#i think charlie is really the only recurring character who isn’t on here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fucktheroyals · 4 years

Text

You know after reading and reading and reading peoples theories and the meta from before the spn finale aired and the meta writers reactions to the finale I think I have a theory of my own. We don't have any answers tho, so this is pure speculation. If you wanna add something to support or discredit any of this that's cool but there's too many things floating around. Know I dont have proof for this conclusion at all. A lot of what I say is just guesses based on previous facts.

This all came together in my head when I realized how much this finale REEKS of the original producers and who the show was originally for. It REEKS of Robert Singer. Like if the execs started saying they didn't want it, Robert Singer was the one pushing that the story was about the brothers. That kinda thing.

Then, I was thinking of the problems in this episode and it struck me these are all of Supernatural biggest issues and to be honest all of it feels completely deliberate.

Take the sexism for example, Supernatural in it's later seasons largely out grew this, we have Jody, Rowena, Donna, Charlie, Mary, Claire (and even a wayward sisters pilot with MORE women/girls) all making regular appearances. They're mainly good characters and mostly aren't there to hurt our boys. Rowena, of course, is the one outlier being very about herself but it's clear she still cares for them, I mean its part of her development. But they're all real, with character flaws just like everyone else. (And we have Death too and she was POC 😭 THANK GOD)

Now look at the earlier half of Spn, we have Ellen and Jo, who's appearances were far in between. There's Bela in season 3, recurring for quite a bit (5 eps), but she is a character that is only there for herself, definitely not found family (unlike Ellen & Jo), and she's got more episodes in season 3 than Ellen and Jo in season 2 who aren't seen again til season 5. The "fans" send in hate mail after hate mail to try to get these characters off, and eventually they are. Then there's Ruby who's character stayed for a whole two seasons and was a largely recurring character. Why does she get to say so long? She's a plot device. She's supposed to be there to betray Sam. She has to stay (plus Jared obviously likes her). But she's not just a character the writers like writing about. Same with Lilith. Obviously not as recurring but still a plot device. Did they get hate mail tho? You can bet on it. Why? because tHeY'rE gOnNa PuSh ThE bOyS (Dean and Sam) aPaRt ThE sHoW iS aBoUt ThE bOyS oNlY. Without even thinking about the hate mail, just notice how large the difference is from how women are seen in the earlier seasons to the later seasons. Misha got tons of hate mail too for being a character that could split up the boys (probably only being allowed to say because he a man, thanks sexist producers and execs).

Only after Castiel was killed off and then Castiel fans successfully (thank you guys) got him back on the show did the hate mail largely simmer, which means female character's were allowed to stay! Which has lead us to a show with a good amount of female characters. But can you imagine having to kill characters off time and time again because people keep complaining that the show is "only about the boys." Fun times really.

So now we get to this final and we see sexism. But it wasn't just the plain old regular sexism you find in the earlier days of spn. Because now, there ARE women to talk about, talk to. But this episode was DESOLATE women wise, unless they were used for plot (which is also sexist!). Small scenes, they're barely there. Women gets her tongue cut out. Random women from s1 gets killed. Sam doesn't SPEAK of Eileen. Nothing. No mention of any female characters from the boys mouths unless they were from/in this episode itself. That's WIERD. I know we've all said it. But that goes beyond forgetting about characters. I mean its SAM'S GIRLFRIEND for Christ's sake. There is NO REASON they couldn't have said Eileen's name. Notice how Sam's wife is just... faceless. This is literally an age old sexist trope. Like... one of the things about bringing Mary back to life for s12+ is that it takes this trope... of basically a generic mother, and gives her life and feelings, whether you like them or not, they're real feelings. They said Mary isn't just a mom she's a person. Mary's existence in the later half of spn is to fix this kind of female tropes that fall upon her character, to not let these her stay a 2 dimensional character. They said we should know she's more than just the mom who tried to save her kid. Do that is the exact opposite of Sam getting a nameless, faceless wife. The sexism of the old spn wasn't just brought back, it was completely amplified. It wasn't just accidental or some exec "fixing" the story it was DELIBRATE. Whoever wrote that, didn't do ALL OF THAT by accident. Because an exec or a producer who doesn't see the flaws in old supernatural isn't going to write it that deliberately.

Let's bring it back to s10 when Charlie was killed (singer was mainly to blame). Dead in the bathtub, age old classic of burying ur gays. If you were here you know people never let Supernatural live that down. THEY KNOW what bury ur gays means. Hell, Robbie Thompson left because of Charlie's death and you think the writers don't know what it means? I mean both Bobo Berens (especially) and Steve Yockey's careers are centered around LGBT+ storytelling and you think they don't know? They know. They know.

And Dean wasn't just apart of the bury your gays trope, it is so far BEYOND that. Dean being killed on a rusty nail/screw, the tongues ripped out, things that seemed to be meant for other people. Jensen's acting in the last two episodes was giving us "DEAN RECIPROCATES" but no one ever actually saying it. I think it's clear that Dean was killed for being Bi. They didn't address it for a reason, they just silenced him. His narrative was supposed to be about letting him be HIM for the first time, to say what his feelings are instead of having them miscommunicated, and instead of doing that, they just silenced him. And the more we look at this scene the more horrific it gets. The more it's a complete slap in the face and it's supposed to be. Some guy who knows nothing about the LGBT can't write a scene this horrific.

Some guy who knows nothing about Dean couldn't write a scene that deconstructs all of Dean's character development and gives Dean his worst nightmare. I MEAN DEAN WANTED TO LIVE HIS LIFE! THEY DIDNT HIDE THAT JOB APPLICATION (or whatever job related thing that was) IN THERE FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES THEY WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST SITUATION. Dean isn't Barney from HIMYM. If you watched HIMYM then you'll know Barney went from being a stereotypical ladies man and treating women terribly to being in love with a women and treating her right and working hard for it. The last episode of HIMYM (why its so bad) Barney's character development is thrown out and he's back to being a stereotypical ladies man. You don't need to know Barney's character very much to do that.

To kill Dean during a hunt his father never finished, to not have anyone at his funeral, to have Dean die young like his life didn't matter. Those are Dean's worst fears and you'd only truly know that if you watched the gin episode in s3, where they are basically laid out for you. You HAVE to know Dean's character to tear him apart like this.

This episode took all the core elements of the show and did a complete 180° the name of the episode itself is "Carry on" and Dean and Sam very much did not carry on. Sam grieving his entire life so that he good get to heaven and see Dean again. Dean being ready to live his life, despite the enormous pitfalls and learning to love himself only to be killed. "Family don't end with blood." Um.... it did in that episode either literally with Dean's death or you know BECAUSE NONE OF THEIR FOUND FAMILY WAS THERE. Not Jack, Not Cas, Not Eileen, Not Donna, Not Charlie, Not Jody, Not Claire... on and on we go. No one was there, nobody was even mentioned. Dean's funeral, no one even called that we know of. It was just Sam and Dean. Sam and Dean. And Bobby. Don't forget Bobby. But yeah Sam and Dean.

That's what the show is about right, the brothers.

Except it's not anymore. It hasn't been for years.

Cas not being there was deafening but it brought us to a major point. Becky. Becky's telling us about the terrible ending.

And many of us are wondering why would they literally tell us this is the worst ending and then... make it the ending.

Now before we move on, it very apparent many of you think Dabb doesn't ship Deancas. And Dabb doesn't care about the characters.

Say what you will about any plot holes in his writing, the point he is VERY GOOD at writing the characters, and giving us good ones.

Why do we know Dabb ships Deancas? (ill say when its cowrote, other wise its not) cowrote ep 8.02 - purgatory "I prayed to you, Cas, every night" "Cas, Buddy, I need you." "I have a price on my head, and I've been trying to stay one step ahead of them, to – to keep them away from you." 8.08 Hunteri Heroici - Cas helps them hunt! 😊❤ Dean & Cas have a serious convo about why Cas doesn't want to see/go to heaven. 8.22 Dean's mad at Cas. Sam's explanation of why Dean should be easy on Cas: "It's Cas." Dean then points out how he'd knife anybody else if they did what Cas did. 9.10 - Cas comforts Dean when Dean can't take seeing Sam (Gadreel) being tortured anymore. Also tons of Cas. 9.20 (bloodlines) - Canonical couple parallel "I was there, where were you" 9.22 The angels make Cas choose between them and killing Dean and he "gave up an entire army for one guy" 10.09 Claire's reintroduction. Cas heavy ep. DeanCas date. 10.22 THE PRISONER - u know the ep where Dean beats the shit out of Cas but loves him enough to not kill him.

We COULD keep going but I think I've made my point. If Robert Singer is the guy that is like "the show is about Sam and Dean only" Andrew Dabb is the DeanCas shipper. And you could even say a Cas stan.

Notice! How in s13 for SEVEN episodes we have a story that revolves around Dean's grief about losing Cas. Notice! How often the stories in all these seasons have a focus on their relationship. THAT is Andrew Dabb. If it weren't for him doing that, we wouldn't be able to easily say after Dean's lack of a response to Cas' confession, that Dean reciprocates.

To me, when I was (binge) watching s12 for the first time, I thought damn this is really got a lot of DeanCas. So I went to look at who was in charge, who was writing. I saw Andrew Dabb, associated him with Deancas episodes, saw all the new writers, Bobo, and then I saw that Yockey is known for same sex stories and it clicked. Dabb assembled a team to give us Destiel. THAT WAS IN SEASON 12!!!!!!!!

The amount of people saying he's homophobic flabbergast me. Open your eyes! That isn't what's going on.

Imagine making a show and trying to right all the wrongs of Supernatural. Imagine trying to write the greatest love story ever told and you have the entire season planned out for it to end off beautifully, it may possibly be your greatest achievement when it's done and then boom. someone comes in and tells you you aren't allowed to make Dean bi or make destiel endgame, after he was most probably already given the go ahead.

Sure. You could imply he's bi or into cas still in a way. Still make nice-ish ending. just give everyone what the kinda want.

Or you could scrap the last season, nothing close to a canonical bisexual Dean Winchester or Deancas endgame in site. People can be done with it be happy with the show, continue to live their lives in ignorance as to how close they were to Canon destiel.

OR you can lead everyone to the very closest you can get them to what you were aiming for and then show everyone the ugly truth and reality. Light it all on fire. Burn the show to the ground in your wake. Try your darnedest to making these people's (the people saying no) pockets suffer. Show us, the audience, what happened. Show us what this show really is.

I've seen people talk about the ending being changed during covid but I dont think that happened. I think what happened was Dabb already had this season planned out before it even started. Obviously the details were wobbly but it was all lead up to this ending. Destiel endgame, Canon Bisexual Dean, whatever it was. They were ready to write the greatest love story ever told and then someone shut it down.

Imagine the pain that must have caused them to be told no when they already said yes. They must have been so excited to give this to us.

I think someone (some producers) told him what this show is "really" about. The brothers. Can you imagine, after being told no, some kinda bullshit like this is said to you: "Why aren't you bringing it back to the brothers, Andrew? that's what the shows about. What with all this homosexual stuff, you know the audience won't like that. Not really." Imagine the original producers pushing this kind of view on you. "You know when we started it was Sam and Dean. It should end with Sam and Dean." That kinda sounds like someone huh? huh.

So why give us a nice acceptable finale, when you can take every problem Supernatural's had either up front or behind the scenes and create a finale so incredibly bad that people don't want to watch it anymore.

Someone made a good point about how Sam was originally supposed to be the main focus (this isn't to put any hate on Sam or Jared). Dean and Sam are the main characters but Sam was supposed to be the focus and for Dean to have become the focus, must have annoyed the producers because... well here we are. They wouldn't listen to Jensen. The producers liked this ending. Jensen's opinion didn't matter to them.

In some ways, if this is really what happened, it can be seen as childish from Dabb. To hurt all of us like that. Yes, he's hurting the producers, the execs, the cw. But to hurt us? Yeah it stings.

But in other ways, if this is really what happened, this is Dabb showing us the muck and gunk under the shiny surface. The hate for Misha. The hidden hate for Jensen. The underlying sexism. The underlying homophobia. The people REALLY in charge don't care about us, they just want our money. He needed to open our eyes and free us, at least free the people that he was writing for. The people he sees that care about this show.

This is the ending the powers that be wanted and its a big fuck you for a reason. I dont think this is Dabb spitting in our faces for loving this show, I think this is him trying to get revenge for us.

But from here, you can see it how u want it. If this is really what happened, I'm not in charge of your emotions, if you wanna be mad be mad if you wanna be grateful be grateful. And you don't have to believe me either I said this is speculation.

Also, as for all of the rumors like there being shots to the confession scene that we didn't see, which Jensen himself implied, I think that might have been a last ditch effort to canonized DeanCas but obviously it was cut. Like the name change was pretty clear. As for Misha possibly having shot some stuff for 20 I dont know what to tell you. If it's true I dont know where the blame would lie.

I do think however, that if all this was the case, the writers were prepared to become villians here. I mean they told us the writers were villians with Chuck right? So. Who knows what went down so they could give us such a vile ending. It could've been the producers or the writers, who truly knows. I do think tho that people we "trust" did some pretty shitty things to push the narrative in certain directions so now one would see this as the actual ending that was coming.

So again do with my SPECULATION what you will. This was in no way meant to put Dabb on a pedestal or anything. Just meant to give a bit of perspective.

(Also Jensen didn't unfollow Dabb recently he was already unfollowed for years)

#15x20 wank #spn finale wank #spn finale meta #15x20 meta #Andrew Dabb #spn #supernatural #castiel #dean winchester #destiel #deancas #misha collins #jensen ackles #long post #sorry im on mobile #this is the longest post i have ever writen

565 notes · View notes

bi-bi-buckleydiaz · 3 years

Text

i think not | owen joyner

requested?; - yes! Owen Joyner x reader - their characters might not be love interests on the show (readers is possibly a new one for Luke/which causes a rift in Juke) but they are in real life and are trying to keep it on the down low especially during cast interviews and with fans.

word count; 2K

warnings; language, yelling but only like two sentences

a/n; I didn’t know how to end it so the ending kinda sucks sorry. also side note, the character the reader plays on jatp is a character I’m planning on writing an x reggie fic with so be on the lookout for that !

that close up tho

You didn’t mean for it to happen.

Not the, relationship, of course. You wanted that to happen. You’ve been wanting that to happen since you were an extra dancer on the first season of Julie and the Phantoms and danced right into Owen on accident during The Other Side of Hollywood. He was sweet about it, of course he was, asking if you were okay when he was the one that got barrelled into. The apology coffee date turned into a movie night at his apartment which then turned into weekly Friday night takeout dates which ultimately turned into Owen blurting out one night that he liked you and wanted to be your boyfriend.

You obviously said yes.

Which brings you to now, two years later filming season two of JatP, except this time you weren’t a dancer, but a recurring character - Delilah Alarie, a 17 year old girl who can hear ghosts, but can’t see them, and forms an unlikely relationship with everyone’s favorite bassist in a ghost band. This is where the problem comes in.

When you and Owen started dating back in 2019, you two decided to keep it on the DL because you both weren’t totally sure where it was going to go. At the time you were both so busy: Owen having his first acting job as an adult so he was getting used to the long hours, and you working what felt like 25/8 to get all the dance routines down pat. So you both just...didn’t tell anyone. That’s not to say people weren’t suspicious. Charlie was present at many movie nights and Tori liked to tease you about you how you’d spend your time between takes staring at the blond drummer and his fidgeting fingers.

Filming wrapped and you planned to announce your relationship at the wrap party, but a certain 19 year old thought it would be smart to get a little wasted and passed out before you could say “hey, we’re dating.” Then, you all went your separate ways and you and Owen didn’t see the need to inform everyone of the relationship, especially because you had to figure out the whole long-distance thing.

Then Covid hit. And there really wasn’t a need because you both were fighting so hard to not get insecure and worried about the hundreds of miles between you two. But you got through it. Between many facetime calls, a spontaneous trip to Hawaii, and one memorable meet up at a halfway point between your two states, you were finally back in each other's arms after the last three months apart. Of course, it was on set, where everyone thinks you’re just friends.

So yeah, there’s a problem. Because you didn’t mean for the secret dating to go on for so long. Life just, happened, and now you two are constantly sneaking around your fellow castmates and trading secret kisses in each other’s trailers and having little rendezvous meetings in the apartment building’s pool after your roommates have fallen asleep. You’re sure Savannah and Tori have heard you sneaking out a few times, but they wisely say nothing. Charlie sleeps like the dead so your certain Owen is in the clear.

It’s not like you two want to keep it a secret. Of course you want to tell your friends, it's just, since it’s gone on for so long you’re scared of what could happen. If they’ll get mad about the sneaking around and the lying.

But alas, you knew the day when the secret would slip out would come. And today just happened to be that day.

Your friends were already starting to get suspicious, you and Owen were starting to lose your subtlety with the sneaking around, and some fans don’t understand the term BOUNDARIES and caught you two outside the apartment building one day. You weren’t doing anything relationship-y, you two were just coming back from a short day on set because you both ended at the same time and were looking forward to some much needed alone time. But you both knew better than to hold hands or kiss in public, which you were glad for that rule when a few girls bombarded Owen when you both walked out of the parking garage to head inside. The girls posted about the interaction online and of course, assumptions were made about why you two were together. The cast brought it up, but you both shut it down. You really thought the secret would be exposed because someone would catch you two together...Owen is not good at keeping his hands to himself despite his own PDA rule.

But no, the secret came to a head because Owen is a big fat st0upid head and got jealous over his best friend.

It started as a normal day. You got up at the last possible minute, Savannah and Tori already eating breakfast in the kitchen, knowing better than to wake you up before your alarm. You ate, showered, changed into comfy clothes for the ride to work. Madi joined you and the other girls that day, now being a little older her dad trusted her to be alone with the older cast members and alone on set for a little while. You jammed out to Doja Cat and HSM because “range, Y/N, range.” Then you arrived on set to Kenny calling you and Madi over for an impromptu meeting before any of you could reach hair and makeup.

“Alright, now that the rest of you guys are here, I have an announcement to make.” You looked around to see that it was just the main four and you, and that’s when trepidation hit. The only scene you knew of today that involved you five was when the boys finally became visible to you, and you and Reggie share a moment. It’s a hug, much like the one Julie and Luke shared in the season one finale. But Kenny had come up to you a few days ago, suggesting adding a little something something. He told you he wasn’t sure yet, had to run it by a few execs, but that Jeremy was okay with it and he wanted to make sure you’d be okay with it too. You had said yes, after all Jeremy was the one married so you were really only worried about how he and Carolynn would feel about the kiss, you didn’t even think about Owen.

That was a mistake.

“So, I ran it by a few execs and of course, our own Delilah and Reggie, and have decided that after their big hug moment, a little kiss would really make the scene and ma -”

“Uh I think not.” It was muttered, but everyone heard it. And everyone froze, Kenny stopping mid sentence to look at the culprit. Owen was looking at his hands, completely oblivious to everyone staring at him. He didn’t even realize he’d said it aloud until Jeremy cut the tension with a little forced chuckle.

“C’mon Owen there’s enough of me to go around.” Everyone chuckled a bit, but Owen froze in his fidgeting, his face going firetruck red and eyes darting over to you.

“Shit. Fuck I said that aloud didn’t I?” He groaned, putting his face in his hands and, before you could stop yourself, you walked up to him.

“Hey. Hey c’mon.” You gently wrapped your hands around his wrists and pulled his hands away from his face. “It’s okay.” You expected him to look stressed. Based on his tone of voice you were preparing for a minor panic attack. But when you saw his face, all you saw was anger. It shocked you, causing you to stumble back a bit.

“You knew about this?” And okay, yeah, you also expected a bit of that. But not to this caliber.

“Owen I -”

“No. No you knew and didn’t tell me? Didn’t think to mention that you’d be kissing one of my best friends? What the hell Y/N?” You flinched, not used to Owen being this angry and loud.

“Owen, buddy, hey. Let’s just -” Charlie started, trying to diffuse the situation having noticed you flinching.

“No! This isn’t a ‘calm down’ thing. This is a “my girlfriend lied to me” thing and I’m very upset about it!” And whoop...there it is.

“Owen...”

“God just, really Y/N?” Then he walks away, leaving you surrounded by your confused friends. It’s silent for a few seconds, everyone taking in what just happened.

“Um...I know this probably a really bad time to bring this up but uh...y’all owe me twenty bucks each,” Charlie said. Then everyone started talking at one. Kenny apologizing for not knowing, Madi berating Charlie for the bad timing, Charlie firing back that Owen is just being dramatic, and Jeremy consoling you with Kenny. His hand on your back jump starts you into action. You quickly excuse yourself to make your way to Owen’s trailer, knowing that’s probably where he stormed off too.

You don’t knock when you get there, just walk in, making sure to lock it behind you. Owen is there on the couch, elbows on his knees and head in his hands.

“Owen Joyner what the hell was that?” That’s not what you had wanted to say. You were going to be nice and ease into it. But he yelled first and now you're anxious and stressed and upset. He sighs heavily and looks up at you, eyes red and glassy with unshed tears.

“I’m sorry. I - Y/N I didn’t mean to freak. I realized halfway here that was not the way to go. I’m so -” You cut him off by pushing him back and crawling into his lap.

“It’s okay. It’s okay I should’ve - I shouldn’t’ve just yelled and I definitely should have told you when Kenny proposed the idea I just got so caught up in the fact it’d be my first on screen kiss and it’d be with a married man who’s in quite possibly the cutest relationship ever and I was worried about -”

“You’re rambling babe,” Owen says with a smile. It’s a soft thing, one that makes your insides all mushy and your heart starts beating a little faster. “It’s okay. I mean, I would’ve liked to have found out earlier and not in front of our friends - oh my God! I just completely exposed us didn’t I? Oh God!” He whimpers out a whine and leans his head forward onto your shoulder. You giggle at the blonde beneath you, running your hands through his hair as he pinches your sides for the laugh.

“Babe, I’m pretty sure they already knew.” Owen whips his head up at that, eyebrows furrowed.

“Charlie mentioned everyone owes him twenty so, i’m pretty sure they were betting on when we’d tell them.” Owen groans and grumbles at that, throwing his head back in a dramatic way to convey his fake frustration. He brings his head back center and smiles softly again at you.

“I will make sure to steal it from him tonight. That’s our money babe.” You giggle into the kiss he places onto your lips. You two sit there for a few more minutes, exchanging kisses and trading affirmations of love. After a final kiss, one that’s full of passion and heat, you decide to head back to set.

You walk into the stage with the studio hand-in-hand, smiles on your faces. Madi squeals when she sees you both, running over to hug you.

“Yay yay! I knew you’d work it out and now I have another couple to fangirl over. Yay!” You hug the small girl back before she bounces over to give Owen the same treatment.

“Congrats bro,” Charlie says with a smile, clapping a hand on Owen’s back and ruffling your hair up. Jeremy smiles at you two, hugging you both as well.

“Congrats you two, now can we get back to the meeting? You two dating is old news. Like, 2019 old. But congrats on finally announcing it!” You look at Kenny in shock for a second, before bursting out into laughter, everyone around you following suit. Owen squeezes your hand three times and you look back over at him. You both shoot each other a small smile.

It’s gonna be okay.

#owen joyner #owen patrick joyner #owen joyner imagine #owen joyner x reader #owen joyner fanfiction #owen joyner x y/n #owen patrick joyner imagine #owen patrick joyner x reader #owen patrick joyner x y/n #owen patrick joyner fanfiction #jatp #jatp fanfic #jatp fanfiction #jatp imagine #jatp x reader

239 notes · View notes

daggerbisexual · 3 years

Text

alright so this is legit the only place i can post this so. here we go.

STUCKY WEST WING AU (yes i’m really going here):

to start with, obviously, Fury would be Jed Bartlet. i don’t think i even have to make my case here.

Steve would be Josh. now, idk that in canon Steve is disorganized enough to be Josh, but for whatever reason it works in my head, so roll with it.

this leaves Bucky as Donna. i did flip flop back and forth on which one was Josh and which one was Donna, but ultimately i think Bucky’s sense of humor lends itself better to Donna than Josh.

moving on from here we go to CJ, everyone’s favorite press secretary. now, my initial thought was Natasha (for obvious reasons), but Maria hill would also be an excellent choice. i’m leaning natasha, personally.

Tony is Toby Ziegler. Toby is significantly grumpier than Tony (yeah try keeping that one straight yikes) and also Jewish, but i’ve decided that they tend to share a kind of manic energy, and also, Tony’s religion/ethnicity isn’t specified in canon, so he can be jewish if i want.

now on to Leo. I think Coulson has to be the chief of staff, otherwise it just doesn’t make sense. he and leo both have a sort of inscrutable nature to them that i love. (ironically, Clark Gregg does play a minor recurring character in the West Wing, which caused me to pause and shout “that’s my boy!” at the screen, but that’s neither here nor there).

this leaves Clint as Margaret, Leo’s assistant. i’d say “long suffering” but if anyone is long suffering in that pair, it’s definitely Leo.

as for Sam Seaborne, i think the only correct answer here is Sam Wilson. idk, it just makes sense. Also, friends with Josh, etc.

That leaves us with a few minor characters, like Mandy (Sharon carter, duh), Ginger (who is Toby’s assistant and therefore Pepper, Duh). There’s also a few characters from the MCU i’d like to fit in somewhere. Wanda as Carol, CJ’s assistant, and i think Thor as Lord John Marbury the super eccentric rich guy ambassador to England (i know i know Thor is norse, which is Scandinavian, just roll with it)

The only major character i am having trouble with is Charlie. i know someone will immediately suggest Peter Parker, and while that isn’t a bad suggestion necessarily, i Do Not want to whitewash Charlie, especially since much of his early arc is about being a young black man in washington. my next thought was Eli Bradley, but i can’t say i know enough about him to say definitively one way or the other. i am more than willing to hear suggestions about this one way or the other.

anyway so. who wants to write this with me. jk. unless??

27 notes · View notes

flowitch · 4 years

Text

supernatural and lgbtqia+ characters

DISCLAIMER: i love these characters, which is why i watch the show. i do also have many issues with the show and the writers. this isn’t a hate post for the story or the characters, just the way the characters have been treated. do not read this if you are not caught up and do not want spoilers. this is also kinda a mess but i got very passionate about this and wrote it during classes

Dean Winchester

i’m gonna start with my boy dean!! dean is mine along with many other people’s favorite characters because of how complex he is. and one of the things that adds depth to his character is his “journey” with his sexuality.

there are many examples of dean very clearly not being straight, and he is officially headcanoned (and i guess canon now) as bisexual. you don’t even need to include dean and cas scenes for examples of his bisexuality. here is a video showing examples without any cas scenes:

https://youtu.be/rQSPmmuLJB0

now that we’ve established he is bisexual, let’s talk about the contradiction between the writing of his sexuality and character. the one i’m itching to talk about first is the confession scene in 10x16.

https://youtu.be/IqBHkwi13ic

in this scene, dean says, and i quote, if you don’t want to watch the video and don’t remember, “There's things, there's...people...feelings that I- I want to experience differently. Maybe even for the first time.” there honestly is no other way to interpret this. i’ve tried to put myself in the mind of the writers and the homophobes but i genuinely cannot interpret this another way. this is very clearly about his sexuality, being that there were no love interests at the time that this would apply to (not that this would even apply to a straight couple anyway). and not only does this confession scene occur, but sam even comments on how he was in there for a long time and he could always talk to him if he needs to!!!! they could have easily not had sam say anything about how long he spent in there, being that we as the viewers have no clue as to how long he was in there. they wrote that specifically to show that what he said in there had meaning and importance.

the writers and the crew of the show play into dean’s sexuality consistently with scenes, song of the days from the crew, etc., but then deny that destiel or dean’s bisexuality is real. i think a lot of this has to do with the fact that dean has always been considered as a “macho man” who shows very little emotion and has trouble with vulnerability. and that’s true! he absolutely is. but this show had 15 years to allow him to slowly work through his feelings and his issues with his own sexuality and self. the confession is a great example of the writers being almost there and then never speaking about it again.

even if you aren’t bisexual, you can see how much biphobia there is in the world. and as a bisexual woman i can say that bisexuality in men is so looked down upon it’s disturbing. men coming to terms with their bisexuality, especially if they are considered straight and “manly”, always makes me so happy since it’s not as accepted as female bisexuality. and this is another reason why supernatural exploring dean’s bisexuality would have been so incredible. seeing a man on television who has a lot of internal issues come to terms with something so complex and life changing would have been monumental to so many people. the writers had an infinite amount of ways to go about this because of things that THEY wrote, and instead chose to ignore his sexuality and have him not respond to castiel’s confession in 15x18. it’s very clear he was in shock in that episode so i’m not mad, but it is also clear that they wrote it that way to not fully make deancas canon.

dean winchester is bisexual, and the writers wrote him that way. nobody pulled this out of their ass, destiel didn’t become popular randomly and for no reason, they wrote him this way. this is their own writing that they have chosen to ignore and contradict for 15 seasons and it’s disappointing.

Castiel

this entire post is being written on november 6, 2020. one day after 15x18 aired. castiel is now canonically queer, and was already sent to someplace worse than hell. because he was happy. which directly connected to his love for dean. i honestly don’t even have to write cas’ section because that is enough, but i’ll write about his mistreatment anyway.

we knew the only thing that would make cas truly happy would be something with dean. well we assumed the writers would make up some other bullshit, but we hoped that it had something to do with dean. and sure enough, it was his love confession. and what i loved about this was cas starts it off by saying two beautiful things. one, that he knows he can never have what he really wants (dean), but he’s just as happy telling dean he loves him. he doesn’t need to have him to be happy with where they end their story, as long as dean knows. and the other thing he starts off by saying is that he knows how dean sees himself. he lists off all of these extremely kind things about dean and how dean is what made cas care about the world. he is the reason castiel went from an emotionless soldier to a fallen angel that feels deep love for people.

this confession scene although tainted by the fact that he died right after, which we’ll talk about, and the fact that it took this damn long, really means a lot to me. it was so incredible seeing cas be unapologetically open, honest, in love, and himself. he was for the first time since we’ve known him, completely and totally content. he told the man he loves how incredible he thinks he is and how he loves him, and knew he was saving him from billie by doing it. we’ve never seen him that happy. and it’s heartbreaking.

misha summed it up perfectly i think: “Tonight, watching Cas talk to Dean, I got lost in the story and forgot for a moment that I’m the one who plays that angel and I thought, “He’s how I want to be. He’s openhearted and he’s selfless and he’s true.”

this was the first time we saw cas living his whole truth, and he immediately died. in terms of just bad taste, sending someone who just came out to angel hell is very disturbing, but it’s just further proof of the writers not caring about their lgbtqia+ characters. it’s like they gave us what we wanted, but there just had to be a catch, right? these writers very clearly do not care about their queer characters or fans, and what they did to cas here shows that plain as day.

obviously i really do want dean to save cas from the empty to parallel cas saving him from hell, but do i think it’ll happen in these last two episodes? no. first off i just don’t think misha filmed for the last two episodes, but also, the writers have made it clear that they do not care about cas in general, nevermind their now love story. it just does not sit right with me that he got sent to the empty for eternity because he was finally his whole self and happy.

Charlie Bradbury (our world + au)

we have seen charlie bradbury die twice, both times for no reason at all. the first time we saw her die, it was by the hands of a NAZI, and her body was THROWN INTO A BATHTUB. like i said before with cas, that was explanation enough i mean come ON. the second time we witnessed charlie die was in 15x18, (along with the whole world i know bare with me), which we did NOT need to see.

let’s start with the fact that for all of these characters, supernatural creates and writes them wonderfully for the most part. we fall in love with these characters because of the way they were written, acted, and the dynamic with other characters. unfortunately in supernatural, if you are queer or a woman or god forbid both, that dynamic with other characters will be the death of you.

i’m gonna talk about each other her deaths individually. so her first death. the only reason for her death was to further sam and dean’s (mostly dean’s) man pain. although i eat up the reactions of other characters when another dies, this just felt completely unnecessary to me. the writers wrote a fan-favorite character, and decided that the best course of action was to brutally murder her to further dean’s mark of cain storyline. and i loved that storyline! i loved the scene of dean getting revenge for charlie! but it did not need to happen. the only thing the fans wanted was for her to be alive and well, get more screentime and possibly have a girlfriend.

when directly asked why they thought killing charlie was a good idea, jeremy carver said:

“That’s an excellent question, and it, it’s tough just because...any time you have a favorite character on a show...People die on the show. And, and, and...and, unfortunately...So...there’s so many ways to answer that. And I feel, I, I...it’s tough for me to answer. She’s an absolutely beloved character, beloved on the show...And when we’re in the writer’s room...we have to go where the story takes us. And we try and do it without, um...(insert fans booing and the cast laughing at him)...this is the world day of my life. And I’d like to thank everyone up here for the support.” (they were not helping).

not only did he not have a clue on how to answer a question that should have an understandable answer, but then the best thing that he could come up with is “we have to go where the story takes us.” but why would that possibly be where the story takes you? if supernatural had more diversity than straight white males and possibly one woman that dies or is evil, then fine kill off whoever you want even if i don’t like it. but it becomes a gender and sexuality issue when she is not only the only recurring female character at the time, but also the only recurring lgbtqia+ character at the time (minus cas).

now the second time she’s died. mind you this isn’t our world’s charlie. they brought her back for the fans and for the cast/crew that love her and felicia. we’ve established that she’s here living her life someplace. we haven’t heard anything about her for a hot minute, and then they decide to bring her back for 15x18. i was thrilled! i could not wait to see her, and was even more excited when she showed up on my television. and then, even better, we found out she has a girlfriend who she lives with and is clearly happy/comfortable with. and then what happens, may you ask? her girlfriend, stevie, a queer woman of color, vanishes. boom another unnecessary lgbtqia+ and woman death that could have been avoided if they just wrote in sam and dean calling her for help.

later on in the episode, everyone on earth excluding dean, sam, and jack are gone- completely vanished where they stood. charlie of course is among those people. bare with me here, i know everyone vanished and it’s not the same as the first one. but here’s my issue with it: she did not have to come back. i would have rather had donna say “jodie, the girls, charlie, they’re ready to go when you need them”, and then they all vanish off screen. but instead they went through the trouble of bringing her back, showing her happy, having her experience a painful loss, and then disappear anyway. what was the point in having her in the episode?

like i mentioned earlier with dean being representation for bisexual men, charlie was just that for lesbians!! the amount of posts i’ve seen on multiple platforms talking about how much they resonated with charlie or how heartbroken they were no longer having representation on their favorite show is awful. there was a kickass nerdy, kind, strong, loving lesbian on your show not once but twice (au charlie), and you blew it.

Claire + Kaia (Dreamhunter)

this part isn’t going to be long because there are some exceptions: wayward sisters failed spinoff (i’m still heartbroken i want it so bad), kathryn newton’s new status and inability to be in the show, etc.. so i guess this will just be a short thing about wayward sisters and what that could mean for claire and kaia.

they had already established in supernatural that kaia was claire’s first love. we had gotten some really cute scenes with them, and then wayward sisters was finally a possibility. if the show had gone through, which i’m not sure why it didn’t, claire and kaia’s relationship could have been a goldmine. young girls could see themselves represented by characters already adored by supernatural fans. it would’ve shown a beautiful wlw relationship between two young girls who are also kickass and can keep up with their elders/male counterparts.

i can’t pin this on the writers sadly (lmao), but i am still upset that we didn’t get wayward sisters. it would’ve meant a lot to women and to the lgbtqia+ community.

My thoughts

like i said in the disclaimer, i love these characters and the story of supernatural. i always will. but i can’t lie about how frustrating it is seeing women, lgbts and people of color get constantly disregarded and mistreated. the writers had 15 years to get with the times, and the growth of society. stuff that i saw in season one and wasn’t surprised by should not still be happening in season 15. having writers that are all straight white males/women is not enough anymore. it never was. there has to be something for everyone in a show as big as this. it’s not about meeting diversity requirements, it’s about actually having diversity because it’s real. there are no diversity requirements for people in society. these are just people of different races, ethnicities, sexualities, genders, etc. who want to see someone like them represented on the things that they watch. it’s a lonely feeling not being validated by a show that you love.

i might make another post specifically for the women mistreatment and queerbaiting on this show but that’s all for my essay on why supernatural sucks at not mistreating their queer characters :)

#supernatural #spn #spn 15x18 #dean winchester #castiel #deancas #destiel #charlie bradbury #claire novak #kaia nieves #wayward sisters

15 notes · View notes

thegayagenda-forkids · 4 years

Text

Why Cami is important, and why we need more of her types of characters.

While everyone is watching the Cartero/Tennis Boyfriends storyline, as well as Elena’s story and Gabi’s story, I want to talk about the only openly gay character at the moment (Episode 7/8), Camilla, but to really get to talk about her, I have to dive a little bit into the history of gay characters in comedies.*

**I’m only including gay characters in comedies because otherwise my list would be too long to be able to dive into, and this post is going to be mostly about Cami.

So, the first openly gay character to appear on American TV is Steve, played by Phillip Carey in 1971 on “All in the Family.” He appeared for only one episode, but he opened the door back when being gay was taboo, and wrong, and he wasn’t killed onscreen or beaten up. In fact, he was played straight, in a way. Throughout the episode, the main character is speculating about several other men being gay, while Steve was described by that character to be “a real man’s man.” It’s at the end of the episode where Steve comes out to him, dismisses the rumors about the other men the main character suspected, and then he was never seen on TV again. And his appearance is so important because it challenged stereotypes of what gay men on TV were, and where it was appropriate to see these topics. He opened the door for more gay characters to show up.

However, it was a bit of a double-edged sword because for the next several years, the gay characters we saw were “very special episode” characters, approached the same way these characters would approach cancer, or drugs, or addiction. They were a sensitive topic people need to know about, the episode will be less funny to show the full gravity of the situation. But, gay people were seen on TV.

Slowly, people start accepting that gay people exist, and while they might not wish direct harm on them, the general attitude was still very anti-LGBT rights. So gay characters shifted on tv and they were no longer sensitive topics to approach, but a minor/recurring character who was overwhelmingly male, flamboyant, stereotyped to hell, and typically, the “Gay Best Friend.”

The true turning point, in my opinion, was Ellen DeGeneres on “Ellen.” She was the main character of her show, personally in the process of finding herself and coming out, and then deciding to have the character she played come out in a serious, but relatively humorous way. There was backlash, her show didn’t last much longer after that, and overall, she took a huge risk. But she started the first step of the process: character first, sexuality second. She wasn’t defined for being gay like every other person, with potentially the exception of Steve, was up to this point.

But Steve and Ellen served different purposes. Steve de-stigmatized the idea of gay people appearing on TV by only revealing he was gay at the end. He only appeared for one episode, let everyone see how throughout the episode, he was the opposite of gay men they built up in their mind, and then only let the hammer drop right before vanishing forever. Ellen went through four years of people getting to know her, she was the principal main character, and then she came out after. Steve allowed gay people to be shown more on TV, Ellen allowed us to get to know them.

Then around that time, let me just say this: “Friends” was pretty problematic with several issues like the character of Ross and how Chandler’s birth parent transitioning, but there was one thing that was pretty well handled and relatively holds up, and that’s Carol and Susan. Now, by no means was their portrayal and representation perfect, and Ross frequently made jokes revolving around the fact that his ex-wife was a lesbian, but they were never jokes about Carol being wrong or weird, but rather self-deprecating ones, and then the show went on to show them raising and co-parenting a young boy with Ross and they even had the first lesbian wedding on TV, and, at least in my memory, they were never sexualized, meaning that they weren’t created to be objects of mens’ desires, they were simply in love and trying to lead fulfilling lives with each other.

And now we go from the sidelines all the way front and center with the original airing (not the reboot) of “Will and Grace.” The main character was an openly gay man living with a straight woman, who had a gay and an ambiguous, but potentially, bisexual best friends (Jack and Karen). And boy, was this show the first of it’s kind. Will wasn’t portrayed as flamboyant and taking on a stereotypical job, but rather the respected position as a lawyer, owning a nice apartment, and him being gay was only used as a fact while he dated men throughout the show. People at the time earnestly believed Will and Grace would get together in the end by how un-stereotypical and “not gay” Will acted.

But acting as his foil was Jack, perhaps the most flamboyant character to ever grace TV screens. He was loud, overly dramatic, cared too much about his appearance, and his goal was to be an actor. And he wasn’t automatically Will’s boyfriend because he was also gay. He was Will’s closest friend, a confidant, and though he could be an asshole, Jack was true to himself, even if his true self was every gay stereotype shoved into one body while Will got to break those stereotypes by being a well developed and well rounded character.

From there, Gay characters are a mixed bag. Normally in tv shows marketed for people 16 and up, not for children, and typically as side characters. We get our Kurt Hummels, our Mitch and Cams, our Oscar Martinezes, and all these others. They’re occasionally the main character in a cast, most of the time the side characters, and they’re varied. They’re also more visible, and they’re popping up more and more. Now, I’m not even going to get into Brooklyn Nine-Nine in terms of Queer representation because I could go on for days about how they’ve got it, and go into the similar media and target audience.

I’m, of course, talking about “Good Luck Charlie.”

Now I know, I KNOW! It was one episode where there were two moms that showed up for a play date. But it was one of the first kids’ shows to show a gay couple, and by kids, I mean that it’s marketed for people under 16 as well. And it was also pretty well addressed. The parents are wondering how to separate the couple in order to hang out while their toddlers played at the same time as arguing over who was the child’s mother since they each only met one. And when they open the door to Cheryl and Susan, they greet them normally and the only acknowledgment that comes is the father hitting his head like he had forgotten a word and saying “Taylor has two moms,” simply settling the argument about who was Taylor’s mom. And the rest of the episode was just about the parents trying to make friends but being annoying people until Susan and Cheryl fake headaches to leave. The episode treated them not as a “Gay Couple,” but rather a couple who happened to be gay. Not even Modern Family 10 years after the pilot can act like that.

And I KNOW you guys are waiting for it: Cyrus Goodman and Thelonious Jagger Kippen. I bet if I were to take a poll right now of who’s Disney’s first openly gay character, at least 90% of people would say it’s Cyrus Goodman. He was developed as his own person first; this adorable, quirky boy who loved his two best friends more than anything and would get over-enthusiastic for anything they did or he decided to pursue, and he went through panic, then he came out to Buffy. It’s also impressive that for Disney’s first gay main character, they didn’t have him already self-assured that he’s gay, but rather figuring it out and terrified when he came out to Buffy. He was afraid of what she’d think of him, what she’d say, and how their friendship would continue, which I touch more on *here.* At the same time, T.J. is also developed from a bully and antagonist to one of Cyrus’s newest, closest friends. He faces homophobic microaggresions while developing feelings towards Cyrus until he finally finds the courage to confess and start something new at the last episode. The fact that T.J. didn’t come out as gay until the last episode does not diminish his worth as a gay character. He was groundbreaking too because he is the first gay love interest in a Disney Show (and I mean mutual, because otherwise, that title would go to Jonah Beck and I’m not sure he can be counted as canon anything).

And now everyone is focusing on Bobby and Liam on “Diary of a Future President,” which is what the writers are shooting for, but we cannot forget about Cami! She is a form of casual representation that we need more of in writing. There was no marketing for her by Disney as a gay character, and she portrays a realistic representation. She mentions her girlfriend, makes small comments like “you two are hetero goals,” and lets us glimpse into her life. And she doesn’t take over a room like Jack does, she’s there for Cami, and has a good relationship with her kids, as proven by Gabi trusting her to pick up Bobby and Liam from Jupiter. And then the significance of Cami freeing Bobby and Liam from a storage closet is something I touched on earlier *here*.

So why is Cami important? Because she is the casual representation we want and deserve! She’s not a big deal on the show, but she also not diminished. She doesn’t need to make headlines to be important. She’s real, and believable, and I’m hoping there’s more of her as well as characters like her. Casual representation is important too, and it’s important because she’s not the only queer character on the show, and the other queer person isn’t her love interest.

Hopefully I got my message across that Cami is the next step of queer characters in shows.

#diary of a future president #doafp #cartero #tennis boyfriends #andi mack #andi #ambi #jandi #cyrus #t.j. kippen #jamber #jonah #tyrus #marty #jonah beck

132 notes · View notes

dr-who-said-lgbtq-rights · 3 years

Text

i, a fan of superwholock, dissect and give my opinion on the individual shows

idk i thought this would be fun and i currently have 4-5 hours to kill soooo

let’s start with

doctor who

(only new who. i have not seen the older stuff :( )

k. so. i have been a fan of this since i was pretty young. honestly i think i was a little too young to be watching it when my mom first showed me it but that’s beside the point. basically: i really like dr who

this is probably the best show out of superwholock, both in my opinion and in general. however... i am going to be nitpicky bc why not

1. the canon.

(yes the example is abt a dr who episode)

in short, the canon is comprised of a) retcons and b) contradictions. im not an avid follower of canon with any media but good god nobody can keep up with dr who canon

(i am blaming moffat bc i hate him and i think a lot of it is his fault anyway)

2. representation

honestly, the representation isn’t bad. however, i would describe it less as “good” and more as “a good starting point.”

for example, there is quite a bit of queer rep, POC rep, and a lot of characters are women. however, while this is nice, the show could still use a lot more rep, and the rep it has currently should probably be improved upon (for example: jack harkness is NOT straight, but he falls under the “multi-spec person wants to screw everyone” stereotype (i have not seen torchwood so this may be amended in that i just needed an example off the top of my head)).

3. story

some people yearn for romance. i yearn for the days when the doc would take their companion to some party, flirt with a tree, the companion almost dies while britney spears is playing in the background, etc. etc.

basically, the story starts out nice. just a bunch of goofing off, maybe a “big deal” thing here and there. life was fun.

then, the story changes. (this happened specifically from eleven onward, so yeah you can bet your ass im blaming moffat ‘cuz it’s his fault) things gradually became less fun. conspiracies ran amok; just when you thought it was over, turns out there’s an even bigger part of this plan that what you just defeated. the doc actually started caring about the timeline (what happened to time being wibbly wobbly?) sure, there are still fun episodes where the doc and the companion(s) go out for funsies but it’s just not the same as it was.

4. morals

morals are good. basically:

you can have a dark past but still have a bright future, and

be kind

bonus 5. cowardice

at least one of the doctors played by one of the male actors should have worn a dress. there were plenty of opportunities but noooooo there’s a gender binary or something (like,,, they’re an alien????? if gender on gallifrey is the same as gender on earth i am going to fly to britain and drop kick some writers)

OVERALL

needs work, but p good and enjoyable.

~~~

now it’s time for

sherlock

just. um. ohhh boy. basically

but i am going to do my best

1. representation

eugh. representation was baaaad in this. like, i think the only POC in the entire show that had any significance were the Chinese gang members and that is like,,, incredibly poor rep. i think the innkeepers in thob were gay but that’s as far as queer rep goes. there were a few women, i would die for all of them, we need more women. also the “im a high functioning sociopath” line makes me cringe everytime

basically this show had shit representation

2. john

okee he’s a great character right??? the common sense of the operation right??? wrong

he cheated on mary??? and we don’t address it like,,, at all??? it made me so fucking mad.

(again fuck you moffat and gatiss probably had something to do with it too so im mad at him as well)

3. sherlock

classic “let’s make him a bitch” mistake. needs the stick surgically removed from his ass

4. story

story’s actually not that bad. it’s not like, great or anything but i enjoy it

bonus 5. ending

i just want to address it. i think the ending was p good and yall tjlc-ers are just upset that they didn’t bang or anything. they’re literally living in the same [two-room] flat??? and they’re raising rosie???? TOGETHER???? like what more do you want

anyway sherlock’s ace soooo

OVERALL

eh. needs LOTS of work. i love mrs hudson tho, she’s beautiful

~~~

and finally

supernatural

ohohoh. boooyyyy.

(plz forgive me this is so shitty but i threw it together in like,,, a minute)

1. story

aight so the first five seasons? p good. not much to say there

the other ten? the skill level of the writing went wayyyyyy down but i still enjoyed it

2. representation

this show is notorious for bad rep and for good reason. kevin, our beloved prophet and the only recurring asian-american character? dead. charlie, so nerdy and fun and also a lesbian? dead. castiel, the angel who was totally gay? dead. basically: if you find yourself in spn and you are not a straight white man, etc etc, you are going to a) die or b) die but in a worse way

3. mythology/treatment of religions

okay so. a while back i had a wicca/witchcraft hyperfixation which was closely followed by a general pagan religions hyperfixation, so i know some stuff here and there abt religions.

and good golly does this show make me MAD

why is christianity the central and most powerful religion? (i know why, it’s a rhetorical question) why do you demonize the other religions?? (again it’s rhetorical)

one thing that really annoys me is when they say something is a “pagan god.” like,,, do you know how many gods that contains??? if you didn’t know, a religion is considered pagan if it isn’t under the abrahamic religions umbrella. what are the abrahamic religions, you ask? well, they are christianity, judaism, and islam. literally every other religion ever is a pagan religion. so, when they say “it’s a pagan god,” i cry.

back to demonizing... they literally made a greek muse eat someone. my greek mythology phase ended a long time ago and i didn’t really get into the muses but i am p sure they didn’t eat people. also the fact that it makes hoodoo look dark and stuff when it’s actually more abt peace and healing... i bet ten dollars it’s because hoodoo was created by enslaved african americans

there are so many examples of this show disrespecting religions... i just can’t

4. general notes

(for you himym fans: *saluting* general notes) (sorry i couldn’t resist)

-the filler episodes/episodes where random shit happened were the best

-the finale memes are *chef’s kiss*

-god there’s so much abt this show that i can’t even choose bc my brain is overloading

-am i glad amara wasn’t ganked at the end of s11? yes. am i happy about the dean/amara kiss? gods no

-john winchester 🤝 steven moffat: getting a spot on my “fuck you” list

OVERALL

there is just. so much improvement needed. however if there is an absolute shit show with likeable characters i tend to gravitate to it

~~~

and for funsies let’s talk abt superwholock as a whole

-honestly im a sucker for crossover fandoms. if you scroll far enough on my blog you may find my rotbtd fanart.

-it’s honestly just a fun idea

-there’s a lot of ways you could make it happen and all of them are fun

-great opportunities for rarepairs so rare no crackshipper has thought of it

~~~

aight that’s it. thank you for reading! if you have any questions abt my opinions abt other aspects of the shows just ask, i like talking abt this

#dr-who-said... something #as a side note: if you wanna hear abt pagan religions just ask #i may not be fixated on it anymore but i still find them interesting #superwholock

1 note · View note

poledancingsquid · 4 years

Text

Wicked Game Fanmix

Look I said I’d make this in 2018 and then life was A LOT but I finally finished it today and frankly it’s still my absolute favourite BFU fic.

If you haven’t read Wicked Game go read it ( and send your adoring praise to @mephsation ) If you’re swerving spoilers do NOT read the rest of this yet bc boy am I about the quote the shit out of my favourite fic and also I’ve written a brief summary of every chapter in case people have forgotten.

If you don’t want to read my reasoning and just want the songs here’s a Spotify playlist

So Chapter one: Shane’s just joined the precinct, when Ryan works out the scene they’re at was by a copycat rather than the Lover Shane responds by just saying “You’re Brilliant.”

We’re gonna be friends- The White Stripes, it’s the beginning of Ryan impressing Shane and they’re already conversing easily, honestly this is the chapter I struggled to find a song for the most.

Chapter two: This is where we meet Jess for the first time and find out about her and Shane’s relationship. It’s also when Ryan establishes that the copycat is shorter than the killer so the song I picked was

Looking up- Paramore, granted this is entirely down to the first lyrics being “Things are looking up oh finally” but it’s a banger anyway

Chapter three: This is when Ryan gets the first email. Ryan also nearly gets stabbed and Shane shoots a suspect, the copycat writes ‘he’s not good enough for you’ in blood.

Chic- Leadley primarily for “We could last forever she could last all week” Jess is so sure she’s better suited to Shane than Ryan is.

Chapter four: The second email arrives, explaining that the Lover has killed a man for the first time, the man looks like Ryan.

One More Murder- Better Than Ezra “One more murder in this town don’t mean a thing” which is what Ryan tries to convince himself after a lookalike is murdered.

Chapter five: This is where Ryan first realises he has a crush on Shane, it’s also the chapter with the press conference where the Lover’s sexuality is raised and when Shane admits he’s questioning is sexuality sending Ryan into a slight spiral based on his fear of being outed.

Would you be so Kind?- Dodie I’m not sure who’s POV I think this applies to more at this point.

Chapter six: This is the chapter where Ryan apologises to Shane for his reaction to him coming out, it is also the chapter where an LAPD officer who is the exact same race as Ryan and looks like him is killed, Ryan throws up.

Fear and Loathing- Marina and the Diamonds This is mostly in relation to Ryan’s fears about coming about though I suppose could also be applied to the whole serial killer killing people who are very similar to him thing.

Chapter seven: This is when Ryan and Shane go on their Not! Date that is definitely a date, it ends in their first kiss and Shane blowing him on the couch “Please don’t make me regret this”.

Brilliant Mind- Furniture throughout the fic Shane is constantly fascinated by how ‘brilliant’ Ryan is and this chapter epitomises that. “ You must be out of your brilliant mind”

Chapter eight: Ryan tells Shane about the homophobia he’s experienced in the past, Jess finds out they spent the night together “woke in an empty bed aching for a presence he has no business missing”. Shane is helping a friend clean their apartment so he goes to meet Jess at a bar and gets spiked.

Far too young to die- Panic! at the disco I went with this song because essentially it’s a recurring theme that Ryan almost dies also the obsessive nature of the verses fit in with Shane’s behaviour “ I've never so adored you, I'm twisting allegories now,I want to complicate you, Don't let me do this to myself”

Chapter nine: This is when Ryan wakes up in the hospital, Shane starts to behave oddly and just says he is working on a theory, he also invites himself over to take care of Ryan, Ryan discovers the cleaning supplies in a publi bin. The chapter ends with Shane revealing that Jess is the copycat and the bombshell of “Schmidtt thinks I’m the lover”

If I lose it- Charlie Simpson A little because of the medical stuff at the start of the Chapter a lot because Shane seems so scared for Ryan and ultimately the uncertaintly at the end of the chapter “ I can't tell you what will happen, To us as the days passed, Please just stay with me.”

Chapter ten: Shane plays the recording of Jess, Ryan plans to spend a night with Jess despite everyone telling him not to. Shane begs Ryan not to be scared of him “no more innocents” Jess texts him that she is going to kill someone if he doesn’t come to her immediately, he locked both their guns in the safe so goes unarmed.

Pressure- Paramore this is frankly one of the most stressful chapters to read because Ryan commits dumbassery after dumbassery and I think this embodies that intense STRESS feeling very well

Chapter eleven:Jess is arrested, Shane almost shoots her in full view of the bodycam, Ryan gets shot and Shane is going on trial to ensure Jess pleads guilty.

Coming Down- Halsey This is where Ryan starts to see a possible darker side to Shane “I found the Devil, I found him in a lover, And his lips like tangerine, In his color coded speak”

Chapter twelve: This is when it’s officially revealed that Shane’s a murderer, he stands by no innocents killing Leo Tayler with an axe after he caused the deaths of his children.

Monster- Paramore “ You were my conscience, so solid, now you're like water We started drowning, not like we'd sink any further” this is the point at which Ryan’s conscience is starting to slip (even if it’s giving Shane more of one)

Chapter thirteen: With no more murders they are eventually taken of the Lover case Jess’s trial is over quickly and she pleads guilty, Shane’s trial drags on, Ryan finds out he killed a criminal in one of his first weeks on duty, he’s found not guilty, Ryan sees Shane at the firing range and says that he wants Leo to be dead, he gets home from work to find Shane in his LAPD uniform. The head is delivered to Ryan

Crazy=Genius- Panic! at the Disco, this is a bit of a summary of Shane’s character throughout honestly but also this really feels like the turning point of no return, Shane would do anything for Ryan including murder, and it’s through his ‘genius’ he was found not guilty.

Chapter fourteen: As they investigate Leo Taylor’s murder Ryan begins to suspect Shane, this is where he quizzes Shane, discovers a knife in his home that isn’t his, later whilst investigating the deaths of sex wokers Ryan runs into a building without back up, Shane shoots Douglas and Ryan basically asks him to kill Murray

One Little Lie- Simple Creatures because at this point Ryan basically knows Shane is a murderer he just gets very good at lying to himself “I tell myself one little lie and the pain don’t phase me”

Chapter fifteen: So basically whilst fucking Shane Ryan thanks him for killing Douglas and then he bites him until it draws blood because Shane asked him to/ They manage to book a holiday eventualy, Ryan finds out Shane has a ssecond phone and saves the number. They go literally everywhere Ryan loves: Knotts Berry Farm, A Lakers Game, Disneyland there’s a car crash and Ryan stops to save the victims. Shane admits he wouldn’t have stopped. When they’re due to return to work Shane leaves early. When Ryan gets to work there’s a rung on his desk and email from Shane. He tries to call him on both phones “ I would’ve said yes”

Already Gone- Kelly Clarkson look when I started this playlist this was the only song I was certain was fitting for this particular part of the story because in his own way Shane is trying to protect Ryan by leaving. “ And I want you to know, You couldn't have loved me better, But I want you to move on, So I'm already gone”

Chapter sixteen: Shane watched him for ten years. Ryan remarries after moving to Chicago although he still wears Shane’s ring around his neck. Another killer goes after him. Shane finds out and it culminates in his shooting Weber. Ryan instantly knows it’s Shane and makes a come hither motion.

I felt younger when we met- Waterparks Ryan has had the guilt of hiding what he knows about Shane for a decade, he still cares about him but it kills him inside “ Do you see, You're the reason I can't sleep?, Lose it where your head should be”

Chapter seventeen:Ryan and Shane meet in a bar, Shane tells him the names of everybody he killed, they go home together after Ryan tries and fails ot arrest him, Shane chokes him until he’s either unconscious or dead and turns himself in the next day

Pompeii- Bastille This chapter is straight up just dark nostalgia (which frankly you can inject into my veins) “And if you close your eyes, Does it almost feel like nothing changed at all” In the dark between my sheets

#Wicked Game #buzzfeed unsolved #buzzfeed unclean #fic #fanmix #shyan #shanexryan #shane x ryan #skeptic believer

30 notes · View notes

ohholyfanfics · 4 years

Text

Just for a moment| T.Holland 0.1

Just for a moment:

Requested: yes/no

Song(s): Just For a Moment by Olivia Rodrigo & Joshua Bassett

Summary: the one where both their hearts are mended when the lights are shinning brightly.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Original Character

Charlotte liked to think that she was more than prepared for this role when the phone call came from her agent that she had been casted. The role was everything she ever wanted and a way to help her break out as an actor, she wasn’t that little girl who started out on Disney channel back when she was fourteen, no she was now twenty-two and ready to break free of that child star image. She knew this was big break she was waiting for, hell her whole team knew that this part was written for her. Naturally it was no shocker when her manager Aline had gotten the call for Cal (Charlotte’s agent) that she has been casted as Gabriella Silvers, for CW’s newest drama Secrets.

“Trust the process..” was what Cal had said the moment Charlotte had waltzed in his office. He knew at that moment that she was a top contender for the role, but he also knew that she didn’t knew to know that. As a great of an actor that she was, Charlotte had her struggles here and there. Their had been many roles that she had turned down in thoughts of finding the perfect one to break her from the child star image. “The right one will come Charlie..”

It was only a matter of weeks later that Cal was handing her the script after she had finally gotten down with her recurring role on Riverdale. From that moment on she just knew that the part of Gabriella was written for her, and from there she was set. It wasn’t long before the auditions had begun. The producer that personally called for her, knowing she was first pick but wanted to give others a chance. Charlotte had walked into the room with a confidence that captured both the producers and screenwriters of the show. It was a no brainer that she was the Gabriella they were searching for.

Suddenly when she stepped foot through the casting department doors, it all seemed to fade. The amount of confidence she radiated that day, was shadowed by the amount of nerves that played out as she took her seat. Today was the first read through of the script for the pilot episode that would area two weeks before the official start of the season of the show. It’s was also the day where she would find out who would play Tom White, from what she gathered he was a witty character and someone who would potentially be a live interested for her character. Charlotte heard many rumors of potential actors to play this part, but the moment her eyes locked with hers it seemed as if all excitement was throw to the curb.

Tom walked into the room not knowing what to expect, this was his first time ever acting in a series. He knew it wasn’t as fast pace as most movies were and that the process wasn’t nearly as draining. Harrison and Zendya were a huge help in providing advice for the first timer, what he wasn’t prepared for was to see her. He didn’t know much about the series other than it was a spin of some show titled Gossip Girl and Pretty Little Liars. Most of the casting was kept hidden which he understand, yet he didn’t expect to see her here. The moment their eyes locked he felt the same wave of emotions hit him a like a ton of bricks, suddenly he didn’t feel like he was in a room full of people. The look in her eyes took him back to the first time they first met, to the time he was sure she was the one.

Tom chewed on the inside of his cheek as his assistant brought him back and quickly ushered him to his seat, which was undoubtedly across from hers. He watched as she twirled the pink highlighter in her hand looking everywhere but at him. His eyes never once left hers, not during the introductions and certainly not when the producers announced that at any moment any of them can be replaced. All Tom cared about in that moment was getting her alone, even if just for a moment.

The room was quiet as they observed everyone, it was no doubt that they had hand chosen the most perfect group. The amount of chemistry between Charlotte and Tom was undeniably as the screenwriters and producers sat on the edge of their seat. The amount of clear joy and pride was written all over their faces as the called a break before finishing of the second half of the script.

“I need to go to the bathroom..” Tom mumbled softly to his assistant who nodded their head waving him off with short instructions to be back within ten minutes. Tom quickly moved his way across the room in hopes to reach her.

“What is Tom..” she breathed softly voice laced with an emotion he couldn’t read. That was one thing he didn’t miss, her amazing way to hide whatever she was feeling, than again it was ironic since she was an actor.

“I thought maybe we could, I don’t know talk?” He breathed out as she smiled softly and looked up at the ceiling. Charlotte didn’t know what there even was to talk about, her and Tom where never really friends. In fact she didn’t even know what to call what they were, the only thing she was ever sure of was her feelings.

“There’s nothing really to talk about..” she whispered as interns walked the halls catching site of them. She didn’t want to talk, she didn’t need to feel the pain she felt again. All that Charlotte wanted was to give her best and finally break through of the Disney curse.

“Charlie please..”

“Tom there really isn’t nothing to talk about. Nothing never happened, you made it very clear to me. I’ve moved on, and I’m more than positive it’s nothing but over for you as well.” she mumbled suddenly feeling too hot. Taken one last look at him she gave him a small smile before heading back in the direction of the room.

Tom watched as she walked away from him for the second time in his life. This was the second time that Charlotte Silvers had walked away from him without little him express himself. Tom never got the chance to explain to her what he was feeling but most importantly he never got the chance to tell her that he was utterly and completely in love with her.

That was the thing, Tom didn’t just love her. He was completely and utterly consumed by her, Charlotte was everything and more that he had ever wanted. She was the one that was slowly captivating him little by little without even knowing it, in fact Tom thought it was all so silly. He knew so little about her, but he knew just enough to lover her. Sure he didn’t know the big things about her, but he was willing to learn them all. God, he’s still waiting to learn them all, he just hopes that this is just the beginning of him proving that she’s all he ever wanted and much more.

#Tom Holland #Tom Holland imagine #Tom Holland imagines #Tom Holland fanfic #Tom Holland fanfics #Tom Holland oneshot #Tom Holland oneshots #Tom Holland one shots #Tom Holland one shot #Tom Holland smut #Tom Holland fic #Tom Holland fics #Tom Holland x you #Tom Holland x y/n #tom holland x reader

52 notes · View notes

erlendbv · 3 years

Text

The Emotional Toolbox

I recently discovered the Emotional Toolbox, which is a model for developing characters and stories.

The Character Map consists of a diamond that consists of a few different characteristics and acts to help map out a character. Here I will try to summarize my main take-aways from this method.

More below the fold.

Question 1: The Character’s Mask

Among people who know you but do not know you well—what is the biggest misconception about who you are? What do people say about you in the loo or bathroom if they want to dismiss or belittle you?

The mask is “the greatest misconception” others have of your character. It is the image we project. It is our façade.

The Character’s Mask is:

The false face (or false self) the character wears or projects in public;

The character’s protective outer shell;

The image the character uses to hide, deny, camouflage or “mask” his or her greatest fear.

The character’s mask is the superficial “first impression” of the character. This is how the movie or television audience first meets the character in the beginning of the story. It’s also the general impression the other characters in the script have of the character. This false impression gradually will be pealed away.

Question 2: The Character’s Fear

What was your greatest childhood worry or anxiety? This is a non-specific generalized fear. What would keep you awake at night as a kid if you thought about it too much? What was a recurring dream or image that scared you?

The character’s fear drives, fuels or is the force behind the character’s mask. The character tries very hard to hide, deny, bury, camouflage or ignore this fear. Be specific. Get to the real essence of the fear.

For example: “the fear of death” might really be the fear of abandonment; of being separated from loved ones left behind. Or it might really represent being overwhelmed by a powerful supernatural force. What does “death” actually mean to the character? What does “death” feel like?

The Character’s Fear is:

How the character believes he or she is or might become unloved or unlovable.

The inner doubt or dread the character must face in order to live in his or her true self (and not the false self of the mask).

How the deepest anxiety or worry prevents the character from making a Leap of Faith toward the true self.

Whenever you are having trouble with a scene, a sequence or an act, ask yourself— How is the character’s fear manifesting itself in this situation?

How is the character denying, avoiding, camouflaging or hiding the fear? How is the character trying to cope with or manage the fear? How is the fear tempting the character to get into trouble? How is the character facing the fear? Or, how is the character surrendering to or personally manifesting the fear? Fear isn’t just a prime motivator of protagonists. When antagonists do terrible or extremely evil deeds they are most often motivated by fear. Giving the audience a glimpse of the antagonist’s fear humanizes him or her and makes this character a more complex and fully realized individual in your screenplay.

Question 3: The Character’s Strongest Traits

What are your strongest traits? What is your crutch in hard times? What personal traits get you through when the going gets tough? What traits do you lean on? What do other people admire about you?

The Strongest Traits are a source of false pride for the character. They offer a false sense of security. These traits never alleviate the character’s Fear. They are simply a coping mechanism to attempt to keep the fear at bay or under control.

In a script we should meet the character just as this mechanism is breaking down. The character’s fear is beginning to outstrip his or her ability to manage or control it. Something happens to kick this process off and the story starts.

The Character’s Strongest Traits are:

The traits the character believes are his or her salvation.

The traits the character relies on to get out of trouble or “fix” problems caused by the Trouble Traits.

The traits the character leans on and uses as a crutch instead of making the Leap of Faith.

The traits the character has to a fault.

The traits the character must surrender.

A character’s greatest strengths are always his or her greatest weaknesses.

The ways the character tries to appease or compensate for the fear only feeds the fear and makes it grow stronger and more powerful. When the character surrenders the Strongest Traits they don’t just disappear. They simply operate more appropriately in the background. The character won’t cling to these traits as a crutch to try to fend off or deflect the fear. Instead, he or she will turn and face the full force of the fear head-on.

Question 4: The Character’s Most Admired Traits

These are traits you do not have. They are, however, traits you really admire in someone else. When you see these traits in someone else your heart leaps a bit and you wish you could have these wonderful traits yourself. These are not skills or talents they are personality traits.

This answer is a list of traits the character most admires in others. It is the manifestation of his or her truest highest self.

A character never admires something that is not already present in nascent or seed-like form inside him or herself. When the character witnesses the evidence of goodness in others it sets off a sympathetic vibration inside the character. This stirring deep inside the character is the powerful human longing to move toward what is best and true in the self.

The Character’s Most Admired Traits are:

The seeds of goodness that are buried deep inside the character.

The expression of the character’s truest highest most authentic self.

The character’s real self, whole, complete and healed.

The (admirable) person the story is calling the character to become.

Embracing the Admired Traits compels the character to make a Leap of Faith.

Becoming an admirable person filled with truth and integrity is one alternative ending to a screenplay. If the character makes the Leap of Faith (by surrendering the strongest traits and facing the fear) the script ends with a successful emotional journey.

This ending is not necessarily a “happy ending.” For example: A movie character may lose his life but regain his faith like Father Damian does in The Exorcist. Or a character may lose his fortune and liberty (by going to jail) but gain integrity and respect like Bud Fox (Charlie Sheen) does in Wall Street. Although this ending might not be happy it feels emotionally satisfying and complete.

Alternatively, if the character cannot make the Leap of Faith, the character eventually falls to the Dark Side. This is tragedy and the other possible ending to a screenplay.

Question 5: The Character’s Trouble Traits

What are the traits that get you in trouble? Sometimes, when things are going reasonably well, this is what will muck it up. This is the way you most often get yourself in hot water with loved ones, co-workers, authority figures or friends.

This answer is a list of the character’s Trouble Traits.

These Trouble Traits are how the character sabotages him or herself. It is how the character falls into self-limiting emotional traps. These are the ways the character succumbs to the antagonist’s fear-inspired temptations to behave badly. The character’s Trouble Traits are the root cause of his or her problems with self and with others.

The Character’s Trouble Traits are:

The combination of traits that make up the character’s Achilles heel.

The traits that the antagonist exploits to push, prod, lure or tempt the character into acting like a fool or against his or her best interests.

The traits that make the character fall into or create emotionally destructive situations.

A character always is or her own worst enemy.

The smart and savvy antagonist simply preys on the character’s fears and then goads or tempts the character into behavior which causes the character trouble, alienates others, complicates already difficult problems or makes a bad situation worse.

A character’s own inner demons are a much more effective force of destruction than any external force exerted by another. Giving your character authentic Trouble Traits will make your character more venerable, complex and interesting. The audience identifies much more closely with fear-inspired troubles than with troubles caused by alien forces outside the character.

Question 6: The Character’s Dark Side

Think of someone you cannot abide. This is someone you know well or someone you’ve observed briefly— it is a person who has actually passed through your life and not an historical or celebrity figure. When you met or observed this person, the hackles on your neck rose and you had a visceral response of intense dislike. What were the traits that this person had that set your teeth on edge?

This answer is a list of traits that make up the character’s Dark Side.

A character dislikes most in others what he or she potentially dislikes most in him or her self. The seeds of destruction inside the character resonate when the character sees bad behavior in others. This behavior, witnessed in others, produces a flash of anger and intense dislike. It is a visceral response of negative identification coming from deep inside the character.

Does the character fall to the Dark Side?

The Dark Side is the place to which the antagonist lures the character. Remember that classic cheesy moment in action adventure films when the antagonist leans across the table and says: “You and I are more alike than you want to admit.” If the antagonist and the protagonist share the same fear then this is psychologically truth. And, in fact, the character’s own Dark Side is often the Mask of the antagonist.

The Character’s Dark Side is:

The seeds of evil or disaster deep inside the character.

The collection of traits that the character dislikes most in others (and would despise most in him or herself).

How the character sinks into his or her lowest, most selfish and/or worst self.

The end result of clinging to the Strongest Traits and failing to make the Leap of Faith.

This is the type of person the antagonist is calling the character to become.

When a character repeatedly falls into the traps of the Trouble Traits and tries to compensate by relying more heavily on the Strongest Traits the character cannot make the Leap of Faith. Instead, he or she goes round and round driven (and eventually is consumed) by his or her fears.

When we live in our Mask driven by our Fear we become the thing we hate. When a character becomes a hostage to fear he or she inevitably falls to the Dark Side. This is the second possible alternative ending to a screenplay. It is the definition of tragedy. Click Here to go to this other possible ending to the story.

Continuing the Mapping Process

All story structure should come from character. Film structure is not a stack of plot points that the character climbs. Character defines action. Character is film structure.

Once you’ve completed the mapping process from beginning to end, you can take apart the diagram and re-structure it as a non-linear narrative, a feature film, a sit-com or a one-hour drama.

Act 1

The Beginning Of The Story

In the beginning, the Fear drives the character to create his or her Mask. The Mask is not the character’s real self, it is the persona the character uses to hide, deny or “mask” his or her fear. The character is reasonably confident that he or she is hiding the fear very well.

The movie audience meets the character’s false persona at the beginning of the story and makes certain assumptions about the character. These will be proven wrong. Something happens to upset the character’s balance or to initiate some kind of change in the character’s life or situation. Suddenly, it is just a little more difficult coping with or managing the fear.

Every story or script starts with a flawed character driven by his or her fear. It is a mistake to make a character too good, too likable or too self-aware at the beginning of the film or television series. The character has no place to go. There is no real journey and little room for change or transformation.

The Want

The character immediately identifies something he or she desires or wants. The character begins to put all of his or effort into obtaining some very particular concrete, and often, selfish or self-centered goal.

This goal is something real, graspable and very tangible. It is something the character can obtain or acheive physically: seduce the woman, sell the stock, solve the crime, win the tournament, reveal the mystery, get the promotion etc. It is NOT an abstract or amorphous general desire.

The character hurls pell mell after this concrete goal. A gap opens or a turning point event occurs and there is no going back. A door closes behind the character. He or she is compelled to move forward in determined pursuit of the want. The character is then propelled into the Second Act or middle of the story (where myriad complications ensue.)

The Character’s Want is:

A clear simple ego-driven goal.

A physical embodiment of the character’s selfish or self-centered objective.

An objective or object that is real, concrete and graspable.

An objective or object that must eventually be surrendered along with the character’s Strongest Traits.

The want is always an actual “thing.” It is something specific that could be obtained with a bit of concerted effort. For example: a new car, money to pay the rent, a girlfriend, the prize trophy, etc.

The Character’s Want is NOT an abstract concept. For example: be a better person, be a better parent, become more tolerant, become more forgiving, be more honest, trustworthy or responsible.

Act 2

The Middle Of The Story

In the middle of the story or screenplay the Character’s Fear causes problems. Strengths become Weaknesses and the character is pushed or tumbles into a variety of traps. Act Two of the script is where the conflict really develops. The character pursues the Want using all of his or her Strongest Traits. But a character’s greatest strengths are also his or her greatest weaknesses. The antagonist spots those weaknesses and preys on the character’s Trouble Traits. The most clever and effective antagonists use the character’s Fear to prod, push or propel the character into acting foolishly. The character inevitably stumbles into a series of emotional traps (self-limiting or self-harming situations set-up by the antagonist).

The best antagonists create situations or circumstances that tempt the character to become his or her own worst enemy. The Strongest Traits are always a source of fabricated or false self-confidence for the character. They offer the character the illusion of security and control. The character believes he or she can obtain the Want using these reliable time-tested strengths. But the character’s ability to cope with, manage or assuage his or her fear is now under siege. As the traps and obstacles increase, the character’s Strongest Traits can no longer stem the tide. The character is less and less able to cope with, manage or compensate for the Fear. The character tries to retreat into the dark comfort of his or her Mask but a truer desire calls the character toward the light. The Want and the Need begin to do battle within the character.

The Character’s Choice

By the end of the Second Act the character stands at a critical juncture. He or she teeters on the precipice of a crucial decision. The character’s Want conflicts irreparably with the Need. Which (the Want or the Need) will the character sacrifice or surrender? Will the character choose to live in the false self and the illusion of security of the Mask? Or will the character make a Leap of Faith to embrace the truest highest self? What is the ultimate price the character will pay for either choice?

The Character’s Need is: A deep inner longing of which the character is unaware, denies or ignores. True goodness that is buried deep inside the character. A set of authentic traits which will make the character feel whole, complete and healed. The Need is a more abstract intangible set of internal qualities or Admirable Traits. For example: to be more honest or open, to value real relationships over popularity or prestige, to forgive one’s self and/or others, to love more generously or less selfishly, to act with integrity or to grow up and take responsibility for one’s actions. The Need is a deeper human longing for what is good and true.

The Price

Every story ever told is about the battle between the selfish goals of the world (the Want) and the more altruistic values of the spirit and the desire for real human connection (the Need). Will the character choose the Want or embrace the Need? Each choice comes with a terrible cost. The price is laid out in the ancient words of Biblical Scripture: “What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul?”

The Price the Character Must Pay is: The terrible personal cost of obtaining the Want and abandoning the Need. OR The terrible personal cost of abandoning the ego-driven goal or Want and embracing the Need. If the character chooses the Want he or she inevitably surrenders to the fear and falls to the Dark Side. The story ends in tragedy. If the character embraces the Need, he or she finds completion. This may or may not be a happy ending but it is one of emotional satisfaction and wholeness. Which price is the character willing to pay? The character must ultimately pay one price or the other. The more expensive the price is for your character the more compelling and urgent your story will be for your audience.

The Comedic Turnaround

When a character surrenders the Want and embraces the Need sometimes the Want turns around to meet the character. This happens often enough in life that we believe it in a comedy. For example: A young couple has a solid marriage, good jobs and a comfortable home. They plan to start a family. They try and try but nothing, no personal method or medical procedure, works. What they Want is a biological child. Finally, they embrace what they Need: to be parents to a child who needs them. They adopt a beautiful baby and are deliriously happy. What happens one year later? Answer: The wife gets pregnant. The Want has turned around to meet them. Warning: This doesn’t always happen. It is only an occasional surprise. Surrendering the Want and embracing the Need can’t be used as a clever tactic or cynical strategy or it will feel false. The character must be truly willing and feel fully satisfied to abandon the Want and walk away from the table. The comedic turnaround is only possible by completely embracing the Need. This turnaround is always a totally unexpected reversal for the character.

Act 3

The Price

The most important element at the end of the story is the price the character pays for his or her choices. The Price is the audience’s pay off for watching the character struggle. The Price must be staggeringly expensive for the character in order for the audience to care deeply about the story or the film’s outcome. The higher the price the more audience cares.

The Price the character must pay is:

The personal cost of turning away from the Want and embracing the Need.

The personal cost of turning away from the Need to pursue the ego-driven goal or Want.

Which price is the character willing to pay? The character must ultimately pay one price or the other.

Hard Choices Make Great Stories

When your character faces two impossible choices the audience is riveted. The more daunting you make your character’s dilemma the more affecting his or her ultimate decision will be. Make your character’s potential rewards enormous and make the price paid for those rewards staggering. Give your character a real struggle between a want and a need.

What the character Wants is a clear simple ego-driven goal. It is something he or she can physically grasp or obtain. The Want is a finite object of the character’s personal desire. It is something concrete that would gratify or benefit the protagonist individually.

What the character Needs is an inner longing that the character is unaware of, denies, suppresses or ignores. It is a deeper more intangible human yearning. To embrace the Need the character must abandon specific selfish goals and address more far-reaching human concerns.

What is the personal cost of obtaining the Want or object of desire? What is the personal cost of embracing the Need and living one’s highest, truest, most authentic values? Which Price is the character willing to pay? What is the character willing to sacrifice to obtain the Want or embrace the Need? The tougher the choice is, the better the story.

Act Three offers two possible story endings based on the character’s choice. The script can end in (1) tragedy or in (2) transformation, renewal and completion. Great screenwriting is creating a dilemma that forces a character to struggle with his or her values. Great screenwriters put impossible choices before their characters and make their characters pay a devastating price for their choice.

Tragedy

If the story ends in tragedy, the character choose the Want over the Need. The character uses the Strongest Traits to try to solve the problems or to dig his or her way out of the hole created by the emotional trap of the second act. (What happens when you try to dig your way out of a hole? It gets deeper.)

The character has to escalate his or her actions to obtain the Want and becomes more like the Antagonist. The character “fights fire with fire.”

A character who won’t surrender his or her Strongest Traits can’t make the Leap of Faith at the end of the second act. The character’s actions increasingly are driven by his or her Fear. A character who is consumed by Fear can’t help but eventually fall to the Dark Side.

The Leap Of Faith

The Leap of Faith is:

A leap the character must make against logic, reason, practicality and good judgement.

Trying something new rather than relying on the Strongest Traits.

Letting go of the Mask and surrendering the Strongest Traits.

Becoming open and vulnerable instead of trying to deny, hide or control the Fear.

Asking for help instead of trying to handle everything using the Strongest Traits.

Being totally and completely oneself without apology, justification or excuse.

Accepting and being satisfied with one’s self as one is.

Facing the Fear (of not being good enough or not having enough) instead denying or hiding the Fear (by living in the pretense of the Mask).

At the beginning or the script the character cannot imagine what it would be like to live without his or her Mask. The character can’t imagine having the traits most admired. The character is driven by fear to do more, be more or have more. When the character makes the Leap of Faith he or she accepts him or herself. The character fully and completely lives into his or her own inner potential. The character believes he or she is enough.

Character Transformation

The character who makes a Leap of Faith and surrenders his or her Strongest Traits finds emotional completion. He or she surrenders the things of the world and embraces the things of the heart, the soul and the spirit.

The character lets go of the Want and embraces the Need.

The character confronts his or her Fear.

The character achieves authenticity by being him or her self and being fully satisfied with that state of authentic being.

The Life Lessons

The conflicts in the story give a character the opportunity to learn the lessons needed to make a Leap of Faith and live a more authentic and balanced life. Unless a character learns these lessons he or she will never be able to face and transcend his or her fear. The Life Lessons teach the character to embrace what is really important. They are the lessons of the heart, the soul and the spirit which help the character get in touch with his or her highest and truest self.

The Character’s Life Lessons are:

The lessons the character must learn in order to embrace his or her inner Need.

The lessons the character must learn to let go of the ego-driven Want.

The lessons the character must learn to become whole and complete.

The lessons the character must learn to become the (admirable) person the story or the script is calling him or her to become.

In making choices and pursuing a line of action a character has the opportunity to learn what he or she really Needs. If the character simply presses onward toward what he or she Wants and ignores the Life Lesson, the character takes a step toward the Dark Side. In learning the Life Lesson the character takes a step toward becoming his or her truest highest most authentic self and is transformed.

#dramaturgi

4 notes · View notes

aion-rsa · 3 years

Text

The 25 Best SNL Holiday Sketches

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

The holidays are a special time around 30 Rock. While tourists flock to see the towering Christmas tree, the Saturday Night Live writers room is busy thinking of holiday sketches you’ll reminisce about as you put up the stockings for years to come. Some of SNL’s all-time great sketches illustrate the best of the holiday spirit or lack thereof as show’s biggest stars often shined the brightest just before the New Year.

From unlikely Santas to unorthodox gift-giving, we’re looking at 25 of our favorite Saturday Night Live holiday sketches. We’ll be going in chronological order here. There is a big dose of modern stuff in there, but what can I say? The show might be more miss than hit these days, but they really hit it out of the park year after year with the Christmas sketches.

Santi-Wrap (1976)

Very early in the show’s run, we get this classic where an adult woman (Laraine Newman) is all about sitting on Santa’s lap like when she was a little kid. The initial laugh is that before sitting down, she puts pieces of toilet paper on Santa’s leg for protection, like one would do in a public bathroom. Dan Aykroyd, her companion on this trip, seems shocked by this. Not that she’s trying to protect herself from germs, but because she’s not going far enough!

Suddenly, it turns out to be a commercial for Santi-Wrap, a festive and plasticky take on toilet seat covers. Not only do those two sell the product concept so well, but John Belushi as the mall Santa pushes it further by coming off as a complete disaster of a man who is probably riddled with disease.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

One of the show’s all-time best line deliveries is Belushi’s drunken, “Ho ho ho…” which has both defiant gusto and the sense that he’s seconds away from vomiting all over himself.

Mr. Robinson’s Christmas (1984)

Saturday Night Live has been a stepping stone to superstardom ever since Chevy Chase became a household name during its first season. In the 80s, Eddie Murphy’s recurring roles on SNL helped raise his profile as he eventually became one of, if not the biggest star of the decade. It was around Christmas time when Murphy’s spin on Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood became one of the sketches that came to define his tenure at Studio 8H.

Mr. Robinson’s neighborhood isn’t quite as nice as Mister Rogers’ but at Christmas time you have to make the best with what you have. Mr. Robinson was able to do that with a chunk of lettuce and a headless doll and Murphy was able to make the most of every opportunity he had on SNL.

It’s a Wonderful Life: The Lost Ending (1986)

If you’ve seen the 1946 American Christmas classic It’s A Wonderful Life, odds are you’ve been inspired by its heart-warming ending. Thanks to SNL and host William Shatner, we now have footage of the “fabled” lost ending to Frank Capra’s Christmas epic and it’s anything but heartwarming. Rather than end the film with everyone coming to George Bailey’s aid in his time of need and celebrating his lifetime of selflessness and kindness, it decides to give Mr. Potter a fate more explicit than being doomed to failure and loneliness. Phil Hartman pops in as Uncle Billy and not only remembers what happened to the missing money, but knows exactly who has it!

Dana Carvey makes the sketch as a George Bailey hell-bent on revenge. It just wouldn’t be Christmas without seeing him give Mr. Potter a beat down alongside his bloodthirsty loved ones.

Master Thespian Plays Santa Claus (1987)

Jon Lovitz’s characters were usually very hammy by design. Whether he was a pathological liar or the Devil himself, he always went to 11. One of his better recurring characters was Master Thespian, a scene-chewing Shakespearean actor who takes himself and his roles far too seriously.

In this installment, he would be playing the role of a mall Santa Claus.

Thespian doesn’t seem to have heard of Santa, but he’s down for the part. Finding out that there’s no actual script, he improvises and figures out the character via making mistakes and getting scolded by the Macy’s manager (played by Phil Hartman, choosing to base his performance on Frank Nelson because why not). To his surprise, Santa Claus actually LIKES children! These are notes a performer needs to know, man!

Seeing him play off the kids and Hartman is a blast. Speaking of which, one of the better gags is a fart joke that somehow proves how great an actor Master Thespian truly is. THANK YOUUUUUU!

Hanukkah Harry (1989)

Santa Claus (Phil Hartman) is violently ill with the flu, so it seems Christmas might be cancelled. Luckily, there is one man capable of fulfilling his obligations through the same kind of holiday magic. Hanukkah Harry (Jon Lovitz), Santa’s Jewish counterpart, is called in to help.

At its core, it’s a lengthy sketch about Jewish jokes and how lame Hanukkah is outside of it lasting eight days. Springing off of that, it actually makes for a really good, if a little touching, holiday story. There are definite laughs in there, but what was created to be a parody hits a little too close and becomes a genuine gem celebrating both holidays and the spirit of togetherness.

“On Moishe! On Herschel! On Schlomo!”

Motivational Santa (1993)

What started as a pep talk for troubled teens turned into Chris Farley’s iconic recurring character. Matt Foley, the thrice-divorced, sweaty, overweight man who lived in a van down by the river, crashed into our living rooms in 1993 and remained a fixture on SNL until Farley was fired from the show in 1995.

Sometimes a sketch is so successful that the writers are almost forced to bring one or more of its characters around again and Matt Foley was no exception. In one of the funnier times Matt Foley returned, he was hired to spread Christmas cheer as a motivational mall Santa, offering up this gem:

“‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the van Your ol’ buddy Matt fell asleep on the can. His children were nestled two time zones away, With his first wife and her husband, in sunny L.A. Matt woke up and realized with a chill and a quiver That he was living in a van down by the river!“

Though many of the same jokes and physical gags are recycled, Farley’s effort, from the painfully high pitch of his voice to crashing down the chimney, earns the Motivational Santa a place in SNL Christmas lore.

Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah Song (1994)

Yes, we’ve heard Adam Sandler’s “The Hanukkah Song” a million times over, but we shouldn’t let that cloud our judgement. It’s one of the first clips that pops into your head when you think “SNL Holiday Sketches” and it will go down as a landmark moment when the history of “Weekend Update” is written 200 years from now. Sandler didn’t use his time to evoke images of being a Jew at Christmas, rather he chose to praise the Festival of Lights and name-drop all the famous people who celebrate it. Since debuting the song in 1994, Sandler’s updated it for his comedy albums and standup routine and given Jewish kids something other than “The Dreidel Song” to belt during during the holidays. Sandler’s clever, original moment is about as influential as it gets for any not-ready-for-prime time player.

It did lead to the movie Eight Crazy Nights, so it isn’t free from sin.

TV Funhouse: Fun with Real Audio (1997)

It’s rare for SNL to get poignant, but here’s a fantastic example. In this animated short, Jesus Christ returns to Earth and spends the first opening minutes being ignored and shoved into the background for disagreeing with televangelists who use his name to line their pockets with donations or to justify their hatred of homosexuals. These bits are, of course, animated over actual audio of said real life sociopaths. Jesus is able to give them their just desserts with his divine magic, but it bums him out.

Walking the city streets, unnoticed by the public at large, Jesus watches Christmas-themed TV through a store window and is disappointed with what he sees. That is, until he comes across Linus’ speech at the end of A Charlie Brown Christmas and we get a final moment that’s adorable, uplifting, and pretty hilarious.

NPR’S Delicious Dish: Schweddy Balls (1998)

The dry, NPR-host banter between Ana Gasteyer’s Margaret Jo McCullen — who cheerfully admits that she leaves tap water and rice out for Santa because “Christmas foods really wreak havoc on the ol’ digestive system” — and Molly Shannon’s Teri Rialto as they discuss delectable Yuletide “balls” with Alec Baldwin’s Pete Schweddy is a can’t-miss skit. The trio makes monotone an art form, while remaining dedicated to the naivety of the characters involved. (In response to Alec Baldwin’s, “But the thing I most like to bring out this time of year are my balls,” their faces barely twitch.) It’s double entendre at its finest, and never fails to leave me in stitches.

Pete Schweddy returned in another episode where he introduced the women to his hotdogs, but having them show so much interest in putting his wiener in their mouths was a little too easy a joke to pull off.

I Wish It Was Christmas Today (2000-the heat death of the universe)

On one December episode, there was a short segment of Horatio Sanz, Jimmy Fallon, Chris Kattan, and Tracy Morgan playing a catchy, albeit incredibly stupid song about Christmas being on the way. Sanz played a skinny guitar while singing, Fallon occasionally pressed an elephant noise button on the keyboard, Kattan held the keyboard while shaking his head, and Morgan danced with a look on his face like he got dragged on stage against his will. It was silly and would have probably been forgotten soon after.

Instead, they returned a week later and insisted on playing it again despite being explicitly told not to. Soon they would start playing it during non-December months to show Christmas’ superiority over other holidays. After Simon Cowell insulted the group, he sheepishly agreed that he wanted to join them and broke out some maracas. One year, when Sanz was the only one left in the cast, he replaced his buddies with Fozzie Bear, Gonzo, and Animal while Kermit the Frog danced in a way that you have to wonder if a Muppet is capable of snorting coke.

The song still gets brought out now and then, usually on Fallon’s show. It’s even been covered by Julian Casablancas and Cheap Trick of all people!

They did sing a completely different Christmas song one time, but nobody cared.

Glengarry Glen Elf: Christmas Motivation (2005)

Alec Baldwin seems to be the go-to host for classic Christmas sketches. Playing on his iconic Glengarry Glen Ross character Blake, Baldwin (in a way) reprises the role as 615-year-old “elf from the home office” sent to straighten out the subpar work of Santa’s elves. There couldn’t have been a more perfect break in character than when Baldwin says “Always Be Closing” instead of “Always Be Cobbling” as scripted. It’s a slip-up that makes for a perfect holiday sketch, full of deep-bellied laughs.

TV Funhouse: Christmastime for the Jews (2005)

Not only is the witty “Christmas for the Jews” written by comedy legend Robert Smigel, but it’s sung by David Letterman’s Christmas angel Darlene Love. In “Christmas for the Jews,” the characters see “Fiddler on the Roof,” grab an early dinner, and enjoy dreamland Daily Show reruns. It’s an intriguing and catchy look at the other side of the Christmas season, complete with a very Rankin-Bass animation style.

Digital Short: Dick in a Box (2006)

Justin Timberlake is one of the most entertaining, versatile hosts that SNL has been gifted. A member of their prestigious Five-Timers Club, “Dick in a Box” is Timberlake’s most memorable sketch, filled with skeevy, disgusting come-ons from Andy Samberg and Timberlake, which has been viewed just millions and millions of times. In 2006, Timberlake had already impressed critics and viewers alike with his acting range in Alpha Dog, but his comedic turns on SNL solidified him as an actor. Timberlake has done a lot of impressive things in his time as an entertainer, but there are few more enjoyable (or laughable) than “Dick in a Box.”

These two R&B weirdos would return later on to sleep with each other’s moms as reciprocated Mother’s Day presents and later swear that being in a two-guy/one-girl three-way isn’t considered gay.

John Malkovich Reads ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (2008)

As quipped by the man himself, no one emits Christmas spirit quite like John Malkovich. This admission yields the self-reflexive irony of Malkovich reading “The Night Before Christmas” to the children of SNL’s staff. Malkovich, pausing during his reading of the holiday classic, asks the children about the suicide rate rising during the holidays, talking about how shooting a home invader in California is “perfectly legal,” musing about how the tonnage of Santa’s sleigh and reindeer would (scientifically speaking) burst into flames, how in Portugal their version of Saint Nicholas steals children’s toes, as well as reciting the gem: “You know what they say about hopes; they’re what we cling to when reality has left us nothing else.” If you’re in a lighthearted Christmas mood, Malkovich’s monologue is certainly one to enjoy.

Stefon on Holiday Travel (2010)

Bill Hader was highly respected for his versatility and range during his time at SNL, but it was his improvisational skills that turned a Weekend Update bit into a must-see recurring segment. Stefon, likely the defining character for SNL during the 2010s thus far, informed New Yorkers and tourists alike of the city’s hottest nightclubs – with Hader almost always breaking down in laughter as his cue cards were frequently changed from the rehearsal to throw him off.

Stefon knew how to get weird and you can imagine he’d save some fun things for the a “classic New York holiday.” Make sure to check out the Lower, Lower East Side dump hosted by Tranderson Cooper or find a club with the right amount of Puerto Rican Screeches or Gay Aladdins. Just don’t run over the Human Parking Cones.

Stefon would return with more Christmastime insight three years later, where he’d discuss a club called [loud Tauntaun noises], founded by Jewish cartoon character Menorah the Explorer.

Under-Underground Crunkmas Karnival (2010)

Good God, I wish there were more Under-Underground Records sketches. As a parody of the Gathering of the Juggalos, we’d regularly see DJ Supersoak (Jason Sudeikis) and Lil Blaster (Nasim Pedrad) excitedly talk up huge concert events that are needlessly violent and inexplicable in their randomness. For instance, there’s the Crunkmas Karnival, which features such musical acts as Dump, Boys II Dicks, Scrotum Fire, and…Third Eye Blind for some reason.

It’s just a bunch of loud humor that goes back and forth between being stupidly hardcore and being meekly out of left field. Yes, you can go check out a “dong tug-of-war,” but you can also see a special 2D screening of the Owls of Ga’hoole or meet Spaceballs star Pizza the Hut. Not to mention the return of their most fondly remembered running gag, the endless undying and dying of Ass Dan.

This Christmas-based event will take place in February. Sounds about right.

Ornaments (2011)

Every now and then, SNL will do a sketch towards the end of the show where the guest will talk about whichever holiday is coming up and awkwardly go into one of the aspects of it, such as Easter eggs or Halloween candy. In this instance, it’s Steve Buscemi unloading a box of Christmas ornaments and commenting on each one. All the while, Kristen Wiig plays Sheila, his girlfriend who appears to be more than a little off and doesn’t quite grasp tree decorating.

Buscemi’s descriptions range from delightful non-humor to outlandish and disturbing. He might make an intentionally lame joke about one ornament before holding up another and matter-of-factly letting you know that, “I put this one up my butt.”

And somehow he’s still the straight man in this bit.

You’re a Rat Bastard Charlie Brown (2012)

This sketch is centered on Bill Hader playing Al Pacino, playing Charlie Brown. The rest of the cast turns out bang-up impressions as well: Jason Sudeikis playing Philip Seymour Hoffman playing Pigpen, Kate McKinnon as Edie Falco playing Lucy (as Charlie Brown’s drug peddling therapist, causing a holiday-blues Charlie to say, “Oh yeah…I want something to take me sky high!”), Martin Short playing Larry David playing Linus, Taran Killam doing Michael Keaton as Schroeder, and Cecily Strong as Fran Drescher as Charlie Brown’s mother, all performed in front of a baffled childhood audience.

For anyone who grew up watching Charlie Brown and Co., watching Bill Hader/Al Pacino/Charlie Brown unleash the expletive-laden “You’re gonna hold that f***ing football?!” towards Kate McKinnion/Edie Falco/Lucy, and saying, “Ow, you bitch!” after she pulls it away is absolutely to die for.

Jebidiah Atkinson on Holiday Movies (2013)

For a time, Taran Killam played Jebidiah Atkinson, a Weekend Update character based on how an old newspaper editorial was discovered that panned Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. Atkinson, somehow still alive, would appear and read review snippets about other big speeches he hated.

One of his return appearances had him discuss holiday specials and movies. Every single one of them he hates. Every single one of them gets roasted. His vicious energy is so over-the-top that the good jokes land and the bad jokes still get a laugh from the misplaced confidence. Over these several minutes, he screams about how much of a depressing bore A Charlie Brown Christmas is, how the Grinch stole a half hour of his life, and how every time they play It’s a Wonderful Life, an angel blows its brains out.

This one is admittedly a bit dated with its biggest joke, where his distaste for Snoopy is so great that he wishes Family Guy killed him off instead of Brian. The horror from the audience still makes it worth it.

St. Joseph’s Christmas Mass Spectacular (2014)

Ah, Christmas Mass. The drum solo for every childhood during Christmas time. It’s uncomfortable and especially boring. Ergo, liven it up by framing it as a big, in-your-face event via what amounts to a monster truck rally commercial!

It’s a brilliant use of contrast. Take an event that is so mundane with so many familiar and shared experiences and treat it like it’s some extreme thing. The familiarity of the pastor making corny jokes that get the most minor of laughs is treated like a once-in-a-lifetime event. It shines a light on the weird tics of the prominent people you see at church and feels amazingly universal.

The SNL cast is fantastic here, but the MVP is Cecily Strong as the middle-age woman who is way into doing a reading in the loudest, most overly articulate speaking voice possible.

Sump’N Claus (2014)

Getting gifts from Santa Claus is great and all, but when you grow up, you realize how hard it truly is to be nice all year round. Luckily, there’s an alternative. Introduced via an extremely catchy song, we meet Sump’n Claus (Keenan Thompson), a pimp-like offshoot of Santa who not only used to work for St. Nick, but also appears to have some dirt on him.

Sump’n Claus sings several verses about people who have had breakdowns and would be thrown onto the naughty list. Sump’n Claus doesn’t care about that. You be you. Every December, he’ll still be there to hand you an envelope full of twenties and fifties. He’s the holiday mascot for adults, basically.

One of the highlights is how he mentions that Santa is not your friend as friends don’t watch you while you’re sleeping.

The Christmas Candle (2016)

Christmas has been saved by many different things: ghosts who see through time, an angel trying to earn his wings, a reindeer’s glowing nose, New Yorkers singing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” and so on. Then again, sometimes you need a savior for something with lower stakes.

In the form of a mid-1990s all ladies group that gives me kind of a Celine Dion vibe, we’re given a wonderful song that starts with the tale of a woman who had to get a coworker a gift for Secret Santa. She found an old peach candle in her closet and just gave her that. The second verse is a similar situation where not only is a peach candle given as a throwaway gift to an acquaintance, but it’s THE SAME candle. Yes, somehow this one peach candle is re-gifted across the globe through latter December by women and gay men who couldn’t be bothered to put thought into their presents.

Truly a miracle.

First Impression (2018)

Beck Bennett plays a guy about to finally meet his girlfriend’s (Melissa Villaseñor) parents and he’s nervous as hell. She assures him that he’ll be fine, but he really wants to impress them. Sure enough, he tries to impress them in the weirdest way by hiding somewhere in the house and speaking in a high-pitched voice in order to dare them to find him. Her parents (Jason Momoa and Heidi Gardner) are notably confused, as is she.

It’s already a strange and silly bit, but Jason Momoa shifts it into gear by suddenly being COMPLETELY into it. Removing his jacket with purpose, Momoa excitedly starts searching the house for this guy. The fact that Momoa is playing an overweight 60-year-old man is enough of a novelty, but he brings this oddball zest to the role as he starts to literally tear the home to pieces in order to get a look at his daughter’s elusive boyfriend.

The boyfriend’s plans here are both overly complicated and half-baked, culminating in an ending that’s as happy as it’s inexplicable and off-putting.

North Pole News Report (2019)

When Eddie Murphy returned to SNL, there was much fanfare. A completely solid episode, it admittedly spent too much of its runtime revisiting his old recurring classics like Mr. Robinson, Gumby, and Velvet Jones. The final sketch of the night goes full blast with his manic energy as he plays an elf eyewitness on the elf news, screaming bloody murder about a horrible tragedy. Mikey Day is reporter Donny Chestnut, looking at the destruction of a toy factory. As he tries to make heads or tails of what’s going on, Murphy bursts onto the scene, screaming about a polar bear attacking the elves and eating them like Skittles. And just screaming in general.

The best line comes from the elf (who keeps declaring, “IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT MY NAME IS!”) bringing over one of the survivors, and noting that, “This white, teenage elf girl ran out here, straight up to me – a black elf in sweatpants – and asked me to keep her safe. That’s how bad it is!” Despite this elf being right about the situation, Donny Chestnut keeps trying to sideline him for being increasingly erratic about Santa’s potential role in the slaughter and what it means for Christmas. Even as he trips over some of his lines, Eddie Murphy is so damn precious here.

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!

December to Remember Car Commercial (2020)

It might be in bad form to include a sketch from this very year, but man, this joke is not only long overdue, but the acting is top notch. Heidi Gardner’s barely repressed rage is something special.

You’ve seen the commercial a million times. It’s Christmas morning and someone reveals a brand new car to a loved one. As part of Lexus’ December to Remember, Beck Bennett reveals a brand new Lexus with a giant bow to his wife (Gardner) and their son (Timothée Chalamet). What initially appears as shock turns out to be fury and confusion over what is a selfish and short-sighted decision. Buying a car is a huge deal and isn’t something you don’t tell your significant other. More than that, Bennett’s character hasn’t been employed for about a year and a half and has no way of affording such a thing. The thread is pulled away, unraveling both how much of an idiot he is and how doomed their family life happens to be.

Then neighbor Mikey Day shows up and it hits another level. Beck Bennett is the expert at playing guys with misplaced confidence who haven’t come close to thinking things through.

The post The 25 Best SNL Holiday Sketches appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3raE4UF

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

2 notes · View notes

starr182 · 4 years

Text

@raspberrymama Here is is, chapter 1!

Summary: You’ve been hunting with the boys for awhile and your birthday rolls around. Crowley gives you a special birthday gift.

Pairing: Crowley x Reader.

Warning: Smut. Just 18+ please.

Word count this chapter 2066.

Let’s be honest, your childhood sucked; both parents, correction adoptive parents, were very abusive. You had an inheritance from your birth parents, but your fake parents wouldn’t let you use it. Nor did they tolerate you to have an opinion or personality. They felt kids should be seen and hot heard. So from a young age you dove into books and drawing the quietest hobbies one could have. The pain of this existence drove you to the enjoy the darker things in life, the moon and stars, mythical creatures, demonology, witchcraft. You learned a few spells or charms to protect yourself, you found that it came naturally to you. As grew older you started having recurring dreams about a large suspended over a pit of nothingness, writing on the bars and a soft glow of red and blue light emanating from within. You tried searching but you could never find anything that matched the writing, but then again you could never really remember it clearly once you woke up. You collected many books on lost languages which lead you down the road of the supernatural. Of course, you never thought the creatures you often read about were actually real.

One night while having dinner with the fake parents when three people broke in. Not people, they couldn’t be. Their teeth were razor sharp and they had too many of them. You hid under the table as your parent were butchered, their screams faded to gurgles as they choked on their own blood. Your mother fell to the floor as you watch the last light fade from her eyes. Two of the monsters leave but not before telling the third to make sure you were taken care of. She pulls you out from under the table and pulls you up to her face. You notice she isn’t much other than you. She tells you she’ll let you live but you have to promise her something. You have to get her away from the monsters that killed your family, that she wasn’t like them, they liked hurting people but she didn’t. You agreed and she let you go. It took you awhile but you held up your end of the bargain. And that is how you became a hunter.

***Time jump***

Those vamps were long since gone, the younger female freed. Your in your 30’s now and haven’t run or hid from monsters in years. You’ve embraced the hunter lifestyle with ease. A couple years back you ran into the Winchesters and they pretty much adopted you. You first met them when you were both working the same case and staying at the same shady motel. You noticed an Impala in the parking lot with the hood up and offered to help. Dean looks at you from under the hood and says “Yeah doll you could jump me. Uh I mean the car, the battery.” You both laugh as you decide to help them out, you pull next to Baby in your 67 Shelby GT 500 and Dean is impressed. You two hit it off right away and decided to work the case decided to make the team up permanent.

Hanging with “your boys” as you call them, meet all sorts of interesting characters; Castiel an angel of the Lord, a witch named Rowena, Charlie a nerdy hacker and your favorite by far, Crowley the King of Hell. You were always attracted to the darker things in life and you couldn’t get much darker than a demon who reins over Hell. He was suave, smart, sarcastic and nice-ish to you at least.

The first time you met Crowley you were on a hunt for some rogue demons with the boys. You were hold up in an abandoned house in the woods. They boys sent you on a food run and you came back with a couple pizzas, an apple pie, a case beer and a bottle of Jamison. You barge in the door and say “I got pizza, pie and beer.” Dean replies its about time sweetheart. Crowley, who doesn’t even look up from the map that Sam is showing him stated “You’re redundant darling. You don’t need to say pizza pie, everyone knows it’s a bloody pie. “Not redundant. Pizza comma pie. Pizza and apple pie…dumbass.” You reply. Dean almost chokes on his beer. “Oh feisty, I like her.” He replies as he looks you over. Sam tells him to back off as you just roll your eyes. The was the first job you worked with him, the first of many. After a few cases with you two busting each other’s balls, you started to like the guy, demon, whatever. You weren’t supposed to like the King of Hell, but you did. The boys would kill you if they found out. Well not literally but they WOULD kill Crowley. Of course, you couldn’t tell Crowley you had feelings for him. How the hell could he ever like you, a human, a hunter, a Winchester.

Its your birthday and you and the boys are hunting a Wendigo in Nebraska. They needed Crowley for something unrelated and have him stuck in a Demon trap on the first floor of this abandoned house. You come down the stairs and Dean informs you there was another death; that he and Sam have to run into town and that you would be babysitting the demon. After they leave you sit on the desk across the room from Crowley, legs crossed in your jean shorts, black tank top and purple plaid shirt. Crowley eyes you seemingly with boredom in his eyes. You decide to grab your duffle bag and drop it on the desk. “You wanna drink? Don’t worry, it’s not the swill my brothers drink.” “What’s the occasion?” He asks. “My birthday you reply.” He cocks an eyebrow as you pull a bottle and 2 crystal glasses from your bag. “hmm, what’s your poison?” You turn holding the bottle of Glencraig and you see a smirk grace his face. You pour a glass and hand it to him carefully so not to disturb the trap lines. You pour yourself one as he says “You can’t possibly be related to those two. You don’t have a bad bone in your body.” Ah fuck it you think as you down your glass, step over the trap line to face Crowley. You stand on your toes to whisper in his ear “If you play your cars right, you can be the bad bone in my body.” As you grab his crotch. Holy shit he’s huge. His eyes widen and jaw hangs open as you step back out of the circle. He’s speechless as he downs his drink too. He shakes the empty glass signaling a refill. You pour yours first then carry the bottle over to refill his. He backs up so you have to reach your arm over the trap line to pour. As you finish pouring, he grabs your wrist with his empty hand and pulls you to him. He plants his lips on yours as you bring your empty hand to his face to lightly touch his stubbled cheek. He pulls away from the kiss and looks down at you with those whiskey eyes “Let me out of this trap so I can give you your gift.” You shake your head “the boys would kill me” he replies, “No, they’d kill me. Later then Darling.” He smirks before leaning back down for another kiss. This one rougher than before; he bites your bottom lips, his tongue wrestles yours for dominance. His empty hand grabs your ass as he leans back towards the outline of the trap, its magic holding him up as would a wall. Just then you hear Baby coming up the driveway and detach yourself from Crowley and head back to the desk to sit down as if nothing happened.

Both of you grinning as the boys enter. Sam is carrying an ice cream cake while Dean carries a small package, “Happy birthday” they say in unison. Aw they did remember. Dean gives you your gift which turns out to be the latest installment in your favorite book series. Sam cuts up 3 slices of the cake, hands one to you and Dean and takes one for himself. “What about Crowley?” you ask. “What about him?” Dean asks. You stroll over to the trap and hand him your slice of cake with a wink and cuts another slice for yourself. Afterwards the boys get whatever they needed from him and release him, He winks at you before disappearing.

After another half hour or so of drinking you head upstairs to take a cold shower and head to bed. Sitting on the chair in your room is Crowley. “Took you long enough. I’m not a patient man, love.” “Sorry, didn’t know you were waiting for me.” You reply “I did say later didn’t I? Now come here.” He raises from his chair in the shadow and grabs you, both hands on your waist. He looks into your eyes before he teleports you both out of there to a dark bedroom with a large 4-post bed with black satin sheets. You can only assume this is his bedroom. The room smells of burning wood, leather, cashmere and whiskey; some of your favorite things. Is this on purpose or coincidence?

He allows you a moment to take in your surroundings before his attach begins. His lips seem to be everywhere at once; your lips, cheeks, ears, neck, jawline and collar bone. His hands explore your curves, your hands planted on his pert ass. He starts to nibble on your neck, but carefully so that he doesn’t leave marks. He pulls away and snaps his fingers and you feel cold around you as your clothes are now gone. You move to cover your breasts and women hood but he slaps your hand away, “don’t you dare, love.” He cocks his head to the side as he looks you over, a predator stalking prey. He smiles as he the pushes you back onto the massive bed.

He climbs on top of you and quickly kisses you while one of his hands starts to massage your breasts. You let out a small moan as he pinches and pulls on one of your nipples as he tries to gauge your preferences. He lowers his head and uses his mouth to play with the only. His tongue caresses it and uses his teeth to gently pull it. All the while watching your face to make sure you are enjoying every moment.

He drops his head lower between your legs and inhales your scent. The smell of you is rather earthy something vaguely reminds him of his childhood home. He pushes the thought from his mind as he dips his long tongue into your folds. You moan out his name in response. He licks from your clit down and into your entrance eliciting another moan. “Fuck, darling, you taste so damn good. You’re so wet for me already.” He plunges a finger inside of you causing you to moan, he adds another in response. His tongue works your clit as he pumps his fingers into you and out of you completely before diving back in again at a maddening speed. His other hand alternates between kneading your breasts and tugging your nipples. “Oh God, you feel so good.” Crowley stops, removes his fingers from you and lifts his head. “Don’t. Don’t ever call his name when you’re with me, love. Got it?! God’s not here.” “I’m sorry, I’m sorry Crowley.” You whimper as he resumes his onslaught against you. You quickly approach your climax as your clench around his fingers, bucking your hips up into his face as he buries his face further into you as you cum on him. He pulls away from you, licks his fingers and smiles, “you are delicious. I could live down there.” You blush as you crawl to him and kiss his neck. He pulls away and tells you to get dressed. Fuck, what did I do wrong? You think. After your dressed he poofs you back to the abandoned house. “We re you pleased with your gift?” he asks. “Yes, very, but I’d like to return the favor.” “It was a gift, not a favor, Darling. Happy birthday” He kisses you quickly then disappears. Best birthday yet.

4 notes · View notes

ambitionsource · 4 years

Note

What’s your guys favourite front nine character? favourite recurring character? And Adult character? And why?

Dearest anon, you should know that the moment I showed this to Katie and Es all three of us were like “oh no” because choosing a favorite is like. So hard. It’s like pulling teeth. It feels downright impossible, especially when it comes to the front nine. And yet, and yet, we will do it anyway. Thanks for the challenge!

Katie (co-producer)

Favorite Front Nine: Farkle. Look, this was a tough call, but obviously it has to be Farkle. I love him so much it's unreal, in every universe. I think his depiction of mental illness is really real and important and relatable. I know he's kind of a villain for a little bit there (maybe more of an antihero), but he's MY antihero and that's fine! Farkle Protection Squad coalition of one! His spiral into self-hatred and eventual recovery... yeah. Very important to me. I love him!

Favorite recurring: Yindra. No one is surprised. I love Yindra. Queen of confidence! Queen of talent! If I went to AAA, I would have the biggest crush on Yindra, hands down, because she’s incredible. Someone needs to be that iconic! Plus, her dynamic with Zay and Nigel... literally incredible. Everybody put some respect on my lesbian queen.

Favorite adult: Eric. I dunno if I really need to explain why, but I will. His compassion and understanding is one of my favorite things about him, and I love the way he works through the issues he and Jack face at the school. Plus his and Jack's dynamic... iconic. Love them. (It was a tough call between the two of them but I figure more people are gonna say Jack.) And him and Isa! 🥺🥺🥺 Best counselor award when?

Esther (co-creator)

Favorite Front Nine: Since maggie got to break the rules I will too. My favourites are Dylan and Isadora. Farkle and Charlie are close behind as I love their storylines and delving into their minds and mental headspace, but Isa and Dylan are definitely at the top and have very special places in my heart. Isa I’ve been attached to since gmw in much the same way maggie has been with Lucas, as she’s the only canon female autistic representation I’ve ever had and she provided some really relatable moments for me. I clung onto her and haven’t let go since. I also just love how complex she is and how much duality exists in her, most notably with being a techie and performer, but also the fact that she’s extroverted in some ways (performing, needing friends around her) and introverted in others (pushing people away, craving space and alone time). I could write a whole essay about her but I’ll save you the time and simply say I love her very much. Dylan definitely snuck up on me as a favourite character, but it was inevitable as I’m always drawn to loveable goofballs like him. He’s just so good natured and loving, he cares so much about his friends and would do literally anything for them and I love him for that. He’s also just really funny and pure and I’m lowkey in love with him rip

Favorite recurring: This is really difficult as there are so many incredible recurring characters. Maggie, Katie and I have talked about the fact that the show could easily have like twenty main characters with how entertaining and full of potential the rest of the a class are, but alas, every episode would be at least three hours long if that were the case. In the end I think I have to go with my girl Jade. She works so hard and makes literally amazing, beautiful pieces of ART on the regular, and is overlooked so much but still keeps on going and doing what she loves. She’s also just lovely and I love her dynamics with the other characters. She’s an integral part to the techie group, and the a class as a whole. Also, when Jade speaks up about something, you know it’s serious...

Favorite adult: Eric 100%. He’s always been my favourite of the adults, and I stand by that. He’s very similar to Dylan in a lot of ways so of course I’m going to be drawn to the lovable goofball yet again. I also love how much he cares about the students and the school and how passionate he is about them going on to be the best versions of themselves they can be. As an Isa stan I also adore their dynamic, and am very excited to explore it more in s3.

Maggie (co-creator)

Favorite Front Nine: I’m gonna say upfront that I’m breaking the rules on this one. I don’t care. I can’t do it, I literally cannot choose only one front nine. The shorthand answer is Lucas, Farkle, and Dylan, but all for entirely different reasons. Farkle is my favorite character to write story-wise, as exploring his arc and his development as essentially the pseudo protagonist has been one of the best parts of this experience. He is also my favorite performer in that I know if we could watch / listen to these performances, his would always be my favorite. There’s just... a je ne sais quoi. Then LJF and Dylan are my personal favorites, but like... for opposite reasons and vibes. I almost can’t even explain it. Like anyone who knows me knows LJF is deeply rooted in my heart and has such a precedence and importance to me (and this version of him in particular is so special to me), so there’s that. But then with Dylan, who really blossomed and came out of the woodwork with AAA and S2 especially, there is just such a warmth and brightness and love to him and writing his character that makes me so happy. It feels like home in some ways, like a comfort space, and he really represents what I wish more of the world was like -- optimistic, genuine, comforting. So yeah. No I’m not crying. Anyway... I feel I should also mention that Asher was close here as well, but his pitfall is that he’s unintentionally way too similar to who I am as a person GJDKFGJLKDSH so it’s harder to look at him from an objective angle.

Favorite recurring: This is tough too because I love the A class after spending so much time with them + developing their quirks and eccentricities, but I think I’m going to go with Nigel (with Jade as a super close runner-up). Nigel just has that perfect balance of coolness and wit that I find really enjoyable, but he avoids the pitfalls that Farkle falls into in that he’s also a very genuine and grounded person. I love so many of his one-liners, and I really enjoy getting to bake a little more of him and Jade and their dynamic into the upcoming season.

Favorite adult: This one, on the other hand, is easy. Jack. Jackson Hunter all the way. I love writing him, I love reading about him, I just love him. I love that he is this sharp (but necessary) contrast to most of the tomfoolery of AAA. I love how we come at him from an angle of expecting him to be almost heartless because he’s a practical realist, but then we see how much he cares about the students and the school in his own right. I love his clash with Eric and how that develops and grows into an even and essential partnership. I love his light sarcasm, his exhaustion, how he tries to do the right thing even when it feels impossible -- but that he also isn’t perfect, and slips up or bends the rules when he really feels it’s the decision he needs to make (mainly regarding Lucas). Which of course... I love his dynamic with Lucas. They are I think the most unexpected thing to come out of writing the show for me, but I am obsessed with them. I would rank them up very high in my favorite dynamics of the whole show, they’re that important to me. And I definitely know that that contributes to why I love Jack so much. I just think he’s neat. I love the man. A fave fave fave.

#Anonymous #aaa friday #ambition quarantine 2020 #really was so so difficult... please dont think this means we don't love the ones not listed here #bc we do. this was so painful i hope y'all understand GFJDKLGDSFH #we didn't even do it right and it was painful #ask the creators #answered

4 notes · View notes

setaripendragon · 4 years

Text

Trapped in the Amber - 1x04

Book 1 :: 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 So this has always been one of my favourite episodes. Charlie (SPN has such a problem with reusing names, oh well) is an amazing character, and she’s going to get a recurring role in this story, because I said so. Also, for once, I get to make the (dis)claimer that the opinions expressed herein by the characters (specifically about Charlie’s ‘secret’) are absolutely the views of the author, and I projected like hell all over this chapter ^^” (Some things really needed to be said outright and just weren’t in this episode and I’m still mad about it.)

Toledo, Ohio – Saturday 14th January 2006

“Now, the newspapers said his daughter found him. She said his eyes were bleeding.” Sam says.

“More than that.” The assistant replies with an indecent level of glee as he drew the sheet back away from the corpse. “They practically liquefied.”

Meira has to fight not to pull a face at the state the man’s face is in. If it weren’t for the lack of scorch marks, she would have thought… Well. There are no scorch marks. She’s honestly completely stumped by this, which doesn’t happen to her often. Angelic memory means she doesn’t really forget things, but unlike the angels that were created before time began, she does have to experience them first. And this? This is brand new to her.

“Any sign of a struggle? Like maybe somebody did it to him?” Dean asks.

“Nope. Besides the daughter he was all alone.” The assistant replies.

Which doesn’t really mean much when a good half of what they hunt is incorporeal, but it does at least rule out the other half. Maybe. She doesn’t think she’s going to be much help here. She lets the conversation about skulls full of blood and exploding eyeballs pass her by, and valiantly restrains a snort when the assistant makes them bribe him again.

She can’t really complain about his morals when their next stop is crashing a funeral. It’s the eeriest thing Meira’s ever seen, and she almost freezes in the doorway. She thought she was getting used to having her grace bound, to not being able to see people’s souls, to not knowing who they are, but this is just not something she’s prepared for. There’s no emotion here.

She knows there is, of course, knows that these people are feeling just as deeply as those at any other funeral she’s ever seen, but she can’t feel it, eddies of grief and sorrow heavy around her. It’s just air, hollow and empty and sickening. Swallowing hard, she follows Sam and Dean into the house, and then out back when a helpful old man points out the daughters. Meira hovers, watching Sam and Dean reassure the younger daughter that her father’s death wasn’t her fault.

Meira decides to stay downstairs while Sam and Dean go to poke around where the guy actually died. It’s a little easier for two people to be inconspicuous than three, after all, and she wants to talk to Donna and Lily a little more. She knows what it’s like to lose a parent suddenly, after all, even if hers aren’t dead. She coaxes Lily out of her guilt and gets her talking about school and her friends, and Donna gives her a painfully grateful look that Meira returns with an understanding smile.

Toledo, Ohio – Sunday 15th January 2006

Meira foregoes sleep to help with the research, but even after Sam passes out, they get nowhere. “Here’s something- Never mind.” Dean says. “Her name was Laura.” He rolls his eyes.

“Middle name?” Meira asks, because at this point, she’s grasping at straws.

Dean makes a thoughtful face and checks. “Middle name Nichole.” He reports, throwing the papers down with disgust. He stares at them for long enough that Meira goes back to ploughing through her own stack of records, so she’s startled when he asks “Hey, is Meira some sort of derivative of Mary?”

“No, actually.” Meira answers slowly, a little confused. “It’s Hebrew. It means ‘god’s light’ or ‘one who illuminates’. Mary is English, although it comes from the Hebrew name Miriam, which means ‘bitterness’.”

“Huh.” Dean grunts, and then, at her continuing look of confusion, shrugs. “Just curious. Never heard that name before.” He points out.

“Qaada picked it.” Meira tells him on impulse, and then wishes she’d just kept her mouth shut. She’s still not sure how much of her life she ought to share with him, really. It feels a little like she’s stealing from him somehow. One day, he’s going to be holding a baby in his arms, and he’s not going to tell Qaada to name her because it just feels like the right thing to do, he’s going to do it because he knows that’s how it’s supposed to happen.

Dean blinks. “Is Qaada Hebrew for ‘dad’ or something?” He asks.

“Close enough.” Meira agrees, which is as close as she can get to saying yes without outright lying.

Dean is distracted from questioning her further when Sam wakes up with a gasp. “Why’d you let me fall asleep?” He asks, voice raspy and hollowed out.

��Cause I’m an awesome brother.” Dean retorts. “So what’d you dream about?”

“Lollipops and candy canes.” Sam answers, completely flat.

Dean rolls his eyes. “Yeah. Sure.”

“You find anything?” Sam asks, when Dean doesn’t offer up an alternative topic of conversation. Dean catches him up on their complete lack of anything substantial, and Meira looks back down at her stack of papers.

“Whatever’s happening here, maybe it just ain’t Mary.” Dean suggests.

“Or maybe it’s new.” Meira offers, only to be interrupted by Sam’s phone ringing. Dean arches an eyebrow at her while Sam locates his phone, and Meira shrugs. “Look, you said yourself that this myth isn’t particularly rigid. There’s a lot of variations.” She points out as Sam answers his phone. Dean nods. “Well, then, maybe this is just another variation. Maybe her spirit went dormant for some reason, and we don’t have records far enough back? Maybe she’s not actually dead, she’s in a coma, or she’s a potential psychic with a fuck-tonne of issues?” Meira gestures vaguely in the air to indicate an entire world of possibilities, and Dean pulls a duck-face of annoyed acceptance.

“That was Charlie.” Sam says, flipping his phone closed. “She said there’s something she thinks we need to hear about.”

“Charlie?” Meira asks, although she’s already putting the records aside and grabbing up her coat.

“One of Donna’s friends.” Dean tells her, grabbing his keys and starting for the door. “She caught us checking out the bathroom and threatened to scream if we didn’t tell her the truth about who we are and what we were doing there.”

“Oh, awesome. I like her.” Meira announces in delight.

Dean snorts. “Yeah, she was pretty freaking ballsy.”

“I told her to call us if she saw or heard anything weird or unusual.” Sam adds as they climb into the Impala. “She sounded really freaked out on the phone.”

The meet Charlie on a public green, and she tells them about Jill’s death in between trying not to cry. About half way through the explanation, Meira gives in, sits down beside her, and puts an arm around her shoulders. Charlie glances at her, tries for a smile that doesn’t really work, and finishes up her explanation. “And they found her on the bathroom floor, and, uh- her- her eyes, they were- g-gone.”

“I’m sorry.” Sam murmurs.

“And she said it.” Charlie adds in a rush, as though pushing herself to get the words out before she falters. “I heard her say it. But it couldn’t be because of that. I’m- insane, right?” It’s almost a plea.

Meira remembers what happened last time she dropped that bomb on someone, and looks to Sam, eyebrows raised. This time, she’s leaving it up to him so he can’t bite her head off later. Sam looks back, lips pursed and resignation written all over his face.

“No, you’re not insane.” Dean says, when neither Meira or Sam move to actually reassure the girl.

“Oh, god.” Charlie breathes. “That makes me feel so much worse.”

Meira gives her a comforting squeeze. “At least now you know there is an explanation.” She points out, and Charlie looks at her with her brow all crumpled up in distress and confusion. “People aren’t just dropping dead for no reason. Something is doing this, and we can stop it.” Charlie does seem to take some comfort in that, sniffling and nodding.

“We could use your help with that.” Dean adds, and after a moment of wide-eyed staring, Charlie nods again.

Then she helps them break into a teenage girl’s room. A dead teenage girl’s room, but still. Ballsy as hell. Sam asks her how she managed to get the room to herself, and she explains the lie she spun for Jill’s mom. “I hate lying to her.” She mutters.

“But you’re good at it.” Meira comments, and Charlie shoots her a stricken look. Meira winces. “That was meant to be a compliment, I swear. You’re confident, not just ‘you know how to act confident’, but you knew what you needed to do, and you did it, no matter how distasteful. Takes a strong person to hold onto that sort of conviction.”

“Oh, I guess.” Charlie hedges, shrinking in on herself a little. “I just don’t want anybody else to get hurt, that’s all.” Meira gives her a pointed smile, and waits for her to realise all by herself exactly what she just said. Charlie blushes when she catches up.

“So I don’t get it.” Sam says suddenly while checking the mirror for ectoplasmic residue. “I mean, the first victim didn’t summon Mary, and the second victim did. How’s she choosing them?”

“Beats me.” Dean replies, then glances at Charlie. “I want to know why Jill said it in the first place.”

“It was just a joke.” Charlie says, uncomfortable and defensive.

“A joke?” Meira echoes incredulously.

Charlie looks at her and then away. “We were talking on the phone, and she- I don’t know, she thought it was funny that I was… that I thought it might have been something…” She trails off uncomfortably.

“She was mocking you.” Meira realises, unimpressed.

“No!” Charlie says at once, and then falters. “Well, maybe a little, but… God, it would have been kind of funny if it wasn’t real.” She complains, wrapping her arms around herself and looking miserable.

Meira has her doubts about that, but she doesn’t voice them. “Yeah, well,” Dean sounds sceptical too, but he doesn’t push the subject either, “somebody’s going to say it again, it’s just a matter of time.” He points out ominously.

“Hey.” Sam says, leaning out of the bathroom. “There’s a blacklight in the trunk, right?”

They get the blacklight, and find a name written on the back of the bathroom mirror. Meira’s going to go out on a limb here and say that’s probably a clue. So then it’s off to the library to research the name, and Charlie tags along. This turns out to be a good thing when she figures out the connection between Jill and the name Mary had written on the girl’s mirror.

“We need to go back to your friend Donna’s house.” Dean says, and off they go.

Finding the man’s wife’s name on the back of the mirror is kind of sickening, and Donna clearly doesn’t like the implications of their questions, either. “Yeah, Linda’s my mom, okay? And she overdosed on sleeping pills. It was an accident and that’s it.” She insists. The silence following that pronouncement is damning, and Donna can hear it too. “I think you should leave.”

“Do you really believe that?” Meira asks, before she can push the issue.

Donna rounds on her, furious and scared. “What are you trying to say?!”

“I’m saying that even if you’re right, and she took those pills herself, I’d really like to know why she was taking enough to risk an overdose.” Meira points out calmly.

Donna blanches. “No.” She insists. “No, stop it. My dad’s dead, and you-”

“Sins don’t get erased by death.” Meira counters. Donna lets out a choked sob, shaking her head in denial, but Meira holds her gaze and refuses to let her. After a brief struggle with herself, Donna breaks down into tears, and Meira carefully draws her into a hug, checking every step of the way that Donna wants the comfort.

After several awkward minutes, Dean clears his throat. “You gonna be okay here if we head back to the motel?” He asks Meira. “I think we’ve got some research to do.”

“Yeah.” Meira assures him. Dean and Sam linger awkwardly a moment longer, then go.

Meira and Charlie eventually manage to herd Donna into the living room, get her sitting down with a glass of water and some tissues, and let her cry it out. “My dad wouldn’t-!” comes out several times, followed by more tears. Meira doesn’t bother to point out that if Donna had been certain of that, she wouldn’t be this upset by the notion.

Eventually, she cries herself out, and Charlie suggests putting on a movie. Donna nods listlessly, so Charlie bounds up and sticks on a cartoon that Donna gives her a judging look for. Charlie looks away. “I didn’t think a rom-com would be the best idea right now.” She points out quietly, and Donna looks away, something caught between rage and grief on her face.

Five minutes into the movie, Donna curls up around a cushion and falls asleep, obviously worn out by her grief. Meira and Charlie share a look over her, and then stay right where they are. Donna’s alone enough already, they’re not going to leave her to wake up alone, too. Charlie goes to get a blanket, and Meira refills the glass of water, ready for when Donna wakes up.

The movie is almost over when Meira’s phone rings, and she fishes it out, expecting it to be Sam or Dean. It’s not, it’s Haley. Eyebrows rising, Meira answers. “Hey, what’s up?” She asks lightly.

“Hey.” Haley answers, weirdly hesitant. Meira’s just about to ask what’s wrong more seriously, when Haley abruptly blurts out “How do you tell if a house is haunted?”

Ah. Meira has to grin a little, and gets up to wander into the kitchen so that she’s not interrupting the movie for Charlie. “My first stop would be checking for EMF. Get a reader, scan the place, and if it goes off like you’re standing next to a wireless router when you’re not, you’ve probably got a ghost. Why?”

“A friend of mine, she’s just moved into this new house, and… things keep moving about on their own, and she keeps getting into accidents. She’s a gymnast, she’s not that clumsy.” Haley insists.

“Sounds like it could maybe be a poltergeist.” Meira tells her, grimacing.

“Poltergeist? That’s different from a ghost?” Haley asks, sounding a touch incredulous.

“Yeah. Ghosts are people who refused to move on for one reason or another, but since human souls aren’t meant to linger without a body to protect them, they tend to… degrade over time, even if they’re not vengeful to start with. Poltergeists are… accumulations of energy. Usually negative, but I did find a poltergeist in a hospital, once, that manifested because of a bunch of miraculous recoveries. It went around healing people.”

“Oh, wow.” Haley says, and she sounds like she’s smiling, just a little bit. “So, how do I tell the difference, and what do I do about it once I know?” She asks, getting back to the practical issues without missing a beat. Meira really wishes she’d gotten the chance to kiss her.

“It can be a bit hit and miss telling the difference.” Meira admits with a grimace. “If it’s a ghost, it’s probably someone who died there, or who lived there for a really long time. You’ll have to find out who, and then salt and burn their bones.”

There’s an indrawn breath, and then Haley lets the breath out slowly. “That’s disgusting.” She announces, sounding more matter-of-fact than outright disgusted.

Meira snorts. “Yeah, it is.” She agrees, then sobers up a little. “Look, we’re in the middle of a job right now, but if you want we can come by once we’ve sorted this out and see if we can help?” She offers.

“No. It’s fine.” Haley assures her. “There’s no reason I can’t do it myself. I’m not that squeamish.” She announces, and Meira’s fond grin is back. “So, if it’s a ghost, salt and burn the bones, but if it’s a poltergeist?” Haley challenges.

“Poltergeists are more difficult. You’ll need a purification ritual, or a hell of a lot of the exact opposite kind of metaphysical energy to cancel it out, but that’s basically impossible unless you have a psychic about to tell you what kind of poltergeist it is. If you’ve got a pen, I can give you a basic recipe.” She offers.

“Hang on a minute,” Haley says, and then, once she’s presumably found herself a pen, “go on.” So Meira does, listing out the herbs and other ingredients needed, and adding in the instructions of how to purify a house. “Okay, thanks.” Haley says once she’s done. “Now how do I figure out which it is?”

“Best guess?” Meira offers, and Haley makes an annoyed sound. “Uh, poltergeists don’t tend to cause cold spots. If you ever see a human-like apparition, it’s a ghost. If it is a poltergeist, and it’s already trying to hurt someone, there will be some sort of atrocity in the history of the place to cause it.”

“Alright.” Haley agrees. “I’ll figure it out.”

“You took on a wendigo. Poltergeists aren’t gonna phase you.” Meira reminds her fondly.

Haley laughs. “Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

They say quick goodbyes, and then Meira hangs up and turns to go back into the living room, only to find Charlie leaning in the doorway, her eyes a bit wide. “All that stuff is really out there, isn’t it?” Charlie asks, sounding dazed.

Meira nods. “Yeah. And a hell of a lot more, besides.”

“God.” Charlie breathes, closing her eyes. “That’s terrifying.”

“It’s the same world you were living in yesterday.” Meira reminds her. Charlie gives her a look, and Meira shrugs. “Look, if you want someone to pretend it’s all a ghost story and there’s no monsters under the bed, you’ve got the wrong girl. Try giving Sam a call.” She advises dryly.

“I don’t want that.” Charlie insists straight away, and then sighs. “It’s just scary, that’s all.”

“Yeah.” Meira agrees.

“And you just… go around looking for it?” Charlie asks abruptly, incredulous. Meira shrugs and nods, and Charlie gapes at her. “Why?”

It’s a good question. Meira’s never lived the true hunter lifestyle before. Sure, she’s gone on the occasional hunt with her dad, and she’s run into more than her fair share of monsters, but that wasn’t because she’d gone looking for them. They’d all come looking for her. And now she’s only tagging along with Sam and Dean because she has nowhere else in the world to belong. So instead of answering for herself, she thinks about some of the things her dad has said about why he hunts. “Because someone has to.” She settles on finally. “There are monsters out there, Charlie, and someone needs to stop them before they hurt any more people. Most people don’t even believe they’re real, and so they don’t know how to protect themselves. So we protect them.”

Charlie nods slowly, staring at the floor and chewing on her lower lip. Meira gives her the time she needs to process, and is impressed when she suddenly looks up, steel in her eyes. “Teach me.” She says. “That’s what you were doing, wasn’t it? With whoever was on the phone. Teaching them how to protect themselves. I don’t want to die because I didn’t know better than to avoid something.”

Meira beams at her, inordinately proud of her for even thinking of it, never mind outright asking. “Sure. I probably won’t be sticking around long enough to do more than give you the bare basics, but if you give me your number, you can text me any questions you have.” She offers, and Charlie nods. So they exchange numbers, and then they sit down to talk about the most basic protections, the most common supernatural problems, and what to do about them.

Toledo, Ohio – Monday 16th January 2006

They’re on the way back from Fort Wayne when Charlie calls Meira. She’s expecting questions about what they talked about yesterday, what she gets instead is a desperate sob and a whispered “Oh, God, she’s here,” that sends a chill down her spine.

“Charlie?” Meira calls, sitting bolt upright in the back seat.

“Bloody Mary, she’s- Donna said it, and- and she’s coming for me.” Charlie blurts out in a rush, voice shaking, followed by a whimper.

“What’s going on?” Dean demands.

“Okay, Charlie, here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to sit down, take a breath, and close your eyes.” Meira orders, keeping her voice as calm as she can. In the front, Dean swears, and floors the gas pedal. “Can you do that for me?”

“Y-yeah.” Charlie stammers.

“Good. Now, tell me where you are, and we’ll come get you.” Meira instructs.

“Outside school.” Charlie breathes. “I- I saw her in- she’s everywhere. In- in windows and the t-teacher’s glasses.”

Well, that’s not terrifying at all. Jesus. “That’s why you’re keeping your eyes closed, okay.” Meira soothes. “Now, are you somewhere public? Will other people see you and try to move you?”

“N-no. There’s a- an alley, between two of the houses across the street. No windows, so I-”

“Good, that was smart.” Meira compliments. “Do you think you can tell me how this happened? Why on earth did Donna say it?”

She hears Charlie take a deep, shuddering breath. “She- she was asking about… about why- why you guys were asking about- about her mom, and she- I tried to explain, but she got so mad, she said- said that you’d ‘made her think all that awful stuff’ for no reason, and how dare I go along with-” Charlie cuts off her explanation with a sob, and Meira murmurs a few soothing encouragements. “I told her it wasn’t for no reason, that- that she had gone after her dad instead of Lily for a reason, and she scoffed, and- and then she said it, like-”

“Like she was proving it wasn’t real.” Meira concludes, thinking, uncharitably, that Donna Shoemaker deserves a trickster’s attention for that. Grief or no grief, it’s a shitty thing to risk a friend’s life just to maintain your own blissfully ignorant illusion. And of course, they’re going to make damn sure Mary doesn’t kill Charlie, and so Donna is going to go on thinking she’s vindicated herself. Oh, yeah, Meira really wants to set Pabbi on her.

Biting back her anger, Meira puts her hand over the bottom of her phone to ask Dean “How long?”

“Fifteen minutes.” Dean says grimly.

Meira nods, and goes back to reassuring Charlie. She keeps her on the phone the whole time, talking her through the panic. Once they get back to Toledo, she alternates between reassurances to Charlie and directions to Dean. They pick Charlie up, and Meira guides her into the car while making sure she keeps her eyes closed. Then they take her back to the motel and do their best to cover up every reflective surface in Meira’s room.

Sam sits next to Charlie on the bed while Dean throws a towel over the TV, and Meira tacks up a sheet over the stupid frosted glass divider that serves absolutely no purpose but to be annoying in a situation like this. Meira honestly contemplated just smashing it. “Hey.” Sam says once Meira’s done. “Hey, it’s okay. You can open up your eyes, Charlie. It’s okay. Alright. Now listen. You’re going to stay right here, on this bed, and you’re not going to look at glass, or anything else that has a reflection, okay? Now, as long as you do that, she cannot get you.”

“But I can’t keep that up forever.” Charlie retorts, quiet but certain. “I’m going to die, aren’t I?”

“No.” Sam insists. “No, not anytime soon.”

Meira goes to sit next to Charlie, crawling right into the middle of the bed and putting an arm around her. “We’re going to stop her, Charlie.” She adds, and when Charlie looks at her imploringly, she gives her a reassuring smile. “Remember? This is what we do.” Swallowing hard, Charlie nods, and sits a little straighter.

“Alright, Charlie.” Dean says, perching on the end of the bed. “We need to know what happened.”

“We were in the bathroom, Donna said-” Charlie begins.

“That’s not what we’re talking about.” Dean interrupts. “Something happened, didn’t it? In your life. A secret. Someone got hurt.” Charlie blinks and sends tears cascading down onto her cheeks. Dean shares a look with Sam before pressing on, gentler than before. “Can you tell us about it?”

Charlie’s lip starts trembling, but when she starts talking, her voice is strong. “I had this boyfriend. I loved him, but he kinda scared me too, you know? And, one night, at his house, we got in this fight. And I broke up with him. And he got upset, and he said he needed me, and he loved me. And he said ‘Charlie, if you walk out that door right now, I’m going to kill myself.’ And do you know what I said? I said ‘go ahead’ and I left.”

“Good.” Meira says it before she can stop herself, and is aware of everyone’s eyes snapping to her in shock. God, she’s actually a little glad, for once, that Jace isn’t here, because if she’s this angry, Jace probably would go and find Charlie’s ex’s soul, and if he isn’t there already, deliver him directly to Hell, personally.

“What?” Charlie breathes.

Meira looks at her, and sees all the pain and guilt she’s been carrying around because of some asshole who tried to make his own life and his own choices her responsibility. “Charlie, his life was not your responsibility, and he had no right to lay that on you.”

“But I-” Charlie begins, and then falters.

“No, listen to me.” Meira insists, kneeling up and turning Charlie to face her fully. “That was his choice to make, not yours. He tried to chain you to him by making you feel responsible for his life and his actions, and you were right to do what you needed to, to free yourself. Just because his threat was aimed at himself, instead of someone else you love, doesn’t make it any less a threat. The fact that he followed through because you didn’t give him what he wanted is on him, not on you.”

“I-” Charlie says again, and then her expression crumples, and she starts to cry in earnest. “I didn’t want him to die.” She says, desperate.

Meira pulls her into her arms. “I know. It’s not your fault.”

“She’s right, it’s not.” Dean adds. Then he clears his throat, a hard, almost angry look on his face, and gets up. “Right, let’s go gank this bitch already.” He says, and Sam gets up immediately. Dean glances at Meira when she doesn’t move. “Meira?”

“I’ll stay here with Charlie.” Meira replies. “Keep her safe.”

“No.” Charlie says quietly, voice ragged. “You should go. It’s not like there’s anything you can- can really do here, anyway.”

Meira looks at her, impressed again by the strength in her. “I can keep you company.” She points out. “That’s important, too. Sam and Dean can handle this bitch, no problem.” She points out, and Charlie almost manages a smile, ducking her head in a way that’s not quite a nod, but that Meira takes as agreement anyway. She’s not leaving Charlie to sit here, alone in a dark room, with nothing to do but contemplate her douchebag ex and her impending death. No way.

“Hell yeah we can.” Dean agrees before heading out the door with Sam on his heels.

Toledo, Ohio – Tuesday 17th January 2006

Once it’s all over, Meira takes Charlie shopping. She tells Sam and Dean she wants to do something nice for her after the last few days, and Sam and Dean agree to leave that evening, instead of in the morning. They don’t have another hunt lined up yet anyway, so there’s no trouble with taking a day of down-time. She doesn’t tell them that it’s not clothes they’re shopping for. Well, not just clothes. They do get Charlie a nice leather jacket and some jeans that are easier to move in than her usual.

They go to a jewellery store and commission an anti-possession charm. Charlie will have to pick it up herself in a couple of weeks time, but it’s on its way, and that seems to make her feel better. They buy meters and meters of plastic tubing and a giant bag of rock-salt from a hardware store, along with a pocket knife, and then go poking around a dozen antique stores until they find a pure iron fire poker and a sterling silver cutlery set. They also buy her a rosary, along with a bottle of water that Meira blesses for her.

“I thought you needed to be ordained to make holy water.” Charlie remarks as they’re leaving the store, considering her new rosary with a slightly pinched expression.

“You might.” Meira acknowledges with a shrug. She honestly has no idea if just her blessing, without her grace being able to reach out and touch Charlie’s soul, would be enough, but Charlie certainly has it. “But best to have a rosary on hand anyway, just in case. Besides, as long as you’re careful, that bottle could last you forever.” Charlie looks at the simple one litre bottle, and then arches a sceptical eyebrow at Meira. “No, really.” Meira assures her, grinning. “Add more water and it becomes holy water, too. As long as you have some left, you can make it last forever.”

While they’re searching thrift stores for a decent rug with a pentacle on it, Charlie’s phone rings. She takes one look at the display, and her expression closes off. “Who-?” Meira asks softly.

“Donna.” Charlie answers, then takes a breath, and answers it, but doesn’t speak first.

Meira unashamedly boosts her hearing to eavesdrop. “…Charlie?”

“Yeah?” Charlie answers, level, not cold, but not overly warm, either.

“Oh, thank god.” Donna sighs. “Your mom called, she said you didn’t come home last night, and I heard that you’d freaked out at school yesterday.” She explains. “You’re okay, right?” Charlie’s lips thin and her jaw works as she tries several times to speak, and fails each time. “Charlie?” Donna prompts, voice going high with worry.

“Why do you care?” Charlie suddenly bursts out.

“What?” Donna replies, and then, after a beat. “Oh my god, Charlie, just because we had a fight yesterday doesn’t mean I want you to- to have some sort of episode and throw yourself in front of a car or something! Jesus!”

“You nearly got me killed yesterday!” Charlie retorts loudly, and then casts an embarrassed look around. Thankfully, there’s no one else in the store except the clerk, and they’re studiously pretending not to be able to hear anything.

“No, I didn’t. It’s not real, Charlie.” Donna retorts scornfully.

“The only reason I’m not lying in a pool of my own blood with my eyes gouged out just like your dad-” Donna sucks in a sharp breath. “-is because those ‘freaks’ risked their lives to save me. You-” Charlie cuts herself off and closes her eyes.

Donna scoffs. “If that’s true, who did you kill?” She bites out.

Charlie flinches, like she was no doubt meant to. Meira puts a hand on her arm, and when Charlie’s eyes flick up to meet hers, she says quietly “It doesn’t need to be a secret. You didn’t do anything wrong. But you don’t owe her anything, either.”

Charlie nods once, takes a shaking breath, and says “Did you know that Mark threatened to kill himself if I broke up with him?” in a surprisingly even tone, even though her eyes have gone glassy with unshed tears. “I broke up with him anyway.”

Donna is silent for a very, very long time. “Wow, what a dick.” She says finally, and Charlie laughs like it’s been startled out of her. She sniffs once and wipes at her eyes. There’s another, shorter silence. “I suppose you think this means that Lily is to blame for our dad’s death, then, huh?” She asks, bitterly angry and scared underneath.

“Oh my god, Donna, no. Lily was playing a stupid game with her friends, she didn’t know it was dangerous.” There’s a pause, and then Charlie adds, viciously, “You did. I told you it was dangerous, and you did it anyway, even though you knew it wasn��t just your own life on the line.”

Another silence. “What do you want me to say?” Donna asks resentfully.

“That you’re sorry?!” Charlie bursts out. “That you won’t do it again?! That you understand that, oh my god, even if you still don’t believe me, I believe it, and it’s a shitty thing to do to scare me just to, what? I don’t even know. And that if I tell you ‘hey, maybe don’t do that, it’s dangerous’ again, next time, you’ll listen?!”

“Yeah. Okay.” Donna says quietly.

Charlie waits. Donna doesn’t say anything else. “Well?!” Charlie snaps.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry, okay?!” Donna snaps back.

Meira wonders if maybe now would be a good opportunity to test out manifesting her wings. Perhaps a little solid proof would go a long way to improving Donna’s attitude. She’s still debating whether it’s a good idea or not when Charlie sighs. “Yeah, okay.” She says tiredly. “See you Monday, Donna.”

“Yeah, see you.” Donna agrees, and then Charlie hangs up on her. She stands there, staring at her phone for several minutes, looking torn and upset.

“I could probably show her proof, if you want.” Meira offers.

Charlie visibly thinks about it, but then shakes her head. “No. I don’t know. She’s made it pretty clear she doesn’t want to know, hasn’t she?”

Meira tips her head in acknowledgement of that, and then lets the subject drop. “Come on, Buffy, we’ve got rugs to buy.” She says instead, and Charlie snorts at the nickname, but she looks pleased, too, and Meira takes that as a win.

#Supernatural #time travel #next generation #original character #supernatural retelling #SPN 1x05 #Bloody Mary #Trapped in the Amber #Meira Winchester #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester #og Charlie #who will be Charlie Jenkins for the purposes of this fic #(virtual cookies to anyone who can figure out why I picked Jenkins)#so no one gets her confused with the other awesome Charlie #it probably doesn't come across in this but I actually really like Donna too

4 notes · View notes

thankskenpenders · 5 years

Text

So there’s this little cartoon you may have heard of...

As I’ve said on this blog before, I’d never watched all of SatAM. This might be shocking to hear from someone who runs a blog dedicated to Archie Sonic and one of the top twenty Bunnie Rabbot fangirls in the world. But it’s true.

SatAM was very difficult to track down compared to other Sonic cartoons when I was a kid, and I just never got around to watching it as an adult. So for the longest time, I had only ever seen the first episode, which I found uploaded in parts on YouTube in 2007. As the one cartoon featuring the characters I liked from the comics, it became sort of this holy grail of Sonic media for me as a kid, especially with people online always talking it up as the best thing ever and petitioning for a revival. Hell, to this day, a lot of people hold it up as this masterpiece and act like the Archie comics were a complete mockery of it

Anyway so I finally got around to watching the whole series with my boyfriend these past couple weeks, and it was pretty good. So instead of covering a comic today, here are some thoughts on the cartoon that started it all

General Thoughts

SatAM is a pretty good show. It isn’t the greatest piece of Sonic media ever, unlike what some older fans will tell you. It might not even be the best Sonic cartoon (you could easily make a case for the Japanese version of Sonic X, or Sonic Boom if you’re looking for something more comedic). It hasn’t aged the most gracefully, in some ways. The animation’s cheap, the stories sometimes bland. But for a DiC-produced video game cartoon from the early ‘90s, it’s really solid

I think that in many ways, SatAM is carried by the strength of its ideas over its actual execution. The darker, more serious tone is a really cool idea, even if at times it can get a little dull, and even if the show actually gets silly as hell pretty often. (This is a show where Snively literally tortures a captive Antoine by preparing French cuisine improperly.) That opening scene of Robotropolis in the first episode actually sets the mood really well and feels like it came straight out of some cyberpunk anime from the ‘80s or ‘90s. The concept of Robotnik turning people into robot slaves is really cool, even if surprisingly little was done with this aside from Uncle Chuck’s storyline. And I think the Freedom Fighters make a great supporting cast for Sonic, even if the writers didn’t use them to their full potential

Interestingly, I’d often heard from fans that season one was the stronger of the two, when I’d say that the opposite is true. Season one episodes were pretty samey, usually involving low stakes missions to Robotropolis with no real continuity, and Sally ended up being a damsel in distress more than I’d like--hell, so did Bunnie in a few episodes. It wasn’t bad, but it was highly repetitive, and I got a little bored at times. Season two had a few real stinkers (the Antoine episodes) and Dulcy was an unwelcome addition, but I thought the heavier focus on continuity gave the season some real momentum and more emotional weight, which made it way more enjoyable overall

Things I Liked

Sonic. I quite liked this version of Sonic, actually! Jaleel White is a great Sonic, and he was written pretty well. At times the extremely tubular ‘90s lingo was grating (I never wanna hear “Gotta juice!” again), but I was surprised to see that this version of Sonic had a lot of heart. He really cared about the well-being of his friends and Uncle Chuck, and they even let him cry a couple times. I thought they struck a good balance between snark and sincerity with him

Sally. I don’t think SatAM Sally was perfect, but I liked her. I’m still of the opinion that she should have been given more ways to defend herself physically (maybe some kind of power of her own) so that Sonic didn’t have to save her as much, but I liked the banter she and Sonic had. Unlike the early Archie comics, Sally doesn’t come off as the bossy girlfriend who ruins Sonic’s fun. Maybe it’s Jaleel White and Kath Soucie’s performances doing most of the work, but they had a fun back and forth dynamic, with Sally’s sarcasm keeping Sonic’s ego in check, but there still being clear chemistry between the two of them

I also liked the greatly reduced emphasis on her being a princess compared to much of Archie’s material. Like yeah, it’s there. Her dad’s the king, and left her some classified info via Nicole. But her status doesn’t really affect things much. They don’t talk about her having this grand destiny and being the next in line to rule. It’s clear that she’s in charge of the Freedom Fighters not because of her status, but because she’s smart, brave, and gets shit done. That’s the Sally I like.

Plus! In the finale, Sally insisted upon going with Sonic for the final confrontation, and was a crucial part of the climax. Her powering up with Sonic and matching his speed and strength ruled. Compare that to the climactic defeat of Robotnik in Archie, where she was fucking dead

Robotnik. I don’t think much needs to be said here. Jim Cummings rules as Robotnik, like everyone has always said. He’s just so evil and so much fun to watch

Snively??? I’ve never cared for Snively as a character, but Charlie Adler rules and his over-the-top performance made the character way funnier than he should’ve been. Just something about all the little noises he makes, and the way he almost shifts into the Red Guy voice at times

Nicole. It was fun to see Nicole start to get more of a personality in season two, having some banter with Sonic and also picking up some slang from him. It makes the later decision to turn Sally’s computer into a full character (which would have happened in season three, and obviously eventually became a big subplot in the comics) make a lot of sense

King Acorn. While he was only around briefly, I liked that he wasn’t a huge dick, unlike Archie’s King Max

Things I Didn’t Like

The misuse of the other Freedom Fighters. This is, by far, the show’s greatest crime.

I already write approximately 100k words a week on this blog about how I think Bunnie Rabbot is amazing and criminally underused, so I’ll keep this brief, but I was shocked to see how little she was used in this show. People tend to say Dulcy stole her screentime in season two, but she didn’t have much to do in the first season either! We somehow never got a single episode focusing on her. The one where she got temporarily deroboticized focused much more on Uncle Chuck. We never got to learn the story behind her roboticization, or delved into her feelings on the matter much. She mostly just served as a positive, lighthearted supporting member of the team who acts cute and gets some funny lines, but usually stays home

Antoine might have been even worse, honestly. Like, they used him so much! They had multiple episodes focusing entirely on him! And yet I’m not sure he ever really helped. Sonic and Sally kept taking him along, but every single time it felt like it would’ve been a wiser decision to bring Bunnie instead. The jokes about his broken English were just dumb, and god, the way he constantly hits on Sally and starts kissing her hand at the most inappropriate times is just SO fucking creepy. SatAM Antoine is just a horrible, one-dimensional stereotype. There’s a reason why readers of the Archie comics wanted him out of the series until later writers majorly rehabilitated him

Rotor also didn’t get much use, which was a shame, but it at least felt like he was used efficiently. I got the vibe that Rotor was much more bitter about the war with Robotnik than his friends, and it would’ve been interesting to see this explored more. At least we got that one fun episode where he went to space with Sonic

Dulcy. Oh my fucking god. I wanted to like Dulcy! I really did! But most of the time she was just a clutz used for comic relief, and they kept reusing the same joke where she crashed, bumped her head, got dizzy, and thought she was talking to her mom. This happened in almost every episode she was in.

The other miscellaneous Freedom Fighters. Like in the early Archie comics, none of the other miscellaneous Mobians they meet were as interesting as the core cast. They just always felt very bland and I was never as invested in them as the writers wanted me to be. Ari was boring, and that episode where they found the underground city and this other dude started hitting on Sally was a drag. Lupe’s cute though

Rings. This is a common problem in Sonic adaptations, but the fact that rings always serve as Sonic’s instant win button kind of sucks. Basically any time Sonic’s in a pinch, he pulls a ring out of his backpack, powers up, and wins. Not exactly a recipe for suspenseful action

Oh, also, I did kinda find it weird how much Sonic and Sally kissed? Like, all the time? Often while their friends just stand there and stare at them? Not something I’d expect from a Sonic cartoon

Things Archie Did Better

I’ll limit this to the first 50 issues or so, since I don’t think it would be fair to compare two short seasons of SatAM to the highlights of nearly 500 issues of comics

Tails. Tails is okay in SatAM, Archie just used him as Sonic’s sidekick way more. He was barely even in the show. Poor little guy only gets to play dirt hockey all day

Bunnie. Again, Bunnie was underutilized in both series, but the Archie comics did her better. They actually showed the story of how she got roboticized (even if it was a silly story), and they got to flesh her out a bit more. Gallagher showing that she was a carrot farmer before her roboticization and saying she wanted to be a hairdresser was at least something. And as I keep harping on, Rich Koslowski’s backup story in #37 where we find out Bunnie has recurring nightmares about her robot parts taking over and making her a threat to her friends? This single backup story did more to flesh her out than all 26 episodes of SatAM combined

Antoine. Not hard to do better than SatAM here, really. He was really bad early on, serving as little more than Sonic’s punching bag, but eventually they started to set up a romance between him and Bunnie and explored his past a bit, saying that Antoine’s father (his personal role model) was a member of the royal guard who was roboticized in the war. While he still had a long way to go, these were important first steps towards him being a decent character. Hell, these days, being Bunnie’s love interest is one of Antoine’s defining characteristics! And it doesn’t come from the cartoon at all

Roboticization in general. I was surprised how little this came up in the cartoon! In the comics, it’s such a central element. We see more of the heroes’ loved ones turned into robots, and we even got some fun stories where characters like Sonic and Sally were roboticized temporarily. The Freedom Fighters’ efforts to reverse the process was a major part of the plot for quite a while. Bunnie’s fear of losing control is a pretty important part of her character (even if it was only touched on briefly), and after they’re rescued, the rest of the Mobians fear that the “Robians” (including Sonic’s entire family) will turn evil again. It comes up a lot! There are interesting things to discuss here! But SatAM only really talks about Uncle Chuck. We never even see what happened to everyone else

Closing Thoughts

SatAM is not the best show in the world, but it is a solid and enjoyable one. It’s easy to see why people who grew up with it are fond of it, even if I think that it’s long past time certain fans quit acting like it’s the only valid take on the Sonic source material and petitioning for a third season. At the very least, the concepts and characters introduced here are strong ones, and it’s easy to see how they spawned over 20 years of comics exploring said ideas in greater detail. While I’m not sure I could recommend it to non-fans, I think it’s definitely worth checking out for Sonic fans who missed out on it (especially fans of the Archie comics)

Anyway I got to see Bunnie dropkick some Swatbots twice her height so I had fun

#tkp post #other media

188 notes · View notes