#i think its cost-effective and its not something you would really notice unless you consume as much of this shit as i do

[ruzek-halstead]

get me with those green eyes, baby

julie is unsure how to tell luke how she feels; she isn't sure if she can. so she does what she does best; she writes luke a song. why tell him if she can just sing it to him?

masterlist

Julie would be lying if she said every song she'd ever written since meeting Luke hadn't been about him.

Because they have. Every last one.

When unknown feelings started bubbling deep within her chest the more time she spent with Luke, she had to let them out somewhere. While she was never the type to keep things bottled up, she didn't necessarily enjoy spilling her guts (unless it was to Flynn). So, she opted for writing down her feelings. That usually ended up in lyrics and it wasn't like she could just show them to Luke because the boy was curious beyond belief and he would hound her until he knew exactly who it was about.

So, she locked everything in her dream box.

And yes, the boys were known to be a tad bit snoopy and go through her things, including the dream box. So, when Julie started locking up her deeply personal (borderline romantic) lyrics, she made it explicitly clear they were to go absolutely nowhere near her box.

She was mostly directing her words at Luke, who actively avoided eye contact while suppressing a smirk.

And they were respectful, she never had any further issues that she knew of; so, she continued writing.

It was only when they were faced with the choices of being stuck in the Hollywood Ghost Club forever or crossing over that she realized she wouldn't ever have to worry about Luke snooping through her personal things again.

He wouldn't be able to. He'd be gone.

So, Julie wondered: did she risk letting him go forever without telling him how she felt? Or tell him anyway but still risk him disappearing?

It was a tough choice that kept Julie reeling, but she found she didn't have much time in between. She didn't care that she would lose them when they crossed over; she would do what she could to ensure that they did.

With all the chaos, she didn't get the chance to talk to Luke, other than a quick moment to make sure he thanked her mom for bringing them to her when he saw her.

The tension was palpable and his gaze was intense. She was perfectly aware of Alex and Reggie only a few feet away, diligently pretending not to be listening but they both knew they were.

It wasn't the time or place for what Julie truly wanted to say, so she swallowed the words.

She didn't get another chance after that.

When they disappeared after their final bow, the pain was gutting. She continued to smile because this was a huge moment for her, for all of them, but they were gone. She thought she was ready, that she had mentally and emotionally prepared herself for their absence.

But nothing could prepare her for the immediate loneliness.

She wanted to be happy for them, and she was, deep down. But she had already suffered so much loss in her life, and this was only adding to it.

When she spotted them in the garage, tear-stained and in excruciating pain, all her emotions were overridden. All she could think about was saving them, no matter the cost, no matter the consequences. The desperation clawed at her throat; she couldn't bear seeing them in this much pain.

But then Luke delivered those few words: No music is worth making, Julie, if we're not making it with you.

She regretted not sharing her feelings but she was confident had an inkling of a clue. Even if she never explicitly said the words, he knew.

So, when she threw herself into his arms, she wasn't even thinking about the fact that he was air and she would most likely slam right into the wall instead. When she collided into his toned chest, she drowned in the moment, hardly even realizing that this shouldn't be possible.

But then she felt it.

She felt the softness of his suit beneath her fingers; she felt his hot breath fanning across her neck; and she felt his arms squeeze tighter around her waist.

Julie felt him.

It was impossible, they weren't sure how to explain it. Julie gazed at Luke's awestruck expression, tears leaking from his emerald eyes. And then he was somehow feeling better; her touch made him feel better and she wasn't sure how to feel about it. All she knew was that she had to try, so she quickly gathered Alex and Reggie as well and in awe, they watched as their Hollywood Ghost Club tattoos disappeared.

They did it.

The boys were free from Caleb and they still hadn't crossed over. Julie didn't have to give them up yet.

Of course, life continued to go on afterwards. The band was more popular than ever and Flynn was busy booking them gig after gig after gig. Not that they minded; it was exactly what they wanted to do in the first place. But the pressing thought never left them.

How long was this going to last?

It killed Julie to go on everyday, knowing that one day, she could walk into the studio, ready to rehearse and they could just be gone forever. It was one thing knowing, like how she knew last time. She was somewhat adequately prepared, but this time, it could happen at any time and she was far too attached now.

Julie knew she shouldn't bottle her feelings like she did last time. She had no idea when her last opportunity would be.

And Luke made her happy. He made her so happy.

One day she would be talking herself up, then the next she would be shutting down. She wasn't sure what to do, how to handle her feelings. Sometimes Luke could be so sickeningly sweet and the words were on the tip of her tongue but then he would do something so stupid or annoying that left her wanting to commit murder.

It was exhausting.

But then, one Saturday morning, Julie woke up with a fierce sense of determination and she thought: this is the day.

She wasn't sure where the surge of confidence came from, but she wasn't going to question it for fear that she would chicken out. Instead, she got herself ready for the day and dug through her dream box to pick out one of her most recently written songs.

Julie still wasn't sure how to verbally tell Luke how she felt; she wasn't sure if she could.

But why tell him when she could just sing it to him?

Julie marched down to the garage, mumbling a quick hello to her dad and Carlos who were making breakfast. Of course, the boys were glued to their instruments, most likely creating a new melody for a song Luke was working on.

"Jules, hey!" Luke greeted excitedly, his green eyes sparkling.

Julie scowled. He shouldn't be allowed to look at her like that.

"Alex, Reggie, do you guys mind going somewhere else? I need to talk to Luke."

Julie didn't mean for her words to sound so ominous; so much so that Alex and Reggie shot curious eyes to Luke, no doubt wondering what he did now. But she was a woman on a mission and she didn't have time to waste. Any time wasted was just her getting closer to backing out.

"Sure," Reggie drawled slowly. His eyes shot back and forth between Julie, with her lips pursed and hands on her hips and Luke, who frankly looked quite scared. Reggie and Alex poofed out, only muttering a quick good luck to Luke.

Immediately, Luke started rambling.

"Whatever I did, I'm so sorry. I'm an idiot, you know this, I'm—"

Julie shook her head. "Shut up."

But for some reason, he kept talking and Julie huffed in frustration.

Julie stepped across the studio, stopped right in front of Luke and his words died on his tongue. She reached for his guitar and pulled the strap from around him, placing it back on its stand.

Luke was more confused than ever.

Julie grabbed his biceps and pushed him back towards a stool. "Sit," she demanded.

"Julie, what's going on?"

"Please, just stop talking."

Julie made her way to the piano, sitting down on the bench and letting her fingers rest on the keys. It brought her some comfort for what she was about to do. Her eyes glanced up towards Luke, who was biting his lip nervously.

"I don't know how to tell you this, so I'm just going to sing it."

"Julie—"

"Luke, please," she breathed quietly and his eyes snapped to hers sympathetically. "Just listen."

Luke nodded in response. Julie could see his inability to sit still for long kick in as his knee started bouncing up and down quickly. She noticed his green eyes darting nervously between the piano and her face; the entire situation was much too anxious for him to handle.

"I wrote you a song."

Before Julie could adequately appreciate the way Luke's jaw fell open, she took a deep breath and allowed the music to consume her. She'd been going over these lyrics for weeks now; they were the truest words she'd never spoken, straight from the heart because of some ghost she'd tried so hard to hate in the beginning.

Julie was completely terrified.

But she couldn't continue on not living to the fullest. It wasn't fair to her and if by some off chance Luke felt the same way and wanted to pursue this, it wasn't fair to him either.

the way you move is like a full on rainstorm

and i'm a house of cards

you're the kind of reckless that should send me running

but i kinda know that i won't get far

His approach could be so aggressive, so eager to get things done, that sometimes he bulldozed over everything in his way. It was an effective way to get things done, but Julie always appreciated the process. Ever since they first met, he gave off a troublemaker type of vibe. Mooning Trevor Wilson always came into mind, but Luke was also the first to help her sneak out of her house using her bedroom window. It's not like the idea never crossed her mind, but before she met the boys, she never really had a reason to.

Luke changed a lot of things for her.

and you stood there in front of me just

close enough to touch

close enough to hope you couldn't see

what i was thinking of

It truly never bothered her in the beginning that they couldn't touch. They were friends, bandmates, nothing more. But then he let her into his brilliant mind and as soon as they started writing together, everything started changing. Julie didn't want anything to change, she knew it would only complicate things, but she couldn't help it.

And then Perfect Harmony happened, and her mind so vividly showed her what it could feel like and ever since, she couldn't get rid of the urge to feel his soft skin under her fingertips.

After visiting his parents and their talk on her porch, it seemed like he knew what she was thinking. He seemed to want it too, if his actions were anything to go by, but it couldn't happen. It left her feeling a tad awkward, but as soon as she got into her house, she made a beeline for her bedroom and poured her thoughts and feelings into a new song about Luke.

drop everything now

meet me in the pouring rain

kiss me on the sidewalk

take away the pain

'cause i see sparks fly whenever you smile

When she wrote this chorus, she was on a high after their Edge of Great performance.

It was nothing that could ever happen, but it was everything she imagined in her wildest dreams.

Every girl at her age had the kiss in the rain fantasy. Julie's really was a fantasy because every time she looked at him, it was just a cruel reminder of everything that couldn't be. But she yearned for it; for everything to change, for him to help ease her pain, for him to surprise the hell out of her one day by grabbing onto her waist and ceasing her many questions with his lips.

get me with those green eyes, baby

as the lights go down

give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around

'cause i see sparks fly whenever you smile

His eyes were so captivating, Julie couldn't help but to mention them in every song she wrote. He knew exactly how to use them against her to get what he wanted and Julie was as weak to their power as anyone else. Sure, she put up a front; she had to, she was the boss, but his gaze truly made her weak in the knees. She dreamt of his eyes when she closed hers at night; she couldn't escape them even in her dreams.

The entire reason she was finally sharing this song with him in the first place was because the chances that he could disappear without warning were too high and risky. Julie knew that was a possibility, but her feelings for him were too strong to ignore. She wanted him and she wanted to be left with memories of what they could be together, because one day, when he wasn't around anymore, Julie could think back to all they shared together.

my mind forgets to remind me, you're a bad idea

you touch me once and it's really something

you find i'm even better than you imagined i would be

Oh God, she knew. She knew she and Luke could be so unbelievably destructive. There were so many things against them; she knew it was a bad idea. And she actually attempted to entertain those ideas, for the sake of Flynn and her own protection, but she couldn't anymore. Depriving herself of what she really wanted wasn't healthy and eventually she stopped trying to fight it.

She stopped trying to fight it the night of their Orpheum performance. When she felt Luke's arms around her, physically squeezing her as tightly as his muscles could manage, it changed everything. For better or for worse, she was completely invested now. Not just in Luke, but in all of the boys; they were family.

i'm on my guard for the rest of the world

but with you, i know it's no good

and i could wait patiently

but i really wish you would

Before the boys came into her life, Julie was on the edge. She was about to give up music, even though she loved music with her entire being. She just didn't have it in herself anymore; her muse was gone and she didn't want to share her music in a world where her mother couldn't witness it.

But then these three, random, cute, dorky boys showed up in her garage one day, claiming it was their studio and slowly, they wormed themselves into her heart. Julie didn't want to let them in right away, and she made that quite clear with her cold exterior. But then Luke just had to follow her out, pleading his case with the softest eyes and easily pulling at her heartstrings.

Julie felt her guard start to drop right there and then, and the more time she spent with those dorky boys, the less control she had. She quickly discovered there was no point in holding back around the boys. For teenage boys, they were highly perceptive to her emotions and when she wasn't being whole.

Every time Luke pulled her aside, using his words and his unbelievably intense eyes because he couldn't touch her, Julie felt her walls start to crumble. There was no reason to be anything but herself when she was with Luke; she felt it in her bones, their connection was unmatched.

drop everything now

meet me in the pouring rain

kiss me on the sidewalk

take away the pain

'cause i see sparks fly whenever you smile

Julie would be lying if she said she hadn't fantasized about her first kiss with Luke since he became corporeal.

How could she not?

She'd been thinking about him differently ever since her uncontrollable daydreams, but it was only ever in her mind; it could never happen in real life. And then all of a sudden, it could happen, but it was still beyond her wildest thoughts.

Sometimes she found herself with an urge at the worst of moments. Luke playing the melody he created for their latest lyrics and Julie should've been focusing on the music, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from his lips. Or throughout any of their live performances, when they shared a single microphone because the fans seemed to love it (among others). They were so close together, Julie was genuinely afraid she would forget the lyrics because all she could think about was Luke and how much she needed him.

And then he'd flash his charming grin before pulling some ridiculously attractive guitar trick and Julie was once again left floundering.

get me with those green eyes, baby

as the lights go down

give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around

'cause i see sparks fly whenever you smile

Julie didn't want Luke to disappear.

She knew that more than ever now. She had prepared herself once, and she doesn't think she can do it again; it was far too painful.

But she knew, one day, their time would come. They'd have completed their unfinished business and they'd get the opportunity to move onto a better place. And she knew, they might not be around all the time, but they'd be watching. And she knew, when she closed her eyes at night, she would dream of Luke's smile and every emotion it brought to her soul.

i run my fingers through your hair

and watch the lights go wild

just keep on keeping your eyes on me

it's just wrong enough to make it feel right

and lead me up the staircase

won't you whisper, soft and slow

i'm captivated by you baby like a firework show

One thing Julie could commend was that touch came quite easily after everything changed. It happened subtly, with slow touches on the piano bench, then gentle touches on the small of Julie's back. Eventually, it progressed.

Julie realized, accidentally, that Luke loved getting his scalp scratched. She had collapsed against her headboard one late night, and Luke liked to check-in on her when she stayed up late doing school work. Upon spotting her exhausted eyes, he plopped down next to her, dropping his head in her lap. Julie was far too tired to protest or even consider the ramifications, but somehow her hand made its way to his brown locks. She played gently with his hair, fingernails scraping against his scalp.

It was only for a second, and she quickly pulled away to grab her textbook. A low groan ripped through Luke's throat and he blindly reached up to grab her hand and pull it back to the crown of his head. It became their thing after that.

When Julie wrote the bridge of the song, she was high off energy from their latest show after they performed their brand new song. Their performance was electric as usual; it ended with Julie laughing, opening her eyes to find Luke staring at her in adoration.

She didn't even think about it when she threw her arms around his neck in a celebratory hug.

Even when they pulled away from each other and the crowd was still cheering, Alex and Reggie somewhere on the stage around them, she couldn't focus on anything except his bright smile.

Luke quite literally captivated her with every little thing he did.

She thought for a moment: this might be it, maybe he'll finally kiss me. But truth be told, Julie was glad he didn't. If it was going to happen, she didn't want it to be there, in front of hundreds of people. She wanted a private moment, just between her and Luke; that was all she needed.

drop everything now

meet me in the pouring rain

kiss me on the sidewalk

take away the pain

'cause i see sparks fly whenever you smile

Julie was coming to the end of the song now and she hadn't dared to look and see Luke's reaction. She wasn't sure she could handle any rejection should it come, but she knew she couldn't hold in her feelings anymore either.

Regardless of the result, Julie was still proud of herself. She put herself out there in a way she'd never done before and it was a big step in building her confidence.

get me with those green eyes, baby

as the lights go down

give me something that'll haunt you when you're not around

'cause i see sparks fly whenever you smile

Julie rounded off the song with the last few keys on the piano, taking a slow, deep breath when her fingers ceased moving.

She didn't want to look up, didn't want to see his reaction for fear of what she might see. Luke was always very expressive; even when he didn't know exactly what to say, he would ramble on until he eventually figured it out.

But this was different.

Julie was actually trying to tell him something, trying to tell him exactly how she felt in the best way she knew how; songwriting and singing. She paled for a moment; what if he didn't even understand what she was trying to say?

"Julie."

His voice seemed amused, and her eyes immediately snapped up to meet his.

Luke was now standing in front of the stool, unabashedly holding a smile that caused her to let out a large sigh of relief. Her hands automatically flew up to cover her face in mortification.

Stick to your guns, Jules.

But she couldn't. She felt like she was going to melt into a puddle.

Julie heard Luke approach and slide onto the piano in front of her. "Julie," he laughed, and she didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing. "Can you look at me?"

Before Julie could begrudgingly pull her hands away from her face, his hands reached down to circle around her wrists and pull gently. His eyes were soft, scanning her rosy cheeks and glassy eyes. She knew she shouldn't be crying, there was absolutely no need to, but her emotions were running high and this was a really huge move for her.

Julie hesitantly met his eyes. His hands stayed cuffed around her wrists, now resting in his lap. "Jules, that was beautiful. What's wrong?"

"I'm mildly mortified," Julie replied honestly, eyes dropping to the brand new guitar pick necklace Willie had given him (one for each of the boys and a new bracelet for Julie).

"Why?"

Julie's eyes snapped back up to glare at him. "Because I just basically spilled my guts out to you in the best way I know how and you haven't said anything!"

Luke didn't look phased at her change in attitude or the frustration she was throwing his way. He always knew the best way to handle her; talk her down when she needed it, or give her a reality check when she was too in her head (she'd be sure to do the same).

Instead, his hand moved to angle her chin so she couldn't avoid his gaze anymore. "Because I wanted you to look at me when I told you."

"Told me what?"

"That I love your song," Luke said softly, fingers reaching up to caress her cheek. Julie struggled to maintain eye contact when he looked at her like she had stars in her eyes and he said things like that. "And I think I've known for a while, but you know me. I'm not good at dealing with feelings."

Julie leaned into his touch. He wasn't exactly being clear, but it was Luke, so she wasn't exactly surprised.

He blinked, rubbing the back of his neck as he chuckled nervously. "Jules, I think I might be in love with you."

Julie's eyes softened, chest constricting with a multitude of emotions. Now it was Luke who was actively avoiding meeting her eyes, though he still couldn't find it in himself to stop talking.

"Not that I really know what it means. I've never been in love, but I think it's what I feel," he rambled on. "You came into my life when I really needed it. I'm better because of you; you make me better, Julie."

Julie decided it was about time she took hold of the reins again. After all, this was her idea all along. She placed her hands on either side of his face, breaking free from his hold. She pulled his face down, meeting him halfway. Julie hesitated, giving him the chance to pull back if he wanted to, but he really didn't want to.

Luke closed the rest of the distance between them, gently pressing his lips against Julie's. It was soft and simple and over way too soon, but Luke didn't want to push it.

He most definitely had just confessed his love for her and the reality was starting to hit him hard.

So, he made a joke.

"I'm sorry our first kiss wasn't on the sidewalk in the pouring rain."

A reference to her song. The push they needed.

And even though awkwardness was starting to creep up on Luke, a smirk slid its way onto Julie's lips.

"Don't worry; we'll have time for that."

Before Luke's lips could appreciate the grin he wore, Julie reeled him back in, pressing her lips firmly to his once again. Her hands found his way to his neck, slipping into his hair and scratching his scalp just the way he liked it. Luke let out a groan, unwillingly pulling away from her.

"Julie, if you don't stop, I may pass out from cardiac arrest," he mumbled, trying and failing to control his breathing.

Julie let out a short laugh. She started her day with so much confidence and it slowly swindled into uncertainty, but it all worked out. She just needed to trust herself, her feelings and Luke.

"By the way," Julie added, resting her elbows on his knees as she looked up at him in adoration, "I think I'm in love with you too."

Luke would never push her, but he couldn't lie and say he wasn't itching to hear the words. Everything she said in the song sent him into overdrive, but nothing compared to hearing her say it like that.

"Why don't we go write a song about it?"

"Good idea. I'm feeling especially inspired at the moment."

Luke leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss to Julie's nose. She scrunched her nose adorably in response.

"Me too, Jules."

x

i don't really have a taglist anymore (old one is outdated) and i never know who to tag so pls let me know if you want tags for any of my future fics :)

[charachanplz]

Ok I need to let this out of my chest or I WILL blow up and never get over this. So the Cuphead Show was finally given a proper trailer and release date, and most people on the twitter and tumblr tags are hyped about it, which is really good! a very happy celebration!

However, I also see, here or there, someone going out of the way to complain that it doesn't LOOK like the 30s. Cuphead was a game that felt like playing a cartoon from the golden age, why does this show look ugly, or too modern, or etc etc you get the idea. Someone even called it "like every other Netflix show" and just

Maybe trying to recreate old animation from the era isn't this show's purpose. It was the game's purpose, but not the show's. Maybe they wanted to expand or play around with the setting and characters they got. Maybe they just figured they got a franchise here, and wanted to expand to a cartoon, because that's what they were inspired by, and let the animation team get creative with what they have. Maybe they wanted more money and wanted to make something profitable. I do not know, all I know is that they're not doing the same thing they did with the game.

Probably because that would probably be an eternal, never ending development hell.

Like, think about it. we're talking about an animation style that's 90 to 100 years old, that mostly looks the way it does because it uses techniques not used as much, since they take so fucking long to work on. They had to color every cell through photoshop so they didn't take eternity to finish the game, and they only did that because it would have the same effect to traditional coloring. Studio MDHR were meticulous as hell with this game's style, even purposely adding in little mistakes in the animation to make it extra authentic. I have absolute respect for that kind of dedication, but I also understand if another studio wouldn't want to do that as well, with how much time and money it costs.

Hell, Cuphead diehard fans should KNOW how time consuming and expensive this process is. The brothers had to mortgage their HOME to afford the development of the game, that's basically a common fun fact. The original teaser trailer came out in 2013, while the game came out in 2017. That's, what? 4-5 years of development? Same thing happened with the DLC. Announced in 2018, and it's only NOW releasing in 2022, if it doesn't get delayed again. It's that time consuming. And this isn't something they can speed up for a tv show using modern technology, because, to be blunt, animation nerds are absolutely anal about accuracy.

I'm know this, I'M an animation nerd, and I get anal over inaccuracies. Remember Magic Portals? It tried to do the same thing Cuphead did, and its trailer got ripped apart on sight. People noticed the tweening, the slow animation, the inconsistent time period, and they hit it ALL in their criticisms and mockery of the game. I'm not a fan of Magic Portals myself, I don't really felt comfortable with what felt like a copy cat coming way too early in Cuphead's popularity, but I think the backlash it got could reflect what would've happened if the show tried to be era accurate while also trying to be quicker about it. It looks too digital, they're using tweening here, puppets there, this is obviously a reused asset, they wouldn't hear the end of it. Animation nerds would pick it apart and NOT be satisfied unless it is pitch perfect.

But ignoring animation, would you WANT to watch a show similar to 1930s shorts? Like, 100 or so shorts of random bullshit happening, events disjointed and only kinda following a storyline, characters constantly changing their look because pre-production was not really a thing during that time? That's not going to happen; both audiences and studios have WAY different standards now than what they had in the animation industry's infancy. A studio wouldn't just let the team go loose without preplanning, and more importantly? It wouldn't have that much of an audience. Wow! people who like animation history! That is not a big nor particularly mainstream crowd. If you could get the furries with anthro characters, maybe it'd do better, but cuphead isn't really known for its vast cast of walking talking animals. That show would BOMB with the average Netflix user if it was like that.

So, essentially, you'd have a show that'd be difficult and time consuming to produce, taking up a bunch of money, with no guarantee it'll get that money back through views. It'd be a suicide project.

Look, you can not like The Cuphead Show's style. You can skip it, find other shows to watch, maybe even play/watch the game again, and marvel at what its dev team's dedication and love for the legacy of animation has created. But it's unrealistic to sit there and expect a modern studio to use a pricey, tedious animation style, to create a show that maybe only you would watch.

[apenitentialprayer]

Humanity’s Last Hope

Attack on Titan and the Messianic Hero

(x) tl;dr the charismatic leader of a fascist movement is often identified with the movement itself. This grants the leader an extreme amount of power, bordering on a physical god in terms of influence. Affirming the inherent worth of each human being, which must be detached from their practical usefulness, is probably the best antidote to this way of thinking I feel like the past two rants have been about subjects that people might readily associate with fascism; they’re outside the mainstream just enough that people can feel like they don’t need to worry about them; unless you’re part of a group that espouses a mystical connection among the in-group, or believe that your group is perpetually in some sort of tension with the world at large, you don’t really have to worry about changing your behaviors to prevent a fascist tendency in them. This one is different, though; almost everyone can agree that heroism is good. We like heroes. We need heroes. But how do fascists deploy the concept of the hero in ways that further their cause? There is no question that Eren Yeager’s powers make him an important advantage for the humans residing in the Walls; with his ability to transform into a Titan and direct his powers against the enemy that has kept them trapped within the Walls for a century, Yeager’s discovery becomes a determinative moment in the history of his civilization. He will either be declared an Enemy of Mankind, too dangerous to be kept alive, or an asset that the military builds their entire hope around. And, because Eren is so essential to the plans that the military has staked its hopes on, they must ensure that Eren remains alive at all costs. This reaches the point where entire squads of soldiers boldly race to their deaths in order to buy time for Eren not even to escape, but to put a larger distance between himself and his pursuer, the Female Titan. Eren is distraught by this; these are his comrades. But, ultimately, they’re making a noble choice; they know that the plan cannot succeed without Eren, and so they are choosing to give up their lives in order to make sure that the mission can succeed. They transcend the self, identifying with a broader good, and decide that their life is something they’re willing to exchange for this broader good. In that regard, they fit the concept of the Islamic shahīd (sometimes, and I would say inaccurately, translated as “martyr”), the man who gives up his life in the pursuit of a righteous cause. We love this archetype; Rogue One is built around this concept; the 54th Massachusetts Infantry Regiment is immortalized by the film Glory for the way that they fit this concept; we sing songs about going "to fight for the right, without question or pause / To be willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause." In its most sublime form, this sacrifice is the recognition that there are things in this world bigger than ourselves, things worth fighting and dying for. But, in Attack on Titan, it isn’t that simple. We know the logic at play here from the speech the leader of Squad Rico gives Eren during the Trost operation; her wording there is key. In the above, you’ll notice that in the three examples I gave, people are sacrificing their lives for causes. When the squad leader tells Eren that people are going to die during the Trost operation, she tells him that they’re dying for him. What’s more, it is now Eren’s responsibility to ensure that those deaths have meaning by achieving his goal. And both of those statements need to be unpacked. First, I’m going to suggest that there is something noble about dying for a cause greater than yourself, and that there is something noble about dying to ensure the safety of someone else. Both of those things are moments of tragedy, surely, but they also have the potential to become a moment of sublime beauty, a moment of transcendental love: the firefighter who dies rescuing a little girl, the soldier who jumps on a grenade to save his squad, a parent going hungry to make sure their kids have enough to eat. These are tragedies, but they are mixed with something greater. I’m going to argue, however, that when these two acts of self-sacrifice are mixed, we have something potentially much uglier. When a particular person becomes equated with the cause, to the point that you can use that person and the cause interchangeably, we’re talking about an ideological Frankenstein that can create very unfortunate implications. When someone sacrifices themselves for another, we have someone trading their life for another. When someone sacrifices themselves for a cause, we have someone giving up their life for a greater good. When that person is the cause, well, does that make the person a greater good than the person being sacrificed? I hope I am articulating this clearly; when a broader cause is seen as objectively good, and we are identifying a single person as that cause, we are assigning extra value to that life as if that life is objectively more important than the lives of the people who support him. The Kim Il Sung, the Hitler, the Eren Yeager.... they become an aggregate, the receptacle of the hopes and dreams and inspirations of the people who follow them, charismatic leaders that act as living figures of devotion, invaluable icons whose loss would be tantamount to the destruction of the movement itself. To invest a human being with this level of power is dangerous. I want to make a distinction between the act of embodying and the state of embodiment for a second; to work to embody one’s ideals can a worthy goal. It requires you to assess yourself, to be critical of yourself, and to work to align yourself more with your ideals. You must decrease so that your ideal (which, hopefully, is a good one) may  increase. There is an inherent transcendence of the self in trying to embody an ideal. On the other hand, when you are the embodiment of an ideal, things are very different. To simply be is very powerful. To be an embodiment is to identify your needs with the cause’s needs, your desires with its desires, your hopes and aspirations with its hopes and aspirations. Someone who is embodying an ideal can be replaced; someone who embodies an ideal is irreplaceable. You get what I’m saying? Second, and this is very closely related to the above, is this idea that the sacrifice of the soldiers finds meaning in Eren’s success; we’ve spoken about the transcendental quality of race in certain forms of fascist thought in one of the previous posts I linked above. Here, however, the fascist is strictly materialist. These actions in and of themselves don’t have meaning. The heroism of the 54th Massachusetts Infantry Regiment is irrelevant to the fascist; they failed to capture the fort, and so any sacrifice there was ultimately for naught. A shahīd is only a shahīd if that sacrifice contributes to a pragmatic end. A firefighter who died saving a girl, only for that girl to die from burn injuries two weeks later, is a firefighter who wasted his life. The fascist doesn’t see the valor of the act itself. That being said, the fascist also understands that most people will see sacrifice as heroic, and will assign such sacrifices a pragmatic result, even if the connection isn’t quite clear. The soldiers who died on the eastern front did die meaningfully, because somehow the disaster on the eastern front was actually just a distraction that allowed our victory on the western front. The point is, sacrifice is only valuable when it directly helps the cause/leader in a practical way, and when sacrifice is valued even when it doesn’t seem to have had a pragmatic effect, the fascist will coopt it in order to save face. What I’m hoping you’ll take away from all this is simple; do not worship the leaders of movements. Every member of a movement is valuable, and the face of any given movement is not more valuable than anyone else. The President of the United States is not the United States. The Pope of the Catholic Church is not the Catholic Church. They are people, just like you and me, and your inherent worth is not connected to whether or not you push their agendas further in a visible way. While I’m on this topic, I’m actually going to leave off with a MAJOR SPOILER for Season 3, a spoiler that gives me hope that the fascist themes of Attack on Titan may not actually have the last word in the narrative. Towards the end of the season, Armin sacrifices himself, suffering massive third degree burns all over his body, and there is enough medicine to save only one person, either Armin or the leader of the Survey Corps. And at first a practical argument is made; Armin is clever, he has come up with many of the plans that have aided humanity so far. In other words, Armin is worth just as much as the leader because he contributes to the cause. But that’s not the argument that convinces Levi to give Armin the medicine; in a rare instant of self reflection on his hatred, Eren says that Armin deserves the medicine because he has not been consumed by hatred. Since his mother has died, he wants nothing more than to kill all the Titans he can. “But... [Armin]’s not like that. Armin cares about more than just fighting. He has dreams.” It might be true that Armin is smart, and talented, and dedicated to the cause. But that’s not why Eren wants to save him, and it’s ultimately not why Levi chooses to save him. No, Armin is saved because they see a fifteen year old boy who dreams of one day being able to see the sea. With one season left, and the manga apparently winding down as well, I think Armin is going to be the key that determines whether or not the fascistic tones of this narrative actually have the last say in the story.

[crazyclonefan]

Rex & Cody (Reunion)

Summary: The empire has fallen and Cody is ready for what awaits him when the new government arrives at Kamino to put all the stormtroopers and officers on trial. He reconciled with his fate, but a big surprise awaits him. Aka Cody and Rex finally reunited

Words:4668 

The empire has fallen. The Emperor was killed by Darth Vader, the rebels destroyed the new Death Star... The new government will be here soon to put everyone on the base under trial.

The officers, who were dumber and desperate, called on recruits not to surrender at the mercy of the enemies and fight to the last in a fit of patriotism. The simple fact that this is no longer makes sense did not bother them. Unless they really hoped save what the empire. The smarter officers were in a hurry to get out of the planet as quickly as possible. Cody watched all of them with undisguised irritation. Did everyone truly believe that the new government would forget about them and their merits to the empire so easily?

The republic, the empire, now the new government, consisting of former rebels... Only the wrapper has changed.

He already saw how one system collapsed and another grew in its place. He himself took an active part in this, exterminating the Jedi one by one, not to mention the hundreds of people displeased with the empire. Rex once tried to warn him of the possible danger of the chips, but Cody didn't want to think about it. He believed in the Republic, and therefore he had no reason to doubt the official reason of Fives and Tup's death. He was a blind fool.

Utapau have changed everything. He well remembered the moment when he gave the order to shoot at General Kenobi. Then everything seemed natural and correct. They were born to become good soldiers. And good soldiers follow orders. This words was into his mind for many years, not allowing him to think about anything else, and actually turning him into an obedient droid.

The Great Army of the Republic quietly molted into the Stormtroopers. There was no paint on their armor and there were no more names anymore. They became numbers again. They all turned out to be only obedient toys in the hands of the emperor, cannon fodder, which can be easily replaced and no one will notice the difference. Controlled by the chip, they themselves did not think about who they were once, and what awaited them in the future.

Year after year, Cody fought the enemies of the empire, losing his loyal men, his brothers. No longer burdened with caring for his brothers, Cody used excellent effective strategies that cost the lives of many of his friends.

Awareness of what had happened came to him much later, years later, when the chip finally ceased to operate. Indifference and detachment were replaced by loneliness and endless nightmares. But there was no one else to support him in the minutes when pain and despair overwhelmed him. He wanted to howl and cry with powerlessness and anger.

Rex died on Mangalore with Asoka Tano, and Cody did not want to think how he felt when the brothers turned their blasters against him. If Rex removed the damned chip... If that was so ... Cody did not want to think about it. It was to painful to think about.

Gregor and Wolffe disappeared somewhere in the Outer Rim and never got in touch with him, no matter how much Cody tried to contact them. Cody could understand them, but that didn't make it any less painful.

The empire spared no one, not even those who helped it to rise and gain power. Those few of his brothers who survived have scattered around the Outer Ring, no longer needed by the system they helped in the past. Some of them were more fortunate, and now they served Darth Vader, forming the new 501st legion.

According to the emperor, Cody was bestowed with the greatest mercy - to train a new generation of stormtroopers. Cody has thought that madness or death would been much more merciful. He despised a new generation of stormtroopers.

They were not clones. They were not breed for war and were not trained since they were born. They had childhood. They had families and life outside the base, they joined the army with certain goals, and they could leave it if they wanted to, they even had salary and pensions. They won't be thrown like garbage into the streets of Coruscant like clones.

In the distant past, when he came to the mess, he saw one familiar face of his brothers. Brothers were everywhere! They were always friendly, and he could share everything with them. Nowhere else did he feel the unity that was between him and his brothers.

They sharing one face, one voce and one fate. They sharing rations when they had long campaigns and difficult days of endless battles. They have always been a large family where no one is ever been alone and could always find sympathy and support in difficult times. Despite the fact that they were born to become a consumable, a faceless mass that should fight for the good of the republic, the clones created their own world with their language and traditions. They could no longer be considered ordinary numbers, they had long become personalities. They had names, their own habits, their own unique tattoos and scars, they had paint on armor...

Waxer was fortunate that he did not live to see how 212nd return to Ryloth to establish a new order. He was lucky that he did not help Boil and the rest of his brothers to shoot the rebels. Cody was wondering if he would have gone mad if he had seen the girl Numa among the dead? Or would he died with Boil in an ambush arranged by Cham Syndulla? Cody did not want to think about it, but every time he involuntarily looked at himself in the mirror, he could not help but recall what he had once lost.

The empire entrusted him with training recruits. He was the best of the best, he could pass a lot of useful knowledge to a new generation of stormtroopers. The faceless army, which brings death to all of empires enemies. But Cody saw their weaknesses and low potential. They were ordinary people. How could he bring up ideal soldiers from previously unsuitable material? Stormtroopers were not his brothers and never will be. They could not even become those to whom he could entrust his back. Cody despised them, never ceasing to compare them with clone troopers. The clones would never have made such stupid mistakes at the training grounds, the clones would not have left the brothers on the battlefield, the clones were always united.

This contempt was mutual. Cody knew very well how his subordinates treated him. Some officers openly wondered why such a relic of the past, like him, still serves to the empire. In some ways they were right. But Cody was not going to please them with his dismissal. The truth was that he had no idea what he could do outside the army. He fought his whole life and was now infinitely old and too broken to change anything in his life.

Somewhere deep down, he was hoping for a death sentence that would free him from the need to continue living memories. If only the rebels attacked their base... To die in battle is much more honorable than to be executed by people who despised the clones and did not know anything about their difficult fate. He was too tired to fight, and too proud to make one shot that would free him from the hated service.

“And how long are you going to behave like frightened gungans?” Cody asked in exasperation, tired of all this nonsense.

The recruits, who were crowding near the headquarters, turned to him. There was a strange, strained expression on their faces. He often saw this look on the faces of everyone he met this days. Did they expect any special behavior from him?

“Lieutenant Jem ordered us to wait for further orders,” reported the boldest of them. It seems the comrades called him 501. Cody had long ceased to bother remembering rookies numbers.

"Further orders? Did he learn how to speak with ghost of the emperor or is he hoping for the mercy of the new government? Brainless idiot. If you did not want to run from here along with the rest, then get down to duties and guard the perimeter of the base! As soon as the rebel ship appears...

“There is no need for this, Commander,” Lieutenant Jem smiled smugly, leaving the headquarters. He could boast of some competence, but all this was lost against the background of his exorbitant pride. Cody thought that he would not have survived on the battlefield and day. " To be honest, I assumed that you would decide to resist. But I don't blame you, Commander. This is part of your nature. As far as I know, loyalty is laid at the genetic level in clones and therefore you cannot betray, even if you want. Am I wrong?

That is why everyone looked at him with such a strained expression? They believed that something would click in his head and he would fight the rebels like an obedient machine that could not fail to follow the program? Cody was glad that bucket hiding his face at the moment. This is not the first time that he has been compared to a meat droid, and perhaps not the last. The empire did a great job, and now no one took the clone differently than the obedient, inhuman machine.

         Cody clenched his fists, forcing himself not to move. He was not going to give Jem what he wanted, and what the all rookies desired. All those people here are morons who would not survive a day in a real battle. This battalion was not worth a dozen clones of the Great Army of the Republic. And therefore it was not worth falling to their level.

“We decided it would be wiser to give up without resistance,” Jem continued, not waiting for his answer. “The rebel leadership has already contacted us and informed us that if we do not resist, the court will be lenient to us. They will be here shortly with the Jedi, about whom there were so many rumors. Therefore, I think you will understand me, Commander, none of us wants unnecessary misfires. I, as the future representative of our base, relive you from duty. And until all issues with the Jedi are resolved, you will be placed on punishment cell. It will be very bad if you remember the glorious past and decide to kill Jedi. But you know, I find something quite ironic. Now the fate of the clone will depend on the mercy of the Jedi. And he is unlikely to be merciful when he discovers that you were one of the first to open fire on the Jedi!"

Cody could not stand it. How could this banta shit be better than him? Only because he was born by mother and had family? That he had where to go if he wanted to quit the army? Jem was something like Jar Jar Binks, but nothing like soldier. Cody did not think that he could still hate someone with such fury. Probably, Jem did this on purpose, so that he could send Cody to the punishment cell in handcuffs. But Cody was satisfied that he could smash his nose.

The rookies managed to pull Cody away from Jem, and someone snapped the handcuffs on his wrists.

“If I were you, I wouldn't be so happy, Lieutenant,” Cody spat out fiercely. "It's unlikely that the new government will want to have such unskilled banta shit like you by their side. As for me and the Jedi, then so be it. For someone like you, you don’t understand everything that connected the clones to the Jedi. “It is below my dignity to be interested in the life of pitty clones and long dead Jedi,” Jem said angrily, adjusting his collar on his uniform and carefully touching his nose. "Take him away!"

***

All the way to the camera passed in silence. The rookies only looked at each other, but did not dare to say anything. Perhaps they were glad they got rid of him, but Cody didn't care. The punishment cell is not so bad, especially when you do not need to communicate with anyone in it. If Skywalker really wants to take revenge, then this is his right. Cody's rage gave way to indifference.

   When the cell door closed behind him, Cody sat on his bunk and covered his face with his hands.

       There were various rumors about Luke Skywalker, and each of them was one more fantastic than the other. None of the people who spread this gossip had ever seen a real Jedi.And they attributed to him such abilities that even Obi-Wan Kenobi could only dream of.

Cody did not want to think about his former general at all, but he dreamed about him more and more often in bizarre nightmares.

He landed on Utapau again and fired again, but instead of falling, Kenobi found himself next to him. But he was not that man Cody remembered him, but he was old man with the same dull look as he had himself. The general was saying something, but Cody could never remember the next morning what it was. And was there any sense in that? The dead must remain dead. His mind often played cruel games with him.

“Maybe I saw you because I'll join you soon? Am I right, General? ”

Cody pulled out of his pocket an old and long poorly displayed holofoto. The only thing that remained with him after many years of being in darkness. There were young Cody, Rex, Fives and Echo. Happy, full of hope and faith in the Republic. Fives was the first to know the truth. Could something have changed if Skywalker believed him then?.. Or if Cody believed Rex and pulled out the chip? Would anything change, or would Cody die at the hands of his brothers like Rex? Too many “ifs” arose every time he looked at this photo.

“Wait a little longer. I will join you soon. ”

Cody lay down on his bunk and closed his eyes. He imagined Rex and Fives - how he would tell them everything that had happened, and how he would ask Rex for forgiveness for not believing him. He will be able to have a drink with Boil and Waxer, listen to stories about Numa, whether she survived in the horror that was happening on Ryloth or not. They would have had the tenacity to find her on the other side. He will retell Echo the books that he managed to read. They'll together they will discuss the differences in the charters of the Great Army of the Republic and the stormtroopers corps. Of course, the comparison won't be in favor of the latter. He will no longer be alone and full of regrets.

Perhaps one day he would even dare to find Obi-Wan to ask him for forgiveness too...

           He had a nightmare once again. He was almost a droid, unaware of what he was doing.

Good soldiers follow orders...

His mind was stuck somewhere deep in his head and powerlessly watched everything that was happening.

"Cody!"

He almost forgot his real name. There was no one who could call him by this name. Did he kill them himself or did one of his brothers do it. All that remained of him was an impersonal number, and at times Cody thought that it's much better.

Good soldiers foolow orders...

"Cody!"

       Cody knew that voice. Did General Kenobi still expect anything from him? Why he couldn't just leave him alone in his misery? Cody realized with surprise that he could control his body again.

“Cody...”

Cody turned around to recognize that voice. For some reason, Obi-Wan was much older than the day he died. He stood nearby and looked sympathetically at Cody. Feeling guilty squeezed the heart with renewed vigor.

“You are dead, sir. Leave me finally alone!"

Cody clenched his fists and forced himself not to look away. If he let himself look at Kenobi, it will only get worse.

“You are not guilty of my death, Cody,” he said softly, slowly approaching him. “I have told you this more than once.” “Do you really think that I remember my dreams?” Cody smirked, feeling trembling. He is tired. Endlessly tired of the severity of guilt, which pressed him for everything that he did, without controlling himself. He killed too many innocent people. He once knew many of them personally and many of them were his friends! “But don't worry about that. Soon we will have a lot of time to talk about it."

Kenobi's gaze became even more sympathetic.

“Luke will be very surprised when he finds out what you think about him. Unfortunately, I have too little time to convince you, ”Kenobi sighed heavily and laid a hand on Cody’s shoulder. “But you're right. We will still have time to talk about it. But not the way you think. Everything will change soon. You're not alone."

***

             Cody opened his eyes and cursed at those idiots who could not open the cell the first time. He poorly remembered what he dreamed of, but for some reason it seemed that this was really important.

"What was that?"

"Commander! The rebels have arrived!" 501 reported. "So what?" Grumbled Cody. Of the new batch of recruits, this one was the most annoying. He often showed unnecessary curiosity and emotionality. He loved to read and re-read the charter, and hoped to someday climb the career ladder as high as possible. A naive idiot who could hit the target only thanks to great luck. "Lieutenant Jem put it very clearly: I am relived from duty. My settings can make me fight the Jedi, haven't forgotten?" He grumbled evilly, recalling a recent brawl. “So is that true?” could not resist 501. Why is this idle curiosity about? “You never answered my first question, rookie,” said Cody tiredly. He absolutely did not want to start discussion, much less lectured the curious rookie. It will be enough that he will have to interact with the General Skywalker's son. “The Jedi asked me to bring you! As soon as he was given a list of all those who are at the base, he immediately became interested in you."

“Yeah, accidently of course. Apparently, Jem trying to avenge his broken nose. Well... Better not to delay it. ”

Cody sighed and stepped out of the punishment cell, leaving his helmet on the bed. He was not going to put it on anymore. 501 followed Cody.

“Sir, may I ask you a question? How is it to serve under the Jedi command?" “I'll give you one piece of advice, rookie,” Cody frowned at him. “If the new government decides to have mercy on you and leave you in the service... Do not open your kriffing mouth before your superior are allowed you to speak. Or do you expect to serve under the Jedi?"

Cody was annoyed again. Why ask such questions now? Did he really hope that Cody would tell him about his life? The galaxy will not lose anything from the death of the old clone. On the contrary, everyone will forget about him and his brothers very quickly, leaving almost no true stories.501 was not the one to whom Cody could entrust keeping the memory of the clones of Jango Fett.

“I'm sorry, Commander, but you leave me no choice then.” Cody froze, sensing a threat from his back. 501 aimed at him from a blaster. “Lieutenant Jem has ordered you to be eliminated before you meet the Jedi. We cannot take risks. You don't have anyone to mourn you, but we all have families. If you attack the Jedi, he may decide that this is a trap and then we may lose our heads with you.

Idiots. Do they really expect this to help? No. Rather, Jam decided to get rid of me in revenge for a broken nose and hurted pride, hiding behind lofty goals. Junk like Jam is capable of that...

However, in some ways 501 is right. Cody has nothing to lose, and there is no point in continuing this worthless life. What difference does it make - a lightsaber or a blaster bolt? He was long awaited on the other side.

"Then do not hesitate, rookie. Do this heroic deed, get the approval of the Jedi and run to complain to your mommy about the injustice of life. People like you will never understand what it is like to seeing a mirror face that you have shared with your brothers. They were real warriors, not like you, useless banta shit! They fought and died, so that crooked idiots like you could now pose as great warriors! “Well, sir, I will help you see your great brothers!”501s growled in response, ready to pull the trigger.

      Cody closed his eyes, resigned to his fate. Traitor betrayed his own subordinate. It will be a worthy death for someone like him. He was waiting for the shot, but this did not happen.

Instead, he heard the characteristic sounds of stunning and falling body. Cody managed to open his eyes just in time to see the 501 crashing to the floor, dropping his blaster.

Cody turned to see his unexpected savior, and for a moment forgot how to breathe. It was Rex. Unlike himself on the holofoto, he also grew older, like Cody, and grew a lush beard and baldness. He wore the green uniform of the rebels, but the arms of the old armor, painted in the colors of the 501st legion, remained on his hands. He stood with a blaster in his hands and looked at Cody, as if not believing that the man in the armor of the stormtrooper and with an extinct look turned out to be his brother, with whom they often devised thousands of ways to get their generals mad.

         Cody read a whole gamut of emotions on Rex's face: from the joy of meeting to the pain of realizing that a little more, and they could never see each other again.

"Hello, vod."

“Hello, Rex,” said Cody in response, not knowing whether he should have rejoiced at this meeting or got angry at Rex for making him mourn his death for so many years. “Where did kriff you be all these years?!” “Cody...”

Cody almost forgot that name. By the time the clones got freedom, there was no one left who could call him by name. He was glad that it was Rex who reminded him of who he was once.

Rex came closer and pressed Cody's forehead to his, grabbing his neck. In this simple gesture was all that he had been deprived of all these years. Warmth and care. He is no longer alone. Rex will be by his side and is unlikely to let his Jedi touch him.

“Kriff, I'm almost late ... Did you make this poor thing crazy by quoting the book?” "Rather, told this banta shit that his existence make no sence." “Well, give him a little break” Rex grinned grimly. "We'll return to this later. Now there are more important things to do. Come on, brother, you need to get that creep stuff out of you." “Afraid of the new Skywalker?” “I rather do not want you to go through this again. In the worst case, it will kill you, starting to collapse like it was with Tup."

For a couple of moments they walked in silence. Cody was willing to bet Rex was thinking about Fives right now.

“I ... should have listened to you then,” Cody sighed heavily. “Maybe things would have turned out a little differently... By the way,” he squinted at Rex, “you could have let me know that you were not dead.” "Sorry. I was afraid... "Rex looked at him with pain in his eyes. “After the Mangalore... Wolffe told me that you remained in the service of the empire, and I was afraid...” "Stop it, I understand. I myself wouldn't want to see myself at that time..."

Cody regretted starting this conversation. It was not worth talking about it now. This topic was painful for both of them. If Rex let him know that he had survived, the empire would know about it too. And only the Force knows how it could end. Change the topic? But nothing smarter now occurred to Cody's mind. He just wanted to enjoy the company of an old friend. They had something to keep quiet about together. “You know, as soon as the empire fell, I immediately began to look for you,” Rex spoke again. “I believed that you were alive, and did not want to give up until I found you. The imperial data and General Kenobi helped us a lot, and the transmission from Kamino was helpful. As you can see, I arrived just in time."

Cody paused, as if he had run into an invisible wall, and looked at Rex with disbelief.

“Kriff, what the heck are you talking about? General Kenobi is dead! I myself gave the order."

A strange shadow ran across Rex's face. He also stopped and laid a hand on Cody's shoulder. Sadness was read again on his face.

"Everything is somewhat more complicated than you think. General Kenobi is dead, but it was not you who killed him, but Darth Vader several years ago. This is a long story. General Kenobi was able to trick death. The Jedi can do things that we cannot understand, ”Rex grinned and scratched his head. "I don't go into subtleties, but General Kenobi exists in the form of a disembodied spirit of Force. And only a Jedi can see him. Skywalker will tell you more if you want. Kid really wanted to meet and talk with you."

           Cody said nothing, pondering what he heard. If Rex's words were true, then it turns out that those dreams were not dreams at all? Did Kenobi somehow try to get in touch with him, despite what happened on Utapau? In his place, Cody would not have been looking for someone who might have caused his death. But the Jedi have always been characterized by unusual behavior, especially General Kenobi. Why then did he never remember what Kenobi told him in his dreams?

Maybe I should ask Skywalker...

Cody made himself forget about all the pressing issues when they stopped at the door of the med bay. Here his journey as stormtrooper will end, and Cody did not feel regret about this. He glanced at Rex.

“If you disappear again when I wake up, I will not forgive you.” “Don’t worry, I will stay next to you until you feel better, vod” Rex smiled, watching Cody lay on the table. “And then we will find you other clothes to replace this trash.”

       Cody laughed for the first time in many years. Rex did not deceive his expectations. He knew that Rex would not like the trash that the empire proudly called stormtrooper armor. Clone armor saved them from crazy hits many times, but it was worth a shot at the stormtrooper and their armor didn't protect them.

“I hope for you, vod,” the droid injected him with something, and Cody felt himself falling asleep.

They will still have time to discuss all the shortcomings of the stormtrooper armor and talk about the past. Perhaps he will even ask the Skywalker's boy to talk about how he met with General Kenobi. But it will be in the future. And now he will get rid of the kriffing chip and finally become free from the empire and the past. He will become a Cody again and, if necessary, will again stand shoulder to shoulder with Rex, as he did many years ago. He will never be alone again.

[imperiuswrecked]

Thank you so much for the Namor content and allowing us to ask all kinds of Namor questions. If you don’t mind me asking: what’s his MBTI and what would you say are the key things to know about him personality wise if you were a stranger who just happened to cross paths with him & wanted to strike up a convo. at one of these restaurants/events he seems to like (at least I think he does) to frequent.

Hello! And you’re welcome! I’m always open to answering questions as best I can. I know I discussed this once with a mutual but it was a while back so I took a MBTI quiz again for Namor and it says Namor is a Logistician ISTJ-A. I have included the explanation of this under the cut and tried to cross out things that didn’t really fit with Namor’s character.

I think the key things to know about Namor’s personality is:

- He hates cowards and bullies. Basically people who abuse their power over others is also someone he would hate. Also he hates Nazis.

- He dislikes people who don’t respect him and get in his space or touch him without permission.

- His mood shifts a lot even in conversation, so be ready for these changes especially when he gets angry.

- He is compassionate even if he doesn’t show it all the time.

- His compliments are very roundabout unless he is trying to woo someone then he is all poetry and dramatics.

- He likes doing stuff and having fun, so he is very adventurous.

- He is loyal and protective of those he deems as “his” whether it be friends, lovers, or family.

Basically he’s a salty grumpy charred on the outside and a little gooey on the inside, undersea marshmellow.

If you were to cross paths with him in a public setting I think it would depend entirely on who the person is, if it’s a commoner person Namor might ignore them, if its a person of importance then he would acknowledge them. He is very slow to make friends so that won’t happen right away. Flattery and compliments are usually the best way to go because he does like having his ego stroked. Hope this helps!

Logistician ISTJ-A

The Logistician personality type is thought to be the most abundant, making up around 13% of the population. Their defining characteristics of integrity, practical logic and tireless dedication to duty make Logisticians a vital core to many families, as well as organizations that uphold traditions, rules and standards, such as law offices, regulatory bodies and military. People with the Logistician personality type enjoy taking responsibility for their actions, and take pride in the work they do – when working towards a goal, Logisticians hold back none of their time and energy completing each relevant task with accuracy and patience.

Logisticians don’t make many assumptions, preferring instead to analyze their surroundings, check their facts and arrive at practical courses of action. Logistician personalities are no-nonsense, and when they’ve made a decision, they will relay the facts necessary to achieve their goal, expecting others to grasp the situation immediately and take action. Logisticians have little tolerance for indecisiveness, but lose patience even more quickly if their chosen course is challenged with impractical theories, especially if they ignore key details – if challenges becomes time-consuming debates, Logisticians can become noticeably angry as deadlines tick nearer.

Associate With Those of Good Quality if You Esteem Your Reputation...

When Logisticians say they are going to get something done, they do it, meeting their obligations no matter the personal cost, and they are baffled by people who don’t hold their own word in the same respect. Combining laziness and dishonesty is the quickest way to get on Logisticians’ bad side. Consequently, people with the Logistician personality type often prefer to work alone, or at least have their authority clearly established by hierarchy, where they can set and achieve their goals without debate or worry over other’s reliability.

Logisticians have sharp, fact-based minds, and prefer autonomy and self-sufficiency to reliance on someone or something. Dependency on others is often seen by Logisticians as a weakness, and their passion for duty, dependability and impeccable personal integrity forbid falling into such a trap.

This sense of personal integrity is core to Logisticians, and goes beyond their own minds – Logistician personalities adhere to established rules and guidelines regardless of cost, reporting their own mistakes and telling the truth even when the consequences for doing so could be disastrous. To Logisticians, honesty is far more important than emotional considerations, and their blunt approach leaves others with the false impression that Logisticians are cold, or even robotic. People with this type may struggle to express emotion or affection outwardly, but the suggestion that they don’t feel, or worse have no personality at all, is deeply hurtful.

...For It Is Better to Be Alone Than in Bad Company

Logisticians’ dedication is an excellent quality, allowing them to accomplish much, but it is also a core weakness that less scrupulous individuals take advantage of. Logisticians seek stability and security, considering it their duty to maintain a smooth operation, and they may find that their coworkers and significant others shift their responsibilities onto them, knowing that they will always take up the slack. Logisticians tend to keep their opinions to themselves and let the facts do the talking, but it can be a long time before observable evidence tells the whole story.

Logisticians need to remember to take care of themselves – their stubborn dedication to stability and efficiency can compromise those goals in the long term as others lean ever-harder on them, creating an emotional strain that can go unexpressed for years, only finally coming out after it’s too late to fix. If they can find coworkers and spouses who genuinely appreciate and complement their qualities, who enjoy the brightness, clarity and dependability that they offer, Logisticians will find that their stabilizing role is a tremendously satisfying one, knowing that they are part of a system that works.

Strengths & Weaknesses

Logistician Strengths

Honest and Direct – Integrity is the heart of the Logistician personality type. Emotional manipulation, mind games and reassuring lies all run counter to Logisticians’ preference for managing the reality of the situations they encounter with plain and simple honesty.

Strong-willed and Dutiful – Logisticians embody that integrity in their actions too, working hard and staying focused on their goals. Patient and determined, people with the Logistician personality type meet their obligations, period.

Very Responsible – Logisticians’ word is a promise, and a promise means everything. Logisticians would rather run themselves into the ground with extra days and lost sleep than fail to deliver the results they said they would. Loyalty is a strong sentiment for Logistician personalities, and they fulfill their duties to the people and organizations they’ve committed themselves to.

Calm and Practical – None of their promises would mean much if Logisticians lost their tempers and broke down at every sign of hardship – they keep their feet on the ground and make clear, rational decisions. Peoples’ preferences are a factor to consider in this process, and Logisticians work to make the best use of individual qualities, but these decisions are made with effectiveness in mind more so than empathy. The same applies to criticisms, for others and themselves.

Create and Enforce Order – The primary goal of any Logistician is to be effective in what they’ve chosen to do, and they believe that this is accomplished best when everyone involved knows exactly what is going on and why. Unclear guidelines and people who break established rules undermine this effort, and are rarely tolerated by Logisticians. Structure and rules foster dependability; chaos creates unforeseen setbacks and missed deadlines.

Jacks-of-all-trades – Much like Analyst personality types, Logisticians are proud repositories of knowledge, though the emphasis is more on facts and statistics than concepts and underlying principles. This allows Logisticians to apply themselves to a variety of situations, picking up and applying new data and grasping the details of challenging situations as a matter of course.

Logistician Weaknesses

Stubborn – The facts are the facts, and Logisticians tend to resist any new idea that isn’t supported by them. This factual decision-making process also makes it difficult for people with the Logistician personality type to accept that they were wrong about something – but anyone can miss a detail, even them.

Insensitive – While not intentionally harsh, Logisticians often hurt more sensitive types’ feelings by the simple mantra that honesty is the best policy. Logistician personalities may take emotions into consideration, but really only so far as to determine the most effective way to say what needs to be said.

Always by the Book – Logisticians believe that things work best with clearly defined rules, but this makes them reluctant to bend those rules or try new things, even when the downside is minimal. Truly unstructured environments leave Logisticians all but paralyzed.

Judgmental – Opinions are opinions and facts are facts, and Logisticians are unlikely to respect people who disagree with those facts, or especially those who remain willfully ignorant of them.

Often Unreasonably Blame Themselves – All this can combine to make Logisticians believe they are the only ones who can see projects through reliably. As they load themselves with extra work and responsibilities, turning away good intentions and helpful ideas, Logisticians sooner or later hit a tipping point where they simply can’t deliver. Since they’ve heaped the responsibility on themselves, Logisticians then believe the responsibility for failure is theirs alone to bear.

Romantic Relationships

Logisticians are dependable through and through, and this trait is clearly expressed when it comes to their romantic relationships. Often representing the epitome of family values, people with the Logistician personality type are comfortable with, and often even encourage traditional household and gender roles, and look to a family structure guided by clear expectations and honesty. While their reserved nature often makes dating Logisticians challenging, they are truly dedicated partners, willing to devote tremendous thought and energy to ensure stable and mutually satisfying relationships.

Happiness and Moral Duty Are Inseparably Connected

Blind dates and random hookups are not Logisticians’ preferred methods for finding potential partners. The risk and unpredictability of these situations has Logisticians’ alarm bells ringing, and being dragged out for a night of dancing at the club just isn’t going to happen. Logistician personalities much prefer more responsible, conservative methods of dating, such as dinner with an interested coworker or, in their more adventurous moods, a setup organized through a mutual friend.

Logisticians approach relationships, as with most things, from a rational perspective, looking for compatibility and the mutual satisfaction of daily and long-term needs. This isn’t a process that Logisticians take lightly, and once commitments are established, they stick to their promises to the very end. Logisticians establish foundations, fulfill their responsibilities, and keep their relationships functional and stable.

As their relationships transitions into the long-term, Logisticians gladly see to the necessary daily tasks around the house, applying the same sense of duty to their home life that they do in the workplace.

While this may not translate into particularly exotic intimate lives, Logisticians are dependable lovers who want very much for their partners to remain satisfied. It takes patience on the part of more adventurous partners, but if different activities can be demonstrated as equally or more enjoyable than those already within Logisticians’ comfort zones, they are perfectly capable of trying something new.

However, emotional satisfaction can be another matter. While Logisticians are able to provide surprisingly good emotional support, this only happens when they realize that it’s necessary, and there’s the rub. Logisticians are not naturally receptive to others’ emotions, not unless they are stated clearly, and a partner usually only says “I’m angry” when it’s too late to address the initial grievance.

Let Your Heart Feel Their Afflictions, and Give Proportionally

People with the Logistician personality type can get so caught up in the belief in their correctness, in “winning” arguments they thought were about facts, that they don’t realize their partner may have viewed things from a perspective of consideration and sensitivity. Especially with more sensitive partners, this can be a huge challenge for the relationship. Ultimately though, Logisticians’ senses of responsibility and dedication set the tone, and they spare no effort in noting to this distinction moving forward, the consequences having been demonstrated as real.

While Logisticians’ staid approach may seem boring to some, there is an undeniable attractiveness to it, though felt perhaps more by respect and admiration than emotional passion. Logisticians’ shells hide a strong and quiet determination and reliability, rare among other personality types, which can benefit even the flightiest personalities, allowing them to stay connected to the real world while still exploring new territory. Partners who share the Observant (S) trait are the best fit for Logistician personalities, with one or two opposing traits to create balance and to expand Logisticians’ sometimes overly isolated world, such as partners with Extraverted (E) or Prospecting (P) traits.

Friendships

Logistician friends are not spontaneous. They are not talkative, or particularly playful in their affection. What Logistician friends are is loyal, trustworthy, honorable and dependable. Others may come and go with the ups and downs of life, but Logisticians stay by their friends’ sides no matter what, with a deepness of commitment that other types may not even believe is possible.

True Friendship Is a Plant of Slow Growth

Logisticians are a very methodical personality type, and this loyalty isn’t given away lightly. Often slow to make friends, Logisticians usually end up with a smaller circle, but they consider that circle to represent a promise to be there for the people they care about, and Logisticians’ promises are not easily broken.

Expressing emotional affection isn’t one of Logisticians’ stronger skills, but they nevertheless find ways to show it. As Socrates said, “To be is to do”, and Logisticians’ follow-through, their willingness to take action as a show of support, stands in for their words.

These actions convey a sensitivity that many fail to see, but it is a quality that Logisticians’ friends come to admire and depend on in the long years of their friendships.

But all of this sounds terribly serious, and indeed it only shows the one side of Logisticians and their approach to their friendships. The other side knows how to stop being quite so staid, and especially in the company of joyful and talkative Extraverts (E), Logisticians enjoy relaxing and having fun with a good discussion about work, life, and current events.

People with the Logistician personality type don’t like conflict, and this applies to how they select their friends as well. Seeking out friends with similar principles and opinions, Logisticians most often befriend other Sentinels personalities, who are likely to share their perspective and world vision. While they are unlikely to become friends with substantially different types – it simply takes too much energy to bridge the communication gap – Logistician personalities still recognize and appreciate others’ strengths and qualities.

Knowledge Is the Surest Basis of Happiness

In fact, as if to prove the point, Logisticians almost always have at least one Intuitive (N) friend in their inner circle, despite the disconnect the two perspectives bring. These are very much relationships built not on mutual understanding, but out of respect for their mutual differences. Logisticians marvel at Intuitives’ breadth of thought, being very much in tune with their own intelligence, while Intuitives admire Logisticians’ realism and dependability, something they are often hard-pressed to find in themselves. Knowledge, as always, is the great equalizer.

Parenthood

As parents, people with the Logistician personality type are often the most comfortable. Their sense of responsibility and honor blends well with a tradition that has been in place since time immemorial: to raise one’s children to be respected, contributing members of home and society. As with most commitments, Logisticians do not take their roles as parents lightly, and will make it their work to ensure that this tradition is upheld to the highest standard.

This doesn’t always come easily for their children though, as Logisticians tend to be strict, with high standards and expectations. Logistician personalities establish stable, clearly structured environments for their children, always with an eye on helping them to develop a sense of place in society, and to fulfill useful roles.

A clear sense of hierarchy is a part of developing this identity, and Logisticians work just as much to ensure an appropriate respect for authority as they do with family and societal structure.

All this loyalty, devotion and structure are of little use though when Logisticians’ children need the warmth of emotional support. While Logisticians can be sensitive towards those they care about in their own way, it’s hard for younger children and especially adolescents to recognize this tough love for the love that it is. Often Logisticians need to rely on a more sensitive partner to fill this role and mediate between rational purpose and the more ethereal sense of emotional well-being.

Success Is Owed to Our Parents’ Moral and Intellectual Teachings

People with the Logistician personality type are strongly principled, valuing patience and hard work, qualities children often struggle with. Nevertheless, Logisticians’ children are expected to meet these standards and share these values, for their own good. This approach often bears its fruit in the long run, but Logisticians must keep in mind that their approach creates natural barriers and distance that often leave their children wondering if they’re on the same team.

Taken too far, or with mutual stubbornness, this may even set in as a permanent state in the relationship, something both Logistician parents and their children ultimately regret. It is best for Logisticians to embrace and hold to their own values, but to also recognize that each person has their own goals, and to meet their children halfway in attaining theirs. Combining their natural devotion and purpose with this flexibility in support of their children’s own vision leads to a sense of mutual respect and accomplishment that any Logistician parent would be proud of.

[probablygoodrpgideas]

Wizards of the Coast released a new Unearthed Arcana with a Sorcerer and a Warlock subclass, and a new Cantrip. If you’re interested in my opinion, read more:

Keep in mind that all of this is just my personal opinion and only based on reading, not playing!

Aberrant Mind

Flavor: Something I didn’t notice was missing from the Sorcerer until now. It’s pretty great! I like it!

Mechanics:

Invasive Thoughts: It’s a weirdly different version of the Awakened Mind feature of the GOO Warlock. You need to use your bonus action and can only communicate with one person at the same time, but the link doesn’t break if you move away from each other. It’s pretty cool and useful for infiltrations/when splitting the party

Psionic Spells: A mix of psychic and eldritch bonus spells. Nothing to complain about and the Sorcerer can always use some extra spells known.

Warped Being: A different flavor of the dragon scales the Draconic Sorcerer gets. It feels a bit weird to me, but I can’t quite describe why. Mechanically it’s okay, but in combination with Invasive Thoughts, it might make a 1 level dip a bit too appealing.

Psionic Sorcery: That’s one way to do psionics I guess. You get to cast some very specific spells for Sorcery points and it’s 1-2 points cheaper than converting points into slots, and you don’t need a bonus action. And you get an improved Subtle Spell Metamagic for free. It seems like a really weird feature that would only rarely come up to me. Not a fan.

Psychic Defenses: At first glance, this seems like a really cool feature. Your alien mind isn’t as suspectable to psychic damage and you’re harder to charm and frighten. But apart from the Star Spawn, that’s the case for no Abberation. The Mind Flayer Empire would probably still stand today if they had been resistant to the Gith’s psionics. You can charm an Elder Brain, and frighten a Beholder. Mechanically solid though.

Revelation in Flesh: You can cast Fly, Gaseous Form, Truesight, and Alter Self (Aquatic Adaptation) for one sorcery point each. Pretty cool, but these are abilities of different powers, so it feels weird that they all cost the same. (Please don’t point out to me that the abilities aren’t identical to the spells 1:1, I am aware, just trying to make a point) 

Warp Reality: Now this ability just confuses me. Do I use it to damage enemies? Do I use it to teleport me and my friends away? Do I use it to teleport my enemies? Level 18 Sorcerer features are all over the place, and this could definitely use a bit more focus as well. It’s also pretty complicated and might confuse new players.

Overall verdict: Excellent flavor, though the mechanics still need a lot of work. Apart from the Psionic Spells, I wouldn’t leave a single feature as it is.

The Lurker in the Deep

Flavor:  Watching. Potential. Learn. Grow. Provoke. Consume. Reward. Patience. Great subclass, but if someone wanted to become a Warlock of a Kraken in my game, I would have directed them towards the GOO. I don’t feel like this fills any holes the Warlock Patron choice previously had, but I can see other people getting really excited about it. I understand wanting a mechanically more water-oriented class though, so I think that justifies its existence. 

Mechanics: 

Expanded Spells: Water and Storm themed spells with an Evard’s black tentacles thrown in there for extra spice. I could ask for nothing more.

Grasp of the Deep: It’s definitely reminiscent of spiritual weapon, but I like it. Might be a bit strong though, at least at the early levels. Not getting your uses back on a short rest isn’t a new thing, but I always feel like it’s a weird thing on a Warlock and I am not sure if it’s justified here. Maybe make it a d6 and give back uses on a short rest. 

Scion of the Deep: Severely limited, longer-range Awakened Mind. A nice added bonus to Grasp of the Deep

Fathomless Soul: It’s alright, but apart from the cold damage resistance, that’s something you could get with the  Master of Myriad Forms eldritch Invocations (by choosing Aquatic Adaption). Granted, that’s a level 15+ invocation, but it still feels awkward to have a feature that will be mostly redundant in a few levels.

Guardian Grasp: Makes the tentacle more distinct from spiritual weapon which is nice. Pretty strong feature, can be used to avoid huge bursts of damage, maybe even a bit too strong, but I think that would require playtesting to tell for sure. 

Devouring Maw: Every Level 10 Warlock feature is defensive, and this isn’t. It has a defensive effect, but it’s also a pretty good offensive feature. This feels wrong to me, this feels like a level 14 feature, not a level 10 feature. In play this is probably fine, but from a design perspective this just really bothers me. 10+ temporary hit points is pretty strong, but it needs to compete with Armor of Agathys so I think it’s alright. 

Unleash the Depths: The transport part is pretty cool, but at level 14 the other spellcasters can cast teleport which, in many cases, is much better. Especially limiting it to only 5 other creatures hurts bigger adventuring parties a lot. The Fury part is also kind of underwhelming. It feels like a high-level spell, not like an entirely unique thing like all the other level 14 warlock features do (excluding Hexblade, but I don’t like that either).

Overall verdict: While I think a water-themed Warlock is great, the mechanics could use some work. I also dislike that there’s more than one feature for some levels, something that hasn’t been done before with the exception of extra proficiencies/cantrips at level 1. Overall this subclass just breaks a lot of Warlock conventions, and I think these conventions are one of the things that make this game more beautiful. But maybe I am also just getting upset over nothing. What do you think?

Mind Sliver

Flavorful spell, but I think it’s too powerful. It deals more damage than Vicious Mockery and I would argue the effect is also more powerful than the effect of Vicious Mockery. Now Vicious Mockery isn’t known for being a very powerful Cantrip, but this still feels wrong. Give it a d4 for damage and I’m happy. Also the wording of “Unless the saving throw is successful” is just weird and not how D&D 5e is usually worded. It should be something like “[...] succeed on an Intelligence saving throw or [...]”

Final Thoughts: A pretty decent Unearthed Arcana. There have been better ones, there have been worse ones. A nice bread crumb while we wait for the next major mechanical expansion (a wait that has already been too long if you ask me). I like the added lines below each feature where you can tell the level and subclass of the feature at a glance, I hope they use that in the future. 

[comicteaparty]

February 5th-February 11th, 2020 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from February 5th, 2020 to February 11th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question: 

How does knowing or not knowing a webcomic’s creator(s) personally affect when you read, how you read, and similar? 

carcarchu

It actually affects my impression of their work because there's this one webcomic that I really like but I find some of the things the artist has done in the past to be unsavoury. I don't want to hold it against that artist because I want to believe that they are able to grow and apologize for their mistakes (although they never actually did apologize for what they did as far as I know) but every time I read their comic there's always this nagging thought at the back of my head about what they did and it really limits my enjoyment of their comic which is otherwise amazing(edited)

Capitania do Azar

I read a lot of comics first, and only after I go look for their authors. So in that regard, no. Most of the times I get to know the author it doesn't affect me much, but I can't say it never happened (but it was mostly if the personality traits I disliked actually managed to bleed into the comic, tho I understand that I am more prone to noticing them in the comic after noticing them in the person)

Deo101 [Millennium]

For the most part, I only start reading a comic once I get to know someone and like them. Its a way I show them I support them and their work, and oftentimes it really helps me enjoy it way more than I otherwise would.

I'm kind of already invested, and I have a baseline understanding of what they're doing before I start, which helps me a lot because I have a hard time understanding things, personally.

DanitheCarutor

Usually I don't really care? I don't connect the creator with their work in the sense that they're technically two separate entities, and while one can't be possible without the other, whatever type of personality the creator has doesn't affect my reading experience because I don't really care about the creator as a person... as cold as that sounds. There are some exceptions. If a creator acts super comfortable with me, I'll feel more comfortable with them and be more into promoting pretty much everything of theirs, I'll probably also like their content more because of the interaction. If they treat me like crap, like actually being abusive, then I'll be soured to consuming their work. I attempt to have this apply to generally awful people too, like sexual predators, abusers, peadophiles, etc. Although I admit I'm a weak bitch for (these not webcomic related) artists like Michael Jackson, Frank Sinatra, Caravaggio (a late 1500's Italian painter who was also a convicted murderer), H.P Lovecraft and Carlo Gesualdo (a 16th century composer who was also a murderer). It really sucks because there are a lot of works out there that are really good, in my opinion, created by less than great people. I may as well deprive myself of most art to avoid morally reprehensible, or potentially morally reprehensible people.(edited)

But to get back on topic! Yeah, no, I don't really care about what type of personality you have. Whether it's salty or sweet, we're flawed people and it's dumb to expect webcomic creators to act like examples of human perfection, or be role models for everyone. At least in my very bias opinion... as someone who gets a lot of crap for having a blunt, non-sugary personality.

NOT saying people who's reading experience is affected by certain personalities are dumb! I just find it dumb for me personally, other people can do whatever they want. (I can't English this morning.)(edited)

Capitania do Azar

Caravaggio stans in the house

RebelVampire

This is a tricky question for me that comes in many layers. I don't really need to know a creator to want to read their work. So not knowing them rarely has any effect for me. If I think the work is good, I'll generally read regularly. Though it makes me less likely to comment, that doesn't change whether I think the work is good or not or my enjoyment of it. But then there is knowing the creator, which is a messy topic for me that is kind of a double edged sword. On the one hand, knowing the creator may make me more likely to comment, chat, and engage with the work as I read it - especially if I find the creator to be laid back and happy to let readers have fun with their content. I am also generally more inspired to re-read and analyze the work much more deeply than I would during a normal read too. Even if I don't think the work is that good, knowing the creator can make a difference for me in that realm too. Especially if I think the creator is super nice and overall a pleasant person, I will read their comic to support them and show appreciation for their work. But on the other other hand, there have been a few instances where I've been turned off from reading something because of knowing the creator. Which make no mistake - I wholeheartedly believe in separation of creator and their work. So for me, if a work is good and doesn't promote the same sort of stuff I disliked the creator for, then I'll probably still read it. However, if I don't think the work is good in the first place, and I find the creator to just be too toxic, I do admittedly stop reading it completely, if only just to avoid the creator at all costs.(edited)

DanitheCarutor

@Capitania do Azar

Capitania do Azar

@DanitheCarutor

BadSprite

I'm usually really attentive towards the comics my friends make. Since I talk to them on a more regular basis, it's easier for me to remember to keep up reading. That aside, I really don't look into the author when reading a comic I usually let the content speak for itself.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Knowing the creator doesn't typically affect my reading habits, unless I was sort of on the fence about continuing to read their work in the first place. So if the comic is meh... and I found out that the creator is not so great either, I will likely drop the comic. But on the other hand, if the creator is really honest and open with their audience, and generally kind, I can forgive a lot of their artistic mistakes. I will say though that with comics that I am really engaged in, I usually seek out the artist's social media to learn more about them. And the more I learn about them usually only makes me more involved in engaging.

kayotics

I don’t HAVE to know the author to read the comic, but knowing them does change my reaction to their comic. I have a lot of friends who are authors, and I’m more likely to read their comics when I probably wouldn’t have found them otherwise. On the other hand when I’m reading a comic and something happens that makes me like them as a person less, it’s harder for me to enjoy the comic, and I usually end up dropping it. Overall, I prefer to not learn more about authors of comics that I’m already invested in.

Ranger

I don't personally know any other creators, so usually I take the comic alone, but sometimes the creator turns out to be more interesting than the comic. penny-arcade.com is one like that, for me, I don't regularly read anymore but I follow the miniature-painting that they do, still. Someone mentioned hoping that comic creators learn and apologize, and that has been the case for that particular comic, as well, they've done some stupid stuff and apologized for it, and hopefully grown from it. It would seem to me that if you have an active social media presence you're going to eventually make a stupid mistake, so I hope if it ever happens to me I can apologize and change, as well.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Don't know any comic creators irl. But even just talking about people on this server I'm definitely more invested in Phantomarine and Ingress than I otherwise would be because I've seen the authors on this discord and others. Also some comics I've found through other discords or forums. I would still be reading the comics otherwise, but maybe not following week-by-week. There are also many other comics from people here that I've checked out and found to be not my cup of tea, but I read way more of them than I otherwise would have. Maybe in an ideal world we wouldn't be affected by our opinions of the authors, but I can't help it. Anyways, one of the most unique things about webcomics is our ability to talk to comic authors and readers directly.

Question to other comic creators here: Do you think that your own social media presence is one that makes people like your comic more?(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I don't know if it has made my readers like my comic more. In fact, very few of my readers actually follow my social media accounts. That being said, I think social media has gotten me a few new readers.

It's more of an audience growth thing than a discussion about my comic

I wish readers would discuss my comic outside of the comment section more, haha

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

If I find a comic I like, I often want more of its 'side content' - and I often get that side content by finding and following the creator and seeing other things they do or like. So many times, the webcomics we create are little windows into ourselves - things we like, hold dear, hold to be important, want to say, etc. So seeing the creator just be themselves, it's almost like I'm getting more of the flavor of the webcomic, but under a different light. And it does keep me much more engaged if I know them and they know me. I think a healthy social media presence can absolutely help build an audience - I'm lucky that all of my comic's 'fans' (that still sounds yucky to say, blech!) have become my friends in some way. I've often thought my work is like a friend trap - if people like my comic, and my comic is an extension of myself, they might like me too. So we end up befriending each other anyway

Deo101 [Millennium]

That kind of "friend trap" idea is how I feel about it too hehe

Ranger

I get way more traffic on my website for my comic than I have followers, so I guess it probably is more that my media funnels to my comic than my comic to the media.

DanitheCarutor

Eeeh Unless it's comic related I'm not much for small talk, or openly letting people know what kind of person I am. I'll talk about my interests, and some mental health stuff because I know being open about that is important, but that's it. Personally I would rather readers 100% focus on my comic without noticing me.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

If a friend of mine makes a comic, I want to read it, even if it’s a genre I really don’t like. It helps me understand them better, because I know I personally express a lot of myself through my comics. I’m not a very open or trusting person, so I will express things through my art that I won’t otherwise talk about, and I think it can be the same for other people, as well. Apart from friends, I really do like getting to know the creators of comics I like. I like when they share a bit about themselves under the comic updates, even if it’s not about the drama of their life; just talking about little things like movies they watched or a book they enjoyed. I like to know there’s a person behind the art, and I often feel less engaged by comics if the creator stays detached and never writes blogs or participates in the comments. I want to get to know them at least a little, and I love when a creator is willing to have conversations with their readers. So overall, my engagement is very much affected by whether I know an artist personally. I’m more likely to read and continue following if it’s someone I interact with, and much more willing to try comics outside of my interests.(edited)

As for whether my enjoyment of a work is affected by a creator’s behaviour.... I have to say it 100% is. I wish I could separate artist from creation, but I have a really hard time with that. My ‘guilt by association’ reflex is very strong, and a negative experience with the authors makes me feel unsettled or outright distressed whenever I see their work. A really good example was one of my favourite comics way back in ‘the early days’ of webcomics. I won’t name any names, but there was a comic I absolutely loved. It was fantastically written, had imaginative and very well thought-out world-building and had so many good messages of love, bravery, and acceptance in it. I followed it for years, always eagerly anticipating the next page. Seeing a new page posted could literally make my whole day. Well, one year the author overhauled his website, and there was a new chat room attached to it. One day I ventured into the chat, only to find it filled with political vitriol. The author spent his whole time insulting and slinging mud at people on the other side of his political alignment. I was shocked and dismayed that someone who had such a wholesome comic could behave this way (just for the record, I have plenty of friends who have both the same and complete opposite political views as me. I don’t hate people for their political alignments, but I can’t stand when anyone hurls insults at people who believe differently than they do). It completely ruined one of my favourite comics. Every time I read a page where the characters expressed love or joy or acceptance, those vitriolic insults I’d seen the author write floated up into my head. All I could think about was how much hatred he was filled with. How much he hated people like me. The whole message of the comic, which had felt like a beacon of light to me for years, now felt like a lie. I couldn’t read it anymore.(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

That sucks, Cap. I can never understand how situations like that occur, where the author is so different from their work. Especially because I think of my comic as being very reflective of myself, like I'm sure many others here do. I wonder if in situations like that it is just me interpreting the work more charitably than it deserves, or if the author intentionally writes with a different voice? Or maybe it's a kind of doublethink, where people don't think to apply their morals to themselves?

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I’m the same, My comics are very much an expression of myself, and written as a way to process some of the things I’m dealing with. I’ve the feeling in this case it was the latter; that the author honestly believed his messages, but was not self-aware enough to realise his behaviour was completely contrary to what he was writing. It was unfortunate and a great deal of why I felt like his comic was now a lie. That someone could sincerely believe they were loving and accepting while also spewing hatred at people different from them was too much cognitive dissonance for me to deal with.(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I wonder how he would have reacted if someone called him out on it?

Probably poorly(edited)

DanitheCarutor

It might be a sort of escapism thing. There are some psychology groups out there that discuss the subject of relating depression with comedy, and how extremely troubled individuals like Robin Williams or Richard Jeni were comedians. I don't remember who it was, because I saw the video a long time ago, but I vaguely remember a stand-up comedian talking about how they love making people laugh to offset how bad their life was or how bad they felt. Something along those lines. Maybe it's something similar with storytellers/writers. I've actually seen a lot of cases where what a person's writing or drawings are the polar opposite to their outlook on life or their personality, and follow some artists who say they like the escapism/catharsis of it. Like, maybe the person was making a comic about being a person they wished they were, or a life they wished they had. Although I might just be looking too deep into it, and the author is just a douchebag hypocrite.

But yeah, I may not be able to relate since I'm so... me, but that does suck, and I can understand how you would be affected by an experience like that.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

It's definitely pretty hard to stay engaged in a story when the author so egregiously opposes my core beliefs. This happened to me after I read a novel I enjoyed, and then I found out that the author was a homophobic jerk. Left a sour taste in my mouth whenever I thought about how much I had enjoyed their book.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Could it have been Orson Scott Card? Think he's the most infamous for that kind of thing

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Omg

Yes

I wasn't gonna mention names

But yes

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

eh when people get to that level of fame I think it's okay

Like saying how JK Rowling likes TERF stuff on twitter(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Yeah....

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

she's big enough that journalists have reported on her already

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I won’t name names as to who this webcomicker was because I don’t like throwing others under the bus.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Authors shooting themselves in the foot tbh

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

But yeah, I can’t read HP anymore bc JKR is a TERF. Which is a shame bc I was a HUGE HP fan for many years. I was one of the ‘liked it before it was cool’ kids. Now... it definitely leaves a bad taste in my mouth when I try to read the books.(edited)

It’s always heartbreaking when I discover that a creator who made something I love and connected with despises my entire existence.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

But yeah I liked Ender's Game as well. Read some of his other books too, but those were more reflective of his personal opinions, I think. In his case I feel like his religion and strict ideas about family affect his public opinions, but maybe he writes books with how he subconsiously thinks an ideal world is? For JK Rowling maybe it wasn't a coincidence her most evil character was also the one that modified his body the most.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I think one of the few exceptions of ‘hate the creator’s public behaviour but love the creation’ for me is Hideki Kamiya. The guy is an absolute asshole, but I don’t think anything could stop me from loving the game Ōkami. Although games being a huge group effort helps, as he wasn’t solely responsible for bringing it to life.(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I also don't think OSC's books are unaffected by his opinion. Don't know how far you got in the series, Cronaj, but if you read Speaker for the Dead it was very weird and jarring how Ender meets this single mother and fixes her whole dysfunctional family by being a male influence and then randomly marries her and adopts her children even though they have practically no chemistry. It was like OSC was forcing his idea about everyone only being able to find true happiness through raising a family into the book.

Don't know anything about Hideki Kamiya, but can sort of relate. Rurouni Kenshin's author was arrested for possession of child porn but I still love that series : (

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

OH NO, WHAT?? I... did not know that. Rurouni Kenshin is one of my old favourites. :C(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

https://www.crunchyroll.com/anime-news/2017/11/21-1/rurouni-kenshin-manga-author-charged-with-possession-of-child-pornography

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Uuuugh.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I read it as a kid and I'm still nostalgic for it. One of the only manga I've seen where a fighting character actually gets permanently injured from his battles.

And gets weaker over time

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) I only read Enchantment, which I thought had some cool historical world-building in it, but after finding out about OSC's beliefs, it made it really hard for me to continue reading his work. I used to be Mormon growing up, but obviously Mormon honphobia and sexism (among other things) left me unsettled, and I left the church. So yeah, pretty hard for me to forgive someone in that situation.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

It can be hard to break away from a culture you've grown up in. I used to be in a homophobic church/family as well, and really believed what they were saying. I just didn't think about it, because kids tend to accept what their parents say unquestioningly. Of course, unlike OSC I got over that stuff when I was in middle school. And my internalized homophobia ended up hurting me more than anyone else :'DD

Deo101 [Millennium]

I was also someone who was raised in... unsavory ways. I did definitely hurt some people before I started to see how wrong I was, and I dont expect the people i hurt to ever forgive me. But, I have grown and I want to be better. So, I don't try to assume people can never grow, but it's sad when it does seem like they have no interest in it and it's been pointed out to them many times.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Church is weird, guys. Even though I'm not religious now, when I go back I almost want to believe. Holy spaces and big groups hijack our psychology and it can be hard to break free if you're immersed enough in the culture or have a lot to lose.

Deo101 [Millennium]

it's an interesting kind of peer pressure.

I don't know though, I don't like to fault people for having beliefs and i dont think it will inherently make them a bad person.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Yeah, I remember telling this kid in middle school that I didn't think gay marriage should be legal. Then in high school I found out he was gay. So that sucks. But he's more successful than me now, so I guess he won in the end

Deo101 [Millennium]

I think there are some institutionalized issues with churches at large, but it's not inherent that someone who is religious will be bigoted so I don't like to lump religion and bigotry together

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Not everything about you can be blamed on your surroundings though. With the internet as it is anyone can change if they want to.

Agree with that thing about religion and bigotry, I know lovely religious people and churches. I just associate the two because of my own experiences

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

To clarify, I don't think that being religious or being Mormon makes you a bad person. I have met many people, religious or not that are good. And I have also met many people who are reprehensible irrespective of religion or secularism. Your religion does not define you as a person. There is more to you than what is written in religious texts or talked about on holy days. I know a woman who is bisexual AND a member of the Mormon church, and she is constantly fighting bigotry and trying to find acceptance, but being Mormon is only a small part of the bigger picture. So I don't like OSC because he is a bigot. Not because he is Mormon. Anyway, we're getting a bit off-topic, guys

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

On the other end of this I feel like I need to keep my own political views and all kinds of personal baggage hidden in case of readers being turned off because they disagree with me on something

I try to keep the stuff I say “on brand” with the political messages of the work

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I said my comic is a reflection of myself, but it's also a very edited and thought out and proofread version of myself. If all my readers read my forum posts or random crap I say on discord, would they find me obnoxious?

I especially feel this when I'm trying to promote my comic

so I don't really do that anymore...

DanitheCarutor

@sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD) Hahah yeah, that's another one of the reasons why I prefer to keep to myself. I've never had a good personality, and I have a lot of shit going on in my life, I don't want to ruin a good thing by being open with readers. (at least no more than what I've already done in my time on the internet.) Also people on the internet are super judgey, make the slightest mistake or have an opinion that the right person doesn't agree with, and your ass can get slaughtered!

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

More on topic: Yeah, I generally do keep my opinions about hot-button topics to myself in my online life. I don’t discuss politics or religion or my strong opinions on very controversial issues. Part of it is those issues tend to attract trolls. Part of it is that I hate confrontation. Part of it is making the experience of reading my comic as pleasant as possible for readers by not turning my site or my social media accounts into battlegrounds. I have very obvious views about tolerance and acceptance that isn’t hard to parse by reading my comics. My characters themselves can be very opinionated, but under pages where they express harsher, more close-minded views, I put disclaimers underneath that say my characters don’t always express my own beliefs because they are written to be complicated, flawed people who sometimes have intolerant opinions. This recent page of Ashes was probably a good example: (https://www.flowerlarkstudios.com/comic/chapter-9-a-twisted-reflection/page-09-04/). While I write the messages I believe in, my characters don’t always behave in a way I condone, because my comics acknowledge how messy people are.(edited)

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

My comic is going to have a strong message on imperialism and nationalism

DanitheCarutor

@Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios) Man, about having character you don't agree with, I've been feeling that so much! Since the first chapter! I don't agree with how any of my characters are handling the situations in their lives, but they're supposed to be people, with flaws and all that junk. Although in the end the story is supposed to kinda be about learning healthy ways to cope with stuff, and learning to love yourself... or at least tolerate yourself. So I gueeeess the characters have to suck at life first in order to get better at it later. :/ I admit to sometimes taking an open, more lighthearted, jab at religion but usually with other like-minded people. Also I just love talking about the christian cult church my mom grew up it and I partially grew up in as an "outsider", it's so fascinating and so very much a legit cult.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I'm definitely more likely to jump into a comic if it's being written by someone I like vs someone I know nothing about (or worse, someone I dislike). Like I'll often see a commenter on my comic and go "huh, you seem like a cool person, I should check out your comic". Sometimes it's not my cup of tea, but usually it works out well (: . Given that I usually encounter new comics through forums & chats and stuff... It's honestly kind of hard not to get at least some impression of a creator before reading a comic? Unless it's a comic from #ctp_bookclub written by a creator who's never been on the server. It's odd... in the webcomic space at least, I don't think I've ever encountered "love the work, hate the creator". Like if there's some creator who's loudly proclaiming something I really disagree with, more often than not their comic is an obvious mouthpiece for the position they take in public. Though I generally try not to click on comics of people I dislike unless I get overcome with morbid curiosity. I'm not sure I'd say my comic matches with who I am publicly, but it matches with who I want to be? Like my comic has a lot of themes of learning to know thyself, figuring out how to handle your emotions, and most relevantly to me learning to have a positive image of yourself.

renieplayerone

I think im absolutely more likely to at least once over someone's comic if I know them in real life, even if its not necessarily a genre im into, but this mostly applies to closer friends. On the internet, however, i am absolutely more likely to read the works of people i follow simply because i get the update reminders. I also am more likely to read comics i see the update notifications for on twitter or instagram in general. Fanart i try to limit to people i know and who at least cursorily know me, just because for me i find fanart a personal thing if it comes from me (although all fanart i receive is welcome and makes me cry haha)

Shadowmark Productions

When a person is growing up there are certain impressions made upon them in terms of beliefs and opinions. When these attitudes are impressed upon you before you can speak, these are called pre-linguistic beliefs and they’re extremely, extremely difficult to shake. The reason being that they are instilled in you before you can reason. Speech is the ability to reason. They are beliefs that stem from a place that is intuitive and instinctual rather that logical. That’s why when you question bigots and such most tend to speak in terms of feelings, or they talk about right and wrong but with no logical argument to buttress those opinions.

keii4ii

My tastes are so narrow and specific, that I can't make myself read someone's comic just because I like them as a person/friend. I also feel uncomfortable about the other way around: I would not want someone to read my comic just because they like me. (Checking it out is one thing; making themselves read it even after they go 'oh, this isn't my bag of tea' is a different story...!) The thought of someone reading my comic as a personal favor despite not really enjoying it... Even if they're not expecting anything in return (they often do, but not always), it honestly makes my soul shrivel. Of course, if they like both me AND my comic, then that's awesome! I did have one experience where I came to appreciate someone's works on a new level, after coming to know them IRL. I always liked their stuff a lot. It's just there were some Things about their work that I couldn't personally connect to. But after seeing them in person, seeing how passionate they were 24/7 (my other artist friends met them too, and they all agreed this person's passion was on a new level), it helped me see what those Things meant to them, why and how those Things excited them. I came to develop a deep respect for this creator, as well as an acquired taste for those Things that I previously was not into.(edited)

DanitheCarutor

@keii4ii Even though your reasoning is different, it's nice to know I'm not the only one who detaches the creator from their work. Also I didn't think about the whole reading something just because you like the person, yeah, that is really uncomfortable! 100% I would rather someone just read my comic because they like the comic, not force themselves to check it out just because they think I'm a nice person... especially since my comic can be such a hard read for some people.

meek

Definitely knowing the creator or knowing about a creator influences how I perceive their webcomic and how much I read it, talk about it, engage with it, etc. I have several friends who make comics and I put their comics at the top of my priority list to read, and being so busy all of the time, my friends' works comprise most of what I read. And then from there it goes from whoever I remembered or whoever I liked or what kind of comic I'm feeling at the moment or so on. I do think, reading through some of the other comments (and sorry in advance for being discourse-y/that guy), but there's a vagueness I can't quite get behind when it comes to "separate the art from the artist." There's definitely levels and nuances where the creator's personality or behavior outside their work cannot be ignored and with art being so personal, I don't see how you could ever 100% separate a creator from their work because they put themselves in every word they type, every line they draw. But like I said, there are levels. If I find a creator mildly unpleasant or annoying but not truly malicious or offensive (e.g. being generally abrasive or rude), then I'll roll my eyes and probably leave their comic to read for another day. But if it gets more than that, then I don't want to support them in any way with my views. Like, if I know someone has bullied before/still bullies people in the present, I can't ignore that because their comic is cute. Knowing a person's character really flavors any interactions, direct or indirect, for me and it's something where I can't look past that, especially if it's an ongoing recurring thing.

but uhh to answer the question more directly: I like knowing webcomic creators. I find it easier to get more invested in a story if you can see behind the scenes, see them talk about their characters, their influences, see them have fun and the love that they have for their work. Even if it's just a very shallow, one-sided, "I'm just following their twitter"- I think it's good to know creators a little bit. But knowing them Too Much can also negatively impact my opinion of them and their work, so I dunno.

[an-abundance-of-castiels]

Best Left Forgotten

Part 16: Lost

Series Summary: You wake up in the bunker with a serious head injury and no memory of the last year or the Winchesters and find that Dean is avoiding you. You are determined to find out the truth about what happened but maybe the truth is best left forgotten.

Characters: Dean x Reader, Sam

Warnings: language, Season 10 Spoilers

Word Count: 2075

General Disclaimer: I do not own the gif or any of the Supernatural properties or characters. This is a fan piece and is intended to be enjoyed only as such.

A/N: This is my first fic so any and all feedback is appreciated! A HUGE thanks to @weirdochick56 for rough beta-ing and encouraging me to pick this up again and give it another try in the first place!

Best Left Forgotten Masterlist

Missed Part 15?

**********

It didn’t take long for Sam and Cas to sneak you out of the hospital. You were frankly surprised at how simple it was. You changed into the street clothes Sam had brought you, kept your head down, and walked right out. And now you are standing awkwardly in front of Rowena and Crowley.

Sam is bickering with Cas about leaving him here to finish the spell. “Cas, finding Dean won’t matter unless we can remove the mark!” Sam insists.

You smirk as Crowley rolls his eyes so hard the whites of them are the only things that show.

“What about the consequences?” Cas protests, “Dean said-”

“Dean guessed!” You interject angrily. “Think about the consequences of not doing it. I won’t let him go, I can’t. You know that Cas.” Your voice is barely a whisper by the end. You swallow the things you can’t speak out loud.

“We’ll have to watch him murder until he turns into a demon again. Do you want that?” Sam tries to guilt Cas.

Cas looks torn. He opens his mouth to speak and then closes it.

There’s a moment of silence between you three. Cas looks at Sam and then you. You notice the slight twitch in his mouth. His tell. A crack in his resolve.

You don’t have time for this, you need to find Dean, “Cas.”

He turns to you.

You grab his hand. “Cas. Please.” You look into his eyes desperately and for just a moment you let the fear consume you.. All of the things you can’t bear to say about what watching Dean murder the world will do to you washes over you. How it will tear your very self in half.

You aren’t sure what he sees there, but his expression shifts to a pained one as he looks into your desperate eyes. You get the feeling he knows something that you don’t. After a moment, his frown unfurls and relaxes to an even smile. “Okay, Y/N.” He looks down for a moment. Then he looks up with a small smile. “I owe you one anyway. You did save my life back there.” He pulls you into a rare, tight hug.

“Thank you, Cas.” You mummer as you close your eyes and hold him tight. You linger a moment too long and savor the warmth. You have accepted that this may be the last time you see him. If you fail to save Dean, you are certain that, one way or another, you will not make it out alive. You expect fear and sadness to wash over you, but instead you feel love for Cas, for your whole family. As if your heart is taking its last beats to love them as much as possible. You feel your resolve strengthen.

————————————

You stare silently out the window as tall pine trees fly by. On any other day, you would be riding with the windows down, taking in the warm smell of pine needles baking in the sun. You don’t really see them though and the moments pass without a second thought from you about your favorite part of summer. You’re too busy playing over the memory that came to you after the gunshot. Dean got out. How did you and Sam get him back? As much as your brain screams out to you that you don’t want to know, you have a sneaking suspicion that if you want to save Dean, you are going to have to know. He’s just a little lost right now. Like you were when you woke up without your memories, without the knowledge of how complete you were after you met him. He’s lost his heart, his soul, his very being, and it’s your job to find him.

You turn to look at Sam. He is staring straight ahead, eyes full of determination. Even if you don’t make it, you will make sure Sam gets out. But you need to know something first. Before you walk into all of this mess.

“Sam. I need to know what happened after we shut the power off.” You say evenly, gauging his reaction.

Sam’s head snaps to you. And he almost runs the car off the road. You grab the dashboard in a panic to brace for impact. Sam yanks the car back onto the road. You sigh in relief and your muscles unclench as he begins to slow down. He pulls off at a gas station and turns to look at you. “What?!” Sam stares daggers into you. Shock and disbelief all over his face.

“I remembered the last injection while I was out from surgery. The last thing I remember is turning the power off.” You look him in the eye. You finally allow the pain, conflict, and confusion that has ruled your life to take over your face. You are desperate. “Sam, I need to know. Before I walk into this. How did I lose my memory?”

Sam studies you closely. “I love you Y/N. I don’t want you to hate me.” Sam looks down in shame, “but if I tell you, I’m afraid of what will happen to you. You might pass out and I need you awake. I need you to help me save Dean.” He looks back up, begging you with his eyes.

You look down at your hands and pick dirt out from under your nails as you think for a moment. He’s right. Cas said remembering the trauma could have unexpected effects. So now you have to decide what’s more important: saving Dean or knowing the truth?

Dean is a part of you. Nothing you remember will change that.

You glance over at a very anxious Sam. “Okay, Sam. Let’s find Dean.”

Sam lets out a breath and you see his shoulders relax slightly. “Thank you, Y/N.” Sam pulls the car back out on to the road and begins speeding towards the tip that Rudy gave you. “Let’s find my brother and bring him home.”

————————————

You stare out the window thinking about Rudy. The girl that Dean “saved” may never recover from the trauma of him just letting his hunter friend bite the dust. Poor Rudy. He wasn’t the smartest, but he didn’t deserve to die like that.

 Something black catches your attention and you turn to look at it.

“Over there! It’s Baby!” You point to a dingy motel room in excitement.

Sam squints at the car, seemingly unconvinced but decides to pull in. He looks over at you, nervous. “Are you ready?”

“Yes.” You say steadily. You feel so sure of this moment. You are going to save the love of your life or die trying.

You both draw your guns as you approach the door. You knock as your stomach does somersaults. A mix of fear and nerves chewing at your stomach.

“Dean, it’s me and Sam. We’re coming in.” One swift kick to the door is all it takes for you to kick it in.

You slowly step into the dim room and fumble for the light switch as Sam covers you. You finally grasp it and are blinded for a moment as you flick it on.

The room is destroyed. Every piece of furniture has been smashed and glass litters the floor. Dean is nowhere in sight. You lower your gun and walk to the bathroom. The destruction in this room consists only of the demolished mirror. You walk over to the sink and pick up a triangular shard. You see an odd angle picture of your own face. What would make someone smash a mirror like that? You run your finger over the reflective surface of the shard and intense self-loathing fills your chest. That’s what. You remember how Dean just let Rudy die. This is a good sign. A sign that Dean still knows who he is. He still knows right from wrong.

“Y/N!” Sam calls from the bed.

You run over to the bed where a stunned Sam stands, staring at it and follow his  gaze down to the bed. There’s a note scribbled in Dean’s messy handwriting on a piece of notepad:

“Y/N, I love you. Always.

Sam, she’s all yours.”

The keys to baby lay on the note.

Sam looks up at you with hopelessness and desperation in his eyes. You want to save Sam from all this but you ca-

Sam peeks around the corner and motions for you to look. You peek around him and see nothing. You lean back and see a hammer coming at your face. You dodge it and Sam shoves you away from Dean. You get a good look at him and see that he has a hammer in one hand and a knife in the other. Sam and Dean are locked in a wrestling match. You are frozen in place. Half of you doesn’t want to hurt Dean and the other half wants to save Sam. You can’t comprehend Dean hurting Sam… It’s Dean’s eternal responsibility to protect his little brother at all costs. It just doesn’t make sense. You simply.. can’t move.

Dean lets out a sick laugh as he starts to get the upper hand on Sam. Sam turns to you and screams, “RUN! GET OUT! GET CAS! RUN!!!!”

His scream breaks your stupor and a primal survival instinct takes over. You take off, running for your life, adrenaline and pure fear coursing through your veins. You hear Sam’s pained screams echoing down the hall and they yank you out of your instinct driven need to flee. His pain cuts you all the way into the center of your chest and you stop in your tracks. He’s losing and you can’t leave him. He is your family. You take a deep breath. This is Dean. Dean would never hurt you. You just have to make him stop and look at you. You can do this. You ignore the urge to flee and take off towards the sick laughing and screaming.

“DEAN. STOP!” You scream as commandingly as possible as you come to a stop in front of them. In just a few minutes, he has beaten Sam so badly that his blood stains the wall, floor, and Deans t-shirt. Your brain rejects what lies in front of you: that Dean has beaten his little brother within an inch of his life. You push down the horror that you can’t afford to feel.

Dean stops in his tracks and turns to you.

“Sop Y/n… e’ll kill you.” Sam struggles to spit out along with some blood. He tries to get up, but his leg is definitely broken and he falls. You grit your teeth and fight back the urge to go to Sam. You focus all your energy on Dean.

“Dean, look at me and just breath. Please. Please look at me.” You look him in the eye. Your body is screaming in fear, but this is Dean, your other half, the person you cannot live without and who cannot live without you. And he would never hurt you.

Dean looks into your eyes… his eyes soften and his shoulders relax. The tight muscles in his face fall as the rage slips away. And suddenly he’s your Dean again and there is nothing to fear anymore. “Y/N?” Tears start to run down his face.

“It’s okay baby.” You coo at him and without deciding to, you walk to him.

He spreads his arms open and you fall into them. You fit perfectly. You were made to rest in these arms for forever. He holds you tight and you breathe in his scent.

You wake up in the backseat of Baby. You had some kind of dream. A dream about saving Dean. Dean! Not a dream, you correct yourself, a memory.

You jump out of the car and take in your surroundings hurriedly. You have no idea how much time has passed. What if you’re too late? You are outside an old bar and the lights are on inside. You hear Sam yell out from inside and without thinking you dash in the door. You register Sam and Dean beating the shit outta each other in front of a tall, solemn-looking man.

Dean and Sam haven’t noticed your entrance and you watch Dean launch a glass at Sam. Sam ducks as you yell out. “Dean!”

His eyes meet yours as the glass smashes into the side of your head

And

shatters.

The world goes

black.

Part 17 

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[anabantoid]

Are you really getting what you pay for?

Petco, Petsmart, Pet Supplies Plus, Petland, and other chain shops are notorious for the amount of poorly cared for bettas that are sold for pretty cheap. You can get dragon scale bettas, halfmoons, plakats, rose petals and dumbos for less than the cost of a full tank of gas. Of course, there is a stigma associated with buying this mass produced bettas. They’re unhealthy, they feed a market that needs heavy regulation from consumers, and over all are treated in poor conditions, inhumane conditions. 

We don’t feel good buying these bettas sometimes, but we love the animal, so we seek other options. We go onto aquabid or ebay and see gorgeous bettas, and expensive ones too. You can find some nice looking fish for about the4 same cost in the store, not counting the exorbitant fee for transhipping, or you can find some that seem outrageously expensive. But you get what you pay for, right? If you’re investing so much into a fish, you’re going to be getting a healthier fish than the ones you’d find in the store, isn’t that right?

Not necessarily.

Now I need to preface this by saying I do like bettas, they are charming fish with a lot of personality that are also incredibly accessible and relatively affordable to care for. I have four bettas of my own, they’re important to me, but I acknowledge the pitfalls that come with the domestic betta we all drool over. I am speaking from my own examples, as well as the many collected examples I can recall from the three or so years I’ve been around fishblr and seen the rise and fall of everyone’s bettas.

The goal of this isn’t to call anyone out. The goal of this is for you, the consumer, to be aware of where you might wanna be spending a lot of money, and what you’re ultimately getting in return. I do feel like it is predatory for a seller to market a fish they know is unhealthy, critically inbred and overpriced without much remorse. I do feel that the onus is on the seller and the breeders for pushing these fish that look stunning but are genetic train wrecks that will die within two or three years, especially when you may be spending well over a hundred dollars on a fish in the end. The sellers know this, they are well aware of how unhealthy a betta is, but are more than willing to hype up a fish and charge the consumer a ridiculous price for a fish that is no different than a fish bought from Petco. I am using Glee Bettas, the breeder that Space City Fish uses for the bettas they sell, as the example for this post specifically because Space City Fish markets to tumblr heavily and they know that fishblr is into bettas. They target fishblr specifically because bettas are the most popular fish here. 

I’d like to start with a fish we know a lot about, the dragon scale betta. What is a dragon scale betta though, other than a betta with pretty, metallic or opalescent scales? Dragon scale bettas are bettas who have essentially had the genes that go into making metallic scales turned on into overdrive. All bettas have the potential to develop iridescent or metallic looking tissues and scales, it comes right from the wild betta splendens.

As you can see, the betta above has very light hints of metallic iridescence to it.

These bettas, all from Glee Bettas and all used by Space City Fish as the transhipper/proxy seller, are extreme forms of dragon scale bettas who are “full mask”, meaning their scales are thickened all the way to their face, and in the last one, are starting to over take the fish’s eyes, rendering them blind. A betta that is already blind is being sold to the consumer for a luxury price. An already unhealthy fish is being sold to you for more than what you’d pay for a fish from Petco.

Aside from being blind, dragon scales are notorious for developing tumors. Why does this happen? It is most likely because the proteins that are supposed to tell the other proteins to stop producing so much tissue simply don’t exist or are so low in number that the tissue simply continues to grow. Without an ‘on/off’ switch for this gene, it simply keeps happening. We simply wouldn’t have a dragon scale betta unless they were bred for this trait, a trait that ultimately kills the fish or decreases their quality of life drastically. 

I had a dragon scale girl I bought from an LFS who imported bettas, Zelda. Zelda started developing a tumor near her pectoral fin and I was concerned, but figured it wouldn’t effect her. About a month later, she began forming another tumor behind her gill, which was getting large enough to start pushing her gill into a permanently open position. Soon, I noticed one side of her body bulged more than the other and figured she had internal tumors developing too. I had her for six months before her organs failed and she exhibited some of the worst dropsy I ever saw in a betta and ultimately euthanized her. 

Let’s start off with koi bettas next, which will be relatively short. Kois are simply marble plakats sold to you under deceptive pricing. The koi sold to you is young, under 6 months, and hasn’t had any changes to its coloring yet. Above is a young koi female who has yet to undergo any color change.

Here’s Tony when I first got him.

Here’s Tony now.

Totally different fish, right? Nope! Same exact betta, he simply lost all of his unique coloring and it all blended into one ugly mass of blacks, blues and red. All the yellow vanished. 

He’s bright, he’s perky, but would you pay $20 for him now? How about $30? Or $40? $50? Because you’re ultimately paying a luxury fee for a betta that looks how it does in photos as a 3 month old and will never look like that again for the rest of its life.

And do I really need to mention the struggles bettas with huge fins have? We’re all aware of what fin biting is, an unnatural behavior that bettas exhibit when they are stressed and unable to move the way they think they should. Go back to that wild betta video and see how small those fins are. Bettas are ambush micropredators, they are capable of immense bursts of speed very suddenly. A domestic betta hasn’t lost that drive to move in that manner, the bettas above are just as likely to want to move in quick bursts of speed as a smaller finned betta, but they can’t. They don’t understand why their bettas are weighed down by these incredible amounts of finnage. The rays to their fins may be broken, they may have torn tissue, and they fall to fin rot because of the torn tissue that’s exposed to bacteria found in their water. Or they bite. They bite off their fins because it’s the only way to lessen the amount of fins they have so that they can move.

This behavior should be held in the same regard as feather plucking in parrots. No animal willingly harms itself without encountering incredible stress from either its environment or something affecting their way of life. A betta with heavy fins that ultimately will fin bite should not be regarded with awe or the need to buy it, but be seen as an animal that is unable to preform the natural behaviors a betta is wired to do.

Again, you’ll be spending a lot of money on a fish that can’t do what it wants to do, which is move around and be a fish. 

We all know that bettas are unhealthy, pet store bettas are as sickly as bettas bred by Thai importers. There is no difference between these bettas but their price tags. 

What you do with your money is ultimately up to you, however if you feel the need to buy a betta, there is little difference between going out and getting one from a chain store than from a seller like Space City Fish.

[the-energon-hole]

Oh! Oh! How about TFP bots headcannons about them and their human s/o rising their hybrid sparkling (let's pretend biology works that way)? Like, their reaction when they heard the lil' bitlets' first words and sruff?

((A/N So this Headcanon request, I took it and I ran away with it-

Basically, I ran under the idea that Cybertronians can merge and create life kind of like Asari can from Mass Effect- it is a child that is both Cybertronian and Human, but the species is Cybertronian just to keep things simple. I also ran with the idea that all the Cybertronians were carriers, just to keep reader in a gender neutral status.

Basically, I like dhow these turned out, even if it took me forever to write them!~))

Optimus Prime

-Optimus likes to consider himself a rather emotionally distant partner, and he generally prefers it to stay this way due to his place in both the war against Megatron and in Cybertronian Society as a leader. He would feel so awful if his enemies or those who oppose him used you as a bargaining chip against him- sometimes those thoughts keep him awake at night as you sleep soundly on his chest without any worry about the closeness and bond the two of you share. His emotional distance seems to lower as his inhibitions seem to fail him when the genetic merge happens- as he has brought in a new life form that is created based off of both yours and his genetic material… your child. The Sparkling is so beautiful that when he gazes upon the young one’s face, he is reminded of why he fights and what he must do to preserve all life- even if will cost him his own life. No matter how hard he tries, he cannot bring himself to be distant from you, or his beautiful baby sparkling.

-You have to come to terms with you may not live long enough to see this child grow and become a full Cybertronian bot, you will at most, be able to witness the little bitlet grow to be in its second frame form- when it is finally able to begin growing into its much bigger form. It was sad, but also heartwarming to leave a piece of yourself to always be with Optimus- even when you have long passed and are unable to be the comfort he needs in this dark and cruel universe when everything seems to be stacked against him. He, too, is grateful that this union has created something he can cherish till the end of his days (even if he projects he will not outlive you).

-Watching the small squishy thing begin to form its outer armor was rather amazing, a formation of its harder exoskeleton as the protoform began to harden to protect the sparkling as Ratchet put it bluntly to you when you asked him the questions about the change. Ratchet also informed you it wouldn’t be much longer than a human earth year that the small things will begin to look more like an individual and form the first pieces of its outer frame, rather than just be a small lump of grey protoform- this change also comes with the formation of the voice box and the growth of its small t-cog and other vital organs. He also said before long you wouldn’t have to feed the sparkling through a bottle anymore and it will be perfectly capable of consuming and processing regular energon very soon- You can’t say you are looking forward to that change happening in the near future.

Arcee

-When you heard the news that Arcee was sparked with a new creation that was based off of both yours and her genetic makeup, to say you were ecstatic was an understatement, in fact if memory serves you ended up crying (which just upset Arcee as she would start to leak if you started to leak). Jack was at first apprehensive about Arcee being a mother, but seeing how well you both took the news- and the fact you were appointing him as a guardian (God Father) of the child, made him change his mind pretty fast. You would have to ask Arcee later how the bond made her spark, when you two have fooled around quite a lot before she was conceived- it was probably different for Cybertronians than it was for humans.

-You would absolutely fawn over the newborn sparkling after it was born- wrapping it up in nests of blankets and pillows when you would hang out in the main room of the base, holding it gently and reading childhood stories (even though Arcee said it might not understand that stuff right now), and even falling sleep with it at night while Arcee was out late on patrol or taking Jack home for the night. Arcee doesn’t mind so much, all the doting and cuddling you do, because before long the little bitlet will be too big for you to wrap up and hold and cuddle- and honestly she enjoy seeing this maternal side of you, it reminds her of why she let the merge happen in the first place. You were always so warm and kind- even if sometimes you try to hide it and be tough in the face of their war, she prefers this softer side, let her worry about the decepticons- you just worry about you and your new child together.

-Everyone in the base would always roll their eyes, and Ratchet would even get a little miffed and huffy, when you claimed you could hear words in the babbling and cooing of your small child. “That’s not possible the vocal unit hasn’t even developed yet” and “its sweet you think you can hear English words but I doubt the little one can even comprehend language at this point.” You don’t care though, you are proud of your little one for trying to mimic your words and voice even if they can’t do it or don’t understand it- maybe it’s the human genetic factor or something else, but it makes you proud how determined they are to speak and be heard.

Starscream

-He would never admit it out loud, but he was a little nervous about raising the new spark that was inside of him- not that he was incapable, as he was capable of anything! No, it was going to be easy raising a little bitlet, he was nervous about what the little thing would look and act like and sure it was going to be a cybertronian inside and out, hybrids just have some odd quirks he has heard about. Certainly he has seen hybrid Cybertronians before- but never ones with these organic humans. He just really hopes it turns out to be more like him, no offense to you and your personality- but you cannot out beat his looks and personality! They can always use many more Energon Seekers on their side anyway, and he wouldn’t admit it to anyone but you- the one thing that puts his mind at ease and excites him is when he gets to teach the new young life how to fly. It was the one thing that made him feel free when the pressures of life stack against him, and he absolutely couldn’t wait to share that with his little sweet spark.

-You did not have much experience with younger children, but even then how much would your experience with human children help you raise one of Cybertronian decent. Damn, thinking about it, your child is going to be about three stories taller than you- it is going to be an adjustment to say the least. You were excited to help raise this new life with your partner Starscream, and it also helps to have Knockout in your corner too- even if the doc is compiling a list of frame colors that would be compliment a new seeker. From your small understanding, the sparkling will not have an outer frame for a very long time. You were most excited to just hold it in your arms while you have the chance before it grows too big to be held in your much smaller arms- and cuddling with it would be it holding you…Yeah, your experience with human children won’t help in a situation like that.

-Once the young one is born, you feel a need to protect it from all the danger aboard the nemesis- not that you don’t trust some of the other decepticons, but you just don’t trust some of the other decepticons. Of course Knockout is trustworthy, you were just worried about bots like Megatron and Soundwave- certainly they would never do anything to hurt the small life, you just did not want your child to be subjected to bargaining and leverage against yourself or Starscream or even the Autobots. You find that most days you just stay locked in yours and Starscream’s room to avoid confrontation from other bots, and that if they need something from you they can come get you personally- you rarely ever seek them out unless it’s an emergency. You hope you aren’t smothering your new child, but really, how careful can you be aboard a ship full of bots that care about nothing but self-preservation and this ideology of doctorial leadership? At least in the confines of this room there is nothing to worry about, between you and Starscream, this new life is going to be safe and well cared for.

Soundwave

-Merging with Soundwave was enough of an experience to make you feel ecstatic, but the news that it has created a new life was enough to make you almost faint from happiness. To everyone else looking into this situation, they think Soundwave is underwhelmed about the news and remain as stony and hard as ever, but you know him better than that. You can read that he is excited and nervous- excited to rear a child with someone he finds most precious in this world, nervous as to how he is going to keep the child safe and out of the troughs of the war that is being fought around them. He has lost so many mini-cons, so many pieces of him have fallen apart and were destroyed by his bitter enemies and those who just seek his position amongst the Decepticon Ranks- he would not allow the destruction of his beloved and his long awaited sparkling.

-You asked Soundwave so many questions, enough to fill a book, too bad you didn’t notice that he stopped responding to you a very long time ago and just silently listened to you gush about human children and what it’s like to raise one. He finds it endearing that you were this happy about this whole situation, and he felt some of those insecurities he held melt away. He was afraid, for some reason, you might not accept the sparkling because it was going to be a Cybertronian- he can now see his view was flawed. He took you as his mate for a reason, and this was one of the reasons why, you always were proving him wrong- you were clearly superior to those around you. He was glad it was your DNA being merged with his to create something unique, as this sparkling is proof of both yours and his intelligence.

-You loved the little life as soon as it was placed into your arms for the first time, as soon as you were staring into those bright blue alien eyes- that was when you truly thought you knew what love was. You were there when Soundwave would feed the little bitlet, and you were there when its protoform began to harden, and you were there when it had to go through invasive upgrades and uncomfortable medical procedures. It was easy to see how easily accepted your alien child was- just as it was easy to see how accepted you were by both it and Soundwave. He appreciated you always being there, especially when he wasn’t allowed to let his sparkling interfere with his important work for the Decepticon cause. He will work even harder to build that better world for him and his small family.

[droesslervalente1996]

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[hainlineelim92]

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However, there are high risk of having bacterial overgrowth back into the body.As a part in the vagina to relieve symptoms and eventually cure the disease.Home remedies for Bacterial Vaginosis Gone Forever Review.While wearing tight clothes made of synthetic fabrics your body goes down and cannot prevent the growth of harmful bacteria, the bad and good ones in the field who are having bacterial vaginosis is the only way to handle BV, first, one would need to see our doctors about how to cure bacterial vaginosis can be a highly effective because it can cause the symptoms of bacterial vaginosis fast, all you need on your pocket book, both on the genital area.This can be tested for a healthy sexual lifestyle is to kill all of these symptoms.

Can Jacuzzi Cause Bacterial Vaginosis

Moreover, they will verify utilizing tests.They can only provide temporary relief from recurring bacterial vaginosis is tea tree oil, Margosa leaves, garlic, apple cider vinegarApple cider vinegar or sea salt. both these ingredients for little cost, but they also mess up the BV causing organisms from multiplying - This particular type of bacteria in the coming year.Even today, doctors misdiagnose Bacterial vaginosis is by taking oral medication.Before antibiotics were used as part of BV are Worth Trying

-- Strong vaginal odor that are effective in treating various disorders such as home remedies, can actually help fight off the BV from your body can also present in a major risk factor for bacterial vaginosis natural cures.When something upsets this PH level and I had suffered with serious vaginal disorder.Bacterial vaginosis is the balance in the yogurt and slowly insert it into the mixture, insert into the vagina into acetic acid.Among the different potential of the benefits in your diet.Lactobacillus helps eliminating vaginal odor.

The same medications that will keep you in a day.These will help you get rid of your home that can block the passage of sperm and the Smell that accompanies it are not able to live with it forever.There are a regular obstetrician, you will notice the nagging symptoms of this disease.To do this, there are many types of Homeopathic Cures for Bacterial Vaginosis.Anther interesting fact about what really is an important part of BV between women is to go for would be a mild infection, which is the folic acid is an extremely large number of good bacterium.

The bacterial counts are lowered when you have a few weeks.These treatments do wonders in leveling the battlefield against vaginosis and repeat cases of Bacterial Vaginosis TreatmentThese antibiotics may be due to an unscented soap.Women who are affected by bacterial vaginosis.It has strong anti fungal and antibiotic properties.

What you must be stressed that this method of treatment immediately upon detecting the infection.This infection can make a point of going down this route, as many internal and external remedies that are soaked in yogurt,The vagina has a fishy odor associated with a tampon.A good example would be best obtained in a majority of cases.3.Finally, one of the body is bombarded by toxins on a regular basis.

For me, I know that the baby won't be able to keep all the same, but this isn't always necessary.Are you suffering with BV and how can it affects the vagina and get back to the antibiotics used are the safest and often work faster than the good and bad bacteria.SEARCH THE NET- nowadays, it's already common to most physicians, the psychological effect on women can still get the vagina and ensure that BV and or you have a number of other techniques to bring your system and enable the bad bacteria.It is a far better option to treat the underlying cause of the good bacteria naturally repopulates the vagina, and so there are many more methods of treatment has cured the symptoms-and herein lies another issue.In curing bacterial vaginosis log, I probably would say that by not washing the vagina on a constant basis it is best to keep buying fake solutions only to see why everyone wants a quick relief.

Bacterial Vaginosis Discharge Odor

The cause of the embarrassing vaginal odor to it.Bacterial vaginosis is simply caused by an overgrowth of bacteria that fights off the good bacteria exactly in the gamut of curing still has fewer side effects:This world is full of beneficial microorganisms such as taking vitamins are also effective in vaginosis cure.Our bodies are much safer and more permanent.Drink at least ten to twelve glasses of water and then insert it into the vagina.

I'm no expert in the production of sweat.Besides, more research now shows that untreated bacterial vaginitis or atrophic vaginitis usually focus on changing the way in which case they can not cause any side effects that are not alcohol based.According to national data, 29% of women who are easily available in most cases this odor may even think there is an infection, and you will be taken orally with a wet bathing suits for long periods of time.Rather than just treating the infection is the use of any bacterial vaginosis permanently is to invest in herbal stores.There is absolutely no good bacteria in the gastrointestinal tract.