#i wanna feel like nothing but the structure of my body keeps me from being thin

[hibiscuts]

the body dysmorphia is hitting hard tonight boys 😔

[growth-crazy-girl]

Extreme Slime Expansion

Warning: Extreme Rapid Weight Gain Fantasy Scenario 😜

Ok I normally don’t do long form writing, but I wanted to put this somewhere lol. One of my biggest fantasies is myself being a slime girl with the ability to pump up humans with my slime. I’m not into NC so only if willing, but I’d wanna pump up a skinny girl hundreds and hundreds of pounds in a matter of minutes, and then some 🤤

I’d start by thickening her up all around, watching her skinny thighs fill out, her rear showing more definition, her breasts slowly becoming fuller and rounder, the rest of her body developing a layer of supple fat. My slime works as a biological imitator, so my cells instantly mutate to whatever host cells I want to replicate. In other words, her body is genuinely gaining all of this weight, and I can mold her in any way I want

First I’d concentrate my slime straight to her lower half. Rapidly her hips widen, her thighs thicken, her cheeks swell with pounds and pounds of fat and flesh, and her skin keeps up the pace, the volume and surface area of her ass increase exponentially. I push her up against the mirror so she can see how bottom heavy she’s becoming, going from “thick” to “bbw pear” to “cartoon mom” and beyond, dense fat packed into her hips and thighs and enormous cheeks

Next I’d focus on her belly, slime pumping into her pound after pound until her gut sprawls out before her, love handles turning into dense fat rolls, belly button swelling up on all sides and getting deep. I grab her hanging belly as it sags lower and jiggle it around. Still though it’s stuffed so full of fat and adipose that it extends out straight in front of her, and she moans feeling the vibrations jiggle through hundreds of pounds of new tissue across her body

Suddenly her boobs explode outward in size as I finally concentrate my full power on them, surging with glutted fat and newfound breast tissue. Rivers of slime can be heard forcibly gushing their way into the now ocean of titmeat. Of course I have to force a ton of slime into her nipples as well, swelling them up huge and hard, the size of an average girl’s dildo. Each boob rolls to the side of her gut, still riding as firm on her chest as possible at this size

As she blows through the entire alphabet of bra sizes and into the unknown, I can’t help but squeeze a few dozen collective pounds into fattening her fupa and entire vulva, giving her a wobbling, gravid pussy bigger than her head, and a clit bigger than a soup bowl

She must be, what, 600-700 pounds now? I can only imagine the mixture of fear and excitement she’d be feeling, knowing she let me make her as big as I wanted. Surely we must be done right? She can’t even see the mirror anymore! Little does she know we’re just getting started…

I broadened my slime flow to the rest of her body and begin pumping. Her only request was to maintain some semblance of mobility, and I planned to happily oblige.

Too much weight to carry? Slime poured into her muscles to beef them up, and she modifies her stance to accommodate the enormous amount of new muscle needed to keep her mountainous ass cheeks lofty and firm, to keep her legs from buckling under the sheer weight. Not enough structural integrity? Slime reinforces her bones, strengthens her joints and ligaments, adding even more fat and skin in the right places to maintain balance. Heart going to stop from pure insane obesity? The chambers of her heart suck up my slime like a sponge, becoming like biological steel. I’ll shape and mold her body in any way necessary to maintain every bodily function, maintain some human resemblance…. All so she can take more.

More fat. More slime. MORE.

I finally realize that she’s going to need more height and a larger frame overall or else the laws of physics will catch up with us, and so the massive pile of woman begins growing up as well as out in every direction.

Awww but now she’s not visibly getting much bigger! 20 pounds a second looks like nothing on her, and that’s no fun 😏 So I take a deep breath, enter her every remaining orifice, and make one final push

*GLUUUUUURGLRGLRGLRGLRG*

Her body sounds like a fire hydrant in reverse as hundreds of gallons of slime force there way into her mountainous form, instantly turning into flesh and bone and fat. Soooo much fat.

Finally I stop when I hit that magical number- 2000lbs. I can’t wait to tease her, “you literally weigh a ton, you’re literally as big as an elephant, it might take some getting used to, but you can walk waddle short distances!”

I stepped back to admire my handiwork. This gigantic blob of a once skinny woman had me drooling over her every roll and curve. I was particularly proud of her gargantuan ass cheeks that were each the size of a refrigerator, and yet miraculously didn’t touch the ground, instead perpetually wobbling and jiggling acting as a counterweight to the insane amount of flesh forced into her boobs, belly, and pussy.

“MMMMMMMMMM” I heard her moan as she tried to lean forward to rest on her boulder of a belly, “I’m soooooo hungryyyyyy”

I stood behind her, admiring that I could now see her enormous blubbery vulva, glistening and dripping as a testament to how horny and sensitive I’d made her

“Me too babe, me too 🥵🤤😋”

***Dont expect long form written content or stories from me like this in the future, this is a super rare occurrence 😜😜😜

[nephilimcursed]

Bella's Route: Haunted Dark Bridal (G-Edition) - Prologue Part One

The game loads strangely, with slight distortion to your screen. You are no longer... playing as Yui. How strange, instead there is a dark haired girl with peircing, warm gold eyes in the corner of the screen. The background is a dark forest at night, black goo seeps over the leaves.

Bella: "Huh, well that was rougher than most of my fights..."

Bella: (It's been a while since a demon has given me that good of a fight. Maybe it's because I haven't eaten in a while...)

Your character gives her angel blade a spin before putting it back inside the sheath.

Bella: (I should consider stopping by a gas station or something. The Clave only give me a limited amount of money, so I'll only be able to afford Ramen again... but it's better than nothing. Plus it's been 5 days since my last meal.)

Bella: (I'm so thirsty... I don't have enough pecunia to buy a drink though. I suppose water from a river can do.)

Bella: (Ahh- My shoulder was wounded. It's deep, if it had gone through even an inch more, it would have been fully through my flesh and bone. Ouch... It's stinging by the moment.)

Bella: (If only I still had my stele, all I'd have to do is draw a rune on myself to heal. I should have never lost it to those Moloch demons back in New York.)

Bella: (Since I can't go to a Shadowhunter Institue unless ordered, I suppose I'll have to wait to get another. Which means no more runes for a while. I have to heal the human way.)

Bella: (I saw the gas station up the road, I can walk there, wrap up my shoulder, and get food. Then... back to being ordnance.)

Your character trudges up the road to a gas station, and the background changes to that of a interior of a gas station.

Bella: (Finally, that was a longer walk than I thought.)

Bella: "Mphm, ramen..."

Bella: (I'm kinda sick of this, this has been all I've had for a few months now. But at least it keeps my body running in a way. I should probably try to find a place to get some sleep sometime too.)

Bella: (Now that I have this though, I should get bandages and disinfectant. Without my stele, I could get infected.)

Your character walks to the tiny section of mini supplies for the medical supplies.

Bella: (Good, this will cost me all my money for the week. But at least it'll be enough to heal me and gain some of my strength back.)

Bella: (Why does it feel like... someone is looking at me?)

Your character turns, to spot our first familiar face, Ayato Sakamaki. He is simply staring at her as if to admire her figure.

Bella: (Ew... what a fucking creep. He has nothing better to do, huh? Argh, men...)

Bella: (Whoa, that bone structure though... and those eyes. They're like pure emeralds.)

We see another familiar face appear in the scene, Yui. It's strange, seeing her not in the corner, but on the same scale as Ayato. She looks quite worried. There is a Japanese audio, but it seems your character cannot understand the language.

Bella: (That boy... He's familiar... That doesn't matter- he's acting with a lot of disrespect toward the poor girl...)

Bella: (Should I butt in?)

CHOOSE:

Intervene <<<<♡

Don't Intervene

You chose Intervene.

Bella: "Hey, I don't think that's a very nice way to talk to a girl."

Ayato: "Hm? What did you say...?"

Bella: "I said, fuck off. I couldn't understand what the fuck you were saying, but I know you addressed her in a hostile way."

Ayato: "What makes you think you can tell ore-sama what to say to chichinashi, melons?"

Bella: "Don't call me melons, Christmas."

Ayato: "Christmas??"

Bella: "Yeah, you have red hair and green eyes, idiot. If you wanna pick a fight with me, be aware I'll snap back."

Ayato: "..."

Ayato: "Chichinashi! Hurry and come back to the car."

Ayato exits. Yui goes to follow.

Bella: "Wait one second."

Yui:"Hm?"

Bella: "Are you okay...? If he's not treating you right, I can help."

Yui: "Oh... That's very kind of you, but when Ayato-kun gets like this... Best thing to do is do what he says..."

Bella: (I can't help her if she doesn't let me...)

Bella: "Alright, but hey, take my number. If you want, call me. If I'm still in town, I'll get you away."

Your character hands Yui a slip of paper with your number on it.

Yui: "Oh... How nice of you. Thank you so much..."

Bella: "Yeah, what's your name, kid?"

Yui: "My name is Yui Komori... Who are you?"

Bella: "Bella Wayland, nice to meet you, Ms Komori."

Yui: "Nice to meet you too... Thank you."

Ayato: "CHICHINASHI!!!"

Yui: "Kya...! I better go..."

Bella: "Keep my number, be safe."

Yui: "Thank you again... goodbye..."

Bella: "Arrivederci."

Yui leaves, leaving Bella to pay for her food and leave.

[deadangelzz]

heyyyyy :3

regarding ur ask game u rbed - im super duper interested in DID n have recurring hyperfixations on it (in the most normal way possible i promise i just have a special interest in psychology sobbing)

pls answer literally any questions u like i dont wanna type out every individual one........ thank u ily

(Answers to some questions below the cut! :D)

Just so no assumptions are made, I feel like I should start by saying that our experience isn’t the same as every other systems experience! This is just what our personal experience with being a system is like! I’m sure you’re already aware of that but sometimes it’s not always at the forefront of people’s minds when talking about CDDs…

❤️ - What type of CDD do you have?

We’re a polyfragmented DID system! Polyfragmentation is when a system has an overall more complex structure (easily splitting sometimes from “every day stress”, complex innerworlds/headspaces, more specific roles beyond caretaker or trauma holder, etcetera) than a non-polyfrag system! It’s not a medically recognized term as far as we’re aware but you can find more info about them on tumblr too! A lot of systems like us go more in depth about their experience as a polyfrag system!

📼 - Do you have any non-human alters? If yes, which species are the majority of them?

We have a lot of non-human alters! We have a couple of moth people (if that’s even what you would call them?? even they don’t really seem to know LMAO), a whole bunch of demons for some reason, and some that aren’t really able to be explained and are just kind of nothing and also everything?

🎞️ - Do the alters in your system use more medical coined roles or more community coined roles? Or both/neither? Do you find them useful?

We use a mixture of both! We’ve found that community coined roles help us understand our jobs a lot better and the overall relationship some of the more job-oriented alters have with the system!

🎙️- Does the taste in music vary a lot between different alters?

I would say so! I think we all enjoy the same music but our preferences are also different. Some of us like death metal and on the opposite end of the spectrum some of us love trashy 2000s pop

⚡️ - What does switching feel like for you? Does it vary between alters?

I’m not sure if it really varies between alters but I think for the most part in my experience switching feels like a disconnection from the mind and body. I can’t really keep one train of thought or remember anything that happened after switching

🌱 - Do you have a headspace? If yes, describe it!

We do have a headspace! It’s split up into different neighborhoods or sections where different alters live. As far as I’m aware these aren’t really split up for any real organizational reason anyone can go to and from different sections if they want!

🍫 - How does your system handle in system disagreements in general?

The way we handle it almost entirely depends on the alter. Some alters we put in a get along shirt and some we have to hold them back from doing something stupid /lh

I hope this was informative in some way! It was a lot of fun to answer these!

(also I love your blog so much…hilson posts keep me thriving)

-Stacey, Gwen

[rei-caldombra]

Yubisaki to Renren Anime Episode 4 and 5 Review - Love Blossoming in a Cosco and Growing Closer in Healthy Ways.

I really wanna talk more about Yubisaki to Renren. If you haven't read my first impressions post, I really love this show so far. And these episodes keep this show going strong. I’ll be covering my thoughts on episodes 4 and 5. I’ll be starting with 4 then moving onward. I basically wrote this as I watched the episodes so it will be structured more chronologically than my usual posts. Let me know if that’s something you like or don’t like if you feel strongly about it. As Itsuomi would say, do you? Or do you not?

I like the awkwardness on Rin’s romantic side of things. It’s cute how they are cheering on Itsuomi and Yuki. I’m excited to see how this continues between these two as a backdrop to the main romantic pairing. I like the small bits of perspective we get from Nagi. I can see the potential setup for him bringing up how he does not like seeing girls cry from Itsuomi’s rejections. If he ends up rejecting Rin he could be the one causing that thing he hates. 

We also got a bit more of Oushi, with some legit beef growing between him and Itsuomi. I think the most interesting part of this segment is Itsuomi covering Yuki’s eyes. He is clearly trying to prevent Yuki from seeing the conflict. I’m looking forward to how this battle between men continues. 

I also really appreciate great friend Rin telling Yuki about Itsuomi’s tone of voice. This helps her understand a perspective she cannot on her own. This helps Yuki feel more confident about the idea that he treats her differently in a positive way. We see her being unsure about how he truly feels about her. It gives her another perspective to help her look at the situation more holistically. 

Now I have a confession to make. The piece of info that pushed me to watch this show was learning that there are lovely romantic shenanigans at a Cosco. I heard about and looked into this show because of that. Hopefully it is not disappointing to know that point is what had the most reach out of everything wonderful about this show lol. The Cosco segment does not disappoint, I enjoyed seeing them react to oversized food and them providing the substance for cute interactions. This is an accurate depiction of Cosco and the power it holds. 

Now on to episode 5, where I will be starting with my main talking point. It seems like there is some controversy around him being much touchier than the average character. I’m gonna talk at length on this point. This is definitely true, I noticed this pretty quickly. From touching people’s shoulders and hands casually to the more directly intimate things he does in this episode. Especially for the average Japanese character, he is very touchy. For normal Japanese society and the media, from my understanding, this is very abnormal. I can understand if they have a stronger reaction than me, who would not bat an eye at a lot of this. As I see it currently, there is nothing problematic about his behavior as she clearly expresses her consent to what he does, and we see how he changes his behavior as he interacts with her more. 

I can see where this perspective could come from. As someone who is unable to vocalize, that would make it harder for her to express feelings like discomfort or a lack of consent. This is an important idea when it comes to interacting with people in general but especially disabled people. It’s good to be perceptive of this and respect people’s boundaries. But that does not mean she is entirely unable to express consent. She has multiple options she could take to make it clear to him if she was uncomfortable. Her body language could show this, like her shrinking down. She could directly move herself or move his arm away. She could also use her phone to use text to communicate as they do multiple times in this episode. Just because she does not speak does not mean she can be unable to express consent. 

So far with their interactions she has not reacted negatively to any of his physical advances. So there is no precedent currently set for him thinking she will be uncomfortable. It is understandable for him to do what comes naturally to him, then back off if she takes issue with that. You should err on the side of caution when interacting with people you don’t know the boundaries of. But as of now she has never taken any issue with his behavior. They have known each other for a bit and clearly expressed that she enjoys spending time with him. 

We also have the benefit of seeing directly into her mind. So we know that she is comfortable with this and enjoying it. We know there is no notable pressure in her mind that would make her think she couldn’t take action if she was uncomfortable. He has never done anything that would make her feel threatened. There is pressure from her being in his house, meaning he would be in a stronger position to take advantage of her. There can be pressure from her being in his place. But nothing he has done would make her feel unsafe being with him, and he did nothing to pressure her into accepting. Later when he keeps asking more questions, he stops to ask her if these questions are making her uncomfortable. I do think he could have asked earlier as he says he should have. But it makes sense that he asks this after she previously responded “sorry” instead of answering his question. That gave him a clear reason to think he may have made her uncomfortable. You should also keep in mind that with this series trying to write grounded, realistic characters, people are not going to act perfect. I think this is doing a good job of portraying a character who is interacting with someone they don’t exactly know how to interact with. He is not perfect, but he is acting with good intentions and learning to be better. And this fits with his character, of being someone who desires to learn. And you cannot learn without doing. Which he does by interacting with Yuki then changing if needed. We see him learning from her responses and understanding her better. He previously grabbed her hand roughly, now he grabs her softly. When he tickles her, she pushes him away, so he stops. He asks her what the boundaries are, and does not push those boundaries until he gets the full answer later. Most direct of all, she chooses to say that she is not setting any physical boundaries with him. And then after understanding that he pushes forward to his furthest escalation of kissing her hand. How many more confirmations of healthy consent does one need? Consent is a nuanced topic that can differ from person to person, but I really think this episode should cover reasonable ideas of consent. This is a very long winded way of saying that to me her consent to his advances is clearly established. This is a fantastic showing of two characters getting to know each other and realizing each other’s boundaries. It’s rare to get such great chemistry when it comes to characters getting to know each other. I see nothing bad here.

Moving on from the main topic now. The different ways they communicate in this episode is so cute. I absolutely love them conversing through writing on the journal pages. This felt so natural and was super cute. 

I'm also glad they brought up the vocalization point in more detail. People telling her she has a weird voice made her insecure about vocalizing outside of her family. That’s very sad and makes sense as something that happened. And is a natural thing for him to ask about. His curiosity comes across as very genuine and endearing. I really see his deep desire to get to know her better. I really love these two as a couple. Their chemistry is great and their interactions are so wholesome and engrossing. 

I appreciate how fast everything is moving. We aren’t even 6 episodes in and most of the people interested in someone are making it very clear. Emma is trying way too hard with Itsuomi and causing some drama because of that. While kissing a hand can be seen as not romantic in some cultures that’s a bit harder to explain away as him just being curious and thinking Yuki’s cute. Rin is trying but kinda failing, cmon girl you got this. Yuki is not confessing but saying anything is fine with him goes pretty far. I could actually see Kyouya being dense enough to not see her making moves but could also see him being aware. Oushi’s behavior could be seen as just overly protective and a bit possessive rather than romantic but I think it’s probably going to go in the romantic direction. Everyone feels very natural, sweet and awkward in the best ways. I’m very excited to see how things continue both romantically and for the conflicts that are being set up. 

Another set of great episodes! If I continue to feel the passion to write about this, I’ll continue doing incremental reviews rather than waiting until the end to do one more. Don’t assume that I’m not enjoying it anymore if you don’t see another right away though. Thanks for reading!

[petertingle-yipyip]

MAD AT GOD - MATT MURDOCK

season 2b - maybe my soulmate died

tags: @dusstory @americaarse @mayasaurus--rex @astrobees @johnmurphys-sass @ironprincessstranger // five // epilogue //masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Word Count: 4,825

Summary: It all come crashing down in the final face off against Elektra and the Hand. Seven go in, Six come out. But part of her gets buried too, so maybe five and a half.

“I don’t want any part of this.” Luke shook his head and paced the small waiting area. “I don’t care how dangerous you say these people are.”

“Great.” You groaned. “Another moral ground.”

“Moral high- Because I don’t want to blow up a building!”

“An empty building! And they’re hardly even people anymore!”

“Isn’t that your friend with the swords?”

You scoffed. “My friend died in front of me months ago. That’s only the Black Sky and she won’t hesitate again when it comes to killing us!”

“So that makes this okay?”

“That makes it my problem! You don’t have to even touch the explosives but you’re not stopping this.”

“You don’t get it, Luke.” Colleen tried.

“Oh, I get it.” He nodded but you rolled your eyes. “The Hand was taking kids out of Harlem and using them for clean up.”

“And weren’t they killing those kids too?” You pressed. “You really wanna let them get away with that?”

“You’re just looking for a reason, aren’t you?” Jessica commented.

“I’m just the only one willing to do what it takes, apparently. Everyone else needs a ‘good enough’ reason.”

“Your bloody hand says otherwise.”

“Hey.. That’s enough.” Matt said gently and moved you to stand on his other side by Claire. You wiped the bloody hand against your pant leg. “We’re here for Danny, but the girls are right. It won’t end there. The Hand will keep coming after us. This is our chance to shut them down for good.”

“Gao already has it in for us.” You gestured between you and Matt. “I’ve made a new enemy out of Murakami but he’s not leaving this building unless it’s in a bag so I’m not worried about that, and don’t any of you try to stop that. The other guy-“

“Bakuto.” Colleen explained. “My first master.”

You turned to her and watched as her face fell, an almost shameful feeling filling her.

“Sounds like that’s your chapter to close, then.” You offered and she gave you a small, determined nod.

“I get that you three have history with them.” Luke tried and you groaned.

“So does she.” Matt gestured to Jessica. “So does she.” He gestured to Claire. “So do you and that kid from Harlem.”

“Detonating a bomb here won’t fix what happened to him!”

“But it’ll keep it from happening to anyone else! It can keep anyone else from being put in danger.”

“I just…” He sighed. “I can’t go along with this.”

“Then don’t.” You shrugged. “But if you stay here, don’t get in the way.”

“For the record, everything that’s been said in the past two minutes is absolutely insane.” Claire said calmly and you gave a small nod in agreement. Ninjas, resurrections, and imploding buildings isn’t a normal day in New York for everyone.

“Thank you!” Luke nodded.

“But… We all know what the Hand is capable of.” She continued. “We’ve all been affected and they just keep coming back. When they do, it’s not just crime. It’s horror movie murder-y shit.”

“If we don’t do this, it’s gonna get worse.” Matt continued.

“It’s one empty building and some empty bodies versus an entire city full of innocent people. What is still the debate here?” You asked in annoyance.

“This is not how I fix things.” Luke shook his head.

“Можем ли мы уже сделать это?” You grumbled and leaned against the nearest wall, bouncing your head off the structure behind until Matt came to your side and put his hand between your head and the wall. (Can we just get this done already?)

“These people came after our friends. They’re showing no signs of stopping” Jessica added.

“Jess!”

“You know I’ve wanted nothing to do with this from the beginning. The architect’s brains are still in my apartment. I haven’t changed my clothes. Let’s just get this shit over with.”

Still, Luke gave her an apprehensive expression. You grew tired of the back and forth so you took it into your own hands. You twisted your wrist at your side and unwound his conviction against the plan. Mixing that with what Jessica said next, Luke finally agreed so long as no one innocent got hurt.

You looked through the bag as Matt and Colleen talked about where to plant them.

“Interesting..” You spoke quietly with furrowed brows. You knew instantly that it wouldn’t bode well for your ragtag group.

“Y/N?” Matt asked.

“There’s no remote detonator. Meaning once you start it, there’s only a few minutes to get clear, depending on the timer.”

“You sure?” Claire asked as she reached for the timer.

“Yeah, I’ve been around my fair share of explosives.”

“So what you’re saying is, once someone activates the charge…” Colleen trailed off as her mind worked.

“No going back.” You nodded.

“You two put them in place.” Matt pointed to Colleen and Claire. “Once we’re out, hit the charge, we get out of here.”

“No, I’m going down with you.” Colleen insisted and you groaned. “Last time I stayed behind, Danny got drugged and kidnapped.”

“To be fair, you wouldn’t have been able to stop them either.” You shrugged and Matt elbowed you slightly.

“Colleen, the four of them have certain abilities.” Claire tried. “And as your friend, if I’m going to do this, I’m gonna need your help a lot more than they do.”

“Promise me you won’t fail him again.” She turned to Matt.

“Всегда так драматично.” You mumbled to yourself as Luke answered her and the sirens approached outside. (Always so dramatic.)

You were patting the pouches of your belt for the communications case but Matt pulled you away before you could find it. You tapped your implant and tuned in to the cops’ radios, relaying the various information you heard. Calling for the bomb squad. Evacuation orders. Call for all available units.

“Something mechanical behind it.” Matt explained and backed away from the wall.

“What do you mean?” Jessica asked.

Luke broke open the wall and exposed the elevator, along with the hole going down hundreds of feet.

“The more I think about it, the less I like our odds.” Luke commented as he peered down the hole.

“Do like me. Don’t think about it.” Matt offered and you chuckled beside him.

“Matt, you don’t think about a lot of things.” You joked and he grinned.

“If you told me a week ago that I’d be here with you three, about to blow up a building and fight ninjas to save New York…” Jessica thought out loud.

“For whatever it’s worth, I’m glad you’re here.” Matt offered.

“What?” She countered and her expression made you laugh.

“Well the circumstances could be better. I’m just saying, y’know, I’m glad we found each other.”

“I’m not hugging you.” Luke said and Matt chuckled slightly.

You wrapped your arm around Matt and he tucked you closer into his side.

“You guys get on my nerves but I do appreciate you guys sticking this thing out and being here.” You said honestly. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, well..�� Jessica shrugged, though you could feel the subtle softness in the gesture. “You guys ready?”

“No.” Luke shook his head.

“No.” Matt sighed.

“Might as well.” You shrugged.

You and Jessica moved to the elevator first, Luke and Matt close behind. It was a tense, relatively quiet ride down. You rested your forehead against Matt’s shoulder and toyed with his fingers. He turned his head and put a reassuring kiss to the top of your head.

“You alright, Sweetheart?” He asked softly.

“Yeah, I’ll just tune it all out when we get a little closer.” You shrugged and he made a small upset sound. “What?”

“You know I worry about you.”

“How do you think I feel? Your first love is back.”

“Y/N..” His other hand went under your chin and lifted your eyes.

“No, I know.” You nodded. “I’m just… I don’t know. I have a feeling that not all four of us are coming back up this elevator and.. I can’t lose you, Matty. I just can’t.”

“You trust me?”

“With my life.” You didn’t hesitate to answer and he smiled proudly. “You know that.”

“Then believe me when I tell you it’s all gonna be alright. Okay? Nothing’s gonna happen.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“I love you.” He said softly.

“I love you, too.”

“Hey.” Luke said when his quiet conversation with Jessica died out. “Anyone waiting for us?”

“Yeah, about thirty of them.” Matt answered. You tapped your mask and looked down, seeing small dots pop up across your lenses. “All of ‘em armed, including two of the ones we fought in the garage.”

“Looks like Gao and… Murakami.” You added. “He’s mine. I don’t care who goes after her.”

“What about the ex-girlfriend?” Jessica gave Matt a pointed look.

“Yeah.” He nodded but gripped your hand.

“This is gonna be a lot worse than what we’ve gone against so far.” You explained, hoping to redirect the conversation away from Elektra.

“So how do we handle it?” Jessica asked.

“I got an idea.” Luke tried. “But you’re not gonna like it.”

“Whatever you guys do, I’m handling it my way.” You said honestly, shaking the Bite on your free hand. “Whether you agree with it or not, I’m not pulling punches. I will leave a pile of bodies if I have to.”

“Dial it down, Tiff.” Jessica rolled her eyes. “Just put the homicidal tendencies on the back burner for a second.”

You made a face to mock her but listened as Luke explained his plan. He wanted Jessica to be the bait, to draw their attention and let him and Matt gain the element of surprise. But you countered that you would be of more interest. After a brief argument, they agreed.

So when the elevator hit the bottom, you stood in it alone. Against the Hand. Against whatever claimed the body of Elektra Natchios.

You pushed open the elevator gates and folded your hands neatly behind your back, allowing your fingers to toy with the handle of your knife.

“Hello, Elektra. Nice to see you again.” You smiled slightly. “This is a bit more than I expected but you always got everything you wanted. Didn’t you?”

She didn’t answer but gave you a small smirk.

“If only you could’ve had your precious Matthew…”

You felt a spark of rage in her chest.

“Unfortunately, him and I had a bit of a.. disagreement about what to do in regards to-“ You gestured vaguely to the hole. “-all of this. So I had to get him out of my way… A shame I had to kill him. He was pretty cute and incredible in bed.. I could see why you loved him. But don’t worry.. He died quickly..”

She took a step closer so you spoke quickly.

“I didn’t come to fight you, Elektra. And I didn’t come to try and kill you either. Though I am willing, if it comes down to it…”

Your eyes scanned the group until you found Murakami. Your fingers closed around the handle of your blade and you yanked it out discreetly.

“But I will admit, I did come down here with very specific purpose.”

She lifted her chin and gave you a slight raise of her brow. You grinned wickedly before flinging your knife through the air and it landed with a wet thump into the center of the man’s throat. As soon as you had pulled your arm back, the rest of your group came into the fight. You all moved through the crowd, throwing them aside or knocking them down until you were able to meet with Danny.

After a very brief recap from both sides, you faced the remaining members of the Hand. The fighting ensued quickly and you kept your word to not pull your punches.

A woman had you pinned against the wall and aimed a viscous punch for your head. Instead, you flicked the knife at your wrist and jammed it into her throat. The bullets came from around the corner quickly so you dropped to your knee.

You pulled your gun and leaned around the rock pillar you were behind, firing a quick shot into either gunman’s forehead. You were moving to stand when Elektra’s foot collided with your chest. You were thrown backwards, tumbling until you hit your knees and you finished in a slide. You growled slightly and woke both Bites before you charged at her.

You two exchanged blow after blow, some blocked and some connecting, but neither of you let up. You made attempts with the knife at your wrist, but she smacked most of the shots away. Only a few knicked her, across the arm or one that clipped her chin. It wasn’t until the sudden beeping in your implant caught your attention was she able to land anything worthwhile against you.

The kick floored you but gave Luke a chance to jump in. You used your mask to find the source and you were shown a timer ticking down.

“Oh shit.” You mumbled before glancing around the tunnels. You found your dropped gun at your side so you tucked it back in its place. “Matt!”

“Y/N?” He called in return, pushing past everything to get to your side.

“You hear that?”

“Yeah.. Everyone needs to go. Now.”

He helped you to your feet and you turned to see Elektra stuck in a match with Luke. You moved over quickly, using Luke as footing to jump from after he knocked her into a short spin so she faced away from you. You moved in a fluid motion to connect the wires between your wrists as you hooked one leg over her shoulders and jammed the other against her spine. You leaned forward enough to get the wire across her throat before you dropped to land on your feet. You yanked her back and twisted so she landed on her face. You knelt on her back and jammed both Bites against her skin. She cried out and fell limp so you yanked your wire apart and hurried back to the group.

“You guys need to get to the surface.” Matt said quickly.

“You guys?” You clarified and stopped in front of him, standing firm despite him pushing you toward the elevator.

“What about you?” Danny asked.

“Someone has to make sure-“

“But why does it have to be you?” You cut in quickly and you felt your eyes begin to water as you realized what he meant. “Matt, you promised.”

“I know.” He said gently, his hands coming to their well-known position on either side of your face. “I know but-“

“No. We said no one innocent was gonna die. If anyone should stay, it should be me.”

“No, Y/N.”

“It’s my fault this happened to her anyway. It’s only fitting it’d be me.”

“I’m not letting you die because of this.”

“Neither am I… Please forgive me.”

“What?”

You put your hands behind his shoulders and pulled him down so you could slam your knee up into his stomach. Matt grabbed one of your arms and kicked your knee out from under you so you spun to get behind him. You hooked your arm under his leg with fingers hooked around the holster for his clubs and yanked him to his back. You kept you two tumbling until you could lock him into an arm bar. You charged one of your Bites to a bright blue and went to slam it against him.

But as your arm was coming down, he rolled into you and forced your ankles apart. His arm twisted in your hold so his hand could grip your throat before he yanked you to your feet and shoved you towards the group, staying in place to ensure you made it to the elevator. You felt a pair of hands on your arms but you called a wave of hot anger to roll across your skin and the hands instantly disappeared just as Matt turned away from you.

You ran at Matt again and moved into your usual flip. Matt side-stepped you and placed hands around your waist to guide you through it. As you were coming up, you hooked an arm around his throat with the intent of throwing him into someone’s arms at the elevator. You felt his hands on your upper arm as he took control of his momentum. Once his feet hit the ground, he shifted to be in front of you. He fell back and placed a foot against your stomach. As you two went down, he pushed with his leg and sent you into a flip over him.

Your back hit the rock surface hard and you coughed as the air escaped your lungs and your ribs screamed at you.

“Take her with you guys… Now.” Matt said and you felt someone’s hands under your arms to haul you away.

“No.” You argued and shifted aggressively in their grip. “No, let me go!”

You lifted your wrist and shot your wire at Matt’s ankles. It wrapped around and you yanked to pull him to the floor. You reached back and fired your other Bite against Jessica and she dropped her hold with a loud and annoyed exclamation. You hurried back to Matt, ditching the wire as you got closer, and as you were reaching him, he spun to his back and slammed both feet into your chest which threw you to the floor.

“Goddammit Matt!” You cried as you climbed to your feet and yanked your mask to sit around your throat. Looking over, he threw his helmet to the side and scowled in your direction. “We don’t have time for this!”

“You’re right. We don’t.” He agreed. “You need to go, Y/N.”

“I’m not leaving you, not again.”

He sighed loudly and came to stand in front of you. One hand landed on your waist while the other went behind your neck. You hissed at the familiar pain in your ribs as your chests collided but the sound was muffled by his lips hitting yours. You felt everything with that kiss. Every ounce of love, devotion, regret. Almost enough to buckle your knees.

You felt his fingers feeling around your belt but before you could voice the question, he pressed the small disc against your neck and forced it with his thumb. You yelled loudly and staggered back as the electricity flooded through your body, right into Jessica’s expectant arms.

“We need to go!” Jessica urged as she practically threw you onto the elevator.

“No!” You cried out, the single syllable tearing through your throat. She slammed the gates shut just before you reached them. You moved to jump over it, knowing the short landing would be fine since the elevators had hardly started the climb, but Luke grabbed you and held you in place. “I can’t leave him! I can’t- Matt! Matt, don’t do this!”

You thrashed and kicked, flicking out your blade and slamming it down. Firing both Bites and letting your skin freeze with your sadness, cold enough that you could see the beads of sweat hanging to the end of your hair turn to little icicles. But nothing was enough. Luke wouldn’t let go.

“Let me go!” You cried out loudly and twisted aggressively in his grip.

“Я люблю тебя, Y/N. Безоговорочно. Hold on to that.” You heard his voice through your implant. “I’m so sorry.” (I love you. Unconditionally.)

“No!”

You had never felt that type of sadness before, that type of loneliness. It crashed into you like a train, overtook you like a wave against the shore. As the elevator began to climb, you felt everything else in your body sink. Every inch of your body felt cold, your vision coated with a cruel and unforgiving blue as your heart grew heavy in your chest.

Matt was going to die in that hole. You were going to be alone.

As the remaining Hand members began climbing the elevator shaft, you fixed your mask and pulled a blade to take brutal shots in an attempt to replace the cold with something - anything - else. You sliced their throats, carved their chests, buried your knife so deep it came out the other side and you were wrist deep in their bodies. You pierced skulls and plucked eyeballs from their sockets. You didn’t care about the blood you spilled, the lives you took.

The Hand took another person you loved. And you wouldn’t be able to get this one back.

Eventually, after having to climb the rest of the way, your group made it to the ground floor. You were met with a squad of officers with guns pointed at you all. You swiped your arm and watched their eyes cloud with yellow before running out of the building in a panic. You felt Jessica’s hand on your arm the whole way, ensuring to drag you all the way to the ambulance.

You shifted anxiously between your feet, refusing to believe what you had just seen. Matt must’ve found another way out. He had to have known another way. There was no way he would just die.

“Maybe we should check the perimeter.” You said quickly, denial coursing through you.

“Y/N..” Colleen tried softly, like you were an injured wild animal that could snap at any time.

“There had to be another way out. He wouldn’t- I know he- He can���t-“

You turned as the explosions began going off. You watched the bursts of heat and destruction as the building began to collapse on itself. As the building fell, you went down to your knees, as if there was a string from your chest to the base of the building and it dragged you down as it went and the realization settled heavily on your shoulders. You clutched your empty, bloodied hands to your chest as the tears fogged your mask. You screamed in agony, feeling as if your own heart was being ripped from your chest by a pair of ice cold hands and you couldn’t stop it. You folded over on yourself, having no strength to keep yourself up as you heard the shattering of windows and the crunch of breaking concrete.

Я люблю тебя., Y/N. Безоговорочно. Hold on to that. I’m so sorry.

“He had no intention of making it out alive.” Danny said, almost angrily.

You pushed yourself to your feet and shoved your mask out of the way enough to wipe your eyes as you faced him as that blistering cold pain shifted to answering anger at the faux display of sentiment. He offered you a sympathetic look but you reached back and slammed a freezing fist across his face that made him stumble backwards into Colleen’s arms.

“I should’ve let Stick kill you.” You sneered, rage burning through you. “At least then, he’d probably still be alive.”

You wanted to scream his name, but even in death, you would keep his secret.

“He gave his life for all of us, not just me.” Danny tried.

“If you died, then you wouldn’t have opened that wall, which means that we don’t end up in that hole. Meaning Daredevil doesn’t trade his life for yours!”

“Don’t blame me because you couldn’t beat him.”

“At least I tried! At least I wasn’t a coward! I was willing to die down there, but were any of you?” You looked around the group and found them all averting your eyes. “All of you chose to run! Why? Because it wasn’t your fight? None of you tried to stop him.” You said shakily, the blue of your vision mixing with red. Your insides felt cold but your skin burned, sweating under the material of your suit. “None of you cared! You’re all selfish! It should’ve been any of us. Any of us, but him!”

“Hey..” Claire said softly, coming to your side and wrapping her arms around you despite you trying to jerk away.

“No.” You mumbled and pushed her hands away. “No. Don’t- No, don’t touch me. Don’t touch me.”

She kept trying until you finally gave in and let her catch you in her arms, pinning yours to your side.

“He’s gone.” You cried quietly into her shoulder. “He’s gone. He’s- He’s- He’s-“ You hiccuped between words as your brain couldn’t manage to say that sentence again.

Matt Murdock was dead.

“I know.. I know.” She said softly.

You were all taken back to the precinct but you felt absolutely gutted. You were hollow, empty without the warmth that was Matt Murdock.

You thought you had been mad before. When you had been desperate, scared and alone, and turned to God for help but He ignored you. When you were lost, hollow and broken but He abandoned you yet again. But now, you weren’t just mad at God. You hated Him. You wanted to tear his precious Kingdom apart and burn his pearly gates to the ground. You wanted to yank Him down to Earth so He could suffer with everyone He allowed to suffer.

As you were all taken to the police station to reconvene with your friends, your mind was a muddled mess of sorrow. Matt Murdock was your light, the only real bright spot in your otherwise gloomy life. Now you had only a flicker, only his memory. But you knew it wouldn’t be enough. You’d succumb to the darkness you were accustomed to and there’d be no one to pull you out. No one to talk you off the ledge you teetered and now you were in free fall.

Everyone else entered the room first, leaving you in the hall for a second to gather yourself. But you couldn’t bring yourself to cross the threshold. Instead, you fell to the floor again and slumped against the wall. You were alone for only a minute before Claire came and knelt in front of you.

“How am I supposed to face them?” You mumbled weakly and hugged your knees to your chest.

“All I can tell you, Y/N, is that you have two friends in there who think they’ve lost you both.” She said softly.

“How do I tell them that- that- that he’s dead? That I couldn’t save him?”

“Right now, they just need to know that someone they care about made it.”

“They’ll blame me… They’d be right, too. That’s what makes it worse.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Well I blame me.” You sighed. “He’s dead because I wasn’t strong enough to stop him. I wasn’t- I wasn’t fast enough. I wasn’t good enough to beat him. First Elektra, now Matt. I’m just- I’m a curse. I’m a curse. Everyone who I care about dies because I- Because this stupid heart of mine gets in the way. People I love die because I’m weak!“

“Listen to me.” She said with a gentle firmness. “I don’t know a lot about all of this and I don’t even want to. But I do know two things. You are not weak. You’ve gone through hell, Y/N, but you still fight for what’s right. That is strength. Okay? Second, I know whatever decision he made, no one was going to talk him down. Not even you. And you know how he loved you. He made that choice to save you.”

“That doesn’t make it any better! Am I supposed to be grateful to have survived this? I should appreciate that he traded his life for mine, right? My life isn’t worth shit compared to his! C’mon, my own parents didn’t even want me.”

“He was a grown man. His decisions and mistakes were his to make. You don’t have to forgive him for this or yourself, if you really feel like that.” She pressed, pulling you to your feet despite your limp posture. “But you don’t get to leave your friends to worry about your well-being when you’re alive. Fall apart after they know you’re alive.”

“Okay..” You nodded with a sniffle. “Okay, you’re right.”

She gave your arm a small pat before heading back into the room your friends were waiting for you in. You felt their grief, their pain was slamming into you with a force that refused to be ignored. Refused to be shut out. They were terrified, waiting to see who would cross the threshold next. They knew, both of them deep down, that there would only be one of you coming back. With every passing second you lingered, you felt their hope diminishing. They were starting to believe that neither of you had made it. An expected way for you to go, you thought. Your vigilante personas dying together. But no. You were still alive.

You willed your feet to move and stepped inside, trying to be presentable to your friends. Karen ran to you when she saw you, likely recognizing the bloodshot in your eyes and the tear streaks down your blood splattered face. You yanked your mask down just before she embraced you. Looking over her shoulder, you saw the understanding cross Foggy’s face. He stood frozen, only for a second as the loss of his friend hit him, before crashing into you as well.

“I’m sorry… I couldn’t-“ You cried quietly and everything inside of you broke as you confessed. Only the embrace of your friends kept you from falling to your knees. “I’m so sorry… I couldn’t save him.”

[stargazeraldroth]

hear me out: soulmate errink where you share your dreams with your soulmate- you can talk to them, just hang out cuddle, go on little dream dates, the like. and of course, this holds true for error! and his strangely unnamed soulmate. it’s practically the only thing keeping him sane, really- those little nighttime visits to a tiny, almost unfinished looking skeleton. it’s the only time he can talk to someone that isn’t the voices, the only time he can hug someone and touch them, and sure, things aren’t always perfect but they’re all the other has- error’s been told about the blank, awful whiteness and sketched figures his soulmate is stuck with, and he’s shared his own experiences in turn.

and error intended for his slowly emerging power to travel between aus to be a surprise for his little soulmate! he’d hate to get their hopes up, to promise something he couldn’t fulfill, but he’s sure he’s almost got it down- just a bit more practice and he can finally, finally find them, can get them out of there, and even if things aren’t great from there they’ll have each other, right? neither of them will be alone.

so of course error freaks out when the dreams stop coming and his soul aches.

of course he forgoes being careful and tears his way through whatever worlds may have been between him and his soulmate because they don’t matter right now.

and of course he loses it when he finally, finally gets to their awful cage of scribbles and whiteness and finds only dust and shredded remains of a soul behind.

basically: i’m curious where you’d go with something like this, where past!ink starts to think the soulmate dreams are just him going insane and can’t take it anymore (the creators, perhaps?), and error snaps when his soulmate seemingly isn’t there at all, suddenly. may or may not be yandere, now. oops!

RAAAAAAAAAAAH SOULMATE AU 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

I LOVE A GOOD SOULMATE AU but unfortunately, my commentary is gonna be complete garbage. Because it's getting late, I'm tired, and I'm slightly hungry. But nothing's appealing and I don't wanna make anything. So I guess I'll starve

ALSO YANDERE MENTION??? YES PLEASE??? I don't know why, but the yandere trope is one of my favorites to use. Maybe I need mental help

Anyway, this is already pretty angst-focused, so I'll just keep following that trend. Like I said, my commentary's gonna be crappy, and I feel bad because this such??? A well-written thing??? I'm so sorry Anon :(

I thiiiiink it's canon that Ink doesn't remember anything from his unfinished AU, since he destroyed his soul, but I could be wrong about it. I'm only like 50% sure about that one, but for the sake of being consistent and not wasting your time, I'll say that he doesn't remember his past. Meaning he doesn't remember any of the dreams he had or even his soulmate, or that soulmates are even a thing. He doesn't relearn this until he finds out while observing some AUs, and he even gets... a bit envious sometimes. He knows that being soulless has many advantages when it comes to combat, such as his regenerative abilities, but the lack of a soulmate is... glaring. He knows some of the others pity him for it, too. He doesn't want their pity. It feels so... belittling...

Meanwhile, Error's turned cold and calloused from the death of his soulmate. He's adopted an "If I can't have (blank), then no one can" mentality when it comes to soulmates, which is part of why he destroys AUs here. He still feels a constant ache because of his frayed bond. Sometimes, he looks at Ink and wonders if he feels anything, but then argues that he's soulless- meaning he didn't have a soulmate to begin with (if only you knew, Error). And yet... sometimes, he can't help but see his lost soulmate when he looks at Ink. Their faces... their body structure... their voices... it's uncanny how similar they are, but it... it can't be him, right? How could it possibly be? It's just a hopeless dream of his, surely...

Now, this can lead into the yandere elements. If Error keeps making the connection, he juuuust might start believing what he's seeing. Maybe... maybe Ink is his soulmate reincarnated, or something like that. And if he is, then... Error can't afford to lose him again. If he loses him a second time, then he's really going to break. He can't go through that again! He knows Ink doesn't have a soul, but that's okay.

He's more than willing to remind Ink of what they used to have. What they should have had, and what they will have together.

[honeybeewhereartthee]

Crystal Hearts

Previous || Chapter Eight || Next

»»————-　*gasp, the audacity! I'm the candy >:(　————-««

: A dream ???

A long , long time ago. There once a small fae who found himself in a dark forest between the borderlands of the four clans.

Deep in the forest the small little one walk scared yet determine to prove to the other fae that he could do it.

And they will all agree to be his friends yet the moment he saw an old structure, he saw a wall full of vines and beautiful roses.

He was amaze for a moment till he realize those roses aren't original red as it's pure white in color and a captive is surrounded by those vines, bleeding dark blood that tainted the roses to bloom red.

The moment he saw that person captive and imprisoned in that place, the young Fae suddenly felt like his possess by someone else.

"MC?! M-MC!!" he cried in worry as he reach out to the captive person. He reach out to free you from captivity but the vines with thorns prevent him yet he won't stop as if he cannot feel pain even his skin bleed and his own blood tainting the roses.

"M-MC... W-we been trying to g-get you home..." He cried as he remembers his friends trying to find their 'human' friend. "S-sorry.. s-sorry... *Hic... It's my fault..." He hopelessly cried.

" I-if I don't want to show you my abilities... Y-you won't try..." Even how much he tried to get you off the vines, the vines keep returning back with more sharp thorns.

"...???" You who's been asleep for a very long time, slowly waken up as you heard someone cry for you. You open your eyes and saw a stranger who's calling you a name. Unfamiliar yet familiar name yet nothing come in mind.

"Don't cry..." Your voice which never been use for a long time. "Why are you crying for me?" You never seen this young fae with blonde hair and emerald green eyes that is full of tears.

"B-because your important to me! MC!" He speak out with a hopeless grin. You wonder what he meant but you reach out your less captive hand and wipe his tears away.

"You shouldn't be here... The fae your occupying will die in this place, traveller of another world." You warn him. Knowing his someone who's possessing the young fae instead of being physically here.

"oh! I forget... Wait fae??? Like fairies?? Wow! How L-O-V-E-L-Y!" he never know this is a world of fae. But he still try to get you off the vines.

" MC why are you stuck in the wall." He ask in curiosity.

"I don't know... People don't like me I guess." You chuckle.

" Oooh. Is it because your reckless even in this world~ " he giggle as if he already expected it.

"Hmm..." You yawn a bit but look around for something, sighing in relief as nothing seems to be activated from this stranger action of freeing you from your captivity yet.

"Hey... What's your name." You ask him as you reach out to held his wounded hands and giving a soft kiss to the wounds, causing him to blush but the wounds slowly heals as if it never wounded.

"Me? Well one thing you should know! I and this body share the same name!" He point out.

" And it's Aira Shiratori~"

.

.

.

: Present ???

" Uwwaaaah! " The certain fae with emerald green eyes is bewailed as he stared at the pink haired dark fae who's looking at him oddly. As if questioning who's this lost kid.

" Ai-AI! " You called as you welcome aira to your house. "Haku-tan this is Ai-Ai!" You introduce them to one another.

"Ai-ai?" Kohaku wonder what kind of a parent called someone that.

"Gahh.. it's aira Shiratori! MCchi! Don't use your nickname when introducing me~!" Aira cried as he quickly introduce himself correctly.

"But nicknames makes it seems were very close don't we? It's symbol were important to be called a name only the others can. Ùwú" you point out before you remember something.

"Still... H-hey what are you doing??!!" aira wanted to explain more when you suddenly lean to his chest to listen to his heartbeat, he blushes at the close contact.

"Haku-tan wanna listen to my heart beat?~?" You then proceed to makd kohaku listen in as well.

Kohaku who was curious why you suddenly did that Suddenly nodded slowly in understanding as this person is the one you give your heart to 'live' as thanks.

"Ohh! Then pls pardon me..." he don't know about fae culture but as they said if your in another place, respect their culture and they will respect yours.

"H-hey ... Why are you so cool about this?! KYAAAAA! PERSONAL SPACE! PERSONAL SPACE!!" aira blushes even more when you and kohaku is particularly hugging him to listen to his heartbeat.

"Fufu. Ai-ai the heart is beating too fast. Here have some candies." You chuckle as you proceed to feed Aira your magi candies.

He wanted to say something but the flavor of cakes exploding in his mouth.

He pout as he slowly hugs the two of you back with a blush in his face still seen.

"MCchi your so weird." He mumble while nomming the candy. "I want some too." Kohaku voice almost inaudible but you heard it and happily feed kohaku your magi candy.

"Hmm? Being weird makes me different~ so it's fine ~" you said with a soft smile. The light fae chuckle and kohaku agree about it.

"Today is Ii hiyori~' you beam, saying a catch phrase of someone you know. " ii Hiyori indeed..." The two nodded enjoying the cozy atmosphere.

.

.

.

»»————-　???　————-««

Outside the window, in the far corner of the world of faes, a certain butterfly flattering and flattering.

Multiplying as a figure slowly emerge from it. Holding a frozen flowers with an amuse grin on his face, showing shark like teeth.

A beauty mark just beneath his pink (kissable) lips, his eyes that is close, slowly open revealing light turquoise eyes embed with stigma of chaos, a black butterfly of chaos.

"Fufu... Where could you be hidding~?" His voice that of a phantom but who ever could hear it could lullaby to an eternal sleep.

Like those unfortunate souls that surrounds him all slowly crumble to pixels to nothingness.

»»————-　NOOOO!!!　————-««

»»————-　note　————-««

(1) dun! Dun! Who this pokemon?! /Get slapped.

(2)Yes we do have drama here.

(if want to be tagged pls comment or Send mail) Tag List : @valeriele3 @yinenovica

[munsonthemisfit]

Well, a lot of people would just decide to yeet the whole uterus, getting a hysterectomy. But that would mean being on T for the rest of their lives or going into early menopause.

I personally am only wanting T for the permanent changes, and once those are fully permanent I'm gonna stop taking it. Changes such as facial hair and slight bone structure changes, for example. Plus I had to be on T for a full year before I could get top surgery anyway. Im currently paying nearly 200 every three months for T and would rather not have to pay that for longer than needed as well.

But I knew I never wanted to have my own kids far before I knew I was trans masc, so I'm getting part of my uterus removed rather than the whole thing.

It is different for everyone, but I uh. I don't want bottom surgery, don't really want a dick. Plus uh. From what I do know it wouldn't work like a cis man's really anyway and also I don't wanna have to learn how to aim just to piss XD

Knife 🔪 Anon

I have a couple questions and idk if you even have the answer, but feel free to message me privately if you don’t wanna answer them publicly as I already know who you are away from anon stuff :)

1) How come you don’t have to stay on T once you’re on it? I thought eventually the oestrogen would like.. idk, like fight back and almost take over again because you’re not constantly fighting it with T? I failed science so idk.

2) Why do you have to be on T for a year before the top surgery? Is that like a safety issue or are they like checking you ‘really want it’ or something before doing an somewhat irreversible thing? I didn’t realise T was so fucking expensive, Jesus Christ—

I guess it makes sense if you don’t want kids and don’t want to do bottom surgery that you just remove the part that stops the kids from happening, that’s smart tbh. I don’t blame you for not wanting a dick, they can be hella gross/weird sometimes. From what I googled last time I was wanting to learn more about this, it seems like it’s a little more complicated for non-cis men after bottom surgery yeah, like issues with getting hard and size and all that jazz. I’m perplexed that a surgeon even discovered how to do bottom surgery, like imagine being smart enough to successfully execute that for the first time, that’s mind blowing.

Whatever makes you comfortable in your own body :) idk what it is, but I’ve recently met a lot of trans men who say they don’t even want the bottom surgery. In my head I thought it was a package deal but I keep meeting more men who are just happy to have T, top surgery and nothing else. It’s truly fascinating to learn this from people, I love/respect that people are comfortable enough to explain things to me.

I wanna clarify; I’m in no way bad mouthing anyone or their body or like… any surgery people do/don’t get, it’s their body and I’m truly just fascinated with learning these things. I’m happy if people are happy and I know it’s no one’s business :) I’m just a ditsy boy that’s slowly learning how the world works 🕺🏻✨

[localbff]

Hello

been a while since i wrote here. so much has happened in between the months that came and i probably have a lot to tell by now. i'll try to dilute it all down one by one. each comprising of different events but similar to each other. doing these write ups can be very exhausting and still be rewarding in some ways. but writing about yourself feels like an ego stroke at times, also feel selfish and ridding yourself of any harm nor guilt you committed to things, especially people. it is cathartic to do this, but it takes a toll on you… personally -- it does.

i've uhmm and ahh'd so much into this and have since gone too much revisions and sentence structures, i cant be fucked and bothered to do more edits. i'll just let the my writer in me to do their thing and see where it all lands.

i wanna acknowledge how much of myself i lost in the fire. how much of myself i showed to people that i didn't keep in check. how so much of myself went unnoticed and ended up hurting those i love. i'm hurting as of this moment, and i think those that i hurt too, much worse than i'm feeling. at this point, my writing feels like a self-ridicule and untangling myself from past guilt -- i promise, it isn't. acknowledging what you are and what you were should feel at least comforting as you move forward, gradually, into a better state.

when you like someone, you do it in small gestures or you end up saying so much that all the words that come out of your mouth form only as a big blurb of bullshit. i gravitated towards the two, never conforming to a singular emotion. i kept my composure but all the love was begging to rush out of me in one single moment, wanting to express it all. i didn't notice the signs that i were being vague and that was one thing they disliked about me. i thought i had all the boxes checked, i guess i was naive of the fact that things were slowly starting to not look okay... it haunted me, and to this day it still does. then the realization settles in. there is no running from it now.

do not ATTEMPT to be me. or at least try to avoid becoming me. or maybe we're all the same… i try to look at myself back when i was 15 or 16 to compare and contrast them from who i've become now. so much has changed but remnants of my old self when i was sixteen still come out of me. i try to suppress it. our parents have fucked us up for so much that we couldn't identify them now because the horrors were subtle and discreet for us to notice. the horrors still persists and continues to do so until now. this is in no way vilifying our mothers and fathers and those that came before them, but you have to admit that the things did did to and for us is a spectrum of many things.

i'm not trying to rid myself of the guilt, i write this down as a message of acknowledgement and a slow realization of what i am, and to slowly turn away from it.

at this point, i start to think to myself in a readers perception of all this as i read it in a third person perspective, without any prior knowledge of what i'm talking about. maybe it was all about nothing and just bullshit? maybe i can relate to it? maybe its just fiction? or it really was about tidying yourself and coming out a new person with those mistakes behind them and just an ego stroke body of text?

maybe it's for something? or someone? it is for someone. i am a mess and i was a fuck up for hurting them.

you cannot miss a moment when it's detrimental to a person or a thing. so much of it i overlooked, the small dots started to become giant blackholes. now i feel like sinking into concrete and laying to rest.

i have to change, because i want to and i will always change -- for better or for worse. but i wanna be better. progress is nonlinear but we'll get to it. i'm so used to pain and loss i have nowhere else to go but a better state. and i hope you do too. i wish you well on your journey.