#i wanna scream more but idek words anymore

[sanemisstalker]

Idk why but like I really wanna die in somebody’s arms- it’s like such a beautiful but sad way to die?

(**kny spoilers**)

kinda like how Mitsuri died in Obanai’s arms bc that was such a heartbreaking moment but it also was kinda sweet at the same time? Idek anymore 😭 ty for your time btw <3

Broooo-

I hate to be that guy and point to your username, but I think dying in Giyu's arms would be the worst emotionally. I think it'd be actually devastating.

CW// Death / Implied Major Character Death/ Implied Suicide/ Angst

A part of me reasons that Sanemi could handle it about as well as he handles anything else. Poorly, but he'd continue like he always does. That's all he can do because he thinks anything else is a show of extreme cowardice and he doesn't deserve to feel that way.

But when you're in his arms, dying, more color is dissapearing, and he's fighting to see your face past the tears- he's wailing and screaming, and trying to command you to come back. That normally works. Maybe he's gotten scary enough to scare death, but no. He'll never be enough to fend off the inevitable.

I don't think Shinobu would be much different. She has an astonishing amount of hate in her heart. Enough to patch up the wound long enough for her to pretend it isn't there anymore.

You'd be lying in her arms, and all of it would be beating against her head. Every word you ever said, every piece of medical knowledge she had, and for her to be the only one able to know just how incapable she was of saving you- She'd start begging a higher power, probably, begging you to be strong in her stead- save yourself because she's not strong enough.

Rengoku wouldn't cry until you fully slipped away, doing all he could to muster his voice flat- you needed comfort, obviously. He knew it wouldn't heal the wounds, nothing could, but he was still denying that to keep his smile wide.

You wouldn't be in his arms but on his lap, his hand sweeping hair from your fading eyes. I think He'd sit there for a while. For too long, just trying to prevent tears, because you wouldn't make a move to wipe them.

Tengen would hurt, bad. You're in his arms, and he's rocking you, and he's having a panic attack- He'd deny it the hardest. For the longest.

There's a notable difference, Tengen understood, between the weight of a breathing person, and a dead body. He knew that difference the second you slumped against his shoulder, and his knees hit the ground. He'd try to wake you up, tell you to stop the act, it isn't funny, because God, what else could he do but joke in a half witted prayer to hear your laugh.

Giyu....

Fuck me , man. I don't think he's emotionally strong enough to handle anymore loss. He's already disliked by his peers, by himself, god, and everyone who breathed. You were the only person willing to talk with him- to waste time on him. To love him.

The imagery for this one is vivid- the rain. Ironic. Even in his own element he couldn't save you. He's hunched over you and mimics your shallow breathes, protecting your face from the down pour.

You can't get the words out to say how much you really, deeply love him. He keeps shushing you, trying to conserve your energy- He's panicking, too, hands unsure of their need. There were so many wounds, he couldn't possibly tend to them all.

The poor boy would whisper a beg- to let him go in your stead. He couldn't be left alone to survive again. Not again. He had too many lives he was carrying on his shoulders. Too many souls he was responsible for reaching heaven with, and he was never that good a man.

He's not asking God, he's asking you. And how cruel you were to not let him die.

'I can't- Y/N, I can't do this again.' He'd sound close to vomiting. A certain animalistic sound to his voice. Guttural, almost. 'You-You-God- no-no-n-'

But you'd be gone, unable and unwillingly to give him to permission he so desperately needed. Not deserved, He'd remind himself.

He'd all but rot next to you. The second your last breathe loosed, he'd stop breathing, too. Days would go by. Unmoving. Unfeeling.

I truly believe he'd die with you that day.

[autumnapricot]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞 because I love your fics <333

ohh, thank you 🥰🫶🏼

(warning: major yapping incoming. no seriously.)

[1] will o‘ the wisps

quite obviously, lol! this story just has a special place in my heart, for the fact that i‘ve had the ground idea for so long, all the details that went into it that for most part probably even went unnoticed to the readers but were so important for me personally, the planning of things, the way i had like a list of the details and easter eggs and everything. also, the name (not to toot my own horn) but i truly had the biggest *oooohhh!!!* moment when i found this title for the story and it just fit so so perfectly. the vibe when i wrote it. yeah, just a lot of love. also it‘s my most „hit“ fic i‘ve ever written and wow, i would have never ever imagined to get this reaction to my writing, ever. like i saw the fics from other brilliant amazing writers in the fandom that‘d get 1-3k kudos and i was like what the hell, that‘s crazy much. and then wotw hit +1k kudos and i was (still am) mindblown by that because imagine 1k people irl telling you they love what you wrote? insane. and all your guys comments and asks and i‘ve gotten some of the greatest comments eeeveron this fic, like, just wow. i write for myself because i just have these ideas and words and stories in my head that i need to get out and one day decided to upload because i thought maybe a few people would perhaps like it, have a little joy with it, but of course validation is always amazing and nice, so this reception is mindblowing for me. also i now kind of wish i could rewrite some parts of the story, do some plots more or different or just write differently, but i always hate kinda hate my fics after a while and think i could have done better. but still, so much love for this fic <3

[2] friday night; i‘m in love

just for the vibe of this fic, it‘s my second fave :)) i remember i had such a good time writing this—it was the first time i went to a park to write and i stayed in that park for hours and just…wrote. this fic. and the song makes up the whole vibe of that time of that summer when i wrote this, so. just vibey. reminds me of good times but also somehow bad times. i got a comment that said „so this is what loneliness feels like“ and for someone reason that has stuck with me a hell of a lot.

[3] shores of forgiveness

this is not f1 but motogp, which is a rather little fandom on ao3 and at times idk what possessed me to write this, but, for some reason i do like it? idek. i don‘t even ‚ship‘ rosquez because oh my god, what a fucking mess that „relationship“ or well, that whole..thing..is. but that‘s somehow exactly what i love about them because fuck me that shit hurts and i lived through the split of worlds!! 2015 sepang. the press conference before? marc’s face? i wanna crumple like a leaf in the wind and to be carried away by them so fast that not even any fleeting emotions would ever graze me again. the coldness of 2016. 2018 argentina?? bro what a time to be alive (not!!). you need to know the whole rosquez lore to understand because my god. it hurts too good. literally as of this week’s events…imagine your childhood idol and absolute hero and later friend and now arch-nemesis still going on podcasts t.e.n. years later and still shit-talking you into the ground about how you’re the worst person to have ever lived and the worst thing to happen to this sport and entire nations hate you and and and!! well, ANYWAY, back to it: i don‘t remember the whole thing anymore actually. but still third! byee (fun fact: i have a rosquez playlist that literally consists of songs to scream in the car in anger and heartbreak, and it‘s my kinda therapy oops. as you can see, i am very invested in them still)

[4] but if it ain‘t you (it‘s a lie)

idk. sometimes i forget about this fic oops. but i do like it, i like me some soft besotted absolutely gone in-love alpha charles and cutie-patootie omega max. i don‘t even like the smut of this. actually why am putting this on fourth?🤣 buuttt i also remember the car rides where i listened to the song and then just randomly sat down, wrote this in one sitting, done. i think i wrote this at work even. well well well

[5] now, i am become death

listen. liiisten. i don‘t even remember writing this whole thing. literally two weeks ago i randomly looked through my works, saw this, halted, and was like—who wrote this? me?? when, where??? when did these words ever spook my mind? i reread it and yk what, it‘s fifth. no clue what‘s going on but hey. swords and blood!

anyway waaay too many thoughts, i’m so sorry, thank you! 🩵🤍

[organic-guacamole]

showtime

episode 211 let's go

ok first of all, this is the second to last episode guys... I don't even wanna think about how much pain I'll be in after next week's episode

mr mazzara doing the recap-

this is so weird to me and I don't know why

WHY DIDN'T YALL JUST ASK BENJAMIN FOR HELP, THATS LITERALLY HIS THING

is Nini giving out the cards a callback to season 1 when Natalie Bagley said that Nini gave her a card or something on opening night of another musical?

STEPHY AS THE ENCHANTRESS OMG YES

Ricky in the crown gives me Harry styles in that photoshoot vibes

he's so pretty.

ok but why did we never see Ricky and Ashlyn interact before? it's been like 5 seconds and I already love how they bounce off each other and it's just so natural

OH THEY REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY UNDERSTUDIES-

well that explains a lot...

so Ricky fell on top of Ashlyn and all that broke for both of them was their wrist-

insert Jake Peralta *coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool no doubt no doubt no doubt*

of course howie was amazing as the beast, were we expecting anything less??

Ricky is so beautiful and I will not shut up about it....

let me enjoy this before the makeup crew slaps mud on his face.

Nini and Ricky talking to eachother? in a civil manner? wasn't she avoiding him just in the last episode? hm ok

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THEY CANT EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS JUST LIKE ME HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS, WHATS NEXT? THEY CUT EVERYONE OFF CUZ THEY CANT HANDLE EMOTIONS? ...ha

yes Kaden and Rico, my favourite east high boys 🥰

I mean....where's EJ?

THERE HE IS

EJ AND GINA IN THE BACKGROUND... doing something idek

KOURTNEY'S MOM IS BACK YAY

Howie is a shining star, ofc ofc

the smallest fOrk

can't wait to see the fork burst into song about how she deserves more than to be used to eat salad😌

the duster and the bluster.... ok😃

hi Gina!

hi- oh wow I didn't know Robbie Rotten was in this show!!!!!

the portwell look.

that my friends, is a married couple's look✋

GOSH EJ WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU

aww Gina's so excited for this

D word?

Die?

Delicious?

Dom Toretto?

"good, clean fun all alone with someone I dig...a lot"

sir that does not sound very clean to me

SEBLOS

Seb looks so cute standing there next to pope Carlos

DID THEYEY REALLY LIGHT ANTOINE ON FIRE-

I NEED TO SEE THAT

Seb's reading Carlos better than big red read the script in episode 102, this is great development after the "fight"

Kourtney really just made the best outfit for herself and let the rest of them suffer

the way Gina immediately goes to hold on to EJ after the announcement

"tonight we're going to put the U in UTAH"

...

"hey where are you from?"

"TAH"

SEB'S SINGULAR CLAP KILLED ME-

he's officially salt lake city's resident thanos

just wity clapping because for some reason I have a feeling he doesn't know how to snap his fingers...don't ask why

Ms Jenn do you mind encouraging your leads before the show? idk just an idea

pepto bismol product placement smhsmh

those flowers are bigger that big red himself-

*bops along to the opening theme*

that whistle at the end slaps everytime

WHY IS THE AUDIENCE SO MASSIVE

I guess they're all here to see Ms Jenn go on as a fork after Nini decides to *go her own way*

wow i am so funny

so they couldn't do many group scenes cuz of covid, but this 300 person crowd is cool? nice

OO THE VIOLIN GIRL FROM EPISODE 6 IS IN THE ORCHESTRA

HOWIEEEEEE

"Mr Caswell", he said, in the loudest voice possible while backstage at a show that's about to start.

Mazzara what are you trying to pull-

I usually like Benjamin but I don't like his tone

"iS yOuR wHoLe FaMiLy HeRe?" LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW THATS A SOFT SPOT FOR EJ

"we've had some good conversations these past few weeks"

right so what's going to happen after you graduate?

what does he think of you not going to Duke?

what did he say about you giving the sweatshirt that's been in the family for 3 generations to a girl you're not even dating?

good old Mr. M

therapist Mr. Mazzara, they all need it.

start with Ricky though.

"Michael Bowen"

dude why did you shave, now you look less like "hot lumberjack" and more "creep at the gas station"

OH-

does she not like Mike anymore?

why does it sound like jennzzara started dating and now they just sit back and talk smack about everyone in their freetime

break the fourth wall-

uhhhh im scared

why am I scared

he's scary

hehe flowers for Ricky, obviously for Ricky, ObViOuSLY

oh boy poor Michael

this man is in love, rip

why does Ms Jenn always look at people with her eyes open so wide

LILYYYY

I'm only excited because I really like the idea of lily and Ricky being friends, nothing more.

ha this guy's got jokes

a MOAT AROUND THE SCHOOL

wheeze

also he's very pretty.

"the wolves and very talented humans"

how dare he forget to mention the very talented wolves and normal humans, smh erasure

"being nice, what a concept" ted talk by Lily who still doesn't have a last name

did she just say lol out loud

same with the hug emoji last episode-

go touch some grass babes

the way he didn't say no, but said he didn't know how the east high kids would react-

not saying he does want to date her but that's an interesting thing to think about, also another thing to write an essay analysis on just to leave it in my drafts for a few months

awww lily genuinely trying to help him

sorry guys, I've been taken by the Lily charm (didn't know it existed until now but oh well)

REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I'LL NEVER SHIP PORTWELL?

just look at me now

the Lily wink I can't she's so cute-

HELP ME I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY LIL-

David Attenborough?

oh nvm it's Benjamin narrating the show in a really weird British accent for some reason.

STEPHY GOT MORE LINES YAY GOOD FOR HER

also is this to show that Nini doesn't care about being the star of the show anymore? the way she's supporting everyone else even though she's a fork?

I would pay for a special of the full musical ngl

OOO THE TRANSFORMATION WAS SMOOTH

shockingly

yo where did the makeup come from

man I wish I was a theatre kid

THIS IS STEPHY'S EPISODE NOW IDC✋

my girl is starring

"needs an X-factor"

Simon Cowbell creeps in

"it's a yes from me"

and them boom, he takes Nini and mistreats her horribly and then she comes back to theatre after deciding music isn't for her👍

"I thought she just hog-tied him?"

don't ask sebby, it's better if you don't know.

imagine they spotlight the wrong person and this dude is just some random person that likes writing down stuff during shows.

Ms Jenn just let them do what they rehearsed (at some point we never saw) or else this is gonna end horribly wrong

"help"

same Carlos, same

I love how seb is just his translator rn

I thought he said "great displeasure" instead of "greatest pleasure"....help?

big red coming out from throwing up to see his girlfriend star is the cutest thing in this show.

Ash and Gina dancing is so fun

I'm imagining them practicing at night at their home, watching the movie for the 100th time and making sure their one dance together is perfect

KOURTNEY YES

HOWIE IS IN LOVE AHHHH

I LOVE HOWIE SO MUCH

SEBBY

THIS SCENE HAS SO MUCH GOING ON I CAN'T KEEP UP

THIS IS SO GOOD

HOW???

no because I'm actually crying

I'm dead serious.

we need this musical released as a special

big red is so proud and I love to see it

Natalie: "if you do not by at least 20 dollars in concessions, you do not support art"

rando in the audience: "but I pay for ad free Spotify"

Mr Mazzara clapping in the distance

Gigi, the guy you like is talking to you, complimenting you and hyping you up

YOU LUCKY LITTLE FEATHER DUSTER

aw EJ teasing her about the chocolates in a way that doesn't make her feel bad? take notes Richard

JORDAN FISHER

there is no rest of the show idc Jordan is it for me

THE WIG CAP ON RICKY OMG

they look like they're high and having "deep" conversations on the floor

THE MEAN GIRL WITH THE EYES-

@sunshine-julie-molina YOU HEAR THAT

Natalie really just be coming for them all

Howie what is happening rn

I'm scared

"did you enjoy it"

"very much"

dude wants a kiss so bad

ASHLYN OMG

NO DON'T DO IT BECAUSE OF LILY, PUT YOUR OWN TWIST ON IT

I want a Jordan autograph please

just keep swim- oh pushing...

Gina is literally a giant next to him and I live for it

am I about to cry for the 3rd time in this episode?

yes.

Ricky's leg kicks under the table makes me so happy aw

the portwell glances will kill me.

ah yes, mashed potato snow

Mr. M.... I'm not a theatre kid but even I know you can't have your phone on backstage.

Howie please just do it

CHIP'S BIG LINE I CANT

I LITERALLY HAD TO PAUSE IT AMD SCREAM INTO MY MASK FOR A SOLID 2 MINUTES (I'm not at home rn) HES SO CUTE

oh ok bye Jordan

oo tea

NOT HIM BEING STARSTRUCK BECAUSE HE'S MEETING HIS FUTURE BROTHER IN LAW-

"we're all just glad Gigi has a big brother figure in her life"

excuse me for a few thousand hours while I laugh hysterically

THE CAMERA ZOOM ON EJS FACE AND EVERYTHING-

STOP EJ LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA CRY BUT I CAN'T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY WITH THE STAGE MAKE-UP

someone else said this already but I think it's hilarious that they had to bring in 2 guest characters to create some portwell angst

omg this really is Cici's episode, found family is their thing

elevator music lol

I'm gonna bet that big red took the harness for his surprise for Ashlyn without realising what it was

did Ms. Jenn just....tell her most mentally unstable student....to commit suicide....on a disney show...was that....I'm very....well....what the actual-

oh and there she goes running off instead of trying to make it right

oh wow Nini's the hero, she's gonna save the show 🤩

😐

the judge is doing a sudoku

honestly if I went to the hsm show as well, I'd come prepared for this one too

Lily why are you looking like that-

I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE YOU DON'T MESS THIS UP

wow ok, there goes that.

omg

what if Howie was acting weird because he knew what Lily did and wanted to tell Kourtbut Lily threatened him so he was scared to-

anyways see y'all clowns next week when we all simultaneously lose all motivation for the week without Fridays to look forward to.

[satorinni]

𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲

synopsis: you were his everything; sun, moon, stars and all. he treated you so much like royalty that you expected nothing less. but it seems you took him for granted.

pairing: sakusa kiyoomi x fem!reader

warnings: angst, mostly angst, some fluff, readers kinda toxic ngl SUPER UNEDITED DONT YELL AT ME

a/n: uhhh idek if this counts as a fucking fic tbh, but it was inspired by a hc (that wasn’t even angst) that i saw, also i listened to grow old with you by adam sandler on repeat soooo yeah enjoy happy birfday to my future self cs this is queued<3

shit. you were late, again. it was your own fault, you knew that much. you went to bed late and didn’t bother setting an alarm. whatever, you were already late, why bother rushing? surely your professor would understand? 

this was your fault. no, not waking up late & not setting an alarm, (though that was still all you). no, the whole reason you never, ever bothered to wake up early enough to cook yourself breakfast: because you knew there would always be a fresh plate of eggs & bacon on the counter for you. the reason you never set an alarm or fixed your sleeping schedule: you knew someone would be there to wake you up & ensure you went to bed at a decent time. losing that, see, that was your fault.

to most, sakusa kiyoomi was a pretentious neat freak who disregarded everyone else’s comfort in preference of his own. to most, he was an outrageously good volleyball star who didn’t take interviews because his personal life was his personal life. to most, he was, well, kind of a dick. but alas, that was to most. you? you were not part of that majority. no, kiyoomi made sure to remind you of that every single time you saw him. whether it be through washing the dishes because he just knew you were stressed from school (without you ever having to say it). texting you good morning & good night every time he was away for a game (because yeah, he missed you just as much as you missed him). or even through the way he would cradle your face in his hands to kiss at your eyes whenever he finally came home (you cried every time, but he was always there to kiss your tears away). 

maybe you should’ve gone to his games more, cheer him on like the rest of his fans. though he never considered you a “fan”, merely his inspiration. maybe you should’ve dropped out of school to become his doting housewife. sakusa would never ask that of you, but sometimes the thought would creep into the back of your mind when school was too rough. maybe you should’ve traveled with him,  part of you thought the distance is what made it end, but that was your brain making excuses because deep down you knew distance would never be the reason.

 ~~~

“don’t you miss me when you’re gone?” you knew the answer, but moments like this were rare, so you held onto them when you got the chance. your eyes were still closed, but you knew his were open by the flutter of his eyelashes against yours.

“i miss you every single minute that i can’t see your smile.” as if on cue, a soft smile builds on your face. he could probably feel your heartbeat with how close he was. your fingers grazed the curls at the nape of his neck and you shiver, as if the goosebumps you left in your wake were contagious. 

“what do you miss about me?” humor me, you thought, because he was leaving tomorrow and you needed something to savor for the next few weeks. he hums softly, large hands stroking small circles against your cheek. 

“i miss going to dinner an hour early to avoid the swarm of paparazzi trying to snap pictures of my girl.” you giggle at this. the paps were actually always trying to snap pics of him, because of his tendency to never leave hotel rooms, photos of him were always so rare. 

“i miss fighting over the remote because you always wanna watch those nature documentaries.” he constantly complained about how boring they were, but always let you have the remote anyway. you try shifting closer to him, as if your foreheads and every part of you body wasn’t already pressed against his. 

“i miss the nights i get to spend putting you to bed when you drink too much with your friends.” you open your eyes at this. he’s looking directly into yours. 

“i thought you hated that?” mornings after are always filled with his complaints of how you reeked of alcohol and sweat. you always told him he didn’t have to clean up after you, but he would just roll his eyes and change the subject.

at this, he smiles and kisses you softly. suddenly, you forget what you’re even talking about until he pulls away. 

“mostly, i just miss you, princess.” at first, the nickname started as a joke. when you first started dating, his friends thought you were a mooch. always having sakusa clean the house, get the groceries, remind you of your dentist appointments, treat you like a princess. despite this, whenever you tried to protest that you were an independent woman or that you could do things yourself, he would laugh and kiss away your complaints.

“i would travel across the seas everyday for 20 years if it meant i could see you smile and hear you laugh.” a grin spreads across your face. “even if it means i have to deal with your morning breath.” your eyes widen in embarrassment. you cover your face with your hands and whine. 

“yoomi!” he laughs, but pries your hands away and kisses you again. you smile into the kiss, reveling in the feeling of being his girl.

“i love you.” he whispers against your lips. you kiss him harder, not bothering to say it back because you both know you’d walk to the ends of the earth for him. 

~~~

after a while, you became dependent on him. on the occasions he was home, he did everything for you. and even when he wasn’t, he would still call everyday to make sure you feed the cat and call your mother. little things. maybe after 4 years you started getting selfish. 

“princess, it’ll just be for two days?” he was trying to reason with you, but you didn’t see the point. nothing he said would’ve made you change your mind. 

“yoomi, i don’t want you to go!” looking back, maybe you were being a bit insufferable. after all, it was nationals, there would be olympic recruiters there. kiyoomi had a shot at being in the olympics.  but still, it was your anniversary. “we were supposed to go to paris remember? the city of love? don’t you love m-” he cuts you off before you finish.

“of course i love you. don’t ever doubt that i do. but i can’t let my team down. i can’t let japan down. i have to go, princess.” you turn away from him, fingers running across your forehead in rapid annoyance. school had been extra stressful, but you were graduating this year. this was the only break you had, and you had really been hoping to spend it in paris with the love of your life.

“why don’t you come with me?” it was quiet, but something about the suggestion made you furious. you had never gone to his away games before. not because you didn’t want to, but because sakusa preferred to keep your relationship private. he liked it better when you watched him through the tv screen. 

“i don’t want to. i want to go to paris. i want to celebrate our anniversary and come back home so i can finish my finals. so i can graduate and i can travel with you as much as you want.” maybe that was the breaking point. maybe he finally realized how much of a brat you were being, regardless of how much you loved him and he loved you.

~~~

in attempt to stop the words ringing in your head, you open your eyes and sit up. you were already two hours late, what was the point in going to school at all? didn’t matter if you graduated anyway, you didn’t have anywhere to go, no one to be with. your professor would understand.

you sob quietly into your hands. It was no use, you could still hear him. 

“i can’t do this anymore, y/n.” you wanted to scream. youcanyoucanyoucan. you should’ve. but you knew you couldn’t. he was going to be in the olympics. he had his whole life ahead of him, and who were you? just his selfish girl. his girl who couldn’t even bother to go to his game that day on your anniversary. the game where he scored the winning spike and pointed directly to the cameras. the game where he screamed through tears, this one’s for you, princess. 

the game you didn’t watch. 

this was your fault. you knew it was. there was no point in being angry with him. he loved you. you knew that. but after he left you couldn’t help but wonder, did i really love him? or did i love everything he did for me?

three months. it took three months to realize that, yes, i love him with every fiber of my being. It took three whole months to realize that you tore out your own heart and his when you let him walk out. because after three months you realized he would’ve stayed the second you asked him to. but you didn’t. and that was your fault.

© satorinni 2020 // do not copy or repost //

[angeliclunaetic]

just thinking back to the day i met him, till now and,, there was always something about him. something that drew me in and everything just felt right. That day we met,, something about him just drew me in. idk if it was his sense of humor or just how polite n sweet and caring he was in general but it was,, something. idek why i even texted him in the first place. i just commented on his stuff and decided to text him. we talked for a few and then he showed me a pic of himself and i was just,, in awe. he really was the cutest thing ever. yes i had thought abt using him when i first saw him but,, i couldnt even if i had wanted to. i seen his pic and thought “yeah he looks like he’d be easy to use” but then by the end of texting him that night,, i fell so deeply for him. actually no. i already fell for him. way before we even met. that must be how everything felt so right. but just texting him a little bit that first night,, i just instantly wanted to know more about him. i never even talked abt someone else to my gc and for some reason i had the urge to talk about him,, like i knew he was the one but didn’t realize it. and then when we called for the first time,, i swear i had butterflies. even though i was otp with him and his friend,, i was so nervous to just talk to him. i had thought of him as my crush at that point. no one had ever made me feel that way. i never got so nervous to talk to anyone. i wanted to stay quiet that entire time so i wouldnt say something stupid and embarrass myself but something about him,, made me want to be so open. so i talked to him,, and when we got off the phone of our first call,, i was so incredibly sad. i wanted to talk to him more and more and i just wanted to call him again already,, but i wasnt sure how he had felt or if he even felt the same. i thought he did but i didnt wanna assume and make a fool out of myself. i wasnt sure if he had a crush or if he was just being nice. but after a while it was easy to realize. he was way too sweet and caring to me. more than a friend should be. he was there for me the night i was bawling otp w my ex. and he got mad and upset about how my ex was treating me in a way that was different than just my friends. and thats what made me fall for him even more. just him. being himself. him being so sweet. so caring. him just being there for me and not judging me and wanting others to treat me right. and when we videocalled that first time,,i was so nervous. i was worried he’d see what i look like and not be attracted to me anymore. but he still was. but i was so nervous anyways. but when i saw him on video call for the first time,, i was in shock. how could someone be so cute. so perfect. how could someone capture my heart just by simply smiling at me. i knew from then, that i, was in love with him. i wanted to be his so badly. but when he had asked me out i wanted to just scream yes at him,, but something in my mind told me to just calm down and wait,, however a part of me was worried that if i had made him wait that he’d find someone better and leave me. but he didn’t he stayed. even after that night i had told him everything. of how i used to use people and how i had originally planned to use him and he still stayed. i swear i felt my heart break that night and i was crying so much out of fear that he’d leave me before we even got together. i had such strong feelings for him and i wanted him to be mine. but i wanted to make sure i was away from,, that thing,, and that i fully loved him before i got into anything serious. i didnt wanna jump from relationship to relationship either. a part of me just wanted to be single and just have fun. but just,, talking to him and texting him,, i wanted him. i didnt care if i wasnt single. i just wanted him. but also a part of me didnt want to love again. or “love” as i should say considering i never loved anyone before him. i was mentally and emotionally exhausted and relationships are just so much work and you have to give someone such a large piece of yourself and i wouldnt be able to handle being broken again. so many thoughts ran through my head. “what if i dont love him, what if im just attracted to him because im going through things and he’s there for me” “what if he wont wait for me” “what if he doesnt like me “ “what if im using him and dont realize” “what if i get hurt” all these “what if’s” and i never once thought abt the reality of it all. that i, had feelings for him. that he felt the same. that he was willing to wait for me, even if it took years. that he would never hurt me and even allowed himself to be hurt by me if that meant even just getting a chance at me loving him. i guess i was just so worried and just in shock. no ones felt so deeply for me before.and that night that i had asked him out,,, i had seen a pic of my ex with this new girl and i felt absolutely nothing towards it. so then,, thats when i knew. i was over him. that emotional attachment was gone. and my feelings for sam were real. and we had called that night,, that entire night i was so nervous and got butterflies, and i realized i never stopped smiling once during that whole phone call. and after we got of,, i, once again, was extremely sad. i wanted to hear his voice talking to me for hours and hours. i wanted to smile and feel nervous and get butterflies. and at that point i was like,, fuck it. yes i was still worried that my feelings werent true. but what was the harm in trying. he was the only person to have caught my eye in like,, ever. he was on my mind that whole night and probably abt like 30 mins after we got off call i asked him out. my feelings for him were too strong. i was worried he wouldnt wait and i couldnt risk losing someone as special as him to someone else,, if i did, i wouldve never forgiven myself. im glad i asked him out. even though i had surprised myself by it,, i just couldnt wait any longer,, i needed to make him mine. and i did. and i wouldnt change it for the world. the first month for me was very,, rough. of course we were still getting to know each other and our boundaries,, and i of course made some mistakes. my fears of possibly not having true feelings were coming back. and it pushed him away because he didnt wanna get hurt. and he almost left me. those two nights that we had an issue and he had left me,, they broke me. they really did. that  was the worst i had ever been. the crying,, the screaming,, the anger and complete sadness i felt. i felt as if i had lost everything. i felt as if i had nothing left. if i didnt have him,, then,, who am i. im nothing without him. he’s my other half. my soulmate. and i thought i had lost him. im glad im so annoying and clingy otherwise i’d be so fucking heartbroken without him. we had only been together for less than a month those two times and yet i felt so strongly for him. nothing has ever made me feel this way. i had never wanted to keep someone in my life so bad before. it was like,, i needed him to breathe. i needed him to smile. i just,, needed him. i cant live without him. just thinking about a life without him makes me fucking sick. i want him and only him for the rest of our lives. no one can even compare to him. im just,, in shock. like im really in love with him and it just amazes me. im sitting here writing this as he’s sound asleep and i just. i miss him a lot. i guess all my feelings are coming out now since ive been distant the past month but,, i dont care. ill gladly shout from the rooftops how much i love him. god there’s so much more i could say about us. even before we started dating. i cant get over the rush i felt. the excitement, the nerves, the butterflies,, even all the “what if’s”,, i still get nervous and get butterflies when talking to him but ofc they’re not gonna be as strong as when we had met and declared our love for each other. speaking of love,, now im reminded of the day i had told him that i love him,, we had “argued” the day before and i thought i had lost him for good,, and that next day,,i wanted nothing more than to just hold him and kiss him and tell him that i love him. i know the words “i love you” is such a meaningful thing,, i couldnt help but tell him. its exactly how i felt. i loved him. i couldnt be apart from him,, even after only a week of dating him,, i was in love that night i thought he was leaving me for good,, absolutely broke me. and the next day i just wanted to hold him tight and never let him go. even though i was so nervous to tell him that i loved him,, i just,, i knew i was sure. no one had ever made me feel so strongly about them. yeah ive cried over my ex. but nothing could ever compare to just the complete distraught i felt that night. that crying so much it burned my throat and threw up,, the screaming,, just the complete sadness and anger i felt. after that,, i knew i loved him, and i wasnt afraid to tell him. i was nervous bc of how he’d react but i knew that i was never more sure of anything else in my life. i love him. and i want to be with him forever. 

[flimflamfandom]

The Man Loves His Work

psst- Hey, kids! You want some sappy mushy-gushy calvy (are we calling calvin and Ivy that now calvy idek anymore I like it) one shots? First one’s free!

Words:1115 Summary: Calvin comes back to the daisy from a long night on the job. warnings: Blatant discussion of violence, fatally saccharine romance, bad impressions of Mitzi May’s southern drawl, even worse impressions of Nina McMurray’s brogue

Calvin adjusted his jacket, pulling it closer. “It’s cold...it’s really cold, Rocky.” He shivered as they pulled into the hiding spot for the truck. Rocky and Calvin had just had an eventful run in with some Marigold staff; eventful meaning that Calvin was able to put 5 more on the scoreboard. He looked down, trembling. Rocky looked over. “Ehh, Calvin, I dunno exactly how to tell you this about the chills, but-”

“But what?” Calvin looked over, a look of desperate fear in his eyes.

“It’s june. The high was 90 today.” Calvin was still shaking after bouts of rage. He thought at one point he’d grow out of it; it would become like a power that he could control. Turns out, he could at least manage to get it to stop sometimes, but he was still traumatized every time it happened.

Calvin took off his jacket and walked into the daisy, huddling in towards himself. He looked horrified; like he’d seen a ghost mugging another ghost. He sat in the corner, and the crowd of young people partying produced, of all people, Ivy.

“Freckle!” She hugged him and picked him up, trying to head for the floor. Calvin just shook his head. “I...not now, Ivy.” Ivy knew that look. She wasn’t too adept at dealing with it in large crowds. It was, after all, a very intimate problem, and most people don’t want to know that they’re dancing next to a hitman. She crossed her arms, and looked at the crowd. Calvin was more important...besides, she’d been going all night.

The two found themselves up in the office. Calvin had loosened his tie and had his head in his hands. “Christ, Ivy, how long am I gonna keep lying to myself that I can do this?”

“Calvin, sweetie, you’re not lying! You’re fine.”

Calvin shook. “One...one of them I only tagged.” Ivy scooted a little closer to him on the office’s sofa, one that Atlas used to lounge on. Calvin started again. “I...got his arm twice, I think.” He said. “He was...he was screaming the whole time.” Ivy nodded. “Did you help him?”

“I wanted to, I wanted to so bad, but-” He started to cry. “We were in a hurry, they were shooting back hard at that point. I think...I think he bled to death.” He was sobbing. It wasn’t a handsome cry, like the sort you saw in pictures when the girl dies at the end and a single tear drips wistfully down John Gilbert’s face. It was hard to watch, almost. “I’m a monster, that’s it, just a goddamn monster!” Ivy held him and sighed. “Calvin, you and I both know that’s not true! You’re a sweet guy, you-”

“Sweet guys don’t leave someone to die because they’re in a hurry!” He recoiled, speaking through a choked throat and tears.

“Oh, Calvin...they were trying to kill you, right? It was self defense!”

“I know, I know, I keep telling myself that, but…” Calvin leaned back and stared at the ceiling. He was starting to regain himself.

“But what, Calvin?”

“Is it worth leaving him there?” he looked over. “Am I worth leaving him there?”

“Yes!” She said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Of course you are!”

“How am I ANY different from the boys I just shot?”

Ivy thought a moment. She sighed. These weren’t exactly noble excursions to rid the world of hatred, after all. They were running liquor and they got shot at. So they shot back. End of story. Ivy was looking for the right words to say. But she soon came to realize that there weren’t many things to say after all. They hadn’t gotten the girl and saved the day, they didn’t rescue the orphanage, and as far as she knew the school teacher had been wedded to the outlaw.

“Calvin...you aren’t too different.” Calvin nodded. “BUT-” Ivy continued, holding his hand and squeezing it, “You’re mine, and I love you, and the daisy needs you. You’re valued. Those goons? Asa probably never even met them.” She stroked a thumb across his cheek. “But you’ve got a face that Mitzi knows. And she’d be horrified if she lost you...mostly because I’d never let her hear the end of it.”

“Neither would my mom.” He said. A joke! Ivy was making headway. Ivy chuckled. “No, she’d be furious!” Ivy faked an Irish accent. “Ho-arr, me boy’s dun kicked th’bucket, an it’s yer fahlt!” Calvin laughed gently, feigning a deep southern accent.

“Wha, ah do declayuh, miz McMurray, that chahld plum got hisself shawt!” Ivy could barely speak, and laughing tears were starting to form in her eyes. “She doesn’t sound like that, Freckle! That’s like Dominic Drago. Hers is more...refined.”

“Ah, I see.” He sat up. “I would try and do Wick’s but it’s too fancy. Rocky does him well though.” Calvin thought a moment. “Ivy?”

“Freckle?”

“It’s normal to think about all that stuff, right?” The tone started to shift. “I don’t want to be the only one who has remorse for it.” Ivy nodded. “I hear a lot of folks had that problem right after the war. Killing changes people, Calvin.” She wrapped her arms around his chest. “Not always in bad ways, but always, definitely.” Calvin thought a moment. “I guess it just makes me more self aware. I could be next, y’kno-”

“Don’t talk like that!” Ivy knew full well that he could be the next person to fall. She didn’t want to think about it, though. Calvin, meanwhile, couldn’t help but think about it.

“Ivy, we have to talk about that. It’s important.”

“I don’t wanna think about having to get along without you now that I just got you! I mean, you didn’t even know you were playing hard to get and here you were!” Calvin smiled gently, running a hand up one of Ivy’s evening gloves. Calvin spoke. “I suppose that’s why I’m defending myself then? Is this what makes me worth it?”

“Love? Sure.” She said. “I think so, anyway.”

The two had drawn closer together, their eyes misty and half open.

“I suppose that’s the best reason there is?” Calvin whispered.

“I suppose so, Calv-” Calvin pressed his lips to hers before she could finish speaking. The kiss was deep and long, that sort she typically had to trick him into. She held on tight, and pulled away after a good while. She blushed and smiled. “Well...talk about a movie kiss, huh?”

A lot of life for these two wasn’t the way the movies depicted it, but at least their love could be, for now.

Calvin smiled. “Want another?”

“Sure.”

[starchildrenofdustand-ashes]

My Spongebob Squarepants Experience!

I saw spongebob 8/11/18 with the OBC except Christina Sajous as Sandy and Catherine Ricofort was Karen . (This has been sitting in my drafts I totally forgot to publish it oops) I sat in the fifth row of the first mezzanine. These are just some things that happened on stage that I liked :)

🍍This was probably the best turn off your cellphone notice (besides once on this island ofc)

🍍On the middle of the stage there is a mini construction of their houses they lift it up and the screen behind them is transformed into a pineapple

🍍They flip the model over revealing ethan who is sleeping he is shaken awake by his alarm

🍍 Gary is on a skateboard bless

🍍He brushes Gary’s eyeball and not is teeth

🍍Spongebob actually named all the things that rhyme with rock for Patrick and one of them was “pop and lock” —- Hello strobes

🍍 When they introduce sandy a projection of a squirrel with a cowboy hat appears

🍍After sandy sings her part in bikini bottom day they hear their first tremor

Spongebob says he likes the tremor lol

🍍Plankton is sitting in a chum bucket lol.

🍍Wesley has a tiny plankton puppet in his hand and in his other hand he has a telescope that puppet plankton is looking through.

🍍Karen puts a magnifying glass over plankton

🍍Patrick and sandy actually come into the mezz during the dialogue in this song

🍍Spongebob actually puts his hand on the grill when he’s talking to squidward and squidward is like YOUR HAND and spongebob is like oh! And he takes his spatula and flips his head

🍍ALEX GIBSON WAS PERCH (I love Alex Gibson sm, because the TGC and he was literally the SWEETEST at the spongebob/ comet stage door)

🍍 Sandy has a whiteboard and a stick as she explains what’s gonna happen

🍍Ethan slater did a crazy split during the end of No Control

🍍During BFF spongebob actually pulls out a piece of cheese from behind Patrick’s couch.

🍍they have a LoT of fun with that sofa lol.

🍍 The words bff come on stage

🍍It takes Karen a while to give Plankton a beat he actually likes and when she does , When the Going gets Tough happens.

🍍 Karen bets plankton that he can’t rap lol

🍍Wesley killed it I love him wow

🍍 I was sooo surprised by the speed rap GUNS AND SHIPS WHAT??

🍍Wesley actually puts a lil plankton on his foot after his giant dance

🍍I LoVE subtle shots at the government

🍍 Tentacle Spectacle the Musical lol I love squidward

🍍when mr krabs calls spongebob a simple sponge he keeps whisper/echos sponge as he slowly sinks off stage

🍍 There are glow in the dark sponges around spongbob as he sings not a simple sponge

🍍when mr krabs comes back and says just a simple sponge the sponges leave the stage. They all come back when he starts singing again at the climax

🍍Perch tells everyone that the apocalypse is today and they all freak out but then he says he misread it and the day to tomorrow

🍍Mrs. Puff plans to drink herself into oblivion with kelp juice before the apocalypse and then she says Carpe Diem and her barista yells ‘who are you calling a carp”

🍍old man Jenkins is kinda horrible lol. He just wants someone to blame and they decide to blame sandy

🍍Pearl comes on stage with two dresses and Krabs takes them from her and hands them to spongebob who puts one around his neck so it looks like he’s wearing it he’s so cute

🍍I wanna know how krabs costume works bc he’s picking stuff up so those claws no way he could

🍍 Jai’Len what the fuck yes I need a recording with her the fuck

🍍when pearl says he has dollars in his eyes he puts the money bags in front of his face

🍍she pulls these things out of her pockets and when she cries she puts them to her face and tears squeeze out

🍍Spongebob comforts Pearl as she’s crying

🍍”oh karen as I look into your screen I can feel the very earth quake”

🍍the bolder that first falls is actually a rubber ball and it comes down this contraption stage right

🍍When Spongebob goes to get Patrick he finds him on the sofa with his navel scratcher

🍍””Life smells weird””

🍍sandy runs across stage trying to get away from the angry mob who’s looking for her with pitchforks

🍍 There is a sign that says “LAND MAMELS GO HOME” and it’s spray painted and sandy gets rlly discouraged Sandy :(

🍍 Sandy has got some sick pink nunchaku

🍍She packs up her stuff and Patbob Spongerick convinces her not to go and Hero is my Middle Name happens

🍍The whiteboard is back and so is the stick and planning YES SANDY

🍍ETHAN SLATER AND BACKFLIPS YES

🍍 Squidward loves his mama and he says “I’m a pretty squid mama”

🍍 RHOMBUS SLACKS

🍍Karen and Plankton share a moment over spongebob while he is frozen and Karen’s screen has a fire on it (whenever Karen and plankton are on stage everything freezes as they scheme)

🍍The Sardines (?) come up to Patrick and sing their bopping song

🍍They actually bake Patrick a cake

🍍They have church fans with Patrick’s face on it

🍍They give Patrick a robe and a crown

🍍SPONGEBOB AND PATRICK HAVE THE SADDEST/ CUTEST ARGUMENT NOOOO I WAS SO SAD

🍍The next boulders fall from the contraption stage right but this time there are a lOT of tiny bolders

🍍ITS TIME FOR YOUR LAST INTERMISSION EVER

🍍hello patchy

🍍security comes and forces Patchy and the other pirates off stage again lol

🍍Spongbob said he had a nightmare that he and Patrick weren’t friends anymore AHHH I WAS SO SAD BC HE WAS LIKE NOOOOOOOOO and they had the voice that says “1 hour later” and the lights would blink out and it eventually gets to fifteen years later and he has a white beard lol.

🍍let’s just clap for the conductor bc she literally hands and takes a ton of props from the actors

🍍The government is getting worse and the mayor says “you’re either with me or against me”

🍍Armageddon rich Lol

🍍They’ve got a cool box that glows when it opens with Sandy’s invention in it

🍍they should just give plankton and Karen another song

🍍the electric skates are on skateboards and skates

🍍idek if it was supposed to happen but one of them (green Hair dude) fell off his board when he was doing a cool stunt thing 😬

🍍Squidward has tissue in his ears while they’re singing

🍍red head dude just shouts “rOCk and rOlL”

🍍these bitches give poor squidward the most ridicilous list and they told him if he got it all he would be able to open for them THEY DONT EVEN HOLD UP THEIR END OF THE DEAL UGHH

🍍Chop to the top was lit. Also Ethan is like a rubber band he just twists and sings upside down and stretches

🍍Patrick gets a thrown and these sardines are worshipping

🍍IiiIiiIieeeieiii GUESS I MISS YOUuuUuUu

🍍”Sheldon sounds so small. Maybe you could call me something else like...... big guy?” “big guy??” “YES BIG GUY SAY IT AGAIN” “big guy” “ahh” “BIG GUY” *strange sexual noise, jumps into planktons arms, they make out and hearts appear in the background*

🍍LET MY BABY SING HIS TENTACLE SPECTACLE

🍍HES NOT A LOSER

🍍shook is the wrong word to describe how I felt when Gavin lee started rap dancing with four legs WTF. I wish they performed something else at the tony awards but WOWOW HES SO GOOD

🍍Perch Shows the rubble that is bikini bottom on the news

🍍the mayor makes me want to poke my eyes out

🍍Another bolder falls, Larry goes crazy and old man Jenkins gets flattened

🍍As they narrate spongbob and sandy climbing the mounts they use cabbage patch kinda lol

🍍Patrick comes in on the ceiling, flying bc of Sandy’s jet pack

🍍I love spongbob and Patrick I need a best friend like that “WE ARE BACK AND THIS IS THE BACK DANCE”

🍍the volcano is made of ladders

🍍SPONGEBOB BRINGS MANAGEMENT TO THE TEAM HES MANAGER MATERIAL

🍍so many turns and twists ETHAN SINGS UPSIDEDOWN

🍍ofC SPONGEBOB IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN FIX IT AND HE DOES YOURE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE

🍍it’s complete chaos when they all get back down from the mountain

🍍the mayor and the press (perch) hate each other and perch is tied up and ballgagged Lol

🍍ITS THE BEST DAY EVER

🍍they’re all holding hands waiting for the end and then bubbles fall bc sandy is a success bby squirrel

🍍plankton reveals that this was an evil schemes

🍍plankton and krabs are arguing and their curses are blocked out by dolphin squeals

🍍Spongebob gets his uke from the conductor and he screams are you ready to rock and he does an air split thing and starts playing bikini bottom day sps track l

🍍Audience is sprayed with confetti and other fun stuff and then they throw out beach balls and sing the theme song. It’s such a fun show I wish a lot more people would give it a show. If I’m being honest I enjoyed it much more than I enjoyed Hamilton when I saw it in chi.

[superfluouskeys]

Game Ask : multiples of 5 👀

THANK FRIEND!!!!!

5. Game with the best soundtrack? 

Hmmmmmmmm I’d say Dragon Age: Origins and Mass Effect 2 have some of my fave BG music

10. Prefer PC or console? 

PC GOBLIN FOREVER.  Honestly I’ve only played on consoles a few times in my life and it just feels a lot more difficult for me to hand-eye coordinate LOL.

15. Favorite animal in a video game? 

The mabari in Dragon Age closely followed by your fucking fortnite chameleon

20. Favorite publisher and/or developer? 

Idk lol I’m not really big on brand loyalty--I’ll go wherever there are interesting characters and pretty graphics.

25. Proudest accomplishment in gaming? 

Currently on my mind is my four-hour Descent battle that I somehow won LOL.  Also becoming a halfway decent Widowmaker like that I no longer feel embarrassed to pick her is amazing.

30. On average, how long does it take you in the character creation screen?

I try not to take too long because it can kind of rob me of the momentum to actually play the game.  I really zipped through it on stream though LOL I was like this MUST be FAST people are waTchING

35. Best protagonist? 

I have the world’s biggest soft spot for female Hawke and female Shepard, but I just started AC:Odyssey and I have a feeling Kassandra is gonna be up there soon because *****heart eyes*******

40. Favorite voice actor? 

i’m so glad you gave me the opportunity to scream JENNIFER!!!!!!!! HALE!!!!!!!!!!!

45. Do you like funny or more serious games? 

I like a mixture I guess?  Though I’d say I prefer a generally more serious tone at least in story-based games.

50. How many games do you own? 

I?????  Have no idea honestly I’ll just tell you how many I have on my comp currently, which is something like 21.

55. How much time, on average, do you play in a week? 

It’s been a LOT lately lol because I’ve had nothing else to do and my last two brain cells had no interest in anything else but I’d say I still got in a few hours a week even when I was super busy.

60. The game you are best at? 

Idk that I’d strictly say I am “””””good””””” at any game LOL like I play how I want to play and while I am pretty achievement-oriented and I like to challenge myself and improve my skills, I find it really annoying when people act like there’s only one way to be better at something.  Like, actually in schools they used to teach you different methods of doing eg. math problems so you could find what worked for you, and now they’re like trying to unify the Technique, which is bullshit, because everyone learns differently.  Same concept.

65. Any favorite screenshots of games? 

hang on gotta dig up.....

the pile of ashes.

70. Do you play any mobile games? 

I kinda cycle through little puzzle and word games to like keep my hands busy while I wait for things.  If you wanna challenge me at TriviaCrack I will mEET YOU IN THE PIT.  I used to play Pokemon Go but idek what it is anymore lol.  And I have that Super Mario Run game which i really like actually.

75. Do you focus on main storyline/quest or do sidequests first? 

Actually--one of my major problems with ME:Andromeda was that the game did not keep me from progressing the main quest way too fucking fast lol.  Like it can be frustrating to have to grind side quests to get to the main story, but on the flip side, I literally zoomed through that game on accident because no one stopped me lol.

[thewinsister]

Pretty Boy Pt.3

Warnings: FLUFF basically just that. Also swearing like once

Characters: Sam and Dean Winchester, Sister!Reader Winchester, Peter Parker (Tom Holland)

Summary: after Peter takes y/n home, her brothers request something she never expected from them. (is that a good summary? idek)

Word Count: 1,588

Y/N: your name

Y/N/N: your nickname

Pretty Boy PT.1

Pretty Boy PT.2

“Y/N, what the hell? Where were you?” Your brother Dean yelled worried out of his mind.

“Dean, wait she’s hurt.” Sam said, always noticing the little stuff. Quickly you were hurried onto a chair by your moose of a brother, while Dean simply stood with his arms crossed glaring at you. You knew you should feel bad, but you really didn’t. You didn’t feel bad because: 1. You’re a responsible teenager that can take care of herself, your brothers should know that. They were the ones who taught you how to defend yourself. 2. You had just had a great night with Peter aka crush aka Pretty boy.

“Y/N M/N Winchester. How did this happen?” Dean spoke with a controlled yet stern tone in his voice.

“It was a werewolf.”

“A werewolf?”

“Yup.”

“Can you be more specific? What happened? Did you kill it? Were there any others with it?”

“Yeah I’m fine Dean, thanks for asking.” You said sarcastically. You were sitting there, with your arm bleeding out and he doesn’t even have the decency to ask if you’re okay? Great brother.

He sighed out, sitting down in the chair beside you, “I’m sorry”.

“It’s fine.” As much of a dick he can be sometimes, you would always forgive him. He was your brother after all, and you knew that whatever shitty thing he did, it was probably unintentional.

“Look Y/N/N, we need to know what happened so we can stop this from happening again. So please tell us.” Sam spoke in a much sweeter and calmer voice, like he normally did.

When you were finally done telling the story of what had happened- being careful to avoid the spiderman parts as to not reveal Peter’s identity- your brothers sat silent for a while thinking on what you had just said. We had originally come here because of a ghost case, not werewolf. It is rare to find two cases in the same spot. That is what you had imagined they were thinking of at least. You were wrong.

“So this Peter boy. You like him?” Asked your shorter older brother. He quirked his eyebrow and stared at you waiting for you to answer. Your other sibling repeated this action and leaned in more toward you. It was as if the werewolf and coming home late ordeal wasn’t even important anymore, they just cared about who you liked. Typical.

You laughed nervously and shook you head and let you hair fall in front of your face so they wouldn’t notice how embarrassed you were.

They continued staring.

“N-No, of course not. Why would you even think that? That’s just insane” You lied, seeing that they wouldn’t stop staring until you give an actual answer.

“I mean you did mention this guys at least 40 times when you said what had happened. Doesn’t seem so insane to me.” Sam as always came in with logic. Damn him. You knew you couldn't continue the lie now, I mean they basically knew the truth already.

“I-I,” You hesitated for a second, they were going to tease you so much, “Yeah. I like him.” You looked down at your fiddling hands, you really didn’t want to see their reactions. “But I mean, it’s not like he likes me back. He wouldn’t. We’re just friends….” You trailed off, your realization made you sad. You knew you couldn’t let it affect you though, this was just shit that happens to everyone. But, you still couldn’t stop the fact that this was the first guy that really made you feel good about yourself. And it’s only been about a week!

“Hey, it’s okay. You don’t know that for sure” Said Dean upon seeing how the topic was getting to you.

“Exactly, why don’t you bring him over for lunch tomorrow and we’ll see. You know Dean and I have brother vision, we can notice everything.”

“WHAT!?” You and Dean exclaimed. What was he thinking?

“Okay, now that is insane. Why would we do that?”

“Oh come on, I want to meet my baby sister’s crush. Don’t you dean?”

He thought  hard for a moment, he didn’t notice you crossing your fingers under the table for him to say no.

“I guess you’re right. I do wanna meet who my sister fancies.”

“fuck.” you whispered, hoping your brothers didn’t hear.

“Hey, watch your mouth missy.” Of course they heard. Brother vision also comes with ultrasonic hearing.

“So, tell him to come over tomorrow. Yeah?” Asked sam, he gave you his famous puppy dog look.

“Ugh, fine. You guys are weird.” You stood up and walked towards your bed and flopped down on it.

“What did you just say?” Dean said, you could hear the smirk in his voice. What was he going to do?

“Um, fine?”

“No no, the other thing?” He slowly walked closer to you.

“… y-you guys are weird?”

“Yup!” He jumped on your bed and began tickling you. A loud laugh erupted from your throat, “shhh, there are people sleeping next door little sister. Be considerate” He continued moving his fingers along you abdomen. Your laugh now became more controlled, but tears began rolling down your cheeks. “Now, say your sorry squirt!”

“Nope! You guys are really weird!” You tried to say in between giggles.

“Really?” Asked sam, who had been watching the scene from afar. He bolted up to you and joined Dean, tickling you as well. “Wrong answer”

“F-fine, fine! I’m sorry”

“I guess we are kinda weird.” Said Dean, and you all erupted in laughter.

Y/N: hey, I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my place for lunch tomorrow? Maybe we can finish the project?

Peter: Sure! At what time should I be there?

Y/N: Around 11? Does that work for you?

Peter: Yeah! See you then… monster hunter

Y/N: Guess you will, spider boy.

Peter: it’s SPIDER-MAN!

You dropped your phone on to the nightstand next to you, and smiled. Even if he didn’t like you, it was still a friendship you wanted to keep. He was a nice guy that respected you, which honestly these days is pretty hard to find. It just seemed like he always gets you, understands what you mean even when you yourself don’t.

Peter came by at 11:00 on the dot. Your brothers had gone to do some interviews around the neighbourhood about the new case you had found- werewolves. When you heard the knock on the door you nearly screamed with nervousness. You kept your cool though, and went to open the door.

You exhaled to try and calm yourself before opening the door. The door revealed Peter, wearing a blue sweatshirt and a plaid shirt underneath, along with his old worn out sneakers he always wore. He looked at you as if inspecting you as you just did with him; you were wearing some skinny jeans with a wool white sweater and combat boots. You both realized you had been staring at each other for at least 10 seconds to long.

“H-hi” Peter spoke with his adorable voice he only used when he was nervous.

“Hey, um come in.” You said and opened the door wider for him to come in. You had fixed the room as best as you could, but it was still an old motel room. “Welcome to my home, it isn’t a lot but it’s home.”

“So, this is where cool monster hunters live. Awesome!” It was strange to you that he was genuinely excited about this. To you this was the same old, going across the country just staying in motel rooms going to different schools and well, hunting monsters.

“Um, well my brothers are coming in a while. If you want we can finish the project?”

“B-brothers?” You laughed as you saw his face become pale.

“Yeah… you scared spider-boy? They don’t bite,” You thought for a minute, “Well they might, but I won’t let them bite you.” 

“First off, it’s Spider-Man”

“Right”

“Second, I’m not scared. I’m just you know…”

“Terrified?” You laughed out.

“No, I’m not- I mean. Yeah kinda.”

“Why, I mean”, you turned your back, you were about to say something risky and you really didn’t want to see his face, “it’s not like you like me or something…”

“What if I do?” your heart stopped. Be cool Y/N, be COOL.

“Well, you’re in for a surprise.” You turned around to look at this boy. The boy you liked so so much. You almost jumped when you saw how close he had gotten since you had turned your back on him.

“oh? What would that surprise be?” He stepped closer to you, by now you were at least a foot a part. What was up with this sudden boost of confidence? You could feel his warmth on you, or maybe it was the heat on your cheeks expanding. You couldn’t now.

“That I like you too.” He smiled brightly, as did you when you saw his grin.

“I like the idea of that.” Peter aka your crush aka Pretty Boy leaned into you leaving enough space for you to fill in, which made your heart melt at how much of a gentleman he was even in moments like this. Just when you were going to press your lips onto his you were cut off by the sound of the door opening.

“Hey guys! How you doin’?”

Your brothers.

.................................................................................................................

Look at me writing. Hope you guys liked this! I do want to make more stuff  I just never have time with school going on. We’re already like half way through, like ??? 

I will try my best to be a little more present and not just reblogging memes and stuff. See you!

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 14 (Finale) | “All of this and more, but only in Autumn's World” - Autumn

So I figured out that Amir does have the idol and Jakey originally had it that round... damn I wish I looked a little more but I just didn't think Jakey had it. So that probably means that Autumn is going this round, and then I just need to find a way to win this next challenge over Amir. I know Kendall and I will vote together next round regardless, so worst case scenario next round for me is that I am in some kind of fire-making challenge, but I at least see there being a good chance that me and Kendall could be sitting in FTC together, and I'm just hoping at this point that it's Augusto sitting there with us. P.S. In the event that I make FTC... I really hope I'm not seen as a goat. Like, I don't think I am, but I'm not sure how much respect I'll get for my game. I'm hoping people see how savvy I had to be to continuously work my way back up after a couple blindsides and being pushed to the bottom, but you never know with this jury / cast. P.P.S. Please no pressure cooker next round. I'm not ready to have to beat Amir THAT way.

So I'll count that as half of a success. I was at least able to help convince Amir to play the idol he told me about to flush that, and with Autumn safe, the next option was to do Adam. Knowing that if Autumn did have the merge idol, she probably wasn't playing it on Adam, this was the next best option. I need Kendall and Augusto around because those are the two I'd like to bring to FTC if I can make it there. It makes sense to take them to the end as our games are all very similar, so at least we aren't against a winner at the end. Part of me thinks that bringing Amir may not be the worst thing in the world given he has screwed over a decent bit of that jury, but also, I'd rather not take that risk.

So now that that's done and I'm cute and immune, I can confirm it all. Yes I do have the merge idol, yes I've had it since Final 7 but planned not to play it until Final 5, and yes that makes me the most powerful person here. Deadass everyone wants my head on a stick and I don't give a single fuck. I'm chilling all weekend, letting them think they're doing something if/when I lose win immunity, and then I'm sending a man out on one vote Monday night. You think they hate me now? Wait til they find out they can't take a shot at me until Final 4 lmaaaaoo. Be blessed! 

So Amir blames me for playing his idol... I think that's a win for me then, right?

I'm so glad I was able to take this challenge win! I needed to win this to guarantee I wasn't some kind of contingency plan. But now, it's about how can I guarantee a winner goes home. I've already kind of told Autumn she was in trouble (literally 0 point in lying to her about it) and have explained to both Kendall and Augusto that we should find a way to split the votes / guarantee that Autumn and Amir have no shot of working with one another and sending home one of the two people I want with me at FTC. I feel so close, yet so far away from the title of Sole Tumblr Survivor. I want this win so badly. I can't describe how much I want this win. I didn't come back just to have fun; I didn't come back just for maybe an ounce of redemption from Guyana, I came to win this mother-effer. I have at least a 25% shot at the moment, but I want to increase that number. 

Final 5... it's so insane honestly because I never expected this of myself but I've played my ASS off (literally, that's why I'm flatter than a table top) especially these past few rounds. I'm kinda shocked that the clear targets are Autumn/Amir/TJ just given I have been a force in the game (subtly ofc) so its def a gag... but yeah. TJ winning the immunity was WORST case scenario because I wanted to come for that man's neck SO bad but we'll just have to get him next time. Amir having the merge idol isn't a SHOCK but it was interesting to say the least like rip telling me that but both his idol plays are gonna be kinda useless which helps my case! I know that Autumn said me and Kendall have been up Amir's ass but first of all... i'm a bottom so I would never BUT also I feel I've held my own this entire game so it isn't my truth in the slightest but I'll just have to prove her, TJ, and the jurors wrong if I got to. I've gone from flop (16th in Bhutan, 17th in Great Lakes, 12th in Socotra) to the top (6th in Flops, 2nd in Seychelles) but I am trying to WIN and wear my deserved crown, it's time I won something yknow. 

Amir and I when my plan worked and NEITHER of us walked into jury yet again https://twitter.com/abridrakegraham/status/1222552252357005313 The kids HURTIN yall and I will 100% respect their privacy at this time. Like they really thought!!! They really thought they finally killed me and were probably singing ding dong the witch is dead all day and now look at em. They done lost the boy they all wanted to go to the end with, got severely played by me, AND still gotta see my face everyday. Someone check on Jordan Pines I wanna make sure he's not still holding his breath waiting for my demise. And I've teamed up with his other least favorite person? HOES MAD. But it's not just him- Kendall ready to fight Amir in PM's, TJ in his feelings on call during tribal, Augusto couldn't even find the words he was that shocked. It's all so glorious and I truly fucking love wrecking everyone's games. Amir was like I've never felt these emotions before/ this is one of the wildest moves I've ever been apart of and tbh I agree with Amir. This was batshit crazy but you know what the gag is? This is literally just another day in the mind of Autumn Hill Jury mad, the mayos mad, Augusto mad, and I'm literally on top on the world right now. Like I love Augusto yes but that move was the definition of powerful. Like it's not just playing an idol correctly. It's the fact that Amir came to me begging that I forgive him and that we work together again, I then agreed and admitted to having the idol to A WHOLE ASS WINNER, convinced Amir to tell the kids he had the idol, got everyone to feel super comfortable around me all night and day cause I knew "I was going," snapped in the tribe chat at 2:00 because I "just wanted people to be honest about voting me," got the kids to essentially then tell on themselves since they listed all the reasons why they were voting me, and then idoled out their king using his once closest ally. Liiiikkkee?? STIFF WHERE?? DEAD WHERE??? Bitch I'm playing to win ok I hope yall enjoying this master class I've put on cause I'm hanging it up after this. Unless yall get serious about having a TS version of Winners at War, then call me. But otherwise, yes I'm going ham because I have every intention of walking into the 2 time winners chat. I WANT TO ASCEND!!! So PSA: if my funeral is public knowledge, that means I ain't dying hahaha. Apparently everyone has nicknames for me and that might actually be my favorite part. Jakey calling the game Autumn's World all merge to the boys and TJ only referring to me as the Godmother?? iconic! You know I'd hate me too if I wasn't me, which is why I'm flattered by it all. They know damn well they're almost out of time to get rid of me and they've spent the entire fucking game hoping and wishing and praying and still can't pull it off. And them not targeting me out the gate like Jordan wanted has gotten soooo many people killed. But most importantly I have successfully played an idol now TWICE at Final 5.. And I sure did win back to back immunities at Final 4 and Final 3 in Crossroads so finding out this season has a final 2? Perfect let me dust off the blueprint real quick

 https://twitter.com/rcgersnatalia/status/1168071613763342336

okay im going to work my ass of to win this but autumn and tj have both claimed they can do this really well, so like basically, tj cannot win immunity, i need to win or i may be absolutely screwed https://66.media.tumblr.com/583667e85060a36a2cccb8551baa27d5/tumblr_inline_oh5slaYgdO1tr4u58_500.jpg but as of rn, i was going no matter what if i didnt win immunity, i tried to make a story to autumn and we called for like 3 hours and i did my damnest to sell that tj is the problem with everything that happened last round and that i was down to vote augusto for real until tj really sold the plan out to augusto and i didnt want to go to rocks, but i played the idol out of fear that augusto-kendall-tj would 3-2-1 me so she believed there is a true rift in the beauties right now and has more of a reason to hate tj she is so fucking smart so she may have sussed it out and went along with it, but im hoping it worked??? idek but she said if she wins immunity she'll idol me she did admit she has the idol to me but maybe because she knew i already knew

I just... do I even have words anymore? Like, time and time again, I'm getting screwed over and I just... it's a good underdog story now. I just have to win this next challenge. I guess regardless I had to win this next challenge, but also, I was really hoping to not have to have as much concern as I do right now.

What was that?? oh cause I thought the yts who can't successfully kill me had said something https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Wux4HnZRY0 Another day, another body bag. THEY WERE SO SURE THEY HAD ME AHHHH I really have to laugh. Kendall was certain this was my funeral and I'm like nah baby it's yours. I'm still screaming that TJ would keep immunity for himself and let Kendall go to firemaking where she would 100% lose that's wild. Only for me to find out after that sis really was THE RAT??? Y'all set her up lmaaaooo. Now I really don't feel bad cause she ran from her karma long enough and if Amir had told me that shit before firemaking I really would've smoked her in the comp. Kendall had no business snitching to Jordan about an airtight unanimous vote and blowing up all her allies' games just to do right by an egom aniac. Then Jordan still died and she falls in love with his bestie boo TJ (he's playing you sis!!) who sensed she could die this round but didn't give a single fuck?? Absolute mess. She really got Devon, TJ, Amir, and Augusto to lie about it the whole game and they agreed because they knew if I ever find out the truth, I'd kill her on sight. Bitch I killed her anyway!!! So was it even worth it? Cause she still walked into jury but she got a better placement and a noble death, which miss Devon and Augusto cannot say. Too busy being lying https://media3.giphy.com/media/6DMfLQEhixGdW/source.gif I feel so affirmed though- every person who has come for me is either sitting in jury or is about to walk in. That's power- that's RANGE! Also I just wanna say to Devon while I'm here:  you really gave me all that grief for considering you could be the rat when you, Amir, and Augusto were in on it and protecting Kendall the whole time??? Fuck outta here. Like whose fault is it really that you died Devon? I wanna know. You mad at me and Amir when you need to be mad at yourself for picking the wrong girl, which is on brand for straight white men but y'all not ready to have that conversation. Anyway! Kendall trying to undermine me the ENTIRE merge and using all these men to do it only to still get killed by me in the end?? Fucking love that shit. All of this and more, but only in Autumn's World

https://66.media.tumblr.com/143402720bb2766ebe14eb1d657e2ca6/tumblr_inline_o8662rxDt11tr4u58_250.gifv

Me before the challenge https://peopletalk.ru/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/tumblr_n49eidw5Zk1rsrbdko1_500.gif 

Me after I went beast mode and embarrassed the men https://twitter.com/intoragnarok/status/1233477557565173762

I'm screaming at Amir asking me after if kept him strategically or out of loyalty and I'm like sis what do you think. I was not about to let the white knights get their way and give TJ the win all because he's a good car salesman. Like y'all should've seen that 1 hr plus discussion of TJ and Amir going back and forth on camera about who I have a better chance of beating and I'm just sitting there IMMUNE taking notes, knowing neither of them wanted this. The power that that has, the intelligence that that has, the clearance that that has, the access that that has. Amir and TJ planning to kill me and then being thwarted once again is arguably my two favorite storylines. TJ wanted to do this the ENTIRE MERGE and I never let him succeed. And Amir wanted to be the one to say he killed me cause he's Mr. Smith when I'm Mrs. Smith and my ass spared him and helped him several times. Now look at em, getting third and second. I made a joke at Final 5 that Amir and I are the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith and it's so true. I adore him as a person and I know he loves me too but we're not above killing each other. Hell we genuinely want to kill each other but time and time again we chose to kill everyone else instead lmao. 

So please enjoy this visual walkthrough of our wild ass partnership

(when we met at merge) https://i.pinimg.com/originals/3f/48/5e/3f485e53a56fb43c62c22c0790e8afd7.gif 

 (when we voted together at Final 11 and Final 10) https://media1.giphy.com/media/l3Ucho9gtq4b7SLok/source.gif 

 (when I caught Amir in a lie and killed Devon as retaliation but still wanted to work with Amir) https://media0.giphy.com/media/l3UcotueAJQAW0zjW/source.gif 

(when Amir killed Ali and Adam to piss me off) https://66.media.tumblr.com/eebc1dc0a509a652ea543aba82bcb1c5/tumblr_ojjk22iVXM1uhcmrao1_250.gifv 

(when Amir tried to get back in my good graces at Final 5) https://66.media.tumblr.com/3b157a36601820370897ace6673af493/tumblr_n17egq7Hdq1r7fawxo4_r3_250.gifv 

(when I agreed to the winners pact and got him to kill Augusto and Kendall with me) https://thumbs.gfycat.com/DefiniteVapidDogwoodtwigborer-size_restricted.gif 

 (when he kept trying me at Final 4 and Final 3/ saying he'd kill me) https://i.gifer.com/3lie.gif 

(when I snapped and took Amir to Final 2, like I said I would, and we both knew he'd lose beside me) https://66.media.tumblr.com/d1f3506fc873a7d2393d705a7f58065d/tumblr_mgooqovRHw1qkdoj2o1_500.gif

mood after everything that's happened and me making FTC again- we out here. Coming out of retirement has been good to me https://twitter.com/emrific/status/1235072497055227907

(final 4) oh dear me this one is a tuffyyyy wuffyyy.... okay okay. so its f4, tj thinks im voting with him and kendall to vote autumn. Autumn thinks im voting with her against kendall to make it firemaking. basically, i was originally gonna vote autumn, and i told autumn and she was like fk no so i told her im convinced but i am STILL UNSURE So if I vote kendall: autumn has to win fire making which like statistically i do not see kendall beating autumn, but then tj takes me to final 2 over autumn, and autumn will take me to final 2 over tj, she also threatened to make jury hate me if I cut her now which doesn’t really scare me tbh if I’m next to kendall anyway, but regardless of that threat, me going with tj and autumn gives me a 66% chance of winning this game. If me or Tj win final immunity, I think I win this game. If Autumn wins, then uhhhhggg she will probs take me but like we will thee i just hope she doesnt win final immunity If I vote autumn: me or kendall have to win final immunity, because if tj wins, then I’m getting third place, and kendall would probably take tj as well, so like, yeah i would beat them both at the end but i would be putting myself in a position where i have to win immunity but idk . i think voting kendall is better as i type dis

final 3 oh my gooooodddd, the fact that i am here is so surreal 2 me, and idk idk this immunity is gonna be the deciding factor of my game and im so nervous but also happy and proud of myself however this game turns out. hoyoyoyooyoy

SO MISSS AUTUMN JUST UHHHHHHHH wooped me arse in immunity and me and Tj had to PLEAD for ourlives but she ended up TAKING MEEEEEEEEE so partyyy Honslee tho, while this is gonna make winning 90x times harder, I am pretty happy to be sitting next to Autumn cuz our end game mr. and mrs. smith alliance is highkey iconic af ewnfewkjfnewkjnf like we killed each others allies and somehow have been aligned since early merge and I lied to her and somehow we always came back and protected each other and if i don't win im happy she will <3 but with that said, i gotta take her DOOOWNNN

AUTUMN WINS 8-1

[rosewangg-blog]

Reader x Jaebum

Type:smut,fluff???idek im new

warnings: None really unless smut is a warning????;-;

side note:okay hi yes hello um im new to this whole thing so I wrote this a while ago…..oh lord oh lorddddddd it sucks but I just kinda wanted to post it somewhere please dont roast me): also I have no clue what to name it…hahahahahaha Also I don’t know how to end a story omg im sorry I suck at this

You live at the Got7 dorm it wasn't exactly your idea but you had been struggling to live on you own lately and Youngjae decided to go live with his brother for a little bit but he stay over at the dorm alot and you guys share a room but today he was gone and he was gonna be gone for a few weeks since the boys had a break you were really close with all the boys they all treated you really well and promised to take care of you "y/n" you hear someone scream it was Jackson "IM PLAYING OVERWATCH WHAT DO YOU WANT?" you scream back "dinner" Jinyoung yells you sign "kaaay but right there" you peep your head out of your room and say you decide to put on some pants since you were just chilling in a shirt you walk down to the dinner table "Hey nonna" Bam say and smiles they all say his to you you smile Jaebum comes to sit down "hey y/n" he smiles you look down and blush "hi Jaebum" you always had a crush on Jaebum but you're sure he didn't like you that way all the boys sit down "y/n can you hand me the water" Mark says you hand him the pitcher of water "thanks" he smiles "nonna you look nice today" Yugyeom says you smile "thanks Yug's" you guys sit there and eat the meat,rice,rice cakes,japchae and all other korean food "this is so good" you say "Jabeum made it" Jackson says "thanks Jaebum" you smile at him and he blushes and rubs his neck "thanks glad you like it" he smiles with his cute little eye smile you're dying on the inside cause he's so cute you finish "thanks guys" you smile at them "I'll do the dishes" you say "no way y/n" Jinyoung says "but-" "but nothing you don't have to we can handle it" Mark says "okay....fine" you skip to your room "she's so cute" Jaebum puts his face in his hands "hyung when are you gonna tell her you have a thing for her?" Bam says "ah I don't know" he says "you should tell her soon I heard one of her friends like her" Jackson says Jaebum laughs "well maybe she likes them" "nah I don't think so" Jackson says "well im gonna go shower" Jaebum stretches and walks to his room to get some clothes and walks to the bathroom "y/n" Bam knocks on your door "yes Bam?" "can I come in" "sure" he opens the door "what you doing" "playing over watch" "ah I swear you're just like Youngjae" he laughs "you aren't wrong" "so nonna" "yeah?" "this is really random...but do you like anyone" you start choking on your drink "you okay?" he asks "im fine why the sudden question" "I know someone who likes you" you laugh "yeah sureeeeeeeeee" "no really" "okay Bam but yeah I like someone" you blush "ooooo nonna" he laughs "shut up Bam" you hit him "feisty" he laughs "you know it" he stays in your room for like 10 minutes then Jackson is calling him "see ya later" he says "bye" you put the controller down and turn off the game you look over to the clock "10pm" you sigh "I wonder what Jaebum is doing" you decide to go get a snack you see a bag of chips "jackpot" you dance to yourself suddenly you hear a door open and look over and see Jaebum walk out of the shower with no shirt on and water dripping down his stomach where the towel stops and gulp and bite your lip he pushes his wet hair back and then dries it with another towel he looks over to see you staring at him you blush and go into the fridge acting like nothing happened he laughs and walks over to you you feel yourself getting turned on you rub your legs together "hey y/n" he closes the fridge door and pushes you against it "he-hey Jaebum" you blush and try not to look at his stomach he puts his arm next to you so you cant move he looks you up and down and bites his lip when he sees your legs you were just wearing a over sized shirt since you've been in your room all night you had messy hair but he thought you were adorable "um" you stutter "can...can I go to my room now" you look up at him he smirks "what's got you so flustered?" you blush "nothing it's just really hot is my room" he smirks and leans into your ear and whispers "you're cute...when you're flustered" he bites your ear a little you let out a little yelp he backs away and smirks you blush and you literally wanna jump on him right there and wrap your legs around his waist and kiss him and have him take you right here in the kitchen on the counter or the table or where ever you blush again and you walk to your room more like run and he laughs you shut the door you feel so turned on you lay down on your bed "oh my god he's so hot" you know you're wet you try to fight the feeling but its not helping when you can't stop thinking of Jaebum in that towel around his waist and the water dripping down on his body "oh my god" you feel like you're gonna rip your hair out you take off your underwear and glide your finger over your clit you moan softly you start off with one finger you let out soft moans "fuck" you whisper "I gotta be quiet so the boys don't hear me" you move your finger faster you moan louder you add another finger and spread your legs you put your hand over your mouth to keep from moaning -Jaebum pov- you walk to your room after y/n ran to her room you put some sweat pants on you think of y/n "she's so cute" you run your fingers through your hair you lay on the bed you text y/n "I need to talk to you" you wait she doesn't respond "she's probably playing her game" you wait a little longer "hmm" you get up "I have to tell her tonight" you go out and walk to her room you knock on the door "y/n I need to talk to you" no response you hear something "she's probably talking to someone" you knock again "y/n" no response again you open the door quietly you look and she's on the bed you look at her with wide eyes she has her eyes closed and is masturbating "fuck" you whisper you feel yourself getting hard but you can't look away she's moaning suddenly she moans "Jaebum" she says I look around and make sure no members are around you keep watching her thinking if you should go in or not "Jaebum" she moans again this time louder you put your hands down your pants and stroke your dick hearing her moan drives you crazy you bite your lip so she doesn't hear you moan but you let a moan slip and you both look at each other you open the door all the way "y/n" she looks at you and grabs her blanket and covers herself -y/n pov- you were moaning and were thinking of Jaebum so you just moaned his name out you feel yourself getting close so you move your fingers faster and moan Jaebum's name again suddenly you hear someone say your name you stop and look over to your door and see Jaebum standing there with his hands down his pants and him biting his lip you grab your blanket and cover yourself up you look him up and down you can he's hard "oh my god" you think to yourself you hide yourself "y/n" he comes in and shuts the door "go away" you say he comes over and pulls the blanket off of you "JAEBUM" he smirks he comes gets on top of you and looks at you you look down "having fun?" he smirks you whine "stop" "y/n why are you masturbating while moaning my name?" "uh...I-I.." "you what baby?" "why..why were you watching me and doing it too" you bite your lip he starts kissing your neck you moan "Jaebum" you put your hands down his pants and play with his tip he moans and stops "Lets go to my room" he says you guys get up and he looks around to make sure no ones there you guys run to his room he shuts the door and you both sit on his bed "y/n we need to talk before this goes any further" you look at him "listen I know what you're gonna say it's fine I understand" you say "what do you mean?" "I don't wanna say it" you feel tears forming in your eyes Jaebum looks at you and grabs your chin to make you look at him "then I'll say what I need to" "okay" you whisper he wipes your tears with his thumb "y/n...I..I love you a lot ever since you moved in...no before that I've loved you since I met you when we hung out for the first time alone when you came here to wait for Youngjae so you guys could play overwatch that night I realized I loved you I realized I needed you and that you were the most perfect girl in the world" he smiles "what?" you say "I understand if you don't feel the same" he says grabbing your hand and intertwining in fingers with yours "but I needed you to know" "I..I thought you didn't feel that way" you whisper he looks at you "Jaebum I love you...so much" you whisper he hugs you tight "im so glad you said that" "I thought you were gonna tell me you didn't like me" you say and he looks at you "are you crazy?" he sees you're still crying "stop crying babygirl" he wipes your tears away "im sorry I couldn't help it" you put your head in his chest he kisses the top of your head "so this means you're mine now right?" he asks "of course" he kisses you the kiss gets headed he pushes you down "do you wan't me to finish what you started?" he glides his finger over your clit you moan "words babygirl" "yes" "you're so wet y/n" he puts 2 fingers in without warning you moan "Jaebum" "shh kitten" he moves his fingers faster "oh my god" you whisper "cum for me baby" you moan while he moves his fingers faster you cum he pulls his fingers out and licks them "tasty" you blush he removed his pants you see how hard he is you gulp "y/n do you want this?" you grabs his dick and stroke it he moans and he dips his head back "y/n" you move your hand faster "fuck" he bites his lip he stops you "I can't wait anymore I need you I need to feel you" "I need to feel you too" you say he gets on top of you "you ready babygirl?" he waits "yes" he pushes himself in you both moan "you okay?" he asks "yes" he keep sliding in so he can fill you up he waits to start moving so you can get used to his size you feel tears in your eyes "y/n we can stop if you need to I don't mind" "no no im fine it's just been a while" he grabs your hand "move" you say "you sure?" "please Jaebum" he starts off slow you moan "you're so tight" he grunts "faster" you say he moves faster he kisses you you run your fingers in his hair "Jaebum" you moan out "fuck y/n you're so beautiful" "faster" you moan louder he moves faster "Jae-Jaebum" you wrap your legs around his waist "harder" you moan he pulls out and slams back into you you both moan "oh my god" you can feel yourself shaking "fuck kitten you look so good like this" he sticks a finger in your mouth you suck "Jaebum right there" he removes his finger from your mouth he hits the spot "you like that kitten?" you moan he goes faster "answer baby" "yes" you scream "fuck" he says "im close" you say "same kitten" you grip on to his back and scratch him "Jaebum" you moan "beg for more baby I love it I love seeing you like this you feel so good around my dick" you moan you love his dirty talk it turns you on even more if that's even possible hes thrusting into you hard you're both moaning you cum he clench around his length "fuck y/n that was so hot" he moves your hair out of your face "baby im gonna cum" he says "go ahead" you say he goes harder and deeper he cums "fuck" you both moan he pulls out you're both panting he gets off you and goes to the bathroom to get wipes to help clean you and himself up you try to sit up but you feel a sharp pain you let out a yelp "did I go to hard?" he smirks you blush "im fine I liked it" he comes over to kiss you "I love you babygirl" "I love you too baby" you kiss him and smile into the kiss he lays down and pulls you close you rest your head on his chest you guys order food and stay in bed for the rest of the night and watch movies and play games together

[teenwolve]

I´d like to ask questions from 1 to 44 thank u

damn alright sis lmao get comfy -- also i answered these quick and all over the place so its messy

1: Age

Eighteen!2: Shoe size

I didn’t wanna do this but ya girl’s an elephant AND so size 10 (women, au)   ):3, 4, 5: Do you smoke/drink/drugs?

Nope! Nope! Nope!

6: Age you get mistaken for

idk but it’s always older,, i gOT TOLD SOMEONE THOUGHT I WAS 25 WTF7: Have tattoos?

Yah,, just one atm. The one on my wrist saying ‘love dad xo’ in his handwriting8: Want any tattoos?

YES SO MANY9: Got any piercings?

Yeah boiii, just two in each ear right now.10: Want any piercings?

Yeah, I want more in my ears and i kinda dig nose piercings but idk if on me11: Best friend?

That’s motherfuckin complicated atm because i don’t talk to irl people and like we’re still friends but we havent talked which is normal for us but yeah idk where i stand bc we dont talk about mushy things like that anymore ya know. i still love her as a sister and think of her as my best friend, but idk what she thinks of me12: Relationship status

Single af man13: Biggest turn ons

DACRE MONTGOMERY14: Biggest turn offs

RUDE, BOSSY (24/7)15: Favorite movie

DUDE WHERE’S MY CAR AND/OR STEP BROTHERS16: I’ll love you if...

YOU LOVE ME AND ARE HONEST17: Someone you miss

My dad18: Most traumatic experience

My dads death19: A fact about your personality

I’M VVV SELFLESS20: What I hate most about myself

BODY21: What I love most about myself

MY EYES22: What I want to be when I get older

I JUST WANT TO PAY MY BILLS MAN23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

MY YOUNGER BROTHER AND I ARE BASICALLY TWINS BUT MY OLDER BROTHER HATES THE WORLD BUT WE’RE GETTING BETTER24: My relationship with my parent(s)

MY MUM IS CHILL AND MY STEP DAD IS OKAY ON CERTAIN DAYS. I STRONGLY BELIEVE I’D BE BESTIES WITH MY DAD25: My idea of a perfect date

tbh just dinner and a movie or like maccas or just at home with movies and pizza26: My biggest pet peeves

loud breathing, loud anything, screaming/crying children, and 100 more i can’t remember right now

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

DACRE MONTGOMERY28: A description of the person I dislike the most

IDEK MAN I LOVE EVERYONE EVEN IF I HATE THEM and yes that made no sense29: A reason I’ve lied to a friendTO GIVE THEM A BIRTHDAY PRESENT 30: What I hate the most about work/school

PEOPLE WHO DONT DO WHAT THEYRE TOLD31: What my last text message says

’OK thanks lovey xoxo’ LMAO MY STEP DAD32: What words upset me the most

‘dacre doesn’t know you exist’ lmAo idk a lot of words yikes im triggered at anything

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

anything to do with my hair, eyes, skin, and body i guess. idk exact words but34: What I find attractive in womenhair tbh like why are we all so pretty35: What I find attractive in men

hair, cheekbones, JAW LINE, back muscles, haNDS, etc and good manners, humour36: Where I would like to live

NEW YORK37: One of my insecurities

MY SIDE PROFILE

38: My childhood career choice

VET39: My favorite ice cream flavor

CHOCOLATE40: Who I wish I could be

ME BUT WITH A BETTER BODY41: Where I want to be right nowSOMEWHERE COLD AND/OR NEW YORK42: The last thing I ateliquorice bullets yUm

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

DACRE MONTGOMERY 44: A random fact about anything

Unicorns aren’t real ;)

[bearhyog-blog]

{ OOC }

So... I’ve been missing. I needed some time for myself, I was really down and I just wanted to take a break from existing basically. I haven’t kept in touch with anyone, not even picking up the phone from grandma. I don’t know why specifically but I can tell you what has been happening in my life lately.

But before all that, I just want to take the time to thank you for keeping me up to date with your life and for always remembering me. I received your present last Friday and that made me sooooooooooooooooooooo happy. You have no idea, my favourite thing to colour is animals ^^ also, mom LOVED her calender, she hung it up on our living room and told me to thank you while complimenting your kindness and “foolishness” from wasting money on her. So thank you, thank you very much for your words, your actions and the postcards! They’re really well thought out and it makes my heart warm to know that I have someone who loves me, even if we’re far apart.

Where do I begin though.

As you know, I’ve been promised a job. I’m still waiting for it because the guy is so utterly busy he just can’t find the time to make videos with me. I don’t know, I’m disappointed I guess. Again. Mom also talked to the lady who was going to give me a ton of work and she also said she’s too busy. I might have a shot at teaching english 101 but the burocracy is crazy and idek how to handle situations like that, its all so complicated, my god. So I’ve been a little sad regarding that. But hey! I finished my portfolio if you wanna check it out. I’ll be adding stuff to it as I make more stuff. Here’s the link:  https://marquesara.wixsite.com/portfolio

What else is new? Ah! Since I’ve been feeling so lost and just down, I took on a little project. At first, it was going to be a turtle but the money to keep one is sooooooo much that I decided on dwarf hamsters. They’re very cute. They’re also kinda boring because they don’t interact with us but eh they’re nice to look at and feed and stuff. At first I got two: Francis and Sebastian. I read online that males are usually more calm than females so I decided on two males. AND I build their cage out of a plastic storage box, that wood flooring they have, cardbox as bed and stairs a wheel, a bird nest and feeding / drinking objects. It gave me a purpose, you know? And I was a little happier for a little while. They now live in my closet because my cats are crazy killers and they don’t leave the poor things alone. So during the day I leave the door open from the closet so they can see sunlight while I keep the door to my room closed so they can’t get in. At night I close the closet and leave the door open for the cats if they want to sleep on my bed. Oh! But that’s not all. I went back for a third mouse because the box was just so big for 2 little creatures. When I got to the store I said I wanted to take one more and the lady went. “We have two here but one is not for sale because he doesn’t have a leg so we can’t sell that one.” but I had noticed that one of the hamsters I had home had a limp so I told her that and she apologized and said I could take it back and they’d give me the money back for it. I said no way! The creature is no less of a creature because it has a limp! So the lady said she would offer me one hamster instead. I agreed to that (duh) but I saw that there was only one left in the cage so I told her I’d take that one too so he wouldn’t be alone. So now I have four hamsters living in my room. Oh! The others’ names are Aiden and Josh. They’re all named after characters from shows I love hahaha

Still on the animal train, we have Lolita! Lolita is a very pretty, young cat who gave birth to three kittens last month. She belongs to a friend of grandma’s and the poor cat got pregnant basically because the woman won’t sterilize her and she didn’t want to hear the cat whine so she let her free. Someone found her on the street, shaking, quivering in fear under a car and with major weight loss. Instantly, I wanted to take Lolita from that woman. And I might. I’m going to propose to her that I take her to the vet and do an aids test on her. I can’t add an aids cat in my family but I can help with the kittens. Mom wants to adopt one so we might just do that. Or take them all to the vet for responsible adoptions, because wtf... People are so selfish. I spent a whole hour in her house with Lolita and her kittens. Lolita is so gentle and thin and her cubs are still so small they can’t even meow sometimes. One is black and white, the other is white with brown spots and the other one is white and bege. They’re ALL adorable. But this kind of thing triggers me. I know I can’t be the super hero, saving all the animals but that makes me sad and just bleh.

Moving onward, in a talk with mom she said I had my savings from my childhood in the house and not in the bank anymore and it was a decent amount so instead of just worrying about the future all the time and seeing mom getting so stressed about money, I took her with me to the mall nearest, to Primark so we could both get some new clothes. She was really happy so we went once again days later. I paid for all of it. It wasn’t much but it was something we could never afford if it wasn’t for the savings since mom isn’t doing so well in her job. Anyway, I got sunglasses from dad that cost 25 CENTS!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, that’s how cheap that store is. You can get amazing deals. He was so happy for the random present hahahaha. I also then took a little more cash out of the envelope and told mom to come with me to a store nearby where the supermarket is, she was confused and asked why so I asked her “black, white or gold”? She was even more confused but on our way there she yells “YOU’RE NOT BUYING ME A PHONE ARE YOU?”. Let’s just say mom’s phone belongs in the 1700s and it has a lot of issues. So I searched online and I got a great deal from that store. Mom was FLOORED. It was nice to see. She’s been so down too so I wanted to cheer her up a bit! And it worked, she loved the phone. It’s no Terminator but it works fine, so ^^

I also got you a couple cute things but idk when I’ll be sending them because our post office is working like SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! I’m super mad at them. Remember when I told you I had some stuff from ebay coming? ONE IS STILL NOT HERE DUE TO A TECHNICAL DIFFICULTY. I was so pissed at them I emailed them to insult the crap out of them. Sigh. I hope it comes back soon or I’ll destroy the company with my screams.

Mom bought me an aloe vera plant.

I started washing my hair with shampoo after 1 year of flour. It’s organic, biologic and plant-based blah blah so that I can finally not have flour in my hair all the time but still don’t damage it with chemicals. I didn’t even know such things existed LOL but at the mall I saw this store glowing green and checked it out and NOW I AM FREE OF FLOUR HAHAHAHAHAH

In the meantime, I went to two funerals. No one I knew personally but they were family of family, you know? It made me remember to pray, I had forgotten the words hahahaha. And I like churches, they look old and historical and smell wooden-y hahahaahah I’m an idiot.

Anyway, basically I just dug myself a hole and covered it. I’m ready to resurface now, bit by bit. Thank the lord for TV series. Spoiler alert, Jon Snow sleeps with a very hot woman. LOL But what’s really got me going is this series called Being Human and it’s SOOOOOOOOOOO good. It’s about a vampire, a werewolf and a ghost who live together. They’re all friends against their species “rules”. It’s so dramatic and violent and romantic and emotional and omg I just want to marry Josh, he’s my little Teddy Bear. You should check it out! I think you’d like it. Don’t watch the UK version, that SUCKS. Watch the US remake. Ughhhhhhhh. I even wrote fanfiction about me and Josh HAHHHAHAHAHAHAHA It’s silly but when you’re by yourself that’s what you do.

I just... I really can’t explain it. I fell like Alice in Wonderland (idk if you’ll get the reference or if you saw the movie) but she falls down this hole in the ground and there’s all sorts of things she sees around her like tea pots and chess tables and singing butterflies AS SHE FALLS (more like floats down). And then I felt trapped, I didn’t know which way to go. Should I wait for work here, should I just pack my things and go to Ireland? It’s all so blurry and I think the anxiety of it all caught up to me.

Which reminds me! I upped my meds and they’re working well :)

What else...

Hmmm, oh I have the flu -_- I think I caught it from a kid at dad’s house the other day I went there to have dinner with them. I feel like I weigh 1000000000000kg but it’s all physical, you know? Clogged nose, horrible dry cough, bit of a fever. Nothing that won’t cure itself. 

I think that’s all there is to tell, actually. The rest of my days I just spend watching shows with mom, sleeping the day away because the meds make me sleepy, walking Mel, taking naps, and more naps. Oh right! And I’m doing therapy too. They stopped the OCD therapy for now because I believe I’m in a good place right now, controllable state that I don’t need a doctor to continue with my treatment for that. But now we’re going all the way back to my childhood and why I only have nightmares and why do I dream of the same guy over and over who I didn’t even date but like... it was a crush in MIDDLE SCHOOL. She basically said I’m emotionally damaged (what a surprise) and that led to consequences such as not liking men unless they’re fictional. But we just started on that so we’ll see where this goes. I think that put me down too, I had to write about every guy I had been involved even at 12 years old and I hated remembering all those times and people and that ALSO contributed to me not being in the brightest of mood.

Then I tried joining a RP as JB from GOT7 because he’s a hot piece of ass. I was on like 7 different dates, not even kidding but I lost interest because they were too easy. I left and joined as Yeeun. No one talked to me so I left again and came back as Ken and his ex from a rp like... two years ago is there and it’s so awkward I just stopped showing. 

And that has been my life!

You have no idea how much I’ve missed you and I wanted to talk to you but I just didn’t have the strength... I’m sorry about that and for not being there when you needed me, I truly feel so bad. But I’m here now okay? And I’ll even rewind here so that we don’t clog the messenger feed (which we tend to do a lot)