#i still like to TRY but it’s not ass stressful as bdays and christmas

[glitteratti]

omg ALL of my chanukah shopping is DONE. now i just have to figure out christmas -_-

[mrs-immortal]

self-aware sweetheart: pure brew edition!

≡;- ꒰ self-aware sweetheart꒱ 0 content warnings apply Espresso x gn reader || fluff.fluff.fluff.fluff.fluff.fluff.fluff.fluff.fluff.

His life being a show took a toll on him: Was everything he knew just to laugh at? Did he really have any real opinions..?

That was the spiral of his mental as slowly but surely, he was guided to you..

♡ Once he was there, he enjoyed life! Looking at the way his life looked on the game was… err, odd for him. Though , seeing how his entire corner was so decked out with attention and glamour made him happy, you loved him ever back then :D

♡ Life with this prick was.. Odd? He was still him, but he was not the character you knew at the same time, almost impossible to describe…

♡ He still possesses the coffee magic, not as affective anymore but it's enough if he can bring you coffee with your breakfast in the morning :D

♡ One thing you knew was that he loved you; story for another day how that started but given where he is.. You can figure it out fairly easily.

♡ He.. can’t cook for his life, i mean, they had no real food in the game, just gummy bears and jelly beans: he had to learn from zero and it was absolutely humiliating on the inside but he was okay to watch that go down.. ♡ He doesn’t know what a pinch of salt is: just to put that out there- ♡ His new friends call him a simp but he has no idea what it means… It's great! “What’s so special about S/O’s baking, Solomon?” they said. “It’s made with love, you worm” he spat.

(he’s petty; and yes, his human name is Solomon.) ♡ He works as the barista at your small cute bakery :) his apron says “Don’t ask me out, i’m dating someone.” but the apron he wears at home says “kiss the cook” ♡ Your cafe is the houses lower floor, small place but you both love it ♡ Whenever someone orders eclairs or madeleines he’s raging inside. ♡ You gifted him a stress ball and he made great use out of it-

♡ He takes to gardening because he likes to get new hobbies now that he’s much more free ! ♡ He also gets into some games; if you play minecraft, then he loves doing redstone… I could never . ♡ He loves reading up on witchcraft! Views of magic on your world fascinates him, is it spirituality for most..? Well, he should pick some more books from the library if he wants to find out :D ..or alternative you could teach him! He would love that. ♡ Playing uno and monopoly is.. Great. If he’s going out then he is sending all his stuff over to you so you can beat their ass vice versa lol ♡ Also, he goes all out on V-day; makes chocolate shaped like roses and feed you the petals, they’re heavenly and thank god he could master that recepie he wouldn’t forgive himself if he made it wrong- ♡ Can’t stand christmas decor during october, lord help him… ♡ Celebrates your birthday like a holiday; he will always try to one up you from his Bdays too :D

♡ Will cuddle, put one arm below your head and pull you close with the other :)

[voidmadisonrecs]

chris evans recs

these are more for me then anyone else but here are my fav chris evans (and co.) fics, blurbs, headcanons, etc.

feel free to message or comment with suggestions that i should read and make sure to check out these writers other works because they are all amazing <3

Chris Evans

butterflies - @chanelfaerie

chris has got butterflies for you—do you feel the same?

pop the questions - @angelkurenai

you are costars and in a relationship with Chris and while on the set of ‘Gifted’, you are very clingy. when Chris sees you interact with your youngest costar, he realizes you would make a great mother

white - @agentofbarnes

chris can’t seem to function while seeing you in a white dress

ask me properly - @twittytelly

while spending time with his family, chris realizes that it's the perfect time to put his 'plan' into action

red carpet w/ chris - @avenging-fandoms

your chris’s costar with Chris and you’re both tipsy in a red carpet interview and giggling together, making no sense but just being all happy and sparking dating rumours

happy goddamn new year - @fluffymisha97

the morning after your new year with the evans’ which doesn’t go all that smooth

sweet creature - @buckyhoney

domestic shit

ass man headcanon - @agentofbarnes

chris evans sure does love ass

and then he came along - @teebarnes

you haven't had the best record when it comes to relationships, you thought you couldn't be loved. until one day as you sat on the beach shivering, everything changed when chris came along

granola bar and lots of love - @planetofawe

with the kids away, you and chris have more than enough time to practice some aftercare (smut)

claim - @cloudystevie

your husband puts a baby in you (smut)

beer gut - @violetlilysunshine

chris gets self conscious after gaining a little bit of weight and not working out as hard as he used to during his Marvel days (smut)

dumb - @agentofbarnes

chris evans makes you dumb and you are a little touchstarved (smut)

red, white, blue’s in the sky, summer’s in the air, baby heaven’s in your eyes - @cloudystevie

sunday’s are for football games and attention (smut)

the big 4-0 - @rocketrhap3000

chris being insecure for his 40th bday but reader makes sure he knows just how much she loves him (smut)

my girl - @punani

chris loves calling you his girl (smut)

the fluffer (masterlist) - @punani

it’s the 70′s and the erotic videos industry is experiencing another boom after the risen popularity in the previous decade. the studio’s are hot, gemini flanagan is a brand, and you’re a newly hired assistant at shaggin’ studios. chris takes a liking to you, altering your job description so that you get to work more closely with him. is this all just physical, or is there something more? (smut)

wedding shenanigans - @flowerbouquet

in which you and chris have a sneaky fuck in the bathroom during your best friends wedding (smut)

grocery run - @bucksfucks

innocently wearing chris’ shirt leads to you finding out just how much he can’t resist you (smut)

chain - @bucksfucks

chris tells you to bite down on his chain (smut)

home late (part 2) - @violetlilysunshine

smuttttttt

severance - @punani

the divorce process with chris is messy, seemingly never ending, and ultimately: heartbreaking. you had to be strong for your son, yourself, and eventually you wanted someone else to be strong for you, so, it seemed only natural that you would venture into the arms of another. however, sometimes the line between something officially ending or simply taking a break blurs when you’ve known someone for longer than you can remember (smut/baby fever/ex!reader)

so beautiful to me - @uprootbasic

despite being broken up and coparenting, chris still want to show you how much he loves you (smut/baby fever)

sundress season - @jurassicbarnes

in which all it takes is a pretty little dress to break his resolve (ex!reader/smut/baby fever)

mwah - @iguessweallcrazyithinktho

ur little bubba is obsessed with kissys and keeps leaning in to kiss you (baby fever)

long hair lover - @iguessweallcrazyithinktho

chris comes back from filming red sea diving resort and his baby daughter is crazy in love with his long hair (baby fever)

slobbery kisses - @iguessweallcrazyithinktho 

chris wakes up to sloppy kisses by his baby (baby fever)

baby rose - @fluffymisha97

reader and chris had a little baby girl. but not everything is going that well, you're both trying to navigate life as new parents (baby fever)

eve - @kiwisomething

you drop your son off with his father and he invites you in (baby fever/ex!chris)

parenting is hard blurb - @lokiscu

chris and the reader have just had a baby and the lack of sleep mixed with lack of physical affection and time they have with one another gets to both of them and they end up fighting because of the stress (baby fever)

isla - @uprootbasic

the reader is a famous singer and always sings to her little girl. one night, chris and the reader decides to have this little jamming session with their baby. chris plays the piano while the reader sings I wanna hold your hand by the Beatles (baby fever)

the neighbours lights - @lokiscu

it’s your first Christmas with a baby (baby fever)

paparazzi - @ozarkthedog

chris evans and reader are both famous and one day they are out with their daughter when paparazzi start to follow them (baby fever)

thunder - @worksby-d

your daughter is scared of the thunder (baby fever)

she’s the one - @worksby-d

chris x singlemom!reader masterlist (baby fever)

protective stepdad chris x single!reader - @worksby-d

masterlist (baby fever)

truth be told - @kthynes

chris finds out he has a 6 month old baby because his partner didn’t have the chance to tell him that she is pregnant because they broke up (angsty??/baby fever)

not her - @agentofbarnes

chris wants a family and you just aren’t ready yet, but that doesn’t mean he wants you any less (angsty?)

the love we have - @kthynes

the reader is chris's ex wife and she's about to be married again to a guy she doesn't really love. so in the night of her bachelorette party she's really drunk and she ended up going to his apartment and tell him that she still loves him and that she wants to hate him because he was the one who file for divorce but she can't, then she leaves. on the day of the ceremony their 10 year old kid tells Chris that he should go after her before is too late (angsty??)

Frank Adler

i ruined our sweet tune - @rodrikstark

the last person you’d expect to see in florida is the hot professor from your undergrad philosophy class 

buttons - @rodrikstark

buttoning franks shirt headcanon 

waffles - @amylillian22

the morning after their usual saturday date night, y/n runs into mary unexpectedly. frank wakes up to find them making waffles

remember - @sweater-daddiesdumbdork

frank wakes you up at the ungodly hour of 3:30 am and will not even tell you why

breeding kink - @stargazingfangirl18

as the hot single dad everyone wants to get with, frank turns a few heads at back to school night, and well, you may get a little possessive (smut) 

magic demeanor - @bloodiedskirtts

after moving back to Florida in the middle of a heat wave, things seem to be getting worse and worse. the only thing to make her days any better is her neighbour, Frank. with neither of them willing to admit that they can’t get enough of each other, a pesky shower malfunction may be the only way for them to tell each other how they feel (smut)  

Ransom Drysdale

2:27 am - @cloudystevie

it’s 2:27 in the morning when ransom shows up at your doorstep, and he wishes he could tell you why 

cold (third part of his return) - @kiwisomething

hugh is cold sleeping on the couch by himself 

new man - @worksby-d

ransom loves to pretend he’s not whipped for you, but here he is letting you do your skin care routine on him

morning dew - @agentofbarnes

it was only supposed to be one night, but ransom can’t seem to get you out of his head (smut) 

Andy Barber

the proposal - @fairyevans

andy takes the reader on a gorgeous vacation but everything goes wrong except the proposal 

consequences - @stargazingfangirl18

life after your breakup with ransom (smut)

yes, mrs barber - @jurassicbarnes

in which you’re down on your knees, about to suck his dick within an inch of his life because it was the only way to shut him up (smut) 

[combat-wombatus]

uHm if you do these and if you want to do it I’d love a bnha matchup <3?

• my name is Aubri, I’m bi but prefer MHA boys tbh. I go by she/her, too.

• I’m a very Gryffindor person. (Sorry if you don’t know Harry Potter - 😖)

• I’m a June cancer, and I have ADHD and anxiety. My anxiety can be literally crippling somedays, but it’s gotten better overtime.

• I’m a bit of a class clown and usually just a clown 🤡 but that’s irrelevant. My teachers all hate me but like school-wise I do well so we have a love and mostly hate relationship 🤧

• I’m usually the ‘entertaining’ friend, in elementary the popular kids would invite me to play games with them because, “you’re funny” and it was like the biggest achievement ever 😭👍🏻 then they’d ignore me but that’s another therapy session

• I’m usually made fun of by people for being ‘weird’ and ‘insane’. Like all through elementary everyone thought I’d be a criminal when I grew up JUST BECAUSE I HAD UNDIAGNOSED ADHD - I hate it here 😐🦶🏻

• I’ve always been super into crime stories/true crime (where my anxiety comes from, I’m always worried about a pesky serial killer just killing me. It’s usually being kidnapped tho lmao) so I knew and still know like all these murder facts and sometimes I’d just randomly be like;

“Hey did you know it takes 12 hours and 2 days to dissolve a body in acid?”

or

“If you bury a dead deer over a dead body you buried deep in the ground, when police dogs sniff it and people dig they’ll just think it was the deer and won’t dig any farther.”

• So maybe people had a reason to be scared of me and think I’ll be a criminal someday, i dunno.

• I love love love reading and writing, and also debating. The things I’ve wanted to be when I grow up are basically: Dog shelter worker, actress, FBI agent, politician, and a writer. But usually I just want to do something that makes a positive impact on people. Like i wanted to be an FBI agent to solve crimes for people. I wanted to be a politican so I could actually help a lot of people. The entertainment industry also seemed like a way to make people happy. Idk, but then I decided I couldn’t be a politican at 10 because they were all corrupt and to be one I would have to be too. 😫🤌🏻 we love some good childhood angst

• the only subjects I’ve ever excelled at are ELA and Social Studies aka History, and Math I can’t do to save my life. ELA comes easy for me and I usually don’t have to work that hard and/or get too stressed over it. But I always get the meanest teachers for some reason. For example, one time I did my final essay for like 30% of my grade in 30 minutes the day it was due and I got an A+ 🦟🦗🦟🦗

• Uhhh id describe myself as a pretty loyal friend, I’m a ride or die type of girl. A story from my childhood that summarizes it pretty well is when I was in 2nd grade my friend wet her pants and she didn’t want to go to the nurse for it alone so I peed my pants so I could go with her and she wouldn’t have to be alone. Like, you know, a professional problem solver

• and I have genuinely attacked people for fucking with my friends but don’t snitch pls 🕳🏃‍♀️💨

• But also just anyone, people at my school tend to come to me with their problems for me to either help solve them by reasoning, or just to confront the other person like the bad bleep I am 😈😈

• I also have a huge daydreaming problem, it’s literally maladaptive daydreaming. So paired with my ADHD I don’t get shit done like ever.

• I have really high empathy levels I guess, like I always say hi to everyone I see on the street, especially if they look sad 😔 I’ve done it ever since I was a little kiddo.

• My fashion sense is very much a preppy/alt style. I wear those ripped tights and fishnets, I also have the MOST BIZARRE JEWELRY- like who allowed me to buy the gummy worm glittery earrings, hmmm???????? and those Mary Janes???????

• But I love crew necks and pleated skirts so I always obide by the National “hoes dont get cold” policy 🇺🇸😫🦅

• I wanna move somewhere someday, I don’t want to stay in America for very long

• I can speak Latin, French, and my native language which is English.

• My music taste varies, but my all-time favorite artists who all of their music they’ve ever put out has been my favorites are, Billie Eilish, Melanie Martinez, and Conan Gray.

• I no-joke have a sign in my front yard that says;

In ✍️ this ✍️ house we ✍️ don’t ✍️ worship Jesus ✍️ but instead ✍️ Melanie ✍️ Martinez

• My favorite shows are MHA (duh), The Promised Neverland, and Malcolm in The Middle.

• and I’m not going to tell you what I prefer in a partner, because that ruins the fun 😤

• but I will say I cannot be friends with someone who doesn’t really make me laugh. Like I’m used to doing most of the talking in convos but if you’re just boring I’m sorry it’s nothing personal but no thanks 😐✌🏻

• About my physical appearance, I have fluffy n curly brown hair, but when it’s in the sunlight it looks sort of brown but golden yk?? It’s shoulder length :) I have bleach blonde streaks in the front. I like wearing eyeliner most days, too. I’m pretty average size/ on the skinnier side. Kinda high key inscure abt my body bc I got flat shamed in elementary EVEN THOUGH I HAVE TIDDIES NOW- whatever 😤🙄. I also have crystal type blue eyes, and I do have fairly big eyes. But, like, not weirdly big. A good big. My cheekbones are ALWAYS PRESENT so sometimes I get called a Tim Burton character but it’s cool ig ☠️☠️ oh and I’m kinda short. I’m 5’3, even though my doctor said I’d be 5’7. I feel like I was either tricked by the doctor or someone just stole my destined height while I was asleep. It’s probably cause I didn’t keep an eye out for Selener 👁 😔😔

• I’m a definite night owl, like all of my energy comes at night which really sucks cuz I can’t do much since everyone else is asleep.

• My love language is touch starved so I’ve never figured it out ✌🏻😗🔫

• but I am an attention whore so idk 😏

• I’m a huge introvert with social anxiety. It isn’t as bad as it used to be cuz I used to not be able to like go to restaurants but now I’m much better.

• I’m a huge history person, mostly like sad history LMFAO. Uh but a lot of my hyperfixations have been on history. Some examples are The Roman Empire, Julius Caesar himself, Anne Frank, The Titanic, the Black Plauge, Helen Keller, Marie Curie, Slavery in the US, Joan of Arc, and just a lot more. I always love talking about these things if someone would let me ramble to them but no one ever does 😖 it also got to a point where for all these subjects I’d go to the library and try to find a book on them but usually I’d either have already read it or I’d read it and know all the information.

• I’m super into Greek Mythology, I have 7 books filled with the stories, I’m going to Greece maybe this summer to see it’s history, and named my hamster Aphrodite but we call her Aphie. I also will talk about this forever and ever if you let me.

• My favorite color is yellow, my favorite food is literally nothing I never have an appetite, my favorite planet is Saturn, favorite song is Tag Your It by Melanie Martinez atm but it changes like everyday.

• Music is a huge safe-space for me if I’m feeling down or having a panic attack. It calms me down n is overall my coping mechanism 💃🏻💃🏻

• Biggest fear is spiders, even looking at one gives me a panic attack and I cannot sleep at all for that night, adding to my insomniac ass 🧎🏻‍♂️🏌️‍♀️

• I’m mature for my age, I don’t exactly like hanging around kids my age and I get along better with older crowds.

• i don’t like conventional dates, (I PROMISE IM NOT TRYING TO SOUND ‘QUIRKY’ AHAHA) I kind of like having a best-friend type partner more so dates that aren’t as romantic as like the movies or a fancy restaurant suite me better. My dream date is playing Monopoly on my bedroom floor 🦧

• Also I hate getting gifts. End of story. If someone gets me a gift like awe that’s nice but never again, I’d prefer to get you one. Especially in a romantic partner 😐 i keep a journal of my friends’ interests and hobbies so I can get them the perfect gifts for their bdays and Christmas’s. Been doing this ever since 4th grade.

• Though I don’t have much actual experience with relationships🧍🏻‍♀️

• I’m a huge believer in ‘family isn’t blood, it’s who you make it’ because I have a pretty shitty family life and my childhood has been trash. My friends are my family to me.

• Also if my friends don’t like my romantic partner ✨ GOODBYE ✨. Sorry girlie, bros before hoes 🦨💨

I was going to put more but I’m so so sorry for how LONG AND COMPLICATED THIS IS- idk if this is a autobiography or a matchup at this point 🤦‍♀️ don’t feel pressured to do this and if matchups aren’t open IM SO SO SORRY LMAO uh yeah ilysm 🦎🎂🧃

OMG ASLDFKJHASLKDJH

🥺 i’m so sorry bby but matchups are closed ;-; my 100 follower event was over while ago (i guess i should’ve specified that in the asks i answered LKSAJHFLKJAHDS SORRY IT’S MY BAD) but you sound so cool?? i had a lot of the same hyperfixations interests (heLLO helen keller was badass AF and the roman empire was messed up but still v cool, anne frank was awesome too) i also may or may not have wanted to be a politician when i was younger alskdjfhalkdhj but now i’m just 🧍🏻‍♀️ lost and anyways you’re amazing >.< love u lots and don’t forget to drink water and eat a lil something hehe :p 

[gayvlad-remade]

how does your family handle you being trans? if this is too personal I'm sorry

hi! it is kinda personal but also online i don’t hide this so i’ll answer!

psa: this got SO long, i just didn’t feel like half assing a response bc i think in case you’re asking this to find some sort of solace if you’re trans too, i want to be as honest as possible. also, i think i just needed to talk about this lmao

my mother is trying, she tries to call me nico and he when we’re alone. she messes up a lot and she always calls me my deadname and she and ‘female gendered’ words when we’re with the rest of my family and most other people. she never rejected me though, she was super scared at first and literally cried to my therapist and everything. we never talked about it, always avoided the subject. it’s still hard to talk about and she never says the word trans and avoids most specific things/terms, u know. but it’s better now and she supported me doing what i needed to do to feel comfortable, so starting my transition. it’s pretty hard to deal with her almost constant misgendering because it’s been 3.5 years since i came out to her but there’s not much to do, it is what it is and i have to remind myself that it could be worse and she still loves me.

i don’t have a good relationship with my father. we barely have a relationship now, actually. im not even sure he knows im on T now (we live together btw, we just don’t really talk). the only thing he’s said about me being trans after i had my mum tell him was that im not masculine and that everyone has doubts about this (lmao no??) but it doesn’t mean anything and also other fucked up stuff that i don’t wanna talk about. and the only other time i tried to tell him that im a guy he slapped me. so... yeah, he doesn’t support me and i don’t know if he ever will. i mean he hated me before i came out and now it’s just the same, maybe a bit worse.

the situation with my brother is complicated. he's disabled, which im mentioning bc his is an intellectual disability, among other things it makes it hard for him to handle and accept changes, especially big ones, and he has some difficulties understanding complicated concepts. i don’t really know how to speak about this in a way that im sure won’t be offensive and that will get my point across, so i’ll just say that without external help, it’s hard for him to understand my being trans. and he doesn’t get external help bc my parents don’t call me the right name and pronouns, don’t speak about it, etc. so basically he calls me my deadname, sister, she. i tried to explain to him, with the help of professionals too, a couple of times, but... yeah, not much progress has been made. he does link my name, nico, to me though, bc it’s my name on facebook and if he hears someone call me that he’ll understand that it’s me. but he gets confused and corrects me when i use ‘male gendered’ words and stuff like that. so yeah... i love my brother more than anyone else in the world which is probably why it hurts so so much not being able to get him to understand my true self. who knows, maybe one day, if my parents start helping.

as for the rest of my family, i think only one of my cousins knows. we don’t really talk except birthdays and christmas, but when she wishes me happy bday she calls me nico and she’s shown no sign of having any problem with me being trans. idk if she told her sister tbh, i haven’t talked to her sister in a long time. im actually... kinda really stressed about christmas this year. it’s WAY too early to stress over this lol and yet here i am. it’s just, i’ll be on T for i think 9 months by then so changes will probably be noticeable and idk what i’ll do... i don’t even know how we’ll celebrate christmas actually. since i was little, we’ve been celebrating together (mostly my mum’s side of the family) at our house, but last year we didn’t bc my grandpa was really sick and he was about to pass away, he couldn’t leave the house, so only the 4 of us went to his house. and now idk, im guessing we’ll go back to the usual thing, but who knows. and like... should i just... show up with a deeper voice and be like ‘surprise!’ or should i come out before? how do u come out to all those people who u never talk to? :// im Stressed. i guess we’ll see

sorry this was so long i like oversharing sjdsk

[tdotsspot]

2020.....

Wow, it’s been almost TWO years since I've posted anything on here. I’ve thought about it from time to time, but never sat to actually say anything. I just looked at my last two posts....so funny. This is why I'll probably always keep this....just to look back, see where I was, who I was.

But back to 2020 bc HONESTLY this year is the one to go. down. in the mother. fucking. books. 

2019 was literally the best year of my life. It was the year I did the most traveling, the year I made the most money...it was like, perfect until the end. I went to Puerto Rico and St Thomas....Atlanta, Boston of course, MARTHA’S VINEYARD FINALLY and even though I've been there 100 times, this was the absolute best. Of course having Dameo was a plus, getting to show him my childhood summers, but Unc let me use the Mercedes which I legit fell in love with, we met Danny Glover which was crazy, I got the brass ring on my first try lol, and we had a lot of good food. LA, was amazing, I miss it so much....NY.....I feel like I’m missing a city, oh yes, dc! That was a fun drunk night.

Late November for Britt’s bday we all went out and that was the first time I was ever real life drunk around his fam, but it was so much fun. The next week....nana passed. It was sad, weird....I hadn’t lost someone in a really long time, and I was there to see some of her last lucid moments. We definitely got closer over the last two years or so since I visited her a good amount, and it made me more sad than I thought. I’m glad I got to have those moments with her, it was cool to get a grandmother again. Made me miss nanny a lot though...

A few weeks later, we found out I was pregnant! It was planned, we were excited although tbh I was kind of freaking out. A baby??? Like a whole ass human? No more weed, liquor, or runny eggs??? HOW SWAY! I don’t think I was ready yet, and a few weeks after that, RIGHT before Christmas, RIGHT before we were going to tell the family, I had a miscarriage. Goodness, I really wasn’t ready for that, at all. Obviously it’s common, but I never thought I’d have one....I was healthy, in a healthy relationship....happy....how the hell did this happen? Unfortunately we already told our moms at that time, partially to help cheer ang, and I knew my mom would be hype as well. I knew it was early, but I told some close friends as well. The pain I felt from that, I just didn't really expect. It was, really sad....I delayed our trip to Boston twice because I really just couldn’t bring myself to leave the bed and sit on a train for 6 hours. I almost canceled altogether but KNOWING NOW THAT THE FUCKING WORLD WAS GOING TO SHUT DOWN, I'm really glad we still went. It was reassuring to get my hugs from my mom, cry it out with her, and see the fam. Except Kendall was such a douche that visit *rolls eyes*. I did get to go see the friends pop up which LEGIT made my whole holiday. As such a huge fan, it was AMAZING, simply, amazing, and I got to enjoy it with my two older cousins and of course, the Dame. 

So that brings us to the new year of 2020. 2020 the year I think EVERYONE thought was going to be amazing, and maybe it will be. Maybe everything that’s going on albeit sad, overwhelming, insane....is in fact the year we all really needed. The Amazon was on fire, forever and as someone who truly cares about global warming that was super stressful. We almost had WWIII thanks to good old Trump, but boy oh boy....that was just the tip of the iceberg. A few weeks later AGAIN, I call my dr telling them I still haven’t gotten my period, my boobs hurt, and wtf is going on? She tells me to take another pregnancy test, which I thought was a joke because I JUST had a miscarriage weeks before, and yes we had sex, but we were ‘careful’. COME TO FIND OUT, my ass is pregnant again. I was, very confused...a little upset because I was planning on waiting a bit before trying for real again. I mean we just dealt with so much loss between nana and the miscarriage, I hadn’t even fully processed what my body just went through. I remember angrily buying the test because, those shits aren’t cheap.....peeing with the door open with Dame downstairs, (not at ALL romantic like the first time I told him) and looking down like....wait. “WHAT THE FUCK” about 3 times was said, I explained to dame this indeed does say I’m pregnant, but how?? 

30 minutes later, the world finds out Kobe Bryant died. There were a lot of emotions that day for sure. Even though I wasn’t a die hard Kobe fan or anything, for some reason this one really made me sad. Maybe because I was currently listening to a book his personal coach wrote; relentless....which is REALLY fucking good.

A week later, I'm confirmed via bloodwork that I am indeed pregnant and it’s time for take two! I didn't get excited until I passed my first trimester, just in case...but now at almost 26 weeks, I’m really excited to meet her. My babygirl! It’s still wild to know I’m about to be a mom, but I’m really pumped for both of us and I know we’ll make great parents. 

Ah yes, the mid march, covid 19 hits America. I was supposed to go on a three city tour to the west coast which I was very much looking forward to, before the world stopped. In fact, it was that very weekend, right after we had our ultrasound, the first and only visit Dame was allowed to come in, that everything stopped. A week or so later, a mid level of depression kicked in for me, which lasted about a month. I couldn’t believe that after WEEKS of puking and being dead ass tired, I was finally ready to work again, but I was Essentially unemployed. The west coast gig was a cute check, I had multiple events coming up that got canceled....weddings that got postponed, and all I could think about was I’m about to have a kid with no money. I went almost two entire months without making ANY money....luckily unemployment kicked in and I got a couple of grants I applied for because I really don’t know what I would’ve done. My mom of course was in my corner, and Dame would start working from home, but still fully employed so at least we wouldn’t be homeless. I knew there were hundreds of thousands of people in my boat, if not worse but I couldn’t help but be consumed with not making any money, and my 2020 year essentially being wiped out. 

Again, this was supposed to be MY year. Be a parent, make a lot of money, and I felt like I just fell flat on my face, in mud, and was suffocating. 

America’s approach to covid was trash, more and more people died...I was worried about my mom and aunts as they're older and more susceptible. This is the longest I've gone without seeing my mom, but thanks to technology! We literally FaceTime every day. 

I almost forgot! Red literally almost died. He got attacked by a pit that lives up the street and it was one of the scariest things I ever dealt with. We just came back from a cute little drive, it was absolutely beautiful out, and I just remember parking, letting him out for a walk, looking at a dog running but I couldn’t tell if it was on a leash or not. I then realized nope, this bitch is not on a leash, crossing the street, and watching it whip its head at me and red and sprinting across the street to attack him. I was absolutely terrified. My baby red, is literally getting mangled by a fucking pit by the neck. I’m also pregnant and scared the pit is going to attack me, that my stress is going to cause another miscarriage, and that I’m probably going to watch red die in front of my eyes. I completely blacked out on the woman who was sloppily running to get her dog off of him. Had it been a minute more, max, he would’ve been dead. I still picture it sometimes and it legit makes me so sad, but luckily he pulled through after about a week of healing, and a huge bloody abscess that needed to be drained. 

THEN about a month ago now, George Floyd was killed on tape by a cop and it changed the world. Between Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Abery dying and being cooped up for months in the house, major cities went up in flames, literally. It was a revolution that Is still happening which has caused corporate America to shove ‘black lives matter’ down our throats like black people just popped up, shown privileged ass white people who refuse to try and understand, racist fucks that just hate us so much....and the list goes on.

That’s been our year so far! and it about to get shut down again because because aren't taking covid seriously. 

Pregnancy has been really interesting though....not at all like what they show on tv and the movies. I’ve been emotional as hell crying over my body  changing....constipated af to the point where I now celebrate any time I shit, hella uncomfortable....but I know when we see her face it will indeed all be worth it. Doing this back to back though like Dame envisions....I don’t know man lol. We shall see. She's due in about 3.5 months. Check in before then....

Tdot, out. 

[dragoon811]

Tfw you realise you're going to WWoHP and can totally be time turner Hermione and with a little effort your husband can be Newt Scamander but you gotta make a bow tie and find or make the vest and hope you can find a jacket because there's no time to try to sew one i guess he could be Newt in the suitcase and roll his sleeves up and you already can't sleep because you're stressing about BlizzCon and finishing your Tyrande costume and you still haven't finished even one part of that and you haven't ordered the pieces for your other costume and you now remember you can't put on lipstick without looking like a drunk did it to save your life and you're really going to try to be your elf queen bae like really katie oh and does Bobby's vest still fit him and he needs a dress shirt for seth's wedding and honestly why are you still awake and worrying about this none of this is for over a month and also why are you planning a world of Warcraft themed Christmas and a Christmas potluck with the guildies oh and also the DnD dinner party for tiff's bday and the unicorn party for Liam's bday why is this all exploding in your brain right now this very moment I have to figure out a long ass circle skirt for a fat chick but first I gotta do this tunic and fit it and dye it and do I even have the earrings for Tyrande hey you know what would be cool is if I cosplayed as varian wrynn sometime and what's even cooler would be if my fucking brain would shut off and let me sleep I have to be up in a few hours and I have to socialize tonight

[arpeggiated]

I think it’s just another sign that I’m getting old(er), but I can’t believe that more than half of 2017 has already gone by...? I feel like time moves so slowly when I’m counting days and weeks, but the months pass by while I blink.

Summer school is kicking my ass lol. I’m supposed to be studying rn, but I ended up reminiscing on my yr so far. And what’s a walk down memory lane w/o a nostalgic Tumblr post? (Sorry lmao I get really rambly when I’m sleep-deprived... But also, this is me tryna document my life more, so why not?)

Anyways. Some highlights of my year so far:

It took...maybe 5-6+ yrs of paperwork but my Bà Ngoại (maternal grandmother) finally immigrated to the U.S. ☺☺ I have so many cousins on my mom’s side of the family, and we’re all over the place in terms of age, so our schedules are pretty diff but we do try to make time for her when we can. This yr was filled w/so many “firsts” for her and for us. First Christmas in the states w/her, first Lunar New Year, first Easter, first Fourth of July... One of the first (and worst) outings we took our grandma on was a trip to the botanical gardens, and it was still so, so cold from the winter, and all the foliage was dead. So not only did we probably bore Bà to death, we also got her sick. But idk, we went out to eat afterwards and basically spent the whole day together...--I guess I’d just like to think that she still enjoyed it.

I finally started school full-time again this spring, and it was exhausting, but...(mostly) in a good way? School is always gonna stress me out, but idk. I just wanna somehow find a way to derive motivation from my failures instead of being...overwhelmingly debilitated by them. Instead of being so hard on myself for even the slightest shortcomings. I want to find a way to be inspired by my progress, too, instead of brushing it off as s/t that just “should be.”--It’s unlike me to sound so...optimistic, but I guess I'm just tryna say that even if my victories are small, they’re victories nonetheless, and I should celebrate them.

I initially wanted to quit work but ended up just taking on a diff role in the office. And regardless of how I feel abt the actual job, I’m kinda proud of myself for being able to balance work/school although I kinda wanna try working more this upcoming semester...?

I tried to work on my life balance too. But idk, my life is boring in general though lol. Tbh I prioritized “fun” after school, family, and work, so I wasn’t always consistent, but I did try at times.

I made time for friends when I could (although, admittedly, I have lots of room for improvement).

Went to Vegas...which isn’t like me at all lol, who am I? (But 10/10 would do it again LOL.)

I think my “summer break” lasted 2 weeks. The most exciting thing I did was go on a mini road trip to Austin for Michelle’s birthday lol.

Finally got my navel re-pierced lol.

You know, I’ve been in a slump for a while but I think reflecting on the high points of my yr made me realize that, even though it was hard, 2017 wasn’t...completely shitty...? So, maybe I will try to do this again. See y’all in December. ☺😉

[vampire-core]

/post/161320161315 every single Fucking cmnc character. every single one. trust me dude (if u want!!!)

fucken hell yeah hyperfixation time

FRANCES

A: what I think realistically

tbh frances seems like the type of person where playin the piano is like. a coping mechanism for her?? like if shes stressed/angry/havin a Bad Time she either

a: plays a Sad Tune to angst

b: plays something AGGRESSIVE to get her anger out

c, a rare option: plays smth happy to take her mind off it

bc she seems like the person to Wallow in her own sadness tbh im guessin c is Rare but

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

frances wears horribly fucking clashing colors like. bright neon orange and the ugliest brown-green mixed and goes out like that in sunglasses

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

frances didnt have a good home and she got with junior to get Out of it and then he turned out to be a piece of shit and her life just spiraled Down

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes an agender lesbian with three gfs

HENRY

A: what I think realistically

tbh henry totally seems like hed learn to bake for nancy like. i know hes in-canon a horrible cook but like. imagine this sweetie taking secret baking lessons for like Forever and then he surprises nancy on her bday with like. a rlly nice homemade cake and they cry together :’)

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

henry is a clumsy-ass Shit so he breaks things like 384723897423894x and once he managed to break a vase nancy Really liked and she walked in on him Coated in glue and just. “what are you doing” “no nothing what nothing is broken” “henry the vases shards and glue are both everywhere” “everything is fine nancy”

also nancy being at the store and henry seeing a spider and screaming on the counter until she got home

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

henry living with the eternal guilt over taking the “wrong” choice even though there was no good choice because he either stayed in a place where no issues were being worked out or he left :^)

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

hes a trans bABY AND I LOVE HIM SO FUCKIN MUCH

NANCY

A: what I think realistically

tbh i can imagine her bein in a book club but being the Shy One who never talks during meetings

also i can imagine her learning to paint and Loving It and showing henry the paintings which show what her world is like and hes like “:00!!!”

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

NANCY SPRITING AROUND IN HIGH HEELS TRYING TO CRUSH A SPIDER WHILE SHE AND HENRY BOTH FUCKING SOB BECAUSE SHE CANT MANAGE TO KILL THE SPIDER

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

nancy living with crushing guilt and abandonment issues but hiding it because she doesnt want to bother henry and she keeps randomly crying :)))

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes genderfluid as FUCK and has a gf

BONUS: JUNIOR

A: what I think realistically

tbh this dude is fuckin Shitty and hes def the type of dude to have like 3 gfs at once but not an open relationship just straight-up cheating

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

in a modern au junior discovers furry culture and refuses to wear anything but a pigeon fursuit for three years straight

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

he left frances with more trauma than she mayb had :))))

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

hes a fuckin furry. let him be a FURRY MAKE HENRY BUFF AGAIN I THINK YOU MEAN MAKE JUNIOR A PIGEON AGAIN

BONUS: PATTY

A: what I think realistically

she has a Huge family and sends all of them christmas cards, and she only has one great-niece who cares enough to reply and visit and stuff and sometimes the neice brings her kids and patty fuckin loves kids and spoils em like a grandchild

also she sends christmas cards to her neighbors and invites them over for dinner weekly

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

she sews and she once had an awful neighbor who was a total bitch so she bought this cheap-ass shirt, fixed it up in a day, but it looked new and beautifully made and the neighbor felt so bad and patty just. >:3c dont be a bitch

the neighbor got to keep the gift tho and was Nicer and patty was :3c

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she feels SO BAD that she didnt notice henry and nancy being missing sooner bc she ALWAYS wanted to be friends w them both and she loved em to bits

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes a trans lesbian and has a long-time wife :3c

KENNITH (this ones just gonna be kin shit but shhhh ;))) )

A: what I think realistically

if its not a school day and hes home alone kennith 100000% will Not change out of his pajamas and will yell at you for wearing shoes in his room dont fuckin touch him with your nasty-ass feet stephamie

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

KENNITH GETS SUPER DRUNK AND STARTS FORGETTING THINGS HE JUST DID AND GETTING REALLY FUCKING CONFUSED AS STEPH LAUGHS HER ASS OFF THREE FEET AWAY (based on my own experiences)

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

kennith has an ed he doesnt know how to deal with and doesnt even think is that Bad so hes just suffering :’))) can relate buddy

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

hes trans you cowards and in a qpp with steph

STEPH

A: what I think realistically

steph is Rlly skilled at punching and taught kennith how to punch but also if u rub her back she will Deactivate in .2 seconds so even if she acts tough she has a fuckin self-destruct button and its her back

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

STEPH AND KENNITH MAKING DIRECT EYE CONTACT AS THEY COME UP WITH INCREASINGLY BAD ALTERNATE TITLES FOR A PENIS

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

steph tends to put on a Happy Face bc she thinks kenniths problems are worse than hers, so she has no help and no clue how to deal with them and just gets worse and worse :’))

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes a fuckin lesbian in a qpp with kennith you cowards and shes genderfluid

GREG

A: what I think realistically

this man has fuckin Depression my lads and anxiety and tends to self-medicate with weed even tho he Knows its prob not the best option but i mean. hes a retail worker can he afford meds? no

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

if you do Anything greg will probably stay apathetic, and he can say most things with a straight face. he enjoys making completely filthy jokes with an unwavering neutral expression and watching people crumble

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

……………tbh hed prob think he couldve done More to help kennith after he Died but never did so i can imagine hed feel. kinda guilty sdkjfhsdkf maybe my kin ass is just hopeful

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

let him have two moms you cowards (also him and kennith are boyfs dont make the rules my kin ass is GAY)

BONUS: JENNY

A: what I think realistically

….tbh they seem like the type of person who always has a sketchpad and paints a lot and is just Super artsy

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

jenny and kennith lock eyes and they can instantly feel the hatred kennith emits bc t h a t s  h i s  f p  but also they can tell he wants steph to be happy and they can SEE the STRUGGLE on his FACE and he looks kind of like an angry chihuahua

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

…..tbh i dont have anything for them

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

let them be a nonbinary lesbian who draws their gf constantly

BRI (aka kin ass two: electric bogaloo :3c)

A: what I think realistically

tbh they seem like the type of person to have a cat. in my canon it was an orange cat named sherbet B3c they love that cat to Death and show it to avery on video calls

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

bri says “rawr XD” out loud and accidentally says that to a teacher, who stands there for .3 seconds and kind of just goes with it

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

they dont actually die and have to live with their gf bein dead :’)

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

they live and also so does avery and theyre happy fuck you

AVERY

A: what I think realistically

tbh she seems like the type of person to have a wide friend group but only be “close” close with like. 1-2 people??? and like she loves all of her friends but she cant maintain that many close friends

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

she once laughed so hard she snorted soda out of her nose during a video call

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

her last thought is of bri :’)

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

SHE AND BRI ARE  H A P P Y AND ALIVE

SPOI

A: what I think realistically

they seem the type of person to like???? fuckin rag on shows while watching them, ie shout at the screen, point out plot holes etc and then say “wtf i loved it” at the end

also they throw popcorn at the screen during the movies

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

they hide under nancys table and let out a vicious shriek whenever nancy accidentally kicks them

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

they cause Endless Suffering and dont even care like they cant sympathize or manage to be Decent and like. they LAUGH at it and its like??? a s s h o l e

(and i have like No Empathy but i can still manage to be a nice person so?? no excuse there)

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

theyre the one stealing nancys bobbins >:00