#i think I got sidetracked by succession earlier this year and left it by the wayside

[almondcroissantsandink]

*Brady Bunches your BBC Ghosts*

[urimaginespimp]

Happiness (This Love pt 7)

Bucky x Reader (elemental witch)

Set during TFATWS (mostly ep 3)

Note: Angsty confrontation ahead, and some references to Mr. Perfectly Fine because its a bop.

previous part

——–

Bucky and Sam were trying to hide it, but they were fascinated with the amount of collectable expensive cars surrounding them, which Zemo claimed to be his.

“I spent years hunting people HYDRA recruited to recreate the serum. Because once it’s out there, someone can recreate an army of people… like the Avengers.” He stated, peeking out from the car where he was slouched down taking stuff, he needs for a trip.

“I ended the Winter Soldier program once before. I have no intention to leave my work unfinished. To do this, we’ll have to scale a ladder of lowlifes.”

“Well, join a party. We’ve already started.”

“First stop is a woman named Selby.” Zemo stated, now walking out with his stuff, before pausing to face the two men’s way again.

“But before that, it would be way safer for us if you get one of your old teammates with us. Preferably the witch.” He explained.

“We haven’t been able to reach Wanda for some time now.” Sam admitted.

“That’s unfortunate to hear, but I meant the one James was so enamored with.” Zemo clarified nonchalantly.

Sam’s lips twitched, trying not to crack a smile as Bucky glared at Zemo.

“We haven’t been in contact with her too.” Bucky answered in a low voice. He was getting irritated at the fact that Zemo even suggested to bring you into this.

“Actually, I have.” Sam spoke up. “But new Asgard is not a drive away.”

“That won’t be a problem.” Zemo grinned as he led them out to his private jet.

The entire way over to New Asgard, Bucky was quiet. He hadn’t told anyone, even his therapist, but the look in your eyes when he outright rejected you back in Tony’s Lake house was the last thing he sees every night before he falls asleep.  The same set of eyes that would’ve loved him for a lifetime.

Would you even be glad to see him? He couldn’t help but feel anxious.

——–

It was already dawn when they arrived at New Asgard. Val greeted them having received a message from Sam as well after Y/N was unresponsive.

“Well, you, I expected.” she nodded at Sam. “Can’t say I’m pleased to see you, Mr. Change of Heart.” She looked at Bucky as if assessing him fully and Sam snorted at what she just called him. “And you I’m unsure of because I’ve never seen you before.” She nodded at Zemo.

“Val, it’s really great to see you, and holy smokes, Asgard looks rich as hell.” Sam was temporarily sidetracked. From what he last heard, New Asgard was a fishing port.

“This isn’t even half of how the old Asgard really was, but this is all actually because of Y/N’s effort.” She answered proudly.

“Where is she, anyway?” Sam asked. Bucky and Zemo simply assumed you were still sleeping given the time. But the light-almost silent steps on the pavement approaching behind them made all three men look behind.

Bucky felt his throat drying up when he saw that it was your form walking towards them. Here you were, lips red, hair even longer, in a small black strap dress, holding your heels on one hand, as you walked home. Your attention was set on your feet, as if they were the most fascinating thing you’ve seen, as they walk bare along the pavement. And he couldn��t help but note that there was a strong energy around you.

“Dude, stop staring. You’re gonna embarrass yourself.” Sam whispered at his side.

His low voice caught your attention, making your head snap to finally look up and slowdown from walking.

Sam was already smiling at you, undoubtedly glad to finally see you again, and you returned the grin. Then beside him, stood the man you’ve been trying to get over all these months.

His hair was shorter, reminding you of the James you’ve met when testing the time portal. Only difference is that while James was eager to talk and see you, this one in front of you wasn’t even looking up.

Looking at the third man with them, you stopped in your tracks.

“Sam, what the hell is this man doing out of prison, and on Asgardian property?” That was the first thing to come out of your mouth. Sam lightly hit Bucky on the arm to explain.

“We need him to help us find this group of super soldiers.” Bucky answered, finally looking up to meet your eyes. Turning your attention to him, he was surprised you didn’t even offer a small smile.

“Wakanda will get word of this, Barnes.” you told him, not breaking eye contact. You were mad. Wakanda owed him nothing yet they took him in and helped him. Now he was saying they not only broke their king’s killer out of prison, but is also working with him.

Behind the three men facing you, Val was standing with her arms crossed on her chest, close to losing it. She mouthed Barnes at you.

You sighed and walked up to Sam, exchanging a hug, a silent conversation of how much you’ve missed each other. Breaking away from him, you started walking past them, ready to get it over with and head to your house.

“What do you want? As you can see, I just got back and I’m in need of rest.” you asked, still walking.

“Look, you can go back to your parties right after, but we really need you for this. Please.” Bucky spoke up once again. Of course, he’d think you were merely partying your way through nights. But you were just too tired, and frankly, you didn’t feel the need to prove anything to him.

Turning to face them again, you were ready to turn them down but Sam was looking at you with the same pleading expression. How could you turn down someone who’s been nothing but nice to you? And you do feel guilty for not checking up on him as frequently as before.

Sighing, you faced Val and gave her a small nod, indicating to her that you were going. She raised her eyebrows in surprise.

“Fine. Just let me get ready.” heading into your home, you took a deep breath. You thought seeing him again would just make you feel like the pathetic, desperate woman you once were, but this time you couldn’t shake the feeling of hostility creeping up your chest every time you met his eyes.

So maybe you do kind of hate him now.

——–

You were across Zemo, catching up on the sleep you’ve missed on his private jet.

Bucky was seated just across from your left, and he couldn’t help but look at your sleeping form. You looked at peace, and it reminded him of the nights you both had in Wakanda where he’d ask you to stay with him after a nightmare, and the rare times when you’d fall back asleep first.

Then something he picked up from the conversation earlier started to cloud his thoughts. You had kept calling him Barnes. He had never heard you call him that until earlier. It sounded so… strange coming from you. It almost made him hate his own last name.

“You know, I’ve always found her of impeccable beauty.” Zemo spoke in a quiet voice to not disrupt your sleep. Bucky clenched his fist while Sam raised a brow at him. “Now, I never said I’m attracted to her. My heart is forever for my family, but I’m not blind.” he clarified, and noted the former winter soldier’s reaction.

“James, judging from your reactions every time I talk about her, I’m guessing you’re very fond of her.” He took a sip of his drink, waiting for a response – one Sam gladly provided.

“Oh yeah, if kissing her, then pushing her away and leaving her after a funeral is what you’d consider being very found, then by all means, Bucky’s crazy for her.” Sam glared at Bucky, making him uncomfortably shift in his seat.

“Now why don’t you tell us about where we’re going?” Sam shifted the conversation.

“I’m sorry. I was just fascinated by this…” He opened a book on his lap. “I don’t know what to call it, but I see Y/N’s name in here, and oh this part seems important… who is Nakajima?” and before Sam knew it, Bucky was up on his seat, with his metal arm on Zemo’s throat.

The act made you stir on your sleep, and sure enough, your eyes fluttered open, only to see Bucky threatening Zemo.

“If you touch that again, I’ll kill you.” He said in a low voice.

“What the hell is happening?” you broke the silence, making everyone turn to you. Bucky finally let him go, and returned to his seat, not looking at you. He felt almost ashamed that you had to see him act that way. He could only hope you hadn’t heard Zemo say your name was on that notebook.

“I understand that list of names. People you’ve wronged as the Winter Soldier.” Zemo stated, but then unexpectedly turned his attention to you. “I just can’t seem to understand why her-”

“Don’t push it.” Bucky cut him off.

“Miss Y/N. If you don’t mind me asking. How did the avengers manage to bring everyone back? We hardly get enough news in prison.” Zemo asked you with genuine interest.

“The simplest answer is through a time machine.”  you nodded at him.

“Well that I know, but how did you know it would work?”

“We had volunteers to test it out. As a matter of fact, I was one.” Sam and Bucky were now looking at you in interest. They didn’t know about this part. “The first one was Clint, and he only had a few minutes to a timeline of his choosing. When that was successful, it was my turn to go and stay a little longer to make sure we wouldn’t experience any complications if we do so.”

“Where did you go?” Bucky found himself asking, and you turned your attention to him.

“I…” you couldn’t tell them you actually went to his time as a soldier in the camp. “I don’t want to talk about it.” you shut the conversation down and excused yourself to the restroom, leaving them confused.

Opening the door slowly to get out, you paused when you overhear Bucky saying something. “I uh… I went on a date for the first time.” he told in a low voice. You decided to remain behind the slightly ajar door. You hated how it made you feel a little pang in your chest.

He was getting his life back out there while you’ve only managed to only push the hurt deep down instead of addressing and getting rid of them. Maybe once you get back home, you’d give in to Val’s pestering about online dating.

“And?” You heard Sam asked in deadpan tone. It was only followed by silence.

“How about Miss Y/N? You would’ve been perfect together.” Zemo commented.

“Shut Up.” You heard him retort.

“No, let him speak. I mean he has no idea about what happened between you, but I kinda want to hear this.” Sam interjected.

“It’s just that judging by the wandering looks you’re failing miserably to hide, and her being so… uncaring towards you, I could only assume you did something that cost whatever bond you had.” Zemo carried on.

You couldn’t listen to them any longer. You knew what he was going to say next – that he just didn’t feel the same. So you slowly shut the door close again and decided to splash a little bit of water on your face.

When you got back, they were now in entirely different conversation. “Do we want to live in a world full of people like the Red Skull?” you heard Zemo ask, followed by a quick pause. “That is why we’re going to Madripoor.”

“What’s up with Madripoor? You guys talk about it like it’s skull island.” Sam asked confused.

“It’s an island nation in the Indian archipelago. It was a pirate sanctuary back in the 1800s.” Bucky answered him.

“It’s kept it’s lawless ways, but we cannot exactly walk in as ourselves.” Zemo explained further before looking at Bucky. “James, you will have to become someone you claim is gone.”

You could see he was dreading having to do so. And normally you would’ve already assured him that everything was going to be fine, but this time you opted to be silent and look out the window, missing how he and Sam also turned to your attention, surprised of your seemingly lack of concern.

His heart dropped.

——–

You came in Madripoor acting as the Smiling Tiger’s most trusted henchwoman. When he had to act as the Winter Soldier and follow Zemo’s orders to attack, you had to look away, and only hope that he was fine.

You were now in Sharon’s place after she unexpectedly saved your asses while on the run.

“Here. You can use my room to get ready. There’s hot water in the shower and feel free to use anything on my vanity dresser.” She handed you a black jumpsuit similar to what she had on, only that this one didn’t have sleeves like hers.

Taking it from her, you said thank you and turned to where she pointed her room is.

“I suggest going red on the lips.” She added just before you were about to close the door.

“You’ve read my mind, Sharon.” You smirked.

——–

Sam just promised Sharon he was going to try to get her name cleared, when you stepped out of her room and into where they were, now all ready for the auction party.

“You look beautiful, Miss Y/N.” Zemo raised his glass to you.

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Why, thank you punk. Been loving the coat you got on.” Everybody looked great. Bucky was looking dignified in a well pressed suit, and it was taking everything in you to not ogle.

Bucky was gripping the couch hard. How could you converse with Zemo so freely, when you haven’t even uttered a word to him save for a few quick glances. But hew knew Zemo was far from wrong. You were breathtaking.

“Val’s told me you’ve been going out every night. You dance often?” Sam asked you.

Taking your position next to Zemo, you smiled and decided to tell them what you’ve been working on.

“Well since I’ve secured New Asgard’s future already, I’ve devoted my nights to going about the nightlife nearby. Yeah, I dance every now and then, but that’s only when I know the rest of the night will be free of any trouble.”

“What do you mean by trouble?” Bucky couldn’t help but ask.

“Any trouble, really; robberies, killings, but the most common ones are assault. So, I go out dressed just like the others to blend in, but I rarely take part in the partying.” you explained to him.  Sam gave you a smile. He was proud of you.

“Well for the rest of tonight at least, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Go dance.” Sharon smiled at you before getting up to start welcoming guests. “Lay low, blend in, enjoy the party.”

——–

The party was in full swing. You had no idea where the others have gone among the swarm of intoxicated dancing bodies in the room.

“May I get you a drink?” a man asked, appearing in front of you. He was tall, had pretty green eyes, dirty blonde hair, and a charming smile.

“You may… if I get your name first.” You smirked, which he returned.

“I’m James.”

“You’ve got be shitting me.” you found yourself whispering.

“I’m sorry?”

“Any other name I can call you, handsome?” you reached over to act like you were fixing his collar.

“How about Jay?” he smiled at you.

“Jay works just fine.” smirking, you let him lead you to the bar.

Unbeknownst to you, Bucky saw the whole ordeal. He couldn’t make sense of the feelings that kept creeping up on him, but all he knows for now is that he didn’t like what he saw one bit. And with all the smirks that’s graced your lips, he begins to realize he hadn’t seen your usual winning smile.

“Don’t break your teeth with all that clenching, Buck.” Sam was now standing beside him. “Come on, even Zemo’s dancing. What’s gotten that robot brain of yours all mad?” he pat Bucky’s shoulder.

When he was unresponsive, Sam followed the direction where he was glaring at. And sure enough, it was where you and the guy that approached you were standing close to each other, enjoying a drink and conversing.

“Okay, let me ask you something.” Sam started. “Do you, or do you not have feelings for her?”

It took him a while to answer. “I don’t know.” He finally muttered, still glaring your way. “I’m robot brain, remember?”

“Okay, fair enough… But man, you know she would’ve understood if you told her that you want to figure your feelings out first. You didn’t have to be all so casually cruel to her like that. Rhodey said she spent the 5 years during the blip mourning and waiting for you.”

The last part of what Sam just said caught Bucky’s attention.

“What did you just say?” He was caught off guard.

But before Sam could repeat himself, Sharon came with the information they need.

——-

Arriving in Riga Latvia, you got a few cuts and bruises from the fight that ensued while you joined Sharon in keeping an eye out as the guys talked to Nagel. The four of you were now walking to Zemo’s place when you spotted the first bead. You knew whom it belongs to. Glancing Bucky’s way, he was already looking at you. He must have seen it too.

“We’re gonna go on a walk.” He spoke to Sam and Zemo and nodded at you.

“You guys good?” Sam asked in concern.

“Yeah, we’ll see you guys in a bit.” You assured him. Turning away to look for other vibranium beads, it didn’t take long for Bucky to be beside you.

“It was just a matter of time, Barnes.” you said as he picked up another one placed by the corner.

Turning into an empty alley, Bucky called out into the open while holding the bead in between in thumb and index finger. “You dropped something.”

And you felt a presence behind you. Turning around, you smiled at an old friend.

“I’m here for Zemo.”

——–

“He’s a means to an end.” Bucky explained. And you remained by the corner as they conversed.

“Eight hours, White Wolf. Then we come for him.” Ayo stated. Turning to you, she offered a friendly smile. “The princess misses you. She said you’re in need of some…” She glanced Bucky’s way “…comforting.”

“You’ll be expecting a visit from me soon. I’m bringing you and Okoye some Starbucks.” you promised. You’ve been in touch with Shuri through chats, and she knows all about what happened between you and Bucky.

When Ayo left to go back with the other Dora Milaje, it was only you and Bucky left in the Alley.

“Y/N we need to talk.” he said before you could even turn to head back to where Sam and Zemo were.

“Barnes.”

“Would you stop calling me that?” you could see he was irritated.

“What?”

“Quit calling me Barnes. You never called me that. It was always Bucky.” He snapped at you. “Call me Bucky.”

You took a deep breath, trying to compose yourself. “I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” you could hear the frustration in his voice.

“Like you’ve said that day. We can’t start fresh when we’re constantly reminded of something we’re trying to forget. Calling you that would just bring about memories and feelings I’m trying to get rid of.” you answered honestly, looking him in the eye.

Hurt flashed on his eyes from what you’ve just said, but he couldn’t blame you. “Fine. Then call me James.”

You gave him a pained smile. “That won’t do.”

“Why?”

“I actually met James.” you finally told him. Looking at his reaction, one could tell he wasn’t expecting that.

“When I said back in the plane that I volunteered to be the second test subject for the portal, Nat and Steve got me in an old war nurse’s uniform underneath the suit and sent me back to a time where you were just rescued by Steve… and you actually got me to talk to you.” This was the first time you were talking about it. You didn’t even tell Steve what happened on your time there. All he knew was that you met and spent time with Bucky.

“They suggested it because they knew how much I was hurting from losing you. And I came there with the intention to leave with closure. But I ended up promising James I was gonna wait for you.” you tried to blink the tears that was threatening to spill away.

“I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what else to say. He hadn’t even thought about what you had to go through after losing so many people when the blip happened. It was merely a few seconds for him.

“I don’t need your fake niceties. I pulled your body into mine every goddamn night when you had nightmares. I gave you almost two years of my time just helping you get back on your feet. I loved you, and I didn’t expect anything in return. I just wanted to let you know.” You harshly wiped a tear that escaped.

“But then you just had to fucking kiss me and for once, make me think we could be something…” you chuckled bitterly. Bucky remained quiet, just listening to you. “… only to tell me right after it was a fucking mistake and that you want to start fresh alone. How do you think that made me feel?”

“Y/N I’m sorry. Please let me make it up to you.” He started to walk towards you, and stopped when he was only one to two steps away.

“I fucking hate you, Barnes.” You found yourself saying unexpectedly, wounding him further inside. But then you shook your head. “No, I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry, I can’t think straight through all of my fury.”

“It’s okay. I wouldn’t blame you if you do.”

You took a deep breath, realization hitting you. “You know what, I don’t think I could make this all go away by making you a villain. I’m still hurting, yes. But I guess it’s the price I pay for being delusional for what, seven years? I could’ve stopped at one. And now I’m just trying to face reinvention.”

“I didn’t realize -” you cut him off for once.

“I heard you went out on a date for the first time. I’m proud of you.” You genuinely smiled at him. “And I realized that I want to seek happiness too.” There was a glint of relief in your eyes, maybe from finally letting it all out.

For the first time since seeing each other again, Bucky saw the old you come into the picture – soft, caring eyes, and an infectious smile with a hint of mischief behind them.

And for the very first time, the feelings that kept creeping inside him every time you were around had made themselves known.

So imagine his horror when he heard the next thing you said paired with a gentle smile.

“I’m letting you go, Bucky.”

He was in deep trouble.

——–

tags: @eternalharry @iheartsebandchris @lizzarooni @the-ayo-lit @tanyaherondale @knowyourworth-sellyoursoul @eliwinchester-barnes

[shinygoku]

Liar Revealed! A Bug’s Life Essay

A Bug’s Life is my favourite Pixar movie and thus, it turns out I have a lot of thoughts about it. In this case, what was originally my interpretation soley in response to points I’ve seen raised on YouTube and TV Tropes has spun off into this mega essay.... all focused on a single scene.

But hey, it works with one of the film’s main messages; that something big grows out of a small idea!

The scene is the most notorious in the movie, at least from what I’ve seen, and I’m inclined to agree it’s the weakest part of this giant clock. But why is it like that and how could it have been handled better?

As I’ve said, this is actually my favourite (albeit not what I consider their very best) of Pixar’s output, and I wouldn’t have been able to go into such depth without a huge amount of love for the finished product, flawed as it may be.

It’s also possible I’ll write a more generalised thing on what I love about the film in the future, but I won’t promise anything o7;; 🐜

The Lie is ...laid

Actually, I should talk about two scenes. First is where the Lie is established:

After the humourous mutual misunderstanding between the Circus Bugs and Flik, the former are quite horrified to discover they’re expected to fight the Grasshoppers off themselves instead of putting on a show. Ahh, that old classic~

But no, they want out and Flik, who has just been informed by them during the welcoming shindig, is understandably rattled and despairing over this addition to his list of failures. He says the fallout will not only brand him, but his hypothetical grandchildren as a Terrible Loser and even says he’s as good as dead as soon as the other ants find out. Owch.

Before things get too heavy, the focus shifts around until The Bird becomes the main immediate threat. The whole Bird scene leads the ants to become convinced the Circus Bugs are really amazing warriors and, as this is the first time in what could be years that they have a crowd cheering for them it’s the success and Flik’s later idea to make a Giant Mech in the shape of a Bird instead of planning any actual combat that convinces them to play along.

So, that’s the lie set up and solidified. Now for the eventual fallout:

During a fun party after the Bird has been built, an ominous force arrives... PT Flea, the Jerkass ringmaster who had fired the Circus Bugs. This local bug promptly ruins everything by literally shining a light on the Circus Bugs and their nature as such, and then Flik is accidentally outed as the Guy Who Thought Up The Bird.

The Liar Revealed Trope

I would link the TV Tropes article here, but as tungle doesn’t like external sites I’ll just quote the more relevant parts from it:

“Liar Revealed in the Internal Reveal of The Lie, the facade maintained by a protagonist which provides the primary dramatic tension for the plot. This usually sets up the third act where the protagonists are forced to deal with the consequences of the lie on top of any external threats.

There are a few usual ways this ends up. If the lie was for selfish reasons, the protagonist will doubtless face the wrath of those he lied to, but along the way end up having a change of conscience, and try to redeem themselves through good acts and An Aesop about "what really matters". If the lie was well-intentioned, the protagonist may still find that others turn their backs on him, but go on to carry through with what they said they'd do anyway, proving themselves a hero after all.

It's worth noting that this trope is particularly easy and common to misuse, either in the tendency of the protagonist to Maintain the Lie for reasons that make no sense except for dramatic tension or of the deceived to turn against the protagonist for the deception in spite of other considerations that should by all rights absolve him.”

And in the folder there’s a specific entry for this film:

A Bug's Life has Flik supposedly finding "warrior bugs" to save his colony after misconstruing a situation. When he realizes his mistake (that they're circus performers rather than trained warriors), he's forced to keep the lie going in order to not cause panic among the other ants. Once the colony finds out, it inevitably results in one of the most painfully Played Straight examples of this trope in animation history... 

As you can see there, the dislike for this scene has seeped into the entry. Of course, TV Tropes is pretty informal and I like that, but it’s telling that this is a general perception.

Continue reading below the Cut! ✂

What I don’t like

So, I think my main issue with the scene boils down to... it’s very nebulous and unclear as to what’s so bad about Flik lying. Between the Council, the Queen and Atta, there seems to be a jumbled, confusing motive traffic jam that somehow results in what TV Tropes refers to the Liar Reveal Trope being played “Painfully Straight”.

But uhh, what’s the problem? Yes, Flik lied, but we know that wasn’t something he’d planned on doing, it was his attempt at damage control. The other ants don’t know that part, but still, what are they objecting to, specifically? That the Circus bugs are Circus bugs? That the Bird Plan was Flik’s? That.... lying is treated at an absolute moral failing regardless of the circumstances??

The council dudes are like: “OH WHAAAAT, the defence plan was by Clowns??” [No, it was Flik] “OH WHAAAT, we don’t have our mafia money prepared what if Hopper finds out we nearly sicced a fake bird on him!?”

The part about objecting to Clowns drafting the defence plans is actually the more reasonable explanation, but I guess they presumed warriors habitually made Decoy Bird plans instead of fighting themselves? There’s already a hole in their objections but it only gets worse.

The Queen is like: “Wow Flik evidently you’re a self serving prick. Anyway the best thing to do is pretend this never happened and no we’re not going to tell Hopper.”

Why the fuck would that happen? ‘Oh sorry Hopper we got sidetracked doing a ...thing... so we’re still picking your food no please don’t break my legs’

But also, why THE FUCK is this the plan? Some ruler you are, you old prune. ‘We have the bird all made and ready to go but oops the idea came from a DIRTY LIAR so we’re going to return to the doomed harvesting racket even though we’ve been set an outrageous amount and we can’t possibly hope to catch up and even if we had been picking the food the entire time it was established earlier on we won’t have time for our supplies on top of all that.’

Fucking.... astonishing lack of logic. YOU MORONS HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE, GO WITH THE BIRD! Flik himself says something to a similar effect lol

But noooooo, his arguably selfish lie [which is more Omitting the truth once he knew it, really] has forever doomed everything, apparently. Honestly it comes across more like they just hate Flik and see anything he invents as doomed to fail, so the second the truth emerges that he spearheaded the Mech Bird they dismiss it as a lost cause. Even though everyone worked together to build it, and Flik’s inventions weren’t the issue but him being awkward and clumsy. But seeing how Flik’s mere presence in his first scene seemed to drive the Council members into a quivering fury, it really does feel like their objections are from them refusing to give him a chance.

And then there’s Princess Atta. Hoo Boy.

In this scene, she comes off as being ridiculously vindictive, petty and hypocritical. This applies to the Council too, but it’s more galling coming from Atta as by now she’s realised that Flik gets a lot of flak [yay wordplay] from the others and she had resolved to give him more credit. BUT OOPS, that didn’t last!

She takes the Lying thing so personally, acting like he was cheating on her or something. “You lied to MeEeEee” well golly gee whiz, was there any particular reason why he would tell you the truth? Other than his rather obvious crush on you, that is? Cause that would still be a weird reason, seeing how the ‘lie’ was after he’d finally got a bit of decent treatment from the others, why would he wanna upset the apple cart?

He probably feared coming out and confessing to Atta [or anyone else] that they’d lose all faith in him and scrap a valid plan that was the only way out of the grasshopper racket mess. Which would be a bit silly and probably the result of someone with low self esteem and confidence issues overthinking the situation but it’s Exactly what actually happens!

It wasn’t a personal slight against you, Princess! To quote Helen Parr: THIS IS NOT! ABOUT! YOU!!

And wooow, you must be awfully chilly up there on your high horse, Miss “Lied to Flik to get rid of him earlier in the film”! Did you ever feel like fessing up? Like ‘hmm I’ve grown much fonder of this doofus, maybe I should be honest with him before engaging with some more light flirting’ ? Maybe if you had, he woulda been honest in return!

I don’t even see why she and the Council bothered lying about their Snipe Hunt ploy, seeing how now they act like he crossed a moral event horizon. Why even bother making a phoney baloney decoy idea to get him away, when they clearly dislike him enough to play the Brutally Honest card without fretting over his feelings. They coulda just ordered him to stay in a corner away from interfering but instead they’re willing to risk his life on a wild goose chase.

...And she then Banishes him! For what?? Lying? About what, the circus bugs or the bird plan? Both?? It really feels like her taking undue personal offence and the Council hating him and the Queen being old and senile.

So yeah, wow, this scene has what I think is the Unintended side effect of making me hate the stupid jerkface Ant colony as every named ant in it except for Dot fucking suck and throw Flik under a bus the second they deem him to be untrustworthy. In spite of, like, that the plan itself was solid and that the Circus Bugs have all been proven to be Good Eggs. They don’t give him a chance to explain and made their own bed to lie in, so I feel dark joy and satisfaction when the grasshoppers do arrive and kick them around some more.

Wow gee, if only you dumb ass ants had some sort of already made contraption to fall back on?

Why is it like this?

I can only make guesses here, be warned!

From what I’ve gathered of an older version of the story, mostly via Wikipedia, I kinda feel like the exposing would have fit that take better. In the beta version of the story, instead of Flik the lead would have been “Red”, who was a red ant and circus bug from the start. The first draft Circus lot woulda been out to scam the ants initially and I guess would have grown genuine fondness with time. The idea of an outsider flim flamming his way into the good books and later being exposed makes the overblown outrage a lot more understandable. But that’s my hypothesis for the direction they ultimately didn’t go in. Also look at how Red looks like a fuckboi here:

But in the final version, Red doesn’t exist! Flik is a part of the colony from the get go, but also apart from it cause no one likes him as, again, his ideas were good but poorly executed and he seemed to be a hindrance. But the ants should at least see that Flik is genuine in his attempts, that he’s trying his best and they should maybe cut him some slack.

The way the ants have their knickers in a twist doesn’t gel so well with the “Well meaning screwup” angle, especially compared to a possible “Opportunistic so-and-so who doesn’t have real attachments to the colony” route.

Also it may be worth noting up there where I put a TV Tropes excerpt, I bolded the relevant half of the run down, but it seems the other half applies much more to this first draft. Interesting...

So I don’t know, but I got the idea that the scene in the movie is basically a holdover from earlier that didn’t get sufficiently updated. The Liar Revealed Scene is the first thing I’d change if I were rewriting the script, and I might go back and change it again after other parts had been redone too, cause the story needs to flow from point A to point B etc. smoothly or else viewers will get annoyed and point it out in Youtube videos or overly long tumblr text posts.

How could it be fixed?

I’m not saying I’m sitting on the perfect idea of a rewrite. But the main thing is what I already touched on, the jarring disconnect between what happens and how the stupid ants respond.

Like, Atta’s sudden grabbing of the Jerkass and Idiot Balls in this scene. Wouldn’t it have been better if she was instead unsure and conflicted? She had lied to Flik earlier and, unlike the Council, was shown to actually realise Flik Has Feelings Too and apologised for the general lack of faith. She didn’t come clean about the Snipe Hunt Lie, so that could be weighing on her during this scene, maybe she would have been the only Council member to Not want to kick him out but felt pressured into it and hasn’t got into the groove of being the Future Queen enough to pull rank and talk them down from being hate filled twats. Maybe someone will mention the flirting that had been happening as muddying her judgement?

That’s my main idea, compare that with her barging in and taking undue personal offence and shooing him off. She’s supposed to feel like she’s doomed to fail too, so her facing a moral dilemma and falling on the wrong side of the fence could tie into that! (To be honest, her arc is kinda undercooked so hey, I’m killing two birds with one stone here!)

Flik being banished at all is a casualty of The Narrative, that he and the Circus Bugs have gotta go away temporarily for the finale to be cooler and more exciting. It’s a Necessary Weasel of writing and you’ll find them in every story ever made. Sometimes things have gotta happen cause Story Structure. The trick is having them more organic and concealed.

So yeah, have the Old Fogeys be in the wrong [which is so far unchanged] but also the majority of the ‘voting’. Make it difficult for Atta to choose between loyalty to the colony as a whole and her sense of duty versus trusting in Flik, who she now knows to always have his heart in the right place. She comes close to standing up for him and herself, but ultimately falters and gets pressured into the call made in the movie. She’s still ultimately responsible as leaders are, but in a much more sympathetic way.

Summation

This got way longer than I had initially imagined, and that’s even after I cut stuff in the editing process! Let’s quickly review the three main points I’m trying to make.

The Issue with the scene - A big song and dance is made over The Lie, but no reason why it’s such a terrible thing is offered. A perfectly sound plan is dismissed nonsensically.

Suspected reasoning for the writing - The tone matches a potential alternate story much better, where someone would have lied for self serving purposes instead of for the greater good.

A suggestion for a rewrite - Make it much more nuanced and fitting the character arcs. Give the characters a reason to react the way they do and have different responses per person. If the ants are going to drop the Bird plan, at least offer a more viable alternate route than going back to what wasn’t working before.

Does it really matter?

Well, I don’t expect a 22 year old film to suddenly get a rewrite, no. And I maintain that it’s a real gem which deserves much higher praise with the other Good Pixars instead of being so constantly overlooked.

Part of what spurred me to think about the scene and what I’d alter is seeing it referred to as ‘Kinda Bad’ in a youtube video that was talking about another Liar Reveal scene in another movie, and that is a bad take, but the point about how clunky this part is isn’t wrong. I don’t want people to dismiss the whole, beautiful image cause one section of it doesn’t vibe!

It doesn’t ruin the picture, but when people have something negative to say it’s this which is the magnet. And I’m kinda guilty of doing the same thing here, haha. But I wanted to really dissect and examine it, to figure out why it’s like that and to guess how simple it may be to rework. It’s bittersweet, but there ain’t such a thing as a perfect movie.

This has been fun for me to go into though, and it’s nice to get thoughts out from just swirling around inside my head, so even if barely anyone sees and makes it through this whole dissertation, I’m glad I wrote it out. It’s a funny way to derive enjoyment from the bumpy part of a beloved movie, but hey, I’ll take it~

[ryqoshay]

Tri-Arame: RPG Night

Primary Pairing Trio: YuuAyuSetsu Secondary Pairings: AiRina, Shizu??? Words: ~2.8k Rating: T’ish for some fantastical violence and a mildly suggestive ending Time Frame: First year of college? Maybe second? Dunno yet Story Arc: Stand Alone (for now... I may indulge more in this later)

Author’s Note: This may be my most self-indulgent chapter yet; doing a crossover of sorts with my own unpublished work and even bringing in my screennamesake. And trying a new formatting style to boot. But after Setsu’s Bond episode revealed she liked TTRPGs, I couldn’t stop thinking about this. Well, except to get sidetracked by writing two other scenes...

Anyway for those who are unfamiliar with my D&D story - read: at least 95% of my readers, probably more but that's the cap for a d20 - names may get a bit messy and confusing. Most of my OCs have a given name, family name and a call sign. And several have nicknames. I’ll give a list of who is playing who here at the start, but for a bit more information on the in-game characters, please refer to the notes in my Followup Post.

Player - Character Call Sign - Character Name Setsuna - Dungeon Master Yuu - Ryqoshay - Rebecca Bouteillevoix Ayumu - Yozakura - Hakumei Yaiba Rina - Nullsilver Luna Ai - Recipere (Rx) - Rachel Ira Xaviera Shizuku - Lady Sanguine - Vivian Sexton / Sanguine

Ryqoshay couldn’t help a smirk as she took careful aim. It didn’t matter that her bodyguard, Yozakura, was engaging her intended target in close quarters, in fact that was a boon. The girl knew her best friend’s fighting style better than anyone, so it was merely a task of picking the right moment. The bandit wouldn’t know what hit him.

Dodge. Feint. Parry. Strike. Now. She released her arrow.

“Nice! A Nat 20! Roll to confirm your crit. Perfect. Now for damage and don’t forget your bonus.”

“Yatta!” Ryqo cheered as the bandit collapsed, clutching his throat where the arrow had struck. The man was dead before he hit the ground and the raven-haired archer scampered toward the blonde ninja. “Yoza-chan! Thanks for keeping him distracted for me!” she threw herself into a tackling hug.

“Y-Yuu-chan?” Yoza stammered. “What are you doing?”

“Yuu-chan?” Ryqo cocked her head to side. “Who’s that? I’m Ryqo, remember?”

“Are you guys talking in character or OOC?”

“O-Oh… uhm, sorry Setsuna-chan… I meant Ryqo-chan.”

“Ne, Ayumu, would a super serious girl like Yozakura really use -chan?”

“Aren’t they childhood friends?”

“Well, yeah, kinda like you and me, but…”

“Honestly, are you two in or out of character?”

“Sorry, Shizuku-chan, we’re still learning our characters.”

“It’s alright. Maybe we can talk more about things after this battle is done?”

The DM cleared her throat. “Anyway, Sanguine, you’re up.”

A manic bout of laughter from nearby caught their attention.

“That’s the last of ‘em!” Lady Sanguine practically shouted as she stood over the bodies of several bandits, her two longswords coated in almost as much blood as she was herself. “Too easy! You guys are a hundred years too early to think you could defeat me. And look, your blood has barely sated my blades. Pitiful! More! I demand more bloodshed!”

“Were we not to leave at least one alive for interrogation?” Recipere made her way over to the redheaded barbarian, healing magicks already gathering around her hands.

“Woops…” Ryqo chuckled, rubbing the back of her neck with one hand, while refusing the remove the other arm from around Yoza. “I was just caught up in watching Viv-ne-chan take down all those bad guys that I didn’t want to be left out of the fun.”

“Woah, I got you, I got you, Vivian.” The blonde cleric said as the barbarian collapsed into her arms.

Vivian mumbled something unintelligible as her rage subsided and her personified bloodlust retreated into her mind.

”What’s up, Setsuna-chan?”

“Nothing, nothing. Don’t worry about it.” The DM’s giggles betrayed her words as she read something from her phone. “I’m awarding Inspiration to Vivian Sexton.”

“Thanks.” Shizuku responded with a smile. “This Vivian/Sanguine persona switching thing is turning out to be quite interesting.”

“Ne, Luna-chan!” Ryqo called over to the team’s artificer. “Was that really all of them?”

Nullsiver Luna held a finger to her lips as she stared at some device in her hand. Silence reigned in the roadside clearing for almost a full minute, the local fauna having long since been scared off by the sounds of the battle that had finally ended. Suddenly, the orange-haired girl pointed and a moment later, an anguished cry sounded from a stand of shrubs a short way into the woods. From the sky, something dived into a nearby tree while something else scampered across the road into the brush.

“Race you there, Yoza-chan.” Ryqo let go of her bodyguard and made for the bushes.

“Y… Ryqo, wait! It’s dangerous, let me go first!”

“Nope!” The archer cried happily over her shoulder. “If you wanna get there first, you gotta be faster than me!”

Yozakura couldn’t help releasing a frustrated grumble before she followed her charge. With her training, however, she easily caught up to and passed the other girl, but remained annoyed as the two approached the scene.

“What in Karla’s name are these things?!” A young man, not much older than the two girls cried, his eyes shifting rapidly among several gathered devices.

“They are my familiars.” A blue-haired artificer stepped into view.

“Wait, Rinari, wasn’t Luna’s hair orange earlier?”

“Yes.”

“Huh…”

“Itov Altiui, to me.” Nullsiver held out her arm, upon which the bird-like contraption landed and stood like a well-trained hawk. “Moxt Tonash, Weyog Kornari, maintain your positions.” She instructed the cat-like and spider-like automatons.

“Where did you come up with names like those, Rinari? I love them! You have to tell me what they mean!”

“I’m interested as well, Rina-san. I was intrigued when I read them in your character bio and would love to work something into a future campaign.”

“… I can send it to you two…”

“Thanks, Rinari!”

“Yes, thank you. Anyway, where were we?”

“Those don’t look like any familiars I’ve seen.” The bandit continued.

“I made them.” Luna responded simply.

“Well, now that we have your attention,” Rx suddenly appeared from the direction of the road, a fully healed Vivian in tow “we have a few questions for you.”

“I’m not telling you anything!” The young man practically shouted.

“Oh ho?” The redheaded barbarian grinned, slowly drawing her swords.

The bandit flinched, but otherwise remained defiant.

“We just want to know where your boss and the rest of your gang is hiding.” Ryqo spoke up.

The bandit spat towards the girl’s feet.

“Take me to your leader!” The archer demanded.

“Yuu-chan…”

“What’s the matter, Ayu-pyon? That was hilarious!”

“As amusing as that was,” the DM interjected “I’m afraid neither of your Intimidation checks were successful. Would someone else like to try their hand?”

“Like I said, I ain’t telling you guys nothing!” The bandit insisted. “The boss will kill me if I gave away our hideout’s location.”

“You realize, of course, that we’ll kill you if you don’t.” Rx stated, matter-of-factly.

The young man glanced among Vivian and Yozakura’s blades, Ryqo’s bow and the three automatons. “You guys ain’t got nothing on the boss.”

“Tell me.” The artificer began. “When you cried out earlier, was it because Weyog Kornari bit you?”

“You mean this thing?” He kicked at the spider, which dodged with ease.

“Yes.”

“What of it? It didn’t hurt much.”

Luna raised an eyebrow but did not attempt to dispute the claim. “I believe I should inform you that you have been poisoned.”

“Yeah, so?”

“You may not feel much now, but you will. Soon. Everyone reacts a little different, so you may notice some blurred vision, shortness of breath, chills, perhaps some perspiration despite the chills…” She spoke in an almost unnerving monotone as she continued to list potential symptoms of the toxin.

The bandit held a hand up and stared at its visible shaking.

“Ah. I see. That would be your nerves being attacked at the chemical level.”

The bandit suddenly convulsed.

“It will hurt. A lot.” Luna continued to explain solemnly. “Until it reaches your heart. Then it will hurt more.” She knelt beside him and held out a tiny vial for him to see. “This is the antidote. Only this can save you as I have ensured my poisons cannot be cured by magical means.”

The young man tried to reach for the vial but ended up clutching at his chest before convulsing again and curling into a fetal position.

“Tell us the location of your base of operations.”

“Alr…” The bandit began before choking off. Despite his entire body shaking now, he managed to make what appeared to be a nodding motion.

“Recipere, Lady Sanguine, please hold him.” Luna requested of her guildmates.

“Right.” Rx replied, moving forward, alongside Vivian.

Once the spasming man was secure, Luna pulled the cork from the vial and upturned it into his mouth. Within moments, his shakes began to fade until he lay still completely.

“Is he dead?” Ryqo asked, poking at his arm with the end of her bow.

Vivian delivered a quick backhand across the bandit’s face. His eyes snapped open and he gasped.

“Ready to talk now?” Ryqo leaned over the bandit with an all too cheerful grin. “If you’re really that worried about what your boss might do to you for spilling the beans, let me assure you we’ll be taking care of him as soon as you tell us where he is. Then you’ll be free to run along and join some other bad guys and we’ll meet again when some other town hires us to get rid of you. Sound like a plan? I think it sounds fun.”

The young man stared up in confusion at the archer. His gaze drifted over to Luna, then to the spider automaton and back to the artificer. With a sigh he began to reveal the location of the hideout.

“Alright, that seems like a good place to call things for the night.” Setsuna said, glancing up over the top of her DM screen. “But before I forget, Rina-chan, Nullsilver was the one to get the bandit to talk and your performance was quite chilling so I’m awarding her Inspiration.”

“Mm.” Rina confirmed with a nod.

“Rinari, that was amazing!” Ai marveled, leaning over to throw an arm around her girlfriend and pull her close. “It honestly sent shivers down my spine.” She giggled as she nuzzled the younger girl’s cheek. “Who would’ve thought you could be so evil.”

“Not evil. Just not good.”

“Rina-chan’s right.” Setsuna nodded. “You’re from a guild of mercenaries, technically none of you are good; you’re all Neutral on that scale. Sure, you’re currently contracted with a town that’s more good leaning, but you could just have easily been hired by the bandits instead.”

“Oh dear, is that the time?” Shizuku sighed as she checked her phone. She looked across the table at Ai and Rina. “We’ve missed the last trains of the night.”

“You guys can stay here if you want.” Yuu offered.

“That’s not the problem.” Shizuku lamented. “She’s not going to be happy…” She started typing something on her phone.

Ai laughed. “Just tell her to join us next time.”

“Next session would actually be the perfect time for a new player to join.” Setsuna pointed out. “We can work it into the story that you guys sent for another merc from your guild to assist in the raid of the bandit camp. And I can adjust the threat levels of the encounter as needed.”

Shizuku nodded. “I’ll be sure to ask her again…” Her phone chimed and she frowned upon checking the message. “I know I’m about to get an earful, but I’m going to call her.” She stood up.

“You can use my room.” Yuu said. “If you’re good with a couch, you can use that, otherwise Ayumu will have to help me find our guest futon.”

“Thank you, the couch will be fine.” The younger girl nodded and excused herself.

“Yuyu, you still don’t have an actual bed?” Ai asked.

“I like it.” Yuu shrugged. “Though I suppose there is one bed I prefer these days.” She pointed a thumb over her shoulder to indicate Ayumu’s bed behind her.

“Of course.” Ai turned to Setsuna. “So, does that mean we’re to take your room, Setsu?”

“Yes.” Setsuna nodded. “Everything is clean because, well…”

“Because you sleep here.” Ai chuckled.

“Y-yes…”

“Honestly, I’m surprised you all fit.”

“It’s actually quite comfortable.” Ayumu spoke up, somehow managing to sound less embarrassed than the dusting of red on her cheeks would have otherwise indicated.

“Well we’ll leave you to it, then. C’mon, Rinari.” Ai stood and took the pink-haired girl’s hand.

“Mm.” Rina affirmed, allowing herself to be led out of the room.

“Setsuna-chan!” Yuu threw herself at the raven-haired girl as soon as the door closed.

“Yuu-san? Wha…?” Though the behavior was by no means out of the ordinary, it still surprised Setsuna.

“I’m sorry!”

“Huh?”

“I spent the entire night flirting with Ayumu.”

“You mean your character flirted with hers.”

“Yeah.”

“But, that was perfectly in character? I figured you two would act that way based on the bios you gave me for them.”

“Well, yeah, but I don’t want you to feel left out.”

Upon realizing what Yuu meant, Setsuna laughed lightly. However, she stopped when she felt herself being embraced from the other side as well. “Ayumu-san?”

“Yuu-chan is right,” the redhead said softly “we don’t want you to feel left out.”

“You guys, I…”

“Hey, I know!” Yuu interrupted. “There’s a bunch of other mercs in the guild, right? Why not write up a character of your own to join in the campaign?”

“That’s a good idea.” Ayumu agreed. “I’d like to see what kind of character Setsuna-chan might play.”

“And then I could have my character flirt with Setsuna-chan’s in-game as well!” Yuu concluded.

Setsuna’s mind spun through several possibilities. But as she glanced back and forth between the faces of her two girlfriends, still snuggled in close, something snapped. “Impossible! I can’t!” She cried before a wave embarrassment washed over her from the outburst. “I mean… I…” she fumbled to explain “I have enough to do as DM running the game. It would be too distracting to try to play a character on top of that. Especially if…” She trailed off.

“Especially if…?” Yuu pressed.

“… Especially if you two were flirting with me…” Setsuna admitted sheepishly.

Yuu laughed. “Don’t worry, Setsuna-chan, it would probably be just me doing the flirting, I don’t think Ayumu knows how.”

“I do too know how to flirt.” Ayumu stated, reaching across Setsuna to punch Yuu lightly in the arm.

“Pouting isn’t flirting, it’s just cute.” Yuu pointed out in an amused tone.

“Mmph...” Ayumu puffed her cheeks.

“Case in point.”

“Ayumu-san was indeed very cute tonight with her reactions to Yuu-san.” Setsuna recalled, thankful for a moment’s respite as Yuu focused on Ayumu. “You played your characters well and were in perfect sync in battle. I’m really looking forward to our next session.”

“We did good?” Yuu blinked.

“Very much so.” Setsuna nodded. “With the exceptions of the occasional name slip and confusion about in or out of character talk, but those kinds of things happen in many games. So, honestly, if I didn’t know better, I wouldn’t have guessed this was the group’s first session together.”

“Oh…”

“Huh?”

“Well, it’s just I thought I wasn’t doing as good as the others because I never earned any Inspiration awards.” Yuu explained. “Ayumu didn’t either.”

Setsuna replayed the night’s game in her head, scouring it for memories of each award. She had recorded them in a document on her laptop, but with her girlfriends hanging off her arms, she was unable to confirm with certainty.

“I know!” Yuu suddenly spoke up, excitement in her voice. “Maybe if we get you some of your favorite snacks for next time, that will earn us a few points?”

Setsuna shook her head. “Sorry, no. Actions taken outside the game like that shouldn’t have an effect in game.”

“Maybe I can give you a massage?”

“That’s even worse.”

“Even though you love me?” Yuu cooed.

“Yuu-san, it is because I love you that I need to take extra precautions. I refuse to participate in the impropriety of playing favorites, or even giving the impression that I am. It would be unfair to the other players and jeopardize the enjoyment of everyone.”

“But is it fair to ignore her completely?” Ayumu interjected.

Had she really not awarded any Inspiration to either Yuu or Ayumu? Setsuna tried to recall again.

“Shizuku-chan was awarded Inspiration for making you laugh with inner dialogue acting.” Ayumu continued. “But Yuu-chan also made you laugh multiple times with her antics, yet…”

“Hrm…”

“Rina also earned some for her great acting and giving us all the chills. And while I don’t think Yuu-chan’s character could do the same, she certainly entertains in other ways.”

Setsuna sighed. “Perhaps I was being too cautious.” She conceded. “I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted.” Yuu said with a smile before craning her neck so she could press a kiss against Setsuna’s cheek.

That was quick. Then again, it was Yuu. Still… “I can’t fairly grant awards via retcon, but I promise I will try to be more fair going forward. I really do want everyone to have fun with this game.”

“We are having fun.” Ayumu assured.

“It was even obvious that Rina-chan was having the time of her life.” Yuu pointed out. “And maybe Shizuku-chan can convince a sixth to join. And if Ayumu and I weren’t having fun we wouldn’t be so excited about the next session.”

Setsuna smiled. “Thank you. So long as my players are interested in continuing, I’ll do my best to DM a good game for them.”

“We know.” Yuu’s tone changed a bit. “And all that hard work deserves a reward, right Ayumu?”

Setsuna gasped as a hand slipped under her sleepshirt to push fingertips past the hem of her shorts and graze across the skin near her bellybutton.

Yuu giggled. “I think Ayumu’s getting a little impatient to issue your reward.”

Whatever Setsuna was about to say in response was cut off as Ayumu covered her mouth with her own.

Author’s Note Continued in Followup Post

[artificialqueens]

Underneath The Mistletoe, Part 2 (Bianca/???) - Albatross

AN: second installment of Underneath The Mistletoe! This is probably gonna end up being 4 parts in total but we’ll see.

As Bianca drove off from Willam’s apartment, she placed her phone on speaker and called up Alyssa. She only had to wait through three rings before a voice on the other line picked up with a rather unamused, “Bitch.”

“Hey, Alyssa!-”

“No, no. Nuh-uh,” she interrupted in order to start a tirade that had been stewing all day, “Don’t you talk to me like you didn’t leave my house in absolute state last night! Y’all tryna drink me out of house and home and-”

“Hey, I wasn’t the only one! Raja-”

“You and Raja! You two were the ones that broke into my liquor cabinet-”

“No, we didn’t!” Bianca squeaked out as she attempted to defend herself. “It was unlocked!”

“You both spearheaded it!” Alyssa declared adamantly. “None of the others would’ve even found those bottles if it weren’t for you two snooping around!”

Hating that she was getting sidetracked by this unwanted argument, Bianca felt obligated to point out, “We weren’t snooping!”

But that only produced another loud tangent being screamed through the phone line as Alyssa ranted away. If the car hadn’t been steadily moving along through the busy streets, Bianca might have been inclined to bang her head on the steering wheel. After her eyes rolled for the umpteenth time and Alyssa’s scolding reached it’s eighth minute, Bianca just couldn’t take it anymore. Interrupting the rant much like a wrecking ball going through drywall, she relented, “Okay! Fuck! I’m sorry, alright? I’m sorry.”

To her surprise, Alyssa actually remained quiet as she waited for her to go on. At this point Bianca expected there to be more to her bitching but it seems she was willing to listen to what Bianca had to say. After knowing the other woman for so long, Bianca knew the best and quickest solution would be to remedy the situation. Though in this case it felt like more like a bribe than anything else.

But either way it was the right thing to do and had she not needed Alyssa’s help anyway, she likely would have done something similar eventually. Allowing a decent amount of shame and guilt to tint her voice, Bianca offered, “Listen…Can I make it up to you, buy you another bottle or two? Maybe that fruity shit you like?”

She couldn’t remember the brand at the moment but she had no doubt Alyssa knew which wine she was referring to. Expensive, flashy, and hardly worth the cost in Bianca’s opinion but it’d be worth it to soothe Alyssa’s anger and get the information she desperately wanted. 

But almost expectantly, Alyssa was playing hardball. She countered with a very firm, “…Four bottles.”

“Four?!?” Bianca screamed out in disbelief. That shit is pricey. She could practically hear her bank account crying in protest already. Alyssa, however, remained stubborn and brought up once again, “Excuse you, bitch. Did you see how much y’all drank last night? I can tell you right now, it was a helluva lot more than four bottles worth!”

“Ugh, fine!” She conceded, along with a mental note that Raja owes her for this. “But you gotta answer my questions.”

Joyful and smug at having been promised her favorite drink, Alyssa was all too happy to assist Bianca with her dilemma. As the hostess, she did try remain somewhat level-headed throughout the evening, more so than her roommate, and was able to recall a few names that she thought she remembered seeing towards the end of the get-together.

Running through her list, Bianca noted, “Right…so I missed…Shangie, Violet, and…”

“Nina,” Alyssa supplied absently, undoubtedly doing something else more engaging as she talked with Bianca.

Dreading the answer, Bianca began, “Which-”

“West.”

“Oh, fuck me,” she muttered to herself. She could only imagine what kind of impression she left on one of her newest friends. There was a small hope that just maybe Nina wouldn’t remember any more of the night than she or Willam had…or at least that anything she might’ve done while drunk would not come back to haunt her later. After all, she really had hoped to get to know Nina better in the coming weeks and acting like a drunken, hot mess was not in her plan.

Breaking through Bianca’s wandering mind, Alyssa took to suspiciously asking her, “Now are you gonna tell me what this is about, Miss Thing?”

“Nope!” Bianca replied briskly, “Thanks, bye!”

“Bitch, my wine-”

“I’ll drop it off tomorrow,” she assured her and right as she ended the call, let out another teasing “Bye!”

As soon as she was sure she dropped the other line, Bianca let out a groan of frustration. If she knew she could keep it, she’d have promised herself anything that she’d never drink around friends again! But that’d be a very short-lived pledge and she knew it all too well. At least she got three more names she missed from Alyssa. Though she had a feeling that none of them were her mystery kisser.

Nina was far too tall, even if she were wearing flats that night, which seemed rather unlikely. As for Violet, Bianca couldn’t really see her getting drunk enough to make out with her and just vaguely she recalled seeing Violet with red lips earlier in the night…But Shangela…she was a possibility, though very unlikely.

As soon as Bianca got home, she confirmed that Shangie had been wearing green lipstick (thanks Instagram) but what kept Bianca from officially adding her to the list was simply because of Alyssa. 

Those two were close. 

And if Bianca had kissed Shangela, she doubted very much Alyssa would not already know about it, especially considering it would have happened in her house. So for now, Shangela will just remain in the back of her mind…Maybe if no one else pans out, she’ll reconsider but for now she has four other suspects to consider and first on her list is Dela.

Of the four, Dela seemed the most likely. Bianca had always felt comfortable and open around her. If something had happened between them last night, it would have just been for fun because of the stupid mistletoe. Bianca could see herself giving into Dela for a quick peck if she had bugged her long enough. After all, it was hard to say ‘no’ to someone so bubbly and friendly, particularly if she throws in one of those infectious smiles…Plus out of all the suspects that remained, she was probably the most sober and might actually remember what all had happened…not that that really said much with Bianca’s group of friends.

But following a short conversation with her that night, Bianca learned that Dela had actually gone home shortly after 2AM. Seems Jinkx had a little too much to drink so Dela took charge of ordering a Lyft ride for both of them. She actually made a quick joke that Jinkx was trying to kiss just about everyone she found near one of the clumps of mistletoe. One person that took her up on the offer was actually Willam, not that Bianca was much too surprised by that…Though now that she’s thought about it, that’s probably how Willam’s lipstick got smudged with red…

Well, one minor mystery solved. 

She thanked Dela for the information and crossed her off the list. They made plans to meet up well after the holidays but Bianca knew they’d probably see each sometime around New Year’s. Rumor had it that someone was thinking of hosting a party that night. Maybe Roxxxy, maybe not. But if not, they’ll probably find each other while bar-hopping.

For now, Bianca had to remove her from her mind and refocus on finding her mystery makeout partner. Her list already had two of the five original suspects crossed. Now who’s the next most likely? Bianca knew she’d have a chance to meet up Phi Phi in a few days, she could always ask her then but as for Trixie and Manila? Perhaps a text…or wait!

Bianca still had holiday gifts to deliver to her friends!

That was actually why she’d set up the dinner date with Phi Phi in the first place; to exchange gifts before Phi Phi left to go visit family across the country. Bianca could always use her delivery as an excuse to talk to the others…In fact, tomorrow would be perfect to visit Raja and Manila. She needs to pick up wine for Alyssa anyways, why not an extra bottle for Raja and then take it over to the couple?

And a little booze in her system might help soften the blow if Bianca had in fact kissed her girlfriend….

******

Dela: 🎶Guess who I just got a text from🎶

Mariah: Spill it baby!

Dela: Bianca…

Vanessa: Well?

Vanessa: Quit stalling and tell us the goss, girl! I got Netflix to binge!

Willam sat back and watched the conversation play out on the screen. Every so often she’d save a screenshot of a particularly hilarious comment or reaction.

‘For reference,’ she told herself. When the time comes to play all her cards.

*******

Unsurprisingly, the wine and spirits shop was quite busy when Bianca decided to drop in. Whether it was purely holiday related or just because it was after work and people wanted to get a head start on happy hour was left up to debate…probably a mix of both. Either way, Bianca had to dodge person after person in order to navigate the aisles, not to mention the occasional basket hitting her as someone unexpectedly backed up or rushed past her. But she was successful in locating both Alyssa’s overpriced shit and a suitable potential peace offering for Raja.

Right before dropping off the bottles at Alyssa’s house, Bianca made sure to text Raja and ask if both she and Manila were at home. It took nearly the entire length of her visit with Alyssa to get a response back (50 long, exhausting minutes thanks to Alyssa’s inane chatter and Laganja chiming in every now and then) but once she had her confirmation, she excused herself using the very true, if somewhat exaggerated, reason that she had other gifts to deliver tonight.

******

Manila: Three guesses who’s coming over!

Manila: she’s on her way now

Raja: We’ll keep you updated with all the juicy details 😜

Manila: 🙄

Raja: 😘😘😘😘

Sharon: Ugh. Get a fucking room

*******

Upon arriving at the girlfriends’ shared house, Bianca was greeted at the door by an immediate warm and a tad too tight hug from Manila. Not that this was anything unusual for the woman, she’d always been rather physical with her signs of affection. Raja welcomed her with a more brief embrace and relieved Bianca of the parcels she was carrying, particularly after spotting the wine bottle peeking out from the gift bag.

“You know me so well,” she complimented.

“Easiest person to shop for,” Bianca agreed. “Just pick up a bottle for you and a bottle for me.”

Once inside and settled down, Bianca let each of the women unwrap their real gifts as she watched and drank from the bottle Raja already had opened for the night. Raja’s present consisted of several odd little keys that they had found while out shopping together a few months ago. Each was unique, especially in regards to their handles. Immediately after spotting them, Raja had announced her desire to use the keys for some kind of new art project or perhaps even to make an accessory of some kind. She was entirely ready to purchase them on the spot except for one small detail; the antique store’s strict cash-only policy.

Raja just didn’t have enough cash on her at the time. Had she asked, Bianca certainly would have lent her the money that day but for whatever reason, Raja didn’t even seem to think of it. Perhaps she thought she’d just come back later and pick them up but it worked out better for Bianca either way. Shortly after departing Raja’s company, she circled back to buy the keys and only a day or two following that, she received a text from Raja complaining that the items were already gone from the shop.

The instant Raja recognized her gift, she let out an affectionate murmur of “Bitch” and pulled Bianca in for a proper hug. She fell into a distracted state, examining each one and undoubtedly forming a plan of what she wanted to do now that they were finally in her possession. Though she remained quiet and calm, Bianca could easily spot the sparkle in her eyes. The one she’d always get when she becomes absorbed in her artwork.

As Raja mulled over ideas, Bianca turned her attention back to Manila. She’d been planning Manila’s gift for quite awhile and took great pains in researching and finding just the right thing. 

Much earlier in the year, when the couple moved into their new house, one of Manila’s favorite bracelets broke. It had been a gift from Raja on their first anniversary; yellow gold twisted into a unique, almost braid-like appearance. Rubies accented some of the knots while diamond chips filled in the remainder.

Manila had been wearing the bracelet, as she did almost every other day, while the pair unpacked boxes and moved around their larger belongings. At some point during the process, the bracelet caught itself on a piece of furniture and one of the links snapped at its weakest point, sending a number of its neighboring pieces clattering to the floor. Manila had been heartbroken, she took it to the same jeweler it originally came from but the style had been discontinued several years prior; they had no additional links that could replace the broken one.

Knowing how much that bracelet meant to her, Bianca questioned a number of jewelry shops in both their city and others close by. After perhaps the tenth or eleventh call, she finally found someone who still retained a few extra links in their store’s repair department and with Raja’s help, she was able to sneak out the bracelet without Manila’s noticing. The work had been completed just three weeks prior and to both women’s amazement, Manila had yet to realize her bracelet was missing from her jewelry box.

But the instant she saw her prized bracelet gleaming back at her looking just like new, her eyes clouded with tears and she pulled in Bianca for another tight squeeze. She marveled at how amazing it looked, nothing could be seen to suggest it had ever been broken, and asked how she even managed to accomplish this. Bianca downplayed the effort, preferring not to get into too much detail but she made sure to cite Raja’s help as a main reason for why she’d been so successful in keeping this a secret.

In the end, she wasn’t sure how much Manila actually heard but that didn’t matter. All she cared about was that Manila loved her gift and if the stray tears falling down her cheek or admiring grin weren’t enough to convince her, the near bone-crunching hugs she kept receiving certainly got the point across.

They spent another hour or so chatting until the bottle of wine was nearly empty. It was only at this point that Bianca felt confident enough to ask the couple what they remembered of Alyssa’s party. Much to Bianca’s surprise they’d been a good bit more sober than she was but certain details seemed to have escaped them.

“So nothing exciting or, I don’t know, interesting, happened that you remember?” she probed, trying not to feel utterly let down or disappointed.

“Not really, it was pretty tame for us, all things considered,” Raja replied back with a fond, secretive smile before taking another sip. “No one got really wild or out of hand like we do on New Year’s. One of the few parties where no one even broke anything.”

“Right,” Bianca agreed slowly. She stalled for a moment then decided to try a subtle route one final time, “But you didn’t do anything after like, 2ish? That you can remember, I mean?”

Shrugging her shoulders, Raja wandered through her thoughts for a few seconds before recalling, “I was smoking with Laganja and Adore and that’s about it. Oh, and Alaska joined, too.”

“And I was talking with Nina and Phi Phi,” Manila chimed in. A considering look flashed across her face, as if she weren’t sure if were recalling the events correctly or not, but ultimately decided to mention, “…I think…you were with Shangela. Shangela and someone else. Maybe Katya?”

Perking back up, Bianca inquired earnestly, “Anything after that?”

The couple shared another perplexed glance with each other, like neither could entirely fill in the blanks, which was fair, but Bianca had a hope there still might be something they hadn’t mentioned yet. Unfortunately, as she soon found out, there was.

“We finished the joints and came back upstairs…,” Raja stated, taking another sip of her wine, and adding in, “I went off to find Manila and then…Adore and Laganja found you.”

Feeling her eyes roll out habit, Bianca let out an annoyed groan, “Ugh. Bet that conversation was thrilling. Glad I don’t remember that.”

Chuckling at the statement, Raja insisted, “You two were getting along, actually. You were all laughing at least. Adore put her feet in your lap at some point or tried to…I think you pushed them away and she fell off the couch.”

“Oh! And Alyssa caught Jinkx making out with someone!” Manila chirped away before breaking into a case of the giggles. “Dela took her home after that, I think.”

A reluctant smile stretched across Bianca’s lips but she couldn’t find it in her heart to be as amused by the situation as she normally would be. By now it was entirely clear that Bianca was fishing for information and that was a line of questioning she dreaded having to answer. Had the two not been privy to the group chat, they might have been more tactful…but in this case, they wanted to have a little fun too.

The pair exchanged a silent, meaningful look with one another as Bianca drained her glass and released a heavy sigh. Coming to a mutual agreement to pursue this further, Raja opted to be direct and ask outright why Bianca kept harping on the events of the party. Trying to remain aloof, Bianca didn’t answer the question right away. She played it off as a simple wondering of the party’s late night events.

No, as Raja anticipated, it took quite a bit of probing (as well as some gentle encouragement from Manila) before Bianca was ready to share anything…Though the copious amount of wine rushing through her system probably helped too. It was after draining one final glass that Bianca finally revealed some of the details of what she knew happened at the party…and who one of her potential suspects might be.

Raja laughed a little, because of course she would, and even Manila couldn’t help but to smile at the thought of just how off her reasoning was. Still, she did feel a bit of sympathy for Bianca’s confusion.

“And you’re sure I didn’t kiss you?”

Reaching over to take Bianca’s hand in hers, she assured her friend with a sympathetic smile, “Pretty sure, honey.”

This time the disappointment was clear on Bianca’s face but a small part of her was still skeptical. While it wouldn’t be ideal for her to have kissed one of her closest friend’s girlfriend, Bianca would have preferred Manila over her remaining suspects. It’d be a lot less messy after all.

As she tried to bring herself to accept this answer as it is, the couple next to her exchanged a few glances. It was the kind of nonverbal communication that only occurs between people that are exceptionally close, something Bianca was a little envious of. A darting of their eyes, a tilt to the head, a soft noise of questioning and finally a nod and grin of approval.

Bianca’s mind worked to unravel the meaning but in a second, it became clear. For just a few moments, her lips were connected with Manila’s and her eyes slid shut at the sensation. 

It was different from Willam’s, very different. 

Her tempo was relaxed and confident, so self-assured in what she was doing. It was almost like a meeting of the minds as they instantly fell into a matching pace…but there was absolutely no spark to it. If anything it was like each was just going through the motions and in some manner, that was even more of a let down than when she had kissed Willam. There had been some trace of passion or excitement with that kiss but here there was a stark lack of any emotions. Nothing like what she’d seen when Raja and Manila had kissed in front of her.

But that was just as well, she supposed. And now she had her answer for certain.

Pulling away, she conceded with a bittersweet smile, “Definitely not you.”

“Sorry, sweetie,” Manila murmured as she ran a consoling hand across Bianca’s back, “Hope you find out who it was, though.”

“Yeah…Me too.”

[bluestwitch]

That look in your eyes

Chapter 3. Welcome home, Harry

A/N. This is one of my favourite chapters. Wars are always terrible, but the aftermaths of them can be even worse. My headcanon about the post war situation never included a Harry rolling in Galleons, handing out first range brooms as birthday presents, or living in a great mansion. These characters are still trying to rebuild something that resembles a normal life and struggling to do so. But sometimes all you need is to be with someone you love (and a tin of broom polish can help ;-) )

2003

“That was a long night,” commented Ginny.

The two of them were back in bed, sitting comfortably against the pillows. “It was,” agreed Harry. “Which was a small miracle in itself, given our history of epic interruptions. Heck, Ron and George have even made a sport of keeping us apart!” he chuckled.

Ginny snorted. “Oh, that wasn’t a miracle. Didn’t I tell you? At two different times of that night, both Hermione and my mother went down the dormitories’ staircases looking for us. They saw us talking and put charms at the foot of the stairs so nobody could disturb us, then they went up again. They thought we deserved to be alone and sort things between us.”

Harry’s affection for Hermione and Molly rose several points. “Remind me to get them something extra nice for Christmas this year, from both of us.”

Ginny giggled. “Already taken care of,” and she dissolved in laughter again.

Harry sighed. This was getting ridiculous. “Did you swallow some kind of cheering potion earlier? What’s up with you giggling today? Look, I know you’ve had a rough season and I reckon you were fairly depressed when it ended. If… if you’re taking potions to treat it, why aren’t you telling me? Perking you up is part of my job description as a husband.” He winked at her.

If anything, this made Ginny laugh louder. At last, she managed to say: “Oh, Potter, you were only correct on one account. There’s nothing wrong with my moods and I’m not taking cheering potions. But don’t worry, you are fulfilling your job description perfectly.”

“You are driving me mad”, said Harry.

“Your patience will be rewarded. Now, why don’t you keep on telling me stories?”

“What am I, Scheherazade?” As Ginny only smiled and nodded, he gave up. “Oh, well. Next time you had that look…”

August 11th, 1998

“Harry? Harry, wake up!”

Harry was roused from his nightmare by two hands shaking his shoulders. He was sweating, disoriented, his heart was pounding, and it took him a while to recognize the surroundings, and remember why he was there and with who.

Ginny was looking at him full of concern. “Are you ok? You scared me, you were thrashing and suddenly you yelled.”

Harry did not answer immediately. He gazed at the sky, squinting at the sun. It was mid afternoon, and they were under the trees at the far side of the Burrow. He shrugged.

“I’m fine.”

“No, you are not. Do not dare to use the word ‘fine’ again with me when it’s clear that you’re not. Want to try again?” Ginny’s voice was severe.

Harry gaped at her. “You’re not one to beat around the bush, are you?”

He sat up on the blanket, recalling why he had fallen asleep under the trees in the middle of the day. Molly had enrolled Harry on a mission that consisted in keeping Ginny apart from the Burrow so she could prepare the party. Good moments had been scarce that summer so far, what with the grief and the task of rebuilding something that resembled normalcy. So Molly was determined to throw the big birthday party she thought her daughter deserved on her coming of age, as a sign that life went on.

But life did not go well. A few scattered Death Eaters remained at large, and every now and then they attacked random targets. They had been living under the Fidelius at Muriel’s until just a week ago, after the month they spent at Hogwarts, helping to recondition the castle. The Burrow had not been deemed safe enough to return until then. Grimmauld Place was out of question. Too much work was needed there and nobody could be spared to do it. He had asked Kreacher to help Andromeda instead. The elf had steadily refused to be freed so Harry had suggested it, a little sceptically at first. To everyone’s surprise, the arrangement was working out fairly well. Kreacher had been delighted of taking care of a Black descendant and if Teddy’s muggle, blood traitor and werewolf inheritance bothered him, he simply did not show it.

As Harry had feared, the goblins did not take well the breaking into Gringotts. He, Ron and Hermione were banned from the bank, and his vault was now withheld as bail. Neither Hermione or Ron were affected by this, the former because she had all his savings in Muggle money and the latter because he did not have a vault of his own to begin with, but Harry was effectively left as poor as a church mouse. Bill and Fleur, who had returned to work at the bank, had tried to negotiate with the goblins, with little success. They convinced them to stop pressing charges against Harry, Hermione and Ron -the wizarding society would have been in uproar if their heroes were treated as criminals-, but until compensations for repairs were sorted, none of them could set a foot inside Gringotts.

Kingsley had offered to intermediate, too, but they had refused. He had enough on his plate. The Aurors’ numbers were greatly depleted after the war, so he had been forced to run the office personally, in addition to his Minister duties. Members of the Order of Phoenix and Dumbledore’s Army had volunteered to help tracking down Death Eaters, and some of them proved themselves so good that they were offered positions as trainees, overlooking the lack of qualifications, which they could not have got anyway, due to the absence of a normal school year and exams.

That was the ultimate reason Harry was waking from a nightmare in broad daylight. He, Neville and Ron had spent the last two days on a stakeout at Upper Flagley, where rumours located a possible refuge for Nott and two accomplices. They had come out of it empty handed, physically tired and emotionally exhausted, because they had had to fight a group of DE mentors that lurked on a nearby forest. Kingsley had ordered the three trainees and Savage, the Auror in charge, to go home on a well-deserved three days’ break. Which suited Harry perfectly. He had not been able to see Ginny as much as he wanted and he missed her a lot. On the rare occasions they managed to be alone, it felt like being in an oasis amidst chaos.

“You haven’t slept this bad in a while, Harry,” she said.

“I know.” There was a permanent stock of Dreamless Sleep potion in the medicine cabinet of The Burrow, supplied by Molly -she had insisted on being called by her name, as had Arthur- and Hermione, who were the best hands at potions. Everybody was struggling and coped the best they could. Trouble was, the potion was supposed to be used sporadically, as it could be addictive. “I think I am going to use the potion tonight. I need to rest if I am going to work at Wheezes tomorrow.”

“Oh, I’m coming, too. Now that I’m of age, I can help, and George will need all hands on deck if he wants to reopen on Friday. But don’t sidetrack me. Ron told me you were sleeping better lately, so what happened?”

Harry looked at her, slightly amused. “You won’t drop the subject, would you?”

“We agreed to talk about everything that bothered us,” said Ginny.

It was true. After that long night in Gryffindor’s common room, they had found that confiding in each other worked out in favour of relief. Harry had never been one to share his feelings, but it was easier with Ginny. She knew when to prod him into speaking and when to listen patiently, and frequently offered wise insight, or silent support and a hug if she did not have any. For his part, he tried to do his best to reciprocate. He thought he was lousy at comforting and lacked time to reread what Twelve Fail-safe Ways to Charm Witches said on the matter, but Ginny seemed to appreciate his efforts.

Harry sighed. “Dementors, that’s what happened. I… I was dreaming of them closing over me. Yesterday, they- I couldn’t… Ron had to cover me. I had trouble casting a Patronus,” he said, not meeting her eye. “I hadn’t cast one since the battle, and back then I nearly couldn’t do it, too. I was embarrassed, and also I worried, what… what if-“

“You are afraid this means you have a weakness and could compromise your chance of becoming an Auror?” said Ginny, shrewdly.

She had hit the nail, again. Surprised, he nodded. “What if I can’t do it anymore, Gin? It’s always been hard for me to be near those bloody things, but now it’s even worse!” Harry felt agitated.

“Remus… he told me in my third year, they affected me more because bad things had happened to me. And now… I’ve been through still worse things since then and I’m having trouble to recall happy memories to make a strong Patronus. I can’t risk being a liability on the field,” he huffed, dropping himself on his back again. He ran his hands over his hair in frustration.

Ginny put a bookmark on his Charms book, closed it and laid down on the blanket at his side, pulling at the pillow he had used to nap so they could share it. She took his hand and squeezed it, but said nothing, looking immersed in thought.

“Did you know, George hasn’t been able to cast a Patronus since the Battle? He went on the Lestrange House raid with Williamson, and they found Dementors watching over prisoners in the cellar. George had to flee, he couldn’t do the charm. Apparently after that he has tried to cast it, to no avail. Hermione thinks there’s a possibility he never will. But…” she chewed her lip.

Harry got up on his elbows and looked at her. “What?”

“After the Chamber, when Dementors searched the Hogwarts Express, you fainted, remember? I didn’t, but it was pretty bad for me, too. It was bloody Riddle all over again, playing with my fears and insecurities. Two years later, when you taught Patronus at the DA, at first I thought, well, I don’t think I‘m powerful enough to do this, but I did! I had some solid happy memories worth a strong one. At the Battle, on the adrenaline rush, I met some Dementors and could have conjured not a horse, but a whole herd! Of course that was before Voldemort called his minions to retreat and I found about F-Fred.” She scrunched her face. “And before you disappeared and made me worry like crazy.” She shot him a reproachful look.

“And your point is…?”, asked Harry.

“I haven’t tried to cast one since then, so I’m not sure, but I bet you could do with some new nice memories you can hold onto,” she said.

Harry flopped on his back again, looking up at the trees above. “Fat chance of that. Life’s crap. We still don’t dare to go out in case some Death Tosser spots us and tries to kill us. Hermione has postponed going to Australia to find her parents until next summer because she thinks it’s not safe yet to return with them. We haven’t had a free day between Auror training, helping George and another million things; I can’t wait for those foreign volunteer Aurors Kingsley have recruited to begin work, I barely have time to go and see Teddy. And,” he hit the floor with the fist, frustrated, “I’m so broke I could only get you a tin of broom polish for your birthday.”

“Hey, I loved your gift!”, she protested. “It means a lot to me. I like the smell…” She said nothing else, but blushed to the roots of her hair.

Harry raised his head and watched her, amused and intrigued. “Weasley, your face is like the setting sun. What’s got to be with broom polish?”

If possible, Ginny’s face went redder. “It’s embarrassing. You will make fun of me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of. In any case, nothing wrong about a bit of fun,” he winked.

She sat up straight. Harry copied her and sat in front of her, waiting. Ginny hid her face behind her hands and murmured, “I smelled broom polish in the Amortentia at Slughorn’s class.”

Keep reading at https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13060709/3/That-look-in-your-eyes

[thebottomoftheapple]

Hello Again

Yes, it’s been over a year again.

I’m not going to stress myself but I do really want to write more. I feel like when I wrote more consistently, I was happier, overall. Or maybe I’m just really sad right now and have been for a while but it’s all just coming out now. I haven’t really cried like this honestly since maybe when I graduated, which I didn’t think was that bad. A few months earlier I think I cried even more when my “London Boyfriend” broke up with me (IDR if i ever mentioned him before but it’s too irrelevant at this point so). ANYWAY yes there’s a new boy involved too but I’m not sad because of him...I think..but i do think he brought out all of this.. or maybe he’s just the last person I wad with and everything’s finally catching up to me (We’ll talk about him later).

So I’m finally going to Atlanta. But let’s recap the last year first.

(I haven’t read my last post bc I cannot rn) Last year I was still freelancing at NowThis and was planning on leaving to ATL in the spring/summer... but then they offered me a full time job and I took it. I wouldn’t say I regret it because I did learn a lot and saved a good amount of money. But i would say it attributed to this stagnant discontent-ness that I’ve been masking by going on vacations, getting drinks and going out with friends, and talking to Milton. I haven’t fully felt like myself in a while and it sucks because I feel like I’ve personally regressed. Like being abroad, my summer in ATL and I suppose graduating were great high points for me. I was excited, eager, and for the most part fulfilled. Obviously, life wasn’t perfect back then but ever since being back home I feel like I’ve been pretending to be all those things I used to be.. with distractions. But now I’m FINALLY changing things up and doing what I think is best for me.. and I’m scared. It’s not just the fact that I’m leaving all my friends and family behind (which is much bigger than I thought it was), it’s also the fear of failure, of making the wrong choice, of making a good choice for right now but maybe not for the long term. I’m scared. Of being alone, of making mistakes. But I’m also excited (lol 😭) to just go. The sadness really hits when I’m up alone all night, like I literally feel helpless cause I’ve been doing this for too long. But hopefully this will go away once I get down there and I pray they’ll have work for me much sooner rather than later once I’m there. But because I have some family there it shouldn’t be too bad, right? I think I am really excited though, eager to start - yeah it’s the uncertainty too that’s wearing down on me. Once I start that first gig, I know everything will be sweet. I just have to be patient *sigh* but also fill up my time somehow. 🙄

Sooooo I guess I can go into Milton now... yes, that Milton 😂. It’s really crazy because I’m still unsure on how I exactly I feel, but I know I do really care about him. So it started when I went up to cuse for Mayfest weekend. Basically he invited me over to smoke and I was off the molly lmao so I was chattin’ about everything and anything when I was with him. He subtly tried to make moves but I was dismissing them because it’s Milton... and what happened early... But then he kissed me and I liked it and the rest is history... LOLJK but we’ve been talking since (I’ve concluded I only like to guys who don’t live near me bc......). In the beginning it was fun, good sex, and someone nice to talk to and if I’m being honest I never really saw him as someone I’d want to be with seriously, partially for shallow reasons but also we spent like a whole week together and by the end of it I felt like we were an old married couple, like we loved each other but didn’t like each other. And i thought I shouldn’t feel like this with someone I’m not even in a relationship with... but this weekend kinda felt like that again. Like I was cleaning up like I was his wife and he was just watching tv. But this time it felt a little more right, normal? Maybe I keep getting these inklings because they’re tapping into the future? or past? In another dimension?I don’t know, it’s weird. But he really opened up to me more than he has before (which has been a lot!) And I just tried to console him you know, but then I started crying in the middle of the night..... and after he left, I cried when he facetimed me, and I cried some more after I hung up. And I’m tearing up thinking about it now (UGH). But yeah now I really don’t know how to feel about him, since I’m leaving. It’ll probably be like how it was with every other boy, sad for a bit but then I’ll meet someone knew and pretty much forget about them. Or maybe we’ll get married in 10 years, who knows. I want to get a tarot card reading done (lmao that’s a random sidetrack). No but he’s actually really great like from all the boys I’ve talked to, he’s been the most genuine and that’s something I’ve always wanted and whether it’s with me or not, I truly do wish him the best in the future.

And so speaking of this weekend, I had my goodbye party 😂It wasn’t what I pictured it to be like but I still think it was successful. The whole thing went by super quick for me because I was too busy making sure everything was going right: with the decorations, and the food, and DJ, and pictures, and money and wristbands, and just making sure everyone was having a good time. I was def overwhelmed but I think everyone had a good time. I got lit and had fun so that’s all I could ask for (except for it being cheaper ughhhhh but whatever it’s over now, I’m never doing that again until I’m big ballin’ then YES). Turnout could’ve been a little better toooo lol but I think that sums up how many and who really fucks with me so it’s fitting 😌My squadrin got me an amazingggg care package with polaroids, snacks, other things I love, and handwritten letters 😢, which I haven brought myself to read yet. But they are so amazing, literally the best people ever, all things considered, they are the best! And then I spent the next couple nights with Milton, where he gave me a super sweet gift as well! A gopro type of camera, ugh he’s so sweet. 

And now the party and party planning is over and there’s nothing left but to leave (and Max & Nat’s Bday party). So I’m here, home alone, sad lmao and i hit my fucked up nail again and now it’s hanging on for dear life and IDK what to do, I’m so upsetttttt lmaooo this would happen to me, Karen put this omen on me smh. ANYWAY I’m glad I decided to write again. I do feel better, just like I did before. I want to continue writing, maybe monthly. And to help me do this I’m going to set monthly goal(s). For January I’ll be lite:

Throw my going away party (done lol)

Drive down to Tio Edwin’s house

Work on my first of many projects in ATL

I’ll let you know how everything goes next month! (or sooner 😉)

- XOXO KIKIPALMTREE

[mrsteveecook]

my employees finish my sentences, my interviewer left me alone while she ran errands, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My employees finish my sentences

I’m a manager to a team of four at a mid-sized marketing agency. For the most part, my team is great — they’re dependable, intelligent, and they genuinely care about the work we’re doing. My problem is that I have a couple employees who constantly finish my sentences when I’m explaining something to them — be it a task, giving them guidance on how to handle a particular situation, or even when I’m providing training. I think this stems from them wanting to seem engaged in the conversation, and also to show they’re comprehension of the topic. But sometimes what they say is wrong, or not relevant. It’s distracting for me in the moment, and it causes them to not fully hear or process the information I’m providing — proven by missteps they make in the future. I don’t want them to feel like our interactions are one-way only, so I’ve tried nicely saying “hold on, let me finish,” but that hasn’t worked. Do you have a suggestion for how to handle this?

I think you’re exactly right on where it’s coming from — it’s an effort to seem engaged and show you they’re on top of things. And you’re also right to want them to stop doing it, for all the reasons you say.

With something like this, it’s fine to initially try to use conversational cues to make your point, but when that hasn’t worked, you’ve got to get more direct. (I note that because I want to stress that you really don’t have to go straight to “super direct” right away in every situation; often softer cues will get the job done. But once you see they’re not, it’s time to be more explicit.)

In this case, the next time one of them does it in private (i.e., not in front of other people), finish what you’re saying so that you don’t get sidetracked … but then say this: “I noticed you cut in and finished my sentence when I was telling you X. I don’t know if you realize but you do that a lot. I appreciate that you’re engaged in the conversation — that’s great — but I want you to let me finish what I’m saying before you jump in. Sometimes what you think I’m about to say actually isn’t what I’m about to say, and that takes us both off-course.” You could add, “I know this can be an ingrained habit and so I don’t want you to be mortified if it slips out a few more times before you notice, but I do want you to try to be more aware of it and work on not doing that.”

2. Working for a boss with a bad reputation

Do you have any advice for working for a boss who does not not have a good reputation? Although I have found my own way to work with my supervisor, I have heard from many around the office that he is quite difficult to work with. I have seen it play out, have even experienced it myself, and sympathize with those affected. I’m not sure how to reconcile this on my end however. I suppose I should mention here that my supervisor does like working with me, but I’m growing uneasy over the warpath he tends to leave for others. I’m concerned that I run the risk of becoming guilty by association by working with him and I’m not sure what my place is when interacting with colleagues who are on the receiving end. Is there any way that this could harm any potential networking or future opportunities once I decide to leave?

People’s default is usually to have sympathy for someone working for a difficult person, but that can change if you’re seen as close to him or if you appear to be “carrying his water” — if you’re stuck being the face of some of his actions, or if you have to deliver messages or take actions that reflect poorly on you even though they’re coming from him.

There’s also an opportunity cost: If people don’t like or respect your boss, he’s not likely to have the type of relationships where he can promote your work to others or help you make connections with people or where his recommendation of you in the future will carry the same weight as if people liked him.

That doesn’t mean it’s doomed to be a disaster. Plenty of people work for difficult bosses with difficult reputations and come out of it just fine. And sometimes the trade-offs of the job make it worth it. But it’s usually not without some sort of price. (Also, the type of job you’re in really matters. If you’re his deputy and need to manage people and projects on his behalf, it’s going to be much harder to do your job with integrity than if you’re a bit more removed.)

3. My interviewer left me alone to run the office while she ran errands

I had an interview recently for a receptionist-type position at a chiropractor’s office. The interviewer let me know earlier in the day that it would be a working interview, which I had no experience with, but it sounded kind of fun so I was down for it.

The first hour and a half or so went normally — she spent about half an hour asking questions, and then an hour showing me the basics of how the office operates. I actually thought that was the “working” part of it, and that we would be wrapping up soon. But then she told me that she would be leaving the office and coming back in about an hour, leaving me to run it alone, and that she was sure I would do great. In my surprise, I pretty much just smiled and nodded.

It wasn’t a disaster or anything — I only had to check in and collect payment from a couple of patients, and there was a chiropractic employee there who was able to answer my questions when he wasn’t with a patient. I mostly just sat and scrolled on my phone for an hour, plus took out some trash like the interviewer asked me to (which was within the job duties for the position, so I think maybe she was testing to make sure I was okay with cleaning). When she called a little over an hour later to say that she would be late getting back, and that I could either take off if I wanted or wait for her to get back and talk more then, I politely took myself out of the running for the job and left, leaving a note for the chiropractor like she instructed.

I have nothing against her, because she was very nice. But is this normal, or good practice? She didn’t go over any privacy requirements or anything with me, even though I was dealing with patients’ PHI, and she left the office’s cash, files, billing information, etc. completely in my hands. The whole thing left me confused and slightly annoyed.

Not normal, and terrible practice. You named some of the reasons for that (patient privacy, cash control, no training, etc.), but she also illegally took advantage of you by getting you to do free work for part of the day!

At a minimum this office is incredibly unprofessional and out of touch with any normal standards for hiring. But I’d bet it goes further than that and, had you taken a job there, you would have found a cesspool of dysfunction.

4. Should I say something about my boss’s lies?

I oftentimes hear (or overhear) my boss lying to my “grandboss.” Should I say something? It’s not so major (like stealing) but it’s not white lies either. For example, sometimes my grandboss will ask about a mistake that was made. I know my boss made the mistake. But to deflect blame, my boss will put the blame on someone else (not me) or give some other false/misleading answer. Should I say something in these kinds of scenarios? Or just let it go?

Openly calling your boss out on her lies to her own boss is likely to cause a ton of tension between you and your boss, or worse, and I’d be particularly wary of doing that with someone who has shown she lacks ethics.

But there may be subtler ways to do it where you correct the information without making it obvious that you know she was lying. Like if you’re talking with both of them and your boss says Bob’s the one who made a mistake, you could say, “Oh, actually, he didn’t work on this — we didn’t catch it at the proofing stage.” That’s not as direct as saying “It was actually your mistake” — it’s using “we” to mean “our team” rather than directly calling out your boss. And it may still allow her to deflect blame, but it’s going to make it more awkward for her to do that (and may signal to your grandboss that she should do more probing).

That’s not a perfect solution and you won’t be able to do it every time (and you can’t do it at all with conversations you overhear, just ones you’re part of). The bigger action item for you here is to take this as a huge indictment of your manager’s integrity, and factor that into your thinking going forward.

(The exception to all of the above is if you have an excellent relationship with your grandboss and she has a track record of handling info like this with skill and discretion, in which case you could give her a discreet heads-up about the pattern.)

5. Explaining why I’m leaving my own business for a traditional job again

I left my job as a marketing director two years ago because I wanted to go into business for myself and work from home. I’ve been doing consulting work through a company I started (though it’s just myself and one other person) since then. However, it turns out I’m not very good at sales and getting business, so I haven’t been as successful as I’d hoped, and now I’m applying for corporate jobs again because frankly, I really need the income.

How do I address this when asked why I’m now looking for a new position? “My business failed because I wasn’t good at getting business (even though I’m a marketer!) and I really need the money” is the truth but clearly not a good interview answer. How would you answer this?

“I realized that running my own business wasn’t for me and I’d rather be working with a team.” You could add, “where I can focus on X and not need to spend so much time generating sales.”

This is a really common situation, and interviewers will have seen it a ton of times before. It’s not going to reflect badly on you that you’re not sticking with the business — you tried it, you liked it, it wasn’t for you, and now you’re quite logically returning to traditional employment. (If anything, it may even be a plus that you’ll have gotten it out of your system and realize now that you want a more traditional employment relationship. Sometimes there’s a certain … professional maturity? that comes from that.)

You may also like:

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my employees finish my sentences, my interviewer left me alone while she ran errands, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

from Ask a Manager http://bit.ly/2MzsZZD

[yukithesnowman314]

Chapter 1

Visual Novels (Part 1)

  Anime Weekend Atlanta (AWA) left me starving. Starving for more.  More networking opportunity. More ways to get my name out there. More ways to improve myself. On the final day of the convention, my crew and I went to smoke a blunt on our hotel’s garage parking rooftop before leaving our city for an eight-hour trip back home to St. Louis.  As we smoked, we spoke about our successes and “failures”. Wins and losses.  Triumphs and disappointments.  Out of my team, I had the most wins; since I set my sights to hit the majority of my goals (such as making money bartending at a friend’s room party, networking with people within the industry, etc.).

They congratulated me for success and were happy for me. But I wasn’t.

Sure, I hit a few goals. I went out and did what I was supposed to do build my brand. You’re not supposed to be praised for doing your job like everyone else.  I wasn’t happy that I didn’t do more. I was disappointed at myself for allowing myself to get sidetracked and play myself. However, these disappointments, combined with my success started to fire me up.   Disappointment turned into desire.  Desire turned into drive.  Drive turned into action and planning.

For once in my life, I was excited to go back home after a vacation.  I needed to go back so I could plan out the next year con season, write about my adventures. And of course, work my ass off for the next con season and come back completely dominating it.

Anime Weekend Atlanta left me starving.

On Friday, I went to a panel that caught my attention weeks prior: “Whatever Happened to Visual Novel Anime?”.  I have a slight interest in the genre and was wondering why visual novels and anime based on the niche have been on the decline for the past 3-7 years.  I went; seeking knowledge from somebody who was much wiser than myself.

The panel started.  The host introduced himself, spoke about his passion for visual novels ,and revealed an amazing fact about himself: The panelist – Chris Adamson  –  is a writer  for Anime News Network.

I had to network with him; no matter what.

Note to self: Let the camera autofocus before snapping a pic.

I was in awe by the deep knowledge Chris dropped on us about the history of visual novels anime and why they were not as popular as they were back in the 2000s. The answers were “simple”, yet layered with complex facts.  The facts included the following: the lack of effort and innovation from VN creators. Long-time fans losing interest. Animators struggling to add every minor detail form the visual novels into the anime version. There were also the lack of sales of products relating to the anime and visual novels.

Chris broke down every little detail with graphs, pictures, videos, audio, cited sources, sales figures, you name it.  He was armed and prepared to attack us with knowledge and education. Clearly, he studied this genre with depth.  Clearly, he was passionate about visual novels and wants it to see it recover from its slump.

At the end of the panel, he left the floor open for questions.  I shoot my hand up high in the air before anyone else (if you’re ain’t first your last) and asked him this question:

Do you think there will a renaissance of visual novels and anime based on anime, and if they the VN industry does crash, do you see it rising from its ashes?

I’ve since forgotten most of Chris’s reply (thanks to smoking weed all weekend and being an idiot for not recording the panel), but he brought up an interesting point: He does believe that visual novels could come back, thanks to the success of the American visual novel Doki Doki Literature Club (DDLC) with its innovating meta-narrative (he even suggests that a DDLC anime could work through streaming services with Monika going through your watch history, fucking with the audio/video, etc.). Chris also mentioned that with more Americans entering the VN fray that could lead to the niche revival from a Western’s standpoint.

After the panel, I was completely floored and astonished by his wisdom.  I had to network with him.  Deep down in me, there was a fire building up.  The fire of craving more knowledge. There were other guys with me who also had that fire in them. Out of the 20-30 people in attendance, only five of us stay after the panel (to speak with Chris).  Two were working on their own visual novels, two were fans of the genre and also hungry for more knowledge, and of course, me; who was moved by this.

As we were finishing talking, a Yuri and Natsuki (DDLC) cosplayers walked past us. We all smiled as we were just talking about DDLC earlier.  I smiled even harder; as it got me excited to rock my Monika genderswap cosplay the next morning on Day 3.

And by the next morning, I mean I decided to have shots of rum for breakfast and plotted to wear my “No Coonin’!” shirt to The People of Color (I fucking hate how black people us that term as a black man) Photoshoot in hopes of offending any self-hating Uncle Toms/Coons/Nergo Bed Wench nigga nerds with it at the shoot instead of cosplaying as Monika at the shoot.

Which,  said plot was used against me.

Coon train is coming!

I arrived at the shoot. Since it was a multi-media shoot, the host had people take group photos by genre (movies, anime, comics, etc.). Of course, you had cosplayers from comics, video games, and anime. Mainstream shit.   However, nobody was cosplaying from any visual novels series (a testament of the decline of interest towards visual novels).  I was sad and angry. Sad because there aren’t many Black nerds who are into visual novels.  Angry at myself for deciding to (unsuccessfully) troll people with my shirt and not going to the shoot with wearing my Monika cosplay.

This is me being utterly arrogant, but I don’t give a shit: If I would have gone with that Monika cosplay, I would have been the only Black cosplayer in that group doing a visual novel character cosplay.  Is Doki Doki Literature Club a normie tier meme visual novel?  Yes.  But it’s still a visual novel.  And I would have earned that honor and respect of doing something out of the norm. A black man. Doing a gendswap cosplay. Of a visual novel character. A piece of media which black people don’t really fuck with.

I could have spoken good game about the visual novel niche and get my fellow Black nerds hip on it.  I could have introduced people who never played a VN before into a new world; which in turn could have gotten people into playing them.

But I’m a fucking idiot.

(By the way, there’s going to be more of my arrogance later.  Please leave if you’re offended by people having pride in themselves and their passion).

From The POC Cosplayer Shoot

From The POC Cosplayer Shoot

From The POC Cosplayer Shoot

From The POC Cosplayer Shoot

From The POC Cosplayer Shoot

From The POC Cosplayer Shoot

From The POC Cosplayer Shoot

I left the POC shoot and decided to take a few pics inside the convention center.   As I’m wandering around I spot a black woman wearing a shrine maiden outfit.  Red pants, disconnected sleeves, white top, and purple hair.  For a split second, I thought she was cosplaying as the PC98 era Reimu from Touhou (Highly Responsive to Prayers, Lotus Land Story, etc.) and I was smiling from ear-to-ear at the “fact” that there was a black woman cosplaying as the old-school version of Red Sanae.

Upon further inspection, she wasn’t wearing Reimu’s trademark red bow, but rather black horns with cracks in them.

Wait, is she cosplaying as Hanyuu from Higurashi I asked myself.

I poked her on her shoulder and asked.  She smiled and I started to geeked out.   Somebody still has love for Higurashi and is cosplaying at the con; (to my knowledge) she was the only Higurashi cosplayer at the con. Either way, I was just fucking happy to see somebody cosplay as a character from one of my favorite visual novel anime series.

I took her picture of course and told her that her cosplay was lovely.  My only regret is that I didn’t tell her  I appreciate her for cosplay as a Higurashi character and that it made me want to do a When They Cry cosplay again (I used to cosplay as Goat Butler from Umineko for a while).  I should had left my friends behind and let them go back to the hotel while I chopped up some game with the woman.

It’s funny because days prior to AWA, I had two When They Cry related dreams.   The first dream was of me at Anime Weekend Atlanta.  I was cosplaying as a genderswap Bernkastel, but I got kicked out from the con for being too drunk  (Bernkastel drinks wine and gets drunk so I had to play the role you know even in my dreams),  not wearing my badge, and telling con staff that I don’t give a fuck about having a badge.

The second one was of me at Anime Expo. I was wearing a way better version of my Goat Bulter cosplay. As I was walking out and about there was a group of Umineko cosplayers. A Bernkastel cosplayer spotted me and asked if I wanted to join them for a few photos, which I agreed to.

And then I woked up.

The Hanyuu cosplayer.

Back to reality.  I marched back to my hotel.  I started listening to an interview with Tim Grover (author of Relentless, the trainer of Basketball icons such as Kobe Byrant, Dwayne Wade, and  Micheal Jordan). I was trying to think of a plan as I prep for my Monika cosplay.  I was overanalyzing and overthinking.  I remember in the first chapter of  Relentless Grover stated the best don’t think,

They act. On instinct.  And let their instincts do the work.

From that thought, I turned off the interview and started to listen to Saiyan Pride from Dragon Ball Super on repeat.  The echoing piano notes.  The percussion building up to the arrival the horns, strings, and bells.  I was entering my Zone.  I was inviting my Dark Side to do the work. Tunnel vision and laser focus.

I wasn’t going to allow myself to fuck up further.

I’m going to win. I said to myself.

(Continued in Chapter 2)

WHERE I COPPED THE “No Coonin’!” SHIRT: https://shop.spreadshirt.com/theunapologeticblackman/

I’m Starving (Or How Anime Weekend Atlanta Left Me Wanting More) Chapter 1 Visual Novels (Part 1) Anime Weekend Atlanta (AWA) left me starving. Starving for more.  More networking opportunity.