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#i want to hold onto him and never let go
shamblespirate · 5 months
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skunkes · 4 months
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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boysborntodie · 8 months
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Could Johnnyboy fans tell me about the ship’s appeal (apart from they’re besties and cute together) because I really want get into the ship but it just doesn’t click for me
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toasteaa · 19 days
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Wait. Cute, lighthearted thoughts have struck: Neuvillette unconsciously emoting with his horns.
The way they perk up subtly and curl just a bit at the ends when he's happy or content. The way they get a little droopy and flat at the end when he's upset. I just...
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CUTE! WIGGLY!!! KISSABLE!!!!
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braceletofteeth · 3 months
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Support verb.
1. to uphold or defend as valid or right;
2. to encourage, comfort, help, etc., under trial or affliction.
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quietwingsinthesky · 22 days
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im going to lay here and think about pond family cuddle piles until i fall asleep
#and i shall paint u a picture before i go. ahem.#one must imagine of course that rory is the natural foundation of the cuddle pile#he is not very squishy or padded well for laying on but he can sit still for long periods of time. which is not a skill 2/3 of the others#have and to be honest river only Arguably has it when she knows she’s getting something out of it at the end#so rory is the foundation whom all others lay on top of#and once he’s down amy is too and she is going to sprawl all over on top of him if the doctor doesn’t claim some space quickly. she will#take all of the rory for herself. she is greedy and also wants to be comfy.#amy pond face squished into her husband in a way that should make it impossible to breathe and with her arms and legs all tangled around him#in ways that should not be comfortable and yet. rory is used to this. he likes it.#i think eleven cuddles like dogs do when they get on the couch with you and your lap isn’t free so they sort of lay next to you and push the#their back up against your side as hard as they can and stretch out and sigh. and eventually wiggle their head into your lap anyway.#thats how eleven snuggles. belly up and paws out. if he can wriggle under amy’s arm where she’s got it hooked around rory? even better#and then river. and river’s the hardest to get into the cuddle pile for many Many reasons but. i think there’s a foolproof way the three of#them have found how to do it. and it involves first the doctor flopping on top of amy and rory and looking so so cute and cuddly and making#happy relaxed noises to tempt river over. and then involves rory scooching beneath the two of them to make it ibvious that there’s room for#river if she wants it. and then when she does get lured down with them. its amy who finds her and squirms over closer to hold her. eyes shut#pretending she’s asleep and doesn’t know she’s doing it.#river’s never at ease at first but she has to let herself. the doctor moves to lay more of his weight on her as well as rory and ground her.#team (family) effort to get river to let her guard down completely and relax.#in the most normal family way ever aksjfkfjskd which is why amy is clinging onto her like River’ll disappear if she lets go#nornal family. normal cuddling. i think they all pet the doctor like a puppy while theyre doing this
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mad-hunts · 27 days
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derpinette · 9 months
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too many males getting veneers when really they should be investing in hair transplants if anything
#you can clearly afford it & you are going to turkey for it anyway#& do NOT cheap out replace that whole scalp you never know how ruthless norwood is going to be on you else you get The Hair Band#just do it in one surgery#i advocate for teeth crookedness anyway i wish i could just yank out my braces to push my canines into yaeba i especially like#that thing people have where they teeth grow atop of others my cousin had that but the dentist just REMOVED them instead of realigning...#really makes me wish death on aesthetic dentistry STOP that madness.#i sincerely believe that teeth hold so much character & it genuinely pains me to see people get them replaced with chiclet piano keys#all straight & uniform uber white colored YUCK#honestly having thin hair as a male is a sign of genetic failure whereas misaligned teeth is not#at least you can fix that with braces that you will later take off ( when will it be my turn to... ) nothing added All You#it really sickens me to see just goes to show poor decision making skills. thin hair is infinitely more humiliating than “ugly” teeth#but there are situations where better teeth aremore of an improvement TBH if a man wants to self harm for looks go ahead IDC but ♯JustSayin#i wish you could have seen it but one time a classmate came to class to let our teacher know that he was leaving in the seventh grade#& she was like Erm why what excuse could you possibly have & he uncovered his mouth to reveal several of his teeth broken & missing#turns out he had them knocked out by an upperclassman who pushed him onto a pole while playing a game#i still laugh out loud whenever i remember it was so absurd literally the last thing i expected it was like a tom & jerry gag IRL#he was crazy rich so thankfully he got them all replaced like immediately but imagine being anyone in that situation. even the mom#i mean i felt bad for him that must have been so painful but i cannot help but burst into laughter whenever i remember
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seventh-district · 2 months
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I'm probably far from the first person to say this, but you can't tell me that this song doesn't just scream Aventurine, c'mon.
#like. i don't even need to explain it do i. the lyrics are Right There they speak for themselves#aventurine#hsr aventurine#honkai star rail#hsr#Seven.txt#music stuff#panic! at the disco#p!atd#another song + character commentary post wow mayhaps i'll start making more of these but i fear people and their Opinions#but whatever. if i don't distract myself with a silly little tumblr post im gonna have a meltdown so. here. character commentary be upon ye#anyways listening to this and thinking of Aven gives me chills every single time i can't help it#as usual if u disagree feel free to keep that shit to yourself this is just my opinion let me have it in peace#Spotify#'oh but it's too Positive! he's actually miserable inside! he wouldn't embody this song that's just the mask he puts up!!!'#yeah ur right. and who said i wasn't talking about the mask#i'm not saying that this song embodies his truest self necessarily. but i think it does suit Some aspect of him#maybe the side that's trying to keep going. the side that picks him up off the floor and pushes himself out into the world day after day#forcing himself to find whatever scraps of hope he can hold onto. the song doesn't say '*Had* to have high hopes' for no reason#i dunno i'm just spitballin here. there's plenty of ways you can see Aven in this song. if u Want to#if you've never peeled urself off the bathroom floor and washed tears off your face while playing the most upbeat song you can find-#-to try and summon the motivation to keep going in spite of how u just spent 20mins wishing for it all to be over. well#well then u just can't understand my vision here
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cerberin · 7 months
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9 months ago i was so sad and distraught but now!!! now i’m so much better!! and i’m happy!!
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fish-and-forbear · 2 years
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I think I am doing okay, here.
I wish so many things could have been different. My heart aches for it. But I wouldn't have found my voice, otherwise, nor would I have met so many wonderful people and creatures.
I wish the other one would worry less. It's very silly to realize he thought I was the panicked one... now I've organized my mind and honed my edge, and he's the one who keeps feeling down...
I don't entirely understand why... life is very good. Everyone is getting a little better. It aches because I can feel it like a physical creature clawing in the skull, and whispering all of the misery in this world, the atrocities, the tragedies, the possibilities of so many things ending, or of getting hurt or worse for who he is. And being afraid for the people he cares about...
But that doesn't help us sleep right now. It doesn't change that tomorrow morning the sun will rise and we don't have work and we could do anything, within reason of course.
I'm not sure. Maybe I am the stupid one for being so positive. But one of us has to be, now.
Maybe it's just my instincts waking up again. It's so easy to throw my aching heart and memories away when someone I care about needs me. And right now, once more, we just need to rest.
Nothing bad is even happening! We had a nice day. We talked to friends, we played a game and lost track of time because it was so much fun. I liked that game and the name is appropriate, Loop Hero. Ironic but fitting! We helped a friend feel better after a nightmare. And now it's OUR turn to rest.
Nothing is wrong. Everything is alright. Many big steps forward this coming week. I feel his worry creeping into my heart too, but there's no need for it. We were brave and confident before, we can be that way again. :)
- Grist
#system journaling#see I can remember what words I need to use...! Sometimes.#I think I made him sad because my friends have their own blogs now and I immediately wanted to look at them#he let me but it just made him upset. But why? I chose to unfollow. He felt better after that. Why worry?#I am familiar and content with friendships between firey souls that do not last very long.#Better to rest them down gently. You should always leave friends at least a little bit better than you found them#If I did that then I am happy :)#I just wish he would believe me that it's alright... I know who I am... even if other people see me as a mistake that's fine#I've been around too long to care too much about that. Even from my own family. Trauma makes long bonds difficult#Sometimes when they are healed they can rekindle but..... foresight is a gift and a curse for these things. Better to let them go entirely#than hold onto what isn't there.#... I think he needs to talk to his friend again. The one that lives here.#I think he needs closure that these things are alright. After all that was 8 years and they are so much happier now :)#Hmm. This is getting long#I will let it rest. The heart is already a little softer and everything is less tense. His memory is AWFUL and he can never remember what I#talk about on my own but hopefully he will see that I am content and stop worrying so much about me. And focus more on better things#like making my damned music list like he keeps saying he will! But that is a joke to make him laugh :) There is never any rush.
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detective-piplup · 13 days
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okay but like I joke about how much I like fireknight and how it consumes so many of my waking thoughts but it actually does . it does so much to me. a lot of it was built through fanon and clinging onto scraps from the games bc i doubt devsis will ever let them interact again but they are like insane to me.
fire spirit’s weird relationship with affection and love is also part of why I like them so much yes that was the source of the divine visions earlier .
nobody look at the tags of this post.
#he’s not built to love or love normally but he wants to. “they say true love is like an eternal flame”#he has that as one of his dialouge lines and actually I’ll never shut up about it man he can pine so hard#but he doesn’t know what to DO with that pining because he IS the fire. he finds something he loves and he wants to consume it#make it a part of him. it’s like fuel to a fire. and a fire will not stop consuming that fuel until it’s all gone or until it’s forced away#he destroys what he loves because it’s in his nature. he causes the end of the world in two of his costumes#“I don't care if even I disappear. ... That might even be better.” hey man I hate you. get onto my writing pages#but anyway this changes in fireknight because while knight is this image of heroic values. he’s also protection#he’s loyalty until there’s nothing left of him to serve what he believes in. and even past that he will protect what he loves#where fire spirit is destruction. knight is preservation.#and fire spirit loves him. he loves him down to his very being and core and he wants to be with knight and make him his#and if knight reciprocates then he is the same. and that is terrifying for fire spirit#because if knight let him consume all there was of him then he would. and despite how he loves him and to love he causes destruction#he doesn’t want a world without him. so he pushes knight away#and he pushes too far despite how much he wishes to dig his claws into him and never let go. never be separated and to thrive with the fuel#and this hurts him. he’s without something to fuel him. he falls to ashes then painful flames then back to normal then over and over#and he tries to forget but he just wishes he could love normally. love something and not destroy it#love something that can be like an eternal flame. something that won’t be lost because he holds it#eventually I think he figures out how to deal with it more but since they met pretty early in fire spirits godhood (to me at least)#he doesn’t have any idea how to handle any of it at first#And he wants his knight back. he needs a ground to walk on#he claws and begs for something he himself pushed away#you can’t have your cake and eat it too#Knight is also a criminally insane homosexual but fire spirit takes it to unprecedented levels
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screampied · 20 days
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✩ㅤ cw. fem! reader, unprotected, established relationship, vırgin nanami, cowgirl, praise, size kink, premature ejac, mdni.
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virgin nanami loses it once you tell him to ditch the condom.
“sweetheart, i—” he’d swallow, choking up on his words once cool air settles against his skin. he swallows, chewing on his bottom lip once he feels a brand new feeling. the rubbery latex wasn’t blocking him anymore, and he groans once his swollen tip smears up against your entrance. soaked, he grows quiet once he looks down to see your dripping pussy hovering over his reddened frenulum that’s tearing up with glossed pre-cum. “god, ‘s warm,” the blond sucks in a single quickened breath as a curling pout twists against his lips. “a- are you sure?”
“ ‘m sure, baby,” you whisper up against the hot shell of his ear. he’s so warm, his entire body arouse with temperature all because of the sweet sound of your voice. the center of your palm rubs against his cheek and he leans into your touch. metaphoric heart eyes form in his eyes as they dilate, his own thumping heart beating out of his chest. “ ‘s okay, inside.”
“f- fuck,” nanami’s head gradually tosses itself back, and with quick alignment, he’s back inside. he kisses his teeth once he feels the real thing, your silvery walls massaging around him. the glossy sweat that pours onto his skin shines against his body glimmers brightly. he groans, letting off a soft whine once he feels the brief tightness grow snug. “you’re gonna make me—”
and within seconds, he’s cumming, hard. nanami barely even last a second after you take off the rubber, and he’s an entire mess. with a firm grasp, he’s reanimating your hips with his hands as you slowly jerk and move. “please,” he gently pierces his teeth into your neck, shivering breath ghosting against your skin. “don’t stop, s- show me how to feel good, please.”
his words were like a broken rough whisper — you pause, staring into his eyes and he’s sincere.
nanami’s heavily panting, beads of sweat racing down each sides of his forehead. fawn kind eyes bore into yours before he glances down at your sprawled out legs. “so pretty,” he hiccups, and even his touch was delicate. he was always gentle, he didn’t want to hurt you. a few thick padded fingers drag and scurry down your hips before his lip quivers. “i- i want you, i want more.”
“so have me then,” you coo against his ear, the tone of your voice more teasing than anything. as your hips start to salaciously rock into him again, you grab onto both of his wrists, trying to guide him. “there we go, ‘ken,” you whisper, and you can hear a bundle of wanton whimpers leave from his lips—never has he had a feeling like this, ever. he was so weak from your touch, your body heat, your taste. as your fingers tenderly brush against his, you make him cling onto your rickety waist. “hold me, like this.”
nanami groans, and he’s still sensitive, very. he just came, ribbons of balmy hot seed shoots deep into you and it’s warm. it makes both of his ears ring and he only wants more, more, more.
“okay,” he replies in a husky voice, and you can see blond shaggy strands of hair glue across his forehead. “o- okay,” he repeats, his tone dropping a bit lower. the bed mercilessly creaks as your rocking accelerates, his bulbous tip jabbing around every part of your cunt. once you show him how to touch you, he just can’t keep his hands off of you. “i dreamt about this for so long, sweetheart,” and he watches your pretty lips contort into an amused simper. “s- sorry, is that too dirty?”
“it’s fine baby,” you plant a kiss near the inside of his neck. a long breath gets caught in his throat. he’s about to say something else but he pauses, pouting deeply. cute, he’s embarrassed. nanami’s cock continues to rummage through your doughy insides, so much pressure that you feel it everywhere. your sappy folds squelch within each solid thrust before your arms wrap around his broad shoulders. “you dream about me?”
“sometimes, yeah,” he huffs, and the irregular unkempt thrusts slowly transform into pure blissful sync. nanami looks so pretty, he’s losing the more you bounce on his cock. so good, his jaw tightens and he’s feeling every vein in his body prod. you were starting to grow dumb as each second past and your moans only grew louder right with him. nanami’s head buries itself into your neck before he lefts off a frustrated whine. “it’s hard not to when you’re so pretty,” and his voice cracks at the end. you feel the tip of his tongue swirl around near your collarbone and you gasp. “god, you’re even prettier inside t- too.”
“yeah?” you whisper, creating a trail of sloppy kisses down the slip of his exposed neck. he’s moaning more at your touch. you feel his beefy thigh start to bounce before his palm squeezes against your bare ass. “you gonna cum for me again, kento? ‘s okay, be a good boy ‘n make a mess for me.”
a sheepish smile stretches against his lips, though instead of sheepish smile—it’s more of a pussy drunk one.
as you stare at him, his dimples poke against both sides of his cheeks and he’s getting lost into the way your hips twirl around him. “your good boy, mhm. all yours, ‘m gonna cum a- again,” and his voice lowers significantly. your clit’s profusely getting thwacked and mashed up against his fattened tip and it’s so appetizing. with nanami’s soft mousy eyes flicking backward until it’s nothing but pure white in his sockets, he gives your ass a soft spank. “k- keep riding me like that ‘n i’m gonna fall in love.”
and it’s right as he said that — he came again.
this time it’s a lot more. it’s thicker and languidly, you feel it spew out in velvety strips. his entire base was flaccid and he’s just idle inside of you. nanami’s whimpering underneath you as his legs finally collapse. you watch him fall back against the cushioned pillows and he’s so flustered. “mhh,” he grouses as multiple jittery pants leave from his lips. nanami wraps strong burly arms around you, holding you close. “stay,” he rasps, still hearing the sloshes of his dribbling cum trickle in and out of you. he’s shivering, his teeth shattering and he’s never felt more sensitive. he’s definitely in love.
“okay,” you nod, feeling him hide his head into the crook of your neck again. he’s so clingy—but you didn’t mind, and his warm breath tickles against your skin. you get a brief scent of his rich cologne scent that drives forevermore drove you weak. sitting up to press a chaste kiss against his twitching ruby lips, you whisper shakily. “good boy.”
and nanami’s eyes were so half lidded, your praises—he couldn’t get enough of them. seconds later and he’s still pouring into you deep, painting your gummy walls with his pristine-white color. with droopy eyes and flapping long lashes taking in your beauty, nanami whines. “more, don’t stop fucking me,” and you let off a gasp once he suddenly lifts you off his lap, lying you flat on your back. you land with a soft ‘oof’ before he spreads your legs, gazing at the satiny masses of cum that race down the crevices of your thighs.
“please,” and you moan once he drags his tongue up your legs, stopping towards your puffy clit. “teach me h- how to eat this,” and his eyes rove towards your slobbering cunt. you feel butterflies build up in your tummy before nanami’s quite literally drooling right before you. not only was he probably in love, he was also hungry.
“please mistress.”
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fairy-angel222 · 4 months
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𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐯! 𝐆𝐨𝐣𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞 ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
He’s been stealing your panties since the week he met you. Collecting them in different pretty colors and fabrics. Using them to jerk off every night with the groan of your name. Stuffing them under his nose or using them to stroke his cock, either way had him cumming to the thought of you all the same.
He takes your stuff and holds them over your head. Watching your tits bounce as you whined and struggled to reach. Smirking widely as he teased, “if you want it back so bad then kiss me.” Blood rushing to his cock when you actually get on your tip toes to kiss him shortly, forcing your lips to stay on his when you try to pull away.
Who pretends to be asleep until he hears your soft moans at one in the morning. Quietly cracking open your door to watch you touch yourself, his hard cock already in hand as you moaned and mewled so fucking prettily. Stroking at the pace of your desperately working fingers till you two orgasm at the same time.
Who ‘accidentally’ sends you a video of him lazily jerking off on his bed, his lip in between his teeth and his other hand behind his head as he looks directly into the camera. The message coming through followed by a small “oops, sorry sweetheart, wrong person”
Who starts getting bolder and bolder even after you suspect him of being the reason for your missing underwear. Leaving slight yet noticeable touches to your ass and boobs whenever he had the chance. Always laughing it off and joking about how soft you were and about how perfectly your tits fit in his hand.
Who calls you up to his room when he’s about to cum, his lips parting in heavy breaths as you walked in clad in your short pajama set. Your eyes widening as he fisted his length, eyes meeting yours with a loud groan as he spilled onto his hand. “Shit, can you grab me that box of tissue?” Letting out heavy breaths with a dark grin.
Who starts walking around the house with nothing but low hanging sweats to get you flustered. Brushing up against you or wrapping his toned arms around your body. His rock like abs against your back as he whispered into your ear. “Well these shorts are shorter than usual.” Loving the way your face heated up for him.
Who starts to make you sit in his lap for everything. Saying that you weren’t allowed to watch tv unless you did it from his lap. Or that you couldn’t seat at the table to eat breakfast unless it was again, on his lap.
Who suddenly wants to spend all his time with you so that you couldn’t go out as often. He wanted you, and would make you his at some point.
Who finally sinks his cock into your tight pussy after teasing you subtly all day. “Waited so long for this.” He grunted, his thumb running over your bottom lip which was swollen from all his rough kissing. “Feels even better than i expected.”
You cried out loudly, small whimpers falling past your parted lips as his hold on your legs tightened. Holding them in place over his shoulders as he fucked into you harshly. Thick cot brushing against your g spot as it hammered deep.
“That’s it, just take it baby. Please mama? Take it f’me yeah?” He breathed, his head in your neck as he licked and sucked dark marks onto your skin. Snapping his hips into yours in oute need, not being able to get enough of the moment that he dreamed for so long about.
“Does that feel good baby?” Watching as you nodded with a teary cry, your eyes fluttering shut as your back arched off his sheets.
“Look at me.” he groaned, your eyes peeling open to meet his as you both filled the room with your noises. “Wanna fill you up so bad, pussy’s so fucking perfect.”
“S-satoruu— nngh,”
“Oh fuck baby, let me hear my name again.” He breathed, hand snaking lightly around your neck. Your choked moans and babbles getting louder as your stomach tightened. Gojo never slowing his pace as he fucked you dumb.
“Haah, Sat-oruu, ahh,” you mewled, your pussy tightening as your body began to tremble. Gripping onto the sheets at your side at the orgasmic build up.
“Can feel you getting close, squeezing me so tight,” Gojo grunted, lewd squelching sounds filling your ears each time his cock bullied its way deep. “I’ve got you baby, cum f’me.” His hand squeezed down on your throat, your wet eyes meeting piercing blue ones with a chant of his name. His cock twitching inside you as your pussy messily thanked his cock.
“O-oh fuck- ‘m never letting you go you know that? Wanted you for way too long.” His eyes fixed on yours as you shook your head.
You felt so good, and he found him self unable to come to a stop even as he got close.
“S-satoru—”
“C-can’t baby, feels so good, shit— gotta cum in you.” Pressing his lips onto yours to muffle your whines as he gave his final sloppy thrusts. His hips flush against yours as he buried himself deep inside you with a moan. His eyes rolling back as he spilled into you, pumping ropes after ropes of the sticky substance onto your walls.
Gojo pulled away with a satisfied breath, swiping his tongue across his lips with an unapologetic smile at the look on your face. “Sorry princess.”
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luveline · 4 months
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hotch's little sister x spencer perhaps?
—Hotch’s sister graduates college, and Spencer is immediately smitten. fem, 1.6k
“She’s pregnant.” Emily shakes her bag of chips around. “But it’s not his baby.” 
Spencer frowns down at his sandwich. Rye bread is hard to cut, and the plastic knife isn’t putting up a good fight. “That’s awful,” he says. “He must be heartbroken.” 
“He’s distraught. Now he can’t decide if he wants to stay and raise the new baby with their first, or leave her and have split custody.” 
“What channel did you say it was on?” 
“It’s on NightDrama. I’ll find out the number.” 
Emily folds the empty packet of chips into a rectangle, then that rectangle into a triangle, folding the edges inside of a fold to create a parcel perfect for flicking at him. Spencer waits for it, tensing, but what he sees behind Emily steals his attention. 
She whips her head to follow him. 
You are, as Spencer watches you walk in, without a doubt one of the prettiest girls he’s ever seen. And it’s not like you’re a model, you don’t walk with any such confidence, but it strikes him immediately. You’re pretty. And he’s never seen you in the office before. 
They get visitors occasionally but the majority of people so deep into this office would've been checked at security and cleared to come up here. You hold a visitors badge in your hand, which you promptly clip onto your shirt when you see people looking at you. Your frown makes you prettier. Something about the way you stand seems familiar, but Spencer can’t put his finger on what it is. 
“Should we go help?” Emily asks. 
“Who do you think she’s for?” Spencer asks back. He’s thinking you’re here to speak to JJ. They have people like this occasionally who JJ knows from past cases, drifting in on a hope that there’s more detail to be found. 
Emily stands up from her chair. Spencer follows suit. When you see her facing toward you, some of your apprehension melts into relief. 
“Hi,” you say breathily, summoning a smile that, again, seems familiar. Not in looks, but practise, maybe. 
“Hi there, can we help? You look lost,” Emily says. 
She sounds more friendly than Spencer could’ve hoped to achieve. He doesn’t even wanna think about it, from how pretty you are he would’ve stumbled over even the most basic hello. 
“I’m here to see Aaron Hotchner. He told me his office is up the stairs, is that still one of these ones,” —you nod gently at the stairs that do, in fact, lead to his office— “or somewhere else?” 
“That’s the right one, the very first door.” 
“Okay,” you give a soft laugh. “Thank you. This place makes me nervous.” 
You leave to travel up the steps. Emily and Spencer watch without any casualness as you approach Hotch’s office door, and give a little knock. 
It’s more surprising to see it tugged open so quickly after. Hotch usually says, “Come in.” 
“Oh, you’re here,” Hotch says. It’s to Spencer’s shock and Emily’s clear joy when he leans in for a hug. The bearhug kind, no politeness or manners about their intimidating boss as his arms cross behind your shoulders and he pulls you in. “You’re late.” He squeezes you. 
You let it happen. “I hate your building.” 
“What the hell?” Emily whispers. 
“I’m so happy to see you. Come on, come in, I ordered lunch for us already.” 
Emily is shameless. She takes Spencer by the wrist and encourages him to the wall below Hotch’s office as he ushers you inside. The door remains ajar, perfect for snooping, and Spencer doesn’t know what it is but he lets Emily drag him forward anyhow. 
“If that’s his girlfriend, he should be ashamed,” Emily whispers. 
Spencer raises his brows. “Did you think that was romantic?” 
“I’ve never seen him show affection to anyone who wasn’t Haley, and when was the last time she was here?” 
Spencer tosses it around in his mind. Sure, it was quite affectionate by Hotch’s standards, but the hug was so… uncareful. He’d grabbed you and hugged you like he was gonna shake you around for fun, like a dad hugs his daughter. “How old is Hotch?” Spencer asks. 
“You don’t think that’s his secret kid.” 
“No,” Spencer says, though he sort of does. 
Emily gestures for him to hush as your laugh drifts down from the office. “You did?” you’re asking. “It’s so nice to be home.” 
“Of course I did. It’s like I promised, okay? You finished college like I asked you too, you’ve done so well, and now I’m gonna make sure you’re happy. Like I tried to do for Sean.” 
“Sean,” you sigh. “He didn’t even answer my grad card.” 
“I don’t know what to say about him, I really don’t.” 
A small pause. “Well, at least you answered.” 
“You know I would’ve come to watch you walk–”
“But you couldn’t. It’s fine, Aaron, I wasn’t really expecting you to make it.” 
“I’m sorry. Really. And I’m proud of you, after everything.”
“Thank you… The bag was better than you being there anyways. Coach?” You laugh breathily. “My friends keep asking me if you can be their big brother too.” 
Emily and Spencer turn to each other, mouths agape, Emily slapping his arm as they struggle to make no noise. Since when does Aaron have a sister? A young sister freshly graduated? 
Hotch laughs too. “Come and sit before your lunch gets cold.” 
Emily gets out her phone to text Morgan, she and Spencer pressed to the wall with their heads ducked. Hotch is a total enigma, because what the hell sort of secret is that?
When Morgan appears, it’s with all the answers. He rolls his eyes at their clear position of eavesdropping but leans against Emily’s desk to give them the information they’re craving anyways. “She’s adopted. Hotch was already in college at the time, but they’re close. They get along a lot better than Hotch does with Sean, that’s for sure.” 
“He sounds protective,” Emily says, side-eying the office. 
“Look, it’s not my business, but I just know it was bad when she was a teenager. Hotch is a drill sergeant for a reason.” Ah, Spencer thinks. The Hotchner father. 
Spencer picks at his hands. It explains the conversation he shouldn’t have been listening to, to a degree. He feels the guilt of knowing something he wasn’t meant to like a sodden weight, retreating swiftly to his desk and his forgotten sandwich.
It’s nice to hear Hotch laughing, but it’s your laugh that draws him in again while he tries so hard not to listen. It’s as attractive to Spencer as your frown had been when you walked in. He thinks about how you finished college, how you’re here, and he wonders if he’ll see more of you —how often will you come in for lunch? Spencer checks his hair in his sleeping monitor and feels like an idiot. 
“I’m sorry,” Hotch says a little while later, elbowing open the door with his back to the office, “we’ll have dinner soon, honey, I promise.” 
You reach up to give him another quick hug. “It’s fine. It’s just nice to be in the same city again.” 
Hotch guides you down to the bullpen with the same pride with which he introduced Jack. It’s unmissable, the love he has for you in just one touch against your shoulder. “Y/N,” he says, pausing at the bullpen, “Derek Morgan you’ve met. This is Emily Prentiss and Spencer Reid.” 
“Spencer Reid?” you ask suddenly, looking up into Hotch’s face like he’s lying, your brows pulled together in indignation, before you turn back to Spencer reverently. “You’re Dr. Spencer Reid?” 
He gets caught on his own breath. “Uh, yes?” 
“The Dr. Spencer Reid who wrote Methods of Continued Fraction Expansions?” 
Spencer feels heat like a kiss to each cheek. “Yes.” 
You turn to Hotch with a suspicious pout. “When I told you about the paper I was reading by a Dr. Reid a few months ago, you didn’t stop to think it could be your Dr. Reid? Or you just don’t like me?” 
That’s a sister’s scorn if Spencer’s ever heard it. 
“I thought you said Rain.” 
“I don’t think you did.” You turn back to Spencer. “I can’t believe it, I emailed you about Jacobi elliptical functions, you were so helpful, I owe you my degree.” You put your hand out with a beaming, beautiful smile, Spencer’s stomach totally flips. “It’s amazing to meet you in person.” 
He’s a germaphobe, he is, and that doesn’t just go away when you meet someone lovely, but he shakes your hand. You surprise him too quickly to think beyond taking your hand letting it happen. You’re, like, glowing. 
Hotch gives him a funny look. Mostly impassive, but not quite. 
Spencer abruptly lets you go. “I don’t think you would’ve needed my help to get there in the end. You clearly knew what you were doing.”  
Hotch’s eyebrows silently rise. 
You turn back to Hotch again, your smile catching. “I like your friends.” 
He smiles. “Let me walk you down to the lobby, honey.” 
You let him guide you away, giving the present members of the BAU a wave with just your fingers before you go. 
Morgan and Emily look at him heavily. “Spencer,” Emily says. “What was that?” 
He doesn’t want to say what he thinks it was, so he doesn’t. “She was nice.” 
Morgan’s laughter is immediate. Spencer has to walk off to the kitchen for a cup of tea he doesn’t drink to escape him and the connotation of his laughing. Spencer hopes he’ll see you again soon, though if he’s half a good a profiler as he thinks he is, he might end up in trouble with your brother.
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nanaslutt · 6 months
Text
insatiable
ʚ synopsis: Choso accidentally discovers that you can squirt and he’s determined to make you do it over and over again
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ʚ cont: fem reader, rough sex, multiple orgasms, squirting, mating press, dirty talk, he talks you though it, inexperienced choso, unprotected sex, cumming inside
ʚ note: another brilliant ask from 🌱 anon <3
MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ
The position he currently has you folded in is one that has you seeing stars behind your eyes. Your legs are folded against your body while Choso drops the weight of the bottom half of his body down onto your pelvis with each thrust, making his cock assault your sweet spot deep inside you to no end. It felt like your organs had molded to make room for Choso's cock.
His hard pelvis crushed yours each time he thrust into you, his hot skin smashing against your clit, making your walls spasm and squeeze around him ruthlessly. "God, you're so tight-" Choso gritted through his teeth, his hot breath tickling your neck as he whined and groaned against your skin. Each time he bullied his cock into your walls, you felt something coil itself tighter and tighter in your stomach.
It felt deeper and more intense than your usual orgasms, but you were being fucked with such force that you were unable to utter any words, only able to squeeze your arms tightly around your boyfriend's neck and cry choppy moans as he humped into you ruthlessly. "O-oh shit-" Choso's eyes twitched and his eyebrows furrowed as your jaw fell open, mouth forming a big O shape as the ball of tightness in your pelvis burst.
Choso placed his hands on the undersides of your knees and pushed his body up, allowing him to look at the mess you were making on his cock. His eyes opened in shock, his hips not even slowing a bit as he fucked streams of a white liquid out of your cunt. The feeling of you gushing out around him made him bite his lip between his teeth, his balls throbbing as he watched you have an orgasm like you never have before.
You gasped and breathed heavily as you struggled to come down from such an intense high. You placed your hands over your face, mortified and aware of what you just did. Choso paused his hips, relishing in the feeling of your tight cunt throbbing around him in the aftershocks of your orgasm as he struggled to comprehend what just happened. You'd never cum like that before.
A bead of sweat dripped down the side of Choso's face, sliding down his bare neck. His eyes were wide as he stared at your ruined cunt, a little swollen on the outside the force of his thrusts. His abdomen and balls were coated in your cum from when you squirted all over him, the liquid dripping down onto the mattress and joining the wet mess under your bodies.
"What… what was that?" Choso asked, slightly out of breath from how rough he was going. He kept you folded in that intense position, just using your cunt to cockwarm him as he waited for you to respond. Choso stared at your cunt for a few beats longer, and when you didn't respond he dragged his eyes up your body to find your face, which was covered by your hands. "Hey," Choso spoke, releasing the hold he had on one of your thighs, letting it fall over his own as he grabbed your wrist, trying to pull your hand away from your face.
"Baby, what was that? It was so hot, can- can you do it again?" Choso asked, replaying the moment you squirted on him over and over again in your head. You dropped your hands from your face and grabbed his wrist, averting eye contact. You felt your face burn with embarrassment at the thought of explaining what squirting was to him. It wasn't his fault he had little experience in bed and had never watched porn before.
"I just came… that's all." You tried to lie, not wanting to face the mortification of the conversation. Choso cocked his head to the side and looked down between your legs again. The wet spot underneath you had grown as your liquids had seeped into the sheets, making your mess look even worse. "I've never seen you cum like that," Choso responded, a bit skeptical. He felt his cock throb inside you, he wanted to make you do that again, he needed to.
"Fuck Cho…" You cursed, your face scrunching in discomfort. Choso wrapped his arms around one of your legs and placed it over his shoulder, keeping your appendage snug against his body. His cock jolted inside you as he pressed himself deeper, making sure the two of you were as close as possible. "Then, you can do it again right?" You reached out and placed your hands on his lower hips, resting them there.
You shook your head in embarrassment, not wanting to squirt again. "Why not?" Choso asked, almost sounding like he was pouting. "Cho, I squirted, that's what that was." Even after your explanation, Choso still had no idea what that meant, but he did know that both he and his dick liked the sound of it. "That's only happened one other time… when I was touching myself. It's so messy and embarrassing." You explained.
Choso's eyebrows furrowed together, he didn't understand why you thought it was embarrassing. You sure looked like you were feeling good when it happened, so why was it so bad? And the mess? Choso was never one to care about something like that, especially in bed. He fucked sloppily and came buckets all over you every time you had sex.
There was another thought Choso was having though. He was irritated that you had squirted without him, and hadn't told him you had done or could do such an amazing thing. "Well, I think it's hot. I wanna see you do it again please." Choso said, not giving you any time to respond before he pulled his hips back and fucked half of his cock back inside you.
Your nails dug into his hips at the unexpected stimulation. The man above you started at a quick and fast pace, the same one as before. "W-wait Choso-" You tried to cry but your moans fell on deaf ears as Choso's arms wrapped tighter around your leg, keeping you sturdy and close in proximity as he abused your cunt with his cock. You threw your head back against the pillows in pleasure, already feeling something start to well up inside you again.
Choso turned his head against your leg and opened his mouth to press sloppy kisses and lickes on your skin. His eyes were shut tight, eyebrows furrowed together as he molded your pussy to shape his cock. "A-ahhh-" Choso groaned in pleasure against your leg, biting the flesh there before pulling away and cracking his eyes open, looking down at your disheveled form.
"H-how, how do I make you squirt again? Will this help?" Without warning, Choso used one of his hands to rub quick, sloppy circles against your clit with his thumb, his other fingers and palm spread out on your thigh. "God wait- Choso not there-" You gasped, shaking your head back and forth against the pillow, gritting your teeth together.
Choso's choked moans could be heard in his throat, his ragged breathing making you feel dizzy from how hot he sounded. "Y-you're getting tight again, are you gonna squirt?" Choso asked, leaning forward over your body. He placed his hand next to your head to stabilize himself as he continued fucking into you, his thumb ruthlessly rubbing back and forth against your sensitive clit.
"Choso f-fuck, c-choso-" You could do nothing but cry and whine his name as he fucked you in that deep angle again, your one leg folding over his shoulder and dangling weakly by his head, your body limp from all the pleasure he was giving you. "Please squirt again, I wanna see it, I need it." He begged, adjusting his hips against yours so his cock was drilling impossibly deeper inside you.
"Don't be embarrassed i-its, okay, I got you, please just cum." Choso's words were doing wonders on your body. The same feeling of that tight, deep ball was forming inside your pelvis, reading to be released all over Choso and his cock once more. Your eyes could barely stay open as your body took in all the pleasure your eager boyfriend was forcing on you.
"Oh god- oh god-" You winced when you felt it ready to release, you bit down hard on your teeth, your lips parted to show your strained expression, your body going rigid against him all the while Choso kept fucking into you, working you right up to your breaking point. "Yeah, y-yeah yeah-" Choso groaned along with you, fighting the urge to not blow his load before you came.
His eyes were glued to where the two of you were connected as he waited to see that liquid gush from your cunt again. His jaw fell open in a silent scream when your cunt constricted tighter than the first time and that same liquid from before squirted out from around his dick. "Goddd- yesyesyes-" Choso groaned from between his teeth, shaking his head back in forth in disbelief as you squirted all over him.
Not long after you came, Choso followed your lead. His hips stuttered and paused against your cunt, pushing his cock as deep inside you as possible as his balls throbbed and he released load after load of his cum inside you. You shook and spasmed against him, feeling your insides grow warmer as he filled you up with his seed. Your leg slipped off of his shoulder, allowing him to collapse fully against your body as the both of you shook in the aftershocks.
You wrapped your arms around Choso's neck and whined when he weakly thrust his cock in and out of you, using your cunt to milk his balls dry. You were just starting to catch your breath before you heard Choso mumble something against your neck quietly. "Huh?" You managed to force out, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion when Choso pushed himself off your body and placed his hands on either side of your body, looking down at you.
His hair was disheveled, his face all the way down to his chest bright red, and his chest heaved as he fought to catch his breath. "Again." He said, louder this time. Your eyes widened in shock, surely he couldn't be serious, your body felt like jello, you didn't know if you had anything left inside you to give. "N-need you to do that again, just one more time." You swallowed harshly, trying to mentally prepare yourself for Choso's unsatiable cock to drill you all over again.
You felt him twitch inside you, already back to life even though it felt like he had released all he could give you from his balls. You winced and whined when Choso slowly pulled his cock out before pushing it back inside you, relishing in the warmth and gumminess of your now cum soaked walls.
The mess on the bed underneath you was not twice the size, and it was about to get worse when you felt Choso's cum force itself out from around his cock and drip down your ass, joining the mess. Choso found your eyes with his and waited for you to say something as he continued slowly pushing himself in and out of you "One more time." You whispered, holding your finger up in front of you, trying to look stern, but failing. A satisfied grin spread across Choso's features. "One more time." He repeated.
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