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Hiiii! I am indeed alive.
Soooo ADHD, depression and writer's block hit me so hard I'm still having difficulty even thinking about any kind of writing.
HOWEVER!
I believe getting new/fresh ideas might help me out! So, if y'all have anything i previously mentioned you're dying to see written, let me know or give me the new ideas to help get me jump started.
Overall, I just wanted to let y'all know that I am in fact still around and kicking and attempting to continue the content for y'all.
Lots of love,
Redhead-batgal 😘😘
#batboys#batfam#y/n#jason todd#reader#batfamily#redhead batgal#reader x batfam#reader x batboy#batboys x reader#batboys x y/n
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Type: One-Shot (First part- Drabble) {If you want things to make sense you probably should read it, the first part, 😁😁😁}
Pairing: Fem! Student! and Soulmate! Reader x Damian Wayne/Robin
AU: Soulmate! Reader
Content: Swearing, angst, teenage stupidity, aged up kiddos 16/17, technical talk about soulmates, lowkey frustrations, some much angst yall, some fluff, mythology, toxic parents, and soul crushing
Word Count: 7,233
(P.S: Okay so this is going to be continuing from the I Feel a Sin Coming On drabble, I've been getting a few comments on it asking for a part two and someone sent in a request for a Shy and Smart Student! Reader with Damian and let's just say the gears in my head started turning. Anyways this could go on if you guys want it to, but it could also end like this! It will break you. I hope you all enjoy! :D)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~While, unfortunately, it's true the somewhat cruel existence of soul mates was around and kicking, love- true love was still there. Or at least it was believed to be there. It supposedly thrived even more for some reason. Some speculated that it was because there was a standing of everyone deserving love. Whether they were good or bad or in-between, they got someone who would love them for the rest of their life regardless of all the mistakes they made or continue to make. Others said it was because the universe deemed people good enough to have someone for the rest of their lives. Which seems a little close minded for a society in which everyone has a soulmate. But maybe that was because of the belief that if things didn’t work out with your soulmate- if you didn’t love them as you should or didn’t get the love you thought you deserved- it was because you weren’t good enough. Weren’t good enough to get the right kind of love. But in the end soulmates do exist. They exist and are for everyone. For each person you pass on the road, there is someone out there for them. Just as there's someone out there for you.
But the daunting notion that you have to be the right kind of good to get your perfect love chilled you to the bone. After all, if it wasn’t perfect what did that say about you? Because in the end weren’t they made for you? Maybe that’s why some still believed in true love, that it was real. Both because of and not because of soulmates. Rather because of the concept. Someone made just for you. Even if that person was flawed-if you are flawed, just as they were made for you, you were made for them. But sometimes, what is made for you can harm you a lot more than what’s not.
It was why you believed that the reason true love might still exist was actually because some people fell for their soulmate before they realized they were fated to be. Before that dreaded bond-that agonizing pull kicked, of their own free will they fell in love. Because they didn't have to suffer through the pull of a bond they never wanted, these people were blissfully ignorant of what forced love was like. They did not know the horrors of those forced to stay with someone their heart loved but mind did not. And despite all your animosity towards soulmates, despite your fear and hatred, what made this all the worse-all the more ironic-was that you were technically one of those people.
Before you even knew what a soulmate was to you-before you were old enough to recognize the pull, to feel, it’s dark and fervent demand for attention-you fell for him. For his laugh: in the way he tilted his chin back as if trying to suppress its joyous sound and his smile: in the way the corners of his would curve showing a slight dimple in his left cheek and revealing the softness his eyes could have. For his kindness: in the way he disregarded what others said and lived his life freely as himself despite the demand of society for him to be like the rest-to be normal. For his mortality: in the way he would never allow bullies to pick on others around him, even if he thought they needed to toughen up. But most importantly for the way he tried each and every single day to learn more and be better even if you’re the only one who noticed. For the way he seemed to be all what you dreamed, something that should have caused you suspicion but instead drew you in.
That is until your 13th birthday and, much like many before you, you felt the tug of that dreaded bond.
You were six when you decided to loathe soulmates. Six when you swore on your very soul- your existence that you would never love your soulmate. You swore to live in misery of your own making rather than fates. No matter who they were, you would hate them.
But fate... well fate hated to be tested. So, fate did the worst thing it could. It made you fall for the one person you swore never to.
Your soulmate.
Your very own soulmate who seemed like the only light in the dark and suddenly you began questioning whether or not these feelings- these emotions you had thought were your own and genuine- were actually yours. Or if they were just fate pulling its strings and making you dance and dance and dance.
To say you were upset was an understatement and... well let's just say fate might be prideful, but you were twice as petty.
At age thirteen you shoved the emotions you had so dearly cherished so deep in your chest they seemed like nothing more than echoes of naive mind. You distanced yourself from him and only let yourself feel in your loneliest of moments.
Four years, it had nearly been four years since you had begun your battle against fate. And- and and fate was getting stronger... as you have been told. The older you get- the closer you are to your soulmate, the stronger the bond is.
Those moments... those lonely moments happened more often, and those stupid annoying emotions rose up with the beating of your traitorous heart.
Which is exactly how you ended up in the last place you ever wanted to be. Face to face with your soulmate... with them recognizing you and what you were to them.
"I'm your soulmate." Damian Fucking Wayne said his eyes locked on you as you felt your heart jump to your throat and all the color drain from your face.
"Fucking shit, " You whispered, unable to break his gaze.
Shaking-hand shaking and heart pounding at your rib cage demanding you acknowledge him-that you give in and tell him he’s right. That you are soulmates and let fate drive you. But there was something fate and your treasonous heart seemed to forget. You were one petty bitch.
Weakly smiling you let out a nervous laugh and turned, avoiding eye contact. Eyes darting around they finally settled on your bare wrist as your other hand scrambled to gather your things against your trembling chest.
"Oh- my,” Your voice cracked as you shoved your things into your bag, “would you look at the time! I need to get going."
Fingers racing over the items in your bag you went to zip it close and make your escape when your eyes rested on your final item. The book you were reading earlier. Which just so happened (damn you fate) to be right in front of Damian. Eyes raising to him, gazes latching for just a moment you did the one thing you should not. You looked down, down and back at your book before making the stupidly impulsive decision to lunge for it. Your fingers brushed the cover, nails barely scraping lines into it when a hand-warm and firm clasped around your wrist. Pulling you back towards the table in a quick tug that caused your stomach to slam against the tables side. Wincing you stabbed your nails into your palm, not daring to look up. You had fallen for his trap, the oh so obvious trap you could have avoided had you just not looked at him.
"I'm your soulmate," He said again, his voice clear and stanch as he gently pulled on your arm, clearly trying to get you to meet his eyes, "and you are mine."
Soulmate- God why did you have to care about him. Why- why-did it have to be him? Why-
why couldn’t fate just leave you alone?
Something about the tone of his voice made your heart shatter. It was almost desperate, but you couldn’t-you couldn’t allow yourself to be weak. After all, you would not let fate win. Petty- you were so violently petty and prideful- oh even fate knew this yet- it still tried... this- you wouldn't let this stand. You could-no would not allow fate to get away with even attempting this. Taking a breath in-a deep breath- you raised your chin. Steadying your mind with the thoughts of your parents, of how you needed to be around them. Calm, poised, emotionless. Ignoring the well of tears in your throat and the pressure behind your eyes you finally met his gaze.
Green. All you could see was those beautiful green eyes, wide and desperate. Yearning-yearning for you to give a reply. But the one you were about to give would only hurt those eyes, regardless, it needed to be done. One pain- one moment or time of pain and sorrow was far better than a life of them.
Slowly letting out the breaths you previously let in you tilted your head, feeling his grip on your wrist lightening.
“I do not have a soulmate," You began instantly seeing the surprise on his face-the confusion, so you continued, “I won’t have one. Not you. Not anyone. You see, I don't believe in soulmates. So, I do believe you are mistaken.”
His grip dropped but seeing the broken look on his face made your facade crumble in an instant as your heart screamed to stop. To comfort him. To take back your words and press yourself into his arms. But you were smarter than that, even if you weren’t strong enough to hide the tears anymore. Throat bobbing, you felt your mouth tremble as your eyes stung and something warm began spilling down your cheeks.
Pulling yourself away from him, you smiled a bitter smile, not even daring to acknowledge the tears you were shedding. Head high, you turned.
Voice cracking, you bid farewell, “Now, if you excuse me, I have to get going.”
Feet scrambling you nearly dashed out the door, leaving the book that got you into this mess behind. After all, it was now only going to hold harish and painful memories.
As soon as your feet touched the gravel, you ran. Tears freely spilled down your cheeks and you sobbed and panted. Mind trying it’s best to soothe the heart that had just torn itself into pieces. But there was nothing it could do. There was nothing you could do but cry and run. Run away from him. From all the pain you had and were going to feel. It was hell, yes. But at least it was yours. At least you knew how and why it had happened, at least you knew what was to come. At least you were still you right?
By the time you had finally calmed your tears-though your heart was still howling, you had made it home. Wiping your tears you took a deep breath in and held it, hoping it would steady your mind and breathing enough to face what was about to come. You hesitated for a moment, then let the breath out wiped your face again and walked up to the door. It was then you heard the shouting. The rage filled voices cursing at each other, dishes and shoes flying, shattering and knocking things about.
Hand trembling you pushed down the doorknob and walked in. The barrage of insults and dissonance of things being thrown slammed into you. Your feet shuffled across the floor as you saw the shadows in the kitchen, too caught up in their most recent argument to even acknowledge your existence-that is until they came into view.
“God you never listen!” Your father roared
“Better than sitting on my ass doing nothing all day!” Your mother countered
Quivering you slowly moved towards the staircase as their fight pushed into the living room. Your father’s hands waved as your mother rolled her eyes at him, arms crossed.
“Really that’s how you’re gonna be?”
“Yeah it is.”
“Fine then, I’ll just take this lazy ass of mine and leave!”
“GOOD!”
With that your father turned and stormed past you straight out the door, slamming it behind him. You flinched and turned to see your mother staring at you.
“Ugh! I can’t believe him,” She hissed before she shook her head, scowling, “absentee father, sitting on his ass all day while I make the money and take care of the needless kid. God, pregnant at 18- now married to that loser! My life went down the drain. If only it weren't for you...”
Those words stabbed at your heart, sinking in their little daggers in the spots they knew best. You knew she didn’t mean for you to hear them, but you always did. It wasn’t the first time you had heard things like this, but it did seem to hurt all the more due to what happened earlier this afternoon. Sniffing slightly, you lowered your head and your voice cracking as you had to fight off more tears whimpered,
“I’m sorry mom.”
As if a flip switched your mom’s brown furrowed and scowl dropped. She looked you over, concern in her eyes and she took a step forward.
“Are you okay honey? You don’t sound too good.”
Raising your head you tightly smiled and nodded, “Of course, just stressed cuz of school. I’ve got some exams coming up and it’s causing my emotions to be all over the place.”
She nodded eyes raving over you, resentment heavy in them as she plopped onto the couch with sigh, “Okay, you better be doing good in school alright? Don't want you to end up like that louse of man your father is.”
You nodded again, “Of course! Actually I was about to go and study.”
“Good, you do that.” She replied as she picked up the remote and flipped on the T.V.
You paused, for just a moment watching her as the resentment began to slide from her eyes, her face softening. She was so pretty, yet harsh lines from constant scowls and frowns bore their way onto her cheeks. Line surrounded her eyes from the tears and sleepless nights. And it was all because of you. Turning, your hands tight on your bag, you raced up the stairs, dashing towards your room where you collapsed onto the ground the second the door was closed. Hand against your face you pressed your head against the door and bit your lip. You did not have the luxury of more tears.
Turning you found yourself looking at your own reflection. The combination of your mother and father. The perfect combination. It made you wonder what they saw when they looked at you. Did they see a reflection of themselves? Or just an echo of the person they loathed to love. You knew for a fact they never saw you, just you. It was always tied with one or the other. You could tell because today your mother avoided your eyes, that was because you had your father’s eyes. So today, she must have seen him in you. At least until your hair covered your face-her hair- and she saw herself. Maybe that’s why she softened; you didn’t truly know. They loved you, yes. But only because they saw themselves in you. Because on the good days, they saw each other. Because in a way you were them. What hurt the most though, was not when they saw each other or themselves in you. But the fact that they would never see you. And if your parents, the people who were supposed to love you the most, the people who brought you into this world could never see you, who could?
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It had nearly been a week since you last saw and denied being soulmates with Damian Wayne. In said period you spent your free time dodging Damian and all his friends as well as digging your nose into every soulmate lore, history or origin you could find. While you didn’t want a soulmate, that didn’t mean Da- you soulmate should suffer because of it. So, you had made it your mission to discover if there was any way you could break the bond now. Research had told you that if one party ignored the bond for long enough it would fade for the other. But you didn’t know how long that would take and merely telling Damian you weren’t soulmates tore you up so badly that the mere sight of him sends you into tears. Therefore, you needed to find a way to break the bond. Both for yourself and for Damian.
But as far as you could tell it was impossible. Every single myth, origin and lore of soulmates explained them as the other half of each other, inseparable even incomplete without the other. Part of you hated that thought. That you were incomplete without your soulmate. Because weren’t you a person, able to function live, laugh and love all on your own? Without a soulmate? Only Greek mythology even considers you as whole without your soulmate. Though it does say that they are meant to be together and once they meet they will not want to part. Which did not read well for your plans. In Chinese mythology there was the Red String or Red Thread of Fate
A tangible string, perhaps it was something that could be broken. But from what you read it could not, at least you could not cut it or tear it with your hands. It cannot be broken. It cannot be broken. It can-
Taking a deep breath in, you rubbed your brow. It didn’t really make sense to you that the string or thread or whatever it was couldn’t be broken. It also didn’t make sense that a soulmate was to be bound to you for life. Logically speaking there had to be a loophole. Afterall no one feels their bond until they are thirteen. If you were truly bound for life, you would always feel it. Therefore, there must be a workaround. A way to break the bond or someone- or someone to break it- to remove it.
Since it is not there from the beginning it cannot be like in the Greek, Jewish or Hindu myths. But it might be connected to that string of fate theory. And there was one person who you could think of that might be able to remove or break the bond. The very person who put it there. And if the Chinese myth is right it’s Yuè Xià Lăorén or Yuè Lăo. But as far as you could tell no one was meeting old men at night right before their thirteenth birthday.
It felt like a lost cause. You doubted anyone actually ever seriously tried to break their soulmate bond. No one ever seemed to have your determination or rather stubbornness. Most people would have surely given up by now, but you desperately needed a way. Because despite how much you hated it, how much it made you hate yourself. You couldn’t help but love him. And it terrified you.
Your parents started out in love and now they were-... it’d be difficult to say what they had was anything other than torture. Day in day out fighting. Yelling and screaming. Shouting. Such anger at someone they were supposed to love. It made you wonder, were they really in love? Were they really supposed to be each other's happy ever after? Each other's eternity? If so, what did that mean for you? Did that mean you were doomed to be stuck in the same cycle of love turning to hate? Did that mean that you were going to lose a love you always told you had? Did that mean that you were going to die unloved? It was a fear- your biggest if you were being honest. That the person who was supposed to love you forever, doesn’t really love you. And you could take the chance. Not with what you knew- what you’d seen. There was no way in hell you were ever going to let that happen.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
It was truly unfortunate that you just so happened to have a mother deeply involved in her job. One that resulted in her dragging you to a gala because she needed to show she had the perfect little family. What a joke. A cosmic joke as said gala was happening at none other than Wayne manor. And its host? You guessed it, Bruce Wayne himself with his gaggle of children all in attendance. How did you know this? Well, your eye caught one of the many children. The one you were trying your hardest to avoid.
Damian Mother Fucking Waye.
And it seems you caught his eye as well, because the second he looked in your direction his face lit up. That is until you turned away from him, the next you saw the color drained from his face and he practically stormed out of the room. Though any random bystander would have thought he calmly exited, you knew better. Which was valid considering you had basically spit in his face and said he wasn’t good enough. But it still hurts. Nowadays it seems that everything hurts. Though it was all probably due to the bond you were so determined to reject.
So, to dull the pain you clung to the walls of the ballroom. Heavily nursing the glass of champagne you snagged from an unassuming waiter. It had been probably close to two hours since you arrived and you hadn’t even gotten halfway through it, however you most definitely did not want your parents to see. You were underaged and they wanted to keep their ‘perfect’ image intact. Which is partially the reason why when the people began to make their rounds around the ballroom, you decided to slip out. Though you abandon your drink, you thought wandering around the manor’s halls might help you relax even if it was only a little bit.
Wandering down the darkened corridors you listened to the faint music that trailed after you as you got further and further away from the ballroom. Night encompassing each hallway you turned down it wasn’t long till the sounds of the strings playing was nothing more than a faint humming like the buzz of a fly. Darkness and silence swallowed the area-well near silence. The creaking and settling of the manor seemed to be the only sound. That is until you hear a clattering and an all too familiar voice cursing in another language.
Maybe, it was due to the slight buzz those sips of champagne gave you-maybe it was the exhaustion from the days of fighting off your feelings-or maybe it was because the pull was just too strong; you walked towards the sound and pushed a door open to find a disheveled Damian Wayne sitting in on a couch, a bottle of whisky clutched in his hands, a crystal glass at his feet with half melted ice cubes surrounding it.
He did not seem to notice your presence, so you slowly began to venture closer. Noticing his messy hair, unbuttoned shirt and missing tie. Why did he have to look so damn beautiful? Better hearing his mutterings which were half in English, you pause to listen.
“Seems like Todd was correct,” He mumbled as a hiccup stalled his sentence, “this does improve everything… or perhaps not.”
His body shifted as he hiccuped again, and had you not seen it yourself you would not have believed that the high pitched sound came from him. It almost made you laugh, but you were able to restrain yourself and move closer. This time, it seems Damian heard you as his head snapped in your direction. He blinked a few times almost as if he was trying to get water from his eyes. Head tilting he narrowed his gaze, voice slurring as he asked, “Y/N?”
Sighing you nodded and walked even closer until you stood in front of him. Smiling slightly you waved and took a deep breath in before replying, “Hi Damian.”
He blinked more, brow furrowing as he muttered something you could not catch. Sinking deeper into the couch he gave you a blank look.
“So have you come to inform me of our ‘non-existent bond’? Because I assure you if you do not wish to discuss it with me I will leave it alone.”
You raised an eyebrow and crouched so you could be eye level with him. Meeting his eyes you found yourself once again admiring their beauty.
“Really? Then thank you. I appreciate that.” You paused concern stirring so strongly in your chest you couldn’t help but let the worry take hold, “ But I’m not here for that.”
Damian sat up glaring at you and you did not move, swallowing as he got a bit closer.
“Then what are you here for?”
“I’m worried about you.”
As if it was instinctual, he replied, “And who's fault is that.”
Though he winced afterwards despite you merely sighing at his comment. Resting your chin on your knees you gave him a sad smile and nodded.
“You’re right… I owe you an explanation.”
Heart in your throat you met his eyes again and asked, “Would you let me give you one?”
Silence thrummed between the two of you for a lot longer than you would have liked. His gaze not leaving your face as you took a deep breath in and let it out. You should have done this from the start and at the very least if things go awry he probably won't remember any of this.
His hand gesturing to the place next to him he said, “Sit.”
You snorted and rose to your feet. Then the seat next to him shifted a bit awkwardly before you turned to him. He looked at you out of the corner of his eyes as he took another swig from the bottle. It stung far more than you would ever admit seeing him like this. But- but it would fade. It will fade. He won’t be like this forever. He won’t.
“So… I should probably tell you why I don’t believe in soulmates.”
He grunted in reply, and you weakly laughed, “I-hmm… this is rather hard to explain. You see my parents are soulmates and they-”
You stopped yourself, watching as he stared across the room. Realizing that telling him about this was letting him in. And you could not let him in. Biting your lip you swallowed, squeezing your eyes shut as you once again fought off tears.
“I really don’t like their relationship. I hate it. And and to me it seems everyone with a soulmate is miserable. They aren’t happy. Shouting, arguing, fighting. I will not risk the chance of being like my parents. I refuse.”
He was looking at you now. Brow furrowed and the bottle slipped between his fingers. Your voice cracked and you winced, swallowing as you shrugged.
“I- i am a coward. I refuse to take any chances because I don’t want to get hurt.”
The unspoken ever again hung on your lips as your parents' rage flashed through your mind. Fingers picking at one another you looked down. Unable to keep eye contact without crying.
“I’m scared and- and worried and and I- I’m so sorry. You deserve better and i-”
His hand was over your mouth and you blinked in confusion looking up to see him pinching his nose, bottle still in hand.
“Please silence your excuses.” Damian snapped, “I will not hear anyone talk about you that way.”
Something jolted in you and you froze, tears springing to your eyes, you nodded and he removed his hand. Fingers darting to wipe away tears you began to turn from him. His hand batted your fingers away and cupped one of your cheeks. The other still clutching the whiskey bottle half cupped the other. Damian pressed his forehead against yours and looked you in the eyes.
“I care not that you are a coward. I care not that you are running away. I understand your unease, I understand your logic. But I disagree. I can do no better than you, my soulmate. My other half. I will be here for you and will ease your fears, I will drive your worries away and treat your scars. Emotional or otherwise. I am here for you. I do not know what I have to do for you to understand I am yours. Whole and solely yours. As you are mine. Please- I beg you. Tell me what I must do for you to allow me to love you to my fullest capacity.”
Unable to look away, your heart taking control as that bitter bond turned soft and sweet you began to cry. Tears spilling down your face, you pressed your forehead more against his, words slipping from you before you could even think.
“Be forever mine and let me be forever yours,” You whispered.
Something softened in his eyes, a warmth in them you desperately wanted to see but hoped you never did. He began to lean in a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as his hands shifted, the bottle falling from his grasps as he muttered,
“Was that ever in doubt?”
You tilted your head and his lips pressed against yours. He tasted of bitterness, a darkness that burned so sharply it had you clinging to him. Hands bunched in the cloth of his shirt you found yourself leaning in. His arm wrapped around your waist and as he pulled you in tighter, body shifting as he couldn’t get you close enough. As if there wasn’t a way to hold you where he was near enough. It was as if he wanted to shift-sinking-melting completely and totally into you.
Air, you had no air left, but who needed air? He was here. His touch gentle and constant, reassuring as he pressed against you, gripping you as if he was terrified the second he let you go, you would disappear. And he was right.
You broke apart both gasping for air and his grip loosened. Foreheads pressed against each other he smiled, a smile that sent your already raging heart racing. His hand rested against your cheek, fingers playing with your hair. Squeezing his eyes shut he muttered,
“I love you.”
Your heart skittered and-
Tug, there was a tug a mother fucking tug that made your whole-body ache. One that stole the air you had just barely regained. One that sent shivers up your spine and knocked some sense into you.
You couldn’t breathe. Standing up suddenly, your head spun. Blinking a few times as tears sprang into your eyes you shook your head.
“I’m sorry,” You whispered, “I'm sorry, I’m sorry.”
And with that, you bolted from the room. Faintly hearing Damian calling after you, you rush down the hall brushing past a butler whose name you think is Alfred. He gives you a soft smile and you nod, quickly wiping away the tears. He paused but you kept moving. You had to get out of here. You had to get out of here now. No matter what it took.
Feet nearly tripping over the other you stumbled back into the ballroom. There would be hell to pay later, you knew it. But if you stayed any longer you could get hurt beyond repair. Allowing the feeling of everything that had just occurred loose, you promptly burst into tears as you stumbled towards your stunned parents. Your mother frantically moved to you as your father’s eyes widened and he began speaking to the people before them.
“Y/N, Y/N honey we’re in front of a lot of people. Can this wait?” Your mother whispered as she got closer.
Sniffling you collapsed into your mother’s arms, feeling her embrace again for the first time in nearly a decade. Trembling as sobs escaped you, you were able to get out.
“I want to go home. Please. Please. Let me go home.”
At first, she didn’t reply, then she began moving you towards the door.
“Alright. Alright. Let’s get you home.”
She did not even turn in your father’s direction. After all, they had done what they always do, taken separate cars. Unable to quell the tears, you let your mother guide you out the door before he came to pull you back into fate’s vicious plot.
_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~
Two days, you hadn’t left your room in two days. Not that your parents had noticed, not that anyone really did. You doubted anyone noticed your absences from class. You hoped no one would notice truthfully. You couldn’t bear the thought of seeing his face again. It was driving you crazy. So you locked yourself in your room and hoped-prayed-that these growing feelings would just die. Or maybe you could just die. That sounded like a solid solution as well. It was part of the reason why despite the late hour, despite living in Gotham you had unlocked and opened your window.
There was a sound that awoke you, yanking you from the nightmares that never seemed to cease. And as you opened your eyes to the familiar shapes and silhouettes in your room you found one that did not belong there.
"Who are you?" You whispered to the woman hiding in the shadows, not really caring if acknowledging her would lead her to strike.
After all, who would lurk in the shadows of someone's room while they were sleeping unless you planned to kill them. It was a relief of sorts, that you were more than likely going to die soon. It would help you feel less guilt about Damian, about the situation that occurred a few nights before and the feelings that refused to listen to reason.
Stepping into the moonlight the woman towered before you. Half her face tilted towards the light and you blinked twice almost recognizing it- but- but that couldn't be possible. There was no way you knew this woman. You hardly knew anyone, let alone an murder or assassin who would sneak into sleeping peoples rooms.
"You don't have to worry about that.” She replied in a soft voice, her accent reminding you of something-something…something!
You just couldn’t quite place your finger on what though. It nagged and nipped at your mind, tugging and swirling in faint recognition you could not connect.
The woman took a step forward, her black hair swaying as she crossed her arms, her tone sharp and barbed, “I think who you are is a more important question.”
Her gaze did not leave you and you adjusted your blanket before glancing towards the open window almost blankly saying,
"Nobody special I can assure you."
This caused the woman’s posture to relax a little. She hummed slightly as you crossed your legs and set your elbows on your knees.
"Hmm, really?"
Nodding you rested your face in your hands as you looked at her shadowy figure. She seemed kind, in a way. She was at least talking to you before killing you. That was something was it not?
"Just the byproduct of fate's meddling and destructive hands."
"Ah, your parents are soulmates?' Her stance relaxed even more and you noted how from what you could see her outfit was nothing like the things the Gotham vigilantes wore.
"Unwilling but yes, soulmates."
It was more of a snort than a reply, but it didn’t seem to phase the woman as she rested herself on your desk the moon light allowing you to see the curve of her jaw and shape of her nose. Familiar features that made your gut churn.
"Oh, oh. I see. They did not choose-"
"To have me?” You interrupted with a sigh, shrugging you nodded, “I guess you could say that."
Silence followed and you saw the woman’s eyes narrow. She crossed her arms again, stance tightening.
"... you do not seem the type to share your innermost troubles with a stranger, why are you talking to me?"
Pulling your face from your hands you gave her a shrug as a yawn slipped from your lips, "Well, for one I think you're here to kill me and two... I've needed to tell someone for a while. Why not a perfect stranger?"
"Your parent's fate troubles you that much?" Her voice seemed to begin carrying concern, which only troubled you because it made you think there would be a possibility she wouldn’t kill you.
"They are living proof- hell I am living proof that soulmates shouldn't be forced together…” You paused crossing your arms with a scowl, “and because fate is cruel, I have a soulmate too. Despite how awful they are."
"Your soulmate is awful?"
Something in her tone said she did not believe what she was asking in the slightest. Which was true, yet it still caused that buzzing familiarity to ring just a bit louder.
"n-no, he's not.”
Squeezing your eyes shut you sighed deeply, running your hands along your face, “ He's kind and- and all I could ask for but- but... how do I know he's all I want? How do I know any of this- any of my feelings are mine? How do I know that it isn't fate pulling my strings and wanting me to dance? How do I know he won’t leave? That the bond will only become apparent when we fight and won’t exist otherwise? When the love is gone and only the bond remains? How will I know that I won’t be abandoned again? That I won't be hurt again? That I will gain a love that will last? I won’t. Not to mention even if I didn't like him... I would have to be with him."
"No,” The woman scoffed, “you wouldn't, dear."
"Yes, I would. My parents- they tried and now- now I live in the shambles of a home. They are together because of that damned bond even though they hate each other." You were crying now, of course you were, "fate does not like to be ignored and I don't like to be told what to do."
Angrily grabbing a tissue you blew your nose, faintly hearing the woman laugh. From what you could see, she had a look in her eyes that seemed soft- understanding. One you most certainly did not expect your killer to have.
"Oh my, really?" She mumbled head turned towards the window.
"Yes! I'd rather live in a hell I have control of, a hell I made rather than one fate forced upon me. If- if I ignore it enough... I heard it will fade for him, I- I will still feel it but- but because he tried, he will be spared. He'll have a chance- one I never had. And though- though I can't truly tell if these feelings are mine, it's all I want. I love him. I love him”
You stopped yourself trembling as you said it yet again, “I love him.”
Nodding you continued on, “and… I want him to be happy without me. Because- because I won't give way to fate, not even for him."
"Hmmm. I have a question for you.”
“Yes?” You pulled the tissue box closer to you sure more tears would come.
“Do you really want to die?”
“Excuse me?”
The woman shrugged, waving a hand, “It’s just, it hardly seems to me that you want to die. Rather it seems like you want to live.”
"What- I, I’m sorry I-." You were at a loss for words.
She was smiling as she replied with a shrug, “You have told me of a cause you wish to live for, no? To fight against the soulmate bond. While I personally disagree with your choice, I hardly think dying will do anything other than let the bond win.”
“Wha-... I-,” You sputtered, mainly because what she said made sense.
It made an insane amount of sense. So much so that it had your head spinning. Why exactly did you think dying was the best option? You may not have the best life, but it was yours right?
“I’m-I’m sorry.” The whisper escaped not entirely directed at the woman but rather just as a declaration in general.
The tears on your face felt silly and you blew your nose again as the woman sighed. Causing silence to spin about the room until she remarked,
"I believe I should be the one apologizing."
You laughed, wiping the tears from your face, "Why?"
"Because I'm not here to kill you."
Something in you skipped a beat and you shook your head. Of course she isn’t. Who would want you dead after all. You hadn’t done anything that would cause a reason to be killed.
"Oh darn." You snorted, rubbing the back of your hand across your face, "Here I am looking like a fool asking for something I don’t even want from someone who can’t even give it to me. Fate is cruel… Though life does seem crueler."
"Yes," She muttered looking over her shoulder at the window, "indeed it is."
A figure loomed where she looked, a familiar figure in green, yellow and red. The woman smiled at you again and she moved towards him patting him on the shoulder before climbing out the window.
“It was nice to meet you Y/N.”
Blinking in confusion you latched onto the vigilante who was now looming in between your room and the outside, "Robin? What are you doing here?"
He sighed, the woman disappearing as he rested on the window frame, "I am afraid it is quite difficult for me to explain at the moment."
"Wha-.... wait-wait."
In the silence of the night, with the slight breeze trailing in from the window where Robin was perched, you felt a tug. A heart wrenching tug you had felt just the other night. A tug that sent aches all over and made your throat tighten.
"...you're-oh."
Biting, you lip you fought off tears as he slowly entered your room. Breathing deeply, you began picking at your fingers before you finally found the courage to look him in the eyes.
He was right in front of you as tears spilled down your cheeks and through sharp stabs of pain you tightly smiled remarking,
"...hi Damian."
He was silent and you bit down harder, weakly you took in a breath. His voice was soft in reply,
"Y/N... are you- are you alright?"
You didn't know what to say. After all, he must have heard something... then again, he might not have but-
"How-" Your voice cracked as you avoided looking at him despite him being so close, but it was hard as you could feel the heat from his body, "how much... How much did you hear?"
His was quiet and you squeezed your eyes shut, heart dropping as you tasted blood. Pain dancing across your lips and air fighting to leave you. A tiny sob escaped you and you took a ragged breath in as you opened your eyes facing him. Rob-no Damian raised a hand and brushed it against your face before he leaned in. His lips almost pressed against your ear he said,
"I heard everything."
Tag List: @andromedaj2003 @thomasbeloved @instabull @zvtanna @daemonnix96 @neon-scenery @ssak-i @achromaticerebus @1lellykins @hyperfixiation-station @legendarylearner18
#batboys#y/n#batfam#reader#damian wayne#batboys x y/n#damian wayne x reader#technically part 2#i just wanted to give it a new name#redhead batgal#Robin#soulmates!au#reblog#batboy#reader x Damian Wayne#Damian Wayne x y/n#still feel evil#just super stressed#like a Stressy evil 🙃
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Type: One-Shot (First part- Drabble) {If you want things to make sense you probably should read it, the first part, 😁😁😁}
Pairing: Fem! Student! and Soulmate! Reader x Damian Wayne/Robin
AU: Soulmate! Reader
Content: Swearing, angst, teenage stupidity, aged up kiddos 16/17, technical talk about soulmates, lowkey frustrations, some much angst yall, some fluff, mythology, toxic parents, and soul crushing
Word Count: 7,233
(P.S: Okay so this is going to be continuing from the I Feel a Sin Coming On drabble, I've been getting a few comments on it asking for a part two and someone sent in a request for a Shy and Smart Student! Reader with Damian and let's just say the gears in my head started turning. Anyways this could go on if you guys want it to, but it could also end like this! It will break you. I hope you all enjoy! :D)
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While, unfortunately, it's true the somewhat cruel existence of soul mates was around and kicking, love- true love was still there. Or at least it was believed to be there. It supposedly thrived even more for some reason. Some speculated that it was because there was a standing of everyone deserving love. Whether they were good or bad or in-between, they got someone who would love them for the rest of their life regardless of all the mistakes they made or continue to make. Others said it was because the universe deemed people good enough to have someone for the rest of their lives. Which seems a little close minded for a society in which everyone has a soulmate. But maybe that was because of the belief that if things didn’t work out with your soulmate- if you didn’t love them as you should or didn’t get the love you thought you deserved- it was because you weren’t good enough. Weren’t good enough to get the right kind of love. But in the end soulmates do exist. They exist and are for everyone. For each person you pass on the road, there is someone out there for them. Just as there's someone out there for you.
But the daunting notion that you have to be the right kind of good to get your perfect love chilled you to the bone. After all, if it wasn’t perfect what did that say about you? Because in the end weren’t they made for you? Maybe that’s why some still believed in true love, that it was real. Both because of and not because of soulmates. Rather because of the concept. Someone made just for you. Even if that person was flawed-if you are flawed, just as they were made for you, you were made for them. But sometimes, what is made for you can harm you a lot more than what’s not.
It was why you believed that the reason true love might still exist was actually because some people fell for their soulmate before they realized they were fated to be. Before that dreaded bond-that agonizing pull kicked, of their own free will they fell in love. Because they didn't have to suffer through the pull of a bond they never wanted, these people were blissfully ignorant of what forced love was like. They did not know the horrors of those forced to stay with someone their heart loved but mind did not. And despite all your animosity towards soulmates, despite your fear and hatred, what made this all the worse-all the more ironic-was that you were technically one of those people.
Before you even knew what a soulmate was to you-before you were old enough to recognize the pull, to feel, it’s dark and fervent demand for attention-you fell for him. For his laugh: in the way he tilted his chin back as if trying to suppress its joyous sound and his smile: in the way the corners of his would curve showing a slight dimple in his left cheek and revealing the softness his eyes could have. For his kindness: in the way he disregarded what others said and lived his life freely as himself despite the demand of society for him to be like the rest-to be normal. For his mortality: in the way he would never allow bullies to pick on others around him, even if he thought they needed to toughen up. But most importantly for the way he tried each and every single day to learn more and be better even if you’re the only one who noticed. For the way he seemed to be all what you dreamed, something that should have caused you suspicion but instead drew you in.
That is until your 13th birthday and, much like many before you, you felt the tug of that dreaded bond.
You were six when you decided to loathe soulmates. Six when you swore on your very soul- your existence that you would never love your soulmate. You swore to live in misery of your own making rather than fates. No matter who they were, you would hate them.
But fate... well fate hated to be tested. So, fate did the worst thing it could. It made you fall for the one person you swore never to.
Your soulmate.
Your very own soulmate who seemed like the only light in the dark and suddenly you began questioning whether or not these feelings- these emotions you had thought were your own and genuine- were actually yours. Or if they were just fate pulling its strings and making you dance and dance and dance.
To say you were upset was an understatement and... well let's just say fate might be prideful, but you were twice as petty.
At age thirteen you shoved the emotions you had so dearly cherished so deep in your chest they seemed like nothing more than echoes of naive mind. You distanced yourself from him and only let yourself feel in your loneliest of moments.
Four years, it had nearly been four years since you had begun your battle against fate. And- and and fate was getting stronger... as you have been told. The older you get- the closer you are to your soulmate, the stronger the bond is.
Those moments... those lonely moments happened more often, and those stupid annoying emotions rose up with the beating of your traitorous heart.
Which is exactly how you ended up in the last place you ever wanted to be. Face to face with your soulmate... with them recognizing you and what you were to them.
"I'm your soulmate." Damian Fucking Wayne said his eyes locked on you as you felt your heart jump to your throat and all the color drain from your face.
"Fucking shit, " You whispered, unable to break his gaze.
Shaking-hand shaking and heart pounding at your rib cage demanding you acknowledge him-that you give in and tell him he’s right. That you are soulmates and let fate drive you. But there was something fate and your treasonous heart seemed to forget. You were one petty bitch.
Weakly smiling you let out a nervous laugh and turned, avoiding eye contact. Eyes darting around they finally settled on your bare wrist as your other hand scrambled to gather your things against your trembling chest.
"Oh- my,” Your voice cracked as you shoved your things into your bag, “would you look at the time! I need to get going."
Fingers racing over the items in your bag you went to zip it close and make your escape when your eyes rested on your final item. The book you were reading earlier. Which just so happened (damn you fate) to be right in front of Damian. Eyes raising to him, gazes latching for just a moment you did the one thing you should not. You looked down, down and back at your book before making the stupidly impulsive decision to lunge for it. Your fingers brushed the cover, nails barely scraping lines into it when a hand-warm and firm clasped around your wrist. Pulling you back towards the table in a quick tug that caused your stomach to slam against the tables side. Wincing you stabbed your nails into your palm, not daring to look up. You had fallen for his trap, the oh so obvious trap you could have avoided had you just not looked at him.
"I'm your soulmate," He said again, his voice clear and stanch as he gently pulled on your arm, clearly trying to get you to meet his eyes, "and you are mine."
Soulmate- God why did you have to care about him. Why- why-did it have to be him? Why-
why couldn’t fate just leave you alone?
Something about the tone of his voice made your heart shatter. It was almost desperate, but you couldn’t-you couldn’t allow yourself to be weak. After all, you would not let fate win. Petty- you were so violently petty and prideful- oh even fate knew this yet- it still tried... this- you wouldn't let this stand. You could-no would not allow fate to get away with even attempting this. Taking a breath in-a deep breath- you raised your chin. Steadying your mind with the thoughts of your parents, of how you needed to be around them. Calm, poised, emotionless. Ignoring the well of tears in your throat and the pressure behind your eyes you finally met his gaze.
Green. All you could see was those beautiful green eyes, wide and desperate. Yearning-yearning for you to give a reply. But the one you were about to give would only hurt those eyes, regardless, it needed to be done. One pain- one moment or time of pain and sorrow was far better than a life of them.
Slowly letting out the breaths you previously let in you tilted your head, feeling his grip on your wrist lightening.
“I do not have a soulmate," You began instantly seeing the surprise on his face-the confusion, so you continued, “I won’t have one. Not you. Not anyone. You see, I don't believe in soulmates. So, I do believe you are mistaken.”
His grip dropped but seeing the broken look on his face made your facade crumble in an instant as your heart screamed to stop. To comfort him. To take back your words and press yourself into his arms. But you were smarter than that, even if you weren’t strong enough to hide the tears anymore. Throat bobbing, you felt your mouth tremble as your eyes stung and something warm began spilling down your cheeks.
Pulling yourself away from him, you smiled a bitter smile, not even daring to acknowledge the tears you were shedding. Head high, you turned.
Voice cracking, you bid farewell, “Now, if you excuse me, I have to get going.”
Feet scrambling you nearly dashed out the door, leaving the book that got you into this mess behind. After all, it was now only going to hold harish and painful memories.
As soon as your feet touched the gravel, you ran. Tears freely spilled down your cheeks and you sobbed and panted. Mind trying it’s best to soothe the heart that had just torn itself into pieces. But there was nothing it could do. There was nothing you could do but cry and run. Run away from him. From all the pain you had and were going to feel. It was hell, yes. But at least it was yours. At least you knew how and why it had happened, at least you knew what was to come. At least you were still you right?
By the time you had finally calmed your tears-though your heart was still howling, you had made it home. Wiping your tears you took a deep breath in and held it, hoping it would steady your mind and breathing enough to face what was about to come. You hesitated for a moment, then let the breath out wiped your face again and walked up to the door. It was then you heard the shouting. The rage filled voices cursing at each other, dishes and shoes flying, shattering and knocking things about.
Hand trembling you pushed down the doorknob and walked in. The barrage of insults and dissonance of things being thrown slammed into you. Your feet shuffled across the floor as you saw the shadows in the kitchen, too caught up in their most recent argument to even acknowledge your existence-that is until they came into view.
“God you never listen!” Your father roared
“Better than sitting on my ass doing nothing all day!” Your mother countered
Quivering you slowly moved towards the staircase as their fight pushed into the living room. Your father’s hands waved as your mother rolled her eyes at him, arms crossed.
“Really that’s how you’re gonna be?”
“Yeah it is.”
“Fine then, I’ll just take this lazy ass of mine and leave!”
“GOOD!”
With that your father turned and stormed past you straight out the door, slamming it behind him. You flinched and turned to see your mother staring at you.
“Ugh! I can’t believe him,” She hissed before she shook her head, scowling, “absentee father, sitting on his ass all day while I make the money and take care of the needless kid. God, pregnant at 18- now married to that loser! My life went down the drain. If only it weren't for you...”
Those words stabbed at your heart, sinking in their little daggers in the spots they knew best. You knew she didn’t mean for you to hear them, but you always did. It wasn’t the first time you had heard things like this, but it did seem to hurt all the more due to what happened earlier this afternoon. Sniffing slightly, you lowered your head and your voice cracking as you had to fight off more tears whimpered,
“I’m sorry mom.”
As if a flip switched your mom’s brown furrowed and scowl dropped. She looked you over, concern in her eyes and she took a step forward.
“Are you okay honey? You don’t sound too good.”
Raising your head you tightly smiled and nodded, “Of course, just stressed cuz of school. I’ve got some exams coming up and it’s causing my emotions to be all over the place.”
She nodded eyes raving over you, resentment heavy in them as she plopped onto the couch with sigh, “Okay, you better be doing good in school alright? Don't want you to end up like that louse of man your father is.”
You nodded again, “Of course! Actually I was about to go and study.”
“Good, you do that.” She replied as she picked up the remote and flipped on the T.V.
You paused, for just a moment watching her as the resentment began to slide from her eyes, her face softening. She was so pretty, yet harsh lines from constant scowls and frowns bore their way onto her cheeks. Line surrounded her eyes from the tears and sleepless nights. And it was all because of you. Turning, your hands tight on your bag, you raced up the stairs, dashing towards your room where you collapsed onto the ground the second the door was closed. Hand against your face you pressed your head against the door and bit your lip. You did not have the luxury of more tears.
Turning you found yourself looking at your own reflection. The combination of your mother and father. The perfect combination. It made you wonder what they saw when they looked at you. Did they see a reflection of themselves? Or just an echo of the person they loathed to love. You knew for a fact they never saw you, just you. It was always tied with one or the other. You could tell because today your mother avoided your eyes, that was because you had your father’s eyes. So today, she must have seen him in you. At least until your hair covered your face-her hair- and she saw herself. Maybe that’s why she softened; you didn’t truly know. They loved you, yes. But only because they saw themselves in you. Because on the good days, they saw each other. Because in a way you were them. What hurt the most though, was not when they saw each other or themselves in you. But the fact that they would never see you. And if your parents, the people who were supposed to love you the most, the people who brought you into this world could never see you, who could?
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It had nearly been a week since you last saw and denied being soulmates with Damian Wayne. In said period you spent your free time dodging Damian and all his friends as well as digging your nose into every soulmate lore, history or origin you could find. While you didn’t want a soulmate, that didn’t mean Da- you soulmate should suffer because of it. So, you had made it your mission to discover if there was any way you could break the bond now. Research had told you that if one party ignored the bond for long enough it would fade for the other. But you didn’t know how long that would take and merely telling Damian you weren’t soulmates tore you up so badly that the mere sight of him sends you into tears. Therefore, you needed to find a way to break the bond. Both for yourself and for Damian.
But as far as you could tell it was impossible. Every single myth, origin and lore of soulmates explained them as the other half of each other, inseparable even incomplete without the other. Part of you hated that thought. That you were incomplete without your soulmate. Because weren’t you a person, able to function live, laugh and love all on your own? Without a soulmate? Only Greek mythology even considers you as whole without your soulmate. Though it does say that they are meant to be together and once they meet they will not want to part. Which did not read well for your plans. In Chinese mythology there was the Red String or Red Thread of Fate
A tangible string, perhaps it was something that could be broken. But from what you read it could not, at least you could not cut it or tear it with your hands. It cannot be broken. It cannot be broken. It can-
Taking a deep breath in, you rubbed your brow. It didn’t really make sense to you that the string or thread or whatever it was couldn’t be broken. It also didn’t make sense that a soulmate was to be bound to you for life. Logically speaking there had to be a loophole. Afterall no one feels their bond until they are thirteen. If you were truly bound for life, you would always feel it. Therefore, there must be a workaround. A way to break the bond or someone- or someone to break it- to remove it.
Since it is not there from the beginning it cannot be like in the Greek, Jewish or Hindu myths. But it might be connected to that string of fate theory. And there was one person who you could think of that might be able to remove or break the bond. The very person who put it there. And if the Chinese myth is right it’s Yuè Xià Lăorén or Yuè Lăo. But as far as you could tell no one was meeting old men at night right before their thirteenth birthday.
It felt like a lost cause. You doubted anyone actually ever seriously tried to break their soulmate bond. No one ever seemed to have your determination or rather stubbornness. Most people would have surely given up by now, but you desperately needed a way. Because despite how much you hated it, how much it made you hate yourself. You couldn’t help but love him. And it terrified you.
Your parents started out in love and now they were-... it’d be difficult to say what they had was anything other than torture. Day in day out fighting. Yelling and screaming. Shouting. Such anger at someone they were supposed to love. It made you wonder, were they really in love? Were they really supposed to be each other's happy ever after? Each other's eternity? If so, what did that mean for you? Did that mean you were doomed to be stuck in the same cycle of love turning to hate? Did that mean that you were going to lose a love you always told you had? Did that mean that you were going to die unloved? It was a fear- your biggest if you were being honest. That the person who was supposed to love you forever, doesn’t really love you. And you could take the chance. Not with what you knew- what you’d seen. There was no way in hell you were ever going to let that happen.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
It was truly unfortunate that you just so happened to have a mother deeply involved in her job. One that resulted in her dragging you to a gala because she needed to show she had the perfect little family. What a joke. A cosmic joke as said gala was happening at none other than Wayne manor. And its host? You guessed it, Bruce Wayne himself with his gaggle of children all in attendance. How did you know this? Well, your eye caught one of the many children. The one you were trying your hardest to avoid.
Damian Mother Fucking Waye.
And it seems you caught his eye as well, because the second he looked in your direction his face lit up. That is until you turned away from him, the next you saw the color drained from his face and he practically stormed out of the room. Though any random bystander would have thought he calmly exited, you knew better. Which was valid considering you had basically spit in his face and said he wasn’t good enough. But it still hurts. Nowadays it seems that everything hurts. Though it was all probably due to the bond you were so determined to reject.
So, to dull the pain you clung to the walls of the ballroom. Heavily nursing the glass of champagne you snagged from an unassuming waiter. It had been probably close to two hours since you arrived and you hadn’t even gotten halfway through it, however you most definitely did not want your parents to see. You were underaged and they wanted to keep their ‘perfect’ image intact. Which is partially the reason why when the people began to make their rounds around the ballroom, you decided to slip out. Though you abandon your drink, you thought wandering around the manor’s halls might help you relax even if it was only a little bit.
Wandering down the darkened corridors you listened to the faint music that trailed after you as you got further and further away from the ballroom. Night encompassing each hallway you turned down it wasn’t long till the sounds of the strings playing was nothing more than a faint humming like the buzz of a fly. Darkness and silence swallowed the area-well near silence. The creaking and settling of the manor seemed to be the only sound. That is until you hear a clattering and an all too familiar voice cursing in another language.
Maybe, it was due to the slight buzz those sips of champagne gave you-maybe it was the exhaustion from the days of fighting off your feelings-or maybe it was because the pull was just too strong; you walked towards the sound and pushed a door open to find a disheveled Damian Wayne sitting in on a couch, a bottle of whisky clutched in his hands, a crystal glass at his feet with half melted ice cubes surrounding it.
He did not seem to notice your presence, so you slowly began to venture closer. Noticing his messy hair, unbuttoned shirt and missing tie. Why did he have to look so damn beautiful? Better hearing his mutterings which were half in English, you pause to listen.
“Seems like Todd was correct,” He mumbled as a hiccup stalled his sentence, “this does improve everything… or perhaps not.”
His body shifted as he hiccuped again, and had you not seen it yourself you would not have believed that the high pitched sound came from him. It almost made you laugh, but you were able to restrain yourself and move closer. This time, it seems Damian heard you as his head snapped in your direction. He blinked a few times almost as if he was trying to get water from his eyes. Head tilting he narrowed his gaze, voice slurring as he asked, “Y/N?”
Sighing you nodded and walked even closer until you stood in front of him. Smiling slightly you waved and took a deep breath in before replying, “Hi Damian.”
He blinked more, brow furrowing as he muttered something you could not catch. Sinking deeper into the couch he gave you a blank look.
“So have you come to inform me of our ‘non-existent bond’? Because I assure you if you do not wish to discuss it with me I will leave it alone.”
You raised an eyebrow and crouched so you could be eye level with him. Meeting his eyes you found yourself once again admiring their beauty.
“Really? Then thank you. I appreciate that.” You paused concern stirring so strongly in your chest you couldn’t help but let the worry take hold, “ But I’m not here for that.”
Damian sat up glaring at you and you did not move, swallowing as he got a bit closer.
“Then what are you here for?”
“I’m worried about you.”
As if it was instinctual, he replied, “And who's fault is that.”
Though he winced afterwards despite you merely sighing at his comment. Resting your chin on your knees you gave him a sad smile and nodded.
“You’re right… I owe you an explanation.”
Heart in your throat you met his eyes again and asked, “Would you let me give you one?”
Silence thrummed between the two of you for a lot longer than you would have liked. His gaze not leaving your face as you took a deep breath in and let it out. You should have done this from the start and at the very least if things go awry he probably won't remember any of this.
His hand gesturing to the place next to him he said, “Sit.”
You snorted and rose to your feet. Then the seat next to him shifted a bit awkwardly before you turned to him. He looked at you out of the corner of his eyes as he took another swig from the bottle. It stung far more than you would ever admit seeing him like this. But- but it would fade. It will fade. He won’t be like this forever. He won’t.
“So… I should probably tell you why I don’t believe in soulmates.”
He grunted in reply, and you weakly laughed, “I-hmm… this is rather hard to explain. You see my parents are soulmates and they-”
You stopped yourself, watching as he stared across the room. Realizing that telling him about this was letting him in. And you could not let him in. Biting your lip you swallowed, squeezing your eyes shut as you once again fought off tears.
“I really don’t like their relationship. I hate it. And and to me it seems everyone with a soulmate is miserable. They aren’t happy. Shouting, arguing, fighting. I will not risk the chance of being like my parents. I refuse.”
He was looking at you now. Brow furrowed and the bottle slipped between his fingers. Your voice cracked and you winced, swallowing as you shrugged.
“I- i am a coward. I refuse to take any chances because I don’t want to get hurt.”
The unspoken ever again hung on your lips as your parents' rage flashed through your mind. Fingers picking at one another you looked down. Unable to keep eye contact without crying.
“I’m scared and- and worried and and I- I’m so sorry. You deserve better and i-”
His hand was over your mouth and you blinked in confusion looking up to see him pinching his nose, bottle still in hand.
“Please silence your excuses.” Damian snapped, “I will not hear anyone talk about you that way.”
Something jolted in you and you froze, tears springing to your eyes, you nodded and he removed his hand. Fingers darting to wipe away tears you began to turn from him. His hand batted your fingers away and cupped one of your cheeks. The other still clutching the whiskey bottle half cupped the other. Damian pressed his forehead against yours and looked you in the eyes.
“I care not that you are a coward. I care not that you are running away. I understand your unease, I understand your logic. But I disagree. I can do no better than you, my soulmate. My other half. I will be here for you and will ease your fears, I will drive your worries away and treat your scars. Emotional or otherwise. I am here for you. I do not know what I have to do for you to understand I am yours. Whole and solely yours. As you are mine. Please- I beg you. Tell me what I must do for you to allow me to love you to my fullest capacity.”
Unable to look away, your heart taking control as that bitter bond turned soft and sweet you began to cry. Tears spilling down your face, you pressed your forehead more against his, words slipping from you before you could even think.
“Be forever mine and let me be forever yours,” You whispered.
Something softened in his eyes, a warmth in them you desperately wanted to see but hoped you never did. He began to lean in a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as his hands shifted, the bottle falling from his grasps as he muttered,
“Was that ever in doubt?”
You tilted your head and his lips pressed against yours. He tasted of bitterness, a darkness that burned so sharply it had you clinging to him. Hands bunched in the cloth of his shirt you found yourself leaning in. His arm wrapped around your waist and as he pulled you in tighter, body shifting as he couldn’t get you close enough. As if there wasn’t a way to hold you where he was near enough. It was as if he wanted to shift-sinking-melting completely and totally into you.
Air, you had no air left, but who needed air? He was here. His touch gentle and constant, reassuring as he pressed against you, gripping you as if he was terrified the second he let you go, you would disappear. And he was right.
You broke apart both gasping for air and his grip loosened. Foreheads pressed against each other he smiled, a smile that sent your already raging heart racing. His hand rested against your cheek, fingers playing with your hair. Squeezing his eyes shut he muttered,
“I love you.”
Your heart skittered and-
Tug, there was a tug a mother fucking tug that made your whole-body ache. One that stole the air you had just barely regained. One that sent shivers up your spine and knocked some sense into you.
You couldn’t breathe. Standing up suddenly, your head spun. Blinking a few times as tears sprang into your eyes you shook your head.
“I’m sorry,” You whispered, “I'm sorry, I’m sorry.”
And with that, you bolted from the room. Faintly hearing Damian calling after you, you rush down the hall brushing past a butler whose name you think is Alfred. He gives you a soft smile and you nod, quickly wiping away the tears. He paused but you kept moving. You had to get out of here. You had to get out of here now. No matter what it took.
Feet nearly tripping over the other you stumbled back into the ballroom. There would be hell to pay later, you knew it. But if you stayed any longer you could get hurt beyond repair. Allowing the feeling of everything that had just occurred loose, you promptly burst into tears as you stumbled towards your stunned parents. Your mother frantically moved to you as your father’s eyes widened and he began speaking to the people before them.
“Y/N, Y/N honey we’re in front of a lot of people. Can this wait?” Your mother whispered as she got closer.
Sniffling you collapsed into your mother’s arms, feeling her embrace again for the first time in nearly a decade. Trembling as sobs escaped you, you were able to get out.
“I want to go home. Please. Please. Let me go home.”
At first, she didn’t reply, then she began moving you towards the door.
“Alright. Alright. Let’s get you home.”
She did not even turn in your father’s direction. After all, they had done what they always do, taken separate cars. Unable to quell the tears, you let your mother guide you out the door before he came to pull you back into fate’s vicious plot.
_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~
Two days, you hadn’t left your room in two days. Not that your parents had noticed, not that anyone really did. You doubted anyone noticed your absences from class. You hoped no one would notice truthfully. You couldn’t bear the thought of seeing his face again. It was driving you crazy. So you locked yourself in your room and hoped-prayed-that these growing feelings would just die. Or maybe you could just die. That sounded like a solid solution as well. It was part of the reason why despite the late hour, despite living in Gotham you had unlocked and opened your window.
There was a sound that awoke you, yanking you from the nightmares that never seemed to cease. And as you opened your eyes to the familiar shapes and silhouettes in your room you found one that did not belong there.
"Who are you?" You whispered to the woman hiding in the shadows, not really caring if acknowledging her would lead her to strike.
After all, who would lurk in the shadows of someone's room while they were sleeping unless you planned to kill them. It was a relief of sorts, that you were more than likely going to die soon. It would help you feel less guilt about Damian, about the situation that occurred a few nights before and the feelings that refused to listen to reason.
Stepping into the moonlight the woman towered before you. Half her face tilted towards the light and you blinked twice almost recognizing it- but- but that couldn't be possible. There was no way you knew this woman. You hardly knew anyone, let alone an murder or assassin who would sneak into sleeping peoples rooms.
"You don't have to worry about that.” She replied in a soft voice, her accent reminding you of something-something…something!
You just couldn’t quite place your finger on what though. It nagged and nipped at your mind, tugging and swirling in faint recognition you could not connect.
The woman took a step forward, her black hair swaying as she crossed her arms, her tone sharp and barbed, “I think who you are is a more important question.”
Her gaze did not leave you and you adjusted your blanket before glancing towards the open window almost blankly saying,
"Nobody special I can assure you."
This caused the woman’s posture to relax a little. She hummed slightly as you crossed your legs and set your elbows on your knees.
"Hmm, really?"
Nodding you rested your face in your hands as you looked at her shadowy figure. She seemed kind, in a way. She was at least talking to you before killing you. That was something was it not?
"Just the byproduct of fate's meddling and destructive hands."
"Ah, your parents are soulmates?' Her stance relaxed even more and you noted how from what you could see her outfit was nothing like the things the Gotham vigilantes wore.
"Unwilling but yes, soulmates."
It was more of a snort than a reply, but it didn’t seem to phase the woman as she rested herself on your desk the moon light allowing you to see the curve of her jaw and shape of her nose. Familiar features that made your gut churn.
"Oh, oh. I see. They did not choose-"
"To have me?” You interrupted with a sigh, shrugging you nodded, “I guess you could say that."
Silence followed and you saw the woman’s eyes narrow. She crossed her arms again, stance tightening.
"... you do not seem the type to share your innermost troubles with a stranger, why are you talking to me?"
Pulling your face from your hands you gave her a shrug as a yawn slipped from your lips, "Well, for one I think you're here to kill me and two... I've needed to tell someone for a while. Why not a perfect stranger?"
"Your parent's fate troubles you that much?" Her voice seemed to begin carrying concern, which only troubled you because it made you think there would be a possibility she wouldn’t kill you.
"They are living proof- hell I am living proof that soulmates shouldn't be forced together…” You paused crossing your arms with a scowl, “and because fate is cruel, I have a soulmate too. Despite how awful they are."
"Your soulmate is awful?"
Something in her tone said she did not believe what she was asking in the slightest. Which was true, yet it still caused that buzzing familiarity to ring just a bit louder.
"n-no, he's not.”
Squeezing your eyes shut you sighed deeply, running your hands along your face, “ He's kind and- and all I could ask for but- but... how do I know he's all I want? How do I know any of this- any of my feelings are mine? How do I know that it isn't fate pulling my strings and wanting me to dance? How do I know he won’t leave? That the bond will only become apparent when we fight and won’t exist otherwise? When the love is gone and only the bond remains? How will I know that I won’t be abandoned again? That I won't be hurt again? That I will gain a love that will last? I won’t. Not to mention even if I didn't like him... I would have to be with him."
"No,” The woman scoffed, “you wouldn't, dear."
"Yes, I would. My parents- they tried and now- now I live in the shambles of a home. They are together because of that damned bond even though they hate each other." You were crying now, of course you were, "fate does not like to be ignored and I don't like to be told what to do."
Angrily grabbing a tissue you blew your nose, faintly hearing the woman laugh. From what you could see, she had a look in her eyes that seemed soft- understanding. One you most certainly did not expect your killer to have.
"Oh my, really?" She mumbled head turned towards the window.
"Yes! I'd rather live in a hell I have control of, a hell I made rather than one fate forced upon me. If- if I ignore it enough... I heard it will fade for him, I- I will still feel it but- but because he tried, he will be spared. He'll have a chance- one I never had. And though- though I can't truly tell if these feelings are mine, it's all I want. I love him. I love him”
You stopped yourself trembling as you said it yet again, “I love him.”
Nodding you continued on, “and… I want him to be happy without me. Because- because I won't give way to fate, not even for him."
"Hmmm. I have a question for you.”
“Yes?” You pulled the tissue box closer to you sure more tears would come.
“Do you really want to die?”
“Excuse me?”
The woman shrugged, waving a hand, “It’s just, it hardly seems to me that you want to die. Rather it seems like you want to live.”
"What- I, I’m sorry I-." You were at a loss for words.
She was smiling as she replied with a shrug, “You have told me of a cause you wish to live for, no? To fight against the soulmate bond. While I personally disagree with your choice, I hardly think dying will do anything other than let the bond win.”
“Wha-... I-,” You sputtered, mainly because what she said made sense.
It made an insane amount of sense. So much so that it had your head spinning. Why exactly did you think dying was the best option? You may not have the best life, but it was yours right?
“I’m-I’m sorry.” The whisper escaped not entirely directed at the woman but rather just as a declaration in general.
The tears on your face felt silly and you blew your nose again as the woman sighed. Causing silence to spin about the room until she remarked,
"I believe I should be the one apologizing."
You laughed, wiping the tears from your face, "Why?"
"Because I'm not here to kill you."
Something in you skipped a beat and you shook your head. Of course she isn’t. Who would want you dead after all. You hadn’t done anything that would cause a reason to be killed.
"Oh darn." You snorted, rubbing the back of your hand across your face, "Here I am looking like a fool asking for something I don’t even want from someone who can’t even give it to me. Fate is cruel… Though life does seem crueler."
"Yes," She muttered looking over her shoulder at the window, "indeed it is."
A figure loomed where she looked, a familiar figure in green, yellow and red. The woman smiled at you again and she moved towards him patting him on the shoulder before climbing out the window.
“It was nice to meet you Y/N.”
Blinking in confusion you latched onto the vigilante who was now looming in between your room and the outside, "Robin? What are you doing here?"
He sighed, the woman disappearing as he rested on the window frame, "I am afraid it is quite difficult for me to explain at the moment."
"Wha-.... wait-wait."
In the silence of the night, with the slight breeze trailing in from the window where Robin was perched, you felt a tug. A heart wrenching tug you had felt just the other night. A tug that sent aches all over and made your throat tighten.
"...you're-oh."
Biting, you lip you fought off tears as he slowly entered your room. Breathing deeply, you began picking at your fingers before you finally found the courage to look him in the eyes.
He was right in front of you as tears spilled down your cheeks and through sharp stabs of pain you tightly smiled remarking,
"...hi Damian."
He was silent and you bit down harder, weakly you took in a breath. His voice was soft in reply,
"Y/N... are you- are you alright?"
You didn't know what to say. After all, he must have heard something... then again, he might not have but-
"How-" Your voice cracked as you avoided looking at him despite him being so close, but it was hard as you could feel the heat from his body, "how much... How much did you hear?"
His was quiet and you squeezed your eyes shut, heart dropping as you tasted blood. Pain dancing across your lips and air fighting to leave you. A tiny sob escaped you and you took a ragged breath in as you opened your eyes facing him. Rob-no Damian raised a hand and brushed it against your face before he leaned in. His lips almost pressed against your ear he said,
"I heard everything."
Tag List: @andromedaj2003 @thomasbeloved @instabull @zvtanna @daemonnix96 @neon-scenery @ssak-i @achromaticerebus @1lellykins @hyperfixiation-station @legendarylearner18
#batboys#y/n#batfam#reader#damian wayne#batboys x y/n#damian wayne x reader#technically part 2#i just wanted to give it a new name#feeling evil evil evil#deal with it <3#Enjoy the suffering yall :D#robin x reader#robin#soulmates! au#soulmate!reader#y/n x damian wayne#damian wayne x y/n#reader x damian wayne#requests#robin x y/n#the angst is so strong#my brain went *doopdeedoop* everyone needs to cry#hehehehehehehehehe#very very proud if i do say so myself#writing upgrade#baby fluff#technical cliff hanger#I hope u get mad at me#itd make my day
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Got possessed by the demon of writing. Changed somethings from the sneak peek so here's the new version. The full thing should be coming out soon. I just need my proofreaders to be available😂😂😂.
Anyways enjoy little angst gremlins, enjoy.
Sneak Peek of I'm With You

This is a sneak peek of the part two, to I Feel A Sin Coming On (HERE). It's basically a Fem! Student! & Soulmate! X Damian Wayne/Robin and likeeee the angst has called to me so why not 😈
You were six when you decided to loathe soulmates. Six when you swore on your very soul- your existence that you would never love your soulmate. You swore to live in misery of your own making rather than fates. No matter who they were, you would hate them.
But fate... well fate hated to be tested. So, fate did the worst thing it could. It made you fall for the one person you swore never to.
Your soulmate.
Your very own soulmate who seemed like the only light in the dark and suddenly you began questioning whether or not these feelings- these emotions you had thought were your own and genuine- were actually yours. Or if they were just fate pulling its strings and making you dance and dance and dance.
To say you were upset was an understatement and... well let's just say fate might be prideful, but you were twice as petty.
At age thirteen you shoved the emotions you had so dearly cherished so deep in your chest they seemed like nothing more than echoes of naive mind. You distanced yourself from him and only let yourself feel in your loneliest of moments.
Four years, it had nearly been four years since you had begun your battle against fate. And- and and fate was getting stronger... as you have been told. The older you get- the closer you are to your soulmate, the stronger the bond is.
Those moments... those lonely moments happened more often, and those stupid annoying emotions rose up with the beating of your traitorous heart.
Which is exactly how you ended up in the last place you ever wanted to be. Face to face with your soulmate... with them recognizing you and what you were to them.
"I'm your soulmate." Damian Fucking Wayne said his eyes locked on you as you felt your heart jump to your throat and all the color drain from your face.
"Fucking shit, " You whispered, unable to break his gaze.
Shaking-hand shaking and heart pounding at your rib cage demanding you acknowledge him-that you give in and tell him he’s right. That you are soulmates and let fate drive you. But there was something fate and your treasonous heart seemed to forget. You were one petty bitch.
Weakly smiling you let out a nervous laugh and turned, avoiding eye contact. Eyes darting around they finally settled on your bare wrist as your other hand scrambled to gather your things against your trembling chest.
"Oh- my,” Your voice cracked as you shoved your things into your bag, “would you look at the time! I need to get going."
Fingers racing over the items in your bag you went to zip it close and make your escape when your eyes rested on your final item. The book you were reading earlier. Which just so happened (damn you fate) to be right in front of Damian. Eyes raising to him, gazes latching for just a moment you did the one thing you should not. You looked down, down and back at your book before making the stupidly impulsive decision to lunge for it. Your fingers brushed the cover, nails barely scraping lines into it when a hand-warm and firm clasped around your wrist. Pulling you back towards the table in a quick tug that caused your stomach to slam against the tables side. Wincing you stabbed your nails into your palm, not daring to look up. You had fallen for his trap, the oh so obvious trap you could have avoided had you just not looked at him.
"I'm your soulmate," He said again, his voice clear and stanch as he gently pulled on your arm, clearly trying to get you to meet his eyes, "and you are mine."
Soulmate- God why did you have to care about him. Why- why-did it have to be him? Why-
why couldn’t fate just leave you alone?
Something about the tone of his voice made your heart shatter. It was almost desperate, but you couldn’t-you couldn’t allow yourself to be weak. After all, you would not let fate win. Petty- you were so violently petty and prideful- oh even fate knew this yet- it still tried... this- you wouldn't let this stand. You could-no would not allow fate to get away with even attempting this. Taking a breath in-a deep breath- you raised your chin. Steadying your mind with the thoughts of your parents, of how you needed to be around them. Calm, poised, emotionless. Ignoring the well of tears in your throat and the pressure behind your eyes you finally met his gaze.
Green. All you could see was those beautiful green eyes, wide and desperate. Yearning-yearning for you to give a reply. But the one you were about to give would only hurt those eyes, regardless, it needed to be done. One pain- one moment or time of pain and sorrow was far better than a life of them.
Slowly letting out the breaths you previously let in you tilted your head, feeling his grip on your wrist lightening.
“I do not have a soulmate," You began instantly seeing the surprise on his face-the confusion, so you continued, “I won’t have one. Not you. Not anyone. You see, I don't believe in soulmates. So, I do believe you are mistaken.”
His grip dropped but seeing the broken look on his face made your facade crumble in an instant as your heart screamed to stop. To comfort him. To take back your words and press yourself into his arms. But you were smarter than that, even if you weren’t strong enough to hide the tears anymore. Throat bobbing, you felt your mouth tremble as your eyes stung and something warm began spilling down your cheeks.
Pulling yourself away from him, you smiled a bitter smile, not even daring to acknowledge the tears you were shedding. Head high, you turned.
Voice cracking, you bid farewell, “Now, if you excuse me, I have to get going.”
Tag List: @andromedaj2003 @thomasbeloved @instabull @zvtanna @daemonnix96 @neon-scenery @ssak-i @achromaticerebus @1lellykins @hyperfixiation-station @legendarylearner18
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Hey girl 🥰 how are you? 💖
I am alive? I think???
Imposter Syndrome has me in a choke hold and refuses to allow me to write anything decent soooo yeah 😂😂😂. But I’m trying my hardest to beat it so y’all can get some good content also cuz the IDEAS I HAVE.
I really want y’all to be able to see them to cuz they live rent free in my mind all the time and I really really enjoy being able to make people happy or at the very least entertain them with my writing.
Anyways thank you for asking!!! I keep planning on posting an update but then my lovely ADHD brain deletes it since I planned it out I must have done the task even though I didn’t 😅😅😅.
HOWEVER I have been (with some great help) beating my imposter syndromes ass so hopefully I will have something for you guys soon!!!
Thank you all for your patience, I really really appreciate it!!! I am sending my love and gratitude to all of you who are still here waiting for my works. It means a lot 🥰
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EPIC
The new epic saga is in fact my favorite it will most definitely be governing the reasoning behind the new doddads I will be writing/publishing in the next couple months
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Sneak Peek of I'm With You

This is a sneak peek of the part two, to I Feel A Sin Coming On (HERE). It's basically a Fem! Student! & Soulmate! X Damian Wayne/Robin and likeeee the angst has called to me so why not 😈
You were six when you decided to loathe soulmates. Six when you swore on your very soul- your existence that you would never love your soulmate. You swore to live in misery of your own making rather than fates. No matter who they were, you would hate them.
But fate... well fate hated to be tested. So, fate did the worst thing it could. It made you fall for the one person you swore never to.
Your soulmate.
Your very own soulmate who seemed like the only light in the dark and suddenly you began questioning whether or not these feelings- these emotions you had thought were your own and genuine- were actually yours. Or if they were just fate pulling its strings and making you dance and dance and dance.
To say you were upset was an understatement and... well let's just say fate might be prideful, but you were twice as petty.
At age thirteen you shoved the emotions you had so dearly cherished so deep in your chest they seemed like nothing more than echoes of naive mind. You distanced yourself from him and only let yourself feel in your loneliest of moments.
Four years, it had nearly been four years since you had begun your battle against fate. And- and and fate was getting stronger... as you have been told. The older you get- the closer you are to your soulmate, the stronger the bond is.
Those moments... those lonely moments happened more often, and those stupid annoying emotions rose up with the beating of your traitorous heart.
Which is exactly how you ended up in the last place you ever wanted to be. Face to face with your soulmate... with them recognizing you and what you were to them.
"I'm your soulmate." Damian Fucking Wayne said his eyes locked on you as you felt your heart jump to your throat and all the color drain from your face.
"Fucking shit, " You whispered, unable to break his gaze.
Shaking-hand shaking and heart pounding at your rib cage demanding you acknowledge him-that you give in and tell him he’s right. That you are soulmates and let fate drive you. But there was something fate and your treasonous heart seemed to forget. You were one petty bitch.
Weakly smiling you let out a nervous laugh and turned, avoiding eye contact. Eyes darting around they finally settled on your bare wrist as your other hand scrambled to gather your things against your trembling chest.
"Oh- my,” Your voice cracked as you shoved your things into your bag, “would you look at the time! I need to get going."
Fingers racing over the items in your bag you went to zip it close and make your escape when your eyes rested on your final item. The book you were reading earlier. Which just so happened (damn you fate) to be right in front of Damian. Eyes raising to him, gazes latching for just a moment you did the one thing you should not. You looked down, down and back at your book before making the stupidly impulsive decision to lunge for it. Your fingers brushed the cover, nails barely scraping lines into it when a hand-warm and firm clasped around your wrist. Pulling you back towards the table in a quick tug that caused your stomach to slam against the tables side. Wincing you stabbed your nails into your palm, not daring to look up. You had fallen for his trap, the oh so obvious trap you could have avoided had you just not looked at him.
"I'm your soulmate," He said again, his voice clear and stanch as he gently pulled on your arm, clearly trying to get you to meet his eyes, "and you are mine."
Soulmate- God why did you have to care about him. Why- why-did it have to be him? Why-
why couldn’t fate just leave you alone?
Something about the tone of his voice made your heart shatter. It was almost desperate, but you couldn’t-you couldn’t allow yourself to be weak. After all, you would not let fate win. Petty- you were so violently petty and prideful- oh even fate knew this yet- it still tried... this- you wouldn't let this stand. You could-no would not allow fate to get away with even attempting this. Taking a breath in-a deep breath- you raised your chin. Steadying your mind with the thoughts of your parents, of how you needed to be around them. Calm, poised, emotionless. Ignoring the well of tears in your throat and the pressure behind your eyes you finally met his gaze.
Green. All you could see was those beautiful green eyes, wide and desperate. Yearning-yearning for you to give a reply. But the one you were about to give would only hurt those eyes, regardless, it needed to be done. One pain- one moment or time of pain and sorrow was far better than a life of them.
Slowly letting out the breaths you previously let in you tilted your head, feeling his grip on your wrist lightening.
“I do not have a soulmate," You began instantly seeing the surprise on his face-the confusion, so you continued, “I won’t have one. Not you. Not anyone. You see, I don't believe in soulmates. So, I do believe you are mistaken.”
His grip dropped but seeing the broken look on his face made your facade crumble in an instant as your heart screamed to stop. To comfort him. To take back your words and press yourself into his arms. But you were smarter than that, even if you weren’t strong enough to hide the tears anymore. Throat bobbing, you felt your mouth tremble as your eyes stung and something warm began spilling down your cheeks.
Pulling yourself away from him, you smiled a bitter smile, not even daring to acknowledge the tears you were shedding. Head high, you turned.
Voice cracking, you bid farewell, “Now, if you excuse me, I have to get going.”
Tag List: @andromedaj2003 @thomasbeloved @instabull @zvtanna @daemonnix96 @neon-scenery @ssak-i @achromaticerebus @1lellykins @hyperfixiation-station @legendarylearner18
#sneak peek#technically part 2#I just wanted to give it a new name#I am feeling evil#deal with it <3#batboys#batfam#damian wayne#reader#y/n#robin#soulmates! au#reader x robin#y/n x damian wayne#damian wayne x y/n#reader x damian wayne#damian wayne x reader#requests#angsty angsty angsty#might be done soon#depends on if I find the right song for writing#I literally have it outlined i just need to write it but clearly god hates me#jkjk#i just got the depressy writer blocks#anyways yeah!#soulmate!reader#redhead batgal#hope yall enjoy!#batboy x y/n#hehehehehehehehe
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Depression kicked my ass so hard I was nearly launched back into my sixteen year old self…..
Anyways hope y’all don’t mind if I go completely off my schedule and throw out what I can. I promise though when I do end up gettin Head Over Heels done it will be the best it can be cuz right now my brain is singing the Ducky Momo theme while the loading symbol spins in its eternal cycle of terror and death.
But like angst is coming so I hope you’re looking forward to that!!!!
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If you’d like to see my non-request/dodad Batfam stuff and batfam rambles.
Follow my non writing tumblr
Enjoy!!!!
#batboys#batfam#jason todd#damian wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#alfred pennyworth#redhead batgal#redhead batgal is offline#follow with caution#I may or may not be in a rage because of a certain batfam member at the moment
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Heyyy!
Just wanted to pop into your inbox and ask for an idea of when your next fic is coming? I just really love your writing and can’t wait for something new!
Uhhhh well I am getting out of finals currently and like am planning on kinda working during my spring break, but I have discovered that the less I do the faster I get bored and want to do stuff. So long answer short, hopefully before May. But like my family visted me at the end of March and I may or may not be still reeling from that and fist fighting off my depression in a Denny's parking lott when my anxiety isn't looking soooooooooo yeah. 😅😅😅
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I’ve gots a conundrum YALL. So obviously Head Over Heels won the poll and should be the next thing I am publishing but like I’ve been struggling cuz like I have an idea that I can either a multi part thing with Head Over Heels however it kinda sorta doesn’t go along with the request . Or I can just do a whole other thing for the other idea I have sooooo
What to do next?
I am having a smidgen of trouble deciding what to write/work on next for the requests I have soooo, yall are gonna help me! Below is the names of some requests along with what pairing it is and what type of doodad it is.
I would really appreciate it if y'all vote on which on you want next! If I end up needing to do another poll I will!
(P.S: a lot of my requests as of late have been Reader x Jason Todd soooo yeah majority of the options are gonna be that)
Anyways...
#damian wayne x reader#reader x damian wayne#reader x batboy#y/n x damian wayne#batboys x reader#damian wayne x y/n#damian wayne#robin x reader#reader x robin#one shot#request#head over heels#plz help I’m so stuck on this#batboys x y/n#y/n x batboy#batboy xy/n#batboys#redhead batgal
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as fun as clicking the boop button is, remember to also do your daily clicks for Palestine 🇵🇸 !!!!!
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Don’t usually reblog or share stuff like this but considering how people *cough cough* Hollywood *cough cough* reacted to Ai making “advances” and its notion for stealing peoples work thought this was important to share
Here's how to Disable Third Parties (Like AI Companies) from Looking At Your Shit. A Comprehensible Guide.
If you're on your computer, go to "ACCOUNT" located on the Left <-side bar, and choose for the blog you want to shield from the artificial onlookers. (Side note: You're gonna have to do this to each blog you have... ughhh.. they don't make it easy.) ANyway, choose one of your blogs and click it.
Once there, go to the Right -> side bar, and click on "BLOG SETTINGS."
Your Blog's page set up should be set up like this. Now, scroll allll the way down (it's near the damn BOTTOM >:( ) Until you get to a Section Called, "VISIBILITY."
Here's the "VISIBILITY" section. If you look at the blue bullet right there, you'll see "Prevent third-party sharing for (yourtumblrblogname)". Yours will probably be a gray bullet. Gray means you've switched it to OFF. Blue means it's switched to ON. Make sure the bullet slider is blue. And Bam. You're done (for this blog). No extra save button thankfully or whatever. BUT now you have to go and do the same thing for all your other side blogs. Hope this helps some of my followers. Because the tumblr is set up in a way that gives you multiple setting options for not just each blog, but your account as well. So you'd ASSUME it'd be underneath your account so it could apply to everything! Buuut its not. And here we are. Good luck out there fellow artists. And tumblr? Shame. Live was a mistake, and so was this.
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What to do next?
I am having a smidgen of trouble deciding what to write/work on next for the requests I have soooo, yall are gonna help me! Below is the names of some requests along with what pairing it is and what type of doodad it is.
I would really appreciate it if y'all vote on which on you want next! If I end up needing to do another poll I will!
(P.S: a lot of my requests as of late have been Reader x Jason Todd soooo yeah majority of the options are gonna be that)
Anyways...
#batfam#batboys#y/n#jason todd#reader#dick grayson#damian wayne#tim drake#batboys x y/n#batfamily#reader x tim drake#reader x dick grayson#robin x reader#reader insert#damian wayne x y/n#red hood x y/n#y/n x jason todd#jason todd x y/n#requests#one-shots#please help me out yall#poll#which one???#redhead batgal
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Hey , I recently read your Damian Wayne one shot called she's so gone and I was wondering if you were going to make a part 2 . I absolutely loved it and would love to read a part 2 and I look forward to seeing more of your stories and if you don't write a part please tag me in a post that u are not gonna write part 2 I would really appreciate it. And awesome stories btw .☺️❤️
Type: Two-Shot (Part One: Here)
Pairing: Fem! and Best Friend! Reader x Damian Wayne/ Robin
Word Count: 7,462
Content: angsty, angsty times, arguing, confrontation babes, the sis is back, maybe some PDA, amazing friend! Jon Kent, fluffies????, language, violence, self-deprecating reader thoughts, batfam supporting reader, and aged up reader/Damian to 18 yrs
(P.S: Sooooo, yeah, I hope y'all enjoy this chaos cuz it may or may not get intense at some point but like.... you did ask for this, however y'all will like the ending I promise)
(P.P.S: Forgive me I'm really really bad at writing PDA)
Y/N: your name, S/n: Sister's name
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There is something hollow and empty in heartbreak. Some emptiness that consumes everything in a twirling barreling black hole that destroyed anything that entered its orbit. Transforming the raw and fierce emotions into a numb and darkness that overtook and elapsed time and almost even life itself. It was almost like a never-ending wave, water pounding in ears and honing the sound of a beating heart. Something about that feeling that was almost...addictive.
Though this feeling- this destruction was oh so painful. Part of you- part of you clung to it. Maybe it was because these horrible and draining emotions helped you focus on something other-other than the betrayal and other then... other than your inadequacies. After all, Damian wouldn't have chosen S/N right? if you have been better if you had been greater, if you had just been more, maybe- just maybe he wouldn't have left- he wouldn't have abandoned you.
These thoughts had you up at night despite the heartbreak roaring through your mind. It made adjusting to your new life in Metropolis so much harder. And even though you had developed a poker face of sorts, your new roommate Jon Kent always seemed to know when you were struggling.
It wasn't as though he could read your mind or that he had any feelings for you, but more as that he knew you so well. He was, in a sense, the sibling- the brother you had needed. A person to rely on and to confide in. It was surprising how willing Jon was to listen to your woes despite the fact that he was close friends with Damian. Despite the fact that he knew your sister, he knew her well, he still listened to everything that had happened and your point of view of it all.
It was even more surprising that he comforted you. Not in a soft way, but in the ruffling of hair and saying that your family, your sister and even Damian didn't deserve you. Before continuing with even if you really are annoying. You had laughed, tears spilling from your eyes before nodding.
Regardless of Jon's comments and the quiet messages of encouragement from Oracle saying she won't tell Damian where you were at and that you were in the right, your mind still scrambled and screamed.
It's all your fault
he left because you aren't good enough
you should have died that night
These swirls of terror overtook you at the worst of times. In the dead of night when you were all alone; in crowded rooms at parties Jon had convinced you to go to; even in your sleep. Yanking you from the one peace and bliss you had to the roaring of self-hatred and scorn. And today was no different.
Just as the soft hues of light brushed the horizon, your mind bellowed and twisted, pulling you from sweet dreams of the past you longed to return to.
Partially panting you sat up, teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you intertwined a hand into your hair. Squeezing your eyes shut you focused on your racing heart instead of the thoughts that fought to be known.
Moments later there was a knock on your door. Sighing heavily, you slipped from bed and walked over to the door. Opening it with a weak wave you turned back towards your bed. In the doorway Jon stood a worried look on his face.
"Are you okay?" He whispered, having clearly been awoken by your frantic episode.
"I guess, I mean nothing out of the ordinary is happening." You grumbled in reply, rubbing your brow.
There was silence between the two of you and Jon walked into your room flopping onto your bed with a slight grunt, "So all the fun times?"
"Of course, what else would you expect from me?"
Jon laughed slightly and you sank onto the ground leaning your head half against the bed, half against Jon's leg. Something stirred and shifted in you and closing your eyes you muttered a question,
"Do-do you hear it too?"
"Your voices? no, I think those are your special friends."
Shooting him a glare of sorts you swatted at his leg, and he chuckled before letting out a soft yawn. There was more silence before he sighed.
"Okay, okay you're serious... yeah. I do. I mean it's not like what you're going through but I hear the doubts and negative thoughts too."
Something about his words made you want to protest, to say it wasn't that bad, or really untrue. Something also struck a match in your chest, alighting warmth and comfort and something almost burst.
Swallowing back your tears you leaned back a bit to see his face before you continued.
"So... I'm not crazy or awful for having voices tell me all the bad things I've done?'
Jon snorted and you had to resist the urge to punch him. He sits up glancing down at you before sighing dramatically.
"No, that doesn't make you crazy. You are perfectly crazy all on your own."
With that a wave of relief came over you as you jumped to your feet. Jon rose and you pushed at him a smile of sorts on your face. He gasped dramatically before reaching out to push you back. You dodged his hands as laughter began to build in your chest.
"oh, it is so on." Jon muttered and a laugh escaped you.
Turning you skidded out of your room, avoiding Jon's attempts to push you as you hurried down the hall into the kitchen. Your feet slid across hardwood floors almost gliding when your foot caught on a chair leg, and you practically flew forwards, your face slamming straight onto the ground.
A bit of pain raced over you, but it was familiar enough for you to know that the most you would have is a bruise.
There was silence, then roaring laughter and you hazily pushed yourself up to see Jon cackling. His hand pressed to his stomach as he laughed at your fall.
"You are such a dick." You mumbled as you pushed yourself up.
Jon did not seem to care and continued to laugh. You rolled your eyes before pushing yourself to your feet. His laughter seemed to halt as you turned towards him. He paused, weakly smiling, "Is this the part where I run?"
Smiling slowly, you tilted your head and shrugged.
"It can be; however I am willing to negotiate."
He hesitated, eyes going wide as he looked around the room clearly noticing the hardwood floors and his feet in socks.
"Ah okay, uhm how does hot chocolate sound?"
You narrowed your eyes taking a step forwards, Jon's hands went out and he blinked a few times taking a step back.
"And a donut or pastry or whatever you like."
You took another step forwards and Jon flinched raising his hands to cover himself as he squeaked out,
"From Nonna's!"
You hesitated, recalling the Italian woman's small cafe and all the baked goods inside. Including her delightful assortment of drinks.
"I want extra whipped cream on my drink and a bag of stuff."
Jon paused, looking up at you slowly, his eyes narrowed, "Is that all?"
You thought for a moment and nodded, "Yes."
He held out a hand slightly shaking, and you grinned, "Deal."
After a somewhat civil handshake, you took a step back feeling something warm in your chest.
"I'll get my shoes and coat!"
Bounding back to your room you grabbed a pair of shoes and a coat before practically skipping back into the kitchen. Jon had his arms crossed as he leaned against the wall, a strange look on his face. As you pulled your coat and shoes on you approached him.
"Ready?"
He hesitated, making eye contact with you and blanching. He cleared his throat, eyes darting towards the front door.
"I- i I uh... I don't think going now is a good idea-"
You rolled your eyes, "You promised, we are going no backing out, we shook on it!"
But something about his hesitance made your stomach churn, pins and needles beginning to bounce on your chest.
Jon opened his mouth to say something else and you walked over to the door, your hand resting on the handle when something escapes him.
"Wait!" He almost squeaks.
You hesitated for a moment before looking back to the door and slowly opening it. An empty hallway stood before you and you tilted to show Jon. Snorting a laugh at his surprise you scrunched up your nose giving him a teasing look, hoping to make him roll his eyes- or at the very least stop his nervous behavior.
"Does the big bad empty space scare you Little Johnny?" You asked in a voice you'd use on a child.
Jon seemed to relax, his shoulders dropping and air leaving him as he stared at the doorway; clearly not registering your taunt. A second passed before his head snapped in your direction and he narrowed his eyes.
"Seriously? Little Johnny?"
You shrugged, "What else am I supposed to call you? Your name???"
This made him laugh, which calmed the buzzing on your chest and churning in your stomach. Yet, something about the look in his eyes made the pins and needles dig deeper, moving to the back of your neck and shoulders.
Jon moved towards you and the door, seeming more relaxed than before but... something seemed off. However, you didn't know Jon well enough to know what exactly that meant.
He gestured out the doorway smiling slightly, "Shall we?"
Pausing you nodded, a slur of worries being pushed back in your mind as you smiled, "Of course!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Surprisingly, despite the early hour, Nonna's was in fact open. You were not in fact Nonna's first customers; however, you were able to get your order in. You had to wait but waiting for Nonna's goodies was worth it.
Though, Jon was acting a bit odd. Looking at his phone frequently as he shifted from one foot to the other, eyes darting to the door every once in a while. After nearly ten minutes of this behavior, you were suspicious. Elbowing his side, you tilted your head and opened your mouth to ask him what was going on when Nonna called out your name. You moved to get your order, smiling at Nonna from behind the counter.
"Here's what you asked for piccolina, I added some extra's since you and that patatino," She gestured to Jon who was staring at the door frozen, "over there are looking a little thin."
You nodded smiling, as you took your bag and hot chocolate from her, happy for the food but worried as the pins and needles stabbed into your neck and shoulders, dancing around your heart.
"Buongiorno Nonna."
"Torna Presto, Piccolina!"
Nonna beamed as she moved on to her next customer. Turning back towards Jon you moved towards him, brow furrowed as you stopped at his side.
"What the heck, are you okay Jon?"
He didn't reply, instead he stiffed as the bell to Nonna's rang. His eyes locked on who just entered as he took a breath in slowly. Confused, you looked to see what was making him so still.
Standing in the doorway, disheveled and sweating was none other than Damian Wayne. The two of you made eye contact and you felt the air and color leave you. Heart hammering, you froze for a singular moment, long enough to see the recognition and relief in his eyes.
Something warm blossomed in your chest, a wave of joy that wrapped around your throat. It squeezed at your heart as a bitter taste coated your tongue and you weakly took a breath in. He was here, he was here. It was almost instinctual to lean in and hug him. To start some sort of physical contact as if you make sure he was here-truly here. Then the tight pulsing of your veins and breathing of your lungs yanked you back into reality. He- he had betrayed you, he- he had abandoned you. Pulling back, you squeezed your hand into a fist, eyes raking over him before noticing the movement just beyond his shoulder. No, the person behind him. She looked a little frazzled, but still as perfect as ever. Looking back to Damian the sluggish feeling of betrayal up your spine.
A wave of emotions fierce and roaring climbed up your throat as you backed away from the door. For a moment you couldn't breathe, and the world was spinning as a realization crashed down around you.
He was here.
Why was he here? Why did he have to come just as you were starting to get numb to all those emotions? Why did he have to come after you just made it past an episode? Why did he come? Why? Why?!
Swallowing you pushed back your worries and fears, back the questions and pain. Gripping your hot chocolate tighter as you let out a slow breath, then you began walking towards the door. Hoping your nonchalant attitude would make them ignore you or so baffled you could slip past. As you made it to the doorway, you began to slide towards the street, outside of the store-the place with no escape, to the open and free air that allowed you the opportunity to turn and leave.
Unfortunately, your hopes were in vain. A hand clamped down on your arm, pulling you in. And you blinked, looking to find Damian Wayne practically towering next to you. Eyes frantically racing over your face and body, worry covering every feature as you felt his heavy breaths on your skin. Hell, his heaving chest nearly touched your arms as you felt his heat.
"Y/N."
Taking another breath you gave him a blank look, your eyes instantly drawn to your sister loitering behind him. A muddled mixture of emotions on her face.
"If," You began calmly, your eyes locking on his nose, so you don't have to look into his eyes, "you're here because you think I'm trying to steal Jon or poison him against you, you should know I'm not. And there's no reason to worry."
You saw his jaw twitch and his grip tightened on your arm as he pulled you in even closer. Faintly, you could feel Jon lingering behind you. Clearly watching and waiting for a moment that deemed too much for you or a spot to intervene.
"I am not here because of that."
You bit the inside of your cheek as you looked away from Damian's face. Eyes once again drawing to your sister, whose brow was furrowed, a scowl of sorts on her face.
"Then why are you here?" You softly asked nails digging into your palm as you looked towards the floor.
"I'm here for you."
Snapping up, you raised your head and made the unfortunate mistake of meeting Damian's gaze. There was some kind of pain you noticed in his eyes. Pain, worry and something you refused to believe was real.
Longing
Looking away you tried to focus to stay calm, but your heart refused to listen.
Liar one side of it hissed
For me? the other side sobbed
Pushing down your feuding heart, you tried to think, think of the real reason he could be here. It took just a moment for you to come to what you thought was a viable conclusion.
He was here to show you how awful you really were.
He was here to prove he was in the right, and you were wrong.
To show that you weren't good enough.
That your sister was and that's the whole reason he chose her was because you weren't good enough.
Because you weren't enough.
The air stopped in your chest, and it was then you noticed your sister's gaze locked on Damian's hand gripping your arm. Forcing a breath you swallowed, your free hand to touch the one holding you there.
Almost instantly, Damian let go of your arm, his brows creased as his gaze flicked, just for a moment to Jon. Quickly looking back at you, almost as if he was scared, you'd disappear or be gone since he took his eyes off of you, Damian let out a long breath. Then, he stepped back until he was on the sidewalk, out of the doorway but blocking any escape onto the street.
Part of you hated that he knew you well enough to know you'd try to escape. Knew you well enough to know cornering you in a public place would not only make you even more hostile but frustrated people knew your personal business. Damian knew you well enough to know that even though you wanted to run, you did not want to impede on others.
Grinding your teeth, you exited Nonna's. You didn't have much of a choice other than moving out of the doorway fully and standing so close to Damian you were practically pressed into his side.
His hand was brushing your cheek, and you found a frown searing itself into his face.
"There is a bruise forming... what happened? How did this occur? Did someone harm you? Who hurt you?"
It took everything in you not to shove him away screaming,
YOU
YOU HURT ME
YOU CONTINUE TO HURT ME, OVER AND OVER AGAIN!
when will you stop hurting me?
Instead, you gently moved his hand from your face and tightly smiled your eyes drifting to Jon, confused why he hadn't stepped in or tried to help you escape yet.
"I'm fine, I just fell earlier. It was an accident, don't-" You stopped.
Don't worry.
Why did you need to say that? Why did you need to reassure him you were okay?
Why why why?
"You fell?" Damian murmurs, eyes narrowed, clearly unconvinced.
"Yes," You retorted, taking in a breath, "I was running around the apartment and my foot caught a chair leg. Ask Jon, he was there."
"I know."
Stepping closer to you, your sister cleared her throat, smiling tightly, fully capturing your attention, "Y/N how are you liking Metropolis?"
"It's fine," You began narrowing your eyes as you looked her over, "why-"
Before you could even finish your question, she interrupted gesturing to Jon with a smug look on her face.
"Is he your boyfriend?"
"Who, Jon? No, no. He's my friend, a good friend, but just a friend."
Part of you wanted to look at Damian as you said this, but you kept your composure enough to keep your gaze on S/N. However, she rolled her eyes at your comment almost as if she didn't believe you. And there was a look on her face that made something in you snap. Taking a step closer to her you scowled, crossing your arms.
"What the hell are you doing here anyways? I thought you were happily living in Gotham now," You hesitantly shot Damian a look before turning back to her, "I thought you both were."
Your sister weakly laughed, "Well, things have been... interesting. Adjusting to living in a new city is difficult, you should know that."
"I'm doing perfectly fine here; in fact, I was doing great until you- until the two of you showed up."
S/N blinked in surprise almost recoiling from your words. She opened her mouth, clearly prepared to spin a sob story to make you feel bad when Damian pulled you away from her.
"Be quiet, S/N."
"But Da-"
"I said quiet. It is atrocious enough that you followed me here. I do not need you aggregating things with Y/N by lying again."
"It's not lying exactly-"
There was a loud crash that rocketed you all straight into silence. You paused, looking around before taking a step forwards, trying to figure out where the sound was coming from.
At first you couldn't even see past the roof of the stores just beyond Nonna's. But as you slid into the empty street, you noticed a blur of colors. A familiar blur of colors.
Red and Blue.
"Oh shit," You whispered as an alarm of sorts began to blare.
You turned to shout to the others what was going on when a blast of sorts had you stumbling backwards. Looking up you saw a building tumbling towards you.
Blinking, everything seemed to go deathly still as a low whirling began in your ears. You turned, your eyes slowly blinking again as the building got closer to you and figures- blurred figures raced towards you as the whirling rose to a rumble then a voice, shout- no screaming your name. Before dust and rubble covered your eyes and something heavy struck your head sending you into pitch black darkness.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Dust and what must have been ash floated in the air. Catching on your eyelashes and blurring your vision as you stirred. Blinking to find heavy rock and metal-rubble surrounding you. Wincing, you shifted in an attempt to get on your feet when you heard a groan.
Turning, you found just a few feet behind you a dusty and twitching person. Rubbing the dust away before you got closer you noticed a slab of concrete, a crimson splotch barely visible just on the area it made contact with the person's leg.
Moving closer, you noticed the familiar figure- the face and eyes. Moving closer you realized it was Damian. Going still you bit your lip as he grunted, clearly waking up.
Part of you wanted to just stare, to wait for him to notice you. But you also- the pain in your chest grew at the sight of him. Fallen and pinned, injured-bleeding; he was hurt. And-and in front of you. How could you just stand by and watch?
How was he even here? He was far away when the building fell and yet-here he was.
Moving closer you began to focus on his pinned leg, he blinked clearly trying to sit up.
"What are you doing here?" You muttered as you crouched near the slab.
"Pardon?"
"What are you doing over here! You should be by Nonna's safe from falling rubble and being trapped in a growing hellhole!" Peering around the slab, you noticed it wasn't too large. And there was definitely enough room for you to lift it up.
"You-"
"I what?" You snapped, shooting him a glare.
He hesitated, seeming to realize what you were doing as you took in a deep breath and slid your fingers under the concrete.
"I was attempting to reach you. To-to- remove you from danger."
You froze, air stopping in your lungs as sweat coated your hands. Gripping the slap harder you yanked upwards, heart racing. The slab rose just enough for his leg to slip free. Rolling, he cursed and scrambled away from the slab as the sweat weakened your grip and the slab fell back in place.
Silence overcame the two of you and you sighed deeply before remarking, "... you pushed me out of the way of falling rubble?"
"It is possible that situation occurred."
"Damian-"
"It is my belief that in consideration of our current... situation, we would be at a loss in continuing to bicker on what exactly occurred so that I would result in being confined here with you."
"Then what exactly should we be doing?"
"Perhaps we can discuss what truly occurred in reference to when your sister came to Gotham."
Your teeth sank onto the inner part of your cheek as you let out a hissing breath. Nails digging into the palm of your hands as you turned to him.
Frustrated, sad and-and angry.
Angry that this whole situation came about and that you were being pushed once again to listen. To understand. That what happened was always going to happen.
But part of you... part of you wanted to listen. To hear his explanation and get rid of the ever-growing pit of abyss in your chest. To listen and understand what he did. That it never really was between you and her. That you were enough and that, that.... he would choose you.
However, you knew it was too late for something like that to occur. He had chosen her. Just as everyone else did, just as everyone always will.
You were never and will never be anyone's first choice. Especially when your sister was an option. Especially when you were just simply you. Not something greater or grander like she was, like others will be.
So, you need to make a choice. Hear him out, listen to the same story you've heard hundreds of times before or sit in the unknowing. Questioning whether or not it actually was the same, whether or not you weren't enough. Questioning if he really did choose her over you.
And you weren't exactly good with questions, with curiosities and wonderings. But you were tired of hearing all the reasons your sister was better...
Maybe this time will make you realize the truth. Maybe this time, hearing the words of devotion to your sister from someone who you so deeply loved and trusted would make you realize it will always be her. Maybe it will make you realize you need to stop hoping and wishing and wanting it to be you. Because in the end it never will be.
Swallowing, you relaxed your hand and jaw. Sinking onto the dusty ground with a sigh you shrugged.
"Fine, fine. Why the hell not, tell me your little sob story. I'll listen. I won't cry or shout or say you're lying. Tell me the truth and it will all be over."
He began pulling himself across the ground closer to you. You locked your jaw, wincing before going still.
"It- There- A misunderstanding occurred. I wish to rectify this, because... for a lack of superior terminology, it is not what you think."
You raised an eyebrow as he slid even closer to you, sweat beading on his brow. Mixing with the dust and dirt that clung to his face, sliding down his face drawing your eye to his face- his jaw and- no.
no
"Really now?" You sneered.
"Y/N-" He began and you rolled your eyes.
"Damian stop with the antics, call me as you usually do."
"... I regularly address you in this manner."
"Wha- no- wait..." You paused blinking a few times as faint memories raced across your mind, with his voice always calling you by your first name, "when did you stop calling me by my last name?"
"Is that what you truly wish to know?"
You took a risk and met his gaze, seeing the unwavering determination in his eyes. Almost as if he'd tell you anything you wanted to know.
"Y- no. No, just continue, continue please."
He paused for just a moment before nodding weakly and continuing, "When your sister first arrived in Gotham, I was... concerned. You had previously stated that your accounts could be biased. Therefore, I desired to comprehend the truth in your... contemptuous relationship. Thus, I enacted a strategy to ascertain your sister's true intentions."
Strategy... a plan-he- he wait
"You-you... you wanted to know what my sister wanted with me?"
Eyes still locked onto each other you watched him sigh heavily, his jaw locking as he readjusted himself.
"In essence, I yearned to distinguish if your belief is correct or if your judgment was clouded due to... past grievances."
He...wa-he wanted to know the truth. Was there really anything wrong with that? After all he wouldn't have come all this way if he... if he truly chose your sister.
Speaking of your sister... what- what did he find that made him- made him decide to lie to you??
"... And what exactly did you discover?"
At this he broke eye contact and your stomach dropped. You were wrong, you were wrong she wasn't trying to hurt you. She wasn't being cruel. oh lord what had you done-
"You- you... your perspective on the matter is accurate. Extensively accurate. In fact, according to my comprehension, your sister not only dislikes you- but she wishes to have you... under her control."
wait, you were right? You were right? Then- then what exactly was she trying to do? Why was she so cruel? Why did he use those methods to discover this?
"So, you're telling me that you flirted with and went on a date with my sister because you wanted to know what her intentions with me were?"
"That is correct."
"And... she hates me."
Damian winced as he attempted to slide even closer to you. It was then you realized how you were leaning back, shoulders straight, arms crossed and nails in palm. Tense you were so tense.
"Hardly, rather she- well rather it appears to me she is... envious of you."
This startled you. What, what on earth could he mean by envious?
"Envious?”
"Ugh, perhaps the word jealous provides more clarity."
"She's-... she's jealous of me?" You were barely able to get the words out as your shoulders sank and Damian's hand brushed against your leg.
He shifted once again, pulling himself so he was seated at your side. He was panting and his brow was soaked in sweat.
"That is how I have come to understand it."
It- none of this made any sense.
"Why?"
"As far as I was able to discern, she envy's your strength against society and peer's ideals on who you are and how you should behave."
He reached out, gently grabbing your hand and holding it in his own as you stared at the rubble surrounding the two of you. There was more silence when he squeezed your hand. You turned to him and he half heartedly gestured to his leg before remarking,
"Is this not when you scold me for causing further injury to myself? Better yet, why have you not voiced any complaints or objections to my actions?"
"Because you did it to yourself, who am I to tell you what to do?" You snorted rolling your eyes as you took his hand in return, "besides would you have actually listened to me?"
"I do not believe I would."
"Exactly."
For a moment or two, it almost felt as though everything was going back to the way it was supposed to be. In fact, you were just about to lean into him when a thought crossed your mind.
why did he hide it? Why did he not include you? Why keep it from you?
"Why didn't you tell me?"
He was quiet and you swallowed, waiting for the weak explanation of how he realized he didn't like you all that much. Instead, you got,
"I- wished to inform you of my discoveries... but only after I obtained a method to prevent her from ever... from allowing her envy to create contention between the two of you."
Contention... wait-wait was- was he trying to protect you?
"You- you were trying to figure out how to prevent her from being mean to me?"
"I was attempting to, but... you ran away."
A heat of sorts rose up in your chest and burned away the fleeting sensation of relief and regret.
"I did not run away," You snapped, pulling your hand from his as you glared, "I left."
"I apologize," He said, his face pale as he reached out for you once again, "It seemed, at the time, that you were running."
It wasn't a wrong assumption exactly but... how- how did he-
"How did you find me?" You whispered.
"I- I will give you this information under an immovable condition."
You raised your head brow furrowed with suspicion rising in your throat, "And what is that?"
"You- you cannot act and must think through all I will tell. You must listen because there is much I will say."
Someone- someone had given you up. Someone had betrayed you...again.
"Fine."
"My... family, those who knew, would not even acknowledge your absence. So do not worry, they still hold your confidence in high regard."
You relaxed slightly, swallowing as a weight on your shoulders lifted. Making eye contact you raised an eyebrow and nodded.
"I searched for any trace and found none. It is my belief that Gordon erased your tracks... regardless I- i had begun to lose hope when... when Kent reached out to me."
You froze, your chest tightening as your nail instinctively stabbed into your palm. Biting your lip, you looked away as a heavy darkness clouded your mind. Clutching onto your shoulders and sinking into your skin as a pain of sorts danced across your veins.
"He was... concerned about my wellbeing. And soon, yours. He informed me he knew of your location, but it wasn't until he said you were looking gaunt- that it was evident not only with your action but with your appearance. You- he said-" Damian paused, swallowing as it seemed almost as if he was in pain as he continued, "you were suffering. And that though he did not wish to betray you, your welfare was far more important."
This was, this was odd. You had never experienced someone- someone doing something for your own good even though you were against it.
"Jon- Jon told you where I was because he was worried?"
"Yes, he- he ordered me to come to your side," Damian chuckled, "To explain and clarify what occurred. That he could not bear to see you in such a state for any longer."
"Ah... and you didn't originally tell me because-because you were trying to protect me?"
Damian blinked a few times, turning to you, confusion clinging to his features as you noted his flushed cheeks, more than likely due to his strenuous efforts to reach your side, "Pardon?"
"You approached my sister, trying to figure out what she wanted because you didn't want me to get hurt. You even wanted to come up with a plan to stop her from hurting me. So, you wanted to protect me."
He tilted his head and shrugged, eyes raking over your face as if he was taking it in for the first time.
"With it phrased in that manner, yes. It appears that way."
"why."
"What?'
"Why did you-" You hesitated faintly recalling Damian calling you friend and you stopped.
You knew why he did it. At least most of it. A better question to ask- a question ringing in your mind over and over again was,
"Why didn't you tell me from the beginning?"
"I- I am afraid I do not understand."
"Why didn't you tell me you were planning on figuring out what my sister wanted? Why did you lie to me? Why did you hide this from me?"
"I feared it would harm you."
"How?"
"You- you tend to be... excessively sensitive with matters involving your sister. I did not want you to... worry whether or not your intentions or beliefs about what happened with your sister were incorrect."
You paused, something sparking in your chest. A light of hope or joy. Something warm and happy that began to spread, the fact he knew you well enough to know you'd think that way-
But it didn't entirely make sense.
Damian would usually be there with you shaking his arms crossed as he sighed at your thoughts. Saying something along the lines of "you need not think that way. While I loathe to admit it, I made mistakes as well. And as Father has said, to make mistakes is human.... though I doubt he himself follows this proverb."
Looking him over you raised your head, eyes once again narrowed. Suspicion-a light more curious suspicion- rose up on your skin. Itching and crawling as confusion clouded your mind.
"What doesn't make sense."
He blinked, looking to you his brow furrowed pain etched into his face as he let out a ragged breath.
"I would appreciate some elaboration."
"That reason doesn't make sense."
"I beg your pardon?"
"You-... just as well as you know me Damian, I know you. And I know that me being worried I was wrong about my sister is not a good enough reason you'd keep that plan from me."
He faltered, wincing as he avoided your eyes, "It- at the time it appeared to me that you were... compromised emotionally due to your sister's unexpected arrival. I did not want to-to pressure you more with this... scheme of mine."
You snorted, crossing your arms as you gave him an irritated and amused look.
"Damian, even after my grandma died, who I was really close with. After I got back from her funeral, you still felt the need to tell me I was lacking when on patrol."
He shifted, eyes drifting away from you, his jaw locked.
"I do not understand how that circumstance and the present conversation connect."
"You are lying to me right now. I don't know why, and I honestly don't really care. I just want the truth."
He breathed out a heavy sigh before meeting your gaze, "I have grown a great deal since then. I now better understand what is appropriate and what is not."
"Damian."
Something stirred in you, it ached that he was still lying and-and you couldn't understand why. You didn't care about why truthfully. As long as you knew the truth, he could keep all the secrets about why he had lied that he wanted.
"I am telling you the truth." He seethed.
"I don't believe you; it doesn't make sense."
"Y/N-"
"Why would you do that?" You threw your hands up, shaking your head in confusion, that ache turning into a burning flame" Why would you care all of the sudden-"
"BECAUSE I HAVE AMOROUS FEELINGS FOR YOU!"
The flame went out and all of the anger and frustration disappeared in the blink of an eye. You tilted your head, confusion overtaking everything, "...what?"
"I have amorous feelings... for you."
Confusion grew and grew buzzing in your chest and throat. None of this made sense what- amorous, what in the hell did that mean?
"I- I don't understand, Damian what are you saying-"
He pressed on, "Just as you told me when saying goodbye, it hurts to see you in such a state-it burns me alive to harm you in any way because- because."
Your throat went dry the confusion beginning to fade, "Damian-"
"Because I am in love with you."
The world went still and you couldn't breathe. His words ringing over and over again in your mind.
Because I am in love with you
I am in love with you
love
A faint shifting sound caused you to let out a breath, air flushing in and out of your lungs.
"You-you... what?"
"I, myself, do not fully comprehend the scope of these... emotions. However, I am not going to deny them any longer."
His voice dropped, and he reached out, taking your hands in his, pulling you in closer.
"I am in love with you, when I heard you say that you felt the same and-and that I had hurt you. It nearly destroyed me. Especially since I could not fix my mistake. Especially because I could not comfort you. I could not even see your face. But your voice- I heard all the pain and sorrow I had caused." He released your hands and cupped your face pressing his forehead against yours, "Knowing I had done that in an attempt to keep you safe- that it was all my fault... I have not slept since you left. I have not ate- I have not lived since you left me."
You swallowed heat racing across your cheeks as you met his gaze. That longing you saw earlier burning so much brighter. The regret and sorrow swirling in between his eyes as you felt the tremble in his grip.
"I regret every action of mine that led me here- that hurt you. And I ask you to forgive me for my lunacy-for my arrogance and stupidity."
Head spinning you breathed slowly, confused and-and happy. He- he hadn't betrayed you.
"Seeing you once again-I... " He paused, shifting his grip, "I could not breathe for a moment. You- you were so stunning standing before me.... I understand if you-you feel different, but I beg of you. Please let me stay by your side. I care not if it is in Gotham or here. I- I am certain that without you- without your mere presence I will not survive."
In fact, he was always on your side. Always. He never chose he- it was- it was always you.
He chose you
You
You squeezed your eyes shut, heart hammering in your chest as your eyes burned and something warm slipped down your cheek.
"Oh-ah I- I apologize. I did- I did not intend-"
Something bubbled in your stomach almost making you laugh at his worry and frantic words that happened merely because of a few tears.
"Damian I'm okay," You whispered, opening your eyes seeing the panic on his face as you sniffed, "Happy- these are happy tears."
"oh- I... so you are not angry with me?"
"No- no I'm happy," You replied wiping away your tears, "happy I was wrong, happy you feel the same and-and..."
Damian went still and you pressed your head fully against his closing your eyes.
"I love you Damian, I still do. And- I-i... I accept your apology. It will take time for me to-to be comfortable once again but... I am willing to try-try at something more."
Opening your eyes, you felt your face flush even darker as you could see the pure and utter joy on his face. He leaned in and you did as well, eyes beginning to flutter when there was a crash of sorts.
Your eyes flew open, and you found just a few feet away from where you and Damian sat was now a hole. A gaping hole that led outside-into the clear open air and warmth. Just outside of the hole a figure floated faint streams of light catching to reveal colors to you.
Red and Blue.
Weakly laughing you raised a hand, "uh, ha, Hey Supes."
There was silence for a moment and Superman floated into the small alcove of rubble and dust. He looked at the two of you and raised an eyebrow.
"Are you both alright?"
You nodded slowly before hesitating, "Uh no- no."
You turned to Damian who was very pale and clinging to you. Swallowing you gestured to his leg turning back to Superman.
"His leg- it got caught under some stuff when we got stuck here. I think it might be broken or something."
There was a moment of silence before Superman flew closer to the two of you and in a second, he had pulled the two of you into his arms.
It was a matter of moments before you were outside, the sun bright as he set the two of you down. Pointing towards the paramedics nearby.
"You can get help there."
"Thank you!" You said with a smile as you grabbed onto Damian's arm.
Superman nodded with a smile before taking off, probably to help others. Damian half shuffled towards you wincing slightly and you began to reach for him when he said under his breath,
"And here I was desiring the opportunity to rescue you."
A heat rushed over you, and it almost seemed as if your body moved on its own. Your hands grabbing the collar of his shirt as you pulled him to you, pressing your lips against his.
There were a few moments, with your lips pressed against his, where nothing happened. Then, in an instant, with a wince of pain and body shaking, he grabbed onto your arm and kissed you back.
Heart, hammering you pulled away, almost panting as a slight feeling of regret coating your throat. Looking at his face you found a dazed look and released his shirt. Almost instantly he began tumbling towards the ground. Arms shooting out you captured him, pulling him close.
He winced muttering curses as he used your shoulder to pull himself up. Looking around you found people staring phones up and lights flashing.
"Oh shit," you whispered.
Damian shifted and you realized he wanted to move. Slowly walking half carrying him you began your trek towards the paramedics. Leaning against you he began muttering things,
"They will be relentless in their mockings for months."
Rolling your eyes, you steadied him, his head resting on your shoulder as you moved closer to the paramedics.
"Is it, all of this, the teasing and pain... is it all worth it?"
Shifting so he could look at your you he smiled, eyes locked on your face a soft and warm gaze- so heartfelt and yearning as he replied,
"If I am with you? Always."
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#batfam#batboys#y/n#reader#damian wayne#batboys x y/n#batboy xy/n#batboys x reader#y/n x damian wayne#damian wayne x y/n#reader x damian wayne#damian wayne x reader#Jon Kent#reader x robin#robin x reader#robin#angst#fluffy#part two#I hope yall enjoy this#Twas tempted to end it with the building collapsing#But Im not *that* mean#sister slander#if you go back through part 1 after part 2 there may or may not be some things that lead up to what happens in part 2#hehehehe#redhead batgal#She's So Gone#requested#twas planned from the beginning#seeing all yall freak was great
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