#i think in my head it just feels like kages should be kages from like. their 20s or whenever the get the position

[lecliss]

I've still been fucked up ever since I found out that(according to an actually plausible timeline), Konoha has only existed for like 90-something or whatever years??? It's not like. Fucking 200 years old or whatever. And that Madara died when he was 74 but he had himself hooked up to, fuckin what was it??? The Gedo statue?? A tree?? Whatever. In order to keep himself alive and you look at him all old and crusty and think he's like. Over a hundred at least. But no, that man's 74. He's just an average fucking grandpa!!! And Hashirama had been dead for a LONG while, so he actually died pretty young all things considered. And that also means Mito died like. Fuckin. I'm guesstimating here but in her 60s I guess???? But it's a significant thing that the Uzumakis have longer than average lifespans so like. What the fuck is the average life expectancy in Naruto for this bullshit to make sense???

[animeomegas]

Ah, sorry! I meant after they get married and maybe are starting a family, which omegas would become stay at home parents vs working parents

-sauce anon

Okay, I got it! Here are my thoughts~ I've just done parents, because I don't think many of them would retire after a marriage. I think the only ones who might retire after marriage might be Kankuro and maybe Sai. Itachi would too, if he was allowed, but eh, the clan probably don't agree to it until he's pregnant.

Working parentings (workload that takes them away from family time more often):

Naruto - Becoming hokage was his dream, and he feels a great responsibility for his village that he could never let go off. It's a massive part of his life, and he couldn't give it up, no matter what.

Sasuke - He does not have the mental fortitude to be a stay-at-home parent. He quite simply couldn't cope feeling cooped up and trapped by his child. Sasuke is a better parent when he has some time alone, and some time to travel a bit.

Shikamaru - I've put him here and in the category below, because I think it does fluctuate. He has a massive workload, and it's something he feels he doesn't have a choice in taking. He's the sort of person who never feels like he's done enough, and yet is always working too much. It's not his identity though. He works because he feels he has to.

Gaara - Again, another kage here, with the massive workload that comes with that. To his credit, I think Gaara manages to find the best balance out of the men in this category, but he still works a lot. I think, like Naruto, he feels the responsibility and care to his village, and he could never abandon them.

Working parents (workload that keeps them around more often):

Shino - He's a teacher at the academy, so while he is a working parent, he is around a lot, as he goes to school with the pups, and then also walks home with them. That being said, he would probably take leave when his pups were babies/toddlers and stay at home full time, unless his alpha was staying at home with them. Aburame culture dictates that one parent should stay at home if there are pups, and the clan helps support that financially.

Shikamaru (again) - However, continuing on Shikamaru, if his alpha ever made a breakthrough on getting him to make his own decisions, or it got to the point where Shikamaru had to step back from being the Hokage's aid to run the clan, he's around a bit more. I think this balance would be the one that made him happiest, but he needs a push to get there.

Iruka - He's similar to Shino, although depending on his age, he might be the head of the academy. He stops taking extra shifts or missions once he has children and focuses on teaching. He could never leave his students. I think he would get bored just staying at home, so working suits him better.

Flexible parents (those that might not work, but might as well, depends on the circumstances):

Chouji - I think he would want to be around when his pups were very young for sure, but after that, I think it depends. He would eventually be taking over the clan, but that might be when his children are older anyway. He might run missions on occasion, if he's well suited. If his children needed him more for whatever reason, he wouldn't though. It's very situational.

Kisame - I think he wouldn't mind staying home with small children, but once they hit school age, he would get too bored without things to do. I'm not sure what work he would be doing in a world where he was stable enough to have children, but he'd find something, maybe collecting bounties.

Yamato - He wants his children to know that he is always there for them no matter what, so I think he'd feel guilty working. But once they were in school, he'd probably find a job that fit around school hours. Even if it was just helping around the village with the mokuton. I think he'd like to do that.

Stay-at-home parents:

Kiba - He's got far too many to dump on someone else XD No, Kiba is happiest with his family. Work schmerk. There is literally no way he could be bored. With how many he has, he often has a child small enough to require attention all day.

Neji - He is determined to go back to work after having a baby. Absolutely, 100% sure. But every time it gets to the point where he should be returning to taking missions, he makes up some arbitrary reason why he can't. "They've been anxious about nursery, I think I should stay at home until they settle", "They need to finish their medicine for the infection, I'll stay home to make sure they take it", "They said they don't enjoy school... maybe I should homeschool?" He ends up staying home until they leave the house, and by then his priorities have changed.

Itachi - All he wants to do is stay at home. He would have retired after marriage if his clan wouldn't have thrown a fit over it. Once he quits taking missions, he's never going back. He's a bit lost after his children leave home, and he mourns not having as many as he would have liked. Until he's provided with grandchildren or chickens to look after lol.

(I was really, really torn on Minato and how I wanted to characterise him, so I left him off. If it was canon Minato, it would be the top one for sure, but I don't know if that's how I want to go with him, idk.)

[minevn]

Merry Christmas~ Love, Mine

TW: Yani's entire character honestly, Health hazards due to beauty standards, Hoshi says some outta pocket stuff to Jun about starving. Let me know if I've missed anything

You had made a mistake honestly. You should've known that this was going to be chaotic, a mess, and maybe even damper your own Christmas.

You wanted to hang out with everyone though. Was it really too much to ask for? Just a calm, relaxing, fun Christmas with your friends. No! At least you didn't think so. The world had other plans for you though.

About a week ago you went into work, it was the same as usual. While you were taking care of customers orders you couldn't help but think about Christmas and how close it was. Every year Haruto, Aki, Kage, Jun, and you all throw a little Christmas party, a nice gathering to hang out with friends, and family on their end. It's always been fun, even if it gets a bit hectic at times. You've been a little swamped with work though, it's the holidays and people are going to treat themselves to the good ol' Kikuchi restaurant, anyways you haven't had a lot of time to set up things at your place. You'd do that later tonight.

If you weren't exhausted by the end of your shift.

Which you usually are...

"What are you spacing out for, dumbass." A gentle smack to the back of your head snaps you out of your thoughts. Of course, you recognize that voice anywhere from about a years worth of suffering this dude placed upon you. Kikuchi Hoshi. He's mellowed out some around you, you could even classify as friends! Well...that's mainly going off of how they treated you before. It still doesn't look like you two are friends from an outside perspective.

"Sorry! I was thinking about Christmas. I'm throwing the annual Christmas party this year and haven't had time to decorate at all." You explained before quickly getting back to work. You mind barely went back to the Christmas party for the rest of the shift. However, you felt Hoshi's eyes on you the entire rest of the shift.

Your shift was FINALLY over and you were getting ready to close up and head home. Yeah, you'd set up for Christmas tomorrow. "Bye you three." You waved goodbye to the Kikuchi family before turning around and walking.

"Uhm, wait! Excuse me, Y/n?" You turned around to face Mr. Kikuchi. "I heard you were throwing a Christmas party? Would you please allow Habiki and Hoshi to celebrate with you?" He put his large hands on his son's shoulders in a very fatherly way and gave you a smile. "They've always celebrated with me and I would like them to go have fun and celebrate with some friends, or friend, as you are their only friend." Your eyes widened at the request. You gave an awkward smile as you looked between the two. Their body language saying 'I don't want to go and I'd only be going cause my father made me.' but with the way their eyes kept glancing at you with expectancy, their face even faltering when you take longer then you should to respond. That tells you they wanted to go but didn't know how to ask.

"Yeah, they can come. We'd be more then happy to have them." You can't find it in your heart to deny such a request. you feel bad about making such a decision without confronting the rest of the group about it first, but that guilt doesn't last long. Seeing Mr. Kikuchi smile at me before whispering something in his sons ears, seeing Hoshi eyes light up with excitement, seeing a small smile form on Habiki's face, all of that makes you feel good about your impulsiveness. You wave and continue walking home.

When you get home you feel rejuvenated from the pleasant interaction with your boss and his sons. You have enough energy and motivation to set up for Christmas now!

...

...

You didn't sleep at all, but that's okay! You'll just drink 10 cups of coffee today, it'll be okay! You take a quick shower before work and head out, early, cause you need to get two for the morning. You head over to the coffee shop near your work place and ask for two coffee's. As you go to pay a hand stops you before handing the cashier their cash instead. You look up and see Kei smiling down at you.

"Kei?"

"Good morning, Y/n. You didn't sleep last night?" His eyes examine your face, mainly your dark eyebags. His brows furrowed in worry as he gently cupped your cheek. "You really should take better care of yourself, Y/n. I could take care of you if you want."

"What? I couldn't hear that last part."

"Don't worry about it, I was mainly speaking to myself." He smiled down at you before pointing to his seat. "Can you take a seat and save mine please? Rest, I'll get your drink." He let go of you and you did as asked, relaxing and saving his seat.

In no time he brought back your coffee's and sat them down in front of you, before sitting down himself. "Thank you, Kei." you smiled before taking a much needed drink of the coffee.

"Of course, anytime." He smiled at you before his smile faded. He interlocked his fingers and rested his chin on them. "Why did you stay up so late?"

"Oh! I had to set up for a Christmas party. I got some energy and motivation last night, so I decided to just do it." Kei let out a hum in response as he watched you drink more of my coffee. Good, he can watch you thoroughly enjoy his gift! Gift...Kei... "Hey, you wanna come to the party?" You smiled at him, happily enjoying his startled reaction.

"That sounds...lovely. Thank you, Y/n."

"Of course, anytime." You chuckled as you quoted him before standing up. "I gotta head to work now. Thanks for the coffee once again!" He nodded and waved bye to you, watching you head across the street and to your own work.

You walk into work and head to the staff room to put on your work cap and apron before heading about your daily work activities. 'Maybe I should invite everyone? I already bought their gifts last month. If I invite them all then I don't need to make extra trips to give them their gifts, we can just exchange them at the party.' Hours pass and work goes by as usual, except the coffee is wearing off and the customers voices are sounding more slurred to you.

"Y/n!" You almost don't hear it, you're too sleepy, but you do thankfully and turn towards your good friend, Minato.

"Good night, Minato..." You give him a sleepy smile. His brows immediately furrow in worry, not that you see it. He places a large hand on your forehead before pulling it away.

"Did you sleep well?" Minato crosses his arms as he stares down at you.

"I didn't sleep at all."

"You really need to take better care of yourself!" Getting scolded by someone as kind as Minato actually makes you feel bad for a minute but then you see a smile form on his face as he shakes his head. "Did something happen? You could always call me if you need me."

"I was decorating for a Christmas party. You can come too Minato, I'm sure everyone would be pleased to have you." You smile again, your excitement for a Christmas party with all of my friends sounding lovely. (Must've forgotten who they are😞)

"Am I really allowed?" You smile more seeing his excitement grow as well.

"I don't see why or how it would be a problem. Do you want to come? If you need time to think about it that's okay, just let me know before Christmas." He looked so excited, like he would accept in a heartbeat, but then he faltered, clearly thinking about it. It makes sense, he's probably always spent Christmas with his grandparents and he wouldn't want them to be lonely or have something happen to them while he wasn't there. "Think about it Minato and get back to me, it's okay." You place a hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks. Sorry I would love to come but my grandparents..."

"I know. It's okay, take all the time you need. If you can't make it this year that's okay. I'll find a time to drop by and give you my gift." His face flushed and he nodded shyly as a thank you.

"You need coffee?"

"10 of them" You laugh, letting him know you were clearly joking. He'd probably pass out from nervousness if he knew you were being serious. He nods and then leaves, letting you head back to work just in time as more customers roll in. You feel more energized just from having that conversation. Could still use that coffee though.

Minato comes back and hands you a large coffee. "Here you go." you take the coffee with a thank you before starting to drink. "Make sure you get sleep tonight and don't drink too much coffee. If you need help waking up in the morning I have ways that can help."

"Thanks Minato." He nods before waving bye to you and leaving. Thanks to the coffee You're more awake for the rest of your shift.

You sigh and put your apron and hat back in your locker. "What do you want?" Hoshi asks rudely while Habiki stares you down. You tense up, remembering how they used to treat you.

"Uhm what? I didn't say anything."

"What? NO! For Christmas!" Hoshi rubs his temples as he glares at you.

"Oh I don't need anything, thank you though." You'd feel bad asking for anything when you don't really know how close you two are. Still, you're surprised that they even thought about getting you anything. The first year all Hoshi gave you was a cruel prank.

"I didn't ask if you NEEDED anything, I asked what you WANTED." You tensed again. He's stubborn and absolutely would not let this go until you gave him an answer.

"I think their brain is fried. They drank three coffee's today."

"Seriously! Did you not sleep well?" Despite his earlier angry tone, he relaxed a little, his eyes and voice hold hints of worry.

"I was so excited for the Christmas party after inviting you two that I got energy to decorate, but I ended up not sleeping." You sheepishly admit, playing with your hair.

"So you're saying this is out fault?" Habiki was teasing, though you couldn't tell

"NO! I just got excited. I'm looking forward to spending Christmas with my friends." You yawned before continuing with a smile. "Its been the same four people for most of my life and now we'll have new people. I think that's nice."

"Whatever, just text me what you want when you think of it."

"Night, Y/n."

"Good night Hoshi and Habiki, see you tomorrow." You wave bye to them as they head out. Finally, the day was over. You'd head home and sleep almost instantly.

You open your front door and beeline to your bedroom. Despite feeling like the urge to just plop down on your bed and sleep would be strong, you still had stuff you need to do. You open you door and see Yani sitting on your bed and staring at you intensely before smiling at you. "Hiya Y/n!"

"Yani?! Uhm hi? What are you doing here? How'd you get in?" You ask looking around panicked. "Actually, I don't wanna know. Anyways I'm gonna grab my pajamas and get changed, brush my teeth and go to sleep so..."

"Sooooooo~" Yani looks at you expectantly and you shoot him a confused look. They pout and plop down on your bed dramatically. "You invited everyone else...invite me too please~!"

"Oh! Yani of course you can come...just don't fight with anyone. Promise me."

"I'd never fight with anyone my love~" Yani chuckles before quickly stopping, seeing your unimpressed expression. "...I promise..." It sighs before sitting up and launching itself off your bed, standing up and hugging you. "Carry on with your night, I'll be seeing you~" They press a quick kiss to your cheek before opening up the window and jumping out, waving bye to you. You blink in confusion. You've known Yani for a while and feel like you REALLY should be used to their weird, reckless behavior. Strangest human you've met most definitely. Honestly, they don't even really seem human, but that's a pretty rude thing to think.

You continue about you night as planned getting some well deserved sleep.

And then the week continues, leading all the way up to Christmas.

You may have forgotten to inform the original group of your new guests...

So here you are inside of your place with all your friends, Jun and Haruto looking at the others with caution, Kage more awkward then usual, and Minato and Aki being the only two that are getting along great.

Yeah, maybe not the best Idea to invite others impulsively. Maybe it would've been better if I had actually remembered to contact the original group and let them know. I messed up.

"Kei, it's...amazing...to see you again after all this time." Haruto says with a forced smile. At least he's being civil this time around, he didn't hide his hatred for Kei back in High School.

"The feelings are mutual." Kei sounds as uncaring as usual. It would be humorous if only it wasn't so awkward.

Jun and Kage are talking amongst themselves, which is understandable since they're the same age and had classes together. Jun probably would talk to Aki instead but she's absorbed in her conversation with Minato. Makes sense, they're the easiest people to get along with as they're both sociable and kind. Hoshi and Habiki are talking to each other since they don't really know anyone else, you're pretty sure they're also aware that others know they used to pick on you often too. Yani is...watching you with a lovesick expression.

"Y/n, can we talk? Privately." Haruto looks your way with an unreadable expression, all you can tell is that he's NOT pleased with this. I stand up nervously and follow Haruto to my bedroom. "Why are they here?? Like seriously, Kei, of ALL people! And what about those twins?? Don't they torment you? And that pink haired person, all they've done this entire time is stare at you. Are you in danger? Did these people threaten you?" Haruto's questions and judgements spilled from his mouth.

"I meant to inform you guys but ended up forgetting. I'm sorry. I was spacing out at work one day and Hoshi asked what I was spacing out for, so I told him I was spacing out thinking about the Christmas party. I guess he told Habiki and his dad about it and they wanted to come. Their dad asked for them, and they looked happy when I accepted." I smile recalling the moment, but then remembered that I had made things uncomfortable. "Minato's-"

"Minato's fine. He can come to Christmas parties if he wants I guess."

"Kei and Yani really aren't that bad." You couldn't help but think 'they're worse then bad' to yourself but refrained from saying anything. Truth be told they still had their good moments more then their bad ones, their bad was just really bad. Okay that mainly just applies to Kei. Yani is...how would one describe Yani? How did you become friends with these people again, normal people wouldn't allow them to come even remotely close to them after what they pulled.

"I just...don't trust those two, especially Kei."

"I understand. I'm sorry it won't happen again. Christmas is our time and I kinda broke the tradition didn't I?" Haruto chuckled slightly before nodding.

"Yeah. Let's go exchange presents and then celebrate Jun's birthday." Haruto walked out of you room and back into the living room with his presents, you sat next to him of course.

"Let's start exchanging gifts!" You said cheerfully, trying to ease the awkward tension. Haruto goes to slide you your gift, but Hoshi haphazardly throws his gift at you. Jun pouts.

"I should've been the first one to exchange presents. Especially with Y/n."

"Well then maybe you should've been faster." Hoshi remarks, a slight smirk on his face. Well, this can't be good. "Why should you be the first to exchange gifts anyways. Are you that special? Crazy, since I've never heard of you."

"Hoshi-"

"I usually exchange gifts first since it's also my birthday."

"Oh. Congratulations on being one year closer to death. Did you know people have a higher change of dying on their birthday then they do any other day? Maybe your time is coming faster then expected, you were so slow like an old, deteriorating person."

"I'M YOUNGER THEN YOU?!"

"I couldn't tell with how slow you were. Seriously, if your so good and special then be faster."

"Who are YOU? Seriously, it's tradition that I choose who to exchange presents with first. You can't just waltz in here like you own the place and ruin this for us."

"You ruined it yourself with how slow you are. Must have lower energy then most people because you look like you hardy eat. What? Too focused on beauty standards. Who gives a shit anyways, we all end up looking the same eventually. See you 6 feet under when we're just skeletons, tell me if you care about beauty then."

"Hoshi!"

"Excuse me? Seriously, who the fuck are you? Coming in here and insulting my sister like that! You don't know anything about her and what she's been through so keep your mouth shut." Oh great, now Aki is mad and joining in.

"I don't need to know anything about this person, I can tell just from looking at her."

"Hoshi, can you knock it off?!" You shout at Hoshi. Out of the corner of your eye you see Yani smile. "You should apologize to jun. Also take this back for now and let Jun exchange her gifts." You turn towards Aki and Jun apologetically. "I'm sorry about, Hoshi."

"Hoshi?"

"You mean the guy that's really awful towards you at work?"

"Y-yeah. Those are the horrendous twins."

"I haven't even done anything yet...?" Habiki shoots Kage a confused glance.

"I've seen the way you two treat Y/n at work. I even got some of that treatment." Despite Kage's timid personality, they shot a glare at the twins.

"They've gotten...better. Today just isn't a good example of it..." You sigh and throw your head back, looking at the ceiling and wondering why it went wrong so quickly.

"Y/N! They're fighting, does that mean I can fight too?" Yani asked with excitement.

"NO! I don't want any fighting!"

"I can do physical fighting if verbal fighting is the problem for you?"

"EVERY fighting is the problem to me!?" You're REALLY starting to regret inviting these people. "Minato, Kei, thank you two for being the best behaved."

"Once again, I haven't even done anything yet."

"I haven't actually done anything either! I just talked about it."

"Both of you just need to stop speaking. Habiki I don't like the use of the word 'yet' in your sentence."

"I think Kei's done something wrong by still being alive..."

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear you Haruto..." You shot him a glare and he looked at you confused, feigning innocence. "Gift exchange, we are behind schedule people." Jun hands you her gift first, then she hands Aki hers, then Kage's, then Haruto's. In return you all give Jun your gifts that you had gotten her. You then exchanged gifts with your self invited guests. "Alright Jun, I'll go get your cake."

"I can come with you, cutie~!" Jun stood up and started following you. You didn't notice but Yani followed you too. Of course it did, it follows you everywhere... Jun seemed to notice though and shot a glare at Yani. "Go sit down, three's a crowd."

"I agree!" Yani moved closer to Jun and pulled a pocket knife out of her sleeve. Smiling at Jun's horrified face. "Maybe you should go sit down and celebrate your birthday with your friends, Y/n will be out in a little, kay? Stop being annoying and go be patient." Jun backed away and sat down panicked as she kept glancing at Yani who kept watching her. You brought the cake out shortly placed it in front of Jun excitedly, smiling at her.

"Merry Christmas, Jun. But most importantly, happy birthday!"

"T-thank you." Jun's face flushed as she cut the cake to give a slice to everyone. In the end everything worked out. Jun had a happy birthday and you all had a Merry Christmas.

(Happy Holidays from me and the Mine cast! I hope you all had a good Christmas/ Diwali/ Kwanzaa/ Hanukkah/ Yule/ Just a good day!! :3)

[geekthefreakout]

The GaaNaru Letters (part 1 of ?)

AN: this might not be anything, but its been floating in my head. It's a tumblr post instead of going on Ao3 because it's lower commitment rn.

Dear Gaara,

Heh, it's weird calling you dear when we only kinda know each other. But Iruka-sensei said that's how letters are supposed to start. This is my first time writing to someone else- all my friends are in my village! Anyway, I just wanted to see how you are after that asswhooping I gave you! That's not me bragging, by the way. It's just. You seemed lonely. Like I told you back then, I know what that pain is like. I guess I want to help you with it. And I think you and me have something else in common, too. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, everyone knows that the Sand village only attacked the Leaf because Orochimaru-bastard was manipulating you, so I don't think we have to be enemies anymore. That snakey bastard killed the Third Hokage, but I heard he killed your Hokage too? I hope you get this and write back, maybe?

Love From, Uzumaki Naruto

Uzumaki Naruto,

I have been informed that honorifics are not required at the beginning of letters if one does not wish to include them. Unless this is one of the cultural differences between the Leaf and the Sand, you should not feel obliged to use "dear" for me. This is also my first time writing a letter to someone. I am not sure what to say, but I will answer your questions.

I think I do know what you mean, if you are referring to that red chakra that you summoned. Do you have a monster within you as well? It is difficult to imagine.

Orochimaru did indeed kill our kage, though the Sand Village has a Kazekage, rather than Hokage. Rather than in a great battle such as befell your leader, the Kazekage seems to have been murdered on the sly. That man was my father. I am told that most children mourn their fathers. I have not mourned anyone since Yas I was small, and I see no need to change that. Perhaps if my father did not try to assassinate me so often, I would feel differently. At any rate, my siblings are too afraid of me to press the issue.

You, however, are not afraid of me. Despite the damage I wrought on your friends and your village, you are still reaching out. I find myself wondering why? Perhaps we are not actively enemies, but we are not allies either. What use am I to you? Why should it matter to you that I am lonely?

Why did you weep for me, Uzumaki Naruto?

From,

Gaara of the Desert

Dear Gaara,

I already said- I know what your kind of loneliness is like, and I want to help! It's not some big complicated thing. You don't have to have a use to me, you know? Except maybe to talk about stuff.

Like the monster thing. This is kind of a secret so I probably shouldn't confirm or deny that I have a giant demon fox sealed inside me, but I want to tell you. I've never met anyone like me before, you know? Even if yours is different, with the sand and the crazy laughing and all. Mine doesn't laugh, he's just mean and grumpy and scary. When did you first know about yours? Have you always been able to use its power?

I'm sorry about your dad. Not that he's dead, but that he was an asshole! And I guess that he's dead too. I can see how that would be complicated. Did he try to kill you because of your demon? It's not how I would do things. I don't know who my parents are, or were, but I hope they wouldn't do that to me. I think parents are supposed to support their kids no matter what!

I guess it makes sense for your siblings to be scared of you when you do scary things, but I heard you apologize to them back then. So if you're trying to do better by them, they should give you a chance!

I'm going on a journey with Pervy Sage soon to look for our next Hokage-- whoever it is better meet my approval, because I'll be the next Hokage after that, believe it! And I want to get the job from someone awesome. Anyway, if I'm not in the village I'm not sure how to get mail so if I don't reply for a while it's cuz I'm out there being awesome!

Also- didn't forget what you did. You tried to hurt my friends, and that's not okay. But I kicked your ass about it already, so as far as I'm concerned it's all settled. So don't keep thinking there's something bad between us!

Sincerely (This is a new sign off I learned. It's nicer than From!), Uzumaki Naruto

PS: Iruka-sensei said you're right about the "dear" thing, but your name looked kinda naked if I didn't write it, so I'm gonna keep using it, OK?

Uzumaki Naruto,

Your answers leave me with more questions, but I will continue asking them as long as you are amenable.

My demon is the One-tail, Shukaku. He does laugh a lot, though it is not a pleasant sound. I have always known about him, for his voice has always been in the back of my mind. Furthermore, I was told outright when I had a strong enough grasp of language. Your question implies that you have not always known about yours. You called it a demon fox- could it be the Nine-tails? Is he truly so quiet that you could be unaware of him? As for tapping into Shukaku's abitilities, that has not always been conscious on my part. He is often eager to emerge and inflict is insanity upon others, so if I fall asleep he will take over on his own.

Needless to say, I am seldom allowed to sleep.

Shukaku is one reason my father tried to kill me. The other is that I killed my mother the day I was born. My existence has always been fueled by blood. I am not sure if I can change that. Can my siblings be blamed for resenting me?

Are genin often involved in the selection of political figures in the Leaf? Perhaps that is more efficient. In the Sand, it seems that the council just sits and talks in circles. My team's sensei, Baki, has taken a leadership position there, but has not assumed the title of Kazekage. I assume it is because the council wants him free to keep an eye on me. They are not sure what I will do. I am not sure either. For now, I have tried to appease them with silence. I do not wander at night, and I have not hurt anybody since our return from the Leaf. I have kept to myself. I can't say if it is doing any good. Temari and Kankuro speak gently to me, but I see the fear in their eyes if I move unexpectedly.

You keep saying that you "kicked my ass." No one has ever done that before. Yet I seem to recall you being unable to move at the end as well. Did I "kick your ass" too?

It is interesting that you view our fight as an instrument of peace between us two. Perhaps if I let Kankuro hit me, he will stop jumping whenever I speak.

I like your new sign off, so I will use it.

Sincerely,

Gaara of the Desert

TBC, possibly

PART 2

[ginjithewanderer]

IDOLiSH7 Song Translation - Insomnia - ŹOOĻ

Commissioned by XOXOStrawberrie on Twitter! Thank you so much!

Kanji lyrics from the IDOLiSH7 wiki Translation under the cut

Kanji

Yeah Uh...

眠れないやじゃないや How shall I do it? こんな暗夜 巡り巡ってる回想シーン 同じ科白の繰り返し 心とは裏腹な行動ばかりの It’s me 笑い飛ばすように 迷ってる手 繋いだ冬の日

Lonely times 孤独は とっくに慣れてた筈なのに I lost you お前の 欠片を探してしまう

I know... わかってるつもりだ You need... いつもの威勢は影もなく壁だらけ 届かない想いを叫んでいるだけ I love... その先を言えずに You leave... 悲しそうに潤む瞳がそう今もなお 離れない離れない離せないよ交互に飲むココア 気持ちまであたためてくれたね ポケットの中 優しくて ずっと守ろうって強く握りしめた

がんじがらめの日々に Perplex 変わってくのが怖い Complex 壊そうとして想像の果て 首を横に振っていた

Holy times 明日が 訪れなきゃいいのに だって Hide me このまま 底に堕ちてくのも構わない

I know... 気がふれそうなくらい You need... 大切だったと風もなく枯れきった 荒野で独りで凍えているだけ I love... すり抜けてくように You leave... 駆け寄って抱きしめられたなら If it can be done 離れない離れない離さないよ

終わらない Insomnia 終わって欲しくない 眠りについたら思い出さえ ぼやけてしまうI know... わかってるつもりだ You need... いつもの威勢は影もなく壁だらけ 届かない想いを叫んでいるだけ I love... その先を言えずに You leave... 悲しそうに潤む瞳がそう今もなお 離れない離れない離せないよ

Romaji:

Yeah Uh...

Nemurenai ya janai ya How shall I do it? Konna an'ya Meguri megutteru kaisou SHIIN Onaji serifu no kurikaeshi Kokoro to wa uraharana koudou bakari no It's me Waraitobasu you ni Mayotteru te tsunaida fuyu no hi

Lonely times kodoku wa Tokku ni nareteta hazu nanoni I lost you omae no Kakera o sagashite shimau

I know... wakatteru tsumorida You need... itsumo no isei wa kage mo naku kabedarake Todokanai omoi o sakende iru dake I love... sono saki o iezu ni You leave... kanashisou ni urumu hitomi ga sou ima mo nao Hanarenai hanarenai hanasenai yoKougo ni nomu kokoa Kimochi made atatamete kureta ne Poketto no naka yasashikute Zutto mamorou tte tsuyoku nigirishimeta

Ganjigarame no hibi ni Perplex Kawatteku no ga kowai Complex Kowasou toshite souzou no hate Kubi o yoko ni futte ita

Holy times ashita ga Otozurenakya ii no ni datte Hide me kono mama Soko ni ochite ku no mo kamawanai

I know... ki ga furesou na kurai You need... taisetsudatta to kaze mo naku karekitta Kouya de hitori de kogoete iru dake I love... surinuketeku you ni You leave... kakeyotte dakishimerareta nara If it can be done Hanarenai hanarenai hanasanai yo

Owaranai Insomnia Owatte hoshikunai Nemuri ni tsuitara omoide sae Boyakete shimauI know... wakatteru tsumorida You need... itsumo no isei wa kage mo naku kabedarake Todokanai omoi o sakende iru dake I love... sono saki o iezu ni You leave... kanashisou ni urumu hitomi ga sou ima mo nao Hanarenai hanarenai hanasenai yo

Translation:

Yeah Uh...

I can't sleep, I just can't How shall I do it? On such a dark night Flashbacks keep playing in my mind The same lines, over and over It's me, always acting contrary to my heart Trying to laugh it off That winter day, my smitten hand held yours

Lonely times, this loneliness Should be second nature to me, but I lost you, I'm searching For fragments of you

I know...I think I know You need...My usual strength is gone, only walls remain I'm just shouting thoughts that won't reach you I love...I don't need to say any more You leave...Yeah, even now, your sad, teary eyes They won't leave, they won't leave, I can't get them out of my head

Taking turns drinking cocoa It warmed us up right down to our feelings Tenderly, inside your pocket I held on tightly, wanting to protect you forever

Perplexed by these restricted days Complexed, scared that it will change Reaching the limits of my imagination trying to destroy it I shook my head from side to side

Holy times, even if Tomorrow doesn't come, it's okay, so Hide me, I don't care Even if I sink to the bottom like this

I know...It's driving me crazy You need...It was important, but it disappeared without a trace I'm freezing, all alone in the wilderness I love...So I can make my way through it You leave...If I could run up and hug you, if it can be done I won't leave, I won't leave, I won't let go

Neverending Insomnia I don't want it to end When I fall asleep, my memories Will fadeI know...I think I know You need...My usual strength is gone, only walls remain I'm just shouting thoughts that won't reach you I love...I don't need to say any more You leave...Yeah, even now, your sad, teary eyes They won't leave, they won't leave, I can't get them out of my head

[electrasev5nwrites]

Ninja Daily: Vapors 54

Tsunade wiggled her feet between the couch cushions in an attempt to get comfortable. Her toes felt like blocks of ice. No amount of adjusting for comfort could put off the upcoming conversation for long, however. Besides, she was already much more comfortable than usual and consequently in a good mood. With Shizune out of town, there was no one to aim big mournful eyes that made Tsunade feel guilty for relocating to her front room to work instead of her office. She was sick of the office.

She had already given the different ways this dialogue could go considerable thought while her ANBU guard had resentfully plodded off to fetch her guest. It probably wouldn't be a particularly enjoyable conversation. But since she was already busy working on rearranging her most loyal pieces, it made sense to get this done and out of the way now.

To that end, she'd picked out her rhetorical strategy and decided to keep this brief. It was best to get to the point and only subtly move the conversation in the direction she wanted without actually attempting to persuade her target. Independent personality types didn't react well to being obviously herded.

That was fine, to be honest. She could see multiple directions for this shinobi to choose from, and how Tsunade stood to gain from all of them. Of course, she did have one she thought was more likely…

"Aiko, have you thought about your Jounin examinations?"

The question threw Aiko for a bit of a loop. It took a moment to recalibrate. To buy time, she asked, "Hokage-sama?" and just hoped that clarification would be upcoming.

Instead of replying, Tsunade offered her a platter of circular tan cookies. She took it awkwardly and suddenly wondered how many it was appropriate and polite to take. She'd never been invited into a Kage's home before. The bizarrely informal atmosphere was actually making her highly uncomfortable.

The older woman undoubtedly knew that.

Aiko settled for two cookies and gratefully slid the platter down onto the glass table between the two of them like a protective shield. The entire time, amber eyes were watching her closely as if waiting for something. She shifted uncomfortably and wished she could stand.

"I'm not in the business of having A and S class Chuunin," Tsunade pointed out dryly. "You're well on your way to that range by dint of the Hiraishin alone."

"I can't be," Aiko said, honestly bewildered. "Kakashi and Yamato bat me around like a cat toy."

"Oh, boo hoo." Tsunade rolled her eyes with a mischievous smile. "You mean that two of the best shinobi to ever come out of the ANBU program are still stronger than you? Oh well, I suppose I should just demote you back down to genin status." She flashed white, white teeth in a charmingly lopsided grin. It seemed sincere, for some reason. "Please tell me you hear how ridiculous you just sounded. I wouldn't pit most of my experienced Jounin against those two. I don't think you understand just what kind of career you were slated for when you were handed off to Hatake as a student."

She could feel heat rise in her cheeks. 'Okay, that was a little naïve,' she allowed. In lieu of verbal reply, she bent her head to let her loose hair slide forward in a reddish wave that hid her face.

Tsunade actually giggled. "I'll take that as a yes. Drink your tea, it's getting cold. And you'd better enjoy those cookies. They were painstakingly baked by Shizune."

Aiko eyed them uncertainly. Shizune-san had never seemed like much of a cook to her, but she wasn't going to say that. It was a pretty rude thing to think about such a nice lady, and one she really didn't even know on a personal level. Judgments like that were wrong all the time. Carefully she took a delicate bite—and struggled to maintain a straight face.

"Yes, they're awful," Tsunade allowed. "But if I throw them all away…" She trailed off and waved a hand irritably. "I find the tea helps. If that's not strong enough, I have this too." Long, pale fingers retrieved a narrow, colored bottle hidden down the front of her shirt. Aiko raised her eyebrows, downright impressed. She'd had no idea that was there, and it wasn't like Tsunade's cleavage was ever truly unobserved. It was like being in a room with a sleeping tiger: even if you weren't consciously thinking about it, you were making sure it didn't move too much.

Wordlessly, Aiko drained half her tea and held the cup out for Tsunade to pour a little alcohol in. She instead poured in a lot and then they exchanged the bottle so that Aiko could pour some for the Hokage. It was rude to pour your own drink, after all.

And those cookies tasted suspiciously like medicine underneath all the sugar.

"What do you know about how Chuunin become Jounin?"

The question was simple enough. So was her answer. "I don't really know anything," Aiko answered honestly. 'I suppose you get promoted when someone notices that you've advanced skill-wise? It can't be normal for the Hokage to do individual counseling meetings like this…' That was vague enough that she was sure it wasn't what Tsunade was looking for. Better to admit ignorance than try to bullshit the Hokage.

It must have been the right decision, because red-painted lips curved into a faint smile over a blue and white china cup.

"A more intelligent answer than one would think. Most don't know, because Jounin promotions are as much about politics as they are about reflecting skill levels. Sometimes that takes the form of promoting shinobi who had skill sets we desperately need at higher clearance, and sometimes it means keeping otherwise qualified shinobi out of the public eye where they can't make too much trouble."

"So… are you saying that there's some vacant space on a roster that you need me to fill?" That made some sense… but Tsunade shook her head.

"Not precisely. There isn't any one particular role I've slotted you for. You're going to be going to a personality and aptitude evaluation first, at which point you will be further counseled on your options. Unless of course you already have a preference, in which case we can skip directly to evaluating your aptitude for that position." She frowned slightly and lifted a shoulder to acknowledge, "I cannot force you to accept a promotion, but I can promise that this is not an attempt to break up your team. You will likely still be placed with team Kakashi on missions where your skill sets align, after an introductory training period into your new niche."

The next words were delicately phrased, but her eyes bored into Aiko as if they could see straight into her soul. "You would be with that team much more often, of course, if you were to take a path that would lessen the gap between your mutual experiences and training."

It didn't take a genius to figure that one out. Only a minute ago Tsunade had credited ANBU training for Kakashi and Yamato's advanced skills to some extent. She was being told to aim for ANBU. But why not tell her directly?

Tsunade's face was devoid of any hints.

Aiko swallowed, mind working furiously. 'I can't avoid promotion forever,' she noted. 'And… and I need to get stronger. Will ANBU do that for me?' Doubtlessly, Naruto had far surpassed her by now, even with her headstart. She didn't know much about what other Jounin did—they could be teachers, she knew, but wasn't she too young for that? Jounin led teams of Chuunin in various specialties, but she didn't want that path. It would put more pressure than she wanted on her and take her too far away from her team. No, she was fine being a subordinate.

When shit started to go very wrong in less than a year, would she be trusted to accompany Team Kakashi? She hadn't been exaggerating about the gulf between her and Yamato, even though they shared similarly powerful bloodline abilities. She wasn't sturdy enough to take the kind of hits Naruto did, and she certainly didn't have Kakashi's skill.

She really didn't know the answer, and she could only think of one basis for comparison that indicated she was skilled enough to be on the team: She was still stronger than Sasuke as a combatant. Would Tsunade trust this apprentice with those missions? Perhaps Sakura would have been more prepared than Sasuke was, or perhaps they were less desperate now than they would have been if that had happened?

Would ANBU work really change her life? Tsunade had implied that the harsh requirements often affected members. Aiko thought she could handle almost anything... but she didn't really know that much about what ANBU did. No one knew. She would be going in partially blind. That was terrifying.

The uncertainties welling up, she took too long to respond.

"Yes?" Tsunade prompted, mild irritation in her tone. "Do you need more time to think?"

Her heart was beating a harsh staccato against her ribs.

Yes. She needed more time to think. This wasn't a decision she could make on such short notice.

"No," Aiko found herself saying impulsively. "I want to accept a promotion and apply for a position in the ANBU unit, Hokage-sama. What do I need to do?"

"Leave it all to me." Tsunade idly dunked a cookie in her spiked tea and spun it around to make a current. "All that you need to do is report to the blue-roofed office building on the intersection of fifth and Inu tomorrow morning by four am. Tell the secretary that you have an appointment with special evaluations."

"Hai, Hokage-sama," she muttered hollowly, committing the details to memory. That was terribly early, but a full hour after the bars closed so the streets should have been cleared of those stragglers. It was probably arranged so that as few people as possible saw applicants like her entering the building. She'd never noticed a building like that before. Genjutsu? Possibly. Or it might just be nondescript.

A thought occurred. "W-will my team know?"

Tsunade snorted. "If they pull their heads from their posteriors and pay attention," she allowed. "Officially, you are not allowed to inform anyone outside of ANBU headquarters, but it is strongly discouraged to share your identity with anyone but your actual ANBU team. You might want to get a wig, by the way." She pointed absently at Aiko's reddish-orange mop of wavy locks. "In practice, I would follow most of that advice, except you can feel free to tell your team members in ANBU of your appointment, as well as one outside individual who will be your psychological contact. They will be expected to keep an eye on your mental state, as the added stress of ANBU work sometimes bothers people more than regular work."

Aiko felt a little green.

"I don't anticipate that being a problem with you, however," she allowed generously. "Your current profile indicates that you're about as stable as expected, with healthy compartmentalization techniques."

'Only a ninja would say something like that,' she thought vaguely. She cleared her throat, fingers tugging unconsciously at her hair. It grew fast and was long now—almost to the thinnest part of her waist. "A wig, Hokage-sama?" She had no idea where to get one of those.

Tsunade gave a restrained huff. "I would recommend as far from your natural coloring and current cut as possible," she pointed out, examining the girl in front of her. The wickedly amused expression in her eyes reminded Aiko startlingly of Naruto. "Either a plain black or something really…. Wild," she drew out teasingly. "How do you look in blue?"

Aiko was surprised into a giggle. She hadn't even considered that—her concern had been on actually acquiring a wig, but she had sort of thought that it would make sense to get something completely non-distinct. But it was true that the purpose of that sort of disguise wouldn't necessarily be to make her inconspicuous. Everyone looked at ANBU when they walked down a street, so she couldn't hope to hide among civilians or anything. It was just that they couldn't look at her and recognize that the girl in the mask had to be Aiko.

"Blue is fine," she managed, not entirely certain as to whether or not her Hokage was joking. It wasn't like she particularly cared one way or another, so why the hell not.

"Excellent." Tsunade snickered. "I'll present it to you tomorrow after your evaluation. Assuming you meet requirements for entrance, of course," she quickly qualified. "If you don't, we'll find another position for you."

By seven the next morning, Tsunade was parsing through the freshly stamped report on her desk with a smug expression. A series of spars and demonstrations, a short counseling session, word-association tests, and other devices had painted a clear picture for her that aligned well with Tsunade's own suspicions.

The girl was good. Tsunade had expected that skill-wise, of course, but she was also functionally stable and looked to be highly reliable. Agents that relied heavily on human interaction to detoxify after stress often suffered in ANBU when they couldn't discuss their duties, but Aiko was a recluse by nature. However, unlike many of those reclusive characters, she did a fairly good job of faking social interest when needed, a potentially valuable skill.

When her personality profile was added to her natural intelligence and sturdy ties to the village center, Aiko was as strong a candidate as Tsunade could have hoped for. Kakashi wouldn't be pleased, of course, but a month of heavy conditioning would easily mold her into an ANBU operative… one who Tsunade could trust without a doubt to be unaffiliated with Danzo's root. How much easier would it be to start picking at oddities with an extra set of ears directly in the small but crucial organization, especially when that operative was a paranoid little genius trained by Hatake Kakashi? She would be informed of her constant secondary mission soon, after Tsunade had managed to hunt her down a role in the roster.

Although the answer seemed obvious, she didn't really need another tracker right now. She had four Inuzuka alone in the ranks—there were plenty of experienced shinobi who were much less capable of transitioning to another role. Tsunade flipped through her options contemplatively, holding up a hand to silence Shizune. The girl obediently backed out of the office and quietly shut the door, recognizing that her mentor was thinking.

Infiltration was a possibility that Aiko in particular could excel at. Her characteristic emotional detachment would make it much harder for her to succumb to the typical foibles of shinobi stranded alone in enemy territory for extended periods…. But it wouldn't help Tsunade with her Root problem. No, that wouldn't do at all. She needed to be able to interact frequently with other operatives.

Front-line combat squad assignment would have fulfilled that criteria, but she took the option off the table immediately. She didn't actually want to endanger Aiko more than necessary, and not just because Hatake would be in her office glowering (until someone lost their temper and confiscated his remaining eye to cut that shit out, at least) when he inevitably found out. No, Aiko was a bit young for that sort of general assignment when it wasn't absolutely critical. Perhaps she could take those missions on an individual basis as a consultant, but not regularly, not now. One of the things that Tsunade most wanted to change about her village was the low life expectancy rate for shinobi, and one of the most efficient ways to get people killed was to send them out in high-pressure situations early and often.

'Well, what's the safest assignment available within the most dangerous role in the village hierarchy?' Her lips twisted into an ironic little smile. 'Why, guarding the Hokage and the village itself, of course. She would interact with multiple groups… and it would also keep her conveniently close to obscure her new posting.'

She didn't have to help the girl obscure her ANBU promotion, of course, but when the opportunity to make her life a little easier just dropped in her lap Tsunade didn't see a reason not to take it.

It was decided then. Aiko's first assignment would be split between guarding her personal office (a bit of a necessary joke, as Tsunade could damn well guard herself. The average threats were papercuts and restlessness, and no amount of ANBU could prevent that) and patrolling the village as the Uchiha police force had used to do every so often. The second posting would allow her to interact with her ANBU peers, and the first would give Tsunade ample opportunity to covertly communicate and prepare the girl for her possible future role in the upper echelons of intelligence work.

It was best not to have all her eggs in one basket, after all. She damn well intended to retire in a few years, and she had not one but three young people who were visibly well on their way to being Kage level shinobi (two of whom were a previous Kage's child and the other was her adorable student and one of the last scions of a founding clan. The potential postings even made sense in the tradition of leadership roles being inherited). It would be stupid to ignore preparing one, especially since the three were close enough that the two who didn't get the hat would probably be their Kage's closest advisors. Promotions gave them credibility, prestige, and visibility that they would desperately need.

Aiko felt dazed walking home. It was early morning, but she had already been physically taxed. The intellectual requirements of preliminary ANBU qualifications had been a breeze, at least, but she had too many other things on her mind to feel relaxed.

She'd promised herself that if she passed, she wouldn't put off talking to Kakashi this time. Their last argument (minor in the grand scheme of things) had been eclipsed by the subsequent lack of communication and festered stupidly. This situation was probably similar. She knew that he would have to respect her decision, but she still didn't want to address it. She didn't try to fool herself, however: trying to hide it from him would both be ineffective and damaging to their repaired but still slightly fragile dynamic.

'I should probably find him before the end of the day,' Aiko decided. 'I don't want to be immature and avoid things that make me uncomfortable. If I'm old enough for ANBU work, I'm old enough to talk to people I like about uncomfortable things without my arm being twisted.'

"Hey, Aiko!"

Speak of the devil.

No, not Kakashi. God only knows that he was never that perky. It was the other elephant in the room she was avoiding.

'Well, I can't very well make a new resolution that only applies to one person,' Aiko sighed, and put on a game face.

"Hi, Tenten. How are you?"

The other girl came to a stop, adjusting the weight of the pack on her back and waving her team on. Neji gave her a dirty look, but didn't bother to protest. "I'm fine," she allowed. A flicker of uncertainly crossed her face, inexpertly covered by a placating smile. "I meant to talk to you earlier—you kind of ran off in the hurry the last time I saw you."

'Oh hell,' Aiko cursed. That had probably been confusing for poor Tenten. "Yeah, I did," she admitted. "It was rude of me. To be honest, I was feeling really overwhelmed by all the noise and activity and socialization, and I tend to retreat when I'm uncomfortable."

Tenten grimaced. "I thought it was something like that." She sighed, resting a hand on her hip before seeming to realize they were standing in the street. Aiko noticed her discomfort and jerked her head to indicate they should start walking. As they fell into step, Tenten fidgeted a little. "You know, I wouldn't think that was such a big deal, except that you didn't say anything to me for what… a month and a half?" She frowned. "And I had to be the one to track you down," Tenten added, a little defensively. "That wasn't fair, you know."

Aiko swallowed, unconsciously tapping her fingers against her thigh in a pattern that spelled out 'need non-combat help'. Tenten didn't seem to notice, but a thin man to her left with a sleek ponytail glanced over in alarm, noted that she was just in an uncomfortable conversation, and gave an unsympathetic snort before hastily taking off as if to avoid the awkwardness.

She was a bit envious, once she caught herself frantically repeating the pattern and forced her fingers to stop. It wasn't a conversation she should run from.

"You're absolutely right."

May as well admit it. They were both well-aware.

"I was out of the village for almost all of that time, but that's just an excuse and not a reason. I ran into a situation that made me uncomfortable and intentionally avoided getting in a similar one." (Aiko was avoidant, not unaware of her own actions.)

Tenten gave a rueful smile. "You know, you're making it hard to be mad at you when you're so factual and self-aware. I had a whole speech planned out."

Aiko chewed at the inside of her cheek, feeling awkward. When her companion made to speak, she slouched her shoulders in a little defensively. She already knew she'd messed up, and was pretty sure what was coming. She even knew she deserved it, and wasn't particularly heartbroken. That still didn't mean she wanted to hear it.

"I think I deserve someone who isn't going to do that to me," Tenten pointed out delicately. "I think we're done, whatever we were in the first place. Still…" she glanced at Aiko shyly. "Friends? I think we should start over."

The offer to be friends was probably just a way for Tenten to feel better about sort-of-dumping her sort-of-girlfriend. It smoothed over hurt egos, and allowed her mental image of herself as a nice girl not to change. Otherwise, it sort of seemed like they'd had a makeout one-night-stand. Tenten seemed like the kind of person who thought that 'nice girls' didn't do things like that. Aiko fundamentally disagreed—definitions like that were stupid and restrictive.

Aiko saw right through it, but she didn't mind indulging the maneuver. "Yeah." She gave a fake smile. Unlike Sai's inept attempts, her fake smiles reached her eyes. Tenten looked relieved at it. "Friends."

When they parted ways, it was spectacularly awkward, but at least it was over. Aiko gave a deep sigh of relief. At least it was settled. 'And hey, my talk with Kakashi can't really get worse than that clusterfuck of awkward,' she pointed out to herself. 'He can hardly dump me.' Her shishou was a bit protective, but even he had to know she couldn't avoid specialization and outside assignments forever. Granted, the change was probably going to be more sudden than he'd approve of, but he had been loosening the reins lately. Considering his precise, controlling personality, any effort in that regard was significant.

Despite her resolve, she didn't actually find Kakashi until the next day when she half-heartedly waited outside the clearing where he was sitting cross-legged in front of the memorial stone. Aiko didn't want to take advantage of the trust he'd placed in her with the Hiraishin to track him down unless it was something critical—flashing into the middle of his home (where she had never been) in order to tell him that she was signed up for ANBU training would definitely be a violation of his comfort zone.

"You can come out, you know."

'I guess that's an invitation.' Aiko slowly walked over, crossing her arms into her torso and slightly regretting not checking the forecast. She really had no tolerance for cold. It would have been a good day for a scarf and that hideous but snuggly Chuunin vest.

Kakashi deigned to look up at her and clearly noted her discomfort, though apparently not the source. A hint of dark amusement flashed in his eye. "I don't bite."

Well, okay. That was a partially accurate assessment of her unease.

"I know." She flopped down to the ground next to him, letting their legs brush to leech some of his body heat. (That was a valid survival strategy, she was sure. As well as a convenient distraction). He allowed the contact, though he seemed a bit uncomfortable with it, quickly glancing away after he looked at her.

That was new. He'd gotten used to letting her hang off of him. Apparently her recent distance had registered.

Made sense. He wasn't a man who missed much.

"I talked to Tsunade day before yesterday." He hmmed, a familiar signal for her to continue. "She told me to apply for ANBU." She indulged in a quick check of his features. He didn't appear to have reacted. "I accepted. I thought I should tell you."

"I see."

Oh no. The stiff tone made her wince.

"What exactly will you be doing?"

She wrapped her arms around her knees and stared down as if her toes were fascinating. "In-village positions on guard rosters, mostly."

'Just that and spying on an internal traitorous organization, but I can't tell you that. Not worrying at all, shishou.'

Then she dared a cringing look back to find out he was watching her steadily. It was a bit unnerving. Aiko swallowed, hard, pulse jumping. She did so desperately want for him not to be upset with her. "I'm not like, leaving the team," she explained in a rush of words, just wanting to make him stop focusing all that intensity on her. "She says that if I get the training, I can-"

"You don't have to explain yourself to me." His tone was fond, but tinged with sadness. "You can't stay with your genin sensei forever. That's not how pack works."

"Pack?" she asked awkwardly.

"Pack," he confirmed, leaning back on his hands and looking up. "Puppies grow up. I'm not so forgetful that I don't remember that."

[akira-blossom]

Lineage Photo

“A lineage photo!”

Hiruzen takes a drag of his pipe. As he holds the smoke in his lungs, he studies the disgruntled faces of his old students. Jiraiya is the most expressive (as always); his mouth is open wide in horror and eyes pulled downward in dismay. Tsunade is not far behind. She is frowning heavily and has her arms crossed tightly beneath her breasts. Even Orochimaru is failing to hide all his displeasure. There is a small furrow between his brows and a rigidness to his shoulders that speaks volumes to Hiruzen.

He can’t say he disagrees with them either. The idea does feel like a waste of time. He’s the Hokage and has more than enough to do as it is. Orochimaru and Tsunade, both new teachers, also have full plates at the moment. Jiraiya also has his own work he needs to do as well.

Releasing the smoke in his lungs through his nose, he nods. “Yes,” he replies. “I know it seems frivolous but it was something most of the Council agreed was a good idea.” He sighs and looks away from his team. “As does Biwako,” he grumbles. It’s for her he is committing to this. She’s the one who pointed out that even being able to do such a thing is a rarity — and not just for him, but for any shinobi who was a teacher. Losing students, like brothers in arms, like parents, siblings, and children, is par the course. The fact all of his are whole and hale with students of their own is something to commemorate.

Biwako would also like a copy for their living room wall but he’s not going to mention that part to his old students.

“Was this her idea?” Tsunade asks.

He shrugs. “Who knows?” he says. “She tells me I should be jumping to do this. Imagine what other villages will think when they see a photo of me surrounded by my legendary students and their own students?” He shakes his head. “How many other Kages, no, shinobi, can take such a photo?”

Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru shift and shuffle, even exchange glances, but say nothing. Can’t say anything. They know Hiruzen has a point.

“Anyway, it’s schedule for early next week Tuesday. Please inform your students and bring them to my office. I have it scheduled for 0800 sharp.”

Jiraiya groans as Tsunade and Orochimaru sigh together. Tapping the ashes out of his pipe, Hiruzen ignores their childish behavior. When done, he warns, “I expect you all to behave.”

“Yes, sir,” the trio agree in reluctant unison.

[windfighter]

Cheating Destiny

Prompt: Guilt | ”I’m so sorry.”

----

Shizuka pulled her fingers through Yin’s mane. Rinsed it for the fifth time. Getting all the blood out was hard. Yin shook his head and neighed at her and she scritched him behind the ear.

”I know, I know. I’m taking too long”, she whispered. ”Thank you for being patient.”

He put his head on her shoulder with a sigh, scratched the ground with his hoof.

”I know”, Shizuka repeated, ”but I can’t let you out covered in blood. Imagine if anyone saw you.”

Steps echoed behind her. Yin lifted his head and Shizuka pulled the comb through his mane again.

”Hey”, Kuro’s voice said behind her.

Butterflies in Shizuka’s stomach. She hated that Kuro made her feel that way. It wasn’t right. She pulled the comb through Yin’s hair. It got stuck on a lump of blood she had somehow managed to miss.

”Are you okay?” Kuro asked and took a step closer.

Shizuka nodded, dried her hands on her shirt and pulled her ponytail tighter. Swallowed.

”Caleb healed us, we’re fine.”

Kuro put a hand on her shoulder and she turned around. Looked at him. His eyes were sad, a deep sadness she knew she couldn’t help. Did her own eyes have the same sadness? The same longing? Did he also carry the feeling that their mission would fail because they disobeyed the prophecies? Kuro looked away.

”I wish we didn’t need to send you away…”

Shizuka pulled her fingers through Kuro’s black hair, parted his white forelocks and kissed his forehead. Electricity travelled through her body.

”It’s not your fault”, she said.

She wished they could be together. Like they were destined to. Like Shite and Kage. Kuro laughed and leaned his forehead against Shizuka’s.

”We’re the protectors”, he said. ”Your protectors.”

”But we are the worlds’ protectors”, Shizuka answered.

”I’m so sorry.”

Kuro looked sorry, sounded sorry. Shizuka didn’t think he had anything to be sorry about. They were all alive. Battered, bruised and battle-hardened, but alive.

”I wish there was another way”, he whispered.

”Maybe in the next life.”

Every time they hoped for the next life. Hoped that next time the worlds would be balanced. That the Creator wouldn’t become the Destroyer. That they could just live and not fight. Shizuka kissed him, desperately, despite knowing it could mean the end to her relationship. Maybe she was looking for that. Kuro returned the kiss, but was the first to pull away, break it. Shizuka looked away.

”I shouldn’t have.”

”We should have been”, Kuro said.

”We’re trying something different this time”, Shizuka replied.

Two Riders together instead of every Rider with an Angel. Shizuka caressed Kuro’s cheek.

”You’ll always be my angel.”

Kuro laughed.

”By the name of the Creator, that sounds so cheesy.”

Shizuka also laughed. Shook her head and turned back to Yin, who was trying to bite off the rope tying him to the box. She put her hands to her sides and stared at him. Kuro’s arms wrapped around her.

”I hate that we need to send you out there to fight”, he whispered, ”but I’m still glad it’s you. Someone I trust. Someone I know can fight and return.”

His black and white wings wrapped around the two of them. Hid them from the world.

”Get done in here and then we’ll get down to business.”

Shizuka laughed, pulled away.

”You make it sound so weird. Go prepare for sparring, I’ll be there in ten.”

His wings disappeared again and he bowed.

”As you wish, my Rider.”

”Fucking Creator”, Shizuka’s cheeks burned and she buried her head in her hands. ”Get away before I kill you myself.”

Kuro laughed. His steps disappeared out of the stable and Shizuka returned to work. Yin was still while she rinsed the blood out of his mane, returning it to its normal white color. She untied him from the box and he walked out of it, walked into the field. Shizuka shook her head. She’d have to clean mud off him later, but for now she had different matters to attend to. Her sword appeared in her hand and she left the stable to find Kuro.

[aishiterusaezuru]

The Exception and the Exceptional :  A Look at Similarities Between Doumeki and Yashiro

I recently got a chance to rewatch the Saezuru film, The Clouds Gather, again (for the innumerable time) something new clicked about our guys. I realized there are a great many ways that D and Y’s personalities & actions converge. Yoneda Sensei is a master at foils, but she doesn’t smack us over the head with the ways she interweaves them. It was kind of a surprise how these snuck up on me.

Here is my humble list:

- Both are incredibly hard workers even in distasteful situations that don’t or shouldn’t directly involve them.

Yashiro has amassed so much capital for the Shinsekai and his own personal fortune not just by wits, but by putting in the time. He understands the real importance of money in the group structure. Doumeki forged a unassailable rep with the Sakura group after being suspiciously brought there by Amou under dubious circumstances in the eyes of Tsunakawa.

- Both entered Yakuza for the person they desperately love(d) or their first love.

Yashiro entered for Kage Sensei  and there was a desperation for how Yashiro clung to his affection for Kageyama - like a link to the NON-Yakuza world he couldn’t truly be a part of. Misumi even references that K and Y friendship years later in a thinly veiled threat / reality check for Yashiro. As is Misumi is saying “that world is not for you - you should cut ties”.  Even though Yashiro’s love / affection for Kage is wrapped in so many other layers, it’s still such a powerful motivator that Yashiro sacrificed his life to the Yakuza to protect Kage in part. Yashiro also didn’t think he had options for his future and little self-worth.

Doumeki  entered because if “someone was as beautiful as Yashiro was in the Yakuza, that world couldn’t be all bad.” - approximate Doumeki quote. Then D truly enters and pursues the Sakura sake cup to remain in that beautiful Y world. I feel you D. I’m also not sure how much of a choice Doumeki felt he had in leaving the Yakuza or more importantly a world that connected him to Y after falling for Yashiro so hard.

Neither had an easy path here.

- Both of their intense loved ones pushed back against their affections on the basis of preconceived notions.

Kageyama having a very inaccurate  and somewhat persistent understanding of Yashiro starting from high school ; Yashiro keeps thinking that Doumeki has a choice and could just walk away from Y given or forced into that choice. That’s not how emotions work Y.

-Both are considered pretty dang hot, but neither rests solely or even chiefly on their sex appeal.

(even though Yashiro engages or uses his appearance and Doumeki usually does not in a typical way)

-Both had their futures very much affected by the sexual or other abuse of an older father or father figure.

Yashiro’s stepfather and Misumi as his yakuza “father”; Doumeki’s father abusing his sister not only landed him in jail and stripped him of his position as a cop, but also damaged and delayed his relationship / reconciliation with Aoi.

-Both will fuck someone up for gravely hurting the other.

(i.e. Doumeki and Inami or Half-Dead Yashiro / his rock and Hirata) I mean really - fuck. someone. up.

-Both have stood up against or even defied Misumi  within limits / bonds.

Yashiro gently refused to become Misumi lieutenant in M’s pursuit of power to replace Kaichou and resists returning to the full Yakuza-fold post time skip. Doumeki didn’t quit when he was directly working for Yashiro despite M’s aggressive urgings from the very beginning. Doumeki appeals to M after Y fake forgot him so he could stay somewhat connected to Yashiro, but gets a beating. M refuses and Amou helps D, but both Amou and Doumeki are going against Misumi’s wishes.

- Both often grossly underestimated and are belittled so other people can keep face.

Oh let us count the ways.

- Both are very shrewd and effective.

There are many reasons Misumi wants to keep Yashiro close and why Hirata and so much are threatened by Y. Doumeki is bit of an anomalous Yakuza wunderkind, so much skill and less unbridled bloodlust. He made his mark on the Shinsekai group in 3 short months even if they might not admit it. The Sakura group owes Nikki’s life to D and much more.  Y and D are both steps ahead of the pack even while being apart.

-Both are coveted in their circles but remain outsiders.

They are both treated as exceptional, sometimes alien and mostly apart. People are curious about them and can even be obsessive or loyal (Misumi, Nanahara, Kageyama, Kuga, Kamiya etc. etc. ) but most don’t risk enough to bridge the distance. Gorgeous, captivating, mysterious and unattainable to most.

-The inner worlds of both remain largely private from those who spend the most time with them.

Kageyama despite knowing Y before he joined the Yakuza hasn’t broached very deep than what Yashiro offers on the surface, but Kage still supports Y despite K’s lack of understanding.

There’s not a lot of genuine and disarming disclosure to anyone besides D to Y and Y to D. Everyone else needs to read between the lines or draw conclusions based on observations - right Nanahara and Kamiya?  

It was nice to think about how Yashiro and Doumeki occupy a lot of common ground as we often see them painted very differently. It’s also further evidence that these men exist more as equals than once thought. 

[kashi-prompts]

Rating: T

Pairing: Kakashi x Reader

Genre: Fluff. Teeth rotting fluff.

"It's stifling in here," the silver-haired Hokage managed, slipping a finger under his mask to let the air hit his face. He took a deep breath, trying to relax the gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Kakashi," Gai stood from the wooden chairs before the Hokage's desk, "relax, my friend. I've never seen you so tense."

"I'm not tense," Kakashi brushed off Gai's hard reassuring pat on the back.

"The crease between your eyes has never been so prominent," Gai poked his friend's forehead, stopping him. Kakashi sighed heavily, meeting Gai's gaze.

"I'm fine," he reassured his friend.

"Having second thoughts?" Gai nudged him.

Kakashi looked at his friend and pushed past him to walk to his desk, "no, never. Are my robes here yet?"

"Then what is it?" Guy followed him, watching him as he shuffled papers around on his desk, "We're so young; how could anything bother you on your wedding day?"

"I'm not bothered," Kakashi turned, looking at his oldest friend, giving him a reassuring promise. "Just a little nervous."

The silver-haired shinobi turned Hokage had never felt this way before. His chest swirled with tightness, and his mind raced from thought to thought. The whole village had its eyes on him and [y/n] today. Every gaze would be turned to their marriage, the Hokage and his new wife.

Gai slapped Kakashi on the back again, smiling broadly, "I'm happy for you, my old friend. You're a lucky one."

Kakashi laughed nervously, his fingers pushing the hair at the nape of his neck down. He still hadn't gotten used to the missing thicker locks that had been cut off earlier in the week. His mind traveled to his bride, dreamily manifesting the image of what she would look like walking towards him. He felt his chest tighten more, exhaling shakily.

"Your haori is ready," Yamato came through the office door, towing the Hokage's formal attire behind him carefully. Kakashi nodded, realizing the ceremony would be beginning shortly. He turned to the window behind his desk, looking down at the ceremony space designated for his wedding behind the Hokage's manor. Guests were trickling in one by one, all being greeted by Iruka, whom he had appointed.

"Perfect!" Gai exclaimed, grabbing the attire from Yamato's grasp, "let's get this party ROLLING!"

The sunlight was overbearing on his back as he made his way down the steps towards the ceremony space. His haori fit nicely, but the black, heavy material felt like two weights on his shoulders. He smiled at the guests, greeting the other Kage's respectively. Each congratulated him and encouraged him to not worry about hosting duties on his big day.

Kakashi looked around, taking in the surroundings for a moment as he adjusted his sleeves. Then, he thought of the day he asked y/n to marry him. Sitting quietly under a tree, her head had leaned against his shoulder, dozing off after their rather long walk to their favorite quiet spot on the outskirts of Konoha.

The wisteria blossoms had been in full bloom, dangling above them to create a sea of lavender-colored petals. He had taken her hand as she rested, silently and covertly slipping a ring on her finger with his shaking, cold hands. She hadn't budged at his movements, her breath shallow against the side of his neck.

"I love you," he had whispered against the shell of her ear, "and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Her eyes had fluttered open in surprise, dazed by his words. His fingers had grasped her hand gently and pulled them to his lips, kissing the tip of her ring finger with a tender, fervent gaze. When the realization had hit her, her arms had flown around him, pulling him close to her with a shower of kisses and affectionate affirmations following.

Looking back, the thought enveloped him in a warmth that wasn't from the sun casting down.

"Kakashi," Iruka called out, a smile stretched across his lips as he checked his watch, "all the guests have arrived."

"Good," Kakashi nodded, "I guess that means we're almost ready."

"Yes," Iruka smiled again eagerly. He hesitated for a moment and then leaned in, his voice just above a whisper. "It's time to go get your bride."

Kakashi looked over quickly at Iruka, his eyes glistening with excitement and nervousness. Iruka raised his eyebrows, urging the Hokage to go meet his future wife.

*****

You stood in your kimono, flattening the white fabric out nervously at your waist. Your hands felt clammy, and your heart thumped uncomfortably in your chest. Glancing at the clock, you couldn't help but think of the moments that ticked by that brought you closer to being Kakashi's wife.

Reaching up, you traced your eyelashes with the back of your finger, feeling the moisture from your eyes lying modestly between them. The emotions in your chest were overwhelming you, threatening to burst at any second. The joy consumed you as you inhaled heavily, feeling your lungs expand before letting out a shaky breath.

At one last glance, you looked at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes fluttered from the ornate flower in your hair, the rouge on your cheeks down to the bouquet you held at your waist. So this was really happening, you thought.

The sound of a gentle knock on the door caused your heart to skip into your throat. You turned, watching the handle turn quietly before opening a crack.

"[y/n]?" you heard Kakashi's hesitant yet soft voice from behind the opening.

"Yes?" you asked, unsure as to why. You had been waiting for him - for this moment when he would open the door and see you for the first time in your wedding dress. Your heart quivered in your ribcage.

"Can I come in?" he asked quietly, the smile evident in his voice.

"Yes," you replied, your voice exuding like a content sigh.

He didn't swing the door open like some men would, eager to see their bride and get down the aisle. Some men would never even think to knock, knowing full well that what was behind that door was theirs. But the Hokage was different, gentle in more ways than one, yet fiercely protective of what was his.

You hadn't realized you had been holding your breath as you watched him open the door. The sight of his slender fingers tenderly gripping the knob was all you could focus on for a moment, the overwhelming excitement and nervousness engrossing every cell in your body.

But when you finally looked up at him, your eyes catching his, everything felt peaceful. Nothing else mattered except for the gentle upturn of his eyebrows and the soft slope of his lips that curled into a smile. The recognition of his uncovered expression that you only saw intimately sent an electric shock through your body.

The distance between you both disappeared almost immediately. You felt the dance of his fingertips curve around your waist, pulling you close to him as you stifled a giggle of excitement that quickly turned into tears of delight. Tears brimmed at your eyes as you hugged him close, feeling his steady body against your chest and his fingertips spread between the skin of your shoulder blades. Nothing mattered at that moment.

"You look so beautiful," you felt his lips brush against your ear. You smiled against his jaw, feeling the soft prickle of his skin and the scent of his aftershave fill your senses.

"I wasn't expecting you to not wear your mask," you whisper into his neck as your hands hung lazily around his body. But, instead, you felt his hands gently grasp your shoulders, pulling you away to look at you. Your eyes scanned his face, the small mole on his chin resurrecting the smile you couldn't quite tame.

"I figured you'll be my wife shortly, so you should certainly get used to it," he lifted his finger and traced the curve of your own jaw, the feeling of his rough index finger traveling across your skin sent an electric shock through you. You felt heat erupt within you, and by the firm look he gave you, he had felt it too.

"Will you not be wearing it during the ceremony?" You asked hopefully.

He chuckled, pulling you back into his chest. You felt the echo of his laugh reverberate against you.

That was a no.

*****

The surreal environment you walked into with your fiance on your arm felt like you had been transported into a far-off dream you had had many months ago. The realization that all of your planning and praying for things to singularly come together to this moment overwhelmed your senses.

You looked down the aisle at Kakashi, his mask returned to cover his sharp features. Yet, a part of you didn't mind. It was the familiar face you had fallen in love with. You could see the shadow of a grin under the fabric of his face as you walked towards him. Sakura blossoms bobbed all around you, whispering in the breeze that swept his short hair to the side even more.

Once you reached him, you could see the outline of red around his eyes. The man who never showed his emotions in public unless absolutely necessary couldn't help but be overcome with passion at the sight of his bride. You reached for his hand, feeling the clamminess of his skin as you threaded your fingers through his. You smiled at him, and he leaned over to plant a soft kiss on your temple.

****

"You may kiss your bride," was all you heard as the ceremony ended. You looked up at him, delirious with joy as he smiled down at you, his wife. You narrowed your eyebrows when he didn't immediately press his lips to yours at the reader's consent. He waved your maid of honor over, pointing to your bouquet that she held for you.

"This?" your maid of honor asked, holding up the floral arrangement. He nodded, taking it from her as your attendees continued to cheer. You took it from her and looked back at him, puzzled by his strange request.

But when he pulled your wrist up to cover both of your faces with the bouquet, it all made sense. Shielding the two of you from the audience, you felt the pleasing satisfaction of his bare lips to yours, the sensation enough to send an electric shock through every cell in your body as he pulled your waist closer to his hips. Your whole body blushed at the thrill of kissing your husband without his mask in front of a hundred or so people.

Pulling away breathlessly, he looked down at you, relishing the look of awestruck satisfaction on your face as he pulled his mask back over his nose. Setting the bouquet back at your waist, you gave a dazed smile to the cheering attendees.

As you turned back to the ever louder cheering guests, you felt his lips touch the shell of your ear while you walked back down the aisle.

"Was that good enough for you?" He quipped, smiling behind his mask. You giggled at his remark, waving to your guests.

As you reached a private place behind the crowd, you let out a long sigh, waving your hand to fan yourself. You smiled, joy filling every nerve ending in your body.

Looking out at the crowd that dispersed to a cocktail hour, you felt the warm embrace of the Hokage's arms around your waist. You sighed again, inhaling his scent as he buried his lips in your neck. You felt his grip tighten on your hips.

"I love you," you murmured to him, caressing the hand on your hips. Quickly, he turned you around to face him, searching your face as if to emanate with his eyes how he was feeling.

"I don't think you understand," he whispered to you, his hand on your jaw. You reached up, your fingers brushing over his knuckles and the warm wedding band on his fingers.

"Understand what?" You giggled.

His face remained serious, his gaze overwhelming.

"Understand what?" You repeated quietly.

"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me."

[rogueninja]

hi kat, i love your blog and when you talk about naruto op/eds. so my question to you is which one do you think encapsulates the series the best? <3

rome, beloved, bless you for this question. it's been far too long since properly waxed poetic about a naruto OP/ED.

to me the easiest answer for which OP/ED encapsulates the series is hands down diver. which may sound biased but it's not even my favorite one!!! but it does encapsulate the series the best.

to start, something really interesting about it is that like most anime, in general naruto OPs follow the theme/story of the current arc, which usually means showing shots of the groups of characters that appear, and fights that play a large role. but diver doesn't do that. it has a story to tell and doesn't bother with any cruft.

it's worth nothing that diver is attached to the episodes in which naruto gets beaten up by karui for refusing to give up sasuke, resolves to travel to the five kage summit in order to beg the raikage for sasukes's life, and also learns from obito the truth about itachi and the uchiha massacre. so naruto is basically balls to the wall for sasuke at this point (i mean when has he not been, but sasuke is really not a popular guy right now). not only that, but naruto just finished saving the village from pain and basically has the love and support from others that he has always wanted. i think this is super important context for how we should look at diver.

we start out with naruto falling into a black abyss all alone. obviously loneliness has always been a major part of naruto's backstory.

next we see shots of obito and the other akatsuki - -these are main antagonists that naruto has faced, and just one of his many burdens. then we see SASUKE, grouped together with the antagonists, but he's much closer, and he's looking right into naruto's eyes EXACTLY like how he did in VOTE1. only this time naruto's eyes are open.

at this point sasuke raises his chidori to strike naruto, further driving home this framing of him as an antagonist. not only is he threatening naruto, he's doing it in a much more close and personal way than the other antagonists. at this point naruto starts to resist, and everything dissolves and turns red as if the weight of everything has become too much.

that's when other people, most notably team 7 and iruka, start supporting naruto and pushing him upwards. "bonds" are what i would consider to be the greatest theme in naruto. relationships with others, feeling their pain, this is what makes people strong enough to overcome evil and hatred (according to naruto). he believes this so strongly because when he was alone, others acknowledging him (notably iruka and sasuke) is what saved him. so after all this support from others, naruto, is pushed above the water and is saved.

but. he turns around and sasuke is still there. in a black whirlpool (uzumaki means whirlpool. coincidence???). and he has the mangekyo now, a something which is used to symbolize hatred but actually a sign of the loss of great love. and sasuke is preparing to use it as a weapon to achieve his goals of hatred and revenge. he's cut himself off from every bond. he's alone. naruto knows exactly what this means. at this point, he puts his headband on his head. he's been holding it in his hand the whole time. the headband carries a lot of meaning throughout the series. naruto actually doesn't even wear it the whole time during the kage arc, which i find very interesting (he wants to approach sasuke not as a ninja or jinchuriki but as his friend). but in this OP putting on the headband seems to symbolize some level of resolve, and/or perhaps similar to how naruto demanded sasuke put his headband on when they fought, as a sign they acknowledge each other as equal ninja.

the point is though, that naruto goes back for sasuke. naruto's whole thing always for for the end of time is that when he sees others' pain, he feels that pain, he relates, he empathizes, and he can't stand to see them go through the same thing he did (source: every talk no jutsu ever), and he admits later on that when he sees sasuke in pain, he hurts too. which is exactly why he goes after sasuke, because right now everyone is against sasuke, literally the entire five great nations have branded him as an enemy of the state. itachi is dead, and kakashi and sakura have all given up on him. sasuke has team taka but even they end up being abandoned by him during his quest. literally everyone is telling naruto to give up on sasuke, but he refuses. naruto recognizes that what sasuke really needs is someone to understand him, to be there for him, to love him, the way others had for naruto (including sasuke in the past!!). so naruto goes back.

but this is the end of the OP. we don't see if he succeeds, because that won't actually be resolved until the very end of the series. and that's why i think it perfectly encapsulates the series. naruto and sasuke's relationship encapsulates the series, their bond, their empathy for each other, their shared pain. every talk no jutsu naruto does in order to understand every antagonist -- sasuke is the pinnacle of that. and that's why i think it encapsulates the series :)

[minevn]

(I'm sorry for the mistakes) (silly) *left a note for all my clothes thieves* “Please don't steal my clothes! I’m not rich and I can’t buy new clothes every time!!!”

Minato: Doesn't steal your clothes but is shocked when you invite him over and he sees the note. "You...have people stealing your clothes?" He looks at you, mortified, shocked that stuff like that actually happens and it's happening to you. Offers to stay watch if you want him to.

Haruto: Doesn't steal your clothes, but you two probably share clothes if your clothes fit him, he also gives you his clothes often. Is also surprised when he sees the note, honestly, a bit upset he hadn't thought of doing that himself but also gets upset at himself for thinking that. "I'll buy you new clothes, how does that sound?"

Jun: Has definitely stolen your clothes, especially now that she's back in town and so close to you. Feels bad when she sees the note and returns your stolen clothes back to you, washed of course. She'll also buy you some new clothes and takes one article of clothing, she needs your smell y'know? She'll make sure to wash and return it when your scent is gone.

Hoshi: Hasn't stolen your clothes, but has definitely thought about it. Laughs so hard he falls to the floor when he reads the note you left. "People are ACTUALLY stealing your clothes?!?" Despite laughing, when he thinks about it, it ticks him off. If any one is going to be stealing your clothes, it should be HIM! He's the one dating you! "I'm buying you new clothes and getting you a safe to store them in. That, or you could come live with me and I'll beat the shit outta anyone who comes by to steal 'em"

Habiki: Hasn't thought about stealing your clothes so he hasn't done it. Doesn't notice the note until later in his visit. "Is... Is that a joke?" He points to the paper, looking disgusted. Why would anyone steal worn clothes?? After confirming it's not a joke, Habiki just sighs. "Lets get you some new clothes. Don't worry 'bout paying me back." He doesn't steal your clothes, but he tries to find the appeal about stealing worn clothes. He understands when all he smells is you. Still, you two are dating and he can smell you anytime he wants to.

Kage: He's solen your clothes so many times. He feels bad when he sees the note when he's about to steal some more clothes. He sighs and drops his plans of stealing your clothes. He heads back home and finally does the laundry, it's mostly your clothes. He'll return them back to you when he's done washing and drying them. He'll take a little something as a reward for giving you back your clothes.

Kei: He's stolen one thing of yours(your heart jk) and that's a shirt that you go to sleep in. He only ever steals that shirt. Once the scent is gone, he washes it and returns it back to you, waiting for you to wear it and get your scent all over it again. When he sees the note, he knows he's included, but definitely not the only one. Next time he goes to steal that shirt, he buys you a new shirt to wear every time and leaves you some(a lot of) money.

Yani: The main culprit honestly. He'll go to steal another article of clothing and see the note. It doesn't stop him from stealing your clothes. But the next day he returns with all your clothes that went missing months ago, but he didn't even wash them. You ask how he got your clothes, not wanting to expect the worst, but he just flat out tells you it was him before going over to you laundry basket, picking up a shirt and smelling it while telling you she likes your scent. Will ask you if you know how to turn your scent into a perfume that way Yani doesn't have to steal your clothes anymore. Still, he feels bad so he'll take you shopping, letting you know that he'll be stealing these as well after you've worn them, but at least you have all your other clothes back and Yani will start returning them to you, unwashed however.

Aki: Chokes as soon as she sees the note. Thinks it's a joke but quickly turns disgusted when she finds out it's not a joke. "That's serious, buddy. Call the police??? For now, lets get you some new clothes, don't even worry about paying me back." is so disgusted by the idea of others stealing your clothes that she stays over for a month and doesn't sleep at night, just stares at the window.

[bougiebutchbitch]

Omg im staying on anon cuz these hoes are hell but i just saw your post about disliking like 60% of the sasuke fandom and i busted out laughing cuz im a huge sasuke stan but same. A lot of them are insufferable and toxic on a level that boggles the mind. I dont blame Sasuke I blame a decrease in braincells in this world. A lot of Naruto enjoyers get really accustomed to being spoon fed and I feel like for Sasuke stans that often unfortunately translates into (by proxy of her narrative being tied to sasuke) absorbing the misogyny written into Sakura’s character without a critical eye. It’s frustrating and it’s not the only issue in this crowd either 🥴 You and I are moots so now I feel like one of the good ones 🤣

<33333333333333 you're definitely one of the good ones!

I don't dive deep into that side of the fandom, but... y e a h there's a lot of misogyny floating around. 'I don't blame Sasuke I blame a decrease of braincells in the world' is exactly right skldjfgjskdfgksdfg

He's a great character but he doesn't have to be 'right' about everything all the time in order for people to love him... You can agree that Konoha ideally needed to have its whole ninja-production system dismantled, and not think him killing off the kage and setting up a worldwide Sasuke-dictatorship as a traumatised seventeen-year-old kid was legitimately the best option for anyone, himself included! And you can recognise that yeah, the fact that the status quo was reinstated for Boruto rather than severely disrupted is... an extremely dodgy narrative choice - but it's very odd to blame it on the fictional characters rather than looking at the wider context of why this decision was made by the writers!

But I can't control what other people do; I can only sigh and grumble and block without impunity X'D c'est la vie

I should say that - yeah, I engage with and reblog from the blogs of several Sasuke lovers because OBVIOUSLY he's an awesome character and a lot of his fans are really cool people. There's just a particular subset that makes me want to bash my head on a wall lmao

[applepi-1]

Haikyuu imagines Kissing them for the first time in front of another girl.

Kageyama x y/n Tsukishima x Y/n

E/c- eye color

Y/n- Your name

H/c- Hair color

Tsukishima-

-You never admitted but, you actually like the tall boy. The reason you won't admit it.

-He's Tsukishima.

-He can be an ass time to time.

-But it was hard on times.

-You'd just want to go ahead and kiss him, but then you remember who you're talking about.

-eventually, you stop yourself from exposing your crush.

-Once again is hard when girls far more prettier than you confess to him, but he always rejects them.

You sighed into your seat on the bench, laying down on you back, with your arm over your eyes. Today sucked. "Oh, is someone sulking?" I groaned at the voice, why do I like you again? I looked at him lifting my arm a little.

"Not in the mood." Or something like left your mouth before you covered my eyes again. Lately, girls keep coming to you, either insulting, or telling you to stay away from Tsuki, or love letters. He always throws those away, not even reading them. Girls ask you if he'd read them, not having the heart to tell them no, you just tell them he hasn't gotten to them yet.

"What crawled up your ass and died?" You turned on your side and held your body closer, your eyes looked down at the jacket being put on your waist. You looked back at Tsukishima. "You're in a skirt, dumbass."

"Sorry..." Tsukishima looked at you and sighed.

"What's wrong?" You bit your lip and stared at the wall.

"Tsuki we're about to-oh, I'll tell Daichi you're busy." You immediately sat up.

"No." They both looked at you. "I-I mean, I don't want to get in the way of practice."

"You're not you dumbass, tell Daichi I'll be a second." Yamaguchi nodded and walked off, Tsukishima sat in front of you making you look away. "Now, tell me, what's wrong?" You bit your lip again.

"I... I'm not one to let people get to me... you know that. But lately... things at home aren't doing any better, and... then some girls walk up to me and comment on my messy hair or my clothes... I don't know why I let it get to me." Of course I do. It's because of you Tsuki... But it's not like you'd ever tell him why.

"You want a snack?" You looked up at him as he stood up reaching out his hand.

"Don't you have practice?"

"So? Do you want one or no?"

"Fine." You slipped your hand in his ignoring the butterflies in your stomach as you walked to the snacks. "Oh, I got to use the bathroom real quick. You know my favorite right?"

"Of course, just hurry back dumbass." You laughed a little, walking away to the bathroom. Once you finished your business you wondered back to Tsuki, hiding when you saw a girl talking to him.

"So, Tsuki, do you accept my love?" Tsuki... You and Yams only calls him that.

"Sorry, but I like someone else." Your heart clenched at the words, you looked down at the ground. "And only she and Yamaguchi calls me Tsuki." You eyes lit up, is he talking about me?

"You mean... that fat-" before she could continue her insult, you ran to Tsukishima and crashed your lips to his. He was shocked at first, before putting his hands on your waist. Kissing Tsukishima was better than you thought, it was soft and passionate. You can taste the small hint of mint. When you pulled away Tsukishima was a blushing mess.

"I like you too." Tsuki smirked and kissed you again.

"I got that, dumbass."

Kageyama-

-Poor idiot, can't see you like him from a mile away

-He doesn't believe you like him, so he keeps his emotions to himself.

-Casually has a few fan girls.

-Doesn't know their flirting with him either, poor baby.

You sat outside the gym as the boys practiced, you looked down at a puddle seeing your e/c stare back at you. "Y/n?" You looked up seeing the setter staring down at you. "You okay?" You rubbed your eyes before replying.

"Yup! Just tired." The somewhat tall boy sat beside you.

"Have you not been sleeping again?" Kageyama knew about your sleeping habits. Many times he'd offer you his shoulder while eating lunch or after practice.

"Yea, I do try... just... brain keeps me awake." You don't tell him the full truth, like how girls that like him often ask you for his number. Or ask you if he's single, or ask you to give him something. You keep that to yourself.

"Well, I'm on the way to get some milk, do you want something?" You smiled to yourself.

"Trying to drink milk, to get taller?" You teased, he rolled his eye and got up.

"Fine, I'll just get me something." You quickly grabbed his hand making him stop.

"Please get me something." He laughed at your flustered face.

"I was still going to, boke." You rolled your eyes and let go of his hand, watching him walk away. A few minutes later Daichi came out.

"Ah, Y/n, just the person I need. Can you tell Kageyama to hurry up, breaks over." You stood up and stretched.

"Of course, got you." You walked away to where Kageyama should be. Stopping when you see a bunch of girls around him.

"Uh..." You hid by the wall, sighing.

"Please accept these chocolates!"

"And these love letters!" You felt your heart stop, at least they weren't asking you.

"Sorry... I like someone else." You literally wanted to get out of there, until you heard your name.

"You mean that girl Y/n who follows you like a lost puppy?"

"Huh? She doesn't follow me like a lost puppy."

"Can't you see, she's taking you away from us."

"Yeah, why does she get to be by your side? Is it because she likes you and you don't want to hurt her feelings." You began to think she's right, but then you got irritated by Kageyama's answer.

"She likes me?" you sighed at his stupidness.

"You don't notice?"

"Not really... it doesn't really matter-"

"Right because you don't like her, right?"

"No, because I do. It's just... it doesn't matter that she follows me around like a lost puppy, because I do the same. She stays by my side because I like her company, even though sometimes she distracts me with her laugh as I practice, but... she's not taking me away from y'all, because... well, because you guys aren't her. Sorry, but you guys don't stand a chance." Every girl around Kageyama looked at him wide eyed, but you smiled. He likes you back. You get out from your hiding spot and quickly peck his lips.

"I know they already, outted my feelings, but I like you, Kages." He blushed deeply, here you were confessing your love in front of his fan girls. And unlike them, you don't get rejected.

"I like you too, baka."

"Who are you calling Baka? You were seriously oblivious to my feelings?"

"Uh... maybe." You bunked his head sighing.

"Baka-" before you could finish Kageyama bent down kissing you lips lightly. When he pulled away, you were the blushing one. Then you remembered why you came. "Oi... Daichi wants you back so you can practice." He laughed and pocked your cheek before handing you, your drink. You walked back hand in hand drinking you drinks.

1208 words

[animeyanderelover]

Sorry, sorry for a second request! Do you think you could do Prompt 9 or 17 with Shisui Uchiha?

I recently got so many requests about him which is kind of funny since he was a minor character in Naruto. But he is an Uchiha so I guess that explains it.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, kidnapping, manipulation, sabotage, intimidation, Shisui revealing his dark side, threatening, mentioning of killing

Prompt 9: “Do you want me to break your legs or lock you in a cage to prevent you from running away?”

Would you kill for love? Would you be ready to go as far as hurting, threatening and manipulating everyone in your way just to be able to know that the person you were madly in love with would return the favor and love you back? And would you feel guilty if you did so? Or would you tell yourself that this was necessary? Would you even feel ashamed of it in the first place?

Maybe it was sometimes easier to be obvious and more naive, maybe being blind was sometimes a good thing. Because seeing things very clearly and remembering whatever he did took it's psycological impact on Shisui, a lot more than he let others see. He was sure that he had every time be lenient with people which had saved a lot of stupid asses from him. He had been careful with whatever he had done, be that stalking, killing or other things he had done due to his obsession.

Everything had been hidden under multiple layers of friendliness, charm and intelligence, a nice guy act he had put on so he wouldn't scare you away and make you suspect him. Shisui had been rather determined to make you fall naturally for him without having to rely on anything else besides his natural charm and maybe a few threats here and there to scare potential rivals away. He had worked hard for all of this, having invested months to bring you to confess your love to him and a few other years just to keep a strong relationship with you. There were imperfect times as well, but that was normal and both of you had always been able to discuss it out. Shisui had been proud of this, that both of you were able to always talk about things and find a solution.

But even the sweetest lie must find it's end and looking back on it, he should have seen it coming. Love was in the end the strongest yet most fragile thing in this world. It could either go through the toughest of times or shatter with the slightest breeze of the wind. Truly ironic. Only one small mistake had been all that was needed to expose him to you, though many things were still in the dark for you and Shisui was not willing to tell you detailed everything he had ever done.

And now you were afraid of him, something he had never wanted. Instead of a smile you wore a mask of horror, instead of leaning into his touch you flinched away, instead of warmth and trust there were pain and tears in your eyes.

It was distraughting to see for the Uchiha, to know that the person he had planned on loving and protecting with all he had was now afraid of him. Life didn't go always his way and it was something normal, but even he had been mad at no one in particular because he hadn't had someone to blame except the person who had tattled too much and they had gone silent already, Shisui had guaranteed this to happen. But now he had been left with the knowledge that you knew the truth, wanted to break up with him, wanted to let others know the truth about the golden boy who was together with Itachi one of the most talented Uchiha.

How could he ever let that happen? He had a reputation and didn't want to disappoint his friend, his Kage, his village. Much less could he imagine a life without you on his side, he had never felt that desperate before like when he had seen you in such a devastated state, crying and shouting at him to leave, to go away, to never show his face in front of you again.

What other choice had he left except not only having to use his Sharingan on you and to make sure that you wouldn't be under too much humans for a while? You would have ruined everything he had worked on. Shisui had quickly thought about all sorts of excuses to why you would be gone for a long time, why you wouldn't be able to see friends and family for a while anymore. He knew that this wouldn't work for forever, even he was not allmighty. But he had been able to buy more time to think of something better because controlling you with his Sharingan for the rest of his life was tiring even for him and he disliked the thought of forcing you to love him. It didn't feel right to do. Not like anything he had done so far had been right.

But recently there had been something that had unnerved him a lot, managing to make him question his sanity. The way he had suddenly turned so much more threatening and intimidating on you. The first time he had done it, it had been quite surprising and he had paused when he had noticed what he had done. Never before had he been forced to do this, using threats on you. But now he had to, a new and frightening thing for you to witness, making you understand just why he was so feared by rival villages. Shisui had a cold and rational side to him, only doing what was best for his village and his comrades.

But being so selfish over it was something you weren't used to see, Shisui always made sure to be fair. But what had you known about him anyways? All you had known was his one side, the other side of him had always been a mystery to you. And you knew why. Now you knew why.

"Do you want me to break your legs or lock you in a cage to prevent you from running away?"

Because no one wanted to be near a cold killer like him, someone who kept all his emotions hidden under a perfect poker face with the red eyes that reminded you of a demon gazing at you. There was nothing on his face, no sympathy, no guilt, no nothing. It was probably best to not let emotions get the better of him, not when he was being assigned to kill people without hesitation.

His words had a numbing effect on you, causing you to stop struggling instantly, instead slowly falling down to your knees, trying to get your trembling breath under control. You had troubles to stay the smallest bit calm, not when fear was pumping through every single cell of you and made you flinch by even the smallest noises.

You didn’t know what was even scarier. The words he had just spoken or the person who had said them. Or maybe it was even the fact that you didn’t even know anymore whether to believe he wouldn’t do it or he would. There might have been a time where you would have taken all of this as a joke, but as you felt his cold presence lingering right over you, the glimmering eyes feeling like attempting to drill through your head and the tight grip he had the moment he wrapped his fingers around your arm, the hands with which he had killed and hurt others, made you doubt that he wouldn’t do it.

Still though, you wanted to play with your luck. Maybe you would be able to calm him a bit down and make something more human appear on his face.

Maybe.

“You wouldn’t.”, you stated with a more firm voice than expected, looking him daringly in his eyes. The glimmer of hope in you must have been still there inside of you.

You saw him quirking his eyebrow slightly when being met with the sudden courage of yours despite the fact that you were still shaking like a mice in front of it’s predator.

“What makes you feel so confident?”

“I might not have realized what you’ve been up to. But I’ve known and loved you long enough that you wouldn’t hurt those you cherish and love.”, you replied, continuing to endure his Sharingan despite the knowledge that he might trap you in a genjutsu at any moment.

He stared at you for a while, scanning you up and down in an observing way.

“I wouldn’t be so confident if I were you. You do not know what I am capable off.”

This was discouraging because you couldn’t tell if you had managed to hit a nerve of his or not, Shisui was an excellent actor. He didn’t give anything away.

“That’s true. I don’t know what you’re capable off. But I know that you have your honor and duty as well. So you wouldn’t hurt an innocent citizen, not if you are loyal to the Leaf. Because if you do, you are a terrible person. If you really love me, you won’t hurt me. Otherwise I am just an ignorant fool who still believes in love. In that case I would like you to do what you just threatened me you would do so I can stop seeing you as my love, but as the manipulative and cruel person you are. I won’t sugarcoat anything anymore. However, be aware that I will hate you for eternity afterwards and would rather die than acting like nothing ever happened.”

Your tone sounded warning and he knew that you had just threatened him just as much as he had done. He was a bit surprised that you had still the guts to talk to him like this, but you had always been someone who often managed to feel brave in a tricky situation.

You still had faith in him despite everything he had done? Shisui felt his inner conflict growing more and more, feelings clashing with each other and he maybe felt himself moving his poker face the tiniest bit, though it was too short for you to be sure you had really seen it.

Why had this to happen to you two? You could have been a happy couple. But it was too late to regret this. The past was the past. And Shisui had to focus on the present and the future.

“You think too highly of me.”, he told you, bending down so he didn’t have to stare down at you like this.

“You do not know what I had to do already in my life (y/n). You have no idea what I could do. I don’t want to hurt you, I really don’t want to hurt you. However, I won’t take the risk of you potentially ruining everything I’ve worked on so hard. So do not test me and my patience.”

For a short moment he looked a bit exhausted, though this moment flashed by rather quickly and he went back to his emotionless face.

You felt bitterness stirring up inside of you as well as the feeling of losing hope and disappointment. Did he really mean this?

You jerked away when he suddenly grabbed your shoulders, looking like he wanted to say something else.

“I don’t have a choice (y/n). You left me no other options. I do not expect you to understand why I do what I do. But at the very least please understand that I never wanted this to happen. I still love you.”

The slightest bit of distraught, marking all his actions slightly, specifically the sudden desperate tightening of his grip.

“I’m sorry. But I have to be this way.”

[haruno-sakura-san]

So I'm playing around with this idea for a Fic I'm writing called Altered. I'm just trying to get some thoughts down about it. Let me know what you think.

**

Shikamaru

Tsunade died quickly and painlessly one morning before her retirement. Shikamaru was sure it was the punch line of some cosmic joke at her expense. He wouldn’t be surprised in 20 years he was the butt of a similar one. Both of them hated the job and both worked tirelessly forward. So he supposed it just couldn’t be helped.

The funeral was huge. Kage and shinobi from all villages came to pay respects to the woman who saved the lives of thousands in the war and who’s leadership had come to bring together all the shinobi nations in peace. Each Kage made a speech that was some variant of this narrative, standing in a noble line to the side of her portrait, large enough for the entire gathering to see. On the end, flanking Kakashi, was the only non-hokage, Sakura.

Her frame was small. Smaller than most of the Kage lined beside her, but it was sturdy and unshakable to Shikamaru’s surprise. She wasn’t crying. So often he’d seen Sakura break down, over teammates and Sasuke and strangers, but now of all times her face was dry. She looked strong, respectful, at peace. A mirror of Tsunade’s portrait on display. The perfect apprentice.

“Wasn’t she the one that found her?” Temari asked. She’d followed his gaze to Sakura’s form.

“Ah,” he affirmed, not sure what else to say.

“Must have sucked,” Temari said, and for some reason this made Shikamaru a little irritated.

Sucked. Sucked? Shikamaru knew first hand how much it sucked seeing your teacher die in front of you and having no way to stop. Sucked didn’t even begin to describe it.

Sakura had worn that face when she’d marched into the Hokage’s office, like it was any other day. She didn’t look dazed or broken, but she wasn’t smiling her normal cheery smile.

This was the only clue she’d give as she squared off in front of Kakashi’s desk and said plain as day, “Tsunade passed away this morning. We should begin making arrangements before word gets too far.”

Both him and Kakashi froze.

“Mah, Sakura. That’s not a very funny joke so early in the morning,” Kakashi recovered more quickly than he had.

“It's not early. Its noon. It's not a joke.” She didn’t snap and this shook Shikamaru more than if she’d stormed across the room and slapped her Hokage across the face. Normally she’d snap. But this was just a tired statement of fact after fact.

“How did it happen?” Shikamaru asked, still in shock. He remembered Tsunade barreling in just a few days ago, informing, not requesting, her leave from the hospital for retirement. Kami knows I’ve earned it.

Sakura’s clear gaze turned on him and he felt the weight of his body acutely. Maybe it was that lack of smile.

“A heart attack. It was quick. She was gone before she could feel any pain.”

Kakashi swiveled in his chair, peering out the window at the cloudless blue sky. Not appropriate weather for news like this.

“I see.” Is all he said. Processing, Shikamaru guessed. “Didn’t even get a chance to retire.”

Shikamaru stifled the dry, ironic laugh itching at his throat. Or maybe he just needed a cigarette.

“No,” was all Sakura said.

“Who else knows?” Kakashi now all business.

“Just me and a nurse I trust to stay quiet until an announcement is made.”

Shikamaru felt the floor warp a little. “You were there when it happened?”

This time she did smile. Yeah, isn’t that just the darnedest thing? “Yes. I did everything I could to save her, but there was nothing I could do.”

He knew she wishes there would have been.

“Where is the body” Kakashi asked. Shikamaru winced. The body. Such a careless way to say it.

“It's already been taken care of.” Sakura lowered her eyes to a knot in the wood flooring.

Kakashi let out a weary breath and Shikamaru could tell he wished it wouldn’t have been Sakura taking care of it.

“Sakura,” Kakashi still looked out the window, “We can take this from here. Take some time off and see one of the counselors or be with your friends.”

“With all due respect, there much to be done at the hospital with Tsunade’s departure. I’ll continue working, Hokage-sama.” She bowed stiffly, the Tsunade’s departure hanging in the air. Departure, like she’d just left for retirement and that was that. Shikamaru wondered if that’s what Sakura was thinking. Just that she’d left like planned and she was supposed to carry on. The good little apprentice.

A long moment passed. A battle of wills.

“No,” Kakashi finally said. “You need time to grieve.”

Finally, some of the fire comes out in Sakura. “So do you, but you’re not taking time off, are you? We both have jobs to do here – important jobs - and I’m not going to sit on my ass eating icecream and crying into teddy bears while her hospital goes to shit -”

“Sakura this is not negotiable.”

“I’m fine.” And she does sound fine. “I. Am. Fine.”

They exchange a look loaded with history Shikamaru isn’t privy to. He watches for a moment, then two, wishing he could shrink away and become shadow.

“Thank you,” Sakura says tightly and walks out of the room. If Kakashi gave any sign he assented, Shikamaru didn’t catch it.

“Was it really a heart attack?” Temari says in the present. Shikamaru blinks twice, extracting himself from the memory.

“Ah,” he grunts in confirmation, wishing she’d drop it.

“Seems like it’d take more than that to take her out.” Temari speculates. Again, he’s irritated by her casual tone over the matter. “I mean, she was literally blown apart in the war and she still survived that. The woman was tough as they come. Seems like a little heart attack –,”

“Drop it.” Shikamaru barks, surprising himself. He’s not one to ever take a tone with her, not one to lose control over anything. But the past week has done something to him though, dredged up old memories of Asuma lying still and cold and it frays him at the edges.

Temari opens her mouth to snap back, ever strong-headed, but he interrupts, eyes turning toward Sakura’s steady form, his mind flashing between now and then.

“If Sakura says that’s what happened. That’s what happened.” It's too much trouble to think further than that. So he believes it. He has to. “She did everything she could, so just drop it.”

For now, she does. But he’d be an idiot to think the discussion was completely over.

**

Sakura

Tsunade was dead. Her teacher was dead. The teacher that believed in her and saw in her what Kakashi and all the rest hadn’t was dead. And she’d just walked into Kakashi’s office and lied through her teeth about every single part of it.

Tsunade didn’t die quickly and painlessly. It took several minutes for her spirit to finally untangle from her body and move on. Sakura watched it all happen.

It did happen suddenly. One breath she’d been discussing retirement plans then next – well. Sakura’s stomach turned. She hurried into the ladies' room and hurled her coffee up.

It’d been horrible. Nothing like Sakura had ever seen. And when it was over, nothing remained of the teacher she knew and loved. The image of Tsunade old, shriveled, blackened – Sakura dry heaves into the toilet again - wrong. So, so wrong and it wasn’t supposed to have happened like that. Sakura presses her forehead into the cool rim of the toilet, not caring how dirty might be. She deserved it. Tsunade didn’t.

Knowing how vain her teacher had been, she’d taken care of it. All of it. So that her teacher would have the dignified death she deserved. She had destroyed any evidence of the truth all on her own. And Sakura would carry it, her secret, until her dying breath.