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Cannot stop thinking about how Fernando was the first one to hug Seb after Monza 2008:
#two men who are not afraid to hug with both arms sjfklfl#but seriously fernando especially is always going full in on hugs(rather than the typical one handed) and i respect it#BUT GODDDDDD THAT HE WAS THE FIRST!!!!!! LITERALLY MURDERED ME#ive literally watched this race before and i didnt even notice#i think i wanted to see if there were pics of them from before 2009 and came across this and was so OH?????#fun fact if you look at my gallery from during the past gp +#its literally a mix of sad reaction pics and vettonso pics. what singapore does to a man. :')#but god i feel so abnormal about this hug. its just veru sweet to me okay!!!#vettonso is fun bcs theres not as much content so every little bit is very precious and important to me <3#likeeeeee how close they hug each other and the way theyre still close when they pull back to look at each other!!!#i wonder what theyd be like if they hadnt been rivals. but tbh on the other hand their animosity is why I like them !#but ofc very sweet to see them when the slate was blank bcs then im like hmmm how long until 'fuck you my boy' happens#well! you guys know theyre my brainrot nowadays :D#watching 2010 will be fun bcs its literally primetime for all my ships#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#we do a little bit of f1#2008 italian gp
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Odypen definitely and equivalently adore each other BUT I weirdly can't see them as the type to actually say "I Love you".
They still definitely vocalize their love for each other but it's more so in "My Joy", and "Extraordinary Woman", "Strange Woman/Man", etc. And very cheesy lines (both say some cheesy shit in the Odyssey, and he definitely does in the Iliad as well. "Joy like a drowning sailor seeing land" bit???)
I could see "I adore you" but even then, that's probably during very specific moments but the actual "I love you"??? I just typed it just now for fic shit and... It weirdly just didn't feel right and I don't know why. 😅
Idk maybe it's kind of because I see them as over the top in ways, they love wordplay and riddles and I think they'd almost think "...That's not good enough >:( " about it??? I don't know???😂
#I wrote this last night. I'll do the asks I got later. don't worry! :D#I am the cheese god remember?😅#I think these two would try to “out-cheese” each other and whoever is left speechless first loses#“I would forget my own name before I would ever forget you” bullshit. CHEESY#And yes. “I sleep in our nest with you or outside on the dirt” stupidity >:D#I plan for Odysseus as a beggar to ask why she waits so long. As he's been gone a longer amount of time than the time they had together#(Simply asking as reassurance. He knows his answer. Calypso asked him. but what about Penelope?) but she gets mad at the#“Beggar” and pities him as he must be telling the truth about having a miserable life if he never got the chance to know such devotion#How what they have could never be sullied by#something as trivial as distance and years. How the years with him were the best in her life. Only made better by their son.#'My dear Joy made songs and poems about love a reality as that was simply the life we shared. Even separated our 'song' will always echo#no matter how long it's been. I'LL make sure it always does. And I know he's doing the same... That strange man used to say that#even if he died his corpse would drag itself back to us before he'd ever give up.'#...I'm not one for 'odyssey zombie au' but when I first heard it yeah. :'D Came up with this back then#“His eyes as hard as flint or horn-” Bullshit! The sad lil fuck is hiding sobs with coughs and telling her to keep away for fear of her#catching whatever “illness” he has. The nice thing about being disguised as old means sickly old man works.#...#I'm noticing that Odysseus has a lot of silly oneliners while I write Penelope with a shit ton of set up :'D#They are so silly and I love them so much#...I wrote a lot :'D#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#my headcanons#odypen#yahoo!!!#sometimes I wonder if I should tag this with more things but I don't want to taint the regular tags with my bullshit :'D I KNOW I'm insane
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artfight attack 5!!!!!!!
character belongs to threeofspades on af, version without doodle under the cut
#this was revenge but also this character has my favorite band (tigercub) in his playlist#i was just listening to the playlist and like my favorite song came on i was so suprised#actually kinda sad i didn’t notice it earlier because tigercub has DEFINED my personal art recently#and i wish this peice specifically was perfume of decayified but i was like halfway done already when it came on#art#dnd oc#dnd#dnd art#kenku#dnd kenku#artfight#artfight 2024
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oh. sometimes fic makes you remember huh
#sen rambles#kinda tmi ig i don’t think ive talked about it here#but when i broke up with my last partner i slowly moved my stuff out leading up to the breakup#and i got really sad bc he didn’t notice my stuff was gone. though i barely would’ve noticed if i was him#and when i came back to get all my stuff it really didn’t feel like much changed. like. i took a desk and a dresser out#and that was practically it. it didn’t feel that empty. it still felt lived in. and idk that made me feel so sad#like i felt like it was never “our” space it was his and i just happened to be there#anyways i’m in a much better place now but man. the past just hits you sometimes huh
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flippin boobahs!
#weezer#rivers cuomo#brian bell#patrick wilson#scott shriner#OKAH HI CHAT#i’ve been thinking#this tag will be just a rant not really weezer related#yk laufey ?#i was listening to her song ‘letter to my 13 year old self’ and just started overthinking about myself when i was younger#i just think about my younger self and get so sad thinking about her; i wish i could’ve done more for her#i was a huge introvert and talking to anybody made me super super anxious; so much so that my teacher noticed and had me join a ‘social#emotional learning’ group where we spoke about low self esteem and how to raise it and everything like that#i only left it in 8th grade because i didn’t wanna keep missing class for it; but it made me so sad to think i thought so low of myself#i would wear hoodies all the time and jeans because i used to hate my body a lot#which is awful to do in socal heat!#i think it started because in my family i was always stereotyped as the fat one; yk how mexican families are? they called me gordita for#the longest time; which made me incredibly insecure and only in 10th grade did i start showing my arms 😭 IK ITS DUMB BUT ITS SO WEIRD#i still can’t do it entirely; i’ll wear shrugs and things like that because i still am insecure about my arms sometimes but ive been better#i only really had one friend but she had a different lunch; so i was alone for most of the time on the swings by myself or sitting at the#lunch tables alone waiting for lunch to end and this noon duty came to me a lot and would talk to me since she felt bad i was always alone#while everybody else played with each other ; and i don’t know why i just broke down thinking about how lonely i was at the time#i’d go to the school’s friendship room everyday after that because it was just a teacher who let kids come inside her room to play games if#they didn’t wanna be in the heat and soon i became friends w the teacher and she’d play uno with me everyday; mainly because the room was#relatively empty until they got loom bands! and i was an expert on loom bracelets so i would help others make them and that was a confidenc#e boost; i remember being proud of myself for socializing like that LOL#i just get sad thinking about that time; i like to think that if little Lyss saw me; she would be so proud because i have friends;#a boyfriend ; good grades ; and i’m well liked and regarded. i hope she’s proud of my progress socially because it was such a leap#i wish i could go back in time and tell her how much better things get and how she won’t be lonely forever#…and to not online date. definetly don’t do that one.
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do you ever hear the phrase "I was so scared of wasting a day that I nearly wasted my life" and have it haunt you for a month
there are so many times I've felt like I simply lost years, and you'll finally do something and realize you spent six months saying "I should do that soon" without doing anything or "I should get back to that" each day for months on end
#this post is primarily about a mix of gender and writing stuff#but there's also a lot recently where I've felt like I came to thinking when did it become too late to do anything#I spent the last 8 months unsure what was happening with hrt treatment and it took 10 minutes to get the next process to start happening#instead of waiting unsure#(to be fair my doctor was just On Leave for 4 of those months but still)#and likewise it has been six months since I properly worked on my novel and it kills me inside not doing so#but it's also about like#idk missing people that just kind of drift away and u never really noticed when it just kind of happened and suddenly its been forever#it is a Rough Melancholy Evening#and while this is also celebrating the fact I did get the hrt ball rolling again#and trying to really pump myself up to return to The Shape of a Lie to finish a shareable draft with my friends#I think I spent a lot of July just kind of mourning many months of these things being on standby because I was afraid of wasting a day#and wasted half a year again#anyway love u guys I had a little bit to drink at a work party tonight and it made me sad and reflective lmao <3
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man.
#ok so#cw suicide#not like about anyone specific it's just like. very relevant to the story#so there's this bridge that i live near that goes over this kind of tall chasm#just with like a small creek and a load of trees and stuff it's just down a bit of a cliff#and of course. you can probably guess what happens unfortunately pretty often there#so when i started going to therapy i would drive past that bridge every day. and i noticed over time#people started adding notes to the bridge saying like 'don't do it you have so much to live for' and stuff like that#like with sharpie or laminated index cards ziptied to the bridge and stuff#well last week the cops took fucking ALL of it down and painted over it all because it's 'grafitti'#motherfucker i saw notes from people who CAME BACK to thank the graffitists because it made them turn around#it makes me so fucking angry and so fucking sad
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long winded rant in the tags coming that’s partly about weight but in a very unfiltered sad way so if that triggers you do Not read on
#on holiday I was like oHHHHH this is what living in the moment is! What listening to your body is! what not worrying about how you look is#but doing what makes you happy#and then …… I came home and got sent the pictures#+ my friend being. unintentionally fatphobic as fuck#while hurtful as fuck too#and it’s all just been piling up too since I got home because I’ve been having a lot of conversations and seeing a lot of people that#confront me with who I used to be and who I am now and how I’m really not happy with that#and it feels like it’s not gonna get better#like I’m destined to be in a job I like but isn’t what I want because I’m not capable enough and I’ll never know what romantic requited love#feels like. I’ll never cure my vaginismus I’ll never be able to let someone in or they won’t want me this is just it for me#and SOMEHOW the way I look has become the ultimate culmination of all those things?#my face is suddenly a woman in her thirties face#I keep gaining weight despite not even eating all that much because FUCKING PCOS makes it impossible#my hair in my face grew back. my stomach is hairy and that plus the added beer belly just makes it look like I’m a 50 year old man#I am soooooooo tired of the dysphoria#and the way pcos ruins fucking everything because I can restrict calories all I want and move all I want but will it help ? No !#and of the fact that it impacts the way I feel about myself so much because I’m convinced now I’ll never find anyone#should have tried harder when I was 21 because that was the only time in my life I reasonably fit society’s standards like That was my shot#I’ve been taking supplements everyone says will help but I’m not sure I noticed anything in the past six months and I can’t take berberine#because it fucks with my heart medication. which. That too. I have that too#and I’m in pain! All the time now! ALL THE TIME so I can’t even work out to keep the weight stable because guess what ?#just after a normal day at the office I come home and have to lie down because everhthing hurts so much !#today I got an impromptu massage in an attempt to feel better but it didn’t fix shit and I had to buy clothes for kings day after#and I didn’t try them on just quickly grabbed some orange shit to try on at home and at what I saw in the mirror I genuinely got nauseous#I just don’t know who that is in the mirror but it’s not me and I can’t accept it. I’ve been trying so hard but I can’t#it genuinely makes me so sad and I keep telling myself that a reduction will help in feeling more like myself and it will help with the pain#but what if it doesn’t? what if my pain doesn’t go away after af all and my stomach just juts out and I feel like a gremlin all the time#what then. what the fuck do we do then. also I’m so fucking scared of that surgery anyway that I don’t fucking want to do it anymore#I want so many things and all of them feel out of reach and I know my own brain is my worst enemy and it’s not rooted in anything real but.#Isn’t it? really — isn’t it???????
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Welcome to the first Chill Valicer Save update of 2024! Where we discover that the gang is a few months ahead of us in the calendar and already celebrating Egg Day. :p However -- before we get into that, we first have to cover a mini-update I did before playing through Egg Day proper, where I took a crack at updating the house a little bit! I'd hoped to do a bit more with replacing furniture and such, but ended up deciding to hold off until after Christmas/my birthday (when I received the cashola to buy Horse Ranch and Home Chef Hustle) when I'd have more options. Here's what I did manage to update, though:
A) I took all the new plants out of Smiler’s inventory (black bean, soybean, coconut, pineapple, noxious elderberry, poison fireleaf – as it turns out, I didn't need them to buy a pomegranate as we already had a pomegranate tree), plus the spare planter that Victor made way back when from the household inventory, plopped all those in the greenhouse, and started rearranging! I now have all of Smiler’s herbalism stuff together, with the noxious elderberry and poison fireleaf next to their counterparts; all the veggies together; all the fruits together (with the pineapple next to the dragon fruit); all the flowers together; the soybean and black bean in the new planter; and the coconut in the empty patch in the orchard. So basically everything is now grouped a lot better. I may still rearrange the planters themselves in the future so certain types of plants are closer to the crafting stations that use them (like putting all flowers near the flower-arranging bench), but at least now all the similar plants are grouped together properly! Oh, and while I was in there, I tried replacing the "stuck" juice fizzer (that was permanently displaying a "ready to collect" screen with nothing in it) with a new one, just so the gang had one at home if they wished to use it. I later discovered that the new one ended up "stuck" too, but at least I tried?
B) I replaced both the upstairs and downstairs litter boxes with the fancy kind that shoots lasers to automatically vaporize cat poop. XD Hey, look, the family can afford it, and it saves them having to clean the litter boxes.
C) I recolored Moory’s shed to some cheerier colors after being like “why would THIS FAMILY, of all families, go with a beige cow shed” – now it’s bright yellow! Isn't that nicer?
D) I replaced the toilet and sink in the downstairs bathroom with more expensive versions – with decorative slots, so I could put a soap dispenser on the sink. :) I was going to do the same upstairs, but ran into a problem because the two bathrooms have very distinct color schemes, and I’m not sure the toilet and sink combo I used downstairs would fit with either...have to ponder that one a bit more!
E) I penned in Toothy – which involved MOVING Toothy to the other side of the front yard, by the tree in the left-hand corner and the wind farm, because as it turns out cowplants need surprisingly big pens. Possibly because Sims have to stand a certain distance away from them to feed and play with them. If I’d left Toothy in its usual spot, I wouldn’t have had any way to get to the pet obstacle course in the corner by the kitchen. I’m still not ENTIRELY happy with the placement, but it’ll do for the moment, and it means Toothy is now cut off from anyone who can’t get through the gate – which is anyone but household members. *nods*
F) And this one I didn't get a good shot of (though you'll see it in a future update) – I copied one of the grouped photo frames I got from that family reunion I did a little bit back and put some of Victor and Alice’s honeymoon photos from Selvadorada in there. It looks nice (even if I still have a couple of spare photos that have to be arranged around the grouped frames), but I still need to decide how to handle all the photos they’ve got hanging around. I’ve been thinking that I should maybe cull a few so they have more space on their walls and perhaps look a touch less narcissistic...but the problem there is, I personally love the photos, so I don’t know if I could bring myself to delete them. *sigh* We SO need “photo albums” in the this game. Give me a book object that you can put photos in, and that when you click on it, plays a little slideshow of the photos, and I will be CONTENT.
#sims 4#the lazy save#as you might expect#since it's past Christmas and I DID buy Horse Ranch and Home Chef Hustle using my parents' cashola#there's another farmhouse update coming in the future XD#but first we have to cover what I actually played over December#and this was a pretty good start when it came to a makeover I think!#it gave me great pleasure to organize that greenhouse#it really needed it#little sad Toothy couldn't stay in its usual place but I really thought the pen was a good idea#now I don't have to worry so much about wandering NPCs approaching#and yes I know that it's kind of ironic that I recolored the cow shed because 'why would they go with beige'#and then kept the downstairs bathroom entirely beige XD#to be fair I think the bathroom being beige is kinda funny#I might add a little more color in the form of artwork later#you'll notice the bathrooms upstairs are colored in accordance with everyone's favorite colors though#the beige one is for the public :p#they can deal with it#queued
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the coot (type of bird) that I rescued on thanksgiving had to be put down :[
They didn’t tell me what happened so idk if it was sickness or injury. The place I took it to only releases animals, they can’t keep them if they’re not able to survive in the wild. Idk if it was due to being not fit to be released or if it just wasn’t going to make it either way.
#context: bird was in the parking lot of my apartment for 2 days without moving#possibly sick or injured I don’t know which#I took it to a wildlife rescue#idk if it was inevitable or if it was cause we took too long to take it. not that it was in my control#someone noticed it in the morning but I was already on the way to work#when I came home the rescues were closed#so I had to wait till the next day (thanksgiving) to drop it off#it wasn’t in my control but I still feel shitty about it#mainly because. I worry that if it was an injury then it was caused by the idiotic people that live here#it’s bad enough that we have 2 Egyptian geese that had their wings broken on purpose so they can’t leave this place#I just hope it wasn’t the same situation#people here are always trying to kill or hurt the animals#all these animals living in a damn parking lot. it’s sad. lots of the cats are abandoned pets.#we have: iguanas. raccoons. Muscovy ducks. cats. egyptian geese. and a wide variety of birds.#everything but native birds are trapped here because the road is too dangerous to cross. also there’s just nowhere better for them to go
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IS TGIS JUST DEPRESSION??? HAS IT JUST BEEN DEPRESSION ALL ALONG ?????
#im like wow im tired and sad#huh i notice im sad more often when im tired but am i tired so im sad or am i so tired bc im sad (depressed i mean)#this probably wont make sense but i looked up why do i get so sad when im tired and depression fatigue came up and a lightbulb flashed#not sure for what exactly but a connection was made and its gotten away from me now. ok bye <3#des rambles
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Not dad trying to tell me about some big fallout news he heard about from some work colleague 😂 oh what the poor man just subjected himself too.
#it was about that leak from weeks ago. dad got quite the details about it. he walked right into that one.#and that dear sir is why we do not try to bring news about the hyperfixation. i will know about it and you will hear about it.#dude even got the history of fallout 3 as a bonus. since that was the one he mentioned 😂#he also got a very veeeery long version about why i would necessarily get so excited about the leaks.#you know age of the document. the whole company sale thing. how much the time line clearly has already gone to shit. etc etc etc.#yeah... yeah i think he really came to regret that one 😅#listen i have only slept 5 hours. am high on caffeine and painkillers- almost had a migraine ok.#which means i have like 0 filter rn and am quite brain tired. i will not realise how long i am going on for once i get started rn.#the info dump has started and it will end when i brain says so. i sure af won't notice I am doing it cause I'm just excited to share#not until i manage to like finish my long ass story do i realise i went on for like a good 20-30 minutes... oops.#and that may just be a generous estimate cause i got really going on the infodump ok. it was a blast. ngl.#i am very passionate about fallout ok. this is what happens when you fall asleep to fallout lore most days of the week.#yes i lost the plot ages ago about this hyperfixation. it makes me very happy. so i don't even care. i will keep doing it.#til the hyperfixation dies and bring great sadness to the lands... til we find something else. god knows when that is though.#i am very ok if fallout hyperfixation just... doesn't go away actually. i like hyperfixation. brings many a solution when upsetty.#.... i really need to stfu up now. hi. 👋 why are you still reading this??? these ramblings of a madman. 😂#ryder speaking#i got this far before i realised i did not in fact write wouldn't get excited... well i aint fixing it now 🙃
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Anton compilation
#i miss him so much going through old photos on my laptop and like every second photo i took was an anton photo#there were so many little things about him that will never be there again. But I'm so happy i got to see them even the disgusting ones.#he would lay on my feet when i was cutting vegetables. he would flatten his ears as a way of saying hi.#he would do his best impression of a human hello when encountering people on his walks. he loved to eat carrots#and whenever he got one he'd run off to his bed with it and the crunching would be so loud.#he could notice when people were angry or sad and he'd try to comfort me and lick my face when i was crying.#we'd throw sticks for him into wheat fields and he'd lose them in there and prance like a deer only his ears sticking out.#he smelled really awful most of the time. he loved to eat shit and dead animals.#he was really scared of sheep and skylarks and our neighbors cat#he loved swimming and when he first learned how he splashed around so much like a little fountain.#he liked to sleep with his head on my shoes. at night i would hear the tap of his little feet#and then a thump when he'd lay down against my parents bedroom door and then a really loud sigh.#he once got on the table and ate the bolognaise when my mom was picking me up from school but he left a plateful for me#he made genuinely the strangest noises I've ever heard a dog produce.#after i moved out he was always so happy when i came to visit. he loved people#when he was younger there were a few trigger words that made him so excited he'd run up the stairs and howl. one of them was my sisters nam#as he got older he became more of a baby and so cuddly and calm.#i'm really sad that i didn't get to say goodbye to him or be there when he died but i hope he knew how much i love him
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tfw you did Not want to learn something via your activity feed but it’s also good you did before you have a ragefit in the magazine aisle at tesco
#i also just noticed that i write in second person when i'm trying to not have any emotional reaction to what i'm saying about me#which is. wild.#but also i need to barf ugh#my greatest hope rn is that this will blow up in their faces So Hard#i will get popcorn#the toffee kind bc the other ones make me sick#and laugh loudly.#you Deserve this to blow up in your faces.#and i deserve to say I Told You So on repeat for an hour.#i cannot Tell you how much i respect chibbs for just leaving when he was done#i am very sad it is over. Legitimately. But i have a whole new respect for the guy who did what he came here to do#and then quit and left because he's done#breath of fresh air#dw shit#as it turns out
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feeling positively inconsolable........!
#christmas is RUINED#it actually has nothing to do with christmas and isnt a big life problem its just something im Very Sad about#and i cant tell my friends bcus they would be sad too!! and theres a chance it could all be okay and i dont wanna tell em#dont wanna admit i let this happen.... how could i.........#but i must talk about my feelings and my mom is already sick of me (/lh) so. tumblr tag vent#i just cant believe it today was the worst day for it to happen#i came home. cried about it. was normal. thought about it again. now i cant do Anything#this is like when i broke my tablet and lost all my art#its not as bad as that but same vibe#its bc of my own lack of caution and im So Sad about it Forever#like it would have been so easy for it not to have happened and its so impossible to fix afterward#how can life have these small tragedies that i dont notice until its past too late#oh i lament it all!!#oh how i lament.......#teeths
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i’m 10000% out of patience ✨b y e✨
#today… well. yesterday… was pretty terrible ngl#one of my titration units refused to cooperate. the best titration unit was taken out of service. and..#i came down with a pretty bad cold. cheers……..#i also kept (nearly) falling asleep on my feet till lunch time (when i could take a nap) but aaaaaaaaaa#also my boss took notice of my emotional support sponge that i keep in my pocket at work :( she k n o w s#went to the doctor after work and got everything for free thanks to company insurance though… so that’s kinda nice ig~~#and my pay with a random bonus came in so that’s cool too ig~~~~~#and i got to take a few days off with my sick leave so i can sleeeeeeeep~~~~~#but stilllllll… i was tryna record the lxl main story but my phone butchered the recording (sads)…#i wonder if i’ll be able to wake up before eos though… i have stuff to record aaaaaaaaaaa#anyways. yeah. colds suck. end of story#inedible blubbering
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