

I am happy you’re providing people with written Ortho-related content, Anon 💪 He would be so proud and grateful!

Anonymous asked:

Your chibi lillia just looks so adorable, he looks so chewable

Hehehe thank youuu!! Please chew on his chibi cheeks.

irregardlessly-tish asked:

Have you seen the new design that was announced? (Trying to keep it vague in case people don't know which character it is, I don't want to ruin the surprise lol) From an artist point of view, what do you think? I was kind of disappointed by it… I'm not sure if it's Yana's design or not, her characters have so much personality but this one looks just… so generic? Love his suit, the glasses are a great touch to represent this character's eyes (orlackthereof) but everything else feels so uninspired in my opinion. I know this is the pretty anime boy villain game but this one is just too much of a pretty anime boy and I hate this fluffy pretty anime boy hair...

I have! And I will spoil it so please don’t read my reply if you don’t want to know who it is lol

To be completely honest, I am not sure what to think yet; I kind of want to see the full design and also to see him in action. He does feel very different from Rollo and Fellow&Gidel, and maybe this is one of the reasons why he might feel underwhelming: those guys have very colourful designs and a lot of accessories, plus somewhat clearer silhouette (Rollo’s hat is iconic, Fellow also has a hat and fox ears, and that makes them very distinct right away), and the new guy… it’s hard to tell yet, but I think it’s kind of difficult to make a skeleton design work on the same level both in terms of his monochrome colour scheme and the fact that he is, in fact, a skeleton-like creature.

I know there are a lot of jokes about Gojo that people make (I am one of those people), and I think that some people aren’t as excited for the new guy because of that (the feeling that we’ve seen him around a lot already, because young!Gojo was everywhere very recently). But I do agree with you: the glasses are indeed a very good touch and a very smart addition design-wise.

I am also personally excited to see Undertaker vibes from him, but that’s personal lol

So yeah, I’m not sure for now. I really want to see more of him before making proper judgment. I absolutely see your point though. I think if he turns out to be a fun character, his design elements will also become fun and enjoyable, just in a different way.

[shakirawastaken]

dsmp if....it was taylor swift

i am the biggest swiftie dsmp blog here i am a swiftie i love taylor swift unless she sings new romantics at a show that im not at then i hate taylor swift

dream: paper rings by taylor swift (from Lover)  - i have written a one shot to dream for stay stay stay like a year ago. please read that too amen - i feel like this song lowkey fits him so well??? just like lowkey - cause like man is rich as fuck hes like a CEO and stuff  - BUT let me backtrack - you met him before he face revealed in the middle of the swamp in florida (orlando) - lets use my other post and say you met him in the grocery store SLAY - you “went home and tried to stalk him on the internet” - and obviously couldn’t find anything - but you reached out to him over text and he didnt answer you..bc he was like filming or smth and you were like bruh - but he eventually did answer you and you were like cool - you guys hung out ALOT  - as friends - to the mall as friends, to the cafe as friends, to the movies as friends - you even met his friends...and then you figured out he was Dream  - your relationship was like slaying at this point - you moved in with him! - and at this point now that you know Dream is Dream and is RICH - he showers you in gifts - expensive jewlery, trips to places, the mans love language is gift giving and he def has the $$$ to make that happen! - but one day he was like drunk or smth idk  - and he was like “wanna get married?” - and you were like “LOL sure” - and he, in his lovesick era, talked about the ring he would buy you in great detail - you were flattered ofc and laughed along - the next morning he woke up from his drunk era and was like “did you really mean it” - and you were like “yes!! i like shiny things, but i’d marry you with paper rings whenever you want dream” - and he was like “bet” - and he made paper rings and you drove to the courthouse and GOT MARRIED STOP IT THAT IS ADORABLE AND YOU HAD AN ACTUAL CEREMONY LATER CUTHE MF CAMERAS THAT IS IT THIS IS IT - I WANT TO WRITE THIS INTO A ONESHOT COMMENT “ceo of minecraft” IF YOU WANT IT - runner up song for dream was wonderland btw

george: gorgeous by taylor swift (from reputation) - now LISTEN i was gonna do London Boy - but im saving that for another thing - GORGEOUS FITS and its not just cause george is actually very pretty - this takes place in LA, george is here and you work here  - you also have a boyfriend - lets say you and some of your friends went out to a club one day - so did the dream team tm  - and you just came from a stressful day at work so you did what anyone would do and you drank - enough to get you a bit tipsy - and somehow all the stars and planets and fates aligned and you bumped into mr notfound - and you were like “sorry!!” - and he was like “oh its alright” but he said it british - and you were like “HAHAHAH YOURE BRITISH” and you mocked the way he talked  - you were tipsy alr - and he knows he should have been offended but he couldnt help but smile bc he thought u were cute - you two talk some more and you sober up through the conversation - its cliche but you forget everything else when u talked to him - including your very real boyfriend - and he shoots his shot “do you think i could have your number?” - your eyes shoot open wide and you just groan - “i got a boyfriend, he’s in the club and idk what he’s even doing.” and george is like “oh - but then you just keep going and youre like - “dude if you have a girlfriend im jealous of her” - and he laughed - “but if youre single thats honestly worse” - and he was like “how is that worse” - and you gathered all your confidence and was like “you’re so gorgeous it actually hurts” - and he smiled and said thank you - and you watched as his face moved to sadness - “i dont want to get in the way of your relationship, it was nice meeting you” he says as he walks away - DONT LET HIM WALK AWAY your mind yells at you - but you cant have him, bc youre taken - nothing you hate more than what you cant have - ding - why do all of these suck today guys im so sorry

OH SHIT I FORGOT I WAS GONNA DO STYLE WITH GEORGE UGHHH lmk if you want that

sapnap: you are in love by taylor swift (from 1989)  - you both start as best friends in this scenario - like best friends since high school middle school school  - you talked everyday , hung out everyday - it was natural that you would form a crush on the man - but then he moved to Florida - you totally understood why he did that - but the communication between the two of you died down - and so did your crush, it flickered out - but one day, he texted you - “hey! im coming back to texas for a couple weeks. are you down to hang out?” - and ofc you said yes - you two met up in a little diner, just to cach up  - and it was like you two had never seperated - you were joking around and laughing just like the old times - eventually you two were ordering coffee at midnight as he told you get in the car - he said “i have a surprise for you” - who were you to deny him? - so you got in the car and he sped off to the old dirt road or something where you used to go in high school - shoulders brushing as you two sit in the trunk, he tells you to look up at all the stars - but you looked at him instead, and all your feelings came crashing over you - all you could hear and think about while he drove you home, while you slept was that - “you are in love, true love” - god this SOng THIS SCENARIO - the weekend before he moves back to florida - you had spent the night over, wearing his old shirt as a pajama - burnt toast because he dont know how to work the toaster - you decide to make a move, to let go of your fears on how he’s gonna react - and you kiss him on the cheek - you two spend the whole day being a little more romantic than usual - holding hands, kisses on cheeks, etc - you spend the night over at his house again - then he wakes up in the middle of the night with this look of ?? on his face - you turn to look at him, staring him dead in the eyes - and he stares back, the moon reflecting onto his face - “you’re my bestfriend” he silently whispers, scanning your face for ANY reaction from you - and your heart starts rushing and your head starts beating and all you know is that he is in love with you. and you are in love with him.  - the night continues in a rush of kisses and rushed feelings - he of course had to go back to florida - but now he keeps a picture of the two of you in his wallet - and you see him in everything around you - you two facetime everynight and talk about everything with each other - because you are in love, true love - bonus: when sapnap gets home dream’s like “whats up with you” - and sapnap just shrugs and grins  - “spent some time w my best friend” - “IM NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND?” - dream LMFAOO - can you tell im in love with this SONG quackity (hits different from midnights (the till dawn edition)):  - I KNOW THIS SONG HAS A LOT OF DIFFERENT INTERPRETATIONS OKAY - im very aware of that its all i speculate and talk about - its like that one meme with the guy and the bulletin board and hes like “DO YOU SEE THIS” - but i interpret this song as someone singing to a person (bonus points if theyre a friend) they have a major crush on!!! except their crush is dating someone - and you can tell that the person they are dating aint it for them - its giving you belong with me - in this, you’re quackity’s neighbor - and you two have lived next to each other for a while  - to the point where you two have become kinda good friends! youd eat dinner together, have some movie nights, etc - you could say you know him pretty well - well ig you didnt know him as well as you think - one night you knock on his apartment door, looking for someone to hang out with whatever - ignore that you had a crush on him that you were actively suppressing - and his girlfriend answers the door all nice like “hi! how are you!” - and youre like “im good, are you?? who are you?” - and quack pulls up behind her and is like “OH meet my girlfriend!” - and youre like “oh! nice to meet you!” - then you shuffle back to apartment ASAP - suddenly it hit you that the person you had a crush on was unavaliable - and suddenly you felt the anguish that comes from him being in love with someone else - it made you wanna throw up - you call another friend up and meet up at a bar, ready to drink your sorrows away - and the bar you go to is playing the song you and quackity listened to everytime together - you groan and explain everything to your friend who’s just like “oh my! love is a lie, don’t worry - it happens to everyone” just to get you by - but you knew this wasn’t like any other time - youve been so willing to move on in the past - it hit different this time because it was him - you drink so much you start slurring his name and your thoughts are plagued by him - someone puts you into a car and sends you off to your apartment - you slump onto your bed, and fall into a restless fit - dreams of his hair, and his stare, and his sense of belief. of times you once believed he could love you.  - you dreamed of you melting his world like an argumentative, antithetical dream girl - the next morning, you hear a key turning in his door  - and you cant help hope but hes coming in to check on you - so you rush to open the door - he jumps and looks at you startled - “hey! my girlfriend and i heard you come in from the bar last night! must have been a wild night!” he chuckled, wishing you the best of health as he retreated into his apartment - you stare at the spot he was just standing out, letting out a big sigh as you groan, your hangover catching up with you - “catastrophic blues, moving on was easy for me to do. it hits different, it hits different cause its you”  - be glad i didnt pick “youre losing me” for this cause damn

karl (invisible string from folklore): - okay. i have already written a karl one shot. to holy ground by taylor swift. from red (taylors version) please go read after this. amen - okay - THIS OSNG THIS GOSNGS ITHSIGHSDJKFG - i cant get over the childhood best friends to lovers shit - but i dont think youre childhood besties - you just met when you were younger - its giving karl lives in a place where your family used to take you on vacation every summer - like to ur grandparents place or some white shit like that - every summer, you would go to the park, read and then go get fro yo at the shop near by - every year growing up, youd read stories of epic romances - and you couldnt help youd meet somebody there, sitting in that park - then, they year you were 16. you went into the fro yo shop. same as always - and there stood a 16 year old karl, in a teal shirt, asking you what you wanted to eat - there wasn’t anyone else in the store, so you two talked. and you two clicked instantly.  - you went back everyday for that year - and did the same every summer after that - until one summer, you told him that you were moving to LA. to pursue your career - and he finally gave you his number - when he finally got around to going to LA he called you up - and you two reconnected, just like the old times. ate at your favorite dinner spot and everything. you decide to try something more - so you date long distance - three years later, you two meet up at the old yogurt shop. and then got lunch down by the lakes - now, years later you two live together. in the same small town you vactioned in every year - you two walk the park you read at every day - karl owns the yogurt shop you two met at  - and you cant help but think that even through all the bad things that you had in  your life - the only good thing that was stringing along for most of your life was karl - karl made you less vengeful of the boys youve loved before - karl made you better. and you made him better - the both of you cant help thinking about the wonderous time, and how pretty it is to think about how “all along there was some invisible string” tying the two of you together - i feel like i coulda expanded here but i think its cute idk sorry guys

wilbur (begin again from red (taylor’s version)): - i think i got a different era for each person SCORE! - wilbur is sOOOO evermore and red coded - but not 22 or ikywt coded but all too well and the lucky one coded - you had recently gotten over a breakup and were ready to start dating again - and a friend of yours hooked you up with this guy from her office - who she said “does not do typical officer work” - you ready for anything, so you thanked her and took her offer - and now the date of your date is here, and you couldn’t help but be nervous - you critiqued and critized every small bit of you, just like your ex did - but now youve grown to love what you wear and what you look like - you blasted your favorite song that he seemed to hate as you walked out the door, as ready for this date as you could ever be - you walked to the cafe that you decided to meet up at, expecting wilbur to be late - imagine the soft surprise that took over you when he stood when he saw you, waving to you as he strode over to meet you halfway - “hi” you said breathlessly, surprised at the common decency he showed you - “hey” he said slyly, making small talk with you as he ushered you over to the table he saved - he pulled your seat out and everything, helping you take your coat off. he doesn’t know how nice that is - while you’re talking you tell some stupid joke, trying to ease your nerves - and when he throws his head back laughing like a little kid? youre done for.  - for the past 8 months you could only think about how love breaks and burns and ends - but on a wednesday, in a cafe. you watched it begin again - you cant help but smile back, agreeing to a second date - you meet up for a second date, this time in a record shop.  - you two talk about your shared love for music - and he’s like “ive never met anyone who as many los camp! records as i do” - and you were like “bet!” - turns out, you two have the same amount - you two walk around the city, exchanging stories about your lives when he suddenly teases you for being shyer than on your first date - you jsut blush and nudge him teasingly while rolling your eyes. and he laughs again.  - your ex never did that. he was never carefree, kind, and careless around you - but wilbur was. and your idea of love just grew and grew and grew - he walks you to his car, and the words about your ex are on the tip of your tongue. youre about to tell him about how different he is than your ex and how grateful you are for him - but then he cuts your thoughts off, launching into a story about him and tommy - and you find yourself wanting to talk about that instead - you can finally say what’s past is in the past - because on a wednesday, in a cafe, you watched it begin again.  i love taylor swift. i could do so many more of these. please tell me if you want

[shallowseeker]

okay so, yesterday I found your spn meta by chance and fell in love with them 'cause more than writing they're like images, like they really depict things and I just immediately understand what you mean instantly + I started to rewatch Steve Yockey's episodes 'cause I feel like I like his writing (lots of queer! lots of rom-com references! but it's all done so intellingently, I love it!) but ALSO sometimes it doesn't translate to me + I just saw you wrote about "Optimism"= I GOTTA ASK: what's your take on "Optimism"? I don't understand what the Zombie story and the Musca one should reveal about the characters. Visually, it looks like the Musca = Charlie, so Harper and the zombie are ??? I'm mad at myself 'cause I don't seem to get what the show is telling me so I'm hoping you can share what the show tells YOU and, vicariously, I can get it as well (lol). THANK YOU!

Hi! Hello!

Oh, really? That's so cool. I still have trouble thinking of myself as a "meta writer." I don't mean to be. I just like to ramble. But cool! It's probably mostly that we think alike and are sympatico in some key ways. :-) Always fun to find kindred spirits!

///

O P T I M I S M

I have so many thoughts on Optimism. It's one of my fave episodes! I actually did a re-watch-slash-convo with some friends on Discord and just transcribed the very, very, very LOOONG bulk of it today!

I haven't written much on the Musca. After spending a lot of time of @scoobydoodean's blog, I've just about decided the Musca plot is actually a Sam's emotions-through line more than it is a true dark mirror. Even AU Charlie is cheeky about it:

AU CHARLIE (annoyed at Sam, about the Musca): Your nifty metaphor has holes.

Basically, Charlie is saying that mirrors aren't one-to-one, and that trying to force-fit them into being one-to-one can be super annoying sometimes.

//

CHARLIE - Every two hundred years there is "bad egg". When a male fails to find a mate, he abandons his community and starts using peoples bodies to "nest". Binding them together with a viscous goo. And when the goo fits...

//

The Musca/fly is at face-value:

A) A bodysnatcher plot: In that regard, it could be like all angels, demons, or anyone inhabiting a body. (Cas, Lucifer, Michael, Crowley, etc.) Ergo, it's a dark, uncharitable Cas mirror the way Dave Mathers outlaw wraith was in Tombstone. It could be saying that Cas "failed" among "his own people" and cruelly took up space in a human body. But that would be grossly oversimplifying the whole situation, saying that Cas "should have stayed with his people," which ofc doesn't work.

It, as Charlie says, "has a lot of holes." @ilarual has written a lot about the totalitarian structure of Heaven. And Sam himself wants Cas around. As far as metaphors go, it's a dud for Cas.

B) It's a failure to thrive plot: Because the Musca "failed" in The Real World with its Own People, perhaps failed to live up to The prescriptive Dream of Success (TM), now it's wreaking havoc on others.

Sam himself "failed out" of Harvard. He "choked." Kevin Train and Patience Turner are also Failed Gifted Students. Losers who didn't live up to their potential. This could even apply to Chuck, binding together his characters because he's a Loser with a capital L.

///

ANYWAY, I feel like the Music plot is a "red herring" for a few reasons.

One: The main Harper plot is about breaking narratives, about not relying so much on books. And then Charlie says this:

CHARLIE: Goo. So, yeah. I'd say this is the right place. Now, I'm just trying to figure out what we are dealing with. Thus, books.

Aside: Later Cas says sarcastically in Ouroboros that Sam and Rowena, "Have many, many books."

So, there's this niggling indictment of trying to find too much truth in books...

///

Two: Sam has a tendency to see something and, like, imprint on it. He tends to fall into "It's just like me!" instead of speaking frankly about the present situations and emotions.

*In American Nightmare, he sees Madga Peterson, an abused child* -> "She's just like me!"

*In Somewhere in Between Heaven and Hell, he sees someone lying about something completely unrelated to his current situation* ->"Omg, they're lying to them, like I'm lying to Dean! It's just like me!"

*In Lost & Found, he meets Jack Kline, who is Lucifer's son "OMG, he's just like me!" -> *spoiler alert* Jack is not in fact much like Sam at all. -> Sidenote: instead of speaking frankly about how Dean is grieving, how Lucifer killed Cas and likely killed Mary, he uses complex euphemisms with Jack, ones that actually obscure the reality of the situation! This winds up annoying Jack and making him pull away from Sam.

///

IMHO...Sam isn't...naturally all that great with emotions.

He tries really, really hard, and he loves patterns, but he's always seeming to force-fit situations and scenarios into neat little boxes so he can passively-aggressively use it to indirectly communicate something he feels about himself.

He has a very cognitive empathy style. Bless him.

///

So what's REALLY going on here?

Well. In this episode, he wants Charlie to stay. He wants Charlie to stay and fill a void the other Charlie left behind. He wants Charlie to stay really, really badly. And he beats around the bush about it.

At first, he sidesteps his own emotions by passive-aggressively implying that it's Dean that in fact needs her.

CHARLIE: He'll be fine. Your brother, I mean. He's got other friends, right? SAM: Plenty. Uhm, he used to have a pretty damn good wingman. CHARLIE: So call that guy to check on him. SAM: That guy was you. CHARLIE: No, it wasn't. SAM: Right, I, uh, sorry. I didn't mean that.

And then by trying to make the case fit her.

He's very indirect and weird about it. Because he's Sam. (It's a contrast to the effortless, awkward-but-honest communication style we see from characters like Jack and Dean in this very episode.)

SAM: Charlie, you can't just quit and go live on a mountain somewhere. People need people. CHARLIE: Why? Cause they're the luckiest people in the world? SAM: Look, come on. We just do. We're social animals. CHARLIE: Emphasis on animals. SAM: Yeah, but you're also a hunter. The things that we've seen, it's not so easy to just walk away from it all. Believe me, I've tried. Our Charlie tried. CHARLIE: Yeah, well again, she ain't me. It's my life, Sam. Not hers. And not yours.

Ah, yes. Instead of saying, “I want you here,” it’s, “people need people.”

And Hell, sometimes indirect communication works! Like how Dean and Cas use Felix the snake to indirectly communicate with Jack in Peace of Mind!

But the difference with Sam is...he's not using this indirect communication style to find out how Charlie feels (the way Dean and Cas use the snake to suss out how Jack feels).

No, he's using the whole thing to try to tell Charlie what he thinks is best for her! To tell her things, not find out things.

Eventually, he breaks and says what he actually thinks, but only after AU Charlie is starting to lose her patience with him:

SAM (faux-sadly): Got to say, I do feel kind of bad for the Musca. I mean, he could have been happy if he'd stayed with his people. Didn't have to go off on his own just because... CHARLIE (exasperated): Okay, I get it. I am just like the bug and I shouldn't go out on my own.

OMG, Sammy! It's okay if we want to hit Sam sometimes, right? I too wanted to hit him after he said this to Charlie.

CHALIE: But your nifty metaphor has holes. I wasn't looking for love. I found it and I lost it. And I didn't kill people and literally nest in their body parts so...(Scene cuts to other Musca removing the body of the dead one) SAM: Okay, yeah I know, I know, How about this? Don't leave. 

(Aside// I think this is a cheeky nod to the fact that Cas and Dean weren't looking for love either. In fact, they tried (and keep trying) really, really hard not to love each other. Their real life was faaaar more complicated than some simple "bodysnatcher plot.")

But thank God--Sam finally says outright what he needed to say to Charlie: Don't leave.

Now, it probably would've been better if he's gone a step further: "I don't want you to leave," but for Sam, this is pretty good progress.

SAM: Hear me out. Sure some people can do bad things when they're desperate or scared. But the guy we just saved, he has a wife and children. I'm not saying that all people are good people or even that most people are but if we help people then maybe they'll help people and all that. And that's worth it. Even with all the tears and death. It's worth it. CHARLIE: Just to be super clear, I am not like the fly monster. (Sam chuckles) But, I'll think about staying.

So I think OVERALL the Musca plot is really about highlighting Sam's difficult communication style, and I think it's intentionally being cheeky about it how it's using a "really "dumb metaphor" with gaping holes!

It's about how Sam tries to force-fit the case of the week into saying what he wants it to say...instead of just saying it.

///

I think Sam has a little bit of a "mental main character syndrome." He sees a scenario and moves directly into cognitive empathy, reading the situation and thinking:

How can I apply this to myself? Or make it a stand-in for either something I want to believe about myself or a stand-in for something I want to say indirectly?

Sometimes you'll see ppl insist that Sam is the "MC" because every storyline tells you "something about Sam." But I'm more in the camp that it's Sam's inherent cognitive style of empathy at work, desperately reworking anything and everything to make it apply to himself.

Whereas Cas and Dean (and Jack) have a truer emotional style of empathy, connecting with people for who they actually are, as they are.

That's not to say that both styles can't be manipulative when we want them to be. But Sam really struggles with his style in a way I feel like Dean and Cas do not. Dean and Cas perhaps don't even realize what effective communicators they actually are!

///

My other thoughts on Optimism:

[ggreactionsandscenarios]

insomnias are starving for content lately! or maybe its just me lol. anyways, when you have time ofc can you write dreamcatcher yoohyeon x reader (8th member) soulmate AU where you get the same bruises as your soulmate. Reader, who's soulmate is very clumsy cuz she keeps getting bruises from nowhere, gets added to dreamcatcher. yoohyeon instantly falls for her so she becomes even more clumsy in front of her, making them finally understand they're each others soulmate? sorry if this is confusing :))

Yoohyeon x Reader

Clumsy soulmates

You walked towards the practice room the guy at the front desk directed you to. Feeling determined to show a good first impression to your now members.

You were the lucky trainee that got themselves added to the already existing and amazing girl group Dreamcatcher.

You were pretty confident because you knew the girls had a say in your addition to the group.

They saw what you were capable of and were satisfied, which was already a great accomplishment in itself.

As much as all those thoughts should have made knocking on that door easier, turned out it did not. You were frozen in place trying to cheer yourself up.

"Come on Y/N, you're going to have to see them at some point might aswell be today."

You held your breath and knocked.

Jiu opened the door, while trying to maintain the calm in the room.

"Guys, silence please there's someone at the door."

She then turned to you, giving you her brightest smile.

"Hi."

You kept yourself from getting silent because of how hard you were fangirling.

"Hi, I'm Y/N."

You really hoped Jiu knew who you were because you didn't know if you would be able to say anything else.

You heard some rumming around behind Jiu and your name being repeated a few times. Then suddenly Yoohyeon popped her head from the back trying to get a better look at you.

As she was jumping to see past Jiu your eyes locked before she fell miserably on the floor.

"Oh my god, is she okay ?"

Jiu turned just enough to see it was Yoohyeon.

"Oh don't worry you'll get used to it, anyway welcome in Dreamcatcher Y/N."

And with that she let you in.

Without really realising what you were doing you rushed to Yoohyeon side to make sure she was okay, the fall seemed kind of rough.

"Hey, are you okay there ?"

She was still on the floor, she learned the hard way that sometimes it's better to stay put for a minute before getting up after a fall.

"Yeah don't worry, I kind of hit my arm but it's okay."

You nodded silently, waiting for her to be ready to help her get up. After a few minutes she was and held your arm for leverage.

Once she was safe and steady, she noticed you had a slight bruise over your arm and brushed her thumb over it.

"Clumsy too ?"

"Oh i didn't notice, well maybe I am."

You both laughed at that.

You were very aware that you weren't alone in the room so you forced yourself not to keep staring at your bias. It was hard.

You got yourself engage in a conversation with everybody but you did stole a few glances towards her.

Somehow during that same conversation Yoohyeon proceeded to hurt herself not less than three times more.

She tripped on her own foot, two times and almost fell when she tied her shoe. Luckily that last time you grabbed her before she could fell but she did bite her tongue because of the shock.

And that's before practice even restarted..

While dancing it got worse, at first it was okay but as soon as you got added to the dance it started going downhill.

She fell multiple times, stepped on a few toes and smashed her head a couple of times against Siyeon, luckily the later has a strong skull.

"Are you doing it on purpose today ? You're extra clumsy."

Sua complained, caressing Siyeon's head which got smashed one more time.

"Of course not, I'm sorry guys."

Yoohyeon was ashamed she sat on the other side of the room, her head hanging low.

You decided to go comfort her.

"You shouldn't get close Y/N I keep hurting people today."

You sat right next to her.

"I'm not afraid, I probably tweeted 'Step on me Yoohyeon' back in my fangirl era. At that point it's just manifesting."

She laughed at your confession, you should be embarrassed but you were just happy to have lightened the mood.

"Fangirl era ? Is that so ? And when was that exactly ?"

You looked at her, faking thinking about it.

"Yesterday ?"

You joked and were happy to see her smile, she had loosened her grip around her knees. Probably feeling more relax than earlier.

You just sat there in silence listening to her laugh until she took a solid look at you.

"Oh my god what happened to your head ?"

You looked at her bewildered, not knowing what she was talking about.

"Did I bump into you too ? I don't remember."

She was inspecting your scalp and you did feel the stings of a bruise growing there.

"You didn't.."

You were starting to understand what that could mean while Yoohyeon was still clueless.

You took a look at her arms and legs comparing them to yours, your suspicions got stronger when you saw that her head had actually grow bigger on the same side as yours.

"Yoohyeon?"

"Hmm ?"

She was busy looking at your head.

"Yoohyeon look at me."

She looked at you, her eyebrows furrowed.

Without saying a thing you pointed out all the bruises you had in common. But it wasn't enough for her to realise what you were implying.

"We're both covered in bruises so what ?"

You sigh, you didn't want to have to say it.

"Did you see me fall today, or bump into someone ?"

"I don't know maybe ? To be honest I was more often on the floor than anything today."

"I didn't because I'm not a clumsy person Yoohyeon which means that me having the exact same bruises as you can only mean one thing."

You saw how her eyes widened.

"We're soulmates."

You both look at each other in shock before turning your heads away blushing like high-school girls.

Hi, hope you like the request 😊 take care -Ael

[casper-the-rose]

Hiya!! The name is 🇵🇱 Anon!! Its nice to meet ya!!

I have a little request for you!! I thought of this one, and i thought why not send it to someone so here i am!! but feel free to delete this anytime if its to intense but anyways…!

Could i request Eddie Munson or Gareth with a Famous! S/O? (Maybe… something like Elvis Presley Famous? Where girls are all over them, and etc, its from that movie, it was really good so i would suggest watching it so it makes sense and etc)

Thats it!! I can send more later on lol, but thats it!! Thank you :D

Im sorry it took me so long to get to this request, but i'm finally back in a writing mood!! Also i did not watch the elvis movie

Fame has its price

Gareth Emerson x Famous!S/O

Mostly fluff, but at the end kinda angsty? I might try and write something similar later but with Gareth as the famous one and it leans more heavily towards angst.

Warnings- cursing more towards the end, also at the end the reader gets "hugged" by an adult fan without consent- very brief though im pretty sure

1.4k words

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕🥁💀💀🥁💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Your laugh.

God it got him every time.

"Good night New York City!" You were announcing to your crowd of adoring fans, smiling through your sentence.

As long as Gareth could remember, music had brought you two together.

First time you met?

Kindergarten battle of the bands. Both of your practically clawed each others eyes out trying to get to the kiddie drum set. Who would've guessed that would lead to a 10+ year long friendship? Well, technically 12, but it's not like anyone was counting. Especially Gareth.

In middle school everyone in the crowd watched in awe as you sang your heart out during the school's talent show, obviously winning first place.

And there were times when Eddie even begged you to sing for Corroded Coffin, just one song. And of course when he couldn't convince you all Gareth had to do was ask once.

You would do anything for him.

Including convincing your agent to let Corroded Coffin open all your shows for your most recent tour across America.

Gareth's eyes darted back up to you on stage, looking around for the sign it was clear to make your way off while people tried to claw their way onto it. You were still smiling and waiving, but Gareth could see the tenseness in your smile.

But that was something to worry about another day.

Right now most of security was busy pushing teenagers and even some adults back from the stage. You tried your best to not visibly back away, but it was still necessary if you didnt want to be clawed at and pulled off the stage by strangers. Fame had its price, and a heavy one at that.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Look Eddie, as much as I would love cheap, greasy gas station quality pizza at the moment, I really don't feel like being torn apart limb by limb for even daring to appear in public." You sighed, after Eddie had spent the last 15 minutes trying to convince you to go out with him and the band.

"Don't make me do it Y/N," Eddie warned, glaring at you.

"Oh you wouldn't dare." You glared back.

"Emersonnnnn, theres something I wanna ask youuuuuu!" Eddie shouted, before glancing at you and smirking.

"Don't believe a single word out of Eddie's mouth Gare! Its full of lies!" You shouted back.

Before you knew it Eddie was running out of the room you were staying in and practically slammed Gareth to the floor trying to get a hold of him.

"Ow! The fuck was that for?"

"You agree Y/N over here should treat themself to a little slice of commoners pizza before we have to get back on the road right? C'mon man all I need is for you to ask them once, hell not even ask ask, just allude to it and- "

Just then you ran into the room, out of breath.

"How the hell are you so much faster than me Munson?" You wheezed, hands on your knees.

"Too late Y/L/N! I've already asked my good pal over here too-"

"How about we have something delivered here and have a movie night?" Gareth cut Eddie off with a sigh.

"Hmph. Guess thats a good compromise." Eddie muttered, but still crossed his arms.

"See Munson? My amazing boyfriend can't be tricked by your lies and deception. And he's always looking out for everyone involved." You smiled, before hugging Gareth from behind.

"Anything for my lovely partner. It would be really inconvenient to have to stitch all your body parts back together after you get torn to shreds by an adoring mob." Gareth smiled, turning his head to look you in the eye.

"No one else I would rather have sew my body back together."

"And no mob could ever adore you more than I do." Gareth said, before leaning in to kiss you.

"Ew! Get a room you two, before I call the paparazzi." Jeff groaned, having walked into the room at a considerably awkward moment.

You rolled your eyes before turning to Eddie.

"So, what place are you gonna order pizza from?"

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Wake up sleepy head." Gareth said, before nudging you a bit.

"I'm already awake." You muttered, but still didnt move from your position under the bed sheets.

"As much as I would hate to do this lovebug, if you dont move soon i'm gonna have to pull the covers out from over you, leaving you exposed to the harsh element known as the ceiling fan-"

You dramatically gasped. "I thought you loved me?"

"More than anything, but that does mean I have to do what is best for you sugar."

You groaned, but sat up.

"Is this good enough?"

"For now, but you know you'll have to get dressed soon enough. You sure you want to walk today and not just get a cab or something?"

"Yes Gare Bear I'm sure. It's not that long a walk anyway."

"Still don't get why the bus can't just pick us up here." He muttered.

"They say it would draw too much attention to the hotel."

"Yeah because us having to walk there wouldn't."

Gareth gave you one last hug before leaving the room.

~~~~~~~~~

"The great outdoors don't seem so great anymore." Eddie muttered.

You all were stopped on a sidewalk, on account of you practically being swarmed by fans to sign autographs and take pictures. Some people were even trying to seemingly jump on you, and others were clawing on your clothes just so you would turn their way.

Some people were talking to the Corroded Coffin boys, much to Eddie's delight and Gareth's annoyance, but you were definitely the star of the show.

You turned and gave Gareth an apologetic look that said 'I really did just want to take a walk' and he shook his head knowingly.

"Okay, I'm gonna have to wrap this up soon. Sorry guys but-"

Just then someone pulled you by the shoulder and by impulse you turned around, only to crash into what you realized was a man who was much bigger than you's torso.

"Um, excuse me sir- I-I don't know what you're trying to do here but-" You stuttered as you tried to wiggle free, not even being able to look around.

Fuck, fuck fuck fuck. That was the main thought going through your head right now.

"Hey, you're a real pretty thing huh?" The man started, cutting you off.

"How about y-" Before the man could even finish his sentence you found yourself being pulled free and arms wrapping around you tightly, but this time you welcomed the embrace.

"Listen here you sick little fuck. Does this get you off? Trying to kidnap underage musical sensations in broad daylight in front of witnesses and bystanders?" Gareth started, and you realized the rest of the band members were standing around you. You also realized most of the people that were there before for autographs and whatnot, had left.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll fuck off and never speak of this again. Or hell, even pay to get a ticket for one of their shows. Got it?"

"Yeah creep. 4 against one." Eddie chimed in.

You noticed the man say something under his breath, before quickly looking around and leaving.

You let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding.

"A-are you okay Y/N? I swear to fucking god if anything bad happened to you on my watch I-I- I don't know what I'd do." Gareth let go of you and walked in front of you so you could look him in the eyes. You noticed he was on the verge of tears.

"I don't know Gare." You sighed.

"Do you wanna keep walking? Or just get a ride?" Jeff asked, concern in his voice.

Everyone was looking at you with worried eyes, but it didn't bother you as much as you would've thought it would.

Fame has its price sure, but you have people watching out for you.

Not just hired security guards, or brands who just want to make money off of you talent.

No, real people who know the real you, and really care.

Especially Gareth.

And you were okay with that.

"I think we can keep walking."

With Gareth's arm around your shoulder and Eddie leading the way, you all walked to the tour bus, prepared for your next destination.

And you had a sense everything was gonna be alright.

[torialefay]

First of all, wishing you all the best of luck on your assessment🍀🍀🍀🍀

Second, mad agree with you on the hair post like😊

Third, coming from a lower middle/middle class area, i have never met a single person who was financially "normal" to this area or on the poorer side who would dare throw their electronics like chan has before. Even if they got richer later, old habits die hard, and you learn the value of money. I mean, I've seen people toss or flip their phone softly when bored, but never that hard or with a laptop or something, holy shit. You can tell a lot about someone by their interactions with not only people, but everything. The amount of times i watched an idol and went "🫵rich kid attitude" is kinda funny. And i totally agree with all the asks that came in between you and your mutuals and some anons, skz are all mad hardworking, but i dont think you can or should ignore or cover up the fact that they had the financial help and the resources to learn more and give them an advantage above the rest both personally amx through jype. Its kinda like college acceptance imo. And YES creatively free with many many many restrictions. Not even talking about k-idols, normal musicians have talked about the restrictions and requirements they need to have for their appearcance and the songs they released, i can only imagine being an idol is just exponentially demanding and restrictive. Their real voice is there, but it's smaller than a lot of stay think. Hayley Kiyoko talked about her company (label?) Not wanting her to write anymore songs about girls and Colbie Caillet has a whole song about her frustration that her label wanted her to write more love songs.

*incoherent noises* i could go on forever, but my god, cortana, play "we dont believe whats on tv" by twenty one pilots

And oh my god, i wish fandoms lighten up some. Its okay to not like everything every artist or show or whatever you like comes out with. It may even be healthy to not. When you love someone, youre not gonna let them keep fucking up and then you go "youre doing amazing sweetie", no, you have to tell them that they fucked up so they are aware of their mistakes and get better. Im pretty sure i read somewhere that skz mentioned thats what they prefer anyways. Sure its gonna hurt, especially since so much heart and hope, and hardwork went into it, but if its not good, its okay to admit that and that goes for every relationship ever. And if they dont wanna listen, then, thats on them.

Im really loving all the reality checks on here recently and i havent even ranted on about "i like it" yet lmao

thank you baby!!!! and tbf, i think they could look good in absolutely any hair color or hair style. except i never want to see christopher in another fully-red moment again. his lil red highlights or whatever he had recebtly for the mv were cute, but i'm not here for the full red like leave that man alone 😭

i was talking to one of my moots about this a little bit, so i'm actually glad you brought it up... but idk it's kind of embarrassing(?) idk for me to talk about so please bear with me im queasy lol. i was never some like super spoiled-brat rich kid or anything, but growing up i would say my family was very well-off or privilged maybe? idk it's kind of awkward to talk about bc i don't want people to feel certain ways about me but yeah. i think when you are in that kind of position, it's so easy to not even realize how advantaged you are. like there's that mentality of "oh i'm such a hard worker and that's how i've gotten here" when really, as uncomfortable as it is to admit, you don't *actually* know how far you would've gotten if you'd done it ALL on your own. not relying on anyone else... and not knowing if "just you" is good enough is a veryyyy hard pill to swallow- aka why most people disregard their privilege even being brought into the equation. it's easier to just pretend it doesnt exist. hence, i guess, why we love to think of SKZ coming up from nothing... it's just so easy to fall into that trap. and i feel like even the skz members fall into that trap themselves

unfortunately, that is the biggest drawback of being a kpop idol. in a way, you can't even be your full self anymore. which is sad. like not only do you not have full control of your own music (which is supposed to be your livelihood), but you don't even have control over how you're perceived. i talk a lot ab how i wish i could hang out with the guys behind the scenes, just to see what they're REALLY like... and when you think about it, that's kind of sad. i consume so much SKZ content, but even with all of that, it's very apparent that we don't know how they are when the cameras cut off. everything we see of them is specifically controlled by their team... except for things like bubble ofc and we see what that has revealed to us about chris lol. it's just so sad, but then again, it's exactly what they signed up for. (bonus points to u for the twenty one pilots reference though my god how i love them)

it's definitely not healthy to tell someone that they're amazing and perfect in every way and agreebwith absolutely everything they say. that's not helping anything. there's obviously a lot of stays who felt uncomfortable with the song, but imagine if no one said anything??? like literally everyone was too scared to say it and everyone just went along with it. theyd have a whole new comeback w songs ab not fucking liking you and just wanting to fuck and shit 😭 which like, power to them, but stays would just be playing themselves at that point lol

haven't ranted on "i like it".... YET?!?! oh lord, i'm strapped in and ready 😭😭😭😂

[hoardlikegoldenirises]

I’ve edited my timeline a bit (a lot...) and the old version of this drawing just wasn’t really useful for me anymore because of certain changes etc. so i finally expanded it a LOT so i have a better idea of what flash’s hair should look like.

(while peter stays mostly the same XD he’s just not interested in experimenting with his hair i guess)

putting some individual bits (well, groups of 3-4) below the cut:

Flash in his late teens; his only form of hairstyling in high school was buzzcuts from his mom so i just wrote “high school” instead of an age lol... once he goes off to college he starts growing his hair out and by the time he loses his legs that’s about what it looks like (18ish), and then the one with the hello kitty shirt is about a year later, how he looks by the time he’s 19 and a half... then a few months later he buzzes it all off after some stuff happens that upsets him, that i won’t go into here but will be uploaded to the AO3 series as a fic later. short version is “he has a revelation about himself and gender that he’s really, really not ready to deal with and locks himself back in the closet” (not that he was really out of the closet but he was rolling around in 2006 wearing a hello kitty shirt and nail polish lol) so yeah he ends up depressed again, and drinking more (still not legally old enough to drink but he has his fake id and other ways of getting it, of course) and trying to be Outwardly Masculine like he was before :(

oh i’ll also note—since it’s not visible in these busts lol—flash has of course been using a wheelchair since he was 18 and a half, which is obviously because of the events in “these are not the clothes [...]” where doc ock crushes his legs... so aside from the teenage stuff, he’s in a rigid wheelchair throughout this entire au—i decided against him ever getting prosthetic legs because initially he is young enough that growth is still a partial factor, on top of prosthetic legs already being even more expensive than wheelchairs and already requiring multiple fittings in the early stages even for adults who are totally done growing, and then later they’re just like... poor... plus not being on his dad’s insurance after a certain age (esp. after being kicked out but i don’t think he was disowned)... even by the time he and peter get married and flash is on peter’s health insurance i doubt they’d be able to afford a pair of otk prosthetic legs on the salary of one full time teacher and one part time assistant gym teacher lol—that shit’s like tens of thousands PER leg... even with insurance i doubt they’d be able to throw together something like 20k-40k (or more) for prosthetic legs on top of being due to replace flash’s wheelchair... granted they do have rich friends (and my headcanon in 616 is that harry and/or liz are probably the ones who helped pay for flash’s mobility aids in the first place) but imo neither are the type to want to go asking for money, regardless of harry or liz’s willingness to give it to them... and being like, “hey can i have $40,000?” is a BIG ask lmao

ANYWAY Flash is still kind of in a rough place in his early 20s, but starts to get better and feel okay with the things that made him feel happy before, so his hair starts growing out again and he busts out the spidey choker but not the nail polish. am considering having andi be a character around this time (though obvs she’d be like... 10) but not sure about how i want to do that... or if i’ll ever write it XD def still having drinking problems as he gets actually legally old enough to drink but less depression = less drinking for him, to some extent... his beachy curls are just the cutest though

not pictured: flash converts to judaism in 2010 (along w/ his mother and sister)

(2011 necklace just a regular fine silver chain necklace peter got him for his birthday)

mid 20s flash is a lot happier and starts wearing nail polish again, as well as getting his associate’s degree and also starting the *other* AA (alcoholics anonymous) or a similar program happening kind of concurrently with some other stuff (Harry’s also been going through it which partially leads to flash realizing he wants to change some things in his life) and also just because he’s so busy with school and other stuff that it’s really just become a lot more impractical for him to drink as much, and with the support of aunt may and peter and his friends he’s getting a lot better about his drinking and also a lot more comfortable with himself and his sexuality and gender presentation now that he’s had time to think about it more and not be so afraid. turns out 7 years away from your abusive father helps a lot... also harrison specifically has had kind of poor health and while idk if flash is even in contact with him anymore, if he is then, that might contribute to flash being like, fuck i don’t want to be like that...

anyway he gets job as an assistant gym teacher at midtown around the same time peter gets a job there (though peter’s been teaching already for a few years while getting his masters, but he was teaching at a school near chelsea instead of in queens)... Flash puts his hair up at work but at home it’s like, :> girly time.

and peter proposes when they’re 26, cause he’s been thinking about how that stuff has been legal in nyc for a couple years (since 2011) and just. he’s peter. he wants to get married. he’s a wife guy. i doubt flash says yes IMMEDIATELY because he has some hang-ups related to his home life growing up and peter and him haven’t always had the smoothest relationship, so understandably he isn’t ready to say yes immediately .... but like... they’ve been exclusive for a few years on top of some off-and-on stuff in their early 20s, and peter has seen him in some of his worst, most rock-bottom moments in life as well as helping him realize who he is inside, and still loves him, so he says yes.

also around this time, along with the convo about if marriage is the right fit, they have a convo about flash’s ... “identity issues” and talk about that and make good strides there. peter helps flash embrace that aspect of himself, especially now that peter’s mature enough to be capable of supporting flash without being pushy or aggressive or expecting him to just magically be grateful LOL—my, how they grow up XD so this is when they first start experimenting with feminine terms of endearment (at least on purpose) and stuff like... well, they’re engaged so i guess it’s just fiance LOL so not girlfriend. “wife-to-be.” and other more uh. nsfw things 😂

(the blue pendant necklace is a wedding gift from felicia)

they get married, still 26 because their wedding is in the spring and flash’s birthday isn’t until june and peter’s is in october, but like, ALMOST 27, the long hair is definitely what flash has at 27 following the wedding, and then the even longer hair is around the time the man-spider fic is taking place and has grown out a lot.

i’m still using he/him pronouns for flash in the man-spider fic as of my most recent edits, but i actually am not 100% sure what the deal is with that. i think there are lot of feminine terms of endearment in the privacy of their home, and i’ve had felicia call flash a pretty girl, and even tossed in a “wife” in a recent edit of ch 1, but flash isn’t really publicly out... “boy mode at work” as the doodle says lol. there’s always a chance i go back and edit pronouns. we’ll see how that shakes out. i think when flash is somewhere around mid-40s that might shift over to like, more feminine everything... a more comprehensive social transition i guess

then the late 40s one is mostly an estimate of like, this might be what flash looks like in 20 years... but idk for sure. wife city. a couple of white hairs but she’s not going gray as much as peter is lol

also—re the wedding stuff: originally there was no yarmulke for flash’s wedding outfit but i recently committed to flash asking his mother about their heritage (in “last week [...]”) with the idea that maybe his mom’s side is jewish or used to be jewish (but that there’s been a lot of intermarriage) and now have decided flash converts in 2010, so not an interfaith ceremony, just a jewish one.

here are their wedding rings. peter proposed without a ring but after they talked through if marriage was the right step for them and flash agreed to it, flash also eventually asked if he could get an engagement ring... because gender. so they buy a really small, simple one that doesn’t attract too much attention but still has a little tiny diamond... peter offers to wear one too but it’s not very practical for his line of work (spidey lol) so they end up just getting the one for flash. and then their wedding bands match but flash’s is skinnier just cause he doesn’t want to draw too much attention to the set. like it’s a small, happy thing for him, but that doesn’t mean he wants randos staring at his rings (and also they’re not exactly wealthy on a single full time teacher’s salary + a part time assistant gym teacher’s salary to support them and pitch in for aunt may...)

i can see peter getting an anniversary ring for flash eventually too... maybe 10 year...

also as a sidenote, i just wanted to say i def agree that peter doesn’t need to be married to be an adult or be mature, and that it’s weird when people boil it down to “peter has to be married to be an adult.”  the problem with comics right now isn’t that he isn’t married, but rather the circumstances for why it was decided that they had to end that relationship, and the way he is watered down into a nothing character with no personality and no flaws who isn’t allowed to swear or drink in the name of Mascot-ification while his dark hair and features are made lighter and more generic (arguably more aryan) (latter also a problem with flash and why i only draw flash with curly or wavy red or strawberry hair now instead of the straight yellow blonde he’s been given over the past 20 years)

ANYWAY

what i’m saying is that while marriage shouldn’t be the only way for a romance to continue, etc. and emulating traditional gender roles and marriage roles is not the only way to be in love etc. i do think peter is a wife guy (and how many times has his first solution to literally any problem with a woman has been “oh no i have to propose”?) so i think in this case it’s warranted, and peter being like, well, gay marriage is legal... and we both have jobs at the same school now... and we’re probably gonna move soon... maybe we should get married.... makes sense to me 😂 especially considering things like healthcare and the fact that flash is no longer young enough to stay on his dad’s insurance... and peter is very much a protective (overprotective) person who wants to take care of the people he cares about... makes sense that he’d be like, i love you, i want to be with you for as long as possible, let me take care of you better

but also: me smushing fictional characters together like barbies: teehee wedding

me giving flash longer and longer hair and more feminine presentation could also be talked about as like, trans people don’t need to emulate traditional gender roles—but i like when flash has long hair and i think it looks pretty and cute. but also frankly part of the reason i gave flash long hair is less to do with gender presentation and more to do with the fact that i grew up in a family where 4/5 of my uncles grew their hair out long as adults specifically because they’d all had buzzcuts their whole childhood and adolescence so growing their hair out was a way for them to assert their personhood lol

and i think that applies to flash here too, in addition to the genders and long hair as a form of feminine androgyny

as for peter:

i drew a lot less for him XD his hair is mostly the same 2-3 styles cause he doesn’t care that much about fashion whereas flash has the whole Queerness and Gender thing going on. (otherwise i wouldn’t have given him like 10 hairstyles LOL)

late teens and early 20s, peter starts to loosen up a little bit with his hair as he gets older and more adult... he also loosens up his clothing for all of five seconds because with the symbiote when he’s 17-18 (mostly 18) he doesn’t need to hide a suit under his clothes, it just exists, so 18 is his “slutty button-downs” era XD  but then a few months before he turns 19 he loses the symbiote so it’s back to buttoned-up collars and turtlenecks and stuff... but sexy instead of nerdy. also he shaves his awful teenage boy barely-a-mustache.

that era of looser hair and more tightly done casual clothes is also around when flash goes back to trying to be masc and he and peter are separated (both in terms of peter living away from aunt may’s house and also in terms of not dating) for a little while.

but, early 20s is also when peter and flash get back together after a couple years and enter a steady relationship—when they’re around 21, 22 years old? and that happens kind of concurrently with flash figuring himself out with less fear, and peter helps with that a little bit. so as peter starts getting shaggier and less uptight, flash also starts to relax and grow his hair out. so they get shaggy hair together 😌 (though flash’s is def longer, peter just needs to go get his hair cut more often XD)

mid-20s, you can see Pete has gotten shaggy as he loosens up! but then some shit happens over a span of ~3 months that’s not great that i won’t get into here (see this post ) and he ends up hospitalized etc... after that, he gets his hair cut once he’s doing better, and keeps it pretty short and tidy from here on out as a way to, i guess... have some control over his life. it makes him feel better to be clean-shaven, neatly coiffed, etc. so from his mid-20s onward he’s permanently said goodbye to the baby mullets.

and then like i said he doesn’t go through as many hairstyles so i didn’t bother drawing out 10 different variations of his mid-20s haircuts... cause they’re all roughly the same but with varying levels of bang length depending on when the last time he got a haircut was XD

so skipping to 26/27 for the wedding stuff, and then 28 for man-spider... he’s matured now.... (damn wish i was that put-together at 28, my life’s a mess😂) so in man-spider they’ve been married for a little over a year (rough strain on the second year of marriage 😅) and then after it, he looks mostly the same but is a little bit fuzzier (even more?!) and has slightly pointier teeth.

and then in his 40s aka DILF with bad facial hair era, his hair will start going PRETTY gray pretty quickly... with that white streak... his hair is gonna be more silvery than flash’s as they age, partly cause of the stress of being spider-man and partly cause silver fox suits him lol

(not that flash hasn’t had stressful stuff happening too but it’s a little different)

and yes i gave him stupid facial hair, as is his right. any middle aged peter needs some kind of dorky goatee or mustache, that’s just the rules okay. i almost gave him a beard but i didn’t like the way it looked XD (also a beard under the mask seems unpleasant)

he dies at 49.

i drew this anyway:

I mostly just wanted to doodle that cause I thought it was cute but like... Peter gets gunned down before he even hits his 50th birthday. like literally a few weeks before he turns 50. It’s tragic but not surprising in the end and probably something they were a little prepared for considering everything that happens in their life together. at least flash will be a hot milf widow. (except she dies of a broken heart on his birthday instead) (aka a heart attack + a fall in the middle of the night)

i’ve just been thinking about that scene in asm500 where future peter gets taken out by a literal swarm of cops and a sniper... though that universe obviously has its own stuff going on and implies peter kinda goes bad, and i’m not really looking to do that to him or flash (as much as i like a Killer Spidey, i don’t think it’s the right fit here) we’ll see... i just know i want to re-emphasize that peter will treat flash with love, gentleness, and tenderness up until his last breath... wifeguy til the end. i think maybe fisk is involved or something...

anyway misc doodles from the past two years:

tfw you turn from a circle to a dorky teenager into being chiseled

i’ll also note that peter has a lot of issues ... like a lot... and he was already a temperamental teen but he has some serious anger and other issues as a teenager due to sexual trauma as a 12 year old :( poor kid. you can see mentions of that in the stuff i have posted; peter’s mostly coping as an adult but sometimes it creeps back out... :/ contributed to his antisocial behavior in high school for sure. also he hit puberty so hard XD his voice dropped like three octaves between age 12 and age 18 lmfao

added flash onto this older drawing so i could have a comparison of the way they grew... they both had major growth spurts but flash’s happened when he was around 13 and peter’s didn’t hit until 16-ish (well no he had a smaller growth spurt around 12-13)... a couple of angry children XD... also edited this to make ben shorter cause i realized i made him like. very tall on accident. but closer to 5′11″ here instead of like 6′2″ XD

and peter’s spidey suits over the years... first costume is dorkier and also a little more silver age styled, then black suit as an 18 year old and then he makes a new suit since he’s bigger after losing the black suit, and needs something better and more durable... has also filled out a LOT by 19/20 lol now he’s got that booty... and i think his suit probably tends to be some variation on that suit throughout his adulthood...

i’ll note that originally i planned for the black suit to be a little earlier but some stuff changed, so peter probably shouldn’t be QUITE that gangly and thin in the black suit. but otherwise it’s mostly right.

i also have this variant (with bonus six arms style) which i like a lot too though for all of these i don’t actually love the spider logo’s look ... this was a scrapped idea for a different AU so just ignore the six arms and spider face stuff XD not relevant here, just looking at the suit style

it’s really just the default spider-suit i draw tbh XD (this pic and the next obvs from that 8 page comic i did, not from this au)

i like this logo style better.

also bonus: a general idea of what the rest of the gang looks like..

[sea-owl]

Oh my gosh how did I not see it before. Portia is the perfect candidate to have someone isekai as! Might have to steal this idea later though lol. As for Michael and Simon I have a thought on that. With Portia making a name for herself as a business woman, no doubt Agatha Danbury would take notice and invite the baroness for tea with Mary Sharma where Kate and Simon meet and become quick friends which leads to Simon meeting the others. At some point this also leads to little Gareth joining the group.Philip meets Michael when he’s 12 at Eton and brings him home one summer and ever since he’s been apart of the family. Plus it lead to Portia gaining a business partner in Michaels mother and aunt. Now villain stories.

Simon: a man abused by his father leads him to grow cold and unfeeling despite being a rake. Not the biggest villain in the series, but Anthony seduces his mistress Sienna away from him, he decides to get revenge on him by seducing Daphne but refuses to marry her after they are caught kissing in the garden leading to Anthony killing him in a duel (though it was often debated in forums that Simon purposefully lost and was suicidal).

Michael: After his fathers death, his mother dealt with her grief by staying at his cousins house and doting on her nephew while frequently comparing her son to the future earl and having him fall short. As a result, Michael doesn’t tell his mother when one of maids starts touching him inappropriately when he’s 13 and later forces herself on the younger boy. All this leads to Michael being obsessed with his cousin John, viewing him as the perfect person, while trying to find comfort in the arms of many, many women. When he meets Francesca Bridgerton he falls in love at first but seeing her married to John causes him to go mad but rather than hurt either John or Francesca, he commits suicide instead.

Gareth: Another boy who was abused by their father and thus turned to a life of debauchery. Felicity hires him to seduce and ruin Hyacinth but along the way he falls in love with her and decides to kidnap her to Gretna Green only to be killed by her love later on. After befriending Agatha (well more like business frenemies) she casually mentions how one of her acquaintances heard about Gareth’s father drunkenly bragging about how he treats his young son. Cue Lady Danbury removing Gareth from that house and Simon taking him under his wing.

Lucy: Abused by her uncle and his friend, engaged to her gay friend who turns a blind eye towards how her uncle and his father touch his betrothed, her only light seems to be her best friend Hermione. Hermione doesn’t care that Lucy isn’t a pure maiden and takes her under her wing. Actually Hermione is the real villainess, with Lucy as her minion. Hermione, jealous of how Gregory Bridgerton has moved on from her, has Lucy try to seduce Gregory away from his lady love. But seeing his kindness towards her, Lucy warns the girl Gregory loves of Hermione’s plan and takes her place, resulting in her dying in a carriage accident. Of course, Hermione then lies to Lucy’s brother that Gregory Bridgerton planned his sisters death and the two scheme their revenge. Yeah Portia couldn’t care about Hermione much, but she will be damned if she doesn’t save Lucy! It’s actually quite easy, all Portia had to do was prevent the accident set up by Lucy’s uncle to kill her parents and her uncle is tossed in jail while Lucy grows up in a loving home and Lucy instead befriends Felicity and Gareth.

Will this work for how it ties in?

I should be fair to the others and give them an in with Portia's wayward home for villains. Original post here. 

The first post will have Kate, Sophie, Phillip, and Penelope’s book villain backstories. 

(Also I love seeing people create their own versions of my aus or adding on their own head canons. If anyone feels inspired please feel free to write or draw or whatever medium you want to use. Then tag me! I want to see it!)

Ok so here are my interpretations for their backstories/How they were as villains in book order:

Simon: Simon Basset is the first villain in the series. Being deemed useless since his birth his father basically had him locked away and isolated. This took a massive toll on his psyche and made him paranoid. It did not bode well when Simon’s father realized he could torture him more by throwing him in school where he would never be alone. Simon traded one prison to another, only this had horrible neighbors. The worst of these neighbors was Anthony Bridgerton. Anthony and Simon never got along, while Anthony acted as a teen boy would Simon was jumpy and was constantly stuck in survival mode. The final straw for Simon was a prank gone wrong and had broken the one thing Simon was able to smuggle from his mom. Fine, if Anthony did not care for other’s precious things, then Simon would destroy what was precious to Anthony. One ruined sister could ruin them all. Doesn’t Daphne debut in a year or two?

...

Michael: Michael Stirling is the villain in the 6th book in the series.  Much like Kate Michael turned cold after being constantly found lesser compared to his cousin John, but unlike Kate he wanted that warmth back. Michael first thought that he had to be perfect like his cousin. When that did not work, Michael had tried to get it back through losing himself to debauchery. But then he met Francesca Bridgerton. Francesca, John’s fiancé, brought back the warmth that Michael craved so dearly, but she was engaged to John. John didn’t need this warmth like Michael did though, John had others that gave him warmth like Michael’s own mother. Michael needed that warmth, Michael needed Francesca. The night before John and Francesca were to wed Michael objected and stole the bride

...

Gareth: Gareth St. Clair is the co-villain of the 7th book in the series. The second, illegitimate, son of Baron St. Clair, his adopted father had seen it fit to neglect him to the point where he was living in poverty and starving. Despite Baron St. Clair’s attempt to kill him Gareth somehow miraculously survived. Desperately wanting the life of his much-loved older half-brother, Gareth had made a deal with devil. Felicity Featherington was back and wanted revenge for the execution for the only family member she loved and loved her. She thought a sister for a sister was fair. She seduced Gareth with the promise of the missing Whistledown money and the title if he helped her kill Hyacinth Bridgerton. 

...

Lucy: The final villain in the series is Lucy Abernathy in the 8th book. A fan of the Featheringtons’ work she modeled her killings after by exposing her victims scandals and carving them into their bodies. If they just so happen to be suitors Hermione rejected and if people looking for a connection led to her, well no skin off Lucy’s back. Hermione shouldn’t have used her just to fuck with Lucy’s scum brother. Lucy supposed she hasn’t always been this way, but after the death of her parents she had become numb. It didn’t help that her uncle kept selling her to the highest bidder. The challenge of the hunt was the only thing to give Lucy a thrill, and she just set her sights on her biggest challenge yet, Gregory Bridgerton. 

Now let me see how we can add the others in:

Simon: Simon was back in London for five minutes before his beloved godmother pushed him into her carriage and set out for the countryside. 

“Aunt Agatha where are we going?” Simon asked her. 

“There have been some rumors whispering about and I want to see if they are true,” Lady Danbury said, almost cryptically. 

Simon knew he wasn’t getting anything more out of her so he just settled in and waited to see where they ended up. 

Simon didn’t know what he was expecting when they pulled up to a country estate but what greeted him and Lady Danbury was nothing he could have imagined. The only way he could really describe it was chaos. 

There were two girls practicing shooting with shotguns, they looked to be the oldest and youngest of them. 

Three girls, two red heads, and a blonde, all about the same age, sat in a circle with different art supplies and they seemed to be drawing a boy who sat in the middle of the circle wearing nothing but a kilt. 

The last group seemed to be the calmest as they were only reading until Simon listened in and heard that they were acting out different death scenarios for some sort of story they were creating as they went along. The book they had was on different poisonous plants. 

Sitting under a tent with a pitcher of lemonade between were two women who Simon was guessing were the mothers to at least some of this brood. 

“Lady Featherington,” Lady Danbury called. 

The red head of the two women looked up, surprise on her face. “Lady Danbury, this is a surprise.”

Of course, his aunt didn’t even tell the host they were coming. She did love her dramatics. 

“Simon, go introduce yourself to the other children. You need more friends,” Lady Danbury said with a wave. 

Simon sighed, but then tensed up. He feels like he’s being sized up. Turning around he could see all the groups stopped what they were doing and were openly staring at him. 

The one wearing a kilt came up to him and began to lead him to the others. “So we hear you need more friends.” 

...

Michael: 13 year old Phillip had done half a year at Eton before deciding absolutely the fuck not. He would get a better education at home, and it was cleaner, and in the countryside. He takes his crazy ass best friend and his pseudo sisters before dealing with these animals again. The only saving grace about this place was his new friend the 16 year old Michael, and Phillip was about to pull a Penelope and drag Michael home with him. Phillip wrote to Portia that he was coming home and bringing a guest. 

During the next break Michael had indeed gone home with Phillip, but that was more to do with the fact if he went back to Scotland he would have to listen to his mother and aunt dote on John again. Michael loves his cousin, honestly, but dear god could it get annoying. Besides Phillip’s home sounded interesting, he said he was a ward, and that he was the only boy in the house. 

So Michael went to visit, and then never left. Phillip was right, there was a better education to be had here, and he quite enjoyed the shenanigans he got into with Phillip and the girls. Portia did force him to write home and visit once in in a while, but now that he wasn’t constantly around his family all the time Michael found his relationships with his family improved greatly. 

...

Gareth: Upon the return to London Felicity is feeling lonely. Which is understandable, Kate, Sophie, and Prudence were all just launched into society, Philippa is getting ready to for her own debut next year, Phillip is getting ready to go to University, and Penelope and Edwina are looking at possibly starting to make business transactions under their mothers' guidance. It also didn't help that Felicity was the youngest at the age of 7 while the next two closest in age to her were 14.

One day Felicity comes across a ten year old boy in the park trying to read. Felicity was confused, she was only 7 but she could read better than him. For over an hour she sat with him and helped him get through a few chapters. When Felicity asked why he was struggling so much the boy told her that his father never taught him nor let anyone else teach him. Felicity gasped, education was important in the Featherington household, and then immediately took him to Portia.

"Mama this boy-" Felicity stopped herself and turned back to the boy. "What is your name?"

"Gareth St. Clair," the boy answered.

Felicity nodded and then turned back to Portia. "Mama this boy's father refuses to teach him how to read!"

Portia recognizes the name and immediately began scanning the boy over for any injuries. He was too skinny, she could see his ribs through his clothes, and his skin looked pale. The boy honestly looked like a stray wind could blow him over. No wonder Felicity dragged him to her so easily.

The next time Portia saw Lady Danbury she mentioned that her daughter had met Gareth, but the boy didn't seem to be in good health. That sent Lady Danbury after St. Clair where she immediately removed Gareth from the household and into her's. She and Simon began to try to play catch up for all the things Gareth was neglected for his health and education. Gareth went over to the Featherington household a few times a week to get some reading lessons from his new friend Felicity.

...

Lucy: Like Gareth Felicity had discovered Lucy. Portia could tell Felicity was getting bored at home now that Gareth was at Eton, so she signed her up for a watercolor class. There she had met Lucy and Hermione. Over the course of three months the girls had grown close. Close enough that Lucy felt comfortable enough to ask an important question. 

“Felicity, do you know how old your sisters were when they first got their monthlies?” Lucy asked in a hushed whisper. 

Felicity thought about it. The only one she could really remember when they got their first first monthly was Penelope and she had been about 13? Yeah, that sounds about right. “About thirteen.” 

Lucy looked surprised, and disappointed. “Oh.”

Felicity’s new sibling senses kicked in. “Why do you ask?”

Hermione answered, “Lucy’s uncle said when she had her first monthly she would be ready for Haselby.”

“Hermione!” Lucy exclaimed. 

Hermione’s answer didn’t sound right to Felicity, who had gone home and repeated it to Portia. Portia marched down to the Abernathy household and left with a new ward that same day. No one’s quite sure how she did it. They did know however that Richard could visit his sister, but should their uncle step a single foot on their property Portia will let Felicity use him as target practice for her shotgun. 

...

For those that need a quick flow chart here’s the official order everyone joined the family and their ages. If they weren’t there in the first part when they probably should have been after this we’re just gonna ignore it and pretend they were:

Phillip became a ward when Penelope dragged him home when she was 8 and he was 10. 

Michael comes to visit and just never leaves when he is 16, Phillip is 13, and Penelope is 11. 

Sophie is taken in as a ward at 16. Penelope is 12, Phillip is 14, and Michael is 17. 

Kate is 19 when they meet the Featherington. Penelope is 13, Phillip is 15, Michael is 18, and Sophie is 17.

Simon meets everyone about six months after Kate was introduced. He is 25 and everyone else is roughly the same age. 

The year everyone returns to London Simon is 26, Kate is 20, Michael is 19 Sophie is 18, Phillip is 16, and Penelope is 14. Michael went traveling to India based on Kate’s stories, and Simon is busy with running Clyvedon. They were there for the first ball though.

Gareth also gets introduced the first year back in London. He is ten when Felicity finds him and she is 7. 

Finally Lucy is 10 when Felicity, also 10 befriends her. Simon is 29, Kate is 23, Michael is 22, Sophie is 21, Phillip is 19, Penelope is 17, and Gareth is 13. 

The year the Bridgerton boys ask the girls to dance Simon is 31, Kate is 25, Michael is 24, Sophie is 23, Phillip is 21, Penelope is 19, Gareth is 15, and Lucy is 13. 

[thotsforvillainrights]

Hi! Been a long time fan. 💕

Hope you & the baby are doing well!

May I possibly bother you of getting something with my favorite birb Setsuno finding out he’s having a baby? 🥺

(Baby should be doing just fine! Made exactly 11 weeks today! For about 4 days uninterrupted I've been fighting the most gnarly morning sickness ever. Everything I eat and drink makes me sick. I'm sick from not eating and sick from eating. The only that works is chewing peppermint gum. Anyway, let me get off my ramble and churn out some good old Setsuno content. It's been a while since I've been able to do so!)

(Also again this one is pretty specific so I apologize if some readers can't insert into it! I'm open to writing a Setsuno and his partner adopting alternative later upon request!)

~Setsuno Becoming a Dad~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

-The overflow of emotions he feels in that very moment of you showing him the two pink lines on that stick just overwhelm him all at once. He at a loss for words. He doesn't even care that you just peed on it either. He grabs it gently and doesn't say a word as tears begin streaming down his face. When he finally gathers himself enough to speak to you, he just barely utters out an 'I'm going to be a father?' before looking at your watery eyes for confirmation. As you shake your head he immediately smiles widely and repeats himself much louder this time. That question no longer a question but now an exclamation so loud the neighbors hear it. "I'm going to be a father!!!"

-He literally calls out of work the next day much to Overhaul's dismay. He just wants to spend the whole day with you planning things. I mean sure you've talked about kids in the past and planned some stuff here and there but never on this scale. It's totally different now that its real! He spends the day asking whether or not you want to reveal it now and if not then how will you two do it later on? Of courser a few small people like his parents and your parent need to know early. Maybe your boss possibly so you can plan out parent leave as well? It just depends on how you want to go about things. Don't even get him started on the registry and the baby shower! He's big on planning everything out so don't be afraid to tell him if he's being a little bit hectic on you with everything at the moment. Everyone needs a break here and there.

-Oh you two finally get to take a day out to go baby clothes shopping early. You insist on getting a few gender neutral items since it's still too early to know the baby just yet but Toya swears in his heart it's gonna be a little girl. He gravitates toward small dresses and overalls with matching sun hats. "Look! She'll be so cute when the summer rolls around in this! We can take her to the beach and collect seashells!!!" Way too excited for the surrounding parents who need to back away from the crazy shouting man lol

-His favorite part so far has been staying up late with you in bed and going off your list of baby names together. Although he feels in his heart this will be a girl, he has a much fuller list of baby boy names than traditional girl names. His argument is that some of them can be interchanged.

-Has already put a 'baby on board' sticker on the car and the kid isn't even born yet. "You have to do it so the EMT can know there's a baby in case of an accident to tend to first. What if we forget about the sticker and really need it one day?"

-Has never lapsed in taking care of you, not one day. He even changed his shifts at the hassaikai and worked overtime just so he can be home at the right times to help take care of you. That means for you he's bringing all your craving foods and rubbing your belly all night if he needs to. Morning sickness if no match for him. He's at your feet with medication, ginger ale, and chewing gum. Whatever helps you, he's getting his hands on it. The only downside to his intense care is that you have to go to the doctor a lot more than most people. Any slight cramp or off putting feeling has him going into a frenzy over you to make sure the baby and you are okay. You'll certainly need to put your foot down here or the two of you will be spending more time at the doctor's office than at home.

-Don't even get me started on when your water breaks. The delivery is a whole other story!

[skarloeyspa]

While You Were Away

Saw a "make a story" tweet and was like why not so this is the result. Based on the Seven Years Later AU by @ryan1014n2, here you go bestie I hope I didn't mess up your characterizations too much. Formatting was a bit awkward for this one since I'm still inexperienced when it comes to this platform, so apologies for that lol.

Warning for self-deprecating talk, Skarloey gets recurring nightmares and at one point hints toward no longer wanting to be around, there are parts where this is written in 2nd person, but the role "you" play isn't really integral to the story. General warning for grief as well since this is a bit of an unprofessional exploration of its five stages, I personally have not experienced grief from a deceased person so this might not be the best depiction.

While helping declutter the director’s office, you found an old wooden crate with several envelopes, browned from age. The envelopes were addressed to some workshop in Wales, but no mention of a receiver, nor a person to return to should the envelope become lost. There was no stamp on the envelopes, no glue to keep them sealed, only a date in the corner. Within the envelopes you found letters, written by someone who hadn’t had the best penmanship. Curious, you decided to read through the letters by date.

Dear Brother,

Driver said it would be a good idea for me to send you letters while you are away, and I thought it would be nice to keep you posted about the railway, so I hope you’ll have time out of your busy day to hear from me. How are you? How’s your overhaul going? I still don’t know why they thought it was necessary to send you all the way to the Mainland, but at least that means you’d be getting the best care there is, right?  I’m doing alright, it’s a bit lonely here without you, but it’s not as if driver lets me be alone much, so don’t you worry about me. Your driver’s been swapping out with mine with you gone, and the stories they tell me are just hilarious! How come you’ve never told me about the time you had to stop abruptly because a cat jumped out onto the tracks? Your driver said he spilled his morning tea all over your cab, and I didn’t even hear a word of complaint from you. By the way, I had sort of a strange dream last night. I dreamt that-

An entire sentence was scribbled out. You managed to make out the word “boiler” amongst the mess. The letter continued as normal after.

-you got into a nasty accident that resulted in some serious boiler issues, so serious that you would have to be sent for a heavy overhaul overseas. Ha! Isn’t it strange? I know you’re overseas right now, but I still managed to dream of such things. But perhaps the strangest part of it all was the pit in my boiler from when I woke up, it just felt so real. I’m alright. It was just a nightmare, all engines have those. But I can’t say I don’t miss you just a little. I hope your overhaul is going well.

Much love, Skarloey

You picked up the second letter, the paper was noticeably more wrinkled than the last.

Dear Brother,

Hello, it’s me again. I haven’t heard back from you since my last letter, but it’s not like you could have read it anyway.  I got into trouble today. I was shunting some trucks in the yard and broke some loaded trucks, I spilled slate everywhere and the trucks were deemed irreparable. Mr. Sam was quite cross with me, but he didn’t punish me as I had thought. He simply made me stay in the shed for the rest of the day while those new engines ran the line. I guess I should have felt more apologetic, but those trucks had it coming. I don’t want to tell you what they said, but it was about you, and it wasn’t nice. Just-

The word seemed to be written in a rush, as a single pen stroke tore across the page as if whoever was writing this had to quickly drop the letter to handle something else. The letter continued as normal after.

Sorry, thinking about it makes me upset, driver said I shouldn’t talk about it. Oh, let me tell you about those new engines, Sir Handel and Peter Sam. They’re fine, I suppose. They kept our line running while I was kept in the sheds.  But I must say, I’d much prefer you return. Sir Handel is quite arrogant and irresponsible, and Peter Sam is so cheery it’s almost annoying. But driver didn't seem to mind, he even called me a grouch! Me!  I miss you, brother.

Much love, Skarloey

You picked up the third letter, the writing a lot more scratchy and rushed.

Dear Brother,

I had that nightmare again, remember the one I told you about in my first letter? You probably don’t, but I don’t blame you. It must have been so annoying for you to have to listen to all my nonsense, huh? I hope you’re at least getting some silence wherever you are. Sorry, about my nightmare, I hope you don’t mind my rambling once more. It’s still the same, only now it’s more clear to me what that nightmare was really about. It’s still about you, but now it’s about me as well. It was never something I made up, and now I can’t stop seeing it in my sleep. I keep seeing you over and over again, and it keeps replaying in my head. Your

The ink colour changed here, as if the writer had to pick up a new pen because the old one dried up. But the previous ink was still well-pigmented, you had a feeling something else happened that forced the writer to put down their parchment.

Incident. I could still hear that loud sound, it’s still ringing in my head whenever the night gets quiet. And every time I see piping on the side of houses, I see you. I see your 

The ink colour changed again, you realized this happens several times throughout this letter.

Broken boiler. Your piping sticking out where it’s not supposed to. I couldn’t see your face, and you couldn’t reply to me. And every time I think about it, the pit in my boiler only gets wider, and it feels like a million ants are crawling all over me, trying to dig their claws into my shell, it feels like the fire inside my own firebox is trying to burn me alive, melting away until all that’s left of me are the charred remains of my chassis. Perhaps that would have been a better fate. I wish you were here to berate me, to tell me that I’m just being silly, tell me to get back to work and to act my age. I should have noticed, I should have realized that something was wrong. Why wasn’t I more vigilant? Why did it happen to you? It should have happened to 

The paragraph ended abruptly there, with no harsh pen strokes or blotches of dripping ink, as if whoever was writing this simply decided not to write down their thoughts.

I’m sorry, I’ve just been thinking a lot these days, maybe a little too much. I keep getting this impending feeling that something would go wrong, like something would stop our trains from running or worse, shut down our railway.  And those new engines as well, Sir Handel and Peter Sam. They were fine when they first got here, but lately they just keep making small mistakes. How hard is it for an engine to stop properly at a station? And don’t even get me started about their work in the yards. Any engine can shunt, but that Sir Handel just won’t stop complaining. And I understand treating others with respect, but you can’t be too lenient with trucks, and that Peter Sam simply couldn’t understand that. Oh, but I shouldn’t be talking about them, when I’m such a wreck myself. I’m sorry, brother, that you have to hear from me like this.

Love, Skarloey

You picked up the fourth letter, written on a different type of paper entirely, small and fragile. The writing was awful, almost incomprehensible.

Dear Brother,

I keep having nightmares, every night they end the same. There’s nothing I can do, there’s no one I can go to, no one would understand. Everyone seems to have moved on already, and I should as well.  But when I think about leaving you behind, when I think about you, I just can’t. I’m so sorry, brother. I’m so sorry for letting our railway fall like this. I can’t even bare to leave my shed these days, there’s no point if you aren’t there.  There’s no point when you’re not here. 

Skarloey

You move on to the last letter, seeming much less weathered than the rest. The penmanship was also different.

Dear Brother,

Hello, it’s been a while. I hope you’re well, wherever you are.  I’m doing fine, better than the last few years. It seems that our railway is doing better now as well. You wouldn’t believe the new flowers that have started blooming at Rheneas! Oranges and reds and buds and petals, all blooming strong under the sun.  Whenever I see them, I think about you. Don’t worry, I really am better. I think about how you would have been concerned about how distracting they are for passing locomotives, but you would secretly love them yourself. I even dare say some of the bigger ones match your livery perfectly. While I was away, I think they fixed some of the old tracks around the railway. It’s so smooth I could barely even recognize it. I think it’s some well-needed change, wouldn’t you agree? Oh! Speaking of the tracks, Sir Handel was being cheeky again. He almost derailed himself at the junction again. His wheels saved him just barely, and now he won’t stop talking about them. Silly engine, he looks like a steamroller! Also, I hope you wouldn’t mind. I know you wouldn’t, but I felt this deserves to be mentioned at least once to you. I talked to your crew the other day about you. I was very happy to find that they shared similar feelings as me, albeit less strongly. It was a nice change of pace, I haven’t allowed myself to speak of this with anyone for a very, very long time.  And I know you would tell me there’s no need for an apology, but I do feel like saying sorry, maybe just one last time. Talking with your crew finally woke me up, I can’t cling on to you forever. There’s still a railway to run, with you or without. And I’ll be damned if I don’t keep our railway running till my very last puff.  So please, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine here. I’ll keep your memory alive, and I’ll do it properly this time. I don’t think I’ll write to you again, I doubt you would need a written parchment to understand my thoughts anyway. 

Thank you, Rheneas.

Much love, Skarloey

That was the last letter. With the paper still in your hand, you looked out the slightly browning window of the old director’s office. Just outside, a vermillion well tank engine and a dark blue saddle tank engine chattered, laughing about something you couldn’t quite hear. The vermillion engine laughed particularly hard at something the dark blue engine said, their eyes crinkling from joy. The dark blue engine simply smiled, with such a warm look in their eyes you could almost feel your heart melt.

The director’s voice calling your name knocked you out of your observations. You hastily returned the letters to the old wooden crate and shoved them atop an old shelf. The excitement from this morning returned, you couldn’t wait to watch the two old engines double-head their first train since Rheneas’ successful overhaul.

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OKAY IT"S DONE

Hi hello thanks for making it this far I don't have much to say besides errrrr is it implied that Skarloey got someone on the railway to write the letters for him or he grew fingers and wrote them himself uhhhh I dunno that was the prompt I got so I'm just gonna roll with it