#i told her i wanted to be an actor and she told me i'd never do it

[justkending]

Mr. & Mrs. Hunt (7/7)

Mini-Series Summary: Two of the most stubborn people in the group partnered together for an undercover mission are also the two people with the most hatred for each other, so what could go wrong? Or is it, what COULDN’T go wrong?…

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger Reader (Enemies to Lovers) (Fake Marriage Trope)

Word Count: 1800+ (shorter but sweet;)

A/N: This is the last chapter of the mini-series! I've loved a break from all my other WIPs and am surprised that I was able to complete this even if I wasn't sure where it was going 🥲 Thank you all again for the support, comments, and sweet love you've sent my way, and I hope to have more free time to write this summer now that I'm on break!🥳💞

Next Chapter

Y/N’s POV:

Four months have gone by since our mission. And to say things are different would be an understatement. 

We kept the game of hating each other going on long enough for Steve and Nat to both lose their bets. And then we each did a little betting on the side with the two on how fast we could make the other reconcile. Bucky and I both were $200 richer after that. 

The team was shocked at the new friendship, but after some consideration and after coming clean to Bucky about my reasoning for how I treated him, I felt a weight off my chest. That weight grew lighter and lighter with each person I confided in, making our explanation of no longer having a feud unimportant. 

My story was a reason for how I acted the last almost five years with Bucky, but it wasn’t a valid one. I was happy to have moved past it and frustrated that it took me this long. 

Comfort in having Bucky as a genuine friend was a gift I starved myself of for so long, and I’m happy to know that I’ll have it from here on out. 

“If Sam asks, I didn’t do it,” Bucky sped walked into the room and tried to act casual as if he had been in the space the whole time, standing next to me at the kitchen island as I cut up fruit for my snack I'd become hyper fixated on recently. 

God bless the billionaire who could keep all fruits, in season or not, on hand.

“Got it,” I nodded unphased, never taking my eyes from the cutting board before me. 

“Have I told you thank you for never questioning my antics with Sam?” The smile in his voice is evident, and I turn to see the proof of it stretched across his features as he looks down at me. 

“You've established your appreciation once or twice since we’ve become friends,” I laugh, looking back at my work. “Grab me some blueberries from the fridge, will ya?” 

As he moved and started opening the fridge, perfect timing, Sam turned into the kitchen with steam practically blowing out of his ears. 

“What did you do?” he grunted as he stomped in, fists at his sides. 

Bucky turned from halfway in the fridge and gave him a confused look. If there was one thing I learned about him while on the mission, he was a great actor. 

“Y/N or me?” he asked, pointing between us with the carton of blueberries in his hand. “Do you want an apple too?” he asked casually, one already in his hand as if Sam wasn’t seconds from shooting him from existence with Redwing. 

“Sure, why not?” I hummed, dropping the knife and wiping my hands as I turned to Sam. “What are you going on about?” 

“I know it wasn’t Y/N, Barnes. She’s been on a mission the last two days and just got back this morning. This was a premeditated hate crime.” 

“Whoa. I’m intrigued now,” I laugh, and start placing the cut strawberries into a bowl I had out and take the apple Bucky hands off to me. 

“You want to tell her about your fun, little prank?” Sam turns his annoyance to Bucky with crossed arms, and Bucky flips on the water to wash the berries in hand. 

“I would have to know what you’re talking about in order to tell her.” 

“Don’t play coy, Barnes,” he points a finger his way, and his eyes could laser through vibranium if they wanted. 

“Help us out. Give us context,” I carry on, very intrigued with what it is Bucky had done, and start cutting the apple up. 

“As if he doesn’t already know,” Sam grumbled, walking in further. “You know how I had to buy all new long sleeve thermals because my clothes don’t fit anymore?” 

I hummed and smiled down at the fruit. “Getting too swole in the gym, as I heard you tell Steve. Trying to match his bench press will do that, trust me. I know,” I raised an arm and flexed for extra measure, and he rolled his eyes as Bucky laughed and placed the cleaned blueberries on the counter. 

“Tell me why all my new shirts don’t work…” Sam looked to Bucky with a cold, calculated stare. 

“Would work be the correct term?” Bucky poked. “Would you say shirts ‘work’ or ‘fit’?” He looks at me with the tiniest smirk on his lips. I shook my head, trying to soften the smile growing on my own.

“You sewed the end of my sleeves shut so my arm wouldn’t go all the way through!” Sam shouted, pulling the shirt from his back pocket and holding it up. 

Bucky let out a ‘pft’ sound and leaned against the counter by me. “Who’s to say I even know how to sew?” In truth, I knew he was using me as a barrier when Sam eventually fell over the edge and gave into his fantasy of choking him out. 

“Shut up!” Sam growled. “You stitch yourself up on missions half that time because you hate having the nurses do it. Obviously, you know how to work a needle and thread.” 

“Needle and floss most of the time, actually,” he shrugs, and that does it for Sam. 

“I’m gonna beat your ass!” Sam stomps hurridly to the counter, but Bucky goes on the other side, estimating his moves. 

“Have to catch me first!” he said with a wicked grin, and Sam wasted no time running after him. 

As Bucky escaped the room and Sam followed behind him, I heard a “That’s what you get for hiding all the remotes in my room while I was gone, dick!” 

_______________________

A few days later, after I got a stitch ripper and helped Sam get his thermal shirts ‘working,’ I asked Nat and Wanda to join me on a girls' trip to buy a new winter wardrobe now that the seasons had officially started turning in New York. 

When we returned, Nat was called to talk with Fury, and Banner asked Wanda to be a second set of eyes for something in the lab. 

I was left grabbing my bags by myself in the den, and just as I was about to tumble to the side with the last overstuffed brown sack, Bucky came around and caught me. His hand wrapped around my waist as the other grabbed the bag that would have been my doom. 

“Thanks,” I groaned as the weight of them pressed into my wrist from the handles. 

“What happened to all those gains you got matching Steve’s bench press?” he laughed, taking at least three bags before I waved him off, taking the others myself. 

“I gave up on that challenge a long time ago. I’ve lost the muscle mass, unfortunately.”

“You didn’t lose it. Just transferred it,” he winked, curling the fourth bag I fought him taking. 

I rolled my eyes and nodded my head toward the hall with our apartments. “You do have a vibranium arm. That gives you more of an advantage than you give credit for.” 

“Just be happy this advantage is working for you and not against you,” he kicked the back of my knee as he followed behind me. “Find anything good?” 

I turn back and see him glancing in the bag like the snoop he is. 

“If I tell you, are you going to sew my sleeves shut?” I hum, turning a corner down the hall from my door. 

“Only if you hide all my remotes and then log out of all my streaming services, so I have to put them all in one by one,” he whistles a jazzy tune. “Stear clear of that, and I’ll be nice.” 

“Ooo,” I cringe, turning and looking at him as I put my thumbprint on the door to unlock it. “He got you with the minor inconvenience prank. Those are the worst.”

“Minor was an understatement. Hence the retaliation.”

We both go inside, and Bucky places his bags on the couch while I dump the remaining ones on my bed. 

“Thanks for the help,” I smile, stretching from the long day out, and shrug off my coat as I settle. 

“No problem,” he replies, but I don’t hear him move to leave, so once I throw my coat off completely, I turn and give him a look. He’s watching me intently, and I feel almost bare under his gaze. 

“Was there something-”

“Can I ask you something?” he cuts me off, and his mood shifts. 

“Um, yeah. Sure. What’s up?” I turn to him and give him my full attention cause it seems serious. 

He hesitates at first and almost looks nervous as he contemplates how to ask me whatever it is. 

“Are you doing anything tonight?” he looks around my room towards the living space. 

I follow his gaze, trying to see if I’m missing something. “Plans that I can think of... No. Why?”

“I was wonder- well. I was- I was wondering if you’d want to maybe- I mean, if you’re up for it, of course, possibly maybe, watch a movie or something?” he gets out, and oh my God. I’ve never seen him fumble over his words like this before. 

“Watch a movie?” I recap as I blink out of the idea that Bucky is 100% nervous. “You and me or with the rest of the team?”

He lets out a small chuckle and rubs the back of his neck. 

“You and me. If you’re ok with that,” he answers, looking at me bashfully. 

“I’d be up for that,” I smile and my stomach does a little flip even if I’m not sure where he’s going with this. But the teenage girl who never got to experience this before is doing cartwheels. “What movie were you thinking?” 

He seems to have a permanent smile now because of my answer, and I can’t lie and say the one on my face doesn’t hurt a little from how wide it is. 

“Lady's choice. I’ll bring one of those fruit bowls you like to make and maybe-”

“I made some cookies this morning. I hid them in the pantry because we all know Tony and Sam would have finished them off before I had a chance even to smell them from the oven,” I rush out. 

“You’re baking tends to have that effect on many people around here. I kind of miss when I was the one and only recipient of it,” he laughs. “Even if I wasn’t lying about gaining a few pounds.” 

I roll my eyes at that and start to walk to the door, stopping to put a hand on his shoulder. “We both know that your metabolism is far too magical for that to be a long-term problem.” 

“True, but I’m not against testing that theory,” he shrugs, bumping my shoulder with his own as he walks with me. 

I stop right before reaching the door and turn to him with a grin and blush I cannot control. 

“Bucky, is this a date?” 

As if he’s so sure of himself now, the nerves melt off him; he says, “I was hoping we could count it as one this time. Considering all the others were fake, even if I don't count most of them that way...”

Marvel Tags:

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Mr. & Mrs. Hunt Series:

@jackiehollanderr @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @theroyalmanatee @wintrsoldrluvr @alexakeyloveloki  @bxckybxrnes24 @lillianacristina @selella @heletsmelovehim @lovelybaka @julvrs @mostlymarvelgirl @heletsmelovehim @learisa @bubblegumbeautyqueen @that-d-bitch @rabbitrabbit12321

[slavicdollie]

My bestfriends brother ⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Summary: Things don't go as planned when your close friend invites you to watch the new Johnny Cage movie.

Notes: Post-mk1 story and Bi-hans betrayal never happened. AFAB reader isn't one of earthrealms champions just a cool girl Tomas started to become friends.

Content Warnings:NSFW, dub-con fingerbang, small temperature play ,female masturbation.

Chinese culture was a beautiful sight but she still loathed her father for moving here, leaving behind her old friends and memories. She struggled to learn the language and felt outcasted amongst her peers all but one, a silver haired man named Tomas the same age as her. He knew what it felt like to be different from everyone else. A friendship began to spark between the two of them sharing stories of the past and present. Tomas was a good listener and sometimes she just needed to get things off her chest.

It had taken a lot of convincing to allow her at the fire temple Kuai liang was content with her visiting considering she looked as if she had never fought in her life, she put an end to that assumption when showing off her meteor hammer skills,she had shown interest in martial arts from a young age. Both Kuai Liang and Tomas looked impressed they had never seen a warrior move so beautifully and Tomas was practically drooling.

Bi-han however was not too fond of having a stranger enter their home let alone train with her brothers whilst not being lin kuei.

"I promise I am not a threat Grandmaster I simply enjoy the company of Tomas and practicing how to use my meteor hammer in a professional sense." Tomas felt his heart race at her statement.

Bi-han only grunted a popular gesture of his," You are no lin kuei do not presume to address me as Grandmaster." As he walked away stoicly, she began to admire him his handsome face and hot physique could not go unnoticed.

She became more comfortable around Tomas even making jests about wanting to fuck his brother, "Yeah I'd totally freeze my tongue on Bi-han's flag pole" Tomas laughed awkwardly hiding how uncomfortable he was and he looked almost...hurt?

She found herself becoming more comfortable around the lin kuei trio kuai liang appreciated her fire puns but Bi-han only shot her deathly glares.

"Are you ready to have your mind blown?" Tomas asked with a stupid grin he was excited to be apart of Johnny cage's new movie even if someone else was casted he was interested on how they would portray him. "Didn't know ninjas were allowed TV's" actually Tomas and Johnny had convinced Bi-han to install one.

Tomas and Y/n sat on the soft couch sharing popcorn. Tomas was blushing due to how close her leg were to his,she was wearing a skirt but he knew not to look at it she'd probably think he was some kind pervert and never want to speak to him again. Their faces were glued to the screen until interrupted by a deep voice. "What are you two morons doing?" Tomas jumped at the sound of Bi-hans voice but Y/n just smiled and replied "Watching the movie about you guys, the guy Johnny got to play you really captures your essence" The actor had been grumpy and mascular just like Bi-han.

Bi-han let out an annoyed grunt,"I told Cage our victory is not for entertainment" although he disproved of the movie being made he still wanted to see what the fuss was all about, motioning for Tomas to move up now sitting in the middle, between his adopted brother and his friend who he found to be alluring.

Bi-han removed the popcorn from her lap and gave it to Tomas that may have been the kindest thing Bi-han had done for him yet his only intention was to get a view of Y/N's skirt. It was a black plaid skirt with a pink ribbon around the middle that was above knee length. 'Why is he staring at me' Y/n began to think while Tomas was too focused laughing at the movie. Bi-han stared at her as a predator stared at it's prey. She looked at him for a split second making eye contact only to quickly look down and play with her fingers which was a common thing for her to do when nervous.

This action only annoyed the cryomancer next to her causing him to pull her hands apart placing them on her sides. He turned to look at Tomas seeing him stuck on the screen like a kid at a candy store, Bi-han rolled his eyes and looked back to the girl next to him. He begun rubbing his rough hands on her gentle thighs. His hands were cold she shivered at his touch. He put a lock of her hair behind her ear almost as a way to reassure her everything was going to be okay.

She subconsciously started rocking her hips and he slowly started to put his hand under her skirt reaching her cotton panties. Pushing her panties to the side and entering two fingers in her slit while she parted her legs, turning to look at Tomas who was oblivious to what was going on. The ninja used his cryomancer abilities to form solid ice on his fingertips. She whimpered softly at that, quickly covering her mouth to prevent Tomas from looking over. Bi-han started moving his fingers in and out of her wet pussy. She wanted to moan and tell him to fuck her right now,who cares if Tomas was there. She was a blushing and sweating mess Bi-han wanted to make fun of her for her reaction but did not want to draw attention to it.

Thank the elder gods for the volume of the TV or else Tomas would be hearing the sound of his friend's pussy as she was getting fingerbanged by his older brother. The finger fucking went from slow and gentle to rough and fast tears started to form from the inner corners of her eyes,Bi-han noticed this and wiped them away and started going slower and she tried to keep in her moans with her hand. She was about to cum and accidentally removed her hand from her mouth,"AAAERR THAT WAS A GOOD FIGHT SCENE" she tried to play her orgasm off as a reaction to the film. Bi-han smirked and Tomas only said "I know right!" not judging her reaction. Bi-han grabbed the popcorn bowl from Tomas and giving it to the girl he just dispoiled. His fingers were still covered in her juices she opened her mouth to put the popcorn in her mouth but instead was greeted with bi-hans jizzed covered fingers shoved in her mouth she need not be told what to do and started sucking her mess from his rough fingers.

She had completely forgotten the plot of the movie she was watching and only shooting smiles at Bi-han and wondering what other parts of his body are cold. After the movie, Tomas got up and offered Y/N to stay for dinner. "You know it's pretty late I should get going home." She refused awkwardly. "Did you enjoy the movie?" Bi-han asked with an unreadable expression.Tomas was taken aback since when does Bi-han care about the opinion of others especially on irrelevant things like a movie directed by Johnny but the girl about to leave knew he was not referring to the movie,"it was nice...I've never experienced something like that before" she smiled at him. Tomas offered to walk her home but she needed to be alone and given time to think.

'Did that really just happen??The always angry dude just fingered me while he was sitting next to his brother!!???' The whole scene felt like it came out of a bad porno. When she arrived home she went to straight to bed staring at her ceiling contemplating if this was a dream or if it actually happend. 'Of course it happend Y/N' she slightly hit herself on the head. Her mind begun to wander again thinking of Bi-han how he smirked at her after her release how good his fingers felt inside of her. She put her hands inside her underwear and tried to recreate Bi-hans movements her hands weren't as cold as his but you have to work with what you've got.

The skirt:

[beatrixstonehill2]

Ashley and Jacklyn were two trans men who met online, in an Instagram group about fantasies involving detransition. Both were on T for a few years and strongly considered top surgery, but deep down they both had a different idea of what their futures looked like.... They met and chatted for a couple weeks, eventually moving in together, throwing out all of their boy clothes in favor of lingerie and other very girly clothes, embracing their bodies and becoming a couple of bimbos, doing porn for fun. They knew they just had to both get knocked up and sport the perfect bimbo body, with a belly carrying at least triplets for the summer. They didn't want any old porn actor to knock them up, so Ashley had an idea.....

Without telling her friend, Melody, that she detransitioned, she called and asked her to come by and visit her new boyfriend..... When Melody visited, she was shocked to see that Ashley completely detransed, and her 'boyfriend' was a buxom bimbo with a voice deepened by testosterone. Ashley told Jacklyn that Melody was her trans girl bff, and they've known each other since forever. Ashley walked up to Melody, giggling, telling her, "Mel, I know you had a crush on me. Before you went and transitioned into this fake girl, you were just another horny boy that stared at my chest, now look at you."

"I, um...... I don't know. We were young!" Melody said.

"God, look at his boy-tits. Jesus Christ they're fucking huge," Jacklyn said, groping Melody's breasts.

"I know.... almost makes him look like a girl." Ashley joined in, grabbing and kneading Melody's other breast.

"But just look at him, walking around in clothes like this, flaunting his cock." Jacklyn massaged Melody's noticeable bulge. "Fuck, it'd get so big if he stopped taking estrogen."

"I-I'd never do that...." Melody said, nervously letting Ashley and Jacklyn fondle her.

"Awww, come on, Mel," Ashley encouraged. "You're really telling me you don't want a massive cock to play with?"

"No! I could never detrans! I love being a girl...."

Jacklyn bit her her, stroking Melody's already sizeable cock. "You'd make such a pretty boy. Well, you already do, since you are a boy..... Girls don't have big hard cocks, dummy....."

"Guys....."

Ashley started fondling Melody's cock, too. "Man, these boy-tits and this cock. You have everything.... But I still say you ought to lose the boobs. Go on testosterone. Get this cock as big as possible."

"Guys, stop. I'm gonna cum...."

"Poor thing." Jacklyn pouted, massaging Melody's breast and cock harder. "So pathetic. It should be illegal for pervy boys like you to pretend to be girls..... I bet you jerk off in the girls' bathroom for fun, don't you?"

"N-No...." Melody looked away. "Well, sometimes....."

"Good little pervert!" Ashley said, slipping her hand into Melody's panties. "Go on, I know you have a crush on me. Doesn't matter that we both played dress up. I lived as a boy for years, yet I'm only a dumb breeder, and you? All the estrogen and makeup in the world can't stop you from being a perverted boy who's addicted to jerking off. It's your nature, darling...."

Melody came in her lingerie onesie, rolling back her eyes, shooting about three ropes of clear cum. "Fuck....."

"Awww, is that it? Hold on," Jacklyn said, returning a few second later. "Don't squirm, this won't hurt." She had grabbed one of her old syringes and filled it with some of her remaining testosterone.

Ashley giggled. "I thought we got rid of all that?"

"When you mentioned having a fake girl as a best friend, I figured we might need it....." Jacklyn injected Melody's hip full of T.

"No.....! Please!" Melody cooed, drooling lightly.

"Yes, my dear," Ashley said, turning Melody's head her way. "How's this? We're going to pump you full of T, get that cock over fifteen inches so you're hung like a horse, and you'll become our girly little boy-bitch? You'll get us pregnant, but only be allowed to cum when it's time to knock us up. We'll dress you like a perverted sissy still, but those big fat boy-tits have got to go. OK? You'll live with us, and answer to us. Are there any questions?"

Melody shook her head 'no'. "I'll..... be your perverted stud sissy...... you can use me however you please...... ❤️"

"I knew you had a crush on me after all these years. Now then, you need to practice on Jacklyn and I all day, learning to fuck like a boy, so you can get us nice and pregnant when that T kicks in, all right, slave?"

"Whatever you desire....."

[pippin-katz]

Monty's Redemption

I realized why I want Monty to return for season 2 (if we get it). Obviously, love Joshua Colley; fantastic actor that I actually recognized from a Broadway miscast performance from way back in 2016. He played Eliza along with two other little boys and performed The Schuyler Sisters. Tangent: For those who did not already know this, you should absolutely watch it here. He was so good that I remembered him constantly whenever Hamilton was brought up. It happened enough that I went and followed him a few years later. It was a crazy while watching him, cause he felt familiar, but I didn't why, then I saw his name in the credits, and I was like, "Isn't that the name of the kid who played Eliza in that miscast? I'm pretty sure that's his name, let me check." Boom! It was him, and I immediately rewatched the miscast, and it was so crazy because his face has not changed at all! Like, obviously it's matured, but it's the same fucking face. Some people look completely different when they grow up, and some people literally look the same. (I'm one of these people. My face has not changed since I was a fucking toddler. Couple that with my short height and you have a childhood of bullying then an early adulthood of being mistaken for a child. RIP 🥲) Joshua's face is literally the same, it was so crazy lmfao

But other than loving the actor, I really want Monty to come back! I think it would be adorable if he turned back into a human, and joined the squad. He and Edwin would be an adorable QPR, and Edwin could teach him about being a human, since he probably only knows the bare minimum Esther told him so he could be in disguise. I actually wrote an essay about this a little while ago that I might rewrite.

But it is more than just wanting him back for the cuteness and fun of having him around. My urge for him to return feels too strong, too pinpointed, and I couldn't figure out why for a while.

Surprise, surprise! I figured it out!

It has to do with redemption! Charles literally says it when he pushes the backpack to him when he couldn't reach it.

Here's the thing, obviously I'd like him to come back to get a full redemption arc, but I figured out why I'm so set on him getting one. It's specifically Edwin.

There's something Edwin says about Monty that rubs me the wrong way. It's during the conversation he has with Niko on the roof. He says, "He was a good liar, for a crow." It always made my skin prickle, just a little bit.

It's because calling Monty a "liar" feels like an unfair label. Did he lie? Yes, absolutely. But he also didn't.

Everything Monty tells Edwin behind the butcher shop is true. The only lie is the reason he wasn't free to make his own decisions before. It wasn't a coma, but he was still trapped and "in the dark" metaphorically speaking. Even what he says about feeling braver is true.

He's essentially Esther's property; she can do with him what she likes. She quite literally rips him apart and puts him back together, making him a human against his will. Monty says, "I never asked to be human. With all these... feelings."

She forces a massive change in his entire being, mind, and life. Imagine how jarring it would be to suddenly not have wings that you were born with? To have no tail, beak, or claws? To be something completely other than you?

It was simpler for Monty when he was a crow. He was probably scared all the time, and just did as he was told. But once he becomes human, if you pay attention, you can see immediately that Monty does not actually like Esther that much, nor enjoys having to help her. He speaks his mind, and backtalks her, a couple times.

"That little slither bug is the size of a bus. It could afford to miss a few meals." - Ep05 When he says this, he says it with actual disdain in his voice. He's not just being sarcastic about it. Monty's voice and expression when he says it could miss meals looks like he genuinely doesn't like it.

"Well, I mean, you stood bleeding on the shore so Lilith would come out of the ocean and grant you eternal life. She never said you had to stay young and beautiful." - Ep05 Given how much she believes Lilith tricked her, and how much she cares about being young and beautiful, this was an incredibly ballsy thing for Monty to say.

"You didn't tell me that mushroom thing was gonna completely eradicate them. Or how gruesome it would be. Or how to-" - Ep06 Monty is genuinely distraught over this, and saying she didn't tell him implies his actions would have been different if he'd known. How so? We'll never know, but it's possible he would've tried to sabotage or refuse to help her. "Tried" being a key word here because it's clear that she had little-to-no care for Monty at all. He obeys her, but gets revealed by the Cat King, and she rips him up for it. There's really no way he could've survived if he'd tried to refuse/stop her.

Speaking of genuine feelings, Monty did actually like them. Yes, "them" plural. He says, "-gonna completely eradicate them." Monty could've said "him", referring to Edwin since he's the one he's in love with, but he doesn't. He's upset about both of them being destroyed. Earlier when Esther gives him the napkin of fungus, he asks her what she's going to do with Crystal. If Edwin was the only one he cared about, he wouldn't have bothered to ask.

He's not supposed to care at all! If he was still a crow, he couldn't have asked. He'd just go do it. He's her familiar; he pretty much has to. Based on Monty's emotional responses, and the fact that he helps Charles at the end, it seems like he has free will. And you can say, "Why didn't he refuse sooner if he really cared?" and at the end of the day, that doesn't matter. She would have killed him regardless of what point in her plot he betrayed her. He doesn't want to die! That's a very reasonable response to the situation.

The affection Monty has for Edwin is completely real, and develops quickly. After their first meeting, they're swapping books, and Monty seems to have actually read it. Saying it was beautiful is a generic compliment, but how would he know it was funny?

He was genuinely looking forward to seeing Edwin, and disappointed that the plans were canceled.

Esther even says, "Monty, ew. You're not besotted with that little brat, are you?" Funny how he actually never responds to that question here, but immediately shuts the notion down after Edwin rejects him.

And it's when Edwin tells him sincerely that he is his friend that Monty makes the decision to try and get him out of the forest.

I said in my other essay and earlier in this one that betraying Esther is a death sentence. There's no way she wouldn't find out if he helped them escape, but he was going to try anyway.

Monty may have lied about his identity as Esther's crow, but he didn't lie about the rest of who he is. That is why Edwin referring to him as a "liar", plain and simple, feels wrong. Monty deserves the chance to talk to Edwin, to actually explain himself, not under the threat of the Forest Elemental destroying Edwin, and without the Cat King's jeering. Honestly, I think he only ran because of the way Edwin called him a crow as though that on its own was disgusting or insulting rather than the real problem which is him being Esther's crow. I don't think Edwin would've actually cared about Monty originally being a crow, especially given the fact that the Cat King literally switches back and forth between human and cat. He's a human now (in that moment).

The way Edwin calls him a "liar" makes me feel like he didn't believe Monty when he said that he wasn't pretending, that it started off as that, but that it had changed into real feelings for him. It feels wrong for Edwin not to know/acknowledge that, especially if Charles tells him about the help he provided against Esther.

That it is what I want most if Monty is brought back.

(ko-fi)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for watching a movie as a family without including my dad? Writing it out, I think I know the answer, but this has still been bugging me.

Around Thanksgiving I (30s) visited home. It was also a trip to see for my mom (late 60s) for her birthday, so I was there for a few days longer than a Thanksgiving trip would normally account for. My brother (30s) and his wife (30s) visited for her birthday too. My dad (early 70s) was there as well. They've been married over 30 years. Originally I'd planned to take everybody out to see a movie as a birthday present for my mom...but it turned out there was literally nothing at the theater that my mom was interested in at all. The town is pretty small, and the options were limited. So instead, we started out with a nice dinner, and family board game run-through of a trivia game we all thought we'd have some fun with. My mom ended up winning, which is rare and was not deliberate, and it wrapped the game up way faster than we'd anticipated.

My dad immediately went back into the living room after the game ended, openly a little annoyed that mom had won a trivia game based on something he considers himself the family expert in. He watches old reruns of the show he's seen a million times on a loop every day, and it can be pulling teeth to get him to do anything else. It was just a fluke, but something the rest of us considered a pleasant surprise since none of us had expected she'd win. But he was annoyed. Given that it was still early, Mom suggested we find a movie to watch online, so we could all wind down before bed with something the whole family could enjoy.

Dad said no. Now this feels like important context: I...have a lot of problems with my dad. I love him, but he can be extremely emotionally immature. Downright verbally abusive at times. And very petty. I'm in therapy in no small part due to some of the insecurities he instilled in me over the years. I've worked hard to set basic boundaries with him. He also has multiple medical issues, and I'm pretty sure he has untreated depression and other mental health problems he refuses to acknowledge that contribute to him flying off the handle at a moment's notice. That, combined with the fact that my mom will 100% never, ever leave him, because she was raised in a very specific mindset that she's never been fully able to shake...means my brother and I usually have to grit our teeth when he starts ranting/yelling/complaining during a visit, or we'd just end up ruining the day for our mom. She's done so much for us, and we just wanted her to have a good visit. So, that's what I did for most of the trip. I breathed deep when my dad openly mocked my stutter, and refused to get in a fight about it. I stopped myself from getting visibly upset when he tried to feed my cat table scraps even when I told him the cat needs a special diet. On other days I tried to watch his old shows with him, and ignored the sexist comments he'd make about the female leads, all for the sake of keeping the peace.

But, it was Mom's birthday. And she wanted to watch a movie.

And Dad said no.

He refused to give up his marathon of old westerns from 60 years ago to watch a new movie with his family on the big tv in the living room.

My mom seemed disappointed, so I suggested we watch one on my laptop in the kitchen instead. Without my dad, if he really wanted to watch his show instead. She agreed, and my brother, his wife, my mom and I filed into the kitchen, sat in less-than-comfy chairs, and watched a fantasy heist film that I'd thought they would all enjoy. And they did. My brother was pleasantly surprised at the quality of the movie (I'd already vouched for it being good, none of the others had seen it previously) His wife kept making notes for her dnd campaign. My mom found it hilarious, and liked that some actors from another show she liked were in it.

My dad stayed in the living room, watching his marathon.

Partway through the movie, he came in and asked us what we were watching. We told him, and he passed through the kitchen for something he needed, then said that we were being too loud. More context: the kitchen is right next to the living room, but my dad turns the tv up so loud in there it can get physically painful to be in the room with him. He refuses to get hearing aides, and only recently relented on subtitles. He also has a habit of screaming at anyone who tries to talk for a long time when his shows are on and they're in earshot, even if they're in a different room. We thought he couldn't hear it over his tv, and so when he said something we said sorry and that we'd try to keep it down, but we could already barely hear it through the laptop speakers. We already had subtitles turned on to make sure we didn't miss anything. When we told him that, he got even more annoyed. He asked how we'd like it if he turned the tv up so loud we couldn't understand anything, then proceeded to go into the living room and do just that, just as I was trying to figure out how much more we could lower the volume without losing our whole experience. We called in that we were already turning it down, and he finally turned his volume back down as well. We finished our movie, turning the volume down during action scenes and up during speaking scenes so we could actually hear the dialog. We enjoyed the rest of the film, and then people started getting ready for bed, and my mom went to check on my dad. She told me a few minutes later that he was hurt that we'd watched the movie without him. That he felt left out. I told her that he'd had multiple opportunities to join us, and that is was his choice not to watch with us. And honestly, the fact that he wouldn't give up the real tv for a couple hours so she could have a birthday movie was really upsetting to me.

She still seemed to feel bad that he was left out, and I'm a little worried that he might've sulked for days afterwards, leaving my mom in an even more stressful environment after I left. Am I the asshole for insisting my mom get to watch a movie on her birthday? And would I be the asshole if I told my dad off for what I consider to be extremely selfish behavior?

Also before anyone asks, no, I'm not cutting him off. It's literally impossible to do that without pretty much cutting off my mom as well, and she absolutely doesn't deserve that. And yes, I've offered up my apartment as a place she can stay if she ever needs to. Repeatedly. She hasn't taken me up on it yet.

What are these acronyms?

[jackles010378]

Dancing in the Rain

(Jensen Ackles x You)

Jensen messed up, now he has to find a way to win you back.

Warnings - smidge of angst, plenty of fluff 🥰

The rain came down in torrents, drenching the streets of Vancouver. Y/N huddled under her umbrella, her heart pounding as she tried to make sense of what had just happened. Jensen Ackles, the charming actor she had admired from afar had just messed up big time.

They had met at a charity event, and sparks had flown instantly. Jensen’s smile had been like sunshine breaking through the clouds, and Y/N had felt herself falling. Their relationship blossomed with each passing day.

But, after a few months of dating, he’d said something thoughtless, something that had cut deep. And now, here they were, standing on opposite sides of the street, rain pouring down, their eyes locked in a silent battle.

Jensen had never been good with words. He was used to scripts and lines, but when it came to matters of the heart, he stumbled. He watched Y/N from across the street, her wet hair clinging to her face, her eyes stormy, the rain water mixing with her tears. He knew he had to fix this.

He crossed the street, his shoes splashing in puddles. “Y/N,” he said, his voice low. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. It was stupid, and I regret it.”

She looked at him, her expression guarded. “You hurt me,” she whispered. “I thought you were different.”

Jensen took a step closer, the rain soaking through his shirt. “I am different,” he said. “I’ve never met anyone like you. And I don’t want to lose you.”

Y/N’s heart wavered slightly. She had seen glimpses of vulnerability in Jensen’s eyes, and she wondered if he was sincere. But she couldn’t let herself be hurt again. “What are you going to do about it?” she challenged.

Jensen’s eyes sparkled. “I’m going to win you back,” he declared. “Starting now.”

And so, the grand gesture began. Jensen showed up at her doorstep with a bouquet of sunflowers, their bright yellow petals a stark contrast to the gray sky.

He took her to their favorite coffee shop, where they’d had their first awkward conversation. He even sang her a song, his voice raw and unpolished, but full of emotion. Y/n thought Jensen had gone to get them another drink, but instead she heard his voice echoing throughout the quaint coffee shop.

As she looked up to find where he was, she locked eyes with him standing on a small stage guitar resting on his thigh, "y/n, I know I messed up, but please believe me when I say I would do anything for you. Even get up and sing in front of these nice people".

Y/n's eyes widened as everyone turned to look at her, her cheeks glowing brighter than the sun. He started to strum the guitar and began to sing ........

How far will you go

You should know

You'll be on my mind

Said you were leavin'

But never said when you'd be comin' back home and

I can't wait another day

Cause you know

I'd go to the end of the world for you

If only

You return to me

Ride with me

Round the lakeside

Got a raincoat and a veil

It's been so long since you went away

Took all of your lovin' and left me with nothin' and

When you go

What a shame

Cause you know

I'd go to the end of the world for you

If only

You return to me

Oh, and maybe I deserved it

To be left this way

I'm not sure

How I was so blind

All I know is that if you return it

And kept it here to stay

I'd lose my mind

I'd lose my mind

Cause you know

I'd go to the end of the world for you

To the end of the world for you.....

The crowd in the coffee shop applauded as Jensen finished singing. He made his way back over to you and sat opposite you once again. "I meant it y/n, I'd go to the end of the world for you". You looked over to Jensen with tears in your eyes "I know you would. But you really hurt me Jay".

Jensen looked out the window of the coffee shop and noticed something that pulled at a memory. Something you had told him when you first met. An idea popped into his head. He held his hand out to you which you gracefully accepted. "Do you trust me y/n?" He asked staring down at you, with a pleading look in his eyes. You nodded and let him guide you out of the coffee shop.

Jensen led Y/N to an empty park, the rain starting to fall. He twirled her around, their laughter echoing in the misty air. They danced until they were both breathless, raindrops clinging to their eyelashes.

“I love you,” Jensen said, his voice cracking. “I love your passion, your kindness, your stubbornness. I love everything about you, I also remember you said you have always wanted to dance in the rain".

Y/N’s heart swelled. She kissed him, raindrops mixing with tears again. “I love you too,” she whispered. “But no more messing up, okay?”

Jensen nodded, pulling her close. “No more,” he promised. “Just us, dancing in the rain.”

And so, they danced as the rain fell down on them, showing their love was and will be stronger than any storm.

TAGLIST: @k-slla @cevansbaby-dove @kaleldobrev @janineb86 @deans-daydream @alternativeprincess94 @nescavaneck @angelbabyyy99

[thelaurenshippen]

So sorry if this has been asked before, but I’m curious on your reasoning for casting yourself as Sam. Do you think you’re a lot like her? Do you think that no one could portray her exactly the way you wanted to? Thanks!

thank you so much for asking! I love that the show has been around long enough and made its own way in the world enough that folks may not know the origin story!

I actually started The Bright Sessions because I wanted a role to play. I was an actress before I was a writer and really wanted to give myself an interesting and fun role to play. so, from the start, I knew that I would be playing someone major in the show - I flirted very briefly with the idea of playing Dr. Bright, but ultimately, Sam was the character that started it all and she is me. I mean, not really, there are a lot of differences between us, but she was very much inspired by my own experiences.

I was 23 when I wrote the pilot script and very, very lonely. I'd also been having regular panic attacks since I was a kid that I never really told anyone about (extremely ironically, writing TBS was what finally got me to go to therapy). Sam was the first time I tried to externalize that experience and, while there are certainly plenty of actors out there who could do better/more interesting things with Sam, she was so close to my heart and intertwined with the heart of the show that I couldn't imagine anyone inherently understanding her in the way that I did.

I hope that answers your question! if TBS ever does make its way to an onscreen adaptation, I'd be so interested to see another actor take a crack at her.

[unique-high]

Hey gurrl I'm new to your blog I absolutely love you stories and was wondering if I could ask one for cha eunwoo I can find an blk female book on him and it frustrating 😭😭

Well the company there are in is hybe

Cha eunwoo is a well established idol and actor while yn is still a trainee that eunwoo fell in love with and as been flirting with but she is an oblivions person so until he told her before she knew. Cha eunwoo age same as current while since yn is a trainee I would say 18

Soo sorry for the long ass quest😘🙏🏾

a/n: omg sorry it took me forever to freaking get to this! Please forgive me. I wrote this in one night so I didn't have much time to check for grammar so I'm deeply sorry for any mistakes.

Eunwoo waits for you after practice. Every day. Always at the door. He waits. The other trainees would playfully poke fun singing KISSING the nursery rhyme as they walk out giggling passing the older male. You're sweaty, your limbs feel like jelly and a tired smile smoothes onto your face every time you see Eunwoo. And damn he loves your smile. It reminds him of the early days of summer when the weather still felt a little nicer.

Sometimes you and Eunwoo didn't need to speak. There was that silent talk that said more. When his eyes said more too but you never notice the way he looked at you. The little pleading behind his dark eyes for you to look at him a little longer and the little hint of love hidden in his irises for you to find.

There's a close enough space between you and Eunwoo as you walk beside him. He intentionally lets the back of his hand brush against yours, just that brief moment of skin-to-skin contact was enough for him though he craved more than that.

“Practice go well?”

“I kept getting the steps wrong again and the teacher scolded me.” you pouted.

Eunwoo pets your head. “Do you want to practice with me?”

He knew the dance by heart. He sometimes watched in on you and other trainees to see how you were progressing.

“Oh...No I know you're super busy preparing for your new drama. I don't want to bother you."

“You won't be,” he said. “You just need someone to fully break everything down to you.”

“Thanks. I'd really appreciate that.”

For you, Eunwoo doesn't mind doing things like this even if his schedule is going to be super busy. He can always make the time for you.

Eunwoo took you to your favorite cafe, down the street from the company's building. Instead of you ordering for yourself, Eunwoo orders for you, knowing your drink combo by heart.

You never had any real friends growing up, even with the other trainees you've been with for almost a year, you still weren't sure if you could consider them friends. But with Eunwoo, you consider him to be your best friend. You and he did the things best friends do, talk in the way best friends do, send TikTok videos back and forth, with “Lol this reminds me of you.” or “This is so us.”

Eunwoo pays for your drink like he always does. And you would shove your money at him to take it. He never does. He's a good friend.

It's when you're both sitting outside the cafe, enjoying the nice weather that Eunwoo is staring at you, watching you drink from your cup. He's staring so long that you become a little insecure.

You choke on a laugh asking, “W-Why are you staring?”

“Staring?” Eunwoo's thick dark brown cock's up.

“Yeah...At me.”

“I'm not starting.”

“You're doing it now.”

“I'm not.” Then he looks away down at his drink while folding the corners of a white paper napkin that's under his cup. “You, um... You look really pretty today.”

You laughed. He expected that. Your voice carries with the slight breeze that pushes by. “I'm not.” You said. “And after sweating all day, I'm surprised you don't think I smell.”

You raise your arm to get a whiff of yourself. Not so bad.

Eunwoo lets himself look at you. But don't full-blown stare at you. He tries to focus on the small things on you; like the yellow mustard stain on the front of your baby blue crop top that you tried your hardest to clean after lunch, then he looks at the lavender scrunchie on your wrist that he gave you back in April, you always wore it as good luck. He looks at the baby hairs on your arm. Then lastly, at the scar on your chin, you had gotten when you were five from your older cousin.

“Even after practice, you're still pretty,” he said.

Now that you think about it. This was Eunwoo's first time calling you pretty and you weren't sure why that coming from him made you feel like you were dancing on your tippy toes.

“You never called me pretty before.”

But he has a billion times in his head.

“Y/n, just accept my compliment.” he smiles. Of course he wanted to move along with the whole pretty thing because damn he wouldn't be able to explain why he thought you were pretty.

Or maybe he could. Or maybe he couldn't.

If someone were to ask him to name the five things he thought were pretty about you, he'd say, “Five isn't enough.”

“Why am I suddenly pretty?” You pressed him playfully.

Eunwoo rips the corner of the napkin under his drink, balls it in a tiny ball, and throws it at your face.

“Did I say pretty?”

“You did.”

“Hmm, I think you misheard me.”

“I didn't.”

“I think you did.” he laughs.

“Why are you denying it now?”

“Denying what?”

“That you called me pretty?”

“Did I call you pretty?”

“Eunwoo, stop messing with me,” you whined.

He winks at you getting up from the table and grabbing his cup and napkin. “I always thought you were pretty. I just never dared to actually say it out loud.” he walks away from the table.

You hop up grabbing your cup as you rush alongside Eunwoo. Slapping your hand out over his forehead, you checked for a fever.

“No fever,” you mumbled. Your hand fell away. “Do friends usually find their friends pretty?”

“Yeah, all the time,” Eunwoo said.

Yeah, but calling your friend pretty while you were in love with them was a different kind of pretty.

“Oh,” you said. You threw your cup in a trash can and so did Eunwoo.

“I think you're just as pretty.”

Eunwoo's face warms up. “D–Don't say that.”

“It's true though. Like your visuals are killer.” You gushed over him and damn, that made him want to stop walking and kiss you.

The walk back to the company was short. Your day wasn't over yet since you had vocal practice in the evening that lasted way later than you wanted to. You and Eunwoo linger in the company's lobby for a few minutes, just talking.

“I want to tell you something before you go,” Eunwoo said.

“Oh, What is it?”

Eunwoo looks around at the few people walking through the lobby, he grabs your hand pulling you to a more private area without listening ears. His heart beats a little faster. His hands get a little sweaty. His words are a little stuck now.

“I like being your friend.”

“Eunowoo, I like being your friend too!” you smiled up at him. And that man could have melted in his shoes.

“Being friends is nice, but I don't think I want to be friends anymore,” he said quietly.

“Did I do something wrong?” There's a creak in your voice.

Eunwoo cups your face with his warm hands that burn at your cheeks. “Of course not, Y/n.”

“Then why don't you wanna be friends anymore?”

“Because....” he paused. “I want something more with you than just a friendship.”

“What do you mean?”

Eunwoo playfully rolled his eyes. “I want us to be together.”

“We're together now.”

He laughs. “No, like I want us to be together together.”

“As in....” You trailed off.

“Boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“Ooooh like that.” you smiled warmly.

“Yeah. Like that,” he said. “I've always been in love with you.” it's the way he says it that felt like a soft landing.

“You have?”

You nod. “Yeah.”

“Since when?”

“The first time you smiled and said hello to me.”

Falling in love with you had been easy. You made it easy for him without even knowing it.

“Oh, god, not that time when I had a milk mustache.” You made a funny face that made Eunwoo laugh.

“Yeah, that time.” That was his favorite little memory of you.

You took Eunwoo by surprise when you stood on your tippy toes and kissed him. Your kiss felt like heaven, like it was the sweetest thing, your lips perfect against his, and he could kiss you every day for hours, if that's even possible.

He kissed you back, his lips moving with urgency, like if he didn't kiss you enough or make it deeper enough you would just disappear. You feel his lips pulled into a smile.

“I love you, Y/n.”

[ktempestbradford]

There is so much to talk about with this article. So much. In this post I want to focus on a specific part of it: the reactions of Lindelof and Cuse to what the writers and actors experienced. Here are several quotes [emphasis mine].

“What can I say? Other than it breaks my heart that that was Harold [Perrineau's] experience,” replied Lindelof, who said he did not recall “ever” saying that. “And I’ll just cede that the events that you’re describing happened 17 years ago, and I don’t know why anybody would make that up about me.”

Lindelof told me he didn’t remember any negative incident with an editor, adding that he seeks out input from collaborators and that he’s “never threatened anyone’s career.” Lindelof also said he had no recollection of anything Hsu Taylor said about events connected to “Ab Aeterno.” He said she was a “great writer who executed at a high level” and he’s “stricken” that she was made to feel the way she felt at that time.

Regarding the other allegations leveled at him and the show, Lindelof said he had no memory of the incidents and comments I related. He told me he was “shocked and appalled and surprised” by the incidents I described to him, and said more than once that he did not think anyone was making anything up. “I just can’t imagine that Carlton would’ve said something like that, or some of those attributions, some of those comments that you [shared]—I’m telling you, I swear, I have no recollection of those specific things. And that’s not me saying that they didn’t happen. I’m just saying that it’s literally baffling my brain—that they did happen and that I bore witness to them or that I said them. To think that they came out of my mouth or the mouths of people that I still consider friends is just not computing.”

I'm not going to quote Cuse's responses here because they all boil down to: "I don't remember doing/saying that" or "Nuh uh, that didn't happen!" which is... certainly a choice.

You're going to see a bunch of people siding with and empathizing with Lindelof and praising him for saying that what happened was wrong, etc., and I will push back every time I see it because of all those instances of him saying he doesn't recall and doesn't remember. I don't think he's lying. I do think it's indicative of an ongoing problem with him as a writer and showrunner and it needs to be called out.

I'm going to tell you a story that explains my point. Also putting it and my conclusions under a cut as this is long. Please do read.

Many years ago I became friends with a white woman writer in the SFF community who lived in NYC during some of the time I did. She knew many of the writers and editors in our community who also lived in NYC or nearby. At the time, the majority of these editors were white and most were men. She became particularly friendly with some of them.

A couple of years into our relationship we were at ReaderCon together. One day at the hotel bar I was sitting with this woman (we'll call her Karen for the purposes of this story) and two other BIPOC male authors who had both published multiple books at this point and were people that Karen felt were impressive and important. During the conversation someone (probably me?) brought up the online conversations/debates/fights currently happening about representation in the SFF genre and the way certain editors were part of the problem. I want to say this was even before RaceFail happened.

Karen revealed that she'd been talking to important people like Gordon van Gelder about the things I'd been saying online and how, well... the things I was saying were just crazy. Crazy things! I was acting so crazy.

I don't remember the exact phrasing, but I remember the repeated categorizing of me/my words as Crazy.

I also don't remember exactly what I said in response. I do remember how I felt in my body at that moment. I was suddenly flooded with, I think, adrenaline or something and I wanted to run away because otherwise I was going to start throwing things. I couldn't believe this person, who claimed to be my friend, was saying this to me.

I also remember that I felt trapped because I was in a booth and the two other writers were on either side of me so I couldn't just get up and leave. It turned out I didn't need to do that. Because immediately both of them were like: Hold up. Hold the EFF up.

They both pointed out to Karen that the things I brought up in those online discussions were real issues that did need addressing and that I wasn't crazy and the only reason she thought so was because I was a Black woman and when white people or even people perceived as being white said the same thigs I did, people in the community listened, so what the heck was even wrong with her.

I just sat there, pretty quiet, still trying to calm myself down while this all happened and also felt so very grateful for how these two guys (also friends) stood up for me without hesitating, without equivocating, without giving Karen an inch to continue to talk about me in such a way. I don't even know how that conversation ended or if I even talked to Karen again at the con. I did decide right then that I was going to pull back from our friendship because of it.

A year or so later I ended up having to have a conversation with Karen because of some nonsense she pulled at WisCon. In that conversation I mentioned the discussion we had at ReaderCon and how that truly affected my view of her, a person who was supposedly my friend and who constantly tried to say she was an ally to BIPOC. And that's when she said: What discussion?

At first I wasn't sure if she was feigning ignorance or not. The more we talked, the more I realized she wasn't. She didn't remember the incident. And in that talk I realized why: It didn't have that big of an impact on her.

Even with her being essentially told off by the other two, for her, having conversations where she casually parroted some white, male editor's racist and misogynistic view of me was of little note because she and the other people she spent a majority of time with were doing it all the time. It was just a Tuesday for her. And so after ReaderCon when she continually asked if I wanted to hang out or go on writing dates, she did so as if she had not said some absolutely egregious stuff to me weeks before. Again, to her: a Tuesday.

Having had more experience in life with certain kinds of racists, sexists, ableists, and bigots in general, I can say that this phenomenon was not specific to Karen. It is endemic with a certain kind of person who is devoted to the status quo/dominant paradigm.

So when Lindelof says that he doesn't remember doing and saying these things, he's probably not lying. Because for him, it was business as usual, a Tuesday. Normalized on a number of levels. He was a fish in water and the water was composed of racist, sexist a-holes doing whatever they wanted because no one above them put a stop to it. And that is a problem even 20ish years later.

That Lindelof had to be told he did these things and that he, in all this time, has not reflected on them, not realized on his own that what he did was terrible, apologized, and worked his butt off to not only ensure the shows he runs do not have this atmosphere but to also throw every bit of work that he can to those writers (not necessarily on his shows, but others) is proof that it continues to be a problem. And that he has a lot of work to do to atone for all these things he can't remember--starting by doing a real deep dive into why he can't.

Cuse can't be saved. I suggest we introduce him to a nice oubliette.

[shadowqueenjude]

“I risked my neck for you during your task. Was that not enough?” His metal eye whirred softly. “You offered up your name for me—after all that I said to you, all I did, you still offered up your name. Didn’t you realize I would help you after that? Oath or no oath?”

I really don't think everyone understands how significant a moment this was for the Feyre-Lucien relationship. Even if I don't agree with this take, there is an argument to be made that everything Lucien did for Feyre before was only for Tamlin. But the moment Feyre offered her name in exchange for his life? Lucien's loyalty wasn't just to Tamlin anymore; it was to her. That means saying, "TO YOUR LEFT!" taking the whipping, coming back to see how she's doing, all that? That was for Feyre, not Tamlin. This applies in ACOMAF too. Why do you think he told Feyre not to ask him to pick? Because his loyalty is to both now. Him pleading with Tamlin to let her train? For her. Him hiding the engagement ring? For her. Him seeking a way out of the Night Court bargain? For her. All of it. Him trying to bring her back from Night? FOR HER. Y'all forget nobody is supposed to know that the Night Court is not really "evil." “I did it for you, too, you know.” Cold, hard words. “I went with him to get you back.” Why do people ignore this and act like Lucien only cares about Tamlin? Bull fucking shit. He didn't TRUST Feyre in ACOWAR because he's smart and he knew she was up to something. Miss girl thought she was such a great actor but Lucien saw right through it.💀 And yeah OF COURSE Lucien was worried about Elain in ACOWAR. She's...his mate???? Y'all be fr and stop taking everything Feyre says at face value. “And that’s why you’re here. Not because it’s right and he’s always been wrong, but just so you can get what you think you’re owed.” Y'all think that Feyre is spitting facts or whatever? Did it ever occur to you that maybe, just maybe...she's an unreliable narrator? Lucien has never ONCE acted entitled to her and SJM made sure to have Lucien call out Feyre for being a hypocrite.

“You have the gall to question my priorities regarding Elain—yet what was your motive where I was concerned? Did you plan to spare me from your path of destruction because of any genuine friendship, or simply for fear of what it might do to her?”

And how did Feyre reply? “You would have been fine.” Were it not for Ianthe, a problem Feyre exasperated by her own admission, Ianthe wouldn't have even been a problem. She'd backed off of Lucien. I had done my job too well, provoked her jealousy too much with every instance I’d found ways to get Lucien to touch me in her presence, in Tamlin’s presence.

Using a victim like this is disgusting. DISGUSTING. The only thing Feyre ever did for Lucien and it was a problem that she caused in the first place. Oh yeah and then you take Lucien's words for fact too: “You are a better friend to me, Feyre,” he said quietly, “than I ever was to you.”

Yeah...fucking bullshit. Generally I'd call Lucien the most reliable narrator considering he's the smartest, but recalling this when Feyre went into his mind? Thoughts slammed into me, images and memories, a pattern of thinking and feeling that was old, and clever, and sad, so endlessly sad and guilt-ridden, hopeless—

I'd just say it's guilt that he wasn't able to do more talking. But he did everything he could without literally dying for Feyre. Or did you forget this? I didn’t want to know what was happening in that room, what he’d done to Lucien, what Lucien had even looked like to cause that pulse of power.

[justzawe]

Zawe Ashton reveals she got into the 'best shape' of her life in The Marvels but had to reshoot the film after becoming pregnant

Zawe Ashton has revealed she got into 'the best shape' of her life while filming The Marvels but ended up having to reshoot the film after becoming pregnant.

The actress, 39, portrays the warrior Dar-Benn in the film opposite stars, Brie Larson, Teyonah Parris and Iman Vellani.

Zawe, who admitted to being 'traumatized' from working in Hollywood, felt the grueling training regime required for the blockbuster 'empowered' her.

Speaking at the Bazaar At Work Summitt 2023, she said: 'There was this opportunity for me to get in the best shape in my life [with The Marvels] which I really hadn't been in – getting fit and in shape, but strong and eating well, was a massive part of this journey for me. 

'And then the process of learning stunts and fighting is probably one of the most empowering things that I've ever done.'

Zawe welcomed her first child with her partner Tom Hiddleston last October, with the pregnancy interfering with the shoot.

She said: 'I thought the film was finished, and I got pregnant and had my baby. And then they told me to come back and reshoot basically the whole movie. 

'That, to me, has been the biggest journey with this movie: my physical wellness, my ability to endure, to mentally switch back into that place, postpartum, and come back, and try and kick some ass again. That's really what the landmark of the film is to me now.'

Zawe also spoke about working in the film industry as a young actress and how there were not many measures in place to protect performers from exploitation.

She said: 'I'm probably deeply traumatised! I was working at a point in our industry that is so different from industry that we are working on making for ourselves now. There were no safety protocols. 

'There were no conscious ways that we were thinking about protecting young women. I sort of wipe my brow sometimes, thinking: 'Wow, I actually emerged quite unscathed.' 

'There are so many different ways that we're thinking consciously about protecting the people who are working in front of and behind the camera now.' 

Zawe elaborated on sexism in the industry, saying she felt 'fatigued' from spending so much time worried about her looks.

She said: 'I realised that I'd spent nearly 30 years as an actor, but I'd also sort of spent 30 years performing as a woman, and I felt suddenly so tired.'

'That kind of patriarchal eye, that just gazes on you since birth, it suddenly felt really like that had depleted me in a very deep way.'

'I was suddenly hit with this fatigue, where I didn't want to think about my face, or about my hair and my looks. I didn't want to think about how I could keep presenting myself for a camera or a lens that basically represents this very, very problematic gaze.'

'Where do we draw the line? This is all part of the same spectrum. If you're not seeing women's humanity, if you're not seeing a full human life when you're thinking about the ways that you're putting these kinds of [character breakdown] descriptions together, then the extreme end of the spectrum is you're not valuing women, and that's a much bigger conversation than my industry.'

The actress, who was born to a Ugandan mother and an English father, also spoke about representation on screen.

She said: 'When I starred in period drama, Mr. Malcom's List, there was suddenly this healing moment. I had never ever seen any actor who looked like me invited to the table to perform these entertainment pieces. 

'I hadn't known necessarily that I was hurting so much, until I saw that representation happen, and the success of it take everyone by storm.'

'Growing up as a young biracial girl in Hackney, I was really drawn to the left-field, drawn to the alternative. And part of the bullying I encountered in my teens was because of that. 

'There weren't really any people of colour who were representing this alternative landscape. When I got the part of Vod in Fresh Meat, I thought: 'This is now my opportunity to be that for someone else who didn't maybe have it.' 

'I was willing to do whatever it took to make that character as edgy and authentic as I felt she could be, so that it would invite that person who is not seeing that kind of representation on screen, to really feel seen.'

 Zawe, who has not revealed the name or sex of her child, told how she feels like she is 'growing up' with her baby.

She said: 'The most surprising thing for me has been how quiet I feel like I've gone in motherhood.'

'Right now, it's been really about collecting women's stories. For some reason, we don't value ageing in our society. And there are women who have given me nuggets of wisdom that I literally could not live without. And they are all over the age of 60.

'Why we're not opening a platform and listening to women who have actually lived life is crazy to me. I'm a new mum. I know so little. I'm growing with my child… the child is going to teach you and lead you if you're open to it, and that's the moment to enjoy so much.'

(x)

[userchai]

Hello!!

Ummm, where do i start?

First of all, thanks a lot, you're the only blog that it's been popping in my fyp that is talking about this whole situation with so much care and assertiveness.

Second, since yesterday night I've been feeling so overwhelmed with this Joe&Doja situation, and this ask is more like a personal release than other thing, so bare with me:

I never liked this Fandom, or any fandom because of the level of toxicity that they carried. Not all fans are toxic, but the ones that do not know the meaning of boundaries are.

With that said, i think a lot of people are mixing Eddie as a character and Joe as a person and actor.

Eddie is not real, but it had a lot of impact in a lot of people. And I'm not talking only of the character and story told in the series, I'm including the character made up in this app and other ones. The character tha was created under the whole collection of headcanons, canon and bunch of stories. And i think, with all my heart that not one will ever have the same description of Eddie as a character, because each one of us has a different perspective of Eddie, and that is okay. He does not exist, HE IS NOT REAL!!!

On the other hand, Joe is real, and a human being with goods and flaws. We don't know him. His PR team barely keep his IG active. And unfortunately he's been facing this issue, this harassment since the air of season 4 (with the readhead, with one of the haim sisters, etc). And it's sad to think that there are people out there not able to let alone their celebrity crush because they don't like their partner, or significant other (and I'm talking beyond if that person is problematic or not, because, I'm repeating myself, we don't know either of them).

I will not omitt the feeling of heartbreak I've been feeling, and i think most of his fandom have been feeling, I'd like to think. But if I'm honest, I've been there some many times with a million of other celebrities crushes that i know, in a few months, everyone will be able to not care whether he is with her, of if she is with he. Like, look back to 2015, Chris Evans was the bachelor of the season, and he started dating Jenny Stale (and she got a lot of blacklash for that), and now he is a married man to Alba Baptista and no one died.

Joe is a grown ass fuck up man and Doja as well. If they want to date each other, we should not care. If the want to have PDA, we should not care. If they are FwB, we should not care.

What we should do care is on our own business, and let the world turn, and people ALONEEEE!!

Thanks for listening my Ted Talk

thank you for saying this! I think everyone needs to separate eddie away from this because like you said he is just a character and things will calm down again.

[andy-15-07]

Weathering the Storm

masterlist ! pairing: Chase Stokes x reader

SUMMARY : Y/n and chase are dating. But she gets alot of hate from Chase's fans, which he doesn't know about. Eventually chase finds out and comforts y/n and confronts his fans.

The sun was setting as Y/n scrolled through her social media, a mix of excitement and anxiety bubbling within her. She had been dating Chase Stokes for a few months now, and while their relationship was blissful in many ways, there was an undeniable dark cloud looming over her. The comments section of her posts was flooded with hateful messages from Chase's fans.

"Chase deserves better."

"Why is she even with him?"

"She's not good enough for him."

Y/n couldn't escape the negativity, and it was beginning to take a toll on her self-esteem. She hadn't told Chase about the hate she was receiving, not wanting to burden him with the negativity that surrounded their relationship. But as the comments continued to pile up, she couldn't keep it from him any longer.

One evening, after a particularly harsh comment left her feeling defeated, Y/n decided it was time to talk to Chase. She invited him over to her place, her heart pounding as she waited for him to arrive.

When Chase walked through the door, he was met with a forced smile from Y/n. "Hey, babe," he greeted, leaning in for a quick kiss. "How was your day?"

Y/n sighed, a heavy weight on her chest. "Chase, we need to talk."

Concern flickered in his eyes as he took a seat beside her. "What's going on? Is everything okay?"

Y/n hesitated before finally deciding to open up. "I've been getting a lot of hate online, Chase. And it's not just general hate—it's about us."

Chase furrowed his brows in confusion. "What do you mean? Why would anyone hate on us?"

She handed him her phone, displaying the cruel comments that had been flooding her social media accounts. Chase's eyes widened as he read through the hurtful words aimed at Y/n. Anger began to well up in him, but he took a deep breath before speaking.

"I had no idea this was happening, Y/n. I'm so sorry you've been dealing with this alone." He pulled her into a comforting hug. "It's not your fault, and you're definitely not alone now. We'll get through this together."

Y/n felt a sense of relief wash over her as Chase held her close. For the first time, she didn't feel alone in the face of the online hate. Chase, on the other hand, was determined to put an end to the negativity surrounding their relationship.

The next day, he posted a heartfelt message on his social media platforms, addressing the hate directed towards Y/n. "I never thought I'd have to do this, but it's important to address the toxic comments some of you have been leaving about my girlfriend, Y/n," he began.

He continued, "Y/n is an incredible person who brings so much joy and positivity into my life. No one deserves the hate she's been receiving, and it's disheartening to see some of my own fans perpetuating negativity. If you're a true fan, support means supporting not only me but also the people I care about."

Chase's post garnered an overwhelming amount of support, with fans and followers alike condemning the hate and expressing their love for Y/n. Chase's decision to confront the issue head-on brought a newfound strength to their relationship.

Over the following weeks, the negativity began to subside, and Y/n felt a weight lifting off her shoulders. Chase's fans slowly started to embrace their relationship, realizing that their happiness was what truly mattered to their favorite actor.

As they navigated the challenges of fame and online scrutiny, Y/n and Chase grew even closer. Their love proved to be stronger than any hate that could be thrown their way, and together, they faced the world hand in hand, unapologetically in love.

[mirai-e-jump]

Murakami Erica Photobook: Admiring Erica (select pages and translation below)

Publication: May 29, 2024

Erica's Story

An ordinary high school student who was suddenly scouted one day in Harajuku, won the Grand Prix of an audition, and quickly became a "ViVi" model. After that, she also expanded her activities as an actor, and by taking on the challenge of the Super Sentai series, Erica became the nation's "princess" loved by people of all ages and genders. Including stories about her beloved family and work, this is the beginning of Erica's true story, which can only be told in a photobook.

"Congratulations on the release of your photobook 💛. What were your thoughts when you heard about it?"

Somehow, I always thought about wanting to publish a style book or a book related to beauty someday, but I never considered a photobook at all! I was surprised at first, and I couldn't imagine how it would turn out, but I knew that if I teamed up with ViVi, it would definitely be stylish, so I was really looking forward to it!

"How did it feel to actually shoot?"

The moment we started shooting, I was so excited because the photos were so stylish and had an atmosphere that only ViVi can create!!! The clothes were cute and had alittle bit of an emotional vibe to them but with the lighting that's so ViVi, ViVi is the best~ 💛.

Family Stories

-Talkative and mischievous. I'm a lively girl who grew up carefree in Fukushima-

"Erica is loved by her family, fellow models, staff and co stars. What kind of child were you during your childhood?"

I did things at my own pace from the moment I was born. I wouldn't shout, and was the kind of baby who would look around at the new world with wonder. I've been talkative and mischievous since I was young. I was a lively child, running around at the front while dragging my younger sister, younger brother, and the neighborhood children along with me. I grew up carefree in the rich nature of my hometown, Fukushima, so of course I was good with bugs. I loved to play pranks, and would catch grasshoppers and cicadas and release them at home, where my mother would often become furious with me. In elementary school, I did swimming, karuta, and piano……Since I had plenty of energy, I was able to learn a bunch of different things. From middle school, I started to dress up alittle more, and became interested in fashion and cosmetics. I'd wear the magnetic earrings I bought at the general store, and borrow and try out my mother's eyeliner without permission. In middle school, I joined the Soft Tennis Club, and while leading a club centered life, I became addicted to "Detective Conan." Mori Ran-chan was so cool, that I even tried karate for a brief time (laughs). I fell in love with the scientific field because Haibara Ai-chan was so cool, and she made me aspire to become a science researcher. From that time on, I had an otaku mind set, and would always get completely into whatever I liked.

"You must've been an actively curious child."

I was always active! I was always willing to try anything without hesitating, and even now I'm still the type of person who's curious and quick to act on whatever I want to do.

"Your father is originally from Canada. Did you go to Canada often?"

My grandfather and grandmother lived there, so I used to go there often when I was younger. When I was in middle school, me and my younger sister would spend our Summer vacations in Canada. I'd speak English together with my father, so I was able to speak it when I was a child, but I regret that I gradually became less interested in English. Now, I think I want to study English again.

"Being blunt, were you popular?"

Eh, not really (laughs). The only story I can tell you that made me alittle bit excited was when I was in high school, a friend told me that a boy from another school wanted to know my contact info. Unfortunately, I don't have that many stories of bittersweet love 💛, as I tend to become friends with the opposite sex pretty quickly.

"What kind of girl were you in high school?"

I decided to seriously pursue a career in science when I was in my first year of high school, so I went to cram school and studied hard in order to focus on entrance exams. I was involved in club activities, such as baking sweets in the laid back Family Life Club. If I got a job, I'd probably return to my hometown, so I wanted to go somewhere where I could do what I loved while being a college student, I even though, "Maybe I can study abroad!" So, I guess leaving Fukushima was the image I had in mind for my life plans. Rather than saying, "I definitely want to go to Tokyo!" I just felt like college in a city would be more exciting. I hoped that in the future I'd be able to work for a company involved in the development and research of cosmetics.

-I can be my most relaxed self when I spend time with my siblings 💛-

"Are you close with your siblings?"

My younger sister is 1 year, and younger brother is 5 years apart from me, and the three of us used to play together when we were in elementary school. When I started to enjoy fashion in high school, I lent and borrowed clothes with my sister. Since moving to the capital, I've been spending more time with my sister and brother whenever they come to Tokyo, and we often play together. It's probably because I'm the eldest daughter, but I have a strong desire to do things for my younger sister and brother. I lived with my sister when I was in college, so we were together alot. My brother's a spoiled brat and would call me to say, "I'm going to Chiba tomorrow, let's go to Disney together!" or "I want to eat sushi," and so I'll go with him. My brother has been in Tokyo since April, so I'm planning to take him to lots of places. I can be my most relaxed self when I'm spending time with my siblings.

"Do you ever fight with your siblings?"

When I lived with my sister, she often scolded me about not doing housework. My sister got angry with me when I was too busy and put off doing the laundry or dishes (laughs). Even now, I feel really bad about that. My sister was the kindest, cooking dinner for me when I worked late at night and prepping my bath. When I complained about how tired I was from work, she just let it slide in a nice way. I appreciated that as well. She knows how to treat me. Of course, when I was really having a hard time, she'd be there for me and listen to me seriously at dinner. She's my younger sister, but she's become like an older sister to me and supports me emotionally. My sister is the one who gives me the most objective opinion. She's the only one who'll say, "Onee-san, you don't look good in that outfit."

-I'm working hard at my job to show my family good things!-

"Erica loves her family."

I think my family is really close. I didn't have much of a rebellious phase, but when I was in middle school, I would pretend to be abit cool and listen to music by myself with earphones. My parents were the type to let me do what I wanted, so I was free to do whatever. On Friday nights, when my father came home alittle early, I'd fill a big bowl with my favorite snack, order pizza, and watch a movie together. My grandmother and grandfather took care of me when I was a child because both my parents worked, so I'm also very close with my grandparents. Even now, if I have two or three days off, I go back to my parents house and tell my family everything about work. I feel refreshed when I have conversations with them because I can talk with them while organizing my thoughts. They're so positive about everything I do, so if I feel like I'm lacking energy, or my self esteem is alittle low, I'll just video call them. No matter which one I call, they always come up on the screen, they're both adorable parents, always wanting to talk to me before anyone else (laughs). Once I've reached the point where I can put a pause on work, I'd like to take a family trip while my grandfather and grandmother are still healthy. The world is changing rapidly, even in just one year, so I'd like to give back alot while I can.

"What does family mean to Erica?"

It's healing. Part of me works hard because I want to show my family good things. Because I grew up in a close family, I long for marriage and want to start a family myself. I hear that many people don't want to get married these days, but I really do! (laughs), I feel like, "If you want to get married, come to my house." If there's anyone out there who's a good person, I'd like them to come and join my family.

Beauty Stories

-My private time is devoted entirely to beauty. "Erica's method" is to make a plan and keep at it for a long time-

"What's the number one thing you're interested in right now?"

It's beauty! I actually really love beauty. I love skin care and cosmetics, but I'm also interested in pilates, moxibustion, acupuncture, nutrition, diet, and anything related to health in general. I love it so much, that I now spend most of my private time on beauty.

"How long have you been into beauty?"

When I was in high school, my father had an opportunity to reevaluate his diet, and since I also had a weak stomach, we started together. The first thing I took care of was my eating habits. I started eating less additives and prioritized the vegetables from my grandparents garden. From there, I became interested in intestinal health, and since I like to do research, I got more and more into it. Since then, food and health have always been on my mind. I think that my family created the base for my healthy diet. When I was in college, I cooked for myself with vegetables from Fukushima that were sent to me, and even now I still cook for myself. Just recently, during the filming of "Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger," I brought my own bento to keep myself healthy, including onigiri for breakfast and fruit for a snack. Food is important to maintain my figure, especially during busy times. But, when I go out to eat together with everyone, I don't worry about it and put priority on having a good time. I do care about it when I eat alone, so I like to find the right balance. Instead of making everything perfect, I try to be more flexible and make the best of what I have. The important thing is the long term, so I think it's those small steps and accumulations that have led me to where I am today.

-Occasional treats are OK! If I eat, I'll cover for it the next day with adjustments and exercise-

"How do you stay in shape?"

Honestly, when I first started modeling, I thought that if I gained weight, I wouldn't get any work. Currently I don't think it's enough to be thin, and I know that it's not everything, but when I was 18 or 19 years old, I was absolutely convinced that, "I should never be fat!" The idea of exercising never came up when I thought about eating less. I went without meals for about two days for my first swimsuit shoot, which was a complete disaster as I got heat stroke and felt sick. I learned to reflect on why I needed to be thin even though I was ruining my physical condition. Now, I think it's more beautiful to have abs rather than just being thin, and I've started to take up pilates not just to keep thin, but to improve my posture. I like pilates because it builds more flexible muscles than weight training. Exercise makes you more positive, and it's good for your mental health. When I have time, I sometimes go swimming. Now, I go to do pilates 2-3 times a week, and have incorporated walking. I love walking, so I wear comfortable shoes and try to walk around as much as possible when I can.

"What are you conscious of in your daily diet?"

I eat three well balanced and proper meals. If I don't take in enough nutritions, my complexion will be ruined. Now, because of the action in King-Ohger's stage play, I have to use alot of energy, so I eat sweets every time I take a break. So, I make sure to bring dried sweet potatoes, chocolate with at least 70% cacao, and fruit for snacking. I think it's important to know what to eat, not to refrain from eating. When I occasionally receive sweets as gifts, I enjoy them and try to move my body as much as possible. In my refrigerator is natto, mozuku, mekabu, and also dried wakame and koya dofu. The freezer is always stocked with burdock and beans. When taking meals on location, I just put bonito flakes and miso in a soup jar, add hot water, and I'm good to go. Miso soup is truly great. Speaking of, the miso by my grandmother is homemade. I heard that bacteria is important, so for awhile, I'd mix my grandmother's homemade amazake with yogurt.

"What's important in maintaining your figure?"

Of course, I don't always follow a stoic diet, if there's something I'm concerned about, I eat it, but I try not to do it continuously. People don't gain that much weight if they overeat for a day or two, but if you reward yourself every day and continue to do so for a week or more, it becomes a habit and will absolutely affect your figure. Swelling is a habit after all, so I'll take care of it on that day. Of course, not eating is also stressful, so when I eat, I try to exercise as much as I can. I used to worry about swelling, but now I don't. I'm more concerned about what kind of condition I want to be in on a regular basis. Rather than cramming everything together and doing alot of different things, I'd rather be in a state where I can make consistent progress every day and not have to do anything special. That's what motivates me, and when I want to have fun, I enjoy myself to the fullest and then make adjustments the next day. I guess that's the most like me.

-Always checking beauty care info while taking a long bath!-

"Tell us your at home beauty routine!"

At home, I use a foam roller to stretch and loosen up my muscles. I also use an easy to apply sticker type of moxibustion to warm up pressure points on my feet and improve blood circulation. When I'm tired, I love to use "Kyusoku Jikan Pressure Point Stimulating Gel Sheets" and going to bed because it makes my legs feel lighter 💛 also, it's important to take a long bath. I add bath salts like epsom salt and himalayan salt, and while soaking in the tub for 40 to 50 minutes, I'll search for beauty care info. When I want to warm myself up, I sometimes add sake. When I sleep, sometimes I'll wear medical compression socks. Also, I heard that it's good to sleep with a warm body, so until Winter ends, I put disposable hand warmers on my futon and wear "Nightmin Warming Earplugs" when I sleep. Recently, I bought a Zojirushi humidifier and it works great! It's good for my health and makes my skin feel soft.

"Do you take supplements?"

Honestly, I don't think anything can compete with food, but for this photobook, I also took extra of my favorite supplements. Recently, I've been taking Lypo-C in the morning and Lypo-CC+D at night. When I was alittle concerned about the condition of my skin, I got a prescription for coix seed from my hospital. I started taking it to treat water warts, but at the time, I got compliments on my skin, so I only take it before important events. Plus, I take Vitamin B for skin and fatigue, and glutathione for when I'm drinking alcohol. I heard that glutathione improves liver metabolism, and since I also like to drink, I always keep some handy. I'm currently interested in collagen supplements. As I get older, my problems will also change, so I'm always exchanging information with hair and makeup artists and beauty authors, and I actively try out new things that interest me. By the way, if I'm really busy, I can also rely on nutritional supplements. I use Chocola BB and Alinamin, and also the Orthomol that I bought from Korea, as they give me energy.

-I love acupuncture 💛 I also incorporate beauty clinics for skin care-

"Tell us what beauty places Erica goes to!"

I've been going for acupuncture once a month for about 3 years. I started going to improve my poor circulation, sensitivity to cold, and stiff shoulders, and I became addicted to how good I felt when waking up the next day. It seems to have a detoxifying effect that makes my body feel refreshed. The doctor is very knowledgeable about beauty and taught me some basics, like because I have a weak stomach, eating too many raw vegetables isn't good for my digestion, and that I should avoid coffee as the first thing I have in the morning.

"Do you go to beauty clinics?"

I go! Basically, my main focus is skin care, as I had rough skin around the time I moved to Tokyo, so I started looking for a beauty clinic to fix it, and then I started going to different ones. Laser toning treatments had visible results, and that's how I became hooked. Currently, I use a proper amount of both aesthetic and beauty clinics. I regularly go to "Aesthetic Salon CIEL" for facial contouring, where even sensitive skin can be managed. I don't do strong procedures that require downtime, but when I want to feel the power of medical treatments, such as toning or making acne scars less visible, I sometimes turn to cosmetic medicine. Recently, I heard that titanium lifting is a good thing, so I immediately made an appointment. I'm also interested in skin boosters. The idea is to not just slim down facial lines, but to have skin that looks healthy and tight.

-Beauty is my hobby. I always want to improve myself-

"What skincare regimen are you into lately?"

Since the beauty clinic will be thorough, my skin care regimen is basically protective. Currently, I love carbonated beauty. I like carbonated face washes, and use things like suisai's "Beauty Clear Fizzy Powder Wash," which I think as a side effect feels like it refreshes the area around my face! For a period of time, I was so addicted to it, that I used to make carbonated water with a "Soda Stream" and wash my face with it. I'll often use foam carbonation packs on my scalp. I also like fermented ingredients and will try out various kinds.

"What is Erica's goal with beauty?"

Smooth and soft skin! And above all else, health. Rather than wanting to be like someone else, I always want to better my image. Beauty for me is a hobby. It lifts my spirits and helps me "reset." It's my precious time 💛.

Work Stories

-I want to try something new! I dove into this world out of curiosity 💛-

"Now then, let's look back at Erica's work. When was the turning point?"

I participated in "High School Quiz" when I was in my second year of high school. I won the competition and was going on to compete in the national level, and while I was walking around Harajuku, excited to be in Tokyo for the first time, I was scouted by my current agency. I had previously been scouted in my hometown, but I turned them all down because I was preparing for exams. However, they asked for my contact info since I wasn't affiliated with an agency, and so we exchanged info. About six months later, I was recommended to audition for ViVi by the agency, and thankfully, I won the Grand Prix and became a ViVi model.

"Why did you decide to audition?"

I'm not swayed by trends, I'm just an ordinary girl. I had read ViVi before, but I was just a high school student who thought that the entertainment industry was a world I had no connection to, and that I'd just go on to higher education and find a job. Still, I like to try new things, and I thought it'd be simple and interesting, so I dove into this world out of curiosity.

"You auditioned as part of the experience and it changed your life."

I had a simple feeling about the audition, thinking, "I get to go to Tokyo, it's like a trip, it's going to be fun 💛." That's why I was really surprised when I passed. More than anything, my mother was happy. My mother's a huge fan of Hasegawa Jun-san, so when I told her about the ViVi audition, she was excited and said, "I think Erica will definitely become a ViVi model!" and I think she was more excited than I was when I passed. I was also happy to win the Grand Prix, but it was memorable to see how the many people around me, including my family and grandparents, were happy for me.

"Was there ever a moment during an audition when you thought you'd be accepted?"

Not at all. For the second round of selection, we were allowed to wear casual clothes, but I was told by my agency to "wear a white T shirt and shorts!" and I went to the venue as instructed, but everyone there was very fashionable. I thought, "Ah, I look completely out of place. This is the end." But, on the other hand, I think I stood out (laughs). Until the end, it never once crossed my mind that, "Maybe I'll be accepted?!" I felt like I'd just be lucky if I made it to the final round.

"The final selection was on the runway at the "Girls Award." Were you nervous about walking in front of an audience?"

To be honest, at the time I had no idea how enormous the "Girls Award" was. I was nervous, but I didn't really feel like I was standing on a big stage. It felt like, "There are so many famous people here!" If I failed here, I wouldn't have been able to study for entrance exams, and I wouldn't know what to do about going on to college.

"Tell us how you felt when you passed!"

Simply put, I was shocked. I received a bouquet of flowers from Yamashita Tomohisa-san and thought, "Ah, so this is Tokyo. I'm standing in the same place as a celebrity." I think I was rather calm.

"When did you finally realize that you had become a model?"

I commuted from Fukushima during high school, but at first I didn't get much work, and I guess I didn't really feel like a model. During my first year in college, I was so focused on my schoolwork to earn credits that I had very few jobs outside of ViVi. Toward the end of my first year, the amount of work gradually expanded, and I felt that my modeling work was becoming more and more fulfilling.

-Balancing schoolwork and being a ViVi model. My friends were there to help me get through it-

"Did you decide not to apply for college after being accepted as a ViVi model?"

I had always wanted to go to college, and I thought it'd be more fun to try different things and absorb different things than to follow one path. Since I suddenly became a model, I think I had the sense that college was my base, and I just happened to be lucky enough to be able to model. Since the path of modeling is a narrow one, I was determined to try to find a job if I were to stop modeling. I went on to study business administration at a science college, and what I studied has led me to where I am today, and as a result, many things have turned out well. The biggest change since becoming a ViVi model is that it's become easier to try new things. I think I've become more willing to try anything and everything without being afraid.

"Was it difficult to balance college with your career?"

In my first and second year, I prioritized my studies, and I didn't feel like I was doing that much work, so it wasn't hard. I was also living on my own for the first time and enjoying college life. In fact, I even talked to my agency about wanting to work more. But, it wasn't easy getting work, so I was prepared to do my best for when the opportunity arose. Around the beginning of my second year, I started taking more online classes due to the covid pandemic, which led to more jobs outside of ViVi, so I started to enjoy modeling more. Since that time, I've been trying my hand at acting during long vacations. The end of my fourth year (second semester) was honestly a tough time for me because I was balancing modeling, acting, and schoolwork. However, I think I was able to overcome these challenges due to having friendly competition with my college friends.

"What inspired you to start acting?"

It all started when I was asked if I wanted to audition for the drama "Black Cinderella." Everything was new to me, so I didn't know right from left, and it all happened so fast~. I did the best I could everyday, and afterwards I'd feel like I was burnt out. My first acting job was a bigger role than I expected, and the pressure was also intense. I had to memorize my lines and act. I started it casually, wanting to take on a new challenge, but it was harder than I imagined. I felt so tense for so long, that when the drama ended and I went to a ViVi photo shoot, I couldn't help but cry because I felt so relieved. I think I was able to overcome a large part of it because I was blessed with the right people. I'm still good friends with the Black Cinderella members, and my connection with its staff led me to my current job with King-Ohger. I'd like to help others someday myself, but I can't afford to do so yet. I'd like to return the favor someday.

"Did Black Cinderella inspire you to become an actor?"

Honestly, I felt I had to work harder because I couldn't do anything. I didn't have anything in mind for my next project, but I started attending private lessons that I found on my own, preparing for the day that would someday come.

-If I'm going to do the same thing for a year, I want to spend a year different from the one before. With this in mind, I challenged myself to Super Sentai-

"Erica's popularity has grown dramatically with King-Ohger, but how did it feel to take on the challenge of joining Super Sentai?"

When I was in my fourth year of college, I was asked to audition. But, to be honest, I wasn't sure if I'd accept the role at first. It isn't often you get approached for an offer for Super Sentai, so I think it was fate that I was asked. However, I talked to my parents about what to do since it was too different from the career I had been doing up to that point. At that time, my parents told me that I had once said, "If I'm going to do the same thing for a year, I want to spend a year different from the one before." I had forgotten those words, but when I heard them, I thought that was the way I wanted to live my life, so I made the decision to take it.

"What worried you the most?"

Honestly, Super Sentai has a tighter schedule than regular dramas, and you have to focus on your role for a year and a half, so I was worried that I wouldn't be able to work as a model. I thought that if I left for a year and a half, alot of new kids would come in during that time, and that once I went, I might not be able to come back. As you can imagine, I was hardly able to shoot for ViVi when filming for Super Sentai began. The number of projects decreased all at once, and there were months where I had no shoots at all, which made me feel very lonely. I couldn't wait to appear in ViVi.

"That was the most difficult time for you to balance both."

When the number of projects decreased, I wondered if ViVi no longer needed me. I wanted to spend more time modeling, but I also had to make sure I was doing my acting work, so I was really stressed out. I wanted to make ViVi my top priority in the past and still do. But, I didn't want to give up the acting career that I've secured. I was conflicted and thought, "I want to do both!" Moreover, I also had to give up modeling to take on Super Sentai, but my acting wasn't perfect, and it was really hard to keep up with everyone. I was also writing my college thesis at that time, so I was full of energy both physically and mentally. In my spare time between filming, I communicated with my professor and worked with all my might to finish my thesis.

"If you had to give yourself a score as an actor, what would it be?"

It'd still be a minus. However, I think it's a huge plus in my life. My values ​​have changed in alot of ways. At first, I thought I was a model and not suited for acting, but recently, I've come around to where I think acting might be kind of fun.

"What did you gain from working hard in modeling, schoolwork, and acting?"

It all comes down to experience and time, doesn't it? In both modeling and acting, you learn by doing things over and over again, so in that sense, I think the past year and a half has been really important. I tried to pick up everything I could, and absorbed lots of different things. Also, by trying to do many things and working hard, I don't focus too much on one thing, so I don't have to think about unnecessary things. Besides, people I've worked with in the past say they want to work with me again. In the entertainment world, you don't have a job unless someone needs you, so I feel like I'm able to work thanks to people like that. All of my work comes about through fortunate connections, so I want to cherish each and every one of those connections.

-Modeling and acting, I want to do it all. That's because I love it all!-

Please give a message for those who are struggling to balance multiple things they want to do!

If you have alot of things you want to do right now, I think it's okay to try doing both. Of course, there'll be hardships, but sometimes you'll find help from places you least expect. It's important to have goals in life, as it'd be a waste to spend time doing nothing. In my case, both modeling and my acting jobs have had a big impact on my private life. I feel that we can learn alot about how to live from our work.

"From now on, you'll work hard to balance being both a model and an actor."

Currently, I really enjoy working as a model as I did before. It's like I'm back 💛. I've had very little time off this year, but it's been so fulfilling that I don't find it tiring at all. I think it's best to have a job while you still can. Some models focus on acting, but I want to keep being a model and actor at the same time because I love it all. I love ViVi, and I'd like to increase what I can do based on that, and give back to ViVi what I've gained in other fields. Some people leave a group or graduate from a magazine to take the next step, but I think it's good to try a variety of things while staying in the same place, and I think studying and trying different things at the same time, rather than just one thing, fits my way of life.

"Since overcoming the challenges of balancing studies and a job, has your attitude toward work changed?"

In the past, I used to think that I had to be cool or be nice to get a job, but now I think I've become able to prioritize being myself. Even with ViVi, I used to follow the backs of my seniors, but before I knew it, I became a senior myself, and I felt I had to stand tall. Sometimes I think I need to be more firm with my juniors and show them that I'm good at what I do. However, I think it'd be better to be friendly and expose my faults, because then people would talk to me openly. Of course I do it when I need to, but I think that maybe it's more like me not to try too hard. I can't "graduate" when I haven't done anything yet. I feel like I want to be spoiled even more.

"What kind of place is ViVi to Erica?"

ViVi has a very strong sense of camaraderie, and I feel like we all look out for each other and help each other improve. ViVi is my home, my family, and a place that inspires me. Modeling is also where my roots are, so I'd like to challenge myself to various things without losing sight of my role as a model.

[maremartinelli]

TELL ME THE OPTION

Ben Barnes X Actress!reader

Summary: Where Y/n and Ben do a silly interview, in which they have to choose between the two options they are told.

Words: 1.3K+

Warnings: Mentions of relationship, Mentions of kisses, games between husband and wife, actor and actress, cuteness and joy.

Author: I'm addicted to translating my Brazilian imagines for you, and on that subject, it's good to remember that English is not my first language, forgive me if I have silly and weird mistakes.

MASTERLIST

"Hi, I'm Ben Barnes"

"And I'm Y/n Colin..." she said, smiling slightly as she lowered her head and Ben looked at her, in which his look told her to say the other surname. "...Barnes. Y/n Colin Barnes" she says and points at the camera with her index finger.

"That's very good. I thought you wouldn't say our last name" Ben says as he adjusts himself in the chair.

"Nonsense" Y/n winks at the camera and smiles. "Well, today my amazing husband and I came here to answer some questions" Y/n slaps his hand on Ben's thigh and then adjusts himself in the chair too.

"Right. The producers are trying to create intrigue between us. They will give two options and we will have to choose just one" The actor says while explaining to the camera.

"Without much ado, send the first one" Y/n says while rubbing his hands on his pants in euphoria.

Ben looks at her and smiles.

"Okay, the options are for Y/n." The producer says, behind the camera.

"Just do a survey here" Y/n points to the camera. "The options here were some fans who chose, so in short. We're screwed" Y/n looks at the producer again.

"I don't think so, they love our relationship" Ben says and Y/n quickly turns her head to the side to see her husband. "They practically date our marriage," he shrugs.

Y/n laughs out loud.

"Really. They're always telling us to join in" Y/n laughs.

"Okay Y/n, the options are. Would you rather never eat your favorite food again or eat it forever?"

Y/n snorts and smiles.

"They're good" Y/n says to her husband and the producer laughs.

"I didn't like that laugh" Ben says ironically. He knew that much worse would come.

"As my favorite food is (your favorite food) and it has a lot of variety, I think it wouldn't be a problem to eat only it for the rest of my life" Y/n says and he nods.

"Ben. Would you rather never see your mother again or never be able to act again?"

Ben's eyes widen, but the answer is obvious.

"As obvious as this answer is, it hurt my heart." He holds his chest and pretends to be annoyed. "I'd rather never act again. I love my mother too much to do something crazy like that"

Y/n smiles looking at her husband.

"Mother-in-law, I love you" Y/n looks at the camera and sends a heart.

"Your turn Y/n. Would you rather witness a zombie apocalypse or an alien apocalypse?"

"Wow" Y/n sighs thinking about the answer. "I think a zombie apocalypse. My second degree is in The Walking Dead" she says and Ben laughs at the last sentence.

"Horrible" he exclaims, still laughing.

Y/n looks at him indignantly.

"Keep to yourself, darling" Y/n says the nickname in Portuguese while lightly patting his arm. Making him smile at the nickname.

"Ben. Would you rather get back with your ex or never kiss Y/n again?"

Y/n opens his mouth in the shape of an O and laughs, waiting for the answer. As Ben opened his eyes wider and wider.

"I said too soon that this was being calm" Y/n says patting his legs. "Say it my beloved Darkling" she says smiling and leaning towards Ben to listen carefully to the answer.

He sighs deeply and runs his hands through his hair.

"Never kiss Y/n again. I couldn't be with anyone else, she is the love of my life and always will be" he says romantically and Y/n melts. All her spirit of an attacked child leaves her body, she just wanted to cry with joy.

As much as Ben always told her that.

"There, you messed me up here" Y/n says, sliding down in the chair and Ben leans down to kiss the top of her head.

"7 years together and you never got used to it. Silly" he says to the camera and Y/n smiles, adjusting himself in the chair.

"But hey, you could get back together with your ex." Ben raises his eyebrows and frowns. "For those who don't know, Ben and I have already separated once. What was it?? A little before we had been dating for 3 years, right?" She turns to him and he sighs in relief.

"Ah yes. True" he agrees to the camera. "Terrible days when I was away from her"

Y/n rolls her eyes playfully and smiles.

"Let's go back, I'm getting old already" she comments and her husband laughs.

"Y/n. Having a job that allows you to have a great salary or a job that allows you to visit any country in the world?"

Y/n raises his shoulders and then lets go.

"Modesty aside. I have both" she says, but ends up laughing. "Just kidding guys. But the first option" she smiles.

"Ben, your last question."

“Amen” he sighs.

Y/n laughs.

"About your work. Would you rather be cast as Sirius Black in a possible Marauders series or play the character you always wanted?"

“I knew something like this would come,” he laughs.

"There always is" Y/n smiles amusedly, as she looks away from her lap to her husband's face.

"I really prefer the first option. Since he's a character I've always wanted to play, if Warber Bros. makes a Marauders series." He says a little shyly.

"Really?" Y/n smiles with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Yes" he nods happily, as he looks at his wife.

"Okay, I'll figure it out. Even if I organize this series alone" She smiles victoriously and leans back in the chair.

Y/n graduated in cinema, and has already participated in the direction of several series and films from major producers. Maybe this isn't so far off from the plans she just had in mind.

"Right. Y/n. Last options" the producer says. "Would you rather never see Ben again in your life or cheat on him for 2 million dollars with Johnny Depp?"

"How crazy is this??" Ben looks at the production and the rest laugh. "Fan or hater who asked this question?"

Y/n laughs in his chair.

"That's a hilarious question." She laughs more and quickly composes herself. "But seriously, this is complicated"

"Go talk!!" Ben says looking at her, with a crooked smile on his face and deep eyes into theirs.

"Oh, I'll talk" Y/n turns her body towards him. "But I'm going to give my explanation, don't interrupt" the woman explains with her hands and Ben smiles. He loved her Italian features.

"Okay" he says nodding and smiling.

They both knew that the answer that would come was nothing they could actually do. They both loved each other too much to do that, Y/n would rather die than betray him and vice versa.

"I would choose the second option..."

"Heavens Y/n" Ben says in an indignant tone, but holding back from laughing. "The guy is old enough to be your grandfather."

"BENJAMIN!!" She says loudly and lets out a laugh. "First I said don't interrupt me and second we have an age difference of 25 years, don't be silly. It could only be my father..." She stops and thinks a little and Ben laughs. "But that's not the case, because I would never cheat on you" Ben nods, his eyes still glued to his wife. "But look, we could make a plan. They would give me this option, we agreed off the record that I would "cheat" on you" she makes a sign with her hand that I would cheat "I would pretend to kiss him and we would come out rich with 1 million dollars. Amazing plan, don't you think??!!"

Ben laugh.

"Yes honey, amazing plan" he looks at her again. The passionate look never disappearing.

Y/nn approaches him and whispers close to his ear, his breath sending shivers through Ben's body.

"You know I would never cheat on you, right??" She places a kiss next to his ear and Ben smiles at the act.

"I know, honey" he whispers again and lets me quickly kiss the woman's cheek. "I love you" he says before leaning back in the chair and they both finish the video.

Author: I remember that when I posted this imagine for my Brazilian readers, I said that this idea came to me when I was taking a shower. This sounds crazy, I know!! But it was one of the imagines that I enjoyed writing the most.

[voxtechofficial]

What was your life like before you died?

Cw, discussion of child abu$e, neglect, and mentions of alcohol below the cut! Be advised!

Well. I mean, I was the 4th kid out of seven. Heh, yeah. Catholic families and shit.

Anyway, I was sort of on my own most of my life. Mom would rather scream at me or lock me out of the house and Dad barely even acknowledged my existence.

My siblings were alright for the most part. My oldest brother, Mark, was always a bit stuck up, but mostly tried to take care of the younger kids. Oldest sister, Vanessa, always tried her best to pick up where Mom failed. Her and Mark were always making sure we had food, water, sunlight, all the shit a kid needs.

Then there's my baby sister... Violet. She found me when I died. But... I'm getting ahead of myself.

By the time I was in Middle School I was a troublemaker by design. Usually it involved destruction of school property. Graffiti, throwing rocks at windows, all that shit. Usually landed me in detention.

This carried over into High School. But one day, while I was in detention, they were talking about career paths and shit like that and they mentioned some brand new technology. Television. And people would get up on the TV and present the news, weather, you name it! Some people even had their own shows where they did whatever they wanted for the audience! I was hooked.

I went home that day and told my parents I wanted to be a TV star. Yeah, I slept outside that night, heh.

Anyway, years go by and I manage to get this internship for some program at my Church. Everyone starts somewhere, so I figured I'd take it. The show lasted for a few years before they just couldn't afford all the actors and editing costs. The show was shut down. I lost it, threw a fit and broke a whole bunch of shit. Beat the shit out of my costar too.

I went back home and basically started drowning my problems in alcohol. It was during the holidays, so I was staying at my folks' place. I lost track of how many by the time the next morning rolled around.

Next thing I knew, I was dead. But before I went to Hell, I got to stick around my body for a bit. And I see Violet... Walking over to wake me up to tell me that breakfast is ready.

I never woke up. And she had to see me like that. I don't think I'll ever forget that terrified look in her eyes. I really ruined Christmas with that whole stunt, heh...