#i think I'll call her Doof

[coolemyasi]

I almost cried when I went to Build a Bear earlier, I had no idea they'd finally fulfilled my dreams

[pb-dot]

Just gushing about Fury Road

Every once in a while, I'll go about my day as usual until a thought takes hold. How fucking amazing was Mad Max: Fury Road and that'll be all I can think about for a sizeable part of that day.

Like, where do I even start with this damn thing? It's such a uniquely good action movie in ways that contemporary filmmaking had just about forgotten about when it came out, and really hasn't picked up since. Shall we start with the incredible nightmare logic opening sequence? How we're simultaneously exploring Max' tortured psyche and the fucked-up reality he inhabits and does it so masterfully that you instinctively just get it, and all that before the title card?

Oh, I know, we could talk about how this isn't even a movie about Max, except in "and this one time, Max got involved in the story of this other cool character" with Charlize Theron's Furiosa. Here's a lady who does many things.

AND

EVERY

SINGLE

ONE

OF

THEM

ARE

SO

COOL

The point can hardly be overstated how hard Theron rocks in this movie. She plays both cool and collected professional and absolutely furious feral badass with aplomb, and let's not forget how expertly the moments of weakness and fatigue are weaved into what few quiet moments can be found, giving her this acutely human feel to her despite her frequent near-impossible acts of badassery.

It's seriously one of my favorite pieces of action acting ever, to the degree that it crowds out the many impressive setpieces and insane stunts in this absolutely bonkers 2-hour chase scene in my memory.

That isn't to say this is a one-woman show of course, and the side dishes are plenty tasty as well. There is the aforementioned action movie goodness, Nicholas Hoult playing a genuinely heart-wrenching reformed bad guy, Tom Hardy's understated "just trying to survive this mess"-Max, and that's not even getting into the scathing critique of "macho culture," and authoritarianism. All this in a movie where a supporting character is called Rictus Erectus and a flamethrower guitar-shredding madman on a truck full of speakers features prominently.

Doof Warrior my beloved!

All of this, I think, is to say that the movie is a master class in how to be profound by being unashamedly stupid. Yeah, the basic thesis of "toxic masculinity destroyed the world, let's fight the patriarchy" is neither subtle nor particularly nuanced, but Fury Road is not intending to be either of those things. Mad Max: Fury Road instead roars with years of suppressed rage and drives a souped-up post-apocalyptic big rig into it all, setting off a glorious multi-stage gasoline explosion which it narrowly escapes with only a few singed strands of hair. It's not subtle, but there's no arguing it's not effective.

So yeah. If you haven't seen it in a while, maybe a rewatch is in order?

[faelune-home]

FFXIVWrite 2024 #20: Duel

(A/n: Oh hey, I finally did another role questline that wasn't the magic one aha. Just a brief one of Estinien having to deal with Landenel the doof.

And I do mean brief, I'm glad I didn't end up close to 2k on one of these again, cos I keep thinking these should be beefier to account for the rewrites and new perspectives, but also...a lot of writing. I'll need to get used to just embracing these briefer interactions, they're still valid for adding dynamics here.

This technically also skips ahead part of the melee quest where they initially try to negociate with the Sahagins being turned, but part of me wanted to get to interacting with the CoH for Estinien enrichment lol. I can always backtrack to the Sahagin moment later.

Word count: 695)

They had their ragtag group of retired mercs ready to begin their respective duties into dealing with the threats of the blasphemy and the Leviathan summoning. Estinien himself had been placed with the blasphemy hunters due to his own skill set, as well as an aside from Fhara and Wheiskaet that the group could do with an extra eye to mind them.

Fhara herself was prepared to join the reconnaissance team until a call from elsewhere meant she had to leave them to it.

As it was then for the main combat force, they were all left waiting for orders. And for Landenel and Brayflox, that meant training.

Brayflox was already an interesting one, having made it clear she was better suited with her explosives, but even she had a stubby little short sword in hand to practise moves and take swipes at a rusted bucket for her practice. Not much Estinien could offer for assistance.

Landenel had already made himself known as a showboater eager to sink his teeth into the action, but for all his boasting of bloodthirst and desiring battle, his jabs against the training dummy betrayed his deterioration. His stance was that of a classically trained Gridanian lancer, but he was slow and sluggish, clearly far too used to manning a station that never saw any real danger.

As though sensing Estinien’s eyes upon him and the mental critique going through his mind, Landenel stood up straight and leaned upon his lance, casting a sharp look at him.

“Something you wish to say, ser? You look like you have much on your mind,” he asked, tone notably barbed.

“Just minding your training, seeing if there’s anything I could offer. If you’re willing to take it,” Estinien said carefully, not wanting to provoke a fight when they were supposed to be allies. Getting injured before they were needed wouldn’t help either.

“Well, if you’re offering, why not a duel?” Landenel smirked, “After all, as you can no doubt tell, I’m rather rusty here. And you’re clearly a veteran that’s stayed on top of his skills.”

“I’d rather not, not yet at least,” Estinien responded, folding his arms, “Better to get you back up to speed before we try anything like that. If you get injured, you won’t be much use to the cause.”

That remark only caused the other's smirk to deepen into a scowl.

“You’re incapable of holding back? Or do you think me so out of practice that I couldn’t hold my own?”

“It's better for you to build up your strength against a peer of similar skill level. Such as Lady Brayflox here,” Estinien countered, gesturing with a nod to the goblin, who had stepped away from her bucket to watch their conversation. She did a little dance upon acknowledgement.

“Pshhhhh… Shkohhh… Yes! Brayflox help Landenel with stamina! Use bang boom sticks to help go zip zap to avoid danger!”

Landenel’s grimace was a picture.

“Absolutely not. I’d be better off hiking all the way back to Gridania and putting in a training request with the Wood Wailers.”

“But you can’t do that because then you betray that you’ve let yourself slip while you were meant to be on guard duty,” Estinien said, already noticing the pinched expression on the other man as he called his character exactly.

“In mine own defence, Camp Tranquil is rather appropriately named,” Landenel grumbled beneath his breath. Estinien ignored his statement and marched up, lighting kicking the supporting lance from under him. It wasn’t enough to send Landenel sprawling to the ground, but it made him stumble, having to catch himself on Estinien’s armour, though he quickly righted himself again, shooting a glare back.

“I wouldn’t duel with you, but I can give you some tips. It’s still up to you to keep up with your training. We need to be ready for the first call to battle, and it could happen a sennight from now or it could happen within the next bell.”

Landenel scowled once more, glare darkening further. Then he nodded stiffly, expression morphing into that cocky smirk once more.

“Then let’s get started. Wouldn't want to be caught unawares.”

[mdpikachu]

I’d love to hear more about Mephistopheles’s friendship with Sakata Kintoki. I’ve never considered that dynamic before.

borrowing daku's art bc i dont think i've drawn them together but. also i write mephi, daku writes taro.

Friendship summary: Local area man meets a clown and immediately gets the clown's name wrong (and calls him Moose for short). Said clown decides this is hilarious and sticks around to see what other dumb things happen. here's a readmore

Mephi's plan failed within ten minutes. Oops! Shared interests! (golden bear, dozing bombs. machinery. also, safety but that came later) That, and while Mephi intended to just lie to Kintaro constantly about mundane goofy things, this also failed. Mephi has the majority of the brain cells between them (usually), which is funny because you'd think the clown would be the idiot.

Taro's the doof supreme (affectionate) brawn, Moose is the nerd (affectionate) brain. Together they make an actual team bc Mephi's good at strategic planning/traps (witchcraft/bombs) and Kintoki hits like a truck and has an easy escape option (golden bear).

I'll make it a decent format instead of name: dialogue bc that's a slog. Kintaro was initially based on just info from the JP server and tl'd dialogue so he's a lil dumber than canon sorry about that. mephi is never wrong bc im never wrong (<- was violently wrong about a bit of faust lore thats critically important to mephistos character. oopsy. tfw u suggest mephi lying about killing faust and then reread the interlude after introducing ghost faust DERAILED, MOVING ON)

----

(Scene opens with Kintaro's Master with his head in the sofa, avoiding human contact. Overstimulated. too many guests. Mephi's Master isn't present at the moment.)

Pointing at this was Mephisto, who had returned to be unnecessarily difficult.

"Wow, it's a wild sofa ostrich! I've never seen one in the wild before!"

"Hey, hey! He's no stupid ostrich, youuuu…. er….." Kintaro trailed off, staring at Mephisto. He wasn't actually sure what he was looking at.

"I'll wait!" Mephisto announced, pulling his legs off the ground to sit cross-legged in midair. His tails wagged slowly as he watched Kintato go through a variety of facial expressions while thinking.

"You trapeze artist!" Kintaro shot back well over a minute later, "That's what that get-up is supposed to be, ain't it?!"

Mephi grins and holds up two fingers. "Nope! Two tries!"

Kintaro "Ehhh"d for a moment, before announcing that he needed a hint. Lancer Elizabeth was standing nearby, rolling her eyes in disbelief. Even she wasn't this stupid! She had no right to judge, though, having attempted to sing on the roof to the new neighbors.

Mephisto gave Kintaro a big grin before tapping one of the horns on his hat as his hint. This man could probably guess a demon, or an oni, or--

"Oh, a deer!" Kintaro guessed confidently, and completely incorrectly.

Mephisto put a finger down. One guess remaining!

"Wait, wait, wait! Wait! I know! I know!"

Mephisto sat back in the air and waited for Kintaro to excitedly make his hypothesis known.

"You're a moose!" Kintaro announced, throwing his hands up, "I love meeses!" ---- (Mephisto broke out laughing before correcting Kintaro with more info than anyone else got. The trust was Instant. kintaro also wants to get piledriven by a moose, takes 10 dmg from mephi giving it an actual shot in the backyard, and then proceeds to get evaded by mephi like 4 times. eventually a bomb blew up, ash-facing both of them. scene ends with this. skipped him giving mephi a helmet and mephi accepting it. we also joked that this was a ship but its a friendship. mephis master does nothing to stop any of this, and neither does taro's.) Kintaro: [he picks up Mephisto] We're going to go on a drive! A drive into your heart! If no one else is going to befriend you, I am, Moose! Our friendship will be golden!! (other dumb shit they did together: clothes shopping (safety on bikes!), use an ouija board (mephi hated every second of it), i know theyve fought together at least twice, i dont remember what else. theres like 25 documents of this nonsense i dont remember shite. im not putting this in the tag i say putting it in the t)

[lesbeamofsunshine]

i had this dream set in the Phineas and Ferb universe about 5 years after the events of the show (so Phineas and Ferb were middle school age and Candace was in college) and they had a little ~4 year old sister named Melissa or Melanie or something (I think my brain supplied both her name and appearance from the character of Melissa in Milo Murphy's Law, which is also set in the Phineas and Ferb universe. I'll call my dream character Melanie) and much like her older brothers being prodigies of engineering, Melanie was a prodigy of science and this new show about her followed her adventures in conducting science experiments with her home science kits and family vacations as field research. she also had an exotic pet, a little baby flamingo or something, and although it was not a secret agent I think Melanie knew that Perry was a secret agent and for some reason she spent time with Doofenshmirtz occasionally and Doof would ask if she was absolutely sure her flamingo wasn't a secret agent and Melanie's catchphrase about her pet was "she's a flamingo, they don't do a whole lot."

so yeah it was her adventures in science in tandem with being the little sister of Phineas, Ferb, and Candace (Candace WAS there, she AND Jeremy were able to live at home while going to college bc they both went to Danville U). the biggest conflicts were her fear of the raccoons and stray cats that had taken up residence in their garage (idk, it was a dream after all) and her beef with Baljeet bc he didn't like to lend her his own home science kits and she envied them with the burning jealousy only a 4 year old can have.

so anyway that was the dream, uhhhhhh does anyone know Dan Povenmire and/or Swampy Marsh's direct phone numbers? I have something I need to pitch to them

[ninjastormhawkkat]

Do you have more ideas for the Doof AU I would like to hear about Steven Boxlitener being a Doofensmirz like villain

When I saw the image edits made by @djsadbean @hibiscus-candy and @drtwobrains of villain Steven Boxleitner, I just kind of pictured villain Steven to be more like Dr. Doofenshmirtz since he isn't force by a vicious lab mouse attached to his brain to commit cheese crimes rather he does criminal acts on his own will. I remember @kurixta and their swap au where Steven was a dangerous villain and the opposite of his canon character. I decided in my head that if Steven were a villain, I would think he keeps most of his canon personality before the accident. He would be evil, but not dark evil but more of a Saturday cartoon villain evil. I just kinda pictured Steven to be evil but fun loving as well. For example someone might see Steven on the street greet them with a friendly hello and then the next day see Steven on the news robbing the bank. I decided that Steven can have a doofenshmirtz personality where they are evil but also fun loving. The villain Steve au I had in my head, or Doof Au as you call it, was not entirely a definitive and thought out idea, it was just something that would be fun to think about based on all the edits I have seen. If I were to make it a thought out au, it would most likely be a Becky Boxleitner au since Heinz Doofenshmirtz is a dad in Phineas and Ferb.

For a few headcanons on this au:

Steven is a good dad like Doof but also an evil scientist whose main goal is to TAKE OVER THE ENTIRE TRI-STATE (*cough*) i meant the ENTIRE FAIR CITY AREA! Steven as a villain would not be as evil as Dr. Two Brains, he wouldn't kill anyone (unless they harm his child).

Steven would be a chaotic and eccentric evil. Just imagine Steven doing Doof's intro's when he is introducing his latest gadget.

I also picture Steven trying to act dark and menacing but when he sees one picture of his kid or something adorable, he is just a gushing and doting mess. Note: Man is still weak against Becky's puppy dog eyes. I also can see Steven turn around in a chair to face the hero while petting Squeaky, trying to appear all menacingly, then freak out when Squeaky bites him on the finger.

I don't know if I will still have Wordgirl as the main hero or make an amazing cheese ship out of this au. But one funny thing I picture is like when Doof doesn't recognize Perry without his fedora, Steven doesn't picture Becky as Wordgirl when she takes her helmet off.

Steven: Now Wordgirl get ready to face your doom with my super potent goop ray😈... (Becky takes her helmet off)...😨BECKY, honey, what are you doing tied up in that chair where Wordgirl was? Don't worry sweetheart, I'll get you out and then search for Wordgirl with my goop ray.

[dudeandduchess]

Imma bug your sweet, daddy loving ass with an ask. "You're such a doof" with one of my boys. Do it up bb, I'll feed you sad daddy Shin smut in return 😂

Hey, Biz! This is just a teaser for the other fic I’m working on for you. 😏 Hope you like it, tho. Also, you don’t have to write Daddy Shin smut for little ol’ me. You feed me enough already. Lmao.

***

Sabito x F!S/O: “You’re such a doof” (Slight NSFW Scenario):

Warning: Daddy Kink

“Come here and fight me!” (Y/n) screeched aloud, as she slammed the shoji open before thumping her chest once. The action made her breathless for a second, but she ignored the mild discomfort as best as she could.

Because she knew that she had to save face, if she wanted her lover to take her seriously.

“What are you going on about now, (Y/n)?” Sabito asked through a yawn, while he sat upright from his spot on the engawa and turned to look at his feisty woman.

“Fight me if you’re a man!” The young woman challenged once more, as she drew herself up to her full height and marched towards the grinning Hashira. “I’ll have your ass flat on the ground in ten seconds.”

“Oh? Really, now?” Sabito drawled with a teasing grin. His eyes tracked every single movement that (Y/n) made; from the way that her feet padded across the hardwood floor, to the stiff way that her arms swung at her sides.

It didn’t take a genius to know that she was livid; but Sabito wasn’t even fazed. His hotheaded woman was a handful, especially when she got riled up, but he couldn’t deny that that was one of her traits that attracted him to her. 

Like a moth to a flame.

With a smirk, he waited in anticipation for (Y/n) to strike; and— just as he’d predicted— she lunged right at him as soon as she crossed the threshold that led to where he was.

His muscles moved so fluidly at that; lifting his hands up to effortlessly grab her by the wrists, before pinning her down to the ground and straddling her hips in a blur of motion.

She might have been a Slayer like him and Giyuu, but he still had way more finesse and technique than she did.

He hovered above her with a smug grin playing at his lips, while he pinned her wrists to the floor.

“Is that the best you can do?” Sabito taunted, which made (Y/n)’s entire face burn with embarrassment.

She tried to free herself from his grasp, to no avail, really. Her stubbornness outshone all rational sense she possessed, so she even went as far as to try and buck him off— only to squeak in surprise when her lover lowered his body against hers.

His cock was already hard beneath his pants, and just the feel of it rubbing against her lower abdomen sent warm tingles crawling all over her body.

“Now, tell Daddy what has his baby so riled up.” Sabito stopped rubbing his erection against (Y/n), and the brief reprieve from his lascivious actions made all rational thought come flooding back to the young woman’s mind.

“It’s because you-” She couldn’t continue after that, as a gasp escaped her lips when the peach-haired man began to rub his stiff dick against her body once more. “You- you...”

“I what? Tell me, baby.”

But no matter how hard she tried to gather her thoughts and spout out a coherent sentence, nothing came out of her mouth except quiet and needy whimpers.

There was nothing in her head but the feel of the hard cock within the Hashira’s pants. And slowly, her steady breaths grew shorter, much more ragged, as her mouth watered at the memories that flickered in her mind.

Visions of long, passionate nights spent practically worshipping Sabito’s dick played in her head; highlighted with flashbacks of herself milking him with her pussy numerous times, and then holding him inside her until he was ready to go once more.

Sabito’s chuckle from above her shook her from her reverie, before he leaned down and planted soft kisses against her flushed right cheek. He drifted down to her jaw, and eventually trailed back up to her ear, where he bit her lobe and playfully sucked on it.

It was safe to say that (Y/n) was only a little more than a quivering mess at that point, because she was so weak for Sabito; she always had been.

Taking pity on her, the Hashira decided to answer his own question. “Is it because I told Giyuu that you’re not fit to go with us on our next mission?”

That seemed to hammer some sense back into the young woman’s frazzled mind, because she glared right up at him and huffed. “Yes! What did you think I was angry for?”

Sabito couldn’t help it, he laughed at that, before releasing his right hand around (Y/n)’s wrist; only to use that recently freed hand to flick her forehead roughly. “I’m only trying to protect you, so you need to stop being so stubborn— or so help me, (Y/n), I will punish you.”

“Punishment? Are you going to spank me, daddy?” She asked coyly, even though the excitement in her tone was so palpable. Her eyes even glittered at the prospect of being put through one of her lover’s so-called punishments.

Because they couldn’t have been punishments when she enjoyed them immensely.

“I want you to spank me, daddy. Please.”

Sabito couldn’t deny that the thought of going through with it made his cock even harder than before, but he still found himself chuckling and shaking his head at his lover’s overeagerness.

“You’re such a doof.” However, instead of flicking her forehead that time, he merely leaned down and pressed his lips against her warm skin.

[sarroora]

 *Just watched ‘Treasure of the Found Lamp!’ and-

Why on earth would Dijon's parents call him Jinn of all things?

The Ifrit stone? Honestly, if we don't get some adventure in the spirits realm after all this I'll be sad

Aw come on! you're gonna mention Collie Baba and not show us his design?!

"I like everything about you!" Webby darlin I dunno if you're afraid or impressed OMG

The droopy whiskers animation on Scrooge make their comeback in DT17

Yep

Scrooge, why is that lamp even in your possession in the first place when you know who the owners are..?

Can I just…write my headcanon now before I carry on: Dijon is very dramatic and serious when dealing with people like Scrooge but a complete doof with his friends and family. A doofy dramatic

Oh my God, he's even more dramatic than I gave him credit forPERFECT AIMING SKILLS?! Link levels of eye-targeting skills

He's…journaling his adventure?

I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING

Wait, Gladstone lives in a blimp now? Bought for him by Doofus? WHAT REALITY AM I LIVING IN. I KEEP THINKING IF I WENT BACK IN TIME AND TALKED TO MY 6 YEAR OLD SELF TELLING HER THIS WILL HAPPEN IN A FUTURE DUCKTALES EPISODE SHE WOULD THINK I WAS CRAZY

Dijon is so freaking serious about everything and he's willing to fight a minotaur for being slow I can't stop laughing WHAT THE HECK HOW DID HE KNOW THE ANSWER he's so freaking invested in his 'journey of truth'

Doofus's House of Horrors…

WHY IS HE LIKE THIS GOD WHY IS HE SO CREEPY AND GROSS

WHAT WAIT WAIT WAIT

WHO…WHO IS THAT BIRD WITH GLADSTONE ON THE TV IN MA BEAGLE'S HOUSE???! Is he some sort of freelance actor in this universe? And more importantly, why is Ma watching this show of all things?

I'm not letting Gladstone's acting side-gig slide I have many questions

Seeing someone like Scrooge look genuinely ashamed was a long time coming tbh

Wow, Dijon turned out to be pretty wise. Rather than wallow in bitterness he just ploughs on because it's part of the journey. I respect that attitude

"Misbah…the lamp." I hate to be that person, but you gotta add 'Al' before misbah to serve as a 'the'. So, "Al misbah..the lamp."

YEA THE CLIMBING ANIMATION SEQUENCE. But I never thought it would be against Ma of all people! Now we need one of every imaginable duo. Donald vs Gladstone, Fenton vs Mark, Scrooge vs Zues, etc etc.

YOOOOOO! AND HERE I COME BACK TO MY ORIGINAL HEADCANON. HE IS A DRAMATIC DOOF AND HE CAN LAUGH

I feel kinda sad for Ma's crushed expression

I can't believe how close my headcanon was to canon. He's a dramatic sentimental dork who turned out to be doing this for the journey and..to get himself a birthday present? I can't believe it. And his family's story is very adorable

"Anyone else wish to test me on my birthday?" “Happy birthday, dude.”

And now as he celebrates his birthday with a cake, he being a dorky but skilled adventurer is 100% correct