#i was like oh so there's literally no seniors (they were a small class anyway bc covid lol)

[bsaka7]

how have i not gotten over getting kicked off my xc team over two years ago LMAO. it literally is insane how much this weighs on me lol and it pops up the most random times. i've literally done a sprint triathalon, 2 half marathons (including a PR), ran my second fastest ever 5k time w/out 5k specific training, and a marathon in the time since so it's not like i'm missing having a running life and it's not like i was really into the "team culture" lol. it's just the shame i guess.

[izicodes]

Don't know if you've touched on this topic before, but do you have any advice on dealing with discrimination within comp sci (specifically sexism)? I have bad anxiety and have constant thoughts telling me how I'll never be good enough or don't belong. My brother who is a senior dev has had a passion for computers since a small child while I just developed an interest within the past two years. My family takes his career seriously but then turn around and tell me how great of a secretary I'll be lol. Thanks for your time!

Hiya 💗

Just some background on me: I haven't had any sexist experiences in during my whole journey of learning software development during my apprenticeship and now working as a Junior Web Dev. I'm the only girl in the Dev team (6 of us in total), the only other woman is the Manager of the Dev team but she does databases + business oriented work so she doesn't code at all. I'm the youngest in the team also so they see me as "oh let's teach the kid of the group" kind of thing. So at work I don't feel any type of sexism, the lads are really open to teach me a lot stuff which I am thankful!

I don't know any other irl developers besides work so I'll move on to online. Online I know a lot more women developers; Tumblr, YouTube, Instagram and Twitter (or X whatever it's called). Maybe it's because I've like cultured the content I see to them idk. I'm really glad to have that constantly on my timeline as it inspires me to push and do/become better because if those girlies can do it, so can I.

Though all the teachers/instructors I had were all men, they didn't make me feel small or not worthy to be in Computer Science, they were the opposite and pushed me to do it more. My Dad did Computer Science with CyberSecurity at university and he always pushed me to do computer science when I got older - not force but inspired me to do it (wanted to do medicine but too hard so switched to comp sci/programming)!

So, in my experience, I never had a really bad sexist interaction because I did computer science. People are shocked I am in programming in general but more like "Oooooh that's cool! Didn't know you did that!" kind of thing!

Now, this doesn't mean I haven't seen sexist remarks online, because I have but more through memes. I always ignore. Everyone, man or woman, should ignore such remarks/meme and move on. Don't let a bunch of people determine what you want and what's best for you! If you did, they would be controlling your life and not you yourself.

I don't know if that's easier said than done for you because I'm a hard person on people saying bad things to me. I just ignore you literally. I'm polite yes, but what you will say to me will go through one ear and out the other if it's really negative. Pretty much a "I don't care about your opinion, I will do me anyways" kind of person. E.g. if my brothers were to tell me "oh you a girl, don't do computer science" I won't listen to them at all.

And at the end of the day, what are they gonna do? Will your family members that are saying those stuff to you physically stop you from learning computer science? Especially since it's so accessible online so all you need a is a computer? All around the world, women are leaning computer science one way or another to change their lives and/or the lives around them.

They are making so much effort so for me to say "oh well.. you know some lads in my comp sci class say I can't do comp sci so I shouldn't" or "oh well I don't think learning programming is a woman's thing yknow because it's so dominated by men" - excuse my language here but that's flipping ridiculous!

This isn't some feminist or even anti-feminist thing here, it's a plain simple human thing: proving yourself and even the people around you wrong. Go into it and succeed. You're not too old or too young.

Why are their programs like SheCodes or BGIT (black girl in tech) that are making effort to help women push into tech? There's more women in tech now than there has been ever so if you're a woman and want to go into Tech but some lads are saying no? Do it anyways.

If a company has lads like that in them, that's the company's fault for hiring a sexist non-team player - says a lot about that company.

As humans we are never good enough so just get that out of your mind, less stress. Good enough for a job? all you got to do is keep going out it. Keep learning the theory, keep building the projects, keep redoing your resume and applying for jobs - keep going.

You quit, you let yourself down - especially when programming/ computer science is your calling!

I went on a bit of a rant but I hope some of this helps 🥳👍🏾💗

[megarabane]

JUST SAW YOUR ASK ON HELLSITE-GENETICS AND NEEDED TO SEND YOU AN ASK!! /POS

you are like literally the person i want to be with the bird stuff i absolutely LOVE belted kingfishers they are so pretty. they are also one of my favorite birds (i have too many favorites i cant just pick one) but birds are so smart and their feathers are so cool like omg i love birds

im currently a small senior in highschool/sophomore in college and want more people who like birds in my life :))

anyway whats your favorite thing to study about birds? mine is how smart they are but also like how bluejays have the feathers that reflect the sun to show the blue :))

[id: screenshot of two text messages that say "oh good i get to get [sic] explain this to you" / "you will regret this" followed by the ellipses of someone typing. end id]

FELLOW BIRD ENJOYER SPOTTED

(sad my ask to hellsite-genetics didn't get me a bird tho but i did get the added satisfaction of knowing the goofy goober song is a member of the genus i exalted in my ask so all in all it's a solid win)

let me preface all of this with saying that while a lot of my experience with birds and learning about birds has been in a classroom setting i've also spent *checks watch* three summers now (including this upcoming one) doing field work working almost exclusively with birds in the midwest united states, so honestly a lot of the things i've learned have been incidental knowledge i've obtained working in the field. i'm not an *expert*, i just have a BS in environmental science and a lot of birding experience.

full slapshod essay rant of me going on about birds (edit: i just reread it and good GOD i went on for a while) of me talking about birds below the cut bc i already know this is gonna be far too long but you asked about my favorite thing in the world so this is on you my friend (affectionate)

i'm definitely ENRAPTURED with how smart birds are. They're so fucking intelligent it's almost scary.

since you brought em up imma talk about bluejays first!! i did part of a project my last year of college on bluejays!!

blue jays will often mimic the calls of other birds, esp predators like red-tailed hawks, with such accuracy that even bird id apps like Merlin (shameless plug) will mistake a mimicking bluejay for a real red-tailed. when i was doing audio surveys for northern bobwhites we had to have a separate training day where the only thing we focused on was how to tell if a mockingbird / thrasher / blue jay was mimicking the distinct bobwhite call and how that wasn't to be counted as a sighting.

(in my experience a lot of it has to do with pitch, repetition, and completion of what's considered the 'full song' of the NOBO, since a lot of mimids won't do the 'full song' and will just handpick bits to weave into the rest of their noises. bluejays especially will do this. mockingbirds will sometimes do the full song, but NOBOs have a pretty measurable repetition gap between their songs, at least in the areas we were doing surveys).

i remembered learning in a class that some bluejays will find bird feeders and spy on them, then mimic red-tailed and red-shouldered hawk calls to get the other birds to scatter, so they can then fly down and eat without having to fight for the tastiest bits.

when i was working with birds over the summer, one of the things we did was setting ground traps for mourning doves so they could be banded and then tracked for hunter take (they're a game species in my state). there were always blue jays in those traps. they're so fascinating to see up close, with their heavy bills and tough little feet and they're so full of rage. and they're loud.

also the thing about their FEATHERS - YES. it fucked me up to learn blue jays are naturally brown. iirc it has to do with the way the barbs on their feathers are put together with modified cells, which scatter the light in a special way to make them appear blue. If you get a bluejay feather in your hand it's only blue at certain angles and the undersides are almost usually completely brown unless you hold them in the light just so.

blue jays are part of the family Corvidae so it makes sense why they're so smart, in the family with other birds like ravens and crows.

well i didn't mean to go on for so long about blue jays. they are wonderful tho aren't they?? <3

my favorite thing to study about birds??? hoooooo boy what a question. everything?? is everything an option??

habitat effects on population size and habitat selection at the individual level is fascinating. i've done a lot of work with population studies, basically doing audio-visual surveys (point counts) of how many of x and y and z target species live in this area at a given point in time, then using that data to extrapolate potential population numbers in an area as narrow as a few square miles and as wide as the whole state (i worked for the state department of natural resources so we were focused only on our state obv).

in that effort, using that information to both directly and indirectly learn what environmental factors affect which bird species and how was so so interesting to me, and some of them are things so small we don't even think about them sometimes!! if there's as few as a handful of pine/cedar/evergreen trees in a field or grassland, you're far more likely to find cedar waxwings and indigo buntings, and you rarely see them in areas dominated by deciduous trees. red-winged blackbirds love wetlands, and while they aren't (iirc) specifically wetland-dependent, something as small as a single pond is enough to attract them in droves.

behavior is also such a cool topic to me, which i've learned more and more about just by birdwatching and attending bird-related conferences and working with wildlife biologists.

birds like the brown creeper are bark foragers that almost exclusively move upwards along a tree. they'll start at the bottom and move up, and once they reach a point they deem 'too high', they'll fly to the bottom of the next tree and move up. conversely, birds like nuthatches, still bark foragers, almost exclusively move down trees in the same way - they'll start at the top, forage downwards, and when they reach the bottom, they'll fly back to the top and do it again.

the yellow-bellied sapsucker (woodpecker family), as the name implies, eats a lot of sap, so they drill holes into a tree, like woodpeckers do, but they lay them down in 'bands' that run horizontally around the tree, often with multiple rows on top of each other, leading to a grid-like pattern of shallow holes only an inch or two apart from each other. that's often the best way to figure out where to look for sapsuckers when you're birding!! (apart from actually seeing or hearing the little guy, obv.)

incidentally, i learned that it's really really hard to put backpack trackers on henslow's sparrows, not bc they're so small and hard to catch, but because they're smart enough to realize there's a thing on their back and will, somehow, pull the backpack around to their front and completely mangle it beyond repair, and that's before they chew it off.

god i could go on forever. kestrels. ospreys. owls. nightjars. songbirds. fisherbirds. albatrosses. puffins. kinglets. sparrows. starlings. they're all so good and perfect and wonderful and fascinating and if i could learn everything about all of them forever i would.

in an extremely roundabout way of answering your question, if you're still reading and haven't run for the hills yet, i can't pick just one thing to call my favorite to learn about birds. everything about them is so interesting and makes me so excited to learn and see and talk about.

belted kingfisher lovers unite!

edit: I DIDN'T EVEN TALK ABOUT TURKEYS EITHER I'M DOING TURKEY RESEARCH TOO -

[fantastical-euphoria]

early one school morning, i met my friend bailey by my locker.

i actually knew him through his older sister, blaire, who was my brother’s age. she ran a daycare inside her own home that my little sister went to. and i would always see bailey there whenever i picked her up after school. bailey was a year younger than me, and blaire was a year older than owen, but it didn’t matter.

“sorry i probably smell like a daycare center,” he joked as we embraced.

“all good,” i laughed. “you excited? or more nervous?”

“i guess both?” he shrugged. “i have a good track record of learning layouts of buildings pretty quickly, so considering how small this school is, this is gonna be a cinch.”

“i can help you, you know. that’s what i’m here for.”

bailey chuckled slightly. “i’m fine, riley, i promise.”

“whatever you say,” i rolled my eyes and smirked at him.

then i pulled out my phone and showed him my lockscreen of me and my friends at the pool.

“so these are my friends ava and harper. they’re identical twins.”

“twins, huh? so like… were they born prematurely?” bailey inquired.

i nodded. “yeah, a bit, maybe like a couple weeks.”

“do they have any other siblings?”

i shook my head.

“you know, i was born seven weeks premature. she told me.”

“you sound pretty proud of it,” i laughed. “but so was owen. well, he was only two weeks, actually.”

then i looked back to my phone.

“anyway, these are the girls we’re meeting right before class starts,” i told him, pointing to each. “the girl on the left is ava, she’s the pretty one, but also super obnoxious. and the girl on the right is harper…”

“huh, that’s funny you think that,” bailey mused.

“what do you mean?”

“well, you’ve showed them to me before i think.” he pointed to harper. “and i always thought she was the pretty one.”

my eyes widened slightly. “oh,” i chuckled nervously. “even though she’s got glasses and braces on?”

bailey nodded, smiling. “yeah. why should it matter how you look? i bet she’s got a cute voice, cute laugh,” he pointed to the picture again. “she already has a cute smile.”

“she’s also the shyer of the two,” i noted.

“i see,” bailey nodded slowly. “that’s okay, i’m shy too.”

“you are not shy,” i rolled my eyes.

suddenly ava and harper strolled up to us with their book bags in tow.

“and speaking of not shy…” i murmured.

“hey,” ava immediately turned to bailey, pointing a finger at him. “how come i’ve never seen you before?”

“oh, i’m new here,” bailey explained. “you see, i was homeschooled all my life before my mom moved to ireland. so ever since last summer, i’ve been staying at my older sister’s.”

“nice,” harper smiled at him. “it’s nice to meet you.”

“yeah, you too!” he smiled and shook her hand.

ava immediately went to shake his hand as well.

“and nice to meet you too,” bailey smiled at her. “i heard you two were twins.” he pointed at them both.

“yeah,” ava rolled her eyes and folded her arms, “unfortunately.”

“oh come on,” bailey chuckled, “i don’t see it as a bad thing. you both seem nice.”

“ava is not nice,” harper mumbled, sticking a hand on her hip and flashing her sister a glare.

ava responded simply by sticking her tongue out at her.

“yep,” bailey laughed, “you two definitely are sisters.”

“we know,” ava rolled her eyes again. “anyway, what are you like? tell us a bit about yourself.”

“well, my parents are divorced, but they still keep in touch. they’re still friends.”

“love that,” ava interjected.

“my mom moved to ireland, my dad moved near a golf club, he now has a girlfriend named erica. my owns a yacht. and he’s an orthopedic surgeon. oh, and he also plays golf, obviously. both he and the girlfriend, actually.”

“love that,” ava interjected again.

“does your mom have a boyfriend?” harper asked.

“no, she’s done being married,” bailey laughed. “erica, my dad’s new woman, literally went to school with my sister blaire. she was a senior when blaire was a freshman. oh, yeah, and blaire runs a daycare in her house, where i live now. it’s called lossa love daycare. cause that’s our last name, lossa.”

“creative!” ava remarked. “i love that.”

“you love everything,” i shook my head and rolled my eyes at her.

“are you single?” ava asked bailey.

“well, it’s funny you say that, cause there’s this cute little girl at my sister’s daycare who likes to bring me flowers during her outside playtime,” bailey chuckled. “it’s actually her sister’s best friend,” bailey pointed at me with his thumb. “so i’m starting to think that i might be her boyfriend.”

“aww, darcie,” i couldn’t help but grin wide, nodding slightly. “yeah, she’s sweet.”

“that doesn’t count,” ava replied snarkily.

“i’m sorry about her,” harper said to bailey, before mouthing, “she can be a mess.”

“i saw that,” ava rolled her eyes at her sister.”

“all good, no worries,” bailey chuckled. “but in actuality, no, i’m single.”

then he pulled out his phone and showed us a picture of him and his sister.

“so that’s blaire, the one with the sunglasses,” he pointed.

“i thought she had a pixie cut?” i inquired, glancing over his shoulder.

bailey shook his head. “she did, but then she decided to grow it out.”

“wait, is she single?” ava asked.

bailey nodded. “yeah, and proud to be. fun fact, she used to be a lesbian. but it took three toxic relationships and one toxic situationship to make her commit to the single life. but she’s open to maybe having a male friend or two in her life. she’s down for that.”

“does she know her brother?” ava pointed at me. “he’s a teacher here.”

“yes, i know that,” bailey chuckled. “they have met, and she says he’s nice. that’s all i know.”

then he pulled out his schedule and took a glance at it.

“what’s your first class?” i asked him.

“science with patricia goldstein,” he read from the paper.

“oh, i’m in that class!” ava beamed proudly. “but in the afternoon. i’m like her favorite student, not to brag.”

“you have a solid c in that class,” i rolled my eyes.

“c for crazy good, right?” ava nudged me and winked.

“yeah, sure, whatever you wanna believe.” i thought for a moment. “let’s meet back here right before lunch, then we can all walk to the cafeteria together.”

“sounds like a plan,” bailey agreed, glancing at his watch. “well, i guess i better be off.”

“my class is down the hall from goldstein’s,” harper explained to him. “i’ll show you where to go.”

“it was nice to meet you ava!” bailey said before he departed us.

we waved goodbye to each other as i mouthed “text me” to him. he flashed a thumbs up and he and harper went on their way.

•

“you okay?” i asked harper as we continued walking down the long and narrow corridor. we’d been walking for a bit, not really saying anything other than the idle small talk here and there. “you haven’t really said much this whole time.”

“oh,” she had a quiet voice when she talked, much quieter and softer than her sister’s. “yeah, it’s just… i just…” she sighed, stopped in her tracks and worriedly looked around, breathing out a small sigh of relief.

“what? what is it?” i stopped with her.

she sighed a bit heavier this time. “i have this… insecurity…”

“oh?” i furrowed my brow. “i mean, uh, it’s okay if you don’t wanna tell me. i don’t wish to make you feel uncomfortable in any way…”

“no, no, it’s okay, i’ll tell you.” harper rubbed her arm with her other hand, shifting a bit in her feet. “it’s my smile.” she looked at me as if she was expecting me to react in some way, but i kept on listening.

“i know it sounds pathetic, but, like… look at me.” she gestured around her face. “i mean,” she laughed it off, “who would even want to look at my smile? it’s like i’ve got this stupid metal scaffolding all over it.” she shook her head, looking away slightly.

“well,” i smiled a bit, “the way i see it, the metal scaffolding on the facade of a building signifies a work in progress. or better yet, a restoration. so it’s going to become something bigger and better. and that’s what braces do, right? they make your smile appear straighter, and cleaner, and… i guess more perfect?”

“well… yeah… i mean, i guess…” she rubbed her arm again, something that used to be a nervous tendency of mine.

i thought for a moment. “when do you get them off?”

“next year, sometime in the spring.”

“right when the snow melts,” i mused, nodding a bit. “that’ll be fitting i think. the curse of winter will be over right when the curse of the braces will be for you.”

“huh,” harper chuckled, “that’s a neat way to look at it.” she pointed at me, “but you’re absolutely right, they are a curse. they make me look less beautiful.”

“who ever said braces made you look less beautiful?” i asked.

“i… i dunno…” she shrugged, taking her glasses off.

“glasses too,” i pointed. “living a life in shame just because of how you look shouldn’t be how you live, at least, i don’t think. plus, it makes you easy to tell apart from your sister.”

“yeah, true,” harper smiled slightly. “but… everyone says that she’s the pretty one, and i’ve always tried to be like her…”

“seriously?” i laughed. “you’re identical twins! you’re pretty much stuck looking like her.”

“well, i can’t see as clearly as her, that’s why i have the glasses.” harper pointed to them. “we’re already pretty different. she talks louder. maybe i should talk louder, so the teachers can hear…”

“i can hear you just fine,” i calmly said with a smile. “you sound great to me. have you ever considered that ava’s voice is perhaps a bit too loud, and that you talk normally?”

“n-no…” she stammered. “i guess not.”

“i think you talk fine.” i tried to sound as reassuring as i could. “bottom line is, you shouldn’t set yourself up comparing yourself to people you think are better than you. it won’t get you anywhere.”

“y-yeah. you… you’re right. i’m sorry…”

“no, no!” i gently put a hand on her shoulder. “don’t apologize. these are just facts of life that i learned early on. it’s great that i can tell you about them. cause in the long run, you’ll feel so much better about yourself, and you’ll thank me for telling you all this.”

harper thought for a moment, looking off to the side before her eyes flashed back to me. “so you really think my smile looks pretty?” she giggled slightly.

“i think everything about you looks pretty,” i said to her affirmatively, squeezing her shoulder slightly. “especially your smile. it looks beautiful. beautiful enough for me to kiss, maybe.” i winked at her.

her cheeks instantly flashed a bright red, and she covered up part of her face with her hand. “i- i’m sorry,” she whispered, lowering her hand gradually. “i… i don’t know what just… what i did just now…”

“you’re all good,” i chuckled. “sorry, should’ve clarified that some of what i say is very lighthearted. so i wasn’t being serious when i said that.” i smirked. “or was i?”

harper laughed and wrapped her arms around me, squeezing me a bit. “you’re great,” she told me as she backed away, blushing slightly as a look of realization came over her face. “sorry,” she chuckled softly, “i’m a bit of a hugger, i couldn’t help myself.”

“oh, so am i, i don’t mind.” naturally, i wanted to return the favor, so i wrapped my arms around her a bit more gently.

“oh, you’re so better than me, i’m jealous!” her smile grew slightly. “and they actually feel quite warm.”

suddenly the bell rang, and realizing what this meant, harper flashed a glance at me sadly as i let go of her.

“aw, don’t go,” she frowned.

“we’ll see each other again,” i reassured her, taking her hand in both of mine before releasing it and opening up my arms for her. “here, one last one for good luck.”

and as i wrapped my arms around her, i felt her head nestle in right where my heart was. and it felt super comfortable.

i looked down at her with a smile that i just couldn’t wipe from my face. i could get used to this. to her. to this feeling.

right before we parted ways, we exchanged phone numbers.

•

during my lunch break that afternoon, i decided to head over to the nurse’s office to complete my site change.

as a diabetic, you had to change the site of your glucose monitor and your insulin pump that was attached to your body.

having those tiny contraptions hooked onto you was a hell of a lot easier than having to manually test your blood sugar and inject insulin via needle.

then again, it was still a needle going into to your body.

“hi nurse kate,” i greeted the nurse with a simple smile and wave.

she smiled and waved back, and i looked around the room to where i could find an empty seat.

sure enough, there was one located next to a young girl who was testing her blood sugar by finger prick. although, i could see her shirt pulled up, and on her waist she had a pump that looked nearly identical to mine.

i sat down next to her, and she immediately turned to me, smiling.

“hi, i’m victoria,” she said, sticking out the hand that didn’t have the prick mark on it.

“hi viktoria,” i said, shaking it. “nice to meet you.”

then her eyes travelled down to my pump, and she gasped slightly.

“we have the same model!” she exclaimed, pointing at it. “how cool!”

i laughed. “yeah, you’re a diabetic too i guess.”

“i really like this model.” she pinched hers with her thumb and forefinger and turned it towards me to show me. “it’s not as painful as some of the other pumps out on the market.”

“yeah,” i nodded, “it’s incredibly painless.”

“plus, they stick to you even better.” her eyes travelled up to my face. “i feel like i’ve seen you before,” she flashed a lighthearted skeptical glance at me, pointing. “aren’t you a teacher here?”

“yeah, that i am.” i began to change my own sites, glancing over at her once or twice in the process. “so you manually check your sugar?”

“yeah,” she nodded. “i didn’t have the best experience with my cgm, it kept falling off and… i stepped on it once, and the needle went into my foot,” she shivered slightly.

“ouch,” i chuckled. “hopefully you got a tetnis shot.”

she nodded. “i was five when that happened. then i got the diabetes a year later.”

“so you were diagnosed when you were six?” i asked.

she nodded, now putting her medical kit away and pulling a lunchbox out from underneath her chair. “i eat lunch here,” she quickly explained, gesturing to her lunchbox. “i have no friends,” she chuckled nervously.

“no friends?” that made me sad for some reason.

“what, i mean, when were you diagnosed?” viktoria quickly asked me, probably to redirect the subject.

“i was eighteen,” i explained.

“that must have felt weird for you.”

i shrugged. “yeah, a little. but i conform quickly.”

we were both silent for a minute.

“what do you teach?” viktoria then asked.

“ap calculus.”

“oh,” she laughed, “i don’t think i’m in your class.”

“yeah, i don’t think so either,” i shook my head, smiling a bit. “i don’t remember seeing you on my roster.

“what is calculus anyway? does that have anything to do with calculators?”

“well, we use them a lot, for sure. we use graphing calculators, i’m not sure if your math class has those.”

“oh, i’m not in math.” i could see viktoria blush a little bit, perhaps out of embarrassment. “i’m not very good at it.”

“not everyone is,” i told her. “and that’s okay if you aren’t.”

“but…” viktoria thought again, “i’d love to help you out in some way. you seem nice.”

“aw, thank you,” i smiled at her. i had wanted to say right then, “so do you.” but i didn’t.

“are there any opportunities that you, uh, that you offer?”

“well,” i explained, “i do have a slot open next semester for an intern. all you’d really be doing is grading papers.”

an expression of worry instantly flashed in viktoria’s eyes. “so does that mean i have to learn math? and like, become good at it?” i could sense total panic in her voice.

“no, no,” i laughed, “you’d have an answer key to look at.”

“phew, that’s a relief,” she sighed out.

“yeah, and…” now i had to think. “this might be beneficial for you actually, there is an after school program that is offered for any math student that just needs extra help. they’re looking for tutors there as well. i don’t run it, though. so you could either apply to help out, or apply to be helped out. but slots do fill up fast, so i recommend getting on it as soon as you’re able.”

“yeah, i think i’d rather learn how to grade papers than learn math,” she chuckled nervously. “no offense.”

“none taken,” i waved it off. “yeah, i figured the tutoring thing probably wouldn’t apply to you. but you might like being tutored by someone.”

“could you tutor me?” viktoria inquired, laughing it off (she was probably not being serious at all about it).

“so i don’t stay after school to help out, unfortunately. i have so many other things to do that occupy too much of my time.” i looked over to her, sort of shrugging in defeat. “sorry.”

“that’s okay,” she smiled, “i didn’t really mean it.”

“yeah, i know,” i laughed. “you really detest it, huh?”

“uh huh,” she nodded, pursing her lips.

then she whipped out her phone and showed me her lockscreen. “this is what i do like.” she pointed to the picture. “that’s my pet rabbit, dottie. i’ve had her for ten years. she poops everywhere.”

“aw, she’s cute,” i smiled. “my sister has three pet rabbits that she looks after. and she’s really good at taking care of them.”

“you have a sister?” viktoria asked.

“sure do,” i nodded. “actually, i have two. i have a younger sister, riley, and a miniature sister named starla.”

“miniature?” viktoria inquired, raising an eyebrow.

“well, i like to call her that. i think it’s just a me thing, i don’t know. but yeah, she’s four, a real sweetheart.” i turned to her. “what about you? do you have any siblings?”

“nope, only child. how old is riley?” viktoria asked.

“she goes here, she’s seventeen,” i replied.

“so you’re the oldest.”

“mmhm.” i nodded again.

“i think riley’s in my gym class— oh, wait, no, i’m thinking of a different riley, never mind.”

“yeah, riley doesn’t take gym. she’s like you with math— doesn’t like it one bit.”

“gym is okay,” viktoria remarked. “english is good, history all we do is watch videos and take notes, biology is boring… oh, and my elective is this art and music integration class. that’s really boring,” she laughed. “i have to write a ten page paper by the end of the month.” she pouted. “that’s no fun.”

“okay, you wanna know what i despised when i went to school?” i asked, pointing at myself. “writing papers. in any class. it wasn’t like i sucked at writing in any way, but it was so laborious and such a chore for me. i would always zone out after i’d written like a page. i just, didn’t, like it.” i made sure to emphasize each word in that last sentence. “and when i went for my masters in teaching, i had to write a paper that was about sixteen pages long. and trust me. the last thing you want to be doing at the eleventh hour is cramming in a sixteen page paper.”

“oh my gosh!” viktoria laughed out loud, “so, like, you procrastinate too?”

“i used to be really bad,” i chuckled. “like, it’s a miracle i’m actually here teaching people, and not back up at uni retaking five to six courses adolescent psychology courses.”

viktoria thought for a moment. “i want to major in history, and become one of those tour guides that leads one of those tours around those ancient historical buildings.”

“oh, that sounds super fun,” i smiled. “you like to be a talker, i can tell, so the job would suit you.”

“it would?” there was a glimmer of eagerness in viktoria’s eyes, it was kind of cute to see, actually.

“sure! and you’ve got the enthusiasm to boot. you’d be perfect.”

viktoria giggled slightly. “i could be a tour guide who makes everyone take a test at the end of the tour, and then i could grade the papers.”

“there you go!” i said. “looks like you got your work cut out for you.”

“i do,” she beamed.

suddenly the bell rang, and i had to get back to class.

“well, it was nice meeting you, viktoria.”

“you can call me tori if you’d like,” she said, getting up out of her chair and throwing away her trash into a nearby trashcan.

“okay tori,” i smiled, patting her back slightly when she came back. “it was nice meeting you. good luck with your tour guide business, and your diabetes management. it can be tough to juggle sometimes. but i’m confident you know what to do, maybe even better than me.” i winked at her.

“thanks,” she giggled, blushing slightly.

and as i exited the nurse’s office, i had two takeaways etched in my mind:

1. she had an infectious personality,

and 2. she looked like she was beginning to develop a crush on me.

•

one day, we were going on a small road trip, and naturally, owen was in charge of waking me up.

“ri. ri ri. ri. ri ri.” i felt incessant poking and prodding by a grown-up finger while i was peacefully asleep in bed.

i shuddered and the touch and turned over to my other side, towards where i could hear the voice coming from.

i sleepily blinked my eyes open. “what.” i muttered through my teeth, squinting at him, probably sounding more irritated and agitated than i meant to.

“we’re leaving in ten minutes,” owen tapped his wrist where the face of a watch would be. “you gotta get starla, i still need to finish packing.”

“because you procrastinated and forgot last night?” i asked, sitting up in bed now.

“don’t call me out like that,” he laughed. “but, uh, yes, that’s the reason. now go,” he casually tapped my bum, “mom and dad are waiting.”

so i got out of bed and went across the hall to starla’s bedroom.

the thing with starla was, she was extremely quiet, even for a four year old. she barely spoke a word. mom was working on getting her some in-home speech therapy. but she had her ways of communicating to us.

normally, when i walked in, she would be hiding under the bed, because she would often think that owen was coming in instead of me.

i noticed her teddy bear wedges in between the two plumped up pillows at the head of the bed.

what i would do is i would sit down on her bed, take the teddy, and sort of wiggle it on the floor right beside the bed to get her attention. and then when i could see her two tiny hands take it, i’d still be holding onto the bear and i would pull her right out from under there. and then she would see that i was on the other end. and she would be happy.

i learned that trick from owen, actually, cause that’s what he used to do with me.

right as i was about to look under there, though, i felt a tiny person wrap their arms around one of my legs from behind.

i smiled and spun around.

“there you are!” i bent down and rubbed the top of her head. “you excited for our little trip?”

she nodded, wanting to grab my hand.

so i took it and lifted her up on the bed, sitting down next to her.

“you wanna play on my phone while we’re on the road?” i asked.

she nodded again.

i echoed her smile. i liked seeing her happy like that.

i quickly opened it up, cleared out all my text notifications and put ava’s test notifs on mute. sometimes she used some really choice language.

a photo memory popped up on my phone, and i tapped on it, holding the phone so starla could see.

“who’s that smelly weirdo?” i asked, pointing to the guy on the far end with the swim trunks, chiseled abs and sunglasses. it had been a beach holiday.

starla giggled and pointed to the room across the hall that had the door shut, which was owen’s room.

i moved my finger to the girl next to him.

“who’s that even bigger weirdo?” i asked.

starla giggled again and squeezed my hand, which she was still holding onto.

i smiled and nodded approvingly, rubbing her head again. “that’s right, smart girl!”

suddenly we could hear mom yelling for everyone to start clearing out of the house.

“alright,” i sighed, “time to go.” i stuffed my phone into my pocket and carried starla out, the two of us heading to the car. it was only when mom got the car seat situated and starla loaded into it that i handed her my phone.

luckily i had plenty of games loaded on there that i played myself that she could take advantage of.

when i could see her eyes starting to close, i knew that meant she was getting tired, so i tapped her hand that was holding my phone.

“here, you need to sleep now,” i told her gently.

she let me take the phone back and before i knew it, she was passed out cold.

with the car seat wedged in between us, my eyes travelled over to owen, who seemed particularly engrossed in his own phone.

“who are you texting?” i asked, glancing over his shoulder from afar.

he wouldn’t say, but the name read “viktoria.”

“ooh, who’s viktoria?” i asked teasingly, tapping his forearm with my fist.

“she’s your grade,” owen replied deadpanned, not bothering to look up from his phone.

that caught my attention. was it… was it legal to text someone underage?

“my grade as in, she’s 17?” i asked.

he shook his head. “just turned 18.”

that’s when i realized something else.

“the viktoria you’re texting… it doesn’t happen to be viktoria spunaldi, does it?” i asked.

owen nodded. “it is, why?”

i sucked air in through my teeth. “ava absolutely despises her. as it, she hates her guts.”

“oh?” owen flashed me an inquisitive look.

“yeah, she and ava used to be best friends. like, they were inseparable. and then, back in middle school, they got into this huge fight, one that all the kids talked about for days on end… and they haven’t spoken to each other since.”

owen chuckled. “sounds like a lot of petty teenage girly girl drama to me.”

“oh, it was, trust me. harp and i stayed out of it as much as we could. ava only attempted to drag me into it once.”

“what was it even about?” owen asked.

“i’ve long since forgotten,” i chuckled. “so has ava probably.”

“i’ll ask viktoria about ava when i see her again,” owen said, setting his phone aside.

i then glanced over to my own phone, where i’d been texting bailey about his newfound relationship with harper.

“it’s funny, whenever we go to get chick-fil-a,” he had texted, “i’ll always get extra pickles on my chicken sandwich cause i’m SUCH a pickle person, and she’ll simply pick her pickles off her sandwich and give them to me.”

“harper never told me she hates pickles,” i’d texted.

“oh, she does, trust me,” bailey texted back. “but she knows just how much i love them, haha.”

that’s how a relationship is supposed to work, isn’t it?

i looked back to owen and saw him smiling down at his phone again, thumbs flying like mad over the lower portion of the screen.

i cocked an eyebrow at him.

“owen.” i tapped his shoulder. “what’s going on between you and tori? like, for real?”

owen shrugged it off, scoffing, “you really wanna know?”

i grabbed his phone and yanked it away from him, all bosslike.

“yeah,” i probably sounded more serious than ever before, “i do.”

•

“can i come in?”

the voice sounded soft, quiet, and subdued. still, it was enough to pique my attention.

it was after school, and i’d been sitting at my desk grading paperwork when tori had opened the door, looking a bit shy and nervous to step foot inside my classroom.

i looked up and smiled wide when i saw who it was.

“hey tori,” i waved. “yeah, of course, you can come in.”

“okay, thanks,” she blushed slightly as she shut the door behind her, probably embarassed for asking.

i gestured around at all the empty seats. “you can have a seat anywhere, i don’t mind. or stand.” i shrugged. “up to you.”

“it’s okay,” she walked over and took a seat at a desk that was right in front of mine.

“so what’s up?” i asked, clasping my hands together and setting them down on my desk, leaning forward slightly.

tori smiled and waved, giggling slightly. “hi.”

i smiled back. “hi.”

she began to look around my classroom, at all the work that was hung up from my students. she seemed to take it all in admirably, nodding ever so slightly in the process.

“so… this is your classroom?”

i nodded, beaming proudly. “this is my classroom.”

“it’s a nice classroom,” she remarked. “i really like it.”

“thank you,” i smiled back at her, noticing that she was still looking around at everything. “yeah, i try to keep it tidy. but i guess it’s better to have a disorganized classroom than a disorganized mind.”

“yeah,” she laughed slightly, her eyes now shifting to the framed pictures that i had on my desk. “is that your sister?” she pointed to a young girl in one of them.

my eyes followed her finger and i nodded in confirmation. “yeah, that’s riley. oh, gosh, that was a while ago.” i pointed to my mom at the far end. “doesn’t she look good?” i asked tori. “she was nine months pregnant in that photo. wait, no, it was six. still, she looked good, remarkably.”

“how does it feel to have a sister so young?” tori asked me.

i smiled fondly, looking off to the side for some reason. “i love her to death. she’s really sweet. i just wish she loved me more.”

“what did you do?” tori laughed.

i sighed, shrugging in defeat. “i don’t know. she always runs away from me. i think she’s just scared. i am kinda big, in her eyes. and big obviously means intimidating.”

“oh, so that makes you sad.”

“yeah, kinda.” i sighed again, a bit lighter this time. “but i know she’ll grow up and i’ll get smaller to her.”

then tori’s eyes flashed to a picture right next to it, of me and riley at some amusement park place with mini golf and bumper boats. “oh, i see she’s friends with ava.” her remark didn’t sound resentful at all.

“yeah, ri mentioned something about how you and her had a falling out in middle school?”

“yeah,” tori rolled her eyes, “but it was so stupid. i was over it years ago. but ava’s the type to hold these petty ass grudges, and she still hasn’t made up with me. but yeah, it was over this guy, roman clancy, and she was mad that i was into him at the same time that she was, and she got jealous when he was checking me out more, and she thought that i was dating him since we kind of hung out more, but we honestly weren’t. i wasn’t even really into dating back then. and roman had even said to me that he was into me more and that he’d choose me over ava any day.” she sighed. “and the roman moved away the year after, and ava still hasn’t forgiven me. she was definitely jealous.”

“of course,” i muttered, shaking my head.

“what?” tori asked, only because she couldn’t hear me that well.

“uh, nothing never mind.” i chuckled nervously. “that just sounds super petty to me.”

“oh it was and it is, trust me. ava is just… toxic, on all levels. she’s nice and all, but she’s just toxic.” she glanced over to the picture again. “and she and your sister, riley you said? yeah, so they’re like, friends, i guess.”

“yep,” i nodded, “friends since childhood. her and her twin.”

“oh, harper, yeah, i know her,” tori smiled. “she’s super nice. nothing like ava. we’re cool, we text.”

“she got a boyfriend now?” i asked, only because i wanted her to confirm (riley had already told me).

tori shrugged, “haven’t heard anything about that yet.” she thought for a second. “but i probably will soon. she doesn’t always inform me of stuff, we’re not like super close but…”

then she glanced at one more picture, it was of riley and i when we were really young, and her smile returned. “you and riley seem super close. i love that.” she pointed.

“yeah, well, i love all my family, not just riley.” i gestured to another picture of me and my parents, and then to a picture of me and my two sisters taken just last year (riley was holding starla upside down in it to get her to smile).

i couldn’t help but smile slightly, just thinking about them. “my family make me happy. and they keep me happy. riley’s a really good baker, and joke cracker, and her relationship with our mini sister is so precious.”

“did she always want one?” tori asked.

i nodded. “she begged for one when she were little, and our mom would go ‘what? you don’t like the one you have now?’ and she’d grumble and complain ‘but he’s owen, i want someone that’s not owen.’ she was just being funny about it though, i knew deep down that she loved me.”

“and what about your mini sister, star…ry? star something?”

“starla,” i gentle corrected.

“yeah, starla, sorry. what do you like about her?”

“well, i know that with her, because she’s so young, she’s got room for growth and development. but right now she’s a bit on the quiet side. a small thing i notice is when she takes your hand, she doesn’t let go unless you make her. she’s very touch dependent.” i smiled fondly. “and she’s actually super pretty for a four year old.”

tori glanced back to the picture of all of us again. “you must get jealous that riley and her have such a close bond.”

“well, keep in mind that so do riley and i. and it’s kind of hard, really, to have a sibling-like bond with someone who’s twenty years younger than you. i might as well be her dad,” i chuckled slightly.

“but you aren’t.”

“but i’m not, you’re right.” i nodded affirmatively.

there was a small bit of stillness in the room that came with the lull in our dialogue.

that was when i thought of something to say.

“what makes you happy?” i asked.

“music,” she grinned wide. “and dancing. lots of dancing to lots of music.”

“dancing, eh? you like to dance? are you a professional dancer?”

“oh, no, no no no,” she laughed, immediately frantically waving it off, “i could never be a pro. i just dance for fun, in my room.”

“here,” i pulled my phone out from one of the drawers in my desk and opened up my spotify app, “let’s get some music playing.”

“wait what?” a sense of panic flashed in her eyes as she stared at me in pure disbelief.

“what? you said you liked music,” i laughed slightly.

tori frantically looked around, her expression one of panic. “are you sure?” she asked.

“yeah, no worries here, no one’s around, we’re safe.”

“oh, uh, okay.” i picked up a slight nervous inflection in her voice.

“you’re okay,” i smiled reassuringly at her, “just have fun with it.”

now it was my turn to look around.

“here,” i said, getting out of my chair and going over to her with my phone in my hand, “i can let you pick out the song.”

her eyes widened when i showed her my phone, a smile beginning to grow wide. “you have a lot of playlists,” she breathed out in awe.

“riley created some of them for me. she’s more into indie, i’m more into rock and alternative. but there’s one playlist on here that’s like easy listening.” i scrolled down with my thumb to the playlist. “i play this whenever my parents are around.”

“really?” tori laughed. “so you must really like music a lot then, i guess.”

“yeah, sure,” i chuckled.

“do you dance?” tori asked.

“oh, trust me, you would not believe how much of a dad i look when i dance,” i replied deadpanned.

tori laughed again. “now i kinda wanna see you dance.”

i shook my head, laughing slightly to myself as i pressed play on the easy listen playlist. “prepare to be mortified.”

the music started to play, and we began to dance separately, laughing so hard at each other the entire time.

“we could become tiktok famous, i swear,” tori remarked.

“i don’t even do tiktok.” this earned another laugh from her.

we began to use the whole classroom, moving chairs and desks out of the way so we could perform our little routines.

and slowly but surely, as the playlist pressed on, we began to dance a bit closer together, becoming more and more comfortable with each other’s presence, each other’s personality. we began to hold hands and swing to the music, but not for very long, just enough to satisfy a part of a song.

at one point tori stood up on a desk and leapt from one to another several times during one of her dances.

“careful, don’t hurt yourself!” i laughed, seeing her from afar.

she only slipped once when she was tap-dancing on a chair, and luckily i was there to steady her.

she performed one more skit on a desk, and suddenly she said, “here, catch me!” giggling slightly.

i was about a few feet away from that desk, and when she leapt off, i caught her right under her arms, holding her up there for a bit before slowly and gently lowing her, smiling down at her in admiration when her feet touched the floor.

the music faded out, and we were left standing there.

i expected tori to break out into another dance once the music started back up, but the playlist had reached its end, and tori still had her arms wrapped around my middle, nestling her head into my stomach and grinning wider than ever.

i smiled and rubbed her back. “you look happy,” i laughed.

“i’m happy here,” she mumbled into my shirt, before looking back up to me. “it’s you.” she pointed to my face. “i think it’s you. i’m happy when… i’m with you… and you… you make me happy. sorry, did that make sense?” she let go of me and took a step back, blushing slightly, probably embarrassed that she held onto me for that long.

“aw, well, i’m glad i make you happy. you wanna know something? you make me happy too.”

“really?” she looked at me with eagerness in her eyes and excitement in her voice. “you really do, i mean, think so?”

i nodded, loving how thrilled and enthusiastic she could get over the little things i said. “uh huh. you really do.”

suddenly her expression turned into a frown as she looked down at her feet. “but… but why?”

“you know how to have fun,” i told her, taking her hand again. “you love doing what you do. and there’s no shame in that. and you bring out the happiness in me. normally my sister does that. but now i know that you can too.”

“really? aww…” her grin instantly returned and she hopped up and down in her spot, her hands flapping slightly.

i couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“you wanna know something crazy?” tori took a step closer to me. “so, like, i’ve really wanted a boyfriend for like… the longest time. or at least someone who could see my dancing or even like, dance with me? even? like wow, that’s a crazy thought. but… it just sounded silly and stupid in retrospect, or is it hindsight? well, whichever it is. and like, someone who just… likes me for who i am, and hey, maybe even… loves me? like wow, that would be cool. and i’ve always wanted someone who like, wants to get close to me, and touch me, but like, lovingly, i’m sorry if that sounded super weird.” she laughed. “and i’m sorry that was like, a lot.”

“no, no,” i could not stop laughing at her energy, “you’re all good. i love your energy.”

then i sat down at one of the nearby desks that we pushed back into the corner, tori sitting down on top of the desk, knees tucked up.

i took a deep breath in.

“i’ll let you in on something crazy too.” i chuckled slightly. “i’ve been on this planet for twenty-five years. almost twenty six now. and i’ve never been in a relationship before. like, ever.”

tori’s eyes widened at me. “shut up!” she exclaimed. “really?”

“yeahhh,” i nodded slowly. “like… i dunno.” i shrugged. “i guess i was never really like, gung-ho about getting into one. i just thought maybe… maybe it just wasn’t for me. at least that’s how i felt at the time.” i paused for a minute, thinking. “but now… i think i’m ready for one again. careful consideration taken into account, of course.”

“so you have, like, no experience like, at all?” tori asked. “of being a boyfriend i mean.”

“nada.” i pursed my lips and looked away slightly. not that i was ashamed of that fact in any way. well, okay, maybe a bit.

“oh, well, i’m sure you’ll find that somebody!” tori replied optimistically, turning to face me. “i mean… i really hope you do.” she flashed me a sincere look. “even if you have no experience.”

yeah, thanks for rubbing that in.

but it was funny how blissfully unaware she was of how i was truly feeling in that very moment. painstakingly oblivious.

“oh, trust me,” i chuckled, smirking at her slightly, “i already have.”

(a/n: this was a song that i hc they were listening/dancing to)

•

“hey, harper, could you come up here for a sec? i need to send you on a mission.”

it wasn’t until my ap calc teacher said that last sentence that i could breathe a sigh of relief. i had thought for sure he’d snuck a peek of what i was doing under my desk.

i was actually holding my phone there, texting my boyfriend bailey, who was in his human studies class.

and no, it wasn’t the same as anatomy. anatomy focuses more on the physical and biological components of humans. human studies was, i guess, more psychological? and tied in real-world stuff too.

anyway, i stuffed my phone in my pocket and went up to his desk.

owen (my teacher’s name) handed me an envelope with the word “tori” scribbled on it in sloppy cursive.

“you think you could send this over to your friend tori?”

i smiled and nodded. “yeah, i know what class she’s in right now.”

he smiled back. “good. off you go.”

so i went out of the room and down the hall, feeling pretty priveliged to be the messenger of whatever this mystery conversation could be.

now, i wouldn’t call tori and i the best of friends. my sister hated her, for one thing. and ava didn’t want me being friends with tori. i thought the reasoning behind that was stupid.

tori and i never really crossed paths outside of school. she was always off busy doing something, but she would never say what. especially as of recent. she was an off-and-on texter with me, and for some reason that annoyed me. you would think that it had something to do with me having a boyfriend now, and she was jealous of that. but no. she seemed quite happy without one. at least i thought she didn’t have one.

so i entered tori’s classroom and found her desk near the door, conveniently enough.

she turned around and smiled at me when she saw me. “hey harper,” she waved. “what are you doing here?”

i went over to the side of her desk and dropped the envelope on top of it. “it’s from owen,” i said.

tori did not waste any time opening it, the way she did it seeming unnaturally rushed and eager.

inside it was just a small slip of paper that read “meet me at the end of emily row, 1122. see you there, and soon. hearts. ~o”

“uh…” i cocked my head to the side, looking at her enthusiastic grin plastered in her face, her whole body trembling and giddy with excitement, even her feet were kicking slightly. “are you two, like… dating… or something?”

i wasn’t intending on being serious at all with that statement, but judging from the bright red color that instantly flashed on her face, it might as well have been.

she looked slightly appalled and offended that i would even suggest such a prospect.

“psht, what? no, that… that’s absurd.” she waved it off, chuckling ever so slightly. “you must be crazy out of your mind.”

i rolled my eyes, backing up a step. “i’m just gonna leave now.”

she waved goodbye to me and i waved back, watching her put the envelope back into the paper and stuff it inside her desk.

“god,” i muttered as i walked back to ap calc, “some people are just so weird nowadays.”

•

it was quite easy for me to find the address owen had written on the scrap paper.

no, it wasn’t his house. i bet that was the first thing you thought of a couple paragraphs back.

it wasn’t my house, either.

it was actually a community pool that was located about a block or so away from his house, at least, that’s what he told me via text.

so i parked at the parking lot, and found his car parked a couple of slots over. it was a grey mercedes, which contrasted my burgundy toyota sedan that had gotten handed down to me from my grandma.

now, i had a pool in the backyard of my house. but it was tiny and infested with algae.

but owen knew how much i liked to swim. so we chose here as a meeting spot.

i got out of my car, the duffel bag that i had my change of clothes in slung over my shoulder, and headed towards the gate.

once there, i searched all around for where owen could be, but he was nowhere to be found.

i sighed and dropped my duffel bag down by my feet. he said he would be waiting for me, where could he possibly be?

just when i was about to take a step back towards my car, a pair of hands covered my eyes.

“where do you think you’re going?” i could feel his voice right in my ear.

i couldn’t help but giggle, as i was quite ticklish.

then i spun around and squeezed him right.

“you made it!” i cheerily exclaimed.

“of course, wouldn’t miss it for the world.” i felt owen’s hand rub my head.

obviously, with him being older came the fact that he was also significantly taller.

so it was easy for him to treat me like a younger sibling, at least it felt that way to me.

but the way he ran his fingers through my hair suggested anything but a sibling-like relationship.

“c’mon,” he opened the gate, taking my hand, “we can strip off our clothes once we get settled.”

when we stepped inside, i instantly noticed how few people there were. and thank god nobody we knew or even recognized from school.

owen had on a casual t-shirt and shorts that i never in my wildest dreams thought i’d ever see him wear. i was used to seeing him in what he wore at school, more dressy, professional-looking attire.

he was the first to strip off his shirt, and god. DAMN. was he chiseled. i never expected him to be the type to have a six-pack. holy smokes. holy cow. all i wanted to do was feel it.

his skin wasn’t the tannest, but that didn’t really matter to me. god, what did a six-pack even feel like? now i desperately wanted to know.

“what are you waiting for?” owen chuckled, motioning for me to lift my shirt up and off my person.

so that’s what i did.

what that revealed was a small tattoo (my only one) that i kept in a very discreet place, underneath my left breast.

owen noticed it right away, of course.

he cocked an eyebrow and pointed to it.

“who’s emily?” he asked in kind of a soft voice.

the tattoo was simply the name “emily” written in cursive, with a few tiny roses around the perimeter.

“oh, um…” i blushed slightly. “that was, um… well, emily was…” shoot. i wanted to tell him, but something about it just made me the slightest bit uncomfortable.

whatever. he deserved to know. if he was gonna get to know the rest of me anyhow.

“i had a sister named emily,” i lamented. “she… died… from heart failure.” i swallowed hard. “she wasn’t even two. i never got to know what she was like, or would be like…” i sighed. “that’s why i’m an only child now.”

owen had a glassy look in his eyes and a hand over his mouth as he looked me over with the deepest sincerity, and almost apologetically, as if instantly regretted asking.

“i’m sorry i told you,” i quickly apologized.

“no, no, i’m sorry that happened to you. that… that must have been hard on you all.”

i nodded. “yeah, it… it was.”

suddenly i could feel my breath catch in my throat, in the form of a lump that led to tears collecting in my eyes from the discomfort. and then the discomfort quickly turned to pain. pain because i remembered it all so well. how my mother became depressed, battled with it for months before leaving me and my dad for a whole year. but then she returned only because she felt bad. but she had met another guy who she’d been texting on the regular. it was the year after my sister’s death that was the real rollercoaster. because my dad caught onto the other guy, and i guess it was his turn to leave me and my mom. but this time, for good.

drama did not sit well with me. any form, any amount, no matter how unnecessary or petty it was or became.

i just didn’t want it to consume my life, or my mental health.

but every time it seemed, all i would do was break down and cry. over and over again. because i couldn’t help it. i was human. i was vulnerable. i never had the easiest life in the world. but i never wanted to view myself as a dissapointment. although some days were harder than others.

before i could cover my eyes with my palms, i saw owen take a knee in front of me. looking up at me with genuine concern. “you okay sunshine?” he asked gently, taking both my hands tenderly in his own.

i shook my head. “no,” i squeaked out, “i’m not.” and i felt totally okay saying that, at least in front of him.

owen let go of my hands and brought his hands up to my eyes. making the motion with both of them like he was turning door handles, rotating them in towards each other. and he looked concentrated as he did,

“what… what are you doing.” now i was more confused than anything.

“turning off the waterworks.” he smiled slightly, dropping his hands into his lap clasped together. “it’s how i got riley to stop crying when she would break down.” he frowned. “it only worked some of the time.”

“oh, um…” i sniffled, wiping both my eyes with my own fists. “i… i’m sorry…” i swallowed hard, knowing full well that my face was bright red and puffy and disgusting, the way it always looked when i cried.

owen quickly glanced to the pool before looking back into my eyes, taking my hand again.

“here,” he tugged it slightly towards the pool, “why don’t we go swimming for a bit? that’ll take your mind off of it, won’t it?”

i nodded, smiling slightly. “y-yeah… it will… i think…”

“plus you’ll have me,” he squeezed my hand before moving a bit closer. “me… and you…” he pointed to each of us respectively, smirking a bit. “just us.”

i looked around, noticing that he was right. now, we were the only ones there.

so i allowed him to go first into the pool, still holding onto my hand and acting all gentleman-like helping me step foot into the shallow end.

he kept an arm around me as we headed towards the deep end.

i found myself diving right in, feeling the splash of him diving in after me, both of our bodies submerged under the water. even when we were far apart, it felt super intimate. like nothing i’d ever experienced before.

suddenly, i felt two arms encircle my midsection, with two hands settling right where my belly button was, pulling me into him.

and i could feel his abs press against my back. i turned around so my hands ran along each muscle of his six-pack.

two hands then grabbed my wrists, pulling them off.

but i couldn’t help myself. i wanted to feel all around him, everywhere, everywhere that was clothed, everywhere that wasn’t.

and maybe owen was thinking the same thing.

because now i could feel his hands run along my own body, down my sides, resting at the hips.

suddenly i couldn’t breathe underwater any more, i had to come up for air.

and as i blinked my eyes open and treaded water, owen came up right after me, his hands still firmly planted on my hips, our bodies barely touching.

“you alright?” he asked me, his left hand now running back up along my side and towards my face. i felt it caress my cheek as he used his other hand to pull me a bit closer to him.

i smiled and nodded. “this feels nice,” i whispered.

“oh yeah?” he brought my face closer to his. “you want it to feel even nicer?”

i cocked my head to the side.

“do you?” his voice and expression softened a touch, like he genuinely meant it.

i smiled wide and nodded. “of course.”

he then sunk back down to the bottom of the pool, pulling me down with him.

my eyes were completely shut as i felt his arms work their way around my body before one of them settled around my lower torso and the other around the back of my head, simply holding me in place against him.

i felt him slowly rubbing my back, almost tickling it, squeezing me a bit tighter.

then i felt a new touch that wasn’t by a hand, or an arm, but instead, by a pair of lips, right into my neck. then those lips worked their way up to my face, kissing me on the cheeks, the forehead, the top of my head, but when they reached my lips, i unconsciously wrapped my arms around his neck, leaning straight into him.

i felt the whole weight of my body float up towards the surface, me not even having to gasp for air.

i felt on cloud nine, being loved this simply, purely and intimately.

and when i opened my eyes and saw him staring back at me so lovingly, his arms still around me, i couldn’t help but smile wide.

“that… felt… amazing…” i breathed out.

owen chuckled and went right in to kiss me again. “i just wanted you to feel how a kiss feels to me. super magical, right?”

i nodded enthusiasticly, grinning widely.

he kissed me one more time. “every time i do that, it feel like we’re both submerged under the water, breathing into each other kinda like we did, and just… floating around each other. touching each other in all the right places.”

“it felt super intimate,” i remarked.

“yeah, it did for me too.” he caressed my cheek once again, dropping his voice down to almost a whisper. “you wanna know something crazy?”

i placed my hand over top of his. “what?” i asked with genuine curiosity in my voice and my eyes.

he shook his head and smiled. “you’re a pretty damn good kisser.”

i giggled slightly, and perhaps nervously as well. “um… thanks… i guess?”

“c’mon,” he laughed, “it’s a compliment, take it!”

now it was my turn to grab his cheeks and kiss him right back. “well guESS whAT?! yOU’re a pretty DAMN good kisser as well!!!”

“oh, stop,” he chuckled nervously, “i’ve never kissed a girl before, how should i be any good?”

“because i just know you are. i can feel it.” i kissed him again. “it feels amazing. it makes me feel happy. that’s what kissing someone you love is supposed to make them feel, right?”

he smiled. “yeah, i guess that’s true.”

he then took my hand in mine tenderly and gently. “i don’t ever want any moment with you to end. ever. not even if we have to fall asleep, and you have have to wake up in the morning to get to school, and i have to wake up in the morning to get to my job. that… that’s how i feel. every time i’m with you.”

my heart skipped a beat at the way he said it. so softly, so sincerely.

“i wanna kiss you again, fuckit,” i muttered, giggling.

he laughed with me before he dragged me back down into the water, repeating the intimate makeout session all over again.

maybe even a third time.

maybe even a fourth.

i lost count by the time the sun began to set.

•

“you KISSED her?!?!?!” riley spurted out at me.

“she was into it!!” i spat back.

riley’s jaw hung slightly agape and she simply shook her head, putting a hand on her chest, muttering quietly, “i can’t believe you.”

“look, it, i…” i sighed. “whatever. it doesn’t matter. just… promise me you won’t tell ava, alright?” i held out my hand, as usually we shook on promises.

riley rolled her eyes and hesitantly stuck her hand out to shake mine. “this doesn’t mean i approve of your actions.”

“i don’t need you to approve of them.”

“they’re morally and ethically wrong!”

“i’m well aware,” i sighed.

and for the rest of the car ride, riley and i didn’t say another word to each other, sitting on either side of starla’s car seat in awkward, uncomfortable silence.

i didn’t know what the worst part was, that starla was still fast asleep and not helping the silence any, or the fact that i didn’t even feel a smidge bad that riley was upset at me, or that i was doing something that would definitely get me in major trouble.

@elliotts-personal-property

[the-s1lly-corner]

When Bump first started as VP/If he has had any other jobs?

Bumps career hcs!

(I ran out of bump gifs)

I like to think that he always generslly wanted to go into teaching, one way or another

But there was a period where he considered going pro with flyer derby; but due to some unfortunate circumstance or accident, that dream was stamped out

Now I don't think he IMMEDIATELY became a vice principal; and I may be really dumb because admittedly idk how this stuff works irl, but I don't even think it's a thing to be. Fresh out of college with your devress and be a principal without any experience

Correct me if im wrong though because i /gen dont know

Call it chance or a bias for hexside, but he does eventually find his way back to hexside after he gets his teaching degree or some shit

Are there even colleges and universities in the demon realm?

Personally I like to think so; just like how I like to think there's more than 3 schools (which, granted, arent as big as hexside/glandus/saint epiderm), and different isles with their own ways of living. But hey, thats just me

Anyways

He starts off as an abominations professor, and does that for a few years

Let's him get a handle of being a teacher, which admittedly, does take some time getting used to since he's always been the student before

"Were we really this... rowdy..?" He thinks to himself while sitting at his desk, grading worksheets. A student had dared another student to throw a desk. That was that days incident

Oh and he's still as awkward as he is as a VP; just more so, since he has even LESS experience than he did before and is still trying to find his footing

Neither a strict nor laid back teacher

He won't tell on you to Faust if you're doing something harmless, but he will lightly scold you if it's causing a disruption

He... doesn't like sending kids to Faust.. if he can help it; he knows how harsh Faust can be

Falls for the "I'm gonna get my teacher to tell a story so we can get out of work today" thing, a lot

Hands out stickers

Doesn't really know how to treat students yet

Basing this off my own experience with a new teacher but imagine Bump is passing out stickers to a almost empty class, almost everyone skipped because of some event (eg. Field trip or senior skip day) and he's giving stickers to those who still turned up for class. Doesnt matter what color star you choose, he's gonna ask if its your favorite color and also say its his favorite color as well in literally the most awkward yet robotic voice

He just like me frfr

But I think he'd also like playing and making games with his students, especially studying games. Makes studying fun and helps the kids engage and remember the material; sometimes he'll even throw in a prize if the game had winners. Something small, like candy

One of the few times in his early career where he's not awkward, gwts very into the game and just flows with it

Of course everyone had to keep it down because I don't think Faust would approve

"Learning isn't supposed to be fun!!" -the snake history teacher from that one episode

When he's promoted to VP after a few years, he's still carrying his awkwardness on his sleeves. Sort of a transitional stage between the hcs above and what we have in TTBK, he's slowly mellowing out...

Sorta....

Also I feel like in the beginning, as a teacher, he'd try too hard to relate and appeal to the students

Mopes and ask for advice from the more experienced staff members in the teachers lounge

Do not he fooled, that gloomy mood stated above does not last long; Hieronymus is no quitter!

[sapphire-heart-tippy]

I had another dream about my love last night- that quickly devolved into going back to high school in a Walmart:

Okay so it started off with Vanilla and I hanging out in a bubble bath. Nothing naughty, but I'm going to describe stuff. I was sitting in his lap and he was washing my hair and scrubbing my head. I felt his arms wrap around me and his chest on my back 💙💜 Vanilla started kissing my cheeks and we were giggling and just being all snuggly and cuddly in the bubble bath 🥺💙💜

Then for some horrible reason, I was in high school as an adult with other adults in an adult high school. You might be thinking, you mean college right? No.... this was specifically high school. We were in a computer lab in a basement that had really cold water spraying from pipes overhead. I was in the "boys group" and I had broken away from the"girls group" (transgender metaphor?!)

We were trying to fix the pipes and we were laughing and singing, then suddenly it was time for PE. Everyone got quiet and slowly started forming 4 lines on either side of the coach. I was first in one of the lines, then a random dude held me by the shoulders and said, "No, little guy... you go right here." And pushed me back about 5 places. I was confused and a little scared.

The coach handed out these grey t shirts individually to the other guys. It was mine and my friends turn next. Then two of my friends broke off from the group and I asked, "Where are we going?"

One of my friends just turned around and looked at me deadpan then turned back. I followed them both through the Walmart that the high school is in for some reason. We went to the principal's office that was in one of the dense clothing sections. I guess one of the counselors was there to give one of my friends some kind of item, I have no idea.

Then my friends both teleported away and I had to run back to the PE class. I saw the ceiling lights were flickering and I was like,"cool!" And I headed back to class. The coach was mad that I didn't have my grey shirt, and I was like "oh shit I left it at the principal's office."

I had to go back there and I asked the counselor where my grey shirt was. She said, "do you know where the lost and found is?" And I said, "no" and she said "well that's where it is" and I said, "okay where's the lost and found" and she got angry and said,"I already told you this morning. You should've been paying attention"

No you didn't wtf- anyway I was looking around (and I literally mean AROUND the principal's office because it was this small one room building thing) until I found a teenage girl and a teacher with a mustache. I asked them where the lost and found was. I couldn't understand what the girl was saying, it sounded like she said it was in another state. I asked,"It's in another state?!" And she just looked at me with a blank face. Then the teacher was about to cry and he said, "I know where it is... it's under the desk... In the office..."

I said thanks and went to look for the shirt. But apparently it was too late because time had flashed forward to my last class of the day. I was so tired and ready to go home. The bell rang and we all headed outside. I remember thinking, "it sucks being a junior and a senior because we have to go home at 6pm instead of 3pm like everyone else"

For reference, I've had to move around a lot so the latest I've ever had to leave a school I went to was 4:15pm. The earliest a school I've been to would let out was 1:15pm. The times we had to be there were all around 7:30am, 8:30am, and 9:30am or something in between.

The rest would let out around the times: 1:15pm, 2:00pm, 2:15pm, 2:30pm, 3:00pm, 3:15pm, and 4:15pm. I've been to a lot of schools x_x (the number of times here are not equivalent to the amount of schools I went to, a few schools had the same times to be let out)

Also just letting you know, the 4:15pm time was for a middle school. But we got Mondays off! It was pretty cool.

I also went to a school that had Fridays off, but we would get let out at 1:15pm. All of the classrooms were in trailers and had 6-8 kids in each. I really miss it... that was when I had my first (counting him) boyfriend too. I was about 9/10. We would have gushers and chocolate teddy grahams for snack time. Gushers to this day still give me so much nostalgia... I'll never forget him and I hope he's doing well 💪 he was such a sweet guy

[areus-in-a-little-cave]

AREUS HIIII i hope you're having a good day, i know you've gotten some answers already but i wanted to chime in on your questions about public schools in the usa if you don't mind :] and also because like. Oh my god you have 45 MINUTES FOR LUNCH jesus christ. Oh god i wish.

to talk only about my middle school (6th-8th grade) and high school (9th-12th), both our schools lunches worked so that the 4th period of each school day (middle bad 6 periods per day, high has 5) was lunch block, and depending on what class you had, that class would take 1st, 2nd, or 3rd lunch, and we have a rotating schedule, so music classes take 1st lunch, math classes take 4, etc. this lunch period block is usually like 70-80 minutes long, but because there's about 5 minutes in-between each lunch's beginning

lunches are usually... like 20 fucking minutes long. in middle school, the bell would ring, and even though we were in our still classes then that meant lunch had started. if you bought your lunch you had to literally SPRINT to get a chance at getting your food at a decent time (which our teachers yelled at us for ofc) and even then you still had to leave lunch at a good time as well so you could get back to your classes. i have always brought my lunch and i still remember having barely 15 minutes to eat it every single day. the middle school cafeteria was also extremely small AND our teachers would Also guard the door. so we couldn't leave.

the good news is that now in high school most things are the same, but we have a bigger cafeteria, like, 25 minutes to eat lunch instead of 15 or something, and we're also allowed to sit and eat it anywhere except classrooms and classroom hallways. seniors can also leave the school during lunch if they want but it's not like anyone has enough time to do that anyway... my school has also been offering free lunches for everyone since last year!! their lunches still aren't Good and the lines will still go for so fucking long sometimes but that is definitely a really great things that unfortunately very little schools in this God Damn Country share.

ANYWAYS sorry this got so long, you don't have to respond super in depth or anything i just wanted to share!!

hi calli love the insight thank you however I am so confused by that lunch schedule why wouldn't they just let you all out at the same time????

HANG ON so in Canada, we have elementary school (pre-K to grade 8) and then high school (9 - 12). some kids will leave elementary school however and go to a middle school for grade 7 and 8. normally middle schools are attached to high schools though so students don't actually change schools once they reach grade 9 (unless they choose to)

but anyway, in elementary school, we didn't have a cafeteria. Instead, all the students remained in their classes and ate at their desks. Teachers just either ate at their desks or in the break room while other teachers walked around the halls and, if they wanted to, older students signed up to watch younger grades (like grade 8s watching grade 2s to make sure no one hurts themselves)

even then. lunch was 40 minutes. no lunch was ever served and everyone brought their own but on certain days (if you bought it beforehand) food would get delivered to classes.

I feel like I should note that I went to like a very average public school Why does it sound like a private school when I compare it to american schools?? What is going on there both of these school systems are free to attend they shouldn't be this different

[ibelongto-tylergalpin]

OH MY GOSH can I maybe possibly request Steve x Eddie’s sister/sibling!reader I’m so excited you wrote for him like- love u byeeee

YES. YES. YES YES YES FINALLY LORD YES IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS OH LORD YES ILY ILY ILY YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW WIDE MY SMILE IS RN ILYSM IM SO HAPPY RN

*One of the gayest photos ive seen but we'll talk abt that another time*

*Nother lil side note: I went to get water and when I came back this gif was on my screen AND I SQUEALED AND GIGGLED. THATS WHAT KINDA HOLD THIS MAN HAS OVER ME. ok imma stfu and let you get to reading* *LAST ONE I SWEAR: Listened to this while writing:) .... and this :)))*

~OKAY SO YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GIDDY I AM RN CAUSE STEVE HARRINGTON CAN SMASH MY FACE IN WITH HIS BAT anyways :)

~Yall actually met before the Vecna stuff

~You're in your senior year for the FIRST time unlike your idiot brother Eddie

~You're not in hellfire but you do spend A LOT of time with them

~Literally the mom of the group

~You have other friends that you'd gladly hang out with but you stay with them because the minute you leave one of them is gonna end up somehow missing a finger

~They need adult supervision at all times and youre the best they got even though Eddie is literally a year older than you

~You were the one who convinced Eddie to invite Mike, Dustin, and Lucas to Hellfire (He didn't wanna at first cause they were "shrimpy freshmen" his words not mine)

~Dustin excitedly ranting to Steve about the group when he first joined

~"He's so cool! He gets on the table n shit and doesnt give a shit about what people say"

~"Dude I don't wanna hear about Eddie 'The Freak' Munson"

~"He has a sister y'know... she's 18. She's pretty awesome too. And single"

~"Well that's great for her" (mf started zoning dustin out at this point poor dustybun)

~Dustin thinks you'd be so fucking perfect for Steve so whenever he sees him he always always always finds some way to work your name into the conversation

~He starts doing the same to you poor boy is set on this ship and will not give up till it sails

~Eddie gets so pissed whenever Dustin brings up Steve. His mood noticeably changes but Dustin, being Dustin, can't take the hint

~You cant be mean to Dustin cause you find him so sweet and adorable so you just endure it even though you have really no intention of talking to Steve 'The Hair' Harrington

~Literally 3-4 months had passed and Dustin was still talking you up to Steve and vice versa even though the two of you still hadn't met

~The Hellfire club was hanging out at the trailer park and when everyone was leaving you heard Dustin say he was gonna go to the video store so you decided to drive him cause you borrowed Robin's history notes cause you ditched class

~You took Eddies keys while he was using the restroom and made sure to leave before he could yell at you for stealing his car again

~You went inside with Dustin and he introduced you and Steve

~"Steve! This is Y/n"

~He gave you a small nod, unaware of what to do. You tried to match his awkward energy so you just gave him a small wave

`"I'm Steve"

~"I know. Little Dustin over here doesn't shut up about you"

~Dustin has the widest smile on his face seeing the two of you meet for the first time but it immediately drops when he hears you call him "little"

~"Hey what the hell"

~"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it 'Dustybun'" you said as you messed with his hair

~"I've told you already! Only Suzie calls me that!"

~You start laughing at Dustins face cause he looks so pissed and oml when Steve hears you laugh his heart MELTS

~He loves the way you treat Dustin

~Its hasn't even been a minute but mans is already down bad for you

~"Anyways, is Robin here? I borrowed her history notes and I'm just here to drop off little dustybun and give her her notes back"

~"Stop calling me Dustybun!"

~"Uh she's not here yet but she should be in about 15 minutes"

~"Oh alright. Can you give these to her when she gets here then?"

~"I mean or you could stay? Y'know, make sure she gets the notes safely. Plus it'd give me a chance to get to know you better..."

~THE WAYS DUSTINS FACE LIGHTS UP I SWEAR

~You stand there for a second contemplating it. You were curious to get to know more about Steve Harrington, especially since Dustin was constantly talking about him. Eddie will kill you if you have his car for too long without asking though, which was even more of a reason to stay. God you love pissing your brother off.

~"Well what do you wanna know Harrington?"

~The two hit it off surprisingly well

~So well in fact that even after you give Robin her notes, you stay longer

~The moment you leave Steve's decided that he's in love. Like thats that. His search for the right woman is over. He's found you and he's gonna try his damnedest to win your heart

~When you got back to your trailer Eddie was fuming

~He was sitting on the couch with his arms crossed and his leg bouncing up and down while staring at the door

~"My my, what ever is wrong dear brother?"

~"What have I told you about taking my car without permission?!?"

~"Relax I was only gone for 30 minutes"

~"YOU WERE GONE FOR 2 HOURS! What were you even doing?! I thought you were just dropping off Henderson!"

~"I stayed a bit longer to talk to Steve"

"Harrington?!"

~"No Eddie, fucking Steven Spielberg"

~Steve constantly bugging Dustin about you and asking him random ass questions about you

~Dustin deciding to be his wing-man for once, he's always asking you to drive him to the video store

~Constantly stealing Eddies car to take Dustin

~Every time you drop him off, you always stay for an extra hour just talking with Steve

~He tries to flirt with you but he gets so nervous when you're around he becomes Scoops Ahoy Steve again

~Dustin and Robin literally face palming whenever he says something stupid but you finding his failed flirting attempts absolutely adorable

~Eddie constantly asking you what's up with you and Harrington

~Telling him you're just friends but him continuing to nag you

~Eventually having enough with your brother bs so you throw a pillow in his face

~Him throwing one back

~Munson sibling pillow fights>>>>>>

~3 months of you and Steve talking at the video store and he still hasn't asked you out

~Robin and Dustin taking bets on when he'll finally confess

~You constantly go to the video store to talk with Steve, with or without Dustin

~One day you were sitting on the counter reading your book while Steve worked and all of a sudden he just kinda blurted the words "movie theater"

~You looked up from your book to see him looking at you

~"Huh?"

~"I, uh, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the movies with me"

~"Only on one condition"

~Yeah..?"

~"You let me pick the movie"

~Steve regained his confidence and the two of you started going back and forth as you always did, laughing and talking

~The two of you decided that Steve would pick you up at 7 and you would surprise him with the movie

~"Wait so let me get this straight. Steve 'The Hair' Harrington... asked you out on a date?"

~"Jeez don't sound so surprised. Your little sister is a very desirable woman"

~"Yeah, sure" Eddie said as he scoffed and rolled his eyes

~"Anyways, it's not a date. At least I don't think it is"

~"You've been hanging out with Steve Harrington every day for the past 3 months. It's a date."

~"Go away and let me finish getting ready please"

~"Sure. Meanwhile I can dust off my 'Protective Older Brother' speech"

~"I will hurt you. Get out. Now."

~"What exactly are your intentions with my little sister, Harrington?" Eddie said, mockingly

~"Out!" You said as you threw a pillow with him and he ran out cackling

~At almost 7 exactly, you saw Steve's car pull up to the trailer and you checked yourself really quickly in the mirror before going to meet him at the door, but much to your dismay, Eddie opened the door before you could get there

~"Hey, uh, is Y/n ready?"

~You could HEAR the nervousness in his voice

~"Depends, who's asking?"

~"Eddie, don't be an ass"

~"Sorry Y/n/n, it's habit by now" (God I can just picture his cocky ass smile)

~You roll your eyes before greeting Steve

~"Hey Harrington"

~"H-hey. You ready, gorgeous?"

~Meanwhile Eddie is gagging his soul out behind you after hearing that

~Idk bout yall but I would just combust right then and there... anyways :)

~Steve holds out his hand to help you down the steps and you gladly take it

~As the two of you walk towards his car you turn around to see Eddie still standing in the doorway and you silently jump up and down to show him your excitement

~Has the cutest big brother smile on his face after seeing how excited you are

~Steve opens the door for you and Eddie shouts to the two of you

~"Hey! You better keep your hands to yourself Harrington!"

~You flip him off through the open car window

~No cause why can I picture Steve almost FALLING when trying to walk around the front of the car to get to the drivers seat. You can't tell me you don't see it. Argue with the wall. I do every day... lets not get into my psychological issues and get back to the story :D

~As the two of you are driving there you sing along to the songs on the radio together

~"So what movie are we watching?"

~"You'll see when we get there"

~You guys finally get there and walk up to the ticket booth

~"Two tickets for Clue please"

~"Really?! Clue?! Haven't you seen that movie 4 times already?"

~"5 times actually. Plus you've never seen it! You cant go through your life never having watched Clue!"

~You reach into your pocket to pull out your wallet and Steve sees

~"Put that away. I'm paying"

~"No you're not. I chose the movie, I pay"

"You may have chosen the movie, but I'm the one who asked you out"

~"You barely asked me! All you said was 'movie theaters'"

"I'm paying!"

~"No you're not!"

~As you tried to pull your money out, Steve snatched your wallet out of you hand and you stared at him in disbelief

~"Uh! Gimme my wallet back Harrington!"

~"No! You'll get it back after our date."

~"Oh so this is a date?" you asked teasingly

"Oh, uh, I mean if you want it to be"

~The way his vibe quickly deteriorated after realizing what he said

~"Okay fine. I'll get my wallet back after our date"

~Ion wanna be cheesy, but imma be cheesy cause its Steve motherfucking Harrington

~The classic both hands in the popcorn bucket thing happened (if you dont know what that is, its this thing in movies and shows when the love interests go to the movies and reach for popcorn and there hands touch and they get all awkward and flustered)

~Steve did the stupid thing where he slowly inched his hand closer to yours so he could eventually hold it but you could clearly see what he was trying to do, so you moved his drink onto the ground, lifted the arm rest, and lifted his arm around your shoulder and laid against his chest

~He was flustered as hell. He was not expecting you to do that

~After the movie he drove you home and you could tell he was nervous the entire way

~He walked you to the door but you dragged him to the back of the trailer where there was no window cause you knew Eddie would watch if you guys said goodbye in front of the door

~Before he could comprehend what you were doing, you put your hands around his neck and pulled him down and kissed him

~He was shocked at first but eventually gave into the kiss and wrapped his hands around your waist as he pulled you a lot closer to him (rail me rn like pretty please)

~Once you guys broke apart for air, he rested his forehead against yours

~"I've wanted to do that since the moment I laid eyes on you"

~The two of you stayed there like that for about a minute or two

~You kissed him one more time, this time reaching into his pocket and taking your wallet back

~You gave him one last peck on the lips before running inside

~When he got to his car he was fist-bumping the air and freaking out stop he was so excited

~You walked into the trailer and it was pitch black

~When you turned the lights on you saw Eddie and your uncle sitting on the couch with their arms crossed as they stared at you, which obviously made you jump

~"What the hell are you guys doing?! Why are you sitting there like a couple of weirdos?! God!"

~"We're the ones asking the questions here missy!" Eddie yelled

~Clearly they were both fucking with you since they loved to poke fun at you all the time

"Did he try anything?" Your uncle asked looking more serious that Eddie did

~You sighed and rolled your eyes

~"No he didn't try anything Uncle Wayne"

~"Woooow! So what, does he think you're not good enough?!" Eddie yelled once again

~"What?! No! I mean we kissed a few time but-"

~"You what?! You shouldn't be kissing anyone till your at least 30!" Eddie screamed as he stood up

~"I'm going to sleep. You two make me wanna off myself"

~Your uncle laughed and Eddie walked over to you before you could walk away and he pulled you into a hug

~"You seem happier since he came around. I'm happy for you"

~You wrapped your arms around him, smiling at your older brothers kind words when all of a sudden his grip tightened

~"Let him know that I said if he ever hurts you there is not a place on earth he can hide. I will hunt him down for the rest of my life if I have to and I will make sure he suffers."

~"Alright get off me" you said as you shoved him away in disgust and your uncle laughed in the background

~"Night baby sis!"

~You didn't say anything and just flipped him off as you walked to go to bed

~The next day you walked into the video store and the minute Steve saw you he ran towards you and pulled you into a kiss

~Robin and Dustin hadn't known about your guys date so they were very surprised

~"Fork it over Robin" Dustin said as he stuck his hand out

~"You guys couldn't wait one more month?!" Robin said as she gave Dustin 10 bucks

~Steve driving you to and from school

~You and Robin bullying him in the car

~Friday night date nights

~Lots and lots of cuddles

~PDA PDA PDA

~Trying so hard to get Eddie and Steve to get along but they just won't budge

~Steve meeting your uncle and winning him over

~Steves parents absolutely adoring you

~Steves mom thinks you're "a nice break from all those trashy girls he used to date"

~PDA

~Going on late night drives cause why not

~Hellfire going crazy when Dustin brags about the fact that you and Steve are dating

~"You're actually dating Steve Harrington?!"

~Eddie yelling shut up the way he did in episode 1 when everyone gets rowdy

~He hates hearing about your relationship mainly because your his baby sister, but the fact that he doesn't like Steve is a factor

~P D A he is all about PDA

~You guys never actually had the whole Bf/gf talk

~It just kinda slipped out on accident and he didn't even notice

~Your first "I love you" was when he got attacked in the upside down and you jumped in after him

~Nancy getting a bit weird with you because youre dating her ex, but she sees how good you are for him and the two of you actually hit it off

~Dance parties with him are a must

~He takes you to skull rock but its all cute n stuff he like laid blankets down and had snacks and you guys just laid there cuddling while staring at the stars and talking

~Thats actually when he let "girlfriend" slip out

~"You're the best girlfriend anyone could every ask for, y'know that right?"

~Ended up accidentally falling asleep there and Eddie freaking out when you got home cause he was worried

~I cannot stress this enough but I'll try. Public Display of Affection !!!!

~On your guys night drives you sit on his lap in the backseat and you guys have fallen asleep there multiple times

~One time you guys even fell asleep after you were parked in front of the trailer and you didnt feel like going in yet

~Basically hes just one of the best boyfriends you could ever have and now i wanna cry cause I know I'll never have this

[uglypastels]

Twilight AU

a/n - Here is a little Twilight au headcanon blurby thing I wrote once with vampire!Eddie. Didn't plan to post it but @peetahpahkah convinced me, so here ya go.

Word count: idk i wrote this in the notes app.

Warnings: none? Tension. Vampire!au and twilight

[Timeline wise, I think it would be the most fun if it was post events of s4, but that it would not be canonically eddie's timeline, so maybe he was a first time senior in s4. Now it's 2 years later and he's in his 3rd attempt at graduating. This will lead to same inconsistencies with the canon but just... work with me here.]

The first day at school

• So you move to Hawkins to move in with one of your divorced parents. And its a big adjustment, moving from a big city to Middle-of-Nowhere, Indiana. But it seems nice enough?

• At school, a girl named Chrissy Cunningham, a senior herself as well, shows you around the school. She's extremely sweet and very helpful.

• At lunch time, she tries to give you the overlook of everyone at school (thats where x sits, thats y's table, etc.) When he walks in.

• You notice him immediately, how could you not. A stark contrast to literally anybody there, his big smile absolutely captivating. Beautiful, and yet- you noticed how everybody glared at him. Quick glances, as if they had a lot to say about the guy, but were too scared to actually say it.

• So you ask Chrissy, watching him make his way to a table, also noticing the people around him, all wearing matching "hellfire club" tshirts, whatever that meant.

• Chrissy is a bit apprehensive. "Oh, that's uhm, that's Eddie Munson." And she goes on to explain how he's the leader of the DnD club, bit of a scary guy actually, dangerous even. "He was absolutely fine at first. I talked to him once in sophomore year, he was already a senior then and uhmm- yeah, but then over that spring break, i dont know, something changed. He came back and was like, totally different."

• "Different how?"

• "I cant really explain it" and thats that on the conversation, but something told you that chrissy's initial meeting with eddie had left a mark on her, for she couldn't stop looking over in his direction.  [a/n - basically, she is 2 years younger but just has a one sided crush, no big deal, and now she's 18 anyway so who cares.]

• You cant blame Chrissy though, as you cant keep your eyes off him either. Its like a magnetic force that pulls you to him. And then when he catches your gaze, across the dining hall but you could tell he was looking at you- his eyes practically locked woth yours- your blood ran cold.

• The period after lunch, you get a bit lost (new confusing building and all), but manage to walk into the classroom and are a bit stunned to see the only empty seat was next to eddie's. Having no choice, you sit next to him. His initial reaction is polite, a kind enoigh smile, but for the rest of the class that quickly seemed to change as all your efforts at small talk had gone to complete waste. And once the bell rings, he's very quick to walk out, not even caring to say "bye".

The confrontation

• After some critical thinking and searching in the library, you confront him in the woods, next to the picnic benches. He's a bit cocky, saying how you don't know anything, dont understand what youre talking about.

• "[Insert some vampire lore you seem fit]"

• "You seem so sure of what you want to say, sweetheart, so just spill it out then" he walks up to you, and even though you dont want to be scared of him, there is some kind of danger in his eyes that makes you backtrack your steps. He leads you up to a tree, locking you in between it and his cold body.

• Your voice is shaky. "You- you're a"

• "Say it." He's smiling through it all, making it so much more intimidating.

• "A vampire"

• "Oh, y/n" his voice is delicate, almost as if he felt sorry for you. His hand traces over the bare skin of your forearm, and its what he's looking at before looking back up at you. Eyes that were usually a honey gold brown now dark. Blacker than the coldest night. "If you only knew...you would wish you were right."

• He leans in and your instincts tell you to shut your eyes, not sure what to expect.

• But nothing happens.

• When you open your eyes again, your heart is beating like crazy, you feel weak and confused, but Eddie Munson is nowhere to be seen.

[cupcakesandtv]

Five to Seven Years Early or Two Weeks Late part 7

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 on ao3

I know this has taken forever and it might be hard to believe but the entire abortion argument was actually in draft 3 when the Supreme Court decided people who can get pregnant don't need to have access to safe and easy ways to unpregnant themselves. It just so happens that I could give it another pass and make it more scathing to take out some of my stress over...well...everything. Anyway, enjoy!

14 weeks

Devi walked out of her sociology class slower than usual. Her leg cramped up during class and then she had a sharp pain in her hip joint. Pregnancy did weird things to a person’s body. But other than those minor issues, she was actually feeling much better than she had in weeks. All the bruising from the car accident was healed and she didn’t flinch when she heard an ambulance siren. 

“Excuse me!” a girl from her class was waving her over to the building exit. “Devi?”

The girl was definitely a freshman. That’s what Devi got for putting off some of these useless filler classes until her senior year. She got stuck in class with a lot of kids. 

“Hi, uh,” she racked her brain to try to remember the girl’s name but came up empty. “Hey you.” 

“Do you mind sharing  your notes from class on Monday? I slept late and since I shared mine with you a couple weeks ago when you were skipping…” The girl trailed off and looked at Devi expectantly. 

“I wasn’t skipping,” Devi answered, offended by the implication. “I was in the hospital.” 

“Right,” the girl said, nodding as if they were sharing a little secret. 

“No, I was literally in the hospital. Someone wrecked my car. It was awful. I panicked because-” The girl, oh, Kelsey, her name was Kelsey, she looked at Devi unphased and Devi gave up trying to explain. “Yeah, I’ll email you my notes from Monday.” 

“Thanks!” Kelsey kept walking with her to the parking lot and Devi tried to think of something kind to say. Anything. Just to make this less awkward. 

“Damn,” Kelsey let out, slow, like she was in a trance. “Who is that? I’ve never seen him around.” 

Devi looked up to see Paxton leaning on the hood of the Jeep waiting for her. She smiled and he smiled back. 

“Ma’am, I’ve been hanging out on campus this morning and I think I’m ready to state with finality, through my extensive, peer reviewed research, that you are the hottest woman at Princeton.” 

Kelsey put her hand on her chest like she might faint. Did she think he was talking to her?

“You saw the pool, your research is an incredibly small sample size,” Devi said, shaking her head and handing Paxton her book bag. “This feels a little like high school right now. I’m having some dejavu.” Paxton leaned down and kissed her on the lips. “High school was a good time for me. Especially when this girl I loved agreed to date me.” 

“I don’t remember it happening like that,” Devi countered, rolling her eyes. 

“Oh my god, that’s your boyfriend,” Kelsey exclaimed. 

Paxton didn’t miss a beat, he turned to Kelsey, smiled and waved. “Her husband, actually. I am married to the hottest woman at Princeton.” 

Devi felt her face warm but then Kelsey turned up her nose. 

“That’s so sad. You could do so much better,” she said before turning on her heel. 

Devi shook her head and reached for the door handle. She wanted to get in the car and leave and never come back to the class she shared with that bitch, Kelsey. But Paxton shouted after Kelsey. 

“Hey!” When Kelsey turned back to him he put on his fake smile and Devi worried what he was about to do. “What’s your name?”

“Me? I’m Kelsey,” she said, her voice had a flirty lilt that Devi didn’t care for. 

“Kelsey?” Paxton asked, fake smile still intact. 

“Yes?”

“Fuck off,” he said, his fake smile falling. He glared hard when she flipped him off and turned around to go. 

“How am I supposed to sit next to that girl in class now?” Devi asked, exasperated but grateful. “Move across the room?” Paxton offered before he shut her door. Devi appreciated the way he stood up for her but this also felt like high school, someone suggesting the two of them didn’t belong together. She didn’t like feeling less than because of some freshman but it did sting. 

When Paxton got into the Jeep he turned and kissed her. Deeper this time. One hand tangling in her hair, the other holding her cheek. His hand lingered on her chin as he pulled back. That felt a little like high school, too. “You’re beautiful and I love you and if anything, you’re getting hotter, while I definitely peaked in high school.”

She gave him a soft smile and felt her heart tug at the way he was looking at her. “You did not peak in high school.” “You won’t be saying that when I lose my hair.” He laughed and put the Jeep in drive. “Will you still love me when I lose my hair?”

Devi thought for a moment and then shook her head. “No, because I’m shallower than you are. But by then we’ll be staying together for the kids so I’ll be stuck.” 

Paxton laughed again, louder this time. “Oh good, I’m safe then.” 

—

As they headed to the airport security line, Devi turned to Paxton suddenly. “Did you remember to go to Sephora and get the travel size stuff?” She took her shoes off and put them in a bin as he lifted the one suitcase they were sharing for the trip onto the conveyor belt. 

“Yes,” he answered, taking his own shoes off. 

“Aw, your boyfriend went to Sephora for you?” one of the TSA agents asked Devi, hearts in her eyes. 

“He’s my husband and he went for himself. He’s the one with the seven step skincare routine,” Devi said, shaking her head. The agent, a middle aged woman with red hair, laughed. 

Paxton gestured for Devi to go ahead and walk through the metal detector then turned to the agent. “She only has a three step skincare routine. But she’s getting hotter with age. I’m only going to get worse so the least I can do is moisturize and use a couple serums, ya know?” 

Devi stepped into the scanner and lifted her arms. 

“Wait!” Paxton stopped them. “Is this safe for pregnant people?”

The red headed TSA agent looked at him like he was crazy. “Of course it is.”

“He’s just panicked because I was in a car accident a few weeks ago and we had a little scare with the baby so now he’s like this.” Devi gestured to him. He looked so anxious. “He’s overprotective to a fault.”

The agent looked at Paxton, then over at their bag going through the X-ray machine, then at Devi. She noticeably glanced at Devi’s barely showing belly (especially with the chunky sweater she was wearing) and then looked over Devi’s shoulder at Paxton. 

“Alright, but you, Mr. Skincare, have to walk through the scanner.” She tipped her head to direct Devi to walk through the other archway that was the less invasive metal detector. 

Paxton sighed, relieved, and eagerly walked through the scanner. Devi grabbed her shoes out of the bin on the other side of the machine and thanked the woman. 

“I’d say he’s a keeper but you look exasperated so you do whatever makes you happy, sweetie. Keep him, toss him, follow your bliss.” 

Devi laughed. “About an hour ago a college freshman said he could do better than me so thank you.”

“God, what do 18 year olds know? And did they not see you? You’re gorgeous, sweetie, he's right, you’re only getting better.” The woman was so sincere, Devi felt tears well in her eyes. “I remember with my second baby I always felt so ugly but I look back at pictures and I was beautiful, just didn’t feel it on account of feeling like I’d swallowed a basketball and oh my god, I had the worst acne! Worse during pregnancy than when I was a teenager! But you just forget that feeling. You’re making a person and that’s hard work. That freshman can take a long walk off a short pier.”

Devi felt tears fall down her cheek. She wiped quickly at her face to try and hide it but the agent smiled again. “You’re gonna be okay. Mr. Skincare, go get this woman some french fries before you get on that plane.” Paxton nodded as he finished putting his shoes back on. He took the suitcase and put his arm around Devi and guided her out. “It’s not pregnancy hormones,” Devi squeaked out, trying to get herself under control. 

“I know, you just cry a lot,” Paxton said. 

--

Thankfully, Devi wanted to catch up on The Bachelorette while they were in the air and Paxton was thrilled to do it. The chances of her crying during The Bachelorette were low. (But never zero so he was a little concerned it could still happen.) To Paxton, the second trimester was less puking and more outbursts of tears. Plus this very small pudge on Devi’s stomach. It was cute. And surreal. 

“Hurry up!” Trent shouted from across the terminal, waving his arms. “Your flight was delayed ten minutes in the air and now we’re gonna be late!” 

In general, Trent was not worried about being punctual to anything, ever, so Paxton knew something was up. When he got in the passenger seat of Trent’s car he barely had time to buckle his seatbelt before Trent was pulling out and speeding towards the airport exit. 

“What the hell, Trent?” Devi asked before even Paxton could. “It’s just dinner with Eleanor. She doesn’t care if we’re a few minutes late.” 

“Did she text you?” Trent looked back at Devi in the backseat before averting his eyes to the front so he could drive. “Is she already there?”

“I’ll text her right now but I swear she’s gonna be chill with us being late.” Devi threw Paxton a look and he nodded. 

Paxton waited for Trent to say something, anything to explain this behavior but it took a solid minute before Trent started talking. 

“I haven’t seen Eleanor in two weeks,” Trent blurted out, equal parts annoyed and concerned. 

“In two weeks?” Paxton and Devi both asked shocked. 

“Yes. Do you see why I’m trying to get there?”

“She’s alive. I texted her like, all yesterday. But she didn’t say that she hadn’t seen you in two weeks.” Devi looked worried now. 

“She missed Eggs and Edibles?” Paxton asked. “Twice?”

Eggs and Edibles was the name that Eleanor made up for her and Trent’s typical Sunday brunch hangout. It started back in high school when he would bring her a breakfast sandwich when she had rehearsal before the school play but they kept it up as their thing since then. Whether they were or weren’t dating. Everyone knew that Trent and Eleanor hung out on Sunday, midmorning. And got high. 

“Yes,” Trent muttered.

Paxton wanted to ask follow up questions but he couldn’t think of one that wouldn’t hurt Trent’s delicate feelings. (He was very sensitive. Always had been. He was the king of dishing it and not being able to take it.) 

Devi handled it though. “Did you piss her off? Or is she just seeing someone new?” “I hope I pissed her off,” Trent said, glancing at Paxton and shaking his head. 

When they made it to the restaurant, Eleanor was indeed inside already but she didn’t mind that they were late. She was having a brightly colored drink and laughing at...the dude sitting next to her at the table. “Hi!” Eleanor jumped up to hug Devi and Paxton and stopped right before Trent and sat down before even looking at him. “This is Todd.” She gestured to him like she was Vanna White. Todd offered his hand to shake. 

“Phew. Meeting the best friends,” Todd said, taking Paxton’s hand, then Devi’s. “That’s more important than the parents, right?” He reached out to Trent and Eleanor looked at him finally, demanding with her eyes that Trent behave and just shake the guy’s hand. Trent did so and Eleanor gave him a tight smile. 

“I think you can take it down a few notches, Todd,” Devi said, sitting down in the chair across from him while Paxton sat across from Eleanor. “This is a Chili’s.” 

Paxton stifled a laugh behind a cough and picked up the menu. Trent sat on the end of the table stiffly. 

“So, how are you feeling, Devi?” Eleanor asked and then turned to Todd. “She’s pregnant. She found out at Christmas and then Paxton went back to Jersey with her and they got married a couple weeks ago out of nowhere. I mean, it’s not out of nowhere, you two have been an off and on thing forever.” Eleanor finished her rambling and turned back to Devi to signal she could answer the question now but Todd laughed. 

“Man, I would be freaking the fuck out if I accidentally knocked somebody up.” He nodded at Paxton and Trent as if they should agree with him but Paxton bristled. 

“We’re happy about this, thanks,” he said.  

“Yeah, if they’d wanted to get her an abortion, they would have done that, like Eleanor got last year.” Trent said it so casually and then was looking around for the server. “I need a beer, stat,” he muttered. 

Todd looked at Eleanor surprised though. “You had an abortion?”

“Yeah,” she said with a shrug. She kicked Paxton under the table, hitting his shin. Paxton assumed she was aiming for Trent so he kept his yelp of pain as quiet as he could but he definitely made a face. Paxton cleared his throat and looked at Devi who was trying not to laugh. 

“I don’t believe in abortion,” Todd crowed proudly like a goddamn Republican pastor who believed in conversion therapy. 

Trent, Eleanor, Paxton, and Devi all stared at Todd in horrified shock. 

“You just said you’d be freaking the fuck out if you got someone accidentally pregnant,” Trent jumped in first. 

“I had a great reason to have an abortion, Todd, I didn’t want to be pregnant,” Eleanor said. 

“What the fuck, dude?” Paxton managed while he felt Devi quietly seethe next to him. 

“Hi, welcome to Chili’s, can I get you some drinks and apps to start?” their server, a girl in a sunshine yellow shirt with hoop earrings and a full face of makeup, interrupted. 

They gave their drink orders and by the time she left, the tension had dissipated mostly, but Devi was still tense next to him. He put his hand on her knee and squeezed, giving her a smile. 

“Did you find out if your role on the CSI reboot is gonna stay in the episode?” Devi asked Eleanor. He could see her jaw was tense but when Eleanor answered excitedly in the positive, Devi seemed to exhale. 

“Yes!” Eleanor shifted into her bubbly, vibrant self again. Buzzing with excitement. “I am going to be on TV next week as Dead Girl Number 1! Wanna see some pics from the set?” She was already pulling out her phone to show them. “Yeah, we wanna see pics from the set!” Devi said with more than necessary excitement, until Paxton noticed Todd rolled his eyes. 

“It’s not even a named character,” Todd threw to Trent…as if that wasn’t the worst possible thing he could do. 

Trent’s hands balled into fists and he took a breath, ready to defend Eleanor but Devi cut in, “Dead Girl Number 1 is huge!”

Todd snorted but Eleanor perked up. 

“Did your flashback scene make it in the episode, too?” she asked. 

Eleanor clasped her hands and smiled wide. “Obviously, there’s no way to know for sure until it airs, but one of the PAs said I had two scenes in so hopefully it’s the dead body reveal and the flashback. Dead Girl Number 2, a role I’ve played many times before, was completely cut. Not even a sheet pull back on her, poor thing. It’s rough out there.” 

“You were the best Dead Girl Number 2 in that episode of Law and Order . Totally hot.” Trent glared at Todd. 

The server came back with drinks and spinach dip and the conversation halted for a minute. Eleanor dipped her straw in and out of her water cup since she’d finished her bright drink from the bar. 

“Do you guys know if it’s a boy or a girl yet?” Eleanor asked.

“We could know,” Devi answered with a look at Paxton. He rolled his eyes. 

“I’m not saying we should wait until the baby is born, I’m just saying we should examine why knowing the baby’s gender assigned at birth is so important?” Paxton took a pull of the IPA he’d ordered and then waved at Trent. “Trent’s cousin, Arrow, is nonbinary, maybe that’s what our kid will be. Why should we limit things to pink and blue?”

Devi blew a raspberry at him. “I don’t even like pink or blue! I think yellow and green are bomb colors for a baby! And if you think me, of all people, would treat a girl or a boy differently based on nonsensical standards of performative gender, I continue to be offended by the assumption.” 

“Why not just wait a little longer? What does it hurt?”

Devi’s face softened and she turned back to the others. “This is actually because he wants a girl and doesn’t want to think he’s wrong. I think it’s a boy and all this talk of patriarchy and sexism in parenting is more about his 50/50 chance he’s wrong and I’m right.” 

Trent nodded, a knowing smile on his face. Todd’s face was screwed up in disgust. 

“Biology says otherwise,” Todd said as if he’d won the non existent argument. 

“What biology classes are-” Devi started but Eleanor cut her off. “Oh my god, shut up, you’re embarrassing me.” 

“You’re cute when you’re angry,” Todd said, leaning in to kiss her but she pulled back. Paxton saw Trent clench his fist like he was saying “yes!” to himself. 

“So you guys are going back to Jersey on Monday?” Eleanor pretended not to notice Todd’s irritation at being shut down. 

“Yeah, I’m not looking forward to going back to my intro to art class with Kelsey, the freshman who Paxton bullied earlier today.” Devi was trying to joke but Paxton knew she was hurt by what her younger classmate said. 

“Maybe she’ll drop the class out of embarrassment,” Paxton said.

“If my guy bullied some girl, she probably deserved it,” Trent said as though he too noticed Devi’s joke frosted unease. 

“She said I could do better,” Paxton explained. “Better than Devi? The girl I’ve been lowkey in love with since I was 16?”

“You’ve never been lowkey about it,” Eleanor laughed. “Devi’s boy crazy levels have always been off the chart though. She was ping ponging from one crush to the next back then.” 

“Was not!” Devi put a hand on her chest, over exaggerating.

“Sounds like you were kind of slutty,” Todd muttered but everyone at the table heard. 

Paxton felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. His skin was hot and he could have flipped the table they were all sitting at if Devi hadn’t acted quicker, knocking her water over so it spilled all over Todd. 

There was a time when she was younger when she would have punched poor Todd for his bad taste and rude comments. Her temper was barely restrained back then. So he marveled at how she’d learned to use her temper as a slick weapon, a sniper rifle, that could be silenced and she could claim ignorance. 

“I’m so sorry,” she deadpanned as Todd jumped up, water all over his lap. Eleanor stood up too, but she handed Todd the cloth napkin her silverware was wrapped in and the fork and spoon and steak knife clattered to the floor, causing Todd to jump again. 

“I think you should go home,” Eleanor said firmly. “And probably lose my number.” 

His face was dour as he wiped at his pants, as if that would dry the water all over him. “You’re a bitch.” 

Paxton stood up now, knowing he’d need to hold Trent back but before he could reach for him, Todd spoke again, “And a terrible actress.” 

And before Paxton could do anything, Trent was swinging. His first swing missed, Todd showed a shocking amount of awareness to duck as Trent swung and then pushed Trent back. People screamed and shouted and Paxton moved around Devi to try and break up the two men wrestling on the floor. He could make out Eleanor screaming Trent’s name. He couldn’t be sure, but he thought he heard Devi say to a bystander, “The guy had it coming.” 

—

Devi pushed open the door for Eleanor. The cool air of Sherman Oaks’ “winter” evaporated any sweat Devi felt on her face immediately. 

“I can’t believe I let that guy tie me up during sex, I could have been murdered!” Eleanor shouldn’t have said it so loud. 

They approached Paxton and Trent, Trent with an ice pack to his cheek and Paxton doing some little game with his feet and the curb. Devi and Eleanor stayed behind after Paxton broke up the fight to pay the bill and beg the Chili’s manager not to call the cops. The manager recognized Eleanor from a local car dealership ad and took pity on them when she explained how bad of a date the whole event turned into. 

“You let that guy tie you up?” Trent whined. “What the hell, E?”

“Look, it’s not that you’re supremely skilled or anything, it’s just that you know how to give me la petite mort!” 

“And other people have not been able to make you cum in French?”

Eleanor blushed and Devi knew she should be embarrassed to hear this conversation but she was enjoying it thoroughly. She loved drama when she wasn’t the center of it. 

“They tie me up and it usually gets the job done but-”

Devi saw Paxton cringe and then his eyes turned to hers, pleading to get out of the area but she shook her head. 

“But I get it done without any mildly kinky shit,” Trent said, lowering the ice pack and giving Eleanor what were definitely bedroom eyes. 

“Yes, but that’s just because we’ve been having sex for years. You were my first, for fuck’s sake. It’s not like…an accomplishment. It’s just something you know how to do!” Eleanor waved her arms big but Trent mirrored her movement so he could pull her arms down to her sides. He dropped the ice and held her hands, looking at her with what Devi knew for sure was love. He’d been looking at Eleanor like that since high school and at this moment she was a little jealous at how easy it was for them. They dated steadily through, no break ups. No back and forths like she and Paxton did in school. No ping ponging from crush to crush for Trent or Eleanor. 

Of course, what did she have to be jealous of, now? She could just enjoy this little scene unfolding, watching her friends come back to each other. Devi looked over at Paxton and smiled, wide, her tongue hitting her teeth. He smiled back and Devi felt weak in the knees.

[soramei]

From Resentment (hhj)

Pairing: Hyunjin x Reader (she/her)

Summary: After a fated meeting involving a cute and fluffy puppy, you found yourself drawn to Hwang Hyunjin: the school prince. Everybody in high school loved him. It was hard not to. Not only was he rich, smart, and athletic, but he was also incredibly kind-hearted.

However, one day seemingly out of the blue, everything that you thought Hyunjin was came crashing down.

Now a freshman in university, you were excited to live out your dreams. That was, until Hyunjin came hurtling back into your life like an uncontrolled meteor. His presence threw a curveball on all your plans, and would eventually change your perspective on everything that you thought you knew.

Genre: studentl!hyunjin au, angst, enemies to lovers

Warnings: cursing, tw puking

Word Count: 8.8k

Masterlist

A/N: Not an Intentional update but a hyunjin oneshot!! disclaimer: no aspect of hyunjins personality here was drawn from real life — irl hyunjin is a ray of sunshine <3

You looked at your math homework, proud that you got all the answers correct. Since it was a slow afternoon at your job today, you had extra time to focus on your homework. The boss at the convenience store you worked at allowed you to have your homework out, as long as it was hidden behind the cash register.

As you stared at the rest of your homework, you started to feel the weight of tenth grade pile up on you. Because it was your first year of high school, you were still trying to adjust to everything; your grades, your teachers, and all the new students walking around the halls.

You stuffed the rest of your homework in your backpack. It was the end of your shift, and you wanted to go home as soon as possible to start with the rest of your studying. Crap. No matter how hard you tried to zip up your backpack, it wouldn’t close. After trying one more time, the zipper tore from your backpack.

You cursed under your breath. You couldn’t afford to buy a new backpack right now.

You had just been able to afford your new school uniform by taking up extra shifts at the convenience store, and you still needed money for your grandmother’s prescriptions. You sighed, annoyed to have another monetary stressor weighing on your shoulders.

Walking outside with your now torn backpack, your eyes widened at the group of boys in front of you. You immediately recognized them from behind.

The school princes. These three seniors were all known for three things: being extremely smart, handsome, and talented.

On the left was Seungmin, and from what you’ve heard, he was the smart and quiet one. He was always helping the teachers, being the class president and all. Any time a girl or a boy needed academic help, Seungmin was there and happy to assist.

The person on the right was Jisung. With his charming and charismatic personality, he had dated tens upon tens of girls in his grade. Just in the last year. It helped that he was really good looking — and also stinkin’ rich. His father was a notorious restaurateur, and with him being the first son, he was basically given unlimited spending rights.

The only person richer than Jisung was the boy in the center of them both: Hwang Hyunjin. This boy was the school prince. The prince of princes. He somehow managed to participate in music clubs, engage in study groups, and captain the soccer team all the while keeping up excellent grades. Every girl that Jisung had dated was said to have been rejected by Hyunjin first. That was his only flaw: he was notoriously cold to any and all romantic confessions.

You followed behind the three princes, staring at your torn up sneakers. You knew you didn’t exist in their world, but even being near three handsome and rich teenage boys made you nervous.

Suddenly, you heard a whimper coming from behind a bush to the left of you. It sounded like a hurt animal.

Worried and curious, you walked over to the bush to see what it was.

It was a puppy. Small and fluffy, it looked up at you with it’s beady black eyes and cried out. His paw was bleeding.

You panicked. Having never seen a hurt puppy before, you had no idea what to do. You called out for help.

“Help!” you cried, hoping that somebody had heard your call for help. You desperately wanted to help this hurt puppy, but you hesitated to touch it, afraid that you would hurt the animal even more.

The puppy howled in pain, making your panic rise. You were about to call out for help again, when you heard somebody running up behind you.

“What is it?” The voice asked.

“I-I don’t know. I just saw this dog here, and-and his paw is bleeding,” you anxiously stuttered.

“Here, let me take a look.”

You heard the voice behind you, so you shuffled over to make room.

It was Hwang Hyunjin. The person that responded to your cry for help was the most popular and well-liked person in the school. You were shocked, a bit intimidated actually, so you silently moved to the side for him. His black hair shone in the sunlight as he bent down to examine the dog.

“Come here, boy,” he chirped. The puppy listened, and started limping to him. “Something hurt you, didn’t it.”

He stood up, picking the puppy up along with him.

“C’mon,” he gestured with his head, “my vet isn’t too far from here actually. We can make it by walking.”

You silently nodded and followed him.

He was right. The walk to the veterinarian clinic, though very awkward, wasn’t too far. The clinic was empty at this time of day, with the receptionist being the only person in the room.

“Hyunjin! Always a pleasure,” the receptionist beamed. It seemed like Hyunjin’s likeability wasn’t only confined to your school. “My, what do we have here?”

“There’s something wrong with his paw,” Hyunjin tried to show the receptionist where the blood was coming from, “is the doctor free right now?”

“As a matter of fact, he is,” the receptionist said whilst checking the schedule. “I’ll take this little boy to the back where he can get prepped for the veterinarian.”

Hyunjin handed the puppy carefully to the receptionist. The receptionist took out a crate for the dog, put him in, and then disappeared through the back door. The two of you were now left alone in the waiting room.

“Uhm,” you coughed, “thank you. I know you probably want to get back to your friends, so you can leave now.”

“No, I’ll stay,” he looked at you and smiled, “those idiots are just playing LOL at the PC room anyways. Plus, I want to see how this little boy turns out.”

You smiled back at him, nodding your head. A few moments of awkward silence passed.

“I’m Hyunjin by the way,” he said.

“I know. I’m Y/n.”

“You’re in your first year, right?” he said, looking at the colour of your uniform.

“Yeah, it’s so hard to get used to though. I’m trying my best with my homework, but I think this school stuff just doesn’t click with me,” you rambled.

“Oh?”

“I want to go into dance. I’ve never been able to afford professional lessons, but I’ve always wanted to go to university for dance. My grandparents said they would let me if my school grades were high.” You didn’t know why you were giving your life story to Hyunjin. He just had this natural charisma that made you want to spill everything to him. It was the way he looked at you with those cat-like eyes.

“I know what you mean. It took me forever to convince my parents for me to major in dance. I got in by early admittance, but I’m sure they still have their reservations about my major.”

“You’re majoring in dance?” you asked, eyes wide.

He smiled. “I’ve loved dancing ever since I could remember. It’s my passion, and truthfully, the only thing I’ve got going for me.”

You were shocked. At school, Hyunjin was known for so many things other than dancing. Hell, you didn’t even know he enjoyed dancing and you thought you’d heard everything about him already.

The two of you chatted for a while longer before the vet came out with the now happy looking dog.

“It seemed like this little guy got into a fight with something, and he got a pretty large gash on his paw. Luckily, it wasn’t bleeding too much so I just gave him some anaesthetic and stitched it right up.”

You sighed in relief. “Thank god he isn’t too hurt.”

“Yes, it’s good that it wasn’t too bad,” the veterinarian agreed. “I’m assuming this is your dog? As soon as you finish with the bill, I can release this little guy and the both of you are ready to go.”

Oh yeah. The bill.

Although you knew you couldn’t afford to pay the vet bill, you didn’t know where this little dog would go if you couldn’t take him home. You did the mental calculations, and if you worked some extra shifts, you could probably be able to pick up the bill today. Buying a new backpack could be saved for another day.

“Sure, where can I pay?” you asked.

“Just over by the receptionist.” The veterinarian pointed.

You walked over to the receptionist, and she handed the bill over to you.

You almost fainted.

Just the anaesthetic and the stitches alone cost over two hundred dollars. This was extremely over your budget, and probably even more than the amount in your savings. You felt uneasy.

“Uhm, actually, I don’t think I can-”

“Do you take cash?”

Hyunjin had interrupted you, walked up to the receptionist, and pulled out his wallet. He peaked over your shoulder and took out a huge wad of cash to hand to the receptionist.

“Hyunjin, you don’t have to,” you begged. You felt bad that this guy you didn’t even know had just offered to cover you for over two hundred dollars.

“Think of it as a good luck gift from a fellow dancer.” He smiled.

That was when it clicked. You didn’t know what clicked, but it just did. It was his smile. It was the way the corners of his eyes crinkled up and how the corners of his lips pinched at the end. You now understood why all the girls at school were in love with him. He was quite literally perfect.

You thanked him profusely, even after the two of you had left the clinic. With the dog in your hand, you walked side by side with Hyunjin.

“So,” he started, “have you thought of a name for this guy yet?”

Oh yeah — he was your dog now. “Hmm, I don’t know yet.”

“What about Coco?”

“Coco?”

“Yeah, let’s see if he likes it.” Hyunjin leaned in and cooed at the little puppy. “Hi, little Coco!”

The puppy’s eyes lit up, and with his tongue stretched out, he started panting.

“I guess he likes it,” Hyunjin smiled. God, his smile could melt all of Antarctica.

“Coco it is.” You poked at Coco’s nose.

Hyunjin was about to say something back to you when his phone buzzed. He took a peak, rolled his eyes, then smiled. “My friends are god awful at games. I swear, they can’t even win one round without me. You’re okay with going home alone?”

He was going to walk you home? Could he be any more perfect?

You nodded your head. “Thank you, Hyunjin. I’ll pay you back for the bill one day.”

“No need,” he winked. “Like I said, it’s a good luck gift. Oh, and you can ask me if you need help with any school work. Anything to help a fellow dancer.”

He waved goodbye, then went running off in the other direction. You held Coco close to you, heart pounding. Although you didn’t want to be like all the other girls who fell for him, you felt like you were already falling for Hyunjin.

-

The next day, you had planned to go shopping for dog supplies after school. After a really long and arduous debate with yourself, you decided to sacrifice all of your savings in order to buy everything that Coco needed. You knew Hyunjin owned a dog himself, so throughout the whole day, you worked up the nerve to ask Hyunjin to come with you.

At the end of last period, you gathered all your stuff from your desk and headed to the soccer field where you knew Hyunjin and his friends would be. Whilst you crossed the field, you noticed Jisung staring at you. You found his stare intimidating, but you tried to brush it off. He then whispered something in Hyunjin’s ear.

“Hi, Hyunjin,” you said anxiously, biting your lip. “Umm, do you want to come with me to shop for Coco?”

He stared at you for a couple seconds, then, a look of disgust appeared on his face. “Why? So you can use my wallet again?”

You stared back at him, wide eyed. Who was this person? It wasn’t the Hyunjin that so graciously helped you out yesterday.

“W-what? No!” you exclaimed. “I-I just wanted your opinion…”

“Sure,” Hyunjin smirked coldly, “opinion my ass.”

“Hyunjin,” tears were pooling in your eyes, “I don’t understand.”

“If you need money so much, here.” He reached in his pocket and turned up a wad of cash, throwing it at your feet. “Just don’t come to me next time. And buy yourself a new pair of shoes while you’re at it.”

You looked down at the money, trying to hold back your tears. Why was Hyunjin being like this? You didn’t understand. His two jockeys beside him didn’t even bother to stop him. As you tried to stop yourself from crying, you felt your sadness turn into rage.

“I don’t need your stupid money,” you said, kicking the cash back to him. “Maybe you can use your daddy’s money to buy yourself a new personality.”

Hyunjin’s two friends tried to hold back their snickers at your words. Hyunjin heard, turned around, and gave them both death stares.

You didn’t bother to listen to whatever he was going to say next and simply stomped away, rage burning inside you. Everything about him was a lie. His charming and charismatic personality, his generosity, his kindness. They were all lies. He really was nothing but a rich, spoiled boy living with his father’s money.

There was rage behind every step you took. Wiping away your tears, you headed to your locker. You didn’t need him anyways; it was better to realize his true personality earlier rather than later. Hands shaking from anger, you dialed the combination to your locker.

“Hey, sorry about what happened earlier.” A voice came from behind you. “He can be a real jerk sometimes.”

It was Jisung. You rolled your eyes. You didn’t want to see him either.

“Why didn’t you do anything about it then?” Your voice came out shaky. It was obvious that you had cried.

“Once he starts, there’s no stopping him. It’s usually better to let him finish uninterrupted, or else he will get more mad.”

“Oh,” you said. Your hatred for Hyunjin grew even more.

“I could come with you, though. I don’t know much about dogs, but I can help you carry your bags.”

“I don’t know…”

“C’mon, no way you can carry everything by yourself.”

You hesitated. “Okay, I guess.”

And so, you left for the pet store with Jisung, still confused about everything that had happened. It was strange with him. He was nice and cracked a joke every now and then, but it was just different from being with Hyunjin. At least he was nice, you thought.

Your trip went well. You managed to buy everything you needed for Coco. In a turn of events, Jisung had actually come in handy as he offered to carry the huge bag of dog food you bought. He even offered to buy you a coffee.

“Thanks for all your help, Jisung.” You stood outside the door of your apartment, smiling at him.

“No problem, gives me an excuse to work out my guns.” He pretended to flex his arms.

You choked back a laugh.

“You should get going now. It’s late,” you said.

“Alright,” he started to leave. “Hey, if you see me in the halls, feel free to say hi.”

You nodded and waved to him as he turned and walked away, remembering his words. Every time you saw Jisung in the school hallways, you gave him a small wave in which he happily returned. However, whenever you saw him walking with Hyunjin, you made sure to purposely avoid them. You didn’t want any negativity in your life.

You kept up the waves, and soon, waves turned to small conversations which soon turned to flirting. By the end of the semester, you and Jisung somehow ended up as a couple. Jisung was polite and sweet, unlike a certain person. With every free moment you had, you hung out with Jisung — all the while avoiding Hyunjin.

The two of you stayed a couple for the rest of Jisung’s senior year. Somehow, the two of you had even kept up your relationship throughout your whole high school experience. It was hard at times as he went to university, but with a lot of effort, you had made your relationship work out. You barely had time to talk with him, but you enjoyed the little time that you did have. Jisung had never even once mentioned Hyunjin when you were together, and with time, you had totally forgotten about that jerk. You weren’t even sure if they were still friends.

You worked hard in school and reaped all the benefits. Your rank had consistently been in the top twenties amongst all the other students, and you even had time to practice your dancing. You remembered the day that you received your acceptance letter from university. Hands shaking, you had barely managed to open the letter all the way before you screamed. You had gotten into university with your dream major: dance.

Because of your excellent grades, you were able to pay a lot of your tuition with scholarship money alone. You hesitantly decided to quit your job at the convenience store to focus on university. Although quitting meant that your bank account would take a big hit, you decided that it would be best in the long run. There was a lot in your savings, and you even had a little extra to buy a new outfit for your first day of school.

Jisung had been busy on the first day of university. He had previously promised to show you around campus, but with him being a no-show, you wandered around by yourself to try to find your classes. You had trouble with the campus map at first, but after walking around for a bit, you were able to find all your classes with ease.

Your first few classes were a snore. Because they were all theory, you had to down two cups of coffee in order to stay awake. Somehow, you managed to take coherent notes despite being bored out of your mind. You just wanted to dance.

The good thing was, after sitting through many classes, your time to dance finally came. Your last class of the day was an introduction to dance course, and you couldn’t wait to go. You wanted to know your teacher, your peers, and most importantly, express yourself.

The dance class was in a studio in the university’s fitness center. It was huge, way bigger than the tiny gym in your high school. Upon entering the studio, you were immediately met with the sight of students, exactly like you, already stretching. You chose a spot in the room and started stretching as well, making good use of your time before the instructor comes in.

After some time, most of the students — including you — had finished stretching and were sitting in silence waiting for the instructor. The door swung open, breaking the silence. The instructor had come in.

“Hello new students,” he said, “welcome to Dance 100. Today, I will go through the curriculum with you as well as introduce your final project.”

The instructor whipped out a projection of the curriculum and started explaining the purpose of the course, what you would be graded on, and how you would be graded. He then read through his class expectations before moving to your final project.

“This final project will act in place of a final exam,” he explained. “You will be required to create a dance that includes everything we’ve learned in class and write an essay explaining all the elements in your dance. It will be worth half your grade.”

The class gasped in surprise. Not only did this project sound extremely difficult for a first year course, but the fact that it was worth half your grade made it borderline unfair.

“I know it might seem difficult, but worry not, you won’t be doing this alone. Every year, the first year dance students get mentored by the third year dance students for the final project. Each student has already been assigned a random mentor which will be introduced this class.”

The whole class murmured, talking amongst themselves and expressing their opinions on this project. It was definitely an interesting project. You hoped that you would be paired with a good mentor that would actually care about how well you did.

There was a knock on the door.

“Ah, this must be them.” Your instructor opened the door and a wave of third years came flooding in. Each one of them had a name tag pinned on their shirts. “Class, these are the third year students.”

You all politely greeted them.

“Now,” the instructor continued, “I will put the class list on the projector, and each of your names will correspond to a third year mentor.”

The instructor put out the list for display. You scanned down the list of names, eventually finding yours. Following the dots to your corresponding mentor, you almost choked on air when you saw yours.

It was Hwang Hyunjin.

You were at a loss for words. Just when you thought he was out of your life forever, the man that was so incredibly mean to you — the man you hated with your whole soul — was now your mentor. Just the thought of being in the same room as him filled you with disgust.

You scanned the sea of third year students, and your eyes immediately found him. He was staring back at you with the same shocked expression that you had on.

He looked different. Not only had he grown taller, but he had lost all his baby fat as well. His hair was different too. It was bleached blond and it almost hit his shoulders. What was the same, however, was his intense stare and his plump lips.

You walked over to him.

“You look different.” His eyes scanned up and down.

“So do you.” You clenched your jaw and sighed. “I guess we have to work together.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” he said flatly.

“Listen,” you copied his tone, “I’m not excited about this either, but I want to get a good grade for this class. If you don’t wanna help me, just say so and I’ll just work alone on this.”

“Don’t be stupid,” he rolled his eyes, “this is part of my grade too. I can’t let you fuck this up for the both of us.”

You rolled your eyes back at him and pressed your lips in a thin line. Ignoring what he said, you asked, “where do we start?”

“Let’s find a time to meet every week.” He pulled out the newest iPad model from his bag. Of course he would have the newest iPad. “I’m busy every day except Saturday, so let’s meet then.”

Way to consider your opinion. He was lucky that you weren’t busy on the weekends.

As Hyunjin worked on sorting his schedule, you took your time to look at how he had changed. With his hair blonde, he looked like a completely different person. You didn’t understand why he kept his hair long though. It kept falling in his eyes.

“Stop staring at me. It’s freaking me out.” He narrowed his eyes at you.

“I wasn’t.” You crossed your arms, defending yourself.

“Whatever.” He tucked his hair behind his ear and put his iPad back in his bag. “Don’t be late on Saturday.”

And with that, he left. You looked around the class. Most of the other students were still with their mentors, presumably getting to know each other and discussing the project. You almost wanted to ask your instructor to switch with somebody else, but that would mean passing on the nightmare known as Hwang Hyunjin onto a perfectly innocent person. You had your moments, but you weren’t evil.

The interaction with Hyunjin had left you in a sour mood for the rest of the day. You tried to study, but you were too distracted by the thought of having to work with that monstrosity for a whole semester. It was worth so much of your grade, too. You had just hoped that Hyunjin was as good at dance as he previously told you. You remembered him saying how dance was his passion in life. That was when you still liked him. Who knows, maybe he only said that so he could play you like every other girl he played with.

For the rest of the week, whenever you thought of the dance project, you were filled with dread. You tried to ignore it, and sometimes it worked, but most of the time it kept reappearing in your mind like a virus. The way Hyunjin had infected your mind bothered you to no end.

Time passed fast though, and before you knew it, Saturday had already come. Searching through your closet, you picked out a simple outfit for practice today. You slid on your tattered old sneakers and headed off to the studio that Hyunjin had told you to go to.

Entering the dance studio, you noticed that you were right on time. However, Hyunjin was not. Great… He made such a big deal over you being on time that he himself forgot to be punctual. You sat on the wood floors and started to do some stretches to warm up.

Eventually, after you finished your stretching, he entered the studio. With a girl. Holding a textbook, Hyunjin handed it to the girl and put on his signature deceitful smile. His ugly, perfect smile. The girl batted her eyes and waved her fingers goodbye before strolling out the door. You rolled your eyes at this, feeling bad for the girl. Hyunjin was playing her right in front of her own eyes and she didn’t even realize it.

“Were you really late because of a girl?” you sneered.

“Why do you care?” he retorted, flinging his bag to the corner of the room.

“I don’t.”

“Sure you don’t.”

Not wanting to waste time with that childish banter, you decided to end the conversation then and there. “Okay, well anyways, I’ll show you what I learned in class this week.”

Hooking up your phone to the speaker, you chose the song that you’ve been practicing with for the whole week. As the song progressed, you found it hard to not get lost in the music. Just dancing was the easy part; incorporating everything learned in class was another story. Although it was fairly difficult, you thought you executed everything very well as the song came to an end. Finishing up, you panted from exhaustion and looked at Hyunjin for his comments.

He stood, with his arms crossed across his torso, leaning against the speaker. There was a blank expression on his face.

“Not bad.” He started to walk up to you.

“But?”

“But you’re too stiff. You’re too focused on perfectly executing the technical moves that you forget to just move your body. Do what you did half-way through the song again.”

You turned the music on, trying to do the dance with Hyunjin’s criticisms in mind. Looking in the mirror, you did your best to show as much emotion as possible, all the while moving more fluidly. The room was filled with heavy bass and the squeaks from your sneakers.

Suddenly, the music was abruptly cut off.

Hyunjin had stopped the music and was making his way over, face still unreadable.

“You’re still trying too hard and it shows.” Hyunjin shook his head.

Clenching your jaw, you did your best to hold back your anger. Were you just not supposed to try? This annoyed you. Just because he didn’t need to try to be good at anything didn’t mean you couldn’t.

“Well,” you tried to say calmly, “how can I do this then?”

“You have to relax.” He put one hand on your hip and started to guide you. “Don’t focus on each individual aspect, but try to imagine everything as a whole. Then, things will come naturally.”

You followed his hand, allowing Hyunjin to guide you to his own rhythm. After a while, every movement felt so fluid and you didn’t even notice that your face started to match your movements. Glancing at your reflection, you gasped, noticing how different your dancing looked. You whipped your head to face Hyunjin, the two of your inches apart and breathing heavily.

“See,” he mumbled, looking down at you. “Once you stop thinking, everything just comes naturally.”

You looked back at the person inches away from you. It almost felt as if he was being kind. But you knew the type of person he was. You weren’t going to let this happen again. Snapping out of what weird trance you were in, you pushed him away in an act of self perseverance.

He didn’t say anything.

“I’ll try again,” you said.

Hyunjin strolled over to the speaker and turned on the music. This time, you didn’t think about anything you learned in class or Hyunjin’s criticisms. You just trusted in your body. Everything else was blank.

Taking a step forward while still in your trance, your shoe lost its grip on the floor, causing you to fall right on your knee. You cried in pain, holding on to your knee.

“Fuck,” Hyunjin hissed. He ran over and bent down to your level. “Can you move it?”

“I think so.” You tried to straighten your knee. It hurt, but you were still able to do it. There would most likely be a nasty bruise there the next morning.

“You’re still wearing those scraps that you call shoes? They’re literally coming apart at the seams. This is going to happen again if you don’t get new ones.”

You blushed in embarrassment from his remarks. “I’m not going to spend money on things that I don’t need.”

“Well, you need shoes. Just go buy a new pair later.”

Was he being serious? Or was he just spoiled?

“Hyunjin, not everybody can just go spend money whenever they want,” you loudly sighed. “Unlike you, I need to consider my budget for most things.”

“Well, why can’t you ask your boyfriend to buy it?” he sneered. “Seems like you’re good at doing that.”

How did he know you were still dating Jisung? What did he mean by ‘good at doing that’?

“What?” You crossed your eyebrows. “Do you think I’m with him just for his money? Do I really look like that kind of person to you?”

“You used me for my money,” he mumbled under his breath.

“What?” You couldn’t hear him right.

“Nevermind, rehearsal's over.” He stomped off, leaving you alone in the practice room holding on to your injured knee.

-

You busied yourself with everything and anything you could do over the weekend in order to forget what happened during rehearsal. However, no matter how hard you tried to forget, Hyunjin’s comments on your shoes stuck in your mind like glue.

During your shift at your job, you couldn’t help but keep staring at your worn sneakers. You never paid attention to your shoes before until now. They did the job, so why would you need to buy a new pair? Still, you unconsciously paid attention to every step you took.

On Monday’s dance class, you decided to go early. It was always nice to warm up in a room with other try-hards. They felt less judgemental than the others.

The studio barely had anybody in it this early before class. Everybody was either stretching or had already started going over what was taught last week. Shuffling your way over to your locker, you couldn’t help but compare everybody else’s shoes to your own. You’ve never cared about trivial matters such as shoes, but you couldn’t help but feel a little self conscious as your worn-in sneakers squeaked its way over to the lockers.

Opening your locker, your eyes widened, shocked at what you saw. Inside was a box containing a brand new pair of sneakers. It was an expensive brand as well, a brand that you never thought you would be touching in your life. You turned your head around, scanning the room. Everybody seemed to have been busy with their own thing.

Did somebody put these in your locker by mistake?

Taking the shoes out, you noticed a small slip of paper fly out. You picked up the note.

Keep these. I was a jerk.

You knew who had sent this. It was Hyunjin. You didn’t know what game he was trying to play at, but you weren’t going to fall for it like you did that day in high school. Gingerly putting the shoes back in your locker, you decided to return these back to Hyunjin at your next practice.

-

“No, I gave them to you as a gift.” Hyunjin turned his nose up at you, refusing to take back the shoes.

“Why would you give these to me if you think that I only use people for their money?”

“Because,” he rolled his eyes, “if you’re unable to dance then my grade is screwed as well.”

He made a good point, but you were stubborn. “Still…”

“You know what? Keep it, give it away, sell it, I don’t care. Let’s just start practice.”

After that dance practice, you threw your old shoes in the trash.

-

It was midterm season a month into school. You thought you had gone to hell and back with high school, but this was even worse. Each day consisted of waking up, studying, and going back to sleep. You lived on coffee and toast. It wasn’t much, but it gave you the energy to sit at the library for hours to study.

You didn’t see anybody during the midterm season, Instead, you chose to hermit yourself up at the library for days on end. This meant that, at least for a couple of weeks, your dance practice with Hyunjin was put on hiatus. Not that he minded, of course. He happily deleted the practices from his schedule.

You also didn’t see much of your boyfriend, Jisung. Ever since school started, he seemed to always be missing in action. He would almost never have time to be with you, and with the few moments that he was, it seemed like he was always so apathetic towards you. You brushed this off as stress though, as you finally knew what it was like to experience university exams.

It was a clear and sunny day on the morning you finished your last midterm. Leaving the exam room, you looked up to the sky, basking in the sun. Today was going to be a good day. Not only were you now stress free, but you were also invited to an end-of-midterm party for your dance class tonight. You had never gone to a university party before, so when a classmate asked if you wanted to go, you eagerly accepted.

Wrapping up your dance class, you stood at your locker, gathering the rest of your stuff.

“Hey.” An arm wrapped around you.

“Hey, Jisung.” You smiled, turning around to face him.

“You’re done all your midterms?”

“Yup.” You nodded happily.

He took a look at your shoes.

“New shoes?”

You hesitated in answering his question, not knowing where Jisung was with Hyunjin in terms of friendship. It was better to be truthful now rather than apologizing later.

“Hyunjin gave it to me.” You looked down, fiddling with your fingers. Why were you afraid of Jisung’s response?

“Wait, what? Hwang Hyunjin? Like from high school? Y/n, I thought you hated him.”

“I did! And I do,” you tried to explain, “but he had a reason to give me this.”

“Bullshit, Y/n. You’re really gonna believe any reason he pulls out of his ass? I thought you actually matured from high school.”

“Well, you would understand if you were around more often!” you yelled. You knew it was wrong to address other problems and blow this out of proportion, but you couldn’t think straight. Your mind was clouded with anger.

“What does this have to do with anything?” Jisung barked back. “What we’re talking about is how you, no matter how shitty of a person Hyunjin is, keep going back to him! Y/n, all that man does is take. He takes from you and he sure as hell takes everything from me. I won’t let that happen this time.”

When had he taken anything from you? All he had done was give.

“Jisung, let’s end this.”

“You’re right. Let’s cool down and talk later tonight.”

“No,” you shook your head, “I mean, let's end us.”

Jisung looked at you in disgust. “It’s Hyunjin, isn’t it?”

“No,” you vehemently denied, “Jisung, you never have time for me, and the little time we do have together you act like a different person. And now you’re being all possessive just because Hyunjin gave me a gift? I’m sorry, I just don’t see us recovering from this.”

“Fine, whatever.” Jisung turned around. “We’re done. But Y/n, don’t come running back to me when Hyunjin screws you over like he does with everybody.”

After Jisung left, you stomped your foot on the ground, tears pooling in your eyes. It was for the best — breaking up with him. For the past month, you hadn’t been happy with where your relationship was going, but this wasn’t the way you wanted to end an almost three year relationship.

Wiping away your tears, you tried to compose yourself before heading over to the pub. Jisung wasn’t worth the tears.

The walk to the pub wasn’t far as every establishment catered to students was a short walking distance from campus. For your entire walk over, you kept your head down so as to not receive looks from others. The headache from your cries and a blush of anger still lingered with you. Hopefully you’ll look somewhat normal by the time you reach the bar.

Checking your reflection once more in your phone camera, you fixed your hair a bit before going inside.

The bar was filled.

With students from both your dance class and the third year class, there was not an empty corner in sight. The music was loud, but the sounds of chatter coming from the students were louder. The place was dark, with the only source of light coming from very dim, bright blue LEDs.

It was surprising to see everybody in a different setting. You were used to the sight of your classmates being only in sweats and workout clothes, but now that they actually had time to get ready, everybody seemed like a completely different person.

You saw a few of your classmates wave at you, beckoning you over to where they were sitting. As soon as your butt landed on the chair, they spared no time to push a shot glass filled with clear liquor in front of you. You gladly took the drink, wanting to just let go and forget about everything that happened today. Holding back a cough, you scrunched your face as you felt the alcohol burn in your throat. It had been so long since the last time you drank.

After five you stopped counting. Partly because you knew you were going to drink more, but mostly because your head couldn’t even count to five anymore. Scrunching your eyes, you tried to focus on the blurry figure of your classmate complaining about her professor. Bored out of your mind as her mindless babble went on forever, your eyes started roaming around the bar. As your eyes wandered, you noticed somebody behind your classmate staring at you.

Hwang Hyunjin.

Even in your inebriated state of mind, you knew that it was Hyunjin. What other university student had the balls to bleach their whole head blonde? Your eyes met, and he ran a hand through his golden locks. Why do the most beautiful people harbour the most wretched personalities?

You tried to ignore his staring by focusing your attention back on your classmate, but eventually, you couldn’t help but glance back at him. He was still looking at you.

You saw a girl come up to him. She was the same girl that showed up with him on your first ever practice session. Because of the dimly lit bar and your drunken vision impairment, you had to really squint to make out what was going on. The girl, all smiley and giggly, put her hand on his shoulder, making Hyunjin break his eye contact with you. He smiled at the girl, mouthing words that were drowned out by the music. For some reason, this made you furious. Why was he so nice to everybody else but you? What had you ever done to him to make him hate you so much?

You kept your eyes on the girl, knowing full well that you shouldn’t have. You hated that — even on your night off, even when you had just broken up with your boyfriend — Hyunjin was still in your mind like an unkillable parasite. You hated the way he tucked his hair behind his ears. You hated how the corners of his eyes crinkled up when he smiled at her. You hated him.

You watched as she leaned in and whispered something in his ear, causing him to laugh. That was the last straw. In a drunken haze, you took your phone and bolted out the door, ignoring the concerns of all your classmates. Maybe it had been a mistake breaking up with Jisung. Maybe he really did know what was best for you.

Stumbling out onto the street, you tried to dial Jisung’s phone number. It proved to be too difficult of a task, however, as your drunken fingers could only tap on random numbers on the screen. You cried out of frustration.

“Y/n.”

The voice coming from behind you startled you, causing you to lose your grip on the phone. It dropped on the cement with a loud crack. Tears welled up in your eyes as you bent down to pick up your phone. There was a huge crack right down the middle of the screen.

“You cracked my phone,” you said, trying to keep your composure.

“So? It’s not like it’s worth much anyways. Just ask your boyfriend to buy you one.” Hyunjin’s evil eyes squinted down at you.

“Why are you still on about this? Hyunjin, I’ve never used anybody for money and I never will!” You couldn’t control the tears flowing down your face. “Plus, I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I broke up with Jisung today.”

You didn’t know why you were spilling your guts to the last man in the world you would trust. Surely, it was the alcohol.

“Y/n.” His tone had completely changed. He almost looked — concerned?

“Whatever, Hyunjin,” you slurred. “Just leave me alone. You can go back to that girl and have your fun with her.”

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t care.”

“Y/n, why do you care?” His tone got louder.

“I don’t!” you yelled at him. Your tears made everything even more blurry.

“Y/n! Tell me, why do you care?!” He spat back at you with just as much fury.

“Fuck you, Hyunjin. News flash, not everything in the world revolves around you and your rich and prestigious life. Maybe you wouldn’t be so toxic if you would just understand that.” You screamed at him through your sobs. “Also, I don’t know where you got this stupid story of my being a cash whore from, but I will say this one last time: I have worked for everything in my life and I have never and will never use anybody for their money.”

Hyunjin looked back at you, shocked. You stared back at him in disgust. Not wanting to waste anymore time on him, you stumbled down the street to look for a taxi. However, as you wobbled down the pavement, everything became even blurrier than before. You felt nauseous. You couldn’t control it anymore.

You threw up. All over the sidewalk. You couldn’t stop. Every time you thought that it was over, more and more came out. Your throat burned, and it wasn’t just the alcohol.

As you hurled out all the remains of today’s lunch, your hair was held back.

“Get away from me, Hyunjin,” you groaned. You didn’t want him to see you this weak.

“Who else is gonna take care of your drunk ass, idiot,” he mumbled.

That was the last thing you heard before everything went black.

-

It was a blinding white light that woke you up. You groaned, trying to block the light with your forearm. Cracking your neck, you tried to holster yourself up.

You were on a leather couch. Squinting, you surveyed the room you were in. It was clean, spacious. The floor was a white marble — there wasn’t a single speck of dust to be seen. Across from you was an incredibly wide TV with many game consoles scattered around it. You looked behind you. There was a large kitchen island illuminated by warm pendant lights. Sitting at the island, on his laptop, was Hyunjin.

“Wh-what happened to me?”

“You’re the worst fucking drinker I’ve ever seen, that’s what happened.”

You rolled your eyes.

Hyunjin ignored you, standing up and leaving for another room. Less than a minute later, he reappeared with a toothbrush and a roll of toothpaste.

“Go clean up. You look disgusting.”

You snatched the toothbrush from his hands. He pointed over to the bathroom and you trudged your way over. His bathroom was huge, almost bigger than your bedroom at home. You felt as if you were in a hotel.

“Your bathroom is huge.” After washing up, you felt not only cleaner, but more awake. “You’re really living the life with your family’s money, huh.”

Hyunjin sighed, slamming his laptop shut causing you to flinch. “Why, after everything, do you think I’m this rich, pretentious fuck?”

You rolled your eyes. Not this again. “Well, why do you still think I’m this money hungry monster?”

“You really wanna know why, Y/n? It’s because Jisung told me so. He was the one who told me that all those years ago.”

You were shocked. Jisung was the one who told him that? Your ex-boyfriend that you had loved and dated for almost three years? You didn’t want to believe it, you really didn’t, but there was this tiny whisper in the back of your mind telling you that it was true. He had a reason to — Jisung was always going on about how Hyunjin always took from him.

“But Y/n, I-” He stopped mid-sentence.

“You what, Hyunjin?”

He pressed his lips to yours, caressing the back of your head. You were shocked, but almost autonomously, your lips parted feeling the heat of his breath against yours. He pressed his body to yours, running his hand down your waist. His lips, the same lips responsible for his perfect smile, felt so soft against your own. You heard the thuds of his heartbeat as he held you closer.

You broke apart, gasping for breath. The realization of what you had done just hit you.

In a panic, you used your whole strength to push his body away from you. “I-I have to go.”

“Y/n, wait!” Hyunjin called.

You paid him no attention. Instead, you ran across the marble floors, hoisted the front door open, and sprinted out. Hoping that Hyunjin wasn’t following you, found your way outside and took a taxi home.

You sat in silence, trying to process what had just happened. You had just kissed Hyunjin. You had just kissed Hyunjin. Hands shaking, you grasped at the ends of your hair, trying to calm yourself down. Did that just happen?

You were more mad at yourself than at him. How could you have just kissed Hyunjin? You hated him. He was nothing but rude to you, never smiling and always accusing you of things that were clearly lies. He made you feel self conscious, nervous, and everything in between. You hated him.

But he was so sweet on that fateful day in high school. He gave you a new pair of shoes when you had slipped during practice, and he held your hair for you when you were drunk. His hair glistened in the sunlight, his smile made your heart race, and his lips ignited sparks of every colour in the rainbow in your chest.

You hated Hwang Hyunjin. You hated how fast you became infatuated with him on that day in high school, and no matter how much you tried to deny it, you hated that your feelings haven’t changed ever since. You hated Hwang Hyunjin. You hated that you loved him.

Curling up in your bed, there was no stopping the tears flowing down your face. You cried and cried upon this realization, and you remained this way for the rest of the day. The effect Hyunjin had on you was bigger than you ever expected, and you hated it.

-

At school, you tried to avoid as many people as possible. The kiss you had shared with Hyunjin was plaguing your mind, distracting you and igniting the fire that was your inner turmoil. Even the thought of Hyunjin put a strain in your heart. It was the way his breath fanned over your nose, gently tickling it like a bird’s feather and the soft silk of his blonde locks brushing up against your cheeks.

You shook your head, trying to erase any and every thought of that man. Walking to your locker, you were stopped in your tracks, the dam in your eyes starting to crack. You couldn’t do this today. You turned around to go somewhere else — anywhere else.

“Y/n, wait.”

You sniffed, wiped stray tears from your eyes, and picked up your pace.

“Y/n.” He grabbed your shoulder, turning you around to face him.

“Hyunjin, please, I can’t do this today.”

“Are you… Are you crying?” He touched your face, wiping your tears with his thumb. “Y/n, why are you crying?”

You shook your head. You were scared of what would happen if you opened your stupid mouth.

“Y/n, please.” Hyunjin begged. His voice was shaking. “Tell me why.”

You shook your head again.

“Y/n, please.” His voice cracked.

“Hyunjin,” you paused, taking a shaky breath, “it’s because I love you. I’ve loved you ever since the first moment you smiled at my pathetic ass. Even when you hurt me more than anyone has hurt me before… I never had a choice, Hyunjin. It’s always been you.”

You tore yourself away from Hyunjin, embarrassed to your core. That was the most humiliating thing you’ve ever done, but at least you had closure now.

“Y/n…”

“No, Hyunjin. You’ve torn me down and humiliated me enough already. What more could you possibly want?” You demanded, aware that everybody around you was staring.

“Y/n,” Hyunjin rasped, “It’s only ever been you. I’ve spent the last three years miserable knowing that you were with someone else. I’ve-I’ve never even been with another girl in the past three years. I know you have no reason to believe me because I was such an ass. I am such an ass. Y/n, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for projecting my insecurities on you, I’m sorry for accusing you of things I know you’ve never done, and I’m sorry for anything else I might have fucking done. Y/n, I love you. Please, I don’t fucking deserve it, but is there any way you could forgive me?”

You stared at Hyunjin’s bloodshot eyes, tears freely flowing down your cheeks, and before you could even think, you found yourself pressed against his lips. Your eyes closed, savouring the feeling of his soft lips touching your own. His wet cheek pressed against your own, and with a nudge of the nose, Hyunjin deepend the kiss with a raw passion in which you’ve never felt before.

You cradled his head, relishing in his silken blonde hair as you brushed your fingers through his locks. He sighed in response, his breath tickling against your cheek. You were fully aware that everyone on campus had seen both your messy confessions of love, but you didn’t care. All you could do was replay the moment that Hyunjin had said those words — those three tiny words — over and over in your head as you ran your fingers through his hair and kissed his soft, honey lips.

[elousie]

busmates.

a seungkwan fanific......

wc: 1k ish genre: romance,drama,comedy(i'll try)

chapter-1 11th grade. the most special year of my entire life.

I was a typical extroverted teenager. Actually, to be accurate I was an ambivert, and for those who don't know what that means, well it's "a person who has a balance of extrovert and introvert features in their personality" according to google. I basically change personalities from person to person. I usually call myself an extrovert though because the extroverted percentage on mbti test was 15% higher skfjsgdjsk.

Anyways i transferred to a new school this year, so i obviously had to make some friends. And making friends in my class wasn't really hard, as a matter of fact i had actually made a small friend group within a week. It was so exciting.

I was actually really talkative ever since but for some reason, i never said a word in the school bus. I had one friend there who was my classmate and let me tell you she was REALLY popular in the bus. I mean she had been travelling through the school bus for like 9 years now ?

Well, we became friends because we were classmates and she was overall really nice. Yujin. Her name was Yujin. How cute!?

So, if anyone has ever experienced traveling in a school bus you will know that there is this unsaid rule that the oldest people sit at the last seat. Well, i was one of the oldest but i was too reserved (in the bus) to actually go and sit there. Yujin and her friend along with 3 other seniors used to sit there. It was like their permanent seat. So i never really got a chance to sit there. And honestly back then I never really gave a fuck about any of my bus mates so neither was i friends with anyone nor did i know anyone.

FAST FORWARD 2 WEEKS

I was the first one to board the bus along with Yujin and she asked me to sit on the last seat with her and her friend Minyoung. I just stood there numb and said "Wouldn't that be so awkward? Don't the seniors sit here? I mean I don't mind sitting here but I don't want to fight with anyone because of a stupid seat and that also on my third week."

Yujin slightly chuckled and assured me that all the seniors were really nice which didn't really calm me down but I did end up sitting there anyway. A few minutes later other students started coming in and then the seniors.

As I mentioned before there were 3 seniors. Two of the same sat beside me and then came in the one whose seat I was sitting on. It was getting so awkward...so many things were happening at once. Ughhhhh.

Firstly, the last seat is mostly a five-seater and I was sitting in the exact center jdjsjsjdiwksjk. second, people were literally fighting over the seat beside me because someone threw someone's bag and just stupid stuff. and third, that senior stared at me for like 10 seconds. I wanted to die. I genuinely thought he was gonna pick a fight with me but that guy just looked at me and sat down on the second last seat???  bro????? on one hand i was relieved that there were no fights but on the second hand it was so weird sitting there. Also that motherfucker was the prettiest human being alive. I didn't even know his name or anything about him but he was hella attractive.

I was really awkward on the way back home and so to avoid the awkwardness I started reading a novel which I carry every day to avoid situations like these. To my luck, I have the third stop so I got off quickly and after that day I just promised myself not to sit there because it just didn't feel right. 

Eventually, after a few days, I got the second last seat as my permanent reserved seat lmao. That was the time I actually started noticing my bus mates.  I got to know the names of all the three seniors including the attractive one. His name was Seungkwan. The other seniors were Chan and Jeonghan. All of them seemed like really good friends. Chan and Jeonghan seemed very quiet though but Seungkwan on the other hand. oh my gosh. He was so talkative. He used to joke around a lot with the 7th and 8th graders. It was so cute. I could often hear them making sex jokes which were honestly kinda funny. He was also so fucking tall. oh lord. Back in my class, Yujin and I were paired up to do a French project together. So during the free period, both of us were busy completing the same when someone walked in to call out some of classmates for a football match. And there he was again, the hot senior. He looked so hot at that moment. I literally just blankly stared at him for a solid 30 seconds when I snapped back to reality because of Yujin screaming at me for almost knocking down the entire bottle of glue. Being this pretty should be illegal honestly. I literally couldn't think of anything else from the moment he left. I wanted to talk to him so bad. I just wanted to interact with him. Remember how I mentioned how I changed personalities from person to person. Let me tell you he was one of the few people I was really introverted too. ================================================================================================

hi ????? so this is my first post. I don't really know how tumblr works so please don't come @ me lmao. Also English is not my first language so if there is anything you'd like to correct feel free to comment or dm <3

[jiminrings]

yoongi grills stem koo’s ass <3

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

stem koo wants to explain himself and yoongi may not want to listen

"hyeji's never packed you a sandwich before?"

jungkook pales at the mention, mouth drying when he sees yoongi bring up the soft smile that doesn't comfort him at all

“the one that’s all knuckle?”

oh my god

IS THIS A RIDDLE????

yoongi tilts his head in amusement when this pathetic excuse for your past crush is calculating what he just said in his mind

what is a sandwich that’s all knuckle?? but it doesn’t even rhyme!!

aren’t riddles sUPPOSED to rhyme????

jungkook’s more than well-versed in stem-related problems that are just rephrased 237 times over and over so that it wouldn’t be as easy to solve

he can solve that!!!

but this!!! :O his mind is short-circuiting pls do not approach him

“hm?” yoongi’s smile patronizes him further and puts him on the spot, straightening his figure and jungkook’s quick to stop him from coming back inside your dorm

“i want to-“

“i asked you — have you ever had a knuckle sandwich?”

yoongi enunciates with so much clarity that kook finds his mind blanking, tripping over his words he hasn’t even formed yet

“i-is it-...” he stalls, trying to rack his mind for the bread he’s not sure he’s ever even heard of in his life, “i-is it like, a pork thing? uhm, t-the pig’s knuckle? and then you put it between, uhm, bread?”

,,,, laughable

jungkook’s supposed to be smart, isn’t he? or atleast that’s what yoongi thinks he’s supposed to be

lmao he would’ve laughed at the boy’s poor attempts if only he wasn’t furious at him

he’s dumb but not the endearing kind ://

“no,” yoongi drawls out, pretending to fish something out from his pocket

jungkook watches in intrigue, thinking that yoongi’s reaching for his phone to show him a picture of what it looks like

the hypothetical situation in jungkook’s mind is clearly not the one that happens

jungkook SHRIEKS as he stumbles on his heels backward — crystal clear to him that yoongi was not looking for his phone, but instead balling his fist and him being the receiving end

almost the receiving end

yoongi almost sucker-punches jungkook in a blink, fist literally a millimeter away from his nose and the only thing he could see at the moment is red

... red and jungkook’s wide eyes that have never carried this much fear up until now

“that’s a knuckle sandwich, kid. would’ve fed it to you if only y/n isn’t in the room right behind me.”

holy fuck

his heart is beating right against his ribcage and that shouldn’t be possible, fists closing upon themselves nervously as he tries to soothe his thumb so his mind relaxes

spoiler alert: it doesn’t work

jungkook’s mind is all over the place, even more rattled than it was when he takes a text without studying (he was so low he got a 98), but the only thing that’s clear is that you’re behind this door

“yoongi — mister yoongi, please. i-i need to explain myself, and if only you let me try, i can!! i swear. i’m not forcing you but-...”

there he is again

jungkook’s only been in his sight for like two minutes but his eyes are already sore

“why are you even here?” he scowls and even if the younger boy’s taller than him, every bit of his posture and demeanor at the bite of his words scream small, “why go all this length for someone you stomped on today, then have the gall to be a crybaby about it?”

he's speechless and it only serves him right, looking at his mudded-up converse and trying to focus on anything besides the guilt within

"m-my explanation," jungkook mutters, hands behind his back as if he's being scolded, “will you tell y/n?”

yoongi releases an agitated breath at him muttering your name

he dOESN'T get to say your name!! no!!! not after what he did to you

“i’m not concerned about you. what i decide to do or not, has nothing to do with whatever you say right now.”

kook solemnly nods, and even if yoongi's much harsher in your words compared to yours, the gravity of yours with him not being related to you cuts deeper

there's nothing else he could care about, actually

jungkook follows campus curfews to a T and would come home two hours earlier in the rare event that he goes somewhere

but now, he couldn't care less when the dorm master could just be there any second and he'd pass a hall monitor like usual

for the whole day, you were the only one that occupied his mind

"i know hyeji isn’t the one."

god, it was clear as day

he'll be the first one to admit that he can't read people very well, but he knew from the start that it's probably not hyeji who's been packing his lunchboxes

jungkook sometimes takes attendance in behalf of the professor because as much as he's shy, he's also a teacher's pet

the classes she shared with hyeji? she wasn't present everyday for the whole duration of two weeks, and how could it be that she still managed to make him a lunchbox if she wasn't present in the campus at all?

there was a probability that it could've been her, but it was so low that it sat right next to improbable

"i-i entertained the possibility briefly that she was, but then nothing was making sense the more i thought about it."

jungkook sometimes also checks papers because his professors trust him enough and he has perfect scores anyway, so he uses his own as his answer key

"i needed to interview y/n for an assignment, a-and a signature above a name was needed and it was just so familiar."

the moment he racks his head for hyeji's writing, it seemed fAR from the writing on the sticky notes on the lunchboxes

"then she seemed mad at me, but when i went to her on the field to try and confront her-" jungkook pauses and almost whispers the next part, the shame on his skin starting to seep into his bones, "she told me that we weren't related for me to feel hurt about it."

yoongi clenches his jaw, a pressure forming on the center of his eyebrows because he knows where this is leading

"a-and i thought it was hyeji again."

jungkook can't bring himself to be elated that it's been you the whole time because he might be a little too late; a little too late when he's already subjected you to the heartbreak you didn't deserve

"i-i didn’t know what clicked in my mind but i was just so hurt that-"

that's the fiNAL straw for yoongi

this has been him trying to keep his anger at bay the whole time, but this one!! this one he can't just accept

"you are a fucking asshole. honestly."

jungkook slightly winces with the sudden cussing, but it barely scratches the surface

"you think you’re the only one hurt? tell that to me who’s never seen y/n cry so hard before — or even cry at all."

his explanation wasn't an excuse and he knows it, but nonetheless, it tears him apart

"i’m sorry."

his lips quiver and he's trying sO hard not to cry in front of his senior, but yoongi doesn't feel even the slightest remorse for the kid

"i don’t care. you don’t apologize to me; you apologize to y/n. whether she forgives you or not, which for the record i don’t think she should, you cannot take back what you said."

if what jungkook said was eVER said to yoongi, given that he had the same circumstances as you did, he wouldn't know how to bounce back at all

it's a pain he doesn't wish to feel and he could only helplessly look at you who's trying to navigate it

perhaps you don't even plan to navigate it — knowing you, you're just gonna sail through it all to the point you're not giving yourself enough time to even realize that you already are

it was the same cycle of trying to move on without grieving through it properly that it hurts yoongi and seokjin and the tiny amount of people around you

"grovel at her feet. cry her an ocean. commit penitence. whatever you wanna come up with, no matter what, you do not make my y/n feel like she isn’t deserving of love."

you're family and yoongi goes above and beyond for family.

"i don’t care if you make up. i don’t care if you don’t. all i know is that in any other place besides outside the room she sleeps in, i’d hurt you like you hurt her."

jungkook almost wishes that yoongi punches him now and he won't even try to dodge it

"i deserve it."

"you do."

they whole-heartedly agree and it's the only time that yoongi can get behind jungkook's words

"i’m always gonna be on y/n’s side, kid."

there's no other way around it and as much as you know it or not, you've cemented your position in yoongi's heart unknowingly

"the only way that i’m gonna be on yours is when you’ve earned my utmost respect," he can't even see when that happens, crossing his arms across his chest, "and you don’t."

jungkook's tears are falling to the floor but they don't get on his cheeks, the sudden set of footsteps coming from his side making his head straighten and wipe his eyes immediately

he's the only one alarmed and he spares yoongi a glance, then to said person

yeah right that couldn't have been you :((

the guy who's approaching doesn't stop walking and he looks like.... he's uh,,, coming to where he's exactly standing????

he seems oddly familiar though

“oh, taehyung!"

where did he hear that name before??

taehyung stands at the same height as jungkook, maybe a centimeter or two taller, but he just couldn't stop looking at him from the corner of his eyes

yoongi's oblivious to jungkook's ongoing deduction, immediately engulfing taehyung in conversation

"y/n’s already asleep. i could do her part of the project-“

he offers because he recalls that right, you told him that taehyung's coming over to finish your shared project of a business plan late tonight

uhhhhh you're kinda zooted and going through it rOUGH so yoongi doesn't mind doing your contribution for you

“yoongi!! oh no man, it’s not what i came here for," he leans for a side hug, eyes landing on jungkook to drop a polite smile to acknowledge him

jungkook only slightly bows, confused but even more intrigued because he heard your name in the conversation

"i just uh, i just saw y/n crying while i was on my way home awhile ago, and i didn’t get to ask why, but i felt bad, so i came by to drop some cookies.”

oh

taehyung continues talking and it leaves yoongi and jungkook stunned, but he only focuses his attention on the former

“you looked like a hazelnut cookie kind of guy, so i baked some too!! is y/n allergic to peanuts? i put some too in a separate container in case she is.”

yoongi laughs and they go from there

IT'S LIKE JUNGKOOK ISN'T EVEN HERE!!!!

baby he's here he's nOT a hallucination!!!!

despite the fact that he's sticking out like and (unacknowledged) sore thumb, no one makes a move to take the conversation elsewhere

“thanks, tae. damn, you did all this yourself?”

yoongi whistles when he takes the tupperware opening it and almost watering at the sight

he doesn't mind baking cookies for you in case you wake up hungry, but taehyung really just did himself a nice favor without knowing it

he smiles softly, eyes narrowing in intrigue now that he realizes

"taehyung. no offense, but you’ve only interacted with y/n like once and it’s only for a project. why would you bake her uhhh 28 cookies?”

hehe

“35, actually :D”

tae interjects, waving him off when yoongi's jaw drops even further

“yeah, i know. i just felt so sorry for her — i’m not related to y/n but i just felt like i wanted to make her feel better.”

jungkook's jaw locks at this, his breathing becoming shaky all over again, fists balled this time

“it’s like,, economics!! i don’t actually know, maybe??? i’m in visual arts. y/n took over my part for me when i was sick-“

".... so you made her 30 cookies."

taehyung's the personification of a golden retriever and now that he thinks about it, jungkook reckons seeing him more than a handful of times

he laughs deeply at yoongi's rebutt and it may be in unfortunate timing that jungkook realizes he kNOWS him

he's in the same year!! he's the one that takes the portraits for the school paper and it's always his name in the credits

"good night, yoongs. hug y/n for me. tell her i'll take over her part, no questions asked."

taehyung walks away and he's perfectly content even if he didn't get to give you the cookies like jungkook thought he would

"night, taehyung."

yoongi looks at the retreating figure briefly, then looks at jungkook pointedly

he doesn't realize that he's still budging and listened on an entire conversation, dropping his head when yoongi points to the elevator

"bye, jungkook."

"good night, yoongi."

he feels hesitant to leave but it's probably for the better, putting his hands in his pockets still not enough to make his hands stop trembling

kook stops at the middle of his walking, turning his head to look back at yoongi whose mouth already has crumbs

"c-can i see y/n tomorrow?"

"i'm not her dad."

jungkook nods somberly, leaving it at that while his bulk of emotions consume him

he thinks all about the ways he could attempt to make it up to you, a million ideas in his head but his head doesn't hurt

his nose twitches at the lingering scent the cookies left, annoyed at the persistent smell and perhaps the boy that brought them

jungkook's never really liked cookies.

[4dtk]

pas de deux — gojo satoru

pas de deux [pa•de•de] (french, literally “step of two”), a dance duet. 

summary: striving to become a principal dancer, you’re unaware of the curious blue eyes from across the studio, only knowing of his reputation from rumours. when you have to shadow your seniors to learn a principal role and meet the infamous gojo satoru, what happens then?

word count: 11k lmfao

genre: a bit of angst, mostly fluff

a/n: gojo brainrot done. sorry this took so long lol i’m not used to writing long fics but i’m glad i did bc this is acts also as a place for me to dump my passion of ballet aha :”)

playlist here! most of them are classical pieces and a bit of ballet class music, i hope you don’t mind uwu. personally, i’d recommend watching (before or after the fic doesn’t matter hahah) the crazy talented marianela nuñez and vadim muntagirov in the pas de deux that i reference a lot in this fic. they’re my absolute favourite! (´･ᴗ･ ` )

tags: @fiona782​

it was unconventional to see a ballerino don white hair during rehearsals, let alone in a company; the familiar head of white whizzes through the studio like an angel of the night, with graceful moves and powerful jumps to match those of a faerie's seamless manoeuvers through her flowers.

that was only expected out of a principal anyway.

gojo satoru, a principal dancer of the six eyes theatre. they were part of the three prominent companies that carried the ballet world and industry. behind all the glimmer and glitz lay hours of endless rehearsals and worn-out pointe shoes, as well as smiles behind kitri's fans or even the emotional miming from giselle.

he was untouchable, a leading face that carried the ballets he starred in with immense skill and an aura admired by everyone. anyone lucky to score a pas de deux with him would be torn between a world of conflict. those soft eyes that looked down at you with love were solely meant to portray siegfried's ardour for odette and nothing else.

you sigh, eyeing the confident man giving his all in the company class, no doubt hyping himself up for tonight's last show. you couldn't fall behind, either, knowing your performance was monitored way more now that you were considered amongst the directors to be promoted to principal.

"next group, pay attention, loves!" the teacher for the morning caught your attention, letting the chattering group in front head out first before the next group of dancers took their turn. 

dancing was all you could remember, taking up most of your life even when you were a kid. through competitions and gruelling schedules, you managed to land in the six eyes theatre. sure, it wasn't as popular as the zen'in company or the kamo national ballet but, it still held up a wicked reputation, partially thanks to gojo satoru. 

your feet naturally hail your command, placing it behind the other in a curtsey to thank the instructor for the morning class as you stretch your feet in some simple pointe repertoire. 

"nervous about your posting, (y/n)?" nobara asks, rolling the arch of her feet back and forth with a tennis ball.

you shrugged, "in a way, yeah. i'm getting observed on mainly every move that i make."

the smile your best friend gives you calms you down, at least. megumi chipped in, "hey, you'll become one of the best principals around, i know it."

"yeah! and we'll go to your shows, no matter wha... oh, right, we're first soloists," itadori trails off. 

you laugh, settling down to wipe the sweat from your brow. however, there's an uncharacteristic silence when you start to remove your pointe shoes.

"what if i do become principal? i'll miss you guys like hell." you mutter, rubbing off the skin peeling from your toes. removing the tape and toepads, you sigh again even after nobara lands a hand on your arm.

"stop sighing, you idiot, the company's small. sure, you'll have extended rehearsals, and i will now have to deal with yuji's noisy ass, but i doubt we're going to be separated like oil and water." 

you roll your eyes, chuckling a little through glossy eyes, "true. it's just that we've always been together, through the competitions where we met and going up the ranks. hell, i wouldn't even imagine all of us becoming first soloists when we entered six eyes."

megumi raises an eyebrow, "are you underestimating us?" 

putting your fingers together, you offer a sheepish smile, "just a little."

"and now you're going to become a principal, (y/n). we all know you put yourself to crazy standards that you always reach, maybe even higher than that. you're going to kill it as a principal, i'm sure."

thankful to nobara for the little speech, you pat her arm gently, easing into a stretch to prevent any tensing up later in an afternoon class. 

"(y/n), they're coming over, look sharp," itadori notifies you, turning to the barre to do his own stretching as your friends busy themselves with their phones.

you take another curtsey at your instructor, along with the director of six eyes, masamichi yaga.

why... was he here now?

"(y/n), love, we'll need to talk to you about something. would you mind coming to the office later on? just before the company's afternoon class at 2 would be good."

you were at a loss for words.

was i already raised to principal? no... they wouldn't promote someone who's only danced her first soloist role a couple of times. were they going to remove me for consideration? maybe they found a better dancer to monitor?

"it's nothing terrible, (y/n), i promise." with a smile, masamichi walks away, not before patting your shoulder for reassurance.

the next few hours go by in a flash: eating lunch, lazing around in the studio, filming some tiktoks and then getting ready for another class took up most of your time that you didn't get to ponder over the office visit.

so you were definitely surprised to see gojo satoru himself, a shit-eating grin on his face once he hears you enter. he lays back on both arms to welcome the first soloist, you. 

you curtseyed again to ms ieiri and masamichi. before you got to gojo, however, he held a hand up before standing up himself to bow. you let out a small smile as the familiar step led you to curtsey on the other foot.

it left a weird feeling in your bones to greet a principal dancer, but you two weren't all that close, anyway. plus, curtseying was basic courtesy in the company, where actions spoke louder than a "good morning" or a "thank you".

"nice to see you, (y/n). miss nitta, as you know," masamichi gestured to your teacher and then to the white-haired man, whose beauty never fails to amaze you, as cliche as it sounds, "and gojo satoru." 

"nice to finally talk to you, miss (y/n)," he nods his head, wearing an attractive smile that had you sucking in a breath. you could only manage a smile at the moment, brought back to reality when masamichi's firm voice resonates in the office.

"you've done a tremendous job these past few months, love. we've been watching your roles this season, hopping from one position to the other with no problem at all. i'm sure you were informed that you were being considered to be principal..." you leaned forward in anticipation, "...although you'd have to let your skill shine through more before we promote you to principal any time soon."

bummer, but it's nothing you can't handle.

"we do have something to ask of you, however. your potential is clearly set in the right place, and your talent and determination are not lost. we want you to shadow and learn the repertoire of shoko ieiri and gojo satoru while they rehearse for the next season's premiere."

nevermind, it might actually be something you can't handle.

"me?"

masamichi only lets out a knowing smile. "are you up for the challenge, (y/n)? you'll get to learn and watch how principals rehearse, act and mime out the story in the hands of ballet masters and mistresses like kiyotaka ijichi and mei mei and even tengen hoshi." 

your fingers dug into your thigh at the well-known names, always seeing them in the corridors but never knew how they taught or conducted rehearsals. this was your chance.

"of course, director masamichi. i'd be honoured to observe and shadow the company's principal dancers, let alone miss shoko ieiri and mr gojo satoru here. their chemistry onstage is honestly unmatched!"

okay, shut up, (y/n). you're laying your fangirling thoughts on the actual director of six eyes theatre. a simple yes would've sufficed.

"great! you start tomorrow. skip the afternoon class and come straight to the studio on the ground floor. we'll be expecting you."

you couldn't help the grin that appears on your face this time, passing a bow to everyone in the room before curtseying and almost exclaiming a "thank you!"

once you're out of the professional eye, you have a little celebratory dance outside the office, immediately fishing out your phone to text the trio. 

"a...ah! gojo senpai!" you take a step back in instinct, the tall principal looming over you with nothing but an intimidating air around him.

however, nothing screams intimidating on his face, as he shoots you a polite smile and a hand to get introductions out of the way.

all you can think about is his large hand enveloping yours while he tells you his name. you're stuck in a trance, locked on his eyes cut off by the black of his sunglasses. 

how would those hands feel on my hips when he's lifting me? or maybe we'd engage in a kiss in romeo and juliet...? are we doing r&j for the next season's shows?

fuck.

"uh- yes, nice to meet you too, senpai! i-"

"call me gojo, (y/n)."

you're at a loss for words, the man knowing he's left you speechless with the way he's smirking off into the other direction. you manage to get the prodigy out of your head, willing yourself to get to the company class as soon as possible. since your distraction was gone and the air cleared of any tension, you were able to hear the voices in the office.

"are you sure about this, nitta? we can't have any more dancers off their game just because they were enamoured with satoru to the point of confessing their love to him. every time we get first soloists and principals to pair with him, something always comes up."

"i'm sure, director. (y/n)'s mettle and focus on her roles are strong, and her skills are off the charts. if anything happens, we'll just pair her with another principal, like kento or something." masamichi sounded unconvinced, grunting as their footsteps increased in volume.

company class! company class!

you slipped into the studio just in time to avoid nitta and masamichi, carrying your things as you looked for the trio.

"(y/n)!" yuji catches your attention, although a little too loudly for your liking. you were left to greet the other dancers on the way to their corner, dumping your bag with much more exasperation than you expected.

"what's wrong?" megumi asks, doing some plies at the bar to warm up his feet and muscles.

"i think i should text y'all instead. let's wait for after the show tonight."

you get three nods from the trio in reply, dropping into some simple stretches as the next instructor takes over. at least gojo wasn't here...

・．━━━━━━━━━━．・

the applause was deafening as you take your bow, thanking the audiences from the balcony and stalls as you gestured to your pas de deux partner, megumi. putting your hand in front of your heart was a big thing to do, giving thanks to one of your best friends and partners for a fun pair such as bluebird and princess florine. 

as you walked back to join the other dancers, the principal roles were taking their bows with no doubt roars and cheers from the audience from yet another electrifying performance from the golden pair as princess aurora and prince florimund: gojo and ieiri. 

as ieiri led the conductor on stage, he was the last to thank the audience, bringing the heart of the ballet to life with the score of tchaikovsky's sleeping beauty. 

with one last bow, the curtain closes, leaving you to let loose from the rigid position you were used to. 

"we're done!" you laugh, hugging megumi as nobara and itadori squeeze their way through the many dancers on stage. the two convey their compliments, prompting you to nudge the two on their puss-in-boots and white cat roles. the two then freeze up, staring at something that was approaching from behind.

"miss (y/n)-" gojo bows, interrupted by ieiri as she crashes into you with a hug.

"oh man, (y/n) you were great out there!" you grin, embracing her as tight as she did. 

"thank you, senpai," you were practically beaming, thankful she still remembered you after being promoted to principal years ago. it was hard to communicate and talk when she had so much going on, a natural dancer who rose up the ranks fast with her hard work. 

ieiri formed herself up into a refined dancer that you wouldn't think she was the young girl at your studio trying on pointe shoes for the first time years ago when you were a kid.

that was if you didn't know her personally, of course. 

"here, first position, just like that!" the curious girl interacted with the kids outside a smaller studio, teaching them the various positions that at least a grade two or three class would use.

she picked up pointe work fast, obviously guided by the mentors at the school with nights of rehearsal and decision making whether she wanted to pursue this professionally.

"oh shush, you, you don't have to call me senpai, see you tomorrow (y/n)!"

ieiri bids you goodbye, no doubt to talk to the choreographers and director. gojo follow suit shortly after your exchange, not before taking your hand to plant a kiss on it.

you retract almost immediately after his lips descend on your skin, the area hot from the lighting, your sweat and your feelings.

nobara tsked, "what's his deal?" you let out a shaky sigh and shrug, hooking an arm around megumi's as you went around to mingle with the dancers.

・．━━━━━━━━━━．・

[nobara is typing...]

you're to shadow gojo-senpai and shoko-senpai?! no way???!?!1/!?!?

[itadori is typing...]

no way, that's so cool! 

what was he like? was he in the office that day?

[(y/n) is typing...]

yeah, he was. not gonna lie, a bit cocky... kinda overheard that partners throw themselves at him sometimes too, which makes it a bit troublesome, lol.

and yes, kugisaki i'll need to observe them starting tomorrow. i cant come for the company class :(

[megumi is typing...]

Then what about Shoko-senpai?

you shake your head even though no one could see you, the forgotten tv series playing in the background while you text your friends instead.

[(y/n) is typing...]

she's too good for him, i think. they're long time friends too, but i'm not sure if any feelings blossomed since then tho

[nobara is typing...]

you don't like him, do you? i know you dont like guys that are full of themselves, altho that man rlly is that attractive .......

[itadori is typing...]

LMAOO whos the smitten one now

nobara sends a vibe check sticker, the one with both hands outstretched with a threatening stare into the screen. 

[nobara is typing...]

i'll kill you tomorrow, yuji itadori.

[itadori is typing...]

you'd have to reach my height first, loser

[nobara is typing...]

you- UFGGHKHH

i'll kick your shins, thats what!!!!!! 

you roll your eyes as the two of them get into another friendly banter, leaving the group chat to blow up in messages as you switch off the neglected tv. 

there's a silence that feels almost too foreign, contrasting to the fact that you enjoyed silences daily. it felt criminal, almost, to be in such a quiet space with no one to fill in the gaps.

you look to your black and white poster for some clarity, the young boy standing at 16 with a softness in his eyes and a lengthened extension that conveyed his love of ballet to you.

you never knew who was the boy, getting a poster shoved into your hands in a hurry when you and your mom bought tickets to the local ballet competition. you never questioned the poster, nor had you caught the boy in the midst of his variation either, settling for a theory that his performance had already passed the day before.

"how do you think it's going to go down tomorrow?" you mumble to no one in particular, tossing and turning in your sheets that didn't quell your worries no matter how much you thrashed.

the dreamless slumber welcomes you into its arms almost immediately, although the morning after was the opposite.

"shit, shit, shit," was your mantra, jumping from place to place in your small apartment to get the things you needed for class. you manage to catch the bus in time, heading straight to the studio with no cup of tea in your hand as usual. 

"(y/n)!" nobara grins, seeing you stumble through the door just as everyone finishes their individual warmups. the instructor greets everyone, eager to get into the class as soon as possible.

the thought of the rehearsal shook you up more than you thought it would, leaving you to let out nervous breaths that got worse by the time that class ended. 

ieiri didn't miss the way you'd wipe your hands on your tights in worry, going over the steps more than you usually would. you had a killer memory, but it seemed that today that that ability had melted away at the sight of gojo.

"wish me luck, guys," you muttered, hurriedly packing up your things before heading off yourself. the trio only could give you a small smile, knowing you had wanted time to yourself to calm your nerves.

you had always done this for the many shows you starred in: the music and positions mimicking a recording. it was as clear as day when it replayed in your head, the different orchestral parts and the dynamic changes you apply to your steps to give the best performance, for performing your best was all that mattered. the trio understood instantly, always sending you off on your memory replay with an encouraging smile.

well, almost, for you didn't even know what the rehearsal entailed or what piece they would be dancing to.

"hi," your voice appeared meek in the big studio, the only three people there slowly getting warmed up to each other. your feet carried you into a curtsey.

"ah, mei mei-sensei! miss shoko and mr gojo," you acknowledged their presence, placing your things down right where you stood.

"let's begin then, shall we? for this is a gala event, the pas de deux couple will only be performing the entree and the adagio parts. there might be the possibility you two would have to rehearse your individual variations and the coda. still, the organisers haven't gotten back to us on the duration we'll be on stage for. with the switching in and out of the different repertoire, this year should align with don quixote. before we start, i wish that everyone is honest with each other; that way, we can learn from different views."

don quixote?! you hold in your excitement at the revelation, thinking back to the fiery portrayals of kitri and lively spanish music to pair with it. your excitement was on cloud nine while by fifteen minutes, your feet and body were seemingly screaming at you to take a break.

to say it was tiring was an understatement, at the very least. you were to only shadow ieiri's parts, and the absence of a male partner proved challenging when you were the first soloist mirroring a principal and her partner.

"(y/n) should try too, of course! come, come," mei mei beckons you over from where you went over the steps, fingers fidgeting with the waistband of the sheer skirt you'd just bought a few days ago.

"i trust that you are familiar with the wedding PDD, (y/n)?" mei mei asks.

you nod eagerly, not missing the way ieiri beams at your enthusiasm. 

"good. we'll just try this part on your own. remember to keep yourself lifted and trust your partner," mei mei eyes you while gojo was already getting comfortable with a hand on your back, "would you like to try it without the music first?"

you nod cautiously. you take note of the way it burns like fire, the contact of his skin on yours. oh god, you wished you had wiped the sweat from it, although the other didn't seem to mind it due to the many partners he's worked with before.

with a quick glance, you snuck a look at the tall dancer, never much prepared for the striking blue of his eyes. however, this time, the cheeky gojo appeared to be kept under wraps, bringing forth a more solemn and nervous exterior. he did seem different and quiet, even catching the attention of mei mei-sensei and ieiri herself. they opted not to say anything.

nevertheless, the two of you narrate the lifts and steps, mixing in the counts with the french vocabulary that stuck with you throughout the years. you were surprised at how much leeway gojo had provided you, allowing you to move freely while bringing you back effortlessly for the couple work.

a smile formed on your face at the flow of your steps as the music plays seamlessly in your mind with how much you've watched different renditions of the wedding pas de deux.

"with the music now, my dears."

ieiri shoots you a thumbs-up, noticeably more tired than you, as she massages the bottom of her feet with calculated force.

the piano starts as the pas de deux passes by smoothly with minimal mishaps, save for some off balances here and there. as always, your hand tingles when it comes in contact with the principal's, willing the quick heartbeats away by thinking of his cocky smirk the other day. with the easy beginning completed, the lifts were now appearing more often.

"hold your body up during the fish dive (y/n), hold your back and position!" gojo stumbles a bit at your mistake, but for the second time around, you manage to get it, coming up from the tricky step into a beautiful arabesque. 

a hasty nod, and you're off, pulling away from gojo a tad bit quicker than how you wanted to initiate it. he's taken by surprise at your change of personality, wondering where the flustered soloist had gone to previously. with the same corrections directed at you, mei mei gives you a "good job" before bringing ieiri back in.

"we'll cap you two's pas de deux at that point before the turns. ieiri, you ready to get back into it?" she hesitantly nods, albeit more relaxed than the earlier exchange.

the music starts again, and this time, you manage to gape at the couple's artistry, weaving over and under to fit the delicate notes of minkus' score. with the many turns and tour en l'airs, it now came to the difficult part of the pas de deux: where the woman will wind their hand around the man's single finger, engaging in two turns connected only by that single contact point.

they complete it easily, leaving ieiri to then balance en pointe with one leg suspended in the air. the two repeat it again with no problem, except for the fatigue seeping through their faces at a few moments in time.

as the music reaches its climax, so does the movements with increasing pirouettes and lifts. their chests heave with exhaustion, but their smiles showed that they were satisfied with the run.

it was hard to believe that gojo and ieiri only started to rehearsed this a few weeks ago, especially since these were leading roles with a reasonably complex pas de deux to pair with. nothing seemed to faze them as they received the feedback from mei mei, nor did they have trouble correcting the lift that had gone wrong earlier or the balance that ieiri fell out of.

so this was what it meant to be a principal.

"(y/n)! any feedback that you'd like to give to the two?"

"h..huh, me? i'm not sure if it'd be helpful to-"

"nonsense, hit us, (y/n). rehearsals are always a place for feedback," ieiri grins, taking your hand to bring you closer to the three of them.

"well, i think... i'll comment on the repeated melody where you'll go from the turns into the attitude balance is where it's a bit difficult. since gojo-senpai is tall, he might've put his hand a little too high. i mean, of course, lifting up is ideal, but ieiri-senpai might have some trouble balancing because of that."

they wordlessly try it out without the music, noting how gojo places his hand at a lower height for ieiri. it might've felt foreign, but it looked a tad bit better to you, with a better centre of gravity and stability. 

"yeah! like that!" a smile dons your face, "does it feel better, senpai?"

"tons," gojo simply states, almost too eagerly as blue eyes uncharacteristically boring into yours. opposed to the quick glances he always gave you along the corridor or within classes, this one was a strange, longing one. ieiri's voice snaps you out of the spell, almost not wanting to leave his stare.

"way better, thank you (y/n)," she pats your arm before turning to the sound of mei mei's voice.

"alright, beautiful legs and extensions, but we still have a lot to work on, as well as getting (y/n) accustomed to more pas de deux and principal work. would you like to stay on (y/n)?"

you admired your own determination, but sometimes it was better to take a break. having just attempted the coda, you could already feel blisters forming due to your prolonged use of pointe shoes. with a breath, you let gojo complete his pirouettes, restraining the sigh coming from your lips at the perfect revolutions and momentum he had going.

a little more, and you were close to catching a breath, finishing off a quadruple pirouette and tour en l'air with gojo's help. with a slight stumble, you let out a startled laugh before taking your last step with a knee to the floor. with palm outstretched, the piano does a trill before ending off on a chord.

out of the corner of your eye, you spot gojo smiling down at you, a beam that doesn't come often with how much confidence he carries around the company. 

ieiri applauds first, followed by mei mei's impressed smile.

"you execute your fouettes well, (y/n)," you bow your head in thanks, brought up unconsciously with gojo's hand as it stays linked in yours. 

"thank you, mei mei-sensei. i'm just glad to have tried it out; the don Q coda is one of my favourites," you gush, "the costumes, the music is just everything."

・．━━━━━━━━━━．・

"to dance with your partner is one thing, but the connection is another. translate the story of the elation of kitri - her father finally gives his blessing for their wedding, and she's excited to the moon. basilio is marrying the girl of his dreams. know what and who you're dancing for." mei mei speaks over the music easily, giving pointers they go over the steps like always.

"i know it's just an empty stage. there's no set, no scene to show the joy all around the cast, but you still are dancing as kitri and basilio," mei mei says after, "let's try again with (y/n)."

rehearsals carried on like this, day after day. some days longer than the other, and on others, you were paired with another first soloist. however, he wasn't tasked with shadowing the couple every day, so the pas de deux was left to you to master. 

as you wipe your sweat, ieiri waves her towel in front of you, "wanna have lunch with us?"

"i don't want to intrude-" 

"it's gojo's treat," ieiri whispers, "plus he doesn't treat people often."

"is he okay with me coming alo-" she pulls on you, leaving you no choice but to pack your things hurriedly.

"(y/n)'s coming, yea?" ieiri mumbles quickly, hooking her arm around yours in a hassle as you try to keep your things from falling out of your bag.

"i'd like that." gojo says to no one, finally catching up to you two after switching off the studio lights.

"whaaaat, you're leaving so fast?" you pout, eyeing ieiri's neat tray of finished food as gojo lets her pass through in the booth.

"i'm sorry you have to stay here with this dumbass (y/n), but i have a date with the orthopaedic today," ieiri groans.

"like an actual date?" gojo jokes.

"no," she rolls her eyes, "my muscles are acting up a little lately. plus, my arch hurts more often than it usually does. it's best to just check it out, i guess. but yeah, an actual date would be nice, too."

you shrug, "eh, hard to come by when you're a busy ballet dancer in a company. bye, senpai!" you and gojo wave to her as she leaves the diner, now coming to terms with the fact that you were alone with the charming dancer, as much as you hated to admit it.

with his perfect hair and long eyelashes and the enchanting smirk he always seems to wear. not to mention the sheer strength in his leaps in contrast to the delicate grip on your waist-

"thinking about me, love? of course you are."

"what? no!" you stiffen, the blush on your cheeks immediately giving away your thoughts.

"for the record, i've thought of you, too," gojo drops a bomb, leaning over the table to plant a gentle kiss upon your cheek before leaving the booth in a hurry. 

you were thankful that he was gone, at least and thankful for the empty diner, leaving you to melt in a puddle of confusion and warmth. 

just like the first rehearsal, your cheeks feel hot, as does your body. the place where his lips touched seemed to burn a hole through, your gaping mouth failing to close even after a minute of staring into nothing.

fishing out your phone was the first thing your mind sought out from the endless thoughts in your head.

nobara, nobara, nobara... gotta find her contact..!

[nobara is typing...]

he WHAT???!??@

・．━━━━━━━━━━．・

"ieiri-senpai, what's a pas de deux to you?" you mumble after rehearsals one day, picking at the tape stuck in between your toes.

"it would have to be what mei mei said, definitely. she still says the same exact thing till today: dance and connection are two different things. and it can't go to the point where two different stories are being told by the male and female dancer. you'll need to go into pas de deux work with a mindset that you come in a pair. every correction and every emotion needs to be felt by both parties for it to reach the audiences."  

"what about you?" the question catches you by surprise, resorting to humming as you think of the answer.

"it's something along the lines of your answer and mei mei-sensei's definition. you'd have to be on the same wavelength as your partner. every extension that appears or a gentle port de bras is meant to show the character's personality. you'd also have to think of the context of the ballet, i guess," you stop yourself, looking at gojo as he finishes a tour en l'air en passe. three revolutions and you realise that a. you're staring and b. you were talking way too much.

"sorry! i'm rambling again," you splutter, going back to your original task of taking out the tape from your toes.

ieiri giggles, "no, no! ramble all you want. i love listening to my juniors talk about how much they love ballet."

"sleeping beauty, just like the show a week ago, is set in the royal court, so it's hard to show aurora's personality. she's a little playful and young, although it's hard to slip that in when the wedding pas de deux for that is so grand. and then you'll compare it to the black swan in swan lake, where it's also in a royal court, but odile's the one deceiving siegfried, so there's an opportunity to include some side-eyeing in it. i personally love zenaida's version," you trailed off, "i mean, of course, there's also-"

"then what about odette?" gojo shouts across the studio, with his hands on his hips. the white of his hair matched the pureness of odette's tutu, something you always wished to wear and dance and master when you got accepted into six eyes theatre.

"don't mind him-"

your words take precedence without effort, "with the white swan, odette has to show the struggle of her spell with the frantic miming that she has to do. 'i'm the queen of the swans, rothbart the bastard turned me into a swan' and so on and so forth. because she's a swan, she has to imitate the gentle way that swans move, along with the technical challenges of the pas de deux. she's very soft and fragile, and the violin makes it all the better in showing the shyness and fear in odette."

two pairs of eyes stare at you curiously as the male's smirk leaves you to break into a nervous laugh as you fidget with your fingers. 

"sorry, i'm talking a lot. too much. do carry on with your jumps," a small apologetic smile appears on your face, failing to note gojo's hesitation to move from his spot and his interest in the way you can talk endlessly about the art.

gojo's smirk merges into a smile even when he accomplishes the many pirouettes demanded of him. he'd want to hear it from your lips next time when you're wrapped up in each other.

・．━━━━━━━━━━．・

"don't you think he's a little bit too confident for his own good?" nobara whispers to you. with rehearsals off for a few days, you were able to see your best friends again, munching up the calories lost from the afternoon class. 

"yeah... for all we know, he might be stumbling around in rehearsals and picking up girls," megumi muttered.

you rolled your eyes, "he's... not like that, guys. he is confident in class and seems a bit cocky, but that's because he really does live up to his name."

"we might not know much, either. (y/n) has been in rehearsals with the guy. he's probably more focused when there are lesser people in the room," yuji chats through his food, gaining disgusted looks from the three of you when lettuce and chicken litter the table.

"well... don't go falling for the guy, yeah? i've beaten up too many exes in the past," megumi tsked, devouring the salad bowl in front of him.

"yeah, but i didn't ask you to, plus you'd do it anyway. didn't even have to ask," you grin, leaning back in your chair triumphantly.

"if i beat up gojo-senpai, i'll probably get jailed."

you and yuji stifle a laugh at his comment, but nobara doesn't seem impressed with the joke, instead focused more on you and your reactions. 

you weren't actually developing feelings... right?

the memory and kiss linger in your mind like a stubborn stain, not forgetting the intense stare nobara had given you before you said goodbye to the three. a vibration from your phone snaps you out of the daze, opening your chat group to answer your friends. 

[nobara is typing...]

how was rehearsal today?!???! we jsut finished class

also it's been so long since we saw u :(

[(y/n) is typing...]

so good as always is that even a question luv xx

theyre both so talented as individuals as they r in a pdd... it was rlly insightful too!

gojo-senpai kept staring at me today for some reason tho. he felt different today, a little more reserved and whatnot

[megumi is typing...]

Maybe he felt intimidated by your skill lol

"i'll take my leave first, (y/n)! i've got an errand to run. mei mei's accompanying me," ieiri grins, bringing you into a sweat-filled hug. she's used to soaked leotards, even if the grimace on your end doesn't go unnoticed by the principal.

she lets out a chuckle, "you'll get used to mixed sweat and whatnot, (y/n). see ya!"

curtseying comes easy, bidding goodbye to the principal and the ballet mistress.

you were ready to go back to the conversation on your phone, although a call of your name distracted you from the conversation.

"yes...? gojo?" you mumbled, the last name feeling foreign on your lips without the honorific at the back. you put your phone away as the studio immediately diminishes in size, seemingly putting the two of you in a tight space with nowhere to go. it certainly felt like it, with the wordless prompt of his hand.

"try the pas de deux with me," gojo proposes, pulling up a piano rendition of the score on spotify. it wasn't hard to spot the mischievous sparkle in his eye, along with the attractive grin plastered on his face.

the studio appeared calmer now that ieiri and mei mei had left, yet the conflict in your mind was loud and unwelcomed. it felt like a battle between the angel and the devil, and you were sure the devil was nobara herself, screeching at you to remind you of the shit-ton amount of conceitedness he had.

"are we allowed to? don't other people need to use the studio?" you mumble, standing up with the help of gojo nevertheless.

you're playing right into his hand, yet you took it anyway.

he waves a hand, "it's fine; you do know the pas de deux, don't you? we didn't go over it together much, but i'm sure the past rehearsals served you well."

the beginning was refined, having done it earlier with mei mei's help. it was mostly the only thing the two of you went over when mei mei was around, leaving the more complicated parts to ieiri. the fish dive comes naturally this time, imagining the glowing lights and the striking wedding tutu that kitri sports in the third act. 

there are howls of laughter at the many mishaps after that. knowing you hadn't rehearsed any of it with your partner, nor with the music before, it was only fair that accidents were to happen.

"no, no, if you let me go, i will kill you- ah! gojo!" you threaten, but it's lost in your mouth as he spins you way too many times, letting a loud shriek escape your mouth.

from a failed pirouette to a fish dive where he almost dropped you (he didn't), the laughter spilling from yours and his lips weren't common in a company class with everyone trying to dance their best.

"hey, hey, lay off the hair!" gojo quips, catching your off-balanced pirouette with a secure hand on the waist. you went along with the music, anyway, giving your exaggerated interpretation of kitri just as the music builds up. that earns a laugh from him, skillfully guiding you through even with the light banter in the room

"here it comes," he mutters to you, feeling the support of gojo's hands on yours as he pushes you off the complete the double attitude turn before hearing a loud ‘thwap!’.

"fuck, sorry! oh my god," you apologise, retracting your leg almost immediately after the collision.

"ah, shit," gojo exclaims, rubbing the side of his thigh as he brings you down gently. there's a frown on his face as you take a peek at the place you hit, the only thoughts running through your head being the articles or scandals you might be caught in.

(y/n) attempting to harm six eyes theatre's golden principal dancer? (y/n)'s downfall full of jealousy? (y/n) and the infamous gojo caught in a fight?

a giggle gets you out of the trenches, hands revealed like a finished magician's act. 

"i was kidding; that didn't hurt one bit," gojo jokes, hands naturally reaching forward to place them on your hips, "loosen up a bit, (y/n)."

"i am loose!" your mouth falls into a straight line, "shit that sounded bad, didn't it?" bursting into laughter, your head falls onto his shoulder as your hand reaches up to grasp at his forearm before recovering from the unexpected joke.

as the pas de deux fades off into nothing, only your breaths could be heard in the large studio, blending with the cold air of the air-conditioning and the hot breaths coming from your mouths. strings play softly from the phone, but all you can hear is the echo of the familiar melody as if it was being played in an auditorium. 

gojo gives you a gentle smile that you reciprocate, stuck in that annoying hypnotisation of his blue eyes and the same soft look he gives you whenever you aren't looking. 

you were looking now, though, and you'd like it even better if time stood still for you to savour this moment.

"would you like to go on a date with me (y/n)?"

there it was, the million-dollar question. it wasn't like you imagined this every night before you slept or whether he'd perform a flashy proposal to ask you out.

but even then, you thought back to the smirks he directed at every other dancer, you thought back to the conversation in masamichi's office, you thought back to nobara's advice.

"surely you're not thinking of getting wooed by gojo satoru, are you? it's dangerous, (y/n), i'm sure you know that."

"fuck, i know! but then he kisses my cheek that one time and everything feels right again. he jokes with me in rehearsals and nudges me when mei mei-sensei compliments me. he treats me to lunch and looks at me with so much passion i almost want to believe it. these past weeks of rehearsals have taught me well in dance, but i'm sure it's making my love life miserable with how much he looks at me and then goes back to flirting with the other dancers."

"i'm sorry, i can't, gojo."

you make haste with the way you're scurrying out of the studio, breaking into a jog to make sure he doesn't catch after you.

you should've said yes, right? with how much he's been building up the courage these past few weeks, careful not to let ieiri spot his sneaky glances. even the kiss on your cheek left his heart pumping long after he's left the diner. 

all that to leave him in the dust.

gojo lays in bed that day, eyes fully open as he struggles to get some rest, unaware of the similar turmoil you were going through. the dancer managed to sleep after innumerable amounts of overthinking, departing from consciousness with thoughts of you, just like he always has.

・．━━━━━━━━━━．・

there weren't any tears involved on your end, save for some of the glossy looks you've given your black and white poster as you played with your pillowcase in anxiety. 

you dreaded the next rehearsal, knowing you had to face gojo sooner or later, especially with how you reacted to his question.

"mei mei-sensei, gojo," his name was muttered instead, embarrassed with the way you rushed out of the studio the previous day. mei mei looks between the two of you, clapping her hands together to get your attention.

"ieiri pulled a nerve around her arch, which was why we've been going to the orthopaedic more often. it's a minor injury, and she's resting right now, so we'll have to work with the two of you first. we'll stop at where we always do but feel free to continue if you feel comfortable."

great. it had to be on a day where i couldn't possibly face gojo.

he says nothing at that, both you and the pianist unsure of whether you were to continue.

gojo was still in his a game, hitting every leap and lifting you without much struggle. you, not so much, as the words you said to him replayed in your head like a broken record.

you fell off your balances, you couldn't portray kitri well, you felt the weight of your body get heavier with each repeated thought of the day before. hell, even your practice tutu felt heavy. 

he sighs again for the umpteenth time as the music stops, the two of you receiving the same criticism from the previous run. mei mei tries her best to be polite, although you can tell she's losing her patience as well.

"(y/n)? what's gotten into you? i understand every dancer has their bad days, but today appears terrible with the silent treatment you two are giving each other."

you swallow at the question, taking a shaky breath before opening your mouth. you look to gojo for help, but his eyes evade yours by looking at the floor with arms crossed. his head whips toward you with your following words.

"he asked me... on a date. i rejected him, rushed out the studio," you mutter, tracing the fabric of the tutu hanging on your hips.

"you asked her out on a date?" mei mei states in disbelief, looking at the ballerino with a face full of perplexity. 

"yeah, i did, and i would do it again," the last whisper is lost to you, unable to hear because of the distance between you and him.

"wh- why? what's wrong with that?" you ask mei mei-sensei, yet again being pulled in by the sky blue of his eyes before looking to the ballet mistress.

"mei mei-"

"gojo never asks anyone out. ever. i'm sure you're the first one."

you can see gojo deflate at that at the corner of your eye, shoulders sagging forward in defeat while mei mei takes the chance to leave for you to sort things out. 

"what...?" was the only thing you could muster, eyes following your instructor as she exits the space.

"you two are dismissed for now. talk to him about it and resolve your problem," she waves a hand at you, the tension growing by the second as she's entirely out of the studio.

"gojo?" you ask cautiously, stepping up to him to pull him from the position he was in.

"you believe the rumours, the articles, don't you?" he says, completely unrelated to the situation at hand. the look he gives you was something you couldn't figure out, snatching his arm out of your grip as he puts some distance between the two of you. 

"you think i'm some cocky bitch who's just strutting around the company, free to do my own thing?" the other says it in a quiet tone, but it didn't make it less menacing than if he were to shout it. 

"do you think i enjoy the way the female dancers throw themselves at me when i'm trying to focus on my mistakes and corrections? you think i enjoy the annoying ass articles written about me?"

with each question, gojo doesn't fail to intimidate you, taking a step each time until you're cornered against the barre. those questions are left unanswered as gojo's eyes bore into yours, losing its usual spark when he glances at you during the pas de deux or when he's laughing at a joke you made over lunch.

"do you think i enjoy being talked about every. single. time?! when i'm passing in the corridors, in masamichi's office, in the company classes, among the little trio you have going on. when i asked you out, it was because i genuinely felt that i could connect to you: with no wrong assumptions or bad impressions," gojo runs a hand through his sweaty hair, the frustrated emotions he felt seeping through into his speech.

"...everything felt so fake to me while getting to know you were the only real thing i could cherish when i get to hold you during the pas de deux, or when my lips landed on your cheek. it was the only real thing that brought on your blush that i imagine your lips on mine way too much."

you chose to ignore the way your heart flutters at the confession, staring up at him with apparent conflict on your face.

"then why can't you just ignore them? i'd expect someone like you to not give a shit about what people think," you whisper.

"you got to know the wrong gojo, then. just like right now, i can't face what others have to murmur around about me."

"right now...?" you caught onto his words fast, your eyes immediately spotting the curious faces of both your friends and a few other dancers fighting for a spot to watch you two through the studio door's glass.

"c'mon, pack up, let's not talk here," gojo states. within seconds, the two of you were out the door with your hand clasped in his. you were quick on your feet to leave the premises, naturally following gojo's lead to an unknown building. 

letting go of his hand, you explore the space, taking note of every tiny little thing that made the apartment his own.

"sorry for the mess. i live alone and hardly clean the apartment." the nervousness from the studio stayed, the other opting to remain at the doorway in worry. the silence in the apartment grows, your eyes now trained to the floor as gojo suddenly speaks up.

"i couldn't ignore them, (y/n). their expectations disguised as gossip and rumours allowed me to perform properly. i was afraid of disappointment, of getting ridiculed if i were to make mistakes on stage. any slip-up was seen by the company's sponsors, critics, everyone. their eyes were always on me, and i could never let myself get eaten up by the articles." 

"the industry is filled with competition and talent. anyone can replace anyone at any given time; you'd have to have a mind of steel to not get affected by every little thing!"

his eyes meet the back of your head, the fatigue leaking through the lines of his eyes and face. as you turn around, you meet his exhausted ones, and, step by step, you approach the man.

"i can't say i have that mind of steel that i mentioned. i hardly come close to it, (y/n). i'm happy with the company, i'm content with my place, and i'm terribly in love with ballet, but... i'm so tired, really."

your expression of unsaid pity was all you could offer, bringing gojo into a hug as he wrapped his arms around you. the way he relaxed told you of the safe space you provided, while his tight, squeezing arms showed he hasn't embraced in a long time.

a minute or two passes, relishing in the now comfortable silence as the other collects himself. 

"i'm laying everything on you, fuck, i'm sorry."

you shake your head into his chest, "don't apologise, you idiot. i should be the one saying sorry for rushing off like that," pulling away, you were heartbroken to see the shine of his tears waiting to cascade down his cheeks.

"i'm sorry i ran off. i was afraid, for a different reason. my rational side always protects my heart, knowing i've had bad experiences with friends and connections. if i couldn't sustain a friendship, who was i to jump into a relationship?" you hand trails to his nape to mindlessly play with the hair there as a form of habit with your own hair.

"it was brave of you, putting yourself out so vulnerably when i only looked at the surface of what you were. i'm sure it felt like those weeks of getting to know each other meant something to you, and i threw it away in fear that you'd leave me after a few months."

"so please don't apologise, i'm sorry i ever made you feel like shit because i didn't know about the weight on your shoulders."

a smile graces your face, the hand on his nape going back to his cheek.

"and stop crying; it doesn't make your eyes look good," you whisper, wiping the tears before they fall as gojo lets out a chuckle.

"you think my eyes look good?" 

you roll your eyes, "god, who wouldn't? it's like looking at the sky and the ocean all at the same time. and when you stare at me? i always have trouble looking away from you because of how striking they are."

"are they now?" distracted from the emotional vomit earlier, he grins at your description of him. you're lucky to have your hands on his cheeks just so you can feel the effect you have on him every time you offer a compliment.

"are you done complimenting me?"

"i've only commented on your eyes, though. would you like me to continue?"

"i think you should kiss me first."

you're taken aback by gojo's boldness, a surprised expression appearing at the question. the way he looks at you beats the gazes through the mirror as he warms up and the look of interest over his bowl of miso soup. it beats the glances at you during the company classes and the short, fleeting glimpses as you move together during the pas de deux. it beats every single one that your head descends back into his chest, shy at the look of adoration he was giving you.

"can i really?" you whisper in his shirt, refusing to look up even when he pulls away from your embarrassment.

as his arms unwind themselves from your middle, he crouches down to reach your eye and bring you back from a world of uneasy firsts.

"is it your first?"

this was when gojo satoru was at his rawest, with his hands cupped around your cheeks in the slowly darkening apartment as he prepares himself to kiss you.

"it is."

gojo says nothing after that, the moment of silence feeling like forever before his lips meet yours. the sunset coming in from his windows hits at the right time, because then you'd be able to point at it and describe the colours you feel when his mouth moves against yours. you'd be able to sense your heart pumping and blood flowing more clearly than when you've just finished a demanding combination of steps when he encircles his arms around you to bring you closer.

without choreographed steps, nothing feels more fitting than a kiss full of passion that isn't in a pas de deux. ironically, it was the ones you enjoyed more, more than the kisses in romeo & juliet or in manon.

oxygen becomes scarce, then, prompting you to break away from gojo just as your heart fills up with joy, way more than you can fathom.

you crash your lips into his again, now catching him off-guard. he melts into it with no problem, a laugh spilling from his lips at your eagerness.

"i like you a lot, tons, (y/n). i don't say this often, but i like you."

"it's too early to say it's love, right? because i think i like you too, a lot, tons."

・．━━━━━━━━━━．・

you agreed to keep it under wraps for now, with you planning to leave half n' hour later to avoid suspicion. the dancer sacrificed his Z's so you could catch them instead, although you continued to lay awake in his bed watching the white-haired man get ready. 

"are you sure the floor wasn't uncomfortable? you could've just used your own bed, y'know."

he only shakes his head, "'s okay. my back was acting up, anyway. it was basically free therapy."

you laugh at that, now sitting up fully to admire gojo's physique. with how affectionate and sweet he is behind closed doors, you swore that he was a different man. he shoots you a finger gun and a wink, knowing the way he's got you wrapped around his finger.

"see you later," gojo whispers, landing a peck on you before taking off on his own. it wasn't long before you had to get up, taking in the room and its decorative spaces. he has ballet posters and photos of his friends; he even had a diffuser.

a yawn takes over you as your hands land on the shirt on you.

fuck, you didn't have anything clean to wear. gojo had provided you with a shirt and pants from his wardrobe yesterday, rejecting his briefs with a laugh. with no bra, you decided to just use a spare leotard you keep in your bag, settling for the clothes gojo had lent you the day before.

the theatre felt different when you entered, heading straight for the studio to avoid any more prying eyes from the younger dancers. 

"hey," you say, rubbing at your eyes to the trio warming up their feet.

nobara gasps, grasping at your hand immediately to pull you down onto the floor.

"are you good?" she mumbles, staring at your face for any signs of hurt or crying.

"do i need to beat him up?" megumi challenges, flexing his bicep as a joke, "i've been working out more."

"i'll go tell him off for you, (y/n)!" yuji grins, preparing to quite literally stand up to head over to the other corner of the room.

"no! i mean, yes, i'm good. please don't beat him up, and... sit down, yuji." you sigh. 

"nothing... happened, guys. i know what it looked like in the studio yesterday but there wasn't any catfights or physical fights," you pause, looking at megumi, your hands instinctively going to the pouch where you kept your shoes, "we figured out our problem and solved it, that's all."

"so why are you wearing his shirt, then?" nobara shoots without hesitation, causing you to halt your movements for a bit. beside you, you can hear yuji choking on his water. 

"i... we.. uhm," you trail off, trying to find the right words to fill in the gaps of your explanation. your eyes flit around the room before landing on gojo's, finding that his were already fixed on you.

"uh... yeah... we cleared up our differences and talked a bit," you mutter, lips breaking into a smile before you break eye contact with him. the trio stay dumbfounded at your word vomit, witnessing the exchange with the principal dancer with puzzlement. 

"oh my god, did you guys fuck?" nobara whispers.

"what? no!" you laugh, whacking her shoulder as you stood up to loosen up your feet, preparing for the class conducted by masamichi himself today.

"i'll explain everything when i get back home, okay?" you say to the three of them, stuck in a side hug with nobara as her arm stay loosely wrapped around your waist.

they can only offer you their  nods, bidding you goodbye with a slight wave.

as you enter the same rehearsal studio, there's only a single lone dancer in it, stretching over in a middle split as he scrolls on his phone mindlessly.

"hey," you call out to gojo, setting your bag of things down while you run up to him. he stands up instantly, pulling you into an embrace that shocks you with the sheer force of it.

"did you already miss me? that's fast."

he mumbles into your hair, "mhmm... shut up, please."

you laugh at that, recovering from the hug despite the other's protests.

"c'mon, i need to warm up, plus we're supposed to keep this a secret, right?"

gojo whines but lets you go anyway, but not before he plants a kiss on your hand as he lets you do your own thing. the next set of footsteps catch you in surprise, eyes widening at her presence when you run up to her in excitement.

"ieiri-senpai! are you feeling better?" you ask, peeking around at her feet, where she limped on earlier.

"yes, i am, (y/n)," she pats your head and realises your choice of clothing. you noticed her smirk, but before you could counter her question, she beats you to it, "and... i've seen that the dumbass finally made a move."

there's no denying the blush that makes its way onto your cheeks, seemingly oblivious to the stares from everyone when in reality, they were curious to know of what happened the day before.

"yeah, i guess he did," you sigh dreamily, giving off your feelings as ieiri could only smile at your situation.

mei mei enters the room with authority, making you perk up at her words as she walks to the centre of the barre with purpose.

"i trust that you've solved everything, yes? because you two have been quite the talk around the studio," mei mei states, braiding her hair into a side braid as ieiri takes a seat.

"i took her hand to get away from the crowd, sensei. if anything, i should be blamed for engaging in contact that might've given off the assumption that we were dating," gojo steps up.

"but you are dating, aren't you?" mei mei grins, putting on her shoes.

"i..." you tried to speak, but gojo interrupts you before then.

"only if she'll have me, then yes, we are."

you fight back a smile, stepping forward to catch his hand in yours. he's shaking, not at all the confident gojo satoru that you've become so accustomed to.

"yes," your single affirmation holds so much weight, looking up at him with as much joy as he did with you in the morning.

"okay, good! i've gone through enough of gojo staring at you from across the room. let's continue," mei mei casually says, "i'm sure (y/n) has heard the news, yes?"

she's quick to pull you out of your thoughts of gojo looking at you during rehearsals with the question of the news that left you texting the trio at 1am.

[nitta-sensei is typing...]

(y/n)? do you have a minute to spare?

[(y/n) is typing...]

yes sensei?

what seems to be the...

you're cut off by the abrupt phone call as gojo brushes his teeth, speaking to you, though incoherently, through the foam and lather in his mouth.

"yes, nitta-sensei? what is it?"

"i'm sorry for conveying this news over the phone, and i was too excited to wait until the next day. you might or might not like it, but... you're to replace ieiri in the gala event for now." by now, gojo had stopped brushing due to your lack in reply.

he peeks his head out of the bathroom as nitta continues, "she has to heed her orthopaedic's advice and take a break for now, but since you've been shadowing the two for a good amount of time, masamichi thinks its best you take up the role of the female part."

your jaw stays dropped even after nitta says her goodbyes, the phone lit up due to your shock. 

"(y/n)? what happened?"

"i'm going to be dancing with you, gojo," you say quietly, "i'm dancing the pas de deux with you!" 

you bow your head in acknowledgement, "yes, i have." 

ieiri sees the hesitation since now the original dancer was seated in front of you. she shoots you a double thumbs-up as motivation while mei mei briefs you on the gala like she did with the couple at the start.

it's short, and within the next moment, you're already flying through the sky with gojo's help. the steps start to become more apparent and distinct to you, letting the pianist lead the way as the lifts and pair work merge together like a seamless thread.

mei mei is firm in her teaching, knowing your weaknesses and strengths by heart with the past rehearsals that she's done. stopping the two of you before letting ieiri take over was routine, but for now, ieiri contributes with her wisdom from the chair instead. 

the rehearsal progresses slowly, opting instead to complete it bit by bit as the weeks turn into days and the days turn into hours. you had to take extra care of your feet, icing them and making sure your blisters don't distract you as rehearsals extend longer to ensure your best performance.

when you had your own commitments, your best friends had theirs, fulfilling principal or first soloist roles just for the gala. there was hardly any time for you to see the trio, but you made up with late facetime calls and online dinners with them.

even with the distance in the company class, gojo never fails to make it up to you with kisses under the moonlight as you watch video after video on don quixote, although taking a specific liking to the pairing of nuñez and muntagirov. 

・．━━━━━━━━━━．・

"you ready?" gojo lets out a nervous breath, already hearing the chatter of the gala attendees behind the curtains. beside you, other dancers are warming up for their own parts. some were doing a solo while others were doing a pas de deux like you were, but nonetheless, everyone gathered here was to share the love for ballet.

"hell no, i'm shaking," you laugh, playing with the elastic that was to go over your middle finger. a beautiful, white tutu was tailored just for you with minor tweaks from ieiri's tutu while they were in the midst of completing it. to honour and perform the role of kitri gave you immense joy and excitement, even though you were jittery at the responsibility passed on to you.

"how are you doing?" nobara asks, making you jump at the sudden voice. she lets out a giggle, "sorry."

 "i'm... very nervous. is that even a question?" you ask her, holding onto her exposed shoulder a little too tightly. she dons a breathtaking, flowy costume with puffy sleeves and intricate detail. at the same time, yuji was suited up as nobara's partner in a pair of yellow tights, completing the couple look in the comedy-filled la fille mal gardée.

"oi, hot pants, come here! my partner's here finally after taming his hair," nobara jokes, pulling yuji over. they lean into each other's sides naturally, posing with peace signs and big smiles that they were asked to convey to the audience.

"good luck out there," megumi catches your attention, awkward as can be, as he pulls you in for a hug. his pas de deux partner is smiling at you beside him, taking your hand in hers.

"your rehearsals with gojo-senpai are incredible, (y/n)-senpai! all the best for your performance later," she bows, clearly relieved at saying the things she wanted to say.

"all the best for your le corsaire, too," you grin, waving them off excitedly before joining your basilio at the hip.

"you'll do great out there, trust me," gojo places a peck on your temple, holding you close by the waist as you warm up together. there's shared laughter between the two of you, exchanging jokes to calm your nerves and keep your mind moving. with the rush hour backstage, it was imminent that the show was starting soon, the many dancers continuing their warmup without trouble.

only you seemed to be on edge, performing as the first couple of the night for a role you've always loved and adored while watching from the balcony of auditoriums.

"i will. we will." you nod, hands twined with the other's as the curtains make their way up.

"breathe. we'll nail this like we always do," gojo kisses your linked hands, staring down at you with those same eyes you fell in love with. a smile replaced what you couldn't say out loud, bumping your head into his chest as an affectionate gesture, "let's go."

among the cheers and blinding lights, you could only focus on gojo's hand on the small of your back as he led you out. with practised steps, nothing could faze you except, maybe, his dazzling smile and the gentle eyes he has on you for the whole pas de deux.

living the life of an innkeeper's daughter was what you had to portray. while your 'father' was hesitant at first, he's finally given you the blessing to marry your lover, basilio. the glimmering tutu and effortless partnership was only half the job done, and for the radiant smile you had on at the moment, you hoped at least ieiri and mei mei would be proud of the story you were telling together with gojo.

the feeling from rehearsals is amplified on stage, with the orchestra's power and the costumes, providing you with a feeling like no other. and as gojo approaches with a flawless tour en l'air, you realise that with how much work you put in behind the scenes, the result always pays off. 

as gojo has his hands on your waist, twirling you around like nothing in a quadruple pirouette, you realise that every step was made possible with the help of ieiri and mei mei and your best friends and lastly, gojo satoru.

the golden, treasured prodigy which you somehow managed to develop feelings for. the talented principal who whines when you won't refuse to give him affection and the once-cocky individual who softens just at the sight of you.

and as the music reaches the end, you want nothing more than to stay in this pas de deux with gojo satoru, in a dance of two.

you end off on an incredible note, chest heaving from the demanding technicalities of the pas de deux. nevertheless, your brain shuts out the thunderous applause, with some imparting you with their standing ovations and others who decided to scream 'bravo!' at the stage.

gojo offers a grin, bringing you close with a hand as you thank the audience with endless curtseys. bowing to your partner was next, thanking him for the interminable rehearsals and that hectic day of emotion from the studio right up to his home.

you almost practically run backstage with the adrenaline flowing through your body, the next act already on stage for the gala. 

"oh my god, oh my god!" you whisper-shout in pure glee, hugging gojo close the moment you were out of view of the audience.

"you did it."

"we did it," you reassure, pulling from the embrace to smile up at him. you could feel the dancers' eyes around you, not knowing whether they should look to you or to look away.

his voice snaps you out of your thoughts, "'s okay, let them look. i don't mind it when i'm with you."

"just to confirm, we... shouldn't kiss, right?" you mumble, but you inch closer to his lips anyway.

"no... i don't think we should," gojo grins, indulging you in the very kiss you've waited for, knowing that right now, it wasn't the stage lights, nor was it the general heat after completing a difficult pas de deux.

it's as if the world gave you rose-tinted glasses, because that was all you could recognise now as gojo pulls you from backstage with your hand tightly locked onto his. he wasn't the six eyes theatre's prized principal, he was just gojo as you run past the many costumes being hung with the click-clacking of your pointe shoes.

you could compare it, almost, to running across a field with a billowing dress behind you, but alas, you were satisfied with being his kitri. for when she and basilio have a life of marriage ahead of them, you and gojo satoru have nothing but longing glances and shared laughter over your stumbling slip-ups in the studio as you tackle one act after the next.

the pas de deux was a connection and a story, and the both of you were just starting out yours. 

[le-poor-writer]

Serve at First Sight (Kageyama Tobio x F!Reader)

"I bet I can..." Hinata mumbled and narrowed his eyes at him.

"Hah?" Kageyama glared back. "What did you just say?"

"I'm not good at setting. BUT I BET I CAN HIT THE LONGEST AND FASTEST SERVE!"

"IS THAT A CHALLENGE?"

"YOU WANNA GO NOW?"

"Uh... Kageyama, Hinata, Stop messing around or else you'll get an earful from Daichi-san." Yamaguchi tries to mediate the situation. The last time the idiotic duo did something stupid, all the first years had to run extra laps. And he was not up for that today.

"No use talking to idiots Yamaguchi." Tsukki sneered. "They have an IQ capacity of a teaspoon."

Hinata stood at the line of the court, deciding to go first. Throwing the ball into the air, he jumped as high as he could. As if he were a crow that leaped into the sky. His ball managed to land a good one meter away from line of the opposite side. A loud bang resonating the court and he beamed smugly at his tall opponent. Kageyama had a ball ready in hands as he took Hinata's place. Itching to outperformed the record set by the orange-head. Closing his eyes, he briefly replayed Oikawa's diabolical jump serve from their previous practice match. He knew he was a hundred years too early to be able to do that. Doesn't mean he won't try his luck though.

With a deep exhale, he took flight. Blocking out all sounds surrounding him, save that of his squeaking shoes and the volleyball as he slapped it forward. The stinging sensation felt on his hand causing him to grin. Not quite like Oikawa's, but still powerful. This is it, it will definitely plunge further than Hinata's. And it did. The ball flew pass that one meter mark. And hit a person. Kageyama's eyes blinked twice before the situation finally seeped through his thick skull. He had hit someone's head! Suddenly he could hear his surroundings again. Hinata panicked scream. Yamaguchi running towards the unfortunate human being who fell to the ground. Tsukki trying not to laugh at this slapstick comedy.

Kageyama sprinted towards the person. A hundred thoughts running through his mind. Is the person alright? Is he going to get in trouble with Daichi for this? Where are the third years anyway? Most importantly, when was that person there? How is it he did not notice them? What were they doing there in the first place? Surely no one would actually collapsed from that hit, right? He stood behind Yamaguchi who was trying to communicate with the seemingly unconscious person. And that was when Kageyama noticed, the person was a girl. A petite girl. He kneeled beside Yamaguchi. She seemed to be a little pale.

"Hello?" Yamaguchi tapping her shoulder. "Excuse me, can you hear me?"

No reply.

"KAGEYAMA KILLED SOMEONE!" Hinata hollered.

"What are you going to do now Kageyama?" Despite knowing that she only passed out, Tsukki decided to humour Hinata.

"I'll take her to the nurse's office." Immediately he carried her and jogged out of the court. Hoping not to run into anyone. Especially Daichi.

He couldn't help but glance at her face every three seconds. Wondering if she will wake up midway. But she didn't and that worried him more. If it weren't for her soft faint breaths he would have thought that he actually committed manslaughter with his jump serve. Besides, she has such a small frame. He was afraid if he really did break her. Kageyama held her closer to his body. Noticing how she fit snugly in his arms. And when looked closely, she's actually really cute. A blush spread quickly all over his face. What was he thinking? He doesn't even know her.

~~~~~~~~~~

(Y/n) blinked slowly. Feeling slightly dazed.

She woke up late today, all because of that stupid extra Japanese literature homework that had to be submitted during first period. And because she woke up late, she skipped breakfast. She wanted to get something during lunch, but had to drop by the school library to return some books that were due today. Well what do you know, apparently everyone needed to return their books today. If she had known she would've asked her friends to at least get her melon bread. She had about 10 minutes left before lunch ended, but she ran into her senior and was reminded to submit the club activities report today.

It was so hard to focus on classes for the rest of the afternoon. She drank lots of water in hopes to delay the impending dizziness. It was somewhat working. She only needed to wait until clubs and activities time. She'll get a sugary drink from the vending machine, then tell the club leader that she's going to head home early. But karma really had to be a bitch today. Her wallet was not in her bag. (Y/n) dreaded the fact that she might have dropped it somewhere. Searching for her wallet with this now nasty migraine is really going to be such a pain. That is until she suddenly remembered she left it in her drawer at home. She had forgotten about it amidst the rush.

(Y/n) crouched in front of the vending machine. What are the gods playing at exactly. Is it really so hard to get a single bite? Is this karma for denying Mr. Snuggles his treat last week? Well it was not her fault that he knocked over her pudding off the table! She was on the verge of tears when she heard the sound of volleyballs. Oh right, the vending machine was sort of close to the volleyball court... Didn't Yachi say she was recently the co-manager for Karasuno's volleyball club along with that beautiful senior Kiyoko. There is hope. She only needed a little money to get that small carton of drink.

She stood up quickly and regretted it. God, this migraine is killing her. With every ounce of determination she had left, she dragged her feet towards the court. Swaying a little every now and then. The sounds were getting louder, The ball hitting the court, shoes squeaking and people yelling? This is a good thing, it meant that she was getting closer. This is also a bad thing, because it's splitting her skull. Everything around her blurred as she entered the hall. Shit, where is Yachi? She took a few more steps before she felt a hard impact on her head. Dear lord that hurts like hell. And she lost all control of her body before everything went black.

"Oi." a gruff voice distracted her thoughts.

She sat up immediately. Hitting her head on the bed post in the process. She has realized by now that she must have passed out and someone from the volleyball club took her to the nurses office. It must have been this boy sitting beside her. But that still didn't mean she wouldn't be caught off guard. She has always been somewhat intimidated by the male species. Especially those tall towering ones that had to bend a little to talk to her. It's one of the unfortunate things one has to endure being 4'10 and having a small frame. People often joked that she could fit in a suitcase. Though seeing her other shorter friends did brought her pleasure, it still doesn't change the fact that a lot of people around her were giants.

"Idiot."

"Excuse me?" she glared. What's the big idea calling her an idiot out of nowhere. He was the one who surprised her. Sitting on a stool at her bedside, ain't that too close for a stranger, sir?  Who is he again? The volleyball club is pretty popular here in Karasuno after they managed to get into the finals of Inter high recently. It was unfortunate that they lost to Aoba Johsai, but everyone acknowledged what a monster the school was. Yachi said everyone felt down but it didn't dampened their spirit, for their next chance will be the Spring Tournament.

"S-sorry." the guy replied.

Dark eyes darting away from her face. She could make out an intimidating look on his face. Eyebrows furrowing sternly. Lips set on a grim line. Yet his cheeks flushed. Or was it because of the orange hue from the setting sun (she couldn't really tell), which also made his black hair glow. It dawned upon (y/n) that if he could just smooth away his frown, he would be handsome (she thinks). And if only he weren't being gruffy. Wait a minute. Tall volleyball player, black hair, intimidating frowning face but yet somehow still good looking?

"I'm Kageyama Tobio-"

"I know."

Silence... Well that was awkward.

She cleared her throat. "I'm (L/n) (Y/n). From Class 5. Um, Yachi's friend."

"Oh." Shoot. He didn't know she was Yachi's friend. What will the manager say about this. "I'm sorry. That my jump serve knocked you out."

"No no no! I was actually a little hypoglycemic. So your uh, jump serve was just the final nail in the coffin." Damn, she knew that getting hit by any ball was going to hurt. But the ball just now, it felt like it could tear her head off. Or maybe that's just an exaggeration of being starved the whole day. She realized his expression went from frowning to horrifying. "N-not that it will literally be the final nail to my coffin! It was just an expression. Maybe not a good one. Sorry I'm just bad with words when it comes to strangers. I mean not that you're an absolute stranger. It's just that- I'm sorry, I'm blabbering too much."

"Not at all!" he yelled. Ah, he got too animated. He didn't understand why. But he just thought everything about this girl is cute. From her petite stature that makes him want to shield her from the wind. To her way of talking that showed just how shy and awkward she was as how it is with him. Trying to reassure him that it was fine. He couldn't understand this sudden grip in his heart and the tingling sensation at his fingertips. Though maybe it was because he hasn't touch the volleyball for a few hours now.

Another awkward silence ensues.

"Anyways," (Y/n) was still a bit shy. She was after all talking to one of the most popular boys at school. But seeing as how he is now, she thought she could loosen up her guard a bit. "Have you seen my glasses?"

"You wear glasses?"

They rushed back together to the volleyball court. Yachi attacked her with a hug as she lamented about the news she heard from her fellow peers. Daichi scolding him to be careful next time whilst Tanaka giving him his infamous gangster glare. Hinata coming forward with his head down as he presented (Y/n)'s broken glasses. He accidently stepped on them when he was panicking, though he only realised it when she was sent to the nurse's office. Her glasses must have fallen off her head when she got hit. That hard huh. Really God, you want to test her that much today. Fine, she'll apologize to Mr. Snuggles when she gets home.

Unbeknownst to her, Kageyama felt even worse than earlier. His ball caused her to knocked out, and now it even knocked off the glasses from her head and broke it. Stuttering on his words, he apologized again. Hands balled into a tight fist. He just felt so bad. Suga noticed how dejected he sounded. But he also noticed how pink his ears were. Oh? Well even if it wasn't what he thought, there was no harm in... light teasing. Besides, they'd looked adorable together, no?

"If you really feel guilty. Then you should walk her home today." slinging his arm over Kageyama's shoulder, Suga tried to keep a neutral expression. Well there was a slight smirk, but he tried. "What if she falls down on her way home? Or run into a pole?"

"I am short-sighted Sugawara-senpai. Not blind." (Y/n) said through gritted teeth. Really these eyesight jokes should be old by now. "Besides, I will need to stop by the optic shop to have new ones made."

"All the more for him to accompany you. It will get dark soon. Might be dangerous to be walking alone with such bad eyesight."

"Oh no, I wouldn't want to burden-"

"Let's go." Kageyama interrupted. And when she declined again, he argued back. "Stop being a stubborn idiot. You still haven't eaten, you can't see well and you're so light that people can just easily carry you away."

Did he just called her an idiot for the second time in the short the period they have known each other. How rude! Not that his points were invalid. He was right. But boy does this person lack delicacy. In the end, she agreed to let him accompany her. He bought two cartons of milk from the vending machine. One for each of them, and they set off on their merry way.

~~~~~~~~~~

"No- Okay. Once again. Osmosis only works with solvents. Simple diffusion, both solvents and solutes. So in osmosis, solvents will move from low solute concentration-" (Y/n) stopped explaining when she noticed how Kageyama's brows were almost touching. His lips formed a small pout. "You know what, we have been revising for more than an hour. Let's take 5. Then continue for another hour. It's getting late and although my mum likes you, my dad wouldn't like you being in my room for too long."

Ever since that day where he sent her home, she began hanging out more with Yachi and the volleyball club. Not that she never hung out with her close friend, it's just that (y/n) felt out of place when she mingles with unfamiliar crowds. But now that every member knew her as the girl who got hit by Kageyama's jump serve, that became the basis of her acquaintanceship with the club and she got to hang out with Yachi more. And before she realized it, Kageyama has just been around her circle. Always there. Heck he has been walking her home more often now that even her mother likes him. Then they became just friends. Or she hoped it stayed that way, because she noticed her emotions began crossing unknown territories.

(Y/n) has come to learn a few things about Kageyama Tobio over the course of their friendship. One, he is an obsessed volleyball freak. A prodigy people say. But what (Y/n) sees is a person consumed by passion for the things he loves. And that isn't necessarily bad. Two, he can be quite childish. He fails to control his frustration which later comes off the wrong way whenever he expresses them. But really he means no harm, because when he is happy, he expresses them genuinely. And three, he is quite sensitive. He may want to show that he didn't care, but he actually takes things to heart. He may feel down about a comment, but he will learn to improve from it.

"Sorry."

"What for?"

"For having to teach an idiot like me."

"Oh stop it. Everyone is good and bad at something. We can't all be the perfect prodigy. That's just how things are. You may be bad at studying, but with your volleyball skills I bet you can represent Japan one day." noticing his eyes lit up, she continued. "So in order for you to attend your camp. Let's just try our best okay?"

Kageyama nodded. It was a little embarrassing to have her comforting him like this. But at the same time it brings him immense joy. When he first met her, he would get flutters looking at her cute appearance. Now, he just feels all warm and fuzzy whenever she talks to him. He liked that she didn't judge him or anyone she's ever met. She would scold him sometimes, but at the same time explained her reasoning. And he really appreciated that, how patient she was with him. It does make him guilty, but at the same time he wants to start behaving better. Is this what Suga meant when he said he has a crush on (Y/n)? Kageyama doesn't really know. He will need time to analyze everything.

"(L/n), do you have time during our Spring Tournament?" he tried looking anywhere else but her face.

"You want me to cheer on the club? Sure thing."

"Yes." Hearing her reply made him smile. With a steady gaze he stared straight into her eyes. "Watch me play, (y/n). I'll show you a really strong serve."

(Y/n) could only smile back as she felt butterflies in her stomach. "Then we better get back to studying."

[braunbakery]

meet me at our spot (2)

☞ eren jaeger x reader [fem bodied] [chapter word count: 2k]

☞ sfw, fluff, mild angst, modern au, short fic, other characters present

fic plot: before high school, you and eren were best friends. after high school, you and eren are strangers still grasping at those same past threads.

inspired by meet me at our spot by the anxiety

prev. next

2. something’s got ahold of me

a once-off conversation is just that - once-off. so you try to convince yourself there’s no point in dwelling on seeing eren yesterday, or dwelling on how he helped you sit back up, or how he smiled at you before he left. there’s no point. it was just a coincidence, a fluke.

eren has an entire group of friends. armin and mikasa, who you’ve shared a couple classes with and known since they were young. jean kirstein, who’s guts eren swore he hated back in the first couple days of freshman year. connie and sasha, who you know of course because of the commotion that always seems to follow them. he sees them everyday, and he only said he’d see you around as a courtesy.

you repeat this as a mantra over and over in your head, trying to distract yourself from looking up every few seconds the wind causes the leaves outside the treehouse to rustle and the small voice in your head that hopes it’s eren.

you sit cross-legged on the floorboards, pulling out more weird trinkets and drawings from years ago and placing them in a plastic bag to the side. now you know there’s not really any chance of being interrupted by eren again, of being rendered speechless when you’re just trying to get your shit and go (so why does your chest keep sinking whenever you swear that you can hear someone come up the ladder only to be met with an empty doorway?)

at some point you start to get sick of yourself, keeping your head focused on the box in your lap and shoving whatever even seems remotely yours into the plastic bag. so when you hear what distantly sounds like footsteps again, you don’t look up.

“hey,” a voice speaks, and your head lurches up from your hunched over position. it’s eren, hand on the frame of the doorway and peering into the wooden room.

“hi,” you practically squeak out. eren steps in.

“you back again?”

“yeah,” you say, “i still have…some stuff.”

you wonder if knows that’s as soon as he left yesterday you got out of here.

eren leans down and picks up the photo album from yesterday off of the floor, “you want this?”

“oh, you can keep it if you want.”

eren walks closer to you and sits down next to you. he doesn’t seem to notice you watching him carefully, “nah, i remember it was your idea, right?”

“yeah,” you hesitantly confirm, “but theyre our photographs.”

you notice eren freeze and you regret saying that because now he’s looking at you in a way…in a way that makes you feel like he only ever looks at you like that.

“this is one weird custody battle,” eren jokes before putting the photo album back down and grabbing the box in your lap.

“hey!” you exclaim, shoving his arm, “i was literally looking through that.”

“yeah,” eren offers you a shit-eating grin, “and now i am.”

“how are you still so annoying?”

“and how are you still so easy to annoy?” eren moves his face closer to yours.

you feel blood rush to your face and mumble sheepishly, “shut up.”

and with that, eren seems satisfied enough to let you balance the box halfway on his lap and the other half on yours, both of you rummaging through clutter silently as an excuse to sit for a little longer.

you hear an engine rev after eren does and only when you look at him do you realise hes stood up and is practically hanging out of the treehouse in an attempt to peer down at his drive way.

“oh,” he says, and you wonder if it’s more so to himself than to you, “it’s reiner.” it seems dumb, but you only realise he’s speaking to you when he turns back to you like he’s waiting for a response. you’re not really used to all this talking with him. like…talking personally to you and not the you that walks past him every once in a while.

“right.”

“him and a few of the others are coming over to hangout.”

“right,” you start anticipating him bidding you goodbye and climbing back down the ladder, but the goodbye never comes and he still stands over you like he’s deep in thought.

“do you…wanna come?” eren sounds out, like he’s testing out how the syllables feel on his lips.

“…what?” what the hell is he talking about?

“to hang out,” eren says carefully, eyes flicking back and forth between yours, “with us.” he adds.

with eren’s friends? you don’t want to be possessive or weirdly resentful but the first thought you have is that he’s inviting you to sit with the people that he prefers. you have to mentally slap yourself to remember that drifting away is normal, and they’re all probably really nice. and it was four fucking years ago. and you don’t stay friends with the people you knew when you were 8.

“oh…are you sure?” you ask. eren shifts from one foot to the other before taking another step towards you. the box in your lap feels like it’s slipping from your grasp.

“yeah, why not?” he says, and he must notice how he doesn’t sound very convinced of himself either when he watches your eyes droop because he’s quickly interjecting before you can say anything back, “it’ll be fun. come on.”

his hand extends out to you. you want to slap his hand away and tease him, say you don’t need his help, that you’re not an old lady, but your palm is already meeting his and you can already feel calloused fingers over your skin and him pulling you up to stand in front of him.

the short journey between the treehouse to eren’s kitchen is a blur, and saying hi to reiner and who he brought with him (bertolt, you think. as well as connie and jean) is even blurrier, because all of a sudden you find yourself seated on one of the stools in eren’s kitchen and absentmindedly listening to whatever the hell they’re talking about.

you appreciate how eren spares you a glance every once in a while, offering you a close mouthed smile like you haven’t not been in this house since you were 14.

“hey, eren,” reiners voice bellows from the front of the house and you hear him unlock the front door. the look you and eren are sharing is cut short by reiner, “armin, mikasa and sasha are here.”

“‘kay,” eren responds even though the three new visitors are already waltzing into the living room. you’re still frozen in place. you don’t even remember the last thing you said.

“guys, this is my - sasha get out of the fridge - my neigh–” eren tries to start, but sasha is suddenly barreling towards your seat at the kitchen island.

“hi! you’re in my bio class, right?!” sasha excitedly asks you, practically jumping on the spot.

“you mean she was, sasha. we’re not in high school anymore,” connie calls out from behind her. sasha rolls her eyes.

“it’s so nice to see you!”

“thanks…it’s nice to see you too.”

“you’re scaring the girl, sasha,” jean comments before deciding to grab something from the fridge himself. sasha immediately follows after him. you lock eyes with eren again and you realise he had already been watching you.

“hi,” a soft voice greets you, and suddenly mikasa is standing by your seat, “nice to see you again.”

“yeah, it’s been forever,” armin adds from beside her.

“you guys know each other too?” reiner asks from across the room, leaning on one of the kitchen counters next to eren.

“from when we were kids,” you say, flitting your eyes to eren only to find that he’s looking at you again. you want him to stop so you don’t have to focus so hard on speaking anymore, but you want him to keep doing it because it’s nice to know that he’s still knows you’re here. which sounds pathetic but, eren’s got such a big group of friends that sometimes you think it was kind of inevitable that he slowly drifted away from you.

“we all kinda knew each other before high school, reiner,” armin explains, sparing you another smile.

“you and bertolt literally transferred in halfway through freshman year, how do you not know this?” jean calls over to reiner.

“just slipped my mind i guess.”

“he was too busy trying not to be mistaken for a senior,” connie jokes. the room laughs. you try to.

“don’t you mean a security guard?” jean adds. everyone laughs again. you didn’t really spend that much time looking at the two boys when they had transferred, so the joke is kind of lost on you, but you smile along anyways.

“ha-ha, very funny,” reiner sarcastically retorts, “don’t know why you’re laughing, bertolt. think someone mistook you for someone’s dad once.” another eruption of laughter.

you really don’t wanna start feeling out of place (well, more out of place than you did before) but when everyone starts shooting jokes and comments across the room at each other, it gets harder and harder to stretch out a smile over your face at each one. and it gets harder and harder to look up and eren, to watch him laugh along with everyone or have him lock eyes with you again, until you’re all together just staring at your lap.

you think…you think it’s time for you to go.

eren stands at the corner of his kitchen, still leaning against his counter, so you carefully slip out of the stool and make your way towards him, wanting to try your utmost best to make this exchange as short as possible before you go back home.

“i think i’m gonna go,” you say to him quietly, awkwardly staring anywhere other than his face.

“hm?” eren is cut out of the lively conversation with his friends and is looking back at you, lips parted momentarily as his tries to figure out what you said. he takes a step closer towards you and your heart skips a beat, “wait–“

you cut him off, trying to get out of there before you’re reminded even more of how you just faded away from eren’s life, “thanks for inviting me.”

you quickly whisk yourself away to the front door before eren can say anything more, not trying to deal with any more of what always seems like general politeness to you. just as you’re about to step out of the front door, a hand wraps around your wrist when you let go of the door handle and you turn around to be met with eren behind you, looking just as shocked with himself are you are.

“uh…” eren’s gaze shifts between your eyes repeatedly, “is everything okay?”

you look down at his hand around your wrist and back up at him, “yeah. just tired.” you feel his grip loosen but he still doesn’t let go, and a part of you isn’t ready for him to.

“see you around?” he echoes what seems to be his catchphrase. you nod your head in a way that you know isn’t as enthusiastic as what he might like to see. he’s just being polite. today was another coincidence, another fluke, and he isn’t actually going to want to make any effort to see you again. even if you’re just next door. he hasn’t for the past four years.

“yeah,” you quietly respond, slipping your wrist out of his grasp. you can still faintly hear chatter from inside the house. eren watches as you trod down the front steps to his house and make your way back over to your own, the back of your head never turning even just for a second to look back at him.

eren doesn’t like regrets. he doesn’t like wasting time on them, he doesn’t like how they make him feel like he should be in a rush to do something that he’s not even sure of (that he can’t even take back). but as he watches you leave his house, he thinks that if there’s one thing he’d let himself regret, it’d be not realizing he’d fallen away from you before it was too late.

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