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#but i think i do equal to or more than my fair share of the chores
kinardscoffee · 2 days
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I truly don’t see this slow burn 6 season arc with buddie. I’ve been watching the show since 2021 and I’ve never shipped them. They’ve always been very platonic to me and this idea that BOBs push that place romantic love higher than platonic love is…..not great to me. Also this idea that Buck is Christopher’s other dad? I also don’t see it. Buck is a very important role in Christopher’s life but I’ve never seen the dad aspect? He comes across as more of an uncle which makes sense being his father’s best friend.
Hey, Anon!
Oof, right there with you!
I don't understand why people see platonic love as less than a romantic type cause, truly, a really great friendship can make all the difference in the world. And, like, we see this in the show in regards to Buck's coma dream.
In the coma dream, Buck finds out that Eddie was known as "the angry guy" at the 118. We find out that Eddie's parents ultimately take Christopher away from him, most likely because Eddie was unable to find reliable child care because, in this scenario, Buck never introduced Eddie to Carla.
Now, this is kind of important because that reasoning, which was made by Buck, means that it was Buck's friendship that helped Eddie through that uncertain time. It had nothing to do with a romantic love or pining. It was simply one man befriending another man and showing some support. A thing that Eddie doesn't have a lot of when he firsts shows up to LA.
One thing I personally haven't seen talked about regarding their friendship and Buck's relationship to Christopher also connects to the coma dream. Cause guess who IS in Buck's coma dream? Christopher is, that's who!
And it's kinda neat to me that coma Christopher asks Buck if he will help him find his dad. Indicating that along the way, as Buck and Eddie's friendship grew, Eddie found himself. He was happy, and he was able to be the dad that Christopher needed him to be. All because of the kindness selflessly given by Buck.
And another thing... the coma dream is Buck's mind. So, the fact that we don't see Eddie at all and Buck doesn't really linger on any idea of Eddie is pretty telling if I'm honest. You don't think while Buck was trapped in his head, we wouldn't see more indicators about just how important Eddie is to him?
If anything, we see just how important Christopher is to Buck. Christopher stands at Buck's bedside and tells Buck that "wherever you are, you have to come back."
Because Eddie, Christopher's dad, needs his emotional support bestie. And Christopher KNOWS this. It's just another example of showing how much Christopher really sees through Eddie's trauma.
Onto the dad bit...
I don't see Buck as Christopher's dad either. But I believe it's yet another form of a deep platonic love.
Buck sees Christopher as his friend.
Not Eddie's kid. Not a baby.
To Buck, they are equals, and they both understand each other's importance to the one man they share in common: Eddie.
To say he can be seen as Christopher's uncle is probably the closest thing to say in regard to labels. Cause we all know that if Christopher were to get hurt, Buck would say he's family with absolutely no hesitation.
We also see the almost brotherly divide between Eddie and Buck when it comes to issues that Christopher is facing.
The biggest one is the skateboard incident. Eddie, the father, immediately jumps to conclusions and blames others. (Which, fair... cause I'd do the same thing for my kid who is also special needs)
Then you see Buck just trying to find a suitable solution. He never gets mad at Chris and he never punishes him.
Because those are the parent's responsibilities.
Sorry, anon... I kinda went left on this a bit!
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yxlnst · 2 days
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Hello! i hope youre having a great day/night
I’ve recently read your fics and i do truly love them, i was here to request something if you dont mind. Feel free to ignore this if its uncomfortable for you!!
I honestly LOVE heavy angst but fluff at the end lmao, could you maybe write something rreeallllyyy angsty with jun, but with a fluff ending? I can’t really come up with good ideas tbh, but maybe a huge argument? Honestly i dont know i just cope with these stuff so anything is fine lol.
Thank you so much if youre seeing this!! Have a great day/night
ofc!! And thank youu aswell, also if the story was not what you had in mind please tell me!! Now lets focus on the ff :DDD
Rebuilding Us
idol!Jun x reader!Y/n
Angst + Fluff
🧸 Word count 🧸 : 664
🎀 Summary : Argument drives you and Jun apart. Reconciliation brings the two of you back together stronger.
🧸 - - - - - - - - - - - - 🎀 - - - - - - - - - - 🧸
Jun stood in the living room, tension crackling in the air like a live wire. You had been arguing for hours, and now, exhaustion and frustration were beginning to take their toll.
"I just don't understand why you can't see it from my perspective!" Jun's voice was raised, his usual calm demeanor shattered by the intensity of the argument.
You crossed your arms, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. "And I don't get why you're always so quick to dismiss my feelings! It's like you don't even care!"
His eyes softened for a brief moment before the anger flared up again. "That's not fair, and you know it. I care more than you realize, but this—" he gestured between the two of you, "this is tearing us apart."
The silence that followed was heavy, filled with unspoken words and hurt. You both stood there, breathing heavily, trying to process everything that had been said. The emotional distance between you seemed insurmountable.
"I just… I need some space," you finally whispered, the words cutting through the tension like a knife. "I can't keep doing this."
Jun's face fell, and for a moment, you saw the vulnerability behind his anger. "So, what? You're just going to walk away?" His voice was quiet now, laced with pain.
You turned away, unable to look at him. "I don't know, Jun. Maybe we both need time to figure things out."
As you walked to the door, you heard him sigh deeply. "I don't want to lose you," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I can't keep fighting like this either."
You paused, your hand on the doorknob, and looked back at him. The sight of him, standing there with a mixture of desperation and sadness, made your heart ache. "I need to think," you said softly. "I hope you understand."
Days passed, and the space between you and Jun felt like a chasm. You missed him terribly, but the arguments had left scars that were slow to heal. One evening, as you sat on the couch, lost in thought, your phone buzzed with a message.
Y/n can we talk? I miss you.
You hesitated, your heart racing. After a few moments, you typed back a simple reply.
Okay.
That night, you met at the park where you had shared so many happy memories. Jun was already there, pacing nervously. When he saw you, he stopped, his expression a mix of hope and fear.
"Hi," he said softly.
"Hi," you replied, equally nervous.
There was a long silence before Jun spoke again. "I've been thinking a lot about what you said. About how I dismiss your feelings. You're right. I was so caught up in my own frustrations that I didn't really listen to you."
You took a deep breath, your heart pounding. "I wasn't fair either. I should have tried to understand where you were coming from instead of just getting defensive."
Jun stepped closer, his eyes searching yours. "I don't want to fight anymore. I want us to work through this. Together."
Tears welled up in your eyes as you nodded. "Me too. I hate being apart from you, Jun."
He reached out, gently taking your hand in his. "I love you. More than anything. Let's not give up on us."
A tear slipped down your cheek as you squeezed his hand. "I love you too. Let's start over."
Jun pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly as if he was afraid to let go. The warmth of his embrace felt like coming home. In that moment, all the pain and anger melted away, replaced by the promise of a fresh start.
As you stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, you knew that the road ahead wouldn't be easy. But as long as you had each other, you were ready to face anything together.
The night sky above was clear, the stars shining brightly as if celebrating your reunion. And as you walked hand in hand, you both knew that the love you shared was stronger than any argument, ready to face whatever came next, together.
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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i'm gna make that spam account tonight maybe ehe
#🌙.rambles#I'M IN A GOOD MOOD NOW#compared to earlier when i felt overwhelmed 🥹#i don't know what i'm doing but oh well i'll do what i can ><#i want to organize myself better here bcs i have too much thoughts n. i've gotten used to rambling here again#i'm not sure if i'll share the @ here or if i'll make it moots only#maybe the latter. i want to keep my life more private#honestly i realize i barely share anything about what i do in my life to my friends huh#idk it comes more naturally to listen than to speak with those two friends#with apollo though our conversations are very equal and fair#though i'm still more of a listener#i have a lot in my head to say and write but#maybe i've gotten so used to restraining myself eh#help i'm rambling again#ah no i don't think i'm still actually doing as well as it seems#there's still a lot of stuff bottled somewhere that's built up from all these years#oh you know maybe the kind of person i am is doomed to be lonely but#even if i'm different even if i don't fit in then i don't care#i know who i am. i'll hold unto that. that is what matters to me#more than stupid expectations of society. that annoying useless pressure#i can go so much further if i continue strengthening myself from the inside#and. and i hope one day i'll really able to achieve the real inner peace i want#:') because w the depth of how i think and feel. there's definitely a lot of inner turmoil inside me. dormant at times but always there#i'll try my best to actively work towards what i want. to achieve as much fulfillment as i can.#that i may be reasonably satisfied with my growth and the paths i choose to take.#it's definitely constantly a mess in my head n idk what i'm doing 90% of the time#but as i go on i'll continue to accomplish more and more. one day i hope to be at peace enough to let go of all my regrets#but yk maybe the pain weighs as it should. for everything i was unable to say or do. even now in my incompetency there is many loss#but. but i'll be proud of what i /have/ accomplished. and that'll be enough for now. for myself. it has to be#for once even if just solely for myself. i think being 'too kind' in a way has hurt me most of all
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visforvii · 9 months
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#resentment is building#im exhausted and for what#i do all these things and for what#if im not crocheting im cleaning if im not cleaning im crocheting#i take all of that out of my sleep and for what#i dont even sleep anymore i just nap until i need to get up#i am on the brink of collapsing from exhaustion i can feel it#my memory has been horrible i struggle to recall events#my wrist and back are starting to hurt a lot at times and its slowing me down#i cant stay asleep i feel guilt and disappointment in myself#i force myself to get up because thats the price i need to pay if i want to spend time with loved ones#im paying the tax and for what#i used to give myself shit for not doing enough and you know i still think i could do more but thats a different conversation#but i think i do equal to or more than my fair share of the chores#even when you take into consideration that my fair share is two thirds#you know that one comic of this dad taking care of his baby and this other dad is like 'babysitting'#and then the first one is like 'this is my kid it isnt babysitting if its my kid'#anyway doing the dishes isnt helping out it is just doing (less than) your fair share#i want my house to be clean and so i clean#but i guess thats my fault for having a high standard and low tolerance#i wish it wasnt me every single time#i clean the bathtub and buy nice bath stuff just so somebody else can take a bath because im out here passing out from exhaustion#im out here passing out from exhaustion making something for someone who is#lets be real kind of inconsiderate and insensitive to me right now#they did something really nice for me for my birthday and i wanted to do something in return#they deserve my love but they do not deserve my suffering#at this point im in sunk cost fallacy land but that's a conversation for a different time im too busy being bitter#im making this huge project as a message of love but i know they dont want my love so im just being a fool at this point#yet i still hope and i still dream that they will understand it for what it is and accept it and return that love#im quite possibly literally killing myself so other people can have nice things and i wish they would help or at least recognize that
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grandlinedreams · 2 months
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|| notes: because I think this trope is always hilarious and also very cute
|| warnings: the Inner Circle (Mor and Cass) being nosy, fluff, Az and reader being silly and cute, alcohol mention
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"You've been spending an awful lot of time with Azriel lately."
Looking up from the book you've been reading, you meet Mor's questioning look with one of confusion. "Is there something wrong with that?"
"No," Mor protests, "I was just wondering."
You raise an eyebrow, eyeing her. There's an edge to her tone that you're not sure that you like, as if she's trying to get you to admit to something. "He's my friend," you say slowly, "and I like spending time with my friends."
Mor hums. "That's fair," she says, then drums her fingers on the table. "Speaking of friends, we're friends, right?"
"Of course," you agree. Where is she going with this? Had you done something to make her doubt your friendship?
Mor watches you carefully, weighing her words before she says them. "And you'd tell me if you were interested in anyone, right? Romantically, I mean."
The look you give her is equal parts suspicion and befuddlement. "Probably? Mor, what is this about?"
"Nothing, nothing," she reassures you hurriedly. "Listen, we're going to Rita's tonight. As in me, Cass, Nes, and Azriel." She pauses. "I think he'd like it if you went with us."
You close your book. "I'll go," you say, and Mor beams. "But what does Az wanting me there have to do with—"
"Great!" Mor chirps, pulling away. "We'll be leaving at eight!"
And then she's gone, leaving you more bewildered than you've ever been.
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Your friends are up to something. You know that they are, considering Mor's behavior from earlier, and now their (Mor, and now Cassian) insistence that you sit next to Azriel in the booth.
"I can't pick my seat?" You ask, and Cassian shakes his head.
"Nope," he grins, and you throw Nesta a pleading look that she answers with one of quiet amusement.
"Okay..." Not that you truly mind sitting next to the spymaster, but it's made strange for the way Mor and Cassian are watching the two of you and sharing looks you're sure they think are subtle.
"[Name] looks nice," Mor prompts after a while, "right, Az?"
You blink as Azriel turns towards you, and the slow sweep of his eyes over you makes your cheeks warm more than the alcohol does.
"Yes," he says quietly, and your lips quirk when you catch his eye before you turn back towards your drink. Whatever it is that Cassian and Mor are looking for or trying to incite, you're not sure, but you don't miss the look of frustrated confusion the pair share.
Cassian rallies himself for another attempt at whatever it is they're up to, and you cut him off. "I think I'm going to head back," you say, apologetic smile tugging at your lips. "I'm tired."
Mor looks like she's going to protest, only to stop when Azriel moves to follow you when you slip from the booth. "I'll come with you."
You don't protest, but you also catch the pleased look Cassian and Mor share before you step out of Rita's. The night air is a little cooler than expected and when you shiver, Azriel steps closer. "Cold?"
"A little," you admit, and you don't protest the wrap of his arm over your shoulders, pulling you closer.
Once you're far enough away from Rita's, Azriel speaks again. "Cassian is convinced that I have feelings for you."
You look up at him, finding him watching you already, coming to a halt. "And?" You prompt, raising an eyebrow, "do you?"
Azriel's eyes gleam with amusement as he leans down, meeting the answering upward tip of your head so he can kiss you. It's sweet and familiar, and you press to make it linger a little longer before he pulls away. "I think you know the answer to that."
"I do," you grin. "How long do you think it'll take them to realize that we're already together?"
Azriel snorts. "Longer than you think, honestly." He tugs you to him, enveloping you in his arms to ward off the chill of night. "I take it that you have feelings for me too?"
You huff a laugh, pressing a kiss to his chest. "I think you know the answer to that," you answer.
Azriel's lips meet the top of your head. "I do."
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steddiealltheway · 7 months
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The upside down is colder than Steve remembers.
To be fair, he only wearing a vest, pants, and no shoes at the moment, and he may be actively bleeding out even with the bandages because of the damn bats but… he just doesn’t remember it being this cold.
He probably didn’t spend long enough in the tunnels to truly get a feel for things. But now that he’s fully here, he can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for Will.
The place is dark enough to even give Steve nightmares although he has Robin, Nancy, and Eddie at this side. How did Will survive with no one?
Steve looks down and carefully steps over a vine as he makes his way through the woods. Did Will ever step on-
“Is this a bad time to mention that I haven’t kissed anyone?”
Steve and the girls turn to Eddie, giving him looks of confusion at the random outburst.
Eddie keeps walking, staring at the ground as he tries not to activate the hive mind. “I’m just saying, it kind of feels like the end of the world here, and it makes you think. Like, do I really want to die a virgin? Not really, but dying without kissing anyone… I feel like that’s a bigger problem in my book.”
Robin and Nancy share the same look of confusion mixed with an air of why are you talking to us about this? But Steve thinks he gets the nervous rambling. He wouldn’t want to die unkissed either.
Eddie slowly stops and turns around, finally noticing that the three of them stopped when he made his first comment. He just stares at them for a moment before sighing, “Forget I said anything. I just hate walking in silence with all these thoughts of impending doom.”
With that, the girls start walking again, quickly catching up to Eddie, but Steve struggles as he thinks a little too hard about what Eddie said instead of thinking about not stepping on a vine. So he compromises speed for a very important thought.
Eddie wants to kiss someone. Probably. Definitely.
He can’t kiss Nancy because she’s with Jonathan, and Steve’s pretty sure Nancy would not be the greatest choice of a first kiss - since she would be unenthusiastic.
And Robin… well. She would be equally as unenthusiastic, probably even more so.
And really, everyone must be thinking the same thing. Because there’s one obvious solution.
“I’ll kiss you,” Steve announces as he steps over a vine. He watches as the three of them freeze in front of them, and Eddie almost even trips on a vine.
Once he catches up to them, Steve says, “It’s the clear solution to the problem.”
Robin shoots him a look of bewilderment and mouthes what??
Steve just looks away from her. It’s not a crazy thought really. Eddie wants to kiss someone before the world maybe ends, and Steve is just a really generous person who would like- enjoy- no, volunteer very very generously to help the good cause.
“You’re kidding, right?” Eddie asks.
And oh. Steve hadn’t really thought about how Eddie might not want to kiss him. Shit. He shakes his head. “I’m not kidding, but I wouldn’t do it unless you wanted to. And it’s okay that you don’t. Let’s just keep going.”
Eddie reaches out and grabs his arm. “I never said that I didn’t want to,” he says quickly.
Steve’s pretty sure he hears Robin snort at the comment, and he can sees Nancy trying to hide an amused smile behind her hand. He ignores them and puts his hands on his hips. “Alright.”
“Okay,” Eddie says.
They both stare at each other not moving.
“We’re going to give you some space,” Robin says, grabbing Nancy’s hand and pulling her deeper into the woods.
Steve doesn’t pay much attention to them as they walk away, he’s too busy staring at Eddie. And yeah, he’s a good looking guy. He knew that from high school whenever he would go on his rants, and Steve had an excuse to stare. And really the thought of kissing him is definitely not the worse and actually… he’s kind of looking forward to it, if the fast beating of his heart is any indication.
Eddie though, he looks… scared. Maybe just nervous. But his expression definitely isn’t in any way happy.
Steve takes a step toward him and softly says, “We don’t have to do this, okay? And it’s okay if you don’t want to.”
Eddie shakes his head and laughs humorlessly. “It’s not that I don’t want to it’s just… you’re Steve Harrington.”
“And?”
“And that name means something. And it shouldn’t be tangled up with my name.”
Steve raises his eyebrows at him. “I’m pretty sure we already crossed that line a while ago.”
“But you know what I mean,” Eddie sighs, looking at the ground.
Yeah, he does know what he means. But… “The world might end. I think there are stranger things than you and me kissing.”
Eddie shakes his head. “I think that would be the most shocking thing out of all of this.”
“Then get ready for me to rock your world, Munson,” Steve says with a smirk, stepping closer and brushing a curly strand of hair out of his face.
Eddie takes a deep breath and settles his hands on Steve’s waist above the wounds he’s forgotten about. “Is this… okay?”
Steve nods and wraps his arms around Eddie’s shoulders. “Yeah. Is this?”
Eddie just hums mhm, his eyes get a little wider and his cheeks flush a deeper pink.
Steve can’t help but look over Eddie’s face, taking in what he looks like at the closer proximity when he’s allowed to look. His eyes wander down to where Eddie’s full lips are slightly parted as if they’re just waiting for him to kiss them. But Steve looks back into Eddie’s dark eyes, searching for hesitation but only sending nerves and anticipation.
“I like that you’re the same height as me,” Steve randomly blurts out.
“Why’s that?”
Steve feels a blush creep up his neck. “Because my neck won’t strain when I kiss you.” Eddie laughs, and Steve decides that if the world really is coming to an end, he should be fully honest. “Plus, it’s easier to look at your eyes when they’re at my level.”
Eddie’s grin turns into a soft smile. His eyes glance down at Steve’s lips.
He knows the moment has come. “I’m going to kiss you now, if that’s okay.”
“It’s more than okay,” Eddie says, leaning in closer.
Steve smiles before closing the distance between them and kissing Eddie slowly as if they have all the time in the world. He breaks the kiss and pulls back enough to take in Eddie's expression - eyebrow raised in astonishment, lips slightly parted, and eyes still closed.
And yeah, they might not make it to tomorrow, plus Eddie looks hot. So, Steve doesn’t pull away. Instead, he kisses him again, this time with much more fervor and… yes, tongue. Sue him. He just wants to make Eddie’s first (and second) kiss memorable.
Eddie’s hands press into Steve’s back, pulling him closer as Steve slows the kiss, needing air. He pulls back and breathes in deep, staring at Eddie’s kiss swollen lips and feeling… many things.
But instead of giving into those feelings, Steve just pats Eddie on the arm and says, “See, you’re a natural.” As soon as he walks away, Steve wants one of the vines to drag him far far away so he doesn’t have to think about what he just said. Christ. He’s not smooth.
As soon as he catches up to Robin, she practically yanks him back so Eddie and Nancy can wander off out of earshot.
Steve crosses his arms and stares at her. “What?”
“Don’t ‘what’ me. You know exactly what this is about,” Robin says, jabbing a finger into his chest.
Steve winces. “Okay. Yes. I kissed Eddie. But what else was I supposed to do? Make you or Nance kiss him? No way.”
“You realize that he was just thinking out loud, right? You turned his thought into an invitation.”
Steve shrugs and walks toward the other two, trying to make sure they don’t go too far. “It sounded like an invitation to me,” he says with a shrug.
“I’m sure it did,” Robin mutters.
Steve turns to glare at her.
Robin sighs and lays a hand on his arm. “You can talk to me, you know? Even if you’re in the process of figuring things out and can’t get a true read of things.”
Steve turns and looks back at Eddie, noting how his heart beats a little faster and his body wants more than anything to get closer to him. He looks back and Robin and asks, “How obvious am I being?”
The tension in Robin’s shoulder goes away slightly at the question, and she smiles. “With the ‘you’re a natural’ comment? Totally fooled. No one would guess a thing.”
Steve’s jaw drops. “You were watching that?”
“How could I not? And do I regret it?” Robin pauses before answering her question, “A little when you started using tongue.”
“Jesus, Robin,” Steve says, trying to sound annoyed, but he can’t help but laugh.
Robin smiles and nudges him. “It seems like you have a type.”
Steve raises an eyebrow before he looks to where Robin is staring. He watches as Nancy and Eddie talk quietly about something, both sharing a small smile, amusement evident in their big round eyes, and dark, curly hair framing their faces. Maybe Robin has a point.
“Maybe I do,” Steve says as Eddie glances back at him and smiles. When he turns back, Steve asks Robin, “Do you think we could talk more about it when we’re not in an alternate dimension, and I have time to think about things?”
“Of course,” Robin says and squeezes his arm. “But for now, I’m going to give you things to think about!” she announces before running ahead to Nancy and quickly starting some type of hushed conversation.
Steve looks at where Eddie lingers behind the girls and quickly runs up to him, deciding maybe he can figure things out now. And maybe he can verbally thank him for saving his ass instead of just kissing him and hoping he gets the message.
Gosh, he doesn’t know if he can get through this without getting distracted by his lips. But he’s going to try.
(And he’s going to fail)
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help-itrappedmyself · 3 months
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Danny Punches a Clown Part 6
Masterpost
Danny, after many promises and assurances, lets Red Robin take him to the batcave. They travel by car, and as fancy as it was, Danny was almost scared to touch anything inside it. Red was a much better driver than his father though, so he just closed his eyes and focused on trying to keep his healing up.
The Batcave turned out to be an actual cave, underground, with actual bats in it. He was whisked to a medical area too quickly to see much of anything else besides some other vehicles and a giant computer set up. 
Someone was waiting in the medical space with a tray of tools and bandages ready next to the bed, Red introduced him as Agent A. They were quick to lie him down on a cot and set him up to a heart monitor and that had Red and the A frowning immediately.
“It’s a medical condition.” Danny blurted, and both pairs of eyes shot to him. “My heartrate is naturally very slow, temperature runs cold, pale skin, slow circulation so I can't have a lot of different medications." Not that any medications would really work, but better safe than sorry. Them not working would be suspicious, and Danny does not have the energy or focus for trying to keep straight any real explanations right now.  "It’s fine, I promise.”
Agent A nodded slowly. “Is there anything else we should know before we start treatment?”
“Just can't give me any medicines, I think that's the only relevant bit.”
“Alright, I will keep that in mind. Please lift your shirt so I can see the wound.”
Danny does, and they manage their expressions quite well on seeing it. Agent A goes immediately for creams and bandages.
“What burned you like that?” Red asked.
“Gun.” Danny was starting to slur. He did not want to sleep right now, with these people here.
“A gun? What kind of gun causes burns?”
“New blaster, parents made it special.”
“Your parents make guns?”
Danny shrugs, turning his head to look at Red instead of the far off ceiling of the cave. “My parents make lots of things. They're scientists, inventors." Danny waves his arm around vaguely. "The gun was new though, hadn’t been shot with that one before. The earlier versions were much less powerful.”
“Are you saying that your parents are the ones that shot you?” Red asked gently, taking a seat in the chair next to the bed. “It wasn’t just their gun that was used?”
Danny frowns. “Well yeah.”
Tim is very concerned at the tone he just used, like getting shot at by your parents was normal. “Do they shoot at you a lot?”
“Fair amount I suppose.” Red could see Danny thinking really hard about something. Dany’s head was really starting to hurt. His brain was fuzzy and he knew he should be concerned about something, but couldn’t figure out what. His parents shooting at him was nothing new, considering. “Like, they did it more than Vlad but I don’t see him as often, and they’ve done it longer than the GIW, but since the GIW has started they’ve been about equal I guess. I mean, sometimes all the defense systems in the house target me but that wasn’t technically intentional. Took forever for us to figure out how to get them to stop that.”
“Danny, when was the last time you slept?” Red asked gently.
Danny wasn’t sure if his blip earlier this morning counted. He didn’t think it lasted more than an hour, but the last time he slept before that was before his fight in Amity, escaping through the ghost zone and running around in this dimension.
“It’s been awhile.” Danny landed on. True enough for medical history he supposed.
“Right.” A finished the last of the bandages and tugged Danny’s shirt back down. “Well, why don’t you do that now, while we go and find you something to eat.”
“I’m too tired to fight food right now.”
Tim shared a look with Alfred before turning back to Danny. “Okay then. Maybe sleep first and then eat?”
“I will go start making something now that you’re all set up here Mister Danny.” Agent A states, walking past the medical curtains and shutting them behind him. Red pulled out a tablet and started tapping on it. He noticed Danny’s eyes on him after a moment.
“You going to sleep?”
“Strange place, strange people. Not sure that’s the best decision here.”
Red looked up from his tablet.
“You trusted me enough to come here. Trust me enough to sleep. I will make sure no one but me or A comes in before you’re ready.”
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blanketforcas · 10 months
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🚩Cult and cultlike/toxic behavior: red flags in fandom 🚩
A non-exhaustive list inspired by my 10+ years of experience in fandom, both personal and second-hand. By sharing this, I hope to make other people more aware and able to protect themselves in the future. No fandom space or friend group is worth your mental health.
They claim they have secret information and use that to lure you in
They might either lovebomb you at first or make you (feel like you have to) prove your worth
The leader(s) of the group might not feel super approachable, at least not without fear of saying the wrong thing
They seem to create or point out a divide in fandom you’d never noticed before. Likely this divide isn’t actually there in wider fandom, or the need for it is wholly unnecessary.
They create an us vs them (outsiders) situation. Their group has the most knowledge and expertise, if others critique them it’s simply cause they must’ve heard false rumors. They are always the ones who are “misunderstood”.
Questioning statements from leaders/people with high regard in the group, is not without risk. You can get dogpiled, your intelligence put into question and gaslit about your own words and feelings.
You see discussions happen and get more heated, and at the end of that discussion the person on the receiving end of the things mentioned above ^ starts apologizing profusely and/or believes they are indeed stupid. However, if this person does keep defending their stance, they might get bullied or kicked out of the server/group chat
Too much emphasis on Being Right/having the correct take or theory – it may seem it has a higher priority than empathy and tactful communication
You need to have an opinion (their opinion), because silence equals condoning or agreeing with the “other side”
Everything is a moral issue. When everything is made out to be a high-stakes issue or reflective of everyone as a person, it's easier for the leader(s) to manipulate you.
You find yourself excusing people’s behavior because you agree with their point. The way they bring their argument forward and the tone they use, become subordinate to finding out the truthTM
There is such a thing as The TruthTM in every theory, discussion or analysis
If you don't Get It, it's cause you haven't "worked on yourself enough". Or it's cause you're not trying hard enough, or you haven't done enough reading, or you have blind spots only they can see.
There is a lot of conspiratorial thinking – maybe actors are trying to send us secret messages, maybe there is a Whole Lot You Don’t Know But We Do, Trust Us, maybe this or that person in fandom has tried to attack us and are planning a bigger attack,…
You barely/don’t have fandom friends outside of this group and if you do, you tend to intentionally (whether subconsciously or not) hide your experience from them. They wouldn’t understand the way they talk, they wouldn’t understand the way it works etc
They want to know a lot of your personal information. - might only happen once you get into higher ranks
You might get (more and more) specific “tasks”, it starts becoming a part-time job instead of a hobby/fun space to hang out with friends
Of course, these red flags are not always immediately visible let alone advertised when you join a group chat/discord server/twitter or tumblr bubble. They can also be nonexistent at first and show up later. Here are some general ways to stay vigilant:
Periodically check in with your values, if they might be changing & how you feel about that.
Keep an eye on the way people (and yourself) are being treated. Is it kind? Is it fair? Do you feel on edge all the time when you’re having conversations? Is your body more tense when you’re in this online space or when certain people are around? Be honest with yourself here.
Ask yourself: Is this space becoming my only coping mechanism? Am I spending too much time here? There’s no shame in spending a lot of time on things you enjoy, but do check in with yourself sometimes whether you are actually still having fun and if you are taking things too seriously or parasocialising a lot.
There's a lot of fun to be had in fandom and a lot of good that comes out of it - don't forget that. Keep seeking that. It's why we're here!
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noxturnalpascal · 5 months
Text
Devotion 🖤 Masterlist
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Series Summary: When is it enough? When is it too much? When does Devotion become Obsession?
I. Stronger Together CH 1 CH 2 CH 3
II. Predator or Prey? CH 4 CH 5 CH 6 CH 7 CH 8
III. Path to the Future CH 9 CH 10 CH 11
Series Warnings: 18+ MDNI, canon-typical violence/death, death of clickers, guns, blood/injury, references to previous SAs (not described), Reader has low self worth & trauma, this group/cult is not feminist - women aren’t treated as equals, Joel has sexual relationships with other characters (not described in detail), possessiveness, manipulation, stalking/spying on, Joel gets mean, DubCon Oral, Joel gets abusive (verbally, mentally, physically (he hits, throws, and bites), thoughts of self-harm and suicide, talk of periods & pregnancy, unprotected PiV, oral sex (m & f receiving), come eating, DIRTY TALK, brief reference to breeding kink and creampie kink (but reader does NOT get pregnant in this story).
A/N: OBVIOUSLY this is canon-divergent, but it is post-outbreak. The events of outbreak day have not changed (sorry Sarah). Reader does have a developed background that plays heavily in her character arc, so in that sense she is very much an OC. Reader has a nickname and some minor physical descriptions.
LAYOUT OF JOEL'S HOUSE
AO3 LINK
*🖤*NOTES ABOUT THE CULT & JOEL BELOW*🖤*
ABOUT THE CULT
The Cult's Core Ideology
Build up a community (and supplies) to return to a thriving society that can keep people safe & find a cure.
The Cult Operates by its 3 Tenants:
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How Joel does it (what he "preaches")
I. Build Trust (We are Stronger Together)
Makes people feel beautiful, important, HEARD
Shares the wealth (food, shelter, women)
Seeks Power & Control to get others to help him
II. Us vs Them (The Predator Vs The Prey)
FEDRA is the enemy, do not trust them
Assimilate or Destroy all other people/groups
Attack them before they attack you
III. Gather & Prepare (Create a Path to the Future)
You can never have enough, always take take take take
The community you create now will determine future society (fair, honest, hardworking)
Once you are well-prepared and rebuild, you can work on finding a cure
🖤
Notes about Joel and the Cult:
He and Tess began this community together in 2010 after they met Bill and Frank and they felt that the QZ was becoming too dangerous and unstable. They settled in a small, remote town in the mountains of Vermont. Tess helps him "run" the community but she has a submissive role. (Their dynamic here is different from canon.) Tess has his respect probably more than anyone else does but she is not looked upon like an equal by anyone in the community.
Timeline/Ages:
This takes place in the fall of 2012, so It’s been 9 years since outbreak day. Joel is 45, my HC for Reader is Early 30's (Tess is 39/40). Reader's exact age isn't given, but she was in her early 20's on outbreak day and I wanted her to have experienced a fair taste of an adult life before the world ended. I didn't want to write the reader as inexperienced or with too large of an age-gap, although I think 11-14 years is still pretty significant. She has a history that plays a significant role in her personality (wary, untrusting). She has been hurt/abused by men - both those that took advantage of her when she was young, as well as by those that she trusted/loved. There are very few physical descriptions but she is very much an OC. Note that her age is not something that's explicitly mentioned because I did want to keep it inclusive. I hope everyone who wants to read this can use their imagination to fit themselves into the story in a meaningful way.🖤
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honkytonk-hangman · 8 months
Text
Big Girl
Jake Seresin x Reader
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Summary: Jake Seresin doesn't believe you should hide your light under a bushel, no.
Notes: Just a lil drabble i've been working on. I just think Jake would be the kinda guy who loves his girl to be big and loud and successful!!!!!!! ty to @roleycoleyland for being my rock the past few months holy gosh this one's for you bbyyy!!!! &lt;3
Masterlist
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“It’s a deployment, Samuel! It’s not like I have a choice!” you hiss, before closing your eyes and trying to get a hold of yourself. Afterall, it's not as though you and your boyfriend were in the comfort of your apartment. No, he’d decided to start this argument in the parking lot of the damn Hard Deck.
“Having a choice has nothing to do with it. You want to go, that's the real issue here!” Sam all but spits at you. You reel back, and throw your hands up in exasperation.
“So what if I do?! This is a big deal for me! This is a big deal for my career! I should be allowed to be excited about that!” you insist. Sam rolls his eyes at you and scoffs.
“Oh, there you go again! It’s always got to be about you and your big career, right?! Can’t let anything come before that!”
“That isn’t fair,” you lower your voice, and try to keep it from wobbling. “I have tried so hard to make sure you know you’re equally as important to me, but that was never going to work, was it?” Your voice does break a little this time, and you suck in air as you cross your arms over your chest and take a step back from him.
“You have decided from day one that you feel inferior, and you are never going to let me forget it! I have done everything to show you otherwise but you won’t let it be enough! You don’t want to change, you want me to change.” you probably shouldn’t let all of this air out in the parking lot of your favourite local bar, but you can’t stop yourself now, and the words tumble from your mouth faster than you can think things through. “I have tried to put myself in the box that makes you comfortable, but the truth is that I’m too big for it, I'm never going to stop being too big, so I’m never going to fit your stupid box!”
The two of your stare at one another for a few moments, you huffing tearily, and Sam staring at you in what looks like disgust. At last he scoffs again, and looks away from you, off toward the beach before he pulls out his car keys.
“Good luck with your big career.” he says mirthlessly, and you shut your mouth, swallowing hard as he climbs back in his car, giving you only seconds to step out of the way before he’s throwing it in reverse.
Suddenly you’re standing alone in the parking lot, blinking at the space where your probably-now-ex boyfriend just was. You don’t feel regret, exactly, but you do feel a deep sense of disappointment pulse through you. It’s not like you didn't mean everything you said, but you wonder if perhaps you might’ve said it differently.
Before you can get too far feeling sad though, a righteous kind of anger takes you over and you kick into action, stomping inside the bar and pushing through the busy crowd. When you order a straight bourbon, Penny frowns at you, and you know your eyes must be all red and glassy, but she doesn’t ask you, simply gives you her kindest smile and slides your glass towards you.
You down it quickly, and take a few deep breaths, hoping the alcohol might steel you some more, but it frustrates you to find your tears have started leaking, and you angrily wipe at them with the back of your hand.
“I don’t mean to pry…” a voice, somewhat familiar, sounds from next to you, making you turn. You’re slightly startled to find one of the pilots you’ve seen around base leaning casually against the bar. You know him to be a TOPGUN graduate, like yourself, but you’d never spoken before, let alone shared the sky. Hangman, you remember suddenly, and square your shoulders somewhat. It was coming back to you now. He had a bit of a reputation.
“I happened to arrive at the same time as you… couldn’t help but overhear all the commotion,” he speaks like he finds it all rather funny, but straightens up and clears his throat when you can’t help but look away from him, struggling to blink back tears. Dropping all pretence, he stops leaning and steps in a little closer with a frown on his face.
“Hey, I’m sorry, I wasn’t tryna’...” he trails off once more and you suck in a deep breath as you try to calm down.
Embarrassment lances through you, and you mostly just wish Hangman will leave you alone completely, but he doesn’t. Out of the corner of your eye, you see him shuffle on his feet in a manner you hadn’t been able to imagine him doing before now, and you try to get ahold of yourself.
Hangman seems to watch you for a beat before his demeanour changes up and he ducks his head down to catch your attention.
“For the record, if you hadn’t of said any of that, I might’ve,” His voice is somewhat humorous again, but this time it’s like he’s trying to make you laugh, which, caught off guard by his words, you do. You sneak a glance over at him, not feeling so intimidated anymore, and you almost laugh again to see him look so proud.
You watch as Hangman flags down Penny once more, ordering you another round and a beer as you use a napkin to blot at your face discreetly. When he looks back at you, his expression is much more intent than you’re fully comfortable with.
“Don’t you ever let some guy put you in a box, alright?” he tells you like it’s an order. It takes you a moment, but eventually you find yourself nodding at his words, not bothering to hide your surprise. The little you knew of this man was that he was prickly at most, and a complete asshole at worst, so his almost angry words in your defence take you off guard.
He stares at you until he seems satisfied you’ve heard him, and then his shoulders sag just a little and his expression softens.
“Find someone who’ll love that bigness, alright?” he says after a moment, before clearing his voice and straightening up once again as your drinks are delivered. Your cheeks want to warm in embarrassment at his referencing your little speech outside, but then he’s taking his beer with a thanks to Penny, and gesturing blindly toward you.
“Put her drinks on my tab tonight, alright?”
He doesn’t give you time to protest before he’s pushed away from the bar and disappeared into the bustling crowd of patrons.
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The next time you see Hangman, his sudden appearance is just as unexpected as the first time, and just as welcome. You’re in a bar again, of course, only this time halfway around the world and thankfully, not crying. Your squad had a limited amount of shoreleave, so you were making the most of it while you could, before you needed to be back on base in the morning.
You hear a loud cheer from somewhere by the pool tables and glance over your shoulder toward where most of the Navy personnel had gathered, but you can’t see much aside from a few new faces. You assume they must be the other squad that Roukie had mentioned were passing through, but you’re quickly distracted again by the bartender coming your way.
Just as your server begins moving away to sort out your rather large order, you feel a hand at your back, quickly followed by the materialisation of a uniformed man beside you, his massive grin and sparkling green eyes flashing as a welcomed sight to your slightly hazy mind, and you let out a gentle sound of excitement as you turn to greet him properly.
“Hangman!” you exclaim, feeling only a little funny about being so happy to see him when you don’t even know him that well. Hangman thinks little of it, his smile turning brighter, more genuine as he eases into a lean against the bar, mirroring the last time you saw him, all cool and casual confidence as he nods towards you.
“How’s my Big Girl?” he asks, eyes crinkling in the corners. You can’t help but let out a laugh, but force yourself to look away from him for a second and pray to any god listening that he can’t tell how flustered you are.
“I think this is the first time in history a man has said that to a grown woman and isn’t going to get gut punched for it.” you deflect from the barrel rolls your stomach is doing. He chortles, and settles in even closer to you, his eyes never leaving your face.
“Well?” he prods, still staring at you even as the bartender returns, and you go to pay for your round, only to have Hangman push your outstretched hand away and hand over his own card instead. “Come on now, don’t keep me waitin’,” he says with playful sternness, and your already two-drinks deep mind can’t help but give in, and you begin gushing about your deployment so far, a few of the assignments you’d gotten to do, and some of the achievements you’d earned. Hangman stays staring at you through it all even as you gesticulate wildly as you speak or describe manoeuvres, and you’re so invested in your story telling that you barely register how or when you’d both moved back over to the surrounds of the pool table, where you assume Hangman had circulated the round you’d (he’d) bought all the while still listening to you talk.
You must be four or five drinks down when you at last come to a stop, giggling a small amount at the tail end of your last story. The sun has well and truly set now and you’re crammed in one side of a sticky pleather booth, Hangman on the other. You realise then, that you must have been talking for over an hour, probably much more.
“I’m sorry, that was so much!” you say, bashfully ducking your head a little. Hangman cocks his head at you, a wry smile pulling at his lips as he watches you fiddle with your drinks coaster.
“I know what I asked for.” he tells you with an assuredness you can’t question, and even as you glance away from him to catch yourself, his attention remains on you. You have to blame your four or five, maybe six drinks for the next words out of your mouth.
“You know, I don’t think you’re an asshole at all,” you declare, face growing hot when Hangman lets out a surprised, but amused bark of laughter, but doesn’t question your statement.
“Oh, is that right?” he asks instead, leaning forward like he’s very much intrigued by this assertion. “What am I then?”
You think he’s teasing you, but again, you can’t really help what comes out of you, and you draw your arm up onto the table to rest your head in your palm, and blink back at him slowly.
“Pretty, for the most part.” you tell him, trying to suppress a sudden yawn. Hangman's laugh is less boisterous this time, more of a chuckle really, and you find that your blinking has slowed even more, longer pauses between closing your eyes and opening them.
When you startle back awake some seconds later, you think you might’ve just fallen asleep, but you see that Hangman is watching you softly again, and you can’t help but smile as your eyes flitter shut once again. Warm hands guide you to your feet moments, maybe hours later, but when you pull back at the grasping, a soft shushing joined by a gentle voice lulls you back into sleep.
“Alright, Big Girl lets get you home.”
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Note
hcs for all the castlevania boys (trevor, issac, hector, alucard, dracula, godbrand, the judge, varney, ratko & st. germain- i think that's all of them lol) caring for s/o reader on their period. can be modern times or past times whichever u prefer. 💖
A/N: I wish more people would be less disgusted and more understanding when it comes to menstruation. There are still so many myths circulating about it, I’m shocked sometimes. One time a guy on Twitter said he thought women got periods because they evolved to eat meat. And I was like…. Excuse you?? Lol. Anyway, on to the HCs!
Sorry, some are short. I wanted to do longer to make it fair but there were like TEN characters mentioned and my max is supposed to be SIX so some are taking a far back seat. 
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TW: Blood, Period Mention (still w/ GN Reader)
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Castlevania Boys Helping S/O GN!Reader with Their Period: 🩸
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Trevor: 
Is surprisingly resourceful, given the man was a wandering drunk when you first met him.
Not so much in a kind about-it way, he’s very sarcastic and so over the whole thing right after it starts.
But he did have a large family once so he remembers what his sisters and mother went through.
Will cut off strips of his cape for you to use, but expects you to take care of any sort of ‘mess’, he’s pre-occupied cleaning whatever latest monster’s guts off himself anyway
Buys a whiskey but lets YOU drink most of it to help with the cramps (and for him this is the ultimate sign he loves you lol).
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Alucard: 
Is unexpectedly awkward for someone whose mother was a doctor.
He’s very knowledgeable but unsure of how to broach the subject, sort of giving you instructions on what to do (as if you made it to the age you did without knowing??).  
And of course, the castle has everything you could need, and if it doesn’t, he won’t hesitate to travel to get it for you. Although he does insist you stay in while he retrieves it.
If you’ve been together for a while, offers to help clean you up in equal parts removed curiosity and bewitched hunger (although he’s comparatively embarrassed about that later part).
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Hector: 
Not phased at all. The man’s used to sticking his hands into corpses, why would menstrual blood be an issue?
Isn’t super knowledgeable about it, he’s been alone focusing solely on his needs for so many years, and this was never one of them. But he does try and learn now that he has you.
He sends his most trustworthy night creatures and reanimated pets to go hunting for the herbs and wild medicines you use. On the other hand, Hector orders the more domesticated pets to stay and cuddle/play with you. 
On the days you’re curled up in a ball in bed, he offers to read some of the books he’s been writing as he knows you find his voice very soothing. 
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Isaac: 
Fascinated by human psychology and biology from an earlier age, so he’s moderately educated on the subject. 
Blood does not scare him, but he does understand the societal stigma around sharing such a natural cycle with him.
Like Hector, he sends out his night creatures to fetch you whatever you need. 
Ensure you drink enough tea and water to stay hydrated. Also asks that you eat plenty of red meat to help replace some of the iron you’ve lost.
Is one of the few men that requests you stay as active as you can, limiting rather than stopping your regular activities. Movement and keeping your mind occupied should make the days pass much faster, as Issac is a firm believer that self-discipline is one of the most powerful tools of all. 
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Godbrand: 
Not grossed out, but ends up grossing YOU out with his enthusiasm about the whole thing
Will of course offer to go down there himself and ‘take care of matters like a man’ - his words, not yours. 
What? For Godbrand, being with a living, breathing, and most importantly, bleeding human are the perks of your relationship. It’s like having a partner and a constant food source all in one!
Will absolutely curse out if not straight-up attack any other vampire who dares to bitch about your mood swings or irritable behavior. And then once you’re out of earshot, he will proceed to bitch about said mood swings and irritable behavior. What? At least he’s gentlemanly enough not to do it to your face.  
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Dracula: 
The most caring and respectful king fr
He is super understanding and educated on the subject. In fairness, he’s probably curated half of the books on menstruation within his vast libraries. 
Has the necessary products on hand- strips of cloth, herbs for cramping and pain, teas, and a medieval-era heating pad of his own invention. 
Like Godbrand, offers to pleasure you down there to help relieve some cramps with the help of an orgasm, although he’s much more romantic and poetic when he suggests such a thing to you. And unlike Godbrand, he’s in it solely for your benefit. The idea that he’d get to feed as well is the farthest thing on his mind. 
Literally the most perfect and doting husband to ever walk the face of this earth oh my god.
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The Judge: 
Expects you to handle it yourself lol. 
Don’t ask him for advice or aid. If you must seek out assistance, he directs you to another woman or midwife within the town.
Considers it highly inappropriate to discuss such matters, even if you’re together. 
0/10, not very helpful, would not recommend. 
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Saint Germain
Knows a decent amount of what to expect and how to aid you should you request it. 
He’s well-educated and very well-traveled, so he’s encountered quite a few different cultural views of menstruation. 
Does, however, expect you to take care of the more messy parts of it.
He will offer you back rubs or make tea, but aside from him being aware of your current condition, he doesn’t change the way he treats you much at all. 
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Sala:
Gets high key disgusting with it
Asks if you can gather all your bloody rags in a big bowl so he can perform some satanic ritual with it. (You’re like… Um, no??? Unless you’re cray-cray too, which, if you’re with him, has a fair chance of ringing true.) 
Will tell everyone else in the monastery about it cuz he’s a freak like that.
Keeps reminding you how in your current state, you would be a perfect sacrifice for the Great Lord Dracula… Ya know, because of the blood thing?
Subtly is NOT his strong suit
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Varney: 
The entity also known as Death knows your cycle better than you do lol.
Keeps a mental calendar in his head, and starts peppering you with more kisses than usual a few days before your bleeding starts. 
Just really wants to get on your good side. And wants you to recall in the coming days, how sweet he was to you, so you know, you don’t take all your anger and frustration out on him. 
Very little scares him, he is Death after all. But aside from people not dying and Belmont giving him another go, your mood swings on your period scare the hell out of him. 
He’s not a patient man, and by day seven, Varney feels rather demoralized after being encumbered by his partner’s common human condition. 
Begs Ratko for help. Is promptly told to piss off. 
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Ratko: 
Doesn’t react, except to tell you that you smell so much better this way. 
He delivers that line in such a deadpan too, you almost misunderstand what he’s talking about.
Admits that he’d be willing to ‘clean you up’, should you find that arousing.
Regards you the same, but does find himself staying closer to you than normal, for fear the other vampires and night creatures around you will find your scent so enticing and try to take what’s his.
Challenges anyone who looks your way longer than five seconds. Partly as a means to protect his claim over you, but mainly because he rather enjoys the combat practice.
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madameminor · 2 months
Text
In More Ways Than One, Part 10 - Bad Batch x F!Reader - Crossed
Summary: You just want to restock the ship - but Crosshair has other plans.
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Tags: (the series is) 18+ smutty mcsmutterson, porn with plot, basically, all the good stuff
Warnings: P in V sex, 'ownership' mentioned, rough sex (hand on throat, some throwing around), squirting, sensual sex, use of pet names. Top! then soft Crosshair.
Notes: I hope you all enjoy :). People have been asking after this chapter for awhile, which brings me SO MUCH HAPPY! Please share the happy by reblogging. (For real, if you love it enough to ask for more, my dears, please reblog. It brings me such joy - don't you want to bring me joy?? 😭)
Word Count:
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 3.5 Part 4 Part 4.5 Part 5 Part 5.5 Part 6 Part 6.5 Part 7 Part 8 Part 8.5 Part 9 Part 9.5 Part 10
“That didn’t count!!!”
Crosshair smirks around his toothpick. “A pin is a pin, Wrecker,” he drawls, continuing down the corridor with you and the big guy in tow.
“But she was WIGGLING.” Wrecker pouts as he follows, wiping some of the sweat from his brow. You smile mischievously, a little extra flounce in your step as you walk.
“You heard him, babe, a pin is a pin. And I’ve been holding back that tactic for ages.”
Wrecker shoots you a look before looking forward again, moving to avoid two oncoming troopers. “Well that’s not fair.”
You laugh. “I’m really just doing you a favor. What if some sexy clanker has you pinned and starts doing the same thing? You'll be so unprepared!”
Wrecker’s eyes open in surprise. “Do they make those??”
“You never know, those Seppies are sly.” You raise your eyebrows suggestively. He goes back to pouting, realizing you're joking.
“Hm.”
You laugh, circling your arms behind his neck and kissing him on the nose. "Sorry, honey," you coo, not bothering to hide your enjoyment. "I won't do it again."
"Hm. You better not," he grumbles as you slide back down.
"Speak for yourself," Crosshair says quietly to himself. You wink at him, then stretch your arms over your head with a contented sigh.
“Oof that shower is going to feel good,” you breathe, rolling your neck. “I think I'll head to the ship, use the fresher there."
Crosshair's eyes dart to yours, irritated.
“What for?” Wrecker asks, equally let down.
"Because three of us need a shower- and I actually need to get clean.” You smile at Wrecker’s crestfallen face. “Besides, I need to take stock of our supplies - since now I know where ALL THAT GAUZE WENT.” Wrecker grins, recovered in light of their combined mischief. Crosshair just smirks. You playfully turn on your heal, starting to head down the corridor towards the ship with a wave. “Don't miss me too much, ok?”
"We'll try!" Wrecker calls after you. He starts back to their barracks - then stops, realizing that Crosshair isn’t following him. 
“You comin’?” 
Crosshair turns his body, eyes staring for a moment at your receding form before fully turning to follow his brother, a glint in his eye.
“I’m showering first.”
Wrecker looks over at him, confused. “Why, you got somewhere to be?”
“No.” Crosshair smirks, approaching the door to their quarters. “I have something to do.”
Wrecker's brow furrows as the barrack door opens before him. “What?”
Crosshair looks at him out of the corner of his eye as he enters, making his way towards the fresher.
“Let's call it some… unfinished business.”
—---------------------------------------------------------------------------
You sigh contentedly as you step under the hot water for a last rinse. the final suds disappearing down the drain. Clean. Well and truly clean, even for just five minutes.
These moments are sacred. Peace, calm, relaxation. It can happen so rarely as a soldier - especially surrounded by a bunch of large, smelly boys. And battle. And sex.
...
...and then your brain pulls you to the chore waiting outside the fresher walls.
Dammit. Moment over.
Well, the sooner it's done, the sooner you can stop worrying about it. You turn off the water, dry and wrap yourself in a towel, then head to the medical supplies storage unit, already reviewing the list in your head.
You sift through your stores methodically. Hm.
You needed more adhesive spray (dammit, Tech was CONSTANTLY stealing yours!!!! That fucking...)
Good on grav press bandage cuffs…
Good on Medical bandage patch…
Need plenty more Bacta patches - need more glue stat…
Laser suture- where the heck was the laser suture? Did kriffing Tech take the fucking LASER SUTURE???? (You were going to KILL HIM! SADISTICALLY! FOR SCIENCE!!)
And gauze. Lots and lots of gauze. Fucking Hunter. These boys. What were you going to do with these boys getting into your damn med supplies?! Give them a hefty helping of Queenly whoop ass, that's for damn sure-
You hear the hatch start to open behind you, crankily curious to see who was coming aboard… maybe Tech had heard about what you were doing and was coming to give back the fucking laser suture, hoping you would spare his fucking life-
You see Crosshair's silver hair before you see the rest of him, dressed in his armor, but freshly washed. He closes the hatch, tossing his helmet onto a cockpit chair as he makes his way to you. 
You turn, fists on your hips and a scowl on your lips. “You had better be coming to give me some life or death information right n-"
He bends and lifts you by the back of your legs, slamming you against the bulkhead, your towel falling to the floor. Arousal spikes through your shock - god you love when he manhandles you. (He knows you like it, too- dammit, why did you ever tell him that?) His eyes glue you in place with their amusement, his slithering voice wrapping around you like a coil.
"Hello, princess."
You feel your breath catch at the sudden pulse in your pussy. Fuck, that smirk looks dangerous...
"You owe me.”
Wait, what?
“The hell I do! You remember I'm here to replace gauze, don't you?”
“No," he drawls. Damn that smug glint of satisfaction making you wet. Jerk. "You started something the last time we were on this ship.”  Oh, his voice is caressing your skin, possessive and inarguable. "its time you learn to finish what you start."
Crap, more coming back to haunt you. You sputter, trying to find the words to save you. “Cross, that was DAYS ago-”
“I have a long memory.”
“-and, it was only to tease you, which I already paid for-”
You hear the click of his codpiece before it falls to the floor. 
“W-wait, Cross-” you mean to protest, but the words come out as a breathy moan.
“A promise is a promise, Princess.” He purrs, freeing himself from his under armor, eyes hungry and dangerous. You lose yourself to shivers as you feel his cock hard against your back. “And I’m tired of waiting.”
His voice darkens, sending the shivers lower, tightening the possessive coil it holds over you. "And since this is the second time you've riled me up on this ship, I'm going to take you the way I want to. Do you understand, Princess?"
You whine a greedy ascent as he lines himself up with your entrance.
He leans in, purring in your ear. “Safeword?”
“Meiloorun,” you whine, giving in, desperate for him. “Green.”
“Good girl.”
You gasp a cry as he slams into you, sheathing himself in one lengthy stroke. His head falls back as he sighs a grunt, letting himself enjoy the tightness of your slick, unprepared walls.
“FUCK.” He swears before lifting his head, a smug glint in his eye. “That’s better.”
You feel his grip tighten on your ass cheeks as he leans in close to your ear. ‘Hold on tight, princess.’
You whimper, arms wrapping around his shoulders, surrendering, already on the verge of begging him to take you like this-
He pulls out and slams into you so hard you swear you feel the ship rock. 
You cry out with near-painful pleasure, hoping that somehow they don’t hear you outside of this ship - you can’t imagine the looks from the hanger clones if they hear Crosshair forcing his pleasure into you, ripping your begging cries for mercy yet for more from your lips while he grunts his pleasured staccato in your ear. 
“Too big, Crosshair, you’re too b-big for me right now!”
“You can take it Princess. I - FUCK - I know you can.” His breath quickens, nose buried behind your ear, short groans announcing his oncoming orgasm.
"KARKing hell, so tight, I'm already going to-"
Without warning, he groans a growl as he cums, pulling out to spill on the bulkhead behind you. You feel his thrusts, his cock sheathing between your ass cheeks to help him ride it out. You catch your breath as he pants into your neck, until he lifts his head with smug satisfaction. You look at him with your best pitiful eyes, hoping to lessen your sentence, praying that it doesn't.
“S-Satisfied?”
He smirks through his panting. “Hm. That was just to take the edge off.”
Shit.
He turns, still holding you up, before benching you onto his bunk and ripping off his armor. He pulls himself up behind you, crowding you against the bulkhead that serves as a headboard, pinning you there with a hot, hungry kiss. 
Dammit all to hell, all of this is making you so wet, and he must know it. 
With no finesse, no patience, he slides down your body, diving into your pussy like he hasn’t had a drink in weeks, laying waste to every curve and fold. He is RAVENOUS, like he would win the fucking war if he could just make you cum. Its completely overwhelming. You cry out in huffs, you can’t help it, brain barely catching up to the pleasure being sucked through you. “Crosshair, c-crosshair, holy fuck oh GOD.”
It almost hurts with his insistence, but his ferocity only makes you wetter, his ownership of everything you have to give like a fire in your cunt.
Two fingers slide inside of you, pulsing in and out of you at a rapid pace, rubbing against your G spot like he’s trying to beat a record, the lewd sound of your slick as he fucks you making you croon. His mouth sucks your clit hard enough to send your eyes back into your head, hands tangling in his hair. 
“Uh, uh, NNCrosshair! I’m- its too much- its going to make me-”
Its like you’ve lost all control - he’s going so fast that you can’t keep up, your body completely at his whim, so hot, so high; your mind can only lay scattered while your body reaches its peak.
“Ah, aH, Cross, Crosshair!” 
Your cum with an unabashed scream, letting go of any control of your pleasure - and you feel more wet than you’re used to squirt out onto the sheets, soaking your thighs with sticky wet warmth.
“OH shit oh god, Crosshair, I-I think you made me-”
“Kriffing right I did.” His eyes glint with that smug, hungry look again. He pulls your hips towards him, leaning over you to prop himself against the bulkhead, lining himself up with your entrance. “That pleasure belongs to me.”
He pushes into your sopping hole, making you cry out with overwhelm and need, still sensitive from your orgasm, but desperate for another one.
His hand clasps around your throat, tightening slightly as he starts to thrust. You whimper as you look up into his eyes, dazed, subdued, submissive, just for him. He’s panting, eyes boring down into yours. 
“That’s right, Princess, I’m taking what's mine. Your pleasure belongs to me.”
He grits his teeth as he sets a relentless pace, fucking you like it would save his life. You can only lay back, full with sensation, boneless, euphoric, feeling your breasts bouncing to the rhythm of his skin slapping against yours. 
Your voice comes out as a whimper. “Yes, Cross, yes, god you’re so big, please don’t stop, please let me squirt all over your cock.”
OH his GROWL as his hand tightens around your throat, not to choke you, just to make you blurry, remind you who’s mercy you’re at. 
“That’s right, my little cockwhore. You love me taking you like this, taking your pleasure all for my own, don’t you?”
You squeak from beneath his hand, his words sending you towards your climax, walls squeezing around him.
He pinches your clit, making you cry out and look back up at him.
His eyes are serious, daring you to disobey. “I didn’t tell you to cum yet. You’ll do it when I tell you. I’m in control here, not you.”
“Y-yes sir. I- AH!” He changes his angle, making you cry out as he thrusts deeper. His breath is more labored. Kriff he’s getting close, so close to giving you all his cum. You want to be so good for him… his good little cockwhore.
“Are you ready to take my cum, Princess?” He demands, already knowing your answer as he speeds up, his thumb finding your clit.
“Y-yes sir, all of it, please, dump all of it in me!” You whimper, your mind lost, spewing whatever comes to mind, whatever he wants to hear, so long as he keeps making you feel like this…
You both cum together with a cry, his a growl, yours a shriek. He grunts with each thrust as he empties himself into you, pushing inside you as far as he goes. He lets you ride out your wave on his cock, his hands flying to either side of your head to prop himself up as he pants in release. He eventually slows, looking down at you, satisfied, approving.
"That's my good girl. Taking my cock so well," he purrs, the thumb around your neck tracing your jaw line as he leans in to kiss you.
"Anything for you, Crosshair" you breathe, unthinking- and meaning it.
Everything seems to slow around you, the two of you breathing together while you come down from your play. He...something in his eyes changes while he pants down at you. Your words... he's taking in your words. You see... that openness from when he let himself cum down your throat, that... click.
You feel the energy change between you.
And slowly, so slowly, he leans in and kisses you.
Its totally different from how he was before. His kiss is slow, possessive, tender - the hand around your neck comes up to cradle your cheek. He lowers his body to yours, propped up by his elbow, bringing him skin to heated skin.
An ember glows in your belly, his kiss slowly feeding it as it glows hotter, and hotter. Your tongue flicks against his lips. He opens them to meet you, his tongue pushing in to dance with yours in his own. Fuck. You can taste his desire, his yearning, as it feeds your burning ember into a flame, flaring with yearning, hunger, need. Your hands find your way into his hair, eager to be close, to touch him more, more, to meld with him, join with him like only lovers can. And you NEED it.
You feel him firming up inside you again as he starts thrusting, as if he can’t help himself. You moan under him, growing desperate, frantic for more of him. You can't pull your lips away, getting swept up in the need to be close, to be closer than close, to have him inside of you as far as he'll go.
“Princess…” he breathes, barely pulling away, his thumb tracing your cheek bone while he moves in you. “Missed this pussy. Missed having you cum all over my face. Missed…” He pulls you into a kiss again, his lips saying what his words can’t.
Your fingers tighten in his hair to pull him closer, and he groans into your mouth.
His hips move, but he’s not aiming for the finish line anymore. He pulls away from your lips to look down at where he’s entering you with long strokes, taking his time, his breath ragged. You both watch where he thrusts into you, joins with you, makes sweet fucking love to you the way he wants to. You both moan at the sight. Then he looks up, his forehead back to yours.
“Crosshair…” Your voice is breathy, so full of this feeling he’s bringing to you, sensually taking you one stroke at a time.
His own voice is quiet, caressing you like the hand on your face. “Kriff. So good, Princess. You always feel so damn good. You taste so sweet, I'm so hungry for you all the damn time...”
He buries his face in your shoulder, breath touching sound as he pants his pleasure. His pelvis rubs along your clit, his body so close to yours, your arms clutching him, nails digging into his back while he continues thrusting you into the mattress with long, hard thrusts, pushing cry after cry from your lips. His breathy moans make you clench around him, trying to take him in farther, just a little bit farther.
You feel your crest approaching, slow, but steady - and overwhelming.
"Cross, I’m so close." You could cry with how good it feels.
"Fuck, mesh’la, yes." His own voice is breathy, lost in sensation, desperate with desire. "Need to feel you cum on my cock again. Cum around me, just for me."
"Cross, Cross, Cross," you pant, tears falling back into your hair.
"That’s right, cum with me, precious. Cum with me again. Don't stop, don't hold back. Let me watch you cum for me."
He’s up, forehead to yours, rocking and grinding you right where you need it to send you over. 
You breathe, moan together for a few more moments, connected, devoted, while you both soar up and over the edge.
He kisses you as you cum together, the two of you swallowing each others desperate moans as your lips meet again and again, bodies convulsing against each other as he releases into you, your walls squeezing him for every last drop he has to give.
You kiss until you’re both starving for breath, and only barely manage to pull away. You meet his eyes. They're open, assured, sincere, speaking volumes without saying anything, before his head falls to your neck, slowly kissing his way to your shoulder and resting his head on your collarbone, panting out his exertion. 
Then, amid his panting, quieter than a pin drop, so quiet you almost miss it, you hear him breathe out:
“Ah, cyar’ika. My cyar'ika."
!...
“...Hmm?” You turn, nuzzling into his hair, hoping beyond hope he'll repeat it.
“…nothing, Princess.” He leans up and kisses your forehead slowly, tenderly. He slowly pulls out with a combined groan from each of you. He lays beside you, pulling you close to him, his face nuzzling into the top of your head. You hold him tight, nuzzling in turn against his chest with a secret, sated smile.
You understand. You know what he said with his kisses, his body, but it's not ready to be said aloud, not ready to become a part of your relationship. And that's alright. You drift off to sleep, breathing in his scent as your body molds to his.
Its not time yet.
And you can wait.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
You wake up slowly, unsure if its been hours or minutes, but still swimming in the bliss of your earlier experience. You slowly look up to find Crosshair still asleep, deep breathing guiding the unguarded moment.
He's beautiful.
Peace looks so good on him. You gently brush your fingers along his cheek, taking in this unguarded moment that so few get to see. But you do. Because he's yours. Your Crosshair, your sniper, who craves the touch and comfort you give him, even if he's too proud - or is it unsure? - to ask for it by name.
For now.
You smile to yourself, eyes tracing along his unknit brows. He's yours. And you vow then and there - you'll take good care of this trust he's given to no one else but you.
.....
Jeez, were you going to get more sappy than this?-
-The quiet of the ship is interrupted by your com's insistent beeping. Crosshair’s eyes open quickly, peace falling from his face as he’s instantly alert. You sigh to yourself, rolling over to jump off of the bunk - the outside world calls. You check the transmission before answering with a smile.
"Yes Tech darling?"
“Have you been locked inside the Marauder? Do you need rescuing?” His matter-of-fact-yet-irritated voice makes your smile wider.
“No, just… fulfilling a promise.” You chuckle, glancing up at Crosshair. He rolls his eyes and falls back onto the bunk.
“I see," Tech admonishes. You can practically see him adjusting his goggles. "Need I remind you that it is also time for your next inoculation? They are asking for you at the med bay.”
Ah, shoot. You had forgotten that, and you were the damn medic. You hit your forehead, hand sliding down your face with embarrassment. Ok yeah, that one is on you.
"Also," Tech continues, still a hint of lecture in his voice, "the Commander has been looking for you. He is hoping that you will join him for the next meal. I would quickly compose yourself and seek him out. You wouldn't want him believing the... rumors going around, would you?”
"Alright, alright, I understand." Your head falls back with a sigh. You glance over at your unfinished storage count, wondering if you should take the time to finish your checkli-
Wait just a damn minute.
He wanted to play 'you did this wrong'?
Alright. You'll play.
"Oh!" You start brightly, as if remembering something. "By the way, Technically Jangoson," you continue into the com, words dripping with honeyed venom. "I have a small teensy, tiny question just for you."
Silence.
A throat cleared at the other end. "...Yes, my queen?" The full name. Oh, he knows he's in trouble.
Good.
Your voice turns harsh, your tone angry, and your Queenly control is fully back in place.
"Where.
The FUCK.
Is my laser suture?!?!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
What up, tag list?
@ladykatakuri @ben-is-a-hoe @klay97 @kaitou2417 @dumfanting @kuromisheart @koifish08 @echo-is-worth-more-than-2000 @badbatch-simp24 @pointy-sharp @rainytears2 @gabile18 @nedxwynert @chopper-witch @nexxxxxxxxx @nightscissor @corona-one @babypandasugar22 @pumpkinkpatch @oohyesplease @princessclaire2 @just-a-shit-ton-of-trama @badbatch-simp24 @foreverhockeytrash @unholy-t-rin-ity @reeny26 @smurderous @xxeiraxx @discarded-beskar @just-an-anxious-ball-of-flesh @mybigfatspoonielife @whore4rex @andyoufollowyourheart @lokigirlszendaya @captain-splock-you @darkangel4121
@gluwu @stormweather99 @redpool @mysanityleaving @alwayssnivellus @chickentenderx @scioness-7 @moniicarlo @nekotaetae @cjoftheriver @ladykagewaki @charlie-boo @blueink-bluesoul  @vithepotato @aconstructofamind @pb-jellybeans @burningfieldof-clover @thegirlwholovedblackholes
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shirefantasies · 3 months
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The Hobbits With a F!Human Crush
Definitely not the last of this concept you’ll see from me 😉 Tagging @possibly-in-wonderland along with my usual list @kilibaggins @fuckyoumakeart @lokilover476 | let me know if you wanna join!
Frodo
✧ You serve as a living, breathing symbol of his curiosity, his desire for knowledge and exploration, something new that he wants so badly it all but takes the breath from him.
✧ The way you fall in love with Bag End, unbothered, no, charmed, by the quaint yet elegant hobbit hole as your eyes light up has Frodo’s heart doing somersaults. “You like it?” “Like it? Why, Frodo, you are as lucky as anyone! I wish I lived here!” He’s a bit too shy to say it, but a little voice peeking from the corners of Frodo’s mind says that that could be arranged.
✧ You’ve been places he could only dream of, and he wants to hear every story, enraptured with a hand upon his chin and blue eyes wide at your every word.
✧ Whenever you bend down to whisper in his ear, his entire mind shuts down and a smile creeps across his lips like you’ve never seen before.
✧ Flushes brightly when you pull him protectively against your chest, but enjoys the dangerous race of his heart at your hand upon him more than he would have thought possible.
✧ And when you first kiss him, giving him that gentle but still quite strong tug up into your lips at his confession and tangling your fingers in his dark hair, it's like his chest is about to explode.
Sam
✧ A bit down on yourself thinking someone like you wouldn’t like someone like him, at least not like that.
✧ Regardless, it changes not his kindness and devotion towards you. Despite your size difference, Sam is the one to step forward between you and danger, throwing an arm across from you and not registering or sharing in your amusement until the threat is neutralized.
✧ His heart practically slammed out of his chest when he told you about all the rabbits in the Shire, including one couple he’d seen where the male was with a much larger female. “That’s so cute,” you’d remarked, a hand idly brushing his arm as it lowered, “I love that.” Sam could hardly speak for the next minute or so.
✧ You asked him once if people remind him of flowers or if that's just you, and without even thinking Sam said sunflowers. Not only because of their height, he replies with a blush after you tease him, but the way they bring joy to all who see them and everybody wants them around.
✧ Trips over his words when you focus your gaze down upon him, suddenly feeling warm beneath the intent stare.
✧ And when you take his hand, looking him right in the eyes again as you tell him just how much he means to you, why he snaps completely, pulling up to his full height to connect your lips.
Merry
✧ He takes you, quite frankly, as a challenge- not one given in scorn, but as the rush of the latest charge or act of mischief, the exhilaration of risking oneself for moments of the greatest good.
✧ Bold as he is, Merry isn't afraid to let you know how beautiful he thinks you are, calling you fair and strong and every compliment in the book to cheer you up and bolster your courage.
✧ Attempts to prove himself to you thrill him, too, the way you take him on as an equal to spar and spend your time teaching him. The way you let him overtake you, standing over you with triumph and giving a smirk that runs a shiver down his spine.
✧ He goes to you first for things; in his eyes you can do anything and he trusts you to take his concerns seriously. It could be something small like a question or repair or a a heavier matter like a deep discussion, but whatever it is it will be with you.
✧ Makes up the occasional tall tale about his prowess back home, making himself out to be quite the hero or his home a far more fantastical place. Just to see what you believe. Even though you giggle at his mock-heroic deeds and teasingly debunk his tales, you make it clear in your treatment of him that you do believe he can do anything.
✧ Shock blooms across your face and thrums in your heart at the wince cutting Merry’s face when he accidentally confesses his feelings to you, but it is quickly overtaken by a smile as you cup his face in your hands to return his affection and then some.
Pippin
✧ Nothing can tear him from your side, not a word of concern from others, not a single hardship- when his mind is made up, it is made and that is that.
✧ Enjoys climbing up on things or into trees to get to your eye level, leaning closer while he has the opportunity to all but brush noses.
✧ Makes jokes about you having a longer reach or about "back when you were my size", for he is well aware and comfortable with the height difference. Insurmountable as it could be to you, there is no point in denying it and having some fun with it. After all, as much as he is always trying to assist you, he can use your added height as an excuse to ask for help, too!
✧ Unabashedly checks you out, his eyes sliding to you in nearly any moment of idleness; sometimes they are glances of awe, others pure pleasure at your form.
✧ Tells you again and again all the places he’s going to take you: the Green Dragon, a run through Farmer Maggot’s fields, Sam’s garden if he lets you, all at such insistence that the Shire is the greatest place upon the earth that you cannot help believing him and longing for it almost as much as he.
✧ Knowing that he is lost, he is happy simply to love you no matter what, but few times in your life will you see Pippin’s face as alight as the moment between you returning his feelings and the deep first kiss you share.
Bilbo
✧ Now you, my dear, are an adventure. Nothing he ever planned for, imagined, expected, and yet here you are on his proverbial doorstep. With a gulp and a shy smile he takes you in, eyes sliding upward along your form.
✧ Never has he felt this way before and certainly never with a daughter of men, so you'll find his gaze upon you often, studying you almost.
✧ Definitely tries to wow you with his studies of the different cultures of men- with varying success depending on from which region you hail. You cannot help but be charmed at all of Bilbo’s attempts to make you feel at home even in the middle of nowhere.
✧ You will feel like you’ve seen Bag End and met all of Bilbo’s ridiculous relatives with all the stories he shares both silly and beautiful. “I can see why you wish to return,” you tell him, to which he just beams up at you, a new shine in his eyes.
✧ Gets flustered at the ways in which you move to his level, leaning slinkily against a large rock or down further still upon a log to look up at him and meet his gaze with a smile.
✧ All he asks is if you have any interest in settling down, but you cannot help risking things at the sight of Bilbo’s nerves, tentatively answering that you’d love to settle in the Shire and feeling your heart soar at his grin of relief. Unusual, certainly, but then again that is perfect for Bilbo Baggins, is it not?
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straykeedz · 7 months
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day 21: han + sex tape
©straykeedz
tw: female anatomy; sexting is implied; masturbation (f); oral (m receiving); unprotected piv sex (don’t do this at home 🤨); dirty talk; choking if you squint; creampie; ♡
wc: 2,4k;
okay this is like 1% plot and 99% porn lol
this is part of my kinktober masterlist. you can find my regular masterlist here (tho it will not be updated until the end of kinktober) ♡
🔖 (open): @linos-kitten ; @luneskies ; @kxcies-blog ; @idunnomanmynamewastaken ; @cessixja ; @stolasisyourparent ; @kookiesbunny ; @xoxo-xoxo-bunny ; @ivyskzsworld ; @mal-lunar-28 ; @leetaste ; @sunnykynnie ; @channiesgoodgirl ; @seonghwatoothless ; @mrsminho ; @seungminluv3 ; @jin-from-the-block ; @aaasia111 ; @sulkygyu ; @whosanaanyway ; @y-ur--I ; @vixensss ; @nightimescapes ; @freckleboilix ; @dreamingaboutjisung ; @yourbeomiebear ; ♡
to make sure i add you to the taglist, your age must be clearly visible on your profile. also, empty blogs will not be added - add at least a profile picture to your blog so that i’ll know you’re not a bot. ♡
smut below the cut, minors dni
📹
“Take off your panties for me, sweetheart?”
Jisung speaks, his phone camera pointed right between your legs on your clothed pussy, a black piece of cotton covering it, Jisung’s favorite. Whenever he sees you wearing them, even if it’s just a glimpse he gets from underneath his t-shirt that you wear around the house, he gets instantly hard. To be fair, though, he gets hard whenever he’s around you, it doesn’t matter what you’re - or not - wearing. 
You hook your fingers on the hems of your ridiculously expensive panties, then slide them down your thighs, revealing your bare cunt to Jisung’s eyes. He lets out a gasp, then helps you get rid of them. He rests his palm on your knee, still holding his phone in his other hand. 
“Touch yourself for me, please?”, he whines. 
You smirk, you love seeing him so desperate for you, so pussydrunk. 
That’s why you’re currently on your shared bed, laying flat on the mattress, completely naked - because he just can’t get enough of your pussy. He needs it - needs you all the time, and he struggles whenever he’s forced to be away from you. That’s the whole point of today, that’s why he’s recording such an intimate moment through his phone camera - he can’t bear the thought of not seeing your naked body for two whole months. 
Sure, you could video chat or maybe have phone sex, but you both know it won’t be possible all the time since he’ll literally be on the other side of the world. So you came up with an idea, an idea Jisung instantly loved and agreed on. How could he not? He gets to have sex with you, record it while it happens and he’ll be able to re-watch it whenever he wants? Sounded like music to his ears. 
You bring three fingers to your mouth and lick them, making sure they’re lubricated and wet enough before you bring them on your clit and start to rub slow circles under Jisung’s stare. He bites his lip as he watches you touch yourself - so differently than how he touches you, fast and impatiently, but equally pleasuring. 
“Mhhh, you like it, sweetheart? You like touching yourself for me?”, he sucks in a breath when he sees you spread your lips to show him how wet you are. “Oh. I think you do like it.”, he chuckles, cheeks flustered as he brings his phone closer to get a better focus on your intimate parts. 
“Spread those lips for me, let me see how wet is your pussy, baby.”
You bite your lower lip, turned on by the whole thing - Jisung standing between your legs wearing nothing but his boxers, looking absolutely fucked out even though you’re just getting started, phone in his shaking hand as he bites his lip. 
You do as he asked, using your wet fingers to delicately part your labia, showing him how your arousal is spread all around your hole - he nearly chokes on air. To be honest, right now he wants nothing more than to pull his boxers down and sink in your aching pussy and get lost in the feeling of fucking his cock into you - but at the same time he wants this to last as much as possible. 
“You want me to put a finger inside?”, you purr. 
“Yes, baby, please?”, it comes out more like a question. You slowly ease a finger inside of you, burying it deep until your walls swallow it whole to your knuckle. “Fuck, sweetheart, another.”, he begs.
You shake your head and chuckle. “You’re so impatient.”, you tease him. “I haven’t even started touching myself yet.”, you point out.
“I know, baby, but you’re so fucking hot.”, he whines. “I can’t get enough of you, you know that.”
“Mhh, I know.”, you mumble, circling your entrance with another finger, before slipping it in with a moan, arching your back. Jisung’s arms are shaking so bad the video he’s recording is blurred for a couple of seconds. 
“Feels good?”
“Mh-hm.”, you nod. “Not as good as your fingers or your cock, tho.”, you purr, enjoying seeing him squirm and hold back a moan as he palms himself over his boxers. 
“Make yourself cum for me, sweetheart. Then I’ll give you my cock, promise.” Jisung says, staring into your eyes. 
The offer does sound tempting, so you decide to not be a brat for once and actually grant him his wish, slowly starting to move your fingers inside of you. It feels different than when Jisung does it - your fingers aren’t as long and thick as his, and they don’t reach all your sweet spots as easily. You’re gonna miss those fingers while he’s away - fuck, you’re gonna miss all of him. 
“Like that, baby, fuck yourself like that. Show me how you do it.”, he encourages you. 
You close your eyes and kick your head back, shoving your fingers deeper as you desperately try to get yourself off as fast as possible - you want him inside of you, not your stupid fingers. Meanwhile, he slips his free hand under the waistband of his boxers, stroking his cock slowly - if he does it too quickly, he’s probably gonna cum. 
“‘M close…”, you whimper, trying your best to let your fingers hit the same spot again and again, feeling your orgasm approaching. “Gonna cum.”, you whine. 
“Cum for me, sweetheart.”
You cum around your fingers, suppressing a moan by biting on the back of your hand as your legs shake and your whole body trembles, and fuck - Jisung really can’t believe he’s recording all of this. 
“Show me, baby. Show me your fingers, show me how much you’ve cum for me.”, there’s eagerness in his tone, but you can’t blame him. You’re eager too, you can’t wait to feel him, to touch him, to scratch and bite his skin, to cum again - this time, around him. 
You pull out your fingers from inside of you, and then wave them in front of the camera, showing him how they glisten, covered in your release. And Jisung can’t physically restrain himself from instantly getting closer to you, grabbing you by the wrist and shove your wet fingers into his mouth, getting a taste of you. He hums, swirling his hot tongue around your digits, and he can’t help but think of how much he’s going to miss this - tasting you - once he leaves. A sex tape can’t really help him with that… 
“Want your cock now…”, you speak softly, sitting on the mattress, his phone camera practically shoved in your face as you slip your fingers under the waistband of his boxers and finally slide them down his legs, letting them pool on his ankles, freeing his rock hard cock. 
Jisung isn’t mentally prepared for how you wrap your lips around his cockhead, but once more - he’s grateful he’s recording all of this, because you look so fucking hot with your mouth stuffed. Soft hums and muffled sounds leave his mouth as you take him deeper in your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you suck around his length. 
“You’re so good at this, sweetheart, fuck.”, he licks his lips as he watch you bobbing your head up and down his cock without gagging. “You always suck me off so well.”, he compliments you, running one hand through your hair. 
But after a couple of seconds, he has to pull you away from his cock, too close to cumming already. You whine in protest. “I want to cum inside of you tonight, sweetheart.”, he explains, caressing your temple with the pad of his thumb. “Don’t you want it too?”
You nod eagerly. You want it - fuck, you want it so bad. “Good girl, now lay down on the bed for me.”
You position yourself on the bed as he requested, already spreading your legs because you know it’s how he likes it - he loves to see your face as he fucks you into oblivion. He wants to see the faces you make, wants to see how your feature scrunch up in pleasure as he thrusts hard inside of you, he wants to be able to shove his fingers in your mouth when you’re being too loud. 
He doesn’t stop recording - that’s the whole point of tonight. In fact, he positions his phone on his nightstand on a tripod - the tripod he usually uses for when he records his vlogs. He quickly checks if the angle’s right and the lights are okay before climbing on the bed, hovering over your body. 
“You’re gonna let me fuck you like a good girl tonight, aren’t you?”, he bites his lip, deep brown eyes staring into yours. “You’re gonna let me take this pussy how I want it?”, he cups your heat with his hand and sucks in a breath when he feels how wet you are. Only for him. 
You nod, licking your lips. “You can do whatever you want to me, you know that.”, you whisper, caressing his cheek with your cold finger, which sends a shiver down his spine. 
“Fuck, sweetheart, you drive me crazy.”, he captures your lips in a kiss before pulling away. He wraps his fingers around his cock, then aligns it with your entrance. “Gonna put it in now. Think you can take it in one go?”
You hum. “I can, Ji. ‘M so wet for you.” 
Your eyes roll in the back of your skull as he pushes inside, thick cock parting your walls deliciously as he sinks in your heat - and you were right, you can take him in one go, because he bottoms out easily, burying himself deep inside of you. 
“There you go, sweetheart. Took me so well.”, he kisses you on the lips. 
“I always do.”
He chuckles, shaking his head. “You’re right, you always do.”, he pulls out just a couple of inches before pushing back inside, thrusting tentatively inside of you. “You’re such a good girl, taking my big cock in one go.”, he hooks his arm under one of your legs, spreading your thighs even wider, which allows him to go deeper. “Letting me take you like this, knowing I’m recording us fucking.”
“Ji.”, you moan. 
“Yeah that’s right, say my name.”, he grunts, hips snapping harder until wet, slapping sounds fill your bedroom. “Let the whole neighbourhood know who’s fucking you so well.”
“You.”, you moan. 
“A-And what’s my name, sweetheart?”, he pants. 
“Ji-“ a particularly hard thrust inside of you cuts you off “-sung.”, you let out a loud cry as he continues to fuck you hard, pounding into you relentlessly. 
He chuckles when he sees you turn your head to face his phone, still recording, on the nightstand, and his gaze follows yours, staring right into the camera. “You like it, huh?”, he smirks. “You like the thought of being recorded when I’m fucking you hard, yeah?”
You nod, then dig your fingernails in the flesh of his ass when he starts thrusting in a perfect angle, hitting your g-spot perfectly. “I do. Fuck, we should’ve done this sooner.”, you pant. 
He grins from ear to ear. “Ah, my perfect sweetheart.”, he wraps his fingers around your throat, although he doesn’t squeeze it. “Letting me take her like this… all spread for me, letting me pound her pussy so good…”, you can feel your wetness drip onto the mattress - the bedsheets must be soaked by now. 
“Fuck, Ji, don’t stop.”, you let out a high-pitched sound when his cockhead kisses your g-spot, and you throw your head back in the cushions, Jisung’s hand still wrapped around your throat. 
“Mhh, not thinking about it, sweetheart. Wanna feel you cum around my cock. And then we’ll do it again, mh? You gonna let me take this pussy again?”, he pants, his dark hair sticking on his sweaty forehead as his thrusts become unsteady. 
“Yes, fuck- gonna let you take it whenever you want, however you want.” You’re so, so close. 
“That’s right. I’m the owner of this pussy, aren’t I?”
“You are.”, you pant, legs shaking, toes already curling. So close. 
“And what’s my name, sweetheart? Say it as you cum for me.”, he demands.
“Jisung!”, you cum with a loud moan, clenching around his cock as you finish, coating his length, balls and bed in your orgasm. 
“Oh, fuck, I’m gonna cum. Fuck, fuck-“ Jisung pants, but he’s cut off by his own orgasm. He grunts as he comes inside of you, rutting his hips against yours as your tight walls milk him. 
He lets go of your leg, knowing you’re probably feeling sore, and pulls away his fingers from your throat as his body collapses on yours. When he feels his cock starting to become limp, he’s quick to reach for his phone. You think he’s about to end the recording, but he kneels between your legs instead, and points his camera on your pussy. 
“Wanna watch my cum drip out of you, you’re gonna let me?”, he asks, looking you in the eye. 
You nod, and he slowly pulls out of you. A choked sound leaves his throat when he sees his seed, mixed with your release, drip out of your hole, ending up on the bedsheets. 
“Fuck, push it out, sweetheart. Wanna see it drip from your pretty hole.”, he brings his other hand on your pussy, delicately spreading your labia with two fingers, and bites his lip when you push his cum out of you. “There’s so much of it, sweetheart. I’ve cum so hard…”, he comments, coating his thumb in your mixed fluids. 
Then, he brings it to your lips, and nearly faints when he sees you wrapping your lips around his digit, licking it clean and swallowing your mixed releases. He presses the ‘end recording’ button, then throws his phone on the bed, next to you - not without saving the video and moving it into a private folder, the same folder in which he keeps all of your nudes and naughty videos you’ve sent him. 
Then, he lets his body fall on the bed next to you and pulls you closer, letting you rest your head on his naked chest. He places a kiss on your head as he runs his fingers through your hair. 
“Round two in the shower?”, you break the silence. 
He bites his lip, smiling like an idiot. He nods eagerly, and you get up from the bed. 
“Oh, and bring your phone.”, you smirk, disappearing into the bathroom. 
📹
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womenaremypriority · 1 month
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Headless Women Art in the Sims 4
This has little to do with the actual game, so this should be understandable to anyone!  I wanted to share this.  
If you don’t know what ‘headless women art’ is, it refers to a trend in which women are depicted without heads in art and decorations.  This disproportionately affects women and the excuse is generally that it is body-positive, but the feminist argument is that is dehumanizing and normalizes women as unthinking objects.  Here are some examples via @thatsonemorbidcorvid :
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Now she has many examples in drawings and paintings, but in my collection, I sticked to objects- which I find more creepy, less defensible, with less male counterparts.  
In the Sims 4, you can build houses.  You can create and download custom objects for your game, and you can download houses which have these custom objects.  I’m not sure about the actual, official game, but when you download custom, fan-made content- this stuff is EVERYWHERE. Recently, I’ve been obsessing over looking at different buildings people have made for the game, but I got so tired of seeing this type of art that I started to collect it.  I have counted examples of men vs women.  Using the same standard of what counts as headless art, I found 22 men and 117 women- still a considerable amount of men, but as a trend heavily geared towards women.  There were a few that are debatable, usually because it was unclear whether male or female.  There were some that I debated counting because while technically having a face, they still felt as if they could count- but to keep it simple, I didn’t. When it comes to headless people in art such a paintings and drawings, I found it to be pretty equal, and didn’t count any towards the count.  I noticed that women are usually more sexualized in general art such as this, however.  For fairness, I will add that busts and sculptures that were just heads, it appeared to be mostly men, which could be argued is also dehumanizing/ornamentive.  However, for the most part, these men were given expressions and a face.  And when it came to full-body sculptures, it appeared equal as well.   Anyways, behold… headless women art.
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There are a bunch of duplicates in my count, the same objects used multiple times.  I found about ~18 unique headless women and about ~7 unique men- it’s a bit hard to tell the exact number though.  For the men, 3 of the 7 showed up only once, 3 showed up two times, and the other object made up all the other appearances of headless men.  
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Notice how similar the in-game objects look like the actual ones- I think some of them might be modeled after real-life art too.
Now, here are some the men.
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9/22 times a man appears, a woman does, as well.  Either because they are placed together, or because they are part of the same object, like in the second photo above.
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Out of the 7 headless male pieces, at least 3 looked less like they were intended to be placed in a house as-is and more like very old objects, such as the one below. But to be fair, these only showed up a couple times. I considered not adding to the main count ones were museum objects or in art workshops, things that may not be finished or “complete” but did so anyway. There were a couple of those for male and female. Here is one such.
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Here is one that I wasn’t sure about including or not.
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This photo is a bit blurry, and I couldn’t in good conscience count it- maybe most people would, as it’s a humanoid shape more female in appearance than male, but the quality isn’t good and there’s enough room for doubt. I wanted to be sure I was fair. There’s a bunch of tinier things next to it that could also be headless art but are even harder to make out.
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These figures appear to be breasts, but again, room for doubt. I’m honestly not sure the intention, but if you want to add them to the count, it appeared 6 times.
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These weird legs showed up twice. Honestly, they’re very close to being counted.
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Now, this does show a bit of face, but since it’s still somewhat covered and degrading in nature, I considered adding it. It showed up thrice The problem is that I don’t think I saved photos whenever I saw similar things for men, and so can’t accurately count. To be clear, I don’t think I saw anything for men that was the same as this or similar, but there were some that had only half a face. Here is one example that was next to a headless women.
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There is the male-looking face with plants coming out of it, which I saw quite a few times. There were a couple like that for women, but the question is, if I count the lamp women, do I count this? The main difference is he has eyes, and most of his head is there, giving him individuality, so can’t really be classified as headless. I can’t count these, but I can say there wasn’t really an equivalent for men other than the weird object I showed before with a man and a woman, that could be interpreted as a lamp I suppose.
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There’s also whatever this is supposed to be, which I saw twice. A less obsessive person would probably count it, I didn’t. At first I thought it had breasts, but it might be eyes. I will also note that I saw plenty of headless mannequins and silhouettes, virtually all coded female, but didn’t count those. Here’s some other… interesting things.
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Does she have a head? Yes. But is this objectifying? Also yes. And again, there were plenty of male fall-body statues, as well as female, but those were dignifying and artistic in nature. But among these types of high-art, modern objects like this, where you have to wonder the point, all I remember are female. They all appear in an unnatural manner. There are a few male-looking heads as well, however-
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Here’s what I would consider the closest alternative for men. You can even see the second photo has much of their face missing, as much as the women with the lamp head! Is this as dehumanizing? You decide. There were a few statues of women that were just heads, but none as big and not as many that had missing pieces like this.
None of this is in the final count, but it’s something I found interesting to think about. The last 3 pictures were all made by the same person, but I’ve seen stuff like this used in buildings from other people. I didn’t save everything like this, so I can’t compare or count how many appeared, this was just a couple I remember. Anyways, that’s it! I thought it was super crazy. When I decided to start counting, I thought it would take a while to find any headless women art but it didn’t, at all. Most of what I have screenshots of is the more realistic style of building, because that’s what I prefer, but near the end I started looking more into styles that match the original games graphics. There was probably a higher ratio of men to women when compared to the other style, but still more women in general. This is a plague for real.
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desiderio-dixon · 1 month
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Darkest Before the Dawn
Chapter 7 : I'd Rather Go Blind
Pairing : Daryl Dixon x f!reader (endgame), (unrequited) Glenn Rhee x f!reader
Series summary : When Glenn Rhee comes into your life, you become convinced he's a guardian angel sent by your late best friend. You think he's your soulmate. But then he falls for the farmer's daughter, and you find that your own angel may be a little more blatant than expected; wings and all.
Chapter summary : Leaving the CDC in the rearview mirror, the group faces further obstacles: A misunderstanding arises between the reader and Daryl, Sophia goes missing, tensions build between reader and Shane, Carl gets shot, and Glenn begins the heartbreak saga.
Chapter warnings : uhhh jealousy, heartbreak, misunderstandings, illusions to sex, shane being a creep, sophia goes missing, grief, lmk if I missed anything! <33
Word count : 2.8k
A/N : OKAY SO THIS ONE TOOK FOREVERRR I'm so sorry!! To be fair though, something super serious happened to a family member of mine so my life has just been absolute chaos the last couple weeks. BUT TRUST ME THAT I DIDNT ABANDON THIS FIC!!! Love u guys! (also there may or may not be a Dean spicy fic on the way to all those who voted yes to that poll I made hehe)
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The next morning, you woke to a knock on your door. Groggy and hungover, you wrapped your naked body in blankets and stumbled to the door. You opened it to find Glenn, his head hung low and eyes sunken. He was equally, perhaps more, hungover. He made no effort to greet you, just groaned at you and pushed past into your room. He flopped himself down on your bed, face in the pillows. You sighed, leaving the door open and moving to sit on the bed, still only in a puddle of blankets.
"My head is gonna explode." Glenn cries out. You hum tiredly. Outside of the room you can hear everyone waking, wandering out of their rooms. Part of you wants to kick Glenn out and fall back into sleep. But you don't. You two sit quietly for a few minutes, you're certain Glenn has fallen asleep.
And then, there's a crinkle in your doorway. You look over, surprised to see Daryl. He stands, fully dressed and ready for the day, with a waterbottle clutched in his hand. He'd brought it for you, you knew that somehow. But you watched his gaze rake over your bare shoulders, and the onto the figure laid in your bed. He doesn't say anything, and neither do you. For some reason you feel like you've been caught doing something you shouldn't. He crouches down, setting the waterbottle in your doorway. And then he's turning, leaving.
The CDC is a blur after that. A blur of confusion, panic, anger. Screams and explosions. And an overwhelming loss. Jacqui died, Jenner and the sanctuary you thought you'd found went with her.
You'd never seen something explode like that. What was once there, simply wasn't anymore. No longer an impressive and futuristic building, but a mess of fire and ash. It shook everything. The ground, the air, even your insides felt like they were vibrating within you.
You weren't even sure whose car you'd piled into, simply just eager for cover, but you'd realized too late that it was Daryl's truck, and this was going to be an awkward ride. Though, neither of you said a word. Not about the drunken conversation you'd shared, or him seemingly finding you and Glenn in bed together. There's an air of shock that only silence seems appropriate for. Still, when the caravan stops due to the RV hose again, you break it. Digging into your back pocket, you produce the crumpled pack of cigarettes. "Here, I, uh, found them. Figured you'd like them." Daryl grunts, slapping his hand over yours to grab the pack. Nothing else is said, so you both climb out.
The traffic build up seems to go on forever, cars for as long as you can see. Everyone drifts off into groups to scavenge through the cars. You end up by yourself, sorting through a mini van. The sight of the empty toddler car seat brings a sense of dread washing over your body. You try to shake it off. Surely there's a chance the baby lived, just moved on to another place.
You find a box on the floor, overflowing with clothes. Winter will come quicker than you think, so you begin to rifle through, looking for anything thick and comfortable. Instead, you find a pretty dress. A sundress, with wildflowers printed all over and a dipped neckline. You're not sure that it's something you'd have worn before, but something calls you to it. It's exactly your size. Something tells you to take it, even if it's not exactly practical. So you shove it into your bag.
Then you hear Glenn's laugh, an excited and relieved laugh. You decide you need a little joy in your life, so you seek him out. There, you find him and Shane, drenching themselves with water off a truck. "You guys not gonna share?" You tease. Glenn ushers you forward to stand under a spout, then he releases the cap. You squeal at the sensation, water soaking through your clothes. Your eyes are closed, enjoying the cooling sensation when a hand wraps around your wrist, yanking you to the floor.
You smell them first, the horde of dead stumbling through the traffic jam. You roll under the truck with Glenn and Shane, making panicked eye contact with each of them back and forth. Then you hear them, groaning and shuffling. And finally, you see their feet as they move past. Most of their shoes are muddied and falling apart, ankle skin falling off the bone like good barbecue. When it's finally passed, your heart shatters.
Where you expected silence, you found the cries of a distressed mother. Carol, screaming after Sophia. You crawl out just in time to watch Rick run after her, Lori holding a sobbing Carol.
You want to pull her into a hug, hold her sorrow in your hands to take it off her shoulders. But you're soaking wet, and you're sure she doesn't need a cold on top of everything. You settle instead for a hand on her shoulder, telling her a gentle, "Rick will bring her back." You're not sure you believe it. You have faith in Rick, though you're not sure about Sophia. She's a smart girl, sweet like sugar, and you adore her. It's just that a scared adult is unpredictable, let alone a scared child. Still, you want to hope.
It's only a few minutes, maybe ten. Rick emerges from the forest and you wait with bated breath for Sophia to trail after him--but she doesn't. Carol's sob sends a lightning bolt right through your heart.
Rick gathers a few people up to go look for her: Glenn, Shane and Daryl. While they gather up their things, you stand with Glenn. You feel eyes on you, heavy in their gaze. Turning, you find who'd been staring at you. Shane. He meets your eyes, and something about it turns your stomach. His eyes are dark, and he doesn't look away. You break the eye contact yourself, looking to your shoes.
"You okay?" Glenn asks. You hum, nodding your head. But truthfully, you can't shake the feeling of unease that has washed over you.
Then, just as everyone is geared up to leave, Daryl trots up to you. He tosses something at you. You catch it, unfolding it to reveal a flannel shirt. "Cover up a bit, huh?" He says, looking at you before his eyes flick to Shane. For a moment, you're confused. Then, you look down to your shirt--your soaked, white shirt that has now turned see-through. Your ears burn with a sudden rush of blood, and you hurry to throw on the flannel he gave you. It has the sleeves cut off, because of course it does. It looks ridiculous on you, you're sure, but it works well enough.
You stand, dumbfounded for a bit while the group pushes forward. Another one of Carol's sobs throws you out of your daze.
She stands, hands covering her mouth as sobs pour openly out of it, leaning against Lori. Lori has tears of her own streaming her cheeks, but she stares coldly ahead at the treeline her husband disappeared into. Although the sight of them squeezes your chest, it's the sight behind them that hammers the final nail into your heart.
Carl, a few feet behind his mother, looking sorrowful with tears of his own silently falling, but a determination in his eyes unlike any you'd seen. You walk to him, grazing your hand over Carol's arm gently as you pass. When you reach Carl, you pull him into a hug. His arms wrap weakly around you as you crouch, and he lets out a sob into your chest. "They'll find her. And if they don't--me and you will." You whisper to him, squeezing him tight.
It's not long before Shane and Glenn return. Glenn looks solemn, which quickly gives away that their leads aren't solid. Shane barks orders immediately upon return to search and move cars. You rifle through more cars, coming up mostly empty time after time. After an hour, you produced three items. A leather jacket, thick; good for winter and to stop bites. A box of granola bars, unfortunately your least favorite flavor. And an unopened limited edition Barbie.
The Barbie came from a car with no sign of children, and given how old it is, you assume it's someone's antique. You feel better taking it, given you don't think you're stealing from a dead child. It'll be nice for Sophia, you think. It's the exact thing you'd have loved as a girl. Big, poofy white dress with black polka dots and heaps of frill. A classic red lip and a pair of cute little heels. She's absolutely fabulous. You tuck her carefully into your bag, making sure to not dent the box.
As you weave through the cars to find your next hidden treasure, you spy Lori and Shane. The tension is thick in the air as they whisper-yell back and forth to each other. It's not hard to piece together the contents, despite you not being able to hear them. Surely it's about what once was between them, and what never can be now with Rick's return. Still, the sight sends bolts of unease through your spine. Especially with the way Shane slams his fist against a cars hood, fire burning behind his dark eyes.
You enter some beat down sedan, crawling into the drivers seat and letting your head drop down to the steering wheel. 'Please let Rick and Daryl come back safe with Sophia.' You think to yourself. You're beyond anxious, chest feeling as though a pile of rocks sit in your lungs. Moving on from this stupid highway with your group intact would be the greatest gift.
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It's almost dark now, though the humidity still weighs down the air, thick and heavy. A thin sheen of sweat collects over your skin as you sit and wait. "Oh, God. They're back." Glenn says. Your heart leaps to your throat. Rick comes first, then Daryl, then... Nothing. No Sophia. Just as quick as your heart rose, it sank to your feet like an anvil.
"You didn't find her?" Carol squeaks, sounding small like a scared child.
Rick shakes his head, guilt written in the way his lips draw tight and his eyes drop to the floor. "Her trail went cold. We'll pick it up again at first light." You knew they didn't find her, but even so, the confirmation feels like a hammer bashing into your heart.
"You can't leave my daughter out there on her own to spend the night alone in the woods." Carol cries desperately.
Daryl glances to you, then the floor. Shaking his head, he responds. "Out in the dark's no good. We'd just be trippin' over ourselves. More people get lost." You know he's right. He's smart with these things, a natural. But you also know hearing this hurts Carol. Truthfully, it hurts you too. A part of you wants to stray from the group right now, tear the forrest apart until your hands are bloodied to find Sophia and bring her home to her mother.
But Daryl's right--so you stay.
The next morning is early, sun barely up. Dew slides over the morning grass, tickling your ankles as you all trudge through the forest. The air is damp and crickets chirp around you. It reminds you of early wakings during your school days as a child. Up before the sun so you could drown your stomach with sugary cereal before the bus called your name. It's nostalgic in such a bitter way. Sophia will never get that again, whether you find her or not.
The only two that hadn't come on the search were Dale and T-dog. Dale, to fix up the RV, and T-dog to rest. He'd landed himself a nasty gash on his arm during the herds passing. You're thankful Daryl was there.
Everyone else in the group, even including little Carl were gathered around you. Daryl, Shane, and Rick mainly led the charge-- but everyone was equal in effort of looking for signs. You'd lost count already how many times you'd crouched to inspect the dirt, trying your hardest to search for small shoeprints.
The search had been null, up until you found a campsite. Carol had called out, and you all held your breath in anticipation. When nothing came, Daryl investigated. Nothing but a man who'd been dead for a long while.
Now, you stare at Daryl. He's disappointed, maybe even frustrated. You guess he must feel pressure, feel that it's on him to do the tracking and finding. Your feet seem to move on their own, stalking towards him on shaky feet. He doesn't notice you coming, doesn't look up from his boots. But still, you reach a hand out, just mere moments away from touching his bare bicep--until the bells ring.
You freeze, catching Daryl's eyes immediately as he shoots up. And then, as if reality had snapped back into motion, you all run.
The church is a grim scene, the pews loaded with rotting corpses, staring lifelessly at the cross. When you swing the doors, they groan, turning and shuffling loudly across the wooden floors. The smell is overpowering. The air is thick with rot, moist and sickening.
It's fitting. Fitting to the soulless feeling of tearing through walker after walker, only to at the end be met with nothing but a pile of corpses; no Sophia in sight. Carol prays in front of the statue of Jesus, and you can't judge her for turning to faith in a time like this, but something about it turns your stomach.
How could a God allow a mother to be without her child? Suddenly, the air in the church feels like it's no longer air at all. You feel suffocated. You rush out, hand covering your mouth as a nauseous feeling rises. Falling to your knees in the grass, you huff breath after breath of fresh air. When will the constant loss end?
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It's only a couple hours later when you're trudging through the forest, chatting with Glenn absentmindedly as Daryl leads your group back to the highway. And then, like a flash of lightning, a woman appears. The heavy thudding of her horse's hooves matches the rapid beating of your heart, and then she's yelling. Yelling that Carl has been shot. Then, you feel as if your heart stops at the same time the horse skids to a halt. He's stable, she says, but it's still a weight you're not sure you can handle.
You want to cry, to collapse, to give up. You want to curl into someone and share in your sorrow. When you turn to Glenn, your stomach swirls in sickness at his expression. Well, perhaps not the expression alone, but that the expression isn't being sent to you.
There, frozen in place, he stands. Awestruck eyes gazing up at the woman on the horse, jaw open. Your eyes fly between the two of them, time moving in slow motion. You can't even blame him. She's beautiful. Big, green eyes wide in urgency, tan skin slick with sweat, shining in the sunlight.
You can't blame him--but it hurts so bad.
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