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marleyybluu · 1 year

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Baby Daddy

Pairings: Fezco x black!reader

Warnings: swearing, sexual content, unprotected sex.

Word Count: 2.5k

this is from my old account too so if you see this and you're like "Hey this is familiar" its because its me babe

"When are you going to start dating again?" Kay asked her friend. YN rolled her eyes and fed her 8-month-old child a spoonful of mashed sweet potatoes. "Sage can you tell your aunty I'll knock her right tooth to the left." The little girl oblivious to the conversation only whined for more food.

"Come on, look, you've been out of the dating pool since you got pregnant since you and... he who shall remain nameless-"

"Girl, just say Fez."

"YN don't you miss having some fun, flirting with whoever just to get bored and ghost them in like a week?"

YN missed having fun in terms of going on dates with whoever she wanted to and accepting gifts from whoever gave them to her and on the occasion just having a drunken one-night stand but she was a mother now, things had been put into a different perspective. She wouldn't mind dating but she knew what it was like out there, not a lot of people were up to play step-parent or wait around until her child went to sleep.

"Or are you still hung up on you know who?"

YN's baby daddy was no stranger to being the topic of conversation, he was a steady fling— occasionally going on trips together, going to hotels, planning cute little dates, going on double dates, and he even met her parents. But something just prevented them from putting this title on things and as deep as she was falling for him she never let him know. Soon she was pregnant and they agreed to co-parent, it was all smooth sailing but watching him be a father made her yearn for a relationship with him. A solid one.

"No, I'm not still hung up on him," She lied. "Even if I was... could you blame me? I mean you saw the way he treated me as if I was his whole solar system and seeing him with Sage. It just makes everything deeper."

"You two are so complicated, you were the one who said you don't date-"

"Well, that was before I met him!" She shouted. YN took a deep breath. "Kay... you don't know how he makes me feel, gosh I mean when I was pregnant there was no hesitation he was so happy, he wanted me off my feet when I started showing, he put me on this pedestal that I don't know if anyone can make me experience again."

The doorbell rang cutting into their conversation, YN asked her friend to go answer and she did swinging the door open revealing the man of the hour as if they summoned him by accident.

"Hey, Fezco." She heard from the kitchen. "Speaking of the devil," YN muttered. Heavy footsteps trailed inside the kitchen. "Hey YN."

"Hi, Fez."

Sage instantly started to kick her feet when she saw her father come into view. "Hi, my happy baby." He cooed rubbing his nose against hers. "Well, I guess I will leave y'all alone, have some family time. I have some shopping to do."

YN wiped off her daughter's mouth and stood up leaving her with her father. "With who's money?" She asked. Kay shrugged. "Doesn't matter as long as it's not my own. See y'all later."

Kay left the house leaving YN in awkward silence. "So what are you doing here today?" She asked. "I was missing you guys, so I let Ashtray handle shit today." She took a sip of her coffee and sighed sitting around her kitchen island. "Did you eat yet?" He asked. She nodded but he stared at her longer. "Fine, no. But I'm not that hungry anyway."

"You have anything to cook?"

YN groaned. "Fez,"

"I don't want to hear it I'll make something."

There was no point in arguing with him really he would just turn around and do whatever he wanted anyway. The rest of the day was breezy, YN got to finish some work and take a nap while Fezco took care of their daughter. She sat in her playpen in front of the television watching some Bugs Bunny he had left on. YN rubbed the sleep out of her eye coming down the steps in a baggy shirt and some socks. She peeped over to see Sage engulfed in the old cartoon and decided to let her be.

She slid into the kitchen and crept behind Fez drawing a line down his back. "Hey." She smiled. "Hi, sleepyhead."

YN laughed. "Thank you for letting me have more than 15 minutes."

"Five hours should do you justice for the week." He joked. She rolled her eyes leaning on the counter to peek at what he was cooking. "You have no idea how much I appreciate this, I owe you."

He shook his head. "You're the mother of my child, carried my little girl for almost ten months, you've done everything for her. You don't owe me anything."

'Why do you have to be so nice?' She said to herself.

YN looked up at him wanting to ask something, maybe confess her feelings, but her doubt got the better of her and she only sheepishly smiled at him before heading to the living room and sitting in the large playpen with her child.

Holding up toys to her face and watching her little hands grab them only to toss them back on the floor. Florian poked his head around the corner grinning as he saw his two girls having their own fun, he tip-toed over. "Room for one more?"

"Of course."

Soon all three were in the playpen. YN felt his arm snake around her pulling her in closer to him, he kissed the top of her head. This was what she wanted, every night, with him and no one else honestly. "Dinner's ready if you're hungry."

"Mmm you know I'll never say no to food."

The three gathered around the table, Sage for her own small portion of the food. They said a little prayer before digging in. YN's eyes rolled to the back of her head. "I swear you make the best steak and potatoes oh my goodness."

"Thank you." He chuckled. The dinner was more a comfortable silence with the occasional random noise from the baby who was covered in mostly mashed potatoes. "Every time I look at her I fall more in love. She's perfect." YN mumbled.

Fez agreed. "We did a great job. Making her and raising her." YN lightly threw her napkin at him for the comment. "It's true, I know you remember." He winked taking a sip of his water. She remembered very well to the point where it would leave a heartbeat in more than one place.

Dinner was done, and Sage had been bathed and put to sleep. YN washed what dishes were left while Fez picked up the toys and packed away the playpen. It was 8 pm and though she didn't wake up too long ago she was ready to go back to sleep. "Well everything is cleaned up, guess that's my cue to go."

She frowned but kept it hidden. "Uh... okay, well thanks again for today I needed the little break."

He nodded. "No problem."

Neither wanted him to go just yet.

"I- um, what if you leave a little later... I have wine." YN felt herself becoming rosy she couldn't believe she was stumbling so much. Fez found it cute though. "Uh, I drove here."

"There's a couch... or an extra room." She flirted. He agreed to her offer setting his keys back down. His eyes were glued to her backside watching her bend down to one of the lower cabinets grabbing the liquor. "Hey there are some glasses somewhere up there can you-" She stood up catching him in the act, her heart fell to the pit of her stomach. "What?"

"Nothing." He shrugged. "Glasses right?" Fez didn't need much of a stretch to collect the glasses. "If we really wanna keep her sleeping we could go in the basement."

"Lead the way."

YN stepped downstairs hearing the door quietly close behind her, she stopped in her tracks seeing the tent made of blankets that she set up one night with Kay. "That's cute." He chuckled. Drinks were poured while they sat up in the tent. "Cheers to a parent's night in." She giggled. "I'll drink to that."

YN picked a movie and laid back against some pillows that were stacked but she felt herself being pulled once again into Fezco's hold, he rested his head on her thighs and she smiled lightly scratching his head with her acrylic nails knowing that was what he liked. As the movie played and more drinks were poured she started to feel the buzz, she couldn't handle liquor like she use to— tingles ran through every inch of her body as her temperature rose.

Fez was feeling the same way, his fingers running up and down her thighs. By this time they switched positions and were both laying down with her as the little spoon. She, not so subtly, pushed back against his crotch her eyes widening feeling his already hard member poking through. His hand moved from her thighs up her torso and under her shirt, his lips pressed against the back of her neck.

"I miss you." He mumbled. She shook her head at the drunken confession. "Mmm, you had too much wine." She hiccuped. "So? A drunk man's words... have... thoughts." YN fell into a fit of laughter. "What the hell was thaaat!?"

He only shook his head, his glossy eyes analyzed her every feature, the little dots of freckles spread across her skin, her full lips forming into a smile. "Fezzy..." She whispered.

"YN." He whispered back. Her low eyes fixated on his full beard. "Do you miss life before Sage?" She wondered. He disagreed. "I love her too much to turn back the clock you know?"

"Mhm."

He closed his eyes. "I miss how close we were though. I miss taking you on dates and shit. I miss pretending like we were in a relationship."

YN ran her thumb over his cheek. "I think you were the only one I wanted a real relationship with," She admitted. "Why do you think I trapped you?"

"Shut up." He mumbled pulling her face closer until their lips touched for the first time in quite a long time and it was a feeling that was well overdue. Soon the movie was just background noise, clothes were coming off piece by piece, kisses filling in their places, and warm hands exploring their bodies like it was the first time they met. YN wrapped her legs around his hips, her nails digging into his soft flesh, her soft moans caressing his ear.

He grunted burying his head in the crook between her neck and shoulder leaving kisses behind. "Oh my goodness... Fez." She breathlessly whispered while tapping his back. "Oh, baby I'm gonna cum."

His tongue slithered against her warm neck tasting her salty skin, sweat coating both bodies. "Cum for me, please cum for me, baby."

Yn felt her legs loosen their grip allowing him to thrust harder, she let out a long groan her nails sliding down his back leaving faint red trails. Her orgasm took over her whole body causing her to shake and shiver, to reach down between them in a weak attempt to push him off but he wasn't going anywhere he loved watching her mouth form that 'O' shape, his name repeatedly slipping from her, her perfect eyebrows coming closer together, the eye contact was the cherry on top of it all.

"Shit." She giggled out of breath. "You okay?" He chuckled passing his thumb over her chin. "Yes." Her cheeks started to feel warm.

Fez rolled over on his back letting out an exhausted sigh picking up the phone to check the time. "1 am, wow." He put the phone down seeing Yn now on top of him her hands laying on his chest, her soaked pussy sliding against his shaft, she whimpered at her sensitive clit's contact with the vein he had poking out. She lifted her hips taking his dick into the palm of her hand so it stood straight up and slowly sank down on it.

"Baby..." He moaned feeling engulfed in her warmth and slickness. "Can't take anymore?" She flirted rotating her hips. "Mmm don't start that, I always make you tap out."

YN didn't answer only lifted back up to his tip and carefully back down, she repeated her actions until she was comfortable enough to go a bit faster. She rode that man like a horse, helped that he was hung like one too, his hands had a hard grip on her cheeks spanking them once in a while hard enough in the hopes to leave a print. She leaned down resting her upper body on his and still moving up and down on him. "Fuck it's so deep." She muttered. "Yeah?" Fez wrapped his arms around her waist holding her down, he began to match her motions.

"Ouu I- mmm fuck I hate that." She giggled knowing she felt the complete opposite. Soon her body gave out letting Fez take over with his relentless pounding, she whimpered reaching back to push against his thighs but was denied when he collected her arm trapping it under his initiating the same on the other side. "Take that shit, I told you I always make you tap out."

She really had no choice but to lay on his chest she wiggled her upper body as much as she could but there was no point. "Fezzz." She whined, her eyes falling to the back of her head. "I'm gonna cum YN."

"Cum in me daddy, please."

Fez felt her pulsing around him only for it to trigger his own orgasm, his thrusts became slow and sloppy as he emptied himself inside of her. He released his grip on her leaving her to lay lifelessly on her, out of breath, officially tapped out for the night. "You telling me to cum in you will never get old."

She smirked. "It won't be the last time either."

The moment was interrupted by their original outcome from the last time she made that statement, baby cries over the monitor that YN had left in the basement because she always forgot the other one upstairs. "And there she goes."

YN cleaned up from the sink nearby and stole Fezco's shirt to cover her body. "Really?"

"Yuuup." She laughed running up the stairs to her daughter's room to see the infant kicking and wailing. "Okaaay mama I'm here."

She sighed carrying her back to the master bedroom seeing Fez in his boxers laying on her sheets. "I don't think she's hungry, just fussy." He watched as she carefully laid down with the baby laying on her chest. He scooted over to get closer and kissed her cheek, he placed his hand on Sage's back as she slowly calmed down and was soon back to being quiet.

"I love you guys."

Yn looked over at him. "We love you too."

don't we love when she posts on a random day in the week after saying she only does weekends? lol

New Rio fics dropping this weekend fr tho and if I don't do it shiiiiiit don't shoot the messenger

taking a break from Miss Ivy (but if you are a curious cat and would like to take a read come through) and diving back into my other boys

if you liked this fic feel free to like this fic, comments and reblogs help and are very appreciated each time (even tho tumblr wont let me respond to comments for some stupid reason.)

Be cool🤙🏾

#fezco euphoria #fez fanfic #fluff #bwwmromance #euphoria fanfic #fezco fic #marleysfanfictions #marleywrites #black!reader #fez x reader #smut #euphoria smut #fezco smut

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finnsbubblegum · 1 year

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I'm Not Me When I'm With You (Joel Miller x Reader)

Pairing: post-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

Warnings: fluff, protective joel, age gap (reader is in her 20s and Joel is in his 50s), ptsd, mentions of rape attempt (lmk if i missed any)

Summary (Series): You were popular in Jackson but you have been single your whole life. Despite many men flirting with you, you have never found your ideal type. Until one day, you saw Joel and you fell in love at first sight. But he felt insecure.

Summary: Joel was late to walk you home but then he made you dinner and even danced with him.

Words count: 1k

A/N: This is part 3 for I Don’t Deserve You series. Sorry for the long wait, I just finished Becoming Mrs. Miller series so I finally have the time to continue this series. Hope you like it!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Joel had never been late to walk you home from work. But today, he was late. You had waited for more than an hour in your classroom for him but he hadn’t come. So you decided to walk home alone.

“He probably has something important to do.” You talked to yourself.

Joel wouldn’t ditch you without a reason. You trusted him. He was a good man.

It was getting dark and you were getting goosebumps. Since Josh’s incident at your house, Joel had never let you walk home alone. But today was an exception.

“Okay.” You took a deep breath before you walked out of the school.

You were still traumatic to what happened. Your body felt tense as you walked slowly. Hugging yourself hoping to get a feel of calmness. You slowly moved your eyes to look around making sure no one was following you. You started to feel sick, sweating, and trembling.

You gasped and swiftly looked behind you as you heard a sound. There was no one. It was just a bird.

“Phew..” You exhaled and patted your chest.

It took 30 minutes to walk from the school to your house and you couldn’t wait to be home. The way to your home alone was exhausting. You continued walking, walking, and walking. Your goosebumps got worse, you had a hunch that someone was following you. You wanted to check and look behind you but you were too terrified to move. Your heart was beating faster and you didn’t realize your steps were getting faster. You saw your house was not far away from you so you started to run and close your eyes.

“No! No! Please! Just let me go! Please!” You hit the man you bumped into.

“Hey, hey, it’s me. It’s me. It’s me. Joel.” It was Joel.

“You okay?” Joel held both of your upper arms and his thumbs moving in circles.

“Uh-I-” You panted, tears streamed down your cheeks.

“Just breath, it’s okay, just breath.” He guided you to inhale and exhale until you were calm enough to speak.

“Did something happen? Tell me.” His eyes were worried.

“I-I think there was someone following me.” You panted and told him.

“Okay.” He moved you behind him and he looked around.

“No one’s here. You’re safe.” He didn’t see anything suspicious.

“Can you bring me home, please?” You pinched the fabric of his jacket on his upper arm.

“Yeah, yeah. Come here.” Joel put his arms around you and dragged you closer to him.

You put your head on his chest and walked to your house. Joel sat you on the sofa and made you a warm tea.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I got an emergency call from Tommy saying there was..That’s not important. I’m sorry, baby. I promise it won’t happen again.” Joel apologized.

“No, no. It’s fine. So, what happened?” You totally understood him.

“Nothing. False alarm.” Joel shook his head.

“That’s good right. Better than something bad happens.” You stroked his upper arm. Joel chuckled at your positive mindset.

“I’ll make dinner tonight. Just get some rest.” Joel groaned as he stood up from the sofa. You nodded.

You turned your body and rested your chin on top of the back pillows. Watching Joel making dinner for the two of you.

“Like the view?” Joel chuckled as he prepared you dinner.

“Uh-uh.” You smiled. Joel shook his head.

“Stop staring at me. I can’t focus.”

“I can’t. I’m trying to keep this picture in my memory.” You put your hands on the sides of your head.

After dinner

“Do you want to watch a movie? The TV works.” You didn’t want Joel to go home yet.

“Yeah, sure.”

“They have a lot of DVDs. The person who lived here must have loved watching movies.”

“Have you ever watched this one?” You showed Joel a DVD.

“Dirty Dancing? No, I haven’t.”

“Okay, this one then.” You turned on the TV and put the CD in the DVD player.

Joel sat beside you and put his arms around you. You rested your head on his shoulder.

*credits-scene*

“So, can you dance?” You teased Joel.

“I used to.”

“Show it to me.” You nudged your nose to his jaw.

“No, no.” He was too shy to dance.

“Come on.” You took Joel’s hand and dragged him to dance with you.

He sighed. You started dancing even though your moves were stiff and weird. You didn’t care as long as you could make him laugh. He threw his head back and laughed.

“Your turn.” You asked him to dance.

He was shy at first but then he started to move and made funny facial expressions. You laughed so loud you could feel your stomach bursting. You had never seen this side of him.

Video from cocoullrich on Instagram

“You won, Joel.” You laughed holding your stomach.

“Promise me you won’t tell anybody about that.” He moved closer to you.

“Depends.” You smirked.

“On what?” He put his arms on your waist.

“How you behave.” You kissed his cheek.

“Do you know what you have done to me?” Joel raised his eyebrows.

“What?” You tilted your head.

“I’m not me when I’m with you. I’m a totally different person.” He gave you a peck on your lips.

You smiled and he kissed you again. The kiss was getting deeper and his hands started snaking under your shirt. You gasped when he tried to unbutton your pants. The memories from that night, the night when Josh tried to rape you came back all over again.

“I-I’m sorry.” You stopped his hands and stepped back.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-” Joel took a step back.

“No, no. It’s not your fault. It’s just that-that night when-” You tried to explain but you couldn’t find the words. You were panting.

“No, no. I totally understand. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.” Joel slowly moved closer to you.

He looked at you waiting for signs to make sure you were okay with him touching you. He extended his hand, you nodded and he hugged you.

“I’m sorry.” He rubbed your back in circles and kissed your head.

To be continued…

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Taglist:

@nyotamalfoy @stevengmybeloved @happinessinthebeing @angelicbbsblog

#joel miller #pedro pascal #joel miller one shot #joel miller x reader #joel miller imagine #joel miller x you #the last of us imagine #the last of us x reader #the last of us x you #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fanfiction

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flamingskull28 · 1 month

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So this stood as a wip in my drafts for a long time so I had an idea. I'd finish it on a cliff hanger.

Now I will @ 3 friends to challenge them to finish a bit more. Maybe they will @ more people, who knows?

---

Marie vaguely listened as Callie and Agent 3 chatted. They always had some random topic to chat about, whether it be exercising routines, turf wars or music those two always had something to yap about.

While Marie did enjoy listening to them, with her own occasional chime ins. Her attention was mostly spilt over at Agent 4 who lay on the nearby couch outside the cabin, not really resting but more pretending to. Marie had demand she rest for a while after her 5th time going into the Canyon to train...

"Hey! Earth to Marie! Marieeeeeeeeeeeeee." Callie stretched her words out in the most annoying way possible till Marie finally snapped out from her half there trance.

"huh, who..."

"Me, silly...You okay Marie? You've been more zoned out more than usual." Callie's voice was un-naturally caring.

"I...." Marie sighed and tore her gaze from 4 "It's Agent 4, she's... been different lately, you've noticed right? She's been less chipper and upbeat, she barely talks anymore, her face is almost always stone cold, even when I tell her she can use her dualies in a misson... she doesn't even smile... and she's been spending more and more time in the Canyon. Always saying its for training.... she always comes back exhausted and covered in scars and bruises then at the first chance she gets...goes straight back out..." Maries voice rose and fell as she spoke untill she finally huffed,

Callie paused and looked at the out of breath Marie, considering her words for a moment "I... I have noticed, I just thought it was just a phase but.. you're right.." Callie forced a smile "Maybe 3's just rubbing off on her." She said trying to make light of this, 3 rolled her eyes in response thought the agent seemed nervous about something.

"That- Cod damit..." Marie muttered glancing back at the couch and seeing 4 vanished as if they'd never been there in the first place. Marie tapped her ear piece. "4, are you in the Canyon?" she tried to put disapproval into her voice.

After a few seconds of silence, her ear pieces speaker trickled to life, "Mhm." was all 4 said.

"4 I want you to come back. Now. Thats enough patrolling for today."

"....No...." gunfire was audible in her mic.

"4 you have spent well over 12 hours out there today. Come back to the Cabin, that's an order..." after a minute of no response she added "Please?"

*click*

..."4!" Marie yelled processing that her Agent had hung up on her. She turned to Callie and 3 as if to confirm that wasn't her imagination, but both their jaws were agape. 4 wasn't always the best with orders but she never refused one, let alone hung up on Maire...

Then 3 face planted into her hands and groaned "Cod... this is all my fault.... "

Marie and Callie stared at the girl, silently asking for an explanation.

"I..." 3 audiblely held back tears. Her and 4 has grown very close from what the sisters understood. Callie said they were like beasties but Maire saw... something more building between the two. So if 3 had done something to upset 4, this reaction would be understandable.

3 took a deep breath "Last month, you recall that patrol where me and 4 were gone all day and came back battered?" 3 continued knowing the sisters did remember. "Well as you know.. 4 and I were ambushed, we were overwhelmed by a whole splatoon of troops and barely scraped through...."

3 paused, her face covered in sorrow and regret. "Afterwards we were pissed, 4 and I argued about how that could've happened to us.... I-I was such a bitch to her." 3's voice cracked guiltily, as the regret pooled inside her bubbled over and leaked out in her words "I said 'this would have never happened if 8 was here,but no I was stuck with your incompetent ass and almost died because of it'.... she looked so hurt.....she hasn't talked to me since."

3 stopped and her tears finally broke through. Callie placed a comforting hand on their shoulder. Marie did not, feeling the urg to punch 3 mixed in her pity.

"So.." Marie death gripped her brella "She's been doing this to herself... because you couldn't hold back your temper? Now... she thinks torturing herself is the only was to be worth while..." Marie threw her umbrella aside and kicked open the cabin door. Rummaging through until she found her hero charger.

"Marie... you can't just blame 3." Callie said sternly, to no response. Marie kept walking away. "Where are you going?"

Marie looked back. Visiblely angry. "To find 4, don't follow." She super jumped away.

----

I challenge @geminired @sodapoppss @deemodomino to build on if they wish.

#splatoon #agent 4 #agent 3 #implied Agent 12 #marie #callie and marie #callie #splatoon 2 #writing on tumblr

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burnchurch1s · 2 years

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content is getting longer

and no one is talking about it. analysis via really long textpost on this hellsite.

in prime vine and musical.ly days, i vividly remember talk of todays generation having a very short attention span- the six second videos rotting our brain and making anything longer than that no longer interesting and too overwhelming. then, vine died, and musical.ly turned into todays tiktok, and todays tiktok has expanded the length of videos to be anywhere from 3-10 minutes long. people on tiktok post whole videos in segments on their profile page- whole movies, even! tiktok having a function that allows people to go live also allows for the opportunity for people to go live for however long they want, which brings me to my next point: streamers.

even just on tiktok, i can think of an ASMRtist that literally goes live for 6-7-8 hours everyday- sunshinejazzy17- while simultaneously posting hours of content to her youtube. simmer lilsimsie goes live also everyday for hours on end, while also posting much shorter content on her main youtube channel everyday, and posting all of her streams on her side channel, moresimsie. these are not only two different genres of content, but also just the tip of the iceberg on the different genres that stream often and for many hours. there are a wide variety of gamers, which are very popular these days, makeup artists, nail artists, artist artists- you get my point.

the pinnacle of it all- youtube. i was first introduced to my interest in long videos via people on this very website obsessing over quinton reviews newest video five months ago, where he released an eight-hour long video as a part for for his collective and ongoing 22-hour long series about victorious and icarly, and the essential universe of it all. i watched all 22-hours and so did many other millions of people. i think conspiracy and analysis type videos rein supreme over this sort of hour long content- probably right next to gaming. when shane dawson was still relevant, in his prime years he was making documentary type videos that were a couple hours long. his old counterpart garrett watts and old camera man andrew siwicki have gone on to make videos that are a couple hours long exploring haunted places- see: the video released on garretts channel a couple weeks ago that is two hours long and guarantees another, upcoming, similar video at the end. that video got almost 3 million views.

i literally just watched a video that was almost two hours long by BoyzHubUltra about how izzy from total drama island isn’t crazy, and it got almost 600k views, and that’s what got me on this bender in the first place. not to mention, people like the theorizer have been making hours long videos for years now.

back on asmr, the ranges of asmr that there is- from typing on keyboards, to studying, to roleplaying, to gaming, to literal history asmr- makes the dedication of the creators pretty obvious, knowing most of their audience is only listening to it to fall asleep.

tbh, i haven’t even mentioned podcasts at all either, and that doubles with youtube since most podcasts also upload their content to youtube, but people are more easily able to just listen to hours of content while still doing everyday tasks like working or groceries. i actually just got finished with the first season of dungeons and daddies, which is a dnd podcast (and brings in a whole new can of worms that i’ll try not to delve into as much). when i started the first season, they were already about ten episodes into season two, and it took me about one or two months just to finish the first season. every episode was over an hour long, and there were 70 episodes. all in the first season alone.

i also listen to quite a few reddit podcasts, like rslash, who posts short videos everyday and has years worth of videos, and two hot takes which doesn’t release as often, but has hour long episodes when they do.

i could continue talking about the different genres and platforms where people are consuming long hours worth of content, but i need to try to wrap this up, and i’m sure i’ve only just barely scratched the surface of it all.

adults are convinced we hate to pay attention to things, but we don’t. we just focus our energy into paying attention to things we find interesting. it’s like movies, or that tv show with episodes as long as movies, but treated less seriously because they didn’t have as big of a budget when creating it. we focus our energy into consuming hours of content via livestreams, youtube videos, and podcasts, and to them it’s like we’re consuming nothing at all. it’s a similar effect to not considering fanfictions “real books” just because they’re not published. that fanfic you just read that’s the size of the lord of the rings books isn’t suddenly less impressive just because it was written by a 16 year old who hasn't graduated high school or moved out of their parents house yet.

to the older generation who aren’t aware of all this, who never had internet growing up and don’t bother learning, we’re just simply wasting time on the internet. maybe we should just keep this secret to ourselves and keep them oblivious to it- it’s funny to see the shoe fumble when it doesn’t know where it’s going.

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voidthewanderer · 10 months

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8) sender remembered something receiver mentioned they liked and brings it or something related to it as a gift. Vice versa'd for Ripper and Sweetjane? (She likes anything related to space, and baudy kitsch)

@bleumanouche || Simple Acts Of Romanticism

Not gonna lie, this one was hard to come up with a gift idea that felt right as a gift he’d give. Trying to look up ideas really didn’t give me too many ideas either; mainly forced kitsch or the idea of a kitsch aesthetic that I felt fell just outside of the idea of it. But space was also only yielding super generic ideas from my brain (thank you creative block!). But then I had an idea! I hope it lands! Stay tuned for the art of it, I wanna make sure it looks good before making a definitive post. I did add some references of the general style, however; at least until I can get something done.

Sorry this took so long, btw. Been trying to learn the whole work/life balance thing and it’s not going too well lol. I left it open ended in case if you wanted to make any changes to the outfit so it would be something she’d wear often if it isn’t yet.

•~*♡*~•~*♡*~•~*♡*~•~*♡*~•~*♡*~•~*♡*~•~*♡*~•

Another decent day of exploring… Just him and him alone. Ripper loved the attention and being surrounded by his friends, but sometimes he just needed that little bit of time to himself. Time to think, time to breathe… time to mourn. Give him some time to let down that wall and just grieve what he’d lost so long ago. It didn’t matter that it had been well over two hundred years at that point. The memory still stung.

Part of him was worried that if he finally let go, the memories would fade and he’d forget why he was how he was today. Perhaps it wasn’t such a terrible thing, but a forever 36-year-old man acting how he did seemed desperate without the context to him. It felt midlife crisis; something he refused to accept would ever happen in his life.

However, despite wanting to keep his focus on the past, a light glimmered through; drawing his attention away. A new beginning; a new chapter. Soon, his thoughts just grew more and more about his new potential flame. A voice calling out, telling him that he deserved to be happy.

He shook the thought away, needing to be alert. He was a far way away from home. The last thing he needed was for him to get hurt… or worse… and nobody know what happened. He’d wanted to travel on his own for a bit, seeing if he could find something left of Crow’s family home. They’d been pretty bored lately when not working; he’d hoped maybe finding some of their old stuff would help.

He’d already been gone for three days, which had just been the walk down. He wanted to be back before the next week. Though, he hadn’t found what he was looking for either… he couldn’t let this trip be all for naught.

As he rummaged through a house, a pop of color caught his attention. His face lit up when he’d seen what it was. It was perfect! At least… for the one who crossed his mind when he’d seen it. He hoped it would be, anyways.

•~*♡*~•~*♡*~•~*♡*~•~*♡*~•~*♡*~•~*♡*~•~*♡*~•

“Is Ripper in?” Sweetjane asked the pale ghoul who had been sketching at the kitchen counter. They glanced over and smiled, “Not right now, he went back to New Jersey to find some stuff. It’s been about a week, though; he’s not normally away for that long. You’re free to hang out though. My fiancé just finished lunch about half an hour ago if you’re hungry. And Joey’s room is open if you’re looking for a nap.”

“Thank you,” food had sounded nice. It was just a matter of what it was. Thankfully, the other ghoul that had been mentioned was within earshot; going behind the counter to plate chicken with a side of carrots and a tarberry compote. It hadn’t been a large plate, just enough that would normally tied the settlement over for dinner.

“He talks about you a lot,” Crow hummed, going back to their sketch. This garnered a quizzical look from Sweetjane. They smiled, “Rips. He absolutely adores you. I haven’t seen him this elated in a long time. I’m glad he’s finally found someone who can make him feel like this again.”

A knock on the wall caught the room’s attention. Speak of the devil; the punk clad ghoul had been leaning against the wall, his smile bright. Crow returned it, “I’ll leave you two alone. Welcome home.”

Crow practically had to drag Arsenic out with them; wanting the duo to have at least a few hours alone. Ripper perched himself onto the stool that had since been vacated, pulling his overstuffed pack onto his lap, “‘M glad you’re here, Tesoro. Found something while I was in Jersey. I know it might not be your norm, but… I hope you’ll like it. Hopefully it’s not too wrinkled too. And that it’ll fit. Crow might need to take it in a little.”

Before Sweetjane could say anything, Ripper pulled out a petticoat that looked similar to a dress. It crop at the waist with a belt, most likely to either show the midriff or to wear a high waisted bottom. The bottoms of the train were fairly tattered from time, but still did seem to hold some shape. The back ruffling was a solid space fabric, possibly homemade, as it appeared more tie dyed. The sleeves also had cuffed roughly mid bicep, a form fitting mesh sleeve flowing down and flaring out at the wrist. On the back was very intricate bead embroidery work, looking like a galaxies in space.

“What do you say? Is this OK? I remembered you mentioning you liked space and the jacket itself kinda reminded me of the wedding dress you like to wear. If you want, we can try it on now, maybe get it pinned up in case if it does need to be taken in. I think you’d look even more beautiful in it.”

“I’d love to,” a small smile did flash on Sweetjane’s lips; making his heart absolutely leap. “Where’d you even find something like this?”

Ripper held out his hand, taking to as they went to look for the pale ghoul who’d just left, “There was this little bimonthly festival in New Jersey before the war. All the misfits who’d call themselves witches and whatnot would get together and sell homemade stuff. If I’d have to guess? The person who made this probably sold there. Maybe Crow would know, they used to sell when it was close.”

There was a spark of excitement between the both of them it felt. Ripper was excited to see her in the jacket. He hoped that she’d like it.

#shut it void #friend talk #bleumanouche #I do ultimately want to draw her in this (or however you choose for the final design to look)#I just don’t want to overwhelm myself with my art again #so once I finish my WHF design I’ll start that

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runningandraisingmyheathens · 1 year

Text

This is the race recap I sent to my coach. I’m just going to reuse it, if anyone wants to know how yesterday went.

Still riding high from yesterday, which is helpful since Keith is deploying today. He was in training, but got to come back Friday evening. That was really nice, because he got to be on the course to see me run.

I got a great night’s sleep before the race. Got up, ate toast with honey and a banana. Drank water with NUUN on the way to the start line. It was pretty windy with a light rain when I got there. Pretty chilly, but not bad. I used my inhaler and took my gel 30 minutes before the race was going to start. Then, 7 minutes before the race was supposed to start, they announced that there was a small accident on the course and that they were going to delay the start by 10 minutes. That kinda threw my fueling game off, but it wasn’t serious.

The weather for the whole thing was great. The wind wasn’t noticeable. Cloud coverage the whole time. High 40s to low 50s. Slight rain, but just a spattering.

Started the race slightly behind the 3:35 pacing group. It was pretty bottlenecked getting over the starting line. And really, the first 10 miles or so were pretty narrow. We had one lane of the road, which gets a little crowded with a lot of runners around. I kept the 3:35 group ahead of me, and I was working on catching up to them without pushing my pace too much under 8:00. I finally caught them around mile 9. And the 3:30 pacing group was within sight, so I’m pretty sure the 3:35 pacer was going to quick. I was right at an 8:00 mile, and he’d pass me. I just kept telling myself to run my own race. There were two women who had been running with him. They pulled ahead of him too, and they were ahead of me for awhile, so I used them to help pace myself.

I saw keith at mile 12 as we ran downtown. I was still feeling great. Normally, when I get to 13.1, I hit my wall. Just something about having to run it again. But yesterday, that didn’t happen. I just took it a mile at a time. I didn’t think ahead too much. I was doing good on the back half, working on going faster, and I don’t know what happened. I felt like I was pushing, but my watch wasn’t reflecting that. The two women were still ahead of me, so I felt like my pace hadn’t changed either. Mile 17 was an 8:20 though, and then mile 18 was a 7:52. I don’t know what happened there. I don’t know if the cloud coverage was messing with my watch or what. So, I quit looking at it and worrying about it. I ran past the Kappa Delta sorority, which is my sorority too. It was awesome when I did the KD sign, and they all went crazy and started cheering super loud for me. I think that was my favorite part. And, I passed them twice because they were on the out and back part.

And then miles 19-26…They weren’t bad. I just couldn’t push it any faster. My legs were tired, but not awful. There were a lot of turns and stuff. The wind wasn’t at my back anymore. I don’t know. I also had to use my inhaler. I know the course wasn’t hilly compared to others, but they did take their toll. One of my earpods died at mile 21. The other at mile 24. Being alone with my thoughts for the last two miles was great (she said sarcastically). I honestly don’t get why those things can’t hold a charge for more than 3.5 hours.

I didn’t walk at all though. I did briefly wonder if I should, but I never felt that tired. I just told myself to keep moving, even though my pace was slowing down. I know I didn’t have much left in me, but I kept pushing.

The end was so dang long. It sucked when my watch was hitting 26.2, and I was just passing the 26 mile flag. There were so many turns at the end! Keith said later it was a ridiculous finish with all the little turns. It definitely slowed me down. And this woman was there to run her friend to the finish line, and she had her kids. She left her kids, one was screaming and crying and got in my way. That was annoying.

I was so happy to cross the finish line. I even did a fist pump. I just had a huge smile. I immediately realized where I chafed once I stopped, but glad I didn’t feel it at all while I was running. I just sat there all happy and pumped. I’ve never felt so good after a marathon. Yeah, I was tired and sore, but I didn’t feel like I was going to die. And that’s always a plus.

I like that everything I had one worked the whole time. I was never irritated by anything touching me or flapping around. Everything just worked. I don’t know if that makes sense, but I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t like things touching me when I run, and a lot of times something will nag at me. But yesterday was perfect. LOL, I guess after running 10 of these things, I’ve finally figured out what works. Honestly, this was my best marathon. It all just came together. And yeah, it wasn’t the time I thought I could get, but I enjoyed it. It just felt good the whole time. Even the tough parts weren’t bad. My mind was in a good place, I wasn’t stressing. The weather was great. I recently started taking anti depressants, and it’s worked wonders on my anxiety. I really think it was part of the reason today was so good. Also-I turn 40 on Saturday. This was the best way to close out my 30s.

As for fueling-I took a cliff gummie block every 2.5 miles for the first half. And I’d take a UCAN gel every 5. By mile 11, I realized that I had forgot to account for the fact I was going faster than I do on long runs, so I backed it down to a UCAN every 6 miles. I had a gummie at mile 24, and I just had to spit it out because at that point, I just couldn’t swallow it without gagging. I brought my camelbak. I had filled it up the night before. Apparently it leaked in the car, because I barely had any water in it during the race. Whoops! Good thing water and Gatorade were on the course every few miles. I also used the run gum at miles 8, 16, and 22. I try to use it when I feel myself getting sluggish and unmotivated. It helped each time to perk me up and get me refocused. I feel like my fueling was on point, for the most part. Did find myself feeling hungry at a few points, but I’d just eat a gummi.

I think I’m just a shorter distance runner when it comes to races. I love doing long distance, I just think 13.1 is where I peak. I love 15Ks and 10 milers. Those are my sweet spots. I’ve loved racing marathons. Yesterday was amazing, and I’m so glad I hit my goal for a BQ time. I just don’t think I have a faster one in me. Maybe it’s cause of that mental wall I get to. I just don’t want to push harder because it hurts and I’m tired, and I know I still have 8 miles left, you know? I’m looking forward to just running them to enjoy them without pressuring myself to hit a Boston time or PR. I’m also wondering if my asthma has something to do with not being able to push harder at the end. I used my inhaler in the back half. And I had to use it twice more yesterday, which isn’t my norm.

My legs are sore today, but they’re not horrible. Wasn’t fun to walk down the stairs though. And I’m super tired. Yesterday, I was wired and didn’t go to bed until midnight. I’m always like that after a marathon. Today, I just plan on eating all the foods and taking it easy. Until Keith leaves. That part will suck.

Fun fact-yesterday was 10 years since I ran my first half and got sucked into long distance running. I even wore the shirt I got from that first race (although not on purpose, just a fun coincidence.).

If you’ve made it this far, I know it’s sorta rambley and long. Just a lot of jumbled thoughts.

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annespooky · 5 months

Text

7th November 2023

No travel today as I'm already in Newcastle, yeah!

Woke up to find a paper had been slipped under my door, just to let me know there'll be no hot water for 2 hours later on today, okay...

The fire alarm rang while I was putting my nail varnish but it was probably just a test as the cleaning people proceeded with their activities.

Arrived too early at the venue as I thought doors were at 7 so got a drink in the meantime. Too bad I wasn't hungry as the food looked great!

Had a slight moment of panic at doors when my Dice ticket didn't scan, the lady had no list and I couldn't find my confirmation email... Luckily, the man behind me had a spare so I could enter.

The venue itself was ill-shaped but a correct size. Once again I was quite on my own for the Ciel set but I met a photographer who was also in Leeds so we talked a bit and I took his Instagram so to check his photos later.

PBE were great as always but I was off as I was thinking about my brother's funeral which took place the day after so I struggled to sing and dance freely...

Had another little chat with Michele before my friend Grahame gave me a lift back to my hotel, sparing me 30 minutes climbing back the slopes!

8th November 2023

Another day off today, off to Edinburgh! Well, if I can... All trains as delayed due to a landslip on the route down in Yorkshire but they accept any ticket on the next train approaching so I hop in! Great idea as in the end, my original ticket arrived almost an hour late!

My legendary sense of orientation brought me to my hotel with some diversion and found out that I got half of my ticket fare refunded by LNER, yeah!

Got some food and miserably fell asleep in front of the telly...

9th November 2023

Went to the National Museum of Scotland in the morning after breakfast in a virtually empty room. Wow, really like it! There's a part on the story of the Scots people with Mary, Queen of Scots, which really interested me. Checked the Egypt part as well and other parts (discovered the fashion wing on my way out and wow!)

Went back to the hotel for another hotel room picnic and getting prepared for the gig. Found the venue without too much hassle contrary to last time PBE played Edinburgh. My friend Gillian arrived just after me and we queued on our own in the stairs.

Got in and oh, there's a barrier, boo! And what the hell, it's miles away from the stage! We were on our own again until Ciel came on stage. As always for gigs in Scotland, the vibes are great, although the man to my right to literally stuck to my arm (get the hell off me!). Some man got Michelle's setlist and asked me if I wanted it, given it was handwritten I took it! Aubs gave me Matt's and his to Gillian.

Got a lovely chat with Michelle and Tim and got them sign the setlist. Jorge had to rush to Glasgow so he wasn't there. Gillian got her setlist and CD signed and was quite happy. Went back to the hotel quite quickly, although I almost slipped on my way!

10th November 2023

Off to Glasgow today, less than an hour by train and managed to check in at the Ibis by the venue on the spot so I could rest a bit.

Went to the venue too early so came back to the hotel. When I went back later and had a long chat with a guy in a wheelchair who wouldn't let me alone...

We were let in while Ciel were still soundchecking so waited for them to finish to get to my usual spot. The venue is as crap as last time but the audience was as excellent (although my friend from the day before followed me and stuck to me again...). A lady recognised me from February too! Got another Ciel setlist because it was lying there and no-one seemed bothered to take it... Was pissed off as some lady loudly talked during Chelsea...

11th November 2023

Long journey today, 8 hours and 40 minutes by coach to Nottingham! Luckily no one sat next to me and I mostly slept or listened to music the whole lot. It felt like doing the tour backwards as we stopped at cities previously visited with a long stop at Leeds.

Got a free cookie in my room and watched a bit of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire which eating and getting prepared.

They opened the backdoor from inside before the outside door so almost didn't get my spot, but my friend Nigel knew the people who were already there, including an Informer who wanted a picture with me (WTF?).

I busted both my knees against the stage during Dr Pong but otherwise this was yet another fab gig! Talked about PSB with Tim, who told me that they were his fave band so gave him an account of all my adventures with them!

12th November 2023

Off to Sheffield today, Lucy's home town and where she and Matt have moved earlier this year so this is a kinda home town gig. Got a train ticket valid the whole day so not in a hurry and I reach Sheffield station a few minutes past 1pm. It's pissing down and I'm struggling to find my Premier Inn but made it! (Well, I slightly damaged the handle of my suitcase when it fell while I was crossing a road by it's still okay). Got a room immediately without having to pay extra, yeah!

Given my hotel is by a roundabout, it takes me about 10 minutes (still under the rain), to find the right way to the venue (last time I was there was 8 years ago for PSB and I was staying at the Ibis), so that's 25 minutes later that I reach the venue and oh, it's closed because it's Sunday after 6pm! After waiting under the rain for about half an hour, someone puts me out of my misery so I'm queuing inside.

This is actually not the same venue I've seen PSB, I didn't know there were actually two rooms here! There is a barrier by its middle is replaced by a huge box where I lay my stuff.

There is a second support band tonight, called City Parking, from Sheffield too. They were a bit different in the way that the singer delivers more spoken words than singing, but they were very enjoyable.

Ciel have slightly changed their set tonight, switching Somebody with Far Away, which was great to hear. Jorge has a stroll on the box in front of me during their set.

PBE did another great and powerful set. After the gig, I thanked Michelle for playing Far Away, she replied that they wanted to change their set a bit so that I don't have to listen to the same set every night. Had another surrealist and weird chat with Aubs and when I was feeling the security was kicking us out, I was on my way. While saying bye to Matt, I reminded him that tomorrow is my 50th PBE gig, then Lucy introduced me to her sister Jessica and asked how many times I've seen them so she got a reminder too!

While putting my coat back in the lobby, her mother introduced herself to me, fully knowing who I am (hmm, feels like déjà vu with the PSB parents lol) and managed to get back to the hotel in 15 minutes (there is a tunnel underneath the bloody roundabout!).

13th November 2023

Taking two coaches today and the first one is slightly delayed... But got the second one without any problem, changing at Birmingham, where I'll be back the next day.

I have to walk half an hour to reach the venue, where I ask at the bar where the exact entrance is, it is actually outside so I go there and of course it's starting to rain! The band goes out for dinner and Matt doesn't like me queueing in the rain so checks with the security, who tell me to queue where it's covered, and they know I'm the first one anyway. Obviously, the rain stops and I'm back in the queue.

I leave my stuff with Doug at the merch as there's a barrier and I don't want to step on it while I'm dancing and jumping.

Ciel keep Far Away in their set tonight :) and Matt looks at me while singing More then at the end of the song proceeds with telling everyone that this is my 50th PBE gig and they have a gift for me! What?! Aubs hands me a bottle of prosecco and I didn't get that I had to wear the tinsel (sorry Lucy!), oh and there's a card too! I have absolutely no reminiscence of Heating's On afterwards as I was so stunned! (I'm used to PSB's discretion where they give me stuff after gigs). Matt hands me his setlist after the gig :D and I walk back to the hotel with the bottle, which I will chug for the rest of the tour back home!

14th November 2023

Day off today. Just a coach to go to Birmingham, where the gig is tomorrow. Managed to check-in earlier so got plenty of time to do some more laundry before meeting my friend Sarah for drinks and dinner.

15th November 2023

The gig is in a pub in the suburbs of Birmingham, which I reach after about 20 minutes by bus. Bumped into Doug inside the pub so had a drink with him until I joined (I mean, started) the queue outside (there are three venues in this pub, PBE are playing Venue 1).

Got to my spot and bumped into so many friends there! They include two ladies I met at a wedding earlier this year, who came just because I was coming, luckily they loved both bands! Came back to Birmingham with my friend Paula, who I met 5 years ago in Margate for PSB!

16th November 2023

Biggest headline gig for PBE to date! At Village Underground in London. Got another coach and checked in at the local Hub by Premier Inn early afternoon. It's pissing down (again!).

Arrived far too early to queue but you never know with London. At the end, I knew most of the people in the queue, who ended up front row inside.

Ciel are once again very well welcomed. They went back to their original setlist since the day before.

Matt is clearly very happy (well, even happier than usual) and states that there are so many people from so many periods of their lives in the room. Aubs gives me Matt's setlist and afterwards, when Matt comes back on stage and see the setlist has gone, he looks at me and I show him I got him, he looks relieved, bless him!

At the end, I manage to grab one of Rough Trade bonus CD (which prevents me from buying a sixth copy of the album to get it), which includes a new song called Green Eyes and the Radio X session they did earlier this year.

I then bump into J. Willgoose, Esq. from PSB and we talked a bit. When I mention that I have no idea what to do if PSB and PBE are clashing next week for gigs/tours, he replies to follow my heart, which doesn't really help because my heart wants to see them both! Remembering what Tim told me in Nottingham, I ask J if he met him, he didn't. I therefore called him from the merch and introduce him to J. Sadly J missed Ciel and apologises for this. J goes backstage, I'm chucked outside by the security...

17th November 2023

Back to Victoria Coach Station to get the coach to Bristol, which is slightly delayed but the Premier Inn is just by the station so this is fine.

After checking-in, I go to Rough Trade to collect my order for the Smoke Fairies album, which is out today and stop by Tesco for another hotel room picnic.

Once again I'm first in the queue and I actually arrive while PBE are soundchecking! Bonus! Then Ciel proceed with another lengthy soundcheck. We enter and find out that two steps are placed in front of the stage, okay, I'll try not to fall! I meet more people seen at other PBE gigs and they joke that I'm becoming more famous than the band! (Mind you, I've been mentioned in two live reviews so far!).

Matt screws up the lyrics of Simmering and I shake my head, which makes him laugh, oops sorry! It really feels likea home town gig for them as this is the closest to Devon we will get on this tour. the "Pear Lady" gives Matt butter biscuits, which another lady opens at the beginning of Dr Pong (what the hell is going on lol). The singing on More was exceptional too!

I meet the Spanish couple who were by my side during the gig afterwards and they wonder how many setlist I have lol. I thought they were friends of Jorge from Ciel, but no they just came because their original planned gig has been cancelled and they managed to find tickets from the waiting list. I get my bonus CD signed and Lucy says that she's glad I got one. Then I talk with Tim, who thanks me for introducing him to J :)

On my way to the hotel, I bump into the Spaniards again! They ask me how come I speak English so well, as this is kind a private joke that French and Spanish people are bad at languages, so I give them my best French accent impression. "Oh you can fake it, clever!". Fun fact, they were staying in the room next to mine at the Premier Inn!

18th November 2023

Almost the end of the tour, boo!

Off to Manchester today so two coaches to take, changing in Birmingham (again!). It's pissing down (again!) when I reach the hotel. Just realised I didn't buy any thank you card for the band and as tomorrow is Sunday, I'd better buy it today, find one with balloons in Tesco, perfect!

I reach the venue and there are people queueing... Wait there are two gigs today, Callum Bowie downstairs and PBE upstairs, and even a private birthday party in the basement! We organise ourselves into two queues, which the security was impressed with!

Having already been here two years before to see Haiku Salut, I was glad to see this beautiful venue again. The gig was awesome and there is an actual video of the whole lot on You Tube!

I buy all the Ciel merch, that is the brand new double EP, the former EP on CD and a lovely tote bag. Aubs tells us of all the stuff they've forgotten in venues (including the bloody mixing desk, for Christ's sake) and we leave.

19th November 2023

Last date of the tour... First an early coach back to London where I take the train to Brighton before checking-in at the Premier Inn.

I write the card then cry the whole afternoon... Well, maybe this way I won't be crying during the gig this way?

No surprise, first in the queue again, under the rain again...

There's a barrier, an ugly one as Michelle and Tim told me the day before, but we're still pretty close to the stage! Well, I was almost in Michelle's face during the Ciel set!

Matt thanks Doug for manning the merch, and I thought he wouldn't talk about me because he did in Oxford, but no, he chose the moment I was crying my head off after Chelsea to thank me again for coming to all the shows, bless him (again!).

After the gig, I meet Tim's girlfriend, who thinks this was so sweet what I did for him, because apparently, he talked about it for hours afterwards, well I like to be kind with people and I guess would our positions be switched, I would also have appreciated it :)

Well, that's another wrap on another great PBE tour! Who knows where and when I'll be seeing them again! At least I'm seeing Ciel in February!

#pbemusic #pbe #ciel #tour diary

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fingfamily-blog-blog · 1 year

Text

Tension

At the moment, I'm waiting for an online writing session to start. I only know that some students who want to submit an essay to the essay contest next week would like to have some time with me. But nobody has shown up yet. Funny. And yet, it was only three hours ago that my student, Salma, told me that today would be the session, and we wildcatted a time, 2 p.m. So no surprise really if others haven't come. This is not unusual in Indonesia. Somebody will appear and say, "We're going to do this thing now." And I have to do it, prepared or not. I'm not sure what the culture is that allows for such spontaneity. And it may be a charming thing. Since my scuba lessons, I'm trying to be more aware of how tense I am in response to things, and to roll a bit more fluidly. And to continue reflecting on that, for my second dive, Simone, the owner and dynamo of the Thalassa Dive Resort, came along, not to be with me, but to lead another set of more experienced divers. I finished the training, with some underwater difficulties. Navigating with a compass was a struggle, and I was left alone on the floor of the ocean and I sensed that my air was running out. It was at 10 bar, so I would say it WAS running out, and the breathing was both harder, and less of the air was flowing. I wouldn't say that I panicked, but I decided that, even though I was alone, I would surface and take care of myself so I wouldn't panic. Of course, this went down badly with my instructor Davin, who had surely had enough of me. Once we were back in the boat, Simone asked me if I would like her to be my instructor going forward, that is, if I continued my training beyond the Open Water certificate and into the Advanced Open Water cert. I thought this was a kind gesture for both Davin and me. I told her I wanted to get through the first level before thinking about the next. But later, back at the hotel, she told me, "You are too tense." Christ. There are a few possible answers to the "calm down" argument. One is, "I'm calm." But that falls on deaf ears because the person you are saying that to is the one who just told you to calm down. The other is to give a reason for not being calm, but that's not the same as actually calming down. So what "calm down" means to people who hear it is generally more like "submit to me," "do what I say." Of course when you're a student, you have to do as you're told. But what you're told has to make sense, has to have an understandable context. I hesitate to go into further detail. The best thing, although, as you may be able to tell, in my case not the most comfortable thing, is to agree, "Yes, I'm too tense. I need to calm down." I felt like I did that numerous times in my training, but that the context was rarely as clear as I would have liked. And of course then my ego took hits which I didn't enjoy. If I say so myself, I'm not a big ego person. But everyone has some ego and it's sensitive when provoked. Rather like this online session which I waited for, and which did happen, although it started about 20 minutes late. The students who came to the session are planning to write an essay for a contest and they were looking for assistance. But none of them showed their faces. Only two of them spoke, and after I shared some basics about essay structure, introduction, conclusion, thesis statement, the two questions I received first were about the titles of the essays. Well, I don't teach titles. And so I asked the students, "How many of you think you will win the contest based on your title?" Of course that went over badly. In fact, the whole thing went over badly. Nobody in Indonesia wants to learn efficiency. They want to reify the byzantine ways that have been handed down to them. They don't want a new system, they want to reinforce the system they have. I told them that good essay structure can be conveyed in 5 sentence paragraphs. One student asked, "Can I write 8, 9 or 10 sentences in a paragraph?" Well, yes, you can. But that won't make the paragraph any more effective. In fact, it will give you many more chances to screw it up, and cause you to wander with your ideas, and not communicate directly. The reader is expecting ideas to be presented and supported, and then to move on to the next idea. I asked the students to speak up. They wouldn't. I asked them to write their topics in the chat box. THEY WOULDN'T DO IT. I asked Salma (my student and the organizer of the session) why don't they speak up? She said, "They're shy." Of course, I understand that. I tell them I can be shy too. But a teacher is a helper, and you came to this session because you want help with an essay. If you don't even share your topic, HOW CAN I HELP?!?!? At least three times in the session I wanted to throw my hands up and say, "This is pointless!" But I'm not so tense that I actually did that. But I am tense enough to know that my time in Indonesia as a teacher has been a failure - not perhaps complete and total, but in the vast majority. And that's because their educational system is not built on individuals maximizing their intellectual abilities. It's built on doing what everybody else does without thinking about it. And I will never fit into, or be able to assist in, such a system. I expect too much of individuals. And I'm too tense.

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dysfunctionalcrab · 3 years

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cute vets, pets, and boys

Pairing: Quackity x reader

Pronouns: Gender neutral

Description: Tiger needs to go to vets. Over there, his owner meets a cute veterinary assistant (yes, I mean you)

Notes: Doctor Anderson is the name of an actual doctor I shadowed I couldn’t think of anything else okay, leave me alone.

His knee bounced up and down impatiently. The place was unusually packed today.

Tiger sat in his basket, loafed and with his eyes closed. Quackity’s heart ached for the small cat, the poor animal had stopped his regular eating habits. When he filled his bowl, it was only half finished, which was abnormal, since Tiger was usually finished within 10 minutes, and then meowed for some more.

He glanced at the clock, sighing after calculating that he had been been waiting for almost a whole hour, until a vaguely familiar man walked into the room with a clipboard. He was a middle aged man, grey hair and and stubble. He wore giant glasses with black frames. It was only when Quackity’s eyes landed on the name tag pinned to the pocket of his white lab coat, did he realise this was their regular vet.

“Alex!” He called out, looking up from his clipboard and locking eyes with him

Tiger hadn’t been to vet in ages, and when he did, it was usually his mom who took him, so to see him so enthusiastic, or even remember his name, startled him quite a bit.

He stood up, clutching the handle of the cat basket and lifting it off the floor.

“Doctor Anderson?” He tried to play it off as if he wasn’t reading his badge to remember his name.

“How have you been?” The doctor asked him.

“I’ve been good, busy, but good,”

“How are you? How is your mom?”

Quackity tried to be polite, answering all the questions he had. But in reality, he didn’t care about catching up with his vet, especially after waiting an hour of waiting just to even be spoken to while his cat sat miserably in his basket. It had entirely ruined his mood. He just wanted to know what was wrong with his cat.

He was relieved when Doctor Anderson finally ushered him into the room.

The doctor walked in with another man, he looked young. This man was going to be the final patient you assist before finally finishing the veterinary experience course. You took a deep breath and approached them both.

The other guy looked you, not in a weird way, but just to curious to who you were. You offered him a kind smile, and when you started to think wasnt going to, he returned it. Doctor Anderson watched the interaction from across the room.

“This is [Y/N],” he introduced, putting a gentle hand behind your back. “They’ve been shadowing me for the last 2 months, today is their final day,”

Quackity nodded, glancing towards you again, but less soft. Your smile dropped. You started to assume he wasn’t in a good mood today, especially since he probably had a sick animal with you. So, you resorted to standing in the corner of the room, just to observe.

“So then, how can I help you?” The doctor asked him

“I don’t know,” You watched him as he distressedly pushed his hair away, alongside fiddling and adjusting his beanie anxiously. “Tiger just hasn’t been eating lately and it’s been worrying me,”

Doctor Anderson opened up the basket and took out a small tabby cat who you now knew was named ‘Tiger’. Your heart awed at the cat, you loved cats. I mean, you loved animals in general, which was the reason you wanted to help them.

You watched as he started to check the cat, feeling his fur and his body for any irregularities. His face was fully focused, eyebrows furrowing. You could tell the owner was nervous since he was rubbing the seam of his shirt aggressively between his finger and thumb.

“Has Tiger ever-“

The door suddenly swung open with a loud creak. All your heads snapped towards the entrance, another doctor stood there, her face a little sweaty and she was huffing, completely out of breath

“Doctor- we need you please, it’s urgent,” She stated.

The doctor looked at you, and then looked at the cat, and then looked back at you. You felt yourself freeze in fear. You knew what he was asking, and you frantically shook your head, pleading with your eyes that he didn’t leave you alone.

“You’ll be fine,” he whispered, before taking off and dashing out the room,‘following the tinder woman. He accidentally slammed the door a little hard that the noise startled Tiger. He let out a small and scared meow.

You pursed your lips, looking down sympathetically at the cat. You then looked at his owner, he was giving you a blank, expressionless stare, his brown eyes told you he was a mixture of tired, irritated but concerned. You wondered how long he’d been waiting.

Quackity was nervous around pretty people, he was far from confident. After the way you smiled at him, he felt himself heat up. He’d be lying he if he said he didn’t find you cute.

If you weren’t in such a formal environment, he’d be initiating some sort of casual conversation with you to start things going, if he even knew how to. But now, especially since he had a sick cat with him, wasn’t the ideal situation. Your voice interrupted his train of thoughts.

“So,” you gnawed at your lip nervously. “He’s lost his appetite?

Quackity nodded slowly.

You hummed, observing her on the table. He was a cute little cat, his eyes were glossy and wide. You felt a pain in your chest at the poor thing. You had never been left alone with a patient before, so you were anxious to say the least.

“Has this ever happened before?” You asked

He shook his head. “Uh- no. No it hasn’t.”

You stroked her, he immediately nuzzled into your palm. You and him both locked eyes at the adorable moment.

“He’s cute,” You stated.

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “He is.”

He picked up a mental note of your interaction with him. It was uncommon that Tiger relaxed at someone’s touch so easily, usually he would do that at-least within a week of knowing or playing with them. He was also quite aggressive, living up to his name.

“You don’t need to worry, you know, I’m sure he’s fine, the worst it could be is like- kidney disease or something,”

His eyes widened

“Not that it is!” You took back, wishing you could swallow your words back up again. “I didn’t mean it like that, I was just saying that he could-“

He raised an eyebrow at you, this time out of confusion of your rambling.

“I’ll stop talking now.” You muttered to yourself

You felt ridiculous, being so nervous. You couldn’t tell if it was from the pressure, or the fact he had a strong gaze on you.

“I’m going to check his teeth, if that’s okay?” You asked

Quackity stepped back abit from the table. “Yeah, yeah, of course, do whatever you need,”

You patted her head before positioning her so you could look at her mouth. You gently held her head and used your fingers carefully to pull her jaw open. It all looked pretty normal, until your eye fixated on one of her canines that were looking black at the root.

You sighed, observing it a little longer. You smiled, thankful that you found the problem. It was funny to you how this guy hadn’t even thought to check her mouth before-hand.

“Well, we’ve found the problem,” you said. Quackity stepped closer and watched to where you finger was pointing. “Just a bad tooth, it most likely hurts when he eats,”

You smiled at him reassuringly and he relaxed. His Tiger was going to be just fine

“So now what?” Quackity asked you, petting Tiger. He quietly purred

You ran your tongue at the seam of your lips. “I don’t know, I guess. I don’t think if it’s legally permissible for me to diagnose anything or 8 anything- I think,” you spoke awkwardly. “It’s better to just wait for the doctor to come back,”

He nodded again. The silence in the room was making it a little uncomfortable for the both of you, the only thing making it less... weird, was the cute little cat laying on the table.

“So, how long have you been shadowing him again?”

You bit the inside of your cheek, he was clearly just trying to make conversation with you to diffuse the awkwardness.

“For two months,” you answered. “Today is actually my last day.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, kind of disappointed actually, this experience has been quite nice. Now it’s back to textbooks and PowerPoint presentations, it’s like being stuck back in high school”

“I get that. Law school is just case after case and it can get boring sometimes,”

“Law school? Holy crap,” you said, before throwing a hand over your mouth, remembering he was still just a patient. “Sorry, excuse the language,”

He giggled nervously. “Don’t worry about about it,”

Conversation with him from then on was easy. It flowed quite smoothly, from talking about about school to other general things.

He liked the way you listened, Quackity knew that he waffled on about certain subjects a whole lot. But you seemed to actually be interested, your face lighting up every time. You found it sweet the way he talked so passionately about things, for a stranger, you were pretty intrigued.

You enjoyed his company for the next 30 minutes, still waiting for Doctor Anderson to come back after rushing out of the door. To be fair, It was nice to have conversation during the day that wasn’t with a fifty five year old man for once.

“But we have restaurants here like Chipotle, or Taco bell!” You exclaimed, now sitting beside him on one of the blue chairs.

“They’ve never been as good as the ones I’ve had in Mexico,” he told you.

“Well then I guess-“

Again. The noisy door swung open. Both your heads simultaneously turning towards it. The doctor walked back into the room, his hair was a little ruffled and messy. He came in as if he was looking for a certain something, and then his eyes landed on you.

“[Y/N]? What are you still doing here?” He questioned, looking at his watch. “It’s past four o’clock,”

You took out your phone from your back pocket. Damn, time really flew by and you didn’t even realise.

“We were just talking about Tiger, he’s got a bad tooth,” you said

The doctor smiled at you. “Good work, [Y/N]!” He said, pride overtaking his voice. “But it’s really time for you to go home. You can pack up your things now and relax! You’re finally finished!”

“Oh-,” you said, feeling the slightest bit disappointed as you looked at Quackity. “Thank you,”

You stood up and hesitantly slipped off the spare white lab coat, folding it up and placing it in on a nearby counter.

You looked at Quackity again, his eyes were almost saying ‘sorry’ for you having to leave.

Quackity watched you leave the room. His mood dropping straight away. He knew he wasn’t going to speak to you again after this.

The doctor started talking to him again, giving him advice for Tiger and how they would deal with the problem. However, the unfortunate problem was, his attention was focused on you. You know sometimes you talk to someone once and then for the rest of the year you constantly think about that interaction? Yeah, that’s how he was feeling. He had no idea why you had suddenly invaded all his thoughts.

Too bad you’d left without so much of a goodbye.

If only he built up the courage and asked for your number.

———

Masterlist

Taglist: @inniterhq @basilly @nite-land @bunnyloo @siriushxney @notphilosopherstudentblog @tinyegg @dreamiewrites @kai-was-here @shiyanchan

#mcyt x reader #mcyt imagines #mcyt imagine #quackity x reader #Quackity imagines #quackity imagine #quackity x you #quackity fanfiction #quackityhq x reader #quackityhq imagine #quackityhq imagines #quackityhq FANFICTION

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bulletnotestudies · 3 years

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☁️ 10 tips on studying when your motivation’s nowhere to be found

i got an ask about this yesterday and decided to turn my reply into a post because having trouble focusing when you’re super unmotivated is really common, so i thought more people might find this helpful :) buckle up kiddos, this is gonna be a long one!

1. i want you to remember that this is a universal experience.

every student out there struggles like hell sometimes, and that’s completely normal; you’re not a machine and that means you can’t possibly churn out work 24/7 without burning out. so try not to beat yourself up too much okay, you’re doing great!

2. take a deep breath and identify the reason you’re feeling like this

are you burnt out because of stress or overworking yourself? are you overwhelmed by the amount of tasks on your plate? is there a particular assignment or exam scaring you to the point where you don’t want to start studying? these are all normal reasons for lack of motivation and knowing the why will help you figure out the how - you gotta know the problem to solve it.

3. i know you feel like you’re months behind, but start small

small achievements accumulate. repeat this sentence to yourself daily, write it on a sticky note and keep it on the wall above your desk (it’s exactly what i did). break up daunting tasks into smaller ones; got a billion formulae to know by heart? memorise 3 every day (you’ll have memorised more than 20 by the end of the week!). got a long chapter to study? divide it into smaller chunks and just focus on 1-3 pages a day. slow and steady, you can do it

4. the pomodoro technique is a lifesaver!

i always use this technique when i’m feeling unmotivated and cannot focus. sometimes, your mind just won’t stop wandering off and so scheduling regular breaks is a must! try going for 25 minutes of work, followed by a 5 minute break, then repeat the cycle :) you’ll be less tempted to prolong your break if you know there’s another one coming in less than half an hour. if 25min is too long, try just 15 minutes of focus and work your way up form there - there’s no shame in studying in really short bursts! sometimes that’s all you can bring yourself to do and that’s okay! and if you can, i really recommend a 45/15 or 50/10 ratio (those are the ratios me and my friend - 2nd year med students - use the most :))

5. track your productivity

use the forest mobile app or a hand-drawn productivity tracker in your bujo - a visual representation of productivity will activate the reward system part of your brain. it’s the same part that’s involved in addiction formation and you can use it to your advantage - get a mini high from seeing your effort, not only from seeing your results!

6. set up a reward system

continuing on that tangent: sometimes, a short break isn’t enough motivation to stay focused. sometimes, you gotta pull a little sneaky on yourself and bribe your brain. some examples: - ‘if i can manage to reach 3 hours of productivity today, i’ll watch my fave movie in the evening’ - ‘i’ll have a bubble bath once i finish reading this chapter’ - ‘if i complete this assignment by the end of the week, i can do absolutely nothing the whole day come Saturday’

7. consider different sources/modes of studying

switching things up can do wonders; try making flashcards on quizlet, watching youtube videos on the topics you’ll be tested on, you can read wikipedia articles (wikipedia is severely underrated!), browse for podcasts on the topic, there’s a million different ways to learn, not just sitting down and reading from your textbook for hours on end :) on a similar note, if you have the option, try studying elsewhere - go to the kitchen table or study on the floor - beware of the bed and sofa! not a good idea, you’ll most likely end up taking a nap.

8. take care of your body and your mental health

have you drunk enough water today? have you eaten enough vitamin-rich foods? make a healthy snack! or get your fave comfort food, that works too, extra serotonin :) have you been outside in the past 3 days? if not, i highly recommend a short walk outside (if your corona regulations allow it, ofc). i know getting out of your house is hard, i suck at it myself, but getting fresh air and direct sunlight is crucial for your wellbeing! think of yourself as a slightly more complicated house plant:) you gotta nourish to flourish!

9. stop for a second and think how you value your work.

i’m sure you’ve done more than you give yourself credit for. it may seem too little, a drop in the sea of assignments you’ve yet to hand in, but every single minute of effort counts! every little task you do brings you closer to your goal! replied to a school email? good for you, you’ve got your correspondence covered and your professor knows you’re working hard. took 3 minutes to clear your study space? wonderful, a fresh setup = a fresh mindset! got more than 6 hours of sleep? yay, your brain had time to recuperate from a day’s worth of activities!

10. and again, you are not alone in this!

i promise there are at least 50 other people feeling exactly the same as you at any given moment. we all struggle with the same things, in one way or another, and motivating each other always helps. whether it be aggressive pep talks or gentle words of encouragement, studyblrs always have each other’s backs and you can message practically anyone in this community if you’re in need of support :) our job is to hype each other up and watch as we reach our respective goals <3

take care and good luck with your studies!

some additional posts you may find helpful: ◦ a wonderful ‘how to get stuff done’ guide ◦ energy management ◦ focus & productivity tips ◦ a very straight to the point guide to starting a successful study sesh ◦ how to handle having too much to do

my other masterposts: study sounds⎪dealing with failure⎪chrome extensions for students

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kpopfanfictrash · 3 years

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Raise the Barre (Ch. 8)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: Jimin / Reader

Rating: 18+ (Eventual Smut)

Genre: Enemies to Lovers / Dance Academy!AU

Warnings: underage drinking, angst, hoseok’s bare abs

Word Count: 10,705

Summary: You and Park Jimin have been rivals for as long as you’ve known one another; ever since he tripped you in the front row of your first dance convention. When you graduate from high school and enter Russet Ballet Academy, you tell yourself you’re leaving all past quarrels behind. The main problem with this though, is that your past seems determined not to leave you alone.

Worse still, the obstacles you face while out in the real world might prove more challenging than anything your enemy has to offer.

“Okay, even you have to admit this is too soon.” Finn stared, appalled at the chalkboard. “It’s not even Halloween!”

Laughing a little, you looped your arm around his to drag him towards the back. Plopping down in a chair, you placed your order number in the center of the table. Seating himself across the table from you, Finn began to undo his coat.

“Come on.” He grinned, brown hair flopping when he leaned forward. “Admit it – this is too early for holiday drinks.”

“Okay, maybe it’s a little early,” you acquiesced. “But Halloween is tomorrow! They probably just put up the holiday drinks so they don’t have to do it on Sunday.”

“Laziness!” he cried, jabbing a finger in the air.

Shaking your head, you smiled when Namjoon, the barista, placed a pumpkin soy latte before you.

“Thanks!” you said, pulling this towards you.

“No problem,” he said, flashing his dimples before he turned to leave.

Taking a long, slow sip of your drink, you groaned. “Oh my god. This is it. This is heaven.”

Finn laughed. “Is that seriously your first pumpkin drink of the season?” Sadly, he shook his head. “I remember our senior year, you dragged me out of bed at 7:00 AM on a Saturday just to get the first pumpkin drink of the year.”

“I know,” you sighed. “But I’ve needed the extra caffeine jolt each morning. Sweet drinks just don’t cut it anymore.”

“Ah, the first step in addiction.” Finn nodded sagely.

Smiling, you settled back in your seat as he took the first sip of his black coffee. It had been two weeks since your fight at the club and since then, Finn had been on his best behavior. For about a week, things between you had been awkward but slowly, your relationship was returning to normal.

Seated in the corner of your favorite coffee shop, you drank from your cup and glanced around the room. This was what you’d pictured when you imagined you and Finn living in the city together. Coffee dates, going on new adventures and continuing your relationship where it had left off.

Of course, this morning was only possible because Miss Britt’s ballet class had been cancelled. A contemporary master class had been scheduled for the afternoon, but your day before then was free – something you’d immediately taken advantage of by calling Finn. It was becoming easier to fit each other into your schedules, more like second nature, but things were still tense whenever things didn’t line up.

None of this was eased by the burgeoning whatever-it-was you’d shoved to the back of your mind regarding Jimin. Since the day of Mr. Vlad’s ballet class, you’d managed to keep your emotions in check, but were constantly on the lookout for dangerous situations. You and Jimin were professionals, obviously, but you were also only human. It was reasonable to have subconscious wants and desires, but these weren’t important unless you chose to act upon them.

You didn’t tell Finn about it because honestly, there was nothing to tell. Okay, so you’d felt an errant spark one day during a lift. Big deal. Finn had been your boyfriend for over two years – it would take more than that to threaten your relationship. A relationship which, frankly, had been getting stronger as of late. Telling him something as inconsequential as a spark you had with Jimin would only take you further down the wrong path.

“Are you sure you’re okay with us doing separate things tomorrow?” Finn interrupted your thoughts. His brow furrowed. “It is Halloween, after all.”

“Ah, yes.” You nodded. “Halloween, the internationally known couple’s holiday.”

He laughed. “Okay, point made – but still.”

“It’s fine,” you assured him. This was something you’d already been over. “It just makes sense like this! Your friends are going to that off-campus party and I promised Noelle I’d go to this club thing with her.”

“Right, of course.” Finn grinned. “I’m bummed I’ll miss seeing you as the Powerpuff girls, though. Who’s going to be the third one, again?”

“Well, I’m Blossom – obviously.”

“Of course.” He nodded. “Miss Responsibility.”

A twinge of annoyance went through you, but you pushed it aside. You didn’t think you were always the responsible one but admittedly, you’d been more on edge than usual lately.

“Anyways,” you continued with a roll of your eyes. “I’m Blossom, Noelle is Buttercup and Irene is going as Bubbles. It’ll be fun! Aside from the whole club part, of course.”

“It does sound fun,” Finn admitted, a tad mournful. “Meanwhile, I’ve been roped into the classic college bro costume of Ghostbusters.”

“Oh, come on! That is classic! You’ll be super cute in your… suit? Cargo pants? What do Ghostbusters wear again?”

“Knowing Ben, something tragic from Party City. Pray for me.”

“I’ll light candles.”

Finn grinned, sipping his coffee again and your conversation slipped naturally to other topics.

Halloween fell on a Saturday this year, which meant every college campus was gearing up for some epic parties. Noelle had managed to snag tickets to a club fancy enough to require an RSVP. Apparently, said brother she missed was a DJ and could get tickets to a lot of things if Noelle bothered to ask.

A bunch of people from Russet were going, which made you excited. There hadn’t been many parties with your classmates so far this semester. Despite technically being in college, your classmates were all under the same intense pressure, only made worse by constant early morning ballet.

This week though, even your teachers seemed to have decided you needed a break. Aside from the master class you had this afternoon, there were zero Russet classes until Monday morning. The break in schedule meant you could actually go out – and drink – if you so decided. You and Noelle were planning on attending a ballet class tomorrow, but your entire day after would be free.

You’d originally planned on seeing Finn during the day, but then he’d been invited to a Halloween darty (day party) starting at noon. Despite not seeing Finn on Halloween, you weren’t feeling stressed. It was only one holiday and not even a couple’s one, as you’d said.

After coffee, you kissed Finn goodbye and headed to class at Danley Hall. The atmosphere was different as soon as you entered the classroom – all of the students were buzzing, excited by the prospect of the weekend ahead. The excitement only grew when coupled with the fact that today’s class was contemporary.

For nearly two months, your training had been mostly ballet. This was the foundation of all western dance, and where most dance students were expected to start. Finally though, you were being given a chance to show off. Today’s teacher, Luna Jordan, was a well-known contemporary choreographer across the globe.

You’d done a master class with her once back in high school and honestly couldn’t wait to learn from her again. She wasn’t alone, though, you noticed as you walked in – an unfamiliar, dark-haired guy stood beside her, stretching lithely before the room’s mirror.

“Holy shit,” Noelle whispered as she came to a stop. “That’s Jeon Jungkook.”

Startled, you looked twice and saw she was right. You hadn’t recognized him without his bevy of followers, but Jeon Jungkook was known in the dance world. A child prodigy, he’d been on America’s Got Talent at age eleven and finished in second place. Following this, his family had moved to LA and he’d been in high demand for movies, music videos and performances ever since.

You remembered hearing he worked with Luna Jordan, but the thought hadn’t crossed your mind before now that he might be here.

Noelle cocked her head to one side. “He’s hot.”

“Noelle,” you hissed, trying to shush her.

“What!” A devious grin spread across her face. “Am I supposed to be blind, as well as mute?”

“Well, no, but –”

“Alright, everyone!” Miss Luna clapped her hands together. “I know everyone is excited for the weekend, but we unfortunately have an hour and a half together before then. Everyone spread out for warm-ups!”

A few people laughed, spreading out on the floor as class began. Noelle wriggled her eyebrows, pulling you towards the front in order to get the best spot. Hiding a smile, you ducked your head and settled beside her into a stretch.

Noelle was nearly as excited as you were for the opportunity to dance contemporary. Most of your classmates knew this to be your forte – you caught glances from the corner of your eye while you warmed up, trying not to let their attention get to your head.

Jimin was also near the front, although on the opposite side. You suspected your class was equally excited to see him perform – as talented as Jimin was at ballet, there was a reason you hadn’t thought he’d be at Russet this fall. Jimin’s strength in jazz and contemporary was unparalleled. You would’ve thought he’d gone to LA to become a dancer like Jungkook.

Speaking of whom – Jungkook really was attractive; that much couldn’t be denied. He had dark, wavy hair pulled into a bun and cheekbones sharp enough to cut glass. When he glanced up from his stretch, his gaze somehow found yours and he smiled.

Eyes widening, you stared until you caught sight of Jimin behind him. Glancing between the two of you, Jimin’s expression soured before he looked away. Lips parting, you felt the sudden urge to say something, but there was too much distance between you.

“You ready?” Miss Luna called, an upbeat pop song blasting from the stereo. “Let’s go!”

She launched into isolations, leaving the rest of the class to follow. Warm-ups passed quickly and before you knew it, you were gathered at center to learn the combination. Miss Luna’s style was right up your alley. The steps came easily and, once you’d learned the whole chorus, she left you alone to practice.

You were helping Ari with a difficult move when you caught sight of Sabrina as you turned. She’d positioned herself near the back, which had to be a first. Usually, Sabrina was front and center to allow for maximum receipt of teacher praise.

The decision to stand near the back could’ve been strategy – sometimes, dancers did that at conventions. Conventions were giant weekends of competition with teachers from all over the globe who taught master classes to hundreds of dancers in hotel ballrooms and convention centers. Space at the front tended to be limited, so some stayed at the back, where there was more room to dance and be seen. You had a greater likelihood to capture the teacher’s attention when you had the room to do incredible leaps.

Sabrina’s decision didn’t seem strategic, though. While you watched, Sabrina stumbled transitioning from one move to the next. A brief twinge of pity went through you.

It was easy enough to spot ballerinas dancing anything but ballet. Although ballet was the root of modern westernized dance, it could be hard to translate into other styles. Ballet was more rigid than contemporary, jazz or hip-hop. In ballet, each position was defined, individual style was limited, and dancers were expected to all look the same. Standing out in the corps de ballet was equally frowned upon as missing an entrance.

Not that ballet wasn’t important to all dance styles, mind you. Even hip-hop dancers took ballet to improve their balance, core strength and general understanding of the body. There was an element of individuality in other dance styles, though, which lacked in ballet. Contemporary and hip-hop dancers were expected to have relentless technique all while creating their own, unique flair.

Just looking at Sabrina you could clearly see the holes. She was trying so hard to emulate the moves of Miss Luna, she was kind of missing the point. When Miss Luna did a certain flick of the wrist, it wasn’t a defined part of the choreography, but rather an individual choice.

Without thinking, you took a step forward – only to stop. Sabrina wouldn’t want your help; she’d already made that abundantly clear. Besides, you knew her friend Katie to be a contemporary dancer. She could help Sabrina and yet, when you looked, you saw Katie practicing near the front with Jungkook.

Jungkook obviously knew the steps, since this was probably the tenth time he’d learned the combination. Dance teachers often did that – selected a dancer to attend classes with them, traveling to different cities to demonstrate the combination and help when they weren’t free.

Before you could decide whether to help Sabrina, Miss Luna clapped her hands again.

“Let’s do groups!” she declared. “I’ll count you off into groups of four, and each group will showcase. Sound good?”

It wasn’t really a question so much as an announcement. The rest of the class nodded, waiting while Miss Luna counted you off. You ended up in the same group as Irene, Paulo and a few others. Jimin and Noelle were in the group two, while Sabrina was in the group after theirs.

Jogging off to the side, you waited while the first group took center. You were part of group four, which meant you’d be amongst the last to dance on the floor. When the music began, you closed your eyes and began to mark the combination. You tried not to focus on what anyone else was doing, but this became difficult once Noelle’s group stepped up.

Noelle had trained in jazz and contemporary, although she’d stopped in high school to focus mainly on ballet. Still, her artistry shone in her movement. She could definitely stand to loosen up a bit but was still one of the best in the bunch. You found yourself smiling when she landed a turn, silently cheering her on from the side.

While you were watching, Jimin cut across your vision.

Dropping to the ground, he rolled and arched as his forehead brushed wood. His quality of movement was breathtaking and for a moment, you felt like you were back in high school.

Suddenly returned to those dimmed auditoriums, you watched Jimin take the stage like an otherworldly being. His body seemed to move before your mind could comprehend. Barely did he finish one move before he was starting another, the steps flowing endlessly together like unhindered water. Although you knew the combination and knew how you would dance it, watching Jimin perform was a different experience entirely.

Ballet required dancers to stay on the beat but in contemporary, they were expected to lag. Extensions were all the more breathtaking when they clung to the last second, seeming as though the dancer might not make it before they caught up. Jimin was an expert in this, knowing exactly when to hang precariously over the edge and when to pull back.

Watching him dance, that pesky, strange something bloomed in your chest again.

Squashing this quickly, you looked away and resumed marking the combo. The end of the song was improvisation though and, unable to stop yourself, you found your attention drifting to Jimin again. He was ridiculously beautiful – you nearly didn’t hear when Miss Luna called for them to stop. As she turned off the music, she applauded the group while they walked from the floor.

Breathing heavily, Noelle came to a stop alongside you and – somewhat guiltily, since you hadn’t been watching – you gave her a high-five.

“That was awesome!” you said with a grin. “You definitely stood out in the group.”

Noelle snort-laughed. “Not with Jimin up there, but that’s okay. This is his specialty – and yours,” she added with a wink. “I’m psyched for group four.”

“Ah,” you groaned, rubbing your neck. “Too much pressure.”

Noelle laughed, shaking her head as group three took the floor. Both of you fell silent to watch, your curious gaze finding Sabrina in the back. Sabrina looked almost nervous; an emotion which seemed out of place on her features. It made her look almost human.

As soon as the music began, you stifled a wince. Sabrina stood out from the group, and not in a good way. She had the combination down but moved with a woodenness you would’ve expected from someone half her age. It was enough for you to glance at Miss Luna, wondering if she had noticed.

“Wow,” Noelle whispered, looking almost gleeful. “Sabrina is terrible.”

“Noelle!” you whisper-laughed.

“What? After everything she’s done? After everything she’s said?” Noelle’s gaze narrowed. “Sabrina deserves this.”

Despite privately agreeing, you couldn’t help but feel bad as Sabrina continued. Not wanting to watch any longer, you turned towards the front and resumed marking the combo. As soon as Miss Luna cut the music and polite clapping ensued, you turned back around.

It was time for group four. A shaky, sick feeling entered your stomach as you walked to center. So many eyes were on you, but it had been so long since you danced contemporary. You couldn’t help but wonder if you were as good as people seemed to imagine. Surrounded by so many dancers at Russet, surely your own talent would pale in comparison.

As soon as the music began though, everything faded. Insecurities slipping away, a lightness entered your chest as, eyes falling shut, you slowly inhaled.

Taking a step forward, you opened your eyes and began.

To you, dance had several phases. The first was learning, where you memorized each step and put them in order. The second was understanding, where your muscle memory began to take over and the combination felt smoother. The final phase, performance, was when you thought not of the steps, and were free to just dance.

This was your favorite phrase. In this phase, your mind separated from your body, leaving you only with sweat and emotion. Dance was the only art form composed solely of the body. An odd combination of physical strength and artistic beauty, it was both a testament to human capability and human emotion.

Losing yourself in the music, you ebbed and flowed through the combination until the choreography ended and improvisation began. Finally, you let go and held nothing back. Raw, unbridled passion poured out as you lost sight of yourself, so consumed by the movement.

When the song finally finished and you came to a stop, you were panting for breath. Glancing up, the first person you saw was Jimin.

He stood off to one side, leaning casually against the rungs of the barre, but his expression was anything but. Focused on you, his gaze had turned dark in a way which made you catch your breath.

Miss Luna clapped both hands once again, returning your attention to her. Blinking, Jimin shook his head and in your peripheral, you saw him straighten.

“Very good!” Miss Luna scanned the group. “I know our time is nearly at and end, but why don’t we have a few students come out and demonstrate?”

Again, this was fairly common in master classes. After learning the combination, teachers would often single out students to perform as examples. It wasn’t always the students with the best technique who got chosen. Oftentimes, it was as much for passion and performance quality.

Taking a step forward, Miss Luna began to call out names. You were one of the first – setting your water down, you jogged back to center. Jimin was the next person called, then Noelle, much to your excitement. Jungkook was also instructed to join on the floor.

Turning the lights halfway down, Miss Luna pressed play and let you improvise until the combination began. Jungkook started dancing and honestly, he was beautiful, but you couldn’t linger on him for long.

Catching sight of Jimin again, you were once more transported to earlier times. This wasn’t the first time you’d been called out together. Oftentimes, this had happened at conventions but back then, your mind had been too clouded to see him for who he was.

You’d always wanted to beat him in high school, but now, you were consumed by the oddest desire to see him do well.

Glancing up, Jimin caught your gaze and he smiled – but then, the combination began.

By the time you were finished, you could hardly catch your breath but somehow, you felt the most alive you’d been in ages. Back in your own element, surrounded by some of the most amazing dancers in the world – this was what you’d imagined when you came to Russet.

People around the room clapped, some of them begrudgingly. You got the impression many of your classmates weren’t used to not being chosen. As you walked from the floor, you saw surprisingly, Sabrina wasn’t amongst them.

Instead, Sabrina simply looked tired – as though she’d tried her best and it hadn’t been enough. You knew that look. You sympathized with that look.

The look lingered in the back of your mind while you packed up your things and listened to Noelle discuss Halloween tomorrow. When she mentioned Ari had decided to visit her family this weekend, an idea began to form in your mind.

“Wait,” you interrupted, looking up. “Ari can’t come tomorrow?”

Noelle shook her head. “Her brother just turned eighteen, so her whole family is having a party or something.”

“So… her ticket is free, then?”

“Yes…” Noelle paused. “Why? Y/N, what are you planning?”

“Okay. Hear me out,” you said as you shrugged on your coat. It was cold enough now for the coat to be necessary.

Noelle sighed, slinging her bag over her shoulder. “Alright, I’m listening.”

Glancing away, you saw Sabrina packing her things on the other side of the room. Before you could talk yourself out of it, you returned to Noelle.

“What if we invited Sabrina?”

Noelle snorted. “Pass.”

“Noelle,” you laughed, reaching out for her arm. “Come on! Do you really think she’s doing anything for Halloween?”

“Probably not. And that’s her own fault.”

“Maybe,” you said, glancing at Sabrina once more. “But how could it hurt? We have an extra ticket, there’ll be tons of people tomorrow night. She’ll probably say no – at least this way, you can claim a write-off on your way into heaven!”

Noelle upper lip twitched. “Oh, is that how write-offs work?”

“Well, I can only assume.”

Finally, she laughed. “Ugh, fine. You can invite her – but only because it’s Halloween, and Halloween is a time for peace. And slutty costumes.”

“Thanks, babe,” you said, squeezing her waist in a one-armed hug.

Sighing exaggeratedly, Noelle waved aside your thanks. Hiking your bag higher, you began to make your way across the room. As you closed in on Sabrina, you began to rethink your choice. It had been nearly a month since anything bad had happened between you but still, you found yourself feeling wary. As tough as you pretended to be, rejection hurt you just as much as the next person.

Still, dancing with Jimin had been a reminder of just how bitter your relationship used to be. If that relationship could change, you had to imagine things with Sabrina could, too.

Coming to a stop at her bag, you waited for her to look up. When she finally did, her brow wrinkled in confusion.

“What?” Sabrina asked, sounding defensive. “What do you want, Y/N?”

You couldn’t really blame her for her suspicion. Had your situations been reversed, you would’ve been equally distrustful. It was likely Sabrina thought you were coming over to gloat, or say something to do with class today. Another twinge of pity went through you as Sabrina zipped her bag shut to stand.

“I just wanted to know what you were doing tomorrow,” you said, trying to smile. “Noelle has an extra ticket to a Halloween party, and we thought you might like to come.”

Sabrina stared. “What?”

“Tomorrow is Halloween,” you said, a bit slower. “You know – when we were kids, it was all about costumes and candy. Now, it’s about costumes and booze?”

Sabrina failed to crack a smile. “And you want… me to come to this party?”

Something about the way she said this made you sad, as though she genuinely thought this might be a joke. As though at any moment, someone might jump out and yell SIKE.

“Yeah,” you said, softening a little. “Look – it’s not a big deal if you can’t make it. A bunch of our class is going though, so we thought of you.”

Sabrina hesitated, then glanced at the door. “Okay,” she said, looking back. “Okay, yeah. I’ll come.”

Stifling your surprise, you nodded. “Great. I’ll text you where to meet us tomorrow before the club. Wear a costume,” you added before walking away. “Noelle said it’s required.”

“Alright,” Sabrina said, so quiet you almost missed it.

Walking away, you were nearly at the door when Jungkook popped up before you. Flashing a smile, he fixed a loose strand of hair away from his face. Feet fumbling to a stop, you could only stare.

“Y/N, right?” he said, sounding shy.

Unable to find the words, you blinked in response. The way Jungkook danced had been so confident, you’d only assumed this to be his off-floor persona, as well. Hearing him sound shy was unexpected.

Also – you hadn’t expected him to know your name.

“I… yeah, that’s me.” Shaking your head, you smiled. “Jungkook, right?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I just wanted to say I’m such a big fan of your dancing. It was great to take class with you today.”

Without meaning to, a laugh escaped your lips. Jungkook stared at you, baffled until you quickly waved him off.

“Oh, no – no! Sorry,” you said. “I’m not laughing at you! I’m just laughing at the ridiculousness of you saying you’re a fan of me.”

Some of Jungkook’s wariness disappeared, and a small smile played across his lips.

“Well, I am.” His grin widened. “I used to assist on the convention circuit, too and I remember you being called out all the time. You and Jimin,” he added, glancing across the room.

You looked, too and saw Jimin still packing his things. His back was stiff, pointedly not looking in your direction. Lingering on him a moment, you returned to Jungkook.

“Still,” you said with a laugh. “It’s a bit of a stretch to say we took class together when you’re the teacher’s assistant.”

“True.” Jungkook paused. “Well, next time you’re in LA, let’s fix that. Let me know if you’re ever in town and we can take a class together.”

Despite yourself, your brows raised. It was harmless, but Jungkook was definitely flirting with you. He was attractive, sure and seemed nice, but he lived in LA and you had a boyfriend. You should probably leave before things had the chance to go any further. The last thing you needed was another complication. Adjusting your bag, you gave Jungkook a small smile.

“Sounds like a plan,” you said before turning away.

Jungkook chuckled from behind. “Bye, Y/N.”

As you joined Noelle at the door, she stared over your shoulder.

“What?” you said, coming to a stop.

Noelle’s gaze moved to yours in disbelief. “How?” she demanded as you exited class. “How do you have all these men just… tripping over themselves for you?”

Heat rising to your face, you shook your head. “That’s – I,” you sputtered. “You’re being ridiculous!”

“Am I?” Noelle grinned. “First Jimin, now Jungkook… and all this while having a boyfriend.”

“I… you... Jimin is not tripping over himself for me!”

Both her brows shot way, way up. “Is that the only part of the sentence you took objection to?”

“Shut up,” you groaned and shoved her in the side.

Noelle laughed but nodded. “Alright, fine! I’ll stop. Did Sabrina say she’ll come?”

“She did.”

“Great. I still don’t like her,” Noelle said, pushing open the door. “But I guess you’re right, I have an extra ticket. It’s nice to be nice.”

You laughed, pulling your coat tighter as you walked outside. “You’re a saint.”

While you walked, your phone dinged and pulling this from your pocket, you saw a notification on Instagram. Jeon_Jungkook97 has followed you.

Shaking your head, you returned this to your jacket as you continued. While it was nice of Jungkook to compliment your dancing, his approval didn’t mean as much as certain other peoples had. This realization stuck in your mind, making you wonder about Noelle’s teasing jibe.

She had said Jimin flirted with you, but that wasn’t true – was it? You would have known if Jimin were flirting. It was hard to pick out though, since Jimin was friendly with everyone. That was just who he was; as he’d said earlier, he liked to be liked. A note of uncertainty entered your thoughts though, recalling the ballet class with your chest pressed to his. Shoving this away, you forced yourself to focus on the upcoming weekend.

Halloween was a night for fun, for letting loose and enjoying yourself with your friends. You refused to let the night be spoiled by any lingering feelings – either from you, or towards you.

The next night was perfect Halloween weather.

Chilly, but not cold enough to risk snow falling. There were several Halloweens from childhood you could recall trick-or-treating with a winter coat flung over your costume because the temperature had dropped below freezing.

You, Noelle and Irene showed up to Paulo’s house around 8:00 PM, shivering a little while you stood on his doorstep. Paulo was one of the few freshmen who lived off-campus, having known several upperclassmen before he came to Russet. The brownstone he lived in was cute, with window boxes you imagined hosted flowers in the summer.

Tugging your pink and black minidress down, you adjusted your bow as Paulo opened the door.

Blinking, he took in your costumes. “The Powerpuff girls!” He cheered, raising an arm overhead. “Try not to take down any of the villains upstairs, yeah?”

“No promises,” said Irene, flicking hair over her shoulder.

Entering the house, you heard thumping bass from an apartment upstairs. Paulo lived on the third floor and as you climbed the steps, the music grew louder. It took Paulo two tries to shove open the door – “warped wood,” he explained – but once you were inside, you saw familiar faces.

“The Powerpuff girls!” Jasmine cried, jumping up from the couch. “Finally! Thank god – can you take down Eamon? He came here dressed as a potato, or something.”

“It’s an avocado!” Eamon shouted from the kitchen. He was dressed in a round, green costume with a halo overhead. “I’m ‘holy guacamole’ – get it?” he said, pointing at the halo.

Jasmine stared at him a moment. “That’s terrible. Worse than mine,” she said with a wave down her body. “I’ve been Princess Jasmine for the past five Halloweens. It’s easy to remember and I already have the outfit.”

Laughing, you shrugged off your coat and added this to a pile on the couch. “It’s a classic,” you agreed as you turned.

Noelle had managed to procure at least twenty tickets to the party tonight, so a lot of your freshman Russet class was in attendance. Including Sabrina, who stood in the corner, talking to Louis over cups of red punch. She looked up when you entered, pausing before she gave a small wave. Surprised by the gesture, you did the same.

“No.” Noelle groaned, coming to a stop alongside you. When you looked, you saw she’d already removed her coat. “Tell me Sabrina didn’t come to this party dressed as a ballerina.”

“We did invite her at the last minute,” you laughed. “Hard to find a good Halloween costume in a day.”

“Hey,” Noelle argued. “There’s no we here. You were the one who invited her, and you’ll be the one to accept the consequences should your social experiment fail.”

“Done,” you agreed. “Speaking of social experiments though, I’m ready to get drunk tonight. Where’s the alcohol?”

“Kitchen!” Irene called, brushing past. “Or – that’s where Brian disappeared to when we entered, so I can only assume.”

Telling Noelle you’d be back with drinks, you wound through the room towards where Irene had pointed. The kitchen was tiny, on par with most city apartments. There was only room enough for one or two people, so you were lucky it was deserted when you entered.

Surveying the counter, you found the usual party staples. A bowl of red punch, a bunch of beer and various liquor bottles with chasers. Skipping over the communal punch bowl, you reached for a bottle of diet coke and coconut rum.

“Oh,” a voice said as they entered the kitchen. “Sorry – I didn’t know you were in here.”

Glancing up, you saw Jimin and froze.

He’d dyed his hair black – that was the first thing you noticed. Jimin’s hair was no longer blonde, but completely dark. His outfit confused you at first – a frilly, white blouse with slicked-back hair and dark trousers – until you saw his bright red contacts and the dribble of blood at his mouth.

“A vampire,” you said, finally recovering your voice. Scanning his body, you frowned. “Where are the teeth, though?”

Jimin blinked, his gaze jerking up from your waist.

“Huh?” he said, sounding a bit strangled.

Cheeks heating a little – your dress was pretty short – you repeated yourself. “The teeth,” you said, pointing at your own lips. “Don’t vampires have fangs?”

“Oh, right.” Jimin dug around in his pocket – fuck, were his trousers tight – to produce twin fangs. “I took them off when I got here. They’re really hard to talk in.”

“Go on then, Park,” you said with a grin. “Put them in.”

“One second.” Twisting to face the wall, Jimin popped them in his mouth. Turning around, he bared his teeth. “Sexy?”

With the teeth in though, the word came out more like shex-shie and you burst into laughter. “So sexy,” you agreed, reaching past him for a cup.

Jimin stiffened when your arm brushed his front. Unbidden, you thought about what Noelle had said – Jimin had been flirting with you. Pulling away, you resumed making your drinks and tried not to look in his direction.

Even so, you remained aware of his presence. Jimin inched his way behind you, reaching for the whiskey on the other side. His arm brushed your elbow as he went, right knee nudging yours in an intimate gesture.

Glancing up from the counter, you accidentally caught his gaze. Despite your earlier joking, he did look sexy. Devastatingly so. Even the blood-red contacts weren’t enough to deter the shiver which ran down your spine.

Shaking yourself free from your trance, you grabbed both cups and pulled back.

“So, what’re you drinking?” you asked.

You decided it was best to steer the conversation away from how sexy Park Jimin was or was not.

Seemingly oblivious to your inner turmoil, Jimin poured whiskey into his cup. “Whiskey and coke. Can you pass me that bottle?”

“Sure,” you said, leaping at the chance to prevent him from walking past you again. “Here you go.”

Pushing this forward, you watched Jimin pour both drinks all the way to the brim. He paused near the end, staring into the depths before he looked up. He seemed to be warring with something, debating whether or not to speak whatever was on his mind.

“So…” He paused. “Do you know Jungkook, or something?”

You blinked. “Jungkook…?”

“You know, Miss Luna’s assistant. Jeon Jungkook.”

“Oh! Jungkook. No, I don’t really know him.”

“You were talking to him at the end of class, though?”

Hearing the curiosity in his voice, both your brows raised. “And?”

“And nothing,” Jimin said, sounding uncomfortable. “I just… I didn’t know you knew him, that’s all.”

“I mean, I don’t.” You paused. “But even if I did, what does it matter?”

“It doesn’t.” His cheeks began to redden. “It’s just – ah, never mind. We don’t have that great a history, that’s all. He’s kind of the reason I’m at Russet this year.”

You stared at Jimin a moment. “Wow, what a tragedy,” you said, stifling a laugh. “To have been forced to attend one of the most prestigious dance institutions in the world.”

His upper lip twitched. “It’s not that. I was deciding between attending Russet and accepting a job offer out west. I was asked to join this pop star on tour… anyways, Jungkook’s never liked me much. It’s a long story.” Jimin’s brow furrowed. “My offer was rescinded at the last minute. The artist never said why, but I always got the feeling he had something to do with it.”

You stared at Jimin a moment, unsure how to respond. Jungkook hadn’t seemed like that kind of person, but you supposed you’d only talked to him for a few minutes. If that was true, what happened to Jimin sucked and yet, the next words from your mouth nearly had you face-palming.

“And here I thought I was your biggest rival, Park,” you said.

Jimin’s eyes widened. “Are you… jealous, Y/N?”

He sounded almost pleased by the notion, which sent a different kind of shiver down your spine.

“Not at all,” you said quickly, turning back to your drinks.

Jimin made a soft tsk-ing sound, as though he didn’t believe you.

“That sucks,” you continued, determined to change the subject. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“Yeah. Maybe it was all for the best, though. Things happen for a reason, right?”

Looking up, you caught Jimin’s stare. He didn’t look immediately away and you got the oddest sensation he meant more than what he said. Hastily, you pushed this feeling aside, clutching your drinks as you entered the main room. Jimin followed close behind, two cups in his hands.

“When did you get here?” you asked. “Been here long?”

Jimin shook his head. “Nah. Hoseok and I got here like, ten minutes ago. He should be around here somewhere, he –”

“Y/N!”

You looked up just in time to see Hoseok, Jimin’s roommate, barreling towards you.

“It’s been so long!” Crushing you to his chest, Hoseok wrapped you in a hug. “Hope Jimin isn’t boring you to death,” he stage-whispered before he pulled away.

“Just for that.” Jimin arched a brow. “Both these drinks are for me.”

“No – wait, wait. I’m sorry!” Hoseok pouted. “Hand over the drink, Park. It’s been the longest fucking week.”

Jimin grinned and relented, handing Hoseok his cup as you laughed. Hoseok was a newer friend, but he was close to Jimin, so he’d gradually bled into your latest gatherings. Despite not being on the ballet track, most of the dancers at Russet knew of him. Hoseok had that way about him.

Glancing down at your outfit, Hoseok held up a finger. “Let me guess – Blossom,” he said, turning to scan the room. “Which means… aha! Irene is Bubbles and Noelle is Buttercup. Makes sense.”

“And you are…” Pausing, you squinted at his outfit. “Someone at the spa?”

“Sure.” Hoseok shrugged. “Honestly, I just wanted to wear a bathrobe.”

Said bathrobe was paired with only boxers, the front of the robe open to display his toned abs. The costume didn’t surprise you, based on past interactions with Hoseok.

Casually, he twirled the robe tie in a circle. “Impressive, no?” Hoseok glanced away. “Whoa, wait – they have beer pong? See you all later!”

Hurrying off, he left you alone with Jimin. Shaking your head, you glanced in his direction and saw Jimin down his whole drink. Arching a brow, you were about to ask why when Irene called your names from across the room.

“Y/N!” She waved her hands. “Jimin! Get over here, you two – we need more for flip cup!”

You found yourself pulled in this direction despite your insistence you didn’t do well under pressure. Jimin ended up at the other end of the table and you lost sight of him when you started to play, paired with Jasmine for a partner.

By the end of the first round, you discovered you weren’t as horrible a player as you’d imagined. Then someone suggested mixed drinks for the second round, and things became fuzzier. There were more people present than just current students of Russet. One of Paulo’s roommates knew Seokjin, so you saw him in the room, along with Sana.

You chatted with both over the course of the evening, in addition to a guy who’d recently debuted on Broadway, Kim Taehyung. Apparently, there was already buzz around him for a Tony. Taehyung was nice, but it was sometime during this conversation you realized how tipsy you were. Apparently, not drinking for several months and then going ham made for very low tolerance.

Collapsing onto the couch, you joined Irene and Brian’s conversation. In the corner of your eye, you caught sight of Noelle – a terrible flip cup player, she’d roped Hoseok into giving her private lessons, but these seemed to be going terribly. Or perhaps very well, given how much the two of them were laughing.

You completely forgot about Jimin until you spotted him across the room talking to Sabrina. Seeing them together, you straightened. Both seemed fairly comfortable, which struck you as odd. Since that morning in Jimin’s dorm, you hadn’t really seen them hang out together.

Despite this, Jimin was laughing at something Sabrina had said. Tearing your gaze away, you forced yourself to focus on the conversation at hand. It didn’t matter who Jimin spoke to, or even who he decided to go home with tonight. He was your dance partner and friend, nothing more and besides – you had a boyfriend.

Blinking, you reached into your clutch and pulled out your phone. To your disappointment, you’d gotten no texts from Finn since this morning. You assumed he was still at his party but didn’t know for sure. Shooting him a text, hey, you waited for a response and when you got none, returned your phone to your purse.

Across the room, you heard Noelle yell your name. “Y/N!” She cupped her mouth with both hands. “We need another person for flip cup!”

Laughing, you pushed yourself from the couch and were immediately roped into your fourth game of the night. The night blurred again after that, turning into a pleasant hum of conversation and booze. At some point, Ubers were called to bring you to the club. As you rushed downstairs, you realized you forgot your coat as soon as you stepped outside.

Shivering violently, you rubbed your arms and cursed yourself for poor foresight.

“Y/N?” Jimin came to a stop alongside you. “Hey, where’s your coat?”

“Inside,” you said through chattering teeth. “I-it’s fine, though. I’m fine!”

Jimin gave you a look. “Where’s Paulo?” he said, glancing around. “I’ll grab him, we can get your coat before we go –”

“The Uber’s already here, though,” you argued, grabbing his sleeve to drag him towards the curb. “I’ll be fine from here to the club!”

Jimin sighed but gave in, following when you rushed to the grey SUV. Irene had claimed the front seat, so you and Jimin pulled open the middle door – Noelle and Hoseok were crowding behind you, so you and Jimin ended up together in the backseat.

Collapsed in a heap, you giggled as Jimin tried to squish himself in a corner. “Sorry,” he said, trying – and failing – to keep his knees separate.

“Jimin.” You snorted. “Are we going to go through this again? Your hands have been in way more inappropriate places than that this semester.”

Jimin’s lips parted, shocked, but you were already hoisting yourself over the middle seat. Draping your arms next to Noelle, you begged her to play your favorite song on the radio. Had you been more sober, you might’ve recognized your position to be precarious – perched on the edge of your seat, your ass hovered inches away from Jimin’s face.

Plopping back down, you glanced sideways at Jimin and found him frozen. Suddenly, you realized the visual he’d had.

“Um, so what happened to the teeth?” you blurted, determined to change the subject.

Jimin blinked and managed to meet your gaze. “Casualty of flip cup,” he said. “One of them fell out during the game and I couldn’t find where it rolled.”

“Well, that’s okay. You can just be one of those vampires who blend in with normal humans. You know, the kind whose fangs only come out when they want to bite someone.”

“That’s true.” Jimin arched a brow. “Lucky for you, I’m not hungry.”

“Lucky for me? Lucky for you,” you retorted. “My blood is about half alcohol right now. If you drank my blood, you’d be a very silly vampire.”

The idea of a silly vampire made you laugh – even more so when you pictured said vampire as Jimin. He seemed much too coherent for your liking right now.

“A silly vampire, huh?” Jimin looked on, amused. “Damn, Y/N – when was the last time you went out? Your tolerance is shit.”

“I know,” you sighed. “I haven’t drunk much this semester. Too much dance, too little time. I think the last time I went out was –”

“We’re here!” squealed Noelle, throwing open the door.

A blast of cold air hit you and you shivered, wishing you’d worn your coat. Jimin’s gaze remained steady on yours.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he said lowly. “I can give you, uh…”

“Your shirt?” you said dryly, lifting a brow as you brushed past. “Then you’d be shirtless, Park. Let’s think this through.”

Jimin chuckled before he followed suit, although you cursed as soon as you left the car. He was correct. It was freezing, even with your alcohol-induced blanket.

“Come on!” you yelped, following Noelle towards the entrance.

Bypassing the line, Noelle walked straight towards the bouncer and showed him her phone. He nodded and waved her past, counting your friend group who followed. Not everyone from Paulo’s place had gone to the club, but enough for you to make quite the entrance.

“Y/N!” Noelle doubled back to link arms with you. “Come on – this way! That guy’s going to show us to our table.”

“Table?” you asked her, wide-eyed.

Tables in a club on Halloween night were ridiculously expensive, but it seemed Noelle had downplayed her brother’s connections. Your group was led right to the front of the upper balcony, getting a coveted spot overlooking the dance floor below.

This was undeniably the coolest club you’d been in. Not that you’d been in many, mind you, but this one had to take the cake. A half-circle of tables took up the top floor, with twin staircases descending to the main room below. Most of the lower floor was for dancing, although you saw additional tables pushed to the sides. Fluorescent bars and dance platforms were dotted throughout and above all was the DJ booth, blasting the latest songs.

“Whoa,” you breathed.

Noelle grinned, squeezing your arm to pull you into the booth. As soon as you settled in, Jasmine leapt up and clapped her hands.

“I want to be in one of those!” she said, pointing to a glowing cage at the center of the dance floor.

“Oo, me too!” Irene leapt up to join her.

“Me, three!” said Paulo, clambering out of the booth.

“Awesome.” Irene beamed and glanced your way. “What about you, Y/N? You in?”

The idea was tempting for a moment, but then Finn flashed through your mind. You highly doubted he’d be on board with you gyrating for a room full of strangers without him. Somewhat dejectedly, you plopped back on the bench.

“That’s okay,” you sighed. “I think I’m going to stay here for a while. I’ll join you later!”

Irene frowned but nodded, following the rest when they left for the stairs. About half the group went, clearing out the table while you stared at the dance floor.

Jimin slid into the bench alongside you. “You don’t want to dance?”

Startled, you glanced in his direction. While you watched, Jimin began to undo his cuffs, casually rolling the sleeves of his shirt. His hair, which had been slicked back at the start of the night, was starting to fall. Several dark strands hung over his forehead, although this only seemed to make the look more appealing.

“No,” you said, crossing your legs. “I just… don’t really feel like it.”

“Is this the whole hating clubs thing again?”

“Kind of.” You laughed. “I don’t know. Club dancing isn’t like normal dancing, you know?”

“It is when you’re at the club with all dancers,” Jimin pointed out, nodding towards the floor.

Following his gaze, you saw Jasmine dancing full-out in a lit-up cage. She wasn’t so much gyrating as she was creating choreography on the fly. The mere mortals around her looked on in awe. Fighting a smile, you returned to Jimin.

“Okay, that does look like fun,” you admitted. “The last time I was at a club was with Finn.”

Jimin blinked. “Sorry – what?”

“In the cab,” you said, leaning closer in order to be heard. “You asked me when I last went out. It was that night… um, the night you came and picked me up.”

Jimin stared at you a moment, as though contemplating something important. Abruptly, he stood and held out a hand. You blinked at this like he’d offered a football.

“What are you doing?” you said, glancing up.

“Taking you down to the dance floor.” Jimin retracted said hand. “Come on, Y/N! You don’t have to give out dry lap dances, or whatever.”

“Hey!” In disbelief, your mouth fell open. “You said you’d forget all about that!”

His smile turned impish. “Seriously, we can just do the sprinkler, or something. It’ll be fun!”

“The sprinkler?” Starting to laugh, you stood. “Was that really the first move you thought of?”

“Nah. My go-to move is the criss-cross, but I figured this was more your speed.”

Snorting, you shoved him in the arm before following Jimin to the dance floor. It didn’t take you long to spot your other friends, clustered near the front and around the DJ booth.

“Y/N!” Noelle cheered, breaking off from the pack. “You made it!”

She nearly spilled her drink while she danced, catching herself just in time as she spun around. You grinned, entering the circle with Jimin by your side. He did, in fact, pull out the criss-cross – Hoseok joined in and soon, there was a Fortnite dance battle between them. You truly haven’t lived until you’ve seen a TikTok dance-off between two semi-professional dancers.

This ended with both declaring mutual defeat, and Hoseok disappearing to buy the next round. Noelle shimmied her way over to Jasmine, accepting the hand given to stand on the platform.

You laughed at their ridiculous dance moves, choosing instead to stay on the ground. The crowd around you had thinned since you’d joined. Eamon disappeared a few minutes later, saying something about needing a drink upstairs. Before long, Irene had joined Jasmine and Noelle on the platform, leaving you alone with Jimin on the floor.

Under other circumstances, you might have felt uncomfortable, but Jimin was so good at putting you at ease. Determined to keep you in the present, he came up with more and more complicated dance moves which had you snorting with laughter.

On a particularly flamboyant spin, Jimin accidentally smacked the drink from someone’s grasp. Blue vodka splattered everywhere, drenching its owner – a burly man in leather who snarled in frustration.

Looking up, he met your gaze and his eyes narrowed.

“Shit. Run!” you blurted out.

Grabbing Jimin by the arm, you dragged him into the crowd.

“No, wait – let me apologize!” Jimin tried to twist around. “I can pay for his drink! I can –”

Once there was suitable distance between you and the guy, you came to a stop. Laughing so hard you nearly fell over, you turned sideways to face him.

Bodies pressed against you from every side but rather than feel claustrophobic, all you could think about was Jimin before you. His hair had become thoroughly mussed during the night and you fought the sudden desire to smooth it down.

Although your breath came hard, the club around you seemed to slow. The music somehow had narrowed to pinpricks, a heady thump of bass while everything dulled.

What you should’ve done was taken a step back – but you didn’t.

Instead, your gaze drifted across his face. Jimin stared back, something intense to his gaze you couldn’t quite name. Breath caught in your throat, his eyes dropped to your lips.

Before you could react, someone bumped into you from behind, sending you careening forward. Jimin caught you easily, one arm around your waist and your chest pressed to his. You could feel every hard line of his body, his thigh wedged between your legs while you grasped at his arms. Heart thudding traitorously against your ribcage, you tried to ignore the emotions which followed.

It was impossible.

The song playing was slower, sexier than the one which had inspired the dance-off. Without meaning to, your weight subtly shifted. This caused your hips to move against his as Jimin quietly sucked in a breath. The effect this had on him was instantaneous. His grip on you tightened, gaze heady with desire and something more. Before you could second-guess what you were doing, you moved your hips again – this time, on purpose.

Jimin’s eyes darkened. Without looking away, his grip on you tightened as he slowly dragged you up his thigh. Suddenly breathless, your hands gripped him tighter while your eyes fluttered shut. The heat of his body on yours, the faint smell of cologne and sweat, the tension in his limbs and the knowledge of what he could do to you – it all left your head spinning.

“Y/N,” Jimin murmured, low in your ear.

You weren’t used to him saying your name like that.

You were used to him saying your name in every other way, but not that. Sharp with dancer’s critique, brusque with instruction, light with teasing – but not like something heavy was lodged in his throat. Maybe his heart.

Panicked, your eyes flew open.

What were you doing? This wasn’t some random stranger and this sure as hell wasn’t your boyfriend. This was Jimin. Stumbling backwards, you broke from his hold. Jimin seemed equally stunned, staring at you on the dance floor.

“I have to go,” you blurted and whirled around.

Shoving into the crowd, you heard Jimin emit a soft groan. Despite this, he didn’t immediately pursue, for which you were grateful. Stumbling through strangers, strobe lights flashed brightly overhead. You squeezed between someone dressed as a go-go and another person dressed as a werewolf. Skidding to a stop on the edge of the floor, you scanned the room and saw no one from Russet.

When you glanced over your shoulder, you saw Jimin now followed. Panicking again, you began to move. Beside one of the bars, you spotted a hallway labeled restrooms. Heading in this direction, you quickly disappeared inside the door marked women.

Once inside, you locked yourself in a stall, lowered the lid and sat down. Head in hands, you slowly exhaled. You were a coward; that much was clear. Jimin was probably out there looking for you right now, but you’d rather hide in a bathroom than face him.

The fluorescent lighting overhead was too bright – it made you feel overexposed. After a long moment, you fished around in your purse and pulled out your phone. Flipping to your thread with Finn, you saw he’d sent no response since your text. Complete and utter silence.

Heart cracking a little, you slid this in your bag and stared at the door. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. When you imagined you and Finn at college, you’d always pictured you together, attending the same parties and sharing the same adventures. Tonight though, had proven to be anything but that. Finn hadn’t once glanced at his phone judging by the unread mark next to your text.

Dimly, you wondered why you weren’t more upset about this. It should bother you that Finn hadn’t called or even texted throughout the day. Sure, he was out with friends, but so were you and you’d reached out – as soon as you thought this, your heart sank.

You weren’t sure you could call Jimin a friend after what had just happened.

Sure, you’d only danced, and it had only been for a second but still, guilt bloomed behind your ribcage. The idea of Finn doing the same thing with anyone else made your heart twist. You wouldn’t feel that way if what you’d done wasn’t wrong.

Groaning out loud, you lowered your head to your hands. After several minutes, you felt calm enough to stand and pretend-flush the toilet. As you exited the stall, you walked to the sink and began washing your hands. Staring at yourself in the mirror, a million things ran through your mind.

Clearly, the situation with Jimin was worse than you’d thought. The spark you’d felt kept returning, no matter how much you tried to ignore it. Maybe the only solution was to find a new partner. The very idea made your heart sink, but you couldn’t deny things had gotten out of hand.

Before you could seriously consider the option, the door to the bathroom flung open and banged against the wall. Sabrina stormed in, wiping both eyes with the heel of her hand. You froze, staring at her in the mirror but she didn’t seem to notice your presence.

When she finally lowered her hands and took a deep breath, she saw you and froze.

For a moment, you both only stared at each other and then – you coughed. Awkwardly, you began to dry your hands.

“Are you okay?” you asked, tentative.

Sabrina stiffened. “I’m fine,” she muttered, walking to the sink.

You watched her wash her hands, struggling and failing to control her expression. Sabrina’s hair was a mess and you stared, wondering where she’d been. You hadn’t seen her since you’d entered the club, but had assumed she’d stayed on the second floor.

“Are you sure?” you pressed, remembering your night at the other club. “You know, you can –”

“Will you… just stop.” Sabrina closed her eyes. “Will you … stop pretending like we’re friends, or something?”

Struck with disbelief, you could only stare. “I… are you serious?”

“Yes.”

“Wow.” You shook your head. “Just wow.”

Her lips tightened and finally, she whirled around. “What?” Sabrina demanded. “What is it?”

The look in her eyes was familiar. Her frustrated, angry look was mirrored in your expression, but you found you didn’t care. Sabrina was clearly going through something, but her rudeness to you was the final straw. Tired from Finn, Jimin and the constant pressure you were both under, something about Sabrina’s words made you break.

“Why are you always such a… such a bitch,” you blurted, hurling the word like a knife. “What did I ever do to you? Why do you always act like you hate me so much?”

Sabrina’s upper lip curled. “Why do you always think this is about you, Y/N? Maybe I just wanted one second of peace and instead, here you are. Like always.”

“Here I am, in the public restroom of a club we’re all at?”

“No. Here you are in my life,” she snapped, pushing herself from the sink. “People won’t talk to me? It’s because you’ve run your mouth about things you think I’ve done. I’m falling in the class ranks? It’s because you’re after my spot. Jimin doesn’t want to be my partner? It’s because of his feelings for you. I’m sick of turning around and always seeing you there!”

“Okay, but none of those things – I, Jimin doesn’t have feelings for me,” you sputtered.

Sabrina gave you a look. “Oh, please, Y/N.” Her laughter was harsh. “Why else would he turn me down?”

“Um, maybe because he’s a decent human being? Unlike yourself.”

“Great, yeah.” Sabrina glared. “Make me the bad guy again.”

“I’m not the one doing that,” you huffed. “You are. You want to blame me because no one wants to be your friend? Maybe try reaching out first. Maybe don’t talk shit about people behind their backs. And I’m improving because I’m taking extra lessons. No thanks to you, of course.”

“Don’t try and make me feel bad because I didn’t have time to give you lessons.”

“I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I’m trying to explain why I’m improving and you’re not.”

Sabrina bristled. “Are you saying I don’t work hard, too?”

“No.” Mirthless, you laughed. “I know you work hard – maybe even as hard as I do. But you know what the big difference is between you and me?” you said, drawing yourself to your full height.

Sabrina’s eyes glimmered while she stared you down. Still, she retained her aloofness when she said, “What? What’s the big secret?”

“You think everyone’s out to get you,” you said, stepping closer. “You think not asking for help makes you stronger, but it’s the exact opposite. At least I’ve improved since the start of the year. What have you done?”

Not waiting for an answer, you pushed past Sabrina and walked out the door.

Shoving it wide, you entered the hallway. Dance music flooded your senses and you winced, remembering where you were and what you’d been doing. Luckily, Jimin was nowhere in sight. He must not have seen where you’d disappeared to.

Shoulders slumping, you pulled out your phone and dialed a number. Walking to the front, you concentrated on breathing while you waited for them to pick up. Coming to a stop beside coat check, you didn’t leave the club – a lesson you’d learned the hard way.

Noelle answered on the third ring. “Babe?” she yelled, barely audible over the din. “What’s going on? Where are you?”

“Are you…” Closing your eyes, you paused. “Can we leave?”

Noelle paused, then muffled her phone with one hand. “Irene!” you heard her yell. “You good to get a ride home for these people? Okay, cool. Bye!” Her phone became un-muffled. “Where are you, babe?”

After explaining your location, you hung up and hugged yourself with both arms. Noelle burst into view a few moments later, scanning the crowd like a mom on a mission. When she saw you, she rushed over – and you promptly burst into tears.

“Oh, no!” Pulling you into a hug, Noelle began to rub your back. “No, no, babe! Don’t cry! What’s going on? Do I need to kick someone’s ass?”

Hearing Jimin’s words said by Noelle only made you cry harder. Wisely sensing this to be a problem not easily solved, Noelle continued rubbing your back while walking towards the exit.

The two of you went outside and, as luck would have it, saw a group of people arriving at the club. Noelle snagged their taxi, helping you in the backseat and giving the driver your address. As you settled against her, your head on her shoulder, Noelle kept rubbing your arm and waited for the tears to stop.

You weren’t really sure why you were crying.

Of course, Sabrina was terrible, as was the situation with Jimin, but it was more than that. Dancing with Jimin hadn’t caused problems in your relationship with Finn. There had been problems in your relationship Finn and so, feelings had crept in which led you to dance with Jimin.

More than that though, you couldn’t help but notice Noelle had come to your aid much faster than Finn ever had. Even Jimin had dropped everything when you asked, and he was someone you’d once called your enemy. Noelle had been having fun, but she’d cut her night short because you were upset. This knowledge crushed you and for the very first time, you realized your relationship with Finn might be unfixable.

Curled up on the backseat, you let yourself cry a bit more. You could be calm and rational in the morning, you decided but for now, you just felt defeated.

When you finally climbed into bed at your dorm at night, you looked at your phone and saw Finn still hadn’t texted.

Author’s Note: Thank you for reading! 😊 New chapters of Raise the Barre are posted weekly; dates are listed on the series Master List. Requests for updates will be deleted.

RAISE THE BARRE MASTERLIST

#bangtanarmynet #btsbookclub #jimin fanfic #bts fanfic #jimin au #bts au #jimin writing #bts writing #jimin series #jimin e2l #bts series #bts e2l #jimin dance au #bts dance au

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redhead-batgal · 3 years

Note

Hi 😁 Could I request either (31.} “Good morning gorgeous,” “Fuck off I’m trying to sleep.” 8.} “Why do you have to be so cute?” “Why do you have to be so hot?” 27.} “I love every damned piece of you no matter what anyone else says.”) Or ( 21.} “If anything happened to you, it would utterly ruin me.” & 1.} “I honestly don’t think there’s anyone I ever loved as much as I love you.”) with Dick Grayson?

Type: Two-Shot

Pairing: Fem! and Librarian! Reader x Dick Grayson/Nightwing

Part One: Here

Prompts: ☙1: “I honestly don’t think there’s anyone I ever loved as much as I love you.” ☙8: “Why do you have to be so cute?” “Why do you have to be so hot?”☙21:“If anything happened to you, it would utterly ruin me.” ☙27: “I love every damned piece of you no matter what anyone else says.” ☙31:“Good morning gorgeous,” “Fuck off I’m trying to sleep.”

Content: Cursing, mentions of abuse, implied sickness, a minor curses, depressive thoughts (the negative Nancy’s may suck y’all but they bring in the fluffiest fluff), flashbacks, little bit of angst, FLUFFY so freaking fluffy, heavily reader x Nightwing, good luck 😂

Word Count ([Mama Mia] Here we go again!): 10,108 words

(P.S. I saw these prompts and thought hmm what could I do and the idea for a part two popped in my head. Hope you guys enjoy it!)

(P.P.S So I’ve recently decided that I’m gonna do OC stuff so like two of my OC’s with stories are going to make an appearance. Let me know what you guys think of them. 😉)

(P.P.P.S I’m putting an author’s note at the end so if ya wanna read it it’ll be there. And don’t worry I won’t count the author’s note in the words count.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The unexpected tends to hit you when you don’t expect it, obviously, however sometimes the unexpected hits you literally at the worst times. Things from your past can come back to punch you in the gut, things you had forgotten about can return and bring a host of memories with them, good or bad.

The unexpected can cause revelations to come to you, for you to realize things you should have thought of, things you should have seen before. It can cause you to realize certain feelings and certain people are more important than you ever thought.

The unexpected can be kind, but it can also be ruthless. It can give you new relationships but it can also cause you to remember things better left forgotten. Things like past relationships and mistakes you wish you never made.

The unexpected is... well unexpected.

It hadn’t even been a full twenty-four hours since Dick Grayson asked you out when literally everything went to shit.

It had all started when you began to receive texts from old friends telling you to lay low. They were very vague and it made your stomach shift due to nervousness. There was a number of reasons why they could have texted you, they could have been joking, they could have been referring to anything really.

The longer you thought about it the worse your stomach swirled. So when you got a call telling you to come to a meeting with a detective right after your shift at the police station you felt like you were going to puke. The more time that passed the worse you felt however right before you left you ran into Mira.

“Hi, Y/N.” She said with a bright smile, “Are you excited for your date later today?”

She wiggled her eyebrows at you and you gave her a nervous smile. She hadn’t meant to, but you were even more nervous now then before. Nodding you let out a sigh trying your hardest to push the nerves swirling in your stomach back.

“Yeah, yeah I am...” You paused for a moment noting how her hair was much shorter than before.

She noticed your look of surprise and grinned in almost a wicked kind of way, her hazel eyes glittering.

“I got my hair cut and now I feel like a woodland pixie!”

You laughed and Mira raised a hand to the end of her hair fiddling with it before shifting slightly as if something was bothering her. And it was then that it occurred to you, you hadn’t asked her how things with Jason were going.

“So,” You began, feeling a mischievous smile working its way onto your face, “how are things going with Jason?”

Mira’s let go of her hair and shrugged a look of almost disinterest on her face. She leaned against the wall before looking over her shoulder and sighing.

“Well for one, after hanging out with him I’m like ninety percent sure we’re just better as friends.”

You nodded in understanding, it was common for that to happen and it pained you to see how many times people had told you or Mira to just go for the relationship just because it would give you experience.

“I get that-” Before you could finish however she continued.

“And there’s this girl...”

Girl, there’s a girl? You couldn’t believe it! Not because Mira didn’t seem like the type but because she didn’t really get out enough to meet people.

“Ooo really? Where did you meet?”

A blush appeared on Mira’s face and she straightened out before the blush darkened and she averted your gaze.

“She’s new to my apartment complex.”

You smiled widely trying not to giggle in excitement. Mira had been rambling to you for months about wanting a relationship even if it was just a fling, she wanted love and was angry at the gods she believed in for not sending any her way.

“Ooo, very cool. I hope things work out better than with Jason.”

Mira’s blush dimmed slightly and she got a frustrated look on her face before she pushed away from the wall and the two of you began to walk again. Tucking her much shorter hair behind her ear she bit her lip before giving you a look.

“I think that it wouldn’t have matter if we were just better as friends or if Rosemary was in the picture-”

You couldn’t help yourself, “Rosemary? Is that her name?”

Mira’s blush returned to her face making it red as she waved a hand at you almost as if to stop you from asking questions about her possible crush. You moved out of the way of her hands and you realized you hadn’t been thinking about your nerves. And the second you thought of them they came crashing back down on you.

“I’ll tell you everything later I promise!” Mira remarks with a sigh, “Anyways, I’m pretty sure Jason has a thing for someone else.”

You froze for a moment blinking a few times in surprise, looking at Mira you raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Really? I could have sworn he liked you.”

She shrugs before crossing her arms, tilting her head she gives you a look before smiling slightly.

“I’m a psychology major at Gotham U Y/N. I noticed somethings and I don’t know I’m pretty sure he likes someone else... and in case you were worried it isn’t you.”

You blinked a few times processing her words, Jason like you? Have a thing for you? Of course that couldn’t be true. Why would Mira think that you might think Jason might like you? He was like your brother!

Mira laughed and you realized all your emotions were crossing your face in that moment. Blinking again you furrowed your brow in confusion. Shaking your head you couldn’t quite grasp the idea of Jason liking someone else.

“I just thought he liked you.”

“He likes the parts of me that remind him of this other girl. I mean like... we sorta talked about it, so it’s more as I know he likes someone else.”

You gave her an exasperated look and Mira laughed nervously before taking a step back. She waved her hands smiling somewhat before saying,

“Listen I don’t know who, and he didn’t outright say it, but he might as well have. He said there’s this one girl he doesn’t think he’ll ever get over. Something about them being childhood friends and thinking she was dead.”

Shaking your head you sighed, you hadn’t heard anything about this then again you and Jason both agreed to not talk about your pasts. Even thinking of it now makes you feel sick. Swallowing you pushed away the memories as Mira gave you a concerned look.

“You okay Y/N? You got a little pale just now...”

Mira trailed off and you nodded brushing off her concern. Pulling your phone out of your pocket you noted the time and how you were supposed to be meeting the detective soon. Shoving it back into your pocket you hurried to say goodbye to Mira, you really didn’t want to be late to this meeting.

“I’m fine. I promise, I’ve just got a meeting with some cop soon-”

“Do you think it’s about Daniel?”

You flinched at the sound of his name. Closing your eyes you took in a breath. You could think about him now... well briefly think about him, without feeling scared or panicking. However now that Mira said it, it made a whole lot more sense. All your friends telling you to lay low and the meeting with the detective.

The room seemed to spin a bit and you felt hands on your arms.

“Woah, woah Y/N. It could just be Dick wanting to meet with you about your date, you said he doesn’t have your number right?” Mira remarked, scrambling to get you back to your senses.

You pressed a hand to your head and nodded even though you felt like you were going to puke. Mira began guiding you towards the door with a very concerned look on her face.

“How about I drive you there? I don’t like the idea of you being alone right now.”

You must have nodded because the next thing you knew you were in the passenger seat of Mira’s car as the world seemed to go in slow motion. Things passed by your eyes but for some reason the only thing your brain could focus on was the fact that Daniel was more than likely back.

Your throat felt tight and you tried to breathe but it got harder the longer you tried. Biting your lip, you forced air through your lungs. There was a faint sound in the background almost like a humming as you heard Daniel’s voice yelling at you. Dozens of phrases all at once, insults, accusations, anger in general. You felt your heart beat pick up when suddenly your lip felt warm and a sharp pain went through it.

Blinking back into reality you realized that Mira had been talking to you and that you were pulling up to the station. The car stopped and Mira turned towards you, her eyes going wide automatically.

“Y/n you’re bleeding. Did you bust your lip or something?”

Raising a hand to your face you pressed a finger to your mouth only to pull it away and find red. For a moment you weren’t in the passenger seat of Mira’s car but on the floor of that apartment. With him looming over you. Your breath caught and Mira was shaking you back into reality.

“Y/n? Y/n are you okay?”

You nodded somewhat slowly before opening the door. Looking up you shot Mira a weak smile as worries about all the trouble you were causing her hit you like a train.

“Yeah, sorry I’m fine. Thanks for taking me here... I’ll get a ride back to the library... you should go home.”

“Y/n-” Mira began when you cut her off by climbing out of the car.

“I’ll be okay Mira. I promise.”

Mira sighed and you turned back towards her. She nodded and you closed the door waving goodbye as she drove off. Turning back to the station you let out a sigh and straightened your posture before walking in.

Inside a woman at a desk directed you to a Detective Brooklyn’s desk. Something about that name tickled the back of your mind but you pushed it back and walked towards where she directed before stopping in front of a woman’s desk. She looked to be a year or two younger than you and tired. She had a phone in her hands and you could faintly hear a little girl’s voice on the other end.

“No Flori you cannot give Ace frosting. I don’t care if he really wants it... What do you mean Ria’s climbing on top of the cabinets? Flori I swear if you don’t- ... Tim, if you don’t get Alfred in there soon I’m going to- Hi Steph, yes it is so good to talk to you but can you please.... ugh. Duke hi... oh Alfred is handling everything? That’s fantastic. Could you please tell him thank you for me? Awesome!” Her dark red-brown hair was pulled into a tight bun and she looked up to you, her deep brown eyes lined with exhaustion.

However upon seeing you her eyes flickered for a moment before she held up a finger. Motioning for you to sit down. She nodded her mouth slightly open as if she wanted to say something to the other person on the line.

“Yeah, yeah I know Ria. Frosting tastes really good. I hav- Hello Damian. I would love to come over and play with Titus, Ace, Ria, Flori and you but I’m at work right now- sorry your right I didn’t mean play, I meant I was going to help you guys exercise Titus and Ace... no we are not keeping William Snakespeare Ria, I don’t care that you named him- I have to go okay? I will handle this later. Yes I mean later, I have work to do- Hi. Yeah I’m still at the station. No, I’m meeting with her right now. Yes please. Thank you so much Babs. You are a lifesaver! Bye.”

Placing the phone on the receiver she sighed before looking at you. She smiled slightly almost weakly before she pulled a file off of her desk and opened it.

“Hello Miss L/N. I’m Edelynne Brooklyn. Most people around here and in general call me Eddie.”

You blinked twice as an image of the past hit you hard.

You and your friend Elysa were sitting on the chairs at the station. You didn’t want to be there, your stomach churred at the thought, but Elysa had insisted saying how your relationship with Daniel had gotten too far. That he had taken it too far. You couldn’t fully see out of the black eye, but you knew it was better than not seeing at all and really it was your fault, if you had just made the food he wanted it never would have happened.

“Hi, I’m Officer Brooklyn.”

You looked up and saw a girl no more than nineteen with hair just below her ears, she had a fresh scar on her neck and something in her eyes reminded you of yourself.

You had blinked and she had given you a look before offering you a smile of sorts. Gesturing with her head she began walking towards the dozens of desks.

“This way please.”

You stood up, not fully understanding why and Elysa gave you a look of surprise but followed after you and Officer Brooklyn. She stopped in front of a desk and gestured to a seat. You sat down not even looking at who was in front of you.

“Eddie what is this about-”

Something about that voice was familiar to you and you looked up, however instead of seeing someone familiar you saw a dark haired man with bright blue eyes in a uniform.

The man in front of you blinked twice before holding out his hand and you flinched almost instinctively. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Eddie flinch as well.

“I’m Detective Richard Grayson, it’s nice to meet you...?”

“I’m Elysa Aidenson. And I’m here because my friend needs help.” Elysa said instantly.

You shook your head in protest however Elysa ignored you. Detective Grayson did not, he instead looked at you and you felt like shrinking down in your chair. If Daniel knew you were here he’d kill you. Not only were you going to talk to the police, forced or not, about personal matters, you were without him in front of another man.

“Why do you need help?”

“I don’t-” You began when Elysa scoffed.

You sighed in almost frustration before remarking, “I don’t need help. He just got a little mad! He said it won’t happen again besides it’s more my fault then anything....”

Detective Grayson gave you a look almost as if what you said pained him and Officer Brooklyn had a strange look on her face almost as if what she was hearing was familiar. Detective Grayson leaned forward to say something but Officer Brooklyn stopped him before he could.

“What’s your name?” She asked, her voice soft.

You looked at her and you didn’t see pity in her eyes but understanding, a recognition of some sort. You swallowed and looked at her for a moment more before turning back to Detective Grayson.

“I’m Y/N. Y/n L/N.”

You blinked back into reality and found Detective Brooklyn writing something down in the file. Shaking your head slightly you blinked again.

“You know,” Detective Brooklyn began not looking up from the file, “every time I see you come in here, you’re injured.”

She looked up slowly from the file, a strange look on her face, almost worried.

“Though last time it was much worse.”

You nodded somewhat slowly before clearing your throat. You had to figure out why you were here before the memories overcame you and you had a panic attack.

“Why am I here again Detective?”

Detective Brooklyn tilted her head before raising an eyebrow at you, “You already know Y/n. He’s back. And he wants you.”

The air caught in your throat and you choked out a breath staring at her in disbelief.

“You didn’t even try to sugar coat it!” Was the only thing you could find yourself saying.

Detective Brooklyn sighed, setting the file down before she shrugged, “Seemed to me that it wouldn’t help since you had already guessed. It’s why your lip is busted. You were biting your lip, I assume, and bit too hard... I would know. It’s happened to me before.”

Something about her words seemed to have a double meaning and you stared at her nose, it was a bit longer and a tad bigger then you remembered but it had been almost three years.

“I just wanted to let you know because I’m going to be assigning you a protection detail starting tomorrow. Daniel Natalonie is one of the biggest players in the Gotham Underworld these days. Well him and Caleb Brooklyn.”

She said the words as if she hadn’t just revealed something astronomical about herself. And that Daniel.. well he had gotten what he always wanted, power. You swallowed and Detective Brooklyn sighed.

“Yes, Caleb Brooklyn is my father. No, I have no contact with him. However I do know that Daniel has a price on your head... well sort of. He is willing to pay big bucks to anyone that brings him you.”

You flinched and then watched her clench her fist regret flashing in her eyes before she shrugged and leaned back in her chair.

“You have a choice here Y/N. You can have the protection detail... or well I have a few off the record friends who would be happy to help.”

You couldn’t help but think of Nightwing. In his black and blue suit smiling at you and your stomach flipped. Your memories were mixing, you knew because instead of seeing him sitting on your couch, he was on the fire escape smiling that same smile at you.

“But if you want you can just have the normal protection detail.”

You shifted in your seat and avoided her gaze. For a moment your eyes darted to her neck and the scar was still there. Isn’t wasn’t as fresh as it was almost three years ago, but it was still there.

“I-”You began not fully sure of what you wanted to say, “I’ll do whatever works easiest for you.”

Detective Brooklyn sighed slightly, shooting you a strange kind of smile. She then hesitated before holding up a hand and picking up the phone. She quickly punched in a number and held the receiver to her face.

“Hi, It’s Eddie. Yeah I was wondering what the word about the protective detail for Y/N L/N was? ... They what? Okay, No, no I can handle it. Yeah. Thanks bye.”

Rubbing her forehead she hung up the phone and gave you an apologetic look. Leaning back in her chair she opened her mouth to speak only to close it. Sighing once again she finally spoke.

“For some reason they decided you don’t need a protective detail. Some jackass who is probably in Natalonie’s pocket planted the idea in some upper management's heads that you’ll be fine on your own and it’s not our job to keep you safe from ‘non-existent ’ threats.”

You sank into your chair slightly giving her a nervous look when the phone suddenly rang. Detective Brooklyn picked it up running a hand across her forehead, as stray pieces of hair slipped out.

“Eddie Brooklyn- oh hi Bruce.... they WHAT?” Standing up suddenly she got an alarmed look on her face before her voice cracked as she said, “I am so sorry about that! Oh so the kitchen didn’t catch fire? Alfred caught it? Oh thank goodness... so no one’s hurt? They’re on their way right now? Alright well thank you so much for allowing them to spend the day there. It was a big help.”

She nodded, slowly sinking back into her chair and it was then that you realized Detective Brooklyn was talking about the Wayne family. Alfred, Bruce, Tim? Definitely the Wayne’s what confused you was who Ria and Flori were. Judging by the way she was acting you assumed it was Detective Brooklyn’s children. Though if they were playing with Damian they would have to be a bit older and unless she had kids at like fourteen that was highly unlikely.

“Of course, yes... he’s on his way? Okay. Thank you again.”

Hanging up the phone Detective Brooklyn stood up, yanking her coat on. You followed her to your feet and she grabbed a bag along with keys before moving away from her desk.

“My shift is just about over, so I’m about to head out. Come with me would you? I have a few more questions I want to ask.”

You followed Detective Brooklyn outside and just off to the side of the station was what looked like a fairly nice car. Two girls no more than eleven dashed from it towards you and Detective Brooklyn.

“EDDIE!” The girl with bright red hair squealed as she ran towards her.

Instead of smiling and moving towards the girl with the same excitement Detective Brooklyn gave the girl a reprimanding look. But it didn’t stop her from slamming into Detective Brooklyn, wrapping her into a hug.

“Ria!”

A girl with a more sandy red-blonde hair who looked almost exactly like the redhead stopped right next to Detective Brooklyn and the first girl.

Twins.

The word was at the front of your mind before you could stop it. The two girls looked at you; the redhead had bright green eyes and a wide smile. She pulled away from Detective Brooklyn and held out her hand.

“I’m Ria!”

“Ria!” The other one remarked pulling on her arm, her dark blue eyes clouded.

The redhead- Ria, looked to the other and smiled brighter. She grabbed onto her sister’s arm and pulled her forwards.

“Come on Flori! We need to be more friendly. This is the librarian I was telling you about.”

You blinked twice before realizing the little girl you have given a book to right before panicking and cursing at Dick the other day was none other than the girl in front of you.

The other girl, Flori, gave Ria a look of surprise and asked, “When did you have time to go to the library?”

“When you were playing with Steph. Cass told me where to go.”

Flori gave Ria a look of shock and Detective Brooklyn snorted. You took a step back for a moment. Something about the three of them made you want to smile, but it also made you want to get as far away as you possibly could. If Daniel was after you, he’d go through anyone... anyone to get to you. And you couldn’t put these girls in harm’s way.

Turning to leave you noted the dark sky and remembered that you had no way to get home. Closing your eyes you let out a sigh however before you could even take another step you heard the sound of feet hitting the ground. Opening your eyes you saw Nightwing standing in front of you.

However instead of his usual smile you found a concerned look on his face. He took a step forward looking at you almost as if he was checking you over for injuries.

“Hey Nightwing,” Detective Brooklyn remarked, capturing his attention.

The concern looked slipped away from his face and he quickly replaced it with a smile.

“Detective... girls.”

Ria laughed in what you could only call a maniacal way and Flori snorted. Smiling slightly you looked over to them and saw Ria looking between you and Nightwing a strange look on her face. Flori had a gleam in her eye and she and Ria shared a look before grinning in an evil kind of way. However before you could even think to question it Nightwing was asking you a question.

“Huh?” You asked since you didn’t hear him.

“Where do you think you are going?” He repeated, raising an eyebrow.

You give him a confused look. Fiddling with your fingers you looked at him and he looked you in the eyes. Your cheeks flushed and you took a step back as the feelings wrapped around your throat.

“A-hot-ment- I mena- mean. I mean, I’m going back to my apartment why?”

Nightwing raised an eyebrow at your comment before remarking, “Alone?”

You nodded and he sighed. Shaking his head he placed his hands on his hips and gave you an almost reprimanding look and you gave him a confused one.

“Uh, yeah. I don’t really go home any other way.” You replied feeling even more confused than before.

“With your psycho ex on the loose?”

You froze for a moment and you could swear you heard his footsteps. Swallowing you pushed the thought away and took a step back from Nightwing. A slightly surprised expression crossed his face and then he winced, dropping his arms.

Shifting slightly you shrugged not wanting to meet his gaze. Rubbing on your arm you sighed trying your hardest to pick up the courage to look him in the eyes. However the thoughts hit you so hard you had to choke back tears.

Now look what you’ve done, you’ve upset him. Maybe it’s a good thing that Daniel’s back, maybe it’s a good thing he wants you again. After all you deserved everything that happened to you

You sunk into yourself a bit, parts of you tried to tell yourself that the thoughts were wrong but you didn’t truly believe it. Why did you always have to go and fuck everything up.

“I’ll be okay.” You finally forced out.

Part of you wanted to assure Nightwing that it wouldn’t matter if you ended up dead because it would be for the best. However the thoughts weren’t through with you yet.

You’re just phishing for sympathy for him to tell you you’re wrong because you know he will

But really you weren’t you just wanted him to stop caring because you weren’t ever going to change. You were terrible. Horrible. Awful really.

“Hey, I know what you’re doing. Don’t do that. Don’t do it, don’t you dare!” Nightwing suddenly said.

Before you could even react he had your face in his hands and was looking you dead in the eye. Cupping your cheeks he leaned in slightly.

“You are amazing Y/N. Completely and totally incredible honestly. You don’t deserve a single damn thing that happened to you. You are one of the funniest, kindest and honest to god prettiest women I ever met. You radiate this kind of light I haven’t seen anyone else radiate. You make my darkest days bright so don’t you dare think you are anything less than spectacular.”

Your cheeks flushed and you gave him a surprised look as the feelings you’d been trying so hard to push back jumped straight into your throat and you had a violent urge to kiss him.

However, you knew better. Mainly because as soon as he saw your bright red cheeks Nightwing let you go, his cheeks flushing slightly. He cleared his throat and you held a hand to your chest as if to catch the heart that was about to beat out of it.

Of course you knew people cared about you but something as blunt as that... something so direct hit you hard. You swallowed again, your heart beating rapidly pushing all your nerves away.

“... If I can’t go home what am I going to do?”

Nightwing looked at you for a moment and you felt flustered. Your feelings were thrumming in your chest and lungs along with the beating of your heart. However instead of saying anything he just looked at you.

Someone cleared their throat loudly, and you looked to see a slightly smug looking Detective Brooklyn with the twins clinging to her sides. She raised an eyebrow at Nightwing, who then took a step away from you.

“Y/N can always crash with me if she wants... I mean if she doesn’t wanna have a sleepover with you, Blue.”

You froze for a moment and the thought of Nightwing staying over at your apartment, of you talking to him early into the next morning... of you sleepily confessing your feelings to him. Heat flushed your cheeks again and you shook your head.

“I uh,” You began causing both Nightwing and Detective Brooklyn to look at you, “I’ll stay with Detective Brooklyn tonight.... I mean for all we know Daniel’s waiting at my apartment to ambush me.”

You had stammered slightly but Nightwing nodded and a slight smile appeared on his face. The twins were looking at you, Ria’s green eyes were almost glowing and she blinked once then twice.

“Why are you so pretty miss?” She asked bluntly.

Your blush intensified and you scrambled to answer her as you watched her sister nod in agreement, as if she had the exact same question.

You wanted to reply but only gibberish came out. When the gibberish escaped you, Ria pointed a finger at you, her jaw dropping. Detective Brooklyn leaned forward and pushed Ria’s arm down. However a grin exploded onto Ria’s face and she began jumping up and down.

“The nice and pretty librarian does what I do!”

She squealed with delight and all the worry about embarrassing yourself slipped away from you. Ria turned towards Flori and stuck her tongue out at her before blowing a raspberry.

“I told you pretty people could do that!”

Flori smiled slightly before rolling her eyes, “I’m still the attractive twin.” She remarked.

She then used her finger to pull her nose up and she snorted a few times continuing, “Miss Piggy.”

“Liking food does not make me a pig.”

“Naming your stomach does make you a loser though.” Flori retorted.

Ria gasped in a clear dramatic fashion as she pressed her hand to her chest, “Marshmallow and I are both offended, that was very rude Flori.”

Detective Brooklyn snorted, then tried to cover it up by coughing and looking away as she smiled fondly. Catching you staring at her, her smile widened and she laughed slightly. Then she turned to the girls and sighed.

“Alright ladies, it’s time to head home.”

“But Eddie!” They said in unison.

“If we go home we can have a movie night and eat those cupcakes I’ve been hiding for you guys.”

“CUPCAKES?” Ria squealed as Flori’s jaw dropped.

It was then a hand came down on your shoulder and you flinched slightly. Looking you found Nightwing giving you a concerned look again. You blinked at him almost asking what was wrong.

“You gonna be okay?”

Turning back towards the girls who were now having a poke war, you smiled and nodded.

“I think I’m going to be just fine.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Nightmares of the past, memories so clear you could even taste them, yanked you from your sleep.

Ghost touches raced across your skin and you shuttered, pulling your legs to your chest, you took in a deep breath and tried to calm down. However it was a bit difficult. Your breathing was erratic and no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t calm yourself down. However, when you heard the small soft voices you began to come back into reality.

“Do you think a hug will help?”

“It doesn’t help me when I get like that. But it might, I think she’s just scared not... Should we ask Eddie?”

“Maybe Ria. Maybe.”

You took a deep breath in and your breathing slowed down, closing your eyes, you took in another breath. As you let it out you felt someone sit down next to you. Peeking an eye open you saw Flori looking up at you with concern and curiosity mixed on her face.

“Are you okay, miss?”

You nodded slowly, taking another breath in you nodded a bit more firmly and looked at her. Accidentally you met her eyes and her dark blue eyes reminded you of the color of the sky right before night fully took over. She blinked and raised an eyebrow at you slightly confused.

“Are you sure? Do you want a hug?”

Before you knew what you were doing you replied, “I’m fine... but a hug would be nice.”

Flori’s face brightened and she wrapped her small arms around you. You returned her hug and saw over Flori’s shoulder, Ria lurking in the darkness a blanket wrapped around her shoulder. She stepped forwards into the light and blinked. Her face was paler than earlier, she looked empty for a moment before she blinked and a smile was on her face.

It, being around Ria and Flori, reminded you of your childhood. Of your busy household and the noise, the laughter that it always held.

When you heard the sound of angry whispering you blinked and Flori pulled away from you. She looked back to Ria and the two got excited looks on their faces. Suddenly Flori was off the couch and Ria was running down the hall. Flori froze and turned back towards you. She held out her hand and smiled.

“Come on.”

You didn’t exactly know how you felt about a ten year old telling you what to do but you stood up and took her hand. Curiosity was burning through you, what could get the girls this excited?

You turned the corner and Ria was leaning around another corner smiling brightly. She saw the two of you and motioned for you to come towards her. You did and stopped before peering around the corner as well.

What you saw was... well incredibly surprising.

The window was open and Detective Brooklyn- Eddie was trying to shove Red Hood out it.

“Aw come on doll.”

“Y/n is here Hood. She knows I’m a cop and that you have a warrant out for your arrest!”

“Commissioner Gordon told me if I turn enough criminals in to him that would go away.”

“He did not! He would never.”

Red Hood shrugged before throwing his hands out in a I guess so motion. Eddie took this opportunity to get him mostly out of the window before he realized what she was doing and grabbed onto the window frame, pulling himself back in and undoing her work. Flori and Ria giggled, catching his attention. He turned towards you, poking his head back into the apartment.

“Girls! Come on out and help me, will ya?”

Flori snorted but moved out from the corner, Ria went to do so but paused first rubbing at her chest slightly before shaking her head and following after her sister.

You watched from around the corner as the girls stopped at Eddie’s side. She gave them a stink eye as she continued to try and push Red Hood out the window.

“You two shouldn’t be up. Especially you Ria.”

Taking the opportunity, due to Eddie being distracted, Red Hood pushed himself back into the apartment. Eddie wobbled and then fell on her butt cursing.

“Hood!” She snapped her face flushing.

Red Hood sighed before climbing back through the window. He looked at the girls and they laughed in a maniacal way. He laughed slightly before sighing again.

“You guys wanna try and convince her to let me in?”

The girls looked at each other then at Eddie and shook their heads. At least they’re loyal, you thought with a smile.

“I have a front door and you have normal clothes. If you had done this the normal way, you and I wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.” Eddie replied as she stood up.

“What would we be doing if I did it the normal way?”

You had to stop yourself from snorting. Eddie’s face was still flushed from when she hit the floor however you caught her eye roll and the hand gesture she showed him but not the girls.

Putting up his hands in defeat he nodded, “Fine, fine you win. Can I at least have a kiss goodbye?”

Eddie froze for a moment, you saw her tilt her head to the side before she blinked and shook her head.

“No.”

Red Hood crossed his arms and you were sure though you didn’t know him very well that under his helmet he was pouting, “Why not?”

“Because I know you Ja-. I know you Hood and if you can convince me to kiss you, you’re going to think you can convince me to let you in.”

Instead of replying Red Hood was silent which seemed strange. Looking towards him you saw him facing the girls and Ria’s wobbling slightly.

“Hood what’s-”

“You alright Squirt?” Red Hood asked, hopping in through the window and moving towards Ria.

“Ugh,” She muttered, her voice weak, “my chest hurts.”

It was then she dropped towards the ground. However instead of hitting the ground Red Hood caught her and pulled her up slightly.

“Ria!” Both Eddie and Flori exclaimed.

The two of them rushed towards her and Flori grabbed onto Ria’s arm as Eddie looked her over.

“Did you take your medicine Ria?”

The girl shook her head and Eddie glared at her.

“I don’t like them.” Ria mumbled as she leaned against Red Hood.

“I don’t care if you don’t like them, Ria, you need them... Flori would go and-” Eddie began but before she could even finish Flori was up and out of sight.

Before you knew it your found yourself in front of Eddie and Red Hood. You heard Flori’s footsteps racing around the apartment.

“Is-” You began hearing your voice crack, “is she gonna be okay?”

Eddie looked at you and for a moment you saw her gaze jump to Red Hood in a kind of nervous way. However, Red Hood answered your question.

“If she takes her meds, she’ll be fine. But the stubborn little squirt doesn’t like to.”

“They taste like shit.” Ria mumbled.

There was a pause of silence and Eddie glaring at Red Hood. She gave him a I told you so look. And he sighed.

“This is why I don’t like you cursing around them.”

“She cursed the bat brat out the other day. I don’t think it’s got anything to do with me.”

“She did what?”

“Curse the bat brat out. It was amazing. He couldn't even say a reply, he was stunned by Squirt’s colorful and creative wit.”

Ria laughed slightly before wincing and Eddie sighed. She rubbed her face looking even more exhausted than before and Flori came dashing back into the room, carrying a medicine bottle and a water bottle.

Flori passed them to Eddie who gestured to Red Hood to hold Ria up a bit more before looking at you. Flori passed you her head hanging down slightly.

“Would you,” Eddie began after Flori turned around the corner, “watch Flori for me? She always has a hard time when Ria has her fits.”

You nodded without thinking and turned to follow after her. Walking a bit quicker you made it in front of Flori and Ria’s room just as the door shut. You raised a hand and your heart began pumping your chest.

You shouldn’t bother her-

If she freaks out whenever her sister has fits she probably needs someone to talk to, if you don’t talk to her she’ll be alone and afraid

Knocking on the door you waited for a moment before hearing a very quiet, “Come in.”

Opening the door you peeked your head in to see Flori sitting on one of the beds in the room. In one corner was a bed up against the wall with art and posters of musicals and ballets on it. In the other corner was a bed with nothing on the wall. Flori sat on the bed against the wall with the posters and art.

She stared at the other bed, her knees against her chest and her head resting on the tops of her knees. Walking into the room, you closed the door behind you and moved to sit on the bed next to Flori.

“Her room is like this back home too.” She whispered as you sat down.

You pulled your legs onto her bed into a crisscross. Resting one arm by your stomach you set your other arm on top of the resting one’s fist and leaned your head against your free hand.

“What do you mean?” You dared to ask.

Flori sighed and pulled her legs tighter against her chest.

“Ria’s bedroom walls. They’re blank. She has no dreams, no ambitions, nothing. She refuses too... Did you know she loves to dance? Nearly as much as I do. She knows every move I know, her favorite ballet is Giselle because she believes she can relate. But she refuses to tell our parents how much she loves to dance. Did you know Ria has the voice of an angel when she sings? She loves to sing too... she loves to do all the things she shouldn’t.”

Your brow furrowed in confusion as Flori’s voice turned bitter and sharp.

“She is so full of life to be... to be dying.”

You blinked twice and released a breath as you began to understand what was going on.

“Why- is she-” You began struggling on how to word it.

“She’s sick.” Was all Flori said.

“Oh,”

“Yeah.”

You let out a sigh, for a moment you saw your mother in a hospital bed smiling at you softly. Fiddling with your hands you began to debate on whether or not to tell her your story.

“My mother... she had breast cancer. It tore her apart, seeing her in the hospital bed... slowly wasting away,” You remarked, sighing softly, “it nearly killed my father. It hurt me even though I was a little too young to fully understand. But... she got better, she recovered. She made it though it, Ria can too-”

“Ria’s sickness isn’t something she can recover from or get over. It isn’t cancer, it isn’t a cold, it isn’t the flu. Her sickness isn’t something you can catch and then get over. It’s been consuming her life since the day we were born! She’s going to die, she knows it too. It’s why she tries so hard to be bright, to be bubbly and nice despite- despite all she’s going through.” Flori snapped tears appearing in her eyes, “Our parents have kept her locked in the house for most of our lives... she has never seen a beach or even snow. Ria has no idea the thrill of tumbling down a hill or what it’s like to ride a bike because- because they never let her. Ria is going to die never having truly lived and it kills me.”

You had no idea what to say to her, or even how to begin to comfort her. Wringing your hands you bit your lip as you looked the girl over. She turned to you, tears in her eyes.

“Why? Why did it just have to be her? Why couldn’t it be me too? She’s so alone in this and- and I don’t know what to do! She has no friends, she has me, our parents and Eddie and that’s it! I have friends, I have so many people but- but it just doesn’t seem right. We are twins, we are supposed to share everything, why couldn’t we share this?”

You blinked twice, Flori really wanted to make sure her sister knew she wasn’t alone but she didn’t seem to realize lamenting over the fact that it was only Ria was the one who was sick.

“How about instead of trying to pin blame on someone for being sick you try to make her feel like her sickness isn’t the only thing about her.” You tried waving your hands, “I mean it’s clear you love her. But it isn’t your fault that she’s sick. It’s not like you wanted her to be born like this. And it seems like your parents are treating her like the only thing she is, is sick. Treat like she’s... well Ria. And I think it will make things easier for both of you.”

Out of the corner of your eyes you saw Flori lower her legs away from her chest and she sat up straight. Rubbing her nose she nodded somewhat slowly.

“You’re right.”

You turned towards her and she smiled at you slightly before leaning forwards and hugging you.

“Thank you Miss L/N.”

Pulling apart you gently patted Flori’s head and shot her a soft smile, “How about you get to bed. I bet Ria will be fine in the morning.”

Flori nodded and you got up to leave. However she grabbed onto your arm stopping you in your tracks.

You looked down at her slightly confused.

“Uh, Would you stay?” She asked looking up at you.

You sighed and smiled. Nodding she quickly pulled back the covers on her bed and patted a side of it. You climbed into the bed and Flori smiled at you.

“Thank you,” She whispered with a yawn before closing her eyes, “thank you.”

You looked at her for a moment before nestling into the pillow and closing your eyes with one thought in your head.

It’s nice to be wanted.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

It had been almost two weeks since you crashed at Edelynne Brooklyn’s apartment. Two weeks since Daniel returned to town and put a price on you, two weeks since Nightwing became your personal “bodyguard.”

You would be lying if you were to say you weren’t surprised when you arrived back at your apartment, accompanied by Detective Brooklyn or Eddie. There seemed to be no sign of Daniel or any of his goons. So you settled back into your apartment.

However, Eddie informed you, for your safety it would be better for you to stay at your apartment. Not only due to the fact that she and the vigilante’s could easily surveille it, but due to the fact that Daniel could very easily convince someone to lead you away from the library to grab you.

At first you were a little bummed and it occurred to you that you had missed your date with Dick, however he didn’t try to contact you nor did Jason. Instead of worry about it you were actually having a lot of fun with Nightwing

And while Nightwing was fun to hang around and the longer you spent around him the stronger your feelings got, sometimes he was really fucking annoying.

After a late night working on library business from home you decided to sleep in the next morning, Nightwing it seemed, decided that wasn’t going to happen.

At seven in the morning while you were blissfully asleep you felt something gently tap your shoulder, then your face. Blinking blearily you sat up.

“Good morning Gorgeous.”

Standing over your in his classic black and blue costume was Nightwing. Grumbling, you flopped back onto your bed and pulled your covers over your head.

“Fuck off,” You stated loud enough he could still hear you, “I’m trying to sleep.”

You heard a slight snort, then suddenly your blanket was gone and you were lying on your bed shivering. Sitting up you glared at Nightwing who held your stolen blanket in his gloved hands.

Readying yourself into a crouched position you waited for a moment before jumping towards the blanket. Just as you were about to grab it Nightwing yanked it out of your reach and caught you in his arms.

He laughed at your frustrated expression and as you crossed your arms and pouted. Setting you on the ground he smiled broadly at you and remarked.

“Why do you have to be so cute?”

Without thinking you replied looking him dead in the eyes, “Why do you have to be so hot?”

Nightwing blinked a few times, looking slightly shocked, he lowered your blanket closer to the floor and looked at you almost as if he didn’t believe it.

“What did you say?”

You froze as you realized what you said. Your face flushed and you shifted slightly, breaking his gaze before looking to the floor.

“Nothing, it was nothing.”

Nightwing gave you a skeptical look before he leaned towards you a suggestive smile on his face. Your face turned a brighter shade of red and you realized this was a perfect opportunity to grab the blanket from his hands.

Lunging forwards you yanked the blanket from him. You had just grasped it and began to pull away when Nightwing began to pull back until he didn’t. The blanket went limp in your hands and you fell onto your butt.

Nightwing blinked twice and shook his head. Running his hand through his hair he let out a frustrated grunt before sighing.

“I’ve- I’ve got to go. But I’ll be right back.”

He headed towards the window and you blinked in surprise. Scrambling to your feet you chased after him grabbing onto his arm. He turns back towards you, a clearly torn expression on his face.

“Wait,” You said, giving him a confused look as the thoughts descended upon you.

He’s leaving, he’ll never come back, it’s because you’re a mistake a problem a beast-

“Where are you going?”

Nightwing looked at you and sighed, he then stroked the side of your face with one of his hands. You leaned into his touch and then he pulled away.

“I’ve got to go, the other vigilante’s need my help with something but I’ll be right back.”

You blinked and realized while it had been fun with Nightwing being here and hanging out with him you could finally get out of your apartment. You smiled at him and then he gave you a suspicious look.

“You, “ he began looking at you, “are going to stay here, Okay?”

“But-” You protested for a moment throwing your hands up before he cut you off taking your face into his hands.

“If anything happened to you, it would utterly ruin me.” He said somewhat slowly as he rested his head against yours.

Your cheeks flushed once again and you blinked a few times. Pulling away from you he sighed and slowly pulled his hands away from your cheeks. He probably said goodbye but you were in too much shock to realize it and before you knew he was on your window sill and then gone.

You sighed feeling the temptation to leave however his words echoed in your ears and you shook your head.

“If anything happened to you, it would utterly ruin me.”

Your heart fluttered in your chest and you sat down by the window resting your chin in your hand and you waited. And waited. And waited. You waited even when the storm clouds rolled in, even when they split open and rain began to pour down. You waited for hours. It was only when the night was turning day again as the rain continued to pour from the heavens that he returned.

Your window swung open and your stomach swirled, however it was a soaked Nightwing that came through the window and not Daniel or some random thug.

You rushed towards him and quickly wrapped him in a hug.

“I’m so glad you’re okay! I was so worried about you. I don’t know what I would have done if something happened to you. I mean like I don’t really think my feelings matter since your a hero and whatever and people would say so much shit to you if anything started between us- not that it would. But it’s just I care about you a lot.” You rambled as you pressed your face into his chest.

Oh gosh, you couldn’t believe you just blurted all of that out. Maybe he didn’t hear all of it. Maybe some of it was muffled. Maybe, you hoped, maybe.

For a moment the world seemed to stop and everything was right. Then Nightwing had his hands on your shoulders and pulled you away from him. He gave you a slightly angry look and you instantly regretted your little ramble.

“What is this nonsense about other people? I love every damned piece of you no matter what anyone else says.”

You blinked once, then twice, then three times before you fully understood what he said.

“I love every damned piece of you ”

“No matter what anyone else says.”

Your heart skipped a beat and you gave him a wide-eyed look. Your pretty sure your jaw had dropped and your stomach swirled as you replayed his words over and over and over again in your head.

“You,” You began your voice almost squeaking, “love me?”

Nightwing smiled and nodded, pressing his head against yours.

“Of course I love you. I’d be an idiot not to.”

You blushed and flushed and tried to stutter out a reply but unfortunately you couldn’t. Your cheeks were heated and you felt your heart racing in your chest.

For some reason the first thing your mind jumped to was Dick Grayson, how you had a crush on him no matter your feelings- your love for Nightwing.

“But-” You began taking a step back from him, “I- I have a crush.”

A smile slowly formed on Nightwing’ s face as you took another step back from him.

“I mean I love- like. LIKE! I like you but, I do have a crush and - and” You rambled shaking your hands very confused.

Nightwing laughed, he actually laughed and you felt your cheeks flushing an even darker color. He took a step towards you and you took a step away from him. He raised his hands almost in defense and remarked,

“About that...”

“About what?” You asked, suddenly feeling suspicious.

“About the whole crush and me thing, I know who your crush is.”

You gave him a confused look and shook your head. there was no way he knew who your crush was, there wasn’t!

“It’s Dick Grayson.”

You looked at him in surprise, your jaw dropping nearly in shock. He laughed slightly at your face before taking a step towards you. This time you didn’t take a step back. He got closer until he was right in front of you.

“And I,” Nightwing began, reaching up for his eye mask, “Am Dick Grayson.”

He took off his eye mask and looked at you. You blinked your eyes going wide as you saw his face. His very much Dick Grayson face.

Nightwing is Dick Grayson. Dick Grayson is Nightwing......

You talked about your crush to your crush.........

As your mind exploded in on itself Nightson- Dickwing- the man in front of you held out his hands as if he was going to catch you were you to faint.

You laughed slightly then proceeded to place your face in your hands and let out moans of despair.

He knew.

He knew every little thing that you thought- well most of the things that you thought. He knew of your side of the situation- wait. Wait, why did he ask that? Why did he-

“Why did you ask me if my anxiety tends to make me tune people out?” You found yourself questioning.

Dickwing- or whoever he was smiled at you and laughed slightly before replying,

“Well, because when we were in the aisle at the library and you asked what I liked I said I like you.”

You froze once again blinking in surprise. So he tried to ask you out previously. That’s why Jason and Damian were laughing.

Jason and Damian.... if Dick was Nightwing that meant they were probably vigilante’s too. Red Robin.... definitely Tim.

Bruce must be Batman which would mean Damian is Robin. That just left Jason.

However, before you could try and figure out which vigilante Jason was, your phone buzzed. Pulling it out of your pocket you looked at your phone to see a text from Eddie.

Eddie: Come to the station, now, you need to see this.

You showed ... Dick your phone. He hummed slightly and gave you a look.

“We might as well go... but first let me change”

You nodded with a sigh and went and got your coat.

Before you knew it you were walking up to the station. On the roof of the station was a flash of red. As you got closer you realized it wasn’t a flash but a helmet. Sitting on the roof of the Gotham City police department was Red Hood.

He spotted you and Dick and waved. You blinked as you noticed the other man tied up on the roof looking fairly angry. It was Daniel. Your breathing stopped for just a moment until he tried to wriggled only for Red Hood to kick him and for Daniel to stop moving.

“Oh would you look at that, it’s a pretty librarian. How ya doin sweetheart?” Red Hood remarked getting just a bit closer to you.

You heard Dick sigh and gave Red Hood a confused look. Slowly the gear in your mind began to turn.

“I assume,” Red Hood mused since he didn’t get an answer from you, “You’re doing much better now that scum like Natalonie’s off the streets am I right?”

Before you could reply Eddie walked out of the station looking at her phone. She looked up at you and waved before walking towards you. She stopped at your side and gestured towards Red Hood.

“See what I mean?” She remarked.

“Detective, Detective, Detective,” Red Hood whistled looking at Eddie, “where can I get your number?”

Eddie replied in a sweet tone, “Up your ass maybe?”

Red Hood laughed before getting even closer to the edge of the roof, “Come on doll that’s no way to be.”

“Fuck off to some one who care Hood.” Eddie replied, flipping him the bird.

You heard Red Hood laugh again but before he could say anything else he looked in a different direction and his shoulders sank a little. Looking back to Eddie, had he not been wearing a helmet you swear he would be smiling.

“I guess I’ll have to try you again later Detective.”

Eddie rolled her eyes, the semblance of a smile starting to form on her face, she shook her head and flipped him off again, “In your dreams Hood.”

“Where else would they be doll?” Red Hood remarked before giving a quick salute and taking off.

It took you a moment to realize it but the puzzle piece began to fit together. How Eddie nearly called Red Hood by his name, why he seemed to know who you were, why he talked to you so casually when you met him when you were staying with Eddie.

Red Hood was Jason... which meant Eddie was the girl. The one he couldn’t get over. It all made sense... well sort of.

“Oh my gosh.” You muttered pressing a hand to your face as you realized that Eddie shoved Jason out a window.

“You just connected it didn’t you?” Dick asked with a smile.

You looked at him slightly confused, raising an eyebrow almost in question, you give him a confused look.

“Daniel’s going to prison for a very long time.” Eddie informed you as she looked at her phone again shaking her head, she looked up and smiled at you.

“Have fun you two,” She then said with a wink before turning to walk away.

You flushed slightly before turning to Dick. He smiled at you and you took in a breath.

He was the only man who had your affections. Basically All the Man that you needed. So you should probably tell him how you feel.

“I honestly don’t think there’s anyone I ever loved as much as I love you.” You said slowly, not exactly meeting his eyes.

He laughed slightly before pressing his head to yours, “Neither do I.”

You smiled and looked up, looking at him in his bright blue eyes.

“So, how about a rain-check on that date?”

You smiled slyly and then the both of you burst into laughter.

“I’ve got time,” He replied, “for you, I’ve got all the time in the world.”

Blushing slightly, you smiled at him and sighed, “Awesome.”

=============================================================

AUTHOR’S NOTE!!!!

Okay first thing’s first I just wanna let you guys know my original idea of all the man that I need was like gonna be a full on fic. I told my friend all about it and like it had a lot details and everything, but then I got to college and even thought I really love doing these, it was super difficult to write. Not because I don't’ have tome because I actually have a surprising amount of free time but because I just couldn’t find any inspiration. So a few days ago I decided I was going to start spooky season a little early and try writing to some Halloween music.... and it worked! I was able to get moving with this two-shot! So yeah Halloween music is my muse right now 😂.

But yeah, anyways my OC’s... technically there was a lot of them in this but only two are going to have stories, the others will be either background characters or part of their past. I’ll tell you one because it’s actually the first idea I and for a batfam fanfic. It’s Eddie and her story. I’m not gonna lie it’s kinda sad but not nearly has sad as the other one because I have a lot of issues🤣.

Back to the point if y’all wanna see more of certain OC’s just let me know I can find a way to include them into the one-shots, two-shots or fics. But yeah.

Finally I might be a little slower on the posting just because I’m in school and finding enough time to get inspiration and write, edit and have a friend proof-read it will take a while. But I will definitely have some done. Anyway thanks so much for being sooo patient with me!

Lots of love!

-Redhead-batgirl

Tag List:

@andromedaj2003, @battlenix, @sol-the-salmon

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xeulousluv · 3 years

Text

Almost

AN: Hello everyone, I am fairly new to posting on this app, so therefore I am still learning how to use it. Hehe :) Anyways, I hope you are having a great day!

Warning: Nothing really, maybe a little bit of angst?

Zayn and Y/n broke up and all he’s left with are the videos she took during their senior year of high school.

September 1st, 2010:

The camera was set up in her hand as she was slightly fixing her hair, a huge smile plastered on her makeup covered face. He always thought she looked better without makeup, but sometimes you couldn’t beat the insecurities.

“Here we are, the first day of senior year! How are we feeling, Zayn?”

Next to her stood himself, a much younger version of himself. Two years to be exact. He was almost unrecognizabel, with his usual high school attire adoring his body. A white tee-shirt, black skinny jeans, and not to mention his varsity football jacket hanging off of his shoulders. She looked lovingly at her boyfriend, her eyelashes beating against the softness of her rounded cheeks.

“I’m ready to get out of here, the last three years were the upmost worst years of my life.” Zayn spoke truthfully, he hadn’t expected to make it past the ninth grade, but with the help of Y/n, he managed to make it all the way to his graduating year. Y/n gave him an offended look before responding, “Hey! If it weren’t for these last three years, you would’ve never met me, let alone had the courage to talk to me. Am I really that bad?”

She laughed out while speaking, all so he knows that she is joking and would never accuse him of thinking such things. Though, he was already two steps ahead of her and was laughing along at her sad attempt of looking offended. “Of course not, baby. You are what kept me going.” With that, Zayn kissed her temple and she let out a small giggle before stopping the camera.

September 5th, 2010:

Random small talk was heard on the computer sitting in front of Zayn, before her face showed with a bright glow. She was so beautiful it almost hurt. She was laughing at something her friend Emery said, though it was completely inaudible, he just let the smile take over his face hearing her laugh again.

“I don’t exactly know why I turned this on, but hello! We successfully made it through the first week of school, and let me just say, it was not fun. The teachers still hate me.” Again, Y/n laughed towards the camera.

“I remember this one time last year when Mr. Lambert threw me out of class because I wouldn’t stop laughing. In my defence, he was talking about the safety of condoms and Zayn kept mocking him. That was a detention worth going to.” Zayn remembered that day clearly. He sat to the left of Y/n, Mr. Lambert’s first mistake, and would whisper in her ear how he would show her the proper way to wear a condom when they got to her house that night. To say he did end up showing her was an understatement.

The camera then turned to her friend before she continued on with what she was saying, “Anyways, Emery here, has informed me about this back to school party for seniors at Anthony Stilettos house. So, we are heading to the mall so we can get a nice looking outfit for tonight. I’ll see you guys later!” And with that the camera switched off.

He thought that was the end of the video, but when she popped back on his screen, he was pleasantly surprised. She wore a black dress that just reached her knees, the end of it rippled and flew each time she took a step. Her hair and makeup was done, and her shoes matched her dress, she really was the most beautiful person he has ever met.

Without saying anything, Y/n moved the camera to where the view was now on Emery. She wore a simple tight red dress that fit her like a glove, she was placing bobby pins in her hair before realising a camera was watching her every move. Emery turned away from the mirror Y/n had in her room, and started making random poses into the camera. The video finally ended with Y/n facing the camera back to herself while laughing at it.

October 7th, 2010:

It was homecoming. Their final homecoming, and of course, Zayn asked her to be his date. He didn’t go all out like the previous years, this particular year was asked right after they finished giving each other their all. They were bunched up together, all sweaty and breathless, and that is when Zayn asked her to go to homecoming with him. He thought it was gross because of their previous activities, but Y/n thought it was sweet, endearing even. It was personal and intimate, she wouldn’t have had it any other way. Plus, she was tired of all the attention that comes with getting asked to homecoming.

Her dress was a beautiful shade of baby yellow, Zayn wore his usual black suit but with a yellow tie and a yellow rose pinned to his coat pocket. The night couldn’t have been anymore magical.

“Z, are you ready to go? Emmy and Dallas are waiting in the car.” Her soft voice echoed through the speakers, she was worried about being late. But more so, excited about what the night had planned for the couple. Zayn was fixing his hair, like he does any other day, however today, he wanted to look his absolute best. “Just one more second, love. Gotta look perfect before leaving these four secured walls.”

Y/n rolled her eyes into the camera before another smile took over her face. It only got wider as he finally announced that he was ready.

“Baby, you look handsome! You don’t need all that hair gel, make one wrong move and we’re calling you Uncle Jesse.” Zayn scoffed, his hands finding their place on her hips, him being pressed up against her back. His chin resting on her shoulder, they looked so in love. They were so in love.

October 31st, 2010:

Fall was Y/n’s favorite season, meaning Halloween was by far her favorite holiday. She squealed into the camera when Zayn walked out in his Peter Pan costume. “Baby, you look so fucking adorable!” She cooed, though Zayn was having none of it. “Do we have to go to this party? Can’t we just stay in and watch scary movies, I promise I will protect you if you get too scared!”

He knew it was no use, Y/n had been going on and on about Anthony’s costume party for the past week, so when she started laughing, Zayn internally groaned. “Brave of you to assume I will get scared during a horror movie. How about we go for just an hour, then you and I can come back here and watch whatever movie you want?”

At that, his ears perked, he could go for an hour. That gives him all the more time alone with his love. “Hocus Pocus? That’s my favorite.”

“Yes baby, we can watch Hocus Pocus, do this for me, and I’m all yours for the rest of the night.” A grin was stretched across his face as she leaned up and gave a peck to his lips. Adoration shining brightly in her eyes as she looked up at him. “You are so lucky I love you, Y/n.”

“I love you, Zayn. More than you will ever know.”

December 31st, 2010:

“Hola, my favorite people! Happy New Years Eve, I hope you guys are having a good day. My family is having a little party to bring in the new year, even though you won’t be watching this until later when I decide to post it, I hope you guys have an amazing holiday. Be safe now. Bye!”

Christmas and New Year’s was hard for Y/n. She had major separation anxiety for everyone she grows close to, so not being able to see the people she loves for a whole two weeks was taking a toll on her. Not to mention, Zayn went back to Bradford for the holidays, so he wasn’t there to keep her calm. All she had was the emails and messages he would send her.

However, that night was different. She didn’t know what it was, but the air felt more intoxicating. There was something she was missing and the young girl couldn’t put her finger on it.

Emery got ahold of Y/n’s camera without her noticing, pressing the ‘record’ button and smiling.

“Hi, as many of you may know, my name is Emery White. Before questions start racing through your head about where Y/n is, she is currently in the kitchen talking to one of her neighbors, and she knows nothing about this so, shhh!” Emery held her index finger up to her mouth, even though she is talking to a camera.

“So, the time is now 11:58, meaning it is almost New Year’s and I got a message from a good friend of mine to get her camera and start recording. Oh wait, she’s coming over! Act normal!”

“Emmy? Why do you have my camera, wait no, when did you get my camera?” Emery turned her neck to look at Y/n, and smiled while looking at her friends confused face. “It’s almost midnight, I figured we could record the big moment for your journal thing.”

Y/n looked at her watch and sure enough, it was 12:59, and the people around her were counting down. By the time Y/n looked back at her friend, Emery had switched her position to behind the camera, her smile now stretching to her eyes. She gave a confused smile towards the camera before shaking her head.

10..

9..

8..

A tap was felt on Y/n’s shoulder making her turn around, not believing her eyes, she had to do a double take. There he was in all of his glory. Zayn stood in front of her with a bouquet of random flowers, her eyes widening in complete shock.

3..

2..

Before she could fully process his presence, Zayn had planted his lips against hers in what he would call, one of their best kisses. His arms went around her waist while hers were around his neck, keeping him as close as humanly possible. She was the first to pull away from the kiss, tears forming at the bottom of her eyes but never fell. Zayn pulled her back, this time her face went into his neck as he whispered out a small, “Happy New Years, baby.”

May 22nd, 2011:

Senior prom, a day Y/n has waited her entire life for. Getting all dolled up for one night of perfection sounded glorious. Unlike most people, her dress doesn’t reach the floor but goes a little ways past her knees. It was a light shade of green, she wasn’t usually one for the cliche pink and blue, and her stomach was laced over showing her belly button peircing. She felt on top of the world, the most gorgeous she has ever felt in her entire life.

Zayn was in a nude tuxedo, a lightish green tie tucked into the blazer. “It’s prom day, baby, how do you feel?” The now well-known camera placed in front of his face, though he paid no attention to it, but really the girl behind it. “Like I have the most beautiful girlfriend in the world. How did I get so lucky, hm?”

The blush was evident on her face, he could see it perfectly now even with the camera facing him and not herself. He could still see the light in her eyes. Looking back on it, he couldn’t imagine living his life without her, how could he let her go?

It wasn’t like they got in a fight or anything, Zayn and Y/n were going to different colleges and he didn’t want to do the whole long distance thing. He felt she deserved better than that. So even though the breakup was absolutely not a mutual agreement, Y/n somewhat understood and let him walk away.

“You’re such the charmer, Zayn. Always got me blushing for no good reason.”

“I would be a bad boyfriend if I didn’t.”

Now turning the camera to face both of them, Zayn placed a kiss on her lips before turning off the camera and letting their night go on as best as it could, for it would be one of the last good memories they have. Except at the time, neither of them knew the last time would actually be the last time.

June 4th, 2011:

“Hey everyone, I just want to start off by saying congratulations, we made it. Graduating today was the most amazing feelings, and I’m sure you all can agree with me. The past four years have really taught me a lot, I know I sound like the Mallory Barnes, our valedictorian that gave the speech today, but I’m serious, you all have been amazing. Teachers included.”

Y/n wasn’t in her usual attire. She was in a comfortable baggy hoodie, and that’s all you could see as her camera was propped on the desk in the corner of the room. Her hair was in a messy bun, no makeup, and her glasses were sat perfectly on her nose. What no one could notice was the slight puffiness to her eyes, the way they were red and tired. But Zayn noticed, however. When Y/n first uploaded this to her instagram, Zayn couldn’t bare to watch it, so seeing it now definitely brought back a feeling he tried too hard to push away.

“In the past four years I have learned about friendships, I learned about love, and I learned about heartbreak. I have got to say, high school brought me some really great friendships that I will cherish forever. I am finding it very difficult to say goodbye, but we are bound to go off and do bigger and better things. The future awaits for us.”

“I just want to thank you guys for the amazing memories, and I hope you guys make your dreams come true.” Y/n sighed into the camera, she was really bad at saying goodbye, though you would think it would be easier considering no one likes high school. However, Y/n loved every single second of it, maybe not the learning but the memories made.

“Now, I am going to get really sappy for a minute and say a massive thank you to the man who has loved me for the past four years. Zayn, I know we haven’t talked in a few weeks, and you’re probably not even watching this, but just know that I am so proud of you. I don’t know how I could not be. I really hope you make something wonderful of yourself. You were by far my favorite part of this journey. Thank you for sticking with me and for loving me. And even though we aren’t together anymore, I love you.”

“We almost had it all, didn’t we?”

AN: Yeah, I don't think I like this babahahah. Love the concept but someone out there could definitely write it better.

#zayn mailk #zayn x reader #zayn malik fanfic #zayn malik angst #angst fanfic

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