#i want it to feel like a fair deal | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mrsterlingeverything · 3 months

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#theres this poll i just saw that was like do you expect your partner to maintain a certain weight or physique #and like........#yea.....#its not the most important thing ever but like i have to count calories to keep my weight up #and im pretty active even if i dont have like a strong gym routine #so... it doesnt sound great to say but i expect them to stay healthy or im not going to be as attracted to them sry #i want it to feel like a fair deal

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polliwoggers · 2 months

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would you believe I sat down five days ago intending to iron out gijinka designs. and then these horrible cats appeared on my screen instead. truly deplorable behavior if you ask me

more info on these cats and their world below the cut. FYI its kind of long

Nightstar - longtime leader of DreamClan, known for his grim efficiency and penchant to orchestrate complex plans well in advance. Also, very full of himself. Has been leader for as long as anyone can remember, but is not open with the Clan about how many lives he has remaining. Does not speak to anyone of his communication with StarClan; not even his deputy or the medicine cats.

Nightmask - deputy of DreamClan and son of Nightstar, for whom he is named. It is just as confusing as it sounds, and neither the Clan at large nor Nightmask himself are all too fond of Nightstar's vain naming decisions. Nightmask is fully confident in his ability to lead the Clan when his time comes, but something about his father having funnelled him into this leadership role from kithood makes him... nervous. Not that he'd show it, of course. That would be weakness. He is a fast and nimble fighter.

Tansyclaw - technically the primary medicine cat of DreamClan, but rarely partakes in healing. Has a vast knowledge of herbs and poisons. Only took on the medicine cat position for the political power it would net for him and his suspiciously close friend, Singlesky.

Acornshine - functional medicine cat of DreamClan, only recently granted her full name as she ascended to full medicine cat status. Although less experienced than her past mentor, Tansyclaw, matters of medicine and communing with StarClan often fall upon her. Looks forward to Ripplepaw’s visits to chat with her in the medicine den.

Darkslash - senior warrior of DreamClan. Blind in one eye from a past battle, with the scar still visible. Came out of retirement to mentor the also visually-impaired Gooeypaw. A bit of a grouch.

Dandytail - warrior of DreamClan, and largest cat in the Clan. his heft and strength grant him the advantage in most every fight, but he has the tendency to get greedy for glory in the heat of battle. This often leads him to attempt and fumble fancy maneuvers that ultimately cost him the win. Not much for hunting, as he struggles to move quietly. Has a big heart, and still acts like a kit in some ways.

Singlesky - warrior of DreamClan, and a gifted speaker. She is excellent at hunting, and will sometimes collect trophies of her more interesting or well-preserved kills. Has a great appreciation for flowers. Her every suggestion is parroted by Tansyclaw at Clan meetings.

Waddlesplash - warrior of DreamClan. Fairly mild-mannered. Dislikes Dandytail. Looks up to Nightmask, who was their mentor before Waddlesplash was promoted to warrior status.

Puffypaw - Apprentice of Nightstar, but is rarely trained by him. instead, Nightmask or another warrior usually fills in for his training. if Nightstar had no intention of training him, why did he choose to make Puffypaw his apprentice in the first place? Nightstar has high expectations for the young cat, it would seem…

Gooeypaw - Apprentice of Darkslash. Is named for his eye condition, which makes his eyes appear constantly goopy and clouds his vision. His poor eyesight makes him more than a little clumsy, and often has to invent new ways of doing tasks other cats would find a breeze. Gets along splendidly with Puffypaw.

Bandedpaw - Apprentice of Dandytail, and first to find Puffypaw all alone in the woods on a windy newleaf day. Together with Gooeypaw, Bandedpaw forms the main triad of Puffypaw's friends in DreamClan. His mentor, Dandytail, is less than enthused that his apprentice is associating with someone he still sees as an outsider, smelling of the twolegplace…

Ripplepaw - Apprentice of Singlesky, and best friends with Acornshine. Conveniently, since Singlesky is always in the medicine den to converse with Tansyclaw, Rippleclaw gets to see her friend quite often! She's extremely proud of Acornshine's promotion to full medicine cat, and hopes that she will earn her full name soon, too! So long as she follows everything her mentor says, she’s sure to become a warrior in only a few moons! Has a small crush on Puffypaw.

Applewhisp - elder of DreamClan, and oldest cat in the Clan. Doesn't do much these days but laze around and huff irritatedly at younger cats who linger too long near the elders' den. Likes to tell stories, but isn’t very good at it. A bit of a pushover.

Harvest Heart - a mysterious, unpredictable cat who claims to have been cast out of the Clans thousands of moons ago -- but it would be impossible for any cat to live that long, wouldn't it? During his travels, he acquired followers from all walks of life. As it stands, he and his small following pose little threat to DreamClan, but it’s always best to stay alert.

Zap of a Passing Storm - the first of Harvest Heart's followers, hailing from a faraway tribe that she refuses to speak about. A fast and vicious fighter, she is easily the most loyal to Harvest Heart's cause -- whenever he can remember what it is, anyway. She often requests to be referred to only by her full name, as anything less than that would be an insult to her honor. No cats respect this. Poor thing.

Francisca - the second of Harvest Heart's followers, having come from the kittypet life in a distant twoleg nest. After her housefolk died, she was turned out onto the cold, unfamiliar streets of the twolegplace. She would surely have frozen to death, were it not for Harvest Heart's charity in her time of need. She travels with him now, as she has nowhere else to go. She has become close with Flamebounce.

Flamebounce - the third of Harvest Heart's followers, originating from the Clans themselves. After a wildfire ravaged her home territory, she was left with nowhere to go, and no idea if any of her Clanmates survived. She struggled to breathe through her smoke-sickness, and would have died if Harvest Heart had not stepped in to help. She greatly misses her old Clan, and often wonders if anyone else managed to escape the fire -- but, even if she were able go back to her old life, she could never leave Francisca behind.

Mags - A wandering loner who sometimes crosses paths with DreamClan. Suspiciously friendly to the Clan cats. Knows a lot about twolegs. Stays very far from Harvest Heart’s rogue group at all costs.

Mars - Never that far behind Mags. thinks it’s hilarious to leave ominous objects for Clan cats to find and catastrophize into some world-ending prophecy. Aside from this odd behavior, he seems totally disinterested in Clan life.

Ms. Susie - beloved kittypet of the CEO of Haltmann Works Land Development Company. Doesn't see why those savage forest cats would mind losing their tacky bushes and trees if it means they could live in the glorious abundance of the twolegplace; or, more likely, she just doesn't care what they think. Often sneaks into Clan territory to meet with cats unknown. Aware of Puffypaw's existence, and could potentially use that knowledge as blackmail material against certain cats in high positions…

Fluffy - a friendly, fluffy kittypet whom Puffypaw likes to chat with to see how things in the twolegplace are going. Often asks if Puffypaw would like to live with him and his housefolk. Puffypaw is hesitant to officially accept or decline the offer, but he's happy to share Fluffy's food when he offers it!

#kirby #kirby au #my drawings #me talking lol #warrior cats #warriors #wc #i am NOT tagging everyone mentioned. simply no thank you #i didnt wanna make taranza the medicine cat i didn't WANNA!!#i feel like that's such a fanon thing to do rather than working from his canon self. he gets woobified a lot #so i cut a deal w/ myself to make him the medicine cat but ONLY because he wanted political power. hes so scrungly its only fair #also the lor is a vacant smarthome with a doggy door magolor sneaks in through. if you were wondering #if u saw this before i fixed the allegiances no u didnt

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uncanny-tranny · 5 months

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The biggest saving grace I feel I've done is to get into death positivity, to learn to appreciate death. It's definitely not going to help for many, but I have found that not stigmatizing my own interest and desire for death has greatly helped. Being able to interact with death not as a punishment, but as a way to express humanity has been truly what has made me feel more human. I no longer want to feel ashamed of this aspect of myself, and it's made me want to live. Death has done unto me life.

#death positive #death tw #death mention tw #suicide mention tw #ask to tag (genuine)#i have been trying to interact with more death positivity. it's helped not only my own thoughts but also grief...#...and grief is something i know intimately that i do not process and deal with 'normally'#i am CERTAINLY not saying that you should adopt these ideas for yourself but rather i am sharing what has worked for me...#...my hope is that i can help motivate others to find what works for THEM...#...to not feel SHAME over it. the shame is the enemy. the fear and self-loathing and self-hatred are the enemies...#...i used to feel so ashamed and humiliated about this aspect of me because of how... out there it was...#...but i genuinely cannot live the way the world does and i have TRIED #i don't want ANYbody EVER feeling that way. not if i can even try to help y'know?#i am really grateful to the people who have posted about death and the process because it has really been an important topic #death is nuanced and complicated and it isn't fair a lot of times - it's absolutely fair to not *like* death

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rebellionbeach · 1 month

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final 8 beat post but I'll have everyone know that Kip Winger does exist but Reb doesn't....it's so over

#to all the rip weach enjoyers....stay strong #of course she'll draw skid row but not Reb......#idk part of me just wants to commission her #like 1000 smacks for reb beach i feel that is a fair deal here ms atusko #if you ever wanted to know why the brain rot is so high…she literally targets me with all my favs #8 beat gag #also the way he took over the feral agent of chaos role from Ritchie...shima what are you trying to say #also perfect characterization I'm not even gonna lie #he needs reb to balance him outttttttttt ughhhhhhhh #kip winger

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magniloquent-raven · 2 months

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yall mfers need to stop

#gay characters written with a straight audience in mind are a thing im not denying that #like 95% of one-off queer storylines in the early 2000s were just #''hello i am a gay. i have just enough personality to pass as human in the eyes of the audience.#now let me explain why you should treat me like a person''#but my god have people taken this phrase and run all the way into hell with it #if i see one more person saying heartstopper is for straight people im gonna start biting throats out #it was created by a queer person first of all #and second of all they did not write an entire subplot about there being no age limit on discovering who you are #for STRAIGHT PEOPLE #that wasn't for them!! it was for all the people in their 30s who watched the first season #and cried their eyes out because they were seeing all the things they never got to have #im so tired yall #i stg any queer media that's even remotely lighthearted or optimistic #is immediately called ''sanitized'' or rejected as some fantasy aimed at straight ppl who dont want to deal with harsh realities #when that just isnt fair at all #also side note the post i saw that prompted me to make this also put ''pretty much all queer media made in asia'' on the list #of queer media for straights #which. feels racist.#i really dont have much of a frame of reference for queer anime/kdramas/cdramas etc. but the generalization feels sketchy #idk man i feel like there's a certain segment of the community who will just say anything they dont like is not For Us #like just because it isn't for YOU doesnt meant no one in the community can relate to/enjoy it ffs

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needylittlegirl · 3 days

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i really cant do anything ever i was just making my bed and i got lost in thought so now im crying

#just bc i have a fever again and my emotions always skyrocket but #just thinkin about how ready i was for college everything was going perfectly i had good scholarships n i was so excited :(#and then i had to get sick and have stupid doctors tell me i should hold off #and i know they were right cause i wouldve been too sick to do anything i wouldve had to drop out #but i was One summer away from doing what i had wanted to do since i could read #and in the couple years it took me to start to get my health back under control #everyone had told me those dreams were silly anyways and werent going to get me anywhere #got so much praise for getting the job i have and following its parh instead of doing what i wanted bc it was Unrealistic.#i watch a lot of people that have made a living out of it and have made a difference and i just cant help but get so jealous #i had a dream about it the other night and i woke up and cried my little eyes out!!!#it was such a bland and like realistic normal day dream but i was Doing what i wanted to do #its not fair why did I have to get sick why did everyone have to convince me to not do it once i got better #i feel like its always going to upset me til the day i die im never going to be able to accept that it just wasnt in the cards for me #and i feel like im never 1000% happy with my life ever and its because im not doing what i wanted #maybe its stupid and like naive of me #every kid like wants to grow up and be a fireman or something that they dont end up doing #so maybe im just dumb for not knowing how to let go of mine like i shouldve outgrown them #i just have such a vivid memory of me offhandedly asking my doctor if all the bloodwork n tests n stuff would come back before my first day #and he just waited for a minute before saying i should wait a semester or two #and then that turned into a year #and so on #and hes like a very rational doctor he has helped me so much dont get me wrong #but i just started crying right there infront of him #and i am Not ever one to cry in front of anyone #and i think i kind of knew #like everyone had already been telling me id just end up switching majors and all sorts of stuff #so i was already like fighting for things to go my way #i think i knew right then that it was just never in the cards for me #idk ill just have to keep sucking it up and dealing w it til im over it #tbd

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opens-up-4-nobody · 3 months

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...

#its seems we really may be at the end of vanity #i missed a call from my dad and thought we might be in a connors birthday situation but no. not yet #he did say that it feels like this is it bc my mom's situation is complicated bc she has so much wrong at this point #its like a h0use md episode. the doctors dont seem to kno what to do and shes not very coherent #so my dad was saying that i should look at flights and by tonight hell let me kno if i should pull the trigger and buy a one way ticket home #it sucks. he sounds rough. i feel so bad for him. his wife of 29 years is dying #its not fair. shes only 53 #i wanna be there but im stuck here across the country. i wanna go home. thats a bit frighting tho bc itll take me at least 10 hrs to travel #and i dont want her to die while im in the air but i also dont want her to suffer #i hope she gets better but if she doenst i hope its fast. there dont seem to do any good options. shes so tried and its so complicated #and if she does get better than this then what would that even mean? my sister says it doesnt feel like there will b a better anymore after #this. and bless her to the ends of the earth she reached out this morning and was giving me updates #comforting to kno im not just being dramatic. its actually just really bleak #its kinda funny tho. my sister was like meh it doesnt seem so bad and then like 10min later she was like yeah no i was wrong its sorta #horrible apprently shes been deterorating #god. if i go back home do i take clothes for a funeral? do i keep up to date with my genomics class? will i become offset from my graduate #cohort? will i get my wish to play with legos at home? all questions worth considering #well. ill deal with whatever comes. so it goes. itll b fine. i mean ill b fine #just sad ya kno?#three weeks ago she was alright and saying she could fly out to take care of me after oral surgery #now shes dying #unrelated

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todayisafridaynight · 2 months

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any hopes for kiwami 3? like things u wanna see added or changed stuff like that

if they dont keep kiryu's goofy walk stance and the hoof-like walk sounds i dont wanna play it

#snap chats #no one understands how much i love that from y3 and y4 its genuinely one of my favorite things about the game #oh but i guess i have to give an actual answer now. HMPH.#id scream if they revived kanda calling mine limp wristed. homophobia in 4k #OK BUT TO BE SERIOUS uhhhh i dont know. im a real simple guy i think #my only like. If This Isnt There Im Leaving deal is mine's palette and im so serious #rgg's scaring me with all the black-hair/purple-suit mine stuff as of late and i cant stress how hard ill vomit if thats in the final #HYPOTHETICAL final anyways. yk3 isnt coming out for. IDK A WHILE #i wanna say i hope they highlight daigo and mine's relationship more but i dont know how theyd do that #i really like how mine's handled in y3 as is so i dont think i want scenes injected like what they did with yk1 and nishiki #someone said a Mine Saga after the game and... hm ... sounds too unrealistic for me to hope for it #like im REALLY trying to think how they could possibly reference the rggo stories in y3 since those are EXCELLENT but #i think . MAYBE. you could reference the story where richardson calls mine as he's driving to the hospital #the only thing you'd have to exclude though is mine stopping by the bar- like JUST keep the phone conversation maybe #cause in that scene that subordinate does question mine if he can really kill daigo and i think thatd be neat. in my opinion.#yeah i dont know. in regards to rggo its hard to think of what i want without intervening things i already like about y3 #its a real head scratcher ...#a really good epilogue addition would be adapting that RGGO bit where daigo ruminates on mine. that's a fair ending for him i think #it also fulfills the need to see how daigo saw mine even if its just a little #and to non-rggo readers it could start to answer 'how does daigo feel about everything that happened'#im still so curious as to if daigo was briefed on EVERYTHING that happened but .... anyways....#sorry all my hopes for y3 are just mine/minedai centric fLVKELKA BUT LIKE. i really am content with everything else with y3 surprisingly #idk. i want kiryu fucking up that curry in high definition tho. thats important to me #THEY HAVE TO KEEP THE QTES DURING THE RICHARDSON FIGHT ILL BE PISSED #i need the fight to be AS CAMPY and unnecessary as it was in the og. INCLUDING richardson's voice acting i need it wack as hell #is it weird i actually appreciate the Diet Building Loredumping being like. in replayable-cutscene form #i thought id prefer just One Long cutscene but im glad theres the option to skip those segments #BUT being able to get a refresher in case you missed something somehow #im running out of tags jesus christ i shouldve put this in the main text but vjALjlagj those are all my thoughts for now bYE

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sailor-aviator · 3 months

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I think I might actually legitimately be at my limit. Like I think I've reached the end of my rope, actually

#liz's personal tag #it's really not that big a deal I think #it's just been tiny things all piling up #one after the fucking other #and i think i just made a goof at work because i can't find an email telling this lady that i'm attending her fair on wednesday #even though i have confirmations for the other three schools i'm going to #and outlook looooooooves to delete my fucking emails #so i'm hoping and praying that i did actually email to rsvp #or that she'll be willing to make an exception and let me come #i'm just so fucking tired of having to teach myself how to do shit at this job #because there's only so much the people around me know how to do or teach me #and my actual supervisor never sat me down and showed me how to do the things i needed to know how to do #so i'm constantly finding out that i don't know how to do stupidly simple things and then i look like a fucking moron #and i'm so tired of feeling stupid all the time and i just want to cry even though everyone knows it's not my fault #and fuck y'all i just feel so fucking stupid right now and i hate it and now i'm crying #anyway here's wonderwall

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merriclo · 3 months

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what if i write a modern au vidow fic where they’re both pissed off little emo kids. and what if they were also lesbians.

#vio getting a job at hot topic and the other links feel betrayed bc they all work at the local supermarket and have to deal w supermarket #customers. and it’s not fair bc vio gets to deal w little emo kids who think vio is super cool and awesome.#and vio’s like haha yeah!! it’s great!!! meanwhile they want to explode every damn second they’re on the clock.#and shadow’s their hot coworker who has a very weird way of flirting #sigh. i love weird au’s. especially w vidow.#and yeah i told yall i immediately make all my fave doomed toxic yaoi into doomed toxic yuri #i fucking meant it yknow #this is gonna be terrible. i’m so excited #i reblog a post abt fanon mischaracterization and now i’m saying this #first thing yall should know abt me is that i’m a fucking hypocrite <3

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gammija · 1 year

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i love s4, and im enjoying listening to it with the magaday, but i forgot it would also lead to the worst thing: seeing people interpret media differently than me on the internet OTL

#NOT a big deal #but as an enjoyer of nuance and complicated characters and the tragedy of people doing their best and still failing #I can't help but want to constantly correct posts saying 'Georgie said she prefered Jon dead!' (she didn't #; Jon accused her of that and Basira asked her to leave before they could talk it out)#and 'everyone is blaming Jon for Tim and Daisy's deaths' -> only Melanie is‚ as far as we've heard;#not that everyone is being nice or fair to jon; not at all #but this framing of the situation as jon on one side and everyone else on the other is just so much more boring #than the web of relationships and mistakes and misplaced blame that is implied #and the former is how you get analyses that are objectively wrong like 'no one let Jon speak in 199!!' -> literally by word count and #time spend speaking he talks the most out of anyone in the discussion #but it's not 50/50 jon/others because every character in tma is the protagonist of their own story #like of course it wouldve been nicer if georgie had immediately protested that she didn't want jon to die #but playing that out in my mind; it feels like exactly the kind of argument that jons ex specifically would be tired of having #even if the context is different now #and to me the way it's possible to construct these unspoken reasons and stories for the side characters is the coolest shit #and that's lost if Georgie just said 'I hoped you died Jon‚' because... ? because it's s4 so everyone is just mean to Jon?#even though she's the one visiting him in hospital in the first place?#joos yaps #delete later #nah she's just a mean girl. mean women bullying jon all season #nothing more to it than that

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pochapal · 4 months

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a good question to consider is if "solve the epitaph or die" was ever explicitly a challenge issued by anybody here.

#umineko liveblog #the original riddle meant it as metaphorical #and if you assume this is about succession then the killings stop making sense #so it feels very much like that's an easy to read assumption into the grey area that isn't actually there #like. the implication here would be that solving the epitaph would stop the killings #so including that is almost an implicit demand from beatrice for the family to try to stop her #but given what we know about who is most likely orchestrating this #'i am going to kill you all but please also do your best to stop me i promise i'll play fair' doesn't make sense #however this does feed into the whole 'the culprit wants their crimes to be solved' deal i thought about earlier in the story #and if you're deliberately making solvable crimes is that not the same thing as wanting to be stopped?#maybe feeding back into the magic as gamble thing?#a crime can only be magical if you have decent odds of being stopped and succeeding anyway #which is all logical and makes sense but there's not a single person in this story that line of thinking maps onto #kinzo is the closest but kinzo has explicitly been ruled out like fifty times over #so bluhhhhhh i don't know!!!! beatrice your contradictory ways haunt and vex me

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beautifel · 8 months

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seems like my heart does nothing but break lately

#oh my god dont read the tags. it breaks for everyone :( but on a more personal level #for my gf whos sinking deeper into something n i cant even help bc im a wreck myself but i am so so scared to lose her #still havent even been able to book a psych appointment n i rlly dont know where to go with all these ..em*tions #Guys i rlly dont understand one thing. how come one random freak whos in ur life at some point can derail a whole person like eons later #jeopardise their whole future just by crossing some lines for funz i really dont understand this #not fair not fair at all this is evil #and becasue u got unlucky someone wanted to be disgusting u have to carry the consequences #i rly still cant even say it i still cant even write it #i dont even know how . irl the only perosn i told in some capacity #is dealing with her own trauma and i hate that jsut being understanding is not enoughlike #Wow Lmao Its just Funny How it Shapes You. & U Can Never bury it forever becuz it will always catch up to you😂😂😂😂😂😂#AND THE PAST CAN NEVER BE ERASED 😃😃😁😁😂😂😂🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔪🔪#at least my gf has been taking steps to deal with it for.3 yrs and i just never even #LOL i feel like such a coward but the sh*me and the g**lt associated with the Thing..r so overwhelming i cant even admit it #what would i even do at the psych appointment like straight up what am i gonna say Lol #hai iam here to process something i dont actually remember probably becasue i was a child but imnot sure. n id rather #kms than tell u how i know 😂. So thats also why my heart breaks. for that little girl who was a ball of shame i guess and no matter #how much i cognitively.like rationally know its not my fault the ball of shame n guilt is still there #n it swallows me every time i vaguely start 2 think about acknowledging the Th*ng #or whatever. And thats just my end of the deal but my gf has it worse genuinely bc she remembers everything n still has to see the freak #n it went on for yrs n her family doesnt know n heres the worst thing hes a beloved family member a sweet boy with struggles of his own #well i hope he walks into traffic for doing what he did to her

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ilovedthestars · 8 months

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maybe it's just me, but i feel like i'm seeing a lot of posts lately where a reblog complains that the post has been marked with a "mature content" community label, with the implication that this is Unjust, and i'm like.......yeah? that feels reasonable for this post?

"mature content" does not mean "this post is Bad and Wrong," it just means it, like, talks about or depicts sex-related stuff in some detail. if your post is about sex or kink or something and it gets a mature content label, that's not persecution, that's just...a label. so it can be filtered by people who want to filter that stuff (and people who don't can turn the setting off).

i am willing to believe that the community labels are being applied disproportionately, and some things that maybe should have labels are getting by because they're more socially normative while queer stuff/etc is more strongly enforced. and if so, that's a problem. but that's a different problem than "someone put a mature content label on my post that talks about sex, which means they think it's Bad and Wrong"

#stars rambles #this is perhaps a hotter take than i usually share on tumblr dot com #and i Will delete it if it starts getting a lot of notes #because i do not want to deal with that #maybe my bar is in a different place than other peoples? i just keep seeing people complain about the labels and being like...seems fair th #and in a couple cases the reaction truly does seem to be coming from the assumption that a mature content label means Bad #which....feels like it's fueled by exactly the thing it's objecting to #maybe delete later

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hella1975 · 1 year

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choked up in my room rn bc i was sat in the car with my mum completely lost in thought and she out of nowhere went 'are you okay?' and i was like 'yeah? why?' bc i was totally fine i was literally just thinking and she let it go and then five entire minutes later she goes 'are you sure? have i done something?' and she sounded so genuinely anxious and i could tell she'd been thinking about it the entire 5 minutes while id been completely oblivious and i spent so many years as a child letting everything bottle up until it all burst out in a messy and ugly breakdown that took her down with me and despite that she never hated me she only ever blamed herself for not seeing the signs and she's never been able to see my signs because i keep everything to myself and it terrifies her that she might miss something and she handles things poorly when she's scared and she gets too angry but fundamentally she's trying her absolute hardest to be a good mother and it wasn't always enough and i know i have to hold her at least partially accountable but also she's my mum and im her daughter and she always just wants to know if im okay and most of the time im not and somehow that feels like ive betrayed her

#like my mum is such a loud powerful force of a woman that these little moments of vulnerability where she's just HONEST with me #and she shows me that she's worried or scared or unsure instead of just constantly putting up a strong front #always always bowl me over #like ive literally said to her time and time again that i'd find it easier to communicate with her if she wasn't so strong all the time #like of course i hate crying and being emotional in front of you when youve made it v clear my whole life that you hate doing that #when it's you that's the one being emotional like that's not fair #but also being strong all the time is literally a survival thing she had no choice but to implement bc her own life was so hard #so how can i just ask her to lower those walls for me? even if keeping them up is to both our detriment?#and like ive talked on here before how she's openly admitted to me that she finds my temper harder to handle than my sister's #even tho mine is quieter and significantly less messy. but she's also said to me that in general she finds my sister easier to deal with #bc my sister's so open and if she's angry she yells if she's sad she cries if she's happy she talks ur ear off etc etc #i just insist on handling everything myself and the worse i feel the more i deal on my own and it TERRIFIES my mum #BECAUSE it's led to mistakes in the past but also just bc i have never ever doubted that she has so much love for me in her heart #like even when our relationship was at its worst it was never ever a lack of love and she just does genuinely care and worry about me #it's just if she's scared she just gets ANGRY and her angry means her hurting my feelings and my feelings being hurt means i shut down MORE #and it's literally the worst combo but we love each other so much that we're both clawing through it anyway it makes me want to cry #and because she's always so strong i FORGET that there's just a scared vulnerable person behind those walls #that has no idea what she's doing bc her own mum never taught her anything good #and my mum blames herself so completely for every bad thing like she says things like 'i feel like ive failed' and idk how to tell her #that she IS messy and incredibly flawed and she HAS done things that have hurt me beyond comprehension #and there are bad parts of my personality that exist because of her and her alone #but ive also done terrible things to her too like not even considering the fact our responses arent compatible and that hurts her #i also did some DUMB shit when i first started tackling ye olde mental illness that had a HUGELY negative impact on everyone around me #but she is still my favourite person in the world and my best friend and i love her and i know she loves me and i just want to hold her #girls when their mum isnt an all powerful being but instead a flawed human trying their best: SKJDGHKDJSHGJKSDHGJKSH #hella goes home

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takashi0 · 8 months

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Wanted to ask, how goes your experience with the Sonic Frontiers DLC? I’ve finally put the beast behind me.

I HATE THE SNAKE TRIAL

#Sonic Frontiers #I GENUINELY HOPE WHOEVER DECIDED TO MAKE THIS STUPID TIME LIMIT GOT KICKED IN THE NUTS #THIS ISN'T EVEN REMOTELY FAIR #I FEEL LIKE THE NOSTALGIA CRITIC IN THE BEBE'S KIDS GAME REVIEW #I CAN EAT MY WAY THROUGH A WALL FASTER THAN I CAN DEAL WITH THESE BASTARDS AND YOU WANT ME TO KILL THEM IN #TWO #FUCKING #MINUTES?!?!!!#AND DON'T YOU FUCKING TELL ME TO PARRY THE SAW BLADES #IT DOESN'T HELP #IT DOES NOT HELP IN THE SLIGHTEST IT DOESN'T FUCKING WORK

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