#i used to give myself shit for not doing enough and you know i still think i could do more but thats a different conversation

[buckleysbitch]

summary ~ sub!abby x dom!reader timeee! thank you to @ghgygd for the request 🤍

warnings ~ filthy as absolute fuck, strapping (abby receiving) maybeeeee dacryphilia if you squint hard

authors note ~ i need to go rub SEVERAL out after writing this good god….anyways reqs are open angels!!

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

*ping!*

angel 🪽 ~ alright pretty girl, when i get home i need you naked, on your knees by the bed.

angel 🪽 ~ oh, and pull out the strap, vibrator, and lube.

angel 🪽 ~ be home in 20, love you abs 🤍

abby's muscular thighs shook with excitement. you'd been out for what had felt like an agonizingly long time, like you had gone off to war and wouldn't be back for years. in reality, you'd been gone for a couple hours to take a work meeting in the next city over, but to your preciously down bad girlfriend, it felt like eons.

obeying your instruction, her inner thighs already sticky and damp with desire, she heads up to your shared room. the blonde girl plucks the toy and it's companions from your bedside drawer, placing them neatly in a line on your comforter.

checking her phone and flipping it onto the bed, abby notices she has some time to take a quick shower before your arrival. just to freshen up….of course.

and that’s how you found abby, keeled over in the thick steam, fingers plugging her gooey hole.

“out.” you demand, your girlfriend flinching at the surprising sound of you. she quickly turns off the water, stepping out of the fog, landing inches from your lips.

“hey angel! how w-“

“go lay down. ass up.”

pushing her lower lip out subconsciously, she obeys, quickly drying off her dripping, freckled skin, and landing face first into the pillows.

“now, abigail.”

oh fuck.

she shudders at the sound of her name, knowing you only use it when she’s in deep shit.

“you know i don’t have many rules, but what’s the most important one i have?” you question her, quietly shuffling off your clothes and securing your black harness around your waist, the lavender 9 inch silicone springing to life.

“i-i….can’t touch myself without permission.” she murmurs, bracing herself for the eventual impact of your hands on her plush ass.

“that’s right honey. now, because i’m feeling generous…..and i had such a bad day, im still gonna fuck you, okay? but….”

“can you show me what you were doing in the shower?” you coo, reveling in abby’s blonde head bobbling incessantly. sauntering over to the tail end of the bed, abbys thighs spread perfectly. the scene was fucking incredible, you only wish you could’ve captured that moment forever on video; abby fingering herself knuckle deep with three of her stocky digits. abby grew wetter as she noticed you attempting to mask your amused expression under taunting disappointment. as she grew closer, you notice her thighs trembling.

“enough.”

abby throws her head back at the demand, slipping her fingers out as you catch her palm, guiding her into your mouth. swirling her digits clean, you release her with a soft popping sound.

“good girl….doesnt even look like i’ll need the lube, hm?” you chuckle to yourself, inspecting her glistening cunt.

“look at you, so pretty even after punishments…” you tease, arms on either side of abby, as you reach down and ghost your warm, wet mouth over a pebbled nipple. she whines in response, bucking up her hips in despair.

“p-please….please….”

“shh, shh…..” you seal your lips to hers, unraveling her perfectly plaited braid, giving you the opportunity to tug lightly at the nape of her scalp. “so beautiful angel….” she mewls in response, your figure snaking ever so slowly down her abdomen. greedy hands quickly find their way into your hair, before you smack her away gently.

“nuh uh. you touch me and i’ll stop.” you demand, staring deep into her oceanic eyes as you spit bitterly on her clit, before sucking her in. and suddenly, tasting her, your eyes blow out, your head empty, fuzzy even; only abby’s angelic whines able to ground you in reality.

“m-m’ gna’ cum!” she yelps, her fingers fisting the sheets, desperate to touch your pretty, dampened face.

“aww, already?” responding quickly, you suck harshly on the throbbing, swollen bud, her back arching into your mouth, chanting your name like a goddamn prayer as she releases.

panting, the girl regains her composure, as you smooth down her hair for a moment. she goes to find solace in the crook of your neck, before you move away, chuckling.

“what? you thought i put this strap on for nothing?” her eyes go wide, recalling the silicone teasing her hole what felt like days ago. whining, she spreads her legs, welcoming you once more.

“nope, ass up.” you tut, lightly tapping the flesh of her thigh as her hair cascades over her flushed face, into the pillows yet again. “awe, my girl need some help?” hands finding their way into her hair, pulling it into a messy, makeshift ponytail. you tug the tendrils towards you, forcing abby away from the comfort of the pillows beneath her.

steadily inhaling, you bottom out into her in one stroke, to your….disappointment. pecking her back, you instruct her to stay where she was, while you rummage around until you found your unique, 11 inch dick, matching the color of your other straps for aesthetic, obviously. attaching it to your harness and slipping your bullet vibrator in between your clit and the fabric, you reassume your position. abby moans feeling the girth of your new appendage, her head nearly hitting the safety of the pillows before you yank her scalp back once again.

“s-s’….too big…” she cries out.

“if it’s ‘too big’, then why are you still pushing your hips up on me, trying to take more?” you reply, reveling in your girlfriends sticky cunt swallowing your dick.

“such a slut….missed this pretty pussy so much today….just wanna breed her so bad.”

abby wails in response, gummy walls pulsing around your dick as she fucks herself up against you while you thrust, sinful smacking of skin filling the space.

“y-yeah?” you pant, “you want me to breed you abs? d-don’t- hgnh- worry, gonna fill you up like you deserve.” the buzzing of the vibrator was driving you damn near insane along with your girlfriend plastered out on the bed looking like a painting, sweat glimmering on her tanned freckles.

“g-gna’ cum in this pussy….” groaning, abby clenches around you, while you pick up the pace to an unforgiving tempo.

“ah….ah….ah!” she exhales with every pounding thrust, the image driving you over the edge. it seems like abby is joining you, with a chorus of your name.

as the hazy white around your high fades, you find abby’s all too familiar figure, pressing sweet, tender kisses to her neck. she grumbles back to life, swiping her sweat from her eyebrows with her forearm.

“so….hard day at work?” she chuckles, pulling you into her arms, fingers weaving through your frizzed out hair.

“the worst.”

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

join my taglist!

@abigails-gf @ellies2missingfingers @ellieslob @cowboylikeabi @elliewilliamsloverrrrrrr @pretty-forest-nymph @mxlti-fand0m-imaginess @luvhyekook @peachesnbows @drunkonnatasha @seraphicsentences @elliewilliamsmaingirl @tragedyslut @asher353 @paqerings @elsdoll @marsworlddd @hi-so-idk @lesbian-useless @tohoko @kaitlynsposi @g414xii @ilovephoebebridgerrrs @eilishxcsz @iheartcurlyfries

[moonstruckme]

Honeydew

I'm doing a rewatch of the bear and god he is just so irresistable. My childhood crush on lip gallagher has been revived and given new purpose! I can't promise to write for carmy consistently but if y'all have requests I wouldn't be opposed to them :)

cw: blood 

Carmy Berzatto x fem!reader ♡ 972 words

There are tons of benefits to being in the same kitchen as a classically trained chef. For one, Carmy always gives you the easy tasks. Stirring pasta, scrambling eggs, chopping scallions. Today, you’re cutting up melon while he whips up some kind of citrus sauce, because your boyfriend is incapable of making just a fruit salad. No, it has to have some kind of fancy factor, or else they’ll take away his star, you guess. (Not that you’re complaining. That sauce is gonna be awesome.)

One thing that doesn’t tend to feel like a benefit is that any time you mess something up, you feel about three times more stupid than you would if you were by yourself. 

How were you supposed to guess that instead of cutting down through the melon when you try to slice it in half, the tip of the giant knife you’re using would come jutting out of the melon and embed itself in your palm. 

You gasp and pull away on instinct, and for a second, can only stare at the strangeness of it. You can see straight through to the inside of your hand, which is as unsettling as it is sickening, freezing you in morbid fascination until blood wells to the surface and your brain catches up to what’s happened. 

“What?” Carmy asks flatly, having heard your gasp and well used to your kitchen mishaps. 

You tear a paper towel off the roll, jamming it over the wound and fisting your hand around it. “I cut myself,” you say, somewhat shakily. 

“How bad?” 

You look down at the knife, miraculously clean-looking despite the blood now flowing from your hand. The paper towel is already starting to feel damp with it. 

You use your good hand to take the knife out of the melon, setting it in the sink so you don’t forget to wash it. “I don’t—” You’ve never cut yourself this deep before. You don’t know how bad is bad. “It seems not great.” 

You startle when a tattooed hand wraps around your elbow. 

“Chill,” Carmy says, turning you around to face him. He takes your wrist. “Open your hand.” 

“I can’t.” Panic makes your throat hot and tight. “It’s bleeding a lot.” 

“Let me see,” he says, trying to pry your fingers away from your curled-up hand. 

“I think it’s fine.” There are tears in your voice, and sometimes you wish Carmy was the type of person whose emotions naturally adjusted to balance out those around him, but your alarm only works him up. 

“Let me see,” he insists sharply, and you don’t have the will to resist, letting him unfold your fingers. You flinch as he removes the paper towel, blood running quickly into the crevices of your palm. 

“Shit,” Carmy hisses, tugging it over the sink. Your hand looks like a delta of crimson streams. He picks the paper towel up again, dabbing roughly so he can see the cut better. 

“Do you think it needs stitches?” you worry aloud, then immediately want to hit yourself. Even if he says it does, you think you’ll push back, too fearful of hospitals and needles and odd, stinging pains to consent to getting them. 

Your boyfriend is quiet, bending close to your hand as he lifts the paper towel again, and your voice goes a bit shrill. “Carm?” 

“No,” he says, staunching the wound again. 

Relief washes over you like a warm tide. Still, you ask, “How do you know?” 

Carmy presses your fingers closed like they had been, loosing a breath as he gives your fist a light squeeze. “I’ve seen enough cuts that do need stitches to know the difference. What the hell did you do?” 

You try to breathe out like he had, but your chest still feels too tight. You can feel your heart beating in your hand. “I don’t know,” you admit. “The knife slipped and went through the skin, or, like, the peel.” 

His brows knit together, and Carmy picks your knife up from the sink. You have no clue what he sees that you don’t, his eyes narrowing, but he shoots you a look once he’s done, setting it back down. 

“It’s dull,” he says, like this is a punishable offense. Maybe in his kitchen, it is. “This is why we keep our knives sharp, so these fuck-ups don’t happen.” 

“How was I supposed to know sharp knives were less dangerous?” You’re trying to joke, but your voice comes out watery. You press your lips together as adrenaline catches up to you, your vision blurring. 

“Relax.” Carmy sounds tired. His grip is strong, though, as he wrestles you into a hug, thick arms banding across your shoulders. You feel stupid, and silly, and he can tell, his hand cupping the back of your neck as tears carve hotly down your cheeks. “You’re just supposed to know.” 

You laugh wetly, breaking up some of the emotion knotted in your chest. Carmy pulls back until he can see your face. His hand moves to the side of your neck, thumb pressed against your jaw. 

“You’re okay,” he says firmly. “Does it hurt?” 

You shake your head. “Not really, I was just scared.” Your lips wobble pathetically, tears dribbling off your chin. “And you yelled at me.” 

Carmy blows out a breath, his mouth slanting wryly. “That wasn’t yelling,” he says, but brings his other hand to your face, brushing your tears away with his thumbs. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” you choke out, pushing against his hands until he gives in, letting you fold yourself into his chest again. “I’m sorry I didn’t sharpen my knife.” 

“I’ll do it for you later.” You can feel his biceps bulging as he tightens his grip on you, holding you closer. “But there’s no fucking way we’re using that melon now.” 

[eijirousbestie]

since ur one of the realistic bakugou writers (just like what that anonie said) what do u think about: 1.him being jealous over his s/o. we always see those possessive or jelly bakugou writings, but i think it's kinda over exaggeration sometimes. 2.with affectionate s/o? like, i know things may be very awkward at the start of their relationship but what if his s/o suddenly has the urge to pepper kisses all over his face & hug him so tight? srry if it's stupid😭

Jealousy + Affection

Jealousy

——————————————-

He’d unsuspectingly pull them into his room when they aren’t looking, closing the door behind the two and standing tall with a displeased frown on his face. Jealousy is one of the feelings Katsuki rarely ever feels. And when he does, he absolutely hates it. It doesn’t make sense to him. He has everything he could ever need. An incredible power, insane strength, intellect like no other and a tongue as sharp as a knife. What the hell would he ever be jealous about? Or at least that’s what he would’ve thought before he got close enough to someone to call his own.

“We needa talk,” he’d grumble, brows knit together. “That ‘new friend’ of yours is pissing me off. I swear they only ever need you when I finally have you to myself.”

He’s realistic. He knows they’re not just gonna drop someone for him just because he doesn’t like them for unproved reasons, but that still doesn’t mean he won’t stop wishing they will. Until then, he’ll keep taking extra measures to make sure they can make up for lost time spent together. He’d spend extra time giving TLC he usually wouldn’t, feeling like he’d need to remind his partner where home really is.

In no way is he being overtly possessive or trying to tie his partner down. That’s just crazy as hell. He’s just worried about the third party’s intentions with his person, untrusting of what their motives may be or what their influence is on his partner. He knows they can handle their own but still it’s just a normal concern.

Then again, this is Katsuki we’re talking about so when he has his mind set on something it’s hard to change his mind about it, but he tried to be flexible for them. He tries. Jealousy is a bitch.

————————————————————

Affection

Having an affectionate partner isn’t always the easiest for Katsuki to deal with but that doesn’t mean he won’t try. Most likely this person would be one of the very few relationships he’s had throughout his life. Being career and goal focused for years on end left him with no time to think about all that lovey dovey bullshit other people his age would drown in. But everybody wants somebody, even if it’s just a friend.

And that’s how the two had started. Being friends with Katsuki is no easy feat. Having to put up with constant yelling, bickering and outrageously childish arguments, it wasn’t a cake walk. But it sure as hell was still fun just like any other friendship. The two had gotten along unsuspectingly well even though their personalities were near opposite. Him being reserved and self righteous; them being outwardly friendly and super connected to people.

In most cases Katsuki wouldn’t give someone like them the time of day, but of course they’re a rare case. His rare case. Katsuki could find solace in them knowing that whatever stupid shit he might spew could easily be returned with matched energy. The sense of mutual respect would then blossom them into a budding relationship, one where he could feel safe enough to fall with them completely.

At the beginning, yes it was a bit awkward. He wasn’t the skinship type at all and didn’t really understand why someone had to be glued to another person’s skin damn near 24/7. But after being slowly acclimated to hand holding, he starts to warm up to mutual touch. Having gotten used to being hugged up by them since the earlier stages in their friendship, of course he knows all their tells months into their new relationship.

Occasionally coming in for a hug, he’d accept, letting them do so as long as it wasn’t overly performative. There’s a happy balance in everything so he’d gotten to learn how to take it with stride after a while. Well, only if they hadn’t pestered him with too much physical contact in one day. One too many hugs? He’d put a palm to their face and lightly shove them away, not using any real strength to hurt them. Only enough to send the message that he’s all hugged out.

Of course, if he noticed he’d been neglecting their love language of touch, he’d concede, but in his own way. Loungin on the couch with them, he may glance down and notice their hands resting in their lap as they focus on the television. His gaze would drift up to the side of their face, watching their expression closely before taking their hand in his and putting it in his lap instead, lightly stroking the back of their hand with his thumb.

Katsuki can be a hardass sometimes. Most of the time. But he’s incredibly perceptive of people, especially those he holds close to his heart. So of course he’d do what he can to make them feel comfortable around him all while keeping himself comfortable and preserving his own boundaries.

————————————————————

[desceros]

some updates for people so you know where we are here at desceros dot com:

i took the last couple days off of doing anything fandom-related to recollect myself, and i'm in a really good mindspace now thanks to my friends, my partner, and all of you. thank you, thank you, thank you.

i'm really itching to write again, which is super exciting! i have a brief collab that i'm doing with truffle, and i'm also going to be working on the next chapter of symphony. i think it's about time we hear about that history between viola-chan and alopex, don't you? ;)

also, i've got, like, holy shit a lot of messages of support in my inbox over the shitshow that rocked us all a few days ago. i'm not going to answer them because honestly i'm really tired of wasting brain cells on the whole situation and those people don't deserve more of my attention than they've already gotten; but know that i read every single one of them and i really, really, really appreciate everyone understanding my concern, supporting my new boundaries, and sending me such kind words. it really reinforces my thoughts that i made the right decision to stay. this is such a good community, and i'm glad i get to keep you :)

thank you especially to those of you that came off-anon. i won't ask you to do so in the future in order to keep interacting, and i will keep your identities secret, but i really appreciate the gesture of trust. i'm still keeping anon asks open since i know a lot of people are a bit shy, but it means a lot that you were like hey, this is who i am, i'm an adult, breathe easy.

anywho! barring someone hitting me between the eyes with a fic idea, after the next symphony chapter i'm going to be doing the house of leaves-inspired leo fic. that one's going to be really fun to write, and the people i've told little details about it have started vibrating enough to power a small country, so i think everyone's going to find it really interesting!! should be another symphony chapter after that, and then i'd like to do the leo fic for the dayjob au. that one is... well. teehee. :)

okay, that should give everyone an idea of where i am on working on things. i look forward to sharing all of it with you!! :D

[drdemonprince]

how did you know that seeking institutional help was the right step to take?

For four years I was always in high levels of care. When I transitioned out of that, I was a "revolving door patient" to ip units living with a carer the rest of the time. I sometimes self-harmed or did other actions intentionally to get hospitalized during that time. I'm going to focus on mostly that because I don't want to get into the weeds of how different psych treatment programs are categorized and run.

I would say that my goal of being hospitalized usually was to change something in my outpatient life - let my therapist know I wasn't willing to do something, get my companions to let me go for walks alone, whatever. I'd get hospitalized or call the cops on myself or send scary texts to my therapist and then try to end my life, eventually being stopped. I didn't want to die, but if I could prove to them I was willing to, they'd listen.

Another person mentioned a desire for closeness+physical touch, and that was a huge part of it for me. i even got restrained sometimes just because I wanted any touch, which is something commonly heard from incarcerated people. I had certain nurses and other staff who I saw as my family, calling my therapist "dad" and interacting in a needy, childlike way with floor staff.

I also liked how much it pared down my life. I was in college at the time, and found the social habits of the other students confusing and overwhelming, so I'd get hospitalized to miss class.

what helped you trust the professionals or the institution enough for it to be beneficial to you?

i wouldn't say I trust any of the institutions, but some staff earned my trust. I was a scary mean noncompliant patient so the few who actually bothered to get to know me were usually moments away from some kind of burnout where they realized all this shit sucks.

One of the things they did that earned my trust was to share about their own mental health or addiction history. This is encouraged in sud places, but usually VERY discouraged in psych units, moreso the higher level of care it is.

Another big thing was to allow me to break rules or break them themselves. My ex-therapist used to meet with me for extra time, give me my DVD player when I wasn't allowed, etc. and it felt like he saw me as equal. Turns out he sucks. but. during the time he was treating me he definitely helped me a lot with my thinking patterns, so the trust still ended up benefiting me, even if the relationship didn't always. He also talked A LOT about his family and life outside of work, and showed me pictures, and I even met his dog once.

for me this is an example of why therapists are kind of. not great? because he earned my trust enough to help me, I was at his defense. I felt like not getting better was something I was "doing to him", and his displays of sadness (once something I'd considered a positive aspect of his self disclosure) became a way to manipulate me into the hospital when I didn't want to go, without having to resort to force or law. i agreed with the assertion of psychology that he knew me better than I know myself, and gave every part of my personality, personhood, to the medical model.

so yes it helped as in now when I'm suicidal or about to bpd-style destroy my every relationship I think "play the tape forward what happens next" and don't. which is lame bc it means most of the people who treated me get to leave patting themselves on the back about how well im doing now.

which kinds of institutions have been *less* traumatic than the others?

A few times I got to live in supportive group home style places, and those are kind of nice! It was cool to be in a place surrounded by other mentally ill people. Much less lonely. In general, places that let you outside independently, let you access food independently (e.g. no staff in the kitchen), and let you keep some secrets from staff are the best. My quality of life was 100% better when all the program heads knew we were vaping in our rooms but just let it happen unless someone started setting off alarms. Ditto with like, being able to stay up late on Devices.

Having that independence, a place for my sense of self other than being a patient, was sooo sooo helpful.

is it sometimes worth simply not being able to act on the ideation, even if it means putting up with lots of institutional bullshit?

I didn't find the hospital particularly good at getting me to not act, instead they just prevented the worst consequences. All three hundred stitches I got for self-harm were while I was institutionalized. But like, my nerve damage is less than it could've been. I am not sure how to evaluate if that's better than having just died, because I have no idea how much the institution itself caused self-harm and suicidality.

all things being equal, would it always be better to be able to stay at a friend's house instead?

yes

if you could get 24-7 company from a loved one, would that be better?

yes. however. i think it would be good if people had some information about how to talk to suicidal people. like... i forget the training. but its similar to what they teach helpline volunteers. thats its ok to say suicide. to ask if they have a plan. to ask if theyd be willing to get rid of the means. etc.

SORRY IF THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE TO READ

this is a wealth of information, thank you!

[dazais-guardian-angel]

went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear 🫠🫠🫠

[xoxoemynn]

Pro tip: if you ever suffer any kind of personal/medical/family/whatever emergency and your place of employment’s response is anything other than “please take all the time you need, let us know if you need anything, we’re thinking of you,” start applying to other jobs asap because you deserve better.

[fleshdyke]

hejehge

[notsodailycake]

Aha...ahahahaha, now my teacher really went too far-

He's not returning from the hell hole now, I'm pissed, and imma make sure he knows it

But glad to know the hatred is mutual sir. Unfortunately for you, you came at me on that dreadful time of the month where my hormones go wild and my spite for the world increases

And also extremely unfortunate to you...

You messed with my sister.

[lyekisses]

trying not to be dramatic but. i kinda want to start drama!

[dragonfyre-creations]

I don't think I've ever poured so many of my physical attributes and so much of my heart and soul into a character design before in such a personal way before so fuck it whenever I finish the final design for Faeng and whatever I come up with I'm making her into my sona (dragonsona? Persona? Idk how this works lmfao)

(long dump in the tags and under the cut)

The last time I was even remotely connected this much to a character was when I designed Jaxsu, but honestly never truly made her my sona/main character, she was just the one I used most often in art pieces. I never really actually liked her lore and backstory enough because she was what I wanted to be instead of what I am/was. Jax isnt perfect either, but her parents love her and otherwise has friends and is loved unconditionally. She has a healthy relationship with everyone and everything. This is where the disconnect happened and where I actually started to dislike her despite her being my otherwise favorite character for awhile. Both Faeng and Jaxsu have ADHD and Autism but Jaxsu was able to put that towards a job and becoming a ship captain and winning a colosseum tournament. She's done all of these great things so even if she didn't have a healthy relationship with her parents they'd still love her because she's done something impressive and useful.

Faeng on the other hand, has to fight for everything. Her parents are important and have important jobs, and place all of these unreachable and unrealistic expectations on her and expect her to reach them with minimal effort and be perfect, but she can't no matter how hard she tries. She needs someone to explain it and break it down for her in steps so she understands what do to and how to do it so she doesn't mess it up. She's both strong and smart but it's not in practical "normal" ways or subjects. It's convoluted, It's not in the ways everyone wants her to be, she has no teachers to help her understand how to channel that strength and intelligence into something "useful" so she puts it towards the things she likes and wants to do, and thus struggles in a world that would otherwise be easy to navigate and conquer if she were "normal". Those that do understand her and try to help her are alienated by other people in an attempt to either punish both of them or force her to adapt to be somewhat passing as normal, if not then at least listen to what she's told to do. She does eventually make acquaintances but find that her twisted speech and weird explanations aren't worth trying to decipher and understand so they leave, they don't put in the effort to meet her halfway even though she's struggling and doing her best to speak in a way they'll understand.

Her parents acknowledge her differences but in a way that frames it as flawed and wrong, something that needs to be corrected, and push her to figure out her problems by herself, tearing down any support network she tries to build. She tries her damned hardest but it's not enough, it never is and never will be for them because she's not the perfect child they wanted. She showed promise in her younger years being a "gifted child" so she knows what love and acceptance lies in wait and what could be if she could just be normal and perfect. Her achievements and promise come and show in waves. She burns and fizzles out in one of the most virulent, painful ways possible after getting hurt trying to prove her worth yet again. She holds nothing but criticism, vitriol and contempt for herself because she can't claw her way back to where she was before, this time something happened and something is terribly, horribly wrong this time but she doesn't know that it is and can't figure it out, nor will anyone tell her. Whatever it is, left a mental and several physical injuries and it does nothing but deepen her self hatred and her parent's waning belief in her. She listens to false promises and praise of other people who do nothing but wish to manipulate and harm her but she stays because any form of praise is deemed good, she hungers for more and does worsening things.

She ignores the people who tell her that what she's doing is dangerous and will only end in disaster, because she doesn't believe them. If the people who are saying they're her friends are telling her that the people she hurts deserve it and that what she's doing is good, then surely she needs to believe them over strangers, right? Everything comes to a breaking point and shatters around her leaving her with quite literally nothing but her own self hatred, newfound rage and overbearing mental issues she needs to navigate once again to find out what hell it is and what's wrong with her now. She's scared of everyone and everything with the added bonus of now being hyper-aware and perceptive of people's mannerisms and behaviors, especially those who want to manipulate or harm her again. She wraps every vulnerable part of herself in metaphorical thorns and teeth to bite and maim whoever pries and digs into what she truly is, even people who want to understand her. She suffers at more than her own hand, forcing herself to deal with everything alone, until she finally meets someone that could be considered a true friend. She slowly opens up and helps them as much as they help her before everything comes crashing back down once again upon the reveal that they've been lying to her the entire time about very serious issues, and she's been used as nothing more than an attack dog once again. She burns every bridge and everyone around her in one final breakdown of rage before shutting down completely. One of the groups of friends she's shoved stay comes back and asks if she's ok. She doesn't understand why they're being kind, why they're concerned it why they care and tries to shove them away again. Every single day they still ask, talking even if there's no response from her, until she finally relents and breaks.

She's finally loved and accepted despite every fault and every flaw she has, and every time she tries to pull away out of fear of being an inconvenience they pull back twice as hard and remind her that she's able to just exist, she doesn't need to constantly be useful and that they care. She finally, finally is comfortable enough to let herself be accepted and then becomes the most clingy little shit, just as they do with her. But yeah, my own life has been very much of the same, especially the last part. Every time I go on another self-hatred spiral and drop off the face of the earth my MonHun bros give me a metaphorical slap to the face and remind me that I don't need to constantly prove my worth to everyone and prove that I'm useful, and that existing every once in awhile is more than enough. If that doesn't work then it's "you need to get your ass back over here because we're failing the Safi siege without the absolutely ridiculous amount of DPS your build Switchaxe does". I was not intending for her to be so much like me but goddamnit she's wormed her way into being my favorite now and I guess Mirage is no longer my impromptu sona

[vagueiish]

i've been told a number of times that mental illness is a dirty, filthy, no good liar. but like..... what if it isn't?

[lastoneout]

Like I know we all love making ADHD seem cool but like, don't forget it's actually a disability? My ADHD is bad enough I've nearly been evicted for forgetting to mail the rent check to the property manager, I've forgotten to pay the utility bills and had my water or power get turned off or had to pay fines bcs I missed a credit card payment. Once I was supposed to cat sit for a friend and I lost the house key she gave me but didn't realize until she was already out of town, and she had to call the apartment office to get someone to give me the spare so her cats would have food for the week. When I'm unmedicated I can't even get myself to shower half the time, forget eating or cleaning. Before I started living with my fiance I'd just like, not eat for days because I didn't have anyone to remind me to eat or go buy me food. I've forgotten to turn the stove off so many times and ruined kettles and tbh been DAMN fucking lucky the house didn't burn down. I've done stupid, impulsive shit that's nearly gotten me KILLED. I can't remember to close the shower curtain reliably even through my fiance points out every single time I forget, and he's almost out of soap rn bcs for the last MONTH neither of us have been able to remember to order more once we get out of the shower.

I've had such bad memory my entire life that to this day someone suggesting I forgot something because I simply didn't care enough is a legitimate trigger that, in the worst cases, makes me have a breakdown.

I get that for some of you this is just something that makes studying hard or you forget to take a pee break when you're playing Minecraft or whatever, that's still a valid struggle and you do deserve help and understanding, but like, ADHD is a disability. It's disabling. It's not impossible to improve and learn coping skills, meds help a lot, there are great accommodations out there(LIKE CLEANING SERVICES), but not every case of ADHD is the same, and a lot of them are pretty ugly ngl, and just because you managed to do something doesn't mean someone else is gonna be able to manage it too, or that they're being lazy for struggling. And that obviously doesn't mean ADHD people have a free pass to never work on themselves and make everyone cater to their every need or whatever, but we do deserve some understanding when we explain that our disability is actually disabling in ways that aren't palatable to you. So like, idk, maybe don't immediately recoil in horror when you find out that someone with ADHD can't keep their house clean. And for fucks sake don't ridicule them for it.

[visforvii]

.

[spaghettioverdose]

If you are usamerican and someone gets frustrated that usamericans have no clue about most of the major atrocities their country committed, and you feel attacked, you can at any point just google it and shut up.

Yeah ok, someone brought to your attention that you should've known this shit and you didn't. You're probably a bit upset, a bit ashamed, a bit guilty, you probably feel a bit attacked. That's fine. You can just think "Oh I probably should've made an effort to know about things like this if I am to consider myself progressive or leftist. I could simply google it or I could ask OP to give some recommended reading on the subject. I am going to educate myself and move on." or you can at least simply recognise that at the end of the day you don't really care and move on. You do not have to go "you don't understand how bad the us education system is, they don't teach you how to wipe your ass in school!! also I'm literally neurodivergent which means I am incapable of taking my eyes off of fandom for the 5 whole minutes it would take for me to at least read one article about this."

Why do you feel the need to endlessly be the victim? Why do you have to act like a clown? If you didn't know, you can just recognise that you probably should've known, take the L, educate yourself and move on.

Do you think there's many countries that mention their atrocities in their history lessons? Do you think many countries talk about US history and atrocities other than the ones that experience said atrocities? And yet people still fucking know.

This information hasn't even been suppressed in decades but it apparently doesn't need to be since most of the US population isn't bothered enough to look it up, and when someone is frustrated with you about that fact, you'd rather double down and throw a tantrum than educate yourselves.

You cannot tell me you want anything progressive or left or even socialist and yet you vocally refuse to do the barest fucking minimum of effort to know anything about the fucking country you live in or the role it has geopolitically.

[theyluvkarolina]

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐓

Part 2 of `` 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍 ``

· . ୨୧⭒๋࣭ ⭑ ` ` when you know, you know. ` ` ⊹ ‧₊˚

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 ୨୧ Being in love with your friend is the best! Until your wort dream comes true. However, there might be hope after all.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 ୨୧ lando norris x friend!reader (one-sided love), carlos sainz x fem!reader

𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌 ୨୧ none!

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ୨୧ angstish…? (fluff for reader now!), sex jokes (i’m sorry I couldn’t help myself), GOOGLE TRANSLATED SPANISH!!

𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐎 ୨୧ Margaret - Lana Del Rey

𝐀/𝐍 ୨୧ Pt 2 is done! i love carlos and i stand by the fact he types emojis and uses them like a mom. also, oml, the amount of photos here is actually insane 😭😭

iMessages

Are you sure you want to block both Lando Norris and Bsf/N?

>No >Yes

Lando Norris and Bsf/N have been blocked.

INSTAGRAM

y/n.jpeg

liked by, landonorris, carlossainz55, lilyzneimer and others

y/n.jpeg fictional men >>> real men

1,234 comments

username1 get lando OUT of the likes 💀

username2 men have the absolute audacity

username3 imagine losing your friendship and treating a sweetest girl like shit. isn’t me but it is lando and Ex-Bsf/N 🤷‍♀️

lailahasanovic ✔︎ the hottest 😮‍💨

→ y/n.jpeg LOOK IN THE MIRROR 💕

lilymunihe ✔︎ she’s my gf guys!!

→ alex_albon ✔︎ uhm… i’m right here → lilymunihe ✔︎ and? → alex_albon ✔︎ wow. → georgerussell ✔︎ imagine your gf getting stolen by her own friend 😂 → y/n.jpeg carmen is next georgie boy. → carmenmundt ✔︎ 😳

(ex)ybsf_username wifey 🤍 🤍

→ y/n.jpeg ex-wife actually. → username4 TELL HER Y/N!! → username5 Y/N saying it how it is. → username6 ex-Bsf/N literally cannot read the room.

iMessages

INSTAGRAM

y/n.jpeg

liked by carlossainz55, franscicac.gomes, lilymunihe and others

y/n.jpeg girls night ❤️

tagged ; franscicac.gomes, lilymunihe, alexandrasaintmleux

2,345 comments

charles_leclerc ✔︎ still waiting for that pasta recipe 😓

→ alexandrasaintmleux char, i think there's a reason y/n isn’t giving it to you… → charles_leclerc ✔︎ what does that mean?! → alexandrasaintmleux i can’t say it i feel too bad 😞 → maxverstappen1 ✔︎ @ charles_leclerc you’re a shit cook. → charles_leclerc ✔︎ wow. thank you max. 😐 → alexandrasaintmleux still love you! 🩷 → charles_leclerc ✔︎ …je t'aime aussi 🫶

username7 anyone know the resturant??

y/n.jpeg it’s Truffle Bistrot in Monaco!

username8 has anyone else noticed how carlos has been constantly liking her photos? like as soon as Y/N posts??

→ usernme9 I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE → username10 carlos will treat her right 100% → username11 better than lando ever would 😬

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

y/n.jpeg

📍 Barcalona, Spain

liked by carlossainz55, alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc and others

y/n.jpeg ¡Hola Espana!

3,245 comments

carlossainz55 ✔︎ beautiful! 🤩

→ charles_leclerc ✔︎ 🤨 🤨

carlossainz55 ✔︎ although, madrid is a much better place in spain, I can give you a tour next time! 😊

→ username12 ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??? → username13 carlos making the moves??? → username14 HELP HE’S SUCH A MILLENNIAL → y/n.jpeg you say that as if you haven’t toured me around madrid when you were still at McLaren after the Spanish GP 🤔 → carlossainz55 yes but, it wasn’t just you and me 😉 → username15 AYO??? → username16 okay mr. sainz we see you → username17 he’s making the moves now that y/n isn’t crushing on lando 💀 → maxverstappen1 ✔︎ this was the worst flirting i’ve seen since charles and alexandra. → charles_leclerc ✔︎ enough of this 😞

TWITTER

iMessages

INSTAGRAM

y/n.jpeg posted a story 1 minute ago!

y/n.jpeg

📍Madrid, Spain

liked by carlossainz55, maxverstappen1, kellypiquet and others

y/n.jpeg first date kinda nervous 😵‍💫

…. comments

username18 HELLO???

username18 this was not on my 2024 calendar.💀

username19 bro lando is gonna be LIVID.

username20 girl said “you date my bsf, i date yours” 😭

username21 SHE’S NOT EVEN HIDING IT

carlossainz55 ✔︎ hermosa ❤️

→ y/n.jpeg says the one with the best hair ever 🥴🥴 → carlossainz55 you flatter me too much 🙃

username22 kinda living for them together.

username23 better than Lando 🤷‍♀️

username24 hopped from one driver to another… not a good look 😬

→ username25 and lando hopped from one bsf to another??? not a good look for him 😬 😬

iMessages

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

y/n.jpeg

liked by carlossainz55, oscarpiastri, lilyzneimer and others

y/n.jpeg 🎙️ switching sides 🗣️

3,653 comments

carlossainz55 ✔︎ you look better in red ❤️

y/n.jpeg oh hush you’re making me blush 😣

oscarpiastri ✔︎ kind of offended at the moment…

→ y/n.jpeg whoopsies… sorry osc!! you are still my favorite driver that mclaren 🫶 → oscarpiastri ✔︎ favorite? I’m honored. → username26 probably her favorite for a reason 💀

username27 they weren’t lying when they said “everyone is a ferrari fan”

username28 that carlos photo is literally a jumpscare 😞😞

→ y/n.jpeg he might be a jumpscare but he’s my jumpscare 🫶

charles_leclerc ✔︎ please stop flirting in the garage I don’t need to see this.

→ y/n.jpeg quiet. last time i checked my bf didn’t post a tik tok with THAT audio. → alexandrasaintmleux okay! that’s enough information!

y/n.jpeg

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, alexandrasaintmleux and others

y/n.jpeg when he can cook >>>

4,012 comments

charles_leclerc ✔︎ this feels very targeted 😓😓

→ y/n.jpeg maybe it is → charles_leclerc ✔︎ is my cooking that bad 🙁 → alexandrasaintmleux well… you definitely improved! :) → username29 HELPPP ALEX 😭😭 → charles_leclerc ✔︎ @ alexandrasaintmleux who are you and what did you do to my alex.

username30 1/2 ferrari drivers being able to cook is a world record

→ y/n.jpeg thank god i have the one that can!! → alexandrasaintmleux 😅

4 months later…

f1

liked by carlossainz55, yn.jpeg, ferrari and others

f1 Carlos Sainz wins in Singapore! His first Smoooooth Operation in Ferrari! 🌶️ 🏁

6,354 comments

username31 smooooooooooth operatorrrrr

username32 AS HE SHOULD ‼️

username33 ferrari's only hope this season 😭🙏

username34 someone besides Red Bull winning??

y/n.jpeg my boy ❤️

→ carlossainz55 mi amor 🫶 → username35 stop it they are so cute → username36 "my boy" 🥲 → username37 I still remember when lando was "her boy" 😕 → username38 lando is the past. Carlos is Y/N's present and future. leave Lando back.

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

landonorris

liked by (ex)ybsf_username and others

landonorris when i win podium >>>

tagged: (ex)ybsf_username

3,561 comments

username39 ew a ex-Bsf/N sighting

username40 this did NOT eat

username41 i don’t want to see ex-Bsf/N bazongas 🙁

→ username42 BAZONGAS 💀💀

username43 i love the fact no one on the grid or the wags BESIDES ex-Bsf/N liked this post 😭

username44 as they should tbh 🙏🙏

username45 HE-HE-HELL NAH 🗣️ 🔥🚨 🔥🚨 🔥🚨🗣️‼️

mclaren ✔︎ 😬

→ username46 EVEN MCLAREN DISAPPROVES

(ex)ybsf_username my boy ❤️

→ username47 I KNOW SHE DID NOT JUST SAY THAT. → username48 NO WAY SHE TOOK Y/N NICKNAME FOR LANDO NOW TOO…

y/n.jpeg

liked by carlossainz55, lilymunihe, franscicac.gomes and others

y/n.jpeg when MY BOY finishes 1st on and off the track 🤭 >>>

tagged ; carlossainz55

5,436 comments

username49 MISS GIRL.

username50 WE DID NOT NEED TO SEE THIS

username51 THE CARLOS CRUMBS

username52 CARLOS CRUMBS??? THE Y/N CRUMBS ARE INSANE

username53 THIS IS DEFINITELY A CLAP BACK AT THE LANDO POST 😭

charles_leclerc ✔︎ ENOUGH OF THIS.

→ carlossainz55 is it wrong to show a certain someone what he’s missing? 😅 → charles_leclerc ✔︎ NOT AT ALL BUT NOT LIKE THIS

lilymunihe there are kids here 😕

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

landonorris

📍 Japan

landonorris podiummmm babbbbyyyyy 🏆

6,435 comments

username54 no ex-Bsf/N?

username55 after the fight i’m not surprised about a no ex-Bsf/N post 😬

username56 FIGHT???

→ username57 you didn’t hear? apparently, lando never liked ex-Bsf/N and they started fighting about Y/N and what happened to her… it’s definitely a “holy shit” moment …

COMMENTS ON THIS POST HAVE BEEN LIMITED.

landonorris posted a story 30 seconds ago!

INSTAGRAM

y/n.jpeg

liked by carlossainz55, and others

y/n.jpeg karma is the guy on the screen coming straight home to me!

1 comment

COMMENTS ARE RESTRICTED

carlossainz55 ✔︎ mi querida ❤️ Siempre agradecida de que un evento tan malo nos haya reunido hasta donde estamos hoy. Wouldn't change it for the world!

ENG: (My dear ❤️ Always grateful that such a bad event has brought us together as far as we are today. Wouldn't change it for the world!)

𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐀 ;

message failed to send!

𝐀/𝐍 2 ୨୧ Soooo… about that ending… 😍 Thank you to the Anon that came up with this idea! I decided to incorporate it into the story someway since i loved the thought sm! Everyone say “thank you Anon!!”

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒 ; @mangotaitai , @folklorsweet , @callsignwidow , @mia-rrrs , @clown-fc , @stvrdustalexx , @dessxoxsworld , @minkyungseokie , @dr4g0ngirl , @imsiriuslyreal , @oscarwildingsworld , @poseidonssoen31, @eringaitskill , @allywthsr , @khaylin27 , @itsjustkhaos , @aundercover , @moonyseyelash , @runs-with-sciss0rs , @ironmaiden1313 , @malynn , @littlehoneyfreak , @azxulaa , @ijustgomessitupx , @sp1rl , @oliveswiftly , @fragilemuses , @ivegotparticulartaste , @karinasbae , @elijahslover ,

For those that are NOT underlined, please make sure you have the ability to be tagged!

The most common reason is that your blog is just hidden. Tumblr user mentions rely on Tumblr’s user searches, so if you’re hidden from Tumblr searches, you’re hidden from authors being able to tag you. Or, your blog is a new baby blog! It’ll take a bit for you to start showing up in the search engine.