#i was like ‘i genuinely don’t know’. it turned out she meant spaghetti carbonara. i went and it was good but why this

[fingertipsmp3]

Lads. How do I defrost hot dog sausages. Can I defrost hot dog sausages? Should I even have frozen them in the first place??

[sunshineandbeyblade]

Birthday Cake - Shu x reader

Word count: 3,110 Warnings: a little bit of angst in flashbacks A/N: I wrote this whole thing in one day. Today. So Shu’s fifteen today. And no I didn’t edit this yet. Enjoy. Vibe songs for flashbacks: “Soon You’ll Get Better” and “It’s Nice to Have a Friend” both by Taylor Swift.

You slipped into the room. A quick look around confirmed it. No one was there. A sigh of relief was let out. It was a good thing the spare keys worked. Within the large room, you followed where the kitchen was with your eyes and walked there. You felt small in the room. Your footsteps much louder than usual.

One step into the kitchen and you froze. It looked like it was out of a magazine, yet somewhat familiar. Your eyes fell downward and you let out a small laugh. Of course Valt would give you the spare keys to have you sneak into Shu’s penthouse in New York so you could make him a birthday cake.

Valt would be there too, and the others, for the surprise party. He was so upset when Shu said that he needed to keep training and that he couldn’t break his promise to his team. After all, you only turn fifteen once. Of course, that was always Valt’s excuse for a party for Shu. “You only turn thirteen once!” “You only turn fourteen once!” Then again, fifteen was a big number. A smile with sad eyes was thrown onto your face as nostalgia hit you like a wave. You couldn’t believe it had been about four years since you befriended him and the bey club.

You remembered it like it was yesterday, being in the same class as him. Giving secretive glances to him. … Maybe you had the slightest crush on him at the time. Nothing big, just puppy love. Always being on the sidelines. Eleven year old heart fluttering. But you’d never do anything. Just stare and hope one day something would randomly happen.

And then that one day…. You had a group of friends. A few girls in it were from class while a few others were from another school and new a girl in your class. One of those girls from the other school was the mean one. It was mostly only her. Though the others never seemed to mind. You never understood why, but you assumed you were just overreacting and being too sensitive. Besides… they were your only friends.

But you had gone to a sleepover with them. You just stayed quiet as they talked about different school stories, shows, and celebrities. Eventually they got onto the topic of Shu, because his victory at the district tournament meant he was famous in town. And it turned out… nearly all of them had a crush on him, or at least found him hot. Even the girls from the other school. They began talking about what it would be like if he liked them back and who he would like back out of all of them.

With a small voice, you had spoken up, “What about me?”

Unfortunately, the rude girl was the one to respond.

“C’mon! You know he’d never like you. You never even talk.”

With that your mind blank. They immediately moved on in the conversation, like you didn’t exist at all. You felt nothing, yet tears began to prick beneath your eyes. The world just seemed broken when it shouldn’t have hurt at all. Especially if it was true.

You quietly excused yourself to go to the bathroom. Only one acknowledged you with an ‘okay’. You tried to cry as quietly as you could, just in case someone might overhear you. Even after a few minutes, you didn’t feel like returning. Not with red eyes. Not when you needed time. Maybe you could just slip out and take a walk. They wouldn’t miss you anyway.

You quietly left the house and ran. You had no idea where you were running to. You just stopped somewhere, leaned against the concrete wall, and cried. You wouldn’t have run out like that when you were older, but you were upset and you knew the town fairly well. You knew how to get back and you needed space.

You sat there for probably a few minutes. You really had no idea how long really. Time flows strangely when you wallow in sadness and your spiraling thoughts. It felt like the worst day

“Are you okay?” The first real act was of kindness that was extended to you that day.

You stared up to meet red eyes. But they weren’t red from sadness, they were the beautiful, natural eye color. They were filled with a blend of concern and curiosity. You recognized them. It suddenly occurred to you that you had stopped to cry just a few meters away from a public bey stadium. You would have jumped up in surprise, but you didn’t have the energy. You did have the energy to fake a smile and pretend everything was fine, though.

“Hey, Shu.” You wiped your eyes.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Uh, nothing much,” you lied with the smile still plastered on you face, hoping it would conceal the truth.

He tilted his head to the side, ever to slightly revealing the scar on his face. “I don’t want to push you, but I can tell that everything’s not fine. Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it? I can just leave you alone if that’s what you really want.” He took the white towel that was on his shoulder and let it hang in his hand.

“I…” You had intended to keep the act up, but you cracked. Maybe it was the thought of being left alone. You curled in on yourself and stared down. “Some of my friends were mean to me.”

He seemed to stand up straighter and his eyes widened. “Really?”

You nodded.

“Are they usually like that?”

“Well. Actually it’s just this one girl. But the rest of them don’t really pay attention to me.” You looked up. Then suddenly realized you might have said too much. After all, why would he want to hear about some random girl’s problems. “But it’s fine.” You put a smile back on.

Sadness leaked into his expression. “I’m really sorry to hear that.” He began to get down on his knee to get to your eye level. “If you want-“

“SHUUU!!!” A loud voice caused you to jump and him to stand up.

“Over here, Valt” Shu called.

A short boy with spikey blue hair and a beyblade vest came barreling in. He panted as if he had run a marathon.

“Shu! Why weren’t you training? I thought we were going to have a battle- Oh, hey! Haven’t I seen you somewhere?” Valt looked down at you.

“In class.”

“Oh, that’s right! Thanks, Shu!”

“No problem.”

“So, what are you doing here? Do you want to battle too?” He had a huge smile. Completely oblivious of what you had been crying just moments before.

“I… don’t have a bey.”

“Well you can just watch then! Did you know that I have a bey club? Oh, I’m Valt by the way. What’s your name?

And that was the beginning.

Of course, you got a scolding from your mother for leaving the sleepover without telling anyone, but you got over it. It didn’t matter. And ever since then, making friends with them, you felt happy. You felt your self confidence returning. And eventually they got you into blading.

Was it the best day or worst day? Maybe just the best memory and worse memory.

Before you could successfully leave the flashback, you went into another one. Another one of your best memories. Valt had been introducing you to the Xander and the Sword Flames and saying how you had been talking to Shu when you met him.

“and they were… what were you guys doing?” He turned to both of you.

You shrunk in on yourself. You hadn’t said much and it felt strange for all eyes to suddenly be on you.

“I had seen her by the stadium,” Shu calmly said.

“What were you doing there?” the guy in green with a cold expression, who you'd later learn was Yugo. “You don’t have a bey, right?”

“She was…” Shu hesitated.

“I was just walking by.” You planted a sudden burst of enthusiasm into your voice. One that was very different from your previous quiet, shy mood.

“But you were sitting on the ground,” Valt pointed out.

“Oh, I was just tired from walking so long.” Your happy disposition felt so fake to you. A shield that covered you that no one could see through. “Nothing big.” But you were wrong, one person did see.

Shu stared at you, then back at everyone else. “One second, I think I forgot my water bottle. Wanna come?” Shu asked you.

“Oh, okay.”

“Why do you do that?” He said once out of earshot and view.

It caught you off guard. “What do you mean?”

“You just suddenly started acting different.”

“What do you mean?” You repeated.

“I mean that you suddenly started acting happy and like nothing was wrong.” Annoyance began leaking into his voice.

"But you weren't fine when it happened. You were crying. I get why you might not want people to know that, but not why you're trying so hard to pretend everything's fine and try to change your personality."

“Yeah...I really was fine. Nothing bad.” You kept the smile on, even when the rush of memories came back to you. The feeling that no one would ever like you for you. The feeling that no one would want to be your friend. That they only hung around you to be nice.

“Why do you always do that?!” he burst, raising his voice to the point you jumped back. "You always say that it's 'nothing'. You don't have to be okay all the time. Just pretending and pushing it aside will only hurt you." He took a deep breath. "I understand that you aren't comfortable with sharing it with some people. But you also need to be true to yourself instead of trying to convince other people and yourself that you're happy all the time. It's okay to have struggles or have other emotions." He stared at you.

It took a second to process this. It was a strange feeling, but you felt... a little better. Like you were seen. He was the first person who noticed in a while. And it felt... nice. You felt yourself relaxing. "Thanks."

He put his hand on your shoulder "Just remember you can tell someone."

You let out a laugh. "Says the guy who pretended his arm wasn't hurt."

He gasp, then laughed. The most genuinely happy, amused laugh you had ever heard from him. "Hey."

You giggled from the memory as you put the box of cake mix onto the counter.

Shu had set everything so it looked like the kitchen he had constantly cooked in the past. You remembered when you'd watch, and sometimes help, him make spaghetti carbonara. The fact how he was so good at cooking didn't help your crush at the time. It would sometimes annoy him how everyone wanted more, but you saw the content look on his face as he made it. It was always delicious and one of your best memories.

But that crush thing was in the past! You hadn’t felt that in years… well… it’s true it seemed to go away for a few years but… it was confusing. You know what? You shook your head. No. No. You didn’t have any feelings for him. He was just a friend and wouldn’t ever like you back even if you did.

You pulled out a bowl and set it on the counter confidently. Maybe a little harder than you meant to because a bang resounded in the solid kitchen walls and within the bowl. Part of you would have been comfortable if you just bought a cake somewhere else and brought it there, but Valt said that a homemade cake would be the best way to show appreciation for Shu and that it would be easier if it was already there.

"If it's easier, why don't you come here and make it," you muttered. Then you remembered Valt's cooking skills and change your mind.

Valt had gotten more mature in the past four years, but sometimes you swore he was the same kid as before. But maybe you liked that sometimes. And sometimes it was annoying since you had trouble saying no even if it was an inconvenience to you. Times like this.

"Where does Shu keep the mixer again?" You dug through the cabinets, then on the ones on floor level. Even if it looked similar to that old kitchen, you still didn't know where everything was. You would have to use some of his kitchen supplies, but you promised you'd wash them before he got back.

"The bottom cabinet, two to your left."

You hit your head on the top the cabinet you had stuck your head in. Turning while rubbing your head, you spotted Shu standing in the entrance for the kitchen. It was amazing how tall he was now.  

"Uhhh. Hey, Shu!"

"What are you doing in my kitchen?" His expression remained ever calm.

"Nothing."

He raised his eyebrow. "I doubt it's nothing if you have cake mix and you're looking for the mixer." He closed his eyes and smiled, "Let me guess, Valt set you up for this."

"Errr, yeah."

"Here. Let me help you." He grabbed the box, the bowl, and a spoon. "You actually don't need a mixer if you're just going to use a cake mix. You only need it if you make it from scratch."

"Oops." You laughed awkwardly. But Shu just continued with a smile on his face.

He looked at the back of the box and began getting out the ingredients. There was silence as you took turns putting the ingredients into the bowl.

"Why did you come back so early? I thought Valt told me you were going to train."

"I realized I forgot something and came back to get it. Then I heard something in the kitchen."

"But don't you have to train with you team? I don't want to hold you up," you said.

"We already had our training session in the morning. I was going to get some more in for myself, but I can do this now. I have the time."

"But you shouldn-"

"When are Valt and the other going to get here for the surprise party?" He asked without even looking over.

"Uh, an hour or so. How did you know? It was supposed to be a surprise. Y'know, kinda takes the surprise out of the surprise party." You waved your hands around for emphasis.

He laughed. "I was. Just when I saw you in the kitchen trying to make a cake it clicked."

"You're too smart for your own good."

The corners of his mouth lifted even further. "Can you grab a pan for the cake over there?" He pointed.

"Sure." You turned on your heels to where he pointed. After some clattering, you found one that looked about the right size. "Hey, is this the right-" you spun and began to run up when you realized he was suddenly in your face.

His surprised expression probably mirrored yours and you accidentally backed up into the counter. It was hard to ignore the heat rushing to your face, or that fact that you almost had a head on collision with your friend and one of the top bladers in the world.

"Oops. Sorry, I didn't hear you walk up to me," you apologized. How did this happen in such a big kitchen?

"It's okay. Just be careful. I think this looks good. Good job!" He took it out of your hands and set it down next to the bowl.

"Pfft. You're doing most of the work. I haven't done much at all."

"That's not true. You helped put the ingredients in." He used a spatula to scoop the batter that was sticking to the bowl into the pan.

You rolled your eyes. "Still not much."

"Still helping."

He placed the cake into the oven. You both just stood and stared at the orange light through the glass like camp fire. A comfortable silence fell over you.

A bing interrupted the silence. You opened up your phone. A huge grin spread on your face. "Ha. Valt's running late. Apparently getting balloons took longer than he thought."

"Sounds like him," Shu confirmed.

"I wonder if he's going to come bursting through the door in, like, thirty minutes saying, 'Sorry I'm late, guys' all out of breath." You did your best impersonation of Valt, but struggled from laughing every other word.

This got a chuckle out of Shu. "That's Valt. But for all of his flaws, he's a great friend."

"He sure is." Your smile grew. "I never thought I would have friends like you. It's really been great. I've loved every second of it.”

You stared down. Deep in thought.

"Thanks."

"Huh. For what?"

"Just being my friend and talking to me four years ago. I don't know what I would have done if I never met you or the rest of the bey club. That was basically the start of everything good in my life. I got real friends and a place where I could be myself. You were the start of that. Thank you." You stared at him. Right now you felt like an open book. Laying yourself out in front of him with no lies and simple, beautiful truth.

His gaze softened. "You're welcome."

You both hung out. Sometimes in content silence and sometimes talking. Shortly before time you had to take the cake out was when the rest of the bey club started to arrive. It had been a while since you last saw all of them in person. Especially in one place. It was fun chatting with them.

In what felt like no time, the timer went off and you and Shu excused yourselves to go into the kitchen to get it. Just as he set the cake down, there was a slam and a yell reverberated.

"Sorry I'm late, guys!"

You held your mouth to keep from cracking up and both of you looked at each other with a grin.

"Well, there's Valt."

"Yep."

"Why don't we talk to everyone while we wait for the cake to cool down and decorate it?" you suggested.

"Sounds good."

"Thanks again. This was fun."

"You're welcome." His hand somehow found its way into yours as they relaxed by your sides. He gave yours a quick, comforting squeeze, like a pulse, before letting go again and walking out to everyone else.

[beeexx]

I uploaded this to ao3 too if you wanna read it there.

Takes place during 2x04. Just a missing moment of what Alex was thinking of before and after his talk with Michael. Also featuring Alex and Kyle bonding some more.

-----

Alex used to live for silence. Silence usually meant an empty house, with his dad gone for the evening, always with the threatening promise of being back of course (never forget it Alex, drilled into him at a young age), but it gave him a moment where he was allowed to be. Just be him, without walking on eggshells and constantly scared of overstepping some made up boundary his dad had come up with him. But the peacefulness of silence that he used to crave growing up had been eroded off him during the years of service. It was never quiet anywhere he went, he was always surrounded by his squadron and when he wasn’t, wherever he was stationed, the bases were never quiet either. Silence is something he has had to get used to again, and he is struggling with it still. His hyper-awareness to his surroundings is constantly on edge when he is alone and he doesn’t always know how to relax around it. 

Which is what he has been since he came back to Roswell too. Alone. 

The other problem with silence is that he then has too much time on his hands and when that happens he ends up trapped in his head where his thoughts are on constant loop about things he has spent years suppressing. And they come out, unannounced and catch him off guard. He went to therapy after he lost his leg and he knows what some of his triggers are thanks to his therapist, but Roswell New Mexico seems to bring out new ones he never even knew he had. The other day a movie had been playing on his television while he was absently working on going through some of the files left from Claufield when there was the loud banging of a fist on the table that had sent Alex flinching so hard he had knocked the glass of water off the table and bruised his knuckles in the process. For a moment he was back in his kitchen at the age of 15, his dad’s fist close to Alex’s own hand, looming over him and staring him down. That was his dad’s thing, intimidate him before he struck out, the blow so unexpected Alex never knew when it would come. It had taken him a whole lot more of his breathing exercises to calm him down after that and he had quickly changed the channel to re-runs of FRIENDS instead. 

Alex has wondered if he should write down silence as a trigger too? Because at this rate it might as well be. He had zoned out completely at the grocery store a while back and he really has no clue how long he had been in there, the complete dissonance so strong that he lost track of time completely. Kyle had found him at some point and given him a look that Alex had hated. He had opened his mouth but Kyle had beaten him to it.

“Look man, I’m not pitying you don’t worry. I am however pitying that depressing looking basket, if that’s your excuse for a dinner it wouldn’t surprise me if your basket suddenly wakes up at yells at you in disappointment.”

It had been so unexpected that it had actually made Alex snort in amusement. 

“Yeah I guess you have a point.” He said and looked into the basket which contained a ready made meal and a couple of bears. His only excuse really is that he’s a busy man, he’s spent years in the Air Force and hasn’t really had time to practice any cooking and sometimes he feels the only reason he eats is because he must. 

“What are you doing tonight? Why don’t you come over for dinner. I’m making spaghetti carbonara. I’ve spent years redefining this recipe so I can guarantee it will be the best you have ever tasted.”

Alex was ready to protest. He did not want to be someone’s charity case, especially not Kyle’s.

“If it makes you feel any better I live alone and I haven’t exactly had the chance to sit down and cook a decent meal for a while, if you know what I mean?” Alex had a very clear idea yes. “So I could use the company, and man I think you could too.” 

“I cannot believe you are giving me your puppy dog eyes.” Alex can’t believe it, but Kyle totally are, in the middle of the grocery store. Kyle looks smug, but seems to remember himself and pouts some more.

“Fine.” Alex relents, and he doesn’t really know why, but something shifts inside of him at the look, a throwback to their early friendship, where he was on the receiving end of that look when Kyle needed a favour. Like asking Mrs. Valenti for cookies, because if Alex asked then she would definitely say yes. 

“Yes, great.” And Alex can’t help himself but smile too, because Kyle looks genuinely happy at the thought.

“I can’t believe I’m like Liz now, falling for those eyes.” He mutters.

“What can I say? I have a cute face.”

“You’re not really my type Valenti.” Which is a half truth really, but no one’s ever been his type after Michael anyway, his small crush on Valenti diminishing completely compared to Michael. And he’s moved past that little infatuation anyway, this banter is probably the most action he has gotten since Michael called it off completely. 

“You are wrong there, I am everyone’s type.”

Alex rolls his eyes at the joke because Kyle is actually ridiculous.

But Alex ends up spending the evening at Kyle’s, eating his first home cooked meal in a long time, that turns out to be incredibly good, and has two beers which is more than he normally drinks and almost ends up falling asleep on the couch. He drives home late, shrugging off the offer of staying the night in Kyle’s guest bedroom because he can’t bare it and ends up taking hours to fall asleep in his cold and bare apartment instead. But it had become a thing since, Kyle would text him and ask him over for dinner and after a while Alex couldn’t find a reason why he shouldn’t and he gave in to the part of him that was enjoying the company. It did not take long after that before he started staying over too in the guest bedroom that had a bed way comfier than what Alex had slept on in years and by now he’s basically living with Kyle. Which is not as bad as he’d imagine it would be. They have an unnamed deal really, because Alex has a set of spare keys that Kyle just gave him one morning without saying anything, his nose in his phone and a coffee in his hand and had just left them there, like Alex was supposed to know what to say to that. But they never really said anything about making it official that they do live together, and a distant part of him thinks that’s something you do. His 16 year old self would never believe his ears if he’d been told that in the future he would be sharing at least one hot meal a day with Kyle Valenti he would have laughed. But Kyle really isn’t half bad to live with to be honest. He’s tidy, but not crazily. He cooks, and he works out and he is a bit of a workaholic, which Alex definitely is too. And he’s constantly moving, barely ever sitting still. He’s always tinkering with something. In so many ways he is like Michael in that regard, constantly on the move and surrounded with an energetic vibe. Alex doesn’t hate that. He kind of enjoys it, because it means it’s never silent. Deep down Alex is an introvert, and Kyle is definitely not. But years of being in the Air Force has of course left its traces and Alex really doesn’t mind the energetic presence of Kyle these days. It’s comforting. 

But it says something of the state Alex is in now that he didn’t drive back after the day he’s had to Kyle’s apartment, but instead to his own, which he does go to from time to time, but very rarely these days. The day with Michael, looking for clues about Nora, hasn’t been too bad. Yet Alex feels rough. Because the problem with the silence around him now though is that it screams Michael. He’s been pacing his living room since he got back, staring at the piece of consol he’s left on the small table, trying to sort out his racing mind. In his youth his father had tried to drill hatred into him, he very nearly succeeded at times, but Alex came out the other end of that surviving the cruel abuse. But right now, after learning the pain and damage his family has caused Michael’s, he feels that hatred towards himself and his family burn strongly within himself. He wishes his legacy wasn’t this brutal war, this history of violence he has inherited unwillingly. He doesn’t want to be a Manes if this is what it means. 

He knows he has to do something though. Fix a little part of what his history has broken. 

He grabs the console and gets into the car.

-------

Alex has walked away from Michael many times before. Most of those times it had never felt like the right choice. Not until today. Today, he knows with his whole heart that walking away was the right choice to make. Because now it is abundantly clear to him that Michael really deserves better than him. The last months Alex has still secretly clung to it that maybe they could, with a little bit of distance find their way back to each other, he just knows now that that is not going to happen. Alex will not let it happen. Because his family is toxic and dangerous and they have already hurt Michael too much. Giving back the console, which he knows he should have done months ago, is kind of like a parting gift from Alex to him. Now too, with everything he knows he feel incredibly selfish that he didn’t give it to him earlier, because what kind of person was he who wanted to keep a part of Michael to himself? The reason too, even when he had said why to Michael had felt pathetic. Even though it was the truth. He didn’t want him to go. But Michael was never really his to keep either. And staking a claim on him was not the right way to handle it. Alex’s always been unable to think clearly with Michael around him. That’s the reason why he’d put him in danger when they were teenagers and why he kept making the same mistakes over and over. Strangely enough he feels clear headed now and maybe that comes with him actually being honest with himself.

He does not deserve Michael.

Michael deserves better than him.

His hands stopped shaking a while ago, with the look Michael had given him before he had left, haunting him the whole drive back. He couldn’t seem to shake it, however badly he wanted. The smile had fallen off Michael's face completely when he had heard that Alex had kept this from him. The look on his face unreadable, and after he had reassured him that what happened in the past wasn’t Alex’s fault, the betrayal felt much worse. Alex had clung to the console in desperation, but he had given it back in hopes that it could smooth over parts of the violent past. He hopes that it is a start of something at least.

He feels clear headed and lucid though, even if parts of him also feel like shit. It was a strange combination and he’s probably been sitting out in this car for close to an hour. He’s just not had the energy to walk up to Kyle’s apartment looking the way he probably does and explain why. He really didn’t feel like having an emotional talk with Kyle Valenti about his feelings for Michael. No thanks, he’d pass on that forever. But he can’t sit in here forever and his hands are getting cold and with the lowering temperature comes to pain of his prosthetic that he needs to take off. So he sighs, rubs at his reddening eyes and tries to hide his inner turmoil that is threatening to undo him. It’s simmering just under the surface, he can really feel it. When he unlocks the door he expects to be bombarded with Kyle’s reprimanding voice of skipping dinner. Instead the whole flat is dark, except for the TV that has been left on. Nothing is playing, just the blue background that paints the room in a haunting colour. Alex doesn’t like the artificiality of it. On the sofa Kyle lays, with a bottle of alcohol by his side, staring into the wall. 

Okay, this was not what Alex was expecting. 

“Erm Kyle?” He asks, a little uncertain. Kyle jumps about a mile in the air, and it is kind of comically how he ends up sprawled on the ground, groaning, but clearly alive.

“Man, not cool.” He makes no move to get up, which means something is clearly wrong.

“What’s wrong?” Alex asks because he’s sometimes nice to Kyle, he sits down on the sofa.

“I’ve had a day and half.” He mutters and moves to take another drink. Alex swiftly moves it away from him and holds it out of reach.

“Hey!”

“Talk first drink later.” Alex says and pats the seat beside him. Kyle groans loudly but does get up, he’s steady which means he’s probably not had that much to drink.

“I just… it’s really pathetic, god.” He snorts to himself. 

“Try me.”

“Promise not to laugh at me.” 

“Yes.” Alex hopes he can keep that promise, this situation really is odd even to him.

“Why didn’t Liz choose me?” Kyle sounds dejected and sad. It’s an unusual look on him.

Oh. Oh. Alex sighs and very slowly reaches forward to place a hand on his shoulder, trying to offer comfort. He’s never been good with his words but Kyle seems to need to the comfort. But honestly Alex never thought that he and Kyle would be in the same situation at the age of 28, it’s ironic but it doesn’t make him feel good about it either. Alex thinks of the olive branch Kyle had extended to him in the bunker and makes up his mind.

“I don’t know Kyle. We can’t make people love us. Even if we want that above anything else.”  

Kyle looks at him for the first time, really looks at him. Alex takes his own swing of alcohol, letting it burn down the sour feeling in his throat. 

“You have first hand experience in this?”

Alex thinks about lying, because he doesn’t want to talk about it. He stares into the wall in front of him.

“Michael chose Maria over me, and even now I can’t even say I blame him for it.”

“Shit, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“I guess we finally have something in common.” He snorts. Kyle laughs and takes the bottle of alcohol back from him. He eyes it and then hands it back.

“I promised I’d have breakfast with my mother tomorrow. This seemed like a good idea a few hours ago. Now though, maybe not.” He gives it back to Alex. The turmoil is still simmering underneath Alex’s veins, but the alcohol seems like a really bad excuse even to him. He looks at Kyle, who looks sad. Alex feels bad for him, he does.

“So what do you want to do then?” Alex asks.

Kyle shrugs. “Let’s just sit here for a while.”

Alex nods. He can do that.

[mr-chrisevans]

Meet Cute - pt. 5

Word Count: 1,617

First Chapter | Last Chapter | Next Chapter

For the first month of our relationship, everything felt blissful. I barely thought about the whole fame thing because as long as we were together it didn't matter. The amount of time we spent together that first month was bordering on excessive. I'd never had a relationship with someone where being with them didn't feel like a chore. It was scary and exhilarating all at the same time.

One weekend Estelle had to go home for a family event that she spent the entire week before complaining about, so Chris and I had the whole apartment to ourselves. I spent that entire Friday morning cleaning the apartment before he got there. I still wanted to hold up the image that I was a well put together adult. I had even planned out a dinner for us to make together to boost my girlfriend points. Just as I was putting the finishing touches on my pristine living room Chris buzzed up from the front door. "I have arrived bearing gifts." His voice crackled through the speaker.

"Oh, what is it?"

"It's a surprise." He laughed. "Buzz me in and you'll find out."

"Fine, I guess." I joked and let him inside. When I opened the door he was standing outside with flowers and a bottle of wine.

"I know its cliche but it felt fitting for our first official weekend together."

I laughed and pulled him inside. "I love it, cliches and all." I gave him a kiss and lead him inside.

"You know, this place feels a lot different without Estelle eyeing me down the whole time."

I laughed, taking the flowers from him and walked into the kitchen to find a vase. "She's just very protective. Kind of like a dog, she has to sniff you out before she can really trust you."

"I guess it's a good thing I always remember deodorant." He joked.

"I think I just physically cringed at that joke."

"They can't all be winners I guess."

We opened the bottle of wine and talked for a while before deciding we should probably start cooking before it got too late.

"So, what is on the menu for this evening?" He asked.

"All right, so this might have been an ambitious choice on my part," I started, pulling up the recipe on my laptop, "but I thought spaghetti carbonara would be a good idea."

"You picked the perfect meal for me to showcase my Italianness." He joked and got up from his seat to start collecting all the ingredients with me. We didn't talk a whole lot while we were cooking, but it was a comfortable silence. I let him take over for a while while I drank my wine. "You're doing a lot of staring over there." He winked at me.

"Just admiring the view." I joked. "I'm really starting to understand why casting directors love you." He laughed and returned to cooking leaving me to admire him once again.

After dinner, we sat on the couch watching tv. It was so domestic and I never thought I'd really be into that sort of thing, but with him it felt so right. I turned to look at him and caught him looking back at me. "Whatcha looking at there?"

"Just you." He said. There was something in his eyes and I could tell exactly what he wanted.

"Well," I said leaning into the moment, "do you like what you see?"

"Oh, I do." He paused the tv and leaned back to me, gingerly placing a kiss on my neck. He whispered into my neck, "I definitely do," and I felt goosebumps form all over my body. I placed my hand on his jaw and guided his face back up to mine. I hovered my lips over his for a second just to tease him but he wasn't having any of it and quickly pressed his lips against mine. He started gently then separated my lips with his tongue. I knew he was a great kisser but this was so much more intense. He grabbed my leg and pulled me so I was straddling him on the couch. His hands quickly found their way to my ass. The man knew what he liked.

"Before we get too carried away," I said as I pulled back for a moment. "Estelle would kill me if we had sex on this couch."

He chuckled a bit. "Point taken." He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him as he made his way to my room.

*****

I woke up the next morning to sunlight streaming through the blinds in my room. Chris had his arm draped over my side and I could feel his chest rising and falling slowly. Trying not to wake him up, I turned slowly to face him. The sunlight fell gently on his face and if it was possible he was even cuter while he slept. It felt like I was in a movie. He started to shift a little and opened his eyes slowly. He smiled and brushed my hair away from my face. "Goodmorning babe." His voice was hoarse from sleep.

"Morning." I said and placed my hand on his chest as he pulled me closer to him. "How does breakfast sound?"

"Maybe we could lay here for a while longer. You're just so nice to wake up to." I nestled into his chest in agreement. The feeling I had in that moment is hard to describe but I'm pretty sure that was the moment I really started to fall in love with him. I never stopped falling for him but I'm pretty sure that's where it started.

We finally decided it was time to get out of bed and actually be people. I threw on some clothes and made my way to the kitchen to make us some breakfast. As I grabbed the eggs from the fridge he came out from the bedroom in sweatpants, no shirt. Even when he didn't try he looked amazing. "My own personal chef, I could get used to this."

"I don't know if chef is the right word to use here but I appreciate the sentiment." I smiled at him as I started cooking.

"Well, what can I do to pull my weight here?"

"If you wanna boil some water for tea that would be perfect."

"Yes chef." He said and kissed my cheek. Domesticity looked good on him.

That day we barely left the apartment. Having each other's company was really all we needed. Chris had told me a while ago that he would have to leave soon to start filming for a new project so having as much time together as possible seemed to be the most important thing at the time. While we were sitting on the couch my phone buzzed but I chose not to answer it. Then it buzzed four more times after that and Chris picked it up and handed it to me. "Seems kind of important." I sighed and took the phone from him. I had gotten five messages from my brother.

Mason

Hey

Are you busy right now?

I need to talk to you!

LAUREL!!!

ASAP!!!

"Who is it?" He asked clearly curious.

"My brother. He's freaking out about something," I said rolling my eyes. Mason had a flare for drama. "I'm gonna call him really fast and see what's up." I got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen.

Mason picked up almost immediately. "So is there something you've been neglecting to tell me?"

"Hello to you too, Mason." I laughed.

"Yes, hello. I love you. Are you dating Chris Evans?"

I paused for a second. "What?"

"Mom sent me a picture of a magazine she saw at the grocery and it's so obviously you sitting with him." I didn't know what to say. My heart sank. This was the one thing I had hoped wouldn't happen, but it did. And so fucking soon too. "You still there?"

"Yeah, sorry." Chris had turned his attention over to me and could tell something was wrong. "Do you think we could talk about this later? I'm a little busy right now."

He could tell that I was getting worked up and knew not to push it. "Yeah of course. Call me when you're free." We said goodbye and hung up. I left my phone on the counter and sat back down with Chris.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, it's fine." I tried to say it casually but it didn't work.

"You wanna tell me what's actually going on?"

I didn't want it to ruin our moment but it seemed like it already had. "Apparently my mom saw a picture of us together in a magazine."

Chris paused for a second trying to think of the best way to go about this. "Laurel I'm so sorry I honestly didn't think people would jump onto this so fast."

"Don't apologize, it's not your fault." I tried to sound as reassuring as possible, but I'm not sure it worked.

"Yeah, but I know that this is what you were worried about and I just wish I could've done something about it." He looked genuinely upset about this. The last thing he wanted was for me to feel like my privacy was gone.

As much as what Mason told me freaked me out, I wasn't gonna let it ruin this. I cared about Chris. I cared so much it was overwhelming. "It's okay. I can get over it and I'm not gonna let this fuck up what we have."

I felt his tension ease a little. "Are you sure?" He asked.

"Of course."

I meant it.

[tailsbeth-writes]

Always the Sidekick - Prose

I wrote this piece for a genre fiction class at university, it’s a romantic short story. It’s one of the few stories I’m actually quite happy with and might even consider continuing.

Word Count: 2609.

The park had well and truly taken autumn in. Across the wet grass, lay leaves in shades of brown and yellow. The smell of pumpkin spice lattes was in the air, it really was the best time of year. Today my wellington boots had been taken on their first outing; their traditional green didn’t particularly coordinate with my red rain mac. However, I could not care less as my appearance was not my speciality. With my mousy brown hair complete with blunt fringe to my milk bottle glasses, I was not what you’d call typically attractive. I was content with my lot though, as long as I could get to my favourite bench with a notebook and pen, I was happy.

It was the best spot for people watching, it was right in the middle of the park. To your left was a large pond where children would attempt to feed swans and nearly kill them and to your right were the multi-courts where men would make fools of themselves on a daily basis in an attempt to woo the opposite sex, usually with dire results. I sat there for my lunch hour and marvelled at the awesomeness of humanity before my best friend Jenny arrived. I love her to pieces but thanks to her gorgeous good looks, my favourite bench became the viewpoint of frenzy for the sporting lads. She walked up in high heeled boots, a black tulip skirt which extenuated her curves precisely and a white chiffon blouse that didn’t leave much to the imagination. The cherry on top of it all was her blonde wavy hair which bounced lightly with every step.

‘April darling, how are we today?’ I loved the way Jenny spoke, so silly yet sophisticated.

‘I’m pretty excellent, how are you?’

‘So tired, rushed off my feet as usual. Glad to get a break.’

‘I just don’t know how you manage it, I wouldn’t dream of such a busy job.’

‘Well, April my dear, not all of us are content with spending our days in a library.’ Despite Jenny and I being the same age, she’s always spoke down to me a little. I never cared what she said about my job though, I loved it. Her job sounded like an absolute nightmare to me, she worked at a law firm which meant she was always busy and always had to look her best. ‘It’s all about reputation’ Jenny told me time and time again. Whereas at my work, I spent hours sorting out books full of magic and romance, I wore whatever I pleased and I got a full hour for lunch. With those stats, I’d never see the appeal of Jenny’s job.

‘What’s for lunch today then?’ Jenny enquired as usual, looking for the plastic lunchbox.

‘Roast chicken sandwich, last night’s leftovers.’ I handed it over to a starved Jenny.

‘Oh you treat me so well April!’ She declared before she took a huge bite out of the sandwich. From the size of her waist, you’d never guess Jenny had a massive appetite.

‘Are we still doing dinner tomorrow night?’ She asked between bites. Fridays were probably my favourite day. I had a half day at work, I’d pick up sushi as a treat on the way home and then I’d settle down to a good book or a Netflix marathon for the afternoon. The nights were usually planned by Jenny, with her job she managed to blag us theatre ticket most weeks. However, this dinner wasn’t one of our usual Friday nights. It was a set-up, a casual reminder that I was still single and apparently needed to find a boyfriend.

‘Was that tomorrow night? I forgot about that. I might actually be working.’

‘You’re kidding me right? Remember tick tock, you’re not getting any younger pumpkin.’

‘Thanks for that gentle reminder Jen, you aren’t ei-‘

‘April Louise Hollander, you are going to eat dinner with me and some lovely male company whether you like it or not! Trust me; I’m doing it for your own good. Also it’s a work thing, you’d be the bestest for coming.’ I knew there would be some form of blackmail; I was always the sidekick to her little plans.

‘As I’ve told you time and time ag-‘

‘April, just be there.’ She interrupts again. I’ve not paid much attention but she’s finished her sandwich and brushed off the crumbs. I didn’t even bother trying to reply this time.

‘I better get back to the office; they’ll be lost without me. Remember 7 o’clock tomorrow at that fancy Italian place, wear something nice. Ciao darling!’ And with that she marched off on her heels, already screaming orders down the phone.  I had been looking forward to Friday, I was going to marathon Breaking Bad. Now I’d spend the afternoon trolling my wardrobe. Help.

Friday mornings at the library were always fun. A couple of classes from the local primary school would come in and if there wasn’t much work to do I got to help out with the kids. They reminded me of myself at that age, always raring to start a new book. I brought out a table full of new books and they cheered as they scrambled to find the best choice. Their adorable little smiles were enough to make my day. On the other hand, on my bus home I saw a bunch of students glued to their phones and tablets. I understood you could read books on those too but the majority of them were playing addictive games or swiping through possible mates like baboons. What happens to us as we grow up? Does the world of fiction lose its appeal to jabbing away at a piece of plastic and metal? I got off my usual stop and walked a few metres down the road to pick up my Japanese feast of sushi and bubble tea.

My flat was in the building next door, on the third floor. It was small and cosy, ideal for me and my pet fish Oscar, named after Mr Wilde of course. Normally I’d have got straight into my pyjamas, unluckily I had to choose a suitable outfit for Jenny’s high standards. Queue a clichéd montage of chucking clothes around my bedroom. Fashion was never my thing; I was about comfort and practicality not designer labels. I reckoned simple and elegant-ish was my best bet. As I turned to the mirror, I imagined an eagle-eyed Jenny staring back at me.

‘Are you really going to wear that tonight? Why do you even own that?’

‘I don’t actually care Jenny.’

‘Well you obviously care my dear; otherwise you wouldn’t be imagining me in your mirror now, would you?’ I let a little frustrated scream out. Imaginary or not, Jenny did have a point though. I did care. I’ve seen the looks of disgust that Jenny’s colleagues give me when I turn up to a champagne party in my doc martens and no make-up. This time it was almost like a date, she’d mentioned male company. I hadn’t had a boyfriend since university, three years ago. I genuinely did want to try, while I had Hermione’s smarts, I unfortunately didn’t have Emma Watson’s good looks. Tonight was going to be different; I ran out to Primark and bought a little black dress. I braved my contact lenses and risked burning my hair with my straighteners. Make-up wasn’t my best friend, but I tried my hardest to not make it look like war paint. I, of course, made a few April-esque touches, a deathly hallows necklace and forest green brogues. It might have just been a dinner date but as I gazed in the mirror, I could have been ready for a ball.

I definitely preferred London at night time. The twinkling street lights bounced off the reflective skyscrapers that melted into the indigo sky. My taxi driver wasn’t very chatty which I was thankful for tonight. My mind was too busy buzzing with expectations to talk about the weather.  Jenny would giggle like a school girl over her carbonara at the dashing gentleman opposite her. Meanwhile I’d be enthralled in conversation with a boyishly handsome chap who happens to have a passion for Doctor Who. As I dissolved into my day dreams, I barely noticed the taxi screeching to a halt. Jenny practically pounced on me as I stumbled out the cab into the nippy air.

‘April, my darling, you’re a new woman! Where’s the milk bottles? And are you wearing make-up? I love, love, love it!’ She was grinning from ear to ear at my apparent transformation.

‘Aw, you’re very sweet.’ I felt my cheeks redden as she spoke.

‘I wish you dressed like this more often, speaking of which, where is this delight of a dress from? I never knew you owned such a thing.’

‘Primark, only a tenner actually!’ Jenny’s face dropped in repulsion, the idea of being seen dead in anything less than £50 freaked her out. Her grin returned as she took in my whole look once more.

‘Not my usual taste, but you work it.’

‘You sure I look alright? I’m way out my comfort zone here.’

‘Of course you look alright, more than alright! Do you not think you look fab?’ I had to agree with Jenny. I’d gone through my Cinderella transformation from drab to fab except my fairy godmother came in the form of Primark and YouTube tutorials. I gave her a courageous smile.

‘God damn it, I do look fab Jenny.’

‘Great, glad we can agree on that. The boys said they’re going to be a tad late unfortunately so we’ve just to head inside.’

‘Okay, after you.’ I followed Jenny’s lead. After all the commotion of my new look, I hadn’t taken in Jenny’s outfit for the night. Her hair sat in a subtle up do and a creamy fur shawl sprawled over her shoulders. Her dress was a figure hugging scarlet number, which finished just after the knees and her shoes were a classic pair of black heels. As usual, Jenny looked like an absolute bombshell. I felt rather lucky to be friends with someone so glamourous.

As soon as the restaurant door opened we caught the smell of the incredible menu. Chatter surrounded every table. The place was packed. It was a Friday night in London after all. Everything appeared to be draped in white; the tables, chairs and even the walls. Spaghetti Bolognese was off the menu for me then. We got seated straight away as we had reservations. Jenny briefed me on tonight’s mission; we had to show the representative from this company a good time essentially. He was bringing along an intern which is where I came in, I was the distraction while Jenny spoke business. Whilst this was technically work for Jenny, we agreed we were going to have a good time ourselves. Therefore the first order of the night was cocktails. Our waitress brought over two martinis and we clinked our glasses together.

‘Do you feel like you’re in Sex and the City right now?’ Jenny giggled.

‘You took the words right out my mouth.’

‘I think we could give Carrie and the girls a run for their money frankly.’ We chuckled as sophisticatedly as we could. A joint this fancy didn’t feel like it welcomed belly laughs.

‘Excuse me ladies, I do believe you’ve been waiting for us.’ We looked up from our drinks to see our delicious male company had arrived. Jenny got up to shake their hands.

‘You must be Michael? So nice to finally meet you. This is my friend April.’ Michael stretched a freshly tanned hand over to me, his chocolate coloured eyes slithering into mine. Behind him stood a tall redhead who smiled delicately at us.

‘Nice to meet you girls, this is Eric.’ Eric tottered over and shook our hands. His hands were slightly clammy, nerves were tugging at him.

‘Great to meet you both.’ I drank in his polite expression, it was very welcoming. We all took our seats, Eric sat to my left. His navy cord blazer grazed my skin as it fell on his chair.

‘What are we drinking ladies?’ Michael enquired. Every word was like silky caramel; Jenny stuck to every syllable while it was far too sickly for me.

‘Martinis, we can move onto a bottle of wine if you’d prefer.’ Jenny had to vaguely remind herself this was a professional dinner. Michael had other plans.

‘Of course no, martinis it is! Waiter!’ He glanced around and waved his hand in the air, Eric stared at his lap. He looked as uncomfortable as I felt. A baffled waitress finally came over.

‘Six martinis please!’ Michael demanded.

‘Why six?’ Eric innocently asked.

‘We’ve got catching up to do! It’s Friday night after all!’

‘Christopher Eccleston’s your favourite doctor? Really?’

‘Yup!’

‘Wow, very controversial.’ I sipped my third martini, never losing grip with Eric’s bubblegum blue eyes. They made my insides feel cosy. That could have also been the alcohol. Jenny had gone to sit at the bar with Michael to have shop talk. Her legs stretched in front of the bar stool to keep Michael at a safe distance. She’d got over his caramel tones and was getting to work.

‘So how long have you known Jenny? I wouldn’t say you’re typically matched.’ I rolled my eyes at the world’s most frequently asked question.

‘Most people think the same. We’ve been inseparable since primary school, she shared her dolls with me when nobody else would. I don’t think she quite realised what she’d got into. We’ve been through semesters abroad with nothing but letters to each other and we’re still going. I know she comes across as ridiculous most of the time but that’s part of the magic of Jenny. It’s just kind of amazing that over ten years later, we still meet at a park bench every day for lunch and it’s not boring yet. God, sorry, I’m babbling now!’

‘Nah, don’t worry about it. I think you two are sweet. A bit mad but sweet.’ I looked down at my drink, my cheeks felt rosy. Sensing my awkwardness, he changed subject.

‘Do you have a favourite park bench in mind? I’m a bit of a people watching enthusiast myself.’ My mouth may have gawped open a little. It was like someone had taken my day dreams and moulded them into my perfect man.

‘Seriously? People watching is my favourite thing ever. You know Waverly Park, how the path cuts right through the middle? The bench right next to the pond and multi-courts.’

‘I don’t think I’ve been there, I’ll need to check it out sometime. If you’d let me of course.’

‘Suppose, but I’ll have to share between the hours of 12 and 1 on weekdays.’

‘Those terms are fair enough.’ His endearing gaze turned me to jelly. His movements were careful, his long fingers ever so slightly rubbed up against mine on the table. He picked up my pendant and edged a smile.

‘Harry Potter fan?’

‘Yeah. I must seem like a massive geek with this thing on.’ I mustered hesitantly.

‘Oh really?’ He smirked and got something out of his coat pocket, a wallet with the Hogwarts crest on it. I let out a slight gasp. Eric laughed lightly at my shock. He placed the tattered wallet back in his coat.

‘Massive geeks should stick together, well I think so anyway.’ He declared. Before I even realised, the space between us was gone as he kissed me gently.

‘I could not agree more.’