#i thought i'd be writing the same fic *but nope!!*

[nekoprankster218]

The experience when writing 25 Years: Hehe what a situation

The experience writing the new trope remix: Oh fuck what a situation

[strang3lov3]

I'M SO PROUD OF YOU, 5K??? THAT'S SO MANY PEOPLE I'd be scared being in a room with 5k people

anyway I wanna send you some 🍆 horny old man head cannons and it's gonna give you a throwback to how we met HAH.

We've had this conversation some time ago, but: JIM FUCKING HOPPER

horny thoughts I have about him:

I don‘t know if you remember that one Jopper fan art where Joyce's on top and Hop just looks SMITTEN

definitely loves having his girl riding him (maybe not all the time though?)

and definitely grabs your hips with his huge hands to guide you

or your boobs, but mostly your hips

lots of eye contact

maybe sometimes gets your focus back on him with a little "eyes on me"

loves when you support yourself on his pecs, loves feeling your nails dig into his skin when he hits that sweet spot

isn't very vocal, he's just focusing on the feeling and watching you

you do hear him pant every now and then or like suppressing a moan/growl

calls you a dirty girl, but in an encouraging way, just letting you take what you need

lets out a single husky moan/growl when he's finishing, and it gets you every. time.

other thoughts/random things that get him riled up:

watching you take a drag from his cigarette while you keep eye contact

you standing up for yourself (or even him) when someone gives you/him shit

I can't think of more rn I'll know where to find you if I have more thoughts

OKAY BYE I LOVE YOU MWUAH

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ITS STILL YOUR BIRTHDAY FOR ME SO IM POSTING NOW!

Ohhhh man. Yup, just last year I was all bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to grab fic writing by the balls and write my first dilf love, Jim Hopper. And I tried it. And I fucking sucked at it. And then you said hey are you ever gonna write my request? And I was like lol nope. Remember when you sent me a request that I completely changed and made it for Joel instead 😭 or how you’d read all my fics before I posted them and leave the most horny and loving comments on the doc 😭😭🩷🩷🩷 I love you so much. You’re the very first friend I made on tumblr and I will cherish you forever.

You know what I think about Hopper? I think he loves eating pussy, sure. But there is nothing in this world this man loves more than a blowjob. I’m sure of it.

Think about it. You’re driving along the backroads, going way too fucking fast and Hop pulls you over. He’s warned you before, so this time you get a ticket. And you really can’t afford that right now.

You drop to your knees, fumbling with his belt buckle and he asks if you’re trying to bribe a cop. Of course not, you tell him.

Hopper unbuckles his belt the rest of the way before pulling his semi-hard cock out, grinning down at you because it’s his lucky day. You’re gonna suck his dick and he doesn’t have to do any paperwork from giving you a ticket. Score!

You wrap your hand around the base of his cock, Hopper sighs and leans his head back against your car. He keeps a steady hand on your head as the head of his cock parts your lips and you swirl your tongue around that perfect part of him. He tastes sweaty and masculine, just like you’ve imagined. And oh, have you imagined it.

His cock fills your mouth perfectly, you trace your tongue along his thick, protruding veins. “Takin’ it so good, sweetheart,” he tells you, jutting his hips forward and inching himself down your throat. Your nose buried in that patch of thick curls, he loves the way you look at him from below, the same look every woman gives him when he fucks her mouth. All wide eyed and teary with the ache, so eager to please him. “Such a good girl.” He comes with a deep groan, painting your tongue with his hot spend. You take it all, just like you’re meant to.

Hopper’s a gentleman and helps you to your feet, rips up the ticket he wrote and sends you on your way. You never do quite learn your lesson and slow down, not when speeding in your car can be rewarded with his cock in your mouth.

[venus-haze]

Writer Tag

Thank you so much for tagging me @frstcorinthians🖤

Just a "proceed with caution" on the fics I've linked on this list. Plenty of detailed warnings!

How many works do you have on AO3? 42

What's your total AO3 word count? 178k

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

3 out of 5 are Homelander fics🤭

My Destruction Is an Hour Late (my first Homelander fic🥲)

She's Out To Please, She Pouts Her Best (Soldier Boy x Reader)

Bruised Fruit (Michael Corleone x OC, an honor that it’s even on this list)

Got No Reason To Run (Homelander x Reader)

Baby Let's Play House (Homelander x Reader)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Always! I appreciate every single one so much!

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Definitely Sinnerman, I need to write more for Midnight Mass. There's so much potential there.

What’s the fic you've written with the happiest ending? I think Eat Your Heart Out...

Do you write crossovers? No, I haven't.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? No, which is shocking considering what I write about.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? The kind that usually requires a lot of trigger warnings.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, I couldn't with my schedule.

What's your all-time favorite ship? I absolutely love the way Minxie @cherubgore writes Vincent/Paige! Rarepair forever🖤

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? None I can think of. I mostly write standalone fics, and I know I'm gonna finish Bruised Fruit at some point. Usually my WIPs change over time so they might not look the same as when I started, but they end up getting posted eventually.

What are your writing strengths? I don't know…I've been told I'm good at bringing the reader into a fic, so I guess building settings and scenes, which makes sense considering I write mostly readerfics and the immersion aspect is the backbone of that.

What are your writing weaknesses? My writing is more straightforward and doesn't use a lot of poetic style, which is something I wish I were better at. I don't think I write individual sentences that "wow" a reader, you know?

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I do not trust Google Translate and will not walk around with egg on my face. I just use italics to indicate speaking in another language, on the off occasion that's included in my fics. Or like with Bruised Fruit, Gloria doesn't speak Italian, so part of portraying that involves her asking people what they said and hoping they're telling the truth or trying to figure out based on her interpretation of their tone and body language.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? The Outsiders! I was so upset about the ending that I wrote many fics on Quizilla where Johnny and Dally lived.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? I'd like to write something for Justified, but I need to rewatch again.

What's your favorite fic you've written? That's so tough...maybe Howl.

No pressure tags: @cherubgore @zaras-really-dreamless @shoshiwrites @blurredcolour @blindmagdalena @sehtoast @flaggermuser @zepskies (please make a new post, don't reblog)

[k2ntwo]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

A bunch of writers that I follow have already been tagged and responded @helloliriels @khorazir @7-percent @discordantwords @totallysilvergirl to name just a few. Now I have a few new things to read that I somehow missed the first time around as well as a bunch of old favorites to go and re-read. So much good fic is out there by so many talented writers!

In the spirit of adding to folk’s ever growing MFL list I’ll just pile onto the bandwagon with my answers as well.

 1.  How many works to you have on AO3?

56 although there are several collections of snippets that technically could be counted separately. On AO3 I'm KtwoNtwo.

2.  What’s your total AO3 word count?

496,860

3.  What fandoms do you write for?

Primarily Sherlock Holmes (most all iterations from ACD to Sherlock) and James Bond.  However, I dabble in a good number of other fandoms upon occasion.

4.  What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Metamorphosis

Conversations from Q-Branch

50 Reasons (The Q-Branch Edition)

A Rare Breed

Brothers Three

5.  Do you respond to comments?

Yes, even if its just a “I’m glad you liked it.”  The only ones I don’t respond to are the generic solicitations to join some random contest or fic publishing website.  Those get blocked and reported.

6.  What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Well, I don’t really write major angst but The Four Riders has got a bit as does the poem Gun in the Drawer though they both end on a hopeful note.

7.  What’s the Fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have happy endings but probably A Toast to the Science of Deduction resolves the happiest of the lot.

8.  Do you get hate on fics.

Nope.  Only got one anonymous troll alleging trademark infringement due to a title.  I fired back a factual rebuttal: basically "there is no book by that name by that author, there is no lawyer by that name, you didn’t provide contact information and btw trademark doesn’t work the way you allege" then added a set of quotation marks to the title.  Never heard anything more about it.

9.  Do you write smut?

I have but I’m not terribly good at it.  Most of the time the characters look at me then politely, or not so politely, shut the bedroom door in my face.

10.  Do you write crossovers?

Oh God Yes!  Technically I think I write fusions, where both fandoms end up in the same universe, as opposed to crossovers but I’m rather unclear on the difference between same so I tend to just call 'em crossovers and leave it at that. 

11.  Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I could find or prove.  I did have a couple of strange search results pop up with my use name and some fic titles attached but the websites all seem to be defunct now.

12.  Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge.

13.  Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.

14.  What’s your favorite ship?

Sherlock Holmes/John Watson

15.  What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

There’s a fic based on a song by Abney Park that I’ve got an outline for but it never seems to go anywhere.

16.  What are your writing strengths?

I can merge and/or crossover all sorts of different fandoms. 

17.  What are your writing weaknesses?

Typos and punctuation.  Being slightly dyslexic I can’t spot the former and I never know if I’m using commas correctly or not.

18.  Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I actively avoid doing so because I’d butcher it badly.

19.  First fandom you wrote for?

Emperor’s Edge by Lindsay Buroker.  I will admit that I wrote in my head, but never got around to put on paper, a number of Star Trek stories when I was significantly younger.

20.  Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

I like all of them for different reasons.  The one I’m most proud of however is The Emerald Falls my Study in Emerald inspired ACD Fic.

I'd love to have some of the artists/podcasters respond to this with whatever modifications are necessary to fit the medium involved. Hours of podcast or number of artworks as opposed to number of words for example. @podfixx @bluebellofbakerstreet if you haven't responded to this thing already and I just missed it.

[assorted-candy]

20 Q's for Fic Writers

I got tagged by @dp-marvel94! Thank you!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 

I've just posted my 22nd work a few days ago!

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

37,763

3. What fandoms do you write for?

So far, all my published fics are for Danny Phantom. It's a fandom that's near and dear to my heart and my favorite to write for. I've written fanfiction for myself in a lot of different fandoms over the years. Miraculous Ladybug, Mega Man (Star Force, Battle Network) and Fire Emblem are a few. (Will these ever see the light of day? Probs not, lol)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?  5. Frayed Ends - 37 kudos - Jazz and Maddie are fighting more often. Jack wants to reach out and help his family. 4. The Same Blood - 45 kudos - Maddie and Jack try to help a sick girl that collapsed in front of their house. They don't know what to make of her condition. Danny wants to help.

3. Returned Home - 49 kudos - Maddie finds Danny at home after he disappeared ten months ago.

2. The Broken Pieces Left Behind - 66 kudos (tie) - Maddie knew what the portal did to Danny. If she could create something that essentially turned him into a ghost, she could figure out a way to fix all of it. Even if she hasn't made any progress in the past two months, she'll keep trying. She didn't account for what Danny wanted. 1 . What's Out of Out Control - 66 kudos (tie) - Danny thought he had it under control. He thought he could finally hang out like they used to always do. Tucker could feel the rift between them widening. It wasn't getting smaller anytime soon.

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! There were a few comments from my two earlier fics that I never responded to and it's already been so long and I feel like I ended up putting it off too long to say anything now 😓But I'm so so thankful for all the comments I receive! I never thought anyone would read my work, let alone comment on it. I'm always between two modes of 'author commentary' and 'screaming thank you and running away'.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Lol, I love my angsty stuff and there are so many different flavors of angst, so it's hard to pick just one. I'd say the piece I aimed to write for Angst Fest, The Broken Pieces Left Behind, might be it. It ends on a rather hopeless note for the Fenton family that even I don't know how to make everything better for them

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Home for a Cat. It was for a Ectoberhaunt prompt that I was absolutely stumped on. So I decided someone was going to adopt a cat by the end of the fic.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Ahh, so I actually posted a fic on FFN wayyy back when I was in high school. I remember it being received pretty well but I got a really rude comment on a simple spelling mistake. Back then, I was just told I had dyslexia a few years prior and I had some really bad self-esteem issues tied in with that. So, yeah, that comment basically made me terrified to ever show my work to anyone ever.

It's been over ten years since then and I wanted to actually get over that fear. I impulsively decided to do Angst Fest with the mindset that no one would even look at what I posted. Not only did people look, everyone has been so kind!!!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

lkdajldkf, nope. I get flustered trying to write basic romance and having two characters hold hands, lmao. Major props to those that can, it's definitely a skill that takes time to master just like any other genre.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I haven't.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Also haven't had this either.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, but it seems like a lot of fun.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Back when the show was airing, Amethyst Ocean (Danny/Sam) was my go to. I'm a sucker for friends to lovers tropes and it's really nostalgic for me. But, I don't really read a lot of shippy things for Danny Phantom, so ships don't make or break a fic for me.

If I'm looking to read romance, the whole Love Square (MariChat my beloved) with Miraculous Ladybug will always be great. Even if I jumped ship on the show around season 2 or 3 and I have no clue what they're doing now, lol.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I honestly have so many WIPs that are unfinished on my computer from over the years. Maybe a super old one that I titled 'Phantoms in the Daylight'. Angst once more with Character Death as the main pain point. I like the beginning but oh boy, does it get sloppy and confusing real quick. I'd need serious outlining energy put into it if I'd ever want to salvage it and I just don't have it in me.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue! Give me two blorbos and I'll make them talk forever.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Scenery and description. I love the dialogue portion so much that I end up running into the floating heads in an empty room problem in the first drafts of my fics. My first round of edits are dedicated to making sure I have a scene and grounding characters into it. And then I have to go back later to make it not feel so robotic sounding.

(Also a weakness but more as in fic than writing. Summaries and Titles. I stare at my drafts on AO3's editor for at least half an hour trying to pull something together, lol)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I can probably talk about this for hours, lol. I absolutely love foreign languages, especially when it comes to linguistics. So, I'll try to be brief, lmao. Short answer: depends on the fic but normally no. I already spend so much time fussing over the word choice/slang/formality/dialect characters use in my native language. I don't have a good enough grasp on another language for it to sound natural to the reader. ("They would not fucking say that" is my internal monologue during dialogue edits, lol)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

It's a toss up between Pokemon and Danny Phantom. I first learned about fanfiction from a friend who showed me FFN for the Pokemon fics. I looked around the site and found all of the Danny Phantom fics soon after and got hooked on those. I started writing around then and it would have been for one of those two.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Hard to chose one! Writing technicality wise, I'm proud of how What Remains on the Table turned out. I consider description my weak point, so the original draft was 0 dialogue with very stiff descriptions. I was able to edit it to really practice my environmental storytelling. (Although, please mind the tags if you click the link as it does deal with the dissection topic)

I'm not sure who's been tagged and I'm not sure who writes fanfic, so @lavendarlily, @fangirlwriting-stories, @grub-xd, @nanaarchy and anyone else that wants to join!

[unpredictable-probabilities]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Tagged by @dandywonderous

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

19. I'm fairly new to fanfics, I only started reading and writing them in 2020.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

356,543

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I'm currently writing for The Sandman, but most of my works and my WIPs are for Twisted Wonderland, and I had written one chapter of a fic for Love Never Dies.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Granting Favors (Twisted Wonderland) 2. The Two Princes (Twisted Wonderland) 3. A Way In (Twisted Wonderland) 4. Tomorrows Over Centuries (The Sandman) 5. Post-Gala Celebration (Twisted Wonderland)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I love interacting with my readers in the comments section~ Sometimes it takes me days to respond sdkjfkdslfj but I do respond! And I'm trying to make a habit of replying sooner.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm, I always write happy endings, but currently The Repertoire Continues (Love Never Dies) and A Dragon's Soft Spot (Twisted Wonderland) have angsty endings, but only because so far I've only written their first chapters 😅

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Tomorrows Over Centuries (The Sandman). Mostly because almost the entire fic is the characters just having a fun time. (Also it's Explicit because of the third chapter, just a heads-up in case you wanna check it out.)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

So far no. I'm actually low-key scared of getting some, haha.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yup. All smut I write have a lot of Feelings, even if there's no plot to the fic. It's always romantic smut. It's just fun to write.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

So far no. Though I really wanna write a The Sandman and Good Omens crossover someday. The idea itself is a bit daunting for me, haha, but I've read a fic with that crossover, and I genuinely wanna attempt it myself.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, that would be super cool, though.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, I've co-written a few fics with @patchyegg87~

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Dream of the Endless/Hob Gadling (The Sandman) Azul Ashengrotto/Jamil Viper (Twisted Wonderland) is a close second!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I would like to believe that I can finish all of my WIPs, haha. But the one that would probably take the longest to finish is The Repertoire Continues (Love Never Dies), which I realize is ironic given the title alskjdfsldf. I rarely see any other content from the fandom so my brainworms for it don't get activated. I would still like to finish it someday, though.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and emotions. Character voice is one of my favorite things to write, discovering how different characters would have various reactions to the same situation. I've often had to modify outlines because I'd realize that the original flow of the scenes didn't make sense anymore because the characters' reactions wouldn't lead them to that outcome. And bringing emotions out of characters is fun too, especially the stoic and tsundere characters. It's why I like writing Hurt/Comfort, haha.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Writing descriptions for places, outfits, and food 😣 Especially places. I have a hard time imagining what a place might look like. That's usually what I ask @patchyegg87 for help with when we co-write fics. And she has recently taught me how to use Pinterest as a reference when writing descriptions for stuff, and I'd been practicing that. I really wanna get better at writing visual descriptions, it's always so cool when I read a fic that has such vivid imagery.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I have no problem with it. The very first fic I'd written, A Rival in Scarlet (Twisted Wonderland), has some French sentences in it that were translated into English when the POV switched to the French speaker's. Fanfics are for having fun, and sometimes part of that is incorporating another language you know or are trying to learn~

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Twisted Wonderland

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Ooh, I don't know, that's a hard one. Granting Favors (Twisted Wonderland) would always have a special place in my heart because it's my first multi-chapter fic and I honed much of my writing skills in that one. "I Do": The Long-Term Deal (Twisted Wonderland) is also very fun to write and that's the fic where I really learned to write character voice well because it's post-canon and the characters have aged a few years, and it was fun to figure out how they had changed in that time while retaining their core personalities. And of course Tomorrows Over Centuries (The Sandman). I'd read a lot of Dreamling fics before writing that one, and I was so happy to finish a Dreamling fic of my own. I love them, Your Honor.

Tagging:

@patchyegg87

@signiorbenedickofpadua

@cerealmonster15

@hardly-an-escape

@beatnikfreakiswriting

@takohebi

and anyone else who wants to do this!

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

A Strange Sort of Family

hi, resident evil fandom, i'd like to throw my hat in the ring

look, i don't even really go here, the fandom mold just got into my brain and would not fucking leave. this is my first time writing any of these characters so if they feel a bit rocky, please forgive me. my media analysis brain has been spinning nonstop since we started the resident evil brain rot and ho boy would I love to sink my teeth into a proper horror fic but! i don't know if i'm there yet so i figured i'd start a bit easier for me :)

also--we all know there's no way ethan's just gone from the franchise now, right? like, sure, he's dead, but he died like 30 minutes into re7 and that didn't fucking stop him

ALSO also big shoutout to @dragonsareaqueerthing and @greenninjagal-blog for the encouragement to actaully make the words go :) hopefully i'll be spending more time in this fandom now that I've got that ball rolling

Read on Ao3

Warnings: talk about events of shadows of rose dlc, nothing explicit, bullying

Pairings: implied ethan/mia/chris, but Ethan & Rose is the focus

Word Count: 10,919

You'd think after about 16 years of being treated like a child and the most powerful bioweapon the world has ever seen, you might get used to it.

Nope!

Not even slightly.

Sometimes a family is a molded bioweapon, a traumatized agent, a former bioterrorist, and a series of golden, sparkly words. Sometimes family is decorating your room with your mother, sometimes family is hugging a pillow because your dad isn't here anymore. Sometimes family is training too hard and going out for ice cream, sometimes family is a dinner where your parents won't stop teasing you.

Or, five times Ethan Winters was there for his daughter, and one time Rosemary Winters was there for her father.

1.

You'd think after about 16 years of being treated like a child and the most powerful bioweapon the world has ever seen, you might get used to it.

Nope!

Not even slightly.

Okay, well, maybe slightly, but only in the way she's able to shake off some of the lesser things that would've made her really upset before. She's no longer threatening the lives of the agents that call her Eveline, to her face or behind her back when they think she can't hear them. Even when she really, really wants to. Small victories.

But despite her best efforts, she still returns to the cell block of a room—Chris had been so insistent that it wasn't a cell, but it was all concrete walls and a tiny window and a camera that she knows is in the corner—and curls up on her bed, jamming her headphones in and refusing to engage with the outside world until she could summon up the resolve to impersonate a normal person again.

Today had been no exception.

Rose throws her backpack onto her desk chair and slings her hat over the hook, kicking her shoes off and collapsing face-first onto the bed with a groan. More tests today, always more fucking tests. Didn't they have every inch of her shitty, moldy body cataloged by now? She has half a mind to start making shit up when they ask her the same stupid questions. 'How are you feeling today, Rose?' Oh, you know, just getting stuck with more needles than a fucking porcupine, how do you fucking think I'm feeling? Yeah, no, no homicidal instincts yet, just had one murderous thought the other day when I was imagining mold eating the bitch who called me a charity case. Although I did go to the park after I snuck away from that asshole you have tailing me on Tuesdays to see if I could amass a mushroom army, how was your day?

A small laugh leaves her throat at the thought of the doctor's face if she actually did say that, but then she'd probably have two assholes tailing her until they deemed her 'no longer a risk.' God, they were supposed to be these super highly trained agents, then why the fuck do they suck ass at being subtle?

Turns out, even having mold superpowers means she still has to breathe like a normal person, so she drags her face up from the bed and doesn't even bother to fully get up to inchworm up to the pillows. She mashes her face against the slightly cold surface—honestly, the best part about this prison-cell-ass room was that the air conditioning was always on Arctic, so her pillows were always cold—and grabs her phone, squinting at the notifications.

One from school saying her group project deadline was coming up…something from some shopping website she'd logged onto out of pure boredom three weeks ago…and a text from Chris.

Rose sits up a little more and opens the text. "Overseas this week…sorry I'll miss the—you fucking dick!"

Of course Chris is working this weekend, of course he's not gonna be fucking here to take her to the cemetery—great, that means another two hours of bus rides until she can actually go see her dad. She swears he does this on purpose sometimes, how often does he actually need to go overseas for 'work?' And it's not like anyone else here would be able to take her, she's learned her fucking lesson about asking them for anything more than more fucking food. Not bothering to stifle her groan, she flops back onto the bed, only for her phone to clatter out of her hand and onto the floor.

Great. Now she has to move again to pick it up.

She decides that moving is actually not what she's going to do right now, letting one arm hang over the edge of the bed, her cheek scrunched awkwardly against the lip of the mattress. She tucks her face against the collar of her jacket and rubs her thumb against the ring on her finger.

"Sorry it's gonna take me longer," she mumbles, "I really wanted to spend longer with you this time."

Her eyes widen when gold sparkling words appear on the floor next to her phone.

it's okay

"What the—" she whips around to look at the door, closed tightly, and jerks back— "how—"

The words are still there. The words are still etched into the floor, right next to her phone. She should check if they're on the camera—no, they can fucking hack into her phone whenever they want, and she doesn't—she can't—if this really is—

Rose swallows the lump in her throat as the words shift and change.

you ok?

"I—what—how are—" she swallows again, camera in the corner of the room, "uh, M-Michael?"

A pause as the words reform: sure

"I mean, I—I know," she says quickly, "I know what—I know what this is, I…I remember, it's just…"

camera, I know

"How is this possible?" she whispers, not daring to move from her haphazard scramble up the bed, "I thought you were—I mean, at the end, when we, uh, did the thing, it seemed like you were…that you were going again."

The words sparkle again as she grips the sleeve of her jacket—his jacket.

apparently i'm bad at it

"Bad at what?"

staying dead

Another laugh chokes its way out of her throat and she reaches out without thinking about it, just to touch the words. They glow a little bit brighter as she touches them and the tips of her fingers glow. Almost as an afterthought, she grabs her phone and shoves it behind her, hopefully muffling the microphone and at the very least, getting its cameras away from her dad.

Her dad. Those are her dad's words, that's her dad, he's here, he's here.

"Are you—is this…are you really here?"

sort of, as the golden words swirl around, part of you

"What do you mean, 'part of me?'"

not a scientist

"You're the only other m—person like me I know, I'm sure it'll be fine." She can almost hear the little huff of laughter as the golden sparkles swirl again. It seems like it's the same as it was when she was in there, with her dad only able to say a few words at a time.

i'm part of the mold, just like you, we're sharing a part right now

"Are you always sharing a part with me?"

i wish i could, and she feels her chest hurt a little bit, takes energy

"I guess that makes sense." Her arm begins to ache from being so stretched out. "I really miss you."

i miss you too sweetie

Fuck, she's 16, she should not be getting this choked up over her dad calling her 'sweetie,' but fuck it, she's a mold person and her dad's dead, she's allowed to sniffle a little when those words glow warmly under her fingers. Some hysterical part of her wonders if he'd be able to give her a tissue or a hanky the way he gave her guns and chem fluid in there, but she scrubs at her nose with her sleeve and decides that it's enough right now that he's here, in her room, still calling her sweetie.

***

2.

She almost recognizes it the second time, a tug in her gut. Given that she's got her hands over her face and is currently doing a fabulous impression of an angry seal, it'd be harder for her to see it. Still, she can't help the dumb smile on her face when she rolls over.

bad day?

"Oh, you know," she mumbles, "just your average day of being a human guinea pig."

ew

She snorts, clapping a hand over her mouth to muffle it. "You know I get a look at their notes sometimes? That's what they call you, just your initials."

surprised they're still talking about me

"What do you mean? Of course they're still talking about you, you're the—" she cuts herself off. The golden sparkles swirl.

i'm the what?

"Never mind."

The floorboards wait expectantly, but she twists the ring around her finger, chewing on her lip. After another moment, new words appear.

can i help?

"With what? With the tests?"

with you

Another tug in her gut, this time at the fact that she can't actually remember the last time someone asked after her, not their biggest liability or their most dangerous weapon. She props herself up on the cold pillows—thank you, government AC—and sighs. "I'm just really tired."

i bet

"Like—are they bored? What do they get out of sticking me with the same needle fifty different times? And it's not like they talk to me about anything, they just look at each other and then fake-smile at me and they tell me 'you're doing great,' like I'm supposed to know what that means. And the other people aren't any better! They keep trying to train me how to do a thing but they're not—it's not like they tell me why we're doing something or what I'm supposed to be doing instead, they just tell me I'm wrong and that's it."

that sucks

She huffs. "You have no idea."

After a moment, though, she realizes that might not actually be true. From what little she's actually managed to get Chris to tell her, and what she can learn from Mom, they were both held in BSAA's quarantine for ages before they moved over to Romania. And if Mom knew about Dad's…not-aliveness way before he did, then they must've done some sort of tests on him too.

"Can I ask you something?"

anything

"Did they, um, did they test you too?"

The floorboards stay empty for a minute, but it feels more like he's thinking than it does him avoiding the question. Sure enough, after another moment, words start appearing again.

they did, they didn't tell me anything either, just that i was lucky

"Lucky how?"

to have made it, even when i didn't

"You did, though," she mumbles, fiddling with the ring again, "you—this part of you made it. Chris told me, Mom told me. You…even after you were…gone the first time, you…you came back. The important parts of you, they came back."

and i'm grateful for it, for you

"You're gonna make me cry," she mutters, scrunching up a little tighter.

i love you Rosie

"Shut up." It's empty and they both know it. A few extra sparkles swirl around and she could swear he's laughing. "I love you too."

Sunlight streams in through her tiny window and she finds herself looking at the way the leaves on the tree dapple the shadow across the floor. Part of her dad's words are still glowing. She looks at the nightstand, bare except for her charger and alarm clock, then over at the desk where her school stuff is, then at the dresser. She reaches out and touches the metal bedframe. It's cold underneath her fingers.

what's wrong?

"Nothing." The words remain and she sighs. "I'm just being mopey."

you're allowed to mope

"Someone at school said something today," she says before she can think better of it, and she winces at how young she sounds.

bullies?

"Not really, it wasn't even really about me, I just—it's stupid."

if you're upset it's not stupid

"They were just talking about this thing they got for their room, okay?" Embarrassment makes her curl her fingers into the loose fabric of her jacket. "It's this mirror thing that hooks up to your phone and lets you play music and stuff from there. They were just talking about it and I thought—see, I told you it was stupid."

There's another pause. The breeze rustles the leaves outside. The shadows dance over the walls.

do you want it?

"Not really…I don't like mirrors that much anyway. And it's not like they'd let me just have another thing that connects to the Internet in here." She glances at the alarm clock. "I barely got them to let me get a laptop for school stuff. I don't think they've got a 'Mold Bioweapon Allowance' in their budget."

The silence grows thoughtful. She turns her head to look at the floorboards again, watching the few sparkles there swirl around.

it's your room, they say finally, it should feel like it

Rose scoffs. "What am I supposed to do, walk up and ask them to sponsor a shopping trip?"

why not?

"They're not gonna do that. They're just gonna brush me off again or tell me they're busy."

you've tried?

"I told you, I barely managed to get a laptop, which is something I need to be able to do schoolwork or anything, even have a taste of what being normal is like. And even then I had to argue for like, ages, and I had to get one of my teachers to write an email saying that it's necessary." She swats the white pillowcase, bitterness seeping into her words. "Everything else isn't necessary. They're all about practicality, like I'm just some other expense they have to deal with."

what about Chris? or Mom?

"Chris isn't here. He's always off somewhere doing something or he's here glaring at me like I'm some stupid new recruit that he doesn't want to have to train. And Mom's…I don't want to bother her, you know? She's got her own life now."

she's your mom, come the words almost before she's done speaking, she'd want to know

Rose sighs, sitting up to lean against the headboard. She twists the ring around and around her finger, chewing on her lip. "I don't know. Sometimes it feels like she's…like she doesn't want to know."

Another pause. What her dad had said before, about them sharing a part of the mold—she can feel something in her chest. An emotion that isn't quite hers, something like a deep and exasperated sadness. It's faint, not quite enough to put words there, but she can tell when she needs to look back down at the floor.

she does love you, let her

"Okay. I'll try."

thank you

"Would you come shopping with me?" she asks, even when she knows the answer. "If you could?"

The room gets a little happier as the sparkles swirl around.

i'd spend all day with you

"What did you want to have in your room? When you were my age?"

telescope

"A telescope?" She laughs. "Did you want to be an astronaut?"

astronaut ew

She laughs again and the sunlight seems a little brighter.

***

3.

She meets Mom at a coffee shop near the big bookstore downtown. She's not wearing Dad's jacket—it still feels weird to do, even after Mom's said it's fine—but she has his ring on a necklace under her shirt. Mom waves her over to a table in the corner, nodding to the smoothie already waiting.

"Pineapple mango," she says as Rose sits down, "your favorite."

"Thanks, Mom." She takes a big drink, savoring the weird feeling the pineapple leaves on her tongue. "How're you?"

"I'm okay. Work's been getting busy again recently with the month's end rush." Mom swirls her straw around her coffee. "Did I tell you about this new thing our boss is trying to make us do?"

"No, what?"

"Apparently some young CEO in the area made it big on corporate social media about 'team building exercises,'" and Rose is already groaning in sympathy, "so he sent out this survey this past week about what activity we'd rather do."

"What were the options?"

"This group painting class thing, where we all paint the same picture—"

"Like in kindergarten?"

"Like in kindergarten," Mom agrees, "there's a bar-arcade place that's just opened up on the West Side that does private events, and then there's a good old-fashioned work dinner."

Rose makes a face. "That's it? No, like, crazy obstacle courses, or escape rooms, or anything?"

"We barely had the budget for the normal year-end stuff."

"So what did you vote for?"

"I ended up voting for the painting, actually—"

"What? Mom, that's so lame."

"Hey!" She jokingly flicks a napkin at Rose. "Lamer than the most awkward dinner you can imagine or sitting and drinking for a whole evening?"

"Isn't that what adults do? You sit and drink and talk?"

Mom sighs, shaking her head as they both laugh. "Yeah, well, I figured it might be better if we tried to do something that wasn't just sitting and drinking."

"I guess."

"Besides, I'm still missing something for the bathroom upstairs. Maybe I'll hang up whatever I manage to make there," she adds, winking at Rose.

It's supposed to be a joke at how bad at art she is—really, even Chris looked at her stick figures and struggled to find something nice to say, and Mom just laughed it off—but Rose's smile fades and she shuffles a little in the chair. She drinks more of her smoothie. Dad's words turn over and over in her head.

"Hey, Mom?"

"Mm?"

"Would you…" She fights the urge to reach for the ring. "Would you help me decorate my room?"

Mom's brow furrows. "At my house?"

"N-no, my…my room at the compound. It's stupid, never mind."

"It's not stupid, Rose," Mom says, picking up her coffee, "I'm just—I guess I'm just surprised. Most teens don't really want their parents anywhere near their rooms."

"Yeah, well, forget it."

A car drives by. Despite herself, she reaches for the ring anyway. Something warm pulses in her chest.

"It's just," she manages, "I don't really have anything in there. It's just the military stuff."

Mom's coffee cup hits the table with a thud. "What do you mean you don't have anything in there?"

"I mean, there's just a dresser, a desk, and a bed. And my little side table thing. They didn't really give me any—"

"How much time do you have?"

Rose blinks. "Huh?"

"How much time before you have to get back?" Mom's already getting up and putting the lid back on her coffee. "We're not that far from the big stores and I have my car."

"I, uh, I think I have a few hours, so—" she scrambles up too, reaching to grab Mom's arm— "wait, you're really okay with doing this?"

Mom pauses for a moment, then reaches out and covers Rose's hand with hers. "You're my daughter, Rosie, I'd love to help you decorate your room."

A lump appears in her throat and she swallows it down. "Thank you."

"Come on," Mom grins, "what are you thinking you want?"

"Uh, I was thinking maybe like a whiteboard? That way I could write down stuff that I might forget? Or like—a magnetic one so I could stick stuff to it?" She gets into Mom's car and they start driving. "Or a corkboard—I've seen a lot of people pin like, pictures and stuff to a corkboard on their walls."

"What if you get both? A corkboard to put pictures and cute stuff and then a whiteboard to write on?"

"I also want a lamp. The normal lights just make my head hurt. And they buzz, you know?"

"Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about. It's like the world's most annoying crickets, isn't it?"

"And there's no, like, in between! It's either no light at all or—"

"Or my eyes are being scorched out, that's right."

They pull into the parking lot of the store and get out, still bouncing ideas back and forth. Mom grabs a cart and they head straight for the stationary section and they spend about five minutes talking about the different corkboards and whiteboards. Then Rose decides she wants magnets so she can stick stuff to the whiteboard, then Mom spots a cute set of push pins, and then another mom and daughter walk by with one of those fancy photo printers that print out pictures from your phone like Polaroids, and they just have to get Rose one of those.

As they pick out lamps and wall decor and sheets that actually have some color, she's struck by how normal this is. She's with her mom. They're shopping for stuff for her room. They're freaking out over the pillows that have little penguins on them. She's actually smiling and laughing and she's excited. She can't wait to get back and put all this stuff in her room.

She just…wishes Dad could be here too.

"I think I'd prefer the yellow lampshade, but it's up to you." Mom looks up from the shelf to notice she's gone quiet. "Hey, what's going on?"

"Nothing, nothing," she says quickly, wiping surreptitiously at her face, "…just…I kinda wish Dad was here too."

Mom's fingers stutter on the box and for a moment, she thinks she's going to see those walls go up again, the ones that always go up when she tries to talk about Dad, but then Mom puts the box down and rubs at her wedding ring. She still wears it sometimes. Rose reaches for Dad's, under her shirt.

"I wish he was here too, Rosie," Mom says quietly, "he'd be so proud of you."

Rose swallows, and her eyes catch on a tiny monkey LED lamp further down the shelf. She picks it up. "I think he'd vote for this one, don't you?"

A hint of fond exasperation comes to Mom's face. "God, did I ever tell you what happened when he found out that you loved that little monkey you got when you were still a baby? He tried to buy everything monkey-themed he could find because he thought you might like it."

"Wait, really?"

"I had to get Chris to help me talk him out of buying an entire monkey crib for you."

Rose puts the monkey lamp in the cart. Mom smiles and they keep walking. They end up spending way more than she thought they'd be and sheepishly tries to put some stuff back, but Mom won't hear a word of it and bags everything up.

"Chris can help cover the cost if he's so worried about it," she declares as they pull back up to the meeting spot where the car is supposed to take Rose back to the compound, "anyway, all of this should have been done years ago."

"Thanks, Mom," Rose says, "I had fun."

"We should definitely do it again. I'll help you decorate your college dorm too."

Rose smiles and gets out of the car. It fades a bit when she sees Paul again, leaning against the side of the van with his arms crossed. She turns her back deliberately on him and goes to help Mom get all the bags out of the trunk.

"You're late," Paul says, like he has any right to sound like a smug, condescending asshole.

"By like five minutes. Open the trunk."

"What's all that?"

"Stuff. For my room."

"Well, I—hey!" Paul finally moves when Mom just opens the trunk and starts putting the bags inside.

"You must be the agent Rose told me about," Mom says, her voice saccharine as she dusts off her hands, "is that right, honey?"

"Yeah," she mumbles, "that's him."

"Paul," he says, "Ms. Winters."

"Mia." Mom holds out her hand and he takes it, Rose peering at them from under the brim of her hat. Her eyes widen when Mom yanks Paul closer to her, her smile fading as she hisses in his ear. "Call my daughter Eveline again and I'll break your nose, are we clear?"

Paul jerks in surprise, before turning his head slightly. "Stand down, it's fine, I can handle it."

"You can't afford to make a scene in such a public place," Mom says, her voice still perfectly even, "and Chris won't risk harming me or Rose. So you can start treating my daughter like a person or I can break your nose right now and Chris can clean up your mess."

Rose can't stop her snort as Paul sheepishly walks back to the front of the car and gets in. Mom watches him go before she turns around and says, loud enough for him to hear, "Make sure you send me pictures when you get it the way you want it, okay?"

"I will."

"And if you decide you want anything else, we'll get it next time."

"Thanks, Mom. I love you."

"I love you too, Rosie." She glares once more in Paul's direction before she walks back to her car.

Rose doesn't stop smirking as Paul drives them back to the compound. He slinks off with his tail between his legs after helping her get all her stuff into her room. She can't cover up the camera—and let them know she knows about it—but she can play her music out loud as she decorates, hanging up the little plants they found and pinning a few photos to her new corkboard. It still strikes her how normal all of this is, dancing to her music and putting up all of her new things, finally collapsing onto her now-colorful blankets with a laugh.

She texts a few photos to Mom, who responds with gushing reviews and excited emojis, before she rolls onto her side to look at the floor.

"What do you think?"

The words only take a second to appear.

it's beautiful, sweetie

"You were right," she murmurs, "it was really nice to let Mom take care of me a bit."

i'm glad

"Oh! I forgot to show you the best part!" Rose jumps off the bed and goes over to the far wall, switching on the fairy lights she hung from the ceiling amidst a bunch of fake vines. "Now the camera will just think the glowing is from the lights!"

Golden sparkles swirl beneath the soft glow.

you're so smart

"I mean," she blusters, trying not to show how pleased she is, "I was just tired of lying down to talk to you all the time."

i see, still clever

"Thanks." After a moment, she reaches over and picks up the little monkey lamp and her stuffed monkey, safely hidden beneath her pillows. "Mom told me you wanted to buy a monkey crib for me."

it would go with the onesie

"You got me a monkey onesie?"

mom has pictures

"I'll have to ask her next time." She chews on her lip, running her fingers over the seams of the monkey's ear. "I wish you could've been there."

me too

"Mom threatened to break Paul's nose if he was rude to me again." The light swirls as Dad laughs and she laughs too. "I'd kick him in the nuts too."

that's my girl

***

4.

"Stupid fucking dickhead," she spits as she slams the door, throwing her backpack onto the chair so hard it scrapes across the floor. "Fucking asshole! I'll fucking rip his head off, the fucking bastard!"

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees a tiny sparkle from the floorboards, and she stomps over to the lights, turning them on. Almost immediately, golden words swirl up.

what happened?

"Your buddy Chris fucking happened!" Rose throws herself onto the bed and punches the pillow. "He keeps treating me like I'm some—some fucking gun that only he knows how to fire and I'm fucking sick of it!"

It had been especially bad today, too. Chris apparently woke up and decided yeah, today's the day I'm gonna be a total fucking asshole for no goddamn reason. He started them out sparring, which he never does, he always has them warm up first because it's important not to strain yourself, except apparently not today when she was thrown against the fucking ground three times before she could even open her mouth long enough to say hi.

Or maybe ask what the hell crawled up his ass that morning.

And then he kept fucking looking at her like he was disappointed! Like it was her fault she wasn't expecting to be slammed up against the wall or pinned to the ground by a man fucking three times her size and then grunted at when she winced in pain because that fucking hurt, you asshole! And he kept on saying these stupid little comments that just made her angrier and angrier and then he had the gall to be like hey, you need to get a handle on your emotions like he wasn't pushing every single fucking button he knew she had!

You need to be sharper, he'd said like he had any right to try and be reasonable as he almost dislocated her fucking shoulder, emotions make you sloppy.

Yeah, well, he could try being sharper when he was being bullied for no fucking reason.

And when she'd finally screamed at him that she was done, that she didn't want to fucking do this anymore, he had the fucking audacity, the nerve to scoff and cross his arms and tell her that no, she wasn't done, she was only done when he said she was done. And yeah, she hadn't really made the decision to rush at him after that, her body did that on its own, but he literally just tossed her aside like a fucking doll and then said she wasn't leaving until she could do the fucking stupid thing he wanted her to.

She tried. She really fucking did.

But she couldn't do it.

And Chris kept refusing to help, saying he'd been training her for so long already, that he'd wash her out if she were any other recruit—to which she'd screamed that she wasn't, so why the fuck was he being like this? And he didn't fucking answer! He just told her to try it again and he kept making her angrier and angrier and she could tell Chris was getting angry too which just made hers worse because what fucking right did he have to be mad at her? What the fuck did she do to him?

It ended really badly. She'd gotten so mad she'd thrown herself at him again, not caring about proper technique or what was smart or anything, she just went for him. He grappled her, obviously, and that was supposed to be their tap-out, fight's-over thing, but she hadn't stopped. She'd scratched him and punched him and kicked him even when he growled at her to yield, and when that didn't work, she'd bit him.

Chris fucking wrenched her off of him and threw her across the room and she heard three guns click.

They'd glared at each other, Chris holding his arm like it was a fucking biohazard, and then he'd stalked off without a word while agents forcibly shoved her back to her room.

She's panting by the time she finishes, glaring a hole in the wall right below where the words normally appear. Her hands still tingle from where she'd hit the walls and the pillows. She looks up when she sees the familiar swirl.

you shouldn't have bitten him

The anger surges up her arms and she clenches her fists. "That's all you have to say? No 'I'm sorry he was such a dick, Rose?' 'You didn't deserve that?' You're fucking defending him?"

i didn't say that

"I just told you that your friend, the person you told to watch over me and keep me safe was fucking bullying me for no goddamn reason and the only thing you can say is that I shouldn't have defended myself?" Betrayal steeps vehemence into her words. Her nails bite into her palms. "I'm fucking glad I bit him!"

he's trying to help

"How in the fuck is he trying to help," she cries, "by being as bad as the bullies in school? By treating me like a freak that needs to be kept muzzled and on a leash?"

you did bite him

She picks up one of the pillows and hurls it at the wall. It hits with a pathetic thwap and falls limply to the floor. It only makes her angrier when she sees the words calm down when the lights stop shaking.

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down! You're supposed to be on my side!"

i am

She barks out a humorless laugh and picks up the pillow, throwing it back on the bed. "You're not on my side, you're on his. I don't need you lecturing me too. Just leave me alone."

More golden words swirl as she turns away, throwing herself onto the bed and curling up tightly around her stuffed monkey. She chokes around the lump in her throat and wills herself not to cry. She'd almost cried in front of Chris today already, she won't give either of them the satisfaction of seeing her cry now. She won't, she won't, she won't! It's not fucking fair that Chris did that. It's not fucking fair that he gets to act however the fuck he wants and then she's the only one punished for it. He gets to go all over the fucking world and only see her when it's convenient to him and he gets to be an asshole about it.

Dad's not even alive.

A sob chokes out before she can stop it, and then it's too late. She's blubbering like she's a stupid fucking baby again and she can hear the echoes of their voices in her ears. All alone, poor freak Rose, crying like a baby who doesn't get her way. She's so weird, she's so stupid, she can't do it. She's useless, she's not strong enough. Just go away. No one wants you here. No one wants you. No matter how hard she presses her hands to her ears, they won't fucking shut up!

Maybe she should've fucking kept the purifying crystal. Maybe she should've left with no powers and had a normal fucking life. Maybe she should've just left her dad to—

As soon as the thought threatens to cross her mind, she recoils from it. Guilt and anger war in her gut as she nearly grows sick. How could she fucking think that? After all he'd done to save her, protect her, how could she think about something like that, even if it was in a fit of rage?

A strangled noise escapes her throat and the bruises and injuries from her humiliating 'sparring session' abruptly make themselves known. Her body screams in pain; her shoulders ache, the bruise on her ribs throbs, and her jaw feels like it's about to explode. She has the hysterical impulse to bite herself and she wonders if it would hurt more than everything else. Out of the corner of her eye, she glimpses a glow coming from the floorboards now and she curls up tighter, burying her face in the monkey's tummy. Fuck it, she's been called overly emotional and childish enough times already, she may as well throw her tantrum properly.

It's like falling into the Megamycete again; she has no idea how long she lies there, wallowing in her own emotional turmoil. Flashes of the bullies, of Chris's stupid fucking face, of watching herself get tossed around and left behind…even stranger things like massive castles filled with screams and horror, creepy old houses that just feel like tombs, deep water and clanking metal, all filled with whispers of freak, dangerous, stupid child, not good enough. Everything is too loud and too quiet and she just wants it to be over.

When she finally manages to rouse herself from whatever malaise she'd fallen into, the sun has long set. Her clock shows that it's close to 10—that would explain why her stomach is trying to dig a hole in her intestines. The anger fled unknown hours ago, leaving her weary and wrung out. In its absence, she no longer feels like the bioweapon that she's supposed to be, only the scared and lonely child. It's cold. She's hungry.

There's still a soft golden glow coming from over the side of the bed.

Her lip wobbles. She doesn't want to face the consequences of yelling at her dad and throwing a pillow at him, but she can't stop the blooming warmth that he didn't leave. She crawls to the edge of the bed and peeks over.

i'm sorry Rose

She sniffles and rubs her cheek on the sheets. "'M sorry too."

you were right, i should've been on your side

"You're always on my side," she mumbles, "I know you are."

still

She sniffles again and tucks the monkey under her chin. "Why was Chris so mean today? Did I do something wrong?"

i don't think so, sometimes he's just like that

"Why?" She's ignoring how much she sounds like a baby, thank you. "It's not fair."

no it's not sweetie

Rose closes her eyes, basking in the soft glow of her dad's comfort. "Was he ever mean to you when you were training?"

yeah

"What did you do?"

broke his nose once

It startles a laugh out of her. "You what? Wait, what happened?"

he was being an asshole, so i punched him

She giggles again, both at the image of Chris's surprised face with a broken nose and at the fact that her dad got so angry with Chris that he punched him hard enough. A few more golden sparkles surround the words before they change again.

you shouldn't try it though

"Aw," she complains, mostly for show, "but you did it."

do as i say not as i do

She's quiet. After a moment, she lets her arm hang down to touch the words again. They glow gently. "I don't like fighting with you."

me neither

"I'm sorry. I was being a brat."

The words swirl up quicker than she's ever seen.

you were upset at something unfair, not a being a brat

She sniffles again, reaching over to grab a hanky and blow her nose with a sharp honk. She throws it over to the laundry basket and lies back down. The words have changed.

if you need to hear it, i forgive you

"I forgive you too."

rest

She nestles up against the pillows. "Will you stay until I go to sleep?"

of course sweetie, i love you

***

5.

Mostly Rose doesn't dream. She'll close her eyes and open them again and it will be hours later and it's time to get up. Most of the time when she does dream, it's weird half-memories that aren't hers mixed with something she does actually remember. She has dreams of a house with a red chimney being taken apart by little robotic goats, or of a crocodile swimming through a swamp filled with dead crows, or of bugs crawling over test tubes and dirty flasks. Some of them make sense when she digs into the files she's not really supposed to have access to, some of them don't.

On rare, awful occasions, she has nightmares.

She's been curled up and unmoving for who knows how long, desperately trying to feign sleep. The mold in her keeps prickling like there's something else in the room, watching her, just waiting for a sign that she's awake to pounce. Her white-knuckled grip hasn't wavered either. She dares hardly breathe; even though her rational brain knows there's nothing there, there can't be anything there, her entire body is screaming. She can feel the milky sweat beginning to ooze from her palms.

Something creaks.

She goes stiff as a board.

A creak, a groan, a rumble as the air conditioning turns on and she forces herself to relax, cracking open one eye to see that yes, this is just her room, there's nothing to be afraid of here, she's fine.

Her eyes land on the switch to the fairy lights.

The small and whimpering part of her lunges for them, for the warm glow of the light, her dad's words, in lieu of running to her parents' bed to be comforted. The other part hisses that the second she moves, whatever's lurking in the dark will strike. The monkey wheezes as she tightens her grip, staring at the innocuous plastic box hanging against the wall.

With a sudden burst, she launches herself from the bed, slapping the button, and curling back up beneath the safety of the blankets.

Immediately, the soft warm light chases away the worst of the shadows and she can peek over her shoulder to assure herself that yes, nothing is there, she's safe in her room, everything's okay. Golden sparkles are already swirling, a quiet inquisitiveness filling that one empty part in her chest as she lies back down. He's rotated his words so she can read them easily.

what's the matter, sweetie?

"Nightmare," she whispers, more into her pillow than anything else.

i'm sorry

She curls up tighter, trying to pull the blankets up almost over her head. The sweat's almost ruined her monkey—she's going to have to wash it again—and she wipes her hands on the sheet. The absence of it hits the cold air and she shivers, hunching tighter in the covers and sniffling. A sudden and sharp ache sears through her chest and she shudders, harder this time, only the top of her nose peeking out over the comforter. She's so cold. Not in the way where she can pile more blankets on and it'll go away—she could put the whole world on top of her and she would still be cold. This horrible, achy, exhausting cold that seeps into her bones and makes her want to cry.

what can i do?

"You said in your—in your letter," she hiccups, "that you'd hold me when I had nightmares, and—and sing to me until I went back to sleep."

But the words on her wall are just words and words can't hold anybody.

She wants a fucking hug, goddamnit. No one touches her anymore, not unless they're running some stupid test, or sparring, or escorting her roughly down the hallway like some—some prisoner. The last time someone touched her and it wasn't that it was Mom, telling her she'd help decorate her room and that was so long ago, everyone else just—just—

"I want to go home," she sobs and it lands like a dead weight in the still room.

what do you mean?

"I want to go home, I want to go back to that house you showed—showed me when I was in there, where you—where your memories are and I can actually h-hear you and it's warm an'—an' safe, and you love me," she cries, not caring that it's the middle of the night and she's talking to a wall, "no one here loves me. No one loves me, the doctors think I'm some—some experiment that's run too—too long and the agents all think I'm a l-liability and Mom's not here because she gave me up and Chris h-hates me."

he doesn't hate you sweetie

"He does! He does, he does, I can feel it." She hugs her monkey tightly to her chest. "He h-hates me for being the reason you're not—you're not here anymore and he hates me for reminding him that you're dead and he hates me for—for being like this and—and—and—!"

shh…shh…shh…

But he's not here and she can't hear him shushing her and she's all alone in her cold, dark room and she wants to go home.

don't cry, Rosie, it's gonna be okay sweetie

"It's not. 'S not okay."

The wall doesn't move for a moment, then it swirls again.

scoot back, i'm going to try something

Frowning, she does, shuffling awkwardly back until she's on the far side of the bed. The golden light swirls around for another second, before it writes itself on one of the pillows.

hug me

"D—Michael?"

i'm right here sweetie, i love you so much

With trembling fingers, she reaches for the pillow, touching the words with a soft gasp as they glow warmly against her still-slick palms. A sob of disbelief leaves her throat and she bundles it to her chest, burying her face in it. A soft scratching and buzzing fills her ears as more words write themselves across the pillow, but she doesn't pull her face away to read them. Not when this is the closest thing to hugging her dad she's been since she was in the deepest stratum of the Megamycete, crying over his dying body. Not when she's still so cold and the words are so, so warm. She tucks her face into the crook of the pillow's embrace and she cries.

The words don't stop writing themselves over and over and if she focuses hard enough, it almost sounds like her dad is humming.

She falls into a light sleep, not willing to miss a moment of actually being so close to her dad, soothed by his presence. Soon, light has begun to break through the window, the auto timer on the lights long since activated to switch them off. The pillow is all gross from a mixture of drool, snot, and tears, and she sheepishly tries to wipe it away when a small glow comes from underneath.

it's okay

"It's kinda gross."

my privilege, i'm your dad

"Still."

ew, remember?

A watery smile. "Thanks."

i love you so much, i'm so proud of you

"I love you too," she mumbles back, curling her arms around the pillow. Another set of words writes itself and she leans back.

do you really think Chris hates you?

"I don't know. He…he looks at me like he can't sometimes. Or like he's waiting for me to…I don't know, turn crazy or bad or like he's waiting for me to turn into you, almost." She rubs her fingers over the pillowcase. "He used to be nicer."

have you spoken since?

She doesn't need to ask what he's talking about. "No. He's been out of town again. He's supposed to be back, um…"

She leans over to check her phone, eyes widening when she sees the date.

"Uh, today. Shit, I actually think we're supposed to have a training thing today."

Before more words can write themselves, there's a knock on her door. She freezes, phone still in her hand, pillow clutched close.

"Rose?" Fuck. "It's Chris. Can I come in?"

be brave, says the last flutter of words before her dad vanishes, i love you

"…yeah."

Chris opens the door. Rose tugs on her dad's jacket over her pajamas and clutches the pillow in her lap. She doesn't look at him. He moves around a little in the doorway before he shuts it with a click. After a moment, the bed dips and groans under his weight and she sneaks a glance at his arm. Her bite mark is still there.

"Surprised they let you walk around before that healed."

"You didn't even break the skin."

It's probably meant to come off in a way that means she doesn't have to worry about it, but it stings anyway. She turns away again.

A car drives by outside.

"I owe you an apology," Chris says finally, his voice low and gruff, "I shouldn't have been so harsh. I'm sorry."

She doesn't reply, but she shifts to face the window instead of the wall.

"There's been talk of getting you moved to another squad," he continues, and her stomach drops—is Chris leaving too?— "and I thought…if I could prove that you were good with us, that we had it all under control, then they'd drop it. Leave you alone."

At the rustle as he shifts, she glances over at him. His jaw works and his hand twitches on his knee.

"I thought…" He trails off, then scoffs at himself, shaking his head. "I don't know what I thought."

He turns to meet her gaze and her gut clenches at the obvious guilt and remorse she can see there. She swallows.

"You were mean." Her voice comes out a lot smaller than she'd hoped. She swallows and tries again. "I thought you hated me."

"I don't hate you, Rose," he says in a rush, turning to face her, "please don't think that."

"So you're not trying to get rid of me?"

"Shit, Rose, no, I'm not trying to get rid of you. You're—I think Mia'd kill me if I tried, no, I'm just—" he takes a breath— "I'm just trying to keep you safe, okay?"

"Then you should've said something! I would've trained harder if I knew—we could've—I would've done something else, did I do something wrong?"

"No," he insists, shaking his head, "no, you didn't do anything wrong."

Relief begins to pool warily in her chest. Her grip on the pillow loosens and she scoots a little closer. "I'm sorry I bit you."

He shakes his head again. "It's fine. You, uh, you have good bite strength."

"Good bite strength?"

"Yeah. Your contact's really good." He gestures to the bite mark on his arm. "Got all of them in there too."

"Thanks," she says, laughing a little. Chris smiles and it's a bit easier to breathe. She gives herself a shake. "So, what's today? Weapons, sparring, how to punch boulders?"

"Actually, I, uh, thought we'd go get ice cream."

Rose pauses, looking up at him, blinking as if she'd heard wrong. "Ice cream?"

"Weather's gonna get cold soon, the good place around the corner's gonna close." He shrugs. "Been craving it."

"Yeah…yeah, ice cream sounds good."

"Great."

And before she can think too much of it, she throws herself at him and hugs him for all she's worth. She feels him stutter, not quite sure what to do, and then his arms slowly wrap around her, holding her just as tightly. And oh, she's on fire, Chris is big and warm and solid and he's holding her like she's something special and she's gonna fucking cry her eyes out if she stays here a moment longer and she's gonna die if she lets go. Chris lets out a noise of dismay when she sniffles and scoops her up, like she's a little kid again, holding her in his lap and now she's making a mess of his shoulder too.

She could swear she feels Dad smile.

***

+1.

"I'm telling you," Rose says as she lounges on her bed, "you're wrong about the cover. It's actually pretty good."

i like the classics

"Yeah, well, you're old and boring, so that makes sense."

:(

The sight of the old-fashioned emoticon frowny face makes her burst out laughing. "Oh my god, that's so lame. I don't think I've seen someone use that in years."

it's a classic!

"You gotta get with the times!"

totes dope fam

Rose winces at the immense amount of psychic damage those three words dealt, her neck protesting as she almost cringes it out of alignment. "No, D—Michael, just no."

lol

She tosses the pillow playfully at the wall again, laughing when another frowny face appears on both it and the wall. "Aww, okay, I'm sorry, here."

She picks it up and cuddles it and the frowny face turns to a smiley face. Lying back down, grin still on her face, she toys with his ring. It's gotten shinier from all the rubbing, except where she ties the cord around it so she can wear it as a necklace. She turns it this way and that, watching the sunlight glint off of it. As she does, she catches sight of the engraving on the inside.

Always and forever.

"Do you want me to tell Mom and Chris about you?"

The words swirl for a moment.

up to you

She pushes herself to sit up, propped on one elbow. The ring glistens as she slides it back onto her finger, turning it to and fro. "I don't know. It feels bad keeping something like this from them, but I want to be selfish about it too, you know? I kind of like having you all to myself."

it's not selfish

"And what if Chris thinks it's bad?" She twists the ring harder. "What if he tries to take you away from me?"

i won't let that happen

Her shoulders drop a little and she picks up the pillow again, cuddling into it. A few words write themselves across it just so she can feel their warmth and she rubs her cheek against it. "Don't you miss them?"

all the time

A melancholy that isn't hers hangs in her chest and she squeezes the pillow again. "Then should I? They miss you too, you know. I think they'd be happy to, you know, hear from you again."

The words fade and the wall glows again as he thinks. She lets him have his time, rubbing the ring back and forth, listening to the slight rattle it makes as it spins around her too-small finger. When she hears the familiar soft scratch again, she looks up.

they're happy now, i don't want to ruin that

"They're not happy," she can't help but say, "they still miss you."

content, then

"You wouldn't be ruining anything," she argues, "I thought—I thought I'd never get to see you again after I got out of there. The day I heard you again? That was the happiest moment of my life."

mine too sweetie, or my un-life i guess

The words glow brighter as her fingertips glow too. She gets up and lays her hand against the wall, smiling as their powers dance together. "I really think they'd be happy."

A pulse of warmth runs up her arm to her chest as the words shift once more.

when you think the time is right

"I'll tell you, I promise."

i'm so proud of you, Rose, i love you so much

"I love you too."

That time doesn't come on their terms, though, because that would be easy. No, instead it's when she and Chris are over at Mom's house for dinner and Chris asks a question out of nowhere that almost makes her spit all over the table.

"What?" Mom asks as Rose glares a hole in Chris's stupid forehead.

"I said," Chris says like an unrepentant asshole, "who's Michael?"

"Michael?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Rose mutters, staring down at her lap.

"I was coming to get you for training last week and you were talking to someone called Michael." Chris takes a bite of steak and talks with his mouth full, like an asshole. "So who is he?"

Mom elbows her, winking. "Someone you like?"

"What? Ew, gross, no!"

Chris and Mom just laugh and Mom elbows her again. "Don't worry, I was your age once too. That's how I reacted when my mom asked me about my crush."

"Michael isn't my crush!"

"Boyfriend, then?"

"No, he's not my—" she covers her face and sighs. "He's not my boyfriend, he's not my crush, he's not someone from school, happy?"

"So who is he?"

Well, fuck it, no time like the present. She pushes back from the table, muttering about using the bathroom. They wait until she's halfway up the stairs to start talking again, their voices low in that way where she knows they're still talking about her, but she pays them no mind as she goes into the bathroom and shuts the door. She braces her hands on either side of the sink and takes a deep breath.

"I'm guessing you heard all that."

The words swirl up right below the mirror.

yeah

"I mean, it's not like we'll get a better opportunity."

probably not

"Are you ready?"

are you?

She rubs at the chip in the linoleum and turns on the cold water, just to make sure there's no milky sweat on her hands. "I'm nervous."

me too

"No matter what happens," she says firmly, "no matter what they do or say, I'm here for you, okay? I've got your back. I love you."

i'm so proud of you, sweetie, i love you too

The words glow cheerfully against the weird tile pattern and she reaches out to touch them. They share a moment before the words fade and she takes a deep breath, squaring her shoulders in the mirror and nodding to herself. "Right. Let's do this."

She marches back downstairs and Mom and Chris do a horrible job of pretending not to be nosy and expectant. She sits back down and folds her hands in her lap.

"I'll tell you who Michael is," she begins, "but you have to promise not to tell anyone else."

"I promise, honey," Mom says, miming zipping her lips shut.

"Chris, you promise too."

Chris looks at her for a moment like he's going to disagree, then he winces as Mom kicks him under the table. "I promise too."

"Good." She takes another breath and reaches for the ring around her neck. The second she brings it out from under her shirt, Chris's silverware clatters against the plate and Mom inhales sharply.

"Rose," she says shakily, "where did you get that?"

"Before I said yes to joining you," Rose says, "I met K outside the lab. He told me there might be a way to get rid of my powers for good."

Chris frowns. "K never said anything like that to me, what do you—"

"I'm getting there. He took me to the lab where there was a piece of the Megamycete, and said that—"

"He what?"

"Will you both just listen to me?" The two of them quiet down. "Thank you. So, like I was saying, he took me to see the piece of it and said that there was a purifying crystal that Miranda discovered that could take the mold out of someone. All I had to do was look through the Megamycete's index of consciousness to see if I could find it."

"That's incredibly dangerous, Rose," Mom says quietly, and Chris looks like he's trying to strangle his fork. "Please tell me you didn't—"

"I wanted them gone," she interrupts, looking at her Mom, "they were—I was just a freak with no friends. Someone offered me the chance to be normal, are you telling me you wouldn't have done the same thing if you were a teenager?"

Mom looks at her for a long moment, but she doesn't disagree. Rose squeezes the ring and keeps going.

"It wasn't that easy, obviously. It was…really hard. And really scary. I had to fight my way through these, like, twisted versions of the places in Miranda's village, like that big castle and the creepy doll house, and there were all these versions of me that kept getting killed and tortured, I fought a version of Eveline too—"

"Rose," Chris tries to say but she doesn't let him.

"—but I had help," she continues. "There was something helping me. It helped me figure out where to go, what to do, gave me a gun and taught me how to use it. There were these glowing words that would appear when I needed them most and it…it was like having a guardian angel."

"Michael," Chris says, and she nods.

"Yeah, I called him Michael. He—he kept trying to get me to leave, said that it wasn't safe, but I wanted to find the crystal and so he helped me. And then we found out K wasn't actually K and it was all a trap set by Miranda—"

"It was what?"

Chris is already getting up. "Is she still in there? Do we need to—"

"Sit down, Chris, it's fine, we beat her. She's dead now, like, really, actually dead. She crystalized and turned to dust, I saw it."

His face still looks like he ate a lemon, but Chris sits slowly back down. He exchanges a worried look with Mom and she puts her hand on Rose's shoulder. "You said 'we?'"

"Me and Michael." She looks down at the ring and turns it over in her hand. "Until I found out who he really was."

Mom gasps, a small and shuddery thing. She holds her hand over her mouth and stares at Rose. "Ethan."

Chris makes a noise too as Rose nods. "Yeah. It was him the whole time. He…he protected me. From Miranda, from Eveline, from everything."

"He loved you so much, honey," Mom whispers, her eyes growing wet, "he never stopped loving you."

"He showed me our house in Romania," and to her horror, she can feel her voice growing thick too, "with all his memories. I heard his voice, Mom, he—he wrote me a letter, did you know?"

"Yes," Mom says, trying not to sob, clutching her shoulder, "yeah, honey, I know. He cried so much while he was writing it, he wanted you to get old enough to read it with him, oh, Rose…"

She swipes a hand under her nose and turns to Chris, who's doing that big, tough, I'm-too-manly-for-my-emotions-right-now thing and reaches for him too. After a moment, his hand turns and covers hers. He's trembling. "He taught me how to fight, Chris. We—we fought together. He shot the monsters in the face with a shotgun and gave me his power so I could kill Miranda, once and for all."

Chris swallows heavily. "Your dad was…he was one of the best men I've ever known, Rosie. He would be so proud of you." He sniffs. "You said he shot them in the face with a shotgun?"

"Mhm."

"Yeah, that sounds like Ethan, alright." Mom laughs and it sort of sounds like a sob but she and Chris are smiling now, so it's okay. Chris looks back at her and nods a few times. "So you were talking to him, then?"

"Yeah. When you walked by on Tuesday, I think it was…yeah, we were arguing about whether the original Blade Runner was better than 2049." She wrinkles her nose. "He said the original was better but I like the remake."

Chris frowns. "What do you mean, he said—"

The words scrawl over Mom's dining table, illuminating their faces.

i like the classics, that's all

Rose would laugh at the way Chris almost falls out of his chair if his hand and Mom's weren't trembling. She looks at Mom, who stares at the glowing words, and at Chris, who looks like he's about to be sick.

Mom breaks the silence first. "…Ethan?"

The words move, now right next to her forgotten plate.

hi honey

"You're—you're—"

bad at staying dead?

Mom's breath leaves her like she's been punched in the gut. "Oh, Ethan, I—I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry—"

breathe, it's okay

She squeezes Mom's hand as she takes a few shaky breaths. "What—how is this possible?"

rose

"We're both part of the mold," Rose says when Mom looks to her, "he's…he's using my part right now, we're sort of sharing it."

told her i'm not a scientist, figured you'd get it :)

"No one uses those anymore," Mom mumbles and Rose whispers a quiet told you so! as the smiley turns to a frowny for a moment, before the words change again.

i know it's been hard, i'll always love you

"Oh, Ethan," Mom whispers, reaching out to touch the words. She gasps as a flicker of warmth pulses through them and Rose squeezes her hand again. "I miss you."

i miss you too

Another glow flickers up next to Chris, who startles and stares down at the words in shock.

you too

"E-Ethan, I—" he cuts himself off as the words swirl again.

thank you for taking care of my daughter

Chris swallows heavily. "She's incredible, Ethan. You should be proud of her."

always am

"I'm sorry," Chris whispers, and something in Rose's gut clenches at how close to tears he looks too, "if I'd been faster, we could've gotten you out of there, we could've…"

it's okay, Chris, we're all okay

"You're dead."

i died in 2017, doing pretty well considering

"He is really bad at staying dead," Rose adds, "Miranda said so too. You should've seen her, she was so mad at us."

Chris looks like he's having a hard time deciding whether he wants to laugh or cry. The sparkles swirl again.

she's a fighter, she gets that from you too

His free hand jerks and Rose squeezes the one in hers. "You can touch, Chris, he won't bite. That's my thing."

it won't hurt, promise

Chris takes a deep breath and slowly touches the words. His breath leaves him in a rush as they glow warmly under his fingers. Rose smiles as she feels the mold connect all of them there, in that moment, through her and Ethan. Some part of her clicks into place. As if he can feel it too, which he probably can, another set of words appears in front of her.

we're so proud of you, Rosie

"Yeah, yeah," she mumbles as she feels heat rush to her cheeks, "shut up."

no :)

Mom laughs. "We finally have all three of us together again and you want us to not tell you how proud we are of you?"

"They've got a point, Rosie."

"I'll break your nose!"

"No, no," Mom says as Chris squawks, even though she's still smiling, "no breaking Chris's nose."

even if he deserves it

"Hey!"

As they all laugh together, Ethan's words still glowing in the warm, quiet house, Rose sits back in her chair and twists her dad's ring around her finger. Sure, being a mold bioweapon teenager was weird, but if this is the family she gets to have because of it, it can't be all bad.

[voxofthevoid]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by my one and only Jesus @eusuntgratie

I recently cleared out all the ask/tag games in my drafts because I realized I'd reached the pile-up stage of putting things in there and not doing shit. Thanks to everyone who's tagged me in those the last couple of months and sorry I didn't get to any!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

148

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

2,005,606 (crossed the 2 million milestone recently and am still buzzing about it)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I'm only writing for Jujutsu Kaisen, but I'm posting for Jujutsu Kaisen, Bleach, and MCU.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

I was so sure it was going to be all MCU, but nope, it's a mix of MCU and Hannibal. God, that was my first Ao3 fandom, and my Hannibal fics are from 2014. It's surreal people are still reading/enjoying them.

if you're looking for jesus (then get on your knees)—MCU

i'm a ghost, you're an angel (one and the same)—MCU

A darkness seen and shared—Hannibal

Ways and Means—Hannibal

the hand you want to hold is a weapon (and you're nothing but skin)—MCU

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I enjoy the interactions and discussions. Plus, since I'm not a Discord (or group spaces) person, it's how I find fellow fans to chat with, especially during my initial foray into a particular fandom. I do have a huge backlog of some 1.1k comments from 2020 to mid-2021 because I didn't have much time for fandom in that period. I'm chipping away at it slowly, but I'm pretty prompt about replying to everything on my post-2021 fics.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm, this Hannibal fic, I'd say: Till the bitter end

Let's just say I predicted the series finale in some weird way.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of mine end happily—a few are ambiguous, while others are dark.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Oh yeah. It's only happened with MCU and Jujutsu Kaisen, and they're mostly cases of overgrown children unhappy that I didn't write the ships or dynamics they want.

9. Do you write smut?

It's my specialty now 😎

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nah. I've done fusion-style AUs, but full-on crossovers aren't something I'd like to write. I'll read them, but I'm picky.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Multiple times (MCU and YoI, iirc), both within Ao3 and offsite.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Multiple times, for multiple fandoms! It's always a delight.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I did write one(1) fic that way, but it got yeeted into the void when my co-author deleted her entire Ao3 account. I have a copy, I think.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I'm the kind of person who's most devoted to whatever is eating my brain at the time, so right now, it's Yuuji/Gojou from Jujutsu Kaisen.

15. What’s a wip you want to finish but probably won’t?

My writing superpower is that if I lose interest in a WIP, I also lose all desire to finish it and any guilt about it. And these days, I tend to start a fic and work on just that till it's done. So the answer is—none.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I write some smokin' hot porn, and I'm pretty good at threading character study through it. The porn is the plot, in most cases. I also enjoy doing background worldbuilding that serves to give the narrative a sense of depth despite the focus being on characters and relationships.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Fight scenes, ensemble casts, and sustained plotty plots.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Ah, I can feel my Hannibal-era Google-translate Lithuanian judging me.

In general, I avoid it, but when I write for anime set in Japan, I tend to work in honorifics. My mother tongue has those too, so I know from experience that there are no English equivalents that capture the same vibe.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Hunter x Hunter, I think. That account no longer exists. On Ao3, it's Hannibal.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I tend to be biased toward my newer works, so this keeps changing. At the moment, it's (let me be clear) every version of the story ends with you being slaughtered (JJK, goyuu).

Tagging (no pressure) 20 people because why the hell not: @possibleplatypus, @actualalligator, @joeys-piano, @cursedvibes, @backwardshirt, @m34gs, @naamah-beherit, @dragongirlg-fics, @crossroadswrite, @spacebuck, @jenroses, @calamitouskings, @knivash, @lo-55, @bookwyrmling, @sorrythatwasamistake, @ddelline, @lilyfarseer, @roughkiss and @deunan306

[mycupofrum]

20 Qᴜᴇꜱᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ꜰɪᴄ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇʀꜱ

Thanks for the tag @fiendishfyre 💙💙

Ao3 Username: mycupofrum

1. How many works do you have on A03?

All in all 43 fics (24 in English and 19 in Finnish).

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

149k

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Harry Potter. (I've written one Obikin fic for Star Wars but haven’t posted it in English.)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Bathe with me (Prongsfoot, E, 4k)

A lesson in love (Prongsfoot, M, 6k)

What are best friends for (Prongsfoot, E, 2k)

Practice makes perfect (Prongsfoot, E, 4k)

The art of seduction (Prongsfoot, T, 798)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes. I try to respond within a few days but sometimes it takes a longer while. Still, I always read and appreciate them!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don’t usually write angsty endings but Guilt has one and Darkness has some unhinged tones to it. :D

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of them have happy endings.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

None so far, which is lucky.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeah. It's pretty basic sex, no major kinks there. xD I focus on building tension between the characters because I think that's hot.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope, nothing so far.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not by anyone else. I'd be so happy if that ever happened! I translate my own fics though.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! Years ago I co-wrote some crack fics. They're not available anywhere anymore. xD

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Prongsfoot! ❤️ They've been living rent free in my mind for a very long time.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I haven’t posted any WIPs so we'll see which ones I can finish and post and which will stay hidden in the folder.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Maybe dialogue. And humour? I tend to add it in the story without meaning to (I don't know if that's a strength or not).

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

The longer the fic, the more scattered my brain gets in remembering details and making the story work.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'm all for it if it makes sense for the story.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Specialised in you (Prongsfoot, E, 11k)

I like how it turned out to be more than I intended with some smut, angst, action, drama, hurt/comfort...you name it. Also it was a bit experimental for me with James polyjuiced into a woman for a short while. I loved writing f/m and m/m Prongsfoot in the same fic!

Tagging @cassiaratheslytherpuff @gracelesslady23 @forestdeath1 @heartofspells @in-flvx and anyone who wants to do this!

[pynkhues]

20 questions for writers

Tagged by @riosnecktattoo, thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

93

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

1,007,385 which is an insane number

3. What fandoms do you write for?

A bunch! I've written for Good Girls, Succession, Stranger Things, Bridgerton and The Umbrella Academy most recently. I'll probably post little things from Shogun and Interview with the Vampire in the not too distant future though.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Like an Unsung Chorus

An Antique Form

Show Me How to Fake It (Touch Me in the Dark)

Playing House

Cross Your Fingers

All Good Girls fic!

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to, but I sometimes get a little overwhelmed by them and don't really know how to reply. People are very nice, haha.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't really write angsty endings overall - I'm a happy endings sort of writer when it comes to fic - but some of my Succession fics have pretty loaded endings, so probably Stay Soft, Get Eaten or Unsprouted.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably I Could Be Your Welcome.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, I'm pretty lucky in that sense.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! And mm, I guess I'd say smut-with-baggage, haha.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope, not really. I read them sometimes though.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

To echo Taylor, not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone asked once, and I said yes, but I'm not sure if they ever did it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I did waaaay back in my LJ days, but I haven't since I moved to ao3, no.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Honestly an impossible question!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Mmm, probably the parents group AU for Good Girls. I love that fic, and still think about it sometimes, but it's feeling further and further away.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good with character and conveying their motivation, so even when readers don't like a choice, they hopefully understand why the character's made it. It comes from asking my own writing why? a lot, haha.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I think I definitely and often have saggy middles. I like writing beginnings and endings, and can get lost in the weeds in between. I also have worked really hard recently at getting better at writing action and mixing up gestures and character movements. I find I can get repetitive and fall back on the same descriptions which is something I'm really trying to fix at the moment.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

If you don't speak the language yourself, you should at least try and get a beta reader who does to ensure it makes sense.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Oh, man, way back in the day, it was probably Digimon, hahaha.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Mmm, probably either my Succession fic Despicable Animals orrr my Good Girls fic, Drive You Mad (wear me out) I'm pretty attached to my Stranger Things fic, I Might Be Great Tomorrow (but hopeless yesterday) at the moment though too.

Tagging: @nakedmonkey @carry-the-sky @misshazelevers20 @kimwexlers-brownhair and whoever else would like to do it. :-)

[mppmaraudergirl]

20 Q's for Fic Writers

Thank you to the incredible @wearingaberetinparis for the tag!

1. How many works do you have on A03? 36 public and 18 hidden away.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 955,789. Let's see if we can get to 1m!

3. What fandoms do you write for? Harry Potter, specifically the Marauders era/Jily.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? The Wedding Ring, The Reckless Now, Chasing Life, in retrograde, and The Road Back to You.

5. Do you respond to comments? Usually! It takes me more time than I'd like. I tend to answer comments on a chapter as I'm nearing the completion of the next chapter, little quirk of mine.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Generally I don't have angsty endings, but by its very nature (only one lives AU), the answer is Remarkable. (for now)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Geez this is a toss up between The Wedding Ring and in retrograde but I think IR earns it a bit more after everything I put them through.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not usually, no.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I do. Throbbing and quivering and generous partners smut obviously.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Nope. Anything not Jily I'm writing is original work.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not that I know of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yep I have! It's a shit ton of fun to create a story with someone you absolutely vibe with! I'd be open to doing more. High rec.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Jily. They are my comfort ship.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Ha, there are too many to name. It's looking like The Reckless Now is gonna fall under this category though. 🥴

16. What are your writing strengths? I think banter has always been a strong point. I've been told I do a decent job at writing flawed but likeable characters and romance in my stories.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Repetition.. something I think (hope) is mostly attributed to writing about the same two characters so much. I'm also not very good at including details (locations, clothing, food, those sorts of things) and have to really work at it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? No thoughts? Go for it.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Harry Potter. My first fic was a fix-it fic for the end of OOTP. I did not cope with Sirius' death well.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? This is a toss up between in retrograde and Chasing Life, both of which I've read some of fairly recently and love for different reasons. IR might win though.

No pressure tagging @possessingtheproperspirit @annabtg @blitheringmcgonagall @theresthesnitch @arianatwycross @kay-elle-cee @charmsandtealeaves and anyone else who wants to do this.

[cuddlepilefics]

Carsick Seonghwa (short)

Since I don't always have the time or energy to write a full fic, I'm experimenting with some shorter stuff...

Please let me know what you think<3

Seonghwa's POV.:

Today's schedule had been incredibly long and I knew that I wasn't the only one feeling tired after such a day. Why did the others not get quieter as their energy ran out? I've been nursing a headache for most of the day and thought once the kids have tired themselves out, they'd surely stop fooling around but nope- I was wrong.

We were currently on our way back to the dorm and I had the misfortune of ending up in the same van as San and Wooyoung. They had connected Wooyoung's phone to the speakers and had an intense karaoke session, screaming their heads off. If they continued like this, the drive would be a long drive indeed. Yunho sat next to me and at some point met my eyes, shaking his head the tiniest bit. 

Why did Hongjoong have to ride with Yeosang, Mingi and Jongho? Sure, one of us in each car but why did he get the calm kids? "Hyung, I'm pretty sure my ears are bleeding", Yunho whispered with a wince. I only nodded at that, feeling the same way. Rummaging through my bag, I produced a box of earplugs and quickly put some in my ears before offering a sealed pack to Yunho. There wasn't much use in telling our dongsaengs to be quiet, they'd have to blow off steam eventually otherwise they wouldn't be able to sleep and too tired to get through tomorrow's schedule. 

Yunho gave me a grateful smile as he put the earplugs in and leant against the window, closing his eyes. I should probably do the same. Ugh, my head was killing me. I tried to follow Yunho's example but found the position extremely uncomfortable, plus, the movement of the car was slowly making my stomach feel funny. No, I don't really get carsick but driving while not feeling well does get to me occasionally. Breaking into a sweat, I took off my hoodie and bunched it up to use as a pillow. It felt nice to rest my head and close my eyes for a bit. 

Unlike Yunho, I wasn't able to fall asleep though. Every turn of the road caused my stomach turn turn along with it and closing my eyes wasn't really helpful either. Sighing, I sat up straight again and massaged my forehead. San had turned to me and I saw his lips moving. I clumsily picked one of the earplugs from my ear and muttered: "Wha'?" - "I asked if you're okay. You look really pale, hyung", San repeated, causing Wooyoung to turn to me too. "Uhm, I have a bit of a headache but I'm okay", I assured them but was I? I didn't know. 

"Could you- could you ask the driver to pull over?", I breathed, beads of sweat forming on my forehead. While Wooyoung talked to the driver, San frowned: "What's going on, hyung?" I could only shake my head. My mouth was watering already and I was afraid to speak. Pressing a fist to my lips, I swallowed and drew a shaky breath. My head spun dizzily as we hit another turn and I tightly gripped the seat in front of me. "We'll stop as soon as we get the chance to pull over", Wooyoung informed and I could only hope I'd last till then, already feeling sicker by the second. He made eye contact with San before asking: "Do you need a bag?" Nodding urgently, I squeezed my eyes shut. "How long have you been sick, hyung?", Wooyoung asked and I heard the crinkle of a plastic bag being dumped out in a hurry. 

As soon as my dongsaeng handed it to me, my stomach lurched and I barely managed to open the bag in time. A steady hand appeared on my back. San had poked Yunho's leg till the boy had woken up and removed his earplugs. I was glad when Yunho wrapped one arm around my shoulders, steadying my as I choked up the small dinner I had forced down earlier. My throat was on fire as I kept coughing. While Yunho patted my back, San uncapped a water bottle. "What's going on, hyung? Haven't you been fine earlier?", Yunho asked, his brows furrowed in confusion. I accepted the water and after sipping some, I rasped: "Had a headache and when I tried to sleep, the motion of the car made me queasy." - "You get carsick?!", San asked in utter shock as it never really happened before. Well, it had happened before. "Only when I have to drive while not feeling my best", I whispered and couldn't help the blush spreading on my cheeks, "I used to throw up as a kid but it usually just makes me really nauseous nowadays." 

Wooyoung handed me a tissue and I dabbed the sweat off my forehead before wiping my lips. We were finally pulling off the highway and into a gas station. After opening the windows to air out the car, we got out and I shakily tossed the bag into the closest bin. It felt nice to have steady ground under my feet and the cold night air helped ease my stomach too. "You want some gum?", San offered as I sat on the pavement. The minty flavor rid me of the vile taste and I muttered a soft: "Thanks." Drawing a deep breath, I was surprised when someone plopped down next to me. "We decided it'd be best to take a ten to twenty minute break, give you some time to get your bearings before we continue home", Yunho informed, "You wanna rest your head on my shoulder and close your eyes for a bit? You look tired." I thanked him quietly as I leant into his side, whispering: "Where are the others?" - "Getting a late night snack from the gas station", he told me with a soft laugh. "Ugh, food", I groaned, covering my facer. "Yeah, no idea how they can eat right now either but hey, it's quiet now", Yunho laughed and despite feeling wrecked, I couldn't help but laugh along.

[bookish-bogwitch]

20 questions for fic writers!

Thank you @artsyunderstudy, @alleycat0306, @cutestkilla, and @ileadacharmedlife for tagging me in this game!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 22, but I think of only 16 of them as "real" fics. The others are podfics, the pornbot meta, random stuff I could've just left on tumblr, etc.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

108,039. If you subtract the words I didn't write (like 97% of Birthday Man and add words the AO3 didn't capture because they're in screen shots (like Impulse Shopping with Simon Snow), it's more like 75k.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Carry On exclusively. I did set out to write a Buddy Daddies fix-it fic right after the series finale but abandoned it because (1) I actually just wanted to read BD fic, not write it, and (2) omg, it is so much harder to write for a TV show where there's not an existing written author voice to imitate.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Ready or Not (20,698 words) Kudos: 460

Missing (8,823 words) Kudos: 422 (co-written with @oxi-is-a-moron)

Impulse Shopping with Simon Snow (12 words that AO3 can count, more like 5k in the screenshots) Kudos: 328

Birthday Man (39,132 words, of which about 1k are mine) Kudos: 178

Size You Up (6,850 words) Kudos 133

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I love getting comment responses and engaging with writers that way.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

That has to be What Eats You, but it wasn't angsty for Snowbaz, only for Lamb. 😂 Ooh, and the ending of Missing was sort of angsty--though again, not really for Snowbaz--but I didn't write that part, @oxi-is-a-moron did. (So it's not boasting to say that it's beautiful 🥺.) I have a WIP idea that's still just a summary paragraph. It's extremely angsty with a bittersweet-at-best ending, and I will only ever write it if I decide it hurts more to keep it in my head than to let it out.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Everything's a Story. Because the ending is Baz pandering to ME.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet, but it's been less than a week since I posted the fandom's first bestiality fic, so we'll see.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes--about half my "real" fics are mature or explicit. I find it very very challenging to write, it takes a lot longer than other writing, I think because my discomfort makes me very self-critical. I've come to realize that the sex has to have emotional / narrative significance for me to want to write it--the one time I wrote a sex scene where the whole point of it was sex, I cringed afterward. (Tbf to baby me, it was my first explicit fic and second fic ever and unbetaed, so whatever.) I guess I can deal with writing smut a little better if it's super cracky but even then, I'd want to keep it brief.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope, probably wouldn't. I've thought about "what if Snowbaz time traveled and met Kim and Will from the Will Darling Adventures" but it would be pretty boring my only thought is "they're the same, huh?" (For the record I would read the hell out of that crossover.)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I love collaborating. For WIPfest I finished @facewithoutheart's WIP, What Eats You?. And @oxi-is-a-moron finished my WIP, Missing. And there was Birthday Man, the Simon's b-day round robin with probably most of you reading this. AND @ic3-que3n and I wrote our bizarre tell-all confessional about the pornbots together. And this spring @ivelovedhimthroughworse and I spent a lovely spring day writing to prompts and thought we'd memorialize it. Honorable mention to @ic3-que3n's art in Behind the Magic. Technically I wrote the words (it was CORBB) but the concept was their idea and we did so much scheming and giggling that it felt like co-writing.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Malmage.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

None. I have a long google doc of ideas but don't really think of something as a WIP until it gets is own file and I start writing. I tend to only have 1-2 WIPs going at a time, and right now there's only one, Basil Pitch's Diary. (Of which ~ 200 words are posted but I have 20k+ and plan to start posting after COC.) So, none. If I ever start the aforementioned angst fest there's a good chance I'll bail partway through.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm funny. I'm told I am good at mixing humor and sex and angst. I have come up with some original concepts. I commit to the bit.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

While I might have original concept ideas, I'm weak on worldbuilding. I tend to stick squarely within the canon-verse. I've never written an AU. My only OC was a sentient mop. I've never even written a villain, I don't think. I struggle with making the MCs do things that I wouldn't do myself, for good or bad. (For instance, I've written almost zero love confessions and tend to write around them because I've never love-confessed to anyone I wasn't already dating and even imagining it makes me want to vanish in a puff of smoke.) I am a very slow writer--I'm in awe of people who can bang out thousands of words in a day, or go from idea to execution in hours. If I can manage a steady 200 words a day, not including editing, that's pretty fast. This pace makes it hard to picture writing a really long fic, ever.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've never really thought about it. It could be nice for scene-setting; I love all the Norwegian in @scone-lover's Northern Downpour, it really adds to the atmosphere, and the German in @spockzilla's Twelve Days of Christmas cracked me up. The lack of translations made it that much funnier when I finally looked it up myself, or when the meaning was obvious. (Guten Abend, meine kleinen Twinks!) So--maybe someday?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Carry On

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Ready or Not. It's the only thing I've written that I've also read for my own entertainment.

Tagging everyone mentioned above, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @skee3000, @thewholelemon, @facewithoutheart, @hushed-chorus, @captain-aralias, and @nightimedreamersworld.

[ervona]

20 questions for writers! (fanfic themed)

thank you @wispstalk :) I will tag... @waterdhaviancheesecake @hungerofhadarr @aphoticfairy @biichama @wingedtwilight

answers and question list under the cut:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

none! I did repost some of them on squidgeworld

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

not applicable. my tesfest collection clocks in at 10.5k

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Elder Scrolls and Forgotten Realms right now...

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

again not applicable. the ones on tumblr get around the same amount of notes so I can't really rank the handful of them imo

5. Do you respond to comments?

I read and cherish all the tags I've gotten, I respond to comments if I post the work in a server of course and if you message me about it... I'm so happy to talk about writing any time, both mine and your own

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

quite a few but most are unpublished yet so I'll say "thrice-sealed" ends in a pretty pointless and unfulfilled way. most things for this family do, it's really about which moment you end up focusing on

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think I have more of these published... "sever seas" is a hit to me, really encapsulates the emotion I'm chasing when writing a happy ending, which is that it's never too late and it'll all be ok eventually

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nope! I don't think anyone likes hate but I'd love more criticism as uniform positivity is kind of dull. I always love to hear what people liked about my work but I'd also love to hear what they didn't like...

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

mixed impressions on this one, I've written sex scenes, but I've also been told it's not quite smut... I don't like IKEA erotica but I like sex scenes for character study so if you get anything from me it'll be it

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

not that I recall, I haven't really had ideas for crossovers

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I'd be genuinely surprised

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope but feel free to!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

no but I'm up for it, and imo I'm good at collaborative work

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I don't have one, if I'm attached to a particular dynamic it's for a limited period of time that they inspire me... but I still care them

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

HEADSTONES LMAO... I have a lot of other unfinished ideas but this is one I plotted out, not even that long or complicated and then drove right off the bridge. I want to return to it when I have more inspiration and feel more assured in my Reithwin lore because it's a big old mess

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm taking from comments I've gotten because I can't self-analyze that well: the cadence of it owed in part to being esl, capturing an atmosphere, the psychological profile of characters and dialogue! personally I think I'm good at this too but there's room to improve

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

long form plotting! I couldn't write a novel, and when I write short stories I struggle to not just make it a vibes based thriller. in fanfic this manifests as characters just hanging out. pondering their life. there are many story ideas in my mind with some definite plot but putting it all together is quite a task. I'll just keep on trying to do it!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'm already writing in another language, but I'd only want to try a language I'm as familiar with or a conlang where I can make it up unless I have someone to consult about the language being right

19. First fandom you wrote for?

genuinely not sure. maybe Neopets, stories about my pets, which would've been the first and only fanfic I had published in a while...

20. Favorite fic you've written?

not any of my published ones unfortunately, but fortunately I have many contenders. may you all get to read them at some point... so right now one I'm very endeared towards is the one where a young Vedam and Orvas Dren are traveling with their mother, though I've changed their timeline up so much I'm not sure if their ages work... okay from my published ones I'll say the Mavus one is dear to me :)

...

here's a list of the questions:

How many works do you have on AO3?

What's your total AO3 word count?

What fandoms do you write for?

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Do you respond to comments?

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Do you get hate on fics?

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Have you ever co-written a fic?

What's your all-time favorite ship?

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

What are your writing strengths?

What are your writing weaknesses?

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

First fandom you wrote for?

Favorite fic you've written?

[argisthebulwark]

Ao3 20 Questions

thank you @kagedbird for the tag!! <3<3 i will tag some friends @daedrabait @miraakswhore @somethingscarlet13 @queerbashir if u wanna participate <3

How many works do you currently have on ao3? Currently 25. holy shit, i thought it was more than that lol

What's your total ao3 word count? 98,336. Used to be like 200k before i cleaned out some old works i didn't care for anymore.

What fandoms do you write for? Skyrim and Star Trek TOS & AOS

What are your top five fics by kudos? Sorry Lass, Make Me Feel Mortal, Don't Shut Me Out, Fascinating, and Destroy Rebuild

Do you respond to comments? Sometimes! Honestly it depends on whether or not i'm online and see them. if i don't respond right away it feels rude to respond weeks after the fact, but for repeat commenters or usernames i recognize i try to!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Idk i used to like to emotionally beat up Jim a lot, so probably one of the short stories where i explore all his traumas

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably Sorry, Lass. I originally wrote it in 2015 and i'm fairly certain it ends with a mushy marriage scene.

Do you get hate on fics? Surprisingly, no. I think i got a few rude comments back when i first started, but honestly everyone's been too kind to me.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Hell yeah brother that's what i do!! I love angsty, emotionally charged smut. my personal favorite to write is angry, hatefuck type of stuff. or when they're using it to avoid talking about feelings.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Not that i've ever posted lmao. I don't usually post non canon compliant fics for whatever fandom i'm working in.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Kinda. a few years ago someone let me know that my work had been reposted to a fic site i don't use and one quick message got them to take it down. Also, i once posted a fic as a one off, forgot that i'd done that, and used the same scene much later in a larger story - and some nice commenter on the original let me know that someone had stolen my idea lmao

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope, never had anyone request that and don't want to do so incorrectly.

Have you ever cowritten a fic? Kind of? an old friend and i used to write separate chapters of our self insert marvel fics and mush them together into one story lol. never posted it anywhere, it was just shared emails and google docs.

What's your all time favorite ship? God, that's hard. probably McKirk. as i've gotten older and unlearned all the internal shame about self inserts it's gotten easier to do a self insert story instead of an established pair.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Every few weeks i pluck away at my regency au Miraak fic. i don't think i'll ever actually finish it because it's just so big in my head it's hard to get on paper, but i hope i do someday.

What are your writing strengths? I'm very comfortable writing sex scenes. I think that often when the author is uncomfortable about writing explicit sex the reader can really feel it in the story and i put in a lot of work to get over those mental hurdles. i've been told i'm good at characterization, which is awesome! i love getting in a character's head!

What are your writing weaknesses? Very often i find myself bogged down with the need to describe every little scene. it's a major reason i haven't posted a longfic in a while - i want to write these big stories but find myself getting lost in the little details. i also have a terrible habit of editing myself while i'm writing, which just gets me stuck in an unproductive loop.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Since i'm only fluent in English, this isn't something i am confident in. i've written in a few fictional languages for fics before but would probably reach out or suggest another author if a reader wanted something that heavily involved this.

First fandom you wrote for? Twilight babey!!! self insert oc to smooch Edward Cullen when i was a little middle schooler!!! i didn't know what fanfiction was but i knew i had a big ol crush on him.

Favorite fic you've written? not to be cringe on main, but most of my favorites are things that never got published. they're the little things still hanging out in my google docs that i go back to over and over. i rewrote all of star trek into darkness word for word just to make bones and jim kiss, i made a self insert just to smooch skurge after hyperfixating on thor ragnarok, and the weird time a few months ago where i wrote like 40k words of a cowboy romance. i read them often and wish that i'd written more on many of them but i do not read my published works.

thanks to anyone who read my rambling lmao. love you all sososo much, thank you for reading my silly little stories and caring about them. <3<3<3

[starsuncounted]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for tagging me @bywayofmemory!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 82.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 128,198.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Currently, LOTR, Silmarillion, Narnia, and Timeless. I'd like to get back to writing Turn fics, though. I have a couple ideas for oneshots that have been rattling around in my brain.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

winter-touched, frost-bitten (Spinning Silver, T, Miryem/the Staryk Lord, 1.1k): A missing scene in which Miryem strikes a new bargain with the Staryk Lord.

As the Hare Flees Before the Wolf (Silmarillion, T, Eöl & Celegorm, 1.8k): Curufin is not the only son of Fëanor Eöl meets upon the plains of Himlad. Or, Eöl meets Celegorm while pursuing Aredhel and Maeglin, and things go very badly for him.

Here at Journey's End (LOTR, G, Frodo & Legolas, 1.6k): They stay for those they love.

West, West Away (LOTR, G, Sam & Thranduil, 3.6k): Sam meets an unlikely kindred spirit on the journey West.

and I will love with urgency, but not with haste (Silmarillion, T, Andreth/Aegnor, 3.1k): A summer evening spent in a glade near the shores of the Aeluin.

5. Do you respond to comments? Yep! It may take me a while, but I always do. The only exceptions are for cryptic comments that I don't understand and have no idea what to reply with.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Lol. Lmao, even. At least half of my fics are nothing but angst. So...*spins wheel* Let's go with darkness lies on the foaming waves between us (LOTR, G, Arwen & Celebrían & Elwing, 1k), in which Arwen shares the news of her choice with her mother.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I do actually have a couple fics that would qualify for this (shocking, I know), but I have a special place in my heart for And There Make a Garden (LOTR, G, Éowyn, <1k). Éowyn finally being happy and content is everything to me.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not since I returned to fandom in 2020 and started posting on AO3 (unless some of those aforementioned cryptic comments are badly worded hate). But I did get the occasional hateful comment back when I posted on FFN.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Occasionally and it's very vanilla.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Never written one.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I hope not!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nope.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? I must be loyal to my thirteen-year-old self and say Faramir/Éowyn, my forever OTP.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I really would like to finish And Every Winter Turn to Spring (Turn, Anna/Hewlett), but I don't think I can rekindle the same enthusiasm I had for it during the height of my Turn fixation in 2020/2021. That, and I'm sure that if I were to pick it up again, I'd want to tear it apart and fix it up because it was one of the first fics I started writing after a years-long break from fic writing, and I'm certain I'd be embarrassed by parts of it now. And doing heavy editing like that feels overwhelming right now.

16. What are your writing strengths? Usually characterization and description, but I've been having trouble with my descriptions lately, and in a very strange twist, dialogue has—for the first time ever—been easier for me.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Plots. You will be getting no 100k+ longfics from me. Sorry. Oneshots or bust.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I only use other languages when writing Tolkien fic and do so sparingly and always with translations in the author notes. All phrases are yoinked from RealElvish.net because I can't be assed to put Elvish sentences together myself. Sorry JRRT.

19. First fandom you wrote for? LOTR. A couple of ancient fics that have never and will never see the light of day.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? It changes by the day, but I am very fond of On These Hither Shores (LOTR, G, Frodo & Boromir, 3.2k). It took a while to come together, but I'm so happy with how it turned out and that I finally achieved my goal of writing Frodo and Boromir getting to know each other before everything went to hell in a handbasket.

Tagging @tortoisesshells @boltlightning @aloveforjaneausten @dreamingthroughthenoise if you'd like to do this!