#i used to have irls in middle school/high school that were into fanfic and so i'd talk to them all the time

[quaranmine]

your mom reads your fanfiction? that's awesome! what else does she say about it?

Well, she's read this one! She hasn't ever read any other fanfiction before either but I've explained the concept to her. It's also the only piece of fiction writing she's read by me since I was probably in 7th grade or so. She knew I could write based on the essays and articles I've written. Like, I've had her help me edit my college papers before and she went with me in high school when I competed at state for timed essay writing. But she had ZERO exposure to whether I could write fiction or not!

I left her some notes at the beginning of the story to explain a few things, like how yes the names are weird but she'll get used to them. (I pointed out that she loved Cold Storage by David Koepp, which has a character who is called "Teacake" the entire time.) She is also reading it slower than she probably would've read other books, because I recommended she open up the document on her laptop. At 218 pages, the google doc lags HARD on your phone.

She told me that once I used the word "rack" to describe Grian hanging up the phone in its place, and that wasn't what it was called, but she blanked on the correct word to describe it. (Cradle? Just 'holder'?)

She already knows the end of the story, but she still thinks it's very irrational for Grian to assume Mumbo is alive. She too has a lot of experience going hiking and doing outdoor activites, as well as a big true crime obsession, so she's well versed with the odds of missing people being alive after such a long time. So she think it's Painfully obvious that Grian is wrong, but she also understands the way I've set up his grief and is very sympathetic to it.

She's delighted with the part where Scar desribes Jellie to calm Grian down. She also highlighted several descriptions I've done and said that she loved the way I described the mountains and nature. She said it was very beautiful. She has learned a lot about fire lookouts and finds all my details interesting. She likes Scar best because she knows a lot more about him from me talking about him over the years—I guess I tend to talk about Scar more than Grian because I watch his streams more and showed her pictures of Jellie.

She's also calling it "my book" :D

[eoieopda]

meet me at the bar (ksj)

You're supposed to be staring down the barrel of the last — and most important — examination of your life, but you only have eyes for your study buddy.

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x AFAB!Reader Type: One Shot | Fluff w/ Smut | 18+ — Minors DNI Word Count: 7.5k AU: Law school, study-buddies, best friends to lovers, highly educated idiots in love CW: Bad jokes, Latin, fingering (v), unprotected sex (p in v), Seokjinnie hits it from the back. A/N: My inaugural Seokjin smut is dedicated to my donsaeng-in-law (see what I did there?) @yoongiphoria, who is now embarking on this stupid, stupid gatekeeping journey IRL. Best of luck, my lil love. I'll be waiting for you on the other side of the war! MJ FIGHTING ~ Big ups to my other lil love, M, for beta reading 💕 I posted an epilogue drabble on 7/26/23. Also: This is written based on my experience in the American legal (educational) system. I was, frankly, too lazy to study up on South Korean law for a fanfic, lol. ⚠️ 18+ only ⚠️ minors will be blocked, on sight. my content is not for you. i do not want to interact with you. please respect my boundaries.

You are not spiraling.

You are a paragon of health and wellness, you tell yourself as you gulp down a mug of coffee that is still far too hot, like you’ll die without it. 

More bitter than the taste on your tongue is the realization that you might die with it —  your third cup in fewer hours. As far as you can tell, though, it’s a win-win situation: You’ll either generate enough anxious energy to finalize your property law flashcards, or you’ll drop dead before you have to review them.

And you won’t have to take that exam…

And you won’t have to pay off your student debt…

Besides, you figure, the stomach ulcer you’re likely inflicting on yourself will be infinitely less painful than dragging your under-caffeinated corpse through yet another day of studying. Another eight, consecutive hours spent forcing forgotten subjects back into your maxed-out brain. 

It’s worth it, you repeat to yourself, though this gauntlet has turned out to be a full-time job that steals, rather than pays. You can faint on top of the finish line, so long as some part of you crosses it.

You should be used to it by now, running a marathon at a dead sprint. That’s all you’ve ever done — push yourself. You attended your first day of preschool and never stopped, never took a breath. Through elementary, middle, and high school; then for four years of university. Going, going, going.

Stumbling through that eighteenth lap around the track, you kept going because — well, being a student was all you’d ever been. That’s your toxic trait, you’ve since discovered. Your concept of self is rooted exclusively within the context of a classroom.

You didn’t know it at the time, but your decision to take the Law School Admission Test — or the HellSAT, as you’ve come to call it — might have been the start of a quarter-life crisis. But you didn’t stop there. No, you took that score and ran with it. Slapped it onto every application as a desperate plea for acceptance. 

When you received your admission letter, you were a bright-eyed twenty-two-year-old with a bachelor’s degree and a vaguely defined dream.

Call it naïveté or call it gravitas, there wasn’t a doubt in your smooth little brain that law school was the logical next step to take. That being intelligent and hard-working made you well-equipped for the challenge that came with pursuing a Juris Doctor. After all, you’d spent nineteen years delaying gratification — what difference would three more make?

Within the first hour of your orientation, you — a professional student — had already learned something new: You were a masochist and, frankly, somewhat of an idiot.

Thankfully, you weren’t alone. 

Sitting — dissociating, more like — at a nearby table was a lanky boy you’d first noticed on your tour of the law building. His glassy-eyed stare was aimed somewhere in the middle-distance, and even though his slightly agape mouth said nothing, it communicated everything. He was the only other person in that atrium who looked the way you felt: scared shitless and riddled with buyer’s remorse. A can crushed under the boot of self-doubt.

It was the first time you and your wobbly knees went running in his direction, but it wouldn’t be the last.

He was so deep in a daze at that moment that he didn’t notice the way you threw yourself into the open chair next to him, didn’t look up at the scrape of wooden legs against the granite floor beneath them. He nearly jumped out of his skin when you announced your presence with words, however. 

It was less of an introduction — the way people in a society tend to greet each other for the first time, ever — and more of a twister. Words whipped through the air at a dangerously high velocity, no syllable ending before you started on the next. Just one breath, a few consonants, and a pair of dark eyebrows shooting up to cower behind his bangs. 

“Was — was that Korean?” He asked when you finally ran out of wind. 

Judging by the way his wide eyes softened, you knew he wasn’t making fun of you. You’d simply scrambled his brain so thoroughly that you’d transcended the known limits of language.

More of a question than an answer, you peeped, “I think so. Maybe?” You wavered with a sigh. “I’m no longer confident that I know any of the things I thought I knew, though. So, um, don’t quote me on that.”

“You’re giving me too much credit. I didn’t catch enough of whatever that was —” He gestured vaguely. “— To even attempt to quote you.”

Within seconds and without knowing, he’d disarmed the bomb ticking away in your gut. He must’ve sensed it, too, because his face lit up so completely that you had to look away. One glance at the floor-to-ceiling windows confirmed that the sun hadn’t reappeared at that time of night. 

That rush of warmth you felt then  — that absolutely insane brightness — was powered exclusively by the grin taking up the entirety of his face. If that megawatt smile alone hadn’t rerouted your oncoming anxiety attack, the distinct, squeaking laugh that erupted out of his chest would’ve done the job. 

You doubled over, either under the weight of your own giggling or with the relief you felt in finding someone equally lost. Eyes swimming with mirth, you wiped wetness from your cheekbone and snorted. “Was that a windshield wiper?”  

“No, that was embarrassing.” 

The tips of his ears and the apples of his cheeks went some dizzy shade of pink. 

He rubbed sheepishly at the back of his neck with one hand and held the other out to shake yours.

“And I’m Kim Seokjin.”

Now, when the door of your apartment flies open without warning, it’s that same savior standing on your threshold. That designation may be melodramatic, but if that brown paper bag contains what you suspect it does, it’s deserved.

Seokjin, patron saint of breakfast sandwiches, flops down on the couch that stretches along the opposite side of your coffee table. From where you sit on the floor — hunched over your notes like a hobgoblin — you reach out your expectant arms and make grabby hands in the space between you.

You see mischief flash in his eyes, but only for a second. In the next, he’s pretending like he doesn’t see you; doesn’t hear your petulant little whines. He extends long legs out over the cushions, clutches the bag to his chest, and lets his head roll back to rest on the couch’s arm.

“Wanna know what I did today instead of practice essays?” He asks, eyes unfocused on the ceiling above.

All you actually want is whatever that smell is. You can’t stop staring at the bag of food in his hands. If you try hard enough, maybe you can summon some sort of psychic energy, make it levitate towards you.

He doesn’t wait for your response. “The math.”

“Huh?” 

You frown; and as you do, you reluctantly shift your gaze from Seokjin’s hands to his face. He isn’t looking your way, but you can tell he’s grimacing based solely on the way his jaw twitches. It’s a miracle he hasn’t ground his teeth to dust over the past three years, given how often he makes that face.

In an attempt to ease the tension in his posture, you tease, “Didn’t we go to law school because we can’t do math?”

He cracks an unwilling smile. A tiny one, but a smile nonetheless. Without turning his head, he extends his arm out in your direction. In the split second it takes for yours to spring forward like a snake, that blessed bag dangles; the scent of sausage, egg, and cheese wafts through the air and restores your will to live. Clutching your prize, halfway to feral, you tear into it without hesitation.

As you bite off more than you can chew, Seokjin prepares his rant with a sigh, “So, consider this.”

“Mmphf,” you advise through a mouthful of greasy bliss.

“Bar exam prep takes eight weeks, right? If we’re only counting business days, that’s forty — forty days, for a minimum of eight hours each.”

He becomes more restless, the more he talks. Heated, he sits bolt upright and turns wild-eyed to you.

Oh, he’s gone full-tilt insane.

“Three-hundred-and-twenty hours, then. And if you think about that in terms of our clerk wages —” He slaps his hands down on his thighs for emphasis. “— at 2,625 won per hour —” 

Then, he points to you, as if the increasing volume of his voice wasn’t already holding you hostage.

“— we’ve sacrificed nearly two million won in income, just by studying for this fucking test.”

You swallow down the last bite of your sandwich, which you downright hoovered while Seokjin took the path of most resistance. After clearing your throat, your interjection overlaps with his next point: 

“Seokjinnie, why didn’t you just double our monthly —”

“That’s after we paid ninety million in tuition, hundreds of thousands on study materials and registration fees —”

You cut him off. “Is this your way of asking me to Venmo you for breakfast?” 

He freezes, caught fully off-guard. Shocked eyes widen like you’re the ridiculous one. “Of course not!”

He waves you off like his thoughtful gesture is no big deal. Then, like he’s tired himself out, he sinks back onto your couch. From his back, he grumbles with crossed arms, “‘M just sayin’ that I’m tired of this shit.”

You can’t help but giggle at the pathetic pout working down the corners of his mouth. “Felt,” you agree, though it feels a little bit like a lie.

Truth be told, you feel more awake now than you did ten minutes ago, and you can’t attribute it to the coffee — not when the evidence so clearly indicates otherwise. 

Over the course of three years, you’ve built up quite the case against yourself. You’ve made the following findings of fact:

Whenever he pops up, Seokjin brings your mood up with him. Even now, as he marinates in anguish on your couch, his presence gives you a reason not to beat yourself unconscious with the four-kilogram prep book that sits beside you on the rug. Makes you hate your circumstances a little less, if only because you share them with him.

And, for a rapidly deflating balloon, you have to concede that Seokjin looks stunning this morning. 

Unlike you and your day-three hair, he somehow had the energy to wash his. The mid-sections of some strands are still damp; the parts that aren’t frame his face in fluffy waves. His shampoo is something fruity mixed with something crisp — grapefruit and mint, maybe? — and it floods your senses, causing question marks to replace any coherent thoughts you might otherwise have. You’d be lying again if you said you didn’t want to find out for sure how soft those tresses really are.

The verdict? 

Well, the jury’s still out, but you know you’re guilty. 

If being down this bad for your best friend isn’t a criminal offense, it should be.

You shake your head to clear it. To smother the flame licking up the inside of your belly, you grab the certified mood killer off the coffee table and hold it up in front of you. Surely, the cure for a sexual tension headache is an eight-centimeter stack of color-coded, neon index cards covered in information you shouldn’t need to memorize in the first place.

“Exam’s in one week,” you say with a shiver.

Seokjin rolls onto his side to look forlornly at you. You are not looking at his bare hip bone, which appears where the hem of his shirt shifts from the waistband of his joggers. Nope.  

You continue the search for the point you’re trying to make. “I can barely spell mortgage, let alone explain what the fuck to do with one.”

“Don’t think I know what land even is at this point,” he sighs. Dejected, he lets his arm go limp. It spills off the edge of the cushion and dangles until his knuckles brush against the rug. “What is this property you speak of?”

Biting back a grin is impossible, so you press your lips together instead. Just like that — just by Seokjin being Seokjin — the hellscape you willingly walked into gets a little brighter. Maybe, you think, you can do this.

You look down for a moment to shuffle up the cards you spent the better part of two days preparing. As you stare down at the staggering amount of knowledge you might be tested on, you can feel the crease returning between your eyebrows. Your grimace is back, too, like a reflex. 

If you make it through this experience without premature wrinkles, you’ll be shocked.

There’s shifting on the couch ahead, but you don’t look up until Seokjin breezes, “From this angle, it almost looks like you’re smiling.”

His arm is no longer dangling off the edge of the couch. His entire upper body is. Knees now hinged over the backrest for balance, he’s upside-down and smirking impishly at you.

He has to know you’re in love with him, right? How could he expect you not to be?

You clear your throat and arch a single eyebrow as a challenge. “What is the rule against perpetuities, Seokjinnie?”

Like you, he can recite it in full at a machine-gun rate of fire. It’s been beaten so far into your heads that you might utter it on your deathbeds, with your last gasping breaths.

“No interest in land is good unless it must vest, if at all, not later than twenty-one years after some life in being at the creation of the interest,” he responds with a smug smile. “Easy.”

It’s your turn to smirk. 

“Great. Now, what does any of that mean?”

Without missing a beat, he fires back, “Does anyone know?”

“Absolutely not. Next question!”

Having had the same day, every day, for seven weeks straight, Seokjin is struggling. He’s spent hundreds of hours on the same routine, feeling beaten down and burnt out, all the while. It goes like this:

Every morning, he wakes up and goes for a run in a feeble attempt to feel something other than dread. After that, he eats a lackluster breakfast, and then he promptly chains himself to his desk. When he finally gives himself permission to get up again, it’s dark out; and he’s too brain dead to check the hundred or so notifications that amassed on his phone during his fugue state.

Scratch that. There’s one person he responds to, no matter what. As far as everyone else is concerned, though, he’s a ghost.

Today is the first day out of the last fifty-five where Seokjin doesn’t feel like his brain is being hydraulically pressed. For the first time in too long, he fell into an old routine; one he’s missed. It started with a shower — and honestly, that was overdue — then, he swung by the café he’s frequented over the past three years. There, he made his usual order.

One iced americano, and one sausage-egg-and-cheese croissant with extra hot sauce.

Before he walked back up the block, he downed the former, but he didn’t touch the latter. The latter wasn’t for him, anyways. None of the breakfast sandwiches he ever stops for are.

The subsequent hours looked semi-similar to the three-hundred-and-twenty he’s already devoted to studying. Well, sort of. To be clear, the subject matter still sucks, and he’s still angry that he has to touch it at all, but he isn’t waiting for the sweet release of death in the same way he has been all summer. 

This might have something to do with the fact that, for the first time in nearly sixty days, he’s not on his own. 

More than that, he’s with you.

Having switched away from covenants, easements, and servitudes, he feels a slightly less stupid. Contract law is a little more straightforward and a little less caked in colonialism. Unfortunately, after six hours of burning all his brain cells on shit like liens, Seokjin has begun his descent into madness. 

The worms are digging in, he can’t focus, and neither of you can stop — fucking — laughing.

“I’ll give you a hint,” you giggle, shifting in your spot on the neighboring cushion. You give his knee a pat that feels a tiny bit patronizing, but that makes his pulse race, nonetheless. “It’s a Latin term.”

He snorts so loudly that you do a double-take, just to make sure it wasn’t a sneeze. You both stare at one another for a beat, then comes the eruption.

“It’s all Latin!” He roars. 

To muffle the way he’s wheezing, Seokjin slaps his hands over his face. It’s already tear-stained from his abject failure to keep his shit together. At least he can attempt to hide how red he knows it is.

Your laugh comes straight from your belly. You double over completely when his comes out in squeaks, hand reaching out to squeeze his forearm. It used to bother him, the sound he made when he truly loses it, but it doesn’t any more. 

How could it, when it makes you cling to him like that?

Wiping at your cheeks, you take a deep breath, then sigh, “Does it help if I give you the translation?”

He doubts it because you just pinched your bottom lip between your teeth, and now, his mind is blank. 

Really, it’s a fucking miracle he graduated at all with you around. You and that face you make when you concentrate have always made it impossible for him to do so. It’s why he wasn’t paying attention in class when this shit was taught in the first place, he realizes now. 

To cool himself down, Seokjin grabs the Camelbak bottle off the coffee table, realizes too late it’s yours and not his — oh, well — and shoves the straw into his mouth. He nods once, firmly, and sucks in as much water as he can. 

It all sprays back out of his mouth when you say:

“Naked promise.”

He had always wondered what his life would look like if it ever flashed before his eyes. Now, he knows. It’s not a montage of his finest moments, the most recent of which would not have made the cut. All he sees is you, wide-eyed, glancing between him and the wet spot that’s now soaking through your sweatshirt.

You press your lips together, probably to keep from laughing in his face. It’s a valiant effort on your part and a kind gesture, but honestly, he doesn’t deserve it. His fingers twitch as he clutches the bottle, wanting nothing more than to dump the remaining water on his face. He embarrasses himself more often than not, but this stings his cheeks like a sunburn.

“I am —” he raises his hands, flustered, “So sorry. I don’t remember waking up in a sitcom this morning, but I, uhhh, clearly did.”

When you stand up, you’re grinning. And not in that scary way you do when you’re about to retaliate for some prank he’s pulled. No, that look on your face is genuine amusement. 

Thank god.

You shrug as you cross your arms over your torso and grip the hem of your sweatshirt with both hands. “All good, Seokjinnie,” you laugh. “This needed to be washed, anyway. You see that coffee stain?”

No. 

No, he does not see that coffee stain because the tank top underneath your sweatshirt is clinging to the wet spot as you tug the top layer up your stomach. He feels bad for staring — really, he does — but fuck, your skin looks soft. Like, so soft that he has to grip his water bottle to keep a grip on himself.

Eventually, your tank top separates from your sweatshirt. It falls back down to where it belongs, to Seokjin’s dismay, and the sweatshirt keeps going. 

“Nudum pactum,” you remind him as you pull the drenched hoodie over your head. Playfully, you toss it at him. It smacks against his chest, splays out over his lap. 

Once more with feeling: thank god. 

You sink back down beside him on the couch, and he can’t help but notice that you’re the tiniest bit closer than you were before. It’s innocent, just your bare knee bumping his shin as you re-cross your legs. Still, it leaves his tingling through the fabric of his joggers when you don’t move away.

The silence surges as it settles, crinkling like static in his ears. He almost doesn’t hear you when you ask him again: “What’s it mean?”

Uhhhh.

“It means —”

Unfortunately for him, the water he just forcibly ejected from his mouth didn’t help him. His throat is dry now, and he sounds strangled, he’s sure. The way you’re watching him so intently doesn’t help one fucking bit, either.

Are you doing that on purpose?

You nudge him physically this time, knuckles connecting gently and playfully with his leg. He wonders if you can hear his heart hammering against the wall of his chest in all of this quiet. You might, he figures, especially when you tuck your hair behind your ear.

Instinctively, his eyes flick down to the length of your neck. Without a curtain of hair in the way, it’s even more exposed skin that he doesn’t know what the fuck to do with. Making matters worse for him, you tilt your head to the side expectantly. His breath catches when he tears his gaze away, back up, and sees the way you’re looking at him now.

You are absolutely — without a goddamn doubt — doing this on purpose.

If that’s the game you want to play, Seokjin can play it, too. He turns away from you to set the bottle back down on the coaster he took it from. As he does, he finally answers your question — the nonchalance he’s faking even sounds convincing.

“It’s an unenforceable promise,” he replies casually. “One with insufficient consideration.”

He rights himself in his seat, stretches a bit further backwards until he’s resting comfortably against the arm of the couch. You hide it well, but there’s a hint of a pout on your lips when you clock the newfound distance. 

Check, he smirks to himself, your move.

A flash of pink slips out. Your tongue wetting those lips before you prompt him more quietly than before, “And consideration is…?”

He slips up, makes the mistake of noticing the rise and fall of your chest as you take measured breaths. So, he sees, you’re buzzing with anticipation, too. He wonders if it’s him that’s having that effect on you, or the circumstances. 

For all he knows, it could be pent up steam that you need to release. Stress weighing down your body that you want to get off.

Fuck, he wants to get you off.

He swallows thickly. “Can’t get something for nothing. There has to be an exchange, otherwise it’s meaningless.”

You say nothing, so he keeps talking.

“Quid pro quo, essentially,” Seokjin adds. He chuckles slightly when he realizes. “See? Told you. It’s all fucking Latin.”

The corner of your mouth twitches at his joke, but you don’t make a sound. The hand that previously pushed against his leg inches closer, just barely. It’s such a small shift that you don’t seem to realize that you’re moving it. 

Maybe you feel that pull, too; the one he’s been fighting since you barged into his life without warning. 

Maybe the consideration has been there from the start; a promise for a promise. I’ll jump if you do. Because it’s always been that way, hasn’t it? Since orientation.

Pulling all-nighters in the library, developing matching caffeine dependencies, getting sick too often from the strain of it all. 

You and him.

Laughing quietly in the back of lectures, cold sweats through cold calls, bitching about unpaid internships while you spend indisposable income at the bar down the block without acknowledging the irony.

There are only two real differences between this night and that first one, he notes.

Now, Seokjin isn’t questioning every decision he’s ever made that led him to this point. He’s not scared shitless, not really. Not when you’re around.

You cut through the silence with a sigh that’s barely more than an exhale, so breathy that your voice dissipates as soon as it hits the air.

“Seokjin.”

He could probably hear a pin if you dropped one — can hear everything you don’t say. It’s all packed tight inside that utterance of his name like gunpowder, locked and loaded. 

So, who shoots first?

You shift again. Now, when you speak, it’s deliberate and in a language he can parse.

“Tell me you want me, too.”

Bang!

His body answers for him, pushes off from where he leans until he can get his knees underneath him. He’s waited three years to kiss you, but he can delay gratification for the brief time it takes to overtake you. Pinned with his palms bearing weight on either side of your head, you wind up caged in and breathless beneath him. His right knee occupies the space between your spread thighs.

Again, it’s a miracle he’s made it this far with you around.

He hums, beyond pleased with the position he finds himself in. “Maybe. Tell me if I got the answer right.”

“Oh my god.” You toss your head back to the extent that you can, which admittedly isn’t far. Your frustration rolls off you in waves, heat palpable. “I’ll kill you, I swear.”

“Sounds admissible to me,” he teases further. He flexes an eyebrow. “Isn’t that an exception to the prohibition of hearsay evidence? Speaks to motive, I think.”

Seokjin has no idea why he’s riling himself up like this. If he could shut up — just this once — he could be kissing you by now. You seem to be aware of that fact, too, because you grip his shirt so desperately, one right move might tear it.

You huff out a laugh despite the circumstances,  “This friendship is over, by the way, in case that’s not clear.”

That tiny smile on your face spreads to his. Not over, he knows, just modified. Amplified, finally. Knowing that, he continues to push his luck. 

“Can I make one more joke?”

“So over!” You emphasize with a wail.

He takes a second to center himself before hitting you with award-winning drama, sincerity dipped in the kind of humor he never misses out on with you: 

“You have adversely possessed my heart.”

Your jaw drops at how stupid that line was, but you reign it in just in time for his lips to crash into yours. 

It almost knocks the wind out of him, the way the pieces fall with force into place. They slot together easily, just like you do. With fingers clinging, the weight of his body molding overtop of yours. 

You kiss him until he forgets what life tasted like without your tongue licking into him, your little moans melting in his mouth — until you break apart, gasping for air. Panting, you ask, “Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting on you?” 

He doesn’t, no, not at all. Thankfully, you take his stunned silence for what it’s worth. After relinquishing your grip on his shirt, you bring your hands up to cup his face gently in your palms. 

With you touching him like this, he has no option but to stare down at you. Bit redundant, he thinks, since his focus has always been locked right here, right on you, by choice. Given that, it’s a little funny that he managed to miss every signal you’ve apparently sent him. But really, it doesn’t necessarily surprise him to hear that he’s even dumber than he thought.

You kiss him slowly this time, briefly, before nipping affectionately at his bottom lip. It drives him exactly as crazy as you want it to; makes his cock twitch inside his joggers, makes his brain foggy with a potent combination of fondness and filth.

Do you have any idea how many times he’s thought about this? He’s genuinely wondering because even he doesn’t know. He’s lost count of all the times he’s watched you nibble on your own lip and wished it was his instead. A million or more, if he has to guess.

Seeming to sense the way you've scrambled his brain, you nudge the tip of his nose with yours and giggle.

Seokjin can’t help but grin. “What’s so funny?”

“Thought of a good one,” you answer. Your smirk does his head in. The contrasting, goofy wiggle of your eyebrows squeezes his heart. “Better than yours, I think.”

He kisses you quick and hums, “Oh?”

You nod. 

The suspense is killing him. So is the way your clothed cunt grinds ever so slightly against his thigh. 

Fuck. 

He wants you, he wants you, he wants you. 

“You gonna make me come, Seokjin, or do I have to wait for you to file a subpoena?”

You may have to seek a refund for the prep course you paid for. 

For as long as you can remember, you’ve learned best through application. You could read the same chapter, over and over, and not absorb a word. The same was true with lectures, even more so when they’re pre-recorded rambles by the weirdest adjunct professors known to man. Sure, you may eventually memorize concepts this way, but they don’t sink in deeply enough to stay. You can’t use them in any way that helps you.

To no one’s surprise, no part of your civil procedure lecture sticks until it falls into your lap. 

Strike that. 

Until Seokjin loses his balance in trying to take his pants off, and falls onto your floor with a yelp.

A moment or two passes while you stare at each other in shock, but that dissolves quickly. And so do both of you, right into another fit of laughter that makes your shoulders shake. Then, you jump to your feet and hold your hands out to him.

Seokjin accepts them, though he doesn’t rely on them at all when he stands back up. He seems more than content just to hold onto you, whether or not he needs you to keep him steady. You have no complaints, for once in your life.

Shaking his head, he chuckles, “Venue change?”

“I think —” You hum and kiss the column of his throat. He swallows hard enough that you feel his Adam’s apple bob against your lips. So sensitive.  “This is what they call forum non conveniens.”

He’s having none of that, and you don’t necessarily blame him. As it turns out, the shoe isn’t terribly comfortable when it’s on the other foot.

You’re lifted without warning, bent over his shoulder, and hauled off in the direction of your bedroom before you can even squeak in protest. You drop like a bag of dirt — albeit a beloved bag of dirt — onto your mattress once he reaches it; his lips are on yours to swallow the gasp before it can leave your mouth.

As eager as his mouth are his hands, roaming down the curve of your waist and over your hips. With fistfuls of the pajama shorts you hadn’t bothered to change out of, his head dips down under your jaw. The warmth of his breath is quickly replaced by that of his tongue, flicking a short, languid line along your neck.

“Want you so fucking bad,” he breathes. A shiver shoots straight down your spine and you keen, head crashing gracelessly back against the pillows. “Just like this.”

And he means it — you can feel how true it is with him settled between your spread legs. He presses his hips forward to meet your clothed cunt, cock teasing you through four goddamn layers’ worth of fabric.

His lips flutter against your earlobe just seconds before his teeth graze your flesh. He continues, voice vibrating through his chest to yours, “All the time.”

You outright whimper when he grinds against you a second time. Halfway to crazy, you knot your fingers in his hair and wrap your legs around his back in a silent plea for friction. So hungry for him that it aches.

“Seokjin, need — oh, god.” 

You lose your train of thought the second his hand slides into the gap between your bodies. Long fingers slip below the waistband of your shorts and panties, too. He doesn’t stop there. Not with fingertips whispering over the mound of your cunt, not until he finds you wet and wanting.

So wet that you can hear it when the pad of his index finger runs along your slit.

His mouth curves against your neck, prompting you to shift your head on the pillow. You tilt your neck just enough to meet his eyes. 

To your surprise, he’s not smirking. Not even close. If anything, he looks awestruck. Like he’s finally realizing what he does to you, how your body reacts to him. From the looks of it, that discovery is flipping his whole damn world upside down.

For once, Seokjin doesn’t crack a joke and neither do you. It’s quiet, save for your tiny gasping breaths and the ripple of his fingertip swirling over your clit. Even the moan building in your chest gets the memo. It disappears somewhere in your throat when — fucking finally — that middle finger penetrates you.

And god, he sounds so wrecked when he finally speaks. 

“Tried to imagine it a thousand times, you know,” he murmurs. 

You clench around his finger as it curls upwards, shiver when he starts to stroke the sensitive spot along your front wall. His thumb picks up where his middle finger left off, pressing against your clit in a way that makes you mewl.

Seokjin only stops talking to kiss you deep and leave you dizzy. It’s too brief. If asked, you’d never be able to quantify what amount of time is enough, but you know that wasn’t, so you pout.

Ignoring your little whines, he continues with a hum, “How perfect you’d feel, if I ever got this lucky.”

Oh, Jesus Christ.

You laugh as you say it, but you’re dead serious: “If you keep talking to me like that, you’ll never be able to get rid of me.”

Marry me, why don’t you? Beautiful bastard.

“Threat or promise?” 

He adds a second finger; and suddenly, you’re not laughing anymore. No, the strangled sound you make while you grind against his palm isn’t funny at all, but you can’t care about that now. Your focus is stuck on remembering how to breathe. In, out. On the stars blinking behind your eyelids when they give up and flutter shut.

He works you open for him like he’s already attuned, like it’s the fiftieth time he’s finger-fucked you and not the very first. And, quite frankly, it’s embarrassing how little time it takes for him to pull you apart at the seams.

No one has ever made you cum with such little effort. You’re scared to learn what it’s like when he tries.

You catch the triumphant gleam in his eye in the split second before you bury your face in the crook of his neck. He’s earned it, you suppose, so you’ll let him relish the personal record he’s managed to set on his first time out. You might even let him brag about it, so long as he continues to make you tremble like this.

“Shit,” he chuckles low near your ear. 

If he sounds muffled, it’s because you’re still waiting for your system to reboot. He knows this, knows how fucking sensitive you are, and slides his fingers out of you as slowly as possible. Still, those aftershocks throttle you; the unintentional stimulation makes you jolt.

“Yes,” you nod helplessly, squeezing your eyes and jaw shut simultaneously. “Shit is right. Perfect analysis, no notes.”

A chaste kiss is placed on your temple. It’s petal soft and subak sweet, but it functions like a defibrillator. Within a split second, he’s revived you. Eyes now open again, you exhume your face from where you buried it and blink up at him. Warm brown eyes light up when you reappear.

He’s so fucking beautiful that you almost want to avert your eyes. Key word: almost. You’ll drink in the sight of him until you drown, you think.

Seokjin looks concerned. With a shy smile, he checks in: “You okay? We can stop right now if you’re not.”

You don’t know who they are, but you know that they don’t make them like him anymore. Which is a fucking bummer for the rest of the world — just not for you. This one is all yours.

“You quitting on me, Kim?” You let your knee fall inwards to nudge his side, and you pretend not to notice how boneless you still feel. “Didn’t wait all this time to tap out early, did you?”

He rolls his eyes, but he’s grinning, nonetheless. His warm palm massages the outside of your thigh affectionately, if only for a moment. Then, he pats his fingertips against the same spot. “Shorts off, champ.”

You follow his instructions and move to shimmy out of them, but not before snorting, “Champ?”

“Fine. Old sport?” He offers with a shit-eating grin. Your shirt smacks him in the face once you peel it off and chuck it at him. He pouts. “Hey!”

“Thanks, I hate it.” 

He tugs his shirt over his head, launches it over his shoulder without looking. Your unabashed stare immediately clocks the slight hint of his abdominal muscles. Lean, but not sharply contoured in a way that looks painful to touch. Soft. Perfect, even.

What lab were you engineered in?

“For someone with so many opinions, you don’t offer many suggestions.” He shoots you a pointed look while he unties the knot at his waistband drawstring. “What’s your proposal?”

You’d love to bite back at him. Really, you would, but he pulls his boxers down alongside his joggers, and every meaningful thought you’ve ever had goes flying out the fucking window. All that’s left is I want you, I want you, I want you.

Automatically, you reach out with a tentative hand, craving nothing more than to feel his velvet length in your hand. To your surprise, he stops you. He catches your hand in his, lifts it to his lips, and brushes a kiss over your knuckles.

“Rain check, baby,” Seokjin smiles against your skin. There it is. That’s the one. “Need to fuck you, posthaste, or I’ll simply pass away.”

You open your mouth to comment; he breezes right past you. He points to the mattress, then to the wall to your left. “On your side, love.”

That works, too.

“Face away from me.”

Never in your life have you moved so fast, all but throwing yourself down where he told you to. As you land with a slight bounce, you mouth to yourself, Posthaste? Nerd.

A second slips by, then Seokjin slips into the space behind you. His lips tickle the back of your neck when he kisses the base of it, causing you to gasp yet again. Maybe that’s just how you breathe when he’s around — like you don’t know how.

His hand drifts down the length of your side, passing over the doughy flesh of your ass. He gives it a squeeze for good measure — because of course he does — but he doesn’t linger, not now.

That hand continues until you feel his fingertips scratch affectionately at the back of your right thigh. He doesn’t need to ask; you lift your leg, allowing your knee to hinge overtop of his hand. Now that his hands are occupied, you offer yours to assist. 

This time, he doesn’t stop you when you wrap your fingers around his length. And fuck, there’s so much of it. Part of you wants to ask where the hell he thinks he’s going to fit all of it, but you’re not a quitter, so you keep your mouth shut. 

Seokjin shivers under your touch, breath catching in his throat so blatantly that you can hear it right behind your ear. 

“Hmmm,” you tease, squeezing the crown gently as you circle your wrist. “Does that work for you, champ?”

His forehead drops against your shoulder. The groan you force out of him is twice as long as necessary, followed by an unwilling laugh. “You’re right, okay? You’re fucking right. It’s awful. Just so fucking bad.”

Your thumb swipes over his leaking tip, smearing the bead of pre-cum waiting for you there. You’re relentless. “Sure you don’t like old sport better? Huh, buddy?”

“Baby,” he warns. There isn’t much heat to it, but it burns white hot in your core anyway.

The stretch of his cock does, too, when you finally stop fucking with him and start letting him fuck you. The breath he holds as he enters you slowly is let out in a shuddered groan when he bottoms out. Perfectly full and fully incapable of teasing him further, you simply melt back against his chest.

He’s careful to start, testing the waters and refusing to push you too far, too fast. You want more, though, you always have. Greedy, you rock your hips back against him to force him deeper into your weeping hole. He takes the hint, fingertips pressing bruises into the underside of your knee as he picks up his pace — and you’re far too blissed to care.

He pistons into you eagerly, deliberate. His hips clap against the flesh of your ass, but the sting of it all can’t compete with the way he splits you open. Makes you reach back to cling to any part of him you can get your hands on, claim whatever you find for keeps. Buried to the hilt, and somehow,  he’s still not close enough.

You’re close, if your fluttering walls have anything to say about it. You’re babbling, too, so lost in pleasure that you can only repeat — over and over — how fucking perfect he is. How perfect for you he is.

Seokjin peppers kisses down the curve of your shoulder as he thrusts. It’s the only real indication you have that he’s at a loss for words, too; that he’s compensating for the quiet. He kisses you with an open mouth, teeth grazing the space he finds, leaves a mess on your sweat-slicked skin.

“Fuck,” he grunts. You mewl. “Can’t stop thinking about —”

“Just like that, please.”

“— how many times I could’ve —”

You wail, “Shit, Seokjin, don’t stop. I’m so close.”

The staccato strokes will be the death of you, you’re sure of it. Thankfully, he doesn’t stop. Not when he kisses the back of your neck again, and not when he murmurs directly in your ear, “— had you like this, if I’d said something years ago.”

Please, please, please. 

It’s all you can say, again and again, as if he isn’t already giving you everything you want before you even ask for it. Responding to every movement you make, fucking into you with precision so that each vein of his cock brings friction where you crave it. Fucking you through your orgasm when it catches you in a riptide and sends you reeling.

“That’s it, baby.” His voice is soothing despite the recklessness of his thrusts. “So good for me. So fucking good.”

You’re still gushing when he snaps his hips forward and stills, cock twitching as he lets himself go inside of you. Still trembling when his head droops forward to nuzzle against your shoulder blade, and when you feel his breathing begin to slow in tandem with yours.

Once he pulls himself out of you, a few moments pass in fucked-out silence. It’s comfortable, if you ignore the mess between your thighs — and you do, for now. Your brain is too busy to waste time on that.

You’re exhausted and bordering on delirious when you say it, but that doesn’t make it any less true:

“I might love you, probably.”

He doesn’t respond immediately. He doesn’t move either, which makes you wonder if he’s fallen asleep with his face smushed into your bare back. But you feel the tiniest exhale through his nose; the kind of laugh you get from him when he’s too tired to be any louder.

His reply is muffled, lips still pressed against your skin, but you hear it perfectly.

For the record, he probably loves you, too.

Epilogue, posted 7/26/23.

final a/n: i have a follow-up drabble planned for these two! stay tuned 🥰

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[beanghostprincess]

thing that might be obvious but still suddenly hit me like live fish to the face when i was not listening in class today:

luffy as a child hated being alone (still does, but it was more obvious back then) and knew that shanks and his crew would be leaving someday (leaving him alone, with only makino as his friend, but that's only one person, and shanks has a whole crew full of people)

shanks will not take luffy, because he's a child (because he's weak) so luffy feels like he needs to prove he's grown up (needs to prove he's strong) so maybe shanks will change his mind (so maybe shanks won't leave him)

what do the two strongest adults luffy knows (shanks and grandpa, one is going to leave, the other is almost never around) have in common? scars around their left eyes

luffy is not afraid of being hurt (it's worse to be alone than you be hurt) so of course he stabs himself next to his left eye (to have a scar like all the strongest people he knows)(to be strong)(to not be left alone again)

"When I was not listening in class today" me when I quit high school lmfao so real. I used to spend hours in class writing fanfics. Most of my best works were written in the middle of Philosophy at 8 am.

Oh. Yeah. Luffy's abandonment issues. Yeah. It's quite obvious that he's willing to go to extreme methods to avoid being alone. Relatable little shit. Not gonna call it self-harm but I just want to say that stabbing your cheek and being willing to starve to death (WCI) to not end up alone is a bit um.............. No, yeah, self-harm. Yeah. Not in a conventional way but y'know. It is what it is. We don't talk enough about how serious it is because "haha silly funny boy is so dramatic he stabs his face when he's a kid" but like- He- He stabs his fucking face when he's a kid because being alone and bored is way worse than getting hurt. He feels so lonely. At least he had a friend with Uta but then she suddenly disappeared from his life?? Without any warning?? And he ended up all alone again. I understand why he would want Shanks to take him with him no matter what. Even if he has to hurt himself to prove he's strong. He's been doing that for years. And, okay, WCI isn't exactly just for Sanji not to leave him but more for Sanji to realize Luffy needs him but, uh, same thing. Like it can be both to help Sanji and to be a lil bit tiny selfish in the sense of "if he leaves me I am killing myself" which is quite exactly what happens. Gay ass captain. Can't stand him. This is not healthy nor normal behavior irl btw but if you make it all poetic like that I am willing to let it slide. Love it, even. I love it.

But yeah, Luffy has a bit of a problem there. Somebody take him to therapy.

[captain-hawks]

i'm sitting at the airport terminal in the middle of the night and something wild just happened to me and my first thought was "is this miya twin coded?" so i popped over here because 1. you're one of my absolute favorites. 2. i was just re-reading your kita piece for all the glorious emotional smut. and 3. you also <3 the miyas. please excuse me as i process this.

in senior year high school i went to a weekend-long statewide competition and met these twins in the elevator. one of them definitely had more swagger, more teasing confidence (the kind that guys who are usually successful with ladies have) and the other one was a little quieter, seemed a bit more sincere even though he talked less. we hit it off in conversation and they asked me and my friend if we wanted to grab food with them. i wasn't entirely sure but i thought maybe they were flirting? i was pretty sheltered up until that point and didn't want to assume incorrectly. towards the end of the comp the quieter twin asked if he could come visit me in my city and i, confused, asked "why??" spoiler alert: i ended up dating him for ~2 years.

i found out early on in our relationship that after our "casual dinner" that night when they got back to their room, Swag twin wanted to try his luck and see if he could get with me, but Quiet twin said that he would FIGHT HIM because Quiet really liked me and genuinely wanted to ask me out and he said he wouldn't let his brother ruin that by trying to hook up. Swag was apparently used to usually getting his way, so he realized how serious Quiet was to threaten to beat his ass so i guess he backed off. I didn't find this out until after Quiet and i started seriously talking/dating.

I went out of state for college but we maintained the LDR until halfway through my sophomore year. classic breakup reasons: growing pains/long distance was taking its toll/i wanted to explore life. but we remained on good terms and consider each other friends! we rarely talk, but he still let me use his netflix login for the past 11 years. when he was moving into a corporate role a couple years ago i helped him with interview prep, and when i was looking for a new job he sent me reqs he thought were a good fit.

he's had at least a couple relationships in the near-decade since we broke up (we don't talk about dating but i had seen on social media at some point). i've dated and had a few situationships and am now in a 4 year relationship with my bf. however, he most definitely doesn't know this because we don't chat often, i'm rarely on socials these days and my bf is a very private person.

i'm so sorry for how long this has been. all of this context is to say...i am chilling in the airport on my way home and I GOT A CONFESSION FROM QUIET?? something about i'm the one that got away, he feels he'd won the lottery by meeting me and having me in his life, he referenced the fight he had with his brother all those years ago and said he'd fight the same fight TO THIS DAY. i am flummoxed. i think it is a sign from the great spaghetti monster in the sky that i need to log off tumblr because my very first thought was "what in the fanfiction trope is this?" does this shit actually happen irl? now i need to go deal with this.

anyways thank you for reading this if you got this far! idk if it's just because it's twins and their dynamic is vaguely similar to osamu and atsumu but i was like...have i been isekai'ed into a miya twin fanfic? the sleep deprivation may be catching up to me and i may be entirely unhinged idk

first of all, ily and i’m so flattered you thought of me and ran over here to share this story. i literally read this while brushing my teeth because i was running late for work this morning, but i was so invested i had to read the whole message before i left.

anyway, EXCUSE ME????? i actually can’t get over this. how does it feel to have lived in a real life miya twins fanfic? are you taking interviews at this time? HE SAID HE WOULD FIGHT!!!! HIM? THE ATSUMU/OSAMU DYNAMICS i cannot believe. somewhere an author is on their knees (it’s me, the author). AND NOW THE CONFESSION???? OVER A DECADE LATER? i almost choked on my toothpaste. (i feel like there’s also irony to be found in the inherently symbolic nature of getting that message in such a transitionary, liminal space like an airport in the middle of the night.)

nonnie, i hope you have safe travels home and can get some much-deserved rest after that absolute bombshell. if there ever happens to be a future update or footnote to this story………..you know where to find me.

[acacia-may]

Hiya Acacia! For the ask game; may I ask for 4, 7, 31, and 46 please 🥰?

Hi there, Lyra! Thank you for the ask, friend!! 💜 These replies got really long so I've put them under the cut.

4. What is the plot bunny you’ve been carrying for the longest? optional bonus question: do you ever wonder why you haven’t written it yet and experience deep existential dread?

Since I have way too much WIPS, I am going to take a very narrow focus for this question and make myself choose from plot bunnies I have never written anything for (rather than including any existing wips). In which case, I've got to go with my Langris x Finesse Beauty and Beast AU where the Golden Dawn is all turned into the palace furniture (It's based off the Disney movie (loosely) and Alecdora Sandler made an excellent uptight clock, William was a candlestick, and David is particularly hilarious as a wine glass). I wanted to write this one so badly but just never could figure out how to make it into an actual story rather than vignettes of scenes and shenanigans, so it never came to life. 😭

And yes, I feel deep existential dread when I think about all of my wips and the stories I will (probably) never get to write... 🙈

7. Tell us about the plot of the first fanfic you ever wrote

I think I was "writing" fanfiction pretty much my whole life. When I played make-believe as a little kid, it was always continuations of my favorite stories or putting my favorite characters into AUs. I remember writing some short stories about my favorite book and cartoon characters too, but I'm not sure what my very first one was about. I want to say it was Star Wars because my friend and I wrote this whole series when I was about 9 called "The Adventures of Space Cat" (which was my friend's Star Wars OC: a talking cat who was basically adopted by Luke, Han, and Leia and brought on all their adventures after the end of the original trilogy).

When I was in middle school, I wrote what was essentially Ben 10 Alien Force fanfiction for an epic poetry school project and just changed all of the names and some of the more specific details. This absolute gem (I say with total sarcasm) is unfortunately lost to time but my sister swears she vividly remembers this one particular line that was basically, "Character A paused during the battle because of his trauma and confidence issues" (which I think probably says a lot about me & the kinds of characters that compel me even back then...).

I don't think I got serious about writing fanfiction until high school though when I wrote my big, long Secret Garden epic which was 46 chapters and 176,134 words long (and was going to be a duology so was technically never finished even though book 1 has a complete first draft...) The plot was pretty basic. It was a sequel to my favorite book of all time, The Secret Garden, and (believe it or not) a period romance that took place when all the characters were adults mostly during World War 1. It was split perspective and had OCs as major characters too, so it was, honestly, a really ambitious project.

I made so many changes to it after I had a complete draft so I'm honestly very relieved I never posted it anywhere and just shared it with my friends and family irl. They seemed to like it well enough but...it's a bit of an embarrassment for me tbh as I feel my writing has gotten so much better since then. A friend I met in college wanted to read it but I had made so many changes to the draft & had never finished the 2nd draft so it was basically unreadable (i.e. the beginning no longer matched the ending, random plotlines were taken out and added ect.) so I wrote Secrets and Sugar Mice for her as a little taste of my overall ideas and also to introduce her to one of my OCs (and I actually did post that to AO3 (linked here) if you are at all curious).

Writing that story helped me grow so much as a writer, character creator, and storyteller and I'm so grateful for the experience, but I'm not sure I will ever actually resurrect this project, especially since I'm not sure this particular 100+ year old book has much of a fandom.😅

31. Tell us about one of your characters who’s an absolute joy to write

I've answered this here (about one of my OCs) and here (about Black Clover canon characters I enjoy writing), but since we're doing blast from the past here a little, I will give a shout out to very first real OC, Julia, who taught me so much about how to create a character and fit them into an existing world (and as an eventual love interest for an existing character). Some of the most fun I have ever had as a writer was writing her and Colin's quick-witted rivals to friends to lovers plotline. They're both highly intelligent people, strong-willed, and stubborn as heck, and their plotline took place in a hospital (mostly during the war) where he's a doctor and she's a nurse and they are just butting heads about how best to run things at every possible turn. They end up playing up their rivalry because neither wants to admit defeat or that they actually have a lot of respect & admiration for each other and want to be friends. (Secrets and Sugar Mice is about that specifically if you're at all interested).

Here is a short excerpt if I can be completely self-indulgent (just a short little exchange between her and her dad (who technically is a canon character but we know next to nothing about him so he's basically an OC too lol):

Julia stopped abruptly, staring at the medical supply cabinet. It was exactly as she had left it with supplies organized for practical use—bandages next to gauze as they would often be taken together and so on. It only made sense after all—at least to Julia anyway. Some people were of the opinion that it would be better if the supplies were arranged alphabetically.

“Dr. Craven didn’t rearrange the cabinet today,” said a voice from behind her. She turned and found her father, Dr. Louis Cartwright, dressed in his white coat with files in hand. He smiled slightly at her.

 “So I see.”

“He was very busy,” her father explained. “It’s alright if you’re a bit disappointed.”

Her cheeks flushed, but she frowned. “Why would I be disappointed?”

Her father sighed and smiled knowingly at her. “I think you enjoy your little squabble over it.”

Julia could feel a deep blush rising in her cheeks, but she huffed indignantly. She most certainly did not enjoy arguing over the cabinet. It was bad enough that Dr. Colin Craven had somehow convinced her father to move them across the country to work in his hospital, but to then refuse to organize said hospital in a practical manner was even worse. Well, perhaps the rest of the hospital was alright, but this blasted cabinet simply wasn’t practical. She had reorganized it almost immediately, and he had rearranged it right back stubbornly insisting he couldn’t find anything unless the supplies were organized in alphabetical order. She insisted that putting frequently grouped items together saved time and rearranged it again. Then he reorganized it alphabetically again. And so on and so on. This had gone on for months now. It was a matter of pride not something she enjoyed—or at least not something she’d ever admit to enjoying no matter what her father said.

“It’s a matter of principle only, and if this is a sign that Dr. Craven has finally conceded, I would be glad of it.”

Her father laughed—his dark eyes sparkling. “I think it’s more of a sign that he was busy and had lots of patients today. I suppose, we’ll see tomorrow. Unless of course you want to ask him. He hasn’t left yet.”

Julia blinked. As much as she relished the idea of him admitting she was right about the cabinet, she was fairly certain that, as her father had said, this spoke more to Dr. Craven’s workload than to him conceding to her.

“I think I’ll just wait to see. Plus, I think this is a new record for my organization system.”

Her father chuckled quietly to himself but shook his head. “Don’t you think this cabinet squabble has gone on long enough?”

“We haven’t reached a resolution yet.”

“I don’t think you’ll ever reach a resolution this way.” Her father sighed. “I don’t understand why you won’t just admit you want to be friends and find something else to talk about.”

Julia’s cheeks grew hot, but she huffed and shook her head. “I don’t want to be friends.”

Her father raised his eyebrows and tilted his head slightly at her. Julia fidgeted. He could always tell when she was lying. The truth was she wouldn’t mind being friends. In fact, maybe a part of her did want to be friends—but at the same time she barely knew the man, and the little she did know of him was not particularly flattering. Still, she couldn’t help but concede that he was at least intriguing—this heir to a grand estate who spent his time as a doctor in a country hospital—or at least he would be if he was actually sociable from time to time and wasn’t so stubborn.

Julia huffed again. “It’s beside the point. Even if I did want to be friends, he clearly has no interest in making friends with me.” She sighed. “And besides, even if we did try to make friends, I doubt we would even get on—we so often disagree.”

“I think you’d get on extremely well if you got to know each other a little better. You have lots of common interests.”

“Which he never talks about,” Julia protested.

“He’s just shy and…”—Her father paused as if thinking of the right word—“awkward.”

“He’s very opinionated for someone who’s shy,” she countered her brow furrowing. 

Julia’s father laughed, but he smiled kindly. “He is a bit of an odd duck, but he’s a kind person at heart and very generous.”

“Why don’t you make friends with him then?” Julia teased with a chuckle.

Her father laughed. “I already am friends with him, and it’s quite pleasant.”

Julia wrinkled her nose, but her mouth turned up in the corners in spite of herself. She sighed. “I know that you’re very fond of him, Papá, and I can tell that he admires and looks up to you, but he has been nothing but cold and standoffish to me. Arguing about that cabinet and occasionally discussing work related issues is the full extent of our interaction. It’s not nearly enough to build a friendship.”

“I haven’t seen you try to talk to him about anything else, either,” her father countered pointedly before his face softened. “I know he wants to be friends, but I don’t think he knows how to strike up a conversation with you especially since you’re so set on disliking him.”

Julia sighed. “I’m not set on disliking him, but it is difficult to like someone who is so often disagreeable.”

46. what time are you the most productive when it comes to writing?

First thing in the morning or the middle of the night. But I think it changes based on my health and how busy I am. I am a very slow writer in general so it takes me a lot of time in the drafting/outlining stages before I actually sit down to start writing.

[three-seperate-johns]

Eight shows to get to know you :) I was tagged by @thetideseternaltune

I’ve taken the ‘getting to know me’ part to heart - I don’t even follow tags for all these shows on tumblr. They are not necessarily my favourite right now, nor are they the shows I write/read fanfic for.

In no particular order:

Numb3rs - I grew up without a tv, so numb3rs was the first show I really picked out for myself, and I started watching it when I was ~15. It’s the only show I’ve ever gone out and bought every season of for myself. It’s just a really solid monster of the week detective show, with subtle and charming characters who are not too closely involved in the plots they investigate. Which is exactly my jam. One of my friends watched Numb3rs and chatted with me briefly about it, but I’ve otherwise never fangirled over it with anyone. Even though I still count it as one of my favourite shows of all time 15 years down the track. I’ve actually never read fanfic for Numb3rs, and I know next to nothing about the making of. I wouldn’t recognise the names of the actors or any of the showrunners, which is actually my ideal media consumption experience xD 

Buffy - First show I ever watched while surrounded by people who are obsessed with the show, and I had an excellent time with it. It was interesting because all my friends were teenagers when they watched it for the first time, but I was in my early twenties, and it was really interesting to see where my experiences of the show diverged from theirs. I don’t usually read Buffy fanfic, and some of my Buffy opinions are pretty controversial :P I think seasons 4-6 are the best, and I love Riley which seems to really bother some of my friends xD

Fallet - This show is a fucking fever dream. It took me a whole episode to work out that it was a comedy, it had some real ‘Douglas Adams’ vibes at the end, which was fun. It’s a murder mystery set in sweden that uses a mix of swedish and english, and it is best described as ‘kooky.’ My only IRL friend who watched it (after much nagging) did so while slightly feverish with covid. They seemed to have a good time, but I would not recommend doing this xD It’s wild enough without the delirium.

Vera - the quintessential ‘slow moving, episodic, british murder mystery.’ Vera is awesome (especially in the early seasons) for just being really fucking good. My favourite thing about this show is the leading lady - Vera is a grumpy, frumpy, middle aged woman without a maternal bone in her body. I am so sick of women needing to be kind and selfless to be a protagonist.

VGHS - now for something completely different! It’s a show made by a youtube special effects guy about a high school where you learn to play videogames. And it made me cry. A death notification set to an in-universe laugh track? Sign me up! It’s mostly super goofy, and the main character is way less interesting than all his friends, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Probably the closest thing to a pure comedy I will watch, but it makes it oddly poignant moments all the sweeter. Also, 10/10 ending. I don’t read fanfic of it either, and these days I’m waaay too old for the characters personally. I definitely had a bit of a thing for the main character’s gf tho. Ngl.

Shetland - I do this thing where I avoid looking at fan content for a show if I’m enjoying it on its own merits, because I want to experience it without the brain rot. Kinda weird, but it works for me. Shetland is funny because I could immediately see a pairing I wanted to explore, but I waited years for the show to go downhill before I let myself open ao3. Luckily, I think they caught up with the books, and changed hands around season 4ish, because the quality nosedived and I have read and written so many things for Jimmy/Duncan, and do not intend to stop xD I actually haven’t had the heart to watch the latest season, because I don’t think I’ll enjoy it all that much. Cool theme song though! And everyone should watch the early short seasons.

Capitani - I hate the hays code. And not just because of the moralising and the homophobia - it makes storytelling predictable. The impact it continues to have on all english speaking media is never more obvious than when you watch something from another part of the world and are completely blindsided by the emotional arc. Capitani fucking killed me. I’ve read that Capitani is Luxembourg’s only globally successful media product. I don’t know if that’s true, but I wasn’t sure if Luxembourg was a country or a city before I watched it, so it’s probably not far from the truth. I now have a fun little rap song in Luxembourgish on my spotify playlist! It won my heart forever when they set up a joke and completed it four episodes later without any call backs. Imagine having that much faith in your audience! I would read the shit out of fanfiction of the fucked up love story between Capitani and Karla, but unfortunately, there is none :(

MASH - My ex step father owned every season of MASH on DVD, and when I was 14 my friend and I would rush to my house to watch them while having sit-up competitions. I don’t know why this was a fun activity for two 14 year old girls, but I have so many fond memories of this time. It was the first tv show I ever watched sequentially, and the first show I ever watched start to finish. It was also the reason I beat all the boys in my class when we had to do those fitness tests in PE! xD I’m personally a bigger fan of the show post-season 3 when they had the big tone shift. While there are definitely funny scenes, the image in my head when someone mentions MASH is always Charles smashing up his record player. So while it’s famous as a comedy, that’s not really how I remember it. I keep meaning to go look up the show on ao3, because I am sooo curious about what the common pairings are, and what kind of tone the fics take.

I had a lot of fun with this :) Thanks for tagging me! I’m way too shy to tag eight people, but would love to hear about the viewing past of: @republicofgaypirates @galadriel1010 @leliesblou @scullyverse @justplainsalty

[saiditallbefore]

15 QUESTIONS FOR 15 FRIENDS

Tagged by @brigdh, thanks!!!!

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?: Not my first name! I think my middle name is after someone my mom was friends with at the time, but both of my irl names are pretty classic and popular names.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: Earlier today. Shoulder pain + wrist pain have made for a very unfun weekend.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?: Nope!

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?: I played some volleyball in middle school, but I've never been particularly athletic. (I found out I had mild asthma when I was a senior in high school, but didn't realize until I was an adult that getting the feeling of knives in your chest from exercise wasn't just being out of shape, that was the asthma.)

DO YOU USE SARCASM?: All the time.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?: Hairstyle and color, and then probably clothes. But definitely the hair-- my grandmother was a hairdresser, and we had hair magazines around my house growing up instead of fashion magazines.

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOR?: Blue-gray, but more blue when I'm wearing my contacts.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?: Both!

ANY TALENTS?: I think I'm pretty good at this writing thing?

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?: The Pacific Northwest, US

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?: Fandom in general, of course, but especially writing fanfic. I also like crochet and embroidery. (It's unfortunate for my RSI that all my hobbies involve using my hands.) In the summer, when the weather's nice, I really like getting out and going on short hikes. Related to that, I've also recently joined the local whale watching Whatsapp in the hope that I'll be able to spot some of the local whales when they're in the area.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?: One cat, my tuxedo cat named Cassian.

HOW TALL ARE YOU?: About 5'7".

FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?: History, psych, and English.

DREAM JOB?: Probably to actually be able to get paid for my writing? Although that requires more focus on a single project for a sustained period of time than I've been capable of in my life so far (yay, ADHD). Other than that, my job right now is pretty close. I don't have to deal with the public, and I basically get to sit in the office by myself and do my work and then completely forget about it when I leave the office. I realize that might sound kind of lame, but after some of my jobs, I really value not having to do customer service and getting to completely leave work at work.

Tagging (if you want!) @tavina-writes, @venort, @tockae, @sadpearonmars, @petralemaitre and anyone else who wants to participate

[heartsofminds]

15 questions

thanks for the tag @gretagerwigsmuse. the inner leo in me will never not take the opportunity to talk about myself 😉 so here we go! 

1. “are you named after anyone?” 

my parents took one of the most popular girl’s name from the late 90s to the early 2000s and changed a letter to make it unique...worked out though because it was my great grandpa’s name who died long before i was even thought of. 

2. “when was the last time you cried?” 

watching the new avatar like three weeks ago. the ending had me FUCKED up. 😭

3. “do you have kids?” 

no! but in the future (which is not near at all) i want two or three and we’re all gonna be besties. 

4. “do you use sarcasm a lot?” 

yes. being a facetious bitch is one of my defining traits if you know me irl. 

5. “what’s the first thing you notice about people?” 

maybe a weird answer but i kind of get a read on their vibe first? idk. i love people watching and analyzing things so i always secretly watch and observe before approaching. 

6. “what’s your eye color?” 

i have dark brown eyes! 

7. “scary movies or happy endings?” 

i literally cannot compartmentalize scary movies so my heart rate is elevated for a three-day minimum after watching one. happy endings certainly for the win. 

8. “any special talents?” 

okay okay okay. i have a special talent for reading people’s political compass by just looking at them and it’s always semi-accurate. also for finding characters from tv shows or cartoons that resemble people i know irl. 

9. “what are your hobbies?” 

okay, so i adore writing (stuff outside of fanfics, too. i use it as a coping skill so whenever i write about a situation that upset me, i know that i’m over it). i also love running. i’m trying to get my guy friends to teach me how to play pool. 

10. “where were you born?” 

the land of lincoln lol. 

11. “do you have any pets?” 

no! our family dog passed away like two years ago after having her for twelve years. 

12. “what sports do you play/currently play?” 

i did a little stint with cross country in middle school but quit before high school. i also played soccer and volleyball pretty competitively (club travel teams) throughout high school. now i run mostly but i’m thinking of joining rec volleyball and soccer leagues! 

13. “how tall are you?” 

curious to see if y’all think i give off tall girl energy or short girl energy before i tell you....but i’m 5′1, sadly. 

14. “favorite subject in school?” 

GOD i love history. was literally obsessed with american history after the gilded age in high school and it just kind of..comes easy to me? i’m poli sci now in college and absolutely ADORE my con law classes. 

15. “dream job?” 

i would LOVE to be a prosecutor who deals with special crimes! but ultimately, i want a job that allows me to think critically, express empathy, and help people along the way! 

tagging: @hangmanapologist @roosterbruiser @inklore @callsignvalley @sunlightmurdock @currentlybradshaw and anyone else who wants to do it! 

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

Thanks @enigma-the-mysterious for the tag!

I used to have an ff.net account when I was in middle school. It's since been deleted because I foolishly told EVERYONE about it and when I got older I was afraid it would be used for bullying purposes lmfao. It contained terrible Dragon Ball and Warrior Cats fanfic 🩷 Now I tell no one irl about my online shenanigans. No Wattpad tho at least

Obviously I write smut, most goes unpublished but the contents of my Google Drive would give a medieval peasant cardiac arrest

I don't roleplay anymore but I did in high school

I forgot I actually DID beta my friend's Dragon Ball fic in middle school lol so it's not checked, but I haven't since starting to write again. Also none of my fics are beta'd bc I'm too shy to ask internet strangers and as I said before there is no way in hell I'm letting any of my real people know what I do online

All my fics are self indulgent why would I write it off I didn't want to

I actually don't think fanfic is a real literary genre-- it's real literature but not a genre because it still has its own genre (romance, fantasy, sci-fi, horror, etc) but it was marked like a free space so I checked it lol

I try to make everything canon-compliant unless specifically writing an AU and I still want everything consistent so yes research

I do anxiously await feedback pls

I've made my own (re: my last post) but haven't received any yet (but I've been told by someone that they were working on someone and I just-- am crie thank you..)

I have dozens of WIPs that I don't plan to publish in my Google drive but I don't punish a long form story unless it's been completed.

I have LOTS of ideas at night (including but not limited to: the stan account headcanon, the "Nimona is Pink Guy" post-- which by the way is the magnum opus of this account-- among others )

I have many that need more attention :,)

Not comfortable tagging anyone so @ ANYONE who sees this and wants to do it, you should do it!!! Blank below the cut

[z-h-i-e]

New Year's Fanfic Asks - 4&5/5

The final installment for my good friend Anonymous...

16. Do you have that one fanfic that you wrote a ton for, ages ago, but never posted? Will this be the year, come hell or high water, that it WILL get finished and posted?

Oh, Unforgettable. You are basically done.  Someone just has to get my ass in gear and get it all put together and posted.  Probably me. But peer pressure helps, too.

17. Do you typically answer all comments/reviews individually? Do you plan to change the way you interact with your readers this year?

>.> This is something I am terrible at on AO3, but great at in emails and on Discord.  If you connect with me on Discord and show an interest in wanting to discuss what I’ve written, chances are we will end up in a voice chat where I will tell you stories that may never get written down and will wish you sweet elfy dreams when we part. Emails, there’s a good chance I’ll answer back and we’ll become email penpals and start writing fic together.  On Tumblr, I am likely to answer back.  On AO3, I have an embarrassing amount of unanswered comments (maybe someday we’ll play guess a number); I used to take one Friday a month, take myself to lunch at Panera, specifically one that I used as the basis for Salgant’s home, and answer AO3 comments. Then pandemic. So I need to get a routine going again.  But until then – I’m .zhie. on Discord, and I can be poked there. Or here. Here is good, too.

18. Do you typically post multi-chapters as you write, or finish it all and then start posting? Would you like to change your posting method? 

I am chaos. Both. Either. And I’ve even written and posted chapters out of order. I’ve posted them so out of order I’ve posted endings before the middle has been figured out. 

19. Would you consider non-fandom writing events, like NaNoWriMo or writing contests? 

Oh.  Oh, you have no idea.  I spent about 12 years as a NaNoWriMo ML, I run a state-wide writing Discord for the state I’m in, and I do in fact enter writing contests.  I was published as a poet when I was in high school, placed in a playwriting contest as well, had three different plays I wrote produced in a community theater type setting (I got to direct two of the three – two were comedies [those I directed] and one was a drama), and three times in five years been chosen for a local short works contest to be in their chosen ten for writing, and one of the years was a chosen photographer for the same contest (ten or less photos are chosen, and ten or less written works, and then they are read in public at an event night), and I perform at open mics on the regular, so locally, in person, not just online, a fair number of people know me as Zhie as well. (And at some of the public open mics, I do sometimes read fanfiction. The first one I read was back in 2005 or 2006, and it was a story about Celegorm, and then there’s been various stories since then, the latest one I recall was about Celebrimbor and Feanor reuniting in Valinor.  I read these while on a stage or in the middle of a room filled with people drinking fancy coffee drinks and eating pastries and there’s a couple of IRL fans who have recorded some of the readings, so they’re probably out there somewhere.) And I do all of those how to write sessions and events – at one of the writing groups I regularly attend (I’m a regular member of two in-person writing groups at local libraries) a member gave me the title ‘The Book Doctor’ and I kind of like it. 

20. Any plans to work on original fiction this year?

Yes. Fingers crossed. I need this fantasy horror story out of my head and on paper. 

21. Will you try writing software, like Scrivener or those programs that won’t let you stop writing?

I have used some of those in the past, but I don’t really have much of a need for them anymore.  I do still enjoy a good session of written? kitten! from time to time, and I’ll use Fighter’s Block during nano or any time I need to write much faster. (It’s the only reason I managed to write 50K words in 10 days during NaNo a few years ago.) 

22. Do you plan to take writing classes this year?

I’m kind of at the point where I give writing classes. I enjoy going to the two in-person writing groups because I think it’s important to interact with other writers outside of one’s normal genre, and I have a lot of different people I interact with.  One of the groups leans more nonfiction, and the other is more fiction.  So there’s a guy who writes these nonfiction essays about dead people (basically, famous people, but they have to be dead, I think so that he can have a definitive end, but he’s recently started writing a book about banned books), a WWII vet who writes poetry about the war, someone who professionally is a blogger, someone who writes social psychology pieces, someone who writes these one-page anecdotes that relate back to a Bible passage, someone who writes anecdotes about Jewish life in the 1960s/70s, someone who writes blogs about libraries and books, someone who writes about economics. Then there’s someone who is a children’s author (3 books published), someone who writes YA fiction, someone who is an illustrator, another who is writing a theatrical play for a specific band’s music, someone who writes those nostalgic books full of postcards, someone who is writing her family stories down for her grandchildren to read later when they’re grown up in case she’s not around when they start asking about family history, a scifi writer, a romance writer, a fantasy writer, a songwriter. And me. Those live writing groups are better than any writing class. I get exposed to so many ideas and levels of writing and things I would never write but analyzing them gets me thinking about other things, and all in all, makes me a better writer. 

23. Would you like to go on a writing retreat?

I would like to host one.  I’ve done college-level coursework in convention and meeting planning, and I’ve done a lot of convention and event planning.  However, at this point, one of the above mentioned people in one of the groups does run a writing retreat, and she has two of the events of that retreat open to the public, so I went to one of the events this past November, and I enjoyed it.  So maybe I’d consider going to her retreat, especially since I wouldn’t have to majorly travel to get there. 

24. By the end of this year, you want your fandom to think of you as “that author who _______.”

I don’t need to wait until the end of the year.  In the back of a dresser somewhere there’s a shirt that has a big purple rabbit on the front and on the back, it says something to the effect of “I’m the author that brought your fandom cheesecake and flamingos and purple bunnies”, and that’s pretty much what I do and what I’ve been doing.  I brought a little chaos, as a treat, and people seemed to like it, so I just keep doing weird shit, like licking virtual couches in Yahoo!Groups or running an event called Screw Yule just because I could. I bounce around, from the fanfic and fanart groups, into the crafting groups, over to the gaming groups, around to the bookclub groups, sliding into the scholarly groups, and I’m always just a little quirky and a little unexpected and very authentically me–I’m just tiggering my way around, and like tiggers, the wonderful thing about zhies is that I’m the only one. 

25. If you answered questions from this list last year, find your answers and compare your goals to your results. How’d you do?

I did not answer these last year, but now that I have a full slate, perhaps I’ll have to revisit next year.

[devondespresso]

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

tagged by the lovely @blushweddinggowns

1. are you named after anyone? Yes! my legal name came from a nickname my mother used for her sister and Devon is actually the name of one of my cool older cousins. My sibling suggested it one day and we were like “yo thats like a cool older brother name” and it didn’t occur to us until later just how biased that opinion was

2.when was the last time you cried? uh good question. its not like it was super long ago i just have a terrible basic memory. i think it was reading a fic? pretty sure i shed a tear or two reading the epilogue for Smoke Oh The Water on ao3

3. do you have kids? no im 18. but also no if i was 40. im terrified of fucking up another human. maybe eventually ill foster older teens with my future wife. who knows

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? not intentionally, i have this habit of saying “oh joy” when someone tells me about something sucky that has or will happen because i dont really know what to do in that situation. so it feels like an “aw that sucks :(” but with the casual tone that lets them lead the conversation about it

5. what sports do you/have you played? i think i did cheer in like preschool, I did archery in middle school, and took weightlifting in high school. i’ve also done yoga on and off since summer of 2018 and i know its not a sport but no one talks about it outside of Instagram fitness girlies and im sick of this disrespect (/j)

6. whats the first thing you notice about people? first probably outfit/aesthetic, next is how they speak. tone and word choice and what they says about what they think about whatever they're saying. i have the irl subtext radar and all that does is make me cry easier rip

7. what’s your eye color? hazel?? brown? your guess is as good as mine bestie

8. scary movies or happy endings? happy endings. my imagination will convince me of the wildest shit if given the slightest bit of inspiration

9. any special talents? uhhhhhhh im pretty proud of my weird mobility skills? like ive got good balance and coordination (usually). i can put on pants one-handed? i can open doors and flick light switches with my feet? im good at climbing shit?

10. where were you born? what are you a cop /j (deep south, red state)

11. What are your hobbies? i like yoga and calisthenics and improvised dancing. i love screenwriting and film and im finally giving fanfic writing a shot! i also just like making shit like sewing and customizing figures and making little scenes out of displays

12. do you have any pets? yes my cat his name is mittens aka goose boy aka bagel boy aka wiggle man aka bogus aka bingus aka chicken aka little baby man aka loafus aka mr meow meow aka moafus aka doodle boy aka squirmy wormy aka- *gunshots*

13. how tall are you? 5′3? again your guess is as good as mine

14. favorite subject in school? theatre. i dont get to be normal. if were talking like. regular subjects then it depends on the teacher. i had an english teacher that let me do a book report on a manga. i owe her everything.

15. dream job? in an ideal world id be a screenwriter and director. but the world isnt ideal its actually sexist and homophobic and ableist and shit so i doubt id get there rn. its the gen z depression.

i sincerely dont know if i actually have 15 mutuals (statistics say yes, anxiety says no) and im nervous about tagging usually because i dont want to assume connections are closer than they actually are AND ive convinced myself i keep tagging the same mutuals too much lately AND its 2 am and i work in the morning so no tags tonight but mutuals if you want to then consider yourself tagged! and feel free to @ me in your list (tags or “tagged by“) if you want to!

[scmsdivinecultists]

What your fave SCM god says about you

I read one psychology article and now I’m all knowing. Hope at least one of these points apply to you simps

If your favourite is Leon, you are one of the following:

Youngest child

Outcast or the “popular” kid

Daddy issues

Your childhood dream was either to be royalty or be rich

You hyperfixate to many things

You might say ur not charismatic but you’ve had at least more than 1 person you rejected a love confession to

“You’re wrong, I’m right, shut up.”

You don’t fall in love easily but once you do, you fall hard

You like smug bastards or you have a bondage fantasy

Your favourite voltage game is one of the following: Kissed by the Baddest Bidder, Court of Darkness, Masquerade’s Kiss, or Kings of Paradise

You have fairy lights in your room filled with pictures or posters

You had a massive friend group but at least 5 people have left from then to now

You cling onto memories like they’re a lifeline

You have the latest phone or more than 3 leisure electronics

If your favourite is Scorpio:

You can’t be any taller than 5′6

You probably listen to bands and can’t go anywhere without your headphones

Really creative

Your favourite Shakespeare play was Hamlet or Macbeth

Have had or is going through an emo phase

Hates writing essays

Have 3 best friends max

You have definitely bought albums, posters, or merch of your faves

ur probably a weeb

you’ve broken a bone or you’re very knowledgeable in the medical field/how to harm the human body for some reason

dark humour is the best humour

Your friends are very concerned for you because of said humour

You like watching people play Monopoly bc of the chaos

into so many fandoms that you know the lore of your faves more than you know the material you learn at school

If your favourite is Teorus:

You are an only or youngest child

Spoiled

Daddy/Mommy issues

Abandonment issues

You feel like you fade into the background/don’t contribute much to the group

You feel like you are often forgotten

You’re close with your cousins

You probably have a pet

Taylor Swift or 1D for life

Have definitely threatened to kill or beat someone up despite you intimidating no one

You want to play an important role but you are so not the leader type

You like Ouran Host Club

You like the outdoors

You probably like To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before

Your favourite disney princess is Rapunzel or Cinderella

If your favourite is Huedhaut:

You are definitely a romantic

You’re not an air sign (Gemini, Aquarius, or Libra)

You’re a moron or you make bad decisions and Hue is there to help balance that out

Chances are you read more fanfic than actual books

Your system is 70% caffeine

For some reason you have lots of random trivia

Have you considered therapy for your suppressed trauma?

Dungeons and Dragons fan

You’re really into alcohol or you despise it

Loyalty is the trait you admire most

You want to feel like a sassy and classy bitch but you gave up after 2 days

Your favourite ship trope is enemies to lovers or slow burn

A lot of pent up angst but you hide it 

you put other people > yourself bc you don’t want them to make the same mistakes you did

Why do you have so many memes saved?

Why do you have reaction pictures for everything?

If your favourite is Dui:

You’re probably not into guys

FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT

Either you’re a precious sunshine child or you are the most fucked up human in your friend circle

You have a choking kink

You either take sides in fights or you’re the middle ground

You make lots of threats but no one is acc taking them seriously

You probably are a massive manipulator

You’re psychotic and have violent tendencies 

Your best friend lives far away from you/ you have an internet friend that gets you more than your IRL ones

You say honesty is the best policy but you lie the most

Everyone comes to you for advice but you think you’re the most mentally unstable

You have identity issues and u change ur mind all the time 

Whatever you were as a kid, you’re probably the opposite of that now

If your favourite is Ichthys:

You are attached to the characters with the most trauma

You must not be a clean freak or your room is equally as messy as Ikky’s

Oldest or middle child (either way u have siblings) 

Never got to go to an amusement park as a kid 

Want attention/didn't get enough attention as a kid

You want Ichthys’ parents to adopt u bc they are the family stability you crave

Unresolved trauma and definitely not mentally stable 

You liked dinosaurs as a kid

You had pet fish as a kid and they all died bc you overfed them

Using anything else to escape ur reality 

Cartoons > real life actors

Probably hate seafood or afraid of the sea (ironic as it is)

Nostalgia is your best friend

Hurt/Comfort is your favourite AO3 tag

You collect random shit or you have a memory box

You are the reason child leashes were invented

You got into real dangerous situations as a kid and you’re wondering how you lived through that

Your comfort characters all got it the worst or are dead

If your favourite is Zyglavis:

How are those high expectations treatin ya? 

You either want to get into medical, sciences, or law

When you were younger you got enrolled in extra classes (swimming, piano, ballet, etc)

Your parents encouraged creativity until you got older and they told you to choose a more “realistic” goal

Good grades = everything and you’ll pull all-nighters to finish tasks or assignments

Former gifted student 

The actual smart kid in class 

YOU HAVE SELF ESTEEM/CONFIDENCE ISSUES

80s are not good enough for you or your parents

Overachiever for any reason 

Sleep? What is sleep?

A dom or a brat

You have strict parents or you have had pretty loose rules growing up

You had a lot of friends in grade school and now you have like 4 friends

You are no longer human, you’re just a walking husk of stress

If your favourite is Krioff:

You want to fuck one of Krioff’s family members

You have siblings

A pyromaniac or deathly afraid of fire

Commitment issues

You watch or ur a sports fan

You own an iPhone 6

You’ve ate forbidden items or you’ve thought about it (the fish tank pebbles, erasers, glass, slime, etc)

Everyone thinks you’re the awkward kid but no you’re just shy

You actually like the ocean waves

Once people get to know you, they got a whole thing coming for them

You either suck at driving or can’t drive

A great listener but you don’t feel like you give good advice

Conflict is a no no for you

You definitely had a glow up

You’ve befriended the seniors growing up

You either don’t like kids or you love them

You have a sweet tooth and everyone questions how you are not diabetic with the amount of sweets you’ve consumed

If your favourite is Aigonorus:

You’re either an insomniac or a hypersomniac. Whichever one, you don’t know how much sleep is enough sleep

You’re probably a sub

Commitment or abandonment issues

Desperate for validation and appreciation

touch/love/attention starved

You have a stuffed animal collection or you still have those childhood stuffed animals

You love the idea of love but you are not ready to deal with breakups

You wish you didn’t care but you care too much

Your aesthetic is cutecore

Probably into maid cat boys

Studio Ghibli or Sanrio stan

Comfort > style anyday

You only own sneakers nothing else

If your favourite is Partheno:

You’re definitely not into just guys 

You’re a drama kid and you are here for the tea whether it involves you or not

you have the receipts for everything

You were the one kid that played “family” or “house” every recess

no one knows where you get all your cute shit but it serves

have been suspected of witchcraft or considered the dark arts

Stole makeup from your fam as a kid and played with it

HIDE THE TRAUMA. HIDE THE PAST.

You already have a senior quote picked out

You’re either really horny or you just want to cry over how much you love so and so

“Why do men-”

You really want to own that Partheno doll in that one CG

Your most used social media app is Instagram or Snapchat

Your favourite demon brother from Obey Me is most likely Asmodeus 

If your favourite is Tauxolouve:

Your favourite KBTBB guy is either Baba or Mamo

You’re into music or theatre

Your ideal date is to go to an opera or a museum

You say you like/dislike something but end up changing ur mind later or when you try it out

In your opinion, the music nowadays is just not it

You recently found a receipt from Walmart for something you bought 5 months ago

Anniversaries are important

When making decisions, you pick the worst possible one

Your most expensive clothing items are your shoes or jewelry

You wish you could attend a ball and marry into royalty, like Cinderella

You like the idea of soulmates or string of fate 

Obviously or secretly insecure/self deprecating but you’ll raise all hell if your loved ones talk shit abt themselves

You want your partner to propose first

You like the underrated characters or your favourite characters are unappreciated

If your favourite is Karno you are:

You have childhood trauma, some of you are just not aware of it

You’re the parent of the group

You enjoy ships that have a mom/dad dynamic

Either you’re banned from the kitchen or you’re the one banning people from the kitchen

You were threated with the slipper or you threaten with the slipper

As a kid, you enjoyed Dora or Ni Hao Kai Lan

Your favourite trope is the found family trope

Either you’re an example to your family or you keep getting compared to other kids

An angel around the family but a chaotic bastard with others

You’re probably into some really kinky shit

You like Dangonronpa

Spiritual or religious

Probably had an imaginary friend 

You decided you were gonna turn your life around after reading/watching something and went back to the hot mess you were in 3 days

[asktheheirofslytherin]

[ooc: how did you get into being Voldy? Was it for fun? I’m quite interested in knowing a rp’s irl and you can not answer if it makes you uncomfortable :)]

[ooc: Oooh, such a good question! I am totally cool with questions about my irl!

Also I apologize in advance bc this is going to get long, haha. Long story short - I kind of...fell into Lord Voldemort.

I was about 9 when I read CoS for the first time, and it was the first time that I can remember being introduced to a villain with a backstory. All my previous kiddie fantasy just had "the bad guy," or maybe a misguided dragon with a redemption arc, or a Draco level childhood nemesis. But this Tom Riddle guy - not only would there clearly be no redemption arc, but he had been a student, with a name and a childhood, and then he got super evil for some reason? Why? I'm also lowkey impressed - Riddle came from an orphanage, had shit going for him - but then he gets to go to Hogwarts. He was charismatic, popular, head boy.

I have social anxiety. By 9, I was having panic attacks already. I was being bullied. And I had this anger about it, this rage. (Seriously - I have an old diary from fifth grade where I write how everyone could go fuck the hell off). Tom Riddle - he managed to command some respect despite his background. He became something of a role model.

And then a few years later the CoS movie came out. And Tom Riddle was HOT. And I say as much to my friends, who naturally decided I was married to him. It becomes a big running gag. (I mean, if my other friend was married to Anakin Skywalker, I could totally be married to Tom Riddle.)

And in the meantime, I'm finding myself drawn to villains in a lot of the media I'm consuming. By the time I am 13, it's my thing. I'm the one in my friend group that has a thing for the villain. My very first fanfic I ever wrote was in middle school for the His Dark Materials Trilogy. It was about Lord Asriel and Ms. Coulter.

So anyway, I discovered fic at 13. I read a Tom Riddle /Ginny Weasley fic that changed my life. I printed it out. It was only rated PG but it was so...hot is the wrong word, bc it's all in their heads, he's not even in possession of a body for most of it. But shit. I start shipping Tom/Ginny. Then I start shipping Bellamort (though it's a love/hate relationship with the ship at that point). I create a blatant self-insert OC and write fics with her in it. But I also am writing a lot of shit from his POV. By the time I'm 15, I'm writing so much Lord Voldemort fic, I'm the "Voldemort girl" in my friend group.

I'm sure the entire High school thought of me as Voldemort girl by that point. And all this time I'm writing. And also at this time, everytime I walk into a store or am having a bad anxiety day, I ask myself what Tom Riddle would do and I push through. I have a major depressive episode at 17 and I'm living out of pure spite with LV as my role model. At 17 I'm still married to Voldemort, btw. My best friend made us an "anniversary" card every Halloween from ages 13-17.

I start college. I start writing a lot of original fiction - and still LV stuff, just for me. Somehow I became Voldemort Girl at college too, but it's not a bad thing. One of my college friends tells me I should rp on tumblr. I already have a fandom blog, how have I not run into rp? So I make one - but for a marvel OC I had, and then my Harry Potter OC. It took me another year to start writing as LV. And now I'm here.

I'm...still not entirely sure about what vibe I must give off - I said "I actually run a Lord Voldemort fan blog" to some people at work a while ago (we were talking about our nerdiest hobbies, it was justified, haha) and all three of them were not surprised in the slightest. One of them said "of course you do." Like...I thought I was pretty "normal" at work. How do the vibes happen? HOW???

But anyway, that is how I got into Lord Voldemort. I don't understand it anymore than you do. But I'm having a lot of fun!]]

[figonas]

Normally my personal posts are the text equivalent of me talking to myself, but this one is gonna be a lil emo sorry in advance 😬

I’ve been a writer for many years, I started with horrible self insert Jonas Brother’s fanfiction back in MIDDLE SCHOOL, so approximately 10,000 years ago. Until a few months ago the only original pieces of mine that anyone read were for school assignments in various creative writing classes. I attribute this newfound confidence and willingness to share my work to my irl best friend @abundanceofklingons who has been my OG beta reader & supporter (even tho she’s mad at me for abandoning my OCs in favor of fanfic lately 😂💚). As well as some of the truly incredible people I’ve come to know recently who I would just like to take a moment to thank. Your support and friendship means a lot to me and I’m feeling emo about it so now you will too 😈

@jurdanhell who threw out a random prompt during a conversation and encouraged me to write into a full fic and post my writing for the first time. Not to mention helped promote the hell out of said fic. They’re a writer I really admire and have become a friend that encourages me to keep writing and posting my work. The backbone of the tfota fandom, who keeps us all supplied with memes & peak fanfic recs, as well as someone who occasionally saves my fics from the chopping block when I get too hyper critical. 💚💚

@euridce My lovely Queen of Faerie, who is one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met and has become such a close friend in such a short amount of time. Their own ability to create a character that feels like a real & believable person, supernatural abilities aside, (yes I’m talking about Gen) is something I admire about them. They have a special eye for detail that got straight to the root of the issues with my last fic and helped me turn it into something I’m proud of. ilysm 💚💚

@lordoftermites My High King who is Cardan incarnate and one of the funniest people I’ve ever met. Growing so close to you and Kaie in such a short time has been such a blessing. Felix is there to yell at me for hurting his feelings with my emotional fics and have a meltdown with me over Jurdan feels any day of the week. ily 💚💚

@slightlyrebelliouswriter23 a writer I admire like NO OTHER I literally have a mini meltdown every time you share something of mine. The first stranger (at the time) to ask to be on my tag list, which made me want to lay down and stare into space for 12 hours. I’m very happy to know you. 💚💚

Not to mention those of you who have left encouraging comments or tags that have made me scream just a lil; @laequiem @braiawrites @themistressofrevels7 @thewickedkings @thatrandomfangirlll @basilclippings @all-the-damn-vampires @sassypageturner @wraithberrywine and many others who have liked or left kudos on my works. I see every single one of you and you have no idea what it means to me.

If I left you out of being tagged just know I definitely saw your like/reblog/tag/comment/kudos/reply etc. and I loved it more than words can express. Even if I didn’t tag you know I have a screenshot saved of your contribution, I look at it when I’m sad and it makes me want to write.

Sorry to throw all the feelings at you guys but I’ve been very overwhelmed by the support of my friends here and I just wanted to express my gratitude for you guys. 💚💚💚💚💚 x 10million!!!!!!

[madsdefencesquad]

another kevison fanfic none of you asked for (also on ao3):

[Thread] Who's the nicest celeb you've met in real life?

-

Kevin Pearson. Was an extra for one of his movies and couldn’t be any nicer. Chatted with us even though technically you weren’t supposed to. He joked around a lot and showed us pics of his family. Real top bloke.

-

I met this guy once on vacation in Italy. We were at a table next to him and my newborn was screaming bloody murder, mom was in the bathroom. Couldn’t quite calm my son and I was getting real embarrassed with the loud noise. Some of the waiters came over to their table to ask if they wanted to move but Kevin shut them down immediately. Actually got a bit cross that they even suggested it. His wife suggested to rock my baby on the side to make him stop and he did! She knows a few tricks having twins and stuff. Also shared that joy/misery thing of being first time parents. Anyway, they left first (they got there earlier) and we learned after that they paid for our meals too. Couldn’t believe it.

replied: Wow. That’s the so fucking nice of them.

replied: Yeah made my wife cry haha

-

I’ve heard only good things about him too! My mom lives in Philly and his brother was running for city council a few years back and he was there and took photos with all the Korean mamas including my own and my grandma! apparently he smells really expensive :P

-

Didn’t know that I was fully chatting up his wife at Starbucks until I saw a pic of them at the premiere for one of his movies. I’d be embarrassed by my god she was fantastic! 10/10 would’ve gone for it if I wasnt such a potato

replied: And wasn’t married.

replied: That too

-

My daughter was an extra on one of his movies and says he’s the nicest guy and “such a dad” lol! And her dad’s a real “dad” dad so for her to say that about a famous actor is funny

-

I used to teach his kids in my kindergarten class. Daughter’s wicked smart. I can tell you all the mothers would have a fit every time he’d come by to pick them up and if it’s not his wife or them together, it’s him. Very hands on. I’d say that counts for nice.

-

Rocked out to a Lady Gaga show with him and his wife in Vegas. His wife and I are practically best friends now! We’re on first name basis ;)

replied: Sounds fun! What were they there for if you don’t mind me asking? Coz isn’t he like sober now?

replied to a reply: I think it was for a niece’s birthday or something? Couldn’t remember, was pretty wild night :P And I didn’t see any drinks.Even his wife wasn’t drinking I think? They were literally there to enjoy Gaga like the rest of us

-

I love hearing stories about him like this because it always looks like he’s such a pretentious pretty boy jerk especially back in the day

replied: Getting your life sorted can change a man

replied to a reply: Yeah he’s pretty mellowed out since getting sober. He’s had that DUI and rehab stint but now he’s a real family man and seems to love his wife very much. Good for him.

-

Doesn’t he remind you of George Clooney? Got married late and had boy girl twins and is loving life!

replied: True!!

-

Not sure if everybody knows but his wife Madison is pretty big in the interior design space especially coz she like pretty much runs their fam construction business. I follow her on Insta and I know everyone has a crush on Kevin but I’d pick her over him any day!

replied: OMG YES SAME! She puts together these amazing DIY palettes and I’m obsessed! I’d also pick her over him any day even just to pick her brain

replied to a reply: She also recommends the best books!!!

-

My mom’s in the planning side of construction and met his wife in West Chester. She did a presentation and afterwards her and my mom shared parenting tips like they’re in some mom club. Apparently she was the sweetest and her babies are adorable and also Kevin calls a lot lol

-

Met him at the airport, wife’s a huge fan of the manny so sucked my gut to ask for a pic. When he found out it’s for the missus, he recorded a special vid saying his iconic line. Missus was over the moon. Real good fella

replied: MANNY SAY WHAAATTTTT

replied: That’s so nice

replied: He did for my mom as well! All the moms love him!

-

Kevin Pearson helped re-build my grandparents’ burned down convenience store. Couldn’t thank him enough even if I tried

replied: Wow, that’s real generous. How are the grandparents?

replied to a reply: Thanks! They’re over the moon. They have a house near the area but gran said he’d come by with his kids from time to time. Even if gran didn’t want to, they always insisted to pay for whatever the kids wanted.

-

Delivered the cake for his uncle (grandpa’s?) wedding and he gave a seriously generous tip. Oh and his wife packed me pigs in the blanket.

replied: Pigs in the blanket?! What in the middle school

replied: Apparently it was the uncle/grandad’s favorite or something and they double ordered. But who cares free food!

replied to a reply: Did it come with ketchup?

replied to a reply: Hot, wrapped in foil and handful of ketchup packets. I felt like one of the kids

-

Not him but his brother who’s like a big shot in politics right now. Real top guy and had the best laugh

-

This doesn’t sound real but I’ve bumped into him literally five times over the past year he’ll probably think I’m some stalker. Rarely saw him without his family and once his kid threw a ball at me. He apologised but c’mon you either throw a ball or bounce it no big deal. Besides, that kid has David Beckham’s kids manners. Real like English folk polite it’s insane

replied: That’s always nice to hear that celebrity kids aren’t spoiled brats. We know a few good of them are

replied to a reply: Celebrity kids are different from kid celebrities though

replied to a reply: Didn’t say they were the same? Just saying that for a kid of someone so rich and famous you’d think they’d be a bit more spoiled but they weren’t at all and was beyond respectful and that’s a testament to the parents.

replied to a reply: Agree. I’ve met this particular celebrity’s kids and mind you they’re teens now but god they were just awful and pretentious. Even more than their famous parent which is saying something

-

Not him but I did meet that actress that was so embarrassingly flirty around him during the press conference of hat film he did a few years back. She’s a real bitch and so fake and I’m so glad she’s been dropped from the sequel

replied: Oh god yeah I remember her. She was so obnoxious laughing at everything he said like stfu it’s not that funny!!!! The secondhand embarrassment watching her and him being all polite about it *chills*

replied: She’s the worst. No talent

replied to a reply: I was an extra for some scenes in that movie and she was WAY worse and such a diva for someone unknown. Kevin’s a real nice guy though and just let her be. He talks about his wife and kids a lot but she would not take a hint!

replied to a reply: That is just embarrassing

-

Alright story time. Was working as a barista at a cafe and it was one of those really shitty days. He came in, ordered and waited and was all nice and took some pics with fans. Anyway, like I said shitty day so I mixed up his coffee order and got him two lattes instead of cappuccinos. Mind you, it was a busy asf day as well and I was the only one making coffees. He comes over and tells me and I apologise but by this time my manager’s already all up on my ass for serving Kevin Pearson incorrectly. He kept apologising to him and berating me till Kevin himself stepped in and told the manager off. But like calmly and stuff like it’s no big deal and people make mistakes whatever and I kid you fucking not he apologised to me too and said I was doing a good job. He probably won’t know how much that meant to me after an already shitty as day but it did. I made sure to make him the best fucking cappuccinos

replied: I’ve met him in irl too and he is this!

-

I saw him sitting at a cafe with his daughter. Super nice. Asked him if I could get an autograph for my mom who’s a huge fan. He asked me some questions about her and wrote a really nice autograph, for her. His daughter stuck one of her stickers on there too and my mom loved that even more. I told him where she works (at a grocers) and he went out of his way to shop there the next day and made a point to look for her and chat. Great, great dude

replied: That is so fucking cool man. And your mom must’ve been so happy!

replied to a reply: She was over the moon! She loves his wife too! Apparently she was even chattier than Kevin haha

-

Met him at the airport. I was an employee and he had some TSA questions. Genuinely nice and friendly, chatted for about 15min. After he was set, we shook hands, he had his kids say thank you individually with a high five. Adorable. His wife was super nice and friendly too. Very good social interaction, would participate again

[a-walking-fandom-reference]

4, 16, 29, 38 and 47 for the aspec asks, I hope you're having an okay day🛸

thanks! 🥰🛸i hope you are also having an okay day and that this is even a little bit readable 😂

4. Are you romance favorable, neutral, or repulsed?

when i myself am involved i’m 100% romance repulsed, the idea of being in a romantic relationship makes me sick. certain things that have more romantic implications can also make me uncomfortable but i’m also touch adverse a lot so. when dealing with romance in media it fluctuates. i obviously enjoy shipping characters and i watch hallmark movies a lot. but it’s complicated anything could trigger me to be romance repulsed and not even be able to interact with fictional romance. i read fanfic a lot too but i tend to enjoy the build up to a relationship more then i like when they actually get together. idk. but i don’t really enjoy romance in movies. like i watch hallmark because it’s predictable and fun to make more interesting with weird headcanons and jokes but i wouldn’t watch a regular romance movie. i need romance in small doses between like friends and family and interesting plot.

16. What confuses you about typical romantic relationships?

idk. a lot of it. like i understand it in concept but i think my biggest confusion is that people hold their romantic partner above all other people in their life. people will say that they care about other kinds of relationships the same it’s just different and that romantic love isn’t more important than any other.. but at the end of the day, it doesn’t seem like people really feel that even when they say it. idk amatonormativity is confusing and the worst.

29. Were you ever confused about “love” or romance as a kid? Are you still confused about it?

yes definitely. i didn’t understand people dating in elementary school or having crushes. i was like uh aren’t we kind of young like what does any of that mean do you even hang out outside of school? this is fourth grade? and then once middle school happened people were dating more and i still didn’t get it but i also didn’t really think about it. i was going through a lot and was in and out of doctors. also i was the kid that would be asked out as a joke or a dare so. in high school i realized i was aroace but my best friend started dating and it was just confusing. i guess you could say i’m still kind of confused. like i get it but i don’t realllly get it. love is a weird thing for me it’s just like a word i use for something or someone that means something to me i guess? like love means something to me but also it’s this mysterious thing idk

38. How many arospecs do you know online / IRL ?

i know lots of arospecs online many of my beloved besties on here are arospec. and my bestie irl is aroace! aros just tend to find each other we stick together like sticky frogs.

47. What are your favorite aromantic symbols?

i mean arrows… i will claim every character that uses a bow and arrow. i mean most aro symbols are good. i mean FROGS 🐸. aardvarks!!

send me a number from the arospec ask game