#i think my complex relationship with gender probably plays into it

[princekirijo]

I saw the Barbie movie today and tbh I have mixed feelings about it. It was really funny in parts I won't lie and I liked the humor but there was something so... I don't know. I think the message was nice enough but the film felt shallow?? Idk

[toytulini]

thinking about my oc Bytte. and. her gender is Aro. her Aromanticism is inextricable from her gender experience.

[azullumi]

wanderer and ayato — a family with them ☆彡

summary — family and children, how would they be as a parent and husband?

characters — wanderer and ayato (w/ gender-neutral reader)

tags — fluff, established relationship, familial relationships; headcanons

word count — 1348

a/n — this mainly focuses on what they're like around their children hahahahahah

WANDERER

Wanderer, however rough his personality is, actually shows himself getting along with children and being good at dealing with them, especially ones of his own blood, quite well. It was surprising actually, pleasantly surprising, him being able to get along with kids and having a soft spot for them was a fact you never knew but definitely needed to know.

Of course, it's not like he was immediately as accepting, unafraid, nor open as he is right as of the moment. He was once afraid, clueless, and anxious because he didn't want to end up accidentally hurting his child and it took him some time to overcome that, reassuring himself that children are not as fragile as he thinks.

After overcoming that fear of his, when he first held the hand of his child, he felt like breaking down and crying on his knees. When he first carried them in his arms, he held them gently yet filled with fear. How could a child be so small and soft? From then on, he was determined to protect and give the world to them.

If he has more than one (or multiple) child, he would try to treat them fairly and equally, he makes sure that no one is left out of anything or feeling like they're not being paid attention to. After all, he doesn't want them to experience the same things that he did. He knows how horrible it feels and he couldn't imagine having them go through that.

He would give them everything that they wish for but on certain conditions that they must pass or follow. He doesn't want them to become spoiled children who'll cry whenever they won't get something that they want as he doesn't like that. His conditions aren't that complex nor hard though.

"I'll give you that as long as you promise to always be a good child." 

He’s protective. Not over or too much but he’s definitely protective as majority of the time he’s worried about their safety or them encountering any kind of danger so it causes him to become strict when the situation calls for it. Permissions will often be asked from him especially when it's about going somewhere quite far away.

“My friends invited me to hangout and play with them on the river."

"Honey, you have to ask your father for permission. You know that even if I'll allow you, he always has the last say."

Ultimately, he'll end up allowing them but someone has to accompany them and it's either you or him.

Although as time passes by and his children have grown, he becomes less strict and protective. Becoming  a carefree father as he just lets his children do anything that they want as long as they know what they are doing and are responsible with their actions. However, he still enforces some rules on them like curfews so they don’t get overboard and carried away.

He has a playful side that he shows to his children, occasionally teasing them but then silently panicking if they would end up crying because he doesn't know how to deal with that. Probably told them that Santa isn't real

"(Name), they are crying."

"Did you make them cry again? I told you not to do that."

He always has time for his family, spending more than half of his day bonding and just being there for you and his children. He doesn’t wish to become an absent figure and wants to show that he’s always there not only for you but also for them also.

He never knows if he's being good enough for his children so thoughts often wander and linger inside his head, thinking and believing that he’s not a good father, however, his children think otherwise as they see him as the best father that they could have.

He's doing everything that he can to be the father that his children need and not be lacking towards them, through his own actions, words, and methods, he displays his affection and support for them in multiple ways.

KAMISATO AYATO

The pure definition of a loving, doting, and affectionate father. Overprotective and strict, especially if he has a daughter.

He tries to be sweet and understanding towards his children, giving them full support and showering them with love always. It's a given that he'll get along with his children easily knowing him and his personality.

He spoils them with gifts always and wouldn't hesitate in buying them what they ask for. He tries his best to make time for them and spend time with them, often finishing his duties early and immediately.

"I'm here."

"You're early, what about your duties?"

"I finished them, my love. Anyways, where are they?"

He'll support his children in whatever path they'll choose and go down on. They want to be an artist? Full support for them and he would even buy the materials that they need. If they even need someone to teach them, he'll hire a professional. A samurai? A blacksmith? A fisherman? Or anything in general, they'll have his full support. As long as it's not anything dangerous or just illegal.

He would take his family on vacations and places when they wish to unwind and just relax. They could go to Mondstadt, Liyue, Sumeru, or anywhere they wish as long as they can and as long as his duties and responsibilities as the head wouldn't get in the way.

However, in times of festivals wherein he's one of the organizers and handlers, he wouldn't be able to accompany you nor his children in walking around and having fun in the said event. Thus you're left explaining everything to your children.

"Will father not come with us?"

"Sadly, I don't think he'll be able to, sweetie. But who knows, he might be with us later. For now, let's just enjoy everything, okay? Your father has prepared everything here and we should appreciate it!"

On rare occasions, he'll actually show up last minute and accompany you all in walking around and at those scarce moments, you'll have these memories burned in your memories.

In contrast to his sweetness and loving side though, he's actually strict and overprotective. It can't be helped though as he's the head of the Kamisato Clan and people are often out for his throat. His child becoming involved in these dangers are inevitable so he has to be wary and careful everytime to avoid any catastrophe or tragedy from happening.

Usually, when they would go out, he would have people following them and protecting them from the dark as it would ease his mind since he can't be there for them in case something happens. Knowing that they're with the people he trusts just clears his worries.

He's also cautious and mistrustful around the people they are surrounded with, you will never know who's trustworthy or who's going to stab your back. Everyone is considered a threat especially towards his family.

He doesn't wish to put pressure on his own children and would wish for them to leave a life wherein they are able to reach and achieve their dreams. However, he does understand that someone has to be the heir of his position and will soon become head of the family. It's just some wishful thinking that his children could live a carefree life that he couldn't have.

"Will my children live a happy life?"

"I'm sure they will, they have a great father like you."

"What if I'm not?"

"Oh, you definitely are."

That doesn't mean that he's not happy right now, however. He has everything that he could ever wish for, a loving family of his with an amazing partner like you. He's leading a fulfilling and successful life so how could he ever be ungrateful? He only wishes for his children to live a life wherein they're happy also.

Overall, despite his busy schedule and everything, he tries to always be there for his children no matter what and he'll probably never know how thankful they are to have a father like him.

— navigation | masterlist

[izartn]

What's good about KnH is (besides its main char and bc of Maomao) the way it manages the power dynamics and what life was as a woman without falling into utter pessimism and powerlessness or full romanticism; which is a reason I usually avoid like the plague historical/pseudo-historical fiction with female leads.

Usually I'd be super skeeved out by the power Jinshi has over Maomao but the way the series presents both of them, their personalities and their agency (limited as it is for Maomao but it's there and it counts very much) it brings out all the best and interesting parts. I trust this series to get twisty with them bc it establishes so well Maomao own character and understanding of her situation and the ways Jinshi can and does or doesn't take advantage of his power over her.

Like. It's presented as a problematic element, but also unavoidable given their social situation and the world they live in, so I can trust given everything else this show has done when solving the mysteries and presenting us the situations of other women, that the romance will be treated with that same weight.

Honestly if you've read over what I like to read/watch in my tumblr you'll notice that twisty and even toxic/unhealthy dynamics are very much within my favorites, but it needs to be told in a certain way. And I'm much more difficult to satisfy when talking about het romance.

So to watch KnH, notice it's primarily about Maomao life and the various misteries/medicines/palace intrigue and the romance is playing second fiddle riffing on all the themes presented on the plot? And it's complex, and plays with messy power dynamics of gender and class, but never loses Maomao her personhood? Wow.

Also. Jinshi is so BL chara coded omg XD like, he's very clearly based on a kind of shojo ML prototype (hello tamaki suoh!) but it also pulls from BL in his case (nothing to do with their romances but I think of Yan Xiaohan re:his relationship with the imperial power, from Golden Terrace lol)

And yet his romance with Maomao wouldnt work near as well for what is trying to say if they weren't a man and woman (which I love in their case, is what has me fascinated). Yes~! Get into the meat of how fraught it is for a man and a woman to be together when the man has so much power over her. Get into it!!!!

He's so so messy and fun as a chara too. Sheltered and not at the same time, you really notice all the things he misses by way of his privilege of being a noble born man (and specifically royalty, last ep (19) left that very clear he was doing a ritual probably by proxy for the emperor and also bay exchanges people. Maomao noticed and buried that thought far far below her subconscious but we all now who he is lol). Like. The way he fumbles and ends up essentially harassing Maomao at the start sometimes, which is both played for comedic effect and also upsetting. Mmm.

Like I said, I like complexity.

Also that part when he buys Maomao contract and he goes to collect her and she's all dolled up, and the clear implication by everybody but our mains (who clearly prefer to live in willfully blind land although for Jinshi I think the subtext of what he's doing lands when he sees her) is that in any other case she'd be his concubine/side-wife. It's not their situation wight now, and she's put to work as a live-in maid and apothecary and put to study (he wants her to assist him in politics lol I love that, but also he's so so lonely) but it's very much what the palace rumor mill says.

LIKE. I love the messiness! It could go soooo badly, but it also could not and there's Maomao living at the edge bc despite herself and what she says, she wants more from life, but also as she says the rear palace isn't all that different from the high class brothels and ugh. That tension. She has to depend on the favor of a man as a women of low class but she also could lose her head! GAH. And then there's feels involved! Aaagh.

[princeblue]

Would Sanemi be as hostile towards Genya if he was a girl? Would he hate seeing Tanjirou near her?

Ooohh bit of a complex question for me to answer so this’ll require a bit of a ramble, but essentially yes and no. I don’t particularly imagine Sanemi being less cruel towards a female genya than he would be towards canon Genya. But I don’t see him being more cruel to her either for being a woman, I just think he’d play into whatever he has into his hands. And unfortunately being a woman/girl means you have a lot more for the world to use against you. Especially in taisho era Japan.

For example, slut shaming her, calling her a whore, etc etc. are all very plausible things that Sanemi would do to a female genya in the post canon sense, because if he’s not above blinding her to drive away then why would he be above slut shaming her to drive her away, especially if it’s something the men in their childhood/kyogo used to do to torture her and Sanemi always protected her from it. So if Sanemi is the one now telling her these horrible things, then she must surely recognize her big brother hates her/does not want her in his life <— his thought process.

There’s also the fact that in taisho era japan, women could only get married if a father, or male figure in the family, so sanemi in this case. If he allowed it, so he could also hold that over her head and personally pick who he would want her to marry and so and so on. Another example would be Sanemi telling Genya he’ll forgive her after the eye debacle thing as long as she quits the core and “and then I’ll personally pick out a suitor for you to marry.” Since his whole thing is wanting genya to be married off and to grow old and all that shit. (But not really when his baby starts growing up)

Which would probably be disstressing to her for a number of reasons, no.1 she’d want to marry who she wants to marry, no.2, she doesn’t want to be married so soon she wants to reconcile with her big brother and grow up with him and then be a woman and then start picking out suitors.

Again, to me this isn’t really sanemi being more cruel towards a different version of genya but I’m sure that’s how people will take it anyways. To me this is just sanemi utilizing whats at his disposal. If all of this applied to canon genya off the bat then he would immediately use it too.

But anyway as for seeing her around Tanjirou/any males for that matter? Yeah, I think he’d hate it. Saying that dynamics don’t shift upon your gender is stupid, your agab plays a tremendous role in how you grow up and how you’re perceived and how your relationships grow with the people around you.

He would hate to see her around Tanjirou because he’s a demon slayer, because he has actual literal personal connections to Muzan which is the strongest demon in the world. And yes, because he’s a boy. He’d see a boy around his sister and think all of these things about how he’s dangerous (I even have a fanfic on this where he confronts Tanjirou for courting canon genya on my ao3 btw it’s called only the wind can whisper his name) and blah blah but most importantly his mind would zero in on a boy is around my baby sister and all those fun big brother instincts would come swindling in because he got so focused on slaying demons for her and viewing her as just a little baby, he forgot that other men/boys would view her as something much more grown and fun.

But that wouldn’t be an immediate realization or thought for sanemi with canon genya, it would take observing to realize Tanjirou likes genya before he goes a boy likes my baby brother and then all those types of big brother instincts come in.

And similarly enough, he would worry more about the type of men she would take interest in, would she marry someone like kyogo? Would they hurt her? Use her for nothing more than a breeding cattle like Shizu was treated? Or would she marry a demon slayer and always be second priority and be widowed so very young. Or would she marry someone too weak and have to take all the brunt of the burdens, or would she strike gold and be married to someone who Actually likes her.

I don’t see sanemi trusting her to pick someone good and kind like he would trust canon genya to pick someone good and kind.

But I think sanemi would hate seeing Tanjirou near canon genya anyway for all those reasons listed above, I do change a few things here and there for when I write male genya & sanemi and when I write female genya & sanemi because once again, dynamics, behavior, and how you’re perceived all change based upon your agab. But that’s the fun in genderbending to me tbh, what would change about this character if they were the opposite gender, but how would they still be completely themselves. It’s like a game and challenge for me. And genya just so happens to be mine (and Sanemi’s) pretty princess.

[nenilein]

Hello! Apologies for sending an ask out of the blue but considering your familiarity with localisation differences in persona 4/golden, I was wondering if anything comes to your mind regarding this aspect and how the game depicts queerness and queer themes? Thank you!

Heya! Don't worry, I was thinking people would probably ask stuff like this. After all, I already replied to somebody's tags asking this same thing previously, but I know not many people saw that, so let me use the chance to go into more detail:

Unfortunately, Persona 4's treatment of queer themes is not a result of the translation. The only things that were down to translation choices were small things, such as which pronouns are used in which situation (because Japanese does not at all have the same concept of third person pronouns as English, and the way first person classifiers that mean "I" work is very complex and a lot more vibes-based than actually tied to gender.)

But for the most part, everything is pretty much the same. Kanji's reaction to Chie mumbling about something being "off" about how he interacted with Naoto that first time, the tent scene, Yosuke's extreme insecurity in his own sexuality in addition to everyone else's... I think maybe the only thing that's a biiit better in Japanese is that Teddie is kiiinda genderfluid in Japanese, with the artbook outright stating that he doesn't necessarily consider himself "male" when he's in his bear form, unless it's necessary for a joke.

A lot of this can be traced to the really odd relationship the game's director, Katsura Hashino, has to queer themes. In interviews about Catherine Fullbody (a game which infamously has a rather weirdly handled gay romance route which, however, is notably also the only romance route in the game that cannot possibly result in a bad ending), he talks about how he's always admired queer people for being "strong" and wanted to write queer stories, but couldn't really do it until Fullbody because Atlus higher ups were afraid of backlash from the fans.

Traces of this are actually seen in Persona 4 Vanilla's data, where remnants of a surprisingly well done romance route for YOSUKE, of all people, are still present. That route made it far enough into development to have voiced lines in both, English and Japanese. However, it was dummied out in the final game and its script content was removed. Yosuke STILL has the "girlfriend flag" in the code that all the female romance options also have, but in the finished game it only checks whether you can hug him during his social link or not. Everything else was dummied out. You can still find the voice files on the cutting room floor if you want:

And yes, the "I like you" line is unambiguously romantic in Japanese. His wording is very hard to misinterpret.

However, in the finished game and the rest of the franchise Yosuke's bisexuality was reduced to an in-joke of the developers. It's most poignant in Persona Q (the first one), where if you get the "marriage" scene with Yosuke in the second dungeon, his reactions differ WILDLY depending on which Protagonist you are playing as, far more than other male characters. With Makoto Yuki he acts nonchallant and deadpan about it. With Yu Narukami he acts like a blushy Tsundere and panics constantly. So, yeah.

Okay, so, if the director had interest in writing queer stories since before Persona 4, why is Persona 4 the way it is then?

Well, because - and there's no way around it - he sucks at it.

Katsura Hashino has to be one of the clumsiest "gay activists" I've ever seen in my whole darn life. He finds queer people "cool", but seemingly never had any queer writers or sensitivity readers on his teams and it's caused enormous blunders in how these themes have been handled. For example, when after Persona 3 it was pointed out to him that the writing of the female characters in interaction with the male characters was bad, he immediately hired more female writers and gave them free reign for how to handle the female characters from then on out. But apparently the same thing never happened with his mishandling of queer themes. He wants Catherine's Erica and Rin to be empowering figures for trans women and gay men, but makes a lot of blunders in how he has other characters interact with them to the point it buries his good intentions. Erica's boyfriend having gay panic upon realizing she's trans is treated as "funny and cute", even by Erica herself. Rin technically being a monogender alien really undermines his story of becoming more secure in his sexuality. It goes on and on like that.

The intention with Naoto's story was to point out the extreme sexism in Japanese society and how it forces female nerds to find alternate modes of self-expression, but the clumsy choice of including surgery themes in Naoto's dungeon completely buried that for especially western queer audiences. Most people don't even remember Naoto's dungeon was outright modeled after a Kamen Rider villain hideout. They completely shot themselves in the foot with this one. Additionally, the way Naoto is handled AFTER the dungeon makes her (I'm using that pronoun because she calls herself a "woman" in Japanese in the game) seem more like someone who's on the verge of discovering they are X-gender (the japanese word for "nonbinary") than a repressed girl. Like, right down to how she has Rise help her experiment with clothes in the canonical drama CDs only to realize she really is uncomfortable with skirts and go for an androgynous but less restrictive look going forward. The way she dresses in the Golden epilogue and P4D is pretty X-gender core if you ask me. If they had leaned into that they could have genuinely have had something AMAZING, while also presenting the themes of sexism they wanted to explore, but the lack of queer sensitivity readers kind of ruined it.

Same for Kanji. The way they write him makes it seem like he's bisexual or pansexual, rather than straight, but they kinda shove that part of him aside after his dungeon is done, leaving his actual orientation up in the air and wasting a really good chance for representation. NOW, given what happened to Yosuke's social link, it's quite possible the original intent WAS to explore this more and it got cut, but as it stands, we'll never know. The huge problem of the internalized toxic stereotypes his Shadow presented never being reflected on and put into their right context in the rest of the game, when his social link could've given a great opportunity for that is also a huge shame.

All of this happened because of Atlus being unwilling to let their writers go all out with queer themes in fears of alienating a cishet audience AND because Hashino never sat his writing team down with any actual queer writers to sort this shit out and learn how to get across what the team was ACTUALLY trying to say. Now, given, Persona 4 was far from the only Japanese media property with that exact issue at the time, but it hurts especially much in its case because of the game's themes of exploring the truth to its logical conclusion, as well as psychology. These are issues that a remake REALLY would do well to address and correct. I feel like they actually will HAVE to do that, because sensitivity readers have become the NORM in handling these themes now in Japanese media, rather than the exception. You can thank trail blazing mainstream works like Zombie Land Saga for that.

All in all, Persona 4's handling of queer themes is an exercise in frustration that I hope is corrected soon.

[hiskillingjar]

i swear that he's not

older brother made a name for himself with the cops scumbag fuck, but...

Relationship: Ren Hana/OC Rating: Explicit Contains: Fauxcest, Incest Roleplay, Light Forcemasc, Gender Play, Vaginal Sex, Dirty Talk Length: 2900+ words

a very fun request from @ramunehana for his OC, Eden, thank you so much, nox <3!

my fic commissions are open, so if you want a fic of your own, enquire within!

“I wanna be like you,"

Eden's voice was a soft murmur in the dark haven they had made with each other, their bodies warm underneath blankets, pressed together and curled up tight in their nest of comfort and security. 

“Hm?” Ren raised his head from Eden’s chest, his ears twitching, their naked bodies pressing together even closer. "Like me? In what way?"

"Promise you won’t be mad?"

"...Promise?" Ren said with a little chuckle. “I mean, I suppose I do. Why would I be mad?”

"I don't…want you to call me a girl, anymore." Eden then said after a long beat of quiet, her legs curling a little tighter around Ren's as her gaze shifted downwards, shy, demure, submissive. "I don’t want to be a girl."

For a short moment, he was silent, just holding Eden close before speaking up again, his gaze softened considerably and his arms tightening around her, them, him even more. 

"No?" He tilted his head, his voice quiet and curious.

"I wanna...be a boy, I think," Eden nodded, as if assuring himself. "Like you."

Ren smiled again, wide and toothy (showing off his fangs, gleaming in the dark), gently carding his fingers through Eden’s hair in a comforting gesture.

“When’d you start thinking about that, hm?” He hummed softly, gently tugging him even closer (if possible) and resting his chin on his head.

“I probably have always thought it," Eden admitted with a little sigh, wrapping his arms around Ren's waist, and pressing their chests together. "I just…didn’t want to say it to anyone. Or to myself, really. Not until this,” His claws trailed down Ren’s back. “Not until you.”

Ren hummed again, low and thoughtful, nestling his nose into Eden’s soft hair (the space just between his ears, just like Ren’s, no wonder he’d developed such a complex about him) and kissing the top of his head, before pulling back to get a better look at him.

“You're...pretty like a girl, though,” He mused with a slight smirk, the arms around Eden’s little waist shifting downwards, squeezing around his thin hips. “Are you sure you want to give that up to be a gross boy like me?”

"Hah," Eden huffed out a little chuckle (he didn’t laugh often so something about it made Ren’s heart lurch when he heard it), pressing his face against Ren's chest again and scenting him like a cat. "I don't mind being a gross boy. I mean, I’d rather be a pretty boy, though…” He paused. “I might like that a little more, actually."

"Yeah?" Ren grinned, pressing another kiss to Eden’s head as his hands started to roam downwards, and grope and squeeze his ass, their tails tangling as Eden’s began to wag slightly, evidently pleased at the attention.

"Yeah...that means I could stay pretty for you," Eden murmured hotly, leaning in to kiss a raised scar on Ren's shoulder. “I know you like pretty things...”

“I do.” He chuckled, sighing at the feel of his lips on his skin. “I do like pretty things. Pretty things, cute things…and I’ve got a pretty, cute thing sat with me now, that I like an awful lot…”

“I like you too,” Eden said with a minute smile, his whispers hot on Ren's bare skin.

A little shiver passed through Ren’s body, in spite of the heat, and he squeezed Eden a little harder, digging claws into the soft globes of his ass.

"Good boy."

Eden went still in his arms at that, but, knowing him as he did, Ren knew to crawl even closer to him, to press his knee between the boy’s trembling legs, to feel his wet mound oozing with pre-cum against his skin, evidencing his obvious arousal.

"Oh wow, you really like that, don't you?

Tittering to himself quietly, Ren then gently pushed Eden down, forcing him back and pinning him down to the bed (blanket nest, ground, whatever), straddling his thin hips and moving his groping hands to pin his wrists up above his head.

“I guess I'll have to keep that up…I mean, I would have accepted you regardless,” Ren shrugged with a smile. He might have been a murderer (kidnapper, abuser, rapist) but he wasn't an asshole. “But when you get this excited, just being called a ‘good boy’, wow…"

"Ren…" Eden whined needily, his expression somehow even more demure than he was before, sharp, little fangs worrying the edge of his full lips.

Ren let out a soft, shaky sigh at the image of the naked boy spread out underneath him, his knee still pressed up against his leaking mound. It pressed down with a little more pressure as Ren caged Eden fully to the ground, his eyes practically shining with mischievous intent, devouring his body with his gaze alone.

They were around the same height, but somehow, Ren had a way of making himself appear ridiculously imposing and intimidating.

"You're cute." He said quietly, letting his voice drop into a low, almost dangerous tone. "My cute, needy boy. And I haven't even done anything to you yet…"

"What are you gonna do to me…?" Eden asked softly, sweetly, his lids fluttering with each new press of firm pressure on his little body.

“Whatever I want.”

Ren moved his knee away from Eden’s cunt and reached down with one hand to part his legs a little wider, giving himself ample space to slot into. He nudged the head of his hard cock (it had been hard since the word 'go') against his slit, then, and rolled his hips down to create just a little bit of delicious friction between them.

"Anything, everything, I want," He continued, his voice not shaking or shifting despite his actions, dipping his head down to Eden’s neck and nipping at a particularly sensitive point. "And you'll be a good boy for me, won't you? Let me do whatever I want, without complaint."

"Y-Yes," Eden managed to stammer, sharp fangs now digging completely into his lip as he writhed underneath Ren's (slightly) heavier body, eager to take him inside. "Anything..."

"You’ll be my own little prince, to care for, to love, to change,” Ren finally let out a groan as he slid his cock inside of Eden, pleased by the absolute lack of resistance, he was that wet and excited. “...God, Eden, you're dripping..."

Eden's breath hitched a little more, his pale skin flushing a healthy pink as one of his legs wrapped around Ren’s hips, trying to pull him closer. 

"Don't...mm,” He whined as Ren slid in even deeper. “Don't tease me-"

Ren smiled against his neck, before letting his mouth wander down and over his exposed collarbone, leaving harsh, little bite marks along the way.

"Ah ah, I think I'll tease you as much as I want. I think that’s kind of my job." He hummed, licking at the marks he left, almost like he was apologising for something. 

"Mm...I guess you're not so much a little sister anymore though, are you, Eden?"

"Mmph," 

Eden quickly looked off to the side to hide an even deeper flush of his pale cheeks.

He hated this particular game, the one that Ren was so fond of playing with him, though that loathing was mostly due to how much it made him blush and squirm.

A big, devious smile came to Ren’s face, seeing Eden’s discomfort (relishing in the tight squeeze around his cock it led to, the pulse of pleasure that came from scratching his sadistic itch). Leaning in even more, he pressed his forehead to his, looking down on him with wide, almost manic eyes.

He loved this game.

“'Little brother,'" He said thoughtfully, deliberately, like he was tasting the words on his tongue. "I think I might like that a little more."

"Rennn..." Eden whined a little more desperately, squeezing his eyes shut as his legs tightened around Ren’s hips.

He couldn't stop himself from smiling at his needy desperation, sweetly pecking his forehead, then his nose, then his cheeks, then his lips with quick, little kisses, all while keeping him pinned down against the ground and drilling his cock even deeper inside him.

"You're adorable, little brother." He whispered, leaning up to bite Eden’s ear playfully, digging his teeth into the sensitive flesh painfully hard. "And all mine, to tease and play with..."

"Nghh-" Eden growled lowly through grit teeth, his tail wagging a little more - a warning sign to back off that might have worked, had he not been under a fox.

Ren, of course, was not affected by the warning in the slightest, smiling wider and holding down his wrists even tighter, claws digging into the delicate skin, threatening to cut and marr.

"Mm..." He moaned headily, his smile shifting into something darker, needier. He could feel his knot swelling with blood, nudging at Eden’s entrance, and he was eager to persist. "Let's just hope that Dad doesn't catch us, hm?"

"D-Dad?" Eden stopped growling, his eyes shooting wide and his tail stopping its wags abruptly.

"Mhm, Daddy~" Ren hummed, making sure to emphasize the last word (tittering at the little grimace on Eden's sweet face) as he reached down to gently prod at Eden’s entrance, assist in the stretch, as he eased his knot inside the tight, wet warmth. 

"Mmff...s-so tight…" Eden's full lips parted with a gasp, his hazy eyes going up in a practically pornographic expression, so lost in the sensation of the stretch that he almost didn’t catch what Ren was saying.

"Yeah, Daddy in the other room…” Ren grinned, biting his lip as Eden squeezed so perfectly around his knot. “If he were to wake up and catch us here, like this, what do you think he'd say?"

“Nnff…” Eden could barely speak as the thrusting began again, slow and deep, deep enough to feel like an organ was getting bothered.

“Daddy’s gonna be soooo pissed with me, knowing I've made his little girl into a little boy who takes it like a needy slut." He said softly, almost sweetly — if it weren't for the predatory, possessive gleam in his golden eyes.

"I'm not a slut,” Eden then said quite quickly, as if snapping out of a daze, trying to wrench his wrists from Ren's firm grip. “D-Don’t call me a slut, mm-!”

"Ohhh, a slut isn't a bad thing to be, baby,” Ren cooed with a little pout, almost looking saddened that Eden wasn't playing along perfectly like a good brother should. “It just means you’re doing such a good job pleasing me, just like Mommy does with Daddy."

His own dirty talk was making him shiver.

"…Though, I guess we’re not playing ‘Mommy and Daddy’ anymore, are we?”

“No…” Eden's eyes fluttered again after a particularly rough thrust, his mouth open and gasping. “Nnn…”

He couldn’t manage an entire sentence without succumbing to the pulsing feeling of Ren’s cock, though, quickly relenting his struggles when Ren pushed even deeper, pressing their chests together and caging him down completely.

"Aw, there we go. There's a good boy," Ren praised, his manic grin turning into a gentle smile and finally moving his hands away from Eden’s wrists to hold his face in his hands, gently caressing his cheeks with his thumbs.

"And a pretty boy too, aren't you? My pretty little Prince..."

Eden groaned mindlessly, wrapping his arms around Ren's shoulders and holding onto him tight, his little body arching up under his to push their hips together, chasing after more pleasure.

"Mmf..." Ren let out a shaky sigh as his own body grew even warmer, his tail wagging to and fro behind him as his thrusting picked up the pace, little by little. "Look at you, Eden, all needy and desperate like this, just for me. Mm," He sighed again, pressing his forehead to Eden’s and relishing in their desperate beauty. "My brother’s so good for me. A sweet, little whore with a sweet, little cunt…”

"God, Ren..." Eden murmured into his shoulder, his body (his cunt) growing even tighter as he mouthed at one of his scars, grazing his teeth against it, threatening to bite.

"You gonna be a good whore and not wake Daddy up, right?" Ren asked quietly, shifting his head and mouthing, himself, over his neck, kissing, sucking, and biting in equal measure.

"Yes...I-I'll be quiet, I won't wake Daddy..." Eden whispered obediently.

"That's it,” He murmured (almost deliriously, he was so happy), as one hand slid down Eden’s back and roughly groped his ass, half tempted to slap him, just to feel him tighten up again. “Such a good boy, listening to your big brother so well…”

They weren’t so much people, Ren thought, as they were bodies writhing on top of the blankets then, animals rutting mindlessly in erratic, almost violent heat and seeking mutual pleasure.

The comparison was apt, he thought, as he let his impulses get the best of him and roughly smacked Eden’s ass, resulting in a loud yowl of pain and an even tighter cunt to pound into.

"I'll give you everything, Eden…” Ren gasped breathlessly, pulling himself from their shoulder and peering down at him, his naked body ripe and ready for the taking. “I'll change you, so you're the perfect boy you’ve always wanted to be..."

"T-Thank you…” Eden murmured with a genuinely appreciate smile, the most he’d ever seen the boy smile before. “Hah, god…"

Ren felt compelled to lean in, then, and kiss them roughly, probing tongues delving into each other’s mouths, teeth scraping lips and gum and muscle. 

If he could, he’d want to consume Eden entirely, like he had (like he had, like he had, like he had…) but he couldn’t do that without killing him, which he didn’t want to do. He opted, instead, for pushing his free hand into Eden’s soft hair, curling it tightly into a fist so he couldn’t pull back from the kiss, and pushing even deeper inside of his trembling body.

He was breathless and shaky, more vulnerable than he had ever intended to be, and the feeling of being so close to this boy was driving him to cling, even tighter, as if he’d slip away otherwise.

“I can give you a dick if you want one,” Ren whispered hotly, pulling back from the kiss to speak again. “I don’t mind. I wanna give my little brother anything he wants.”

“R-Really?” Eden’s eyes widened a touch. “You mean that?”

“Mmhmm,” Ren smiled, the sensation of pleasing Eden (his little brother) feeling better than anything he’d felt before. “I think it would be pretty cute, actually…”

Suddenly overtaken by his desire by his desperate desires, Ren bucked his hips even deeper, pushing his cock inside the hot, little body, his pace fast and erratic as he placed a hand on Eden’s throat and pinned him back down to the ground, a better space to thrust against.

“NGH!” Eden grunted, squeezing his eyes shut at his sudden shortness of breath, as his body was relentlessly pounded to the point of near discomfort. 

It was probably too much for him to take, but Ren didn’t care.

At least, not right now.

He'd apologise after, lick Eden's wounds and say sorry for being too rough and hurting him, but for now, all he cared about was seeking his own pleasure.

And pleasure comes quickly, to Eden’s relief. 

A stilted posture, a low groan, a sensation of spilling fluid, and it was all over.

In lieu of collapsing entirely, Ren lay his head down on Eden’s chest with a long sigh, idly running his hand over the slight swell of his small breasts.

It would be a shame to lose them, he thought to himself, and hoped that Eden wouldn’t bring it up.

Taking in deep breaths and idly massaging his sore throat, Eden carded his fingers through Ren’s hair, sighing himself as the knot gradually softened and Ren managed to ease out of him, smearing a line of cum down his thigh.

Hopefully, an eventual prescription of HRT would work as a kind of birth control.

Hopefully.

"You're so good to me," Eden mused offhandedly, idly scratching a spot behind Ren’s ear as their nude bodies pressed together (somehow even closer, like they were two beings trying to merge into one) and curled up tight in their nest of comfort and security. 

"Aw...that makes me kind of sad,” Ren replied with a crooked little smile, easing himself away from his boyfriend’s chest and looking up at him with a raised brow. “I don't treat you good at all."

"Good enough,” Eden replied with a little shrug and a sigh. “Better than anyone else."

"I feel like that's a very low bar,” Ren murmured, shifting his position to rest more comfortably against the younger man. “You should have higher standards."

"If I had higher standards, I might try and escape," Eden replied, cocking his head slightly. "Accept the compliment..."

Ren laughed at that, shaking his head and burying his face into Eden's shoulder as he hugged him, his boyfriend, all his. 

"Fine, fine. I will…" He hummed with a smile, pressing a quick kiss to his collarbone. "I'll have to get your collar when you're done resting...it's been a little too long without it, hasn't it?"

Eden didn't say anything, but wrapped his arms around Ren's waist and pressed his face into his soft hair, taking a slow inhale of his scent.

His tail wagged, to and fro, voicing his discomfort without words, but Ren didn't mind.

Just as long as he didn't say it.

"I love you, Eden~"

[trueshredguitar]

I saw your post tags about transitioning would save Hawkeye pierce and I’m very curious, say more (if you’d like)

hawkeye has a lot of scenes that convey gender nonconformity under a humorous lens. sometimes it’s scenes implying that he’s sexually or romantically attracted to men; these scenes aren’t just “haha he’s expressing attraction to men,” they’re often based around the premise of hawkeye being a wife, being a woman, being pursued/“claimed,” and a shocking amount of references to pregnancy? see: “i know you’re a general and i’m just a captain but i wanna have your baby! i’ll kiss all your stars!”

i.e. the joke being made is about hawkeye liking men but it’s RARELY phrased as him being a homosexual man, it’s OFTEN phrased as him being a heterosexual woman

and sometimes it’s simply scenes calling him a girl or making references to him being soft/feminine/emasculated. often times he will make these jokes HIMSELF and call himself an aunt, a mother, a girl, demure or other adjectives that women were socialized to aspire to in the era. his friends will often refer to him like this without any hint of mocking, just lightheartedness (trapper referring to him as “miz hawkeye”)

i apologize that i don’t have the links right now but if you go into my archive and look in my “mash” tag there are video compliations of a lot of these moments, and the compliations don’t even include all of them

also imo these moments hawkeye has a) contrast with klinger’s relationship to his femininity/gender nonconformity, as he is all about playing with outward presentation, and b) compare with margaret’s relationship to HER gender. which, margaret’s gender by itself is an absolutely wildly progressive examination of womanhood where she is allowed to be “masculine” in many aspects of her life while still asserting herself that she is a WOMAN and always will be despite what she does, or how her life, career, or personality looks. that SHE is the arbiter and determinator of her gender and not how much she keeps into the femininity box. i wish i had concrete examples of why i think this, but it’s been a little bit since i watched the show and i think it’s mostly me reading too much into things

i think also hawkeye’s disassociation issues and complex ptsd is really like. advanced in contrast to other people in the 4077th. he’s the main character for a reason and that’s because he’s the one with the deepest emotional wounds and the drunkest, promiscuous, saddest, most insomniatic doctor in the place. there had been psychological issues in place before he had been sent to korea and none of them were very cut-and-dry as we find.

in conclusion i think the fictional man with noted androgynous presentation who flouts gender conventions as well as masculine army structures and patriarchal power structures and constantly refers to himself as a woman and uses a psuedonym instead of his birth name and has very pronounced psychological issues and self-harming tendencies could be trans in 1950-whatever without good words for it, or be unable to in any way shape or form live authentically, and i think being able to be a woman would have probably made hawkeye’s life just a little bit easier. maybe transitioning wouldn’t save her because estrogen won’t airlift you out of korea but like maybe hawkeye would be a little less buffeted by the outward winds of the world. if any part of the world wouldn’t have buffeted her harder for it, anyways.

i mean, one of mash’s biggest themes at the end of the day is that we’re trapped in the time loop, a small and restrictive and violent thing set up by forces outside of our control that will hurt us if we defy them or dare to do anything the loop doesn’t already contain. and it hurts everyone, all the time, and no one knows why we keep doing it, only that we have to. and hawkeye’s the central victim of this. the time loop is war, the time loop is gender, the time loop is the american empire, the time loop is religion, the time loop is being who you are, forever, as They have forced you to be

[wrinkly-walls]

The Woodsboro murders as a movie

A (probably unnecessarily long) meta post about how, in universe, the killings were thought of and concieved throught the lens of a movie rather that, well, serial killings (in MY OPINION). This is borderline incomprehensible but bare with me ok :)

DISCLAMER! Same as my last post, this is only taking into account what we're told in the first movie. I don't think that what they tried to do in Scream 3(by this I mean Roman, not the movie set which I do think is cool) is interesting and I prefer to mostly ignore it :) Ok that's all.

As we all know, one of the main reasons why Scream (1996) is such a great movie is it's meta aspect: the self awareness and self referential nature of the film, that works both as a horror movie and as a horror movie parody (accomplishing both things beautifully I may add), is what makes it stand apart. I don't think I need to explain why Scream "Do you like scary movies?" is very meta, so I won't.

What I want to get into is the movie inside of the movie, the movie that Billy and Stu thought they were making, and basically why I think that was the case (the fact that rather than simply being serial killers they created a narrative). By doing this I also want to try to explain why they failed in-universe and why it could've literally never worked the way they were thinking about it.

Let's get started!

So, first there is the why. Like why even would they do that, you know? We don't know whether everything was planned before they killed Maureen, or if after the fact they decided to keep going, but either way I think that it was always going to happen. By that I mean that, as I mentioned in my motives post (which you should check out ;) ), I don't think that murder in on itself was enough for Billy. As I said, I think that the feeling of regained control, of making everyone unwilling actors in his movie after his mother left, was even more important that the murder in itself. Something that I noticed on a recent rewatch that I had totally forgotten about is the scene where Sidney is in the bathroom and a cheerleader is talking about how she thinks that Sidney is actually the killer. The girl says something along the lines of "she felt so bad but she realized teen suicide is out this year and she decided that murder is a much more healthier form of expression". Ironically, I think that this kind of applies to what Billy went through mentally. Obviously, he didn't not kill himself because "teen suicide is out", but I do think that the notion of murder as expression, one that aligns with his interests (horror movies) is one that resonates with him. The way they do it, the murders are as much creation as they are destruction, you know? After his mom left, it's likely that he did what he could to cope with that fact, and in this case this would be to parallel himself with the many (many, like there's so many wtf) horror villans that don't have a mom, or otherwise have a complicated relationship with her (as Sid would put it, mommy issues).

With this we have Billy simultaniously embodying two figures of power in movies, on outside of the movie as writer and director; and one inside, as the unnatural unstoppable force of the slasher (I'm not even going to get into the slasher as a figure of power in slasher films because that's very long, but I recomend reading literaly any sort of analysis of gender in slasher because it's very cool). This is basically the biggest expression of power one can achieve: he both decides the "genre", what role people play; and literally who lives and dies. By being what are probably his role models both in and out of the screen, he manages to sucessfully be put back into a position where he feels comfortable.

To go off on a tangent, this is also why I feel that any analysis of Scream that doesn't consider the concept of Stuilly at all is missing some of the complexities of the characters, because while it is clear that by doing all of this Billy hopes to reclaim lost power, he also willingly decides to share this newfound power. Something that I love about Billy and Stu is that they aren't killers, they're slashers. Or more accurately, they're a slasher. And no matter what some people say on the internet (it makes me so fucking mad free my boy Stu he gets miscaracterized in all fucking directions) Billy also lets Stu be writer and director. We are explicitly told that Stu "though up the ending" (another way in which they themselves present their spree as a movie), an ending Billy himself praises, and if that doesn't say something about their relationship I don't know what does. Not to mention the literal stabbing. The only way I can really see the situation play out like this, by which I mean Billy deciding to share what the killings mean with someone else, is if there was affection of some kind. One could also say that it's just because he couldn't do it alone, or to having someone to take the fall; but that would also mean admitting to not being powerful, admitting that he alone cannot neither plan or go through with his movie, and that's a huge admission of weakness. All this to say they were gay.

Going back to the main thing, the narrative is not that of normal killings. As is established pretty clearly in the movies by the fact that Sid is the main character, the way the the killings are planned are also done with her very clearly at the center. The plot of Scream is that, a plot, one that is (at least at the start) not really that different from other slashers. You have a murder in the past, in this case the main character's mom; which establishes some stakes and just makes the character more interesting. Then, the new murders start, and at first it's just two people who don't really matter: they are killed, on a narrative level, just to start things up again, to get Sid (and the, for them imaginary, audience). After that, a violent attack, complete with taunts about Sid's mother; and then- the boyfriend! He gets arrested, Sid feels completely crazy, just to then be taunted again about how she gets innocent people in prison. Then the party happens (I skipped the bathroom scene because to me that was not them, it being them makes no sense to me), classic final act. And that's certainly a great movie plot, but it's a pretty stupid murder plot. It's way too complicated and risky, Billy could've not been released; and the party is way too ambitoius. To many things could (and actually do) go wrong.

Another important thing that I sorta already mentioned is the way they talk about it, both before and after the reveal. Before we have the scene at the video store, where they talk about "suspects", and they mess with Randy saying that according to movie logic (which he himself follows during the movie: he actually thinks in a very similar way to Billy and Stu), he could be the killer. Then there's Billys creepy-ass "it's all a movie", and I don't think that needs to be explained. And in the third act-well, it happens a lot with the "ending" and the virgin thing.

But again, as is said in the movie and I sort of said on my motives post, the way that it is a "movie" is not a "crazy" way. By this I mean that they absolutely knew what they were doing, and if they didn't do it like that they would've done it some other way. Billy himself says that "movies don't create psychos, movies make psychos more creative!". So the "artistic" side of the murders is just how the violent thoughs they surely had before manifested in this specific case, with this specific characters.

So, I've established that the murders are thought of like a movie, and why they would even do that (or why Billy would, as I said in my motives post Stu basically did it for funsies and 'cause he's in love, I don't think to him it was that deep. Though of course he still benefited from the control aspect, and maybe that paired with the murder of Casey and Steve...). Now what's left is why I think that this conception of what they were doing is actually the reason why they lost.

The main thing is obvious: in-universe, they are actually killing people with a movie plot. That is stupid behavior, because well, in real life things don't have "narratives". In real life it's not that you can't pick your genre, is that there are no genres to pick. In real life, there is no way you can control as many things as they were trying to (as they needed to for the plan to even work.)

One of those things, to me, is the fact that Dewey and Gale were not characters in their murder movie. Why would they be? They literally have nothing to do with the plot. They are outside the friend group, in a different age range, and if you narrated Scream from Billy and Stu's pov they would only appear at the end, and maybe as background characters before that. So when these two show up at the party, it's a real fucking problem. You can even see Stu a little bit after they show up, and for a second he doesn't look happy at all. We have no way to know how much they had to rework the "third act" to fit with this, but ultimately, it is because of Gale their plan fails. Gale, this random fucking reporter they see on TV sometimes.

There's also the "slasher immortality" thing. Stu himself talks about "the sequel", and in slasher franchises you basically have two ways to do that: either the slasher is the same, or the final girl is the same. The first is obviously much more common, and it's clearly what they were hoping for. The slasher can't die, so they can't die. (what they don't realize, and what makes the scream franchise sort of work even if I don't like where they took it, is that ghostface is the slasher, not the literal killers in each movie. By making their costume so obscuring of who's behind the mask, and giving ghostface a personality of their own, they are separating themselves from the slasher. You can have a sequel with different killers, because like the victims in so many slasher franchises, they are completely replaceable.)

Another reason they fail is very well known, and that's the goddamn stabbing. It's really the most stupid thing they could've done at that moment, but- knowing how things are structured for them, can we really blame them? I mean, they had to do it while Sid was alive, otherwise it wouldn't have been in "the movie". And according to the way they behave, they are so fucking sure they've won. They aren't worried at all, because in their narrative, this is the end. Everything that they accounted for is on it's place. Nothing can go wrong, right? It's a perfect ending.

And just the ending in general. As I said, the party is way too ambitious. Before that, we know they've killed four people successfully, but in all those cases they didn't have to really try that hard. Maureen was just one against the two of them, and she didn't expect it. They had total control of what happened. And the same happens with Casey and Steve: these people had no idea they could even be in danger, and there were few. Even Casey and Steve were taken care of separately. Same with the principal, and even later with Tatum. What they wanted to do with the party is, logistically, a huge jump in difficulty. But they think they can get away with it because that's how slashers work: of course there are higher stakes at the climax! It'll work out anyway, because that's what they wrote!

This overconfidence in their movie logic (ie the fact that Sid has to die because she's no longer a virgin) is what ultimately kills them, but it's not the only "movie thing" that does. Because when she ends them, Sid is literally dressed in their slasher costume, using the same lines they did before. She takes their movie and runs with it, but as she herself says, she doesn't like scary movies, so when Billy wakes up for one last scare she doesn't hesitate. She doesn't give a fuck about the so-called rules, or the narrative, or anything.

And that's why, in her movie, they fucking die.

[albert-tsum]

I just decided to ramble a bit about my sexuality hcs, ships etc about Wesker.

(I never thought I'd make so many text posts)

These are not going to be extremely precise analyses and will be influenced by my personal wishes and hopes. If I've written something that goes absolutely against the canon feel free to inform me.

It may become a bit uncomfortable since I wanna address some serious topics.

And it'll be too long again.

-------------------------------------------

1. General headcanons

Personally I see him on the aroace spectrum and/or as pansexual. He's not easily romantically or sexually interested in someone. I'd even say it happens almost never. He may be able to sleep with people he isn't into (maybe to manipulate them) but rarely does so (I also don't think he slept with Excella like some do, she clearly wanted it but he was able to manipulate her without sex). To be into someone this person needs something that intrigues or excites Wesker e.g. their intelligence, willpower, physical combat skills etc. But I don't think he would care much about the gender of his partner. He probably has more experience with women (e.g. he says in the OG RE1 that "he's not used to escort men") but is also open for men. As far I am aware his VAs Richard Waugh (a) and DC Douglas (b) said that he's not gender specific (a) and probably wouldn't limit himself (b) to one gender.

Either way I see him as queer.

2. My ships

As you see in my reblogs I ship him and William Birkin. He was Weskers only real friend whom he admired and trusted. That's a really big thing for Wesker so I like the hc that there was more than friendship between them and I would love to see them interacting more and learn more about their shared past.

The only other ship I like with Wesker is himxChris Redfield even tho it's kinda problematic. I like the STARS version of them where Chris looked up to Wesker who was fond and proud of him (but probably doesn't want to have feelings like this since he knows he will betray them at one point). I also kinda like the hc that Wesker maybe wanted Chris (and perhaps Jill) to join him if they hadn't make fun of his tyrant. Since I kinda like enemies to lovers and complex relationships like that I also enjoy post RE1 Chrisker. I'd love if it's not sheer hate between them but more like a mix of disappointed expectations, obsession and that they need eachother and the secret wish to have eachother on their side.

I am not the biggest fan of huge age gaps so Chris and Wesker having a difference of 15 years is something I am not too happy about. So early 20s is the lowest age I'd accept (like Jake's mother was).

3. My hopes and wishes

As I said I don't like huge age gaps so I dislike the ships WeskerxRebecca and WeskerxClaire. Rebecca was 18 und Claire 19 when they met Wesker and they are way too young for him. Because of that I really hope that Wesker isn't attracted to Rebecca. That would be a no-go even tho it's fictional and it'd destroy Wesker as a character for me. So I really hope Capcom won't make him someone who absolutely does not care about age to the extent where it's becoming creepy.

(that isn't meant to offend those who like these ships, it's just my personal opinion)

CW: r@pe

I also came across people claiming that he may be a r@pist (for e.g. controlling Jill in RE5). That's another case of yeah he is absolutely evil but that does not mean that he has every evil trait or crime committed. I am pretty sure he didn't do anything sexual to Jill (who had the control device on their chest not because Wesker is a pervert but because the devs wanted more fanservice). I don't think Capcom would make a important character like Wesker (who you can also play as) a r@pist (unlike Irons who was a really hateable side character who was hated even by Wesker)

Thx for reading 😅

[choking-on-ice]

South Park College Headcanons

I lost power for most to the day today, so I sat at a coffee shop and just killed time writing down headcanons for every SP character I could think of.

there's alot of them, but hopefully somebody out there finds these fun

Butters

Gender fluid / non-conforming

Saved up enough to move into dorms away from their parents

Autistic and very gullible still

has learned to stand up for themself and their friends better

Got fed up in senior year and spiked Cartman's drink w/ laxatives and locked him outside at a house party

Ppl secretly fear them a lil after that

Kept their baby face and a bit of chub

Still plays for Stan's death metal band

has a strange relationship w/ Kyle (who's grappling w/ some denied queerness)

still an absolute sweetheart

drinks at parties and smokes w/ friends, even tho everyone assumes they dont

their parents still totally suck

Kenny

revolving door of jobs cuz he gets bored easily, but is always selling weed on the side

Ran into more drug problems through highschool after his troubles cheesing

Went to rehab with Tweek and Stan, got clean, and is closer to them than ever before now

Butters stood by him at the peak of his addiction and now he would (and probably has) jump in front of a bullet for him

Joined the robotics club in HS

Pursuing an engineering degree w/ an academic scholarship

Still works as Mysterion, just w/out the undies over his pants

thinks it's funny to cockblock his friends

is kind of a player, but not a dick abt it

flirts alot, thinks it's fun to flirt w/ Tweek and Butters bc they never grew immune to his BS like the others

the idea of one of them reciprocating any flirting is terrifying to him tho

cuz he has a massive inferiority complex and lives in denial that he has real romantic feelings for anyone

ultimate rizz

Stan

Still fronts his death metal band

hopeless romentic

Bonded w/ Tweek over their crappy home lives when Tweek starts delivering to Tegridy Farm

Grew closer w/ Kenny when he found out he was in the same rehab program as him and Tweek

stronk farmboy, also p tanned which juxtaposes his alt style

Opens up to smoking weed in college now that he's sober

emotionally intelligent

NOT emotionally communicative / available tho

bottles stuff up

only knows how to vent when drunk, then later thru music

Kyle

jaded w/ a chip on his shoulder

prone to knee jerk reactions

throws hands at the drop of a hat

usually throws the first punch

kept playing sports after hs - football in college and basketball recreationally

did debate w/ wendy in HS

still bffs with stan, even tho they dont have many shared hobbies anymore

Craig

autistic

rizzless

doesn't rlly need game tho cuz he's only had eyes for Tweek, and Tweek's a mess

monotone + flat expression intimidates some people

has rep of being an asshole, it's only half true

is considered rebellious, but he just sees it as doing what he wants to do not what other ppl want him to

slow to anger, has never thrown the first punch

grew up to be tall and broad like his father at his age

his dad pushed him into playing football, after HS he only plays bc his friends are on the team and doesn't care much about winning

likes old school indie music, underground shows, and obscure bands, isn't pretentious about it tho

when Kenny tells him about the Tweek's drugging Tweek (and the rest of town) he loses it and has to get talked down from strangling Mr Tweek

Tweek

autistic + adhd

loves deathmetal, hardstyle EDM, death rap, and hardcore music in gen

bonds w/ Stan in late HS as he makes deliveries for the coffee shop up to the farm

Kenny and him are acquainted since Kenny delivers ingerdients to the shop

loves fantasy - LoTR, D&D, etc.

Trans FtM (cuz i am and i project onto my faves lol)

Finds out from Craig and Kenny that his parents have been drugging him w/ meth in the coffee since he was a child

spirals after this and has trouble trusting people, questioning everything and everyone in his life

becomes rlly close w/ Kenny and Stan when they all attend rehab together

moves out before HS even ends, couch surfing for the summer until he can move into the dorms

sobering up lets him gain some weight and he begins to look less sickly

I have more on the other characters, but I have arthritis and typing this much killed my fingers already. Hope u enjoyed if u got this far

[electricbathsalt]

HELLO HI YOU MENTIONED CHISAKI HAVING A COMPLEX RELATIONSHIP WITH HUMANITY AND I AM HERE TO HAPPY RANT ABOUT IT

it's like 2:30am and i should have gone to bed a while ago so this is gonna be a lil incoherent probably but anyways. yes. 100% yes i love that. i have so many ideas bouncing around my head about chisaki not being human, or like getting some secondary quirk in a secondary quirk wave that *makes* him (in his eyes) less than/not quite human, and also i sometimes use it/its pronouns for him because Reasons (i am projecting my own use of it/its onto him), and I also headcanon him as a) FtMtX (third gender/maverique), b) aroallo and gay and romance-repulsed, and c) autistic + low emotional empathy, and all of those things would 100% play into having a complicated and not-entirely-positive relationship with humanity in general (and his own humanity!) ESPECIALLY given that he spent formative years in the yakuza, which is bound to be a wildly conservative organization and an environment EXTREMELY hostile to several of those core immutable traits. ykno?

anyways you mentioned him having a complex relationship to other people/humans and humanity in general like he doesn't consider himself one so that's what prompted this. also please rant back i want to hear e v e r y t h i n g

Oh my god oh my god YES!! Okay I actually just woke up (yes my sleep schedule is fucked rn) so this is most definitely not gonna be coherent either buuut bro that is SO SIMILAR TO EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKINGGG

Okay this is by far the most difficult topic for me to try to articulate/explain bc I don’t really know how to, but I will try my damndest!! Yes. I think Chisaki has a very, very complicated relationship with both his own humanity and humanity as whole, in the way that he like. Does not view himself as human, and does not think of humans as the same as him, because they are on, like, separate playing fields. It’s not that he necessarily thinks of everyone else as worthless, or that he’s above them inherently (unequal)—he believes himself to be in a sort of limbo. He is neither worthless nor worthy. He is not human, therefore he cannot adhere to the same principles and standards of humanity. He is not human, and that is why he is never treated like one.

I think he subconsciously detached himself from it. He hated how the one person he (subconsciously) thought would one day view him as human and accept him, called him a monster and outcast him, like everyone else. The one person who showed him kindness with no catch (in his mind, because… yikes). That’s when he fully accepted that he’ll never be seen as human, that he is not human, and will never be treated like something with value/emotion, like something mortal and thinking and multi-dimensional, which is why he finally decided to just take matters into his own hands, with no regard to anything else. Why follow the morals of humans if he is not one? You don’t expect a wild animal not to maul you. Because for an animal, it is necessary. There’s no malice. They hunt and kill you because they need to eat and feed and protect. Is that not him? Is he not doing all this out of necessity? To keep himself and his family alive?

(Although, he doesn’t perceive himself as an animal. Just as not human). He believes he can’t be human. He believes he can no longer allow himself to be human anyway, because being human is too large an obstacle to his goals. He has to be a monster.

And kinda on the side of how he perceives other humans—it’s like, he’s more vital than them to the plan (which is the most important thing in the world), so he is above them in the way they are pawns whereas the plan cannot happen without him and Eri. But it’s dependent on his quirk, bc without his quirk, he is no longer Overhaul, who is the one who is vital to the plan; he is just Chisaki Kai. Chisaki Kai was not vital to anything and was just some not-really-human with a debt to pay off. Chisaki Kai is not worthwhile. Chisaki Kai is below other, real humans. So it’s split—Overhaul is above everyone else (in importance, in the fact he is not human. He is a monster). Chisaki Kai is below everyone else (he is indebted and clinging to the dregs of humanity he wants to have). The common ground is that both Overhaul and Chisaki Kai are inhuman accessories to the Shie Hassaikai. The Shie Hassaikai is more important than them.

He does not yearn to be human, he yearns for the casual acceptance and belonging that comes alongside being human. Humans have never treated him like how they treat other humans. He is not human.

Uggfhhhh I can’t tell if I’m explaining this exactly how I mean it. My vocabulary is just lacking I fear 😭 I have trouble streamlining my thoughts a lot. I feel like I have more to say but no way to properly express it, I guess. Also all your headcanons are extremely real and definitely add onto this/play a part in it!! I cannot imagine that the Yakuza would be all that accepting/an at all safe environment (ah. Well. That’s not true bc I have lol. I don’t like making sad stories 💀 but in canon… definitely not. Especially with Pops’ apparent falling-out with his daughter over her marriage 😒).

I don’t know if this all is what you had in mind or not but I think it has at least some semblance to what I think some of his mindsets are. My brain is a lil fried though. Also please please please elaborate. On everything. I wanna hear all your takes

[snowflake-sage]

Something to help understand/interpret my art, also lore dump (if you care):

Mae and Sage both are my sonas, Mae is my MAIN sona, she’s literally ME, and Sage represents an ASPECT of me.

Mae uses She/her pronouns and Sage uses He/him, they are both non-binary characters that represent different aspects of my gender experience. Mae represents the more physical gender experiences Ive had, and Sage represents more so what my gender is. (This is sort of hard to explain, Mae represents the experiences I’ve had in relation to my physical body that I was born with, and the experiences I’ve had in society and how society has interpreted me and my gender. She’s still accurate to my gender, but her design is more surface level and obvious. Sage on the other had, represents my gender experience at its CORE, and how I actually feel as an individual, despite my body. I feel like I am simply experiencing a feminine experience in some ways because of my body and how society sees me, but I don’t feel like who I am at my core can be put into any box, hence me being non-binary. I feel very much like I’m sort of playing a game and this is just the avatar I have, and that who I am is neither male nor female. I just happen to have more experiences in one regard because of how I was born. Sage is the aspect that cannot be boxed. He is both masculine and feminine, and also neither male or female. He’s just SAGE.) (this is also extremely personal to MY OWN gender experience so if you don’t relate to this don’t think to hard about it, this is literally how I interpret my own identity, it probably doesn’t make any sense to anyone else)

Back to Mae representing my more physical life experience, she carries a lot of my trauma and bad experiences. She represents every part of me that has ever been hurt.

Sage represents a part of me that is less in the earthly experience. If you know what a “higher self” is, that’s basically what Sage is in relation to Mae. He is an aspect of me, and therefore an aspect of Mae, they’re part of the same character. He acts as a sort of “guardian angel” who loves Mae more than anything and he would literally go any length for her. Representative of the innate love that I feel like everyone has for themself until society fucks us over and makes us hate ourselves.

Sage and Mae are NOT romantic towards each other (any art drawn of that is non-canon, sometimes I’m bored) , they are more like a queer-platonic relationship. I wouldn’t say they’re “just friends” because their lore and story and relationship is pretty complex and doesn’t fit that box for me.

Sage is an angel in canon, that takes a physical form which is the form I always draw, I’m working on drawing his true form for lore but I’m still designing it.

Sage is an angel of healing, which is why he’s so tender and gentle towards Mae and in general such a honey.

Sage is an angel of healing, and represents the higher self, but he also represents the shadow self (if you don’t know what that is, google is your friend). He carries the pain and trauma from Mae indirectly. This is why he has a darker color palette, since he represents Mae’s shadow (I actually am contemplating a few other alternate palettes for him , a crème color palette as well a blue one, as I work through the lore I’ll decide when those apply). He is NOT a dark angel or an evil angel. His character is multifaceted and complex, and his color palette just represents what I just explained. There are evil angels in my oc lore universe but their color palette doesn’t represent that bc I think that concept is overused, also I like being ironic. Sage having a darker palette is again, linked to his relation to Mae and the trauma he carries from her.

Even though Sage is small and sweet looking he is literally insanely powerful, like CRAZY strong

Sage being the shadow self, and also being so close and loving to Mae represents that our shadow self is not a part of us that is bad and needs to be pushed away, but actually a part of us that is just hurt and desperately needs love and healing.

I draw a lot of art of Mae and Sage embracing, either lovingly or during times of turmoil. I draw a lot of art of Mae being physically or mentally hurt and being comforted or embraced by Sage, Sage having different reactions situationally. A lot of the time, Mae is representing the physical effects of trauma, and Sage is the inner self mourning/crying/ suffering the trauma. Sort of like how you feel terrible for your child self for being mistreated, or how you feel bad for yourself because of the experiences you’ve had. It’s like a depiction of self pity, but also in a way, self love. It’s like holding yourself and crying for how the world has hurt you, and wishing better for yourself.

It’s symbolism✋

[p0th]

ik im probably rlly late to the party but what is objectum, like is it a role play thing, is it a coping thing? I need someone to explain it to me like im 5 bc i genuinely just don't understand what it is lol

So the literal definition of being objectum is someone who's attracted to inanimate objects, whether that be platonic, romantic, sexual, or somethin else. However, looking at it with only its literal definition doesn't really account for the intricacies that such a label brings.

I just want to point out that while some people see objects as alive (the label for that being POSIC), others dont. Animism is also a similar term for where people percieve inanimate things as having souls. Personally, I dont see my object as alive, but do sometimes use gendered terms to describe them and feel comforted by their presence. People can also be objectum and be attracted to actual people too.

Being objectum is also more common in autistic people. Object personafication is a common trait seen in autism and other disorders and i can see how that can lead people to being objectum. Though I have never been formally diagnosed with anything, i am probably neurodivergent & maybe that has a part in me identifying as objectum idk!! Theres a study on autism in objectum ppl here if u want to glance over it: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-56449-0

For me, I started using the objectum label coincidentally around the time I started finally figuring out that i was aroace and not attracted to real people. I realized that the love I feel for my friends is equivalent to the love I feel for my hobbies and interests which was also the same love i felt towards certain objects. I drew this out cuz i think its a lil confusing how im saying it LOL. Theres also a thing called "conceptum" which is the attraction to concepts which I think i actually fall more into, but I just go by objectum because it is more general.

You know how people will swear they have this great relationship with nature? How they feel so so connected to plants and how they love watching the ocean and how they wish they could live outside forever because the forest is a part of their flesh and blood? How they feel more alive feeling the earths fresh air and how nature teaches them things they never even knew about themselves? okay, so, why is this normal to say but once u turn it around into something that’s an object it is insane talk!! I feel like there's this interesting dynamic where its okay to be super attached to nature but kinda weird to be super attached to inanimate things but i think i am rambling & getting off topic!!!

Personally, I dont really have objects that im attracted to in the same way I would be attracted to a human. It is very broad for me. Others though, have certain objects that they really like and thats fine. For me, going by that label just makes me comfortable even if i dont fit into the literal definition. I like computers in general, not just my own personal computer. Objectum for me is just another way to say that my love for inanimate things can be just as great as my love for animate things. Theres just so much complexity and nuance in it that it is hard to describe unless you've experienced it yourself.

As for it being a coping thing, I've heard some people say its a result of not being able to trust people due to past trauma, but i dont believe that's necessarily true for the majority of people and not too good to generalize. Ive grown up surronded by friends and in a loving environment and am able to maintain relationships with living people, but also use the label of objectum because it makes me comfortable.

I can very much see how someone can look at someone saying theyre attracted to objects and just cringe a little bit and thats okay LOL. At this point, I have been exposed to so many concepts -being online so much and surrounded by so many diverse people- that i just dont even pay it mind. But, I know a lot of people have literally never heard of this label before and are just weirded out by it. I think honestly people need to think about the limitless potential a relationship can be when in the hands of such a complex being as a human. At the end of the day though, it doesn't hurt anyone but its also okay to be a lil unsure of it as an outsider. Just be kind to others!!

Im sorry if this is a bit of word vomit, if u cant tell i got a lil too into it & my thoughts tend to be rlly scattered LOL. thank u 4 the ask & plz let me know if u need any clarity on anythin cuz i know i am very hard to follow at times !!!

[falciesystemessays]

As a game designer, I will say something you probably don't expect from me:

Online personality quizzes are video games.

They are interactive digital media for the purpose of entertainment. There is no reason not to consider them in conversations about game design unless you think of them as simply a lesser medium. I'm going to be talking about them here through the lens of game design, because it's honestly fascinated me for a long time. If you want to check out my track record, check out this quiz I made in high school as a supplemental for a tabletop game, and this quiz that essentially functions as a Gender Dysphoria Diagnosis. Now then!

What is the core appeal of a personality quiz? Well, it's pretty straightforward, to discover something about yourself. It's kind of an inverse of the character creator, instead of self-expression the aim is to find something that you can't express. But even so, answering the questions themselves are a form of self-expression. I feel like expression and self-discovery are often left out of conversations about design, because they're a lot more personal and difficult to quantify than something like challenge. But they are often vital to making a play experience work. It's really important when you play that you feel like your style of play is your own.

To get philosophical for a second, the nature of a personality quiz will necessitate two core assumptions: 1) that there are distinct types of people that can be neatly categorized, and 2) that answering questions in an online quiz is an adequate way to determine someone's type. This is not uncommon, it is the basis for psychological diagnoses after all, but inevitably it leaves gaps in capturing the full human experience. In quizzes this usually manifests in two ways: Either the answer doesn't capture your experience, or the questions don't.

This is a really noticeable thing on uQuiz, and anybody who's been on that site knows the common pitfalls: Asking you to pick song lyrics from an artist you don't listen to, asking you to pick aesthetics when none of them really resonate, or lacking the appropriate nuance when talking about complex issues. At that moment, the game breaks down. It stops being about expressing the self, and becomes about what kinds of people the quiz's creator can imagine.

There is a certain narrative component to all this. A quiz tells a story, even if a small one. It can tell you something about yourself, but it will also inevitably say something about the person who created it. And that doesn't have to be a bad thing. If you ask the right questions, and ask them the right way, you can guide your audience towards realizing things just by how they how they answer. You can, with effort and care, make a solid piece of art out of an online quiz. But not everybody is looking to do that.

Look, I've skirted around it for a long enough time. We all know uQuiz is mostly populated by people in high school or younger than that, and most of them will never read this post. This is functionally a site for amateur game developers to make something quick and easy, but they're not using the same gamic language as itch.io or Newgrounds or Scratch. And that's fine, like i'm not saying it's bad that young girls and queers have a space to be creative and have fun. But it does mean that, as someone who is Not a teenager and who works in engines like SRPG Studio, i am not exactly built to thrive in this climate.

The quizzes that get the most popular tend to be the most immediately clickable, stuff about fandom or relationships or whatever meme phrase is popular that day. Anybody who makes art for the internet knows the importance of clickability, of being immediately eye-catching with a promising pitch. And what a lot of these titles end up emphasizing is the quiz creator themself. There is an undeniable social component to making or taking a quiz. Because the quiz maker can see all of your responses, there is an extent to which both the creator and the taker are getting to know each other. This is, honestly, the secret sauce that I only realized as I was writing this. There is a real community and sense of fellowship with modern online quizzes.

So what do we make of all of this? Well, using the MDA framework, we can see that some of the core play aesthetics for an online quiz are Expression, Discovery, Narrative, and Fellowship. If I were to give some advice for people making quizzes, it would be to lean into these more. Give players more options for expression, ask more meaningful questions, give more insightful results, and make it your own in a way that's hopefully endearing and not irritating. Other avenues for quiz-making might be ones that lean more into fiction, asking players to roleplay as a character, rather than answering as themselves. It might be using the format to give specific goals, like asking players to find the way to a specific result. It might involve playing with agency, giving players intentionally few or too many options to comment on the nature of the question. But honestly? Just have fun! I take it on myself to think too hard about this stuff, because it helps me grow as a designer. I think it's really fascinating to see how game design crops up in places that aren't normally considered "games." But honestly, if this post caused the vibe of uQuiz or Quotev or whatever site to change, I'd be horrified. Honestly just, game design is really cool. That's the takeaway.

[olderthannetfic]

You might get a kick out of this article someone linked me to, to try and argue that BL is in fact fetishizing (because Yada Yada women consume it and produce it and all that)

https://www.youthoutright.org/articles/fetishization-of-the-queer-community

Article is a fairly short read. But I have to chuckle at it as "evidence" since it makes a fair amount of claims with 0 sources:

That young teenage women make up a majority of fandom (and that's whose consuming/producing BL)

Straight, white women get paid more to write gay romance novels (and that these novels often feature Adonis like males with 0% body fat and no body hair; play into gender/hetero norms)

Etc.

Honestly the....article, if I can even call it that, isn't cohesive. I do find myself agreeing with its first two paragraphs...and surprisingly only the first two. However, this article spends a lot of its time focusing on fetishization of Trans bodies and chasers who go after transfolks bodies (which I'm not too familiar with this so if anyone wants to speak up on this point...)

I'm very confused by how someone could read this and think "this proves my point!"

--

Sigh.

I don't even agree with the beginning. Trashy "girl-on-girl" isn't what's making men think women exist to serve them. Society is doing that. Porn is a reflection, not a cause.

Not to mention the fact that f/f-for-dudes is astronomically common compared to shitheads pestering lesbians in bars. The latter are too common because the correct amount is 0, but just based on the numbers, a lot of dudes are capable of consuming this porn without being confused about what's fiction and what's reality.

The mass quantities of f/f-for-dudes do make it hard to find f/f-for-ladies, but this article has taken the wrong message from that. The correct takeaway is that we need better labeling and search features that are driven by the nerdy desire to categorize and not by algorithms that want to sell you stuff.

As long as het romance novels or porno movies for straight guys or bestselling thrillers or whatever are popular, they're going to drown out the algorithmic results for more niche things one is interested in.

Libraries and AO3 don't have this problem. Amazon and Youtube do.

the world of “slash fiction” (fanfiction portraying a romantic and often sexual relationship between characters from a given source) began centering gay men

Wow, article writer. So you know nothing then.

it’s been claimed that straight, white women are paid more than gay men by publishers to write gay romances

I'm honestly embarrassed for this article writer. First, most of this burgeoning field is selfpub anyway. Second, many established writers in the romance field are women, and established names will probably have a shot at better pay than new people.

Third, anyone who injects "white" like this is a moron and a wanker. If we're talking about racism in the Romance field (and boy howdy is there a lot), white gay men are no better, and men's race is just as relevant as women's. Either we're talking about race or we're not.

As it stands, this author just comes across as a misogynist piece of shit.

The overwhelming majority of these romances portray relationships between white, cis, abled men with no fat or body hair.

I have bad news for them about cis gay men's media. (Well, okay, some of that has a lot of body hair and interminable descriptions of the smell of ball sweat and stinky armpits, but still...)

Men who fit the first archetype will take the position of “top” in the numerous, inaccurate, graphic-as-possible sex scenes that are central to these stories and also appear to be central to many readers’ enjoyment.

I see we're in the usual "I, a sex-repulsed person, speak for all of humanity" mode.

People like horny art. News at 11.

These are complex issues deeply rooted in society. It’s difficult to envision mitigations and solutions. However, somewhere to begin would certainly be promoting more positive, intersectional, realistic representations of queer people and queer relationships. A vital action that can further this goal is choosing to consume media with queer representation that was created by queer people whenever possible.

Honestly, my response to this ending is:

Fuck off, you entitled git.

This uninformed little whiner is equating all kinds of unequal things. Chasers are all over the place, but they aren't the ones writing fanfic or any other amateur, personal writing. We have no right to other people's hobby time. Sure, we can vote with our feet, and we should, but this article doesn't really sound like it's advocating that: it sounds like it's crying that other people have different taste from the writer. Boo, hoo, hoo, someone I don't like got attention.

It's the usual ignorant trash.

Embarrassing.