#i thought about also making her a dancer bc I also have a ton of dance costumes but like. that’s too many activities lol

[vieramars]

Making this its own post bc it wasn't getting seen as a reblog

Re: a very niche oddly specific fluffy TMA au

So I'm in a swing dance club and I started thinking about what if the characters of the magnus archives were all in a swing dance club. Absolutely no regard for canon, just all the characters hanging out having a time.

Half the characters do not know how to dance. Some are really good at it. Elias is the club leader who thought having a position of authority would be fun but now he's stuck managing a room full of chaos gremlins with fear powers.

Half the playlist is mechs songs. Nikola insists on doing live music every few meets.

Jon watches tons of videos on swing moves in order to learn them and is constantly watching his feet to make sure he's doing the steps right. He's a follow and almost exclusively dances with Martin. Even though he helped form the club he perpetually has new awkward member energy. Still, once he's had plenty of time to practice a move, he can do it perfectly nine times out of ten.

Martin is a much more confident dancer than someone who'd just met him would think. He's a lead and his musicality is on point. He's really good at songs with tempo changes, and his favorite move is probably swing kicks.

Tim and Sasha are terrifying on the dance floor. Sasha's the lead and every dance she's trying to beat her own record for how many times she can spin Tim consecutively. They prefer open position and every other move is a basket turn. 

Michael showed up one day and just became part of the club by being there, then later invited Helen along. Both of them like to dance with pretty much everyone, and both of them love sliding doors. Sometimes involving actual distortion doors. Their dance moves are reality bending and they always have the flashiest outfits. Michael is ambidancetrous (comfortable leading or following) and Helen is a lead.

Agnes wears very thick gloves so that she can dance with people without burning their hands. To avoid accidents she's also very good at no-contact moves. Sometimes she brings Jack over for club meetings. She's a lead and her favorite move is sugar pushes though she also likes line dances and does the best charleston out of the whole group.

Daisy and Basira are inseparable. But they are both leads. Rather than dancing with other people they just solo jazz and line dance together.

No matter who she's dancing with or what moves they're doing Nikola is killing it. Her favorite dances are steal dances where everyone's rapidly switching partners. She's always the fastest to find a new partner and get back into step. She does everything with a flourish and is an expert at dips of any kind.

Melanie and Georgie are just vibing. Probably the calmest dancers in the room despite being far from the calmest people. Georgie can dance the entire length of the meeting without taking a break.

Gerry mostly only dances with Michael, Mike, or Tim because they can match his energy the best. He loves fast-paced songs and complicated moves, and can absolutely fuck it UP at the shim sham.

Mike Crew also really likes fast-paced dances and loves spinning his partner until they might as well be in the vast for how dizzy they are. Dancing with him comes with a spin at your own risk disclaimer.

Oliver is more of a slow song enjoyer, and he joins Jon and Nikola in the live music performances. While Agnes is the best at many variations of the charleston, Oliver is the best at the cowboy charleston specifically, and he can do it while playing a fiddle.

Peter Lukas REFUSES to dance except for rarely when Elias convinces him to, in which case they have a vibe that's somewhere between overly formal ballroom dancing and Morticia and Gomez doing the most. 

Jane Prentiss is mostly here for the snacks and the vibes but she joins in for warm-ups and line dances. The only person she'll dance together with is Agnes cause they both prefer the least amount of physical contact possible.

Annabelle Cane is the main dance instructor and she's a phenomenal teacher. She knows all the moves by heart and she's rocking the roaring 20s aesthetic. If she's leading a line dance, everyone's in perfect sync.

If I missed anyone lmk, this is all coming directly out of my brain so some characters might've gotten lost in the stream of consciousness. I'm open to asks about dance pairs, who leads/follows in that pair, and what songs they would pick if they had the floor 👀

By the way, dance pairs do not equal ships! I do ship a few of these pairs (and it makes sense to me for couples to gravitate towards dancing together), but anyone can dance with anyone!

[onlyjaeyun]

Hoon’s older brother theories eh?

*cracks knuckles*

So Hoon was a figure skater. (How much for the other characters know about Hoon’s figure skating days? Like Do they know my beloved Snow Queen was his partner? Do they know she can skate? Anyways—) Family probably had money. Maybe not a ton of money, but enough to be comfortable. Maybe appearances are EVERYTHING to Daddy Park. He wants to be high up on the social ladder than he is. Business stuff probably. He’s just rich enough to NOT really be truly wealthy, but if he has two stand out sons. Say… one genius and one Olympic athlete?

That is bankable social currency.

Older Brother Park (Park Chadwick or some other pretentious name) is super good looking (bonus points if he appears and hits on Snowflake or if Snowflake calls him hot) but is also a prodigy. Music maybe? Or Math? Medicine? Something where he can be obnoxiously exploited at a young age by his social climbing parents.

Chad is internationally known. Currently (un)happily engaged to a pleasant but vacant daughter of Korea’s 100 Most Influential because he and his brother were both raised addicted to Daddy’s favor and even if his actual heart may or may not be with a beautiful young teacher he met while volunteering for appearance sake at a local Elementary School career fair, he is still marching to the Park family drum.

He and Hoon are cold but cordial. Sometimes passive aggressive. Occasionally outright aggressive. Hoon is tired of hearing how disappointing he is compared to Chadwick. His parents tend to spend most of their time when they talk to Hoon telling him how well Chadwick is following their 678 step plan for his life.

It’s a sore spot because Hoon looked up to his brother and loved him and he feels like he’s lost so many of the relationships from his childhood that were truly important too him.

Chad is secretly jealous of Hoon because he sees him as having broken free. Hoon maybe finds out that his older brother hot for teacher and tells him to go for it—their father’s approval isn’t worth losing real love and the chance at a real family.

Chad is a secret HardCore Hoon/Yn shipper. Does flirt with YN if he sees her but with the sole intent of pushing his brother’s buttons.

Deep down the brother’s love each other but there has definitely been damage and distance in the last decade or so and it’s mostly Papi Hoon’s fault…

But yeah I haven’t thought about it that much…

Sike I love making up random backstories and sorry about naming him Chadwick, it just popped into my head 😅

(Alternatively his brother could be Park Jimin [BTS] with all the same backstory just like an internationally renowned dancer…)

Sorry l’ll stop

AAAAH I LOVE THIS THEORY!!!!! ngl it's actually quite close to what's actually happened between the brothers BUT i dont wanna spoil anything yet since it'll have a bit to do with later plots so i gotta thank you very much for this and the good laugh i got out of this bc you called him chadwick 😭😭😭🤍 i love you sm

[bisamwilson]

15 questions, 15 friends

tagged by @roguecassians! thanks maggie :)

are you named after anyone?

i am not, but my middle name was inspired by brooklyn on general hospital (not brooklyn, but close-ish)

when was the last time you cried?

thursday night bc margaret and i rewatched two towers and sam's speech never fails to make me bawl like a baby

do you have kids?

i do not, nor do i plan to! i do have two very cute nephews tho

what sports do you play/have played?

lmao. i was a dancer as a kid/younger teen (stopped when i was 15 bc of the pre arthritis in my ankle) but other than that in high school i lettered in the great sports of academic team and orchestra lmao

do you use sarcasm?

probably too much

what is the first thing you notice about people?

this is probably gonna sound weird, but their teeth? i tend to zero in on people's smiles and their teeth bc i love the different ways that people smile! i think there's so much personality hidden in a person's smile so it's what i tend to latch onto first

what is your eye color?

blue!

scary movies or happy endings?

definitely happy endings! it's the life of a hopeless romantic who doesn't believe in love to fall for every cheesy rom com i can find

any talents?

i am very good at balancing things on my head! when i was a kid my mama made me walk up and down the stairs multiple times in heels with a bible on my head without it falling off before i was allowed to wear the little wedges i wanted to my fifth grade graduation ceremony and now i've just got a knack for balancing stuff on my head. someone once put a connect four board flat on top of it while i was sitting down and stacked all of the chips in a column on top of each other one by one on my head and i held it for like five minutes

i'm also a half decent writer when i actually write i guess

where were you born?

kentucky! bluegrass girlie

what are your hobbies?

i watch a lot of movies and go to the movie theater a ton! i haven't gone a bunch this month bc i was finishing up my oscars a thon but generally i go to the movies 3-6 times a month probably? if not more?

do you have any pets?

my beautiful rat who is not actually a rat but a 15.5 year old chihuahua who definitely served in the infantry in world war one and has zero thoughts in her head. i love her <3

how tall are you?

5'4! but i seem shorter bc my proportions are wacky

favorite subject in school?

high school? math (especially ap stats) for sure with latin as a close second. in college my favorite class was called star wars and religion and my second favorite class was and economic introduction to game theory

dream job?

a job that i enjoy and keeps me satisfied intellectually where there's a good work culture and work/life balance that allows me to like. take care of my needs and wants and be comfortable enough in life, which is what i have! i'm not want to want a specific generally unattainable career, i just like. want something to keep me fulfilled and financially stable yk?

i never actually tag the number of people i'm supposed to but no pressure tagging @firstelevens @logicheartsoul @writerkenna @apatheticjoy @livingincolorsagain and @thatmexisaurusrex

[gnomeniche]

Alright so first of all, your character playlists are top-tier and I absolutely love all your analyses of the show, they're so well thought-out and just a joy to read.

I saw that your birdman playlist had The Astronomer from Ghost Quartet (you have impeccable taste, I've gotta say) and it got me thinking about the rest of the musical as it could align with dmhis

Specifically The Camera Shop, with Rose and Pearl fitting in really well with Yellow and Lesley.

Something about a Knowing™ character speaking over soft piano music to a well meaning yet extremely confused Trapped In the Narrative™ character, the creepy storytelling and over familiarity where you can tell that they Remember previous cycles in a way the other can only barely comprehend, the way that mix of love and fear and anger morphs from Kindly and Inviting Older Lady to outright anger and yelling, the way that even though she seems all powerful she's actually just as much a victim to the narrative... Idk man it's just got all the right vibes

Also "I'm a little confused, and more than a little frightened" "It's okay my dear, this is a circular story"

And "I don't believe any of this!" "Don't you REMEMBER?"

I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on it, since (if you'd believe it) it's a bit hard to find that crossover between dmhis and Ghost Quartet fans 😂 And you've always got the best takes on this kind of stuff

i think it's a shame that it's hard to find a crossover between dhmis fans and ghost quartet fans! it is my professional opinion that all dhmis fans should experience ghost quartet (a live recording is free on youtube! and the soundtrack is on spotify!).

the tones of ghost quartet and dhmis are very different, but if you love mind-bending storytelling, deciphering a very densely layered story that works on a very thematic level, the use of memory loss and residual memories and shifting roles that characters must inhabit, and the themes of a small group of people who fundamentally love each other trapped in a vicious cycle of narrative and character flaws that complicates that, you will love ghost quartet. also the music is so good. just be ready to give it multiple listens and make sure to have the genius lyrics and the wikipedia summary open on your first try. (there's also a ton of literature references in ghost quartet but i don't think you necessarily Need to know them. i just like them bc i'm a literature nerd.)

okay now that the shilling is over: i have thought of songs from ghost quartet in a dhmis character context! i haven't thought of The Camera Shop yet, but you're so right that it works well for yellow and lesley. the vibes are the same.

(more under the cut bc wow this got long)

i do have The Astronomer on the duck playlist bc of the contradictory feelings of curiosity but sheer incuriousness due to fear of the unknown + self-importance and self-hatred because you know you wouldn't dare to be all you wish to be, and i think Starchild might also work for him because of that need for importance and control in an uncaring world?

Tango Dancer gives me Some Kind Of Feelings about red (something about "but myself didn't have time for me / didn't have time for anyone so used up"). also something something The Telescope fluffybird ("i love the way you see the world / i love the way your soul sings / i wish that i could sing like you / i wish that i could feel things").

the very tired and regretful vibes of all the pearl characters are very auhghgh. something about remembering that you've lived through a cycle when nobody else does or when the other one who could cannot see past her own fury when she does remember. hits that spot for all the dhmis characters whenever they get those bits and pieces back.

on a lighter side i love the "actor" songs for them too. Any Kind Of Dead Person as a silly but slightly sinister duck song is super fun. i freely admit that i have done amvs in my head for Four Friends many times. lesley is brent's verse, red is brittain's verse, yellow is dave's verse, and duck is gelsey's verse. the gang just chills and drinks bc lesley is feeling sentimental and tired today.

[captainadwen]

my investment in genshin this time around has been much much shorter lived than expected

this is just a sleep-deprived 5 am rant bc i cannot sleep

i mean, part of it might be spoilers but also the lack of building up to plot that I missed (since my friend played some of the story while using my account as an alt). the issue is that i dont care enough about inazuma’s plot to look it up and see what happened. like ive met ei. i did her second quest. i know enough about raiden shogun to guess. i dont give a single fuck about kujo sara so watching her short-lived fallout from ideology is frankly unappealing. kokomi i liked only bc of a fancomic and the in-game version is much more disappointing. i still forget gorou exists. doing kazuha’s quest is frankly wasting the time i spend alive. i think there’s other characters in inazuma but i keep forgetting who they are so it’s like, whatever

why are itto and shinobu the only two characters from inazuma i actually like???

it is just impossible for me to be invested in inazuma story, and the same issue is happening in sumeru. sumeru the problem is a mix of spoilers but also that i am SO DONE with the traveler having three personality traits

1. i single-handedly saved countries. pay my allies no mind. isn’t it great i owned the jade chamber and that the anemo god is still awol and whatever the fuck went down in inazuma?

2. busybody

3. omg, sUCH a HERo

i really hate it!!!

every time i think im getting invested the focus shifts from characters and their interactions (i thought!!! little sick rich lady and body guard pyro lady and dancer hydro lady had a nice thing going on!!!) back to the traveler and their bullshit quest to go see the dendro archon (for what???? honestly if the writers REALLY cared about the story the motivation would stop being flimsy-ass lets travel teyvat uhuhuh and more ‘that dainsleif fellow is my closest link to finding my awol sibling and if i cannot find my sibling or the god that yeeted us here then by GOLLY i will track dainsleif and other khaen’riah survivors/relics across teyvat until i find one of them again)

(which like!!! could work really well for inazuma and sumeru bc 1. vision stopping might be sus enough for traveler to suspect abyss involvement. but also they got hit really bad by the cataclysm and 2. i havent done the quest yet but there’s a huge-ass ruin guard??? just lying around??? also the irminsul tree links whatnot)

MY POINT IS

i really hate that there’s no motivation to travel around and i hate the boastful traveler and i hate paimon’s screechy voice (i went back to see clips of mond and her voice is SO MUCH LESS SCREECHY) and i really, really fucking despise the grinding

why does every new character need a specific artifact. why do we have to grind so much. if i want to use any of my cast of characters i have to grind the fuck out of them first or they die in three seconds or do nothing. heaven forbid your character scale off anything but attack or hp with how rare things like energy recharge are. like

i thought it was just that i disliked fighting games. im kinda bad at them. and i dont like genshin fighting. i keep wanting to play a ton of rpgs (assasin’s creed, mass effect), but i get tired thinking about fighting. but then i realized, im like 40+ runs in on hades and still going strong. and that game is pure combat.

i just hate games where the combat feels meaningless

at least in hades i know each run brings me slowly closer to escaping the underworld. in genshin after grinding for a full hour (a bit longer than a long slow run in hades) i’ll be lucky if i got anything of use. maybe if you just fight bosses for ascension materials. otherwise get fucked

it just exhausts me and not even puzzles or exploration can make me not feel tired at the idea of playing (And god, i hate the aranara quest run around collecting seeds things.... it could be worse but it could also just be lile. a puzzle instead of dash dash dash con)

anyway i think imma take another break, probably shorter since genshin is what i play when i am bored simply bc its there and easy and i can quit after 5 mins with zero progress lost. a realization brough to you by the realization i was only logging in to get primos for nahida, who i have not met and whom spoilers did not endear me to (also she’s a kid character and except for klee i universally am extremely indifferent to them), whom i was told is “ultra good” for fighting and spiral. and who i’d still have to build up. on the off chance i win 50/50

yeah, no

[thefactsofthematter]

more dance studio au details under the cut bc i woke up too early this morning and wrote bc i couldn’t fall asleep again, and have now organized those half-asleep thoughts

- they’re all on the teaching team at a big commercial dance studio, which has tons of drop in classes but also a competitive team!

- jack teaches hip hop — the boy can GROOVE, and he’s known for sharp, hard-hitting choreo and the funnest class you’ll ever take. this is the vibe. as a teenager, he was a proper b-boy, but after a wrist injury he had to give up breaking and shift his focus to commercial hip hop. he can still dance like crazy but doesn’t perform much anymore, so it’s a treat when you get to watch him demonstrate in class (or even better, when you show up to someone else’s class and he’s dancing along in the back row).

- davey teaches ballet. of course he does. he’s a little intimidating at first, because his classes are pretty intense and serious, but he’s actually a total sweetheart who just wants to help you improve and learn. he was in a professional company for a few years, but ultimately didn’t enjoy the atmosphere and realized he much prefers teaching. his classes range from baby ballet, to adult recreational, to coaching the studio’s top teen dancers for major competitions. everyone knows his classes are hard as fuck, but so worth it because you always gain something from them

- race is the head coach for the most advanced comp teams, and he’s a definite jack of all trades. his signature is very difficult and intense jazz groups (very molly long style choreography) but he knows how to play to every individual dancer’s strengths when working on solos— he’ll give them anything from contemporary to tap to acro and everything in between, because he has a very well-rounded skill set from when he was a (very successful) competitive dancer himself. he still actively dances, but coaching his team of elite little prodigies is his number one focus.

- spot is race’s boyfriend who doesn’t have any dance experience but has totally immersed himself in the community at the studio. he drops into open classes sometimes just to try it (usually when jack is teaching) but mostly is just a steady presence as he pops in to drop off coffee and whatnot for race every so often. the kids all think he’s incredibly cool, and he’s not exactly sure what to do with the fact that he has a little fan club made up primarily of 8-12 year old girls, but he honestly can’t complain.

- kath teaches theatrical jazz, heels, ballroom/latin, and all that kind of stuff! she looooves some good sexy choreo and especially loves when people who wouldn’t usually move like that step out of their comfort zones to try it— most of her classes are adult recreational drop-ins for that reason. she’s all about building confidence and just has the BEST vibes

- medda is the company director and crutchie is her admin assistant (he danced growing up but his MS started getting worse as he got older so he’s officially retired now, he sometimes substitute teaches different classes). these two make the whole operation run, and it’s no easy task! there’s a solid week at the end of every summer where it’s dangerous territory to even talk to crutchie, because he’s so stressed about building the class schedule for the upcoming season that he could snap at any moment. he can normally be found at the front desk with a smile on his face, though! medda is usually either in her office or in one of the studios, teaching technique classes to the competition teams or just observing while the other teachers work— she started coaching race when he was a toddler so she thinks it’s fun to watch him and see how he’s grown <3

- anyways!! that’s a nice little dump of all the thoughts on my mind at the moment,, i have some plot ideas ready so i may or may not end up writing something! we shall see, folks.

[courtney-deserved-better]

my opinion on td finalists

spoiler alert, im not a fan of most

TDI: Owen & Gwen

uh I personally don’t like either of these guys for finalists. gwen did do a lot but there were so many times where she just acted so apathetic I was like why?? are you still here?? and as for owen... I didnt like him as a character for a Long Time and he's growing on me but he just doesnt seem like finale material

I think a duncan versus leshawna finale would've been super fun to watch. especially if they teamed up to take down heather in the semifinal. those two had such a fun dynamic, especially in the triathlon episode, that I think taking it to the finale would've been fantastic. also leshawna deserved to win that season and you cannot change my mind

TDA: Duncan & Beth

duncan, while not my first choice, I can see making it through to the finale this season. but beth?? no. im sorry but shes just too much of a side character and is canonically fake nice and annoys everyone else so it doesn’t really make sense

an interesting finale would’ve been duncan versus courtney considering how volatile their relationship was this season. however, bc courtney was kinda awful to duncan, I dont think she deserves to win this season. it would be cool if there was one ending where their votes tied and they made up and decided to split the money but that just feels too tame, both for a finale and for their dynamic

harold versus duncan could be interesting, but because duncan tends to bully harold, I dont think his win would be fair in this situation. I think lindsay versus harold would be the best, as this season is about lindsay learning to take charge and come up with strategies, and while he can be off-putting and occasionally condescending, I think harold has a lot of useful skills that could really flourish in the finale

TDWT: Heather & Alejandro

while I dont ship them at all, I truly dont think there could've been a more satisfying final two. we’ve had their rivalry build up from day one, they have a ton of good songs together, it really completes heather’s arc of antagonist to antihero to protagonist. heather winning is the best ending in my mind, but I like  alejandro winning too. the only problem I have with his ending is that it only happened because heather threw in the wrong dummy-- I think it would’ve been more clever for him to have switched them or something like that

ive been thinking about some other final twos that I think would be interesting, though unable to top the canon one imo. gwen versus courtney would be really cool because of the friends turned enemies thing-- I think it would be interesting for courtney to be put in danger and gwen has a choice of saving her or going for the money and she save courtney before apologizing again (maybe dumping duncan) and the two make up and split the money. 

though I don’t really enjoy either as characters mostly due to their writing, cody and sierra would be an interesting final two. maybe cody finally stands up to sierra, or sierra struggles with wanting to be the winner of total drama or helping the boy she likes win. it definitely wouldn't be as good as the canon two but there would be a lot of clashing dynamics at play that'd be fun to explore

TDROTI: Lightning & Cameron

admittedly, I don’t remember too much from this season, but it really felt like these two kind of coasted by. I never found lightning to be a particularly compelling character and thought it weird how he suddenly went from dumb jock to evil jock in the last episode or two. cameron really felt like he was just carried through the season, similarly to beth, though I dont have as much as an issue with him winning. I dont think it was a bad finale, per se, I just think if those were the final two they should've been written better from the start

seeing as how jo really played the game and went all in, I think she would’ve been a great finalist. it would’ve been interesting to see her versus (commando?) zoey though im not the biggest zoey fan. I think a jo versus lightning finale could actually work (or brick) though if there was a jo versus cameron finale, I couldn't see him logically winning bc jo would just destroy him

TDAS: Mike & Zoey

*BIG FUCKING INHALE* no. just no. im probably not gonna say anything that’s not already been said so ill keep it short. bland, mal writing bad, have someone who's been in the game for 3 previous seasons instead of  1 make it to the ALL STARS FINALE. jfc.

you know what would’ve been an interesting finale? gwen versus courtney. they both said they wanted to reach the final two with the other one, so maybe they do! maybe they start to struggle with their friendship because of courtney’s competitive streak! maybe one of their helpers is duncan and that causes strife between them! maybe they become enemies again and don’t make up until the finale! maybe they decide to split the money! idk! it would've had a hell of a  lot more flavor than what we got

TDPI: Shawn & Sky

I don’t really have an issue with either of these characters making it to the finale. they’re compelling, worked hard, and have distinct goals. I would’ve liked to see jasmine in the finale but I'd be cool replacing either one with her: jasmine and shawn having to compete against one another would be an interesting relationship hurdle and sky versus jasmine would've been cool because they’re both very athletic and it would’ve been the first f vs f total drama finale (we've had m vs f and m vs m but no all-girl finales...)

TDRR: Surfer Dudes & Police Cadets

Again, I don’t really have an issue with this finale. I really like how Sanders and MacArthur both work hard in their own ways and have to learn how to work together (MacArthur breaking Sanders’ arm and realizing that she can negatively affect her partner and also that Sanders is super tough was a GREAT arc). I know there’s been some contention about the Surfer Dudes being eliminated and then coming back so late in the game, but it made sense to me. They chose to lose because they felt that they owed it to Devin and Carrie, and that choice paid off when Devin and Carrie called in a replacement team. I doubt the surfers expected that to happen, they were just trying to be fair, but that kindness was rewarded in a big way which I think was sweet, especially  considering how much of a hot mess this show can be. 

I gotta say, this does kinda remind me of the TDI finale, with the villain (heather/ice dancers) getting eliminated third, and their rival (gwen/police cadets) making it to the finale with the fun guy (owen/surfer dudes). The reason I like the Surfer Dudes as finalists more than Owen is that I felt they put in more effort during challenges and had more of an arc (with Josee’s mind games ending up bonding them as a team after strife, choosing to be eliminated for the sake of fairness, etc). 

Speaking of Owen, it’s kind of ironic that if I had to replace a team in the finale, I would replace the surfer dudes with the reality tv pros. they’re my favorite team and I think it wouldve been great for them to really live up to their name. I think it also would've been funny for the ice dancers to be so focused on their rivalry with the cadets that the pros just completely go under their radar until its the final three and the ice dancers are like “oh crap they’re PROS why haven't we been trying to destroy them??”

I also wouldn't mind replacing the surfer dudes with the sisters. I know emma gets a lot of hate (mostly because of nemma which I only like platonically) but I actually like her as a character (when she wasn’t being obsessive) and I think she and kitty were a great team that had a good arc of learning to work together. I also think it would be really interesting because for the final three they would all have rivalries with one another: the police cadets and the ice dancers (obvious) the ice dancers and the sisters (josee messed with them in at least 2 challenges) and the sister and the police cadets (kitty and macarthur’s game/road rage was hilarious)

[rnegitsune]

Ok so I thought I'd put together some horror stories from my time as a babymetal fan bc of how drastic the shift in the fandom has been the past year or so. For context I got into babymetal in like june of 2014 (all 3 girls were still underage at the time, I was 22; when I first got into them I thought I would be considered an older fan lmao the naivete, the innocence of new fan me wow I know now I'm not at all in the older half of the fandom esp considering I was born the same decade as su and moa), and I made this blog in I think may of 2015.

I've had people say I should compile men being gross into a post and I just couldn't do that out of fear for my own mental health but this will be pretty close. These are all my experiences with this fandom over the years; I'm definitely missing some but what I do remember should do well to cover most of how this fandom used to be vs now. It's gonna be a lot and tw for men being gross about minors.

Back in my first year or so of this blog I on multiple occasions got dms from men asking to be friends. At the time my bio only said my name and my pronouns. I've always been cautious of dms so I'd ask their age and every single one was considerably older than me. I wouldn't usually answer after that bc no thanks but they would generally try to continue convos til I blocked. The only one I still had was this one

After I put my age in my bio, which was 23 at the time, I never got a dm like that again; take from that what you will. But if you're young please be wary of this hell fandom even now. And if you're an older fan and esp an older male fan reading this, don't dm people trying to be friends. I was over 18 and it still creeped me out to no end.

One of my real first men in this fandom are disgusting moments was a blog back in like 2015 or 2016 who I had some contact with due to common interests; he was a huge yui stan and made bm content. He was like 28 or 29 at the time and I eventually noticed he would tag idols, mostly kpop girls, by their body parts (legs, butt, etc) which is disgusting enough as it is but then I saw him do the same for literal minors, like tzuyu from twice. I messaged him asking what the hell he was doing objectifying women but also actual children and he blocked me lmao. He later unblocked me to let me know that's just how he tagged things and it was my fault he had anxiety and then he blocked me again.

Back before the tumblr purge this fandom was repulsive to a degree I cannot even begin to describe. Someone would reblog something from me, I'd go to their blog and it would be underage jpop idols and japanese p*rn all the way down. I even stumbled upon a man editing underage su into p*rn gifs. Obviously no proof of that but I did go find my initial reaction to it

The number of times I'd get a follow from someone then go to their blog and it would be as mentioned above or their bio would be the most misogynistic trash I'd ever read was staggering. I genuinely considered giving up and deleting this blog so many times bc i felt oberwhelmed and outnumbered by these gross old dudes; and so the fact that this fandom has evolved into a bunch of chaotic wlw?? Amazing, I could cry.

Fun phenomenon of women running bm blogs was men sending messages asking if we liked babymetal. No joke. I think this happened to me two or three times but I spoke w other female creators at the time and it had happened to them as well. My entire blog is babymetal, and yet???

He said the weird guy idk bc he sent some random ass messages vaguely insulting me and when I responded coldly, he acted confused so I said you're some guy idk, hence the above message starting as such. Also that pic and the one up above that has my current pfp bc I just took those screenshots. Like I said I typically blocked weird dms but I guess these passed me by so I still had the messages.

Most people know the sub reddit is the worst and don't need me to tell you but it's a hellscape and I highly recommend avoiding it. A short list of things I've had to see as a result of going there: men discussing at length kano and momoko's appearances and how they look in costume vs in normal clothes. Men discussing at length the hope that the girls would marry men who aren't Japanese, a thread that was from when all 3 girls were underage. They aren't gonna marry you dude they're really not.

The insulting of billie Eilish, a 17 year old at the time, was horrible too. Su and moa got to meet her, something they were extremely excited for, and they posted a pic; the comments were disgusting as you can imagine. The yui rumors were terrible too, fatshaming, slutshaming etc all based on nothing. Some man saying the rumors about yui leaving bc, no joke this was a real rumor, she "got too fat" couldn't be true bc "look at saya." Saya being a barely 18 yo back up dancer who covered the third spot after yui left but before the avengers. Not to mention the upskirt shots from when they were minors, the constant editing of their faces onto explicit photoshoots etc. I remember being a new fan looking for a su pic on google and being horrified at the fact that one of the top suggested results after her name was “bikini;” she was 16 at the time. Also, the uptick in massively creepy posts and messages sent to bm blogs as each girl, but esp moa and yui, approached 18 was disgusting.

Now for some personal nonsense. A big reason why I haven't touched my youtube channel in months is bc I got tired of dealing with the men of this fandom. I poke fun at metal and get told I deserve to die. I say ped*philes and creepy men are gross and get a swarm of middle aged men cursing at me. Had a guy cry about how men are shamed for liking bm and then he turned around and said some gross shit about wlw. Had a guy call me racist for liking a band he also likes (and despite him having no way of knowing my own race) and tell me the babymetal fandom doesn't need my kpop feminist bullshit, which is honestly a great description and I thought about putting it in my yt about lmao. Had a middle aged man unironically say he'd never seen a man be creepy towards bm but fans su and moa's ages calling them hot was creepy. The disillusionment....the level of unawareness is astounding. If you want to see screenshots of some of these comments they are fairly recent in my don't mind me tag; I don't want to see them anymore tho bc they're infuriating so I'm not going to look at them to post here.

Essentially I haven't looked at my channel since may bc men are exhausting and rude and refuse to examine the fandoms they're a part of no matter what. They're told by a woman of the fandom that she's had bad experiences personally and they all start crying about how it's either a lie bc they haven't seen it or unimportant. I did stop reading comments in may and I will never read another one again probably as a result of this shit. Trash men being trash are not worth my time and I refuse to give them anymore of it. I do plan on making more videos tho and let my ~feminist kpop bullshit~ live in their minds rent free.

I will also continue to make fun of metal and the creepy men in this fandom bc it's important and I'm a spiteful asshole who likes disrupting these dudes perfect bubble of a fandom. It genuinely brings me so much joy seeing all the new fans recently (which sidenote if you got into them recently I am kinda curious as to how you found them; I've gotten tons of new followers and considering how inactive they are rn I'm curious). People sending messages about how they finally feel like they belong or that they have a safe space....like I don't even know what to say and I never feel like my responses fully convey how genuinely wonderful that is and how thrilled I am that this is where we're at now and I have had at least some part in it. As this post shows, my experiences have been negative for the most part so the shift recently is such a relief I cannot even begin to explain my gratitude.

So to anyone who read all of this and hasn't disintegrated from the male bullshit, thank you. Keep being yourself and fighting for your place in this fandom, esp if you're a young woman; keep making fun of the creeps and keep making wlw memes!! Babymetal's music is in such a huge way meant for girls and to see more and more finding their way to this previously hellish beyond belief fandom is incredible.

[jonroxton]

dceu fandom gothic

two year old meta being recirculated whenever a new dceu movie drops and remembering all your bvs fandom friends are deactivated and others have changed their names so you don’t know who they are anymore

it’s 2015 and you can talk about man of steel that’s been out for two years now. you find out it was well received and broke records. u openly cry about the hans zimmer score changing your life you still listen to it

realizing after the first bvs trailer dropped how many people you follow were unironic m(u stans and the veil is torn from your eyes. wait a second. all of tumblr is unironically into the m(u and female coded tony stark meta has10,000 notes and ignores six of the thirteen movies tony appears.meta about dancers in captain america that appear in one scene as 30000 notes. the meta about steve running laps in DC has 20,000 notes and these ppl use real math to calculate a path to ????? idk man i still don’t know but ON YOUR LEFT LOLLLLL dc pretentious losers with their artsy fartsy allegories and PTSD and character arcs and multiple POCS and WOCS pffff

HAhaaaa if they listen to the haters they’ll hire j0ss wh3don to take over justice league AHAHAAAAAA IMAGINE!!!!!!!!!!!sdkfsflhsdkf

bvs the 950 million dollar flop

suicide squad the 750 million oscar winning flop

ww the savior of the dceu makes 1 billion for zero reason without marketing or lead in gal gadot just appeared before our very eyeballs fully formed

no no nooooo aquaman saved the dceu makes another 1 billion for also zero reason it’s not like the first image zack released six years before justice league came out was of jason momoa as arthur that incorporated his culture into the mythos that was by accident

shazam saved the dceu

no birds of prey saved it

except no? birds of prey flopped

except birds of prey made its money back

except birds of prey was not exemplary of feminism so it failed as a female movie

it should’ve been pg-13 so little girls could see it

except the movie should not just be for little girls

and it shouldn’t alienate men

everyone who is going to this movie is being tricked into seeing it bc no one has any awareness about the media they consume whatsoever

except it should have had absolute mass appeal to matter

trying to explain the difference between performative diversity and inclusiveness and actual diversity and inclusiveness but lol hot topic MARTHAAAAAAA grim dark NOT MYYYY SUPERMAN

you don’t actually hate the m(u and while this has always been true you are constantly surprised when you remember that you don’t hate the m(u actually you’ve never thought as much about the m(u until you joined the dceu fandom

being nostalgic for 2015-2017 even tho you received death threats 

the joker as a domineering unpredictable gangster who abuses his girlfriend? nope sorry can’t have that! also doesn’t matter that margot robbie worked on her costumes with the female costume designer who won an academy award for her work or that the most exposed amazons were professional body builders holding up a thousand tons of rock to help their queen escape it’s all exploitive bc zack snyder hates women and wants you to sexualize their bulging muscles faora who what now? marthat LOL MARTHAAAA lois has sex with her boyfriend of two years the slut how dare she be vulnerable

every single dceu movie is a rip off of an m(u movie but also somehow too fake deep and too different stylistically to appease m(u fans and you have stopped trying to make sense of why these people want the same movie ten thousand times, movies they actively ignore and outright hate

you try not to think about how the wb chose to listen to the haters who were never going to like their movies instead of the people who passionately loved and defended them. you don’t know if you’re going to see the next dceu movie. you listen to old MOSAIC podcasts and discover something you missed in bvs even though it’s been five years and you’ve seen it a hundred times

there is ONE single cbm news site you trust but you expect them to let you down any moment now. 

james gunn had to delete 10,000 tweets with p3do jokes about little boys and he made a parody of man of steel where a little super powered boy turns evil. the wb gives him suicide squad. zack snyder’s daughter suicide is fair game. the wb fires him.

critics still hate dceu movies despite them being brighter, lighter and more fun standalones with zero consequences like they wanted. almost as if they never gave a shit and won't ever give a shit! you want to tok about this but the dceu fandom doesn’t really exist any more not like it did

every single dceu tag gives you anxiety

you are ready at any given moment to fight j0ss wh3don. buffy isn’t that good and neither was firefly and you should say it. ANGEL 4EVA

[yeontanismypresident]

Blushing Bride | myg

a/n: sorry it’s so short and took so long. it seems my inspiration and motivation to write is still not at its fullest. hopefully i’ll get it back soon and i’ll come back and edit this. i also have only been to one wedding and that was like when i was 13 so i have no clue how they really go so sorry it’s not accurate lol.

pairing: min yoongi x reader

word count: 2.4k

genre: slight angst, fluff

warnings: doubts about marriage, implications of sex, fluff fluff fluffffff, marrying yoongi bc uwu

Those six months passed by in a blur, and before you knew it, it was a week before your wedding. A week before you both state, “I do.” You could feel your nerves getting increasingly worse. Thoughts of whether Yoongi truly wanted to marry you were swirling around in your head. What if he was having doubts? If he didn’t want to have you as his wife anymore? Luckily, Yoongi was always there to get rid of those insecurities.

One night, as the two of you were cuddled up on the couch watching a movie, you voiced these insecurities, “Yoongi, are you sure you want to marry me?” He looked at you with confusion plastered on his face.

“Of course I do. I wouldn’t have asked you in the first place if I didn’t,” he mumbled, holding you closer to him. He didn’t know where these thoughts were coming from, didn’t know if you were the one starting to doubt it. 

Sighing, you placed your chin on his chest and gazed into his eyes, “I just- what if you regret proposing to me? What if later on you realize this was a mistake and want a divorce? That I’m not good enough for you? Not skinny or pretty enough? You always said you didn’t care for marriage." 

He could see the fear in your eyes and heard the way your voice started breaking. Yoongi felt his heart clench at the sight, and he pulled you into a chaste kiss, effectively cutting off your panicked rambling. 

"Hey, none of that. I’m in love with you so fucking much and I never want to lose you. I should be the one worried. You’re literally so perfect and deserve so much better,” Yoongi said calmly, his gaze locked with your own.

Pressing his forehead to yours he whispered “I will love you no matter how you look, baby. You’re perfect to me, even with all the flaws you think you have.” His sincere words had tears sliding down your cheeks as you leaned up to kiss him tenderly. 

“I love you too,” you muttered against his lips, sighing as he deepened the kiss and tugged you to lay on top of him.

Shaking your head, you cleared your thoughts and focused back on the task at hand. It was now four days before the wedding, and tonight was your bachelorette party. Yoongi would be staying at the dorms while your friends came over to your shared apartment. There were drinks - lots of alcohol - and snacks on the table. A pile of movies was also arranged next to the refreshments. You’re making sure you have everything ready when you hear the doorbell. Walking over to your security system, you see the girls at your door, and you push the button to let them enter. 

“Y/n!!” Jinwoo shouted, pulling you into a hug. 

Chuckling, you pulled away from her “Hi, Jiwoon.” The others bring you into their own embraces, all stating how they’re ready for a night of fun. 

“I still don’t get why we weren’t allowed to hire a stripper,” Minsoo pouted as she crossed her arms. 

You giggled, leading the way to the living room where everything was, “Cause when Yoongi heard about it he got jealous and firmly stated there were to be no strippers." 

"We can still have fun without all of that, Minsoo,” Hana said, and you gave her a smile of gratitude.

If you were being honest, you didn’t even want an adult dancer. You were perfectly fine with a quiet night in. When the maknaes had told you they were bringing one to Yoongi’s bachelor party, you were the one to be jealous and put your foot down. So imagine your shock and anger when you receive a text from Jimin. 

Jimin: Sorry, Y/n. We couldn’t resist (; *image attached*

Inhaling a deep breath, you clicked on the message. A snort escaped you when you saw the picture. There Yoongi was, sitting on a chair with a bright red face. Someone was sitting on his lap with a flirtatious expression. It seems the ‘stripper’ they hired was actually Hoseok in short shorts and a crop top. 

“What are ya laughing at?” Jinwoo mumbled around the spoon in her mouth. There was chocolate sauce smeared across her lips and on her fingers. How the fuck did she already make a mess…?

You handed her your phone, allowing them to see the text “Apparently, Yoongi is getting a lap dance.” They all giggled, handing your phone back. The night went on, and you all had tons of fun.

The night before your wedding you were a shaking mess, worried for the next day. Once again Yoongi was spending the night at the dorms while the girls stayed with you. They could all see you were nervous and they didn’t know what to do to calm you down.

“Y/n, are you okay?” Hana asked you, her voice quiet. You hummed, leg bouncing, only stopping when Jinwoo placed her hand on your thigh. 

Glancing at them, you could see their concerned looks, “I’m fine. Just worried and excited for tomorrow. What if I trip while walking down the aisle? What if he’s not even at the end waiting?” You worried your lip between your teeth, leg starting to bounce again.

“Please, Yoongi is so whipped for you, and so in love, he’ll definitely be there waiting for you,” Minsoo stated, distracting you as Hana pulled out her phone. 

Jinwoo grabbed your hand, “Yeah, you’re the love of his life, babes. I mean, c'mon, he’s literally getting married to you when he doesn’t care for an official marriage." 

Before you can say anything, Hana handed you her cellphone. When you gave her a perplexed expression she nodded to it. Looking down at it, you could see an ongoing call with Seokjin and brought it up to your ear.

"Hello?” you asked, not expecting Yoongi’s voice to come through. 

His voice is soft and full of love, “I hear you’re nervous? Is it for the same reasons, or is it something different?" 

"I’m just…scared I’m going to trip, or you won’t be there waiting for me…” you trailed off, knowing he wasn’t going to like your words.

Yoongi sighed, “Baby, I promise you, I will be there waiting because you mean the world to me. And if you trip, then I’ll be there to catch you. You don’t have to be scared, love." 

"Alright…I love you,” you breathed out, a small smile on your lips.

He chuckled, and you could tell he had a huge grin when he spoke, “I love you too, princess. I’ll see you tomorrow." 

You hung up and handed Hana her phone back, thanking her quietly for what she did.

"Y/n, how do you feel?” Minsoo asked as she curled your hair. It was finally the day of your wedding, and your friends were helping you get dressed. 

You grinned, “I’m still anxious, but I think it’s more of an excited anxious.” She looked at you with happiness, glad you were feeling relaxed. 

“Oh, honey, you look so beautiful,” a soft feminine voice spoke. Glancing behind you in the mirror, you saw your mom and dad standing at the door. Minsoo backed up and allowed you to move around her. 

Quick to tug the two into a hug, you gave a soft greeting. “Hi mom, hi dad.” They returned the embrace, tears in their eyes as they took a closer look at you. 

“Oh, sweetie. You look so grown up. Yoongi is a lucky man,” your mom told you as she fluffed part of your skirt lightly. Your dad nodded, showing he agreed with his wife. 

A bashful smile appeared on your face, “I’m the lucky one.” Once you were dressed and ready to go, you all made your way to the doors you would be walking through. 

As soon as the pianist started playing the wedding march, Yoongi could feel his hands become sweaty. He wasn’t having doubts, no, he was just afraid you wouldn’t be there, or that he would mess up his vows. He’s so caught up in his mind, that he doesn’t notice you making your way down the aisle with your dad. Only when Hoseok nudges him does he look up from the ground. 

His breath hitched in his throat and liquid gathered in his eyes when he saw you in your wedding dress with your makeup and hair done. You looked absolutely gorgeous, and he was so fortunate to be the one marrying you. His gaze was solely focused on you, and when your eyes met, he couldn’t stop the gummy smile that spread onto his face. 

When you saw Yoongi standing there in his black tuxedo with glassy eyes, you felt your heart beat faster. In just a few moments, you would permanently be his. You’d be Mrs. Min. Min Y/n. Yoongi’s wife. Your father handed you off to Yoongi once you reached the altar. Placing your hands in his, you gave him a shy smile. 

“You look so beautiful, princess,” Yoongi whispered so just the two of you could hear. 

A bright blush coated your cheeks, “Thank you, so do you.” He gave you his gummy grin and looked back to the priest as he started to speak. 

“Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join Yoongi and Y/n in matrimony commended to be honorable among all; and therefore is not to be entered into lightly but reverently, passionately, lovingly and solemnly. Into this - these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together - let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”

Yoongi let out a loud sigh of relief when no one stood up or spoke. The guests laughed, causing him to blush with a shy smile. 

“From what I can understand, you two have your own vows you’d like to say?” the priest asked. 

Yoongi gulped, “I do- I mean yes, we wrote our own.”

Hoseok - his best man - laughed. Everyone could tell Yoongi was nervous, and you giggled, squeezing his hands. Once the priest gave him permission, your soon-to-be husband took a shaky breath in. God, please don’t let him mess up.

“Here I stand in front of you, the love of my life, to show you that you mean the world to me. Ever since I first saw you that night at the convenience store, I knew you were the one for me. You were sitting there just slurping up ramen - quite messily if I do say so myself,“ Yoongi started, teasing you at the end, earning chuckles from the guests. 

He fondly smiled at you, "I never really thought I would get married, it wasn’t that important to me. That is until I met you. As we grew together and became closer throughout the years, I realized that I would go through with all of this if it meant I got to spend the rest of my life, and even after it, with you by my side.”

“Y/n, you may now say your vows,” the priest turned towards you.

You cleared your throat, “Yoongi, I love you with all my heart. You are my best friend. Today I will give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle.”

“I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you and to always hold you in the highest regard. I will always love you, no matter what, for the rest of our existence,” you said, unadulterated love in your gaze. 

A tear makes its way down your cheek and Yoongi raises his hand to gently wipe it away. You let out a teary giggle, sniffling as your thumb rubbed against the back of his hand.

“We will now have the exchanging of the rings,” the priest said as Hoseok holds out the rings.

Yoongi grabbed a your ring as the priest asked, “Do you take Y/n as your lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?”

“I do,” Yoongi grins, placing the ring onto your ring finger. 

The priest looks to you, “Do you take Yoongi as your lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?" 

"I do,” your voice is filled with happiness as you place the band on Yoongi’s ring finger. 

He smiled at the two of you, “You may now kiss the bride." 

Yoongi grinned, his eyes closing as he put his hands around your waist. tugging you into a passionate kiss. You kissed back, letting your mouth part when his tongue licks your bottom lip. The two of you are too caught up in each other to hear the sounds of clapping and the rest of the members shouting. 

The reception after the ceremony was filled with laughter, jokes, and dancing. Yoongi and you had multiple people coming up to congratulate you on the marriage. All of the members were tipsy on the fancy champagne. Jungkook was busy stuffing his face with food, Taehyung and Jimin were drunkenly dancing on the dance floor. Namjoon and Seokjin were seeing who could take the most shots. Hoseok was discussing the honeymoon with your husband. God, it felt so nice and made you feel bubbly calling him that. 

You were so caught up in your head, that you didn’t notice Yoongi coming up behind you until he had his palms on your sides. He leaned down and whispered into your ear, "Hey, princess. Are you ready to head out? We have to catch our flight in an hour.”

“Yeah, yeah I am,” you said, voice breathy as you felt his warm breath on your neck. 

He placed an open-mouthed kiss on your throat, his voice in a growl, “I can’t wait to see this wedding dress on the floor of our hotel room, baby girl.”

“I guess we should go then, huh?” you gasped, tilting your head to give him more room.

Yoongi smirked, “Yeah, let’s go, baby.”

[in-this-body-of-mine]

To The Bone (2017) - Analysis and Charting

Let’s go! I’m NOT excited because life is hard but what better way to distract myself than to do this kind of shit. No one cares, anyways.

Since this is the first one, let me tell you what we’re gonna do here. I’ll include the IMDB summary, a summary with spoilers, the placements in the chart, we’ll go over each item (also, spoilers abound) and finally my review and final thoughts. Yes, it’s gonna be long. Read at your own risk.

IMDB summary:  A young woman, dealing with anorexia, meets an unconventional doctor who challenges her to face her condition and embrace life.

Summary with spoilers: Lily Collins plays Ellen/Eli and from the start of the movie she is on the brink of her disease. She was just kicked out of a recovery center and she gets an appointment with a ~cool unconventional doctor~ played by Keanu Reeves. She goes into ANOTHER inpatient treatment home to be treated by him. Shit happens, she seems to be getting better somehow, but then she spirals down, runs away, and after a... near death experience (I wish this was an euphemism) she decides to try recovery again and goes back to the treatment home. That’s where the movie ends.

Chart placements!

Now for each item:

White: Ellen or Eli is played by Lily Collins, who once played Sandra Bullock’s daughter in that movie were she was a Karen. It doesn’t get whiter than that.

Female: She changes her name to Eli mid film (which is how I’ll be calling her here bc we respect chosen names in this household) but she still seems to identify as female and be referred to as such, so here we have it. We do have a guy in the treatment home, but we’ll come back to him later.

Teenager/Young adult: I’m pretty sure she is 19 but every review I see says she’s 20. Either way, she dropped out of college even though she just started it. The actress, however, was 28 at the time the movie was released.

Wealthy/seemingly well-off: Her family has the money to send her to inpatient a bunch of times, and they make a point to mention how they have connections so she didn’t have to wait in line to see this new doctor. Case closed.

Skinny actress from the start: As we know, Lily Collins is already thin and she did struggle with anorexia in the past. Why, however, did she lose weight for this movie? They said it was her decision “to make the character more authentic”. As if not being skin and bones wouldn’t be enough. As if eating disorders don’t come in every size. They shouldn’t let her. The need to shock people is a very dangerous sign to me.

No distinctive personality or hobbies/interests: I’m glad Eli has a thing she loves. It’s not super present, but it’s there, and it’s plot relevant. She loves art and in the story, she had a tumblr (look, it’s us!) where she shared drawings related to her ED and a girl liked her drawings so much that, when she killed herself, she mentioned Eli by name in a note. But that isn’t really explored too much and I kind of got disappointed by that.

Good student: We don’t really know about that... and I don’t think it matter, it’s ok.

Seemingly irrelevant love interest: Why? Just why do we need Luke? Luke is the only guy in the home, and we can SEE that he’s only there to be Eli’s love interest. He wasn’t needed. None of the important plot points have anything to do with him. Make her date a girl. Make her date NO ONE. This is about eating disorders. She could have closer friends in the house. Why was this necessary. Her whole speech about how love is a lie could come from a friendship but no. They had to shove pretty white boy there.

Daddy issues (sometimes coupled with mommy issues): I find this extremely funny but her dad isn’t in the movie. At all. He’s alive and well, but he makes a point to never come home when Eli is even awake. I don’t think they cast an actor for that. As for mothers, she has three, and it’s a trip. Her stepmom on her dad’s side is very out of touch but she wants what’s best for Eli, but she really hates Eli’s biological mom. Bio mom, in turn, is described as a “bipolar lesbian” and the stereotypes are just... ugh. Bio mom has a wife and she is a bit weird too. They sent Eli to live with her absent dad bc “they couldn’t deal with it anymore”. This brings us to a great scene where we can see Eli shrinking in her seat and when the psychiatrist asks her what she is feeling she says “I’m sorry I’m not a person anymore. I’m a problem.” And that’s great to see. But at the same time, I hate that her whole issue in this movie seems to come from her family and anorexia is just a thing that happened, with some vague references to control. 

*Triggering event*: We never see it and it’s okay - but I kind of wanted some more explorations of motives because we have ZERO.

Anorexia as diagnosis: As I always say, what is even the point of making a cool looking movie about EDs if your protagonist is not only anorexic, but also terminally anorexic? Ugh. That’s the only portrayal of anorexia that happens in media and I’m fucking tired.

Checklist of habits (manual for those looking for one): I mean, I mark this down but as I always say: everything is a manual if you’re looking for one. But if you’re doing more than not eating or purging or exercising I’ll judge it as a new tip. A lot of us already thought of/did most of them probably. But the marking remains.

Inpatient treatment (or extended hospital stay): As I said, she is kicked out of one treatment center and goes straight into another. What fucks me up is that the movie HAS other characters with other diagnosis, but we never see anything about them. We don’t see their journey. We only know Luke is a dancer bc he is the love interest. We only know Megan is pregnant and then she’s not bc this sends Eli in a spiral. We only know Kendra is not straight bc she makes a joke about it (and Doctor Beckham follows with a horrible joke about conversion therapy). Did you notice Ciara Bravo was in this movie? I didn’t on first viewing. She has like two lines. The whole movie is centered around Eli and every scene in the house feels like all the other patients only care about her too.

Emotional tipping point: Megan loses her baby and for some reason this affects Eli. Luke kisses Eli and for some reason she’s pissed. At that point, I was annoyed. She has a bad session with Doctor Beckham who basically tells her to grow a pair and stop complaining (which is insensitive as a doctor, but as a person I wanted to do the same) and she decides to quit and leave. She has to go to her mother’s home and I’m supposed to care. Stepmom is mad but doctor says she needs to hit rock bottom. She weights like 70 pounds dude. Rock bottom was about ten pounds ago, next stop is a coffin, mate.

Mom hugs: And here we have the emotional turn around of the movie and it’s just... make it make sense. She goes to her bio mom’s ranch. Her stepmom # 2 tells they’ll have therapy with horses (?). Eli goes sleep in a tent and bio mom cries and says she accepts if Eli wants to die. Very supportive I guess. They have this weird bonding moment where the mom feeds her a bottle like a baby and look, if you liked that, good for you, but I don’t get what I was supposed to feel about it (but that’s mom hug #1). She goes on a hike next morning and... dies? Either way she has an out of body experience where she talks to Luke and sees how she looks - which is weird to me. Didn’t we go over this in the beggining of the movie? Didn’t we establish that she does know what she looks like and doesn’t care? But still she seems shocked and they have a cryptical conversation and she wakes up. And just like that, she’s ok now. She meets up with the other stepmom (mom hug # 2) and goes back to the home.

Happy ending: In the last scene Eli is back to the home and we understand she’s going to try to recover for real this time. I’m okay with that specifically, I think it would be bad if they pretended she just got better with no relapses and everything is fine, but it’s a hopeful ending. Despite the fact that we have no idea if she won’t have a fit and leave in two days and that we never know anything about anyone else and Megan, who lost the baby, never comes back. It’s fine. At that point, I didn’t expect much.

Analysis: I was hesitant to be critical bc this movie was based on the real life experiences of the director and Lily Collins. But fuck it, this is my circus and I’ll clown as much as I want. While I do understand that, I have a lot of thoughts.

Mainly, I need to say that while I understand this is her story, this is a story that was told so many times. I’m tired.

The general public that wants to defend the movie says “well you can’t tell ALL stories”, and while I agree, these people probably only saw this movie about the subject. If you HAVE (or had) and eating disorder, you probably saw tons. And they ALL tell the same story. Which is why I started that chart in the first place.

This movie does have good moments. I do like the acting, I saw people complaining about Keanu Reeves performance - but I do know these were people who disliked the movie entirely. I think his performance was great, Lily Collins performance was great, and their chemistry was great. The best scenes in the movie happened between the two of them. The one thing that I LOVED was their first interaction when he calls her on her bullshit. “You’re not thin, you scare people, and I think you like that.” YES. I never heard anyone talk about that. And I guess I’ll never will, bc the movie itself never talk about this again either. Also when she justifies the tumblr where her art triggered a girl so much, she says that she was just drawing what she knows, he calmly tells her that she can draw, but she doesn’t have to share it online tho. I liked their interactions because often ED patients are treated with silk gloves (is that the expression?) and sometimes there is a need for some though love. I also love Liana Liberato who plays her sister and that’s about it.

The problem with the doctor ends up being: what’s his method? How are you going to cure her? The method makes no sense. I don’t see the reasoning. I don’t think anyone does. And somehow it works and she goes back there. 

I think my major problem with the movie is that it has the same issues every ED portrayal before it. It’s the same story again. I think it shines the most in the whole “it’s not about food, it’s about control!”. It IS about food though. For a lot of people, it is. Maybe not for this director or for Lily Collins, but for so many people it is about food. It’s about control as well, and it is possible that there is other factors related to it, but you can’t chalk it all up to a control issue and pretend it’s just whatever. If the food didn’t matter, it wouldn’t be an eating disorder.

Because of that, we have this heavy focus on her family issues and nothing to do with food. We have people trying to rationalize - maybe it’s bc your mom is a lesbian, maybe it’s bc i didn’t bond with you as a baby - and all that does is to make her lesbian bipolar mother seem like a crazy asshole and her dad seem like an absent asshole as if this is the only factor here. Give me SOMETHING. Any connection to food. Any sense. Nope. She just won’t eat bc her family is fucked up. Hoe, that’s all of us.

And I think the movie unintentionally DOES glamourize anorexia. Subtly, yes, but it does. Eli has SUCH an easy time refusing food. She doesn’t seem to think about food as much as she thinks about herself and her family and Luke and being annoying. She knows a bunch of calories and she overexercises. Idk.  Not to mention that moment when Kendra asks her about purging and she says “it’s not her thing”. I mean. It is no one’s thing. No one likes it. It’s a compulsion. And if you have anorexia that severe and you are not with a feeding tube, you do eat every now and then, and you do have purging mechanisms. If she had said she prefers overexercising as a purging mechanism than to throw up, I would believe her. But the movie acts as if she just never eats ever and somehow she’s still standing. Give her a feeding tube then. It would be more believable.

I know it sounds kind of ranty, but my point here is: this extremely anorexic girl, that looks like a sack of bones, and gets that by never eating and doing crunches all the time, it is the wet dream of a fatphobic society with a 71 billion weight loss industry. This is the dreamy and frugal idea of anorexia that people have when they are deep into the illness - not when they recovered as the people involved say they did. I get that this is a very personal project. But it’s flawed. It doesn’t do anyone any favors. It just tells the same story, for the millionth time, but since this time it was in a big platform, more people saw it, and it was better done, with a better budget and with a good enough resolution so I can see every bone in Lily Collins body.

Anyway, that’s it for today. If you read all of that, thanks. Since this is Netflix, I’m assuming everyone saw, but the other movies are out there and if you need liks, hit me up. Be back soon.

[mini-moongi]

Notification [REVAMPED] || 1

Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Story prompt: What if you got an alert on your phone every time someone thought of you? They tell you their thoughts in the form of text messages.

Summary: Alert!AU, School!AU; A mysterious app appeared on your phone and you can’t get rid of it?? It texts you people’s thoughts. One day, you accidentally send the star basketball player, Min Yoongi, to the nurse’s office.

A/N: I got the sudden urge to revamp this old fic of mine bc it has SO MUCH POTENTIAL I just sucked at writing :,)) Anyways it’s been a good few years since my last written fanfic so--

Chapters: 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 coming soon!

series masterlist

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You tapped tirelessly on your phone; your eyes so dry you can hear yourself blink. It’s 3 am and you have school tomorrow, but you just have to download this new album you found whilst “studying.” After it finishes loading into your playlist, a notification popped up. You thought that maybe your years of illegally downloading music has finally caught up with you.

“ALERT: Unauthorized app: E C H O downloaded. [ERROR_606_RESET] LOG DELETED.”

You panicked, what if it’s a virus?? Going onto your home screen, you find an app called E C H O. Nothing else was out of the ordinary, except for the cryptid new app. After that fateful night, you’ve learned that it texts you the thoughts that people have about you. You couldn’t delete it, no matter how hard you tried, and you tried for weeks. Not many people think of you anyways, so it’s no biggie.

Thinking that was your first mistake.

Your friend, Byeol, was chasing you down the hallway with a dead roach she found on the floor. “Ew look, it’s guts are oozing out!!” She’s never been afraid of icky things, and will not hesitate in poking a dead organism with her bare hands. She’s a madman, and she knows you’re about to gag when she squeezes the guts of the roach between her fingers.

You’re running away from the horrifically explicit roach Byeol is holding, and as you turn your head to spew out an insult, you crash into another body. It sends you tumbling on top of them with no support to stop the fall. He lets out a deep guttural groan from the impact, and a loud “Fuck!” escapes the stranger’s lips.

Bumping into him was your second mistake.

You don’t even look at them, too scared to make eye contact as you blurt out,” I’m so sorry!!” You hastily try to recollect yourself and offer your hand to the poor victim. When you finally glance at him, you almost freeze up. You just whammed yourself into the school’s best basketball player, Min Yoongi™.

Min Yoongi is one of the seven guys at the top of the High School tier class. Some fan club even started the name, “Bangtan Boys” to address the seven handsome guys. He’s an excellent pianist, a fantastic composer, a basketball star, and unmistakably a bad boy. Guys and girls swoon over him, but he’s given them all the the cold shoulder. You recalled a friend of yours who said that his glare was so piercing, you literally feel your body tense and freeze up. You also happen to remember that he had to sit out on the last basketball game because he sprained his ankle. Ouch.

You look back over your shoulder, and of course, Byeol was pretending not to know who you were. She picked up conversation with a nearby stranger, hoping that they didn’t see the cause of this destruction. You didn’t blame her though, no one wants to get on Yoongi’s bad side. You were sure your phone had a ton of messages from ECHO, even though you’ve put it on “Do Not Disturb.”

Your guilt sinks in and it weighs heavy on your shoulders at the thought of you being the reason he’s in pain. “..Are you alright? Here, let me take you to the nurse.” You help him up and wrap his arm around your shoulder. “You can lean on me, it’s okay.” On the inside, it was definitely not okay. He accepted your offer, but he hasn’t said a single word to you this whole time. The air was thick and the silence was fueling your uneasiness.

You check him into the nurse’s office and explain the incident. Good thing it’s your lunch period, or your teacher would’ve chewed you out for being late. You check ECHO while the lady logs Yoongi into the records.

[11:37pm] Woah!! Did that girl just slam into Min Yoongi? She’s got balls..

[11:37pm] Should I pretend I don’t know her? Y/n will forgive me, right?

[11:38pm] What the fuck was that??? Why am I on the floor? And in pain??

[11:45pm] ...now what am I going to do? Who is she?

The nurse lady sets him up on one of those bed thingies, and you take this opportunity to apologize again. “I’m so sorry Yoongi, I should’ve been paying attention. If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, just let me know.” The desperation must’ve been obvious in your voice.

“...What’s your name?” Yoongi stares at you. His eyes don’t waver when you look at him in surprise. He stays unmoving, waiting for your answer.

“My name? Oh, uhm... it’s Y/n. L/n Y/n,” You were not expecting a response from him, since he seemed uninterested when you tried conversing earlier. Yoongi asking for someone’s name is considered to be something really honorable; people would pay anything to have him say that to them. But then again, they would also pay Yoongi to step on them...

“I have a request for you then, Y/n.” He lulls his head to the side, thinking his decision over. “I want you to...” He looks at you with a gaze that you just can’t shake. Your breath is caught in your throat at his stare. What is he going to say? “Be my substitute.”

“Like a substitute teacher? I’m sorry but--” You try to quickly intervene. Does he think you’re an old hag?? You didn’t think you looked that old.. or maybe he means something else? “Or did you mean a substitute as in like for your basketball game because I don’t even know how to play basketball I just--”

“No, calm your tits. I meant you’ll act as my replacement for school and go where I usually go. I need you to be my eyes and ears while I’m stuck here and at home.” He draws out a long sigh,” You just need to collect my assignments and give them to me everyday after school until I get better. If you can, fill me in on what that day was like. It’s not that hard to do, right?”

You let out a sigh of relief. Just then, you hear a knock at the door. Three boys shuffle into the clinic, giving a casual greeting to the nursing staff. Your eyes widen, how could you forget? Of course the other Bangtan Boys would come check up on him. Kim Taehyung, Park jimin, and Jung Hoseok smile to acknowledge you and turn their eyes to Yoongi.

“Are you alright?” Hoseok asks him. He’s bubbling with energy as he speaks. “We were wondering where you went. I almost had a heart attack when they said you were here!!” Hoseok grabs at his chest like he’s in more pain than Yoongi.

Jung Hoseok is known for his positive energy and “legendary” hip work. He’s a street dancer who knows everybody, and everybody knows him. He’s also in medical class for vets, and he does charities in his free time. He’s super sweet and will sometimes send flowers to the fan club.

“Are you still eating lunch with us?” Jimin pipes up. He’s leaning on the nursing bed as he drapes himself dramatically across Yoongi’s shoulders. He whines,”What will we do without you? Please tell me you’re eating with us today..”

Park Jimin is also a dancer, but he does contemporary work. When he dances, he’s graceful, like a mythical creature. He’s shy and shorter than the rest of the guys, which makes people want to dote on him. If he dances with Hoseok though, he flips like a coin. He’ll act like a playboy and tease his audience when given the chance.

“Yah, You know I can’t.” Yoongi gestures to his ankle, and his inability to move due to the immense pain. “The nurse said I should stay in here for at least an hour or two.”

You don’t know if you should leave or stay. You were about to excuse yourself because your conversation with Yoongi ended a while ago. You shouldn’t expect them to talk to you when they don’t know who you are or why you’re there. You pick up your bag and sling it over your shoulder.

Taehyung mentions you, stopping you from escaping so easily. “Who is that?” He points to you. Leave it to Taehyung to point out the elephant in the room...

He’s popular for his charming personality and ethereal looks. Taehyung is in agriculture, and he often helps Hoseok out with the animals. He plays the saxophone, which combined with theatre class, drives the fans nuts. Taehyung also seems to be super observant, and he will point out small details other people seem to miss. If he was doing a police report, he’d probably be able to tell you the exact time the incident happened and what colored crocs the perpetrator was wearing. 

As if Yoongi just remembered that you were still here, he makes another request.” Oh, as the new Yoongi, can you also keep an eye on these guys? They’ll cause chaos if I’m not there.” 

“New Yoongi?” Jimin looks incredulously at you. “What do you mean--”

Yoongi retorts,” She’s my stand in, my understudy, my alternative, my stunt double, ecetera. Need I say more?” His cold demeanor doesn’t hesitate with the response. He talks as if it was a natural request, but what part of this is natural?

"How would I...” You trail off. You find yourself stammering, unable to voice your concerns. All of the guys, attractive ones at that, were staring at you.”..How would I even do that?”

“Isn’t it obvious? For starters, we all have the same lunch period, so just eat lunch with them or something.” Yoongi shrugs his shoulders,” Do I need to plan everything out for you?”

You’re quick to object,” No!! I’m.. I’m fine. It’s okay.” It’s bad enough that he’s injured, so you shouldn’t worry Yoongi anymore.

Taehyung’s eyes light up. He speaks as if he had a eureka moment. “We have the same forensics class, don’t we? No wonder I recognized you..” You were really hoping he wouldn’t have remembered that. If people see you hanging around these guys, they’ll get the wrong idea. 

“Well I guess that settles it. I’ll sit next to you in class, and we can be partners for that new project he’s assigning.” He takes you by the hand. His touch was so sudden and warm that it takes you a minute to realize you’re in the cafeteria already. He looks down at you and smiles. “This is our spot.”

Only when you part from him to grab your bag that you realize he held your hand this entire time. You start to miss his warmth, but you shake out any of those thoughts from your head. What were you thinking? Your heart pounds in your chest, and your cheeks grow hot. You breathe out a shaky breath, trying to calm down. Anyone would feel this way if they were you. You go from being an average joe to suddenly sitting next the the Bangtan Boys? It’s almost like you’re in a fanfiction. You shouldn’t fall in love with one of them, that would be too cliché and very, very dangerous.

You finished settling down your things and find that Taehyung was still waiting for you. Hoseok already rushed to the pizza line, and Jimin was swarmed by girls who made him bento boxes. He smiles politely to them all, unsure of how to decline. His eyes glance at you like a plead for help, but a girl starts to scold him so he looks away.

“What did you want to eat? Noodles?” It was pretty loud in the cafeteria, so Taehyung walked closer. He leaned down and whispered in your ear. “..Or do you want to eat me?” His hot breath tickled your ear. It was a deep and husky voice, one that sent shivers down your spine.

Shocked at his words, you jumped back. “W..What?” You never thought Taehyung was so bold. You’ve heard of him being flirty, but this was cutting it close. It was like dirty talking, but you’ve barely met him!!

He tried to suppress his laugh as he looked at you. “I said: Or do you want to eat meat?” He raises an eyebrow at you. He knows you’re flustered, and feigns innocence. “There’s a rice with two meat deal today. What did you think I said?”

You could’ve sworn he said “me” and not “meat,” but maybe you were thinking into it too much. You decided which one you wanted and Taehyung walks to the line with you. Whilst waiting for your turn, you check ECHO.

It was what you expected. Many of them were like:

[12:03pm] Wtf??? Who is that girl?

[12:03pm] Is she their girlfriend? No-- it has to be a cousin, right? But she’s so plain looking...

[12:04pm] Why is she holding Kim Taehyung’s hand? Don’t tell me--

[12:05pm] Y/n?? What did that girl do now.. ((((゜д゜;))))

Oh yeah, you should probably tell Byeol that you kind of have to sit with Bangtan during lunch now. Good to know that everyone is gawking at you now, I guess. There are hundreds of messages screaming about “who is that girl!1!1!!!!” so you scroll past most of them. One however, catches your eye.

[12:10pm] She’s so cute lol

You don’t think ECHO has ever sent you a compliment like this before. Someone thinks you’re cute? The thought warms your heart. This is the first time you’ve had an admirer.

“Hey, what are you looking at on your phone?” Taehyung rips you to reality. “How do you have so many messages?” He starts to lean over your shoulder to get a glimpse.

Antsy, you turn off your phone and press your hand to his chest to give some distance. “It’s.. It’s my online friends! They wanted to play the new game with me.” 

He stands back up, no longer breathing on your neck. “Oh? The one that was released just last week? What was it called...” He ponders for a minute,” Animal Crossing?” 

You nod. Conversation starts from there, and you let out that breath you’ve been holding in. You both pay for your meals and head over to the table. You could see Hoseok stuffing his face with pizza and sprite while he scribbles down answers to a worksheet. Jimin is desperately trying to get him to eat some of the bento boxes, but all of his attempts were futile. 

“...So I know you’re the New Yoongi or whatever, but what’s your real name?” Hoseok asks you. “If you don’t know me already, I’m Jung Hoseok, but you can call me Hobi!” 

Jimin and Taehyung look at each other. You hadn’t even thought to introduce yourself earlier, how much more embarrassing can this day be? Quick, be cool!!

“I’m L/n Y/n, but just Y/n is fine.”

“You probably know us already, but you can call me Tae or any various nickname you can conjure up,” He laughs,” The more creative the better.”

Jimin nudges his shoulder,” Like Spoiled Yogurt Kid?” It’s hard for the smaller one to contain his laughter.

“It was one time!!” Taehyung playfully shoves him away, clearly embarrassed. “It’s not my fault my sleep paralysis demon told me to eat the 3 month old yogurt at like 2 am.” He grumbled,”Ugh, it’s not like I tell everyone about your weird impulses..”

You couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. Hobi notices and adds fuel to the fire,”Yeah, get a load of this guy. He’s blaming all of his mistakes on his sleep paralysis demon. Poor demon, honestly.”

Jimin continues to mock Taehyung teasingly, getting him worked up.“You know what??” Taehyung growls as he whips his head around to face you. His soft brown hair falls over his eyes, and his jaw is clenched as he looks at you with an emotion you can’t quite read. His face is flushed, but he tilts his head up in a cool manner. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he was serving up some bedroom eyes. 

He runs his fingers through his hair and speaks with a voice that oozes sex appeal without meaning to,“If you don’t know what to call me, just say Oppa.” Taehyung’s eyes widen as if he realized what came out of his mouth. He covers his lips with the palm of his hand and instinctively looked at how you’d react.

 It was your turn to flush from embarrassment. Before your brain could process what just happened, the words croak out,”..o..okay?” 

Hobi is choking on his sprite,”Damn, what the--” He continues to try and suppress his coughs,” Who the hell taught you that? Namjoon? Jin?” Hoseok shakes his head in disappointment. You thought it was because he ruined his drink, but then he said,” Ah, I told them to stop doing stuff like that.. If Yoongi were here he probably wouldn’t even know how to scold you.”

Jimin’s mouth is agape in shock. He suddenly doubles over the table, unable to contain the fit of laughter inside of him. “Wha- that was so smooth!” He’s holding onto his stomach for dear life, and his shoulders shake up and down. He gives suggestive eyebrows to Taehyung, whose ears are scorching red. “I didn’t know Taehyung was such a player.”

Taehyung is trying to hide himself with the sleeves of his hoodie. He’s silent at first, but eventually he speaks barely above a whisper. “...I don’t know what came over me..” His words tremble and tread lighter than a feather so scared it might step on another bomb.

"Was it your sleep paralysis demon?” You make a witty remark despite the blush dusted across your face. 

Tae sinks farther into his chair,” Oh my god...” He can’t help but laugh a little at your joke. “..Please forget about what I said today.” 

Jimin’s laughter dies down as he looks at you. His smile is soft and reassuring. “Don’t worry, Y/n. He’s usually not like this. I swear, we’re all gentlemen.” The bell suddenly rings, signaling that lunch was over. Jimin starts to clean up his spot, stuffing the unfinished bentos into his bag for later. “Ah, Taehyung, you’re saved by the bell this time, but next time you have got to show me some moves.” He winks before leaving for his next class.

Hoseok waves to you and Taehyung,” I’d walk with you two if I could, but my next class is across campus. I gotta dash, but good luck with Forensics!”

You’d almost forgotten about Forensics with Taehyung. Unfortunately, Tae seems to stay unmoving from his spot. You would be like that too if you were him, but you really can’t be late for class. It’s better if you approach him now rather than later, so it’s not as awkward during class. 

“Hey...” You start out. He doesn’t respond as his head is till buried in his arms. You hesitate at first, but you put your hand on his shoulder. “...Taehyung Oppa?” 

Immediately he shoots up, his eyes are wide and he’s as stiff as a board. He brushes your hand softly away and grabs his bag. He avoids your gaze as he packs up, but he returned his gaze when you started walking in the hallway. His eye’s remain forward, but he speaks to you,“...I didn’t think you’d actually call me that.” He chuckles. 

“Oppa?”

He rubs his hand across his face and he licks his lips,” Yeah, that.” He sneaks a glance at you, but since you were already looking at him, he turns his face away. 

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

-A/N-

oof it’s been AGES since my last bts fic. If y’all are following me bc of my text au, I’m going to try and update that soon too! I... did not expect to have such a flirtatious Taehyung,, but honestly I’m kinda into it. (  ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[malandi]

Self insert in interests time ^__^ I wrote about me and my siblings (mp100 fans gang) when we were at 14 years old and ranked which of the kids we'd be closest to and why! It's so interesting and fun to do this. I encourage u guys to try it out.

Results without analysis are:

Me: 1) Shou 2) Tome = Teru 3) Mob 4) Tsubomi 5) Ritsu

For context I was an autistic kid who got grouped with the pretty dancer girls regularly slutshamed by nuns who ran our school

My little sister: 1) Ritsu 2) Shou 3) Tsubomi 4) Mob 5) Tome 6) Teru

For context she's an overachiever and student leader, artist and athlete (undisputed arm wrestling champ, has abs). She fucking hates everyone but is fake about it. She's very petty and is out for blood regularly

My older sibling: 1) Mob 2) Ritsu 3) Tsubomi, Shou 4) Teru 5) Tome

For context they also hate everyone but they don't try to hide it. Judgmental and mean for fun. Well known for artistic skills and attractive face. Loner by choice. People are very scared of them and they enjoy that

Me at 14 y/o

Childlike. I had a slow maturity

Socially unaware, had difficulty reading social cues and realizing high school popularity politics

Friends with everyone because I didn't judge anyone

Tactless which is a double edged sword. I praised people as easily as I insulted them. Both of those were unintentional

default friend group: pretty dancer girls who nuns hated and thought of as dumb whores destined to be tumors in society

My friendship rankings:

Shou - most of my closest friends were the mature, responsible types who were very proactive. Yes athletic too (they play diff sports tho) but that's irrelevant. By "proactive" I mean they were always making plans and carrying them out. We went on a hunt for the best cheesecake in our town, for example. I felt closest to them because they treated me like an equal despite being slower than most of our peers. They listened to what I had to say even if I didn't make sense most of the time. THEYRE AWESOME! I LOVE YOU *** AND **** AND *** AND THE REST OF YOU❗❗

Tome = Teru - I always love and appreciate people who speak their minds. I struggled a lot with reading social cues. I still do but it was like hell when I was a kid, it drove me to tears. Tome and Teru being an open book would make me feel so comfortable with them. Since I'm as honest and tactless as they are I think we'll get along. We also have similar interests! Tome and I like games. Teru also has self-absorbed tendencies lol and I enjoy it when people like themselves so I'd have fun hyping him up when he does that.

Mob - I would feel very comfortable with Mob because of his maturity and kindness but I had insecurity when I was 14 and I would feel too dumb to spend time with him. He'd be someone I admired from afar. If we're talking about present me however, Mob would definitely be number one! Except I don't really hang out with kids which is why I aged myself down to 14 for this list.

Tsubomi - She'd be the one I spend the most time with since I was in the popular girls clique. I loved my friends very much and they took care of me. But I didn't feel like their equal. They were mature, talking about adult and scary occult stuff, so I always felt left behind. I would love Tsubomi too but I wouldn't feel comfortable with her, I'd feel like I'm too immature to keep her company.

Ritsu - Next to Tsubomi, he's the one I'd spend the most time with since I was always doing student leader responsibilities because my friends won't stop fucking voting for me! I had a civil and friendly relationship with the other student leaders but we always returned to our respective friend groups after our duties. I wouldn't be able to sense his fakeness so I wouldn't feel uncomfortable with him but he wouldn't cross my mind either.

My little sister at 14 y/o

One of the physically strongest in her batch (undisputed arm wrestling champion, volleyball spike of death)

Fake as fuck. Hates nearly everyone in her school but gets along with them to make life easier

Overachiever. Always on the honor roll as well as being artistic, athletic and a student leader. Loves every second of it

Petty. Eats jealous schoolmates for breakfast. Never forgets when someone wrongs her. Always out for blood

No such thing as freeloaders when you're in her group.

Lots of boys have crushes on her. Has them all ignored on messenger

Her friendship ranking:

Ritsu - She might relate more to Tsubomi but Tsubomi doesn't have the appropriate amount of bitterness and rage that would entice her. She would love to hang out with a fellow overachiever who is fake and hates everyone. Her need for trashtalking is insatiable. It would also do good for Ritsu to let off some steam by venting to her.

Shou - She'd fucking love Shou. Aside from their very similar interests, she always itches for competition as long as its respectful. She also appreciates people who don't hesitate like she does. When her peers act too pussy (her words) it just annoys her. She'd prefer the type of people who can make up their minds. She appreciates more people who flat out reject her invites instead of dancing around a decision for a week. Only problem is if Shou acts too clingy to her, she'd block his ass. Him being clingy is understandable bc of his fucked up childhood but also my little sister is also a kid who values her boundaries.

Tsubomi - my sister won't like how nice Tsubomi is but she'd respect it. Probably. She would definitely encourage her to go batshit. She's also down to bully relentless admirers for her. They have a lot in common so my sister would understand her situation better than most people and would try to help her out but only as much as tsubomi would let her.

Mob - She'd like mob a lot because he's genuine. She has a classmate she's very fond of who is very much like mob before he matured. She's always encouraging and supporting that kid. When she was president she rallied for the kid to be vice president and when he won, he took his position way too seriously which delighted her. She really likes humble, genuine people but i dont see her relying on him for anything which is why I don't think they'd be very close.

Tome - Tome is a slacker so she won't even register on my sister's social circle. If they became groupmates and Tome slacked off, they'd fucking fight for sure. But Tome still gets point for respect since she's strong-willed and speaks her mind.

Teru - honestly my sister is a judgmental bitch and if she sees how flashy and egoistic teru is she'd avoid him like the plague. When she gets to know him she'd be proven wrong of course but she doesn't really make an effort to get close to people she wasn't already close with since she met them

My older sibling at 14 y/o

Very mature and wise, very artistic, well-known for their talents

Also fucking hates everyone but doesn't try to hide it

Judgmental and mean for fun

Popular girls were scared shitless of them. Idk wtf they did

Ton of people crushed on them but were too scared to make a move. Sometimes I'd let them know and they'd only smirk

There was legitimately no one in middle school they liked. Up until high school and college too except for their girlfriend

Their friendship ranking:

Mob - no question. They like quiet and sincerity.

Ritsu - same reason as my little sister. He's quiet too which is a bonus

Shou, tsubomi - they'd have no opinion on them

Teru - they'd probably bully him ngl

Tome - they hate loud people

They honestly don't think of people unless it's too judge them so it's very short.

[greenapricot]

2019 fic year in review

Total number of completed stories: 18

Total word count: 53536

Fandoms written in: Lewis (15), Endeavour (2), Inspector Morse (1), Shetland (1), Victoria (1). (Those numbers don’t add up bc there’s a fic that is Lewis, Endeavour, and Inspector Morse all at once.)

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? More. I challenged myself to post a fic a month for 2019, so I had hoped to write 12 but hadn’t fully expected that I would. I’m very pleased with myself for having met that goal (even if I didn’t technically meet it bc I didn’t post fic in September, but I’m going to call 18 fics a win anyway).

What’s your own favorite story of the year? I’ve answered other fic memes during the year about my favorite and though I’ve written more fics since then I still think my favorite is A Man About to Fly (Lewis, James/Robbie, gen). It’s just got the most perfect atmosphere of delicate longing that feels so right to me in a way I can’t quite describe. I also think it’s the fic of mine that I’ve reread the most this year.

Did you take any writing risks this year? I would call it a risk, more of a stretch or a challenge to myself, but I wrote in two new fandoms, Shetland (No Holiday, Jimmy/Duncan, mature) and Victoria (Delayed Gratification, Palmerstons, mature). I hadn’t planned to write for either fandom but the ideas for those two stories just grabbed me and then I needed them to exist and so had no choice but to write them.

Also, writing Morris Dancers (Lewis, James/Robbie, teen) in @bryndeavour‘s Night Vale AU universe was a fun challenge with the radio format, getting the Night Vale tone right, and making it fit with the fic she’d already written.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? Now that I’ve proven to myself that I can write a lot of things in one year I want to write something long again. I have two casefics I’ve been poking at off and on for a while now. One in my Lewis wingfic universe and one that follows on from my other Lewis post-s9 fics. I think the wingfic one will end up happening first, even though I’ve had the idea for the other one for something like three years, mostly just because I’ve been having a lot of fun brainstorming casefic and wingfic universe ideas with @bryndeavour.

I also have two more parts to my Shetland fic planned and a couple of WIPs I’d like to finish. And, I just started three new prompt fics (one in a fandom I haven’t written in before). I’d like to finish and post them in the next week or so just to prove I can still write short quick things and also hopefully write something for the other prompts I got.

Most popular story of the year? By kudos, Misuse of Police Resources (Lewis, James/Robbie, explicit); by comments, Over the Edge (Lewis, James/Robbie, mature). Though Over the Edge will surpass Misuse in kudos at some point because it’s much more recent and has almost as many kudos.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Delayed Gratification (Victoria, Lady Palmerston/Lord Palmerston) and No Holiday (Shetland, Jimmy/Duncan). This is no surprise at all though because Delayed Gratification is an obscure pairing in a not terribly large fandom and Shetland fandom is very tiny. So they have the least kudos but I think they have been properly appreciated in the small spaces in which they exist. I think I would also add Overture (Lewis, James/Robbie/Laura, explicit) to this list, but again, it being explicit threesome fic I’m not super surprised it doesn’t have a ton of comments or kudos bc not everyone is into that.

Most fun story to write: Winter Wonderland (Lewis, James/Robbie, explicit) and Misuse of Police Resources (Lewis, James/Robbie, explicit). Both of these grew from convos in discord chat and I think that’s part of where the fun in writing came from, snickering to my self about how people were likely to react to certain lines and feeling very clever with my use of cliches.

Most unintentionally telling story: Evening the Odds (Lewis, James/Robbie, gen). My husband is older than me (though not as much of an age difference as Robbie and James) and I do have thoughts similar to James’ in this fic from time to time.

Biggest disappointment: Not posting a fic in September. Which I know is ridiculous bc I posted so much fic but I still think about it and am annoyed with myself.

Biggest surprise: That I met and exceeded my fic a month goal and that I wrote in new fandoms. I must say I’m pretty damn proud of myself for having written so much.

I’m not doing the tagging thing bc I’m just not but if you wrote things in 2019 and haven’t done one of these I think you should. :)

Full list of everything I wrote in 2019 in chronological order blow.

More than all the rest of the world - Lewis (TV) (235 words) James/Robbie - teen - Fluff, Established Relationship “I love you,” James says, pressing a kiss to Robbie’s navel.

Takes one to know one - Lewis (TV) (570 words) James/Robbie - general audiences - Established Relationship, Angst with a Happy Ending It was a stupid fight, it’s never anything but a stupid fight; the job getting to them and them taking it out on each other. Or the job getting to James and James taking it out on Robbie.

Now at the end of the day - Endeavour (TV) (389 words) Max/Morse - general audiences - Love Confessions When Morse walks into the morgue, Max is at the worktop under the windows performing his usual tidying up rituals.

His only remaining vice - Lewis (TV) (311 words) James/Robbie - general audiences - Established Relationship It is a Saturday, they don’t have a case and are down at the bottom of the rota; the day is miraculously their own. Yet they have ventured out into the bitter cold all same because James needs coffee and what they’ve got in the flat won’t do.

A Man About To Fly - Lewis (TV) (2524 words) James/Robbie - general audiences - Episode: s07e05-06 Intelligent Design parts 1-2, Angst with a hopeful ending James looks away from Lewis’ smile and takes another sip of his pint, but it’s not Lewis now, it’s Robbie. Robbie’s smile. To say the name aloud, to have Robbie smile at him like that when he does, is a gift. A gift James has received just in time for it to no longer be useful.

Evening the Odds - Lewis (TV) (605 words) James/Robbie  - general audiences - Established Relationship, Angst, Discussion of Mortality James is beautiful, a silhouette in the dark, light from the street lamp catching his hair in an almost halo and turning the smoke bright as it drifts above the garden wall; but the beauty of the moment doesn’t outweigh Robbie’s hope that the next time James tries to give up smoking it will stick.

Misuse of Police Resources - Lewis (TV) (4275 words) James/Robbie, Laura Hobson - explicit - Light Bondage, Masturbation He should have gone with rope, then he’d be able to untie himself, but he couldn’t quite maintain the fantasy of Lewis tying him up in intricate knots, except for how he’s always doing it unintentionally. James thumps his head back against the mattress in defeat. He’s not getting out of this on his own, he’s going to have to ring someone, and there are very few someones in his life.

Delayed Gratification - Victoria (TV) (1723 words) Lord Palmerston/Lady Palmerston - mature - Missing Scene, Episode 3x05 A Show of Unity Emily steps back, breaking the kiss, and Henry leans toward her making a low hum of protest. She takes his hand and leads him to her dressing room; their dressing room now that he has returned, as is their tradition. When they are together here in the castle away from parliamentary time pressure, they dress and undress each other.

Enkindled Spring - Lewis (TV) (4170 words) James/Robbie - teen - Established Relationship, Magical Realism, Wingfic, Alternate Universe, Fluff A large bird with a tail similar to a swallow is soaring overhead, James’ gaze hasn’t left it since he finished his sandwich. I wonder if he’s remembering how it feels to soar through the air, the sun warming his back and wings. It’s a sight I’d very much like to see.

Morris Dancers - Dreaming Spires Radio - Lewis (TV) (2872 words) James/Robbie - teen - Nightvale AU, Alternate Universe, Supernatural Elements Trees are in full bloom all across our fair city, filling the streets with the scent of their perfume and the edges of our peripheral vision with those familiar swirling shadows that can’t quite be seen no matter how fast you turn your head. Do not fear the shadows, they mean you no harm. Unless you have personally offended their families. This is Dreaming Spires Radio and I am, as always, your host, James Hathaway.

Overture - Lewis (TV) (5947 words) James/Laura/Robbie - explicit - Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Threesome The way they keep looking at him and at each other is enough to make a bloke think things that can’t possibly be true. If pressed Robbie would have to admit that the thought has crossed his mind; him and Laura, him and James, the three of them together, but it’s only ever been a thought, wank fodder, never a real possibility.

Aftermath - Lewis (TV) (1407 words) James/Robbie - teen - Angst with a Happy Ending, Love Confessions Robbie wakes to a steady beeping in a bed that’s not his own. He feels like he’s been hit by a lorry. Wait. He was. Or near enough, if it weren’t for James. James.

A storm that blackens the quiet sea - Lewis (TV) (727 words) James/Robbie - teen - Established Relationship, case-related angst James takes a long drag and leans against the wall, turning his face to the grey winter sky. It will be dark soon, they’ve been in court all day, yet it’s come to nothing. Less than nothing. He can’t keep letting cases get to him like this.

Even the weeds are green and flowering - Lewis (TV), Inspector Morse (TV), Endeavour (TV)) (2057 words) James/Robbie, Max/Morse - general audiences - Gardens & Gardening, Fluff, Established Relationship, Reminiscence Watching James at his careful work—snipping off a branch or two, stepping back to consider the bush as a whole, snipping another branch—brings to mind another garden, much better kept than Robbie’s poor neglected allotment. A garden with roses that weren’t altogether dissimilar to these.

No Holiday - Shetland (TV) (1539 words) Jimmy/Duncan - mature - Extended Scene, Episode: s05e05, Angst Duncan raises the bottle to Jimmy’s retreating back, looks up at the Merrie Dancers, and takes a hearty swig. There’s not quite enough whisky left to completely dull the echo of Jimmy’s words in his head, but he’ll give it a go.

In the forests of the night Lewis (TV) (6846 words) James/Robbie - teen - Magical Realism, Alternate Universe, Shapeshifters, Love Confessions “I’m fine, lad. You’re the one who’s in danger.” “From what?” James swings his arms out wide to encompass the empty moor in all directions. “We’re trained police officers and there’s no one else here.” “From me,” Robbie says. Whether or not there are other dangers out on the moor, the danger Robbie poses is worse. If James doesn’t get going soon there’s nothing Robbie’s going to be able to do to protect him.

Over the Edge - Lewis (TV) (11809 words) James/Robbie - mature - Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sharing a Bed, First Kiss Ignoring it then. James can do that. He can sit here while Lewis helps him on with the sling and not lean into his touch. He can get into bed once the sling is fastened and close his eyes and pretend the reason he’s breathing a bit heavier than normal is down to exhaustion and pain. It’s not untrue, even if it’s not the whole truth. He can accept the water and painkillers Lewis brings him, and not read anything into it when Lewis smooths the duvet over his chest and tells him to get some sleep. He can do that. He can close his eyes even though it’s not even properly dark yet and not think about the pain in his shoulder or the pain in his head or the pain of longing for Lewis to touch him and mean it. He can try to sleep.

Winter Wonderland - Lewis (TV)) (5530 words) James/Robbie - explicit - Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Romantic Cliches, Oral Sex, Fingerfucking, Only One Bed, but they never make it to the bed The radio has been going on about the unprecedented snowfall for the past two very slow hours of driving; two hours which would have been one without the snow. Astounding snowfall rates, the announcer keeps saying. What’s astounding is that they’ve made it here at all with how bad the roads are. What’s astounding is that Robbie has invited James on holiday. Not Laura, or Lyn, or anyone else, but James who he ought to have had enough of all day every day at work.

[kweebtrash]

Idk if you’ve ever answered this, but I’m curious, why do you bias Johnny so hard? Messy actually made me start paying attention to Johnny more and I don’t regret it lol so thanks.

Ok so I have answered this before but I can't for the life of me find where I put it in my asks so I'll just rewrite my essay here. Bare with me it's long lmao. I remember I wrote about some physical stuff I like about him but let's take it from the top lmao.

SO I went to kcon ny 18 and I was a avid listener of NCT but I didn't really know any of the members by name or face or anything. And of course Johnny was one of the hosts because he speaks English and I was trying to find my bias and I thought maybe I would like taeyong (ppfffttt lmao) but my friends friend (who is a very toxic and gross and mean to other idols/groups) is a ty Stan and basically said "no he's mine. You can't have him. Go after Johnny or something." And I DEADASS SAID "NO HES UGLY"

Yah I thought my whole ass man was uglee 😂😂😂😂

So anyway I think around Sept or October my friend was really into NCT and was helping me to learn them and I don't remember what made me love Johnny so much specifically but it just kinda clicked.

So after that I just started biasing him so hard, he became my ult bias, and I flew all the way to Chicago for the concert just to see him cry.

So the reasons why I like him include:

Physical: BIG TOL BOIIIII. I have a thing for tol dumb goofy idiots with deep voices and big hands. A lot of my biases are like this lmao. But also BIG HANDS. His voice isn't super deep but I find it to be a nice tone in his own way. He has this cute overbite also?? Like idk why it's cute but I think it is and it makes him suck in air alot when he talks and it adds to his little lisp. (Don't @ me, I have an oral fixation ok) his smile is the cutest and makes me seo soft UM THOSE LIPS??? HI HELLO. His big ass broad shoulders??? HIS CUTE LIL PEACH BUTT??? THOSE THIGHS???? He competed with shownu on lipstick prince in a thigh separating contest and they tied one to one and shownu said it was kinda hard to beat him so this boy got STONK THIGHS. CHERRY BOMB EMO UNDERCUT JOHNNY BEING THE SUPERIOR JOHNNY??? His eyes are the most gorgeous things ever and he's made me fall in love with brown eyes. His hair always looks so floofy and soft. (Also we cannon him as having a big dick so)

Personality: A BIG ASS FUCKING AQUARIUS. so he's basically a big soft teddy bear thats extremely goofy and klutzy (which is also a majority of my biases). He puts his heart and soul into dancing on stage and masters choreography so damn well but when he dances on his own he's just...a white suburban dad trying to fit in with his teenage sons. It's soooooo bad. I am in a constant rotation of disappointment, second hand embarrassment, soft gushy lovey dovey feelings, and horniness when it comes to Johnny Suh. He's so awkward and weird like all the time and im just like WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS PLEASE STOP. He's the most extra person and can't do anything normally and with all of that he never fails to make me laugh. He's the biggest dork to exist. Also he has the best duality of man ever. On stage and in super modelesque pictures and some MVs he looks like a daddy that will tear your ass up in a heartbeat and other times he's just like (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧ and the best uwu bean. He's literally so sweet and caring to people and so passionate about his hobbies (although he really like photography he's the worst fucking videographer ever and can't keep a camera still to save his life). He's a really great leader and his relationship with the others are so cute. Marks his brother, taeils his husband, Jae's his best friend, haechan and chenle are his sons, ten and ty have big ass gay love crushes on him (same sis). And it's all so precious. He's a big ass fucking Mama's boy and his relationship with his mom is the cutest thing ever. She loves her big ass baby so much and ME TOO MRS SUH ME TOO. He'd be the sweetest and dorkiest boyfriend ever and would always try and make you feel better when you're sad and make you laugh and give tons of hugs,kisses, and affection. And even tho us sluts categorize him as a big ass Dom he'd be really sweet in bed irl. He's just too much of a goofball to be any other way.

Career wise: well this one's hard because johfam suffer a lot when it comes to Johnny's talents. He's completely overlooked and forced to get one or two lines or some hype up chorus shit and it's really annoying but we find time to support him anyway. He has a really sweet soft voice and doesn't really have a big range like taeil but it's really nice none the less AND THEN THEY SLAP AUTOTUNE ON IT AND MAKE HIM SOUND FAKE. (See highway to heaven) he can play piano/keyboard and he's so good at it and I was at least happy that at their concert Johnny had a mini solo for the transition into regular where he got the spotlight and got to play the keyboard (cries forever). THEY DONT LET HIM DJ ANYMORE AND I DONT KNOW WHY HES SO CUTE WHEN HE DJS. BRING BACK DJ JOHNNY. Also he's supposed to be a rapper? Never raps? Supposed to be a lead dancer? Gets center for like 10 seconds. One day I hope he expands into other stuff though sm doesn't really let their idols do anything else (much). Like I think he'd make a good model. He knows how to take pics well. He walks well in heels believe it or not so maybe he won't completely fall on his face on the runway. Anyway let Johnny Suh have his moment to shine and showcase his talents bc sm thinks he ain't got any and wants him to suffer.

In summary he's just really sweet, kind, funny, and caring and hes talented but overlooked so we try and give him a lot of love and support.

Tl;Dr: Johnny's great. Stan Johnny.

[dixnysian]

[ park jimin. twenty-two. cis male. he/him. | muse 23b ] idontwannabeyouanymoreby billie eilish just came on the radio and it made me think of remi moon. they’ve been in sundance for five years and they’re currently a dancer/cirque performer. if you’re looking for them, try by hardcore fitness, locals say they’re there a lot. [ cece. she/her. 21+. cst. ] 

but firstly, hey. i’m cece and i’m very scared and excited to be here! i was initially just going to start with my teeny blond son here but there will be two more demons coming your way because i have no thing called self control. anyways, i’m in the cst timezone and i’ve got a full time job that for some reason allows me to be on tumblr dot com so don’t expect to get rid of me too easily. like this post to plot with remi and stay tuned for further bad intros from urs truly!

tw disordered eating / exercise addiction , body image

spent the first 15 or so years of his life in south korea, training in dance & actually wanted to be an idol!

he had a supportive but somewhat strict family who wanted to see him achieve his dreams and so they pushed him, but only as hard as they thought he could handle. good people with good intentions.

he also studied english diligently and worked hard at his vocals because they weren’t his strongest point. he’s also his own worst critic and a perfectionist to a fault which will come to bite him in the ass

was actually accepted as a trainee and lauded for his wicked flexibility and dancing skills! but it was the start of a very swift downfall of sorts. given the encouragement and validation of a company, he overworked himself in the path towards debuting. 

the idol lifestyle can be a toxic one if not handled properly -- the constant pressure of having a certain image and dieting to maintain it -- and remi was a victim of it. one of several collapses eventually led to his discharge from the company, understanding he was taking his diet & exercise too far and that to continue wouldn’t be healthy for him. 

he was sent to a program in the states to get him as far away from the spotlight as possible and for a few years, he faded into obscurity. at 17, he signed himself out of the program and decided to stay in the us full time. 

the vibe of a completely different country was helping him shake off the depression that had come from dashing his idol dreams but also, like, the sense of independence made him feel like he was in control!

and began traning for a different way of using his dance.

kind of jumped from one intense interest into another and began training to be a cirque performer. again, that flexibility and whatnot came into play and he excelled quickly. chose sundance for its proximity to las vegas, obviously, and has been there ever since.

does street performances of his dance for extra cash bc he’s not making a ton yet 

i wouldn’t say he’s fully recovered but he’s doing better -- a lot of it has just switched more to a focus on working out and staying super in shape. his personality -- which had gotten lost somewhere in the shuffle -- was finally starting to blossom.

which, speaking of, personality wise, remi is super friendly but guarded. like he’ll make tons of surface level friends but only let a few in super close. he comes across very soft in that he’s a tiny dyed blond bendy little thing who likes to hide in oversized pastel sweaters even in the heat of the las vegas desert but y’know, he’s always cold so its fiiiine. 

don’t be fooled though, he’s not an actual angel. he can be bratty, particular, stubborn and holds grudges like a CHAMP. his perfectionist tendencies come out in that he wants to surround himself with perfect people so he gets whiny when things aren’t going his way. a lot of people find it endearing; a lot of people don’t. 

loves to go out and have a good time. dance and music are still in his blood and despite it being literally what he does for a living, it’s what he does in his free time too.

a little... free-wheeling shall we say once he’s had some alcohol in him. it’s all bets are off. a nightmareish lightweight who surrounds himself with party people who help him make many bad decisions. 

loves one night stands but also has a soft spot for being in love. like he doesn’t quite think he’s worthy of it but he had a brief stint in his rehab program and then maybe one other boyfriend once he moved out on his own.

SUMMARY: he’s an entry level performer (so not making too much but is on the career path to do what he loves) who is determined to climb to the top. very friendly but also keeps a lot of secrets in his bleached blond hair like, you’ll be friends for years and never know that remi isn’t even his real name. loves to be the center of attention but get’s self critical under the spotlight. literally his own worst enemy. oh yeah, and now he’s got a husband that he hATES. 

plot ideas

art hoes -- music, visuals, film etc

best friend from the subplot PLEASE 

party squad

bad influence but not in the devil on his shoulder, more like mutually make bad decisions

the ex from rehab 

the more recent ex boyf

anyone else annoyed with his childish whiny habits

alternatively someone super endeared by them ^

protective friendship

girl squad / sleepover crew to talk about boys

someone (1) who does know about his kidol past

um

neighbors? idk where he’s living now do u have to live with ur husband remi hopes not

one night stands

that’s all for now folks!