#i struggle to write but... maybe i can draw?

[fmab]

So, disclaimer: There’s only three episodes out so far, so maybe some of it is too soon to call dogshit and things will change direction. But I have very mixed opinions on it right now. I also understand that in order to market a show to a wide audience, they have to simplify some of the themes, shuffle plot points, or sensationalize aspects of the story in order to draw and retain viewers who aren’t fans of the books.

Firstly, the positives: I think that the costume design and the casting is pretty great. I think that all of the actors are doing a great job and there are some pretty interesting and funny moments! I think the way they ham up Sanctuary Moon is pretty fun. I really do not have complaints about that at all and I think generally the show is solid enough at a glance.

However…… They are making some changes that honestly have me going what the fuuuuuck at the screen. I can not tell you how many “_ would NOT say that!” moments that we’ve had watching this in VC, especially in this third episode. I really don’t think Dr Mensah would openly admit to Murderbot how she’s stressed and struggling to sleep before they’ve had literally any meaningful time to bond, as she is a private person who struggles with vulnerability (Even Before The Events). I also don’t think that she would tell it to keep its helmet off in order to help remind the crew that its a person -_- Like yeah guys whatever. Just go ahead and write the 1 character who was respectful of Murderbot's boundaries completely doing the opposite.

Also they are majorly fucking with Gurathin’s characterization in a really bad way. Yes, he kind of sucks and is an asshole in the books. But I do not know why they write him purposefully tormenting Murderbot with eye contact? Or having him enter Dr Mensah’s room to smell her pillows when everyone is off the base. Like what the fuckkkkkkk are they doinggggg. Its so uncomfortable. It feels like this is a weird romance conflict that they are setting up for unnecessary drama for the show and its just like………….. This was not needed !!!!!!!!!! There's also so much emphasis on sex and human relationships just in the first 3 episodes alone, even asking Murderbot invasive questions about it. In the books Murderbot is just like “yeah gross” and does not dwell on it. I don’t fucking know. Head in my hands.

While watching this with friends, we all kind of agreed that it felt like the show was not really taking the PresAux team as seriously as it could. I struggle with how to express this, but the books always felt like they were presenting the characters, their professions, their motivations, and Preservation Alliance itself seriously. It was a radical and different thing, and Murderbot happens to think the team is strange because its Murderbot, its used to the Corporation Rim, and because they treat it like a person and they like it. So far, instead of “Murderbot thinks theyre weird for perfectly normal and good things” it feels like the show is framed like the VIEWER is supposed to think they are weird for the wacky hippie society they come from and the wacky ways they act…. Idk I just do not enjoy that!

It feels like they are simultaneously trying to lengthen the story while accidentally shortening and clumsily handling the growth of the characters. I’m trying to cut it some slack and be patient because they may have shuffled around some of the events in order for this to make more sense in a longer form show, and I don’t know what else they have planned! But idk............ I am trying to have hope but these first few episodes are just making me more scared. So. We’ll see !

man the murderbot show is really a little dogshit compared to the books </3

[plutonious]

something something @starlightseer’s tags over here

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Why would you—That's not—I just wanted to ask for help, why did you have to go and make it awkward???

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[cimmerian1275]

@shaotie hope u dont mind the @ but i instantly got reminded of all your incredibly well-written, leo-angst fics with this idea. Thought youd love to read the angst potential of this one <3

Anyways-

Im gonna ramble about this because like woh, wooohhhh, whuuuhhhhhh... Its gonna rattle around in my brain for days. I love these quietly sad stories.

Ive read some Robot Leo fics and theyve destroyed my feels with their sad or unfinished endings where Donnie's just made a simple AI thats incredibly Leo-like n all. One of em (that was finished) just had a super vague "they act too real to be just an ai but the author never confirmed nor denied" so it was left up to interpretation... and the ending was happy/sad with the ai asking to be "let go/let me rest in peace" kind of thing.

But this??? THIS!? HHHHRRRRRR......

THE POTENTIAL!!! They dont know its possessed by the actual Leo thats slowly just manipulating the AI/taking control more and more overtime?? WHU

His bros wouldnt want to get attached to that thing bc, its just a robot! Just Donnie's way of coping that theyve all reluctantly agreed to... (THEYRE STILL GREIVING) Itd probably be rlly awkward for everyone else having a robot clone of your dead brother/friend/sensei walking around. And he gets more lifelike overtime bc Leo's slowly taking control!? Starts getting eerily more accurate to the real Leo? They begin to notice the mannerisms an AI (even one so advanced) somehow has begun to perfect to an insane degree, says things an AI shouldnt even know/be able to come up with but the real Leo does. Does the voice of the robot slowly get closer and closer to Leo's real voice because of the possession? Instead of recorded sounds and reactions, does it start making unique sounds because of it? (Did donnie program the AI/robot to have his memories??? If not, then itd freak them out if it began recalling/referencing things only Leo and the fam knows about. But thatd probably clue them in an ruin the end goal of the plot tbh... BUT STILL)

And when it starts breaking the coding, and disobeying commands, and trying to hang out with the bros who are just severely disturbed and no where near ready for Donnie's eerily similar robot to interact with them, that seems to be trying to replace Leo? What line did Leo cross for Donnie to destroy the robot...? Did his brothers draw the line or did Donnie? Did Leo approach one of his brothers and try to comfort them but it backfired? Did Raph order Donnie to do it? The robot could remind Raph of that possessed rabbit (yk the one hehe) or Mikey couldnt handle seeing Leo's face on a robot, or Donnie couldnt take something of his going awry again when the AI stopped listening... especially when THIS project means so much to him? Maybe theres a final straw, and all the little things just pile up until someone snaps. But on the other hand theres just Leo's ghost trying to return to his fam, spend time with them. Leo doesnt want to be alone so he spends every moment he can around them. He probably isnt fully aware/there at first either... Does he know hijacking the robot wasnt intentional? Does he think Donnie planned this/made a body for his spirit, or that its an accident. OR, did he see Donnie making a robot and take this as his opportunity to return? Didnt know if itd work because his spirit form was so weak, but took a chance and tried anyway?

Can he control it when its powered off? When its powered off/charging is Leo forced out or does he 'sleep'. Does it even need to be charged? Maybe he doesnt need sleep.

What about that learning curve when he begins to override the AI? Whats that like? He probably feels powerless/like a spectator at first, but when he first finally makes the robot follow one of his commands...? The implications!! If he can control it he can come back instead of just watching like an outsider.

But, the thing is when he breaks the coding/doesnt follow whatever rules it just backfires on him because they dont know its Leo possessing it. Does Leo know they dont know? Probably, pretty quickly. Hes just stuck here trying to live a second life. Maybe he tries to tell them, but everyones in denial, or just think its Donnie's coding gone haywire again and become self aware like Shelldon.

Trying to think about whats going on for Leo when Donnie destroys the robot hes living in... just hurts too much to put into words........ that whole situation D:

Little idea I just had:

After Leo's tragic death, Donnie builds a robot that looks just like Leo (like in all those fanfics). The twist? Leo's actual spirit possesses the robot.

At first, Leo's ghost can't do much. He's weak, and so the robot just follows its intended programming while Leo goes along for the ride. But slowly, as Leo gets used to his new existence, he learns to override the robot's AI, and basically use the robot as a new body. But, there's a problem.

Leo's brothers don't know that the robot is possessed. So when Leo starts to disobey the robot's programming, it causes issues. Donnie barely convinced the family to let him undertake this project, and now, his robot is getting far too invasive, clinging to it's "brothers" even when explicitly commanded not to. Of course, this is just Leo trying to interact with his family after being thrust into the spirit realm. But in everyone else's eyes, it's a weird and creepy robot, with faulty AI that can't understand boundaries.

Finally, Donnie has enough. The robot crosses a line, so Donnie takes it out into a sewer tunnel and destroys it, smashing it into scrap metal. The family is glad to be rid of the thing, which they began to see as a flawed coping mechanism. But Leo's spirit still clings to the robot.

And Leo is terrified. He doesn't understand what happened, or why Donnie would do something like that to him. Leo had been using the robot to live a second life, to speak and move freely, to talk with his family. And once Donnie destroys the robot, that is all ripped from him. Without a vessel to ground him in the mortal world, Leo is forced back into the spirit realm, separated from his brothers all over again, rejected by his family. And in his confusion, Leo gets angry.

Strange little things start to happen in the lair. People get calls that just play static, mystic powers fail more often than usual, Donnie's tech malfunctions. It's weird, but no one minds too much.

Then, one day, Donnie walks into his lab, to see Leo's robot, sitting on the table. It's perfectly repaired, to the extent that no one could even tell it was broken in the first place. It's eyelights are on, and it slowly looks up at Donnie.

"I hate you," It says in a perfect copy of Leo's voice. "I hate you."

And for the first time since his robot was finished, Donnie understands that something is very, very wrong.

[v-arbellanaris]

tbd later

i think tht pisses me off the most abt the dalish in terms of how theyre written is the conflation between like. land back movements when it comes to the dalish vs zi onism and how basically this is addressed in truly horrific ways no matter which route you decide to go down

others have done loads of posts on the dalish being allegorical for indigenous peoples, so i wont reiterate that too much. but the problem is that with the addition of datv this is... simply not true. the elves are not the first peoples of thedas -- the dwarves are. the elves, mirroring z ionism, literally show up in the waking world, and violently colonise the space and hoard the resources. im still 98% sure that solas' orb in dai was a titan heart, and the elves were literally mining for lyrium. there are direct parallels between the arguments that z ionists make for settler colonialism in p alestine vs the in-world justifications for the "war" on the titans & dwarves. the ancient elves literally steal the bodies of the titans, mirroring i srael's history of stealing organs and even skin from p alestinian prisoners. elves' arguments of the lands being theirs etc is simply... untrue. and land back movements for the elves when we take this history into account is... an argument for settler colonialism. the land they were "given" by maferath, i.e. the dales, was literally never theirs but it gains such a sinister overtone, and again, parallels western nations "giving" p alestine to z ionists who demanded a state, with the assumption it was "theirs" first. and it wasn't.

at the same time, bw has gone out of it's way to draw clear parallels to the history of the j ewish peoples - between things like the long walk, the exalted march on the dales (harding even says "never again" when you get to the exalted plains), history of slavery for modern elves, etc - all create such a frustrating conflation between j ewish people and z ionism that pisses me off to no fucking end.

it's damn near impossible to solve for me as someone who is neither indigenous nor j ewish, because this representation is not for me. either i ignore datv and the end half of dai to draw more strongly on parallels between indigenous peoples and the dalish, at the expense of ignoring j ewish representation in the narrative. or i buckle down and directly address the z ionist nonsense, which leaves me with a horrible argument for indigenous land back movements. like how do i rework this!!!!!!!!!!!

when i fucking get you, bioware. when i fucking get you, david gaider!!!!!!!!!!!

[beneathsilverstars]

oh no i’ve always been the one in my family saying “everyone write your christmas wishlists! i want to buy everyone lots of presents so you have to write lots of ideas! it’s wishlist time! here’s the google doc link please fill it up! what do you mean you can’t think of anything!!”

but i think sometime between last year and this year i became the sort of adult who can’t think of anything….

[araneitela]

Me staring at test results: It makes so much sense for her, but if I don't specify or elaborate, then we end up with the fanon take. Ugh, how do I easily explain that if you look at the word 'sex' through a much more old-fashioned lens instead of the modern one, that you'll get a vastly different picture of it?

/takes angycat.png typing to my tags

[inorganicorgan]

I used that error message generator to make some errors for Rumi and Sera (for future use in art)

[mimir97477906]

im so sosry for ranting abour this again but auhgufhgh im making a ref sheet of my ocs for myself beacse EVERYTIME I DRAW THEM THEY LOOK SOOOSK DIFFERENT os i thoguht maybe this can help me memorize their faces but EVEN THO IM USING GUIDELINES THE SAME CHARACTER LOOKS LIKE DIFFERENT PEOPLE ITS JUST A HEAD TURN AROUND I CANT DO THIS I FEEL SO VIOLENT WHY IS MY ART STYLE HAVING AN IDENTITY CRISIS HOWWWWWWW DO I FIX THIS

[ruinlost]

I have done it,the about page is completely updated now I have added all ive been meaning to add to it including updated art..huzaah-!

[dunmanticarchivistsmain]

istg one more beautiful piece of writing inspired by my self indulgent doodling and im gonna explode into one million pieces on fire <3

Round 3 fired and away! For your latest art, I'm sure we will have a perfectly normal conversation about this (and secret life tomorrow once I've watched it). Not sure if I need to put warnings on this, somewhat heavy on the selfwhump in the first bit

When Scarlet Pearl rose from the crater of Scott's sacrifice, she was untouched by the violence, as though the carnage of the previous day had not occured. Mindlessly she set about collecting the detrius of the casualties, a half-remembered habit of tidying up. A battered diamond chestplate, a bloody sword, a splintered bow. All with no body to bury. Nonetheless, she piled it into individual chests and heaped a mound of dirt over each. Sticking a sign over these graves, she left an epitaph for their ending.

"Scott, the star that went off with a bang"

"Martyn & Cleo, divided in life and death"

"Impulse & Bdubs, something wicked their way came"

"Etho & Joel, the boat burned, everything burned"

At last, with Jimmy and Tango's death already marked, she made her way back to her tower, a single leftover sign tucked away. One with her name on it. One last ending.

The lonely perches of her tower loomed out of her exhausted reach. It didn't seem worth the effort, to climb all the way up, to where pain had made its home in her heart. Scarlet Pearl wondered aloud, to no one but Tilly, if she should just dig her own grave and wait for death to claim her.

A reply unexpected came from the rustling in the brush.

"Who's there?" Scarlet Pearl called out, gripping her axe, then thought better of it. She did after all, call for the end. And Tilly didn't seem to mind whoever was out there, tail wagging and head tilted in confusion. A state of mind shared by Scarlet Pearl, for she was sure of being alone. She was cursed to be; victory had ensured it. She fell to her knees, letting the happy, silly look on Tilly fill the imminent void.

"You", whispered a voice that was at once familiar and foreign to her ears.

"That's not an answer mate", her head turned to the source of the voice.

Stepping out was an impossible figure. A worn blue hoodie, flowing brown hair and piercing grey eyes. Scarlet Pearl had to look away, she could not meet her mirror's gaze. Was it one of pity? Was it contempt? She could barely guess from a glimpse; would Death be so cruel to use herself in its image?

The question of who was an instinctive one, but the thought made her shudder, jumbling her words "who- why are you here?"

"You. I'm here for you."

"Get away from me!"

Shaking her head reflexively in denial, Scarlet Pearl fumbled for a weapon, finding the sign with her name on it and raised it in one shaking hand. In the depths of despair, her instincts found she would not let Death take her without a fight yet. She was Scarlet Pearl, undefeated and unscarred, survivor of the death games-

The apparition, as she was fully revealed in the moonlight, was no perfect replica of her. Patched up scrapes, bandaged wounds littering her unarmored skin. They looked to be in a real rough state, Scarlet Pearl could easily take on this version of her. But there was something about how her mirror carried themself, the gentleness in their voice, that paralyzed Scarlet Pearl. Not from fear or resignation. But an ugly, painful envy of the affection in her mirror's eyes.

How could she love or be loved ever again?

This Pearl sank to her knees in front of Scarlet Pearl, interlocking one of their hands. Scarlet Pearl was torn, her touch starved self cried out for the first human contact in days? Weeks-, wait human? That hand fit in hers so smoothly, they were undeniably her own.

"You're not Death" Scarlet Pearl said, feeling exceptionally foolish for being unable to recognise herself. Tilly clearly did, nuzzling between the two happily.

"I am no more Death than you are," the other Pearl agreed, gently prising the sign from her other hand, leaning it against the base of the tower then capturing her limp fingers with their own warm ones.

"I'm just the you, who you'd let lead you home."

The last gasp of adrenaline faded; oh Void she was so tired, so bone-deep tired of being alone. All Scarlet Pearl could do is clutch those hands, as though they'd fade away if she didn't.

But they were already were, the Pearl-that-was-her slowly becoming less substantial as their warmth lingered and spread.

"Don't leave me! How will I get home? Where even is a home for me?" she cried plaintively, the numbness wearing off, the pain sweeping in.

"Hold me in your heart. Hold your hurts; and hold closer the hope of their healing."

She could already feel her grasp slipping, her mauled mending mirror of a self, fading, no, melding into her. Gashes opened where swords have left their mark, bruises bloomed with a fresh vengeance and her heart felt like it was torn from her chest anew.

"Home is where they are waiting for you."

The last wisps of their fingers parted and Pearl collapsed, falling forwards-

Pearlescentmoon fell out of this world Pearlescentmoon joined the game

Into loving arms.

[ozzyfromthecafeteria]

trying to search for tips for doing art sucks because some of them are just. oh do this style! oh don’t do this style! thog don’t caare about stylization i need to learn Shapes and Colors!!

[geometricalien]

15 people, 15 questions

Tagged by @ultfreakme thank you!! 💕💕

1.) Are you named after anyone?

My first name is biblical and since my parents are Christian and my sibling also has a biblical name, I always presumed it was bc of that. My middle name though is actually a last name from my lineage

2.) When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday! It was day 2 of being home alone since my roommate left for the week and I was feeling particularly lonely since another friend wasn't able to hang out with me the last couple of days in addition to feeling isolated from family during the holiday season Plus being on my period --- yeahhh

3.) Do you have kids?

No. Nope. Nuh uh. Ask me again in 10 years

4.) What sports do you play/have played?

I did volleyball and basketball a lot in my youth, did soccer in elementary school

5.) Do you use sarcasm?

Sometimes. Mostly only with friends when we know we are being sarcastic and are playing it up? Otherwise, I'm just such a literal person I hardly use it elsewhere (even when my friends and I are joking/using sarcasm we often say "just kidding" afterwards)

6.) What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Honestly height and hair. I have such bad face blindness, and I've had it forever. But I'll remember if someone was taller/shorter than me and their hair color

7.) What’s your eye colour?

Grayish blue. They were described like ice before if that helps

8.) Scary movies or happy endings?

Depends on my mood. I like horror movies and there are just so many different kinds- I haven't found a movie that genuinely scares me in a long time though... The last one I remember was Nope. I walked out of the theater and was just watching all the clouds in the sky fkdlsajf

9.) Any talents?

Nothing is really coming to mind... I guess I'm crafty? And it shows itself in different ways. I enjoy the process of creating. Be it in writing or drawing or baking and decorating or following steps- I enjoy having a vision and creating it

10.) Where were you born?

Usa

11.) What are your hobbies?

I read books and fanfiction, I write fanfiction, watch anime and shows, cook, bake, play genshin impact. I've been playing wordle every day for almost a year now. I like tactical stuff with instructions- like legos or putting together furniture- I got this DIY book nook last week and spent like 8 hours putting it together. In school as part of the STEM program we learned how to draft both by hand and on the computer through CAD and Solidworks- those were fun. I miss that. Again it uses that same part of the brain as legos. I also like playing with cards. I have solitaire and pinocle on my phone. I was also learning how to play chess (like the strategy part)

12.) Do you have any pets?

My family home has the cat I got my 8th birthday (barn cat, brown tabby with four white socks on his paws). In the apartment though there is my roommate's black lab, half ragdoll half Siamese cat, and who knows how many fish that keep having babies

13.) How tall are you?

5'10'' (on a good day sshhh)

14.) Favourite subject in school?

MATH HELLO! (......... but also the drafting classes damn i miss those)

15.) Dream job?

Can there be such a thing as having extreme trivia knowledge on my fandoms? I'd like that alot but otherwise.... I'd like to work at one of those cat [Blank] things. Be it a café or a bar or a bookstore (that'd be awesome!!) I think that would be fun

Tagging @alienjack @szivtalan @glitt-erm @amnestyaubrey @farklelucas @brazilian-whalien52 @bloodyspade0000 @traditionalartist @illbebuyingallofthoseflowers and anyone else who sees this and wants to hop in ☺️

[aria0fgold]

I'm fired up now. No more struggling, I'm going to finish this drawing before June 30th and I WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN!

[andr0nap-02]

Say, friend, its never too late to start writing...Should you need some help, my Dms are open and ready to assist! Im an amateur fic writer myself who has received some feedback in past, so i can help you get at least a small head start.

But you gotta promise us that 50k Alloid fic, got it?

ive dabbled in a bit of writing... but i always get burnt out around 2k and never touch the doc again 😔✌️

i appreciate the encouragement tho!!!

[menkhu]

wait. ok. hold on.