#i think its the longest tag list ive done so far

[1ittlesunlight]

Did stickers with sees gang and friends hehe :D

[hxseok-honee]

peripeteia | part 20

a/n : AHHHH I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS PLS LMK WHAT YOU THINK also this is the longest thing ive ever written ever im so tired it took all week so i hope its good!

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Y/n is sitting down by the Black Lake when she feels herself becoming faint. A cold sweat breaks on her skin just as her brain starts to feel foggy, and she knows it’s time. It was normal for students to skip class and find a comfortable place to wait on their Clock Day -- Hoseok had told her that it feels a lot like a dream, one that leaves you unable to move or do much of anything until the process is complete, and it was only after a few unlucky souls had fainted in class or on the stairs that professors started allowing students to take the day off in order to ensure everyone’s safety. Of course, lots of students still had the unfortunate experience of being caught off guard in corridors or on the stairs while trying to find a safe place to sit until it passed, so Y/n had traveled in an especially hurried manner while she was coming down to the lake. Luckily she’d picked a great time to settle down because not even ten minutes had passed since she’d arrived. She had been trying not to think of Namjoon on a day like this, but she can’t help that her only thought when she starts to feel sick is that she wished he were there with her.

The cold sweat turns to extreme warmth suddenly and almost violently, and she has to steady herself by putting a hand in the grass and breathing deeply until the world stops spinning. She can tell the edges of her vision are leaving her, the impending blackout looming dangerously close. Overcome by the heat sticking to her like a thousand burning hot knives, she starts to crawl over to the edge of the lake, desperate for something to cool her skin. She makes it there, but not quite with enough time to do anything else. The last thing she sees is her own reflection in the water beneath her. The sight of her eyes clouding over completely -- reminding her not coincidentally of the murky color her divination professor’s eyes turn when overtaken by a vision -- is all that’s left before her eyesight is completely lost and she’s forced to surrender to fate’s will.

-- 

The darkness in Y/n’s mind stirs, and she’s filled with the sensation of free-falling. As she drops through space with no end in sight, a small gray dot appears from below. It grows as she approaches it, transforming into a cloud of smoke very rapidly and enveloping her completely as she passes through it. She can feel that this cloud is meant to steady her, slowing her movement until she’s no longer falling, instead floating -- where she’s headed, she has no idea, but as long as she’s no longer falling to her death, she’s happy. 

The smoke around Y/n begins to clear, and she notes that her feet are placed gently on hard ground, not far from where she’d been floating for those few moments. The rest of the smoke fades away, the last wisps of it sticking to her surroundings in order to solidify the world she’s landed in. She realizes immediately that she’s standing in the Hospital Wing, only noticing that everything around her is gray and colorless, much like a memory, as an afterthought.

Glancing around, she finds that all of the beds are unoccupied except for the last one on the left side. The curtains are drawn, and Y/n can hear Madame Pomfrey rustling around inside, the matron’s voice carrying over to Y/n. The student inside, a young male student by the sound of it, is whimpering slightly. As Y/n approaches the curtain, she notes that in between noises, he’s breathing heavily, almost sighing in pain.

“It’s alright dear, it’ll pass in no time, I swear it -- oh, there’s no use. Poor boy can’t even hear me.” Pomfrey pushes the curtain out of her way as she exits, carrying a small tub. Y/n watches her walk across the room to a sink, where she pulls a wet towel from the tub and wrings it out, dumping what looks like ice water down the drain when she’s done. Humming softly, Y/n glances back at the curtain and sees it’s been left slightly open, allowing her access to the student inside. 

When she peers in, she’s met with the sight of Namjoon -- more specifically, an 11-year-old Namjoon -- lying in the bed, looking much too small and much too ill. 

No, he’s not sick. He just looks sick.

The thought crosses Y/n’s mind when she takes him in fully -- when she takes in his eyes. Clouded over completely, staring up at the ceiling as if lost in time, Namjoon is drenched in sweat and is letting out small, periodic whimpers of pain, but he has no idea. He’s experiencing his Clock Day, and there’s no way for him to know how he looks until it’s passed. 

Approaching him slowly, Y/n tries to process the information alongside everything she’d believed about Namjoon’s soulmate experience up until this moment. If he’d always known who his soulmate was -- if he’d known since first year -- why hadn’t he said anything? Why had he let everyone believe he was only just having his Clock Day? Why was he hiding his soulmate from them? 

Standing over him, observing the emptiness in his gaze and wondering if that’s how she looked right now, somewhere outside of all of this, she can’t help but bring the back of her hand up to the side of his face -- he was just a kid. He had no idea of the man he’d become. 

The moment her fingers graze over his cheek, sticky with sweat and unbearable heat, his whimpering stops and his shoulders start to fall, all the tension in them leaving. His eyes shut slowly, and a long sigh leaves him. A chill runs down Y/n’s spine, and she feels a deep panic forming in her chest -- had she hurt him? Was she not supposed to touch him? Did she just affect something and change the future in some way? 

Just as she’s starting to truly fall into a pit of despair, Namjoon’s eyes are opening, his eyelashes flickering as he readjusts to the light of the room. His eyes are no longer clouded, but he’s still staring off into distance, trying to process what he’d just discovered. Y/n sits in the armchair beside his bed, watching intently as he blinks a few times before sighing. He looks too serious for a first year.

Hobi was right. No child should ever have to go through this.

The sound of the Hospital Wing doors slamming open shatters the moment of contemplation, prompting Namjoon to crane his neck to try to see past the curtain. Y/n finds herself doing the same. She can hear Pomfrey’s stern reminder for quiet, followed by footsteps -- only one pair, but they’re very hurried, almost a full run. The curtain flies open, and all of the breath in Y/n’s lungs leaves her in an instant.

She’s staring at herself -- a smaller, cuter version of herself. A version of herself that remembers this day with striking clarity. Hearing from Hoseok that Namjoon had felt sick that morning and gone to the Hospital Wing just as dawn had broken, 11-year-old Y/n had raced down to see him, skipping first hour, completely unconcerned with anything that wasn’t the boy lying in bed before her. 17-year-old Y/n remembers the fear that had taken her younger self, her head filled with thoughts of only Kim Namjoon, the smart but troublesome boy she’d met on the train just a few months prior. Y/n remembers the pain that had filled her that day, wanting nothing but to be next to him, and she’s hit with a sudden realization.

Whipping her gaze around to watch Namjoon, she sees that he has yet to say anything to her younger self, simply gazing at her with an unreadable expression on his face. It’s one of immense turmoil, but there’s a glimpse of something else just underneath his pain -- something that looks a lot like hope.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Y/n’s watches the girl with her own face make her way slowly over to Namjoon, setting her bag on the ground before standing beside him. Namjoon remains silent, just watching her -- taking her in with eyes that first year Y/n had never seen before. Taking her in with eyes that she would continue to see over the years but never understand -- eyes that could only start to make sense to 17-year-old Y/n in this moment.

She watches -- the pieces of Kim Namjoon starting to fit together in her mind -- as her younger self becomes uncomfortable under her friend’s gaze and breaks it by reaching out and taking his small hand in her equally tiny one. Y/n watches -- her memories of Kim Namjoon finally forming one coherent vision in her mind -- as young Namjoon stares down at their interlocked hands, her palm sitting perfectly in his, before looking up at her, a smile lingering on the edges of his mouth.

Y/n watches as one of her most prominent memories of Namjoon takes form before her eyes, finally making sense after six years. Staring down into her lap, she tries to make sense of every other memory of him the stands out, but she realizes fairly quickly that there’s no use. Every memory of Namjoon stands out to her. Every single one. Closing her eyes, she lets out a deep sigh, her brain an endless mess of smoke and confusion. 

--

When she opens her eyes, she’s no longer in the Hospital Wing. Everything is still gray, but it’s too dark to tell exactly where she is. She can, however tell that she’s sitting on the edge of something soft -- something that reminds her of her bed. It takes a few moments for her eyes to adjust, but she’s able to see eventually that she’s sitting in a bedroom. However, it isn’t her own.

Skimming her fingers along the blanket around her, it takes no less than ten seconds to find him. Namjoon is sleeping beside her, looking much taller but not much older.

Third year. He grew a foot over summer holiday but still had the face of a kid. 

Glancing over at the bed across from her, she confirms that she has the right time when she sees a blond Hoseok -- an experiment they had all regretted participating in -- fast asleep, his mouth hanging open and his limbs all over the place. 

Returning her gaze to a 13-year-old Namjoon, Y/n notices with concern that he’s frowning deeply in his sleep, small sighs reaching her ears every few seconds. Leaning in to see him more clearly, she has to hold back a scream -- even knowing full well that he can’t see or hear her -- when his eyes open suddenly. He looks a bit shocked, but more obvious is the expression of sadness on his face. He blinks a few times before sitting up, staring down at the blanket while he thinks. Eventually, he wraps his arms around his knees and hides his face as he curls up. Y/n is overcome with a feeling of immense sadness. 

After a few minutes, Namjoon lifts his head, and it pains Y/n to no end to see that he’s been crying. He sniffles once, drying his face with his shirt, before reaching over to his bedside table for his phone. Squinting when the light of his screen tries to blind him, he opens his text thread with 13-year-old Y/n and starts to type a new message. Present Y/n peers over the top of his phone and reads the words upside down, knowing that she probably doesn’t even need to.

NJ : you okay?

Y/N : how did you know i was awake? 

NJ : you’re always awake

Y/N : okay well how did you know that im not okay

NJ : i had a bad dream

Y/N : you sound like my grandmother

NJ : got the bones of a grandmother, too 

Y/N : you do crackle a lot when you move

NJ : are you going to tell me what’s going on 

Y/N : ,,, diana’s sick,, like really sick 

Y/N : pomfrey’s trying to treat her

NJ : omw

Y/N : ???

Namjoon throws the blanket off of himself and, scooping up a sweatshirt from on top of his trunk, slides his feet into his slippers and heads out of the dorm as quietly as he can. Y/n follows, knowing exactly where he’s headed. Watching these memories from his point of view, however, is filling in all the gaps in her own, so she can’t help but be intrigued by every moment -- every step Namjoon takes, every time he speeds up a little bit as he covers the distance between himself and the Hospital Wing, every time he slows down as he’s turning corners, still careful of the prefects roaming the corridors. When he finally turns the last corner, Y/n watches as he stops in his tracks, staring down the corridor at a younger Y/n, one who’s been sobbing for hours as she paces in front of the Hospital Wing doors, one who’s already encountered three prefects who have all given her a free pass because of how distraught she is. It’s two in the morning, and Namjoon is staring down the corridor at a Y/n who’s been here since ten and hasn’t said anything to any of them. 

Sighing, Namjoon shoves his hands in the pockets of his pajama pants, making his way down to her. She notices him when he’s about halfway there, offering him a weak greeting before resuming her endless pacing. He stops right beside her, watching as his friend passes him once, twice, and then twice more. He finally puts his hand out, latching onto her arm and gripping tightly when she tries to pull away. Wordlessly, he pulls her toward him, bringing her into his arms and securing her in his hold when she finally falls into him, losing all of her strength. 

Throwing her arms around Namjoon, she cries into his neck, needing him much more than he could ever know. All he does know is that he’d been woken from his sleep, filled with an impossible sadness that made him want to run to her, wherever she would have been. He would have run to her even if she’d been in the forest, or off the grounds entirely. He’d needed to find her because he feared his chest would cave in from the amount of pain he felt when he didn’t have her next to him. He’d wanted to take all of her sorrow away, but in the process of finding her he realized that he could breathe again once he had her.

Walking them slowly over to the wall just outside of the Hospital Wing, Namjoon pulls away from Y/n just for the time it takes for them to sit down together, and then she’s back in his arms, leaning against him heavily as he whispers words of comfort to her. They stay like that until just before breakfast, when Pomfrey comes out and sees that they’ve fallen asleep, clinging to each other tightly. Unbeknownst to anyone, 17-year-old Y/n is sleeping not too far away, having drifted off while watching them talk throughout the night.

--

When she wakes, it’s still dark, but she’s sitting in a well-lit corridor. More importantly, she’s sitting across from an even older Namjoon, who’s perched on a windowsill scrolling through his phone even though it’s well past curfew. Rubbing her eyes as she stands, Y/n makes her way over to him, leaning in to see what he’s up to. There on his screen is a picture of the prefect schedule, and he keeps zooming in and out of the section with Y/n’s name on it. She chuckles, shaking her head as she takes a seat next to him and waits for whatever’s to come. 

Only a few minutes pass before footsteps can be heard echoing nearby. Namjoon perks up, putting his phone away and looking toward the end of the corridor expectantly -- Y/n can’t help but smile at how cute he is. Following his gaze, she watches as her younger self turns the corner, wand well-lit despite the castle lighting being phenomenal in this area. She’s showing off her freshly polished prefect’s badge and smiling as she does her patrol. Y/n looks at this younger version of herself and has to hold back a laugh.

Oh, to be fifteen and a total dork. 

Y/n watches as her younger self looks straight ahead, completely focused on her duties, and she’s fond of this annoying rule-follower she used to be. She remembers clearly how happy she’d been to be named prefect, and she’d wanted to do her best. So she’d polished her badge and kept her notepad ready and gone on her first patrol in a dweeby kind of excitement. Not even an hour in, she’d found Namjoon. 

“Joon? What are you doing?” Namjoon smiles, waving her over excitedly. With a cautious look on her face, she approaches her friend, who she is well aware had become a bit of a troublemaker over the years but still finds him adorable and harmless. He pulls his bag off his shoulder and starts to open it, talking as he does.

“Well, I didn’t know if patrol would be boring or lame, so I brought you a book just in case!” An enormous smile fills her face, and she laughs softly as he pulls out a stack of reading materials. “Okay, actually I brought a lot because I didn’t know what you’d like… hopefully you like books on various niche topics and magical research.” He lifts his gaze, beaming up at her as he holds out the stack of books, waiting for her to choose. Y/n puts her wand away, stepping up him and glancing through the titles. She pulls one out that has magical creatures on the cover and nods decisively as she flips through it.

“This one looks cool.” She stops leafing through the pages to watch Namjoon as he puts the rest back and begins to ramble.

“Oh, that’s a great choice! They have this awesome chapter on veelas and the genetic traits that get passed down to their children, which is super cool when you think about half-veelas or quarter-veelas or even one-eighth-veelas, which are kinda rare, but-” He cuts himself off, realizing that he’s gone on for far too long and taking a sheepish glance at Y/n. She’s smiling at him so sweetly he swears his heartbeat actually stutters for a moment, but he clears his throat and points at the book in her hand. “I should stop talking… don’t want to spoil it for you.” Y/n tucks the book under her arm, aiming her smile down at her feet as she responds.

“Thanks, Joon, I’ll make sure to tell you what I think of it when I’m done… by the way, you do realize you’re out after curfew, right?” Namjoon hums awkwardly, lifting his bag onto his shoulder as he stands.

“I’m only out if you say I am.” 

“What does that even mean?” Namjoon laughs at her confusion, reaching out and locating a piece of hair that’s fallen into her face. He runs it back until it’s tucked safely behind her ear, at that point letting his arm fall to his side and taking a couple steps back.

“You suddenly have no recollection of seeing me tonight… that book is yours now. Have a good first patrol, Y/n. I’m proud of you.” Not giving her enough time to respond, Namjoon turns on his heel and disappears down another corridor, one leading to Ravenclaw Tower. Y/n just stands there staring after him, only remembering the book in her arms when it just about falls to the ground. 

The older Y/n watches her younger self look back through the book for a bit before lifting her gaze to the spot where Namjoon disappeared, a small smile gracing her features and she starts to wander down her route for the night, almost no attention paid to anything outside of her new book. Y/n knows well that she’d return to her room that night and place it on her bedside table, picking it up every night to read just a bit more, as it was an admittedly difficult book deserving only of Ravenclaw eyes. She would eventually get through it, and then she’d read it again to really feel like she got it all. It still sits on her bedside table, always unpacked at the beginning of the year and put in its own spot next to her. 

Y/n waits as the scene fades around her, and the space fills up with new setting -- soon she’s surrounded by the castle staircases.

--

She knows this scene well -- it’s the day that she’d fallen down the stairs from Tae and Jimin’s prank. She can tell by the crowd of people that’s gathering. 6th year Y/n hasn’t made it there yet, still in a meeting with Dumbledore about prefect matters that was running a little late at the moment.

This was supposed to be the ultimate prank of the year -- and it certainly was memorable, but not entirely for that reason. Jimin had just had his Clock Day not even a week prior, and he and Tae were celebrating their newfound love the only way they knew how. The entire school knew about it, and the professors had long given up trying to stop the two Slytherin troublemakers. Someone steps up beside 7th year Y/n, busy scrolling through their phone. She looks up and is met with the sight of 6th year Namjoon, smiling down at his screen as he bombards Y/n with annoying texts, complaining that she was late. Yoongi’s standing with Jin, Jungkook, and Hoseok not even five feet away, and he calls out to Namjoon excitedly when he spots the Ravenclaw.

“Joon! Over here, over here! We got some great spots to watch the show!” Jungkook bites his lip and looks away, hiding his extremely fond smile. Jin and Hoseok make amused eye contact, and Y/n can see now by Jin’s lingering gaze and their small grins that they’d been dating for a while and that the rest of them were all just blind to their very obvious love. 

Yoongi makes his way over to the tall boy beside her, striking up a conversation about his new plant and some fun caretaking methods he’d found online the other day. Namjoon nods along, still slightly distracted as he glances around the massive crowd for his favorite person. He has his back just turned enough to not be able to see that 6th year Y/n has emerged not too far away and is searching for her friends. Y/n watches her younger self make her way along the side of the banister in their general direction, and she’s very aware of what’s to come in the next few moments. 

Jimin and Tae had bewitched the staircases to move on their command, shifting them out of their normal rotation pattern in order to lock them firmly into the sides of the walls they’re attached to, effectively creating a cavern more than 10 stories high, giving them room to set off the insane amount of fireworks they’d made all the way from the Slytherin dungeons. The fireworks were supposed to go to the very top of the castle, exploding just before they crashed into the ceiling. They were never set off. 

As Y/n was looking for her friend group, knowing they’d be somewhere close to the stair banisters, but having no idea what the plan was, she’d stepped out onto one of the staircases to get a better angle to find her friends. Since her meeting had run late, she’d missed the very aggressive announcement from Tae that no one should step onto the stairs for at least ten minutes before the show started, and the chaotic soulmates were down in the dungeons, just about to execute their plan. They never saw her. 

Y/n can’t bring herself to watch what she already has painfully etched into her memory, choosing instead to watch Namjoon converse with Yoongi in the moments before her tragic staircase accident. She’s extremely lucky she’d been watching him. 

She knows that the staircases have started moving when she hears people cheering, but she actually knows almost half a second before that. A painful, ice cold chill runs down the length of her spine -- it’s like nothing she’s ever felt before, and she’s felt the fear of falling 20 feet off of a staircase.

She realizes that the feeling is coming from Namjoon -- he’s the one feeling that ice cold pain coursing through his veins. It’s as if the world stops -- one second, he’s listening to Yoongi explain how to pick the right terrarium, and the next, he can’t hear anything at all. Y/n also can’t hear a thing -- everything’s muffled, and all she can hear is a heartbeat, thumping so loudly, so quickly that it could only belong to the girl who’s currently tumbling down a set of stairs into a free fall.

Namjoon turns, and Y/n can see that he knows exactly where her younger self is without having ever seen her. With a strength that she didn’t even know he possessed, he shoves past every person between him and the banister, literally knocking some poor Hufflepuff boy to the ground as he rushes to the stairs.

Throwing himself against the side of the wall when he gets there, Namjoon finds Y/n’s eyes almost instantly -- she’s staring up at him as she falls, still in shock at what’s happening. Y/n won’t remember until this very moment, when she’s standing in her own memory, but she’d seen Namjoon take action as she was falling. He hadn’t been quite fast enough -- she’d still hit the second set of stairs and pass out right there -- but he had managed to slow her down before she’d landed. 

Namjoon pulls his wand out of his pocket so fast that the older Y/n hadn’t even seen him do it. Pointing it straight down at her, he calls after her, a silent spell manifesting from nothing but the force of his own will -- the force of his complete and total terror that something would happen to her. It’s the first time he’d ever been able to successfully cast a silent spell, having complained for weeks that he wasn’t able to get it no matter how much he practiced. Y/n feels it all in that moment, all of the soul-shattering fear Namjoon was carrying, and she has to lean heavily on the wall to steady herself, wondering how he’d managed to push past that and cast the spell successfully.

The spell hits Y/n squarely in the chest, instantly slowing her fall. It isn’t enough to prevent her arm from breaking, and it isn’t enough to stop her from complaining for the next full week about a backache, but it is enough to soften the landing and keep her safe from something much worse. They’d been lucky, really -- the stairs she’d landed on just happened to be passing beneath her on its way to its formation. If another second had gone by, she’d still be falling into the dungeons. 

Y/n watches everything from above, and she can hear everyone jumping into action. She can hear everyone’s cheers turn into gasps of terror, and she can hear her friends all calling for her, all rushing to the nearest staircase to get down to her. She can even see down into the dungeons, where Tae is holding a firework and a flame, where Jimin is calling out to him frantically to stop. But most clearly, she can see that Namjoon is already at her side, having scaled over the top of the wall and essentially taken his chances at getting down to her as quickly as possible without falling. He’s shaking her furiously, grabbing her face and yelling for someone to alert Pomfrey when she doesn’t respond, already out cold. Jin is yelling down at Jimin and Tae, instructing them to move the staircases carefully so Namjoon can get her to the Hospital Wing. 

Namjoon holds tightly onto the side of staircase as Tae brings it around to the corridor leading straight to the Hospital Wing, gripping Y/n tightly in his other arm as they go. He doesn’t even wait for the stairs to stop moving -- as soon as they’re close enough, he’s scooping her up in his arms and running full speed into the passageway, disappearing from view completely. 

Y/n watches the rest of the room devolve into chaos -- Jimin and Tae fly up from the depths of the dungeon on Jimin’s broomstick, gesturing wildly at their friends as they all barrel down the nearest staircase together in an attempt to follow after Namjoon. Jin is pulling Hoseok along by his hand as they race to the front of the group, Jin trying to get Hoseok to his best friend as fast as possible. Yoongi is clinging to Jungkook’s side, eyes wet, and she can see him whispering mantras of positivity to himself as they go. She can see he doesn’t believe them even as he says them, and Jungkook is the one to take over and reinforce the words as they run together. Jimin is guiding himself and Tae up the cavern and back around as Tae shouts for the crowd to disperse, threatening to set the fireworks off in a dangerous way if they don’t all get lost. He looks very much like the Slytherin he is but never shows to the world. 

Everyone leaves just as Dumbledore is running into the space, commanding the attention of the two Slytherins. Jimin looks back at Tae and, knowing full well how much trouble they’d be in if they got caught, they head straight for the headmaster. Landing beside him, they don’t even give him a chance to start reprimanding them -- they both start yelling at the same time, pointing desperately in the direction of the Hospital Wing and begging him to come with them to see if he can do anything. The old wizard is so thrown by the display that all he can do is follow after them as they run to join their friends. 

Y/n watches everything from the top of the stairs. She sees everything -- all of the chaos, all of the fear -- and she thinks about the fact that she’d had absolutely no idea any of this had happened. She’d passed out and woken up a day later, in a world of pain but thankfully not seriously hurt. She’d watched her friends come and go every day, and she’d noted that Namjoon only ever left her side to eat and shower when he was sure she was sleeping. It was the only thing she knew about the entire accident, and it wasn’t even close to what actually had happened. She doesn’t even notice when the scene changes, too caught up in her own thoughts to register the smoke filling her vision and flowing into something new. 

--

The smoke clears, leaving her shrouded in trees and darkness. She’s standing at the edge of the Forbidden Forest, the moon full and bright above her. She can’t see Namjoon anywhere, so she starts heading in the direction of the castle, its silhouette visible in the distance. She’s about halfway there when she hears it.

“Namjoon likes me, Namjoon likes me!”

“How did they make you Head Girl? You’re a child!” Unable to mask her smile, Y/n hurries out past the treeline and in the direction of the voices, this memory much more recent. Just there past a grove of trees sits a cluster of rocks, outlining the edge of the lake well. Namjoon is heading over to them now, hopping carefully until he gets to a spot that he likes. Y/n can barely make out her younger self, herself from not even a few months ago, crouched by the lake, running her fingers through the water lightly. Y/n heads toward Namjoon just as her other self is yelling back to him.

“This water’s cold as fuck!” Y/n remembers the feeling that comes next, but it’s a different experience in Namjoon’s perspective. That feeling of adoration she’d felt all those weeks ago down by the lake -- the feeling that had left her wondering what her soulmate was up to at the time -- makes sense now. It makes complete sense to her, just as everything about Namjoon is finally starting to make sense. Every glance, every smile. He’d always known. He’d just been waiting for her to notice him -- he’d been waiting for her to love him.

A quiet yelp followed by a bit of rustling catches Y/n’s attention, and she’s not surprised to find Namjoon has already caught her from wiping out on the rocks and is holding her gently, just a few feet away. Feeling strangely intrusive, Y/n averts her eyes, settling down on the rocks and staring out at the lake while her younger self shares her first intimate moment with Namjoon. 

A few moments later, the sound of mumbling, followed soon by paper being slapped on skin, alerts Y/n of her own exit from an awkward moment. Turning back to the scene, she catches herself running away in the distance -- truly a humorous sight indeed -- but her attention is on Namjoon. He’s staring down at the detention slip that had been stuck to his face, chuckling slightly to himself. Y/n’s heart warms at the fondness in his expression, thankful that he hadn’t been discouraged by her behavior.

“This girl, I swear…” He starts to head back into the castle, and Y/n can tell she’s meant to follow. They make their way slowly through the castle, Y/n watching as Namjoon gets lost in his thoughts. They make it all the way up to Ravenclaw Tower, where Namjoon stops suddenly just before the entrance to his common room. He’s still lost in his thoughts, but there’s a smile spreading slowly across his face. It finally reaches his eyes, and suddenly he’s spinning around in the corridor, punching the air and literally bouncing in place as quietly as he can. 

“She almost kissed me!” Running up to the door to his common room, he completely ignores the riddle that the eagle knocker asks him.

“Did you hear what I said? She almost kissed me! Can you believe it?” The eagle knocker remains silent while Namjoon parades around in front of the door, eventually opening its mouth.

“How lovely. Please answer the question.” Halting his excited bouncing to glare at the knocker, Namjoon answers the riddle with an impatient wave of his hand. The door slides open, allowing Namjoon to rush into the common room and up the stairs to his room, Y/n following behind in a shocked daze at Namjoon’s display. Throwing the door open and barely managing to get his shoes off, Namjoon hops on top of his bed, chanting happily.

“Hobi, wake up, wake up! She almost kissed me tonight -- wake up, bitch! I’m having a moment here!” Y/n watches from the door as Hoseok rolls over in his bed and reaches for something she can’t see. Their third roommate, a kind but rather quiet boy named Roger, starts to whine loudly, begging Namjoon to quiet down. She feels bad for him -- he’s been put through a lot with them as roommates -- but she forgets about him completely when she sees Hoseok’s shoe fly across the room with shocking speed and accuracy. It hits Namjoon in the face, sending him tumbling to the ground instantly.

“Shut it, you overgrown kindergartner! If I sleep through first hour tomorrow, I’m ripping every single one of your hairs out of your head with my bare hands!” Despite the pout that forms on Namjoon’s face as he sits on the ground holding Hoseok’s shoe, Y/n can’t help but laugh at the interaction, very typical of her two Ravenclaw boys. He sits there for a few more seconds, enough time for Y/n to cross the room and take a seat on the trunk at the foot of his bed. Watching him carefully, she’s pleased to see that his frown soon becomes a smile once again as he recalls the events of that night. 

Climbing onto his bed, he reaches into his pocket for his phone, sending Y/n what she remembers to be a very sweet goodnight text. Once that’s done, he tosses the phone onto his bedside table before taking it upon himself to flop back onto his mattress dramatically, smiling dreamily up at the ceiling. The last thing Y/n sees before the smoke pulls her away is Namjoon placing a hand on his chest and scrunching up the material of his shirt -- the material that lies just above his heart -- and closing his eyes, the smile lingering on his lips. 

--

The moment the smoke places her in her next memory, Y/n realizes it isn’t a memory at all. She’s standing in a massive group of people -- her entire class. They all have smiles on their faces, and they’re all hugging one another and taking photos. But this isn’t what she notices - it’s their outfits. All the same, all identical. The cap and gown.

Graduation? But this is months away… 

Her own laughter reaches her ears, and it doesn’t take much longer to find herself. She -- her older self? -- is standing with the rest of their friends, laughing as Diana tries to chew on Jungkook’s dress pants. Only five of them are wearing gowns, the Slytherins and Jungkook still stuck at Hogwarts for another year. Hoseok is taking photos of Jin, who looks like he’s suffering not only from the heat, but also from his boyfriend’s scrutiny. 

“Come on, Jin! Just one smile for the camera, and I will let this go -- my mom wants a photo!” 

“Why does it have to be of just me? She’s your mom!” 

“Because she says you’re the most handsome person she’s ever seen, and I completely agree.” Jin waves Hoseok off, unwilling to take the photo. That is, until he makes eye contact with Yoongi, who’s standing just a little ways away. At the sight of his roommate pulling a mini magical cactus from within his robe and brandishing it at Jin menacingly, Jin turns to Hoseok with a wide smile.

“I love photos, let’s take ten!” Confused but pleasantly surprised, Hoseok lets Jin lead him off toward the lake for their photoshoot. Y/n starts to laugh uncontrollably as she watches Yoongi tuck the cactus back into his robes innocently, and it unnerves her to see that her older self has also witnessed the exchange and is laughing alongside her. 

Turning back to the larger friend group, almost desperate to avoid another coincidence with herself, she finds Namjoon bent at Jungkook’s feet, trying to keep his cap on his head as he wrestles Diana from Jungkook’s leg. Jungkook is crying out in pain at the claws that have been buried in his ankle -- no one sees that Jimin and Tae are enjoying the show immensely, even going so far as to start recording the entire thing.

When he finally manages to remove the cat from the poor Gryffindor’s limb, Namjoon stands and turns to Y/n, narrowly avoiding a claw to his face in the process. 

“Please tell your demon cat that scratching people’s ankles off is rude as fuck.” Y/n laughs, reaching for Diana and cooing at her once she’s safely in Y/n’s arms.

“It’s not her fault Jungkook is such a thicc boy and attracts the attention of anything that wants a bite -- isn’t that right, Diana?” Diana curls up and purrs in response, sending everyone into a fit of laughter and comments about Jungkook’s thiccness as the Gryffindor scowls at the cat. The younger Y/n almost joins their laughter, but something catches her eye before she has time to look away from her older self.

Just there on her left hand -- the same hand that is cradling Diana -- sits a ring, one she’d never seen before. Ignoring the discomfort of being so close to a version of herself that didn’t exist yet, she approaches the girl in front of her, taking the ring in fully. A small diamond is nested in the band of it, shining brightly despite its size. She can’t stop herself from looking up at Namjoon, who stands beside her older self. He’s staring down at her, the smile on his face one of humor from the current situation, but also one of love and adoration, known only to them. 

Y/n watches the moment and knows she’s the only one who can see it, despite being the only one who isn’t physically there. She can see how much Namjoon loves her and how happy he is to be able to show it. As the scene fades, she can’t help but wonder if what she’s seeing is really the future -- the image of a Namjoon who hasn’t acknowledged her in weeks comes back to her, only serving to bring pain into her heart. She doesn’t bother to try to see where the smoke is taking her.

--

She’s staring down at a wooden floor, in a house she doesn’t recognize. Lifting her gaze and glancing around, however, she finds that it’s quite a nice home. The smoke had left her standing in the middle of the kitchen, and she can’t help but run her fingers along the counter top as she makes her way through the room. It’s spotless, but it looks lived in. 

Comfortable. Beautiful. 

Passing under an archway that opens into the main room, she can see stairs leading up to the second floor, the front door just past them. Taking in everything as she moves through the room -- the sofa draped in various warm blankets, the tattered book sitting open on the coffee table, the array of house plants sitting on the windowsill -- she can’t help but feel like this home is perfect for her. Just as she makes it to the stairs and is putting a foot on the first step, the sound of rustling in a room off to the right calls her attention. 

Approaching the room, she peeks her head around the doorway and finds herself looking into an office, lit with the warmth of a fireplace crackling softly in the corner. She doesn’t even see the person sitting at the desk until they lift their head, clearly awakening from an unexpected nap.

Namjoon stretches in his seat, arms reaching high above his head as he lets out a tired groan. He looks older, maybe by 4 or 5 years. There’s a stack of files next to where he’d been napping on the desk, and there’s a smear of ink across his right cheek from his quill. Looking around his immediate area, he swears softly under his breath.

“Where did I put them?” He’s just about to stick his head under the desk to search for his missing item when a quiet meow rings through the room. Y/n looks down just in time to see a very familiar cat entering the room, a pair of round specs dangling from her mouth. She hops up onto the desk once she reaches it, taking a seat on top of whatever Namjoon had been working on before dropping his glasses into his outstretched hand. With a fond smile, he places the glasses on his face before scratching the back of the cat’s ear.

“Thanks, Diana. I knew you’d like me one day.” Y/n watches the exchange, filled with a mixture of disbelief and joy. Never once in the seven years she’d known Namjoon had Diana expressed anything other than complete disdain for the Ravenclaw, and yet here it seems they’ve been friends for ages. 

The front door opens behind her, followed by the soft call of a voice that sounds much like hers but more mature.

“I’m home! Joon?” She watches Namjoon smile as he peers through her into the other room. 

“In here!” An older Y/n -- 4 or 5 years older -- steps up beside her younger, shocked self in the doorway. She’s wearing business attire, and she’s carrying a bag of takeaway, which she holds up for Namjoon to see. She looks poised, impressive -- but she still looks like herself. She doesn’t look like a stuck-up adult. She just looks… older.

She looks pretty freaking cool.

“I saw you still had a lot of assignments to grade when I was leaving this morning, so I got your favorite.” Namjoon cheers, moving to stand from his seat but taking the time to point cutely at Diana, still seated peacefully on his work. 

“Diana brought me my glasses! I think she finally likes me.” He looks very proud of this fact, even reaching out to pet her one last time. She swipes at his hand in anger, scratching his palm slightly. They glare at each other for a moment before Namjoon gets up, shaking his head. “One day she’ll love me.” 

“Namjoon, we’ve been married for five years and she only just today did one nice thing for you. You’ve still got a way to go with her.” Rolling his eyes, he approaches Y/n and leans forward, planting a kiss on her lips. Younger Y/n has to look away, slightly shaken by the unexpected display. Only when he’s pulled away does she feel comfortable enough to look again, attributing the warmth in her face the fireplace not too far away.

“How was work?” Y/n sighs, reaching out with her free hand to wipe at the ink on his face, giving away that he’d been napping just before she arrived.

“It was fine. The Minister’s been on us to meet fiscal year deadlines as if we’re not drowning in his debt. I’m just happy to be home.” The tired look in her eyes fades once she starts smiling up at Namjoon, who’s taken her free hand in his own and started leaning against the door frame while he was listening to her. It puts him in the perfect position to bring his lips to the top of her head in a comforting kiss, which only serves to widen her smile. 

“Well, Mrs. Kim, you are doing a fine job over there at the Ministry. Meanwhile, I was so confused about the fact that one of my students doesn’t know the difference between transformation and switching that I took a stress nap instead of writing feedback for him.” He laughs lightly when Y/n puts her index finger against his forehead and pushes him away from her. Diana following closely behind, she heads into the kitchen, calling back to him.

“Not everyone is good at transfiguration, Joon -- remember how I was? I would have failed my N.E.W.T without you.” 

“Yeah, well, maybe if we’d done more studying instead of messing around that night you would have gotten a better score.” Younger Y/n blushes deeply, barely managing to follow behind Namjoon as he heads into the kitchen as well. 

“I passed, didn’t I? And if I remember correctly, I’m the one that actually wanted to study -- you just got bored because you’re a know-it-all.” He barks out a laugh.

“Guilty as charged, but can you blame me? I waited seven years for you to love me, I was obsessed with you once we started dating… I still kind of am obsessed with you.” Younger Y/n watches Namjoon corner her older self between two counter tops, smiling cheekily down at her and laughing when she pushes lightly against his chest. Taking her in his arms, he suddenly becomes serious, his smile dropping. 

“Y/n?” Both of the women in question keep their eyes on Namjoon, entranced by him, just as it had always been -- entranced by his presence from the moment he’d come into her life. 

“Thank you for loving me.”

Y/n can feel herself reaching out to him, disregarding the futility in it, but she doesn’t get the chance to call out to him. The smoke has started to fill her vision -- but it doesn’t transform the room smoothly. This time, something takes hold of the back of her belt, latching onto her and yanking her upwards, out of the smoke entirely. Muffling her scream with her hand, she watches the cloud of smoke shrink below her until it becomes the spec of grey she’d seen when this all started. She screws her eyes shut, dizzy from the climb -- confused beyond belief but finding her resolve in the truth.

-- 

When Y/n opens her eyes, she’s staring at the lake, and it’s gotten much darker. She’s also much farther away from the lake than she remembers being when she first fainted -- she can see more of the shoreline, and she’s fairly certain she’s under a tree. Trying to scan her surroundings, she tilts her head up before coming to a stop, registering that there’s something very soft underneath her cheek.

“You’re awake.” The voice, although familiar and comforting, is a shock all the same, so she jumps in surprise, turning her head to locate it. She finds herself staring up into Namjoon’s eyes, and she realizes belatedly that the soft thing under her is his leg. Lifting herself off of him with her elbow, she takes the time to glance around -- there’s no need to examine the grounds, of course. She just isn’t prepared to face Namjoon. 

“How did you know where I was?” She says this while glancing around herself still, adjusting her positioning until she’s leaning back against the tree. Namjoon shifts next to her, bringing his knees up to his chest and resting his chin while he stares out at the lake.

“I could feel that it was starting… and I just knew where to find you.” Y/n nods, deciding to just be satisfied with his response instead of questioning the mechanics of it. They sit in silence for a few minutes, simply staring out at the lake together as the sun begins to set. She can feel that Namjoon’s waiting for her to say something, so, gathering her courage, she turns to him, holding her tongue until he’s met her eyes, which he does after a brief pause. 

“You knew this entire time?” Namjoon looks away quickly, unable to face her. He nods once, and she takes this as her signal to continue, her frustrations with him over the past few weeks boiling to the surface. “Then why have you been avoiding me? What’s been going on with you?” Groaning deeply, he leans back against the tree, his limbs dropping into a sort of sprawled position beside her. His eyes are shut, brow furrowed. He looks conflicted. 

“I was an idiot --”

“That’s a massive understatement.” His eyes find hers, and he turns fully to face her, his expression earnest and a bit desperate.

“I freaked out, Y/n. When Hobi said it wasn’t guaranteed that we’d end up together, my entire world fell apart. I had always assumed we’d be together and that I just had to wait for you to find out it was me -- I thought it was enough that I loved you. But then he started talking about free will and people without soulmates and losing the emotional connection and -- I lost it, okay? I lost it. Everything I’d believed about us for the last seven years was ripped apart… but I was an asshole.” 

“Yeah. You were.” His eyes drift down until he’s staring at the ground, clearly humbled and apologetic. “But… I understand --” When he whips his head up to look at her, his eyes appear to have become hopeful. “I mean, what you did was fucked up, the boys are really upset--” His head dips again, his frown deepening. “But I understand why you freaked out. I just… wish you had handled it better.” They sit in silence together, Y/n staring down at the top of Namjoon’s head while he waits beside her, looking not unlike a scolded child.

“Did you think I would be mad once I found out you’d known all this time about us?” He glances up at her briefly before returning his gaze to lap, where he finds great interest in picking at his fingernails. Slowly, and only after a small sigh, he nods, still refusing to meet her eyes.

“Even after everything we’ve been through -- all of the flirting and the deep talks and late nights together?” Another nod. “Do you realize how stupid that is?” He stops fidgeting, choosing instead to examine the ground extensively while he thinks. Finally, he nods, pulling his head up to look into her eyes before nodding again, gaze solemn. 

“I know. I’m really sorry. You have no idea how painful it was to know I’d hurt you… I just thought that if you really were going to choose someone else -- or at the very least if you were going to be disappointed in me being your soulmate -- I… just thought I should distance myself beforehand… But I hated every second of it, and I wish I could take it all back... I’m sorry.” He looks like he’s going to continue, but Y/n stops him. Reaching out, she takes one of his hands in hers, intertwining their fingers while nodding.

“Okay. I forgive you -- it’s going to be hard for me to trust you fully again, but I forgive you.” She squeezes his hand, and for the first time since waking up, she smiles at him. Taking her in, Namjoon can’t help but feel overwhelmed with affection, and he knows she can feel it when she starts to snicker at him. Nudging her playfully, he turns back to the lake, sitting beside her as they lean against the tree. Their hands lie clasped in her lap, a slight zap of electricity running through their palms every few seconds. The feeling is new but warm, one of completeness.

“So… what was your Clock Day like?” She doesn’t bother turning to look at him when she asks, knowing he’ll just keep staring out at the water while he ponders.

“It was… a lot to handle as a first year.” She nods, remembering Hobi’s words once again. “There weren’t very many memories, actually. It was mostly visions of the future. We hadn’t known each other that long -- how could I have anything substantial to remember yet? Actually… do you remember coming to visit me in the Hospital Wing?” 

“Yeah, of course. That was my first memory.” He hums, thinking about that day a little longer. 

“I knew you would be coming. It was the first vision that the smoke showed me.” She smiles fondly at that term -- “the smoke” -- because she knew there was no other way to talk about it. The inner workings of fate and magic were too advanced for any one person to understand and talk about eloquently. “It showed me that you were on your way -- when you showed up, I thought ‘Ah, so my future really has been decided’. But then… things kept changing.” Y/n looks up at him, taking in the expression on his face. He looks lost, confused about the truth -- but there’s something resigned about it, as if he’d accepted that the world was much different than he thought.

“What changed?” He looks down at her before dropping his eyes to their intertwined hands.

“The way I’d seen my future wasn’t the way it always turned out. Eventually I figured out at that the visions the smoke shows you aren’t set in stone -- they’re more potentialities than fact. There was something about the way our reality developed that changed things along the way -- sometimes they were just small details, but sometimes entire events were different… like your accident.” With a furrowed brow and concerned interest, Y/n leans in, urging Namjoon silently to continue. He does so only after a sigh.

“You weren’t supposed to become a prefect. In my visions, we were just normal kids who got into equal amounts of trouble and made it through school without anything remarkable happening. But you were always a high achiever, so when you were made prefect, I was surprised, but happy for you all the same… except… if you hadn’t become a prefect, you wouldn’t have been late to the fireworks show. We would have gone together, and you would have heard the announcement about the stairs because you wouldn’t have been in a meeting that had run late. I wasn’t prepared for you to fall because that wasn’t the reality I had seen… I had no idea that day was going to happen.” 

They sit in silence, staring out at the lake together as the words settle in the air above them. It weighs down on them -- the complications of fate and reality, the power of free will in a world ruled by destiny. Things never turn out quite like they’re supposed to, and Y/n can only guess how unimaginably terrifying that would be for someone who’d relied on fate for so long. 

“That’s why you were scared I wouldn’t want to be with you -- you were already nervous that things had turned out differently up to this point, so hearing that not even our future is guaranteed tipped you over the edge.” She can see him nodding out of the corner of her eye, and she finally feels like she understands. “Well, even if you have acted like an idiot for the last few weeks, I still want to be with you. I think I always have.” Namjoon squeezes her hand tightly, a breath of relief leaving him -- one that, frankly, she had no idea he’d been holding. 

“Well that’s good because I already picked out the necklace I was going to give you at graduation, and it would just be plain awkward to return it.” She turns to him in confusion.

“Necklace? In my vision it was an engagement ring… to be honest, I’m not ready to get married yet.” Namjoon looks at her, eyes shining with mirth.

“That’s also good to hear… I don’t have the money to buy you a ring yet.” She pushes him away, laughter ringing through the air. The word “yet” doesn’t go unnoticed, however, and she tries to hide her face from him as redness creeps up her cheeks. If he catches her blush, he doesn’t say anything about it, instead choosing to move onto a different subject. 

“Did you… have a vision about us a few years from now? Living together in a really nice house? I think I was taking a nap?” Y/n smiles and closes her eyes, finding herself leaning against Namjoon as she reminisces on the vision.

“Yeah, you were grading Transfiguration homework, and I was getting home from work… I worked for the Ministry.” He hums, wrapping an arm around her as he reflects on her words.

“In mine you worked at St. Mungo’s -- you were a healer.” There’s a pause, and then he chuckles under his breath. “I think I like you as a healer better. ‘Healer Y/n’ has a sexy ring to it.” With a scoff that sounds a lot more like a laugh than she’d care to admit, Y/n is pushing herself off of him and rising to her feet, leaving him behind as she heads down to the lake. Namjoon’s hand around her wrist a few moments later, pulling her back into his chest, has her laughing openly. Her hands find his waist, where she anchors herself and clings to him, reveling in the fact that she can do this kind of thing now. 

They stand there for a while, watching the sun set over the horizon, thinking about their lives up until that point. When the last of the light disappears below the water, Y/n takes a deep breath and lifts her head from Namjoon’s chest to look up at him. Feeling that she’s moved, he glances down at her, realizing only when their noses touch just how close they are. 

In a rush of courage that can only be the mark of a Gryffindor, Y/n pushes up on her tippy toes, pressing her lips to his as gently as possible. She isn’t ready for the way the world seems to stop all around her -- she isn’t ready for the way her heart stops, a flame finding its spark within the cavern of her chest. It spreads like wildfire to the rest of her body, getting stronger the longer she kisses him. It burns through her and attracts her to him like an addiction all the same. The love she feels for him in that moment -- coupled with the force of Namjoon reciprocating the emotions, completely in time with her -- is enough to set her skin alight, tearing through every nerve in her body. 

Only when it’s too much -- when she feels like she’s going to explode with this burning energy -- does she pull away, breathing embarrassingly hard. She can’t even tell that he’s having the same difficulties as her, having also just experienced the pure collision of forces that had knocked the wind out of her. He barely has time to register that she’s leaning her head against his chest and is whispering something to him in her surge of emotion. What he hears has him lifting her face with his hands as he yearns for another kiss, seven years overdue. 

“Thank you, Namjoon… Thank you for waiting for me.”

[aloera]

The ask prompt is too long to fit into an ask TT_TT but here's the doc for it docs(.)google(.)com/document/d/1yDI7iFRhOJ8ENv_IwZAo3rDSUqj80EiJROS10RzRbj4/edit

the lengths u are going for this,,, much appreciated you're very sweet!!!

prompts + answers under the cut!!

INTRODUCTION

Name: aloera

AO3 account: aloera

Fandoms you write for: bnha

How many stories have you written so far: 19

FANFICTION PROFILE

What's your favorite fandom to write for? hmm,,, used to do pjo and eah (ever after high) and eah was fun as fuck i will say!!! i think bnha is my fav mostly bc i made the most friends in this fandom :D

What's your favorite character/person to write for? bkg and kirishima!! cannot choose do not make me <3

Fic you'd want to improve? probably what we deserve? i rushed the beginning and the confession is a bit stilted imo

Hardest fic you've written? between lion and men -_- bc there is so much canon compliant stuff i've gotta write out before i get to the divergence and its HARD

Easiest fic you've written? come home to me!!! it happened so easily,,, no second guessing no writers block just vibes <33 was lovely i miss it

What would you say is the most "famous" fic you've ever written? also probably come home to me? its got the most interaction

first line of the first fic you've ever written and published. [not including my 2014 ffnet fics] "The bell rings, class starts, and Katsuki and Midoriya are inexplicably absent." from come home to me

Have you ever done a collab with another writer? yes!!!!! on two separate occasions and its so fucking fun i highly recommend trying it out its the best

Do you beta? if asked but honestly im a shit beta lmao

Do you like joining fic fests/exchanges? depends on what i have going on irl but in general yeah!!

FANFICTION PREFERENCES

Fluff or angst? definitely fluff

"OCs" or "Reader" inserts? reader inserts!! have been going ham on them recently

Blurbs or drabbles? blurbs!!

One thing you love about fanfiction i just. i really love slice of life romance?? and most media doesn't give you that bc its dedicated to plot and action and that's valid!! but fanfiction fills in the gap which is really nice

One thing you don't like about fanfiction most of the stuff i don't like is less about actual fanfiction and more about how people behave about it

What is/are your favorite fandom author/authors? IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!! TURN IT UP!!!

bnha: hiuythn, rae_tnub, Moniix, Ata_Lanta, wrunic, chezka, PurplePersnickety, surveycorpsejean, mahadevi, arxaris, deviance, Oceanbreeze7, MikeWritesThings, bonnia, wonhaebunny, dinosuns

voltron: hiuythn, Oceanbreeze7, DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee, arahir, dinosuns,

and honorable mention to loveclouds im not even in the haikyuu fandom i just love their fics So Much

these are just the ones off the top of my head i have so many favourites idc if i'm only supposed 2 have one!! die mad about it!!!

What is your favorite trope? secret relationship + relationship reveal til the day i die babie <3 <3

Least favorite trope? hm,,, probably just like. angst lmao i cannot stand 90% of it

A fanfiction cliché that you can't help but love? coffeeshop aus,,,, so good

Do you have a type when it comes to pairings? the otp where its like. piece of shit + himbo = love. ex. krbk, catradora, jade/beck

Favorite setting/au? hm,,, truly i cannot pick one KGKSJNHKj but i really like college aus!! and modern aus!! and roommate aus!!

Explain the meaning of your favorite line of dialogue you've written as if someone hasn't read it in context. “He doesn’t know,” Katsuki says, softly. “My timer stopped and nothing happened. He’s not mine.”

the line is from what we deserve!! it's a soulmate au where your timer counts down to the moment that you meet your soulmate!! bakugou's timer ends at USJ when he and kirishima attack kurogiri at the same time (impulsive kings <33) but kirishima's timer doesn't end until kamino because that's when he accepts himself as bakugous soulmate!! unfortunately, when bakugous timer has reached 0, he turned to see that kirishima's was still ticking and therefore believes that kirishima isn't his soulmate.

this line just,, idk. it's really sad. bakugou is such an action-driven character? if something doesn't go his way he Makes it go his way. he's got this insanely volatile quirk and he's got impeccable control of it!! but his love for kirishima isn't something that he can change and he's not going to ruin kirishima's chance of finding his own soulmate because he loves him and wants him to be happy. i really wanted to focus on how resigned he is? and how unusual that is for a character like him.

Favorite trope/genre to write? again, secret relationship with relationship reveals <33 fluff in general is my wheelhouse!!!

A trope/genre you haven't written but think would be a fun challenge? idk if this counts?? have been working on some dead dove concepts!! its super different from what i normally write so its a cool challenge

The one trope/concept you'll never touch and why probably cheating/infidelity?? it just looks,,, super difficult to write well and i don't have enough of an interest in it to try it out

Which do you prefer to write: longer or shorter fics? shorter!! low attention span gang <3

Ideal length to read? 5-10k?

Ideal length to write? 4-8k!!

How long was the longest fic you've ever written? control fraek is around 28k i think?

Have you ever written an AU? yeah!! i've done restaurant au's, soulmate au's, pro hero aus, and fantasy aus (general, not the bnha fantasy ending)

What's your favorite AU trope? hm,, probably when two people in authority are in a secret relationship? ceo's/uni professors/etc etc

Have you ever written smut? yeah!! was. difficult tho

What's your comfort genre? (the one you fall on most in writing/reading) fluff,,, hurt/comfort,,, fix-it fics with happy endings <3

If you were to start writing in other fandoms, which would they be? maybe jjk?? the characters are really cool!!!! fr i might go back to my ever after high roots i love the characters and setting so Much its so fun!!! idec if no ones into it anymore!!!!!

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? i've had people say they saw the mention of buff hagakure and recognized it was me so. probably that skdjhnksjd

WRITING STYLE

How would you describe your style? i tend to use shorter sentences and pretty simple words i think? and i gravitate towards lighthearted concepts that allow for ensemble casts and humour!!

Describe your style in three words romcom but fanfic

Favorite words to use when writing? the word reverent!! fuckin love including it!!

Dialogue tags or no dialogue tags? (she said, he said, they said, etc) dialogue tags!!!

Favorite dialogue tag (other than said, if you use them) again idk if this counts but "they said softly" is unmatched

Long sentences vs short vs a mix short <33

What colors would you use to describe your writing? hm,,, depends on the fic i would say?? control fraek is dark green to me?? kinda like a forest at night yk?? scary but there's still life there. sugar cookies is yellow like early morning sunlight, when it rains is yellowy-orange like a caution sign. not gonna list all of them cause theres a lot its just. do u get it? the colours change based on the vibe of the fic.

What song or music genre would you use to describe your writing? think. i am constantly trying to emulate that moment at the end of wasteland baby when hozier goes "im in love/im in love with you."

What kind of metaphors do you rely on? religious metaphors my beloved <33 they're just so pretty!!! i also love comparing stuff to water for some reason?? like that ocean vuong quote thats like "what are you now?/water." it goes hard!!!

What's something you'd say is experimental in your writing at this time? definitely action!! i have,,, no idea how to write it so anything i do is really just me playing around and seeing what works and what doesn't

Do you prefer to write by hand or to type? i've tried both!! personally i prefer typing because it goes way faster but i will say that writing by hand lets me get words down when i'm going through writer's block

What is your preferred place to write (notebook, laptop, cellphone, etc.)? laptop!!

What app/apps do you use to write (word, notepad, etc.)? google docs skjdnkjh its fine on desktop but mobile is,,,,, disgusting

Do you keep a notebook or file/notes page in your phone/device for notes on your writing? ngl i just have everything organized in my drive?? one folder per fandom and then sub folders for ideas+hcs, unfinished wips, and finished fics. multichaps get sub sub folders so i can organize outlines and drafts

Do you listen to music to help you write? yeah!! playlists organized by fic vibe :D

Where do you usually go to write (bedroom, living room, etc.)? mostly in my bedroom??? but moving around to different stops helps too i think!!

How long does it usually take for you to write? again this depends on what i have going on irl, how attached i am to the idea, my mindset at the time, etc!! i am,, the least consistent person skjnhdkjh.

What's your favorite font to use when writing? times new roman my beloved

Other writing habits? sometimes i'll write in the dark?? bad for my eyes but for some reason it gets the words flowing

CONCEPTUALIZATION

How do you conceptualize your ideas? (See specific moments like they're a movie, writing specific lines in your head, don't know until you put the words on paper, etc.) i tend to get inspiration from movies, books, poems, or other fics!!! sometimes one line just makes me go oh,, i want to write something like that,,, and then it helps me create an idea that makes me feel the same way?? i did this with control fraek!!!! i wanted a scenario where bakugou was cold and calculating and i was like hm. to do that he’d have to be focusing on something important. and from there i was able to flesh out the rest of the idea.

Which comes first: the pairing or the plot? with krbk its always always the pairing,, i'll be sitting there like wow <33 i love them <33 what if one of them had amnesia <33 (which, yes, wip!!) otherwise it's usually the plot!! and i slot in characters that i feel make sense

Have you ever used a prompt? yeah!! used a prompt for wlw week 2020 and it was fun as hell

Do you write around the story around a specific scene you want to get to or do you start from a plot idea definitely the first!!!! i almost always write like,,, a super messy scene thats 90% dialogue, keep it in my head, and then write the entire fic around that one moment

Do you find that you include a projection of some part of yourself in the way you write a character? a lot of the time when i write love confessions or love in general i'll have one of the characters think or say that the other person makes their head quiet? and it's because that's what i feel whenever i'm in love?? a quiet mind. i project on characters yeah but i think most of the projection actually goes to the way that i write love

Do you research some of the things you write deeply, partially and kind of wing the rest, or play entirely by ear (in this case, go with whatever base knowledge of the subject you have)? most of the time if i do research it'll be about the setting (ex. the izakaya in to have and to hold) or if i'm having the characters interact with an object that they like. need to know how to use (me, in control fraek: google. hey google. does someone die if they get shot in the foot??? no???? awesome thank u <3)

Have you ever had an idea for a story and forgot about it? lmaoo yeah all the time i'll find like 500-2k words of concepts in my gdocs like i do. not remember this at all

Is there a trope you think you could be easily recognized by in your writing? probably krbk secret relationship lmao

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out better than expected? yeah!! i fully thought the action in control fraek would be awful but it turned out not bad??? which im happy with

Are there concepts you've tried that turned out worse than you expected? again, what we deserve, i personally think it would have worked out better if i'd paced it slower and drawn out the pining but i. do not feel like going back to fix it so its staying the way that it is. pining is so fucking hard to do AHHHH i get so tired with it!!! im like just date already!!!!

PROCESS

How do you come up with titles? in rare occasions (literally. all my multichaps for some reason) the title comes after writing like .5 words of the first chapter im like YES this is it!!!!! sometimes i write the whole thing and pick out one line that fits (what i did with come home to me) a lot of the time i just. steal from songs or poems that i like

What's your favorite emotion to cause on your readers? i like making people happy!!!! love when people comment saying they're cheered up

What's your favorite emotion to write? lovelovelovelovelovelove

Have you ever cried or felt any emotion while reading something you've written? never cried?? but sometimes i'll rereading my hurt/comfort fics 4. yk. comfort

Do you write in order or whatever comes to you? in order!! unless i have a scene that i Need to write and i'll quickly jot it down so that i don't forget

Usual way you procrastinate while writing? ...doing asks like this, making playlists, discord, watching netflix. what don't i do smh

Do you outline or free write? i am. so shit at outlines. i mostly free write and write lil notes for stuff that i wanna add later

Do you set word goals or scene goals (scenes you want to include)? yes!! like i said i'll write loose notes for scenes that i want to add later!! it gives me something to write towards :D

What do you consider when writing your scenes? what goes into making the atmosphere and mood you want? to set a scene i do two things? the first is like,, the five senses bc that always sets the scene really well and makes it feel Real. i'll visualize stuff in my head like its a movie and write out what i would want to tell the set designer?? if the lights are low, if the space is busy, if it's supposed to exude comfort or not.

for putting forward the character's mood one thing i've found that makes a difference is sentence length!! long sentences are good for making a character seem flustered and nervous or not really in control of their emotions? good for love confessions. short sentences are good for when the character is focused on something or short on time. good for fights!!

What's something you never considered to include in your writing that you can't leave out now? def buff hagakure,,,, once i thought of it i was like. if i don't include this at least once in every single fic how could i look at myself in the mirror!!!!!! how could i face anyone!!!!

How do you start a story? establishing a fact about the character or describing the setting! option a is one single thread of gold, option b is between lion and men

How do you end a story? either by tying it back to the beginning or doing like a funny kind of closing??? option a is sugar cookies, option b is a godless society

How do you get out of writer's block? change something!! move something!! i go from typing to handwriting, moving from my bedroom to my living room, switching wips to work on something else!! i do sprints as well?? give myself like fifteen minutes to write something and sometimes 200 words opens up the way for another 2k. sometimes i'll just delete like 500 words and start fresh

Do you edit? or do you toss your writing out there? i edit!!! i'll go over it myself then send it to one or two betas (bee my beloved <33)

How do you edit? do you use spellcheck, grammar checkers, etc? bee is my grammar checker bc he is So Good with grammar. i use grammarly as well for spellcheck stuff mostly?? sometimes my edit process is just like "am i tired of looking at this!! yes <3" and then i post it

PROGRESS

Do you usually like what you write? yeah!!! i post stuff that makes me happy and that i'm fine with rereading!!! i write stuff for self-indulgence reasons first and foremost and i think my writing reflects that sjhnksj

Have you ever written something you didn't like but posted anyways? nope!! even what we deserve i LIKED even if i see a lot of room 4 improvement!! if i don't like smth it's not getting posted

Do you find yourself rereading your writing often? yeah!! the reason i wrote so much krbk secret relationship is because i loved it but i'd read all that there was so i just,, wrote more,, ngl its kinda nice being in a place where i actually like my writing bc i can write stuff that i want to see and really enjoy it!!

Can you tell us anything about your current WIP? sure!! i'm currently working on when it rains which is a fic where bakugou gets hit by a crying quirk!! i'm gonna be using it to explore So Much of all might's character and his relationships with bakugou and aizawa (and i think some people from his past!!)

Can you give us a sneak peek on your current WIP? “You did something. What the hell did you do?” Kirishima sounds pissed off. It would amuse Katsuki if he wasn’t fighting just to stay standing.

“Nothing he didn’t ask for,” Shinsou replies.

“K’ri… shima,” Katsuki croaks out. “‘S fine. Not him.”

His chest collapses back into the familiar dry heaving after that but Kirishima shuts up. He doesn’t apologize to Shinsou.

Kirishima’s a good friend, stubborn and loyal. He stands by Katsuki’s side like an attack dog, blocking him from the view of anyone ogling at his tears.

The last line you've written Ochako knows more than she'd realized. She knows enough to keep her guard up.

It’s not enough.

Open a wip. what’s the first line?

Katsuki wakes up feeling like absolute fucking shit.

INSIGHT

What's your favorite thing about writing? touched on this before but it's mainly just being able to write the things that i want to see and actually enjoy them!!! actually reread them!!!! i thought "wouldn't it be cool if bkg and kirishima owned a restaurant together" and then i wrote it and i like it enough to reread it!!!! being able to create content for myself makes me. so happy

How do you keep yourself inspired? this is gonna sound narcissistic maybe but honestly i'm just really excited about my ideas and where i'm gonna take them and the idea of "i'm gonna get to That scene" keeps me going through the entire thing. also my friends!!!! i'll talk to them about fics and their reactions keep me hyped up enough to finish!!!!

What is your favorite thing to write? just,, slice of life romance,,, stuff thats silly and makes people laugh!!

What do you think your strengths are in writing? i'm good with dialogue!! i do lil voice acting sessions with myself to make sure everything sounds natural and like it's coming from that character skhjnskj

i'm comfortable with my portrayal of love as well??? i spend a lot of time thinking about what it is exactly that i'm trying to get across and i think it turns out well!!

What are things you wish you could practice more? on one hand i wanna get better at writing angst on the other hand i dislike writing angst. do you see my issue

One way you've improved your writing since you began? characterization!! i think i've gotten better at writing characters that are all Different and bring different things to the table!!! i used to project a lot more and it would compromise the characterization because the character was like 70% me and 30% them? not to say that projection is bad but if you do it too much it just,, doesn't read like the character and from a reader's standpoint the narrative can become less compelling

One aspect of writing you're still working on? writing action!!! i. literally hate writing it but i write for a fandom about superheroes so. Unfortunately i gotta learn.

A piece of writing advice you've learned while writing saw this on another tumblr post but they said sometimes if you're struggling with a scene, the problem is five lines back. i've found that to be true!!!! sometimes u gotta delete a chunk and start a little ways back!! i did this with too busy being yours because i was stuck for Weeks and i deleted like 25% of what i had but it helped me actually finish it :D

A bit of writing advice you can't stand when people shit on show don't tell for being overrated lmao bc when u read their writing you can Tell

Something you wish you knew when you first started writing? ,,,,honestly i kind of wish i could know some of the stuff that i used to when i first started writing?? technically i'm better now but creatively i was must better when i wasn't stressing about whether anyone would like what i was writing. so i guess i wish i knew that i should keep that confidence? i kinda wish that i wasn't as insecure about other people's writing styles because i never used to be!!

Something you've learned in life that you apply in writing there's no point in feeling inferior?? writing one genre isn't better than the other. being in one fandom isn't better than being in another. the kind of language you use or the length of your paragraphs- none of that stuff like. matters. what matters is that you're having fun and happy with what you're creating!!!! enjoy other peoples writing but don't let it make you feel worse about yours :D

[langdxn]

salvation part i | outpost!michael x fem!reader

SUMMARY: An unexpected delivery of apples arrives at Outpost 3 — but why?

WARNINGS: Fluff, angst, pregnancy, sorta implied breeding kink, soft!Michael and a slight timeline meddle.

WORD COUNT: 1.5k

A/N: Taking a brief break from the shameless smut in exchange for a little play on the original Outpost timeline. I apologise profusely if it’s absolute bollocks, I just liked the idea. Dirty Michael will be back very soon, I promise!

part ii // part iii // part iv // part v

A horse-drawn carriage burst through the sinister fog enveloping Outpost 3, triggering a perimeter breach that scattered Venable, Mead and the Fist toward the entrance. Crimson floodlights littered the bronzed corridors in a luminous panic as the women in power met in the corridors.

“Could this be an attack, like those other outposts?” Venable stifled a gulp. Mead shrugged cluelessly, sparking the group to head outside toward the deafening metallic cacophony.

In the shadow of the flickering blood red lights flooding his office, Michael perched studiously at his desk, staring blankly at his open laptop while silently rattling through his mind for explanations for the disturbance.

He knew there wasn’t a scheduled invasion or another Cooperative delegate due at Outpost 3, he was the last visitor expected there before their planned overrun. He also knew there was to be no intrusion while he carried out his interviews for the repopulation of the Sanctuary, his ‘cooperating’ procedures were not to be disturbed under any circumstances.

Wandering away from his work to follow his train of thought, he creaked open his office door to see the commotion for himself. Leaning against the doorway, he caught sight of Mead and Venable skittering down a far corridor, the shorter lady carrying a crate and the strict leader holding an apple in her free hand.

An apple?

———

“I’ve always loved apples,” Michael muttered into the peel, taking a deep sniff at its ruby red skin before taking a generous bite and talking through his furious chewing. “Ms Mead used to leave me the one she placed in the pig’s mouth for roast dinners on Sundays.”

You blinked your doe eyes at him across the picnic blanket, watching him drift off into his memories in the middle distance. Happy memories before Hawthorne, before the Seven Wonders, before he lost the only other woman he trusted. Apart from you.

You reached for an apple yourself, Michael’s gaze watching your hands intently as if your every move were a work of art. This intimate beachside picnic was your idea, a break from his incessant Cooperative meetings and outpost visits before the apocalypse initiation, scheduled in two weeks time.

“Then I guess we’d better plant an apple tree in the Sanctuary before this whole thing kicks off,” you suggested, taking a shallow bite of the fruit, “can’t exactly survive the end of the world without apples.”

Michael’s gorgeous azure eyes met yours as his free hand swooped towards your abdomen. Drawing a deep, sentimental breath, he spread his fingers to take in every inch of your flat stomach beneath your dress.

“Where we’re going, sweetheart, we won’t need apples. One day, you’ll be giving me the best gift imaginable.”

———

As Michael spun on his painfully expensive heels, his eyes drew towards his previously empty office chair, now occupied. A smooth black silk dress draped over a lithe female perched on the seat, legs crossed elegantly and hands resting on her knees.

Michael’s heart soared.

“Y/N?!” His jaw nearly shattered on the floor as he belted across the room to wrap his arms around you in a desperate haze of disbelief, you jolted to your feet to meet his embrace. Crashing into you, Michael peppered frenetic pecks over your cheeks and lips, his lovelorn eyes and warming heart betraying his stern exterior.

“I—I thought you were dea—gone, th—they told me our Outpost was overrun?” He stuttered into the shell of your ear, squeezing his arms around you so tightly he might cave in your ribcage.

“I got out before they got in, I had to see you again baby,” you brushed your hands up and down his velour-clad spine reassuringly as he dipped his head into your shoulder. You swore you could feel his searing hot tears peppering your collarbone, but he had never cried in front of you before, to the point you weren’t even sure he could cry.

Out of his line of sight, you smiled to yourself that you got away with sneaking in without him sensing your presence. Michael’s powers were always useless against you, as if a steel wall barricaded between you both and he couldn’t break through it no matter how hard he tried. He would question your status as a mere mortal if he wasn’t already acutely aware of the emotional power you held over him ever since you first met. All you had to do was smile and he was yours in a heartbeat.

You both stood in the middle of his room in total silence for what felt like hours, clutching onto each other and never wishing to let go. The weeks you spent apart as he travelled to Outpost 3 were the longest you’d ever gone without Michael Langdon by your side. You breathed in his deep, woodsy scent like it was pure oxygen, planting soft kisses on his flowing golden curls whenever one grazed your cheek.

The silence between you broke momentarily as you heard distant thuds, staccato and final crashes as if the weight of bodies hitting polished stone floors.

“D—do the others know you’re here?” Michael spluttered as he lifted his face from your shoulder to meet your gaze, his cerulean irises more vivid than you’d ever seen before.

“Mead and someone else were too busy inspecting my carriage to see me sneak past them through the doors,” you assured your lover. “I learned that from you, when you creep out of bed in the morning to get back to work, thinking you haven’t woken me.”

He chuckled gently and leaned in for the deepest kiss you ever shared, easily surpassing your first kiss -- a rushed, heated affair that you had no idea would outlive the end of the world. Leaning into you to hold you as close as he could, he felt your bump make its presence known between you. He lowered a hand to greet your swelling abdomen, his cool rings brushing the silk that billowed over your form.

“How are you doing down there, little guy?” He gushed as he consumed the sight of his unborn heir before him. Your eyes darted down to your bump, stifling a soft chuckle under your breath.

“You mean little lady,” you grinned, meeting his gaze as his pupils burst their oceanic banks when they met yours, stunned and overwhelmed.

“It’s a girl?!” Michael squealed, blissful tears flowing so freely down his face and racing towards his lips as they parted in sheer disbelief. Once again, his intuitive powers over his lady failed him, but this time he delighted in his new revelation, planting a haunting, grateful kiss on your lips.

“This beautiful missus will be making an appearance any day now,” you reminded him, placing your hand atop his on your bump as your rings clink together harmoniously.

“Then I’ll set up a birthing pool in my quarters. Keep it full at all times, just in case.”

Michael’s hand waved effortlessly in the air, leaving you to assume he had accomplished that task in a matter of seconds without even exiting the room. His powers and his tricks always caught you off guard, no matter how many years you had spent with him before the apocalypse.

Michael applied a gentle, reassuring pressure onto your baby’s home, reminding the life inside that she will be worshipped and adored when she arrives. A blindingly bright life born in nuclear darkness. He consoled himself that it was only fitting that his child comes into the world under Hawthorne’s roof just as the man Michael Langdon was destined to become was born in these hallowed halls a matter of years before.

In processing the joyful news you carried with you, Michael’s thoughts darted to the situation that lay in the Outpost in which his entire family were now stood.

“Something’s happening here, I can smell it,” he quivered with a distinct tone of uneasiness, his eyes darting down to his feet despondently as his rigid confidence cracked, only ever in front of you. “The witches aren’t dead, I’ve failed.”

“My darling, look at me,” you urged his face upward with two fingers under his chin, beaming your usual warm, comforting smile. “We’ll all be okay.”

“Nobody knows I’m here. If anybody attacks you, if the worst happens,” your voice broke softly, trying your hardest to maintain a steely facade for your man. You cupped his cheek with your hand as he turned gently to plant a kiss in your palm. “I’ll be here to protect you, Boy Wonder.”

A curt knock at his office door shattered the silence between you. Ominous. Urgent. Michael’s eyes darted around the room, formulating the next step in his hurriedly altered plan.

“That’ll be Venable and Ms Mead,” Michael announced, pointing at another oak door in the rear corner of his office space. “Go to my quarters, there’s a passage that’ll take you straight there through the library. Hide in there and whatever you hear, whatever you see, whatever you think you’re seeing, don’t come out until they make the signal, do you hear me?”

“The signal? Wh—what signal? Who’s ‘they’?” You shed your hardened exterior in a panic. Michael was speaking in riddles you didn’t have the answers to, or at least not yet. He kissed your lips deeply and urged you in the direction of the door before sitting at his desk and opening his laptop to look busy when the women entered.

“When you hear them say these words, I need you to fight. I need you to do whatever you can to stop the witches. I’m relying on you, Y/N.”

“What words, Michael?”

“Tempus infinituum.”

—————————————————————————————————

A/A/N: Let me know if you’d like to be on a tag list, I’ve never done one before and I don’t want to bother anybody who’s not interested! x.x

[catsmeowarchived]

Repost, don’t reblog! Tag 6 muns you would like to get to know better when done!

Name: bunny!! you can also call me ali too! Age: 25 Faceclaim: none Pronouns: she/her Height: 5′2″ Birthday: june 29th Aesthetics: i have no like consistent aesthetic so im really envious if people who do shdsffs. i like a lot of grunge aesthetics but also vintage... but also i love pink and cute stuff. so all over the place really

Favourite muse(s) you’ve written: ohhh this is a very hard question because i have so many sdkfhask. tbh.. i think the one that im most emotionally invested in is a character i created to be a spin on the horror bimbo trope with loml nox. she’s the character who is one of the first to be killed by the slasher in her setting and just. im incredibly attached to her and the kind of inherent tragedy of her character and her relationship with nox’s character. honestly felicia’s pretty up there on my list of favorite muses too, i think this is the longest ive stayed on one blog 

What inspired you to take on your current muse (that you are posting this on): tbh it started with just discussing spider-man with nox @arachnrd i already really adored her depiction of peter and the felicia from the ps4 game was interesting. i was originally going to make a blog for that version of felicia but i started reading the comics and i just vibed more with the kind of energy she has in the comics. for felicia as a character her like confidence and insistence on getting what she wants seemed really fun, she’s the kind of character that goes for what she wants and doesnt make apologies for it and i think thats neat

What are your favourite aspects of your current muse: i like that she’s just... fun tbh. like she’s fun to write and as a character she’s always down to have a good time and play around. which like while she has plenty of depth as well i love that all around she’s just playful and flirty, its a treat 

What’s your biggest inspiration when it comes to writing: music!! i have like two playlists for all my characters, songs that are fitting for them and then just songs i listen to while writing because it gives me vibes for them. making aesthetics and boards for characters is also another way i get in the mood for writing a character 

Favourite types of threads: i think im in the same boat as a lot of people filling this out, i absolutely love like hurt and comfort threads. like the catharsis of muses like sharing their problems and being comforted, its the right mix of angst and sweetness. i love like patching up after injury threads too because im soft and i love tenderness. i also love little slice of life threads too!!

Biggest struggle in regards to your current muse:  honestly i worry that my understanding of felicia isnt like... accurate? ive never written a canon character before her and i kind of worry if im straying too far from how her character actually is and making her too ooc. i also worry that my writing is just kind of... lacking. like there’s holes in my writing where i should fill it out with more action or description, or felicia’s inner voice. which i think is an overall issue i feel like with my writing where its just kinda... lack luster and straight forward to the point of being boring

tagged by: @murdcck​ ty!!

tagging: anyone who would like to!! tag me so i can see it  ♡

[wowiejimin]

Safe - Chapter 8

this is probably one of the most longest chapters ive ever published oml but im pretty proUD OF IT EVEN THO ITS PRETTY BORING AT FIRSTTEETEE

if any of you guys are having trouble finding the updates to this fic, here are some options :)

you can either search up “wowiejimin safe fic” and once you do, all the chapters including the chapter list should be there~

“wowiejimin safe fic” is also a hashtag that i include in my tags so if you’re willing to follow it, you’ll be able to see all of the chapters and updates on your TL :D

another way is to put my post  notifications on if you follow me but i also do have the chapterlist in my description on my profile (it’s always updated) so feel free to do so~

i also update every week :)

 ENJOY

Pairing: Gang Member!Jimin x Poor Heart!Genius!Reader

Genre: Angst, Romance, Lots of Action, Humor, Fluff, & Smut (In the Future)

Length: 6.2k

Warnings: Swearing, SOOOO MUCH (SEXUAL? IDK) TENSION OML, flufffflyllylyy stuff

Members Included: All of BTS, other KPop groups in the future

Previous Chapter Chapter List Next Chapter

In his world, being a part of a mafia gang, known as Bangtan Boys, is a bit terrifying. They were truly a filthy rich and powerful group that everyone feared. 22-year old Jimin was described as the stealthiest and most skilled member of Bangtan, playing an important part in their group. Whereas for 20-year-old (Y/N), a genius with a weak heart is suffering inside the cruel world as she is experimented on on the daily basis. Jimin finds himself protecting a gifted girl whose memory can hold numerous things in a blink of an eye. Jimin finds an interest in her, visioning that she may be a valuable asset to their group. Jimin has never paid attention to girls. However, that started to change when he met her.

The following day, (Y/N) took a seat next to Jimin, like always. She looked around the room to meet eye contact with the rest of the boys. 

After explaining about the plan with Jimin and (Y/N), it was time to tell the others about it. 

Namjoon was the only one standing up, looking over at his members before clearing his throat. “As you all know, (Y/N) has obtained the special documents Yoongi hyung needed and it was a success.” Namjoon smiled at (Y/N), “However, those documents contained (Y/N)’s files as Banjo hired a member of the Golden Flies to do the job to terminate her files.”

(Y/N) let out a distressed breathe, not believing that Banjo went this far in order to bring her back to the lab. “Although, Yoongi recovered them, allowing (Y/N) to be safe from them.” He says as the boys let out sighs of relief, “For now.” Namjoon says and Taehyung frowned, “What if we want (Y/N) to be safe forever?” He pouted, “I don’t want (Y/N) to go away!” Taehyung cried.

(Y/N) sadly smiled at him, “I’m sure we all want (Y/N) to stay with us and to be safe too.” Jimin says and Jin nodded, “Indeed we do.” He says, “Right, but how?” Hoseok asked.

Yoongi smirked, “As you know, Banjo is a bad man, as well as Mr Han. The two have been working for years before meeting (Y/N). During those years, they’ve been committing corrupt deals with others and recorded a list of each and every one of them on a disc.” Yoongi says and looked over at his members, “With this disc, we can either threaten and blackmail them,” Yoongi says before looking at (Y/N), “Or we expose it, thus destroying everything that they have.” Yoongi explained and Jin hummed.

“Blackmailing seems a bit uneasy, although it may work, considering of how much data is written on there.” Jin thought as Jungkook crossed his arms, “How about both?” All the members looked at the young member with playful glares as Jungkook grinned, “What? Why not?”

Namjoon sighed and lightly chuckled at Jungkook’s suggestion, “Although we do have the power to do so, I don’t think that would be necessary.” He says before clapping his hands, pointing them towards (Y/N), “Since (Y/N) has known the two longer than we have, she’s one step closer to finding that disc.” He says and smiled. Jimin then cleared his throat, "And because (Y/N) knows the two better than we do and being our tactician, she’ll be planning this mission.“ 

(Y/N) nodded in agreement, "There may be a few bumps on the road. These two are no joke, they’re loaded with men and power as much as we are. However, with precise planning, I’m sure we can find this disc and get the job done easily.” (Y/N) smiled shyly. The members let out smiles and cheers, “I hope this works, (Y/N).” Yoongi says with a smile, the first ever smile (Y/N) had seen coming from Yoongi. Taehyung’s tail wagged, “I really really don’t want (Y/N)-ah to go, I’ll do anything in the world to keep her on our side!" 

The members chuckled as (Y/N) smiled widely, agreeing with Taehyung, "I don’t ever want to go back at that place, and I’m also willing to do everything to stay with all of you.” She says shyly, a hint of blush on her cheeks. The members looked at her with adored expressions before agreeing with her.

Jimin stared at (Y/N) with a faint smile. (Y/N) shared a few laughs with the members before looking back at Jimin, who was already staring at her with loving adoring eyes, same as the others. (Y/N) smiled at him as the other members continued to talk. “I hope this works.” She says, “I wish to stay with all, with you, forever.” She says as Jimin sent her a smile.

“Me too.” He says, brushing a stray hair away from her face, smiling even more at the sight of her flushed cheeks.

“Because wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be there for you whatever it takes or how my heart breaks. I want and will be there for you forever.“

~/~

It’s been three weeks since the whole mission with Dongmin as it was back to training for (Y/N) after she fully healed. Bangtan decided to lay low for awhile especially since the death of Kim Hyunwook. Whereas for Dongmin, he was taken to their HQ was imprisoned, with a necessary amount of care, ordered by (Y/N), as his fate was later decided.

Not only that, after all those weeks of training, Jimin claimed that (Y/N) was ready to pursue real missions along with the others. 

But here they were, after a morning jog with Taehyung around the neighbourhood and gun practice in the hills with Jungkook, (Y/N) stood in the ring with Jimin.

Today, Jimin decided with all the training he has done with (Y/N), he was able to work on her speed and agility. After a few rounds of Jimin moving around a landing a couple of punches on (Y/N), she finally got the hang of it and even got to beat Jimin at his own game. 

Jimin swung his strong leg over, however, (Y/N) quickly ducked and landed another punch on his shoulder, causing Jimin to lose balance. Seeing this as an opportunity, (Y/N) swung her fist at him, knocking him down to the mat. 

Jimin grunted as tumbled to the ground, “Oof.” He winced slightly. 

(Y/N) smiled widely, jumping a bit a few times as she cheered proudly. Jimin smirked up at her, watching her awkwardly dance around over her victory. (Y/N) noticed his stare and stopped, blushing slightly as she smiled shyly. Jimin chuckled, he thought it was cute and to say that he was proud was an understatement. 

“My third win in a row!” She says in triumph as Jimin shrugged, getting up from the mat. “What can I say, I’ve gone soft on you.” He says and got out of the ring, (Y/N) following. 

“I think that’s enough training, (Y/N). You did well today.” He confessed as (Y/N) let out a content sigh as she took a swing from her water bottle. “I think you’re ready for the real stuff.” He says as he also takes a swing of water. 

(Y/N) puts down her bottle and looked at the older boy, “Real stuff?” She asked as he nodded, “Yeah, the real stuff.” He smirked at her as he motioned her to follow him. After packing their things, they made their way up to their room. 

As they walked up the stairs, Hoseok smiled at them as he went walked down the marble steps, “Done training?” He asked as (Y/N) nodded with a mixture of a confused and happy smile, “Yeah, Jimin says I’m ready for the real stuff.” She looked over at him and Hoseok looked at her with his gold irises gleaming. He sent her a slight smirk, “Oh I see,” He says as he continued to walk down the steps, “Well, whatever it is, good luck~” And with that, he went straight to the kitchen. 

Jimin hummed and walked into his room. He then took his shirt off, slightly surprising (Y/N) with the sudden action. “Go ahead and get ready. We’re going to the HQ, I want to show you something.” He says and grabbed a towel from the washroom and a set of clothes, “I’ll be showering in Jungkook’s washroom so you can do your thing in here.” He sent her a smile before walking out.

(Y/N) nodded at him before walking into the washroom, stripping down her clothes before entering the shower. 

It’s been almost a month since (Y/N) has been in the HQ, last time being when she first met Jimin. (Y/N) wondered what Jimin had to show her, but whatever it was, it must be important. Especially if it was located at the HQ itself. 

After showering, she put on clothes that fitted into the smart casual category; a simple white-button down blouse tucked into a black bandage skirt. After brushing and drying her hair, she walked out to find Jimin sitting on their bed, wearing a black button down shirt along with black jeans. 

He smiled up at her as he ran a hand through his damp dark hair. “Alright, let’s go.”

The two made their way to Jimin’s car and out of the Bangtan residence grounds. 

On their way there, (Y/N) turned to Jimin, “So what is this thing you’re gonna show me?” She asked and Jimin hummed, “Now that,” He turned to her, face inches apart as he smiled at her, “Is a surprise.” He says as (Y/N) huffed with a smile, leaning back to her seat. 

After a few minutes, Jimin drove into the underground parking lot, just beneath their building. Jimin then parked in his usual spot, in front of the elevator. Jimin quickly got out, opening the door for (Y/N). She quietly thanked him as they walked into the elevator, Jimin pressing the button that led them to the floor where his office sat. 

Instead of walking towards his office, Jimin led (Y/N) to a set of double doors. (Y/N) looked at him confusingly, “Did you move office rooms?” She asked as Jimin chuckled, shaking his head. 

Placing a hand on her shoulder, he pointed at the plated tag that was set on the doors. 

Kim (Y/N), Bangtan Tactician, it read.

Namjoon decided to have (Y/N) take his last name as she didn’t really remember her real surname, despite the fact that she had a superior memory. Jimin protested, thinking that (Y/N) should take his surname but Namjoon refused, saying something about "Wait till the right moment until she’ll have yours”, leaving Jimin quite confused and upset but nonetheless, he was happy for (Y/N).

(Y/N)’s lips twitched up slightly before smiling widely up at Jimin. “Really?” She asked excitedly. Jimin smiled warmly at her, “Well, go on.” Jimin nodded his head at the door. 

(Y/N) looked at the plated tag before placing her hand on the knob, opening slowly. She took a deep breath as she looked around in her new office. 

A desk placed in the back with a window placed on the right-hand side of the desk and another behind it. A shelf of books and drawers on the left-hand side and a small counter with a coffee maker and microwave. By the windows set two couches and a coffee table, giving off a perfect view of Seoul when relaxing. 

(Y/N) smiled as she walked around and turned to Jimin, “This is all mine?” She asked and Jimin nodded, “Yep, and if you want, we can have renovations in here to set it to your liking.” He says as she shook her head, “N-No, that won’t be necessary, it’s perfect the way it is,” She says and looks at him.

“Thank you.” She says, giving him a light side hug shyly and Jimin shrugged, laughing nervously as he ran a hand through his hair out of habit, placing a hand on her shoulder as a way of hugging back.

“No problem. I just kinda came up with the idea of giving you an office to yourself. Every one of us has one, so might as well give you one too, especially because you’re the one who will be planning our missions.” Jimin says and takes a seat on the couch. (Y/N) follows and turned to him. 

“So this is where I’ll be doing my role, as well as planning this big mission, hm?” Jimin nodded, “Correct.” He says and looked over at her, brushing a stray hair from her face and tucking it behind her ear, seems to be his favourite gesture of affection when it came to (Y/N). (Y/N)’s eyes slightly widen at his sudden gesture. Jimin seemed to be shocked as well and quickly recovered and leaned back on the couch smoothly. 

“A-Anyway…” He stammered, “Valentine’s Day is coming up soon,“ He started, looking at her with a nervous look, "I don’t think we have any other plans for that night so…” He trailed off as (Y/N) felt her breath hitch for a moment, knowing where this was going.

“I was thinking that we can go into the city and eat dinner ourselves,” Jimin says, a shy smile present on his face with pink cheeks. (Y/N) felt her lips twitch up a bit, her entire body heating up. “Just us—?”

Jimin nodded, “Mhm, just us two. I made a reservation for two at the finest restaurant in all of Seoul.” Jimin says quickly with a shy smile.  

“So, you up for it?” He asked with a charming smile. Jimin felt his adrenaline running fast, clearly nervous yet excited about the plan for the loving holiday. 

(Y/N) thought about it as she didn’t have much of a choice. Jimin had already made reservations at the restaurant as she just couldn’t say no to him, he has done so much for her for the past month and she couldn’t be more thankful for him.

Not only that, it didn’t matter to (Y/N) if she had no other choice, she truly wanted to go out with Jimin more than anything. She found Jimin as the most trusting, generous and kind person she has ever met and wanted to continue to show him her gratefulness. 

She nodded eagerly, smiling up at him quite widely and shyly, “I would love to, Jimin,” She says and scoots a bit closer to him, “Of course I’ll come!” She breaks into a grin, showing off her pearly whites and her sweet smile. Jimin felt his stomach twist in knots as his lips twitched upwards at (Y/N)’s adorable expression.

Jimin grinned, smiling widely as he leaned in closer to her face, “Great, Valentine’s Day it is, just us two.” He says and (Y/N) nodded, a warm smile present on her face.

“Just us two.”

~/~

After asking (Y/N) about the whole dinner, Namjoon called Jimin out of the room, telling him that he had work to do. (Y/N), however, took her time to look around her office once more. She truly loved the feeling it gave her, an almost comfy feeling as if she was at home. Home, She thought, thinking about her mother and then to Bangtan. 

She shook her head at the thought before setting down on her office chair, noticing a MacBook displayed in the centre of the desk. She smiled, noticing it looked much like Jimin’s, except it was a new one. She opened it, seeing that Yoongi must’ve set it up for her.

“Wow…” She whispered in amazement, feeling its smooth surface.

“Maybe I should start planning.” She mumbled to herself before doing a little research, finding a file that Yoongi included in her laptop, having her free to use if it helped with planning the big mission. 

After a few minutes that turned into hours, (Y/N) wrote down numerous things such as locations and people that may or may not connect to either Banjo or Mr Han, giving her a better chance into getting her hands on that one disc.

She then came across a photo of a man, a photo taken with Mr Han. The two were smiling, hands clasped together. (Y/N) tilted her head slightly, analyzing the photo. There was a handwritten note on the side, Mr Han, Weis Minjae, 2012, it read. She hummed in curiosity as scrolled through more photos, seeing that this Weis Minjae appeared in more photos the farther she went through the file. He was a rather middle-aged looking man, just like Mr Han. There was also another man shown in the picture, however, there was no name. (Y/N) bit her lip, writing down about his appearance, thinking that it may be useful for later use.

She then came across a photo with Weis Minjae with Mr Han pointing at the man with a gun, almost looking like he was threatening him.

Widening her eyes, her curiosity grew more until her office door opened, revealing Jungkook. The two youngest members send each other smiles, “What’s up Gukkie?” (Y/N) asked and Jungkook walked over to where she sat, sitting down on one of the chairs placed in front of her desk.

“We’re going to some party tonight for some business shit.” Jungkook shrugged as (Y/N) hummed with a nod, “Oh okay, are we all going?” She asked as Jungkook nodded, “Yeah, so Jin hyung sent me here to tell you. Apparently, we have to wear something fancy.” Jungkook grumbled, leaning back in the chair, looking around, “You’re office is nice.” He says quietly as (Y/N) thanked him before turning her laptop towards him, pointing at the Weis Minjae man, “Do you recognize this man? Or this one?” She asked, pointing at the two men as Jungkook leaned forward, examining the photo before shaking his head.

“Nuh uh, why, do you know him?” He asked as (Y/N) sighed, shaking her head, “N-No I don’t… Although, I feel like he can be a part of all this if you know what I mean…” She trailed off, looking at the photo before looking at Jungkook. Jungkook gave her a soft look, “Well, don’t worry noona, we’ll get through this. Maybe Namjoon or Yoongi hyung has an idea about him, who knows? It doesn’t hurt to ask.” Jungkook smiled, causing (Y/N)’s expression to break into a small smile as well, agreeing with him.

“Yeah, you’re right, I should.” She says as Jungkook examined the photo once more, furrowing his brow, “Wait…” He mumbled, “I know that guy.” He says, referring to the unknown man in the photo. 

(Y/N) stood up, “You do?” She questioned as Jungkook nodded, getting up as well, “Y-Yeah… He’s a technician,” He says, “He used to work for GOT7 before they cut ties with him.” Jungkook scratched the back of his neck, “Do you know why they stopped working with him?" 

"He started working for that Han guy.”

Jungkook sighed, “And you never know, may he has some connections with that Weis guy too.” (Y/N) looked down at the photo before sighing, closing the screen. “I suppose that’s true,” She says before bringing her laptop into her arms, “Thank you anyway, Gukkie.”

“No problem.” He says as they both start to walk out of her office, “We should get going. Jin hyung wants us all to get ready early so we can leave early.” Jungkook scoffed before grinning, “But knowing Jin hyung, he likes to go into parties late just so everyone catches a glimpse of him once he enters the doors.” Saying this left (Y/N) in giggles.

~/~

(THIS IS SO BORING I KNOW OH GOGOGOG)

While Jimin took a shower, (Y/N) took her time to put on her makeup. If she was being honest, it was her first time applying makeup on but after watching a few tutorials, she was able to pull through the struggle amazingly. After applying matte lipstick, a pretty rosy oak colour, she took one good look at herself, softly smiling at her appearance. She ran a hand through her hair which was now curled.

She unplugged her phone from its charger, sliding the device in her purse before walking over to the dress that was laid out on her shared bed. It fitted their theme for tonight, just simple black. It was a pretty black midi dress that was designed to be seen as a long sleeve, an asymmetric dress that had ruched sides from the waist down. Simple but pretty, She thought before stripping off the clothes she was wearing and quickly slipped on the dress before Jimin or any of the other members could walk in. 

Just after slipping on the dress, the washroom door opens. Jimin walked out of the steamy room, wrapping a towel around his neck, dabbing his face with it. Once he notices (Y/N), who was sitting on their bed, his lips curve into a small smile, “(Y/N).”

The small girl looked up, flicking her eyes over to Jimin, “Hey, Jimin.” She says, placing her hands on her lap, “How was your shower?” She asked, slightly cringing at herself as to why she would ask that. “Good,” He says, “To be honest, I thought I would be the first to get ready but here you are, looking like God’s gift from heaven.”

(Y/N)’s breath hitched which led up to her lightly coughing, feeling all the oxygen in her body leave, “W-What did you just say?”

Jimin, clearly unfazed by her question, walked over to his dresser, grabbing his favourite cologne in hands, spritzing a bit on high points. (Y/N) watched Jimin, seeing that he wore a dark grey long sleeve under a black blazer along with black slacks. Jimin then quickly walked over to his closet, grabbing black dress shoes before walking over to their bed, taking a seat as he slipped them on. Seeing that he started to put his shoes on, (Y/N) slipped on her four-inch heels.

Once Jimin was done, he got up, “Shall we go?” He asked and (Y/N) nodded, “Y-Yeah, I’m ready.” She says as Jimin helped her out of the bed, (Y/N) slightly wobbling but she managed. She stood up in front of him as Jimin scanned her hair, to her face, and to her body that fits perfectly in her dress, “Damn, (Y/N),” He quietly groaned, his hand on her waist never leaving, “So fucking beautiful.” He says, leaning down and closer to her face. (Y/N) lightly gasped at how fast he leaned in, her lips parted slightly. 

(Y/N) takes a shaky breath, replaying Jimin’s words over and over in her head. Although it’s only been a bit over a month since (Y/N) has known and lived with Bangtan, it only took her about a week since she has realized that she may caught feelings for the man in front of her. Although she was new to this, she couldn’t help but not deny these feelings.

Who was she kidding, she liked him. He was caring, bold, undeniably adorable and so much more to her. The way he challenges her and others through his words and actions to the way he truly showed how much he cared for her, she loved every single bit.

And with Jimin complimenting her like this, she couldn’t help but feel weak in the knees, not wanting to feel or look vulnerable in front of his eyes.

Jimin licked his lips, staring into her eyes and (Y/N) did the same, blushing deeply when their noses meet. “I want to remember you like this.” He whispered as (Y/N) let out a sigh, “Y-You don’t mean that…” She mumbled shyly, looking away with an awkward smile. Jimin clenched his jaw, his brows slightly furrowed as he brought her chin into his fingers, “What makes you think I don’t?”

Before (Y/N) could answer, their bedroom door opened. Jimin let out a sigh, giving (Y/N) a soft smile before gently letting go of her chin, his hand leaving her waist. (Y/N) gave out a shy smile before looking over at who came in, seeing Hoseok and Taehyung.

Hoseok was smirking whereas Taehyung had his mouth slightly gaped before closing his mouth. The two were both wearing something similar to Jimin’s. Taehyung had his silver hair slightly wavy, almost a messy look yet very fresh looking with his ears flickering every now and then under his headband. With Hoseok, his blonde hair middle-parted, revealing his glorious forehead. For a cyborg, he was handsome as hell.

But here they were, staring at (Y/N) and Jimin with shocked yet teasing expressions, “Ready to go?” Hoseok asked as (Y/N) nodded, “Yes, we are.” She says, looking at Jimin, who was only looking at her. Jimin nodded, “Yeah, let’s go.” He says as (Y/N) nodded, walking out the door with Hoseok.

Jimin watched (Y/N)’s figure as she walked out, sighing as he wished the two boys weren’t there to ruin the moment. Taehyung then walked up to him, a smirk already present on his face. “The tension in here is fucking intense. I feel it.” He says and Jimin hummed in annoyance, already knowing what was bound to happen with Taehyung’s constant teasing. 

“Let’s go.” Is all Jimin says as Taehyung giggled, skipping out of the door with Jimin.

“Wow, (Y/N), you look absolutely beautiful.” Namjoon smiled at her as she reached the bottom of the stairs. “Thank you.” She says with a smile as Jin agreed before looking at the rest of his members, “Aren’t I beautiful too, boys?” He asked as none of the answered. Jin scoffed, “What kind of children did I raise…” Jin muttered to himself as he motioned all of them to follow him.

“Our limousine is waiting out there for us,” Yoongi says as they all walk towards the front door. 

(Y/N) had to admit, every one of the members looked incredibly handsome tonight, especially with the dark clothes that they wore that went well with their neatly styled hair.

The eight climbed into the vehicle as (Y/N) plopped down between Yoongi and Jimin. “Who’s party are we attending?” Jimin asked and Jin hummed, “GOT7’s.” He answers and (Y/N) tilted her head, “I’m sure you’ll meet them tonight, (Y/N).” Yoongi says, “They’re really good people.” Namjoon nodded, “Yes, they really are as we will be attending a business meeting as the rest of you are partying.” He chuckled.

“Business about what?” Jungkook asked, “We’re asking them if they’re willing to take part of (Y/N)’s big mission.”

(Y/N) felt her lips curve into a smile, “Really?” She asked and Hoseok nodded, “Yes, they already knew about your situation even before we met you.” Namjoon then looked at (Y/N), “Once I mentioned about the mission, they immediately accepted. They found you a very interesting person and they can’t wait to meet you tonight.”

“I wonder how Jackson and BamBam are going to react when they see (Y/N),” Taehyung says with a giggle. Jimin sighed, “Oh fuck, once Jackson’s eyes land on (Y/N),” Jungkook says and Jimin grumbled, “I mean, who wouldn’t though.” Taehyung says. Before Jimin could playfully glare at Taehyung, (Y/N) gasps quietly in awe, looking out the window.

The mansion’s exterior was absolutely beautiful. (Y/N) thought that there must be amazing views in each room. “Wow…” (Y/N) says in awe, “This home looks like it was built inspired by monuments.” She says, causing for the boys chuckle at her. There were fountains, gardens, and so much more.

The vehicle stopped right where the entrance was. Jimin got out quickly, having his hand out, reaching for (Y/N). She grabbed his hand, thanking him as she carefully got out of the care with Jimin’s help. Jimin gave her a soft look as they both walked up the front stairs. 

There were two guards standing by the entrance as one of them held out their hands, “Invitations?” He asked as Namjoon nodded, handing him eight tickets as the guard looked at every one of them before handing it back to Namjoon, “Go right on ahead.” He says.

Namjoon led them as they all entered the GOT7 residence. Although the party had just started, there were many people already. However, inside was beautiful as it was outside. It amazed her as the foyer was lit brightly with the gigantic diamond chandelier that was centred between the two grand staircases. The room across the foyer was slightly dimmed, lights flashing like some sort of sophisticated club along with an open bar. 

“A dance floor?” Jungkook asked excitedly as Taehyung jumped, “Alcohol! Let’s go Kookie!” And with that, the two young boys left the group, leaving the rest chuckling with their behaviour. “Well, Jin and Yoongi hyung and I will be attending the business meeting now. Go on and fun you guys.” Namjoon says with a smile, mainly looking at (Y/N). “Make some friends, okay, (Y/N)?” Jin says as they walk away.

Hoseok chuckled before placing a hand on Jimin's shoulder, “I’ll be in the billiard room, Minhyuk and Jooheon are meeting me there. Let loose guys~!” And with that, Hoseok left without giving (Y/N) a chance to talk. (Y/N) smiled sheepishly, looking around as she spotted Jimin, who was simply smirking at her. “Wanna have a drink?” He asked as (Y/N) hesitated before nodding, “S-Sure!” Although (Y/N) hasn’t tasted alcohol once in her life, she was excited to taste her first drink, especially by sharing the moment with Jimin

Walking into the dance room, there were many men and women either talking, dancing, drinking, or doing all three. (Y/N) watched with curiosity, watching a group of women take down shots like a piece of cake, it truly amazed her. The two made their way to the bar as Jimin swiftly asked for to drinks from the bartender before turning to (Y/N).

Although the lights in the room we pretty dim, Jimin could see every one of (Y/N)’s features as clearly as he could in the daylight. He noticed the way that some parts of her hair seemed to shine in the soft illumination from the bar light as he observed with interest, a quickening feeling sensation in his chest at the way she smiled so brightly and sweetly that the corners of his own lips automatically curve upward at the sight of her dimples.

“You’re beautiful,” He blurted out. (Y/N) blinked several times as she lightly gasped for air, shocked at his words once again. She cleared her throat, “T-Thank you.” She says the bartender finally materializes their drink. 

Jimin hands her the shot of whiskey as he had a shot of his own. “This is your first time tasting alcohol, right?” He asked as (Y/N) nodded excitedly, “Yeah, it is. Will it taste bad?” She asked and Jimin chuckled, “That’s for you to judge.” He says before clinking his glass with hers, “To your first shot.” He says before connecting the glass shot to his lips, quickly downing the shot within seconds.

(Y/N) watched him, tilting the glass over her lips, drinking it until the last drop. She set the small glass on the counter rather roughly as Jimin watched her every move at her expression. He laughed at (Y/N)’s disgusted expression, “How was it?” He asked, a few laughs coming out every now and then. (Y/N) let out little grumbles before weakly smiling at him, “I-I-It… Was okay… Kinda worse than I thought to be honest.” She sighed as a wave of dizziness washed over her.

Suddenly, the DJ at the front of the room started to spin to another tune, slower this time than the other upbeat songs. He taps on the mic, “Let’s take this slow.” He says as most people started to pair up, dancing slowly to the music, “This is all for the lovebirds. Enjoy everyone~”

(Y/N) watched everyone sway softly to the music, pretty surprised at how fast everyone transitioned to the music. She then turned to Jimin who was looking quite uncertain as he leaned closer, looking as if he wasn’t sure about something.

“Hey.” He mumbled, “Hey…?” She says but sounding more like a question, a bit uncertain with Jimin’s expression. She stepped back but he moves closer.

“(Y/N)… Dance with me,” He says with an unreadable expression on his face.        

She stared at him dumbfoundedly, fiddling with her fingers, “Dance? I-I’ve never danced before so I’m not really good at this sort of thing…” She says, clearly embarrassed. Jimin shook his head, “Well, that’s not stopping me from wanting to dance with you still.” He says, making a bold move as he held her hand softly.

“And besides, I used to dance when I was younger,” He says, looking away embarrassingly before looking back at her, “I can teach you.” He says. (Y/N) was in awe, “Really? You mean it? You really want to dance with me?” She asked and he nodded his head eagerly yet smoothly, “Yeah.” He says softly before dragging her to the dance floor, his hand still holding hers.

The two navigate their way through the dancing people until Jimin found an empty spot.

Jimin slowly closes the remaining distance between them, placing his hands on her hips, (Y/N) lightly twitching at the contact. “Now, you put your arms around my neck.” He instructed, smiling warmly as she does exactly what he says. Once she placed warms around his neck, he inhaled deeply at the contact. However, this only made Jimin move closer, pressing his body against hers as they sway to the slow and steady rhythm. (Y/N) couldn’t tear her eyes away from him as he stared into her eyes.

(Y/N) was mesmerized just from his eyes alone as he beckoned her to stay with him. He leaned down, pressing his forehead against hers, truly an affectionate gesture that (Y/N) wished to capture forever.

(Y/N) held in a breath as Jimin suddenly buries his nose in the crook of her neck, causing for (Y/N) lose her breath once more at the contact. Noticing that she wasn’t doing much, she placed a hand on his cheek, smiling softly as she laid her head on his, her cheek meeting contact with his.

“J-Jimin,” She breathes, almost sounding like a mixture of a moan and a whimper. “(Y/N),” Jimin murmured, inhaling her aroma, peaches and chocolate.

“You have no idea what you do to me,” Jimin says truthfully. (Y/N) didn’t, not knowing that Jimin was lost with her and did not ever want to get out of the beautiful madness. (Y/N) hummed in acknowledgement, “And you have no idea how you make me feel…” She mumbled.

If (Y/N) was being honest, the only thing holding her back was about her whole situation, from Mr Han to Banjo, the lab to the big mission. Although (Y/N) was going to try her best, as well with the other members, she couldn’t help but have that one thought, thinking that this plan wasn’t going to work. And once this mission happens, she wouldn’t know if she would make it out with Bangtan or with Mr Han in the end.

Sensing that (Y/N) was being overwhelmed with emotions, Jimin slides his arm around her waist, pulling her closer as he pressed his forehead against hers once more. “Hey,” He says in a soft tone, “It’ll be okay, we’ll make sure that everything will go alright, and I’ll be damn sure that they do. And believe me when I say this, but I will pay for what he did to you and your mother.” He promised.

“I-I know,” She sighed, “And I will make sure your first is the last thing Banjo sees.” She says and Jimin chuckled at slightly dark humour.

And I’ll make sure that you’ll be standing by my side, no matter what.

=

WELL DAMN. so much tension in this, i rlly dont know it just kinda came out & i rlly felt like i had to be rlly descriptive about their feelings more so ye, here it is, i hoped yall enjoyed it although it was pretty boring omg i was cringing but itll all be worth in the end

and what i mean by worth it in the end, i mean like uuuuuuh there are some um foreshadow (?) or like hints for future chapters ?!?!

okay im done, LOL its 3 in the morning, i was playing superstar bts all day rather than typing this up omg

[silentauroriamthereal]

Okay, so this is extremely long, but my good friend @ravenmorganleigh tagged me in this a few days ago, and I would never refuse her. I’ll put most of it under a cut! This was very interesting to answer! 

1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?

Ooof, that’s a big ask! My very first fic was a Harry/Snape (yes, I know, groan away!) and the fact that I haven’t re-read it in well over a decade is suggestive that I never will, lol. I couldn’t even remember what it was called, so I just looked it up. It’s called Things Change (not linking it, sorry!!) and it was posted on skyehawke.com after fanfiction.net banned me in September of 2004. Lol. It’s still there, along with all of my other Harry Potter fic (of which there is over 1.4 million words).

2. What’s your most recent fic and how far do you think you’ve come?

I just posted Out of the Woods yesterday, which is an intentionally light-hearted story. My last serious one is the one I wrote just before it, The Clouded Eye, and I would say that between these and my earliest stuff, there is a significant gap in quality, yes. :P

3. In your opinion, what’s your best fic?

That’s honestly impossible to say. It depends what you’re judging on. For intricacy of plot, clearly my novel, Against the Rest of the World. For sheer fixing for series 4, which is a herculean task to explain, fill in the gaps logically, and then actually make it palatable, I would give it to the fix-it that most clearly addresses the most issues with series 4 – the Holmes family history, Eurus’ existence in general, Sherlock’s memory problems, Mary’s wholly unbelievable and unsatisfactory death, the practical issues with the entire concept of John and Sherlock having a child at 221B, etc – and that fic is Hell Hath No Fury. It’s a bittersweet ending, and honestly the most realistic I can see after that disastrous series. For sheer levels of how much it explains and delves into, I’m very pleased with it. For depth and intricacy of emotion, my personal vote goes to The Wisteria Tree. For pure porn, it has to be Best of Three. For one of my overall personal favourites, Bridging the Ravine. 

4. In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic?

Far and away it’s Best of Three, which is rapidly closing in on 100,000 hits, probably the only work of mine that will ever achieve this milestone.

Putting the rest under a cut! 

5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?

I’m equally proud of all of my stories, for different reasons.

6. Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?

Nah. I’m frankly proud of the silly ones and as to the early stuff, everyone has to start somewhere!

7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

I have no unfinished stories at the moment. I just finished one, so I’m officially between projects. That will probably last for all of 2-3 days and then I’ll start something new.

8. What’s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

Not applicable; I always finish my stories.

9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?

No, and no offense, but I find that entire concept ridiculous and rather disrespectful to the source material. Even when I disagree with the canon, I have legions of respect for it.

10. Have you ever written for a fandom without reading other fanfic for it?

Yes, I have exactly one Star Wars fic (though I think I took it down for some reason, years ago) and one Lord of the Rings fic, and I still have never read any fic for those fandoms other than my own.

11. Have you ever written a fic for a concept you know someone else has done before? How did it impact your writing process or feelings after posting?

Only once, at least knowingly: after writing three long series 4 fix-it fics (A Case For Domestic Propinquity, Hell Hath No Fury, and From the Bottom of the Well), I decided that I wanted to finally give in and write a well-known trope, and wrote a fake-couple-for-a-case fic (Bridging the Ravine), which is now up there as one of my favourite fics of my own collection. Happily, I have a personal policy that I don’t read other people’s stories while writing my own, as a deliberate attempt to keep myself free of influence. The downside is that I miss out on probably a lot of good fic. For this trope, I’d only ever read one or two stories that would fit that description and they were literal years ago, so I don’t remember any of their details and didn’t want to. I make a pretty strong effort to not just reproduce the same ideas that other people have already done, which is a tricky thing to do in a fandom that has a lot of similar ideas and desires for the final results (aka, Sherlock and John getting together). I really do try very hard, though! This particular story also contains way more original characters than any other I’ve ever written, many of whom have developed enough backstories to work as stand-alone characters in their own stories and I’m proud of that, too! There are 24 in total!

12. Have you ever written a fic and decided never to publish it? Why?

No. There are story ideas I’ve refused to let myself write, though. Or several that I’ve sat on for months in trying to refuse to write, like my first Freebatch fic. I have mixed feelings about Real Person Fic and tried very hard to suppress the urge to write The A.G.R.A. Complex, and managed to keep myself from doing it for nine months. But then I caved. For the few I’ve refused to write, either it’s been because the concept itself made me sad, or it centred around an unpopular sexual kink, or some other reason like that. But generally, if I want to write something, I’ll just write it, and if I write it, I’ll post it.

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?

I wouldn’t say that there’s been a huge change. I wrote more chaptered stories in the beginning, but I’m very busy and the stress of updating regularly is too much for me right now. I found my stride in the long novella. I strongly prefer the single-chapter format, but if it’s over 40,000 words, I’ll make myself break it up into chapters. The last WIP I posted as I wrote it was Against the Rest of the World, which I wrote over four months in the fall of 2013, leading up to the release of series 3 – in fact, I finished it two days before TEH aired! I was updating on average every six days, and some of those chapters were over 10,000 words long. It was a strain to keep it up, honestly – it meant that I was writing around the clock, day and night. It was the first thing I would do in the morning and the last thing I would do at night. I would come home on breaks at work to write, or take my laptop with me. I lived and breathed that story for four months. It’s told in first person voice (Sherlock’s POV), too, so it meant that I had Sherlock’s voice in my head at all times for four months. I missed him when it was over.

14. What’s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today?

I wouldn’t say that there’s been one. I’m always trying to go further and further into the characters, their feelings, their experiences, and relate them so that the reader can ideally not just watch the story unfolding, but feel everything that the POV character is feeling at the same time. One can always go deeper, and I will never stop trying. Obviously different stories call for a heavier or lighter touch that way, but you get the drift.

15. Have you ever purposefully written one fandom/fic idea over another because you knew it’d be more popular?

No. I write the stories that come to me. I never write aiming for popularity. Though of course, I paradoxically always hope that my stories will be! But I never think, “Hmm, what would the fandom market really go for?” I just write the stories that I feel I need to tell.

16. Have you ever stopped writing a fic/for a fandom because it wasn’t receiving enough attention?

Never. I think that’s lame.

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

My most popular, Best of Three! Similar to Bridging the Ravine, I wrote this one after I’d written my initial big trio of series 3 fix-it fics (Deductions of a Lesser Mind, Act IV, and Vena Cava), and just needed to take a break and write something lighter. I wrote the entire thing in under 24 hours. I get why it’s popular – the combination of humour, sheer smut, nod to The Three Garridebs, and then the twist of romance at the end is a fairly unbeatable combination, but at the time I was indignant by its popularity, honestly! I’ve written many, many better, less popular stories. What can you do? Over time, I’ve stopped being exasperated and just rejoiced in Best of Three’s popularity.

18. What’s your most underrated fic?

Ha! That’s so subjective! I really can’t answer that. Instead, I’ll just list some stories of mine that I’ve been very proud of and sometimes wish people would read more: Hell Hath No Fury (again, very proud of this one for its sheer amount of fixing), A Satellite Out of Orbit (this is a companion story to Where My Demons Hide that features Sherlock’s visits to Ella, set just before and during TLD, but also extending to after the point where the original story stops – not compliant with TFP, as both stories were written before it aired, but I’m still proud of them both!), Munich (probably less read because it’s an established relationship, which tends to be less popular), The Legacy of Martha J. Hudson (this one is SUPER sad and I’m not surprised that people have shied away from it, but I still think it’s worth the read! Good for when you need a cry? Because, as the title heavily implies, Mrs Hudson dies in it), Pater Noster (a rather dark fix-it, wherein Mary’s first job was to kill John’s father – I was looking for a reason that Mary thought that John really wouldn’t love her anymore that was that much worse than her trying to kill Sherlock!), The Final Proof (this is even sadder than the Mrs Hudson story – it’s a retirement fic wherein Sherlock dies, then John dies at the end, too. Everyone who has read it has cried (seriously, like 98%) but also said that they found it really beautiful, so - ?). 

19. If you had to pick one fic/scene/chapter of your work to describe your entire portfolio to a stranger, which would you pick?

Well, that’s easy! (Note: it’s not!) Possibly Vena Cava.

20. Have/Would you ever rewrite a fic? If yes, would you take the original down?

No, I wouldn’t rewrite a fic. What’s done is done. Although there are always the typos I missed the first time around. :P

21. If someone starts kudosing and commenting your fics in a spree and has a few works of their own, would you go look through theirs?

Only if I weren’t working on something of my own at the time, which almost never happens. What I really don’t like is when someone reads something of mine and then obligates me to then read something of theirs in turn. It makes me uncomfortable and I find it a bit rude. When I discover that a regular commenter also writes, then I will often make an effort to seek out their work when I’m between stories, but I hate having it pushed on me.

22. Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed?

Yes, but not in this fandom.

23. What’s the nicest review you’ve ever gotten?

Impossible to say. I’ve been graced with some of the best, most thoughtful readers/commenters in the universe!!

24. What’s the meanest review you’ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it?

I don’t like to focus on these, but I’ve received numerous death threats for my portrayals of Mary, especially back in 2014 (the year series 3 aired) when even Johnlockers still liked her. That only changed within the past year or two! Disliking Mary was an extremely unpopular stance at first. I received a number of these as comments on stories, particularly after I disabled anonymous asks here on tumblr. For a long time, one specific Mary stan kept on reading my stuff and leaving me hate. I really wondered why they kept reading my stuff when it obviously was never going to be what they wanted to see. Note to haters out there: that’s a piss poor persuasion technique. As to my writing itself, no, not really. When I started writing fanfic in 2004, in the world of Harry Potter, one of the worst things a reviewer could call a fic was “fluffy”. The meaning of this term has changed significantly in the past 14 years, but what it meant then was that it was a story seriously lacking in real substance, OOC as hell, and badly written. While these days it tends to me “romantic, light-hearted, heart-warming, sweet”, etc, it still makes me wince any time someone calls a story of mine “fluffy” for that reason.

25. What constructive criticism, however well-meaning, always makes you feel bad when you see it in a review?

I wouldn’t say that there’s one aspect that gets commented on in a regular way. Though @totallysilvergirl beta-read my novel and pointed out a specific thing I do in terms of sentence structure, but it never made me feel badly to have it pointed out.

26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised?

I’m always glad to hear when someone liked the main POV, and I tend to get that compliment the most when it’s a Sherlock POV. I’m also always pleased when people comment on how much a story made them feel – that’s really what I’m going for! Also, in Against the Rest of the World, I spent hours and hours on background research – locations in particular, but also things like local architecture, shipping routes and times, flight times, time zones, language, etc, so I’m always pleased when someone comments on that level of detail in that story.

27. If you could only ever write crossovers or single-fandom fics ever again, which would you pick?

Single fandom, all the way. I’m not a fan of crossovers or AU’s. I’ve written exactly two crossovers in my time. One was a Harry/Draco story in which Draco nominates Harry for the old TLC show What Not To Wear, to Harry’s fury. I had fun with that. The other, and this is pure crack now, was one of my earliest stories, a Darth Vader/Voldemort crossover. Though it isn’t actually a crossover, as DV was Harry in Polyjuice. It was very silly.

28. if you could only ever write for a single crossover or a single fandom again, which would you pick?

Single fandom, again.

29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy?

Not applicable here; I only write for one fandom at a time. JKR turned me off Harry Potter with the ridiculous epilogue on book 7 and then her attempts to include more “canon” information in her interviews. It annoyed me hugely – but mostly it was the epilogue, which was (deliberately, most of us thought at the time) extremely difficult to write around, though I tried it for a few stories. When I finished that (my last HP story was posted in 2010, but it had been a year since the one prior), I thought I was finished with writing and with fandoms in general. Then I discovered Benedict Cumberbatch in May of 2013, and through him, Sherlock. By the time I was on ASIB, I knew with a sinking feeling that I was simply going to have to write this fandom, too. Lol. I posted the first chapter of my first fic on June 15th, 2013.

30. Do you continue to write for a fandom after you’ve moved on or do you focus solely on the new one?

History would show that I focus strictly on the new one. The only exceptions to strictly Sherlock have been my four Freebatch stories (The A.G.R.A. Complex, Having Your Cake, Always Through the Changing, and A Room with a View).

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?

No one, I hope. I’ve written a large number of the characters in the Sherlock universe, including (in approximate order of frequency): Sherlock, John, Mycroft, Lestrade, Mary, Molly, Janine, Ella, Mrs Hudson, and Sally Donovan. Sherlock and John are my favourites to write, Mary and Molly my least favourites.

32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?

Sherlock, absolutely. He’s where my heart lives. That said, some of my favourite stories of my own are John POV’s.

33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?

No.

34. Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way?

The first time I wrote a Mary POV (Moving on/Making do), I was honestly afraid that I’d made her too relatable, too likeable, but the people who read the story still disliked her. Ha! And again, the sheer popularity of Best of Three always surprised me.

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

Yes, I never meant to ship Harry/Draco, but it just happened.

36. Have you ever sincerely written a ship you do not support into a fic?

Yes, for the necessity of canon compliancy, I’ve written John/Mary, which I loathe.

37. Have you ever purposefully bashed a character/ship in a fic?

No. I do my very best to portray the characters as I see them in canon. There are definitely people who would said that I have bashed Mary in my stories, and I respectfully and thoroughly disagree. Mary is canonically: an assassin who killed for the highest bidder, meaning that she killed without principle, for nothing other than money. Personal gain. Gross. She’s also someone who cut and run, leaving at least half of her team alive to be killed or tortured without even checking to see if there was any possibility of rescuing them. She displayed the same urge to run away and leave John behind later, too. I find this distasteful and cowardly in the extreme. On top of this, she canonically gaslights and belittles John, which is emotionally abusive behaviour, yet “playfully” insults both him and Sherlock on an ongoing basis (“I’m not John; I can tell when people are lying” – two insults with one comment!). She displays incredible entitlement after she attempts to murder John’s best friend and doesn’t seem to think that she should need to apologise for what she did, nor that John had the right to be incredibly angry with her over it. She also showed zero signs of remorse for any of her behaviour, past or present – lying to John, anything and everything she did in her deeply criminal past, etc. When people comment and say, “I loved your evil Mary!”, my typical response is “do you mean canon!Mary?” because that’s all I’ve ever tried to write. The ONE exception I will make here is my story Scars, which is a deliberate attempt to extrapolate from Mary’s canonical gaslighting and show where that behaviour typically leads. I did my homework and consulted two therapists who work specifically with men who have been abused by women for this story, and both confirmed that they saw Mary’s behaviour as gaslighting and abusive, too. I wrote this story partly to combat the then-popular notion that Mary and John displayed “playful banter” or “bickering” at the beginning of HLV, when I saw it as clearly one-sided and not at all playful. I still don’t consider this “bashing”, however.

38. Have you ever purposefully written something you know your readers would find uncomfortable/would not enjoy? If yes, why?

Yes, the above story. Why? Because it was a story I felt had to be told. Also: The Final Proof (the one where Sherlock dies of old age), which I knew would make people cry. Again: I write what the muses prompt me to write!

39. Do you consider yourself to have a readership?

Yes, I’m very lucky to have a huge readership and it’s wonderful! (Thank you!!!!!) I don’t have any specifics on the numbers in this fandom, but when I was writing HP fic, someone wrote her doctoral dissertation on HP fanfic and she collected stats from the various archives that were active at the time, then contacted the twenty most read authors in the fandom. To my shock at the time, I was apparently the eighth most read author in the slash fandom (male/male fic), though I was far from being the eighth most popular!! She estimated my readership at close to 200,000 readers. This was HP, though, the biggest fandom in history. I don’t imagine that my readership is anywhere near that here in Sherlock-land.

40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?

Um, yes. I’m now close to 1.9 million words over 78 stories. I write constantly, when I have the time to do so. Occasionally a commenter will say something like, “write more, please!” and while I know it’s meant as encouragement, it can also feel slightly exasperating. I honestly don’t see how I could humanly be producing MORE. But I try. :P

41. If you cross-post your fics on multiple sites, do you have a favorite? Are there certain fics you would only post on certain site?

I only use ao3 these days.

42. How many views has your most popular fic gotten?

As I said, Best of Three is closing in on 100,000 hits now.

43. Your least popular?

My least-read story would have to be my most recently posted, which I wouldn’t consider my least popular by a long shot. That’s honestly difficult to identify because of course one has to consider the length of time a story has been posted. It’s not fair to consider a story posted yesterday against a story that’s been up for four years. But the newest story has about 2,000 hits at the moment.

44. Do you follow/favorite/kudos/comment/review more stories than you have received?

Thanks to my readership, I don’t think that would be possible.

45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?

I really only have one major work that isn’t fanfic, which is the original novel that I’m still working on getting published (and by “still working on”, I mean that I haven’t had time to work on this since July or so, whoopsie). Its technical genre definition is spy thriller, so let’s go with that! It’s loosely based on Against the Rest of the World with a dash of Vena Cava, a spy thriller with a gay romantic subplot.

46. Do you consider yourself a diverse author?

Yes. While my stories typically come to a similar result, I think they all get there in noticeably different ways! I’ve written amnesia, hurt/comfort, disability, many different character POV’s, gentle romances, heavy angst, deathfic, retirement fic, thrillers, fix-its, addiction (more in HP), magic (HP again), long novels, short sketches, character sketches, silly stuff, dark stuff. If you look at my stories chronologically, you will see a pattern of dark-light-dark-light – if I’ve just written a heap of angst, I’ll typically switch it up and write something lighter, or a different character voice, or a completely new idea (such as the Mary/Molly pairing in The Clouded Eye), etc. I do try to keep it fresh!

47. If someone you know in real life who isn’t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

Only if they were already familiar with the canon and open to reading graphic male/male sex, and that limits most of the population that isn’t already in the fandom.

48. Does anyone you know from outside of fandom know you write fanfic? Are they involved in the same fandom too?

A few people know. I’m very careful about who I tell.

49. Has anyone in your life ever read your fanfic just because you wrote it?

My mother. :) She reads all of my stories. We have a very good relationship!

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

Yes, it’s had a huge impact on my life. It’s been my secret other life since 2004, with a 3-4 year hiatus in there. Sometimes the drama gets to be a bit much, but the creative outlet of writing and the joy of sharing the love for these characters with a whole universe of other people is just unbeatable.



[perfectionistincrisis]

Longest post ever. Keep Scrolling! Look away!

About my brother leaving. Now there are two sides to it. One is how he is so young & he will move so far away & has to take care of everything. He has to study first of all, which is the main thing. And this in itself is a whole new experience. Starting university & facing all the pressure & tight schedule & deadlines that come with it. And to top that all, he will move to a new country. An entirely new place he has never been to & one which is very very very different from the country where he was born & raised & literally spent entire 18 years of his life in. Now whether this is the lifestyle & culture & religion we are talking about, or just the weather. You name it, & it's something different he has to face. Let's go back to studies. The ‘studies’ part, is totally acceptable! I mean it's his responsibility. No one will or is expected to do it or help him with it. This is totally on him. He has to figure it out himself. If he needs help, he needs to look for it. If he has a problem he needs to find a way out, or deal with it. The idea of having an elder sibling or family to help you with your studies, i believe, is totally absurd when someone is moving to university. At school, it might be ok but when someone is starting uni, cmon, I think it's time to stop already. Let them grow up on their own. You can't be wiping their ass for them their entire life. Not to mention, everyone has their own share of responsibilities, their own affairs to handle. Everyone of us are struggling everyday, to build our futures. And NO. This is not selfish. This is our responsibility towards ourselves. We owe this to ourselves, and no, you are not in any way, supposed to expect anyone to actually help you deal with your responsibilities in life. So with you share of duties, is it really selfish to focus on your affairs & prioritize them? & also what good will you be really doing by helping someone? How much of someone else's responsibilities can you own? There will come a point where you’ll have to leave them on their own except that now you've already spoiled them and they'll be more lost than ever. So yeah, plus i'm not even studying engineering so anyways i couldn't do much or anything at all but even if i could have, i really never liked the whole concept of doing it in ‘uni’. I have such a strong opinion about it seeing my cousins and other people. Meaning, it's not just me randomly thinking about it and commenting but i rather did always have such an opinion about this matter. So yeah that's the only ‘okay’ thing! From now, things are changing. Now, let's talk about the end of everyday! When he comes ‘home’/ dorm room. He doesn't come home to anyone. Whether it is your siblings being lame and stupid, or your parents being in a fight, or some really good day where everyone's happy and laughing - you're not getting any of it. Is anyone bringing you food? Cooking for you exactly what you eat? No. When are you going to bed? No one cares other than you. Who’s making sure you wake up and don't miss class in the morning? Who’s making you breakfast? Filling your water flask? You buy your food if you have time before class. Such a good day, just 3 classes and you're home by 11. Who do you go home to? Yourself. Weekends? .. Nvm But we are only trying to provide the best future for him. And i can NOT disagree to this at all. Not even for a second. Since almost a year, my dad & my mom has thought of everything & every tiny thing that we will need for him. Whether it is the fact that winter clothes are sold in shops during winter and winter in ksa was 6 months ago, so keeping that in mind and shopping for him things which is just too hard to get in the shops right now cause it's totally summer rn over here! Or whether it is something more serious like meeting all the different formalities to apply for a visa. And shopping for him all these months. Making lists of everything he might need. Things like plate, glass, things like rugs, things like brush, toothpaste, things like pillows, bed sheet, things like laundry basket, warm gloves, things like rain coat. Like you name it, and it somehow is something he actually needs. Also, we are so concerned about providing him the best. I think all my life, a part of shopping included looking at the price tag and seeing if its a good bargain. But now, suddenly thats not done anymore. Anything he touches (which is very little btw) & anything we choose for him (which is like every single thing we see), its just getting the best for him. Its like theres this thing in our heads. Like this is it. My brother hardly gets anything for himself. He is kind of different. So we are just getting him all these stuff because once he goes there, he might not get it for himself. And even if he does, us getting something for him now will be the last time we are doing so. Cause from now on he'll do his stuff himself. So like i was saying. We are only trying to provide the best future for him. And i can NOT disagree to this at all. Not even for a second. And this is a stage that comes in everyone's life & we can not and should not run from it. This is the right thing to do in my brother’s case. Everything till now has gone so smoothly Alhamdulillah. But it still doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Especially when i think of my mom. I get the whole idea of how it's the hardest on the moms. In fact i have even witnessed many moms crying & breaking when their kids had to leave and all. But. This is different. I am talking about ‘my mom’. I respect all mother’s love, i do. But about my mom; unless you live under the same roof as her, you will find it impossible to believe how much of her heart & soul & energy she invests on our family. For which, I will be forever grateful & will consider myself blessed. I will never be able to start and finish talking about her but let me mention some interesting stuff! Let's start with me! So im 21. And i don't do my laundry (none of it at all), i don't vacuum (the house or even just my room), I don't iron my clothes (never did), I don't clean the dishes (not even my own plate or glass or water flask), I don't clean my room (the furnitures & stuff) & interestingly, i don't even know how to make tea or coffee (unless it's those sachets you get, but i just use them at uni). TADA - Mom does all of that for me. I don't remember the last time i did ‘any’ of the things i mentioned. I can't say i never did any of them though, but it was only for one of the 2 reasons: 1. I was younger and mom got angry with me maybe & she’d punish me by making me do it OR 2. I voluntarily offered maybe cause it was vacation and i wasn't lazy & stuff (btw this vacation, i'm totally lazy, i never offered or did anything) So like i said, i don't remember the last time i did any of it. Infact, to TOP ALL THAT, mom makes sure of all my ‘excess’ needs too. She pays so much importance to them. Like, my diet. Diet - meaning the food i eat. Now regardless of whether im trying to lose weight or not, i totally dont like asian food, more specifically, all the daily food cooked in a bengali household. I dont like ‘curries’. I prefer ‘dry’ food. It doesnt matter what it is. Chicken, beef or veggie. If its a ‘curry’, im not putting it in my mouth. Curry meaning the whole making it liquidy with all masala & stuff. And i ‘especially’ hate chicken curry. I also dont honestly remember the last time i ate it. And i am NOT exaggerating but i stopped eating it like way back in grade 11 or 12. By chicken curry, i mean the MOST REGULAR meal in almost every bengali household, more like an EVERYDAY meal especially for the kids. And it works for my bros too lol. But no way on hell im eating it. The reason is, this is one food ive been eating since i learned to ear and then after around a pretty 13 to 14 years of eating chicken curry i had to say NO one fine day xD xD Ok now i have 2 phases: one is the normal daily phase where unis going on and i'm stressed and all i eat is junk food, or maybe something not junk but has to be all delicious or maybe sometimes i'll consider eating healthy and want some classy salad and stuff. Mom always has to prepare a different meal or me. Then she has to prepare something else for her and dad too cause chicken is kids stuff and also mom does not eat chicken at all if she is the one who cooked it so yeah. And then there's chicken for my bros xD On top of that, when im in the other phase where im trying to lose weight - Oh god. The whole menu of food changes. All green veggies and salads and stuff. All grilled chicken, grilled fish, grilled beef. She does all of that. Also. she THEN ‘decorates’ my food cause she knows i love taking pictures of my food. She decorates my food. She makes sure I like the plate on which she is serving the food; whether the plate will look good in the picture. She makes sure I get to take a perfect picture. If she gets confused about how to decorate something, she'll tell me to do it and ask me what i need. I mean man, who does that to a 21 year old???? I know i am spoiled! Now ^ i got carried away! All that is a small gesture of what my mom does for ‘me’. And i'm like her eldest kid. Like she actually thinks i can take care of myself ‘more than my brothers can’ Yeah do you see where i'm going with this? You can not imagine HOW much more she does for my bros, like ‘woahhhh’👌 I’ll just give one example for each bro. My elder bro - he never actually had to open his closet and decide on which dress to wear till now in his life!!!!! Yesss!!!!! Mom even takes out his clothes. Clothes. Every garment :):):) and keeps it ready for him to wear every time he showers, or changes, or goes outside :) and that's the one who’s already 18 and moving soon! And my younger bro - well he is kinda different. Like he is all concerned about his looks and he demands on choosing his own clothes from his closet and wearing them xD xD but then mom still feeds him lunch and dinner most of the day and he is almost 14 :):):) So yes. Idk how my mom is going to handle it. But what i know is that she is such a brave and strong and intelligent and amazing woman mashAllah. She is so hard-working & she puts aside all her sickness and pain & prioritises our needs, and our wants, even if theyre really stupid. And she means the world to me. And she is my number 1 person. And I can give up anything for her. Words cannot express how much she means to me. I once had to stay a night away from her during the 1st week of my uni in 1st year of med school. That was the night I actually realized how important she was to me. I was away from her and due to some circumstance I couldn't communicate with her. That whole night, i lied in bed crying & asking Allah to let me meet my mom in my dreams as I fall asleep now… Idk if I ever told that to anyone before, but yeah here it is. Ahhhh. God!!!!! Such a huge post wth man )@+%;’!(%)#!%(£))@!%!%) but Ughhhh I just needed to get it all out of my system! Hmphhh