#i totally forgot that most of this book just happens in the dark? or like. in the moonlight and everything is dark

[aldoodles]

This part in book 8 never fails to make me cackle

[girlashfur]

fuck it. warriors ask game except the questions are all weird and niche as hell

👴 : fav elder?

❓️ : fav total background character (im not talking minor characters like say. whitewing or moonlight, i mean cats with like...3 lines tops)

📖 : fav comic page from any of the mangas and why

👶 : how old were you when you first touched a warriors book? howd it happen

💢 : what scene made you the most irrationally angry upon first reading

💧 : how many times have you cried over this wretched book series? any favorite memories

💋 : is there any ships out there you absolutely hate for genuinely no good reason at all. like its not problematic in the slightest, if anything it's one of the better ones, you just cannot bring yourself to enjoy it

🐾 : have you ever named a cat after a warriors character OR given a cat a warriors styled name? if so, tell us the story

1️⃣ : was warriors your first animal based fantasy series? if not, what series was?

👑 : when roleplaying (if you ever have roleplayed warrior cats), did you used to power play? be honest.

🗺 : first map you ever watched?

🖼 : first amv/pmv you ever watched?

🖌 : when did you make your first warriors oc? (if you say you've never had OCs, i dont believe you)

📝 : if commanded to, without warning, approximately how many paragraphs could you write about your favorite warrior cat before you ran out of things to say

💔 : have you ever lost friends over warriors related topics?

🌈 : what's the most 2010s wcforum era esque fandom opinion you still hold onto and will fight people over (things like scourges collar color, dovewings eye color, etc)

🆕️ : are you still up to date / reading the new books? if not, when did you stop?

📱 : were you ever on warriors amino? (if you were, i'm terribly sorry)

🏠 : about how much do your family know about warrior cats, if anything?

🎶 : give me a song you're surprised you haven't seen turned into a warriors pmv yet - and what character(s) you imagine it to

🎥 : fav warriors related youtuber?

❎️ : what's the weirdest crossover au involving warrior cats that you've made? (if you haven't made any, then what's the weirdest one you've seen?)

🗳 : if you could make any cat leader of any clan right now, who would you pick?

🌟 : would you hypothetically go to starclan or the dark forest?

🤔 : what's the biggest series plothole that's bugged you?

😱 : how many people have you blocked over innocuous, not at all important warriors related takes?

☯️ : what dynamic between two cats has got you up at night pacing for hours? (romantic, platonic, familial, etc)

🌫 : what's a cat you genuinely forgot existed until recently?

[paradisedumpling]

The Unbitten Pomegranate

_________________________________________

TROPE: GoddessOfDeath!Karina x GoddessOfLife!Reader; lil bit of angst; some fluff; Greek Mythology; this is more character focused than couple focused iykwim

SYNOPSIS: spring has come, and with it, feelings resurfaced in the hearts of two very different but so similar beings

CONTENT WARNING: descriptions of death (no major characters though); feelings of loneliness; underworld mentioned a bit often; Hades and Persephone are hinted to have/had a relationship; weird grammar; I'm so sleepy I definitely forgot some stuff I'm sorry guys

A/N¹: I wrote this in 2021 in another language and just google translated it, so if the grammar is all weird I'm so sorry 😭

A/N²: I would also just like to adress that I wrote this at 16 years of age and my view of Hades and Persephone's relationship was very romanticized at the time, and I understand today (at 19) that it definitely isn't like that. The only thing hinted here is that Karina is their daughter and I totally understand if you're uncomfortable reading it, there's no problem skipping this, always care for your health first no matter what.

_________________________________________

It's spring again. Flowers bloom, lovers enjoy the serene climate, and animals wake up from their long hibernation. The best time of the year, many would say. For most people, maybe it is, but not for her.

For her, all spring brings are those who didn't survive the winter. Those who are allergic to pollen, who do not have much immune defense in the beloved season. The withered flowers, discarded after being gifted in numbers due to the lack of something more sentimental in a supposed special date. And everything else that spring cannot have.

Spring is nothing more than a pretty cover for a long-damaged book. Maybe it's her ignorance. She has never experienced the beauty that many say spring possess, just all the bad things that every season brings. She can't see so much beauty in something that causes so many problems. But she can't help but long to feel that feeling one day, if it even exists.

So, yes, it must be her ignorance that prevents her from seeing a beautiful story behind the pretty cover.

Either way, torn or newly processed pages, it doesn't matter. It will never matter. Spring is something distant, just like any other season, or living thing. Life and beauty are not something you find easily in the world she lives in. Unless it's something from outside, something that shouldn't be there, everything is cold, dark, vulgar and even tenebrous, on some days.

Something beautiful and full of life like spring is just a distant desire, a longing for something you never had or will never have again, a heartache you will never overcome.

There is no reason to ponder on something as distant as spring, so why is she here Standing at the passage that leads the underworld to the overworld, and vice versa. Thinking about the irrelevance of something she never had, never wanted.

Why did she suddenly care so much about the world above her own? A world that only holds grudges against her home, her family, her work. A world that doesn't deserve a second of her thought.

So why are she still here? Standing. Looking. Pondering. Wishing.

Maybe she didn't want to know at that moment. She didn't want to admit what she feared would be the answer to her questions.

It wasn't worth it anyway. Nothing would happen, as usual. Nothing happens. Nothing good, at least. It never happened and it will never happen. There is no reason to create hope that something good would happen.

Feelings like hope only bring more pain and she had no time for stupid feelings like this.

She had no time to feel anything but apathy toward the souls that roam her world and the monsters imprisoned in her land by someone who lied to himself about having power over everyone and everything.

She didn't have time for silly feelings and stupid thoughts.

And much less time to stay here, standing, thinking about meaningless things like the stupid spring and the stupid–

Maybe she's going too far. She shouldn't let her stress take over her reason. Her father always told her that the best way to release stress was to throw sinners into a river of lava. It's not the best option, but it's still viable.

On the other hand, her mother, a much wiser and calmer woman, always said that the best method was to take a deep breath and ask someone experienced for advice.

She could talk to her mother about this, she had always been the best at giving advice.

But her mother wasn't here. She was there, enjoying the wonders of spring, along with all the joys of the world above and that damned red hair that wouldn't leave her head, and–

"Miss?"

Yes, she didn't have time. She didn't have time because she had important tasks that couldn't be postponed. The arrival of spring also meant a new year, a new cycle. And like all other cycles, it was accompanied by problems that could only be solved by her.

She had work to do, and she didn't have time to dwell on the irrelevance of spring. Or the absence of her mother. Or those red locks that sometimes obstructed the beautiful features that her hope carried.

She didn't have time.

So she turned around and followed the butler to where her duties called. At least then she could forget. She didn't have to question it, much less deny it. She didn't have to wish.

Spring wasn't important, nor were her disjointed feelings.

---------------------------------------------------

It's spring again. Flowers bloom, lovers enjoy the serene climate, and animals wake up from their long hibernation. The best time of the year, if anyone asked you.

Not that they needed to.

If the smile on your face and the laughter you let out as you ran through the woods were nothing more than clear indications of your satisfaction with the arrival of spring.

Everything was so beautiful, so bright, so full of life. You couldn't think of a single soul who didn't like spring. Not even those who are gone and now inhabit the underworld.

Everyone has experienced spring, there's no way not to love it.

Everything was perfect, except one thing; the absence of those deep eyes.

You don't remember the first time you noticed them, but you know that since then, you've never forgotten them. It was as if you were drawn to them, that if you watched them for a long period of time you would forget the world around you.

When was the last time you had seen those captivating eyes? Two or three decades ago? Perhaps even a century has passed. So much time and you still hadn't forgotten that gaze; maybe you were getting sick.

With each passing season, you looked forward to the opportunity to see her again. You didn't even know the name of the one with such captivating eyes, but you were determined to find out.

It couldn't be difficult, right? The underworld doesn't have that many Gods and deities, so it shouldn't be a difficult mission.

Determined, you ran to the end of the hill, jumping over trunks and roots with grace, leaving a path of flowers where you feet touched.

Perhaps your mother knew something about those of the underworld. You could ask your uncle too. For all you knew, he had friends down there.

"Mother!" You ran into the temple, being careful not to bump into any of the animals on the way. "Mother!" You saw your mother in the garden, a Swallow on her finger, while she took care of its wing, which appeared to be injured. Both the bird and your mother looked at you in surprise at your sudden appearance. "Are you busy?" You stopped running, rubbing your hands behind your back in embarrassment, taking a few steps back to give your mother and the animal space. "I can come back another time, no problem."

"It isn't necessary. We were already finishing here." Your mother caressed the bird's beak, walking to a tree and leaving it on one of the low branches. Turning around, your mother walked towards you with a welcoming smile. "What's the curiosity of the moment, dear? You never come like this unless you have something to ask me." Your mother laughed, guiding you to the garden behind the temple. "So, what do you want to know?"

"I want to know about the Gods of the underworld." Your mother stopped walking, looking at you as if you had grown three heads. Well, you had never asked about this subject before. Maybe if you explained your reasoning, she would relax. "It's just... Well... There's this Goddess and–"

"You didn't eat any fruit that these people offered you, right?" The serious tone in her voice made you look at you mother in surprise. It was rare that your mother used that tone of voice directed at you. "Honey, if they're bothering you, just tell me and I'll sort it out quickly. They will see what happens for messing with my baby." The bow and arrow materialized in the hand of the Goddess, who had a determined and angry expression.

"What? No! Mother!" You moved in front of your mother, one hand on her right shoulder and the other holding her left wrist, avoiding that she raised the bow in the air. "No one is bothering me, much less offering me fruits from the underworld. Don't worry." Your mother looked at you cautiously, analyzing you for any signs of lies.

After a while, she finally relaxed, the bow and arrow dematerializing from her hands.

"Why are you curious about that place so suddenly?" She asked, resuming her walking and looking at you curiously. "Don't you know enough? Everything in that place is horrible, as is every being that inhabits it. From the King of the Underworld, to his heirs, his servants, the other Gods and all those monsters that are sparsely contained in an open field. What kind of idea is that?! To leave all these life-destroying monsters with so much comfort and the pleasure of free mobility? That man must be out of his mind if he thinks the best idea is to let those atrocities be free like that."

You were a little afraid by the way your mother talked about the underworld. You knew it wasn't the ideal place, but it wasn't that bad. It can not be. If the Goddess of Spring herself chose to live there, it shouldn't be so bad.

And those black eyes that captivated your attention. You never saw any evil in them.

Only melancholy, but never evil.

You couldn't imagine them carrying that evil fire that everyone says the Gods of the underworld have by nature.

"I just- I was just curious." You replied, not wishing to hear any more disgust from your mother. "I was wondering, with the end of winter, that many of the animals that didn't survive are there now. I was just curious about what happens once you die and go there, nothing more. I'm sorry if I offended you somehow."

"Oh, honey. You didn't offend me." You mother placed a hand on your cheek. "But I don't want to hear any more about this matter. We don't know if it attracts them." Your mother shook her head, as if shaking off the thoughts. "And don't speak about these insensitive subjects around the animals. They might become sad." She looked around, noticing some of the animals that visited the temple looking at the two of you curiously.

The Swallow from before was looking at you with an intimidating intensity.

"I'm sorry again." Smiling, you adjusted your dress and put your hair back. "I better go now, I still have to check how the animals to the south are doing. I also have to see the farmers' crops in the plains. So I still have a lot to do."

"Yes. I'm also very busy." Your mother called two deers with her hand, which were probably waiting to be attended to before you got there. "Don't come back late, alright?"

With a final nod of your head, your went on your way out of the temple, still thinking about the dark-eyed Goddess who has been occupying your mind for so long.

---------------------------------------------------

The grand Mount Olympus, where the greatest Gods in the world are found. The most beautiful and purest place in the world, where everything is perfect and everyone treats you with affection and respect; or so they say.

For her, Mount Olympus was just a place where several ignorant and selfish people lived, too busy filling their own egos to think about anything similar to 'affection and respect'.

If someone one day were to gain the privilege, or the misfortune, of being called to this place, you can be assured that it was only for the selfishness and egotism of the God who called upon you.

Luckily for her, she didn't have to come to Olympus often. A meeting her father couldn't attend once in a century was better than coming here every week.

But that didn't mean she liked coming here.

Every word her uncle spoke was a sigh that left her mouth. She was bored and starting to get irritated with the aimless conversation.

She felt sorry for her father for having to actively participate in these meetings. Most of the time they didn't discuss anything related to the underworld, but he still had to come. She understood why he spent so much time in the lava river when he returned home.

At least there was one thing she tolerated in all of this; The Goddess with red hair.

You seemed so calm, occasionally giving opinions, smiling at everyone, looking at her....

Looking at her?! Were you looking at her?!

Disbelieved, she turned her gaze, trying to calm her heart and ease her embarrassment, opting to touch her glass full of wine, which had not been touched until this moment.

After a while, she looked again, realizing that you were still looking at her. This time, giving her a smile when you saw her return your gaze.

She didn't know what to do, she was never caught looking at the you, much less interacted with you.

Not wanting to ignore you, she waved her hand discreetly and turned her gaze away again, not wanting to attract the attention of the other Gods.

She wasn't going crazy, she couldn't. She ignored those feelings for so long, occupying herself with her work in the underworld and the certainty that you hated her, just like all the other Gods.

So why were you and your beautiful red hair looking and smiling at her at that moment?

She didn't want to think about the reasons at that moment, and she had never been so relieved when her uncle announced a break in the meeting, which should have been going on for hours.

Rising from her father's throne, she silently left the meeting hall and went to the garden of Olympus, probably the only truly beautiful and pure thing in that entire place.

Walking along the path at the entrance to the garden, she saw a Swallow near the carnation flowerbed. Approaching cautiously, but keeping a reasonable distance from the bird, she crouched down and admired the animal, a small smile on her face.

The times she came to the garden of Mount Olympus were one of the few moments when she could witness life, not just the remains of it. One of the few moments she could forget who she was.

"I was hoping I'd find you here." She knew that voice. If it were anyone else, she would eternally curse them for interrupting her moment, but not you.

Sighing, she looked at the Swallow one last time, as if hoping that the animal would enlighten her mind with ideas to escape that situation. She didn't know if she was ready to face the owner of red hair she long admired.

Deciding to accept that this time there was no escaping, she turned around, finally facing the one who inhabited her mind more than she would like to admit.

"I... I would like to talk." She looked behind you, not wanting any of the other Gods to see the two of you together. She didn't want to cause any problems. "If you want of course." You turned your gaze away, red flowers springing around you, giving away your shyness.

That sight got a small laugh out of her, earning a confused look from you.

"Your mother wouldn't like to see you with me. Or none of the others, for that matter." She turned to watch the flowers again.

She was afraid of being distracted by the beauty of the Goddess in front of her, she didn't want to cause herself any embarrassment.

"What would you like to talk about? I can't imagine what a Goddess of life could want with a Goddess of death." She looked at the your red hair from the corner of her eye. "If you wish to know how to bring someone back to the world of the living, I am afraid that there is no way to do such a thing." When you didn't immediately respond, she knew she never had a chance.

She should never have had hoped. You must hate her, just as everyone else despises her.

"What is your favorite animal?" What? "I imagine there shouldn't be many in the underworld, but there must be some animal that pleases you the most."

Maybe she was really going crazy. No one from Olympus ever asked her anything personal, she were certainly hearing things.

But you curiously looked at her, waiting for her answer, as you slowly sat down next to her.

Turning her head away in embarrassment, she replied. "I like sea animals. I never actually got to see the sea, so I find them fascinating. But I don't have any specific ones. There aren't many books on the subject at home and I don't want to have favorites before I have greater knowledge about the area." When she looked at you again, you had a big smile on your face. "What about you? I mean, if you have one. I don't think the Life and Fauna Goddess has a favorite animal."

You laughed, approaching her and leaning in to say something in her ear.

"Don't let the others hear." You looked at the Swallow, who was watching the two of you curiously. "But I have a weak spot when it comes to beavers. They are so kind." The two of you shared a laugh, falling into a comfortable silence soon after, watching the bird try to take one of the carnations from the flowerbed in its beak. "Y/n." You extended your hand, giving her the sweetest and most sincere smile she had ever received in her entire existence, your gracious red locks flowing with the wind making the scene the most beautiful sight she had ever seen.

"Karina." She smiled back. It was a strange act, she wasn't used to it, but it wasn't undesirable. "Maybe we should head back." She looked at the entrance to the garden, being able to hear some of the other Gods, who should be returning to the meeting hall at the moment. "We can finish this conversation another time." She stood up, extending her hand to help you get up.

"Will there be another time? Cool." She heard you mumble, containing her laughter at it. "Yeah, at another time." The bird took flight, taking two carnation flowers with it. "It really must be time to go back." You two exchanged one last smile, starting the walk back to the boring meeting room.

But maybe it wouldn't be so tedious anymore. Perhaps she would accompany her father to Olympus more often.

And maybe she could wish. Maybe she could admire her hope outside of her memories.

And maybe, just maybe, Karina was beginning to understand the mysterious beauty of spring.

_________________________________________

a/n: y'all I know the moodboard is terrible but I'm so tired and sleepy I can barely see my phone screen, I'll fix it tomorrow I promise 🙏

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thank you for reading!! <3

[cm-lily]

I read a fanfic once, I forgot which one. But in that fic, they have this idea where Gem and Grian's base has this... Foggy vibe to it. Like compare it to the cherry mountain that's all pink and petals and then you have these two bases which are straight up The Horrors™

I Just love that idea

So much I've been thinking, what if the whole Magic Mountain is surrounded by fog? A magic fog and mist that just always surround the area and got thicker as the sun set further. The area always seems cloudy. As if there is an eternal cloud forever covering the mountains. It's either raining, or storm, or cloudy. The only time it's clear is when Grian finally got his mending book, the pink snail arrive, and it switch to storm when Scar got the mending book. (He got struck by lightning a few time if he reaches that area)

Joel's base not only has lantern illuminating it, but souls as well. They didn't stay idle, but never went too far. Some of them even transform, Into tanuki or fox or wolves and even Koi fish and Axolotl. That fly in the air instead of water, obviously.

Sometimes there's things passing by on Impulse's build. Something tall and slender, with long limbs and sharp claws. They're not Enderman, Enderman don't crawl. Impulse said they're cool if you pretend they didn't exist and just let them... Lurks around.

Something is wrong with Mumbo's base. I want to call it decaying, but it's not. It's more like redstone veins appear around the blackened grass, the air smells like gunpowder and something acid. Or maybe copper.

Many hermits had reported seeing the sight of a statue angel that just appear on top of Skizz's unfinished Pyramid. It appear when they're looking at it, but then they look around and it's gone. The statue has never been in the same position everytime someone look at it.

Most people don't like going to Scar's base at night, not only because of how creepy it look like surrounded by those fog. Like the rest of them, something strange always happens. Like animals looking bigger and more beast-like the moment night arrive, ever seen a cow just grows multiple horns and it sounds like those horn are breaking out of it's skull? Or that one time, one time his horse stand up on two feet? Probably not. Scar said they're harmless. Except for the snail—he said. The snail isn't his. That's why they damaged his build and become a nuisance.

(There was once a time, a time where clouds whirled around his ore pillar, clouds that are made of limbs and hand and eyes and it just stretched and climb down from the pillar. It never reach the ground, fortunately.)

Grian never stopped fishing. Even if it rains or stormed outside. He's smelly and that's why snails like him and his horse don't. Totally not because Pluto saw him turn into giant mer-man with many eyes and tails and sharp tooth. Definitely not. Don't feel weird when you feel like you're being watched. Or because shadow-like silhouette wander around his wheat farm, or a silhouette of something massive that was illuminated everytime lightning strikes, looking down from the cherry mountain toward his and Gem's base and, occasionally, you felt like you found a body you recognize in the water—

And that's where Gem comes in! Gem is someone who stopped you before you decide to jump in the water and check who's that corpse is. And the one who shooed off the many eyes that lurk in the muddy river side of Grian's base. Grian hates her for that but there's nothing he can do. Gem, like Grian, is someone who can walk in the middle of the storm unharmed. Most of the time, she make sure that none of the hermits fell into the trick of her other neighbors.

just don't let that distract you from the fact one of her build is actually sentient and breathing and is always staring at you. Or the fact there's blood around the rocky shores if you squint into the dark river/soon-to-be-ocean. Or the fact that, just like the angler, the skull always felt like it's watching even if there's no actually eyes in it's socket. Gem is always present when you want to have a tour or just so happened to passed that area, but... If she's not there to guide you, would it even be worth it to be stabbed with a trident and got dragged into the water?

[makode-name]

What is Palladi's backstory 👀 been wanting to know for months

Well, he's a victim of someone really wanting revenge :D

What if I told you Palladi never was meant to be in a Jedi Order in a first place!

I was heavily relying on JK and SW storyline while creating him, but that meant that I have to mess up SWTOR timeline, because Palladi needed some space to be born and grow up a little. And I was, you know, kinda alright with that.

UNTIL now, when it raises more questions than answers

So, Sith Warrior campaign helped to create a sort of legacy villain, that I haven't introduced yet, for some reason (maybe cause I totally forgot about him xDD). Hence let's pretend it's the same, or maybe not the same Jedi-Knight and Emperor's Wrath.

Palladi's father willingly outcasted out (hehe) of Order because he felt like he failed in let's say something related to Emperor's Wrath, but most realisticly simply because he wanted a happy ever after life with my smuggler, as mri'tan and mri'te, husband and wife, officially. So they found a nice cozy place to lay low and he promised himself, that if their child(ren) will be force sensitive, he will train them himself, sharing all the knowledge he absorbed over the years and shaping them as a person of their own creed.

Years gone, the baby was born, turned out force sensitive, things were more than alright.

And here where the backfire happens. Emperor's Wrath tracks them down as if there was no better moment, seeking revenge. Long story short, spooky sith pureblood kills Palladi's father by decapitation leaving poor little fella scarred with PTSD and annoying father ghost. Jokes aside, the reason Wrath didn't kill Palladi is to leave him alone with this memory, the image of an enormous sith lord, standing and looking at him with it's deep-red lightsaber ignited and those mad glowing eyes, all the feelings and emotions attached so Palladi will be growing up with his own revenge somewhere deep in his heart and when the time comes Wrath will reappear and drag him more into the dark side. My guy just prepped the soil.

So, little Palladi being around 5-6 years old is rescued by an old family friend (maybe T7, maybe Bowdaar, bc they're the only companions who can live that long) and is given to Satele (oh no cringe) because she served alongside his father and was a good friend to him as well (and probably cause I like the idea of pallade growing together with theron) and that's how he gets into the Jedi Order.

I hope you didn't die by the end 😭

*inhales*

in the Jedi Order, at the beginning, Palladi didn't really want to participate in whatever was going on there. He was quite isolated, often missing trainings to spend more time within books because he wanted to learn more about his father.

somewhere deep he's still a scared little boy, waiting for his papa to return 🥺

thank you for your question 💜✨💚 I hope waiting for this didn't disappoint you xdd

[thistlecatfics]

Tedromeda Rec List

I put together a Tedromeda rec list for an anon ask of @spindrifters, and I figured it ought to be its own post! I like messy, imperfect, bordering on toxic Tedromeda, and I especially love lesbian!Tedromeda so if those are not your things you may not vibe with this rec list and that's ok! But if they are -

Turncoat: in defense of andromeda tonks nee black, @ink-splotch (8.3k) 

“When her little cousin Sirius got disowned too, years later, Andromeda sent him a fruit basket.”

This fic was so big and so brilliant and the world building is so excellent. It made me cry. I had to triple check the word count in putting it here because it seems so much longer because it’s just so rich with life and detail. 

War, or Peace, or Whatever This Is, Slyboots (7.6k) 

“Fall in line, that’s the way, and never mind who gives the orders. Carrying on, that’s the British national sport.”In the aftermath of the Fall of the Ministry of Magic, Andromeda Tonks does what little good she can.”

I love a war time fic with complicated world building and no good choices. Really brilliant fic. The sharp, fast moving pace adds to the paranoid anything-can-happen-at-any-moment feeling of a coup.

In Memoriam, Bitterfic on LiveJournal (6k)

“When he was young, brash, he had said that the Muggle-born were as good as any purebloods, yet he had never doubted that Andromeda Black was infinitely superior to him. Even after twenty-five years of marriage, he never thought of her by his name, as Andromeda Tonks. She was to him always Andromeda Black whose voice cut through the darkness that night in the Forbidden Forest.” (cw: sexual assault, suicidal ideation) 

A brilliant haunting little fic from my favorite LJ writer from wayyy back in the day. Ted Tonks POV

Andromeda Liberata (133k+ WIP) (lesbian Tedromeda) 

“In which Andromeda Black cruelly betrays her sisters and sets in motion the total destruction of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black because she fell in love with a lesbian muggleborn.”

While it might be tacky to put your own fic in a rec list,  I’m quite proud of it :)

i don’t forgive you (but please don’t hold me to it) by evawrites (10k, T) (lesbian Tedromeda)

For Andromeda, the choice is not between the Dark and the Light. It’s not between Headmaster Dumbledore and the Dark Lord, not between Teddy’s family and her own. Instead, it’s between Bella and Teddy. Foolishly, Andromeda prays she’ll get to keep both.(She gets to keep neither.)

Dark and haunting and the contrast between Bellatrix and Ted is so well set up.

history books forgot about us by spindrifters (25k, E)

Andromeda Black meets Ted Tonks quite by accident, and it’s something like mischief at first sight. From the lost papers and mixed-up files of the marginalia universe, the complete history of a relationship that was never meant to happen.

This canon-divergent universe is everything, and these two recklessly in love kids are everything to me!

wherefore/evermore by @leftsidedown (150 words, T)

continuing the Great Literary Tradition of mad women writing villanelles

A poem!!

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And then some Andromeda-centric fic where Tedromeda is important but it's not really a shippy fic:

not like the rest of them by unspeakable3 (11k, T)

Sirius has recently followed in Andromeda's footsteps and emancipated himself from their family. This afternoon, the two cousins will reunite - and see each other for the first time in four years. Andromeda is nervous. Sirius is nervous. There is a lot they need to say to each other.

Imperfect runaways!!

we were sisters once (we have another love now) by Nefaria_Black (3k, T)

Dora is six and few things are more exciting than a day spent in Diagon Alley. Even if the street is packed with people. Even if she’s separated from her parents by the crowd Because Mother is easy enough to find, isn’t she?

Haunting fairytale vibes

The Waves by nanneramma (3k, M)

Andromeda is not sure if she got it right. But she tried.

Gorgeous canon-compliant character study

-

And for those who like some Blackcest with their Tedromeda:

Clip, Ravel, Cleave by @vdoshu (15k, E)

Before Andromeda met Ted, she was a Black, through and through. While years later the story was told that she’d turned her back on her family’s dark ways, in truth, nothing was so simple.In the beginning, it was just Andromeda and Bella. And it was just the two of them until it was too much.

An all-time favorite featuring Andromeda and Ted meeting after Hogwarts and dark magic addiction and all sorts of dark goodness

[samsvenn]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐬' 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

karl gave each of the boys diaries. little do they know that each diary was infused with magic so he could peek through some pages. each of the brothers HAVE to wrote something within an allotted time or they have to suffer consequences; a motivator for them to not just scribble on one page and never look inside it again after completing an 'entry'

𝐒𝐡𝐮

“today was nothing special. just like everyday. i wish the house was quiet 

but just like everyday wishing it’ll never come true  Laito played something on the piano. i remember it from when he just just a child.

but like everyone in this ragged house  i don’t want to be burdened of what happened in that godforsaken castle.”

-Shu

Shu’s diary is full of wiggly, barely legible lines. He uses cursive and doesn't let his pen lift off from the word he’s currently writing unless it’s for a space. It’s so small and swooshy that only some pages can be read by him and no one other than him.

He writes the date on the left; just the month and day, nothing more.

Everything is to the left so that he won’t waste more time shifting his arm. He likes to waste energy but only on his accord.

His diary looks like an antique: old yellowed leathered where even the smallest bit of dust is visible, pages so thin and brittle that you’re scared to turn them but can’t stop, there’s a small place in the center to place a photo but that place was removed and scrubbed off with alcohol to erase its existence because a certain blonde doesn’t want to be reminded of how detached he is socially. 

Funnily enough, his signature is shaped like a music clef. It’s smaller compared to the rest of the others and if the ‘H’ wasn’t there, it’d totally be just a bunch of wavy lines he compiled while trying to not nod off.

Most of the stuff in his diary is three paragraphs or less.

Uses a water-based felt tip marker. He doesn’t like scratchy feeling markers and he doesn’t like those pens where you have to press really hard just for them to write. The kind he chose is also a motivator for him to write from how frictionless and buttery smooth it glides on paper. Color doesn’t matter for Shu. But because it’s water-based, the ink may fade and it’ll even be more opaque since Shu hardly put any pressure on his pens when he writes.

It’s like that pen you had in school where you felt like you could write a whole novelette in the span of one period just because it was so good.

The stuff he writes in his diary are all mostly pet peeves he has from living in the manor.

That is if he decides to write. This man is NOT consistent at all. Sometimes he’ll write an entry four days later and others, he’ll write back an entry two months and a blue moon after that.

Dust had collected between the pageswhen he accidentally left it out under his bed and forgot about it.

He definitely has ink blobs on his pages.

Doesn’t like to read back on the previous entries. It only burdens him by reminding him of what he can’t have and what he can’t solve so it’s all just a personal vent book that he’ll either burn or discard by locking it away in Cordelia’s abandoned walk-in closet because none of the triplets dare to walk inside there, Reiji hates the stench of the strong potent perfumes that had alcohol as a major ingredient and Subaru’s afraid to even touch Shu’s book; in fear of what would happen if he did.

𝐒𝐮𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐮

"Fuck SCHOOL FUCK Reiji Fuck EVERYONE IN This DAMNED House" -Subaru

"School was a bitch Teacher sucked ass Ayato is just like his mom dumb and a whore for attention My coffin is my escape and he put itching power in it Gonna go and cut his jersey"

-Subaru

Uses sharpies. It’s either dark blue or black for color. He doesn’t like to write in warm colors because it reminds him of the triplet’s hairs and that thought is enough to get his blood boiling since already they tease him relentlessly like their job.

Uses a jumbo/king sized one because he likes to grip it with all five fingers; similar to that of a drummer’s. It also fits his hands better because the regular one slips away too often in his grip when his hands get sweaty.

His handwriting looks like graffiti: some letters are boxy, some are wide, lots of scribbles and doodles here and there. He thought it was cool and went along with it.

It doesn't look uniform too. He writes quick and there's no straight formation. His words droop at the end or some words in the middle are higher than the others.

His “F” strokes are very elongated and any sharp-edged letter for that sake. It helps him relieve a little bit of pent up anger as he drags the writing strokes through the page, almost ripping two pages beneath it.

He likes to hear his markers squeak. There’s a satisfaction knowing that he could theoretically make any object cry out from his immeasurable strength. 

He considers humans as objects so think of that how you will.

His diary is also full of venting. Honestly, I think that every Sakamaki vents using their diary which is why they’re so protective over it. He hides his diary where he hides his foot fetish magazines. Ayato and Laito thought that they hit the jackpot when they found Subaru’s Playboy stash but little do they know that there was a bigger steal they could’ve exposed if they spent more time looking at the bottom of his rancid dirty underwear bin.

I feel bad for anyone who has accidentally touched his diary tbh

Keep this man at a distance if you see him with his diary in his hand. If you don’t want to, then I’m sorry to tell you this but you and Laito both have something in common: a scent kink.

Writes about what made him mad that day and who caused it.

Also writes about his least favorite teachers and his plans on how to get them fired. Subaru stole the panties of a hookup Laito had from school and placed it inside his Latin Teacher’s desk. The Latin Teacher commented on how Subaru’s attire was “Not fit for a prestigious school. Or, any school for that fact”. 

The teacher was not only fired, but got sued and is now a registered se❌ offender as a result. Now, he can’t enter any schools within a 45 radius. 

He’s very sensitive when it comes to his appearance as a result of his upbringing with Christa so he is HIGHLY explosive and volatile on any comments he’ll receive, especially sly pompous remarks.

His diary looks like all of the pages are about to fall off at any given moment. Pieces of invisible tape has been detected at the spine in an effort to have a quick solution to the problem. The front cover is holding on for dear life and it’s so wrinkled that even a granny would look young compared to it. It’s thick and the weight is unusual for a diary. Subaru has a LOT to write about so the thickness isn’t only a great cover up for the ink that has bleed through the pages, but a cover-up for the emotional vulnerable hidden deep in random pages out of 550.

[everybody-loves-purdy]

My 2023 Warriors reread!

As you may know, we celebrate 20 years of warrior cats in 2023, so I decided to do my long overdue reread of every single book this year. I thought it would be fun/interesting to keep everyone updated with my progress and thoughts, so here is how this is going to work.

To reduce spam, this is going to be a regularly updated master post containing a continually updated tier list. I’m going to have a short pinned post containing a link to this post, and update that with what book I’m currently reading. I also thought it would be fun to have one sentence reviews/ statements/ thoughts about each book.

Since I have very recently reread River, Sky, and Onestar’s Confession, they’re already on the tier list/review list (I couldn’t find a tier list with Sky yet so that won’t be on the list itself but it still gets a ranking). I will mostly read the books in publication order with a few exceptions which include reading all books in a single arc together, and reading a few books in a reading order I prefer more.

As books come out this year I will pause my reread to read those, give them a review, and then continue my reread after they’re done.

Anyway, the tier list:

One sentence thoughts on each book:

Into the Wild - A - No wonder this thing got like 100 sequels.

Fire and Ice - B - Graystripe commits manslaughter twice in this book.

Forest of Secrets - S - This book is littered with so many good character moments throughout, and despite reading this book more times than I can remember, the third act is still so tense and emotionally driven for me.

Rising Storm - A - This book is quite chill until Runningwind dies and it all just gets more dramatic from there, I always am unprepared for how hard Yellowfang’s death hits.

A Dangerous Path - A - Seeing just how ill Bluestar gets in this book is absolutely heartbreaking.

The Darkest Hour - S - What an excellent way to end the arc, and what would have been at the time the whole series, special shout out to that guy Vicky knew/knows which came up with the initial idea of Scourge.

Firestar’s Quest - B - The only real problem I have with this book is the extremely forced Spottedleaf relationship drama.

Midnight - A - I do not remember liking this book this much last time I read it at all, I wasn’t expecting this to get an A, I really like the character interactions in this particularly.

Moonrise - D - You know in games where you choose to play a side quest but it goes on way too long and you can’t wait for it to be over, yeah that’s this book’s Tribe plot.

Dawn - B - The workmen in this book are pretty terrible people, one deliberately injures a cat and most of them just don’t seem to care when several cats are running around their active heavy machinery.

Starlight - C - Brambleclaw please stfu.

Twilight - C - I already can’t remember most of what happened in this book and I finished it about 10 minutes ago.

Sunset - B - I was on the fence about whether to give this C or B but the Hawkfrost confrontation pushed it to B.

Rise of Scourge - A - Wherever Scourge is living there’s a pretty severe feral cat problem judging by the overhead shots showing them littering the street.

The Sight - S - I forgot how good the character interactions are in this book.

The Lost Warrior - C - I feel really bad for Millie’s owner, she clearly loved Millie a lot.

Warrior’s Refuge - C - Why does that cat have a hereditary 90s haircut?

Warrior’s Return - C - Diesel is the best part of this book, he’s great.

Secrets of the Clans - B - A cute field guide, it’s interesting to see in particular the stuff which ended up becoming dotc, and how those stories in the book are presented as the stories as how the clans know them rather than be totally accurate.

Dark River - B - The character interactions really hold this together, it would definitely be a C tier book if based on the plot alone.

Outcast - E - There’s a few good character moments, especially from Breezepaw, but otherwise the book is just racist and boring.

Eclipse - A - I wanted to keep reading this despite having my life consumed by tears of the kingdom so you know it’s good.

Long Shadows - B - Everything before the fire scene was C and the fire scene and beyond was S so it all evened out to an B to me.

Cats of the Clans - C - It’s fine, that’s all I really have to say about it.

Sunrise - S - What a tragic story for so many involved, and the emotional beats are absolutely nailed.

Into the woods - D - The priceless look on the big handsome cat’s face was the best part of the book

Escape from the Forest - C - She should have stayed with the captain and Patch, I hope she went back to them later on

Return to the Clans - D- In hindsight maybe Sasha shouldn’t have insisted to her kits that Tigerstar was misunderstood and other cats just didn’t understand him

Code of the Clans - A - It’s a shame more and more of this is becoming retconned, I like to still think that it’s all still canon bar the elements of the stories that directly contradict new canon.

Bluestar’s Prophecy - A- It’s a miracle no one in ThunderClan immediately recognised Mistypaw and Stonepaw at their first gathering only mere moons after the identical Mistykit and Stonekit supposedly died.

The Fourth Apprentice - A - Jayfeather just can’t catch a break can he?

Fading Echoes - B - I feel so bad for both Dovepaw and Ivypaw, I thought to myself “oh honey… no” so many times reading each of their POVs.

Battles of the Clans - C- How and why does Cedarheart know about SkyClan in this?

Shattered Peace - C - Willie is the worst BloodClan cat name ever, imagine losing your home to a cat named Willie.

A Clan in Need - B - It was very satisfying to see Violet and Barley beat up their abusive brothers.

Heart of a Warrior - B - the last 3 pages are a RavenBarley shipper’s dream.

SkyClan’s Destiny - D - I did like many of the character moments, and almost rated the book higher on those alone, but the plot is just a bunch of random things happening before the main plot gets a rushed resolution in 3 chapters after getting barely any focus.

Night Whispers - B - Dovepaw and Ivypaw’s relationship is breaking my heart in this one.

Sign of the Moon - F - It started off ok but then it became very quickly apparent that there is no reason for this book to exist apart from padding out the arc to six books.

Crookedstar’s Promise - S - This book hurts my heart.

The Forgotten Warrior - E - In this one I can just feel the writers struggling under the weight of everything they set up but neglected to plan how they would follow through.

The Last Hope - B - I found about 77% of this book to be C tier but the battle at the end is good, iconic, and emotional so I bumped the whole book up to a B.

The Rescue - B - That old lady seemed really nice, I hope she found a cat which loved her and stayed with her.

Beyond the Code - B - I hope Sol’s siblings ended up having good lives, did Cinders scout the homes for her children beforehand or did she just randomly choose houses I wonder.

After the Flood - B - Glad Shrewtooth got some time in the spotlight like that before he disappeared, I wonder what happened to him, I miss him.

Yellowfang’s Secret - E - This book is just messy; lots of obvious errors, bad pacing, and Yellowfang herself is just so bland, she’s nothing like the cat she is in the first arc.

Hollyleaf’s Story - C - Nice insight into Hollyleaf’s time in the tunnels, I don’t have much else to say about it.

Mistystar’s Omen - C - Probably worth a read again if you’re invested in ASC, you get more out of it.

Cloudstar’s Journey - A - Why no one talks about this book is beyond me, do yourself a favour and check it out if you haven’t.

Tallstar’s Revenge - S+ - Words cannot describe how I feel for this book but maybe the fact I added an S+ category just for it can.

Ultimate Guide (2013 Edition) - B - Nice guide with a few mistakes, B tier rather than C for the art, RIP Wayne.

The Sun Trail - S - Overall I really liked this one particularly the stuff at the beginning up to Gray Wing finding Jagged Peak.

Thunder Rising - A - I’m sorry for the gross treatment you were given Bumble, you deserved so much better.

The First Battle - S+ - What a heart-wrenching tragedy the second half of the book is, perfectly crafted to just continue inflicting emotional pain on the reader.

The Blazing Star - C - You died too soon One Eye.

A Forest Divided - B - Surprised I enjoyed this one as much as I did, not looking forward for Slash next book, such a nothing villain.

Path of Stars - B - Was considering giving this a C until the second half picked up and the ending left me an emotional mess, Slash still sucks as a villain though.

Moth Flight’s Vision - C - This book was so close yet so far to saying purposefully something meaningful about trauma.

Onestar’s Confession - F - Imagine building up a character for an entire book as an awful person then just having them be forgiven by everyone at the end.

River - A - I’m really glad to see warrior cats doing some good old murder mystery again.

Sky - B - Wake up bestie new character with anxiety just dropped.

Shadow - A - Nightheart gets smacked in the face with a frog, if that’s not enough reason for you to check this book out I don’t know what to say.

A Thief in ThunderClan - A- After all these years of wanting a Brightheart book it finally came and I definitely wasn’t disappointed.

Riverstar’s Home - A - We got a really nice close platonic friendship between a male and female character in this, to make up for it the Erins gave us the most fridged character in warrior cats history.

Thunder - A - It only took 20 years but the warrior cats discovered therapy.

Wind - A - Oh Splashtail, Tigerstar would have given his tail for a son like you.

Ultimate Guide 2023 Edition - C - I liked the new stories, points off for the horrendous colour errors though.

[sincerelyveronica]

The Hacienda-Review

My anticipation for this book was low-key at first. I was a sucker for the cover though. I knew I would get to it eventually. But, it kept popping up on my Goodreads feed. It almost felt subliminal. Looked it up on Libby and sure enough, the book was there. Seriously, I'm glad my library had copies of it. I was instantly swept off my feet! I forgot about my other books and just fell into world that is Hacienda San Isidro. I'm still reveling in the aftermath. A book hangover, if you will.

Plot:

In the overthrow of the Mexican government, Beatriz’s father is executed and her home destroyed. When handsome Don Rodolfo Solórzano proposes, Beatriz ignores the rumors surrounding his first wife’s sudden demise, choosing instead to seize the security his estate in the countryside provides. She will have her own home again, no matter the cost.

But Hacienda San Isidro is not the sanctuary she imagined.

When Rodolfo returns to work in the capital, visions and voices invade Beatriz’s sleep. The weight of invisible eyes follows her every move. Rodolfo’s sister, Juana, scoffs at Beatriz’s fears—but why does she refuse to enter the house at night? Why does the cook burn copal incense at the edge of the kitchen and mark its doorway with strange symbols? What really happened to the first Doña Solórzano?

Beatriz only knows two things for certain: Something is wrong with the hacienda. And no one there will help her.

Desperate for help, she clings to the young priest, Padre Andrés, as an ally. No ordinary priest, Andrés will have to rely on his skills as a witch to fight off the malevolent presence haunting the hacienda and protect the woman for whom he feels a powerful, forbidden attraction. But even he might not be enough to battle the darkness.

Far from a refuge, San Isidro may be Beatriz’s doom.

4/5 STARS

Let me start off with saying that The Hacienda had my WHOLE attention from the very beginning. I can say with much certainty that it's been a long time since an audiobook pulled me into its clutches that quickly. I'm usually apprehensive with most audiobooks because I don't know how the narrators will be. Most of the time, it takes a couple of chapters for me to get use to narrator's voice and then connect with the story. But not this book, these narrators held my attention from start to finish.

From the VERY start, it enveloped me an unforgettable way. The first chapter starts from the end of the book and works backwards. I absolutely loved that beginning. Not only was I intrigued with the direction but I was instantly curious about these characters. We are first introduce to Andres and know nothing about him or his purpose in the book. It flashbacks to Beatriz before arriving to Sin Isidro and introducing us to her. I actually liked having different perspectives in books. I enjoyed going between Beatriz and Andres' thoughts and experiences.

The relationship and dynamic built between Beatriz and Andres was probably my favorite thing about this whole book. Their forbidden love that grows so delicately and lovely throughout the book. I don't want to say anymore. But, I will forever ship those two! PARA SIEMPRE!

This story takes place during a few timelines: after the Spanish Inquisition, a little before the overthrow of the Mexican government and present day 1800s. You could tell the author really did her researching during that time period. Discussing the Casta system and the constant question of linage and skin color. Casting a light on how the Spanish used their systems to maintain their power and superiority over other racial groups. Their total lack and blatant disregard for mestizos and indigenous life. It's not for the faint-hearted. There was also heavy themes of Catholicism and how it ruled during that time.

The Hacienda also gets very atmospheric. Each chapter brings on that eeriness of being watched. Being hunted and teased by the evil that resides in the house. It almost feels like you stepped into the house and are experiencing it yourself. That's what happened to me. Like the hands of the Hacienda pulled me into its darkness. That my book buddies, is a sign of good writing. I know I could keep writing about it but I have to stop...

In all honesty, I wasn't sure what to expect from this story but this is exactly what I wanted out of a gothic story. I mean, a creepy and eerie haunted house story set in Mexico with intriguing, complex and layered characters? What more can you ask for? But my biggest reason and connection to the story was the culture and heritage. I come from a Guatemalan family. Much of my bloodline is indigenous and Spanish. I was able to understand these topics so well because I heard my own families' stories. I knew the hardships and I know how bad indigenous communities still have it in Guatemala, Mexico and other Central & South American countries. Unfortunately, the fight is far from over. I hope it will end one day. I applaud and appreciate the author for her research and shining lights on topics that still need to be discuss. That need to be changed.

The Hacienda is definitely worth a read. I highly recommend and I can't wait to put it in my collection!

XOXO

Sincerely,

Veronica

[introverted-author]

A Teacher of Many Subjects

Emily Prentiss/Ashley Seaver smut || Cross-posted on AO3

Word Count: 1.9k

Emily Prentiss misses JJ. But another certain blonde has caught her eye and she'll be damned if she lets the opportunity pass her by... set after 6x01.

It starts, as most things do, with a bar and a cocky Derek Morgan.

After a tough case in a closed off community that ends in the unsub choosing suicide by cop, all of us need a drink. Well, more drinks, plural. It always goes this way when we get off the jet in the evening - all of us, bar Hotch, Reid and occasionally Rossi, hitting our favourite bar.

"Drinks?" Morgan is the first to put it out there as we finish up in the bullpen.

"Is that even a question?" Rossi groans, eyes clearly heavy.

"Reid?" Morgan asks, turning to the nerd who has already got his face buried in another book.

"No can do, I'm afraid. I'm reading this book by Dr Anne Carson about-"

"Hey! A simple 'no thank you, oh fine Derek Morgan' will suffice."

"Since when are you fine?" I jump in, playfully shoving his shoulder and totally taking it when he shoves back.

"Really, Prentiss? We all know you want a piece of this di-"

Hotch just so happens to enter the room then on his way to the elevator and he quickly orders us to save it for the bar, mortification written all over his face. I snicker with the others as we watch him go.

"So, we're going to a bar?" Seaver asks from beside me with a tilted head and oh I forgot that she's new here.

"Standard protocol, my sweet lady," Morgan pipes up, sauntering over to her and swinging an arm around her shoulder which she oh-so-politely brushes off.

"You're asking the wrong girl, Morgan."

"Oh, you batting for the ladies team?" He smiles as she hesitantly nods. "Prentiss could tell you a little about that."

"Knock it off, Derek," I shake my head, following Rossi who has already begun the journey to the elevator.

As Morgan guffaws behind me, I try to brush off his comment and pretend the heat that's coiling in my stomach isn't there. JJ and I called off our we're-calling-it-casual-but-we-both-know-it's-really-not relationship only about a month ago. My body is telling me that I want to utterly destroy the innocent blonde next to me but I feel like I'd be betraying JJ…

Heck should I care? We were using each other for pleasure, it was nothing more… nothing more, I try to convince myself.

Fuck. Tonight I'm going to get completely wasted and maybe I'll fuck this girl's brains out while I'm at it.

The bar is bustling with people and we end up squished in a corner table. Morgan's off searching for his nightly hook-up, Garcia keeping a watchful eye on him, while Rossi plays darts with some other regulars. That leaves me and Seaver sitting next to each other in the dark corner of the room.

"Do you guys do this often?" Seaver enquires, taking a sip of wine while golden locks delicately fall around her face. Fuck.

"Uh, yeah. If we get back in the evening and feel up to it. Reid and Hotch never come, and Rossi only does on occasion."

"A good distraction, huh?" I can see in her eyes that she's still replaying the events that transpired last night. Her insolence, being threatened, witnessing the unsub's death…

"You look like you could use a distraction," I murmur, inching slightly closer as her breath hitches.

"What kind of distractions would you be offering?" Her baby-blue eyes - so like JJ's - meet mine with a teasing glint, her bottom lip being pulled by her teeth.

"A very certain kind."

With that, Seaver takes my hands and tugs me out of my seat, pulling me towards the dance floor as my stomach plummets. Damn, I didn't think this girl had it in her to be so straightforward.

As the music pulses, shaking the walls, I turn her around and pull her against me, hearing her surprised gasp before she leans back into my body.

I snake my hand down to take hers, moving to the beat as I move our joined hands across her stomach, covered by her blouse. When I bring our hands to her waistline, she lets out a whimper so I use my other hand to brush some of her hair aside, gently biting behind her ear as she all but moans.

I know I've got her. She's putty in my hands.

"Do you want me?" I whisper into her ear, sending her shuddering against me.

"I… I've never done this before."

"Done what?"

"Had sex… like, at all."

I smile at this, turning her around so she's facing me. Her eyes bore into mine and they are so dark with lust.

"Do you trust me?" I ask, taking her hands. She nods. "Well, I've heard that I'm an excellent teacher."

"Emily… please…"

I smirk. I've barely touched her and she's already begging. "Please what, angel?"

"Take me to yours. Teach me."

I am more than happy to oblige.

As soon as we're through the door of my apartment, Seaver is pushed against it, my thigh slotted between hers as I kiss her.

Seaver moans into my mouth, already worked up from the bar, and begins to grind against me, already desperate for some friction.

"Nuh-uh, angel," I chide, taking my leg away. "I can offer you far better things than coming on my thigh."

My words have a physical effect on the girl who's knees nearly buckle and I have to fight off a chuckle at her eagerness. I kiss her again, teasing her bottom lip before ordering, "Jump."

I catch her in the air, her legs automatically locking around my waist as I take us to my bedroom, laying her down on the sheets as she looks up at me in an euphoric haze.

"You okay there, angel?"

She stares at me for a moment and when I repeat the question she nods.

"I need verbal consent, Ashley."

"Please, Emily. Please."

I cluck my tongue, cocking my head as I examine the beautiful woman spread on my bedsheets. 

It should be JJ.

But it can't be JJ. So it will have to be Ashley Seaver.

"Do you know the traffic light system?"

She shakes her head.

"It works just like traffic lights. Green means that I keep going, yellow means to slow down and discuss things, red is a full-on stop. We can stop anytime you want, I won't be mad."

"Green, keep going, yellow, slow down, red, stop. Got it." There's a gleam of excitement in her eyes and I can practically hear her racing heart beat from the adrenaline. I should put this girl out of her misery but God is it wonderful to see her squirm like this.

"Tell me your colour, angel?" I husk into her ear, sending goosebumps down her spine.

"So, so green."

Seaver's eyes are wide as I join my lips to hers, her hands finding a home in my hair as I swipe my tongue along her bottom lip before forcing my way inside. Seaver is already breathless, already desperate, and I would be lying if I said her naivety didn't turn me on.

I move my lips along her soft jawline, sucking here and there before kissing the crook of her neck, finding her pulse line and sucking hard. Seaver groans at that, little noises of delight emitting from the blonde. She only moans louder when I bite down, smoothing the marks over with my tongue.

My hands begin to wander at that point, running over clothed breasts, sneaking to the edge of her blouse.

"Can I take this off?" I ask, running a hand along the bottom seam of the button-up.

"Of course."

I hear her gasp as I slip a hand underneath, the desire in her eyes growing with each button I undo. When the article is completely gone I ask her colour. Green.

Seaver practically shivers when I run my tongue over her right collarbone, moans when I trail my lips down to where her lace bra cups her breasts. This girl is so fucking touch-starved; this is going to be so much fun.

I reach under her back to find her bra strap, unhooking it when Seaver nods her consent. The girl gasps when the cool air meets her skin, nipples quickly hardening to perfect pebbles.

I quickly pinch her left nipple, grinning as she whines, thighs clamping together. 

The sadist in me is quick to seperate them, shoving a knee in between. "I'm taking care of you, Ashley. Let me do that."

"Fuck," she hisses, moaning as I move to take the nipple I've been rolling between my fingers into my mouth.

The girl whimpers and whines, getting more and more desperate until she's pleading under her breath. Her hands stray to my hands, desperately trying to force me southwards. In a flash I have her hands trapped above her head.

"Careful Seaver or I'll leave you here."

Her responding groan is enough to spur me back into motion. Deciding to take mercy on her, I leave a trail of kisses down from her breasts, gliding across her stomach and gently biting her sternum.

My fingers hook on her waistband and I check her colour - green. Seaver watches me with wide, pleading eyes as I drag her jeans and panties down and off her body.

"Colour?"

"Fuck, green, just, just-" She can't even finish her sentence, her entire body fidgeting from how damn worked up she is.

As I behold her naked body I can't help but picture JJ in my mind, praying to whatever god would bother to listen, begging for them to return her to me. But gods are fickle and fate is cruel, so Ashley Seaver it will have to be.

Seaver is tense as I kiss up her thighs, moaning loudly when I work a love bite into her skin, just below where she needs me most. But nothing can compare to the moment that I finally lick up her slit, her moans euphoric. She's practically shaking already as I slide up to take her clit in my mouth, sucking and licking and doing anything in my power to drive her insane.

She cries out as I shoot a finger into her - a quick check tells me she's still green - and she emits a breathless moan when I add another, pumping in and out at a generous pace.

The girl comes in seconds, crying out through her high as I ride her through before gently slowing and pulling out.

"You okay, Ashley?" I ask softly, sweeping her hair out of her eyes as I lie down next to her.

"Yeah, I'm… I'm good. That was- you were good."

"Not bad for a first time, huh?"

Seaver blushes at that, unable to meet my eyes. A distant part of me still wishes it was JJ. That I would whisper with her until the early hours of the morning until we both fall asleep. That we would curl up together, lovers who yearn to admit that they are indeed that.

But JJ is gone. And Ashley Seaver is here.

After water and a quick snack, Seaver is fast asleep in my bed and I take a breath to steel myself before climbing under the covers with her. She unconsciously drapes an arm over my body and I know I'm trying to move on but there are whispers of JJ in everything that this girl does.

When Hotch says that Seaver needs a mentor, I jump at the opportunity. A chance to move on from and forget JJ. And after all, I have a lot more to teach her.

[medea10]

So This is 2023 and What Have I Watched (& Played)

Hello Internet, it’s Medea once again doing her usual schtick. 2023 was definitely a…year! Yeah, I don’t see 2023 as anything worth while as 2024 is the year that’s going to cause a lot of havoc in my book. I’m hitting another old bitch milestone and I’m not digging it if you get my drift. But in terms of anime, there was no shortage of exciting moments. We’ve been introduced to new gems like Frieren, Skip & Loafer, and Oshi no Ko. Saw the satisfying conclusions to Attack on Titan. Surprise returns like Rurouni Kenshin! And of course, the best thing to happen in anime. Tracey Sketchit spoke for the first time in 16 ½ years.

YES, THAT’S VERY IMPORTANT TO ME!

Okay, let’s talk about the other crap that wasn’t as important as Tracey Sketchit. Per usual, I will give special acknowledgement for certain anime and games with these special categories. And I don’t discriminate in the year these animes and games were released, just as long as I watched or played it this year. So, if something was released in 2021, it totally counts here. Let’s hit it!

First Fandom of 2023: Oshi no Ko

Yeah, I’ve given this a lot of thought. I realize that this anime didn’t release until April 2023. Nothing against the animes I watched in the winter months, but the second I watched Oshi no Ko, I literally forgot what I watched in an instant. I think there was a Tokyo Revengers sequel and an anime about a tomboy girl. Like most of the internet, I was hooked because of the 82-minute premier. I was so enamored that I wanted to recommend this anime even though just one episode had just aired. It even got me to start reading manga again to see what happens next. I’m just glad Kinokuniya had several volumes. Oshi no Ko shows us the dark side to the entertainment industry in Japan. If you’re an idol and get married and have babies, it’s all over for your career. If you’re a child actor, things might not go well for you once you grow up. Social media can kill! This series seems to open up the conversation of how fans hold their favorite personalities to different standards and it can get all kinds of toxic from that.

Favorite Main Character of 2023: Liko from Pokemon Horizons

Look at that, a Pokemon main character I really like. Yeah, I’ve more often than not have given my blah feelings for Ash Ketchum and Red throughout the years. Despite my thoughts on those two, I was very conflicted when it came to Pokemon ending Ash and Pikachu’s adventure. But when they introduced Liko and Roy in that same breath, it gave me a little bit of optimism for the franchise. How often do we ever get an actual female lead in Pokemon? But does she live up to the hype? That’s for you to decide. My opinion is always janky at best. Liko was barely a day in a new school with her first pokemon before her world is turned upside-down with a shady group after her, a mysterious pokemon appearing to her inside of her pendant, and joining an explorer group where Crispin Freeman plays the leader. Liko, seems to handle herself really well considering all that just went down. Every week, I feel as though she’s improving, gaining more confidence, and ready to take on this lore that we’re learning more and more as the story progresses.

Favorite Villain of 2023: Kanoko, Kaya, and Shinichi Saimori from My Happy Marriage

I’ve made myself perfectly clear that when it comes to this category, I may hate the particular villain but will put them on this category if they’re truly evil enough. These three family members are that special category of rotten. Imagine you’re the main character and you have your father, step-mother, and step-sister treating you like a slave. That’s just layer one to the Saimori family. Miyo Saimori has lived this hell for nearly her whole life due to the fact that she doesn’t have supernatural powers like the rest of the family. Her actual father shunned her because of that fact. Her step-mother, Kanoko destroyed everything that belonged to Miyo’s birth mother and that brought Miyo comfort. And Kaya made it her mission to just destroy any shred of happiness Miyo comes across.

Now, you would think leaving the Saimori property at the end of episode 1 and getting engaged to someone would have ended the Saimori hell. No, it didn’t. Papa Saimori is still doing some shady dealings behind the scenes. And when Kanoko and Kaya learned that Miyo was happy living with Lord Kudou, they took it upon themselves to kidnap Miyo off the street, hold her captive in a shack, and beat her until she gives up her happiness with Kiyoka. I know at this point it felt like it was adding more fuel to the shock-value fire and in many ways, it was overkill. I’ll admit, it was. And I still hate these people. I know I should hate Eren Yeager more or Tetta Kisaki or even that guy who harmed Ai Hoshino. But this is my 2023 choice and I can’t see anyone else top…

YOU! Okay, hold my wig! Imma smack this bitch down!

Favorite Video Game Character of 2023: Bowser

From what? Nearly anything this year. And any other year for that matter! Every now and then, I will enjoy the shenanigans from that giant green lizard. Take your pick. Super Mario Wonder and RPG came out this year giving us some fun moments. Particularly with RPG where he kisses Mario, has nearly the best expressions of the game, and just proves to be the best bad-ass. Hell, even replaying some of my older titles from SNES and some Switch titles like Golf and Mario Party, he’s still the life of the party. And let’s not forget his big screen debut where Jack Black does the role justice. I knew he was going to be the best part of that film. Was I right? Fuck to the yeah, I was.

Jack Black is that awesome!

Favorite Game of 2023: …

I’ve had an interesting year when it comes to playing games. Earlier this year, I hit the nostalgia button by going backwards in game consoles. For several months, I found myself playing the following Pokemon games; Emerald, Platinum, HeartGold, and Black. Don’t judge, every now and then I will want this nostalgia where I play old Pokemon games while blasting some jazz music that used to play on the Weather Channel. Don’t we all? I know what you must be thinking.

But Medea, why those games? The window for getting event pokemon has closed eons ago. And unless you’re a genius with tools, you can’t change the clock battery on those GBA games.

Yeah, I know and don’t care. Emerald has the best pokemon and OST. Platinum and Black were guilty pleasures. And HeartGold, nay EVERY gen 2 game is my favorite!

It wasn’t until the middle of the year where I ventured onto a franchise I never played before and had fun with two of their games. One of them was released this year and the other was released in 2021. My favorite is the latter.

Story of Seasons – Pioneers of Olive Town

Yes, I love A Wonderful Life. I just happened to really like the other one just a smidge better. I think it’s because I feel like I have more time in Olive Town than Forgotten Valley. AWL has only 10 days a month while POOT has 28. Imagine what I learned after 40 days and you’re in the new year. That’s a death I’m still not over. I think it’s also because of some of the game mechanics and things you can do and get that kinda won me over. There’s a little more freedom when it comes to planting and animal care in Olive Town that I think I’ve come to appreciate a little more.

So…yeah. That’s my one not 2023 mention in this entry.

Final note for this entry: Iori is best boy of POOT and Nami is best everything in AWL.

Favorite Het Couple of 2023: Sylphiette x Rudeus Greyrat from Mushoku Tensei

Spoiler warning for this entry. Skip ahead if you’re not currently caught up with Mushoku Tensei. This is your only warning.

Never mind the spoilers of Rudeus’s love life and all of the drama that went down last season between him and Eris. This here was my OTP. I was a supporter of this from the get-go and in a preliminary move, called Eris a bitchy she-beast that Rudeus would never have interest in. Ha! Silly 2021 Medea and her silly thoughts. Well, time makes fools of us all and we wound up watching Rudeus get ditched. After that, he makes a detour at Lake Flaccid. A wonderful limbo where all you can do is play with two deflated blue balls. I am making absolutely no sense here, am I?

During the limp dick arc, Rudeus enters a magic academy where he meets a certain student that ended up reigniting that fire in his pants he sorely needed. Confusingly, though. Yeah, Rudy-boy thought for a second that he fell for another boy. But what Rudeus doesn’t know is that this is a girl and not just any girl, IT’S SYLPH! I and I’m pretty sure a multitude of fans were screaming at the top of their lungs every time these two were together during an episode. Yes, I just love seeing these two together after so many years away from each other. But Rudeus doesn’t know that’s her and Sylph is staying quiet. Eventually, these two officially reunite and Sylph even goes the extra mile to cure Rudeus’s erectile dysfunction. And after a night of passion and dick-curing, they’re engaged. I don’t care how disgustingly fucked it was to get to this point, a win is a win.

Favorite Yuri Couple of 2023: Hime Shiraki x Mitsuki Yano from Yuri is my Job!

It’s in the title. Was it my favorite ship of the year? Far from it. It’s just that this was the only Yuri couple I saw this year and, well, if the category fits. Plus, I’m not supporting the other ship that came from this title. Mitsuki and Yano were good friends years ago. But there was a falling out from them due to a misunderstanding. Now they’re in high school and they end up meeting each other again under strange circumstances. They are both employed at a café that’s heavy into acting like a Yuri-based, high school manga. Seriously, this is literally lesbian Ouran here. I’m glad these two are becoming friends again. Will it evolve into something more? Mitsuki’s blushing is a good indicator.

Favorite Yaoi Couple of 2023: Shuumei Sasaki x Yoshikazu Miyano from Sasaki to Miyano

Hey, two years in a row! Yeah, Sasaki to Miyano returned again this year with a movie. And just like last time, I was filled with the bubblies watching them again. Everyone was excited for the return of this wholesome couple, especially Crunchyroll and Kinokuniya. Probably to market the anime and manga, I guess! I have to give this story a lot of credit here as there’s talk of others accepting Sasaki and Miyano’s relationship for what it is including their friends, classmates, and even family members. Let’s not forget that while there are anime out there with gay couples, Japan (the country these stories come out of) are not too liberal about that. While not as extreme as places like Russia or Saudi Arabia, they’re also not cool with it like the U.S.

Fandom That You Didn’t Expect to Get Into: Pokemon Horizons

Yes, like everyone else who was attached to the original Pokemon anime, I was skeptical about this direction we were taking. The story of Ash and Pikachu was being retired and all of the characters and their pokemon we’ve all grown to love over the past 25 years were no longer going to be featured week to week. At least I got to see my baby Tracey one more time.

Moving onto Horizons, it was a nice change of pace to see new characters, a different kind of adventure that doesn’t revolve around winning gym badges, following not just Liko and Roy but older characters like Mollie and Friede, new villains not affiliated with Team Rocket, and a female heroine. Yes, I know Roy is there but…come on, she’s the first person we meet. We meet like six other main characters before Roy! There is so much mystery and intrigue when it comes to nearly every character on this show that I really wish Ash and his companions got more fleshed out during their time. Well, that’s why we have fanfics.

Fandom That Made An Unexpected Comeback: Rurouni Kenshin

Oro?

Did I expect a return of this 1990s classic? No, but I will happily take it. ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM ASIDE! Yes, I’m not going to sit here and deny what the creator of Rurouni Kenshin did. I really thought he deserved a harsher punishment than what he got, but that’s life unfortunately. And don’t cast stones that I’m watching something made by a convicted cum-bucket. Most of you will still sit there and watch the old episodes of Rick and Morty or Ren and Stimpy and those creators did horrendous things too. You ain’t squeaky clean!

Moving on! When executed correctly, a reboot can capture the audience of old and new fans. First of all, the animation is stupendous. They’re done by the same studio that did Tokyo Revengers and Cells at Work: Code Black. The music is wonderful, especially the opening and ending themes. And best of all, they’re sticking to the manga adaptation compared to the original series. No disrespect to the original, but you all have to admit that after the Kyoto arc, it all went straight to Hell. Especially after Studio Deen took over! As of this date, I’m hoping for a second season, for people to not cast judgement on the people who work on this (creator excluded), and that the series continues to go in this positive direction.

Fandom That Inspired the Most Crack: The 100 Girlfriends Who Really, Really, Really, Really, Really Love You

Every week watching this anime, I am mouth-on-the-floor. Is this another one of those borderline-hentai series that I’ve been throwing on this list every other year. No, it’s a harem. But not just any other harem anime. In the same year as Rent-A-Girlfriend’s 3rd season and in the same fucking anime season as the second season to Girlfriend, Girlfriend, we get an anime of a boy who is pre-destined to have 100 girlfriends. No fucking shit, 100 girlfriends! Rentaro has blown both Kazuya and Naoya out of the water and onto some jagged rocks.

Obviously, we’re not going to get the full 100 girlfriends any time soon. Hell, the season will probably end at 13 episodes with the same number we’re at as I’m writing this (which is 5). Still more than Naoya and Kazuya. Rentaro’s girlfriends consist of a curvaceous pink-haired girl with vivid sexual fantasies, a blonde tsundere with a flat-chest, a petite girl who communicates through a book on her phone, a girl we’re pretty sure she’s not a robot despite her name being Nano Eiai, and a confusing cluster-fuck that loves drugs and can change from a loli to a Tits-Mcgee in seconds. And all 5 end up doing more than just kissing and holding hands. ARE WE REALLY SURE THIS ISN’T A HENTAI?!

There’s also a vice principal that French kisses any student that runs down the halls and is voiced by Orochimaru.

ARE WE REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY SURE THIS ISN’T A HENTAI?!

Last Fandom of 2023: Tokyo Revengers – Tenjiku Arc

I know I started Tokyo Revengers at the beginning of the year. But I kept going back and forth with liking it and thinking it’s okay. Probably because of Hakkai’s family drama that did it. Or maybe the disappointment I felt when the Christmas Massacre felt like a fizzle once Mikey came in and ended Taiju’s career with one kick to the head. But then I was told to wait until this arc when shit does indeed go down.

Yeah, they’re right. I’ve been at the edge of my seat for a lot of this season. Yes, it is very clear that Takemichi is the underdog, the crybaby, the physically weakest member of the Tokyo Manji gang. His record shows that in nearly every fight up to this point. But he stands his ground against all odds and over 300 grunts Izana and Kisaki can throw at him. I’ve often referred to Takemichi as Homer Simpson in the episode “The Homer They Fall”. You can punch him, kick him, and even shoot him in the foot. He’s still standing. And it’s not easy when the top men of Toman are out of commission due to death in the family or got severely injured. It’s a shame every week I’m enjoying myself so much that as soon as I start hearing, “SAY MY NAME” I get pissed. And then I jam out because once again, the ED theme is a banger.

[xoxo-maeve-xoxo]

⚠️ WARNING !! : This shit is LONG, I don't know what happened and I'm so sorry.

୧ Hello ! I don't know you and you don't know me, but I saw that you were doing TOH match-ups and, after going through some of you work, I've decided to give it a shot ! ! :}

I'm omniromantic and (possibly) genderqueer, any pronouns but I'm more used to being referred to by she/her since I'm afab and closeted,,

Appearance-wise, I'm 172cm tall (which means I'm always the tallest of my friend groups, for some reason), have light olive skin, curly dark brown hair and eyes and . . . I wear glasses! (unfortunately) and if I take them off I basically can't see lol.

(Not joking, everything gets so blurry it's absurd).

Fashion sense is based a lot on silhouette and that twenties trend of looking girlish in a boyish manner. My iconic look is a horizontally black white striped cropped (the white lines are really thin and it's not really a cropped but I tie the back of the collar so it acts like one) and baggy dark grey military pants. Looks way nicer than it sounds ! And also my Saint Benedict necklace, mum gave me before I came back to my dad's house after recent holidays.

Personality-wise!, I’m, like, chronically tired and always have to take a deep breath out of sudden because I forgot how to breathe, haha! ^^” I feel this need to know everything about everything and to be smart and have a library installed in my brain, but I don't really have the motivation to do so . . .

I do know some trivia facts tho! If I remember it, I'll say them when it calls and I also think a lot about stuff, so I like to try to share my thoughts (which range from video essay material to philosophical discussions to sounding like I'm high) with my friends, if I feel like they're forcing a reaction I'll just stop talking and ask them about something I know they like talking about.

So in general I know quite a bit of stuff and my Dad told me that I'm very observant and have an interesting brain wiring (thought process) but I'm awful academically-wise and am almost failing four classes. Generally I’m too tired to things, so if I don't have a topic in my brain that I need to talk about I'll just let the other person start the conversation and make an effort to not make my answers seem forced.

My best friend told me that I'm sarcastic and mean and stuff but that I just pretend to be like that and that I'm actually a gigantic softie and I pretended to gasp offendedly in response. So I’m like the ‘comic relief’ of my friend group, I laugh at things that are not funny and I laugh out of nervousness and I just laugh a lot period. I'm really empathetic so I try to be patient with people, but if they're being stupid in my conception I'll make an ironic comment about it and then make sure they know I'm joking. I'm being sarcastic but if I realize the other person is uncomfortable I stop on spot— I also work a lot on people's patterns!! So like, if I see someone doesn't like something or reacts badly at something I'll never do that again.

My humor ranges from dad jokes to DHMIS humor and I'm (surprinsingly enough!!) the mom friend of my group even though I'm not the most responsible one. I (silently) look out for my loved ones while being awful at comforting others and call anyone and everyone by pet names just like a stereotypical elderly woman. I also hold grudges and have my Dad's temper, so that's something.

In terms of likes!!! I prefer animation to live action, but if the live action has pretty colors or figurines or stuff, I'm totally eating that shit up. Movies from the 90s-2000s too ! ! I loved period dramas and romances or slice-of-life books, but I'm also a big fan of horror and sci-fi. I can't watch a movie without shuttting up about composition, and figurine, and soundtrack, and dialogue, and— I had a filmography phase and it's still stuck in my brain wiring. I adore people who can produce good movies or shows and think they're integral to society.

I also like video essays on stuff I know and don't know about, drawing, reading a bit, writing, blasting music on my earphones and getting my whole family mad at me, watching the same shows and movies I've already watched 172836281627 times before since I'm scared of watching something knew and it being bad. I like collecting ! ! I have a space in jewelry music box (a gift from my stepmom’s mom) that is exclusively for my little trinkets and a pinecone in my wardrobe ! I still sleep with the same bunny plushie from when I was four, no one knows who gave me that bunny.

I would also like to be either an engineer or a fashion designer! But since I'm horrible at math, Dad is thinking about enrolling me in a fashion school when we move . . . 🤞🏼🤞🏼

Hmmm, I feel like I had more stuff to say but I can't remember now . . . Favorite artists are Mitski, Cosmo Sheldrake, Lana del Rey and Florence + The Machine ! ! By the way ! ! Thought you should know.

Also, I hate using abbreviations and most slang, could you tell. Also ny sleep schedule is so weird, I go to sleep 9pm and wake up 4-5am like what is up with that.

Okay, WOW, that was longer then I thought I’d be 💀 but that also means I have plenty of information

I had a hard time deciding between two characters, so I matched you with both of them, hope you don’t mind!

Amity Blight!

Despite her character development, I think that Amity would still be sarcastic and a bit mean (but not in a bullying way)

Also a softie!

She gets worried whenever you forget how to breath, and will probably ask if you’ve breathed yet 💀 she just does want you to faint on her, if you do she’ll have a panic attack 😭

I think she’d be very interested in how your thought process works, and how observant you are!

She also feels the need to know everything, and she’s a bit of a control freak as well (personal headcannon of mine)

I feel like Amity also likes collecting things, mostly cute trinkets or some jewelry

LOVES Mitski and will gladly listen to her with you, she also collects her music vinyls (or whatever they’re called idk 😭)

I hc that Amity sleeps with plushies as well, but mostly a little black cat plush that Ghost is strangely jealous of and has tried to assassinate it 💀

Amity doesn’t really care about live action stuff, but she’s probably watch them with you on movie nights if you really wanted too!

—————————————————————————

I also match you with….

Hunter Deamonne!

He is also chronically tired

Have you SEEN his eyebags?

He would LOVE to listen to you info dump about the amount of knowledge that’s stored in your brain

He just thinks you’re so cool, you know?

I feel like he LOVES live action movies, and also LOVES figurines

This guy LOVES sci fi too, he’s literally dressed up as a character from a sci fi show, cmon now!

He’s also scared of watching new things, which is why he sticks to cosmic frontiers, Amphibia, and Gravity falls, but he also watches a few other sci fi movies as well

I feel like he’s like horror, just nothing too gory!

This guys sleep schedule is fucked up too, he’ll go to bed at 12am and wake up at 6am

—————————————————————————

Sorry if this was too short :( but I hope you liked it!

[pocket-size-cthulhu]

Sometimes even i have a hard time remembering that my ADHD is more than just a silly goofy little thing about me and is an actual disability

So here's a thread of cute little jokes/excuses i make about ADHD and their dark side 🙃

(disclaimer: i am In Therapy!! And if you relate to this and you're not, i definitely recommend therapy!)

*

Lol sorry i'm acting sooooo crazy I'm just bouncing off the walls ✌️🤪

i am aware i am interrupting you. I am aware i am annoying you. I am aware I'm acting like a child. I wish i could stop and I'm worried about our relationship but i can't stop, and I'm excruciatingly embarrassed about it

*

Hang on can you repeat that? I am having the hardest time focusing. Bees in my brain haha 🐝

I am trying as hard as i possibly can to listen to you but no information can stick to my brain right now. The wheels are spinning but there's no traction. I want to pay attention but I'm not getting any of this and I'm embarrassed about it

*

Omg I'm so sorry i totally forgot to text you back!

I didn't forget. I thought about it multiple times every day that i didn't do it. I was overwhelmed by the prospect of making decisions. It's just a text and i feel so silly for fearing and procrastinating it. It's just easier to tell you i forgot than to explain how much i wanted to be a good friend and respond in a timely way, but couldn't. It's embarrassing.

*

Oh man that book sounds so interesting! Wish i was capable of reading books lol, too bad I'm an illiterate ADHD adult 😂

I don't have the attention span to do literally anything, even things i actually want to do. It's beyond frustrating and embarrassing. I used to read like crazy and now i can't even get through a long article online. Feels like my brain is atrophying and i hate it with a burning passion.

*

Oh gosh i totally forgot that thing was coming up

This time i did forget. I forget a lot of things. You wouldn't believe the late fees, the cancellation fees, the buying fresh produce over and over that never gets eaten, the rushing and running late and the stress of constantly forgetting things. As an adult you have to manage your own schedule and I'm next to incapable of doing that. I feel like a child and it's insanely embarrassing

*

Sorry I'm late!

Flip a coin. I'm either late because i forgot it was happening until the last second, or because i couldn't stop thinking about it for two hours and couldn't do anything else in that time so i started getting ready super early and figured "i have a ton of time, no need to rush" and didn't realize that time was passing until i realized i was late. Time blindness is ridiculous.

*

Why is it so unreasonably hard to keep a house clean? Seriously it's like it's got itself dirty the minute i finish cleaning 😒 you'd think it would have some manners amirite?

My understanding of cause and effect, and my ability to do repetitive tasks without the payoff of having "finished" them, are both extremely limited. I know when my house is messy, when i run out of clean laundry, when the garbage starts to stink, when i run out of clean dishes. It's not good for my mental state. But "staying on top of the house chores" is basically a pipe dream for me. Every time i open the cupboard to find it empty with no dishes in it, it fills me with shame and stress and paralysis.

*

ADHD is the most embarrassing thing you can possibly have. I get on Google like "help I'm scared of emails" and Google is like "oh you have 'brain of a literal six year old' disease. Have you tried using a planner" lmaooo

Like, all of this, but actually embarrassing. Thoroughly, endlessly embarrassing and shame-inducing.

*

Why am I so tired? Lol i literally don't even do anything.

Seriously why am I so tired? Why does my exhaustion keep me from doing things i like? Or from trying something new, even something as simple as a new movie or hanging out with a new friend? Why is life so much more exhausting and difficult for me to deal with than it seems to be for other people? How do people live like this? I'm barely staying afloat.

***

I'm so glad for my diagnosis so that i know that these things are products of my disability and not just moral failings.

I'm so glad I'm in therapy to help me reframe some of this and not be so shame-filled all the time.

I love joking about ADHD (how else are we supposed to cope?) but i think it's also important to highlight how it is actually a disability, even though it's embarrassing. As far as i know there aren't many standard accommodations for people with ADHD out there; you kinda have to self-advocate. But if it were more widely talked about and understood, maybe there would be standard accommodations so things could be easier for us. Medication is an amazing accommodation but it's by far not the only thing we need.

Anyway i hope this was validating to some of you. If every day is just swimming in a swamp of shame and burnout for you, you're not alone. Let's all get therapy, learn about our needs and get accommodations babes 💛

[westanallthegays]

Writing 101 with your favorite queer (EDITED)

Writing is h a r d .

If you think writing is easy, then I'm going to ask you if you've ever WRITTEN A STORY BEFORE because clearly, you're oblivious af.

Writing isn't just w r i t i n g a s t o r y, it's late nights trying to figure out how the fuck to write this moment, it's sleep deprivation to puzzle this character over, it's scribbling ideas down, it's questioning whether your writing is GOOD or not and whether anyone would actually want to read it, it's staring at your google doc or word doc and thinking, "Is this worth it? Maybe I should just quit ahead of time."

It's so many things, but it's not fucking EASY.

Which is why I'm writing this post for y'all. Let's be clear, I don't know everything about writing. I'm in progress, still trying to figure shit out, but I thought I might share what I've learned with you through a very, very painful process.

So ✨here we go✨

One of the things about writing is that everyone has different methods. Here's mine. Use it or not. It's up to you.

I know a lot of people who don't plan their writing out are gonna be screaming at me, but I've found out that having at least a basic plan, if not the simplest plan EVER formed by just a few bullet points really helps.

I'll give you an example (which is miraculous themed because I'm pretty sure everyone at least KNOWS what miraculous is)

Marinette goes to school

Alya gushes to her about this "cool new girl" that has arrived

Marinette reaches school and discovers the new girl is Lila Rossi

shenanigans ensue. Adrien is the only one who isn't clueless. Lie la is a bitch, as usual (what is new?)

Okay, this example was pretty crappy, but you get the idea. It doesn't even have to be an exact copy of what's gonna happen in your story, just the general idea and a few more plot points. Doing this when I'm bored, whether in my sketchbook or on a google doc, really helps. For one, I can just write down a bunch of shitty ideas and later go through them and decide which ones are the least crappy to put in my fanfic.

I'm a planning person, but I don't go super crazy when planning out a chapter. I've heard of some people creating the most intricate plans EVER for their story, and well, sorry, but that just DOESN'T work for me. This method is a lot more simpler, and it's not totally crazy.

(hopefully)

Also, if you're writing a story based on a tv show or book series(*cough percy jackson *cough) Then I find it INCREDIBLY helpful to write down a list of all of the minor characters i want to include in my story, because let's be real, I'm pretty sure I'd forget after like a day.

And I've read too many stories with only the main characters and there being like one mention of a minor character. (*cough GROVER *cough)

So spare your innocent readers (not really) and use this method.

Welp, that's it! I'm sorry this ran on for so long guys, I had a lot to say and wanted to elaborate on it enough so that it made sense. If you actually read through this shit pile of a post, then TYSM IT REALLY MEANS A LOT.

Stay safe, don't fall into a deep, dark hole of depression that you can't get out of, and I'll see ya later~

EDIT:

Hi guys! It's been a few months since I stepped into the world of tumblr and wrote this post. After that i kinda forgot about tumblr with the existential crisis that is school and basic stress, so ....sorry bout that.

Thank you to the two people who liked this post, it means a lot <3

As usual, your girl is here to give some more tips that i learned over those few months i was incognito.

2. Brain dump, second draft, third draft, fourth draft...

I dont know if yall have heard of the brain dump in writing. I recently found about it when despertely researching ways to improve my crappy writing. Basically, a brain dump is when you take all of your ideas and write them down on paper or a google doc or whatever you use. I thought it was a pretty good idea, but i kind of already told you guys this with my previous tip above.

SO I REMODELED IT YOU'RE WELCOME

MY version is that you do a brain dump but in the form of a really messy, chaotic first draft. Write whatever you want using the ideas you have, and you dont even have to put proper dialouge. I find that i obsesse way too much over dialogue, so with my brain dump, i just leave blank spaces where the dialogue should be and put that in the second draft, which is a much more organized version of the brain dump.

THAT WAY, you can have all of your ideas down and begin to edit them into a slightly better piece of artistic creativity. I haven't tried this out myself, so im not sure how reliable it is. if you want to try this out, drop a comment telling me how it went.

Im pretty sure that's it. There isn't much esle to say, and im sure yall are familar with the "first draft, second draft" concept thingie so i dont have to explain that bit.

Again, sorry about my long absence. I would promise to do this more often, but im pretty sure i wont be able to keep that promise, so . . .

anyways, have a great day and ill see you soon (hopefully!)

:)

[thevindicativevordan]

Thoughts on the ongoing Cates Hulk run

Since an issue came out this week (I totally forgot until someone reminded me) let's make this the weekly review post. Huge week for me:

Batman: One Bad Day - Riddler - Disappointing. Riddler is on god mode for most of the story and I couldn't suspend my disbelief. The big moment that took me completely out of the book was when an Arkham guard tries to shoot Riddler, misses at point blank range and hits another guard, and then all the other guards decide to shoot each other instead of Riddler. Way too stupid for me to take seriously, especially in a story that is demanding you take it seriously. I guess King using the Morrison interpretation of TKJ's ending here for how Batman deals with Riddler was cool at least. King hadn't found a Riddler origin he loved and he tried to write one to his taste here. I agree with him that most Riddler origins are lame, but this one is hardly better. His dad spanked him because he was an abusive asshole and that drove him to the point of brutally murdering his teacher (who put riddles in his tests) and becoming the Riddler because he couldn't handle his teacher reporting his cheating on a test to his father. Not a sympathetic enough story for me to feel bad for Eddie, nor petty enough to make me despise him, it's trying to be tragic and ends up being meh.

Nightwing #95 - Hey the pacing has finally improved and progression finally happens! Blockbuster learning Dick's identity is the first time this run has even gestured in the direction of actual stakes. Given how heavily this book guest stars the Titans, why not just give the next Titans relaunch to Taylor? His focus on fanservice and character moments would serve that team well.

Batman/Superman #6 - Enjoyable little epilogue that puts the focus on Dick as a detective.

Flash #785 - I fell off of this run after a while, had to cut back and while this was good it didn't feel essential so I dropped it. Picked it back up for Dark Crisis - good thing too because this is definitely essential to the overall plot - and I really enjoy how Adams juggles the Flash Family. Think I might keep reading if finances allow.

Batman: The Knight #8 - Bruce and Anton driving off into the sunset huh?

Black Adam #3 - Great book, after the first issue's weird dialogue for Malik, he's been fine since. I like him and I really hope he doesn't die, but all the signs make me believe he's a dead man walking. Of course Priest's version of a journey through hell is never what it seems. Hallucinations or fact? Not clear and given it's Priest they might not ever be.

DC vs. Vampires: All Out War #2 - Didn't Lex die? Guess we'll find out if that's a fakeout with regard to him being teased as Baron Cinder.

Aquaman & The Flash: Voidsong #3 - Give the next Aquaman relaunch to Kelly and Lanzig because this was by far the most enjoyable Aquaman story I've read since KSD's run ended. Really this book had a more interesting "event" type foe than boring old Pariah, I thought the concept of a Lovecraftian entity that eats motion/the Speed Force was inspired. Loved Vasco's art too, very Jorge Jimenez reminiscent. Wouldn't have thought a movie cash-in book starring two characters that barely interact usually could be this enjoyable, but even though the differences were played up to make the two better contrasts with each other this was an entertaining read all the same.

Dark Crisis: Young Justice #3 - Continues to suck. I'm only buying this trash because I feel like I'm obligated too on account of it might be affecting Conner's status quo. Minute I learn that's not the case this is getting dropped. If you're going to deconstruct an era at least have the decency to know the details of what it is you're deconstructing. Fitzmartin just gets basic continuity wrong, Cassie was the last leader of PAD YJ not Conner, Conner already knew and made peace with the Cassie/Tim kiss, etc. This is CW tier drama in line with her background as a CW writer and I don't enjoy it. Porter's Superboy mini and PKJ's Superfamily team up can't come soon enough.

X-Men #13 - It's an ok superhero book but that's it. If the Children of the Vault coming out doesn't spice things up I may drop it and stick to Immortal and Red.

A.X.E: Death to the Mutants #1 - I am very interested in where this is going. Could this end with the Celestial modifying how Eternal resurrections works?

Hulk #8 - Guess Hulk won the fight? Pretty underwhelming victory however. Cates run has been basic as expected, but I found myself warming up to it more over time. Knew we weren't getting a run with Ewing's brains but long as I got something entertaining enough I could keep reading Hulk. Thus far, while uninspired, I have been entertained. Let's see if that continues once we get Cates Planet Hulk rehash.

Strange #5 - God Clea rules. I love her, I think I love her more than Strange, which is a testament to MacKay's skill because I didn't know squat about Clea until this run. We all saw that reveal coming but it's a good one and changes the direction of the series. If at the end of this there's a proper Dr. Strange relaunch coming they better keep MacKay on it and have him write the Strange/Clea relationship because he's got me invested in it.

[readnburied]

What I Read in August

Target: 7

Read: 8

I can’t believe I’m writing this but I actually managed to actually complete my monthly goal. I understand my target was small so I managed to complete it but I still did it and I feel good writing about it. So without any further ado, here are the books I read for the month of August. 

Dare You by Jennifer Brown

This is book 2 in the Nikki Kill series and the story continues with the main character Nikki who is now being framed for the murder of Peyton Hollis—the richest and the most popular girl in town—who also happens to be her sister. Armed with nothing but her synesthesia and Detective Martinez, Nikki must find the truth about Peyton’s death.

I’ve been trying to fit this book in my TBR for the entire year and I finally got the chance to do so. I loved the first book and the second book did not disappoint in the least. I’m so glad I finally got to read it and since this book ended on a cliffhanger I’m eager to read the next book. And it goes without saying that I’m really looking forward to reading more books by this author. 

Obsession by Gemma Weir

This is book 1 in the Alphaholes series and revolves around the lives of Sebastian and Starling. Sebastian is an alpha male through and through and when he sets his eyes on Starling, he vows to make her his no matter what. When Starling finds out about his obsession for her, she tries to escape but little does she know that Sebastian will never let her go. 

So this book and the entire series is a dark romance and I loved every bit of it. Dark romance is my guilty pleasure and I literally devoured this book because of how much I loved it. I literally forgot the world while reading this book. As much as I want to recommend this book I want you all to be aware of the trigger warnings. The author has a note at the beginning of the book so if you’re comfortable, definitely give this series a chance. 

Unicornucopia by Caitlin Doyle

This is a standalone non-fiction about unicorn facts and craft. The book is divided into different sections talking about facts, mythology, spells, crafts and recipes related to unicorns.

I honestly have no idea why I read this book. I mainly read it to fulfill a prompt for my reading challenge but I don’t think it really fulfilled that prompt. So yeah, for me, it was basically a pointless read because I’m not exactly crazy about unicorns. But if you like unicorns and want to learn more about them, you can give this book a try. 

Catherine House by Elizabeth Thomas

This is a standalone book about a prestigious school that has more questions and secrets than answers. Anyone who is anyone, if gets admitted, has to leave behind everything they’ve ever known in exchange for the best educational experience in the world. And our main character Ines just happens to be one of the lucky ones to get accepted at Catherine House. But soon she discovers that the school is hiding more than she bargained for and if she doesn’t manage to get out, she’ll be trapped there forever. 

For me, this is an interesting take on dark academia and I really enjoyed it. However, it didn’t blow my mind but I still had a good time reading it. I loved the creepy chants and ceremonies that took place and the conclusion and climax was downright sinister. If you’re someone who enjoys schools with secrets and dangerous experiments, then be sure to give this book a chance. 

Even If It Hurts by Sam Mariano

This is book 1 in the Coastal Elites series and follows our main characters Aubrey and Dare who despite being total opposites can’t help but be drawn to each other in the form of a dark, twisted, horror romance. Aubrey comes across Dare—the most popular and richest guy in school—at a party when she ends up drowning and mistakes Dare for an angel as he saves her. Dare, on the other hand, starts taking an interest in Aubrey due to an ulterior motive but soon falls for her. And when he decides to keep Aubrey forever, nothing she or anyone can do to take her away from him. 

Another dark romance. Another book that blew my mind. I loved every second of this book and was surprised when I managed to finish it so quickly. Towards the middle of the book I wanted the book to get darker and the author did not disappoint. She gave me enough darkness to satiate my appetite. Once again, the author has placed trigger warnings and if you’re comfortable then give this book a chance. You’ll enjoy it. 

Unspoken by Sarah Rees Brennan 

This is book 1 in The Lynburn Legacy series and revolves around the life of Kami who has a voice speaking to her throughout her life inside her head. She considers the voice be her imaginary friend but people think she’s crazy. Until one day when the infamous Lynburns move back to the town of Sorry-In-The-Vale and Kami realizes that one of the Lynburn boys is not a stranger to her at all. 

I don’t understand what this book was. It’s labeled as a YA but it read like a middle-grade. I had a hard time taking the characters seriously because I couldn’t imagine them being older than twelve or thirteen. The entire atmosphere of the book was incredibly cartoonish and I was really bored even though this book had some of my favorite elements like magic and witchcraft. But I didn’t enjoy this book and was really bored. If you want to give it a read you can, but I personally don’t recommend it. 

Ruined by Paula Morris 

This is book 1 in the series of the same name and follows Rebecca who is forced to leave her life in New York and go to live with her aunt in New Orleans. Rebecca’s new residence is a creepy, old house but she soon realizes the town is just as creepy with its strange rules and ceremonies, Rebecca soon finds out that she’s a part of something much bigger. Something much more horrific. Something that could potentially kill her. 

I have been putting off reading this book/series because I knew I would love it so much and I wanted to prolong that experience for as long as possible. And this book did not disappoint. I love ghosts and witchcraft and everything dark and supernatural and this book delivered on all accounts. This book was published ages ago so it’s likely that a lot of you have read it, but in case you haven’t, I highly urge you to buy this book and read it as soon as possible. You definitely need the experience of this book. 

Obligation by Gemma Weir 

This is book 2 in the Alphahole series and follows our two main characters Clay and January who are forced into an arranged marriage and Clay vows to hate January for the rest of their lives. Clay thinks January is not as innocent as she appears but he soon realizes that she’s not as vile as her family and then he decides to do everything in his power to keep her with him. 

Since I loved the first book so much I couldn’t stop myself from reading the second, but I read this book off the record and enjoyed it as much as the first one. Clay is my favorite from the entire group of Alphaholes and I love the relationship dynamics between him and January. Just like the first book, the book contains trigger warnings so if you’re comfortable, then do give this book a chance. 

So these are all the books I read in the month of August. Let me know if you’ve read any of the books mentioned above and what you thought of them. I have a big goal next month so let’s see if I’m able to reach it.