#i think i did betyer on this one

[doctor-catboy]

[horse-shit]

i am. losing my mind

[vypridae]

HOPE YOUR HEAD FEELS BETYER!! HEADACHES SUCK

anywayys requesting mori or tecchou or fyodor for the character thing [or bc you don’t need to do all of them pick and choose <3]

DOING ALL OF THEM i cant do the doodles i dont have the motivation for art rn i lied about that BUT ILL DO ALL THREE OF THEM

under a cut because these got LONG

MORI

first impression

honestly i think when i first met mori in the anime i was like oh hes sweet i like him . then it was the whole "woah port mafia boss!!!!" thing and i was like oh hes sweet and deadly i like him .

impression now

i love him soo much did you know. hes so fun hes just a silly guy . silly !!!

favorite moment

honestly the moment (from the manga specifically) thats stuck with me the most was the frame that he like, put tachihara's hd hat on his head and was like "you dropped something" it just STUCK with me

outside of canon manga stuff tho i love the little intersection in wan ep 11 that hes like "WHAT DID YOU SEND ME DAZAI ... THESE ARE ... SCARY!!!!!" like hes just so silly i love him

idea for a story

genuinely i do not think about story ideas enough to have a solid one for him but if it counts i often think about him accidentally stealing one of fukuzawa's scarves from That Era i forgot how old he was at the time . and then just keeping it . and fukuzawa finds out somehow . i love them shut up

unpopular opinion

uhhh liking mori in general FSJKHASJKHASFJKG like have you seen this fandom . 99% of the people here fucking hate mori with a passion . and just liking him is super controversial . aside from that though ive seen analyses (tending to be like "mori and pedophilia" or something along those lines) and honestly they make me feel like hes just being really uuuh whats the word. really abstract with how he says things i guess? like one in particular i remember was a word in the original manga (jap) and he said a word that means both "wife" and "thing by my side" or something like that, when theres so many different words he could have used if he wanted to be Creepy specifically. idk theres my mori opinion its so controversial i know block me if u'd like but i love him

favorite relationship

HAHA zskk . easily . love those dumbass gayasses

favorite headcanon

uuuuuh . probably trans mori honestly FJKHASDFGHADFG maybe im biased (trans) but like ... idk i am very biased about this

TECCHOU

first impression

genuinely when i first met all of the hunting dogs i forgot all of their names immediately . as chapters went on though i think the two main things i remember thinking "hes adorable" and "hes in love with jouno 100%"

impression now

i . love him . so much . he is the silliest little guy ever and hes also me . also hes still in love with jouno btw

favorite moment

every one of them /j no but fr in specific i love the ant scene (it was one of the only ones i remembered from the manga after i read that chapter i think), the justice speech / kenji fight (GOD hes so cool) and when he gets hit by the car (that was THE FUNNIEST ever)

idea for a story

oh my god okay so imagine jouno is sick and tecchou is taking care of him . that is all

unpopular opinion

i dont actually think i have an unpopular opinion for tecchou . at least not one that i can think of???? like with tecchou i think most of my hcs line up with how a lot of the fandom talks about him

favorite relationship

EASILY WITHOUT A DOUBT ITS SUEGIKU OH MY GOD

favorite headcanon

he can cook !!!!! he can cook really well and i like to imagine even though he refuses to eat anything thats not the same color he likes cooking stuf he knows jouno likes and doesnt force him to eat any of his "weird" food combos because he knows jouno doesnt really like stuff like that so he cooks how jouno likes for jouno and how he likes for himself . UAHUAUAHGUA

FYODOR

first impression

i think i initially went "oh my god" when i saw fyodor . fell for him IMMEDIATELY and also initially hated fyolai???

impression now

still falling . now love fyolai . improvements !!!

favorite moment

YES. /j

in all seriousness, some of my favorite moments with fyodor are uuh

the dead apple scene where hes on the rooftop and goes "this is too much fun :)" because i think honestly that scene made me fall SO HARD . also he just looks really pretty there dont question me

time for happy group counseling hour !!!!!! hmm? hi everybody im your host fyodor dostevsky- okay hold up stop right there. whats the problem? exactly, what? exactly what what? ooooooooh . life counseling . < that whole scene

ALSO THE THE THE the tHE . WHERE HE KICKS NIKOLAI'S BOOMBOX IN THE MANGA. HSE SO MEAN I LOVE HIM

idea for a story

oh my god. ok so basically . connected oneshots but one member of fyosiglai is individually insecure for some reason and the other two are like FUCK NO YOU ARENT and love them and cherish and praise them until theyre like oguhgug

unpopular opinion

hes pretty i LOVE HIM hes SO PRETTY ive seen HUNDREDS of people say hes UGLY hes SO NOT UGLY i LOVE HI

(in all seriousness, ive seen a lot of people say he'd be like, an abusive manipulative awful husband / boyfriend / whatever, and i literally just cannot see that happening . like, i feel like he'd want the perfect world FOR his s/o, he fell for them for a reason sort of thing . idk maybe i just love him but hgjkahfjkahdfjk)

favorite relationship

fyosiglai. or fyodor and me /j (/hj)

favorite headcanon

UUUUUH UH UH UH UH UH OH MY GOD I HAVE SO MANY HCS ABOUT HIM I LOVE HIM hes a cat person thats one of my favorites . if there is a cat on his lap he will not move

i also love the idea that he cannot for the life of him play horror games because he gets jumpscared and screams and he HATES that bc "vulnerability bad" (nikolai likes when he plays horror games anyway he thinks its funny when he gets jumpscared and screams really loud)

actually scratch that . fyodor is just bad at video games because i love that idea . hes good at logic games but when it just comes down to "survive!!!" or "do this objective" or something i love the idea that hes just Dog Ass at it

[batii-skies]

Hazbin hotel DR??

•so I’m planing on shifting realities to Hazbin hotel and I figured I’d share a few things!

•This is what I designed for my looks (if you can’t tell I based my looks off of Furina from Genshin) I really liked the idea of being an overlord like this (link below)

• https://pin.it/54o8rbKQZ

•I knew I wanted my full demon forms to be based off of the song Carousel by Melanie Martinez

• I have two demon forms, the last one is basically for intimidation and the first one is for physical combat

•I definitely would have water based powers

•I’m also scripting that Valentino sold his soul to me for fame (fuck him, honestly) so I’d own him, therefore I own the souls he ‘owns’ (long story short I’m freeing Angel-Dust)

•I’m also scripting Angel-Dust’s nickname is Dusty cause my name is Angel and it would be extremely confusing 😭🤚

•I definitely want to be close friends with Alastor and Rosie

•here’s another piece of art I did for the vibe (ignore how god awful all the art is 🥲✊)

•I chose my overlord title to be The Saint Of The Void, but I’m not sure it fits (PLEASE HELP ME COME IP WITH A BETYER ONE I BEG OF YOU)

•that’s all I have down for now, if you have and suggestions please let me know!!

(edit: I’m thinking about my overlord title being The Jester Demon)

[krmzyn]

Oli. If ur reading this SHOO THIS IS THE POST /lh (LUV U POOKS 😚😚 /p)

(Im watching 💟 /j)

DUDES. RESPECTFULLY MY ART HAS BEEN ABSOLUTELY ARTING. LIKE.

CAN WE TALK ABT THIS?? IT DEF NEEDS QUITE A BIT OF FIXING BUT BRO??! SLAYED?

IT STARTED OFF AS THE ONE ON THE RIGHT AND I REDID THE SKETCH

LIKE DGMW ITS OKAY BUT THE NEW INES WAY BETYER

ALSOALSO

ANOTHER FROM A LITTLE WHILE AGO?? LIKE IM ITS NOT THE GREATEST BUT MIND U THIS IS THE FIRST REALISM IVE DONE SINCE I WAS LIKE. 9. IN ART CLASS. AND QUITE POSSIBLY THE FIRST PORTRAIT REALISM IVE EVER DONE.

AND CAN WE ALSO TALK ABOUT MY LIKE PAPER ART AND DOODLES AND STUFF??

LIKE GENUINELY I DONT MEAN THIS IN A FLEXING WAY JUST IN A HOLY SHIT HOW DID MY MANIFESTING KICK IN SO FAST WAY 😭😭

SOME R STILL IFFY OBVS BUT LIKE. THIS IS AFTER HAVING ART LOCK FOR AGES, KNOWING JACK SHIT ABOUT ANATOMY AND WITH LITERALLY NO REFS. IVE FIXED UP THE ANATOMY ON DIGITAL BC THATS MY MAIN ART THINGY AND FR IN KINDA SCARED TO LIKE START ACC ADDING FEATURES AND STUFF LMFAO 😭

LASTLY I WANTED TO START DOING LIKE CHIBI OR WTV RUGHT BC YK ITS CUTE??

IMMEDIATELY. MY FIRST ATTEMPT. LITERALLY NO GUIDELINES OR ANYTHING. AGAIN, I DONT THINK IVE EVER DRAWN ACTUAL CHIBI IN KY LIFE AND I PULLED THIS OUT MY ARSE INSTANTLY??

[sisyphus-prime]

i dont rly understand cookie run but i see u post about it a lot so!! this is ur free pass to infodump @ me :3c

Okay okay okay so like

*cookie*

The games themselves are not as much something to write home about but the characters have JUST enough lore and JUST enough plot that they're good they're great

They either have names based on ingredient (Pomegranate Cookie), Role (timekeeper cookie) or a mix (Sorbet Shark Cookie).

all playable character are cookies? I mean technically a few are animals that wanted to be cookies so hard they became cookies? But they're mostly.. mostly cookies it counts.

Uh, the main plot in Cookie Run is Uh. Dark Enchantress wants to plunge the world into darkness. Spooky. Her minions are Pomegranate, who was a seer(?) Who had a prophecy that she would help with this and just went "fuck. Yeah okay let's go". Dark Choco, I'm gonna talk more about them in a moment,

Licorice, edgy magic boy who both has self esteem issues and thinks hes hot shit, he was introduced in kingdom

poison mushroom, small child who.. ate a poison mushroom I'm not kidding that's their backstory, they were introduced in kingdom

Lobster, who was a protector of an underwater city,

And a few other cookies have corrupted skins but idk where ans when it counts as canon :0c

Ccookie run kingdom is a game that came out... Jan 25? I dunno, but it is a different plot and adds and takes away some characters

BASICALLY, there were 5 legendary cookies who were saving the world and dark enchantress did not like that. They all fucking died, and Pome, Dark Choco, PM and Licorice are trying to bring DE back. Gingerbrave went "hm. Dont like that" and is trying to stop it.

So like, there are so many fucking characters. 124 in oven break with 1 more coming this week, there are several minor plots and major plots, kingdom has like. 5 new ones so like. 130 announced and total cookies? IRS a lot

The ones I talk about a lot are

Pome, who i summarized p well up there. Shes a bitch I love her

Dark Choco, a fucking idiot prince who went "oh shit! My father dark cacao is so cool, as a legendary hero! Man! Everything is falling apart! I should go save my kingdom by venturing into the darkness!" And then he did and then he grabbed a cursed strawberry jam (read: blood) Sword, fucked himself up, got stuck as DE's minion, and LORE DROPPED in kingdom that he fucking attacked his father because the sword and hes jSut dESERVES BETYER

Milk, who I dont talk about enough. But hes on ak epic quest to find dark choco! Because they saved his village when milk was young! And milk decided to be a hero just like them! And he wants to thank them! And he has no ducking idea what hes in for! Hes traveling with Purple yam. Who wants a rematch against dark choco and is a very angry character. And also dino-sour but I know nothin about him úwù

Mint Choco! He plays violin, no canon relation to dark choco :].

Sea Fairy, who is like, cursed with a frozen soul and the warm kindness from those she knows keeps her from not being a frozen statue or sea foam! Also NOT SUBTLY WLW CODED WITH MOON FAIRY. As she says "of all cookies, her heart is the warmest" and has a costume where, since She tried so hard and never made it to the moon, she 8solated herself into the deep depths in a depression where the moon'a light could never reach S O -

Some cookies are neater than others

Some are bland

The fandom can be really rough

But its great :]

[annabellsr]

Just skip this. Im stoned and in A Mood™

Its 3 am and i cant sleep and im overthinking so im going to write it out to ride it out.

Here we go.

Ive introduced caffeine back into my diet and that was a horrible awful mistake. My bad @ myself. My sleep has been FUCKED since. And the worst part? I crave it. Lmaoo dumb.

I like this writing but its way too fucking big damn it.

Welp.

I fucking almost texted my ex today to tell her what a piece of shit she was and is and that i am mad that her last letter to me she LITERALLY said she learned how to love thanks to all the abuse she put me through. I try not to think about it. But fun fact about caffeine is it can make you agitated. And it can effect you negatively if you have certain mental illnesses. And for someone who is so outspoken about it sometimes i am just so. In. Denial. About. My. Own. Illnesses.

Im still learning better coping skills and how to love and accept myself while simultaneously trying to unlearn a LOT of unhealthy thought patterns and coping habits.

Like accepting the fact i have a caffeine sensitivity. Like I know i will trigger a panic attack if i get more than 80mg of it in me. But i always tell myself i can push through it. Or it wont happen this time. Or i need to just buck up and deal with it. Like when will i learn? Who fucking knows but it sure as hell wasnt this week.

I was also thinking about kevin today. I hate him so so so much. However. I also feel so so so bad for him because i kinda understand him a little bit and we have some of the same bad coping habits. Except where my emotions lean towards sad his lean toward anger. Like yeah theres a ton of sad underneath there, but it shows itself as anger. Which is super rude, dangerous, and annoying. Buuut anyway. I was thinking about the day i legit almost killed myself. Like i was fucking ready.

I was so ready infact, that it scared me. And i reached out for help that day. I called a (at the time) friend. I didnt tell her why i called. Or what i was feeling. See the funny thing about me is im an Overshare-er™ and tend to do so especially when im stressed or feeling anxious(thats actually a pretty common symptom of anxiety). However there have been some distinct moments in my life where i wanted something so so badly i was able to keep my mouth shut until after i did whatever it was. These also happen to be key turning points in my life (some more obvious than others). So when i was on the phone with her and realized i had no desire to talk about wanting to end it all, and lied when she asked what was up, REALLY scared me. I felt, for a moment, like my body had made the decision for me. Like it was a once in a lifetime (lmaooo no pun intended) chance to change the direction my life was going. I was so sure i was ready. I didnt care what happened after, i wasnt even going to write a note because i felt whatever sob story excuse i had would just be scoffed at or seen as dramatic. I always felt too dramatic, too much, too alone, too intensely, too too too too too.

I always thought the problem

Was me.

UNTIL

This year. This year I finally realized (and mostly accepted ((i still have bad days, still rewiring the ol brain)) ) that /I/ was never the problem. I was just a fucking kid. Doing fucking kid shit. That NORMAL KIDS NORMALLY DO.

KEVIN was AND IS just a bully asswipe WHO ABUSED A CHILD because he was stuck in some shitty cycle cause his daddy was mean to him too. I mean hes still a shit person, hes impulsive, rude, racist, surprisingly not so homophobic? (Prob was when younger i could totally see it. He would be the "lesbians are fine but a gay dude betyer not evem glance at me" douche. ) and honestly a deadbeat who wont take care of himself, mind body or soul.

So to know that my childhood was legit wrecked by this dillweed fucking ENRAGES me. Which is SO ironIC CONSIDERING I SPENTMY 12-21 YEARS OF LIFE REPRESSING ANY FORM OF ANGER BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID OF TURNING OUT LIKE MY ABUSER WHO ONLY EVER SHOWED ME ANGER. And disgust. Like legit im sure he is disgusted by me.

But as soon as it clicked in my tumbleweed of a head that the only reason my childhood sucked wasnt because there was something wrong with me, but because i was someones scapegoat?! All that anger fucking ripped a new one in me.

Its like going on a T break and then smoking again. Its intense, and you feel it in every inch of you and its new but familiar at the same time but sometimes it is just SO INTENSE. Sometimes its too intense.

Just to think. He fucking broke me down to the point i was convinced it was me. I was the problem. I was always wrong or not enough or gross or too-SOMETHING. He broke me down to the point

I

Was

Going

To

Kill

My

Self

All because he never got help for himself, but instead took it out on me.

Fucking disgusting.

And i fucking HATE that sometimes i really want to help him. Because im fucking soft and when i step back i can see he is just a human suffering and i dont think people deserve to suffer.

Even though i know he never thinks twice about the way he treated me. (Mainly because he gets the fucking blessing of not remembering any of it. Fucker.) and even if i told him he prob wouldnt even care.

Sometimes i do think about telling him.

Laying it all out there.

And then blocking his number so i never have to know what his reply would be.

Its 330am.

I have work in 12 hours.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

[3vercl3ar]

I can feel there is about to be a big shift in my life. I've begun to make some realizations, and with those I've realized that I cannot continue to live this way. Some of the choices I've made have lead me here, and I can acknowledge that, but the part that I can't get past is how fucking hard I've tried, and how much it hurts to know that no matter what I do, things will never change. I can't wait around forever. It's a vicious cycle, constantly waiting, hoping, thinking things are great, then it all spiralling out of control again. Then promises, apologizes, and stability. Eventually, it all repeats. It's tearing me apart, my chest is cracking open allowing myself to think and feel all of this. Sometimes it get to be too much and I break down. But I know that in the end, this is what's best. Things haven't even been set into motion and it already sucks. Knowing the last half decade of my life has just been a delay, a stall in time; but I may have needed this to grow. I feel more like myself than I ever had. I'm getting to the point where I feel as tho I no longer have you, probably because no matter how much I cared, I never got it in return. How words that would break me, just slide right over you. Like oil and water, we just don't mix. We're both such different people now, or maybe it is just me who changed. But I feel no remorse for changing, I like who I am. I like having a voice and demand to be heard. I know what I want out of my life, and you just can't give me that. Either because you simply can't express it or you just don't care to. Yet you demand the same from me, and when I can't right then, I'm 'shutting you out' or someone else HAS to be involved. Yet, did you ever really let me in ? I haven't felt at home with you in a long time, and every time things started to get better, you sabotaged it. If you want me gone just say so, just please stop hurting me with lies and empty words all the time. I've been trying for so long that I just don't have it in me to try anymore. And maybe I am pulling the panic cord, maybe I am just giving up and running away. But I've given this, us, YOU five years of my time, love and devotion, all to be met with still silence when I said I was done. Nothing. After 5 years, nothing. Did you ever really love me ? Or did you just love the idea of being with me ? We're my demons to much ? Was my voice too loud? Did I expect too much ? Where did we go wrong ? I ask questions I'll never get answers to, we both know it. The pain of past betrayals just won't go away. It seems it's best if I don't stay. Things will be, hard. I'll never stop loving you. But I can't continue down this path of destruction and turmoil with you. And it hurts me to say, but I do hope you find happiness with someone else one day. I wish you no ill will. Only to be gentle with me, since we are bonded for life. I'll never get that sigh of relief because it's been so long that I've seen you, I've begun to forget your hands, your smell, your touch. You will forever be apart of my life. That's why it's been so hard to walk away. There is no escaping this.. us. You say we can work it out and things will get betyer, but I just don't believe you anymore. It's been said too many times to feel like it's worth the fight. Maybe we will work it out, maybe we will be a happy family, maybe we'll find that connection we lost so long ago. But right now, I don't have it in me to fight for this anymore. I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired. I just hope you know, it was you I wanted all along, only you, only us. I'm sorry that wasn't enough.

[trubblemakr]

I just fucking hate where i am in life right now. I feel like absolute shit. I feel like all my "friends" are going to tell me to git lost bc this giy showed up and everyone likes him more than me and so pritty soon im gonna be alone again. Im gonna be exactly where ibwas last uear about this time and I really just wish i could not feel this way. I feel conpleetly alone and I feel like even though I have friends that ik wont leave me I feel like I'm still going to go down this dark hole again. I feel likw theres nothing i can do like im just stuck again. Next month wr were supose to move I was supose to he gitting my own room again and my stuff back but ik that wont be happening and I feel like what everyeone eles ks saying about me I feel like that is going to kill me and I feel like its going to kill me soon I've been in this place before and i mean I got betyer but did i? I feel like even though i have this azing best friend that wpuld most likely go to the end of the world with me and an amazong boufriend that loves me and told me he was going to fight to keep me (which no guy has ever told me) I feel like this is going to be the worst part of my uear likr this is going to be really painfull for me and i feel like theres nothing i can do. one of my closest friends thibk that I fucled up her relationship and that I stole her boyfriend and she wants to rip my head off. And my parents think that I'm a slut. And I am not eathet of thoes things. I am not a slut and i dont steal boyfriends. I just wish it would all be over. I wish i could be happy for once I wish that i never felt so shity and i wish that i never started any thing i did and I wish that I could just feel better and i wish that I didnt listen to anything that anyone says. i juat wish I didnt feel like shit all the time and i wish that I could be happy. I wish that my "friends" didnt hate me and i wiah that i didnt make everything aboit me and i really hate the attention but IG this is why I post to tumbler and try my hardest to not let anyone know what's really wrong with me.