#i think i’m gonna be anti meds for a bit so i can have feelings again and care about things more

[andhumanslovedstories]

That post seeking information on psych nursing was prompted by—well by a lot of things, I have a lot of feelings when I’m on that floor, chief amongst them being “I didn’t become a nurse to become a cop”—but in particular, a bit ago I was having a long conversation with a patient because they were feeling super nauseated but didn’t feel comfortable taking anti-nausea medication. And this patient was going through a lot (I’m gonna keep this pretty vague) and was fixated on this idea that someone at the hospital was poisoning their food for reasons explained to me in-depth. Okay, no meds then, we try some other stuff and I make them tea and we walk around, and they start feeling better thankfully, and even agree to take the nausea meds.

It’s been a good conversation and we’re really getting on, I think, so I talk with them a while longer, and we get back on the subject of the hospital, and the patient tells me a delusional thought they have about the hospital that was both impossible to be true and would be horrible if it was.

(This isn’t the delusion, but imagine it’s something equivalent to something like “the hospital gives out deadly nanotechnology to the nurses so that we can kill whatever patients we find annoying.” Something that is both evil and logistically impossible. We got a sternly worded email about too many employees using patient blankets for warmth and it was driving up the laundry bill, you know? Our unit is excited because we’re finally gonna get our own work phones instead of having to borrow everyone else’s. They aren’t giving us CIA murdertech and a license to kill. Also the vast majority of healthcare workers do not want to kill their patients. But again, just pragmatically, it’s not the budget.)

And I said something like, “For what it’s worth, I have never seen any evidence of that in my work. I know the hospital is a flawed institution, but if it was doing the thing you say it is doing, I could never work here.”

And the patient said, “if they’re doing what I say they’re doing, you have an obligation to keep working here so you could stop it.”

And god I’ve been thinking about that ethical argument ever since.

[munsonsgirl71]

Would you do a fluffy first date with Joseph Quinn? Maybe with a split reader and joe POV?

Perfect First Date - Joseph Quinn x Reader

A/N: I have no clue what happened with this... I've been working on it for DAYS and this idea just came out of nowhere. No clue if this is what you're looking for but it's fluffy with a bit of humor. Thank you for requesting!

“Awesome first date, huh?” You smiled weakly as you rolled your head towards the relative stranger sitting next to the hospital bed you were laying in. His brown eyes were sparkling under the fluorescents as he sat back in his chair, legs spread wide with his hands resting on his stomach. “You don’t have to stay. Seriously. You can go. It’s okay.” 

“Absolutely not.” He chuckled as he shook his head slowly. “I’m not leaving you here to get home by yourself, love. I’m not that kind of guy.” 

“Joe, it’s nearly midnight.” You rolled your eyes at his insistence to stay at your bedside but he just continued to shake his head. “Fine! You can stay.” 

“I was going to regardless.” He shrugged as his lips spread into that smile that made your knees weak and your head feel dizzy. “How’s your pain?” 

“Down to a five I think.” You flashed him your own smile as you held up your swollen wrist and looked at him through your splayed fingers. “You think it’s broken?” 

“If you can move it, I don’t think so.” He mused as he sat up and leaned towards you, taking your bruising arm into his big, warm hands. “You’re gonna have a wicked bruise though.” 

“Will it be wizard?” You giggled and his eyebrows shot up as the corners of his lips tipped down into a fake frown. “Sorry, sorry. I had to.” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He rolled his eyes but let his fingers brush up and down your arm as he scooted to the end of his chair. “It will be wizard though. The most metal.” 

“Ever?” You squealed quietly as your whole face lit up with your smile and he scrunched up his nose as he nodded. 

“Ever.” 

“Alright. Scans are back.” The doctor came in with a piece of paper in hands and you both looked towards him as he broke through your moment. Joe’s hands didn't leave your arm and you weren’t pulling away either. “There’s a tiny fracture at the base of your Ulna but it should heal on its own. I’m sending you home with some pain meds and some anti-inflammatories for the swelling. Try not to move it too much in the next few days, a week or so. Keep it elevated and ice it when needed. And you’ll need to set up an appointment with your primary care doctor in about two weeks just to check on things. Any questions for me?” 

“No, sir.” You shook your head as he handed you a piece of paper and you took it with your good hand. “Thank you.” 

“No problem.” His smile was professional as he typed a few things into his iPad and then looked up at you with amusement in his eyes. “Watch out for those curbs, okay? Don’t wanna see you back in here.” 

“You got it.” You giggled as he turned on his heels and left the room without another word. You sighed with relief as you rolled your head back towards Joe and his quirked left eyebrow. “What?” 

“I’m literally sitting right here and he was flirting with you!” There was laughter in his voice but his eyes narrowed as he looked towards the door. “Asshole.” 

“Joe!” You giggled as you swatted at him with the paper in your head and he turned back to you with fake offense written all over his face. “You’re the one who told him we were just friends.” 

“Well I can’t really call you more now can I? We haven't even finished our first date yet.” 

“Sorry.” You mumbled as you dropped your eyes to your lap and pulled your hand away from him to join the other on your thighs. “I really fucked this up, didnt I?” 

“Not at all.” He reassured as he laid both of his hands over yours and gave a light squeeze. “I’m having a lovely time. Best first date ever.” 

“You’re so full of it.” You rolled your eyes just as a petite blonde nurse bustled into the room rambling about your discharge paperwork and aftercare instructions as she unhooked you from all the machines. She was talking at you while her eyes kept flickering to Joe and you felt that uneasy feeling squeeze your heart as you watched her flirt. You couldn't blame her. You’d been doing the same thing all night long. But he was there with you and she could really learn to be more professional. 

An hour later after a stop off at the pharmacy you were leaning against the stone wall of your building as Joe fumbled with your keys in the lock. The pain meds they’d given you at the hospital had fully kicked in and you were a stumbling, drunk mess. 

“Joey! You gotta turn it over.” You giggled as you reached for his hand but it fell short and you giggled harder. “Flat on the bottom.” 

“I tried that, honey.” His eyes were focused on what his hands were doing and the tip of his pink tongue was poked out between his plump lips. “You’re sure this is the key?” 

“Yes!” You nodded as you drug out the s a little too long. “Gold square.” 

“You said triangle!” He shot you a betrayed look as he held up the key in his hand and you giggled again. 

“I did not, silly boy!” You shook your head wildly as you grabbed your key ring from him and shuffled through the metal until you found what you were looking for. You held it up in front of his face triumphantly as he narrowed his eyes at you, “Square. Flat side down.” 

He snatched the key from you and pushed it into the lock, another giggle escaping you as the deadbolt slid open and he rolled his eyes as he pushed the door open. You gave him a beaming smile as you sauntered into the foyer of your house and kicked off your shoes. He flicked on the light by the door and you hummed quietly as you reached for the hem of your shirt and pulled it up over your head, throwing it somewhere behind you. 

“Wh-what are you doing?” There was a bit of hesitation in his voice as you walked down the hall and started working on the button of your jeans. “Keep your pants on!” 

“You keep your pants on.” You mumbled over your shoulder as you took a hard left into your bedroom. “These clothes are suffocating! I need my jammies.” 

He stood in the foyer of your apartment as he listened to the sounds of you opening and closing drawers and shuffling out and into new clothes. You emerged ten minutes later to find him standing in the exact same spot with his coat still on and you giggled. 

“What’s funny?” 

“You’re so awkward. Take your jacket off and come inside.” You were still laughing as you crossed the hallway and pushed open the double doors to your living room. “Jesus, Joe. Relax.”

“I’m sorry.” He chuckled, more to himself than to you, as he shrugged out of his jacket and hung it up on the rack next to your door. “I just thought I wouldn’t be seeing the inside of your place until the third date.” 

“Our first date isn't even over and you’re already thinking about the third one?” You called back to him as you flipped on the tv and flopped backwards onto the couch just as he came into view. “That’s a little presumptuous of you, Mr. Quinn. What if I don’t want a third date?” 

“Well then I guess it’s a good thing I’m seeing it now.” He deadpanned as he joined you on the sofa, legs kicked up on your coffee table like he’d been there a million times as his arm went to rest on the back of the couch behind you. “Movie?” 

“Nah.” You shook your head as you clicked through the menu on the TV and pulled up Netflix. “I have a better idea.” 

“Don’t you even think…” He was cut off as you clicked on the show you’d been looking for and his eyes rolled into the back of his head as he threw it back against the cushions. “Don’t do this to me, love. Please.” 

“Oh come on, Joey!” You looked over at him with your bottom lip poked out in a pout. “I'm in pain and he makes me feel better.” 

“Eddie makes you feel better?” He pulled his head up and looked down at you with wide eyes. “Really?” 

“Yeah, that’s the whole point of a comfort character.” You looked at him with a blank stare and he rolled his eyes again. 

“Fine… just… fine.” 

“I'm just messing with you!” You giggled and his eyes widened as his nostrils flared out. “I just wanted to see your reaction. I would not make you sit here and watch Stranger Things with me. That’s fucking weird. And besides… who needs Eddie when I’ve got you?” 

“You’re a charmer, aren’t you?” He was smirking at you as you leaned your head onto his shoulder and threw your arm over his waist, shoving the remote into his free hand. 

“Find us something to watch, please.” You murmured as you cuddled into his side with a content sigh. “Is it okay if I cuddle?” 

“Shouldn’t you have asked before you got comfy?” You don't have to look up to know he’s smiling, you can hear it, and the way his arm slid around your shoulders from the back of the couch told you he didn’t mind in the slightest. He flipped through a couple of movies before he settled on one you’d never heard of and tossed the remote to the coffee table. 

“Can I ask you a question?” You whisper as the title credits start rolling and you pick your head up to look at him. He nods as his eyes slide from the screen to your face and you get lost in his brown irises for far too long, the clearing of his throat breaking you out of your trance. “Why’d you ask me out?”  

“What?” 

“That day in the coffee shop when I spilled my iced coffee all over your pants… Why did you ask me out?” You pushed against his stomach to set up a little more and a soft grunt huffed through his lips as you turned to face him. “I was a mess and I literally called you Joe before you even said anything so you obviously knew I recognized you. I’ve been trying to figure it out all week and I just… I’m coming up empty.” 

“You’re right, I did know that you knew who I was but it didn't matter to me.” He shrugged as he turned to face you. “Yeah you called me Joe but you just… treated me like a normal person? I don’t know how to describe it. You got all flustered and cute and your cheeks were pink but it’s because you spilled coffee, not because of me. And honestly, I saw this beautiful girl with an amazing smile and I knew I would regret it if I didn’t at least attempt to get to know you.” 

“Do you regret asking me? After the absolute shit show this night has been?” 

“Darling, I would push you off a million curbs if it meant I got to have more nights like this.” He laughed wholeheartedly and his body shook with the force. “Especially with you. Stop beating yourself up. We had a lovely dinner, a great chat and now we’re snuggled up on your couch watching a film. This has honestly been the best first date I have ever had.”  

“And you’re not just saying that right?” You pulled up an eyebrow as you narrowed your eyes at him, suspicious of his honesty cause honestly… How could this have been the best first date? He literally watched you step off a curb, try to catch yourself on your arm and then cry in pain when you felt something snap. He had rushed you to the nearest ED only to spend hours in the cold waiting room. It was a chaotic mess and it was your life. Shit like that happened to you all the time. 

“I am not just saying that.” He reassured you as his hand came up and cupped your cheek. “I mean every word. I have had the best time and I am looking forward to a million more dates with you.” 

“A million more?” Your eyes went wide as you nuzzled your cheek into his hand. “That’s a lot, Joe.” 

“We’ve got time, love.” And before you could even blink his plush pink lips were on yours and your entire body just melted into him. It was soft and warm, slow and sweet. 

The perfect first kiss. 

And as his lips moved with yours you silently hoped for a million more.

[enbyleighlines]

Damn I had a long, rough weekend.

(exasperated ramblings under the cut)

Actually, it started before the weekend.

I recently switched insurances because I now make too much for medicaid, a process that took several months because why not?

But finally I had insurance and I could go see my doctor, yay me!

They upped my dosage of zoloft, because I’ve been super irritable lately and I think it’s mostly burnout from work, but it had been a long time since my dosage had been adjusted, so I thought it probably wouldn’t hurt.

I start taking a higher dosage, work still sucks, but I feel a bit better, so yay.

Then a few days later, I get a letter from my insurance saying that they will not pay for my zoloft, because it’s not on their list, and I will have to find a different anti-anxiety medication.

My doctors receive a similar letter and message me, asking me to schedule a time for another apt so that we can work on that.

Fuck that, I do not want to go through the emotional turmoil of trying a different anti-anxiety med. It took a long time for me to find one that works for me, and I don’t want to go thru that process again, esp with all the stressors currently in my life.

So I tell them, pls just let me stay on this for now, I will pay out of pocket, I don’t have the time or energy for this at this moment.

Flash forward, and it’s time for me to get a refill of zoloft. I’ve already been paying for it out of pocket for those months I didn’t have health insurance, so I knew it was gonna be costly, but I think it’s worth it. I ask my doctors for a refill, as per usual.

That was on Thursday.

Unfortunately, due to my adhd brain, I forget to go grab my prescription from the pharmacy. But that’s okay. I can go one day without zoloft. I’ve done it before.

But by the end of Friday, I knew I needed to pick up my prescription. I don’t want to go two days without zoloft, or else I start to feel funky: brain zaps, headache, nausea, etc. And of course there’s the anxiety and depression coming back, stronger than ever.

So I remember to go to the pharmacy on Friday afternoon, after work.

Except… they don’t have my prescription.

I call the on-call doctor, and ask them what happened to my zoloft.

They say they sent it to hannahfords.

I’m at cvs.

I haven’t used the pharmacy at hannahfords in the past 4 years, because I moved, and now cvs is closer.

Weird, but fine.

I could go to hannahfords, but I would have to take the bus, and it’s raining super hard, and I don’t want to walk from the bus stop to hannahfords in the pouring rain.

I ask cvs if they can transfer my prescription. They say sure but not right now. We can do it tomorrow.

Alright, well that’s fine. I can pick up my meds in the morning, and then I will still have only skipped one day. No biggie. Feeling relieved, I head on home.

The next morning, I return to cvs.

They say it’s too early, they just opened. They can transfer my prescription later in the day. They will call me when it’s done.

Alright. So it looks like I might be skipping another day of my meds. It sucks, but okay.

The hours go by. I don’t get a call. I focus on drawing and watching anime, and I try not to think about it.

The evening finally comes. My head is starting to hurt a little bit.

I get a call.

Good news: cvs successfully transferred the prescription.

Bad news: they are out of stock of my medication and will need to have it shipped in. It may take a couple of days.

I can’t wait two more days.

I have a panic attack.

I calm down. I tell myself I can go to cvs tomorrow and see if they can help. Maybe they have some zoloft in the back? Idk, I just need enough to tide me over until the shipment, and I’m desperate.

I go to cvs. I tell them my predicament. They are sympathetic but their hands are tied. They have no zoloft. They tell me to maybe check another pharmacy. Except it’s Sunday, so the closest pharmacy that’s actually open is…

Hannahfords.

Well, okay. It’s a beautiful day, no rain, so I don’t mind taking the trip.

I get to hannahfords. I say hey can you please transfer my prescription back here so I can have my medicine.

They say, sorry. They’re out of stock, too.

They’re also all out of zoloft???

Except, no. The woman at the desk explains they have plenty of the 100mg tablets in stock.

I say great, I take 2 of those a day, per my doctor’s instructions.

But that’s not what is on my prescription this time.

The prescription my doctor wrote says to take 1 200mg tablet a day. And yes, that amounts to the same, the woman explains, but because your prescription asks for the 200mg tablets, I can’t give you the 100mg ones.

I can order the 200mg tablets for you, she tells me. It will take a couple of days.

Now that’s just infuriating.

I ask her, please, is there any way I can get my zoloft sooner?

She tells me I can call the on-call doctor and have them change the prescription from 1 200mg tablet a day to 2 100mg tablets a day.

So I do.

And finally, finally, on 2pm on Sunday afternoon, I get my medication.

God fucking dammit.

Why was all of that so complicated???

[neuroticboyfriend]

ty for the “we don’t have to consider the dui ppl evil monsters forever.” This you can skip I think now if you don’t want a story of why your post is gonna change my life a little bit.

I have a owi from a boss getting drunk as hell with me and I very much went along with the evening for like idk stupid professional relations reasons I guess, and ended up in a ditch etc. I unfortunately received another dui after I was drinking at home in my backyard two years later sorta mid-meltdown, and after an exchange with an equally intoxicated neighbor was chased about 120 ft to my car which I drove to some neighbors (rural area) about 2 min away l, but literally got pulled over by the cops along that stretch as they kinda park-camp there.

My life was ruined. I was not well in jail for 90 days after the second one, as was denied anti-psychotics, sleep aids, and anti-depressants so stuck in a suicide suit and in solitary. I had worked for the state for a decade but no longer could, and I was stuck in the county that had no mental health services for me due to the limits of our CMH. I had to live with friends for two years of probation because I couldn’t drive or work without being able to drive. I did some wfh stuff during Covid (thank god wfh surge saved me tbh) but had to bike 10 miles each way or get a ride a couple times a week for drug tests, support meetings, classes etc for 2 years. I had to borrow money and pay ppl back years later for covering the costs of the drug tests and classes.

I had worked for the state for nearly a decade, graduated with a degree, had an apartment, boyfriend, the whole works: but I had no mental health access for a decade and had essential emergency services trying to toss meds at me, when I would ask to be hospitalized or finally was, and after about 7-8 years I was maladaptive as hell unable to get counseling or med management, drinking with bosses and melting down in my backyard.

I finally got mental health and other services: I have Tourette’s, autism, adhd, and ocd. And a nice helping of the cptsd but idk that one’s pretty managed. I have a bunch of broken teeth from clenching from stress and Tourette’s. The only help I got out of that county was Christian substance abuse services in classes that I had to do for probation for two years. I cannot imagine how different my life would be if I could have gotten the services the judge said I had complete access to.

I have never felt like anyone could be capable of understanding that I’m not a monster and I didn’t want to do anything bad. I understand very well why ppl are so aggressive against drunk driving as I’m in one of the worse states for it and we have some of the strongest laws for it. It’s a felony in Canada and I can’t go there anymore because of it. And it’s been idk 5 years now that I’ve never seen or heard a message like this and it is just so moving.

I’ve been holding myself back so much because I did a bad and I don’t feel like a deserve to like use social services or anything anymore like anything that could burden the state or community. I fell so far like possessions wise, asset wise, materially, professionally, in housing etc. that I need those services frankly. I don’t do things or try to interact with people, I’ve done like 5 years of shame vs regret exercises but it doesn’t matter I just don’t feel like I should get to be part of society and that no one wants me to be anymore. And I think if I saw things like this just once in awhile amongst the regular dui messaging it would be really great.

I do run a smart recovery meeting which is like science backed substance abuse program very much online nowadays but I want to do more but I’m still very in my head about it. I’m gonna try to think about this perspective from time to time. So thank you.

Anon I am telepathically giving the biggest hug ever, and if you dont want a hug then. I'm sending so much support and understanding your way. I'm so happy you found my post, especially since I've gotten a little bit of hell for it. Knowing it comforted just one person makes it worth it.

You're not a monster, and what the state did to you is not okay. It's inhumane, and you didn't deserve a single part of it. It's not even remotely fair that your right to health and safety was so grossly violated. And I'm glad you seem to be doing better than you were. I hope as time goes on, you find more of your place in this world.

I know things will never be the same, and I know how much stands in your way - even though I can't truly conceptualize it. But there will always be more people than you know who see see your humanity. Who want you in this world with us - not just tolerate it. And I think it's really wonderful you run the recovery program. You've probably changed a lot of lives, for the better. That's awesome!

And thank you for trusting your story with me. I've been struggling with some substance abuse lately, and I think getting this ask is gonna get me through another night of not. Fucking up. Sometimes people just need to feel connection, I think. So you changed my life a little bit, too.

[floral-hex]

Okay, I think I’m FINALLY going to wean myself off of lexapro!

How to I add a read more tag? I keep forgetting. Anyway, gonna be some weight mentions, mental health stuff, general body fuckery below this, so warning. Also, this is just boring, so why would you want to read this anyway?

I’ve been meaning to get off of Lexapro for a long while now. If you scroll back long enough through my “text” tag (why would you, though?), you’ll see me mentioned hating it multiple times over the last couple of years. I just don’t like it. Bad drugs. Okay, let’s roll back to what I remember of my medicated beginnings. I only first started taking lexapro because my insurance stopped covering the meds I already took and actually liked (Viibryd. Good stuff). Immediately within the first days of taking lexapro, it made me want to physically die. Tons of chest pain, nausea, hard breathing, icky stuff. That took a while to fade away. I should mention that my doc said that I shouldn’t have ANY negative side effects when switching the meds, so getting any kind of negative feelings was a huge red flag I just decided to ignore. Nowadays… okay, I’m going to be real with you, I’m never 100% sure what’s a side-effect of lexapro and what’s just my trash body. I get nauseas a lot. A lot! I feel weak. I have almost zero sex drive. I’m not exactly peppy. I get tingles and numbness in my hands and arms (told my primary about this but he kinda shrugged it off which is… not ideal). I’ve gained too much weight. Yeah yeah, weight gain is normal, it’s not inherently bad, but I’ve been going to the gym multiple times a week for half a year now and it’s not budging. I get nauseas trying to work out. Incredibly so. I feel like I have to puke before too long. I get dizzy. I feel so low energy. I’ve tried to eat healthier. I work out quite a bit. I just feel weak. It’s not about feeling fat, I swear. I feel weak. I’ve seen a lot of people mention weight gain and/or weakness on lexapro. I can’t be sure it’s all because of it, but I’m willing to try going without for awhile to see how things progress. And really, I just straight up do not want it in my body anymore. I should talk with a doctor first, buuuut… I’m going to do it anyway. We’ve talked about it before, but usually with the belief that I’d be switching to something else. Nope, I’m just gonna go raw now. See what it’s like without anti anxiety meds. I have a scheduled appointment next month, so that will give me time to get off and try to adjust before seeing him again.

What’s the point of this text post? I don’t know. Maybe so I can look it up in half a year when trying to remember how I felt physically at the beginning of the year (not great, future me!). Anyway, I hope no one stumble upon this and it scares them away from looking into anxiety meds. Lexapro sucked for me. I’ve also seen tons of post from people who say it works for them. All bodies are fucked up in their own ways, so don’t take this ramble as gospel for how this med will make you feel… but also, fuck lexapro.

[zephiesjournal]

friday, october 21st, 2022

picked up meds today, was going to go get glasses too and just get all that done at once but it was apparently going to rain but i don’t know if it did, can’t remember. i was just gonna sit and try to get through as much of this warcraft lore stuff as possible so i’d be comfortable playing through the game some more, and i really got distracted going down rabbitholes on the wiki looking up everything i read about in the book. i wish it was easier for me to get back into reading once something takes me out of it like that, even though the thing that took me out of it was literally supplementary reading.

played hearthstone again and it got me in a card game mood, thought i’ve never tried magic so i should give that a go. just try a bunch of different card games i’m in that mood. downloaded mtg arena and went through tutorial stuff and really enjoyed it but i sure am bad at it whenever it makes me play against someone else. i have fun playing these games but then i think about how much effort it would take to learn to be good at them and i can feel that fun start dwindling. had my first Alcoholic Beverage in a while, and who knew a good way to keep off it was to have an absurd amount of cider in my fridge that i never feel like drinking because i don’t like it much, and i never want to buy anything else because “i’ve got all that cider at home”.

everyone says legends of runeterra is really good and i should try it but mmm league of legends. normally not being interested in the source material wouldn’t matter hell i played hearthstone when it came out and i didn’t care about warcraft but i so anti-care about league of legends that it ruins it for me. then i had my most cursed thought of 2022, what if i downloaded, on purpose, the video game program league of legends, onto my personal computing system, and ran it. i wondered if it was like picross in that just seeing it be played wasn’t enough for me to understand the appeal and maybe just playing it a bit i’d maybe kinda get it and wouldn’t be so out off by it. all i came out of it truly understanding is that the tutorial is notoriously awful. i watched a single “beginner’s guide” video and i can’t believe this game is so popular and people play it willingly. i’m going to try it again properly tomorrow but man. what an impossibly impossible seeming game to get into.

[starlightrows]

In The Eye Of The Beholder

Chapter 1

Next →

Pairing: Commander Wolffe x reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: brief description and mildly graphic medical jargon about losing an eye and having a prosthetic implant placed

Summary: Shortly after the events of the Battle of Khorm, the Kaminoans don’t see the value in moving forward with treatment for Commander Wolffe... you, the GAR doctor on the Coruscant disagree

“I don’t remember asking for your goddamn opinion ambassador!” you shout up at the pale long necked Kaminoan, who’s been passively berating you in an attempt to get your patient taken off life support. Your communicator goes off loudly, and you feel no shame in looking at it instead of listening to the Kaminoan ambassadors retort.

“I’m sorry ambassador, but this discussion is over. The requisition for the cybernetic prosthesis has gone through and whether you like it or not, I am going to give that man a fighting chance. He didn’t lay down his life to be tossed out with the garbage. Now get out of my med bay,” your turn on your heel, and begin speaking into your comlink to arrange for the surgery to get underway immediately.

The procedure took nine grueling hours to fully clear out the wound, put in the prosthetic eye and reconstruct the damage to the soldier's facial structure. He stood a good chance of making a full recovery if the cybernetic innervations healed correctly. Now it was just a matter of letting him rest and wake up in his own time.

Most clone troopers in the GAR hospital didn’t get many visitors, most didn’t stay long enough to need visitors though the ones that lived through their ordeals usually recovered on transports back to the front line. But this trooper had a frequent visitor, a Jedi.

“He must be a very good commander for you to check in on him so often,” you comment one afternoon, standing by the door. The tall Kel Dor turned to face you.

“He is. A dutiful, loyal, hardworking commander. But that is not why I come to see him,” he says

“Why then? Certainly a Jedi Master and a General in the Grand Army of the Republic has many duties and responsibilities to see to,” you approach the bed with your tray of fresh wound dressings for his eye.

“The same reason you advocated for him when the Kaminoans wanted to let him die. He is a person. An individual. He is a good man. And he is a member of my team,” he explains while you work to remove the bandages that keep the stitches and cybernetics clean.

“You care for him,” you say with a smile, applying a layer of bacta gel to the stitches with a cotton bud.

“Indeed. I care for him, and all of his brothers that serve under my command. I am not the only one who worries after his health,” The jedi steps around you, trying not to be in the way.

“Well that makes two of us. I don’t even know him, but I want him to live. And not just to keep serving the republic,” you finish applying the bacta gel and begin rewrapping his head with clean bandages.

“You have a good heart doctor, and better view of the troopers than most. I think he’ll like you when he has the chance to formally meet you,” the jedi says

“I should hope so, he’ll have to come back fairly regularly for check ups and case study updates. He’s the first living being with this particular model of prosthesis. If he doesn’t like me, it’ll be a very unpleasant couple months until the study is complete,” you’ve finished wrapping his head, but find you can’t stop looking at his handsome face. True you’ve seen thousands exactly like his before, but right now it’s as if you’ve never seen anyone like him.

“I’ll be the first to admit, he’s stubborn and a bit gruff. But he’s not so bad once you get to know him, he’s fiercely protective and hates to feel weak. This will be a difficult recovery for him, but I have confidence in him. And in you doctor,” you tear your gaze away from the commander and smile at the jedi.

“Thank you master jedi,” you give him a small bow of your head out of respect.

“Plo,” he says “No need for such formalities,” you wonder briefly if he is smiling beneath his deoxygenator, it certainly sounds like it.

“And him? They don’t include their chosen names in their identification codes, just CC and CT numbers. I doubt he goes by his CC number day to day,” you pack away your equipment, unfortunately other patients are waiting, as much as you would love to stay and chat with the kind jedi master. Plo tracks your movements, he senses your rising anxieties about having to leave and attend to other matters in the hospital. Just as you’re about to leave without getting an answer, Plo speaks up.

“His name is Wolffe”

—

Much to your delight, Commander Wolffe does wake up within a few days. And he’s every bit the stubborn, defensive, and unwilling patient Master Plo promised he would be. He keeps getting up and trying to leave despite obviously being in immense physical pain, he’s already ripped his stitches once, and he’s down right refusing to let you get near him to check the wound and change the dressing.

“Commander Wolffe I am at my wits end here. I’m going to step out to allow you a visitor, and when I come back you will be laying on that bed, I am changing those dressings, you are taking your medication. Is that that clear?” You bark at him. He glares at you with his one amber eye but does not respond.

You push the door open and see Master Plo waiting on the other side.

“He’s all yours General, talk some sense into him if you can,” you toss the comment over your shoulder as you head down to the nurses station for a cup of water.

Master Plo enters the patient room, and finds Wolffe pacing against the far wall. His head snaps up, and he visibly struggles to bring the newcomer into his field of vision.

“General!” Wolffe says in surprise, straightening his posture

“Wolffe, your doctor tells me you’re refusing care,” Plo closes the door behind him.

“I should be out there,” Wolffe growls “Kriff… I shouldn’t even be alive right now. They’re keeping me alive to keep me in a box!”

Plo senses that there is something more, something he’s holding back, beyond wanting to be released from med bay.

“You know better than most that withholding the truth can be the determining factor between life and death,” Master Plo says carefully, approaching Wolffe with slow movements “but this truth is one that needs to be shared,”

Wolffe’s shoulders drop and what little color he’s managed to regain drains from his face. His knees give out and he sinks down onto the floor, tears stain both his good cheek and the bandage. Master Plo moves to join him on the floor.

“Good soldiers don’t lay around in hospital beds and weep over superficial pain,” Wolffe says weakly “Soldiers that don’t recover quickly… get decommissioned and sent back to Kamino in a box,”

“You are already recovering quickly, and your doctor can give you something for the pain so you can heal faster,” Plo says cooly “You are not being sent back to Kamino. Your doctor made sure of that,”

“What?” Wolffe was surprised to hear this, up to this point all of his conscious interactions with you had been rather gruff and none too friendly, he can’t imagine why you weren’t doing everything in your power to get him out of your hospital and out of your way.

“A Kaminoan ambassador came to assess treatment at this hospital and saw your condition, they incorrectly assumed that it would be more beneficial to cease all treatment. Your doctor, shall we say, violently disagreed,”

“Violently sir?”

“They were furious she went ahead with the surgery. Believe me, if someone had recorded it on a holo I would show it to you. It was quite the spectacle,” Master Plo laughs “She was adamant that you deserved a fighting chance,”

—

Later that evening after General Plo had left, you returned to Wolffe’s room with a tray of equipment to change his dressings, and medicine to help with the pain.

“Commander Wolffe if I come into this room and you throw something or scream at me, I will have you physically restrained,” you say sharply before fully entering the room. He’s sitting on the bed facing away from the door.

“I won’t yell,” he replies quietly without turning around, his tone is decidedly gentler than before. Whatever the General said to him must have done the trick. You approach him cautiously, rounding the end of his bed so you could get a good look at him. His face is set in a harsh grimace.

“Are you in pain?” You ask. He nods but doesn’t reply. “I am going to change those dressings and we’re gonna test out that new eye. I think with a good dose of anti inflammatory medication, and some intraocular movement you’ll feel better,”

He nods again, you drag a chair over and sit in front of him, he doesn’t bat your hand away when you move to unwrap his bandages. The silvery white cybernetic eye under the protective padding is downcast to match its whiskey gold twin. The stitches are finally healing up with the help of the bacta gel.

“Good news Commander I think you’re healed enough you won’t need a fresh bandage. Now let’s see how well this prosthesis works. Can you look at my nose?” You remove a penlight from your pocket and shine it in each of his eyes.

You run through a series of tests asking him to stare straight ahead at you, follow the light with his eyes, and tell you when he can or can’t see you moving the end of the pen out of his vision. Pressure and tightness on his left side subsides he continues moving his eye around.

“Your reactions look normal, how does it feel?” you click off your penlight and tuck it away.

“Hurts a bit less,” he quietly admits “I’m sorry about before,”

His change in demeanor is a surprise but a welcome one, far better than him trying to escape or aggressively get away from you. You give him a small cup with the anti inflammatory medicine in it, and second small cup with water. He takes the pills without complaint. You remain seated in front of him, to maintain this comfortable closeness.

“It’s okay. I know this isn’t easy,” you give him a sympathetic look.

“General Plo mentioned that you advocated for me, I would be dead if it wasn’t for you…” he falters “thank you,”

That familiar feeling you had before when he was still on life support crept back up on you. Heartbreak for how much he and his brothers have to sacrifice, longing to show him the appreciation he deserves, and something else, something you can’t place.

“This war won’t last forever. You deserve the chance to live in the freedom and peace you fight so hard to protect,”

He’s a bit stunned. Sure he’s heard a handful of politicians advocating for clone rights, but he’s never heard anyone say something like this. He can tell your words are genuine and heartfelt.

“Is there any way I can repay you, or thank you for sticking your neck out for me?” He asks “It takes guts to stand up to those soulless bastards,”

“Well ah… don’t thank me too fast. I know you didn’t exactly sign up for this but your prosthetic is a brand new top of the line prototype. By default you’re a participant in the longitudinal study of its effectiveness,” you admit sheepishly. He raises an eyebrow and peers at you. “On the positive side, you’ll get a bit more shore leave to come in for appointments,”

“Well that’s certainly nothing to complain about. My offer still stands, can I take you out as a thank you?”

You smile warmly and quirk up a brow to match him. “Take me out? Hm… I get off in a couple hours and you’re being discharged from med bay today, I’m game if you give me a chance to run home and ditch my scrubs,”

“It’s a deal,”

[hangovercurse]

Once a Month

Colson doesn’t understand why you’re acting so strange, so you have to explain that your monthly visitor has arrived.

Request: “Hi, I love your writing! If you want to write something like that, I have a suggestion: Not to be mean but I think Colson can be really dumb/ignorant about stuff that doesn’t concern him. Idk maybe hes in a relationship with the reader and doesn’t understand stuff that comes with being a women, either period stuff or body hair stuff idk? And he hurts her with commenting about it without noticing? And please fluff in the end where he gets educated”

Colson x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, fighting, talking about periods, a single sexual reference

A/N: I don’t know how this got so long...

Word Count: 2945

Having a vagina really fucking sucks sometimes. Specifically, for one week a month, when your body decided it needed to bleed out of said vagina for a whole week. No period was easy, and yours was no exception. But getting your period while living in a house with a bunch of guys, who all had dicks, was a nightmare. It seemed like no one knew what you were going through physically and emotionally. You had been on Depo-Provera since you met Colson, so you had never been on your period around him. But your doctor decided to take you off of it because your bone mineral content was getting too low. So here you were, 6 months later, and getting your first period post- birth control.

You had a more hormonal period, meaning you were constantly jumping from one mood to another. Today was your third day, and you wanted to rip your uterus out. You were sitting on the couch, curled up next to Colson as a movie played on the TV. Your cramps were killing you, so you weren’t really paying attention to anything that was happening.

You heard someone say something about a club, and you assumed they were suggesting going to a club, even though they went last night, and the night before, and the night before. And normally you would be down for clubbing with your boyfriend and your friends, but today the stabbing pain in your abdomen told you “no,” just as it had for the past few days.

All the guys had agreed, their eyes landing on you and waiting for a response. “Uh, I’m not really feeling it tonight, guys.”

Colson rolled his eyes, “you haven’t been feeling it all week.” He complained and you frowned.

“I just don’t want to go tonight.” You mumbled, a little angry that he would start an argument in front of all the guys.

“Why do you have to be such a buzzkill?” He complained, the arm that was previously wrapped around you pulled away. “You’ve been in a shitty mood all week, it’s fucking annoying.”

You bit your lip, feeling tears biting at your eyes. You weren’t sure if you were upset or angry, or both. But you knew it wouldn’t be pretty to keep this conversation going. “Whatever, have fun.” You scoffed, the anger taking over. You rolled your eyes and stood up, walking to yours and Colson’s shared bedroom. You made it just past the doorway when the tears started rolling down your face.

You closed the door behind you and shut the light off before trying to muffle your cries with the sleeve of Colson’s shirt that you were wearing. You laid down on the bed, facing away from the door in an almost fetal position. The tears didn’t stop, and all you could focus on was Colson’s anger towards you. Why couldn’t you just be a good girlfriend and go with him? Why did you have to be a buzzkill?

You heard the garage open and shut, signaling that the group had left for the club. He’s probably going to find a girl to hook up with tonight. Your brain told you, making you cry even harder.

And then you felt guilty for thinking that. Wow, you really think so low of Colson that you think he’d cheat on you. You really are the world’s worst girlfriend.

Every thought spiraled into another, until you decided to watch TV to distract yourself. It worked pretty well, your period head being happy from the dopamine you got while watching The Good Place. But, like all good things, your happy mood came to an end when you heard the garage door open hours later.

You looked at your phone, realizing it was already 3am. You had hoped to be asleep when Colson got home, but you hadn’t managed to drift off to sleep, probably because you’d taken a nap at 2pm earlier. You sighed, preparing for the mess that was about to come through the door.

And like you had summoned him; Colson came stumbling through the door of your bedroom. “Why are you still awake?” He grumbled, stripping his shirt off.

You shrugged, pausing Chidi’s rant about the ethics of truth. “Couldn’t sleep.” Colson sat on the edge of his side of the bed, tattooed back facing you, typing on his phone. The smell of alcohol and weed coming from him made you feel queasy. “You should take a shower.”

Colson stood back up, throwing his phone on the nightstand, and taking off his jeans. “I’ll take one in the morning.” You shut the TV off, laying down fully in the bed to face your boyfriend. He pulled the comforter back, climbing into the bed beside you and pulling you into his arms.

You pushed him away, the smell even worse now. Colson tsked at you, glaring at you as you scrunched your nose up in disgust. “What the fuck is your problem?” You rolled onto your side, your back facing him. “Is this because I called you a buzzkill earlier? It’s not that serious.” He rolled his eyes, even though you couldn’t see him, and flipped onto his back.

“It’s not but thanks for bringing it up.” You mumbled, still turned away from him. Your mind wandered back to the conversation earlier in the evening, and you got upset about it all over again.

Colson sighed, his hands moving to rub his face. “Then please, tell me what I did this time.” He sat up, flicking on the lamp beside him to light up the room. You groaned, burying your head into your pillow.

“You just smell.” You mumbled into the fabric.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He mumbled to himself, but you still heard it, “You’re mad at me because I smell?”

You let out an annoyed sigh, “I’m not mad at you, I just can’t stand the smell of you right now. It’s making me sick.” You could feel his temper rising even though you couldn’t see him. The feeling made you want to cry.

“Seriously, Y/N? What the fuck is up with you lately? You’ve been acting like a bitch all week.” Now that did make you cry. You sat up, grabbing your pillow and your phone and standing up, walking towards the door. “Where are you going?” Colson asked, more annoyed then concerned.

Colson couldn’t see your face, but he could hear your sniffle as you opened the closet and pulled down an extra blanket. “I’m sleeping on the couch.” You continued your trek to the door, pausing as your hand touched the handle, “Sorry for being such a shitty girlfriend.” You muttered, opening the door and leaving the room.

You threw the pillow onto the couch, laying down and pulling the blanket over you.  Your hand came up to your mouth as you muffled your sobs again, hoping no one else in the house could hear you. Colson sat in his bed, staring at the door that you just left through with a confused expression. You’d gotten into worse fights before and you hadn’t cried then, what was so different now?

He threw his head back onto the bed, a frustrated groan leaving his mouth. He was in no state to convince you back to bed, and he knew you wouldn’t listen to him anyways, so he turned the lamp off and tried to go to sleep.

 You woke up at 7 the next morning due to your cramps feeling like someone was stabbing you from inside your body. You knew you wouldn’t go back to sleep, and the pain was intense, but the only anti-inflammatory medication in the house was in yours and Colson’s bathroom, which meant you would have to go through the room to get it. And you were very determined to not go in there, assuming he was probably still mad at you. You didn’t think you could handle him yelling at you again.

But after an hour and a half of trying to distract yourself with your phone, you felt like you were gonna throw up if you didn’t take any meds. So, you dragged yourself off the couch, walking into the kitchen to grab a piece of bread (don’t take anti-inflammatories on an empty stomach y’all) and shoving it in your mouth. It wasn’t the best thing in the world to eat at 8:30 in the morning, but it would be enough to prevent the Aspirin from fucking up your stomach.

You shuffled to your room, hesitantly reaching for the door handle. You knew Colson would be asleep, but you were still shaking with anxiety. Taking a deep breath, you slowly opened the door, relaxing a bit when you saw your boyfriend sleeping. You stepped lightly, trying to be as quiet as possible as you crossed the room to the bathroom.

Once in the tiled room you shuffled through the drawers, trying to find the bottle that would magically relieve your pain. You frowned as you pulled open the fourth drawer, still not finding the bottle. You were sure you had a bottle in here somewhere.

“Babe?” Shit. Colson’s morning voice called from the bed. You peaked your head out of the bathroom, his eyes finding yours.

“Sorry, I’m just looking for the Aspirin.” You said quietly, moving back into the bathroom to continue your search.

“It’s in here.” Of course it’s in there, why wouldn’t it be in there?

You trudged out of the bathroom, finding the bottle in his hands. You flashed him a small smile, grabbing the bottle from his hands. Any thoughts of last night momentarily left your mind as you poured two tablets into your hand. “Everything okay?” Colson sat up, watching as you moved towards your side of the bed.

“Yeah.” You said, walking to your nightstand to grab the water that you keep there. You swallowed the pills, looking at Colson’s concerned face. “I’m fine, just cramps.”

Looking at his face made your heart fall. Even when you two were fighting he was worried about you. “Can we talk about last night?” You asked, realizing you needed to address your argument. Colson nodded, reaching to pull you onto the bed. You loved morning Colson; he was very cuddly.

You happily moved into his arms, your chest pressed against his back, his arms around your middle, and head resting against yours. “I’m sorry I got so upset.” You mumbled. “My hormones are making me an emotional wreck. I forgot how bad they could get.”

“What do you mean?” He asked, looking down at you. There was concern in his eyes, but a lot of confusion.

You tilted your head, realizing he hadn’t pieced things together. “You know, my period hormones.” He furrowed his eyebrows and you laughed softly. “Oh my god have you never experienced this with a girl?”

He frowned, “No. I thought your birth control stopped your periods?”

“Yeah, but remember I had to stop taking it a few months ago? It’s finally fully out of my system.”

He nodded, “Wait so what does your period have to do with hormones?”

You tilted your head back so your crown fell against his chest as you tried not to laugh. “You know how people always ask a girl if she’s on her period when she gets really mad or upset?” Colson nodded, his eyes trained on you, listening attentively. “Well, its because when you get your period, for the last few days leading up to it and the first few days you’re on it, certain hormone levels are low. So, you’re really sensitive emotionally. The levels raise throughout your cycle, so you get less irritable after the first few days, but its still not necessarily fun.”

“So, when I complained about you not wanting to go out…”

“I got really upset. I mean I would’ve gotten upset either way, but I probably would’ve brushed it off normally.” You laced your fingers through his. “And the reason I didn’t want to go out was because I could barely stand up, much less go out and party.”

“Wait actually?” He seemed genuinely concerned.

You chuckled a little at his childlike wonder of your period. “Yeah, even if I take medicine my cramps kill me. And I’m either really tired or really awake most of the time.”

“Where are your cramps?” He asked, and you moved his hands towards your lower stomach. “Here?” You nodded, and he started massaging the area softly, easing some of the pain. “Is that helpful or does it make it worse?” He asked.

You hummed, “very helpful.” He continued his motions and you kept explaining. “Heat also helps. I used to have a hot water bottle but I got rid of it since I wasn’t getting my periods anymore. And I haven’t felt good enough to go to the store and get another.”

He kissed the skin behind your ear, resting his head there. “You should’ve told me, babe. I would’ve gotten you one.” You shrugged, smiling at his worry. “I wouldn’t’ve been such a dick, too.” He mumbled.

You turned your body to face him, wrapping your hands around his neck, “you didn’t know, babe. It’s okay. But maybe you shouldn’t be a dick even when I’m not on my period.” You gave him a wide, sarcastic smile.

“I know, I’m sorry.” He whispered, a frown on his face. You leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “Is there anything else I should know about your period?”

“I get really bad cravings, like chocolate, candy, salty food, literally anything. And it’s always random.”

He pecked your lips, “Tell me what you want and I’ll get it for you.” You smiled, closing your eyes, and resting your forehead against his.

“Oh, and we can’t have sex.” He pulled away from you, a confused look on his face. “Babe, I’m bleeding out of my vagina. It would be really really gross.”

“But that doesn’t mean we can’t do other things, right?” He tilted his head, smirking.

“Don’t ask me to blow you while I’m on my period. If I want to, I’ll tell you.” You giggled. “Seriously, this shit sucks.”

“You’re telling me.” He chuckled and you slapped his chest lightly. “I’m kidding.” He pulled you closer to him so your head was pressed against his chest. You could hear his heartbeat and it made you smile. “Whatever you need, just tell me and I’ll do it.” He mumbled; lips pressed against your hair.

You looked up at him, pressing a kiss to his jaw. “You could take a shower?” You asked sweetly.

He laughed, “was that a period thing too?”

You nodded, “yeah I get sick really easily. I can’t go in a car unless I’m driving because I get too nauseous. Some smells can set me off too.”

He nodded, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. “Hey, just promise me one thing?” You looked up at him, urging him to continue. “Next time something’s wrong, tell me, please? I know you’re my soulmate and everything but I can’t read your mind.”

Your eyes widened when he said that, cheeks turning red. “You really think that?” You asked in awe.

“Of course I think that. You’re literally my perfect half. You get along with all my friends, you take care of Casie like she’s your own kid, you put up with all of my shit. I dunno, I just feel like we were made for each other.” You leaned up, pulling him in for a long, sweet kiss.

“I am so in love with you.” You whisper as you pulled away. “Like so so so in love with you.” You smiled.

He kissed you again, a smile on his face. “Oh, one more thing.” He said, and you hummed in response. “Next time we have a fight, don’t walk out on me, please? I don’t want us to go to sleep mad at each other.”

You nodded, moving your arms to take his hands in yours. “I won’t. I promise.” You whispered. “Can you promise me something?” You looked up at him, his eyes entrancing yours. “If we are fighting, can we not do it in front of our friends?”

He nodded, kissing you once more. “Promise.”

“Do you have plans today?” You asked.

“I don’t think so.”

“Can we stay in bed and cuddle all day?” You gave him your best puppy dog eyes and he broke out into a smile.

He nodded, “We can do whatever you want to do, sweetheart.” You smiled, practically tackling him back onto the bed so you were laying down, you clinging to him like a Koala bear. “I’ll send Irv and Baze to the store in a while for you.”

You rolled your eyes, smiling into his neck. “I would complain that you should do it yourself, but that would require you leaving me, and that’s not happening anytime soon.” Colson opened his mouth to say something, but you cut him off, “except for you taking a shower. I have not forgotten.”

“Damn.”

You giggled, sticking to his chest as he sat up, trying to get out of bed. “You say you want me to shower but you’re making it impossible to get out of bed.”

“You have to be nice to me, I’m on my period.” You smiled up at him.

He shook his head, chuckling. “Fine, I guess I’ll just bring you into the shower with me.”

“I’m not complaining. But I’m just warning you I’m bloated as hell right now.”

“And yet you’re still the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

[munsonsgirl71]

I posted 1,541 times in 2022

That's 1,541 more posts than 2021!

95 posts created (6%)

1,446 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@munsonquinns

@munson-trashcan

@eddiemunsonfuxks

@wroteclassicaly

@hellfirehoe

I tagged 325 of my posts in 2022

#eddie munson - 62 posts

#p's recs - 56 posts

#joseph quinn - 48 posts

#joe quinn - 37 posts

#eddie munson fanfic - 34 posts

#p's asks - 26 posts

#eddie munson smut - 25 posts

#eddie munson x reader - 24 posts

#stranger things - 24 posts

#p talks - 22 posts

Longest Tag: 54 characters

#i would have thrown him down right there on the street

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Would you do a fluffy first date with Joseph Quinn? Maybe with a split reader and joe POV?

Perfect First Date - Joseph Quinn x Reader

A/N: I have no clue what happened with this... I've been working on it for DAYS and this idea just came out of nowhere. No clue if this is what you're looking for but it's fluffy with a bit of humor. Thank you for requesting!

“Awesome first date, huh?” You smiled weakly as you rolled your head towards the relative stranger sitting next to the hospital bed you were laying in. His brown eyes were sparkling under the fluorescents as he sat back in his chair, legs spread wide with his hands resting on his stomach. “You don’t have to stay. Seriously. You can go. It’s okay.” 

“Absolutely not.” He chuckled as he shook his head slowly. “I’m not leaving you here to get home by yourself, love. I’m not that kind of guy.” 

“Joe, it’s nearly midnight.” You rolled your eyes at his insistence to stay at your bedside but he just continued to shake his head. “Fine! You can stay.” 

“I was going to regardless.” He shrugged as his lips spread into that smile that made your knees weak and your head feel dizzy. “How’s your pain?” 

“Down to a five I think.” You flashed him your own smile as you held up your swollen wrist and looked at him through your splayed fingers. “You think it’s broken?” 

“If you can move it, I don’t think so.” He mused as he sat up and leaned towards you, taking your bruising arm into his big, warm hands. “You’re gonna have a wicked bruise though.” 

“Will it be wizard?” You giggled and his eyebrows shot up as the corners of his lips tipped down into a fake frown. “Sorry, sorry. I had to.” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He rolled his eyes but let his fingers brush up and down your arm as he scooted to the end of his chair. “It will be wizard though. The most metal.” 

“Ever?” You squealed quietly as your whole face lit up with your smile and he scrunched up his nose as he nodded. 

“Ever.” 

“Alright. Scans are back.” The doctor came in with a piece of paper in hands and you both looked towards him as he broke through your moment. Joe’s hands didn't leave your arm and you weren’t pulling away either. “There’s a tiny fracture at the base of your Ulna but it should heal on its own. I’m sending you home with some pain meds and some anti-inflammatories for the swelling. Try not to move it too much in the next few days, a week or so. Keep it elevated and ice it when needed. And you’ll need to set up an appointment with your primary care doctor in about two weeks just to check on things. Any questions for me?” 

“No, sir.” You shook your head as he handed you a piece of paper and you took it with your good hand. “Thank you.” 

“No problem.” His smile was professional as he typed a few things into his iPad and then looked up at you with amusement in his eyes. “Watch out for those curbs, okay? Don’t wanna see you back in here.” 

“You got it.” You giggled as he turned on his heels and left the room without another word. You sighed with relief as you rolled your head back towards Joe and his quirked left eyebrow. “What?” 

“I’m literally sitting right here and he was flirting with you!” There was laughter in his voice but his eyes narrowed as he looked towards the door. “Asshole.” 

“Joe!” You giggled as you swatted at him with the paper in your head and he turned back to you with fake offense written all over his face. “You’re the one who told him we were just friends.” 

“Well I can’t really call you more now can I? We haven't even finished our first date yet.” 

“Sorry.” You mumbled as you dropped your eyes to your lap and pulled your hand away from him to join the other on your thighs. “I really fucked this up, didnt I?” 

“Not at all.” He reassured as he laid both of his hands over yours and gave a light squeeze. “I’m having a lovely time. Best first date ever.” 

“You’re so full of it.” You rolled your eyes just as a petite blonde nurse bustled into the room rambling about your discharge paperwork and aftercare instructions as she unhooked you from all the machines. She was talking at you while her eyes kept flickering to Joe and you felt that uneasy feeling squeeze your heart as you watched her flirt. You couldn't blame her. You’d been doing the same thing all night long. But he was there with you and she could really learn to be more professional. 

An hour later after a stop off at the pharmacy you were leaning against the stone wall of your building as Joe fumbled with your keys in the lock. The pain meds they’d given you at the hospital had fully kicked in and you were a stumbling, drunk mess. 

“Joey! You gotta turn it over.” You giggled as you reached for his hand but it fell short and you giggled harder. “Flat on the bottom.” 

“I tried that, honey.” His eyes were focused on what his hands were doing and the tip of his pink tongue was poked out between his plump lips. “You’re sure this is the key?” 

“Yes!” You nodded as you drug out the s a little too long. “Gold square.” 

“You said triangle!” He shot you a betrayed look as he held up the key in his hand and you giggled again. 

“I did not, silly boy!” You shook your head wildly as you grabbed your key ring from him and shuffled through the metal until you found what you were looking for. You held it up in front of his face triumphantly as he narrowed his eyes at you, “Square. Flat side down.” 

He snatched the key from you and pushed it into the lock, another giggle escaping you as the deadbolt slid open and he rolled his eyes as he pushed the door open. You gave him a beaming smile as you sauntered into the foyer of your house and kicked off your shoes. He flicked on the light by the door and you hummed quietly as you reached for the hem of your shirt and pulled it up over your head, throwing it somewhere behind you. 

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300 notes - Posted October 10, 2022

#4

Everything To Me

Warnings: 18+ ONLY. Female reader. Rockstar!Eddie. Daddy Kink. Multiple orgasms mentioned. PIV unprotected (wrap it before you tap it kids). Fluff (cause it's me).

A/N: This is SUPER short and I don't know where it came from but it's the first thing I have finished in WEEKS and I needed to post it. Hope you enjoy! Comments and reblogs are much appreciated! As a reminder REQUESTS ARE OPEN (see pinned post for rules)

Your chest is heaving, fat tears are rolling down your cheeks, your face is burning hot and bright red as you look up into the big, brown bambi eyes of your lover. 

“Oh, baby, that was a big one, huh?” Eddie coos as he reaches up and moves the damp hair away from your sweat slicked forehead. All you can manage is a nod as your eyes close in a blink that seems to be in slow motion. “Think you can give Daddy another? You’re doing so good for me, sweetheart.” 

You’re so fucked out and cock drunk you’d give him just about anything he asked for so nod again. He pulls back slowly, making you whine at the loss of his hips pressed against yours. He chuckles under his breath as he pushes back in just as slow. You can feel every inch, every vein, every ridge as he sinks back into the hilt. 

“Feel good, baby?” His question is pointless. He can see the blissed out look all over your face as he pulls out and pushes back in same as before. He’s been fucking into you for over an hour, you’ve had five orgasms and were craving more even though your whole body ached. “Talk to me. I wanna hear you.” 

“Eddie. Please.” It’s barely above a whisper as it leaves your lips. “Please.” 

“I got you, sweet girl.” He leans down and presses a soft, warm kiss to your lips as his hips roll again and your breath catches. “Don’t worry. Daddy’s got you.” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you more.” He counters with another roll and you can feel the coil already tightening in your belly again. “I'm gonna cum this time but I need to move faster, you okay?” 

“M’okay.” You sigh as you lazily draw your fingers up and down his bicep that's resting against your ribs. “Fuck me. Please.”

“You’re so sweet with your manners.” He praises with another kiss before he pulls back and rams into you hard, your scream vibrates through the room. “There she is. There’s my good girl.” 

His pace picks up, he’s relentless with his thrusts, hitting you just where you need him and your screaming and crying and writhing underneath him as your sixth orgasm explodes through your body. He sits back on his heels and pulls your hips up with him, hands grabbing the fat of your ass as he pounds into you like a wild animal. He is grunting and groaning and throwing out the most filthy phrases as he chases his own release. With a chest tearing growl he stills and your body jerks as his sticky white cum coats your walls. He collapses on top of you with hot, heavy breaths fanning over your throat. 

“I think you should wear that dress more often.” He lets out a breathy laugh as he pulls his up and looks down at you with all the love in the world. 

“I can't just wear my wedding dress around town, silly boy.” You giggle as he kisses you quickly before jumping up off the bed and holding a hand out to you. 

“How about a hot bath in that big jacuzzi tub, Mrs. Munson?” 

“I would love to, Mr. Munson.” You take his hand and let him lead you into the en suite of your honeymoon suite, sickly sweet, blissed out grins on both your faces. "Hey!" You pull his hand just as he reaches the threshold of the bathroom and he turns to you with questioning eyes. “Thank you for today and for everything. It was perfect.” 

“You are perfect.” He beams his brightest smile as he pulls you into his chest and wraps his arms around your waist. “Thank you for allowing me to become your husband. It is the single greatest accomplishment of my life.” 

“Yeah, says three time Grammy winner, Eddie Munson.” you roll your eyes and his grip around your waist becomes tighter. 

“I mean it. None of this would mean shit without you. You are everything to me.” 

“And you are everything to me.” You push up on your tiptoes and press a quick kiss to his lips before you push him off of you with a smirk. “How about a round seven?” 

“I thought you’d never ask.” 

Needless to say Eddie beat his record that night… pulling twelve orgasms out of you before you finally passed out from the pleasure. He wrapped you in his arms and pressed sweet kisses to your temple before sleep finally started to creep in on him, his eyes never leaving your intertwined hands where your brand new rings sat nestled next to each other. 

Yeah, fuck the Grammy’s. This was so much better.

464 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

#3

Stay With Me

Summary: Late night talk leads to big life changes.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY. Female reader. Oral (f and m receiving), throat/face fucking, hurt/comfort, fluff.

"Stop it." Eddie croaked as he pulled your finger out of his nose, his sleepy eyes narrowed into slits and his forehead creased. "What on earth are you doing?"

"I can't sleep." You whispered with a sigh as your mouth tipped into a small, sad smile. The dim glow of the TV wasn't bright enough for him to see it fully but he knew it was there, he could hear it in your voice.

"So you decided to wake me up by putting your finger in my nose?" He chuckled as he laid your balled up fist against his chest and rolled his head towards you a little more. "What's on your mind, baby?"

"I'm leaving tomorrow." You murmured as you laid your hand flat against his warm, pale skin causing the muscles to twitch under your cold fingers. "And I don't want to." 

"But you have to." He shifted in bed, pulling up his right arm and inviting you to cuddle into his side. Your head laid on his shoulder and your leg hooked around his thigh as he pulled you in closer. "You start your new job in three weeks and you haven't even moved into your apartment yet." 

"That's why I don't want to go." Your voice was barely above a whisper but it still cracked. Tears stung your eyes as you burrowed further into his side; further into your comfort zone, further into the only place you truly wanted to be. "I'm scared, Teddy. I'm so scared." 

“Oh, baby girl." He cooed as he squeezed your shoulders and rubbed the arm that was resting against his chest. He knew this was coming and he'd been waiting for it for months. You'd been playing it off, telling everyone how you couldn't wait to move to Dallas and start your new job but he knew better. He knew you had been lying. "Talk to me. Tell me what's going on in the beautiful head of yours, hmm?" 

"I'm terrified of leaving home, of leaving my family and my friends. I've lived in this same small town with the same people and the same places since the day I was born. Everyone here knows me and I know them. And now I'm just supposed to go off to some big city full of people and places I don't know?"  Tears started rolling down your cheeks and onto his shoulder as you shook your head. "What if I don't fit in there? What if no one likes me? What if I fail?" 

"You are not going to fail." He shook his head as he shifted back a little so he could see your face. "I know you're scared but you have nothing to worry about. You just go show them the amazing girl I know and I promise they'll love you. Just like I do. And always remember that I'm right here. I've got your back, baby. Always." 

"I know." You smiled as you used your toes to push up on the mattress and placed a soft kiss on his lips. "Thank you."

"Of course." His hand ran up your arm and down your back to the swell of your ass where he squeezed and pulled you over to lay on his chest. You pressed your lips back to his as your hands wrapped around his neck and dove into his long, dark hair. The hand on your ass slid under the fabric of his T-shirt that you were wearing to play along the waistband of your shorts as your teeth nipped at his bottom lip. His hand flattened against the small of your back and he shifted, rolling you both over so he was on top as your legs parted and he settled in between your thighs. 

Warm, wet kisses moved from your lips across your jaw and down the left side of your neck where he stopped at your collar bone and began to nip at your soft skin. A soft sigh escaped you as his calloused fingers skirted up your sides and rested just below your breasts setting your skin on fire. He switched sides and bit down hard at the juncture of your neck and right shoulder just as his thumbs started to circle your nipples.

You had never been comfortable with your body and you always hated having sex with your past boyfriends. You had rules, very strict rules, and they never faltered. The lights had to be off, you had to be under the blankets, your shirt and bra had to stay on, and they couldn't touch your stomach or your thighs or your breasts. Sex was always more anxiety inducing than enjoyable for you and you always wanted it to be over with quickly. Until you met Eddie. He had broken down almost all of your walls and was slowly breaking down the rest of them. Something in the way he looked at you, like you were the only girl in the world, had changed the way you looked at yourself. You still weren't happy with your body, not completely, but you loved having sex with him. And it was more than just enjoyable now. 

As he pulled away from your neck with his fingers hooked into the waistband of your shorts you stole a glance at the big brown eyes you had fallen for. They were dark now, filled with that lustful look you craved, as he licked his lips and threw your bottoms to the floor. Your shirt followed quickly behind as he shifted down the bed and grabbed your thighs, pulling and spreading you open as he laid flat on his stomach.   

"Jesus Christ." You groaned as he pulled his long, thick tongue up your heated core and sucked your clit into his mouth. His arm came up and locked over your hips, holding you down, as his tongue lapped at you. A whimper left your lips as both of your hands wrapped around his arm and your nails dug into his skin. The feel of his tongue moving inside you and the fact that he had you pinned to the bed was all too much. As good as it felt and as much as you wanted it to last you were losing your fight to hold back any longer. Your hips bucked off the bed as he shifted and slowly slid a single finger between your velvet folds, pumping slowly and hitting just the right spot. 

As a second finger was added your body convulsed and started writhing beneath his arm as best it could. Soft moans and quiet pleas were leaving your lips as your nails dug in further and broke through the skin of his arm. The sounds you were making and the way your body was responding to him fueled him to move faster. He sucked your clit harder as he added another finger and your breath caught. He hummed around you as your hips bucked again and a soft scream escaped. He could feel your walls begin to clench around him and he knew you were close. Replacing his mouth with his thumb on your clit he circled fast as he kissed his way up your stomach to your neck and back to your lips. Caught in a searing kiss where the taste of his tongue mixed with you on your lips he continued to pump his fingers hard and fast. He laced the fingers of his free hand with yours just as your stomach tightened and your orgasm milked his fingers. Biting into his bottom lip a scream left your throat and your hand squeezed his as your body exploded. Waves of pleasure coursed through you as he slowly stopped his movements and gently slid his fingers from your warmth. He placed light, fluttering kisses all around your lips as you fought to catch your breath and your eyes blinked open. 

"I. Hate. You. So. Much." You breathed out as you locked in on his sparkling eyes and bright smile. "You've completely ruined me for other men." 

"I know." He smirked. He kissed the tip of your nose while he hovered over you, both hands flat on the bed over your shoulders, arms fully extended, his hips rocking back and forth slowly. You could feel his hard cock caressing your bare skin and it made your heart beat faster with anticipation. "I'm the last man you'll ever be with so it doesn't bother me in the slightest." 

"You're absolutely right." You nodded, your face serious, as you moved your hands up to wrap around his tattooed forearms. "The rest of my sexual relationships will have to be with women because you've completely ruined me." 

"Well lesbians are pretty good at eating p..." 

"Don't you dare!" You yelled as your hand came up and slapped over his mouth to keep him from continuing that sentence. "Do not say that word to me. I will kick you in the dick and you're in the perfect position to make it easy for me." You pulled your knee up to brush over the bulge in his briefs and his eyebrows shot up. "See? Don't tempt me." 

"Oh baby," He smiled as he removed your hand from over his mouth, "kicking me in the dick would hurt you more than it would hurt me. You need my cock more than I do." 

"Does that mean you're going to give it to me or are you just going to continue being mean to me?" You pouted as you looked up at him from under your lashes. "Because I'm leaving tomorrow and I won't see you for six months. That means you won't be having sex for six months. Six months, Teddy!" 

"I've lost my hard on with all your talking..." He laughed as he dropped all of his weight on you and kissed your lips with a hard smack. "See what you've done?"

"Oh baby," you smirked as your hand ran down the side of his face, "I can fix that." 

"Can you now?" He raised his eyebrows and you nodded your head. "Well are you going to or are you just going to continue being mean to me?" 

"Oh bite me, Munson!" You sneered as you shoved his head to the side and rolled your eyes.  His lips connected with your shoulder making you think he was going to kiss you when all the sudden the sharp edge of his teeth sank into your skin. "EDWARD!" You yelled as you hit the back of his head. "Did you seriously just bite me?" 

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711 notes - Posted October 15, 2022

#2

Wanna Sit On My Face?

Summary: After a rough day at work Eddie offers you a seat you cant refuse.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY. Female reader. Face sitting. Slight angst if you squint. Sweet, silly Eddie. Fluff. Smut.

A/N: I don't know what this is honestly... Idea popped up in my mind out of nowhere and I just had to write it. Sorry if it's shit.

Eddie was just stepping out of the shower when he heard the front door of the trailer swing open on its creaky hinges and then slam shut as best it could being just a thin piece of metal. He cocked his head to the side as he stepped up to the bathroom door and heard your loud huffing followed by the sounds of your shoes being kicked into the wall and your keys being thrown onto the counter. 

“Baby?” He called softly as he pulled the door open and stepped out into the hallway with a towel wrapped low around his waist. He took a few steps towards the kitchen before your menacing glare came into view and he stopped dead in his tracks. “Bad day, buttercup?” 

“The absolute fucking worst!” You spit as you threw back the whiskey you had just poured yourself and slammed the glass down on the cabinets by the oven. “I am literally so fucking over Carver’s shit it’s not even funny at this point.” 

“You wanna come sit on my face and talk about it?” He smiled in earnest as he grabbed your hand and started leading you back towards the bedroom. 

“Don’t you mean your lap?” You giggled as he ripped the towel off his hips and threw it into the bathroom on his way past it. 

“What?” He turns to you with furrowed brows and confusion swirling in his bright brown eyes. 

“You asked if I wanted to come sit on your face and talk…” You giggled again as he cocked his head to the side. “Don’t you mean your lap?” 

“OH! Yeah, no.” He shook his head, wet curls flying around his shoulders and sending a few wayward droplets your way. “I meant my face. You talk, I feast. Win, win.” 

“I don't know how much talking you expect me to do with your face between my thighs but sure! Why not?” You shrugged as he turned again and stepped over the threshold into the bedroom. “How was your day?” 

“My day was just fine.” He was beaming at you as he flopped down into the middle of the mattress and settled himself flat on his back while placing a worn down pillow under his head. “Pants off.” 

“Listen, Munson, don’t get bossy.” You throw him your best starn scowl and he rolls his eyes as he turns his head to look at you. “Say please at least.” 

“Baby, will you please take your pants off for me?” His voice was full of dramatics as he brought both of his hands up and laced his naked fingers together in a pleading motion. “Please?” 

“Yes, I will. Thank you for asking so nicely.” You nodded as your hands started moving swiftly over the button fly of your jeans. He watched you with hungry eyes as you pulled the denim over your hips and pushed it down your thick thighs until they fell into a puddle at your feet. You kicked the jeans off as you made your way over to the edge of the bed, crawling up slowly to sit next to his side. “I missed you today.” You frowned as you ran the back of your knuckles down his cheek before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “I mean I miss you everyday but I missed you more today.” 

“Then take off those pretty panties and climb aboard.” He smirked as he leaned up and pressed another kiss to your lips as he slapped your bare thigh in an attempt to get you moving. “You can tell me all about it, yeah?” 

“Again… I don’t know how you’re expecting me to talk with your tongue in my pussy but whatever you say, bubs.” You shook your head as you hooked your thumbs into the waistband of your lace panties and pulled them down as you set up on your knees to remove them from your legs. 

“I’ll take those.” He giggled as he plucked the fabric out of your hands and shoved it under his leg as he grabbed your hand to help you throw your leg over his chest. “I’ll be adding them to my collection.” 

“Eddie!” You whined as you shuffled up his body until your bare cunt was right over his face. “I cannot afford to keep buying new panties! You can't keep taking them.”

“Shut up and sit down.” He demanded as his long, thick fingers wrapped around the outside of your plush thighs and yanked you down onto his face. “Start talking.” 

“Jesus… FUCK!” You screamed as his plump lips wrapped around your clit and he sucked hard, tapping your thigh to let you know he wasn't kidding and you better start recounting the events of your day. “Okay… um… shit… fuck! Eddie!” 

“Those are not the words I want to hear, pretty girl.” He was panting as he pulled away from you and you looked down your body to see his eyes narrow as he gripped your thighs tighter. “Tell me what happened today.” 

“Carver came into the store and oh! Oh God!” You mewled as he licked a flat striped from your entrance to your clit, circling it a few times with the tip of his tongue before sliding back down and thrusting it into you. “He was uh… giving me shit about us again. Saying that I belonged with a guy like him instead of a freak like you. Pissed me off.” 

“Mmhmm.” He hummed against you and the vibration sent a shockwave through your body as your hips started to roll on top of him. His nose was hitting your clit as his tongue danced inside of your warm, wet walls and it was just a little too much. 

“Told him… told him…. H-he couldn't…. Christ! Right there, Teddy.” One hand tangled in his curls as the other flew out to brace against the wall in front you as your body hunched over, pushing Eddie’s tongue deeper inside of you. “Fucking hell!” 

“Feel good, baby?” You could practically feel him smirking as two of his thick fingers slipped into you and curled perfectly to hit your sweet spot. “Tell me what you told that asshole. Come on. Be a good girl.” 

“He could never fuck me like you!” You cried out as the coil in your belly tightened and your walls clenched around him. “God Eddie! Please… please suck my clit. Please.” 

“I got you, I got you.” He chuckled as his lips wrapped around your sensitive bud and with a few harsh sucks the coil exploded and a rush of slick coated his fingers, ran down his wrist and absolutely drenched his face. You were still rocking against him as he helped you through your orgasm, fingers finally stilling as your whole body relaxed. 

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1,229 notes - Posted October 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Talk To Me, Teddy

Summary: Eddie had a rough day at the garage and he needs some love from his girl.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY. Female reader. Mechanic!Eddie mentioned, daddy kink, spit kink, cock warming, rough sex, pregnancy mentioned, smut, fluff, comfort. slight angst.

It happened the first time by accident but it became a thing you two did when the world got to be just a little too much to handle. 

Deep in the throes of passion you were looking up at Eddie’s big brown Bambi eyes staring down at you with all the love and adoration in the world and the dam broke. Hot, fat tears started rolling down your cheeks. Weeks of pent up emotions spilling out as his hips stilled and he buried himself balls deep inside your warm, wet walls. The two of you stayed that way for an hour as you vented, ranted and raved about everything that had been weighing heavy on you. He listened intently and soothed your soul as your bodies connected in the most intimate way possible. When the weight lifted and the tears stopped he rocked into you with slow, deep thrusts that seemed to breathe new life back into you. It was the most intense orgasm you had ever felt. Eddie too. Cumming so hard you both felt the aftershocks for at least 10 minutes as you laid side by side on his stained mattress with your sweaty chests heaving. 

So tonight when he came through the door, sweaty and covered in grease, hair wild and eyes frantic you knew what he wanted. What he needed. He stalked over to the couch where you had been curled up watching a movie and unceremoniously flopped down on top of you with a loud hmpf. 

“Wanna talk about it, Eddie Bear?” You whispered as you pulled his hair loose from the confines of the low ponytail at the nape of his neck and raked your nails against his scalp. 

“Need inside, pretty girl.” He mumbled against you where his lips were pressed tight to your neck just under your ear. His breath fanning out over your skin causing goosebumps to erupt down your arms. “Please?” 

“Of course, baby. Come on.” You cooed as you tapped his hips and shuffled under him to slip off the couch. “Let’s go to bed.” 

He was up and off of you before you could blink. Grabbing your hand to pull you up with him as he drug you through the small living room of your shared apartment and down the hall to your room. Clothes were stripped and thrown into the dark abyss. Blankets were pushed back as you crawled into the middle of the bed and spread your legs wide. He slotted himself between your thighs, ringed hand circling your clit as his lips crashed into yours. He wasn't after sex. Not yet. He just needed to warm you up so he could slide in without resistance. He knew a few deep kisses and a couple of touches would have you there in no time and he was right. Sliding in slowly, inch by inch until his hips were flush with yours. A deep, relieved sigh left his lips as he wrapped his arms under your shoulders and held you close as he hovered over you, propped up on his elbows. Every inch of your skin was pressed against his, your nails scratching lightly as your hands traveled up and down the back of his biceps. 

“Better?” You smiled up at him as he closed his eyes and let the feeling of you being wrapped around him wash over him. He hummed, deep and low from his chest as he pressed his forehead to yours and nodded slowly. “Good. Talk to me, Teddy. What happened?” 

And talk he did. He told you all about the new guy at work, the asshole who kept fucking shit up over and over and over again. How he had to keep going behind him to fix his fuck ups without even a single thank you. His boss was oblivious, hiding back in his office and ignoring the talk from the other mechanics in the breakroom. Everyone was pissed. They all hated the guy. His attitude, his ego, the way he talked about the women who came into the garage. It was bordering on a full blown rage deep in Eddie's veins and you could feel the way his whole body tensed as he talked. You squeezed your walls around him, grounding him, reminding him of where he was and the tension slowly faded. His words grew less harsh, his tone evened out and his eyes settled back into their warm honey hue from the black orbs they started with. 

“I am so sorry you’ve been dealing with all of that.” You gave him a soft smile as your hands stilled on the backs of his shoulders. “Have you guys thought about talking to Dean? I mean, I know you said he’s heard conversations but maybe if you all sit him down and tell him what’s going on he’ll do something about it.” 

“We have a meeting in the morning.” He nodded as his hips shifted and he started to pull out just as slowly as he had pushed in. “No more talking, pretty girl. Let me have you.” 

“Take what you nee…” You were cut off as he snapped forward and hit you deep inside. “Oh my God!” 

“That’s it, angel.” He smirked as pulled back and did it again. Harder this time. “Tell Daddy how good it feels.” 

“Eddie…” His name fell from your lips as a loud, breathy moan as he pushed up to kneel between your thighs. His hands found your hips, lifting your ass up off the mattress as he set a brutal pace that had you falling apart under him in a matter of seconds. It wasn't the sweet, slow love making you were used to after these talks but it’s what he needed and you were happy to give it to him. Every ounce of frustration he felt was released as he fucked into you, filthy words babbling from his plumps lips as sweat covered your bodies. 

“You. Okay?” He grunted out and your stomach flipped as he angled his hips up and brushed your sweet spot. Even as he absolutely wrecked your insides he was still your sweet, sweet boy checking in to make sure you were good, that he wasn't being too rough. All you could do was nod as your hands gripped the sheets at your sides, trying to hold on to something as the coil in your belly started to tighten. “Words. Need. Words. 

“I… I’m… FUCK! Eddie! Fuck!” You cried as his hand left your hip and started rubbing fast, hard circles against your swollen clit. “Don’t stop. I’m… I’m… I’m…” 

“Yeah?” There was a condescending lilt to his voice as he cocked his head to the side and started slamming into you with sloppy thrusts. “You cumming, gorgeous? Gonna cum on Daddy’s fat cock?” 

“Yes. Yes. Yes.” You screamed, head thrashing back and forth against the pillows as the coil snapped and your whole body seized up. Every muscle in your body clenched, pulling you up off the bed as your back arched and your toes curled into the sheets. 

“Atta girl.” Eddie cooed as he shoved you down to the bed and fell with you, the entire weight of his body holding you down as he grabbed your shoulders and held you still. “Open your mouth.”

You did as he commanded, tongue laying flat against your chin as he reared back and spit right down your throat. Your whole body was on fire as he fucked up into you. Once, twice, three times before he was cumming with hot, heavy breaths against your chest. He stilled, grip loosening as he laid his head on your chest and pulled out slowly. 

“What in the actual fuck was that?” You laughed breathlessly once your breathing evened out and he lifted his head up with a shit eating grin spread across his face. 

“Too much?” 

“Nah, man.” You laughed as you lazily pushed his head to the side, a grin matching his spreading across your own lips. “I think y’all need to keep this Billy dude around if he’s gonna make you fuck me like that.” 

“Oooooo.” He grimaced as he shook his head slowly. “Low blow, baby. Don’t do me like that.” 

“Sorry, Daddy.” You giggled as your hand came up to run your knuckles down the side of his face. “But Imma need you to do me like that more often.” 

“My girl okay in here?” His eyebrows disappeared behind the sweaty curls stuck to his forehead as his hand came up to rest over the tiny bump of your belly. “I wasn’t thinking, sweetheart. Fuck. I didn't hurt her did I?” 

“No, you didn’t.” You smiled warmly as his calloused, grease covered finger tips tickled over your skin. “She’s actually fluttering around in there, believe it or not.” 

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4,936 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[magnoliabloomfield]

Possession Finale

After a blissful but not nearly long enough nap, Gally was awakened by a knocking on the med hut door. He came to enough to realize how comfortable he was before it was rudely taken away from him. He’d had a hold of Nikola’s waist and his head was resting under her chin before she slipped out from under him. He was left behind in the cot that felt more uncomfortable than ever before as she crossed the room and opened the door.

“Hey, how is he?” Jeff asked as he came in.

“As good as he can be after what they put him through. I got him all patched up and let him rest a bit. I think he’ll be ok,” her voice drifted to Gally. He started to pull the memory of kissing her up through the fog in his head and couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the cracked corner of his mouth. He was way more than ok.

“Thanks for helping me,” she added. “It was nice to have privacy.”

Interesting, Gally thought. He helped her? Did he… know?

“Thank yourself for that,” Jeff chuckled. “It’s only because you took all those anti-peeping precautions in case you ever became a patient.”

“Still, you guys got Shawn out of here to make this all possible. What’s been going on out there?”

“Mostly taking care of Shawn, you really did a number on him. I think all the boys will keep out of your biting range from now on. Well, all except one, I’m assuming,” Jeff was saying and Gally imagined he meant him.

Nikola giggled and it was the sweetest thing in the whole shucking glade.

“I take it went well then?” Jeff asked and Gally wished he had fallen back asleep for real, it was wild enough what had just happened between him and Nikola, it was crazy awkward to hear another person discuss it.

“Very well,” Nikola answered and Gally blushed despite himself. “I’m really glad we had this opportunity, I don’t know what’s going to happen going forward.”

Gally almost frowned at that. What did she mean? He wasn’t going to be changing his mind about his feelings, and he definitely didn’t want to give up kissing her now that he’d had a taste. Damn, that reminded him of the shuck Shawn was saying.

“Well, I really hope it works out in your favor,” Jeff said and sounded pretty darn sincere. “Alby really wants to hear what happened from you and Gally. Is he up for it, do you think?”

“I’ll try and wake him up, if he needs more rest then I’ll come out and talk to Alby first,” she told him.

“Alright, I’ll let him know,” Jeff said and there was the sound of the door and lock again.

“Did you get all that?” Nikola asked as she gently sat down on the edge of the cot and delicately ran her hand over his hair. He was so bruised and battered she was afraid a normal touch could cause him pain. Her fingers lightly brushed over any bit of unbruised skin she could find.

“M-hm,” Gally hummed as he cracked his eyes open and saw her hovering over him like an angel. “Just what exactly did you do to Shawn?”

She laughed before a protective edge took over her. “He got what he deserved for messing with my best friend, that lousy shank.”

Gally chuckled at her use of glader slang. “A few months ago, if someone asked if I’d ever kiss my best friend the answer would have been a hard no.”

“Don’t tell Newt that, he’ll be devastated,” She said without missing a beat and Gally chuckled hard enough to hurt himself on that one. “I wish we could stay in here forever,” he said when the laughter and then the pain subsided.

“I know,” she sighed. “Me too. So… one more before we go back out there?”

“At least two,” he corrected, making a bashful grin spread on her face as she carefully laid next to him, careful not to bump or jostle him in his sore state.

Her fingers ran through his hair, giving an electric thrill down his spine as her nails grazed his scalp. He’d never felt a caring or gentle touch before, and definitely not anything sensual, so everything she did was a new sensation to him. She leaned down to him and he knew what was coming first, her nose brushing against his and he grinned wide when she did even though it hurt.

“You like that, huh?” he asked.

“What?” she asked, not knowing what he was referring to.

“The little nose nuzzle,” he clarified, tilting his head to graze hers with his.

“It’s because you have such a cute nose,” she smiled and nuzzled back, watching his face go pink. “You’re really cute, if you didn’t already know that.”

“Is ‘cute’ a good thing?” he lightly squinted at her, remembering how she called the dog and the baby animals cute.

“Uh, it’s a very good thing,” she said like he was completely clueless. “Cute means that I not only find you wildly attractive, but I also enjoy spending time with you, so I’d make out with you but also I’d talk about anything with you and do anything for you that a best friend would do, and then make out some more.”

“Is that what it means?” he chuckled, seeing her nod and bite her lip as she grinned too. “Well, that sounds pretty shucking good.”

He reached up with his bandaged hand and slipped it behind her neck, gently guiding her lips to his once again. It felt like they were expressing all the emotions they’d have to suppress once they walked out that door, like they were reassuring the other of their feelings even if they had to deny something when they got out there.

They knew they couldn’t linger too long with Alby waiting on them, so very begrudgingly they got up and left the privacy of the medhut. The world of the glade was fairly small, but after his time alone with Nikola it came crashing on him with a violent rush. The sheer number of boys and their noise was almost too much for him even though he’d been living with it for three years.

They walked together but at a proper distance even though they’d much rather have been holding hands. They already felt a separation depression. Finally they got to the gathering hall and found Newt and Alby there, leaning tiredly in their seats.

“Hey,” Alby greeted, surprisingly calm. “How are you guys doing?”

“Fine,” Gally shrugged, not used to being asked that.

“Really? ‘Cause you look terrible,” Alby lightly teased him as Gally took a seat. “And you Nikola? He didn’t hurt you too bad?”

“No, it’s not that bad,” she said even as she wrapped her hand around her pony tail and ran it down the length of it.

“I bet Shawn wishes he could say the same,” Alby’s joke fell flat.

“I won’t apologize for that,” She said firmly, and Gally had to fight to control the expression on his face and not look over at her like she was a goddess.

“Don’t worry, that’s not what I’m asking you to do,” Alby assured her. “I want to hear what happened from you two. Nikola why don’t you go first, I’m just way too curious.”

“I heard some noises and I found Shawn and two other boys ganging up on Gally and beating him, so I yelled at them to stop before I tried to scream and run for help. Shawn caught me, and he was covering my mouth. He grabbed my hair so I couldn’t get away,” she said and again she touched her hair. “So when I managed to get one of his fingers between my teeth I just bit down as hard as I could. He’d either have to let my hair go, or he wouldn’t have a free hand to do anything else so long as I could clamp down hard enough. Plus it made him scream which brought everyone running.”

“So, you bit him because you were afraid of him hurting you?” Alby asked.

“He certainly could have, but I did it to help Gally,” she answered. “I thought they were going to kill him.”

“Uh-huh,” Alby nodded, tongue in cheek as he let that information settle in. “And what about you, Gally?”

The builder sighed heavily. “I was collecting wood in the dead heads when the three of them showed up,” he started reciting. “Shawn started talking a lot of crap about me trying to rile me up, he wanted me to hit him.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because after he hit me, Johnny said ‘I thought he was just supposed to hit you?’ and Shawn said ‘Screw that.’”

“So, you knew he wanted you to hit him, and you did it?” Alby questioned, looking skeptical.

Gally let out another breath and fidgeted a little. “I held back for a long time,” he said, looking down as he picked at his thumb. “But then he started saying some stuff I couldn’t let slide. I gave him a warning, I just grabbed his collar and gave him a little push away from me since he was in my face. He didn’t take the hint so then he had to take the hit.”

“What did he say exactly?” Alby asked, Newt’s eyes darted to Nikola and back.

“It made me believe he would do something to hurt Nikola,” Gally answered.

“What did he say?”

“I’m not gonna say it in front of her,” Gally said resolutely as he held Alby’s authoritative gaze.

Alby gave a pause as he considered Gally. “That bad, huh?”

Gally just nodded and felt Nikola shift uncomfortably in her own seat.

“Something bad enough to get you to throw a punch you knew he wanted when you were outnumbered three to one,” Newt observed.

Nikola gave him a sideways glance, wondering now more than ever what it could have been, still feeling guilty that it had something to do with her at all. But she was also thinking about how Gally was such a good guy. Maybe a little dim for getting into fights when he was outnumbered and secluded, but his intentions seemed good.

“I can’t imagine doing that for someone that wasn’t special to me,” Alby said and he seemed to be digging at something.

“Oh come on,” Nikola scoffed, trying to throw him off. “I’m the one and only frail little girl here, so either they want to protect me or they’re what I need protected from.”

“And those scales could quickly tip out of your favor if you’re not careful,” Alby was trying to speak in some kind of passive yet meaningful coded language and Nikola was sick of it.

“You mean your rule about me not belonging to anyone?” She looked at him cold, hard, and flat. “Glad to know I’m not just another inanimate object that came up in the box, but I’m not a big fan of that rule all the same. I don’t want to harm anyone, I would never intentionally hurt someone, but that includes myself. I’m not going to put myself through pain just to cater to someone else’s warped idea of possession. If I want to be close to someone I should be able to, it doesn’t harm anyone, they have to be responsible for how they think and feel about things that don’t actually affect them.”

“In a perfect world that would work,” Alby said and she felt a big ‘but’ coming. “But this is not a perfect world-“

“So what!” Nikola burst. “Are you planning on staying here forever? When we get out of here there’s a whole big world out there that isn’t going to bend and cater to them and they should be learning now to handle that and be a part of that kind of society.”

Alby sighed and ran a hand over his face in frustration. “We’re getting off topic. Nikola, do you want to banish Shawn for what he did?”

“No,” She said easily, causing all three boys to look at her sharply, Gally getting a shooting pain in his neck from it.

“How can you say that?” he asked her.

“I don’t want boys banished because of me,” she shrugged easily. “What, you think they won’t start hating me for being the reason one of their friends is dead? That’s how they will see it. They’ll think I do things on purpose to get someone banished. No, no banishing boys because of me.”

Gally couldn’t believe it, he sat there staring at her dumbfounded.

“Alright then, you can go now,” Alby told her as he shook his head, looking a few years older since they first came in.

She was hesitant to get up and looked between him and Newt and then glanced over at Gally. Apparently they weren’t done with him.

“You’re excused,” Alby reiterated, earning a slight glare from her before she got up and left.

Gally felt the beating was only starting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was dark and the glade was quiet for once. Despite what he’d been through, Gally was awake. Maybe it was thanks to the nap he had taken earlier. He sat on the swing in the midnight air that was just right when nothing else was. He’d spent time in the gathering room with Alby and Newt, hearing it from both of them that he needed to keep his distance from Nikola and not get attached.

As if he could do that. He never told them just how attached he was, he never tried to tell them the rule sucked, nothing. He just sat there. Sat there hating the glade, hating Wicked more than anything, and missing her. He hadn’t seen her the rest of the evening since he’d been in no shape to work and went to his room to rest and get away from everyone else.

“Hey you,” a soft voice came from behind him, startling him slightly from his thoughts, but he calmed down as soon as delicate arms wrapped around his shoulders. “How are you doing?”

He placed a hand on Nikola’s arm and let a heavy breath out through his nose, glad it was her and not anyone else. “That’s a difficult question to answer,” he admitted, feeling her warmth against his back.

“Anything I can do to help?” she asked before kissing his cheek.

“I don’t know, I don’t think so,” he said glumly, leaning his head back against her shoulder.

“Are you sure?” She kissed just below his ear and he nearly fell off the swing.

“Nikola, Alby and Newt reamed me about being too close to you, we’ll only get in more trouble if we’re seen together like this,” he said even though it was the saddest thing in the world to tell her.

“Don’t worry about it,” she whispered in his ear. “Tonight no one will recognize me.”

Gally furrowed his brows at that and turned to see what she meant.

“Holy shuck, your hair,” he kept his exclamation quiet as he saw her pixie like hair cut. “Why did you do that?”

She came around and stood in front of him, her hands resting on his shoulders, her whole body exuding stress. “Because it really freaked me out!” she started explaining. “He had me and I couldn’t get away, I couldn’t get away to get help for you when you needed it, and I hated how that felt. I never want to feel that again.”

Gally reached up and touched her hair and her face.

“Am I ugly now?” she asked when he stayed quiet.

“Never,” he burst immediately and she grinned in the moonlight.

“Would you be terribly upset if someone thought they saw you kissing another boy on a dark night?” she asked as she leaned closer.

“I could live with it,” he admitted as he looked up at her.

She leaned down and just before her lips touched his he pulled back. “But first, can you tell me why you don’t want Shawn banished for what happened?”

She nuzzled his nose with a slightly exasperated sigh. “Because it would set a precedent, you mess with the girl you get banished. And if we��re ever caught like this, I can’t have you getting banished. Literally, they would have to banish me with you.”

“Really?” he asked in surprise.

“You tried to beat up three boys for something one of them said about me,” she pointed out. “So, yes… I love you too.”

He wasn’t prepared for those words. He’d never heard the word ‘love’ directed at anything but ‘I’d love an air conditioner’ and similar phrases. She was willing to live with Shawn so she wouldn’t have to live without him, if that wasn’t love Gally didn’t know what it could be.

He got up from the swing and hugged Nikola, hugged her close and tight and she hugged him too, though she tried to be gentle. He finally pulled back, brushed his nose against hers and then whispered, “I do love you,” before he kissed her and kissed her.

“You must be tired,” she said when they were standing with their foreheads pressed together.

“I’ll stay up all night,” he said, more serious than joking.

“You need rest to get better,” she lightly scolded him before tiptoeing to whisper in his ear. “Come on, let’s go to the med hut. We’ll say something hurt and you couldn’t get to sleep and I was helping you.”

Despite his better judgment, Gally did what he wanted to do. He walked hand in hand with her to the medhut, fumbled through the darkness until the found the cot and picked up where they’d left off. Her chest was his pillow and her fingers brushed through his hair until he fell into a deep, sweet sleep like he’d never gotten before.

~~~~~~

It was chaos in the morning. Despite telling them their pretty accurate and hardly dishonest reason for being in the med hut together all night, Alby was fuming and some other keepers were too.

Gally stood with Nikola as she seemed to square up against them. As much as she wanted to, she didn’t interrupt Alby’s old sermon about the not belonging rule and other complaints going around.

It was Gally that snapped this time.

“She doesn’t belong to me,” He said, loud enough for almost everyone to hear. “She belongs to herself unless she wants to choose otherwise. It’s a stupid rule to tell people who they can and can’t belong to, only they get to decide that. So all I can say is… that I belong to her.”

Nikola looked up at him with surprise. She’d never expected the independent, headstrong and proud Gally to show any kind of submission. But she remembered how he’d said ‘you’re my friend and I’m yours’. He was hers. He was hers.

That effectively shut everyone else up for a long minute. Naturally the first thing they did was call a gathering and that time they walked hand in hand to the hall, Nikola taking adoring peeks up at his grim and determined face.

They had to admit that they were more than friends in no uncertain terms and deal with the keepers reactions to that. But in the end, no one could make a sound argument against what Gally had said. The new rule was that they could be together, but if they could just not rub it in anyone’s face that’d be nice.

He climbed the ladder to her tower that night, a prince coming to his princess.

“Has it lost the thrill now that we don’t have to sneak around and keep it secret?” He asked as she laid on his chest this time.

“Absolutely, I’m so over it now,” she said sarcastically, poking him in the ribs as she giggled. “Of course not, silly.”

Gally had never been called silly before.

“I’m really glad it worked out,” she sighed as she traced a circle on his chest. “But most boy’s aren’t exactly thrilled.”

“I’ll beat them all up,” he said and she giggled again.

“All at once?” she asked skeptically.

“If I have to,” he said. “I’d do anything for you.”

He kissed the top of her head, his fingers threading through her short hair, liking how soft it was.

“Because you’re mine?” she asked, propping herself up to look at him, her gaze happy and hungry.

“Because I’m yours,” he confirmed, nuzzling her nose and feeling the response of her lips on his.

She was also his.

Possession Masterlist

@frequentlychangingfandoms @quackquackbi @poulterjonas @crazysheeplyca @pre-google @gladerscake @neilox @thesuitkovian @carp3d1em @cottoncandy-dreamxd @emilyhadenbaker

The next one I want to start is Gally's love story after he gets taken in by the right arm. We don't go outside the glade enough in TMR fics, we always sending extra girls in lol. I don;t mind, obviously I've done multiple ones just like that. But I thought would be fun to try something different

[supersickies]

Summary: “Surgery was something that Peter Parker was used to. With his job, he really had to be used to going under the knife, and truthfully the more he experienced it the easier it got.

What Peter was not used to, however, were post-surgery infections. Of course, he knew that it was always a risk when going into procedures, but with the overly careful and competent medical staff in the med bay of Stark Tower, it was rarely something he had to worry about.

But nobody was perfect, accidents can happen, and that’s how Peter found himself in his current situation. Feverish, achy in more ways than one, and utterly miserable.”

OR

Peter can't sleep after a surgery gone bad. He needs his Lukey...if Tony can figure out what that is.

A/N: Here we go @sicktember day five! I was pretty excited for this prompt but for some reason had a tough time putting something together for it that I really loved. But hope this fic suffices and if you read it you enjoy it! This was pretty much that last prompt fill I have completely completed for Sicktember but I’m hoping to get some more finished so I may be back with those, we’ll just have to see! Either way, hope you enjoy this fic! You can read it below the cut or on Ao3!

Surgery was something that Peter Parker was used to. With his job, he really had to be used to going under the knife, and truthfully the more he experienced it the easier it got.

What Peter was not used to, however, were post-surgery infections. Of course, he knew that it was always a risk when going into procedures, but with the overly careful and competent medical staff in the med bay of Stark Tower, it was rarely something he had to worry about.

But nobody was perfect, accidents can happen, and that’s how Peter found himself in his current situation. Feverish, achy in more ways than one, and utterly miserable.

His left leg, the cause of all his anguish thanks to an unwelcome bullet wound, was currently being elevated and his body was being pumped with an IV cocktail of anti-nausea, anti-fever, anti-pain, and antibiotic medications. Suffice to say, Peter was not just exhausted but he was loopy as all hell.

And he just couldn’t fucking sleep.

For some reason, despite his delirious and debilitated state, sleep would not come to him. So instead, he laid in his med bay bed with tears streaming down his face, as he begged whatever god there was above to just give him at least a minute of rest. The med bay staff, alongside Bruce and Dr. Cho, had been doing their best to synthesize a sedative for the spider-kid but they had yet to be successful, much to Tony and Peter’s disappointment.

Tony, of course, was by his side the whole time, and seeing his kid in this state was similar to experiencing his own personal hell. But he’d be dammed if he left Peter even for a second.

“Shh, Petey. I know bud. Just take some deep breaths kid.” He soothes the teen, just as he had been doing all night. It was nearing two in the morning and he had no idea just how much more either of them could take. He had tried everything from reading to the kid to making fucking ocean sounds with his mouth. Yet still, no sleep.

Peter doesn’t respond, just continues to moan and wail as Tony sighs. “Gimme something kiddie, please. How can I help you, bambino?”

Peter looks to Tony, his eyes feverish and hazy. He takes a shaky breath before finally finding the energy to murmur, “M-May.”

“May? You want me to get May back down here?” Tony asks. May had been down in the med bay with the two for most of the day, only retiring to a guest room in the tower after Tony had begged her to get some rest before her early hospital shift.  

But even after giving his answer, Peter still didn't seem appeased. “No!” He whines. “I-I need Lukey.” He says with a sob.

Tony’s brows can only furrow. “Lukey?” What/who the fuck was a Lukey?

“Please M’ster S’ark, I need him.” Peter begs.

“Okay! Alrighty kiddo I…I will do my best to get…Lukey.” Tony reassures the boy as he stands from the uncomfortable med bay chair, running a nervous hand through his hair. “Just hang tight kiddo, I’m gonna figure this out.” He grabs his phone, quickly but quietly leaving Peter’s room.

He was gonna get this kid to sleep if it was the last thing he did.

Tony doesn’t understand immediately, but using the context clues he was given, he figures that if anyone knew what a Lukey was it would be May.

He could only hope that she wouldn’t be too pissed at him for waking her up at this hour.

The dial tone only sounds twice before she picks up. “Tony? What’s wrong? What happened?” She asks in a panic, ever the protective aunt.

“May! Everything’s okay! Peter’s…well, he’s um, still awake. I can’t really get him to calm down and-and I think I need your help?”

He can hear May flip on the bedside lamp and sit up. “W-What is it Tony?”

“Peter is asking for someone named Lukey? Something named Lukey? I-I was hoping maybe you know Lukey or-or can get him here at this hour? I just…he still can’t sleep May and I don’t know what else to d-“

He’s cut off by a snort. An honest to god laugh.

“…May?”

“S-Sorry, I um…” She giggles a bit more before continuing. “Yes, I can get Lukey here at this hour. Just…give me thirty.” She sighs, but Tony can’t sense any annoyance in it. She almost sounds like she’s smiling?

“I- okay then? See you in thirty I guess?” And she hangs up.

Tony doesn’t know if it’s the lack of sleep or what, but he feels absolutely crazy. “Still don’t know what the fuck a Lukey is.” He mumbles to himself, before heading back into Peter’s room.

Sure enough, after thirty more minutes of doing his utmost to calm the distraught spiderling, Tony hears May coming down the hall. He lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding with the hopes that May and the elusive Lukey’s arrival will calm the kid enough to send him right to sleep.

May enters the med bay room quietly. And alone? Where was Lukey?

Peter turns his head to the sound of the door shutting, his bleary eyes able to make out his aunt standing next to him. “May.” He rasps, fresh tears spilling over his cheeks. There really wasn’t much that wouldn’t make Peter cry at this point.

“Oh, my poor baby.” She coos, her kind fingers pushing the hair off of his overheated forehead. “You’re having a real hard time, huh tough guy?”

Peter nods miserably. “I-I need Lukey, May.” He whines.

The woman smiles warmly. “I know honey. He’s right here, I got him.” She reaches into the tote bag on her arm and pulls out a small blue blanket with a silky trim. It looked old but ultimately well-loved.

Oh, Tony thinks. Lukey.

Peter takes the blanket eagerly and is quick to hold the fabric lovingly to his chest. His thumb rubs the trim soothingly. Almost like magic, the boy’s crying has basically stopped, replaced with soft hiccups and shaky breaths.

Tony looks up at May, puzzled yet…impressed. He holds his tongue, though, not daring to interrupt the moment or disturb the finally calm spider-kid.

After a few moments of hushed reassurances from May, and of course the comfort of Lukey, Peter is finally asleep. The room is now overwhelmingly quiet, and Tony takes a much-needed deep breath.

He glances at the blanket that is now wrapped tightly around Peter’s shoulders, before looking at May. “So, Lukey?”

“It was a gift from Ben’s mom— Peter’s grandmother. She gave it to him the day he was born. She passed not long after but…she loved him a whole lot, him being her only grandchild and whatnot.” She explains.

Tony’s heart clinches. He knew May was the only family Peter had left, and to hear about other Parkers just made Tony remember how much the kid had lost.

May continues. “He had a connection to the blanket pretty instantly, only ever really stopped crying when he was wrapped in it. It was the only thing that would put him right to sleep.”

They both look at the snoozing boy. “Still is apparently.” Tony jokes quietly.

May hums in confirmation. “We joked that this thing was magic when he was younger, but honestly I’m really starting to believe it.”

Tony nods, reaching up to touch the blanket softly. He had to admit was kinda nice. “And…Lukey?”

“Star Wars. Luke Skywalker.” May explains. “We all called it his blankey until he was old enough for Ben to show him A New Hope. It was Lukey from that point on.”

Tony feels a bit stupid for not realizing sooner, that goofy space movie was all the kid ever talked about.

“I should’ve known he would’ve needed it. Really wish I’d have brought it earlier.” May sighs tiredly.

“Hey you-you’re exhausted too May, please go back to sleep. I said I’d take Peter duty for the night and you have your shift in a few hours.” Tony offers.

May stands from her spot by her nephew. “I guess I should, huh? If you all need anything else though—“

“I’ll let you know immediately, May. Swear it.”

May smiles warmly. “Thank you, Tony.”

“Good night, May.”

She leaves the room, shutting the door softly behind her. Tony lets out a deep breath, giving Peter’s hair one last pet before deciding it was about time he retire to his cot in the corner of the med bay room.

As he drifts off, he thinks of his mother and the stuffed elephant she gave him when he was a young child.

He makes a mental note to look in the tower’s storage units, see if he can find it.

[blitzturtles]

Title: It Goes Like This (It Starts Like This Universe)

Rating: Teen and Up

Fandom: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Vento Aureo

Pairing(s): BruAbba

Summary: Abbacchio isn’t a morning person. Never has been. He prefers the comfort that comes with a blanket of darkness to the bright hours of the early morning. There’s less eyes. Less people. Less performance. Unfortunately, he’s gone and fallen in love with a man that believes that the day begins before the sun has even broken the horizon.

Notes: This is for the first place to my 300 Follower Giveaway! @bucciaratisfishmarket requested BruAbba set in my It Starts Like This verse with some disabled slice of life/morning routine. Ngl, I was super excited to get to do something in this verse, so thank you!

Thank you to everyone that followed and participated, and a special thanks to @bucciaratisfishmarket! I hope you like your fic!

Additional Notes: Also, the pill organizer described in the fic can be found on Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1022344896/boneyard-real-bones-weekly-7-day-pill It's cool and beautiful, and I probably don't do it justice. Definitely go check it out!

-

Abbacchio isn’t a morning person. Never has been. He prefers the comfort that comes with a blanket of darkness to the bright hours of the early morning. There’s less eyes. Less people. Less performance. Unfortunately, he’s gone and fallen in love with a man that believes that the day begins before the sun has even broken the horizon. It’s leftover from Bruno’s days helping his father with the boat, and, later, his days running Polpo’s errands. Chasing people down for money and answers. What comfort Abbacchio can find in the night, Bruno can find just fine in the light hours of the morning.

Fortunately for both of them, Abbacchio is more than capable of running on a schedule, of waking up at the same time everyday and forcing his mind and body into cooperation. He did it for years for school and then the academy. It’s nothing he isn’t used to, and he’s happiest when Bruno is happy, no matter what that entails, which is how he finds himself waking up to Bruno’s second alarm before the man can snooze it again.

The thing about Bruno’s new medication—a pill large in size and equally ridiculous in the length of its name—is that it makes it damn near impossible for him to get going in the morning the way he used to. Before, Bruno practically operated on his own internal clock. Waking up before his alarm had even gone off and fetching them both their first cup of caffeine; it used to be the thing that made greeting the day a bit more tolerable.

Now, Bruno snoozes. Alarm after alarm, until they run out. He’s tried music, absurd volumes, and even relocating the damned clock halfway across the room. None of it helps, so Leone compensates. He wakes up around the second or third alarm, turns the rest off, and kisses Bruno’s cheek before he rolls out of bed.

Sometimes there’s a quiet plea, “five more minutes”, that endears Abbacchio so completely that his mood settles, not nearly as bitchy as he could be upon reaching the kitchen and finding someone else already there.

“Why are you awake?” Okay, so. Still bitchy. But he doesn’t sneer his words quite as bad.

Narancia, for his part, looks completely startled by the prospect of someone else existing at such an ungodly hour, but he manages to avoid outright screaming. That’s a plus. Abbacchio isn’t sure his head could take it this early. “What are you doing?”

“I asked first.”

Narancia narrows his eyes, but he caves within seconds. “I got a test in like two hours, and Fugo’s gonna kill me if I don’t pass.”

Abbacchio snorts at the idea, “Yeah, he will.”

“Not helping!”

“Never said I planned to,” Abbacchio points out as he starts rummaging through the cabinets for two mugs. He sets them on the counter and gets to work brewing their coffee. Decaf these days, for Bruno’s sake. Abbacchio could keep drinking his usual, but he takes solace in the bitter taste of his coffee instead. It seems kinder that way, especially when he knows how much Bruno’s been struggling without caffeine.

“Why are you awake?”

“I’m always awake this early,” next is breakfast, which is easier said than done. It’s rare that Abbacchio wakes up with a stomach for anything. Too many years of skipping breakfast in favor of a bottle did a number on him, but it’s not optional anymore. Neither one of them will be able to keep their meds down without something to eat, so he picks through the refrigerator until he comes up with fruit and yogurt as his best solution.

“Really?” Narancia asks, wrinkling his nose, “Why?”

“Ask Bruno,” Abbacchio says, dismissive. He’s really not in the mood to talk to people that aren’t currently snoozing in his bed.

“You’re not much fun in the morning.”

“Am I ever?”

“Touché.”

Abbacchio snorts. He should be offended, but he knows the kid is being a smartass. It’s his own fault for setting himself up. “Why don’t you go bother Fugo? I’m sure he’ll be happy to help you study.”

“Have you ever tried waking Fugo up?”

“No, can’t say that I have.” That’s always been Bruno’s job, assuming that Fugo hadn’t already woken up on his own.

“It’s too early to get stabbed.”

“Touché.”

They go back and forth for a while longer. At least until Abbacchio’s patience runs out, and he’s finished putting breakfast together. He dismisses himself with little warning and doesn’t feel the least bit guilty when the kid looks a little startled by the abruptness of his departure. He has things to get done for the day, and those things don’t necessarily include being part of Narancia’s obvious effort to procrastinate.

“Bruno,” Abbacchio calls when he steps back into their room after Moody opens the door for him. “Your five minutes are up.”

“Five more?” Bruno asks, voice muffled. His head is barely visible with only a tuft of hair sticking out from a pile of blankets. It’s cute, and Abbacchio is a complete sucker for giving in.

“Last one, tesoro,” Abbacchio warns as he sets Bruno’s cup and food down on the bedside table.

There’s a muffled reply that might be a quiet thanks, though it’s almost impossible to tell with the way Bruno pulls the blankets even tighter around himself.

Abbacchio rummages through the drawer of his nightstand until he finds what he’s looking for before taking up a spot at the end of the bed with his food and drink in hand. He sips at the decaf slowly, wrinkling his nose at the first taste. God, he misses caffeine. As expected, he doesn’t feel much better about his first bite of homemade parfait (and he can almost hear Polnareff’s protest at his calling it that). The rest goes down about the same, but the motion is mechanical at that point. One bite after the other with the occasional sip from his mug to wash it all down until everything is gone.

Abbacchio sets the dishes on the floor and reaches for the pill organizer sitting on the bed beside him. He absently runs his fingers over the lid, where small bones have been set in resin. He can still remember the first time he saw it. The black shine had caught his eye first, but, on closer examination, the thing that had convinced him to buy the organizer had been the mouse bones, delicately placed and striking against the background.

What he hadn’t realized then is that the little organizer would a significant adjustment to his daily routine. Having a week’s worth of medication in one place, already sectioned in dosed amounts, had significantly increased his medication compliance. Oddly enough, it’s had a rather hefty impact on his overall mental health. Now, when anti-inflammatories and bronchodilators and steroids are part of his daily regiment as much as his SSRI’s, it’s even more vital for him to consistently get his meds in. Otherwise, the consequences tend to be pneumonia and an unwanted hospital trip with a round of antibiotics and even stronger steroids. And that’s to say nothing of what happens when he’s running low on serotonin.

He’s caught up in his own thoughts when Bruno hooks his chin over his shoulder and peers down at the little organizer.

“I never did ask you if those are real,” Bruno muses quietly.

“I thought you were taking five more.”

“‘m awake,” Bruno answers, clearly half-asleep.

Abbacchio huffs a soft, amused laugh. He turns his head to press a kiss to the side of Bruno’s nose. “Sure you are, amore.”

“I am.”

“M’hm,” Abbacchio smiles, reflecting the expression on Bruno’s face, though his is notably less sleep-depressed. Bruno looks a lot like a light gust of wind might knock him out, and it’s so damn endearing that Abbacchio can barely handle it. Instead, he looks back down at the pill organizer and answers Bruno’s earlier question, “They are. Real, I mean.”

“They’re lovely,” Bruno says, and he means it. Odd as some might find Abbacchio’s taste, Bruno has always found beauty in it. “Perhaps I should get one.”

“Might be a good idea.” It would be easier to see if Bruno ever missed a dose, and it would certainly be easier to avoid that disaster all together. “There are other options. You could go with something—oceanic, maybe?”

Bruno hums at the thought. “I think I’d like that.”

“I’ll keep an eye out,” by which Abbacchio means that he’ll actively go looking for one. Anything to make Bruno’s life a touch easier.

“Oh, you brought breakfast,” Bruno says, moving away from Abbacchio to peer curiously at the morning’s offerings. “You’re entirely too kind.”

Abbacchio huffs a laugh at that, “For all that you’ve done for us? Hardly.” He pops open the side hatch of his organizer and dumps the day’s pills into his hand. Abbacchio pulls a face at the number of them and looks down at his mug. Right, he had meant to save a sip.

“Here,” Bruno offers his own with a smile. “We’ll get more in a bit.”

“If you’re sure...” Abbacchio could always go get his own, but he has a feeling that doing so will result in more small talk, and he’s not quite up for that yet.

“I am,” Bruno reassures him before taking up the bowl of yogurt and fruit in absence of his coffee. “Just leave enough for me to take mine.”

[tundrainafrica]

hi! i just wanted ask how can you not be so pressured to change hange’s gender to your fics (she to they/them) despite that many twitter users are saying that “au authors must use they/them to hange because they are canonically NB” . because to be honest, as an aspiring writer who is working on her first levihan fic, i feel so pressure or maybe obligied to use they/them pronouns for hange.

Hello Anon,

Thanks for the ask!

To be honest, I actually was pressured to use ‘they’ tbh. In fact, I was so pressured I actually did a lot of research on this and put a lot of thought into my decision to use ‘she’ as my chosen pronoun for Hange.

But tbh, I think I am pretty confident with the amount of research and the amount of thought I put into it that I don’t think I will be using ‘they’ in my fics anytime soon. 

Disclaimer: This doesn’t mean at all that I don’t like reading ‘they’ fics nor that I don’t like seeing people use ‘they.’ Tbh I don’t really mind whatever people use? I can enjoy a fic with either pronoun, I can enjoy a good meta with either pronoun. I have my own personal reasons for using they. 

Some of the reasons why: 

Personal HC 

Personal HC but I’m still gonna drop this here. 

To make things clear, I headcanon Hange as gender fluid. I headcanon her as sexuality fluid that personally, I’m not too much a fan either of fics that portray Hange as overly feminine either. So I have seen people who request that we do not use overly female or feminine words with Hange. Which yes, I don’t do them. But was a peer pressured into not using them? 

No, not really. I just personally think Levi would prefer the word partner if he was with Hange. I personally think that Hange would not have liked to fall into traditional female roles either. 

At the same time, I thought about the concept of using ‘they’ as a pronoun with Hange then I couldn’t help but think, it just isn’t in my personal interpretation of Hange to correct people. Hange is too much of a free bird to actually care what people use. Hange would probably respond to he, she, they or whatever and she probably wouldn’t correct anyone calling her mr., mrs. etc.

And in the context of Filo soc med AUs, Hange would probably respond to ate, kuya. (And besides, what is the gender neutral form of ate or kuya??? Mamsir)

And generally the default for most people is to look at someone and think okay, she’s a girl, I think I’ll use ‘she’ first. Or okay, that’s a guy, I think I’ll use ‘he’ first and what usually happens is if anyone is particularly conscious about the pronoun used on them, they will correct the other person. 

But there are people out there, who don’t care whether someone uses she, he, they, mr., mrs, ma’am, sir. For example, personally for me, I wouldn’t bother to correct anyone. And I headcanon that Levi and Hange wouldn’t have cared either. 

I’m sure people who read my fics would notice, I do put a lot of research when I write because I like to make things as realistic and as in character as possible.  So to get into the spirit of my fic and whatever setting I’m writing, I try to capture everything to a T and given the overall landscape and setting I’m writing about and given my own headcanons of Levi and Hange I decided on she.

Because in my headcanon, if someone were to ask Hange what pronoun she preferred? Hange probably would have said any. 

Likewise, if anyone asked Hange what her gender was, Hange probably would have said ‘any’ also.

And the setting of the show is practically medieval and gender identity is a relatively new concept. I don’t think many people would have spent too much time pondering ideas like individualism and  gender identity when they’re literally facing death everyday.  Actually a lot of the great thinking happened after the war, and when there was actually food on the table. Because people weren’t actually hungry everyday anymore so they had time to think about more modern thoughts. 

‘She’ is still an NB pronoun 

I answered this in another ask already. But the point behind this, is although ‘they’ is the go to non binary pronoun, there are NB people who go by she too. And creating this idea that all gender fluid characters HAVE to go by ‘they’ is dangerous in itself because the reason we had gender discrimination in the first place is because we had these boxes to fit ourselves into. So if a NB person wants to go by ‘she’ or ‘he’ or ‘they’ who are we to stop them? 

And I said it many times myself. We will never know which pronoun Hange would have preferred for herself. 

I get confused. 

This is a shallow reason but I’m gonna drop this here anyway. I get confused when I see ‘they.’ I read a lot of content which uses ‘they’ for Hange and I get confused a lot of the time that I have to read the sentences like three times because I end up thinking ‘Hange and who?’

I know I should have gotten used to it by now, but I still get confused because english is the only language I use on a regular basis that actually has such strict rules for how to navigate gendered pronouns.

I don’t wanna be peer pressured into doing shit just coz. 

Tbh, for me, as long as I did my research, as long as I can argue both sides as to why and as long as I am confident in the fact that I have thought about this enough before deciding on this, I will not change it. 

I am pretty convinced that a lot of people who actually go all the way as to attack someone on twitter and to cancel them (over a lot of topics tbh) haven’t done their due research. 

Because most of the people I know who have done their due research wouldn’t be fighting (on Twitter OF ALL PLACES) in the first place. 

Because doing actual research (which means reading articles which support both sides of the argument) will only make people realize that the world is too grey and too complex to ever make pushing their own agenda, ‘cancelling’ someone and calling them transphobic, homophobic, racist etc ect  or as they like to call ‘educating’ someone the right thing to do. Believe me, if people genuinely wanted to educate someone, they would slide into their DMs and calmly tell them their own opinion, ask why the other person believes a certiain way and you know, be ready to learn something too because education is a two way street. And if the conversation isn’t going anywhere, I think any level headed person would probbaly just give up and do something more worth while with their time than cancel some stranger on social media.

Regardless though, I respect either decision and I recognize the fact that a lot of Hange stans are very much more comfortable with the pronoun ‘they’ My general practice when navigating this sensitive topic is to use ‘they’ for Hange when talking to someone who prefers ‘they’ because it’s a conversation and in conversation, the space becomes something shared between me and the other person so I would do my part to make it as comfortable for them as possible. 

But here’s the thing, my fic is my space. It’s a house I built for myself and the readers are the visitors that come in and out as they please. No one is forced to read my fic and never have I and never will I tie someone down on a chair and not free them until they read my work. 

It’s my fic. It’s my work and I can do whatever I want with it.

People tend to forget that in the end this is a fandom space and people should be free to headcanon things however they want. They should be free to explore whatever themes they want. And I like to do my part to promote this type of environment by sticking to a few iron clad rules.

I write what I want to write.

Don’t like, don’t read.

Content is free. There’s a back button and if you do not appreciate the themes someone is exploring or the headcanons someone is applying to their fic, you may click the back button and look for something that doesn’t offend you. 

(I’m gonna end up digressing a bit here so feel free not to read the rant below)

There are an infinite number of headcanons and ideas which ideally should be able to exist. Yet because of this constant need to be politically correct and this constant fear that we might be offending someone and we might end up cancelled, a lot of people have been watching their own creative works more than necessary. 

I actually fear that there are a lot of good ideas and there are a lot of themes that could have been explored but weren’t. 

And this is why I love ao3 a lot. Ao3 is free from societal pressure, corporate synergy and I appreciate the fact that in that space, I’m free to explore whatever themes I want. I can read something pro-rape, I can read something anti-rape. I can read something pro abuse, I can read something anti-abuse etc etc. 

I personally have very liberal views and obviously I am not for rape or abuse in ANY situation.

But I am also the type of person who will read things that celebrate a controversial topic and things that will attack that same topic because I just generally want a more nuanced opinion on a lot of things. Because when I have seen both sides of the spectrum, then it’s just easier for me to proudly say ‘Yes, I believe this’ or ‘No, I don’t believe that.’

And I think these pieces should be available for other people to explore so that they can for themselves form more nuanced opinions on whatever topics come their way and the more sides people are aware of that exist, the less likely we’re going to end up with groupthink or hivemind situations which have fucked people over countless times in history already.

Should questionable content be widely available? Personally no but I don’t think it should be completely unavailable.

Regardless these potentially offensive pieces should exist and  I’m saying this for both controversial topics such as rape and abuse and something as relatively harmless as Hange being referred to as ‘she’ on a fic. All stories exploring every facet and every side regardless of how controversial should exist in this space because these promote discourse and they promote thinking. These pieces of work that explore taboo and offensive topics and the discourse these create only serve to make our opinions more nuanced so at least we aren’t blinded or we don’t have these half assed opinions only fueled by having read material created by people who are biased to one particular side. At least we have enough fuel for ourselves to say ‘Yes I have read this and now I can more proudly say I believe this more.’  

Whatever opinions I have made for myself about social issues are only how they are because I listen to both sides of the argument. I like to play devil’s advocate. I like to listen to people even if I don’t agree with what they’re saying. 

And I like finding compromises so that people can co-exist and I like tweaking my opinions everyday based on new information I learn.

And personally, there are so many views I hate and there are types of topics I personally would prefer not to explore but I still believe in the back of my mind they should exist. And if we do whitewash or try to force everyone to adjust their works to whatever side we deem is more ‘politically correct,’ then we will lose facets of the fandom that could have existed, that could have promoted a more colorful discourse and that could have sprouted new ideas and new ways of thinking which may be even more creative if people weren’t so scared to be cancelled or wrong.

It’s different in a conversation. I will adjust the way I speak, the way I navigate interactions with people in a shared space. 

But no one is forced to read my works no one is forced to read fanfiction so cancelling someone over how they go about their creative works will always be worse in my book than someone who is exploring problematic themes. (As long as that person tags their trigger material properly and isn’t forcing anyone to read it or forcing their own personal beliefs on anyone or attacking them)

Anyway, sorry for the long ass rant again but I hope you get the courage to use whatever pronouns you want for Hange. 

I hope this makes you realize that there really isn’t a black and white to this. And this is a fandom space. Do whatever you want. Headcanon whatever you want. Just be respectful and kind.

[witchygagirlwrites]

Carry Me

You and Kevin finally admit your feelings

"Take a picture it’ll last longer” Kim whispering in your ear nearly made you jump out your seat as you looked back at her “I have no idea what you’re talking about” She raised an eyebrow and glanced across the room to where your attention had just been. Kevin was standing talking to Hank and it was clear your attention was not on your sergeant.

“You like Kev! I don’t know why you don’t just ask him out. I mean it’s not the stone ages, we women can make the first move” she whispered and you shook your head looking around to be sure no one had heard her. “He’s my co worker Kim. I think if anymore of his team hook up Voight may just have a coronary. Besides I doubt he’d feel the same and a little crush isn’t worth messing up a friendship over” you chanced another look at Kevin and he just happened to look up at that moment and winked at you before returning to his conversation with Hank. Damn he looked good in that blue henley.

—-

Focusing back on work was easy when the unti caught a case involving what appeared to be a gang shooting on the south side.

You were helping do a canvas to try to find any witnesses when you spotted the new patrolman Jessica talking to Kevin and felt a twinge of what could only be described as jealousy when she touched his arm and smiled at something he’d said clearly flirting.

Despite your best efforts to not let it bother you it seemed like your mouth had a brain of it’s own when you blurted out “Officer aren’t you supposed to be helping the canvas? Not pawing one of the intelligence unit?” Her eyes widened as she turned to look at you and stammered “y-yes detective” and turned to catch up with her partner who was already halfway down the block. “Real professional Atwater” you grumbled with a shake of your head glad for a distraction when you heard Hank’s voice calling all of you over.

—-

The unit headed back to the precinct to start working any different angle to find out just what had went down. You luckily were able to avoid Kevin by Hank sending you with Antonio to talk to your joint C.I.s

“Hey you and Kev ok?” He asked on the way back to the precinct and you cut your eyes at him “We’re fine. Why?” He shrugged “Don’t know usually there’s alot more joking going on between the two of you”

“we’re currently working a case Toni. Wouldn’t be too professional would it?” You asked and he again shrugged “Don’t shoot the messenger sweetheart. Just checking to be sure”

—-

A break came in the form of one of your informants calling to say he knew who was taking credit for the shooting and after running down the name it turned out this wasn’t a gang shooting at all but more of a revenge thing considering the shooter had been convicted of a crime six years before hand on which the victim had been a silent informant.

—-

You were all down in roll up getting ready to head out. Kevin looked over when you slipped your vest on but before he could offer to help adjust the straps Adam got through helping Kim and moved to do yours at her request.

He didn’t know why you were so mad at him but it bothered him to some degree not being the one to adjust your vest. He’d been helping you with it since he came up to intelligence and it felt wrong not doing it.

—-

“Oh son of a bitch” you groaned between gritted teeth, your left ankle feeling like it was on fire every time you tried to put the least amount of weight on it.

When all of you had showed up to the address a fire fight had ensued and you’d ended up chasing the suspect three blocks before you tackled him. It quickly turned into a fight before backup could get there and somehow in the mix you’d wound up twisting your ankle in the struggle.

When Adam and Jay saw you standing favoring that side well let’s just say the suspect went in with a few extra bumps.

Hank found you leaning heavily against his suv and looked down at your leg “Go to med” “Boss I’m fine” you argued but one look at his face you knew it wasn’t a request.

You tried to walk back to Antonio’s car but your ankle gave way, before you could hit the ground you felt someone scoop you up in their arms and was surprised to see it was Kevin. A part of you felt embarrassed to be carried after such a trivial injury, the other part fought the urge to lean into his touch. “Put me down” you growled pulling a laugh from him “when you get to the car I’ll put you down”

—-

Antonio ended up riding back with Hank so that left Kevin to take you to med. The two of you sat in silence waiting for Ethan to come back with the results of your xray.

“Are you still mad at me?” He asked glancing up from his phone. You shook your head “Never was” “uh huh” he huffed but thankfully Ethan chose that moment to come in to inform you it was just a bad sprain. “Keep off it, take your anti inflammatory and you shouldn’t be benched but about a week”

“Thanks Doc” you said after he had the ankle wrapped and held out crutches to you. He smiled and said “You’re welcome. It’s a nice change to treat you when a bullet hole isn’t part of the problem”

—-

Kevin helped you get into the car then put your crutches in the backseat. “Sarge said to take you home. Kim is gonna bring your car after shift” he spoke quietly and you nodded not looking at him.

When he pulled into your driveway he turned the car off and sat for a minute before looking at you “Jessica was flirting with me but I told her that I had eyes for someone else before you ever came over there” “and you’re telling me this why?” You asked.

He rolled his eyes and let his head fall back against the rest “Damn girl are you blind? You’re the someone I got eyes for. I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to ask you out but weren’t sure how you felt until you been bugging all day over her. So at the risk of being a damn fool when you’re healed up you wanna go out to dinner with me?”

You were a bit stunned at his confession but couldn’t help teasing him just a little “On one condition” he raised an eyebrow before asking what that condition was. “Carry me in?” You asked with a smirk. He laughed, a relieved look creeping onto his face “I think I can manage that”

[dionysus-is-my-dude]

hey, y’all, i’m alive

I have been in a depressive episode, so I took a nice long break from tumblr. i’ve been super exhausted and taking naps and sleeping a lot. i just took my first shower for the first time in like three weeks, and i’m even doing a conditioning treatment to try and make myself feel a bit better. I really cannot express enough how good it feels to clean up when i’m not feeling well. it really does just make a big difference for me. i understand it can be really difficult for a lot of folks to bathe, and trust me, i’ve been there over and over and over, but personal hygiene can be one thing you can control that can really have a big impact on your mental health.

my psych upped my morning dose of my mood stabilizer/anti-psychotic as a way to help me with my hallucinations and paranoia, and to hopefully help me with my depressive episode. so we’ll see how that goes. i hope it’s not the reason i’ve been so exhausted lately. i think part of the exhaustion is that i worked a long week last week and i think i was just mentally drained. also, i’ve been dealing with a stubborn ingrown toenail and lots of painful swelling because of it. also allergies. and well, the weather has just been super dark and rainy, and i guess i haven’t been taking my vitamin d supplement like i used to, so i’m back on taking it. i forgot this morning to call my doctor about possibly getting a light therapy lamp. y’know, those uv lamps that mimic sunlight that most people get for seasonal depression, but i hardly get any sun ever, so it might help me with my energy levels. i’ll call tomorrow morning.

anyway, just letting you dudes know that i’m back, and i’ll be trying to make posts again. my life itself is just fine, but bipolar disorder doesn’t particularly care about that, i guess, since i’m just depressed. could be just stress from work, not having talked tomy counselor for a month while she was moving, and then talking to her about some serious trauma that felt pretty stressful to relive. i’m hoping i’ll do better with my uptick in meds and bathing. i’m gonna see about wearing my amethyst bracelet so i can pray to dionysus about my mental health at work when i’m overwhelmed. take care, my dudes!

[yikesharringrove]

Toy Box

Part 7

Read on ao3

-

“I don’t know what to do.”

Billy thunked his head on the table. Heather reached out, absentmindedly scratching the back oh his head before withdrawing, going back to typing away at her laptop.

“Just fuck him.” Billy sat up properly, staring at her, unimpressed.

“But we have to like, live together. And he already gets so, awkward with me, if we fuck and then, that’s it, he’ll get weird.”

“Then date him.” She hadn’t looked at him the whole time, simply tapping away at her homework.

“But, what if things go bad, and we have to live together, or, or he moves out or something?” Heather sighed, giving him a look over her laptop.

“Billy, either you make a move, or you deal. You’ve been whining for days.”

“Because the universe dropped the perfect guy into my lap, and I can do shit all about it.” Heather sighed loudly.

“You could.”

“I can not fuck this up though. He left his medicine bag in the bathroom this morning, he’s on some pretty hardcore anti-anxiety and antidepressants and shit. And, like, we got high together, and he was definitely drunk the other night, so I don’t think he actually takes them, which is, something I don’t feel is my place to bring up to him. I mean, we’re like friends? I think after last night?” Heather was still typing quickly. “So, like, if this goes south, it could go south.”

“Billy, as shitty as it sounds, you can not constantly be worried about everyone around you. And, what if everything goes well? You ever think about that?”

“‘Course not. I’m a pessimist by design.” Heather closed her laptop a little bit, taking him in.

“If you’re really worried about him, maybe you could talk to someone. Didn’t you say he has a friend he talks about a lot?”

“Yeah, Robin.”

“If you’re freaked but you feel like it’s not your place, maybe talk to her?”

“But they were drinking together.”

“Maybe she doesn’t know? Maybe he doesn’t like to tell people. Were they like, right there or did you go snooping?” Billy looked down at the table, tracing the wood grain. “You did not.”

“I noticed him putting the medicine bag in his backpack when he went to Robin’s yesterday, and then it was there and it was open, I didn’t have to unzip it.”

“That’s not better.” Billy shrugged. “You’re a freak.”

“I’m concerned.”

“Steve’s a grownup. And besides, some medications you can drink on. It’s not, like, recommended, but you can.”

“Heather, you know I barely paid attention in psych.”

“Yeah, you napped next to me everyday and then copied all my notes. And somehow scored better than me on the final.” Billy grinned at her.

“Cramming works. If you don’t mind forgetting the material the second you finish the test.”

“Yeah, I prefer learning.”

“Nerd.” She kicked him under the table. He pouted at her.

“I don’t really know what to tell you here, Billy. If you can find a way to bring it up to him, then do so, but if not, trust that he’s managing himself. If he’s on those, he has a psychiatrist, a pharmacist, and probably a therapist that have explained everything to him.” Billy grunted, leaning forward to plant his forehead back on the table.

“I just feel stupid. I’m getting all, all-”

“Boyfriendy.” Billy lifted his head a little bit to let it fall back onto the table. “You know it’s true. You always get like this about the guys you like. All alpha-male overprotective.”

“It’s not my fault I only like guys that are, needy, and reliant.” Heather stared at him.

“A psychoanalyst would have a field day with you.” It was Billy’s turn to kick her under the table. He sat back up.

“He accidentally called me daddy today.” She stared at him.

“How do you accidentally call someone daddy?” Billy shrugged.

“Steve found a way.” He sighed, flicking at his empty mug. “He said it was a joke with his friend. That whenever she gets bossy he’ll say yes, Daddy. Which, I told him to eat, and he said that.”

“Jesus, you both are analyst bait.”

“Stop saying that.” She rolled her eyes, pushing her laptop back open, looking back over her work.

“I had to jerk off after he said it.” She choked, thumping on her chest as she coughed.

“That’s so much.”

“Like, the second he said it? Hard as a fucking rock.”

“Billy, I don’t wanna know that.”

“What? You like dick.”

“But not your dick.” He huffed.

“Just ‘cause my dick doesn’t like you-”

“It’s less your dick, more the you that comes attached to it.”

“Rude.”

“You want someone to talk about your dick with, go find Steve. Stick it in him while you’re at it.”

“Jeez, Heather. Do you have to be so graphic?”

She gave him another unimpressed look. Billy checked the clock on his phone.

“Actually, I should go. Steve seemed kinda in a funk when I left. Probably from not taking his fucking meds. I was gonna bring him dinner.”

Heather rolled her eyes.

“Alpha-male protectiveness.”

“Sorry that I’m thoughtful.”

“Yeah, a real daddy.”

Billy winked at her.