#i swear ive seen him before. either him or someone very similar has been on my morning bus before

[senseiwu]

Love being called a "spastic with your walking stick" (my white cane.... because I'm blind....) by some rando on the train muttering to himself and calling me a "fucking junkie"

[yesttoheaven]

AMOR FATI

pairing – neil x female!reader

wc – 3.8k

warnings – mention of death, self-blame, anxious/intrusive thoughts, questioning reality, refusal of help, guns, stalking, but I swear there's a light at the end of the tunnel haha

a/n – The last time I suffered so hard for the death of a character, was when Newt died (Maze Runner) and now Neil has captured all my attention and his death has hit me in the same way 😩 I needed a happy ending so I decided to write this!

The Eternal Return and Amor Fati mentioned in this fic are one of the main ideas of Nietzsche's philosophy.

English is not my first language. I am getting help from google translator and he is not always a good ally, so I apologize for any typos or grammar errors.

Y/N – your name

She approached the painting hanging on the wall, watching the details closely. Ouroboros. A serpent eating its own tail. Months ago, when Y/N was visiting an antique store in Mumbai, she saw that same symbol. The owner of the establishment approached when she realized her interest in the piece and explained that Ouroboros represents the ideas of movement, continuity and, in consequence, Eternal Return. A concept that the universe and all existence and energy has been recurring, and will continue to recur, in a self-similar form an infinite number of times across infinite time or space.

"Max finally fell asleep." Kat returned to the living room, attracting Y/N's attention.

She walked away from the painting, taking back her seat on the sofa and asked:

"How is he after everything that happened?"

For a moment, Kat looked at the painting on the wall and then at the friend she won in the midst of confusion over the Algorithm. At that time, despite being fighting on the front lines to prevent a possible Third World War, Y/N seems complete. Happy. Today that happiness no longer exists in her eyes.

Letting out a sigh, the woman sat next to her, answering:

"Sator was never a present father. He was always busy... now i can see the kind of work he was involved in. Anyway, Max just got used to his absence."

"It's notable that he's happier at your side. When we first met Max was a bit of an introvert, but today he is radiant." Y/N confessed, showing a small smile and the blonde shook her head, agreeing with her words. "How's everything?"

"Perfectly well. It's weird sometimes... After years of being stuck in a failed relationship, freedom is good."

"It seems like life is good for one of us." The woman let out a bitter laugh, putting the latest events on a scale, but she didn’t want her friend to think she wasn’t happy for her. She really was. "I'm sorry, I just..." The words remain stuck in her throat, while she covers her face with her hands. In addition to physical and mental fatigue, Y/N tried to hide her grief.

Kat touched her shoulder, showing that she was here.

"I know you're hurt, but it's been three months and you never talked about what happened that day... This is not good for you."

"What do I have to say, Kat? The guy I fell in love with was a fucking time traveler! And now he's dead and I don't know what to do. My life just... stopped without him."

"I can imagine how difficult it's for you to cross that line without Neil at your side, but giving up is not an option. Grief is consuming you little by little and you are just accepting it..."

"We are trained to contain our emotions and deal with death in the best possible way. It used to be easy for me, but then he came and turned my life upside down." Y/N put her hands on her knees and stood up, walking without an exact destination. "Neil was always one step ahead of us all..." She stepped forward too and found the painting again, but her mind was lost in thoughts about him. Neil knew her so well. And he had a charming smile, but completely arrogant at the same time. "I was sent to Mumbai to help two agents and when I arrived at Priya's penthouse that night, there he was. When he saw me, that was the first and only time that he let his guard down. I'll never forget how he looked at me, it was one of those breathtaking moments... Completely cliché, I know."

On the sofa, Kat was impressed. When Y/N turned towards her, there was a bright smile on her face. The simple memory brought her a breath of happiness and Kat enjoyed seeing her friend like that, but unfortunately that moment did not last long. Memories aren't enough. Neil is dead and nothing can change that.

"I miss him so much, Kat." The smile disappeared as soon as tears appeared in her eyes, cascading down her cheeks.

"My dear..." Worried about her, the woman got up quickly and approached Y/N, wrapping her in a tight hug. "I'm really sorry."

"I spent the last three months locked up in my a-apartment because I thought I could handle this situation on my own. At times I b-believed it was just a fever dream... Maybe I was losing my mind, but this is proof that everything was real." Through tears blurring her vision, she looked at the watch on her wrist, remembering that night.

Y/N was in a private cabin on the ship. The others were with Ives and Wheeler, going over the mission in search of any loose ends. A standard procedure. Y/N knew she should be with them, but she needed a moment alone to organize her thoughts. And that moment is now. The past few weeks had been a real mess. The inversion was difficult to explain and mainly to understand. She was used to field missions, but being an inverted soldier on the battlefield was not in her plans. Either way, she agreed to be a part of it and running away with biased assumptions was not going to help. Humanity depends on them.

Three knocking on the door caught Y/N's attention, but she remained silent, waiting for the person to give up and leave, but when it didn't, she just murmured 'Come in'.

"So, here you are." The man used a surprised tone of voice and closed the door behind him. "What will our superior think when he learns that you are running away from the briefing?"

She let out a laugh before answering in the same mood:

"Don't worry, I know this mission like the back of my hand. I just needed a moment."

"There's something wrong? Are you ok?" Neil spilled the questions quickly, visibly concerned for her.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Neil." Y/N smiled at him, but looked away just seconds later, confessing: "Maybe I'm a little surprised by the situation. I have spent years dealing with terrorists, but the inversion is really not my point."

"I'm not good with advice, but someone once said to me: Don't try to understand. Certain things in the world do not need an explanation."

"It's wise advice, but I'm a methodical person. Logic has always been my ally in missions."

"A methodical person, huh?" He asked with an arrogant smile playing on his lips and she just rolled her eyes. "I know how worried you were when Sator shot Kat, but we are using the inversion to save the world and you're one of the most brilliant agents I have ever seen. Everything will be fine."

"Are you praising me?"

"What's that? Can't I praise my partner's talent?" Neil pulled up a chair to sit across from her, crossing his arms.

"In that case, thank you. Remind me to put this on my resume." Those words made him laugh and that sound could easily be compared to music in her ears.

Touching her knee, Neil added:

"We are very confident with the mission. You don't need to worry."

"Are you sure?"

"I cannot say that unforeseen events do not happen, but we are prepared for that." Y/N knew he was right, but this mission is the biggest one so far. It's not about saving a country. It's about saving the entire world. This was arousing insecurities in her and it was like walking in a minefield. Ironically, she was familiar with this, but not in such catastrophic proportions. "I want you to have this." The man took his watch off his wrist and handed it to her.

"What’s that supposed to mean?" The question came out as a whisper from between her lips.

It didn't make sense. Why does everything in this conversation look like a farewell?

"We will be on opposite sides tomorrow, but i want you to know... I will always be with you, Y/N."

"I saw the way he looked at you... That's how I used to look at Sator before he became a monster in my life." Kat started, running a hand through Y/N's hair. "When I was lying on that stretcher and partially drugged with the medicines, I saw him beside you... watching you sleep. There was so much love in his eyes. Love for a lifetime, Y/N. So don't do this to yourself. The way he left hurt us all, but there was nothing you or any other agent could do to change what happened at Stalask-12. Neil saved the world. This gave us a second chance. You cannot give up now. This organization needs you. And keeping your mind busy at that moment is the first step towards a fresh start."

"N-No, I can't..." She broke the hug, shaking her head in denial. "I left the organization."

"What? Don't you work for Tenet anymore? But when we first met you told me that you can't imagine working in another area... And that this is your life's work."

"Being an agent is my life's work. I was in Yemen when Tenet found me and assigned me to this mission. My only job is to make this world a less hostile place, but the motto of this organization is not what I believe, Kat. What's happened's happened. Really? It doesn't work for me." Y/N ended the sentence with drops of anger in her voice and Kat did not say a single word.

Through the newspapers, Max's mother followed what was happening in Yemen over the years – a real endless war – and knowing that Y/N was in the middle of it, makes the situation unquestionable. People died in front of her eyes. Friends of the corporation. And then some time later, Tenet arrived with a fresh start, but in the end everything remained the same. She lost Neil. It is as if her life's work never had a happy ending because the world will never stop being a hostile place.

"He knows?" It was easy for Y/N to identify who she was talking about. The Protagonist. Or just TP.

"Here's another problem. I worked with him and indirectly worked for him at the same time! God, that man created this organization! And his name remains a mystery to us all!" She pinched the tip of her nose, feeling frustrated with all the secrets that haunt this organization. "And answering your question, yes, he knows, but he did not argue about it. I was a complete mess and he was not doing very well either... He stayed in my apartment for the first month, probably to make sure I didn't do anything stupid." And Y/N would be forever grateful for that. She likes him. Just as friends, of course. TP was a reserved man, but it was he who held her when everything was falling apart. "But we've had a fight. I blamed him for what happened at Stalask-12 and since then we haven't spoken anymore."

It was easy to see that they carried more pain than they could actually bear. Y/N lost her great love and the man lost his best friend. The situation just turned into a conflict between them and that was the result.

Realizing the sadness reflected in Y/N's eyes, Kat decided to change the subject of the conversation. Keeping that thought, she smiled and pointed to the painting on the wall. Maybe that could help.

"You seemed interested in this one."

"Oh yes, in my spare time I am a lover of art and its meanings. It is really attractive the way Ouroboros is connected to the Eternal Return..."

"And Amor Fati too." Kat completed, piquing Y/N's curiosity. This part was new to her. "It's impossible to affirm the Eternal Return without loving life. We need to learn that things happen as they do. Sometimes seemingly good. Sometimes seemingly bad. We don’t always get it our way... Unless we choose that whatever way it is, is our way. When we choose to Amor Fati, to love everything that happens, to love our fate, then we will always get it our way. Because the way it is, is the way it is. Unchangable. And therefore it must be good, even if it sucks."

These words touched Y/N's heart. This was a contradiction to what she is experiencing right now. Love your fate. She would like to understand and accept what happened, she really wanted, but why is it so difficult to move on?

Because Neil is dead.

That was the only explanation for her. The end of a relationship would be more acceptable. If he were alive, things would be completely different now. However, grief is overwhelming. How could she just accept what happened?

"I... I gotta go." That was all she managed to say before picking up her bag and leave the penthouse, ignoring Kat's protests.

When the elevator doors closed, an exhausted sigh left her mouth and the instant she saw her reflection in the mirror, Y/N wanted to cry again. After three months alone, she thought visiting her friend would be a good idea. Kat was willing to help, but the problem was that Y/N is not allowing herself to be helped. As soon as the doors opened, she left the metal box and found the hotel lobby partially empty. Her watch showed it was 3:13 AM, this explains the absence of people on the street as well. In front of her car, she searched the bag for the key and coincidentally her cell phone started to vibrate. Probably the text messages were from Kat, but confusion hit Y/N the instant she looked at the identifier and saw that the messages did not belong to any of her contacts.

Stay away from the car

They put a bomb

I'm on my way

Her first reaction was to take a few steps back and look around, trying to understand what’s going on and find the person responsible for these texts, but Y/N was alone in the dark street. When she thought it might be an unnecessary prank, a black SUV approached at high speed. The car stopped just a few meters away from where she was, but that was enough to make her body freeze.

"Y/N, come on!" The man exclaimed, the urgency in his voice would have made her run immediately, but she didn't move. Her feet had frozen on the floor. This cannot be real. "Come on, get in the car! We don't have much time!" He tried again, it was possible to hear the sound of the other cars approaching.

Y/N watched in slow motion the moment he left the car and ran towards her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"How is this possible?" She asked in a whisper, completely lost in his blue eyes.

"It's good to see you too." Neil admitted, feeling his heart race. She looked so fragile in his arms. Very different from the last time he saw her. "We have to go." He accompanied her to the car and as soon as Y/N took the passenger seat, he returned to his seat.

For her this moment was like a fever dream, so she just looked down and started counting her fingers. One, two, three, four, five... Neil noticed, but said nothing, just kept driving. The cars were fast approaching, but he would do everything possible and impossible to get Y/N away from these people.

"Give me your cell phone." He looked at her for a brief moment, but when Y/N didn’t react, he wasn't sure if she heard it, so he just took the phone from her hand and threw it out the window. That was enough to get her out of the numbness:

"What the fuck, Neil?!"

Despite the adrenaline rushing through his body, the man laughed.

"If I found you because of your cell phone, they can too." After that, he crossed the red light and made a risky turn, trying to end this chase. "Before you ask, no, this is not a dream. Unfortunately this is very real..." Neil didn't like what he saw when he adjusted the rearview mirror. "And now they are getting ready to shoot us."

That observation put Y/N on alert and she looked back, seeing a man with an AKS-74U and another with a Beretta M12.

"If you knew it wasn't a dream, why didn't you bring an armored car?" She ran her tongue between her lips, smiling at the man beside her. Neil tried to argue, but she just took off her seat belt and picked up the Glock 19 stuck in the vest he was wearing.

Y/N crawled out of the car and sat at the window opening. This encouraged the men in the two cars to start shooting, trying desperately to hit her. Neil shouted something that she couldn't understand and then she felt one of his hands on her thigh, giving her stability to continue with the plan. With her arm resting on the roof of the vehicle, Y/N aimed the gun at the car that was closest to them. Her intention was not to start a firefight in the middle of one of the main avenues in the city, but she had no other option. Holding her breath, she fired the first shot and the bullet hit the tire, taking the car out of circulation. Y/N celebrated while preparing for the second car, but dealing with this one was not an easy task. Now they were in a tunnel and, consequently, losing speed because of the other cars that came along the way. Neil left two pats on her leg, indicating that she had better get back in the car and that is what she did. Screams, honks and gunshots echoed through the tunnel, turning the place into a war zone. Whoever these men were, Y/N knew they weren't going to give up.

Tired of playing cat and mouse, she went to the back seat, getting on her knees. Through the broken glass above the trunk, Y/N adjusted the aim of her gun, ignoring the sniper and focusing on the driver. With another accurate shot, the bullet hit the man's chest and he lost control of the vehicle. The car overturned for a while, streaking the asphalt, but no other car was involved in the accident. Y/N sighed in relief and looked for another possible threat, just checking, but when she realized that the area was clean, she returned to the passenger seat, leaving the gun on the dashboard in front of her.

"Next time I'm going to get an armored car." Neil comments, stepping on the gas. "Nice shot, by the way."

"Anytime." Y/N smiled, trying to control her breathing.

With the adrenaline disappearing from her body, it was hard for her to believe that this was really happening. For many nights she cried, wondering what it would be like if Neil just came back to her, but now she was afraid to wake up and realize that it was just another vivid dream.

The sun was rising when they arrived in a shed away from the city. Seen from the outside, the place was a little scary, but the interior wasn't that bad. There was some equipment like trackers, walkie-talkie, bulletproof vests, weapons, ammunition; a table with a mess of papers and on the other side two beds and something that Y/N supposed to be a private bathroom.

"Where we are?"

We. That simple word echoed in her mind. Y/N thought that "we" didn't exist anymore.

"For now in a safe place. It's dangerous for you out there." He answered the question and took a bottle of water, handing it to her after taking a generous sip.

"Who are these people, Neil?" She wanted answers, lots of answers, and that frustrated the british spy because for the first time he didn't know what could happen.

Neil had a mission and that mission ended with him dying in Stalask-12, but after what TP did, everything changed.

"We have a name..." He wanted to say more, he wanted to reassure her, but that was all he had at the moment.

Y/N drank some water and left the bottle on the table, looking at some reports and photos. All photos were of the same man.

Lenard Vaher

"But apparently they don't just want you..."

It took a few seconds and when the realization hit Y/N, concern appeared on her face.

No, not him.

"Where's TP? He's safe, right?"

"He was going to see you when Lenard's men kidnapped him. This happened three weeks ago." And considering the anger in Neil's voice, finding TP was proving an almost impossible task, but in the midst of so much concern, one point attracted Y/N's attention.

"You said he was going to see me..."

"There was something he needed to tell you." Neil sighed, resting his hands on the table. A few strands of blond hair fell over his forehead, but he quickly shook his head back, as he always did. "He returned to Stalask-12, Y/N."

After that statement, the only sound that could be heard was Neil's footsteps closing the distance between them and the first thing she did was put her hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. Neil smiled. And that was not one of his famous smiles. That was a shy smile. His heart was beating like a drum and it was all because of her. Loving Y/N was something so special and pure, that Neil accepted his fate without a second thought. Saving the world, he was giving her a second chance to live, but now he is the one who received a second chance.

"I missed you every day." Before she could begin to consider the meaning behind his words, he settled his mouth upon hers, robbing her of thought.

She closed her eyes and melted against him, flattening her hands on his arms. Neil caught her bottom lip in his teeth, nibbling and licking at it until she thought she might perish from the intensity of the feeling. She whimpered at the sensation, and he rewarded the sound by deepening the kiss, giving her everything she desired. His tongue stroked hers, slow and insistent. A lush, decadent pleasure unfolded within them, snaking through their veins as though it had lain coiled in anticipation for years.

Just waiting for this moment.

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a/n – really hope you enjoy it and thank you soooo much for reading ;)

[inosukeslefttoe]

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

[newtedison]

my thoughts on the crank palace

i touched about this a bit on twitter (@newtedison_) but i figured i would Try and touch on my points more here (spoilers obv) again, its sort of lengthy

1. im gonna start with talking about the ending because i need to get it out of the way. either i havent read the books in a while and i forgot some canon (which could very well be true, i literally forgot that Bliss was a thing) or this ending makes no sense and is (somehow) setting up for a tdc sequel? so first off, newt was shot in the Head with a Bullet and somehow didnt immediately die? i know that that can happen in real life but it just seems so unlikely that not only would he not die, but he would survive long enough for someone from WCKD to transport him back to their labs and try to revive him. and who the fuck was he talking to? did thomas get newt’s journal at some point and i just dont remember? like i said, either im forgetting stuff or this ending doesnt make sense and is setting up a sequel which...i’ll get to later

2. why was this written? like, what was the point? i understand that this wasnt going to be all sunshine and rainbows but i feel like i was reading torture porn. like, literally all that happens is newt gets tortured (which is described in detail) by WCKD soldiers, has bouts of insane-fueled rage where he KILLS MULTIPLE PEOPLE, and then he dies. ??? what did this contribute to the canon? what was this trying to accomplish? truthfully, i never really wanted a newt-POV...well, anything except for maybe those little nuggets he wrote some time ago. but even if i HAD wanted a newt-POV novella, this is not what i would have wanted. he KNOWS that newt is almost universally the most loved character in this franchise. you can tell because he constantly uses him as a way to get fans in his good graces again. so why on earth would he take that character that so many people love and write a novella where its torture porn and a descent into madness before death? i am not interested in that At All. i’ve read fics (and even written a drabble) where newt is a Crank, and those were more respectful and easier to read than tcp. the parts where newt is having bouts of the Flare were literally exhausting to read; it was described in such vivid and torturous detail that it made me sick reading it. and it didnt help that newt is a character i care a lot about. i didn’t need to know what becoming a Crank felt like. the way it was described in the other books (and even the movies) told me everything i needed to know. the way thomas and everyone found newt at the crank palace in tdc and hes described as obviously not well, but not knowing what exactly happened to him...thats good enough on its own. the mystery of what exactly newt had to endure is part of what gives his journey more emotional depth. not everything needs to be written out and explained. not every gap needs to be filled in. 

3. me saying “the characterization felt off” is going to make some people roll their eyes because ‘duh, sami, the characterization will be off because he’s going insane’ to which i say...exactly. we weren’t really reading a newt-POV novella, were we? even if he isn’t past the Gone in the beginning, hes clearly not the same person we knew him as. the whole novella felt like an uncanny valley situation; i knew i was supposed to be reading about newt, but it felt like i was reading about someone else who looked like him. and that is part of what made this such a disconnect and made me lose interest at parts. not only that, but the world building and lore is inconsistent. newt makes a comment about how it used to rain in the glade, and apparently (as ive been told) that is simply not true. keisha having somehow working cell phone that magically connects her to her family also doesnt make sense. how would they have each others’ numbers? what are the odds that they BOTH found working cell phones in an apocalypse? i get that its a novella but you cant just throw something that crazy in there as a plot convenience. actually work on your plot and world building in a cohesive way, please. and another thing that doesnt make sense...

4. ...is newt finding out that sonya is his sister. if there was anything i would have wanted from a newt-pov novella, it would have been this. him finding out that not only is sonya his sister, but he already knows her post-WCKD. something that would have made this novella actually captivating, contributing something worthwhile to the canon that i would actually want to read, is if newt found out while in the crank palace that sonya was his sister; the Flare would remove that part of the Slice in his brain, and he would realize it was her. then, knowing that he couldnt go past the Gone before seeing her, he would try to find a way to get back to her. he could learn this after thomas and everyone originally see him, so it could match up with the canon. and then, by the time 250 comes along, hes lost all hope of that actually happening, and lashes out to thomas in a fit of rage. the journey of him trying to find his ACTUAL sister would have meant more to me than the story of keisha and dante. trust me, i love a found family trope as much as the next girl. but this series is FULL of the found family trope. it pretty much is the backbone of the franchise. so to see a blood family dynamic would have been a refreshing change of pace that i actually would have been interested in reading. also, the way that newt DOES find out about sonya is...underwhelming. he just randomly says “you remind me of my sister, sonya” to keisha in the WCKD truck. first of all, sonya is not the name you would actually know her by. you would know her by her birth name (which is lizzy? elizabeth?). second, why does he act like he didnt already meet her in the series? when the WCKD doctor tells him sonya is his sister and is alive, hes so surprised. wouldn’t he have known that already? why is there not more emphasis on the fact he already met her? that would have been a really interesting dynamic to explore, and im sad they didnt

5. the pacing and dialogue of tcp is so dragged out. i remember specifically there was a section where newt goes to talk to keisha after she starts abandoning dante, and i swear to god there was a page and a half of text before anything ACTUALLY happened or anyone ACTUALLY said anything. dashner described a launcher at one point as “the energy dependent electric firing projectile device.” that’s SIX words to describe a stun gun. a fucking stun gun! we know what it is! why did you have to use six words??? it just felt like everything was dragged and stretched to the longest it could possibly be and it added to the exhaustion i felt while reading it

6. okay i cant end it without talking about newtmas. its very obvious by now that newtmas is a VERY large part of this fanbase. its clearly the most popular ship and what keeps a lot of people interested in this series. even the marketing team for the MOVIES used newtmas as a advertising tactic (i.e.; using thomas and newt standing face to face as a thumbnail for the trailer, emphasizing newtmas based questions in interviews, even making a fucking facebook memories video for them. yes that last one is real). not only does dashner use newt as a way to lure fans in; he also uses newtmas. the parts that were sprinkled into this were so obvious that it didnt feel authentic. i cant speak for the original trilogy; i dont know the culture around ships back then, and i dont know how much it influenced his writing at the time. but the scenes in those books felt more genuine than tcp. by genuine i mean; he wrote scenes without a relationship in mind, but the chemistry had noticeable subtext that, while unintentional, was largely agreed upon by the larger audience. the parts of newtmas he added into tcp felt artificial and forced, likely as a way for people to take snippets of and use as a free marketing tool for him. one example you might have already seen; “he had already gotten used to his post-thomas, post-WCKD life.” the fact that dashner SPECIFICALLY used the phrase “post-thomas” rather than “post-his friends” or something similar shows that he is using newtmas as a hook on purpose. not only that, but to make newt’s last thoughts as he died “tommy. tommy will understand...” is...wow. first of all, i never wanted to know what newt’s dying thoughts were, but thanks, i guess? and second, when we all initially thought newt died underneath thomas with a gun to his head, i was pretty much inferred that newts last thoughts would probably be about thomas; they would sort of have to be, given the circumstances. so adding that in gives me the same feeling that “i’m coming for you, newt” at the end of the fever code gave me. not as offensive, but written very much on purpose. and the ending is implying that there will somehow be a sequel where thomas gets newt’s journal from...someone. at this point, i can only think that this sequel will retroactively make newtmas canon somehow. now that newt has been confirmed as gay, it could happen. which brings me to my last point...

7. hearing dashner confirm newt is gay was already mind-boggling before. now that i’ve read the crank palace...im angry. im very angry. i think its safe to say that newt is the character that suffers the most in this series. you can argue with me but hes definitely high on the list, if not #1. so; you take this character. you give him a horribly sad arc in the original trilogy, then decide to expand upon it and tell us, your largely QUEER fanbase, exactly how painful and torturous his last days were, in detail. and then you tell us he’s gay. something that is never mentioned in the canon, only in an offhanded reply to a tweet of someone calling you out. on a base level, i can understand why people would be happy. representation (i guess), seeing themselves in the character, having their headcanons be confirmed. great. but what i see is you telling your largely queer fanbase “hey, you see the only confirmed gay character? im going to literally write torture porn about him before killing him off and offer it to you like im providing a service to your community.” how fucked up is that? “hey, kids, if youre gay, you WILL be violently tortured and become violent and a danger to the ones you love. then you will die and your love will never be reciprocated.” what a message! and if he DOES end up retroactively making newtmas “canon” in some weird sequel...i will start foaming at the mouth. THIS is an example of how not all queer representation is good or genuine.

i’ve definitely forgotten some points but this is long enough already. let me know if you agree or if theres anything else you want to add! im interested in what you guys think

(8. I JUST REMEMBERED!!! if WCKD needed to study newt so bad bc sonya is his sister and is immune while he isnt, why did they let him run around the crank palace in the first place??? you cant test his vitals or anything you’re literally just watching him. what is the point????)

[ronsenburg]

i saw this post and IMMEDIATELY started writing an essay, so I moved it here so as not to clutter up someone else’s post...........

it absolutely blows my mind that, today in 2021, i honestly can’t remember what’s canon from the turnabout serenade case, what i read in a fanficition, and what is my own personal HC. like, it’s been more than a decade since i played the case for the first time and it’s probably been 5ish years since the last time i played AJ (definitely forgot to play it again before writing youngblood which is.... contributing to this) so i really don’t know if what goes on in my head is accurate, but, over the years, i’ve come up with a Lot of Thoughts, which i’ll discuss below. 

tldr; it’s all about power (the desire for, the subversion of, the need to maintain), but if you’d like the specifics, here you go:

daryan: i think the explanation that he did it for “the money” is a line. please don’t mistake me, daryan is an asshole and a murderer, im not discounting that, but in court ive always thought that he was playing the part that everyone- especially klavier- is expecting of him. he’s the bad guy. might as well make it a finale for the books.

i’ve always seen daryan and klavier as opposite sides of the same coin when it comes to family and career aspirations. where i imagine klavier came from a well off and well loved family before his parents died, i see daryan from a working class, difficult upbringing. i read a few papers on the psychology of children/parenting style of police officers and decided early on that daryan’s dad was also a cop. his mother is either dead or (more likely) left them early on. dad coped by working a little too hard, gambling/drinking a little too much, and was overall not around a lot and kind of an authoritarian/controller when he was. it left daryan with a lot of anger he had to cope with, about what it means to be a cop, the idea of a “just cause” and the ends justifying the means, and an issue with authority (which is laughable, considering what a bully he turned out to be. sometimes we emulate our parents unintentionally; it’s the only thing we have to model our behavior on). so daryan started off at a disadvantage. klavier started off loved and supported and surrounded by expensive belongings, but the death of his parents and the subsequent emotional and financial abuse by his newly appointed guardian/brother left him in a similar place by the time he and daryan met. i think it was probably the foundation for their bond, and i think it’s why klavier decided to become a prosecutor instead of following in his brother’s footsteps and why daryan ultimately decided to enter law enforcement as well. i think they had a lot of optimistic, idealistic thoughts on being better than the people that hurt them, on utilizing the law to make the world a better place. i don’t think klavier ever conceived that kristoph could have wanted him in the prosecutors office as another pawn to play, and i don’t think he realized how fluid daryan’s morality could be.

shipping alert—you guys know me, im crazy for the idea of a “best friends to on again off again lovers to tenuous coworkers to bitterly disappointed in but still harboring feelings for the other person despite being on opposite sides” dynamic between daryan and klavier. i honestly can’t separate the ship from the case and im sorry about it. if you read youngblood you know that i think daryan started to resent klavier pretty early on, when they were still together, when the band was still successful, because klavier was able to move forward and work through the issues of his past while daryan was seemingly stuck. yes, daryan had made detective and the gavinners were a hit, he’d risen above his initial social standing and thrown off the control his father, he had money and fame and a future. but everything he had was because of klavier. daryan needed klavier, emotionally, morally, financially. but even when klavier was professing his love for daryan, both privately and in the form of chart topping songs, he didn’t need daryan. it was obvious (and of course, healthy, but how do children of abuse learn what a healthy relationship looks like without help? especially when the only relationships you’ve ever had are codependent and, in some ways, just as toxic?) and so things spiraled. daryan got possessive and angry again and klavier got distant and they broke up and got back together and broke up and didn’t get back together but kept ending up back in each other’s arms for comfort and for support and because how the hell do you move on when the person you’ve been in love with since you were 15 is sitting next to you on a tour bus and is also your partner in a homicide case and singing songs he wrote about you on stage in front of thousands of screaming fans?

okay, shipping glasses off, sorry. but no matter how you look at their relationship, daryan’s promotion out of homicide was probably the most distance they’d had from each other in years, as it removed a large chunk of the daily “working relationship” aspect. and without klavier there to act as a moral compass, it was likely easier to slip back into his earlier thoughts about what constitutes justice and his intense hatred of being pushed around by someone who has more power than you. so enter the chief justice with a son who is sick, dying even, but can’t get the medicine he needs because there’s a government out there telling them no. The reasons are arbitrary: the medicine could be used as a poison and can’t be found anywhere else so it might come back to bite the country in the ass if it’s misused by criminals. newsflash: pretty much all medicine is poisonous if it isn’t used correctly, should we stop using penicillin entirely because some people might be allergic to it? they’ve essentially condemned a whole bunch of people to death because they’re worried about their reputation. and that doesn’t sit well with daryan, who is caught up remembering the bullshit justifications his dad would spout when he knocked him around, that kristoph would give when withholding every single penny of money klavier was entitled to until he agreed to do what kristoph wanted. it isn’t right, it isn’t fair and unfair laws shouldn’t have to be upheld, especially when they’re the unfair laws of a country you most definitely did not swear to uphold and protect. it was never about money, though daryan agrees to take it when the chief offers it to him, more for his comfort level than for daryan’s need or desire. it’s about justice and putting a bully in it’s place with a (seemingly) victimless crime that should be so easy given his role in the international division of criminal affairs and klavier’s sudden hard on for the country of borginia. seriously, how could this have been any more straightforward? daryan is capable of murder, though. all cops are. and if it came down to a “them or me” shootout, of course he’d pull the trigger. 

machi: when you come from nothing, the desire to have something of your own is overwhelming. the idea that machi is famous and financially set is disingenuous; he is not individually famous, he is Lamiroir’s “blind” pianist. yes, she views him as a son and seems to care deeply for him, but his main purpose in her life is to perpetuate a lie. machi has been abandoned before; what will happen to him if lamiroir suddenly remembers who she was in the past? what if she has a family and a true son of her own and has no use for him? what if their secret is found out and the public rejects him for his role in it? he is 14. what does he know about being provided for? about contracts and trust funds and royalties? he ended up in an orphanage originally because he was unwanted, and that led to a life of poverty and hardship. abandonment issues are rooted in fear and are rarely logical. i find it far easier to believe that machi did it for the money, but more for the power money might have given him towards independence in an unfeeling and capitalist world.

kristoph: i won’t get into this, because this is supposed to be about daryan and machi and the guitar’s serenade, and kristoph is not really involved in that at all. but i think everything that kristoph has ever done in the game, good or bad, is rooted in a pathological need to constantly be in control. i think that kristoph and klavier both have very intense personalities that they have sought to control over the course of their lives for the sake of their careers. kristoph believes that to be a good lawyer, you need to play your cards close to your chest, that to show your hand is to expose a weakness that the enemy can exploit, that to show no weaknesses at all places you in a position of power. klavier believes that to show his true self, to display his weaknesses and fears to the public, would result only in their rejection. as such, they both wear masks of their own creation even under the most intense of pressures: kristoph as pleasant and calm, klavier as magnetic and dynamic. note the primary difference in their rational? klavier wants to be wanted, while kristoph wants power. and power corrupts, after all. once you have it, what could be more overwhelming than the idea that you might lose it all? it can drive even the most rational people to commit acts of passionate irrationality in the name of holding on to that power. and kristoph has so many pieces involved in his strategy to maintain.  

[cupidssrosses]

i. love. ship. playlists.

so, i know for a FACT that im not the only one that uses songs to picture scenarios with a pairing i really love. like, sometimes im so set on the idea of a ship that i have to rewrite the entire show in my brain, rework it so that they end up together logically. songs are always so good to visualise too. harringrove is the BEST for this, because the show itself uses scenes set to 80s music all the time. 

anywho, this is a really longwided way of saying hey heres my harringrove playlist enjoy :)

this song has always been made for a scene where tension has to slowly build.

so, instead of the scene with billy and neil happening at the end of the season when theres much more world-end-y  things to deal with, it happens earlier. 

the  scene happens, billy goes to find max and ends up finding steve and the kids in that junkyard. 

“am i dreaming or is that you harrington”

(really rushed) “yeah its me dont cream your pants what the FUCK are you doing here hargrove you have to leave right now”

billy won’t shut the fuck up so steve has to cover his mouth and try to push him into the bus. then we hear a demidog, steve gives up on billy and gets ready to fight, quietly hands billy a broken pole or something just in case. 

the song starts from 0:00 right when billy sees the demidog, the camera pans in on his face, just so confused and scared, processing what hes seeing. then he joins the fight, he and steve back to back protecting the kids. this leads to billy being part of the gang, at least in some respects. hes strong as fuck and now they have to fill him in on the circumstances now so hes around more often to help. he wants to protect max, but also be near/protect steve. 

so ! during subsequent fights/situations, billy and steve get a little closer, damn they’re not in love but hey they’re getting more comfortable and theres deeeefinitely some mutal attraction, the energy from those shower and basketball scenes hasn’t gone away. if steves the mother figure billys the dad. 

on the “i need a hero” (BAM) part that leads into the chorus, billy saves steve with some kind of big action you know? RIGHT on the beat i swear i get chills every time i picture it to this song. like he pushes something off of him or pull him out of the way really suddenly after running reaaaallly fast to get to him. right after it cuts to steve looking all suprised and impressed while billy keeps fighting. 

same applies to the part that goes “watched out here i COME” in the second song, except its steve saving billy. 

since two thousand and fucking 17 ive seen this song as billys image of steve. it always sounded like his thoughts about him. 

this is one of the first moments billy realises he might really REALLY like steve. hes not just horny he might actually love this moron. at around 2:07 when all the instrumental goes away and its mainly the drums, thats when it happens. 

hes picking steve up from somewhere. theyve been spending more time together as buddies. he apologised for being a dick, theyve had some more serious conversations. hes taking him to hang out with the kids, maybe he just needed a ride home from school or work. anyway, its golden hour. hes waiting to see him and hes weirdly nervous, more than he ever was waiting to pick up a date with one of the hawkins girls.

and then he sees steve walk out onto the street, or come around the corner.

his heart STOPS. steve just looks so beautiful. the light hitting his hair. he smiles at someone he knows as the walk by. billys just HIT with hoe much he loves this stupid moron and his stupid fucking smile.

steves looking around for the car and looks so. happy. when he sees billy, billy smiles back. its been a while since hes smiled that genuinely. 

billy really really part of gang now. this might be sometime after the final events of season 2 i think?? billys saved them all, had a lot of experiences, hes built up some trust with the group and it feels normal that hes there. hes part of the family, and thats what this songs about. 

it night time, theyre at steves house, all the kids, nancy, jonathen, etc. some are swimming, everyones dancing, things feel a little more okay. 

at around 1:54, (again im a sucker for stripping away most of the instrumental and relying on a few key sounds, including loud drums) billy looks around. he has for one of the first times in a while this sense of FAMILY and ACCEPTANCE and SAFETY.

theres all these shots of everyone having fun, like 2 or 3 cuts, then to steve. just standing there laughing, hairs all wet from the pool, towel around his shoulders. he looks over, catches billys eye, gives him a smile, it feels like he knows what hes thinking, and he feels the same way. 

same night, during the part build up that starts at around 2:53, everyones trying to get billy to dance, hes been smoking on one of the pool chairs, not antisocial just not dancing. not his thing. plus he doesnt want to look like an idiot infront of steve. anyway. 

one of the kids starts it, starts gesturing for him to get up, pointedly singing the lyrics, the rest join in unti theyre all singing and chanting for him to join, all while the song builds and builds. finally steve joins in. maintains eye contact. thats enough for billy. he just keeps his eyes on steve as he stands up. its more like theyre dancing together, less like the kids are there. right at the end of that bridge he just lets go. takes of his jacket and dances around with everyone. he doesnt look stupid either. he looks good. and steve notices 

this is a small one, i dont even have a story to it. all i know is that comparisons between the scene that accompanies this song in top gun and the basket ball scene in st2 have been made, and itd be a super fun, corny scene :)

starts at the very begining. this song has ALWAYS felt so magical and me. i get chills every god damn time i hear the intro. i want their first kiss to be to the intro. 

its after the last fight of season three. someone else was flayed, someone we dont love. obviously billy survives. in FACT, he was along for the ride with robin and steve, all the shenanigens with the russians, billy was tied up and drugged too. BOTH he and robin admit their sexualities. 

billy still sacrafices himself to save the kids from the monster, he says something cute like “see ya round pretty boy” or some corny shit like that before he goes to run and save el, theres a moment when steve knows what hes about to do, theyre staring at eachother and theeeerse the electricity steve knows so much about. theyre really about to kiss, staring at eachothers mouths, but the monster makes a noise and billy knows its now or never, so he runs off. 

steve tries to save him but gets nocked out. he goes unconcious thinking billys going to or is already dead. 

it cuts to the end scene when theyre all in the car park. steves got an icepack to his face, hes obviously been sobbing. 

but he heres a voice. 

(clearly overjoyed and kind of smug) “am i dreaming or is that you harrington”

he looks up. its billy. we get a nice long run-jump-hug. steves in billys arms before he can even finish his sentence:

(nearly crying but SO excited) “yeah its me dont cream your pa-”

NOW. OKAY SO. i love love love they idea of billy steve and robin going home with murray, or at least showing up at his place. maybe billy cant stand the thought of going home, hell maybe neil was the one that got flayed and died idk. anyway.

nancy and jonathen are like, we know a place if people dont want to go home, and they go murrays place. when they show up at the door murray KNOWS. hes like “ffs two more people who have repressed feelings for eachother what am i a therapist. but he lets them in and they have a similar conversation that murray had with nancy and jonathen/joyce and hopper. poking fun at how much they like eachother etc. 

billy and steve have a really intimate talk. not sexaul intimate, just really open. theyre both so tiered, steve thought billy was dead, billy had to say goodbye to steve, who he KNOWS hes in love with by now, thinking he was about to die. they both KNOW how the feel about eachother now, but they havent said it explicitly. just lots of “i really thought id lost you”, “your my best friend”, “i cant believe youd do that for me” etc etc. 

they decide to go to bed, billy walks steve to his room, the one nancy stayed in when she and jonathen got together, theyre standing at the door. just staring at eachother like they were during that fight sequence. the energies back. billy really thinks he might go for it, but decides he doesnt want to ruin things if steve doesnt really feel the same way. he doesnt even know if he likes guys yet. so he just says “night steve” (steve, get it, not harrington, cause theyre close now and he loves him and those defensive barriers are down ahhhh). 

just as he turns to leave, steve does this:

this exact thing. he grabs billys arm, leans down and kisses him. he thought he lost his chance once, he nearly died like a million times in the past 48 hours. he cant stop himself. 

RIGHT HERE is when the intro to jump kicks in. FUck that synth, the rumbling note that runs through the whole thing. time. stops. its perfect. billys wanted this for so long, so has steve but in the grand tradition of fanfiction he didnt know it until he nearly lost billy for good. 

their arms are all over eachother, just as the rest of the instruments come in, at like 0:15, they both smile into the kiss and shut the door behind them, and it cuts away :). 

theyre finally together!!! theyre in the happy, honeymoon stage of realtionship. god theyre just fucking every. chance. they. get. i think this is a new season. it’s a montage of them hooking up all over hawkins. 

in the back of the video store, robin covering for them. in the car, outside school, steves house. someone walks in and billy has to hang out of the window. he makes a noise and steves like “thats probably just a bird or something” and billy MAKES A BIRD NOISE TO THE BEST OF HIS ABILITY. 

when steve helps him back inside he just stares a him with that “youre a moron but your my moron now” face. “~mimics the sound billy made~ really?” and then billy just laughs and goes back to hooking up with him. 

theyre just HAPPY. theyre comfortble, theyre stupid idiots whod die for eachother and horny as fuck allllll the time, like young guys are. i just want a really lighthearted, NOT INNOCENT, but lighthearted tone to a whole montage of them just being happy and stupid together. 

aaaaand we’re bassically at the end of the storyline i have for them based on music. these three i just like the thought of. i want steve do dance super shamelessly in his bedroom in a towel, not in a sexy way dont get me wrong he looks DUmb, and billys at his door window just admiring this stupid idiot dancing around. i cant believe im in love with this man this graceless lanky man i had to choose this one. but ill be damned if i wouldnt give my fucken life for him

and finally trust me go listen to any scorpions song its bassicaly a harrington anthem. it all started with rock you like a hurricain for me, i saw steve look at him, i saw billy and listened to the lyrics and just thought theres no god damned way this man is straight whats the bet hes into steve and then BAM same season hes just so obviously flirting with him constantly i-

anyway okay so

this song, like many other scorpion songs is allll about billy and steve in my opion. go have fun. 

PlayerEntity made this gif not me all credit to them i just wanted to include it cause its my favorite edit of them ever. 

and thats all!!! if youre seeing this and you thought it was cool thanks i had fun. i really just wanted to get this shit out of my brain its been up there since i was a fuckn 14 year old, now im 18 lol. 

i love these men more than myself and sometimes i forget that theyre not acutally together in show cause i live so completely through fanfiction and the sequence of events you just read. 

fuck why am i signing out like you just watched a youtube video or something i should just post this okay by now xxxxx

[megashadowdragon]

on lukes moment of weakness and how it is fitting for luke  among other comments

Personally I TOTALLY believe that George's Luke would have been VERY similarly to Rian's Luke.

And here is the reason why.... Luke has almost always been George's insert (lucas pronunced luke S )  and it makes total sense for Luke to be "exiled" and secluded away just as George became with Star Wars after the backlash of the prequels. But at the end of it, he comes back and stands up for what makes Star Wars what it is. Which is what Luke does for the Jedi and themes of Star Wars by the end of TLJ. He has learned from his mistakes, atoned for them, found redemption, confronted those he has failed, inspired hope, and learned to show compassion once again.

Now while George may have done it differently, I do believe that Luke being in exile was a metaphor for George's own relationship with Star Wars and its fandom.

www . reddit . com/r/StarWars/comments/ebb4f3/lukes_momentaneous_thought_of_killing_ben_solo/

I know I'm stepping on dangerous territory here by talking about The Last Jedi, and I only do this because I think this is an interesting take on a key moment of the movie. Just bear in mind that I do not intend to make my point-of-view the absolute truth of it. After all, this is just my opinion.

We all know very well how divisive Episode VIII was, with many people pationately hating that movie. One of the main reasons of complaint is the fact Luke Skywalker had attempted to kill his apprentice and nephew, Ben Solo, because he sensed the Dark Side to be too strong in the latter. Luke Skywalker, the only person in the entire galaxy that saw there was still light in Darth Vader, tried to kill his relative. When even Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda had lost all hope Anakin could be saved, Luke helped putting him on the path of redemption, helping Vader turn back to the Light and fulfill the prophecy of the Chosen One. It seems to be an insult that this same character gave up on his nephew so easily and tried to kill him.

I believe things must be analyzed more carefully.

I've just finished marathoning the Skywalker Saga (by the way, I STRONGLY recommend the Ersnt Rister order: IV-V-I-II-III-VI) and noticed something very interesting while watching Return Of The Jedi.

During the final moments of Luke and Vader's duel aboard the Death Star II, we see the young Jedi Knight wants to avoid fighting his father so as not to fall in the trecharous web of Palpatine, who wants to turn the young Skywalker to the Dark Side. Luke is hiding beneath the Emperor's throne. Vader chases him and, through the Force, reads Luke's thoughts to lure him into confrontation:

You cannot hide forever, Luke. Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for... sister! So, you have a twin sister!

In this moment, we see Luke's face and he's completely terrified by the idea Darth Vader found out about his sister. It is something new and Luke fears for Leia's well-being. Also, we hear from Vader's words that he cares a lot about his friends, the people he loves. Vader continues:

Your feelings have now betrayed her too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Dark Side, THEN PERHAPS SHE WILL!

Now we have something different. Since he was brought before the Emperor, Luke had been constatly confronted by Palpatine and Vader with the idea of him turning to the Dark Side. When Vader talks about the possibility of that happening to Leia, it's not a threat directed to him, but to someone he loves. In this moment, Luke loses it completly and attacks Vader viciously, totally enraged. The Sith Lord can't stand the power of his son, fuelled by hate and falls to the ground, defeated. In this moment Luke is prepared to make the final blow, but then he hears Palpatine laughing and clapping. This makes him go back to his senses and realize what he's been doing. He then turns off his lightsaber and refuses to kill his father.

"I'm a Jedi, like my father before me" and so on... we know what happens, so let's fast-forward to The Last Jedi.

When Luke is confronted by Rey, who demands him to tell what had happened between him and Kylo Ren, we learn how things unfolded through Luke's perspective:

I saw darkness. I sensed it building in him. I'd seen it in moments during his training. But then I looked inside, and it was beyond what I ever imagined.

In this moment of the flashback we see Luke's hand reaching out to his lightsaber, almost unconsciously. He then proceeds:

. He would bring destruction and pain and death, AND THE END OF EVERYTHING I LOVE BECAUSE OF WHAT HE WILL BECOME, AND FOR THE BRIEFEST MOMENT OF PURE INSTINCT, I THOUGHT I COULD STOP IT.

Here it is again. Like in Episode VI, we see Luke reacting in a similar way by the notion of something posing a threat not to him, but to the people he loves and cares about. Luke feared Ben would destroy everything he cherished, just like Vader had threatened by turning Leia to the dark. And, just like in the OT, it was a passing shadow:

It passed like a fleeting shadow, and I was left with shame and with consequence. And the last thing I saw were the eyes of a frightened boy whose Master had failed him.

I've already written way more than I expected, so I'll just conclude here. I've realized the act Luke commits in the Sequels is the same (or at least VERY similar) as from the OT: he attempted to kill Vader then his nephew, out of fear of seeing what/who he loved destroyed. He repented and managed to stop himself in the act in both situations. And he was ashamed. So, at least regarding this point of the movie, I see the same Luke Skywalker.

(luke had more to lose now then he did before 

another example which I saw dont remember where I saw it  but I saved the comments unfortunately I didnt put in the links:

edit: (now I remember www . reddit . com/r/StarWars/comments/9a3hdl/)

Luke considered killing Ben for about two seconds in a vulnerable moment

Sort of like he almost got baited into killing Vader by a few mocking words, and cut the hand off his own father in blind rage.

Luke is still just a person. If we've learned anything in Star Wars it's that the Jedi are not superhuman paragons of virtue and perfection, no matter how they might appear to the unwashed masses in the SW universe. They have the same flaws, temptations, failures, etc as anyone else. Yes the Force can help them overcome some of this, but they're far from perfect. Luke could have, and I agree should have grown in a positive way, but it's not impossible or even unbelievable that he didn't. He just had his life's labor wiped out in front of him and blamed himself for it. All those years of finding lost Jedi knowledge and artifacts, being what he believed to be the last Jedi in the universe with the responsibility to restart the order on his shoulders alone. All those lives that he took under his protection and guidance as the Master of the new order, wiped out in one night. Because of him (at least in his mind). Everything he was working towards for years just totally undone in a few hours and it was all his fault.

So he leaves and says fuck the whole lot of it. He lives by himself, stews in his misery and regret, retreats into himself and rejects the most foundational principle of the whole concept of being a Jedi: to help people. He's the most powerful Force user alive and he's wasting away by himself on some desolate rock, swearing off the rest of the galaxy because he thinks that he's a failure, that he wasn't strong or good enough, that he can't win, that it's not even worth it to try anymore, and that even at the height of his wisdom and power, it was all undone, and by himself no less.

another comment

Stuff has changed, I mean he’s quicker to come to his senses. I wouldn’t call that his flaw though. His flaw is one of his greatest traits, his care for his friends and family. It’s a flaw cause it causes implusive actions, lashing out on Vader, leaving Yoda, a single thought that he could stop a horrible fate in Ben.

I personal struggle with a temptation in my life, a temptation to do something my faith says is wrong to do. I may have overcome it some days, but other days, whether the same circumstances or not, I might fall into it. Temptations are a constant battle, not a one and done thing. Flaws are similar, you don’t just grow past a flaw after one instance.

Because a day may come when you will brought face-to-face with that temptation or flaw again, but the circumstances will be different, and it won’t be so easy to overcome.

You mentioned Toy Story in a post, and that’s a decent example when it comes to one facet. Woody might not get jealous when another flashy toy comes along that gets more attention like Buzz did.

A better example of the nagging of a temptation, like Luke dealt with, is in Lord of the Rings. The Ring is a constant temptation to the bearer and those around them. At least by the film, Frodo may have resisted the urge to use it under the tree, but he still was tempted to use it at other times, and it was a constant battle. Same with Bilbo. Bilbo held the ring for 60 years. And the temptation of it held him greatly. He drops the Ring in Bag End, letting it go. If he was viewed similarly to how people viewed Luke tossing the saber, that’d mean he freed himself from it’s grasp and from the temptation to take and use it. We see in Rivendell that isn’t the case for him. He has a moment of wanting to take it back, and even at the end of his time in Middle Earth, he inquires about it, although more innocently curious.

That would be more similar to Luke’s case. To fall to the dark is a constant temptation that Jedi should always be aware of, and if you get close at one point, there’s the possibility that it’ll happen again, and if you aren’t prepared or it comes in a different form, you’ll either fall or get really close.

That turned out longer than I meant it, but I see this idea and..it’s just not the case.

another comment 

Just because you get older doesn't mean you necessarily get wiser and better.

Jedi are still people (and some aliens, but you get the meaning), and the prequels (and even the OT) showed that even the oldest and wisest among the Jedi were capable of mistakes and misjudgments.

I think it's unreasonable to assume Luke should have become incapable of making, or even repeating mistakes and succumbing to emotion.

Right because people only get better as they get older and we grow past our flaws and doubts permanently right?

You guys are weird.

Luke overcame that moment of doubt before he almost struck Vader down and you think what ....... Luke got some kind of videogame like powerup where that character flaw would never come back again?

Some of you have a very black and white (boring) opinion on life and human growth.

Spoiler: People have flaws, we don't all overcome those flaws.Your boy Luke is no exception.

Consider what nearly proved to be his downfall in Return of the Jedi: for all the Emperor's taunting about the Rebel Alliance's imminent demise, it was Darth Vader who finally pushed his Berserk Button by discovering that Leia was his twin sister and suggesting that if Luke didn't change sides, he and his master might have better luck turning her. Then, when Luke went berserk, it totally worked: he curb-stomped Darth Vader and still didn't go evil in the end. His father's killing off the Emperor also put an end to a whole lot of the Empire's evil and birthed the New Republic.

Flash forward thirty years, and once again someone is threatening everyone and everything Luke loves, and killing the guy would surely preempt a whole lot of trouble. In his heart of hearts, he doubtless remembers what Yoda taught him about how easy and seductive the Dark Side is, but he also remembers how Yoda's mistake of hiding the truth about his lineage from him nearly brought his downfall. He also remembers how killing the Emperor solved so many problems the way he'd better not try to solve them this time... Well, what's so tempting about that?

Luke had more to lose at this time. He knew what a relatively free, peaceful Galaxy looked like, and had other students to care for besides Ben. Instinctively, he was acting out of concern for them. Luke makes an important point when he gives Rey the truth: it is a split second. Luke is a hero, but he's human. He was impulsive and acted on instinct in his youth, so the fear of Ben turning is enough to push him to the edge for a second.

hopeforben . tumblr . com/post/623000635980333056/theres-a-significant-portion-of-the-fandom-that/embed

@emeraldspiral​ 

@daughter-of-water​

@someoneintheshadow456​

[lunawings]

King of Prism SSS episode 7 commentary (Leo)

So this episode is the opener for what I know as the theatrical “Part 3″ ... and boy what an opener.... By the time it was over I was like “T-That was only the first one... BUT IVE ALREADY FELT SO MANY THINGS..” 

Having this as the first episode of the three has been pretty difficult because it’s just such a rollercoaster. I’ve actually been hesitant to see go Part 3 more just because I know I have to get through this episode right off the bat. And not because I think it’s a bad episode OH NO ITS JUST... SO MANY... FEELINGS.......... 

I got to go to the midnight showing for Part 3, and I honestly think that has an unfairly high influence on how I feel about the episodes. Part 1 and Part 3 I saw at the midnight showing and I loved them. Part 2 and Part 4 I saw at 8 am when I was exhausted and miserable and I ended up thinking Part 2 was weaker than the others, and Part 4....................... uhhuhh we’ll get to that later, anyway--

So when I translated the original story about Over the Rainbow crossdressing for Miss Kakyoin, I honestly did it just for that two second reference in episode 3. I had no idea this was also going to happen. So when the first second of Part 3 opened on the theater screen with this I was like OH. MY. GAWD. YES. YESSSSSSSSSSSS. I’m gonna cry already. (Little did I know what was coming up later in this episode....)

Also this was the point where I began to realize some of these episode are taking place in the past/out of order. Because SSS starts off in the summer, but the Kakyoin Fest usually takes place in May. So either this is a Rainbow Live retcon, or this episode is taking place in May. (But I suppose there’s no particular big reason that can’t be possible. Well one small one maybe...) 

So this is Rinne’s first appearance in SSS, right? (Outside of her silhouette in the OP.)

So... I don’t really think it’s a spoiler to tell you she will appear again, under.... vErY DiFfeRent CircumStanCes........ 

And I just wonder if like, when we get to that moment, someone who is watching only SSS who has never seen Rainbow Live or Pride the Hero is gonna be like “Oh that’s the girl from the beauty contest.... wait..... WAIT WHAT IS HAPPENING.... “ 

Oh lord. 

Anyway. 

This scene is a whole lot of fun in cheering because we all have our green out and are cheering to Freedom, then it... stops.... then it starts again ahahah.... 

I love Taiga in the background here. It’s clearly intentional. 

I wonder if he actually believes what Kazuki says here or not. But you know what. I don’t think it matters because I think this scene has about zero influence on how he reacts next. I mean, if Taiga actually realizes Kazuki’s just doing this to save face, well then.... hell yeah he’d want to help defend Kazuki-senpai’s honor! And if he believes him and thinks crossdressing and winning a beauty contest is an honor for Edel Rose.... hell yeah he’d want to follow in Kazuki-senpai’s footsteps ahah ha.......... yeah see it literally doesn’t matter........... For Kazuki-senpai!!!

Yeah see this is definitely post-episode 3 Taiga. He definitely changed in that episode after becoming honest about his feelings for Kazuki. So this is the only stupid little thing that makes me question when this episode is taking place since the Nebuta Festival is in August ahahah ha.... (Well maybe he realized long ago.)

Wait woah woah what’s going on here with the subtitle. I thought I saw someone else’s screenshot of this and it was an upside down “A”? Is it just my computer? Is it really like this?

BTW I actually never had any idea what they were saying here before, neither did I pick up that it was probably a reference to μ's because in the theater you just cannot see anything on that newspaper because it’s on screen for like half a second.

If I had, maybe I would have realized that..... 

......Both Kakeru and Shin’s outfits seem to be a reference to the original Love Live! I had a little subconscious inkling in the back of my mind that I knew where Kakeru’s outfit was from and it probably wasn’t Pretty Series. But Shin..... Shin..... for the longest time I kept trying to think what coord this was. Because it does look like it could easily be a PriPara coord, doesn’t it? But after other folks started pointing it out, yeah it does look like they were trying to rip on the “Bokura wa Ima no Naka de” outfits goddamn it hahaha.... Well, it makes sense because there are people who worked on both Love Live! and Rainbow Live. 

But yeah I swear if they had only made the skirt plaid I would have gotten it. The plaid skirts are such a big point of that outfit for me. 

But still anyway, if anybody can think of a Pretty Series coord which is similar to this (or can make one on the 3DS).... um.... hit me up................ now..........

OH COME ON MINATO you can do so much better than this.... For Miss Schwartz you actually found a look that worked for you.... 

I mean sure he looks like someone’s mom but isn’t he. 

The moment when I was like “Welp, maybe Taiga’s straight after all.” Such a mystery, this kid. 

MINATO AND YU OMG

This moment goes by so fast I literally missed it my first two showings but OMG it’s my favorite joke in this episode and one of my favorite visual jokes overall I crack up uncontrollably every single time. Ahhhhhh you poor boys....  

Welp someone hasn’t watched PriPara but I think we already knew that from Kakeru’s “Glowstick Cage”. Still, I really think you’d be able to figure out this is clearly a catch phrase but WHATEVS

I think my reaction echoes most of the community’s reaction as being “are they gonna say the thing--THEY SAID THE THING” 

As much as I want to feel bad that Leo feels like he has to do this, it’s just too funny. And not to mention adorable. 

How “masculine” Leo somehow ends up being EVEN CUTER than natural Leo, I will never be able to explain but OH LORD HE IS. (I guess just, the more he tries to fight it the stronger it is....)

He’s not lying. 

................ no..... noooooo.......... *buries face in hands*

So. Okay. Okayokay. Sorry we gotta pause here oh boy. 

Ever since the Pride the Hero era, Tsurugi was always my favorite member of The Shuffle. Especially since I realized that even though we could see him failing the training machine in the first movie, he still made the group. It was my headcanon that it was because Kokoro, Mondo, and Mitsuba helped him rise up and overcome his challenges until he finally made it. I saw him as the Otoha of the group. A sweet lovely boy who somehow got mixed up in all the corruption of Schwartz Rose AND SOMEHOW he survived. 

And then this happened. 

His feminine personality. It was all an act. IT WAS A LIE. Just created to add the right appeal to The Shuffle. AND I FELL FOR IT. 

...............

I guess Joji isn’t the only liar in Schwartz Rose. I guess, Schwartz Rose just naturally attracts that kind of people huh. 

Well, from this moment on Tsurugi was not my favorite anymore. 

For the record, my favorite member of The Shuffle nowadays is Ace. And probably subconsciously has been since episode 5? But I actually didn’t come to realize that for.... a few more episodes...... So we’ll talk about it then.

Right now we have to talk about.... wait... wait no no no no no no no

You ever have one of those moments when time just kinda stops and everything just kinda... spins around you........... that was this moment for me at the midnight showing....................

Sorry I have to interrupt again to mention this. They revealed here Leo’s dad supposedly designed all these characters.

Well OK, but the thing is in this universe supposedly PairChams and stuff are actually real. 

So how can they be designed by Leo’s dad?

Welp, my theory on this is Leo’s dad either was a prism star, or just has a lot of prism sparkle in him, and he secretly just draws exactly what he sees. 

I think the phrasing is a little weird here. It’s more like Leo didn’t even particularly realize he was a boy. (Or what his gender was at all.)

(Yes they are wearing mini-Fortune Party CRs.)

(Yes this is also our Young of Prism reference.)

.......I really like this episode but...... this part is just so hard for me..... it’s just...... a bit too real............. but I applaud them for it the same time but.... it’s just.... it’s hard.............

People take out yellow and cheer for Otoha here, but at first I was just so distraught after the proceeding scenes it took me until maybe my 4th or 5th cheering show to actually join them.... just trying to get the energy and to come out of it and like oh it’s Otoha.... oh where are my concert lights.... oh where is yellow..... oh it’s over...... ................. (ahh it’s just.... so sad........)

Okay so now that we’ve gotten this far, I can finish my train of thought about the order that the boys joined Edel Rose.

I think it’s safe to assume Yukinojo was probably first. His episode revealed that he liked prism shows since he was really little, so he probably entered his first year of junior high? I think Kakeru was already in junior high when he found out about prism shows so he probably transferred in anywhere from 2012 - 2014.

Yu and Minato I think probably joined at the same time in April 2015. Because when we meet them in the first movie they are both 1st years (in junior high and senior high respectively) and we know from Minato’s episode he was never in the junior high division. 

Then Leo joined sometime not too long after that, and finally Shin.

Taiga is the only mystery, because his flashback only features Kazuki and there is nothing to particularly date it. In my head I’m gonna throw him in there after Kakeru but before Minato/Yu though. 

......Anyway.

Leo’s reactions as he meets each of the boys, and vice versa, are just... SO INTERESTING to me and reveal so much about him and the other characters. So I’m sorry but. We’re basically gonna take this frame-by-frame....

Oh gosh oh no oh to think that because of his experiences in life, Leo is just so conditioned to the point where this is the first thing he says directly to any of his new friends I just I.... *chair squeak* excuse me I need a moment.

*walks out of the room*

*comes back after several minutes*

Oho gosh okay okay sorry where were we

AND HIS FACE when he realizes Kakeru called him cute and clearly meant it as a compliment I just I *chair squeak* I may need another minute we’re like ten seconds into this scene and it’s already just--

OHHHH MANNNNNN

I’m pretty sure Leo’s extreme reaction here isn’t because he’s upset at not being called cute. It’s because, once again, Leo is just so conditioned because of everything he’s been through. He took one look at Taiga and probably saw him as the exact archetype of a person who usually bullies him. 

But he was wrong. 

Taiga, the actual purehearted softie that he is, had absolutely no idea his words would have such an effect on Leo. And once he realizes, he PANICS, and says absolutely anything he has to in order to fix it as fast as possible.

TAIGA

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH 

I’d also like to note what makes this scene even funnier is that Taiga is using a Tohoku slang word for “cute”. (This is a younger Taiga who hasn’t quite lost his northern dialect yet. Also sort of a northerners bonding moment for the two of them maybe?) 

So Taiga being attracted to Leo is a thing I guess. But.... but does it really count as being gay with Leo, like I mean.....?

Well.... Taiga being asexual is probably ruled out at least.

Anyway.

Out of all of them, Leo’s encounter Minato might just be my favorite.

First, Minato reaches out his hand intending to shake Leo’s. 

But Leo, probably being just.... so desperate for human contact at his point, sees this and actually reaches up and grabs Minato’s hand with both his hands instead. 

If you remember, Leo being too touchy-feely with other boys was one of the reasons he was bullied. Probably moments exactly like this.

But Minato....

He doesn’t flinch. His expression never changes. Instead he’s just like, oh you remind me of my sister. Like it’s the most normal thing in the world. 

And he probably thinks that’s kinda nice that it will be like having his beloved sister around. 

shfsfshl;dsaSDJGSOGSAG+J

Yu doesn’t care who Leo is as long as he thinks he’s cool. 

Sounds about right. 

Gonna say the obvious here but YUKINOJO WHAT ARE YOU DOING 

How he just immediately powers down and goes into kabuki practice mode when nothing has been happening for 30 seconds..... 

I have things to say about this encounter too but we’ll get to it later. 

My favorite comedic line in the episode. 

Yukinojo is somewhat oblivious about gender norms himself eheh. 

I love the juxtaposition of this line with this scene. It’s not a coincidence surely. 

Leo kind of just made a fool of himself here, but the other boys had almost no reaction. They were all just kinda like “huh”, and instead of “this Leo kid is a weirdo” it’s “Yukinojo what did you do” hahahah. That, is acceptance. That is Leo finally finding a place where he can belong.......... Until.....

Oh boy I’m sorry we gotta go on another tangent here. A dark one. 

Throughout SSS it’s pretty clear that Shin’s arrival had a big impact on everyone, but it probably had the biggest impact on Leo.

Edel Rose was the first place in his adolescence where he was able to find acceptance. 

And I think it’s safe to say, that without Shin to bring everyone together, Edel Rose probably would not have survived.

And if that happened.....

Leo would have nowhere to go. 

I really shudder to think about what might have happened.

And I don’t think it’s a huge exaggeration to think that Shin joining Edel Rose... may have actually saved Leo’s life. 

So when you really stand by and take all of this into perspective. 

All of a sudden how attached Leo is to Shin. His over-protectiveness, his jealousy. It.... it starts to make a lot more sense. 

So from this moment on I decided I won’t fault him for it anymore. I can understand.

Oh gosh okay I know it’s hard to come out of that with this, but....

Y.. yay Christmas Party! This is going to come up again in SSS, but since people are going to be talking about it now I’ll talk about it now. 

The Christmas Party is an event which happened in detail on the Prism Rush Main Story and was the first time the boys all performed together as a group and debuted Dramatic Love. 

And yes, at the same time it is also an analog to the real live Music Ready Sparking concert, which was the first time the voice actors all performed  together in real life. Those are the outfits they wore in the real concert, and the same pose they used for promotional materials.

They actually re-drew it for the anime in the performance outfits instead of the concert T-shirts. 

(The outfits aren’t a secret anymore, and no need to sell T-shirts ahah....) 

WHAT. THEY FIXED IT. Okay I SWEAR in the theatrical version of this there is a continuity error here where Leo has his pigtails in this back shot, but his hair is down from the front. I paused here to take a screenshot so I could mention it then I was like wait whaaaaaaaaa. This is the only time I have noticed a blatant change between the theatrical version and the TV version. (Other than the new endings.) It makes me wonder if there’s anything else I missed. 

PFFT. 

I guess “yes” isn’t the worst translation, and who am I to talk since I don’t translate “IIZE” at all. But it drains the flavor out of it whenever I try. 

If you’re not aware, “IIZE” was the scoring system in the boys’ PriPara from Idol Time, DanPri. The joke is that it’s like a masculine version of “iine” which was the scoring system in the regular girls PriPara, and still is in PriChan. Probably the most literal translation of “iine” is “likes” since that’s what they call the like button on Facebook/Twitter. But yeah it’s a bit of a journey to understand this I suppose.

Iize = burly likes 

? ? ?

He’s just.... he’s just so weird........... Tsurugi why...............

(Yes, Mirei hair and Bunny Magician coord from Prism Tours. Sorry I’m skipping over pointing out some of the PriPara references on purpose since this post is just so long as is.)

PFFFFFFT okay okay. Okay. OKAY. Okay. 

I know this is probably just in here for a throwaway joke but OHHHH lord.

We saw Alec compete in a beauty contest on Prism Rush before in the Street Beauty No. 1 event, but not on purpose as Louis basically tricked him that time. To think he’d come this close to doing it on purpose, and in his Mom’s clothes?...... ohhhhhhhh wow

If this really almost happened, then I guess Alexander’s riding the same train as post-episode 3 Taiga nowadays isn’t he ahah. 

And finally we get to the prism show. But oh gosh, I have to say I do not like his initial outfit. First of all it’s supposed to be a boys’ outfit but it’s.... not.... I guess they were trying to go for a Peter Pan thing or something, but it just registers strongly in my head that Peter Pan is usually played by a woman and like. I just wish they would have made this outfit a bit more masculine to highlight the change that’s gonna happen. The least they could do is take off the earrings. 

Not to mention form-fitting stuff does not work for Leo. It highlights how small and child-like his body is, and they even do a butt shot and just NO no please no why. STOP. Okay, my only criticism against this episode is that. Had to say it. 

When you need a character to clarify this you’re doing it wrong. 

But anyway, moving on. 

This. 

When we got to this moment, I just.... I felt.... such a great vicarious weight lifted off my shoulders. It just felt so good to finally, finally see this. It’s been a long time coming. 

Okay, let’s go back. Way back. 

During the first movie, when we first met Leo. In the bath scene he introduced himself using “boku” (a male pronoun). He was presented as wanting to be more boyish, and Yukinojo’s little protege. And I said OK, and I accepted this for face value. For a while. 

But then about a year passed, and this CD came out. 

And I went woah. This was the first point when I began to realize things might not be quite as they seemed. Leo is just straight out wearing girls’ clothing here. As oblivious as he is, nobody can be quite that oblivious. 

So the whole theme of their duo song is mutual respect, and it clearly introduced for the first time the irony of Yukinojo and Leo’s relationship in that although Leo looks up to Yukinojo, in truth Yukinojo wishes he could be more like Leo because Leo is the feminine ideal he’s striving for as a kabuki actor who does female rolls. 

Well okay, but the thing is. 

Leo supposedly wants to be more masculine, but... but....

When he first meets Yukinojo, that’s not the reason he attaches himself to him. 

Leo picks the most feminine member of the group to model his ideal after. Not someone rough like Taiga, or built like Minato. He picks Yukinojo. Yukinojo. 

And that’s when you start to realize.... Nothing Leo has said has ever matched up with what his actual actions are. 

Sure, he talks a lot.... but....

What has he actually done to try and become more masculine since King of Prism started? 

Even when he purposely sets out to dress masculine in stories on Prism Rush (like in his initial PR story for one), he always ends up picking out feminine clothes somehow. 

Although he once introduced himself using “boku” to Shin, it’s pretty much exclusively become “watashi” over time hasn’t it?

His Pride the Hero subplot was enjoying his (arguably) feminine hobby of clothing design. No masculine quest subplot there. 

And we even got to the point where SSS opened with him wearing a frilly pink shirt in one episode and pigtails in the next. 

The more time Leo spends at Edel Rose, a place where he is accepted, the more he slowly opens up and starts acting like himself again. 

So if you’re thinking this came from nowhere, you haven’t been paying attention. 

Still, I was really worrying about what was really going on inside him a lot before this episode came up. And then. Finally. FINALLY. 

This episode should be seen by not just King of Prism fans. Not just Pretty Series fans. This episode should be seen by everyone. 

GAHHHH I’M JUST.... SO HAPPY.............. 

I LOVE YOU TOO

I think just looking at these screenshots and taking it all in is making me tear up more than in the theater. 

Okay so. When I saw Leo’s coord for the first time, my immediate thought was Laala’s first PR....

If you think maybe something else is a better fit though let me know. 

So I actually think this score for Leo is fair. He only did two non-connecting jumps, and as this episode revealed he is the least experienced member of Edel Rose. (...Like I said before Shin... Shin is a special case........) I really like how their shows are actually accurate to what their skill level would reasonably be. 

But it also just makes Minato’s higher score more of a mystery. 

I love, love how this contest has progressed from year to year. Rinne -> Kazuki -> Leo -> ??? 

It may take us until we get to the next generation to get another winner, but someday I hope we see one.... 

YES this is obviously PriPara ahah but in canon it might be “Prism Land”? Ahah.

Okay, the end! 

The post is over!

The end!

Why are you looking at me like that?

It’s over!

Thanks for reading!

.............

.....................

Okay. Since you’ve somehow stuck with me THIS FAR, I’m going to talk a little more about how this episode effected me personally and why it’s important to me. 

The depiction of bullying was just so frighteningly accurate, and I feel like other people who have been through something similar would probably agree.

5th grade really is the year. 

It’s right around that time when gender rolls really seem to solidify. All of a sudden lines are drawn. The girls become more girlish and the boys become more boyish. 

It was around that time that I also noticed, that I didn’t like the same things that other girls my age liked. Other people noticed too. 

My gender issues weren’t as profound as Leo’s, but I just wasn’t interested in things like clothes or boys yet. I still wanted to watch cartoons and play in the dirt and stuff.

Going into middle school, I also tried to pretend. But it didn’t work. 

And I didn’t have any friends for a long time. 

But then something happened to change that. I got more involved in music. Specifically marching band. Music and performing brought me together with a rag-tag group of people from different grades who didn’t know my past, all working together to put together a performance. That sort of activity (music, sports, etc.) builds bonds between people that surpass normal friendship. And eventually, through those sort of bonds, I found myself around people who accepted me even though I was a bit different. Gradually, I learned it was okay to be myself. 

So just watching Leo make friends though prism shows.... just oh my god.... that’s me. 

I kinda joked about Leo being my self insert character in King of Prism before, but man. Watching this episode. It just got so... SO much more real.

*deep breath* 

*exhale*

Wow. Okay.  

[ask-shakespearehigh]

Q&A post with the Mods!!!!

This is going to be a long one oh boy

How strict is the delineation of creative control vis-a-vis characters/plays between the mods? (@pedanticlecturer)

We generally have the plays split up along lines of “what we know”— we have a list at the very beginning of the blog. Sometimes we’ll draw the others’ characters (mostly me drawing some of Star’s…) but even then the final say on characterization is up to the “main” mod for that play — mod aster

what aster said -- mod star

What is your favorite play? What is your favorite character in terms of how they were written in the source material? (@pedanticlecturer)

I think my favorite play overall is Macbeth, just because I like the vibes (and the fact that I too could kill Macbeth), the fact that you don’t say it’s name in theatres, and the fact that it’s a play I did a full read through and analysis of in class. Favorite character? Puck from Midsummer. — mod aster

uhhhh,, hmm. ive always had a soft spot for midsummer since i saw it with aster esp bc of how fun the costumes were. of the comedies it has the largest potential to be the most visually pleasing bc of the concept of fairies,,,and im gay and dramatic so i love that. id die if i got to costume design for midsummer,,,or be in it,,,yeah. fav character. hmm. probably mercutio?? i recently saw a version of romeo and juliet where mercutio was played by a woman and oh my god it was amazing!!! not to mention mercutio’s portrayal in baz luhrmann's INCREDIBLE version of r n j!!! (I based my mercutio design on him) he just spends the entire time making dick jokes. love that. -- mod star

How do you answer asks so fast? I mean it's great but I'm impressed 😂 (Anon)

Personally, it’s a mix of: notifications on, quick drawing speed, and using the blog to avoid my class work — mod aster

aster is fast and (as you can see from all of my answers) im lazey -- mod star

Are there any elements/characters of the plays you're covering that you would have liked to work into this blog's plot, but couldn't due to the constraints of the setting or the synthetic nature of the blog? (@pedanticlecturer)

I wanted to make everyone gay but unfortunately due to plot constraints we have to have some hets but that wont stop me from making it lgbt as possible. -- mod star

I did want to make The Tempest more of a central play, but it just didn’t translate well. Similarly, other supernatural elements like the witches in Macbeth. This isn’t so much a constraint mentioned, but my own time/energy means that I want to show the Macbeth backstory, in a specific format, but I can’t right now— mod aster

Is there a hierarchy of import when it comes to each play's individualized impact on shakespeare high's general arc? If so, what plays are crucial to the foundation of the story? Which ones did you do mostly for shits and giggles? (@pedanticlecturer)

This is phrased like an ACT question and i might not answer it right so sorry in advance but: mod aster and i only selected a few plays for each of us to do given we dont know all of shakespeare’s works, but we tend to put more emphasis on the the more well known. But it also comes down to 1. How much we have plotted out for each play and 2. What the followers ask about most. Our two most popular are hamlet and macbeth bc people are familiar w those but around march caesar always becomes relevant again. I didnt even have designs for some of the characters until someone asked about them. -- mod star

I would say the same as star— it generally comes down to what people ask about. I will say that the overall plot is sort of separated into “has happened” and “is happening”. Like, the human potion of Midsummer, Julius Caesar, and Macbeth are all in the “aftermath” portion, while Twelfth Night, Hamlet, and Romeo and Juliet, among others, are happening. We’re trying to incorporate as much as we can, and I don’t think any of them were really put in without some thought.— mod aster

What personal significance does shakespeare hold in ur guys' lives? (@pedanticlecturer)

I go to a theater school rn and so ive dealt w shakespeare (although not all of them) it also helps that i was in loves labours lost last year as moth and that i read hamlet and r n j. Theres also a theater in my state that always does One Big Shakespeare per season and they always do them super well!!! My love for shakespeare probably started w seeing midsummer at that theater w mod aster!!! So. Theater kid rights!! -- mod star

To be honest, I got back into Shakespeare Because of the blog. I’ve been friends with some people that got really Pretentious about Shakespeare, and it kinda put me off of it. I did have a book of abridged plays (the plays’ plots written out in prose, basically) that I read as a kid, which is what got me into not only the plots of a lot of the plays, but also the idea of having them illustrated. And, same as star, the theater in state does the One Big Shakespeare— and they tend to do some really cool things with the costumes, setting them in diff time periods. I haven’t been able to see any lately since I’ve moved, but they still slap. — mod aster

🥰😘💙🥰🥰💜💟🥰I 😍💗💚😍😍LOVE🖤🖤 YALL ♥️♥️🧡💛💚💝❣️💕💘💖💗💓💞💝❤️💛💜 okay now i have a question i swear— how long have the two of you been doing art??? and what were your first shakespeare plays??? (@hellaghosts)

Uhh i started drawing when i was like idk 12 and i have the giant boxes of sketchbooks to prove it!!! I moved to digital art at abt 14-15 but mostly stayed traditional until this yr when i got a Neat New Tablet so some of my sketchbooks are sitting abandoned rip. My first shakespeare was either romeo and juliet or midsummer nights dream and i love both of them v much!!! I have a very old piece of art that i did for r n j for my freshman class assignment on it and it hasnt aged well alsdjfjafd circa 2016 i think??? -- mod star

Oh man. I started drawing when I was about 10, but it was Bad. I don’t think I got much into drawing again until I was about 14? Sometime around the end of middle school/beginning of high school. I would say I started getting into drawing as more than doodling/coloring edits sometime around 2015-16? I would draw on my iPad with my finger, then I got a tablet for my computer, and now I pretty much stick to my iPad with an Apple Pencil. My first Shakespeare play was….. uh…… probably Midsummer???? I have No idea. We would go to plays when I was little, so I honestly don’t remember if I saw others before. It may have been Romeo and Juliet— I had that book where it was the original and the “modernized” with the little dog that explained things— which, if you know it makes sense, but if you don’t is probably a bonkers answer. — mod aster

Do you think this blog has like? An overarching thesis (be it b/c intentionally or simply b/c ur own take on the world has bled thru to the point where u believe it’s central to the piece at this point)? (@pedanticlecturer)

Not gonna lie, I had to read that like three times AND dm you to figure out what you were asking from us and all I have is “be gay, respect women, write your own happy endings”. — mod aster

This blog started with an ides of march shitpost and you think we have enough brain energy to write a whole thesis? I projected feelings of found family onto my half of the blog but idk if that counts. Be gay do crime 420 69 -- mod star

What’s the nature/rough dynamic of ur relationship? How do y’all know each other? (@pedanticlecturer)

Met mod aster when i was like 4 and even tho we didnt live close we became like, best friends although the Best part didnt start until we were like 13-ish and eventually we talked like non stop (about anime and homestuck. Yknow. 13 year old kid things) and we didnt see each other a lot bc of Distance and now its even worse bc aster is in colleg.,e but we consider each other siblings regardless of family bc we’re adopted into our own respective families so that bled over into our friendship and it would feel weird calling him anything other than my brother now. We’ve seen each other at our best and worst and if you really want a good insight on what we’re like as siblings watch griffin and justin mcelroy’s overview video of catlateral damage wherein i am griffin and he is the long suffering justin. -- mod star

Star is basically my long distance sibling and functionally the only cousin I recognize bc like their parents are basically an aunt and uncle and like our dads look enough alike that we’ve both accidentally gotten the wrong dad for a hug or similar so like. Anyways yeah Star is the Griffin to my Justin, complete with our absent middle brother who we love dearly— mod aster

Dubiously relevant q but what kind of music do y’all listen to when u do art (if that is indeed a habit either of u partake in) (@pedanticlecturer)

It can depend on the piece? I was working on some (unrelated) oc prints that were song-focused, and for those I just listened to said song on loop. Sometimes I have playlists. Sometimes I’ll just be in a Mood and throw a song on loop. But a lot of time for the blog, I’ll listen to The Adventure Zone for the billionth time, because I have Too Much Attention. I’ve also, on request from Star, linked the most recent “loop song”.— mod aster

I tend to obsess over the same like 3 songs every few weeks so those get listened to on repeat but it also depends on the tone of what im drawing or who im drawing i might genre switch bc of that. If im drawing ophelia i stick to lana del rey and if im drawing hamlet its the neighborhood, horatio is sufjan stevens etc. i have categorized,. Most of the characters i draw into different songs/genres/energies of music but not like i ever follow that. Sometimes i just pull up a really long nonsense video and forget to draw. Essentially: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -- mod star

How’d y’all come up with ur pseudonyms? (@pedanticlecturer)

I love space so much and my main blog is starryeydsailor space gay rights!! Im also tiny and full of energy and bright so basically i;m star -- mod star

Uhhhh i was like “hey i want to do uhhhhhh flower?” And then I google searched flower names until I found one I liked —- mod aster

How did you end up deciding the rough timeline of events in canon? (@pedanticlecturer)

It’s mostly determined by like. How we choose per story? If that makes sense. Like, we just take story by story, and decide “is it happening, has it happened, and when?” And then we fit them together in relation to each other just by dint of. All existing at once. Like, I knew I wanted Macbeth to be in aftermath, because like, even though there’s no murder, the way I’ve translated it to the AU is still kinda heavy, and it’s something that I don’t know that I could do properly if it were happening right now. Also, it’s more interesting IMO to have them at different times. Tl;dr we wing it per story and slot them together— mod aster (mod star agrees I just can word better, in theory)

If you could tell the story of shakespeare high in a different format than an ask blog, would you? Obviously y'all are making very good use of the format, but would you want to write this as a animated series or like? a comic book? or is the form inseparable from the story? (@pedanticlecturer)

I kinda wanted to do a webcomic or maybe to plot develop through like, animatics but the element of surprise comes from the asks we get and really makes us think so the blog is a good start. We didnt think we’d get this far -- mod star

Pretty much what Star said— there are certain elements where it’d be neat to do as a comic or as an animatic. Like, the fantasy dream is like, an anthology webcomic of each story, where you can like, see other characters in the background and stuff. But to be honest, we develop a lot by what we’re asked— there was a post about developing worldbuilding by being asked questions and then pretending you’ve thought about the answer, and it’s not far off. Personally, it’s hard to just lay out a story, because I have a whole WORLD and what’s relevant? What are people interested in? It’s by getting questions that I can then focus in on an area to develop. And yeah, we Super didn’t think we’d get this far lmao — mod aster

Any headcanons about your characters that you don't think will ever come up on the blog through asks or plot posts? (@pedanticlecturer)

I could make a whole separate post for this!!!!! Mostly its voice headcanons (and by mostly i mean like 1 or 2) or relationship hcs!!!! -- mod star

Honestly same. I don’t think I have voice headcanons for mine, though I bet I could find some. I’ve got a bunch of miscellaneous headcanons that just kinda float around, but like they’re scattered, too numerous for this post, and also not always things I’m sure are canon yet.— mod aster

[burningcollectionsandwich]

could john doe be autistic? telltale batman theory

A couple of months ago, I was looking at random batman stuff when I came across “batman: the telltale series” and “batman: the enemy within”, and let me tell you, its probably one of the best games ive seen since undertale and even corpse party (corpse party is and will remain my favourite game though… unless I change my mind). I loved the story and the characters, but one of them stood out to me, and that was John Doe. Now let me be clear, I do not, and I repeat NOT class John Doe as the joker at all (unless you choose the choices in order to make him the joker), no I class John as ‘the joker, if he got rehabilitated’ or just simply as John Doe. And me being the type of person who automatically likes anything that has to do with the joker because I find his personality and the overall character incredibly interesting, when I finished watching all the john scenes (im not even kidding, I spent days watching every scene I can find with John in it), even though he doesn’t act like the joker, I loved his personality. One day when I was watching it, I noticed some key things that stood out in Johns personality, which are kind of similar to………………….and then it clicked in my brain. Could John Doe from the batman telltale series, be autistic? Now I know “John Doe” has traits or all the symptoms of antisocial personality disorder and possibly schizophrenia, but I could not help but find other symptoms to Asperger’s syndrome/autism, though this is only with john doe, not with the original joker (trust me I tried looking but he’s just the definition of antisocial personality disorder and psychopathy). I did some research and watched the batman telltale series repeatedly, and here’s the evidence I collected. Behavioural symptoms: •    Often verbalizes internal thoughts that most would keep private – this isn’t shown quite often in season 1, however in season 2, John does say/shout out his thoughts depending on the situation. For example, (in season 2 episode 3) when he was asking Bruce about dating advice, and Bruce pretended to be Harley, John yelled “why won’t you love me?!” in front of everyone at a café. Another example is (in season 2 episode 1) when John yells at the man who shh’ed him in church by saying “you shh me again, you’ll be mourning the loss of your teeth!”, he did calm down and stated “that outburst, its antisocial I know”. He also yells “at least he went out with a bang right?” when talking to Tiffany about her dead father, At his funeral. Another scene is (in season 2 episode 2) when Bruce starts the car for John after struggling with it for a few minutes and he says “you are literally my hero Bruce. –I mean wow”. another quote is “Bruce is strong and smart, and handsome, I mean, super handsome, its nuts you guys, and-… where was I going with this?”. on the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), when first meeting Alfred, he states “wow. The Alfred. I’ve been taken polaroid photos of Bruce for years and you’re in the background in at least a third of them”. • Appears to lack empathy – this is very clear in both season 1 and season 2, John will attack/kill or steal anything from anyone without feeling empathy towards anyone, apart from Harley and sometimes Bruce, and will laugh when seeing violence himself. Many examples of John not showing empathy to anyone is: laughing at Victor Zsasz when he’s murdering someone (season 1 episode 4), laughing when Bruce defends him from Willy by knocking him out (season 2 episode 2), laughing when Harley threatens one of Bruce’s workers (season 2 episode 2), laughing when Bruce/Batman beats up Bane (season 2 episode 4), laughing when exploding the Gotham bridge with a lot of people still on it (season 2 episode 4). On the villain ending (season 2 episode 5), he has no empathy for the people he and Harley kill with the virus. On the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), he stabs 3 people while injuring tiffany with a joker-rang through the hand, he also throws joker-rangs at a lot of agents, which impale them, he also shows no empathy to bane when he either hits him with his car or drops a smock deck on him. • Has a difficult time interacting with peers – this is mostly shown in season 2. (in season 2 episode 2) When Bruce is inspecting John’s house or ha ha-ciesta and he looks at the beer bottles, John explains that in order to talk to Bane, he has to give him his favourite bottle of beer so Bane doesn’t tear his head off, even stating “he’s scarier than anyone I met in Arkham”. He also says to Bruce that he has a hard time talking to Harley as it is indicated in a previous statement that she loses interest quickly when talking to John, though this could be the fault of Harley, not John. John also despises the riddler because he always interrupted him when he was telling a joke “making him look like an idiot, in front of Harley and the other guys”, riddler even calling john a “white faced prick” (season 2 episode 3), though this can be seen as just a normal rivalry and not a difficult time interacting with people. • Talks excessively, especially about one specific topic – John talks a lot, and I mean a lot in season 1 and 2. He does switch topics in conversation depending on the situation but most of the time, he is either talking a lot about Harley or a lot about Bruce. The Harley topic is clear in nearly every episode of season 2, and Harley even stated to Bruce when John went to get her a slushy “he thinks the world of you” (season 2 episode 2), indicating that he talks about Bruce to the pact a lot. John does talk about Batman to but not as often. He mostly talks about how he’s best friends with Bruce, constantly saying “we’re two threads in the same stitch”. • Frequently has one-sided conversations – John shows this (in season 2 episode 4) when Bruce finds him surrounded by corpses he had murdered, and when Bruce disagrees with John on if he should trust John or not, John will yell “you’re supposed to be on my side!”. He will also say “it’s been hard knowing that you haven’t been straight with me, Bruce”, even though John has his own secrets that he hasn’t shared with Bruce, and Bruce knows this. He also says “You steered me wrong, at every turn” to Bruce when Harley abandons him (season 2 episode 4). On the villain ending (season 2 episode 5), john blames Bruce entirely for making him become the joker after Bruce didn’t believe him about the murdered agents. On the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), john claims “I believed in you, batman. like I never believed in anything, and it was all a lie!”, and when batman wants Waller to leave Gotham, john goes against that idea shouting “this is so very disappointing. You’re a hypocrite! Your letting her off the hook, because of what? Because she has a badge?!”, john also believes that Bruce/batman is becoming or is very similar to Waller near the end of the episode. • Is unable to understand societal norms – this is shown in season 2 on many scenes. The main examples of this are: John talking very loudly and saying inappropriate comments in church (season 2 episode 1), and John believing that girls like men who are desperate (season 2 episode 3). Another scene is when he takes selfies during a funeral (season 2 episode 1). He also does a pinkie swear with Bruce in the middle of a pub, even though he is an adult (season 2 episode 2). John also believes that his green hair is ‘natural’ due to him not remembering his hair colour before it turned green (season 2 episode 3). • Does not understand the concept of personal space – this is not very shown as John keeps his distance when he’s around people, but the times that this has happened is when he randomly hugs Bruce after Bruce chooses to believe him about the murdered agents (season 2 episode 4) or when he takes selfies with someone, he raps his arm around their shoulders and takes a photo (as seen in multiple photos on his wall, he even does it too batman). Sometimes when john is speaking to someone, he would sometimes inch closer to them but that is not much of an issue, until he leans his head forward while he’s talking, which causes the person he talking to, to move back slightly. Other times include: grabbing Bruce’s arm in the church (in season 2 episode 1), grabbing batman by the shoulders after john gave him the laptop and/or teaching john how to throw a batarang (in season 2 episode 3), punching Bruce (multiple times in different episodes), and even carrying batman in the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), when interrogating Waller, he gets really close to her face in order to make her talk, which still doesn’t work. • Flat tone / speaking style that lacks pitch – john’s voice has a bit of a lack of pitch when he’s speaking to anyone, though this could change depending on what mood he’s in. multiple times in the game, it shows that john sometimes mimics another person’s voice, in season 1 episode 4: he puts on a high pitched voice (presumably a woman’s voice) saying “ahh ohh someone save my baby”, he also put on a deep voice (presumably mimicking Harvey dents voice) saying “I’m going to find your drugs”. In season 2: he puts on a deep voice (presumably mimicking batman) saying “just get it john” (episode 2), also in the vigilante ending (episode 5), he puts on a deep voice again (mimicking child Bruce) saying “no Alfred, I am the knight”. John also alters his voice when he’s being sarcastic, for example (in season 2 episode 4) when john is upset with Bruce and says in a weird voice “just manipulate her john/just be yourself john”, or he’s in an awkward moment for example (in season 2 episode 3) if you take too long to take the laptop of john, he pulls a confused face and says “you did want this didn’t you?, I’ll just leave this rrrriiiigggghhhhttttt here” while putting the laptop in batman’s hand, then finishing the sentence with a very high pitched “K”. Physical symptoms: • Unusual body postures, gestures and facial expressions – John has rather bad posture when sitting and/or standing, as his back is always hunched. For facial expressions, the main facial expressions that John portrays is the very wide and toothy smile/grin, a frown, a shocked face, and one that’s I’ve been noticing a lot, the confused/thinking face (the best scene to see this facial expression clearly is when John says to Bruce that he thinks he’s fallen in love, and Bruce asks “are you in love with me?”, John pulls that face soon after the comment (season 2 episode 4)). On the villain ending (season 2 episode 5), whenever he’s been insulted or when he first walks into Wayne enterprises, he always smirks, which hasn’t been seen in the previous chapters before. • may perform repetitive movements, such as hand or finger flapping, or rocking back and forth – mainly during season 2, when John is either happy and excited/grateful, he will always interlock his hands while crouching a little bit. He does clap in season 1 and in season 2 but this only happens when he’s presumably excited (he does this when he first meets Batman (season 1 episode 5), he does this when Harley comes back and says she’s going to be the new management instead of Bane (season 2 episode 3), and he does this again when he is in the elevator going to the secret lab (season 2 episode 4), he also claps his hands when he first meets Alfred in the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5)). Another repetitive movement that John does, mainly while talking, is finger pointing, this can be seen whenever John is talking to anyone, but mainly towards Bruce and sometimes Harley. In the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), john repeated puts his hands/fists/knuckles on his hips, though this could be john thinking that he’s a super hero. • Apparent insensitivity to pain – many examples of this are shown in season 2: John gets shoved by Catwoman and is knocked on the floor, He doesn’t react (season 2 episode 3). John gets a black eye from Harley, we are not sure what his reaction was there but he doesn’t seem fazed by it when Bruce arrives (season 2 episode 4). He gets punched in the face by Bruce and he doesn’t react (season 2 episode 4). He gets slapped in the face by Bruce and he doesn’t really react, though seeming a little surprised (season 2 episode 4). He gets tazor-ed by Tiffany, he does fall to the floor but soon after he just stands back up coughing and laughing (season 2 episode 2). In the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5): he gets picked up by his neck and thrown to the floor by bane and he laughs (while saying “ow, god”), he gets shot in the shoulder by the agency (he does show pain as he crouches on the floor while bleeding, but minutes later, he stands up and laughs), he gets punched, electrocuted and gets his face hit off a railing multiple time and he just laughs, he also gets a batarang through the hand and a couple of minutes after either getting head butted or electrocuted, he just sits there as if it’s not in his hand (which is pinned to the table). On the villain ending (season 2 episode 5): he gets stabbed multiple times and he laughs, he gets kicked and punched repeatedly and he laughs, true he does go into cardiac arrest but when he gets out of it he just lies there giggling and talking to Bruce. • Poor handwriting skills – this is only seen a couple of times, but johns hand writing is the kind of writing that looks messy, but readable. For example, (in season 2 episode 1) when Bruce opened the card john gave to him, john wrote his name into the card, and the writing looks a little bit messy. His writing is also shown (in season 2 episode 5) on the villain ending on the various cards, the side of a van and on the tombstones, still messy but readable. Cognitive symptoms: • Lack of social skills – though this may be caused by an unknown amount of time locked in Arkham asylum, John has a notorious lack of social skills, though in this case he does talk to a lot of people, he just doesn’t know how. The main examples are all the things he says when he’s in the church (season 2 episode 1), and when he tries to convince Harley that he is the only man to do the job, which lead to him getting a time out by Harley (season 2 episode 3). • May have one or a few very select interests that one is extremely knowledgeable about – even though being a rather smart character, John knows a lot of information about different things, but the main things he is extremely knowledgeable about is the Vikki Vale’s drugs, Bruce (even detecting that he’s Batman) saying “you forget, I know you. The real you. Always hiding behind some kind of mask. Playboy, business man, criminal….bat. you can’t fool a friend, someone who really takes the time to look” (season 2 episode 4), and Harley, stating “let me talk to her, I know her better than anyone” (season 2 episode 4). • may engage in violent outbursts, self-injurious behaviours, tantrums or meltdowns – this is very clear in season 1 and 2. For violent outbursts: John beats up 2 guys knocking them out (season 1 episode 4), he cuts Zsasz’s face with a knife (season 1 episode 4), he hits Bane/Mr Freeze with a batarang/gun/sharp pole (season 2 episode 4), he hits an officer over the head with a crowbar (season 2 episode 3), he tries to punch Bruce when he disagrees with him (season 2 episode 4), he murdered a bunch of cops/agents (season 2 episode 4), he explodes the bridge (season 2 episode 4). On the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), john snaps and ends up stabbed three agents to death. For self-injurious: if in an angry mood, John will repeatedly hit his head off any hard surface (the church chair (season 2 episode 1) or the elevator wall (season 2 episode 2)). For tantrums or meltdowns: the bridge scene and the fun house scene can be seen as a meltdown but more of an outburst of violence, he lashes out at a man in church after Bruce rejects his offer (stating his has a hard time dealing with rejection (season 2 episode 2)), etc. • Inappropriate laughing or giggling – this is shown a lot in season 1 and season 2. When John is talking (apart from some situations), he will automatically start laughing or giggling, but he has stated (in season 2 episode 4) that he laughs when he’s nervous, though we are not sure if this is a lie or not. All throughout the villain ending (season 2 episode 5), he is constantly laughing. On the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), he also randomly laughs or giggles when he’s talking to someone or himself. • No real fears of danger – this is shown in season 1 and mostly in season 2. In season 1: he cuts Zsasz’s face even though he knows he has outbursts of violence (episode 4), John is unfazed when there is a riot going on in front of him in Arkham asylum while workers and patients are getting killed all around him (episode 5). He randomly drinks a drink when he’s threatened by a cop with a gun pointed at him (episode 5). In season 2: he starts laughing when he’s threatened by Willy with a knife pointed at him (episode 2), he doesn’t seem fazed when Tiffany points a tazor gun at him or when he gets shot with the tazor gun for that matter (episode 2), he runs into the lower floor of Riddler’s hide out (out of curiosity) even while knowing the place is a death trap (episode 3), he jumps onto a roof ledge just to stand with Batman (episode 3), he stands there smiling when the secret lab was about to insinuate them (episode 4), he looks around the corner when a machine gun was firing at them (episode 4), he hits Bane/Mr Freeze (possibly the strongest people out of the pact) with a gun/pole/batarang when Bane/Mr Freeze tries to kill Bruce (episode 4), he blows up the bridge even though he is still on it (episode 4), he leans and falls off the ledge of the bridge backwards (episode 4). On the villain ending (episode 5), john is unfazed by Bruce/batman threatening him, or when he fights him. On the vigilante ending (episode 5), john (and batman) fight bane who was the strongest in the pact. • may “day dream” or “zone out” when overstimulated – the best example to show of this symptom is on the villain ending (season 2 episode 5), when john asks batman what he thinks Harley would do if she found out about him giving the map to Jim Gordon, whatever batman answers with, john turns around and seems to zone out asking “what do you think that means, Dr Leland?” and answers with “uhh it makes me feel uncomfortable when you put it that way Dr Leland”. Psychosocial Symptoms: • Social isolation – he was in Arkham asylum for an unknown period of time (Dr Leland stated “John has been with us for quite some time”) (season 1 episode 4) • Lowered self-confidence – during the interrogation scene (in season 2 episode 3), John says that he did try to stick up for Bruce (“internally”) but said “I’m sorry, I’m not as strong as you” • Difficulties with social interactions – as stated before, John struggles to start a conversation with the likes of Bane and Harley (though this could be the fault of Bane and Harley) • Depression – after being punched and left by Harley, John enters a stage of depression while drinking an unknown amount of alcohol (from what I can see, I would say that he drank at least six bottles of beer), he also shouts comments like “I don’t want to do this anymore, not for you, not for her, certainly not for Gotham. I don’t care!”, “I’m John Doe, the lonely hearts club”, “you’ve got some real nerve you know that, buddy. Remember at the café (just be yourself John/just manipulate her John), then I stuck my neck out for you, way out! Bane nearly ripped my head off. And for what? Her flew the cope, and I have nothing. You steered me wrong, at every turn” and “I don’t want to find her. My heart can take another kicking. I don’t ever want to see her again, she ruined me, I-I can’t.” (season 2 episode 4) • Moodiness – John does have a lot of mood swings and outbursts of anger as stated in the previous symptoms, this mainly happens when someone rejects him or disagrees with him. • Troubled romantic relationships – in the villain ending (season 2 episode 5), john and Harley’s relationship seems to be a pretty stable one, until Harley finds out that john gave away the map or john stops Harley from killing Bruce, then she proceeds to try and strangle john while saying “I’ll kill you”. John also runs away leaving Harley behind with Bruce (batman) and Selina (cat woman), while Harley says “I’ll kill him” again. • Lowered self-esteem – (in season 2 episode 3), when Bruce asks why john has green hair, john aggressively said “I don’t know what’s with your black hair?” and then states “I’m sorry buddy I’m a little sensitive about my style”. Harley also states (in season 2 episode 4) “keep it with ya brucie, I can’t afford any more mishaps” while looking at john, who looks down with a sad looking face. • Feelings of being “unlike” his or her peers – in the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), john believes that he’s a hero above all else, apart from batman (at times). For example, when Waller says “think whatever you want, you will never be a hero”, john becomes extremely angry and shouts back “How. Dare. You. Your worse than me! That makes me the hero! And this is what hero’s do to Gotham!” The symptoms I don’t think he has is: behavioural symptoms: • Lack of interpersonal relationship skills and instincts • Inability to express one’s own feelings • May not make eye contact or may stare at others • Not pick up on social cues and may lack inborn social skills, such as being able to read others' body language, start or maintain a conversation, and take turns talking • Have a formal style of speaking that is advanced for his or her age. For example, the child may use the word "beckon" instead of "call" or the word "return" instead of "come back." • may be extremely literal or have difficulty understanding the nuances of language, despite having a good vocabulary physical symptoms: • Heightened sensitivity and overstimulation to loud noises, bright lights, unusual textures, or strong tastes • Poor coordination • Clumsiness • Poor fine motor skills • Difficulties using gross motor skills Cognitive symptoms: • Difficulties with changes or upsets in routine • Difficulties picking up on the subtle changes in tone, pitch, and voice that accompany regular conversation • May be unable to understand sarcasm or jokes • Poor organizational skills • difficulty making friends of the same age, children with AS may feel more comfortable with adults or much younger children psychological symptoms: • Difficulty making and keeping friends • Challenges in finding and maintaining steady employment • Anxiety • Tendency toward shyness

Of course I am not a doctor, I can’t diagnose this, but there was a lot of evidence so I decided to check it out, and no I’m not saying that john is autistic just because I’m autistic, that’s just weird and very very low. If anyone finds anymore evidence or any other symptoms, let me know and I will add/edit it. (also, I am not too sure if some of these symptoms are in the correct categories (cognitive, behavioural, etc) if they are, please do not hesitate to tell me and I will correct it). This post is not making fun of autism or any mental disorders, this is just a theory that I created to see if it was correct or not (I would never make fun of any mental disorder) comment down below if you agree or disagree with me my laugh sounds really similar to johns/jokers laugh and I don't know whether to find that amusing or worrying Well that’s it from me bye

[bronzeflower]

Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Chapter 11: Matesprits and Moirails

Also on ao3

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT] --

CG: ROSE.

TT: And who might this be?

CG: THIS IS KARKAT. CG: DAVE GAVE ME YOUR CHUMHANDLE.

TT: And what caused you to contact me on this lovely day.

CG: DAVE TOLD ME THAT YOU WERE FREAKING OUT ABOUT KANAYA’S BIRTHDAY AND NEGLECTED TO CONTACT YOUR’S TRULY FOR ADVICE.

TT: Ah. TT: Believe me, I have everything under control.

CG: ARE YOU SURE? CG: BECAUSE DAVE WAS KIND OF WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

TT: Dave? Worried?

CG: YES.

TT: You know I jest, correct? TT: Dave is always worried, but he hides that worry under shades and a poker face.

CG: DAVE HAS THE WORST POKER FACE I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. CG: HE’S EASIER TO READ THAN JOHN, AND THAT GUY PRACTICALLY WEARS HIS HEART ON HIS SLEEVE.

TT: I think that may be more due to the fact that you spend so much time with him rather than Dave having a horrible poker face.

CG: THAT MAY BE TRUE, BUT WE AREN’T HERE TO BLABBER ON AND GOSSIP ABOUT DAVE THIS ENTIRE TIME. CG: WE’RE HERE BECAUSE DAVE EXPRESSED THAT YOU MIGHT REQUIRE MY EXPERTISE.

TT: And what kind of expertise would that be?

CG: ROSE, YOU’VE KNOWN ME FOR HOW FUCKING LONG? CG: AND YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT MY EXPERTISE IS IN?

TT: I have known you for several weeks, and I still do not know.

CG: ROMANCE, ROSE. ROMANCE. CG: I AM A CERTIFIED EXPERT IN ROMANCE. CG: AND, BASED ON WHAT LITTLE DAVE TOLD ME, YOU NEED HELP GETTING A GIFT FOR KANAYA. CG: IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE TO BE ANYTHING BIG. CG: YOU CAN LITERALLY JUST USE ME AS A SOUNDING BOARD, AND I CAN TELL YOU HOW MUCH KANAYA WOULD LOVE A CERTAIN GIFT.

TT: I… TT: I suppose I could let you offer help.

CG: I GUESS THAT’S THE BEST I’M GOING TO GET OUT OF YOU. CG: WHAT WERE YOU PLANNING TO GET HER?

TT: A handmade scarf with some crochet flowers sewed onto it. TT: In hindsight, it is rather embarrassing to say that out loud. TT: Maybe I should try doing something else.

CG: ROSE. CG: ROSE. CG: I’M GOING TO NEED YOU TO LISTEN TO ME FOR A QUICK MINUTE. CG: JUST, TAKE A MOMENT TO BREATHE. CG: IN, OUT, IN, OUT. CG: FORGET ANY AND ALL WORRIES ABOUT EVERYTHING. CG: NOW, LISTEN TO ME. CG: YOUR IDEA WAS FANTASTIC, AND I CAN’T CONCEIVABLY UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WOULD WANT TO SCRAP SUCH A GREAT IDEA. CG: FUCK THE PART OF YOUR BRAIN SAYING THAT WAS A BAD IDEA. CG: IT’S IDIOTIC AND STUPID, AND YOU SHOULD REFUSE TO LISTEN TO IT.

TT: I don’t believe it is that simple to merely turn off that part of your brain.

CG: WELL, WHY DON’T YOU LET MY WORDS SOOTH YOUR MIND AND SOUL? CG: I, KANAYA’S MOIRAIL, AND THEREFORE THE INDIVIDUAL WHO KNOWS KANAYA THE BEST, AM TELLING YOU RIGHT FUCKING NOW THAT KANAYA WILL LOVE WHATEVER GIFT YOU GIVE HER. CG: SHE WILL ALSO LOVE GETTING A HOMEMADE SCARF. CG: I HAVE NEVER MET A SINGLE PERSON MORE APPRECIATIVE OF HANDMADE THINGS THAN KANAYA. CG: I GUARANTEE SHE WILL LOVE IT WITH ALL HER HEART. CG: HAS THIS HELPED YOU AT ALL?

TT: … TT: You know what? TT: It actually has. TT: I appreciate your help, Karkat.

CG: IT WAS A PLEASURE.

TT: I apologize for asking this, but would you go to the knitting store with me? TT: I want to find the right kind of yarn to use for the scarf.

CG: SURE, I’LL GO WITH YOU. CG: WHERE DO YOU LIVE? I’LL PICK YOU UP.

Once you had successfully secured Rose’s address, you went there to pick up Rose. She got out of her place and into your car.

“Okay, so you’re going to have to tell me where the fuck we are going to go because I have never been to a single knitting store in my lifetime. Fabric stores? Sure! I can navigate anyone to any fabric store in the entire goddamn town. I can also tell them which ones are full of shit and which ones are actually decent. But, knitting stores? That is out of my jurisdiction.”

“Take a right at the next intersection, and then you go straight before taking the first left you see. There will be a parking lot with a bunch of craft stores nearby.” Rose explained.

When you get to the knitting store, you are somehow surprised at the amount of yarn in it.

There are so many kinds of yarn. Thin yarn, thick yarn, colorful yarn, scratchy yarn, soft yarn, yarn in balls, yarn in these weird oblong shapes, gradient yarn. You were pretty glad it wasn’t you who was trying to find a specific material to use to make a scarf or sweater or something because you were pretty sure that you would have absolutely no idea what to do or even where to start.

Instead, Rose wondered around the store, while you stared at various objects. Like yarn. So much yarn. Who even needs this many types of goddamn yarn.

Eventually, you got to the point where you gave up attempting to help Rose find yarn and went to a box of clearance yarn to feel the yarn and squish the yarn balls.

Rose comes up to you with various things of yarn.

“Karkat, I request your assistance. I would like to know what kind of material Kanaya would like the best.”

“I’ll try, but, like I said earlier, I only have any sort of prowess when it comes to fabrics.”

“You can tell me what colors to use for the scarf. I was thinking of using this gradient yarn for the scarf.” She hands you some yarn that is several shades of green. “Do you have any advice for what color to use for the flowers?”

“I would use lavender for the flowers.” You decide. “A lot of trolls wear the color of their quadrantmates as a way of telling everyone who they’re with. Usually, it’s the blood color, but humans only have one blood color. You do type in lavender though, and trolls have the habit of hemotyping, so, at this point, I kind of associate the color with you, and I’m sure that Kanaya does too.”

“Oh.” Rose blushed and chose out some lavender yarn. She also grabbed a few more of the green, gradient yarn. Once she bought all the yarn she wanted to buy, the two of you returned to your car.

You drive Rose back to her house, but, before she goes, she turns to you.

“Thank you, Karkat. For going to the knitting store with me.”

“It wasn’t really any big deal. I mean, I barely did anything.”

“I still appreciate it.”

Rose left, and you just drove back home.

What to do. You guess you could troll Aradia for the first time in years. It would be nice to hear from her again.

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] --

CG: I CAN’T BELIEVE NEITHER OF US BOTHERED TO CONTACT EACH OTHER FOR YEARS. CG: HOW HAVE YOU BEEN DOING? CG: DAVE TELLS ME THAT YOU’VE BEEN DOING ARCHEOLOGY. CG: THAT’S PRETTY COOL. CG: OH YEAH, THIS IS KARKAT BY THE WAY. IN CASE YOU DIDN’T RECOGNIZE MY HANDLE.

AA: hello karkat! AA: its very nice to hear from you again

CG: HOLY SHIT. CG: YOU DON’T PUT ZEROS FOR O’S ANYMORE.

AA: yes it is quite the development AA: you still type in all caps

CG: AND I STILL HAVE NO VOLUME CONTROL. BIG WHOOP.

AA: the amount of swearing you do seems to have lessened as well

CG: I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I AM A MATURE ADULT WHO IS FULLY AWARE THAT ONE DOES NOT NEED TO SWEAR TO LAY DOWN AN INSULT THAT IS GUARANTEED TO BURN AT THE HIGHEST DEGREE POSSIBLE

AA: people still tell you that you swear too much dont they

CG: YEAH. CG: I’M PRETTY MUCH USED TO IT BY THIS POINT THOUGH. CG: ONCE I SAID HELL IN FRONT OF THIS LADY, AND SHE CLUTCHED AT HER CHEST LIKE I WAS LUCIFER HIMSELF. CG: I INFORMED HER THAT I WAS, IN FACT, A DEMON SENT BY SATAN HIMSELF THAT WAS THERE TO BRING CHAOS, DESTRUCTION, AND SIN UPON THE WORLD ONE CURSE WORD AT A TIME.

AA: did you really

CG: NO. CG: IN REALITY, I IGNORED HER AND WENT ON WITH THE REST OF MY LIFE.

AA: that was very mature of you

CG: YEAH, WELL. CG: I’M NOT IN MIDDLE SCHOOL ANYMORE. CG: I’VE LEARNED THAT I SHOULD CHOOSE MY BATTLES VERY CAREFULLY.

AA: that sounds fake but ok

CG: WOW, RUDE. CG: I AM TOTALLY CAPABLE OF FIGURING OUT WHAT BATTLES I SHOULD AND SHOULD NOT FIGHT. CG: FUCK YOU. CG: BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, I AM GETTING BETTER AT IT. CG: BY THE WAY, I ALSO HEARD THAT YOU WERE DATING SOLLUX? CG: HOW’S THAT SHITHEAD TREATING YOU.

AA: speaking that sollux and i have been in a committed relationship for several years AA: really well

CG: HOLY SHIT. CG: SOLLUX COMPLETELY NEGLECTED TO TELL ME ANY OF THIS. CG: WHAT ABOUT YOUR OTHER QUADRANTS?

AA: ive only really filled the one quadrant AA: its difficult to find someone who would be willing to go out with someone who they are unable to contact for months at a time

CG: I GUESS THAT WOULD PUT A DAMPER ON THINGS.

AA: what about you AA: are you still moirails with gamzee

CG: *GOD* NO. CG: WE BROKE UP A LONG ASS TIME AGO. CG: MY MOIRAIL IS KANAYA NOW.

AA: i bet that nepeta was both disappointed and excited at that

CG: I THINK AT SOME POINT SHE RECOGNIZED THAT GAMZEE AND I WEREN’T VERY GOOD FOR EACH OTHER AND UPDATED HER SHIPPING WALL WITH THAT KNOWLEDGE, SO SHE WASN’T NEARLY AS DISAPPOINTED AS SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN HAD WE BROKEN UP WHILE OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS STILL PRETTY HEALTHY. CG: ACTUALLY, NO. CG: IT WASN’T A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP FOR EITHER GAMZEE OR ME, AND I’M GLAD WE WERE BOTH MATURE ENOUGH TO REALIZE THAT.

AA: it sounds like you have a lot of experience dealing with pale romance now AA: what about your other quadrants

CG: EMPTY. CG: NO ONE REALLY WANTS TO DATE SOMEONE WHO VACILLATES LIKE A FUCKING MADMAN TO THE POINT OF IT NOT ACTUALLY BEING VACILLATING ANYMORE. CG: IT JUST BECOMES A WEIRD SORT OF MESS OF FEELINGS THAT CAN’T REALLY BE ORGANIZED INTO THE CATEGORIES OF RED OR BLACK ANYMORE.

AA: i guess we are both in similar boats of not being able to date because of our respective circumstances

CG: YEAH. CG: … CG: YOU SOUND LIKE A VILLAIN.

AA: how so

CG: THE ENTIRE “YOU AND I ARE THE SAME” TROPE THING THAT VILLAINS IN MOVIES AND TELEVISION SHOWS DO A LOT.

AA: i suppose so AA: certainly not the worse thing to be told that i sound like AA: but karkat AA: i have something to ask you AA: youre still a self proclaimed romantic master correct

CG: YOU BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR I AM. CG: WHAT DO YOU NEED? CG: I’LL HELP YOU FREE OF CHARGE.

AA: i sorry to ask you something like this when our first time talking in a long time AA: but not many of the people that i know and talk to have any sort of knowledge about romance AA: particularly pale romance

CG: GO ON.

AA: im pale for someone

CG: NO SHIT, SHERLOCK. CG: I THINK I KNOW WHO IT IS, BUT TELL ME WHO IT IS ANYWAY.

AA: its dave AA: i dont even know if he does quadrants or anything like that AA: but i wanted to ask you if you knew how i could best ask him out

CG: ARADIA, THIS IS MY ADVICE TO YOU. CG: BE AS BLUNT AS POSSIBLE AND DON’T BEAT AROUND THE BUSH. CG: I HAVEN'T KNOWN DAVE FOR LONG, BUT WHAT I KNOW ABOUT HIM IS THAT HE’S AS OBLIVIOUS AS A BRICK FUCKING WALL.

AA: so just go for it

CG: YEAH.

AA: thanks for the advice! AA: sorry to cut this conversation short but if i have to do this while im feeling motivated to

-- apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

You figure you should probably leave both Aradia and Dave alone for a while, so you decide to spend some time reading an old romance novel that you’ve had in your collection for years.

You’ve probably read this book a thousand times, and you practically know the words by heart. It’s your favorite one because of the complex quadrant vacillation included in the story, and the romance was much better done than in most romance novels you’ve read.

It was about the main character, Epiciu Goshum, a blue blood who became flushed for a jade blood despite their moirailship with a purple blood. Meanwhile, they also struggled with their moirailship with another blue blood, a morailship that soon dissolved. With the dissolution of the morailship, Epiciu soon finds themself pale for both a yellow blood and a rust blood, feelings that they struggle with because of their status in society.

Oddly enough, it was one of the few troll romances that focused more on red romance than black romance. While there was some black romance and vacillation, the majority of the story had feelings that showcased the complex dimensions of emotions directed towards a singular individual, which might have been part of why this was your favorite story.

Anyway, in the end, Epiciu ends up with both the jade and purple blood in a polyamorous flushed relationship, which was something that sounded like a bad idea, but the sequels to the book showed that it ended up being perfectly healthy.

As for their pale interests, they ended up only becoming moirails with the yellow blood, but they did become very good friends with the rust blood, and they ended up becoming an activist for blood color equality.

While there were sequels to the book focusing more on the actual relationships the protagonist was in, something you appreciated because of the way most romance novels ended when the protagonist and the love interest got together, the first book had always been your favorite.

You get maybe a quarter way through the book before you find that someone has started trolling you.

At first, you thought it was going to be Aradia messaging you back about how asking out Dave went, but, to your surprise, it ended up being Sollux.

-- twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

TA: KK TA: ii need two a2k you 2omethiing

CG: WHAT IS IT?

TA: ok 2o dont freak out but iim planniing on proposiing to AA

CG: WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, HOLD UP CG: YOU’RE GOING TO FUCKING PROPOSE? CG: HOW LONG HAVE THE TWO OF YOU BEEN DATING?

TA: KK ii told you not to freak out TA: but yeah iim goiing to propose TA: ii’ve programmed a viideo game about fiindiing artiifacts and 2tuff for her TA: and the fiinal level has the fo22iil2 2pelliing out that ii want two marry her

CG: THAT’S ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE, AND I’M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU. CG: HOWEVER, AT THE SAME TIME, I’M PISSED THAT YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU WERE DATING HER SOONER CG: I LITERALLY LEARNED YOU WERE DATING HER TODAY FROM HER CG: AND THE ONLY REASON I TALKED TO HER WAS BECAUSE DAVE OF ALL PEOPLE KNEW HER FROM COLLEGE OR WHATEVER CG: AND I HADN’T TALKED TO HER IN FUCKING YEARS

TA: wow ii’m 2urprii2ed you only u2ed one cur2e word

CG: OKAY, WOW. CG: FUCK YOU.

TA: ii thought you in2ult2 were more creatiive than that, a22hole

CG: MY INSULTS ARE PLENTY CREATIVE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. CG: I JUST DIDN’T FEEL LIKE WASTING MY CREATIVITY ON YOU.

TA: ii’m hurt KK ii really am

CG: SUCK IT UP

TA: anyway ii need 2omeone two te2t my game out who i2n’t me two tell me iif there are any bug2 or whatever that iive overlooked

CG: I’LL NEED TO KNOW TWO THINGS BEFORE I AGREE TO THIS: HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DATING ARADIA, AND HOW LONG WILL THE GAME TAKE TO PLAY?

TA: we’ve been datiing for a few year2 and the game wiill probably take about an hour or two dependiing on how much you take your tiime

CG: ALSO, IS THERE ANY PARTICULAR REASON THAT YOU’RE CHOOSING ME OF ALL PEOPLE TO REVIEW THE GAME?

TA: ii don’t really talk to many other people and you’re the 2uppo2ed “kiing of romance”

CG: ALRIGHT, I’LL PLAY THE GAME. CG: SEND ME THE LINK OR WHATEVER YOU NEED TO SEND ME IN ORDER TO TEST THE GAME.

TA: yeah here you go TA: (link to game) TA: tell me any problem2 you miight have

CG: WILL DO.

TA: thank2

-- twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

You click on the link to the game, trusting that Sollux didn’t just send you a virus and began playing.

It was actually a pretty well-made game with Aradia shown as the sprite, and each time you found a fossil, a message box popped up talking about what a great job you did. All of the messages talked about how much Sollux loved Aradia, and it was honestly sickeningly sweet.

It really only took you an hour to play, and the final ending honestly made you tear up with how open and honest Sollux ended up being in his proposal, and you immediately messaged him the moment you finished the game.

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA] --

CG: SHE’S GOING TO FUCKING LOVE IT. CG: SHIT, FUCK, I’M CRYING. CG: YOU BETTER INVITE ME TO THE WEDDING, ASSHOLE.

TA: 2o no bug2 found?

CG: NO, IT WAS PERFECT, AND I DIDN’T KNOW YOU COULD BE THAT SAPPY AND ROMANTIC.

TA: yeah yeah shut up there2 no need to announce iit two the world

CG: THAT’S LITERALLY WHAT MARRYING SOMEONE IS FOR, BUT OKAY.

TA: iim goiing to do a few more ediits before 2endiing iit two her but iim defiiniitely doiing iit 2oon

CG: I’M JUST SO HAPPY FOR YOU. CG: LIKE HOLY SHIT; I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED!

TA: diid you ju2t u2e a 2emiicolon

CG: I DON’T NEED YOUR JUDGEMENT FOR WHAT KIND OF PUNCTUATION I USE. CG: IT’S NOT MY FAULT THAT YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO USE A SEMICOLON.

TA: ii know how to u2e a 2emiicolon but iim not enough of a nerd to u2e them

CG: YOU LITERALLY DESIGNED A VIDEO GAME TO PROPOSE TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND. CG: YOU ARE JUST AS MUCH OF A NERD AS I AM.

TA: yeah but ii’m a cool nerd

CG: DON’T THINK I WON’T FIGHT YOU!!!

TA: aha good luck wiith that

-- twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

CG: HEY! CG: GET BACK HERE SO I CAN FIGHT YOU!!!

But Sollux was gone. Whatever. You didn’t really care as long of you were invited to the wedding. You would probably actually fight Sollux if he didn’t invite you because that would be a real dick move.

You may or may not be salty about the one time someone didn’t invite you to their wedding. But you wouldn’t name names.

You get back to your book, and you actually get pretty far before being trolled again. This time, it was Aradia.

-- apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

AA: karkat! AA: thanks for your advice!!!

CG: ARE YOU MOIRAILS WITH DAVE NOW?

AA: yeah!!!

CG: I’M SUPER HAPPY FOR YOU!!!

AA: yeah im glad we got that sorted out AA: it took a while to iron out the details and stuff but weve basically established our moirailship AA: but yeah you were right i did have to be very blunt AA: which i should have maybe known since ive known him for longer but you know what they say AA: hindsight is twenty twenty

CG: THAT’S A REALLY WEIRD PHRASE.

AA: it is AA: i wonder where it came from AA: … AA: hindsight means thinking about things after theyve happened and twenty twenty refers to perfect eyesight AA: which in hindsight makes it pretty obvious

CG: A LITTLE BIT, YEAH.

AA: well i should get going! AA: i need to pack for the next trip im going on!

CG: GOOD LUCK! CG: I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME.

AA: i always do! AA: ill be sure to troll you when i can

-- apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

TG: holy shit karkat youll never guess what just happened

CG: I’M GOING TO GUESS THAT YOU BECAME OFFICIAL MOIRAILS WITH ARADIA.

TG: shit howd you know TG: did ara already tell you TG: you already had a sick ass convo with her

CG: I HAVE.

TG: awesome TG: well i was just here to drop the news on your fine ass TG: i mean TG: you know what TG: fuck it TG: you do have a nice ass but forget i said that TG: i was here to give you the official dave strider seal that ara and i are now rails but i guess youve already got a hold of that sweet info so im gonna ollie out of here k TG: got others to bless this information with TG: dont be stranger

CG: I WOULD NEVER DREAM OF IT.

TG: awesome cool right message you later karkat bro

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

You basically spend the rest of the day reading your favorite series. Thank god for days off.

[vandalsandvagrants]

In my role as Royal Calandrian Historian I've been tasked by this office with relating the following story for public consumption. A story that on it's surface may seem somewhat frivolous but is an important one in the history of our great Nation and will, in this record, be relayed authoritatively to the people for the first time While it took place near 20 years ago when I was a small girl, every detail has been confirmed to me both by the people at it's core who are still with us as well as verified by documentation where possible. As a result, this book will bear the symbol of this office, meaning it is now the official account of the story, long the subject of much gossip and half-truths.

To understand this story some geographic knowledge is required of the Kingdoms and Nations mentioned within. While the principal nations are well known regionally, interest of this story is widespread, being as it has inspired similar undertakings around the globe. As such a very amateur verbal cartography will be undertaken.

The primary, of course, is Calandria itself. A relatively small, coastal nation on the eastern side of the Great Western Continent. Calandria has always had little in the way of land but blessed by what land there was. The Great Coastal Mountains encircle our western borders, providing the bountiful mineral resources that has long made Calandrian wealth the envy of many while simultaneously acting as the country's best defence against any aggression from those envious parties. Attempts by foreign parties to invade via the narrow mountain paths have always been beaten back by our dedicated soldiers with the bare minimum of casualties and the maximum of ease. After the mountains there is a relatively small valley of good farmland and roads before one reaches the capital city. The capital city encompasses the entire coastal region. The world's largest and busiest seaport is here which allows our ships to trade our wealth across the globe as well as providing docking for the unrivalled Royal Calandrian Navy. Thus it is that we are protected on land by the mighty mountains and on sea by our powerful ships.

These reasons, among others, explain why in it's long history, Calandria has never been successfully been invaded or there been a serious attempt made to do so. For near two thousand years, since the old Western Empire was fractured, Calandria has been a stable and prosperous nation. The people of Calandria noble and true, their skins tanned a light brown by the sun of our coast and their mannerisms orderly and refined.

The Ascibian Empire is, I suppose, the secondary player here. A nation of tremendous physical size but little by way of resources. It's once powerful military had been humbled in recent attempts at conquest at the time of our story. This led to economic problems within as, naturally, once a nation who has built itself on the spoils of war as well as dedicated much of their production to supplying their armies with supplies and materials finds itself in peacetime they can find the foundation they've built their economy upon to be a precarious one.

Despite these problems, The Ascibians had long been friends to Calandria for both geographic and economic reasons. Calandria was and is the Empire's largest trading partner. The Empire had the vast and bountiful farmlands Calandria didn't and required the metals and money that Calandria could exchange. Calandria has always been surrounded on all sides by the Ascibians. They shared the mountainous border to our west and stretched on for hundreds of miles both North and South. Trading via land would be near impossible without a friendly relationship with the Ascibians. Once the dominant power on the continent, at the time of our story they were thought by many to be in the final stages of any real power. Physically, Ascibian people tend towards the pale and slender.

The final nation relevant to our story is Nilfenhem. Less a nation really than a loose tribal collection of pirates, hunters, fishermen and raiders united under the banner of a War Chief. The harsh icy coasts of the North and several of the larger islands in the Frozen Sea were the lands they called home. Perhaps a result of the harsh climes, their people grew abnormally large and strong. It was their victories over the Ascibians that truly halted the Empire's aggressive tendencies and, though now at peace, there remained an unease between the two nations.

Throughout the story there may some historical issues that may need clarification. If so, I will provide editors annotations as RCH.

A final note before our story begins. Some of you may be asking both how I'm able to relay such intimate details about the events as well as why this office would write of them in such ribald and descriptive terms. The answer to the first question is simply the diligent research this office is known for combined with extensive interviews. The answer to the second, I suspect anyway, is that some of our drier histories have sold quite poorly amongst the public of late and our office is facing it's bi-annual budgetary review. I'm told amongst the common folk that tales of this sort are quite popular.

~Chapter One, in which tensions boil over~

"It is foolishness, utter foolishness"

Those were the words spoken by Princess Eloise as she paced about her sitting room. If she'd been the sort to swear or throw things she might very well have done so. This was not in her character, however. She'd been raised to be the very picture of stolid Calandrian royalty and the fire in her blue eyes were the only outward signs of her anger and disbelief. The wind was cool, a light breeze coming in from the bay that the Seaside Castle overlooked.

Our Princess was truly a beauty. She was said by all who saw her to not just conform to the standards of Calandrian appearance but also to be the finest example of it seen to date. She was of medium height with long, golden hair that was usually tied into an elaborate braid and skin that had been lightly kissed by the sun. Her face was at once aristocratic and delicate. High cheekbones and and a small, slightly upturned nose spoke to her high breeding while the sparkling sapphires of her eyes as well as the fullness of her lips simply spoke to how blessed she'd been. Her body was slender, soft and exceedingly well curved. Those curves, while earning her the admiration of all visiting nobility, palace guards and the occasional lucky messenger, tended to be well obscured by the formal, flowing silks she was required to wear as crown princess.

Truly, if she was one of many children she'd have been a terrific boon to her father. He could have demanded near anything he wanted for her hand and likely have found twenty dukes or visiting kings willing to pay the price.

But she was not one of many. She was one of one. The only child birthed by her mother, Queen Wilhelmina, before her tragic death when the Princess was only two years old. Eloise's marriage would determine the next King and the foolishness of which she spoke was the decision made in that regard. Today was the day marking her 18th year and, as custom, her betrothal had been announced. King Pietrus the IV had announced that she would be married to Francis, youngest of the three sons of the Ascibian Emperor.

(RCH: King Pietrus, though some may see him as the villain of this piece, was said by many to be a far more reasonable man before the death of his wife. Whether this is true or not, he was widely been come to known as King Pietrus the Incredibly Short-Sighted.)

"I don't know, Milady" spoke Georgina, one of the Princess' attendants "Francis is quite handsome and a Prince to boot. Girl could do worse."

"Don't be so bloody daft." the Princess replied, using language that was among the harshest she'd ever spoken "I was always going to marry someone of high birth. And handsomeness has nothing to do with the matter."

Eloise was no naive girl. She'd long known and accepted that any marriage she'd have would be one of political machination rather than of any childish notions of romantic love. What she'd long hoped for, what she saw as her duty, was that her father would choose the head of a powerful nation and important ally to align with and who'd rule to the benefit of both lands. Failing that, a intelligent Calandrian noble with a good head for statesmanship and warfare who'd make a fine king. As a last resort, she'd even have accepted a relatively harmless simpleton who she could rule through.

But Francis was none of those things. He was the scion of a dying nation who made no secret of his desire for the Calandrian throne merely as a means to funnel wealth to the rule of his father and then eldest brother in order to revive their failing military campaigns. He had no real head for military tactics or statesmanship either. A rude, vain boy who cared for little but his own indulgences.

"And handsomeness would be of scant relief when subjected to his peculiarities in the bedchamber." this was the Princess' Lady-in-Waiting, Marietta speaking. She was a beautiful, slightly less proper sort with copper hair and a penchant for dressing to tempt the notions of decency. Today was no exception, her dress low cut enough to give any sailor passing by the bay with a powerful looking glass a glimpse of an impressive valley of cleavage. She was a few years older than the Princess and her oldest and dearest friend.

"Oh, those are just rumours." Georgina said dismissively "Like you'd be privy to that."

"Me, no." Marietta shook her head "But I spoke with some of the girls in the delegation they sent last year and they said to me that..."

(RCH: Prince Francis' particular peculiarities have never been conclusively revealed. Very few women would ever admit to having been subjected to them and the ones that have have never spoken as to them in detail. None of the principals would even repeat to this Historian what Marietta claimed. The most persistent rumours on the subject have involved several of the larger farm animals and their ruder bodily functions. It is said by some that that the official story of Francis' death of drowning at sea years later was simply to cover up the truth of one of his predilections gone horribly wrong. This has not been independently confirmed.)

"Enough." Eloise interjected. She wanted to continue on the subject she'd brought up and was being made ill by the stories being told "Regardless of his supposed monstrosity the point is that he would deplete the treasury to further his family's idiotic ambitions. We would be a vassal state to a dying, wounded beast. I cannot allow that."

"Well, what can you do?" Georgina asked "Your father's made up his mind."

"I...." Eloise didn't know and stopped her pacing as she did her best to think of a strategy. "I can entreat upon him to change his mind perhaps."

"Seems unlikely." Marietta replied with genuine sympathy "I've heard he's already let the Emperor know and the wedding is to be in two short weeks."

"Well, I can...."

Eloise looked about the room, desperate. All she saw were the eyes of her two loyal friends and her well appointed chamber. Nothing in her sight gave her any ideas as how to avoid her impending nuptials.

"I don't care!" the Princess continued, her mind still empty of ideas for escape. "I will not allow my father to throw this country into ruin simply because he's a believer in old alliances. I'd rather let those four idiots in the town who call for an end to noble rule and a people's republic have their way."

(RCH: While the People's Movement was growing at this point in history, the extent of it was still relatively unknown by the Princess. She really did believe she was simply speaking of Efram Jacobs, William Thurgood, Anton Tebeds and Ignatius Poole, then the authors of the popular treatises on the benefits of a democratic government now referred to as The People's Manifestos. The Princess was a quarter correct in this assertion however as Jacobs was indeed an idiot who'd simply been credited as a contributing author because he worked in, and could provide access to, a printing shop.)

Georgina gasped audibly at this statement

"Milady, lower your voice." she whispered "Any folk, even nobles, who're found to be sympathizing with that lot are hanged by your father's decree."

"I don't care." the Princess replied "I'd rather roll the dice with what the mob thinks than let my fool of a father undo us with his lunacy."

"Milady, I beg you, lower your voice." Georgina looked genuinely fearful "Your father's guards are right outside."

"Half of the entire army could be here in the room and I'd say the exact same...."

"I think she's right, Princess." Marietta interjected, her expression seemingly undecided between concern and a wicked smile. "You never know who might hear you."

This did give Eloise pause. Marietta was not a sheltered, naive girl like Georgina. She knew the ways of the world. Eloise always gave Marietta's advice a great deal of weight and thought. She dropped the subject and sat down unceremoniously on her fainting couch, her frustration making the furniture's stated purpose the furthest thing from possibility. The three sat in relative silence for the rest of the afternoon as they continued with their needlework.

It was over the Princess' dinner with her father that night where she made her case for him to change his mind. She recounted all of her good practical reasons for why his choice had been a foolish one. To nearly every one of her arguments he'd simply responded with a patronizing "There, there" or "This is why men rule and not women" which had infuriated her to no end. He accused her of childishness and ignorance no matter how she went about detailing why such a marriage would spell ruin for the Kingdom. All he could respond with was simplicities about old friendships and parables about naive creatures who could not see the larger world around them. It was when Eloise, at her wits end, began to bring up the unusual sexual appetites her husband-to-be was said to have that her Father finally lost his patience.

"I am the King. My word is absolute law!" he shouted. Eloise simply looked at him angrily. He was an elderly man now. He'd had her at an advanced age and he was no longer the imposing presence of her youth.

"Father, I..."

"No!" he shouted again "You will marry who I have decided. You will provide him a sympathetic ear as he rules this land. Whatever he may ask of you in the bedroom it will be your wifely duty to consent!"

With his final words he threw his utensils down and angrily pushed his chair back from the table. The attending staff looked terrified as they watched the outburst. King Pietrus had been heard to order staff executed for the simplest offences when in a rage. Eloise remained seated throughout the King's outburst. She finished her meal icily as her father stormed from the dining hall. The cold look in her eyes and the furious action of her knife a testament to how she remained true to her convictions.

There was to be no more discussion on the subject that evening and Princess Eloise retired to her bedchamber afterwards. She lay in her bed angrily for several hours, trying to rack her brain for some manner of appeal but finding none, before drifting off into a fitful, restless sleep. She dreamed of nothing as she slept several hours, the breeze from the ocean turning the warm summer day into a chilly night. It was the sound of her bed chamber door closing gently that woke her and so she sat up, clutching her thick quilt to her body. If it was some impertinent guard or, worse, some assailant, she knew the thin material of her bed clothes did little to hide her form.

"Who's there?" She whispered into the dark of her room.

"It's me, Eloise" the voice was unmistakably that of Marietta. The Princess breathed a sigh of relief before letting out an annoyed grumble.

"Oh for the last time...." She began as she let her quilt fall "I thought I made myself quite clear on this front Mari. Firstly, I do not think that I need any kissing 'practice' before my wedding day and secondly I do know that you merely use that as the flimsiest of pretexts to try to indulge in some of your own deviancy."

"What? No. Not that." Marietta responded quickly although as she took in the sight of the Princess, somehow lovelier than ever unmade up, relatively uncovered and with her hair loose about her shoulders, she seemed to reconsider "Well, I mean unless you have had a change of...."

"What is it then?" the Princess cut in "I have very little time left before I'm wed to that beast and would like to at least indulge in some sleep."

Marietta sat on the bed and looked into Eloise's eyes. There was none of Marietta's usual lightheartedness in her tone but a serious purpose the likes of which the Princess could not recall hearing in her friend before.

"Have you been able to persuade your father as to your thoughts on the matter?" Marietta enquired

"No" Eloise said angrily, recounting the tale of her dinner.

"Any thoughts as to another recourse?"

"Well, I had been day dreaming about luring Francis into my bedchamber on my wedding night and seeing how the pig would enjoy a garrote wire pulled tight around his neck." the Princess offered, cheerlessly

(RCH: The Princess, according to some accounts, would have been dismayed to learn that if she'd gone through with this plan that Francis would have enjoyed it quite a bit.)

Marietta continued her line of questioning

"The thing you said earlier. About rather letting the country fall into the hands of the People's Movement, rather than go through with this wedding?"

"What of it?" The Princess asked

"Did you mean it?"

Eloise looked harshly at her friend. She could not know why she was asking. If it was as an agent of her father's Eloise would not put it past him to order her own neck in a noose the evening of her wedding. Still, she trusted Marietta. Implicitly and with all things.

"I did." the Princess nodded earnestly

"What if I told you I knew of a way to perhaps set that in motion?" Marietta asked of her friend, a healthy does of mischief in her eyes. "Would you agree to that?"

Eloise looked at her Marietta skeptically. She didn't know what Mari could possibly have meant. She didn't even know the size and scale of the movement she was discussing. All Eloise knew were two things. First, that if she agreed she would be betraying her family, her nation and everything she'd been raised to believe since childhood. Secondly, that she had to agree for the good of all of the things she'd be betraying. Eloise nodded her head. Marietta's grin grew wider.

"Beautiful. Tomorrow then." Marietta leaned in and gave Eloise a tender kiss on the cheek.

~Chapter Two, wherein a plan is hatched~

Eloise's sleep before Marietta's intrusion to her room had been fitful and uneasy and afterwards it was completely of reach. The Princess kept playing their interaction in her head over and over again. She debated her decision over and over again, changing her mind and re-changing it through the night. She still had not been able to fall asleep when the sunlight flooded her room and permanently ended her attempts to do so. Eloise had only just finished dressing when Marietta knocked at her door. Report Story "Come."

Marietta entered with a small tray that held Eloise's breakfast and she put it down on the small oaken table where Eloise usually ate her morning meal.

"I didn't dream last night, did I Mari?" Eloise asked sleepily as she made her way to her food.

"I'm afraid not, love."

The Princess smiled weakly. In a way, she almost hoped she had dreamed it. It'd mean the decision would be out of her hands.

"So we're still to enact our plan, whatever it may be, today?"

"We are." Marietta said with a simple nod. "Provided you still want to, of course."

Eloise tried to give the matter one final thought but she knew there was little to debate. She'd made up her mind and knew her course of action.

"What must I do?" the Princess finally asked, confirming her intentions.

Marietta gave pause. It almost seemed as though she too had been wishing that Eloise had reconsidered. Still, the look of regret on her face was only a momentary one and, after brushing a few strands of hair from her face, Marietta turned to the Princess with the same look of purpose and determination that Eloise had seen the night before.

"Nothing, for now." Marietta's eyes were red and weary. It looked as though she too had not slept since their late night meeting. "The less you know of the details, the better."

"So simply stay put?"

"Again, for now." Marietta nodded "Simply go about your normal day. If you notice anything unusual, don't mention it or draw attention to it. Don't take visitors. Say you're feeling ill and avoid dinner. You must be back in your chambers by sunset and have a small bag prepared."

"For coin?"

"No coin, just whatever jewels you may have that are small and especially valuable."

Eloise nodded. Easy enough instructions to be sure. She did as instructed, bathing and then dressing as she would any other day. She ate her breakfast, spent time sewing and at her singing lesson, lunched and then was back in her chambers in the afternoon. All day, curious sort that she was, Eloise couldn't help but try to look for anything out of the usual that day. If only to explain some small part of Marietta's cryptic instructions to her. But there was no such sign that the Princess could detect.

(RCH: Eamon Phrubish, then People's Movement Spymaster and now Minister of Intelligence, said when interviewed that there were no less than 38 things the Princess could have noticed that were unusual on that day indicating his intricate plot if she'd had a keener eye. This has not been corroborated and Millicent Arris, his then and now deputy, dismissed that claim, surmising "He was probably just trying to impress you dear.")

And so, as instructed, Eloise had retired in the afternoon, claiming illness and told her guards that she would not be attending dinner if called upon. She strutted impatiently around her room, her heart pounding and her head racing. The idea that Marietta may be an agent in her father's employ not completely gone from her mind, nor her worries that even if she weren't Marietta's scheme might be discovered, jeopardizing her safety dreadfully. She put her worries aside to gather what jewels she could. The Princess had an impressive collection, accrued over the years and put her most valuable pieces into the bag. Various rings, a loose jewels she'd been given and the Royal Calandrian Emerald were among some of the exceedingly rare and valuable pieces she assembled.

Her worries did vanish eventually. When the night seemed it's darkest and Princess Eloise had been pacing for what seemed like hours, there was a knock on her door. Eloise approached it cautiously and was relieved to hear the voice of her dearest friend on the other side.

"Open up, Ellie, it's Mari." Came her hushed, smoky whisper. Eloise opened the door. Marietta nearly yanked the Princesses hand from her wrist as she pulled her into the corridor.

"There's no time to waste, Ellie, we must be off right away." Mari said as they hurried down a hallway. Eloise had no time to speak or question it, she just went with Marietta through the twists and turns of a servants entrance that Eloise had never been down before, one hand clasped by her friend, the other clutching her bag of valuables. The castle was large, with a great many entrances and exits, and Marietta seemed intent on finding a specific one. They carried through at great haste before arriving at a hallway that branched off both to their left and to their right. This caused Marietta to pause and try to think.

"It was left, right, straight, left, left....Oh blast you Eamon, you self-important git." Marietta cursed "I could have written this down."

"Mari, what's going on?" Eloise asked. That drew a sympathetic look from her friend who nonetheless shook her head and again grabbed her friend's hand.

"Once we're outside, Elle, I promise." She said before taking off down the hallway to the left. Eloise could feel the air getting cooler as they reached a final door. Unlike any door to the outside Eloise had ever seen in her castle, there were no guards standing outside of it, nor a heavy bolt lock sealing it shut. Marietta sighed her relief as she saw it and yanked the heavy door open. The cool air rushed over the girls as they emerged onto some sort of loading dock. Clearly, judging by the various carts and boxes, a place where merchants came to make deliveries to the King. There was a small stone staircase that led them down even further and Marietta went down it, her eyes searching about as if looking for something in particular.

"Blast, that lying oaf. He's not here." She exclaimed, frustrated. Eloise stopped, took a second to catch her breath, before finally saying something about their mad dash.

"Who isn't here, Mari? What's going on?" Eloise demanded. Marietta looked at the Princess momentarily, seeming to weigh what to say before replying.

"Alright. Well, here's the thing. A few months ago I took to town for a while. There, I met up with this lovely man. Will Thurgood." She explained, still looking around. Eloise did not recognize the name. Marietta recognized the confusion on her friend's face and explained. "The one actually writing most of those pamphlets. Advocating an end to your father's rule and power to the people."

Eloise nodded.

"Him. Yes. I hate him."

"Why? Oh Eloise don't you see he's right? It's wrong for anyone to rule simply by virtue of their birthright instead of their capacity to do so. You can see this yourself with your father's mad decisions." She said, making an eloquent case.

"That's all very well and good but in one of those pamphlets he refers to me a useless, painted up tart who clothes herself in garish silks that may as well be made of the common people's blood and tears." Eloise countered angrily. She was still fuming about that one.

(RCH: When interviewed for this history, Prime Minister Thurgood made specific request to apologize for this remark noting that attacking the Princess, still a popular figure even among those sympathetic to the Democratization of the Kingdom, was one of his greatest missteps in attempting to ferment popular support. Additionally he added "Although in my defence, nobody writes well in their 20's")

"Yes, well, he's a very passionate man. And we've become...friends since and he's softened in his stance on you thanks to me. So when I told him of your willingness to help the cause he set your escape in motion."

"My escape? Where am I going?" Eloise asked.

"Nilfenhem" Marietta said, apologetically. Eloise was practically speechless.

"Nilfenhem?! Among those barbarians and animals?" She protested. Eloise had been with her father many years ago when they'd received the young War Chief's delegation. She'd been disgusted with them, draped in coarse animal furs and carrying weapons with them. The War chief in particular. A bearded, monster of a man who spoke coarsely and showed neither her father nor her nation the proper respect.

"Best we could do, unfortunately." Marietta said apologetically "Nilfenhem is the nearest nation we can get to by land."

"Why not the docks? Spirit me by boat to one of the island kingdoms."

"By sea is where your Father would think to look first, silly. And with his Navy any nation sheltering you would be demolished." Marietta said, a statement that Eloise nodded along glumly with. "But we have contacts in Nilfenhem. And we've arranged passage via carriage for you and ensured asylum."

"But...but...." Eloise continued to try and poke holes in the plan "We'll have to go through nearly all of Ascibia! Won't they be looking for me too?"

"Yes but with their wars to the South and the West their military roads heading North are near deserted and have been opened up for trade. We've arranged someone to transport you and guide you under the guise of a Merchant and his Daughter."

"But..."

"No buts, Elle. This is the only way. While you're gone the Movement will try to assemble a meeting with the Nobles. With no heir to the throne and not wanting the Ascibians to claim the country, William believes the Nobles will agree to some form of popular rule."

Eloise nodded. That did make a certain degree of sense. The idea of living in Nilfenhem worried her terribly though. She'd heard stories about how they ate raw meat and clubbed their women before raping them as a means of procreation. She relented however. It was for the good of the Kingdom even if it was terrible for her. The princess nodded and sat on the steps, waiting for this accompaniment that Marietta had spoken of. She looked back at the castle glumly. She knew she might never see it again. Never see her Father again. The thought saddened her greatly. Her sadness was interrupted, however, by the sound of two approaching figures. Marietta looked around the corner and cursed.

"Blast. Two guards. Eamon said the bloody guards would...Blast him!" Marietta cursed in a whisper. She looked around the corner. The guards were clearly making their rounds and would be at their location shortly. Marietta thought to her self a moment, grimaced and then took Eloise's hand one last time, softly. The copper haired beauty smiling sweetly at her friend.

"You see that clearing, Elle?" Marietta pointed to a break in the wall that must have been where the Merchants came in on their carriages. Eloise nodded. "I'm going to deal with these two. As soon as I've got them going back the way they came, run there silently and swiftly. Our man will be by shortly. He'll call himself Olaf and refer to you as Sonia. Got it?"

"Got it."

"And should anyone ever ask, I do this for you and the good of our Kingdom." Mari said sadly as she embraced her friend. She took one last look into the Princesses eyes before breaking the hug. She took a step towards the passage the Guards were walking down before returning to the Princess.

"Oh to hell with it, I may not get the chance again." Marietta said as she strongly took the Princess in her arms and kissed her. Not the kind of friendly kiss that the two friends had shared dozens of but a kiss of love and lust combined. The Princess moaned into the kiss, strong and soft as it was, feeling Marietta's hands pull her body towards, her own soft form. It was Eloise's first proper kiss and she enjoyed every fleeting second. The Princess had only just began to return the kiss when Marietta broke it and continued around the corner. Eloise watched as she did. Seeing her friend in a new light. So beautiful and vivacious and sweet. Eloise wished, for a moment, that she had taken Marietta up on some of her earlier offers to kiss. As it was, she simply hid on the steps, watching Marietta as she cautiously approached the guards.

"Who goes there!" Boomed one as soon as he saw her, pointing his long spear in her direction. Marietta simply threw up her hands

"A maid, nothing more." Marietta said innocently. The two guards kept their spears up and kept their distance from her.

"Yeah, she's the Princess' friend." The other, shorter, one said, taking stock of her before lowering his spear. "Seen her around the Castle plenty."

"Shouldn't be out at this hour Miss. Lesser guards might have run you through." The other guard said, also lowering his defences

"But you're not just any soldiers, are you?" Marietta said, her voice dropping a bit and approaching them. "You're palace guards. The best of our nation."

"Well, the Navy boys might say something about that." the shorter one said modestly "But we do know a thing or two about a thing or two."

"Don't be modest. You boys are trained in riding, long arms, hand to hand fighting and are the finest swordsmen we have." Marietta continued "In fact, I bet you two are so proud of your talents you'd be willing to engage in a little bit of sword combat for me, just to demonstrate your talents."

"Can't do that on duty, Ma'am." The Taller one said "But at the garrison every week we have a little tourney and...."

Marietta shook her head

"You misunderstand me. I was thinking just back here, round the servants quarters, you two boys could have just an excellent sword fight in my mouth."

The shorter guard looked at the taller one, who looked back. They fully understood her meaning. Marietta walked back along the passage the way they'd came, swaying her hips. The Guards turned and followed her eagerly. Eloise, whose jaw had dropped as much as either guard's by Marietta's claim was roused into remembering her instructions and darted for the gate in the wall as the Guards went forth to claim their prize. Eloise thought about the possibility of it being the last time she saw Marietta and that made her almost unbearably sad as she passed out of the Castle, onto the little dirt road.

(RCH: Although, later, Eloise was to say that it also would have been strangely fitting. When interviewed for this history Lady Marietta Thurgood, formerly Marietta Tillson, did not confirm or deny the account of that night, simply saying "Well, if that's what you've heard". In this Historian's opinion these facts are largely to be believed, both due to second hand confirmation from many of the palace guards, although none would admit to being one of the two specifically, as well as the nature of the Prime Minister's wife herself. Lady Thurgood, now in her 45th year, remains a captivating and, shall we say, aggressive woman. In an entirely unrelated note, this particular Junior Historian's next work, tentatively scheduled for sometime next year, will be a biography of Lady Thurgood, written with the Lady's assistance at her winter estates. Look for it!)

~Chapter Three, in which things turn dark~

Eloise had sat in a ditch just outside the gates for ten silent minutes, fearing discovery with every second, before she finally heard the creaking of wheels draw along the dusty road. She took a nervous glance down the pitch dark of the road and saw, indeed, a small carriage being drawn by a single horse. She remained hidden, unsure of this being the right carriage until it was nearly on top of her, when she waved to the driver. An immense, black bearded man wearing the simple cloak of a merchant. He saw her and gave a small nod.

"Which one are you then?" his voice was unmistakably that of a Nilfenman. Coarse and unrefined. "The slut or the Princess?"

"The Princess." Eloise said quickly, lifting her dress to avoid the mud as she got out of the ditch before pausing to rebuke him "And don't call her a slut."

"Whatever," he shrugged.

"Let's just be on our way." she said, stomping up to the carriage. The man, still cloaked, shook his head.

"Got to get you lookin' the part, first." He said, tossing a sack at her. Eloise caught it and looked inside. There was a peasant dress, worn and weary, as well as what looked to be a drinking gourd of some sort. She sighed. She'd never worn such a thing before in her life. But she knew her decision meant she'd have to leave some of her luxuries behind. She took up the gourd though, it was far heavier than it should be if it contained water and there was a thick black liquid around the rim. She touched it and put it to her nose, it had no smell.

"That's for your hair, not to drink. Get it in while you're still wearing your silky nonsense so it doesn't stain the dress."

Eloise sighed once again. Her blonde locks had been a great source of pride to her. One of the reasons she was so frequently hailed as perhaps the fairest princess her nation had ever seen. Poets and Minstrels had composed poems and songs to their golden colour and their silken hue.

(RCH: Although another of the Movement's early pamphlets had also described them as "...The bewitching flaxen tentacles of the very symbol of our despot's oppression, parasitically feeding off the toil of our labourers." When reached for comment Prime Minister Thurgood disavowed the comment "I think Anton wrote that one, actually". When reached for comment about the Prime Minister's assertions Anton Tebeds, Chancellor of the Exchequer, denied this, claiming "It was William handled the words, I just projected out the economic models of a less protectionist trade policy. If you ask me, I think Will doesn't want to put his name to too many insults of the Queen because he knows Lady Thurgood will make him sleep in the guest chambers when your book comes out. We are off the record, right? Why are you still writing?")

But they would have to be gone as well. In a way it was fitting. Perhaps the most well-known symbol of her royalty cruelly denied her as she left it all behind. She poured some of the goop onto her hands and ran it through her hair. Surprisingly, the job went quickly, the liquid seeming particularly suited for this specific task and, in very little time, leaving her looking as though her hair had always been the colour of the night sky, An almost blue-ish black. Eloise ducked to the ground to wipe her hands of the dye before standing up.

"I'm going to the woods to change." Eloise said, causing her guide to shake his head.

"Nope. Not to let my eyes off you." he said firmly. She grumbled.

"Then at least turn around." she commanded, trying to sum up her most authoritative tone. He shrugged, as if the idea of staring at her naked body was not something that interested him in the slightest and did as requested. Eloise removed her elaborate silks, her delicate underthings, feeling the cool night air on her naked body for the very first time. Her nipples stiffening as she felt chills run through her. She put on the simple slip and dress quickly, not wanting to be naked in this barbarian's presence for longer than absolutely necessary. She dressed, the thin, rough cloth still clinging tightly to her womanly body, and made her way to the back of the carriage, stepping into it. It was empty, dirty and sparse. There was little more than two long boards along side either side of the wooden vehicle that she correctly interpreted were to be their beds for the coming journey. This was to be her home for the weeks or months that her journey would take. The thought made her want to cry. She sat down on one of the boards and looked desperately at the floor.

"You ready, your highness?" Olaf yelled as she could feel the carriage turn around.

"Yes." Eloise responded weakly while she began to regret, for the first time, her choices that led to her state.

~Chapter Four, in which a most foul offer is made~

Eloise awoke in only a few hours of sleep, the carriage still being pulled along at a steady and unspectacular pace. Whatever the plan was, it was not to make their way through the country side with great speed. Her sides ached from sleeping on the stiff board and her head pounded. She made her way to the front, though, and parted the curtain to where Olaf was driving them from, stepping out onto the little seat beside him. "Morning." He said, his cloak now off and his harsh, broad face visible. Eloise squinted for a second as she looked at him, her eyes still weary. But she recognized him. She knew him right away. The same unruly mass of black hair, same bushy beard. Same enormous frame.

"You....you're the Nilfenhem War Chief. Not some guide." She said, horrified to see the man who'd terrorized her so as a girl. He was as massive as she remembered, the ensuing years doing little to age him. If she had to guess she'd have said he was twice her 18 years but, she admitted, he'd looked the same age nearly 10 years ago.

"I am the War Chief. Yes." He nodded "Which makes me the best guide ever. And the best fighter ever and the best hunter ever and the best fisher ever and the best lover ever and so on and on. Your friends wanted to ensure your safety. So they agreed to a steep price to ensure the best protection for this scheme of theirs."

Eloise just glumly shook her head. She'd gone from being a fawned over princess to being a dirty merchant's assistant, assisting the man she used to have nightmares about, in less than a day. She stared ahead at the road they were travelling, clearly making their way west from the city.

"Your friends seem to know their business. There's been no attempt to block the roads this way. Apparently it didn't cross their minds." Olaf said, seemingly at once impressed with the intelligence of the Movement and contemptuous of the Army's response.

"News has gotten out then?" Eloise asked

"Indeed, messengers this way and back all night. Unless something else exciting happened last night it's a safe bet all of your vaunted Navy is setting up some blockade or another." Olaf gave the horse a little encouragement. Eloise simply sat and did her best to savour the sights of her homeland, knowing it may be her last chance to look on every leaf and tree that had once seemed to mean so much to her.

"We should use this as an opportunity." Olaf said, matter-of-factly "We will at some point be stopped and searched and you'll need to know our story."

"I'm Sonia and you're my father, Olaf." Eloise repeated.

"Tremendous." Olaf said, more contempt in his voice "And what village are we from? What do I sell? Why is my daughter with me instead of a proper assistant? Why are we returning with an empty carriage?"

"I don't...."

"Congratulations. You've gotten yourself captured and me killed. Or you killed and me having to bust open two guards' heads and forfeiting the second half of my payment." He spat "So, as I said, let's use the time to get this straight."

Olaf then spent the next 20 minutes imparting their slightly complicated back story. Each time she made even the slightest of mistakes making her start from scratch and repeat the process. Eventually she had learned the story to the point where she could recite it word for word, even answering slightly varied questions about it as he fired them at her.

"Not bad." He said finally, admitting she'd made the progress needed. Eloise beamed. She'd always been a smart girl.

Olaf's insistence on practice had been prescient for, no less than an hour or so later they did finally come upon a guard station. Two guards manned either side of the road, their Halberd's crossed so as to prevent any passage. Olaf brought the carriage to a halt and sat still as the guards approached them.

"State your business." Asked the one on his side, his Calandrian accent being a pleasant change to Eloise's ears even though she feared capture.

"I'm Olaf. Merchant." He said to the one who approached on his side. Eloise did as she'd practised, looking straight on ahead, even as the guard's weapon passed near her feet.

"Why are you here, Nilfenman?" He asked again

"Returning home. Made my sale."

The guard on Eloise's side looked hard at her

"You, girl, what did you sell?" He asked sharply, doing his best to examine every inch of her face.

"Whiskey. 18 barrels." She said plainly. Ordinarily she'd have thought to said sir but Olaf had strictly informed her that Nilfenwomen only recognized two titles, Father and Chief. If the man was neither, you'd address him plainly.

"How come your cart's not full then? Isn't that what merchants typically do from stop to stop?" This was directed to Olaf

"We just deal in Whiskey. Make it and sell it. Your Calandrian spirits are like water to my people. Won't sell." he shrugged. The one questioning Eloise kept at it.

"Where are you from? What's your name?"

"Sonia." She said, still doing her best to mute her upper class, educated tones. "The village of Bruggeshill."

This seemed to more or less satisfy the two of them. They clearly had bought Eloise's act and lowered their spears slightly.

"Seen anything suspicious on your way here?" one asked "We're looking for an escaped....prisoner."

"What does he look like?" Olaf asked

"She, actually. Blonde hair. Very comely. Posh and such." he said "Supposedly a chambermaid of someone. Stole something."

Eloise did her best not to smile at her description and then the fact that, though the Army was on alert, there was already a cover story floating around. Either these men didn't know they were looking for the Princess or they'd been told not to instruct the public. Either way, Eloise knew it meant that her disappearing was of great embarrassment and would cause great uproar when actually discovered. Marietta and the Movement's plan may just work.

"Nope," Olaf shook his head "No Calandrian women. Just my daughter here."

"Hold on a sec." The one looking at her said "Why'd you bring your daughter with you? I thought you Northerners didn't let your women out of the village."

Eloise didn't let it show but her expression froze. This had been the one part of her story they hadn't discussed. She had no idea what to answer. Thankfully, the question hadn't been posed to her.

"That's how I make money on my ride back." Olaf said "Either of you two lads wants to get your dick wet in her it's 10 of your gold coins or something of like value, your choice as to how she takes it."

Eloise remained still but inside she was livid. She knew he'd kept that from her on purpose. Acting as though she was a whore? Her old prejudices came back to her. The man was a beast. A vicious, cruel beast. And worse, he'd blown their cover. The guards would never believe that....

"Gods, you Nilfen are animals!" exclaimed the one who'd been questioning Olaf. The other one actually looked as though he was considering the offer.

"Suit yourself," Olaf shrugged "But her mouth is second to none I've ever had."

Eloise held still. She knew her life depended on it. But inside, she was as revolted as the first guard had looked and the second guard now looked.

"Get the hell out of Calandria, filth." The man said, waving them past. While both of them looked at Eloise with a mix of disgust and pity, believing her to be a girl being sold and enjoyed by her father. She'd never felt more rage and humiliation as they went past. Yet, she held her tongue, mot speaking until she was well sure they were past the ear shot of the guards. When they were she turned to him and spit at him, the glob of her saliva splashing against his robe.

"You contemptible, filthy cur. I am the heir to the throne of Calandria and I assure you that no matter what the risk to my personal self if you ever speak of me in such a manner again, regardless of the guise I'm under, I will make sure you are strung up and your belly opened for my personal amusement."

Olaf just wiped the spit from his robe.

"It worked didn't it? They couldn't wait to see the backs of us." He said "And you're going to have to get used to your inheritance being mainly null and void at this point. You're just a woman now. Act accordingly."

"No matter the station of my birth I would never allow anyone to speak to me as such or use me in such a disgusting fashion. I have never done anything like what you described. What you Northerners do with your women sickens me."

Olaf simply shrugged.

"And it's useless as a plan besides. We were saved by the good grace of Calandrian decency. If those two weren't such good examples of my nation's men our plans would all be for nought."

Olaf nudged the horse on a little faster, tiring of the sound of her voice.

"No, Princess, if those two weren't such good examples of your nation's men we'd have been delayed 10 minutes and have 20 extra gold pieces."

(RCH: Those two upstanding, if perhaps a bit gullible, Calandrian soldiers were Privates Edmund Cork and Barton Tilbis of the King's 3rd Guard Division and had in fact been briefed to watch for the Princess. When reached for comment Cork, now a Master Sgt. with the same Division, said "I kind of had a feeling something was up. She was a little too fresh-faced to be some Northerner's roadside meal ticket and when he brought up the thing about her mouth she definitely gave something away in her eyes. She could have snapped his head off she looked so angry. But the truth was I was as opposed to a union between the Princess and that Ascibian monster as anyone and was already something of a supporter of the Movement. So I certainly didn't want to call her out on it and send her back". Tilbis, retired from the Army and now a private merchant himself, said "That was the bloody Princess? Fuck me. Now I wish I'd had the ten gold pieces on me.")

~Chapter Five, in which hands are dirtied~

They'd travelled the same road for days now and the Great Western Mountains were in view. Both Olaf and Eloise knew that meant the border soon. Because of the harsh mountain passage to cross the border, Olaf had decided that they'd stop for the night and make camp rather than simply continue on through the night as had been their custom. He'd been driving for days and Eloise proved unable to take the reins from him. They'd found a small clearing and Olaf had started a fire before heading into the nearby woods to find something to eat. That was good news. Eloise was starving. She hadn't eaten a proper meal since leaving the palace and Olaf's supplies were just dried, cured meats that Eloise found awful. She'd eaten only tiny bits and pieces to get her strength up. Fresh something, anything, sounded delicious to her now. She sat near the fire and tried to warm her hands a little, the air was cool this near the Mountains. She'd been enjoying the fire so much that she'd barely even noticed Olaf's return with his arms full. He dropped the pile in front of her roughly, causing her to yelp. In front of her were two dead animals and a pile of various other things. She recoiled at the dead animals briefly before looking up at him, impressed at what he'd caught with seemingly no tools or weapons.

"How did you manage all this?" She asked, already trying to see what they all were.

"I'm the War Chief. Best hunter ever, best scrounger ever." He said, sitting down on a nearby log. "I don't know much about your wilds so some may not be edible, some may. Do you know?"

"Of course I do." Eloise said, asserting herself. "All I've done since I was a child is study my Kingdom. I can identify every blade of grass in our fields, every fish that they sell at the markets."

"Good for you." Olaf said, warming his own hands, clearly unimpressed.

"Like this," Eloise continued seeking to prove her point by holding up one of the root vegetables he'd brought "Is a Red Mountain Parsnip. Usually farmed, can grow wild. And these are Mountain Field or Princess Clara Mushrooms, named for their flecked spots. My great-great-great Aunt Clara was quite freckled about the time they became popular in our food and those are two Fastback Hares. Not eaten often, as they tend to be lean and quick, rather than your farmed rabbits but they can do in a pinch."

(RCH: While well taught, Princess Eloise had been taught something of a sanitized, royal family friendly version of our nation's history. Most in this office now accept the theory that Mountain Field Mushrooms had been renamed Princess Clara Mushrooms by the locals because of certain comments she'd made about the farmers in the Mountain region and their complaints about the heavy tax rates the local Nobles had imposed. Clara's remarks supporting the Nobility could only, in the eyes of certain locals, have sprung from the same wild fecal matter that the Mushrooms tended to grow in.)

"A fascinating history you people have." Olaf said sarcastically as he retrieved a knife from his boot, tossing it towards her "Now make them into a stew."

"What?" Eloise said, staring at the long, sharp blade as though she didn't know it's purpose.

"Cook them. Into food. For us to eat." he repeated slowly as if speaking to a child.

Eloise was taken back. She'd never cooked before in her life. Now she was expected to skin and prepare two animal carcasses? And cook them over an open flame? She looked at him like he'd asked her to jump in the air and stay afloat.

"There's a pot in the back of the carriage. Set it up and get cooking."

"I don't know how!" She said, as if that should have been obvious to anyone with half a brain, which was about what she pegged Olaf as having.

Olaf sighed in frustration and picked his knife up from the pile along with the two Hares. He took them to where he'd been sitting and began skinning them, even the sight of which Eloise found distasteful.

"Out of curiosity, do they teach the women anything down here? You can't cook, can't drive a carriage, you looked at that knife like you'd never seen a weapon before in your life and, as you said earlier, you've never been with a man."

Eloise was feeling very small and weak until he'd said the last part.

"Of course I haven't. I'm a Princess. I was to be married to the next King. Who would want a Queen of spoiled virtue?" Eloise asked, glad to be turning the tables slightly. In her eyes, only the least civil of people could not instantly recognize this.

"Who would want any woman who didn't know her way around the bedroom?" Olaf asked, just as amazed as she'd been. "Explains your Men a bit, I suppose."

Eloise fumed some more. Olaf just continued speaking of his people as he prepared the animals.

"We men are meant to be out hunting and fighting and sailing and plundering. So our women must not be helpless waifs. They need to be able to cook and mend a broken roof and work a plow and forge our blades and rear our children. They have to know how to please us when we come home with spoils and defend the town when we're gone."

"Your wife must be a very fine creature indeed." Eloise said with a shake of her head, trying to picture the woman unlucky enough to be Olaf's fur covered bride.

"Hah!" Olaf laughed as he finished with one animal and moved to the next "A War Chief doesn't have a wife."

"So...."

Olaf continued to explain.

"Each Village has a first woman. The strongest and smartest and most able. When I'm in that Village, I'm in her house and her bed." Olaf said fondly "Although technically it's my house and my bed. Technically all of the houses are mine, I suppose."

Olaf paused, as if he'd never really considered this before. Eloise tried to stomach her distaste for the arrangement and probed. She'd always figured diplomacy would be part of her life and learning about other nation's and their customs was part of it, she supposed.

"So how many First Women are there?" She asked

"How many Villages? 70 or 80. Something like that." Olaf said, unsure himself

"So how many children do you have?"

Olaf grimaced as though he'd never really considered this question either.

"Twice that many?" He guessed "I don't really keep track."

This too seemed monstrous to Eloise. To have hundreds of children and not even know them? But she pressed ahead.

"And how do you choose who your first woman is?"

"I don't. They do. Whoever is first woman can be challenged by any woman provided neither of them are with child. If she can best her physically then someone comes to get the War Chief and I come to the Village and, after spending the night with the challenger and provided I'm satisfied with her in other areas, she is the new one. She moves into my house, she raises my children."

"What happens to the old first woman?" Eloise asked, now concerned for hundreds of women she'd never met.

"Does whatever her challenger did. Challenger farmed, she farms. Challenger made steel, she makes steel."

"That sounds horrible. Your women sound beastly"

"Now you know why the Ascibians were unlucky when came across one of our war parties, unluckier still if they came across a village." Olaf smirked

The whole thing sounded barbaric to Eloise. Worse yet, it was where she was going to be living for the foreseeable future. Olaf was right. She didn't know how to do any of those things. She'd be....well, she didn't know what she'd be. Useless. She looked at Olaf and ducked her head up, feeling very tired and very alone but determined. Confident.

"Stop." She said, causing Olaf to pause from his skinning and look back at her.

"Why?"

"You're going to have to teach me, right? To skin and fix roofs and make plows and everything if I'm going to be of any use to my new village"

Just saying that made Eloise feel awful but if she was going to be joining their culture she was as determined to be as positive a member of her new society as she'd been to be a good Queen and Wife. Olaf considered this a second before nodding.

"So what first? Fighting? Roofing?" Olaf asked

Eloise shook her head. She'd start small.

"Might as well teach me to skin and cook a small rabbit." She sighed, rolling up her sleeves.

"You're in luck. I'm the best Skinner ever. Best Cook ever too."

That night went reasonably well for her first night under Olaf's tutelage. He did a good job of teaching her the finer points of using the knife to skin, gut and bone the rabbit and then setting up the pot. There wasn't much to the cooking. There wasn't any fine spices or complicated methods to use. But Eloise was a fast learner and a hard worker and by the end of the night she'd cooked the rabbit and the other ingredients into a simple but palatable meal for the two of them. Olaf had simply shrugged. He was only impressed that a woman from the South was so eager and willing to attempt to learn his ways. The results were adequate at best. Eloise, though, had gone to sleep with her arms aching and her face dirty and smeared with animal blood but she felt accomplished. Like she'd really done something.

She was intent to drift off to a peaceful slap but the sound of slapping of flesh had started beside her. She'd rolled over and looked at Olaf and saw his massive fist wrapped around an even more massive penis, stroking it quickly. Eloise had never seen one before, only had them described to her by Marietta. But Olaf's looked, despite his massive frame, over sized even for him. Thick as one of her arms and bloated at the top. It looked like it belonged on a horse instead of a man.

"What are you doing?" Eloise asked, bolting upright and moving away from him

"Why? You want to learn this part too?" He asked, vaguely hopeful

"No. And never. I want to contribute when I get to the North, not be one of your women." Eloise said, noting with some dismay that he was not stopping his stroking.

"You won't do it, so I have to." Olaf shrugged. "Been a long time since I saw one of my villages, been with one of my women."

Eloise rolled over so that at the very least her back was to him.

"God, that thing is grotesque." she exclaimed, trying to ignore the sound of his hand.

"War Chief." he said calmly "Biggest cock ever."

(RCH: Olaf's claims about his particular greatness remain something of a mystery. Whether he really was widely acknowledged to be historically accomplished, and sized, as he claimed it has never been verified due to the oral, rather than written tradition of Nilfenhem and our general lack of familiarity with their culture. During the course of my research for this book I travelled by ship to the nearest Nilfenhem village and spoke with their village elder. I enquired as to where the Nilfenhem's historical records on such matters were and was informed by the Elder that he had the historical records right there and I was welcome to study it for as long as I wanted. He said this, however, while grabbing a hold of something that, while impressive, was decidedly not what I had come to see and so the mystery continues.)

The next few days of the trip were all about negotiating the mountain pass. Despite this, Eloise's education had continued. She'd driven the carriage, made a fire and sewn the small, prepared rabbit hides into her dress so as to keep her warmer for the journey. When she'd gotten comfortable driving, their trip had progressed faster, as Olaf now could sleep some nights as Eloise drove. While making for faster travel, this did mean that Eloise did occasionally have to listen to his masturbation while on the road, something that she only would dwell upon during the brief moments that controlling the carriage through the mountains was not difficult enough to command her full attention.

They were stopped several times by guards. Twice along the way and again at the very end of the passage when Calandria's Mountain wall gave way to the Ascibian Empire's endless lowlands and farms. The Ascibian's were no more cautious or clever than any of the other guards, however, and their especial distaste for Olaf's people seemed to work in the carriage's favour. Their guards were clearly resentful that the Nilfen had beaten their army and yet won the right to still trade by land with the Calandrians and so they were more inclined to be waved ahead. Eloise, now looking wearier and stronger and dirtier, was receiving even fewer looks of enquiry. Nobody, it seemed to her, could even entertain the notion that the filthy, road weary girl could possibly have been a beautiful Princess.

Inside the empire, their journey began it's longest stretch. While leaving Calandria had taken just over a week, the Empire was vast and the trip through it would take many, many weeks. While this meant a long and weary stretch, it also meant there was more opportunities for Eloise to learn more of what her future life would be like. Olaf seemed an eager teacher and, despite it adding time to their trip, they stopped every day. Every day seemingly had a new lesson or a refinement on the one before. He'd even spent money at the one small town they'd passed through on spices and supplies to advance her study. At one stop near a river she'd made the fire, caught fish, boned and filleted two for their dinner and then cooked it, spicing it as per Olaf's instructions before salt preserving the rest. The next stop had required repairs to the carriage which Eloise performed under Olaf's watchful eye. All of her considerable intelligence and drive were applied to every task and she seemingly had no need to ever be told anything twice. Once he taught her, it was instructed to memory and could be repeated by her on command. Some lessons, however, were harder than others.

"Ooof" Eloise exclaimed as she fell to the ground in pain. Olaf's hand had cracked into her face as she charged him in an attack. He'd sidestepped her easily and sent her sprawling.

"You are slow and clumsy and you look as though you have absolutely no intentions whatsoever of actually hitting me." He said. His tone wasn't cruel, just blunt. Eloise wiped the dirt off of her face and was on her feet, ready to try again. They'd found a particularly good spot for their camp this day, a large clearing next to a small lake, and had decided to take some time to really pursue Eloise's combat education.

"It's not really fair, is it? You're the war chief. Best fighter ever, right?" Eloise said, circling him slowly "So I don't really need to learn how to fight you."

"If the way I fought you was the way I actually fought, I wouldn't have made it past the first challenger to my title." He said dismissively.

Eloise attacked, thinking she'd found a weak spot. She feigned a punch to the throat before spinning around, hoping to catch him with an elbow to the stomach. Olaf had not been even momentarily convinced by her first movement and blocked the elbow easily. Now, with her back to him and vulnerable, he raised a boot to her backside and pushed, knocking her to the ground again. Eloise cried out as she felt her knee scrape against a rock, tearing some of the skin. She held herself on the ground for a second before getting up, beginning the attempt again. Olaf shook his head.

"You're hurt." He said, pointing to her bloody knee.

"I'll survive, keep going." She encouraged harshly

"We've been at this for hours." He said, rolling his eyes to the sky. "I'm hungry."

"I'll cook your damn food in a while. Keep your guard up." She said angrily, again looking at his movements, trying to see a weakness. She charged forward. Olaf sidestepped a kick, then a punch, then stepped back from a knee. Even as he moved away from her attacks easily, he admired her form. He'd shown her only a time or two how to correctly throw these attacks and now she threw them near flawlessly on every pass. She combined them well too, with creativity and unpredictability. He had to admit, if she didn't look like a soft, Southern girl, he'd have taken her for a decent woman of his people

He did tire of dodging her attacks though and decided to make an attempt to put a stop to this farce. He stood still as she lashed out with her fist, striking him in the stomach. He respected the attempt and even the force, even if he only gave the briefest of notices that she'd connected.

"There, you hit me. I'm vanquished. We're done now." He stated as fact, walking towards the carriage

Eloise stepped back, looking up at him with absolutely no doubt that she knew what he'd done.

"You let me."

"I did." Olaf nodded "But that's an important lesson of warfare. Sometimes you can win simply by being so annoying for so long that the other side gets tired and hungry and gives up."

"But I didn't really hit you." She maintained

"No. And you're not going to unless I let you." Olaf said, grabbing a blanket from the carriage. "You need to try to see your progress in ways other than the impossible."

Eloise fumed. Even after all the progress she'd made, tangible progress, that seemed like a challenging task. Still, she did her best to accept it and went back to the body of the boar that Olaf had killed that day. Even though Eloise hadn't hunted the little thing, she did feel as though it was another sign of her accomplishment. She'd carved the spear, carried the carcass back to camp, hung and smoked the meat and begun drying the hide.

She grabbed a chunk of the cooked meat and simply taken a bite, giving manners no mind. Enjoying the flavour of the crisp, smoked meat as she felt it on her tongue. Olaf had done the same. They ate their fill in relative silence, both exhausted from the day's training. When Olaf was finished, he'd simply rolled over on his side and done to sleep despite the sun being up. Eloise, however, wanted to take the opportunity to do something she'd not done since the start of her jersey.

She grabbed some of her own things from the carriage and walked down to the edge of the lake. She lifted her ragged and torn dress over her head and walked, naked as the day she was born, into the cool still waters of the tranquil lake. The weeks worth of grime and dirt on her body felt heavy and awful as it left her body, reminding her of the fact that it had been there in the first place. She used to bathe daily, attended on by servants and never spent a day where she wasn't dressed and perfumed with the finest fragrances and material that all the ships in the world brought into her home . Now, the small bar of locally made soap she'd gotten in town seemed like the most decadent of luxuries. She inhaled deeply of it. It smelled of nothing in particular but even that was a very welcome change from the scent of sweat, animal blood and dirt that seemed to follow her wherever she went. With the soap and the small hunting knife she now carried, Eloise managed to maintain a grooming standard that, while she never would never have found acceptable in Calandria, now at least felt made her feel a bit more at ease.

She relaxed in the water a while. Feeling the water touch every inch of her. The jagged rocks and sand under her feet not beginning to intrude on the feeling of the water caressing her aching muscles, soothe every cut and scrape she'd accumulated. She held her nose for a second and dunked her head beneath the water as well, letting her dry, greasy hair at least get some sort of wash. As she stood up, however, Eloise saw that she had streaks of black running down her chest and over her jutting breasts. She put a hand to her head and came away with more black. The dye. The dye that had gone on so easily now rinsed just as easily. Eloise had practically forgotten it. She'd grown so accustomed to being Sonia that she'd erased the idea that she'd forgotten entire aspects of who Eloise had been. The blonde delicate princess had become a hardened, fearless raven-haired huntress. The black dye, which she quickly washed from her hair and from her body, reminded her of that. Of the ways she'd changed but also the ways she hadn't. The thought made Eloise frown and caused her to cut her bathing short. Feeling clean and cooled by the experience, she walked back to the camp completely naked, forgoing modesty so as to not have to dress in her dirty garments. She walked up to the sleeping Olaf and gave him a swift kick in the back.

"Hmmmm?" He said, roused from his sleep only slightly. "What is it?"

"I want to have sex with you." She stated bluntly. It was true. She wasn't attracted to him. Far from it. But he'd told her of what men would require of her in her new home and this was the one area of life they hadn't touched on in their weeks together. Olaf did not seem particularly surprised by the news although it did jolt him from his slumber. He stared up at her naked, dripping body and, rather than betray any degree of attraction on his own part, just looked mildly surprised at the change in her appearance.

"Your hair is blonde." He said, simply stating the fact.

"It is. Now get it out." Eloise motioned to his pants

"Can I at least ask why you've taken such a shine to me all of a sudden?" Olaf asked although his removing of his cloak clearly indicated he was amenable to her request.

"Nothing to do with you." Eloise said as she stood a little closer to the crackling fire, letting the heat dry her dripping skin. "But I may want a man someday. May want children. If I need to know what I'm doing for a family in your backwards nation I need to learn it all. No half-measures."

Olaf could feel his cock harden. Ordinarily he had little taste for soft Coastal girls, he'd been raised to appreciate the stronger, sterner women of his land. But Eloise was extraordinarily beautiful. Even after her hard journey she still had maintained her delicate femininity. Her high, full breasts capped with light peach-coloured nipples, fully hardened by some combination of the desire for sex and the dip in the cold water of the lake. Her slender form was unusual to him but her wide hips indicated she may indeed be suitable to bear the children of his people and the golden curls between her legs held their own unique appeal to Olaf. He undid his tunic as well, finally.

His torso was as she'd expected it. Muscled, with hair as dark as on his head, and scarred. It was not at all the body of the man she'd envisioned herself doing this with. It was one forged by hard, physical work and battle.

"And you've never done this before?" Olaf asked as he began to tug at the leather breeches he wore.

"Never." Eloise nodded, her mouth feeling dry and her body warm. Marietta had long since told her of what would actually transpire when she engaged in the act but she'd kept herself pure as was her duty. "But I'd never gutted and skinned small animals before I met you either and I figure I've grown accustomed enough to the unpleasantness and mess of your womenfolk's duties to do this too."

Olaf laughed. She really did sound like she hadn't been with a man. This gave him no pause, however, as he removed his leathers. He'd made many a girl a woman in his days. He finally removed his clothing, letting his mammoth cock come into full view.

"This....this was a mistake. This will not work." Eloise shook her head as she finally saw his massive organ in the light of day. It was an immense thing. Not smooth and soft as she'd hoped it might appear but dark and cragged, with heavy veins, with two similarly oversized testicles below it. "That will not fit inside me."

Olaf chuckled. He'd bedded Calandrian women before. One's who were shorter and slimmer than the Princess. They all said something similar when they saw him for the first time.

"It will." Olaf stated, patting beside him on the blanket. "We just need to get you ready first. Come here and we'll begin."

Eloise nodded, trusting his instruction. She felt like a small child again, seeing Olaf before her father. He seemed just as giant and imposing as he had then, more so because of the thing between his legs, and she was just as terrified of him as she'd been then. But she did as instructed, sitting on the blanket beside him. Her body was mainly dry as she lay on the somewhat harsh material she'd slept beneath for these last few days and though on a soft patch of grass, the hard ground beneath her was still what she felt as she sat. This was a far cry from the plush bed and fine silk coverings she'd assumed would mark this occasion. Olaf looked at her fiercely, his grey eyes seeming to suck her into him, making her stop thinking of the oddity of the situation and as he leaned in towards her, Eloise felt her reservations fall away some.

He did not kiss her lips, as Eloise had expected, but rather her neck. His beard wiry and rough as he did. She craned her head to the side though, allowing him a better access to it. He kissed for a while before his kisses became bites. Soft at first but then harder. Her neck and her ear and her shoulder. Eloise simply assumed it was the way the Nilfen mated. Eloise had been expecting tender kisses but she had to admit the sensation was not unpleasant. It felt primal and raw. As though she were being claimed by right of dominance. His large hands made her breasts feel small as he cupped them, he was clearly taking some especial delight in the feeling of the soft flesh and firm nipples in his hands. He tweaked the buds slightly as his mouth travelled down from her collarbone to them. He was only somewhat gentler with them than he'd been her neck. He sucked them into his mouth. First one, then the other and then, pushing them together, seemingly trying to fit both at once.

After she'd seen him as a girl, Eloise had had nightmares of him. Of him having her for breakfast. The thought came to mind as he feasted on her breasts. It was an apt description. He bit gently and left his saliva on her nipples as if he were having her as a meal. Rather than be terrified, Eloise was exhilarated. The growing heat and wetness between her thighs now at a fevered pitch she'd never experienced before. Eloise moaned, cradling his head to her breasts as she felt herself almost unconsciously spread her legs. She was glad now that she'd made this decision. She wanted this. Wanted him. He kept moving his head down, past her stomach. his hands gripping her thighs and spreading them apart wider. Eloise knew what he was doing, Marietta had told her of this too. She hadn't assumed that such perversions would be in her own future but perhaps this is what he'd meant by getting her ready.

He leaned forward and gingerly licked at the folds of her sex, tasting her wetness. This brought a moan of appreciation from the Princess. Marietta had described the act as pleasurable, so pleasurable that the two of them should try it together, but Eloise had thought that was simply an appetite unique to her friend. Now, as she felt his large, rough tongue run the length of her, Eloise again regretted that she'd not been as bold with Mari. Not that she wasn't enjoying herself, as Olaf's tongue ran over the bud of her clitoris, she moaned again and doubted Marietta could possibly have known how to do what he was doing. He flicked at it for a while, causing Eloise to throw her head back in pleasure and again attempt to pull his head closer to her. Olaf began licking it quickly, sharply and expertly. Causing a series of increasing moans and gasps from Eloise's soft, barely parted mouth. She tried to decide between closing her eyes, losing herself in the pleasure, and keeping them open and watching the strange act and so she varied between the two. Opening them in attempt to see just how he was bringing her such pleasure but closing them when that pleasure became too much to take. She could feel something building inside her, another of the things her Lady in Waiting had described, as he maintained his frenzied pace. She felt as though she was being devoured as he'd slip his tongue inside her and lick her deeply before returning to his ministrations at that tremendous and long neglected part of her anatomy that he was so expertly administering to. She felt her whole body heating up, her muscles stiffen. She knew the act was coming to a climax.

"Something...oh...something's so close..." Eloise moaned as he continued. She didn't know what it was but she remembered disbelieving Marietta's descriptions of how exhilarating it was. She would never doubt Mari again. It was so close and he was going to give her her first.....

But no. He'd stopped. Eloise opened her eyes and looked down at him, angrily.

"Why have you stopped?" She demanded. Olaf was wiped his mouth with his hand before answering.

"You seemed ready." He said frankly as he got back to his knees.

"But....that was phenomenal. I want to do more of it."

"You wanted to learn the ways of the Nilfen." Olaf said "I only did that you get you ready. Rest assured, Girl, that is not something that you'll receive much of up North."

Eloise fumed. She hated the place again.

"Unless you become one of the Wyrd women, of course." Olaf continued as he put his hands beneath her and brought her up, lifting her effortlessly with his hands on her back so that she was being held aloft over his penis. "But they can teach you their ways themselves."

Eloise moaned in frustration but only because the heat was still there. She hoped the next bit would be nearly as satisfying. Olaf brought her down onto him, biting her shoulder again as she felt her virtue give way to him. She grunted in pain as he did, the large cock pressing into her slowly but strongly, parting her as he entered. Eloise felt impossibly full. The sensation at once pleasurable and painful. She had no real words to describe it. She felt like she wanted to go down further, take more, take this act to it's conclusion but Olaf's strong hands controlled their pace. He kept sinking, feeding his length into her. She understood why the previous act had been necessary. Even with the increased amount of her wetness it was still stretching her impossibly tight and would not have been possible if he'd not coaxed that eagerness out of her. Every time he stopped because of her tightness Eloise had assumed he'd filled her with all of what he had but, after a moment or two of adjustment, he'd push deeper. He seemed endless. In fact, she ended before he did and she grunted in pain as she felt the blunt, thick head of his cock nudge against her limits. He pulled back slightly and rested.

"That's it then." Olaf grunted as he looked down, a good third of his cock still not inside her. Still, that was an impressive amount for even a Nilfen woman. Eloise sighed as she tried getting used to the size of him. He was so large she felt as though she couldn't possibly but, as she stayed still, she felt herself almost shape to his size. It began to feel good. A very different kind of good than his mouth and lips had made her feel but it was unmistakable. When he began withdrawing himself slightly and she felt his every vein and ridge begin to rub against her on exit, Eloise had to admit it may have even been a better kind of good. As soon as he'd withdrawn most of what he'd put into her he thrust forward for the first time. "Oh." Eloise said, feeling as though the thrust inside of her had knocked the wind from her. She felt herself squeeze around him involuntarily as he began feeding her long, steady strokes of his cock. Slow enough so as not to pain her but hard enough to give her more of that delicious, unbearable friction. She didn't know if she could take the pleasure it was so intense.

"Please...please..." She choked out. She'd planned to tell him to stop, go slower, but as she felt his rhythm increase and the heat inside her build again, any such notions were knocked from her and a different request came to her lips "More...harder."

Olaf complied, surprised at the request. His pace increased as he felt his passage ease a little on every thrust, he fucked her harder now. Still with long, even strokes and still stopping just short of her limits. Eloise began moaning uncontrollably, her hands wrapped around Olaf's neck. She had no words, could not have described the sensation, and so she simply gasped and moaned and occasionally entreated him to go harder. She could feel that same heat building but from inside now and spreading outward. She was getting to where she'd been before, she just prayed to all the gods she knew he wouldn't stop this time.

She needn't have worried. He kept thrusting as that something finally came. Her mind going white and her mouth going dry as she screamed so loud that the day's hunting would be ruined by the animals it would scare away. She was lost in the delirious, spasming pleasure. Unsteady waves emanating in every direction from inside her, curling her toes and causing her to dig her fingers into the skin of the man who was doing this to her. The soft, blonde princess riding her first orgasm to it's conclusion with little active thought, simply animal instinct. She quivered and shook and moaned and kept begging for even more. Again he delivered, another earth shattering climax ripped from her body, wringing it of every ounce of composure she had. His thrusting never varying even as she tightened considerably around him. Olaf's expression was one of his own pleasure. Both due to his own friction and the fact that the Princess was a delicious sight when enraptured. As Eloise's second climax still shook her, Olaf's began. His cock discharging inside her with a few days of accumulated wait. A considerable volume of his hot seed filled her and she climaxed again, a smaller, sharper explosion that made her whimper such a soft whimper it sounded as though it was the last sound she had left inside her. As Olaf's climax finished he finally lay her back down onto the scratchy blanket. Eloise was barely conscious and yet had never felt so alive. As though there had been some great other aspect to life going on behind curtains all her life that she was now privy to. Like she had a new sense. She lay on the blanket as he rolled off her, withdrawing his cock one last and complete time, and looked up at the wide blue sky.

"Now, that was a little more soft and tender than you'd get from most Nilfenmen." Olaf said after a few seconds of his own recovery. Eloise, whose brain was returning to her in bits and pieces, could not wrap her head around the concept. That had been hard and intense and almost brutal in it's savagery by her feeling.

"How so?" She asked, her words intended to be cautious and disbelieving but simply coming out as if she'd just been woken.

"Well, ordinarily an experienced woman wouldn't have simply taken it. There's more of a give and take, back and forth. He'll be on you, giving you what he can and, if one of our women wants it harder or faster, she doesn't ask. She either chides him into giving it to her or wrestles back, pinning him and making the act faster and harder." Olaf's voice sounded just the same as it had when he'd explained to her how to fish or cook and gave no indication that what he'd just done had been any more pleasurable or exhausting than those things had been.

"Next time." Eloise managed to get out.

"Would you like to go again now?" Olaf asked, a little surprised but seemingly up for the task. Eloise would have shouted her answer if she could but she didn't have it in her.

"No." She simply sighed. She was done for the day. She felt sleep coming on.

"Well, know that you have much to learn on that subject."

Eloise just nodded. They'd train every day. She'd insist on it.

(RCH: Sure to be one of the more talked about chapters of this work, Eloise's deflowering at the hands of the War Chief, though embarrassing to some members of the nobility, is not in any serious dispute. Confirmation of the lovemaking techniques of the Nilfenmen is another matter and was another subject I discussed with the Nilfen Village Elder on my trip. I enquired about the claims concerning the size, skill and relative virility of their men and he confirmed the account relayed here to me explicitly, leaving no doubt in my mind as to the veracity of the account presented . When asked about the Nilfenmen's reluctance to engage their women in cunnilingus his response was "Up to everyone I suppose. Not really spoken of. Now roll over, small one, I think you'll enjoy it even more when I confirm our virility from behind this time.")

~Chapter Seven, in which the last of the guards are dealt with~

As Princess Eloise had planned, such sexual congress became a daily part of her and Olaf's trip. While her other lessons would continue as well, every night they stopped was punctuated by another bout of passionate sex. Each time seemingly more intense and pleasurable than before. Olaf had done it to her from behind, while she was lifted aloft in his arms as he stood, while she was bent over the back of the carriage and in various other positions. Eloise insisted on learning them all. She was becoming quite proficient at it. She was too small to wrestle Olaf but when she did find herself on top of him she had no trouble directing the speed and intensity of their coupling. A time or two she even managed to wrest his climax from him before she found her own, a change of pace that while it was momentarily frustrating she saw as a great victory over him. He'd exerted such a power over her before, now she felt as though she had a part of that as well. Her frustration may have been greater, however, if their coupling had not always started again a few minutes later with different results.

While on the road Eloise tried to keep her mind off of her new discovery but she couldn't help dwelling on it at times. When she'd sit up front with Olaf she'd invariably look to him and think of some fresh bout they'd had and would ask him if they couldn't stop for a few minutes and go into the back of the carriage. Olaf would invariably agree. He'd even suggested it a time or two himself. Their journey was becoming delayed, however, and their frequent stops for lessons and such had added nearly a week onto their travel time. So it was that they had been pushing on for some time now and he'd resisted her recent advances. To a point. He'd informed her that there was something she could do while he was driving the carriage and explained in detail. She'd resisted only for a moment, it having been something Marietta had also described to her and she could still remember promising herself she'd never engage in no matter how her husband might beg. But she relented quickly. Which is how they came to be on this particular stretch of road, driving along slowly, with Olaf's thick cock wedged halfway down Eloise's throat.

She'd taken to it rather quickly, once she'd managed to get her mouth wide enough to take the thing and found the taste was not as repellent as she might imagine. She was bobbing on it quickly, wetly, her fist working the part too wide and much for her to get into her mouth as her other hand caressed and lightly squeezed the large heavy balls that were below it.

"Unngh, I don't believe you. You've done this before." Olaf moaned, expertly navigating even as Eloise sucked him like a skilled courtesan. She didn't stop to answer. It wasn't true, she hadn't. But she took to this like she'd taken to everything he taught her. Olaf saw that a hard turn was coming. He knew it well. A final turn North before the Ascibian border town of Kirkley and then only two days until they'd be across the border. He guided the cart on the proper turn, feeling very ready to burst into the Princesses mouth, and cursed loudly. Up ahead in the distance was another block in the road and two guards.

"Off me, off me." Olaf tapped her shoulder. Eloise complied, stopping her ministrations and removing the meaty prick from her mouth with a small popping noise. She sat upright as she saw the same thing Olaf did and attempted to straighten her now Black hair. Olaf shoved his cock back into his breeches as he continued to curse.

"Blast." He said "And I was so close to being there."

"Gods, you poor thing. I wonder what that must be like." She said dismissively, referencing their first time. "Frustrating I bet."

"Pipe down." Olaf chided as they approached. There were two guards on either side of the road but, unlike all the others they'd seen, these looked nothing like professional soldiers. One seemed far too skinny to be a soldier and held his weapon as if it might come to life and bite him. The other was heavier, with a paunch at his midsection and spectacles. The skinnier of the two was the one who approached them, nervously and doing his best to appear imposing.

"Halt in the name of the Ascibian empire, mightiest nation in the land and under the rule of the powerful Atonides the...."

"Again with that. You can just say halt, you know" the heavier one said as he shook his head in annoyance

"The Ascibian Army's guidelines strictly say that when stopping a passenger before inspection that the entire warning must be made for any such searches to be considered just and true." the skinny one countered, clearly having entrusted the rule to memory. The heavier one just looked at him contemptuously.

"The day I actually agree to be in the Ascibian Empire's Army is the day that I use that guidebook for anything other than wiping my bottom clean."

"Agree nothing." the skinny one said before again sounding as if he were reciting "When war causes the Emperor's Regulars to be deployed to the valiant effort, citizens may be conscripted to serve in reserve units, filling such non-essential...."

"Non-essential is right. I didn't even know the Empire stretched this far North." The heavy one said as he rubbed his hands together in the cool air. "I was a student in the capital, you know. Not one of the king's empty-headed volunteers"

"And it's exactly that kind of disrespect for the selfless men who fight to protect..."

"Oh stow it. What's valiant about warring on the Hildok tribes to the south? How did attempting to conquer the Northerners protect us?"

"The Nilfen were beasts! Men who ate their enemies raw and savage their own daughters. Their people deserved to learn our ways and..."

"You're just flat out quoting the bulletins the Town Criers read! You know they're written by the part of the government that's actually called the Department of Propaganda, don't you? The Nilfen, differing culture though they may have, were wildly slandered and grossly underestimated. Fighting them left us with massive debts, a weakened army and nothing to show for the effort"

"Oh and I'm sure that your school books are..."

Olaf and Eloise simply looked at the two, puzzled. They'd been stopped and then largely ignored as they bickered.

"We'd like to be on our way, please." Olaf said, tiredly

The two guards finally turned to the carriage, seeing that the occupants appeared to be of the Nilfen. The skinny one almost visibly choked back a gulp.

"N-not so fast. We've been instructed to search any carriages passing through and interrogate their passengers. Thoroughly." he said, nervously

"Oh, for the love of." the heavy one interrupted "I'm Private Filgrove and this is PFC Milgan."

"Why are you still introducing yourself to the detainees?" Milgan asked angrily. Filgrove turned from Olaf to his compatriot briefly

"Because my mother taught me to do so when meeting new people." Filgrove explained wearily before turning back to Olaf "You look like Northerners, you Northerners?"

"We are." Olaf nodded, looking oddly at the two guards still.

"Where you coming from?"

"Calandria."

"A-ha! They admitted it!" Milgan exclaimed excitedly, tightening his grip on his sword.

"Admitted what?" Filgrove rolled his eyes "We have carriages coming through here every day from Calandria. That's why this road exists."

"But look, it's a girl. It could be...her" The skinny guard said as he pointed his sword in the direction of Eloise. "We have to ascertain beyond a reasonable doubt that it's not...her as per our orders."

"You're right!" Filgrove said, mimicking Milgan's excitement and drawing his own sword and pointing it at Eloise as well. "Are you the escaped Princess Eloise of Calandria?"

Eloise felt her heart quicken. Not so much because of the guards or their swords but because it meant news had gotten out of her flight from her homeland. If these two knew, any soldier on the continent knew. She remained passive as she began to recite her story.

"No, my name is So...."

"You're not?" Filgrove said in mock surprise, sheathing his sword. "You're just a Northern girl on the road with her father?"

Eloise nodded at their cover simply being assumed.

"I believe my doubts have all been reasoned away," Filgrove continued "You, Mil?"

"You weren't supposed to tell them that the Princess is who we're looking for!" Milgan chided, without taking his eyes off of that very same girl. Filgrove ignored him.

"Anything in your carriage that violates the peace accord between the Empire and your people?" He asked "Or hiding anyone?"

"No," Olaf shook his head

"Mind if that one takes a look to confirm?" Filgrove motioned to his partner.

"Help yourself." Olaf shrugged

Milgan scurried back behind them and began inspecting the carriage. Filgrove looked apologetically at Eloise and then Olaf.

"I'm sorry about this, really. You can't imagine how little I want to be here," he said ruefully "Trust me, if I could choose a different king, I would. Although his sons aren't much better, I'm afraid."

"Those things about Prince Francis are rumours!" Milgan's voice came from the carriage. Filgrove ignored it.

"With any luck this Princess escaping business will bring some sense around here." Filgrove said hopefully

"Kirkley is just nearby, right?" Olaf said, changing the subject "They have an inn and tavern, right?"

"A couple." Filgrove nodded "There's the Derbyshire arms, the Hood and Fox...."

"Any of them serve food? Good, hot food? And have anything decent to drink?"

"That'd be the Hood and Fox, little west of the Barracks," he said almost eagerly "Think they're doing mutton tonight. They do it nice, all rubbed with herbs and roasted. Seen a few of you Northern types there too so they'll probably have something to hold you over drink wise."

Olaf nodded. The plan had been to stop for the night and then make the final push. The food and drink definitely made him want to stop. Filgrove simply shook his head and looked skeptically at Olaf, then Eloise.

"You lot don't really sleep with your daughters, do you?" he asked cautiously

"We don't," Olaf said definitively. "But reputations start."

Filgrove nodded, relieved,

"You know what we Ascibians used to be known for? Before we started all this madness? The arts. We were painters and sculptors and playwrights." He said to nobody in particular. "That's where I should be. In the capital. Starting a theatre company. Writing plays."

Milgan came back from the carriage just in time to hear this

"What would you write a play about? Some bawdy comedy? Or one of those neat ones where they use all the cow's blood in the battle scenes?" Milgan asked, genuinely interested. Filgrove shook his head.

"I was thinking something smaller. Just two people. Something about us." Filgrove said with some consideration

"About us? Being guards? And fighting bandits?" Milgan said, sounding interested

"No, about this. About being here, against our will. And waiting for a carriage, with a princess inside, that might never come."

"Sounds boring." Milgan said, disappointed

"But it's a metaphor, right?" Filgrove shook his head to argue "About how all of us are used. How we soldiers allow ourselves to have our lives interrupted or even ended to suit the whims of Nobles we'll never meet for causes they never really explain. I mean, I don't know this Princess. Her escape means nothing to me. But I get conscripted because they need more guards on these roads because she's gone. Does she have a good reason for escaping? Maybe. Is it bad for the Empire? Maybe. But the empire doesn't give a damn about me, so what do I care? So the two soldiers would represent every soldier. One, the naive patriot and the other the cynical and artistic one. So, in a larger sense, it would also represent the struggle for our national identity."

"May we leave?" Olaf said, somewhat annoyed now at their bickering. Filgrove nodded and stood off the side. Milgan did the same on the other end of the road. Olaf gave the horse a push and they started off slowly.

"I don't know," Milgan said, scratching his chin as the carriage drove off "What would happen when they found the princess?"

"They wouldn't. She'd never come. Maybe she'd never actually escaped." Filgrove kept arguing for his idea "It would be about the futility of it all."

"So then where's the action?"

Filgrove's response to this was not heard by Eloise as, by then, the carriage was well out of hearing distance. She did, however, think about what he'd said about her actions. How she hadn't considered what her actions would do to people she'd never met. Also, she thought that the play Filgrove was describing did sound boring and somewhat pretentious.

(RCH: As one might suspect, the Private Filgrove described here is, in fact, noted Ascibian actor and playwright Fenmore Filgrove. This story was included at my ministry's request, after it had been confirmed, with the belief that the common folk love hearing about the early lives of celebrities. Theatre enthusiasts may even see the early seeds of Filgrove's most celebrated work in this chapter. Standing on the Side of the Road with an Idiot: A Bawdy Comedy, continues to be a popular and beloved production both in Ascibia, Calandria and in many other lands.)

~Chapter Eight, in which insults are traded~

Olaf and Eloise made their way to the Fox and Hood inn with great haste. They both had agreed that the sound of food that did not need to be killed beforehand and a warm room for the night sounded like a welcome and refreshing change of pace. Olaf had been concerned to one degree or another about extending their trip in a town with a garrison but, if the two guards they just passed were any indication, that would be of little concern. Olaf wanted a drink, Eloise wanted a bath. They both wanted to eat.

The Fox and Hound was a large, reasonably well appointed place. Catering to travelling merchants and local soldiers mainly. Olaf had booked a room and Eloise had taken a hot bath as soon as they got there. The hot water had felt divine when she'd sank inside the tub. It was like her dip in the lake had been only multiplied by a thousand. She felt clean. She felt rested. She felt safe. The end of her journey seemed nearby. More than that, she felt like a different person.

She was stronger now. Both in body and in constitution. She'd learned so much in barely 40 days away from home. She could hardly imagine herself as the sheltered girl she'd been. She felt womanly. And not in the weak and subservient manner that women in her home now seemed. She thought of herself as capable and confident. Not based on her birthright but on what she could do. Over the weeks their scratchy blankets had been replaced by a soft stitching of furs she'd made from the animals they'd caught, something that was as empowering as it was as a symbol of her growth as it was a welcome change of pace for her backside and knees when she and Olaf would couple. That change was brought on by her. Her skill. Her craft. So when she ducked her head under the water and felt the dye again leave her hair, Eloise felt transformed. She was still Eloise. But a new Eloise. Not Sonia, not a Northerner, but a Calandrian. As keen and skilled as any member of the Navy. After letting herself soak for nearly two hours, Eloise emerged. Blonde and bright eyed. She groomed and dressed and walked down from the Inn into the Tavern. It was a sparse crowd. A handful of locals and, at one corner table, Olaf sat with a bottle of some sort of spirit. Eloise went to him, feeling his eyes, as well as the eyes of the few other men and the barkeep, on her as she crossed the room. She sat down and smiled up at him, he was still examining her carefully.

"You're blonde again." He stated

"I am." She stated confidently

"You're not worried that someone might see you?" He said, not sounding terribly worried himself

"I'm not." she said confidently. There was a second glass on the table, an empty one, into which Eloise took it upon herself to pour some of the liquor into. She took a small sip of it. It was vicious, sharp stuff. With a taste that nearly made her gag.

"That's our whiskey." Olaf said, smiling as he saw the expression on her face change. "And you may want to get used to it. We don't have your fruity wines and such where we're headed."

"And where are we headed?" Eloise asked, trying to get the taste out of her mouth.

"The nearest village is one of the larger ones, Survind." Olaf explained "I have a large house there. They'll find something for you to do."

Eloise nodded. She was beginning to look forward to being in Nilfenhem. To make something of her own. She didn't know what it would be yet, but she felt as though it could be anything.

"And a First Woman? And Children?"

"No children." Olaf said with a shake "The First Woman is named Vetra. One of the newer ones."

Eloise nodded. There was a part of her disappointed that her time with Olaf was coming to an end. As she looked at him, she had no compunction that she felt any sort of romantic love for him. He was a fine teacher and, she conceded, his boasts as a lover seemed based in fact even without a frame of reference to compare them to. She was not upset that he'd take another woman into his bed but she would miss him if, as he claimed, his life was so nomadic as to not stay in any one village for any considerable length of time and she couldn't travel with him.

"Well," Eloise said as she held up her glass "Onward to Survind it is then."

She pressed the glass to her lips and tilted it back, pouring the remainder of the whiskey into her mouth. It still burned but she swallowed it quickly and without reaction. Olaf looked impressed. Eloise caught that and poured another glass. Soon they'd finished the bottle. And another one. Eloise had never been drunk before. But she was enjoying it. The warmth, the euphoria. If Olaf was as well he gave little sign of it. The tavern began filling and someone broke out some sort of instrument and soon there was music. They enjoyed the evening, Eloise going from drunk to slightly tipsy as she stopped drinking and simply sat and listened to the music for a while. Olaf finished two more bottles of his own and still appeared to be more sober than she was. Soon Eloise began to feel somewhat tired, started thinking of that crisp, clean bed she had waiting for her and got up from the table.

"I'm going to bed." She announced without being asked "But first I should get to the carriage, get some more dye for my hair."

"I'll come with you." Olaf nodded "I should at least have my knife on me."

Eloise agreed and the two made their way through the drinking, dancing crowd into the cool night air. They made their way to the coach house, Eloise walking somewhat faster than Olaf and reaching it ahead of him. She leaned forward to look inside. Just as she caught sight of the gourd, she felt Olaf's hands on her backside, his hand lifting her skirt. Eloise simply smiled and parted her legs. She heard his own pants being tugged down and his familiar, still imposingly thick cock being pressed against her from behind. She gripped the carriage tightly as he thrust inside. She turned to him and looked at him harshly.

"Is that all you have?" She said wickedly as she felt his thick, blood engorged cock begin pumping into her "The drink has made you feeble."

"Pipe down, you foolish Coastal hag." Olaf returned the insult, clearly pleased and thrusting harder "I simply don't want to break your delicate frame."

Eloise stood still, not displaying any sign of outward pleasure, even though she had to bite her lip almost hard enough to draw blood to keep herself from moaning as his massive, heavy tool began pumping in and out of her ready, wet cunt.

"This is pathetic." Eloise said when she'd regained a little composure "Fuck me like you weren't some fey tropical eunuch."

"Perhaps if you weren't so soft and doughy I could. If you were a proper woman of the North I wouldn't have to worry about giving you more than you could handle." Olaf said while grunting, pounding into her hard as she'd requested. Harder than maybe he'd ever taken her by some measure. She enjoyed the sensation. Enjoyed the combative wordplay and sex. She was thrusting herself back at him as well which she'd found to greatly increase her own pleasure.

"You talk...ungh...a great deal and prove little." The Princess replied, hating that she'd let a groan of pleasure escape her lips. "But I suppose that's to be expected from a barbarian."

"You...ungh..." Olaf replied, not grunting out of pleasure he was feeling but mocking her own "Are simply a mare. And mares will always be broken."

"When she finds a rider worth half a copper, perhaps." She said, her breath ragged. She was soaked, he was hard, he was fucking her so well. She tried desperately to deny herself the pleasure she was feeling. Her attempts were not helped when she felt his hand reach around to squeeze at her breast, finding her stiff nipple and pulling it harshly. She found herself enjoying the little tweaks of pain, much like she enjoyed the discomfort of his oversized cock. Olaf had grown to know this and, as she felt his hand slap down on her backside, hard, she smiled to herself. He only did it when he very much wanted her to finish quickly. She knew he was close to his own as well.

"You lumbering oaf. I'm starting to think I was the first woman you bedded." Elouise shouted at him. It was all she could do not to burst.

"I wouldn't throw you to my weakest warrior. Or...ungh...even my stallion" Olaf slapped her ass again. This time harder. This time his breathing was ragged, this time his grunt was of his own pleasure.

Eloise couldn't answer. She'd wanted to win. Wanted to prove she could outlast him this time. But she couldn't. Whether it was the drink or the feeling of confidence or simply the huge, pounding prick in her silky insides, it was too much. That one genuine grunt that escaped his lips would have to be victory enough. She felt herself flood, gush and scream as she came. She felt her body seize up and loosen seemingly at the same time. She kept pushing back, kept fighting. Even through her bliss she kept her combative nature. She wouldn't let him beat her twice. She didn't have to worry. Olaf came, his hand gripping her hair and yanking her back, his immense cock filling her with the build up of this sex and the interrupted ministrations from earlier in the day. He filled her with a force that she had never experienced prior to this night, bellowing loudly as he did.

"You are coming very, very close." Olaf said as the two caught their breath, chuckling as he pulled himself from her. As they stopped, there was a noise from behind them. A loud cheer. Olaf and Eloise both turned to see that something of a crowd had assembled outside the tavern to watch them. Some whistled and clapped appreciatively, some laughed. Eloise felt herself redden slightly, realizing that a large group of women and men had just watched her be fucked roughly from behind. Olaf simply chuckled as he stuffed his cock back into his breeches(to a audible gasp or two from one of the onlooking women) and leaving Eloise spread before the crowd for a second. She reached behind her and tugged her dress back down, feeling somewhat embarrassed but not as mortified as she might have thought she'd been if a large group of drunken townsfolk had just watched her do what she'd just done. She turned to the crowd, received a few whistles and cheers of her own and also walked across the square to the Inn. She tried to keep her head down as she did, not wanting anyone from the crowd to recognize her. It was a useless gesture though. If she'd have kept her head up she'd have spotted two familiar faces.

"You see? I told you the Northerners fuck their own daughters." Milgan said triumphantly, his pint of ale in one hand and the other outstretched to his drinking companion. Filgrove sighed and took a number of coin from his pocket.

"Well it could just be that one in particular. Can't generalize." Filgrove argued weakly as he counted five coins into Milgan's palm. Although after doing so he did stop to think for a second. "Besides, wasn't his daughter a brunette?"

(RCH: Unlike many accounts in this history, Olaf and Eloise's stay at the Hood and Fox is well-known among the general population. The current owners of the establishment even have marked the room the Princess slept in with a small plaque, noting that she slept there on her historic voyage, and it has become something of a tourist destination among those interested in our nation's history. There is no plaque detailing the exploits that took place in the carriage house, although it is a widely told local story, and that part was indeed confirmed by Fenmore Filgrove and Horton Milgan, Member of the Ascibian Parliament, Kirkley-Woodlands. "Rogered her for a solid 15 minutes, indeed." said Milgan via a short letter. Filgrove agreed although, when I explained this history to him he pointed out that, technically speaking, he should not have had to pay the 5 pieces.)

~Chapter Nine, in which destinations are reached~

Olaf and Eloise took off early the next morning. They had caused enough of a stir the night before that they wanted to be on the road as shortly as possible. While nobody had recognized her the previous night, she was still a golden haired Calandrian girl. One smart guard or magistrate hearing the story could lead to their end. And so they were off. There were only a few more days on their trip together and they would make them as quickly as possible. No stops for sleep or food, no stops even for more coupling. This was in part because of their schedule but also, as Olaf pointed out when Eloise had broached the subject, there was little left for him to teach her if she wanted to make a satisfactory wife for one of his men or woman of the village she was soon to call home.

The journey went relatively quickly. On the second day, Eloise was woken by Olaf's voice.

"Wake up, girl." He boomed. Eloise, who'd driven for hours the night before, was roused reluctantly, wiping sleep from her eyes.

"What is it?" She asked, clearly annoyed as she peeked her head from the carriage

"We're in my lands. Crossed a few minutes ago." He said, proudly. Eloise looked around. It looked much like northern Ascibia. Perhaps a little more sparse and there were no farmhouses dotting the landscape. Eloise grunted.

"Next time, only wake me if it's important." She said dismissively as she turned back, hoping to get a few more hours of sleep.

It was less than a day from the border to the village. Eloise was actually somewhat impressed by her new home as she saw it, the carriage on top of a hill providing her with good vantage point to see the place. The large, rushing river they'd been travelling along for the better part of the day opened up into a large bay that the Village was nestled in. There was a dock large enough to house several fairly large trading vessels. There were dozens of seemingly well built houses, a market in the centre of the town, some larger buildings and a large wood post wall surrounding it. It was bustling. There were groups of children playing and women working and the odd man around. As her carriage took her closer Eloise noted that they were, in fact, a large people. Their men were large, though not quite so large as Olaf, and their women large as well. They all looked at least a half foot taller than she was and all seemed to have inviting curves. Even the children were large. Olaf caught note of her gaze.

"Impressed?" He asked. She nodded.

"I am. I pictured something smaller."

"As I said, this is one of the larger villages and the one we do most of our trading from." Olaf said, gesturing to the caravans that were on the outside of the city. There were even a few above them on the road. Their carriage had apparently been anticipated they were waved right to the gates. Standing there was a small group of large men at the gates. There were three of the Nilfen warriors, all large and bearded, covered in furs and one man only a little less large and clean shaven.

When the Carriage finally came to a stop, Eloise could see that the fourth man had the dress and tan of a man of her home nation. He certainly was large for a Calandrian though and had a clearly military look to him. For a brief moment Eloise worried that he may have been a man of her father's, sent to collect her. That perhaps Olaf had betrayed her. But, as Olaf stepped down from the carriage and clasped one of his men in an embrace, the Calandrian had approached her side of the carriage and offered her his hand.

"Princess." He said politely as he helped her down. He was a very handsome man, square jawed and stoic, with brown hair worn short. She couldn't place it but she could have sworn she knew him from somewhere. "I trust your journey went well enough? You're unhurt?"

"I got her here, didn't I?" Olaf said after having greeted his men.

"You're late." the Calandrian admonished him.

"There were delays."

"You were waiting for me?" Eloise asked of him, he turned from Olaf to her and gave a curt smile.

"A few days. No matter, Princess." He said politely "I'm simply glad to see you unharmed."

"I hate to ask but have we met before?" Eloise asked, her tone returning ever so slightly to her more refined sounds. The man nodded.

"I'm surprised you remember, Princess. We were both quite young." He said. It hit her. He was the son of someone. Her Father's Grand Admiral. Grand Admiral Poole. That was it.

"Iggy!" She said pleasantly, recalling the tall, dashing boy she'd had a bit of a girlish crush on many years ago.

"It's Commodore now, Princess" He said, his formal tones and mannerisms not changing for a second. "Or something like that. I'll probably be accused of treason and stripped of rank in the next few weeks by both of our fathers."

"You're involved in the movement?" She asked, dumbfounded.

"I am." He said, painfully. As though it had been a decision that hurt even to think "I know I swore an oath to King and Country but , well, Country first. And I will not see the Navy under the yoke of the Ascibians, Ruined in one of their needless wars."

Her small reunion was then interrupted by Olaf.

"My payment, lad." He said. Ignatius pointed to a stack of crates behind him.

"It's all there." Ignatius assured him, eyeing the War Chief suspiciously. Olaf looked back to one of his men who nodded. Olaf motioned to the others who began lifting the heavy looking crates into the city.

"Yes, well, Princess. I'm going to have to be off. I'll be leading the Movement's forces in...whatever is to come next and I really must be back. I'm dreadfully sorry we couldn't arrange for them to treat you as a dignitary but they insisted that in order for you to be among them you'd have to live like one of them. And we very much needed you out of the Kingdom and safe and they were the only option."

"I'll be fine, Commodore." Eloise assured him. "Go, get back. Good luck."

Ignatius bowed to her, formally

"I'll endeavour to win us victory quickly for your sake, Princess. So you can return to us in some capacity or another."

And then he walked away. Eloise waved to him as she left and hoped very much that she would see him again. She turned to Olaf who was beaming with pride at either the city or the crates being taken into it. Eloise looked at him.

"Well, you got your payment." She said, almost sounding hurt.

"I did. Better than a year's worth of plunder. That young man of yours wanted your safety very badly." Olaf shrugged.

"So that's that and goodbye and all?" She wondered, looking at her new home. Despite her training, despite her time with him, she felt very much intimidated by what was to be her new home. Olaf, however, displayed no tenderness, no affection whatsoever.

"It is. You have the bag full of jewels in the carriage. It should buy you enough to get started. A war party will no doubt be through in a few weeks. There are always men who need good wives."

"And you?"

"Me, I'm off to my home and my First Woman." Olaf stated "I will eat and drink and fuck for a few days and then off again with my warband. Plunder somewhere."

"Good luck to you too then." Eloise said, looking at him as coldly as he'd looked at her. He nodded and turned to walk towards the village. Eloise stood and watched him go as he walked away from her without a word. The massive beast of a man strode confidently through the village gates, into his village.

"You'll do fine." he said without turning as he continued. Eloise just nodded.

~Chapter Ten, in which Eloise makes a new home~

Eloise walked into the market place. There was all manner of bustle and jostling. Men spending their plunder and women and elderly merchants plying their wares. There was the strong smell of roasted meat in the air and loud music and yelling coming from a nearby tavern. Eloise could not get over how large the Northerners were. Even the children that ran past her were of her size or larger. The women especially so. Eloise clutched the bag of jewels close to her. Her things were to be sold so as to have enough money to buy or at least procure some sort of place to live. Then she would simply have to live her life. Contribute to the village as best as she could. Eloise walked towards what looked like a jewelry buyer, his well appointed caravan where the occasional warrior would stop to barter his booty. Eloise strode to it cautiously. There was a large Ascibian man standing against it.

"What do you have then, girl? Something of your father's?" he said dismissively. Eloise reached into the bag and retrieved one of her diamond rings, the stone near the size of the pit of a peach and with a strong pink colour. It was flawless, she knew. It had belonged to her Great-Aunt Mildred and had been named "The Calandrian Rose". Eloise had not chosen it by accident. She'd long thought it garish and obscene and had never worn it. It had no sentimental value either, having never met Mildred. The Merchant was a professional man, however, and betrayed no sign that he had instantly recognized one of the crown jewels of Calandria.

"Looks too big to be real." He sneered "50 gold."

Eloise laughed. That was the monthly pay of a guard.

"It is real. It's yours for the price of 15,000 gold." She demanded

"Hah!" He laughed "15,000 gold for that trinket. Even if it were real I couldn't get half that for it. 1000 gold. If it checks out."

"Smaller stones, never mind the history or setting, sell for 10 times your offer." Eloise countered "The price is 15,000 gold."

The Merchant did show some crack to him now. It was a bargain. He knew it. So did Eloise. She knew that certain Nobles in the Tropics made it a point to pay exorbitant sums for historical jewels. If they were royal it was all the better. "3,000" He raised his offer "That's enough for a girl like you to buy one of these homes and live for years."

"The price is 15,000" Eloise insisted "And I know that Crown Prince Kalim of the Vil'anu will buy it for at least twenty

"10,000" The merchant conceded upon hearing the name. That was just who he'd thought of selling it to.

"You are not hearing me." Eloise locked her deep blue eyes upon the man's, her voice not cracking or showing any weakness "You will either pay me 15,000 for this or I will sell it to one who isn't an exploitative thief."

This brought the traffic around her to a standstill. Eloise didn't know it but calling a merchant a thief in a Nilfenhem market was akin to outright challenging his manhood. Men had been killed for it. But the jewelry buyer was not a Northerner. He simply felt the eyes on him and knew that it was incumbent on him to either agree to her price and fight her by their customs. If he lost, and looking at her the Merchant concluded he very well might, he'd lose all respect among his customers in the Village. So he nodded.

"I only have around 12,000 on me for the trip though." He said.

"You come here regularly?" Eloise asked

"Every month." the merchant nodded, his eyes still glued to the jewel.

"Then I will have my other 3,000 next month, won't I?"

"Whatever you say, girl." He just nodded as he reached for the ring. Eloise put it in his hand. The merchant looked at the ring closely for a second before turning to his assistants.

"Unload the rest of the gold where this girl says." He said, they nodded their heads. Eloise walked up to one of the boxes of gold he had and opened it, inspecting that he had indeed brought genuine and standard gold coins. Satisfied, she grabbed a handful and marched off to a nearby stall she'd seen. It was a clothier. Selling the furs that the Northern women around her wore. Eloise grabbed the ones she thought were the finest and again haggled with the older Northern woman, eventually reaching a mutually satisfactory price. Eloise yanked her dress over her head and stood there in the market, stark naked.

Some took note, a beautiful Calandrian girl was not an every day sight, but there was no commotion as she stepped into the thick, soft fur of the skirt and tunic. Eloise stood triumphantly for a second. She was no pushover. She'd gotten her price for the diamond, gotten her price for the furs. She'd worried if Olaf's teachings had only been basic. If her progress had only been impressive for a girl so untrained. But wearing the furs, Eloise saw that was not the case. The old woman had been making these all of her life and the things Eloise had sewn on her trip were just as good. With that in mind, and another thought in her head, Eloise walked from the market with purpose.

She walked down the main road to her destination. It was not hard to find. It was the largest house in the city, built on a small hill and meant to be visible to all. As Eloise walked the road to it, she soon caught sight of Olaf. He was embracing a woman. She was tall and beautiful. Pale, with thick black hair and a muscled, voluptuous form clad in the same furs that Eloise was now wearing. She looked not much older than Eloise was herself although she was much taller. Eloise walked up to the embracing couple. Olaf saw her and looked surprised. Unsure why she was there. He broke his embrace and gave a sweet look to her.

"I told you girl, you'll be fine. You'll find something to do and a husband and...."

"I am not here for you." Eloise snapped before looking back at the woman who was observing her with a mixture of confusion and interest "You are Vetra?"

"I am." She nodded, the First Woman of the village accustomed to strangers knowing her name.

"Are you with child?" Eloise continued

"I am not." Vetra shook her head. She'd only been First Woman a year and when Olaf had visited and tested her she'd not been at the right time for conception.

"Then by your customs and traditions I challenge you as First Woman of this Village." Eloise stated. Vetra looked at her strangely for a second. Then burst out laughing. She was being challenged by a girl no bigger than a child. She looked to Olaf who was looking upon the entire scene with bemusement.

"Is she serious?" Vetra asked of her War Chief.

"Seems so." Olaf said

"And you'd accept this little suntanned thing?" Vetra asked with more disbelief

Olaf thought for a second.

"I would."

"You've bedded her?" Vetra continued. Not a question of jealousy but of certainty. She hated the thought of having to kill Eloise for no good reason.

"I have." Olaf nodded again. Several villagers had gathered and there were runners going throughout the streets. Cries of "Challenge! Vetra is challenged!" were clearly visible. More people were coming by the second. Vetra saw the assembled crowd and nodded. She stepped towards Eloise, her hands up and at the ready. It was a stance Eloise had seen. Olaf had used it. Eloise adopted one of her own.

"I hope you know what you're doing, girl." Vetra laughed as the two circled each other briefly. Eloise remained silent, simply observing her motions. Vetra swung forward with her fists, Eloise sidestepped her attempt easily before they circled again. But Eloise began to smile and she jumped forwards.

Future Bards of the Nilfen would tell the tale of this particular challenge for many years. Always they would embellish. They would call it an epic struggle that lasted days. In truth, it was over after Vetra had thrown her first attack. Eloise darted towards the bigger woman and swung her right fist in a wild cross. Vetra sidestepped it with ease and confidence. She didn't even see Eloise spin out of the feigned punch, slamming her left elbow into Vetra's throat. Vetra was nearly defeated by the vicious blow alone. For good measure, Eloise grabbed Vetra's wrist and twisted it as she pulled the larger woman towards her, her knee impacting Vetra's midsection with an almost audible thud. Eloise then yanked her forward by the wrist again, flipping Vetra onto the ground on her back. Eloise then put her foot on Vetra''s neck while still twisting her wrist.

"Yield or die." Eloise spoke plainly. Vetra looked in shock and struggled but Eloise's grip was too tight and, as she felt herself nearly pass out from lack of breath, Vetra choked out her surrender.

"Yield. I yield." She said. Eloise loosened her grip, allowing Vetra to breath and rub her sore neck. Eloise paused for a second. She really would have killed the Northern Woman if she hadn't yielded. Cheers rang up from the crowd. Loud ones. They cared nothing for who'd won. Just that someone had. And it had been a decisive and brutal one. That was all they needed to swear a new allegiance.

Olaf put his hand on Eloise's shoulder.

"What of her then?" Olaf asked, pointing to Vetra. Vetra rubbed her neck sorely, the first defeat she'd ever experienced at the hands of a Woman.

"You can have him." Vetra laughed with genuine good humour "Him and that smell and that giant thing of his."

Eloise nodded. She knew that Vetra would have no role to fill because Eloise had none. She looked at Vetra, her pale, porcelain skin and silken, luxurious hair and made up her mind.

"She will live in a house I build." Eloise stated, to the crowd as much as Olaf. "She will stay on as my adviser. She will acclimatize me to your ways and the problems of the village."

"Good" Olaf nodded "Now let's go inside and we'll...."

"I'll deal with you later." Eloise said, cutting him off before again addressing the crowd. "What is an area of immediate concern here?"

There were various things shouted but one louder than all the other. As soon as they heard it, their voice was almost as one.

"The Docks!" Came back the cry. Eloise looked to Vetra for information.

"They want the docks rebuilt and expanded. More fishing. More trade." Vetra said, still looking down and rubbing her neck. "Cost too much this season. Maybe next."

"How much will it cost?" Eloise asked again

"Near 10,000 gold." Vetra said "And we only have one thousand people in the village. And they pay no tax."

Eloise then looked to Olaf who shrugged

"I have many villages with many problems." He said "And that's a lot of gold."

"Then whoever will build the Docks will go to the Ascibian jeweller in town." Eloise ordered "And will collect the needed amount from him. Work will begin tomorrow."

Another cheer came from the assembled throngs before they dispersed. They were eager to start on the work. They gave her a few more cheers on the way out. Eloise turned back to Olaf and the still seated Vetra who seemed ashamed to even look at the new First Woman

"Good start." Olaf nodded "But you'll need to..."

"And she," Eloise said, her voice still burning with purpose as she pointed at Vetra "Will share my bed while you are away."

"Good choice." Olaf said, smiling at Vetra "Many First Women have such arrangements."

Eloise looked down at Vetra

"That is acceptable?" Eloise asked. Vetra finally looked up at Eloise. Eloise saw right away that she'd been wrong. Vetra was not shamed. The look in Vetra's eyes as she looked at Eloise was one of pure, unbridled lust. She saw right away that getting defeated by Eloise had warmed Vetra far more than Olaf's tongue had done to Eloise when they'd first coupled. Eloise smiled before turning back to Olaf.

"Now let's go inside and see if I'm enough for you in bed." Eloise said sarcastically, clearly indicating she thought it would be a test of the reverse.

The End

(RCH Addendum: Of course, that is simply the end of Eloise's journey. While the Princess thought she'd live in Suvind for the rest of her days, her time in the North lasted only the 6 years of the Calandrian War of Rebellion. The People's Movement and those loyal to the King fought an intense and bloody conflict better chronicled at length elsewhere before the Nobility, having lost the king the year before, sued for peace after their crushing defeat at the hands of Admiral Ignatius Poole at the Battle of Cafen Strait. The result of the peace was an agreement that called for a Bicameral legislature with one house composing of an elected parliament and another composed of the Nobility. The Nobility, still threatening to call on the Ascibians for aid if their terms were not met, insisted on a Monarch with at least figurehead authority and Veto. The People's Movement readily agreed and Princess Eloise was summoned back from her brief exile. She returned for her Coronation clutching the young Princess Elsbeth triumphantly, her return being seen as a end to the harsh and bloody war.

In the fifteen years since, Eloise has reigned over a prosperous and peaceful rebuilding of the nation. While a figurehead to the People's Government headed by Prime Minister Thurgood, she was nevertheless seen as an important and uniting figure, easing the strife of the deeply divided Nation. Queen Eloise has never married, preferring to consort with various people of her choosing. She is a frequent guest of Prime Minister and Lady Thurgood and also would frequently receive the War Chief Olaf for the remaining 12 years of his rule before his drowning at sea. Vetra was named the Nilfen's Ambassador to Calandria and frequently joins the Queen and the Princess at the Hunting Estates where Queen Eloise makes her personal home.)