#i want it done so bad that i can myself starting to settle but !! alas no !!!!

[seiwas]

i write for myself most of the time but even then, there’s rlly just smth abt receiving detailed comments and tags that is so lovely 🥺 and heartwarming 🥺 it really inspires me sometimes to write more descriptively!! + it reminds me to treat my writing with care 🥺 sometimes i want something done so much that i kinda settle? and yeah 🥺 the reminder is nice 🥺

thank you to everyone’s who’s read my stuff!! and left lovely comments/tags too 🥺 i usually do the rounds of thanking everyone individually, but haven’t had time lately (i will tho soon!) 🥹

[cherokeescribe]

Fall Contest Announcement!

The winner of the poetry division of Scribe’s winter contest is Virginia Wellborn. For this contest, students were invited to share their creative work on the season of fall. Below is the poem, followed by a brief interview with the poet. A special thank you to all who submitted -- we can’t wait to see what you come up with next year!

A Spooky Tale -- by Virginia Wellborn

Old photographs of me adorn the walls,

Show me in dandy costumes, show me holding sparkly Christmas tree balls.

Let’s take a look at a story for the young and the old,

A spooky tale for all ages, or so I’ve been told.

It’s my first Halloween, what joy this will bring!

Dressed as a pumpkin, in a cute baby sling.

Babbling on about this and about that,

Little me doesn’t know what's going on- but I’m wearing a hat!

Innumerable bonfires with their timeless glow,

Lighting up the spooky streets as I run.

Dresses bouncing, feet pouncing-

Wrappers spilling, winds chilling-

My old pillowcase in tow.

Goofy costumes are out, homemade wonders are in,

No time for pictures, let the fun begin!

Meeting up with wonderful people, sharing candy at dark

What a wonderful time of year, certainly no place for larks!

I can’t imagine ever being too old,

For going candy hunting and finding the gold.

It’s that time of year again, and we’re in the years of four,

Wearing old t-shirts and calling it a score.

House parties with spooky lights,

Certainly no better way to spend the nights!

The best time of our lives is happening now,

It can’t stop, won’t stop-

I won’t even think as to how.

Alas, all good things must come to an end,

I suppose this is no different- saw it coming ‘round the bend.

Pumpkins and leaves and squirrels in the trees

Cheer me on as I cross the line,

Looking back I wonder, did I take advantage of the time?

These costumes that no longer fit adorn the walls,

To society I’ve succumbed,

These years well spent have done me well, but it appears the age has come.

I watch as Mom and Pops are handing out sweets,

Two peas in a coupley pod with their matching sweaters.

They smile and laugh as the kids appear,

Somehow they do this, year after year.

All those years of fun, I wish for them not to be in vain.

Will this be my fate, bounded by the limits of my own domain?

I simply can’t bear it, growing up is no fun,

But alas we cannot stop it,

Time halts for no one.

Wind whisking through the door as I hand out the goods,

Sweater wrapped around me tight-

I wonder if I’ll have the energy in me to make it through the night.

After which we toss out the pumpkins and hold back the tears,

Longing for the days when it wasn’t so drear.

I want to enjoy the roaming of the streets,

But alas that is no more.

Voices saying “you’re too old for this, go home, settle down!”

However I cannot bring myself to be content with this fate,

Staying in is such a bore.

Time has flown and I suppose I will admit, 

Growing up isn‘t so bad.

Yet my thoughts seem to drift- I do miss the joy, that childhood bliss.

So just enjoy what you’ve got, and your mind will persist.

Old photographs of my children now adorn the walls,

Show them in dandy costumes, show them holding sparkly Christmas tree balls.

Soon they will have tales of joy, suitable for the young and the old,

A spooky tale for all ages, or so I’ve been told.

Interview with Virginia:

What grade are you in? I'm in 9th grade.

When did you first start writing poetry? I started writing when I was in the poetry unit in 8th grade.

What is your poem about? My poem's about how Halloween traditions evolve throughout the years as you grow up and show some of the things you might face as you get older. It's meant to show the confusions you go through and the reality you face as you go from being a care-free toddler to an adult with actual responsibilities, and it ends with coming to accept that fate. This concept can scare some people- it definitely scares me- and I found it comforting to write about in a positive light disguised as something more cheerful.

Where is your favorite place to write? My favorite place to write is in my bed wrapped up in a blanket.

Who is your favorite author? Alaska Lane, author of the poem book "the words i'll never say".

[equallyshaw]

The Medicated Series: features OC’s with medical issues such as depression, anxiety, physical disabilities such as MS or Rheumatoid Arthritis as well as any other autoimmune disease such as Crohn’s, endometriosis, infertility, etc. (not an autoimmune but you get it) I feel, as a person with a physical disability, that there is a lack of representation and have always wanted to see myself in y/n stories. Always have and always will.

Links for information regarding rheumatoid arthritis:

https://www.cdc.gov/arthritis/basics/rheumatoid-arthritis.html

triggers/warnings: talks of pregnancy, medications. and angst. also SOFT. SOFT.

Original Character: Eliza Nicole James, 23 years old. Brunette Hair, Blue Eyes, short and curvy.

Word Count: 3.8k (will get longer over time, trying to adjust to this new format from a previous one)

Part Three:

—

Becca's POV:

I settled into the starbucks table, honing in on the atmosphere to pull me through an hour of work that I had to get done. I sipped on my cold brew, skipping songs in my playlist, hoping to find one that would get me moving. It had been a week since Cale and I had last spoken, and quite frankly I was ok with it. Yeah, not amused but alas, it is what it is. It was for the best. Right?

Eric and Becca were hitting up the groupchat and I rolled my eyes over there fullishness. I couldn't help but laugh at them for going after eachother, apparently my job was not needed. I'd go after them any day, though. I turned back to my notes and statuses, of what was still needed to be done and what had been done for the upcoming board meeting for the hospital. Things were going according to Eric's and I's two year plan. I was about to turn 24, and after graduating from University of Denver was I was 22, we set out to expand the program after years of me practically begging the higher up's as a patient and had gotten nowehere until I met Eric one day outside a board meeting, he had been moved by what I had to say and wanted to take the chance to expand the program. Here we are, working with some of the best children in the field. Like Martha who was my little irish dancer who never seazed to make me laugh and reconsider ALL of my decisions. Phillip, who knew how to say the right words when I have a bad day. Piper who constantly pushes forth the idea that being in pain doesn't need to hold you back and as a ten year, she is kicking it in Soccer and Softball. A fucking warrior. They inspire me each and every day, so how could I leave all that behind to go somewhere new that I didn't have any idea about. Who had no idea who I was and probably, would look at me differently because of what I have. I don't have the time or patience or the fucking need to do so. So, maybe my decision was made. Maybe, I do in fact turn down Joe Sakics' offer. But he's, Joe Fucking Sakic. How could I do that? I'd be a fool to do so.

Before I could move onto another topic of thoughts I was taken back, by the movement in front of me from a far. A group of three guys walked in, laughing at something. And you best know- me and the few others gave them the dirtiest glare. You just don't do that a 9 am on a Thursday. Common respect. They followed the train of glares and apologized, and I looked down not really taking in who they were.

I shook my shoulders, typing away at an email that needed to be sent. Coffee orders were said, but I didn't hear the names.

Until you know who, decided to walk up to my table.

I continued to type away, trying to ignore him but he would not move- ever after the two other guys had walked out. I sighed, taking out my airpod and looking up at Cale who had a soft smile on his face, with a eyebrow raised. I sighed, pointing towards the chair in front of me and he gladly took it. "What can I help you with?" I asked getting straight to it. But Cale didn't answer that, "How are you today?" He asked the one question he always started off all our conversations with. I hated how many fucking times a person would ask me that, and even though it was Cale- it got old real quick. Always having to tell people, but at the same time atleast somebody was asking.

"Im doing well actually, this past week has been great." I answered honestly and he nodded, cheeks turning pinker. "What can I help you with?" I asked again and he nodded, "Would you want to hang out again soon?" He asked and I shook my head. "Fat chance, Cale." I said heatedly. He was taken back, he had never been on the recieving end of my snarky tone before. "We need to talk, Eliza. We need to talk about things." He responded and I shook my head again. "I don't want to, it wouldn't be worth my time in the end. Even for you, I don't want to. This is a doomed friendship anyways." I spat trying to ignore those bubbling fillings inside of me. One's about how he actually might like me and one's of wanting to have him hold my hand again. Nervous tears filled me eyes, "Who said it was doomed?" He questioned trying to read my face. I looked away, trying to hide my nervous tears threatning to spill. "Hey.Hey." He said softly, grabbing ahold of my hand and bringing me back to the conversation. "I want to believe you Cale, I really do. I don't know if I am ready to open up to somebody again and be shit on. Hell, I really don't wanna be around a group of people who barely know me and fear that they will judge me. They all do Cale, and I know you will too." I rasped, pulling my hand away. Cale did not like that. "But im not going to. Why do you keep comparing me to somebody else? Why can't you believe me? I want you to believe me, when I say what I say." He said catching me off guard as I began to put my stuff away. I stared at him for a second, before sighing. "Believe me Cale, if I could I would." I responded before getting up from the chair and walking out towards my car. He quickly followed after.

You could if you really wanted to he thought, but brushed the anxiety away.

"Eliza, stop!" he said as I opened my car door. "No Cale, please just leave me alone." I said throwing my bag in but my feet wouldn't move me to actually get in the car. My body wanted something differently than my mind. I shut my door and crossed my arms. Cale stared at me with hopefuly eyes. "You know I can't do that, Eliza." He blurted. I looked down eating my own words, "Fine, we do need to talk but not here." I said and he nodded getting excited. "How about you come back to my place right now if you can and we can chat. If not, I am available this weekend at any time." I said. "Ill follow you right now." He smiled before opening my car door for me and allowing me to get in.

I gave him a weary smile before turning it on as he walked over to his.

"What the fuck am I doing?" I said leaning my head against the steering wheel.

I was meandering in my room when I heard my buzzer go off, signaling that somebody was here for me. I walked back out towards the kitchen and buzzed them in and thanked the front desk attendent Jasmine. I went back to my room and stared at the mess I had made this morning. Groaning I looked at all the medications I needed to get refilled, and one's that were good until the following month. Today I was going to refill my monthly medication container, so I didn't have to worry about it the following day. Yet, I hated doing this. It took too much time up, when I could be using that energy for something else.

I didn't hear the knock on my door, as I buzzed through the first week of pills. My phone started to ring with Cale's contact and I softly smiled, getitng off my bed and walking over to the door.

He was leaning against doorway as I opened the door, a smile appeared on his face as I did so. "Hi." I said sheepishly, opening the door further to let him in. He smiled, "Hi." he responded.

"Give me a few mintutes, I am in the middle of something right now." I apologized making my way back to my room as he took off his shoes and jacket. "What are you doing?" He questioned, debating if he wanted to come over to my room. He had never been in there, because we always spent our time together in the living room or kitchen.

"Just some arthritis things." I said walking towards the door and seeing him eye it. "Come in, I don't bite." I mused opening my door more and he walked in as I walked back to my bed. He took in my room that was covered pretty minimal despite having vintage antiques spread around, making the room feel cozy. This definetly adds up, he thought. She was an old soul, and this room matched her personality perfecetly; he thought. He took a one over before, looking at the bed filled with medication bottles.

"I know it's a lot." I smirked, as he sat down at my desk's chair. "Do you take these every day?" He questioned seeing all the pills in my hand. I nodded, putting them in the Tuesday's container. "Yep, everday for years unfortunetly. All pain or anti inflammatory medications, and then we have the oh so lovely steroid. Which my body loves, but I loathe to take." I said honestly, and he took it in like a sponge. He took my movements and my little comments under my breath in. "How long have you been taking all this?" he said inspecting the medicine bottles.

"This, this and this- 6 years. this for 2 years and this 1, since I was diagnosed." I said showing him each pill. He nodded, thankful that she was opening up. "Oh and cannot forget about this lovely thing." I mused showing him my weekly injection and he visibly cringed. I smiled softly, "It's not the best but it helps me with my energy." I explained.

"It gets boring after while." I confessed closing the last day of the month, smiling. "All done. Finally." I smiled putting it on my night stand next to my phone. I then proceeded to round up all the pills bottles and put it in my storage container that I put under my bed. "Hmm. Seems a tad bit lighter, think it's time to get some more." I mused standing up all the way. Cale smiled at me, and I think I felt a shiver run down my spine. A good shiver. "So, what did you want to say?" I questioned cutting to the chase as I sat on my bed. Butt went down first, then the legs kicked me back into the bed more, my arms doing as much as they could. Cale watched the whole thing and was amused, especially as I made fake grunts. I rolled on my side and put my head and rested it on my hand, facing him. "Comfy?" He questioned and I nodded, "Yes, now please continue." I said.

"First off I just wanna say, you do not need to open up to me right now. I will never force anything out of you. But, I just feel lost honestly. You know, im trying to build a friendship with you -

[there it is: friednship, not relationship]

- and I want to be there for you, if you want me to. I am trying here, that's all I want for you to know. Is that im trying, and I will never intentially try to upset you in anyway." he shared nervously. I nodded, sighing and rubbing my eyes.

"I know. I know im not making this easy on you, Becca told me and I can honestly see it when you speak to me." I paused, "I have not had the best time making friends Cale. People in college did not really talk to me. Only Becca did because we have known eachother since we were 10 years old. She's been through it all. The last time I opened up to anbody was a year ago and well once I opened up to them about the realities of Rheumatoid Arthritis, they dropped me. So quickly." I paused, barely whispering the last part. I knew if I kept talking, i'd start to cry. Cale sensed my hesitation and tried to speak but I stopped him. "You say you won't drop me or leave me, but I can't help but fear you will. And we could go back and fourth all day, but everyday I know and talk to you, that will always be at the back of my mind. That's why I never 'spoke' to anybody or tried to get to know any guy because once they realize that I may never want to have kids when Im older it's a turn off, or that they want to go hiking at Colorado's peak but I can't go because if I do, I may fall off the mountain. Or how I would love to go sky diving, yet once we hit the ground, I would probably break my knees. So yes we could go back and fourth all day, and you might say that none of that matters but to me it does. To me it shows all my faults, fears and turnoffs. I live my life very calculated, always watching where I put my feet so I don't fall or slip. Never run late, always up early so I don't have to rush. So Cale, yes I might be a great friend to talk to I won't be a great friend in doing things. I am so fucking weak, that doing the mundane things for you would be difficult for me." I confessed, tears slowly making there way down my cheeks. I looked down trying to hide them, but all Cale did was move out of the chair and sit down in front of me and pull my chin up. He wiped them softly, staring into my blue eyes.

I tried pulling away from him, but he held my chin in place, and made me look back up at him.He got closer, so close I could feel his breath, "Then show me who you are, I want to know and see it all." He muttered so clearly before doing something I had never had done. He kissed me softly, fearing he'd break me. I pulled back, my eyes continued to be closed and I was internally freaking out. "Hey." He whispered pulling me back in to look at him. I reopened my eyes to his soft and welcoming hazel eyes. He had a soft affectionate smile, which made me melt then and there. I shifted away from him, pulling away from his grasp, pulling my short legs out in front of me and folding them into a pretzel style.

Cale watched me as I scooted around, waiting for me to get comfy again. Once I was comfy, I scooted a bit closer to him and did something that was so not me. I placed my lips on his, and he slowly pulled me in closer so now my waist was paralell to his. The closest I could possibly get to him without straddling, which I knew for sure would be uncomfortable for me. We parted after what felt like a few minutes, resting our foreheads against one another. Catching my breath, because that was something again, I'd never done before. I touched my lips, smiling into them and Cale caught that.

He grabbed my hands and pulled them to his lips, before resting them in his lap. I looked up to meet his gaze and sheepishly smiled, very unsure what to do in this moment. "No one's ever done that to me before." I rasped out while blushing and his grew even redder as he smiled. "That was uh, my first kiss." I confessed. He smiled sweeetly, "I'm glad I was your first, Eliza." He said genuinly. "You know i've never had a boyfriend right?" I said getting anxious. He nodded, "Becca told me last week after you left the car." he said and I nodded and cringed at the outburst I had. "Again, people will look at me like im drunk. I promise you Im never drunk." I joked. He was amused by that.

"Did you like the flowers I got you?" he questioned and I nodded, "Fortuntly I am a sucker for expensive peonies." I gushed. "Well, I am glad you loved them. Now I know what to bring you." He mused and I nodded. "How was the infusion?" He questioned and I shifted in my seating for a second. "It went well, as always. This week has been good I think because of it." I smiled. "Well I am glad." He responded rubbing my hand with his thumb, soothing me. "Did you um, did you want to possibly come with me next time?" I questioned. Cale was taken back at that question, because it was so sudden. He nodded exctitedly, "Ofcourse, just tell me when to pick you up. I'll make sure to have coffee and breakfast waiting for you too." He said supportively and I smiled a wide smile.

My face ligting up like I had just won the jackpot.

"Well, thankyou. That means more than you'll ever know." I said looking down at his lips before flicking back up to his eyes. I couldn't get enough of this feeling, this blissful moment. One that I didn't want to pass or let go of. He looked down at my lips before looking back up at me. I sported a slight nod, letting him know I wanted another kiss.

He moved closer, and painstakingly moved at a snails pace it seemed before placing his lips back on mine. I shifted closer again and rested my hands on his cheeks, trying to be as close as I possibly could without literally being on top of him. He wrapped his hands around my lower back keeping me steady, and holding me close. I pulled away for a brief second, looking into his eyes. That were so welcoming and almsot charming. I unconciously smiled, seeing some small scars around his face from years of hockey. I traced them softly, taking in every inch of his face. I felt his thick eyebrows, which made me jealous. "Wanna donate me some eyebrow hair?" I joked, before rubbing my thumbs on his cheekbones. He blushed and chuckled softly.

"Anything for you." He said honestly, looking up in to my eyes.

geez, I could get used to that.

His eyes twinked as he gazed at me. I smirked, giving him one last kiss. One that left us wanting more, and so unfufilled. We pulled apart, and I shifted over to my right to get off the bed. Cale followed after me, as I made my way to the kitchen. Once I went to look at the time on the stove, Cale softly grabbed the base of my back and pulled me in close. Now it was his turn to stare into my eyes, one's filled with happy tears. One's that were captivating and inviting. The warmth they offered, was enough for Cale to swoon even more. Cale did not want to look away, but he did inspecting the little popped blood vessles in her cheeks. Her pale cheeks that held freckles from her many summers in the sun, the way her dimples appeared as she smiled, or the one scar in her eyebrow from many moons ago hid behind her soft brown eyebrows. He traced her jaw, putting his hands underneath and clasping behind her ears, and drawing her in once again.

"God, you are tiny Ms.James." He joked and I rolled my eyes as he grew more serious.

"I wish you saw you, from my point of view." Cale said vulnerably. I bit my lip nervously, as tears pooled my eyes. Cale could see the sudden change in my face and rubbed my cheeks with his thumbs, trying to comfort me. "Well Mr.Makar, that'll be something you'll have to show and remind me everyday." I softly spoke, fearing that if I spoke anymore I'd cry. He nodded, placing a soft kiss on my lips. I wrapped my arms around his back, holding onto this moment. He parted for a second, "I promise." he exclaimed before reconnecting his lips to mine.

—

I wrapped myself in a knitted blanket, taking in the sudden snow shower that decided to show up the following morning. I took the day off and opted to work from the comfort of my home. Which meant, that I could spend the day with Becca who still worked at home with the hospital system. After seeing everything that I had gone through, after getting her bachelors degree in Human Resources she decided to get a job through another local hospital because she saw how I was treated by doctors throughout the years, nurses, technicians and ER staff. She wanted to help change things or atleast make people better at having better bedside manners.

Becca had the biggest heart for me, and after all these years she has been the most faithful and paitient with me. She was my other sister, being there in the worst of times. Never complaining or geeting angry with me. She'll be an amazing mom, no doubt. Unlike me, who goes through a daily back and fourth with the idea. I just dont know, if I am cut out for it. I know i'll be an amazing mom emotionally, but physically I wouldn't and that makes me incredibly sad. I have always said, that I'd only have kids if the right partner came around. Other than that, no stork would be visiting me in this lifetime.

I sighed, sipping some of my hot coffee and setting it down beside me and pulled my laptop up. Today was Feburary 15th, and I had less than a month- not even to decide if I wanted to work for the Colorado Avalanche. I had been silently debating for the past few days but knew the answer would come mere hours before march 1st. My phone buzzed alerting me that somebody had texted me.

[Cale: Will you be around tomorrow morning?]

[Eliza: Yes! I have no plans tomorrow morning, why?]

[Cale: Would you wanna go get breakfast or brunch?]

[Cale: Or lunch or dinner, or even coffee. whatever you prefer.]

i smiled softly at his generosity.

[Eliza: I'm up for brunch anyday. :)]

[Cale: Awesome! I'll be over to pick you up around 11?]

[Eliza: I'll be waiting!]

[Cale: Can't wait, I hope you have an amazing day today. Hopefully you don't get too many annoying emails from Eric.]

[Eliza: lol, he sure has many already today. I hope you have a good practice. Make sure Nathan doesnt fall too much-- Martha needs updates. ;)]

[Cale: hahah yes! Ill be sure to remind nate about it :)]

I shut my phone off for a second, before opening up instagram to actually post a photo for once. Something I rarely did.

@elizajames: 🤍☕️💐✨

- 96 likes, 5 7omments.

@becca: love these, love you :)

↳@elizajames: love you to the moooooon and back.

@jessicajames: omg i want the flowers !!!!

@jessicajames: also the coffee seems delectable

↳ @elizajames: it is ! as always.

@becca: you should do photography or something

↳ @elizajames: omg omg go away lol

@ ElizaJames has followed. @ calemakar

—

I hope you guys enjoyed!!

Please give this a like, and reblog - and if you want you can follow me for more stories i have up my sleeve.

[quillsandtypos]

Bold Moves

Summary: You unexpectedly make a new friend at a party while Luke does his best to distract you.

Words: 2.8k

Pairings: luke patterson x reader

Warnings: teenage drinking and a few cuss words

...........................................

You should’ve known better. But alas, here you were, at some party where you didn’t know anyone. Minus the band of course, but you hadn’t seen any of them in what felt like at least half an hour. Flynn had left an hour ago, you almost left with her, and you were currently wishing that you had. But a small part of you wanted to stay in case you got to hang out with Luke. You weren’t certain what you were thinking, it’s not like he would want to hang out with you. You considered going to go talk to Julie but she seemed to be having a good time, so you decided not to interrupt her; and instead you settled in the corner of the kitchen that seemed the least crowded.

After observing for a bit you decided that you needed something to dull the thoughts flowing through your mind. You got off of your stool to get some spiked red punch. You took a sip of it to find that it was more vodka than hawian punch. It burned your mouth and the back of your throat as it went down, but it would do the trick. You managed to gag down about half a cup before you noticed a girl around your age approaching you.

She had black straightened hair pulled up in a high ponytail. She wore a neon green two piece dress which nicely complemented the silver makeup she had applied to her dark brown skin. She took the other stool next to you.

“How’s the punch coming?” she asked with a widely toothed grin.

“Depends how low your standards are,” you remarked as you took another swing.

“Yeah, I noticed your first attempt,” she laughed.

You groaned internally about how you probably looked. “It was that bad?”

“Mhmm, I’ve seen worse tonight, so don’t sweat it.” She patted your shoulder in assurance. “I’m Allie by the way.”

“I’m y/n, nice to meet you,” you said with a smile.

Allie seemed to smirk at your introduction. “Oh trust me, I know who you are.”

You however, were certain you had never met this girl in your life. “Care to elaborate?” you asked.

“Your friend sent me over here to check on you.” She pointed behind her in the general direction of the massive living room, where you had last seen your friends.

“Please tell me Julie didn’t send you,” you groaned as you pressed your fingers against your temple.

“Yep, I believe that was her name,” she admitted.

You hesitantly looked over at her and made eye contact. “You really don’t have to hang out with me, you know that right?”

She shrugged. “I don’t have anything better to do, besides you don’t seem too bad.”

“You don’t seem too bad either Allie,” you agreed with a slight smirk.

“Well thank you, now your friend Julie tells me you’re over here moping about a boy?” she asked, though it was more of a statement. And it wasn’t a statement you could disagree with either.

“How much did she tell you?” you questioned.

“Not that much,” she answered with an anxious smile.

You continued to look at her, until she eventually sighed.

“Okay a decent amount, you don’t have to tell me anything, but would it help if I told you something about me to make it fair?” Allie suggested.

You couldn’t help but chuckle at her proposal but you agreed nonetheless.

“Well I was talking to this girl earlier, and I was going to get her number, but then I think she left before I could get it, and I’m really upset about it,” she started.

You took another swig of your drink and you continued to watch her as she continued.

“And she was wearing this bright orange top, and she had on these tall black heels and-” You cut Allie off as you realized the outfit she was describing sounded very familiar. Suddenly, the pieces fell into place.

“Wait, her name didn’t happen to be Flynn, did it?” you asked.

“Yes, it was! Do you know her?” she exclaimed.

“Are you kidding me, she’s one of my best friends!” you yelled.

“Do you think you could pass my number along to her?” Allie timidly questioned.

“Of course! Flynn mentioned something about there being a girl she met, but she had to go because her mom was coming home,” you explained.

Allie clasped her hand to her mouth. “She mentioned me?”

You nodded your head, you briefly considered telling her that Flynn had called her pretty too, but you decided that you would leave it up to Flynn to tell her that. After she had calmed down you handed your phone over to her to write down her number, which you immediately sent to Flynn. Not even a full minute later, Flynn had texted her.

Allie let out a small screech of excitement. “You are my guardian angel y/n!” she praised you.

You giggled at her compliment, “I didn’t even do anything.”

She tilted her head down at you to glare. “You saved me from never being able to contact her again, I will not be accepting that as an answer.”

You raised your hands in surrender. “Alright, you’re welcome then, but I do expect to be the first person on your wedding guest list,” you sarcastically commented.

“If this works out, hell, you can be my maid of honor,” she remarked.

You laughed hard enough at her retort that you nearly fell off of your stool, but you managed to pull yourself together when you realized Allie was still trying to talk to you.

“But now you have to let me pay you back,” she insisted.

You raised your eyebrows in confusion.

“You got me in contact with Flynn, so now I want to help you with your boy troubles,” she explained.

You internally debated for a couple minutes before eventually agreeing to accept her help.

“Okay, so tell me anything and everything you want to about him.”

As you dived into your pity story, you felt your somber mood starting to come back. “His name is Luke, and we’ve been friends for a couple months now. We’re really close and we flirt all the time, but I think I’m only ever going to be a friend to him.”

Allie narrowed her eyes at you. “Did you just say you flirt all the time but you think he only wants to be friends?”

“Yeah.”

“You know that doesn’t make any sense, right?” she questioned.

“Well I think he flirts that way with everyone. I don’t think I’m special to him in that way,” you admitted.

“First of all, I don’t know how anyone could look at you and not see that you’re special, but what does your boy look like?”

You couldn’t quite figure out why that would help, but you told her anyways. As you finished, she opened her mouth to give her take.

“See that’s where I think you’re wrong, I’ve been here since your group got here. And I haven’t seen him look at anyone like he looked at you when you walked in.”

“And what way was that?” you questioned before taking another sip of your drink.

“Like he wants to fuck you,” Allie said seriously. You nearly did a spit take, but you managed to hold back your laughter long enough for you to swallow.

“Allie, I think you’ve got him pegged wrong.”

She opened her mouth to comment on your sentence, but you held up a finger. “I know I set myself up for that one, but don’t do it.”

“Fine, if you wanna take all the fun out of it,” she quipped.

As she was momentarily distracted by her phone, you glanced around the room. You quickly recognized one of the faces in the crowd, as none other than Luke himself. He soon turned around to see you watching him. He arched his eyebrows at you almost in challenge, and when you did the same to him, his lips quirked up in a smirk. You knew exactly what he had just started, and in turn, what you had agreed to.

It was a sort of unspoken game that the two of you played. Whoever was the first to lose their composure, lost. You had won a grand total of one time, by a means of which you would never tell anyone about. But that didn’t stop you from playing it.

You turned back to Allie who started up a conversation mostly entailing complaining about school. You tried to stay in the conversation, but your brain kept pulling you back to Luke. You shortly after gave in, and stole another glance from him as he was swaying side to side to the music coming from another room. He jutted his chin out with a satisfactory grin, but you refused to give him a win, and stuck your tongue out at him. You couldn’t hear him, but you could see him tutting at you and shaking his head. You rolled your eyes and gave him the finger. While you knew that would probably end up biting you in the butt later, it was fun in the moment.

“Earth to y/n,” Allie snapped, and you came out of your daze.

“What? I’m sorry,” you apologized.

“You’re fine, I just asked you what I should send to Flynn,” she continued. She tried to hand her phone over to you, but you pushed it back.

“Flynn will know it’s me if I help, that girl has like a sixth sense for when someone’s lying. How do you think Flynn and Julie know I like Luke?” you pointed out.

“Good point, I’ll think of something.” She went back to her phone as she puzzled at whatever Flynn had sent.

As you tilted your head up you realized that Luke was unmistakingly closer than he was earlier. You would’ve moved if it weren’t for the fact that you were sitting with Allie. Which was likely the reason why he had moved closer, because he knew you couldn’t move away.

As you locked eyes again Luke’s eyes quickly pulled downward as they trailed down and back up your frame. You fought hard not to smile but you covered it well by turning to toss your hair backwards. As you faced him again you could see him mouthing something. After he repeated it twice you realized he said ‘damn right’. You hoped you somehow could miraculously think of something to say, but your thought process had momentarily stopped because of him. Either he hadn’t noticed your loss in composure or you hadn’t done enough yet to lose, despite the fact that you were already in a flustered daze.

“Dude are you alright?” Allie asked.

“What? Yep! Definitely,” you stumbled out.

Allie didn’t buy your lie for a second. “Are you sure?”

You still weren’t fully present. “Yeah, sorry, I’m just a little bit distracted with the setting,” you said without thinking.

“The setting?” she repeated, and you realized what had just come out of your mouth.

“That was maybe a little weird,” you laughed.

“It’s cool, but can you help me choose what photo to send to Flynn?” She showed you her phone which had a handful of photos of her in various outfits and in different places. Your eyes flicked up from the phone for only a moment, to see that Luke had been waiting for you to look up. He never broke his piercing gaze as his tongue peeked out from behind his lips and scooped up to almost touch his tongue before rolling back down.

“Shit,” you hissed, looking downwards.

Allie finally started to connect the dots. She looked from you to where Luke stood, then back to you.

“Wait, that’s why you’ve been acting weird!” she exclaimed.

“Yes, but could you keep it down please? He doesn’t need to know that,” you whispered.

“Right, sorry,” she muttered. You realized you needed a distraction from the infuriating hot boy in front of you so you forced your attention to go back to Allie’s phone.

“Oh by the way, I think you should definitely go with this picture, your lighting is the best.” You pointed to the far left photo in the middle.

“Ooooh, good choice,” she agreed, as she took her phone back. “So what’s up with the boyfriend?” she absentmindedly questioned.

“Again not my boyfriend, but he’s being a little shit,” you loudly spoke the second part. You watched as Luke dawned his most innocent face as he mouthed the word ‘what’ to you. You scowled at him, but he looked at you with a rather satisfactory grin.

Allie watched your silent banter with amusement. “He is all up in your hair, isn’t he?” she teased.

“No he isn’t!” you protested. But as you looked back and he winked at you, you had to slap a hand over your mouth to keep from screaming, and you realized she may have had a point.

“Oh, he is so, but goodluck with that one, though something tells me you won’t need it.” She winked before standing up.

“Are you serious leaving me alone with him?” you complained.

“You know that’s what you want, and I’m pretty sure he wants that too.”

“Fine, you may have a point,” you conceded.

“But you better tell me all of the details by tomorrow,” she insisted as she made her way out of the kitchen.

“Same goes to you!” you called out.

Luke quickly came over to take your previous friends spot.

“It’s so weird how you never seem to win y/n,” he sarcastically commented.

You lightly slapped his knee. “Oh shut it Patterson.”

One of his eyebrows quirked up. “I thought that was my line.”

You knew you probably should’ve let it drop but you weren’t quite certain what he was trying to say. “Then what’s mine?”

“Make me,” he answered without hesitation.

You sharply inhaled and closed your eyes, before glaring. “You are so lucky you are hot.”

Luke’s eyes widened and his corners of his lips tilted up. “What was that?”

Truthfully, you hadn’t meant to say that out loud, but you were not going to tell him that. “Nothing that you need to hear a second time,” you retorted.

“But what if I want to?” he sweetly protested.

“Well then you’re gonna have to try harder than that,” you scoffed.

Luke swallowed hard and cleared his throat. “Can I kiss you?”

While the question momentarily confused you, you hungrily agreed, and in seconds his lips were against yours. He was just as starving for the taste for you as you were for him. The kiss quickly deepened as his hands clutched the back of your neck for support, and your hands were tangled in his hair. His tongue quickly took dominance over yours as your lips parted for one another. It felt like your whole body lit on fire as rainbows flashed in your closed eyes. You only pulled away out of the fear that you would pass out if you didn’t.

“That was better than I’ve imagined, and I’ve thought about it a lot,” Luke raspilly admitted.

After a couple deep breaths it dawned on him what had happened.

Luke scratched the back of his neck. “Did I just say that out loud?”

“Yep,” you giggled.

He looked at you pleadingly. “You have to promise me, you’re not going to tell anyone that.”

“Nope, I’m telling everyone,” you teased.

“Oh shut it.”

You looked at him with a certain type of fire in your eyes. “Make me.”

He spun you so your right ear was facing him as he whispered into it. “You know, I drove my car here,” he hinted.

“What are we going to tell the rest of the band?”

“We can figure that out later,” he assured you, as he took a hold of your hand.

As you felt his warmth pressed up against your skin, you knew that there was no part of you that wanted to say no. “Alright, but they can’t find out. Otherwise, I will never hear the end of it from Julie.” Luke grinned from ear to ear.

“You’ve got a deal princess,” he agreed as he led you to his car.

Unsurprisingly, they all did find out later, and the two of you had to endure their teasing and prodding for the entire ride home. But this didn’t bother either of you because you were both still too happy to care.

Taglist: @tenaciousperfectionunknown @cupcakesandunicornfarts @sunsetcurvej (feel free to click on my taglist link or comment to be added to the taglist. Or comment or ask to be removed)

[kuroopaisen]

tiny love || iv

➵ as tooru’s younger sister, falling in love with iwaizumi hajime was easy. iwaizumi ultimately decided to rebuff you. but that was a year ago - things are different now. and you have other things to worry about.  

warnings: f!reader

wc: 2.6k

m.list | ch. 3 ↞ ch. 4↠ ch. 5

“Are you sure you’d be okay with that, Tooru?” You asked, trying to keep your voice as normal as possible.

Your heart stuttered in your chest. You were sat on the edge of your bed, phone pressed to your ear and fist twisted up in your sheets. There was a chill in the air that wouldn’t have bothered you under normal circumstances.

But after those words had left your brother’s mouth, something about the room felt sharp.

“I’m the one who suggested it, aren’t I?” Tooru chuckled. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

You bit the inside of your cheek, pain blossoming through the muscle. “I don’t know,” you mumbled. “I just didn’t think you’d be comfortable with me living with one of your friends.”

“Iwa’s a good guy,” he said. You could hear the smile in his voice. “Besides, you guys have known each other for ages. He’ll look after you, I’m sure of it.”

You chewed on your lip for a moment, at a total loss of what to say.

“It’s not like he’s going to try and get in your pants or anything,” Tooru snorted.

Godzilla. The couch in your family’s entertainment room. The warmth of his lips on yours.

But you couldn’t tell Tooru about any of that. Although, the moment he’d suggested you move in with Iwaizumi almost made you crack.

By some stroke of bad luck – or perhaps as the set-up for some cosmic joke – you’d gotten into the same university as the boy you’d been so enamoured with as a seventeen-year-old. And you’d genuinely had no idea.

But it was too late to change your plans. You’d already gotten a scholarship, and you were sure you parents wouldn’t forgive you if you pulled out now. Even if your instincts were telling you to do just that.

“Have you spoken to him about this?” You asked. Perhaps this was your out. If Iwaizumi wasn’t all for it, then there was absolutely no reason for you to agree with it. Right?

“Yeah,” Tooru said. “He’s all for it.”

You frowned. Iwaizumi? Okay with this? Even though he was the one who’d decided that you needed to distance yourselves from each other?

But… it’s been a year. And he’s been a university student living in another country. A lot had probably changed for him.

A lot had changed for you.

And as much as you wanted to deny it, there were benefits to living with Iwaizumi, at least for one semester.

Moving to America is scarier than you’re willing to admit. The thought of living with an unknown roommate in a country you’d never stepped foot in before had kept you up at night a few times.

What if you hated each other? What if something went horribly, terribly wrong and you were left stranded? What if they were a creep?

At least Iwaizumi was a known quantity. One that you hadn’t necessarily left it on terrible terms one; just awkward ones.

“You still there?” Tooru’s voice shocked you back to the present moment.

“Oh, yeah,” you cleared your throat, “is his LINE still the same?”

“Sure is!”

Your throat felt dry. “I’ll call him later.”

You twisted your fists in your bedsheets, a weird knot forming in your stomach.

“Good,” Tooru hummed. “I think it’ll be good for you. You don’t need to be completely alone when you first move over there.”

Guilt twisted in your chest. You knew why he was saying that. He’d told you just how lonely those first few months in Argentina had been.

He didn’t want that for you. That’s why he’d suggested this damn roommates idea.

If only he knew.

“That’d be good,” you said. It wasn’t a lie.

Another thought sat at the back of your throat, forcing its way out.

“Tooru, I… I don’t know if I’m ready for it.”

Your voice was painfully quiet as you finally breathed life into the one fear you didn’t want to admit. You hadn’t even mentioned this to Amaya. But you knew you could trust Tooru with this – perhaps, he might even be able to say something useful.

“You’ll be fine,” he said, his tone as gentle as he could muster. “I didn’t think I was ready, either.”

“I figured,” you grinned. For all his bravado at the airport, a few dozen follow-up phone calls had really sowed that idea in your mind.

Tooru scoffed. “Here I am, trying to be a good older brother—”

“Sorry, sorry,” you laughed. “I appreciate the attempt.”

“You know, you’d think that me moving half way across the world would be enough to get you to finally be nice to me,” Tooru sighed, and you don’t need to see him to know that he was running a hand through his hair dramatically. “But alas… I’m doomed to be mistreated by my very own sister.”

“Have you considered being less dramatic?” You teased. “Then maybe I’d take you a bit more seriously.”

You held the phone away from your ear as Tooru started his tirade,

“If I’m being completely honest,” he said, his tone now much heavier than before, “I thought I was making a big mistake for a second there.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Two weeks in and I wanted to run back home. I wondered if I could really do this.”

A part of your brain told you to be surprised. Another part told you that of course he’d be frightened.

Tooru is just a human, not some superhuman who’s above mortal concerns – no matter how much he tried to hide that fact.

“Turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life.”

A gentle, relieved silence settled between the two of you, the only sound the distant din of traffic from Tooru’s end of the phone.

“I’m glad to hear it,” you murmured. Sincerity was rare between the two of you, but you weren’t about to pretend to be anything but relieved.

“Trust me, it’s going to be fine,” Tooru sighed. “And if it doesn’t end up working out, you’ve still got time. You’re young. And you’ve got a home to go back to.”

You searched for the comfort in those words as best you could. But you couldn’t find any. He hadn’t intended it, but within those words was a little reminder that you might fail. That you might not even come close to the brilliance that is Oikawa Tooru.

“Thanks, Tooru,” if all you could say. He’s just trying to be helpful.

“Besides, if it all goes to shit, you can join me in Argentina!” His voice was a tad more gleeful than you would’ve liked.

“I don’t think I’ll be doing that,” you chuckled.

“Aw,” he whined, “why not?”

“You’d be such a helicopter parent.”

Tooru gasped, the sound piercing over the phone line. “I would not!”

“You would!” You laughed. “You’d meddle in everything?”

“And?” He scoffed. “Is that such a bad thing?”

“Yes!” You protested. “I’m not a child anymore.”

“Ah, well you see,” Tooru tutted. “That’s where you’re wrong. You’ll always be a child to me.”

You rolled your eyes, a comfortable feeling of familiarity settling in your chest. Suddenly, your room doesn’t feel so cold. “I didn’t answer your call just to be coddled.”

“You should be used to it by now.”

“You know, whenever I start to miss you, I’m going to remind myself of this.”

“You are so mean to me!” Tooru wailed.

The bickering went on, an endless cycle of well-worn insults and epithets. But the conversation had to come to an end. You knew you couldn’t put off contacting him any longer.  

Eventually you ended the call, holding the phone to your ear for a couple of moments after it was over.

You sighed, letting it drop onto the bed. You flopped back in tandem, staring up at your roof.

Life really was just one big joke, huh?

Although, you wished you understood what the punchline was.

✧ ✧ ✧

You stared at Iwaizumi’s LINE profile a little longer than you should’ve.

It’d been a couple of hours since you’d ended your call with Tooru, and you’d only just worked up the courage.

In your defence, you hadn’t been planning on this. You’d expected to have a very different phone call with a complete stranger, deciding from a handful of phone conversations as to whether or not they were trustworthy enough to live with.

But there you were, about to call The Iwaizumi Hajime.

It’d be fine, right? That little heartbreak had happened well over a year ago now. It’s irrelevant. And you’re well and truly over it.

Not that the thought of calling him didn’t make you feel like you were about to throw up from nerves.

God, why did it feel like you were about to sit an exam?

No, you weren’t going to let your anxiety get the better of you. Not when your education was – sort of – at stake.

With a heavy sigh, you clicked the little call icon and held the phone up to your ear.

The ringing sounded like a death march.

“Hello?” Iwaizumi’s unmistakable voice crackled through your speaker.

Yeah, you definitely felt like you were about to throw up. “Hello.”

The line fell silent.

You bit your lip. Maybe you shouldn’t have done this. Maybe you should’ve just lied and told Tooru that you’d already worked out lodgings. Sure, there’d be a last-minute scramble to get something in place before your parents caught wind of your little lie and—

“How are you?” The words were a little gruff, a little awkward.

This was going to be a very long conversation. You could feel it in your bones.

“I’m alright,” you said, trying to keep your voice as level as possible. “How about you?”

“I’m doing pretty good,” he said. There’s something different about his voice. Maybe it was a little deeper than when you’d last spoken? Or maybe you were imagining it.

Truth be told, you can’t really remember what he sounded like.

“That’s… good to hear,” you said, a paltry attempt at an implied olive branch.

“Yeah, uh…” He cleared his throat. He was probably scratching the back of his neck as he spoke. You hated yourself for even assuming. “Things have been going well.”

A long silence followed. A very painful silence.

A silence, you realised, that you had to break.

“What are you studying?” You asked. A nice, neutral question.

“Exercise science.” The response was immediate. Was that… relief in his voice?

“Oh, really?” You blinked.

“Yeah,” he said. “You sound surprised.”

Your mouth hung open for a moment, searching for a response. But nothing felt adequate enough. Did you really sound surprised? Why did you feel the need to defend yourself?

“I mean I…” You bit your lip, frowning. “I don’t know, I just… wouldn’t have picked that for you.”

Did he just chuckle? You could’ve sworn you heard a chuckle.

“What would you have picked for me, then?” He asked.

“I…” You racked your brain, trying to stitch together all the knowledge you had of the boy – no, the man on the other end of the phone. “I have no idea, actually.”

He distinctively chuckled that time. Damn the swell of pride in your chest.

“Why exercise science?” You asked, genuinely curious.

“It’s the only chance I have of beating Oikawa.”

It’s so instantaneous and ludicrous that you laughed.

“That… doesn’t make much sense, but okay,” you smiled. You were well-aware of the competitive edge that ran through their friendship. Good to see that hadn’t faded, at least.

“You’ll see,” he promised. “Just you wait.”

You chuckled in response as another silence settled over the two of you.

What was there to say? What did you want to say? It’d been so long that you weren’t even sure.

“So…” Iwaizumi said, voice unusually tentative. “Oikawa told me you’re coming out here.”

“Yeah,” you nodded. That’s right. That’s the whole reason you were calling him.

“That’s a big move,” he marvelled, as if he hadn’t done the exact thing he was talking about.

“I know,” you murmured. “I’m kind of scared.”

“What of?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted. Perhaps your lips were looser than they should’ve been. “I just… I’ll be in a whole new country. Alone.”

“I see.” There’s something comforting about his voice. Something stable. He’d always been a good listener, hadn’t he?

“And… it gets more daunting the closer it gets.”

“Mhm.”

“And I’m scared I’ll regret it.” There it was. The one fear that you hadn’t admitted to anyone else – not Amaya, not your parents, not Tooru.

“Why?” Iwaizumi asked.

“I don’t know, I…” You bit your lip, a frown settling on your face.

Now you’d given that fear a voice, you understood it less. Wasn’t the opposite supposed to happen?

“Do you regret moving so far away from home?” You asked.

Iwaizumi wasn’t Tooru. He wasn’t driven by the same insatiability. He had his ambitions, yes, but he didn’t break his back trying to reach for them. Maybe, just maybe, that meant he’d be easier to understand.

“Sometimes,” he admitted.

“Ah.” Not quite the answer you wanted to hear.

“But…” he sighed, “it’s been a good experience.”

“So… a net positive?”

“I’d say so,” he said. “I’ve had a lot of experiences I’m grateful for.”

“Right,” you nodded.

“I heard you got a scholarship,” he said.

“Did Tooru brag about that?” You groaned, running a hand down your face and bending over your knees.

“Sure did,” Iwaizumi chuckled. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” you sighed, biting back the urge to say, ‘it’s not a big deal.’ The last time you’d said that, Amaya had shot you quite the glare.

You swallowed roughly, looking down at your feet.

One deep breath, and it would be time.

“So…” you started, the back of your neck prickling. “Tooru said he’d spoken to you about me… potentially moving in with you?”

“Yeah, he did.”

Ah. Nice and blunt.

“Would you… be alright with that?” You asked, hands a little clammier than before. “I wouldn’t want to impose…”

“Well, I don’t like the idea of just dropping you in America with nowhere to go, so… the offer’s open.”

He sounded honest, at least. Not that you had reason to believe he would be anything but.

“Right,” you nodded. “Thanks.” You licked your lips, trying to stop your nerves from getting the better of you. “I appreciate it,” you added, unsure of how strange that might be to say.

“Not a problem.”

You couldn’t tell if he was lying or not.

“I can send you the information over email,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

“The lease and stuff like that. Also, the address so you can actually see where it is.”

“Oh, right…” you swallowed. “Yeah, that’d be useful.”

“Alright, I’ll get that ready for you.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled. “I need to discuss this with my parents, so I’ve got to go…”

“All good,” Iwaizumi said. “Talk to you later.”

“Yeah,” you sighed, lowering the phone from your ear and tapping the red ‘END CALL’ icon.

You tossed your phone at your pillow, watching it land with a muffled ‘thump’. It pinged with a notification – probably Iwaizumi asking for your email, you realised.

Fuck. Shit. Fuck.

You groaned as you flopped back onto your bed for the second time that evening.

What was going on? How had you ended up in this situation? Which cosmic force had it in for you?

Everything was so confusing.

One thing was for certain, though.

Amaya’s going to kill you.

✧ ✧ ✧

a/n: hhhhhh thank you for your kind words about the last chapter! this one is also unbeta’d but Oh Well

[hollandgarden]

Drinking Game (TH)

Description: After Tom and his girlfriend are snowed in the for evening, unable to attend Harrison’s birthday party, he comes up with a brillant game. Each rounds leaves one of them with more or less clothing. Who will be the winner of the head on surprise?

Warnings: smutty af (if you’re under 18, maybe don’t read), alcohol use, swearing, stupid sexy Tom 

Word Count: 1,848

***

“Hey, babe?” I called. 

Tom came swiftly down the stairs, ready to go to Harrison’s birthday party. “What?”

I shot him a nervous smile as I pulled back from the window. “The snow is coming down pretty good. News says the roads are already slick.” 

“Damn, I’ll message H. We should not risk it,” he mumbled, pushing up his glasses, and crossed his arms. “No excuse to drink then.” 

“You need an excuse?” I snorted. “We both know that’s not true.” 

Tom tapped his chin, a subtle smirk crossing his face. “Let’s have our own drinking game.” 

“What kind?” 

I followed him into the squared off kitchen and watched him take out a whole twelve pack of Coors Light. This oughta be interesting. 

“We’ll have six rounds. First five the loser has to remove an item of clothing. The sixth round, the loser goes down on the winner,” Tom explained. 

I eyed him curiously. “Basically, we’re getting shit-faced and someone’s getting head?”

He bit his lip, then chuckled “Yeah, pretty much. Sounds good, yeah?”

The look on his face alone should’ve warned me what it actually involved. But I couldn’t argue that this wasn’t going to be better than going out with friends.

“Sounds fucking perfect. Let’s get started.” 

Both of us took off our winter coats and shoes before we settled into the living room. I pulled back my hair with the tie on my wrist. Who knew how this was going to go; it was a toss up honestly. But winning the last round would be oh so fucking sweet. 

“Ready?” Tom started as he popped his tab. 

“Steady,” I countered, popping my own. 

“Go!” we both yelled and started chugging. 

Oh, boy, this first round was not going to be good for me. The bubbles running down my throat made me cringe a little and slowed me down. I went as fast as I could though, yet Tom slammed his empty on the coffee table first.

I did get better the more drunk I was. We both knew that. 

“I say jumper,” he stated, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. 

“You didn’t say the winner chose the item,” I retorted, already holding back a small burp from the carbonation. 

Tom fully smirked. “I’m adding it now. Come on, make it more fun, my love.” 

He was right on that. I barely huffed as I pulled off the navy crew neck to reveal my black lace bra. 

“Look at those,” he whistled lowly. 

I rolled my eyes. “Tom, you’ve seen them before.” 

“But they’re yours and I love them every time.” 

I couldn’t stop the heat that filled my cheeks, and that was partly due to the one drink and heater we had going. 

“Second round.”

I struggled against the same bubbly current. I chugged the liquid through the tiny hole as quickly as possible. I eyed Tom from the corner of my eye and he was doing the same; a clint of amusement sparkled. I coughed at the little bit of alcohol went down the wrong tube and I had to stop. 

He threw his arms in the air. “I win!” He gestured widely at my bottoms area. “Skirt next. I want the skirt.”

“If you say so. You won’t win every round. I’ll get one and then it’s my turn to make the call.” I stood up before I reached back for the zipper of the black and white houndstooth mini. I inched it down, Tom enjoying every second until it naturally fell to the ground. I flicked it to the side with my foot. I did sway a little and after this third I would definitely be tipsy. 

Tom leaned over to plant a sweet kiss on my lips. “I look forward to it.”

We cheered to start the third. The time slipped by as it had in the others. Some of the beer splashed onto my cheek, but I managed to win this one. I had found my rhythm finally. No more stuffing my cheeks as much as I could before swallowing and doing it again; I went straight for a fluid stream. 

I ripped one to announce the victory. There was no way to stop the giggles that followed and I covered my mouth with the hand that held the empty to hide them. “Go ahead with... your button up.” 

“Cheers, I was gett-” he lightly burped and busted out laughing. “I was getting stuffy.”

I licked my lips as he barely fumbled with the buttons. He raised his eyebrows up and down, like an idiot, as he whipped it off to reveal his beautiful chest. There was no way to not linger on the collarbone area and biceps, and I had to swallow away the sensation. 

Get a hold of yourself.

I shot up and slid into the kitchen. “Eat. We need a s-snack!”

“Get the crisps!” he yelled. 

I dramatically opened the cabinet doors and crawled up onto the counter, which was immensely unnecessary but so fun. Then I scrambled the three different bags into my arms and hurried back to him, tossing the bag of crisps to him. I ate out of the already opened bag of popcorn. The saltiness and slight crunch was exactly what I needed; though chicken nuggets wouldn’t be a bad idea either. This would do. 

Tom leaned back against the armchair with his eyes closed and munched slowly. 

“Not done already, are you?” I giggled under my breath. “I-I think… that qualifies as an automatic win for the final prize.”

“Nope!” He shot his head up. “Just resting up, darling.” 

I popped another piece into my mouth. “Let me know when.”

“When.”

“Ha ha.”

He rolled up the bag and tossed it aside. “Seriously, let’s go.” 

I scooted back up to the table, letting my legs sprawl underneath it and rest up against his. “Okay.” 

Let me save you from the gory details of my horrid slurping. Tom won his third round. I knew the crisps would soak up some of his alcohol and sober him up enough to focus. Fuck. 

Slowly, he set the can on the table and tapped his chin, “How about.... Your underwear, but leave the tights on.

I furrowed my brows. “W-why?” 

He squinted an eye momentarily and shrugged. “It’s hot.” 

There was no way I’d admit to him that I agreed. Though, this meant I had to go through the hassle of taking off the sheer black material and pulling them back on. I’m sure that was unattractive to watch; embarrassing for sure. He was the only one I’d ever do this for. 

My vision was getting blurry, and if I attempted to use my phone it would definitely end in a disaster. But a hilarious moment in the morning. Alas, I tossed it somewhere on the couch to stop myself. 

We went straight into the fifth round and I practically spilled half of the beer on my chest. Well, that was one way to win. 

“Bott-ttems.” I pointed him up and down. “Take them off, Holland.”

I gazed in pure amusement as he tried to dance them off. 

“You’re such a dork.” 

He pointed at me abruptly with a serious look. “But you love me.” 

I rolled my eyes. “I do. More snacks or should we go straight into the next?”

“Straight!” He circled his hand and plopped down to grab his last can. 

I reached over for my last and it took me two tries to pick it up. I was basically drunk. If we were at a club and anyone asked, I’d try to convince them I wasn’t. I’m sure if he asked right now, I’d do the same. It wouldn’t be believable. 

This final round was the one that truly counted, though I wouldn’t care who won. It was pleasurable to give and receive in my opinion. 

“One,” I started. 

Tom cocked a brow, bringing the can closer to his mouth. “Two.” 

I also brought the cool metal to touch my lips. “Three!” 

I tiled my head back as far as I could to give leverage for a smoother chug. It was by far the best I had done all the rounds, though that didn’t matter. It didn’t take a scientist to see how slow Tom was drinking. 

When I finished, I slammed my empty on the table and whipped my arms out. “You cheated!” 

“I cheated?” he gasped and rested a hand on his chest. “You won!” 

I giggled. “You let me win.” 

“I…” He held a finger up. “I did not… Y-you won fair and square, my love.”

Tom crawled his way over to my side and left small kisses on my neck. “Get up-p on the couch.”

I couldn’t stop the short giggles. But I backed my way up onto the couch. I rested my legs on his shoulders and eyed him. His lips left sweet kisses on the inner of my thighs and trailed all the way up. We were going straight for it; that was fine by me. 

His mouth came close to the already throbbing at the thoughts. His breath left me cringing. The laughs couldn’t be controlled as he did a few more puffs of air on purpose. It tickled and he knew that. 

“Stop that.”

Tom looked up at me for a moment with a laugh before he slid his tongue up and down. It was hot against my clit and I swallowed. He wouldn’t get the satisfaction of pleasing me so soon. 

“Not yet,” I mumbled, tangling my fingers in the soft, chocolate curls. 

Tom licked his lips, pure determination in his eyes. His mouth disappeared and the slick warmth returned. He continued his slower teases, not missing a single area. Every inch was loved. His lightly calloused hands trailed up on my outer thighs and landed on my lips for a squeeze. It caused me to shiver. 

I found myself making small pulses and moaned as I closed my eyes. His lips left sweet kisses as well. That was torturing. 

His hands pulled down the tights, only halfway, and he used them to keep my legs at his sides; this was why he wanted me to leave them on, I knew that now. I whimpered as he leaned back in. His licks turned into numbing flicks on my clit. We should’ve put a towel down; this was not something I should be thinking about right now. 

“More, Tom. Make me cum.” 

I had to sit up a little as leverage when the burning sensation began and gasped. I gripped the throw pillow beside me with my final moans and clenched. I revelled in the following shudders. It was almost better than the actual high.

“Fuck,” I breathed. The only coherent thought I had after that drunken orgasm. “I… definitely won.” 

Tom crawled his way up to give me a peck. “We both won, darling.”

I laughed. “I say we play this again next weekend.”

“I agree…. Shall we eat and binge more Teen Wolf.” 

I clapped my hands. “Hell yeah!”

[Masterlist]

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 13, second part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Distractions) 

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

This Fucking Turtle

The rock that Wei Wuxian and Wen Chao are standing on starts to move, because of course it does. It’s a tortoise shell, sort of. There are some problems with this ostensible tortoise. 

First, Murder Turtle a tortoise is technically a turtle don't @ me doesn't look anything like a turtle. I try really hard not to project my western mythologies onto Chinese works, but god dang this thing looks like the Loch Ness monster.

Second, its shell wobbles a bit, but there's no indication that the creature can move around the cave until much later. During an extended fight with several tasty cultivators, it stays put and just moves its head around.  

The immobility problem aside, it's not a terrible monster. After the hell dog, I'm relieved to have a normal CGI beastie where some things are done really pretty well. Its eyes and skin are particularly good.

What's not good are the teeth. When Murder Turtle closes its mouth, its long pointy upper teeth have nowhere to go, so they pierce its lower jaw and just sink in there. No wonder it's pissed off.

Its relationship with its shell is...well, let's save that for the next episode.

Irons in the Fire

Meanwhile,  Wang Lingjiao (Wen Chao's girlfriend) decides she's in the mood for barbequed MianMian, so she grabs a hot iron to burn her face.

Wei Wuxian to the rescue! He shoots three arrows at once and hits all three of his targets, in a move that he'll repeat with even more arrows at a later date.

Wang Lingjiao decides to throw the iron at MianMian, who decides not to duck, while Wei Wuxian leaps into the path of the iron and gets deeply burned on the chest through his clothing. This is absolutely definitely how time, things flying through the air, and branding irons work.

(more after the cut)

Jiang Cheng and Wen Zhuliu start fighting again. These two can't quit each other, almost like they have a date with destiny in their future.  Jiang Cheng shows off his purple bloomers while he and Wen Zhuliu try to outspin each other.

Camera operator: Why you gotta take it out on me?

Wen It’s Time To Say Goodbye

The Wens decide to dip, heading up the rock face and cutting the ropes behind them, which would be super inconvenient if several of the cultivators didn't know how to literally fly.

But they also put a bunch of rocks in the hole, while Wen Qing begs them not to do it.

Down at the bottom of the cave, everyone sits and chats, while Murder Turtle wishes it had legs so it could chase them. Oh wait, it does have legs, it just isn't ready to get out of the bath yet

Call the Waaambulance

MianMian is crying over all the nonsense the writers have put her through in this episode, and Wei Wuxian tries to cheer her up by talking to her like she's a toddler. On the plus side, he'll be a great dad for a toddler one day.

Jin Zixuan: I'm used to women crying around me, is that not typical?

Lan Wangji has got no time for cheering up crying girls, and starts heading back to the turtle bath, because he has figured out how they can escape. 

He and Wei Wuxian show off their mind reading abilities, where Lan Wangji explains absolutely nothing and Wei Wuxian perfectly understands him. See also: “Fortunately.” 

Rather than try to swim for it, the other cultivators want to hang around and wait to be rescued, or just generally feel like staying put and whining. 

Wei Wuxian takes charge through sheer force of personality, and makes Jiang Cheng go find the way out while he himself distracts Murder Turtle with fire.

Wei Wuxian can make talismans without 1. ink 2. a brush or 3. paper. He just needs his flesh and his unusually sharp incisors. He's so far ahead of everyone around him; how is a dude this talented ever going to be anyone's right hand man? He’s already on track to creating a new talisman-based school of cultivation, even if he never gets around to the whole necromancy thing.  

Swimming in the Pool, Swimming is Cool

The main group of cultivators go swimming while Wei Wuxian lights fires to keep the tortoise's attention. For some reason he just stands there when it's about to eat him...maybe he's mesmerized? Lan Wangji flings him out of harm’s way and gets his already-busted leg chomped on. 

Wei Wuxian pulls Lan Wangji to safety and tells the other cultivators to get going. Jiang Cheng doesn't want to, but Jin Zixuan convinces him.

For fans of homoerotic screen caps, this episode is a gold mine.

Murder turtle suddenly remembers he has legs, but Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji instantly find a room he can’t fit into, so they’re okay for the night.

Owie Owie Owie

Now we have an extended hurt/comfort session with our wounded heroes. Lan Wangji is bleeding, so Wei Wuxian...puts a splint made of sticks directly onto his unbandaged lacerations, and ties it with his pristine headband, which will remain pristine. Then he puts medicine on the lacerations.

This seems like a situation where the script said "broken leg" and the makeup department said "MOAR BLOOD" and nobody changed the direction to the actors. In any case, the sticks seem to help and bandages are not mentioned.

What is mentioned, of course, is the dreaded stale blood, which plagues many a c-drama hero, and has to be driven out through strong emotion. This is totally how the human circulatory system works. To be fair, there is probably a perfectly reasonable underlying concept in Chinese medicine that has been exaggerated for dramatic effect, so that every possible ailment or injury results in vomiting blood, sometimes sexily.

Wei Wuxian clears up the blood problem super quickly by offering to show Lan Wangji his dick, not to put too fine a point on it. Alas, he retracts the offer once the crisis has passed.

Once they settle down, Lan Wangji takes the opportunity to put some medicine on Wei Wuxian's burned tit, and to chide him for letting himself get injured. It's like he doesn't even know him. 

Wei Wuxian: I had no choice, because I am psychologically driven to sacrifice myself for other people at every opportunity. Get used to it, cupcake.

Wei Wuxian points out that MianMian is pretty and that it would be bad for her to have a mark on her face. Lan Wangji points out, not quite in so many words, that Wei Wuxian is pretty and now HE has a permanent mark. Before Lan Wangji ever got to see his bare chest, too.

Wei Wuxian says it's cool for men to have marks on their bodies. Preferably hickeys and rope burns, but scars are okay too. 

Lan Wangji: you're going to love my future body mods, then.

Then Wei Wuxian waxes poetic about having a pretty girl remember your heroism, and Lan Wangji gets jealous and cranky. Wei Wuxian misinterprets this, but not unreasonably, considering that Lan Wangji was putting his own body between MianMian and harm not all that long ago.

After some extended eye fucking followed by laughing and saying "no homo" for the censors, the conversation moves to a more serious place. 

Wei Wuxian engages in a little WangXian meta analysis, noting that Lan Wangji can tease him now, and is talking to him slightly more. Falling for a high-spirited, popular extrovert has been hard on Lan Wangji, but Wei Wuxian is also struggling with falling for a nearly-silent, crushingly-shy introvert. Wei Wuxian really does find Lan Wangji boring on one level, at the same time as finding him utterly compelling on other levels. 

Wei Wuxian starts to say something about the Lans and stops himself with this charming gesture. I've seen it here and there in c-dramas and I assume it's a thing in China. It's a perfect way for a hyperactive talker to say "I'm shutting up now" without using even more words to say it.

Lan Wangji finally, FINALLY tells Wei Wuxian - briefly - what happened to his home. Wei Wuxian, in one of those moments of empathy that they have more and more often as time goes on, asks about his loved ones, and forgoes any other questions.

Lan Wangji tells him that Lan Qiren is seriously injured and Lan Xichen is missing. Wei Wuxian is extremely concerned about one of these people.

When Lan Wangji falls asleep at 9pm on the button, Wei Wuxian tenderly covers him in his own robe, offering physical comfort in place of the emotional comfort Lan Wangji won’t let anybody give him. 

Then Wei Wuxian gazes at him like a lovestruck dope, before settling down beside him for the night. 

Soundtrack: Peter Gabriel, I Go Swimming

[chubbyreaderchan]

Take | Naraku x Reader

Warnings: Sexual themes, slight yandere naraku

Kinks: breeding, tentacles, mild force that is turned into want, 

She was finally his. 

Though he supposed it was a simple task of simply taking what he wanted. That’s how he got most of who he desired. He never thought he could love anyone. No, Naraku never thought he would be weak like Onigumo but alas he fell for a simple human girl. A daughter of a farmer. The weakest of the weak, yet her beauty was unmatched even by Kikiyo and her scent was intoxicating. 

He stole her in the middle of the night and now she laid sleeping in his bed. She was never going to leave him. His cold fingers gently ran down her soft cheek and she twitched slightly, scrunching up her face in a way that Naraku could suppose one would call ‘cute’. He wanted her so badly, but he wanted her awake when he made her his. 

He smirked when her eyes began to flutter open. Even when she was sleepy she was breath taking. Her eyes widened when they met his dark red ones. She opened her mouth to scream but Naraku quickly covered her mouth with his own wanting to taste her so badly. The look of fear on her face excited the demon.

Naraku’s tongue invaded her mouth, taking the kiss he had imagined many times before. He grabbed her, pulling her against him as she struggled against his strength. Finally, he pulled away from her. 

“I suppose I should introduce myself to my darling mate...” Naraku said, continuing to hold her in his arms stroking the skin of their arms gently, in a way that he presumed would translate as loving to his partner. 

“My name is Naraku... I have been watching you for a while now (Y/n)...” He gripped her chin between his finger and thumb to force her to look into his eyes. “You get more beautiful by the day.’ His thumb moved to gently stroke her bottom lip before he pressed a kiss against her mouth once more. She winced as she tried to pull away from her capture. He pulled away just to let her speak.

"Let me go!"

"Now, now" Naraku spoke teasingly. "Why would I let you go? And where would you go? That family of yours is gone... That boy... Was eaten by demons..." A smirk curled at the corner of his lips at the thought. "You're all mine now. And even if you tried to leave me... You wouldn't survive... If my demons don't kill you, my poison will. You are safest at my side, my dearest." She whimpered in fear of his greatness.

He smirked down at her. "Even someone as weak as you can detect my power, hm?" His eyes looked over every inch of her face. The submissive fear filled it causing him to chuckle. "Such a pretty face..." His hand ran down her body, in her sleep clothes there was barely any fabric keeping him from her.

"Fret not my little human" he tugged at the fabric. "You will want for nothing. In return I just want you body, mind and soul... I will give you anything you desire, my little princess..." With one tug he ripped the cloth on her pulling it down to reveal her breasts. He smirked down looking them over.

"Please..." She begged him. "Don't hurt me..."

He simply laughed as his finger tips danced over the skin, not yet touching her breasts but just above. It amazed him at house reactive her body was. Goosebumps flashed over her skin and her nipples were already hardening from such simple touches. "I would do no such thing... As long as you do as I say, my dear." His lips pressed against the line of her jaw, nipping and biting at the skin lower to her neck. He softly began sucking at the skin causing an involuntary moan escape her. Naraku loved the sound so he sucked again and nipped softly at the same spot. He pulled away to see the slightly darker spot on her neck, a bit of saliva attached him to her slightly but the image fueled Naraku's needs.

"Tell me," his hand cupped her breast, his thumb brushing feather light touches against her nipple. "Has a man ever pleasured you before, my dearest?" Her face was slightly scrunched, clearly trying not to enjoy his touch.

She didn't answer, causing Naraku to growl in frustration. His fingers pinched her nipple roughly and pulled. "Answer me, woman." She yelled in pain and pleasure of the rough feeling. "Well?" He wasn't as angry when he heard the sound that fell from her lips.

"N-never..." She whined as he let go of the nub with an evil smirk on his lips. He laid her down once more, kissing her down her neck again finally going to her breast where he softly sucked on her sore nipple. He nipped gently at the sensitive nub before moving to kiss and suck against the skin between her breasts leaving spots along her skin. He wanted to be sure if anyone were to see her that she was very much taken... not that many men would be seeing her anymore. It was the idea of marking her up that excited him. 

“Please....” she begged him. 

“You want me to stop, my little princess?” She paused knowing she shouldn’t want him to keep going but his touch was making her skin feel like fire and she just wanted more of him. Her head shook a no and her hands reached up to pull at his kimono. 

“Ah... I see...” he chuckled. “You want more of me...” Naraku stared into her eyes. “I’m glad you are coming around to being mine so quickly,” (Y/n) looked away from his gaze in embarrassment. She shouldn’t be enjoying her kidnapper’s advancement. She cursed the fact that not only did his touches feel nice but she was starting to notice how beautiful he was in general. She wanted to cry out of frustration but she wanted him to keep touching her. She didn’t want to be trapped and yet she wondered if it would be so bad being in his care? But did he kill her family? 

Her family just died and here she was trying to tear off the clothes of the man who may have killed them.

She was quite confused.

A ripping sound was heard and he finished tearing off her kimono before moving to remove his own clothing. His body was perfect, dark hair was contrasting against his pale skin. “I’m not done teasing you yet.” He smirked down moving to half lay on top of her. “But I will allow you to see me bare since you are being so good...” 

The skin to skin contact caused her breathing to hitch, his cool hand ran down her ribs and over her hips then to her thighs. He settled the hand between her legs feeling the slick slit under his fingers. 

He grunted in delight at the feeling, her hips in response to his touch bucked forward begging for more. Then Naraku paused as an idea popped into his dark thoughts. His body contorted slightly as a few root like things came from him. 

“Do you still want me like this, my little princess?” Her eyes widened as he changed. She only felt his power but she had no clue what his power was. “Y-You’re a demon?” She whimpered. The root like body part crawled up between her legs and rubbed against her heat causing her to moan. 

“Of course, my darling.” he smirked at the nervous expression on her face. “Answer.” 

“Y-yes.” She admitted, then she felt the tip of the part rub against her clit causing her to moan softly. “Good... And here I was worried I was going to have to force you to be mine.” He laughed darkly. “Perhaps I didn’t have to steal you at all... you probably would have came to me on your own.” He kissed her cheek gently as the thick appendage rubbed fasted against her clit causing her back to arch. “You so wet my little princess.” he laughed again. “So sweet.” Without warning he pushed the part into her causing her to moan in pain. 

“Ah... s-stop.” She begged and surprisingly her did. 

“It’ll feel good in a moment.” He assured her, carefully pulling it out and pushing it back in slower. A whimper came from her again. “My little princess... you have permission to touch me.” He cooed into her ear. In an instant, her hands reached forward to run over his chest and down his  body. His cock was fairly large but nothing unexpectedly huge, her fingers wrapped around his cock and he grunted in approval. “Just stroke it,” he instructed. He liked that she had no experience. He was going to teach her to be perfect for him. 

(Y/n) did as he told her slowly stroking the rigid member. It was smooth and incredibly warm, then the soft moans that came from the demon’s mouth only encouraged her, as well as the thick root like body part that was now moving in and out of her hole. 

The appendage inside of her brushed perfectly against her g-spot causing her to moan quite loudly, Naraku chuckled at the sound, he couldn’t wait to fill her with his seed. He wondered just how beautiful she would look carrying his children. 

“Taste me.” Naraku demanded of her suddenly. She glanced up at him and he pulled the part out of her before slamming it back in roughly, wiggling it ever so slightly. “Ah!” She breathed out and he moved his cock into her mouth. “Lick it, my little princess.” Her tongue moved around the tip tasting him and exploring the salty body part. His groans only made her bob her head slightly almost on instinct. “That’s it.” Naraku cooed. But then she froze as she felt her body start to form a knot deep in her with each wiggling movement inside her. Without much work from him she came against the strange part.

“Ah...” He smirked again down at her, quite cocky at how quick she was to cum. He pulled his part from her and pulled her mouth away from his cock. “Maybe we can explore that later.... I need in you.” He sat back and pulled her into his arms and lined her up with his cock. “You are going to look beautiful growing me seed, (Y/n)” He whispered before pushing her down onto his cock, impaling her deeply. She moaned and shivered still not quite over her first orgasm from earlier. She quivered and lost a bit of balance, only catching herself by holding onto his pecks and her face landed almost into the crook of his neck. His hands moved down to her ass spreading the cheeks slightly as he began pulling her up and down against him. She moaned against the skin of his neck before softly kissing it. This surprised Naraku at how gentle the kiss was but he continued to fuck her.

Her nails dug into his arms as he did so, Naraku sighed out at how she felt around him. Her hands moved to touch more of his chest, exploring his skin once again. “You feel so good” he grunted into her ear as he thrusted up into her body. Soft sounds of slapping skin echoed erotically in the dark room along with moans from the both of them. 

“Ah...” she whimpered again, moving to look at his face. He had a mix of pleasure and smugness in his expression as he slammed harder into her. “Do you like me inside you?” He spoke in a husky tone. 

She nodded.

“Say it.” he commanded.

“I like it.” 

“What do you like?” 

“You... inside me.” He smiled before slamming his hand down against her ass cheek. He pushed her down back onto her back, slamming his hips harder against her own at a new angle. “I’m going to fill you with my seed.” He huffed pushing into her harder and deeper. “You’re perfect for me, my little (Y/n).” he growled out. “So tight... so wet.” He hummed with each thrust. “Your cunt was made for me,” He expressed, his fingers ran up her hips and grabbing her breasts again, her head lulled back as she moaned for him. “N-Naraku...” She called his name. “It’s going to happen again.” 

“Go on then. Cum for me again, my little princess,” He stroked her nipple gently, speeding up in an almost inhuman way. A choking moan came from her mouth, cumming on him hard her body clenched around him just right causing Naraku to explode into her. He continued thrusting milking every bit of cum into her body before he crashed down on top of her exhausted form. 

“Naraku” A voice called from outside of the room, causing him to growl. 

“Kagura... what is it...” He grunted in annoyance, moving to pulled out of his newly claimed mate. 

“I have retrieved a new shard.” She moved to open the door, barely aware of the scene inside. He sighed moving to stand up, but not before examining the work he put into the woman under him. He grabbed his baboon pelt, placing it over the slightly confused woman before walking to the door, not ashamed of his own nudity. He opened the door half way and took the shard without a word then closed the door quickly before Kagura could speak again. “Leave you stupid woman” He said to his incarnation. “Can’t you tell I’m busy with my mate?” He hissed out. 

“Oh...” she said in surprise before leaving quickly. He looked at the small shard then at his woman. 

“Now... where were we?” She looked at him shocked. 

“Oh... I am not done with you yet, my little princess” he had a cruel grin on his lips as he came back to her.

[ipuckwithhockey]

I’d Rather Rescue Myself - Travis Konecny

a/n: Did I write this based on the Cheetah Girls hit, Cinderella? bc I did. no I didn’t. I don’t think this will surprise anyone but this is kind of angsty and dramatic, but I think it’s cute in the end. Let me know what you think :)

Warnings: Single mom, cursing, drinking, angst, a little bit of anxiety, I think that’s it

——

When I was just a little girl, my momma used to tuck me into bed

She read me a story

It always was about a Princess in distress and how a guy would save her 

End up with the glory

Your mom was a hopeless romantic. She fell hard and fast for the men that came in and out of her life. She wasn’t running around being reckless or anything, she just loved being in love. She loved the honeymoon phase and she loved the idea of finding her prince charming.  

Your dad left when you were just a baby, but your mom didn’t harbor on the loss. That was another thing about your mom— she was an undying optimist. She said that her relationship with your father wasn’t meant to be, and that her real prince charming was somewhere out there waiting to find her.

You actually believed all the elaborate bedtime stories she told you for a while. You thought you too would find your prince charming who would sweep you off your feet and rescue you from the harsh realities of your average Philadelphia life.

Your mom did eventually find Steve, a real-estate broker, that made her very happy. You liked Steve. He was nice and had a good job, and really did care for your mom. They’ve been married almost two years now, and you’ve never seen your mom happier. Maybe she was right, her prince charming was waiting out there for her, except he wasn’t in a castle or riding a horse into the sunset, he was just trying to decide which slice and bake cookies he should get for his open house. That’s how they met. In the freezer section of the grocery. Your mom helped him decide on one pack of sugar and one pack of chocolate chip, they exchanged numbers, and the rest is history.

Then one day I realized the fairy tale life wasn't for me

I don't wanna be like Cinderella

Sittin' in a dark old dusty cellar

Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free

You really tried to be optimistic. You would put yourself out there, go on dates, and even had a couple serious relationships throughout college. There was just one problem— they never worked out. You were always left heartbroken. So your senior year of college you decided that you had had enough. 

You were done feeling sorry for yourself. You were smart and driven and didn’t need a man to rescue you. You had a great internship that would hopefully turn into a job after graduation and you were the top of your class. You weren’t going to let another boy come in and distract you from your goals. So you swore off boys. It’s not that you didn’t want to find someone eventually, you just didn’t have the time or energy to bother with them now. This was time to focus on you.

That year you met Travis Konecny and his band of brothers from the Philadelphia Flyers. Your roommate, Katie, had hooked up with Joel Farabee a couple of times but they ultimately decided they were better off as just fiends. You and Travis became quick friends. You had a similar sense of humor and even though he was the worlds biggest, dumbest redneck, you had a soft spot for the kid. He was busy with hockey and didn’t have time for a relationship, and so he understood why you didn’t want one either. 

Soon started the movie nights and casual hang outs. You even started to teach him how to cook. You would admit that he was very handsome (when he showered and properly groomed himself), but you were just friends. It was never anything else. Neither of you wanted it to be anything else.

You both had had other hookups and occasionally a date, and you would laugh together over how bad they were afterward, saying “see, this is why i don’t need a relationship.”

That was almost two years ago. You did end up graduating at the top of your class, and the internship did turn into an amazing job. You worked hard and were hopefully in line for a big promotion at the end of the month.

You lived on your own now, but Katie just lived a block away. Shortly after her and Joel decided to remain friends she met Chris. He was a great guy and they recently moved in together.  You were really happy for Katie and all of your friends who had found great guys to settle down with. You were only 23 but it seemed like most of your friends had found their match, and you would be lying if you said it didn’t bother you.

It’s not that you wanted to get hitched and have a baby right this second, you were still very young, but the thought of having a caring boyfriend to come home to was something you just couldn’t get out of your head lately.

Someday, I'm gonna find someone who wants my soul, heart and mind

Who's not afraid to show that he loves me

Somebody who will understand I'm happy just the way I am

Don't need nobody taking care of me

Now you found yourself on Travis’ couch ranting about how all of your college friends were taking their boyfriends to Katie’s birthday party this weekend. Again, you were happy for them, you really were! But you didn’t want to be the only single one there. It was one thing to get a sad look from your mom when she asked you if you were seeing anyone, it was another thing to get sad looks from about a dozen of your friends. You knew they just wanted you to find someone who made you happy, but you hadn’t yet, and there wasn’t anything that could change that.

“I just wish I could find someone who wants me for me, you know? Someone who gets that my career is just as important as his, and who understands that when I say I don’t want anything to eat I actually do, I’m just too hard headed to admit it!” You were ranting on about the perfect guy, and all Travis could think was that he was that guy.

He would show up at your door out of the blue because he knew the “work’s been busy, just gonna go home and get some stuff done” reply to his hang out invitation actually meant “I’ve never been as stressed as I am right now, and haven’t eaten in 12 hours, and I could really use a hug.” He was always there for you, and you were always there for him. People didn’t always understand your relationship, and last year when Travis started dating a girl, she became so jealous of your friendship. Eventually, Travis ended it when she asked him to choose between her or you. There really wasn’t any contest. He would choose you every time. That was when he realized he had some serious feelings for you. Travis wasn’t good with feelings, and as much as he wanted to tell you he loved you, he didn’t want to mess with your friendship. It was too important to him, and up until recently you had been pretty dedicated to your no relationship lifestyle.

So instead of telling you how much he loved you and how he was the guy who valued your career and goals just as much as his own, he just offered to go with you to the party in question, “Well I’ll go with you. I like your friends, and then I’ll also get the sad looks because I too am single and lonely, so you won’t be alone.”

You laugh, Travis was right, you would probably have a good time if was there. You always have a good time when he’s around, and your friends like him too. They know you’re just friends but they never hesitate to give you a hard time about how you’ll end up together one day. You know he’s not into you like that, but that doesn’t stop you from wondering what it would be like to one day call him yours.

“Hello???? Is anyone home?” He’s waving his hands in front of you after you zoned out thinking about how great it would be to come home to him after a long day at work,

“Oh yeah, sorry, that would actually be great. You don’t have to, I know I’ve been annoying lately with all the work talk and complaining about relationshi-“

“Don’t worry about it. The party will be fun, we haven’t been out together in forever. And I know you’re stressed, even though you shouldn’t be. There’s no way you’re not getting that promotion. That doucheface, Jack is barely smart enough to do his current job, there’s no way they would give him the promotion over you.”

“His name is Jake, but yes he is a doucheface and even though I may be more qualified, he has been at the company longer than me so there’s a good chance he’ll get it just based on that.”

“You worry too much. You’re gonna get it, and we’re all gonna celebrate when you do.”

I can slay, my own dragon

I can dream, my own dreams

My knight in shining armor is me

So now it was Friday night, and you found yourself next to Travis in a crowded bar that Katie had picked for her birthday celebration. You had had the longest week known to man, and all you really wanted to do was sleep. But alas, you were here and trying to have a good time.

Travis had been great the whole night, socializing with your friends, make his stupid jokes, and getting you drinks. You really did appreciate him coming, but something just felt off. He has always been a touchy guy but it seemed like he had his arm around you more than usual tonight, and when he talked to your friends he would say “we” when referring to the two of you. It felt too domestic, and if felt too claustrophobic.

Even his praises when the group asked about your work annoyed you. You didn’t know if you were just on edge from work or if Travis’ overstepping was really getting to you.

You needed a minute to yourself so excused yourself to get another drink.

“Sit down, I got it,” Travis stands to get you another drink, and that’s when you start to lose it. In the back of your mind you know he’s just being nice, but you’re already seeing red and nothing can stop you now.

“I am perfectly capable of getting my own drink, and I really don’t need a man to babysit me all night, so you can sit down, and I’ll get it for myself.”

You turn and head for the door of the bar, not caring that your friends, and Travis, are all staring at you completely taken aback by what just came flying out of your mouth.  You make it outside, needing a minute in the cold winter air, before Travis catches up to you.

“What the hell is going on? Did I do something?”

“Travis. I really appreciate you trying to ‘take care of me’ of whatever it is you’re trying to do, but I can take care of myself. I’ve been doing it a long time, there’s no reason why I can’t continue to do so.”

You’re being mean now. You know it, but it’s not stopping you. You can’t help but push him away because it feels easier to just deny the feelings you know you have. The hurt in Travis’ eyes almost makes you take it all back, but you know that if you push him enough he’ll be just as stubborn and mad as you, and then you can fight it out instead of actually talking about what’s going on. So you continue, knowing that what you’re going to say will just piss him off,

“You’re not my boyfriend, and I didn’t ask you to act like it. If you want a girl to parade around in front of people, go find someone else, because I’m not your girl. You just need to back off, ok?”

“I’m not trying to control you, or ‘parade you around’ I have no clue why you think I’d even want that,” He puts up big air quotes when he throws your words back at you,

“I just know how stressed you are and how you don’t ever see your friends because your whole life is your fucking job. I just wanted to make this night fun and relaxing for you. And I’m sorry if I’m proud of you for being so successful, but did it ever occur to you that maybe I am the guy?  The guy who wants you for you. The guy who respects your career just as much as his own. The guy who knows that even though you’re standing here pissed as hell, it’s only because you  know you have feelings for me too?”

He’s practically yelling and a couple people have definitely taken notice. And maybe he’s right, but your hard head and stubbornness would never let you admit it, so you just decide to walk away.

You leave him standing there outside of a bar that still holds all of your closest friends, and you know that you may have just thrown away your prince charming, but you can’t go back. It would be too much, so you walk home and cry yourself to sleep that night.

I will be there for him just as strong as he, will be there for me

When I give myself then it has got to be, an equal thing

I don't wanna be like Cinderella

Sittin' in a dark old dusty cellar

Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free

You got the promotion. You got it and the only person you wanted to tell was Travis. It’s been weeks since that night you left him outside the bar. He texted and called a few times, eventually he stopped. You thought he might show up at your place but he never did. You tried to be mad at him. You tried to blame him for your friendship falling apart. You also knew that he was right. About everything.

You thought back to all the times you had been there for each other. You thought back to all of the long talks on the phone while he was away for the summers, every time he hyped you up before a big presentation at work, and all the times you waited at his door after what you knew had been a tough game.

You always had each others backs. You didn’t have to ask for it, you just knew that when you fell, the other one would be there to pick you up. You didn’t have to guess. You always knew what he was feeling and you knew how to fix it. He was the same way with you. And yet, you still couldn’t bring yourself to just pick up the phone and call. Maybe it was because you knew he would be on the other end waiting to take you back in the blink of an eye. You knew he’d forgive you for everything and you knew he would love you forever, but you were still scared to admit that maybe you did need him. You felt like it would be an admission of failure that you couldn’t do this on your own.

You didn’t need him to take care of you or to slay a dragon to save you, you just needed HIM.  You needed his companionship, his love, and his affection, all of the things that he was so willing to give you, but that you still couldn’t accept.

I don't wanna be like Snow White 

waiting for a handsome prince 

to come and save me on a horse of white

Unless we're riding side by side

It’s been over a month now, and you haven’t so much as spoken a word to Travis. You had filled Katie in the day after her party, apologizing for leaving without saying goodbye. She tried to comfort you, but you didn’t want to talk about it. You were going to be fine without him. He was just a friend after all. But now Katie was getting fed up. She was tired of watching you mope around town acting like everything was fine, when she knew damn well that you were just too stubborn to admit that you loved Travis too.

“Ok. You seriously need to suck it up buttercup.” Katie came full force through the threshold of your apartment with two bottles of wine and a bag of take out. You were all for a girls night, but you were right when you had concerns of it turning into a “lets talk about your feelings night.”

“You’re losing it. Like I love you, but as your friend I can no longer support this moping around.”

“I have told you over and over again, that I am fine. I got my promotion and I’m doing great at work!” You try to convince her that you’re doing ok, and that you don’t read every shitty article written about the flyers as an attempt to satisfy your Travis craves.

“If you’re oh so fine, then why do you still watch every flyers game? Why are you drinking his favorite wine all the time? And why the fuck are you wearing his clothes???”

You didn’t even remember that you had put on an old hoodie of his this morning until just now. He used to let you borrow the old 67’s hoodie when you were at his place, eventually you just took it home with you, and it’s been your favorite ever since. You wore it now more than ever, but would never admit it was because you missed him.

“It’s just comfortable ok?” But you knew she wasn’t buying it, you knew you were going to have to talk about it at some point.

“...I just feel like if I admit that I need him, it would be like admitting that I can’t take care of myself, that I can’t do this on my own.”

“Babe, it’s not about needing someone to take care of you, it’s just about loving someone and letting them love you back. Travis of all people knows that you are perfectly capable of fending for yourself. I think that’s probably something he loves about you. He knows you. And I know for a fact that he’s waiting for you.”

“And how do you know that?”

“Because he calls me…”

“Wh-what?” Why would Travis bother to call Katie?

“Because he’s worried about you, but he knows that if he suffocates you, you’ll just keep pushing him away. He’s called me regularly for a few weeks now. He just wants to know how you are... But he didn’t want me to tell you because he didn’t want you to feel like he was going behind your back. He loves you. And he’s just waiting for you to come back to him. He’s an idiot, but somehow he’s managed to figure you out.”

He loves you. Travis loves you.

You love him.

You love each other.

He never wanted to take anything from you. 

He just wanted your love.

He wanted to give you his love.

It’s like you’re discovering words for the first time, and you know you that you can’t just let this go. You know that you don’t want to keep living your life if you’re not sharing it with him, side by side.

You look over at Katie who knows you’re finally coming to terms with all of this,

“I think I have to go”

“Go get him babe!”

You order an uber and grab your shoes before heading out the door.  The ride to Travis’ has never felt longer. You start to question yourself but it’s too late, you know what you have to do. You walk into his building and make your way up to his floor on the elevator. You pace back and forth for a while outside of his apartment, but you tell yourself it’s now or never, and knock on the door. It’s not even 20 seconds later that he’s opening the door,

“Hey, I knew you’d come back.”

For some reason you thought he might still be mad, and he might just slam the door in your face or yell at you, but he’s not. He’s smiling and is reaching out to pull you into his apartment and into a hug. You let him and it’s like you’ve never felt more relief. The weight of the past month is instantly lifted. You feel like you can breathe again. And then the tears start to fall.

“Hey, don’t cry. It’s ok.” He’s consoling you and you’ve never felt worse. He was always right there and you just about threw it all away because you were too stubborn. You both muster out some sorry’s and you’re not even sure how long you’ve been standing there in each others arms. You’re perfectly content just staying there, but eventually he pulls back to look at you.

He wipes away at your tear stained face and looks you right in the eyes,

“I love you. And I never ever want to make you feel like you’re anything less than the amazing, strong, smart, beautiful, independent woman that you are... I just want you to let me love you.”

“Okay... but only on one condition…”

Travis just looks questionably back at you,

“That you let me love you back”

Travis doesn’t even bother with words, because he knows the only thing left to do is kiss you. So he leans into you, and you lean into him, and it’s like everything in the world is right again. Riding into the sunset may have been a fairytale, but true loves kiss was definitely a reality. You were right too, you didn’t need a prince to save you, you needed to save yourself. It just turned out that saving yourself was letting the man of your dreams love you back.

[daydream-believin]

The Never Ending Roadtrip (tie the knot)

summary: (part 1) / (part 8)  fem!reader joins Douxie on his quest for Nari’s safety, he’ll need company wont he? PART 7) two weddings in one day for our lovely wizard couple.

warning: swearing, maybe? prolly tho, alcohol, the us government

word count: 3149

a/n: the target audience here is def me. ahahjdd i hurt myself writing this, bon appetit

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Y/n let her eyes wander through the strange place. She supposed this was a pawn shop of sorts, but not one a mortal would patron. Or even know about. She wasn’t entirely sure how she got there herself. This was technically a basement. Grungy, yet somehow fancy? There was sand on the floor, and a giant floor to ceiling glass pane that made up an entire wall, letting patrons know they were in the bottom of the river Cohansey. Which would be beautiful, had this not been New Jersey. The water was murky, trash floating by with the occasional fish. Big, slimy green fish that looked like they could swallow an old lady’s chihuahua. Or maybe a toddler. There were shelves and shelves of either the shittiest junk you ever saw or things that looked like they belonged in an Egyptian tomb. Best not to touch anything. Y/n couldn’t clearly remember the entrance to this place, or entering, but that must have been a part of the concealment magic in place.

Douxie wasn’t kidding when he said they’d sign the papers tomorrow. He found himself acting fast, in case she changed her mind. She wouldn’t, of course. But just in case. While it would seem rushed to any outsiders, it didn’t feel so to him. Might as well have taken an eternity. A millennium. He had known her for years, was her best friend for years, he knew everything about her. She knew everything about him. It became much more apparent when suddenly she had the skill to do nothing but look at him and know something was amiss. Despite his best poker face he’d developed over the centuries, capable of fooling even the most observant of company. Not her. He had hoped she felt as strongly towards him as he her. He still had his insecurities and doubts, even if these rings could prove it.

He paid no mind to the big slimy green fish that flashed their large teeth to patrons. Douxie dug through the box of loose rings, looking for something specific, surely. Different enchantments, different curses, different styles, he needed to find the perfect pair. The sound of metal clattering was starting to become grating to the other patrons of the pawn shop. It was way too early for such clanging. Sure, it was afternoon, but still. Douxie had already found one for him, he just needed to dig around a little bit longer to find one for Y/n. He had already found several that could work, a bronze one shaped like tree branches around an emerald stone, a dainty silver braided band to bind, and an amethyst solitaire with calming qualities. None of these were right. Perhaps settling wouldn- Eureka, there it was. A nice gold band, the mate to the silver toned one for him, engraved with the matching runes, protection for them as they were together.

Douxie happily purchased the rings from the man behind the glass counter, to the relief of the other patrons. He found Y/n locked in a staring contest with one of those toothy fish. He pulled her away, assuring her that Fish don’t have eyelids, Love. Strange, she could have sworn that one did. He opened his palm, showing her the rings. She squealed, to the annoyance of the other patrons. They needed to get out of her before someone kicked them out.

They didn’t have to spend anything on dress/tux rentals, all thanks to Hisirdoux brand magic clothes. Y/n did manage to squeeze Archie into a little bowtie, much to the dragon-cat’s dismay. Y/n made sure to get a snapshot of it for archie_the_emo_kitty. Unlike Archibald, Nari was more than willing to boast formal wear. With all those wedding dresses she’d looked at with Y/n in mind, she begged Douxie to give her a little poufy green dress. Doux snuck in some smoky quartz as beading. Just a little extra protection never hurts. She was a very happy forest child, and spent a lot of time spinning around and around, fascinated by how the fabric flounced. She was very eager to do her part once Y/n explained to her what a flower girl was. Nari was going to be the best girl of flowers. Flowers grew from her hair.

The bowtie wrestled around Archie’s little neck matched the one around Douxie’s. Archie was technically the best man, of course. Some might think having a cat as your best man a bit sad, but there was no truer friend than Archie. And while Archie made them believe he was disgruntled at his state, this was only to preserve his pride. He would do anything if to make his brother, his familiar, smile. Even wearing a stupid blue bowtie and standing next to him during some sort of ceremony. Archie had to admit, he was surprised. Well, not surprised about them marrying, just that it was happening so soon. He knew his wizard’s heart could get ahead of him sometimes, so what was really surprising was learning that miss L/n proposed it. Perhaps those two were more alike than he knew.

Douxie looked really good in his suit, Y/n thought. Of course, anyone looks good in one, but Douxie looked extra good. Very handsome. It wasn’t a tuxedo, but he still opted for black with a little blue embroidery, and of course the blue bowtie. Very classic Douxie. Y/n wouldn’t have it any other way. He tried slicking back his hair but Y/n stopped him. No need to hide that perfect fringe, thank you. She braided a few of the strands down the side of it but not enough to obstruct it. There, that was good enough. Different but still the classic Douxie look. He laughed as she fussed with it. Some wildflowers he and Y/n picked earlier that morning were pinned to his lapel.

Y/n held a bunch of the same wildflowers in her hands. Not exactly a bouquet, but enough. She and Doux had woven some of them into crowns for each other to wear, respectively, for the day. It was a trollish tradition she thought was adorable. Picking the flowers together, weaving them into headpieces for the other to wear, a sort of unity thing. How beautiful.

Y/n actually made her own dress without Douxie’s help, as seeing the bride in her dress before the wedding was bad luck, after all. Douxie had taught her the spell, and she had been practicing an awful lot. It wasn’t perfect, but it did turn out to be exactly what she wanted. Y/n ran her hands down her sides, Not too frilly, not too sexy. Soft, sweet and romantic. And her. It looked like her. She hoped Doux would like it. He did.

She left her hair down. Douxie had made a comment once, way back when, that he thought it looked beautiful loose. She hadn’t meant for him to see it then. Douxie liking it was hard for fathom, considering her aunt had drilled into her head that loose hair was for loose minds, silly people not to be taken seriously. One’s hair should only be down when bathing or changing, especially not around others. In a way, leaving her hair loose like this was an expression of intimacy.

While they went to sign the papers officially in the eyes of the US government, the real wedding was out in the forest, with the trolls. Still, they figured they should tie their legal identities together, it’s not like a troll can actually officiate. Despite their legal identities being temporary and they would definitely have to forge new documents in half a century, they needed this for taxes and all that jazz. Y/n was going to make Douxie combine their bank accounts eventually. An efficient end to their ‘no, let me pay’ fights. But now wasn’t the time for finances. This was about love. And despite this not being the real wedding, Y/n still felt giddy.

The air in the courthouse smelled like dust and tobacco, and it felt like vague memories of confusion and bureaucracy. Strange memories, yet somehow nostalgic. At first the employees weren’t going to let Archie into the building, but once Douxie picked him up and showed him off, explaining that he was the best man, they couldn’t help but let him and his little bowtie in. That’s the thing about being cute, you often get away with murder.

Standing in front of the judge was daunting, even though Douxie knew he did nothing wrong. This time. He was just here to sign that marriage license. What a wonderful piece of paper, covered in calligraphy, stating that he legally belonged to Y/n and Y/n legally belonged to him. Such a fragile thing, in his hands. He would preserve it. Save it for centuries. The witness was a stranger, but that didn’t matter. Archie was the real witness, but alas cats have no power in court. Y/n blushed under Douxie’s gaze as they signed their names to the document. She looked ethereal in that dress, with the flowers in her hair. Even thought they were in a stuffy courtroom with people paying for traffic tickets, she was a goddess, standing here next to him, signing her soul to him. He would return the gesture with his whole chest. And he did.

They slipped the rings onto each other’s fingers, and it was done. Douxie looked back into Y/n’s eyes. His wife’s eyes. His heart may have stopped with that thought. His wife’s eyes.

Y/n was vibrating with energy as they left the courthouse. It was infectious, and soon Douxie was bouncing on his toes too. They couldn’t help but keep smiling. This was just the beginning. Time for the ceremony. Well, at least neither of them had to worry about cold feet. Y/n squeezed Douxie’s hand three times as they set off for the forest. He returned the gesture, kissing the top of her head for good measure.

Once they arrived at the shaded area the trolls had gathered in, Y/n sucked in a breath. It was just, so lovely. They were sitting in a circle, the center being where the wedding couple were to stand. Wildflowers decorated the ground. Nari had made sure they were arranged nicely. While Y/n didn’t know all of these trolls, she was delighted that most of her old pals were here. A few weren’t, but only because they hadn’t made it through the eternal night a few months ago. Surely their spirits were here. The atmosphere felt too much like love and support for them to not be. One of the trolls was strumming a lute of some sort. There was a baby troll who looked like they must have been carried here while they were napping and was now bewildered as to what was going on. Douxie may not know many of the trolls himself, but their presence felt right. And it made Y/n happy. A perfectly good reason for anything nowadays.

Y/n hooked her arm through Douxie’s as he led her to the center of the circle. The gentle lute music played as they kneeled, ready to begin. The music stopped and the officiant started. The officiant was an older troll, who could’ve rivaled Vendel in terms of ancientness. Neither Douxie nor Y/n payed him much attention, locked in each other’s gazes as he read off the sacred trollish wedding texts. A breeze blew through, blowing their hair, and a strand stayed in Y/n’s eyes even after it stopped. Douxie gently brushed it away, and was so caught up in the tender action he almost missed the officiant ask him to join his hand with Y/n’s.

“We are gathered here to witness the binding of two souls. Do you, Hisirdoux Casperan, and you, Y/n L/n, come here of your own free will, to be bound to each other in life and love for the rest of eternity?”

“Aye” Douxie and Y/n offered in unison.

“Then it shall be done.” The officiant tied the handfasting ribbon around their joined hands. A golden light shone through the ribbon, a little bit of magic.

Douxie placed his free hand under Y/n’s jaw. “You are the blood of my blood and the bone of my bone. I give you my body, and I give you my spirit. May you always drink from my cup. May I always be by your side through life and though that which comes after.” I will protect you always My Love.

Y/n was somehow able to catch her breath long enough to repeat the words back to him. “You are the blood of my blood and the bone of my bone. I give you my body, and I give you my spirit. May you always drink from my cup. May I always be by your side through life and though that which comes after.” You’ll never be lonely again Dewdrop.

“May the union now be sealed” Douxie and Y/n took this as a ‘you may now kiss the bride’ as trolls don’t kiss. Y/n was pretty sure trolls touched foreheads instead, as she’d seen Blinky and Arrgh do that often. She did as such to Douxie before kissing him. It slightly confused him, but he still recognized the affection.

There was no one there but them. Douxie deepened the kiss, melting into his beloved, his wife. Y/n matched it with fervor, but pulled away just as fast, almost making him whine. He opened his eyes, getting ready to pout, but was knocked back into remembering where he was. Oh, yeah, there actually were other people. His bad.

As the sun went down and the reception started, many trolls said many things and yet Douxie had no idea what was being said. He found it very hard to focus on anything that was not Y/n in this moment. A celebration was being had, yet the only important thing was the hand clasped in his and the cool feeling of metal he would soon get used to. He couldn’t wait to get used to it, as if it were nothing but a part of his skin. He could vaguely make out what song the lute troll was currently playing, one that reminded him of his younger years, and boy, did he feel young next to Y/n.

He led her into a dance, as this was a song perfect for dancing, of course. Y/n laughed. She hadn’t expected their first dance to start so soon. The light of the setting sun cast an orange glow as they flitted around joyously. At the end of the song, Douxie lifted Y/n and spun her around. A few nearby trolls, already drunk on bright green grog, raised their mugs and gave a cheer. A toast, one supposes. Y/n giggled at how quickly Douxie put her down after that, face flushed.

The red, orange, and yellow leaves of the trees around them seemed to be amplified by the sunset. It was one of the most beautiful things Y/n had seen, and perfect ambience for the best day of her life. The sound of the lute songs, birds chirping, and trolls chattering was the sound track. She’d play it on repeat if she could. She could feel Douxie’s shoulder brushing hers, and smell the comforting scent of cloves that clung to him. With every peck she could taste the red wine on his lips.

Now that the sun had gone down, magic candles were lit throughout, lighting the festivities. The trolls took this as the signal to bring out the food and start the feast. And feast they did. Nari was very interested in their food, and while Y/n wasn’t very positive she should let the veggie lady eat half of whatever this stuff was, Y/n didn’t care to police her this day. Nari can suffer the consequences of her curiosity for once. Y/n was too busy being wrapped up in Doux.

There was a very tall cake, resting on a flat rock. Must be one of Jim’s recipes he taught them while he was with them. Or it was a traditional troll recipe. No matter, wizard digestive systems are pretty strong and stranger things had been eaten. It was decorated beautifully, with the wildflowers and florets of what was either icing or plaster. Either way it would be delicious, whether it be made with flour and spices or gypsum and cat blood. Whatever it was, it smelled heavenly as Y/n smashed it into Douxie’s pretty face.

He should have been expecting that. He had hoped she’d be sweet and gently feed him but he supposed the temptation was too great for his mischievous bride. A cheshire cat grin replaced his adoring expression as he grabbed a glob himself and smeared it across her features in retaliation. Y/n burst out laughing, grabbing him by the collar to kiss him and get them even more messy. Douxie’s lips tasted sweet, so it must be one of Jim’s icing recipes. Archie was glad he over by the rock and not next to them, in the splatter zone.

The dancing lasted all night. The candles, the full moon, and the stars cast a romantic glow to the celebration. The full moon was the perfect moon, a blessing for their big day. Douxie was very thankful for lute troll, this is exactly what he pictured his wedding sounding like when he was a boy. He twirled Y/n around effortlessly and endlessly, he wasn’t sure he’d ever tire of this. Her soft hands in his, he absolutely knew he’d never tire of. The trolls taught them a few of their traditional dances too, Y/n seemed to really have fun with those. At one point, Y/n danced with Nari, a cheerful little ditty, and Douxie thought it was the new most adorable thing he’s ever seen. It was cuteness overload, he may have to go sit down for a bit and let his heart catch up with him. However, It wasn’t long before Y/n pulled him back onto the dance floor once again.

After the feast was devoured, conversation lulled, and the music faded, the trolls packed up and headed back to trollmarket. The light of the candles was getting dim. Still, Douxie and Y/n stayed, swaying in each other’s arms. The music may have left, but they didn’t need it. They hummed to each other as Douxie leaned over to Y/n’s ear, to sing her a song he had written for her, not too long ago. She could feel his breath on the shell of her ear as he whispered the words meant just for her. Y/n let her eyes slip closed as this man, her husband, sang his heart to her in this private moment. She wished she had a poem prepared for him. Sure, she’d written plenty, but none of the words seemed quite strong enough anymore.

[tatyana-dreaming]

Eugene Onegin: Finale Analysis

*apologies in advance for a LONG POST! any TYPOS! and also that the Russian has been latinized (is that what we say?)*

I have often read opinions and observations about the finale of Eugene Onegin along the lines of “there’s no new theme;” it’s “not as intense as the Letter scene;” it’s “anticlimactic...” etc. (those last two comments are found in Eugene Onegin: The Opera Lively Guide by Luiz Gazzola).

Clearly, these are just opinions and I’m not here to disprove anything... but I am here to retaliate with a whole lot of love for this particular 14 minutes of music so buckle up :) I’m going to try to mainly be objective here and just offer my observations/analysis. Maybe you’ll find some newfound appreciation along the way...and please pitch in if you have your own comments or have noticed things I haven’t necessarily picked up on!

Before we start, you may want to pull a recording of the finale (this one is my favorite of course), and potentially your favorite CD/recording of Eugene Onegin, if you want to listen along and compare. If I had more time and skills I would have done this for you in a video or added trimmed audio bits throughout this post but alas. Maybe one day! For now, enjoy these screencaps from the 2007 Carsen production at the Met with Fleming and Hvorostovsky.

1. Gazzola points this out in his book - and thank goodness, because I’m not sure I would have made the connection myself. The final scene opens with a motif that is more or less a repetition of Gremin’s theme (in rhythm, at the very least), “Lyubvi Vsye Rozrasti Pokorni/Love conquers all ages,’” foreshadowing Tatyana’s decision/steadfastness to the mature, stable love or contement, or whatever we want to call this - we can have an analysis of ‘love’ in Eugene Onegin in another post! Already I’m thinking back to the opening of the opera when Larina and Filipyevna sing in unison “Privichka svishe name dana, zamyena shchastiyu ona / Habit is sent us from above in place of happiness.” Tatyana’s mother used to read and dream like Tayana herself and was even in love, but eventually had to marry someone else and “became resigned and settled down.”

And as @lizlensky​ recently reminded me, of course Filipyevna did not get to marry for love either, not that Tatyana was really listening to her story. In fact, maybe I’m looking far into deeply, but it seems to me the strings underneath this “Gremin motif” at the opening of the finale and also when Tatyana eventually sings to that tune “Onegin, ya togda molozhe/Onegin, I was younger then”  are also mimicking the strings underneath Filipyevna when she sings the morning after the Letter Scene, explaining how her mind is getting older and reflecting upon her youth (I’m generalizing a bit - Tatyana certainly isn’t complaining about having an old brain but she is thinking of the past). Make of that what you will! But it gave me chills.

2. Oh no, I’m already getting ahead of myself though. Before Onegin even comes on the scene, we also hear what some call the “Fate motif” but what I prefer to call the “Dream motif” (if it is fate, why does it follow Tatyana all over dreamy Act I but disappears except for this tiny reminiscence? But of course, up for discussion as it’s the prelude/introduction to the opera, and it comes back when Yevgeni does, haunting her like a ghost, which I suppose is fate-y). Here it is again when Tatyana sings “Kak budto snova dyevochkoi ya stala/It’s as if I’m a young girl again” - which is then followed by what I might personally call the fate theme, since it foreshadows the anguish Tatyana will face when she is rejected in Act I, and before she rejects Onegin in Act III.

This is where I wish I had an audio clip but I think you know what I mean; it’s the really dramatic climax that comes right when Tatyana enters the stage in Scene 3 of Act III (before “Zdyez on, zdyes on, Yevgeni!”) and right before Onegin comes onstage in Act III, Scene 2. Or ha, maybe this is just “Onegin’s Arrival Theme” since there’s a similar kind of orchestral panic before he arrives in Act I (though of course, not in Scene 1 of Act III since it is Tatyana who enters rather than Onegin who was in the room already, at least in the productions I’ve seen.)

3. Okay, so now Onegin’s here, what does he have to say for himself? We hear a bit of the Onegin aria theme -  “Mechtam i godom nyet vazvrata, nye obnovlyu dushi moyei/Dreams and years cannot return, I cannot renew my soul!” as he (in some versions) falls to Tatyana’s feet, exclaiming “O, szhaltes, szhaltes nado mnoyu!/ Have mercy on me!”  Clearly has some srs regerts. But also perhaps Tchaikovsky foreshadowing what is to come... not only that we shouldn’t expect Tatyana to act with any less honor (or prudence/reason) towards Onegin as he did towards her in Act I, and that indeed she sings “proshlogo nye vorotit/you cannot bring back the past.”  I know I’m grinding a lot out of this particular moment, but... would you expect anything less from me? Or (thinks of Petya) HIM? :)

4. As Tatyana reminds Onegin how he rejected her and begins to question why he is suddenly in love with her now, we get to revisit some of the music from the Letter Scene - at least in the orchestra. Tatyana’s line differs slightly than her original melody in the Letter Scene when she sings “Togda, nye pravda li pustine, vdali ot suyetnoi molvi/There in that backwater, far from vain society” - and just so, as it is far from its dreamy, romantic parallel in her letter - “Y v eto samoye mgnovyenye ne ti li, miloye vidyenye/And in that very moment, wasn’t it you, beloved vision [...who whispered to me words of hope].” I find this throwback incredibly clever and gutwrenching, as I believe it’s clearly a bitter and ironic jab at the hope that Onegin crushed, even honorably as he did, and now the two of them have changed positions. Whose dreamy hopes (which are... questionable at best at the moment) are getting schooled now? Cmon’ Onegin, “learn to control yourself....”

5. Let me take a moment to admit and agree with many analyses/critics (although Tchaikovsky knows what he is doing, convince me otherwise) that Onegin is pretty fragmented and lacks a coherent theme, and certainly has no original “love theme” of his own to offer Tatyana  - after all, Onegin as a character, especially in the book, is pretty hollow, someone who isn’t so much a “self’ as a person who knows how to go through the motions of life... He’s intelligent but not creative, full of potential but lacking any real direction. (Ohhh I am going to cry because that’s so sad but also so relatable, but crying is coming up next so I’ll hold off). The opposite of Lensky’s “poet spirit” that lives life romantically, and is in love with life itself, seeing the infinite everywhere rather than seeing life so pessmistically (with the mask of pragmatism/”maturity”) as Onegin does, a mask that keeps Onegin from truly engaging with life or his own sense of self.

So as Onegin sings, we hear that lack of originality, though I will pull a Valery Gergiev here and say one “cannot be impartial” to Onegin’s music here (*clutches chest - that’s Tchaikovsky, even though I think it’s clear Onegin is not his fav) - Onegin may not be original, but there is no less truth or heartfelt emotion in what comes through. Luckily, Tatyana knows that it’s still not a good choice... he’s still not very substantial, at best, and at worst truly is only infatuated with her because of her reputation. It would mean ruin for her either way so :( (read: Anna Karenina) (here are some sad Onegin pictures just for fun because it’s all been Tatyana mainly but also: sorry this is Tatyana’s big moment so)

6. Time for tears! Do you hear a familiar theme when Tatyana sings “Ya plachu/I’m weeping?” It’s Lensky’s aria theme making a comeback- what!??! And particularly, the same melody as these two phrases, when Lensky sings: “Shto dyen gradushchi mnye gotovit/What does this day hold for me?” and perhaps more salient to this moment: “Pridyosh li, dveya krasoti, slezu prolit nad rannei urmoi/ Will you come, maiden, to shed a tear over my untimely urn?” Ahhh, I see what you did there, Petya.

But wait, Onegin hates crying! This isn’t explicitly in the opera of course, but Onegin in the novel all but tells Tatyana that her tears (as he rejects her) only vex him - another reason marriage would be a torment for them (not a bad reason and look, we always respected his honesty, right?). But now? I think it’s a crucial moment; it shows there has indeed been some development on Onegin’s part and uh oh, he’s actually in love (ironically in a very Lensky - that is, poetic - way)  even if it’s not for the best of reasons.

7. Fun (pain) pact: “Tak blizhko! [happiness was] so close!” is the only time Onegin and Tatyana sing together or are on the same page, so to say. Nice. (*cries*) The only other times people sing completely lined up together like this in this opera, choruses aside, are when:

Larina and Filipyevna sing “Privichka svishe name dana, zamyena shchastiyu ona /Habit is sent to us from above in place of happiness”  in the opening scene

Onegin and Lensky sing “Nye zasmeyatsa l nam, poka ne obagrilasa ruka, ne razoitis li polyubovno? Nyet... /Shouldn’t we burst out laughing, rather than staining our hands with blood, shouldn’t we part as friends? No...”  before the duel

Moments of truth. And mostly pain. :) Again, please chime in if there are others, I’m sure I’ve missed something.

8. Time for Tatyana to refuse! This is where I completely disagree that there is “no new major theme” in the Finale; Tatyana’s “rejection theme” holds its own in my books. Interestingly, it’s in D-flat major, just like the main themes in her Letter Scene (”Puskai pogibnu ya/Let me perish,” and “Kto ti? Moi angel/ Who are you? my [guardian] angel..” aka the descending/Russian 6th theme). Tatyana is just as earnest/decided/resigned* (yes, all three of those adjectives) in her decision in the finale as in the Letter Scene, so maybe that has something to do with it. (I always remember her words in the Letter scene: “Uvi, nye v silakh ya vladyet svoyei dushoi!/Alas, I am unable to subdue my soul!” but just like Onegin learning to be endeared by tears - she has indeed learned to subdue her soul, or perhaps she has simply matured and her priorities have changed. (And of course, who lectured her to subdue her soul in the first place, even though he meant well? Yours truly!)

*resigned might seem an interesting way to describe the Letter Scene, but don’t forget “No, tak i bit! Sudbo moyu otnine ya tebye vruchayu/So be it. Henceforth my fate belongs to you....”  I tend to interpret that as Tatyana actually taking her fate into her own hands and deciding to go all in with her decision, despite the words that seem to make her position passive. In the finale, she is ‘resigned’ in a similarly active manner - this is not a passive resignation. But I still would use the term resigned, if only to draw the parallel between Tatyana and her mother....  “I became resigned and settled down.”  And so she has, even if she has to struggle to push Onegin away from the settled life she has, loving him all the same.

And in comes some of my favorite music of all time - Onegin’s desperate, even malicious pleas and a good dose of mansplaining how Tatyana “can’t” abandon him, quoting back her letter. Extra ouch, because do you remember in Tatyana’s letter when she tells Onegin if he has any pity, “vi nye ostavite menya/you won’t abandon me.” And what does she have to beg him to do over and over until she finally runs offstage? “Ostav menya!/Leave me!” heheheheh *laugh-cries*  everything is fine.

9. And we’ve nearly reached the very end. Almost a year into listening to this particular piece of music and I only recently realized what was going on - yeah, I know. When things get really heated at the end and pain reaches a maximum, Tatyana sings “Gluboko v syerdsta pronikayet, yevo otchayanni priziv no, pil prestupni podaviv/His anguished cries penetrate my heart, but the fire of passion has been extinguished” (well, I’m still not quite sure on the ‘correct’ English translation but it doesn’t sound good for Yevgeni regardless...)

That melody in that last line calls us back to its twin sister at the end of Scene 1 in Act I when Onegin is talking about how bored he was with his uncle, waiting for him to die. So a) I hear this as Tatyana “ending things once and for all” (parallels between the death of Onegin’s uncle, and the death of their relationship), as well as possibly (again I read 10,000% too much into things) b) Tatyana realizing that Onegin’s words to her back in the garden were true - habit [routine] would kill their love; they would become bored (or at least he would). The passion would burn out.

Which brings us back to c) heaven sends us habit in place of happiness [=passion?]- which, OH, RIGHT, OF COURSE has the same rhythm of the aforementioned “boredom” theme and “the fire of passion has been extinguished.” But you all probably already realized that because oF COURSE.. that’s how the opera OPENS... and now how it is CLOSING... AHHHH!!!

I know I’m not original or anything for realizing that parallel, but yeah. I’m pretty happy about it.

Tchaikovsky is absolutely genius. Unbelievable. And paired with Pushkin? I’m not surprised I’ve clearly lost my mind over this masterpiece.

Anyways, this was an extremely long post but I hope you enjoyed it immensely, especially if you read this far!! Please chime in with your own comments! I LOVE THIS PIECE OF MUSIC!

[dolliedarlin]

hi! how have you been? how’s school? have you taken your exams yet?

im really sorry i’ve been so absent lately. things have been quite hectic lately. i’m currently finishing my exam week and after tomorrow i will finally be done and on christmas break. i’ve been extremely stressed with school lately and am welcoming this break with open arms.

not only has school been stressing me out lately but my anxiety has gotten kind of bad again. while i love christmas and december in general, my anxiety is always high this time of year for some reason. i’ve been on an overthinking track once again so i’m hoping that with break i will have something to help ease my nerves again.

as for the person i have feelings for, i have decided it’s time for me to move on. they are happy with someone else and i would never want to get in the middle of that. i still want to be their friend but there’s a lot of distance between us and we don’t really talk anymore, so i’m feeling like maybe it’s time to let them go once and for all.

a highlight is my birthday being on saturday!! i will be turning 19 and im looking forward to something positive at the end of my week :)

im hoping with break i’ll be able to finish my christmas shopping as i have two more friends to go and then i just need to wrap everyone’s gifts. i’m also hoping to do some cleaning and just maybe take some time to relax as i really haven’t had a chance.

im really hoping you’ve been doing well lately and i can’t wait to hear back from you :) i’ve missed you a lot and i feel terrible that i’ve just now gotten back to you.

all the love <3

hello, my love! it's so nice to hear from you again! i was actually just about to sneak on over to your inbox and ask you myself but, alas~ you've beaten me to it XD

it's currently my well-being week this week (it just started) so i'm pretty excited to relax and settle down again after being sick and having to keep up with on-going content and practicals. nevertheless, your girl made it through yet another rough month or so of work and is ready to relax (and also write~) for the holidays!

today was my first day off and i spent it catching up with a childhood friend of mine who i hadn't spoken to in years, it was really lovely seeing her again and getting to catch each other up on life. it was a real blast-from-the-past experience and i can't wait to set up another cute cafe date with her again soon! oh! i also found out that she does something similar to my course so i believe a couple of study sessions are in order, which i am so excited for! :D

goodness, i don't have exams until january but i do have a formative/mock exam to do and practice on but i'm really not ready for them - I'm so happy to know that you're finally getting to have a break though, it's well deserved! you've worked hard and definitely need so time to relax

oh, my love, i'm sorry to hear that but hey, i agree with you, despite christmas being a lovely holiday of giving and being with loved ones, the expectations of everyone to either have a gift, show up or feel happiness over the occasion can be very stressful, especially because it's such a big deal. i promise you though, that it's only temporary and if you need someone to vent to i'm always here - just message me privately whenever you feel like it

that's so mature of you, and yes, i think so too, letting go will bring happiness to the both of you, especially you so i say go for it! and, hey~ i'm sure you'll meet someone better for you in the future <3

goodness! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING! i hope you have/had a wonderful day and get all the presents in the world! did you have lots of yummy food and cake? how are or will you be spending it with? lots of friends and family, i hope

haha! i get so happy every time i find out something similar about us <3 whenever i start a break/vacation of some kind, i always clean and relax first - it just really helps somehow XD

awww~ aside from being sick and the workload i had to carry atop that, i've been pretty well, dollface, thank you for worrying about me and don't fret about being late, we're both busy bees and replying back at our own time is all we can ask of each other so stop beating yourself down okay, sweetheart?

i've missed you incredibly but am happy that you're finally gonna have some time to relax now!

all my love x

[horansqueenandpaynesqueen]

Next-Door Neighbours : Chapter Fifteen

A Liam Fanfic, A Niall Fanfic, MA Rating

New neighbours, new drama. Sometimes what you need is the last thing you’re looking for.

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || 

+NOTES+

1- This fic is written by Julie ( @paynesqueen​ ) & Livia ( @horansqueen​ ) 2- Julie will write the odd chapters and Livia the even chapters 3- This fic will have romance, drama and smut.

Chapter Fifteen by Julie (paynesqueen)

Julie sat on the stool as she watched Liam finally making them breakfast. It was nearly three in the afternoon though, but she was craving eggs and bacon ever since he mentioned he was going to cook something for them earlier. After the shower, they were heading to grab something to eat, but one kiss was all it took and they were back in bed. It had been a while since she had felt such need to touch and be touched by someone as much. She would lie if she said it wasn’t scaring her, but she wanted to go over her own fears and just enjoy what she and Liam were sharing.

He was only wearing briefs and she was really enjoying the view of his backside.

“I feel bad for not helping. Are you sure I can’t help with anything?”

“You just sit your cute butt on that stool and let me cook you breakfast.” He answered not even turning around to face her.

“I just feel useless right now.” She admitted. “Not that I’m any good in the kitchen, but I usually help around at least.”

“You are not useless. Dressed like that, you motivate me to make these faster so I can undress you once again you are done eating.” He argued as he continued to fill our plates with all the goodies

“Bold of you to assume that you just have to make me breakfast to get me naked.”

“No, I also count on my irresistible charm.” He grinned putting my plate in front of me. “Enjoy!”

“Thank you.” She took the first bite and softly moaned; “Okay, this is so good.”

“Keep making those noises and we’re going straight back to bed.”

She chuckled before taking another huge bite; “We have all the time to do this. If we’re always naked, I feel like it defeats the purpose of the point you have been working for.”

“And what point is that exactly?”

“That we should be dating. I’m all for the sex and all, but if you want us to be an actual couple, you need to show me something else than your incredible skills in bed.”

She saw the grin as he pulled her towards him; “Incredible huh? I’m glad to hear that.”

“Of course that’s all you heard in all of it.” She shook her head.

“It’s not all I heard honest but since neither of us is dressed to go out and frankly, I would prefer to keep you to myself for a few more days, what would you like to do?”

“Get to know each other better? Watch a movie all cuddled up on your couch. There are many options to choose from.” She exclaimed.

“Okay then why not ask the questions we have yet to answer about our past relationship or hookups?” Liam offered.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to get on those on the very day we started ours?”

“Technically, we are on the second day.” He argued.

“Smartass.”

He chuckled softly; “But really, it’s a good thing to get out of the way, don’t you think? Plus we already covered our families, childhood and anything in-between while we were forced by you to not act on our mutual attraction. Come on, it won’t be that bad. I can even start. Ask away.”

“Fine.” She finally agreed. “With how many girls have you slept besides me?”

“Five. Two of them were random hook-ups and the other three were relationships. Now you.”

“You had random hook-ups?”She laughed. “Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting that from you.”

“I’m more of a relationship kind of guy is true, but in-between girlfriends, a guy has needs and sometimes one night stands can be good.” He replied. “Now stop stalling and tell me your score.”

“The truth is I don’t really know. I mean, I can tell you for sure four were from serious relationships, but my hook-ups, I don’t know. I can tell you that I’m in the double digits.”

“Double-digits is way too vague, Miss Cooper.”

“Fine, I guess it’s about 20 something.” She sighed pulling away. “Happy now?”

He pulled her back towards him; “I don’t care about how many guys you have slept with.”

“Is that true or are you going to bring that back to my face when we have our first fight?” She asked getting up. “Because let’s face it; we all care about who slept with who before us and saying that you don’t care implies that you are either lying and planning on using it at a later time or you simply don’t care about me as a whole. I may not be a relationship expert, but I’m not stupid.”

Okay, she might have been reaching; actually she knew for a fact that she was and she didn’t know where the need to start a fight came from. Truthfully, she knew where it came from. A fear from repeating past mistakes she was always scared that she was destined to redo.

She was about to apologize for her stupid and unnecessary outburst because she wanted this fight to be done and hopefully not to have to go deeper into that fear that has been driven her to forgo relationships when he got up at his turn.

“Okay, that’s far fetching don’t you think? I don’t care in the sense is that you don’t sleep with them anymore. You are with me so no, I don’t care if you slept with one, three or a million guys. Now if you asked me if I was jealous? That’s a totally different answer.”

“How’s that different?” She asked.

“Well, I don’t define our relationship based on how many people we have slept with in the past so that’s why I don’t care. But I am jealous of the guys who got to have you first. I’m jealous of the four guys that got a part of your heart before me and I’m also jealous of Louis.”

“Louis? Why?”

“He wasn’t your boyfriend, but he is your best friend with whom you slept for over six years. He means more to you than those other one-night stands.” He admitted. “And he’s still a big part of your life today. It’s always going to be hard not to get scared sometimes.”

She got closer to him and slithered her arms around his neck before kissing his lips softly. She had never truly believed that Liam would see Louis as competition. Especially knowing just how much Louis was head over heels for her sister.

“Liam, you’re the first guy who broke down all of my barriers. No, you didn’t only break them down; you fired up dynamite, threw it at them and they were fucking pulverised.” She admitted. “Honestly, if something was meant to happen with Louis, it would have already happened. Yes, Louis is a part of me because he’s not only my best friend; he’s been my anchor. He’s the first guy who saw through my bullshit, but it didn’t matter because it was never like this for us. We didn’t have that need to be a couple because we were never in love and never even got close to it. I can’t say he’s like a brother because that would be weird, but in some shape or form, I guess that’s what he came to be once we stopped sleeping together and he finally admitted to being in love with my sister.”

“The rational part of me knows it, but the fear is still there and if you ask me, my fear is far less far fetching than yours.”

“I know, Liam, and I am sorry to have gotten mad over this.” She sighed; “But you have to understand that as much as I want us to work, I have not overcome every little reason that stopped me from being in a relationship. I can’t promise that I won’t flip out from time to time, but I’ll try my best to not let this fear control me. Just know that it might take some time to get there.”

He kissed her at his turn making the butterflies in her stomach stir crazy. That man had a way to get her out of her comfort zone and he was probably not even aware of it.

“You’re worth it.”

“Yeah? Come back to me in a few weeks to see if you still believe that.” She chuckled.

“So we’re going to stop being stupid and try to just enjoy what we have?”

“Deal.” She smiled and he couldn’t help but think just how prettier she was whenever she smiled. He had no problem admitting it was corny, but he couldn’t help seeing it. He lowered his head towards her and kissed her forehead.

“Okay, let’s finish our breakfast or lunch or whatever you want to call it and we’ll go watch a movie all cuddled up on the couch.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

+++

After they ate and cleaned up the kitchen, they made their way to living room. As she sat down, he tried to choose the movie they were going to watch.

“How about Lord of the rings? It’s been a while since I watched it.”

“Sounds good to me. I love this movie and Orlando Bloom looks so good in it.”

“Oh yeah... Sometimes that’s all I can think about.”

She laughed softly; “Idiot. Just put it in.”

He looked up, a smirk on his face, as she rolled her eyes; “Get your mind out of the gutter, Payno.”

“Not my fault, you bring out that side of me.”

He looked at her and couldn’t help but to think about how much he wished he could make her forget about the movie. She was wearing his shirt and only that. Knowing she was naked underneath it was no helping to stop his imagination. Alas he promised her a movie night and he was going to deliver it. After he started the movie, he sat down next to her and simply pulled her to him and stretched his arm over her shoulders as her arm settled over his stomach.

About 30 minutes into the movie, he looked down at her just as she looked up and she leaned over to kiss him. He was more than happy to give in to her demand. She pulled away to grab the remote and pause the movie before kissing him again.

The kiss deepened and she quickly straddled him, their mouths connecting again. She knew that she was the one who asked to something else than sex, but she suddenly needed to feel him inside of her. She found herself grinding on him needing to quench her need.

“I thought we were supposed to watch a movie.” He said in-between kisses as his fingers wrapped themselves at the hem of her shirt before pulling it over her head.

“Changed my mind, but if you don’t shut up, I might change it back.”

“Wouldn’t dream about it.” He assured her.

She gasped when his lips found her nipple and sucked on it. She grabbed onto his hair as she kept on grinding over his thighs.

“God, you’re driving me crazy.” He said just before latching onto her other breast.

She loved how skilled he was with his mouth. The simple thought of where it was earlier in the afternoon got her so close to her release. His hands grabbed her bottoms and helped with the pace of her grinding.

“Oh f-” She came faster than she anticipated when they started this, but she was far from being done. She still needed him inside of her.

One of her hands came between them and reached inside his briefs. She stroked his hard member and he groaned against her breast.

“Fuck, I need to be inside of you. Not about to cum this way.”

Lifting her slightly, they succeeded to get rid of the piece of clothing that was complicating things and with no need to ask, his dick filled her. She moaned as she stretched around it, letting it sink further each time. As she was going up and down on him, his tongue licked every part of her skin it could find giving her more shivers than she thought she could handle. She could feel him so deep into her as he thrusted his hips upwards in fluid strokes. She was so damn close and she tried to take control of their pacing to accelerate her release.

“Fuck this.” He let out.

She didn’t get to ask what it was about before he lifted them from the couch and found themselves onto the floor, him over her.

“What the-”

He shut her up crashing his mouth on hers and he fastened his pace as he pound into her. She wanted to be annoyed that he took the control from her, but as he went deep and hard into her, she couldn’t think straight.

It didn’t take long after that to feel the waves of her orgasm build up and for a rare time of her life, she was pretty sure their neighbours heard her cuming. He followed not long after and as they try to regain their breath, he stood still over her, supported by his forearms.

“Why the change of position? Didn’t like not having control?” She asked him as she played with the strand of hair that was falling over his eye.

“Not the reason why.”

He looked kind of sheepish before he went on; “I just needed you closer. When you’re under me, I feel we make one.”

She wasn’t sure if he was actually being truthful or if he was joking, but she decided not to push it further; she liked to think that he meant it.

She pulled him closer and kissed him softly; “That’s kind of sweet, but now I’m going to have carpet burn on my ass because of that.”

“Sorry about that.” He laughed. “Tell you what, let’s head to the bedroom and to make you forgive me, I’m going to massage that sweet arse of yours.”

“Yeah like that’s not a code for getting laid again.”

“Do you really have something against me making you shudder with pleasure over and over again?”

He got on his knees and pulled her with him finding herself straddling him again. Her arms wrapped around his neck as he tried to get them up without breaking contact. It seemed easier said than done though and on his third attempt, she finally couldn’t hold her laughter in.

“Okay, I think we have established you have not mastered that ability.”

His annoyance was palpable and she pecked his lips before getting off him so he could get up. Once they were both up on their feet, Liam quickly lifted over his shoulder. She shrieked as he hustled her towards his bedroom.

“Put me down you caveman.”

He ignored her plea and smacked her bottoms just for good measure. She yelped in surprise when he threw her onto the bed and climbed over her.

“That doesn’t sound like I’m about to get a massage.”

“You’ll get one...” He lingered on the words. “But with you being naked on my bed, it’s giving me tons of other ideas.”

“So much for doing other stuff than sex tonight.” She laughed.

“You started it.” He reminded her.

“I know. I know.” He groaned. “I guess you’re kind of irresistible.”

“Don’t worry, love. We will do other things. We have all the time in the world to do them.” He promised her.

She smiled at him and leaned over for a kiss before he busied himself to make her cum once more.

[angstysebfan]

If You Love Me, Why Did You Hurt Me? 2/?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader  Other Avengers Mentioned: Steve, Sam, Natasha, Tony Warnings: Mentions of alcoholism; cursing

Summary: You dated Bucky for 5 wonderful years! You thought he was the one! Then, without reason, he ends your relationship, and gets a new girlfriend 2 days later! While you are both Avengers, you still have to see him, and his girlfriend.

Series Masterlist

2 weeks later and you still have trouble thinking what could have gone wrong. You go to step out of the bed and step on the empty vodka bottle on the floor. Guess you have to get another bottle. Alcohol is the only thing that helps you feel numb enough to get sleep, or to even function. You slowly get out of bed and head into the bathroom.

Once you are dressed in your workout clothes, you peek you head out to make sure the coast is clear. The last thing you need is to see your ex boyfriend or his new girlfriend in the hall. You have been actively avoiding them, since he introduced her to the group 2 days after you broke up. They were all confused, but try to be nice to the girl. 

Brittney was the complete opposite of you. Where you had dark hair, she had platinum blonde (definitely store bought), and where you were short and had curves, she was tall and skinny. The only curves on her were the 2 fake breasts she had. She was everything you were not. Everything he apparently wanted.

You quickly walk to the end of the hall to get into the elevator. You wait as it comes up, hoping not to see the “lovely couple”. Alas, as the elevator reaches your floor, you here the giggling inside. You knew who it belonged to. You quickly put on a blank face, “don’t let him see your pain”, you thought to yourself. 

The elevator door opened to see Bucky and Brittney in a loving embrace, kissing eachother stupid. They weren’t moving, so you cleared your throat. Bucky quickly pushed away. Brittney looked at you, almost smugly. Bucky had somewhat of the decency to look apologetic. The 3 of you stood there for what felt like forever, but it was probably 5 seconds. 

“Are you moving? I need to get into the elevator” you said to no one in particular. 

“Oh, yea. Sorry” Bucky said, quickly grabbing Brittney around the waist and leaving the elevator. 

You jumped inside and hit the button to heads towards the training room. As the doors closed you looked out and saw Bucky looking at you. For the first time in 2 weeks, he actually showed an emotion when looking at you. Sadness.

You entered the training room and went straight for the treadmill to warm up. 15 minutes and 3 miles later, you jump off the treadmill and start wrapping your hands. You were going to dance with the punching bag. You put your headphones in and started going at it.

Sweat was dripping from you, but you didn’t feel tired. You just kept seeing them kissing, and a new wave of anger would surface. You didn’t notice anyone entering the gym, and just kept beating the punching bag harder and harder. You knew your knuckles were bleeding, despite the tape, but you did’t care. You needed the pain. You needed something, anything!

When you stopped for a second to take a breath, you felt a tap on your shoulder. You quickly turned around and swung. Steve grabbed your wrist, “Woah, killer!” You take your headphones out of your ears.

 “Sorry, I didn’t hear you.” Steve looked at you concerned. “Yeah, I guess you didn’t with your headphones in. You okay? You look like crap!”

You breathlessly laughed, “You can say shit, ya know. Cause I know I look worse than crap. I feel worse than crap.” Your eyes started to water, but you quickly shook your head. “Did you need something?”

Steve kept his concerned father look. “I just wanted to see if you were okay. I haven’t seen you much. You’re either in your room, leaving the compound, or in here with headphones on.”

“I’m... fine. I’ll be fine. I’m not the first woman to have her heart broken, right?” Steve sadly smiled at you. You look down at the floor so you don’t see the pity in his eyes. 

“Did you want the bag? I’m almost done.”

Steve looked at your hands. The blood starting to seep through the tape. “You are done. No more bag for a few days. Let your hands heal.” Then he turned and left the room. Once you knew he was gone, you quickly put your headphones back in and started to beat the bag again.

After your work out, you went up to the kitchen to get a bottle of water. Walking through the common room, you see Bucky and Sam talking. Since Bucky was the last person you wanted to see, you tried to quickly grab your bottle and leave without being noticed, but of course, Sam never makes things easy.

“Hey y/n! Good workout?” He waved you to come over. You waved your hand meaning “no thanks” and said, “Yeah, now I gotta go run errands. See ya.” You quickly left the common room and headed toward your room. You missed the longing look from Bucky as you quickly left.

After a quick shower, you head out to the liquor store. You also figured you should get food, because you no longer take your meals with the team. You don’t want to be in the same room with Bucky (or Brittney) any longer than you have to.

45 minutes later you enter back into the common room from the elevator. You start heading toward your room, when your arm is yanked from behind. 

“Where have you been sneaking off to?” Natasha. She looks at you with sad eyes, and you look anywhere but her face. You were tired of the pity in everyone's eyes. It made you want to cry.

“Just had some errands to run. Ya know how it is.” You go to turn back around, but she doesn’t let go of your arm.

“You just ran errands 2 days ago. In fact you run errands every other day. What’s going on?” 

You knew she knew exactly what you were doing, but that doesn’t mean you had to tell the spy. You just shrugged your shoulders.

“Just get inspiration to buy things.” She looked at you like she didn’t believe you, but decided to keep her mouth shut. You turned and walked to your room. 

“FRIDAY lock my door, and don’t let anyone in please.” “Yes Ms. Y/L/N.”

You sat on your bed, took out you laptop and put on the saddest movie you could think of. You took out 1 of the gallons of vodka you bought, grabbed your snacks and settled in for the night. 

By the time the movie was done, you ran out of snacks, and you finished most of the bottle of Vodka. You were now do drunk you couldn’t feel anything. That’s exactly what you wanted. You laid on your bed and just stared at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to come.

The next day, you wake up to a loud knock on your door. Your head is pounding from the amount of vodka you drank, and all you wanted to do was sleep, or puke. 

“FRIDAY who is at my door?”

“It is Mr. Stark ma’am.”

You groaned. “Tell him to leave me alone please.” You turn to lay on your stomach and put the pillow over your head.

Once there is silence, you think he is gone. Suddenly your door opened and in came Tony Stark. You look over your shoulder and scowl at him. 

“This is an abuse of power. I said leave me alone, not come in.” You quickly shove your head back under the pillow. 

Tony comes over and sits on the edge of your bed. “Talk to me kiddo. I’m worried sick here.” You just groaned.

“I’ll sit here all day if I have to.” Tony says as he surveys your room. The empty food containers, and several empty vodka bottles. His heart feels heavy. “Please talk to me.”

“I’m fine Tony.” You say muffled under your pillow. “I can handle it.”

“Kiddo, you know how much you mean to me. I can’t sit by, while you slowly kill yourself.”

You move the pillow and turn to face him. “I’m not going to kill myself. I just need something to help me sleep and to not feel the pain. Give me another week and I’ll be back to my old self.”

Tony shook his head, looking at you with sympathy in his eyes. “I wish I could believe that kid, but I know that’s a load of bullshit. I can’t have you doing missions when you are in this condition. You will put yourself and everyone else in danger.”

You quickly sat up. “Tony, I swear I am fine! Don’t take me off missions, please! It’s all I have left!” You started crying. You could not believe that Bucky had officially ruined your whole life. 

“If I can’t go on missions, then what’s the point of being an Avenger?”

Tony hugged you, and surprisingly, you let him. “You won’t be off forever. Just for a little while until you feel better without liquor and hurting yourself. You will always be an Avenger.”

You’re sobbing now. How did you let it get this bad? “This is why you never show emotions!” you think to yourself. Tony is rubbing your back as you continue to sob. You turn and look out toward your open door and see Bucky standing there with a sad expression on his face. Suddenly you sadness turns to anger, no... rage.

“What the fuck are you looking at Barnes! This is all your fault! You did this to me! You ruined my life!” 

You quickly got up and walked to the door. Bucky didn’t move and looked shocked at your outrage. “I fucking hate you! I never want to see you or speak to you again! You ruined me!” You slam the door and fall to your knees. 

Sobbing loudly. Tony quickly runs over to you and holds you in his arms. He rocks back and forth whispering “it’s okay” over and over. He plants several kisses on the crown of your head. 

Meanwhile Bucky looks at your closed door. He feels completely helpless, because he knows you are right. He did ruin your life, in more ways than one. You will never forgive him for this. Tears start slowly falling from his eyes as he hears your sobs from the other side of the door. All he wants to do is go in and hold you. Beg you for forgiveness and kiss you, but he knows he can’t. 

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers. He turns and walks to his room. Once the door closes, he slides against the door until he sits, and sobs quietly.

Chapter 1   Chapter 3

I know this is only chapter 2, but I am really enjoying writing this. The thing I love is that I have no plan as to how this is going to go. I am just writing as it comes to me. Please tell me what you think!

[horrorslashergirl]

Chromeskull x Ghostface!Reader- “Playing with the bad boys“

CHAPTER 1: Looks can be deceiving

CHAPTER 2: One cut of information (You are here)

A smile was on your face as you exited work, finally, it was weekend, your free weekend and you couldn't wait to get home. You just parked into the driveway of your apartment complex, walking upstairs to the third floor and opened the door to your apartment, getting inside and letting your bag fall on the floor, too lazy to put it on its place. You stretched your arms above your head, your muscles sore from sitting down on a chair into an office 8 hours.

You really needed some workout; a smirk plastering on your face at the thought of it, your steps moving towards the closet where your killing gear was. Yes, tonight would be just perfect.

You had tracked down two girls that lived together, they were probably from the local college, the usual dumb bimbos who begged their daddy dearest for money, so they could buy more drugs or use the money for cheap botox. It was still earlier, so you made yourself some fast dinner, before going hunting.

Later 11:25 AM....

It was a suburban neighboorhood, the kind where nothing interesting happened, a good reason for why you choosed it for your next game. The two girls lived in a two story modern home, the other neighboors were either away because of the weekend, probably on vacation or a trip, alas, you liked when none was around. You weren't fond of witnesses, only when they find the dead bodies. That was always the fun part, imagining the people finding the dead bodies, all mutilated and guts falling out.

The two girls were, Angelina and Fionna, you remembered seeing them at the coffee shop, talking about the Ghostface murderers and how they could beat him, that they aren't scared of a weirdo in a costume. You raised an eyebrow at that statement.

Oh, really? Let's see when they feel it on their own skin.

You were hiding in the shadows, behind trees and bushes, a perfect view of the kitchen and the girls. That's a reason you loved modern homes, nowdays they used more wall glasses, giving no privacy, meaning anyone could see what they were doing if they so desired.

In one hand you were grasping the mobile phone, while the other one had the hunting knife, the grip on the handle of the blade getting tight, imagining how you could end their lifes; maybe pull their eyeballs out? Or hanging them from the tree with their intestines out?

Hey, a girl needs a hobby.

It was time; you dialed the number of Fionnas phone, waiting for her to answer, your eyes always on them.

Into the house...

Angelica and Fionna were ready for a movie marathon, preparing popcorn and getting the sodas out of the fridge.

"I can't believe she colored her hair red, she looks like the nose of a clown." Angelica said, looking over her manicured nails.

"Ughh....You tell me. She's like so overrated." Fionna said, rolling her eyes, then her phone ringed, the called been unknown.

"It's probably Tony, he sometime calls me with unknown number just so he can hear my voice." Fionna said with an arrogant smirk, answering the phone.

"Hello. Who's there?" she asked, putting the cans of soda on the kitchen counter.

"I don't know. Who's this?" the raspy manly voice spoke.

"Look Tony. If you wanna jerk off to my voice at least record it, will ya?"

"This is no Tony." the stranger on the other line answered, making Fionna furrow her eyebrows.

"I got to take more ice from the freezer in the garage and stop talking with that weirdo." Angelica said, a disgusted look on her face as she went out, leaving Fionna in the kitchen.

"Look. I am busy. I have to go." Fionna said, her voice wasn't so confident anymore, then she hung up. The nerve of that bitch. You will take care of Fionna later. Right now, Angelica was into the garage and the oportunity was too good.

With stealthy moves, you went over there, and you couldn't believe how easy this was. She had her back turned to you, earbuds in, listening to music. Gripping the knife tightly you stabbed her right between her shoulderblades, making her gasp and tremble, the blood pouring out as you took the knife from her flesh.

She turned around, her eyeballs big and full of fear. Another stab, right into her stomach, your hand dragging the blade up until it reached her chest, then you pulled out, blood dripping on the cement ground of the garage, her body falling on the cold ground, shaking a little as she gave her last breath.

You took your phone out and dialed Fionnas number. One down, one more to go.

Fionna was on the couch, the movie had started and she was waiting for Angelica, when her phone was ringing. She looked up and saw it was Angelica.

"What happened? Got your head stuck into the freezer?" she asked in a sassy tone.

"Something like that." the raspy voice spoke, making Fionna stand up fast, the bowl of popcorn falling on the floor.

"Who's this? What did you do to Angelica?" she asked, her breathing picking up as she went into the kitchen.

"So many questions at the time. The important question is...Will you make it to the sequel?" the voice taunted, Fionna whimpered as she slumped down against the kitchen counter.

"Hey, hey! Stop whining like a little bitch. With that attitude you won't make it past half the movie."

"T-This isn't funny." she said in a shaky voice, the deep voice chuckling.

"Of course is not. It's a horror movie, altough I find myself laughing at guts spilling."

"W-What do you want?"

"To see what your insides look like. I bet they're way prettier than you caked down face." the raspy voice hissed.

"I-I know you're here! Y-You killed Angie!" Fionna screamed, more tears running down her face.

"Looks like you're not all silicone and paint. Maybe you got some brains floating inside that skull of yours."

"Where are you?"

"Above you." the answer made Fionnas eyes widen as she looked up.

You were dressed in all the Ghostface costume, right on the kitchen counter, then your gloved hand grasped Fionna by her hair, throwing her across the floor and before she knew it, she was stabbed three times into her back. Still, she crawled on the floor, trying to get away.

"You got some fight into you." you said, the voice modulator inside the mask, making you sound like a male.

You were ready to go over to her and finish her up, but a blur of black and silver knocked you down, making you stumbled on the floor. Your eyes from behind the mask looked up from polished black shoes to a pair of long legs clad in black slacks to build form in a black coat and finally settled on a silver skull mask and a bald scalp.

"You got to be fucking kidding me." you said, getting up, knife in hand.

In all your life as a killer you meet all kinds of possibilities of getting screwed over. You almost got shot by the boyfriend of one of your victims, another victim who had a black belt in martial arts. You dealt with them, but nothing could prepare you for coming mask to mask with the infamous Chromeskull. Still, you weren't going to back out.

"Screw over, GhostRider! This is my movie." you snarled, the camera on his broad shoulder filming your every action.

You lunged at him, knife in hand, only for him to pick your body up and throw you against the kitchen cabinets, making you fall on the hard tiles, a groan leaving your lips. You saw how he went over to the crawling girl, the knife he held much larger than yours and you saw how he pretty much decapitated her, fisting her hair and dangling her head, mocking you.

Quickly, you got up onto your feet and you saw how he lunged at you, swinging his knife at your form with expertise moves. You managed to dodge his hits, until he slashed across your chest. It wasn't a deep wound, but it stung like a bitch.

You knew you were powerless and you weren't ready to lose or be caught, especially by a killer, so you did the only thing you could, you run, straight out the glass walls, your body hitting the porch, but getting up and sprinted into the shadows.

Jesse huffed in annoyance. The small killer managed to get away, but unlike Ghostface, Chromeskull has much up his sleeve. This was just a first meeting and he managed to cut Ghostface. It was a 1-0 in Jesse's point of view.

Back at your place...

You groaned as you started to patch yourself up, the dezinfectant making you hiss at the paint, it surely would leave an ugly scar. This was bad, very bad in your opinion; you never would have guessed that you would challenge Chromeskull, at last he didn't knew your identity.

The thought of crossing him again settled an unpleasant feeling into your gut, knowing damn well that he had more skills than you, way more advanced technology and he was way smarter than you. You felt pretty much humiliated, but you were glad he didn't cut you somewhere else, more visible. You didn't particulary were up to explaining to work what happened.

After finishing up to stitching your wound, you poured yourself a glass of wine, feeling so stressed and tiered, you almost gulped down the whole wine. You had to be more carefull, because if the universe arranged the things so you would meet up with Chromeskull again, you didn't knew if you would make it out alive.

Your mind assured you that there was nothing to be afraid. Everyone thought Ghostface was a male and nothing would pull on the pieces together that there is a small chance you are Ghostface.

Your idenity was safe.

Somewhere else in Jacksonville...

The huge black desk was thrown across the room, the strength behind the action conducted by pure anger. Jesse was huffing harshly, single brown eye filled with rage that the organization hadn't gattered any other information about Ghostface.

Spann and Preston were looking at their boss, used to his brutal anger. Angry Jesse wasn't pretty, but they knew better than to try to calm him down, unless they wanted to fall victims to his blinded carnage.

The meeting with Ghostface hasn't got the way he exactly wanted, the single wound hadn't done justice to that rookie killer and to think Jesse almost had his hands wrapped around that neck. He wished he could have snapped his neck, that would have been a pretty scene for his collection of tapes.

A knock was heard on the door of the office, one of the medics from the organization entered, large frammed glasses perked on his nose as he cleared his throat.

"The results of the blood from Mr. Cromeans knife have arrived." he simple said, handing the file to Spann, then leaving without another word. Spann looked over the files, her eyes widening a little, but she quickly pulled on the emotionless facade.

"Sir, I think you wanna see this." Spann said, Jesse was looking out the window, his hands in tight fists, then he turned to look at Spann, taking the files from her hands and dismissing both her and Preston, who just huffed in annoyance, but didn't said anything.

The last thing Preston needed was to end up with a black eye from Jesse, so he followed after Spann, closing the door.

Jesse pulled up his armchair that he threw across the office five minutes ago and slumped down on the comfy leather, taking out a pack of cigarettes and lighting one, taking a drag. He was stressed, and anyone who knew Jesse on a more personal level could tell by his posture.

His gaze moved to the file in hand and read over the results; the blood type, the antibodies in plasma, the antigens in red blood cells and finally the gender.

His scarred lips parted as he read over the gender one more time, making sure he wasn't hallucinating.

Female.

Quickly, all the tension flew out of Jesse and a smirk that could make anyone shake in fear formed on his disfigured face, a silent chuckle rumbling deep within his chest.

Oh, this changed a lot of things.

So, the infamous Ghostface who tauned his victims on the phone with menancing and horror trivia question was actually a SHE?

Oh, Ghostie, when I will get my hands on you...

To be continued...

[dukeofriven]

Where Did I Go?

 So it can’t have escaped notice that I have been... extremely quiet on Tumblr for the last little while; if by ‘last little while’ we can accept ‘about a year and a half’ as a brief stretch of time. Which it is, at least on a cosmic scale. There is, at a very least, a certain stark contrast in that a period before I stopped writing I was trialed on the drug adderall, which didn’t work out - but when I was on it I wrote in a sort of feverish state with a volume that now over-awes me. My drafts folder is full of long, unfinished essays several thousands of words long, all of which I am too afraid to look at, fearing some nightmarish creation. But that is merely a part of where I went to. You see, I was going to have my first book published. It’s true. I’d been contracted by a game design company to write a D&D module, and after months of delays and anxieties I wrote the damn thing in a torrent of words and ideas and overflowing creativity and was left with a product I feared was over-ambitious, pompous, excessively literate, and - worst of all - boring. But after several more weeks in which nobody read it - at last they read it. And they loved it. They really, really loved it! And while we went back and forth on editing and ideas were defended and compromises made, and I begrudgingly accepted that the cover couldn’t be made of real leather and that ever character portrait wasn’t going to be done in oils hand-painted onto vellum, over-all there was one thing that shone clear: I was going to be published!. That feeling lasted a good long while. Then Covid happened. ------- Many people have been traumatized by this pandemic. Their lives have been torn apart, loved ones lost, health ruined, finances decimated. I have been extraordinary lucky - my health and the health of my family across the globe has been remarkably good. I’ve been unemployed for the better part of two years now but through savings and family love I managed to be okay. Physically I am fine myself - I lost all the muscle mass I’d gained after the pools were shuttered in the first lockdown, but while I’m a little heavier than i’d like, and less fit than I’d like, I’m doing okay. But my publisher wasn’t so fortunate, and neither was my mental health. The death of my publisher was long and slow - in dribs and drabs it dragged out the process, delaying and delaying until in a single moment I was informed that the company was effectively going into hibernation, and that the employees were going their separate ways. My book - and my payment - remain in a limbo that I don’t want to look into because I’m going to hate whatever answers are to be found. As the company declined so too did my mental health. The late summer was bad. November was awful. I don’t remember parts of January at all. Other things fell by the wayside. I was asked to work with a Homestuck fan project that I mortifyingly failed to properly follow up on as my brain went walkabout. My attention to resumes and job interviews slowed and trickled away because it was so hard to care about any of that. So hard to care about myself. I think that’s what people who don’t suffer from depression sometimes fundamentally fail to understand about depressive behaviours. It’s where this idea of laziness comes from - just get a job, stop dragging your feet, settle for something even if it isn’t what you want. But why? When you lie in bed at night starting at the darkness swallowed by your every failure, when you feel as though there is nothing to live for, why should ‘work’ hold any motivational factor? I stay alive because dying would upset the people I love - but having a reason to not die isn’t the same as having a reason to live. The absence of that motivator becomes your entire existence - “I have been single for eleven years, I have been unemployed for almost two years, every creative project I have been attached to in the last five years has been erased off the planet through no fault of my own.” The point being “I am undesirable as either a partner, a lover, or an employee, and have no reason to look forward to tomorrow.” And when you don’t look forward to tomorrow then you don’t look forward to next month, or the next six moths, or the next year. So finding a job doesn’t really matter because i don’t really matter. Everything in the world seems to want me to fade away into nothing, so if I don’t move much and say very little maybe I can reach equilibrium with the absence that is my personhood. And so on. Suffice it to say, this does not put one in much of a writing mood. I feel bad about this (though, admittedly, i feel bad about everything.) I felt I was building up an audience, and then... I let it all slip away. Of course, were that even not the case I could still find reasons to self-criticize - that is something for which there is never a lack of motivator, alas. But it did seem to need an explanation. I didn’t go anywhere, I just went quiet because it became harder and harder to create - to write, draw, draft, model, sculpt, or simply speak. Where did I go? Into myself and my own sorrows. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. - DukeOfRiven Feb 29, 2021. P.S. A belated happy Purim.