#i was not gonna finish rendering this so posting was the only way to share and not forget forever

[itsangrynar]

Don't you dare forget the sun, love

[spookwyrdie]

Use Your Words

sub!Seungmin x dom!reader

word count: 7.8k

summary: When a secret about your former life is revealed during a game of 'Never Have I Ever' at a house party, Seungmin has a whole identity crisis in the bathroom. He's never been submissive before…but maybe you can help him out with that.

genre: smut, college AU, gentle femdom

warnings: alcohol, adult dialogue, sexual content, dom/sub dynamics, gentle femdom, a little hurt/comfort, oral (reader receiving), bathroom sex

a/n: this is my first ever fic and I'm a big nervous baby about it!

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I have only posted this here and on AO3 - user: spookwyrdie

Another bottle clinks onto your kitchen counter as Seungmin finishes off his third beer of the evening. He hasn’t even been in your small apartment for an hour and he’s already three drinks in, trying to submerge his foul mood with alcohol. He stands in your small kitchen, staring blankly into your living room. It’s a postage stamp of an apartment, so the few bodies that occupy it felt overwhelming with you glowing in the middle. God, she looks good, Seungmin thinks to himself and his expression sours. He couldn’t take his eyes off you if he tried - and oh, how he has tried. 

Chan and Minho flank you during some sort of banter Seungmin can’t hear, but he’s aware of your every move. The way you place a hand on Chan’s arm, the way you swat at Minho’s shoulder, the way your face lights up when Felix joins the conversation - you’re so animated! The buzz in the room is charged with a comfortable charm you seem to bring with you everywhere you go. Watching you flit around the room, chatting and checking on everyone at your own party makes Seungmin feel so invisible standing here like a potted plant by your kitchen sink. 

“You’re gonna burn a hole in her if you keep staring like that,” a voice whispers into his ear. 

Seungmin jolts and snaps back into the present to find Changbin at his shoulder with a smirk on his face. 

“What? What are you talking about?” 

Changbin shrugs his thick shoulders, muscles straining against the material of his black shirt, “Staring daggers at someone at their own house party is considered a dick move, that’s all.” 

“Whatever,” Seungmin mutters as he opens the fridge again to grab yet another drink. The cold of the refrigerator helps soothe the strange hot sensation he’s feeling in the pit of his stomach. 

At that moment you bounce your way into the kitchen. “Everything okay? Do you guys need anything?” 

“Only your presence, y/n,” Changbin grins and flutters his eyelashes at you like a princess. 

“Aww, Binnie you’re so sweet!” You pinch his cheek and coo at him like a baby. Seungmin buries himself in the fridge, shielded from this exchange. The last thing he needs is to witness you being cute and touchy with the other guys in front of him - he hates it. He’s been aware of your talent for captivating anyone within 15 feet of you since he first laid eyes on you in your shared lecture hall.  That day the air hummed with electricity when you got up to introduce yourself - your voice, your humor, your smile, made everything light up in Seungmin when he first saw you. It was effortless and he hated that he was drawn in so easily. 

“How about you Minnie, searching for Narnia in my fridge?” 

You’re suddenly next to him, gently place your hand on his shoulder as you turn all your attention to him. The warmth of your hand through his shirt sends a zing down his spine. He grabs the first bottle he sees and turns to look at you. You’re so close to him he starts to feel crowded. Your eyes are sparkling in the low warm light and the mild herbal scent of your perfume renders him mute. The weight of your eye contact presses into him, a look of delight tinged with concern on your face. There’s no way all that attention is directed towards him, yet here he is, cemented to the floor by your eyes. 

Just then, the front door bursts open - thank god for the distraction. Seungmin doesn’t know how long that silence would’ve been otherwise.  

“The party is finally here, y’all!” Jisung’s voice rings out. He’s got his classic smug smile on his face and a huge glass bottle of amber liquid. “I brought some whiskey, so it’s time to get down to business!” 

“What sort of business did you have in mind, Ji?” you ask as you meet him at the door and drape your arm around his shoulders. Jisung beams at you, his unoccupied hand finds your waist, easily tugging you to his side. 

“Obviously the party game kind, duh. Never have I ever! Y/n, we’re gonna need all the shot glasses you own,” Jisung pecks you on the forehead and you giggle. It’s enough to make all of the muscles in Seungmin’s stomach lurch. 

~~~ 

It started off innocently enough, a couple of “never have I ever gotten a tattoo” “given a fake number to someone” “flirted with a teacher” so everyone in the room was glazed in the warmth of liquor. It had been a while since you had let yourself drink like this, and it felt nice to feel safe around everyone enough to let your guard down a little. The only sore spot was Seungmin across the room - silent, avoiding your eye contact when you refilled his glass after every time he took a drink. His cheeks were starting to get rosy under his dark hair, but he seemed a bit too sullen for your taste. You really wondered if he even enjoyed being here, maybe he was dragged along by one of the other guys. 

“This is boring, I don’t need to know if any of you have ever worn your underwear two days in a row, Jeongin,” said Hyunjin. “Gross, by the way.” 

“That was one time, and I didn’t have a choice, fuck off!” Jeongin spluttered next to you. 

“Whatever, I wanna get to the spicy shit. Never have I everrr…” Hyunjin paused, looking around the circle with the devil in his eyes, “choked someone during sex.”  

Everyone froze in place for a split second while Hyunjin scanned the room with a sly grin on his face. Damn it. You had skated by for a while now without anything kinky coming up in conversations, so it wasn’t like you needed to talk about it. Were you really about to open up about that aspect of your life with these guys? They still didn’t know you that well, you had no idea how they’d react. Taking a steadying breath, you reached for your drink - at the same time Han and Changbin grabbed theirs. All eyes were on you though as you lifted your small glass in the air to clink it with the two other degenerates taking a shot with you. Your eyes flitted nervously around the room trying to gauge the reaction. Most eyebrows were raised, Changbin smirked with his little downturned smile, Han winked at you, but the one face that you landed on was Seungmin - mouth agape, eyes glazed over, frowning off into space. Oh no… Is he judging you?  

“Well, I’ve never been the one doing the choking,” Felix says, breaking your concentration on Seungmin’s gobsmacked expression. “I never pegged you as someone who’d be into that, y/n!” 

“Speaking of pegging,” Minho interjected, “Never have I ever been pegged!” 

A groan went around the room as Chan, Felix, Hyunjin, and Han all downed another shot. 

“He always uses that one when we play, it’s unfair!” Felix pouts.  

“It’s not my fault that I can tell who’s a pervert just by looking at them.”  

“I want to know more about y/n and the choking thing though,” Han says, his eyes roam your body. “What other sort of stuff have you gotten into?” 

“Ah-ah, that’s not how the game is played,” Chan says. “You have to say a ‘never have I ever’ if you want answers.” 

“Fine! Never have I ever…gone to a BDSM club.” Han narrows his eyes as if challenging you. You cock an eyebrow at him as you grab your glass. Your old instincts kick in to emanate a cool confidence even though your heart rate skyrocketed. You may be anxious but you’re not one to back down from a silly little power play like Han was throwing out there.  

You reach for the bottle to refill it, but a hand snatches it away, tilting it into your glass to fill it for you. You find Seungmin, eyes downcast, bottle in hand.  

“You were gonna spill…” he mumbles. 

There’s that feeling of electricity running through the room again, a low buzz that vibrates under your skin and runs down to your lower belly. Seungmin and his attitude have a way of bringing out the dominant energy you used to wield - a possessive hunger bubbles through you.  

“Never have I ever done anything with rope bondage!” Hyunjin blurts out, eyes locked onto your face. 

A nervous giggle escapes you again as your old lifestyle is apparently in the spotlight right now. You’re about to move to grab the bottle from Seungmin to pour yourself yet another shot but stop - Seungmin seemed really eager to do this for you. Who are you to pass up the opportunity to mess with him a little? 

You make sure your eyes catch his, your gaze hooded yet intense - you tap your shot glass with your finger, gesturing for him to pour. His grip tightens around the bottle, cheeks redder than before as more of that amber liquid flows into your small cup. It’s like time slows down for a moment and you feel yourself entering that old headspace, exhilarated by being bossy and making someone squirm just by looking at them. His eyes flit back and forth between you and your drink, conflict tinges his features. He’s got a wrinkle between his eyebrows nearly hidden by his hair that you want to smooth out with your thumb. Your face feels hot as you raise the glass to your lips and toss back yet another shot. 

Hyunjin lunges at you after you down your shot, grabbing your shoulders and accidentally knocking over a few empty glasses on the table, “Tell me everything! Where did you learn? What sort of rope do you use? Are you a rope top or bottom? Can you show me?!” He’s so excited, he ends up shaking your shoulders as you laugh. 

“I’ve been doing it for a few years! I mostly use natural jute or hemp! And I only top!” you manage to get out between giggles.  

“Oh, do we have a domme in our midst?” Changbin says, a lecherous look in his eye. The rest of the room seems to wait on edge for your reply. 

“I mean, sort of. I haven’t done it in a long time, especially since I moved away from the old studio I would work at sometimes,” you sheepishly admit. You can feel your heartbeat in your throat at this admission. Opening up to people about this could go vastly different directions - either everyone would embrace it or they would cast you aside. Bringing up not only your kink experience but your history of dabbling in sex work wasn’t exactly conventional. The whiskey in your belly would soften the landing for you either way. 

“Work at?” 

“So like…professionally?” 

“What sort of stuff did you do?” 

“What kind of domme are you?!” 

“Can you tie me up sometime?!” 

The voices overlap and swirl around you, you’re comfortably tipsy and beaming with the new trust you feel towards this group of beautiful idiots. They’re all shouting their questions at you in rapt attention - everyone except Seungmin, who looks like he’s been slapped in the face.  You hush them all with a finger to your lips. 

“I was semi-professional, but like I said, I don’t really do it anymore. Things got a little…complicated at the end there. Emotionally, I mean.” you say. The boys are all fascinated by your revelation. The din of chatter swells up again and you do your best to answer all their questions. You get crowded as you laugh your way through explanations of safety, how you kept your professional and private lives separate, what sort of gear did you own. They’re rabid for answers. As the chat bounces around the circle, you look over to check on Seungmin. But between the noise and the kink jokes and the questions, there’s an empty spot in the circle. 

Seungmin isn’t there.  

~~~ 

Fuck. 

Seungmin grips the edge of the sink with white knuckles. What was he even doing back there? Why did he want to pour your drinks? What are these weird feelings stirring in his stomach right now? That stupid drinking game - he’s gonna kill Han for even suggesting it. The way everyone fawned over you already made him sick to his stomach but finding out that you do all those things, have all this in depth experience with choking, bondage, domming…. 

Finding out that you have done all the things that Seungmin has only ever let himself dream of late at night, all those ideas about kneeling in front of someone who takes charge, he’s never felt so exposed! The way you looked at him when he poured you that drink, he felt like he was strung up and writhing in front of you like your next meal – and he liked it. He hated that he liked it. Hot tears welled up in his eyes over the fact that it was so easy for you to just unravel him like that in a matter of seconds. He had felt his cock twitch just from sitting across from you during the game and all he did was pour you a drink and look at you in silence. 

He slides down the wall in your small bathroom, rubbing his eyes furiously. He wanted you so much in that moment while shame and desire curled around his ribs. A person having this much control over him makes him so nervous, and what was worse is he wanted to throw himself head first into it. The way you made him feel, the fierce concentration you had on him in those few seconds, was enough to toss himself at your feet and grovel. 

He feels trapped within himself, like he’s being forced to confront what he really wants. He wants to be held, told what to do, made to cry, brought to the brink over and over again until he’s delirious. He wants to fall and know that there is someone strong enough to catch him. Putting that sort of faith in someone is terrifying. 

That’s why he hates being around you. You have this way of exposing all the sensitive little things within him until he can’t ignore it anymore. Seungmin usually ignores this submissive feeling, it’s so fucking embarrassing. He knows how others would see him, so he tends to stay quiet to avoid it. Many find him intimidating given his streak for brutal honesty. The people he’s dated in the past have all been attracted to him for his sharp wit and cutting tongue. Many have wanted him to take charge and he happily obliged them at the time - at the cost of his own desires. If he didn’t bring them up then he wouldn’t feel vulnerable - problem solved, right? But all that has come tumbling down because of you and your eye contact.  It’s like you melt all his icy defenses with just your gaze. He can’t imagine what it would be like to actually have you towering over him, directing him, binding him. It’s almost too overwhelming to consider. Even thinking about this, he feels himself growing hard at the thought of you being in control.  

Watching you have the time of your life with the group has a way of making Seungmin so small.  You’re the newest addition to this dynamic and he doesn’t know how to place you yet, so he keeps you at a comfortable arm's length. His defensiveness has gotten more pronounced lately and it’s starting to fuck with his friendships with the other guys. His jokes have gotten a little meaner, his tone has come out a little too harsh. He can’t keep feeling bitter because you’re so sweet with them, but he’s filled with vivid envy any time you so much as look at one of them.  

These past few months he’s watched you seep into his solid circle of friends, naturally slotting yourself firmly in as a charmer in the group. Seungmin has been watching you as you get closer with the other guys, openly affectionate, doting on them, giving attention freely to any of them that asks. You show your care to the others so easily and Seungmin feels forgotten. To you, he’s just an afterthought. Tears prick at his eyes yet again as he buries his head in his arms. 

A knock on the door shakes him out of his spiral. 

~~~ 

The chaos of your domme confession has ebbed. You sneak out of the living room as the boys got distracted by other things - Chan and Changbin hover in the corner over the music selection, Hyunjin showing Felix and Jeongin pictures he’s saved on his phone of shibari suspensions, Han leaning on Minho’s shoulder as they bicker about who’s cuter in a drunken affection war. You tip-toe your way to the hallway and knock on the bathroom door that’s been closed for a while now. 

“You okay Minnie?” 

You don’t get an answer, but you hear some shuffling noises, so you try again. “Are you in there? Can I come in?” 

After a pause, you hear a muffled “yeah” in response. You slide into the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind you. Seungmin is sitting on the floor, knees drawn up towards his chest, staring off into the distance. You step over to him, gingerly placing your hand on his head, stroking his hair lightly. 

“Feeling alright? You look like shit.” 

He jerks his head away from your touch, his face crumpling into a frown.  

“I’m fine, thanks.”  

“You’re not fine, you’ve been in here for ages. Did you get sick?” 

“No, just needed to splash some water on my face,” he says, not looking in your direction. 

“Me and the guys miss you out there.” 

He scoffs “you and the guys? Yeah, of course. Always you and the guys.”  

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Nothing! Forget it. I’m being stupid,” His voice trembles. “Just leave me alone, y/n.” 

He doesn’t move and you kneel down beside him.  

“I brought you some water.” 

“Don’t want it.” 

You sigh, annoyed by the pout that’s on his face. “Come on, baby. You can either tell me what’s wrong or drink this water. Which do you choose?”  

He says nothing, only shrugging his shoulders. 

“You’ve been crying.” 

Silence. 

“You should always drink some water after you cry. You’ll get dehydrated if you don’t.” 

He turns towards you then, defiance infused in his gaze. 

“Make me.” 

Make me.  

It’s like a trigger word for a sleeper agent. Your body reacts before your mind can catch up, fueled by the alcohol still thrumming through your system. You uncap the water bottle and cautiously grab his chin. You pause, eyes locked on his, giving him ample time to push your hand away, to deny you. Instead, he gives you the smallest nod. Your thumb grazes over his bottom lip as you lift his chin and bring the bottle to his lips. Your other hand snakes to the back of his head, gently grasping the hair at his nape. Tilting his head back, his eyes burn through you as he sips the cold water. He blinks back the tears in his wide eyes as his face tinges pink. Seungmin slowly leans into the hand cupping his jaw. He leans his head forward slightly when he’s done. Your thumb ghosts over the wet spot on his lip and he sighs. 

“You gonna tell me what’s wrong?” 

“I just…-” he starts, as a tear slips down his cheek. “I just wish you liked me like you like them. It’s fine that you don’t, I know I’m…not easy to be around.” 

Confusion sets in as you tenderly wipe the tears from his face, both hands cupping his face like handling something fragile.  

“That’s not true, I like you, Minnie.” 

“You don’t have to lie to me. I see the way you look at them.” 

You frown at that. “What way do I look at them?” 

“Like you enjoy being around them.” 

“I enjoy being around you, too. I bet you’d enjoy me more if you let me in a little.” Your hands leave his face, trailing down his arms to grasp at his hands, almost pleading. The desire to be close to him has always been there. With his soft hair, sharp eyes, his acerbic sense of humor, how could you not? But any time he looks at you, he goes blank. You’ve been in his orbit for long enough to know how to encompass him, but you don’t know how to close the distance between the two of you. 

But something happened tonight, something made him get up and leave while you were being bombarded by questions about your past. Was it all the talk about kink that made him run?  

It’s quiet for a moment. He studies your hands as you gently run your thumbs over his knuckles. You break the silence with the only question on your mind. 

 “What made you leave earlier?” 

~~~ 

He never imagined how soft your hands would be on his. The little circles you were rubbing over his knuckles could drive him insane. Holding your hands like this gives him a great excuse not to look into your eyes, because when he had done it earlier and you said all those nice things about him to his face, his brain short circuited. You have him tethered by the hands, the one thing keeping him grounded while the rest of him floats out of his body.  

“I-” he croaks out, but he couldn’t get the words to form. He doesn’t even know what to say. Images of you as a domme - his domme - spin around in his head. You just told him that you enjoyed being around him and he was supposed to be normal about that? Guilt drips into his stomach at that, knowing how he has pushed you away every chance he got to protect himself. But here you are, checking in on him, doting on him, holding his hands even when he has offered you nothing but a cold shoulder for so long. The silence stretches out the longer he lets his thoughts spiral. 

You start to move, to pull away, and panic roars to life in his chest. You are finally so close to him, he can’t let that go! He snatches your fingers, pulling you back down towards him. “Wait! Don’t go yet!” 

Your expression flows from surprise to confusion to…wary? He can’t let you leave. Your voice is a low murmur, and your eyes drop to your entwined fingers. 

“Be honest with me Minnie… Does the domme thing scare you?” 

“No!” he blurts out. “I mean, it doesn’t scare me in the way you think.” 

“How does it scare you then?” Terse and authoritative, your demeanor shifts in an instant. “Elaborate.”  

Seungmin feels like his chest is about to burst open. He has two choices. He can either cover up his desires and hide them like he’s done for so long - push you away, and continue being miserable in the familiar way he has gotten so used to. Or, he can crack his shell for you, open up, do a trust fall and hope you catch him.  

He decides to fall. 

“It scared me because it’s something I’ve wanted for so long. I’ve been scared to talk to anyone about it.” 

“Wanted what? Use your words.” 

The dam inside him finally bursts.  

“I want to… I want to let someone else be in charge. I want somebody to tell me what to do, hold me down, fuck me, make me cry, tie me up, ANYTHING! I want to be praised, I want to be punished, I want it all! Finding out you have a past with that scared me because you’re already so beautiful, it’s intimidating. I’ve been watching you for so long and knowing now that you are a domme means I can’t... I can’t-” he chokes out, squeezing his eyes shut in embarrassment. A blush stains his cheeks, this confession burning through his entire body. 

“Can’t what?” Your voice is softer now, almost a purr. He finds you so close when he opens his eyes, he’d only have to lean up a little bit to kiss you. He starts to move towards your lips, but you pull back at the last second before he’s able to connect. You place two fingers on his chin and tenderly push him back. “Use. Your. Words.” 

“I can’t ignore how you make me feel.” 

~~~ 

You want to devour him. He looks so pathetic in the exact way you love a man to look beneath you. His nose and cheeks are pink, his eyes are wet and bright, and he looks so desperate for you. If this is how riled up you can get him without even touching him, imagine what it must be like when he’s tied down and overstimulated. You want to see him messier than he is now, begging for it. You want to see if his cock gets as red as his crying face does when he’s been edged for an hour or two. Even now, he’s leaning up towards you, hungry for a kiss - you hover just out of the way. That’s something that he’ll have to earn. 

“So, you want to submit to me?” you croon at him. “You want me to take control, make all the decisions?” 

He nods with his big wet eyes. Your hand slowly slides from his chin to the back of his head, cradling for a sweet moment before you grip onto his hair and give a quick tug. The moan that drops out of his mouth when his jaw slackens from your grasp is melodic. “What did I say about using your words?” 

“Y-yes please,” he stutters out. Your eyes appraise him, slowly raking over his form. You see the outline of his cock straining against the denim of his jeans. 

Your feelings are beating around inside your chest erratically. You haven’t indulged in your dominant disposition in such a long time, it shakes through you. The way your body reacts to him as you steer his movements speeds up your heart rate. Does he know how much you want this and how nervous you are? He’s obviously turned on, sure. But you’ve both been drinking, and this is the longest direct conversation you’ve ever had with him.  

Wait…. Is he making fun of you? You’ve watched him mess with the other guys, he’s a natural at playing the long game when it comes to the way he fucks with them. Sometimes his jokes leave a sting for others that’s hard to see coming. 

Abruptly, you lean back, disconnecting your body from his completely. He whines at the loss of you and your warmth, a panic stricken look on his face. 

“I haven’t done that in a long time, Seungmin. I don’t take this lightly and I don’t do this with just anyone. If this is a joke, tell me now.” You stand and try to calm the nerves roiling through you. 

He scrambles to his knees, catching your wrist. “N-no! Y/n, I’ve wanted this for so long.” He looks up frantically at you, grasping at you fiercely. “I would do anything for you to show me what being a submissive is really like…” 

You stare down at him, on his knees in front of you, a wide eyed yearning painted on his face. You hold his cheek again, thumb grazing over his skin as his eyes flutter closed. His lips slightly parted, he sighs into the touch. Kneeling, he’s like a sinner accepting salvation merely by your hand holding his face. A silent devotion blossoms on his face in this moment of intimacy.  

You revel in him like this, trying to burn this image into your memory. Your thumb trails over his lips, barely making contact. He turns tentatively, mouth open, and envelops your thumb in the warmth of his mouth. Rooted to the very spot, a sensual weight blooms in you, settling somewhere deep in between your thighs. His hands clutch the backs of your legs as his eyes open and find yours, eager but careful. You gasp as you feel him draw your thumb further in, sucking it into the hot velvet of his mouth, rolling his tongue around it. His eyes lock on yours, molten desire jolts down your body, heating you up from the inside. You feel like a live wire, glowing. He’s open for the taking, a gift of service and sacrifice waiting for you to grasp. His eyes narrow in a wicked grin, watching how he affects you. 

Mine.  

The thought slams through you as your thumb curls into his cheek, hooking the flesh there and gently stretching his mouth open to one side, exposing the edge of his teeth. From here, your thumb slides back into his mouth further. This subtle gesture of control - a sort of test to see how you two mesh. To your delight, Seungmin is happy to oblige, taking the digit in as far as he can into his mouth, laving his tongue on the pad on your thumb. His hands start to roam around your lower body, traveling up from your thighs and around to rest directly beneath your ass. You realize in this position that his mouth is at the exact same height as your cunt, and you clench at the thought of his tongue on you. 

“Wait - before we do anything, do you know the stoplight system?” 

He nods vigorously.  

“Yeth,” he says, remembering to use his words with your thumb still in his mouth.  

“Good.” You pop your thumb from his mouth and cradle his face in your hand. You lean into him and whisper against his lips, “Do you trust me?” 

“Yes, y/n,” he pants. “I trust you.” 

You hang there, poised above him, listening to his little whine of impatience. Watching him struggle to control himself is a marvel, you feel him start to grip your legs tighter. Those big sparkling wet eyes bore into you - you almost miss what he whispers. 

“Please, y/n-” 

~~~ 

Physically, he’s on his knees, face in your hand, captivated by how your simple gestures have him on the edge so quickly. He hasn’t gotten hard this quickly in years, he can feel his heartbeat throb between his legs. You haven’t even kissed him yet! Mentally, he is on fire, all his thoughts are both screaming and silent at the same time. You are the one thing keeping him in his body, so he feels every touch tenfold, every pull, every breath. The way you’re suspended above him now has him holding his breath, anticipating your next move. He’s never been so nervous and so ready for the unknown. 

Your lips collide with his, a tidal wave of feeling, sensual, overwhelming. Your lips are soft yet demanding, your hand in his hair guiding his head to the position you want it. There’s an ebb and flow between you two. He matches your speed, your movements, your direction. He gets lost in the feeling, letting his body react to yours, falling into that trust naturally. You’re so good at coaxing the little noises out of him that normally he’d be embarrassed by - the kind of noises that would make him clamp his hand over his mouth when he’s all alone with his fantasies. He feels himself rocking his hips back and forth, rutting against nothing, seeking any sort of friction. 

The material of your jeans slips under his fingers as his hands begin to move around your form again, trying to learn your shape. They come to rest on your waistband, hooking his fingers under to drag them down. Your hands find his, pulling them together in front of him. “If you want my pants off, you have to do it with no hands.” 

Seungmin clenches his fists and places them on the tops of his thighs, determined to keep them there. You straighten above him, hands in his hair, raking your fingers against his scalp. His shudders and his head lolls back, absolutely drunk on the bliss of your fingers. He snaps forward when he realizes there’s something he wants more - he wants you on his face, in his mouth, coming undone on his tongue.  

His mouth finds the button on your jeans, teeth and tongue fumbling to undo it. After a few attempts and one savage tug, the metal button clacks against his teeth, free from its holding. He’s quick to find the zipper next, biting down and dragging slowly, grunting with effort. This is much harder than he thought, especially without the help of his hands. The zipper finally hits the bottom, and your waistband loosens.  

One of your belt loops is the best way he can think of to pull off the main obstacle separating him from what he wants. He grabs it with his teeth and tries to tug it down, but the position he sits in makes it difficult. He tries a few more times, determined to get your pants off with his teeth, growling with frustration. You chuckle above him, watching him struggle. 

“Here, let me help,” you say, and you slide your jeans down your thighs at an excruciatingly slow pace. Seungmin trembles watching you, transfixed by your black panties. After you finally step out of your jeans and toss them to the side, you stand in front of him again. He automatically leans forward, wanting nothing more than to bury his face between your thighs. 

You place a hand on his forehead, forcing him to sit still. He whines, pressing against your hand and you laugh. Your hand trails down to his chin and you lift his face up as you swoop down for another long kiss. This one is sweeter, Seungmin can feel it wash over his whole body, all the way down to his toes. When you straighten this time, he leans forward cautiously, waiting for your command. You look down at him expectantly, and he closes the distance between his face and your cunt.  

At first, he just sits there, running his nose through the arousal that’s seeped through your panties. He’s elated to find you dripping, just as turned on as he is from all of this. He feels his cock jump in his pants, and it rubs against the seam of his jeans. Mouthing over your clothed cunt is ecstasy, Seungmin’s eyes roll to the back of his head at a taste of your essence. He can’t take it anymore, his instincts take over and he hugs your thighs. His body lifts you up as he turns to press you against the bathroom wall, his face never leaving your center. You squeak at the surprise of being handled in this way so suddenly, Seungmin is worried he messed up. He flicks his eyes up to meet yours and you’ve got a tongue in cheek grin on your face. 

“I’ll allow it this time, Minnie, but you’ll pay for that,” you lovingly threaten. He smirks up at you from between your legs. 

~~~ 

You are caught between the wall and Seungmin, making a mental note of his sudden bratty turn. He looks up at you from below, pure euphoria on his face, before clawing at the elastic of your panties, yanking them down and tearing them slightly. You swat him on the arm. 

“Whoops,” he says, not a speck of apology in his voice. 

“You’re going to have to replace those, they were some of my fav- '' but your words are cut off as he dives into your bare pussy, tongue first. This man doesn’t give you a chance to finish what you were saying - you couldn’t form a coherent sentence if you tried. The sharp tongue that he has in his conversations can be put to use in other ways given the way he’s stroking over your clit with fervor.  

His hands on your hips press you back into the wall. You whimper, urging him on as your hand grips his hair again and you rest more of your weight on his face. He looks up at you, locking eyes with you as his hand reaches behind one of your legs to lift it over his shoulder. At this angle, he gets better leverage, swirling his tongue over your clit, dipping down to your entrance to gather more of your wetness, and you start to feel an orgasm build in your lower belly. You grind into his face, sliding your cunt over his mouth, bucking your hips as the coil tightens. He cants his hips up, chasing any friction that his suffocated cock can find in his jeans, and he groans into your pussy. The vibrations of his groan resonate through the very center of you.  

You cry out as your orgasm snaps through you, the electric jolt making your muscles convulse as you ride Seungmin’s face. His eyes shoot open in shock, fingers dig into the flesh of your hips as he moans into your cunt, his hips stuttering beneath you. He’s relentless as you ride out your high on his tongue, pulling your body towards him and scrunching up his eyes as his whines reverberate into you. He doesn’t stop until you’re shaking and pushing his head away, too sensitive for any more or you’ll pass out. 

Breathless, you carefully lift your leg down from his shoulder and lean back against the wall, an exhausted smile plastered on your lips. After catching your breath, you look down. 

Seungmin has his head in his hands. He looks so defeated and you drop to your knees at once, panic pounding in your chest. He’s doubled over, hands twisting up in his hair in distress.  

“Minnie, what’s happening? Talk to me,” you keep your voice level like you learned, even though you have dread creeping into your stomach. Did you go too hard on him? Is he regretting this? Oh god, did you push him to do something he didn’t want to do? A million thoughts whizz around in your head as your anxiety builds.  

“I-” he sniffles, looking up at you slowly, red in the face and eyes welling up. “I came.” 

The bathroom is filled with a silent confusion for a split second before you say, “You came? From eating me out?” 

“I came in my pants like a fucking teenager! You didn’t even touch me!” His embarrassment is crashing through him. You gently take his hands in yours and wait until he looks at you. 

“Aw, baby, that’s okay,” you push a strand of his hair out of his eyes. “Actually, I think that’s really hot to be honest.” 

“Huh?” He looks dumbfounded. “You… think it’s hot?” 

“I mean, yeah. You were so riled up that going down on me and grinding against your jeans was enough to get you off?” You grin, a flirty edge in your voice. “You must really like me.” 

“Oh my god…” he groans. 

You pull him towards you and kiss him, tasting yourself on his tongue. He melts into you, soothed a little by your response even though his face is still bright red. You are glowing with the knowledge that he was so turned on that you riding his face overwhelmed him so much that he couldn’t stop himself from cumming right in his jeans, pride swells in your chest. 

“I think you should stay the night. We’ll sleep and then talk tomorrow.”  

Seungmin nods, still sniffling a little.  

“I’m gonna go kick the other guys out. You stay here and get cleaned up.” 

After disposing of your ripped panties and putting your jeans back on, you quietly head back out to the living room. All heads turn towards you with amused looks, waiting with bated breath. 

“Hey guys, Seungmin isn’t feeling very good, so he’s going to stay the night here. Basically, the party is over,” you can’t hide your blush as you feel every gaze take in your fucked out appearance. Your hair is a mess, your cheeks are flushed, and your eyes are a little too bright for a normal conversation. 

“I don’t know, Minnie sounded like he was feeling pretty good there a few minutes ago,” Changbin says with a smug smile. 

“Yeah, and it didn’t sound like he was the only one either,” Han leers at you, looking you up and down. 

“Fucking FINALLY,” says Felix. “I couldn’t stand how mopey he was getting about you. I’m glad you banged it out in the bathroom.” 

You’ve learned over the years to keep some composure when it comes to these kinds of situations, but your jaw still drops at Felix’s blunt comment. It’s also nice to know that Seungmin’s been thinking about you for a while. You grin sheepishly at the boys, hushing them up and gesturing to leave.  

They all start to stand and gather up their stuff, quietly snickering about what they heard.  

“Y/n, you gotta tell me…” Hyunjin comes up to you to whisper, “who was it that was making the most noise in there? Someone was having the time of their life, was it you or him?” 

You smack him lightly on the arm and laugh. “Get the fuck out of my house, Hyunjin,” you say, and toss a wink at him for good measure.  

Everyone says their goodbyes and pokes a little more fun at you. They’re all good natured and maybe you’ll spill about it later, but first you have to go take care of the fragile man sitting in your bathroom. 

~~~ 

Seungmin has never felt so happy and so awful at the same time. This was a night of firsts for him - first submissive experience, first time having someone ride his face like that, first time cumming in his pants as a full grown adult. He’s never been wound that tight during any sort of sex before, which is throwing him through a loop. The strange shame bubbling in his blood right now from premature ejaculation is hard to bear right now. What’s even more confusing is your reaction to it. You look genuinely flattered by it. He was expecting you to degrade him (not in the sexy way) and kick him out. His head was still swimming with a little inebriation, but he felt solid in all the decisions he made tonight, especially making you lose control on his face like you did. The sense of pride from that swells in his chest as the shame takes a back seat. 

He focuses on cleaning himself up for the time being. Once he hears the rest of the guys shuffle out of your apartment, he sneaks out of your bathroom and into your bedroom. It, like the rest of your place, is pretty small but comfortable. You have a queen bed in the middle of the room and there’s a nice cozy vibe to your decor. 

You knock lightly on the door before coming in. 

“Hey,” you murmur. Seungmin can sense your nerves by the way you’re standing in your own doorway. 

“Hey,” he replies. 

After a moment, you close the distance between you and Seungmin, grabbing his hands and looking up into his eyes shyly. The way you’ve switched from controlling, sexy domme to bashful and quiet makes Seungmin swoon a little. It’s nice to know that he’s not the only one reeling from your encounter and he wants to stay by you as long as you’ll let him.  

You interrupt his dreamy gaze. “I have an extra pair of shorts that will probably fit you, if you’d like.” 

“Huh? Oh, yes please.” 

“I can also throw your clothes in the wash, if you wanted to stay over.”  

He nods, not able to string more than a few words together in your presence at the moment. After he changes, he sits on your bed, waiting for you to come back and the anxiety begins to creep back in. Maybe you’re just being nice, trying to let him down easy after this one-time thing. Maybe you’re trying to cover up the fact that you actually find it embarrassing that he’s so sensitive he couldn’t control himself. He doesn’t notice when you sneak back into the room, his eyes are glued to the floor while his thoughts bounce around the place. 

You sneak up on him slowly as you move to stand in front of him as he looks up at you. Subtly, you shift to stand between his legs, hands coming up to rest on his shoulders. His arms wrap around your middle gently, almost politely. You search his face, gaze darting back and forth between his eyes since he’s so close. 

“Tell me what’s on your mind,” you say in a soft voice. 

Seungmin feels warmer with you so close, wrapped up in you and your scent. He tilts his head back, revealing the smooth column of his neck as he looks away. “You made me feel so good without even touching me, but the fact that it happened so fast is still mortifying.” Fuck, he can feel tears pricking in his eyes again. 

“Sweetie, look at me.” You say it with such soft authority that he can’t help but meet your eyes. “I loved making you feel good, regardless of how and when. You made me feel amazing too. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Your hands travel up to card through his hair, his eyes fluttering closed. “If it’s something you’re worried about, we can always work on your stamina next time.” 

His eyes open again, a renewed hope blazing in them. “Next time? There’s gonna be a next time? 

You smile, your eyes crinkling at the corners. “We can have as many ‘next times’ as you want.” 

His heart thuds in his chest as his brain catches up to what you’re implying. He leans up and captures your lips. You deepen the kiss, tongue sliding along his as your hand grips onto the back of his neck. His back finds the mattress as you lean over him, caging him in with your arms. Seungmin’s hands roam around your body, trying to learn your shape. When his hands rest your ass with a light squeeze, you slowly roll off of him. 

“For now, let’s just sleep. We can talk tomorrow about what we need for next time.” You pull him towards your body, snuggling close, hand drifting up his shirt possessively. He shivers at your touch and melts into your embrace. He drifts off with you enveloping him, physically and emotionally, and dreams of what next time will be like. 

[stormxpadme]

Fanfic Writer Asks:

5, 10, 17, 29

"I’m Bored and Anxious So I Slapped Together a List of Fan Fic Writer Asks"

5 - What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

I'm notoriously not a huge fan of Mr. Sinister because it's just one of these things Marvel Comics has done to death, and guy's hopelessly overpowered. So aside from like 2 short oneshots, I never utilized him in my X-Men stories and my X-Men main verse.

But lately I've been thinking about a very meta kind of oneshot which arose from an Alternative Universe story for my X-Men verse that I did a while ago. A oneshot that included - and those scenes were very much part of my canon and not AU - some flashbacks of when movieverse!Scott was Essex' lab rat as a kid. That story also elaborated on how Essex has kept on meddling subtly, telepathically with Scott's life in the course of the years. In that official X-Men verse of mine, Essex has been put on ice deep under the ocean by Charles and Emma shortly before Scott came to Charles as a teenager and is mostly rendered powerless. But I like to think, very subtly, even at what is basically a coma, Essex still has a bit of influence on the real world. And of course he's never given up on the plan of creating his mutant super race and that perfect fabricated mutant child for his own uses. Since he did know somehow though, that his plan would never work as intended with Scott and Jean - cue Destiny coming in, in some way ... Bear with me, this whole thing is not finished beign plotted -, Essex decided to give Logan and Jean as his favorite parents a shot since those would be just an equally powerful combination of genes. Long story short - literally -, this would be basically the reason of why my whole version of the old X-Men movieverse happened in the end, with Essex' subtle manipulations making sure, Scott and Jean gave up on their relationship after Liberty Island because of several issues and because of Jean's attraction to Logan, not least by making sure, Scott had someone else he was attracted to and was basically out of the way of Jean's and Logan's spawn in the making. This oneshot would basically be nothing but a legitimation for writing my verse that I don't need because everything Marvel is multiverse and everything's possible and legit. So I don't really think I'm ever gonna write this, not least because I'm just not interested in doing anything longer with Essex. And I don't want to undermine what Scott and his wifey and Jean and Logan have in that verse by retconning it into something manipulated by an outsider. But the simple idea of Essex literally throwing in the face of Scott's partner for decades at this point, that she's nothing but a badly fabricated plot device? Ouch, here comes the pain. Maybe I'll do something like a vague nightmare about that thing at some point as part of a bigger story but really writing it out? Nah. I'm only that masochistic by proxy for my characters.

10 - Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

Honestly with how silent fandom has become in terms of feedback, it's mostly surprise these days that there's hardly any response at all (the person sending this ask being one of the few exceptions to regularly save my day). Because every now and then I do write popular themes and somewhat popular characters and think, well, this should get some response at least. Alas. I also was slightly taken aback by the reaction of a reader to one of the rare torture/non con scenes I wrote and published lately because it felt a bit like victim blaming. Which like. Just no.

17 - What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?

After writing my fictional season of American Idol, I know more about the TV and casting show business (especially about how many celebs can't even get out of bed without their first line of coke in the morning) than I ever wanted to know.

29 - Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic.

I'll cheat a bit here and take that fic I mentioned above because I'm never gonna post it on AO3; as of now, it's only in our German archive. The reason for that is that I got exactly one single active reader there, and that reader fell in love with a romance in my X-Men verse that got hardly any to zero response on AO3. And since that oneshot is an Alternative Universe version to my X-Men verse, spawning from the AU idea of that romance getting a happy instead of a horrible ending, meaning, something that I wrote only for said reader for her to be happy, it wouldn't make sense, translating it and putting it on AO3. I still very much like the parts I mentioned though that are canon for my regular verse too, because sometimes I really need a bit of Scott childhood drama in my life.

Just as a preface for understanding: Avery is an OC of mine, an old childhood friend-turned-enemy of Scott's with whom he's lived together on the streets as a teenager for a while. In this scene, Emma is taking Scott and Avery together into some shared memories in their heads because they're looking for a mental signature to follow, to go where Essex has been buried who is about to wake from his coma.

“What …? How …?” “I guess that's what we're here to find out.” Emma squeezed Avery's shoulder once more and then pointed back to the lab area, where a heavy double door opened after the clicking of several locks and the beeping of a code access entered. Even though neither of them really cared to see these particular memories … They had to find out. Otherwise, all this shit would soon be a reality all over the world. With his fists clenched hard, Avery looked at the white-skinned guy, even taller than Scott and himself, who entered the room with a cheerful whistle - some French classic - on his lips, pushing a trolley with various instruments in front of him, the sight of which promptly had Avery's stomach turn again. Instinctively, his fingertips wandered back to the fresh burn on his neck, that characteristic scar which he saw reflected in blood-red on that asshole's forehead right now. Indeed, a more than clear branding as the new property of this psycho. As if. Only in the bastard's wet dreams. By now, Avery didn't even have the strength to tell himself that he didn't care that the defenseless body on that stretcher had begun to tremble noticeably since Essex's memory image had entered the room, or that he was already choking with nausea again himself when that psycho made short work of the only piece of clothing on his victim's body with an impatient telekinetic touch. “Hm.” A discontented-sounding grumble came from the stranger, from a voice about as pleasant as nails on a slate, as he looked at a few numbers on a monitor belonging to the stretcher, obviously spitting out the various results of freshly measured vital signs. “Low potassium and blood pressure again. What did I tell you, Scott? With how tall you're growing recently, I can't have you being a picky eater. If you keep starving yourself, we can solve this very quickly with a feeding tube. I don't want to have to repeat myself. Or do you want me to have to track down Alex and lock him up here instead of you just because you're being so difficult? I don't want that because your mutation is much more promising, but if you don't finally learn how to behave, you'll leave me no choice. Understood?” As there was no response from his young victim, Essex tapped the tip of a scalpel demonstratively against a spot directly on the right hip bone, which was already adorned with a huge Band-aid, with a theatrical sigh. “Yes, sir.” The tonelessness in this choked reply had Avery inevitably take a step back against the wall, away from this alienating scene. No prisoner, no matter which age, who had been subjected to such treatment for only a few days would be talking like that.

[bodyfeels]

feeling emo and sentimental... i'm gonna share my new years resolutions... i already talked about them on peach but i might as well share here too... kinda long though but i think i'll make a tldr at the end

become face and body neutral - like throughout these last few months i took selfies and nudes of myself and i feel like by doing that i got more neutral towards how i look. like idk nothing gets done feeling so negatively about yourself. the selfies thing was honestly to also find my angles HAJSDFHSAF but also i'd like to take selfies better too. as for the nudes part like idk i think i will be keeping all that to myself but it's the same idea for my face i suppose, i look good and i feel neutral. i dont have to edit a selfie or a nude for my skin to be smoother or whatever like i look fine and i can just exist like Relax... also my cheeks are becoming rounder YES GOD!!!!

work out more - well i've already been working out anyways and this year i'm happy because i got to improve my core strength a bit so that's good. i do it so that way my back is not in pain and same goes for my legs so YAAAY for not being in pain

cook more - i've been very on and off about this....like heinously HJASHDFJASF uhm something that got me back into cooking though is fried rice like that will never fail me and this time i really got it down so YAAAS... i'd like to cook more in the future and get better at it... btw i dont think i talked about it but i got a new rice cooker and it is very good like yes god!!

play and clear my video games - i've been playing ff7r mainly lately and recently for christmas i bought project diva x on the ps4 on sale... i'd like to own a physical version of that game someday but everywhere is selling it for full price or whatever like i'm not paying that much for a flop game... well anyways i'd just like to play more beyond my silly mobile games and perhaps i'll even play MMOs... but i'd like to play the games i have on the consoles i have (psp, psvita, ps3/4, etc.) and just finish them or revisit others

animate more - okay i only really started doing that this year because of oomf's birthday and hatsune miku's birthday but i'd like to make more... i do have a lot of ideas but that all requires me to finish my 3d models speaking of which...

model more - i already kinda talked abuot this on my art blog but i did Technically model more compared to last year, only 3 models in 2022, this year i made 6... whoa... well i guess the amount doesn't really matter but i would like to really just practice more, finish projects, and let my 3d models come to life through my renders and animations

listen to more music - i already mentioned on my 12 tracks for 2023 post but i listen to music as a small way to engage with history. i started in 2022 and it's been a really fun journey listening to all this music and there's so much out there too.

gif more and possibly get into archiving? - ok i picked up gif making this year, i used to do them back in like... high school or whatever but then i just stopped. but then i realized this was a really good way of archiving. i'd like to actually scan things like scanning this yoshitaka amano artbook i have or even the f7d artbooks since that game is more than likely going to close this year...but i dont have a machine that scans and technically i could just take a silly picture off of my phone but idk i dont think it's the same. maybe one day but other wise i'll probably just stick with gif making

so basically it's just me keeping up with the stuff i've done recently or have been doing. unfortunately as of writing this i feel sad and maybe it's because i don't want this day to pass and for a new year to start but it will anyways whether i like it or not... le sigh...

anyways happy new years eve hope this new year will be better for everybody

[mommyashtoreth]

do you have any fic recs (besides your own, ik theyre good) because i know you surely have impeccable taste

GREAT question I've actually been hoping to get an ask like this recently lol. Uhh full disclosure most of the fic I read is porn, most of it being Weird Porn, mostly bc gomens is just So fucking popular that finding fic for it is kind of a slog and I can only find manageable amounts of fic to work through by looking for weird porn. I'm gonna try to NOT post just nsfw art also I can actually read I'll give you words

Okay this is SO basic I'm sure all of you are huge oopsieheads but like this was The First Fan Thing I actually got invested in which is a big deal for me because I got shit to do in my life. I have just, like, massive appreciation for how so much of the dialogue is carried over. Angelcrowley WOULD still say Well that went down like a lead balloon. And no one seems to realize this but this comic does. Big fan

Alright I've lulled you in far enough this one is porn. And it is REALLY good porn like mindblowingly good porn. I love when people work within the fantasy setting and actually do something interesting with it, and having them throw each other across the room for sex purposes is awesome I mean it. Also long live male pussy

Gotta log in for these sorry but this is a series I've become kind of obsessed with oops. I cannot get ENOUGH of "what if Aziraphale was also girlmoding at the Dowling residence" it's what we should've had all along I'm sorry. I love you women, I love you lesbians, I love you Nanny Ashtoreth always and forever. Also like these are FUNNY which is weirdly hard for me to find? Like lest you forget gomens is a comedy and these are comedy characters. There's just a lot of fun cute and yeah hot sexy stuff in these. I haven't finished the second part of the series yet but I Do think Crowley gets clocked which DOES suck and IS bad but also is extremely funny I'm sorry. Everyone hated her for being a clocky broad it's inescapable. I need to have straight-passing nonbinary sex with her so bad

HERE is the like "weirdest" porn I'll share in this post. It is, yet again, "what if Aziraphale was also in girlmode and then she and Crowley had a bunch of freaknasty sex." Every work in the series also comes with art, which contains, if I may be so blunt, some of the most lusciously rendered angel pussy I have ever come across in my travels. If you're into any of the kinks listed (mostly discipline stuff) it's good. It's really good. I'm sure no one knows this about me but vaguely "domestic," disciplinary dom girlcrowley? Very good. Huge fan

Aaaand that's my library for now unfortunately. Can't really think of anything else rn sorry </3 I am always open to fic recs btw, like I said it's hard for me to find stuff on my own. I'm especially partial to well-written girlmode stuff (not too much cisgender nonsense, basically) and stuff that's like actually funny. I love banter, I love jokes, I think that's like the number one way to show understanding of the source material. Also it's fun for me. So if anyone has any recs u know where to find me

[jacqthehermit-navigation]

ART RELATED

Do you take commissions/requests/art trades/collabs?

Only from my loved ones depending on my free time. But generally no.

Where did you learn to draw?

Even though I came from a family of artists, I am actually self-taught. I wasn't able to go to an art school like I've always wanted. I mostly learned from watching cartoons and animes.

When did you start drawing?

Ever since childhood.

I used to draw traditionally. When I started posting my art online back in 2008, I drew on paper, scanned it then colored it on Photoshop using my mouse.

I went full digital in 2013 after saving up and buying my first pen tablet (Wacom Bamboo Pen & Touch 3rd Gen).

Who are your favorite artists?

Stanley "Artgerm" Lau, Masashi Kishimoto and Kubo Tite.

What do you use to draw?

Pen Tablet:

Wacom Intuos Pro Small

Software:

Paint Tool Sai for drawing

Photoshop for rendering

Kinemaster for video editing

Can you explain your brush settings?

Most of my brush settings are default. The others are from random artists that I watched and liked so I decided to use them too. I've been using these settings for a long time now and I can't remember the last time I added or changed something.

If you are looking for an artist to explain "what's this and that for" regarding brush settings then unfortunately it's not me. You can copy my settings if you liked them though.

Can I copy your art style?

You can use my art style as a guide but please don't copy it from A-Z. Add your own personal touch and twist as much as you can.

Can you give me art tips?

This is from my 2022 art ramblings:

Whenever artists wanna try something new to improve their art, we tend to make big drastic changes right away. This can be effective for others but not for everyone. As you can see, my art style is still the same as last year with minimal tweaks.

I decided that if I’m gonna make improvements, I’m gonna do it gradually instead of incorporating them all at once. This can be a big help in maintaining consistency. If the changes were small, we can easily remember and apply them on our next artwork.

I may now have more confidence with regards to my art compared to before but I am still not confident enough in giving/teaching art tips to people. Most of the time I am just winging my art and I personally feel like it's not right to impart that type of "knowledge" to others lmao. There are a lot of experienced artists on different platforms and you can easily search for their tutorials and advices.

Can I use your art for my profile pic?

As long as it's for personal use, you are free to use my art (icons, profile picture, wallpapers, etc). Please credit me if you can.

IMPORTANT: Do not edit, crop, trace or alter my art in any way, shape or form.

Can I share your artwork on other sites?

Artworks:

I am against reposting. I have an account in almost all platforms so you guys don't need to repost them. Just reblog/retweet/share them directly from the original post.

Note: If the artwork I made was from a very, very small fandom then I mostly allow reposting so it can reach more people. You just need to ask permission first and put proper credits.

Videos:

No. Do not repost/reupload my videos specially on Tiktok.

How long does it take you to finish an artwork?

Artworks:

I mostly do single cel shading nowadays to speed up my process. It takes me 1-3 days to finish depending on how many characters and how detailed the artwork is.

Videos:

I usually make 1 video a month but if I'm more energetic, I can make 2-3 videos.

How can I support you as an artist?

Youtube ➔ Like, comment, share and subscribe

Instagram ➔ Save, share, comment and like

Twitter ➔ Retweet, like and comment

Tumblr ➔ Reblog, like and comment

Kofi ➔ Any amount is appreciated

[thompsborn]

Happy FFWF! Care to share a bit of/about what you've got in the works? An excerpt, an impassioned ramble, whatever you want

okay so this is a rough draft. like a ROUGH rough draft. like more of a concept scene where i'm just putting down ideas for how i want to write this fic while i plot out the actual fic and then i'll come back to this and see if i can work it into the real thing. but i still love it.

i've been wanting to do a storm chasers au for so long it's actually insane because i am a fucking huge weather nerd and i've already answered a ffwf ask rambling way too much about tornadoes and shit before (which you can find here if you wanna read it) so i won't do that here but just know i definitely could go on about it for a very long time but for context: storm chasers au.

here we go.

-

He's so absorbed in the video that he doesn't notice her standing there. At least, he doesn't notice until he feels someone kick at his ankle, managing to hit him right on the bone and making him hiss in pain as he whips his head up to glare at her.

She gives him a pointed look. With a huffed out sigh, he reaches up to tug his headphones off and asks an aggravated, "What?"

"Jesus," Michelle says, rolling her eyes as she plops herself into the chair across from her, looking mostly amused and a little bit confused. "Don't bite my head off, Parker. You're the one who asked me to meet you here." He slumps back in his seat, offering her a small apologetic smile, which she responds with with a half hearted shrug before eyeing his laptop warily. "Are you gonna tell me what's going on? Or maybe why I'm here in the first place?"

Immediately, he brightens, shoulders straightening as he leans forward. "Okay," he says, already reaching forward to spin his laptop around in order to show her the screen. "So, Ned and I found this video last night, and then we found out the guy who posted it has, like, ten other videos, and I've been watching them all day, and there are so many things I want to tell you about them, but just - look."

Curiosity overshadows that wariness as she leans closer, bringing up a hand to press play before watching with a furrow to her brows. It only takes a few moments before that furrow disappears, eyebrows instead shooting up, nearly disappearing behind the hair falling over her forehead, glancing over to Peter with slightly wide eyes. "That's..."

"Absolutely mind blowing," he finishes. "It's insane. And that person did it on purpose. Like, in the descriptions for his videos it says that he's working on getting a masters degree in meteorology, so he's either our age or, like, barely older than us, which makes sense because when you listen he sounds pretty young, and he's chasing after these massive supercells like they're nothing."

"Impressive," she murmurs, eyes returning to the screen once again, even more attentive as she watches. "

Peter nods, the action way too energetic for six fourty seven in the morning - he reaches for his coffee, but starts talking before he can take a drink, rendering the action useless. "Impressive doesn't even begin to cover it, especially if he really is our age. There's another video that I was watching earlier where he spotted a pretty strong rotation less than a mile away from him and drove until he was practically under the damn thing, which was honestly kind of stupid 'cause it could have turned into something pretty big and dangerous, you know? But he just kept saying that it was fine and that he had time before it was on the ground, and he drove off, like, a minute before the actual tornado fully formed. Whoever this guy is, he's not just smart, but he's clearly got plenty of experience being around these storms to make these incredible educated guesses about them, which is even more impressive considering how unpredictable they're capable of being. I'm a little bit obsessed, not gonna lie."

At that, Michelle looks away from the laptop, this time turning to Peter with something knowing and suspicious mixing together in her eyes. Cautiously, she asks him, "What did you do?"

"I..." Peter trails off, already looking sheepish, not even trying to hide the fact that he did anything at all. Averting his gaze, he takes a long drink from his coffee, glances back at her, and looks away again before reluctantly admitting, "I might have sent him an email. At, like, two thirty in the morning. And he might have already responded. His name is Harley, by the way."

Michelle sighs, shaking her head. "Of course you did."

[aion-rsa]

Midnight Mass Ending Explained

https://ift.tt/39I2zkp

This article contains spoilers for Midnight Mass.

Ending a horror story is hard.

Perhaps no one knows that better than Mike Flanagan, the writer-director behind horror hits like Doctor Sleep, The Haunting of Hill House, and The Haunting of Bly Manor. After observing the occasional less-than-enthusiastic reaction to the endings of some of his other projects, Flanagan decided to end his latest, Netflix series Midnight Mass, on his own terms.

“I didn’t want to come up with an ending that I thought would please people,” Flanagan told Den of Geek and other outlets prior to Midnight Mass’s premiere. “I wanted to come up with the ending that would have the most to say down the line.”

So what, exactly, does the ending of Midnight Mass have to say? Let’s explain just what goes down in the conclusion of Midnight Mass and assess what it all means. 

What’s Up with Mildred Gunning and John Pruitt?

Monsignor John Pruitt a.k.a. Father Paul (Hamish Linklater) was, by all indications, a good Christian man. 

“The thing we kept coming back to is that authentically, through-and-through evil people are very rare. We’re all way more complicated. The humanity of Father Paul was something that was baked in relatively early,” Flanagan says.

Though Pruitt is not a bad man, per se, he is a deeply flawed one. A long time ago, before the “war” (probably World War II or The Korean War), Pruitt hooked up with the married Mildred Gunning and fathered their daughter Sarah Gunning out of wedlock. That is obviously a big no-no for a priest and Pruitt lived with the guilt of denying his daughter for decades. 

Pruitt finally got a chance to alleviate that guilt when he came across a curious creature in Damascus. In this fictional universe where the concept of a vampire is clearly not well known, John Pruitt made the understandable mistake of confusing a monstrous vampire for an equally monstrous angel. After all, the angels of the bible are so visually terrifying that they make a habit of telling those they visit “be not afraid.” 

Pruitt thought this angel had granted him the gift of eternal life, just like the Bible promises. He then decides to share that gift with his congregation. The priest’s major sin here though is pride. He didn’t share the angel’s gift with his congregation out of pure benevolence. He did it because he wanted many more years of life in his prime with Mildred and Sarah at his side. Catholicism means everything to Pruitt. And yet, he would cast it all aside for another chance to have the family he wanted. 

“If you showed up and asked me, I would have taken this collar off and gone with you. Gone with you anywhere in the world,” Pruitt tells Mildred after she’s been vampirified. 

That’s a touching sentiment from the artist formerly known as Father Paul but it’s unfortunately a destructive one.

“When it became clear that Paul could do bad things with pure motives, the show came into clearer focus. There’s only one character in the whole show who I think is evil and it’s not Father Paul,” Flanagan says.

Only one character who is evil? Who could Flanagan be referr….ohhh.

What Were the Vampires’ Plans?

Flanagan actually never confirms which character he sees as evil, but Bev Keane (Samantha Sloyan) seems to be the best fit…unless we count the angel, and he just seems to be a hungry, growing boy.

Bev is, let’s say, a real piece of work. As beautifully depicted by Sloyan, Bev Keane is the officious church lady who can’t keep her nose out of other people’s business. After Mildred talks some sense into John Pruitt, he understands that he and his congregation “are the wolves” and refuses to participate further. That leaves a power vacuum at the top, which Bev is more than happy to step into. 

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Now that Bev has a veritable army of superpowered vampires what does she intend to do with them? The same thing that all Bevs want to do: make more Bevs. Bev represents the worst of colonial Christianity and its historical penchant for converting all to its kingdom of heaven…through any means necessary.

When Erin Greene (Kate Siegel) finds out that Bev and friends have merely disabled the boats and not destroyed them, she realizes that their ultimate plan is to eventually take their vampire party to the mainland and create a whole planet of enlightened Christians who just happy to have an insatiable taste for blood and a severe UV-ray allergy. 

What Happens to Crockett Island?

Thankfully, Bev’s ultimate goal never comes to pass thanks to the careful plotting of the handful of human beings left in Crockett Island. Erin Greene, Sarah Gunning (Annabeth Gish), Sheriff Hassan (Rahul Kohli), and Annie Flynn (Kirstin Lehman) get to work on finishing the destruction that Bev started.

Ironically, it’s part of Bev’s plan that eventually dooms her and her kind. When one of Bev’s lackeys proposes putting out a fire that the human crew started because the whole island could burn to nothing like in ‘84, Bev’s eyes light up.

“I mean…the church didn’t burn in ‘84,” she says.

Surely this is Revelation. And Revelation means a hale mixed with fire and blood. There will be a flood of fire that ends the world and St. Patrick’s church will be the arc. That’s a great plan and all…as long as something doesn’t happen to the arc.

Welp. Sarah Gunning burns down St. Patrick’s and Sheriff Hassan and Erin Greene (with an assist from Hassan’s son) burn down the rec center. As if burning a church designated as an arc wasn’t symbolically compelling enough, recall that the rec center next to it is equally as symbolic of Bev’s greed. It was Bev who convinced Crockett Island to take the oil company’s money for ruining their island rather than pursuing litigation. And all they got out of that settlement money was that stupid rec center.

With the church and the rec center gone, there are no man-made structures for the vampires to hide from the sun in the coming morning. And that’s how an entire island of 120-ish vampires perishes simultaneously when the sun rises. 

Why Do Leeza and Warren Survive? 

All of Crockett Island perishes save for two actually. Warren Flynn (Igby Rigney) and Leeza Scarborough (Annarah Cymone) are spared thanks to some quick thinking. Putting the only two remaining non-vampirized children in harm’s way is not an option for Erin, Sarah, Hassan, and Annie. Thankfully, Warren knows of one secret canoe to reach the “Uppards” that Bev’s crew wouldn’t know about. 

The canoe doesn’t take Warren and Leeza to the mainland but it does get them away from the carnage to come. The last shot of the series is Warren and Leeza floating peacefully and Leeza announcing that she can no longer feel her legs. This means that the last bit of “angel” blood has likely left her system and with it Pruitt’s vampire legacy is over. 

Saving Warren and Leeza has practical, emotional implications for Midnight Mass’s characters but it also has some symbolic ones as well. The concept of witnessing and witnesses themselves are very important in the Bible. As a second-hand text (though purportedly with every word inspired by God) there would be no gospel without witnesses. Good news is only half the battle. Someone to witness and report on the good news is the other half. Now Warren and Leeza can report on the ultimate good news that the world is saved.

The fact that the kids survive while the adults succumb to their own adult nonsense has some major implications for Midnight Mass’s creator 

“That last moment of the next generation looking out at the ashes of what the grown ups made – that’s what my kids are gonna get no matter what,” Flanagan says. “That’s what all of our kids are gonna get. I wish it wasn’t as on fire as it it. But it really is. We’re never going to be able to explain adequately to our children what happened to the planet they inherited.”

What Happens to the Angel?

With all of Crockett Island burned to the ground, the world’s vampire nightmare is over, right? Well that depends on how well you think an angel can fly with torn wings. No, that’s not an aphorism or a poem, it’s the real question facing the end of Midnight Mass.

As if saving Warren and Leeza and upending Bev Keane’s plans weren’t enough, Erin leaves one last little gift for humanity before she dies. While the angel attacks her and drinks her sweet, sweet blood, Erin begins systematically, yet carefully cutting holes in its leathery wings. At first the angel is kind of annoyed but his hunger supersedes any level of discomfort or pain he’s feeling. 

Later on, while Warren and Leeza watch their home burn they see the angel flying away but in a halted, loopy pattern. The kids aren’t sure if the beast will have time to find shelter before the sun rises. According to Flanagan, if Midnight Mass is a parable (and he assures us it is) then the ultimate lesson of all this isn’t too hard to glean. 

“The angel doesn’t represent vampirism or horror but corruption in any belief system,” he says. “It represents fundamentalism and fanaticism. That’s never gonna go away. You might chase it away from your community for a minute. You might send it off to the sunrise and hope that that corrupting ideology will disappear. But it won’t. And the show could never show the angel die for that reason.”

With that in mind, the angel’s flawed flight pattern isn’t so much Inception’s spinning top but rather a promise that evil will find a way. And then we puny human beings will just have to find a way to stop it all over again. If that’s not Biblical then we don’t know what is.

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All seven episodes of Midnight Mass are available to stream on Netflix now.

The post Midnight Mass Ending Explained appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[boydidthatgowell]

the two times ethan yelled at mark and the one time mark yelled back

requested: no

pairings: amyiplier, platonic crankiplier

summary: ethan begins to over think and doubt his abilities to meet mark's expectations after he notices how quickly tyler learned to edit. he expressed his emotions in an unhealthy way, in the end, mark is there to reassure ethan that he is good enough.

this takes place in february of 2017

shit shit shit

ethan was on the brink of a meltdown.

the editing program had crashed before he could save the file. and when he opened the project after restarting the monitor, the gameplay timeline had removed all of the splits and zooms. this meaning: nothing was lined up. the gameplay was longer than the actual facecam video.

ethan could feel his heart begin to sink. out of everything that could have happened, this was the worst.

after tyler's first edit, ethan thought that if he perfected the video that mark assigned him, he could prove to mark that he was worth keeping around, that he didn't deserve to be replaced.

something that ethan learned that day, is that apparently the type of monitor he used didn't work well when rushed. evidence being that the second he started rushing to check if there were any old copies in the auto save folder, everything froze.

everything.

the mouse, the keyboard, the entire system just ... stopped.

and of course, there was no use in worrying about it. to his knowledge, there was nothing he could do to fix it. the situation should have been fairly easy to explain to mark, amy and kathryn.

... should have been.

it was about the time that ethan was going under the desk to unplug the mouse and keyboard when mark and tyler walked up the stairs, coming from the main room.

tyler stopped mid - sentence when he saw ethan. yet, he wasn't the first one to speak.

"hey man? did something happen?" mark questioned, walking towards the desk and crouching down.

ethan was startled, he whipped his head around to see a confused mark and tyler's legs. he couldn't quite see all of tyler since he was still under the desk.

ethan crawled out from under the desk, unable to explain himself. mark stood with him, face to face.

"what happened?" mark repeated, crossing his arms nonchalantly.

" ... uhm, okay, so everything was fine!! i was close to rendering it and the video was perfect, you would have absolutely loved it, but, but it uhm, it crashed!! everything went down and when i went back into post, i tried to see if there were ... if there were any auto saved copies because all of the splits had been removed for whatever reason but when i went to check for copies, it all froze!! everything!! i'm honestly so sorry i don't know what to do and it's just so ... i'm so sorry, mark. this is one hundred percent on me and i promise i’ll fix it somehow."

mark smiled in a bewildered manner and cocked his head, "ethan, it's fine man. it wasn't your fault, no need for stress. how can i help?” he offered, uncrossing his arms and shooting an empathetic expression at ethan.

“i don’t ... i don’t need help, mark,” ethan plopped himself back into the white chair, pressing restart on the computer for the third time, “i have it under control, it’s ... everything’s fine!!”

the harsh tone caught the other two off guard, given, this was ethan ... ethan never raised his voice unless he was kidding around or excited about something. mark shared a similar concerned look with tyler, and opened his mouth to say something before he was interrupted by ethan’s trail/mumble of nonsense that sounded something like: 

“it’s okay, it’s okay. the video should be done within the next couple of hours if i can get this damn thing working again.”

ethan sighed briefly as he was finally able to type his password in again and the system began to gradually come back to life. he soon became fixated on replacing the cuts that had been mysteriously trashed.

“ ... alright, man. if you need anything, tyler will be at my desk. i have to run up to best buy for another memory card ... for the uh ... the live stream on friday.” there was no point in mark wasting his breath, as ethan wasn’t paying an ounce of attention to what was being said.

tyler mouthed something to mark, and mark gave a reassuring nod towards him, gesturing at the youngest of the three.

------

thursday, eight fourty seven in the morning.

amy, mark and kathryn were all in the parking lot, chatting about preparation of the upstairs office, booting up the power strips and marking things off the checklist for the charity live that would be happening the next day.

“wait, why ... why is ethan’s car here? he usually comes in at nine fifteen.” kathryn pointed and chuckled at the dark blue four door sitting at the end of the lot.

mark approached the front door and pulled his keys out of his pocket, “it seems it’s unlocked, too.” mark ignored kathryn’s observation and huffed. “the door?” amy felt the need to clarify.

no one clarified though.

the girls dropped their bags at the front of the bottom floor, making their way to the right of the building to gather camera equipment to move it to the computer room.

mark didn’t follow, though. he calmly walked up the stairs, and to no one’s surprise, ethan sat at his work space, clicking away at some video timeline. the lights were off, so the only thing illuminating ethan’s face was his screen. mark didn’t even bother circling around the railing. he stood on the second to top step and rested his elbows on the white rail, holding three to - go cups in one of those cup carrier thingies.

“morning.” mark stated, more to get ethan’s attention than anything. “oh, good morning!! weird, i uh ... i didn’t even ... come in ... hear you - hear you come in.” ethan smiled half - heartedly. he pulled sweater paws over his hands and  tiredly rubbed his glassy eyes, adjusting to the morning light spilling through the windows. mark sighed and furrowed his eyebrows, finishing that last step and walking over to where ethan was seated. the older male reached over the younger one’s shoulder and dangled one of the cups to the left of ethan’s face.

“here, coffee, bud.”

ethan blinked through the sleepiness, “hey!! thanks mark.” he yawned mid - sentence.

mark set the cup reserved for tyler on the table in the center of the room, taking a cautious sip of his own coffee. he, at last, dropped his bag at the foot of his desk and leaned against it, practically sitting on it. he observed the obviously exhausted boy as he hurried to render a section of the project he was working on. ethan shook his head dramatically and spun his chair towards the one standing, “so!! did you get the chance to check your business email this morning? i sent you the finalized video that i exported yesterday evening. i was gonna have you review it and give me some feedback? i was just curious if you’d gotten it yet because i worried it would’ve had some trouble getting to you because of the computer problems yesterday that did get worked out, by the way - “

“and by yesterday evening you mean a quarter past four o’clock this morning, right?”

ethan shut his mouth quickly, turning his attentiveness near his screen once more, “ ... mhm.” he bit his tongue, shifting it around his mouth a bit.

mark really didn’t have the energy to watch a stressed ethan ramble, it was a pain for both of them. he liked to think he’d known ethan long enough to pick up on the fact that if ethan was hiding something, no matter what it may be, he’d purposely talk a lot to cover it up.

mark sipped at his beverage again, twisting the cup in his hand, “did you sleep at all last night?”

ethan pepped up his attitude slightly, “no, but you can get so much done if you don’t sleep. it’s fine, it’s not like i’ve been up for three days straight.” he chuckled lightly, scanning his eyes over the fourth bar in the timeline, double checking subtitle checkpoints.

mark stopped his meaningless hand motions and squinted. he clicked his tongue, “but you have.”

ethan frustratingly lifted his hands from the keyboard and folded them under his chin, turning his neck to look up at mark, “i’m sorry?”

mark placed his half empty coffee cup on the edge of his desk and placed his hands back on the surface, using it for balance, “almost every file, email, whatever, that i’ve received from you in the past ... not only three days, but almost week, i’m pretty sure, has come in at anywhere from one to five a.m. i’m not saying you haven’t slept in a week, but if you’re sending me messages in the dead hours of night, and then spending ... what? eleven? twelve hours a day here at the office ... when do you have time to sleep?”

ethan couldn’t speak. he’d been called out. there was nothing else to it.

“no, really ethan, tell me. i want to know. tell me when you have time to sleep.” mark pushed, raising his eyebrows, watching as ethan’s eyelids drooped.

“like ... seven to nine. usually. sometimes less.” he muttered, not bothering to make eye contact.

“two hours?”

ethan huffed angrily, “yes!! jesus fuck, mark, yes. yes. i have a horrible sleep routine. but look, man!! i’m here, right? i’m alive ... right? great!! no reason to fucking worry.”

i will make mark proud of me. i will complete more projects than tyler will ever even be able to comprehend. he won’t replace me. i’m a great editor.

ethan’s hands were practically shaking, and he hadn’t even had any of his coffee yet. however, he removed his hands from his face and hovered them over his keyboard again, thinking about what he was going to do before clicking the tab button a few times.

mark groaned in a fed - up manner and reached out to use his foot to drag ethan’s chair towards him.

“mark, what’re you - “

mark placed both of his hands on either arms of the seat, trapping the younger one and looking down at him, “first of all, do not raise your voice with me in my office. secondly, i need you to go home.”

ethan gritted his teeth, “you what?”

“i need you to go home and sleep or i need you to sleep on the couch. you will not work today.”

“you’re being ridiculous, just let me - “ ethan attempted to push himself back towards his work space. the attempt failed terribly, though, as mark just gripped the seat tighter, “you will not work today, ethan. that is an order. as your boss, i am telling you that you will take a nap today, and you will not work again until i see that you’re well rested. do you understand?”

“i don’t need a nap, i can push through it.” ethan protested, choosing to fixate his stare at mark’s torso rather than his face.

“do you understand me, ethan?” mark repeated, uplifting his eyebrows and making his voice quieter, yet clear somehow.

ethan thought for multiple seconds and gave up. he wasn’t going to win this argument, no matter how badly he wanted to. mark was his boss, and he couldn’t risk losing his job when that was the last thing he needed. he shut his eyes momentarily and nodded, “yeah. okay.”

mark grinned approvingly, “thank you,” he let go of his grasp on ethan’s chair and stood up straight, “there should be a blanket on the couch ... the yellow one.” he watched as ethan pushed himself from his spot and weakly trudged to the couch, where he collapsed. within minutes, he was out like a light.

------

ethan fluttered his eyelashes, chatter awakening him.

“hi tyler!!” was all he could hear faintly. at first, he was sort of confused and his mind was cloudy with exhaustion. a few seconds after becoming aware of where he was and what had happened, he rubbed his forehead and sat up on one elbow. he glanced around the room, no one was on the second floor other than him.

what time is it ...

he glanced over to the wall clock.

two p.m.

it was two p.m.

he had wasted five hours of precious work time, all because mark had ordered him to.

i should have argued more.

he shot up off the couch swiftly, barely making it to his computer in two steps. he desperately slid his mouse around the mouse pad, remembering he hadn’t actually shut his computer off, and just let it fall into sleep mode. the first page to pop up was the file folder for all of the projects he was in charge of. he sped through all of them until he found the one he’d been working on that morning. he needed to finish it before lunch so he could start working on a markiplier makes around four p.m.

just his luck, lunch was an hour and a half prior to when he’d woken up.

great, i’m behind.

“oh, you’re awake.” amy’s voice lingered.

ethan whipped around to the top of the stairs to see amy, mark and tyler close behind, “y ... yep!! i feel great, and, uhm ... i’m working on getting this sketch rendered and finalized by four, and then the markiplier makes should be finished by around - tonight. tonight, it’ll be done.” ethan smiled, unknowingly why he did. all of his actions at that moment were kind of involuntary anyways, given, he had just come from a semi - deep slumber.

“right, that’s fine. take your time with it, bud. tyler just got here to help us set up and sort cords and power strips into sections so we’re prepared for tomorrow morning. kathryn just went to the dollar store to grab us snacks for the stream. and, yes i made sure to ask for nerds, because i knew you’d want them.” amy explained to ethan. “yeah!! thanks dude. i promise that i’ll help you guys out once i’m finished with this.”

mark held his tongue whilst he and tyler started taking the camera and tripod out of their respective cases.

“of course, just, like i said,” amy made her way closer to ethan, “take your time. no one is rushing you.” ethan grinned in response, to which amy ruffled his hair and walked to the other two boys.

------

thursday, eleven fifty two at night.

all five of them were in the office, discussing their plans for the live stream.

while ethan would usually be laying face - up on the floor during these types of meetings, he was now seated in front of his computer.

the only one on their computer, to specify.

normally this would be fine, but, they were trying to talk, and ethan was clicking away like it was no one’s problem.

“and we’ll definitely play that spongebob movie game, that’s why i bought - “ 

click ... click click clack

“ ... hey bud, you can save and exit now, we’re done working today, alright?” mark kept civil, creasing one leg to rest on top of the other and looking over at ethan from the rest of the group. he beamed pleasantly, that was to no avail, though, as ethan paused for a couple seconds before tapping against the keys again.

mark had an endeavor to wrap up the meeting without being cut in on. that didn’t work out for him, regardless.

“we’ll definitely have to get the xbox out of the storage room sometime tonight though, or we’ll forget about - “

clack clack ... click ... click click click clack

“ethan, it’s okay man, you can put everything away now. you can pick up where you left off on monday. don’t worry about it.” mark didn’t show any signs of smiling that go - around. he only examined the boy once more.

“mm, yeah. okay, okay.” ethan mumbled, continuing his speedy pace of editing.

mark locked eyes with amy, expressing mild anger. amy showed sympathy towards her boyfriend, “it’s okay, pay no mind.” she mouthed inaudibly. mark suspired noticeably, “i may have to dust an old flash drive, so please stay patient with me as i - “

click

“ethan - “

“mark!! what?”

“ethan.”

“i’m trying to work - “

“ethan!!”

the yelling match was expected.

mark’s fist against the desk was not.

ethan, along with everyone else, jumped slightly at mark’s quick course of action.

the youngest of the group stood, astonishingly, tranquilly.

and just ... walked out.

he didn’t bother to grab his phone, keys, or glasses. he simply just, walked down the stairs and pushed open the front door to walk out.

mark pinched the bridge of his nose, inhaling sharply and choosing to follow after his distressed friend. he refused to look at the others as he practically sprung out of his desk chair and sprinted through the office, trying to get outside.

ethan was faced away from the building, hands shoved in his hoodie pocket and his entire body quivering.

“hey,” mark started, “i’m sorry for getting mad, i shouldn’t have done that ... but, please, what’s going on with you?”

the blue haired male turned around, laughing in disbelief, “what’s going on with me? really? so, tyler just ... walks in here one day and you guys decide to make a video where he edits some ... some shit gameplay and ... and he ... he sits at my desk and ... and uses my desktop to edit your video and then you have the audacity to say that he did better than you thought he’d do? really? without even ... and then you don’t even have the courtesy to reassure me - ... anyone that he won’t be replacing someone on the team? you can’t even take the time to say that he’s not better than me ... or amy? or ... or kathryn? seriously, mark? you are unbelievable sometimes, fucking ... “

mark had barely made it three paces out the door before his jaw hung open ever so slightly, thick eyebrows furrowed, “is ... that really what all of this is about? is this seriously a jealousy thing? if it’s a jealously thing ethan, just know that you don’t have a reason to feel,” mark stopped to take a deep breath, “ ... to feel envious of tyler. i can swear to you, you have nothing to worry about, ethan. falling under editing and film skills, he is nothing compared to you. i don’t want you to feel like you have to prove yourself to me.” he softened his voice a little, not wanting to frighten the smaller boy anymore than he already had, “you don’t have anything to prove to me.”

ethan clenched his jaw and began to shake harshly, slow, chilly wind blowing through his colored hair and putting a subtle blush on the tip of his nose. he fought the urge to cry. out of everything that could be happening right now, he definitely didn’t need his boss to see him act like a little bitch.

despite his wishes, two tears fell from his right eye as he blinked, “ ... i,” ethan looked down and gave a miserable smile at his grey sneakers as he did his best not to break out into a full sob, “i just wanted you to be proud of me, man. i wanted to show you that i could ... exceed past tyler’s abilities so you wouldn’t fire me and replace me with him because ... i don’t know, i really like this job, mark, i really do!! ... i just don’t wanna lose it because there’s someone better than me.”

mark muddled his face and shifted his stance, “i am proud of you, i am so proud of you ... what do you mean? did you see what you did in a date with markiplier? that shit was insane. i don’t understand.” he felt comfortable enough to take a couple steps closer to the other.

a twenty pound lump formed at the base of ethan’s throat, haziness overtook his vision and his knees began to feel as if they were as weak as mechanical pencil led. “i don’t deserve this job. i’m not good enough. i don’t meet your expectations, mark. i don’t work hard enough. there’s someone better out there.”

the eldest felt his chest crumble, “you’re joking.”

ethan cocked his head, and then completely understood what his boss had stated.

he shook his head disapprovingly.

“you work incredibly hard, man. are you serious? you’re so motivated and driven to create all the time. which is awesome. i’ve, honestly, i’ve never met someone as self - prompted as you. your work ethic is, most of the time, flawless. other than when you sleep for less than two hours and work for sixteen, yeah man, you’re a fucking legend in post. editing, filming, directing, audio work, all of it, you’re amazing. you are good enough, ethan. for me, for amy, for kathryn, for tyler. there’s no one i’d rather have in your place than you ... i am so glad i hired you. we’d be no where without you.”

ethan sniffed inward and took a deep breath, “can i hug you?”

“absolutely, bud.”

[itsmeizumine]

COMMS ARE OPEN!

[ID: a 6 panels presentation explaining how OP’s commissions are going to pan out. First panel has scripts divided in two columns. The first column says “Hello, fellows! It’s me, Izumine, and right now I’m taking digital art commissions! I really need to buy new PC and I would be extremely glad if you spread word of this commissions for me. Thank you so much!”. The second column says that payment is to happen via Nubank Pix system and OP’s other social medias’ handle; “itsmeizumine” on Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr and YouTube. From the second panel onward, OP’s gonna showcase the types of commission they are willing to take.]

[ID: Second panel is titled “Silly Doodles”. There are three drawings on the panel, all of them very simple and cartoonish. The first drawing is of a kid reenacting “Will Smith Showing Off His Wife” meme, with a speech bubble that says “Bitch, I love and appreciate you” stylized to add comedic effect. The second is of someone grimacing, with “OUCH...” written behind them. The third drawing is of a surprised person, with a speech bubble that says “*GASP* what- NO WAY!!”. There’s a script at the bottom right that says “Silly doodles are fun to draw and use, specially as stickers! They are the quickest to make, and cost 5 USD*.”. The asteristiks are going to be addressed on the 6th panel.]

[ID: Third panel is titled “My Style” and has a column of script right under it that says “I don’t face much trouble with either headshots or full body, but I don’t dig rendering a lot, so my price table is this: a) SKETCH: 10 USD. b) FLAT COLORS: 15 USD**. c) RENDERED: 20 USD**.”. By the side of this column, there are three versions of the portrait of a boy, showing the different finalizations the price table announced going from the simplest (option a) to the most difficult (option c), left-right. At the bottom left of the panel, there’s a script in parentheses that says “This is good to make portraits of loved ones!”.]

[ID: Forth panel is titled “Mimicking”. Under the title, a column of script says “I can imitate your favorite show’ style on a drawing of your OC! I’m particularly good at: BNHA, SvtFoE, The Loud House and Adventure Time. But I can give a shot to any other ones!”. There are four drawings of original characters to the left of the column, each into the styles of the shows OP mentioned. A serious girl using Yuuei’s uniform and sneakers; a boy dressed as a prince from other dimension dancing with a girl in a poncho blouse and pleated skirt, both seemingly in love with each other; a kid wearing a vest, a long-sleeved blouse, pants and boots, expectantly looking to the forth wall; and a fire monk in their casual garb, content; respectfully. In the midst of the drawings there’s a box that says the price is 15 USD**.]

[ID: Fifth panel is titled “Landscapes”. There are two big drawings. The one at the left shows a empty main avenue prepared to start a community fair. The day is sunny and there are little flags and lace tinsels hanging from building to building as there are flower garlands and wreaths decorating the shopfronts. The floor is made up from packed dirt and cobblestone and there has a kiss booth and a roasted chicken stand at the edge of the street. The drawing on the right is the WIP of a staffroom from a mechanic workshop. There are two different levels at the same room. In the lowest there’s a small kitchenette with lights hanging from a support beam made out of steel and a sofa with a remote control atop of it. In the highest, the ground has the same metal texture of a bus’ floor; there’s a ladder, four tires piled together with plants around them and a shelving unit attached to the entryway. There’s a box that says the price for the art pieces is 25 USD**.]

[ID: Sixth panel is titled "Yes, can do/ No, can't do". The text that follows right after is divided in two columns, each column under one segment of the title. The column under the first segment lists Lettering, NSFW art (though, OP says it's debatable) and Mecha/Armor as things they can also do. The column under the last segment lists Gore (OP clarifying that they can work with blood, but nothing more explicit than that), Hate Material and Animals (and by extension, Furries) as things they can't do. Under these columns there's a box that explains the asterisks. It says "Single asterisk: In case USD is not your currency, we'll follow the procedure of converting the values using it as reference. Double asterisks: This is a minimum price. Might be upped depending on the complexity of your commission, but don't worry! We'll discuss it before settling on anything. And! We'll only start negotiations if you read and agree with my Terms of Service, so that's that as well.". This is all there is to the last panel, and with that the presentation ends.]

(TERMS OF SERVICE BELOW, READ IT ATTENTIVELY)

if DM me about any commission you're interested to do i'll assume you've read everything and are 100% okay with it, so don't even try if you're aren't. this is not up to debate.

.

there's stuff worthy of taking notice before asking a commission from me:

.

i need my commissioner to be somewhat available for communication. i'm gonna share my process with you and i need your feedback during it to go on. any sort of adjustment gotta happen there, as i'm not returning to the finished piece to retouch it on any way or form nor do i allow anyone to make any changes to my artwork.

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i'm not delivering the finished piece until you fully pay me. no debate on that. and i reserve the right to cancel and refund any commissions at any time for any reason.

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unless you oppose to it during the process, there's a chance that i might use the commissioned artwork on my social medias as a way to promote me and my services. if that bothers you or makes you uncomfortable, you gotta tell me.

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you retain all rights over the intellectual property of the commissioned piece and i assure you i won't make any claims over it, but the artwork is mine nonetheless. it's for personal use ONLY until stated otherwise, and you CANNOT profit from it or use it commercially unless we discuss it beforehand.

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i won't make you NSFW art if you're under age, for obvious reasons. any minors asking for commissions of any other kind need have permission from their legal guardian, unless they have their own bank account.

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if you want to eventually print the artwork, please state this before we get started on the commission. my default set-up is made for small files that are going to pixelate once you size them up to make, say, a poster. it's going to reflect badly on the end result of my work and i can make it right from the start if only you warn me first.

.

and i won't lower the price of any commissions below where they are now. the prices are as accessible as they can be. i'll work hard on each and every piece ever commissioned and and i need money like any other person too, respect me and my work.

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i’d like thank anyone commissioning, reblogging or sharing the link of this post with possible future commissioners right now. hopefully i’ll be able to buy a new computer and make even better art to share with you guys soon!!

[reipinto]

any art advice for people who struggle with perfectionism

That’s kind of a hard thing to give advice for because each person is different.

I can tell you what worked for me: - I started leaving more art works as just sketches without pressuring myself to finish them, - if i didnt like something i drew, instead of deleteing it i just saved it (didnt post) and then moved on to get the pressure of “can only draw if im gonna post it” off my back -drew more with pen and also started just coloring on top of sketch layer - about the sketch layer thing, i just kinda gave up on inking bc it frustrated me, nowdays i go straight to sketching then painting -i had friends i’d show my art to and we were both artists and we’d uplift eachother and talk about how hard being an artist is. venting about your worries and having someone confort you is a nice thing to have - this one is a bit stupid but: i started drawing on mspaint. For a full year i only drew on mspaint. The sheer fact that the program is “shitty” means that nobody expects anything grand to come from it, not even myself. It gave me an euphoric freedom i thought i had lost when it comes to drawing. It made me look at “shitty art” and feel proud of it because given the program limitations? that was an increible piece! -i took breaks. i took so many breaks. im not saying “2 or 4 days break from drawing” im saying months. My longest break from drawing was around 3 years. Sometimes the mental state you are in is just not good for drawing, and trying to force yourself to draw through it will just stress yourself more. I promise taking breaks is healthy and you WONT forget what you already knew. - make yourself some side blogs for niche interests you have, where you can post your art without worrying about it making it big. “Oh i usually post in [insert fandom here] but im feeling exhausted and only drew pictures of my silly minecraft sona.... i dont want to post it on my main though”  that’s ok buddy, trying to POST something is already progress, trust me, i used to post maybe 3% of what i drew and deleted like 90% of what i drew. Saving your art, or posting it, is already a nice way to go against perfectionism (for me, it worked for me)

- i started looking for more artists that drew messy, that posted mostly sketches and unfinished pictures, this way my media consumption wasnt 100% finished pictures fully rendered and what not, controlling what i saw online and finding others who like me, didnt spend much time on pieces, made the community feel more like a community and less of a race

- draw what you love, share with your friends. Your friends DO like your art, they DO think it is pretty, No , they are not lying to you just because you are friends. No, you’re not bothering them by shwing your art. Learn to accept their compliments, a “thank you!” instead of “really? i didnt think it was that pretty....” goes a long way on helping yourself accept that people enjoy your work

i can’t think of any more stuff at the moment but i hope this helps?

[4328fox]

Sweatshirt-Related Blues

summary: Alternatively, Yuri thinks about the routine that's setting in his life when it comes to dating Flynn.

notes: This was a drabble I did a month ago trying to work through my handful of writing ideas. I wasn't initially going to post it, especially not the second chapter, but I still feel relatively proud of both, so here they are. I mostly wanted to poke at Yuri (modern au setting) about thoughts he would likely deny of every having passed through his mind.

2k words. link to AO3

both chapters are also on the read more below!

SIDE A

Another calm afternoon goes by. Yuri continues typing on his computer as he strings his thoughts along, thoughts among the lines of I don’t get why you just don’t note these stuff down, while some from Brave Vesperia lament their loss in some scavenger-hunting video game. Yuri played a bit of it himself, but took to just watching Karol, Rita, Estelle and Patty mess around. He chuckles when he reads Rita’s clearly annoyed reply, and types up a quick one of his own. And then Estelle asks, isn’t it five in the afternoon now? Yuri sneaks a quick glance at the time on the monitor.

“Shit. I’m gonna be late.”

Yuri almost jumps out of the chair to get ready, but as he gets up, he decides to shoot a quick goodbye to his friends. Have fun lol, is how he finishes up the message, before he rushes back to his bed, where Repede has been resting.

“Come on, buddy, we can’t keep Flynn waiting.” Though Yuri very well recognizes that the fault will fall on him more than on his sleeping companion. He discards the sleep wear he put back on after running some morning errands, and grabs the clothes he dropped over the bed. Some bermuda shorts and a sweatshirt that is too light for the drizzling weather. At the very least, he feels good wearing those, so why pick a new outfit? Flynn’s definitely going to comment that I’d get cold. As if that really bothered Yuri to begin with.

He does a quick pat over his pocket, for his wallet. There. And he slides his phone comfortably into the other one. Repede just then has awoken fully, attentive to Yuri’s haste.

“Okay, let’s go.” He tries to comb a hand through his hair, but he instantly gets stuck on a painful knot. Yuri hisses a bit. “Or maybe in a minute.”

After a quick brushing session, Yuri slid his sneakers on and left the apartment, with Repede in tow. That’s when he gets a text. He opens it up, and as suspected, it’s from Flynn. Asking him if Yuri’s late again. That’s all routine.

The time they have together ends up amazing. To think they could make a competition out of bowling. As a result, Flynn paid for both their meals at the local restaurant. They spent longer than expected just chatting and eating, cooling down from earlier. They’d been sitting across one another on the table, exchanging the occasional grins between one another. And Yuri continuously stole glances from Flynn as they talked to one another, without being self-conscious of it like he used to be. That’s one perk in finally getting together. Their feelings are laid out on the table, there is no need to dance around excuses.

Flynn checks the wristwatch on his free hand, and Yuri just then realises he was entirely too focused on the hand itself. Their eyes meet.

“Yuri, it’s getting a bit late. Should we go?”

Yuri sips the remainder of his milkshake as he thinks. “Yeah. We can. I don’t have anything to be up in the morning for, though.”

“I have something from 10 in the morning.”

They both stand up, ready to head out. Yuri reaches for Flynn’s hand, taking it tentatively. It’s warm and slightly rough to the touch, but Yuri knows it’s as rough as his own. Flynn squeezes his hand and looks at Yuri to smile.

“I take it that you enjoyed tonight?”

“Hell yeah,” Yuri replies, “I beat you at bowling, I got free food. I think I got it pretty well.”

“I see that our date was just another contest to you.”

“Not my fault you lost.”

They continue bickering all the way to Yuri’s apartment. Flynn goes up the elevator with him, all the way to the entrance to Yuri’s apartment. This is routine, as dates with Flynn have been. Usually the outings would come and go, and one would escort the other and go home. They would hold hands. They kissed a few times.

“I’ll text you later.” Flynn says, quieter than his usual. He sounds so soft, it makes Yuri think that the sudden pounding in his heart is louder.

But he tries to keep it cool. “What, you don’t want to sleepover? Like the usual?”

“I didn’t bring any spare clothes with me. Or cleaning utilities. And I have classes.” Flynn laughs sheepishly. He takes both of Yuri’s hands in his own, but only for a brief moment.

“Aren’t the ones you’re taking in particular online? You just login in from my desktop and you’d be set.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, though I do hold to my lack of spare clothes.”

“Fine, fine.” Yuri rolls his eyes as they continue smiling. Yuri feels like they’re both the dazed fools from some picture-perfect storybook.

And then they look at each other. Yuri watches how Flynn suddenly grows nervous, swallowing a bit. It makes Yuri want to be just a bit selfish… To place one kiss on Flynn’s neck, where he knows it would tickle, to feel Flynn chuckle because Yuri for a fact knows that neither of them are very well-versed in being openly affectionate at all.

He leans in, hand lifting to cup Flynn’s face. The gentle press of their lips reminds Yuri of the static he would feel back when he dreamt of kissing Flynn, back when he was clueless of how bad he got it. And just like in his dreams, the kiss lasts for seconds, before one or both of them inevitably pull away. Yuri feels Flynn’s hand over his own.

But what if this were different from the dreams? What if Yuri pressed their lips again, chasing the feeling of Flynn being close? They’ve only ever had these short and sweet kisses, the types to make any hopeless romantic jealous. Yuri never thought he would be here like this, but there is always an exception when it comes to Flynn.

Both his hands are now on Flynn’s face, stroking his cheeks with thumbs. The kiss is slow, yet it quickly renders them breathless. They bump noses, they don’t really know where to put their hands, it’s not a smooth sail. But it was never meant to be elegant to begin with, given they’re in some old apartment complex corridor. Yuri feels Flynn kiss with the same amount of reluctance out of inexperience, but the very fact he’s wrapping his arms around Yuri’s back makes Yuri’s heart swell.

They part, but they’re still holding one another. Yuri, expecting to see the same face and the same blue eyes he loves, finds that it’s Flynn who's buried his face in Yuri’s neck. It makes Yuri feel adrenaline rush instantly, his cheeks feeling fuzzy and pulling at the corners of his mouth. It takes another second or two for him to realise that his boyfriend isn’t trying to kiss his neck, like he expected, but is instead just hiding his face.

Yuri finds it incredibly endearing. He should have expected this. He hugs back, not as tightly, but his hands rub Flynn’s back. “It’s gonna get cold for real if you stay out here any longer.”

Muffled through Yuri’s sweatshirt, Flynn says: “Your fault if I go out and get a cold.”

“You’re the one wearing a polo like you’re a divorced dad.” He slowly breaks off the hug, because he still wants to give Flynn a quick look over. Not entirely because their kiss just now woke thoughts in Yuri that he is desperately trying to keep dormant.

“Now it’s “divorced dad”? I would appreciate it if you stuck with one name when it came to my fashion sense.”

“It’s all atrocious is what it is.” Yuri grins, crossing his arms as soon as Flynn steps out of hugging range.

“And yet you still date me.”

“You’re lucky I like you, yeah. Now go home, if you cherish your special shower gel more than video game night.”

“I wouldn’t want to wound your pride after the amount of gloating you did over bowling.” Flynn chuckles at the thought, before his smile settles to something softer. “Goodnight, Yuri.”

It takes Yuri a beat to remember he’s supposed to go inside his apartment. “Yeah. Night.”

He fishes out the keys from his shorts’ pockets and unlocks his door in a swift move. After a quick wave from them both, Flynn turns his back to leave, while Yuri (and Repede, who was waiting diligently), are within the comfort of their home. Yuri sighs, a bit breathless, as he drops his keys and wallet to the side.

------------------------------------------

SIDE B

Yuri daydreams more, as of late. When he and Flynn spend time together, the urge to be closer lingers on his mind. How much closer can he get to Flynn anyway? They go on dates somewhat regularly, they chat, they hang out with their friends. There’s sleepovers where they play video games to an ungodly hour, days where Yuri sits Flynn down just to help him recite whatever he was meant to study for a test.

And then there’s affection. Words of endearment, lingered in small doses of insult toward one another, there’s the occasional hand-holding, and there’s standing close at times. And then there’s Flynn’s different ways of showing his love, the tight embraces, the kisses…

Yuri wants more. And it’s such a selfish and such a strong urge forming itself in his brain and not leaving. Now that they’ve been dating for closer to a year, Yuri lays after dates in his bed, agonizing over himself. What more is there to want? Isn’t this calm in the sea much better than chaos contained within the waves? Yuri is lucky enough that their feelings ended up being mutual, because he never even imagined he would get this far with Flynn.

But that is a vice of itself, Yuri thinks, because it makes him dream. The deeper kisses he and Flynn shared in rare instances could not satisfy all urges, the parts of Yuri he would much rather purge out of existence.

Yuri wishes Flynn were here. That they were embracing over Yuri’s bed, that they were kissing. He’d probably been the one to push Flynn toward the bed, he realises. He’s the enabler in many ways, even if it’s something deemed so selfish. Yuri turns to lay on his side at the thought. Bodies pressed closer, warm feelings contained between them. Yuri thinks about Flynn’s hands, and how they would move to pull Yuri closer, while the gentle touch would leave him longing for some sappy words, some sappy expressions of love.

They’ve yet to settle comfortably in love declarations too. Yuri implies it with words, actions, never using the word itself. Flynn is a bit better about this, though he is just as skittish. If nothing else, he is much better at expressing his affection just through his choice of words than Yuri is. It isn’t that Yuri would mind saying the three words, because he imagines them escaping between him and Flynn, between hushed kissing. But he has yet to find the strength to say them. Yuri can only hope that he is at least able to express them.

He wants to make Flynn feel the same things Yuri is feeling now. He wants to move his hands, his lips, to lay over Flynn, to cup his face and to kiss him harder, until they both are breathless, laughing tired, basking in each other’s comfort. He doesn’t want one of them to have to go home after a date, he doesn’t want them to end on sweet kisses only. He wants them to spend the night, less as best friends still navigating their relationship, but closer to lovers who have been waiting for too long...

The moment Yuri realises he’s gotten too lost in his thoughts, he sits up, almost abruptly. His heart beats hard, it’s all he can hear in the darkness of the night. In the wake of it all, Yuri isn’t sure he is able to accept how he gets about this stuff.

He shuffles his hand through the night stand, until he picks up his phone. A little past 1am. Yuri supposes it’s fair. There aren't any text-related notifications, but he still opens the app for his group chats. Still no notification he happened to miss. Yuri taps the chat with Flynn, the latest message being some reply from Flynn over a meme Yuri sent. It says he’s online, so he’s probably studying.

Yuri begins typing, and he can feel his heart pound through his hands, making them feel weirdly clammy. Yuri pays little attention to it, but to think that he would feel like this… To be honest, it’s nice. That Yuri isn’t immune to something like the fluttering feelings of dating meant that all his thoughts that he can’t say out loud are normal.

He stares at his message for Flynn. He swallows, and he reads through it again. His thumb hovers over the send button. But he presses backspace.

i wish you stayed the night. i love you.

[belliesandburps]

(Not My Writing) De-Stressing Story (Bakugou post-stuffing fic)

Heyo! So, with all the chaos and everything going on, I thought you might want a way to de-stress and unwind, ya know? And erm, what better way to do that than with a post-stuff fic? 😅 I know my writing isn’t as good as yours, but hopefully it won’t suck too much ass. 😌

Just a lovely lil quick fic written by the same rising fan who wrote up that last fic with Bakugou.  They wrote this a while back and for reasons unknown, I forgot to share it simply because things HAVE been incredibly hectic on my end.  But I absolutely loved this and was incredibly grateful that they were so kind as to actually take the time to write something up for me.  So the least I can do is share it with y’all so you can enjoy a fellow fan’s great stuff!

And to the writer in question, I loved this one and appreciate that you took the time to create it big time!  ^^

“Damn Shitty Hair! Fuckin’ feedin’ me all that motherfucking food… Fucker better be glad I’m too fuckin’ stuffed to chase after him… Damn asking me for fucking critiques… Fucking fucker … Fuck!”

There's only one person who swears so much in a few sentences, Deku thought as he made his way out of the bathroom. Oddly enough, for once, he wasn’t the source of incessant mumbling. His classmates would probably have commented on that if they weren’t out doing their own thing on a sunny Saturday.

Well, everyone except for Todoroki, who scrolled through his phone at the kitchen table, and -

“Kacchan? Are you - woah. W-what the heck happened?”

“Fuckin’ Shitty Hair happened, ya damn nerd.” Todoroki glanced up from his phone.

“If I recall correctly, you made no move to stop the plates of food Kirishima asked you to critique. In hindsight, you over-ate because you were hungry from your morning run-”

“Don’t tell me what I did, Half-and-Half bastard!”

Izuku sighed before his eyes widened. Bakugou’s stomach currently stuck out a good foot, hiking his black tank top up and exposing his aching organ. Fortunately, his black sweatpants had no buttons to lose. The stomach churned away, eagerly processing spicy udon, katsudon, beef strips, calzones (he told Shitty Hair to use fuckin’ pepper jack next time), iced tea, and a crisp Coke.

GWwWooOOoorn…

Bakugou flipped Todoroki off (he was too busy hearting Momo’s Instagram page to notice) before tenderly caressing his bloated stomach. Deku came over.

“Are you okay, Kacchan?”

“Tch! Do I look like I’m okay, ya fuckin ner-”

GWwLOURP!

His stomach gurgled angrily. Bakugou felt a pocket of air dislodge and make its way up his throat.

“Kacchan, that sounded bad. Do you think we should -”

BUHuuUuuUUUUUUUuUUuUUURP!

The boy in question threw his head back and unleashed a loud, chunky belch. He grunted when it ended.

“Tch, still feel more in there…” Deku scratched the back of his neck.

“What did you eat to make you so… bloated?”

“NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS, SHITTY NERRRRRRRRD!” He belched the last part of his insult before putting a fist to his mouth.

MMMMMMMMMMMMRRRRRPH!

“Guh! I’m gonna murder fucking Shitty Hair when this is over!”

“Kirishima? Now that you mention it… Where is he?”

“If he’s smart, he’s hiding from my raAAAAAAAaaAAaOOOOOURP!”

“Your rage?”

“YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, FUCKING DEKU!!”

“Kirishima ran off after Bakugou chased him around the kitchen.” Two pairs of eyes faced the Heterochromia-eyed teen, although one pair was flaming with rage.

“Don’t you dare finish that though, IcyHot,” Bakugou seethed. Todoroki glanced at the boy’s stomach.

“Kirishima was trying out several new recipes and asked if Bakugou and I wanted to be his samplers. We agreed.” Deku could hear Kacchan raging internally, not unlike his aggressively churning stomach.

“We said yes, and Bakugou devoured pretty much the whole plate while giving out various insults. ‘Add more heat, Shitty Hair’, 'when I bite this, I want to feel some fucking crunch’, 'just right’, 'give me more…’ This went on until Bakugou rendered himself immobile and threatened to blow Kirishima up, who ran away laughing.” Todoroki shrugged and motioned to Bakugou, who burped deeply into his fist. “That’s why I’m not currently nursing a bloated stomach.”

“Half-and-Half Bastard…!” Bakugou’s eye twitched as he gingerly stood up.

BWOorOoGL!

“I’m gonna make you pay for that…” Unfazed, Todoroki hearted another one of Momo’s pictures before he stood up.

“Guys, wait!” Deku shoved his way between the two of them, bumping into Bakugou’s stomach in the process.

Big mistake.

OWOURGull…!

“Kacchan, if you’re the one who ate a-all that food, then -”

“Get the fuck out my way, Shitty Nerd.”

“No.” Todoroki flexed his right hand.

Oddly enough, Bakugou… relaxed. And shrugged.

“Your loss.”

His shit-eating grin did little to settle Izuku’s nerves.

Bakugou placed a hand on his angry stomach and pushed. HARD.

BLouurWouurgl…

Izuku’s faced paled at the very rich grumble.

“That didn’t sound good.”

Todoroki finally realized why Bakugou wasn’t attacking and tried to warn his friend.

“Midoriya, he’s going to -”

BREEEEeUUUUuuUUUUUuuuUUUuUUUUUAAAAARP!!

“… Burp.”

Poor Midoriya. Too shock to move out the way, he could only take Kacchan’s eight-second belch point blank.

“What the heck, Kacchan?!” He spluttered while coughing and fanning the air to displace the smell of beef and cola.

“Told ya t’ move, Shitty Nerd.”

GurWOL!

HUU-HOOoooooOOOOUUUUUUUUUUURP!!

Todoroki blinked while the bassy, gaseous expulsion erupted out of Bakugou’s mouth. Izuku frowned.

“At least it’s better than trying to blow me up… But it still smells…”

“Oh yeah, speaking of blowing up…” Izuku took several steps back as the explosive blonde wrapped his arms around his stomach and squeezed.

BUUUUOOOOOooOoOOOOWUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOORP!!

While his stomach-soothing skills could use some work, it was decent enough to unleash a colossal belch that roared on for a whopping ten seconds. Izuku felt sorry for anyone outside the dorms who heard that behemoth (and secretly hoped Aizawa wouldn’t wake up from his nap).

The belch finally came to an end, leaving Bakugou’s stomach relatively deflated. Now only sticking out a good six inches, it didn’t affect the hero-in-training’s mobility as much.

That wasn’t good for a certain redhead.

“Kacchan,” Deku moaned while waving his hand, “quit blowing your burps over here.” To this, Bakugou forced out a chunky afterburp and made sure to blow harder.

“Now it smells like udon…”

“That’s whatcha get fer tellin’ me what to do, Shitty Nerd. Now…” He turned towards the doors leading outside with an eerily gleeful expression.

“I have a certain Shitty Hair bastard to deal with…”

[anangelicday-mrwolf]

Wolfsbane : Noblesse Fanfic (post-ending)

(previous chapter)

Chapter 69 – Would You Take My Hand Now? 

“Man, I knew I was born with insight. And I knew you, sir, would pull this off like...” 

“Shut up.” 

“So you can't cope with compliments when they come from me? Did anybody ever tell you what comes around goes around? That applies to the manner of speech, you know?” 

“Then allow me to rephrase myself. I would so very viciously appreciate it if you could please zip those teeth of yours.” 

“...You might want to drop the manners, if that's how you're gonna use them.” 

“I'll be happy to. Shut your pie hole.” 

Despite being the victim of Frankenstein's curses-without-curses for 3 times in a row, Muzaka did nothing to bite back at him. 

Few days ago, he received report from Frankenstein and Lukedonia in relay of the situations from Seoul and nobles, respectively. 

And earlier in the morning, Frankenstein revealed himself in the werewolf realm without anybody's notice, to demand Muzaka to lead the way to the lab. 

As flustered as the werewolf lord was, the blonde human seemingly very inclined to drag him towards the lab if he were not to comply, he had never been so happy to have an uninvited guest. 

Because he could think of only one reason why Frankenstein would sneak into his domain to head straight to the lab - diagnosis and hopefully treatment on the mystery of his body's automated refuge during the nuclear missile incident. 

And Frankenstein, based on the research files from Ignes he had obtained in advance and the results from his treatment on Yuigi, eliminated to perfection the nanochips in Muzaka's head. 

A process during which Frankenstein wore that menacing, sinister looks from beginning to the end, which derived from Muzaka's testament on the behind-the-scenes through which Crombel's nanochips nestled inside his body. 

He was aware of the fact that Muzaka had once stayed under Crombel's hospitality, but he has never got a chance to learn what exactly he had been up to with Crombel during the time. 

And as soon as he was hit by the comprehension that Muzaka provided himself as a test subject for the dead doctor, Frankenstein held a show of how to directly bombard someone's head with every curse available in human language, minus any syllable that is definitely not meant for the underaged audience. 

Muzaka knew he was guilty; now he understood how the Crombel's suggestion he had regarded as a give-and-take deal turned into more-than-troublesome sword and shield against Frankenstein and the RK during their final showdown. 

Hence the werewolf lord assumed a silent rock this time. 

He doubted Frankenstein would accept an excuse that he had no idea Crombel would develop a weapon to control 1st Elder out of the nanochips he was planted with. 

Notwithstanding, Muzaka was a werewolf of manners. 

His personality and conscience did not let him forget his gratitude.

“Thanks, Frankenstein. I owe you big. So does Adne. Don't you agree?”

Muzaka peeked at Adne, who had finally risen from his bed. 

During his treatment of Yuhyung at Seoul, Frankenstein picked up from his patient that Adne fell unconscious due to the gas he concocted. 

While he was treating Muzaka, he injected into Adne the antidote he brewed with Yuhyung's recipe. 

Thus Adne opened his eyes, and even though he was advised not to force himself back on his feet just yet, he was watching how Frankenstein was wrapping up Muzaka's treatment, from which he could always learn something, according to him. 

“Oh, and I still remember our deal. I will grant you one... I mean, two wishes that you have, no matter what it takes.” 

Frankenstein's memory was just as fresh. 

He had marked that Muzaka owe him two wishes - one from their deal regarding the latter's body state, and one from his request regarding Lunark's affection. 

And Frankenstein already knew how he would expend the two wishes, before which, however, was something he must go through. 

Which required more than his power. 

He was reminding himself that it is about time for his helper to arrive, when the door slid open. 

The resonance of footsteps raised its volume, like the set of notes on a piano, and he spun on his heels as the final footstep waltz-rolled into his heart. 

And he was met with Lunark's face, not as startled as he had expected, although she did look as if she were faced with a person she had envisioned as deceased. 

He was met with her pink pupils, wide open and spilling alarm from their cores, and her half-open lips. 

The lips he once held in his own. 

As Frankenstein kept himself busy, choking the outburst of suggestive images in his head, Muzaka greeted his warrior. 

“You're back! You did good, Lunark. You did really good. What are you waiting for, Frankenstein? Shouldn't you thank your savior?” 

Muzaka speared the air with his nose, copycating a father showing off his proud daughter. 

Frankenstein gazed at him with annoyed, questioning eyes before he nodded. 

“I'll do that. While I'm at it, let me borrow her for a minute.” 

“...Say what?” 

Lunark and Muzaka sang in unison as they gaped at Frankenstein.

“It won't take long. So excuse me, but excuse me.”

Frankenstein did not even finish his sentence before his arm extended itself towards its target, and the next moment Lunark was tiptoeing her way out of the lab, caught by Frankenstein's hand. 

Muzaka and Adne could only stare at the door, dumbstruck by the event that befell in the speed of light. 

“Couldn't you at least give us a hint what this is about?” 

*****

'Why are we here?' 

Lunark flung her eyes about her, unable to settle down. 

Yet she could only retrieve her eyes at the pink poking her eyes. 

She and Frankenstein happened to be standing in the sea of wolfsbanes, the site that held the memoir of their first kiss still oscillating with gorgeous pink. 

Because of which Lunark could simply fumble in silence, lost in the details of the disaster from the past. 

And that was a cue for Frankenstein to begin. 

“First of all, thanks.” 

“Uh... What's that?” 

“Thanks for saving me at Lukedonia.” 

“O-oh... D-don't mention it.” 

“And sorry.” 

“A-about what...?” 

“You had to go through all that trouble because of me. And I almost killed you. Not to mention you had to break your long-lived bow.” 

“Uh... Oh... You mean the fact that I accepted the Noblesse's power and therefore broke my bow that I shall nurture my natural-born power without any experiment or body modification? Don't be sorry. I knew what I was doing, and I have no regrets whatsoever. Even if I were to go back in time, I would have made the same choice, although I have to admit that was the only option available for me back then. And, uh... No need to be sorry that you almost killed me. It wasn't you. It was the Dark Spear.” 

A hurried array of excuses naturally rendered Lunark speechless, which did not bring the same effect upon her company.

“When I drank the tonic with the components altered by 3rd Elder...” 

Days were not enough to dilute his nightmarish memories from the time.

The moment he downed the liquid, he could feel sleep - no, he could feel vertigo looming towards him, giving no time at all for him to look for a spare awakening or tonic. 

Like a tumult of unstoppable torrent from a dam cracked, the tsunami of sleep he had been long forcing in imprisonment engulfed him. 

He could feel the Dark Spear screaming in glee even before he blacked out. 

The weapon was screaming, Now it's all over!!! 

As he felt his legs and eyelids giving in, the best and the most he could do was picturing a series of faces. 

Raizel. 

M-21, Takio, and Tao. 

Regis and Seira. 

Gechutel, Karious, Rael. 

Razark, Rayga, and Tesamu. 

And...... 

Lunark. 

Soundlessly shrieking out her name was the last thing he did before his mind slipped away from his grasp. 

“That was when I realized how distinct my feelings have grown. I realized that my feelings for you can no longer stay unspoken.” 

As Frankenstein was stitching the air with a now-I-don't-care-whatever-happens tone, Lunark was still quiet. 

This time, however, she could not speak up.

'Did I hear correctly...? Frankenstein loves me...?!' 

Clutching tightly to her heart that had been fluttering like petals dancing in the moonlight since who-knows-when, Lunark kept attentive to Frankenstein's speech. 

“I knew what my heart was telling me, but I could only play deaf. The Dark Spear in me has grown powerful enough to jeopardize my control, after it took over Crombel and his Blood Stone. I was afraid it will hurt those dear to me... I was afraid it will hurt you. But thanks to you, it has lost the Blood Stone and became tame enough -somewhat - so now I have no more reason to avoid you. And most importantly, my master told me this. We should live our lives to the fullest during the time given to us, without any regret. We must look into our hearts to determine what it is that we really want. And we must make a choice for ourselves.” 

Sounds just like something from a soul born with eternal time but bound to the burdens of Noblesse, thought Lunark as she nodded. 

“And as I came up with your name in the course of my possession by the Dark Spear... I felt regret burning like hellfire inside me. I kept lamenting, if only I were honest with my feelings for just a little. If only I could at least give a signal of my feelings for you. Back then I'd thought my future is no more, so I'd thought I'll be losing you and the rest of my people.”

Lunark's lips were fastened seamlessly as she took in Frankenstein's voice, now turned into a whisper. 

For she had gone through something similar rather recently. 

When she was pouring Raizel's power into Frankenstein's body via kiss, she did not think about what will break beyond that point. 

The only thing she could think of was saving Frankenstein.

Ironically, at the corner of her brain she could view a list of highlights from her life. 

The list of every word and time she shared with Frankenstein, ever since they first met as enemies at Seoul. 

Her survival instinct screeched at her that she can no longer carry or cumulate these memories, which left bitter regrets in her heart for a second. 

She regretted that she did not confess her feelings or make more memories with him. 

And here she was, figuring out that Frankenstein had felt the same regret that had haunted her. 

His feelings were the same, so she could feel tiny expectation bloating like a balloon. 

“And recently, I almost lost you. I almost lost myself. I almost lost everything I treasure... And I shall have no more regrets.” 

So you mean...? 

Lunark could only reiterate the question stuck in her throat, when Frankenstein at last turned his eyes towards her. 

“You might be disappointed in me, since I've been staying single for more than 820 years. Nevertheless, would you take my hand now?” 

Frankenstein's confession was quite direct, truthful to his claim of being single for more than 8 centuries, which was regardless faded in the feathery texture of his voice and the heart-melting perfume from Lunark's cardiac muscle. 

Which was why Lunark let out a relaxed sigh of laughter in reply. 

“I could say the same thing. I had no reason at all to familiarize myself with romance so far... Why would you opt for a terrifying woman like me?”

“Because you're terrifying. Or should I say fiery?” 

Lunark did not expect him to remember the semi-jest she threw at him during their first encounter. 

She could once again revel at how deep her love is, feeling no cringe at all at his delicacy, and her hand was bound by a quintet of huge, slender fingers. 

“Which reminds me, isn't this near the spot we had our first kiss?”

A sentence was more than enough to drown Lunark's cheeks with streaks of red like bombs, and Frankenstein smirked. 

“The first one was an accident. And the second one was stolen by the Dark Spear, during a situation that will allow no chance in hell for a romantic mood... Which is why this time I'll do it myself.”

What?! H-hold on a sec!! 

The man did not spare a second for her to stop him. 

As outgoing as he is, his arm was weighed with strength just as audacious, and its mind-blowing aftermath soon took over Lunark's lips. 

And the werewolf was swept in the impression that the entire blood in her body was drawn to her lips. 

For each of strokes and rubs Frankenstein's mouth made, a rumbling noise one would hear from a freight train spread from her lips throughout her wholesome form, to raise full blooms of elation to every corner and plain of her body, not a speck to be left desolate. 

Lunark's hands, wobbling between sweetness and daze, soon secured themselves onto Frankenstein's chest, to slowly wind across his shoulders and around his neck. 

The two figures basked in the kiss more electrical than the first and more ecstatic than the second, while the pink petals of wolfsbanes surrounding them rippled like dancers blessing them. 

*****

A follow-up on their fluffy-soft and flowery-perfumed kiss in declaration of love, Frankenstein put on that signature full-of-poise smile of his. 

“Now it's time for us to deal with the remaining obstacles. But first thing first - I need you to get changed.” 

He pulled out from his jacket a white dress shirt, meticulously squared and folded in a clean bag of plastic. 

“Sorry. I know I should've brought a brand new one, but I have no knowledge of your accurate size. So I had to opt for one from my own closet. And don't worry. It's washed.” 

Lunark took the bag from him, locking her teeth from spilling that if it is from his collection, he is practically rewarding her. 

“But you'll have to grab one from your possessions as for the fabrics to cover your lower appendages. And it'd better be something comfortable for you to move in.” 

“Uh... Sure. But why would you offer this out of the blue...?”

Her eyes twitched in puzzlement, earning from Frankenstein an unexpressed pleasure of witnessing her loveliness, and he smirked and retorted with a brief explanation. 

“...What?!” 

And Lunark could once again realize how outgoing her man could be, as she rolled her eyes in bewilderment. 

(next chapter)

At last, ladies and gentlemen, Frankenstein and Lunark are official in my fic! XD It took 69 chapters for them to be together, but guess what - next chapter will be the final chapter for this fic. :P

As for Raizel’s advice mentioned in the middle of this chapter, I made a reference to the theme message from the original webtoon during its early seasons. We must live our lives to fullest during the time designated to us, making choices by ourselves and for ourselves. Back when the webtoon was ongoing, the only impression I got was that it sounds good to me, but nowadays as days pass and seasons change, I’m growing to agree with this idea more and more. Which is why I personally wanted to make a reference to this message in my fic.

Anyways, next chapter will be the final chapter for this fic. I’d like to say you’ve been doing an amazing job of keeping up with me so far, and I’d like to ask you to please stay with me for just one more week. Thanks so much! :)

[gvf-imagines]

Part 1

(Josh/Danny/Jake/Sam x reader)

Warnings: alcohol use, self harm scars

word count:  3252

Thanks to @callmekane for beta reading this fic!

A/N: I’m excited about what this story will bring! This is going to be a very smut filled fan fiction series where the reader has a very sexual and open relationship with all of the boys! I know some people won’t like it I’m sure but all criticism is welcome! Please leave comments and let me know what you think and of course if you have an idea for the story I’m totally open to hearing your thoughts! I hope you enjoy it my friends ❣️

If you’d like to be on the tag-list so you know when I post part 2 just message me or let me know in the comments!

—————————————————————-

You smiled as you ran off stage, the fans were still screaming and kept screaming until the next band took the stage. The air was electric, so many people, all here to enjoy the great communicator that is music. You closed your eyes to take it all in, to just listen and feel. You couldn't believe you were here, playing in front of this many people. This year you shared the stage with another up and coming band by the name of Greta Van Fleet. You hadn't heard of them before recently and they were actually really good. They had so much soul and passion in their music, it was true, raw talent. 

You watched from the side stage as they played their eclectic set. The singer, Josh, really got the crowd going. He had so much energy and was really fun to watch. His voice was incredible, unbelievable even. He had this raspy, elegant twang in his voice, that truly matched perfectly with the music his band was producing. The drummer, Danny (if you remembered correctly), had such a powerful and classic Drumming style. It was full of life and emotion , just like you, he put his all into his performance. He was focused and truly the heart of the music. There was a guitarist and a Bassist, unlike your band which only consisted of you and your best friend. You, the drummer and your friend the singer and guitarist. The bassist, Sam,  had a very cool way about him, his body moved with the music in a way that seemed beyond his control. The guitarist, Jake , was stunning, his hands danced along his guitar so expertly, you could tell he truly enjoyed his time with his instrument. 

When they finished their set, the crowd erupted in a wave of applause and cheers, like bright yellow and orange fireworks booming through the air, you watched with your minds eye, in awe as they exploded and cracked in the sky. The Boys bowed and waved before walking off stage panting and sweating.

“Nice job!, excellent show” you comment smiling. Danny returned the smile with a grateful nod. 

“Aw thank you, I'm sorry I don't think we had a chance to meet before the show, I’m Dan-” he began.

“You're Danny, Sam , Jake , and Josh” you said, pointing to each of them and smiling. They all returned the smile, there was positive energy just radiating from them, you could feel it like a blanket of warmth resting over you. 

“My name is (y/n), it's so nice to meet you guys!” you chime happily. The lead singer, Josh smiles at and you think you catch a small wink as well, making your heart skip a beat. Perhaps you were seeing things. God he's handsome, his sparkling brown eyes, he had more structure in his jawline than you had in your entire life His chestnut hair was gorgeous and curly, his whole look just attracted you to no end. 

Fuck. 

“Hey your performance was super amazing too, your voice is absolutely incredible” Sam complimented, his voice popped all the bubbly thoughts of josh that foamed in your head. Thank goodness. “Yeah! You did an excellent job (y/n). Its one thing to be a good singer when you have three other band members to help you sound good, but you were out there all alone, just your voice and you still blew that crowd away” Danny added. You were blushing for sure now. 

“Yeah your voice is crazy good, we're honored to play alongside you” Jake chimed. 

“Oh wow you guys are gonna make me cry” you chuckle “thank you so much, that means a lot coming from someone with your talent” you reply. Sam waves his hand incredulously as if you were hyping them up and making them out to be better than they really were.. You weren't. They are  awe inspiring musicians.

“Water?” a stagehand offered walking over with a cooler. 

“Oh thank fucking Christ” Josh rendered making a bee line for the cooler. You chuckled, and now that you thought of it your throat was extremely dry from singing as well. Jake nicely offered you the bottle he grabbed with a smile. A true gentleman. 

“Thank you!” you offer as you grab the bottle from him. You practically ripped the cap off and chugged the whole bottle. It was delicious and cold and ran over your tongue and down your throat with a refreshingly cold bite. 

The five of you stand there and re hydrate for a minute before Sam speaks “we should go grab a drink!” he suggests with a slight raise of his perfect eyebrows. The guys look at you in waiting. 

“You wanna join us?” Josh asks, flashing a pearly white smile. You look around at them for a mere second before responding. 

“Sure! Yeah that sounds fun” 

“Right on, I think I saw a bar down the street we can go to” Jake claims as you all head to the doors behind the dressing rooms. 

Rain began to expel from the dark clouds above you as you all headed down the road. Cold air kisses your skin causing you to shiver slightly, you only had on black leather pants and a pink floral pattern blouse that you tied up a bit to expose part of your stomach. It was late, must have been almost midnight by now, the air was heavy with moisture and you could smell the rain soaked cement under your feet. 

“Are you cold?” Josh questions as he walks beside you, he startled you a bit. You smiled and looked at your arms, they were dotted with goosebumps. 

“Yeah kinda” you reply sheepishly. Josh instantly takes off the jean jacket he was wearing and handed it to you. Jake and the others were a few feet behind the two of you carrying on a conversation about the show. You reached out and accepted the jacket, Josh's gaze nonchalantly floated down your arm, his face fell when he noticed the deep scars that peppered across your skin near your wrists. You notice him looking at them before he brings his gaze back up to meet yours. Your cheeks burned with embarrassment and you quickly put the jacket on. 

“I-I’m sorry, I didn't mean to stare” he says softly, looking down at the wet street. You knew by the tone in his voice he wasn't judging you. His look was filled with concern, not judgement.

“It's alright, people stare all the time” you responded 

“It doesn't bother me so much anymore, i'm used to it.” you added. Josh nods, a sad look still lingers on his gentle face. His jacket was warm, his scent filled your nose, it was comfortable and soothing, much like the rain that fell from the sky. You looked at him out of the corner of your eye, you could tell he was thinking about something, he had that  thousand yard stare stuck in his eyes. You hadn't known Josh for long but it's not hard to tell when someone is enthralled in thought.

“How long have you been singing?” you ask, trying to pull him from whatever trance he was in. 

“A long time, most of my life really” he answers with a smile. Talking about his music clearly made him happy. He in turn asked you the same question. You laugh before responding. 

“Honestly I've only been singing for a few years….drumming is my real talent and I've been doing that for most of my life, coming up on 18 years” you explain. Josh’s expression shifted from a smile to a look of surprise.

“Wow that’s awesome , are you self taught?” he asks again. You nodded “my dad taught me a few things here and there more when I first started out but, mostly I've taught myself” you said. Josh chuckled with a nod.

“That is really cool” he replied, you could tell by the tone and instance of his voice that he was genuinely impressed. 

“Oo careful on the compliments you've never heard me play before, just because I've been playing for a long time doesn't mean i’m any good” you joke, Josh laughs, shakes his head and nudges your shoulder. 

“Well have to get you behind Danny's kit some time” he implores. Hearing him say that made you happy, it meant he wanted to see you again. 

“You guys did really good tonight, I cant believe I've never heard of you guys before really. It wasn't until my manager told me who I'd be playing with at the festival that I started looking into you guys.” you admit. 

“Thanks you did an excellent job too, i really loved that first song you sang, ‘salt is my sugar’ I really resonated with that one, truly felt it, there's a lot of emotion in your lyrics.

“This is it,” Sam announces opening the front door and holding it for everyone to walk in. the smell of smoke and dark liquor hang heavy in the air. An ACDC song played over the speakers. It wasn't very busy, there was an older man sitting at the bar, a couple younger people playing pool and a few others scattered in booths. It was a total dive bar, a hole in the wall, which was just your style. You all sat at the bar on squeaky worn out bar stools. 

“What can I get you?” the bartender asked, perching himself up with his arms rested on the bar as a washrag sat, oh so typically, on his shoulder as he awaited your response. Jake looked at Josh with a raised brow giving him that ‘get a load of this guy’ look. 

“I'll have a beer,” Danny ordered. 

“Me as well please” Jake adds.

“Southern comfort and seven up for me please” you order next. 

“Hmm I'll have a long island iced tea” Sam says. You look at him holding back a chuckle Huh didn't take him for a long island iced tea kinda guy but to each their own. The bartender looked to josh. 

“Salty dog please” he requests.

“Put your IDs on the counter” the bartender instructs as he turns around to collect everyone's drinks. The five of you did as you were told and laid out your IDs. 

“So where are you guys headed now that the festival is over?” you asked playing with a stained, old coaster that sat in front of you. 

“We’re going back to Michigan for some well deserved time off” Josh responds. 

“For a little while anyways” he adds with a smile. 

“Hey I live in silver city!” you reply happily , silver city was a small town in Michigan closer to the upper peninsula. 

“Small world” you added. What are the chances the two of you lived within a few hours of each other and never met until the both of you played a festival in Los Angeles. 

You turn your attention to the combination of alcoholic drinks that the bartender set in front of you. Everyone reached for theirs offering quick cheers before taking a drink. The carbonation of the seven up burned against your throat before the alcohol sent the warming sensation through your chest and stomach. 

“Ah yum” you said, wincing from the sharpness of the alcohol. Jake laughed as he watched you.

“Not very convincing,” Sam says smiling. You laugh and take another drink. You watch Josh stir his drink lightly with the small straw it came with, he notices you looking. 

“Ever had a salty dog before?” he asks, hoping you say no. 

You simply shake your head in reply. He slides his drink closer to you. 

“We can share if you want, it's really good?” he offers. You look at the pink drink in front of you. 

“What's in it?” you ask. 

“It's just gin and grapefruit juice with a little salt around the rim,” he says. 

“Oh god that sounds horrible” you laugh.

“It's actually not that bad” Danny pipes up with a shrug.

“He made me try it a few weeks ago,” he adds. 

“Alright I'll take your word for it” you smile at Danny. You look back down at the drink. 

“I promise I didn't spike it” Josh chimes.  You laugh loudly, why would he even say that? 

“That's exactly what someone who spiked my drink would say” 

“But I guess I trust you guys” you add before taking a healthy sip of the beverage. 

“Hmm that's not bad!” conclude, it was much sweeter than you thought it would be, it kind of reminded you of orange juice and vodka. Josh nods with an I told you so sort of look on his face. 

“Here, try mine,” Sam says next, handing you his glass. 

“Alright you try mine too” you reply with a smile. Sam's slender fingers brush against yours as he grabs the drink from you , your eyes look to his and he winks. 

Oh god, I can't be attracted to two of them. Honestly, who were you kidding? You were insanely attracted to all of them, how were they ALL so cute and gorgeous? Not fair to the rest of man-kind. 

“Wow this one is super good!” you remark going in for another drink of the long island iced tea. 

“Yeah can you believe there's like 8 different alcohols in there? No tea at all” he laughs, you laughed with him. His laugh was sweet and light, like orange sparkling shards of glass dancing through the air. The five of you began talking about life and learning a lot about each other, ordering more drinks along the way. You could tell the mix of drinks was beginning to take effect on you, you felt warm and relaxed. You were standing next to Danny now, he towered over you, this man was truly a beast.the smell of his cologne wrapped around you. It was oaky and mossy with a hint of citrus, you couldn't help but feel an electrifying pull of attraction to him.

For fucks sake, you curse yourself.  

A few games of pool (which, it turns out Jake is like a God at pool) later you all found yourselves back at the bar carrying on more conversation, albeit more slurred now. It was much easier to open up to people when alcohol was involved. You rolled the sleeves of josh's jacked up, exposing your arms as the alcohol was making you extremely warm.

“What happened to you?” the bartender asks loudly. You and the guys all look at him with hints of confusion. 

“I got the worst concoction of my parents DNA possible” you joke , the boys laugh. Jake nudges your shoulder. 

“Shut up you're gorgeous” he says softly. You give him a quick smile. 

“No. Your arm. What happened to your arm.” the bartender says again, nodding to your scars. You hated when people asked that question, like they didn't know why you had those scars on your wrists. Very few things leave scars like that on skin. You looked around at the guys, josh looked pissed and the others looked saddened as this was the first time they had seen your scars, and they knew damn well what it was from, they weren’t as stupid as this bartender. The air of the bar had shifted, the mood went from fun loving to hostile very quickly. Fuck this guy.

“I got in a fight with a weed wacker” you retort sarcastically. The man rolls his eyes.

“What happened? Did your little boyfriend break up with you? Flunk a class? Your puppy ran away?” he was mocking you. You said nothing in return.

“You're just another one of those emotionally confused little girls, no reason to hate her life.” he continues. For some reason he was trying to upset you , and you had no idea why, you'd been nothing but pleasant to the man since the moment you entered the bar.

“First of all i'm not a girl, I'm a woman. Who pissed in your Wheaties this morning man? You're mad because you got all D’s in high school and now you're stuck serving losers like us in this shit hole, pretentious, sorry excuse of a bar? Go fuck yourself. I don’t hate my life.” you answer , anger pooling in your throat. 

“Hey man. Lay off.” Danny says with a look of warning. 

“Of course you don't hate your life” the man says ignoring Danny completely. 

“You just do it for attention, think if you slice yourself up maybe someone will feel bad for you huh? I've seen your kind before girl.” he speaks again. OK now this idiot was pissing you off. You never did it for attention, attention was the last thing you wanted, especially when it came to your scars, you wished you could erase them.

“Look, I've got three things to say to you,” you reply with an irritated sigh. You stood up from your stool and stepped closer to the man. 

“One” you say, holding up your pointer finger giving the illusion that you were going to list reasons of argument to him. Instead you ball your hand into a fist and punch the guy right in his fucking jaw with all your drunken might. To your surprise (and no doubt everyone else's) the bartender fell to the floor, you knocked him out.. Everyone was wide eyed and silent 

“Lets get outta here” Josh says, breaking the glistening silence in the bar, noticing everyone looking at the five of you. Jake grabbed a bottle of Jack before all of you ran out of the door. None of you could suppress your laughs as you took off down the street. Out of breath you all keeled over in a field of grass a few feet from the tour buses in a fit of laughter. You sat down on the wet grass and looked up at the clouds. Danny sat on your left and Sammy was on your right, Josh and Jake sat in front of you and you all formed a small little circle. 

“That felt good” you say softly, referring to punching that shit head of a bartender. Sam laughed.

“Yeah that was awesome, I can't believe you knocked him out” Jake chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. The air went silent again as you all sat with your own thoughts. Your face slowly lost emotion as thoughts of what the man said swirled around your mind. You tried not to let what people said to you about your scars get to you too much but it was hard sometimes. Danny noticed your expression and you felt his hand draw soft circles on your back.

“That guy was an idiot. He was just being an asshole” Josh said softly, you nodded, knowing he was right. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe you were just really that sad but a tear fell down your face and your voice cracked as you spoke. 

“I just feel so alone sometimes” you wiped the tears away as quickly as they fell. You could feel all of them watching you with sympathetic eyes.

“Everyone's got their vice (y/n)” Danny said quietly, his hand still grazing your back. 

Josh rolls his shirt sleeve up and reveals dozens of little horizontal scars covering his shoulder. He grabs your hand and you look up at him to meet his gaze. He stroked your hand with his thumb and gave you a comforting, gentle look. 

“You're not alone”

[daprec]

BJJ Floating Mat System DIY Walkthrough

I’m going to share the process of building a floating mat system, from design to sourcing materials and build. I figured I try to take out as much guess work since I had no guidance and had to learn on my own. There were several pieces of the puzzle that came as some small surprises, but hopefully this helps the next person who decided to make the leap to a better mat system. I’m unsure of the process for other countries, but in my case I will detail the process for importing goods into New Zealand – it may differ in other places. I’ll include links to the factory for all the specific mats I ordered in the post.

Towards the end of Sept 2020, just after the Covid-19 lockdown ended in New Zealand, I had an opportunity to expand my BJJ club and sub-lease space in our existing gym we ran out of. I had an elaborate vision of a floating mat system underneath some juicy dollamur mats for use to train in.

I was introduced to the floating mat system years ago when I lived in Los Angeles on a visit to Kron Gracie’s academy in Culver City. I had worked down the street and wanted to congratulate him and have a look around. My friend Ollie Barre worked there and he showed me around, even Kron said hello and mentioned the spring loaded floating mat system to me.

It was about 1/2 a meter high with actual springs under the floor with plywood on top and tatame on top of the ply. It was amazing!

Image courtesy of Kron Gracie Academy Linkedin page

I knew that’s what I wanted but I didn’t have the budget for springs, so I explored other options. After a few searches I came across a couple videos:

How to build the ultimate spring subfloor for your Judo, Jujitsu and Wrestling mats

&

How to build a Bjj subfloor

Foam and ply – sweet I can do that! Let’s measure the space:

9.7m x 4m – pretty decent space!

After the measurement I needed to visualize the build. I knew I had to see it and make something for others to see the vision I had, so I modeled everything out in Maya and made a 3D render:

Concept render

I used real world units to keep everything to spec, that means the units I use in the 3D application are accurate to and equal to the units I would use on the actual build. The sub-floor would be the most difficult thing to explain to a builder, so I did a couple renders of what the underbelly would look like:

14 sheets of plywood with sub-floor foam block layout

Single sheet plywood foam block layout

I began compiling a list of materials I would need:

15 sheets of 2440mm x 1200mm x 12mm non-structural plywood

6 sheets of closed cell polyethylene foam

tons of liquid nail

timber for boxing in – unsure of spec at that time

5cm thick floor mats, tatame finish

21 wall mats @ 183cm x 122cm x 5cm

Living in New Zealand is awesome BUT sourcing some of these materials was going to be difficult and super expensive. I started calling around and emailing different foam companies and dollamur reps. I was getting quotes just for the dollamur mats of $5-6k NZD alone! I found a company that imports foam and was quoted $500/sheet of PE foam! I didn’t even bother looking at the wall mats – it would have cost me closer to 10K to get everything from NZ companies, so I decided to cut out the middle man and source materials myself.

Of course this lead me to Alibaba.com – the Chinese based website that gives people like myself access to factories where these things are typically made. After a few days of searching and multiple emails, I found a factory – Quindao Sanhong Plastic Co, LTD – that appeared to manufacture everything I needed – floor mats, wall mats and PE foam sheets.

It was my 1st time using Alibaba and to be honest I was SUPER dubious. I would be dealing with people outside of the country I lived in which carries a larger sense of the unknown.

I ended up chatting with a service person named Emily. She was incredibly helpful and thorough and made sure she understood what I required. I sent her an absurd amount of photos, videos, all of my renderings of what I had in mind, the measurements and other specs. She talked me into getting a more dense mat (40kg/cbm – a new unit of measurement I was completely unfamiliar with) for both the floor mats and sub-floor mats.

Originally I intended to have that pool noodle type foam, but Emily urged me not to go that route and go for something thicker – the cost was negligible so I went for it. Trusting someone you’ve never met overseas was hard, but I figured I needed to roll the dice.

The floor mat specs I went with were 3 rolls of 9.7m x 1.33m x 5cm with a tatame finish

Link to mats here

Floor mats

Next were the wall mats. I needed 21 wall mats @ 183cm x 122cm x 5cm Link to mats here

Wall mats

Next was the closed cell sub-floor PE foam. Quindao made 2m x 1m sheets of this stuff, and I needed 6 sheets total to accommodate my space. These were roughly $40USD / sheet so if I got it wrong I figured it wouldn’t be TOO much of a loss. Link to foam sheets here

This is the pool noodle foam I was expecting, but not what I ended up receiving

Emily was very patient and understand of my reservations in dealing with an overseas factory. After a few more emails and messages I pulled the trigger and made the order. At this stage Emily walked me through the process and gave me a general idea of several unknown import costs. Her estimate on the NZ import tax was very close, but she did inform me there would be other costs she had no way of providing an estimate for.

I forgot to mention that a couple months prior to ordering I had already setup a legit business in anticipation of building my dream in the future. Emily had requested an NZ Import ID so fortunately I was already qualified to apply for a NZ business import ID through NZ Customs. This cost me about $200 to register my business and get an import ID.

After providing all of my information, she came back with a total cost and import tax estimate I would pay on arrival. Freight costs from China to NZ were SUPER cheap – about $80NZD to ship 700kg worth of stuff, so that was fine.

I paid the deposit so the manufacturing could get under way. Once they were finished making all of the mats/materials I would then pay in full prior to loading onto the ship. It took them about 4 weeks to finish everything. At that time there was one final check through that they had all of my correct information and import ID and that was that. The order started on 11/02/2020 and was shipped on 12/08/2020

Because of Covid, there were huge delays with international shipping and unloading, so the wait time was longer than usual. It was supposed to take 40 days but ended up being much longer than that. The mats arrived in NZ the 1st week of February 2021 – phew at least they made it safe!

This is where a lot of the surprises and unknowns came into play. I received an email from some guy at a freight company saying my mats had arrived and I needed to send all of the arrival documents to my broker

Evidently I had to obtain an import broker to forward all of the documents to, which no one makes any mention of. But here’s where things get a little…rackety. I ended up going with EasyFreight brokers who charged me about $200 for their services. They emailed documents from NZ Customs where I then had to pay around $500NZD for the Import Tax.

Once the Import Tax was paid, my mats could then be released BUT…the mysterious freight company who initially emailed me now says I need to pay them $1900NZD before they ship my mats to Wellington. This fee was for unloading the mats from the ship and onto the dock and storing them in a warehouse until all of the documents cleared. This almost doubled the cost of the mats I ordered and by now the total cost was getting close to what I was getting quotes from NZ based companies.

I paid the invoice and they put my mats onto a truck to be shipped down to Wellington to ANOTHER freight company – not directly to me for whatever dumb reason. I contacted the new freight company, had a bit of confusion and back and forth but eventually I ended up having to pay them another $250NZD to ship my mats to the gym. What a racketeering outfit huh?

They delivered the mats and I immediately started ripping up the packaging to have a look at my new goods. I have to say that what I purchased exceeded my expectations. The floor mats where BETTER than what I expected, the wall mats were BETTER than what I anticipated and the sub-floor foam ended up being more closer to memory foam than pool noodle foam. Holy hell we’re gonna have some sweet mats to roll on!

To the build!

After a trip to Bunnings to pickup timber, liquid nail and a few other things, that tallied up to over $1000NZD we were on our way.

The 1st order of business was to cut the foam sheets into blocks. I had originally calculated 7cm x 10cm x 10 cm but when we laid everything out, we’d only be using 2 sheets of foam and would have had to cut relatively tiny blocks. So instead we went with 20cm x 20cm x 10cm blocks – much easier to cut and deal with and even then we had a ton left over (which we made use of by the end of it.

Foam blocks

I worked out the numbers and we did 3 x 5 rows of blocks per plywood sheet

1st row of 8 pieces of 2440mm x 1200mm x 12mm plywood with 15 foam blocks liquid nailed to ply

We had all of the blocks glued to the ply and realized we had HEAPS left over, so we decided to re-jig some things around and use the extra blocks in the spaces inbetween sheets of ply on the seams and corners. This ended up adding an extra level of stability between the ply and would be less likely to damage the mats on top.

Using extra blocks underneath ply seams

Once all the plywood was laid out and the liquid nail given a bit of time to cure, we had to then box everything in to prevent sliding. This required a concrete drill/concrete bit, about 10 dynabolts (basically concrete bolts with anchors), some timber 2 x 4s, more liquid nail and a bit of good old fashioned elbow grease.

We made a mess!

The guys marked where the holes needed to be drilled roughly 1 1/2 meters apart. After the holes were drilled and swept, we laid down a very long 2×4 that was already predrilled with the initial concrete hole drilling. A dynabolt was hammered into the hole as far as it could, then racheted down with a socket wrench to tighten. The 1st piece of timber would be the foundation the other boxing in pieces would be anchored to.

The farside wall was crooked so that meant our sheets were slightly offset on the outside edge. As long as the surrounding box was square, the top layer mats would hide the crooked ply and we’d be fine.

Timber posts are rather expensive in NZ and usually crooked, so we ended up gluing and screwing 2 2×4 together so that 1. they cost less and 2. we could straighten them much easier.

Boxing in almost complete

To secure the 2x4s to the base we used nails and several Stud to Bottom galvanized fixings. We needed to make sure there would be absolutely no flex with the box.

To have a nicer finish, we added a thin layer of finger jointed pine on top of the 2x4s secured with finishing nails. The grain and look of it is much more eye pleasing than the sides of 2x4s and I can stain or paint it later.

Finishing touches on the sub-floor box

We left about a 3cm lip around the box so when the mats sit on top of the ply, the outer frame would contain and lock in the mats from sliding. The mats came very well packaged in three 1.3m x 9.7m x 5cm rolls

1 of 3 mat rolls

We placed extra ply against the walls to create a wedge/spacing for the wall mats. Upon rolling out the 1st roll we realized the wall was not straight…at all, but we made it work. 1st mat down!

The middle roll was relatively easy to to setup and the velcro attachment worked out perfectly.

That tatame finish texture is looking nice!

The final row did prove to be a bit more challenging but we eventually squeezed it into the remaining space. We can do math!!

After a full day of work we got the mats installed. We started at 11am, did a Bunnings run to collect tubes of liquid nail, screws, etc, got to the gym at around 12:30pm and finished just after 1am.

The following weekend we mounted the wall mats which were relatively straight forward. We ran 2 rows of 5m x 18mm pine planks along the wall, one at the top of the wall mats and one mid mat for support. I forgot to take pics but we basically created a support system and something to drill into instead of thick firewall jib.

We finished in the evening, cleaned up and of course we had a roll!

Some after thoughts

I can’t tell you how happy I am with this setup. Having an extra 10cm of foam under the sub floor has made a HUGE difference. It only took about 3 weeks to break in the harshness of new mats, and the tatame finish has been amazing. They aren’t slippery at all and are like heaven to roll on. One thing I would have done, which I most likely will do soon is to place 1 screw into each foam block under the sub floor.

What happens is the vibrations of people moving on the mats will cause the foam blocks to shift if they liquid nail didn’t stick. Not a big deal as we can simply lift the mats/play and move the foam, but that’s the only thing I would have done. Everything else worked out perfectly and I could not be more happy.

I hope this helps anyone who is interested in building something like this. There are a LOT of unknowns that go into importing goods from overseas, but I covered all of the “gotcha” moments along the way. Also I can with full confidence say that Quindao Plastics manufacture high spec and high quality mats/foam. They exceeded my expectations, so you can purchase with confidence. I knew nothing about them, only went by their Trade Assurance certification rating on Alibaba, but who the hell knows what that means? I’m thrilled I rolled the dice – they nailed it!

Reach out if you have any questions

Oss!

BJJ Floating Mat System DIY Walkthrough was originally published on davepreciado